#(I AM LEGIT NOT LYING YOU GUYS)

[snootlestheangel]

What it's Like Having A Twin

Y'all having a twin is a fucking trip sometimes

Especially when y'all ain't even the same gender.

Cause earlier this week, I was really stressed before my interview for a new job (which I got!!) and he was trying to ask me something. Here's the interaction.

He just "when does the uhhh-" *drifts off with a weird sound*

Me, without skipping a beat: "Tomorrow 2pm our time."

He started laughing and I wasn't really paying attention. Then he told me, he was like "You do realize that there was nothing in what I said that indicated what I was gonna ask you about, right?"

I just instinctively knew that he was asking about the second part of a series of videos we're watching comes out.

Guys... nothing in our conversation would have told you that. We couldn't stop laughing about it all day, it was hilarious.

THEN

Today! Our mom texts both of us asking "You guys are seeing a movie tonight, right? What movie?"

To which, we both, at the same time, respond. I stated "Tonight, 8:30, yes. Five Nights at Freddy's movie" and he with "Five Nights at Freddy's, it is tonight"

We hadn't seen each other nor spoken to each other all day. It is currently 1pm. I heard him sigh after we both sent the texts AT THE SAME TIME, and I just lost it. I started laughing really hard and he just, from his room next to mine goes "FUCK!"

I can't this is just too funny

Instantly cured of all ailments. Period? Never had an issue with her in my life, I am fine. Sensory Issues? Depression? Nope, not in this household

[thecustomcosplayed]

i really hope for Witchcraft SMP, Lauren really leans into lore and like a more dark/actual backstory. Because when you see her character and general vibes, you wouldn’t expect much lore from her? But the almost foreshadowing line of ‘I hope you don’t betray me!’ when she met Joey? Like... seriously, if that isn’t her setting up a villain arc, I really don’t know what is??? I think she’s the type of person to leave little hints of lore in her videos. Enough strings to grasp onto and connect bit by bit, and every now and then she’ll just drop a huge bombshell casually on us. I am super hyped to see where she goes with this, because in Afterlife SMP, we didn’t get to see too much lore for her, considering the series ended when she was on her... what, 5th death? 6th, maybe? All I’m saying is I really want a Lauren arc where Joey betrays her and she just goes like. batshit crazy. feral, insane even. Like, can you imagine your dearest and first friend betraying you?? So TLDR; Lauren villain arc where she drops tiny bits of lore here and there please

[kaidatheghostdragon]

Found this while going through my fanfic files, and i absolutely had to share.

Danny: i want in

Red robin: …what?

Danny: your bat family. I want in.

Red robin, blinking in surprise: i dont know what you think you know about my associates, but we're not-

Danny: dont be obtuse. I know youre the smart one. And i also know that your all one big relatively happy family. I want in.

Red robin: …why?

Danny: because you guys are the first people ive found that are wealthy, intelligent and powerful enough to take on my fruitloop godfather and win AND are decent enough human beings that i can be assured that when all is said and done, my well-being will remain a top priority.

Orphan, appearing out of nowhere: new brother!

Danny: *stares in shock*

Danny: *sudden uncanny grin* well that's one convinced. How do i win over the rest?

Orphan: no need. New brother!

Red robin: *pointed glance of betrayal* fine. Who is your godfather?

Danny: vlad masters. He's a fruitloop.

Red robin: for real? B's been investigating him for years! Tell me everything! *genuinely excited for a new lead*

Danny: well, he's tried to murder my dad and marry my mom, gained his wealth illegally, committed voting fraud to become the mayor of my hometown, has a secret underground lab where he does unethical experiments, and he's abducted me more than a dozen times even before my parents disowned me to make me his evil apprentice or whatever. Now that im homeless, he's literally out to get me. Oh! And he's cloned me too! She's cool though, we're buddies now.

Batman, who just arrived but heard everything over comms: hn. (Translation: who are you?)

Danny: my name is Danny. No last name anymore, but im hoping itll soon be Wayne! *winking suggestively*

Batman: hn? (how much do you know?)

Danny: enough to know that youre a much better alternative to vlad.

Batman: …hn (i dont know anything about you. What if youre a spy for vlad?)

Danny, giving his salesman pitch: i was a teen vigilante in amity park before i had to run away from home for my own safety. Vlad is one of my rogues. I know how to fight and defend myself, how to minimize collateral damage in a fight, and ive gotten really good and escaping kidnapping attempts. Ive also managed to reform and/or make allies out of approximately half of my rogues and can talk down about 30% of all rogue confrontations before they turn into a messy fight. The other things i can bring to the table are: one, i can teach all of you guys proper liminality self care; two, i can probably minimize and possibly cure red hood's anger issues; three, i can get along with stabby robin because i consider fighting a friendly social interaction - he can even stab me and i wont be injured by it; four, i can be your go-to guy for supernatural cases so you no longer have to deal with that sad trenchcoat man; five-

Red robin: *blurting* youre hired.

Batman: hn (i am deeply concerned)

Danny: if youre concerned now, wait until i tell you about the anti ecto control act

Nightwing, who showed up in the middle of the sales pitch: ive never seen anyone crack B's grunt language so quickly

Danny: grunt language? He's just using ghost speak - which will be covered by the liminality self care lessons

Robin, who arrived with batman: what is a liminal?

Danny: all of you, of course! Otherwise you wouldnt need to learn about it, obviously

Robin: and why would we trust you?

Danny: did i mention i have a pet ghost dog?

Robin: …you drive a hard bargain

Danny, fist pumping: yes! That's three!

Nightwing: four, you got me when you could understand B's grunting

Red Hood, arrived with nightwing: five, assuming you arent lying about the pit rage

Danny, hand to his chest: i would never!

Orphan: honesty. Earnest. New brother.

Oracle, over comms: six. The anti ecto acts are legit and im terrified for his safety, assuming he's phantom, who is the vigilante of amity park

Spoiler, arrived with orphan: seven, as long as youre down for a few pranks

Batman: hn (ive been outvoted)

Batman: hnn (i dont wanna hear any jokes about adoption habits when you all forced my hand)

Batman: hn (that said)

Batman: welcome to the family

Duke, the next day: man, i miss out on everything exciting.

Duke, blinded by danny: and who the fuck told bruce he could adopt the fucking sun?!

[rensukepie]

Lorord do u have anythjng… to say abt Aiku and niou…. They’re so fine but i legit cannot find a single other person going crazy abt niou on here Guys comeon… THEY’RE BOTH SOOO BIG AND STRONGG if u have Anyything abt size kink or manhandling i think i’d genuinely go fuckinf Insane .,,,,

aiku + niou size kink/manhandling :3

a/n : IM SO SORRY @aikuposer FOR TAKING SO LONG ON THIS… (I made niou’s part longer for you :3)

minors dni

nsfw under the cut

oliver aiku

you knew how big and strong your boyfriend was even before you dated him.

sometimes, you’d see him playing soccer in the fields with a couple of his friends or you’d spot him in the gym lifting a crazy amount, which would keep you up at night with your tiny fingers inside of you, thinking about how easy you could be for him to carry around, or how he could just pick you up and press you against a wall to fuck his cock into you right there, or if his cock would show a bulge in your stomach.

….

“ah- a…aiku…you’re too big f’me..” your eyes are all glossy because of him! you can’t even count the amount of times he’s made you cum already. but right now, all you care about is his big cock plowing in and out of your tight cunt. so much so that you’re practically creaming all over it!

“mm… you say that every time I fuck you doll.. but you like how big i am, don’t you? you’re fucking creaming all over my dick like a slut.”

it’s almost as if he could read your face.

“y..yeah… feels so good… gonna cum again..”

“cum for me baby.. show me how good i make you feel…”

….

of course, he’ll treat you right after all of that! starting you a nice bath and possibly another round :3!

kazuma niou

“n…niou.. mm! ffuckkk…”

as one of his friends, you had agreed to help him forget about his girlfriend who broke up with him recently. but for some reason, you’re now in his bedroom and you don’t know how or when it happened!

you hate to admit it, but you always thought niou was somewhat—no, very attractive. you couldn’t help it! there was so much tension between you too, and now the both of you are fucking in his bedroom.

he’s so strong! his arms and thighs are sooo big, you wonder if he could throw you around and just take you at any time… I mean, he’s a boxer, isn’t he?

“you’re pussy’s squeezing around my cock baby.. you wanted this huh?”

“n…no I didn’t..! haah— mm…”

“you can lie to me all you want, but this pretty pussy of yours tells me everything I need to know..”

soon after, he’s throwing you into a different position all with ease! lying you on top of him, squeezing your cute little ass while he thrusts his cock into you once again.

…..

the next time you see him, you both are at your apartment this time. your roommate went on a trip with her friends, so you both had the whole thing to yourselves.

he’s such a tease! licking and sucking at your pussy even if you’ve already came with both of his arms wrapped around your legs. he seriously can’t get enough of your sweet cunt, can he?

“n…niou! you’re so mean… haah—…”

“sorry cutie… can’t help it… your cunt is s��sweet and cute…”

….

[2knightt]

Hiiii! Can you do the outsiders gang with an s/o who models I feel like that would be interesting :)

↳but i’m into it, i’m into it.₊˚✧

➬ the gang x model!fem!reader

a/n;i love famous reader so much omfg. also, i love using chase atlantic lyrics for my titles. dont chase men, chase atlantic everyone.

Johnny Cade ;

believes that you are the most BEAUTIFUL person to walk the planet.

STRONGLY BELIEVES THAT.

probably thinks you’re too good for him.

PLEASE TELL HIM HE’S ENOUGH FOR YOU.

take him too your shoots and he will be blushing the whole time.

if you wear something that’s flattering to your body shape, he will explode right then and there.

“how do i look? should i fix my hair?”

“you look perfect.”

“you think?”

“…mhm.”

the gang seen you on a magazine cover and started freaking the fuck out.

“HOLY SHIT JOHNNY ISN’T THAT YOUR GIRLFRIEND?”

“WOAHHH!”

“jesus…does she have a sister?”

“guys please stop.”

cuts out your magazine covers/photo shoot pictures and keeps them in his jean jacket pocket.

not in a weird way, just in a way that when he’s sad and you aren’t around he can remind himself on how lucky he can really be.

Dallas Winston ;

oh my god he never shuts up about how he got the hottest model ever.

“yeah she’s pretty n all but, my girlfriends a model so.”

“that’s so cool that your chick is…like that! but mines a model, so, she’s just better.”

buys steals all your magazines/any photo shoot you do.

any guy thats talks about you in way dallas doesn’t like, gets knocked out.

“i’d hit that.”

“yeah?”

“yea—”

dead./j

no but he would pull all his strength in that punch.

the gang thought he kidnapped you because no way in hell a pretty girl like you would go after dallas winston.

“y/n, blink twice if you’re kidnapped.”

“raise your hand if you need help, dude.”

“guys, what the fuck is wrong with you?”

you’re legit, all he thinks about.

he’s so whipped for a model girlfriend, if you asked him to jump he’d ask how high.

genuinely believes you’re an angel, will NOT tell you that to your face though.

Ponyboy Curtis ;

he gets so nervous around you omfg.

his palms be sweating n shit, stuttering and everything.

“he-hey y/n.”

“oh, hey pony!”

uses his favourite photo shoot of yours as a book mark. i can feel it in me bones.

he giggles and kicks his feet when he looks at that bookmark btw

draws you?? i feel like that’s his favourite pass time.

IF HE HAS TO DESCRIBE A STORY IN ENGLISH HE WRITES ABOUT HOW HE MET YOU OMFG AND THE WAY HE’D DESCRIBE YOU IN THE ESSAY??/?!:;&

he’d be so sweet with his words when he talks about you. i cant i love him so much

the gang is lowkey jealous that the youngest one out of all of them pulled a model.

“hey, don’t you model?”

“yeah!”

“what.”

“how did ponyboy get a date with you?”

“…are you guys serious? am i that ugly to you guys?”

Sodapop Curtis ;

POWER COUPLE OH MY GOD I CAN’T.

you guys walking in the street together probably makes people pass out.

literally nobody was shocked that you guys started dating.

the prettiest girl for the prettiest boy, it was bound to happen, c’mon.

he probably got into modeling because of you.

OH MY GOD IMAGINE DOING A PHOTO SHOOT WITH HIM???

he asks for his favourite picture of you two from that shoot to be printed out larger for him so he can hang it in his room.

like dallas, he will punch a guy for you.

“she’s hot.”

“she has a boyfriend.”

“so?”

call 911 cause that guys gonna need it in a minute!

showed steve a picture of you before he introduced you to the gang.

“oh my god soda. why are you dating a literal model?”

“why not?”

“but what else did i expect, you get girls daily.”

Darry Curtis ;

honestly, he couldn’t care less about what you do for work.

if it brings in money, it brings in money.

but the gang sure as hell does!

“YO ISN’T THAT Y/N L/N?!”

“THE MODEL?”

“yeah? how do you guys know her?”

“HOW DO YOU KNOW HER?”

“she’s my girlfriend, soda. that’s why i brought her here.”

“WHAT??”

i’d be lying if i said darry didn’t carry around a head shot of you in his wallet.

he doesn’t brag, but when the chance to talk about you comes, he takes the chance.

“good for her. huh? oh—my girlfriend models. pretty popular.”

when he sees a magazine with you in it for sale, darry snatches it so fast.

compliments you after he seen it.

“i like your most recent shoot, the makeup suits you.”

“you think, darry?”

Steve Randle ;

rocked the whole world when you guys started dating.

DOESN’T SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT YOU.

“that’s so tuff soda, but y/n actually said—”

“nobody cares steve.”

“shut up and let me tell you what MY GIRLFRIEND said.”

STEVE HAS A PICTURE OF YOU TAPPED ON THE INSIDE OF THE TOP OF HIS TOOL BOX.

takes you on dates 24/7 just to show you off.

sometimes he lets go of your hand to see if anyone would flirt with you so he can punch them.

gang thought he held you hostage when you started dating ngl.

“you can do so much better, y/n.”

“dallas, shut the fuck up.”

“i’m just sayin’.”

“i will knock you out.”

Two-bit Matthews ;

HE’S SO WHIPPED FOR YOU IT’S DISGUSTING.

you have him giggling n shit.

his room is filled to the brim with photos of you.

not in a weird way, he just thinks you’re drop dead gorgeous.

tells you cheesy pickup lines, all the time.

“are you from Tennessee? cause you’re the only TEN I SEE! get it?”

would start a fan club for you if you asked nice enough.

introducing you to the gang was earth shattering for them.

“how??”

“what do you mean, ‘how?’”

“how did you pull her?”

“I PULLED HER WITH MY GOOD LOOKS AND CHARM, STEVE.”

“you’re so funny, two-bit.”

“like you falling flat on your fucking face yesterday?”

“YOU SAID YOU WOULDN’T TALK ABOUT THAT.”

may 24th, 2023. 11:30PM.

tag-list ;

@diorgirl444, @typereader 🧍‍♂️

[anticanonsposts]

sex toys, his thoughts, his opinions

nsfw-mdni (also, I'm writing everything in the poll, the poll just dictates the order)

when you told him that you wanted to introduce toys into your sex life he would be a little confused at first and his anxious thoughts would tell him that it was because you were unsatisfied with him 

but once you actually introduced him to things like vibrators and strokers he understood more 

he’s a guy with an ego so obvi he would rather just get you off himself with no aids 

BUT he comes to accept the cliche that your vibrator/clit sucker is his teammate and not his competition 

“babe you can’t vibrate and that’s ok” 

“but you like it and I can’t do it” bro gets POUTY 

that is until you use some of your toys on him…then he changes his mind a bit

you start out by using your vibrator on his tip and shaft and let's just say he likes it….

this leads to you introducing him to strokers

eventually you stretch a stroker around his dick and a vibrator so that it is pressing against him 

this makes him absolutely lose his mind 

he loves this set up when he is giving you head, it turns him into a groaning, whiny mess

this usually ends up with you being even more overstimulated than normal since he just gets lost in his own pleasure and rutting into the toys, so he gets tunnel vision and just keeps using his mouth on you

when it comes to other toys like restraints/clamps/paddles I am a firm believer that he is ok with any sort of ‘pain’ that your or his body can cause, ie spanking, scratching, biting but I really don’t think he’d be into getting hit with a paddle or hitting you with a paddle, or any similar apparatus

same goes for clamps and all other toys meant to cause discomfort or pain, he’s just not a fan 

now its a different story with restraints or sensory type toys

blindfold this man and any/every touch will make his body jolt with anticipation 

he really likes being blind folded and restrained while 69-ing

loves it when he’s lying on his back, hands tied/cuffed above his head, blindfold over his eyes, and your pussy is hovering over his face so that he has to chase it with his mouth 

all while you are torturing his dick with kitten licks and drool 

when you do switch it up and you’re the one restrained, he TEASES you to no end

he legit once tied your hands above your head and kissed/sucked/practically made out with your thighs for 15 minutes straight

your begs and whimpers got more and more insistent and assertive until you let out a very loud ‘NOW!’ and bro jumped and forgot his dominant role with a sheepish look up at you 

this made both o f you giggle for a bit before he resumed his role and finally gave your pussy some attention 

all in all, his mind at the beginning is pretty closed to sex toys, but this is mostly due to inexperience

once you show him the wonders they can give, he appreciates them for what they can do

(idc i will die on the hill that this man does not want to see you in any sort of pain)

[javierpena-inatacvest]

Chapter 17- No Ifs, Ands, or Butts

Summary: You and Javi are continuing to make progress on building your new house, until a few distractions are thrown your way that you definitely weren't expecting.

Word Count: 12.3K (how bad is it that I'm like, wow! What an average length for a chapter! Well done, me!)

Warnings: SMUT (18+), HELLO, STRAP IN EVERYONE. unprotected p in v sex (wrap it up irl pls), romantic? ANAL (you guys, I'm sweating), vaginal fingering, anal fingering, oral (f receiving), rimjob (f receiving), creampie, praise kink, breeding kink, insecurity but Javi being our consent KING and literally taking such good care of you (but would we expect anything less?!), Javi with dogs (hehehehe), everyone say thank you to our favorite village idiots Carter and Miller for helping out Javi and Osita (you'll see!!)

A/N: If there are two words to sum up the plot of this chapter, it is butts and dogs (if you watch Bluey, yes, the puppy is named after Muffin LMAO) 💀 I am so sorry this chapter took FOREVER, 1) Life has been crazy busy (parent teacher conferences sucked the life out of me for like a full week), and 2) I would be lying if I said I was not shakin' in my boots to post this bc I have never written legit butt stuff smut (say that 3 times fast) before and I know it's not everyone's cup of tea, so if you don't wanna read this chapter/skip the smut I will not be offended at all!! Also for my non-American friends, Home Depot is like a giant hardware store (that also sells hot dogs that absolutely slap) Okay, that's all, love y'all more than words, forehead kisses for all of you!! 😙 also please laugh at the name of this chapter I thought it was funny as hell, I'm crackin myself up

Series Masterlist Next Chapter Previous Chapter

“Okay, we have paint samples, countertop samples, carpet samples, sheets of drywall, toilets that are ordered can come get picked up on Tuesday, and we can let Danny know they finally have those screws he’s been looking for back in stock. That’s everything, right? Please say that’s everything.” You sighed, going over your home project to-do list for what felt like the 47th time before exiting out of Home Depot for what also felt like the 147th time this week. 

What had started as a plot of land and and a head full of ideas was slowly but surely becoming reality as progress on your new home came to fruition- as winter faded into spring, your house began to grow and change with the seasons, bare bones wooden beams and dirt of a few months ago now becoming walls, floors and roofs of the new place you’d spend forever in. While it was exciting to move into the stages of actually deciding what the inside of your home should look like (not just shape and size), it felt like you and Javi had been making a million and one decisions every day related to something to do with the house, and unfortunately, this Sunday night was no exception. 

“No, I think that’s everything.” Javi nodded, scanning over the wrinkled piece of paper in his hands once more. 

“We might as well just start changing our permanent address to this Home Depot. I’m pretty sure the employees are convinced we live here at this point.” You laughed, resting one hand on your hip, the other full of the sample swatches you and Javi needed to look at when you got home. “You sure that’s everything? Honestly, even if it’s not, let’s face it, we’ll be here some point later this week anyways. At least now it’s getting to the fun stuff- Paint and floors is a lot more fun than plumbing and electrical.” 

“I know. We’re almost there, Osita. Danny said 8 to 10 more weeks last time I talked to him.” 

“Over/under on how many more trips we make to Home Depot between now and then. I’m gonna say 56.” 

“You’re such a dork. I fucking hope it’s not 56.”

The two of you made your way out to the parking lot with hands full of goods, the sun slowly beginning to set behind the other buildings of the shopping center- a Chinese restaurant, a laundry mat, a building that had been under construction since your frequent trips to Home Depot began, and a pet store. 

You and Javi had tried the Chinese restaurant once, a few bites in simultaneously agreeing it was 100% the worst food you had ever had, never needed to go to the laundry mat, and god knows what the mystery building was getting turned into. You had, however, always wanted to go into the pet store, knowing it would be fun to walk around and look at the animals since it was something you loved doing as a kid with your brothers. But by the time the two of you were done with your hardware shopping, your brain was too fried to ever ask Javi if he wanted to go in and check things out as an entertaining thing to do. Tonight probably would have been no exception to the rule, but that was before you noticed the big sign posted in front of the store reading “Dog Adoption Event Today!” 

You and Javi had both agreed you had wanted to get a dog- that was something the two of you had easily agreed upon early on in your relationship- but like most things nowadays, you were waiting until the house was finished and you were out of the apartment before looking into getting one. You knew that going to look at dogs before the two of you could really do anything about it was a bad idea, but the longer you stared at that sign, the less and less willpower you began to have to keep yourself from running over there. 

“Jav.” You nudged, the two of you almost to Javi’s truck before stopping in your tracks, gesturing over to the pet store. Javi paused next to you, taking a moment to read the bright bold letters of the sign, letting out a deep sigh as he crossed his arms over his chest. 

“Baby, you know we can’t get a dog right now. Believe me, I want one too, but we gotta wait until the house is done first.” 

“I know. Can we just go look? Please?” While your puppy dog eyes were no match compared to Javi’s, you pouted your lip just about as far as it could go, batting your lashes at him with a pitiful frown on your face. You had no idea how Javi was ever going to be able to say no to your kids if he was already immediately caving from your silly, overexaggerated begging, let alone his own sweet brown eyes staring back at tiny versions of him. Regardless, right now, Javi’s lack of iron will was working in your favor, letting out another small sigh, contemplating for a moment before nodding his head in agreement. 

“Fine. But just looking, okay?” He muttered, almost as if he was trying to convince himself as much as he was trying to convince you. 

“Yes! Thank you! I promise, just looking… Probably.” You grinned, changing directions and speed walking across the parking lot towards the pet shop. Javi laughed to himself, shaking his head as he followed behind you. 

“I heard that.” 

As you walked through the front doors of the pet store, you were greeted with the sounds of high pitched barks and yaps, joining the few people gathered by the pen set up to contain the litter of what looked to be a mix of cattle dogs and something shorter and stumpier, the brown and cream speckled puppies bouncing and playing with the toys, blankets, and other littermates in the cage with them. You audibly let out a gasp as you looked down at the pure adorableness of the sweet little balls of fluff below you, squatting down next to the pen to get a better look at the group of puppies. 

“Oh my god, they’re so cute. Javi, they’re so freaking cute. Hi lil babies, aren’t you the most precious things ever?” You cooed, holding the back of your hand up to the cage for the playful puppies to sniff, their tiny bodies toppling over each other to smell you. 

As much as Javi wanted to be tough and strong willed to try and prove a point, you were right- these puppies were the cutest things he’d seen in a long time. Crouching down next to you, he glanced over, giving you the I told you this was a bad idea look that you knew you were bound to get from him the moment you saw the puppies. 

“They are really fucking cute.” Javi sighed in reluctant agreement, bringing his hand down by yours to try and pet some of the puppies through the cage. 

“Oh hi there! I see you two found the puppies!” An employee, an older woman with curly gray hair, smiled down at the two of you, gesturing towards the pen full of tiny, yapping pups. “Are you interested in adopting one?” You and Javi looked up at her, each of you letting out a deep breath before speaking at the same time, your answers lacking unison. 

“No.” 

“Maybe.” You quietly whispered under Javi’s no, letting out a little shrug, eyes darting away towards Javi to spare yourself from the eye roll you knew he was giving you from your response. “No, we’re not…” You finally agreed, giving another pouty, sad look to Javi. “We really want one, but we’re in an apartment right now and are moving into a house soon. We’re waiting until then to get one. Although these guys are making it very hard to keep it that way.” 

“I can understand that.” The woman laughed, a playful grin spread across her face, clearly sensing your willpower about the situation was much weaker than Javi’s. “Well, even if you’re not interested in adopting one right now, you’re more than welcome to pick them up or play with them! It’s good for them to practice being handled anyways.” 

“Don’t have to tell me twice.” Immediately, you stood up, bending over the edge of the pen to pick up one of the puppies closest to you, cuddling it against your chest as it squirmed and wiggled in your grasp. You sat bag down on the floor, cross legged as you cradled the puppy, eyes almost as wide and sweet as the dog you were now holding. “What’s this one’s name?” You asked the woman, carefully setting it down between your legs to let it bounce around. 

“That one is Muffin. He’s a feisty one, but a sweetheart.” She beamed, slowly bending down to pick up one of the stuffed toys in the cage, handing it over to Javi. Before you knew it, Muffin was scooting out of your lap and bolting over to Javi and the plush rabbit he was holding in his hands, making the both of you giggle at his goofy, floppy gallop. Javi held out the toy in front of him, a smile spreading across his face as Muffin bit down into the rabbit, shaking it in his mouth, tugging back at Javi’s grip on the stuffed animal. Any shred of stubbornness Javi was trying to hold out on was long gone, smiling and snickering just as wide as you as Muffin hopped into Javi’s lap, curling up with his toy in his mouth. 

Javi was like a little kid, practically giggling as he grabbed the stuffed rabbit and tossed it along the floor, watching Muffin slip and slide across the linoleum before pouncing on the toy and trotting back to Javi with it in his mouth. 

“Good boy! You’re smart, aren’t you?” Javi grinned, tugging at the toy before looking back at you and your look, screaming, So much for just looking, huh? without having to say a word. “He is really cute.” Javi admitted, trying his best to keep his composure from completely crumbling. The two of you stared at each other for a moment, giving each other the look that made you seriously contemplate if you were going home with a puppy today, until you looked back down at Muffin, now hunched over Javi’s foot, pee dribbling down his shoe. 

“Oh shit!” You grimaced, reaching up to pick up Muffin mid-stream, scooting him over to finish peeing on the floor instead of on Javi. 

“Oh my goodness, I am so sorry!” The woman gasped, grabbing some towels next to the cage, handing them off to Javi for him to wipe the pee off his shoe. “That is the thing with puppies, the potty training does take a while.” 

You were trying your best not to burst out into laughter as you picked Muffin back up, putting him back in the pen with the rest of his brothers and sisters, giving Javi and apologetic shrug at his current circumstances, knowing it was not helping your in any way shape or form to bring a puppy back to your apartment. “No it’s all good, no worries.” Javi smiled, wiping off his shoe with the towel and giving it a quick shake with a reluctant sigh, grounding him back in reality. 

“Can’t be any worse than stepping in a pile of cow poop.” You teased as Javi looked down in disappointment at his shoe, finally beginning to shake his head and laugh along with you. “Alright, you win, Mr. Reasonable. Muffin has made a very good case for no puppies at the apartment.” 

“Eventually baby, I promise.” Javi smirked, giving you a little nudge, the two of you waving goodbye to the cuteness corralled in the kennel behind you, finally making your way back to the car after your detour. 

Well… So much for that plan.  

“What about this one?” 

“Baby, I don’t know, at this point, they all just look like the same color.” You sighed, slumping your hand in your face, resting your elbow on the kitchen table where you and Javi sat, paint swatches spread across the wooden surface, among scattered samples of carpet, countertops and backsplash tiles. “I don’t think my brain can make any more house decisions tonight.”  

“Me either.” Javi huffed, reaching across the table to organize the paint sample cards into a pile next to the stack of other house things that now seemed to have a permanent home with you during dinner time. “I had no fucking idea there were so many goddamn shades of beige.” 

“It definitely doesn’t help that we’re trying to just pick through different shades of brown instead of fun colors.” You laughed, gathering the samples in front of you and stacking them in Javi’s pile as he stood up, pushing in his chair and making his way to the other side of the table where you sat, coming behind you to drape his arms over your shoulders, pressing a soft kiss into your hair as you leaned your head back into his chest, wrapping your arms around his to pull him closer. 

“Fun colors? What, you wanna paint the house purple, Hermosa?” Javi smiled, giving you a little shake in your chair making you giggle. 

“No, you dork. I was actually thinking more hot pink or neon green.” You retorted, giving Javi a nudge back tiling your head up towards him. “No, I don’t know, I know we want something neutral through the house but like, it’ll be fun to pick cute paint colors when we have kids and stuff.” 

Javi squeezed you a little tighter, his heart warming at the thought of when they’d get to do this again when there were actually kids in the picture to fill the empty rooms of their house. No matter how many times you and Javi talked about it, he was sure he’d never get over the fact that you wanted to have a family with him. It was a dream that had come and gone for him all those years ago, resigning himself to a life of simply surviving, even after he had returned home to Laredo. But now, the fact that dream was in reach, and undoubtedly in the near future had him beaming, knowing there was no one else in the world he wanted to spend the rest of his life and build a family with beside you, and that for some reason he still couldn’t quite comprehend, you felt the same way. 

While you had agreed that you would wait until you were married and your house was completely finished before you started trying and your birth control made its permanent home in the trash, with every day that he got closer to marrying you, finalizing your house and starting the newest chapter of your lives together, Javi couldn’t help but feel a want, no, a need, to start a family with you- to fulfill a purpose he so desperately craved to be a father. 

“Well…” Javi grinned, leaning back down to kiss your neck, his pecks becoming much more tender and slow with each press of his lips, “you could let me put a baby in you right now, and we could pick out fun paint colors along with the borning brown ones. Got a lot of rooms we need to fill and paint, Osita.”

“Javier Peña! You are a menace! You have to stop with the baby talk, or I swear, you’re about to make me cave in and crumble. You are testing every ounce of willpower I have.” You sighed, shaking your head as you looked up, entranced by Javi’s sweet brown  eyes and their powerful effects. 

While you and Javi both had undeniable cases of baby fever ever since you had gotten engaged, there was something about knowing you were about to have your own house with 4 extra rooms, solely built for the purpose of being filled with your kids that drove you, and even worse, Javi, absolutely crazy. In the past few weeks, the house had taken shape enough to finally have rooms that actually looked like rooms, Javi making it a point every time the two of you went over to check on progress, to point out just how good the spare bedrooms looked, like he was the most proud of those 4 extra rooms more than any other space in the house.   

The irrational part of you would have given him a baby yesterday, but the rational part of you knew you wanted to be married and have every last inch of that house finished before you brought a baby there. But every time Javi saw those bedrooms, looking at you with that big, goofy grin on his face for his children that didn’t even exist yet, oh god, did it make you want to say fuck it to every ounce of rationality you had left. 

“I think you have baby fever worse than I do, Jav. And that’s saying something.” You teased, reaching up to scrunch his cheeks. With another little giggle and content sigh, you pushed yourself up out of your chair, coming around the back of it to get the slightest running start to jump on him, full koala style, wrapping your arms and legs around his broad back, making the two of you burst out in laughter as he spun you around while you nuzzled your face in the crook of his neck, covering him with little kisses. “I love you so much. You’re gonna be such a good dad, you know that?” 

“I love you too, Osita. I hope I am. I want to be.” Javi sighed, a hopeful half smile pursed between his lips, causing you to cup both your hands around his face, forcing him to look at you. 

“You will be. I promise.” Tilting your head in, you pressed a soft, tender kiss onto his lips, lingering just a little longer than normal for your added reassurance. “Alright, I gotta get down now though, we have dishes we have to put away, and I have to shower tonight since I have a staff meeting tomorrow morning before school and I don’t wanna have to get up earlier than I need to.” 

“Un beso más (One more kiss).” Javi smiled, gripping a little tighter on your thighs wrapped around his legs, refusing to let go until you fulfilled his request. 

“Solamente un beso más? Por qué no dos? Tres? (Only one more? Why not 2? 3?)” You giggled, one of your hands running through the thick curls of his hair, while the other traced soft circles along his jawline. 

“Me gustaría darte todos los besos, Osita. Te daría cualquier cosa. (I’d give you all the kisses, Osita. I’d give you anything.)” Leaning in, your mouths met again in a soft and sweet moment, a kiss that felt like he meant it- He would give you the world if you asked for it, and then some. 

“God, I could kiss you forever. Alright, Romeo, put me down, we got things to do, and if you don’t, I know for a fact none of those things are getting done.” 

“Fine.” He sighed overdramatically, letting your legs fall to the floor as he released his grasp. “I’ll clean up dinner and you can go take a shower.” 

“I can help with cleaning up, Jav. You made dinner, the least I can do is-” 

“Go get your ass in the shower. I’ll clean it up.” He smiled, planting a kiss on the top of your head before gesturing towards the bathroom, making you cross your arms over your chest with an unseriously stern look on your face. 

“Are you trying to tell me that I smell? Rude. Sure you’re not the one who needs to shower after your foot got covered in piss?” You raised an eyebrow at him, trying your best not to laugh. 

“Go shower, you dork.” Javi chuckled, giving your ass a playful slap as you parted ways, sticking your tongue out at him as you disappeared down the hallway and into the bathroom.

After a long, and even hotter shower than usual (considering you didn’t have to account for Javi’s temperature complaints), you wrapped yourself up in your towel and headed back to your room, where you found Javi laying in bed, reading one of the books you had been teasing him about for the past few weeks as it sat on his nightstand, unopened, even though he insisted he really was going to read it soon. As if the fact that him finally opening up and reading the book wasn’t enough to taunt him about, the way his face scrunched as he squinted at the pages certainly was. 

“You doin’ alright over there, Grandpa? Jav, you just have to give in and get glasses, you know you can’t see anything, stop trying to fight it.” You giggled, your appearance in the bedroom catching Javi’s attention, making him rest his open book over his stomach. 

“I don’t need glasses. I can see just fine. I’d look stupid in them, anyways.” He grumbled, refusing to admit that you were right even though he knew just as well as you that his eyesight was definitely not what it once was. He let out another sigh, dogearring the page of his book and setting it on his nightstand, his grumpy demeanor quickly shifting as you gave him that playful smirk you always did when you wanted to rub something in to prove your point. You let out another laugh as Javi rolled his eyes at you, shifting himself on the bed to lay on his side, face resting in his palm with those sweet puppy dog eyes that never left your sight any time he watched you get ready, even if all it meant was putting on one of his oversized shirts and sleep shorts to go to sleep in. 

“Yeah, okay.” You replied, your voice oozing with sarcasm. “And you wouldn’t look stupid in glasses, you look hot in anything, and I’m sure you would look extra hot with 20/20 vision.” 

“Pendejo…” 

“You love me.” 

The two of you laughed as you shuffled through the drawers of your dresser, pulling out one of Javi’s t shirts to wear to bed along with a pair of underwear and cotton shorts, piling the clothes next to you as you unwrapped your towel drying yourself off once more before letting it drop to the floor so you could change. You could see Javi’s reflection staring back at you, more specifically, your ass in the mirror, an awestruck and lustful look growing in his eyes as you reached over to pick up your shirt. 

“I can literally feel your eyes burning a hole through my ass, Jav.” You sassed, smirking back at him through the mirror as you watched him bite down on his lip. 

“Fuck, I love your ass so much, you know that?” Javi rasped, his tongue gently darting between his lips, eyes still locked on your behind. 

“Yes, Javi, you are very adamant about letting me know how much you love it.” You snickered, slipping his shirt over your head, followed pair your pair of underwear, opting to completely forgo your shorts to play into his comment. You crawled up into bed next to him, nudging him over so his back laid on the mattress and you laid on top of him, pressing a soft, slow kiss against his lips as his hands roamed down your back, sneaking under the hem of your shirt to knead the soft flesh of your ass, letting out a low groan as your mouths met. 

“Because it’s fucking perfect.” He hummed, gripping his fingertips even deeper into your skin after sliding them under the thin, cotton fabric covering it. 

“Wow, someone’s in a mood about my butt tonight. Didn’t know your giant t-shirt and my plain ass underwear was really doin’ it for ya.” You joked, a little grin spread across your face as you ran your hands through Javi’s hair before sliding them down his face to cup his jaw. It didn’t take long for you to realize that the look on Javi’s face had quickly turned from one of lust to deep thought, his brow scrunched and nostrils flared, making you tilt your head in confusion. “What’s wrong?” You asked, immediately noticing the shift in his demeanor. “You only get that look when you’re really thinking hard about something, or you have to fart and you’re trying to hold it in, and I’m really hoping it’s not the second one.” 

Your comment was enough to snap him out of his own thoughts, making him shake his head as the two of you laughed, Javi still holding back slightly as his eyes shifted down towards the mattress, practically hearing the gears in his brain turning, when all of a sudden, it clicked with you. 

Oh shit. 

The combination of his stare down and silence told you everything you needed to know. 

You tilted his chin back up towards your face, a curious smirk stretched between your lips as you raised an eyebrow at him. 

“You wanna fuck my ass, don’t you?” 

Your voice was sweet and sultry, immediately making Javi’s face go blank in shock that you had connected the dots before he had even said anything. You could hear your heart pounding in your chest almost as loudly as Javi’s, a nervous swarm of butterflies filling your stomach as you waited for him to respond. 

You’d be lying if you said you hadn’t thought about it before. There had been plenty of times that Javi had put a thumb or fingers in your ass when he fucked you from behind, and holy shit, did it feel good whenever he did it. You’d honestly debated bringing it up before, but there was a part of you that could never bring yourself to do it because you never had, and you couldn’t help but feel nervous about it. 

It wasn’t that you didn't trust Javi- You’d trust him with your whole life without a second thought. There had never been a time since the moment you first had sex that your comfort wasn’t always his first priority. But with how full Javi felt inside you with just a thumb or a finger, couldn’t help but make you feel a little worried with how big he’d feel with his whole dick inside your ass. 

You also couldn’t help but feel a preemptive guilt if it ended up being too much and you had to ask him to stop, not that he would ever make you feel bad about it, but still, you couldn’t help but play out worse case scenarios in your head. But something about that look in his face as he stared you down in the mirror and head turning deep in thought was enough to spark that little flame of confidence you had brewing and beat him to the punch. 

“Hermosa…” He paused, the Adam's apple of his throat bobbing as he gulped, taking an anxious deep breath. “Baby, I-” 

“Do you?” 

The tightened grip of his fingers in your ass, gentle nod of his head and the low groan releasing from his chest was all you needed to know to figure out the answer to your question without even needing Javi to say a single word. His free hand mirrored yours, cupping your cheek as the two of you locked hungry gazes with each other, Javi now finally working up enough confidence to respond. 

“I want to so fucking bad.” Javi rasped, his dark brown eyes filled with a mix of desperation and need for reassurance. “But if you don’t want to, I don’t ever want to make you do something you’re not comfortable with. I promise, I won’t be upset about it at all.” The confident facade you had been fronting quickly began to crumble, your body flooding with a combination of nerves and excitement. 

“I do, I just- I- I’ve never done it before.” You weren’t sure how your voice had gotten so small and meek- maybe it was the reality of what you were about to do setting in at a rapid pace. Something about the sweet, soft innocence of your voice already had Javi hard as a rock, using every ounce of willpower to keep his composure, considering how even just the thought of even getting to put his dick in your ass already had him on edge. 

“That’s okay. Like I said, it’s only if you want to, baby. We can take it slow and if it’s too much, I’ll stop, no questions asked.” 

You could feel your head beginning to gently nod in agreement as Javi’s thumb rubbed soft circles on your jaw, a little smirk forming between your cheeks while your heart raced at a million miles per hour, almost feeling as worked up and nervous as the very first time the two of you had sex all that time ago. 

“I want to.” You whispered, letting your lips meet his in a tender and ferocious passion, muted moans escaping from each of your parted mouths. 

“You’re sure? I don’t want you to say yes just because I want to.” And fuck, could you feel how badly he wanted to, his fully hard dick straining against the fabric of his sweatpants, heavy against your thigh. You were no better despite your nerves, the cotton fabric of your underwear absolutely drenched already without Javi even touching you. 

“I’m sure. I promise.” 

A low groan rumbled deep in Javi’s chest as your mouths met again, Javi flipping you over so your back was flat against the mattress, letting his hands roam along your body while his lips traveled down your neck and collarbone. “I’m gonna make you feel so good, sweet girl. Gonna take my time with you, okay? I promise I’ll make sure you’re ready.” 

“Well I appreciate you just not going straight to shoving your dick into my ass, very gentlemanly of you.” You joked, trying to calm your nerves with your sarcastic wit, Javi practically snorting at your comment. 

“Jesus fucking Christ…” Javi whispered to himself through his laughter, resting his head on your chest as he looked up at you in amusement. 

“Sorry, I’ll stop and let you get back to business.” Javi lay frozen, still staring up at you with his head cocked to the side, eyebrows raised. 

“Osita, you know I love you very much, right?” 

“Yes.” 

“And that since we’ve been together, I’ve learned a lot of things about you? 

“Also yes.” 

“So you know I can tell when you’re nervous about something, right?” 

You let out a defeated sigh, crossing your arms in stubborn defiance, not wanting to admit that you knew Javi’s suspicions were correct. You waited a moment, and with a little frown pursed between your lips, you finally gave in. 

“...Yeah.” 

Javi rolled over next to you, draping one arm over your waist, the other holding his chin in his hand with his elbow propped up against the mattress, his tender gaze locking with yours, filling you with a sense of calm and reassurance you were convinced nothing else in the world could. “Osita, talk to me baby. What are you nervous about?” 

You flapped your arms up before planting them over your face, burying your head in your hands in embarrassment, your words muffled from underneath your palms. “What am I nervous about? Not to stroke your ego any more than it needs to be, but you have a huge dick, Jav. I’m also guessing this isn’t your first time, and it is for me, and you being the first giant dick to ever enter my ass has me a little nervous.” You rambled, your thoughts spilling out of your mouth faster than your brain could process them. “I really want to, I just don’t want it to not be good for you or for you to be upset if we stop or- I don’t know. I don’t want you to be mad about it if I’m the reason for- I- I’m probably overthinking it, I’m sorry.” You let out another deep exhale, averting your gaze from Javi’s staring down at the bed. 

This time, it was Javi’s turn to connect the dots, taking a moment to wonder why you were so worried about making him upset before putting the pieces together, his prediction making him clench his jaw in frustration. “Paul wanted to do it and you said no and he was a fucking asshole to you about it, wasn’t he?” 

Your head instantly shot up, swiveling around towards Javi’s agitated grimace, your face almost as shocked as Javi’s was when you had asked him if he had wanted to do this in the first place. “How… Javi, how did you-” 

“That motherfucker… he didn’t hurt you did he? I swear to God if he did, I’ll fucking fly up to Chicago right now and I’ll-” 

“Jav, Jav, cool your jets, killer.” You laughed softly, pressing your hand to his cheek to try and ground him before he really was on the next flight to Illinois. “No, he never did anything. He said that he wanted to and it kinda came out of the blue- I didn’t really want to at the time, especially not with him. He kept asking and asking and I would tell him no and he got so mad about it. Turns out that was around the time he started cheating on me anyways, and became an even bigger dickhead than he already was. But I always felt so guilty, and that it was my fault he was upset because I didn’t want to. I don’t know- I- I guess maybe this has stuck with me way more than it probably should have.” You could feel your voice shrinking, your eyes darting away once again, mortified by the fact that you completely ruined the moment by bringing up your shitty ex and his blatant lack of respect. “Sorry, I don’t know why we’re talking about this I-“ 

Before you could finish the rest of your sentence, Javi’s lips were on yours, swallowing the rest of your words as your mouths met with a passionate intensity, letting his arm wrap around your waist, pulling you in closer, caging his chest against yours. “Hermosa, you know I would never be mad at you about something like that, right? I love you, Osita, you have nothing to apologize for. All I ever want is to make you feel good, baby. Fuck, that gets me off more than anything else. Whatever you want, I’ll give it to you.” 

“I trust you, Javi.” Your voice was barely above a whisper, lips grazing over his, giving him a gentle nod of reassurance. “I want you to.” 

You could audibly hear the gulp Javi had let out, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat as he let out a low groan, tightening the grip he had around your waist. “Want me to what, sweet girl? I wanna hear you say it, baby.” His lips began to travel down your jawline towards your neck, hot and wet presses languidly making their way to your collarbone as he tugged at the end of your shirt, snaking his hands up the soft skin of your stomach. You could feel the heat building in your core, letting out a soft moan as his hands palmed at your breasts, rolling your pebbled nipples between the tips of his fingers. 

“I want you to fuck my ass, Javi.” 

With that, his hands were shuffling your shirt over your head, tossing it over the side of the bed before letting his kisses make their way down your newly exposed skin, letting his tongue flick along each nipple before letting his gaze lock with yours, a small smirk spreading across his face. “I promise I’m gonna make you feel so fucking good, Hermosa. Gonna take good care of you, baby, I swear.” 

“I know.” You nodded, staring back at the hunger pooling in the dark brown of his eyes, practically squirming in the sheets of your bed from the throbbing between your legs, feeling the slick almost dripping down your thighs from just how turned on you were. The grin on Javi’s face had become devilish, biting down on his bottom lip as he snaked his hand down your front, tugging at the waistband of your panties, sliding them down your legs before running a finger through your slit, already drenching him with your arousal. 

“Turn around, baby. Hands and knees, okay?” You could hear the subtle smugness in his tone, giving you a playful squeeze as he grabbed your hips, flipping you over face down on the mattress, making you squeal. You did Javi one better, laying your chest flat against the sheets, lifting your ass up in the air and giving it a little shake, Javi’s hands instantly kneading at the soft flesh in front of him, digging his fingertips deeper into your skin, feeling his hot breath hovering over your cunt. 

Suddenly, you felt a long, wide strip of his tongue through your folds, pressing hard and intensely along your clit before diving in like a man starved, lapping you up as he began to eat you out from behind. Each stroke of his tongue was more persistent than the last, the grip of his hands on your hips pulling your heat closer to his face as he licked and sucked at your throbbing bundle of nerves, the mix of your slick and his saliva coating your inner thighs. His feverish pace already had you fisting at the bedsheets, whimpering and moaning as his mouth worked along your dripping core, making you gasp even further when you felt his tongue begin to travel up towards your tight ring of muscle. 

“Oh holy fuck- Javi, oh my god, baby. Fuck me, oh shit.” You whimpered as Javi’s tongue swirled along your puckered hole, dancing around the edges before dipping inside, the sensation making you shudder in pleasure, feeling Javi’s low hum of approval deep in the back of his throat. If that wasn’t enough, one of the hands that had a tight grip on your ass was now collecting the slick dripping from your entrance, his fingers tracing through your folds before pressing firmly on your clit, the added stimulation immediately making the tingle begin to build at the base of your spine. As he worked at your hole, the pads of his fingers circling your sensitive bundle of nerves you could feel your breath becoming ragged, letting out a few more shaky exhales before your orgasm crashed through you, crying out into the soft fabric of the sheets, pleasure and euphoria flooding your body. 

As you came down from your high, Javi let his hands slide gently up and down your sides, pressing soft kisses along your back until he had made his way up your shoulder blades and neck, whispering tenderly into your ear. “Such a good girl for me, Osita. Came so hard letting me eat out that pretty little ass of yours. You want me to keep going?” 

“Fuck yes, oh my god Javi, please.” You whimpered, shaking your head frantically as you looked back at Javi, already sitting back on his knees to lift his shirt over his head before sitting up to kick off his sweatpants and boxers, letting his cock spring free, precum glistening and weeping from his tip, considering how painfully hard he had been since even the thought of getting to fuck your ass. 

You could feel his body hovering over yours, hands sliding up and down your sides before grabbing at your ass again, placing tender kisses on each cheek before leaning over to the nightstand on his side of the bed, pulling out the bottle of lube and setting it next to him. His hands roamed to your core once again, two fingers dipping into your cunt, curling to hit the soft, spongy spot inside you that already had you moaning again. 

It wasn’t long until his fingers were substituted for his cock, running his tip through your folds, collecting your arousal along his length before slowly pushing inside your pussy, already so wet and worked up, that even with sweet sting of his stretch, he still slid in with ease, setting a steady, even pace as one hand dug into your hip, the other reaching over to grab the bottle of lube, popping open the cap with a click and letting the cool liquid drip over your tight hole, making you gasp. You could feel the pads of his fingers pressing at the entrance to your ass, gently teasing you open with one finger, breeching up to his knuckle, the combination of both his finger and cock inside you making you whimper in pleasure. 

“That’s it. Such a good girl. Fuck, you’re already so fucking tight around my finger. You want another one in there, baby?” Javi mewled, prodding his finger deeper into your hole as he continued to thrust into you, his strokes slow and steady, but still punching deep into your g-spot with each thrust of his hips against the back of your thighs. 

“Yes- oh fuck- yes, oh my god.” You weren’t really quite sure how your brain was still even managing to form words at this point, the warm feeling that had been growing inside you spreading to every inch of your body. The pad of Javi’s second finger teased at your tight hole, collecting ample amounts of you slick and lube before pushing in to join the first, the thickness of both of his fingers making you clench even tighter around his cock and digits as you cried out in delight. 

“Shhhhhh, I know, sweet girl. Relájate (relax) baby, I’ve got you.”  

You could already feel your second orgasm starting to build again, heat beginning to bloom in your belly from the rhythmic pounding of Javi’s dick punching against your g-spot and his fingers prodding at the nerve endings of your ring of muscle, already feeling so full from the stretch of both holes. 

“Fuck, fuck fuck- oh fuck- Javi, I’m gonna cum again, fuckahhhhhhh-” You cried out, letting your second orgasm hit you even harder than your first, clenching down around Javi’s cock and fingers as you grabbed at handfuls of your bedsheets, trying to ground yourself as the intensity of your pleasure ripped through you. 

“There you go, Hermosa. That’s it, baby. Such a good girl. Did so good for me.” He cooed, gently pulling out both his cock and fingers, the emptiness making you shutter as Javi pressed tender, soft kisses down your back before making his way up your neck and nipping at your ear. “You think you’re ready for me, Osita? If not, it’s okay, I only wanna do what you want, mi amor (my love).” 

You took another few ragged breaths to compose yourself, unsure how your brain was even managing to function at this point as you came down from your high, trembling in delight. You nodded before you could speak, Javi letting out a low groan as he sucked at your pulse point, his words hot and heavy against your skin. 

“Need to hear you say it, pretty girl. Tell me what you want and it’s yours.” 

“Fuck my ass, Javi. I want you to fuck my ass, please baby.” You whined, whimpering your words against the soft fabric of your sheets, desperate for more, needing to feel all of him inside you in a way you hadn’t before. 

Javi let out an audible groan as he pulled back, letting his hands roam up your body and back to the lube resting on the bed, once again, popping open the cap and squirting some of the liquid into his palm as he fisted his dick, stroking himself a few times before lining himself up with your tight hole. “You promise you’ll tell me if you want me to stop?” 

You shook your head rapidly, fingers already gripping into the pillow in front of you as you braced yourself for Javi to enter, feeling his tip press against your tight ring of muscle. Suddenly, you could feel the sensation of Javi breeching your entrance, making you gasp at just how full you already felt as he had barely made his way inside you. Javi pushed further in, leaving you practically breathless from the stinging stretch of his cock filling you as he paused halfway, leaning over to check on you. 

“Oh fuck me- You okay, sweet girl?” 

“Mhhmmmmmm. Fuck Javi, you feel so big. Holy shit, baby. Oh fuck.” You gulped, squeezing around Javi’s length as he inched deeper and deeper inside of you, your clit and cunt throbbing as he filled you, the newfound sensation making you see stars. You were so focused on how you were feeling, you had barely noticed how tightly Javis fingertips were gripping into the soft flesh of your ass, like he was bracing himself for dear life as he sunk further and further into your tight hole. 

While Javi had found himself in this position with other women a handful of times before, he had never come close to feeling the same way about anyone the way he did about you- He had been dreaming about the day that you agreed to let him fuck your ass, and now finding himself inside you, knowing he would be the first and the last to ever have you like he was right now, had him on the brink of busting any second if he wasn’t careful. Javi had never been more thankful that you couldn’t see his face, because he knew he looked absolutely wrecked and was struggling to keep the ounce of composure he had left as you gripped around his cock like a vice. 

“Javi, oh shit- Javi, you can move baby.” You moaned, adjusting to his fullness, the initial pain quickly transforming to burning hot pleasure as you gave Javi the green light to keep going. After a few seconds, when Javi had said nothing and hadn’t moved at all, you spoke again, thinking maybe he hadn’t heard you. “Javi, I’m good, you can-” 

“I know, I know, fuck- sorry, baby. Jesus Christ- you’re so fucking tight, Hermosa, fuck me. Give me a second or I’m gonna fuckin’ bust right now.” Javi replied, halfway between a whimper and a moan as he firmly grasped your hips, carefully setting a slow pace as he began to thrust in and out of your ring of muscle, shocked to feel how quickly heat was beginning to bloom in your belly once again, his length languidly sliding in and out of your asshole, filling you and striking new nerve endings you had never felt before making you quickly begin to come undone. 

Your legs began to tremble, grasping at the mattress to brace yourself as you felt your clit throb and cunt clench as the coil in your belly tightened further and further, the lewd noises of your moans and grunts filling the room. 

“Javi, fuckfuckfuck, oh my god, baby I’m so close again, holy fuck.” You cried out, as even just the slightest pick up of Javi’s pace had you reeling closer and closer to the edge of your release. Javi freed one of his hands, snaking it between your legs to rub at your sensitive bundle of nerves, already swollen and pulsing from your first two orgasms, and now even more responsive as the pads of his fingers circled against it. 

Javi wanted desperately to hold out for you and make you cum as many times as you wanted to just like this, but he knew damn well the moment you came and clamped down even harder around his cock than you already were, he was a fucking goner and going right along with you. He needed to give you one more before he also came embarrassingly fast, but he couldn’t help it. 

“Fuck Osita, fuck- I’m not gonna last much longer either, baby. Need you- oh shit- need you to give me one more, pretty girl. Cum for me, Hermosa, I’ve got you.” 

With only a few more strokes and circles around your clit, you were cumming so hard, you were honestly convinced you had blacked out. Your whole body shook as you wailed in delight, squeezing around Javi’s dick so hard it was only seconds before he was following suit, letting a ragged groan escape through his gritted teeth as you milked him of every last drop, Javi bracing himself for dear life with the grasp he had around your hips as he finished. 

Javi slumped over you, the two of you breathing so heavily it sounded more like you had just finished a triathlon more than anything else. He let out a deep hiss as he pulled out, taking a moment to admire his work as he watched his spend drip out your tight hole as your body collapsed onto the mattress. 

You weren’t sure how long you had been laying there before you were finally able to wrangle the brain power to speak again, and even then, the only words that you were able to manage were a quiet “holy fucking shit…” 

Javi flopped down, laying on his back next to you as you rolled over, both of your faces bright and blissed as you stared at one another, almost unsure of what to say. 

“Are you okay?” Javi asked, gently cupping your flushed cheek in his palm. 

“Am I okay? Javi… Holy fuck. I don’t think I have ever cum so hard in my entire life. I honestly thought I blacked out there for a second. Baby… That was, fuck, that was insane.” You half laughed to yourself, shaking your head in disbelief. “Are you okay?” 

“I’m fucking great. Holy shit. Sorry I couldn’t last longer, I didn’t think I was gonna go that fast but you felt so fucking good. Thank you, Osita.” 

“Thank you? For what?” You giggled, giving Javi a playful poke on the chest as you raised an eyebrow at him. 

“For this. For trusting me.” 

“Javier Jesús Peña…” You smirked, propping yourself up on your arm to get a better look at him, “I trust you with my life. More than anyone I’ve ever met. I should be the one thanking you for so graciously taking my butt virginity. Wouldn’t want anyone else in there besides you.” 

The two of you burst into laughter, Javi practically letting out a snort as he rolled his eyes at your ridiculous comment. “God, you’re fucking ridiculous. I love you, Osita.” 

“I love you too, Javi. C’mon, let's go shower before your cum sits in my asshole any longer and I get pregnant with your butt baby.” You snickered as you rolled off the bed, making your way to the bathroom. 

“Jesus fucking Christ… Butt baby? Seriously?” He snorted, following behind you, giving you a playful smack on your ass, scooping you up to hike you over his shoulder and fireman carry you to the shower, making you squeal. “You’re so fucking weird.” 

“Weirdo you love enough to put your dick in my ass and make your wife, so that’s on you, Jav.” You giggled as Javi set you down on the cool tile of the bathroom floor, giving him a little shrug before reaching into the shower to turn on the water. 

“And what a fucking lucky man I am.” 

Ever since starting his job at the Laredo Sheriff's Department, Javi had been able to count on a few things every morning when he got into work. Sheryl at the front desk would greet him with a half hearted “Good morning, Javier” , the smell of shitty work coffee would be brewing in the break room, and Agent Carter and Miller already arguing about something stupid at their desks instead of working on anything that actually needed to get done. That’s why when Javi made his way into work on Monday morning and was not greeted by any of those things, he knew his day was getting thrown for a loop- he just wasn’t quite sure how yet. 

“It was their idea, not mine, believe me.” Sheryl grumbled, rolling her eyes as she nodded towards the path to Javi’s office, holding her hands up in defense as if to prove she had nothing to do with whatever was going on beyond her desk. Javi paused, tilting his head and scrunching his brow in confusion at Sheryl before letting out a sigh, and hesitantly making his way back to find out what in the world she was talking about. 

He was surprised by the lack of Miller and Carter’s presence in their desk chairs, and the unusual silence filling the office as Javi turned his head, wondering where everyone was. He peered over the cubicles, looking for any sign of life, until a strange sound caught his attention from behind the door of his office. 

Woof, woof, woof! 

Javi shook his head, convinced he must be hearing things until the low bark repeated, followed by a hush of anxious voices whispering around the corner. 

“Oh no, shhhhhh! Shit, I didn’t think he was gonna bark.” 

“Well it’s a fucking dog, Carter, what the hell did you think it was gonna, do, meow?”

“Maybe he didn’t hear it.” 

“I highly doubt that, dumbass. God, he’s gonna be fucking pissed.” 

“Your idea, not mine.” 

Even though he couldn’t see them, Miller and Carter’s worried whispers were enough to let Javi know he wasn’t imagining the barking coming from behind his office door. Letting out a deep sigh, which sounded a lot more like a groan, Javi carefully twisted open the doorknob to his workspace, only to be greeted by a large, shaggy and very dirty Golden Retriever staring back at him with big brown eyes, happily wagging its tail and shaking excitedly at Javi’s presence. Although Javi had heard the bark from behind his door, it didn’t stop him from doing a double take from the dog now residing in his office, running his hand over his face in a confused frustration as to how and why Miller and Carter had already managed to make his Monday morning a pain in his ass. 

“Why the fuck is there a dog in my office?” Javi half shouted, making Carter and Miller sheepishly appear from around the corner with guilty looks on their faces, avoiding eye contact with Javi as he glared through the two of them, wondering how the hell they were going to try and talk themselves out of this one. 

“Hey Peña, uh, I uh… Listen Miller was the one who brought him in, and he was so cute that I wasn’t not gonna do anything about it and-” 

“Oh, way to throw me under the fucking bus, Carter!” Agent Miller huffed, cutting Carter off in attempts to let the blame completely fall on him. “You agreed we should keep him here so that we could-” 

“Okay, that still doesn’t explain why the fuck there’s a dog in my office.” Javi groaned, cutting off Carter and Miller before they found themselves in a pointless arguing match about how and why there was now a dog happily leaning itself against Javi’s leg, his tail shaking back and forth, completely enamored by Javi. 

It was taking everything in Javi not to reach down and pet him to try and prove a point to Carter and Miller that they had astronomically fucked up the rest of his plans for the morning, but the dog was sure as hell adorable and sweet as could be. 

“Okay, well, I was driving into work this morning, and as I was making my way down that back road past the cattle ranch a few blocks down from here, this guy ran out in the road. Thank God I saw him when I did. I stopped, got out, and he came right up to me, but there was obviously no one with him. He looked relieved that he’d found me. Poor guy is dirty and skinny as hell. He hopped right into my car and ate the rest of my McGriddle which I was kinda pissed about, but I can’t blame ‘em.” Miller sighed, now crouching down to give the dog some scratches on the head before continuing on with his story. “So I went to some of the houses on the street and no one had ever seen this dog before. I called Webb County Animal Control to see if anyone had reported  a missing dog that looked like him, but no one had. I asked if I should take him to the shelter to see if anyone would come for him, but the lady on the phone said if no one’s reported him missing, they probably wouldn’t come for them.” 

“Well tell him what else, Miller.” Carter encouraged, trying to aid in Miller’s defense as he rose back up, standing next to his partner. 

“When I called the animal shelter to ask them what to do, the woman I talked to said the shelter is so full, that if we brought him in and no one claimed him within the next two weeks, that they’d…” Miller trailed off, him and Carter both grimacing, unable to finish the rest of his sentence as he looked down at the gleeful, furry face staring back up at him. “Well, let’s just say that things weren’t gonna look so good for him. I couldn’t bring myself to drop him off, and I wasn’t just gonna fucking leave him, so, I uh- I brought him here.” 

Javi let out a deep sigh, burying his hands in his face for a moment before rubbing his temples, understanding why Miller had done what he did, but nonetheless, still frustrated that now he had become wrapped up in solving a missing dog case. 

“So what? Are you gonna keep him?” Javi questioned, finally giving in to bend down and give the dog a few pats on his side, feeling just how skinny and boney he was as his hand met his belly. 

“Oh no, I can’t keep him. Apartment doesn’t allow dogs. I would if I could.” Miller admitted, rubbing his hand over the back of his neck, feeling guilty for his lack of helpful response. 

“What about you? You keeping the dog?” Javi asked, looking over at Carter, giving him a little shrug, hoping he was the solution to his temporary canine problem. 

“Um, no. Sorry. I’m allergic. He’s cute as hell but my eyes have been itching ever since he got here.” 

“So what, he’s just gonna live here? C’mon you guys, really?” Javi grumbled, now crouching down next to the dog, getting a better look at his begging eyes and goofy grin under his panting tongue, giving Javi a few licks on the face in excitement as his tail began to wag rapidly from Javi’s closeness. 

Javi couldn’t help but let out a little laugh as the dog lapped against his face, wrapping his hands around the dog’s head and giving it a playful rub to get the dog to stop before staring back at the sweet, sad eyes staring back at him. He scratched under the dog’s chin before it was snuggling up next to him, comfortably plopping himself down over Javi’s feet and letting out a content little grumble as his tail continued to thump against the floor in joy. 

Javi closed his eyes, letting out a sigh. A deep sigh. Not because he didn’t like this dog. Hell, not even because he was really that mad at the two office idiots for bringing the dog here this morning. Javi let out a long, exasperated sigh, because he could feel the willpower he had preached to you about holding out on a dog until the new house- a conversation he had just had with you last night- was absolutely crumbling. 

He couldn’t come home with a dog, right? He had just spent all of last night convincing you that the apartment wouldn’t be a good place for a dog. But… that was for a puppy. This was a full grown dog. A calm one, at that. A fucking cute one at that. God, it had been 5 minutes and this dog was already attached at the hip to him, and it was probably fair to say that Javi had gotten just as attached, if not more. Carter and Miller were right, with the shape the dog was in, it really did look like no one had been taking care of him, or had any plans to come and find him, and Javi couldn’t bear the thought of sending the dog off to the shelter, knowing his inevitable fate. 

Fuck.

“Okay, well, do you know anything else about him? Are you sure that there’s no one looking for him?” Javi grunted as he pushed himself back up to stand, trying to keep his cool as he looked over at Carter and Miller, their eyes still peeled to the ground in hopes the lack of direct eye contact would lessen their chances of a complete reaming from Javi. 

“No, boss. Only other thing we could find about him was the little tag on his collar, which wasn’t helpful at all, because it only had his name.” Carter shrugged, peeking up at Javi, surprised by the even keel of his tone. Javi bent back down, the dog immediately rolling over on his back and exposing his belly for Javi to pet as he reached towards the dog’s neck, gently tugging at the tethered collar under his tangled fur to read the poorly engraved tag attached, letting out an even bigger sigh and shaking his head in disbelief at the name. 

Bear. 

Of fucking course. As if the universe needed to send him another sign. Of fucking course the dog’s name was the same as his nickname for you, Osita- little bear. 

Javi couldn’t help but laugh to himself, running his hand over his face once again. “Shit. You sure no one’s looking for him?” 

Both Carter and Miller shook their heads, crossing their arms over their chests in sad disappointment at Bear, laying sprawled across Javi’s feet. Letting out one last reluctant exhale, Javi looked back at the pair, nervously awaiting his response before he spoke. 

“If… If no one calls looking for him by the end of the day… I’ll take him home with me.” 

Carter and Miller’s faces lit up in shock and delight, staring at Javi, dumbfounded by what they had just heard. “I mean… Fuck, well… that was way easier than I thought it was gonna be.” Miller half grumbled to himself, glancing over at Carter, like he was waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

“I obviously don’t have any dog shit at home so I’m gonna have to leave early today to get some, so you two idiots are gonna have to finish up the rest of the paperwork I needed to do this afternoon, we clear?” 

“Yeah, yup- Absolutely. Will do.” The two nodded in agreement, still in shock that the worst they had gotten from their boss from dropping a stray dog off in his office was the rest of his paperwork for the day. 

“Fuck me. Alright, c’mon Bear.” Javi sighed, pushing open his office door, Bear, happily trotting along behind him, tail wagging in delight as Carter and Miller stared back at each other, frozen in shock that they, with very little convincing, had gotten their boss to happily take their furry problem into his own hands. 

If the fact that Bear wasn’t cute as can be was enough to win over Javi, he was also the sweetest, most relaxed dog he’d had ever met. Bear was perfectly content to lay down next to Javi’s desk, letting out content grumbles and sighs as he slept and Javi worked, sprawled out across the floor. Bear also seemed to love everyone he met, joyfully making his rounds around the station with Javi after a failed attempt at leaving him behind in his office, immediately caving to Bear’s sad, lonely whines and big brown eyes from behind the glass of his office window. Around 2:00 PM, after Javi had given Bear the better half of his turkey sandwich for lunch, he found himself just as hungry as that poor dog probably was this morning, deciding to cut his day short to get himself some food, and gather whatever else he needed before bringing Bear back to the apartment. 

Javi thanked whatever higher power that the woman working at the pet store this afternoon was not the same woman he had adamantly convinced last night that he was not coming with a dog, because in the back seat of his truck, sat a dog he was now bringing home. The woman working at the store had helped Javi to find everything he needed for Bear and probably then some, Javi more than thankful for her patience and advice, feeling overwhelmed by what to get for a dog that had landed in his care only a few short hours ago.  

After 2 trips up your apartment stairs to drop off the bed, food, treats and toys Javi had gotten, he made one final trip back for Bear, who had glady hopped out of the truck and followed Javi back to your place after a quick pee on the bush in the parking lot, leaving Javi very thankful the dog had found a spot to relieve himself that wasn’t on his shoe. 

“Well, welcome home, I guess.” Javi chuckled as Bear busted through the apartment door, tail wagging at a propeller like speed as he meandered through the space, sniffing and exploring around the kitchen and living room, before wandering back to the bags from the pet store Javi had set on the ground, giving them a little prod with his snout before sitting next to them, looking up at Javi as if to ask if he could have the food and treats that were inside. “Well… I guess a little more food couldn’t hurt, right?” 

There were very few times where Javi was home from work before you, and when he did, he normally told you before he left, or called you at work to let you know- so when you pulled into the parking lot to see Javi’s truck next to your empty parking space, it was safe to say you were a bit perplexed. You quickly unpacked your bags from your car, making your way up to the apartment, trying to rationalize with your confusion and nerves as to why Javi had beaten you home. As you unlocked your door, you gently pushed it open, now even more confused by the muffled grunts and swearing coming from down the hallway. Dropping your things at the entryway, you quickly began working your way through the apartment to figure out what was going on before you almost tripped and fell over a large dog bed now in the middle of your living room. 

“What the hell…” You murmured to yourself, your brow scrunching in bewilderment as you caught your step over the soft, plushy surface, doing a double take to realize that what had almost taken you to the ground was a dog bed. Looking over, you then noticed the several bags from the local pet store, now even more puzzled as your attention shifted back to the end of the hallway, hearing Javi’s voice as well as the sound of running water and frantic splashing. 

“Goddamnit, will you just stay still please? We’re almost done, bud.” 

Almost sprinting to the bathroom, you pushed open the door to find a pile of towels spread across the floor, Javi kneeling over the side of the tub, shirt absolutely soaked as he held the shower handle towards a goofy, wet, golden retriever dancing around in the other end of the tub as he saw you. 

“Uhhhhhh, Javi… Why is there a dog in our bathtub?” You stood stunned in the doorway, your presence startling Javi as he spun around, dropping the shower handle, making it spray over the walls, leading the dog to playfully bark and shake as it hopped over the ledge of the tub to greet you. 

“No, Bear! Come back here! Fuck. I uh- I can explain, I-” Javi stammered, scrambling to grab the flailing shower head before reaching for the dog to try and wrangle him back into the shower, the rest of his thought cut off by Bear taking one more step towards you before bracing himself for a giant shake, absolutely drenching you as you burst into laughter, wiping your now soaking face with the palms of your hands before reaching down to pet the cheerful dog, wagging his wet tail as he leaned up against your leg. 

You couldn’t help but let the smuggest grin spread across your face, now putting the pieces of the puzzle together. “Bear, huh? You come up with that one?” You giggled, crouching down to greet who you now were presuming to be the newest resident of your household, rubbing his hands over his drenched, furry body, squealing as he licked all over your face. “I thought we couldn’t have a dog in the apartment, Jav, and I hate to break it to you, this is definitely a dog… very much in our apartment.” 

Javi let out a snort, rolling his eyes at you as he reached over to shut off the water, resting his back against the edge of the tub, propping his arms up over the sides as he braced himself to try and explain his current situation to you. “Well…” he grinned sheepishly as Bear paced back and forth between the two of you, his tail swaying side to side as he dripped puddles across the bathroom floor, “I got into work this morning and the first thing I saw was a fucking dog that Carter and Miller had dropped in my office after Miller found him on his drive in.” 

“Which I am assuming is this dog?” You laughed, gesturing towards the giddy Golden Retriever jaunting around the bathroom. 

“Yeah, this one. Miller said that he found him on a dirt road. Called animal control and no one had been looking for a dog that looked like him, and that when he called the shelter, they were so full, that if someone didn’t either come to get him or adopt him in the next couple weeks, that, well… they probably would have to… Fuck, Cater is allergic and Miller can’t have dogs at his place, and I- he’s so sweet, and I couldn’t just let him go so-” 

“So you bought out the better part of the pet store so he could live here with us?” You grinned, raising an eyebrow at Javi as Bear happily sat himself down in his lap, making Javi grunt at the weight of the dog plopping himself down across his legs. 

“I mean… I uh… I-” Javi mumbled, sheepishly looking down at Bear before looking back at you, doing your best to contain your laughter and giggles. “What, Hermosa?” Javi phrased it as a question, even though he already knew the answer- You were never going to let him live this down for the rest of his life. 

“And you thought you needed to be worried about me bringing a dog home without asking.  Does this mean we have a new member of the Peña family?” You smirked, making your way over to Javi and Bear, squatting down on the soaking bathroom floor next to them, pressing a playful peck onto Javi’s cheek as you gave Bear a big scratch. 

“If that’s okay with you.” 

“You’re lucky he’s cute, and you’re lucky you’re cute, too. Yes, of course it’s okay with me. Welcome to the family, Bear Peña.” 

The two of you smiled at each other as you sat on the bathroom floor, a damp and soggy Bear spread across your laps with the happiest and goofiest grin spread over his face, too. While coming home to find Javi wrestling a stray dog in your tub wasn’t exactly how you pictured welcoming the newest member of your family into your lives, in some strange way, it couldn’t have felt more perfect. Getting to grow and share your life together with Javi was all you could ever really ask for, even if that meant a Monday night, soaking wet from a dog bath gone wrong. 

“Okay, well, we should probably dry this goofball off and get his stuff all situated. Poor guy is probably exhausted after all of his adventures today, aren’t ya bud? Do you think we should put the dog bed in our room? I don’t want him to get scared during the night, but I’m not really sure if we should have him up on our bed, ya know?” 

As you pushed yourself up to stand, you waited for Javi’s response, only to be greeted by double the amount of big, brown puppy dog eyes now staring back at you as you turned around. Javi still said nothing, a guilty look growing across his and the dog’s, as you let out a deep sigh, wondering how in the world you were going to build up your immunity to another sweet face that made you crumble. 

“You already let him on the bed, didn’t you, Jav?” 

“.... Maybe.” 

“Like I said, the two of you are very lucky you’re cute.” 

Taglist:

@cool-iguana @rhoorl @whyjuliaaa @bbiophiliaa @pertinentpostmortem @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @pedrobaby @fatima-marisa @beboldbebravethings @poodlebae @kittenlittle24 @3sriracha @jungchloee @perennialdoll247 @prettyinpunk85 @partyofone3413 @harriedandharassed @pedrohoe04 @theorganasolo @endlessthxxghts @beware-my-thorns @missladym1981 @messinadress @milly-louise @jay-zzle @the-one-with-the-grey-color @persephone-girl @bitchesuntitled @pedropascallvr @millennial-teenybopper @nastiasnow @vee-bees-blog @hopplessilse

[homunculus-argument]

Fantasy story where one of the first opponents that the protagonist happens to encounter on their journey is some obnoxiously boastful and vain self-proclaimed romantic Hero Adventurer who is The Greatest Fighter and keeps stressing how everyone knows it. Only fools ever dare to challenge him, because they should know they'll meet their end. The protagonist accidentally does something completely innocuous that gets this Hero Adventurer to go full "how dare you, don't you know who I am?" and the whole tavern gasps when the protagonist just goes "yeah no I have no idea who you are."

This, obviously, is an insult grievous enough to demand a duel.

The protagonist decides that there's no way to back down from this with dignity, and simply braces for the inevitable defeat. And unexpectedly thoroughly kicks this guy's ass. Like at first it seems like the Hero Adventurer is holding back, like a cat playing with his food before going for the kill, but no. This is legit all that this guy has got. So while he wasn't lying that everyone who has ever challenged him has been a fool to do so, all he has ever been is the second most incompetent fool in the room. And the protagonist is so mad about having been genuinely scared for their life over this buffoon that the beat-down becomes far more brutal than it had need to be.

The Hero Adventurer weasels away, defeated and humiliated, supposedly to never be seen again. But way, way later in the story, the protagonist and their crew show up to a new place, and somehow someone recognises them, asking the protagonist if they were the one who beat The Undefeated Hero Adventurer. There's audible gasps around the room when the protagonist confirms that yeah, I remember that guy, I think I was too brutal on him.

Turns out that the Hero Adventurer did not just flee the scene and resolve to never speak of this humiliation again. He is simply not the type of a guy to keep his mouth shut. He's been going around everywhere telling people about this absolute demon that managed to defeat him. Everyone who knows that he is The Undefeated Champion is awed and horrified of what entity could beat down a man that no mortal could ever defeat.

And every time the protagonist tries to go "ma'am, I am literally just some guy", the people who have heard of them just go "ah yes, we were warned about that. You lure your victims with false modesty, taunting them with this guise of a simple harmless fool, tempting them to take the bait and challenge you so you may tear them apart in a duel."

People seem to have disagreements about whether the protagonist is actually some sort of a superhuman demon in a human guise, or just an insanely good master fighter. They're neither, but nobody's willing to believe that.

[rainbowchaox]

Purgatory Pissa Masterpost Part 1:

Look guys Missa hasn’t streamed again since day 1 of the event! So I was thinking to make it easier for artists and fic writers to remember canon moments. And I am HAVING thoughts. And feeling the need to yet again be “normal” about my favorite cubitos.

Let’s be honest. Philza was so happy to see Missa was online it was adorable. In Philza POV he practically started the zooming into Missa from the top of the wall. HUSBAND SPOTTED! And the amount of joy between them seeing each other again! THEY MISSED EACH OTHER SO MUCH!!!

Then Missa! Finally got a little brave and practically demanded Philza to give him a HUG. And guys I squealed watching it live. And philza immediately GAVE his husband a hug. And then tubbo immediately was like “are you guys gonna kiss and shit?” And PHILZA broke. Like HMMM why you hesitating why the confusion. Like DO YOU WANNA KISS HIM YOU REPRESSED CROW-

Then we also have to talk about THAT scene. The scene where quite frankly Missa just stared at his husband pecs as Philza canonically flexed- causing Philza to quickly get shy. Missa is so down bad that even I was like “MISSA PLEASE!”. This is the same man in the same stream where he legit called a painting of Philza “papacito” which I learned is like the Spanish version of “daddy”. Which Missa was very judged by his own chat for. It was hilarious. Cubito Missa was a different breed of simping and yearning this stream. I wish I made all of this up, but nope IT HAPPENED CANONICALLY. AND THEY EXPECT ME TO BE NORMAL?!?

But what everyone should focus on the most is when cucurocho said quesadilla island was a paradise. Mr Simpfonia himself immediately agreed because and I quote “Philza is here”. THIS IS BIG! Because EVEN Missa knows the island is horrible. Chayanne is gone for Void Sakes. BUT ITS PARADISE TO MISSA BECAUSE HE LOVES PHILZA- I’m so normal about this dudes. Because even spiderbit can’t say the island is paradise because they met each other on the island, but Missa casually says it like it didn’t rewrite pissa warriors brain chemistry. Something something Philza is comfort and safety to Missa. He loves Philza so much. Truly a bleeding heart with loyalty so strong it’s titanium.

And can we all talk about how Philza when they were separated waved goodbye to Missa when Missa back was turned? Philza doesn’t show affection through words. But by actions. Something something he is already missing Missa. The tsundere crow. JUST ADMIT YOU LOVE HIM-

Also Missa before all of this showing off his aquarium apartment. And casually says “The point is so Philza doesn’t notice so we can stay close to him” BITCH ITS PHILZA AND MISSA FOR A REASON! Did you forget the double bed?!?!!!? Pissa love each other so much it’s slowly becoming a obsession. Not to mention mISSA in general hauntings Philza thoughts (dude checked the map to see Missa when he died-) we get it Philza you love him and are sad you got spilt up. ESPECIALLY BECAUSE YOU NEVER GET TO SEE YOU HUSBAND AND MISS HIM-

Another great moment is when Missa heard his own team mates saw Philza and immediately was possessive and protective DESPITE THEM ACTUALLY BEING ON ENEMY SIDES was like “No don’t hurt my man”. Missa wants his husband to be safe. And nice to know his possessive streak is healthy as ever. Philza is HIS man. I swear Missa we get it- YOU LOVE HIM. THEY MAKE ME CRAZY. And guys it was a experience watching Missa POV. Because he was ignoring all the death and chaos in the chat BUT the moment when Missa saw Philza die his whole face changed expressions. Philza was the only death he reacted too I ain’t lying.

Now for the best part of the stream, Missa causally entered the VC of red team. And I quote “I’m not part of your team but I wanna tell you I love you guys”. PHILZA IMMEDIATELY SAID I LOVE YOU BACK. Of course everyone else was suspicious of Missa being so nice and called him a manipulator while Philza immediately was like “No he wouldn’t do that”. PHILZA TRUSTS MISSA SO MUCH-

LIKE WE UNDERSTAND! You guys are always on each other minds. We were fed so much! And I can’t wait to see what other cute pissa moments we get in the future- I hope you enjoyed my rambling essay. I feel like there should be a masterpost of pissa moments in case anyone needed a refresher! Will make Part 2 once we get more cute pissa moments!

[husky-twst-and-obeyme]

Asking for their type

Dorm leaders asking (reader) they’re type in a guy , in which they respond describing the leaders

Riddle

Riddle had deep feelings for you but he wanted to know you more

So he had an idea to ask what type of guys you’re into, he’s not going to change himself but more so adjust

like if you’re into sporty guys, he’ll try playing more sports and such

“Y/n, i’m curious because of what i overheard from ace and deuce -lying- what type of guy are you into?”

“What guy am i into?.. welllll”

You first described someone who is well mannered and a good student

Perfect he thought, he’s already someone like that so that makes things easy

“ i also like shorter guys because of how huggable they are”

A little offended but it’s not like you said it directly to him

It was all normal until you started getting into more detailed

“I’d like for him to have red hair.. beautiful grey eyes .”

(Wait a minute.. are they talking about..?)

“And he needs to be the dorm leader of Heartslabyul~ “ you looked directly at him

Riddle.exe has stoppped working

Legit he froze because he KNEW you were talking about him

Then he started blushing like mad

“W-well what a Coincidence...my type just so happens oens to be you y/n”

Leona

Let’s be honest, he doesn’t care, so he says at least~

He kept thinking how he wanted to keep you to all himself but that got him thinking

What you like a guy like him hence leading him to ask what guys you like

Just a “genuine “ question *cough**cough

“My type of guy? Hmmm..” you had thought for a moment.

“Well.. if i had to choose, someone who has pride and very strong, who doesn’t like a guy with muscles?”

He smirks only a little to not be notiable

He already knew he’d have a chance, he was prideful already and had muscles due to workouts

“ i also like guys that have nice tan skin especially if he has brown hair “

A little weird but a lot of people do have a type with tan people so he shrugged it off until..

“I’d also liked if he had beautiful eyes , like staring into emeralds.. and petting his fluffy ears”

“Wait... what do -“

“And i hope he’s the Savanaclaw dorm leader~”

Blank. He’s blank and then he gets up

“Leona?- ah! “ you get picked up by him

You try to struggle to get out of his grip but he’s too strong

“Im sure you’d like to nap with “your type” wouldn’t you , herbivore?~ “

Azul

Azul is for sure a people pleaser , whether people like him or not

So of course, he'd be interested in what type of guy you're into

He wouldn't change himself but more so adjust to your taste

' (y/n) - san!~ " "oh hey azul!"

he loves his conversations with and to not make things look super obvious, he talked about his day , other topics that people would usually discuss and THEN go for the fish. heheh-

" now out of curiosity..is there any men you are into??" " "huh-" "I apologize but it's just a typical question and i'm curious as well! you know me ~ " he hoped that he was playing off well

after you recovered from being off guard you thought to yourself for a moment "Well I often like guys who wear glasses and are intelligent . "

Azul felt pride, he already had these traits and he was fully aware of it

you continued on you started to get detailed , he didn't noticed until one key word.

" it'd be cute if he was a nice octomerman..~ "

"haha that's.....wait a f**king minute- "

as soon as he realized you were talking about him, he absolutely melts

he doesn't even need to confirm it, like what other octomerman do you know??

you tried to calm him down but all he kept doing was hiding his face ,somewhat squealing and just laying on the floor

yes this was in private but there could be a chance he would do this even in public -

Kalim

Kalim had a major crush on you and it was like " I like them so much and i want to do everything i can to get their attention " kind of crush

So he just casually talks to you when he bumps into in the halls

he talked normally at first so that his true interest wasn't revealed

" so (y/n)/nickname do you have any guys of interest ? like what kind of guys do you like? "

now he made it obvious in a way but he thought he was being sneaky , you knew but played along

"well I like guys who are fun and charming in a nice way like helping others "

ah what a coincidence kalim thought , he tries to be fun and does his best to help others!

" I also find it cute when they have light colored hair ..closer to being white ."

it should of clicked but it didn't -

you actually kept giving hints of his appearance and stuff that's happened but he did not catch on AT ALL

so with one last shot -

" wow (y/n) you expect a lot from a guy! ahaha! "

" yeah but one last thing.."

"hm?"

" if would be nice if i shared his last name .. Asim.

it took a few seconds but then his face turned lightly red "ah-"

then we have jamil in the back , watched the whole thing mind you , and he's like " f**king finally- how are you that oblivious- "

Vil

Vil was someone who didn't really fish for attention that was until you came along

he's honestly confused on his feelings because he never really cared too much but why does it now with you here?

to save himself from getting his hopes high, he wants to know you're preference.

just to see if he even has chances but he's gorgeous of course he's high up on the ladder but anyways-

during one of your conversations

"dear potato, is there any person that catches your interest? "

he's clever to not specify but you actually catch on that he means " what kind of people do you like "

" well.. i tend to like blondes, not sure why "

He's already feeling confident but then again a lot of people prefer blondes sometimes anyways

"I'd also like if he was a bit of a fashionista , so we could go shopping and try outfits "

Vil smiled 'Is that so?"

He already can tell his chances are better now but when he heard this

"Now it would also be nice for him to have purple in his to highlight his appearance"

Vil looked at you "Wait"

and you looked directly back " As well as being the famous Vil Schoneheit~"

you both just stared at each other until Vil Spoke "Was it obvious..?"

You giggled "Very~"

Vil looked away in embarrassment but shortly after recollecting his thoughts "if that's the case..I would like to go shopping with you."

Idia

You all know for a fact , he does have confidence at all

So obviously he would struggle with his crush , you.

Now he tries to observe your interest and your likes so he can try to bond with you

but first things first, are you even interested in guys like him?

"H-hey Y/n chan. " "hm?" " A questionnaire asking about "Your Type" showed up. It kinda made me curious , what's y-your type?"

Idia is actually the only one where you don't pick it up right away that he's asking out of his own interest because he's often a curious guy so you don't question it

"Well. If I wanted a boyfriend he'd at least have to be a gamer "

Idia's hair flared up a little but not too much , he nodded

" I want him to be smart too , especially since i struggle with some subjects , we can even go on cute study dates "

Idia's hair turns a little pink , that catches your eye , after that you put two and two together and finally figured out his motive. you decided to have a little fun~

"I'd also like if he had color hair , makes him more interesting ya know? "

Idia's hair gets brighter but the nail in the coffin?

" but it would be nice for him to make me Mr/Ms/(Whatever gender neutral term ) Shroud ~"

He got caught and he knew it , he looked at his hair

Then looked back at you "..." he hid under his bed

"IDIA Nooo! " you tried to get him out "I'm sorry! It was too hard to resist! " you laughed but under the covers , he was happy to know you are interested

Malleus

This boy is just precious

as much as he wants to be in a relationship with you , he wants to get to know you more then anything

What he heard from Lilia (dear god) is that to be sly with it, you'd ask your crush "What type of guy do you like" , you know Lilia is setting it up on purpose-

So that is exactly what he does

"Y/n. " "! ah- Yes Malleus? " you got caught off guard because he just suddenly appeared

"out of curiosity , what is your prefered partner? "

You can see the sparkles around him , you can tell why he asked but you don't have to the heart to call it out so you went along

"Well. I like guys who are taller , at least taller then me "

He nods , he already sees his chance but he considers you rather small to begin with , so it would be easy for others too

"i also find guys with pale skin and dark hair attractive "

He nods , though he seems to not notice that detail directly yet , so you push

"It would be cool if he had dark horns and was a fae"

He nods , How did he not even react? is he just that focused on you? So you try something VERY direct

" and also happens to be the next ruler of briar valley, currently the prince?"

He nods ".....wait" he snaps to reality "That's me-"

All you could do was laugh at how silly he was , this just confused him now , do you like him or are you joking? You do like him

Hope you enjoyed!

[blueberry-pride]

The Royal Meetup Part 2

Leona x FEM! S/O

Centurion Follower Event Special (March 1-25) Warnings: N/A Request: I'd like to request a fluffy scenario in which Farena meets Leona’s girlfriend after hearing about her from Cheka, please. It takes place during the Tamashina-Mina event Part 1

Berry: I legit did not expect to make a part 2 of this request. I blinked and then I realized I wrote a ton, whoops. This part is entirely an interaction between Farena and (Y/N) but its about a certain lion so...enjoy!

"I am very much aware, no need to remind me now but this will take a moment." Farena noted as he went to my side once more. "if it's alright with the two of you, I'd want to talk to (Y/N) in private."

You and Leona had the same exact expression to what Farena said. You looked nervously to Leona, trying to say telepathically that as much as you want to bond with his family, you don't want accidentally mess up or insult unknowingly THE royal family.

"I can't just leave her-" Leona started but was cut off by his older brother. "Miss (Y/N) (L/N) will be under my personal watch for the time being. You'd know that the two of us were raised to give the utmost respect to ladies such as (Y/N) herself" Farena gestures towards you with a smile.

"That's not exactly what I was worried about." Leona grumbled as he folded his arms. You looked at him with a sheepish smile and nodded along. "I'll be okay..You do need to train the others back in the arena after all." You turned to face Farena. "I'm sure I'll return in time when it's your guys' turn for practice...right?"

Farena chuckled and nodded accordingly. "Indeed, I shan't keep the two lovebirds away for too long." Farena then ushered one of the royal guards to get the limo once more.

Before Leona walked out the door, he placed his hand on your shoulder. You laid yours on top and gave him a warm smile. He stared into your eyes for a brief second, nodded towards you, and finally left the lounge . leaving you with the first prince.

you'd be lying to yourself if you said your heart wasn't beating at the now silent lounge.

Farena cleared his throat, grabbing your attention from your thoughts. "Leona's never the one to say things outright... but you could see it in his intentions and actions that he cares a whole lot deeply."

You hummed in agreement. "I-it took a long while for the both of us to have some common ground." you chuckled. "And so far, it's getting along quite a while If I do say so myself."

He smiled as he gestured his hand towards the other door in the lounge. "There's a whole lot more to discuss about my brother, walk with me?"

You were by Farena's side for quite some time, he showed you around the different parts of the palace, sharing bits and pieces of Leona's life growing up here that had you at the edge.

"-And then what happened?"

"Then Leona was told off by our father- what was it for how long?" He contemplated. "Ah, for almost two hours!" You both share a laugh that echoed the halls.

"Surely he recovered after, right?"

"Oh, he did. After one long nap, he was eventually back to usual his Leona self." He chuckled. He then led you to an ornate door that was protected by two muscular women at the front. "Your highness!" They both bowed their heads as one of them opened the door widely.

Inside, contained hundreds or even thousands of jewelry and a assortment of decorated vases and rugs.

"I'm sure my brother has told you, I tend to have a habit of...over-gifting," He said sheepishly as he watched you look around in awe. You looked to him in shock as he was implying. "Your Highness, you really don't have to, Leona, and I have only been-"

He clasped your hands in between his. "I meant what I said before miss (Y/N), I really do thank you for being with Leona." he smiled as he began to look around for something in particular, continuing his conversation.

He opened one of the cabinets to reveal a row of glittering necklaces and began to study each one. "Leona's a rather difficult person to understand. He creates more enemies than he does, friends." he noted as he went through another drawer. "You have guts to stick up with him, which tells a lot of who you are. I can see you're extremely patient, strong, and overall, you don't give up."

After a while, Farena came forward with what you thought was a jewel but was actually an ornate lioness figure that can fit in the palm of your hand.

"I suppose I'd get an earful from Leona if I were to give you anything bigger or much more elaborate but, here." he placed the figure in your hand, feeling a heavy weight of it. "Do take care of each other, and hopefully... we'll see each other again soon."

Epilouge:

Farena waved goodbye as (Y/N) does so in return from her seat of the limousine. The limo speeds off taking you towards the arena,where the rest of your friends are practicing for the event. Farena let out a sigh in relief, smiling at the interaction he just had with you. His lion ears perked up as the sound of footsteps coming towards him, he turned to see his wife with a curious glint in her eyes.

"The guards informed me that you gave a little gift to our young guest?" She teased while Farena had a sheepish grin.

"It was only a small ornament from the chess set mother and father used to play with."

"But then it would always have a missing piece-"

"Not when I plan to give the remaining set as a future wedding present." Farena smiled at his wife. "it's a promising investment."

[roxyzwritez]

au writing shit idk

heres the Rough Plan for my first few eps:

ep1: the au branches off of canon in the final SU ep, Change Your Mind. renamed to Change Your World. when white yoinks the gem out of steven and pinksteven reforms and whiteasks W H E R E I S P I N K the response is something along the lines of "i am right here, but fuck you im not talking to you." (girlboss) and white gets the "im a child, what's your problem" and has the perfectionist meltdown, then steven's like "sorry but we gotta head out" and they're like "PINK WHAT THE FUCK?" steven goes "im not pink just leave earth alone" the gems agree and give steven The Legs™️.

pearl latches onto the idea that rose is still alive in there. (didn't write that tho just had it cut to this next bit oops) her and greg build a thing to connect to the gem that will essentially connect to pink/rose im just gonna call her rose damnit and allow her to communicate w everyone. shes like "...hey guys. uh. sorry for trying to kill myself i guess that didn't work but i have been minecraft spectating steven for the entirety of his existence with no ability to do anything but think and watch" pearl has a lesbian implosion, everyone's all happy n shit. steven eventually asks about the lying and she's like "yeag i done bad there. i just wanted to keep you guys together" (now that i think abt it there was no mention of bismuth here.. oops,) garnet gives her a Garnet Specil motivational speech and she's like "i missed you too garnet" (i forgot to mention, garnet violently explode-unfuses and ruby+sapphire are just bumbling with happy when rose spoke) amethyst has her own moment (she thought this was all bullshit and started playing fortnite upstairs but between games she heard rose and a p p e a r e d)

anyway rose then is thinking "oh man i gotta talk to so many ppl" and realizes eh guys nothing to worry abt just a HAPPY TO LISTEN, HAPPY TO STAY, HAPPILY WATCHING HER DR- but we should go there NOW" so they do, spinel is understandably distraught and breaks the gemspeaker in half but feels bad about it. she comes with the gang to earth, they show her around, a new gemspeaker is made and they reconcile. yippy! also spinel ate one of ALL. big donut flavors. sadie allowed this just for on e because steven is the LORD AND SAVIOR OF THE STEVEN UNIVERSE haha funny.

anyway she and bismuth talk. bis is kinda like "yeah i wasnt very gamer sorry about that herhee" again ignoring that SHE lied about the bubbling, conveniently forgot to explore that conversation for ease of writing and so i didn't need to go "how do i utilize my 2 iq points to channel these characters and get them to have a coherent, consistent to character conversation about this situation"

peri and lapis are called over by bismuth who doesn't say shit to them for the surprise. lapis is like "yeah ok hit me" peri is more curious. rose speaks, peridot fangirls and lapis is like "oh shit that's historically significant " peri is like "I NEED TO RESEARCH:)))" and runs off. spoiler: gem cloning

bis brings up the idea. rose is like "yeah that sounds legit" (the gem cloning conundrum took me way too long to understand. i drove my friend crazy. "hey can u explain every single quantum detail of this in the most verbose way i dont understand" but eventually i understood it JUUUUST enough to write it lmao i still don't get it)

rose n steven talk in roses room. all happy n shit. greg is told abt the plan and hes like oh shit i gotta clean up and steven is like "you know her standards. she don't give a shit" hes like "yeag"

peri makes progress! she made a little clump!! (explaining the gem cloning: theyre making essentially an empty gem with the powers but no consciousness inside. when its ready, white will take steven's gem out again, rose reforms, and the new gem gets ever so graciously stabbed into his belly where the old one was.)

peri tells steven its gonna take a year. he's like "well okay better than like hundreds of years" then he goes off to talk to the diamonds. he brings the speaker with. rose lets out the thousands of years of distrust and anger at the dismonds and they are humbled even more than when they got pinkd and rose is like "you WILL heal all the shattered ones i don't give a shit" and theyre like "whatever you say little one" (yes they do indeed heal the fallen. probably with regular shipments of steven fluid. that sounded wrong but im not a freak like that hes still 14)

also they go back home and steven talks to rose abt "you told the diamonds you literally wanted to die are you fr?" she explains and hes like YOU FATHERFUCKER, YOU ARE AMAZING AND YOU CAN'T DO THAT (crying)"

next episode is just year-long filler but i made it actually good by making it essentially a montage of lapis and peri in the barn becoming lesbian for eachother. finally, a controversial move on my part, they decide to overcome lapis's fear of fusion and fuse for stevens birthday. their fusion is turquoise (took way too long coming up with a fucking name) and can corrode (water + metal) and can morph/control metal (liquify n stuff. definitely not taken from a lapidot fusion concept i found on google images.) garnet is like "hey pearl look at these silly lesbians " pearls like "damn relatable" garnets like "yeag"

a week or a few after the bday, the gem is finally ready. everyone is excited until steven asks how this is gonna work. peri is like UHHHHH... 😊 and lapis is just "eh just take that one out, stick this one in!" peri goes NNNO- but after some damage control and telling everyone steven will be fine hes like "well i better get some good sleep then. big day!"

there's more but im done typing my fingers are about to go peridot and fuckin fly away let me know if you want the like 1other episode and the minisode after that

[bookishtheaterlover7]

Oh hello! I see that I was proven right once more...

Aren't y'all tired of predictable people, posting predictable things when their narrative is being shattered?

Well, let's unpack everything shall we? Gotta put this warning, riiiiight here

Much better!

Now to the fabulous part of the post that y'all came for!

Isn't it weird that they post two Portugal sightings and pics, just a few minutes apart?

Even better, Chris' teleportation powers are back 😆 he's so fast he was in LA and suddenly at Albitch's side!!!!

I honestly love these photos, because Chris suddenly looks so different from his more recent pics, where he's actually there...

What am I talking about?

Well, that outfit in the first pic is real OLD! So, technically they aren't lying about the pics being taken, and real. Just the time is definitely not at night, nor recently.

For the second pic, it's just hilarious! And I know y'all are sensitive about the whole "photoshopped/edited" thing but it's too easy, that it's so funny 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Here's what I mean...

The shirt Albitch is wearing, is the same one from her February 16 France trip.

And you can repeat outfits, but not with the days this close together... Is she back to being so poor she only has a few outfits for travel?

And also, Albitch's "husband" is a well known ass man.

So, why in the hell is a random guy putting his hand on her ass? A guy who most definitely isn't her husband?!

I'm not even going to mention the fact that she gave herself, Barbie proportions. She doesn't have the curves, so like everything, she has to fake it 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

And when did Chris' necklace turn black, and where did his glasses that, he can't live without go? Did he get lasik between Mass, LA, and Portugal?

Isn't that fun... 😌

Well, I'm tired now. Tired of staring at ANOTHER picture from the same tactic, from people still trying to prove this is legit. So, I'mma go, and enjoy REAL people.

And to prove how predictable they are, watch for the next one, another pap walk with rings in display, and another hand clutching, with a peck in the middle of some random street with the same outfits, that she doesn't have enough originality to make them her own.

Or maybe another blurry photo, with Albitch following them the next day, as if followers mean anything when you're hemorrhaging them every day, and losing money trying to keep up.

Lemme know if I forgot anything else. And like, I said, it's a rant post.

Until the next one!

❤️ Booky

[whoishotteranimepolls]

Shanks. Oh Shanks…

Yes he is kinda the guy on the beach who wasn’t lying about knowing karate.

When we meet him he’s relaxing/chilling/taking a breather in a little hidden away port to get away from the Navy. This is in a world where stories about Pirates (and many actual Pirates) are about how much chaos and pain and destruction they bring simply looking for treasure. But not Shanks and not in Foosha.

He puts people at ease because there is no reason to antagonize or bully the locals. He spends his days flirting it up at the bar. When someone does come looking for a fight, he’s not easily baited either. Some things aren’t worth it, a message he teaches Luffy. It takes a kidnapping for Shanks to step up and remind everyone that not only is he a real pirate, but a dangerous one at that.

He also has scars. Very sexy scars. And they don’t seem to turn him bitter or spur him on life. His facial scarring is a lesson about how there are people who will never fight fair and if you’re going to get anywhere you should recognize and respond appropriately. And they really give some character and contrast to him. I really can’t explain why. He also SCARIFICED HIS ARM FOR A CHILD. This man jumps into the ocean knowing full well there is a legit sea monster waiting for a snack and swims out to save a boy who had idolized him, acted out, and eaten Shanks’ treasure. What kind of Pirate risks life and limb for a kid who took their most powerful possession? THEN!! Then this man is able to TURN BACK THE SEA MONSTER WITH A LOOK. That’s all! Just a very intense look saying “you may be called a Sea King but I am an Emperor so get!” (Ps he’s not an emperor yet) And it works!!

Now yes, he is a total slut. I personally subscribe to a specific endgame ship where such behavior changes when he falls in love but man is always going to have his manwhore vibe. But they are the best? Like he’s not creeping or forceful about it. He knows he’s attractive and he knows what parties interested in a night (or so) of fun look like. And if he were in this world now or back during the golden age of piracy, I would be like “yeah walking STD” but it seems like everyone whose anyone in One Piece has a capable doctor. If he did catch something he’d appropriatly take care of it.

Shanks is also not completely irresponsible. Man is captain of a ship with a crew and fleet who like him and believe in him. He makes world altering decisions on the regular. He has been granted audiences with the 5 elders. He fights other Emperors. He’s been playing a long game. His first teacher was the Pirate King. Yes, Beckmann definitely keeps things on track at times but Shanks isn’t like a toddler running in all the directions at once. He’s got a plan and he’s been sticking to it. And it’s been working really well.

As for the showers: I personally never thought about it but…in the world of One Piece every ship is complete with all the luxuries of life. This means Red Force is bound to have baths/showers. Shanks isn’t a DF eater so he can take baths and I assume while he might not everyday he does regularly. Plus with a man whose identity/brand is tied to his hair, he’s not letting that get grimy and greasy and dirty. I do believe there is some dependable vanity here which Zoro would lack.

TLDR; Shanks may initially look like a scary threat based on reputation, build, and scaring, but he has a gift for putting people at ease so they see him as some beach bum. But right below that his dangerous aura is ready to burst out when needed (usually in aide of a friend/ally or for his plan). He is an intelligent man who knows what is happening in the World and a very talented swordsman. And the layer below is someone who clearly loves life and all the wonderful things it can offer.

In summary: he has a genuine peacefulness about him that makes him feel safe (when not actively fighting as I mean “peaceful” in relation to being capible of great violence.) and he’s just sexy as sin.

For context, they're responding to this post about Shanks

That's the dichotomy of shakes. He goes from complete dork

To the absolutely terrifying Emperor of the Sea.

People like to talk about the yesification and glow-up of most of the characters post-time skip. The most prominent glow-up to me was the dedorkification of shanks. That man was a complete dork for most of the pre-time skip. Now in Wano. What happened?

He's got a whole new jawline and everything

But at least he still has his dorky moments

[rowantheshittydogowo]

People have such a double standard when it comes to mapleshade and literally anyone else in the fucking series.

I don’t see you guys saying that Leafpool deserves to be exiled for lying about the true parents of her children, even though it hurt people, just like Maple lying about her kid's dad. They did it for a similar reason too — they simply wanted their kids to have a safe and happy life. Hell, Mapleshade was even planning on coming forward with the truth when it was safe to do so. Frecklewish assumed and lowkey pushed Birchface being the father ONTO maple and Mapleshade rolled with it for the sake of her children. Was it the right thing to do? No, but understandable. Leafpool was also pushed into giving her kits up and lying essentially, which ended up hurting people in the end (Hollyleaf). Yet, I don’t see Leafpool getting the same amount of criticism for it. Like yes, the situations aren’t completely the same, but it’s not like Mapleshade was a malicious monster who lied to a grieving woman 'just for funsies LOL grrrr she really likes seeing the pain in frecklebabies' eyes 🥺'. She was legit just trying to secure the safety of her babies.

Don’t even get me started on Appledusk— that’s for another ranting post, however, I am going to say a piece here:

Appledusk quite literally has no character; he has 10 lines at most, and he only exists to drive the plot along by being a dickhead. I genuinely cannot understand where people get the conclusion that he is secretly deep and abused by evil Maple and actually had every right to cheat on her. (Reed is also ignored in this because we don’t care how she feels about being cheated on, or even worse, make her like some savior for her cheating husband. Like, okay, what the fuck?????) Or that he didn’t cheat at all, despite the book literally saying it in text. And no — Maple being an “unreliable narrator” doesn’t mean that everyone else is a secret good guy and that she is the evil one twisting everything from the start.

Also, all the stupid “Appledusk is a good daddy!” or even the nerve to say “Appledusk was a better dad/loved his kids more” because he was nice to them once and was shocked that they died. Let me ask you this, if he cared so much about them and was such a good dad, then why didn’t he ask for their names? Asking their names wouldn’t suddenly make him exiled for having the audacity, so don’t even try it. He literally goes on without knowing their names or caring. He interacted with them nicely once, just once. He literally calls them AND Maple (not only Maple) mistakes right in front of the corpses.

[destinygoldenstar]

🍀This Is My Fault, Guys...🍀 - Total Drama Viewer Reacts to Disventure Camp Season 2 Episode 10 “Popping Trust”

Hello and hope y'all had a Happy Thanksgiving!

I know I wasn't too big on last episode. I will definitely say I prefer Season 1. But some of y'all told me it gets... interesting from here on out.

And since we're at four episodes left. Maybe.

NO I DON'T HAVE PTSD FROM ANOTHER EPISODE 10 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!

Also, I got informed that Aiden DID in fact apologize to Karol.

If you saw my answer to that ask, I basically said: "Cool. Too bad I had to be told that outside of the show to know that."

It does, you know, tell me that Aiden doesn't apologize on the show at any point.

And hey, IF I'm wrong, I'm wrong, and he at the very least SAYS he apologized to her in a later episode.

But I am going to say this:

I KNOW these greetings exist as Q&As.

For right now, I do not care about these, nor am I watching these.

Any information I SHOULD know about the story and characters should be IN THE SHOW. Whether shown or told. It's gotta be IN THE SHOW.

Because otherwise, I'm convinced the writers are just making excuses.

If it's about any leisure stuff or stuff that isn't relevant to the plot, that's fine. But if you have to give away vital character information that helps me understand them in a supplemental material thing like a greeting, casual viewers like myself WON'T see these and WON'T know these.

That's where I stand with this.

I don't think that person was lying about Aiden apologizing to Karol. I think that was legit. I just wanted to clarify why I responded the way I did.

Good for Aiden for not being the worst though.

(Jake is still my best boy)

The two I'm the most interested in is Rosa and Riya. They have the plotline I care the most about. Especially Riya after last episode.

Is it bad I don't care about the others...?

Maybe not 'don't care' as in 'dislike'. Hunter's okay even if I'm disappointed he wasn't actually aro. (Not a deal breaker) I want to see Aiden not suffer for once. And James... yeah no he can fuck off.

Anyway, that's enough of me babbling, let's get into the episode:

Oh wait are we final five?!

Oh shit I didn't realize that...

Oh.

Oh I hate it.

I have something for cuddling, okay? I see art of a couple cuddling, I am in awe. (I wouldn't say a kink cause I'm asexual, so I don't really feel turned on by things)

So I'm CONFLICTED right now cause I'm torn between "Oh this is so cute" and "Oh I hate it let go of him James"

"It seems like we fell asleep watching the movie."

What movie? Where'd you get a movie screen in the cabin?

"If we hadn't watched that cheesy drama movie, that wouldn't have happened."

"Oh sorry, some of us like art and not just those bloodbaths you call horror movies."

Oho! They're bickering like an old married couple! That MUST mean they're in love!! That must mean they're healthy now!

"Have you seen my phone?"

"I made you watch the movie so you'd fall asleep. Then I stole it. And SMASHED IT. AND BURNED IT. AND THREW IT IN THE LAKE. AND TOOK IT TO THE HOSPITAL WITH KAROL!!"

"Hey man, didn't your mom ever tell you that you shouldn't play with your food?"

Rosa, I don't think that's how you greet people.

"Are you okay, Hunter?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. You just voted off my not girlfriend. That's all."

Idk, I feel like they were so close to making Hunter's story interesting by subverting the plotline a bit. By making him aromantic and struggling to feel the romance the girls feel about him.

But no. It was just a typical love triangle of which girl he wants.

All I'll say is that while I'm not offended by the in paper route they took with this storyline, if I was writing this season and this plotline, I would've had Hunter have a queer crisis and realize he's aromantic, struggle to come out to the girls, and Allyson and Tess bond and find love in each other, bis gotta stick together, and in the end the three accept each other as one happy consensual polycule. Not in the norm of what you expect from a straight relationship, but a found family that satisfies all of them.

"I'm not in the mood to talk right now."

Wow. Don't do Rosa like that. She offered to listen.

"How is the best intern in the world?"

Oh she is desperate to be nice XD

She even feeds him! She's already better than Chris!

"Om."

XD

Okay the way he sounded when he took that bite was not normal XD

Omg the voice acting in this show sometimes XD

I think since I expected it to be bad, I'm not AS bothered by it, except maybe a few lines. Sometimes it's so bad it's funny, you know what I mean?

I mean it's better in Season 1, obviously.

"All this good treatment feels kind of... strange..."

I KNOW. A boss treats their co-workers fairly and kindly?! Who ever heard such a thing?!

I mean I shouldn't talk. Cause in my work place, my bosses actually consider my feelings and make sure I'm doing well!

"But I think if I win, I will invest all the money in my daughter's future."

And that's why I'm routing for Rosa to win. She deserves it.

"I'm here."

Oh geez.

"I HEARD YOU WERE TALKING TO SOMEONE ELSE, HUH AIDEN?!?!? WHAT'S THAT ABOUT?!?!"

Every time, I swear. Aiden CANNOT talk to ANYONE else besides James.

"I was looking for my perfume, but I think I lost it."

Awwww, honey, nooooooo, I'm sorry.

Okay so there's a thief running amuck.

I thought it would be Riya, but if she lost something too, then maybe it's Hunter and he's trying to get the two alliances to turn on each other so he can stay in the game.

Or Riya or James are bluffing.

"Hunter can't win today's challenge."

Yes. Thank you. He's the only guy that's won immunity all merge.

For bullshit reasons very time.

"Wouldn't that be playing dirty?"

Rosa, no. That IS a valid, impersonal, and good game strategy to have.

It's not like we're killing him.

"I know how to differentiate the game from friendship, but that doesn't mean we should play dirty. And the way everyone accepts so easily scares me a little."

Omg Rosa I love you.

I LOVE how genuine she is compared to everyone else. It's so refreshing.

She's genuine but she's also not stupid, you know?

*Gets a golf ad*

XD

Rosa, you don't want to play the game dirty, go play golf instead!

"Excellent work Oliver..."

XD

"Yaaaaaayyy, that's so great, I LOVE safety..."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH"

Same, girl.

"James, Aiden, and Riya have agreed to align the challenge for you to be eliminated."

YO WHY ARE YOU TELLING HIM THIS?!

"I understand. I would have done the same if I were Tess and Ally."

Oh, he's cool.

GIRL YOU ARE TOO GOOD FOR THIS WORLD.

"James, I know you're just upset about losing your phone, but we need to focus on finding Hunter."

Yeah James, it's called withdrawal!

If their plan fails because James is too pissed about his phone, that's ANOTHER point against him.

"What if I told you I didn't lose it?"

"What? What are you talking about?"

"I mean I didn't lose it."

XD

I'm sorry XD

I KNOW what he's about to say, but I get this out of context thing in my head.

"You didn't lose it?"

"I didn't lose it."

"What are you trying to say?"

"I didn't lose it."

"I know you didn't lose it. how did you not lose it?"

"I mean I didn't lose it."

"Can you say SOMETHING besides you didn't lose it PLEASE?!?!"

"...pumpkin pie."

Idk.

"That's a very serious and rushed assumption."

Yes it is.

One time in school, I lost a highlighter, and I immediately came to the conclusion someone stole it.

Turns out whoever did it smashed it on the floor so I couldn't find it.

And I got accused of false accusations.

I had an AWFUL school life and EVERYONE HATED ME.

Yes even teachers hated me.

"And who do you think did it?"

"You tell me. Who is the only person in the camp with that background."

😨

NO.

UH UH.

NO.

DON'T YOU DARE.

She has an idol! She can just play it!

OH GOD HE'S FERAL.

"What's wrong with that guy?"

YOU'RE TARGETING HIM, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!

"Your stress levels say otherwise."

Wait, is being nice KILLING her?!

Holy shit, THAT'S why McCleans are sociopaths! Because if they're nice they DIE!

"I felt bad that the four of us were attacking him."

You're too good for this game!

"This is ridiculous. It's like Hunter had prepared beforehand."

Let's be fair.

Even if Rosa DIDN'T tell him, if Hunter had a brain, he'd figure out that the others would be targeting him. So he'd play like this anyway.

"Excellent Rosa! Just like we planned!"

"So when Hunter is distracted, we all attack him at the same time!"

Oh wait that's smart on Riya's part! Holy shit, SLAY QUEEN!!!

"It's just a game. You did what you thought was right for you and it doesn't bother me at all."

Aw that's sweet.

"You warned me of your joint attack even if it hurt your alliance. You're a good person."

Yeah, about that...

ARE YOU SERIOUS YOU GUYS ARE BAD SHOTS

"It's time to hunt down Hunter!"

👏

HEY QUEEN

HEY QUEEN, I AM NOT WORTHY

SLAY!!!!

SLAAAAAAAYYY!!!!!

UH, HE DROWNED.

How do you keep the balloon underwater?

"The camper with the most intact balloons wins."

Oh okay, so don't shoot. Rosa and James have two.

Sorry, Rosa and AIDEN have two, my bad.

I'm not high this time, I swear.

"Let's wait for time to run out, and let Aiden win."

That is a perfect plan.

YOU FUCKING BITCH

YOU MOTHERFUCKING HYPOCRITE

Murder him. Murder him. Murder him.

Don't actually murder him, but slay him! SLAY HIM!

THAT IS THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT YOU JUST SUGGESTED YOU BITCH

SHE IS YOUR ALLY!!

JAMES, I FUCKING HATE YOU!!

"And that was for stealing my phone!"

YOU DON'T KNOW THAT SHE STOLE YOUR PHONE

YOU JUST DECIDED TO ACCUSE HER, WITH YOUR ONLY PROOF BEING "Well she shoplifted before"

I HATE YOU JAMES

If James gets away with this, let alone wins, I fucking hate this season.

Okay maybe that'd be too mean. But I wouldn't like it.

And now you all lose.

Good job.

Good FUCKING JOB.

...wait what?

NO WAIT I KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON

IT'S RIYA, IT'S GOTTA BE RIYA BECAUSE RIYA WAS THE ONLY ONE WITH ROSA THE WHOLE TIME AND COULD SHOVE THAT STUFF IN HER BAG-

SHE SABOTAGED ROSA

OH MY GOD...

DID MY QUEEN SLAY?!??!

DID SHE MISUSE HER SLAY PASS?!?!?

Wait... how many slay passes did I give her again?

No no, I don't care that Hunter won. Big whoopty do. I need to see how many slay passes I gave Riya throughout the season.

THIS IS TOTALLY MORE IMPORTANT

"I... want Yul to go to the Orange team."

YUUUUUUUUUUSSSS

SLAY QUEEN

SLAY QUEEN👑

DUMP HIS ASS ON THE LOSING TEAM AND GET RID OF HIS ASS

Counter: 2

"We can dominate the game together and you can beat the shit out of us in the semi-final."

Oh so you WANT to lose to Riya?

Heyo, don't tempt her to slay, Rosa. SHE'LL DO IT.

"Huh, now that you're encouraging me to slay, I think maybe I should slay, you know? Helps with my broke-ass career. People LOVE IT when people SLAY."

Counter: 5

I'm sorry for the disrespect, Riya! You can slay! This is my way of saying sorry, queen!

I love Rosa and don't want anyone to slay her, but I'm also like "DO IT YOU WON'T. DO IT YOU WON'T."

Counter: 7

"Karol is right. I must not forget my goal. I haven't stopped failing in my work, that's why I came here. This is my last chance to be someone! And I don't want to return to India with my family!"

SLAY GIRL!! SLAY!!

Counter: 9

"So when Hunter is distracted, we all attack him at the same time!"

Oh wait that's smart on Riya's part! Holy shit, SLAY QUEEN!!!

Counter: 10

HEY QUEEN

HEY QUEEN, I AM NOT WORTHY

SLAY!!!!

SLAAAAAAAYYY!!!!!

Counter: 12

I mean, it wasn't as many times as I said 'Steal The Idol'

Which, I'm pretty sure THAT counter is a meme on my Disventure Camp Blogs now...

(Either me or someone should do a counter of how many times I said something along the lines of 'steal the idol' throughout these reaction posts)

BUT STILL.

HOLY SHIT THIS WAS MY FAULT

I MEANT SLAY AS IN FLEX HOW GORGEOUS AND SASSY YOU ARE 💅

I DIDN'T MEAN SLAY AS IN BETRAYAL🔪

I could be babbling about nothing cause they didn't say she did this yet. Then I'm making a lunatic out of myself.

BUT DID I FREAKING CALL IT FROM WHAT, EPISODE 3? (Yes, it was Episode 3)

"You better pack your bags, because you're leaving tonight."

GODDAMMIT BUT I ALSO LOVE ROSA AND DON'T WANT HER TO GO.

I'M SO TORN.

I mean, she has Hunter on her side, right? So if Riya doesn't flip she's fine and they can boot James here.

GEE, IF ONLY ROSA HAD AN IDOL OR SOMETHING THAT COULD NULIFY THE VOTES.

IF ONLY, AM I RIGHT?

Add that to the counter.

UGH HONEY NOOOOOO I DON'T WANT YOU TO GO

I THOUGHT SHE WAS GONNA WIN

WHAT ABOUT HER DAUGHTER?!

"It's about Tess and Ally, they both like me. I think I feel the same way about them too."

HUNTER THEY'RE GONE, I DON'T CARE

I'M CONCERNED FOR ROSA

"If the three of you are happy together, why change it?"

THANK YOU ROSA.

"I don't know, because it's normal, right?"

This man doesn't know what the LGBTQIA+ Community is, I swear.

"Connor said I had to pick one."

Well screw Connor, who cares?

"Maybe it was inappropriate to bother you with my problems."

You and Jake would get along.

And you and me, probably.

But YEAH. I want the focus to be on ROSA.

"I wouldn't worry about that."

"Yeah, unfortunately, I don't have any advantages on me that had the power to negate the votes against me... you know, like an immunity idol or something. It's very unfortunate."

YEAH, SHE'S DYING. SHE'S ACTUALLY DYING FROM GOODNESS.

"If someone has a totem..."

SAY NO MORE!

"Me! I have an immunity totem and I want to use it now!"

LET'S GO!

"It's right... here? What?"

YOU DIDN'T CHECK YOUR POCKETS BEFORE YOU GOT TO TRIBAL?!?!

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!?!?

ROSA NOOOO

I WAS SARCASTIC

I WAS BEING SARCASTIC BACK THERE, I THOUGHT SHE ACTUALLY HAD IT

THIS IS MY FAULT, NOOOO

"Did someone steal it from you?"

Of course no one steals idols around here. Because nobody here takes my advice ever.

Also fuck off, James.

'ROSA'

🎵I fucking hate my life and everyone here...🎵

'JAMES'

🎵I hope it's James but I think it won't because🎵

🎵Because these shows fucking hate me...🎵

🎵Why the hell am I singing? I have no idea🎵

'ROSA'

🎵Maybe cause I don't want to listen to this BULLSHIT🎵

🎵Lalalalalala I'm not listening...🎵

'JAMES'

🎵PLEEEEEEEEEEESSEEEE OH BAAAAAAAABBBYYY DON'T GO🎵

🎵SIMPLE AND CLEAN IS THE WAY THAT YOU'RE-🎵

😭

I'm not actually crying, that's just the emoji. Imagine me making a whining roar that sounds like a dying cat.

I THOUGHT ROSA WAS GONNA WIN

I WAS ROUTING FOR YOU

HER DAUGHTER TOO, OH MY GOD

SHE CAME HERE FOR HER DAUGHTER

"I just want to say that I'm leaving with a clear conscience. I played fair, I did the right thing, helped everyone I could, and didn't steal anything!"

Tell em.

GIRL HAD A FOOLPROOF GAME STRAT, AND SHE STILL LOST.

She had a secure locked in alliance. The team swap did not shake her. She got along with everyone to prevent herself as a target. She was a strong player. She was finding idols.

SHE HAD EVERYTHING GOING FOR HER.

AND SHE STILL LOST.

"I don't know what happened, but you have to be careful of James."

I know, right?

"Don't worry, I have a plan to deal with James."

AS SHE SHOULD SLAY.

"Riya, I didn't steal anything."

"I know, Rosa. It was me."

*I got up and paced around*

BITCH WHAT THE FUCK

I KNEW IT!!!! I FUCKING KNEW IT!!!! I CALLED IT!!!!!

I FUCKING CALLED IT!!!!!!

OH MY GOD NOOOOOOO

I WAS RIGHT?!?!??!

Guys, I swear this is blind. I swear. I swear on my oath.

Look. There's NO BAR ON THE FUTURE EPISODES.

THIS IS BLIND. I SWEAR. I DID NOT KNOW.

THIS IS PROOF.

DON'T THROW ACCUSATIONS.

RIIIIIIIIYYYYAAAAAAA

WHY DID YOU SLLAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY?!?!??!

WHY DID YOU LISTEN TO ME?!??!?!??!

I'm torn.

I'm so torn.

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FEEL ABOUT MY BEST GIRL SLAYING MY OTHER BEST GIRL?!?!

Do I side with Riya going forward??? I-I don't know-I feel like I have to! I feel like because it's my fault, I'm OBLIGATED to side with her!!

She has me wrapped around her finger!! I don't know what to do! Because I want to hate her, but I JUST CAN'T!

I don't know what the popular take on Riya is. I only knew what the takes were on Ellie and Jake. I knew people hated Jake. BUT I LOVED HIM. I knew SHIT about the Season 2 cast.

But I NEED to PROCESS THIS...

RIYA I DON'T KNOW IF I LOVE YOU OR I LOVE HATING YOU OR I HATE LOVING YOU, YOU HAVE ME QUESTIONING MY SANITY, GIRL!!!

ARE YOU EVIL?! IS THAT IT?! Or are you just playing the game?

"I stole James' phone and put it in your backpack along with my perfume. I also took your immunity totem."

...

Okay?

Idk what you want me to say. I have nothing to say about that.

"Did you frame me?!"

What do you think she's trying to say? She's coming clean.

"Did you make me look like a thief in front of everyone?"

I mean that SUCKS because Rosa had to steal to survive, so this is some TRAUMA for her.

But also, getting pissed over a PHONE, I think is still on James.

Holy shit I'm defending Riya right now-holy shit I AM stanning her still, oh shit...

Oh no... oh no what has happened to me...?

"I was acting, Rosa. The boys didn't doubt it for a second."

I mean she's right. I can't say that's invalid of a strat.

"Riya, why did you do this to me?"

"We can betray each other inside the game and still be friends outside of it. Just like you betrayed the alliance by spoiling the plan to Hunter."

I... SOUND. Okay. That's sound.

CAUSE HEY, JAMES CAN PUT PEOPLE IN THE HOSPITAL AND CALL IT A STRAT, BUT RIYA CAN'T? LET'S BE REAL NOW.

"These are things that happen in this game."

Yeah. Yes it is.

Don't hate the player, hate the game.

"The problem isn't the game. It's you Riya."

OH SHIT.

"You let the competition change you. You may win the million, but you will be alone again."

OH SHIT...

SO THAT'S WHERE THIS IS GOING...

"Come on Rosa! Don't be mad!"

"Hmph, I am not mad, I am disappointed."

SHIT...

And that's it.

She lost her ONLY friend here.

SHE'S SO UPSET ABOUT IT, OH MY GOD...

"Everything went as planned. When I stole the things, I didn't know whether to blame Hunter or Rosa, but I came up with a plan that could take me far, and unfortunately, I had to sacrifice Rosa."

I mean, I have to give mad respect that she's owning up to it.

"Yeah. I played dirty. Whatcha gonna do about it? I AM A QUEEN AND I HAVE GOLDEN'S SLAYING SUPPORT. I HAVE A RIGHT!"

Oh the goodness killed her. Well, RIP.

Okay, after thinking about it... HOLY SHIT RIYA IS SMART.

Seriously, think about it!

Final FIVE. Hunter KEEPS winning immunity no matter what they try.

Sure, she's allied with James and Aiden as well, BUT if Hunter wins immunity, which is what ended up happening, James and Aiden WON'T turn on each other.

So it'd either be her or Rosa. And since everyone likes Rosa, then Riya would go 5th place if she did nothing.

So her best move was to pin the blame on Rosa and get everyone to turn on her.

And if they find out she did this or Hunter wins immunity again? DOESN'T MATTER. SHE'S GUARANTEED FINALS ANYWAY.

IT'S ACTUALLY SO SMART.

I mean, I HATE this plan because it sacrifices Rosa, WHO DESERVED TO WIN OUT OF ALL THESE GUYS.

BUT

I HAVE to respect the hell out of her.

Oh my god I love Riya... I-guys, I think I might be supporting Riya.

I genuinely want Riya to win this season.

I get she might be evil, but it's Total Drama so who cares look what show you're watching, BUT THAT WOULD BE SO POETIC AND BRILLIANT.

She came here as an outsider outcast with no social life and desperately wanted it. But because of the game and what her career needed to succeed, she had to ditch both that and her morality so she could find success.

SHE WINS AND SHE SLAYS, BUT SHE WON'T BE HAPPY. HER LIFE WILL BE MISERABLE AND AN ENDLESS CYCLE OF ACTING SHE CAN'T BREAK FROM.

I WANT RIYA TO WIN NOW. THAT WOULD BE SUCH A GREAT ENDING. TOTAL DRAMA WOULD NEVER DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

As much as I would LOVE it if Julia had something like that, but you know, Season 2 of the TDI Reboot fell off the deep end at the third act. I KINDA warmed up to it, but I still don't like the last third of that season. (Episodes 1-8 were great though)

I feel like I'm obligated to as well, because I'm the one that kept telling her to slay. So I've been pushing it XD.

But yeah, RIYA SUPPORTER AND I DON'T GIVE A SHIT. THIS WOMAN SHOULD WIN AND THIS WOMAN SHOULD SLAY AND THIS WOMAN SHOULD GET HER UNHAPPY ENDING.

YOU WANT TO WIN THIS GAME, YOU DO IT SWEETIE.

YOU WANT TO DESTROY THESE BOYS, YOU DO IT SWEETIE.

YOU WANT TO BE A COMPLETE PIECE OF SHIT GOING FORWARD, I WILL PROBABLY BE TOO STUBBORN TO HATE YOU.

I'm a damn hypocrite for this, aren't I? How the fuck is James still here?

Also NOOOOO ROSA I'M SORRY

Rosa was so good too... it sucks. It sucks so much. I LOVED Rosa. She deserved to win, too. And I thought she was gonna win.

She was kinda giving me Owen and Wayne energy. Except she was actually a bit strategic with her alliances and finding idols and making good terms with everyone. She would've been a GREAT winner.

AND SHE HAD A SYMPATHETIC MOTIVE TO HELP HER DAUGHTER. LIKE, WHYYYY?!??!

Though let's be real. Riya hurt her personally. Riya could donate the ENTIRETY of the million dollars to Rosa if she wanted, and Rosa STILL would not forgive her or accept her back.

So props for Rosa having a backbone.

Alright, this show got my interest again. I want to see how this plays out. I'm supporting a mastermind, oh my god...