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laora-inn · 4 years ago

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Supernatural - Of Dean, Cas and Pies

Well, in this post I’ve said that Cas = Dean’s pie and promised to talk about it later.

I’ve seen a lot of meta considering Destiel, cakes and pies. In fiction, food is always kinda connected with sex and craving for it, and also with death. All the cycle, Eros and Tanathos, you know.

So it’s no wonder that there are lots of food in Supernatural and lots of it’s possible interpretations. Maybe, ALL of them are right simultaneously.

The version about Dean’s food personally I like, by @amwritingmeta from here:

Trash Food: the life of the hunter = saving people, hunting things Pie: home and stability (the longing for his mother and his longing for love) Cake: at first being reluctant, but open, to trying new things

I think it’s absolutely correct. That’s why Dean’s hook-up with Anna in 5x10 is characterized by Uriel as “having a piece of angel food cake”. Anna is an angel, it’s certainly new experience for Dean, to hook up with an angel.

The cake could also refer to Dean’s bisexuality, though in my opinion there is a bigger problem here.

‘Cause you know, there will be a great difference in the sharpness of your sexual experience and in aftertaste if it’s not just sex but something more, an emotional connection. And that connection is the scariest part of every possible relationship.

So I don’t see the point in Dean’s sexuality there. The point is whether Dean want to try something new of not, both in his sexual preferences and family life, in his life at all.

From the Supernatural wiki:

There have been occasions when Dean has been tempted by cake:

3.02. The Kids Are Alright: Dean is seen eating birthday cake with a young Ben Braeden at his birthday party.

7.03. The Girl Next Door: While laid up with his broken leg, Dean asks Sam to go on a food run. When Dean asks, “Where’s the pie?” Sam says, “You got cake, that’s close enough, right?” Dean does not eat the piece of cake.

7.06. Slash Fiction: Dean ask Sam to buy him something that “rhymes with songs songs” i.e. Ding Dongs which a small chocolate cake with a creamy center.

10.12. About a Boy: 14-year-old Dean snacks on cake while he is held captive, he didn’t much care for it.

10.15. The Things They Carried: In a police station, there is a birthday cake on the desk. The police officer offers cake to Sam and Dean, but Sam declines on their behalf. Dean looks disappointed, and sneaks a fingerful of icing.

I think all of them, situation with Anna included (textual references can work even better than visual ones, as for me), refer to Dean’s possibilities of new experience.

In 3x02 he had a possibility of a new family with Lisa and Ben, and he tried it. Back then the show was supposed to end with them as Dean’s constant family. So we’ve got a cake and Dean who’s eating it, possibly enjoying.

7x03 is crucial for Destiel shippers. Why? ‘Cause that’s the moment than Dean needed A PIE and got A CAKE from Sam instead. And nope, he didn’t manage to eat it. Why? Because this cake isn’t his pie. In 7x02 Dean lost Cas. And nothing can replace him, more than that, Dean doesn’t want to try anything new, he just can’t even if Sam helps and doesn’t see the difference.

7x06 was Dean’s prompt to try something new - to have a daughter with Lydia. He didn’t make it either.

Also he didn’t like the cake he ate in 10x12 as a teenager, said the cake was too dry. So he didn’t stay a teenager (someone he used to be a long time ago, but being a teenager now is new experience for him, a chance to start a new life, without Mark of Cain on his arm). Dean preferred to stay an adult in this episode - he tried something new and didn’t like it.

In 10x15 Dean tried the cake = something new. I think it’s the moment when they’ve finally said us: okay, guys. In case you still have some doubts, let’s clarify. A new endgame for Dean comes, not with Lisa and Ben for sure.

So whom with? Oh, well. Maybe with an angel whom Dean gave the First Blade, like he’s preferring him to Crowley? An angel whom Cain saw Dean’s parallel to his wife Colette in? Both moments were in episode 10x14, the previous one!

If 10x14 and 10x15 haven’t clarified it to us yet, in 10x16 Dean also says that there are some people and some feelings he wants to try in a different way. Yep, something new. Three times make no coincidence. This “new” is connected to Cas, and here from cakes appearances are rare. ‘Cause Dean’s already in the path of trying something new.

I think that’s the reason why there were no cakes and pies in season 11th. I love this season very much, it’s also supposed to be the last one, and I suggest Destiel endgame was planned here at the end, maybe not in explicit form, but still. We could tell it looking to the story fabric.

And then they’ve just torn it up at the very end and added 4 more seasons, full of Destiel and pies. Why pies, not cakes? Why pies remain and are still relevant to the story?

‘Cause after Destiel “confession”, which wasn’t at the end of 11th season, but was supposed to be there for sure (and that’s the reason why 11x23 looks like kinda awkward to me, especially Destiel talk in the car about friendship and brotherhood, which was a big step back itself), Dean and Cas aren’t subtextually “something new” to each other. They are ALREADY “family”, and not like brothers. They are couple.

It’s no wonder that after this point pie=Cas for Dean. No, not Mary. Mary is a part of equation, but her special dish isn’t a pie, she can’t even cook pies. No, not Sam. Sam can bring a pie for Dean, but that’s Dean who should be confident enough to take it.

But actually even before season 12, since season 7, pie references were connected with Cas mostly.

From season 1 to season 6 they mean rather a family in broader sense. ‘Cause “apple-pie life”, you know. Life with the family, who loves you, not with the toxic people.

More quotes for us from the wiki, seasons 1-3:

The running gag relating to Dean's pie love, is that Dean rarely gets to eat his pie.

1.11. Scarecrow: In Burkittsville Indiana Scotty's Cafe serves apple pie made from the towns apple crop. "We’re famous for our apples. So, you gotta try this pie." he tells a couple who the townsfolk will later try to kill. Dean orders a piece of the pie. Later when Dean is tied up as a sacrifice, he yells the now classic line ""I hope your apple pie is freakin’ worth it!"

2.21. All Hell Breaks Loose: Part One: Dean asks Sam to get him some pie from a diner while he waits in the car. Once inside, Sam is taken by demons and transported to Cold Oak, with the other Special Children.

3.05. Bedtime Stories: When a young couple, Ken and Julie, are lost in the woods, they come across a sweet old lady who invites them inside her house to rest. Ken sees pie cooling on her windowsill and accepts her invitation despite Julie's reservations. Once they've eaten a fair amount of the pie, it is revealed the pie was poisoned, and the old lady kills Ken with a butcher's knife while he lies on the floor unable to fight her off.

3.16. No Rest for the Wicked: When Lilith kills her host's grandfather, he literally falls face first onto a piece of pie.

Here we see that pies are mostly connected to family, death and danger. Because in seasons 1-3 the Winchesters have no chance to a happy family. They are deeply in a toxic relationship with each other (poisoned pie), their father is dead, Sam is doomed, and they can’t be happy. That’s why Dean can’t have his pie here. That’s why he accuses Sam of wanting an "apple-pie life” in 1x01 - Dean doesn’t think he deserves this life himself and mocks on it while craving for it. His greatest fear, as far as we know in season 1, is to be abandoned. To have no family at all, even the toxic one.

So, in the end of season 3 Dean dies because of his deal, which purpose was to save his only family member left. Sam, who is holding Dean’s corpse in the end of 3x16. Yep, dead face in the pie.

Kinda tragic, you know.

Situation in seasons 4-5 looks just a slight better to me. Pies are more likely a symbol of happy family now... except the fact that Dean can hardly get them:

4.01. Lazarus Rising: When Sam and Dean are in a diner following Dean's resurrection, Dean orders pie. Unfortunately, the pie is brought to them by a possessed waitress, and Dean is unable to enjoy it. After their confrontation with the demons in the diner, Dean leaves money to pay for the pie.

4.02. Are You There, God? It's Me, Dean Winchester: When faced with a pile of research on angels, Dean demands of Sam, "You're gonna get me some pie!" When Sam returns sans pie (due to encountering Ruby), Dean complains, "Dude, Where's the pie?"

5.15. Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid: Karen Singer finds baking makes life as a zombie easier, and fills Bobby's house with pies. On one of the few occasions Dean gets to eat pie, it's baked by a zombie.

5.16. Dark Side of the Moon: In Heaven, Dean and Sam relive a memory from when Dean was four years old. Mary makes him a sandwich with a glass of milk and then has a brief argument on the phone with John. Dean goes to comfort her, and Mary hugs him and says "You are my little angel. How ‘bout some pie?" This may be a clue to the origin of Dean's love of pie, and his associations between pie and comfort.

5.19. Hammer of the Gods: Mercury tells Dean after checking in that the hotel has "the best pie in the tri-state area." Sam also warns Dean that they should leave the motel while eating at the buffet: “It’s Biblical, exactly. It’s friggin’ Noah’s ark out there and we’re eating pie”.

Situations in 4x01 and 4x02 refer to Sam. He can’t be a pie for Dean, his family anymore, ‘cause he has Ruby now, a demon. Demons interfere between Dean and pie. Well, sorry for them.

Situation in 5x15 refer to Bobby as a part of family whom Dean in this episode wants to save. Also pies here have a straight connection to death, even the Death himself.

Karen also says, that Dean’s never been in love. He knows only familial love... and during this conversation he is eating a pie. Karen makes pies to bring peace=her love to Bobby, and this love is romantic for 100%. And hella tragic.

I don’t think Dean was in love with Cas back then. Cas was his friend and meant a lot to Dean, maybe Dean was attracted to him somehow, hoped for him, even loved him - but, in my opinion, not romantically.

So that time Cas just couldn’t be Dean’s pie.

To tell the truth, I don’t think ANYONE besides Cas could.

From 5x16 we know, that pie for Dean means not just family, but a happy one, a family, where he is unconditionally and absolutely loved. We also know that the pie could be associated with the word “angel”, even if in the context of a season 5 that may sound kinda sarcastic.

Pie from the 5x19, as I suppose, refer to another family. Not the Winchesters, but Lucifer and Gabriel. ‘Cause now, then Sam and Dean are the vessels, they are certainly a part of a BIGGER family (which also includes Cas, btw). But this family is absolutely awful, toxic and bloody.

Let’s see how the textual references to the pies in seasons 4-5 work:

4.22. Lucifer Rising: when it seems like Dean has given up on Sam, Bobby gives him a talking to: “Are you under the impression that family's supposed to make you feel good?! Bake you an apple pie, maybe? They're supposed to make you miserable! That's why they're family!”

5.12. Swap Meat: when Sam is returned to his own body, he confides in Dean that life as a normal kid "sucked ass": “All that apple-pie, family crap? It's stressful. Trust me, we didn't miss a damn thing”.

5.22. Swan Song: when Sam is preparing to say yes to Lucifer, he makes Dean promise that he won't try to get him back from Lucifer's Cage. He wants Dean to find Lisa and try to live a "normal, apple-pie life."

I think that’s what Dean wants from his family - to get an apple pie (unconditional love/appreciation). He can’t get it from them, and that’s the main tragedy in his life for the seasons 1-5. He is too fixated on them and can’t move on.

Lisa and Ben are just a dream of an apple-pie life (love) for Dean. But you know, that’s not how it works. To notice someone’s love and to appreciate it, you should love them back. We've never had enough information about Lisa and Ben to make any conclusions about. And Sam’s words from 5x12 just state that they both, Sam and Dean, currently can’t believe that they deserve a happy family, deserve to be loved (hello Crowley’s allusion).

Season 6 is poor for pies (and love), both textually and visually. That’s the season where Cas goes the dark side, ‘cause Dean doesn’t love him back (doesn’t trust him), so no wonder.

Here some pie moments:

6.04. Weekend at Bobby's: Bobby's neighbor Marcy Ward brings him a ginger peach cobbler. Marcy, after some exposure to Bobby hunting, decides against dating Bobby, who never gets to eat the pie because he keeps getting interrupted.

6.08. All Dogs Go to Heaven: Dean is sick of soulless Sam trying to act normal, and he tells him that he doesn't buy his act: “You say you're "just folks," yeah? That - that you like baseball and apple pie, or whatever. But truth is, I don't know what you are, 'cause you're not Sam”.

6.11. Appointment in Samarra: Death tells Dean "What do you think the soul is? Some pie you can slice? The soul can be bludgeoned, tortured, but never broken, not even by me."

In Bobby’s case a pie=possible romantic relationship, but Bobby can’t get it.

Dean in 6x08 means that even if soulless Sam says he likes/loves his family (Dean and Bobby), he lies.

The last line I think isn’t connected with this all pie=love narrative. The Death just knows about Dean’s love for pies and says what he needs to say in a simple way. But it’s also about family - Sam’s soul, basically Sam himself.

And it’s season 7 where we have the narrative change! It deals not only with pies, but also with Dean’s feelings to Cas. I think he’s still not in love here. But Dean comes closer to understanding this season. Without this romantic subplot season 7 is just a mess. And you know, this subplot is something what is not easy to notice. That’s why season 7 was something that nearly killed all the show. You should be more open to your fans.

Pies in this season:

7.02. Hello, Cruel World: A TV ad for Biggerson's announces they now have a homemade pie bar - like a salad bar but for pies!

7.03. The Girl Next Door: While laid up with his broken leg, Dean asks Sam to go on a food run. When Dean asks, "Where's the pie?" Sam says, "You got cake, that's close enough, right?" Dean does eat from the piece of cake and passes out on the couch, leaving it unfinished.

7.05. Shut Up, Dr. Phil: Dean is in the motel room, about to eat a cream pie, when Sam comes in and presents him with some chickens feet that they require to combat the witches. They have not been refrigerated due to a power blackout, and Dean is put off his pie.

7.22. There Will Be Blood: Dean is devastated to learn that the modified corn syrup the Leviathan are using to make humans docile and obese is in nearly all his favorite foods, including pie. Dean: "Roman acquires..." What's SucroCorp? Sam: They make food additives, namely high-fructose corn syrup. That crap is in – well, it's in just about everything – um, soda, sauces, bread. Dean: Don't say "pie." Sam: Definitely pie. Dean: Bastards.

Moment from 7x02 can refer to Leviathans that were in Cas. There are MANY of them, they were ruining his core. Connection to the death and danger once again, but this time it refers to Cas. FOR THE FIRST TIME. Why?

Moment from 7x03 had also a cake and was discussed before. The meaning of it that Dean wants Cas back and can’t move on. So, here Cas=Dean’s pie for sure.

7x05 deals with the lovers’ quarrel that ruins the whole town. They are two powerful witches who need to be in peace, then the world will be whole once again. I think that refers to Cas’s and Dean’s quarrel at the end of 6th season, because IT IS basically the reason why Leviathans are here ruining the world. Dean and Cas should have been in peace to prevent it.

Yep, Sam and Dean also have their quarrel about poor Amy, but this quarrel is a result of Dean’s misunderstanding with Cas, of Cas’s death. I feel sorry for Amy so much! She’s a victim of Dean’s personal issues, and that’s very mean of him, to kill Amy, who once was significant to Sam, in a kind of a mirror situation. I lost Cas - you’ll have to loose your monster girlfriend too, and why are you so obsessed with the monsters at all, hey, little brother?

The truth is Sam HAD NEVER such a powerful connection with a supernatural being that Dean had. It’s Dean who was obsessed with a monster, not Sam, and Dean IS still obsessed. So much, that he kills Amy in a prompt to be freed from obsession, to forget Cas’s death and the fact that it’s what is bothering him so much.

So yes, now Dean can’t have his pie. Because Cas is dead, and the world is ruining (chickens feet that they require to combat the witches have not been refrigerated due to a power blackout, CAUSED by these witches‘ love quarrel).

Definitely Sam and Dean have their own issues which can be very destroying but in this episode they haven’t. It’s LOVERS’ quarrel that ruins everything, as in the whole season 7. Once you’ll understand it, season 7 becomes much more interesting. The writers should be clearer with us here, but they weren’t brave enough. Personally I think THAT was the main problem for Sarah, but except this she is a good writer and she did an excellent work for all of us Destiel shippers.

She prepared the scenery for the greatest love story I’ve seen.

Pie conversation between Sam and Dean in 7x22 refers to Cas’s unstable mind. The Leviathans messed up Dean’s pie, and now he and Sam should try to beat them to bring the pie back. Just change the word “pie” here with “Cas” and you’ll see that’s absolutely adequate metaphor given to us by the writers themselves.

Season 8 was a bliss for the shippers. I think Carver is a genius, I love the romantic story he made for Destiel SO MUCH. We see it within all of season he made, from 8 to 11, and it has a strong structure. Seasons 12-15 are more honest with DeanCas details and nuances, I’m absolutely in love with them, but simultaneously Destiel relationship in them is kinda... hidden sometimes, more than it was in seasons 8-11.

In seasons 8-11 we had certain plot circumstances that prevent Dean and Cas from being together. We have no such circumstances in seasons 12-15. So, are Dean and Cas together ALREADY? But why the hell that’s not IN THE TEXT? Or they are not together? But then why do they have couple dynamics?

Carver’s story for Destiel was PURE. The following story is more complex and in some way more painful, despite the fact we have Jack whom I adore. I fully understand writers’ reasons here: they can’t say in the text that Destiel is real till the end of the show, because I believe Destiel was the thing that's preventing show from shutting down all this time. The moment writers’ll recognize Destiel as a real thing for GA (like ”they are couple” in the text from the narrator we can trust) will be the moment that ends the show. OR THAT’S HOW DO THEY THINK.

Personally I think that it’ll be interesting to see TFW future adventures with canon Destiel and Saileen, ‘cause for me there should be some adventures then far and some couples’ problems too. As I said, in seasons 12-15 Dean and Cas act like an arranged couple ALREADY, and it’s still interesting to watch them. Actually the fact that they are NOT couple confirmed by writers yet was one of the main reasons of fans’ annoyance and show shutting down imao. ‘Cause you know, fans don’t like to be played all the time. Sarah made this mistake in season 7 already.

Carver didn’t play us.

So in season 8 we have 4 brilliant pie moments, connected with the all people who could be seen as Dean’s “family“ except Sam, one sure constant in his life. From this season we started to see Sam as Dean’s “child” and to understand it’s bad for both of them, it’s co-dependent relationship.

Notably, Dean fails to get his pie all these 4 times and despite the fact the other important for Dean people are involved, the pie ALWAYS refers to Cas.

Here are these moments:

8.09. Citizen Fang: At the Gumbo Shack, Dean asks Elizabeth for some pie, but she is out of what he wants. "You’re out of pecan? Story of my life," says Dean. Martin Creaser is later seen at the Gumbo Shack eating a piece of pie, before he takes Elizabeth hostage.

8.19. Taxi Driver: Dean brings takeout from Biggerson's for himself and Kevin Tran, including a slice of pie. The paranoid Kevin grabs a tray and retreats to the storeroom. Dean moans "That's my pie!"

8.20. Pac-Man Fever: Charlie Bradbury comments: "I will pick us up some grub, and unlike you Sam, I will not forget the pie" referring to Sam's long history of failing to get Dean his pie as requested, a fact she obviously read in the the Supernatural books. Notably, Charlie also fails to get Dean any pie.

8.22. Clip Show: At the Convenience store, Castiel buys things he knows Dean likes: beef jerky, beer, a copy of Busty Asian Beauties, toilet paper. He tries to buy pie, even going as far as threatening the convenience store clerk, but of course to no avail, continuing the running gag in which Dean never gets his pie.

Now let me explain.

8x09 takes place right after 8x08 where Cas, brainwashed by Naomi, decided to stay away from Dean. No Cas = no pie for Dean. More than that, the one who has the pie here is a villain of this episode and that refers to Naomi. Also, this episode involves Benny who basically is a part of Dean’s “family”, though never spoken and not the same as Cas for sure. Dean trusted Benny only because the vampire defended Cas in Purgatory. It was mentioned in many metas, it’s IN THE TEXT of the story. In case you doubt it, just re-watch 8x01, 8x02 and 8x05. There you can see all Dean’s and Benny’s dynamics.

Yep, Benny saved Dean’s life in 8x01 and helped him later, but the turning point in their relationship which was as far as it possible from the friendship was the moment when Benny saved Cas’s life. Despite of all the things he said about how dangerous is to search for Cas and to walk with him through the Purgatory.

In 8x09 Dean helps Benny as a part of his family, his brother-in-arms and friend, but he still has no pie. Truly story of his life.

The moment with the pie could also refer to Elisabeth. Martin has the pie = he has her as a hostage. Dean’s hint about the pie in their conversation sounds flirty as well, and Benny suspects something about Dean and his great-granddaughter.

But Elisabeth was in this episode only, though the pie metaphors remain. So I suppose that pie moment has more than one interpretation, and the essential to the whole plot one refers to Cas.

8x19 takes place right one episode after 8x17 where Cas, brainwashed by Naomi... guess what? Yep, decided to stay away from Dean. No Cas = no pie for Dean. AGAIN.

This time it’s Kevin who stole the pie, also a part of the family. In season 9 Dean’ll call him a younger brother. Dean helps Kevin, brings him the food, they actually have the help of each other. Still, Dean doesn’t have his pie.

After the next conversation with Kevin in this episode Naomi comes. She says “You're hoping Castiel will return to you. I admire your loyalty. I only wish he felt the same way”. No chances for the pie. Yep.

In 8x20 Charlie mentions the pie to reveal she’s read the books on Supernatural. She also mentions Cas to Dean and to Dean only. I think she understood the pie metaphor :) But also, even if she is a family to Dean and actually says him “I love you”, 100% platonically ‘cause she likes girls only, she fails to give Dean a pie. She isn’t his pie, and Cas - oh, he is still missing after 8x17 and Naomi’s words. No Cas = no pie. It’s the third time, guys.

Finally, in 8x22 Cas returns to Dean and decides to give him the pie himself. It’s funny how desperate he is about finding the pie for Dean - because actually HE IS A PIE.

Here Metatron comes, a villain for the next season, and make Cas forget about the pie - he provides some “greater” goals for Cas just to trick him.

I hate Metatron more than any other character in this story. He may be the ONE I hate at all - because it’s him who makes obstacles in Destiel way through seasons 8-11. He tricked Cas at the end of 8th season and took him from Dean, he killed Dean at the end of 9th season when Cas gave up an army for Dean, he was a reason of Dean and Cas disagreement in 10th season when Dean almost killed him, he said to Cas that he is expandable in season 11, which made Cas say “yes” to Lucifer. Not to mention he stole Cas’s grace, initiated Kevin’s assassination, killed packs of angels, worsened relationship between Cas and Heaven and was arrogant enough to claim himself a new God while manipulating homeless people. He was redeemed, found God and saved Cas from Amara, but I still don’t like him. He’s just a dick - just like Chuck, even worse.

The next season has two pie moments as far as I know, both of them refer to Cas:

9.03. I'm No Angel: Dean buys pie that Sam complains about. It does not appear that Dean gets a chance to eat the pie. Sam: Look at these chemicals. Do you even read the label? Dean: No. I read "pie." The rest is just "blah, blah, blah."

9.12. Sharp Teeth: Dean is given pie (baked by Sister Joyce and reputedly famous through the "Badger State") with lunch by a pack of werewolves. Although we don't see him eat it, Sam later says "They gave you lunch; they gave you pie".

9x03 is the episode where Cas is already a human and he is dangerous - the angels haunt him. But that’s not a big deal for Dean. He sees Cas, and the rest is just "blah, blah, blah". Though in this episode Dean has to kick Cas away. No pie again.

9x12 is the episode with Garth, who is also like family to Dean. They mourn about Kevin together and even share a hug. Garth is a werewolf here, he has a werewolf wife, and Dean and Sam are invited to the werewolves’ family dinner. The table is served with pies, which look just terrible. The same scary pies are in the fridge, while Dean is checking it, possibly looking for the human hearts. We don’t know if Dean’s eaten some pie here, but I suppose he’s not. ‘Cause this family, especially Sister Joyce, isn’t good after all... and because it’s Garth who get a pie here, not Dean. Garth found his romantic love and get happy life with her while Dean is carrying Mark of Cain now and after Kevin’s death can’t let himself to be happy. No pie, my friends. No pie.

Pie in the season 10 has rare appearances, we have more cake moments here, ‘cause Mark of Cain made Dean think about some new possibilities in his life for sure.

Still, we have such moments:

10.03. Soul Survivor: In between giving demon Dean purified blood injections, Sam goes to Dean's bedroom where he spots a half eaten piece of pie.

10.22. The Prisoner: When Crowley goes to a diner looking to make a deal with the cook, he is seen eating a slice of pie.

In 10x03 Dean is freed of being demon by Sam and Cas. We saw Sam couldn’t help him alone, and we saw Dean compliments Cas’s good look, as well as how is he upset when Cas said about female in his car. Cas came just to leave - so the pie wasn’t eaten again. But we have some progress here. :)

In 10x22 Dean hasn’t a pie either. He isn’t human again, not a demon, but not himself as well. He just doesn’t need food. He doesn’t need family business, family, love, trying something new. He doesn’t need Cas anymore. This is a heartbreaking episode with Destiel fight, with Dean who is actually less human than Crowley is. Despite Crowley shows his red eyes here, he also eats a cake. He CARES about Dean, Sam, Rowena, and last but not least he cares about Cas. I think that’s what his pie represents.

As much as I hate Metatron, I love Crowley. I’m sure that without him as an acting character Destiel would be just impossible and miss him so much in the latest seasons. He knew how to make it right.

As I said, there are NO PIE AND CAKE MOMENTS in season 11, which was supposed to make Destiel canon. But they didn’t. So, Mary, who was originally responsible for all this pie story, showed up. And the pie metaphor returned!

12.02. Mamma Mia: Dean finally gets some pie, when Mary brings him a blueberry pie after they have had dinner. To Dean's surprise, Mary admits that she actually bought the pie instead of making it as Dean previously believed his mother would do.

12.05. The One You've Been Waiting For: Sam brings a pie home from the store for Dean, but Dean is too distracted to eat it, opting instead to get a pie later after having killed Hitler.

12.10. Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets: Sam and Dean meets Ishim, who was Castiel’s superior. Dean is asking “Who wants some pie?” and by the end of conversation Ishim says “Have some pie“ to Dean while leaving money at the dinner table.

Here I must confess that I absolutely love Mary as well. :) I think she understands Dean, I think she knows that Cas is important for him from the time she’s first met him. Also I think she appreciates all that Cas’s doing. I wrote about it here just a bit, but actually there are a lot of examples. So that’s no wonder that is Mary who manages to give Dean a pie. In the end, in 12x12 Cas’ll say “I love you” because of what’s Mary done.

But again, the pie isn’t something that Mary made herself. She just can deliver the pie to Dean.

The pie moment from 12x05 is about Dean’s self-worth issue. Actually, Dean could have his pie, communicate with Cas despite Cas’s working with Crowley, but Dean thought he didn’t deserve that. He needed to do something nearly impossible, to kill Hitler, for instance, to fell worthy.

Back in the season 6, Cas’s working with Crowley was the reason of Dean and Cas’s fight, that literally almost ruined the world. So no wonder that Dean doesn’t like it.

I wrote about Destiel and Crowley here in details, from the start till the end. Just one little piece:

Season 12 - here Cas and Crowley start to look for Lucifer together and this is a horrible piece of news to Dean. Cas left him in 12x03 to work with Crowley again! Cas and Crowley are playing FBI agents together - it was Dean’s only role-play with Cas from 5x03!

The pie moment from 12x10 is textual only but important one, as for me. It’s well-known Steve Yokey’s episode,whom I absolutely adore. Here, during Cas and Dean’s conversation with Ishim, pie is mentioned:

Dean: Well, who wants some pie?

Ishim: You know, when I knew Castiel, he was a soldier. He was a warrior. He was an angel's angel. Now look how far he's fallen. Dean: How about a little coffee with that sugar? Ishim: No wings, no home. Just a ratty old coat and a pair of poorly trained monkeys. Dean: Oh. Well, you can go to Hell. Cas: Dean, it's fine. Sam: No. No, it's not. Cas: Sam, this isn't about me. It's about Benjamin. Ishim: Now that is refreshingly accurate. But since you brought a couple of extra “people” to our little chitchat, we should go somewhere more private. I have a safe house nearby. I'll go get Mirabel. So nice to see you, old friend. Have some pie.

Dean’s words about pie are for Ishim. Ishim ‘s words about pie are for Dean only - he also gives Dean some money. Their conversation begins and ends with a pie, and clearly they both understand the meaning. That’s why Ishim answers to Dean’s “Well, who wants some pie?” with “You know, when I knew Castiel, he was a soldier“.

‘Cause for Dean Cas = pie. And Ishim gets that.

All their words could be translated like that:

Dean: Do you wanna my Cas?

Ishim: He isn’t in female vessel anymore, and this matters for me. Also, I envy you two happy gays who like sweets and chick-flick moments. Dean: Too much sugar in your coffee for the man who doesn’t like sweets. You certainly wanna him for your purposes, and I won’t let you have him. Ishim: He was much more better with me back then. Dean: You used him. Cas: Dean, it's fine. Sam: No. No, it's not. Cas: Sam, this isn't about me. It's about Benjamin. Ishim: Oh, we’ll talk about him. In my place ‘cause I need some insurance. Your boyfriend is too aggressive. I’m interested in Mirabel, not in you, old friend, ‘cause she listens to my commands and looks pretty. And you can have your Cas, poor-trained monkey. Some charity from me here.

I love this episode so, so much. I’ve re-watched it for 10 times at least and I’m certain about “pie=Cas” meaning for 100%. To tell the truth, this conversation between Dean and Ishim was the reason I’ve decided to write this meta.

In season 13 we have one visual moment with pie:

13.08. The Scorpion and the Frog: When the Winchesters arrive at Smile Diner to meet with the Crossroads Demon Barthamus, Barthamus offers Dean a slice of cherry pie. After Barthamus leaves, Dean begins eating the pie, earning him a look from Sam.

Barthamus offers Dean a spell to find Jack. When Jack is back, Cas is back. Sam tells is to Dean some episodes later. Of course, Dean wants Cas back, so he took this possibility to get his pie, even if he didn’t like Barthamus.

There was also one textual pie moment in season 13, which refers to Cas. I wrote about it here.

There are some pie moments in season 14:

14.06. Optimism: While working a case with Jack Kline, Dean order pie for both of them and gets to actually enjoy it for once without any sort of interruption aside from Jack's awkward questions about sex.

14.10. Nihilism: Cas sees through Dean’s good memories, and here Dean’s words from 2.21 are mentioned: “Hey, see if they got any pie!“

14.11. Damaged Goods: As she goes shopping for the ingredients for Winchester Surprise, Mary promises to get pie. She returns with an apple pie, but they do not get around to eating it.

14.16. Don't Go in the Woods: Pie is apparently on Dean's shopping list for Jack Kline as he is seen examining one. Jack later tells Dean that he bought everything on the list except the beer, as Jack has no valid ID and he didn't want to use a fake one, suggesting that Jack did indeed buy the pie. It is unknown if Dean ever gets to eat it, but it's possible, since Dean had nothing to interrupt him from enjoying the pie after he got back to the Bunker except for going to the store to buy beer.

In 14x06 Dean and Jack both have Cas with them. And Jack asks Dean about sex. Hmmm. Yokey’s episode, guys!

14x10 is also Yokey’s. So, Cas=pie metaphor could be used here as well - pie moment from 2x21 changes.

14x11 - if Dean is going to seal himself in the Mal’ak box, there will be no pie=Cas for him for sure. ‘Cause THE CLOSET, guys.

14x16 - as long as Jack is the Dean, the pie=Cas is with him. We’ll see the opposite thing in the next few episodes.

As well as in seasons 13-14, pie moments in season 15 is far too easy to read:

15.10. The Heroes' Journey: Dean attempts to buy a copy of Delicious Pies magazine, but is denied when his credit card is declined.

15.11. The Gamblers: Dean learns that he and Sam only have enough money for two cups of coffee and a slice of pie. Dean asks for two forks for himself and Sam to share the pie, but complains about not getting to eat a cheeseburger instead. However, Dean never gets to eat his pie as the waitress notices that the Impala has a flat tire before she can bring it to him.

15x10 - no luck=no pie=no Cas. Sam mentions that they are unlucky and that Cas isn’t with them in one line here, and he is right undeniably. Also, it’s interesting that this time it’s not the pie itself that Dean is buying. It’s a magazine how to cook them! After his nearly love confession to Cas in 15x09 Dean is ready to make his happiness himself. Sadly, he is no luck this episode.

And he isn’t buying Asian Beauties magazine! Unbelievable.

15x11 - here Dean isn’t flirting with the waitress AT ALL. No cheeseburgers, he is to pie=Cas strictly now. He can complain, but he even can’t eat cheese for now - here Sam tells that to him. Cheese may also refer to his hunter’s life - without his luck Dean can’t be a hunter. Maybe it’s the taste of the peaceful future? ;) We’ll see.

The word “pie” can also refer to women. But I believe that above there are enough evidences that the pie meaning here is different.

That’s what we are calling a subtext.

Thanks for the reading!

_______________________

This was the last Destiel topic I’ve wanted to write about this far. Let’s see what the last 7 episodes’ll bring. :)

I’d be happy to analyze any Destiel moment with you guys so feel free to write in my ask and to comment.

#Destiel #dean winchester #dean/castiel #dean/cas #CasDean #DEANCAS #destiel meta #destiel-meta #castiel #benny lafitte #supernatural #SPN #Kevin Tran #Charlie Bradbury

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modern-oedipus · 5 years ago

Text

Kinda a personal post that is not required to read but just first line is enough

Also I couldn’t get back to much of personal messages today because:

• i threw up in the morning and it shoookth me

• was running on 2 hours sleep

• had 8 hours of continious lecture and barely made it home just now, eaten, and calmed her shit down

•has 3 assingments and 2 quizzes due tomorrow

•did I mention, I can hear my own breath making Z z Z z Z z z Z sounds due to post-asthma hypersensitive body or SOME anNOYING THING that doctors said

• im mentally unwell because someone I love is mentally unwell and I can’t do a thing to help him regardless of my efforts and also i feel quite sad and desperate in general even though I do my best to not just let it go and get in a depresso mood

• so like. Responsibilities piled up, emotionally at my limit, physically sick, but at least not in so much physical pain.

I haven’t let anything go, though! I take care of my sick body regardless, I try to eat healthy, I /am/ doing the responsibilities one by one and making sure I finish them even if it costs me some sleep, I am trying to mentally reassure myself to things and although I haven’t got to write them down yet I planned some 2020 resolutions and cleaning; they have been on my mind for a long while now so if it all goes well I am planning to get a better start at the new year! I think I have done fairly well in 2019, most of my resolutions came to true by my own efforts anyway.

Anyway I didnt have to give a long explanation about why I was like this, I’d just say “I’m unavailable” if I didn’t want to share, but since I know that most of you care about me as friends (and I care about you as friends too, obviously, that’s a two sided thing), I thought those who care may read, just to have somr sort of idea about why Nila is shitposting but not individually replying. Those who don’t care (with no offense in them since no one is obligated to) have long scrolled past this, anyway.

Ihh I’m tired! Mentally, physically, emotionally, financially, I’m tired at all aspects but worse? I objectively don’t think it will get better. But I also objectively know that I hve no choice but to work to make it better because I love my life that I regained after so much hard work and battling with d, I love my family and friends whose days we brighten together, I (sort of) love my scientific research even tho science doesn’t seem to love me, I love the stories I am writing and the newspaper I am managing, I love walking in the soft wind, I love coffee talks and fun dates and hook ups, I love my pets and I love everyone who reached out to me and befriended me here on this account, I love reading/writing comments to the ao3 and reading/writing replies back to them, I love the fandom stuff we organize, I love working out and then having that serotonin boost, I love offering a newly baked recipte to family/friends, I love casual hook ups and if and when I’m in a relationship (my last rl lasted 3 years sooo... rip.. that was most of my life) I do love loving and being loved in return, I mean, I even love doing laundry like it is such a nice feeling to put all dirt in a machine and then take it back perfectly clean and cozy and nicely smelling, like idk, because of all these things (and more that I forgot to add) I can’t give up from my life and I can’t stop fighting for it to be better. I can’t give up from myself or my loved ones. There is so much to live for.

P.S. I also low key live for the days Given, To Die For, the “photographer Ray” au whose name I forgot, and the teacher/student norray fics ( ;) ) gets updated. I mean I’m sure I’m reading many more fics but these are the stuff I have been looking forward to ever since August or something and just knowing that one day I /MAY/ read a chapter of them sometimes make me motivated enough to go through a day. Also spaceomania’s (damn did I spell that right?! I’m absolutely NOT tagging anyone to this long ass post, don’t want them to go trouble reading it aLL) comments like I’m sure they made not just me but many other authors write a lot more happily than they normally would, oh I also live for Ardency but I am too scared to read it because itnis eNDING so I will procrastinate it, but like, yes.

I have reasons to keep going, I have reasons to stay strong. I may not be feeling my best now and my problems may not be fixed overnight but I have no choice but to have faith in myself & people I love & things I believe in (now, “believe” sounds so non-scientific but that’s subject for another day), so, I’ll go on.

I usually don’t like opening up about suicide or depression since I just think that’s way too personal to talk about (I still havent declared why it happened and I dont think Iw anna talk about it anyway), but, in case someone with suicidal tendencies is reading this (first of all congrats for coming thru this essay idk what kept you here but you’re amazing), just, remember that a year ago I was at where you are and, well, THIS is my mindset now. I am not telling you to compare your journey with mine or anyone else’s. I am just proving you that a way out of that dark tunnel is perfectly possible for you and even if my current situation may not be ideal (to be honest, is there even an ideal life? Problems will always exist), I’m gratefulthat I have got enough reasons to fight for. Sure, my energy still drains sometimes (hence why regular text talk with Nila is difficult. No she doesnt have adhd or anything. She has a fairly good attention span. She just lacks the friggin energy), but I restore it before it gets out of hand. Stuff like that. It’s possible, not for just me, but for you and for everyone. I’m not a publicly-spoken-social-norm-warrior or anything but I will always stand up for anyone who is feeling suicidal tendencies because no—

As someone who went through that, just, no.

Don’t.

Let’s make 2020 better.

*and here my friends, you went through a good representation of what it is like to be in my brain changing 485858 subjects. Anyway NOW that I let ut out I need to do my assignment. I want to reply back to you insividually bevause texting you all makes me feel warm and happy and i also wanna check on you but i need ti restrore my enrgy (i actually tried texting whdn my mood was low and I think I frightened some people over sudden agression so I’d rather text you wisely than text you randomly), so, see you all soon!

I know it is not just me going through shit in her life. So, know that I’m cheering for you and I am always in for friends bringing best of each other, so if you really read this far go do the thing you procrastinate!! Bud!! Go do it!! It’ll feel better!

What a conclusion tho

#nila stuff #personal

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fatebreaking-a · 5 years ago

Note

☀️

I like how this is literally indecipherable on desktop, so I had to go onto my phone (where it was still indecipherable) and then open it in safari to figure out which one this was.

☀ What’s your rp pet peeve?

It’s this one and not the other one right above it that also looks like a sun.

Emoticons, man.

Well, that was fun and all but- rp pet peeves. Stuff under the cut. Pour one out for the entire community, because I’m about to take a pound of flesh from everyone.

There’s a lot of stuff in here that boils down to just being a good writing partner and all that, trying to advance the action in a natural way, and so on… and I think a lot of it can boil down to either a lack of awareness or a lack of experience. People get better at writing by writing, so I find it hard to really be frustrated and stay frustrated by someone who falls into some of these pitfalls. So you’ll notice I don’t really target things that have to do with writing skill as much as I target ‘attitude’ and ‘conscientiousness’. There is a lot that bothers me though, so here’s a short list.

Criticizing the way other people have fun. This is a big one. What this boils down to is conversations about how “this ship isn’t realistic” or “your ideals on writing are dumb” or “you take writing too seriously/not seriously enough.” I’ve seen all of these. And I used to know someone on a forum-based RP site that would actively go out of her way to criticize that people would include a lot of introspection in scenes that were fast paced. For instance, using poetic language, or talking about how they’re feeling, what the situation was, “he felt like he was up against the tide, that his heart was being torn in two, a cut made deeper with every clash of their blades” - stuff like that. She hated it. And she made sure everyone knew that she did not approve of how much they were writing, because it was ‘not realistic’. And yes, there is definite merit to the claim that people do not have time to introspect about their entire lives and their relationship to their allies and enemies between sword swings... But so what. I don’t think it’s wrong to advocate for shorter, simpler posts with less descriptive text, and to manage in 200 words instead of 600. That’s great. Simplicity has value, being concise is great, ‘brevity is the soul of wit’, whatever. But the problem, the problem was that she would criticize others for writing in a way that they enjoyed. No one got on her case for writing less, but she was so grating on this point that eventually people just did not want to be around her.

It was something I’ve experienced even here. Finding the balance between “writing to improve your ability to write” and “writing just to have fun” are two separate matters. People forget that individuals exist from both camps, and I have known people (multiple) who say ‘this is important to me, I’m growing my skills using RP as a medium’ but fail to empathize and recognize that not everyone has the same viewpoint. Caring about things that make you feel something over technically good and well executed writing does not make you a problem.

And as a big follow up, I find that this is a big issue in life in general. I think that people often forget how much time it took them to learn a certain thing, recognize their own investment, or recognize the disparity between their own idea of ‘common knowledge’ vs actually common knowledge. When I joined the community, I did not know what private, selective, independent, mun, muse, or mutuals meant. For someone who’s brand new, these are terms that can be hard to decipher. And it’s the similar with ships - I think that people forget that not everyone who comes to RP is from a writing background. Some of them may just have enjoyed reading fanfiction, or may have enjoyed their favorite bot lane duo, or they have a main and their partner has a main and they like the aesthetic. So long as it’s not inherently problematic (incest, pedophilia), it’s cruel to degrade someone and call everything that doesn’t make perfect sense a ‘crackship’. Fanart also has a big role to play in this. Do I personally like Sona with Ka/yn, Yas, Sy/las, Jh/in, or Dra/ven? No, I don’t. I don’t, but equally, it’s not right for me to get in someone’s face for liking it. If you love MF/Sona because it’s a fuckin’ sick classic wombo combo bot lane... that’s cool, more power to you. I wish people would ease up and remember to just let people have their fun. There’s a Jh/in that follows me, who politely asked if I shipped it and I said no, and then there was no hard feelings at all. And that is ideal for me. Really.

T h e f t.

And being ultra conscious of it. I am in a very unfortunate circumstance that many of my Sona hcs are very similar to another blog in the space. I found that out by accident, and we reached similar (but also different!) conclusions. But now I am terribly terrified of ever speaking to them, because gods above I want to lift all my duplicates into the air, kiss them, and scream about them... but I don’t want anyone to feel anxious that I’m copying them. It’s also why until about a week ago, I only followed one other Sona blog ever - written by one of my very, very close friends. I never want people to feel like I’m stealing from them, but I also want my duplicates to feel comfortable on my blog! I want them to feel okay about reblogging art of their characters if they like it or talking to me about things... And I’ve put in a lot of effort to be very divergent with my portrayals, but I still ended up in this situation. I won’t name names ( and I really hope that no one bothers that other Sona, because she’s a genuine sweetheart and deserves love and appreciation ), b ut... This is a big issue for me.

And it’s exacerbated by the fact that some people are lazy as fuck and actually just straight up steal ideas. It’s not ‘inspired by’, which I usually take care to do, giving proper credits or speaking about where I got information from or from whom or that it is on some level almost collaborative (because this is a collaborative space where we interact with each other, but that’s another topic). But I mean some people just recklessly steal and because we all have anxiety (TM), the line between coincidence, inspiration, and theft blurs. Understand that on some level, plagarism is an ethical dilemma, and I exist in the camp that says “hey man that’s cool come talk to me” - but I can exist in that camp because I insist on a very divergent interpretation that is almost ‘theft-proof’. I do not think any other Sona blog will ever have this combination of headcanons: “is a construct inspired by a house spirit, made up of one part crashed titan goddess, three parts demons, and each demon is represented by one of the strings of the instrument, which by the way shattered because bad reasons”. But if you’re not me, it’s hard to... stay loose about it.

And it’s hard to not get jealous.

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE. Alright I wrote down a list when I actually got this ask, so let’s run off that. ( Yuki, you fuck, you’re not done? Fuck no I’m not done. ) These next ones are big for me.

MISREPRESENTING YOUR WANTS / YOURSELF

what does that mean, you ask me. It means this. It means pretending to be interested in ideas or interactions, even if you’re not interested. I do not ever want to be in the situation where I am happily chugging along, talking about a dynamic, and then find out that the other person isn’t as interested.

It’s fine to be mellow about it dude. I would rather know that you’re like... just okay on it all. I don’t want you to be polite and ‘spare my feelings’ and force yourself.

I want you to have fun. Have fun. God just have fun, you know? Please. There are a ton of interactions I’m “just okay” with, and I don’t think that’s a bad thing. I can be just okay with stuff and it’s fine. Not everything needs to click instantly but like...

Only showing interest to appeal to me or spare my feelings kinda sucks. It doesn’t last forever. It feels really bad. And eventually when things fall apart, it feels even worse. Like oh you really just did not care that much. Or you didn’t enjoy writing with me? Or what is it? See: jealousy/anxiety. Just be honest.

I think you especially have seen this with me, but I have a penchant for just being sincere and honest about how I feel about things. At least a little bit.

Don’t share things people tell you in confidence.

Fucking duh but it needs to be stated. Sometimes people gotta vent. It happens. And I get that ‘talking behind someone’s back’ is not great, but expressing frustration is a real thing that has real value. And then finding out that those things were shared. If I didn’t bring it up with them myself, I didn’t want them to know. Duh. I’m not talking to be catty but because I’m upset. S h i t. Some of the drama that I’ve seen happen from others doing this (and not to me, but in various cases) was entirely unavoidable. I’ve seen so many variants of this. It’s dumb dude. It’s dumb.

Hard vs Soft statements (Stating opinions as facts)

This is another one that gets me. I come from a world where we write, ‘Sona tries to’ and so on to others. Tumblr as a whole doesn’t seem to conceptually engage with the idea of ‘interrupting actions’ and accepting that interactions are a little malleable. And it in turn reflects how others speak about characters.

I never see, “I think Sona is”, I see “Sona is.” This is such a minor little thing, and I’ve come to accept that it’s part of the culture, but it can be terribly frustrating when others speak about your characters. I often say things like “I see Sona as” or “Because of xyz, Ori/anna would probably-” etc. But that isn’t something that I see here from some people. I know that I do this a lot less these days, in part because I have acclimated to the culture.

Incidentally, there are some joke versions of this that are also frustrating. People can really think they’re being funny, but end up just shutting you out of the conversation entirely when they say ‘No’. I might be a little too sensitive to this though, in that I often disengage from conversations because “it’s not really about my interpretation, so it’s better if I not say anything because it’s not relevant and doesn’t contribute.”

Really, I’m just a weenie baby, but I know when someone’s being rude vs when it’s just my own anxieties. I don’t expect everyone to have unshakable confidence, I also don’t expect that everyone be quivering in their boots. Some people can be really, really dismissive and it’s kind of not so great because it comes along with them otherwise being pretty neat.

Last one: Misrepresentation of data / using a ‘preponderance of evidence’ when there really isn’t that much.

How do I even put this.

CONJECTURE IS NOT FACT.

Phew. Okay that’s done. That right there is a big problem (and in combination with the pet peeve before that, it gets worse.)

Something to understand is that sometimes there is no good reason to pipe up to correct someone. Often, people are having a visceral, gut reaction and it’s very emotional. Criticizing that ignores the intent (that they’re frustrated), so it’s often a good idea to let it be.

But that doesn’t stop me from seeing that facts are poorly stated or misrepresented. The community likes to talk about league so I see it in OOC posts, and I also see claims that are just wrong. They’re misstated, exaggerated, or phrased in such a way that you could accept them - except one fact check will prove otherwise. But again, why get in someone’s face when they’re frustrated?

But this leads to some people feeling ‘complicit acceptance’. Which is in itself another problem that I won’t get into.

I as a person tend to be pretty rigorous. If I see facts and I can check them with a quick google search, I often do - especially League. It’s so easy to check a champion’s win rate or popularity. Other people do not always exercise this rigor.

“Alright fuckface but that’s talking about league and not rp.”

Yeah okay you make a fair and valid point, except for the part where you missed bullet points 2-4. I’m more talking about the general attitude people have but let’s talk specifically more about RP.

There’s content. A lot of content. And most of it is really vague, because that’s how R I O T G A M E S does things. We still can’t get a straight answer on whether Sona’s adopted mom, Lestara, is alive or not. H u h?

And this often leads to us making connections and conclusions based on the limited data we have. We’re extrapolating, taking what we know and trying to figure out something new.

Except when we get a new data set, sometimes our extrapolations don’t work anymore.

Except we just spent three months world building around our guesses ( because that’s what they are)

Oops I’m divergent now.

That happens. A lot. My entire blog was evidence of that, where I made extreme guesses and then accidentally got validated as Demacia went full grimdark. But it even happened last year, when suddenly we gained new information! Mage registration! That’s a thing! And it changes how we perceive things.

And you may be thinking, ‘ok fine but what does that have to do with misrepresentation’ and it has this to do with it. People will make conclusions based on their own view, then solidify these conclusions as ‘fact’.

For example, I wrote a small article on how “magical sight was not a reasonable power to have” and then soon after, Mageseekers appeared. Oops. Oops.

And these extrapolations get treated as though they are really fact. The line between what is ‘real’ and what is ‘assumed’ blurs. The truth is this. Unless it’s directly and unambiguously stated, it’s basically not fact. “But we can conclude-” I know. And then we’ll get new information and that’ll change. Ideas in this fandom are like balloons, you need to tie them down with text evidence or they’ll just float away before you even know it. I can talk about how Sona is a literal genius level intellect all day, and tomorrow I can be proven wrong by one little shift or clarification in the lore. ‘Within months’ - okay how many months? Fifteen months? Three months? Unknown.

And this leads me to preponderance of ‘evidence’. This one is long because it bothers me a bunch.

‘Preponderance of evidence’ (quotes required) is basically the situation in which someone goes and tells me:

“Listen buddy, I have these seven pieces of evidence, so I can reasonably conclude that [x] is true.” And that’s solid conjecture and extrapolation and I accept that.

Except that maybe you seven pieces of evidence aren’t all solid pieces of evidence.

Oh.

Oh no.

And that’s happened. I have seen evidence pieces one, two, four, and six all be good. And pieces three, five, and seven are a stretch at best.

But because they have so many pieces of evidence, it’s hard to critique back. Because they still do have four good pieces of evidence!

But the strength of the conclusion increases with more accurate and valid data points, and if your data points aren’t-

And that’s the rub, basically. Sometimes I see people fit evidence to their conclusion without even realizing it. Some of the most intelligent, rigorous, and well-versed writers on this site I’ve seen do it.

And it sucks.

And it’s a peeve because here’s the truth.

The truth after all this talk is this very important fact.

I don’t say anything about these things to people because I don’t want to ruin anyone’s fun or engagement.

People make mistakes and say many things because they are passionate about what they’re talking about. Often that’s the case. And harmless conjecture misunderstandings are not the end of the world because this is not academia.

except that one time I wrote a writeup on how Aphe/lios isn’t mute but whatever.

And so while I have said all these things and have a lot of these feelings, I also think there’s no point to saying most of them directly to the person that bugs me. What good will it do? To someone who is reacting with their emotions and just wants to get their frustration out, or is speaking passionately about something... Just let it go.

And so often I let it go, even if I disagree. I have an opinion, but I don’t go out and toss it back in your face. I just get mad quietly and grump about it.

And that’s why I end up being a very ‘stay in my lane’ person.

The end.

If you read all the way through this, I’ll give you a cookie tbh. Many cookies. This is almost 3000 words and 7 pages.

#yuhl #ooc #long post tw #//3k words I'm sorry dash.

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d-vient · 5 years ago

Text

THESOULLESSHUNTER: an seven or eight-year journey.

So, I’ve definitively hung up my hunter’s coat. Like, I’m done playing Soulless Sam, for sure. But I did kinda want to take a moment to make a post about some of the highlights of my journey with him. Because my time with him will always be something I’ll remember fondly, even if he kinda went out with a whimper.

My version of Sam started out as pretty much something that came as close to a carbon copy as I could manage. I was always very much dedicated to keeping him tonally consistent to his canon counterpart, but in the beginning it came down to the minute details. It wasn’t until a few years in that he started to kind of develop in his own way, and start to really descend into... a very particular form of madness and insanity.

There were some times when Sam ended up developing rather intimate connections with women. Though sex was pretty much always a factor, some verses and scenarios had him forging different sorts of connections, all with their own distinct differences.

He found a sort of kinship with a girl name Ronnie. The two of them were pretty much torn from the same cloth, and often engaged in a romp or two whenever they were in each other’s vicinity. (Or at the very least, they’d flirt each other’s pants off.) At a point, Sam even wrestled for a brief period over whether he had any sort of special attachment to her, because he had gone through a very brief state of having a soul, despite not wanting it. (It was a magic anon that I actually chose to run with for a little bit.)

He developed a rather intense relationship with a demon who referred to herself as Alexis. And much like most of his pairings, the majority of their relationship was based around sex... but Alexis, I believe, was the first to really explore the idea of having an ongoing relationship with Sam, and actually convey to him that it would be an open one. That they could both fool around as much as they wanted, but they’d always come back to each other. (That didn’t necessarily last too long, but it was still something I thought was interesting. Also, just as an aside, I think the character of Alexis was the one who introduced me to Kate Upton.)

His penchant for preying on younger girls started to really take off when he found a naughty little minx in the form of a girl named Rhiannon. I can’t recall if she was a high school student or college student, but she was definitely in that age range. And she was the first girl that had, on record, driven Sam to the point where he had forced himself on her. And of course, subsequently she’d find herself tormented with a need that kept her coming back to him.

Sam also had a tendency to go a little bit older! Of course, it wasn’t often that it happened, but it certainly happened. I like to think about one affair he had with a woman whose name, I believe, was Eva. She was an upper-class woman, with a distinct taste for the more expensive, refined things in life. That being said, she took a certain shine to Sam because he was so rough around the edges. (And what makes this stick out even more in my memory was the fact that the woman’s FC was Kate Winslet. Now that’s a face you don’t see every day in the RPC. Which is a shame, because she’s damn fine.)

Funnily enough, I found myself dabbling into the wrestling RPC on a few occasions. XD It mainly came from my attraction to the Bella sisters, but I found some other fun dynamics in the form of Sam being played off of the likes of Natalya Neidhart and Paige.

While he wouldn’t take a deep dive into debauchery until much later, I distinctly remember him getting his first taste with a girl named Anna. Anna was another one of those girls that Sam formed a really special sort of relationship with. While they weren’t exactly torn from the same cloth - Sam was a hunter, but Anna was just a regular small-town girl - they definitely sparked a special sort of chemistry. One that ended up leading to Anna exploring a side of her that she didn’t often get to explore with other guys. (One of their first times having sex, I remember that there was a good amount of knife play involved.)

Not too long after Anna, Sam found another girl who... at least at first, looked a lot like her, but interestingly enough, the kind of connection they developed was one that was even more intimate in its own way. They bantered with each other like best friends, had sex that was about as passionate as it could possibly get, and they even came to blows on a few occasions, especially when a certain blond-haired man entered Sam’s life later on. But to the very end, she was always Sam’s Blondie.

I remember there was once a girl named Charlie, that Sam had a really amusing sort of relationship with. It wasn’t Charlie from the show; I don’t even think Charlie existed at that point. But this Charlie was quite literally a petite freak. She was about what you’d expect from someone who had her looks. (Her FC was Lucy Hale.) She was kind of quiet, kind of shy, kind of soft-spoken, maybe with a little bit of an attitude... but she also had a certain masochistic side to her that Sam liked to prey on. And, as always, Sam seemed to bring out a really kinky, twisted side to her.

Speaking of petite freaks with really kinky sides, that brings me to probably one of the most memorable pairings in my whole run. I’m not sure if I can speak for my entire following, but I think I’ve been told at least three times that if there was ever a girl that was perfect for Sam, if there was ever an OTP that involved my version of Sam, it would’ve been with Cassie Cosmos. While Cassie Cosmos was not the first Ariel Winter muse I had played against, she was without a doubt the most distinctive, and the one with the most developed relationship with my Sam. Cassie started out as a girl who made money off of cumming on camera, only to be bribed into Sam’s arms and taken - essentially - into his custody, all for a long ride of wild, frantic sex that got progressively more and more degrading as time went on. It wouldn’t be until the last year or so that there would actually be a change-up in their dynamic. While Sam had already used Cassie in a number of ways by this point, there came a point when she started to develop a rebellious streak and started to fight him more, after a traumatic experience of being roofied and subsequently abused by the man. She even ended up getting away for a bit... but they managed to reunite and reconcile - sort of - before things came to a close on my end.

I also found my love for bimbos and bimbofication through Sam, and managed to play out more than a few scenarios involving them. There was Cora, the blonde he wooed into the bathroom at the bar they were at, before making her walk back out with him completely naked, waving goodbye to everybody like nothing was wrong. There was another Charlie, who was much bustier than the other one I was talking about, and had a hell of a lot more daddy issues. (Which naturally made it easier for Sam to prey on her.) There was Lorelei, a girl who just needed a ride from point A to point B, but then ended up turning herself into a complete whore after Sam put his hands on her. There was Annie who, in some cases was a house maid for Sam, in others a stepdaughter. Whatever role she ended up playing, she was always boobs over brains, and completely infatuated with Sam, no matter how horrible he treated her. There was Maria who, for all of her psychic capabilities, could not fight or move on from Sam even if she wanted to. Sam even got to make a dumb little bitch out of Tifa Lockhart, who was actually my real-life first waifu! So yeah, good times!

I’m listing a bunch of girls right now, but that’s not to say that Sam didn’t have his fair share of male companions. Sure, they paled in comparison to the number of girls Sam fooled around with, but I can say at the very least that I was able to develop at least a few really good bromances. There were hunters like Dex and Laine, the former being a slightly younger man who Sam almost looked to as a protege of sorts, and the latter being an older, more seasoned hunter who shared more than a few hilarious interactions and misadventures with my soulless hunter. (I’ll never forget how Sam tried to talk him into letting him be his wingman, only to find out he was gay.) There were gods and monsters like Iacchos and Ky’lar, with the former bestowing some of his power onto Sam and grooming him to be something of a successor, and the latter coming into possession of his soul and bartering a deal that basically made Sam his lap dog. (Unfortunately, that one didn’t get to be explored as much, but... you know.) And of course, there was... Evan.

Now, Evan DeLaurentis deserves his own bullet-point because... personally for me, what Cassie was for the women’s side of the equation, RP-wise, Evan was for the men’s side. Like, while Sam’s relationship with Laine was definitely a prominent bromance for a while - and make no mistake, I loved that shit - his relationship with Evan tops that in my book because it was more to their dynamic. There was a lot more going on with them. Evan came into Sam’s life because he killed his wife and kid; he came into Sam’s life with the intention of ending it... but that didn’t happen, because they were both essentially equally unstoppable forces. And while they could’ve used that as a shit ton of opportunities to kill each other... they didn’t. Sure, they always had a sneaking suspicion that one would turn on the other. But they had enough respect for each other to be able to work together, even crack a few jokes at each other’s expense. (Gen probably played some role in bridging that gap, though. She was Sam’s Blondie, but she also shared a close relationship with Evan.)

There were some other ships and interactions that I enjoyed playing though, even the ones that didn’t get as much exposure or time to develop for one reason or another. Like, if I happened to write with you and you don’t happen to see something relating to you on here? Don’t think it isn’t any less valid or special for not being in this little retrospective post. I love the time Sam and I got to spend with each and every one of you.

Also, with that said, there were times when I found more profound memories and connections in the people I got to write with. The creative muns behind the characters. Some of the friends I’ve made in my time as thesoullesshunter are people I still talk to and keep and touch with today. I’d have to be soulless myself to not have a deep appreciation for that.

// @speakstothedead @notthescarsyoucansee @theraquelwrites @ohnicotine @goodtrble @hellfirebound @superlustersnew52 @tarynitdown @sinfulmuses @unbreakablewidow @miss-claire-v-m @jatamansi @travelerlainewalker @supernaturalchanel @degeneratemaidens @sulkinwrites @queenofhartsxo @anniethesunshine @tokill @saintsandsiinners @utterxdesires @shieldofgod-castiel @whiskcydreams @tenderlylethal @inevitcble @sinfulmuses @beautyveined @notyouraveragesecretary

#ooc #[Sorry for this long ass post.]#[I just felt like reminiscing for a bit.]

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inthedrift · 6 years ago

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More Chaleigh headcannons

Because I’ve been spreading a lot of sad recently so

Who hogs the blanket? - Chuckles, Raleigh doesn't feel the need for the blankets half the time, he grew up in Alaska for gods sake, a blanket in Sydney might just finish him off. Also Chuck gives off the heat of a dying star and is always adamant about wrapping himself around Raleigh's back and causing him to almost expire from heat exhaustion. So it's less Chuck hogging the blanket and more Raleigh fighting to have the thing as far away from him as possible

Who eats the others uneaten pizza crusts? - Rals, he spent 5 years on rations, he doesn't let anything go to waste. Even before that when Richard bailed and Dominique got sick they didn't have a lot of money so every bite of food counted. They get plenty of food now but it's still a hard habit to break if its on a plate in front of him he's not gonna leave it.

Who is more likely to cry over a sad book or movie? - Honestly I think Chuck, like he's this emotionally walled off kid effectively. And he probably didn't get to watch or read a lot of stuff and when he did it will have been engineering books or something. So Raleigh comes along and he had a childhood before the kaiju attacked he was 15 before the world even started ending, he didn't even enlist till he was 17 so like he spent his childhood with films and books. So he picks these films that Chuck missed that he has to see and some of them are sad, like super sad and Chuck has spent so long bottling in any emotion that wasn't anger or smugness and Raleigh makes him feel safe so these films the sort of shock the tears out of him. And at first he's embarrassed but Raleigh is always there always comforting and honestly sometimes it's more beneficial than their mandatory therapy sessions as he feels so much safer crying about a film with Raleigh and just being normal.

Who talks smack while playing video games? - Both of them. Are you kidding me? Raleigh is a middle child like, he probably grew up with a wii, bet you he tried to beat Yancy to death with a wii remote once for blue shelling him (they hurt, my brother broke my finger with one). So like Raleigh was raised on smack talk and video games, but Chuck who no doubt missed out on a lot especially like COD or stuff, is a competitive and contrary little shit. No way is he taking anything lying down, bet you he starts teabagging Rals the first time he kills him even though he has no clue what it is or that it has a name. Also bet you they've fallen out/actually had a physical fight over Mario Party just saying.

Who sings along with the radio? - Raleigh probably, like again he was old enough when the war started. So most songs that come on the radio he will know and he'll take great delight in pissing Chuck off by singing at the top of his voice and out of tune (he can sing in tune, fairly well tbh, but were is the fun in that). Chuck surprises him though, like ok he doesn't know any of the modern stuff but he knows like everything 80's and some vague 90s stuff and Raleigh is kinda shooketh, and the kid is adorable when he knows a song on the radio and he just can't help himself singing along, (Raleigh won't say it outloud but he's not a great singer, but he loves Chuck's voice so he couldn't give a shit) also and Chuck would kill Raleigh if anyone else ever found out but Chuck knows musicals. Like he doesn't know movies but Angela loved musicals and Chuck has a playlist - he listens to it in the shower.

Who would accidentally set the kitchen on fire while cooking? - Chuck. Raleigh had a sick mother, who lets be real he would have had to cook for as Yancy must have been working to bring some money in other than any benefits or sick pay or whatever. So Raleigh is like a super competent cook, maybe he hasn't done it in a while but it's ingrained into him. Chuck on the other hand he hasn't lived anywhere but military bases and shatterdomes since he was 12. Food just kinda appears, like he tips up to the mess hall and there it is. So the first few times it will go as expected the food isn't great, but it's edible like Chuck is too much of a perfectionist to fuck up that badly. But then he'll get a little confident a little bit cocky and will try and do two things at once and before you know it he's put a towel on a burner ring and all the sprinklers go off.

Who would throw the other into a pool? - Raleigh? Again he's a younger sibling, I feel things like that come from either having a sibling or high school shenanigans and seeing as Chuck has experienced neither he just wouldn't consider it. But Raleigh decides it would be fucking hilarious to grab Chuck off the stretcher he's been reading on by the pool bridal style and it takes Chuck a second to react first by dropping his book followed by an "Oi, Ray, fuck do you think you're doing" and before you know it the kid has been dropped in the deep end. Queue all out war, Raleigh still has a tan line in the shape of a dick on his back.

Who shops for groceries? - Raleigh, Chuck comes along and just throws garbage in the cart like he'll 100% see how many snacks he can sneak in there before they get to the check out. If Raleigh sent him alone they would have exactly nothing with any nutritional value.

Who kills the spiders? - Max, Raleigh is scared of them like not to the point where he'd die if stuck in a room with one, but he isn't getting close enough to the fucker to kill it. And Chuck well Chuck is deathly afraid, like would happily just burn the house to the ground and leave kind of afraid. He trained Max to eat spiders, because if there's even one in the room with him he can't sleep, can't focus on anything but where the thing is. Like he's slept in the mess hall a few times to avoid a spider.

Who is the morning/night person? - Raleigh is a golden retriever personified, he's all baby Anna from Frozen "The sky's away so I'm awake", so like it will be 6am and he'll be raring to go and he's not exactly quiet or tactful when he wakes up, and Chuck will be jostled awake and every morning without fail Chuck will have to debate whether he punches Raleigh hard enough in the throat that he passes out. Chuck has learned however that Raleigh will sleep in later if he's well and truly fucked the night before so that's usually his tactic, alternatively if Chuck can wake up long enough to give Raleigh a good blow job he tends to go straight back to sleep, so yeah Chuck is certainly not a morning person and has learnt to use sex or violence as a way to get more sleep.

Who proposes? - Honestly I think it would probably be Chuck, like Raleigh probably wouldn't even consider it. He loves Chuck like with his whole being, but Raleigh's experience of marriage is a father who had a whole other family and bailed on his mom so he's not exactly the sort of person who would consider it the ultimate declaration of love. But Chuck his happy memories were from when his mum and dad were together and it was the three of them and Herc still loves Angela so of course Chuck would see it as a way to show Rals he loves him and Raleigh would be so shocked and awed that Chuck would want to saddle himself with his has been ass and of course Raleigh says yes.

Who forgot to put the cat dog outside before sex? - I mean Raleigh probably as Chuck has experienced that awful feeling of eyes on him during sex only to turn and see Max staring woefully at him from across the room probably way more times than he wants to admit but Raleigh. Raleigh has probably never had a pet and has never had to worry about being watched by anything other than another human which they tend to remove themselves from the situation fairly quickly when they've grasped what's about to happen. So yeah Raleigh would forget and they'd be happily cracking on as it were and Max instead of just watching in that creepy unblinking way that pets tend to have he'd come up and actually lick any part of either body he could reach standing on his hind legs and Raleigh would actually fucking squeak and Chuck would be laughing to hard to focus on much of anything else for a good while. So they don't forget anymore.

Who posts vines of the other doing embarrassing shit? Chuck? Like I can see Raleigh doing more embarrassing shit, like tripping over constantly or just being a fucking dork and Chuck just films it. But Raleigh is 100% the more likely one that if Chuck did trip over or he caught him singing Les Mis or something to post it somewhere. He’s also the one that’s gonna get a bo staff to the head for the trouble but he’d probably only regret it when he’s lying in bed with the lights off because he has a minor concussion and the light makes his head want to explode but at least Chuck is stroking his hair and hasn’t turned them back on so that probably counts as a win.

Who breaks the most phones? Raleigh probably. I see him as being the clumsy one but if Chuck is mad he’s so gonna launch phones at things like walls or people. But I think Chuck accepts that failing and would have a proper case on his phone, Raleigh on the other hand is always adamant that he won’t drop this one cue two weeks later having to admit to Chuck that the screen is in a million pieces and the battery might be leaking as he dropped it off one of the engineering decks.

Who thinks they can do something really well even though they can't? Neither? Like Raleigh isn’t that sort of cocky, he would never think he’s good at something that he isn’t - he knows what he excels at and is perfectly accepting of what he can’t do. And Chuck honestly I think he’s pretty good at a lot of things and he’s far too proud to do something that he’s bad at and wouldn’t be willing to make a fool of himself in front of others. So I think they both know what they can and can’t do

Who is more likely to get kicked out of the bed? Rals 100%. Like he’s an eternal sunshine child, he goes from 0-60 in the blink of an eye and Chuck is not into the whole being awake before a reasonable hour unless a goddamn kaiju is here and about to fuck shit up. So I don’t doubt that if Raleigh is being either too noisy or too handsy before Chuck is either willing to wake up or willing to have morning sex before having a nap then I can bet Raleigh has either been pushed/kicked out of bed forcefully onto the floor, punched somewhere usually the throat or his balls or Chuck has actively tried to smother him either with a pillow or just his own body. That and I’d put money on Raleigh taking great delight in coming back early from being outside maybe just taking max for a wee and putting his cold hands/feet against Chuck’s skin, and Chuck has just removed him not just from the bed but the entire room and left him out in the corridor until he’s ready to get up.

#chaleigh #headcannon #headcanon #raleigh becket #chuck hansen #long post

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quillyfied · 6 years ago

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playing catchup, here’s some thoughts about DCA episode 120, with 121 coming here in a bit.

- I love these fireside episodes, and Satine Phoenix is an excellent person to mediate their discussions; she’s very warm and empathetic and these losers need that desperately

- Strix’s timeline is screwy, as I believe I have discussed on this blog before, but…uh…there’s a particular piece of Strix backstory Holly wrote that if it happened before she went to Baba Yaga…yikes. I don’t want to discuss it in too much detail but Strix would still have been so, so young for this particular piece of trauma, that’s gut-wrenching to think about. All of their childhoods included some form of trauma at a heartbreakingly young age and all of it is hard to think about but wooow.

- Paladin training is no joke, but I wonder how much younger than the others Evelyn was, to have advanced to full paladin status at 22 (probably younger). Given her leg, that’s really hella impressive.

- Relissa and Kagan are TERRIBLE and I can’t wait until we meet them, I am hoping for bloodshed on Diath’s behalf. But now Diath’s question to Paultin during the therapy episode makes more sense—“Was she nice to you?” KILL ME

- Diath’s fond smile and his tone of voice when he says her name after Strix says “so we CAN kill them!”, I’m drowning in my feelings pls help

- Yeah, trying to parse the conversation better, it does sound like Diath was dating both of them. So polyamorous Diath is most likely canon, which is…huge, honestly.

- Just going off of the body language and his facial expressions…that is not Diath’s root fear of cages and enclosed spaces. He probably had that long before Relissa and Kagan got to him. If anything, being imprisoned for a crime he didn’t commit would probably crystalize that fear into a full-on psychosis, if it wasn’t there already

- okay imagining little bitty Evelyn zipping around in her boots makes me SO HAPPY, what a cutie patootie she must’ve been. Her expressed desire to be helpful is also very telling of an active child who felt useless bc she couldn’t get around as well, and I’m sure Father Sunbright capitalized on that desire to be useful to turn her into the self-sacrificing paladin she is (I’m sure to make her self-sacrificing and indebted to him personally, not just Lathander, but I’m bitter about him and hope either he doesn’t get raised or if Telastin tries, he just doesn’t come back…sidenote, I wonder if Chris is worried about too many plot threads out there waving in the wind that he has to braid back together, I’m sure he can do it, but this season is so complex compared to others)

- MORE ABOUT PAULTIN’S CHILDHOOD PLS. NATE. NATE PLS. I know that alcohol-induced amnesia is a huge part of Paultin’s character as an in-game expression of Nate not having much of a backstory for him, but come on, it’s been years XD He probably wouldn’t spill about it just yet, anyway, Diath hasn’t. I’m just grumpy and impatient.

- Aww yeee plot pie

- I feel like Paultin and Sandra having a rental is an important detail in this particular case; it feels like a setup, if this crime family was making a habit out of going into noble houses and Paultin and Sandra’s house was close to one. Maybe Sandra was mixed up in something she shouldn’t have been and Paultin didn’t know about it bc he’d been busy with work before she died, but the face-mangling in particular is suspicious to me. The whole death scenario in general is just brutal, suggesting extreme emotion or senseless bestial mauling (leaning towards the second), but making the face unrecognizable…there’s usually a reason why that happens, and that reason is usually either trying to cover their tracks or body-planting. So what I’m saying is, I’m reserving a shred of suspicion that Sandra might not be dead (actually evil, off doing other things, not sure what the motive would be, we just don’t know enough about her for me to make a clear judgement, but I’ve got my eye on you, Chris). I do not want that to happen at all in the least, for many reasons, but still…hmm.

- Diath’s reticence makes so much more sense now but I’m still a little heartbroken that he doesn’t feel comfortable enough with Strix, at least, to divulge a bit of his childhood to her. Yes I am upset as a viewer that there’s still so much we don’t know (upset AND excited), but after everything the Waffle Crew has been through together, it’s still baffling to me that they have mistrust and uncertainty. But them’s people, I guess, they all have their trauma that they’re carrying around.

- “Please don’t call me Hokage” OMGF JARED

- For real, though, after the clusterbumble Plurio tried to pull with saying Paultin owed him, seeing the real legit 100% authentic Diath express yet more of his devotion to his friend by tracking down people who hurt him deeply in the past has me absolutely sobbing, these stupid boys care about each other so much. Also vengeance!Paultin is kinda terrifying to watch but it’s been a while, it will be interesting to see where his rage takes him this time.

- (Esepcially given the talk he gave Alisanda about rage and revenge and how that hatred never goes away and changes a person for the worse, hoo boy, I hope for their sake that Relissa and Kagan really didn’t kill Sandra)

- EVELYN NO THAT’S NOT HOW YOU CHILDREN. My inner daycare teacher is screaming.

- Nat’s devotion to Diath is a+++++ and I think she in particular is very good for Diath’s development as a person and a leader. Also Anna and Jared using sign language onstage was great, I don’t know if all if it was legit since I don’t know much, but it was still cool to watch.

- Diath needs to go bond with Simon next…especially once next episode finally sinks into him :P (I am pretty sure they let slip to Diath what happened with Simon and the kid during the therapy episode, but the players forgetting details is okay, they’re all human beings with busy lives and insane schedules)

- Paultin acknowledging Evelyn as Simon’s mom is the BEST, I’m just waiting for Simon to call them Mom and Dad out loud now :P

- THROW THAT SHADE, PAULTIN, YOUR SON HAS LEARNED FROM THE BEST. YES DIATH, LET’S DISCUSS HIDING THINGS.

- AGREED, VLAHNYA, THEY SHOULD ABSOLUTELY TALK MORE.

- Squiddly’s mode of breaking the fourth wall without actually breaking the fourth wall is amazing, I’m not sure what to call his in-universe fluidity with the rules of reality but it’s delightful, I’m so upset it is a little weird for Nate to hold entire conversations with himself in a dnd setting

- They need to learn to take care of the kids…and themselves…AND EACH OTHER…I think I feel a whump fic coming on

- All of these poor broken adults need a mental health day where they just do things for themselves, where’s that special episode, Chris Perkins

- little lesson about love~ (once again getting SO CLOSE to someone explaining to Strix about feelings and giving her context for romantic emotions, WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP CHICKENING OUT ON HER, SOMEONE EXPLAIN THIS BEFORE I DIE)

- Paultin’s face-touch to Diath is a masterful little touch of comedy, combining Paultin’s two favorite pastimes: 1. Messing with Diath, and 2. Bringing back random plot elements and using them to greatest effect. I am 99% sure that part of Paultin’s motivation for doing that was planting the idea in Diath to touch someone ELSE’S face :P Or at least, the part of me that knows Paultin ships his friends as much as we do wants to believe that. Jared’s face through the whole thing was killing me.

- Parenting, you guys. PARENTING. BEING RESPONSIBLE ADULTS. Oh gosh they’re going to have to leave Waterdeep at some point (bc I have a suspicion that Dungeon of the Mad Mage is going to be, if not THE last, then one of the last arcs DCA has, IDK how much longer fifth edition is gonna last and how many adventures they can turn out for it?? How often do they update DnD???), which means leaving the kids, which means there’s going to be a goodbye episode and I’m NOT READY.

- Elements of this are bleeding pretty flawlessly into the next episode, whether Chris actually watched the fireside as of streaming 121 or not, so once that post goes up, I’ll be glad to explore more about Simon and why I’m screaming in terror and delight.

#dice camera action #dca spoilers #just some late late thoughts don't mind me

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whittertwitter · 6 years ago

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How I’d fix Kingdom Hearts III.

Bearing in mind that the issues I had with it were mostly story-related, namely: integration of the overarching plot into (some of the) Disney worlds, pacing, characterization, female characters getting sidelined, and threads left dangling. In terms of gameplay, I’d probably just tie Team Attacks and Attraction Flow to MP (or make Attraction Flow location-specific, like Reality Shift in 3D) and Formchanges to Focus, just so the player has to use them more strategically. I’d also make the Riku and Mickey scenes in the Realm of Darkness playable, or at least have more player input than they do.

First of all, I’d change Olympus to Agrabah. They used the first movie in the first game and Return of Jafar in II, so they really should have used King of Thieves in III. Since the whole reason for Sora going to Olympus in the first place (to gain the power of waking) doesn’t come into play until the end of the game anyway, I don’t see it as that big of a change. If you really need a reason for him to go there, I think either learning something from Aladdin as the diamond in the rough or from Genie adapting to being semi-phenomenal, nearly-cosmic could work. Axel will tag along to Agrabah because:

He went there on a lot of missions for the Organization, so he’s familiar with the world and won’t drag them down, plus he could learn a lot from Sora because...

I’ve decided that Axel should struggle to consistently summon his Keyblade, both to mirror Sora’s power of waking thing and to provide the Guardians of Light with incentive to rescue as many Keyblade wielders as possible just in case he doesn’t prove up to snuff.

I think there’s a good character study that could be done between Axel and Cassim, what with them both being charming roguish types who fell in with a bad crowd and struggle with breaking old habits.

I’d also introduce the New Seven Hearts concept here, with Sora and company realizing that Jasmine is no longer a Princess of Heart. From here, Axel’s still struggling, so Yen Sid sends him on a mission to confirm if any of the Princesses of Heart have retained their status; Axel visits Wonderland--or rather, the world Alice is actually from--and Beast’s Castle in cutscenes between worlds in Sora’s first world set, and probably encounters Xaldin in the latter world. (Xaldin replaces Xion as a Nort, because it’s still so weird that he’s got the pointy Nort ears after becoming a Nobody and as a Nobody is obsessed with negative emotions AND needs time to recover after being re-completed, but somehow isn’t a Nort?)

Meanwhile, Kairi isn’t in active Keyblade wielder training yet, but only because she’s at Radiant Garden, where Zexion is focusing on Namine first because it should be easier to untangle just one heart in another than three hearts in another, and Namine’s power over memories would sure come in handy. While she’s there, you could explore her childhood in Radiant Garden. (If her grandmother’s still alive, that’d be a touching reunion!) I’m leaning toward not having her be part of the New Seven Hearts, because going from having a heart of pure light to a normal heart with the capacity for darkness seems more interesting to me. (Aaand now I’m thinking about Master Xehanort taking advantage of that lack of experience with darkness and Norting Kairi instead of killing her. It’d make Sora less likely to fight, which is the opposite of what he wants, but damn it’s so much more compelling than what we got.)

For the first set of worlds, I’m pretty satisfied with how the overarching plot was integrated. However, in Kingdom of Corona, some things aren’t well-explained unless you’ve seen the movie, like Rapunzel suddenly having the crown back. For that one, Heartless/Nobodies could show up when Mother Gothel meets Sora, Donald, and Goofy, and she drops it while running away; Sora could give it back to Rapunzel and mention something about her mother looking for her. Also, I still think Mother Gothel should’ve knocked Marluxia out with the tree branch instead of his Reapers, lol.

Someone on Reddit made the suggestion to move rescuing Aqua and Ven to between the first and second world sets--possibly with fully playable Castle Oblivion/Land of Departure--and I absolutely love the idea. Others pointed out that it couldn’t work because they go to the Keyblade Graveyard after gathering all the Guardians of Light, which is why I suggest having Vanitas reawaken and assume control of Ven as soon as Sora returns Ven’s heart to his body.

Other cutscenes will have to be moved up to this point, including Vexen recruiting Demyx and the latter dropping off the completed Replica, which will now go to Namine while Zexion reverse-engineers one for Roxas. (Or not; Namine’s entire existence is pretty weird, so she might be able to generate her own body after her heart is untangled from Kairi’s, leaving the Replica to Roxas.) Regardless, Namine is now awake and starts work on freeing Roxas and Xion; Axel is now capable of consistently summoning his Keyblade, so he and Kairi start training under Riku and Mickey; Sora and company possibly revisit Twilight Town, just so we can get that first world revisit that was in the first game, II, and 3D; and Aqua recovers from ten years in the Realm of Darkness plus having Ven snatched out from under her nose, then gives Riku and Mickey a hand with training.

Monstropolis won’t change too much, though Sora and company now knowing who Vanitas is and having beef with him will impart a different tone. As for Arendelle...Larxene needs to interact with people besides Sora and company, like trying to bully Anna into giving up on Elsa or taunting Hans and turning him into a Heartless; Sora and company need to go to places besides the North Mountain; and there need to not be random out of place musical numbers. Since the 100 Acre Wood was even more of a minigame hub than usual and didn’t actual adapt the plot of Pooh’s Heffalump Movie, I propose cutting it in favor of a Wreck-It Ralph world, with the arcade being one of Scrooge’s many business ventures in Twilight Town; Xigbar would actually be a great Nort if the world needs one, since going Turbo kinda reminds me of Luxu body-surfing through the ages. (While I’m on the subject, I’d replace Ralph and Stitch with Jack Skellington and Tron, that way Sora has all the party members from past worlds that required a change in appearance as Links; Simba would be obtained in Agrabah, Dream Eaters in Toy Box, Jack Skellington in Monstropolis, and Tron in San Fransokyo, and I’m leaning toward Tron being in his Tron: Legacy form.)

For The Caribbean, its biggest problem comes down to the audience already knowing that the chest of Davy Jones isn’t the box the Organization is looking for, so it feels like a waste of time; Sora and company barely having any impact on the plot doesn’t help. Having them actually interact with characters besides Jack would help. I’d also have Beckett play a larger role and Luxord turn him into a Heartless. I thought it was an odd choice to have Dark Riku show up in San Fransokyo instead of the Riku Replica or Data-Riku and make it seem like he’s time traveling (UGH) from when Ansem possessed him...only to have it be a Replica anyway! So yeah, I’d probably change that to Data-Riku in a Replica to make the Bug Blox from Coded showing up actually matter, and I’d have Vexen supervising him instead of faffing about in The Caribbean.

At this point, Zexion and Namine have finally succeeded in getting Roxas free, but are still working on Xion. However, since they now have seven Guardians of Light, the decision is made to rest up and prepare for the Keyblade War, as in canon. I’m keeping the scene with Axel and Saix before the final battle but cutting out the bit about them becoming apprentices to save their heretofore unknown female friend, because it’s just a blatant retcon; Nomura confirmed in an interview after BBS that they were just ordinary kids who got caught up in the Heartless experiments.

As for the final battle itself, my thoughts are much more scattered as of right now, besides Kairi not getting fridged of course. I like blackosprey’s idea of moving Sora’s little jaunt in The Final World to after the boss rush of Norts but before Scala ad Caelum. Since Xaldin’s taking Xion’s place as a Nort, it’ll be Saix who’s tasked with killing Axel and hesitates; Zexion and Namine get Xion free just in time for her to possess the discarded Replica and make the save. I'd prefer Terranort be re-completed after you defeat Ansem and Xemnas instead of being a Nort from the get-go, or have him around from the get-go instead of Ansem and Xemnas, because him existing at the same time as the Wonder Twins is only possible thanks to time travel bullshit. (Same with Master Xehanort, for that matter, but he’s harder to work around. Unless you have Young Xehanort pulling the strings for most of the game, fight him after Ansem and Xemnas and/or Terranort, and only fight Master Xehanort in Scala ad Caelum?) And if they’re going to bring up Demyx, Luxord, Marluxia, and Larxene’s connection to the mobile game, the least they could do is have dead people close to them besides Strelitzia hanging out in The Final World, giving out exposition tidbits.

Also: I know Nomura said this was just going to be the end of the Xehanort Saga, but I really feel this game should’ve retired Sora as well. Part of the reason the ending left me unsatisfied is because Sora doesn’t get any closure, and I know it’s because they want us to keep buying these games, but if they try, they can easily make us care just as much about a new protagonist. Maybe even, horror of horrors, a female one!

So yeah, those are my thoughts on how to improve KHIII! Several days after I said I’d post them. Maybe before the next ice age, I can work up the motivation to post about my series-wide KH rewrite, lol.

#kingdom hearts #khiii spoilers #kingdom hearts rewrite

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team-free-squiggle · 6 years ago

Photo

And... this is the post!!! My Sides!!! I was inspired by @thatsthat24‘s Sanders Sides series to look a little deeper into myself, and finally put some names to my traits.

Literally.

So, left to right, top to bottom, in order:

Pride

Their name is Rogue (like Rogue One), and yes they chose it themselves. They are very proud of that. Dark red crop top, ripped black skinny jeans, and a short black leather jacket that they usually wear, buuut it’s super hot out. Literally loves to be punk, loves the aesthetic, and always looks good because they have to be proud of themselves.

Lies, Slander, and More Lies

This is my Deceitful Side, also known as Diana (Die-Anna). They kinda love to borrow aesthetics from the Dragon Witch, and has very extremely oh so evil powers. Totally embraces the Slytherin that I am. Is a little too strong sometimes, I’m working on being more honest with myself, okay? Also absolutely has slits in that dress and can run and fight in it ‘cause I am not the type to stand on the sidelines.

Femininity

Since I am a demifluid enby, I do have Sides for my different genders, which is admittedly strange but also weirdly kinda cool (to me). One is my femininity, or Malee (May-lee). Nicknamed May. She is a total girly-girl, but doesn’t hate on anyone who isn’t. Basically a femme lesbian. Super sweet, wears makeup all the time, really works with Pride a lot to try and get me to look good. But she’s not all about looks - super feminist. Also the Mom Friend of the group. Super strong, powerful. To be honest her icon is Lucy from Narnia, so you can tell she is not a weak-willed woman.

Creativity

They are an artist of all types. Their name is Cassie. Started with ballet, went to music, and never stopped trying to draw and write. Still a musician and a writer, getting more and more into crochet recently. They are the source of all inspiration and ideas, and no matter how bad things end up they are always there to persevere. Really wants to fly. Loves the Imagination, ‘cause that’s where they can do anything they want.

Depression

This little shit. She is like. The darkest Side. Annoyingly, she - Dani - is also a part of me. She holds onto all my insecurities, always makes them bigger than they’re out to be. She’s the one that blows things out of proportion and makes my Anxiety kick in. She’s the one that hurts me the most. Also the source of any and all dysphoria, usually shown to me through Pride and/or Anxiety. Like I said. A little shit.

Anxiety

Not too bad, kinda chill. Their name is Judi. Does what depression tells them because Depression is stronger, but overall, kinda relaxed. Unless they send me into a Panic attack because they are so worried about something (usually because it’s because I get stressed out over what I have to do and then they kick in). They are good at keeping me awake. Which is a good thing with everything I have to do.

Masculinity

His name is Mace, and he honestly hasn’t been around much up until the past year. Kinda quiet, shy. But strong. Still there. Really just super chill, wants to sit around enjoying sports and/or geeky things. He comes out when I’m at the gym. He also really comes out when I’m in band, because it is a physical activity. Does like classic rock and some country as well as punk and some other alternative.

Nonbinary

Is honestly a mood. I don’t know how. But they are. This is Charlie, my enby Side. They are just there, kinda in the back, until someone tries to offend someone else, specifically in the LGBTQ+ community. Then they bring the fire and wrath down that the homophobes and transphobes and any other such bigots deserve. They do not stand for someone hurting because of stuff like that. If someone is being racist or homophobic, you better believe that they can and will Fite that person behind a Denny’s at 3 am.

Me!!!!

Hi! It’s me, Angel! zYour resident pansexual demifluid enby. Huge nerd, creative mess, and just someone who does love life a lot. Yeah, I got my issues, but then who the hell doesn’t? Also, I love cats.

Logic

Rarely works tbh. Their name is Laura, and they are usually too busy staring at pretty people to work. They end up blanking out a lot because of this. But they do work sometimes. Like, during school, they’re okay, but if one of the other Sides gets distracted, which happens all the time, Logic just flies out the window. Literally. The above picture is Morality joining them on flying out said window so they can go have a nice day together. I’m also pretty sure my Logic is gay for my Morality.

Morality

Will love you no matter what. Even if you’re a bitch to them, which you shouldn’t be because they are the sweetest thing. Literally just wants to cuddle everyone and everything. Also the Parent Friend, along with my femininity. My Morality’s name is River, because they’re flowy and pretty and yet can destroy everything when they are in the mood. I’ve really been trying to listen to them more, because they do have a super optimistic and pretty cool outlook on life. I am pretty sure they are gay for my Logic.

Now that you’ve met the sides, this is kinda how they match up against each other.

Pride vs. Depression - Depression tries to knock down my self image. Pride tries to keep it up. Pride often can end up being a tool to Depression, though I am working on trying to see through that. Gah, depression is difficult. But I can fight it.

Lies vs. Morality - Honestly, since Morality loves everyone, they get along rather well. It could certainly be worse. Lies aren’t always the villain in my case, after all.

Femininity vs. Masculinity - Honestly, they work together, but since femininity was always at the forefront, it’s been hard on masculinity. I really need to work on accepting all of myself, but you know what? I’m on a rollercoaster that only goes up, my friend. *sorry not sorry I quoted the Fault in Our Stars*

Creativity vs. Logic - Kind of an obvious rivalry here. Fantasy against Reality, and all that. But they work together to create the best kinds of ideas, and they both really help out when I’m trying to make music (due to both the technical and emotive portions of it).

Nonbinary vs. Anxiety - It’s basically the Anxiety of coming out. Like, being nonbinary is still new to me, and it’s really confusing a lot of times. Actually, it’s confusing pretty much all the time. But the Anxiety is really only over being outed, or over whether or not I’m faking it. You know, the usual gender stuff.

But yes, these are my Sides! I hope you at least found this interesting, or something... cause I honestly have no idea anymore.

Let me know what you think (if you want), and I will see you guys later!!!

Tag List

(Sanders Sides)

@astraastro

@madly-handsome

@amber1594

@lie-lie-birdy

@thebaagelboy

@justanotherpurplebutterfly

@ravenclawunicorn1

@ako1209

@princessbelix

@water13girl

@romanasanders

@deathshadowrules

@virgils-jacket

@fandomsofrandom

@cochroachkappa-blog

@zoeyheys

@chipminkle

@6tick6tock6

@maizieandbirds

@panic-at-theeverywhere

@not-my-patton

@cookieturtleart123

@confinesofpersonalknowledge

@generalfandomfabulousness

@thegirlofwolvesandfangs

@toujours-fidele

@light-it-on-fire

@ghostmaster83

(All)

@birdybabybird

@awesomelissawho

@funsizedgremlin

@surviving-an-ocean-of-fandoms

@teacupfulofstarshine

@am-i-heaven-or-am-i-hell

#my sides #not sanders sides #angel arts #original content

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tinkdw · 7 years ago

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You know what I don't get, now that the show is pushing us to believe that angels can feel human feelings only when they are stripped off their grace? Castiel had very human feelings from the very beginning, Gabriel loved his brother, Lucifer is an angry teenager. Cas tells Dean in his very first season that his superiors are afraid that he started feeling Emotions, because those are the doorways to Doubt etc etc. This is all very human. So I don't really buy it.

I had the same discussion with meta writers this weekend and didn’t come to an agreement, it’s an interesting theme that I think they have far further to go on, so watch this space, Dabb is generally pretty good at filling all this stuff in and it’s a clear theme with Cas and Jack rn and now adding Lucifer into the mix and bringing Gabriel back, I’m sure it’ll be addressed.

My personal though is that Angels have been indoctrinated that they don’t feel emotions and it’s part of the whole bureaucratic autocracy controlling brainwashing agenda they’ve been used to for Millenia. That their grace could in part tamper it but not anywhere near as much as they think it does, otherwise as you say this makes no sense re the Angels we do know.

Sometimes I see people making posts like “oh but only this Angel and that Angel showed x theme” and then they list…. nearly ALL the Angels in the show. Like, that’s the point, that nearly ALL the Angels, the ones we like and have a narrative purpose which isn’t to just follow orders for the plot, all have their own mind and motivations, eg Anna, Hannah, Daniel, Inais, Rachel, Gadreel, Abner, Samandriel. The biggest ones being the Archangels. Gabriel / Lucifer’s talk is the embodiment of their own Free Will and emotions like guilt, love, jealousy etc in Hammer of the Gods. Even the “baddie” Angels like Naomi, Uriel, Zachariah etc all show that their motivations were selfish, full of pride and hubris or in Naomi’s case that she thought she was doing the right thing overall. ALL the Angels we meet for more than 30 seconds show emotions throughout the show! They don’t just follow orders blindly with no emotion. That’s just not true.

The alternative to this is that some Angels do feel more than others, which kinda does make sense as some Humans are more emotional than others, fine, but the whole point of the Angels storyline is that it’s leading us to see them as individuals and not a hive mind all the same unfeeling marble statues. The Angels’ endgame is to split from this imposed ideal, rebel and rediscover who they truly are and that is individuals who mostly care about humanity and are positive, kind beings though each with their own motivations and choices to make. They need to rediscover their own free will and not hide behind orders from above.

Hence my whole Cas is the Angels’ Jesus thing as he is their guide and messiah, though not their leader.

Like, that’s been literally the whole Angels storyline since the start!

Angels definitely feel emotion, its just a case of how much is suppressed by the actual grace and how much is suppressed by their being told they shouldn’t feel it. As Angels it’s canon that many (all) Angels we’ve met feel emotion, but it’s true that they feel they can only EXPLORE them as Human (Anna) and they seem to feel more as Human in comparison to as an Angel (Cas) but again how much of that is suppression by the grace such as with taste and how much is suppression due to his sense of duty to not feel, to not partake in things like the Sacred Oath which we have recently learned is a thing, the overriding sense of duty and putting what’s right (or what he was told was right for Millenia anyway, it takes a while to grow out of this) before what he wants, which is his overriding character arc you know?! Like, it all ties in too perfectly to just be coincidence.

My big question is WHY IS THERE A SACRED OATH IF THEY DON’T WANT TO DO IT ANYWAY? (And let’s not forget Balthazar who once he forgot duty went and did whatever the Hell he wanted which included a whole ton of emotionally led stuff that we know Cas doesn’t let himself do unless he’s feeling strongly rebellious (drinking) or Human (sex)).

Like - the age old question of why create a rule if no-one is going to break it anyway?

So yeah, I’m expecting them to address it. I could go on for hours about it but it’s hard to put it across one piece at a time and I don’t want to write a huge master post about it, the TL;DR version is that it’s an ongoing theme that I’m sure is going to get addressed by the end as part of the overall balance of Heaven, Earth and Hell and also as part of Cas’ redemption storyline.

#angels #souls #angel grace #cas is jesus #imo #trying to keep this not argumentative but man this is such a simple topic that really isnt complicated and i dont see any real canon to the #contrary #so its a bit awkward to discuss #i mean yeah i see why theyre continuing the IDEA but its just not that simple at all imo its clearly not the case - see the long list of #emotionally driven angels #throughout the show #it just doesnt make sense as anything but a plot device that got away from them when humanising the characters for drama #or #the fact that its to be addressed

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shui-xi · 7 years ago

Text

you know what i find the gayest song i ever had on my pc? i think it’s ‘glaring dream’ from gravitation. strange thing that it’s a really positive one and i still like it. i keep it since 2002 (in case you had no idea i’ve lived long enough, yes))))

but i love that period and when artists made op’s and ed’s, i say artists but they also do those nowadays, i’m just more indifferent and they don’t touch my heart anymore, i suppose.

i remember how naruto brought me sambomaster “seishun.. something..”, they also have many other great songs. i still have captain straydum, it has a funny title mountain go go XDDD

or back in bleach times i found out for myself music by home made kazoku, happened ages ago, but i still like them. also there was one track by Takacha which i loved, i still follow him on twitter and happy to know he’s still doing music and takes parts in events. or asian kung-fu generation. come on.

for example tracks from macross plus with sharon apple make me remember the time we rented (or someone brought) the cd, but the files were corrupted, so at that time i haven’t seen the full macross plus. i was so affected by the whole thing that i drew sharon on my wallpaper (don’t think i did a bad job, i think i still have the sketch from those times and can dig it out). but it’s nice that music brings some memories!! unlike these times with no unlimited internet i now have seen not one sharon apple)))

also, i don’t own those anymore but i think one of the greatest things ever done with composed music in anime is from ‘nana’. actually, i dislike the anime itself, i suppose many fans had outrages about it never being finished? but the music was great, tsuchiya anna and that other singer, hell my memory is bad. but who can forget ‘rose’? i find they did a great job bringing great music and individuality of both singers that corresponded with characters. but i knew that shoujo isn’t my thing at all ahahaah, i keep up with only few shoujo titles since then.

it’s actually pretty interesting through that to find ppl or when your loved bands do music for anime. like after xxxholic i discovered suga shikao for myself. or with d.gray-man (the first one) i found june, he had few releases and later became a producer. with yamato nadesico shichi henge i discovered kiyoharu, the show i still find awful XDDD but some things from him i listen even to this day.also at the time i listened to 12012 they were asked to do romeo x juliet ed (i doubt you saw but whatever) it was one of their gayest songs ever so not like their music at all, or when gazette fans went into wut when they did an op? for kuroshitsuji. bad memory, bad.

but when it comes to osts yoko kanno is like one of my top fav at all times. her gits compositions and collabs are fantastic, not to mention bebop. damn. if you never saw her live they had when they played bebop music, yo, it’s really fun!! that video is precious. when bebop op tank! played, i never skipped, not even once, because it’s just ageless and i can never get tired of it. just 1,2,3 let’s jam. i usually skip after a while but never with this one. i still think it’s one of the greatest openings of all time. no really, go watch that kanno small concert, or if you have bakabt account just d/l it from there, it’s freeleech. but she did a lot and every show was not the same? right? it’s amazing how different they are, but all are hard to forget.

i think it’s cool when music can bring like the whole spirit of animation to a new level, it’s not something generic, but a unique sound you’ll be able to recognize anytime. remember samurai champloo? loss of nujabes is a great loss to the whole music world, but he made this show sound unique.

with stuff like gits or ergo proxy i realized i also like ambient futuristic stuff. but whenever i mention ergo proxy i always start singing come and saaaaaaaaaaaaaaave meeeeeeeeeeee (you might have seen it in my tags some day XDDD) because that op song by monoral is also ageless.

oh, once again a find thanks to anime - boom boom satellites, because they did xam’d op which has like a really neat title “shut up and explode”, still keep it on my music list, so upbeat. i’m actually going through music and manga folders just to delete stuff i don’t give a slightest damn about to free some space to d/l this show again lollll.

thanks to ookiku furikabutte for example i discovered base ball bear (their vocalist is like never aging too, it seems))) but they’re fun. and the show is still precious. i never found it as upbeat as nowadays sports anime that are like so hype it’s kinda tiring, but it gave a really nice message and i think ppl who missed it should give it a chance.

i’d like to say the same about other artist i discovered thanks to anime, which is mell who performed “red fraction” in black lagoon. but she’s been inactive since ‘13, yet i liked her. and black lagoon itself was a show of its own, so dramatic, i think what i like is that it had many bad stuff happening, no let’s be happy together ending in your average show. i wish they’d do another season of it, since manga is ongoing, even though it’s been through a lot.

Ok, I’ll be going now, since I need to finish some stuff as well. Who actually read this post is precious.

#txt #what is this feeling of nostalgia #long post #personal #don't mind me)))#i haven't even mentioned half of it #i can keep this forever

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honorbourne · 8 years ago

Photo

( bias list? pffft, more like a lame appreciation post! wow, so um, i never really thought i’d reach this far with say’ri?? i remember back in october of last year, i decided merely on a whim to play an obscure character in the fire emblem franchise... especially since i felt like i couldn’t do any other muse justice at the time and the fact i’ve been wanting to be a part of the fandom back while i had been an observer as an oc whom some of you might know by the url of unladylikc.

true, now that i’ve been in it, i do recognize the fact that it is less than perfect, realistically speaking? but all the same, however, it will always hold a precious place in my heart for it is the first fandom i’ve ever really joined and where i met some of the most talented writers that i had the fortune of writing with. anyways, i had always been such an insecure little bean, that more often than not, i would question if i truly belonged here.

by now of course, i kinda know my doubts are unfounded and i want to thank everyone for sticking with me through thick and thin. like i have oftentimes been saying, say’ri is a difficult muse to play, yet you all put up with that, despite my initial portrayal being a shaky one. well, before i start delving into a long winded speech, i think i’m just going to get on with addressing/mentioning cool folks beneath the cut... though do keep in mind i’m just going off by memory here for this list, so forgive me if i forget anyone. )

— FELLOW SHEPHERDS

@quiveringshaft !!

you no doubt probably saw this coming a mile away but omg, you’re so SO important to me. i wouldn’t have been here today if it weren’t for you. while i know we haven’t necessarily interacted ic on here yet, we talk enough ooc and have/had such entertaining interactions between our muses, that for better or for worse, you’ll probably be included in every bias list ever made by me.

if that isn’t enough to prove my undying love for you, as passionate as ten thousand burning suns?? YOU ARE MY OCEAN, MY STARS, MY MOON, the one who has easily been with me ever since the beginning. your wish is always my command cause i honestly strive to make you as happy as you made me. i could honestly look no further than you if i need to vent or release my inner sodium levels, lol, and to be honest, i’m glad you can easily confide in me when annoying things happen to you. it makes me feel important?? and so very proud!

not only that but we have been through a lot together. countless times already, our friendship has been put to the test over rather... unfortunate circumstances, but somehow, we managed to work it out each and every time. that to me says a lot about how strong our bond is! i’m so cheesy, i know.

@trceblade !!

GIDEON. i always feel like i somehow take you for granted?? like, you are just one of the most genuine people i know. not only do you make a point of worrying about me, you also listen to me and make it seem as though my problems are important to you as well. i am not used to being so cared about?? to this day, i am really glad we have met!

your portrayal of robin is just so unique and i love all the ideas you bring up, some of which has developed my say’ri into who she is as a princess, fighter and significant other. plus, we are part of each other’s canon? and it’s honestly sO GREAT. i always look forward to any headcanons you post and though it does take me a bit, i do quite enjoy responding to the threads we are writing.

needless to say, you will always be my m!robin.

@amnesiums / @faithled / @pridesought !!

/coughs ...i know you have other blogs but these are the ones i can only remember at the moment?? forgive me please, otl. we don’t usually talk much except over tags, but man, in case you couldn’t tell, i’m such a big fan of yours, nox!! by now, i’m pretty sure you follow me everywhere and i remember it would make my day each and every time you show up in my activity without fail.

PLUS, i really love how you play your muses and the unique spins you put into them. to this day, i respect you heaps and bounds for making your version of miriel autistic, something that made me feel valid as someone also with autism!!

on top of that... can i say that wow, i’m super gay for your robin?? i’m honestly rooting for this say’ri x f!robin ship to set sail aND IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT. /clenches fist

@of-invisible-ties !!

i first followed you on my oc blog but never really expected you to ALSO follow this one, cause i imagined say’ri happened to be almost as easily forgettable as kellam. BUT OH, how you proved me wrong. never did i have so many threads with someone before and so much fun too.

for a multimuse blog, you had kept me easily engaged and i really admire the fact that you can play a vast array of muses and still keep them in character. I MUST ASK, what is your secret?? lol, jk, jk. not only that, but your au ideas and the other unique ocs you have are such a treat to see on the dash. keep staying awesome please!!

@nakanaai / @apotelesmc / @faeriecrowned / @penitentinq !!

there’s possibly another url of yours i’m forgetting, omg. still, it doesn’t change the fact that i’m eternally grateful i got to roleplay with you, cati?? i love the depth you put into all the muses you play and i’M SUCH A FAN of your content. whether it be with your writing, art, super creative ocs or whatnot.

you also made me feel super welcome in this fandom and though i imagine i must be a pain, you still write starters for me anyway. thank you very much for putting up with me all this time!

— NOTABLE UNITS

( basically everyone i enjoy seeing on the dash and that i look forward to interacting with one of these days if we haven’t yet already. know that i admire you lots and lots! )

@aphoticresidence + @futureastras ll @avecantoraazul ll @royal-botanist + @aim--and--reload + @emblian-remnant ll @zimmercalla + @riivoltella ll @exaltedswordsmaster ll @exduke ll @nesufuratu ll @corvoided + @extollcd ll @lady-ylisse ll @latrocinari + @songeant ll @sozckujin ll @troubadontcha + @solumventi ll @fifthnamed ll @bladesandbushido ll @hanzaiisha + @wclfbeil ll @kazesneedle ll @valianticemage ll @valiantdarkmage ll @wcrlds-strongest ll @wolfsxin ll @litanee ll @bewitchinqs ll @butlerbourne ll @bornxsteward ll @bonyarii ll @arthur-for-justice ll @aethrax ll @aeoelu ll @ofbeastbane ll @trxubadour ll @mitrikos ll @mienakyohaku + @northfaire ll @tacentpennae ll @beastofnohr ll @kageroichi ll @fairfriar ll @grimstalker ll @princepsmarmoreum ll @priestis + @vllagr + all your other blogs ll @ofthelace ll @ofshrinkingviolets ll @izanaisms ll @caligraqueen ll @cadavrc ll @caligraqueen ll @kiniro ll @xshadow-giftx ll @xixisms ll @narxkami ll @divincr ll @divinefate ll @lanskr ll @lady-ylisse ll @exaltstolen ll @sugarstolen ll @laceur ll @heiwanoryu ll @dang-zi ll @xshadow-giftx ll @spareprince ll @sagelyexalt + @nerochoros ll @armsthriift + @farmfaiire + @raiitension ll @voyager-of-chaos ll @youmaggots ll @irafatum ll @gentlexbloom ll @chariotofhoshido ll @fxdingtofoam ll @aeoelu ll @talentedseamstress ll @rcsesthcrns ll @icetribemaiden ll @saishuji ll @nyahahah ll @willbeshot ll @victorums ll @anna-making-a-killing ll @mercperfectixn ll @fellheaven ll @princess--cynthia ll @validus + @swcrdsman ll @valorandgold ll @blessedlancer ll @noblestson ll @rosannesarcher ll @awakenedprince ll @cvlier

#〔 ❛ ♕ ⋮ OUT OF •• ─ 𝓉𝑜𝓎 𝓈𝓌𝑜𝓇𝒹𝓈 〕#〔 ❛ ♕ ⋮ QUEUED •• ─ 𝓊𝓃𝒹𝑒𝓇 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒸𝒽𝑒𝓇𝓇𝓎 𝓉𝓇𝑒𝑒 〕#｡ the mun sayeth ⋮ 🌸 ››#[ yup you guessed it ]#[ it's your resident livi here being gross af ]#[ WARNING for long post and overall cheesiness! ]

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escaperail1 · 7 years ago

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Some NC moms drive an hour away to give birth. Are midwives the answer? | Charlotte Observer

Across rural North Carolina, women face drives of an hour or more for routine prenatal care and they endure long commutes when it’s time to give birth.

Some midwives say that they could provide those women better access to health care if the state would ease restrictions over how they work.

A new survey by The Charlotte Observer and The (Raleigh) News and Observer finds 91 percent of nurse midwives — college-educated, advanced practice nurses — want to be licensed without the requirement that they get approval to practice from a supervising doctor. Nearly half of North Carolina’s 100 counties do not have nurse-midwives and a quarter of the state’s counties don’t have a local OB/GYN doctor.

In western North Carolina, three labor and delivery units run by hospitals have closed in the past five years, leaving fewer options and fewer doctors.

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"It’s nerve-racking sometimes to make sure they get there in time," says nurse-midwife Sally Inglesby-Schaefer, who works in Sylva at Harris Regional Hospital, a Duke LifePoint hospital.

Sally Inglesby-Schaefer

Harris is one of just four hospitals from Asheville to the Tennessee border where women can give birth.

Midwives could help fill the gap of womens health care access, particularly in rural areas, says Suzanne Wertman, president of the American College of Nurse Midwives in North Carolina.

Certified nurse midwives are professionals who deliver babies and provide primary health care for women. Increasingly, women are opting for midwifery care during their pregnancy instead of an OB/GYN doctor. Midwives care for women with low-risk pregnancies and can cost much less than a doctor for prenatal care and delivery.

But, Wertman and other midwifery advocates say, the current requirement that midwives have a supervising doctor is hurting their ability to practice. Midwives aim for the least amount of medical intervention as possible, typically delivering babies without pain killers and artificial induction, and practice on the premise that pregnancy and birth is a natural process, not to be treated like a disease.

Doctor trade groups, though, have pushed back against changing midwife rules and the debate appears to frozen in place at the state legislature.

The survey of North Carolina’s 340 midwives this month also found a majority of respondents think:

A healthy woman giving birth outside a hospital is just as safe as inside a hospital.

Midwives should be allowed to attend home births. (Currently, certified nurse midwives attend home births only if their supervising doctor approves.)

Government agencies should regulate and inspect non-hospital birth centers where midwives deliver babies.

North Carolina is one of just six states that requires nurse midwives to have a supervising doctor and also one of the few that doesn’t license or regulate birth centers outside a hospital. The majority of North Carolina’s nurse midwives work in hospitals.

Midwives face home birth hurdle

Although the supervising doctor requirement doesn’t mean a doctor is always in the room with a midwife, it does mean the midwife is only allowed to attend home births if their doctor approves — which is rare. In some cases, a lay midwife or non-nurse midwife will attend a home birth but this practice is illegal in North Carolina.

Women who want to give birth at home face long odds to find an experienced midwife to help, says Jani Barnes, a mom of two in Raleigh. She delivered both babies at home.

Five years ago, she looked for a midwife for a home birth with her first child.The only midwife she could find ended up being not compatible for her family, she said.

So, during both births, it was just her and her husband in their bedroom while she labored and delivered. Her son and daughter were born healthy babies.

Barnes says she never considered a hospital birth because she wanted to avoid medical intervention with her pregnancy — namely the pressure of induction if she labored too long and constant medical monitoring of her and her baby.

"It can create a lot of unnecessary anxiety which can also stall and prolong labor," she said. "They follow what’s in the textbook but people are not textbooks. It’s kinda silly to think people will fit into this one specific guideline."

Doctors resist changes

Historically, trade groups in North Carolina representing doctors have pushed back against changing midwife rules and these groups contend that lifting the supervising doctor restriction wouldn’t change rural health care access. But, last year, the North Carolina Obstetrical and Gynecological Society relaxed its opposition and said it would support eliminating the supervision rule in favor of "collaboration agreements" between midwives and doctors.

Rep. Nelson Dollar, a Republican from Wake County, said lawmakers are stuck at an impasse as long as the state’s medical establishment wants to maintain restrictions on midwives. He thinks the legislature shouldn’t referee disputes between midwives and doctors.

The N.C. Medical Society, the physicians’ lobby, wants to keep the status quo. The society also opposes midwife-assisted home births.

Democratic Sen. Mike Woodard, a Duke University administrator and one of the members of the Joint Legislative Oversight Committee on Health and Human Services, noted that the state’s doctors run a very powerful lobby, which influences how lawmakers perceive the midwifery issue.

"I have confidence in the work of nurse midwives but I think some of my colleagues don’t," Woodard said.

Lawmakers eye birth center regulation

Soon, legislators could be faced with a new question: Should North Carolina draft new rules for birth centers — the one place outside a hospital where you’re most likely to find a midwife.

The debate was jump-started earlier this year after three infant deaths in six months at Baby+Co in Cary, a non-hospital birth center.

A majority of certified nurse midwives surveyed this month — 73 percent — say they would welcome new North Carolina regulations on birth centers. This is also the preference of the birth center profession,because state licensing brings credibility, opportunity to work with more insurance plans, and public confidence.

But, the midwives want birth centers to be judged differently than hospital-level facilities.

Hospitals handle high-risk pregnancies. Birth centers, on the other hand, screen pregnant women and will not take on expectant mothers who are likely to have complications, those who have previously had a C-section or those who have diseases like diabetes or heart problems.

Most certified nurse midwives who support regulations at birth centers want government officials to follow the guidelines set by their industry’s top accrediting bodies, Wertman said.

Suzanne Wertman

Accreditation groups have helped shape state regulations in other parts of the country. For example, the birth centers say that a state license should not be contingent on having a doctor on site.

If North Carolina moves to regulate birth centers, it would allow for state safety inspections, an avenue for public complaints and investigations and could create new public records of the birth center’s operations and record of violations.

Birth centers are a valuable option for women who have low-risk pregnancies, says Jackie Born, a midwife with more than 20 years of experience. She works at Cape Fear Valley Hospital in Fayetteville. Regulating birth centers through a state health agency is appropriate, she said.

Born’s career in midwifery began after she gave birth to twins in a hospital in 1969. It was a rough experience that involved little consulting with her about her wants and needs and a doctor putting her under medication to induce "twilight sleep," followed by delivery by forceps, she said.

She’s one of the majority of midwives in the survey who believe home births are just as safe for healthy women as hospital births and that midwives are well-qualified to deliver babies without doctor supervision.

"As a midwife, I’m taking care of your family, which is a normal process of humans," she said. "Doctors look at it the opposite way —you’re an accident waiting to happen."

About The Charlotte Observer and The (Raleigh) News and Observer midwives survey:

The survey collected anonymous responses. Some participants agreed to follow-up, on-the-record interviews.

The survey was sent to 334 certified nurse midwives in North Carolina. Eighty-six midwives participated. About 80 percent said they work primarily in hospital settings, which reflects where most midwives work in the state.

Survey participants are some of North Carolina’s most-experienced nurse-midwives. Collectively, they have attended nearly 91,000 births and nearly half of the midwives in the survey have 10 or more years of experience.

Anna Douglas: 704-358-5078, @ADouglasNews

Source Article

The post Some NC moms drive an hour away to give birth. Are midwives the answer? | Charlotte Observer appeared first on ESCAPE RAIL.

Read full post at: http://www.escaperail.com/some-nc-moms-drive-an-hour-away-to-give-birth-are-midwives-the-answer-charlotte-observer/

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samanthasmeyers · 4 years ago

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[Experiment] How AI is Changing the Way We Optimize at Unbounce

When I first encountered A/B testing, I immediately wanted to become the type of marketer who tested everything. The idea sounded fun to me. Like being a mad scientist running experiments to prove when my work was actually “working.”

Turns out though, there’s always a long list of other things to do first… blog posts to write, campaigns to launch, and don’t get me started on the meetings! I’m not alone in this, either. A lot of marketers are just too darned busy to follow up and optimize the stuff they’ve already shipped. According to HubSpot, only 17% of marketers use landing page A/B tests to improve conversion rates.

A small glimpse of my ever-growing to-do list. Ain’t nobody got time for A/B tests.

Sure, running a split test with one or two variants always sounds easy enough. But once you take a closer look at the process, you realize just how complex it can actually be. You need to make sure you have…

The right duration and sample size.

Taken into account any external factors or validity threats.

Learned how to interpret the results correctly, too.

But—while there will always be a time and place for A/B testing—there’s also now an easier and faster way for marketers to optimize. Smart Traffic is a new Unbounce tool that uses the power of AI and machine learning to get you more conversions. Every day, more marketers are using Smart Traffic to “automagically” optimize their landing pages. But whenever we launch anything new, we like to test it out for ourselves to learn alongside you (and keep you up to speed on what to try next).

Here’s what I learned after taking Smart Traffic for a test drive myself…

Shifting Your Mindset to Optimize with AI

I know many marketers are (perhaps) skeptical when it comes to promises of machine learning, artificial intelligence, or magical “easy” buttons that get them better results. But AI is all around us and it’s already changing the way we do marketing. Landing page optimization is just one more area of the job where you no longer need to do everything yourself manually.

Smart Traffic augments your marketing skills and automatically sends visitors to the landing page variant where they’re most likely to convert (based on how similar page visitors have converted before). It makes routing decisions faster than any human ever could (thank you, AI magic), and “learns” which page variant is a perfect match for each different visitor. This ultimately means no more “champion” variants. Instead, you’re free to create multiple different pages to appeal to different groups of visitors and run ‘em all at once.

This is very different from A/B testing and honestly—it can feel kinda weird at first. You’ve got to trust in the machine learning to figure out what works best and what doesn’t. Data scientists call this the “black box” problem: data goes in, decisions come out, but you never really get the full understanding of what happened in between.

Smart Traffic is fundamentally different from A/B Testing. You can learn more about how it works here.

For marketers using Smart Traffic, this means shifting your mindset and starting to think about optimization differently. Unlike A/B testing, you’re not looking for those “aha” moments to apply to your next campaign, or a one-size-fits-all “winning” variant. Instead, you’re looking to discover what works best for different subsets of your audience. This gives you unlimited creativity to try out new marketing ideas, makes it easier and less risky for you to optimize, and gives you an average conversion lift of 30% compared to splitting the traffic evenly across multiple variants. (Woah.)

My Experiment with Smart Traffic

I know all this because I recently experimented with variant creation myself to better understand this new AI optimization mindset. I created 15 variants across two separate landing pages using Smart Traffic to discover…

How easy is it to optimize with an AI-powered optimization tool?

Could I quickly set up the tests in Unbounce while still getting those other to-do’s done?

What kind of conversion lift would I see from just a few hours invested?

I took a little bit of my inspiration from Ms. Frizzle on the Magic School Bus. No, not her haircut, her catchphrase: “Take chances, make mistakes, get messy!”

Oh, so that’s where she got all her good ideas.

Creating 15 Variants in Under Two Hours

The beauty of Smart Traffic is there are no limits to how many variants you can create and it automatically starts optimizing in as few as 50 visits. Just hit the “optimize” button and you’re off to the races. Could it really be that simple?

My guinea pigs for this experiment would be two recent campaigns our marketing team had worked on: the ecommerce lookbook and the SaaS optimization guide. The team had created both of these ebook download pages in Unbounce, but we hadn’t been able to return to them and optimize very much in the months since we published.

The original landing pages would serve as my control variants. (Click to see the full pages.)

Before starting, I consulted with Anna Roginska, Growth Marketer at Unbounce, to get her input on how I should create my variants. She advised:

You can take the ‘spaghetti at the wall’ approach, where you create a bunch of variants and just leave them to Smart Traffic to see what happens. It’s that ‘set it and forget it’ mentality. That’s interesting, but when you look at a bowl of spaghetti… There’s a lot of noodles in there. You won’t necessarily get to explain why something is working or not working.

The other approach is to be more strategic and focused. I think there’s a huge benefit to going in with a plan. Create maybe only five variants and give them each a specific purpose. Then, you can see how they perform and create new iterations for different portions of the audience.

I had two landing pages to work with, so I thought I’d give both approaches a try. But with only a few hours scheduled in my calendar to complete all these variants, I needed to move fast.

The “Spaghetti at the Wall” Approach to Variant Creation

On the ecommerce lookbook page, I wanted to spend less time planning and more time creating. Whereas in A/B testing you need a proper test hypothesis and a careful plan for each variant, Smart Traffic lets you get creative and try out new ideas on the fly. Your variants don’t have to be perfect—they just need to be different enough to appeal to new audience segments.

This meant I didn’t have to make any hard or fast choices about which one element to “test” on the landing page. I could create 15 different variants that varied wildly from one another. Some used different colors, some had different headlines, some completely changed up the layout of the page.

This is something you just can’t do in a traditional A/B test where you’re looking to find a “winner” and understand why it “wins.” I had to remind myself I wasn’t looking for that one variant to rule them all (or for that one variant to bring them all and in the darkness bind them). I was looking to increase the chance of conversion for every single visitor. Certain pages were going to work better for certain audiences, and that was totally fine.

I wondered, though: how many variants would be too many? Would the machine learning recognize that some of these were not anything special and just stop sending traffic to them? And how long would it take to get results? With these questions in mind, I checked back on my first set of tests one month later…

Changing up the background color

Usually, color A/B tests are pretty much a waste of time. You need a lot of data to get accurate results, and most marketers don’t actually end up learning anything useful in the end. (Because color by itself means nothing, it always depends on the context of the page.)

That being said, we know there is some legitimate color theory and certain audience segments respond better to certain colors than others. So I thought it might be interesting to switch up the background on this landing page to see what would happen. And color me surprised—these variants are seeing some pretty dramatically different conversion rates:

Pink background – 12.82%

Green background – 21.43%

White background – 21.74%

Black background – 31.71%

One might start to speculate from these conversion rates that darker backgrounds perform better than the lighter backgrounds. But hold your horses, that’s thinking about this as an A/B test again. Here’s why Jordan Dawe, Senior Data Science Developer at Unbounce, says you should be cautious about drawing any conclusions from the conversion rates…

Smart Traffic is not sending visitors randomly—it’s trying to get the best traffic to the best variant. So in this case, it doesn’t mean that a black background will always convert higher than a pink background. There are likely portions of the audience going to each color that would be doing worse on others. Here’s what you can conclude: the color black is preferred by a portion of the traffic that converts highly.

It’s hard to shake that mindset of looking for a “winner” and trying to figure out “why” something is working. But I was starting to accept that different portions of the audience would always respond better to different variants—this was just the first time I’d been able to use AI to automatically serve up the best version.

Making big (and small) changes to the headline

For the next group of variants, I switched up the H1 in both small and big ways to see what effect that would have on the conversion rate. In some cases, this meant just swapping a single adjective (e.g., “jaw-dropping” for “drool-worthy”). In other cases, I went with a completely new line of copy altogether.

Here’s how the variants stacked up against each other:

See 27 Sales-Ready Ecommerce Landing Pages in Our Ultimate Lookbook – 25.81%

See 27 Stunning Ecommerce Landing Pages in Our Ultimate Lookbook – 25.93%

Get Ready to See 27 Jaw-Dropping Ecommerce Landing Page Examples – 28.13%

Get Serious Inspo for Supercharging Your Ecomm Sales – 35%

See 27 Drool-Worthy Ecommerce Landing Pages in Our Ultimate Lookbook – 40%

Again, each variant yielded a different conversion rate. I wondered if I kept testing different variations of the headlines and found one that performed best, could I deactivate all the other headline variants and just go with the “best” one?

Here’s how Floss Taylor, Data Analyst at Unbounce, responded…

Smart Traffic doesn’t have champion variants. You don’t pick one at the end like you would in an A/B test. Although one variant may appear to be performing poorly, there could be a subset of traffic that it’s ideal for. You’re better off leaving it on long-term so it can work its magic.

Trying out different page layouts and hierarchies

The last set of variants I created messed with the actual structure and hierarchy of the page. I wanted to see if moving things around (or removing sections entirely) would influence the conversion rate. Here’s a sample of some of the experiments…

Removing the Headline – 16.67%

Adding a Double CTA – 21.95%

Moving the Testimonial Up the Page – 27.27%

Nothing too surprising here. And because I had created so many variants, Smart Traffic was taking longer than usual in “Learning Mode” to start giving me a conversion lift. Here’s how Floss Taylor explains it…

Smart Traffic needs approximately 50 visitors to understand which traffic would perform well for each new variant. If you have 15 variants and ~100 visitors per month, you’re going to have a long learning period where Smart Traffic cannot make accurate recommendations. I’d suggest starting off with a lower number of variants, and only adding more once once you have sufficient traffic.

The “Strategic Marketer” Approach

So throwing spaghetti at the wall turned out to be… messy. (New parents beware.) For the SaaS optimization guide page, I wanted to be a bit more strategic. And I actually had a leg up for this one, because Anna Roginska, Growth Marketer at Unbounce, had already started with a Smart Traffic experiment on this page four months ago.

Anna had set up a test between two different variants. One had an image of the ecommerce lookbook as the hero graphic on the page, while the other used the image of conversion expert and author Talia Wolf. Anna says she decided on this second variant because of research she had seen on how photographs of people tend to convert better than products.

I put Talia up front because I knew from other tests I’ve run and research I’ve done. [Photographs of] people tend to convert better. I didn’t know if it would work better in this particular case, but I was able to set up a variant and use Smart Traffic to find out. And it just so happens that the algorithm started sending way more traffic to this variant.

Anna seemed to be onto something, too: her variant was converting at nearly double the rate for a large traffic subset. And while I now know we can’t consider this a “champion” variant like in an A/B test and learn from the results, we could iterate based on her design to target new audience segments.

I created a simple spreadsheet to develop my gameplan. The goal was to create five new versions of the page that would appeal to different visitors based on their attributes:

Reducing the word count to target mobile and “ready to download” visitors

For inspiration on my first variant, I consulted the 2020 Conversion Benchmark Report. The machine learning insights here suggested that SaaS landing pages with lower word counts and easier-to-read copy tend to perform better than their long-winded counterparts.

And while the original version of our download page was easy enough to read, it did have a long, wordy intro with a lot of extra detail. Could I increase our conversion rate for a portion of our audience if just focused on the bare essentials? I was ready to kill some darlings to find out…

Original Long-Form Version – 10%

Low Word Count Version – 21.43%

It seems there’s a segment of our traffic coming to this page who didn’t need to see all that extra info before they decided to fill out the form. I speculated that this variant might also perform better on mobile devices since it would be faster-loading and easier to scroll through. Interesting!

Switching the headline to target different audience segments

Next, I created an additional four page variants to speak to the different pain points and reasons our audience might want to download the guide. (Actually, this is something Talia herself recommends you do in the SaaS optimization guide.) I switched up the headline copy here, as well as some of the supporting text underneath to match. After a month, here’s what the conversion rates look like:

Get Talia’s Guide to Optimize – 19.05%

You Can’t Just Build – 23.08%

Optimization is a Lot of Work – 24%

Not Sure How to Optimize? – 33.33%

Each variant is serving a different segment of the audience, by speaking to the particular reason they want to download the guide most (e.g., maybe they don’t have the time to optimize, or maybe they don’t know how to get started). As Smart Traffic learns more about which variants perform best for which audience segments, we become that much more likely to score a conversion.

What I Learned Running These Smart Traffic Experiments

Smart Traffic absolutely makes optimization easier and faster for marketers who previously never had the time (or experience) to run A/B tests. It took me under two hours to set up and launch these experiments, and we’re already seeing some pretty impressive results just over a month later.

While the ecommerce lookbook page is still optimizing, the SaaS ebook page is showing a 12% lift in conversions compared to evenly splitting traffic among all these variants. And this is after only a month—the algorithm will keep improving to get us even better results over time. (Like a fine wine, or that suspiciously old cheese in my fridge.)

At the same time, I did walk away with a few important lessons learned. If you’re planning to use Smart Traffic to optimize your landing pages, here are some things to keep in mind before you get started:

There are no champion variants – Unlike traditional A/B testing, you won’t be able to point to one landing page variant at the end of your test and call it a winner. The machine learning algorithm automatically routes audiences differently based on their individual attributes, which means you have to be cautious when you’re analyzing the results.

The more variants you create, the longer you’ll wait – While it can be tempting to throw spaghetti at the wall and create dozens of variants for your landing page, this means you’ll also have to wait longer to see what sticks. Try starting out with three to five variations and take a more strategic approach based on research in your industry. (The 2020 Conversion Benchmark Report is a great place to start for some ideas.)

It’s (usually) better to leave low-converting variants active – Because Smart Traffic learns over time and continually improves, you’re typically better off leaving your variants active—even if their conversion rates aren’t all that impressive. The AI takes the risk out of optimization by automatically sending visitors to the page that suits them best. If you turn off variants, you may lose out on some of those conversions altogether.

It can be a lot of fun to get creative with the different page elements and try out new ideas. You just might want to come up with a bit of a plan first and be strategic with your approach. Still, it’s better to experiment and optimize with Smart Traffic (even if you make some mistakes along the way) than to never optimize at all.

(And in case you were worried, yep—I managed to get my to-do list done, too. )

from Marketing https://unbounce.com/marketing-ai/smart-traffic-experiments/ via http://www.rssmix.com/

#Digital Marketing

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roypstickney · 4 years ago

Text

[Experiment] How AI is Changing the Way We Optimize at Unbounce

A small glimpse of my ever-growing to-do list. Ain’t nobody got time for A/B tests.

The right duration and sample size.

Taken into account any external factors or validity threats.

Learned how to interpret the results correctly, too.

Here’s what I learned after taking Smart Traffic for a test drive myself…

Shifting Your Mindset to Optimize with AI

Smart Traffic is fundamentally different from A/B Testing. You can learn more about how it works here.

My Experiment with Smart Traffic

How easy is it to optimize with an AI-powered optimization tool?

Could I quickly set up the tests in Unbounce while still getting those other to-do’s done?

What kind of conversion lift would I see from just a few hours invested?

I took a little bit of my inspiration from Ms. Frizzle on the Magic School Bus. No, not her haircut, her catchphrase: “Take chances, make mistakes, get messy!”

Oh, so that’s where she got all her good ideas.

Creating 15 Variants in Under Two Hours

The original landing pages would serve as my control variants. (Click to see the full pages.)

Before starting, I consulted with Anna Roginska, Growth Marketer at Unbounce, to get her input on how I should create my variants. She advised:

I had two landing pages to work with, so I thought I’d give both approaches a try. But with only a few hours scheduled in my calendar to complete all these variants, I needed to move fast.

The “Spaghetti at the Wall” Approach to Variant Creation

Changing up the background color

Pink background – 12.82%

Green background – 21.43%

White background – 21.74%

Black background – 31.71%

Making big (and small) changes to the headline

Here’s how the variants stacked up against each other:

See 27 Sales-Ready Ecommerce Landing Pages in Our Ultimate Lookbook – 25.81%

See 27 Stunning Ecommerce Landing Pages in Our Ultimate Lookbook – 25.93%

Get Ready to See 27 Jaw-Dropping Ecommerce Landing Page Examples – 28.13%

Get Serious Inspo for Supercharging Your Ecomm Sales – 35%

See 27 Drool-Worthy Ecommerce Landing Pages in Our Ultimate Lookbook – 40%

Here’s how Floss Taylor, Data Analyst at Unbounce, responded…

Trying out different page layouts and hierarchies

Removing the Headline – 16.67%

Adding a Double CTA – 21.95%

Moving the Testimonial Up the Page – 27.27%

The “Strategic Marketer” Approach

I created a simple spreadsheet to develop my gameplan. The goal was to create five new versions of the page that would appeal to different visitors based on their attributes:

Reducing the word count to target mobile and “ready to download” visitors

Original Long-Form Version – 10%

Low Word Count Version – 21.43%

Switching the headline to target different audience segments

Get Talia’s Guide to Optimize – 19.05%

You Can’t Just Build – 23.08%

Optimization is a Lot of Work – 24%

Not Sure How to Optimize? – 33.33%

What I Learned Running These Smart Traffic Experiments

(And in case you were worried, yep—I managed to get my to-do list done, too. )

0 notes