#(I am actively going insane)

[zephyr-ro-emenki]

TFW You check one of your favorite tags only to find out one of YOUR OWN POSTS IS IN THE TOP 5 WHEN YOU SORT BY "TOP POSTS" OF THAT TAG!?!?!?!?!?!

Me rn: "I am being very Neyrotypical about this information."

Also me rn:

[derangedtransguy]

I feel so mentally ill. I can feel my brain chemistry changing. The same thing happened after I watched Hannibal. I need to be put down.

[starzknight]

Converted my friends to Epic the musical and now i live in fear of them finding out about my manwhore au arts...IF ANY OF YOU FIND ME NO I AM NOT WHO YOU THINK I AM, I'LL NEVER TALK ABOUT THEM AND FOREVER DENY ANY CLAIMS OF OWNERSHIP

[chipsartist]

TMAxHannibal Art!

hello hi i have drawn little sketches of hannibal characters in the magnus archives universe. it is violently color coded i hope you enjoy!!

Abigail Hobbs!

i put her as a victim of the buried because i associate the buried with family trauma + her father's love being the thing that kills her is soo. hnnnnnnnn.

i also put her as an avatar of the hunt because. well girl loves to hunt. she said the best time she ever had was hunting with her father and then pushed alana bloom out a window (she was just feeling silly)

Freddie Lounds!

avatar of the eye! i dont feel the need to explain myself.. the eye would LOOVE freddie lounds.

Bedelia Du Maurier!

shes a victim of the web in that she was very much manipulated by hannibal.

avatar of the slaughter; the suddenness with which she shoved her arm down her patient's throat, her discussion with will graham about her desire to crush the vulnerable wounded bird, she just looooves meaningless acts of extreme violence. and good for her!

Will Graham!

victim of the spiral in like a. season 1 encephalitis spiral at hannibal's behest way.

avatar of the hunt! will graham is so very eye-coded with his empathy thing (thus the green halo), but i feel like his desire and ability to do harm comes from the hunt (shooting GJH, killing randall tier, his justification of his violence as justice and righteousness, biting cordell, etc.).

Hannibal Lecter!

the man himself. he's the only special little guy who gets to be an avatar of multiple fears. spiral because he loves making his patients go insane and/or kill people. flesh because of the cannibalism. web because he is so manipulative

victim of the desolation because of lithuania, mischa.

Eva! (the mom-figure killer in Ouef)

avatar of the buried! under appreciated for her brand of murder. once again chose the buried for family trauma! her love of the boys, forcing them to kill to be a part of her family, etc. etc.

Francis Dolarhyde!

victim of the buried. ok so either there is too much family trauma in this show or i have been a biiit heavy handed with this, but francis dolarhyde's abuse made me put him as a victim of the buried.

avatar of the dark. okay so he would be so mad that i put him as an avatar of the dark and not the hunt but thats fine he wont see this. his use of the cover of the night to go into houses and kill (he IS the monster in the dark), his desperation and inability to be "seen" by those he 'changes', his moon fixation. he's silly!!

Elliot Buddish!

victim of the end/avatar of the end. this one is pretty self explanatory tbh, knowing you are dying of brain cancer + killing for metaphysical guardianship is so end-coded.

also i wanted to make the end drawing completely black and white but the drips of blood being white just ended up looking.... pretty gross...

anywayys

anyways. a lot of these have lots of tracing in them please dont be disappointed i am not a visual artist by trade i just had severe characteritis and needed to get it out

[stillness138]

"damn bitch you live like this?" but it's me @ german beurocracy

[pyxy-styx]

Actually sobbing I fucking hate words

Why is quirked spelled like that?

I hate it so much

[nyxistic]

It is two in the fucking morning right now and I am having way too much fun with the booping-

[lavendermoon48]

i am going to bite someone

[egophiliac]

Final manifestations for Book 7?

I'm trying REALLY hard not to build up any solid expectations, because I wanna go in ~fresh~! they're already so far away from anything I thought would happen (not in a bad way, I'm just accepting that I'm on Miss Yana's Wild Ride at this point and we're seeing this thing through 'til the end, by gum). so it's nothing too major, but:

they've been handing new crying expressions out like candy lately, I want to see some delicious Malleus tears.

honestly I want everyone to cry buckets. their tears sustain me. the more Silver angst specifically I get the happier I am.

SILVER!!!! 👏 VANROUGE!!!! 👏

just let him have this. the poor boy's been through so much. let him have his big "I'm proud of you, son" moment with Lilia.

I'm 100% expecting Grim's arc (and probably whatever's going on with Crowley) to be its own episode, but a nice hook to leave us hanging on would be good!

a nice hook though, please, I don't think I can take another "Grim is attacking us! now wait eight months to find out what happens :)" cliffhanger...

some Meleanor? as a treat? just a little bit, a tiny quick flashback or something, please Twst I just, I just want to see her again. let her have a little ghost cameo like Dawnathan Knight got. Lilia and his kids are all having their big group hug or whatever and she can gently fade in to be all like

(turning asks off until I'm done playing, SEE YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE Y'ALL)

[andro-dino]

I still need to jorqueen out and I did catch up on the things I was on a crunch for but unfortunately for me I did that right before school started back up for me and now I am Dying so I STILL have like zero time to draw what I want to and I am STILL GNAWING AT THE BARS OF MY ENCLOSURE GRGGRGRGRGR SOMEONE GET ME OUT OF HEREEEEEEEEE

rewatching icebound bc I still love them and I still miss them and GAWWDDDDDDDD THE JORQUEEN OF IT ALL. Ik I never shut the fuck up about them BUT THEY ARE VERY IMPORTANT TO ME AND THEIR MOMENTS IN THE EARLY EPS MAKE ME SOOOOOOOOOOO 💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞 AGGGGGGGGGG

I am gnawing at the bars of my enclosure bc I have other things that I genuinely need to draw and get done bc I’m on a time crunch for them BUT AS SOON AS I GET CAUGHT UP ON ALL THAT. AS SOON AS I FINISH WHAT I NEED TO FINISH. I AM SO DRAWING MORE OF THEM I NEED MORE OF THEM IN MY LIFE

[mamawasatesttube]

"oOoOohhh kon is just sooooo sad about tim/ber for forever and he's pining but he's trying soooOOoo hard to be happy for his best friend and it's just sOoOooo tragic and bittersweet that tim/kon never worked out and he's sooo sad for life--" im actually going to start beating you people over the head with a brick made out of all 100 issues of superboy (1994) until you start to comprehend that kon is a character on his own whose life does not revolve around tim. jesus fucking christ

[iamhereinthebg]

I had the slow realization that when we will finally be on the real reveal that "oh yes everything in this manga is only here for the poor Yugi boys uwu. And the mysteries and all plots are just here to make the twins story shine" the manga will have lost me entirely lol

We are so close to a clock keeper's backstory but atp it would be foolish to think that the Yugis won't have something to do with it or its reveal and honestly I am just sad :'))) I know the manga is around Hanako and Tsukasa but doing the biggest fxk you to all your other characters for the main three is insane to me

I am still happy we got tbhk and all the character ofc, just really sad to see in which direction it has been going for some time (it started around chap 96 for me rip)

[kranverry]

A GOOD ONE. IT WAS A WORTHY SACRIFICE MY GUY MY DUDE MY BOY MY BABY MY EMO IS ALIVE AND THAT IS ALL THAT MATTERS

We got Akutagawa August, but at what cost

[iamespecter]

Sorry for not being as active as I used to be y'all, I haven't been on here because I've been pouring most of my focus into finishing a backlog of commissions and it has unfortunately left me with no energy to interact and socialize here lol

For the past week alone I've been working on this BEAST of a comm, and both me and my setup had a bit of a technical difficulty with just how BIG this specific commission was, in terms of details and quite literally file size too (this was originally a 5000x3000 piece, which caused a lot of black screens and me waiting for my PC to catch up everytime a 15-minute autosave was happening)

I feel like me suddenly being inactive was a necessary thing as well because as much as I don't want to admit it, my socials have been a bit... distracting... in this pursuit, and I am realizing a very concerning problem. And as such, I had to cut off and limit the amount of times I will be present here in an effort to exert self-control and instill discipline on myself.

I do not have anything new to show unfortunately, and may continue to NOT be able to show anything Digital Circus AU or fandom content at all, so all I can say is I'm sorry is this post is disappointing news because you followed me for that kinda thing.

Also I got a tooth infection(?) and a pink eye lol, how fun /s (don't worry though, I'm still fine and not really in a painful situation, just a minor inconvenience)

[embryoed]

Me when I see ppl saying Makoto is bland and has no personality like my guy do you realize that being kind, selfless, and forgiving are all strong personality traits

[kiyomitakada]

what if kiyomi was the first Kira and misa was still second Kira

i wonder!

(bleh that's one of my older ficlets it's before i realized L is polite to literally everyone except light… so it ought to be takada-san but that's fine.)

anyway this ^ was my first attempt at the idea but it has been plaguing me for months and it looks very different in my head now. here are some Thoughts:

kiyomi as first kira

kiyomi is a very outspoken character who is relegated to the most passive position in the narrative. i don't think this was intentional, i think it was Misogyny of the Author, but it is very interesting to me in the context of this AU. i imagine she picked up the notebook fully intending to throw it away but hung onto it for instincts unknown (light also says in canon that "that notebook has a power that makes you want to try it"; i don't really subscribe to the idea that the notebook controls you but i feel like it's fair enough to say it has some kind of weak draw), and then didn't try it until ryuk showed up and she freaked out.

ryuk would be like well if you don't want to use it then just give it back to me. kiyomi "superiority complex" "control freak" takada refuses immediately. i think she'd rather die than get her memory wiped (i have not thought far enough to get to yotsuba arc yet. don't worry about it) and the idea that ryuk dropped it randomly and giving it back might result in some ~mass murderer~ getting it would be horrifying to her.

so of course she has to use it.

i actually have a different post in my drafts about how i think each dn character would use the death note but here is what i have for her

kiyomi: picks up the death note out of curiosity, scoffs, fully intends to throw it away but forgets until ryuk shows up. at which point she starts killing specific government officials at a rate of about one per day (she can't stomach indiscrete killing the way the others can). all the officials are found with a fingerprint-less knife stuck in their chest, so the police suspect a mundane serial killer, but no level of protection has been enough to save any of them yet. kiyomi probably tries to make them write down political demands as her "calling card" and then gets mad when she can't do that (the death note doesn't allow people to write things they don't know). instead she has to send tapes to sakura tv, where she interns, to get her manifesto out. the one time a knife isn't immediately available, the death note makes the politician die of a heart attack, which the media naturally attributes to stress. but Something Feels Off to L… do you know how much i would pay for the protagonist kiyomi takada version of death note do you KNOW she'd be so insane in a completely different way

i stand by this. kiyomi is way more politically minded than light, she talks to him and mikami about supporting kira entirely of her own volition, her first move when light tells her to start airing her own opinions is to talk about how she thinks the education system should start teaching kids about kira and how kira should instruct the army on how to act. kiyomi takada is fucking terrifying. Do Not Let This Girl Into The Government.

"but she supports the canon kira so wouldn't she act like him?"

well the problem is kiyomi has the intention but never has the resolve until pressed

(i have the manga panels to prove this but i can't be bothered to dig them up right now. sorry. One Day i will write a full kiyomi analysis and it will even be decent)

in this way she is much like chapter 1 light yagami. light going on a murder spree because he thinks his soul is about to be taken = kiyomi shaking and bloody in the back of mello's truck thinking i have to judge as many people as possible right now.

so in this scenario, since she didn't start killing until ryuk showed up and explained things to her, kiyomi is not motivated by fear for her life but rather fear for her memory + her canon support for killing everyone + "if someone else had this they'd do much worse than me" (just like light, with that one) (who else would have the guts?). so she does kill people but not as many. she puts thought into each one. ideally she wants to kill as little as possible for maximum impact.

i think she wavers between staging these deaths as suicides (invoking the societal stigma around them & so that there would naturally be a suicide note, etc) or making them obvious murders and would eventually go with the latter because she . also has a god complex. i mean nooo obviously it's because politicians will be more scared if they know someone's out there to get them!

anyway

what the fuck does the first arc look like

kiyomi imo gets just as mad as light does about being called evil. but unlike light she has more experience being called a cold bitch, snake, little miss perfect, etc, so she sees lind l tailor and does deep breathing exercises because killing him on air would do nothing but traumatize generations of children

so basically the broadcast ends and nothing happens until sometime around midnight lind l tailor drops dead of a heart attack

interpol was originally very mad at L for staging this whole thing because he has far less evidence that the killings are supernatural in this one, but they're kind of creeped out by this because of that other politician who had a heart attack — tailor was in the prime of his health and everything (L picked the death row inmate with the least history of cardiac disorders)

anyway [sighs really hard] this whole plot has to be reworked from the bottom up because kiyomi doesn't have access to police information and, unlike light, is not invested in The Game as much as she is societal change, so she wouldn't want to draw L out and eliminate him in the first place.

(i think kiyomi and light share the same fundamental loneliness in their souls — "if you were smarter this could've been interesting" / "you're the only man i've ever actually admired" — but kiyomi is drawn not just to intelligence but to people who share her principles, whereas light is drawn to people who can beat him at his own game. this is one area where they are different! thank god!)

(you could argue kiyomi is too, considering her reaction to misa, but her immediate response when misa starts getting under her skin is trying to leave)

(and besides i'm not even sure if kiyomi ever realizes lind l tailor was a scheme. like presumably she knows L is still alive and panics the day after when L is like hi. im still here. but since her killing was time-delayed L might not be able to get as much information and so he has no reason to gloat.)

anyway kiyomi's not giving L any clues so basically things are going to be a lot harder for L

but she's also going to spread kira's message through news stations so…………… more information source there? better not fuck up with that voice modulator kiyo

misa as second kira

oh thank god, l lawliet thinks, a development, i was about to die of stagnation

thankfully no matter how things shake out in first arc i think misa would still try to use the tv stations & the fake diary to get to kira, so that doesn't change. although since kira's voice is already becoming established she might have to do it in a more roundabout way (remember she also didn't want the cops to figure out she wasn't the first kira)

maybe this is how we can get manga misa to sing i'll only love you more????

anyway. they meet in aoyama, still. kiyomi went for the same reason light did: she has to size up her threat (see: inviting misa to dinner)

light & kiyomi significant difference no. 2: perceived gender

misa voice kira is a GIRL?!?!?!?!

she still buys all the information she can get on kiyomi. ("kiyomi takada… what a boring name.") (fun fact kiyo's pretty much the only character in death note with an entirely normal name; this is why her death is so shocking)

so misa shows up at her house all casual-like

light & kiyomi significant difference no. 3: where light's thought is "this girl isn't as stupid as i thought" kiyomi's thought is "this girl is the most dangerous person i have ever met"

like as far as kiyomi knows L is kind of useless. misa is the first direct challenge she has ever faced. misa can kill just by looking at a person. misa has a death note and she is sure as hell not giving it to kiyomi.

because if you interpret kiyomi this way, she hasn't avenged misa's parents

(i wonder if i could come up with a reason for her to do that because i admit the whole misa arc doesn't make as much sense otherwise… but let's assume not for now)

so why does misa want to meet up with her anyway?

well. who else is there who would understand.

anyway i kind of picture them close to this yagamane dynamic (sorry yagamane i'm stealing your valor). misa doesn't have any reason to be grateful to kiyomi, but she does want to be useful still, wants to have a purpose. wants to have people she can talk to in perfect honesty, but also has kiyomi's real name dangling over her head at all times and wants her to know that

also. crucially. she wants to have a perfect family because of course she does. in canon light is her gateway to this: by becoming his girlfriend she can integrate into the family dynamic. calls soichiro her dad, calls sachiko her mom… but this doesn't work with kiyomi because she's a girl and misa, as we all know, is totally one hundred percent heterosexual.

so. so:

Kiyomi sighs. "Okay. I… I suppose it's a deal." "Yay!" Amane jumps up and flings her arms around Kiyomi's neck; she's warm and unexpectedly bony and smells like artificially flavored shampoo and Kiyomi's heart spasms in her chest. It's been a long time since anyone's hugged her like this. She's a mature young woman and that means she doesn't hug people. "You won't regret this, Kiyo-chan!" "I am already," Kiyomi mutters. It's far too mean, far too revealing, but — oh, who cares, Amane already knows she's a serial killer. Amane's triumphant smirk as she pulls away carves its way into her skin regardless: she knows Kiyomi didn't mean to say that. "I'm so happy," Amane keeps going, patting her dress down like she's worried Kiyomi's gotten lint on it. "I've always wanted a little sister!" Kiyomi stares. "What." The look Amane casts her is pitying. "Didn't you know? You're a year younger than me." "That is not the problem here," Kiyomi hisses. (It is sort of the problem.) "I'm an only child!" "I know," Amane says very patiently, "I bought all your records, remember? I'm an only child too!" Is this a bonding moment? Is Kiyomi finally experiencing Lady Macbeth insanity? "We don't look anything like each other," she points out. "If you're planning on another disguise—" Amane rolls her eyes. "Ugh, you're so serious all the time. Lighten up a little! I'm joking! We can just be sisters from different mothers, or whatever they say. Together forever, you know? Through thick and thin? You won't die on me, will you?" Kiyomi, being an only child, is not entirely sure what having a sibling is like, but she's pretty sure the rage(?) coiling in her stomach isn't it. "…Not unless you kill me." Amane smiles. It's not as wide as usual. "Well, that's a start."