#(In Which I Yell About 02 Timeline Things BECAUSE I CAN)
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~TUA Fic Recs~
for the @tuafeedbackfest !!!! there are so many amazing fics bc this fandom really is insanely talented - i wish i had the time to rec all of the ones i’ve bookmarked tbh - BUT as i don’t:: these are some of my favorites (ones i’ve read multiple times, ones that stuck with me, ones that have just a little extra.. Something??)
Amidst the Chaos by crazynadine [explicit. klave. vietnam] Ten months. Klaus spent ten months in Vietnam, fighting a war he didn't belong in, falling in love with a man he didn't deserve.The long and convoluted tale about how a time traveling junkie and a disillusioned solider found love amidst the chaos of war....
Angel of Small Death and the Codeine Scene by @obliqueoptimism [klave. vietnam] Klaus says so many horrifying things so casually, and it makes Dave worry.
Bolt from the Blue by @ancientst / TheArchaeologist [mature. parent!klaus. five as klaus’s son] When they were sixteen Klaus successfully escaped for the night, and to celebrate went to the disco with a girl he barely knew. He was young, terribly misguided, but overall the night had been amazing.He just didn't expect to have a baby dumped in his arms nine months later.
can i be the only hope for you by @dancinbutterfly [explicit. klave. vietnam] Klaus is so special the pull of him is overwhelming. Dave doesn’t think he’s strong enough to resist his gravity. He’s too powerful. And fuck it, Dave doesn’t really want to. or (How a fairly ordinary soldier falls in love with Klaus Hargeeves, superhero, time traveler, and medium)
Choirs Threaten in Voices I Only Feel by @veteranklaus [teen rating. klave. typical hargreeves family nonsense] The last time Klaus saw his siblings was at Allison and Patrick's wedding. A lot had changed since then; including the not-so-accidental, irreversible loss of his sight.There's no time to tell them that, though. Not with the return of their long-presumed-dead brother and the impending apocalypse. Plus, it doesn't matter. He's got Ben as a good seeing-eye ghost.
Eggs Benedict for Breakfast by warmhandscoldheart [mature. klave. feral!dave. protective hargreeves] In which Klaus hits his head hard enough to get retroactive amnesia, and Luther does what he thinks is best.
Everyone Gets Here Eventually by @hermitreunited [mature. klave. ghost!dave. tw discussions of suicide] In the afterlife, all it takes to be with your loved ones is for both of you to want to be together. But for some reason, Dave hasn’t been able to reunite with Klaus, so he’ll do what it takes to find him.
i’d rather lose my limb (than let you come to harm) by @bluebacchus [explicit. klave. au. chickens] How Klaus and Dave find each other in a corner of a foreign field in Flanders, 1917. (WWI AU) OR, A story of love, war, and chickens.
If Your Life Won’t Wait by queenbaskerville [teen rating. major character death. family emotions] When Klaus dies on the dance floor, God kicks him out of the afterlife. But she only kicks him out halfway.
i wore his jacket for the longest time by sharkhette [not rated. klave. tw temporary death] Klaus just wants to see Dave again, and he's willing to do whatever it takes to make that happen, no matter the cost. Includes conversations with Ben, Diego, God, a surly preacher, and gratuitous references to certain MCR songs.
Neon Groves by Livijoyann [mature. klave. vietnam] Klaus Hargreeves travels back to the Vietnam War and falls in love with Dave... and we've seen almost none of it so far. Enjoy a full following of Klaus's time in 1968 from the first kiss to the first "I love you", and ultimately, to the end (with just about everything in between).
Orange is the New Leather Skirt by Doctor959 [mature. typical hargreeves family nonsense. post-s1] A Misfits/Umbrella Academy crossover (no need to know either fandom to enjoy). The Hargreeves land by a certain community center and shit gets weird
The Light Behind A Cloud by @theseance1968 [explicit. wip. klave. vietnam] An account of Klaus’ time in Vietnam, on a diverged path where Dave survives his injuries. Flowered with opportunities, Klaus chooses to leave his old life behind and stay in the past with him. But how will his decision effect the timeline he abandoned, where his siblings continue to fight to stop the apocalypse in his absence?
The Shadows You Leave Behind by rarae [mature. brothers being brothers. tw discussions of rape and consent] The Hargreeves have stopped the apocalypse and have just returned to the real world from training Vanya in Five's weird pocket dimension. Klaus decides he needs to get some of his things to bring back to the academy and drags Diego along for the ride. They run into one of Klaus’ old ‘friends’ and shit goes down.
the war is over, we are beginning by @karturtle [teen rating. wip. klave. 2019. good brother five] The Hargreeves are slowly beginning to fix things after averting the apocalypse, but Five notices that something is still broken
Two Truths and a Lie by twosidedcoin [general. typical hargreeves family nonsense] “I want to go next,” Klaus announced, “Okay. My eyes are brown. I can see dead people, and I once offered sex to a drug lord to get out of his trunk.”Luther’s fist balled the paper into a ball as he snapped, “The point- Klaus- is to make the lie hard to guess.”Allison nudged Luther with her toe as she corrected, “His eyes are green.”
War is Hell by sauropod [explicit. klave. fix it-ish] Klaus' hands were still filthy with dried blood and muck as he fumbled at the clasps, the combination lock on the top. Desperate, blind hope had his heart going a mile a minute. The dial still read that seemingly random set of numbers it had the first time he opened it on the bus, what felt like a lifetime ago. 0213-18-02-1967“Please.” Klaus choked. “Please work.” He opened the briefcase.
Watch The Heavens (They’re Falling Down) by smile_it_will_get_better [teen rating. wip. typical hargreeves family nonsense] He reached under his pillow on reflex, and there was something there, something hard and rectangular and Five couldn’t help but pull it out.It was a package, encased in brown paper, a small tag attached to the side. Five thumbed it over, ignoring Luther’s inquiries about what it said.To Mr. Five Hargreeves, watch these if you want to survive the apocalypse.
We Only See Each Other at Arrests and Bails by icestorm238 [teen rating. brothers being brothers] aka the five times Diego picked up Klaus from the police station, and the one time Klaus picked up Diego.
Where’s Dave? by multifandom_damnation [teen rating. klaus centric. family emotions] Klaus has a flashback during family time and his siblings finally learn about all the horrific shit he's gone through, a heart to heart ensues and Diego proves how good a brother he really is. It's not a great revelation to have
Wild Eyed Boy by intheflowers [not rated. klave. slow burn. vietnam] Klaus dropped into Dave's life with a flash of blue light.It was the first time Klaus suprised him, but it was far from the last, and while at first he’d wondered if Klaus was maybe a little mad, it wasn’t long before he was certain that he really, definitely was.Not that it mattered much. Klaus had stolen his heart long before then.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ~FIC SERIES RECS~ It’s Not Living (If It’s Not With You) by @thefangirlingdead A series of moments between Klaus and Dave, during and post-season one. Definitely a fix-it universe dedicated to giving Klaus the happiness and love he deserves. Hope There’s Someone (Who Will Take Care of Me) by @siriuspiggyback baby that’s just how i am by princex_N He's the only one who tries to get used to it, because what other choice does he have? The others still wait, still ask when he'll be done playing around, still yell at him for being annoying, but no one seems to stop and realize that there's nothing he can do about it.Klaus gets used to it, but he's the only one who does.
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all pain, all smiles, became a magnificent tale (1)
Word count: 5580
Summary: Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji are both too aware of their feelings, but it is never the right time. / CQL 'verse
Note: AO3 link. Canon compliant, retelling of CQL with huge pining from the start. Elements like controlling corpses will be taken from the novel/donghua but the timeline and characterization are all CQL.
01.
The rumors and stories about the Twin Jades being as beautiful as the moon and as graceful as the wind didn't lie. The concept of beauty is one that Wei Wuxian understands on all levels—if something is pretty, then why not appreciate it and say it out loud? Compliments also have the benefit of making people happy.
Most people, anyway.
“Second Master Lan, you're really incredible!” he laughs. “Handsome and skilled? So many girls would swoon if they had a glimpse of such an amazing sight.”
Lan Wangji's grip on his sword tightens and his gaze seems to convey all the contempt towards Wei Wuxian that is currently boiling in his blood, and it doesn't stray away from the jar of Emperor's Smile that Wei Wuxian is protectively keeping against his side. It's almost comical, to see two people standing on a rooftop well after curfew, in such a strict and rule-abiding place like the Cloud Recesses; Wei Wuxian just set foot inside today and he already feels it will be a long year.
He props up his leg and carelessly uncaps the jar, sporting an amused smile.
“But once they realize how cold and inflexible you are, they'd run away!”
He takes a long sip of the alcohol, suddenly feeling extremely entertained by Lan Wangji's quiet outrage. It's kind of impressive Lan Wangji can say so much with his eyes alone—never mind silencing people with a spell, his gaze does the job perfectly. Wei Wuxian has seen different shapes of eyes in the past, but even if Lan Wangji's are small, there is an intensity in those clear and gorgeous eyes that makes him unable to look away. He could give orders or convey an entire message with one look.
Wei Wuxian tilts his head, playing with his jar of alcohol and jostling its content. “That's right, you're unreasonable and rigid, but it doesn't matter. Once I return to Yunmeng—mhh?!”
As Wei Wuxian chases after him to cancel the spell, he believes that Lan Wangji really needs to do something about his awful personality.
02.
Jiang Cheng tells him that he's ridiculous and stupid for wanting to catch Lan Wangji's attention whenever he sees him, but in all honesty, if Lan Wangji truly hated him, would he still respond to his calls?
“Ji-xiong!”
Wei Wuxian enthusiastically waves his hands, never missing the way Lan Wangji's face closes at his sight, like an invisible spirit forcefully makes him narrow his eyes and exude an untouchable aura. It's kind of cool, actually.
“Do you want to get punished or what?” Jiang Cheng hisses, pinching his side, while Nie Huaisang attempts to conceal his entire body behind his fan.
Wei Wuxian keeps smiling and waving, until Lan Wangji turns on his heels and ignores him, once again. The white robes are fluttering in the wind and his silhouette is as graceful as always, although his steps seem to be a bit stiffer. Must have been slightly more irritated than usual.
It's really, really fun.
03.
He wouldn't say there is a spark, or an explosion of stars, but he does feel something pleasant settling in his stomach when Suibian clashes with Bichen as he carefully moves on the cliff. He didn't realize who he was fighting at the beginning, but once he took in the immaculate robes and the impassive face his lips curl upwards in a mischievous grin.
“Ji-xiong, that's you! Wow, you really are skilled.”
He quickly unsheathes Suibian, gaze still trained on Lan Wangji's that stares down at him like he said the most absurd thing in existence. He's used to it, now, so it doesn't dampen his mood, it even lifts his spirits a little bit (it's always a delight to see the Second Jade, despite his ignoring). Wei Wuxian takes his time to admire the fine and delicate traits on Lan Wangji's face, which he probably will never tire of; he thinks about the stories and the female disciples gossiping, and he chuckles at the thought he's possibly the only one who gets to see him so up close. The waterfall and the green of the trees frame this face gently, making him look like a painting.
“I'm telling you a secret,” Wei Wuxian whispers, taking careful steps towards the other man. “I'm not the only one who wanders in the back of the Cloud Recesses, do you think it has anything to do with the spiritual consciousness stealing—hey!”
For someone so proper Lan Wangji doesn't hold back as he grabs Wei Wuxian's wrist and drags him all the way to the Library Pavilion, deaf to his burden's whines and complains that can be heard all over the Cloud Recesses.
Spending so much time in his company would have killed anyone of boredom, but Wei Wuxian managed to distract himself from his punishment by staring at Lan Wangji. In-between two lines of copying he looks up and stares at his companion, who sits still like a statue, diligently learning from books he's probably already read. Wei Wuxian ends up doodling rabbits, jars of alcohol and clouds in the corners of his papers, then decides it would be a waste not to exploit the infinite source of inspiration standing right in front of him.
Lan Wangji doesn't react at the portrait of himself.
“Come on, you must have something to say except for ‘boring’ and ‘pathetic’. Lan Wangji? Ji-xiong? Wangji-xiong?” And then, overtaken by sudden bravery, “Lan Zhan!”
Hearing his birth name shouted so casually draws a whole new expression on his face that Wei Wuxian can't decipher. He frowns.
“You didn't answer when I called you Wangji, so I called you Lan Zhan. You can call me Wei Ying if you want.”
He offers him his biggest grin for good measure, gleefully basking in the Second Jade's disbelief at such boldness.
Thinking back, he was already spending too much energy and time to commit to memory someone that was only supposed to be entertainment.
04.
“Lan Zhan, give me back my alcohol!”
So maybe he shouldn't prance around and being noisy with a jar of alcohol in hands, which break three of Gusu Lan's rules, but they're not in the Cloud Recesses and he is only trying to help a case during a nighthunt. What's wrong with speculating and attempting to dig up clues in the wildest theories? Discoveries are made because people are curious; Wei Wuxian would be very much surprised if none of his ideas turns out to be right. And in any case, Lan Zhan had no right to dump his alcohol!
He chases after him, ignoring Jiang Cheng's yells, and grabs Lan Zhan's shoulder. There are many cultivators trailing behind them, but Lan Zhan doesn't seem to care since he stops dead in his tracks and turns his head without uttering a word, like a warning. Wei Wuxian presses his lips together and slowly releases his shoulder, the loss of contact freezing his body with disappointment.
“Lan Zhan, why are you looking at me like this? You look more mad than me, and you dumped my alcohol. I should be the one feeling wronged.”
“I dislike physical contact,” Lan Zhan states firmly. “Stop fooling around. We are on a nighthunt.”
“Yes, yes, Second Master Lan, so professional...”
Lan Zhan sends him one last glare before walking away, and Wei Wuxian is left staring at his back, wondering why talking to Lan Zhan feels as frustrating as exciting. A voice sounding suspiciously like Jiang Cheng tells him that he's stupid.
“You're stupid or what? Stop bothering him.” Jiang Cheng snorts next to him, and Wei Wuxian groans.
“I wasn't even doing anything!”
Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes and urges him to follow the Twin Jades.
05.
When Lan Zhan lands on his boat, he expects a reprimand, but he simply gets an inquisitive look, albeit mildly annoyed.
“I didn't splash you on purpose, those ghouls are smart so I had to find something not to alert them. Are you recognizing I'm not completely useless?” Wei Wuxian asks with a smirk, delighted by Lan Zhan's lack of criticism.
Confident and reinvigorated after showing he's at least half serious about this case, Wei Wuxian takes a few steps forward and peers at Lan Zhan's face, smiling at his reddened ears and his inability to look him in the eyes.
“Stay away,” Lan Zhan snaps, gaze fixed on the water.
Wei Wuxian pouts but complies, seeing that he won't get much entertainment if Lan Zhan is focused on fulfilling this mission, especially with the other cultivators and their brothers around.
They take care of the waterborne abyss easily enough, if Wei Wuxian doesn't take into account their almost death. He would have much preferred being grabbed by the arm instead of his collar, but that's asking too much from someone who stated only minutes ago that touching people is absolutely out of the question.
“We're already so close, touching even my arm wouldn't be too bad, right?”
“We are not close.”
These words, more than anything, drive a knife into Wei Wuxian's guts. Lan Zhan's tone hasn't shifted from his usual monotone one, but his clipped words and adamant refusal to so much as look at Wei Wuxian, even as they're speaking, unload a new uncertainty in his mind.
On the way back to the Cloud Recesses, after offering loquats and failing at making Lan Zhan look at him again, he comes to the realization that when he does get Lan Zhan's attention, it brings him immense joy.
06.
“Lan Zhan, your forehead ribbon is crooked.”
Wei Wuxian's thoughts flicker for the briefest moment, imagining Lan Zhan's wife tying the ribbon around his head every morning, as ridiculous as it is. That rule of Gusu Lan sect is among the most bemusing ones, dictating a way of living that seems pretty extreme. Can a simple piece of cloth be that important to someone? Wei Wuxian discards the knowledge altogether (like most of the other rules he's copied) when the conversation turns to the topic of family. In that instant, he feels there is a special understanding that passes between them; there is a longing and sadness that Wei Wuxian has long tucked in a corner of his mind, far away from the thoughts that make him go through the day as seamlessly as possible.
Wei Wuxian has the fleeting suspicion that maybe, Lan Zhan doesn't like showing his emotions because there are too many of them inside his heart. It took a few weeks and a cup of alcohol to start unearthing the mystery that is the Second Jade, who looks as vulnerable as anyone else in his current drunkenness. His carved beauty remains, but he looks less unattainable. Wei Wuxian smiles, a sudden warmth spreading in his body as he lifts his jar of Emperor's Smile.
“A toast to us, who found companionship in unexpected misfortune. Let's drink while we still can, alright?”
He downs the jar in one go, knowing full well they won't share another drink together.
07.
Wei Wuxian's respect for Lan Zhan shoots up when he realizes he's taking the punishment without the slightest twitch, but it also confirms that he is a madman.
“Who willingly gets punished like that?”
Lan Zhan barely acknowledges his presence, focused on the rulers that beat and cut into his back. It's surprising Wei Wuxian doesn't forget his own pain while staring at Lan Zhan's impassive face that is almost a model to follow.
“The Cold Spring will relieve your pain,” Zewu-jun says when he meets him, a soft but knowing smile on his face.
Wei Wuxian has no idea why Zewu-jun is showing so much kindness towards him, but he won't refuse help. Even if Shijie tells him to take it easy, he runs as fast as he can despite of the stinging to the Cold Spring. He absolutely doesn't expect the person already inside the water, back turned to him with his hair spread at the surface. Wei Wuxian pushes down the astonishment and the onslaught of eagerness that pools in his stomach, blinking once then twice before leaning against a bamboo tree and grinning.
“Lan Zhan, were you going to keep this place all to yourself?”
Lan Zhan doesn't startle, but it's a near thing as he hastily pulls on his robes, unconcerned about making them wet, then glares at Wei Wuxian.
“Do not come closer,” he hisses.
The events in Caiyi city with their hurting words are all but forgotten, even if the similar situation plants a seed of doubt for a second before going away. However, Lan Zhan should know by now that Wei Wuxian doesn't follow orders, and finds pleasure in doing the opposite of what he's told—and even more so when it involves Lan Zhan.
“Come on, I told you we're already so close, why are you so distant?”
Wei Wuxian proceeds to take off his boots and gets into the spring, shivering at its low temperature, and makes his way towards Lan Zhan. He never stops grinning, feeling he shouldn’t think too much about the situation, and his amusement increases tenfold as he notices the tips of Lan Zhan's ears reddening (it's quite an occurrence, certainly because he's unused to physical proximity, and that's kind of adorable).
“Admittedly you're harsh and sometimes boring, but we've sparred and we're evenly matched, so I honestly think we can become friends!” Wei Wuxian extends Suibian, remembering that Lan Zhan dislikes touching people. “I mean, that's the first step of any relationship, right?”
There is something incredibly wild in Lan Zhan's gaze when he looks at him, like he's trying to discover what sort of nonsense is hiding behind his words. It's not the disdain and wariness that usually underlie his unspoken words, it's more disbelieving and, if Wei Wuxian reads it right, with a tinge of fear. He blinks, then tilts his head.
“I know you don't really like me, but becoming my friend can't be that bad? Lan Zhan, you're hurting my feelings!”
He lowers Suibian and crosses his arms over his chest, wondering. Lan Zhan is clearly lost in thoughts if he isn't reacting to his teasing, which shouldn't be as concerning as Wei Wuxian feels it is.
“Look, if you become my friend...I will pick lotus seeds for you when you come to Yunmeng!” He gets closer to Lan Zhan, who surprisingly doesn't step away and simply eyes him with his unchanging attentive gaze. “Yunmeng is fun, we have a lot of food, and rivers to cross. Come visit!”
“I will not go,” Lan Zhan finally replies.
Wei Wuxian sucks in a breath. “Fine, killjoy. I'll eat lotus seeds on a boat all by my lonesome.”
He tries not to think too much about this rejection since he should have anticipated the cold answer, but it still stings. He's just trying to be nice. He huffs, and deciding that he should as well enjoy the spring, he starts fiddling with his robes to shrug them off. This mere action calls for Lan Zhan's fastest reaction so far, eyes wide.
“What are you doing?!”
“Taking off my clothes to heal, obviously.” Wei Wuxian smiles, laughing at Lan Zhan's scandalized face. “What, is undressing in front of other people forbidden too?”
Perhaps he's said the wrong thing again, because Lan Zhan seems determined to leave the spring, and Wei Wuxian backtracks immediately.
“Wait, wait, don't leave! I'm keeping my clothes on, okay?”
Lan Zhan stands a few feet away from him, and if he wasn't so stiff and upright, Wei Wuxian wouldn't have noticed the way his fists are trembling, clasped behind his back. Is he really that upset about the situation?
Wei Wuxian doesn't have the time to ponder on the question as a burst of a strange energy hits him. He surveys his surroundings, eyes narrowed; something is clearly off but he can't pinpoint its origin.
“Lan Zhan, there's something strange here.”
As soon as the words leave his mouth, he gets dragged underwater.
08.
Whoever invented such a complex and ingenious spell that recognizes specific people based on an item is admirable but also extremely bothersome in their current predicament.
Swallowing water and spending the next minutes sputtering isn’t fun, dodging the attacks of an ancient guqin is even less so. Wei Wuxian is ready to do anything to get out of this cave alive and unscattered, but when he yells for Lan Zhan’s forehead ribbon, he truly didn’t expect Lan Zhan to comply to his order without a word.
It’s absolutely astounding. He stares at the ribbon that’s binding them together like it’s a foreign object, then lifts his gaze to meet Lan Zhan’s. Wei Wuxian has an inkling of what makes his heart so light yet so heavy, having Lan Zhan willingly stand so close to him when he vehemently objected to it earlier. It’s maddening to keep these feelings at bay, letting them take a form of their own without the means to control or even understand them.
He did not mean to stare, but Lan Zhan quickly averts his eyes and tugs him forward. Wei Wuxian follows silently, the lull of the water the only sound his ears are registering. It feels inexplicably intimate to simply have a strip of cloth tying their wrists together, considering how attached the Lan family is to the ribbon. He doesn’t dare saying anything for fear of breaking whatever spell they’re currently under.
Instead, he takes a deep breath and lets his actions speak for himself, as usual. He gets scolded for wanting to approach the sacred guqin, is glared at for misbehaving, and suddenly he’s breathing easier, gradually forgetting what he was so agitated about in the first place.
The oath they pledge to stop evil from spreading makes his core vibrate with anticipation and his heart sing.
08.5.
His entire body is set aflame when there is contact of skin against skin, his face mere centimeters away from Lan Zhan’s, and he tries to contain his shock and bubbling panic by laughing, even if it sounds awkward to his ears.
“You can’t say we’re not close, after that.”
“Get off me.”
The arrival of Jiang Cheng and Wen Qing, staring at them in disbelief, also prompts Wei Wuxian to scramble up with energy before he further digs his own grave. He quickly unties the ribbon, not paying attention to the stillness of Lan Zhan’s hand or the way everyone is looking at him. It’s a miracle he can string two sentences together to explain what happened with his heartbeat thundering and the distinct sensation of Lan Zhan boring holes in his neck, but when he looks at his face, somehow he finds less anger than expected. In the crease of Lan Zhan’s eyebrows and his lips pressed downward, he finds instead an uneasiness that is almost painful to look at; and in these clear eyes, Wei Wuxian doesn’t let himself see hope.
09.
“It seems that the events in Caiyi and the spiritual consciousness stealing are related after all, Wangji.”
It’s becoming harder to hide his excitement whenever Lan Zhan says or does something surprising, and in this case, Wei Wuxian thinks it deserves a proper reaction.
“You told Zewu-jun about my theories? You really are my confidant, huh?”
From the corner of his eye he notices Lan Xichen smiling at his comment, and he could have chosen to pretend he didn’t, but it’s such a rare opportunity to shamelessly tease Lan Zhan for something that’s not out of Wei Wuxian’s imagination. It fills him with so much joy and satisfaction to know he has at least his trust.
“I’m sure we can solve great mysteries together,” he offers pleasantly. “You don’t even need to talk, we understand each other already pretty well! And we seem to both value righteousness a lot, considering what we said to Ancestor Lan Yi. Aren’t we a perfect match?”
He nudges Lan Zhan in the side with his elbow, grinning from ear to ear. Nothing he said is false, which is all the more exhilarating. He might be cheesy, but he sincerely thinks there is a connection he can form with that boy that doesn’t speak more than four words to him but still puts up with his antics and listens to what he says, however relevant or stupid the topic is. Calling him a confidant is well-deserved and shows just how much effort Wei Wuxian is willing to put in this bond—it’s well-deserved but it feels more than that.
“Do not be ridiculous,” Lan Zhan mutters, turning his head his way but not meeting his eyes. “This Yin iron issue is not to be trivialized.”
“I’m not trivializing it! I mean it, we’d work well together, and our cultivation level is similar. You should be honored to be offered this chance to work with the great Wei Wuxian!”
Wei Wuxian hits his chest once with the hand holding Suibian, an easy smile accompanying his words that are immediately met with the usual unimpressed stare. Given the lack of rebuttal, in the Second Jade’s language, it’s a positive response.
“Focus,” he simply says.
Wei Wuxian’s heart soars.
09.5.
“A-Xian, you are good friends with the Second Master Lan.”
Wei Wuxian coughs. “Do you think so? It’s not like he often talks to me.”
Jiang Yanli’s smile could make flowers bloom with how gentle it is. “That’s true, but the two of you seem to understand each other better than most. It has only been a few months and you know him very well, it’s rare for people to be so close in a short time.” She squeezes his arm, still as soothing as always. “Treasure this kind of encounters and relationships.”
Wei Wuxian has no idea how to react to his shijie’s words, but they lift his spirits considerably.
10.
“Is this some kind of tradition?”
“I guess so, the other Lan disciples were saying it helps us keeping our mind stable. You’re making a promise to yourself or something.”
“So it’s just a simple wish, then?”
Jiang Cheng shrugs, not that much interested in the specifics of the release of the lantern, and Wei Wuxian isn’t surprised; being the Jiang sect heir has drilled him into thinking ahead long ago, and to always pursue the goals he’s set for himself. Securing the future and protecting the sect—that’s what he ought to do, and what he wishes for, with no need to verbalize it.
Wei Wuxian wishes for something else. There is no doubt he wishes for the prosperity of the sect that took him in, but there is another wish that lies under it, stronger but quieter. He hums to himself as they climb the hill where they are to gather, his lips curled upwards as giddiness fuels every one of his step.
As soon as he has all the materials needed in hand, he leaves Jiang Cheng’s side and drops everything next to Lan Zhan’s. He gets comfortable and starts working on his lantern, ignoring the way his companion is looking at him with most certainly confusion, even if it doesn’t show on his face.
“Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, do you often make lanterns like this? With Jiang Cheng and Shijie we like to make them during festivals, and we let the disciples decide which one between mine and Jiang Cheng’s is the best. Guess who always wins!”
He doesn’t actually expect a reply to his question, he’s only filling the silence like he always does whenever he’s with Lan Zhan. His presence makes him warm and more eager to share whatever thought is crossing his mind, as if filters don’t exist and he’s free to rveal every aspect of his personality. He can literally hear Jiang Cheng’s disapproval.
Wei Wuxian is happy, when he is with Lan Zhan.
The Second Jade ever so slightly glances his way, hands poised on his own lantern tracing delicate characters. His shoulders aren’t tense and he seems content, like he’s really enjoying his time despite the noise surrounding them.
“I would not know,” he says plainly.
“That was a rhetorical question, of course I’m the best!” Wei Wuxian laughs, and finally lifts his head to look at Lan Zhan’s face.
His heart skips a beat when he finds clear eyes directly looking at his. But the moment vanishes as if it didn’t occur and Lan Zhan resumes his writing, a flush spreading over his cheeks and ears, which is completely unexpected and Wei Wuxian feels his own face heat up at this sight. The implication behind what just transpired would have gone unnoticed to his admittedly blind eyes were it not for the fact he’s already entertained some ideas of his own feelings for a while, now.
It’s scary, to think about the what-ifs and the would-bes, though he feels there is a right time for everything. There always is.
With renewed vigor and satisfaction, he keeps painting his lantern, every one of his strokes assured and precise, aiming at pleasing.
“Look Lan Zhan, I drew rabbits for you.”
Lan Zhan has been steadily more willing to look at whatever Wei Wuxian is pointing at without being coerced into it (he has been observing). And it’s only because Wei Wuxian is on the lookout for any changes that he catches the shift of his expressions so easily.
“You smiled!” he exclaims gleefully, leaning forward to get a good look at this smile.
Lan Zhan’s expression immediately schools back into one of indifference, although his eyes are still telling another story.
“Ridiculous.”
Wei Wuxian grins. “Don’t be like that, I know you like it!” And with a burst of adrenaline and impulsiveness, he says: “Since we risked our lives together, let’s release the lantern together.”
Oh, he knows what people are saying; they’re impatiently waiting for Shijie and Jin Zixuan to release their lantern as a sign of love, the gesture seen as one of the most romantic to exist. Wei Wuxian doesn’t care about the peacock and the so-called romanticism, but he does admit that touching the lantern and letting it fly up, with someone, renders their wish more concrete, more valued; a silent witness to this private moment.
To say that Lan Zhan is shocked would be an understatement, and it would have been amusing if the situation was a bit less intimate.
“Never mind, I was joking,” Wei Wuxian backtracks, averting his eyes.
“No. I will do it.”
Lan Zhan reaches for the lantern, careful not to wrinkle it, and when their eyes meet Wei Wuxian thinks he’s found a whole new purpose in life. There is unparalleled determination and fervor, naked and genuine, unable to deceive whoever getting a glimpse of them. It’s beautiful.
The curve of his lips is gentle. “Okay.”
The world is reduced to the two of them, working on the lantern without a word. Wei Wuxian sometimes glances in Lan Zhan’s direction and is delighted to see how at ease he seems in his company; there is tranquillity that calms his mind and brings him comfort. Wei Wuxian can’t afford to voice his thoughts about the warmth and the elation that pool in his stomach, but he can still accept them and decide what to do later, when the right time comes.
He misses every look Lan Zhan casts him.
Wei Wuxian lights the fire, fingers firmly grasping the edge of the lantern. Their hands aren’t touching but Wei Wuxian feels his fingertips ever so slightly get warmer as they wait for everyone to get ready. He shows none of his turmoil as he brightly smiles at Lan Zhan, who oddly contemplates their work, something akin to satisfaction written on his face.
“Looks like we can really accomplish something when we do it together, doesn’t it?”
Lan Zhan looks up, gaze fixed on Wei Wuxian, but doesn’t answer. There is no small nod or word of acknowledgment, but the way he gets a better grip on the lantern is enough for Wei Wuxian.
They release it in the sky. A white dot joining many others, soon to be lost in the vast and infinite blue. Wei Wuxian’s gaze follows the lantern drifting away; he has been part of many events and has produced many lanterns, but this one irrevocably stirs something deep inside him. He’s choking on a wish that’s as much as a promise. He clasps his hands together and closes his eyes.
“I, Wei Wuxian, wish to stand by justice and righteousness. I wish to live a life free of regrets with a clear conscience.”
A full life—that’s what he wishes for most ardently, and he will endeavor to live by it. When he opens his eyes and turns his head, Lan Zhan is looking at him with a complicated face, like he is unsure he’s allowed to show vulnerability in front of others. Wei Wuxian’s heart swells at the sight, and he softly smiles.
“The words were hard to find, but I think I did good,” he jokes.
Wei Wuxian knocks his shoulder against Lan Zhan’s without thinking, remembering too late about his dislike of physical contact, but he doesn’t get rebuked or shoved away. He blinks at Lan Zhan, and when he opens his mouth to apologize, Lan Zhan looks up.
“I, Lan Wangji, wish to stand by justice and righteousness. I wish to live a life free of regrets with a clear conscience.”
He turns his attention back on Wei Wuxian, who stares at him in wonder. It’s startling and unexpected, but absolutely not unpleasing; words have such a way to don devotion once they are pronounced by someone cherished. Wei Wuxian can’t help but laugh, shaking his head.
“You never cease to amaze me, Lan Zhan. I’m happy to hear you approve of my wish.”
Lan Zhan offers a nod. “You know what you want, Wei Ying.”
Wei Wuxian pauses, chewing on his lips. He gazes at the sky while he gathers his thoughts, surprised by how unprepared he was to that statement. He lets out a chuckle, nervous on its edges but cheerful enough to be convincing.
“Yeah, it’s important to know what we want.”
He wants a lot of things—becoming strong, eating delicious food and drinking exquisite alcohol—and some of them require effort and perseverance to be obtained. He won’t disappoint as the head disciple of Yunmeng Jiang sect; he won’t let injustice dictate his actions.
Wanting Lan Zhan’s attention and wanting something else completely from him aren’t under his control. So he keeps smiling, under Lan Zhan’s observant eyes.
“Some things are just harder to get, you know?”
“Mn. I suppose so.”
Wei Wuxian swallows the thickness in his throat as he hears familiar longing in this deep voice, but his eyes never betray and he doesn’t know what Lan Zhan sees when he looks at them. Something unrestrained flashes on Lan Zhan’s face and hope flares again in Wei Wuxian’s heart.
11.
It’s cute and almost a relief when Lan Zhan stops by and attempts to comfort him when he’s not feeling bad at all. Jin Zixuan only reaped what he sowed and Wei Wuxian would have liked to land another punch or two to make sure the message got across.
“You are ridiculous,” Lan Zhan scolds him when he sees the ants Wei Wuxian is observing on a stick.
“Yes, yes, I’m ridiculous,” Wei Wuxian chuckles, waving the stick around. “Wait Lan Zhan, don’t leave, don’t leave!”
Lan Zhan aborts his step when he’s called, looking quite flustered after his display of hidden concern, but Wei Wuxian is for once sparing him of his teasing as he stands up. The reprimand immediately comes.
“You should be kneeling.”
“I know, but I don’t fancy kneeling in front of a rock when I want to talk to you,” Wei Wuxian explains with a smile.
Lan Zhan’s eyes are beautiful. He’s described as cold and unwavering, indifferent to everything happening around him, but this is clearly wrong. He might not be as expressive as most, but his eyes are the window of his soul, and right now Wei Wuxian is certain they are softening, just like when he saw the rabbits on the lantern. It’s subtle, it’s quick, but Wei Wuxian still noticed it.
“Thank you for releasing the lantern with me,” he says warmly. “That means a lot to me. Really.”
He doesn’t feel much embarrassment for saying it out loud, but it does tickle his stomach and make his face burn, just a little, and seeing as Lan Zhan is pressing his lips together he probably caught the sincerity of the words.
“There is no need to thank me.” He pauses, slightly shaking his head. “It is what I wanted.”
Wei Wuxian beams. “I’m glad.”
“Try not to be too reckless next time.”
“Ha, no promises this time!”
There is a sliver of exasperation on Lan Zhan’s face, though he doesn’t pick up on Wei Wuxian’s comment and simply walks away, most likely not wishing to be seen conversing with someone who is supposed to think over his actions. It’s already quite a feat they exchanged so many words in such a short time.
Wei Wuxian kneels again, a grin on his face playing with the ants until Uncle Jiang arrives and discusses with Lan Qiren and Jin Guangshan.
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Tempting || 10
Y/N is an angel and a good one at that. She steers clear of the seven deadly sins, especially lust. She is out performing her duties when she runs into a demon. Luckily for her, that demon, Taehyung, doesn’t seem to buy into that whole “Angels and Demons are sworn enemies” idea. But unluckily for her, Taehyung just so happens to be the very embodiment of sin. Especially lust.
Or, “For someone who is meant to be so pure, you sure are dirty, angel.”
pairing: demon!taehyung x angel!reader
genre: fantasy, smut, angst
warnings: alcohol use, mentions of suicide/death, lots of dirty talk and smut lol
A/N: this is less biblical and more supernatural?? Like less focus on religion itself and more focus on angels and demons as immortal creatures even though I might reference some “biblical” terms lol sorry this is too unholy anyways it’s fine. oh and this is a dream I had!
CHAPTERS: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 (final)
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CHAPTER TEN (THIS CHAPTER IS ACTUALLY EDITED FOR ONCE and this chapter is dedicated to @timeline-comics who helped me with the plot <3)
I woke up to the feeling of goose bumps running up and down my skin.
The source of temperature-induced discomfort was quickly pinpointed, as I opened my eyes to see Taehyung's arm and leg tightly wrapped around me, pressing me into his chest.
His hot breath pressed against the crook of my neck, where his sleeping head had taken purchase. The rest of Taehyung, however, remained cool to the touch.
Angels naturally gravitated towards warm things; both physically, such as sunlight, and figuratively, like love.
How odd that I would find warmth in a demon.
I shifted my body away from the cool-skinned boy with a whine. My covers had somehow ended up by my feet and I wanted desperately to retrieve them.
Taehyung let out a groan of protest but let go of me.
I sat up, pausing for a moment as I took in the soreness that lay in-between my legs.
“Morning.” A tired groggy voice called out from beside me.
I turned over to look over at Taehyung, who was staring at me through hooded eyelids, clearly more than willing to go back to bed.
“Good morning.” I smiled at him, my heart swelling at the sight of the sleepy form of the boy I loved so much. He gave me a lazy smile before shutting his eyes once more.
I turned back towards the front of my bed and reached over to pull my covers back over Taehyung and I.
Immediately, Taehyung threw his arms around me, pulling me back into his chest.
I turned over in his grip so that I could face him. Taehyung was awake once more, an odd look on his face.
“How are you?” He asked, nervously.
“I’m well, and yourself?”
Taehyung rolled his eyes and brought up a hand to flick the tip of my nose, causing me to exclaim in laughter.
“I mean how are you feeling? After your first fuck and stuff.”
“God, you really do have a way with words.” I sighed at the crude boy, rubbing the sleep from my eyes.
“I’m fine. Just a little sore, I suppose.” I told him with a hum, admiring how the morning sun that seeped into my room fell on his handsome face.
“That’s good.” He sighed happily before sending me a small smile. I could feel myself blush lightly as I smiled back at him.
I couldn’t believe I slept with Taehyung. Having Taehyung pressed against me and holding me like he did last night felt wonderful. Along with the other things he did, of course.
“So... you up for round two?” Taehyung smirked, the question clearly having had been on his tongue since the moment he first regained consciousness.
I laughed and rolled my eyes, pressing my mouth against his. Thankfully, Taehyung let the kiss remain soft, just moving his lips slowly against mine.
Pulling away, I sighed, “You need to go.”
Taehyung scoffed sarcastically, “What am I? Some sort of one night stand you have to kick out?”
“Yes.” I told him, getting up to get out of bed.
I was in some sort of blissed out high right now, still glowing from last nights effects. As much as I wanted to lay in bed with Taehyung for the rest of time, the last thing I needed was for one of my roommates to walk in and see a demon in my bed. Besides, I had to take a shower and clean all my sheets.
“Wow, love you too.” Taehyung grumbled, moving to get out of bed as well.
I knew he had said it sarcastically, but the fact that he had said it at all still left my cheeks red and smiling.
“Wait, pull your shirt up, angel.”
My smile quickly faded as I sent a scowl his way instead.
“No, I said no round two.” I scolded him which just caused him to roll his eyes.
“Angel.” Was all he said as he took a step towards me before lifting my shirt up and over my bare chest.
I squeaked out in protest, throwing my hands over my breasts to cover them.
Taehyung let out a deep laugh, his voice still recovering from having just had woken up.
“Lemme see.” He back me into my bed. I fell back involuntarily and Taehyung took that as his opportunity to pry my hands off of myself.
“Pretty.” He breathed once he had successfully held my hands away from myself.
With a final extersion of energy, I pulled my hands out of his grip and yanked my shirt back down, sending him a frown. I shoved him away from me.
What on earth was wrong with him?
“You pervert!” I accused, crossing my arms over my chest, in case he tried to pull another stunt like that again.
“Shut up, you love me.” Taehyung stated with a cocky smirk that I wanted to wipe off him so badly.
“Go away.”
Taehyung’s smirk was replace with a sad pout, “Say you love me, angel.”
I blushed at the sudden request, caught off guard.
“I love you.” I told him earnestly.
In response, Taehyung just stared at me, before clearing his throat.
“This is gonna sound so stupid but... I think I’ve always had love inside me. It’s like, it’s always been there, but it wasn’t until I met you that I began to feel it. Does that make sense? Without you, I would’ve never known who I was. And the fact that I’m someone that you say you love back is something I’ll never be able to wrap my head around. I don’t deserve you but I’m so fucking happy that I have you because I love you, Y/N. More than you know.”
I sat in front of Taehyung, doe-eyed at his sudden impromptu confession. Taehyung’s cheeks grew pink, as if he wasn’t aware of what he was saying until he had said it.
“I– Fuck, that was cheesy, I’m sorry.” Taehyung laughed nervously, his hand reaching up to rub the back of his neck.
It was moments like these that made me sometimes wonder if we were both in over our heads. We were in this too deep at this point, and I couldn’t leave Taehyung if I wanted to. It scared me.
“I love cheesy.” I assured him, my smile wide. Taehyung gave me a relieved grin.
“Come over this afternoon. We can watch some of Jin’s human movies that he has given to us. We could also make some pizza. Or, if all that sounds lame, I can always just eat you out until the sun comes up.”
I let out a surprise laugh, my face immediately heating up, “Oh, God. Is there an all of the above option?”
“Come over this afternoon and find out.” He taunted with a smirk and raise of an eyebrow.
He made his way to my window, starting to leave.
“Don’t forget to do your angel magic and wear some Purgy eyes in case Jungkook is home.” Taehyung called out with a final wave before jumping out of my window and into the day.
I sighed. I didn’t think stealing yet another essence suppressor was going to sit well with my fellow roommates. In fact, I should probably apologize to all of them for the scene I created the other day.
Walking in my bathroom, I decide to shower before doing anything else. Laundry and repenting would have to happen after I was clean.
I stood in front of my mirror as I peeled off my shirt. I let out a small gasp at my reflection.
My breasts were littered with purple bruises, some small and others that bled into one another. So this is what Taehyung was looking at. The memory of how I had permitted Taehyung to mark up my chest ran through my head.
Imagine if I have caved in and let him have his way with my neck.
I sighed at the sight.
Odd how something that looked so bad had felt so good.
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“– I just really wanted to apologize for how I spoke to all of you the other day. I lied to you about taking the essence suppressor. You were completely justified in asking me about it. I’m sorry.” I finished, my head bowed slightly.
I had walked downstairs, my hands full of my bed sheets, when I saw Hobi and Namjoon sitting at the table, eating breakfast. They both looked at me quickly before going back to whatever it was they were doing. In Namjoon’s case, it was reading a book he had laid out in front of him, and in Hobi’s it was demolishing his meal.
Setting my sheets to wash, I knew I had to say something. Things were awkward and tense in this household and it was entirely my fault. So I made my way up to the table and began to seek forgiveness.
“Y/N, I forgave you the moment you angrily marched up the stairs away from us. You know I can’t stay mad at you.” Hobi reassured me with a small smile.
“I can.” Namjoon reminded, his eyes fixated on his book.
I felt myself cringe at his words, “I’m sorry for yelling at you Namjoon, I was out of line. Please forgive me.”
Namjoon raised an eyebrow before lifting his eyes up to look at me. He gauged my sincerity for a moment before sending me a dimpled smile.
“Of course I forgive you. It’s your job as our sister to test my patience, I guess.”
“Sister?” I said, tilting my head in confusion.
“Yeah. You’re like a little sister of sorts. And the rest of the boys are my brothers. We’re a family, Y/N. Families fight. But they also forgive. Now sit. Eat.” Namjoon said, nudging his plate of toast my way. I sat in the seat in between Namjoon and Hobi, happy to have my boys back.
“Where’s Jimin, by the way?” I asked casually as I munched on my toast. The boys normally all ate breakfast together in the morning.
“He left extra early today. He must be pretty busy because he seemed like he was in a rush to get to the park.” Hobi informed me.
“Yeah, he came home last night pretty late and he seemed absolutely drained. He looked upset as well.” Namjoon added before turning his attention back to his book.
“We should all go to Limbo again! Take a much needed break.” Hobi announced excitedly.
“I’m down!” I agreed eagerly. Maybe I could plan it so that Taehyung went that night as well. If I planned it right, I could spent half the night with the boys and half the night with Taehyung.
Speaking of Taehyung...
“Hey so, I actually need a essence suppressor for tonight.” I said, turning towards Hobi, trying to look as casual as I could.
“Oh, are you going to Limbo?” Hobi inquired, with a raise of an eyebrow.
“Yeah... another angel I met last time told me she was going tonight and asked me if I would join her.” I lied through my teeth. I had just apologized for lying yet here I was once again. It was beginning to worry me how good at it I was becoming.
“Oh, who?” Hobi pressed, genuinely interested.
I froze for a moment, panicking. I hadn’t thought this far ahead.
“Um, her name is Angelina.” I spoke finally, having said the first name that popped into my mind.
“Never head of her.” Hobi shrugged, scooping another spoonful of food into his mouth.
“She’s not anywhere near here.” I hummed, quickly shoving my mouth with another toast as if to silence myself before I could feed Hobi yet another lie.
“Cool. Well, I’d give you one of mine but I really can’t afford to lose another pill. It took me so long to save enough for the amount I have now. Literally an entire year.”
So that’s where all of Hobi’s left over money from his allowance went.
I pouted in disappointment but other wise understood; I swallowed my bread, “Dang it, I really need a supressor.”
Hobi gave me a sympathetic look before shrugging.
“Why don't you get it from Hobi’s drug guy.” Namjoon spoke up suddenly, his eyes not lifting from his book.
“Drug guy?” I frowned at the term, not liking what it implied.
“Why do you have to phrase it like that?” Hobi laughed.
“Because it’s a guy who sells drugs.” Namjoon retorted before sighing dramatically, “Poor Hobi has a drug problem.”
“Hobi, you do drugs?!” I gasped.
How in God’s name was Namjoon speaking so casually about this?
“No, I’m not some sort of druggie, relax. Joon, stop joking around, you know she doesn't pick up on your sarcasm. Anyway, the guy I get the suppressors from just happens to be a drug dealer.”
“Oh my God, he’s your drug dealer!”
Hobi rolled his eyes, “Don’t call him my drug dealer.”
“So he’s not drug dealer?” I questioned, suddenly confused.
“Well, no. He is a drug dealer.”
“What am I meant to call him then?” I huffed, annoyed at the pace of this conversation.
“He’s my plug.”
“Plug?” I furrowed my eyebrows, unfamiliar with the term in that context.
Hobi just nodded, “Yeah. Keep up with the modern slang, Y/N.”
I rolled my eyes which caused Hobi to laugh. I shifted in my seat.
“I don’t understand. How did you even find this... plug.”
“I take it back, don’t use that term. Sounds weird coming out of your mouth,” Hobi started once he had swallowed his food, “and stop asking so many questions, I’m not gonna take you to see him if you keep that up.”
I made a small noise of surprise, “You’ll take me to him?”
“That was another question.” He laughed before nodding to answer me.
“Ah, you’re the best!” I squealed, leaning over to give Hobi a tight hug. “When can we go?”
“Now if you want.” He shrugged.
I stood up from my seat immediately, “Oh, God. I’m gonna go get ready then!”
My nerves were already through the roof. If I was going to meet this infamous drug dealer then the last thing I wanted was him not to like me. Drugs and violence typically bled into one another, and I didn’t want to give him any reason to dislike me.
I dismissed Hobi and Namjoon quickly nd rushed to the stairs, bouncing with every step.
Walking into my room, I made my way over to my dresser. Opening the box that contained the money I had saved up, I pondered upon how much I should bring. Hobi had told me once that the essence suppressors were expensive and even though I only planned on buying maybe three or so, I couldn’t help but worry that I might not have enough.
Grabbing all of my remaining money, I began to get ready.
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Surprisingly, this drug dealer lived in a nice neighborhood. For some reason, I expected another sketchy entrance-to-Purgatory type of situation. Hobi explained to me that this guy made good money and could afford a nice home.
I thought that a drug dealer would want to draw as little attention to himself as possible, but then it occurred to me that his clients were probably all supernatural and capable of hiding their tracks.
Hobi stopped in front of a house and made his way to it’s door. I followed him cautiously, stopping behind him as he knocked on the door.
Within moment, I heard the door unlock and swing open.
“Oh, hey Hoseok.” A voice greeted from ahead of Hobi. I poked my head from behind Hobi’s back to see who this infamous drug dealer was.
My eyes grew wide.
“Y/N?”
Jin’s expression mirrored mine, wide eyed in disbelief.
“Jin?” I responded, unable to understand how literally everyone in my life somehow lead back to Taehyung. Even if I had wanted to distance myself from him, I genuinely couldn’t.
“Woah, what? You guys know each other?” Hobi said, his eyes flickering between both Jin and I.
“Yeah, we met at Limbo.” I said automatically, Jin’s eyes never leaving mine.
There was no doubt. I hadn’t taken a suppressor today; he could see that I was an angel.
I felt my throat close up.
Jin now knew that Taehyung was a demon and that I was an angel. And with one slip of the tongue, Hobi could find out as well.
“Oh, you were there that night, Seokjin? Shame I didn’t see you, we could’ve hung out.” Hobi said, completely oblivious to the thick tension that surrounded Jin and I.
I stepped behind Hobi to hide myself, trying to control my now erratic breathing.
He had seen my panties in his best friend’s dryer so he clearly aware of the fact that Taehyung and I had that kind of relationship. And now I had just waltzed to his door with another angel to ask him for the very thing I had used to lie to him.
How in God’s name did my life come to this?
“It’s fine. I was with some friends you wouldn’t have wanted to get involved with anyway.” I heard Jin’s voice ring out.
Even if Hobi stood between us, Jin’s voice ran right through me, resonating deeply. Of course he disapproved. I didn’t doubt for a moment that half demons knew the implications of an angel and demon being involved with one another.
My body was suddenly yanked away from my hiding spot as Hobi pulled me into his side so that I could face Jin.
“Well, Y/N is an interested buyer in those essence suppressors I get from you.”
“I bet she is.” Jin stated through a tight-lipped smile. I blushed at his snarky comment, my eyes falling to the floor.
I heard the sound of Jin shuffling and I look up to see that he had moved from his doorway, inviting us in.
I followed Hobi in cautiously, wanting to be anywhere but here. It wasn’t that I thought Jin was going to tell Hobi about Taehyung and I, but the possibility certainly made me sick to my stomach.
Jin’s house was beautifully decorated on the inside; he had a clear preference for marble and white when it came to interior design. The house itself wasn't extraordinarily big, but it was still a good size and it was clear that money had been invested into it.
Hoseok sat down on the couch in the living room and I followed suit, taking in everything around me. Jin had a top notch speaker system, along with an enormous television that I couldn’t imagine any human lifting on their own.
It seemed like his house had everything he could ever want, so I found it curious that he chose to spend his time over at Taehyung’s small apartment.
Did he live alone? Perhaps, he was lonely.
Jin stared down at me.
“How many?” He said bluntly. I clearly wasn’t in his favor today.
“However much this will get me.” I replied quietly. Reaching into my pocket, I showed him how much money I had on me. Jin looked at the currency for a moment before meeting my eyes again.
“So... one.” Jin stated.
I blushed, embarrassed at how foolish I must have looked coming all this way for a single suppressor.
“Yes.” I said extending my money towards him. Hobi quickly interjected.
“Woah, give him the money after you get the product. Haven’t you ever hustled before?” Hobi laughed easily, clearly familiar with how these exchanges usually worked.
“You don’t trust me Hoseok?” Jin smirked at the orange-haired boy, suddenly in a better mood.
Hobi grinned, “You say half demon, I say half scum-bag.”
I widened my eyes in horror at Hobi insulting Jin, but to my surprise Jin just laughed in response. Jin proved to be good spirited regardless of the situation.
Jin told us that he would be back and headed off into a hallway to his left.
“How long have you and Jin known each other?” I immediately asked Hobi, once we were alone.
“Mm, probably a little under a year. He had just moved here when I ran into him. Said he was getting away from his family, or something like that. I would’ve introduced you all but he’s part demon, you know. How long have you known him? I’ve never heard of him going by Jin.”
“First time I met him was that night at Limbo. He just introduced himself as Jin.”
Besides, Taehyung and his friends all referred to him as Jin so it had solidified in my mind. Not that I was planning on telling Hobi about Taehyung or any of his friends.
It was looking as if Jin had no intention on telling Hobi about Taehyung and I, but I still felt like I needed to verify with Jin himself.
Jin came back rather quickly, a small clear baggy with a familiar white pill inside.
“You want to smell it to make sure it’s the real deal or are you good?” Jin teased, causing Hobi to roll his eyes.
“I guess I’ll trust you this one time.” He sighed dramatically.
And with that, the baggy was placed onto my palm and I gave Jin the money I had promised him. I almost couldn’t wrap my mind around how expensive one little pill was.
“Oh, can I borrow your bathroom before we go?” Hobi asked politely to which Jin nodded.
Hobi didn’t bother asking for directions as he got up and walked to what I could only assume was the hallway that led to the bathroom. He had clearly been here before.
Suddenly, I became painfully aware of the fact that Jin and I had been left alone, and by the look on his face, he clearly wasn’t in the mood to talk.
Still, I needed to make sure Taehyung and I’s secret was safe.
“He doesn’t know.” I started meekly, unsure about how to go about this conversation.
“Who? Tae or Hoseok?” Jin quipped back immediately, the judgment in his voice evident.
I flinched at his tone and at what he was implying– that I was using the essence suppressors to lie to Taehyung so that he wouldn’t know I was an angel.
“Hoseok. Actually, no one really knows. The only person that knows about Taehung and I is Yoongi and, well, now you.”
Jin said nothing in reply, which caused my uneasiness to grow.
“I’m not gonna tell Hoseok if that’s what you’re thinking.” Jin stated after a moment of me just staring at him.
Panicking, I shook my head. I needed to stop angering him.
“No! Uh, that’s not what I meant to–”
“I’m sure you and Tae already know how stupid it is what it is you guys are doing, so there’s no need for me to make your situation any more complicated. You already have a shit storm coming for you, I’m sure.”
I fell silent as I took in what Jin said.
“I love him.” I thought out loud, staring at the clear bag on my lap.
Jin blinked at me, saying nothing.
Looking up, I met his eyes, “We want to make this work. There has to be a way. I know we probably both look so incredibly foolish to you but I have to believe that this isn’t a mistake. I’m sacrificing everything to be with him so I have to believe that all this is worth it. He loves me.”
Still he said nothing and I felt myself sink into my seat.
“Wouldn’t you do anything for love?” I frowned.
I watched as Jin’s expression softened a bit; perhaps it was the human in him that sympathized with me a little.
“Yeah. I would.” He replied in a softer tone, suddenly growing somber. I wasn’t sure how to reply to that so I didn’t and we stood in silence until Hobi returned from the restroom.
“Come on, my fellow druggie. Let’s get a move on. I’m sure Jin has other things to do today.” Hoseok waved me over, standing by Jin’s front door.
I jumped to my feet quickly, rushing over to Hobi, more than ready to leave.
“I’ll see you whenever I see you, I guess.” Hobi told Jin casually with a small shrug of his shoulders.
“If you ever decide to delve into human drugs, you know my hours.” Jin replied, a small smirk on his full lips.
I frowned automatically, but Hobi just laughed him off before waving him goodbye and walked out the door.
I paused behind Hobi to give Jin a small but grateful nod, which he returned. Whatever his opinions were, we had seemed to reach a small but silent agreement, and I trusted him not to tell anyone. With a small ‘goodbye,’ I walked out of Jin’s house and shut the door behind me.
┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈
I had managed to slip away from Hobi by claiming that I wanted to explore the city and help some people. Thankfully, Hobi had a job to do elsewhere and left me without a hesitation.
I did actually end up roaming around the city and helping a few humans. I had been spending so much time with Taehyung lately that I had almost completely forgotten about my angelic duties. It was funny to think that this is what once completely consumed my mind.
When the afternoon rolled around however, I made my way back into town, Taehyung’s apartment lay just on the outskirts of it, helping to blend the town into the busy city.
As the elevator took me up to the thirteenth floor, I couldn’t help but feel the familiar rush of excitement that came whenever I knew I was going to see Taehyung. I wondered for a moment if this feeling would ever go away.
I lay a knock on the door, and to my surprise, the door swung open before my knuckle could come down to press another knock onto it.
“You came!” Taehyung exclaimed happily, a boyish smile on his face. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me in for a hug.
I laughed at his boundless energy.
“O-Of course I came.” I stuttered, as his mouth had wasted no time into trailing kisses down my neck.
“If you didn’t come, I was going to go get you anyway.” He admitted with a chuckle, a hand grabbing onto my hair, pulling my head back so that he had better access to my neck.
“Taehyung...” I sighed, “Are you home alone?”
“Kind of. Yoongi is in his room.”
Immediately, I shoved Taehyung off of me. Of all the people who knew of my existence, the last person that I wanted to know I was here was Yoongi. The last time I saw him I had literally threatened to fight him; there was no way I was actually going to follow through, especially now that I was the one who intruded into his home.
“Why are you so scared of Yoongi? So what if he doesn’t like you? He’s not gonna confront you about it. He’s harmless; he mainly keeps to himself and sleeps.” Taehyung frowned, reaching for me once again. I stepped back to counteract his movements.
Taehyung was cute, but he was incredibly naive. This image of Yoongi that he had clearly didn’t exist as Yoongi had absolutely no problem in stomping into my house just to tell me how much he disliked me.
“Ever heard of the expression ‘Don’t poke the sleeping bear?’ That applies to Yoongi.” I told him adamantly, refusing to back down on this one. My life was complicated enough, if I went around aggravating the vampire who already hated my guts, then I was just asking for more trouble.
“Whatever.” Taehyung huffed, making his way towards the the couch. I followed him and sat down on it.
“I have snacks in the kitchen that I’m gonna go bring over. Look through these movies and pick one.” Taehyung told me happily, gesturing towards the display of DVDs that lay on the coffee table in front of the couch.
“Okay!” I told him as he left for the kitchen, peering down at the different films.
Angels weren’t very big on movies. They were fascinating and all, but they only took up time that we could be utilizing to helping humans. I couldn’t remember the last time I sat down to watch a movie. I was excited to do so.
“Put on your Purgy eyes, by the way.” I heard Taehyung’s voice call out as he walked away.
Oh, I had forgotten!
I reached into my pocket in search of the small baggy I had gotten earlier today but frowned when my hand came back up empty handed. Reaching into my other pockets, I felt myself start to panic as they, too, proved to be empty.
How had I lost it? Did I drop it? Oh God, how could I be so careless!
I let out a groan at my own stupidity. Leave it to me to spend all my money on one measly pill, only for me to lose it.
I frowned at the cover of a movie that lay in front of me.
‘Charlotte’s Web’ it read. I wasn’t sure who Charlotte was but I was pretty sure I had her beat when it came to whose life was more of an entangled web.
The sudden sound of the front door opening snapped me out of my thoughts and I watched as Jin walked in. He met me with wide eyes.
“Y/N? What are you doing here?” He asked quickly, his eyes flickering across the room, probably for Taehyung.
“Good to see you again. I’m spending the night.” I told him, politely.
“Y/N is here? Hell yeah!” I heard a voice call out from behind Jin. Before I could pin a name to the voice, Jungkook poked his head out from behind Jin, meeting my eyes directly.
Only this time, I hadn’t taken an essence suppressor. This time, when his eyes met mine, they no longer held that playful twinkle that they usually did.
I watched in horror as his eyes and entire demeanor turned dark, something carnal and forbidding taking over.
“Oh, fuck.” Jungkook all but growled.
#kim taehyung#bts taehyung#taehyung smut#bts smut#v smut#bts imagines#jeon jungkook#bts jungkook#jungkook smut#park jimin#jimin smut#bts jimin#jung hoseok#bts jhope#hoseok smut#jhope smut#min yoongi#bts yoongi#bts suga#yoongi smut#suga smut#kim seokjin#bts jin#jin smut#kim namjoon#bts rm#namjoon smut#bangtan#bangtan smut#mywork
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I posted 38,296 times in 2021
153 posts created (0%)
38143 posts reblogged (100%)
For every post I created, I reblogged 249.3 posts.
I added 221 tags in 2021
#blythe rambles - 30 posts
#blythe speaks - 29 posts
#otherkin - 23 posts
#ok to reblog - 23 posts
#long post - 22 posts
#blythe vents - 22 posts
#ableism - 20 posts
#body horror - 18 posts
#ok to rb - 17 posts
#deltarune spoilers - 17 posts
Longest Tag: 138 characters
#idk how but some people got it into their head that autism/adhd acceptance means uncritically supporting autistic & adhd peeps who are bad
My Top Posts in 2021
#5
disclaimer: i'm speaking from the perspective of a spiritual otherkin
ngl one thing i've always wondered is, with fictionkin, how many people have completely canon timelines? nearly every (serious) fictionkin i've met, who has told me information about their timeline, has events that did not happen in canon. i can count the number of fictionkin that i have met, who have had their timeline be exactly like canon, on one hand.
and i think that's a common misconception outside of fictionkin communities? that if your kintype is a character, that you are always that character and how they are presented in canon. which is, not the case?
in my experience, what's more common is that they remember something similar, or have similarities. although their kintype is the character, some decisions made in their timeline were very different than in canon, or different things were true in their universe.
and i have met fictionkin people who have had radically canon divergent timelines, where the similarities between them and the canon version of the character were very slim.
in conclusion, a fiction based kintype is usually less o "yes i remember being that character 100%" and more often "i remember being someone very similar to that character, with some differences." and i think thats very cool
65 notes • Posted 2021-06-13 07:42:17 GMT
#4
"grammar doesnt matter! definitions dont matter!!!"
then WHAT MATTERS then? you yelling at me when i tell you the definition of otherkin because youre so afraid to be wrong??
66 notes • Posted 2021-01-02 01:16:27 GMT
#3
shoutout to otherkin with bad memory issues, life can sure be confusing sometimes
79 notes • Posted 2021-08-21 19:08:46 GMT
#2
shout out to the aromantics who love romance like its a fantasy or sci fi element
90 notes • Posted 2021-04-28 07:28:29 GMT
#1
actually its homophobic that my body wont let me curl up into a knot when im nervous. im a snake let me Curl Up
90 notes • Posted 2021-08-04 06:50:50 GMT
Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →
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Meltiverse Angst: What if Mel didn’t return their feelings? (Part 1, Universes 01 to 05)
Note: Yeah, it’s kinda weird writing that kind of angst, even thought I love my F/Os… But it’s interesting to imagine… Also, you can check the List of Universe if you wonder who my F/Os are and which fandom they are from.
01-A
- “Bwahahaha! Of course, you are smart enough that you guessed I was just messing with you!”
- Bowser act as if it was just a big joke, and he is surprisingly good at hiding his true feelings on the matter, but deep down, he is heartbroken. He distances himself from Mel, avoiding interactions as much as possible.
02-A-1 (Timeline where Monsters managed to escape from Underground)
- “Ah, Yes… I Understand. Very Well… I… I Need To Go��”
- Crooks understand but feel like his soul is about to dust. He could’ve sworn that Mel was his soulmate… But maybe Humans didn’t feel the same pull as monsters feel for their soulmates… Axe isn’t as understanding and is tempted to “get rid” of the human who broke his brother’s soul, but he knew it would only make things worse. Crooks and Axe end up moving away soon after.
02-A-2 (Timeline where Mel fell Underground)
- “I Am Sorry, But I Am Afraid This Is The Only Way I Can Protect You… To Claim You As My Mate…”
- Unfortunately, in the Underground, there isn’t much possibilities. No one, not even Axe would dare hurt the mate of the Great and Powerful Crooks, but if Mel refuse to be Crooks’ mate… Axe have no problems doing what he think is best for his brother’s sake… “one head dog, comin’ up…”
02-B (Papyrus’ reaction would stay the same no matter if he and Mel meet on the surface or Underground)
- “OH… OH NO… HUMAN, WHAT I MEANT IS THAT I LOVE YOU PLATONICALLY, OF COURSE! AS A FRIEND! NYEHEHEHE!”
- Papyrus immediately bottle up his feelings, convinced that if Mel doesn’t return them, then, they weren’t meant to be. But staying friends with Mel prove to be more painful than he expected. Soon, he feels like his Soul is constantly constricted… and then, he starts coughing… Why is he coughing flower petals?
02-C
- “Yeah, Little Buddy… I know. I just… Had to tell you, but it was pretty obvious that you wouldn’t like me back… Just… forget I said anything, ok?”
- Felix try to act as he doesn’t care, but once he’s alone, he breaks into tears. It hurts him too much to stay friend with Mel, so he starts ghosting them. No seeing Mel hurt even worse… Felix has no idea what to do anymore…
03-A
- Bebop: “No problems, Mel. We’re still friend, right?”
Rocksteady: “Oh… Oh well… At least, we’re still friends. You know what to do if you change your mind!”
- Bebop and Rocksteady are… surprisingly fine with it? Yes, they’re a bit sad, but they actually value Mel’s friendship over a possible romantic relationship.
03-B
- Bebop: “Of course… there’s no way you’d want to go back to dating me with how I look now… *snif*”
Rocksteady: “Is fine. I understand. Don’t worry, I’ll make Bebop understand.”
- Rocksteady is honestly completely fine with it. While he does like Mel and it was his idea to ask them to join their relationship, he did it mostly because he saw that Bebop still loved them. Bebop doesn’t take it as well, convinced that his mutation is the reason for Mel’s rejection. Rocksteady manage to make Bebop understand and they end up just staying friends with Mel.
03-C
- Bebop: “Aww… Boss… You… You sure? Ok… fine… *snif*”
Rocksteady: “Anything we can do to make you change your mind? We’d be good boyfriends, and even better lovers, you know? No? *snif* Ok, boss…”
- They’re both pretty heartbroken about it, to be honest. They just hurry up and finish the contract Mel hired them for. Once the contract is done, they leave, telling Mel that they won’t work for them again, because it would hurt their feelings too much.
03-D
- “Of course… that was to be expected… I thought that since you flirted with me, you would… Nevermind…”
- Rupert is sad, and somewhat angry too. Mel flirted with him, and yet… But on another hand, he gets it. His mutation isn’t really pretty to see… And it seems to be in Mel’s nature to charm about everyone with their charisma, so maybe he’s the one who misunderstood the situation. After calming down, Rupert apologize and ask if they can stay friends.
03-E
- “Sorry, kitten. You’re just too cute. I’ll leave ya alone, now”
- Vinny doesn’t mind too much. Yeah, Mel is really cute, but he didn’t really expect anything by flirting with them. Is he a bit disappointed? Yeah, of course he is, but he’s old, and it’s not the first rejection he got through.
04-A
- “Don’t worry, Mel. I understand. I just felt like you had the right to know, but your friendship is much more important to me than any romantic feelings I might have developed.”
- Coran is very understanding. He honestly didn’t expect Mel to return his feelings and was prepared for it. As he said, he cares much more about their friendship. He’ll probably yell a “QUIZNAK” and cry a bit once he’s alone, but after that, he’ll be fine.
04-B
- “Oh, hey… It’s fine… really… No need to apologize… Let’s just be friend, yeah?”
- Hunk is another one who value friendship over romance, and so he’s fine with just being friends with Mel. It doesn’t take too long for Hunk’s feelings to return to just platonic.
05-A
- “Oh… no, I’m ok *sniff* no, I’m not crying… I just… have something in my eye… It’s fine, really… Hum… Can we still be friends?”
- Poor Will is pretty much heartbroken, but he tries to hide it as much as possible, as he doesn’t want Mel to feel guilty for rejecting him. He still wants to be friends with Mel, as their friendship is very precious to him.
05-B
- “Is that so? Very well, then. Forget I said anything. I was just curious to see how you would react.”
- Honestly, Simon is surprised. He’s usually pretty good at reading people and the fact that he misread Mel that much… Maybe his own desires blinded him. He just acts as if he was messing with Mel and he stays in good terms with them, as it is not their fault for not sharing his feelings and Simon understand that.
05-C
- “*sob* Waaaaah! *snif* S… Sorry… I feel better now. Let’s stay friends, ok?”
- Yeah, Datz cry a bit, but then calm himself and ask to stay friends with Mel. But deep down, he always keeps a flicker of hope that Mel might eventually fall for him.
#meltiverse#mel#headcanons#angst#unrequited love#implied death#implied hanahaki disease#01-A#02-A-1#02-A-2#02-B#02-C#03-A#03-B#03-C#03-D#03-E#04-A#04-B#05-A#05-B#05-C#s/i#f/o#self-insert#fictional other#mario bros#bowser#horrortale#crooks
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Feb 15, 2019
Royal (02/13 3:46 PM) So hypocritical thing from Bear: she got on my case for going behind the family’s back etc but she literally left my family’s Montessori school with my Yiayia having the impression that Bear was going to try getting back into completing her own education, when she actually left for a different Montessori to work at
Kitty (at 3:46 PM) She also said that your entire family had talked about your coming out behind your back...
Royal (at 3:46 PM) She didn’t have the guts to tell my Yiayia the truth
I still don’t think she’s ever told her
So my Yiayia thinks she left so she could have a family, not because she had a different job offer
Hummingbird (at 3:48 PM) It's a "do as I say not as I do" thing
Kitty (at 3:48 PM) That's what blows my mind about her: She can shame you for doing something, while simultaneously admitting that she did that same thing
It's a pattern, at this point.
Royal (at 3:48 PM) She’s a narcissist, she doesn’t see herself or actions as flawed or hypocritical
Also, Bear is a Montessori teacher/parent, so shouldn’t she be encouraging of me going out on my own and discovering and helping myself?
On top of the fact that I’m not a child
I was NEVER truly alone during this process. I had plenty of people to fallback upon, not just being you guys.
I had the entire Pride Center and their resources and experience.
And I had medical professionals who I got all in contact with each other, by exchanging their info.
Hummingbird (7:09 PM) I love you! How was your day?
Royal (7:09 PM) fighting the depressive loop while baffling myself with how functional I am
Hummingbird (7:10 PM) anything I can do to help?
Royal (9:31 PM) Holy shit, I’m so sorry, didn’t mean to disappear for 2+ hrs
Hummingbird (9:31 PM) Np. I assume you fell asleep or had something to do
Royal (9:32 PM) Ryan needed someone to talk to...
He hasn’t told his family or friend yet cuz whenever he tries to type it, it just gets too real
So I’m literally the only person he can bring himself to talk to
He feels so alone
and he feels like he can still try to make things work, that there is more that can be done
Hummingbird (9:34 PM) Oh.. yeah he should definitely talk to some friends and get some perspective
Royal (9:34 PM) I keep saying that
Hummingbird (9:38 PM) And part of that feeling alone is him not reaching out to friends for help. I'm not sure what else to suggest
Royal (9:38 PM) he wants to see if we could try couple therapy
Hummingbird (9:40 PM) 1. Not sure that will help
2. That's expensive
Royal (9:40 PM) yeah…
Royal (02/14 6:21 PM) so I was in the middle of recording a song that has to be done in one take, basically, if I mess up at any point I have to start over, and I had been on like my 10th or 15th attempt and was actually sounding really good and Bear calls me to make me come down and do chores (that apparently neither of my big sisters can do) and was like "have you seen your texts?" and I honestly had my phone on "do not disturb" and was like "no I haven't, I'm recording something" and she responded "that's not important! Come down here to help"
Fuck you too, bitch! You try that shit again, I'm gonna say "Toasting With Bear” is not important!
she doesn't realize how fucking frustrated I already fucking was cuz I was retrying this like a million times, and then I'm also still wearing my binder, so I'm exasperated and it adds to the agitation
what the fuck is her fucking problem? Can she get off her high fucking horse for once? Jeezaleez
her stupid projects are important to her, so maybe she can fucking realize that my stupid projects are important to me, what the fuck
so to make a point and to keep the practice, while downstairs, I kept reciting the song I was trying to record
it's a fast paced song with a lot of articulation and mouthy and whatnot, so it's frustratingly hard for someone who blurbs a lot like me
and I was doing so well when my phone fucking rang :tired_face:
Hummingbird (6:29 PM) you could also reply with "I will do MY chores on MY timeline"
Royal (6:29 PM) it was in preparation for dinner, and they're not MY chores, they're just chores
anyone could do it, and anyone could have been asked to do it
it was literally to vacuum the kitchen, which by the way, I had to wait for my ma to finish what she was doing in there before I could
I'm so scared I'm gonna snap and burn bridges tonight, fuck
I'm so angry and peeved and frustrated and DONE
like, bullshit like this happens all the goddamn time and I just take it
cuz I don't want to burn bridges, cuz I know me having a tantrum isn't gonna change anything, no one will ever fucking change here
especially not her, not for the better at least, she's only changed for the worse
hypocritical entitled bossy little bitch
she used to be the optimistic and laid back one
I don't want to be here anymore
I feel like if she tries to tell me to do something again, I should yell at her "fuck you, Mother Gothel" since she's such a big Tangled fan, she'd get why that's so fuckey
I'm not going too, in fact, I feel like the chances of me decking her is higher than me yelling that
god fucking shit, I lost my lighting too (as I'm also video recording this)…
Hummingbird (6:42 PM) I am sorry she is being a royal pain.
At least tomorrow is Friday
Royal (6:43 PM) it's not just her, though
like, why the hell couldn't anyone have asked Bunny or even her?
vacuuming took like 5min, my Niece would have been fine, especially since some else could have watched her or whatever
Kitty (6:45 PM) “You're not my mom, stop trying to act like it"
Royal (6:45 PM) this happens to me all the time, and the one time I tried to call them on it, I was like "and Bunny can't because?" and my ma responded with "She's watching my Niece" and I come down to find that Bunny is indeed not and is on the other side of the room messing around on her phone and that Bear is watching my Niece now
Nurd notices it all the time
it's everyone
I'm not saying their conspiring against me, but it fucking feels like it half the time
I'm too frustrated to try again right now, I'm just gonna keep tripping over my words and get more frustrated and mess up more
Kitty (6:48 PM) I’m curious what happens if you just refuse to help her
Just "Uh... no..."
Not "no?"
But "No."
Royal (6:48 PM) it's not her, she's the messenger
my mom is asking me to do this, and Bear's asking for her
Kitty (6:49 PM) “I’ll get to it, thanks"
Don't let them have their timeline
Royal (6:49 PM) it was too fucking late when a ringtone ruined my fucking recording
Kitty (6:50 PM) Yeah :frowning:
hugs
Royal (6:50 PM) damage fucking done
I'M EVEN TRIPPING OVER MY WORDS VIA TYPING
there's me getting fucking angry on camera XD can't wait to rewatch that
throwing down my phone with "fuck you too!"
Hummingbird (6:52 PM) hugs
Royal (6:52 PM) nope, I stopped the recording before that��
but me screaming "FUCKING HELL" was caught on camera
dear gods, I was almost at the end of the song when it happened
Royal (7:01 PM) alright, I gave it a few more tries, I might of got a good one in
I fueled myself off my anger to put the passion into it
the song is literally only 1:37, it shouldn't have taken me this fucking long
I started around 4PM
Hummingbird (7:03 PM) wow
Royal (7:05 PM) all that being said, I've been wearing my binder for way longer than I should have…like 12+hrs
Hummingbird (7:05 PM) yeah, that cannot feel good :frowning:
Royal (7:06 PM) all while running up stairs and now singing…
and then getting angry
#journal#mood journal#relationships#relationship#toxic relationship#toxic people#toxic relatives#family#family drama#transition#transgender#trans problems#coming out to family#valentines day#valentine
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