#nonbinary experience

[sydsixxftm]

I think it's rather silly to believe that I, as a trans masc, desire to imitate cis men. When truly my masculinity is just my natural state, and that masculinity that I naturally display just-so-happens to place me in the societal gender category of "man".

I never wanted to "be like a man". I just exist as a masculine person in a ftm body.

[whereserpentswalk]

Remember that supporting nonbinary people means supporting nonbinary people who don't medically transition, or who don't look androgynous, or who don't dressed differently from what's expected of their assigned gender.

And when I say "support nonbinary people who don't differ in presentation from their agab" I don't just mean fully medically transitioned transmasc femboy or transfem butches (though those people are cool and valid). You have to support people who don't medically transition, and that doesn't just mean naturally androgynous afab people who fit a butch tomboy aesthetic, or naturally androgynous amab people who fit a femboy aesthetic (though those people are valid and cool), you have to support nonbinary people whose appearance doesn't fit into any aesthetic of nonbinaryness. And not just people who plan to medically transition, or dress differently someday, you have to accept nonbinary people whose presentation is probably not going to change.

There are a lot of nonbinary people who just kind of look like cis men or cis women, and you have to accept that they're still nonbinary, that they're still valued members of the community. Nonbinary isn't an aesthetic for you to consume, it's not something people perform for you. It's an internal identity, and it's a community. We don't choose to be nonbinary (most of the time), and we shouldn't have to look a certain way for who we are to be recognized.

It even goes into the way nonbinary people (and trans people in general) are complimented, where it's always so focused on how alien the complimenter sees them as. It's always "girlcock", "boy boobs", "they/them pussy", it feels so fetishistic. And it's not even about how sexual it is, like "UwU you're such a cute genderless girlboy" feels more fetishistic than "you have dick sucking eyes". It's this focus on how the viewer enjoys them specifically as a deviantion from what they consider a normal human, as opposed to just being attracted to someone who happens to be a deviation from what most humans are. Like, I want to see someone express attraction to a nonbinary person, as opposed to just being attracted to nonbinary people as a concept. Like can people on here even really be attracted to transfem penises as penises anymore, like be attracted to them as sexual body parts they presumably want to interact with sexually, as opposed to fetishizing them as masculine body parts on a woman.

And I use chasers as an example because it's both obvious and way too common. But this acceptance without humanization is so common in so many queer spaces, and it's specifically so common twords nonbinary people. The focus on bodies, and the focus on how those bodies differ from from what someone considers as normal. As opposed to focusing on human beings and their experiences. And I think it's why it's so hard for people to accept nonbinary people who don't look diffrent from how their agab is expected to look and never will, because you have to accept experiences over aesthetics to support those people.

Like, I need to stress that if you meet a nonbinary person, whose afab, and isn't medically transitioned, and dresses femininely, you still have to accept that they're nonbinary, you have to accept that they're 0% female if they say they're 0% female. And its not just that you need to use their pronouns, you also need to not think of them as female. And I'm specifically using a non medically transitioned afab person as an example here because the internet, especially the queer internet, seems to have a specific hatred for those people (which combined with how transfem people are talked about, and how certain cis queer people are talked about, it makes me think a lot of the queer internet inherently sees feminine bodies as lesser, and sees bodies as losing value the more feminine they become).

And there's two things I mean by "it's important to support these people". The first is just that it's a lot of nonbinary people who are like this, and a lot of them are uniquely vulnerable or invalidated, and they deserve your support and love and validation. But also because if you don't support nonbinary people who don't "look nonbinary enough" for you, every nonbinary person you know is one failure to present in a way you deem valid away from losing your support. When there's a way someone can fail at nonbinaryness to you, than there aren't any nonbinary people you truly unconditionally validate.

I have to admit that I am a nonbinary person who looks a lot like their agab myself. Not telling you if I'm afab or amab, but I am telling you that I have no plans to medically transition, and I don't dress in a way that screams nonbinary. And it sucks in certain ways, especially now that I'm in my twenties and I've lost a lot of weight (both of these are things I'm happy about in general btw), I look so diffrent from what anyone wants to validate. The only time I see art of nonbinary people who look like me it's when they're specifically the opposite agab to me. It sucks that I feel like for at least 25% of the community will either always see me as basically the gender I was assigned at birth, or they'll basically see me as a binary trans person waiting to happen.

This was a lot of words and I don't know how to end it. Please reblog to support me and nonbinary people like me. It's going to be depressing to tag this a few moments from now and see just how many fetish tags you see recommended when you try to tag something with words like "enby" or "nonbinary". It fucking sucks that I see "#enby feedee" before I see "#enby pride".

[blitzsicedcoffee]

Being Agender but also genderfluid is weird cause you'll be like "Yeah I feel like a void. Just a black void" and then the next minute or day or whatever you'll be like, "Maybe Im actually a speck of stardust hmm".

[genderless-ghosty-boi]

I'm not a girl. I was born into a female body, but I was not born a girl. I never have been and I never will be. I am not a boy. I was not born into that body, nor does it matter, because that's not who I am. I don't like my outward appearance because I can never be androgynous enough for them. For everyone else. I am always perceived as one or the other. Maybe one that made the change into the other. But I am not. I am simply me. I want to be perceived as me. Just me. I do not want to be assumed as a girl because I dress a certain way, I act a tad "too" feminine for me to be who I am, or my voice goes all high and squeaky when I'm nervous or under pressure. I do not want to be assumed as a boy, even though I am more comfortable in stereotypical "boys clothes" and I wish for my chest to be flat, I do not want to be assumed as a boy because of my manner of speaking when I am comfortable, or the way I sit.

I am not one or the other. Just me.

That is what I want others to see me as.

[gently-decaying-flowers]

i love my brother

but i feel like he’s a little black and white when it comes to gender identity- which is bizarre as he’s a trans guy

i’ve changed pronouns/gender identity/sexuality a lot because idk i’m younger and trying to figure out who i am and what feels right- and he calls me the most “inconsistent person he knows”

which kinda sucks

he told me he talked to my mom apparently about how i’d benefit from just calling myself genderfluid and i have two problems with that

1) i’m not out to my mom. i love my mom and she’s so supportive but i don’t want to come out until im sure because i don’t wanna change it up on her all the time. looks like he did that for me tho

2) genderfluid doesn’t feel right to me- at least right now. it’s not my label. i’m nonbinary/genderqueer atm and i don’t wanna change because of how he thinks i should identify

there’s also the added layer that he and his girlfriend are t4t- his partner was nonbinary for a long time and now they use they/she pronouns and identify as a fem nonbinary- WHICH IS SO COOL

but that means both of their gender experiences were a bit more binary- both leaning heavily away from their agab. i think because i still like feminine things (this convo arose last night because i showed him the swimsuit i was gonna get) and im not the more common “nonbinary androgynous” presenting person- or because i don’t lean fully away from more “feminine” things- he doesn’t really understand?

i think in his mind enby is either dressing masc if you’re afab or fem if you’re amab- or the like short hair, baggy clothes, genderless being aesthetic shown in media when it comes to enby people

and all the power to them! they’re valid and amazing as who they are, but when that becomes The Look for nonbinary people it can affect peoples acceptance of enbies who aren’t like that or can’t afford to be because of money, their home life, etc.

all this is sorta to say that you don’t have to listen to what the older queer people around you think you “should be” or what it “sounds like you are” even people who’ve been in the queer community longer have had different experiences than you- and shouldn’t dictate your interpretation of your own identity

also don’t feel bad about being inconsistent!! ever!!! i like telling myself:

maybe it is a phase but it’s not just a phase. it’s the phase i’m in and i deserve to explore it and have it be respected and feel valid, even if it changes

[spinnysocks]

it's so weird and irritating how certain descriptors are close to fitting, but they're not quite there

they are so close! to how i want to be called or described, but they're just... not... how i want to be called or described

so,

shoutout to those who don't feel described by mr, ms or even mx

shoutout to those who don't feel described by woman, man, enby, any of the sort

shoutout to those who don't feel described by boyfriend, girlfriend, partner, etc

shoutout to those who don't feel described by cute, pretty, beautiful, handsome, the list goes on

and to those who feel iffy or uncomfortable by those terms, especially those who feel they have no other choice but to go by them

i see you, i understand. <3 i'm always welcome to and hoping to hear some new or different terms :)

[agent-toast]

random enby rant/asking for advice :)

i have a friend i've known for about six years, we're very close and i trust her a lot, and recently i've told her i'm enby and use they/them pronouns. she's ok with it and tries her best to use the right pronouns for me, which i appreciate a lot... there's just one thing.

every time she gets the pronouns wrong, she mentions that it's so hard to get them right, because i don't look stereotypically enby and also she's been calling me she/her for so many years. she apologises, and i understand where she's coming from, and tell her it's ok to get it wrong as long as she's trying. but i find it kinda uncomfortable that she keeps complaining about it; it feels like it's my fault that i'm making her use so much effort to think of me as enby and i'm worried i'm inconveniencing her.

i don't care if she gets my pronouns wrong, because i know she doesn't mean it, but i don't really like it when she constantly says it's hard.

she's also asked if she needs to call me by Ari now, and i said it'd be cool but it's ok to call me by my birth name since my other name is XX, the initials of my birth name. i am planning in the future to go by another name when my friends and i are older, either Ari or some other name, but for now my birth name is ok.

but after i told her that, she said something along the lines of being relieved because it'd be really weird calling me Ari after calling me by my birth name for six years. so now i'm slightly worried what will happen in the future when i ask her to call me by another name :(

soo if anyone has advice, please comment or reblog respectfully! my friend and i are both minors fyi

[nonbinarymlm]

I’m a he/they gender-fluid person which means I’m generally cool with either he or they but sometimes I lean more toward being a they/he guy and sometimes I’m rather a they/them twink and sometimes I lean more toward being a he/it nonbinary person and occasionally I lean toward being a he/him bi butch.

[gorkaya-trava]

I'm trying voice masculinization exercises and I FEEL SO EUPHORIC IT WORKSSSSSS

[lozmxandcreates]

Really excited about this collab between myself and YouTuber Jo Chastney!

In part 1 of this 2-part heartfelt conversation on being non-binary, Jo and I share ourpersonal journeys of realising and embracing our non-binary identities. 🌈✨

Topics we cover:

- When and how we realised we were non-binary

- Our experiences with coming out as non-binary

- What being non-binary means to each of us

- How we handle being misgendered and its impact on us

Join us as we dive deep into our stories, offering insights and support for anyone exploring their own gender identity or seeking to understand more about the non-binary experience.

👉 Don't miss Part 2 of our discussion on ​⁠Jo’s channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCltBXyyMtBmBqROETNCPs9w

[goth-brushbug]

Why do we - nonbinary people always have to solicit binary people. We want to be seen and accepted as a part of gays/lesbians and achilleans/sapphics. Meanwhile, binary ppl never talk about loving us or willing to date us

Like this is genuinely pretty sad to be always left out. It's always nblw nblm not wlnb mlnb

Makes me wanna become nblnb exclusively

[villainsandvictimsalliance]

I had this dream where Achilles was just a teen living at the beach and the father was a scientist who invented a machine that helped you change forms.

It was not an accident when Achilles went inside the machine and started changing shapes. That machine had been built by a loving father with the purpose of releasing the beauty that threatened to burst his kid's body. And oh, how Achilles flew across that bruising sky among rainbow sparks chasing the trail the shapeshifting body created. There were wings and hooves, hair longer than the Earth, smiles wider than a mountain ranges. Achilles changed and changed, the body burned and burned. The features of that face were the ones of a lover, a child, the lady you passed down the street, the soldier weeping on the battlefield, the bird reaching its nest, the waves riding the wind, every surfer Achilles was friends with, every classmate, every teacher. Achilles was and was, 'til she landed in laughter and hit the arms of her father and used her boyish hands to clean the tears in her cheeks.

Do you think joy has a gender?

Achilles room had an aquarium on one wall. He liked to surf in the afternoon. If he climbed the aquarium and fell in it, the other side would be his father's lab. All the windows faced the sun and the sea. His father entered the machine a few minutes each day 'cause he wanted to look like a celebrity. They'd sit, his father showing Achilles men from magazines. I want his nose, he'd say. The father never faltered in his speech, no matter the form of his kid that day. Do you feel an adult yet, Achilles? Today are you just a little girl?

I dreamed Achilles got scared suddenly. The body returned to its caged form so fast, he reduced in weight and hidden under one of the lab tablets, Achilles cried.

Have your body ever ached with the strength required to keep all of you inside?

Have you ever felt the need to change who you are for the satisfaction of others.

Life can pressure you into your body or out of your body. I think both things are bad enough.

Some people want to gain muscle or lose weight or get bigger boobs or a straighter nose so they can correctly breathe or get a penis or change the color of their hair or get pointy ears or correct their vision or—

We are always ourselves. I am Achilles, because I don't know how to drive just like a kid, but I have my own bank account like an adult. I cry watching anime, I'm writing a thesis on linguistics. I dyed my hair, I removed my wisdom teeth, I am not my body, my body is me.

I woke up thinking "hey, the father started having fun, but soon the expectations of others and the standards strange to him pushed him on a path of self-destruction" and "although the machine is not the answer to Achilles' problems, it's the magical vehicle that gives the kid the strength to face the world and search for what he needs. Similar to a magical kiss that breaks a spell, there's real love in fairytales, so why there's wouldn't be real hope for us and our bodies?"

It's the closest I've ever been to explaining why I am agender. Where the concept should be, there is a void I don't know how to dive in. I am more than my body, my body is mine, I like my body, but it is not all there is. How do I feel?

I'm Achilles. I'm not sure there is a name for what I am or a term that can describe me (it's my first time living, you know). For now, I just want to fly in this sky and burn.

[tealime9]

something I did in 2021.

[pumpkinslinked]

So, I've just started voice training today to make myself sound more androgynous.. and we were SUPPOSED to be reading The Raven by Edgar Allan Poe, however! Due to me being nervous to read out loud in front of a ton of ppl, he allowed me to just like.. talk abt random stuff instead. And with that (Since like.. 40 other ppl were listening), my instructor straight up goes "SCREW THE RAVEN. Now tell me. How do you make a PB&J?" And that has to have been my best life experience ever, despite how anxious I was. (+ The bonus of being told to "Laugh like Goofy", and me actually failing and laughing my ass off)

[necromimetics]

can’t stop thinking about my friend’s cishet partner who said last night that he doesn’t think anyone is the same gender. god-tier take.

[kiitoskiitos]

confusing comic about existing as a trans person during confusing times of trans visibility.