#(I mean also when I see things on my dash of course but I'm not scrolling on here enough and follow too many people)

[genderkoolaid]

people who leave 'op believes in transandrophobia' comments on posts are so funny. the way i discovered ur blog was bc one of ur posts (completely unrelated to transandrophobia) came up on my dash and i glanced at the comments and someone had commented "op believes in transandrophobia". this was also before i had ever heard the term transandrophobia, but i was like, that just sounds like it means 'oppression faced by trans men', i dont see whats wrong with that, of course trans men are oppressed. but maybe it means something different? let me check op's blog to see what that means. oh, they have a helpful pinned post explaining everything! lets see..." 30 minutes later im like wow op is based. i also believe transandrophobia is real.

I don't think people who comment things like that even realize that they sound deranged and that when people outside of weird discourse bubbles see their comments, they don't think, "wow im going to blindly trust this random person that that is something bad and shun op without looking into it at all" they think "huh i dont know what that means but it sounds reasonable, i'm going to check out op's blog to see if its what i think it is" and are more likely to side w the op as a result, but it's hilarious to see them try it anyway lmao

Its free advertising!

[aroaessidhe]

question for book blogging people on here, just bc I'm curious!

(I'm mainly talking about people who often reblog posts about books that don't have massive established fandoms)

(also I'm tagging a couple of random book names just to not skew the votes towards general-tags, considering the question, but I'll delete those tags when it's over!)

[lifetimeoftired]

Thought more on the 'Batfam in Danny's world' stuff.

Red Robin: What is this? -holds up a clunky early 2000s device he found in Danny's room between his pinched fingers, like it might bite him- Danny: Oh, my PDA? Tucker insisted on buying it for me but honestly I'm not really that great with tech so I don't use it much. He usually follows me around trying to manage my schedule with it. Red Robin: Concerning but, more concerning, this thing... Works? Danny: It's the latest model, so it should? Red Robin: Latest... -trying not to cringe- How do you connect to the internet on it? Or take pictures? Danny, with genuine excitement: Your PDA can do that!? Man, that sounds way cooler than the plastic that lets you see all the stuff inside! Red Robin: I'm In Hell.

Spoiler: Having villains for parents is the worst right? Danny: I mean, my mom accidentally brings the food to life and it tries to bite us. But the keyword is 'accidentally'. They're mostly harmless. Spoiler: They literally just shot at you??? Danny: They shot at Phantom. They don't know it's actually me you know? Also I don't even worry about it. They don't have very good aim since I'm not a danger to them and Dad only gets badass when mom is in danger. Mom's always a badass but it's good dodging practice. Besides, I'd be more worried about them dissecting me, what with the whole, I'm technically an entirely different species that they've been studying their whole life and don't think I'm sentient anymore. But y'know it's whatever. They're not actually all that bad and I know they love me deep down. Spoiler: I'm not sure whether to borrow Hood's guns and shoot you myself or kidnap you away from here and force Batman to adopt you. Danny: Wha-

Danny: Alright a few more adjustments aaaaand there! Signal: Oh wow! Thanks! It's nuce to be able to see again without getting black spots on my vision. There's so many ghosts around it can be hard to see. Danny, biting his lip trying not to laugh: No problem. Signa;: .... What? Danny: Nothing! You look great dude! Signal: ....... Danny: ....... Signal: What did you put on my face!? Danny: Sun glasses! Signal: -skids to a halt in front of mirror and sure enough they're sun glasses. But they're triangular and the hooks go aaaall the way up to hook around the bat-ear points and look completely ridiculous- Danny Why :( Danny: -trying to say 'sorry' through his giggles, but he's not really sorry-

Danny: Uuuuh Red Hood I can't see your face, but I'm kinda worried about how many guns you're loading right now. Red Hood: I just want your 15th birthday party to be safe, okay? Danny: I'll be fine? It'd be nice if the other ghosts gave me a day off sure, but fighting them seems safer. I don't really want my mom to bake a cake anyway. Knowing her it'd just come alive so if they forget this year it's fine. I'm just, those are real guns man. They're dangerous. Red Hood: They are. -cocks gun- For Them.

Robin: >:( Danny: It was a nice try. Robin: Do not patronize me Fenton! Danny: I don't know why or how, but that sounds even more insulting than when Dash does it... Robin: This is an indignity! Fighting immortals entities that cannot be harmed by blade is one thing- but I will not accept being spoken to like a child! Skulker will return and taste my fury! Danny: Hey calm down alright? Robin: Do not test my patience! Danny: I heard you like animals. Wanna meet my purple back gorilla friend? She's really nice and is easy to talk to. Robin: .... The gorilla... doesn't speak does she? Danny: Haha no of course not! I learned her language instead. Robin: ... You are a strange man. However I will accept your proposal for now and I insist you teach me every form of communication with her.

Orphan: :( Danny, who's always been able to understand Cass perfectly, much to the mystery of the batfam and her delight: Aw Cass, I love you guys too. It's been great having your family around- and really I'm flattered! But I can't be your new brother, I'm sorry, but we do live in different realities. Besides, I think I've had enough of people trying to adopt me. Orphan: ? Danny: Yeah my godfather is a total fruitloop. Always trying to kill my dad and marry my mom who hates his guts and get me to call him father instead. Like, he even tried to clone me and copy my brain into a new body right? Or that time he rigged the election to become mayor just to mess with me. And hiring actually competent ghost hunters so I'd quit (kinda wish I could quit actually but it's fine). His obsession with me can get out of hand sometimes you see. Orphan: >:( -cracks knuckles- Danny: What? No! I don't need protecting really! I can handle him just fine. Now that I'm thinking about it though, I dunno what he'd do with Jazz. He never seems to actually talk about her beyond that one time he tried to get her to attack me- huh? Orphan: -disappeared- Danny: ...... That probably won't come back to haunt me.

[luxaofhesperides]

I'm not sure if you're still taking Ghostlights requests, but if you are: Dick asking Duke to take Haley to the dog park for him in order to set up a meet-cute for him with the guy with the weird green rottweiler

And if you aren't, just know that you're doing great and I appreciate the hell out of you

“Oh, shoot!” 

Hearing Dick rush around as a frantic mess is not uncommon while he’s in Gotham. There’s too many people wanting to spend time with him that he ends up pulled in a bunch of different directions. Dick’s always in a rush, always busy, always making time for people because he has more love than Duke has ever seen in a person.

Dick’s also got pretty good time management skills after years of doing this. He’s only cutting out a few minutes early for their designated three hour catch-up session. 

That doesn’t mean he’s going to do it gracefully, though.

“Almost lost track of the time!” he says, moving to the couch to pick up his jacket. “Hey, Duke, can do you me a favor while I’m out?”

“Sure, what is it?”

“Can you take Haley to the dog park? I usually take her twice a week around this time, but I totally forgot to include that in my calendar this week so I’ve got plans with the Titans just outside the city, and no time to take her out.”

“Yeah, man, of course I can take her to the dog park. The one attached to Robinson Park, right?”

Dick nods, shoving his shoes onto his feet. “That’s the one! Her treats are also in the bag hanging next to her leash. Oh, and she has a friend at the dog park! Don’t be scared when you see him, he’s just green.”

“Oh…kay?”

“Great, thanks! Bye, Duke, I’ll see you later!”

And with that, Dick is gone, closing the door to his safehouse as he dashes into the hall. 

Duke is left alone in Dick’s Gotham safehouse, blinking dazedly at the empty space where he once was. He’s certainly a whirlwind of activity when he realizes he’s going to be late. He’s also skilled in just saying things and leaving before any questions can be answered.

Haly jumps up onto the couch next to Duke. They share a look, then Duke shakes his head. “You have to deal with that every day, huh?”

Haly, the good girl that she is, doesn’t say anything bad against her owner and just puts a paw on Duke’s thigh, her tail wagging. 

“I hear ya, girl. Let’s go to the dog park to meet your green friend,  I guess.”

He has no idea what that means, honestly. Is Dick just talking about a dog that got its fur dyed green? Or is Haly’s friend like… a mutant dog? 

Well, he’s not going to find out by stalling. 

Duke pets Haly, then stands up and walks to the door. Her head perks up as soon as she hears the jangle of her leash being moved, and then she’s running to the door, looking up at him expectantly. Smiling, Duke slips the harness onto her, then attached it to the leash. He gives her another quick pet before shoving on his shoes and grabbing her bag of treats and waste disposal bags. 

He double checks that he has his phone, then takes hold of Dick’s spare safehouse key and steps out into the hallway with Haly. She waits patiently as he locks the door, checks that the lock holds, then runs down the hallway, ripping the leash right out of his hands.

“Haly! Wait! Stop, girl!”

She happily ignores him and goes straight for the elevator, leaving him to run after her and quickly scoop up the leash as soon as he’s close enough.

“Of course you’re a little escape artists,” he says to her, “Just like your owner.”

Haly woofs softly, then stands up and scratches at the doors of the elevator. Shaking his head, amused, Duke pushes the button to call the elevator and wonders if Dick has to deal with this every time they go to the dog park. 

On one hand, it wouldn’t surprise him since Dick is absolutely the kind of guy to give in to his dog’s every whims and spoil her rotten. On the other hand, Duke fully believes that Haly is smart enough and cute enough to misbehave only when Dick isn’t around so he never believes people when they try to tell him about all the mischief she’s caused. 

Dogs and their owners really do reflect one another. The internet was right about that.

Duke makes sure to keep a tight grip on Haly’s leash once they leave the apartment building. The streets are busy, as they tend to be on weekends, and the sight of Haly straining against her leash, ready to run, brings a smile to more than one face. 

He plots the route to the dog park in his mind, then starts up a light jog, tugging lightly on the leash to prompt Haly to follow him. 

It’s nice to run just for the sake of it. Haly makes a good running partner as well. 

How long has it been since Duke had time to relax and not be prepared for the worst? All the running he usually does these days is to catch up with criminals or run for his life. Being out during the day, moving through the city, without any lives in danger? Genuinely nice and relaxing. 

Maybe he can offer to take Haly to the dog park from now on. Join Dick whenever he goes. Create a set few hours where he doesn’t do anything but enjoy being outside in one of the few places where the smog of pollution and chemical toxins isn’t so thick in the air. 

He’ll just have to make sure Dick doesn’t agree to something else during those days. It’s still strange to think that Dick could forget to do something involving Haly when he’s such a good dog owner and a pro at juggling various responsibilities and a busy schedule. 

Well, they all have off days. This must be one of Dick’s.

The sidewalks get wider once they reach the street that leads to the park. Families fill up the space, walking with strollers in front of them or lined up at a food cart. The vivid green of spring fills the grassy fields that lead to the large patches of trees, marking the edge of Poison Ivy’s territory. Clovers decorate the ground, bees moving from flower to flower. 

There are other dogs on walks as well, making circuits around the park or running after toys. Duke spots a cat in a walking harness as well and wonders if he can convince Damian to get one for Alfred the cat. 

The dog park is on the other end of the park, as far away from Ivy’s territory as possible. The fenced off areas are separated into big dogs and small dogs, with a helpful guide as to which dogs go where posted at the entrance. 

Duke slows to a walk, breathing deeply to help settle his heart rate back down to something normal. Haly walks by his side, tail wagging, as she watches the other dogs run back and forth behind the fence. 

She’s still small, just growing out of puppy size, so Duke leads her into the small dog area, carefully making sure the gate doesn’t open enough for any quick dogs to make a break for it. He walks over to a bench and sits down before undoing the harness on her, setting her loose. 

Haly licks his hand once, then darts away, barking lightly as she joins the other dogs tumbling around each other. 

Amused, Duke leans back at watches as the other dogs sniff her, then do their funny little bowing stomps, moving back and forth before running off so she can give chase. 

He figures staying for an hour will be good enough. That should get the most of her energy out, and then they can make the long trek back to Dick’s safehouse so he can pick her up before he heads back to Bludhaven. Pulling out his phone, Duke settles in to wait, keeping half his attention on Haly just in case any of the other dogs decide to get a little too rough.

The first twenty minutes pass peacefully. Haly runs around and the owners of the other dogs give her pets when she runs up to them. One even went over to Duke to offer him a pack of fruit gummies. 

Then a loud bark fills the air and Duke jerks upright, watching with wide eyes as a colossally large dog, green and glowing and slightly transparent, comes barrelling down the street, headed right towards them. 

He doesn’t have time to yell Haly’s name before the dog is in the fence. None of the other dog owners look alarmed, though, so he watches carefully, prepared to jump up and save Haly at a moment’s notice.

“Cujo!” someone yells from down the street. A guy with dark hair comes running up and smoothly jumps over the fence. “Cujo, how many times do I have to tell you not to run off like that?”

The green dog, apparently Cujo, barks happily.

“And you’re too big for this park right now, buddy. Shrink, boy. It’s time to be small.”

And then Cujo… obeys? The dog shrinks, and instead of being the size of a bus, it’s now small enough to be carried in someone’s arms. 

Green dog is not enough warning for all of that. Dick owes him so much for this.

Actually, he’s kind of shocked that Dick never mentioned this to anyone. Surely a giant green dog would get people’s attention. Why is this the first time he’s heard about it?

“You new around here?” someone asks, and Duke turns to see the person who gave him the fruit gummies.

“Kinda? It’s my first time coming to the dog park. I’m looking after Haly, that one right over there.” He points out Haly, who is running in circles around Cujo.

“Ah, I see. Dick mentioned someone new would be coming today.”

Duke narrows his eyes. He’s starting to get the feeling that he’s been set up for something, but he’s not sure what. 

“I’ll give you the spiel we tell all newcomers, in that case,” they continue. “Cujo is a ghost dog. Poor thing died during some animal testing, far as we know. Danny looks after him, since Cujo got attached to the kid years ago before he moved to Gotham. He’s a kind one, but very nervous, and we’ve all got an agreement to keep quiet about him and Cujo round this parts. You better be holding your tongue, as well, ya hear me?”

“Sure thing,” Duke nods. “My lips are sealed.”

He’ll just ask Dick about the ghost dog situation and do his own investigation if needed. But Cujo is just a dog, and his owner is just a guy. Nothing threatening, nothing requiring a Bat’s attention.

“Good,” they nod. “I’ll get out of your hair now.” They’re gone before Duke can reply, adjusting the hat on their head as they head back to their group in the back left corner of the dog park. 

Satisfied that things are under control, Duke relaxes back into the bench, watching Haly and Cujo tumble around with the other dogs, barking happily. Haly’s still growing into her paws, so she trips and falls often, but gets up without a moments pause, ready to keep playing.

From the corner of his eyes, Duke catches sight of someone walking towards him. 

He looks over and finds Cujo’s owner—Danny, wasn’t it?—approaching. Their eyes meet, and Danny offers him a sheepish smile and a wave. His eyes are a dark blue that seem to glow with some otherworldly light, and Duke can swear he sees something shifting around him, as if the air has turned visible and twists around his body like wisps of smoke. 

“Mind if I sit with you?” Danny asks, and Duke moves to the side a bit.

“Go ahead,” he says.

“You’re Duke, right? Dick told me about you last week.”

It’s looking more and more like Dick is up to something, and Duke will need to get his revenge. “Did he? All good things, I hope.”

“Aha, yeah, all good things. Um, actually I think I should apologize? I maybe said you sounded like my type so Dick promised that he’d get you here somehow. Sorry if this is messing up your plans for the day.”

Oh. Oh! 

Well. That’s interesting. 

Duke quietly shelves his plans for revenge against Dick and takes a proper look at Danny. He’s shy, but with a bright smile, glowing eyes and strange smoke curling around him still, and messy black hair windswept from chasing after Cujo. There’s a flush in his cheeks and his long fingers fiddle with the string of his dark red hoodie. 

“Don’t worry, I didn’t have any plans today. This is way better than just sleeping all day.”

“Well, I don’t know about that,” Danny laughs, “There’s nothing I like more than being able to sleep all day. That would fix me for sure.”

There’s a loud bark, and Danny’s eyes snap back to Cujo, who is growing bigger. “Cujo!” Danny yells, voice sharp. “Shrink down, or we go home.”

Cujo grumbles, whines, then goes back to being little. The green dog only has a moment to look sad before Haly is tackling him, sending them back into another chase around the park. 

“Sorry about that,” Danny says, slouching against the bench. 

“It’s all good,” Duke replies. “So. I’m your type, huh?”

Danny’s cheeks turn a deep, charming red. He looks away, then nods and ducks his head down. 

“And that hasn’t changed after meeting me?”

Danny shakes his head, then peeks over at Duke, gaze slowly moving up his body until he meets Duke’s eyes. “Definitely hasn’t changed,” he says.

Now it’s Duke’s turn to feel his cheeks burn, flustered and pleasantly surprised by Danny’s boldness. It doesn’t help that Danny is cute, someone he can see himself falling for. 

“Good,” he says, then knocks his knee against Danny’s. “I wouldn’t mind getting to know you more. On one condition.”

“Oh? And what would that be?”

“Tell me what Dick told you about me. I wanna make sure he wasn’t sharing an embarrassing stories about me. If I’m gonna make a fool of myself, then I’ll do it myself with no outside help.”

Danny’s laugh is bright and warm and sends butterflies dancing in Duke’s stomach. “Fair enough!” he says. “And you know what? I’ll trade you for embarrassing stories. Trust me, I have so many. Nothing you’ve done can be worse that the dumb shit I do on a regular basis.”

“Woah, woah, woah, confident, aren’t we? Don’t say that until you’ve heard about some of the stupid situation I choose to throw myself into.”

“Please, I’m an younger brother. If anyone knows how to be stupid, it’s me.”

“I’m part of the disaster that is the Wayne family. I think that has you beat.”

“My parents are mad scientists and my dog is a ghost. Try again.” The teasing smile on Danny’s lips makes him want to be reckless, to keep pushing, to go down this path as far as he can.  Duke can’t remember the last time he clicked with someone so instantly, to be so comfortable with them so soon. 

Damn. He’s gonna have to thank Dick for this, isn’t he?

As if on cue, his phone buzzes in his pocket. Duke pulls it out with an apologetic smile to Danny, who leans back a bit to give him some privacy.

The text that pops up is from Dick. It’s a photo of him and Danny from the side, heads bent close together as they talk with bright smiles. He can just make out the wild red curls of Kori’s hair. 

“I’m gonna put jello in his socks,” Duke says cheerfully, already looking around to find where Dick is hiding. 

He probably already moved locations, the ass. 

“What’s up?” 

He holds out his phone so Danny can see the screen. Danny stares at it, then looks around, then stares at the screen again. 

“...Is he watching us?”

“Yep.”

“...Should we do something about it?”

Duke shrugs. “I mean, I’m up for hunting him down and tackling him if you are.”

“I can do you one better,” Danny says with a sharp grin. He whistles, and Cujo comes running over, Haly at his heels, and he skids to a stop to sit before Danny. “Cujo. You remember Dick?” Cujo barks, as if answering. “Fetch! Go fetch Dick!”

Cujo jumps to his feet, grows from the size of a pug to a bear, and takes off for the art instillation farther into Robinson Park. Moments later, they hear a yell followed by loud laughter, and Cujo and running back, Dick hanging from his mouth, with Kori, Donna, and Roy following after him at a leisurely stroll. 

“I think we’re gonna get along great,” Duke says. “He’s gonna wish he never set us up.”

“That’s the way to do it,” Danny agrees.

“Say, wanna grab lunch together tomorrow?”

Danny blinks, then blushes again. “What, like a date?”

“Yeah, as a date. You up for it?”

“How could I say no? I was promised embarrassing stories.”

He watches as Cujo drops a rumpled looking Dick to the ground, half his shirt soaked with saliva. He dramatically mimes being shot in the heart when he sees them both looking at him, and goes limp when Kori picks him up and tries to set him on his feet. 

Then he tries to act very calm and cool as Danny leans against him. “Think he’s gonna follow up on our date?” Danny asks in a low voice.

Duke closes his eyes and tries not to despair. He didn’t even think of that. “Worse. He’s going to tell everyone else, then we’ll have every available Wayne kid stalking us on our date.”

“Guess I’ll have to rely on you to chase them off, huh?”

“Or we can sic Cujo on them again.”

“Or that,” Danny nods. “It’s always effective.”

He’s really going to have to bring his best to the date tomorrow, just to stay a step ahead of everyone else. Maybe he’ll ask Barbara for a favor and get her to lead them off? And if Bruce gets involved, then Duke is fully prepared to flashbang him, grab Danny, and run. 

It’s going to be a disaster.

It’s going to be fun.

He’s already looking forward to it, and from the mischievous smile on Danny’s face, he’s not the only one.

[noctivagant-corvid]

yet another pd dash simulator (pt one pt two pt four pt five)

🎮 wheezerunofficial Follow INSULIN IS 40 DOLLARS! YOU COULD HAVE JUST TOLD ME TO KILL MYSELF.

🎮 wheezerunofficial Follow please buy commisions so i can afford my insulin!!!!

🎱 flamefestonsixthst Follow this is incredibly fucking depressing. FUCK belltech and FUCK anyone who tolerates them. buisnesses aren't people, they're demons.

🫀livingonasin Follow also they have human experimentation allegations against them!!!

🎮 wheezerunofficial Follow I BEG YOUR PARDON????????????

2,761 notes

🪶 ASHES2ASHES Follow stream at 6 pm cst, playing resident evil. stream sponsored by trix !!

34,512 notes

🤺 tearfulatthefalling Follow hey do you all remember the ghost emo who haunts my college and his purple haired boyfriend. well the boyfriend has been lighting candles without a lighter and either is really good at getting his roots done on time or has naturally purple hair. so. what else is new

🍋 forscoreandsixyearsago Follow this is the deadwood of college dorms.

167 notes

🌳 terabitchia Follow 5k notes by the end of the month and i'll ask the really hot roller derby lady who takes the same train as me on a date. spam allowed .

🌳 terabitchia Follow we reached the goal in two weeks! i hate all of you.

🌳 terabitchia Follow UPDATE: SHE SAID YES WE'RE GETTING ICE CREAM NEXT WEEK!!! EVERYBODY CHEER

7,043 notes

☐ hero-updates Follow Hero "Lightspeed" spotted at an ice cream parlor by the name of "Andy's"! More updates as they arrive!

21 notes

🪼 mackleless Follow i have,,, 506 new followers,,, where did you all come from,, the fucking tidalwave void??????

🔥 killmedead Follow yes

🪼 mackleless Follow Fucking Fair Enough I Guess

8,654 notes

🕰 cringcrong Follow bitches love me for my complex of lightning like scars that stretch across my entire body from when i was possesed by a demon

🕰 cringcrong Follow anyways be sympathetic with chaos demon/trickster survivors, nobody tried to cause the harm they did they were simply thrown in the way

🕰 cringcrong Follow [ ALT TEXT: a screenshot of a notification reading "ASHES2ASHES reblogged your post: "bitches love me fo..." ". End id.] he's got that trix sponsorship!!!!!!!

27,653 notes

👁‍🗨 darlingsos Follow [ALT TEXT: a photo of the sword in central new haven with the sunset in the backround. End id.] my friends are contemplating if they could climb up it, and i'm getting a free homework pass for my photography course with this shot 😎

155 notes

🐦‍⬛ noctivagant-notcorvid Follow weare living through a Really Fucking Annoying Chapter of someone's history class btw. trickster AND belltech controversy AND hero criticism AND meatball from space AND villian sympathy at an all time high AND all of the diff chaos demon incidents AND whatever the FUCk is going on with deadwood at All Times AND-

420 notes

☄ tapedtogetherhope Follow more Concerning Things lethe has said: "oh, you don't eat deer if they have more than two eyes. then you'll see it. duh." "the hard part of dead things is making sure they stay dead." "you know, how if you run away from home too many times the forest starts to think you belong to it." "anybody can make a star if they explode enough." "why the hell would you go to a river alone? do you want to be soap?"

🌀 goncharovenoveout Follow see most of this can be brushed off as midwest gothic esque from pre-powered era but. what do you mean do i want to be soap.

18,564 notes

[systemadministratorclu]

Y'all, I just HAD to share this, because holy shit.

A little background first:

I run the drive-thru cash register window at a fast food joint. One of the shittiest jobs there is because some of the rudest/stupidest people on the planet come through the drive-thru, and one must have near superhuman patience to deal with it. That said, there are customers who come regularly and are not hard to deal with at all. And then there are some-very few and far between-that restore your faith in humanity a little every time they come.

This is about one such customer.

This guy comes every day at about the same time with his grandson (6 years old when this started, recently turned 7) and gets the exact same thing every time. To the point where now either I see their car or I hear the guy say his name (whichever happens first) and I'm already ringing them up. Because of this, the kid now thinks I have weirdly specific psychic powers, and has said he prefers coming to the place when I'm there. He's also decided I'm the best employee this place has. The granddad talks to me like I'm a human, they're always smiling and happy to see me (which means a lot in this line of work, let me tell you) and even on my shittiest days, they've managed to make me smile. I genuinely look forward to seeing these people every day.

Recently, grandson was hella excited to tell me he had a birthday coming up. Reminded me every day "my birthday's coming!" as most 6yo kids do.

Maybe I was feeling a little holiday spirit or something, but one day after work, I went to the Dollar Tree near the restaurant. I picked out a kid's birthday card and a Christmas card. I wrote a message in the Christmas one about what I just explained above, thanking them for bringing some joy to my days, because y'know what? People need to hear that shit. Especially in today's world. And I wanted them to know how much this meant to me. I wrote a little joke in the birthday card about not forgetting the day. Then I looked in my wallet, saw I had a $10 and a $1, and stuck the $10 in the birthday card. Addressed the birthday card to the kid and the Christmas one to kid and grandpa. I give the cards to them on their normal drive-thru visit. They are of course surprised (kid starts yelling "thank you" even though he hasn't gotten to open it yet) but thankful. Then the line moves on.

Fast forward to today.

I see the car come in but I don't start ringing the order up, because it's WAY early for them. I give my usual greeting, then I hear a woman's voice, so I think it's someone in the same kind of car. But when she asks "is this Hal?" I then realize it's the kid's mother, whom he has told all about me and who has come through with him before.

I say yes, and she tells me she's not here to order anything, just to see me, since kid and granddad are sick. I tell her to come on to the window, she does, and hands me a card and a nicely wrapped gift. I asked her to tell them hi for me, she said she would and then the line moved.

I got off on lunch break and opened card and gift.

I was not prepared. At all.

This is the gift...

...the card (no writing on the front).....

.....and the typed note inside the card that actually brought tears to my eyes.

......I'm still not over this. I will be thinking about how this went on for OVER HALF A FUCKING YEAR and I had no idea.

This is the kind of stuff that makes this shitty job worth it. People like this....We need more of in this world. I'm going to hold onto that note so when I feel like shit or I don't matter, I can look at it and know there's a kid out there who I am so important to that he got his dad to write a whole-ass letter, to some random stranger he only knows through his son, inviting me to their fucking house. I'm tearing up again as I write this, just thinking about it.

If that doesn't say "you matter", idk what does.

(And yes, I will go at some point, because how can I not? I'm not gonna dash this kid's hopes and make myself look like an enormous asshole. This is the RL version of being handed a toy phone and told it's ringing)

[charliemwrites]

Three to Flee

Commission from the very sweet @ignoreprotocol

Someone leaves the door open and the pets get out.

Content Warning: Established kidnapping situation, unhealthy relationships, collaring

Author's Note: This does not mean Keeper/Kept is back. As far as I'm concerned, that story is finished, but this was a special case.

Shockingly, it’s not Feral that brings it up first.

The girls are having a little picnic at the edge of Johnny and Shy Thing’s yard, shaded by the tall trees. The men are chatting on the porch, sharing cigars and whiskey, far from earshot. Good behavior has earned them this bit of privacy, and so far, they’ve just used it to exchange keeper notes and offer bedroom advice.

“I can’t believe you don’t even have a fence,” Good Girl muses, glancing at the forest beyond. Her own yard is well fortified. It’s not just the sturdy, unclimbable fence, but also the monitors and floodlights connected to it.

Shy Thing sheepishly mentions a failed escape attempt several months earlier, a mad dash through the woods that ended with her dirty and disciplined. That prompts Good Girl to confess her own ill-fated getaway, a midnight attempt at sneaking out that resulted in a bruised ass.

Feral listens with her head cocked, nibbling at her apple slices. When their eyes turn to her, she shrugs.

“I haven’t tried to leave in a while,” she admits, “but I don’t think it would go well.”

Good Girl frowns. “How do you know if you haven’t tried?”

Feral snorts. “You’ve met Simon, haven’t you?”

All eyes turn to the boys on the porch. And there’s Simon, watching. Feral makes a rude gesture his way and they can see his shoulders shaking with a chuckle.

“Besides… it’s not so bad,” she muses. “Most of the time.”

Good Girl sits back, expression twisting. “I don’t want it to be ‘not so bad,’ I want it to be good. And I want it that way all the time.”

Shy Thing shifts. “What’s so wrong with John…?”

Good Girl huffs and begins picking at threads in the blanket. “He’s… fine. I mean, he would be if I could just leave. Don’t you miss being free?”

Feral hums.

“I… I miss going to the store when I wanted… or just… walking around town,” Shy Thing admits slowly. “I miss coffee shops and parks.”

Good Girl groans in agreement. “I miss the internet. It’s like being a fucking teenager again, having all my activity monitored.”

With a little more momentum now, Shy Things continues, “I haven’t been alone in months. Just… by myself. Doing whatever I want.”

“And not having rules,” Good Girl adds, sipping at the mojito John put in a little travel cup for her. “Fucking… sick of having a bedtime and chores and a fucking collar. Aren’t you sick of it?”

It’s directed at both of them, but Shy Thing nods, hands fidgeting.

“It gets to be a lot sometimes,” she mumbles, “I think I warmed up to Johnny out of pure exhaustion.”

Good Girl huffs again, worked into a proper fuss now. “And they’re so smug about it. Like we’re just these good, trained pets.”

Feral pipes up, “We could leave together.”

Both girls swivel to her with varying degrees of shock, hope, and disbelief.

“You said you didn’t think you could get past Simon,” Good Girl says.

Feral snorts and stretches out on her stomach in a mottled patch of sunlight creeping through the leaves.

“Yeah, I couldn’t on my own,” she explains, “but between the three of us…”

It’s uncomfortably simple when it happens. They just need to wait until the next big mission.

All three of them beg (or in Feral’s case, demand) to spend that time together while the keepers are away. It’s not unusual for the creatures to meet up when one or more of the men are gone. With all three off on a mission this time, they sniffle about being lonely and wanting company. That their houses feel too big and empty, that cooking for one is depressing.

Johnny caves instantly; John agrees on the stipulation that Good Girl is on her best behavior before he leaves. Simon, of course, is a foregone conclusion.

They go to Simon’s house. It’s the safest of the three homes and has the most space. Not to mention the girls will have some sort of access to the outside with the enclosed sunporch.

On the day of the mission, Good Girl and Shy Thing show up with fully packed bags, ready for their extended “sleepover” with Feral. The pets see their boys off, behave as normal for the cameras until Shy Thing gets the “heading out” message from Johnny. That’s the greenlight.

Feral has her own bag of things that she packs quickly and expertly. They fill a fourth bag with nonperishable provisions, just in case. Each of them has cash that they filched last minute from their keepers’ wallets – knowing they wouldn’t check them just before a classified mission.

The girls know it’ll be a day or two before anyone checks on them. Even Kyle is away with the team this time.

And then it all comes down to walking out the door.

The front door is, of course, locked. All the windows have alarms on them, and so does the garage door. But the sunporch…

“He didn’t lock the door,” Feral realizes as it swings open. And the alarm only engages when it’s locked.

All three of them take a single step out into the open air. And stop. Stare at each other a little moon-eyed.

They just left.

They stride at a quick clip around the side of the house and down the road. It’ll be an hour-long walk into town, but they have thick coats and each other for company. They chatter as they follow the pavement, just within the tree line out of caution. Pretend its giddy celebration at their escape and not a distraction from the creeping mix of dread and uncertainty beginning to simmer within each of them.

When they reach town, they blend into the crowds, weaving through the streets until they find a low-end hotel. It won’t be anything fancy, but at least it seems clean enough. Good Girl does all the talking with the receptionist (also a lady, thank god) since Feral and Shy Thing are jittery from so many people. They get a one-bed room with easy access to the fire exit.

 It’s only after they’re inside that reality sinks its claws in.

They’re free. For the first time in months, they’re outside with no one standing behind their shoulders or holding their arms. No one to appease, nothing to behave for.

And Shy Thing throws up in the toilet.

“This is scary,” she wheezes, eyes watering. “I’m scared. I want—”

Though she stops, the other two know what the end of that sentence was. Good Girl rubs her back.

“Don’t worry, they’re not going to find us,” she soothes like she doesn’t know why Shy Thing is really scared.

Neither Shy Thing nor Feral reply. The answer hangs in the air, unspoken. We want them to.

Feral, feeling restless, goes back into the main room and begins rummaging through her bag.

“What are you doing?” Good Girl asks, giving Shy Thing privacy to clean up.

“Looking for something to cut that off with.” Feral nods to Good Girl’s collar. “It’s probably chipped or something. We should have taken it off at home.”

She stops as the blood drains from her fellow creature’s face. They stare at each other across the tiny motel room, the weight of their successful plan pressing heavier and heavier with each passing second.

“I…” Good Girl rasps, “I…”

“You don’t want to.”

Her eyes well with tears. “No.”

Feral drops her bag and crumples to the ground, tugging her knees up to her chest.

“Why don’t I want to?” Good Girl whispers, curling her arms around herself. “This… this was my idea. I complain all the time. Why do I miss him already?”

Shy Thing appears in the doorway, sniffling. “I-I don’t know if I can do this. I can’t imagine life without Johnny. I… I don’t know if I want to have a life without Johnny.”

And Feral, still on the floor and trembling all over, just looks at them with huge tears running down her face.

Needless to say, when three rather miffed keepers in full combat gear throw the door open at 3am, they are not expecting armfuls of distraught creatures sobbing into their chests.

[ratcandy]

A Very Rough Analysis of Bug Beauty Standards in Hallownest

thank you @arty-cakes u've enabled me to have thought processes and now we're in a hell of our own making

Bear with me. Ok. This started because of discussion over Zote's horns. I'm gonna be combining both in-game dialogue and some irl bug things to come up with some vague understanding for how, potentially, bug beauty may be perceived in Hallownest. Because there is quite a FEW possibilities here, and I wanna dissect what I can.

And of course in my humble opinion there are no real, true Standards. Bugs are only full of love and there is no real concept of "ugliness." Because I said so. ...And, I mean, this would actually have some ground, because Hallownest is a conglomerate of a LOT of different bug species!! Truly, for there to be any one consensus wouldn't make a lot of sense, because everyone's going to have different standards Per Species.

(I implore everyone here to look up stalk-eyed flies (<LINK GOES TO PICTURE OF A BUG). To some bugs out there, that is, in fact, the pinnacle of sexy. So the idea of true beauty could REALLY, REALLY VARY.)

But hey. I'm having fun. So take my hand. Let's analyze nothing for no reason. this is a very long post. THERE IS ALSO ONE (1) PICTURE OF IRL BUG IN HERE; ITSE BEETLES. Be aware!

So, first of all.

These are sexy. This is considered sexy by bug standards. Or at the very least by Bretta and Godseeker's standards respectively. The words used to describe GPZ are "gorgeous" and "beautiful" while, as everyone knows, Flukemarm is "alluring."

So what this tells me right off the bat is that bugs seem to value Big and Round. The larger the body mass, the more attractive that bug is. Godseeker even refers to her real-world form, which looks like this,

with this dialogue:

"...And this? Our form swells? Large? Nay. Immense. Majestic. Hibernation, so long forced upon Us, yet the shell that results is strong... So strong! Thine gaze is adoring. Ye must think Us Godly. Amusing, foolish. But thou art faced with enormity and beauty, true..."

"Linger and gaze. Linger and gaze on Our magnificent shell. Our overpowering beauty!"

So like. I've at least a little reason to believe that Big and Large = Conventionally Attractive in some manner when it comes to these bugs.

To be fair, the Godseeker isn't from Hallownest. So her opinions on this matter might not align with everyone else's. But Bretta, who we have no reason to believe isn't a Hallownest native, does envision a sexyman Zote to be just as Big and Large.

Oh, and, of course:

This big guy is literally Called a "gorgeous husk." We could assume it's the golden shine that allows this one to be Gorgeous, OR we could assume it's the roundness. I, for one, think it's the Roundness.

HOWEVER, there is some possible contradictions to his idea. For one, the Gluttonous husk,

Is referred to as having a "grotesque shape" by the Hunter. Now, the grotesque-ness may be due to overconsumption (as is mentioned in the same entry), thus causing a bloated, unnatural shape that we can't totally see due to the artstyle/lack of reference. But it is worth Mentioning.

Also, of course, Salubra seems to think Ghost is quite a Fine Specimen, despite Ghost being far from Large or as Round:

"You're even more the attractive bug, clad in all those wonderful, sparkling things. I may have nothing more to give, but you must come back and visit from time to time. Such a dashing figure frequenting my store. I bet the whole village is jealous. Mmm hmm!"

"...Dear dear, I really must hold it together, must appear calm, but this creature... is just divine..."

"It's rare enough that someone enters my store, but even rarer to meet one so striking! Those impressive horns! That fierce weapon. The air of mystery! Ooooh. It's enough to make me swoon."

It's VERY possible a lot of Salubra's thoughts on this matter are due to charms, though shdgKJSDHG. A lot of her thoughts are specifically connected to the charms, thinking Ghost looks dashing with those charms on, etc.

But interestingly, she does mention Ghost's horns as "impressive," which brings up a whole other slew of questions on what "average" would be for horns. And since this whole thing initially started as a discussion on Zote's horns, well. Now I'm just wondering!!

Because in Bretta's sexyman version of Zote, she doesn't give him symmetrical horns. Sure, in a meta way, you could argue that's just a way to make sure GPZ is recognizable as a version of Zote. BUT!!!! When I was talkin earlier, I was speculating an idea where symmetry could be conventionally attractive in some way, and asymmetry could be generally unappealing. So it's interesting that a potentially unattractive quality would be kept on the Sexyman version. I suppose if Zote told Bretta he lost his horn in some grand battle, or whatever, of COURSE she wouldn't get rid of his epic battle scar. But at the same time, if he DIDN'T say that, then she just chose to keep it..... perhaps assuming it was a scar herself, or perhaps Bretta just doesn't take symmetry into account as a Beauty Thing. I dunno! Many possibilities there.

And if Ghost's little baby horns are impressive, then... Good lird, what do we make of the Hollow Knight then, right? Or hell, even Hornet!

I'm not sure if we wanna use that as a True scale for Horn standard. Especially especially seeing as Ghost isn't even physically mature, as far as we're aware (the Hollow Knight is specifically mentioned as "fully grown Vessel" in the Hunter's Journal, so). After all, it is ALSO very possible that Salubra was just Saying things as a means to convince you to buy stuff.

So for now let's abandon Salubra's thoughts. Let's go elsewhere.

In IRL bug talk, horns are generally a means for mate selection and/or competition with rivals. Usually these two things go hand-in-hand (competition is For Mates, I mean. or other resources).

after all, how are you gonna toss a guy off a tree if you don't got horn.

So it's not out of the question to think that horns on the Hallownest bugs would have some sort of Meaning. Especially since we see a LOT of bugs with varying horn sizes/shapes. And if we want to say every face we see is actually a mask, then that's even more telling! Because then horns are specifically being added to masks for one reason or another.

So that makes me Really wonder.

like this is obnoxious. what do you need all that horn for. Those don't even look practical for battling with. Granted, the shape of the Pale King's "crown" looks VERY similar to the mouth of the Wyrm corpse, so it's possible he just Kept that shape as his crown rather than intend for it to be horns.

But STILL. How do you think the bugs of Hallownest felt about this thing? Like that's so many horns. If he's meant to look like a "common bug," how to those Common Bugs feel about all those horns. Like sir that's excessive. We don't have all those. The most any one common bug has is three, iirc. So like. Huh.

Or would More Horn = more attractive? I'm uncertain. PK might not be all that conventionally attractive anyway. Given the lack of Large and Round going on. He is, in fact, small and pointy. So who's to say.

Anyway. Drop the horn talk for now. I want to go back to Bretta.

Bretta forms crushes on Ghost and Zote. But I don't think she's attracted their actual honest-to-Wyrm appearances. She creates idealized versions of her crushes and seems to only tangentially connect them to the real person, given... well. GPZ looks like that, and Zote does NOT look like that.

In her thoughts, she considers Zote "beautiful." In the first diary entry, she calls Ghost "beautiful." But she also writes Ghost as "standing tall," while Ghost is anything but tall, and. Yes. Again. GPZ. And in her last set of thoughts about Zote, she seems to only then see him as "smaller, tattered and stained." At some point, she seems to stop seeing a real Figure, and only sees an idolized, fake version of that Figure.

So I don't think she sees either Ghost or Zote as physically attractive on their own. More the idea of what they "could" be.

Does that all make sense? God I sure hope so. I have another Bretta thing to mention, though.

In one of the Zoteling Hunter's Journal entries, aka a snippet from Bretta's zote fanfiction, we've got this:

""That lowly map-maker's wife? Hah! My Queen, how could you compare yourself to her? In the face of your intoxicating beauty, all other females are merely dust!" The Grey Prince trembled with anger and indignation... and love."

So. That tells us Bretta sees Iselda as conventionally attractive in some way. Or, at the very least, feels a need to compare herself to Iselda to the point of writing about it in her fanfiction. So let's look at Iselda.

The only thing we can say for certain about Iselda that follows with anything we've spat out so far is that Iselda, while not Large in a GPZ way, is very TALL. To the point where Elderbug has a whole thing of dialogue talking about how tall Iselda is:

"She's a tall bug, the wife. I told them to take a larger house, especially given they're all empty, but they liked the look of that one. The way she has to bend just to get through the door...I wouldn't put up with it myself."

So we do have the Large-in-a-Way thing going. And for all we know, since she used to be a warrior, she could also have SICK muscles. She could pick me up and throw me, I think. And round... I mean. Her, um. Well her abdomen, I suppose, is . Rather round. But she's otherwise not Round in the sense that Flukemarm is round, or the Gorgeous Husk is Round.

So who knows!!! Perhaps it's just the Largeness/Height that contributes to attractiveness as opposed to fat. But I choose to believe fat is a positive factor anyway. Because I can, so there.

IT'S TIME TO TALK ABOUT SMELLS.

ok, technically, I could end that there. Because I can't find TOO Much more dialogue talking about the Beauty of Bugkind. I've checked around, but... MMm. Not too much, really!

BUT. While not, perhaps, part of a bug's seen appearance... There does seem to also be a little variation on Smell opinions. Which could definitely add to conventional attractiveness, especially since irl bugs are CHOCK FULL of sexy smelly pheromones. looking at you bombykol ....

And by that I mean. Responses to the Defender's Crest.

Leg Eater thinks it's a "tasty" smell and will give you a discount for it. Tuk recognizes the smell as that of a "friend," and well also give you a discount for it (in that case, it's more likely she just recognizes it as Ogrim's smell as opposed to anything Attractive about it, lmao, but STILL). Of course, Ogrim thinks it's a "just" smell.

Elderbug and Lemm are the only ones I can think of that have blatantly negative responses (Elderbug says something about the air smelling horrid while Lemm. Um: "Urgh! What do you think you're doing, coming into my nice little shop stinking like that?! These relics have been through enough. They don't need you spreading your stench all over them! Crawl back to the Waterways or wherever you came from!").

The White Lady obviously also associates it with Ogrim, saying it brings "joyous memories."

SO you're probably thinking. Hey Clam, this is a strange side-tangent to go on. There's not too much about the Defender's Crest smell that really works with your theory. Two characters dislike it, and two others only like it because they associate it with Ogrim. So, what gives?

divine's dialogue:

"Ahhhh, that smell! So strong, so virile..."

do you know. What virile means?

i'm sorry . I do not think Team Cherry meant it this way. But GOD HELP ME if it isn't REALLY FUNNy,

OKAY. Okay. I think... I think I'm done for now. There isn't a hell of a lot more I can find within game to go off of. and when it comes to irl bugs, well. Again, it varies pretty heavily by species!! So much is possible here. Refer to stalk eyed flies again. Sometimes, to a bug, having super long eye stalks is what's hot. Other times, all it's about is if you can throw a guy off a tree.

Or you're a giant water bug and being a good dad is sexy. I'm not joking. It's called sexy dad hypothesis. And well. I'm not here to shame the dads of Hallownest, but...

So. Yes!!!! OKay. I said words. I wrote this all in one very quick sitting and now I'm wandering away. I have things to do that I am presently not doing because I'm analyzing bug beauty standards.

[goatcheesecak3]

I hate you too Pt.1

Adam Faulkner-Stanheight x afab!reader

Minors dni

Warnings: nsfw, alcohol use

Fic type: enemies to lovers, smut, a dash of fluff at the very end, also Scott Tibbs cameo teehee

Summary: you and Adam have been rivals for years, but after begrudgingly letting him crash at your apartment, things take an unexpected turn.

A/n: this is my first time writing a smut in YEARS so I'm a little rusty. This is just a short one, but I how you enjoy it! I've maybe got an idea for a part two of this, so let me know if you want it!

"Are you fucking kidding me? You didn't tell me he was gonna be here" you huffed to your friend, Mark.

"Was I meant to?" He asked, looking at you as if you were insane.

"Yes! I wouldn't have come if I knew he was gonna be here"

You were at some sleazy dive bar, you and a group of friends had decided you all needed to get outside and have some fun- well, you, your friends and him.

"Him" was Adam, a twenty seven year old photographer with a mean attitude. He was as much of a part of the group as you were, his friends were your friends and they all got along. However, for some reason the pair of you never clicked. You thought he was hot-headed and rude, while he thought you were vapid and snarky.

"Come on, just play nice for tonight, alright?" Mark pleaded with you, "he's been having a rough time lately. You know it's coming up on one year now..."

Almost a year ago, Adam had had a pretty terrible ordeal. He'd been kidnapped by a serial killer and chained up somewhere. He was missing for about a week before he was found, shackled, bloody and nearly dead. You hated his guts, but even you found yourself worrying for him. You recalled back to when you and your friends had visited him in the hospital...

...

"I didn't know any of you guys could bake, who made these? They're better than an orgasm" Adam groaned, munching away on a third cookie.

"That was your best friend" Mark had teased, while your other friend, Scott let out a snigger.

"You made me cookies?" Adam raised an eyebrow at you "have you tampered with these in any way?"

"No, I haven't tampered with them you dumbass. Besides, you're literally going in for your fourth one right now, would it really matter if I had at this point?" You rolled your eyes.

Mark and Scott giggled to themselves, they loved watching the two of you argue.

"So if you're not trying to poison me, then why did you...?"

"Look, this doesn't mean we're friends or anything, okay. I just... I guess getting kidnapped probably sucked" you looked away, not wanting to continue taking and accidentally say something too nice.

...

Adam came over to the booth where you, Scott and Mark had been sat, sipping on beers.

"I think that's my cue to go for a cigarette" you said, rising from your seat.

"You gotta cut down on those man, they'll kill you someday" Scott tutted, half joking.

"Don't threaten me with a good time" you called as you dissappeared into the outdoor smoking area.

It was peaceful out there, no one else but you. You huddled yourself under a grimy looking awning and struggled to light your cigarette with your shitty, dying lighter.

"You shouldn't joke about that shit" an all too familiar voice broke the silence.

You spun around, slightly startled, to see Adam stood there.

"Don't follow me, you creep" you scoffed, unable to hide the disgust in your face, even if you wanted to.

"I'm serious, don't joke about wanting to die in public. You don't know who's listening"

He was referring to jigsaw, of course. His whole "cherish your life" thing made jokes like that grounds for kidnap and torture. Adam had a good point.

"Just looking out for you" he said, his unwelcoming expression unchanging.

You glared at him, your frustration building as you struggled to light your cigarette.

"Just use this" he tossed his own lighter to you.

"Thanks".

When you had finished lighting yours, Adam lit up one for himself. The two of you smoked in silence, avoiding eye contact and shuffling your feet awkwardly.

...

Your walk home was a strange one, to say the least. Your mind felt cloudy, so you decided to take the long way home. You'd drank just enough alcohol to reach a weird stare of clarity, where your mind was alert enough for you to think coherently, but uninhibited so that you could think about things your sober mind had tried to avoid. Your dream of consciousness ran wild, leading you to all sorts of conclusions.

"Why am I still single? The guys in this city are ugly, that's why. No, that's mean. They're not ugly, just boring yuppie types. I'm friends with the three good looking guys in the city but you couldn't pay me to date them. Oh, admitting that Adam is your friend? Admitting that he's good looking are we now? Okay well maybe he's not my friend, but it's been well established that he's a good looking guy. Hate to admit it, but if his mouth never opened I'd probably find him hot.

Your train of thought took all sorts of twists and turns, but it kept seeming to take you back to thoughts of Adam. You put it down to being drunk and stupid, reminding yourself that you despised Adam, you couldn't stand to see his face, you couldn't stand his whiney, high pitched voice. Ugh. It was so irritating you could practically hear it- no, you could hear it, like really, actually hear it.

"What the fuck? Why didn't my landlord tell me he was doing this tonight?"

Adam was pacing back and forth on the sidewalk, next to his apartment building, which had been draped in a yellow and black striped tent. As he paced, he whacked his mobile phone with his hand a few times, muttering things like "shit" and "Come on, stupid thing".

It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what had happened here. Adam's apartment building had been fumigated, and with no working phone, he was pretty much stranded for the night. You couldn't help but laugh.

Adam's eyes shot towards you, his expression a mixture of hatred and relief. You were the last person he wanted to see him struggle, but at least he knew you'd begrudgingly help him out.

"Jesus y/n, you scared the shit outta me. Did you follow me or something?"

You shook your head.

"I was out for a walk, this little shitshow" you pointed toward him "was just a happy coincidence."

Adam bit the insides of his cheeks. He wanted to be rude to you, he wanted so bad to wipe that smug grin off your face, but he knew he couldn't, not while he needed something from you.

"Can I borrow your phone? I need to call scott" his voice had no inflection whatsoever.

"Negative. Out of juice"

"Ah jesus, fuck.." Adam held his head and began to pace. He looked less annoyed and more concerned now.

"Fuck!" He yelled through gritted teeth, throwing his nokia onto the floor. In an anticlimactic bounce, it landed by your feet.

"Jeez, if it's that serious you can just charge this thing at my place" you sighed, picking up his phone and noting that you had the same one.

Adam looked at you as though you were lying to him.

"Come ON, before I change my mind" you ordered, finally feeling the cold of the night, and wanting to be inside quickly.

Adam followed, and the two of you walked in silence.

...

There was something palpable in the air of your tiny apartment that night, like a storm brewing. It intensified by the second, and when Adam threw himself onto your sofa as if he owned the place it only became stronger. You marched to your bedroom to grab your charger, quietly seething. Everything he did pissed you off. The way he so arrogantly shoved your decorative cushions aside so he could sit, the way he looked at your posters, your furniture. Judging, silently judging. You tossed him the charger, and sat in an armchair. The sofa had plenty of room for you to sit too, but the thought of being in such close proximity to him filled you with a white hot burning rage.

Some time passed, neither of you had spoken, instead opting to chainsmoke. Part of you was hoping the thick cloud of smoke would obscure your view of him. The silence sat heavily above you, until Adam's voice broke through it.

"Scott's not picking up."

"Have you tried Mar-"

"Obviously I've tried Mark"

Both your sentences were short, snappy. Being alone together was uncomfortable and awkward as all hell, if just one of you could swallow your pride and break the ice it would have been bearable at least, but you were both stubborn as mules.

Adam let out a sigh.

"Look, this isn't ideal for either of us but.." You took a deep breath, "you can stay here if you're really outta options"

Adam responded to this, in what you assumed was his language for gratitude. He liberated a small bottle of whiskey from the inside pocket of hig ratty jacket and plopped it down on the coffee table.

"If this is as much of a nightmare for you as it is for me, then I think we could both use some of this" he said.

"Hey look, finally something we can agree on" you almost laughed, standing up to head to the kitchen and grab two tumblers.

The two of you drank generous amounts, you had put a record on quietly just to add some sort of ambience, because the silence had begun to feel quite oppressive.

"You know, there's probably more than just that" Adam finally said, startling you a little.

"Huh?"

"I mean, there's probably more we agree on than just the fact that tonight is a nightmare"

"Dude, that conversation was like 20 minutes ago, are you slow or something?" You scoffed.

Adam rolled his eyes

"I mean, shit y/n, I love this album. All your posters, the stacks of dvds, we pretty much have the same apartment. Maybe yours is a bit more flouncy than mine.."

"And also yours is filled with bugs judging by that fumigation tent" you quipped, unable to resist the urge to get a jab in.

Adam paused, and gave you a look. It wasn't one you knew how to describe.

"What I'm saying is, we've got a lot in common. I seriously don't get why you have such a problem with me"

You were absolutely dumbfounded. That jerk! He was acting like you were the one with a problem? You sat there with your mouth agape for a second or two, before snapping at him.

"You're the one that started this feud! Always giving me dirty looks, poking fun at the way I dress, which by the way, is ridiculous because we dress exactly the same!" You blurted out, almost raising your voice.

Unexpectedly Adam began to laugh. He threw his head back and cackled like a hyena.

"Have you lost your damn mind?" You asked, a slight tone of seriousness to your voice.

"No, no, no... I- I get out now" Adam struggled to get out between laughs, "I get why we hate eachother so much"

Your curiosity got the better of you

"Why...?"

"Okay so, there's always been something between us, we thought it was animosity, right?" His face became plastered with a devilish grin

"It's not that, it's not that at all. It's sexual tension"

"That's disgusting! You're sick in the head!" You cried out, insulted at the very notion.

"Come on, y/n, we both know it. You wanna hit this sooooo bad" he smirked, his smug, awful grin sending waves of anger throughout your body.

"That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard" you retorted, doing your best to ignore what felt like excitement bubbling in your chest... and other parts of your body.

"Aw, are you too much of a good girl to admit it?" He teased.

You tried to fight it, but it was absolutely no use. Those two words just did something to you. Your body, not wanting to comply with your better judgement, gave away your feelings. You blushed, and Adam saw it.

He let out a low chuckle. He was infuriating, you felt this innate, primal urge deep inside you, like you wanted to pounce on him. But to do what? Punch him? Kiss him? You'd find out in the moment.

"Get up" you ordered, rising to your feet

"Woah, are you gonna try and fight me out something?" Adam laughed, only half concerned.

"I don't know yet" you said flatly, eyes trained on Adam as he stood to face you.

Before you could make a decision, your body reacted for you. Your arms threw themselves around his shoulders, one hand running itself through his surprisingly soft hair, the other resting on the back of his neck, pulling him toward you.

Your lips immediately met his, as you kissed him hungrily. With even more fervor, Adam kissed back, his tongue slipping into your mouth. One of his hands found itself on your waist, the other was groping your ass.

Your mind was racing a hundred miles a minute, this was the stupidest thing you'd ever done, but you'd never felt more alive. It was dangerous, a little wrong even, but so right at the same time.

You pulled away for a second, only to breathlessly utter the word "bedroom".

Adam nodded, before resuming kissing you. Your bodies remained firmly pressed together as you stumbled down the hall and into your bedroom. The two of you removed your jackets and tshirts, tossing them god knows where. You honestly couldn't pinpoint the exact moment when your bodies became horizontal, it was such a blur, but somehow you ended up laying on the bed, Adam on top of you.

He had begun to kiss all over your neck, the sensation of his hot breath making your stomach flip. You let out a few moans as his hands explored your torso, feeling every inch of you. You couldn't see his face, but you knew he had that same shit eating grin as always.

You could feel how hard Adam was through his jeans, he grinded against you and you felt your hips involuntarily buck forwards, wanting more friction. Adam noticed this straight away.

"Someone's impatient" he chuckled, his voice smug as ever

"Shut up" you just about managed to get out between gasps.

"Let's pay a little more attention to your top half first, you can be a good girl and wait a little longer" he whispered as his hands found the clasp of your bra and made hasty work of it.

There was that nickname again, the one that made wetness pool in your panties, the one that made your nails dig into Adam's back as you pulled him closer.

Adam's soft lips gently brushed over your nipples, his tongue dancing across your flesh. He was surprisingly gentle, his delicate touches were just light enough to drive you wild, you desperately needed more.

"Adam..." You whined, hoping he would stop teasing you.

"God, y/n, you're such a greedy little thing, aren't you?" He grinned, "so desperate to be fucked"

He loved seeing you like this, having you right in the palm of his hand. Well aware that Adam was enjoying watching you squirm, a myriad of insults flew through your mind, and you would have called him every single one of them if you didn't want him inside you so badly.

Thankfully, Adam stopped waiting around, and removed your jeans and underwear all in one swift motion. He'd never admit it, but he was getting rather impatient too. His hands on your legs, holding them apart, he stopped for a second to admire your pussy. You were visibly dripping, and knowing that it was he who had done that to you gave Adam a real ego boost. That arrogant son of a bitch.

"So wet for me, y/n" he murmured, eyes glued to your womanhood, as his hands rubbed along the insides of your thighs, getting juuuust close enough to your pussy to make you hyper aware that nothing was touching it- and you needed that touch urgently.

"Stop talking and just fuck me, Stanheight!" You yelled, hoping your voice would sound demanding and assertive, but instead sounding desperate and weak.

"Hmmm" he hummed, as though he were deeply considering what you had just said.

Suddenly you finally felt some sort of touch between your thighs. Two of Adam's fingers ran along your slit, smearing your juices across your entrance, and up to your clit.

The gasp you let out as you threw your head back was partly in pleasure, partly in relief. When his fingers rubbed gently across your clit, your hips rolled, trying to press against his fingers for more friction, but as soon as his fingers were there, they were gone again.

Looking up to see why Adam had stopped, the sight that met you was both unexpected, and an absolute delight. It was Adam, his eyes shut and his beautiful, sharp features accentuated by the low light of your lamp. He was licking your fluids off his fingers.

You felt a brand new wetness begin to spill out of you at this, as you uttered a breathy "fuck, that's hot".

He winked cockily, as he admired the state you were in. Fully Nude, and spread open to show him how wet you were. Hard little nipples and a dazed, blushing face. He found your soft lips and open mouth particularly attractive. He would have loved to shove his cock deep in there until the Mascara ran from your eyes, he thought you'd look quite pretty all tear stained and used. But that was something he would wait for next time, it was too intense for a first time together, and quite frankly, at this point he was getting just as desperate to fuck as you were.

"You got any condoms?" He asked, standing up to unzip his jeans and yank them down with his boxers

"Top drawer" you pointed to your dresser, and sat up on your elbows to get a good look at Adam's naked body. His torso was pale and slim, at the bottom of his tummy a small trail of hairs was dusted across his flesh, leading down to some recently trimmed black hairs. His dick was a wonderful sight, a decent length and a girth that looked like it would stretch you delightfully. He had a pretty pink tip, which was glistening with precum. You made a mental note that at some point you would love to give him a real slow, sloppy blow job.

Adam positioned himself over you, and lined his cock up to your entrance, rubbing his tip up and down your folds.

"I'll be gentle to start off" he whispered, almost tenderly, as he planted a soft kiss at your jawline.

You nodded, signaling that you were ready for him to enter you.

He started off with just that pretty pink tip of his, carefully pushing it into your hole. He let out a low hum, while a gasp escaped your lips.

"More" you whined

"God, you're hot" Adam remarked, a low chuckle escaping his lips.

He eased himself in further, his girth slowly stretching you.

"Shit you're so tight" he muttered, more to himself than to you. "It doesn't hurt, does it?" Adam looked at you, there was a glint of something a little too intimate for hate-fucking in his eyes.

"No, it feels good" you nodded, feeling yourself adjust to his size.

Adam gently pushed the rest of himself inside you, until he was all the way in. After waiting for a few seconds, he began to thrust. He maintained a steady, fast pace. His face buried in your neck breathing you in, your bodies pressed tightly together.

"Oh god Adam" you cried out, loving every second of it. All that rage from earlier had transformed into an insatiable need to feel him all over you. Your hands roamed up and down his back, running through his hair and gripping onto his body, holding him close as your legs wrapped around him, letting him in deeper.

Adam lifted his head from the crook of your neck and abruptly stopped thrusting. He was looking down at you now, that cocky grin plastered over his face.

"Thought you were meant to hate me, hm?" He said.

"Who said I didn't" you uttered, breathlessly.

"Well if that's the case, then maybe I should stop"

Oh he was good.

"Don't you even think about it" you said urgently.

Adam's face could only be described as mischievous, as he pulled himself up and slowly began pulling his dick out of you. You let out a small whimper at the loss of the feeling of him filling you up.

"I wanna know how badly you want it" he smirked, absent mindedly rubbing his hand along your thigh.

He knew just how to drive you wild, his soft touches and playful teasing made your core feel like it was on fire.

"C'mon Adam, quit fucking around" you whined.

He shook his head

"Beg."

That bastard.

Never in your life would you ever have imagined needing something from Adam Stanheight so badly that you would be willing to beg for it, let alone this, but now it was actually happening, you were seriously considering it.

He rubbed his tip up and down your folds, teasing your entrance and making it nearly impossible to resist. You couldn't fight it, you needed him. You had to swallow your pride and do what he wanted.

With redness painting your cheeks, and all your pride out of the window, you uttered a small "please"

"Please what?" Adam smiled slyly.

"Please fuck me" You said, a little louder now.

"Throw my name in there and I'll consider it"

This was humiliating, this went against everything you stood for, there was no wa-

"Please Adam, please please fuck me"

"Well since you asked so nicely"

There was no build up before Adam plunged himself deep into you, and this time he went harder than before. The obscene sounds of slapping skin and moans filled the air. He held your legs open as he took in what he considered to be the most wonderful sight; your tits bouncing with each thrust, your hands clutching into the bedsheets, your mouth wide open to let out moans of his name. God how he loved the way you said his name.

"Fuck, y/n, why'd we wait so long to do this, huh?" He panted through thrusts

You wanted to respond with something sarcastic, but with Adam repeatedly hitting your sweet spot, there was no way you could form a sentence, or ever remember what words were for that matter. As you started to see stars, finally two words managed to make their way to the forefront of your mind, and you screamed them.

"I'm cumming, I'm cumming!"

"Shit... fuck, me too" Adam groaned, burying his cock deep inside you, before grinding his hips and releasing.

...

When Adam returned from cleaning himself up in the bathroom, he wore nothing but his boxers.

"I uhh.. I got you a glass of water" he said awkwardly, placing the drink on the bedside table.

"Thanks" you said shyly.

You weren't exactly sure what the protocol was for the aftermath of sleeping with your arch nemesis, were you supposed to go back to fighting? Were you meant to cuddle? You figured a good place to start was a cigarette. You fished around in your nightstand and pulled out a packet of smokes and a lighter. The ashtray was already resting on top.

"Want one?" You offered casually.

"You keep cigarettes in your bedside table?" Adam asked, raising an eyebrow. He took one from you and sat next to you on the bed.

"You're just jealous you didn't think of it first" you teased, affectionately this time.

Adam took a long drag before he spoke.

"So..."

"So..."

"You wanna cuddle or...?" He avoided eye contact, feeling foolish for even asking.

"Or what? Or do I still hate you?" You smiled

"Yeah, or do you still hate me?" He laughed.

You snuggled up to him and planted a small kiss on his cheek.

"I think you're the worst" you joked, resting your head on his shoulder and draping your arm across his chest.

"Hate you too, babe" he chuckled, kissing the top of your head.

[honeytama]

Look After You

Matt Dierkes x Plus Size!Fem!Reader

A/N: Matt shares an old tee with Reader in this, indulge me, and imagine that thing fits you amazingly!! Also, def don't listen to Look After You by the Fray after reading this, I'm crying.

Summary: After a guy cancels on a first date for the ?'th time, your friend, Matt, shows you’re worthy of honest love.

“Will you, won’t you, be the one I’ll always know?”

Content: Reader is plus size, friends to lovers, fluff, hurt/comfort, bed sharing/sharing clothes, first kiss

Word Count: 2.7k

Tag List: @exitwoundsx @areuirish @artificialbreezy @thisbicc @alloraiona

@xcllnt

Something happened. Can I come over? You anxiously send this text over to your friend Matt.

You wait for his response. The tears in your eyes blur his contact photo at the top of your screen; it’s an old selfie he sent you while on tour.

You wonder why it can't just be him. Why did you have to pursue other men? Especially when they treat you like this.

Your phone buzzes and a gray bubble appears.

Hey, of course. I just made dinner.

The keys in your hand jingle as you dash to your car to make your way to his house.

—

You fell into his chest once he opened the door to his home, and his arms held you as you stood there weeping against him. He usually was adverse about your habit of touching him, but tonight he indulged you, comforted you by holding you close and rubbing soothing circles on your back.

“Sorry, for getting tears on your shirt,” you had said while wiping the two wet spots on his shoulder.

He shrugged. “I’ve gotten over it already,” he gave you a sheepish smile. “Come eat some food and then we can talk about what's going on.”

For twenty minutes, you could feel his eyes stealing worried glances as you two ate in silence.

So, now that you’re both finished eating dinner, Matt checks in on you while taking your plate to do the dishes. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really,” you frown at him while he scrubs your plates at his sink. “But, that’s why I came over anyway, so I might as well share.”

“You don’t have to say anything,” he says reassuringly while drying his hands and turning to face you. Matt crosses his arms and leans against the counter. “We can watch a movie or listen to some music. Whatever you want to get your mind off of it.”

“No, I want to tell you,” you breathe out nervously. “I went on a date– or I was supposed to be on a date tonight with a guy I met online.”

“Oh,” he shakes his head in surprise and furrows his brow. “I didn't know you were dating,” he says softly.

“I thought it would be weird to tell you,” you play with your hands in your lap. “We don't really talk about dating…or sex, those kinds of things, with each other.”

“I know we don’t, but I hoped that you would share that you were trying to date,” he says before clearing his throat. “So, that I could vet him, I mean. Make sure he’s good enough for you.”

“Well, now I wish you had,” you look down at your feet and your bottom lip quivers.

Matt sees this and rushes over the the dining chair next to you. He pulls it out and sits so you two are facing each other. “Shit, what the hell did he do?”

You touch his knee to calm him, “Nothing serious. I swear.” You continue to explain your night after a deep breath.

“I’ve been talking to him for a few days. We planned out a whole dinner date and maybe going back to his place afterward if things went well, but when I sent him a picture of myself in my date outfit to show him I was excited he just… rejected me, right then,” your eyes begin to water as you’re reminded of the humiliation. “He canceled on me and made some stupid fucking excuse about how he was having car trouble.” 

“What the fuck?” Matt fumes.

“So, I asked him if I could just go over to his place to hang out and he said his apartment’s AC was broken—?” It’s then that your voice breaks into sobs and tears trickle down your cheeks. Embarrassment rolls over you in a wave that burns your skin.

“What an asshole,” he takes your phone in his hands from the dining table. “Did that fucker ever share his address with you? I’ll pay him a visit for—.”

“Please, no,” you reach to grab your phone. “I just want you here with me.”

“He deserves to pay for treating you like that! Why the fuck would he just cancel on you?” Matt asks angrily. 

“Matt, I—,” you stammer through your sobs and avoid his eyes. “I don’t think he knew what my… full body looked like, even with the pictures in my profile.”

“Motherfucker,” he lowers his voice so as not to startle you. Sure, he’s enraged at the situation, but you’re breaking down in front of him and he doesn't want his anger to exacerbate it.

“This isn’t the only time this has happened, either” you hang your head in shame. “It’s either they cancel on dates because of my body, or act the complete opposite and use me for my body just to ghost me,” you reveal to him.

While this made him want to put his hands around someone's throat until they saw red, he gently held your hands through it and nodded sweetly while listening to you stammer and tear up at the past. “You can tell me everything. Lay it on me,” he encouraged.

After an hour of talking to him about the hell other men have put you through, you sniffle while checking your phone and notice it’s nearing his and his dogs’ usual bedtime. “Thank you for letting me come over to talk to you. I’m going to head home; I don’t want to keep you from going to sleep,” you start to gather your things, but Matt puts a hand on your knee.

“Y/N, of course, but I don’t feel comfortable with you going home alone like this. Why don't you stay with me tonight?” He suggests softly.

“Matt, It’s okay. I’m okay. I’ll go home,” you say with a shrug. It’s then you notice how heavy your shoulders feel.

“Please. You can stay in the guest bedroom. You can even borrow some of my clothes to change into,” he smiles.

You giggle and wipe your tears with the back of your hand. “I don’t think I’ll fit into your clothes.”

“One sleep shirt I have doesn’t fit on me. Try it and if it doesn’t work, then I’ll drive over to your place myself to get you pajamas,” he assures.

A tingle creeps up your neck imagining him doing something so thoughtful. Matt usually makes gestures to show he cares, but it’s usually in the form of his words or fists being thrown. Why did he care so much about you? Sure, he wasn't an angel, but there’s a soft spot that only you manage to access when you're around him. You almost hoped he would be a massive jerk to you; it would help you eliminate the feelings you had for him and make your heart feel less tangled.

You nod at his proposition and follow him to his bedroom. He pulls his drawers open and closed rummaging through his things until finding an old, white Underoath merch tee. He holds it out to you, “Go get changed, let me know how it fits.”

You take the shirt and leave his bedroom. Just down the hall from him, you enter his well-decorated guest room and lock the door. Pulling off your clothes, you put on Matt’s old shirt and look into the full-length mirror leaning against the wall. 

Like a dream, it fits perfectly. It’s so soft, and the front of the shirt ends comfortably at your upper thighs.

However, you didn't have any bottoms so you would sleep with bare legs tonight. 

The carpet in the hallway carries your feet back to Matt’s bedroom. Through the crack in the door, he tucks Boo and Zeus into their beds on the floor. The soft glow of his bedside lamp light bathes his physique. You didn’t expect him to be down to his boxers already.

It was the first time you had ever seen him like this. His collar bones, chest, abdomen, thighs, everything that’s ever been covered by him just out, nonchalantly.

“Matt,” you push the door open slightly, hiding your bottom half. “It fits.”

He turns to you and smiles, “I’m glad. Go try to get some rest,” he tells you caringly. “Goodnight, Y/N.”

“Goodnight, Matt,” you reply and give a small wave to the dogs. “Night night, puppies.”

—

Matt said to try to get some rest and that’s what you were doing. It just isn’t working.

Without checking your phone, forty minutes have passed of you tossing and turning in his guest bed. It was comfortable, but you couldn’t settle your mind enough to fall asleep.

Fuck it.

You slip out of bed and quietly creep back down the hallway to his room. With a soft knock on his door, you bounce on the balls of your feet impatient for him to open it.

The door is pulled open and Matt stands there in his underwear in front of you. “Y/N, you okay?” He squints at you and rubs his eyes in the darkness while only moonlight slips through the cracks of his blinds to illuminate you.

“I’m sorry if I woke you…I couldn’t sleep,” you offered shyly while fidgeting with the hem of his tee shirt on your thighs. 

“Mmm,” he nods. “Come get in my bed.” 

You tiptoe past his dogs sleeping soundly over to the opposite side of the bed from him. Timidly climbing into his sheets, he invites you to lay down by pulling his comforter over your waist and fluffing his unused pillows. 

“Get comfortable,” he whispers as he climbs in after you.

“Thank you,” you whisper back.

Matt and you face each other in the dark while sharing his comforter. Heat radiates off of him and you want so badly to reach out and pull him closer to feel it directly from the source. 

“Do you need to talk some more?” He asks softly.

“I think I just need you near me. I should fall asleep soon,” you whisper hesitantly.

“Come closer,” Matt switches to lie on his back and he offers out his arm for you to climb into his space. You slide over and lay your head on his chest as his arm hooks around you. He allows his fingers to rub figure eights along your spine. “You can wrap your leg around me,” he says into your hair. “I don't mind.”

You carefully wrap your leg over his body, avoiding his pelvis, and like a puzzle, your bodies fit perfectly together as one. Your hand finds its way to his naked stomach and his breath hitches as you return the favor to draw circles above his navel.

Silence enveloped the room as you two lie together, but it's broken when you bite your lip and ask, “Why are you being so sweet to me?” 

He chuckles and it makes your head raise with his chest, “I’m always nice to you. What are you saying?”

“If you being a little bully to me is you being nice, then yes, you’re a saint,” you giggle. “You just— never let me touch you like this or let me wear your clothes.”

“You needed it tonight,” he murmurs above you. “I’m here to give you what you need, that’s all.”

You think about his words and agree, He’s what I need.

“I was mostly awake, by the way,” he says softly.

“When I knocked?” You ask.

“Yeah, I was thinking about those guys you told me about,” he stops the figure eights on your back.

“Matt,” you warn.

“I know, I know,” he huffs. “I’m not going to search for their addresses online. I swear.”

“Good,” you pat his stomach.

“I just think you deserve someone who knows you're worthy of love— someone who loves your mind… your body,” he confides.

“It would help me out if you knew someone that thought like that, Matty,” you chuckle and look up at him.

“I do,” he says softly. His eyes dart over the features of your face searching for any slight reaction to his words. “I mean, me, I do.”

“What?” You laugh in disbelief.

“I think you're pretty, gorgeous, hot, sexy, whatever word you like best,” he talks with fervor as his eyes bore into yours. “I would most definitely take you on the best first date of your life. Just like tonight, I would set the table and make you dinner. Also, you wouldn’t be crying,” he boasts and it starts to make you giggle. “You could wear whatever you wanted. We would watch movies on my couch afterward, or I could teach you how to play my drums. It would be perfect, and there wouldn't be any stupid excuses made by me because I’m not one of those fucking loser ass dudes you meet on Tinder or wherever.”

“Calm down. Your heart is beating really fast,” you whisper and he looks down at your hand on his chest.

“I know and I don’t care,” he huffs. “I would rather have a stroke trying to let you know how well I would treat you than for you to ever have to return to trying other guys. Why can’t it just be me and you?”

“I didn’t know you felt that way,” you say softly.

“Also,” he continues his rant, “how can they not enjoy a picture of you looking fine as fuck in your first date outfits? I’ve never seen them, but I see you every other time and I want to take screenshots of you with my damn eyes. Matter of fact, there’s this one top you wear that makes your tits look—”

“Matt, stop talking,” you put a hand over his mouth. 

“What?” His voice is muffled under your palm. It’s then he notices that you’ve maneuvered yourself to straddle him. As you lean over him, your face is a mere foot away from his.

Removing your hand from his mouth you ask, “You like me, huh?”

“Yeah, and?” He scoffs, the slightest smile creeping over his lips.

“I like you, too,” you admit.

“Oh,” he furrows his brow. “That’s cool, now get off of me.” You both laugh as he pushes your body back onto your side of the bed. After a fit of laughter and fighting him, he finds himself pinning both of your hands with his on either side of your head. Your stomach flutters as his face is so close to yours now; all of him is so close. “You need to go to sleep.”

“Well, now I can't,” you tilt your head and squint at him in the dark. “There’s something I need to say first.”

“What is tha—?”

You sneak a kiss to the corner of his lips. “Thank you for saying those mushy things about me. If I knew you felt that way, then there’s no way I would let another man believe they deserved my time and patience. I just want it to be you, too.”

“Just you and me? Sounds nice,” Matt smiles before his face turns pensive. “You missed my mouth by the way. Kiss me better this time,” he rolls his eyes while dipping to your lips beneath him.

You closed her eyes as your lips met in a hesitant first kiss.

It was soft. Yet, it sparked a fire within you; a delicious warmth flowering in your chest. Matt’s hands squeeze yours harder, but you gather the strength to escape one of his hands and instinctively reach up into his hair, your fingers tangling in the soft wavy strands.

The kiss deepened and your playful banter was forgotten, replaced by the sound of his lips moving against yours and his tongue sneaking gauging licks a your bottom lip. When you finally break apart, breathless and flushed, a comfortable silence settles between you as you share knowing grins.

The sheets rustle as Matt gets out of bed and walks over to the upholstered accent chair in the corner of his bedroom. “Where are you going? Get back in bed and keep kissing me,” you whine when the heat of his body has left you.

“I’ll be over here,” he sits lazily, his legs spread apart. “No one can hurt you while I’m looking after you.”

“You need sleep, too,” you pat his side of the bed.

“Don’t worry about me. Now, get some rest,” he nods at your pillow to lay down.

He softly chuckles when you huff, throw yourself down and toss his comforter over your body. “Ugh, goodnight, Matt.”

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

[bettyfrommars]

I'm on Fire

Chapter 1: Black No. 1

biker!Eddie Munson x fem!artist!Reader

Part 1

Series Masterlist

🚨18+ Only, older!Eddie, tow truck driver Eddie, biker!Eddie, alcohol consumption, sex with someone other than reader, cheating (not on reader), slightly fuckboy!eddie, adult themes. Y/N is used several times in the first few chapters, as well as plenty of typos and I apologize for that. This was my very first reader insert series ever, and it's insane how much the characters and story have grown. I really appreciate those who have been on this journey with me, and those who continue to want to read it!

Word count: 3.3k

There is an instant spark of chemistry between you and the guy who rescues you from the side of the freeway in his tow truck, courtesy of Munson's Garage. While you've never met him before, your roommate has, and you learn a few things about Eddie Munson while he indulges in one of his late-night extracurricular activities, which is just one facet of the dark secrets in his life.

This wasn’t supposed to happen. You weren’t supposed to have a crush on your tow truck driver.

One second, you’re cruising along the freeway, blasting Linger by The Cranberries, looking forward to the future, and the next---your tire blows and you’re on the side of the road questioning when you will ever catch a break. You were trying to remember how far back the last payphone was as traffic sped by, blowing your hair into your face, when a big, mean looking, black tow truck with Munson’s Garage written on the door slowed down and pulled in front of you.

The guy behind the wheel waited for a few cars to buzz by before he dropped down from the cab, boots hitting the pavement, and made his way over to you. He’s wearing his long, dark hair tied back in a ponytail, black jeans with a wallet chain hanging at his thigh, and a button down blue work shirt that says Eddie on it. He’s muscular in a manual labor way, and you spot a few tattoos at first glance, just as he closes the distance between you.

“Come here often?” He asked, the side of his mouth lifting up as he squinted against the sun.

You hesitated, because you weren’t prepared for jokes, and then you shrug. “Yeah, I live here. It’s cozy, shame it’s so close to the freeway.”

He takes a pair of gloves out of his back pocket and you notice his warm, brown sugar eyes take a quick sweep up and down your body. “In that case, I might have to visit more often.”

You also weren’t ready for the teasing, sexual banter, but you could give as well as you got. “Careful. I bite.”

Of course, you don’t have a spare tire, and so the next option is for him to tow you back to his garage. He tells you to get comfortable in the cab of the truck while he hooks your car on.

Inside, you notice that it’s an older cab, but it’s clean and well taken care off. There’s an Iron Maiden sticker on the glove compartment, and a vanilla tree-shaped air freshener hanging from the CB radio. You scoot over, curious as a kitten, to see what other little pieces of his life you can pick up from the area, when you see photo of a little kid, maybe 2 years old, taped to the top of his dash. The toddler had thick dark hair and big, dark eyes, and you realize he must be a dad—the kid looked just like him. You remembered looking at his strong hands before he put his gloves on, and you didn’t see any rings, but most people in his profession chose not to wear them when they worked, as a safety precaution.

He climbed up into the cab behind the steering wheel and took his gloves off, stuffing them in the console between you, apologizing for how long it took. In your mind, he’d only been out there five minutes, but—time flies when you’re being a snoop.

The radio blared loud the second he turned the engine on (Would? by Alice in Chains) and you jumped in your seat, a yelp escaping your throat.

He cringed and turned the volume down. “My bad,” he laughed a little, giving you a wink when you look over at him, your palm flat on your chest, adrenaline coursing through you.

His shop was almost a half hour away, and the conversation stayed light. He asked you what you did for work, and when you told him that you were on staff at a gallery, but you wished you could be a full time artist—he was one of the few people in your whole life who didn’t make fun of you for it.

“You have no idea how much I relate to that,” he said, almost under his breath, shifting the truck into another gear.

You asked him how long he’d been in the area and he replied, “too long.”

He got quiet for a few minutes, and you shifted your eyes covertly to catch his jaw muscles flexing, like he was deep in thought about something he didn’t want to be thinking about.

You adjusted yourself on the vinyl seat with a creak of the upholstery. “So, did you grow up here?”

He opened his mouth for a beat, and then closed it again, as if he didn’t like the answer he was about to give. “I grew up all over the place. But I went to high school here, and then I left, and then I came back.”

You pulled your bottom lip over your top lip, looking out the window at a sea of fat cows grazing in a big, grassy field.

“I’m sure there are worse places to be,” you said aloud, although you meant for it to be a silent thought.

He scoffed. “You must be new here. Give it time.”

He had his hand high on the wheel, and he looked sideways over his arm at you. You could tell he wanted to ask you more, and you wanted to ask the name of the cute kid in the photo on his dash—but it suddenly felt like it was all getting too personal.

There was sudden static on the CB radio and the voice of an older man came through the speaker. “Munson, what’s your 20?”

Eddie reached over to take the handheld receiver off the hook under the glove compartment, the back of his hand brushing your knee as he did so.

He pushed the button on the side as he held it to his mouth. “On I-90, just passed Little River, on my way back.”

He let go of the button so that the other man could speak.

“Charlene dropped the Jaguar off again. Not a damn thing wrong with it, but she asked for you, specifically.”

Eddie swallowed, his eyes shifting to you, as if he was embarrassed or self-conscious about the conversation.

“...I told her I’d bring it by on my way home after work.”

The other end was silent for a bit and then, the older man gave a heavy sigh. “Son, I hope you’re not doing what I think you’re--”

“Talk to you when I get there, Wayne. I’ve got a customer in the cab with me,” and then Eddie hung up the receiver and switched the radio off with a click.

Back at Munson’s Garage you called your best friend, Katie, who you were supposed to meet for lunch, to talk her down from the ledge she was on, panicking over where you were.

“At first, I wanted to murder you, and then--” As Katie is talking, you see Eddie give you a thumbs up from across the garage to let you know the tire was on and your car was ready, and you mirrored the gesture. “...and then I was like, wait, maybe she’s in a ditch somewhere….and you were!”

Like any self-respecting, horny friend would, she asked if the tow truck driver that picked you up was hot while on the phone with you.

You’re watching Eddie pick up two tires and fling them onto a pile like they weighed nothing, muscles flexing in his forearms and hands; he catches you staring and smiles almost accidentally at you over his shoulder, before turning away. “Not really, I mean, if you like that sort of thing, I guess.”

There was a teenage boy at the front desk who looked like he was in training, and with shaking hands, he tallied you up for the price of the tow and the tire.

“Just the tire,” Eddie came up behind him, wiping his fingers on a rag. “The tow is on the house,” he lifts his eyes to you, and then looks down to make sure the kid got it right.

You thanked him, and as you were leaving, you saw the long, sleek, white Jaguar convertible with leather seats parked at the far end of the garage. You wondered who Charlene was, and why she chose that particular garage over all of the other high end, specialty repair shops in the area.

---------

That night, you were snuggled in front of a Golden Girls episode, dissociating in your bathrobe on the couch with your orange, long haired tabby cat named Charlie, when Katie, who was also your roommate, got home after a meeting at the high school where she taught English and creative writing.

“I didn’t get into an accident,” you assured her, turning the sound down on the TV. “I just blew a tire. I’ll still be able to make it to work tomorrow, unfortunately.”

The next night was a huge artist opening at the gallery, and all of the mucky mucks usually attended to buy high priced art and drink free champagne.

“Hey,” you went to the kitchen to squirt some of your cheap, refrigerated box wine into some glasses and brought one over to Katie. “You’ve lived here longer than I have. Do you know a woman named Charlene who drives a super fancy white, Jaguar convertible?”

“Charlene Gregson? The ex-supermodel, the wife of millionaire CEO John Gregson, the ones who just happen to have a summer home near here on the lake?”

You put your wine glass to your lips. “Sure, I mean, I guess. Does she drive a white Jaguar?”

Katie curled up at the other end of the couch and wrapped a blanket over her. “They have a ten car garage at their mansion, so I’m sure she has one in every color.”

“Wait, how do you know this?” You put your elbow on the top of the couch to rest your hand on your fist, squinting at your roommate.

Katie took a big gulp of her wine. “My sister, the one who runs her own carpet cleaning business, she’s been out there. They have these antique rugs that need to be cleaned a certain way.”

“So, she’s married?” You asked, feeling like you’re asking the same question over and over without actually asking it.

Katie shrugs. “As far as I know they still are. I mean, what happened? Did you run into her or something?”

You didn’t feel like retelling the entire debacle, so you trimmed it down a bunch. “I saw that car at the garage when I got my tire fixed, and someone mentioned that it belonged to her.”

Katie gave you a curious look.

You turned and noticed the way she was staring at you. “What?” You laughed as you asked it, turning your gaze back to the TV.

“So,” Katie said, her eyebrow raised. “Forget about Charlene. Tell me more about this tow truck guy. Is he single? Is he tall? Does he have sexy hands?”

You rolled your head to rest it on the back of the sofa. “Do you know a guy named Eddie?”

Katie ran her tongue over her teeth, thinking.

“He drives a tow truck? Works at Munson’s Garage?”

An invisible light bulb seemed to blink on above Katie’s head. “Eddie...Eddie Munson?”

The way she asked it gave you pause; your eyes shifted, and then you shrugged, “I didn’t ask for his last name, but I guess so.”

Katie tilted her head back, eyes wide. “Holy shit, I haven’t seen him around in a minute. He used to sell weed back in the day. I bought some from him a few times when I first moved here after college. But he left town for a year or two, I didn’t know he was back.”

You squished air around in your mouth, puffing your cheeks out as you listened to her. “Well, he’s back. He put a new tire on my car and he didn’t even break a sweat.”

“I remember him being...really hot, in like, a metalhead way,” Katie sipped her wine again. “Does he still have the long hair?”

You nodded, staring at the TV vacantly, picturing him in your mind as clearly as if he were right in front of you. You asked Katie if Eddie had a kid, and she had no idea. “The last time we smoked at his trailer, he was single with no kids, but that was—oh shit---a good 6 years ago.”

The next revelation made Katie jump as she remembered it: “Oh! He was in a band, too. The name had something to do with rust or decay, I never saw him play though, Dan and the rest of his D&D nerd friends worshiped him.” Dan was Katie’s younger brother by two years, and he asked you on a date a while back, but you turned him down, respectfully, being that you didn’t want it to mess with your friendship with Katie.

“That’s his garage, he runs it with his uncle.” Katie corrected your earlier statement. “There’s a rumor that it’s also a clubhouse for the Coffin Kings motorcycle gang, but who knows. In a town like this, there are a lot of rumors.”

You thought about his visible tattoos, including the cluster of bats near his elbow, some kind of monsterous puppet thing on his inner forearm, and there was something spelled out across his fingers, but you couldn’t read what it said.

There is an interlude in your conversation with nothing but canned laughter from the sitcom on TV, and then Katie changes the subject, recalling a dramatic story having to do with one of her colleagues that happened earlier that day.

-------

Eddie waited until everyone was gone before he closed up the garage, noticing that the new kid forgot to sweep the lobby, so he did it himself, mumbling about how it was hard to find good help these days. He had the Jaguar already loaded on the truck, but he needed to wait until after 8 to drop it off at her place.

Charlene was pulling his shirt up and undoing his belt, her mouth on his throat, as soon as she locked the front door behind him. He grabbed onto her wrists and held her in place, forcing her to back up as he walked forward.

There were several Magnum wrappers on the floor by the time he left her there after their final fuck in the shower. He picked up the evidence of their affair and took the wrappers with him, thinking that he couldn’t remember the last time he was with someone he cared about and trusted enough to not use some kind of protection. That same dark voice in his head told him that he’d never get that close to anyone ever again. “Get used to it, buddy. You’ll be alone forever,” the voice snickered.

------

Mrs. John Waterberry, who lived in the house across from Charlene Gregson, grabbed her 78 yr old husband by the arm just as they were getting ready for bed. She could see the tow truck pull up into Charlene’s driveway from their bedroom window.

“That’s five times in two months, John,” Mrs. Waterberry scampered for the binoculars in the desk drawer, putting them to her eyes and pointing them at the house. “Who on earth needs to have their brand new car towed that often?”

John Waterberry fussed to put his glasses back on and watched the big, black truck lower the delicate, expensive Jaguar to the ground with care. “I don’t give a damn, Louisa, let’s go to bed.”

Behind her, John got into bed and turned the lamp by the bed off, but Mrs. Waterberry hid behind the curtain and watched as the strange tattooed boy with the long hair went over and knocked at the front door. When Charlene answered, she was in her a skimpy bathrobe!

“John!” Mrs. Waterberry called to her husband. “She invited him inside again! I told you! Her husband away on a golfing trip and now this.”

“It’s none of our business, Louisa,” John mumbled, turning over on his side, facing away from her.

Mrs. Waterford ended up falling asleep, but her eyes snapped open when she heard the low grumble of the tow truck starting up again. She looked at the digital alarm clock on the nightstand: it was almost 1:00 in the morning.

------

Eddie popped a cigarette into his mouth and rolled the window down, turning his music up in the cab of the tow truck as soon as he was out of the gated lake community. (Black No. 1 – Type O Negative)

"I went looking for trouble, and boy, I found her,

she's in love with herself

she likes the dark

and on her milk white neck

the Devil's mark..."

He should’ve been feeling good, but the frown on his face was giving him a headache, his body telling his mind there was something wrong. He happened to catch a flicker out of the corner of his eye and turned to see a shiny sliver of something on the floorboard of his truck. He made sure there were no cars around and bent down to stretch his hand out and swoop it up. It was an earring; a little silver hoop, and he realized, with sigh, that it must’ve belonged to the woman he had in his truck earlier that day. The one who worked at an art gallery and didn’t have a spare tire in her car. The one with cute, quirky mannerisms and the beautiful eyes.

He sped up and shifted into the next gear, cigarette between his lips, and slipped the earring into his front pocket.

Finally back at the garage, Eddie parked the truck and opened the side door to get his bike. After a wide straddle and a few kicks of his foot, the Harley started up with a growl, loud pipes spitting, his hand with the metal rings twisting on the high handlebar. He had a gig with his band the next evening, but not until after he escorted Charlene to her function and pretended to be her body guard. The whole town had to know they were fucking; he had a hard time believing they were all so morbidly clueless.

While he shot down the highway on his chopper with the wind in his face, he reached over to feel for the outline of your earring in his pocket, and realized with a tiny flutter in his gut, that he had a valid excuse to look you up and see you again.

Part 2

[redphlox]

No matter how bnha ends, I'm grateful that I became invested because it brought me joy, and it gifted me the euphoric experience of getting to know one of my favorite characters ever: Touya Todoroki, Dabi. I will always love him, and he will always have a special place in my heart. Nothing can change that or take that away from me. Shouto, too. The soba brothers are eternal to me.

It's so typical of me to be drawn to the mysterious, cold, brooding characters, haha. Shouto and Dabi immediately captured my attention when I first watched/read bnha with @fox-conscious. I took a break from following the series for a few years until November 2020, when I casually logged into Tumblr after months of not checking and saw chapter 290 Dabi's Dance leaks. It must have been fate. Suddenly, I was fully immersed in the manga again, excited that the obvious familial connection between my two favorites was officially confirmed. This reveal reignited my excitement and gave me something to focus on and look forward to during a challenging first semester in grad school, when I was on the cusp of realizing I needed professional help for my eating disorder.

To deal with the stress and have fun, I turned to reading and writing meta, and trying to make friends to share the experience with. That's the most important thing that has come from following this series... I've met so many incredible people who mean a lot to me:

@haleigh-sloth has become a really dear and close friend of mine. We met because of this manga and bonded over crepes, breakfast foods, pasta or ramen dinners, shopping at the mall, swimming in the river, walking her dogs, sleepovers, traveling, and road trips because of our shared love of the characters and story. We are basically the same person and constantly say the same things at the same time. Through the ups and downs of school, work, moving, and even now, we've always had each other's backs and shared countless moments of laughter and ugly cackling because we can't take shit seriously, ever. She's one of my best friends for life and I can't imagine NOT having her around!

@todomitoukei was one of the first friends I made in this fandom. I can always count on her to make the funniest jokes I've ever heard, especially during a completely serious conversation, and I'm astounded how smart, quick-witted, and talented she is. Truly an inspiration. I always look forward to seeing notifications that she messaged me because she brightens my day <3

I've had the great pleasure of meeting and hugging @hamliet TWICE! She has a generous heart and an inviting, calm aura. Her kindness and intelligence are remarkable. I genuinely enjoy discussing all sorts of topics with her, both silly and serious: life, hopes and dreams, fears and daily struggles, funny memes, reading and writing. I also love seeing her pet photos and can't wait to meet them in the future.

@transhawks is truly my most insane friend, and I say that lovingly and in the most ironic way because he's level-headed, creative, articulate, and self-aware. I'm always learning from him. I can talk to him for hours and never run out of things to say, and I always look forward to his insightful commentary about anything and everything.

And of course, I'm grateful for all the discord shenanigans with my friends: watching the anime together, voice calls, memes, sharing ideas, etc. @chocolate-biscuit who always pops into the chat with funny one-liners that leave me cackling for days when they flash in my head randomly, @bootlickerhawks who is the bestest horse person ever and I get excited to see on my dash, @helga-grinduil who is the saltiest and funniest person on this hellsite and also happens to make the best bnhaedits in this entire fandom, @jecook who is one of the sweetest people I've ever met and can't wait to read fix-it fics from, @mettywiththenotes who sends cute dog pictures and makes the most hilarious memes. Together we are all unhinged, and I love it. Despite living in different time zones, different counties, we've all create a fun space to cohabitate, and I think that's really cool and beautiful.

Hmm. Looks like the real treasure was the friends I made along the way, and the shared trauma of having our favorite characters mishandled by their creator was worth it. Can't wait to keep writing fics, making memes, and making new friends like @shortstrawberryshake because of this manga. And, I can't wait to keep loving Touya and Shouto Todoroki, of course <3

[sheepheadfred]

Ectoberhaunt Day 9: Fall

Summary: Right on the heels of that ghost pirate ship raid and subsequent rescue of their parents, school feels off with some pretty notable people treating him quite differently. Though the only person who hasn't yet caught on is the object of all their affections and attention, Danny Fenton.

direct continuation of [day 8]

(5 times someone started acting weirdly/caught feelings +1 time they all came together and Danny realizes what's been going on)

AO3 link

Dash:

Fenton was actually kind of cool last night! What is this world coming to?

But also humble? He wouldn't accept any compliment and while Dash gets it, but c'mon! He got all of them to fight a ghost pirate crew and soloed the captain. That has to mean something to him!

...

Right?

Fuck! Now Fenton has him concerned. Made such an impression it kind of feels wrong to use his usual demeaning nicknames for him, too.

He can't get it out of his head. That Fenton taking his aggression out on that ghost was a little hot. He's not supposed to feel like this! He's probably just concerned it will be turned on him next!

Yeah, that must be it!

Fenton is so scrawny, of course he'd be worried! He's able to do all of that while still being such a stick of a person. It also feels wrong, though, with how badly he takes care of himself. He's badass but too skinny. Dash wonders if it's because of whatever freaky stuff goes on at that house with his freaky parents. His sister never seemed to have that issue, after all! But he really doesn't know anything about their home lives to know for sure.

Besides his sister was the total package with beauty and brains so, why is he more drawn to the wimp? That's not how it's supposed to go!

Is he really a wimp if he's just hiding what he can do and chooses not to use it?

Maybe if he got him healthier this feeling would go away? Worth a shot at least. He can last in a fight working on adrenaline but what about day to day? No wonder he hates gym!

At school, though, old habits threatened to resurface even as they felt wrong.

Slamming his hand right next to Fenton's head to block him in, he belatedly realized their positions looked a lot like that 'kabedone' (?) pose Paulina fantasizes about. Mainly with Phantom. He just stands there as his brain resets, face on fire, as Fenton just looked at him. A face journey going from surprised to fearful to annoyed and now to worry and concern.

"Uh, Dash? If this is supposed to be a 'congratulatory' beating or something to get back into the swing of things, can you get it over with before class? ... Ooor not? I get last night was wild but, like, maybe you need the nurse? I'm just... gonna... gooooo then?" the nerd rambled before he could fully process any of his words and then bailed when he didn't answer fast enough.

Lame

His concerned gaze and strained smile as Dash stood there caught him off guard.

Of course the loser with freaky parents acted like that. He must be making fun of me! No other reason he's making me feel like this! Gotta be a trick!

Trying to logic it out to himself or not, it's hard to deny that he shouldn't be concerned over him with how Dash has treated him. His undeserved kindness continues to shine though only now he can see it for what it is no matter how hard he tries to reason it to be something else. Something more acceptable to the people around him. Despite the hope starting to burn in him.

In class, he tosses a protein shake at Fenton's head and unsurprisingly, at least now anyway, he caught it.

"Fenton, if you do those crazy stunts all the time you might as well bulk up!"

Confused but seemingly thankful, he just nods before turning to the front as the teacher walked in. Both electing to ignore what happened earlier.

HA! He took it! My job is done.

If only he could convince his heart of that.

Is this how he's always felt or is it just starting? Did he start because the grown ups deemed it ok and never stopped him? Or was it just pressure from home? Or all of it? He's afraid to know the answer.

Paulina:

Dash has been acting weird. And not the fun kind of weird. First, he kabedon'ed Fenton and then he offered one of his protein shakes? Not just the generic kind, the good stuff he usually keeps to himself, too!

She decides to interrogate him during lunch with the rest of their group of friends. Still, she can sort of understand why even if her heart belongs to Phantom.

Even if Fenton did have a charm to his dorky side and can be attentive and kind. And brave.

He never shows that last quality most of the time anyway.

Didn't he not want credit out of fear of being forced to only have that life?

Like most boys in this school, he is clearly into her but as time went on he didn't let it control him.

So he has better self control than a lot of their peers, so what?

Nevermind that 'loser', her friend is off and it's time to get him to talk. Or at least distract him if he's not ready. It's usually the latter knowing him and the pressure he puts on himself.

On top of it being school hours.

"I can't get it out of my head," Dash confessed to her, "But, like, why do I find Fenton hot?"

She knows Fenton's friends act as his guard dogs sometimes for one reason or another. And Manson would sooner wear pink than let it happen for either of them.

All she could do was pat his arm as she turned away, not wanting to admit she feels the same.

Valerie:

Damn!

That bullshit from last night still pisses her off!

First that earbleedingly bad music gets blasted everywhere. Then, and then! It turns out to be an evil plan by the no good ghosts and not just some cruise! Phantom didn't even show like the fake he is! And, while she knows this is not the worst part is feels the most humiliating, a good chunk of their grade level invaded Fentonworks for a party without inviting Fenton or her. Her, she can understand, but he lives there. That's just cruel!

And yet, he still somehow got them to listen to his plan.

She is admittedly still impressed.

It was fun to fight with him. He even gave her a name to go by! She never cared about a vigilante name of her own before but it feels special.

Helps that he's cute, too.

Goth girl refuses to make a move and Valerie might if she doesn't.

Dash and Paulina, too, now if how they've been acting is anything to go by. They did use to be her friends, so she still remembers their tells and hints.

And saw the 'Kabedon Incedent'. If he hasn't been such a bully she'd feel worse for him.

Even the rest of the week, they have been falling all over themselves in their own ways over him. At least Danny will willingly talk to her and they are kind of friends even when his friends don't approve. She hopes that they can all be friends one day, despite how hostile they can be.

"Hey, Danny. Anything crazy happen recently?"

"Nah, just the crazy amount of homework."

"Mr. Lancer didn't assign much this week?"

"I have late assignments and keep having to redo them. Mostly from my parents inventions making a mess everywhere. Not to mention running from ghost attacks, my bag gets singed at times just for being my bag."

"Oof, I see what you mean there!"

The two share a laugh before splitting up.

He's always been fun to talk to. At least after I started giving him a chance. Was I just too stuck up and angry to see this side of him, before?

Sam:

Sam was feeling pretty good about herself!

Bringing back quality music to this town and kicking some ghost butt using those dumb records as scratching boards.

Seeing Danny in the lead like that, getting even the likes of Dash to listen, was really cool.

The fact that even Valerie showed up was very unexpected. But you know how it goes, plans never go unscathed upon contact with the enemy and all. Probably for the best, anyway, that Danny didn't bring out Phantom if she was already on her way.

At least they seem to be starting to see how cool he truly is.

Sam did not like that Danny hung out with Valerie given she tries to kill him when he's Phantom. And yes, that is the only reason!

Stop asking!

Doesn't help that 'pretty in pink' and 'Mr. Angry Issues' keep trying to butt in. She was busy being the ammo in the skies disrupting their broadcast! All she knows is that Danny went feral on Youngblood's ass and now the two seem to be tripping all over themselves around him. Being 'nice' like they actually care. She'll believe they've changed for the better when she sees it. Because right now it seems like they're only doing this to flirt with him! And just!

She's not possessive, she just doesn't want her friend to get hurt is all!

At least that is all she will let herself believe.

Stop denying you want him to look at you like that...

Tucker:

That was awesome!

They got to fight and even win against those pirate ghosts as just kids with Fenton gear!

Too bad Danny couldn't be Phantom at all, though. That was the main reason he had to deactivate the ghost shield. They made it work without Phantom anyway.

Valerie showing up was the least expected thing, though. He thought she had a night off or something? There were so many adults he's not sure if her dad was there in the crowd.

Guess ghost hunting means no time off after all. Kind of like us. Except she wants to get rid of my best friend permanently and doesn't even know it. My guy is a bit too forgiving sometimes.

His best bro has been getting so confused that everyone is nicer to him since the raid they did on the pirate ship. Like his bravery or badassery leading and fighting with them wasn't amazing! Like his feralness to switch to kindness and jokes right after wasn't charming or endearing.

Like its that hard to believe people like him more now that they see more of what he can do and who he is besides the son of the town loons who just so happened to be right about this one thing.

His plan didn't end in public destruction or excess harm. Unlike when his parents go after a ghost or when a ghost tosses him around and he gets blamed for it!

He can be very mad on his bro's behalf because Danny won't be. He's always simmering under the surface for the injustice his friend deals with. Tucker knows Sam is, too. She's just louder about it while he tends to silently judge more often than not.

But he can see why some of them have started to catch feelings for him, even if most are in denial about it. Sam included. Like the queen of denial, holy shit!

As always its up to the best friend to get everyone on the same page.

After all, he has always liked his best friend even if its slowly became platonic but romantic love for him, too. He just wants his bro happy and he's the only one who can see Danny can be with all of them, platonic or romantic. Now he just needs to get through to everyone else, too.

Here's to hoping I survive this intervention.

(+1) Danny:

Man, Danny feels so much better after taking his aggression on Youngblood and those other pirates! Too bad Ember got away, but hopefully that means she wont show back up again for a while.

He just hopes people won't treat him too differently.

Don't get him wrong. He's grateful they helped keep it a secret with how fast they all hid the evidence, but he knows that's partially to save their own skins from their parents and gain his parents' attention.

Getting to fight by Valerie's, or he supposed now it'd be 'Red's, side without even a hint of her trying to shoot him was even better than getting to be Phantom. Though, he only couldn't be Phantom because she showed up.

Good thing, too. Had it been anyone else they'd be dead. At least He's already half way there and has a transformation.

But she has been warming up to Phantom at least, he thinks.

Fighting by Dash's side as an equal is something he never could have guessed would be so rewarding. He hasn't even threatened to beat him up since then!

He thinks?

Dash keeps giving him these weird shakes and powders, talking about working his muscles in what he thinks is supposed to be encouragement. He's been bullied for so long by him that he really can't tell if it's a prank. Still does it anyway because Dash keeps looking at him and he is very unsure if refusing would gain his ire. Especially when he started doing this.

As time moves on, he becomes more settled into this new normal. The kids who were there had enough social sway that he was able to get his grades up with some good tutoring and some good extra credit. His attendance still hurt but they were able to explain it as his parents wanted him to partake in ghost hunting, too! Not the whole truth but a great cover as no one will want to talk to his parents to confirm. It's like the cool kids have been taking 'nice lessons'.

Dash has been helping him build muscle, so now his human form isn't so weak that he can barely catch his breath just after a jog around the block... Or for when his powers are blocked in some way. Those weird shake things have been helping, too. Something safe to eat when the meat at home usually reanimates and they still have the ecto-weenies guarding the fridge, consuming almost anything put in there from ectoplasmic samples to fresh groceries.

Paulina has been strangely nice as well. She hasn't even made weird comments about or hit on him as Phantom as much. She gave him some make up tips when ghosts fights got bad enough he had bruises in human form once turning back. And he's kind of into it! It's fun playing with make up in a way he never expected like this. They now have a nail night where they work on each other's nail art and do facials together. They do it once a month together now. Star shows up when she can but sometimes it's hard to make all three schedules work with how busy school is and all the constant ghost attacks. During their hang outs she sometimes even calls him cute! That's so nice of her. Such a good friend compliment! He can tell because shes not using her mean or fake nice voice while saying it!

He and Valerie continue to grow closer as she teaches him some of her martial arts and encourages him to blather about space. He hugged her out of sheer excitement that he has someone else he can gush over his favorite thing to. Things are so much better between them now, even with her dislike of Phantom. They even teamed up together during Pariah's invasion a little bit ago as their alter egos and she offered him the chance to use the mech suit his parents made as Fenton. Though, she did threaten Phantom to make sure 'Danny' came back safely. Well, both him as Phantom and as Fenton to be safe. He could only promise to do his best given everything.

He's so glad she gave him a chance and he her. He first started offering her companionship out of guilt, but he has grown to truly care about her. His friends don't seem as hostile towards her anymore and now they all even hang out sometimes.

Sometimes Dash and Paulina are even in their friendly hang outs as well, old hostilities are forgotten or put aside, and he is thriving.

Sam still is her usual, prickly self. But it seems like she realized something about herself and others lately or something. Shes been getting along better with the other girls and seems to have come to an understanding of sorts with them. At least he thinks so. Danny is not entirely, sure but at least she has other things to do than get into another meat and veggies debate with Tucker. He hates having to meditate those!

And where would he be without his best of best bros? Tucker has always been his rock. Their whole lives he has been his closest companion practically since he would walk. He's always so chill and smart and skilled with his hands and just. He is grateful he remains in his life.

Or maybe half life? Let's not think about that right now.

Danny thinks he's starting to catch feelings for all his friends, not fully platonic feelings. And not just the girls and not just the new or old. But all five of his closest friends! Is he supposed to choose? He has too much love in his heart and fondness for them all at this point that it would hurt to forsake any of them like that.

Do they even feel the same way?

Would it be worth it?

He has new friends and they are all getting along now.

So why should he ruin such a nice thing for himself?

He was worrying about it so much that it worried the others and he didn't even notice.

Tucker grabbed his hand, dragging him out of his head.

"Where are we going?"

"Your intervention this time, dude. We've all been getting worried. You're pulling away, man! We all have something to say to you together and you're not getting out of it. This could help, bro."

They made it to an empty classroom during lunch. Everyone he was having a crisis about all in one place!

How was this supposed to help?!

At his confused and increasingly distressed reaction, everyone decided to just lay it all out there. All of their feelings and that they don't want to lose him.

Danny starts to cry. He doesn't want to choose or lose any of them, either. He's so relieved and overwhelmed that he can't stop.

"You do have two hands, Danny," Tucker reassured him, "You can choose one of us or all if you want. Hell, it doesn't even have to be romantic! You absolute goofball!"

"Wha? That's a thing?! You can have more than one? Wouldn't that be cheating?"

His concern and confusion was sweet. He truly didn't know and didn't want to hurt any of them, after all.

This time, Paulina and Sam teamed up.

"Danny, you sweet, feral teenage boy," Sam begins, "it's not cheating if all parties are ok with it. It's all about consent and communication. We are the ones bringing it up."

"The goth is right, sweetie. We all talked about it before. And who knows, maybe some of us will work better as platonic partners, we can figure that out down the line. But we can give it a try if you want."

He gave a wet laugh and the sunniest smile in response.

"Yes! I'd love to try it with all of you. Hope we can make this work!"

This really is the happiest Danny has been! He was so worried he could lose a friend if he confessed and they all like him! And that having multiple partners is allowed if they know! And! And!

He rushes in to give them all a hug at the same time. A group hug with their special, feral little guy in the center. Like he is in their hearts.

Yeah, this did make me feel better. Tuck sure was right about that!

[ghouljams]

Hi, Ghoul. Apologies for kinda venting (?) on your asks, and please ignore this if you'd like, but how does one cope with the idea (and, quite possibly, reality) of being alone for the rest of their life?

I've never been the most confident individual in my years of being alive. I'm not conventionally attractive, and I've been battling with my perception of self for like, basically my entire life. Never really had romantic relationships, other than unrequited and secret crushes. At first, I thought to myself that I could deal with being alone and unloved in that way, but I figured as I grew older that maybe I'm just trying to be tough about it. I want to have the kind of love that other people have, envious as I may sound. I want to be able to look at myself and think, "wow, despite my flaws, someone still took the risk to get to know me and chose to stay."

Of course, this is not to say that the love my tight-knit circle of friends and family aren't adequate. I'm just curious. And hopeful that someday I get to have that other kind of love.

That said, I really love your works and I am privileged to be able to read them :)) it's always such a delight to see your rambles and reblogs in my dash. <3 Hope everything is going well for you.

Hello my love. You already know I'm going to suggest therapy so I'm going to get that out of the way early.

Here's the meat of it. There are thousands upon millions of people who feel exactly the same way you do and I truly believe this is because of the way western society has structured its media/propaganda. So much of the media we consume is loaded with this idea that romantic love is this totally different thing that will complete your life and show you how worthy you are if only you can find it.

This is a load of horse shit.

One of the unhappiest times of my life was spent in my first relationship. I actually had a harder time loving myself because I was scrambling to prove I was worth being loved by a person who liked me in theory but in practice frequently flaked on dates and didn't care about my emotional wellbeing.

I say all of that because I had your same attitude of "despite my flaws they're choosing to stay with me" and ultimately she left me. Over text. It was a whole thing.

So many of you talk about being "old" and "destined to be alone" and you're like 25. Hell even if you're 50, people find love at any age, but the only way to find anyone good is to be comfortable with the fact that romantic love isn't the end all be all of love. You can fall in love with anyone, that doesn't make it a good relationship. It just means you're in love.

Also what do you mean "someone took the risk?" Are you a serial killer? Do you set fire to police cars? You sell meth? What risk do you pose to anyone? You're sad and have low self esteem. So what? That makes you a risky prospect? Your flaws of *checks notes* talking down about yourself is such a huge hurdle that it's a grave danger to anyone that wants to date you?

And I'm sorry I feel like I'm getting sort of mean but you got me in older sibling mode with this and so you're getting big sister shit.

I just- like if you truly believe that you are such a burden to date then you aren't going to get what you want out of a relationship. You'll become obsessed with the first person that reciprocates your affections and it will spiral into something that hurts you. I am speaking from experience.

My dear, i am a stranger on the internet, and I love you. This world is cruel towards tender hearts and disappointment hides in every corner, but we keep loving the world and the people in it anyway. Love finds us when we least expect it, and if you truly want that sort of love it will come to you.

But I need you to be kinder to yourself. I know you said you struggle with self image. Stop measuring yourself against other people. Stop setting up goal posts for your life. Stop thinking your flaws make you some undateable ghoul. They make you, you, and whoever you date will love you for them not in spite of them.

[laxmiree]

[CN] MLQC Lucien’s 2024 Birthday Story - First Snow Wish Translation

⚠️ SPOILER ALERT!! ⚠️

This post contains a detailed spoiler for a story that has not been released in EN yet! Feel free to notify me if there are any mistakes in the translation~

Lucien’s 2024 CN Birthday Event (Golden Love Ratio)✧ Birthday Story (You’re here!) | Birthday Prologue + Birthday Date | ASMR | Birthday Party

Of course, he would have his parents live there too, reserving the biggest and most beautiful research room for them.

That way, Mom and Dad wouldn't have to go to the laboratory anymore.

When that time came, he would invent a machine that could make things easier for his parents, so they wouldn't have to be so busy and could spend more time with him.

Translation under the cut!

This year’s theme is “childhood dreams,” so the pre-evolve CG depicts the dreams the boys had as children about what they would be like as adults. Along with the usual birthday R&S-style story, there’s also a chibi event story.

The R&S-style story focuses on his birthday as a child (possibly his 5th birthday, since his 6th is already covered in his 3rd birthday R&S). Meanwhile, the chibi event explores the dream he has. As for translating the chibi events... let’s see if I will have time🤧

[Birthday Story - First Snow Wish]

Loveland City has reached late autumn, but the first snow has yet to arrive.

A little boy sat at his desk, leafing through a thick science magazine and occasionally glancing out at the cold weather outside. At this hour, Mom and Dad should be coming home soon.

As if confirming his intuition, he soon heard the sound of the door lock turning downstairs. The boy's eyes lit up instantly as he dashed out of his room, quickly bouncing down the stairs, where he saw his mom and dad at the entrance, taking off their coats. His dad was holding a box of videotapes, while his mom carried a cake box.

"Happy birthday, my precious! Your dad and I brought a movie on videotape. We think you'll really like it! Want to watch it together?" Mom said, smiling as she hung up her coat and took the boy's hand.

"And besides the cake—" Dad winked mysteriously, "I'm going to show off my skills today and cook a feast for you and your mom."

[T/N: His Mom called him 宝贝 (bǎobèi) 🥺 It's not a loanword from the English "baby," but rather a Chinese term of endearment that literally means "treasure" or "precious one." I translate this word as “my precious” to attempt to capture this nuance.]

In the living room, the television hummed softly. Mom carefully adjusted the VCR, making sure the picture was clear. Dad carried the boy to the sofa and meticulously covered him with a blanket.

The videotape started to play, and a snow-covered castle appeared on the screen. The boy sat between his parents, his small hands holding a steaming plate of dumplings, completely absorbed in the story unfolding on the screen.

[Notes from Lux: The dumplings!!!🤧 reminds me of his first CNY SSR when he asked MC to teach him how to make dumplings 🥺]

The inventor in the movie was creating all sorts of wonderful machines in his castle: flying bicycles, talking teapots, and even a machine that could make rainbows. The boy's eyes widened greatly as he watched these bizarre arrays of fantastical inventions.

"Mom and Dad, will your lab be able to make such magical things in the future?”

Dad laughed cheerfully. "The magic of science is that it can make seemingly impossible things possible. Just like the inventor in the movie, we are also pursuing new discoveries."

"But what's even more magical," he added, "is that... son, whatever you like, Mom and Dad will work hard to make it a reality."

The boy raised his eyebrow a bit skeptically, but he didn’t rush to voice the question in his mind. However, his expression was keenly noticed by his mom, and he felt the gentle touch of her hand on his hair.

"My precious, whether it's science or life, the driving force behind everything is the simplest ‘love’."

Before they knew it, snow began to fall over the small town in the movie, as the film was drawing to a close. The boy contentedly looked at his parents, but then from the corner of his eye, he caught sight of the fresh snowflakes drifting down outside the window. It was the first snow of the year.

"Let's go out and take a look, we can even build a snowman~" Before the boy could even speak, his mom had already read his mind and gave his dad a meaningful glance.

So Dad immediately got up and found scarves and gloves for the three of them. First, he carefully helped the boy put on his hat and tied his scarf, then he wrapped Mom in her favorite warm-colored scarf. Once the three of them were all bundled up, they excitedly headed out the door.

A thin, delicate layer of white snow had already accumulated in the courtyard, glimmering faintly under the streetlight. The boy couldn’t wait to dash into the yard. He reached out his small hands to catch the falling snowflakes, watching them quietly melt in his palms, and let out a laugh of delighted surprise.

Dad squatted down and started building a small snowman. “Come, let’s give it a big belly together.” The boy and his mom joined in, working together seamlessly: the father took charge of building the main body, the mother shaped and refined it, while the boy was responsible for “dressing up” the snowman.

"We should use these for its eyes!" The boy picked up two small pebbles and solemnly pressed them onto the snowman's face.

"What about the nose?" Mom asked.

"How about a carrot? Just like in the movie."

Dad immediately ran home to get a carrot and also brought out one of his old hats. It seems that as long as it’s something the boy imagines, they’ll do their best to make it come true in real life.

"Hmm... it also needs a lab coat, so it looks like the inventor in the movie." The boy examined the snowman quite seriously, just as he saw his mother, unable to hold back a smile, take off her own scarf and attentively wrap it around the snowman's neck.

As the curtain of night began to descend, snowflakes continued to drift down quietly. The snowman stood alone in the snow, wearing Dad's hat and wrapped in Mom's scarf. The boy thought of the grand castle from the movie and the inventor's lone and busy figure in the laboratory.

A tiny hope suddenly welled up from the bottom of his heart. How wonderful it would be if he could live in a place like that when he grew up, surrounded by fantastic inventions, with snow always visible outside the window. Of course, he would have his parents live there too, reserving the biggest and most beautiful research room for them. That way, Mom and Dad wouldn't have to go to the laboratory anymore.

The boy pondered, his eyes gradually lighting up. When that time came, he would invent a machine that could make things easier for his parents, so they wouldn't have to be so busy and could spend more time with him.

However, if he became a scientist like his parents, he could not only explore more of the unknown in the world, but also become as capable as them and help them solve difficult problems at work.

[Notes from Lux: In other words, becoming an inventor was his ‘selfish’ dream, stemming from his desire to spend more time with his parents. However, he also always wants to follow in his parents' footsteps and be a scientist, that way, he can also help them 🤧]

The bright moonlight illuminated the piling snow in the courtyard, casting a long and slender shadow of the snowman across the ground. The boy looked up at the gently falling snowflakes, feeling they were like powdered sugar sprinkled from the sky.

So he caught some of the "powdered sugar" with his gloves and ran toward his parents. Although he hadn’t yet decided on his dreams, he wanted to keep this feeling in his heart forever.

Because more precious than any dream is this snowy night, his parents' smiles, and the small world that belongs to the three of them.

[sevdrag]

hello sev i am sorry to bother you but. if you have the time. could you PLEASE elaborate on how you thought elon musk was a tumblr meme i have not been able to stop thinking about it

So. The first thing you need to know about me is that I haven't been able to follow the news for the last, like, well. About 10 years. First I was in a black-hole-of-employment, and then once 2016 hit, reading the news just made me unhealthy levels of furious. So I stopped doing it for my own sanity. This, more than anything, allowed me to live a blissful life where Actual Husband could update me every weekend on anything important, while I had a drink in my hand. I ignored as much news as I could during those years, cause it turned me into something horrible. So! That's the foundation of this story.

I also don't pay attention to, like, famous people and stuff. At all. I thought the band was called One Directional, okay? I am happy in my little corner.

The second thing to note is that while I'm quite intelligent, I also am incredibly scatter-brained. It's the ADHD.

The third is to note that I'm a heavy Tumblr user. I've curated my dash here to show me, mostly, things I like to see. It's relaxing.

So I saw all the memes about Glup Shitto and Blorbo and a million other made-up Tumblr names (whatever they were back in like 2015-ish) during my daily lunchtime scroll, right? SO when I see a post about a guy named Elon Musk, paired with something absolutely fucking ridiculous, my brain just goes: Oh. Tumblr made up another meme guy. This one's rich. That's funny.

I don't remember, but I'm possibly even reblogging stuff about Elon Musk during this time, still thinking it's a meme name. I mean, look at it. Elon Musk. Sorry, dudebro, but your name be dumb.

Elon Musk wants to build his own spaceship. Okay, Tumblr. Sure. It's like a Tony Stark that's just buttfuckingly stupid. I get the meme. Cause, like, he does crazy fucking stuff, right? Crazy stupid stuff. Gotta be a meme. Tumblr's really going for it, I think. Alright.

Anyway, Elon Musk comes up in a Discord GC one day, and my friends are talking about him like he's a real person, and I just said:

Hold on. I thought he was a meme.

Chat, of course, is silent for a drastically embarrassing amount of time, and then explodes.

And that's how I learned, in front of a bunch of friends, that Elon Musk was NOT a tumblr meme character, but a real-life idiot doing real-life crazy ass shit. It took me a humiliatingly-ass time to realize it, and I DO still get Sevdragged about it to this very day.

tl;dr due to my head-in-the-sand tendencies and my love of Tumblr, unlike the rest of you, I had a blissful period in my life where Elon Musk was completely made-up.

I wish that were still true.