#(I have been on the last of us kick lately so...)

[annwrites]

trick or treat one-shot collection.

— pairing: jacaerys velaryon x twin!reader

— type: modern!au | (part of a collection)

— summary: jace gives you a pumpkin-spice flavored treat

— word count: 939

— tags: twincest, blowjob, throatpie

— tagging list: @emilynissangtr @aemondwhoresworld @cecestea

Your mom currently has Luke away for the afternoon for horse-riding practice and your dad is at work, while Joffrey is in his room taking a nap.

Meanwhile, you and Jace are lying on opposite ends of the couch, with your feet resting in his lap.

He’s currently massaging one while his other arm is bent behind his head as he idly watches TV.

You roll your head to the side, resting it against a couch cushion, before closing your eyes, feeling drowsy from the boring rugby game Jace has playing.

He glances to you with a raised brow.

He considers for a moment, then grins before tickling your foot.

You groan and try to pull it back to you, but he holds firm.

You half-consider kicking him in the face with your opposite foot, but you know you’d never hurt him.

Well, not since you were little, that is.

He might’ve been your first kiss, but he’d also been your first right-hook.

“Jace, stooop,” you groan, trying to twist away from him, but he only shakes his head, chuckling.

“Make me.”

You roll off the couch then and onto the floor, and Jace stands before settling himself on top of you, digging his fingers into your sides.

You squirm, laughing incessantly in a panic, trying desperately to get away from him. “Stop! Stop! Oh, God, Jace, stop!”

He smiles widely. “What do I get if I do?”

You slip your hands beneath his shirt, sliding them up his warm chest. “I’ll give you a blowjob.”

His movements cease while he stares down at you.

He reaches up, gently smoothing curls away from your face. “I didn’t mean—”

You reach up, cupping his cheek affectionately.

“I want to,” you reply quietly.

“Besides,” you say, sliding your hands lower, your fingertips grazing the waistband of his pants. “We could try those new flavored condoms you got.”

Your eyes flit to his, and you watch as a smile spreads across his pretty lips.

You watch—kneeling in front of him—as Jace rolls a condom onto his erection before gazing down at you.

You take him in your hand, firmly stroking him from base to shaft before sliding the tip of your tongue along the rubber that now covers his cock.

“If you don’t like the taste—”

You shake your head, slightly smiling.

“It tastes just like it,” you say, staring up at him. “Pumpkin spice.”

You ease down along the length of him, and you begin to gently suck.

Jace eases his head back, tangling his fingers in your hair, and he moans quietly.

The two of you don’t typically use condoms when it comes to you giving him oral, but you’d wanted to try these new ones strictly for the novelty aspect.

You stare up at your twin, smiling around him at the sight of him so relaxed.

He’s been rather stressed lately from lacrosse—the Dragons have lost their last two games—so you only want to make him feel better. Rather, help him think of something else for a bit.

Having your mouth wrapped around his throbbing cock should do the trick.

You swirl your tongue around, sucking firmly—practically drooling—before pulling back with a slurp and smiling up at him while you stroke him.

“Does it taste good?” He asks breathily.

You nod.

“You always do,” you reply, swallowing him again.

You delicately fondle his testicles, carefully tugging on them, and Jace lets out a quiet curse, shoving his cock further into your mouth and your throat contracts around him.

You moan, and your eyes flutter closed while you bob your head, quietly sucking before hollowing your cheeks and Jace tangles his fingers in your hair, holding you in-place while he rocks his hips, easing his long cock in and out, in and out…

He sighs your name, followed by ‘I love you’.

You smile happily, mentally returning the sentiment.

You pull back, press a soft kiss to the tip of his cock, then lick the length of him before shoving him back in your warm, wet, awaiting mouth.

It’s a handful of minutes later before Jace’s hips jerk involuntarily and you feel him twitch between your cheeks.

You swallow a mouthful of pumpkin-spice flavored saliva—your spit already dripping from your mouth—before he mutters that he’s close.

You release him and he nearly groans in irritation, thinking that you’re teasing him, before you blink up at him. “Do you want to cum in my mouth?”

He smirks, then nods.

You watch as he slides the condom off and then you ease him back in, getting back to work.

You move your head faster and faster, hollow your cheeks, cup the bottom of his shaft with your tongue—practically gagging yourself on him you want him to cum so badly.

He whimpers your name and his cock strains before twitching, and you ready yourself just in time as Jace shoves himself further down, cumming down your throat with a groan, muttering ‘thank you’ over and over again.

You swallow before releasing him with a ‘pop’, and you smile warmly up at him.

“You’re welcome.”

You both jolt when there’s a quiet knock on Jace’s bedroom door.

“Y/N, can you make me grilled cheese and tomato soup?” Calls Joffrey from the other side.

Jace flops back onto his bed with a sigh of relief.

You stand. “Of course, sweetie. I’ll be right out! Just go watch Disney+ for a bit!”

“Okay.”

You lean over Jace then and press a kiss to his cheek before exiting his room and shutting the door behind you before heading into your own for a quick change of panties.

[giggly-squiggily]

Hi, is Lou. 😊

I saw that requests are open and I didn't really know what to send in, but then I saw that Dabi is one of your favorite lees, so may I ask for lee!Dabi with ler!Shigaraki please? Maybe Dabi has been annoying Tomura all day; not listening, disobeying orders, maybe even sneaking a few pokes here and there himself, so his boss decides to kick him down a notch?

Only if you want to of course! 😅🥰

{REQUESTS ARE CLOSED! This is an older ask!}

Lou! :D Hello friend! I hope you're doing alright :3 God I can't even begin to describe how much I love Lee!Dabi- he is just so fun to WRECK! >:D I gotcha covered, friend!

CW: Swearing, very very light restraints

Cloud 9 (Taglist Peeps):

@myreygn @thatbigbisexual29 @duckymcdoorknob @wolfyeatstacos @baby-tickles2022 @cupcake-spice13 @sarahmaystock5578 @rachi-roo @mochigiggle @chibisstuff @imjusthere07 @sevenincubistolemyheart @riisada @sp1racle @teddyswriting

Shigaraki was on his last nerve.

Dabi was also on his last nerve, doing a little tap dance and thinning it further.

“Gah! Would you cut that OUT?” The pale haired villain snapped when he felt fingers in his ribs, sending shivers up his spine and his phone flying. “Dabi!”

The older man snickered and ran, flying around the corner and out of sight. Things have been rather slow as of late for the League; no new commands came in- forcing the league to “lay low” for a while. 

Shigaraki hated it at first; he never liked having time on his hands. Eventually though, he learned to enjoy it; taking the time to indulge in his small but mighty mobile game collection. Things were..rather nice.

And then Dabi decided peace was never an option for Shigaraki and made him hate time off once more.

“Why that son of a-” His curse filled grumbles faded some as he reached beneath the bar, grabbing his phone. “I’d kill him if I could!”

“Oo, fun! I’ll hide the body.” A new voice startled him so bad he dropped his phone again. Shigaraki twisted to glare daggers as the smirking birdman before him. “It’ll be the perfect crime!”

“What do you want, outsider?”

“Ouch. And after all this time being here with the league.” Hawks put on a pout, rubbing at his chest. His eyes were dancing with laughter though- indicating his true feelings. “I really thought we were becoming a family.”

Shigaraki decided not to entertain that thought. He reached down to get his phone again, but ruby red feathers beat him to it, bringing it up and into his gloved palms. “Dabi really threw you off your game, didn’t he? I’ve never seen you so jumpy?”

“Shut your mouth. I’m not off my game- he’s just an annoying glitch.”

“One you can’t live without?”

“Says the man who’s getting fu-”

“You wanna get him back?” Hawks cut in quickly, leaning in like hermes to Odysseus. Too close- Shigaraki found himself leaning back some in his stool. “He’s been rather annoying to you lately, no? I’m sure your thinking: “What can I do to make him submit to me?”; lucky for you- I know exactly what to do!”

Suspicious, yet intriguing. Shigaraki narrowed his eyes at him in thought. “Why are you telling me this?”

Hawks shrugged, his playful smile never dropping. “I’m feeling generous today. Can’t a guy rat out his boyfriend’s quirks every once and awhile?” He gestured Shigaraki over some, cupping his ear as he whispered.

Shigaraki went from bored to surprised to intrigued. He looked at Hawks when the other pulled back, blinking. “You're kidding.”

Hawks only smiled like the sun as he sashayed off. Before he left completely, he looked back one last time. “By the way- my information doesn’t come free. I’m sure you understand.”

There it was. Shigaraki kept his expression neutral as he reached into his pocket, pulling out a few yen. Feathers gathered it up and brought it to Hawks, the birdman pleased. “This stays between us.”

“Wouldn’t have it any other way.”

~~~

Sitting on the couch now, Shigaraki tapped away at his phone in wait. The trap was set- the plan was perfect. It all came down to timing. He knew his target would be passing through here soon.

Sure enough, he heard the familiar steps of Dabi’s boots as they entered the room, the smell of firewood mixed with smoke touching his nose. He didn’t react- pretending to be completely absorbed in his game. He just had to hang in there.

“Shigaraki~” Dabi called out in a hushed voice, his footsteps getting closer and closer. He waited until those scarred up hands were inches from his waist before he attacked.

“SHIT!” Dabi yelped as he got dragged down over the couch, thrown into an unexpected wrestling match. Thankfully, Shigaraki was wearing his artist gloves, the risk of accidental dusting gone from their minds. Still- that didn’t mean Shigaraki didn’t have the upper hand.

“You son of a-hold still!” Dabi growled as he battled for the top, sputtering when the little bastard threw one of his disembodied hands at him. “Not cool- you can’t just go and throw your dirty mitts at me-”

“Gotcha!” Shigaraki cried as he pinned him, taking advantage of his momentary disgust. “Dirty, huh? I’ll have you know they’re clean and preserved!” He picked up the one he threw, bringing it to Dabi’s pinned wrists. With an unexpected click, he had bound both of the brunette’s wrists together. “Not to mention modified.”

Dabi blinked, flabbergasted. Did this guy really make them restraints? He gave an experimental tug, finding them rather weak. If he wanted to, he could easily break it. Burn it even.

But that would end in all kinds of problems Dabi had zero interest in dealing with. Not to mention Shigaraki looked so proud of his little trap. He might as well sit back and see where this would go. “Oh yeah- you got me good, Shigs. Though if you wanted me tied up, you could have just asked.” He wagged his brows, laughing at the scrunched up expression Shigaraki made in response.

“Gross. I almost regret wasting these on you.” Sitting back on Dabi’s hips, the dust-quirked villain scanned his torso, deciding on where to even start. “Say, Dabi- are you ticklish?”

Dabi’s grin froze, eyes widening some. The parts of his face that were still healthy tinted a rare shade of pink. Shigaraki grinned at this.

Oh damn.

“Shigs, I don’t know who you talked to-” Dabi began, sucking in a breath when Shigaraki’s fingers poked beneath his shirt, right along healthy skin. “Fuck that- I know exactly who you talked to and I’m telling you now, he’s a lying son of a bitch!”

“You’re shaking like a leaf, Dabi. I think he’s telling the truth.” The duster snickered as he curled his fingers, eager to see what would happen. Dabi flinched hard, arms tensing at the hand bounding his wrists as he gritted his teeth.

“Shi-hihigs..”

“Was that a laugh I just heard?”

Dabi tried. He gritted his teeth so hard he was sure he’d bite his tongue. He turned his head away at the devious touches against his skin, flinching and squirming at each ticklish trace. He squeezed his eyes shut in hopes that the feeling would fade and he’d be immune.

Alas- he was cursed with stupidly sensitive Todoroki genetics that always seemed to come alive with tickling.

“Fuhuhuhuhuck!” Dabi yelled out as Shigaraki began to scratch, focusing all his efforts onto the patch of skin around his stomach that always made him scream as a child. “Shihihihihihihit! Fuhuhuhuck you, yohoohohohu dhahahahmn, duhuhuhust buhuhuhunny! Ahehahahahahahhaha gahahhahhahd!”

“Dust bunny? Please- like you’ve got any room to talk, matches.” Shigaraki laughed with him, the sound snickery and stupid and full of joy that was unfairly contagious. He carried on scratching at his belly while his other hand pushed up Dabi’s shirt, eager to find more spots to tickle. “Say, are you only ticklish here? What about here?”

“Gheahaha, dhohohon’t you dahahAHAHHARE!” Dabi all but arched when his ribs were attacked, Shigaraki working along healthy skin and tracing where it met the scar tissue. “DOOHOOHN’T FUUUHUHUCKING DOHOHOHO THAHHAHT!”

“Does it tickle that bad?” Shigaraki asked, delighting in the high pitched squeals Dabi let out. He never heard his voice get that high before- it was always so mellow; even when he was mad. “Wow. It’s a good thing you’re not easy to capture- they just have to tickle you and you’d be snitching.”

“LIHIHIKE I’D EHEHHEHEVER DO THAHAHHT! AHEHAHAHHA COOHOHME ON, DUUHUHUHUHSTY MOOHOOHHOVE!” Dabi cackled out, kicking at the couch when Shigaraki began drawing patterns into the strip of skin leading from his upper ribs to his good shoulder. “STHAHAHAP IT’S THEHEHHEHRRIBLE!”

“Boo- and here I was planning out my route for the next big egg hunt.” Shigaraki tsked as he brought his hands back to Dabi’s hips, pressing his thumbs in and making him shoot up. “I can’t let that Abigail woman beat me again. That sunhat belongs to me!”

“Ahehahahahahah! Gheahhahahaha, whhhahahahat ahahhahare you eehheheven- Hiihihihihineahhahhaha, nehehehvermind, quihihihiht ihihihihit!” Dabi swatted at him with his bound wrists, hoping that lightly beating them against Shigaraki would loosen their hold. 

It did not.

“Oh, what's this?” Shigaraki grabbed them and pinned them with ease, shoving Dabi back against the couch while his other hand carried on tickling. “Trying to knock me out with my own hand-trap? Please- I expected more from you, matches.” He gave the other man a pause, watching Dabi’s chest heave as he gasped for air. “I’ll release you, but first you have to promise me you’ll stop being so annoying.”

“Whahahaat? Nohohoho way…heheheeeeh..I’m so bohohohored.” Dabi grinned, digging his grave deeper. “Yoohohu’re funny to mehehess with. You screheham like a schoolgirl when I tickle you.”

Shigaraki fumed, inhaling through his nose dramatically. He stared down a smug Dabi as he reached into his pocket, pulling out his ultimate weapon. Dabi seemed to falter beneath its ruby gleam.

“Shigs, wait- Wait hold on! I didn’t mean it! I didn’t mean it-EHHEHEHEHEHEHAHHAHAHA!” Dabi all but shrieked at the touch. It was just a single red feather, one from Hawk’s wings to be exact. Such a tool would be useless against him normally.

Shove it in his good armpit after he’s already been tickled however and you’ve basically won.

“Are you gonna behave?” Shigaraki growled as Dabi thrashed and guffawed, straining in Shigaraki’s hold. “Are you gonna leave me alone?”

“FIHIIHHINE FIHIHIHINE! SHIHIIHIT SHIHIHIGS STHAHAHAHP!”

“Promise me!”

“I PROHOHOHOMISE!”

“Louder!”

“I PROHOHOMISE! I PROHOHOHOMISE PLEHAHAHAHSE!”

“Hmm…” Shigaraki hummed, giving Dabi one last tickle beneath the arms before pulling his tool back. Dabi gasped for air, wheezing through residue giggles as he melted into the couch. The hand bounding his wrists was removed, and he tucked them beneath his own arms tightly to prevent any more ambushes. “I guess I’ve got you good enough. You can have this back, outsider.”

Whether Hawks was nearby or not, Dabi didn’t know. He watched through blurry eyes as the feather floated in the air, swirling around Shigaraki’s neck before whooshing out of the room. The duster winced and ducked down, rubbing at the skin with a small curse. “Bastard.”

“Pfft- gotcha too, huhuhuh?” Dabi laughed at that, his nerves finally easing as he got comfortable against the cushions. “That’s what you get.”

“Shush.” Shigaraki flicked his nose before sitting back, moving from Dabi’s hips to an actual cushion as he watched the brunette groan. “Why are you being so annoying anyway? Aren’t you the type to disappear when there’s nothing to do?”

His tone was defensive, but the question was genuine. Dabi considered his words as he stretched. “Yeah- usually. I guess I just didn’t feel like it this time.”

“So your solution was to annoy me?” Shigaraki glared. Dabi shrugged, unfazed.

“Yeah, you could say that. You seemed stressed lately. I figured you’d feel better having someone here.” The words made the leader freeze, eyes wide. “What? Can’t a guy care about his buddy from time to time?”

Coming from Dabi, yeah. Shigaraki almost said so but withheld. “Why though?”

The brunette tsked, sitting up and folding his arms across his chest, feet up against the coffee table. “Why does there have to be a reason? When I joined the league, I became your teammate. After some time, I guess I started seeing you as a friend..” His cheeks pinked again as he looked away, suddenly unsure. “I know it’s stupid- we’re all wanted criminals that can die at any given moment. Getting close and all that bullshit is a terrible idea. I just…don’t like seeing you upset.” He looked away completely, his back to Shigaraki as he scratched at his neck. “This is ridiculous. I’ve been hanging around that damn bird too much- he’s making me feel things.”

Shigaraki couldn’t speak- he didn’t have the words. He just stared at him, a nostalgic feeling he couldn’t quite place creeping up his gut and spreading through his chest. He looked at his hands, finding them trembling. He squeezed them shut tightly.

“You’ve got no reason to worry about me like that. I’m your team lead.” He forced the words out, cold and direct. Dabi seemed to relax at them, the usual way Shigaraki spoke. “If I’m upset or stressed, that’s my issue to deal with.”

“Of course.”

“You’re not my personal therapist. I don’t need you to manage my emotions.”

“Got it.”

“But…” Shigaraki paused, not looking at him but rather at the empty space before them. “I don’t mind you considering me a friend. It’s…nice, to know the feeling is mutual.”

Dabi stared, but he didn’t look back. He got up and quickly left the room, pulling out his cracked phone and pulling up his game. It was only when he got far enough away that he let himself smile.

So he had friends here after all.

Thanks for reading!

[puppyeared]

Jitterbug

[cappurrccino]

i was gonna say "i shouldn't have to go to work when my brain feels like a depression slushie" and then i was like "wait but then i'd basically never ever go to work" and i'm actually doubling down on the first part now bc my god how am i supposed to heal my brain from burning out 5 years ago if i can never get an actual break

[hella1975]

just full force threw a shoe at my sister's face and when my mum got me alone after she was like 'you shouldn't clobber her. but i get it' 😭

[soundxofstars-archived]

The normal that Sanji once knew quickly changed with the virus that decided to make an appearance, a virus that was spread through the very thing that he used to make. It was because of specific foods that the world fell apart causing the quiet that surrounded him now, a quiet that he eventually got used to over the passing years. It might have been luck that he didn’t become one of them because of how often his hands dealt with food that once passed through the walls of the Baratie. Was his old man okay? Sanji had no idea on what happened to the people who were apart of his life on a daily basis, he would be lying to himself about missing them. He missed his old man, he missed his friends. 

He just hoped that they were okay wherever they were, he hoped that they weren’t having to deal with wandering around these streets on a daily basis. This was the only place that Sanji could stay to avoid causing panic among the survivors and to protect himself. All because of the secret that rested underneath his left sleeve, all because of the teeth that decided to sink into his arm. 

The blonde didn’t become apart of the never-ending dead that called these streets home, as well. Sanji was somehow immune, were there others like him? A question that he was unable to answer because it was his decision to avoid anyone that was living. He just had to make sure not to do anything reckless because of the lingering dangers that came from both sides, the people could be just as scary sometimes. People that Sanji had grown quickly wary of because of the times that they have crossed his path already, he couldn’t bring himself to trust them especially when they wouldn’t hesitate to pull that trigger. All because of the scar that never was going to disappear, it was always going to be there. 

It was that morning where Sanji found himself sitting on one of the many familiar rooftops that he had a habit of wandering around on, these buildings were thankfully safe. He made sure that they were clear before using them as places to stay throughout the night even though that could change quite easily. He always had to be cautious when wandering through since it most likely wouldn’t be hard for a zombie or any humans to get inside. A small breath escaped from him while he could only watch the streets for now to make sure that it was actually safe to venture out, it was unknown when anyone living or the dead were going to appear. He had to be careful. 

But man, he could really use a cigarette right now. Sanji couldn’t even recall the last time he was actually able to get his hands on one, they were difficult to find unless luck decided to be on his side. 

A small breath escaped from him before a sudden commotion grabbed his attention, the noise would have easily gained the attention of anything nearby. Fingers moved to grab the binoculars that rested against his hip “What the...?” 

[victory-cookies]

I love when I’m kinda already at the end of my rope bc I’m tired from a long day at work dealing with idiots and I come home and ask my dad if I have to make my own dinner and he says that no he’s making it, and then when I come down to eat he has made for each of us half a cheese bun and a salad. Like it’s so stupid but I am so tired and hungry bc I haven’t eaten barely anything today but today has to be the day that he’s like “We need to cut back on our carbs!”

[smallndsoft]

tw: somnophilia

i’ve had to work late for the past few nights and that means i’ve gotten less time with you.

like the last night and the night before that, i get home late again. all the lights are out as i pull my truck into the driveway.

i let out a long sigh as i open the driver door. dragging myself up the driveway, i unlock the door and open it as quietly as i can.

“fucking hell,” i mumble to myself as the screen door squeaks. i’ve been meaning to oil the hinges so it won’t make any noise, but i haven’t had time. maybe tomorrow.

my eyes are somewhat adjusted to the pitch dark house as i drop my keys on the table by the door. i walk down the hallway and into our bedroom.

kicking my shoes off by the doorway, i smile tiredly at your sleeping figure splayed out in bed. the covers are barely on your body, only covering up to your ass.

“thank god you don’t like wearing clothes when you sleep,” i mumble as i strip my shirt and work pants off.

leaving my boxers on, i slip into bed beside you. the bed creaks just a bit but it’s not enough to wake you up. i lean over and press a gentle kiss to the back of your head, inhaling the fresh scent of your shampoo.

you look so peaceful, your bare back and your smooth ass on perfect display. my hand gently traces down your spine and lands just below the curve of your ass.

i grab you, kneading the smooth flesh there. you barely stir from this, only stretching out more for me. almost instinctively.

i had no intentions of doing anything tonight. i’m so damn tired and you’re already fast asleep, but the way you’re spread out for me is an invitation i can’t pass up.

scooting close to you, i throw my right leg over your left, spreading you out just a little more. my hand trails down further, my fingers barely touching your puckered hole before they rest on your cunt.

“oh bunny,” i breathe out, a small smile on my lips. “were you waiting for me?”

you’re dripping wet, indicating that you fell asleep playing with yourself, too tired to finish and too tired to wait for me to help you.

“that’s okay. i’m here now,” i whisper against your skin, my lips tracing against your upper back.

i let a strangled breath out as i slip my boxers off. tossing them carelessly onto the floor, i crawl over you.

“oh fuck,” i moan out. i rub my cock between your ass before i sit back, positioning myself at the entrance of your cunt.

i’m already panting despite not even having entered you yet. i lick my lips and stroke myself a few times before i slowly push into your went cunt.

it’s tight, but the way your sleeping figure is swallowing my cock sends my thoughts spinning. i have to close my eyes despite the darkness.

i keep pushing until i feel my hips pressed against your ass. i stay still for a moment, letting myself take a few deep breaths before i start to slowly thrust.

it’s been days since we’ve fucked but it feels like months. “fuck i’ve missed this, bunny,” i mumble.

i start slow, my grasp on your hips gentle as the soft sounds of my hips hitting your ass fill our bedroom.

after a few more gentle thrusts, i need more. the primal urge to fuck you and fill you is too much.

all at once, my grip on your hips tightens and i start to thrust faster and harder. the sounds of skin on skin becomes louder and more lewd.

a thin layer of sweat forms on my forehead as i use your body for my pleasure.

surprised that you’ve stayed asleep this long, i chuckle softly when you start to shift. i feel your cunt squeezing my cock, signaling that you’re starting to become aware of the situation.

“shhh. you’re okay, bunny,” i whisper as i keep ramming into you.

you don’t bother trying to look back at me as i thrust into your tight hole. burying your face into your pillow, i smile as moans and whimpers spill from your lips.

“need you so bad, baby. i’ve missed you so much,” i pant out.

the tension in my lower belly builds quickly. any other day and i’d be embarrassed that i’m on the verge of cumming. since i’ve not fucked you in days, i feel less embarrassment.

“fuck fuck fuck,” i chant out, my grip on your waist tightening as i get closer to the edge.

“i’m gonna fill you up. gonna take my load like a good bunny, right?” i grunt out.

you just give me a dazed, half-awake nod as you clutch onto your pillow.

the sight is everything i’ve wanted to see these past few days and despite the exhaustion i feel, all that’s on my mind is filling you. breeding you.

“oh fu-uck,” i moan out. in an instant, my body stiffens, my hips flush against you as i feel my orgasm ripple through me. “shit, bunny. take my cum. fuck.”

a shiver rolls through me as i dump the last few drops of my load into you. breathing heavily, i let go of your hips. i keep my cock firmly inside you as i lay on my side, pulling you flush against me.

my cock is twitching inside of you still but i keep lazily thrusting inside you, just wanting to feel as much of your tight heat as i can.

“go back to sleep, bunny. i need to use your little holes a few more times.”

[pomefioredove]

only one bed room

summary: it's the sdc and everyone's staying over at ramshackle but, oh no! you're one room and one bed short. being the generous (or gullible) soul that you are, you agree to share characters: all sdc competitors, separate additional info: fair warning I have no replayed book 5 in a while, reader is yuu, reader is gender neutral, rook is rook, most scenarios end in cuddles. can be interpreted as romantic or platonic (nix vil and rook's part)

Deuce Spade

"I don't mind sleeping on the floor!"

it's a big fat no from Vil. waking up sore and tired is unacceptable, and will affect his performance during practice. he will use the bed, end of story.

you offer to take the floor or one of the many stiff and uncomfortable couches in Ramshackle, but he refuses

what kind of aspiring honor student would he be if he kicked you out of your own room?

so, yes, you end up sharing the bed

he's a perfect gentleman about it

he insists on sleeping on the complete opposite end of the bed

to give you your space, of course

not because he's nervous

obviously it doesn't pan out- he's kind of a messy sleeper, and on the first night you wake up with him sprawled on top of you

you decide not to wake him up

you'd been thinking about saving for a weighted blanket, anyway

Ace Trappola

"you better not hog the blankets,"

takes it like a champ, though he might be screaming internally

he already sleeps in a dorm with three other guys- this can't be any different, right?

it totally is

sharing a bed with someone? someone he likes, who he isn't just forced to live with for convenience?

he's not sure how to tease you about this one without coming off as nervous himself

so he just shuts his trap about it (for once) and accepts his fate

in the end, it's no big deal for a player like him

he ends up hogging the blankets, though. hypocrite.

Kalim al-Asim

"YAYYY SLEEPOVER!"

he means exactly what he says

not a care in the world

all he's thinking about is how fun this is going to be! just him and his favorite Ramshackle prefect (Grim heard the news and will be staying in deuce's room to avoid any cracker mishaps)

Kalim, admittedly, is not a creature of great thought. he tends to be dictated by his feelings, and he can be a little selfish sometimes

so when Jamil pulled him aside and asked him to just buy another bed for ramshackle, he ignored him entirely

why would he do that? the situation is resolved, and everyone's happy!

well... not everyone, but Kalim's happy!

he stocks up on Vil-approved snacks, insists you two braid each other's hair and stay up late into the night talking with no one to remind you to go to sleep

(he tried to invite Jamil and got the door slammed in his face)

this arrangement lasts approximately one night

when Vil sees the dark circles under your eyes, it's over

you are confined to the couch, and Kalim is forced to sleep alone

Jamil Viper

"okay,"

really. he's totally fine with it.

besides the fact that he doesn't want to cause any more trouble, he's shared beds with his siblings before. no big deal

he just wasn't expecting to wake up with you snuggled against him

but this is fine

totally fine

he's barely conscious and it's early morning, still dark, the time he's used to getting up at

Vil has things covered, right? he can stay here for a little while longer. it would be awkward trying to get up without waking you

it feels nice having something all to himself for once

he smirks, imagining how jealous everyone else would be:

the beautiful, kind, intelligent ramshackle prefect in his arms? oh, the looks on their faces would almost make this whole thing worth it!

but in the end, he decides to say nothing

he wants to keep you all to himself, after all

for just a little while longer

Epel Felmier

"ain't no way I'm sharing!"

that's what he says in his head, anyway. but it's late and he's worn out from practice (and being shouted at) so he just sighs and accepts his fate

of course Vil would make him do it. it's probably because he's the smallest, isn't it?

you can tell he's unhappy with the arrangement (not that he's making much of a secret of it- he's grumbling under his breath all evening)

he starts coming around to the idea when he wakes up holding something warm

his heart jumpstarts and he nearly panics before remembering where he is

and then he realizes the thing he's holding is... you. somehow the two of you had ended up spooning during the night

but, more importantly... he's the big spoon!

he's almost tempted to wake you to announce that he, in all his manly glory, had naturally assumed the most masculine cuddling position!

(yes he sounds ridiculous. just let him have this one)

he lets you sleep, though. just a little more won't hurt anyone, right?

he's okay with the arrangement after that

Rook Hunt

"I will do it!"

Vil isn't even able to finish his sentence before the vice housewarden is practically jumping up and down

pretty much everyone breathes a collective sigh of relief; a volunteer! thank the sevens. otherwise, this could get awkward...

of course, he quite intentionally ends up with you in his arms

but not for any nefarious purpose, he insists!

he's a light sleeper, and can be stirred by any sudden noise or movement

you appeared to be having some kind of nightmare

it reminds him of a small animal caught in a trap, struggling for its life. he can't bear to see it- it's cruel to let a poor creature go on suffering before you can make the kill

of course, instead of killing you (thank the sevens), he decides to comfort you

he presses your head against his chest so you can hear his heartbeat, and he runs his fingers through your hair until you calm down.

then he keeps you there, just to be sure you don't have another bad dream

if you gave him permission, he would gladly be all over you in seconds. kissing up and down your shoulders, caressing every perfect inch of your body, whispering words of admiration

but he's perfectly content just cradling you for now

hopefully, you will continue to have these nightmares and give him excuses to do this again

Vil Schoenheit

"don't argue with me,"

initially, you just gave him the bed

maybe you were afraid of him; maybe you like him; maybe you just wanted to avoid a conflict altogether

either way, you spent the first night on the terribly uncomfortable floor, and trudged through Ramshackle like a zombie the next morning

Vil was feeling guilty watching you

what? he's not a monster

and he's a leader, which means he has a responsibility. and you had so graciously invited them all into your home...

fine! he'll share. he insists, even

when you try to argue, he shuts you down, repeating all that stuff about responsibility and hospitality, blah blah

and he doesn't want the team manager dead on their feet

arguing with him is pointless, so you just agree

he wakes up with you against him, sleeping peacefully

now, if it were you clinging to him- he might have had a good chuckle. can't keep your hands to yourself, prefect? I'm just that irresistible?

but the way he's holding you, the way his arms are so tightly wrapped around your waist, the way he's so clearly pressing you against him...

he hates to admit it, but you're an elegant sleeper. it's almost cute

the tension is relieved from your face, your breathing graceful and steady, and your perfect lips open just a sliver...

he is a perfect gentleman, and would never dream of doing anything without your explicit permission, but for one shameful second he thinks about how easy it would be to kiss you

... and then he quickly puts those thoughts aside and tries to get back to sleep

he doesn't want any dark circles, after all

[arolesbianism]

Ok but if we ever get playable Charlie I will be in absolute shambles because you just Know I would rush to read all her quotes and be emotionally destroyed by some mundane shit

[lemonlover1110]

𝐀 𝐃𝐎𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐇𝐔𝐒𝐁𝐀𝐍𝐃

Pairing: Trueform!Sukuna x f!Reader

Summary: Your husband usually calls for you to join him during his bath.

Warnings: MDNI, mentions of Sukuna killing people, rough pregnancy, Sukuna being fluffy (so slightly ooc), reader is mean to Sukuna

Discord +18 - Twitter - Ko-Fi

Ever since you shared the news of your pregnancy with your husband, Sukuna has become more loving. The man who’d talk to you however he wanted, now makes sure to soften his voice when talking to you. He wants to see you every hour of the day, even when you don’t want to see him. Sukuna is seeing how you’re struggling with your pregnancy, and he wants to check up on you constantly.

You’re not too far along that you both know of, yet you’re huge. He grows worried that his selfish want of a child will cause you harm. There’s one person that Sukuna would die for, and it’s you. If something were to happen to you because of himself then he’d– He doesn’t want to think of it.

Lately he’s been asking to take baths with you. At the end of the day, a servant walks into your chambers and informs you, “Lord Sukuna requests for you to join him in his bath, mistress.”

She bows her head to not look at you, scared that she’ll end up like the last servant that dared to look you in the eye. It was Sukuna’s doing because how dare someone look his wife in the eye? You sigh before telling her, “I’ll be there in a second.” 

She stands in the entrance of your room, given orders to not leave without you. Sure, Sukuna requests to see you but it’s an order from him. You don’t have much of an option. 

You follow behind her, and she excuses herself when you’re finally with him. Sukuna lays comfortably in the water, patiently waiting for you to get undressed and join him in the water. He watches as you take off all your garments and walk over to him when you’re completely bare. 

“You need to start leaving me alone, you’re starting to annoy me.” You tell him as you get in the water. Sukuna chuckles, finding it amusing how you’ve completely stopped fearing him. One of his hands caresses you from your breasts to your bump, resting there.

“Now, why are you getting mad at me? I thought you wanted a loving husband?” Sukuna comments, kissing the top of your head. Your hand rests on top of his, lightly squeezing it.

“I wanted one before he got me pregnant. I swear I must be carrying twins– Or the baby also has four arms. I don’t know, I’m just miserable.” You confess, and Sukuna kisses the top of your head again. He really shouldn’t have expected it to be any different. Sukuna’s huge, why would his baby be any different?

“It’s just one and done then?” He asks, and you hum in response. Maybe your answer will be different in a few years, but for now it’s that. He feels a tug on his heartstrings, seeing how much you’re struggling. He’s worried. “Are you holding up okay, though?”

“Not like we could do anything if I wasn’t.” You answer. He’s definitely much softer than your usual husband, and you would’ve loved it if you weren’t carrying a monster child. His hand remains on your stomach, and he feels as his baby kicks while you moan in pain. Sukuna shushes you, feeling as his baby moves.

“I’m trying to feel him! Shut up, woman!” He raises his voice, and you slightly turn to glare at him. A look that would surely kill you if you were anyone else.

“How does me making noise correlate with you feeling the baby! Think, Sukuna! Use your fucking brain.” You’re definitely bolder than usual, which makes him laugh. 

“You’re so beautiful when you’re yelling at me.” He says, grabbing your hand and bringing it up to his lips so he can kiss it. “I love seeing you demanding and mean. It shows the effect I have on you.”

“Really?” You answer, and he hums in response. There’s no better time to bring up what’s been bugging you than now. “I hate that new servant you took in. Kick her out.”

“And why is that?” He asks. 

“She was looking at you funny.” You respond.

“In the sense?”

“She has the hots for you, and I don’t like it.”

“Hmm… What if I was looking for–” He begins and you glare at him. He doesn’t have much of a sense of humor, but he guesses that’s something that’s off limits when he tries to joke. “Don’t you want me to do more?”

“Like what?” You question, even though you should know your husband better than anyone.

“Kill her.” He answers. 

“Hmm… Up to you.” You reply. You lay comfortably on his chest, feeling as his finger traces lazy circles on your belly. You change the topic, “Why do you think it’s a boy?”

“I can’t see myself with a daughter.”

[pin-k-ink]

LONGING ⋆✦⋆ akaashi keiji

synopsis ➸ years of keeping his crush under wraps, and one high school reunion is all it takes for his secret to come out

tags ➸ friends to lovers, mutual pining, teeny tiny bit of angst if you squint hard enough, dry humping, a fuckton of sexual tension, making out, fingering, squirting, unprotected sex, dirty talking, slight asphyxiation

wc ➸ 6.3k

The buzz of your doorbell jolted you from fussing with your hair in front of the mirror. You glanced at the clock and felt a grin tug at your lips - of course Keiji would be precisely on time.

Giving yourself one last satisfied once-over, you hurried to let your best friend in before he could start overthinking that you'd somehow gotten cold feet about attending Fukurodani's reunion together.

As expected, Keiji stood in the hallway looking every bit the suave professional he'd become since graduating - tailored slacks, crisp button-down, and sleek glasses framing those intense eyes that had always captured your attention so thoroughly.

"There you are," he greeted, the barest hint of relief flickering across his handsome features as you gestured him inside quickly. "I was beginning to think you got so caught up with getting gorgeous for the reunion that you'd forgotten all about me entirely."

You snorted as he brushed past you into the apartment, purposefully bumping his shoulder in playful reprimand. "As if I could ever forget my favorite human reminder to be on time for once in my life, Keiji."

He arched one dark brow over the rims of his glasses in that undeniably attractive way you'd always envied. "I seem to recall having to put that skill to use on hundreds of occasions during my years as your saintly upperclassman, [Y/N]."

"Yeah, yeah - keep reminding me why I put up with your nagging all these years," you shot back with a wink, hoping to distract from the way your pulse had already kicked up at his proximity.

Though the casual back-and-forth came easily, you couldn't quite tamp down the rising flutters erupting in your belly lately whenever you found yourself in Keiji's immediate orbit. An ember of long-simmering attraction had steadily been stoked higher over the last few months until immolating pretty much every rational thought and good intention you had whenever he was near.

Not that you'd ever dream of jeopardizing the profound friendship you'd somehow managed to maintain with Akaashi over the years since high school. No, you were an expert at strangling those sorts of misplaced feelings down into submission by now - filing them neatly into the box labeled "pining hopelessly for your gorgeous and completely oblivious best friend."

"Hey, I thought you mentioned needing some help with getting all dolled up properly for tonight's reminiscing," Keiji prompted in a tone you knew all too well. "I'd hate to keep the old coach waiting on my account after you put in such...diligent effort."

You swallowed hard at the sudden weight in his molten regard, feeling heat bloom across your cheeks before you could look away. When Akaashi was in one of his rare teasing moods, those beautiful eyes would blaze with wicked intent that never failed to rob you of rationality entirely.

"R-Right, um...yeah." Unable to meet his heavy-lidded stare for too long, you whirled towards your open bedroom door to grant Keiji an unobstructed view of your entire form. "Thought you could help me get into this stupid dress for real this time? I swear the zipper was made for octopus tentacles or something..."

Without waiting for his confirmation, you padded towards the center of the room before reaching up to loosen the soft terrycloth robe you'd been lounging in while primping. With your back deliberately angled towards Akaashi, you allowed the plush fabric to slither off one bare shoulder teasingly before pooling in a puddle around your bare feet.

Knowing Keiji's gaze was suddenly riveted to your ass - all plump flesh and defined feminine curves left clad in lace - made the muscles of your abdomen tighten further with nervous anticipation. For one endless, delirious beat, you made no move to cover up or retrieve your slinky evening dress from where it lay draped invitingly over the foot of your bed.

Only when you heard the slightest, nearly inaudible intake of breath from behind did you finally turn to face Akaashi with deliberately unhurried movements. His jaw had gone slack slightly, those stunning mercury eyes blown wide at the vision of your unclothed figure before him.

"So...zipper?" you managed to husk out, tilting your chin up in silent challenge.

Keiji's throat bobbed sharply, a muscle in his forearm flexing beneath the crisp fabric of his shirt as he drank you in with naked hunger now radiating off him in waves. Rather than answer you directly, he simply closed the distance between your bodies in a few prowling strides - all leonine grace and banked masculine intensity in that familiar way that punched the air from your lungs.

When Akaashi reached for the sleek material of your dress at last, it was with a tenderness that bordered on reverence entirely at odds with his penetrating stare. He smoothed his palms over the sumptuous fabric with whisper-light caresses before grasping the hem and lifting it over your hips in one slow, luxurious glide until you were engulfed entirely.

As the plunging neckline settled into place, cradling your breasts in an alluring swell of cleavage, you watched a muscle leap in Keiji's tensed jaw. His heavy-lidded regard scorched every newly revealed inch of skin with naked adoration - pupils blown so wide, they swallowed up almost all the silvery irises.

You bit back a whimpering keen as his elegant fingers drifted up your sides, callused whorls skating over hypersensitive nerves until goosebumps erupted in their wake. Then those big, warm palms found the dip of your waist, thumbs kneading into the supple curves of your hips with audible greed.

Only when Akaashi reached the small zipper nestled right above the curve of your backside did he finally break the smoldering silence in a rough, desire-thickened baritone:

"Breathe out for me, beautiful..."

The endearment hit your senses like a battering ram of pure sin - turning your knees to liquid and making your belly swoop with sheer, visceral need. But you obeyed Keiji's gruff command without hesitation, releasing your captured breath in a shuddering exhale.

As your curves softened and yielded, he seized the zipper's pull in those deft fingers and dragged with agonizing leisure. The rasping glide only heightened the delicious friction of fabric sliding snugly into every lush hollow and dip from the base of your spine all the way up to your nape's fragile notch.

Once the zipper teeth finally merged into completion beneath Akaashi's shuddering exhale of masculine approval, his palms clamped down over your shoulder blades in another possessive span. He used that commanding hold to tug you back against the rigid planes of his sculpted chest - every inch of your yielding softness compressed against his relentless, grounding bulk.

"Always so diligent about being on time, aren't you?" Keiji growled out against your nape in that rough rasp that made you shake. "But I still seem to recall the trouble you had following instructions properly..."

His callused fingertips blazed a searing path upwards, sweeping away the tousled tresses at the base of your skull to reveal the vulnerable nape fully. Then hot velvet glided over the sensitized flesh there - Keiji's sinful mouth alternating delicious suction with addictive nips until you arched back against him with a strangled whimper.

"So tonight, I think I'll enjoy being extra thorough about ensuring my good girl receives some...firmer correction in that area, hmm?" he husked out in a voice gone smoky and decadent with promised rapture.

The next glide of his velvet tongue over your thundering pulse punched the air from your lungs entirely. You could only whimper and shudder back against Akaashi's broad chest helplessly as he growled in approval - teeth raking over your sensitized flesh in stinging reprimand before soothing with reverent swipes of his scorching mouth once more.

"K-Keiji..." you stammered out breathlessly, nails raking over his forearms in silent pleading. "We're going to be...ohhhh..."

Whatever feeble protest you'd tried to voice fractured into a broken moan as Akaashi hauled you flush against his body again, hips rolling forward to grind his semi-erect cock between the yielding curves of your ass. Rational thought scattered like ashes as he caged you in the furnace of his embrace completely - all searing heat and covetous possession.

For several heartbeats that seemed to stretch into delirious eternity, you simply surrendered yourself over to the frantic glide of his palms mapping every lush hollow and flare of your quivering figure. Each rasping inhale against the sensitive whorls of your ear brought you crashing higher towards blissful oblivion as Keiji claimed every quaking inch without mercy.

Then, just as abruptly as his onslaught had begun, Akaashi withdrew enough to allow you both to draw trembling gulps of oxygen into your scorched lungs anew. The absence of his grounding bulk against your back made you keen in silent protest, swaying unsteadily despite the steadying bands of his forearms anchored across your lower abdomen in a possessive span.

"Steady, beautiful..." he rumbled out in that velvet purr gone molten and rough around the edges like caskstrength whiskey. "Can't go having my pretty girl feeling too wrecked before we even make it to celebrating with the others properly now, can we?"

You whimpered at his dark chuckle vibrating through your hypersensitized nerves anew like rapturous scripture. Keiji tilted your chin back with purposeful tenderness until your glazed eyes could drink in the undisguised adoration blazing in his quicksilver regard at last.

"Don't worry...we'll have all the time we need for me to give you the proper attention you deserve later tonight," he vowed fervently against your parted lips, that same banked promise to stoke your deepest longings to smoldering resonance. "But for now...I intend to ensure we're both right on time for once."

With a final lingering sip of your gasping exhales, Akaashi tore himself away before your needy whimpers could undo him completely. You already missed his solid tether against your trembling frame as he stalked towards the bedroom door purposefully.

Unable to offer more than a breathless nod, you trailed after his powerful figure, senses still swimming in delicious vertigo. At the threshold, Keiji paused to rake one last smoldering look over your mussed, heaving form that robbed you of breath anew for entirely different reasons now.

Then he curved one palm over the exposed column of your throat, exerting the faintest but utterly thrilling pressure against your thundering pulse point briefly.

"Behave yourself out there, sweet girl." The silken purr rumbled straight through your most secret depths with merciless possession. "Or I can't make any promises about the consequences."

With that husked benediction and one final wicked smirk, Akaashi swept from the room entirely - leaving you swaying and utterly transfixed in the wake of his gravitational pull even now. You spent several eternal seconds drinking in the heady remnants of his cologne and virile presence before finally gathering your scattered wits enough to follow dutifully.

As you fell into step beside him on the short trek towards the gymnasium where the reunion was being held, Keiji maintained his usual casual elegance and unhurried cadence. While you steadily felt the blushing inferno of desire simmering higher between your tangled forms with each measured stride shared - awakened and beckoned towards the rapturous dawn now finally glimmering on the horizon for you both.

By the time Akaashi ushered you inside to the familiar, sweeping arena where so many unforgettable memories had first been made, you could feel the weight of his searing stare prickling over your nerve endings in delicious warning. The charged promise of new indulgences and corrections soon to replace whatever faded imprints of nostalgia this night initially promised now seared into the very fiber of your quivering senses instead.

Before you could even begin acclimating to the buzzing energy of friends and long-unseen faces surrounding you both, a familiar loud voice bellowed your name across the noisy room. Your stomach dropped as a blur of spiky silver hair and solid muscle came barreling directly for your rigid position.

Then, without warning, Bokuto seized you up in his arms in a crushingly tight embrace that lifted you clean off the floor - spinning you both around recklessly before planting a sloppy, exuberant kiss to your cheek.

"Kou, get off her already!" someone scolded through peals of raucous laughter you recognized instantly.

Not even Bokuto's overzealous affection could fully distract you from the heated promise radiating off Keiji's elegant frame, however. Over the cacophony of greetings and riotous jeers, you met his hooded, burning gaze across the crowd of old teammates already swarming to pull the rowdy ace off you once more.

Akaashi remained utterly motionless, poised like some indolent yet ravenous panther drinking in the maddening scene of his most coveted prize being so thoroughly disheveled and discomposed by another's hands. Those striking mercurial eyes drifted over your mussed form hungrily - silently assuring you that no audience or mitigating circumstances would prevent him from prying you back beneath his sole dominion and possession once granted any sliver of opportunity again soon...

The rest of the night devolved into a joyous blur of warm reunions and fond recollections after that. You allowed yourself to be swept up in the infectious energy, bouncing effortlessly between your other senpais and former fellow managers while basking in Akaashi's patient presence always lingering nearby.

At some point, the reminiscing led to a boisterous drinking game where various members of the old team were challenged to see who could recall the most embarrassingly scandalous stories from your shared glory days as Fukurodani's underrated secret weapons behind the scenes.

As more and more playful jabs and teasing anecdotes surfaced, you found yourself flush with nostalgic glee - trading wide grins with Keiji over the festivities despite everything left so deliriously unresolved still simmering between you both.

Until, at the apex of one particularly rowdy set of jeers led by Konoha and Komi, someone blurted out the hushed truth that had been skirted around all night so far in perfect blithe innocence:

"Oh come on, as if any of us could forget how hopelessly gone Akaashi was over our precious little manager back in the day!"

An brief hush descended over the raucous scene punctuated by several muffled giggles and sidelong looks directed straight at your dumbfounded expression. Keiji, seated ramrod straight beside you, stiffened almost imperceptibly - spine going rigid as his jaw tensed around whatever measured response no doubt brimming behind those inscrutable features.

Konoha, seemingly oblivious to the charged tension suddenly permeating those nearest you both, doubled over into another peal of riotous laughter as your eyes went wide.

"Yeah right, like anyone missed the real story behind all that vicious guy-liner and constant hovering Akaashi was slinging towards you each game all year!" He cackled hoarsely, wiping at the tears streaming down his cheeks. "My man here was crazy about our girl from day one, we all saw it..."

The former wing spiker reached over and flicked Keiji's shoulder bracingly, still cackling away as if utterly unaware of the bone-deep unraveling now gripping your senses tighter with every oblivious word flung out. As the others around you both rapidly followed suit - jeering and hurling more confirming anecdotes from their firsthand witness perspective into the echoing silence, you felt your lungs steadily constricting in rising panic.

All this time...through the countless memories replaying in high definition and nostalgia alike...Akaashi had carried the weight of this revelation with him the entire time? Your thundering thoughts scattered in a million dizzying directions as you turned to finally meet his profile in frantic hope of...what, exactly?

But before your questioning gaze could connect with his own, Keiji inhaled one low, shuddering breath. Then he rose from his seat with the same leonine grace you'd always admired and revered beyond measure so many years perviously. The curt clearing of his throat cut through the ruckus as efficiently as any blade while also signalling you to remain seated this time instinctively.

As all gazes swiveled towards his towering silhouette abruptly, Akaashi simply smoothed out the crisp lines of his shirt and pants with careful, unhurried motions. Then he directed that weighted, unreadable stare down at your widened expression - full lips quirking faintly upwards in something resembling rueful wryness you'd so rarely witnessed adorning his features before tonight.

"I trust this concludes the roasting portion of our scheduled nostalgia then, wouldn't you all agree?" He intoned in that rich, unhurried baritone that never failed to make your pulse thunder.

Despite the weight behind his words, Keiji simply arched one brow and waved a dismissive hand as the sheepish laughter died down around you.

"Seriously though, we're long overdue to be heading out," he told the group easily. "I've got an early call time at the office tomorrow and all."

You blinked, shooting him a confused look that Akaashi pointedly ignored in favor of rising smoothly to his feet. Only when he turned his piercing stare your way did you hurry to follow suit instinctively.

"Grab your things, beautiful. No need to stick around and get the full nostalgia roast treatment on my account," he murmured, dipping his chin in a subtle beckoning gesture no one else would've noticed.

Heat lanced straight through your core at his husked endearment and suggestive tone - worlds apart from the casual nonchalance he presented mere moments ago. You swallowed hard against the renewed longing already coiling low in your belly, bobbing your head as you scrambled to gather your purse with hands that definitely didn't tremble whatsoever.

The sly, knowing look Akaashi shot you as you drew flush against his side made it abundantly clear he enjoyed flustering you like this far too much to behave himself properly. As chuckles and farewells echoed around you, Keiji steered you along with one large palm curving over the small of your back possessively.

"Good seeing you boys again," he tossed over his shoulder, somehow managing to sound nonchalant as ever. "We'll have to do this without the nostalgia next time, hm?"

You ducked your head to hide the fierce blush you could already feel heating your cheeks, practically stumbling along under Akaashi's casual guidance. A few rowdy hollers from the rapidly vanishing group drifted after you, laced with teasing insinuation you didn't even try puzzling out under his molten stare.

The trek towards your humble apartment passed in thick silence, every inhale filling your lungs with the rich, spicy scent of Keiji's cologne. Each brush of his unhurried footfalls against yours made the heated tension simmering between your forms amplify tenfold - bristling awareness dancing along your sensitized nerves in delirious promise.

You were so absorbed in monitoring the steadily mounting tension radiating off Akaashi, you startled slightly when you arrived at your front door without realizing it. Brows furrowing, you turned to bid him the usual polite thanks, only for the words to shrivel entirely under the sheer intensity of his pewter stare at such proximity.

Rather than offer any cursory dismissal, Keiji leveled you with a look of naked yearning that felt like having all the air sucked from your lungs in the most dizzying way. He took a measured step closer, boxing you in against the cool wood with the solid brand of his chest - stoking the mounting inferno already pulsing behind your bellybutton higher.

"You gonna invite me inside tonight, pretty?" Akaashi husked out in a voice gone low and rough with undisguised masculine intent. "Or will I finally get to experience what it's like having you turn me away after all these years?"

The blatant, ravenous implication drenching each rumbling syllable made your knees go weak. You remembered Keiji's own admission about harboring long-simmering feelings you'd somehow managed to overlook - the thought that you might have inadvertently rejected his quiet hopes so many times before tonight.

"Keiji, I...I didn't realize..." you stammered out through the rapidly spiraling haze of arousal clouding your thoughts. "That you felt that way back then too..."

Rather than respond, Keiji smoothed his palm along your jaw and tipped your chin up in silent demand. Heat poured into your cheeks anew at his scorching regard sweeping down the vulnerable column of your throat purposefully.

"No need for apologies," he murmured in a thread of gravelly velvet that made you shudder. "You're making up for any lingering regrets of mine in spades tonight, aren't you, pretty girl?"

You whimpered helplessly at the dark promise laced through his rasping benediction, every nerve ending hyper-focused on the molten glide of his touch meandering lower to palm your breast through the thin fabric covering you. Keiji hummed his deep approval as your nipple pebbled responsively beneath his calloused fingertips, hips rocking forward in a slow grind.

"In fact," he rumbled out, pressing you harder against the door as arousal thundered through your joined forms alike. "I can't wait to finally get my hands on unwrapping you properly...the way I should've been the only one to experience back when you were all dolled up in high school too."

Your breath hitched sharply at those rough-edged words, swaying closer into Akaashi's scorching orbit instinctively despite the steel barrier at your back. Any last lingering inhibitions dissolved completely as his full lips ghosted over the thundering pulse at your throat in exquisite prelude.

"So what's it gonna be?" Keiji growled out in a low rasp gone absolutely molten with naked promise. "You gonna let me prove how goddamn crazy I've always been for you, sweetheart? Or am I just gonna have to keep holding myself back from doing all the filthy things I've spent years fantasizing about now?"

Unable to do anything more than shake your head in a jerky negative, you tilted your neck in blatant offering instead. Akaashi snarled his deep approval, crashing his mouth over yours in a searing, demanding glide that robbed what little breath remained in your lungs.

Before you could wind your arms around him properly, Keiji angled you away from the door just far enough to delve his clever fingers beneath the hem of your skirt - palming the lush curves of your ass in a possessive brand as he hoisted your pliant form up against his powerful chest.

"I'm gonna take such good care of you, pretty," he growled in reassurance as you wound your trembling limbs around his sturdy frame instinctively. "Make up for any lingering regret or uncertainty on your part, hm? You're not going to doubt the way I feel about you ever again once I'm through with you...promise."

With one last searing kiss punctuated by his molten growl of possession, Akaashi twisted the front door's handle and strode inside with you anchored in his arms fully. You swallowed hard at the blazing promise etched across his ruggedly handsome features in the low lamp light, heart galloping wildly as something profound threatened to catch fire beneath your thundering ribs.

But the words you wanted to say so desperately to Keiji couldn't break free as he wasted no time in marching you straight towards your bedroom without a single fumble or misstep. As if he'd already scoped out the layout and memorized every detail in advance.

As if he'd already been planning this exact scenario for ages and knew exactly what to expect in his most fevered dreams and wildest fantasies alike.

The knowledge made you shiver as Akaashi set you down atop the rumpled bedsheets you'd barely bothered to straighten earlier, peeling the tight confines of his button-down away with deft movements that sent your pulse skittering faster. You reached for him eagerly, only for Keiji to pin your wrists down against the sheets with a soft chuckle.

"Easy, sweetheart," he chided in a velvet rasp that made you whine softly. "I've been waiting a very long time to finally get my hands on you, remember? There's no rush here..."

He smirked knowingly at the protesting noise that fell from your parted lips, trailing his palms up your flanks languidly to trace the dip of your cleavage. When Keiji tugged the thin straps of your dress aside to bare the flushed mounds of your breasts in a single smooth motion, he hummed his appreciation at the sight.

"I want to enjoy every second of you spread out for me so prettily," Akaashi admitted on a low, rumbling murmur before he grabbed the fat of your hips and flipped you over with deceptive ease. "Let's get rid of all this, shall we? It’s only fair since I was the one who helped you put it on."

Before you could process the shift, Keiji's warm touch slid along the curve of your spine - gathering up the zipper at your lower back and dragging it down excruciatingly slowly. You bit back a moan as the dress pooled around your waist in a shimmering cascade, leaving you bared to his burning gaze once more.

Only this time, the sensation of being utterly at Akaashi's mercy was infinitely more overwhelming than before. You were still reeling from the sudden shift in your reality, trying to grapple with the knowledge that your oldest friend had been harboring these feelings towards you for just as long as you'd done the same towards him.

And yet, you were also keenly aware that the only thing stopping Keiji from devouring you whole and claiming you fully was the last vestiges of his ironclad control. That he was currently restraining himself despite his obvious yearning, waiting for you to voice some sign of hesitation or resistance that would shatter the fragile thread of restraint keeping him from snapping completely.

It made you shiver to think about the untold possibilities awaiting you if you were bold enough to push him past the brink. How far he would go to make you his, to prove his devotion and claim you in a way no other man would ever be able to surpass.

As Akaashi's fingertips brushed against the swell of your ass, the molten realization sank deeper that he was the only one you wanted to push like this. The only person who could break you apart and remake you in the blistering heat of his consuming embrace, over and over again.

"Keiji," you gasped out his name, arching your back in silent supplication as his large hands gripped the fabric pooling around your hips and tugged the garment away entirely. "Please..."

Rather than the teasing rebuke you were expecting, Keiji's breath hitched at the sound of his name tumbling from your lips so desperately. He smoothed his palm down the graceful line of your spine, tracing the dip at the base before trailing along the curve of your ass in a deliberate caress.

"Mmm, I can't get enough of hearing you say my name like that, pretty," he rasped, his thumb sliding against your slick folds and rubbing a torturous circle around the swollen bud of your clit. "You have no idea how hard it was holding back all night...just watching you from the sidelines and not being able to do a damn thing about it."

His other hand curled around the plump mound of your ass, squeezing and massaging the flesh possessively as he sank his fingers into the dripping heat of your pussy with a pleased groan. You jolted as the thick digits pressed deeper, arching your hips back to encourage the delicious pressure.

"But that's just it, isn't it?" Akaashi murmured, leaning over your prone form to press his weight against you - surrounding and trapping you in the best way. "I was the one waiting, while you had no idea what was happening all this time...what a shame, really."

Before you could protest, the hand kneading your ass drifted upwards - gripping the nape of your neck in a firm squeeze, forcing your cheek down against the mattress as you trembled and mewled beneath his punishing grip.

"You could've had me all this time, sweetheart," he growled in your ear, curling his fingers inside your aching core and rubbing against the spongy bundle of nerves he knew would unravel you at the seams. "Had me wrapped around your little finger from day one, didn’t you? All you had to do was ask, pretty. Say the word and I would've fallen to my knees right there and then, just to worship your sweet pussy like the fucking goddess you are."

Your eyes fluttered closed as pleasure coiled tight and molten behind your bellybutton, the friction of Akaashi's skilled touch driving you steadily towards the precipice. Keiji's hot, ragged breaths spilled over your fevered skin as his thumb teased mercilessly at your clit in a way that left you shuddering and panting.

"Fuck," he grunted out, grinding the hard outline of his cock against your thigh as your inner walls clenched around him hungrily. "How many times do you think I jerked off to the thought of this, huh? Wanted nothing more than to fuck you right up against the lockers back in high school...fuck, I almost gave in once."

The admission sent a thrill through your bloodstream, heat flushing higher as your thighs trembled at the sudden onslaught of his rumbled admissions. The thought of him bending you over the cool metal and taking you from behind while the entire team changed around you - the knowledge that he was the only one allowed to do that now - had you moaning shamelessly into the mattress.

Akaashi's deep chuckle reverberated through his chest, pressing harder against your neck as the rhythm of his fingers increased to something borderline punishing. His voice dropped lower, rougher with unmistakable lust that made your nipples tighten even more against the sheets.

"But that was just the beginning, pretty," he husked out, curling his thick digits deeper into the molten heat of your pussy and making you cry out. "You have no idea how often I dreamed about this, how fucking good you'd look stretched around my cock...and now I'm finally gonna get to see for myself."

Your breath hitched, a strangled whine tumbling from your lips as his skilled fingers drove you closer and closer to the edge. But Akaashi knew your body too well by now, and his touch vanished abruptly before you could reach your peak.

The sound of his zipper coming undone and the rustle of his slacks being discarded filled the hazy space between your forms. Before you could so much as twitch, Keiji was rolling his hips forward and dragging the head of his cock against your drenched pussy.

"F-Fuck, I can't wait anymore," he groaned, notching himself between your folds and grinding his rigid length against your dripping entrance. "Need to feel you, sweetheart. Need to see how well you take my cock like the good girl I know you are."

"Yes," you cried out, rocking back into his scorching embrace with a desperate moan. "P-Please, Keiji...I-I need you too. I want to feel you, please."

The guttural noise that tore from Akaashi's throat at your pleading tone made your pulse race, the hand anchoring your neck in place drifting lower to smooth along your back. You were vaguely aware of his other hand reaching between your joined forms, and the slick, obscene sound of him slicking his length with the abundant moisture trickling from your core.

"Good girl," he purred, notching the fat crown of his cock against your dripping folds and sinking the first few inches into your molten core with a satisfied groan. "Hah, shit...fuck, y-you feel so fucking good, pretty."

You could barely string together a coherent thought, let alone a response, as he rocked deeper and deeper into your quivering pussy with every measured thrust. Each time Keiji hilted himself fully inside you, his thick cock stretched and strained the walls of your pussy in a way that made sparks of heat flare behind your tightly-shut eyelids.

"Look at you," he gritted out, fingers digging into your hips and tugging your ass higher into the air. "F-Fuck, taking my cock like a goddamn champ, aren't you?"

You whimpered and writhed beneath him, but his strong grip held you in place. The angle left you utterly defenseless as Akaashi bottomed out and started fucking into you with deep, languid strokes - each one punctuated with a filthy, wet slap that made the pressure mounting inside your core even more unbearable.

"Ngh, K-Keiji..." you moaned, clutching the bedsheets desperately and biting back another cry as he leaned over your pliant form to curl a hand around your jaw. "S-So good, fuck...please."

His low chuckle reverberated through his sturdy form, the rhythmic drag of his cock driving deeper as he panted hotly against the curve of your ear. You gasped, shuddering as his free hand wound around the delicate column of your throat in a light squeeze, his other hand braced on the mattress.

"Please what, pretty?" he husked out, a ragged grunt tearing free as his thrusts quickened in intensity. "Tell me what you want, hm? You gotta use your words."

"H-Harder, Keiji," you stammered, arching your back and meeting his powerful movements as best you could. "F-Fuck, please, I-I need..."

His fingers tightened around your throat, just enough to force you to gasp out your next breath. It was the only warning you had before Akaashi drew back and slammed into you with such force that the entire bedframe shuddered and rocked.

"Like this, pretty girl?" he growled out, the punishing tempo of his thrusts sending you teetering dangerously close to the edge. "That what you wanted? Fuck, you're taking me so well, baby...shit."

All you could manage in response was a desperate cry, nails digging into the sheets as you clung to them for dear life. Pleasure coiled tight and hot behind your navel, winding tighter and tighter as he drove his cock into you at a brutal pace that left you unable to catch your breath.

Keiji grunted and snarled, his rhythm growing unsteady as he chased the same release building within your own body. The hand braced on the mattress disappeared momentarily before snaking around your front, and when Akaashi's clever fingers found your swollen clit and rubbed the slick nub in frantic circles, it was all over.

"K-Keiji!" you cried out his name, thighs trembling as an orgasm crashed over your frame. You could barely catch your breath as you quivered and writhed, an obscene amount of hot liquid gushing out from where you were joined and spilling onto the sheets below.

"Fuck," Akaashi's breath hitched, the hand around your throat disappearing in favor of both palms grabbing hold of your hips. He yanked your pliant form back, fucking you through the aftershocks of your release as his own cock throbbed inside the molten depths of your pussy.

"Gonna come," he snarled out, his ragged pants filling the room. "S-sweetheart, can't hold on any longer, fuck...gotta pull out, okay?"

You shook your head furiously, too overcome to articulate anything more than a single syllable as you clenched down hard around him.

"Inside," you sobbed, gasping and shuddering as he snapped his hips against yours roughly. "P-please, Keiji...I need to f-feel it."

Keiji groaned, his fingers digging into the supple flesh of your hips in an iron grip. Your name was torn from his lips on a hoarse shout, his pace turning wild and erratic before he buried his cock as deep as it would go inside you and pulsed hard.

His cum painted the walls of your pussy in thick, molten spurts that had you moaning his name and grinding back into him. The sensation was enough to send you tumbling over the edge again, and you whimpered as you felt another gush of hot liquid spill out from around the thick length of his cock.

Akaashi panted harshly, the last of his cum spilling into your quivering form as he ground his hips against yours. The movement made you shudder and clench around him again, your oversensitive body unable to keep up with the flood of intense sensations overwhelming you.

He hissed softly, his grip on your waist slackening and easing you down to the mattress as the two of you caught your breath. Once he'd slid out of your dripping pussy, Akaashi collapsed beside you - his arms winding around your waist and tugging you firmly against his chest.

You melted into the comforting embrace, tucking your face into his neck and sighing contently as he smoothed a hand down your back. Keiji tilted your chin upwards, claiming your mouth in a tender kiss that made you melt even more.

"Are you alright, sweetheart?" he murmured, pulling away just enough to meet your gaze. "Not too rough, I hope?"

You couldn't help but smile at the concern in his expression, shaking your head.

"I'm perfect, Keiji," you assured him, smoothing your palms along the broad expanse of his chest and leaning in to brush your lips against his again. "Better than perfect, really."

He chuckled, the sound rumbling through his sturdy form. The arm curled around your waist squeezed lightly, a hand tangling in your hair and pulling you into a deep, toe-curling kiss. When the two of you finally parted, Akaashi's expression was tinged with something far warmer than his usual aloof expression.

"Good, because I intend to keep you right here all week," he told you, the promise making your heart flutter wildly. "It's only fair, considering how long I've waited."

You could tell by the glimmer in his eyes that there would be no arguing with him, and if you were honest - the prospect didn't exactly displease you.

"Fine by me," you whispered, pressing a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth and giggling as he tugged you closer. "You know, I can't help but think of how much more fun we could've been having if you'd just told me how you felt earlier."

"Oh, believe me, sweetheart," Akaashi drawled, the low timbre of his voice making you shiver. "By the time the week's over, you won't be thinking about anything but me."

[javierpena-inatacvest]

You Make Loving Fun

Summary: You buy tickets to Fleetwood Mac for Javi's birthday. After a few drinks, Javi ends up having a little more fun than he intended.

Pairing: Husband!Javier Peña x Wife!Reader (no use of y/n)

Word Count: 6.1K

Warnings: SMUT (18+), unprotected p in v sex (wrap before you tap) oral (f receiving), vaginal fingering, paise kink, creampie, aftercare, implied? breeding kink (I think it's illegal for me to write if this isn't in the warnings somewhere) drinking alcohol, Javi gets absolutely HAMMERED, talks of having more kids and stopping birth control, Drunk Javi wants to tell anyone and everyone how much he loves his wife, Drunk Javi being sweet and happy and so in love because that's what he deserves

A/N: If you're anything like me, you've spent WAY too long looking at all of these photos of sweet Pedro at a concert, and of course, my brain automatically went "THAT'S JAVI GETTING WASTED AND HAVING THE TIME OF HIS LIFE" and now, here we are 🤷🏼‍♀️ I feel like Javi would be a very happy/affectionate drunk post-Colombia bc he is so happy just to be having fun and enjoying his life and that makes me ✨emotional✨ Also, thanks @itsokbbygrl for ruining my life by realizing the ring Pedro is wearing in this picture is on his RING FINGER?!?! 😩

Can be read as a standalone or as a part of the Never Too Late Series!

“I feel to fucking old to be doing this.”

“To do what? Go to a concert? I hate to break it to you, Jav, but there are, in fact, no age limits at concerts. What, are you worried security is gonna try to kick you out for being too old?” You giggled, looking over at Javi next to you in the bathroom, finishing fixing his hair and adjusting his shirt. 

“I know, I just haven’t been to a concert in so damn long. Definitely not since we’ve had the girls.” Javi sighed, running his hand through the dark curls of his hair once more before turning to face you, still finishing up the last of your makeup in the mirror. 

Although you had intended for your Fleetwood Mac tickets to be a surprise for Javi’s birthday, trying to coordinate around your schedules and 3 little girls had made spontaneous date nights much more challenging than they used to be when you first met. But, with Chucho needing no incentive to babysit his granddaughters, you and Javi were excited to have a night out just the two of you, getting to enjoy your favorite band together, singing and dancing the night away to celebrate another year of Javi getting older. 

“Well then lucky for you, you’ll be the hottest dad at the concert.” You smirked, sassily tilting your head towards him to prove your point, your reaction just enough to snap him out of his self doubt, Javi joining in on the laughter as he stood behind you, grabbing your waist and placing a soft kiss on the bare skin of your shoulder next to the strap of your sundress. 

“Good thing I’ve got a fucking hot MILF of a wife to go with me then, huh?” Javi grinned, the kiss he had left on your shoulder now slowly starting to creep up your neck and collarbone as his hand reached down to grab a handful of your ass, making you squeal in surprise. “I know you picked this dress out on purpose because you know it drives me fucking crazy. God, you look good.” 

“Javi! You better stop or we’re gonna be late to dinner before the show!” You scolded, giving him a playful jab to his stomach, only making him tighten the grip on your ass even firmer with his other hand coming to join his first. 

“Hermosa,” He cooed, gently turning you around to take the mascara you had in your hand and set it on the counter before cradling your jaw in his palm, forcing your gaze up at him, “I know you. And you and I both know damn well you at least put enough a little buffer time into our plans for us to have sex before we left. Am I wrong?” 

Well, he caught you there, because he most certainly was not. 

“Maybe…” You replied sheepishly, overdramatically rolling your eyes at his statement, only making his boyish grin spread wider between his cheeks, “Okay, but seriously though, we do have to be quick, because I don’t want to- Ah! Javi!” 

You couldn’t help but let out a little shriek of surprise as Javi suddenly lifted you up, setting you down on the bathroom counter and caging your body under his, his arms planted on either side of your hips as his mouth crashed into yours, tongues and teeth dancing in a hungry and desperate clash. 

“I promise I won’t take too long. But I can’t help myself when you look this good, mi amor. Eres tan hermosa (You’re so beautiful). You’re gonna kill me in that dress, Momma.” Javi hummed, his hands now gripping the meat of your thighs and sliding down your legs to bunch up the skirt of your dress, hiking it up as he sank down to his knees in front of the bathroom counter. 

You could already feel the damp patch that had begun to grow in your underwear as Javi hooked his fingers around the elastic of its waistband, tugging the fabric down your legs and letting it fall to the bathroom floor, revealing your pussy, already wet and aching for him. 

Javi settled himself between your legs, draping them over his shoulders as his fingers slid through your folds, collecting your juices before beginning to circle at your clit with the pads of his fingers, peppering kisses along the inside of your thighs as you whimpered in delight. 

“J-Javi, please, baby.” You moaned, fingers tightening around the edge of the countertop as his thumb replaced his fingers on your clit, his middle and ring finger dipping inside your already weeping core, curling just slightly as he began to pump them in and out of you. 

It wasn’t long before his thumb was replaced by his mouth, the flat of his tongue licking a broad strip across your cunt, the new sensation sending a shockwave of pleasure through your body. No matter how many times Javi had gone down on you, it never failed to surprise you how goddamn good he was at it, memorizing every twitch and gasp that made you fall apart in the best way possible, and tonight was no exception. 

His slow, long strokes began to quicken, circling his tongue around your clit with the perfect amount of pressure as his fingers worked in tandem, curving in just the right place to press against your g-spot and begin to build the arousal swirling in your core. 

As much as you (and Javi, for that matter), would have loved to have taken your time and let him eat you out on the bathroom counter for hours, the both of you knew you were on a time crunch, but not enough of a crunch to stop Javi from making you cum at least once before he fucked you. 

The pressure of his tongue on your sensitive nub became more and more, before latching his lips to suck at your clit, your cunt clenching in anticipation around his fingers as you writhed beneath his touch, moaning his name as you felt your orgasm begin to build. 

You couldn’t help but let your hand shoot down to his head, your fingers burying themselves in his thick, brown locks, with absolutely no regard for the time he had just spent fixing his hair in the mirror just a few minutes ago.  

“Javi… Oh, shit. Fuck, more baby, please. P-please, I’m so close.” You moaned, looking down at Javi with what you were already sure was a wrecked expression painted across your face. 

You could practically feel Javi’s smug smirk pressed against your cunt before pulling away to respond. “Give it to me, pretty girl. Wanna taste you all over me when you soak my face.”

Before you could reply, your jaw dropped open and face scrunched in pleasure as Javi dove back in, burying his face in your cunt, each press of his tongue became more firm and precise than the last, feeling your pussy begin to flutter as you clutched tighter around the edge of the counter, trying to keep from screaming out in pleasure and raise any suspicion. But as your legs began to tremble and your heart race, teetering on the brink of collapse, it was taking every ounce of willpower you had left to make that happen.

Fuck, Javi. Fuck, I- fuck- I’m gonna, I’m gonna-ahhhhhh.” You whimpered, feeling your orgasm crash through you, pleasure radiating in your veins as you fell apart, losing all inhibitions to keep yourself quiet as you threw your head back in all consuming bliss. With his fingers still buried in your cunt, gently working you through your high, Javi shot back up, his mouth engulfing yours in an electric kiss to try and capture your ragged moans that had been coating the walls of the bathroom, the tangy taste of you still lingering on his lips. 

”That’s it, baby girl. Fuck, you’re so perfect. Love this pussy so fucking much.” He groaned, reaching down to frantically undo his belt buckle, his fingers working rapidly to undo the metal clasp before pushing his pants and boxers down his legs, letting them pool in a pile around his ankles. 

Still coming down from your high, your breath hitched as the tip of Javi’s cock ran through your folds, coating his length in your arousal before slipping inside you. You couldn’t help but gasp even harder at the new sensation of his fullness inside you, cockhead already kissing your cervix as his hips flushed with yours. 

Javi’s hands began to wander up your legs, pushing your dress up your thighs until he got to your hips, digging his fingertips in the soft fabric as he thrust in and out of you, mouths melding together as one. 

“Fuck, you feel so good, Hermosa. So fucking wet for me, taking me so well.” Javi moaned, nipping at your ear as his pace became faster, fucking into you in the spot he knew made you lose all control, silently smirking at the pathetic whimpers that were escaping your lips. 

Javi buried his face in the crook of your neck as your legs began to instinctively lock around the small of his back, bringing him closer to you with each thrust. You could already feel that all too familiar tingle building at the base of your spine once again, wanting to feel every inch of him you could deeper and deeper inside you before you came. 

With the way the hairs at the base of his cock were brushing against your clit, you knew you didn’t have much longer until your orgasm was about to crash though you, finding yourself grasping fistfuls of Javi’s shirt for dear life as you mumbled incoherently. 

”O-oh shit, Javi. Fuck, F-fuck, don’t stop baby. Please, don’t stop.” 

You could practically hear the hum of satisfaction deep in Javi’s chest feeling your cunt clench tighter and tighter around his cock, his firm grasp of his hands on your hips holding you in place on the counter as he pounded into you. 

”C’mon Osita. Cum all over me. Give it to me and I swear I’m gonna fuck you so full of me, I’ll be dripping out of you all night.” 

“Yes, fuckfuckfuck, please, Javi.” 

“Is that what you want? You gotta be a good girl and cum for me first, baby.” 

That was all it took for you to break before you could feel a wave of pleasure rushing through your body, euphoria running through your veins as you came, crying out Javi’s name like a prayer as he started to chase his own high. His thrusts became frantic and sloppy, his brows furrowing in focus to hold out just a little longer until your body melted into his in your blissed out state. 

“That’s it, hermosa. I love you so much. I- oh shit- I’m close, too. F-fuck, I’m gonna fill this tight little pussy so full of me that it- oh fuckkkkkkkk.” With a few more pumps, a moan escaped from Javi’s parted lips as he came, spilling himself deep inside your walls. The warm mix of his spend and your arousal dripped out of you as his cock softened, whimpering at the loss as he pulled out, but catching your muffled moans in his mouth as his lips met yours, cradling your face in his palm. 

Through your heavy breaths from heaving chests, you and Javi both couldn’t help but smile and laugh to yourselves as your foreheads rested against each other, quietly whispering “I love you” to each other in sync, your bodies slumped together in a blissed out heap on the bathroom counter. 

”Fuck, you’re so hot. I’ll never get over it.” Javi smirked, biting down on his lip after giving you another quick kiss, rummaging through your bathroom cabinets to pull out a washcloth to clean you up with.

”Takes one to know one, Peña.” You giggled, letting out a content sigh as you let your head fall back, closing your eyes for a moment before looking over your shoulder to see Javi, and behind Javi, the clock that you both had very much not been paying attention to in the midst of your antics.

”Oh fuck…” 

“Already did that, mi amor,” Javi teased, running the washcloth under the warm water of the sink, “What’s wrong?”

Without saying a word, you gestured to the clock hanging on the bathroom wall with a defeated shrug, Javi turning around with a quiet laugh to himself, shrugging his shoulders right along with you. 

“You’d think after how long we’ve been together we’d start giving ourselves even more time than we think to leave for things, huh?” 

“You would think, huh?” You giggled, accepting defeat that the two of you would most definitely not be making it to your dinner reservations that you had planned before the concert. “Sorry, Jav.”

 “What do you have to be sorry about, cariño? Fuck, I get to have amazing sex with my beautiful wife before we go see our favorite band, what a horrible birthday night so far.” Javi teased, giving you a reassuring nudge that you had nothing to apologize for. “I think the real question is…” 

”Is what, Mr. Sarcasm?” 

“What size fries do you want with your McDonald’s Coke and McNuggets for dinner?” 

“How did you know I was gonna say we should get McDonald’s for dinner?!” 

“Because Osita, I swear I know you better than I know myself.” 

After some quick touch ups and a call to Chucho to say goodnight to your daughters before you left, you and Javi were on the road, happily enjoying your McDonald’s and taking turns picking your favorite Fleetwood Mac songs to jam out to, spending your ride debating what songs they’d play, reminiscing about the songs you loved, and singing at the top of your lungs, to the point you were positive you would have no voice tomorrow. 

While you hadn’t been able to keep the concert itself a secret, the one thing you had been able to hide from your husband was the fact that you had managed to get not just good, but great seats for the show. If Javi had known how much you’d spent for him on his birthday, he would have insisted on finding cheaper tickets, but if there was anyone who was deserving of getting to see his favorite band from an incredible view, it was him. 

From the moment the two of you had entered the venue, you had your tickets peeled to your chest to keep them from Javi, reassuring him that you knew where you were going, much to his dismay and insisting that working together would help you find your seats quicker. 

After a few minutes of wandering and secretly maneuvering to the right section of the stadium, you had finally found where you belonged, excitedly pulling Javi along behind you towards your seats.

“Baby, not that I don’t trust your navigation skills, but I feel like we’re down way too far in the stands. ” Javi questioned, his hand in yours as you dragged him through the crowd, looking back and forth between your ticket stub and the stadium rows to find your spots. 

“Not to burst your bubble, Jav, but my navigation skills are as on point as they ever have been.” You smirked, crossing your arms over your chest before handing him over your tickets, his face stunned and in shock as he read the small stubs of card stock, realizing you had absolutely led the both of you to the right place. 

”Happy early birthday, Javi. I know the concert itself wasn’t a surprise, but I hope that these seats are still a good one.” 

“Osita… Baby, you can’t be serious…” Javi’s jaw dropped, eyes going wide in shock, convinced you had to be joking or playing some sort of prank on him. 

“Serious as a heart attack, Jav.” 

Javi stood there speechless, tears welling in his eyes with an awestruck grin on his face, wrapping his arms around you in a tight hug before peppering your face with kisses, making you giggle and squeal in delight. 

“God, I love you so much. Thank you, Hermosa. This is… fuck, this is absolutely incredible. Thank you. I don’t- this is way more than I deserve. Thank you so much.” 

Your heart swelled at the boyish grin spread across Javi’s face as he looked out at the view in front of him, knowing that if you could give your husband the world in his pocket, you would in a heartbeat, but to see his excitement over some seats at a concert would do just fine. 

“You’re so welcome, baby. You do deserve it. You deserve it more than anyone I know. You are the most amazing, wonderful husband and dad. If I could get you up there on stage with Stevie Nicks, I would, because that’s what you deserve.” 

“I think the last thing anyone needs is to hear me even attempt to sing.” 

“The girls love it when you sing to them.” 

“That’s because they don’t know any better. Give it a few more years and I’m sure they’ll be begging me to stop.” 

“What they know won’t hurt ‘em,” you laughed, giving Javi a playful shrug, “Also, the other part of this gift is that I am driving us home from the concert, so you can have as much fun as you want.” 

“Baby, you don’t have to-” 

“I can and I will,” You sassed defiantly, cutting Javi off before he could oppose your offer, “You always drive so I can have a good time, and you deserve to have time to let loose, too. So, with that being said, I am going to go get us drinks. Drunk Javi is one of my favorite Javi’s and I don’t get to see him very often. Okay?” 

“Okay. Thanks, Hermosa. I love you.” 

“I love you too, Jav. Now, what do you want to drink?” 

“Surprise me.” He laughed, giving you a quick kiss and a subtle smack on your ass as you walked past him to make your way back to the concession stand. “Drunk Javi is really one of your favorites?” 

“Absolutely. Drunk Javi loves to dance. Drunk Javi also gets very sweet and a little handsy, both of which I am more than okay with.” 

A few drinks deep and the opening bands finished, Javi, or better yet, Drunk Javi, was having the absolute time of his life. For as fun and goofy Javi was at home with you and the girls, it was few and far between that the former DEA agent found himself intoxicated out in public with a case of dancing shoes and uncontrollable giggles. 

“God, I’m having so much fun. Are you having fun, Hermosa? You’re the best wife ever, you know that?” Javi grinned, wrapping his arm around your waist as he pecked a sloppy kiss onto your cheek before taking another sip of his beer. 

“Glad to know you don’t have a secret wife who you like better than me.” You teased, giving him a little nudge and giggling at his drunken state, a little surprised when all of a sudden his face turned serious, setting down his beer to cup your jaw with his palms and forcing his gaze on his. 

“Baby, you know I would never ever do that, right? I literally love you so much. You and the girls are my whole world. I think I would rather die than be with anyone else besides you. No, I know I would rather die than be with anyone else. You are literally perfect.” Javi pleaded, his concerned, big, brown puppy dog eyes making your heart melt. 

“Yes, Mr. Dramatic, I know you would never have a secret wife, but thank you for your very adamant confirmation.” You giggled, pressing up on your tiptoes to give him another kiss, washing the worry away from the concerned furrow of his brow. “You are such a goofball. I love you so much too, Jav. I promise, I’m not going anywhere either. Well, actually, that’s a lie. I do need to go to the bathroom before Fleetwood Mac comes on, but I will be right back.” 

“Okay, mi amor. I’ll be right here when you get back.” Javi nodded adamantly, knowing in his drunken state he would be taking his job of not leaving your seats very seriously until you safely returned. 

“I know you will, Javi. I’ll be quick, okay? Need anything when I’m gone? Besides another drink?” 

“How did you know I was gonna say I needed another drink?” Javi asked in complete shock, like you had just showed him the world’s most inconceivable magic trick. 

“I’d say the almost empty bottle was a good clue.” You winked, giving his arm a little squeeze before shimmying your way through the row of seats and up the stairs to find the nearest bathroom and concession stand. 

Normally, Javi wasn’t one to strike up small talk with strangers just for the fun of it, but with his lowered inhibitions, he couldn’t help but find himself turning to the group of women seated next to him to kill the time before you came back from the bathroom. 

“Have you guys seen Fleetwood Mac before?” Javi shrugged, finishing the last bit of beer at the bottom of his bottle. 

“Yeah, we’ve seen them a few times! They’re really good live!” One of the women responded, her friends nodding in agreement. 

“I’ve seen ‘em before too, but this is my wife and I’s first time seeing them together. She got me the tickets for my birthday, but she surprised me with how good these seats were. She’s amazing.” Javi beamed, subtly nodding his head to the music playing in the background between sets. 

“Awh, that’s so sweet!” One of the other women chimed in, the three women laughing to themselves at how drunk and awestruck Javi was over you. 

“It is. I hope they play Everywhere. It’s our favorite song by them. We played it at our wedding when she walked down the aisle and I bawled like a baby. She looked so beautiful. Who am I kidding? She’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met. Like, ever.” Javi’s grin was growing wider by the second, staring off into the distance as he rambled on about you. 

“Oh my goodness, you are so cute. She’s a lucky lady.” The women smiled, incredibly entertained by everything Javi had to say. 

“No. I’m the lucky one.” Javi responded, stone cold serious as he pointed to himself, finger poking his chest. “Have you seen her? She’s so pretty. And she married me! And on top of that, we have a family, too! Can you believe it?!” 

“With how in love with her you seem to be, I 100% can. How many kids do you have?” 

“3 daughters. Lucy is 5, Elliot just turned 3, and Harper is 7 months old.” Javi counted on his fingers, holding up 3 to represent each of his girls. “I love them so much. Being a dad is like, the most coolest thing ever. And she’s such a good mom. They’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” 

“Hey, Chatterbox.” You laughed, gently tapping Javi on the shoulder, trying not to startle him as he turned around, beaming from ear to ear at your presence. “Here is your drink and- oh!” 

“Osita! I missed you.” Javi swallowed the rest of your sentence in his mouth with a strong kiss, pulling away to greet you with a goofy grin, followed by a confused frown. “Wait, where did you go?” 

“Oh boy, we’re gonna have to pick some Gatorade and Tylenol up on the way home, aren’t we? I was just going to the bathroom, remember? And to get you another drink, silly goose.” You giggled, holding out his beer for him. 

“Oh shit. I should probably go to the bathroom, too. Do you think I have enough time to go? I don’t wanna miss anything with you!” Javi questioned frantically, realizing he definitely had not utilized the bathroom to the extent he probably should have. 

“You should be fine, babe. The lines were pretty short, so if you hurry I’m sure you’ll be back in plenty of time.” You reassured him. 

“Phew, okay, I can go fast, no problem. I’ll be right back, hermosa.” Carefully taking back his beer as he handed it off to you, Javi quickly scrambled through the crowd to follow the path you had just returned from, leaving you laughing to yourself and shaking your head. 

“We just wanted to let you know, your husband is absolutely adorable.” One of the women furthest away from you piped up, catching your attention. 

“Oh, um, thank you?” You replied, tilting your head in confusion. 

“That man is utterly obsessed with you. I think he had more nice things to say about you in 30 seconds to a group of strangers than any of my exes ever did combined.” 

“Girl, not to mention he is handsome. You are one lucky woman. Who knew it would take a stranger in love at a Fleetwood Mac concert to once again raise the bar for men.” 

“Wow, uh, thank you. That’s really nice of you. I’m not gonna lie, he’s pretty darn great.” You blushed, trying to keep your smile from spreading too wide at their compliments for Javi over his affection for you. 

“Of course. We won’t bother you anymore, but figured you’d like to know that your man is still head over heels for you. Enjoy the rest of the concert!” 

“Thanks, you guys too!” You smirked, your eyes darting down towards your feet to hide the red glow of your cheeks, your heart bursting with warmth from the fact that even in his drunken state, you found yourself falling harder and harder for Javi every day. 

Suddenly, the lights around the stage began to dim, the roar of the crowd overtaking the stadium, signaling Fleetwood Mac were only moments away from taking the stage. Instinctively, you peeked your head behind you through the crowd to look for Javi, relieved when you saw his broad figure hustling down the stairs, waving at you with a goofy grin the whole way. 

"I was worried I was gonna have to come find you before the show started!” You sighed, grabbing Javi’s face and giving his cheeks a playful squeeze before giving him a quick peck on the lips. 

“Osita, you know I wouldn’t miss this for the world.” 

Any high hopes that you had for the show were surpassed, and then some. The band played all of your favorites, the both of you singing and dancing along, probably making complete fools of yourselves, but you couldn’t care less. 

You were particularly impressed with Javi’s over dramatic stomping and air drumming to “The Chain” to kick off the show, having to grab his beer to keep it from spilling all over himself several times throughout his performance. Although incredibly offbeat, Javi's enthusiasm made up for any drunken lack of rhythm throughout the song.

The both of you couldn’t help but shout along to “I Don’t Wanna Know” at the top of your lungs, painfully off key and obnoxiously loud, Javi reaching down to grab your finger, wrapping his hands around it to use as his own makeshift microphone for the entire duration of the song. 

During “Landside”, you found Javi standing behind you, chest pressed to your back and arms wrapped around you as you swayed back and forth, gently wiping your tears and choking back his own as he whispered in your ear how lucky he was to build his life around you and your girls, mumbling something about how if any of the girls get married and pick this song to do a father daughter dance to, he’d be an absolute mess. 

By the end of the concert, you and Javi were both exhausted, giving every last ounce of energy to “Go Your Own Way”, the crowd erupting with thunderous applause as the show came to a close, lights flashing and confetti exploding from the ends of the stage in an array of bright colors in the same way your heart felt like it was exploding with joy from the incredible time you had with Javi. 

Over the cheers and hollers, Javi leaned in, cupping your cheek in his palm, the other arm wrapped around your waist pulling you closer to his chest, capturing you in a kiss that seemed to make time stop and everyone else disappear, feeling like in that moment, no one else existed but the two of you. 

“I love you so much, Osita.” 

”I love you too, Javi.”

“Tonight was- Oh shit, hold on,” Javi paused, letting out a long, low burp, a signature Drunk Javi move, placing his hand over his chest and letting out a long sigh before speaking again, “Sorry, that felt good. Wait, what was I saying again?” 

“That you had a lot of fun. I think it’s time that we get you home, cowboy.” You couldn’t help but snort at his impressive display of flatulence, wrapping your arm around his waist as you walked with the flow of the crowd departing from the stadium, hand patting his hip in reassurance. 

It wasn’t until you began to try and travel up the stairs and through the sea of concert goers that you realized just how drunk Javi was. While wrapping your arm around his hip had started off as a sweet gesture to help guide him in the right direction to leave, you began to worry that you were going to have to try and keep him up until the two of you got to the car. 

Thankfully, your humming, happy as can be Javi made it to your parking spot, breaking free of your grasp to race to your car, tugging at the driver’s side door with profound confusion at it’s locked state. 

“Hermosa! The car is locked! How are we gonna get home if we can’t get in?” Javi fretted, tugging harder at the door handle. 

“I have the keys, baby, don’t worry.” You laughed, reaching into your purse to unlock the truck’s doors, sending Javi stumbling backwards as the driver’s side swung open from his last tug at the handle. “Also, you are on the wrong side there, pendejo. I’m driving home, remember?” 

“Oh fuck, you are! I was gonna say, I think I’m a lil drunk. I probably shouldn’t drive.” Javi grimaced, quickly scampering to the other side of the car as you unlocked it, laughing as you watched him squeeze into the passenger set that was clearly set for your stature and not his. 

“I think you might be more than just a little drunk, baby.” You corrected, clicking in your seatbelt and firing up the ignition, peeling out of your parking spot. 

“Yeah, I’m a lot a bit drunk. I’m sorry, Osita.” He pouted, slumping his face in his hand, elbow resting on the center console. 

“Jav, why on earth would you possibly be sorry?” You frowned, wondering what Javi had to apologize for. 

“I’m sorry I’m so drunk and now you have to drive me home.” 

“Baby, I’m glad that you decided to get drunk. I wanted you to have a good time! Number one, you’re always driving me home whenever I wanna have fun and number two, it’s your birthday, and you deserve to let loose and have as much fun as you want to. Don’t apologize, okay?” You smiled, gently grabbing your hand in his and giving it a little squeeze, instantly flooding his face with relief. 

“Okay. I’m sorry I talked to those ladies sitting by us earlier while you were going to the bathroom, too. I was just trying to be nice. I just wanted to tell them how excited I was to see Fleetwood Mac with you, and how beautiful and amazing and perfect you are, and that you’re the best wife ever.” 

“I know Jav, it’s okay. I didn't even think twice about it. They were very sweet, and said you had lots of nice things to say about me and the girls. It was very cute.” You smirked, lifting your interlocked hands to your lips to plant a kiss on his knuckles, giving it an even tighter squeeze of reassurance in the process. 

At this point, Javi had practically melted into the passenger seat, limbs spread out as wide as he could to try and get comfortable, tilting his head towards you with a mischievous grin and sparkle in his chocolate brown eyes. 

“You know what we should do when we get home?” Javi asked, now biting down on his lip to try and subdue his smirk. 

“I don’t know Javi, what should we do?” You responded back mockingly. 

“We shoulddddddddd....” He paused, dancing in his seat in excitement.

“We shoulddddddd, what, baby?” You sighed, laughing to yourself at his drunken goofiness. 

“We shouldddddd throw away your birth control and make another baby when we get home tonight.” Now Javi was full on beaming in an ear to ear grin, raising his eyebrows at you as he crossed his arms over his chest, trying to find any way to warm you up to his intoxicated acquisition. 

“Javi! We talked about this!” You scolded, giving him a playful slap to his chest, doing nothing to wipe his stupidly wide smirk off his face. “4 kids is a lot of kids. At least one of us can have a spare hand with 3, even if we’re outnumbered. I think 3 is the magic number, babe.” 

“I knowwwww, but making babies with you is like, the best thing ever. If you asked me to list my favorite things to do, that would be number one, no question.” Javi protested, convinced that this argument alone would be enough of a selling point for you. 

“Believe me, you’re not wrong, Jav. It’s a ten out of ten pastime, but even if I stopped taking my birth control tonight, I don't think it would happen, ya goof.” 

“Crazier things have happened. Maybe we'd just get really lucky. Our daughters are so cute. I know it’s unfair to say because they’re our kids, but like, we make some cute fuckin’ babies, Hermosa. What if we made another super cute baby? Just like, one more?” At this point, Javi had broken out his signature pout and big baby cow eyes, looking at you like a stray puppy who had been kicked to the curb. 

“Another adorable baby means I’m gonna have to build up my immunity to those sweet, sad, puppy dog eyes even more, and I honestly don’t know if I’m strong enough. I don’t know how all 3 of the girls ended up with your big brown eyes, but I hope you know it’s killing me slowly because of how frickin’ cute they are.” You sighed in defeat, knowing that your willpower with 3 sets of Javi’s mini-me’s was already low enough, let alone adding a 4th pair to the mix. 

“Soooooooooo it’s a maybe?” 

“Oh my god, you are so bad, Javier Jesus Peña.” 

“That’s not a yes or a no, Osita.” 

“....Maybe. But don’t get your hopes up, okay?” 

“So we’re not not gonna make a baby tonight?” 

“Javi, I love you, baby, but with how much you’ve had to drink, I don’t think nature is going to give you enough grace to even let that possibility play out.” You snorted, gesturing down to his crotch, making him roll his eyes. 

“Okay, that only happened one other time!” Javi sloppily pointed at you, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Yeah, when you were absolutely hammered after Steve’s 40th birthday party and wouldn’t let me put you to bed until you could prove to me that you did not, in fact, get whiskey dick, to which you fell asleep with your hands down your pants sitting in the guest room chair, unable to prove your point.” 

“That was not my proudest moment, I will admit that. Most of the time, I’m pretty good at sex, though.” Javi retorted, trying to bring himself back from your last point made. 

“Yes, Jav, you’re very good at sex.” You agreed, patting him on the leg and rubbing his thigh. 

“So good…. That we should make another baby tonight when we get home.” 

“Oh my god.” 

“I’m just saying!” 

“Jesus Christ, you goof. I think when we get home, someone needs to drink some water and get into bed. I love you very much, but that’s about as far as we’re getting tonight.” You laughed, rustling the messy curls of his hair as he leaned his head to rest against your shoulder. 

Javi sat silent for a moment, watching the headlights of the cars flash through his window, staring into the serene darkness of the clear night sky, the familiar warmth of his body pressed against yours in a comfortable calm. It was almost as if you could feel his eyelids beginning to droop, slowly closing while his sleepy state washed over him as he nestled against you. And while in that moment, the air between you hung quiet, you could hear the silent agreement that if given the choice, there was nowhere else you’d rather be than right here, right now, with each other. 

“Hey, Hermosa?” 

“Yeah, Jav?” 

“I love you.” 

“I love you, too.” 

“....Enough that we should make another baby tonight?” 

“Javi!”

Taglist:

@chaotic-iguana @rhoorl @bbiophiliaa @pertinentpostmortem @angelofsmalldeath-codeine

@pedrobaby @fatima-marisa @beboldbebravethings @poodlebae @kittenlittle24

@3sriracha @jungchloee @perennialdoll247 @prettyinpunk85

@partyofone3413 @harriedandharassed @pedrohoe04 @theorganasolo

@endlessthxxghts @beware-my-thorns @missladym1981 @milly-louise

@jay-zzle @the-one-with-the-grey-color @persephone-girl @bitchesuntitled

@pedropascallvr @millennial-teenybopper r @nastiasnow @vee-bees-blog

@hopplessilse @mxtokko @its-nebuleuse @mandoisapunk @msmorningstaarr

@amyispxnk @honeyedmiller @mountainsandmayhem @picketniffler @burningnerdchild

@copperhalfcent @theoraekenslover @bloodyinspirationaldemon @vee-bees-blog

@samgirl4life @pigeonmama @survivingandenduring @itsokbbygrl @javierpena-inatacvestnotifs

[torpublishinggroup]

"Warning Signs Your Machines Are Trying to Kill You!" by TJ Klune

(Legally, I’m required to tell you that when smart phones first became popular, I bought one and then asked for the address of the app store because I thought it was a physical location I had to go to in order to download apps and not something already on your phone. Also, I was recently told I speak like an old person so as a warning, there will not be any slang you youths typically hear, especially on Tumblr. Any slang I’ve learned in the last five years has been against my will. I still don’t know what FOMO means, and I don’t care.)

1. Oh no! You and your family are trying to enjoy a movie night, but Overlord Prime (With Free Shipping) wants a sacrifice at the altar of their god, BeeZos. Should this happen, do not attempt to give Overlord Prime (With Free Shipping) a cantaloupe with googly-eyes on it and say that it is your baby. Overlord Prime (With Free Shipping) knows the difference between fruit and children. Instead, ask the machine to order dog food, and it will forget about eating humans for a little while.

2. If you own a very fancy vehicle that can drive itself, always make sure to carry a brick. That way, when the car locks you inside and attempts to drive you off a cliff into a gas station, you can break the window using the brick. You will then have to jump out, but make sure you do so in time so you can watch the wicked-ass explosion when the car hits the gas station, and you can revel in your victory over your car.

3. This one will hurt. I’m sorry, but it’s true. Chances are, you’re reading this on your phone right this second. To be safe, after you’ve finished reading this post and have clicked on the affiliated links to purchase my books, you should throw your phone into a volcano and then move to South Dakota where there are no machines, only wind and cows. That way, when everyone else gets the 5GZombieVirus that people on Twitter (I’m not calling it the other thing, shut up) seem to think is real, you’ll be safe with your cows on a windy day.

4. Get rid of your air fryer. Don’t ask me why, just do it. Red flags all around. Danger, danger.

5. Do you know of the Clapper? That thing first launched in the late 20th century (I wrote it that way to make me feel old) where the commercials showed cranky old people unable to reach their light switches, so they got a thing called a Clapper that turns your lights on and off when you clap? Guess what? Those will be the first things to try and kill you. If you love your gram-gram, save her from the Clapper. When she asks why you are destroying it with an ax, tell gram-gram it’s because you love her.

6. Do you live in a smart home? The kind where everything is connected to the internet, including your refrigerator? The refrigerator that holds your perishable foods? And oh, would you look at that: how many ice cubes have you kicked under it rather than picking them up when they fall to the floor? A dozen? A million? The refrigerator remembers. And it will spoil your food in seconds. What then? What are you going to eat? Canned food? Not if the refrigerator falls on top of you!

Unfortunately for you, this is where it must end. I hope this has given you enough information to help you survive the inevitable. If you do not heed my warnings, well. Who cares. I’m not in charge of you. Do whatever you want. Just don’t come complaining to me when gram-gram gets the clap.

[justagalwhowrites]

Just to be Sure

Your husband Joel is desperate to get you pregnant again.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

CW: Breeding kink smut. Joel really really REALLY wants to knock you up. Lots of pregnancy talk. Reader has given birth before and is at the age where she can give birth again so choose your own adventure for age gap but I picture them about the same age with Joel late 30s. Husband!Joel. No outbreak AU. Creampie. No use of Y/N. Minors DNI, 18+ only

Length: 1k

A/N: Forgive me for this. I am completely baked and couldn’t shake the thought of Joel having an insane breeding kink. I think if there was no outbreak and Joel found a woman, he’d be DESPERATE to knock her up over and over. He is all about his family, wants so many kids to look after, he’s always begging her for just one more. This is that Joel. He’s filthy. I love him. Also I wrote this in an hour and a half while on an edible and barely proofread it fuck if we ball also sorry I wrote it half on my phone in bed OK BYE LOVE YOU!

“Fuck, Joel…”

Your voice trailed off, weak and breathless, your hands grasping uselessly at the sheets around you.

You weren’t sure how long he’d had you here like this, sweating and fucked out as your husband slowly worked his cock in and out of you. You just knew you had to be quiet, that your one year old was asleep just a room away, a feat that was damn near impossible as Joel pulled yet another orgasm out of you.

“What, baby?” He panted over you, one hand gripping the headboard as he buried himself inside you yet again.

“You…” You closed your eyes for a moment, trying to focus. “You don’t have to get me pregnant to..to…tonight, you know…”

“Oh I know,” he said, his voice heavy with need and scratchy with exertion. “Wouldn’t mind tryin’ with you for a few months, fucking this pretty pussy full of me every damn night, comin’ so deep in you that you’ve got part of me in you all day every day.”

“Joel,” you whimpered, you couldn’t help it, your pussy drawing tight and hot around him.

“But, see, I’m not sure I can wait that long,” he said, pressing somehow deeper into you and holding himself there for a moment, making your cunt clench around him, your legs scrambling for purchase as your next orgasm built higher and higher. “Need to put another baby in you now, need to see your belly grow, need to fuck you until you’ve got part of me in you for damn near a year.”

“Oh fuck!”

You moaned it louder than you should have, Joel’s large hand going from propping him up to clamped over your mouth as your orgasm took you, the heat of it shooting out from your core and through your entire being, your heart racing, channel throbbing.

“Oh goddamn,” he groaned, fucking into you even harder now. “That’s right little mama, pull another baby out me, that’s it…”

“Joel, Joel, Joel,” you panted over and over again into his hand, mind reduced to nothing but your husband and how damn full he made you feel, especially with his bare cock buried deep inside of you.

It had been a year almost to the day that you’d last fucked without a condom. You’d been right at the end of your pregnancy, desperate for Joel and desperate for something - anything - to kick start your labor. The last time you hadn’t needed a condom, your contractions started 20 minutes after it ended.

Ever since, you’d been taking precautions. Not because you didn’t want another baby - you definitely did - but because you hadn’t gotten the OK from your doctor yet.

Today, that had changed. You’d gone to your check up and your doctor gave you a clean bill of health, including the OK to start trying to get pregnant again.

You’d figured Joel would want to get started trying that night. You just hadn’t counted on him pulling endless orgasms as a part of trying.

“Think you got one more in you, baby?” He asked, freeing your mouth to run his hand over your hair. You just whimpered. “M’close, wanna come with you. Come on, you can give me one more, know you can.”

You couldn’t find the words as he moved to suck your neck, so you just moaned and nodded and clawed his body closer and tighter to yours.

You could feel him smile against you then, the pace of his pounding cock picking up, the tip of him hitting the spot inside you he’d long ago claimed as his own perfectly with each stroke.

“Come on little mama,” he panted. “Takes better if you come with me, need you to fucking come baby, need to feel you fucking come when I make you pregnant.”

You weren’t sure Joel was fully aware of what he was saying but then, you felt like you were moving of your own accord, too, your hips rolling up against his, frantically pawing at him in a desperate attempt to pull him so close that it was like his whole being was inside you.

This orgasm claimed you quickly, going from starting to build to taking over you in a matter of seconds. You barely had a chance to warn Joel before it hit you.

"I'm gonna come," you managed just half a second before your channel started to fluffer around him. "Fuck, I'm coming! I'm coming!"

"Fuck, that's it," he said fucking into you with two more deep, devastating strokes before you could feel his cock throbbing heavily inside, the warm spread of his spend in your most intimate place drawing your orgasm out. "That's it, fuck, come while I put my baby in you."

His cock gave one final, heavy pulse before he collapsed on you, panting for breath as you went limp below him. Even as he lay there, damn near exhausted, he still managed to fuck his cock into you a few more times, driving his come even deeper.

When he was satisfied, he sat up from you and watched between your legs as he slowly, gently pulled his softening length from your aching, swollen sex.

“So damn pretty like this,” he said almost reverently. You felt the comforting warmth of his come drip out of you and then Joel’s finger was there, scooping it up and gently pushing it back inside your spent hole as it struggled to close after being opened by his thick cock for so long. “Gotta keep me deep inside her baby, s’where I belong.”

You just whimpered a little, still not positive you could form words as Joel lay beside you, his hand skimming slowly over your stomach down to the place that had grown your first daughter with Joel.

“Think our baby’s in there?” He asked softly, thumb brushing your skin in a gentle rhythm.

“I hope so,” you smiled at him.

“Don’t sound like you’re sure,” he smirked a little back. “Might just need to leave more of me in you, just to be sure.”

Your smile grew as his hand slipped lower.

“Just to be sure.”

[qqueenofhades]

I just feel like even if we all vote and Biden wins, Trump won't accept the loss, and eventually they'll just put him in anyway. And then there won't be another real election. Even if Biden wins and somehow is actually confirmed (which again, I think is unlikely) we're going to have to do this for 30 more years because of the SC, and that isn't at all sustainable.

All this isn't to say I won't vote but I just think people are being way too optimistic about what happens if Biden wins. I don't think him winning will keep Trump out or the horrible fascist future at bay.

Look, I get the fear. I do, I do... but this is also one of the times when you have to ask if it's actually telling you something true, or if it's just preying on that generalized feeling of doom to make everything seem hopeless even if we win again. And that is... there is absolutely no actual mechanism for Trump to be installed as president if Biden wins the Electoral College (since as we have repeatedly seen, the popular vote is immaterial). SCOTUS is horrible and evil and are trying to interfere as much ahead of time for Trump as they can, but part of that is because they can't simply issue an order for Biden to be removed and Trump to become God King By Fiat. That is not how it works. If Biden wins in November, he will be president until his term ends, he steps down, Kamala takes over, or anything else.

Trump tried a coup with all the entire overwhelming might of the US government as the sitting president last time; fortunately, it failed. Reforms to the Electoral Count Act have been made to prevent another January 6. The Department of Defense and the military are still under (and would be on another January 6) Biden's command, not Trump's. That's not to say that Trump won't try some shit with his insane cult followers, but he is just a late 70s conman from Queens out on bail and under sentence for a criminal trial, who is already the biggest and most disgraced loser and asshole in American political history. He is so desperate to cheat his way back into power because in a real sense, this IS the last-chance saloon for him. He can't put off the legal proceedings, however long they take, for another four years. He's losing his marbles at a rapid rate. I'm just saying: we don't know what or when, but there will be (and already have been) real consequences for him. That is why he is scrabbling so hard.

"Even if we vote, nothing matters and Trump will win anyway" is another of those insidious lies that works to make you feel as if the battle is endless and pointless and none of its victories matter. Of course it will not all be magically fixed forever if Biden wins. We will still have to figure some godforsaken fucking way to expand SCOTUS or kick Alito and Thomas off it. But we will have bought ourselves, our democracy, our country, and the world time to do that, and put another nail in Trump's coffin. That matters. It matters a lot.

Fascism wants to present itself as overwhelming, irresistible, inevitable, and ready to happen no matter what you do, and that's what your brain wants you to buy in now. But that's not the case, Trump is not inevitable or some all-powerful monolith (in fact, another of the debate takeaways seemed to be that Biden looked bad but people still hate Trump too much for it to really shift anything). He is a loser, a fraud, a conman, a liar, and a crook, and he WANTS you to fear him like an almighty god. Don't give him or the MAGAGOP the satisfaction.

Frankly, having to endure another four months of this might kill us all, and I know that we are tired and scared (me too). But IT IS NOT INEVITABLE THAT WE ARE DOOMED. Not at all. Let's hang onto that and tell that anxiety doom voice to shove it.

Hugs.