#(I’ve done this sort of thing)
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some WIPs from the 80s AU i never finished
#so… hi#i think…. i might start making some stuff here soon#i’ve been gone a lot longer than i intended to be#& i feel a lil bad about it bc i really miss my boys & bein here & all that but#idk it’s just been a rough month#but i’m starting to get the itch to create again#i have a very silly idea for the mbz AU#i also just really want to draw some stuff#i miss making things. i’m going nuts. i’ve hardly done anything fun in WEEKS#i’ve sort of started working on some new OCs but ngl#doing anything that doesn’t involve dhes or kel genuinely feels like i’m betraying them#but i have a concept that i really want to explore so that’s what i’m trying to do#i have been working on a few AUs here & there too but#but mostly nothing fun#i need to do something fun while i still can bc i’m starting at uni next month#& i just know i’m gonna have shit for free time then#i’m taking all in person classes which makes me very nervous#i’m trying to be excited about it but mostly it’s just causing me anxiety lol#but anyway. um. yea. hopefully i’ll catch up on everything & reply to the tags/asks i’ve gotten since i’ve been gone#if i reply to something you said/sent to me a month ago… pls just act like that’s not weird. thanks.#rainyrambles
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Capcom needs to drop a Luis DLC for me, my almost 60K word-count Luis autism doc doesn’t have enough information on him, I need more /hj
#I know they’re moving onto a new game and all#but if they could just drop a dlc of him I’d die happy#I’ve looked into his idle animations for hours#I’ve overexamined small things he’s done/said#I’ve analyzed almost everything I could#yet my ass still wants a dlc for him#I don’t even care if it’s like a short one#I just want more things I can look about him and add to my doc#it’s funny the doc started as a therapy sort of thing#and yet I still add to it even though the exercise is over#it’s just a fun little hobby of mine /hj#the embers are speaking#resident evil#luis serra#luis serra navarro#luis sera#luis sera navarro
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serennedy week 2024 valentine’s edition - day 3 - mermaid au
human medicine has failed; the only chance now is in the deep.
#my fanart#leon kennedy#luis serra#resident evil#serennedy week 2024#serennedyweek2024#serennedy#re4 remake#mermaid au#i swear sometimes i draw things that aren’t mermaids#don’t look at my banner ok#this was a sort of last minute decision#if i had time i also would have done mer!ashley#one day i’ll take my time coloring#but not today#anyway enjoy this different mermaid au#i have another one but i’m so tired of coloring guys#so tired#time is a circle#i’ve done a composition similar to this before#i know what i like and what i like is merms hauling unconscious people through the water#blood#i still haven’t learned how to draw a flintlock#ALSO it is not a contemporary au so that’s why the jacket doesn’t have a zipper ok#it’s still day 3 in my timezone so i am on time! for once!
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had a very nice realization about peace, especially spiritual peace, the other day. (Been brewing for a while.) and it’s just: peace is for the non-peaceful.
#very obvious of course#but it’s just—-#it’s hard to explain how messy I feel all the time#in all areas of my life#what a grubby little gremlin I feel I am#with my unfinished projects and my half-done things and my unsorted through internal life#and my room that needs vacuuming and my bathroom that needs dusting and the text messages that need answering#and the relationships that I feel need attention or fixing or solving#and tbh counseling has been helpful simply because my counselor is just like ‘girl if you don’t chill’#(kind)#like. she’d just like you’re doing FINE#everyone doesn’t have the dishes finished or everything in order at all times#so I’ve been able to kind of see the ridiculously high expectations for myself I just walk around with#and/or just the pressure I feel to have everything DONE#but even all of that aside it has just been dawning on me that—I can have peace in those contexts#not only once everything is ‘sorted’#because it’s not that I don’t think I deserve it or whatever! that’s not exactly the issue#it’s just literally my brain is like ‘peace is for people who have their shit together’#‘and that isn’t you’#and it just !!!!! isn’t true!!!!!!!!#even if I were as grubby as I think I am (and sometimes I think I AM)#it doesn’t matter. you can still know peace. God still loves me#in the middle of the mess#my WORST states have been when I felt like I had to get myself spiritually in order before God could come#sort of dusted and vacuumed metaphorically speaking I mean#and of course there is work to do#but that happens only with God and because of God and IN God#so I don’t have to wait#can’t explain how often I have heard people talk about peace and been like#‘not for me though’ but it actually IS lol. it I s. beCAUSE I am grubby!!!!!!!!
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h-how do you ever finish any of your work? genuine question because you seem to be productive despite your agreste syndrome and I need to learn your ways. but also how do you ever finish any of your work
unclear. last night i stayed up and finished a report worth 25% of my grade at about 5am, arrived on time for my 9am lecture, and spent about half of it zoned out while thinking about seventeen year old emilie agreste. and i was one of the most active participants in the class discussion
#in some ways it IS the move to go to grad school right out of undergrad#because your body can still sort of operate like a college kid#i’m on about 3ish hours of sleep rn and this morning it felt SO over but now i’ve eaten something and we’re so back#i also don’t really do caffeine. except sometimes i’ll go get one of those panera death lemonades#i might be able to snag a short nap before work#but anyway about seventeen year old emilie. i was thinking abt how she was in that movie solitude and adrien said she was seventeen#WAIT. NO. HE SAID SHE WAS SEVENTEEN IN THAT PHOTO ON HIS DESKTOP NOT IN THE MOVIE#well. okay whatever i’m gonna tell you what i was thinking about anyway#OKAY i’m back i just checked the wikipedia page and then i watched the end of gorizilla. to make sure i’m not lying. because i’m normal.#anyway i was thinking about the solitude film and how it’s super rare and old and obscure and whatever. and how apparently#emilie wrote it herself and andre produced it#and i’m thinking about how gabe was discovered by audrey and that’s how he got his start in the fashion industry#so now i’m like?? did gabe and emilie first meet on the set of solitude? because gabe was designing costumes or whatever?#and that’s how audrey found him? have people already thought about this??#also i just checked and it doesn’t say emilie’s last name in the credits and also it’s ‘graham films’ with the twin rings logo m#so i’m assuming she’s still emilie graham de vanily at that point#anyway it comes back to seventeen year old emilie because i started imagining seventeen year old runaway emilie having her new life in pari#after escaping her british nobility life#and the first thing she does is write and star in an original movie. of course.#and she meets this repressed bisexual punk upstart costume designer who is so the opposite of everyone she’s ever known#and he’s immediately so unhealthily obsessed with her. which she appreciates.#and then they proceed to have the most toxic doomed evil relationship of all time#also she gets cheated because once gabe gets money he represses himself SO hard that he is now exactly like all the people emilie grew up w#but at least he’s still obsessed with her#this is what i was thinking about during class today. i don’t know how i get anything done either.#ml#anna rambles#asks
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Pretty proud of how far I’ve come this year
#I have struggled with crippling anxiety for a long time and this year I really wanted to overcome it and become more independent#like#I used to be absolutely terrified of leaving the house#things like driving and going places alone would make me have crazy panic attacks#but this year I’ve done a lot and I’ve overcome a lot and gained so much confidence#I’ve flown across the country twice this year#driven on some pretty intimidating roads like the highway and freeway#gone on solo bike rides for miles through the woods#eaten tons of new foods#I know those sorts of things might seem very simple and normal everyday things#but I have ocd and it can make my anxiety pretty bad#it can also make a lot of my fears rather irrational#likes like trying new foods and going new places are genuinely intimidating for me#bc it makes me feel like I’m going to die lol#but I’ve done ALOT of things I was scared to do#I’ve come along way#and it may seem like boring basic stuff to some people#but considering I couldn’t leave my house two years ago without panicking to the point of losing feeling in my hands and feet#I think I did pretty good lol#I’m starting to feel like a confident person again#I’m starting to feel like I can LIVE again#and it’s pretty nice#just wanted to write this out somewhere lol that’s all#maybe it will be helpful for anyone struggling in similar ways#to see that improvement is possible#lol anyways happy November#mae rambles
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What I love about Warframe as a newcomer is that there doesn't seem to be any sort of shipping wars or fandom discourse at all. I've been into a lot of shooters before (ie. Overwatch, Apex Legends, etc.) so Warframe is a huge breath of fresh, clean air.
💯
#yeah there’s no warframe shipping wars that I’m aware of tbh lol I know people heavily ship Stalker and Hunhow but you probably won’t meet#those two for a bit. not a big emphasis on fan service or shipping for this game tbh#only discourse I know about was rightie incels getting mad about Equinox being nonbinary and the devs made the pronouns she/her to calm#everyone down about the whole thing but that was many years ago#and on the women’s day Facebook post Equinox was noticeably absent from the image they made for it in recent years :)#so that implies equinox is nonbinary and uses she/her pronouns which I think is cool and a clever way to go about giving us nonbiney frame#outside of Xaku of course! but that’s the biggest incident I can think of and I think there’s a polyamory frame too can’t remember which 1#accidentally progressive W giving a nonbinary character she her pronouns ngl#any sort of ‘discourse’ I’ve seen usually comes from#comes from queerphobes (idk why it sent I wasn’t done typing) who are acting in bad faith#and comes from bad faith folks who have no reading comprehension about the lore and anti-capitalist messages of the in game story#I’ve seen a lot of self shippers here too; one of my moots self ships with Solaris which is cool#cephalon simaris* is what I meant damn autocorrect#if there are shipping wars and discourse I’m not very aware of it and it never gets big enough to breach containment or make its way to me#I can’t find the specific women’s day image unfortunately anymore but I remember being like oh hell yeah#warframe confession#warframe#mod rose
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Guys, guys… cheerleader Sejanus, football/basketball player Marcus
#this has probably been said and done before but i’ve just been so obsessed with sejanus being some sort of performer#dancer ice skater cheerleader#yes to everything#he does not have the confidence to be a performer in canon#nor is he a sporty athletic person#but hey he could be a bit more confident and a lot more sporty in aus enough to be a performer!!#marcus scoring the winning point to a big game and running to sejanus to kiss him and celebrate with him#or whatever they do in movies like that#and whatever the correct terminology is#so cliché but so cute#bonus points if homophobia internalized and not had made things harder for them in the past#now it’s not easy but they’re kissing in front of everybody!! it’s at least better!!#sejarcus#marcus tbosas#sejanus plinth
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do you think modern au ling would smoke pot. follow up would high ling create a hunger the likes of which the world and god have never seen? ty
SDKEDKEJEURDNDB I’M LAUGHING SO HARD AT THIS ANON
i feel like i know who sent this but ling definitely would… not only would he smoke weed but he does edibles. ed showed him the world of weed (he probably came to the US at like 15 from china where smoking weed isn’t really a thing, correct me if i’m wrong) but they probably live in like ohio or wisconsin or maybe some southern state like texas where y’know, weed isn’t legal. So they have to do it on the DL (i heard that in a lot of states where weed is illegal people dgaf but they probably live somewhere rural).
tbh i’ve really liked the idea of ed and ling as roommates living together after college (probably not hard to guess what ed graduated with but ling probably either barely passed his business degree or dropped out. but he would DEFINITELY be a frat boy.) they would smoke weed daily and have the most INSANE appetites. the Doordash people are already familiar with them because they keep constantly ordering food. also, the pizza delivery people keep wondering why ling keeps ordering two pizzas like weekly.
also if greed is somehow living in ling’s body their switching is insane when the body is high. ling has a really high tolerance, and it’s probably even higher (lmao) as a homunculus
TL;DR: you already know the answer to this question anon
#we should be friends anon <3#and get high together#or maybe not idk my tolerance is super low#i had to bring up edibles because… i’ve done them maybe 5 times (i’ve never smoked weed lmao)#so I don’t know what smoking weed is like#drugs#weed#ling yao#edward elric#fma#edling#rip to any of the normal people who find this but i want this to be easy to find#also everyone please continue to ask me things like this i love seeing these sort of asks in my inbox#ask#anonymous
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I loooove to see collections of images. This is profoundly healing
I really do feel like sorting and collecting pretty things according to theme and general vibe might be the cure to life
#and when you’re done you sort everything again to a different theme#and just daydream and disappear into it#i sorted all my tiny glass seed beads once and it was the most fun i’ve ever had#i highly recommend it#this only applies to tiny things though#the big things are too overwhelming#I like a lot of stuff but only if it’s tiny stuff#yes i am autistic
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White US Americans, what’s the most innocuous but embarrassing White US American thing you’ve done lately? Mine was buying 10 cans of black beans because they were on sale, fully planning to eat them like a normal person eats black beans, but instead I dumped tomato paste and maple syrup and molasses and paprika in there so I could mimic baked beans and eat them with hot dogs.
#listen though#it’s really good lol I actually can’t even tell the difference between what I’ve done and canned Bush’s baked beans#(and yeah I probably was supposed to use brown sugar but I get sick of trying to keep that stuff soft so I keep molasses around instead)#(it’s the same thing. sort of)#food cw
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@good--merits-accumulated #isn't there a scene in guardian where zhao yunlan is leaning on his motorbike with the lollipop very cool looking#except he's like. in the foyer of his building? like how'd he get in there#feel like that's pompey
wheezing this is so so true
but oh my god wait also. zhao yunlan and pompey….literally the way that priest writes scenes with zhao yunlan in love, whenever plutarch writes of pompey in love….I need to think about all encompassing loves and romances and what it means to be a lover in stories with inescapable violence for a minimum of five to seven business days……
#I can’t think about Pompey and Julia or Pompey and Cornelia for longer than five minutes without laying face down on the floor#Cornelia………..weeping wailing……#Plutarch will write about how Pompey was a devoted husband and all that other stuff and I’ll immediately bite him#for everyone who hasnt read mo du. Crassus is less enthused abt that one because of things like the torture room.#honestly. thematic for him. but also. well!#uhh#Did I have a modern au tag here. I know I’ve done it once before.#I’ll sort that out later#drawing tag#modern au tag
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the terrifying moment of realization when talking to a self proclaimed Leftist when you can immediately tell “oh. this person has never done an hour of community service in their life.” like. i know it’s been said before but your politics truly do not matter if you’re not interacting with your community in any way. you can vote in every single election and it will not have a fraction of the impact of 17 year old tyler who got sentenced to 20 hours of picking up litter and weeding the community garden. you can never once vote out of protest and read piles of theory and not come close to making the change that the group of 80 year old catholic ladies at St. Mary’s on the corner do with their weekly community meals and school supply drives. we live in the rotting corpse of an evil empire. ideas mean fucking nothing. the only thing that matters at all is physically extending a hand to try to help the people around you.
#getting super involved in volunteer work in my tiny ass town in rural ohio has perhaps radicalized me more than anything else#like truly it is so easy to make sure peoples lives have been tangibly improved even in some small way#just by serving and packaging meals or sorting through clothing donations#or keeping kids entertained while their parents talk to someone abt SNAP or even fucking scrubbing the sinks and toilets in a halfway house#because the residents have much bigger things to worry about than cleaning#all things i’ve done within my own town that were easy and fun and great ways to socialize and meet people near me#literally just fucking google volunteer opportunities + your city and there that’s more praxis than 90% of this fucking webbed site#god. sorry for the rant. can you tell i’ve been seeing an i fluc of Very Stupid posts recently#influx*
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visual stim person versus having to explain that i don’t necessarily want to fuck the person of the filmography that i’m watching i just like looking at them and when they’re dressed up and in different scenarios? it’s like christmas day. god is shining upon me. life has never been brighter
#family found out i’m fixated on alan rickman’s filmography#brought up several other actors/actresses i’ve done this with in the past#this ^ happened#figuring out i’m a visual stimmer first and a human second has drastically changed my life. i just love looking at everything#and then when it does the mental click thing? that’s humanity’s hardest drug#don’t even get me started on edits. my tiktok is just 1k+ edits bookmarked + sorted into folders for me to watch over and over again#girl help the autism
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cleaning your room is all about finding things you forgot about including this secondary option dress shoe for the wedding i went to in october that i meant to return and then kept in a box on the floor for um. the entire time after i purchased them until now
#it’s fucking sort yourself out sunday. just you guys wait to hear all the things i’ve gotten done#also had to go find some little sparkly socks to try them on with. i guess i have two pairs of dress loafers now#the ones i wore to the wedding; for those who don’t remember; were also black velvet but had gold star studs#photo record
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update: the date went really well!
#txt#he was super nice and funny and we have a lot of shared interests#and immediately got along#we were at the cafe so long we got kicked out because they were closing 😅#and in almost 4 hours the conversation was never dull or boring#i did genuinely enjoy myself!#….. the only thing holding me back is that idk if i find him attractive#like he’s cute in a geeky sort of way but he’s not my usual type#and I didn’t feel much physical attraction to him#but I’ve never done this before so idk if it can grow over time or not#either way I’m so glad it went well and that he was nice!#I can finally cross going on a first date off my list hahaha#also I have another date tomorrow 🫣🫣🫣🫣#idk who I’ve become but I’m not mad about it lmao
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