#(I don't but my panicked brain thinks that)

[peppermintquartz]

Buck/Tommy prompt: Tommy finally realizing he *does* have a family with the 118

It's a Thursday afternoon when he dies.

He's not even on shift, that's the thing; he was in the gym training with a friend, and the next thing he knows five masked figures burst in, shouting at everyone to get down to the ground, and he's shielding Jacob when one of them fires a spray in their direction.

The bullets don't land anywhere fatal so he doesn't die immediately, but that means it hurts like a bitch, and he can feel his extremities growing cold. He sees the five gunmen race out the other door. Jacob is panicking, pressing his gym towel on the stomach wound but not exerting enough strength to hold back the blood loss; Lizzie is screaming at someone to hurry; Tommy thinks, Fuck, on the day I beat my personal best too.

His vision is darkening around the edges. Breathing is difficult. Maybe a punctured lung from shrapnel, who knows?

The coroner will, his brain supplies, a joker to the very end.

He hears sirens. Vaguely, he wonders if who's going to tell Evan.

Sorry, baby. Didn't mean to make you cry. Tommy lets go of the vestiges of the breath he's been struggling to hold onto.

"Tommy?" He knows the voice. Wow, God really has a shitty sense of humor. "Tommy!"

At least that's the last thing he'll hear before he dies. Tommy tastes blood in his mouth, and everything stops.

Death, it turns out, is a welcoming silence.

--

He wakes up in fits and starts.

When he is finally, mostly conscious, he feels someone holding his right hand. And there are two people talking.

"...I think he's back with us again," one of the voices say. "Mr Kinard?"

Call me Tommy. Mr Kinard is my asshole dad.

"Tommy?"

Now Tommy smiles. That's the right name. He blinks, each eyelid approximately seven thousand tons. Dimmed lights, two shadowy figures, one in a white coat and the other in navy.

"Guess... G'd dint like... my crack 'bout. Sense of humor."

"What the fuck," says Navy. He scoots closer and Tommy can see his face clearly. Boyishly handsome, with light brown curly hair, a birthmark. Red-rimmed eyes. "Tommy. Tommy, god."

"Hey." He can't remember Navy's name. "Dry."

White Coat hands over a small cup. Navy puts an ice chip on Tommy's lips, and Tommy draws it into his mouth for the relief.

Evan. Not Navy. Evan.

White Coat comes close, and Tommy wants to protest. He wants to hold Evan's hand and kiss his sad little pout away.

"You can do that later when you're better," said White Coat. He shines a light into Tommy's eyes - ow - and taps him in various places, and then it's just Tommy and Evan again.

Evan stands and leans down to kiss Tommy's brow. "Go to sleep. I'll let everyone know you pulled through."

Tommy wants to ask, but sleep pulls him under.

--

They come to visit, singly or in pairs.

"Glad you're still breathing," Eddie says. He sits on the side of the bed. "Chris says that if you die, he'll hit you with his crutches. And they hurt, let me tell you that."

Hen and Karen visit with their kids that same day. Denny asks if Tommy can teach him and Mara to draw. "I liked yours the most of all the art on my cast."

Bobby comes by, scowls at the bland food, and says, "I'm glad you're still with us, kid." Tommy tears up, and allows himself to cry silently. Bobby only holds his hand and pats the back of it.

Donato and Melton come by with a bunch of balloons, all chosen for maximum obnoxiousness. The bright pink and yellow one that proclaims "It's a GIRL!" is Tommy's favorite.

He gives that balloon to Chimney when he comes by, telling him to give it to Jee. Chimney punches the side of Tommy's leg. "Count your lucky stars it isn't Maddie here. They'd never even find your body."

--

Maddie shows up with Evan the day after to take Tommy home to recover from his three bullet wounds.

"Three shots and you only get three days?" Evan is outraged.

"Flesh wounds except for the one through my lower left abdomen," Tommy reminds him, already tired. "Plus, I signed myself out." Then, taking a nervous breath, he says, "Hi Maddie."

Maddie glares at him. "You're lucky I wasn't the one holding the gun."

Tommy winces, ducks his head. "I'm sorry."

Evan rolls his eyes. "Standing right here, Maddie."

"I warned him about breaking your heart," she says grumpily, but she takes the duffel bag of Tommy's stuff.

Tommy leans back in his wheelchair as Evan rolls him out towards freedom. "How much groveling to make to earn your sister's forgiveness?"

"See how long you'll grovel for mine, and multiply that by ten."

"Oh shit."

"...that'd be about half a hour, I guess."

"For you or for her?"

Evan wrinkles his nose at him, but his smile is still sunshine. His hand lands on Tommy's shoulder and squeezes. "You and I need a good talk. And this time, you can't run."

Tommy dares to touch Evan's hand. "Okay."

[elisedonut]

just had the dumb thought of a time traveling Percy looking Penny dead in the eye and saying

Penny you are a lesbian. Thats why this feels so strange to you.

[gremzon]

I might have OCD actually

[thethingything]

okay so my current dilemma is that it's 4am, I can't lift up the mattress to put the bed slats back into place on my own, I did manage to lift it up enough to look at them and realised there are way more slats out of place than I thought and some are bent as if they've been out of place like that for a long time, and I think we're gonna have to take the mattress off the bed, but there's nowhere we can put it that won't result in our contamination OCD getting triggered really badly because putting it on the floor will trigger that and I don't know what the fuck we're gonna do. we're also probably gonna have to sleep before we can fix this but idk if continuing to sit or lay on the bed is a bad idea for the time being and I think I also just fucked up our back by trying to lift the mattress

[ndcgalitzine]

I just quit my job 🙃 someone save me I'm having a panic attack 😱

[katyspersonal]

Also @ to anon (or maybe there are two of you? :p) sending me new ER and DS asks almost daily!

I really appreciate the interest and I hope I will be able to get to all of them eventually! You are so kind for this! It is just not only focus and time stuff.. I am also catastrophically unpopular all things considered and not used to attention and interest in my opinions beyond same couple of friends sending me things! Sometimes I even get anxiety and bail on a conversation I myself started when another person shows genuine engagement in it, because I am just not used to it;; Or I remember I once bailed on the idea of drawing doodle requests because I didn't expect to get many of them and got shy

I don't take attention and curiosity for granted at all! It is the opposite problem: I am so used to having to do various attention-seeking and people-pleasing behaviors to get even minimal interaction that I never know how to react when someone shows an interest first, let alone when people want to know my opinions as I literally just sit here and do nothing hjghjjgjhh All this is just to say, I am very thankful but if I am ever too slow or negligent it is not because something was wrong. Brain just starts to lag in unfamiliar situations -_-" Again, it applies to all manners of frozen convos and "ignored" positive interactions, not just asks!

[fitzselfships]

I have been having really upsetting dreams lately (had one last night that has been Really bothering me) so I'm going to try cuddling with my Zooble plush since I usually don't have dreams like that when I sleep with them

[repressionmd]

please please please please please please please (I'm being very normal about this idea and I didn't even go ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ inside my head very loudly when I saw these tags (I'm very lying))

SHFJFKFH okay!!! on it boss!! o7 <- salute

[running-in-the-dark]

I have about two hours until I'll be too tired to think. I have to send the new exposé for my thesis to my advisor this morning (not an official deadline but it basically is).

I haven't written a single word yet. not one. sooo it's going great!

I cleaned my desk - that was very helpful and I should have done it first, but it felt like a waste of time. which is stupid because I know myself - I can't focus when there's stuff lying all around me. I also started reading the book on how to write a thesis that I got a few weeks ago. it's very very helpful. should have started reading it when I got it. but I didn't, so, yeah. this is where I'm at rn.

I'll go back to watching study with me videos (I forgot how much those help 😭)/having them on in the background, and try to get something done before I fall asleep.

[thefirstlie]

reminding myself that no, i do not need to inundate myself with graphic war videos and pictures as "punishment" for being at school all day and hearing nothing about it

[ivy-saurs]

okay i should probably stop queuing posts and go to bed now :(

[cannibalisticskittles]

grousing about my research paper when my sister came home, stressing about how i really need to be working on it and spending a lot of time on it and I'm anxious to get it done.

she asks me when it's due

october 18th, i say

i'll fucking kill you, she says

[mrsmarlasinger]

Chest tight and I'm sick to my stomach thinking about how OTHER PEOPLE do THEIR laundry

[gayness-and-mayhem]

Think I might have just accidentally let on to my dad that I've been reading gay Endeavour fanfiction. Shit.

[born-to-lose]

It's a mental breakdown *du du duuu duuuuu du du du du duuuu"