#(I was watching a video about film critics and while I thought it was fine

[boysnberriespie]

This is very beginner thoughts but I do think the trend of “anti-intellectualism” seems more like a greater trend towards reactionary and conspiracy like thinking because the world is in fucking turmoil

[marciabrady]

Sorry if you've already answered something like this before but I'd like your thoughts on cinderella 3? As a huge cinderella fan I can see the appeal it has to the wider audience but idk I've never gelled with it?

No worries! I'm in the same boat as you, for a multitude of reasons. I still remember, when I saw the third movie for the first time, thinking it was okay but then never wanting to watch it again. Something about it didn't ring true, but it just wasn't on my mind much and I never felt compelled to revisit it (as opposed to the original which I rewatched on a daily basis at a certain point of my life). Then, later, as an editor, I returned to it to continue engaging with the Cinderella fandom by giffing things that hadn't been made before. I tried to admire it for a while, because that film brought many people to Cinderella that otherwise didn't like her but...the more I sit with it, the more I realize how much it isn't for me. Now, it isn't that it's bad. That's a subjective thing, obviously, and it has a comparatively higher production value for a film of its kind. However, I think the way the film presents itself as blending with canon is extremely flawed and I think it's led the fandom to a lot of conclusions that I'm downright uncomfortable with. It's fine as its own thing, but I'm growing increasingly uneasy with it being considered a canonical part of the fandom.

Cinderella herself. No adaption of Cinderella ever gets Cinderella right (the live action is the worst offender) but I think, in some ways, it's more glaringly obvious here because it's supposed to be a direct continuation of the one media that did get Cinderella right? No one could ever live up to Ilene Woods' Cinderella, and I know that's an impossible assignment, due in no small part to how natural she was in the role and how it overlapped with certain areas of her personal life. Jennifer Hale is fine enough but her performance doesn't ever feel distinctly Cinderella and seems more suited for the video game performances that she's amassed a ton of critical and commercial success with. While she's given interesting responses regarding her view of Cinderella, I don't think I'd trust her with carrying the mantle (again, she's said intelligent things but she downplays Cinderella by insinuating she was limited in the first movie and how her own portrayal is more of a 'warrior' and how Cinderella is everyone's favorite princess until they grow up and 'rightfully' start to like more action oriented princesses). The film itself doesn't even understand Cinderella and just gives her a Belle and Ariel redesign, along with a soaring Broadway song where they completely change her singing style. It also changes her entire motivation to be fighting for love (a step back and not how she was in the original, I also think it lends credence to criticisms saying she's silly for only falling in love after one dance unfortunately whereas the original, in my opinion, didn't fall into that trap) and there's so many instances where they frustratingly make her slow ("Lift the spell- make him remember!! Bi- ahh!!"). I also think she's relegated to a side character in her own film and Anastasia is treated infinitively better, which is an issue to me. I also hate how they robbed her of her greatest victory. Cinderella producing the slipper and being her own savior might be my favorite scene in film history. Taking that away from her and making her openly stumble in front of Lady Tremaine, someone who just locked her in the attic and abused her her entire life, was...a choice. Just like her almost handling her *glass* slipper to Lady Tremaine, only for it to be broken, was. It just made her look dense and the entire thing came across as un-cohesive with what was previously established. Like, I'm sorry but...

This Cinderella was so raw, so layered, gritty, real. She grew up in an abusive household with no resources, skillfully masterminding her own exit. She understood the nuances of her captor, and always kept one trick up her sleeve. When she descended upon the staircase, she made her way through her stepfamily actively discouraging her- an orphan with no one else in the world- to the visiting nobility. They called her ridiculous, impossible, out of her mind, just a scullery maid from the kitchen- an imaginative child. She made her way past them, knowing that- if the grand duke believed them or left or if any detail of her plan fell through- she'd forever be stuck with these three women that would practically kill her once the door shut. But she persisted, and even when Lady Tremaine thought she was the one with the trick up her sleeve, smashing the glass slipper, Cinderella pulled a reverse uno and produced something no one else thought possible- the slipper's mate. Compare that to...

The third movie where Cinderella has to run down the stairs, escaping from her attic entrapment, and waves around her glass slipper in front of her stepmother, explaining to her in full detail that transpired the night previously at the ball, putting herself in a position that 4 seconds later allowed Lady Tremaine to crash that slipper and gaslight her into forgetting. Like...why??? I have so many issues with the way Cinderella is depicted in the film, but we'll leave it here (not even going to get into why people only like her in this version more because she displays more masculine strength by "fighting" and being physically combative which...again, there's more than one way to be strong and the fact that they tried to make her just like any other modern Princess is disappointing to me).

The Anastasia problem. This is something that only continues to upset me more and more as time goes by. In the original film, it's established that Anastasia actively abused Cinderella for the better part of her life. She taunted her, lead to Cinderella being punished multiple times, and blocked off Cinderella's escape or pursuit of a healthy life so many times. The way she's enabled the cycle of abuse to continue and actively, not only participated it but, spearheaded it on a few occasions, explains to us why she's the antagonist. I think it's dangerous that she appears in such a sympathetic light, especially without ever once offering a substantial apology to Cinderella. All of Anastasia's actions in this film, too, are completely self-motivated and I just think it lead to this trend where a lot of people see Anastasia as the protagonist (because she has the most screentime in this movie) and I just think it's poor form to sympathize with an abuser and, frankly, a dangerous moral to espouse. Like, even in the finale where they show Cinderella trying to reason with Anastasia is so toxic. Someone who's been on the receiving end of an irrational abuser's whims their entire life should never try to reason because "they know a good person is there, deep down." And I've seen a lot of people call them "sisters" and talk about how Anastasia had it worse than Cinderella because she's considered conventionally unattractive...which. I could write essays about this and how it's projection, but physical beauty doesn't go that far in this universe. Walt even had an animator redrew Anastasia's smile to be more attractive because he wanted all the characters to be somewhat sympathetic in favor of realism, as opposed to 'all good' and 'all bad.' Again, in this universe, the Prince sees an endless line of beautiful women in amazing clothing so that isn't what attracts him to Cinderella. However, I do think it's worth noting that Cinderella ceases to exist in her society when she doesn't appear 'eligible' by having markers of wealth. She's symbolically stripped of her dignity and hidden away, all of her opportunities taken from her. You know who never suffers that lived experience? Anastasia and Drizella. They're slovenly, over-privileged, and completely self-motivated and this sudden rewrite that they're poor victims because, in our world, they wouldn't be seen as beautiful and that qualifies them for a more traumatic upbringing than an orphan they helped abuse is ridiculous to me.

The disregard for the original characterizations. There are so many things here that just don't make sense. In the original, the King was hellbent on getting grandchildren and even displays a delightful meta commentary multiple times (when it's touched on how ridiculous it is that the Prince would marry any girl that fits the slipper, since that's been a critic of the original story, the King shrugs off that his son said it in a lovesick stammer and sees this as an opportunity to get those grandchildren "that's his problem; he's given his word, we'll just hold him to it). All of a sudden, this King is telling his son it's ridiculous to marry a girl who wears a size 4 1/2 and that's no reason to choose a bride??? And is showing Anastasia his late wife and trusting the clumsiest person I've ever seen with a delicate seashell? OKAY. Not only that, but just so many things that made the original characters unique are eroded so they can be like every other Renaissance character. Like, Lady Tremaine was such a great villain because of her presence and charisma and her cunning virtue. To omit all of that and how her waving around a magic wand and yell Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo was unnecessary.

Too much mice. I know many feel that way about the first film, but I think they were skillfully intertwined. It was way too much here and there was no place for them.

The art design and color palette is more gaudy and unappealing to me. I could keep going but lol

[weaselbeaselpants]

Lily, I did/do agree with you on some fandom takes, especially back during the DownWithMolestia days. Heck I agree with a lot of your takes in current year. Even if I agreed with you on everything you say I'd still fucking drop you and hope every single one of your fans wakes up and does so to for the right reasons --that you're a predator/lying abuser, not that you hate Gay Rocks in Space-- too.

Like, you wanna hear proof some folks' who I not only liked but REALLY like their videos and still absolutely think are in the wrong?

JonTron and Brad Jones.

I still find myself quoting their damn videos every now and again because god damnit that shit is/was funny, sue me. I loved CinemaSnob especially and god JonTron's videos were so much fun.

Too bad JonTron said some of the worst, most horrendously antiblack shit I've ever heard and has never fucking apologized for it or even BEGUN to have an iDubbz moment. I believe Pewdiepie feels+understands what he did was wrong more than JonTron and that's a bad sign. Jon was funny, a white person. Don't care. I'm never going to follow anything he makes again because the stuff he had to say was heinous and no it doesn't just "go away" because another white yter is in trouble for this kind of thing or it's been so many years since his 'canceling' and 'doesn't matter'. Really?

CinemaSnob is less racist (publicly) but he showed his true colors by publicly choosing to stay with his toxic friends and showing he was a two-sided jerk, and then made up lies about doxxing and harassment just to sweeten the deal. What he did (while roping Double Toasted in no less) was straight up admit that he doesn't care about any of the shit leveled at Channel Awesome, even after CA themselves admitted to hiding a sexual predator, because "he'd still have a career" even after he hurt anybody. Say all you want about any yter, breadtube or whatever, being callous and 'uncaring' or blocking ppl that just disagree w them- "apologize even if you don't mean it = dumb", "Logan Paul filmed a dead body and he still has a career", it's that side you showed of yourself, Brad, that is always going to make me actually genuinely hate myself for quoting your old videos or seeing you show up in an old Phelan or Allison vid.

Whether it be personally or politically, you can look like an ass and even the biggest fans of your work are gonna be shaken up and drop you for it-- to which you'll probably say they were never really "your REAL fans" for being "sensitive" w really it's just people having independence and critical thinking.

I would not be the person I am now if I didn't disagree/look into the drama buzzing around my personal fav yters like Lindsay Ellis and Jenny Nicholson with an open mind. I know (of, not rlly know) these women and their careers and the points where they were definitely getting harassment and if there's any credible basis for shitty behavior they've done - no matter how I feel about their work, I DON'T want to defend it just because I have this parasocial comfortzone in their essays. I don't want to entertain hate campaigns and lolcow farmers, I want to always do my due diligence and genuinely know "wait wtf did 'x' say about 'x'." In the case of folks like Ellis or PanPizza or Quinton Reviews here's usually always some degree of nuance or-"yes soandso isn't a [thing I thought they were cuz of drama I saw], but I'm personally allowed to not like them bcuz of how they handled these accusations"-vibes. Valid asf. That's me with some of the people I watch, like Wendigoon. It's fine.

In the cases of JonTron, Brad Jones, Emily Youcis and now Lily Orchard....no. Fuck this. I'm an adult and it's not the quality of your work you make whatsoever, it's all about your personality. If you are shitty and vile, possibly even criminal (hate speech should count as criminal, Youcis) and you don't even begin to care that you are any of those things...yeah why should I give you the time of day or treat your work like it's different from you as a person?

[luvhards]

 application :

✧˚  ༘  ⋆｡˚  well,  well…  it  appears  that  aria  eden-west  will  be  a  part  of  new  york's  social  season  once  more  !  according  to  guildsource,  the  twenty  -  seven  year  old  is  most  known  for  being  an  heir  to  a  jewelry  empire  /  youtube  show  host  &  magazine  editor  ,  and  is  constantly  spotted  hanging  around  the  brew  club  —  seems  as  if  you've  heard  of  them,  too.  they  initially  made  a  splash  on  the  gossip  site  after  falling  down  the  steps  at  the  met  gala  ,  and  they've  been  the  center  of  attention  ever  since.  the  public  tends  to  view  them  as  being  nosey  and  critical,  but  people  close  to  them  say  they're  actually  captivating  and  thoughtful…  i'll  believe  it  when  i  see  it.  they  tend  to  remind  me  of  the  glossy  coat  on  the  pages  of  a  magazine  ,  the  blinding  sparkle  of  a  jewel  when  it  hits  that  perfect  spot  of  sunlight  ,  the  warmth  of  tequila  as  it  slides  down  your  throat  &  the  comfort  of  throwing  on  your  favorite  youtube  video  while  eating  a  meal  .  which  says  the  most  about  them.  i  wonder  if  they'll  be  seen  wearing  their  tiffany  &  co.  elsa  peretti  open  heart  necklace  to  the  social  events  this  year,  but  nevermind  all  that.  the  social  season  is  upon  us,  and  guildsource  is  always  watching.

statistics :

faceclaim  :  dua  lipa  name  :  aria  catherine  eden  -  west  birthday  :  april  eighteenth   birthplace  :  london  ,  england   age  :  twenty  -  seven   occupation  :  magazine  editor  ,  interviewer  &  youtube  show  host   education : bachelor’s in film and media studies from columbia. height  :  five  feet  ,  eight  inches   scent  :  dolce  &  gabanna  light  blue 

family heritage :

aria eden west is the newest carat in her family’s gold lineage, next in line to the throne of her family’s crown jewel , weston co.  founded by catherine west , weston co. was risen from the ground up , determined to give the ‘ every day woman ‘ access to jewelry that was both stylish and durable , allowing them to pay no mind to the usual wear and tear that came with being a twentieth century housewife . j.c penney was the first to invest , lining their accessories sections with their first ( and what would soon become their most famous ) cuff bracelet , an indisputable hit during the holiday season which made penney’s rich and catherine even richer . weston co. only blossomed from there , over the next hundred years she’d break the glass ceiling of the j.c penney’s jewelry section , open her own boutiques , little by little inching closer to the edge of rodeo drive where the weston co. now resides with the rest of the world’s greatest designers . weston co. prides itself on being made for women , by women — though , now it’s certainly popular and amongst anyone who enjoys fine jewelry — so the company now rests in the hands of eleanor eden - west , and eventually , it will become aria’s too .  ( weston co. is equivalent to a brand like cartier or tiffany & co. )

some lore about aria’s signature jewelry : the weston co. ( hehe ) open heart necklace in silver and gold is now an archival piece , released for a limited time in the late mid 2000s as an ode and celebration of the re-marriage of eleanor west and thomas eden .  west women are notorious for wearing almost exclusively gold jewelry , so the heart in gold is meant to represent both aria and her mother while the heart in silver symbolizes thomas , the two welded together in ( almost ) perfect matrimony . along with the necklace , she can almost always be seen wearing a random assortment of rings on her fingers , never so many to the point where it gets cluttered but there’s always at least one on her hands at all times . 

past :

you grow up with the world at your fingertips . everything you want is given to you before you have to so much as ask . it’s the typical life that’s afforded to a child like you , educated in the nation’s best private schools , never without the newest toys or latest book in whatever series you were obsessed with at any given time ( some even before they were released to the public ) . it’s comfortable , you’re comfortable , but why does that make you feel so guilty ?

technically the first “ true “ nepotism baby in your family considering that your mother didn’t get to reap the benefits of weston co.’s success until she was well in her 40s and your father built his entire career from the ground up . not that you’re complaining , people would kill for this life and you know that you’re lucky to live it . you don’t resent it , in fact you cherish it , but you can’t help from asking yourself one thing : what have you done to deserve this ?  a question both you and the tabloids seem to keep asking .

you want more out of life , as grateful as you are for your parent’s support you feel terrible taking it from them — is it true what everyone says ? would you really be nothing without your family name ? going to college feels like the only way to get away from it all , to silence that voice in your head that tells you the only thing you’ll ever have to show for yourself is a company you don’t even really own . you go to columbia , but not without scrutiny . impossible not to overhear the whispers of your peers that swear they have you pieced together , that are completely certain your family’s name ( or perhaps their generous donation ) is the only reason you’ve made it this far . they put a chip on your shoulder , and it’s only up to you to figure out how to get it off . 

you make two friends while you’re in college , it’s all you can really afford as someone who spends as much time in the library as you — one on occasion they quite literally had to drag you out of there kicking and screaming . you spend your first two years completely immersed in your studies , trying to prove to everyone ( read : yourself ) that there’s more to you than what your parents have given you , that you’re smart , independent , worth something on even your own .

it’s not until your senior year that you find the thing that would eventually become your life’s purpose . céline was meant to be nothing more than your final project , a theoretical magazine complete with three articles on art , entertainment and current events that was supposed to be for your professors eyes only . but you’ve never found yourself work so hard at something in your life , not only determined to make your final project your best one yet but actually interested in the process at hand . you found yourself excited to go home to write an research , so many nights spent watching the sun rise while you fooled around indesign tweaking the smallest details until they sat just right on the page . 

you’re not quite ready to own a company yet , the thought of inheriting the one that’s had your name signed on it sign the day you were born still sometimes makes you feel sick , so you’ll have to find another way to turn this into something more sustainable for the person you are right now .

you reach out to a couple of friends who reach out to a couple of friends and before you know it you’re being asked to pitch an idea for a youtube series , one that puts a new edge on the predictable world of celebrity interviews — and thus , pub crawl is born . it’s probably not the best idea , inviting celebrities for a day of recorded and publicized drinking all while asking them questions about their lives and careers , but maybe that’s exactly the point . pub crawl becomes an instant success , rising to viral fame after tom holland came to the show and completely spoiled the upcoming avengers movie after he’d gotten tripped up by one of your tricky questions . 

it’s been a hit ever since , each season only growing bigger and bigger until you find yourself being invited to interview celebrities at the red carpet of some of entertainment’s biggest events . people love you , they find your interviewing insightful yet playful , flirtatious yet elegant , captivating in every way as is obvious by the millions of views garnered by your interviews at the grammy’s , oscars and of course , the met gala .

you get three seasons deep into pub crawl before you realize that though hosting this show makes you happy , it doesn’t make you feel complete . sure , it’s fun picking your guests brains about their most recent projects but it doesn’t feel like enough . you want to talk about what’s really going on in the world , about art , history , fashion , design , and give voice to the people who do it best . so  , céline is pulled back out from the depths of your google drive , an dream you’re now determined to make into a reality especially now that you have all of the resources to do it on your own . for the next year , any time that isn’t spent filming pub crawl is dedicated to turning cèline into the publication it’s meant to be , gathering a team of writers , editors and designers to make certain that it lives up to the potential you’ve always known it had .

it’s been a year since it’s official launch , and while most of the reception has been positive you definitely won’t be winning a pulitzer any time soon . the critics sound like a broken record , dubbing céline as yet another passion project by an out of touch product of nepotism baby funded by money that was never yours in the first place . you’re tired of feeling like you have to prove yourself to people , trying to make them see that your worth is in more than just who you are, but what you can do — so , you stop trying to .

[georgiapeach30513]

I hate to say this because we know there’s a subsect of crazy qanon conspiracy ppl on here…but im kinda wondering if someone is like out to get Chris or has he been like blackballed in HW somewhat?

I know it sounds insane but the reviews that came out for PH had ppl saying he was miscast and that he wasn’t giving enough and xyz, meanwhile Emily is the sole person whose getting nearly unanimous praise. The supporting cast is sometimes not even mentioned but IMHO everyone was solid in their roles.

But Chris was really darn good in this and I’m surprised that his performance has been downplayed by the critics. I’ve seen ppl praise actors for way less. I’ve seen actors get noms and awards recognition for way less.

I think you may know what I’m getting at. like, I personally am a big fan of Emily so her getting praise isn’t surprising because she can act and do things with a subpar script. But there were moments in this film where I felt she was kinda struggling while Chris was basically solid throughout it all. His Pete never really wavered. Always solidly douchey but surprisingly showed vulnerability at some parts where it actually worked. He showed emotion, and his rapping skills were actually better than the guys who made the actual video that scene was based on. LOL.

I think future filmmakers need to watch Him in this role if they ever consider him for other things.

Again, I’m not trying to make up things or sound delusional but I’ve wondered for a while why nearly every other big name mainstream actor and many not so big names and more indie actors nowadays gets accolades but CE consistently gets passed over. It’s almost like he’s being marketed and set up to never get higher than where he is. I don’t mean just for Oscar’s Emmy’s or SAGs - I mean even like Saturn awards or xyz platforms where actors can get nominated for roles they’ve played.

Snowpiercer - critics and fans alike have hailed this as one of his best roles to dates. But go on Wikipedia - Tilda swinton and some of the supporting cast got nominations from diff platforms (not Oscar’s or Emmy’s but maybe smaller awards) and the only person left out was Chris. I was virtually shocked he was being overlooked for even small awards.

Hopefully this doesn’t come off as me saying he’s snubbed for awards. I think he definitely needs to let go and give more to really open ppl’s eyes on his ability. But I am saying I’m surprised at the latest developments - where he’s putting out a solid performance that’s worthy of praise but is getting zilch from the ppl who “matter.”

I have had these thoughts myself. I by no means think he is the best actor in his age bracket. There is one that I have talked about that I think is genuinely amazing, and Sebastian will continue to do amazing things because he allows himself that vulnerability. He continues to hone his craft, and work with children speaking on acting. Sebastian has remained very humble but also had humble beginnings. Chris really hasn’t. He’s lived a charmed life and sometimes it makes you jaded.

Now, I do think this is a solid performance from his. I will continue to sing his praises for Defending Jacob, Snowpiercer, What’s Your Number and several other movies where he’s the light in the movie. But there does seem to be a bit of a disconnect throughout his career, not just recently, when it comes to critical praise.

I don’t know that Chris wants to be a critical adored actor, but judging by some of the roles he’s taken, he does want to be respected. And of course when we do a job, don’t you hope people acknowledge your skills? I’m not saying Oscars, but even just a moment of, he did so good! 🤷🏻‍♀️ who knows.

As for Emily, she’s fine. In my opinion people give her more credit than she’s worth.

[this-account-is-abandoned]

SA representation fucking sucks.

I will say beforehand that if you are a fan of Vivienne Madreno's works, I am not criticizing you specifically. You're fine to still like the show and I actually do admire you for being able to look past major flaws. I am also aware that other survivors are on different legs of their journey's, so this may not resonate with every survivor. I just want to give a heads up that I may use strong emotional terms in this. I feel strongly about how rape is depicted in media and it is a dealbreaker for me depending on how it's handled. ----

I don't believe it when people say Viv wanted to depict male SA victims properly, or any SA victim of any gender at all. I've had it told to me a few times that was the intention. I then tried to watch the show, and stopped promptly partway through episode four after the Poison music video. My first gut reaction as someone who spent years being sexually abused still clings to me. I also feel the need to note that I have almost no tolerance for the act of rape depicted in media of any kind. How the fuck would you feel if you were Anthony? You were tricked. Told a lie that ended up in you somehow addicted to drugs to numb the disgusting reality that you'd sometimes get gangraped on camera for millions to enjoy your misery, humiliation, and dehumanization.

And then you get drawn in bondage gear, bent over, terrified, about to get gangraped on camera for all of Hell to see. I did not get abused like that, but I was definitely used for pleasure as just a baby teenager who thought my value rested solely in how 'hot' my prepubescent body was to older men. This is important for my perspective, I promise. I fucking hate bringing this up, but I feel like some background is needed. I was at the naive age of fifteen when I went on seemingly innocent a date to a mall. The older boy I went with then raped me in public in several locations, and I was too scared to fight back because I'd always been a quiet person. People filmed me. They looked at my exposed body in disgust and whispered what I could only imagine was 'slut' and 'whore'. Words that don't deserve the hate they are backed by. He dumped me after he was done using me, depositing me on a curb. My mother picked me up an hour later. I have never been the same. Keep in mind, I gave you none of the visceral details of what he specifically did to me beyond raping me. Because it doesn't matter. I then had no direction, and used shitty coping mechanisms like hypersexuality and jokes deflecting my trauma and drugs because there is little to no guidance for people like myself. I was soon trapped again by a man in his late twenties who asked me to do sexual favors for him and his friends on camera via 4chan. I only agreed because I was a kid in need of comfort, and I stupidly thought they cared. From there, I won't explain what I've thrown my body at in order to feel any fucking thing, but it was a lot. I will give you a happy update to say I have mostly recovered. I am married to someone who loves me, scars and all. Back to my issue with the writing of SA in Hazbin Hotel, I felt that it lost all of its meaning the moment Viv decided to animate the actual act of Angel's rape in the Poison music video. Even heavily implied, the audience can easily tell he was about to get violently gangraped on camera for entertainment while unable to vocalize. How does this help SA survivors, exactly? Again, if you're in your stage of healing where you want people to see how you were raped, please just sit with your feelings for a while. I say this with love. That is self harm. No one needs to see how you were raped. They need to see how it hurt you afterwards. That's the bit that actually needs to be told. Don't give your rapist any the attention. At the end of the day, there is no justification for rape. There is no justification for showing it in media either. The people who know it's terrible don't need visuals of the act itself. You can easily imply it and focus on what actually matters. The aftermath of an SA survivors story is undersold. The way it damages the fucking brain needs to be spoken about more. (Literally, my brain is damaged because of what happened to me) The only thing that showing rape as an action in media does is create cheap shock value for some, more material for others who seriously need to unpack why they find it arousing in the first place (no hate, I've been there), and at the very worst retraumatize survivors (also happened to me). Allow me to frame this another way please?

Imagine a rape victim being approached by someone who claimed that they wanted to tell their story as a side plot in their new show. They are told that it will be in an animated R-rated comedy musical. Understandably, most people would be hesitant to agree. Not that it's impossible, but it has to be done a certain way. For the sake of this story, they agree.

How would they feel if they then saw one of their assaults animated as a pop music video?

Animation takes longer that live action does. You really have to commit to drawing something like that.

Personally, I would be furious. I would be horrified that the showrunner decided to let my abuser win again by painstakingly animating exactly what my abuser did to me. I'd feel like I was put on display again twice over for a fictional audience and for a real one.

I hate how SA is represented because it doesn't matter how it happens. What matters is how it affects the people after, how the abusers are (ignored because they have "futures") treated, and how society is not at all ready to address this issue.

It's a dealbreaker for me that Viv decided to show Angel's sexual abuse. Whether good intentioned or not, and it shows to me, someone who's had extensive therapy regarding my own abuse, that she does not understand the material she's trying to work with. Even if she is supposedly working with SA victims or if she is one herself, I fear she missed the mark here. Impact matters more than intent. Thank you if you made it this far. This has been bothering me for a while, I just needed to write my thoughts down and hopefully find like-minded survivors.

[kolbisneat]

MONTHLY MEDIA: July 2023

Summertime! Full of good vibes and a bunch of good movies I’ve yet to see. Here’s how I spent the month of July.

……….FILM……….

Barbie (2023) Just incredible. As an artist who works with existing properties overseen by a lot of people, I was amazed at just how deep, critical, and weird this movie was able to get. I truly had no idea where it was going. Funnier and sillier than I expected but am so thrilled that this wasn’t a generic cash-in.

Lupin the Third: The Mystery of Mamo (1978) Years ago I saw a poster by Sam Bosma and that was both my first introduction to Lupin and the reason I wanted to check him out as a character. Going in mostly blind (aside from knowing the main character is a master thief), this movie was weirder, hornier, and way more avant garde than I was expecting! Some really cool animation on display and while the pacing is up and down, I can’t recommend it enough. The main villain reminded me of a mix between Akira’s espers and Paul Williams and turns out Swan from Phantom of the Paradise was an inspiration! So wild.

……….TELEVISION……….

Jury Duty (Episode 1.01 to 1.04) The premise is fun and just when I thought it was starting to dip it turns out the fictional case is compelling too so I’m BACK! Very keen to see how the season ends and what Ronald makes of this in the end.

Mashle (Episode 1.01 to 1.12) This series seems to answer the question: what if Harry Potter was a meathead with no magic? It didn’t really hooked me and the characters are kinda thin but it has moments of wonderful goofiness that I’m glad I finished out the season.

The Bear (Episode 1.04 to 1.08) Just when I thought the show was getting less stressful, the characters pointed out that fact! Then the following episodes ramped up the stress again. But it never feels contrived or unnatural. Everything, from the humor to the stakes to the character interactions, feels wholly organic. Like we’re watching real people live out real lives. I dunno I guess what I’m saying is it’s really good.

……….YOUTUBE……….

Why American Cities Are Broke - The Growth Ponzi Scheme [ST03] by Not Just Bikes VIDEO (Title if needed) I’ve been watching a lot of videos about transit lately (like this series by Vox) but the above video is probably the most important one you can watch. His entire Strong Towns series is great and succinctly explains why north american cities suck and keep getting worse. Vote for elected officials that push for density.

What if We Had a GREAT X-Men Game? by The Cosmonaut Variety Hour VIDEO Real shift from bikes and cities but I keep thinking about this video. Speculative stuff rarely hits for me but this is really great and hits all the right notes for the series. Really wish this sorta stuff could get made.

……….READING……….

Bullshit Jobs by David Graeber (Complete) I think it was a mistake to keep the original article/essay that inspired this book at the beginning. I found the points made were clearer and more succinct in the condensed version and the book’s tone seems to waffle. There are some good ideas in here but I think it needed more time in the oven. If anything, read the article and the last chapter and I think you’d be good.

……….AUDIO……….

Lofi Covers of Popular Songs (Playlist) I’ve been writing a lot lately so I haven’t been engaging with a lot of music. HOWEVER this playlist on spotify has been on in the background and offers the perfect balance for me: not distracting but engaging if I focus on it.

……….GAMING……….

Oz: A Fantasy Role-Playing Setting (Andrews McMeel Publishing) The Mof1 Crew is currently on the run after the retiring couple they kidnapped escaped but I’m sure everything will work out just fine.

Neverland: A Fantasy Role-Playing Setting (Andrews McMeel Publishing) The group is still navigating a group of elves on the island and seeing what happens now that they’ve let their star-collecting duties slip. Big trouble. You can read about it here.

And that’s it. See you in August!

[zz-chikorita]

Your characters are in a zombie apocalypse. They've already secured food and weapons and a safe zone and everything is going good, so now they can actually think about what to go out and retrieve that will be a fun thing or just something they specifically want to get to enrich their lives. I know that Guzma would put the kids first, but AFTER doing nice shit for them and if Plumeria basically forces him to go get whatever is the thing he wants for himself, what would he get? And what would Plumeria and Leon get?

Oh! Oh! I've got it!!!!

Guzma:

Surprising many people, Guzma would get himself some sick new threads. Although, when ya think about it, it's not that surprising; he's a show off! His light hair and skin plus absurd height and stature that always turned heads (and once felt like a curse) he now gladly uses to fill his ego. And it doesn't have to be expensive shit, just anything that looks good; anything from suits to street wear. Plus, the way he sees it, surviving a zombie apocalypse don't mean he can't look fine as hell! What was that video game where you're fighting zombies in a mall? Dead Rising, I think? Yeah, just imagine that but it's Guz trying on awesome clothes while seamlessly beating zombies down with a lead pipe when they interrupt him.

(ZZ Top's Sharp Dressed Man playing over the montage of Guz ransacking various department stores)

***Plums and Lee under cut***

Plumeria:

Plums would compile a massive collection of books and other physical media like CDs and DVDs. The preservation of both culture and knowledge is important in a zombie apocalypse! Plus, she gonna need some sort of entertainment to survive safe house life with these numbskulls. Plus plus, those who control the flow of knowledge, control everything. (Not as nefarious as it sounds, at least in her hands)

(Beyoncé's Run the World plays during the montage of her delegating groups of grunts to gather and organize all her spoils)

Leon:

Very little known fact about Leon... he's a major car guy. He doesn't know a ton of technical knowledge about them aside from what can be transferred over about tractor maintenance, but we all know Leon's a fast learner and, if he puts his mind to something, he gives it 120%. But, "why does he have such a fascination with cars", you may ask. Maybe it's just because he grew up in such a rural area or maybe it's from watching hours and hours of Unovan action films, bored, cooped up in the various hotel rooms he frequented in his early days in the league. Maybe it has something to do with how he absolutely loves the thrill of riding Charizard at breakneck speeds. Or, maybe he just thinks they look cool as fuck and that they'll make him look cool as fuck too. Hell, he thought he was gonna drool on himself the first time he saw Guzma on his chopper! But, long story short, he gets himself a car that is fast, strong, and sexy. Yessir, Leon finds and mods himself what is essentially the post-apocalyptic, zombie-killing version of the beloved poekani "carizard".

(His montage music for finding and working on the car is Ginuwine's Pony no I do not take constructive criticism)

[ultrabananapudding]

// Long rant (transphobia)

Coming in here hot bc I need to get this off my chest before I explode lmao

Just watched a YouTube video detailing the Failure of the the Fantastic Beast Franchise and up until the last segment I thought the dude made some solid observations which made it an enjoyable listen

It's not until he starts speaking about the Harry Potter author herself that my positive impression of this channel kinda crumbled.

The moment he said "everything is so political nowadays" I knew immediately where the conversation was heading.

Unless you actually know what insane shit she has been saying, the dude was so god damn vague about the exact statements she has made that if you didn't know any better it would seem like the "hate" she gets is unwarranted.

He brings up how the boycott of the recent wizard game was a failure and is "sad how no one can have an opinion anymore" and I'm like huh ????

Not ONCE does he bring up the word "transphobic" but only relies on calling the things she had said "opinions".

His language was so deceptive and frankly cowardly so he could manage to stay "neutral" in a way of which his audience would praise and applaud him for.

Let's not take into account of how her "opinions" are advocating for actual death of a group of people.

And to act as if people who are rightfully upset over the continuous support of a women who funds for such hateful groups as just the biproduct of cancel culture is insane to me.

Ofc the only comment below the video which brings up how the dude kept downplaying her hatred towards Trans ppl as just her "opinions" got the response of "imagine getting cancelled for believing in biology".

Really God damn annoyed i tell you, and as much as I want to leave a comment detailing my frustration under the video I have a feeling I will get dogpiled by absolute imbeciles so Imma just let it out all here

Already got that channel off my radar and now with this rant I feel a bit better which is nice.

Film bros content on YouTube walks on such a fine line of having actually constructive criticism while still being empathetic and then there are the ones who disguise their hatred for today's sociopolitical climate as constructive criticism.

[watching-pictures-move]

Movie Review | Stealth (Cohen, 2005)

I’d been meaning to check this out after the Corridor Crew YouTube channel featured a scene in one of their videos that I thought looked kinda fun. The fact that this has numerous scenes of the evil robot plane blasting nu metal that it illegally downloaded from the internet while blowing things up left and right means that in some ways this represents the apotheosis of nu metal cinema. The way I judge garbage like this is whether it moves fast enough that you don’t have to think too hard about what’s happening. Whether it gets my synapses firing, as I may have said elsewhere. It’s the only genre better suited to being watched while sick.

Unfortunately I was feelin’ fine while watching this and found it pretty boring. While the cropped transfer on Tubi probably didn’t help, this is paced like death, doesn’t have enough visual flair to make any of this look cool, and has the smugness/charisma ratio of the heroes severely out of whack. Only Jessica Biel is tolerable because she doesn’t seem to be actively douchey, but the absence of unlikable qualities does not mean the presence of likeable ones. It’s a little sad to see Sam Shepard holed up in the control room trying to do some actual acting, but I’m sure he cried all the the way to the bank. Probably funded a few more plays with his paycheque.

I will say that there are times when the effects take on an accidentally psychedelic quality, and there are frames from this that would look great taken out of context by one of those “one perfect shot” social media accounts. Nobody is tripping over themselves to make a case for Rob Cohen these days, and with good reason. But it’s a little surprising that a decade ago, when a certain strain of online critic was busy jerking off Paul W. S. Anderson and the like, that none of them went to bat for this garbage. But I guess some directors are too lame for vulgar auteurism. Like there’s no piece titled “The Dystopia is Now: The Dismal Visions of Andrzej Bartkowiak”. Nobody hammered out an essay like this:

“Cohen reconciles the inherent contradiction at the heart of militaristic cinema - admiration for the courage of the warrior class and a jaundiced view of their leadership and American foreign policy - with the technological fetishism of the 2000s mass market blockbuster, offering a more skeptical and nuanced alternative to the giddy, uncomplicated Bayhemian visions dominating the cinematic landscape during the decade. Its critical and commercial failure only proved his thesis correct, as the truths his film offered were too raw for audiences to swallow.”

Anyway if anyone is writing a piece about Stealth, feel free to quote that out of context.

[cleoenfaserum]

RUNAWAY (1984) 

99 min | Action, Crime, Sci-Fi IMdB 5.9

See the movie first and take the critics with a grain of salt. I am not saying not to heed the critics, in this gargantuan world wide production of films, we need guidance to avoid wasting our time in watching a shitty film which may not be rewarding to you. Tom Selleck is an actor I follow because he is one of the few stars that exudes charisma. We all at one time or another may have a bad day. After all, we are humans.

In the near future, a police officer specializes in malfunctioning robots. When a robot turns out to have been programmed to kill, he begins to uncover a homicidal plot to create killer robots... and his son becomes a target.

Director: Michael Crichton | Stars: Tom Selleck, Cynthia Rhodes, Gene Simmons, Kirstie Alley Writer & Director

Runaway is a 1984 American science fiction action film written and directed by Michael Crichton. The story is about a police officer assigned to track down dangerous robots, while a scientist who hopes to profit from his manipulation of robots. Runaway (1984 American film) - Wikipedia

1012 link: https://ok.ru/video/2887813434093

The film received mixed reviews. Janet Maslin of The New York Times said, "Mr. Crichton has a much better feel for the gadgets than its human players." Kevin Thomas of The Los Angeles Times called it "assured, thoroughly cinematic filmmaking, its flourish of ingenious gadgetry not overwhelming its human dimension." Gene Siskel of The Chicago Tribune thought the movie began "excitingly" but "descended into a routine chase thriller" in which Selleck was a poor lead ("he's too nice, too familiar to be a big star in the movies"). At the Movies gave Runaway two thumbs down. Roger Ebert thought that Selleck and Simmons gave "good performances" but the film quickly became mired in cliches, while Gene Siskel thought the core premise was intriguing but the film was poorly executed.

Neil Gaiman reviewed Runaway for Imagine magazine, and stated that "The race to outwit the cybernetic psycho is gripping stuff, mostly, with a terrifying showdown atop an unfinished skyscraper; and as the hero cop with no head for heights, Selleck is fine. In between, he spends too much time just being a heart-throb."

On Rotten Tomatoes, it has a rating of 48% based on reviews from 23 critics.

Kirstie Alley earned a 1984 Saturn Award nomination for Best Supporting Actress for her performance. Runaway (1984 American film) - Wikipedia

REF 1012

[geekgemsspooksandtoons]

I just saw Fast X

This isn't going to be a detailed review or anything. But I will talk about the movie a bit, no spoilers. I went with my brother, my dad and my cousin. My brother bought the tickets, it was his idea. In all honesty, I don't hate this film series. While I surely get the criticism towards them. I strangely see them as kind of harmless entertainment. I strangely like the series; it can be entertaining. Not an all-time favorite of mine. But the Fast & Furious franchise is basically if Bayformers were actually entertaining without suffering certain things.

But...this film. Yet let me say this. This series lost any sort of "Realism" in earlier entries. But we really shouldn't give a shit about "Realism" sometimes. Despite how over the top this series has become. Yet it's this film that...this isn't really a spoiler or so. But this part 1 of a "Trilogy" because they confirmed there are two more entries in this series. And I should've taken the tagline seriously this time around.

I thought the film was fine. But...I'll say this, it was fast paced. There was some stuff I liked. But this series is at a time where to me personally, and I may sound stupid. You know all those memes where Dom faces impossible scenarios where he shouldn't be there. But he saves the day like a damn superhero?

This is the film that to me, where I feel like I'm done...I shouldn't say I'm done with this series. I don't really have a connection to it. But this is the entry where I'm like where I even told my brother that maybe they should've ended at Furious 7. And my brother said the film was "Nuts" and I agree with him. There were also some guys laughing as the movie was going...I assume they were noticing a similar thing. Because...I feel like the memes now are becoming true. Like...holy crap. I'm so dumbfounded by what I've seen...I worry I may sound hypocritical. But holy crap again...

We have two more entries. And I recall Vin Diesel wants Robert Downey Jr. in these movies, and watching a 3C Film's video and him talking about the possibility of a "Elon Musk" like villain...

During this whole movie or so, and I've been in this mood recently. You know what would make these movies more insane? Can we get a crossover with the Monsterverse where Dom considers Godzilla family? Can we make it overkill and add King Kong and Jet Jaguar into the mix too? Like, oh my God dude. I'm at this point where...I actually don't care. Can you make that film where I may give more of a...shit or just...

I remember joking with a friend about how Hollywood or whatever such as the Fast & Furious franchise is in its Showa era where it's so silly but oh my God. Holy crap, this franchise has become so insane that I feel dumbfounded now. I may change my thoughts...but oh my God.

But hey, it was nice seeing Daniela Melchior though. I always love seeing her.

[harry-on-broadway]

Tying You To Me: Chapter Twelve

Chapter Twelve

Word Count: 3.4K || Series Masterlist || Rating: M

A/N: What a week, huh? And what better way to reset than some new fic! 🥳 I’m very much in denial about this being the next to last chapter, but I’m still very excited to share the conclusion to Harry and Quinn’s story. Thank you all for reading! Can’t wait to hear what you think of this chapter! 

***

October 2021

“There’s my sexy girl,” Harry called as Quinn turned the deadbolt on her apartment door. He turned his attention back to the pot of simmering sauce in front of him.

“I told you not to make me anything,” Quinn said, removing her mask and heading to the bathroom to wash her hands.

“I know. But I also know that you probably haven’t eaten anything other than a bagel all day, so just let me feed you.”

Quinn shook her head, but she secretly loved Harry’s mother hen tendencies. It felt nice to be looked after after she spent the day doing that for everyone else. She climbed the stairs to her bedroom and quickly pulled on sweats and shirt, wanting to get downstairs and tuck into whatever Harry had made her. Despite her insistence that she wasn’t, she was in fact very hungry and based on the smells wafting through the apartment, it appeared that Harry was making penne alla vodka, her favorite.

“Plate’s on the table,” Harry called from the sink where he was washing dishes as Quinn bounded down the stairs. “Poured you a glass of wine as well.”

“Thank you, H.”

“Thought the premiere tonight was great,” Harry said.

“Really?”

“Yeah, you didn’t?”

“I mean, Kacey was great but the rest of the show was fine. Not our best.”

“Tough critic,” Harry said.

“I’m keeping us honest.” Quinn took a bite of the pasta and swallowed. “Are you going to come and sit with me, or what?” she asked, gesturing to the empty chair next to her.

“Bossy lady.”

“Please?”

Harry sighed. “If you insist.” He turned off the water at the sink and dried his hands before claiming the seat next to Quinn. “Better?” Quinn nodded and continued to eat.

It had been about six weeks since they had last seen each other. Quinn had been splitting her time between New York and London, staying stateside while SNL was in season, and meeting up with Harry in London during the hiatuses, while Harry divided his time between London and Los Angeles, taking on some film roles while waiting for touring to start up again. They’d spent a wonderful summer together, traveling throughout Europe, before Quinn returned to the city and Harry decamped to Los Angeles for long-awaited tour rehearsals.

When his tour started in September, Quinn surprised Harry at opening night, but had otherwise lived vicariously through updates from Jeff, Tom, and Tommy, who were surprisingly good about sending videos and pictures throughout each show. Harry had just wrapped up two nights in Nashville and had arrived in New York ahead of Sunday’s first show at MSG.

He’d gotten into the city earlier that day and made himself at home while Quinn spent the day at 30 Rock preparing for SNL’s season opener. The first week back was always tough, but getting to spend the next two nights cheering on Harry was the perfect way to celebrate surviving the week.

“For someone who said she wasn’t hungry you finished that awfully quick,” Harry said, eyeing Quinn’s empty plate.

“Any chance I could get some more?” she asked, holding up the dish.

“You already know the answer to that. Want to eat while we watch Below Deck?”

“And I think you know the answer to that.”

Quinn couldn’t lie. Being with Harry while he was touring was just as tough as it was the last time around, but thankfully they’d learned from past experience and had been able to work out weekly rituals that kept them close. Their favorite was FaceTimeing while eating dinner and watching Below Deck: Mediterranean each week, no matter how late it was when Harry got offstage and Quinn returned home. Harry had suggested saving their weekly watch party for when they were back together in person this week, and Quinn had to admit watching the program curled into Harry’s side while eating a delicious, home-cooked meal was the optimal viewing experience.

“Are you excited about tomorrow night? Although I guess it’s just tonight now,” Quinn said, glancing at the time on her phone.

“Yes.” Harry kept his gaze fixed on the TV, but tightened his arm around Quinn.

“You could sound a little more excited! What? You play MSG once and suddenly it’s passé?”

He shrugged. “A show’s a show. They’re all fun. But the real draw of New York these days is getting to be home with you, if I’m being honest.”

“I have missed seeing you,” Quinn said, words muffled as she pressed herself against Harry’s chest. “We got spoiled the past year.”

“I know, but it’s good that we’re doing this, right? Knowing that we can spend time apart and still be OK.” He turned away from the show to look at Quinn. “We are OK, right? You’d tell me if you weren’t?”

Quinn tilted her head up to kiss Harry. “We’re fine, H. I’m still allowed to miss you though.”

Harry looked deep into her eyes, before placing his hands on Quinn’s neck, pulling her close enough to kiss her. “I miss you, too, Agent Q,” he whispered against her lips. He kissed her again. “Let’s go upstairs.”

“Trying to get me into bed?”

“Yes, but not for the reason you think. I need to get at least some sleep before tonight.”

“Well, my schedule is clear tomorrow which means we can sleep in as late as you want.”

Quinn put her dish in the sink and followed Harry up the stairs. He’d already unpacked and his toothbrush and other toiletries were spread out on the bathroom counter. It was a bit of a mess, but after spending the better part of a year together, Quinn hated how empty things looked when they were apart. She could put up with the clutter if it meant Harry was around.

When they were finished, Quinn pulled back the duvet and Harry climbed into bed, arms open for her to slide into place. Quinn turned out the light and crawled into his hold. “Goodnight, H,” she whispered.

“Mhm, love you,” was his sleepy reply.

As her eyes adjusted to the dark, Quinn tried to fight sleep, wanting to take a few minutes to watch Harry. She could never do this when he was awake – he’d call her out for staring at him – but she wanted to pick up on all the small details that had changed over the past few weeks.

His hair was a little longer, the curls at the base of his neck just starting to flip up, and his summer tan was fading, freckles starting to disappear. She doubted she would have noticed these things if she was still spending each day with him, but the new scarcity of these shared moments had her hyper-aware. His lips were slightly parted and he was wheezing gently, a sure sign that he was out for the night and that she should do the same. She shifted gingerly to avoid disturbing him and once she was comfortable, she allowed his snores to lull her to sleep.

***

The downside of Harry coming to New York on tour was that it also meant he would have to leave too soon.

Quinn enjoyed the two concerts. Harry was next level, mixing up his unofficial tour uniform, throwing water, and jumping all over the stage. But his impending departure was lurking in the back of her mind as she sang along and danced with the rest of his team. Monday night was especially bittersweet. Harry kissed her over and over again in bed that night as he reassured her that two weeks was not that long and he’d be back before she had a chance to miss him.

He was right.

The next two weeks kept Quinn plenty busy. Work was non-stop with four consecutive weeks of live shows and Quinn filling in for colleagues who were taking advantage of the new opportunity to take leave to pursue other projects. And when she wasn’t at her office, she was spending all of her free time catching up with friends she hadn’t seen in months. Everyone wanted to know how things were going with her and Harry and when she was planning to make a permanent move to London. Through the madness, she kept Saturday the 16th circled on her calendar though, counting down the days until Harry would be back. She wouldn’t be able to go to the concert – SNL had a live show that night –  but Harry had blocked out the entirety of the next day for them to spend together.

Saturday rolled around and she had retreated to her office for an afternoon break, scrolling on her phone to text Harry several options for post-show eats, when someone knocked on the doorframe of her office. She looked up to see Lorne standing in front of her.

“Do you have a minute?” he asked.

“Oh, yes, come in.” Even though Quinn was approaching five years at the show, Lorne still unnerved her. It was sort of like when the school principal checked up on you – even if you were on good terms, you were always slightly on edge when he paid you a visit.

“How’re things?”

“Good. Good.” The small talk was not easing her anxiety.

“How’s Harry? Saw he’s back in the city.”

“He’s great. Tour’s been going well and his third show at MSG is tonight. He’ll be back at the end of the month as well for a couple of Halloween shows.”

“Fun. I heard you all have been spending more time in London?”

“Er, yes. We set up camp there for a bit last year while things were still shut down and we spent the summer there as well.”

“You’ve been together for four years?”

This conversation was painful. Like talking to a distant relative who was obligated to ask you questions about your personal life because you were related. “Closer to three but we’ve known each other longer.”

Lorne looked at her and Quinn wasn’t sure if she was supposed to speak again. He thankfully broke the silence. “Do you have any interest in moving to London with him?”

“I mean, I’m uh. We’ve talked about it, but haven’t really found a way to make that work given my work schedule.”

“I see.” Lorne looked at her intently. “How would you feel if I said I have a solution to your problem?”

“I’d be surprised, that's for sure.”

“Well, Quinn, I'm going to tell you something. We haven’t started sharing this externally yet, so please use discretion if you choose to share this with anyone.” He waited for Quinn to acknowledge his words, continuing after she nodded.

“We’re looking to launch a version of the show in the UK,” he said plainly. “It’s something I’ve been thinking about for years, but it’s tricky, trying to keep what makes SNL SNL, but adapt it so audiences across the pond still like it. We’ve got the OK to start developing it, we just need to put a team together. I suggested your name as EP.”

Quinn stared at Lorne. She could see his lips moving, but all she could hear was a roaring in her ears. He, Lorne Michaels, had suggested her for the role of executive producer. And not only was he offering her something that would help her achieve the professional goals she had for herself, he was also giving her the gift of being able to settle down with Harry in a way neither of them thought was possible.

He was offering her everything she’d ever dreamed of.

“Seriously?” she asked in disbelief.

“You were the only person I thought of. You’ve earned this.”

“Wow,” Quinn said. “I can’t believe this.”

“Obviously we’d hope for the best but if the show ended up failing, you would of course be welcomed back here. But I wanted to give you this opportunity since I knew you would be the one with the biggest reason to take it. The job is yours if you want it.”

“Thank you,” was all Quinn managed to say.

“We don’t need an answer today, but think it over. Come find me if you want to talk.” He stood. “See you at dress.”

Lorne exited her office, softly closing the door behind him.

Quinn reached for her phone, fingers opening her message thread with Harry as if on autopilot. She started to type out the words CALL ME, but deleted them before she could hit send. She didn’t need to distract him before tonight. They could discuss it later.

Figuring coffee would do her some good, Quinn went down to Starbucks to order a drink from their fall menu, mind racing as she brought the beverage upstairs. She was sitting at her desk, staring at her monitor, when a hand waved in front of her face.

“Jesus, you scared me,” she jumped as she glanced up at Marcus.

“I only called your name about five times,” Marcus said, plopping down on the chair where Lorne had been sitting, scrolling through his phone.

“Sorry, I just have a lot on my mind.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Quinn thought about saying something, but held her tongue. This felt like a conversation she needed to have with Harry before she started telling everyone else.

“No, I think I should talk to Harry first.”

“Are there some Roberts-Styles babies on the way?”

“No, Marcus! Why does your mind always go to pregnant before anything else?”

“Because you all would have some cute kids.”

Quinn chucked a balled up piece of paper at him.

Her mind was still racing as she walked home that night, opening the door to find a freshly showered and shirtless Harry rifling through the bag of takeout that had been delivered minutes before arrival.”

“Hey, love,” he said cheerfully, not sounding like a man who’d just spent the better part of the evening running around the stage, receiving the adoration of thousands. He pulled some foil-wrapped pita bread from the bag. “It’s still warm but I can heat it up if you want.”

Quinn shook her head and went upstairs to change, returning to find the table set and Harry filling up two glasses with water. Harry was chatty as they ate, recounting his show and offering his opinion on that night’s episode of SNL, which he’d been able to catch live when he came home.

Quinn smiled and responded when appropriate, but internally she was trying to figure out how to tell Harry what had happened. She didn’t know why she was nervous – he’d be thrilled to have her in London on a more permanent basis – but she felt jittery all over.

After finishing their food, they retired upstairs for the evening and found themselves kissing in bed, Harry on top of Quinn, rolling his hips against her, seeking friction. She tried to clear her mind, focusing on the lazy passes of Harry’s tongue in her mouth, the way his fingertips felt against the sensitive spot under her ribs, and the heat that was pooling at her core, but no matter how much she tried to stay present she couldn’t.

Harry rolled off of her, sloughing off his own sweats and briefs, and Quinn followed his lead, tossing her shorts and panties off to the side, making what she hoped was a contented sigh when Harry climbed back on top of her.

“You good?” he asked quizzically.

“Mmmhmm, just feels relaxing, that’s all.”

“Oh, yeah.” Harry said. “Relaxing.” He looked at her skeptically as if that was the wrong mood for the evening. He moved his lips to her neck and his fingers to her folds, swiping along, trying to collect whatever wetness was present. He ran his fingers up and down her core and occasionally circled her clit as he sucked kiss after kiss from the column of her throat.

His touches felt good, but try as she might, Quinn could not get over the mental block of this afternoon. She could feel her body responding as it should. She was getting wetter and she could feel her nipples peaking under the thin material of her sleep shirt, but she knew deep down that nothing Harry could do would get her to cross the finish line tonight.

She could feel the pinch of him entering her, and inadvertently hissed at the feeling, causing Harry to pull out immediately.

“OK, are you going to tell me why you have that look on your face?” he asked as he looked down at Quinn.

“What look? There is no look.”

“Yeah, there is. It’s the look you have when you try to break up with me.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Quinn pushed herself up onto her elbows. “I do not have a break-up face.”

“You do! You get this sad, stressed out look on your face. It happened when we broke up, and then again when you tried to dump me for the second time two years ago. Your eyes get kind of glassy and you have this vacant stare. You also tune everything out because your mind is going at warp speed.”

Quinn looked up at him. His fringe was hanging down and in the moment, she was a little overwhelmed by how attuned Harry was to her tells. She reached up to smooth his hair back. “You know me too well.”

“Of course. It’s my job. So tell me what’s up.”

Quinn rolled onto her side and Harry did the same, resting his hand on her hip, stroking it gently.

“Lorne offered me a job today.”

“Like a promotion?”

Quinn nodded. “Sort of. He said they are planning on starting a new version of SNL in the UK and they need to put a team together to run the show. He submitted my name for the EP role. If I take it, I’d be working out of London. Full-time”

“Oh.” Harry tried to keep his neutral. “That’s great.”

“You’re allowed to look happy, Harry,” Quinn said with a laugh. “I figured this would get you excited.”

“I mean, yeah, that’s great, it seems like it would be the perfect situation for us. We get to be together and you can keep doing the job you love.”

“That’s exactly what I thought,” Quinn said, not meeting his eyes.

“But something’s holding you back.”

Quinn nodded again. “I couldn’t put my finger on it, but the more I think about it, it’s more than my job that’s keeping me here. I have friends, family, and a home that I’ve made for myself.” She chewed on her lip. “But, I also have that in London now.”

“You do.” He pressed his forehead against Quinn’s. “Home is where you decide it is though. It could be New York, London, LA, or Minnesota. As long as you have what you need, that’s what makes it home.” He kissed her gently. “If you come to London, I’d be over the moon, but I’d feel the same way if you wanted to stay here. We’ve proven that we can make this work regardless of where we are and we’ll continue to do that. You don’t have to make this decision for me. You have to make it for yourself.”

Quinn surged forward, wrapping herself around Harry’s body so tightly they looked like one being. “I love you for saying that but I also hate you.”

“Figured you would,” Harry said with a grin.

***

Quinn woke up the next morning to find the smell of pancakes and eggs wafting upstairs. When she peeked over the railing, she saw Harry, stationed behind the cooktop, focused on flipping the flapjacks.

“Morning, sunshine,” he called cheerily, waving to Quinn.

“How long have you been up?” she asked, climbing down the stairs.

“About an hour. Thought we could do a big breakfast and maybe do some shopping later. Have you been to that new vintage shop yet?”

Quinn shook her head as she picked up the mug of coffee Harry had prepared for her. “You’d probably find some great things there. Lisa said she’s been getting a lot of vintage tees there recently.”

“Oh, nice.”

Quinn could tell Harry wanted to discuss the news she’d shared the previous night, but didn’t want to press. She’d turned Lorne’s offer over and over in her head as Harry had peacefully slept beside her and after hours of contemplation she felt like she finally had an answer.

“I’ve been thinking about last night,” Quinn said as she watched Harry expertly maneuver the spatula under the pancake, flipping it at exactly the right moment.

“And?” Harry looked up from the pan and locked eyes with Quinn.

“I think I’ve made a decision.”

***

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[arcanadreams]

That time you and your demon boyfriend went viral

hi yes hello obey me fandom!! my name is Gabbi and i have never played a single second of the actual game but i have read enough fanon content for the past year to have this idea swimming around in my head and now i am finally letting this accursed thing out of my brain and putting it in yours

also i’m only doing the brothers because any more than that and i’d have an aneurysm probably. oh and shoutout to @obeythebutler and @beels-burger-babe for inspiring me with their works to feel brave enough to write for this fandom

Lucifer:

You and Lucifer go viral on Asmo’s Devilgram story!

You’re in the kitchen helping Asmo with dinner duty and singing along to one of your playlists of human realm music that you like to show him.

Asmo starts filming your cute little dance while you stir the pot on the stove because you are just adorable!

About ten seconds into him filming, Lucifer appears in the doorway with quite the stern look on his face. You know, the one that comes right before a “MAMMOOOOOON” and strikes fear into the heart of all those with functioning eardrums. That one.

He opens his mouth, presumably to tell y’all to shut the fuck up, but then there’s a lull in the music and the eldest can hear your voice ever so slightly above the song’s vocalist and he freezes.

Man stops in his tracks like someone just smacked him in the face with a midair volleyball.

Asmo can be heard stifling a laugh behind his phone.

Lucifer’s face gets so soft and he almost, almost, loosens his metal-rod-through-the-ass posture before you notice him and give a little wave and ask if you and Asmo were being too loud like the considerate darling you are.

Lucifer clears and his throat and says something like, “No, you aren’t. I was just coming to check on how dinner is coming along,” and leaves, after which Asmo immediately presses the post button.

Screenshots of Lucifer’s heart eyes for you go absolutely viral because every demon on Devilgram goes absolutely feral for seeing the eldest demon brother lose his dignified composure. It becomes a meme template. “Get you someone who looks at you like Lucifer looks at MC” and “me at the delivery demon when he shows up with my spicy bat wings” posts become commonplace. (Asmo thinks the memes are totally worth getting strung up with Mammon for laughing at them.)

Mammon:

Much like Lucifer, you and Mammon end up going viral off Asmo’s Devilgram. (Noticing a pattern here?) 

He pulls a silly prank on your asses and honestly I don’t know how you fell for it. But hey, they say “idiots in love” for a reason, so...

You and Asmo are sitting in the common room of the House of Lamentation just chillin. Well, he’s chillin, you’re on the floor studying for an upcoming exam.

The video starts in the middle of a conversation you and the avatar of lust were having.

“No, Asmo,” you say. “Mammon and I don’t use pet names for each other.” Now that’s just a darn lie, and every demon and crow within ten miles of Mammon and you together knows it.

“Really? I find that very hard to believe, MC.~” 

You sigh in response to Asmo’s teasing. “Okay, he has a lot for me but I’m just not much of a pet name person, y’know?” The rest of the exchange goes like this:

“Oh, I totally get it.” *pause* “Hey MC, what do human world bees make again?”

“Honey.”

Cue a sheepish Mammon sticking his head in the doorway at the bluntness of your tone when you answered Asmo.

“Yeah, babe?” he looks like a puppy left on the side of a highway oh my god hUG HIM-

Asmo turns the camera back to his smug ass face and in the background you can be heard tripping on the damn carpet trying to get up and hug your mans. (”MAMMON GET OVER HERE SO I CAN HUG YOU” “W-WHAT? I THOUGHT YA WERE MAD AT ME?!?!?!?!”)

Leviathan:

Streamer Levi? Streamer Levi.

You guys go viral the first time you make an appearance on one of Levi’s weekly (insert cool Devildom streaming service name here) streams. 

It’s completely unintentional. You had been asking him for weeks to play with him on there, but he’s the avatar of envy after all. He doesn’t like sharing his partner, even if it’s with random strangers who have no real access to you.

However, he has his stream on a Thursday instead of a Friday one week, and you come into his room carrying dinner because 1) You didn’t realize he was streaming and 2) No matter what he was doing, the boy needed to eat. It wasn’t unusual for you to bring him dinner, so you had no idea why he was blushing and stammering even more than usual this time in particular. Boy was speaking in beached whale trying to tell you what was wrong.

Then you notice his screen. Oh! “Hi chat!” You wave, setting Levi’s food down on his desk in front of his keyboard. “M-MC!” He full-on whines, slamming a hand over his mouth afterwards when he remembers his viewers could hear that.

Honestly, they’d meme the fuck out of him if it weren’t for the fact that they are FINALLY SEEING HIS HENRY!!! THE MYSTERIOUS MC!!!

Chat is bombarding you with questions while you make Levi eat dinner. And by make him eat dinner, I mean literally feeding this man forkfuls/spoonfuls while he games because you love how flustered he gets when you do that. 

Does it impact his score? Absolutely. Does he care? Not really when you’re pampering him like that.

You start answering chat’s questions about you while he’s chewing so he can’t tell you to stop LMAO-

You’re a natural on stream. The VOD becomes the most popular on Levi’s account in a matter of hours and soon cute highlights compilations of you and him on that stream start making the rounds on Devildom Twitter.

Satan:

There was buildup to Satan going viral, similar to Levi in a way. 

Satan does have a Devilgram, but it’s basically a white woman’s Instagram with added book reviews for variety. Unless you’re a reader his account is pretty boring: candles, books, fireplaces, and cats.

However, after you two started reading together fairly often he began posting pictures of your legs draped over his while you sat together. They’d always be captioned with vague ass pretentious literary criticism. 

This goes on for months, and he gains a lot of (horny) followers after the leg pics start up. He doesn’t really get why but you both joke that it’s because you have some damn nice legs and I mean neither of you are complaining about the new following.

You two go viral when he finally shows your face, entirely by accident.

The post is a video, which is already strange for him and grabs attention. In it, you’re scoffing and reading an excerpt of a book, mocking its understanding of female anatomy.

“I’m quoting here, Satan: ‘her breasts bouncing around like giant pacmen.’ I’M SORRY?? THAT ISN’T HOW BOOBS WORK SIR. WHY ARE MEN ALLOWED TO WRITE?” 

(fun fact that is a very real quote from a very real book I really read last month pls save me)

Originally the camera is focused on your body, with your head out of frame to protect your privacy, but your righteous anger made Satan laugh. Like, a real laugh. The one that makes you and everyone in earshot wonder if he truly was never an angel cause he sure as hell laughs like one but anyway-

When he threw his head back, his DDD angled up just a tad without him noticing, and your face was in view for like .2 seconds. Screenshots of it are making the rounds on Devilgram almost immediately: FINALLY THE LEGS’ OWNER HAS BEEN FOUND.

Satan apologizes profusely but you honestly find it funny and you two opt to just start taking selfies while reading with both of your faces in them from now on. 

Asmodeus:

I’m gonna be real with you: you and Asmo go viral all the time. Pretty much everything Asmo posts can be considered viral because of his social media following and his status as one of the seven avatars of sin.

However, there are some fairly cute highlights to be pointed out among the times you were both featured in a post that blew up.

Your favorite is probably that time Asmo livestreamed on of you guys’ ‘Nail Nites,’ as you call them.

You’re both on the floor, doing your nails and kicking your feet back and forth while talking to chat. A lot of the questions are about your relationship, and there’s a lot of flirting back and forth between the two of you.

A particular clip of the stream does blow the fuck up on Devilgram, though, when someone screen records it and posts it with a bunch of heart emojis edited over it.

“’What colors do you think best describe each other?’ Ooo, that’s a good one, chat!” Asmo claps his hands together excitedly, making sure to be  careful of his nails.

Pretty much everyone expected you to say pink, but you surprised both your boyfriend and your viewers when, after a pensive few moments, you replied with “Hmm...probably yellow or orange.”

“Can I ask why, darling?” Asmo tilts his head in confusion. I mean, yeah, those colors look good on him, but he doesn’t wear them often so he’s wondering about your thought process. 

“Well, in the human world those colors often represent happiness, optimism, and positivity. You’re always the cheerful presence I need in my life when things get hard, so you have the vibe of those colors.”

Asmo proceeds to burst into tears and hug you, messing up both of your nails and prolonging the stream since you both have to start over. But neither of you particularly care. 

Fun fact: Asmo has the clip that demon made of that portion of the stream saved on his DDD and watches it whenever he feels sad.

Beelzebub:

Beel and you probably go the most viral out of everybody. Like this moment is an entire phenomenon across the Devildom internet. 

It’s a video, or well, multiple videos, taken at the end of a Fangol game that Beel’s team had just won. Everyone is cheering and going crazy, yourself included, and you just really wanted to congratulate your boyfriend.

So, like the rational person you are, you elect to climb up onto the railing of the bleachers and wave to get his attention. 

You were absolutely fine up there, and sat all comfortably motioning Beel over to you. He notices, of course, and jogs over, standing right beneath you and looking up. (Back where you were sitting, Mammon is screeching like a hyena in heat and Belphie, who is laying down, has one eye open to glare at him. The youngest knows Beel would never let you hurt yourself; you’re fine.)

A bunch of assorted demons at the game has started filming while you were sat atop the railing since you were rather noticeable. Therefore, there’s a shit ton of different angles of the adorable events that follow:

You slide off the railing, landing right in Beel’s waiting arms bridal style. You’ve got this brilliant smile on your face as you pull his helmet off. None of the DDDs filming can hear it over the crowd noise, but Beel asks you why you just went through all that trouble and you tell him it’s because you wanted to tell him how proud you are.

Soft boy’s chest puffs up and he smiles this big cheesy smile at you reach up to run a hand through his hair. You feel him practically purr at the contact, and with a laugh you pull him in and plant a big ole smooch on him.

The crowd, at least those of them that can see, scream. Everyone is running high on adrenaline and happy emotions; something that cute causes a ruckus!! When you pull away Beel proceeds to put you on his shoulders and you celebrate with him and the rest of his team.

The videos of you two being adorable go completely viral and there are some threads dedicated to stockpiling every single angle taken of the event. Beel is completely oblivious to the attention but you have a lot of them saved on your DDD.

Belphegor:

If you think Belphegor has any sort of social media presence whatsoever then you are sorely mistaken. (Well okay he actually does run some anonymous troll accounts to meme on Lucifer’s posts but that’s neither here nor there-)

Therefore, naturally, you two go viral off of Asmo’s Devilgram. 

Okay so someone in the obey me tag the other say headcanoned that Belphie will go out of his way to nap in ridiculous places and my brain really took that and RAN WITH IT.

So what happens is that Belphie will fall asleep in the fucking weirdest places. I’m talking on top of the fridge, underneath the dinner table, on top of bookshelves...you name it, he has slept there, no matter the effort it takes to get there in the first place. 

And, ever since you two started dating, you would join him. Sometimes it involved putting yourself at risk of great bodily harm, but the little smile he gave when you he saw you fucking scaling the countertop to reach him made it worth it.

So anyway, since Beel adores the both of you to no end, he takes pictures whenever he sees you two napping together, whether or not it is in a crazy place. He sends these to the family group chat because he thinks they’re adorable.

Over a span of weeks to months, Asmo has built up a stock of images of you and Belphie cuddles up in seemingly impossible places. Once he has about ten or so, he posts a compilation of them to his Devilgram with some cheesy ass caption like “The things we do for love <3″.

They become a meme SO QUICKLY. Like UNBELIEVABLY quickly. 

The picture of you and Belphie sleeping on top of a bookshelf, in particular, is a big hit. Memes abound.

“If my girl doesn’t climb up a bookshelf to cuddle my ass, she don’t love me.” “Get yourself a partner who scales bookshelves just to be with your ass.” Etc etc...Belphie doesn’t give a shit but you laugh at a lot of them so he sees that as a good outcome.

[munsnz]

Bittersweet Critic — Steve Harrington ☘︎︎

TW: Cussing??

Requested: None

Pairing: Steve Harrington x GN! Reader

Lydinous Radio: Bittersweet— Kennen

Summary: Steve is sick and tired after working at Family Video for months after the Starcourt incident. Christmas break comes up, meaning more people coming over to their homes. Unlike him, a witty college student comes by for an odd request, making him look like that douche from years back. Days later, he finds this person again, wanting to apologize for the prude actions from the previous..

Masterlist — Requests are open!

Another boring day.

Cold everywhere.

Showing where the bathroom was.

Rummaging through movie posters.

Checking out the pretty girls.

Organizing VHS shelves.

Another Thursday in the cold mornings in Hawkins, Indiana. Steve Harrington had been sick of working at Family Video after working here for 3 months since the incident in July. Now he and Robin were taking different shifts in days and rarely got time to work together at the same times. Watching the customers coming in and out of the store, he sighed due to boredom working there. He would’ve been off to college, possibly coming back for Christmas Break since everyone was coming home for Christmas. More families and couples came in and out of the store now, happy-looking faces, and cheerful moods. Steve realized how lonely he was, after his heartbreak with Nancy, the rejection from Robin, just grew on him, leaving him with the group of kids he mentally adopted. Where was he going with his life now? Was there a possible future for him? Is there-

“Hello? Are you deaf or something?”

The voice made him snap out of his thoughts and feelings to find a conventional rather good-looking person who stood upon him. Steve shakes his head to focus on his attention. “Sorry I was..... I was.....”

”Distracted?” You smiled at him and tapped your fingers on the counter.

Steve nods at your response and shrugs, “I suppose you’re correct.”

“I’m always correct,” You boasted while trying to sound humble about it. There was a silent chuckle shared between the two of you, but continued with the silence, “Anywho, I was wondering if you could give me a good movie recommendation.”

”A what now?” He questioned while being throughly confused by the weird request given by this person who he had just met in 5 minutes.

You sigh at his reaction and lean closer, “I need a good movie recommendation.”

”Oh... Oh...Right,” Steve looks around, trying to remember the movies he’s seen. Although working at a video store, it was hard to keep up with the most popular movies nowadays. He snaps with his fingers and looks up at you, “Back to the future is a good one.”

”I’ve watched it and it wasn’t that good.”

Well, there went one shot. Steve tried to keep concentration in this memory from the last film he saw while dozing off to look at you. Realizing another movies, he chuckles, “Star Wars?”

”A new hope?” You say, furrowing your eyebrows. It reminded Steve when he first got the job at this shithole.

”I don’t really know,” He mumbles, digging his fingers into his hair and watches you cross your arms.

“Well isnt this store supposed to have good staff that actually know a bit about film?”

Steve squints his eyes and clicks his tongue, “Well, I’m just a teenage boy who couldn’t get into college and is trying to earn a living, so I don’t know much.”

“Oh,” You sigh, looking down at your feet, and slide your paper from a notebook harshly across the counter, “Thanks for the help dipshit.”

”Are you a movie critic or something?” He desperately blurts out, wanting to continue to talk to someone,making you turn back to him.

In awe, you look at him up and down, sternly as you said, “I’m not, but I’m studying to work in the film industry in the future as if I’m here to fill out this assignment about the public’s perception on movies, but it’s okay if you don’t want to help, you don’t seem like it.”

”No! It’s actually okay,” Steve apologizes, softening his face and extended his hand to give him the paper, “I really got nothing else to do.”

You watched his hand, almost with pleading eyes to do something in such boredom he was in. After a hot minute of decided, you smiled and breathed to walk away to the exit of the store, “No thank you dipshit! Just remember first impressions are important!”

”What?” Steve gasps, with his mouth open at such rejection, watching you swiftly walk outside into your car to drive off. First impressions were important, he had looked like a total asshole in front of them. Now this was just a huge blow for him, no luck.

☘︎︎ ☘︎︎ ☘︎︎

“So..... what are you doing tomorrow?” Dustin questions, shuffling his feet in the snowy cement, putting his small hands in his pockets to avoid frostbite.

Steve sniffs, watching the people inside relaxing inside the cafe on a Tuesday morning in Hawkins, it was still Christmas break and now both guys were going to have their own day after the holidays.

”I don’t know, I’ll probably catch a movie,” He sighs, shivering in the snow falling on his hair. Watching the people inside, he sees that one familiar person. That movie critic. Different it was though, the person looked awfully stressed with a huge amount of papers scurried everyone on the table, not that one put together person he saw a few days back. His stomach dropped at the sight, not wanting to interact with them, “oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, can we cancel this? I’m not comfortable.”

Dustin looked up at Steve, “Why not? We get a free time to hang out together, I heard they give the best hot chocolate!” Seeing Steve flustered, Dustin turned to see at what he was looking at before getting so weird, it seemed to be a person, somewhat Steve’s age, good-looking meanwhile scribbling notes onto sheets of paper. He hangs his mouth open and nudges Steve with a sly smile, “Oooooh! Someone’s got a crush!”

”Shut up,” He snaps, making Dustin stop giggling like an idiot. Steve gulps and feels a bit anxious about it, after all this time, why did he feel this way?

“Try talking to them,” Steve’s friend advices, both of them watching her through the window in deep concentration, “Until you feel the electricity.”

Steve glances at Dustin, “Don’t use my advice against me.”

”It’s not that bad, Steve,” Dustin claims, moving his jacket around a bit, “Maybe this is your chance.”

”Chance,” He scoffs at the comment, “I haven’t felt like this in months, what ever happened to the glory days where everybody would fall for me at first sight?”

“They probably like you,” Dustin shrugs and looks up at his friend hopelessly sigh, “What’s the matter? Do they not?”

“Well......” He mumbles, trailing off, “I made a really bad impression on them, they came over to the store and I seemed like an asshole, they don’t like me.”

After peering through the window, both boys noticed that same person’s eyes meet theirs. Panicked, they looked away rapidly, trying to not make the situation awkward. The person they were eyeing went back to their task, Dustin ran to the door, dragging Steve inside, “Go talk to them.”

Steve flattened his jacket and breathed deeply, feeling Dustin’s pudgy hands push him forward, making the bell ring as soon as he walked inside. Feeling awkward, he slowly trudged towards the table where you were sitting.

”Hey,” He shyly whispered, ruffling his hands inside his sweater, you looked up to meet his warm, brown eyes, confused of who this might be.

”Hey?” You watch him stand weirdly in front of you, feeling a sense of awkwardness in the air, “Take a seat if you want.”

Steve pulls the chair back to sit, scooting himself forward into the table. He looked over at Dustin who was grinning from the outside of the cafe, “How are you?”

”Fine, but have we met?” You squinted, trying your best to remember him, although you couldn’t, then went back to scurrying through your assignments.

”I believe so,” He watches you scurry through more and more assignments, writing quick notes on each page, “What are you working on?”

After finishing the second to last pair of notes, you reply, “Assignments, it’s crazy how college still wants to make you work your ass even though you’re on break. And how have we met?”

”Film student right?” The comment he made making you look up, he was correct. You nodded, watching his every move on how he knew, he sighs and goes on, “Well I’m that asshole that couldn’t do your stupid assignment for college.”

Wide eyed, you nodded your head and breathily giggled, “Oh yeah, the dipshit.”

”The dipshit,” He nervously repeated, remembering the brood impression he made on you, “Yeah so...... how did that go?”

”No one else wanted to do it,” You huffed as the memories of what dick he had been towards you, he seemed sorry for you, rapidly making sharp eye contact and looking away.

Steve watched your expressions changed as your thoughts did too, “Sorry about that.” Was all he said.

“It’s whatever,” You shrug, getting irritated a bit, but before you could comment anything else, he blurted out.

”Wecouldgowatchamovietogetheranddothatwork.”

All you did was giggle at his flustering comment he gave you, he looked so hopeless and dazed off. Taking a sip of your French Roast coffee, feeling the bitter taste touch your taste buds, a new burst of energy filling you, you scratched your head, “Not so easy..... Dipshit. A. I don’t even know your name and who you are, B. you’re desperate.”

”I- w-what?” His words tumbled off his mouth, denying the answer, “I’m not, I-I just wanna help you.”

His dumbfounded expression made it harder for you not to laugh, “It’s okay, I was just teasing you. And I’m free around 4, if that works out.”

”O-oh, yeah I mean I have work but a day to skip won’t hurt,” Steve chuckles, feeling tingly around his hands, he had never felt this for years on end. Cliche much right?

You raised your eyebrows up and a tiny smile escaped your lips, “Okay, just so you know, it’s going to be a challenge to warm up to me.”

He nods his head, bringing his hands together in front of you, “Well I’m up for that challenge!”

”You dipshit.”

”You movie critic.”

[mel-the-fangirl]

Toss A Coin to Your Witcher

Henry Cavill x Reader

Words: 2,362

I am so so so nervous to post this because this is my first time writing a Henry fic and I know that the Henry Cavill fandom is such a tightknit family, I hope you guys have room for one more hopeless Henry stan. I know this isn’t even half as good as the other Henry fics out there but I had this idea stuck in my head for a very long time.

Please like and reblog or leave me some replies if I should do a second part! Thank you!

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The makeup brush swept precisely along your cheekbone, covering it in a subtle shimmer. Production staff milled around behind you, testing sound, testing lights. Being an actor, these things were nothing new. 

"Now remember, say it with me," 

"Don't say or do anything stupid." you recited with your long time agent and friend, Marge.

You thanked the makeup artist and made your way to the set. 

"When have I ever said or done anything stupid though?" you asked

Marge looked at you appraisingly before replying, 

"There's always a time for everything. Now go on." 

The vibe on set dialled to a hundred when you stepped on. It was really flattering how they cheered as you plonked your butt down on the wooden chair, a red tarp was set up behind you and the studio lights surrounded the area.

"Ready when you are Y/N!" the producer aka the ring leader of this whole operation flashed you a thumbs up

You nodded, feeling the nervousness bubble up your throat. 

Surprise, surprise. You still got nervous in front of the camera. It wasn't hard to handle though, you took a couple of deep breaths and you were good to go. 

"Hey guys, gals, and non-binary pals! I'm Y/N Y/L/N. I'm here with Buzzfeed and we're gonna be playing Twenty Questions." you winked at the camera with your arms wrapped around the little jar that had your questions in it

 "Let's get started, shall we?" 

Eager to begin, you stuck your hand into the jar without a second thought. 

"I freaking love Buzzfeed, really. Especially Tasty, I mean, I don't cook. But," you shrugged, wiggling your fingers, hearing the tiny bits of folded paper move around in the jar. "I love watching people cook. Then I love eating."

Scattered chuckles broke out through the crew. 

After a few minutes of rustling around, you figured you’d just come clean, "Okay. Small problem." 

You lifted your hand, the jar coming along with it. The pieces of folded paper crowding around your encased wrist as you waved your arm. 

Another round of shocked giggles started up as a couple of assistants rushed to you and tried to yank the jar off. 

"This is too good," the producer chortled, "Mind if we keep this in?"

"Fine by me!" you watched intently as Marge rolled up your sleeve so one assistant could pour oil all over it. Eagle eyed, she watched as a drop of oil landed on the bottom hem of your sweater.

"Great job, Y/N. This sweater was a gift from that designer you met last week, he said he made it just for you." she scolded, taking charge by grabbing the jar with two hands

"It was an accident, Marge. It's not like I planned on getting my hand stuck in a jar today!"

With a tug and a pop, your hand was free and slick with olive oil. Marge landed on her butt on the floor.

"Marge!" you howled with laughter, helping her up

She straightened her blouse, all business but her cheeks were stained red with embarrassment. 

"Can someone help Y/N wash the oil off her hands? Let's get this show on the road, people!" she barked marching orders at the staff, clapping her hands as she went. She wasn't in charge here but no one dared to question her. 

You chuckled, knowing that this was a cute little anecdote you’d be sharing with anyone who was willing to listen.

A few minutes later, you were back in your chair, having a laugh with everyone. The jar incident already stripped away the majority of your anxiety so you were ready to go.

"Okay! First question!" you squinted at the strip of paper, "What is the most expensive thing you’ve stolen from any set you’ve been on?" 

“Well!” you widened your eyes at the camera, “Bold of you all to assume that I’ve ever stolen anything!”

Marge scoffed rather audibly, making everyone raise their eyebrows at you.

“Okay, fine!” you held up your hand. The stunning ring you had on sparkled underneath the lights, nearly blinding anyone who looked.

“I did a period movie a while back and they had these drop dead gorgeous, and I mean gorgeous pieces of jewelry. I wore this piece,” you gazed down at the ring fondly, “for the whole of the film and I just pinched it after we wrapped, I couldn’t part with it, okay? I’m like a fricking magpie, I love shiny things.”

The crew burst into fits of laughter, making you laugh along with them.

“To clarify! This is the replica the props department had made, a very expensive replica. I can see you freaking out, Marge. And no, you don’t have to call the insurance company.”

You were a big hit, to say the least. You had them in stitches every time you opened your mouth but all good things had to come to an end, right?

It didn’t matter how carefully you dipped your hand into the question jar, this next one was going to make things very messy for you. 

"What do you like to do in your free time?" you read out loud, tapping a finger against your chin

"There hasn't been much free time lately,” you chuckled, “Let’s see… I play video games, yeah. I am so obsessed with the Witcher, it's borderline unhealthy. I’ve read all the books and played the games so many times." 

"What do you think of Henry Cavill as Geralt?" the producer asked you

Henry Cavill.

Just hearing that man's name was enough to make the blood rush to your cheeks. You brushed an imaginary hair out of your face. From behind the camera, Marge raised a knowing brow.

"Well," you cleared your throat and sat up straighter

"To be honest, at first I was really skeptical about his casting. I mean, he is way too good looking. Like way. Way. Too good looking. But…"

"But?"

Your mind drifted to the first time you saw a picture of Henry Cavill in full costume. The white hair, the golden cat eyes, the intense gaze and all that leather? It definitely made you feel… Certain things.

You cleared your throat, propping yourself on the table with your arms. To be honest, your head was still in a Henry Cavill haze so you had zero control of what came out of your mouth next.

"I'd definitely toss all my coins to that Witcher. Toss a few other things as well."

Everyone in the room ooh'ed and whistled, delighted by your saucy reply. The ruckus snapped you out of it and your hand immediately flew to your mouth.

“Please tell me I didn’t just say that out loud.”

“You did.” Marge mouthed at you, trying but failing to contain her laughter

"So you enjoyed his performance as Geralt?" the producer pressed on, hoping to get more audience-raking answers

How many times were you going to blush during this interview?

"Oh, well, about that, I haven't really gotten around to actually watching it.” you admitted sheepishly, “But I've seen photos and some clips. Very impressed by what I've seen so far."

"You will watch it though, right?" 

"Oh, absolutely. No way I’d miss out on that! Henry Cavill is an incredibly wonderful, talented actor. I think he’s also a fan of the franchise so I have no doubt that he played Geralt to perfection as with all his other roles." you nodded solemnly, putting a hand to your heart

Everyone in the room with you caught on that you were gushing over the actor, the sly looks they all exchanged with one another were a dead giveaway. Too bad you didn’t notice before you could try and play it cool.

“Alright! I think it’s time for the next question!” you declared, swiftly plucking another question out of the jar

By the time it was all over, you had convinced yourself that your little crush-related blunder wasn’t even a big deal, it would probably just be a little footnote in that video. No biggie.

But, Jesus Christ were you wrong.

The video took a couple of weeks to edit and in that time, you were busier than ever. A movie you had just done was getting a lot of attention, your performance in particular had critics singing your praises. At that point, you were definitely getting noticed a lot more when you stepped out for coffee.

So, the timing was just perfect.

The second the video went live, your phone was going off non stop. Twitter mentions, Instagram tags, and articles. A few notable entries being:

“WATCH: RISING STAR Y/N Y/L/N GUSHES ABOUT HENRY CAVILL IN CHARMING BUZZFEED VIDEO”

“@geraskier-rights: Y/N Y/L/N REALLY SAID SHE’D TOSS ALL HER COINS TO HENRY CAVILL’S GERALT AND WE ALL KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS”

“@geralt-of-vengerberg: Y/N The Fond™ is showing👀👀👀”

Marge sat on your sofa with your phone in hand, absolutely thrilled while reading tweets out loud. You scheduled a panic session with her over lunch once everything blew up.

“Oh my God.” you groaned, massaging your temples. “Marge, what do I do?”

“About what?” she didn’t even bother to look up at you

You plopped yourself down next to her, laying your head in her lap, “All that. It’s everywhere.”

“And? There’s nothing wrong with it, they all think you’re charming and funny. A true Relatable Queen.”

Was it your sanity slipping through your fingers? Or the overpowering embarrassment? You had no idea but whatever it was, it had you laughing until your stomach hurt.

Marge tugged at your hair, “Get it together, bitch. Jeez.”

“What are you so worried about anyway?” she asked, placing your phone on your stomach

You swiped through your emails absentmindedly, “I’m not worried about anything, it’s just that what if…”

You left the words hanging in the air, you might as well have been dangling from a cliff from how much colour drained from your face.

“What if what?” 

Marge shoveled some pasta into her mouth before noticing that you essentially turned into a statue right next to her.

“Y/N!” she shook your arm with a grip you were sure would leave some bruises. “What’s the matter?”

Wordlessly, you passed your phone to her, the comment from a certain verified account displayed prominently on Buzzfeed’s Instagram post of a little snippet from your video, the “I’d toss all my coins to that Witcher” part, naturally.

“@henrycavill: Dear Y/N, how many coins are we talking about here? Let’s talk about my reward.”

It was all Marge could do to not throw your phone across the room. Her eyes went wide, following your every move as you paced back and forth, a thumbnail in your mouth.

“That did not just happen, I did not just see that right now. I didn’t.” you babbled, your heart beating thunderously in your chest

There it went. Your very own ticking time bomb finally went off. Number of casualties? Just one. You.

“Okay. Just calm down, Y/N.” Marge caught you mid-pace, squeezing your arms

“Maybe it was a fan account. Tell me it was a fan account, Marge. Henry Cavill did not just hear me imply what I implied.” you grasped at her hand with your clammy one

“Well if he has a fan account that’s verified and has fourteen point five million followers?”

“Oh god.” you groaned, sinking to the floor and hugging your knees

“Oh, Christ.”

Marge hauled you to your feet and thrust your phone in your hand. She looked you hard in the eye, “Stop your whining and answer him. You’re Y/N fucking Y/L/N, one of the hottest people on the planet, start acting like it.”

You stared at her, eyes wide. Your chest rose and fell rapidly. Marge’s words started to make sense in your mind and adrenaline started surging through your veins. You nodded fervently, psyching yourself up.

“Fuck yeah.” you breathed, clicking ‘Reply’

“@yourinstagram: @henrycavill I know you take orens, crowns, and florens but maybe we should discuss further?”

Before you could even stop yourself (did you even want to?), your fingers already landed on the blue paper plane.

“I did it.” you exhaled, staring as the likes and overly enthusiastic replies started pouring in

“Fuck yeah, you did. Now, come on. Leave your phone. We’re getting drunk.”

More weeks passed and you actually ended up forgetting about that little reply you left Henry Cavill. You were busier than ever. Guestings, endorsement deals, and awards shows left and right. So, when you finally had a couple of days free, you decided you would set up camp on your sofa and finally watch Henry Cavill as Geralt of Rivia.

You even threw on your Superman pyjamas, “What the hell.” you shrugged

If you were going down this road, you might as well do it right. Maybe you would even watch the Man from U.N.C.L.E after or would it be Night Hunter? The decision would have to wait.

You watched, absolutely riveted as the White Wolf battled against the kikimora, his silver sword hacked at the creature with unmatched expertise. You were only a few minutes in but you already knew you’d be stuck on that sofa for hours.

When the kikimora had Geralt pinned underwater with his trusty sword just beyond arm’s reach, you found yourself on the edge of your seat, one of your cushions in a chokehold.

“Come on, come on, come on.” you muttered as Geralt reached for his sword

You wouldn’t find out if he got it or not. A knock on your door literally made you fall off the sofa.

“Fuck!” you exclaimed, your hip was already smarting from the impact

Whoever that asshole was, you swore you were going to give him a piece of your mind. You stomped to your front door just as that idiot started knocking again.

You huffed and threw the door open then your mind immediately went blank.

“I am so sorry. Are you alright? I think I heard you fall?”

Oh yeah. You were definitely falling.

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You can find the second part here!