#(I need real life subtitles I swear)

[soliusss]

helping a customer with a heavy accent who doesn’t speak a lot of English VS helping a middle aged white woman

[trickster-archangel]

Random thoughts about Hawaii Five-0 rewatch: part 1/?

So, as someone of my mutuals already knows, I'm currently undergoing the exhausting task of checking all the fucking 61 DVDs from the H50 box set before the 30-days guarantee expires, because it's physically impossible to watch them all completely in that time, even if I took 1 month leave. So I'm simply skipping back and forth and leaving the regular rewatch for when my life will be less of a living hell...so, supposedly around 2038...

I have one complaint, which is the subtitles are not completely matching all dialogues, but since my brain only needs them until it's switched to English-mode and I can start understanding it again, I guess it's alright. Second complaint: they're fucking HUGE and OVERLAPPING THE SCENES SO RANDOMLY IT HURTS.

Anyway, I've by now processed only s1-s5, and dude....some things I caught in the deleted scenes (which I've watched entirely) AND in some parts of the commentaries I specifically sought because curiosity won, and which I've never seen giffed or captioned....man, I was so angry and disappointed at times. So I thought I'd be randomly processing them here, no pics sorry, only thoughts.

~~~~~~more under the cut~~~~~~

Thought #1: Alex and Scott goofing around.

Trust me. The gag reels are so much better than you'd expect. At times I was genuinely laughing to tears and god knows how rare it is.

What I loved most was to watch that scene where Alex and Scott start cussing in Italian, and I bet no one who's not Italian could understand a fuck about what they're yelling. Best part, though, were the subtitles, captioning ALEX AND SCOTT: SWEARING IN ITALIAN 😂 Just to make sure what language exactly they were using.

Thought #2: missed chance to make Amber's character less of a plastic doll, or: Why did you fucking cut those 57 seconds?!?!

While watching s5 deleted scenes, I stumbled upon two real jewels from the 24th episode. I'm still trying to understand why they couldn't include them in the canon episode, since both of them combined are less than a minute and surely there were other moments that could've been cut. My only explanation, sadly, is that it would've painted Amber in quite a different light, making her a stronger, rounder character, and giving her an agency we rarely saw in her, except when confronting her ex husband. They could've followed that route, but we cannot have a beautiful woman who's also her own person, a self-confident person, and not just a plastic Barbie doll, right?! God forbid a woman can have agency and call out men on their bullshit, it would threat masculine privilege too much....

So, what exactly happened that bothered me so deeply? (Be aware I'm quoting by heart and not literally, as I didn't take screenshots and anyway I can't make gifs. Also, the following meta is just my interpretation of the implications running through subtext).

The first scene is very short, just six or seven seconds long, but it's a jewel in subtext and non-verbal communication. It takes place presumably after or around the moment Rachel tells Danny about Charlie: we see them from afar, clearly in a street-taken point of view, from an external observer. They are agitated and distressed, Rachel more than Danny, who's tensely spread on the bench with his arms looped behind the backrest, angling far from Rachel's compact and almost self-hugging frame.

They're distressed, not happy, not even remotely connecting to each other, so it's clear it's not a scene which could be envisioned as romantic. It's only a couple of seconds long, and then we see whose this external point of view belongs to: Amber. Amber who's not an idiotic, mellow, shallow doll. Amber who's been so clearly upset by Danny's lie about the texts, that she decided to follow him to the place Rachel had indicated. Amber who's been manipulated and controlled and abused long enough to become suspicious and self-preserving when someone she loves, and who knows her vulnerability, tries to play her around. Amber who looks at them, and clearly isn't angry nor jealous, because those few moments the actress uses to convey all of Amber's inner distress, are some of her best ones (giving that the actress, alas, is not very expressive to begin with), and we understand that she doesn't see any romance in the air. She's disappointed. She's hurt. Betrayed. Again.

Amber's face, in a handful of seconds, perfectly displays the devastating feeling of someone who finally felt safe and respected and secure, only to discover that it's yet another kind of control and manipulation, less cruel, less brutal, but not less humiliating and even worrying.

This is something she's learnt at her expense, and now that she knows the red flags, she cannot trust a man who can't be honest with her, not with this kind of problems, not with something which is clearly affecting his life to a deep level. He wants Amber to be a part of his life, but only if he can control the terms, limits, boundaries and times of their relationship. And Amber has been through it all before, and can't trust that history won’t repeat itself.

She then drives away, hurt and disappointment written all over her face.

The second deleted scene is even more important plotwise, because it explains Amber's absence as Danny’s plus one at Kono's wedding, after all the talk he did in the car about bringing some Amber's friend as Steve's date, and it casts a new light over Danny's reaction to Steve's resolve to ask Cath to marry him, or his tension about Lynn, or Amber's condistent absence for the whole first part of s6, or even Danny's and Amber's fight during their Valentine's dinner.

The scene is longer, about fifty seconds, and it supposedly takes place right at the end of the episode, after Danny pulls up at the hospital's parking lot, after Steve's affectionate text. He takes his phone out of his pocket again because he's received a voice-mail message.

A message from Amber (sorry, I noticed just now I'm still going with Amber instead of Melissa).

She says she's sorry to be doing this by voice-mail because she'd prefer to do it in person, but given their situation it's probably for the best if she spares them both the trouble to be forced to find shallow excuses. She says he's an amazing man, and that she likes what they have and that she thinks it might be real, and that she hopes he feels the same. She's understanding that his job comes first and it's terribly demanding, as she's also aware of how hard his life and his backstory is, with Grace and Rachel. This all considered, she thinks it's best if they stop and take a pause, so that he can reflect and decide if he wants to keep this thing going, but as for now, she can't keep seeing him on these terms.

Amber decided to stop seeing Danny until he decided what to do with their relationship and be honest with her, and started thinking seriously if he was just using her, as she probably felt.

Why?? Why did they cut this whole plotline? It's pivotal for Danny's arc, for his strained and angry attitude towards everyone, for his constant distress, for his even worsening negativity, for the way he's overcompensating with excessive euphoria to Steve's announcement about Cath, for how he meddles with them and confronts Cath about being honest, for how he's not thrilled about Lynn's insertion inside Steve's life.

Because he's alone, at that time. Call it temporary breakup or period of reflection or a break, but he was single and thinking, again, about everything he was doing wrong with his life and his relationships, and falling again into his old black hole of depression and self-sabotage, and seeing Steve going on with his life even at the cost of pretending he was happy with this woman he had supposedly no trouble cheating on, during their "couple retreat", making him wonder if either what he had with Lynn wasn't serious, or if his obvious charade about his threesome with Alyssa and her friend had a second meaning.

Also, they were probably both single again, or at least testing the waters, when they were at the retreat. And Danny definitely was when Cath left Steve once again abandoned, betrayed, and never-chosen in face of anything else.

Quite a lot of subtext to think about, for just 57 seconds which were, prudently, cut.

[stra-tek]

I would like to ask your opinion on the NuTrek set designs! I haven't watched strange new worlds or discovery (those are the nu prequel ones right?) mostly because I'm afraid they won't be good? Like they won't hold the same silly charm as TOS or TNG, and part of that worry is the ship design. I love that TOS bridge LOOKS like it's from the 60s, LOOKS like the ship is kinda held together with spit, sillystring, and human stubbornness, because that's how our real life space program was back then. From the pictures I've seen, I don't like all the fancy lights everywhere on a ship that looks completely different in TOS. I know they probably had to update it for marketing so like I get it but! What do you think and are the new sets distracting? And are the shows good? Thanks!

The sets are definitely very different to the old ones, more in line with the recent movie version of things where there are big windows in front with amazing space vistas and very hi-tech touchscreen panels everywhere. Personally I love them, they kept a few little callbacks to the originals like the Enterprise having some of the old jelly bean buttons on the consoles next to the modern flatscreen panels. I never found the brightness distracting but I've heard others complain about it. I only complained about Picard's third season where for 9 episodes they basically leave the lights off and you can barely see anyone😆 While Discovery has it's own look, the Enterprise has a kind of modern retro vibe where some things are now HUGE and SHINY but you'll spot stuff almost unchanged from the old show, like the Jeffries Tube Scotty was always tinkering in.

As for the shows themselves, they're a mixed bag (as were the originals)

Discovery had tons and tons of BTS drama, the people running the end of the first season weren't the same who started it so storytelling is somewhat uneven. And it's different from classic Treks in that it's one main plotline per season and there is one definite main character rather than an ensemble. Then they had two big shifts in direction: The first season is dark and mysterious, involving war with Klingons (who speak subtitled Klingon and like the sets have been reimagined to look far more alien) and mirror universes. The second tries to be much lighter in tone and more like the recent movies and has a plot that makes less and less sense the closer you examine it (but I still loved it), then they jump to the distant future where they're a relic in a universe that's changed a lot. It's also the queerest Trek ever with gay, nb and trans characters. There's some violence and swearing and a story about a former POW who was sexually abused in the first season but it's not all quite as it seems.

Strange New Worlds spins off from the second season of Discovery (but you don't need to have seen it first), and tells TOS/TNG/VOY style standalone stories which range from saving worlds to battling alien monsters to utter fluff but unlike the originals, what happens has lasting effects on the characters. It's got a mix of young versions of known characters, some have been changed a lot (Nurse Chapel is a total badass in this version, Spock is married to T'Pring and she's a huge part of his life) and others who didn't do enough in TOS to really be called changed, like Dr. M'Benga. They also have Kirk's brother on the crew and he's derpy as hell and we love him. It's the one most like classic Trek, but it's definitely more of a modern reboot of the concept even though officially it's a prequel in the same continuity (even going so far in Discovery as a "previously on" with clips from "The Cage" and then next season there's an episode called "Unification III", follwing on from the TNG two-parter and featuring the characters watching a clip from it). So don't get too hung up on all that stuff and just enjoy!

Hope that helps!🖖

[catharsis-in-a-bottle]

so i ummmmmm really liked andor. like, a lot. holy shit. i need to make a list of Things I Enjoyed

FINALLY, A STAR WARS SHOW WITH GOOD FUCKING DIALOGUE. THE WORDS FEEL LIKE WORDS REAL PEOPLE WOULD ACTUALLY SAY. CONGRATULATIONS.

ON THAT NOTE: a star wars show that DOESN'T try to cover up bad writing with cgi and nostalgia grabs!!!!! the writing is quite good and they didn't throw in fight scenes just for shits and giggles, they all had meaning!!! huzzah!!!

(like. i am floored that i have enjoyed a disney show. what can i say. i have been disappointed in the past because of their incessant desire to Churn Out Content which results in underpaid workers and Loads Of Hot Shit. i am slandering up in this house tonight)

alright let's talk about the SOUNDTRACK. upon my first listen of the main theme, i was like, huh, kind of boring... by my fifth listen i was like, This Theme Is Going To Kill Me, and So Is The Rest Of The Whole Damn Soundtrack. orchestral swells AND weird and fucked up electronic sounds!!!! they were not afraid of a little out-of-tune synth wobbling, and that i can RESPECT!!!!! also not to music theory on main but IV to VI chords in a minor key, which is in the theme, is just a fucking beautiful progression and i will always love it in any context except for pop music. OKAY MOVING ON

this is the first star wars media i've encountered that i felt had something actually substantial to say about imperialism. like a lot of the other shows and the movies themselves have felt idealistic about rebellion against fascism, and then andor walks in and is like, hey, you know how we fight imperialism? Armed Revolt!! you know what enables fascism! a lot of nuanced factors that we're going to delve into with some Rich Character Development!! and obviously the rebellion in all other star wars media is like, openly an armed revolt, but this show puts that into greater context w/ police brutality, prison systems, and colonization, which makes the politics not more obvious per se, but more impactful and in greater dialogue with its audience. in my opinion. okay moving on again:

let's talk about some characters baby!!! cassian andor was bound to join my blorbo library from the moment i began this show. i absolutely fucking love his development from passive victim of empire to "kill me, or take me in [to your violent rebellion]", AND i love his haircut, AND emotionally repressed characters will forever remain fixtures of my heart. he's so!!!!! you know!!!!! i swear to god the writers did SO well on this one

i am not going to pretend that i remembered most of the character's names. my family did not watch this with subtitles and my auditory processing is quirky and elusive. so anyway i really liked [insert name of Guy Behind Major Acts Of Rebellion - you know, stellan skarsgård] because of his take no shit, give all the fucks attitude, and gravelly voice, and stellan in general as an actor (i am totally not biased because of the chernobyl miniseries). GREAT fucking complicated character.

i did find the writing of vel and cinta so fucking hilarious though. like if you google "vel and cinta", there are questions about if they are a romantic pairing. i appreciate the effort here, and i appreciate the glimpse of an actual nuanced lesbian dynamic in a mainstream company, but star wars is still very wimpy about gay people on the surface. we still have the beneath the surface homoeroticism though so we're good

mon mothma and tay [insert last name] only straight people i can get behind

THE FUCKING PRISON. EVERYTHING ABOUT THE PRISON ARC. first of all: what a fucking physical and psychological horror show. i mean, my god, electrified floors, no escape, nobody ever leaves. all the rest of the horror comes directly from real life, of course - prison slave labor, unfair sentences, shit living conditions.... i don't know the name of andy serkis's character so i will just call him andy serkis. what an EXCELLENT turnaround! from complacent hopelessness to violent hopelessness, and we know which one is more useful!!! FUCK YEAH!!! ALSO: "ONE WAY OUT" OHHH MY GOD!!!! JUST WOW!!!!! and "i can't swim"........ at least he got to see the sunlight... god this is a side comment but i think it's a crime to have to be stuck somewhere where you can't see the fucking sun this INCLUDES places of work UM ANYWAY

i am Tired so i will now sculpt my concluding remarks: i am pleasantly surprised!! i am delighted, even!!! i have gained another character to rotate in my head!!! that is all good night/day/insert time here

[senkusphone]

Replies to various tag comments

so I can reply but also not clutter everything with many posts, thanks for bearing with me.

@megacarapa No, thank you! That gif took so long to make, and I rarely get to use it lol. I had to undo a panning shot, and erase Senku in order to loop it. Check out this weird left over file from the process, you can see a bit of Senku under where I patched him off, and the subtitles moving as the image panned

@piuopon

Multimeter:

You don't understand, that's the multimeter I used for most of the last decade, even at the labs in university. I bought it from some guy on the street (I swear this is normal) cause it was very cheap, and it needed repairs which I did.

I gotta admit I love me an old instrument though. I think it's from the early 1970's as it's made with point to point connection (no circuit board) but it doesn't have the old Sanwa logo. Fun fact, to this day they still sell knockoffs of these old japanese Sanwa multimeters, under brands such as Sunma, Sunwa, etc (and they're still not cheaper than I paid for the og). My first multimeter when I was a kid was a knockoff 'Munwha' I believe, wish I still had it regardless.

If you want me to flex a real antique one, check out the Weston Selective Analyzer 665. This multimeter is from the 1930's. (also makes me wonder if there was a Weston Selective Analyzer 666)

The 'high grid test' and 'low grid test', the series capacitor condenser for the AC voltage scales, and the 'press to read' button are features that have long disappeared from multimeters as far as I can tell.

Senku:

It's hard for me to describe how much this series helped me pull through a comically dark time in my life. Senku is a very inspiring character, despite how much I like to dunk on him. When I needed a bit of inspiration the most, I was inspired to shamelessly and unapologetically pursue my interests in science and engineering that I had been growing increasingly disenchanted with after too many years in academic hell. Despite the fact that I am literally building a career on these interests, I have always been shamed for pursuing them in a non professional or academic way.

The dude said "get excited", and I did.

So, the fact that you perceive me that way, is really flattering to me, and I truly appreciate it, thank you.

🅱️enis:

I'll have you remember that the og KoS flag featured only one phallic shape and was designed by Yuzu, go figure what she was thinking of.

Someone must've decided it wasn't gay enough by the time Ryusui came around, and thus added a second one in conjuction (a design which Ryusui was the first to wear).

No idea who did it though, but I am putting suspicion on the artists (yuzu and namari) and Gen, because he likes to mess with people, of course. Wonder what the Ishigami villagers thought of this pattern, as they were exposed to this design long before they had any knowledge or remotely accurate concept of a rocket or spaceship...

... but they certainly knew other things.

Moving on

@aresagainstthemachine Hello again

Yes, as you say the frequencies are kinda fixed. Both the transmit and receive frequency depend in part to the capacitance of the antenna to the surrounding environment, there was even one occasion where hand capacitance to the large coil made this behave sorta like a theremin. (video there, but I no longer use this twitter).

Receive mode is a bit more complicated as adjusting the feedback/tickler coil to bring up the gain also shifts the frequency somewhat. Tuning regenerative radios is always a process of getting closer and closer adjusting the tuning capacitor of the front end and the coupling of the feedback. Now aparently I had some sort of mental void between then and now, 'cause the other day I was cleaning some boxes and I found this object

Then I remembered that back in the day I meant to discretely install this small variable capacitor to have at least a small amount of tuning control on the receiving coil. I guess I ended up not doing it when I saw it happened to fall near an existing station and adding this would have thrown that off. Feel free to message me if you got any more electronics questions, that'd be easier and I'd be happy to chat. Also thanks everyone for the reblogs and nice comments :)

[after-nine-at-the-oasis]

I JUST FINISHED EPISODE FOUR AND AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Well technically I didn't JUST finish it I had to stressed-ly pace around my house for three minutes first xd

And then stare at a picture of an otter which was blessedly the first thing on my dash

Uh anyway :')

OVEIAIWNOHWNZLFKSMSHDBWKABWIDBAUWCNSMLQEZ????!?!!!? SOBBING SCREAMING CRYING SHAKING THROWING UP!!?!???!?!!!!!

SEB HOW COULD YOU D O THIS TO ME??? HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO CARLOS?? MY BABY I LOVE YOU BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO RIGHT NOW 😭😭😭 GIVE ME A CIRCUMSTANCE SEB I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED LIKE DID SOMEONE KISS YOU AND WE'RE CALLING THAT IT BECAUSE IF IT NEVER GETS EXPLAINED THAT'S WHAT I'M GOING WITH AND I CAN MAKE WHATEVER I WANT CANON THANK YOU VERY MUCH

ALSO HOW DID THIS HAPPEN SEB YOU CAN'T LIE AND YOU WENT TO CAMP THE SECOND TO LAST DAY

AND JARRED???!?!!!!? SIR WHAT ARE YOU D O I N G HER!????!!?!!!

Okay I'm genuinely struggling to breathe a tiny bit so I'mma take a second lol

Okay I'm back :) did some breathing and a physical exercise to work some of this out lol

Anyway as soon as Seb said he had something to tell Carlos I got SUPER nervous and I was pausing so much but as soon as I started to say it and I saw the subtitles I literally screamed and his for like 3 minutes straight 😭 xd. Y'all I am living my worst life right now lol xd.

WHEN I ASKED FOR SEBLOS ANGST THIS ISN'T WHAT I MEANT!!

But uh anyway I knew Seb was in a knight outfit (boy we had no idea what that promo pic meant 😭) so I was wondering if the pumpkin was someone he sent or MAYBE him, and then I was thinking a) it's Big Red (especially after interrupting Ashlyn and Maddox around the time I was thinking this) b) it's the person Seb cheated with or c) it's both (awful, worst possible option for anything about this situation). And THEN I was like okay so Jarred, is this the dancer, an ex, the guy he cheated with, or both Carlos's ex AND the guy Seb cheated with. Luckily it's just the dancer xd. Not great news, still, but, you know lol.

Frankie wasn't lying when he said these first few episodes were an episode of Housewives 😭

Boy those episodes really can Housewives 😭 xD

Anyway, uhh, I was depressed in the first half but hoping they'd talk and just not come to a total understanding yet, but then by the end I was screaming throwing up losing my mind :) also I'm pretty sure we don't get Seb next episode so :') because now I need to watch HIM beg lol, even it out xD

Also if we don't get Over Again till the last or second to last episode I freaking swear-

ANYWAY! This is not just a seblos post XD. This is an episode four post lol.

Rina is going THROUGH IT 😭😭. I gotta say Ricky I think you should make it clear that Miss Jenn wanted to switch Dani in lol, not you xd. And I also wish they'd both managed to tell each other about the various situations 😬. When Mack first mentioned it I thought Ricky overheard and I went o.o but xd. Also I know you were in front of everyone but Gina why didn't you just explain the mom thing DD:. Poor Ricky he's going through it for real :((. And with college and everything too :'( D':. Anyway they were cute for a bit this episode and they slayed but xdd 😭. I love them <33.

ASHLYN GIRLLL WHAT ARE YOU DOINGGGG!!! Like lowkey 👀👀👀👀 but also girl Big Red 😭😭💔. Unless it was him and Seb in which case I don't think I or this friend group would ever recover but also idk if there would be a need to escalate nonetheless lol- aUAGH ESCALATE THAT REMINDS ME OF SEB-

Whoops sorry lol 🤪 that was so crazy wild 😌

Anyway :D that SONG THOUGHHH!! It was a bop :DD!!! Also not Ashlyn crying when she thought Maddox wasn't okay 😭😭😭💔. Y'all I'm not okay, thank you very much <333

And 😬😬 there's confirmation that Mad and Mad are down - or, as Maddox said lol, bad xd. Sorry guys :(((

Kourtney honey DD:. I swear that's how I start her part every episode XD. At least it's not multiple y's on either word this time lol. Anyway, I'm glad she went out 🥰🥰. I was scared she'd just stay in :((. But while she's CLEARLY stressing, I'm so happy she went to the party and had fun with them :D. And I do think she should look outside of Ivy Leagues, I think something will definitely come from that in some way :).

And speaking of Kourtney SLFKGFJSHDK JET!!! Man is trying his best but it was HILARIOUS lol xDD. Also his moment with Ricky was great xD. But seriously my guy, nice, smooth lol xd. ~Fabric~. Also, little sus over there calling Mack and Ricky hot one after the other xDD. Anyway lol. Also it's really sweet that he helped Maddox with the prank to make it up to her :')) 🥰❤️. I love them so much your honor, thank you very much <3. Another point to that is Maddox's reaction to Ashlyn saying Emmy probably has a crush on him lol xD.

Miss Jenn DD:. I'm sorry honey :((. I'm sorry to Ricky's dad too, he's been great this season DD':. And he's such a MOOD too lol xD. But yeah, honestly, they just don't work great together :'//. And I mean I've wanted them to break up but it was still sad :'( 😭 and I didn't wanna see it I didn't deserve it xD. But nah I'm glad we saw it lol, it's for the best. I'll miss y'all though <33. But not too much xD. Oh and her scene with Ricky and the end was amazing :'DD. I think she's calling Mr. Mazzaraaaa? Idk but I think so and anyway I really loved the scene :'D. Also slay costume lol.

Slay costume EVERYONE y'all were all amazing :DD!!! Everyone slayed so hard they brought the house down 🥰🥰❤️😍🤩✨🥰.

Missing you EJ, Mr. Mazzara, Nini, and Emmy :)). Love you guys <333. Though from the picture on the next episode bit after finishing episode four it looks like EJ's gonna be in the next one :O!!! We love that for us :DD!!!

Anyway yeah xD. Everyone's going through it lol. But I hate to break it to you guys, Carlos is going through it more 😭 xD. Like y'all his boyfriend's been icing him out supposedly because he thinks Carlos cheated on him and when he's finally willing to talk Carlos finds out that Seb cheated on him, and that the lowkey creepy person who bothered him a bit during the night was the person he was accused of, in a documentary that was streamed world wide, is there and wants to be with him. Just. Wow xd. Leave this man ALONE!! Like in the angst department 😭. I mena I love it but come on xdd. Anyway lol!! They seriously are all going through it though lol xD.

Anyway!! This episode was absolutely AMAZING and I loved and despised it :DD. How could you do this to me :')). The music was amazing (y'all that first song was SO FREAKING COOL!!! I loved it it was wild :DDD)!! Both songs were so good, and COMPLETE opposites lol. Despite partially being about the same thing xD. Like storyline wise lol (as in at least a bit about Ashlyn and Maddox being sus). Anyway! The drama was off the CHARTS and it was just a really good episode all around :)). I did genuinely enjoy it lol xdd. Still though, I am going to kill someone <3. I don't know who, but somebody :) xd. And Carlos is death so he's in on it, he'll help me with it lol.

Anyway xD. It was great. I am so freaking scared for the next episode and episodes, thank you :')). But SO EXCITED!! Still dying though lol <333.

NEXT UP IS EPISODE FIVE!!!

[undertheceiling]

Hello, hello, my personal-public diary!

So… I left tumblr again. But now I’ve finally found the energy to write something, and I hope this time it’s something meaningful.

All this time, I’ve been busy with work, but I don’t feel like sharing funny stories about people not finishing on time again, nor can I share any progress in learning the language. To be honest, these days have been completely unproductive. I haven’t been feeling well lately, and it’s a terrible excuse. I’ll try to be more productive and not let myself down again. Especially since today, I finally found some energy. (Energy drinks are evil!)

However, I did manage to accomplish something; yesterday, I added a bit of exercise to my life and rode my bike to work. My job is about an hour's ride from home, and I swear it was the worst idea I could have had. I lost count of how many times I told myself, “Never again.” The conclusion I came to is that I should probably be less radical in my changes. Yesterday had nothing good or useful for me, except for my paycheck and a chat with my favorite colleague. As you can see, not a word about the unexpected cardio workout. The worst part? I almost got hit by a car three times. What about quantum immortality?

Right now, I can’t seem to find the balance between the “right” way of stepping out of my comfort zone and simply hurting myself in a way that might do real damage. When you want results here and now, you’re willing to do a lot, but will the result be worth it if you end up breaking the other important things in your life? Do I even need the result if there’s nothing left besides it?

Maybe not every day, but I want to keep going with english. My plan is to find some interesting show or series with subtitles, keep reading and writing. Ideally, I won’t forget about grammar and flashcards. (But let’s be honest, that’s the most boring part. I’ll figure out a way to keep myself interested.)

Sincerely, I.

[demoniccaterpillar]

IMO, integrating the Divine Spirits you worship/work with into your daily life is absolutely key to having a successful polytheistic practice, regardless of whether you're a newbie who just set up your first altar yesterday or a generational polytheist who's been working with the gods on a personal level for decades. I failed to do this for a long time, and it really held me back from forming strong connections with the deities in my pantheon. If you only focus on the gods when you're sitting in front of your altar, putting in the time it takes to build real relationships with them will be a big chore, and you'll end up neglecting your practice when life inevitably gets in the way.

These days I integrate my pantheon into my life as much as I can.

I jokingly call Dantalion my "laundry demon" because they helped me organize my disaster of a laundry room/closet so I can actually find my shit and now I talk to them whenever I'm folding laundry to help stave off the boredom.

When I'm walking outside and find an exceptionally nice dandelion puffball growing near the path, I blow the seeds into an area where they'll be allowed to grow and dedicate them as an offering to Valefor (dandelions are a symbol of his).

I have a little daily ritual where the very first thing I do when I wake up is look over at my Patron seal on the wall beside my bed and say "good morning" to Azazel. It doesn't sound like much, and takes literally 2 seconds of my time, but it shows that I'm thinking about him before anything else.

Whenever I lose something and can't find it in the obvious places, I reach out to Vine and ask her to help me, then burn incense to thank her after I find it (I find whatever I'm missing within a few minutes at least 90% of the time, often in very strange places or somewhere I swear I already checked).

Whenever I can't remember something important or am reading information I really need to retain, I pray or make offerings to Mnemnosyne (a goddess who really should get more attention).

I often dedicate bowls of marijuana to Dionysus and/or Ampelos, and will focus on connecting with them through the spirit of the plant while I'm smoking (it's legal where I live and I'd be smoking to relax in the evening even if it wasn't dedicated to a Divinity).

I've always loved to watch thunderstorms, and now I talk to Thor and thank him for the storms while I'm watching, then burn incense for him afterwards.

I keep symbols of Tyche/Fortuna in my car and pray to her for help if I get stuck in traffic or can't find parking. I also ask either Azazel or Hekate to protect me from accidents/harm whenever I get into a car.

I take advantage of the naturally meditative and private setting to do visualizations or at least talk with my pantheon clairaudiently while I'm showering.

I regularly invite deities and demons I work with to join my husband and I for movie nights or TV show binges. I used to human movies and TV would be boringly mundane to Divine Beings, but that couldn't be further from the truth. Movies and television are just another way of telling stories, and deities have always loved stories. Watching shows and movies together is a major part of how I've bonded with a lot of my pantheon, especially the less open/forthcoming deities and demons. Hearing their opinions on fiction ends up teaching me a ton about them as individuals, as well as giving me insights into the real world along with new philosophical ideas. Anyone who's developed their clair abilities enough to interact with spirits while watching TV should really try inviting the Divinities they want personal relationships with to join them. It's totally worth having to keep the subtitles on so the clairaudient commentary doesn't drown out the show, lol.

I swear since I set up a mini altar for Hathor in the kitchen, everything I make tastes so much better! Whenever she asks for some of the food, I’m more than happy to share a few bites with her. After a day or two I remove the offering, leaving it in the forest behind the house. Integrating the gods into my daily life is the best part of my path!

Are your gods part of your day to day life too? If so, I‘d love to hear about your experiences!

[neptunianmars]

astro observations about my own placements

in true Leo Moon behavior, here are random observations i've made about myself that i think line up with some of own chart placements really well :)

Pisces Mercury:

i literally do not have my own laugh. i will always unintentionally mimic whoever is laughing around me and when i’m alone it’s the weirdest shit ever like i swear it’s not even a laugh

i know a lot of people need subtitles but i. need. subtitles. it’s like i can hear words but they sound like another language, i can’t understand anything. it happens a looott in real life too. don’t even get me started if someone has an accent. if i ever become rich i will invent contact lenses with subtitles.

Gemini Jupiter 2H:

i loooove to shit talk lmao. in mean girls when cady is like “it just comes out like word vomit” that’s literally me. i’d like to think i’m more of a listener than a talker but that’s not really any better.

i really don't want this to come across weird or bragging but i naturally have a lot of luck when it comes to money. i haven't been employed in over six months and somehow always find more money somewhere. i just got a job and i'm not out of training yet so i'm pretty much at $0 until i get my first check in a few weeks, and somehow this morning i found $200 to last me until then. Jupiter really has my back a lot lmao

1H Eros: 

i’ve noticed people are way more likely to compliment or pay attention to my body than my face. i have curves and big tits/a big ass and this is always what people comment on. i love my body, but it’s hard to get used to almost always being “sexy” instead of “pretty” or “beautiful”

11H Aquarius:

i do naturally have a lot of friends with aquarius placements but i can’t stand them at the same time? i’ve cut off two friends with prominent aqua in their chart. very much a love/hate relationship. 

9H Chiron conjunct 8H Mars:

i would really love to teach my own astrology/witchy class. my overall dream is to own a little cosmic cafe with an occult store/apothecary.

Taurus Dionysus:

i indulge in food really bad. i can never never resist food, i have zero self control. if i want to eat a certain way, i have to make sure my kitchen has absolutely zero temptations. 

Sagittarius Mars:

soooo so so many ideas i never go through with. i will write a detailed note over my course of action and desired results and everything, and then it will sit in my phone indefinitely. 

5H Moon:

i’m very much the cliché creative type. i love to write/songwrite, paint, sing, dance, arts and crafts, literally anything that’s creative. it’s like my own version of meditating. 

9H Sagittarius:

traveling and living in a foreign country is my dreeeam, nothing sounds more magical to me. i’m currently saving up to do so.

Gemini Pan:

i love love love to talk to trees, plants, and water. i hike a lot and love to say hi to everything i see and talk to nature like she’s my best friend :’)

[nbrook29]

robbe 1️⃣8️⃣

Warning: This is smutty, proceed with caution if it’s not your jam ;)

ao3

If anybody asked Robbe, bad weather in the summer should be illegal. Because what the hell? He needs sun rays and blue sky like he needs oxygen, he wants 30+ degrees temperatures and not a single cloud above, and he always welcomes it with all the small inconveniences it brings along, like clammy skin mere minutes after showering or freckles covering his nose and arms. So when it’s August and it’s raining, sorry, pouring buckets, sue him if he turns into a whiny mess for a bit. That’s just who he is.

Or, that’s who he was. Because right now, lying on a soft cloud-like throw blanket in a not-his t-shirt and sweatpants, head a mess of wild damp curls, fuzzy socks on his feet tangled with another pair, he’s feeling pretty good.

Even though the original scenario for his birthday was supposed to be different.

It all started at 12:00 am sharp with a dorky text from Sander because of course it did.

Sander: Hey there you sexy thing

Heard you're legal now 👅 

Robbe: Omg sander 🙈 

Sander: Yes, that's what you'll be screaming today during our own little celebration 😈

 Robbe almost spat out the water he was drinking, face burning hot as he tried to assess whether anybody was paying him any attention.

 Robbe: SHSHDHSHSJSJS STOP 

Sander: I'll do that thing you like 😏👅 

Robbe: IM WITH MY PARENTS DICKHEAD 

Sander: Am I bothering you cutie? 😏 

Robbe: Yessssss 😩 my face is all red they're gonna know what's up 

Sander: I think *I* know what is up 😏🍆 

Robbe: 🤣 GO COOL OFF 

Sander: Hehe

No but for real now

Happy birthday! 🥰🥳😘❤🎂

I love you SO much ❤❤❤💯 

Robbe: Thank youuuu baby 😊😘 

Sander: Can't believe you're an adult *wipes a tear*

You'll always be my baby tho ❤ 

Robbe: Haha yes ❤❤ 

Sander: I'll be waiting for you at 4 pm 

Robbe: But where?? 

Sander: 😌 

Robbe: Sanderrr tell me 

Sander: Nope 

Goodnight 😌

 Sander absolutely loves to tease him and keep him at the edge of the seat which is why he told him the place only half an hour before their meeting, for which Robbe intended to tell him off. That is until he actually got to Park Spoor Noord and saw his boyfriend lounging on grass, blanket underneath him, surrounded by Robbe’s favorite food and wearing the most charming smile as soon as their eyes met.

And he got him a sunflower. A sunflower. How cute is that?

Needless to say, there was no telling off, Robbe didn’t exactly find time for it between kisses and laughs and Sander feeding him croques and fries and cupcakes (which Sander baked and decorated himself, swearing for dear life the small thingies made from frosting on top were not dicks, but Robbe knows him too well to believe him).

And then all hell broke loose and the storm that had been loudly talked about in the media came to Antwerp and made a puddle out of the two of them.

They looked really miserable, but somehow Robbe couldn’t care less as they were running to Sander’s house holding hands, water in their shoes, the sunflower cradled carefully underneath his shirt, huge smiles on their faces as they finally got there, tripping in their haste to get inside.

The hot shower that followed next and Sander taking the lead oh so well will definitely rank in the top 5 moments of Robbe’s life. He’s very grateful Sander’s parents are on holiday in London because he’s not sure he’d ever be able to look them in the eyes otherwise.

Afterwards, Sander made them ice coffee and handed Robbe his real gift which turned out to be a long weekend in Paris a week from now, shutting him up with a kiss when Robbe was about to protest and complain about it being too expensive.

Since the concert they were supposed to go to was canceled due to poor weather conditions, they resorted to eating cake in Sander’s bed and watching the show Robbe had been talking about for weeks now. Sander, being the thoughtful and amazing boyfriend that he is, graciously agreed to Robbe’s birthday wish and sat him down between his legs, kissed the side of his face, brought his laptop closer and pressed play, as Robbe made himself comfy in his arms, the smile that originated at midnight not slipping off even for a second.

***

Another thunder strikes the night sky and Robbe jumps involuntarily, only a little, more from shock than actual fear, but it doesn’t stop Sander from tightening his arms around him, lips grazing delicately the lobe of his ear.

“Don’t worry, Robin, I will protect you,” he whispers with a teasing note in his voice, grunting when a well-aimed elbow meets his side.

“Shut up, I’m not scared.”

Sander’s only reply is a low chuckle and a kiss on that sweet spot under Robbe’s ear that never fails to send a shiver down his spine. Without barely having to move at all considering how close they are, he tilts his head and noses along Sander’s defined jaw, leaving a peck or two on his cheek.

“Now shush, I can’t focus.” He unceremoniously turns away from Sander’s searching lips, a sly grin on his face when he hears an affronted huff.

“Oh I see how it is, you-”

“Shhhh, Wille is talking.”

Robbe loves to be a little shit sometimes, especially if he wants to get a certain reaction from his huffy other half.

“Look how cute he is.” He has to press his lips hard to keep the giggle in when Sander whines in protest.

“Stoooop, why are you being mean to me.” He now has a full-blown pout on his face. “Jerk.”

The laughter finally comes out and Robbe pauses the show, cooing at Sander’s little frowny face and brushing the runaway strands away from his forehead, leaning up to press a kiss there too.

“It’s okay, I still think you’re the cutest prince in the entire kingdom.” He runs a thumb over his jutting lower lip, kissing it once, twice, three times, until the corners of Sander’s mouth pull up.

“Whatever. Simon is cuter than the other one anyway.”

Robbe grins cheekily. “You just think that because he has curly hair like me.” Sander’s jaw drops at that.

“Wow,” he exclaims, voice faux-scandalous as he shakes his head at Robbe. “Someone’s cocky today.” 

“It’s my birthday so it’s allowed.” Winking at him obnoxiously, he turns back to the screen, hands reaching for Sander’s arms to wrap them around himself again as he settles in his embrace with a content sigh before pressing play.

Sander’s quiet behind him for a second, and then his lips touch his ear again, tongue slightly peeking out to play and lick the shell of his ear with just the tip, hot air hitting Robbe’s skin turning his insides into mush, butchering his focus again just as Sander purrs, “I think it’s hot when you’re like that.”

There’s something important happening on screen, but Robbe can’t make any sense of the subtitles because Sander’s lips continue their path down the column of his throat, stopping for a second to suck a kiss in the middle, killing any rational thought Robbe might have had. His hand rushes to Sander’s head to keep him there without his permission, eyes closing as he sighs when the kiss turns into licks and nips to the thin skin.

“Do you think he could kiss you and touch you like that?”

The question breaks the fog in Robbe’s brain for a second, and he barks a laugh at the slight possessiveness in Sander’s voice that’s poorly hidden under a joking tone. 

“Like what?” He presses, excitement bubbling in his stomach when one of Sander’s hands sneaks underneath his t-shirt, fingers grazing the skin and leaving goosebumps in their wake as they finally reach the place Robbe needs them most. 

“Like that.” He flicks his nipple with those black-polish covered nails of his that make him look so hot Robbe’s head spins. “For starters.” He keeps it up, tugging and pinching unhurriedly, with a dirty smirk growing on his face that Robbe can just feel on his collarbone, and he pulls on his hair as he arches his back a little, seeking more of those skillful fingers.

With his hooded eyes, he can see Sander closing the laptop and putting it away quickly before his other hand joins in the fun, a featherlight touch to the growing bulge in his sweatpants, nothing more than teasing for now.

When Sander’s teeth tug at his earring, Robbe lets out a frustrated whine because it’s too much and not enough at the same time, and his boyfriend reads him like a book because he pulls the t-shirt off him to gain full access, mouth latching on his neglected nipple just as his hand dives inside his pants. It doesn’t grant him any relief though, bypassing his dick completely and traveling lower, caressing the soft skin, one finger running back and forth without reaching any further, and Robbe grabs Sander’s thigh in desperation.

“Sander...”

“You didn’t answer me,” Sander whispers in a sweet sweet voice.

“Whaa?” It takes a second for Robbe to understand what he’s asking and he would laugh if his body wasn’t on fire, Sander playing him like a violin.

Also, this playful possessiveness is getting to him, whether he likes it or not.

He does though. Like it.

Oh fuck, he likes it so much.

“Tell me, baby,” Sander breathes into his mouth as he reaches for something Robbe doesn’t see, and he can hear in his voice how it affects him too, can feel him against his lower back, rubbing himself off with minuscule moves, clearly struggling to hold back. 

“You, just you-, fuuuuck,” Robbe’s cut off when two lubed fingers press inside him at the confession, back arching slightly, the feeling so intense he keens and searches blindly for Sander’s lips. Thankfully, Sander doesn’t waste any time and plunges his tongue inside his mouth, swallowing the little whines that escape them with each twist of his fingers.

The rocking behind him gets faster and this is not how Robbe wants this to end so he breaks the kiss, ignoring Sander’s protests as he pulls away from him, only to pull his pants off completely, green eyes following his every move like he’s ready to pounce, and the need inside Robbe’s stomach only grows. He tugs impatiently at Sander’s sweatpants, biting his lip when his hard cock slaps his abdomen, the smirk dancing on Sander’s lips at his reaction liquefying his insides and he crawls closer to him, needing his touch to ground him. 

“You’re still good to go?” He loves how even when it’s hot and heavy Sander still remembers to check in with him.

“Uh-huh,” is the only thing he can come up with now, especially when Sander’s hand settles on his hip bringing them so close there’s no space left between them, guiding his movements just like Robbe likes. He kisses his glistening neck, licking the sweat of his body as Robbe reaches behind to position his slick cock at his entrance, forehead resting against Sander’s as he sinks down fast.

He gasps at the feeling of fullness because it’s always a lot, but Sander’s hands are always there, brushing his sides in a comforting motion, even when his own body is probably screaming at him to move.

“Happy birthday to me,” Robbe lets out a shaky chuckle that ends up in a gasp when Sander laughs too and involuntarily moves inside him. He’s quick to lick into his lips and distract him from the momentary discomfort, and once he’s done with him, the overwhelming need is back double force. 

Sander notices right away, guiding Robbe’s hips to keep grinding for a while before planting his feet on the bed and holding them in place giving several hard jabs that make Robbe hide his face in his neck, cries leaving his mouth with each thrust.

“Like that?”

Robbe just nods helplessly, mouth leaving a wet trail on his skin, but Sander doesn’t seem to mind because he continues his pace, completely taking over once Robbe’s thighs give out and turning him into a mess.

“You’re so hot like this, fuck.” The strain in Sander’s voice tells him he’s getting close so he goes back to bouncing, meeting him in the middle, and it only takes a minute for things to become too much, Sander’s uncoordinated jerks when he’s coming triggering Robbe’s orgasm too.

They stay like that, cooling off while kissing lazily, tongues sliding against each other, but without a rush for now.

Sander pulls back first, their lips smacking when they disconnect. "I'm sorry today didn't work out." Scrunching up his face, he reaches to comb through Robbe's hair consolingly. He leans into the touch before cuddling even closer, seeking warmth when the cold air makes goosebumps appear on his heated skin.

"But I loved today, really. We can go to a concert another time." He kisses the underside of his jaw, sighing dreamily. "And I can't wait for Paris with you."

[sugar-petals]

Hey Caro ☺️ I just took your super m quiz - thanks for making such a fun quiz, I feel like it helped me get into super m! I know nothing about them yet but I thought it fit soo well that I got Kai bc I’m a full time dancer - now you have me super curious about him 👀👀

KAI :: INTRODUCTION MASTERPOST (dance focus)

so you wanna know about the god of k-pop choreo? oh yeah, i’ll talk to you about fucking kai! if you dance, this guy is the #1 must-know. once you see him move, there’s no going back. i don’t exaggerate: kai is the gold standard. brace yourselves, i’ll show you why.

kim kai aka kim jongin (27) is a solo artist and super m’s plus exo’s main dancer — est 2019 and 2012 respectively — heading either group with a passionate, hyper-physical style that roots in his early practice of of jazz dance and ballet. the influence definitely shows. 

learning choreography, he’s become the gorgeous fusion of emotional grace and explosive power that unites both tension and extreme accuracy. while at the same time: never sacrificing his interpretation. and HOW MUCH HE BLEEDS FOR HIS CRAFT. he enjoys it so much. 

and he’s communicating it 100%, jongin’s dance is so interactive and raw, luring. i swear to god, put the seatbelts on for this one. it’s never just him, it’s you as well. you’ve never seen this before. he’s like “yes, i meant you, i’m looking at you”:

he’s even gonna modify the choreography to point right at you to underline that very thought. he’s so good, he can learn it, ace it, epitomize it, and do his own thing anyway. even the person in the last row will get whatever point kai wants to make. this is dance that belongs on the biggest stages.

even when he films without a crowd, it’s like you’re literally standing opposite to him. he focuses on two people: his moves, and the viewer. he has it look like you made him smile and self-aware, or you made him determined. INCREDIBLE. he shows his charisma, BUT he also shows your own (!) impact on him. it’s a duet. he wants you to join him on the dancefloor. this is from exo’s call me baby mv where kai does his famous come-hither:

he flirts and he encourages. he values the audience and wants them to be confident as well. i think it’s the reason why he’s so outstanding and addictive, kai thinks beyond himself. it’s a tango he involves you in with his eyes and how he opens his body, interprets a lyric.

it’s not about imposing himself going one way. instead: he plays the back and forth ALL. THE. TIME. in any context. whether it be frivolous, or fun, or gloomy, or sweet. even with a simple little smiley wink it’s happening. and he acts like you had a reaction to it. there’s literally just a camera.

this guy’s physique, strength, elegance, feeling for the beat, character portrayal (!), and control is unbelievable. he’s destroyed it in every fancam out there. he can’t switch it off even if he tried. your eyes would go toward him in the largest group formation still. put him in the center, that’s his spot, he showcases it.

because he doesn’t just show learned moves, he makes it radiate something dynamic and animalistic (he embodies superm’s ‘tiger inside’ all the way). 

jongin’s dance says: i love this, you love this, let’s do this, the feeling is right. he makes bodies and unrestrained touch the opposite of wrong, he pronounces it a source of having fun and being instinctual. and he never breaks the tie with you throughout, and uses his shoulders and lips to put the oomph into it. 

he uses innuendo and a ‘we both know’ sentiment perfectly as an invitation rather than just going through his routine. that’s how he can make each move fascinating. you can tell kai knows exactly how to make everyone scream their lungs out. i bet somebody held their breath just reading this post already.

exo’s most famous choreo is ‘monster’ (kai focus linked) with good reason: jongin can turn himself into nothing short of a roaring beast. it’s one sharp, complex move after the other. kai can bend any gravitational law he wants to show any feeling and pose he wants. a glimpse:

now, how to spot him in general if you’re new to him? here are some pointers. kai’s execution is clean, fast, and powerful. those are two decades (!) of experience showing. kai is an all or nothing dancer, he plays no games. he treats every group and solo stage like his best and last. his work ethic is beyond words. yeah, he’s a capricorn. his style is direct as can be, working every axis.

as you can see, jongin is hard to overlook anyway: he’s a 182cm giant made of steel. he strives to acutely visualize impact in his style and it is always successful. in fact, it’s his signature. it’s like he creates invisible objects and pushes through them. boom, he just burst another bubble.

when the song gets to his part, i guarantee you won’t miss him and all the boldness and expression he brings to enrich the performance. hell... he carries it. jongin can handle the center, i’m telling you. (look how fast he rotates here)

talking features — this is what to look for when he dances in a group setting: you can recognize kai’s face by how wide, bluntly structured and sensual it is. jongin is a sight. he has such an aura, serious, sultry, and smiling alike.

with a very recognizable silhouette (like... holy hell!):

he’s very cute as well ♡ the fandom and kai himself have an adorable analogy going on. jongin calls himself a teddy/nini bear and we joined in on it. (i made a thread about it here, it talks more about his offstage life) — hence kai’s fans are called eri-gom, eris as in exo’s fanbase and gom meaning bear. 

and i mean. look at him. what an attractive guy. he’s that handsome. strong brows, teddy eyes, square jaw, swept hair, glorious lips, tan skin. 

now yes, something important concerning his appearance and a serious topic: i don’t want to list you the endless instances of colorism that kai has to endure but it has to be mentioned. jongin has been called every name in the book and people agonize him over his skin incessantly. it goes on and on and on. every day a new terrible comment about him emerges because some pitiful person thought it was funny and would elevate them. 

he’s had to deflect, ignore, reframe, defend, remotivate, assert, harden, prove, denounce, and push himself, protect his confidence, decline skin bleaching constantly, laugh along, dance and practice thrice as hard to get the respect, and still see his dignity torn to pieces all day. i’ll just give it to you straight, that’s all fucked up. kai’s skin is perfect, he’s amazing and wonderful. 

in his own words:

— exactly right. say it even louder.

having him at the bottom of every joke is weird and messed up. this man is an utter beauty and nothing has to be fixed. it is up to him to define himself rather than get called ugly for his skin’s appearance by default, and get whitewashed at every opportunity. it’s been going on for 27 years, he scrunitizes himself all the time and doesn’t look at himself fondly because he hears these beatdowns daily.

it’s heartbreaking that this happens literally with no end in sight (’kai is just a stripper!’... ‘he has bad vibes’... ‘darkest guy jongin!’). for his skin, and how he decides to show it, too. jesus christ his skin looks fantastic, end of debate. they just can’t handle him, kai couldn’t be any more immaculate.

♡

jongin has vigorously protected fans from discrimination, bullies, and shaming himself whenever it came up. in a very straightforward and deadpan manner because he knows exactly how it damages you. (”J” in the subtitles = jongin, he’s wearing the plain white top at the very back)

we need to protect and praise him that way right back. it’s important.

so, needless to say. all in for jongin getting the center stage he deserves. because he has the wow factor in every regard. kai usually opens an MV because there’s no better way to get people’s attention with that level of presence. with kai, you can’t go wrong. if you get the center in a an all star group like superm, you are the king.

being part of that presence, kai’s stage alter ego has reached levels of infamity you can’t even imagine. it’s great to see him being sovereign without apology.

and it doesn’t stop there. he shows time and again that acting, props, and commanding the audience has to be mastered to be an exceptional dancer. kai owns his sex appeal. sometimes, he even dances a portion of choreo with his eyes closed because he’s feeling it so much.

he is a pro in using his surroundings as well, superm’s stages are a glorious opportunity for kai to show how he comfortably ‘lives in’ the 3D space around him.

which makes the viewer do the same: watching kai makes you feel amazing, energized, but also serene and enjoying the moment. 

there’s always balance. it’s the magic of it. e.g. he comes along with so much impetus and decisiveness but eventually, he halts to offer himself. here i am — take me. i’m yours. closed arms, open arms. walking, kneeling. looking down, looking up.

kai goes every extra mile there ever was and makes each eye contact count. involving the audience, one grin at a time. it works. it’s about establishing contact. he connects to the onlooker with so much nuance. 

kai’s smirk is notorious and you can see why it’s so raw and real: he makes it linger. it’s such a duality since his dancing says i’ll come over, while his message is come and get me, i know what’s on your mind.

with a hilarious twist – kai expertly uses humor. you don’t get that in many dancer repertoires. i love it. all those quick expression changes. his smile! 😊 what a man.

so — what makes him so good and known: yes, his style doesn’t deny that dancing and eroticism are one in his business. that takes courage. kai has it. iconic performances have been his reward. point dance/killing part: exo’s love shot choreo. 

that suit has swept the nation. what’s more: kai shows you it’s more than just good hip movement that a good dancer needs. he does everything at once, he puts the pleasure on his face, all his limbs are following the template he chooses.

the thing is. kai couldn’t be any shyer, but when the music starts he becomes a oscar-winning madman. he emotes constantly (!) and stays in character. this is gold.

jongin always plays it up. he knows how to use that face and does a lot of power posing. this is how visceral looks like. he’s interpreted exo’s aggressive concepts to a T.

and he has so. much. fun. it propels him. on every beat.

past every hurt, heartbreak and injury, man. if you know about his genre you knew this was coming, kai does all of that with 4 herniated discs. since debut days, never recovered. every gif in this thread, he dances with a battered spine. wheelchairs, stage collapses, relapse-recovery-schedule tales, the dilemma of injuries being inevitable, limping, kai falling into depression during breaks, constant pain killers, countless tears on stage, we’ve seen it all, the extreme end of it. 

kai works out like hell to literally keep his body from falling apart. but it doesn’t help the nerves in his back that are impacted. doing choreo you can sometimes literally see the pain kicking in and he pulls himself through with force for the last minute. once you know how strained his back is, you can see it.

at the end his expression goes fuck now it’s coming when the adrenaline fades. he takes every second-pause he gets to rest but still finishes each move. even when he holds back, he keeps it together and executes each turn. sometimes, he has to restrict himself and soften his movements to protect his health (especially in hard choreographies such as lucky one which is universally disliked by exo — still jongin makes the very best of it smiling bright and dancing so hard his sleeves come off).

he frequently states he ‘dances in any case unless his legs are affected by something’. all torso injuries are fair game, this guy is hardcore. and people claim he’s just pretending. chen (a fellow exo member) says not a single part of jongin’s body is intact. he has paid every price to get this far to follow his love. he’ll step on stage with crutches. he works SO HARD.

that being said: exo being called the official nation’s group, i say kai is the nation’s dancer. period. he has had his great moment at the korean olympics flawlessly dancing in a hanbok with traditional instruments and fulfilling his dream. 

i love the tension and drama he can bring. he can also thrill with slow, vulnerable movements alike.

kai’s is called a legend, he’s all that and even more. the facial expressions alone are feared by any kai stan because they hit home. 

this guy is a sex icon and goes off like a gun, messing around was never kai’s incentive. 

while at the same time being incredibly nuanced and so, so descriptive with his movements.

point dance: baby don’t cry. yep, kai has danced in water. must-watch.

this man loves what he is doing. he said he wouldn’t regret to die on stage because dancing is his destiny. boy, it shows. this guy has found his purpose. he can tell any story he wants. he’s a complete artist.

he’s perfectly portraying his incentive and he couldn’t look any more like a god on earth.

long story short, kai is dance and motivation goals. if you dance professionally, you can easily look toward him for the right words.

if you want to further your study and knowledge: he released a self-titled solo album recently. highly recommended. he worked forever on it, and he’s really dishing it on there. you get to hear his soft voice plus sizzling footwork. and he isn’t even getting started yet. you’ll hear from kai, i promise. he constantly achieves new levels of artistic perfection.

a last remark. jongin is amazing for a myriad of reasons that go beyond what i show you here given the post focuses on his work on stage. but the point stands, while other people have tried to break him, he broke through every barricade instead and stood up for himself. we can be extremely happy to have him and witnessing his unreal dance is an exceptional pleasure. here’s to jongin continuing his passion and confidence, healing, and getting the sweeping respect and acknowledgement that is his.

[daddywright]

ok @eaglefairy this is one i know i WILL eventually finish, i promise. the premise? simple! a thief (kay) and her quarry (phoenix wright) 😉 the subtitle is 'the great yatagarasu steals mr. edgeworth a man' asdasdfads

When he receives the news that Kay Faraday will be consulting in Los Angeles for the next three months, his first reaction is one of pleasant surprise.

It has been nearly a year since they last reunited in Oslo—at a tech conference for forensics that had ended in a gruesome murder and a displeasure for snow storms that he will carry with him until his dying day—and he had been meaning to reach out to her more frequently than he had been.

He has kept abreast of her successes over the years with varying degrees of pride, interest, and mild concern, ever since she began her private investigation business. Frequently, he would catch wind of a case of hers on the international news cycle—a corrupt politician foiled in Madrid, a smuggling ring cracked in Milan—but most often he would receive an update through a spontaneous text at a heinous hour, disconcertingly short or overwhelmingly long depending on how her investigation was developing.

Many a night he has been jolted awake to the buzz of his cell on the night stand and squinted to read incomprehensible strings of suggestive emoticons or lengthy dissertations on the fallibility of Swiss museum security systems. Once or twice, he’d been pressed to send a message to Agent Lang or Franziska—whoever was closer in geography—to request they ensure a nonsensical message or two wasn’t an indicator of danger or life-threatening injury.

This evening, at least, her texts are legible. However, he thinks, eyes watering in the dark, her understanding of time zones has yet to improve.

02:31 i’m so excited! Ur gonna pick me up at the airport right????

02:32 i bet you still drive that ugly car ew bless ur heart

02:33 I CAN’TT WAIT TO SEE GUMMY <3

02:33 i still can’t believe he’s married now i mean i know i went to the wedding but STILL, our gummy...in love...isn’t love healing, edgeworth?

02:34 have you ever thought about getting married??

He straightens in bed at that, sighing, typing quickly before that train of thought can devolve into something trying for his sanity.

02:35 Kay. Please. It is 2:30AM. Refrain from texting me in the middle of the night unless it is an emergency, we’ve discussed this.

02:35 And yes, I will pick you up. Send me your flight itinerary.

02:36 whoooooops, forgot that time was real again. my b, mr. e.

02:36 and yayyyy! I finally get to meet all your work friends!

02:37 You’re coming to L.A. to investigate executive bank fraud, not fraternize with my employees.

02:38 i can do both ;) i have three whole months

That shouldn’t sound like a threat, and yet he feels disturbed.

02:39 Goodnight, Kay.

02:40 Goodnight Mr. Edgeworth!! See you tomorrow!! <3

He sighs, closing tired eyes, and sets the phone face down. Still as vivacious as ever. It will be good to see her again,he thinks, but hopefully she won’t provide too much of a distraction to his office or colleagues.

In retrospect, he will realize this was a fool’s hope. <<<

>>> “Heyyyy, Mr. Edgeworth.”

He glances up from his desk, eyebrow raised over the latest paperwork for the Jockhee case. “Kay,” he says shortly, noting the insouciant twist of her voice. “What are you doing here?”

She pouts, slipping around his desk to lean unabashed against the side of his office chair. “I come by to see you on your lunch break and you can’t even say hello.”

“It’s too early for lunch, and even if it were, I’ve my hands full today supervising a murder trial.” He lifts an eyebrow. “What do you want?”

She crosses her arms and plops down on the edge of his desk, ignoring his glower that she would consider it appropriate seating. “Why do I have to want something?” she asks casually, missing the mark of innocent by a mile.

“Kay, I am sincerely very busy. Out with it.”

Kay sighs, world-weary. “Fineee,” she groans. “I swear, you used to be more fun than this.”

“I’ve not become more or less ‘fun’--what I am is seven pages into a fifty-page summary report. So if you do not mind cutting to the chase, or saving social time for later—”

“I’ve been watching the murder trial,” she interrupts, and he blinks rapidly at her. Perhaps he underestimated her, and she actually came by in a professional capacity.

“You have?” He frowns beneath a wave of intrigue, stifled bluntly by concern. “It’s not connected to your investigation, is it?” He cannot see how the homicide of a radio host could be in any way connected to bank embezzlement and fraud, but he knows better than to rule anything out completely in this city.

“What? No, that’s almost wrapped up. I got a lead and I’m pretty sure I’ll be able to track him down this week, whenever he gets back from Prague—”

“Kay. If not in relation to your case, why are you spending your time in the courthouse?”

“I wanted to see what all the fuss was about,” she says breezily. “You know, with that man.”

Miles blinks at her. “With—” Abruptly, he feels his stomach drop. “I beg your pardon.”

“It’s him, right? Mr. Blue Suit? The defense attorney?”

“You’re watching the murder trial to observe Wright?”

“I mean, why not? I’ve heard so much about him, I just wanted to see the guy in action, you know?”

“How did you even know that—”

“C’mon,” she says, thumbing the side of her nose. “You said he was a defense attorney who “showed you the path”-- she waggles her gloved fingers, sending heat scorching into his face— “and that was like, forever ago, so he had to be a veteran attorney, and I know he sometimes comes by here—”

“And how do you know that?” he demands. His eyes narrow to slits. “Kay. Tell me you have not been following him—”

“I don’t need to follow him,” she hedges. “I just showed up at the trial and watched, like all the other weirdos who decide it’s a nice way to spend a Saturday.” She whistles. “You know, he’s pretty good. Kind of a clown sometimes, and sometimes puts his foot in his mouth, but he’s got that—justice streak, just like you. Moral fiber or whatever. He’s just...squishier.”

[musingsbycaitlin]

Novel Writing Update: Cervinae Part 1

Thought I’d post a writing update for the homies.

I’m sort of re-organising my tumblr so everything is all over the place. I need to re-do a writblr intro post, I need to sort out all my mutuals and everything. Safe to say, its a mess right now. But weirdly enough, I’ve been writing/planning an actual novel. So here’s a lil update for you all.

(image id:/ a dark green woodland clearing with a small baby deer in the centre, the title Cervinae and subtitle A Novel are framing the deer. end id:/)

cw: cult stuff, child death, (i’m not really sure what else so if you notice anything that needs to be cw then please let me know)

Some of you may remember that I posted a writing update for a lil short story I was planning called Cervinae, and in that update I mentioned how this had the potential to be a full length novel but that freaked me out too much so I wanted to write it as a short story? Well, turns out the idea in fact was too big for a short story and so here we are.

Cervinae (a novel)

ser-vin-ay (noun) - a subfamily of deer such as Elk or Fallow etc.

Genre: coming of age, thriller, horror???

POV: first person retrospective

Setting: small survivalist commune in the Netherlands, 1995

Stage: planning

Plot: after her brother dies under mysterious circumstances, Nina and new commune member Maude, take it upon themselves to find the real reason for his death but accidentally uncover a web of lies within the commune.

Characters:

Nina Braams: seven year old Nina knows only the confines of her family’s commune in central Netherlands. she doesn’t care much for other people or conversation until Maude arrives and tells her of the outside world. this intrigues her and she becomes infatuated with the idea of life outside of the commune.

Maude Vos: Maude is a fifteen year old with rebellious outlooks on life and society. she believes everyone and everything is out to get her and so ran away from her home to find a ‘simpler’ life on the commune.

Vince Braams: Nina’s father is a piece of fucking work, god I hate him. he thinks only of himself and the protection of the commune, finding little empathy for others and despises the outside world.

Eline Linden: a young mother on the commune, new to this way of life. she acts as a motherly figure for Nina despite her already having a mother, and is one of the few adults on the commune that is trusted by the children, especially Nina and Maude.

This was a whole journey, oh my days. I would like to point out that I have never written a novel, no idea of mine has ever been fleshed out enough to warrant a novel at all, and I have NEVER planned a novel in my LIFE! Yet here I am, having planned a novel in one day! ONE DAY! I haven’t written any of the novel yet, other than the first two paragraphs I had typed up when this was going to be a short story, and I do still like them it’s just hard not to want to rewrite the whole thing. The original post is still up but I am going to post the extract again on here just for simplicities sake.

Extract:

Maxim’s death was to my dad like the news at 6; he didn’t care. If anything, it was more of a nuisance. He managed a sour pout for a few hours but soon returned to the logging he had been engrossed in moments before. I climbed into the bay-window seat and peered at him through bleary eyes, smearing tears across my swollen cheeks. Behind me I could still hear Mum’s wailing as she clutched his head to her bosom. That was the first and only time I heard her swear.

           My frilled t-shirt was plastered with dried blood, dark red and brown, some of it even stained on my skin. It was all over the bed, the counters, and the rugs. It had bestialised the home and made it hard to distinguish between family and slaughter house. A stranger would think we had been gutting pigs.

Please let me know if you want to be +/- from the taglist! ;)

[deathwishdaydream]

Dear Universe, Up Yours!

Coroner's Report

Warnings:

violence, blood/bleeding, gore, swearing, murder, death, knives, stabbing, guns, vomitting, mention of overdose/suicide, under-age drinking

Please message me if you need me to add any more or censor any of the words with an asterisk or other symbols if needed!

Disclaimer: all the events and most of the locations are fictional, as well as some characters except Gerard Way, based on My Chemical Romance frontman. Therefore, none of the occurences in this story happened in real life and is just written for storytelling and entertainment purposes.

It was a bold choice for me to create an 'x Reader' (Y/n) MCR fanfiction and spill all my blood, sweat, and tears into it. I truly despise OC fanfictions and I couldn't ship Gerard with Frank or Ray or anybody else. I wanted to create a story with Gerard, and I didn't want to write Frerard, so I wasn't sure what his partner would be. So it would be for the reader to decide. I know '(Y/n)' has a terrible reputation, but some people have to learn how to ignore such things. The reader is gender-neutral as well, so they/them pronouns are used. Thank you.

Point of View throughout the book: Reader's

*Unless said otherwise

This book was all independently done. Meaning I have planned, written, and edited everything by myself. Though thank you to everyone who has supported me since day one. <3

This book has a Spotify playlist soundtrack. Some scenes will say "[song title starts playing]" as if those were subtitles and if this was a show/film. Whenever a song will "play" until the end of the chapter and doesn't say anything about the song actually stopping, the song actually ends at the end of the chapter, unless specified it continues throughout the chapter after. I hope that makes sense... Another bold choice of mine. How wonderful.

This book was loosely based on and inspired by the series "The End of the F***ing World" on Netflix.

(Y/n) = your name

or, you can substitute with an oc or anyone who is not a member of MCR because they will already be characters in this book

The reason I don't want people to substitute the (Y/n) and (Y/l/n) with Frank Iero is because there are a ton of frerard fics and I want this book to be special and for anyone.

Y/l/n = your last name/other

Started: July 10, 2021

Finished: February 3, 2022

*In the process of editing

Anyways, I hope you'll enjoy! Voting and commenting are very helpful and very appreciated, as well as strongly encouraged. Have a good day/night!

And if you're reading this at 3 AM, I hope you can have a good and long sleep <3

[smileyjaeminies]

What if there was something more?

Synopsis: A trip with your friends is enough to tip the balance you had between friendship and love. How will you cope with spending every waking moment with someone you’ve been smitten over for years?

Word Count: 9,1 k

Genre: friends to lovers’ au!, angst

Warnings: fighting, cursing, drinking, extreme sports (cliff diving, bungee jumping)

Member: Jungkook, ft. Taehyung and Jennie of BlackPink

A/N: This work was commissioned by a very special person. You walked into my life only recently, and yet I feel like I’ve known you forever. Let’s meet a lot and stay for a long time. Thank you for requesting, I really hope I did your vision justice.

    A small breeze played with your hair as your suitcase rattled behind you. A laugh bubbled from your lips to the sound of Jennie and Jungkook complaining about one thing or the other, your eyes feasting in the beautiful scenery. Did you just call an airport beautiful? Maybe.

  You were elated, finally arrived after a long plane ride to one of your favourite cities in the world: Venice. You were giddy with excitement, ready to explore the city and uncover its secrets with your three best friends.

  “We need to find the bus stop for bus 13” Taehyung announced, juggling a map and a trip advisor in his hands.

  You all looked around, trying to find the correct stop when Jennie announced, “There! Over there!”

  Not waiting for your confirmation, she led the way, stopping only when you arrived at the stop.

  “10 minutes. Great!” Taehyung said as you all settled down.

  You half sat on your suitcase, trying to be patient until the bus arrived. The task was a hard one, for your insides were screaming at the bus to be quick and your leg was bouncing up and down in anticipation.

  “Not a fan of waiting are we?” Jungkook joked, pulling you away from your thoughts.

  “You’re one to talk!” you snapped back.

  The boy threw his head back with laughter, clearly not able to answer back. Indeed, Jungkook was one of the most impatient people you knew. He liked things done his way, quickly and efficiently. He had taken things ‘to fix’ out of your hands more times that you cared to count, from helping you re-decorate your room, to opening beer and water bottles for you.

  “That’s my girl.” He said, messing with your hair.

  You struggled in dismay, calling out for Taehyung’s help. He was quick to come to your rescue, pushing Jungkook off of you and leisurely dropping his arm around your shoulders.

  “I need you all to behave. Jennie, this goes to you to!” Taehyung said sternly.

  “Hey, don’t drag me into their shit! I barely did a thing! Come to think of it, who died to make you leader?” she asked.

  “All the planning me and Y/N did! You both were really no help at all!” Taehyung said, exasperated, pointing an accusing finger to both your friends.

  “Hey, that’s not fair, I was there, I helped!” Jennie said.

  You couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped you, so you had to answer Jennie’s glare with an apologetic look.

  “Jen, you know I love you but the only thing you did that night was eat our stock of chips and salsa and drink soju. Hardly much help” you said, breaking into another fit of laughter.

  This time, the rest of your group joined you, Jungkook even giving Jennie a playful shove.

  “Okay, okay, I admit defeat. And I will behave as long as you all do!” she agreed.

  “Deal!” you said, placing your hand in the middle.

  Your friends soon followed suit, your hands placed one over the other.

  “To a great trip, with great company” Jungkook said.

  The smile on your face grew even more as you broke away, the bus you were waiting for finally arriving. After getting your tickets and taking care of your suitcases, you made yourself comfortable in a narrow seat next to Jennie, who immediately announced she was going to take a nap. She was now laying on top of you as you listened to some music and watched the scenery come and go from outside your window.

  The boys were sleeping too and the bus ride was peaceful, giving you some time to calm your nerves and think. You buried the thought of this being your last one deep in the back of your head. Yes, uni was over, all of you graduated and ready to start ‘real lives’. But that didn’t mean a thing. Right?  

  Soon enough, you realized you were only a few stops away from your destination, so you began waking the others up. Jennie was awake after a little shake and Jungkook was only half asleep in the first place. It took all of your efforts combined to wake Taehyung up, just in time for you to get off the bus.

  Once again, you found yourself with your suitcase in your hand, but this time you were walking through the narrow passages of a city you had been enamored with for years. If you were being honest, you hardly expected your friends to follow you to this trip, but you were glad that they did.

  Taehyung was still acting as your guide, maneuvering through the streets with ease. You followed him blindly, your attention entirely on the beautiful architecture and the busy streets.

  “And if we turn here…” you heard him mumble, followed by a scream that sounded like ‘eureka’

  “We’re here, my little troublemakers!” he announced, leading you to a two-story house.

  “You rented a house?” Jungkook asked, confused.

  “Technically, it’s an Airbnb.” You informed him.

  You knocked on the door, as the house owner should be expecting you inside. Soon enough, a man in his early forties emerged from the inside of the house.

  “Ah, you must be Kim Taehyung” he said, looking at Jungkook who was standing next to you.

  You suppressed a laugh as Jungkook pointed to Taehyung who was standing a little further back.

  “That would be me, sir” he said.

  “Oh, I’m sorry for assuming. Nevertheless, come in, come in, make yourself at home!” he said, almost pushing you inside the house.

  “I am Francesco, and I’m going to leave for you here, keys and my phone number. Call me anytime, for anything, from directions, to restaurant recommendations, to the sink breaking!” he said.

  “Is the sink very likely to break?” Jungkook joked.

  “No, my boy, not at all” his face falling, his hands hanging on his sides in an awkward manner.

  “I was merely joking sir, I’m sorry if I offended you” Jungkook rushed to explain.

  The man seemed to calm down then, regaining his smile as he waved a hand in Jungkook’s direction, his words already forgotten.

  “Please kids, call me Francesco. And let me give you a quick tour of the house while we’re at it!” he urged you on.

  True to his word, he gave you a full tour of the house, even showing you a small nook that worked as a garden. You talked a bit about your plans, and Francesco was very excited to hear about them, even taking a look at your map and giving you advice about which buses to use.

  At this point, you, Tae and Francesco were alone, the other two tucked away in their rooms. Soon enough, he took his leave giving you some recommendations for restaurants and disappearing inside a yellow Fiat.

  You closed the door behind you as Taehyung entered the kitchen, pouring himself a glass of water. He looked at you over his glass as you took a seat spreading the map in front of you.

  “That was some amount of information, huh?” you asked.

  Tae only chuckled, settling down next to you. He glanced at the map, only to set it aside a minute later.

  “We need to get to a convenience store to get some things for our breakfast. Or we just skip breakfasts altogether and eat brunch every day.” He said.

  Another round of planning later, the plan for the following days was crystal clear. You had moved to the couch, Tae’s head laying on your lap as you watched Italian television without subtitles, merely guessing at what was said. Jennie joined you at some point, looking refreshed after a shower. She took the armchair, letting her long legs dangle on its side as she scrolled through her phone.

  A couple of hours passed like that, which made you wonder where Jungkook was. Too curious not to take a look, you left the living room, taking the steps two at a time to reach what would become Jungkook and Taehyung’s shared room. You knocked softly on the door, pushing it open when you heard no sound come from inside.

  Jungkook was sat at a small desk his laptop opened in front of him, his hands typing furiously across the keyboard. Your face fell, your heart dropping inside your chest at the sight.

  “Kook. We said no work on the trip” you said, your voice small.

  He turned to look at you like a deer at headlights, his hands dropping flat on the desk. He was caught at the act and there was no escaping it.

  “You promised.” You said again.

  “It’s just… Just a few emails I swear, nothing else, I just didn’t want them to pile up-” he was saying, but you’d heard enough.

  You shook your head, leaving the room without bothering closing the door. You rushed to hide inside your own room, catching a glance of Jungkook coming behind you and slamming the door. You sat on your bed, your chest moving rapidly as you tried to get your thoughts in order.

  Jungkook had become somewhat of a workaholic in the last few months. You knew his job was really important to him, even more important that after graduation, he was promised a promotion. You were proud of him of course, happy he had achieved his goals. But it all came with a price.

  He had become withdrawn, standoffish, his texts getting shorter and shorter. He barely had time for any of you, your hangouts getting scarce and even Taehyung who he lived with, only saw him for a few minutes at a time. There was always something to do or something going on, somewhere to be or a deadline to meet.

  It took every bit of effort from all of you to convince him to come to the trip with a single condition. No. Work. Yet there he was, hiding in his room and answering emails on the very first day. Was it that hard for him to have some time for you?

  Your train of thought was cut short as you felt weight being placed on the small bed. You kept your eyes closed, knowing who it was by the soft smell of mint that graced the air.

  “I’m sorry” he said, keeping his voice low.

  You gave no reply, hoping that ignoring him would send your message loud and clear: you were disappointed. He settled in the silence, lying next to you without really touching you.

  “Y/N, please. I said I’m sorry” he tried again.

  You were determined to ignore him until he provided with a better explanation. The hand over your head helped you, because you were sure that with one glance at him, you’d break.

  That’s how it always was with Jungkook. A sorry, some puppy dog eyes and a big hug was all it took for your anger to evaporate. But not this time. This time you would prevail.

  “Look, I know I fucked up. Just please, don’t give me the silent treatment. Let’s talk about this.” He said, placing his hand over your arm to bring it away from your face.

  You let him, dropping your hand on your side and looking at him.

  “I want your laptop” you spoke up.

  “My laptop?” he asked, perplexed.

  “Yes. You’re going to give it to me and I’m going to keep it for the rest of the trip.” You stated.

  Jungkook turned to the ceiling and you could almost see the gears inside his head turning.

  “Okay. But we won’t say anything to the others.” He said.

  You gave it some thought, then nodded at his request. You looked at the clock that sat on your bedside table, only to realize it was almost 8 o’clock.

  “Let’s go, it’s dinner time!” you announced, pulling Jungkook off your bed.

---------------------------------------------------------

   Ah... Yes. This is it. You thought as you floated on the water’s surface. How could you describe this feeling? How could you put in words the relaxation and tranquility the sea brought you? You allowed it to do all the work for you, the buoyancy of the water carrying your body and letting it float. Half of your head was still submerged, your ears blocking out all sounds but your breathing. You concentrated on it, your eyes fluttering closed as you felt your muscles releasing the tension they were holding.

  You had spent the last few days exploring the city, visiting museums and galleries, archeological sites and buildings. Jungkook’s laptop was safely hidden in the drawer you kept your lingerie and you hoped he hadn’t looked for it. Today was beach day, a day Jennie made you snuggle in the perfect schedule you and Tae constructed because “you needed relaxation”.

  If you were being honest, she wasn’t exactly wrong. Although your heart leaped every time you explored the city or visited a gallery, your feet ached, getting overworked. So beach day it was, and now you were more grateful to Jennie than you’d ever been.

  You sighed, your mind throwing away needless thoughts as you enjoyed the feeling of the waves running under you, in between your fingers and your toes. You felt your hair float behind you, forming somewhat of a halo around you.

  The relaxation was broken as you heard your name urgently called out. Your eyes flew open, only to shut tightly the next second as a huge weight was pushed on your stomach, dragging you down in the water. Your breath hitched, causing you to shallow some water. Your lungs were burning, your body going on overdrive as you swam to the surface.

  You greedily swallowed breaths of air, coughing and spitting water. A pair of hands were holding you up, as you struggled to compose yourself. You felt dizzy, trying to keep breathing evenly to calm yourself down. When your breathing came back to normal, you realized Jungkook was the one holding you, your own hands safely clasped around his neck. He and Taehyung were laughing, which helped you connect the dots in your head.

  “What the fuck?” you screamed at them.

  “The idiots jumped us!” Jennie screamed, exasperated.

  You pushed Jungkook away from you the best you could, angrily throwing some water in his face. The boys were still laughing when you started swimming towards the shore. You were mad, their little joke causing every breath you took come out labored and your insides to burn.

  You got out of the water, finding the sunbed on which you had left your things and draping your body across it. You fished around your bag, looking for your water. You gulped it down hungrily, which helped ease down the pain inside you and offer you some comfort. Laying back you closed your eyes, trying to control your anger. It was just a joke, right?

  You heard Jennie plop down on the sunbed next to yours, soon followed by the muffled chuckles of the boys. You pondered throwing them an angry glance, but ultimately decided against it. There was no use in pouring oil in the fire.

  “I’m so done” you heard Jennie mumble next to you.

  You agreed with a hum, putting on your sunglasses and trying to forget what happened. The boys settled down next to you, talking animatedly between themselves as you and Jennie soaked up the sun.

  Minutes passed and you were suddenly aware that someone was blocking the sun. You opened your eyes, turning to find the culprit only to realize it was Jungkook.

  “Can I help you?” you asked with an attitude.

  He took a seat on the sand next to you, his face obnoxiously close to yours as he studied you without speaking.

  “You’re mad” he stated.

  You scoffed, turning on your back and burying your head between your arms.

  “Hey” he said, pulling at your arm for your eyes to meet his. “I’m sorry”

  You suppressed the urge to laugh at his face. He was awfully sorry these days, wasn’t he? At the same time, you decided to let your anger go. This was your last chance, your last trip, few stolen days before you had to return what had become your realities.

  “Whatever” you said with a smile. “You’re blocking the sun, Jeon. Get out”

  Jungkook graced you with a toothy grin before pulling you on your feet. With one swift movement, you were draped across his shoulders and you were running towards the water. You squealed and struggled against him which didn’t seem to faze him, his strides sure as he flung you into the water.

  This time you were prepared, so you held your breath, your burning body gladly meeting the water. A mischievous grin grew on your lips as you swam to the surface. Jungkook was laughing and you were too, now able to stand in the water. You walked over to him only to find him in a moment of vulnerability, his eyes closed as he laughed. Your movements were quick, pulling him in the water with you, submerging his head and keeping it in.

  At that moment, Taehyung surprised you, pulling you away from Jungkook and throwing you some feet away. You were giggling as you fought playfully, Jennie not taking too long to join in the water fight.

   You were still laughing loudly when you existed the water, completely exhausted.

  “God, my stomach hurts, that was a workout” you whined.

  “That’s because you’re weak” Taehyung joked.

  You gave him a hard shove, which made him stumble on the sand. Another round of laughter found you cleaning up in the beach’s showers as you all piled in the Mini Cooper Jungkook had insisted on renting for the trip.

  Finally back in your little home, you each took turns to properly shower as you and Jennie fought over what to get for dinner. Ready for a night out and about, you decided to ditch the car and walk to a restaurant Jennie had found on Craigslist.

  The night was filled with the sounds of your laughter as the conversation led to all of you reciting stories of your childhood. As you were leaving the restaurant, none of you felt quite ready for the night to be over.

  So, you stumbled across the streets of the city, looking for an establishment fit for the occasion. Soon enough, you came across a decent looking club that wasn’t packed with people. It seemed like the best combination.

  You and Jennie made straight for the small dance floor as the boys brought drinks. Taehyung handed you your drink, twirling you once around yourself for good measure. Talk subsided due to the loud music blasting over your heads but you stuck together, dancing and drinking the night away.

  Ready for another round, you broke away from the group, finding a comfortable seat on the bar and waiting for the bartender to notice you. You were placing your order when you felt someone stand next to you.

  He ordered something in Italian, turning to grace you with a smile. The man seemed to be around your age, tan and, admittedly, very handsome. You returned the smile and he asked you something in Italian.

  “Oh, I’m sorry, I don’t speak the language” you told him.

  “No? I could’ve sworn you were born and raised in Milan? Italian blood runs in you, ragazza” he said.

  “Maybe I do have some Italian blood after all! I do love the country, we’ve been here for a couple of days already and I don’t think I’ll ever be ready to leave.” You told him.

  “We, you say. Travelling with family? Or a special someone?” he asked.

  You smiled at his question, clearly aware of his intentions. “Neither. Just friends”

  As if on cue, you saw Jungkook walking up to you. You smiled at him, momentarily not hearing what the man was telling you, your attention on him. His gaze was closed off, his steps sure but urgent as came to stand next to you, one hand circling around your waist in place of a greeting. You felt yourself gravitate to him as you often did, getting comfortable under his arms, the feeling of his chest moving up and down as he breathed, huffs of air fanning your hair relaxing to you.

  “The friend I was telling you about” you said to the man, motioning at Jungkook with your head.

   At that moment, the bartender returned with your drinks. You looked up at Jungkook, who looked as if he was about to start shouting.

  “Kook, you okay?” you asked in a low voice.

  “I will be once we get out of here” he told you.

   You nodded at him, waving a little as a goodbye to the man you chatted with. Instead of joining the others like you expected, Jungkook led you to a corner of the bar. The music was still very loud, but it allowed for some small talk. He pressed himself on you in a way he had never done before and you tried not to think about the goose bumps that raised on your skin.

  “Why him?” he asked.

  “What are you talking about?” you answered with a question of your own.

  “I don’t want you looking at other men like that” he said.

  “You’re being ridiculous” you said, shaking your head and trying to push him off of you.

  You reply didn’t sit well with him, for he pulled you back in your previous position. Your back hit the wall with force, almost knocking the wind out of you. You shot him an incredulous look but his mind was too preoccupied to register it.

  “I don’t want you looking at other men like that” he repeated. “Only me”

  His words made your breath hitch at your throat and you felt like a ton of ice cold water had been thrown over your head. Your eyes shifted between his, as your mind struggled to register his words.  

  “I’ve always, always been here and you…” he said, making your heart leap at your throat.

  “Jungkook, what are you saying?” you said, regaining your voice.

  The music, lights and people were making everything too much for you to process. His eyes were set on yours in a way that showed you he truly meant his words. You were about to speak up, when the words died at your lips.

   “Here you are! I’ve been looking everywhere for you” Jennie announced, giving an end to the staring contest between you and Jungkook by pushing him off of you and linking your arm with hers.

  “Tae is just paying the bill. Time to get back!” she said, smiley as ever, leading you to the exit.  

  On your way back, you stuck close to Jennie, letting her do all the talking as you brushed her off as just being tired. Your mind was hazy, your thoughts running wild at the sheer possibility that Jungkook could be…

  Then again, would it be so absurd if Jungkook were in fact in love with you? You were close, closer than you’d been with a boy before and there had been several instances where, if you didn’t know better…

  But did you know any better? All the time you were walking with Jennie, you registered the boys walking a few steps behind you, just out of earshot, talking in hushed voices. You had to gather all your courage to glance back at them. You were met with Taehyung’s moving look, alternating between you and Jungkook. Something seemed to stir in him when he caught you staring, making all his attention turn to the boy next to him as he started talking quickly.

  Well aware of the big plans in store for you the next day, you played your ‘I’m tired’ card once again, hiding under your covers. However, sleep didn’t agree with you as you tossed and turned for hours. At the same time, you were aware that the boys were still downstairs, safely away from hearing distance.

  Your thoughts were running, and every time you felt yourself relax, sleep run away from your grasp once more. Your muscles were tense as your hands came to rub at your face again and again. You tried to get rid of your thoughts, longing for sleep but alas, it stood far out of reach. It was only when you tried timing your breaths in time with Jennie’s some hour in the night that you finally felt yourself drift away into dreamland.

------------------------------------------------------

  A hand was shaking you awake, a voice screaming over your head. Your eyes flew open, only to find Taehyung’s face hovering over yours. Once he realized you were awake, he wasted no time to shower your face with kisses, from your head, to your forehead, your cheeks and your nose.

  You giggled under his ministrations, hearing Jennie gag in the bed next to yours.

  “No matter what you do, you aren’t getting out of this. We’re bungee jumping today, Tae” you told him, your voice still groggy from sleep.

  “How dare you think that I, Kim Taehyung, would even dream of missing this one in a lifetime experience with my best friends??” he asked, throwing a hand over his heart, as if to show how your words hurt him.

  You laughed at his antics, pushing him to the other end of the bed so you could get up.

  “You fear of heights did! Now, coffee!” you announced, pulling on some flip flops and rushing to the kitchen.

  As you entered the room, you felt your smile falter. Your eyes met with his, making you quickly look away, your hands finding solace in the coffee pot as you looked for a mug.

  “Good morning” he said behind your back.

  You mumbled an answer, your heart beating fast, your back still turned to him as you looked for something to eat to mask your awkwardness. You brought the bowl of cereal to the table, screaming telepathically to Jennie to make her way downstairs quickly.

  “Rough night? You look like you didn’t sleep well” Jungkook tried to strike up conversation.

  You decided to let him. It’s not like you’ll be able to hide from him for long.

  “It’s just the way Taehyung woke me up. Once I get my dose of caffeine and I’ll be ready to go!” you said.

  “Oh. I thought…” he said, his voice trailing off.

  “Jungkook? What is it?” you tried to get his attention back to you, for his mind seemed to be elsewhere.

  “I think we need to talk. When we get back from today” he said finally.

  “If Tae doesn’t die on us, sure” you said, trying to joke.

  His expression didn’t falter and you were almost intimidated by the serious look on his face. Your body moved on its own accord, your hands moving to place themselves over his own.

  “Hey. We’re okay. We are going to talk soon” you told him.

  You offered a reassuring squeeze, which seemed to help him snap back. He intertwined his fingers with yours, a small smile growing on his face. After a few moments, he got up.

  “I’m going to get dressed. See you in a few” he said, placing a small peck on the top of your head as he left the room.

  Your heart did summersaults in your chest as you struggled to keep your expression neutral. The smile on your lips was evident however when Jennie entered the room. She didn’t openly question it, only looked at you weird, raising her eyebrows.

  You wrapped up breakfast quickly, keen to be on the road sooner rather than later. You piled in the small car once again, Jennie working as shotgun and, consequently, designated DJ. Your job in the back was to comfort Taehyung, hold his hand and assure him that everything would turn out okay.

  Arrived at your destination, you felt Taehyung stick to your side as Jennie slowly came closer and closer to you. One look was all it took for you to communicate to Jungkook that he needed to check you in while you took care of your friends.

  Taehyung was trembling and Jennie seemed to regret her breakfast as an instructor led you to a side room to help you put on your gear and give you the necessary instructions. When you were all set, you agreed that you’d jump one at a time, Jungkook first, followed by you, Jennie and lastly Taehyung.

 You stepped out to the platform for the first time and you were almost taken aback by how beautiful the scenery was. A small river, (a creek?) was flowing under you as rocks fought to overcome trees, causing the scenery to be mixed.

  “How are you not scared?” Jennie asked you.

  “Who said I’m not? I just really want to do this with you” you told her, emphasizing your words.

  She took in your words, nodding a little as you all gravitated closer to each other. There weren’t a lot of people around, but because it wasn’t your turn yet you didn’t want to be in anyone’s way.

  In front of you was a couple, who was talking with the instructor in a lively way, evidently very excited for their jump. You watched as they hugged each other, the instructor tying them up in the correct position. 3, 2, 1… And they were off, dangling upside down over the valley.

  Two voices sounded at once as your eyes found Jungkook’s. You really thought in the same way, huh. You chuckled, Jungkook answering with one of his toothy grins.

  “Excuse me”, you asked your instructor, “Could it be possible that we do that, after we finish our individual jumps?”

  “Two pairs then?” she asked.

  “No!” all four of you said in unison.

  The instructor laughed at that, weighing you up.

  “Then my guess is you along with the first jumper?” she asked.

  “That would be me, and yes, that’s right” Jungkook said, coming to stand next to you.

  She nodded, taking a quick look at the schedule in her hands.

  “Well, seems like today isn’t too busy, we’ll be able to fit you in.” she told you.

  You jumped in excitement, you and Jungkook high-fiving in victory. You thanked the instructor, only for her to inform you that it was already your turn.

  Jungkook eagerly stepped up, almost bouncing on his feet as the instructor started tying him up to the wires. They exchanged a few words and Jungkook turned to wave at you, even giving you a thumbs up. Your phone ready in hand, you zoomed in his face as he smiled at you before jumping.

  You heard his cries, reaching frequencies you didn’t know he could as you laughed away from the microphone, recording his fall. The wires were raising him back up when you were called to the edge of the platform.

  Nerves started kicking in as you handed the phone to Jennie. You pushed it all away, plastering a huge smile on your lips, disregarding your trembling hands. Your heart was beating at your throat as you half registered the instructor’s words and directions.

  “Smile at your friends and then get ready” he told you.

  You turned around, finding Jungkook had rejoined the others. You waved, mouthing ‘I’m shaking’ to Jennie who just shook her head.

  “Don’t be scared, it’s amazing!” Jungkook urged you on, giving you the courage you needed to turn around.

  “Countdown with me, okay?” the instructor asked and you nodded.

  1, 2, 3. You were flying. Your pose was bad, you were screaming without even realizing, but you were flying, cutting through the air into complete emptiness. Your heart still beat rapidly as they were pulling you up. You enjoyed the view, nature running wild around you.

  Your feet wobbled when they placed you back on the platform. The adrenaline rush was slowly but surely fading and you didn’t know if you had it in you to stand up. Your eyes met with Jennie’s terrified stare, making you get up and walk up to the others, never breaking eye contact with her.

 “You can do it! I know you can! Just jump!” you urged her on.

 Jennie gave on curt nod, before stepping out into the void. She screamed with all her might, cursing at you and Jungkook as she fell, still half screaming as she was pulled up.

  In an instant, your arms were around Taehyung’s neck, whispering soft words of encouragement in his ear. Jungkook was softly massaging his shoulders, throwing his own two cents in and urging him on. He reluctantly walked over to the edge of the platform, talked to the instructor, watching closely as every piece of wire was being attached to his body.

  “This is safe right? I can do this?” you heard him ask.

  “Tae, you’ve got this!” Jungkook urged him on from beside you.

  Jennie joined you, whispering how much she hated you, but still offering her support to Taehyung.

  “We’re a set deal, Tae! If I did it, you can do it!”

  The countdown was quick and Taehyung was screaming to the top of his lungs. You laughed at his fall, still screaming and babbling all the way down. You were ready to collapse on the bench, when Jungkook took hold of your hand.

  “You ready for round two?” he asked, eyebrows moving up and down.

  “Oh my god, yes!” you almost screamed, repressing the need to jump up and down.

  You were called onto the edge, given a set of new instructions as you were told to hug Jungkook tightly at the waist as he did the same, your eyes barely able to look over his shoulder, his head resting easily on yours. When you were all tied up, all that was left for you was the countdown.

 1, 2, 3… And you were flying again. You screamed in Jungkook’s ear as he did the same to you, holding him tighter and tighter. You barely had time to look at the scenery, burying your face in the crook of his neck, feeling borderline terrified. He whispered soothing words in your ear, kissing the side of your head and telling you how good a job you’d managed.

  Safely set on the platform, you felt a few tears escape your eyes as Jungkook held you. You wiped away your tears, laughing softly at your random reaction.

 “I’m just so happy” you whispered, only for him to hear.

  He patted your head, running a hand softly through your hair.

  “You make me so happy, Y/N, you really do. Thank you for doing this with me.” He whispered in your ear.

  You just then realized how close you were. With one small motion, your lips would be on his. Your noses were brushing as you tried to control your breathing, stopping your tears for good.

  “Let’s go back to the others, okay?” Jungkook asked.

  You nodded and he was quick to help you to your feet, guiding you to the others. Your arms wrapped around Taehyung’s torso as you gushed over how brave he’d been. Somehow, the hug turned to a group hug, as Jennie snuggled to your side, Jungkook on her other side.

  Your heart felt like it couldn’t take any more, such a roller coaster of emotions and so much happiness seeming unreal to you. You savored it, hoping your heart could remain strong for a little while longer, even if it had to crash at the end.

-------------------------------------------------------

  After your big bungee jumping excursion, you knew that you all needed a big meal to fill you up. Jennie once again served as your provider, leading you to a beautiful sea-side restaurant.

 With stomachs full of food and hearts lighter than ever, you returned to your home, leaving the afternoon free for all of you. You ultimately decided to watch a movie, which you abandoned only halfway through, with Jennie and Jungkook drifting off to sleep.

  You excused yourself, walking outside to the small nook Francesco had showed you on your first day there, book in hand. Slowly, the sun set over the horizon, light getting scarce and making you set your book aside. You half drifted off, your mind replaying the events of the past few days.

  You enjoyed the quiet, needing some time to yourself to recharge after being stuck to the hip with the others for so long.

  Soon enough, you heard someone making their way over to you. You could tell it was Taehyung, his bare feet making no sound as he walked over to you.

  He laid beside you with a small groan falling from his lips. Once he was next to you, he sighed in contention, making you mirror his actions. He got comfortable against you, your hips and legs touching in a way that was intimate but not too overbearing.

  It was easy. Almost too easy. But then again, everything with Tae was easy. Smiles and laughs, tears and weakness, blurting out your deepest fears or your most precious secrets. You trusted him and he trusted you. Your dynamics were easy, like a river flowing through a valley.

  “Do you know any constellations?” you asked out of the blue.

  He took a few moments to reply, making you turn to face his side profile. His eyes were moving frantically, taking in the clear night sky as your thoughts drifted, thinking how easier it would be if you were in love with him instead.

  Only you weren’t.

  “Someone once told me the night is dark and full of terrors” he said.

  “Kim Taehyung, did you just quote ‘Game of Thrones’ at me?” you asked, laughter bubbling from your chest.

  The popular show had been a bone of contention between your group for a long time, with you and Jungkook totally enamored by it and Taehyung and Jennie cursing it for becoming so mainstream. But it seems, after many years you’d at least gotten Tae to come around. Interesting.

  “Maybe I did… Nothing you can do about it now.” He said, playfully pinching your side, making you squirm and laugh some more. “But seriously, how can you tell them apart? They are just dots” he asked.

  A chuckle fell from your lips as you shook your head,

  “Oh Tae… Let me show you” you said.

  You outstretched your hand to the sky, pointing at the Big Dipper.

  “There’s one. Imagine a parallelogram…”you were saying, when he cut you off.

  “English, Y/N”

  “Oh, come on you little baby, you know what it is! It’s like a table” you said, waiting for his nod of confirmation before outlining the constellation with your hand. “You see it? Over there?”

  “I think so. Should I try to show it?” he asked, making you nod.

  His hand outstretched before you, showing the body of the Big Dipper.

  “That’s good Taehyung, good job!” you encouraged him “Now imagine the tail of a kite following it. You see it? Like that?”

  “I see it! Wow, that’s actually really pretty” he admitted.

  Your reply came at the form of a nod, as your eyes skimmed over various other constellations you recognized.

  “These are different from the ones back home. Before you leave, I’m going to take you stargazing again. I bet you’ll love them.” You promised.

  “Is it really me you want to stargaze with?” Taehyung asked you.

  Your head turned at his words, only to find him already looking at you. His arm was rested under his head, supporting him in a more upright position as his gaze was open, inviting you in, almost like saying ‘Talk to me. I’m here to listen’. You rolled to your side, your own hand resting under your head as you tried to come up with an answer.

  “I just think you guys should talk. Openly. Like grownups. Lay it all out in the open and go from there.” He said, shrugging his shoulders a little.

  “It’s not that simple” you tried to explain.

  “It can’t be harder than that. Opening up is the hardest part. It’s like tearing your heart out of your chest and laying it in front of the other to stomp on.” He said

  “Exactly. There are so many reasons why we should just brush last night off. It’ll be easier that way” you said

  “And when was anything about you guys ever easy? I just… I don’t get it. You’ve been tip toeing around each other for years and now that you finally have your chance…” his voice trailed off.

  “Maybe we missed our timing. Or we weren’t meant to be in the first place. Everything is going to change from now on… Maybe this will be the last thing that will stay the same.” You said.

  “But that’s exactly my point. Everything will be different from now on. So why not you too?” he asked,

  You rolled back to your back, not baring to hold Taehyung’s gaze any longer. The worst thing was he had a point, and you were out of excuses. You heard him sigh next to you, but your thoughts were running too fast to understand the meaning behind his sigh.

  “You know” he said, snapping you away from your thoughts “I’ve been stuck somewhere in the middle between you too for so long. For a time, it was crystal clear to me that you both felt something more. So when Jungkook came to me… I immediately told him that he should confess. But the idiot didn’t want to ‘ruin what you have’. Love is the same. Be it romantic, platonic, parental. It takes time, work, effort and two people who are in it together. It’s not some flick of a switch, you don’t wake up one day and realize you love someone. The feeling grows and grows until there’s no more to grow and then it grows some more. What I’m trying to say is, you aren’t breaking or making anything. You are simply recognizing what was always there” he finished.

  You allowed his words to sink in for a minute, really trying to absorb them.

  “When did you get so wise?” you asked,

  “Wise? I don’t know about that. I just know you. Both of you.” He said simply.

  “It’s not like I don’t want to talk to him. Or that I don’t love him. It’s just…” you said, looking for the words.

  “Let’s say that Jen and I are out of the equation. It’s just you and him. Would you talk then?” he asked you.

  “Of course! But we’ll have to wait until we get back home for that” you said.

  “Not necessarily” he answered, already getting on his feet.

   “Where are you going?” you asked him.

   “Don’t move! Just, wait here!” he told you.

   You did as you were told, lying back to face the sky, your thoughts drifting away, your head emptying out. You didn’t know how long it had been when Jungkook’s voice snapped you away from your thoughts.

  “Hey” was all he said, yet your heart picked up its pace.

  He was leaning on the door with one hand, his other was placed in the pocket of his jeans. His hair was a small mess, making you want to run your hands through it.

  “Hi” you answered simply.

  “Let’s go.” He said, motioning with his head towards the door.

  “Go? Go where?” You asked.

  “Don’t you trust me?” he asked you, smirking.

  You scoffed, your gaze finding the sky again. Nevertheless, you sat up, getting to your feet and dusting away your clothes. Jungkook watched you without saying a word, turning for the door when he realized you were ready to go.

  You saw him pick out the car keys as he led you wordlessly out of the door. You settled in the car in comfortable silence as Jungkook picked out a playlist and began to drive.

  “Do you even know where we’re going?” you broke the silence.

  Jungkook glanced at you briefly, trying to keep his eyes on the road. That gave you the chance to study his side profile as he drove, face set, arms tightly holding at the steering wheel.

  “I thought you trusted me” he said.

  “I never said that” you told him.

  “And yet you came” he said, almost snapping back at you.

  “And yet I came” you said, more so to yourself than Jungkook.

  The car ride continued in silence, music flowing through the speakers, without you paying much attention to it. You noticed that you were driving away from the city, the scenery turning from cute houses, one next to the other to green grass and crops, stacked neatly row after row.

  “We’re here” Jungkook announced, pulling up to the side of the road.

  “This is the middle of nowhere” you said, shocked to see him get out of the car.

  “Exactly. Are you coming or not?” he asked, shutting the door behind him.

  You got out of the car in a hurry, more scared to stay alone in the side of the road than follow Jungkook. You had to trust him. You walked next to him, but he paid you no mind, crossing the street with you hot on his heels.

  On the opposite side of the road, was the sea, magnificent and angry, the wind making it crash on the rocks as if it was punishing them. It was lit pretty well by the headlights of the road, helping you see almost to the bottom of the cliff. Jungkook sat on the ground, making you mirror his movements.

  “Is this a good enough place to talk?” Jungkook asked timidly.

  Realization hit you, making you look around once more. You appreciated the view a hundred times over, making you look back at him with a smile growing on your face.

  “Sure it is” you told him.

  Jungkook sighed deeply, as if he had been holding his breath the whole time it took you to answer. The thought make you want to hug him, but you suppressed your urge. Now was not the time.

  “You want to go first or..?” you asked, fearing the silence for the first time.

  “I don’t think I’d know where to start. Tae said to just talk to you but… I don’t know how to talk to you about this” he said, his face hidden slightly as he looked down, keeping his hands busy by plucking grass out of the ground.

  You took a deep breath, trying to collect your thoughts before speaking.

  “I… I heard what you said last night. And you’re right, you know. I don’t want to look at other men like that. Taehyung told me that we’ve been tip-toeing around each other for too long and he’s right too. Ever since that night when Jimin left, I… Kook, I’m pouring my heart out here, can’t you at least look at me?” you asked.

  The weight of his gaze made you regret your words. He looked at you intensely, waiting for your next words, his eyes peering into yours. It took everything in you not to crash onto his body right then and there.

  “When Jimin left and we almost… I just can’t get that night out of my head. And I didn’t… I never thought you felt the same way after how that night played out so I-” you were saying, when he cut you off.

  “I always think about that night. But, Y/N you have to understand, I couldn’t. I could never take advantage of you like that, no matter how much I wanted you.” He said.

  “But you’d said…” you tried to tell him, only for him to snap at you.

  “I said what I said that night… To make myself believe it.” He admitted.

  Memories of the pain in your chest as you clung onto Jungkook resurface and you have to push them down. It’s no help remembering the past. Tonight, it’s about the future.

  “It’s always been you. All the girls I was with on and off, they mean absolutely nothing. They were distractions, ways to fool myself that I wasn’t hopelessly in love with you. But I am. And I don’t regret it. I only ever regret not telling you before” he said.

  At last; it had been said. Your bodies collided without you even knowing how or when, your lips finding his in a crazy and passionate kiss. You were tangled together, a mess of limps and bodies as everything faded away, leaving only the two of you.

  Jungkook was the one to pull away first, breathing heavily and connecting his forehead to yours. Your eyes remained closed, your mind trying to remember everything, from the sound of the waves under you to his hands, safely holding onto your hips and the feeling of his hair under your fingertips.

  “Do you trust me?” he asked for a second time that night.

  “You know I do” you told him.

  He pulled you both on your feet, bringing you closer to the edge of the small cliff you were standing on. You looked over the edge, the view almost taking your breath away as the sea spread out for miles on end, only to meet with the tip of the skyline.

  “Now we jump” Jungkook said.

  “Wait, what?” you screamed.

  But Jungkook only smirked at your words, counting down without a second thought. Your head was reeling, questions that would be left unanswered asking themselves one after the other. Is this safe? What if there are rocks in the bottom? We’re going to die, fuck we’re going to crash.

  You jumped, holding onto his hand for dear life as you felt yourself fall. You hit the water’s surface hard, making your muscles ache. Somewhere in the fall, you’d lost Jungkook’s hand, so you swam quickly to the surface to find him.

  He was struggling with the waves, looking for you, the wind and insufficient light not helping him in his endeavors. When he saw you come up, he swam over to you, putting his arms around you immediately.

  “That was so fun!” he said.

  “That was terrifyingly fun, yes” you agreed.

  Jungkook laughed, peppering kisses all over your face, his lips finding yours again. His lips tasted salty and you could taste the sea water on them. You were holding onto each other tightly, the sea raging around you, your feet kicking to keep you afloat, as close to each other as possible. When his hands started trailing under your soaking wet shirt, you quickly broke the kiss, not ready to get lost in it, especially under these circumstances.

  “Jungkook. We should get out” you told him.

  He nodded, leading the way over to a makeshift staircase that led you back to the top. Water was dripping everywhere, from your clothes to your hair, making shivers run up and down your spine. Jungkook entwined his fingers with yours, leading you back to the car. There, he wrapped you around in towels, snuggling next to you to share his body heat with you.

  You kissed him again, this time leisurely, taking your time, savoring the feeling. The kisses were experimental, slow enough to have you whining against him. He heard you loud and clear, deepening the kiss, his hands trailing up and down your back.

  Your moment was broken by Jungkook’s obnoxious ringtone, making you both jump. He groaned, his face falling to the crook of your neck, leaving kisses in its wake.

  “Kook. We should get that” you told him.

  “Fine.” He mumbled angrily.

  He looked around for his phone, answering it quickly and walking a few steps away from you for some privacy. You heard only bits and pieces of the conversation, so you didn’t quite understand what was being said. Slowly, you felt your eyes flutter closed, your head spinning, thoughts running. You were so happy, so unbelievably happy, you could’ve jumped off the cliff again.

  With one eye open, you saw Jungkook making his way back to you after he finished his call.

  “Let’s go back” he told you softly.

  You hummed at his words, jumping down from the front of the car and getting into the passenger seat. Jungkook settled in the driver’s seat, starting the car and driving off.

  “Who was it? On the phone?” you asked.

  “Taehyung, who else? The little snitch told Jen and she screamed that we were going to die if we jumped off the cliff… As if I didn’t research for days for the safest cliff diving spot!” he scoffed.

  “You researched for days? You planned this?” you asked, perplexed.

  “Well… I kind of thought this was my last chance so…” He said, his voice trailing off.

  “Oh Kook…” you said, entwining your fingers with his.

  “I was supposed to take you on sundown, but I fell asleep like the idiot I am” he confessed, placing small kisses on your knuckles.

  “Oh shut up” you mumbled, pulling your hand back.  

  Silence wrapped you up in the car as he kept his focus on the road and you did your best to stay awake. Jungkook parked the car not far from the house, but you stopped him before he could get out.

  “Can we… sit here for a minute?” you asked him.

  Wordlessly, he sat back, eyes never leaving yours.

  “I’m just… I’m so happy right now. But I don’t want this to be just fantasy. I need to know you’re ready to… To work on this, on us, with me. Once we get back we can’t just, I don’t know, brush each other off” you said.

  “Y/N, I haven’t been more serious about anything in my life. I’m ready to work on us however long we need to make it work. This isn’t just a hook up for me. Never was, never will be. We… We’re in this for the long run. Okay?” he said, trying to reassure you.

  His words helped your heart settle in its place, back in your chest. As you walked back to the house, hangs held tightly together, you knew that from now on everything would change. Dynamics needed to be made anew, your relationship shifting, the balance of the group’s friendship dipping.

  But you were in this together. And with Jungkook by your side… There were few things that scared you.

[fandom-sheep]

MCC 18 SEP 21

Yellow Yacks and Cyan Coyotes with a little Aqua Axolotls. Part 1/1

The only reason I didn’t forget MCC was because I got the notification for Eret.

I have Wilbur on my TV. I’m going to watch Eret on my phone. And I’ll have Tommy on my iPad probably.

Wilbur throwing a tantrum and saying he won’t play.

I feel like a true Gen Z member with my multiple screens of minecraft.

I’m only just getting the Wilbur notification.

I love watching everyone run around before MCC and scale things.

Griefing the thumbnail. 😂

Wilbur just causes problems on purpose when it comes to group photos doesn’t he.

He just loves finding ways to cause problems.

Wilbur got a coconut!?!

I didn’t mean to type the question mark originally. But I am a bit confused.

Wilbur just stocking up on coconuts

True friendship is a quote book. I have several.

Baby banana boo.

Wait. I heard the word tumblr

Scott what did you do with tumblr?

I’m scared. Only Eret permitted on tumblr.

I remember watching hole in the wall as a tv show as a kid.

Wilbur’s glasses that don’t do anything.

There are September discounts for subbing?

Neato.

The conversations in my work discord are something else.

Not surprised that Wilbur is going for top swearer of MCC

But my residents are going to walk by my door and judge me.

Alright I apparently wasn’t signed in to twitch on my iPad and it took me entirely too long to learn to remember it.

Tommy looks like he’s really concentrating. Oh wait never mind.

Wow the yaks are in first currently. I might be cheering for a winning team for once.

Alright I have my iPad split screen between Tommy and the MCC website.

Everyone break the elevator!

In the game, not in the building I work. I don’t want that paperwork.

Stick together and place many block.

I’ve been in Wilburs position. “I’ll be captain” “yeah let’s let Wilbur be captain”

Not a single POV I have up is synced. But that’s life.

Oh not starting out strong.

Just keep going. Ignore the falling people just like ranboo last time.

We are at the absolute bottom for this game.

Where’s a bag of popcorn or something?

“Stay down there. That’s how I won that one time” -Ranboo

Down they go.

They didn’t have anywhere to run.

Second round!

Oh that wasn’t their best idea. It was fun seeing Erets POV of that.

Go Teams.

Turning down the volume on yellow yacks to listen to aqua axolotls.

Aqua please. You have so much potential.

Nope.

Switching audio again.

Yellow back at the bottom.

Ranboo ranboo ranboo ranboo

Down he goes. 😂 the timing of that was funny.

Please. Don’t die

Wilbur. Scott. Please.

Scott uncovering the creeper.

Their plan is literally just sit and be.

To be fair that’s my plan for everything I do.

Oh cobwebs are smart.

I’m eating very salty Chick-fil-A chips and need water.

We are still doing ok. Wow.

Cobwebs man. The real MVP.

They are still in 10th

COBWEBS!!! And Wilbur standing on the edge of a block.

THEY WON THAT?!?!!!!

It moved them from last to eight. But still. Wow.

Holy cow. How did that happen.

I always forget what the acronym game is.

Oh yeah. Wilbur snuck and found this. I remember.

Go team!

Oh the website updates faster than the game. But we’re starting off decent.

I’m going to have to take back that statement aren’t I?

Go go go go

Fly fly fly fly

Build build build build

Go Wilbur!

Rafter strat.

Wilbur found the rafters and everyone else loved it.

Blocking his own jump. 😂

I really should do the inside joke chair emoji thing for laughing. But I don’t care.

Tiktok is nice. Depends on the side you are on, but it’s nice.

We are doing halfway decent. I’m proud of us.

Wilbur is struggling and I think he might cry.

Not bad. I don’t think.

Power sweater.

This game in MCC has rainbow road vibes

I’ll have to make that it’s own post since I feel that’ll be popular ish.

Holy cow we hit first on the website!! How?

Ranboo sweet one.

They said no peaking to Wilbur.

Wilbur making them block stuff off and the like is so funny.

Run yaks run!

I missed the moment Wilbur just mentioned. Oh well I’m sure I’ll see the clip.

First last first.

Hey 4th overall. Look at em.

Wilbur switching to full screen to show us his M&Ms.

Let me balance my water bottle on the bedpost above my head. No way this could possibly go wrong in multiple ways.

Double coins. Gorgeous.

Chickens are being sniped.

What’s going to work? TEAM WORK!

I don’t think I have ever watched a game of grid runners in my life?

Alright game should start any second because it started on the website.

Alright stream is delayed about 13 seconds.

Go teams go!

Wilbur just sniping targets.

We’re doing ok.

All this dirt.

Go go go

We’re completing things first.

Cake!

Wilbur got in!

Now they eat

Oh but they are falling.

Oh wow the painting is complicated. My friends and I would fail to communicate so fast.

Is this lever thing just find the button but complicated?

Go you got the levers!

Items grab!

My friends and I would seriously struggle unless I was allowed the lead. But I would lead us off a cliff.

Everyone get ready to go in as soon as the cake is done.

Exit! You guys are so close! Please!

Woohoo!

Go Ranboo! Go Scott!

Come on guys. Come on. Good communication.

I think I like watching Wilbur with MCC because he had a similar strategy to what I would do.

Wilbur why did you try to act cool!!!

They keep saying they are miles ahead but not according to that scoreboard.

You placed 3rd. Good job y’all.

I’m excited for bonuses.

They have another minute until the others run out of time.

Good soup.

Oh wow. Ranboo and Wilbur really are always totgehe.

We are doing well. I see the board changing on the website so much.

Where will they land.

Looks like 2nd or 3rd

Fourth overall. Not bad.

Lap time is logical.

Audience vote?

Look at me redownloading twitter.

Can you not see how others have voted on twitter?

Oh there it is. It only showed mine for a sec there.

Battle box looks close. I voted ace race.

Oh it all looks close right now.

Long break my beloved.

I don’t have time to start my laundry but still. My beloved.

Game 5/8 so MCC won’t be too much longer.

I look up and Wilbur is shaking his ass at George. I’m not surprised.

Phil and Sneeg judging Wilbur.

Wilbur twerking on Phil and Sneeg joining.

Poor Phil.

Wilbur just having visited so many random places with so many random words just gathered.

Oh wow parkour tag is low. But so is sands.

Oh wow it was a tie. Between Sands and Parkour

“Wilbur is Sand Daddy” -Scott and then all the agreement noises.

Sands of Time is my favorite practical game

Maybe because Wilbur is really good at it. And Ranboo had been trained by him.

This is just good.

I swear Sand daddy is going to kill me during this.

I am just going to pass away.

My stream delay though.

Wilbur who says he stays very quiet as he makes circus music noises.

Minecraft Rhinos. Because I can’t spell their real name.

I don’t quite understand sand of time. But I like watching. It’s like college football.

I am missing the only college football game I care about for MCC.

Go Team.

No blue yet.

All the mobs.

“You better not die” sung to the tune of Santa clause is coming yo town. -Wilbur

Keep it up guys.

Oh no. They lost the key.

Oh good they found the key.

You can tell Wilbur had a musicians brain. He just hears something vaguely lyrical and starts singing a song.

Gotta promote your band whenever you can I guess.

I listened to the last Ep for like an hour and a half yesterday while I went about my day.

I wonder how we’re doing?

Only a few seconds.

I could warm a heating pad in the amount fo time they have left.

Ranboo doing these puzzles so amazingly.

Quit caring about what others think. Just do your thing.

I swear the sand daddy thing.

I love the cage of shame for not tracking your sand.

I zoned out. Red cyan orange?

We’re almost 15 minutes into sands.

I want to play Minecraft on my iPad right now.

Wait the website updated. We were 6th?

Yikes. I thought they did better.

3rd overall though!

Wait what was that about most influential improv thingy? Good for them.

Build mart!

Oh Ace Race. Wilbur calling Ace Race his girlfriend now.

I want to see the enemies to lovers fan fictions of Ace race and Wilbur.

Oh wait I can do that. I can verbally tell one like I have others in the past.

I’m excited to watch this.

Wilbur flirt with the race.

I’m not mentally prepared for this.

Everyone just joined because they don’t want to miss Wilbur x Ace Race.

Oh no. He’s not doing so well.

Oh Wilbur is giving us more.

Complicated history…

Whispering to Ace Race and Solidarity.

You’ve got it Wilbur.

Keep on talking. Keep your brain busy while you play.

Mommmm Wilbur is flirting with Ace Race again!

He’s whispering though so I can’t quite hear it and will have to find a clip channel that added subtitles.

Oh teams are changing on the website.

“What are you doing in my women Philza?” -Wilbur

��I will end your bloodline which is canonically also me.” -Wilbur

I can not track all the quotes from this. That’s beyond my abilities.

Wilbur did halfway decent, but it still uncomfortable.

Ace Race is a person now. Also the fact that Wilbur compliments Ace Race so much.

Sally v. Ace Race.

I want to find that fanart now.

Scott honey. Confirmed cannon is everyone fancies the fish.

4th. Not bad.

We’re still talking Ace Race x Wilbur

Build mart! My dearest buildmart!

I miss them sliding around in the sleds.

Grab da flowers!

We’re in 1st at the minute.

Come on yaks!

No coyotes!

Hurry hurry hurry.

Work discord going it’s thing again.

Oh we’re dropping fast.

Move the redstone! Thank you

Alright back on top. Keep it up.

Nevermind.

I love the way the build spaces for the different teams work.

Who is the person on the build?

Oh first again? Nevermind.

Oh we popped up to second. We’re so behind. Come on.

Duck!

Good soup energy. Now all I can think is the bi wide energy song.

Time is running out.

Yeah we aren’t catching up to first. Just hold second.

Where is granite?

Game over.

Third overall now. Not bad. Last game time they can possibly pull it into dodge bolt.

I need to go get a picture with the President of the university for a game with my work.

Good Soup.

I’m sitting here making popcat noises while waiting.

Game time! Go team! Survive!

Wait where did the steamer go? I wasn’t paying attention.

He’s back.

He’s swearing for his points on the swearing list.

Is pee a soup? No. I don’t think it’s think enough under normal circumstances.

Karl is apparently swearing according to Twitter. Good for him. He deserves to swear some as a treat.

Everyone running and leaving shubble.

Oh good they are all together.

Just keep running.

4th so far.

Cars. Beep beep.

Ranboo breath child.

Calling Wilbur like some kind of golden retriever.

Bow boy

Scott is leader now. Because otherwise they are arguing.

We are playing the don’t die strategy.

Come on team.

Did I put my cut in this post? I did.

Ranboo having stolen the airdrop. And he has a thing!

Oh the boarder is right behind them.

They are fighting Dream?

Nice Will.

We’re in fourth.

Boarder is right there.

Sapnap? Nope.

Pink attack and they book it.

Oh no. There goes Wilbur.

Is it just Scott?

Scott vs the world.

Just Organe and pink. They came third.

GO ORANGE!

Please. Please let us do it.

Overall third. Pink overtook yellow.

Sadness.

Ranboo has achieved: Found Hated Game

Ranboo has been hit by Survival games so many times now.

If they had just lasted a tiny bit longer they would have come second.

Cheering Orange I suppose.

I have no skill at picking winner POVs.

I have 3 teams I was at least kinda watching. And none of them are in dodgebolt.

Gosh can hear Ranboo tweaking.

Wow. Yellow yaks just as a team twerking.

What is Wilbur chewing on? Wilbur don’t chew on things that probably aren’t meant to be chewed on.

I can hear the band outside of my window. I think my campuses football game is starting.

The drum line practiced outside my window all the beginning of the semester so it’s fun seeing them march to the stadium.

Oh and there are the cheerleaders.

Oh right I was watching MCC! Who’s winning?

Come on Orange. So close.

Wait I looked out my window. Why is the band walking back to where they were?

Along the sidewalk?

I thought it was game time for a minute.

Oh dodgebolt could go either way.

Distracted by Jesus.

Grian! You got this!

Nice Grian.

Oh Grian has a chance!

Oh!

Oh!

It’s so close!

Ooo ooo!

I’m so invested.

I SEE THE CONFETTI IN THE SITE! But I don’t want to miss the shot.

Come on Grian.

I know you do it. But you’ve got this

YESSSSS

Woo hoo!!

That was a good MCC. Now to do the chores and homework I originally planned to do today.

That was a nice stream.

Scott is separating Ranboo and Wilbur?

Please. Scott.

Don’t separate the beings.

You know. Twitter needs to politely bully Scott into keeping Ranboo and Will together.

Oop and that’s Wilbur done. That was fun.

See y’all next time!