#(Honey you went through 7 time zones yesterday.)

[perpetualxfire]

(myyyy sleep schedule is fuuuuucked~)

[hannie-dul-set]

sins of lust [yoon jeonghan]

“lust /ləst/ — the mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the spirit is life and peace - romans 8:6″

LUCKY 7′S MASTERLIST

PAIRING | yoon jeonghan x female! reader GENRE | college! au, borderline smut, angst WARNINGS | nsfw themes obviously lmao but no actual doing the dirty because i can’t write smut for shit, swearing, jeonghan is the literal devil WORD COUNT | 4.5k

a/n: I’M SO VERY SORRY THATTHIS IS SUPER LATE ; - ; but anyways!! this is my last piece for our luck 7′s collab with @haokyeom​ :D this was,, very out of my comfort zone but i still do hope that you enjoy :’>

Your mother had always told you to never trust strangers.

“They’re like foxes,” your mother had once said as the both of you gazed through the window of your small cabin beside the thick walls of trees in the woods. Her hands rested gently over your small shoulders, and you two eyes the coat of orange fur speeding through the outside, a familiar stuffed animal hanging limply by its mouth. You had accidentally left it outside while you were playing.

You frowned upon seeing the animal disappear into the trees, and even at your young age, you knew that it was lost forever.

“They take what they can without a hint of remorse. You wouldn’t even know until you see them running away,” you looked up at your mother who stared into the distance with eyes stained in sadness. You turned around, hugging her waist and burying your face into her stomach, and she released a laugh as she patted your head. “My Y/N’s a smart girl, right? Never forget mommy’s words, okay?”

And you did. For eighteen years, you had lived with only the company of your mother, your homeschool teachers, and your precious cat, Salem. There were times when your grandparents would visit, usually during the holidays, but you weren’t exactly close with them (they didn’t seem to like you, either). It was only when you had finally entered college when you were given the chance to actually mingle with other people, especially people that were your age, and it was the first time that you had left to live on your own outside of your homey cottage beside the woods.

Initially, your mother was against the idea of you living in your campus’ dorms, especially the fact that you had to live with another person that you knew nothing of. You weren’t keen on the thought either, but it was far more reasonable than commuting every single day to the city all the way from the middle of nowhere.

At least your roommate was never around.

‘Staying over at Johnny’s xx,’ you sighed upon seeing the text message, and you stepped forward in the light when the person before you did as well. It was only the third week of the semester and you were already wishing for things to go back as they were.

A part of it was your fault for being socially inept, generally avoiding people and not even talking to anybody unless talked to. Your mother’s words rang into your head every single time, and naturally you had built up a wall. This wall was what made you feel comfortable, made you feel safe— you don’t trust anyone here, and it would be better to finish your studies without getting personally tangled with other people.

“Hi! What can I get you?”

Though, there were indeed times where you wished that you were at the very least not so awkward.

“A regular americano,” it took you so much strength to squeeze that out of our esophagus, relieving the tightened airway with a breath of relief when the barista nodded at your order and jotted it down. Hurriedly, you went to sit at an empty table, your racing heart making you move quicker than necessary. God, you wondered how many more trips to campus cafe would it take until you finally got the courage to order without feeling you were being held at gunpoint.

You huffed, squeezing your eyes shut. At least you didn’t stutter today, so that’s improvement.

Stop deluding yourself, Y/N. You’re still—

“Whoa. Careful, now.”

A thud. The feeling of warmth fluttering over your shoulders. An unfamiliar sweet voice seeping into your ears. And you looked up.

“Are you okay?”

His steady grip had left your shoulders but the traces of his warmth were still buzzing over your clothed skin like mini fireworks erupting when he made contact, and when you met his concerned eyes, it felt like you were about to reach the climax of the light show. He didn’t say anything, only waiting for the confirmation to fall from your lips with a worried look on his face. Your heart was still racing, but it was in a completely different rhythm. 

You had once felt your heart threatening to bounce off of your chest out of fear, and at times due to excitement. Your pulse rising due to nervousness was already like an unwanted friend to you.

But this.

What is this?

“Miss?”

“I, uh—” the man shot you a smile that was devoid of any malice despite you being a stuttering and mess that was frozen in place. Heat rushed to your cheeks while you were trapped underneath his gaze. You wanted to move but it felt like your mind was completely detached from your body, soaring above your head because you can't seem to grab a hold of it. But with enough willpower, you managed to squeak out a small “sorry’ before shuffling away to the farthest seat possible with your head down.

When you sat yourself on the seat, the first thing you did was look up to the direction of the male, only to see an empty space. You bit down your lip, hastily taking out your laptop from your bag and just move on from what happened, but the racing of your heartbeat refused to let it go. Was this… normal? You let out a choked groan, removing your hands from the keyboard to bury your heated face into your palms. There were times where you hated that you were so sheltered, and this was one of them.

If only your mother wasn’t so protective of you, if only she let you live a normal life, if only—

Your phone started buzzing.

Slowly, you sat up and took out your phone from your jean pocket, and the pace of your heart was slowed down by a surge of guilt.

‘How were classes today, honey? I hope you drank enough water today. Even when I’m around, you always seem to forget. The weekend is just around the corner. Are you coming home?’

You smiled. Of course, your mother had only wanted what’s best for you. Finally relaxing your muscles, you adjusted your position on the chair and silently tapped on our phone.

‘Classes were fine, mom. And that was before! I’ve been drinking a loooot of water, you know? Do you want me to…’

The next day had come. You quietly entered the near barren classroom, the early morning rays leaking through the open glass windows on the wall. You liked this class mainly because not a  lot of people are enrolled in it— even if it meant sacrificing a few more hours of your sleep. The less people to deal with the better.

I’ll just take a nap later after lunch. You thought to yourself as you let out yawn, your palm hovering over your mouth as you did. You arrived a little earlier than usual, so there was still an ample amount of time to review for a test for a different class before your professor arrived. You recalled your conversation with your mother yesterday, and you were slightly disheartened when you told her that you couldn’t come home for the weekend because you had a lot of things to finish that required you to be on campus. Even if you wanted to go, you couldn’t risk lagging behind your work.

A few more people entered your peripheral as you were scanning your notes, and you took this as a signal to put it away. You pulled your bag over your lap and tucked in your notes neatly before pulling out your laptop. More people started flooding and you noticed that the seat beside you was now occupied.

“You seem fine today.”

You jolted, the familiar voice entering your ears causing the veins underneath your skin to start buzzing. The moment you turned your head to your side, you were met by a small smile from the man that you bumped into yesterday. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“I-it’s fine.”

Has he always been in this class? You’ve never seen him here until now. Then again, you didn’t really pay attention to the faces around you. The gap between your chairs seemed a little too close for your sanity, so you scooted a bit farther to the left.

“Are you feeling alright now?” his voice caused you to abruptly freeze as you tried to discreetly move your chair without being exposed, and you bit down your tongue. As if he noticed the sudden distance between you two, he thoughtlessly moved his chair closer. “You didn’t look too well yesterday considering how dazed you were.”

Why was he talking to you? A lot of people did try to befriend you during the first few days, but it gradually stopped upon them seeing how dismissive you were. “O-oh, I’m fine, uh— sorry for bumping into you,” he had his elbow propped on the table, his cheek resting on his palm as faced you, a seemingly permanent smile on his face that you’ve been desperately trying (and failing) to avoid. Maybe isolating yourself from the rest of the world dulled down your ability to perceive normal human emotions like the stuttering of your heart was trying to tell you.

Jesus, you thought that you were going crazy.

“That’s good to hear,” he hummed, turning his attention to the laptop screen before him. “My name’s Jeonghan, by the way.”

Jeonghan. You repeated in your head. Why did finding out his damned name feel like 200 pounds of gratification? Maybe you were really going insane. He cocked his head to your direction, the curve of his lips that never disappeared aiming directly at you, but they did not part to say anything. Jeonghan looked like he was waiting for you, which caused you to intermittently panic because why in the world was he just staring at you like that?

“It’s not fair that I gave you my name but I don’t know yours.”

Oh.

“Y/N,” your cheeks flared as you spoke, diverting your eyes from him out of embarrassment. “It’s Y/N.”

He released a light laugh before nodding in affirmation, and you swore your heart was trying to run away from you in condonation. It felt like hours had passed it between the seconds of your small exchanges, causing you to wonder when your professor was going to enter and distract you from the fervent blows on your ribcage.

It didn’t seem like your professor was arriving any time soon— the guy was always late so you weren’t even remotely surprised but for the love of god, he could’ve made an exemption today. Your eyes flickered over to Jeonghan’s space on the long table, and you saw him scribbling indecipherable doodles on what was once a blank sheet. You bit the inside of your cheek, debating with yourself over and over again until one side of your mind finally overtook your senses and sensibilities.

You jumped into the ocean when you’ve never even stepped into a lake.

“I—I never noticed that you were in this class until today.”

It took a lot from you to say that one simple sentence, the words barely squeezing past your throat, and you realized just how pathetic you were. Luckily for you, Jeonghan didn’t seem to mind the lapses in your voice, the diversion of your eyes, or the way your fingers nervously thrummed over the white coated desk. Even if he did, he didn’t say anything about it, only sending that angelic smile on your way.

“Really? I’ve noticed you since the first day,” he started. “To be frank, I’ve been meaning to talk to you for a while now, but you always looked like you didn’t want to be bothered.”

“You— you wanted to talk to me? Why?” 

He shrugged. “You seemed cute,” there was a slight pause before he continued. “And I was right.”

You blinked, gawking at him. Jeonghan was saying such— such unprovoked things without a hint of shame while your face was flaring like it just made contact with the sun. In the middle of you trying to recover, your professor had finally decided to walk in, capturing the attention of Jeonghan and everyone else inside the class. You released a breath that you didn’t know that you were holding and lightly tapped both of your cheeks in attempts to lower your ever rising temperature. You caught the male beside you laughing a little, and when you slightly turned your head to face him, you were struck defenseless with a playful wink.

It was quiet for the rest of the class, but you couldn’t focus. Not when your mind was making a lot of noise, not when your heart was about to explode inside your chest.

And definitely not when the pretty boy beside you kept on shooting you glances in between. 

“Do you like movies?”

Jeonghan asked the moment he sat down beside you, and your brows raised at his sudden question. It had been a week since your first encounter with him, and within those few days, you’ve been seeing more and more of him. You weren’t sure if it was a coincidence or if he’d been deliberately trying to squeeze himself into your life.

But what did you know? Nothing. That’s why you let him.

“I do,” you answered, a small smile tugging at your lips. You remembered the times when you and your mother would watch countless movies in just a single day when you were feeling sad. You couldn’t leave the house easily, and when you did it was nothing but forest, forest, and more forest. Sometimes you were lucky to come across a wild hare, or sometimes even a small deer. Which reminds you— it’s been a while since you’ve gone home. You took a mental note to schedule some time for you to go back there.

Your curious eyes flickered over to Jeonghan. “Why?”

“There’s a film festival this weekend,” he leaned back against his chair, legs crossed and arms swinging lazily at his sides until he raised one hand to your face, a finger poking your cheek. “And I’m taking this pretty girl with me.”

“What?”

You gaped, dumbstruck. His lips were pressed into a brazen smile as his eyes were gleaming at you while you were still frozen in shock. He didn’t even ask you— did he think that you were just going to go with whatever he’s saying that easily?

“I—I haven’t agreed to anything!” you rebuked with a quick stammer, which caused a frown to replace the previous smile on Jeonghan’s face.

“But I thought you said you liked movies,” he sat down straight, the legs of his chair making a noise upon meeting the floor. The unabashed pout on his face, accompanied by the confused furrowing of his eyebrows, soon dissipated from his features when he let out a sudden gasp. “Wait, are you saying you don’t want to go with me?”

“I-it’s not that! I’m just—”

You couldn’t come up with any words to follow, distracted by the pained expression that Jeonghan wore. Was he just overreacting to mess with you? Was it fake? Or was he really hurt? Your ineptitude to social cues made you want to rip your hair out of your scalp. Once more, you quickly looked at him before snapping your head away, harshly biting down your lip before taking in a sharp inhale.

“Okay, fine!” Jeonghan’s face lit up, the corners of his lips tugging upwards. “I—I’ll go with you.”

You refused to look at him with how much your face was heating up, but you heard him let out a satisfied hum. It was quiet for a moment, giving u the opportunity to relax your shoulders and release your breath. Looks like the professor is late again. You dug into your bag to take out your notes, relaying yourself before class actually starts, but your actions were halted when you felt a thin, cold object pressing lightly against your arm. You looked over to see a phone, and the phone was attached to a hand, and a hand which belonged to a Yoon Jeonghan who was twinkling at you with an expectant gaze.

“Your number.”

Any moment now you swore that you were going to melt.

Within seconds, you snatched the device from his hands, rapidly smashing down the few digits, and you shoved it back to him at the speed of light. How you wanted to throw yourself out of the window, right now. A quick buzz in your pocket distracted you from your internal meltdown, and you took your own phone out, expecting a text from your mother, but instead—

‘See you on saturday, pretty girl :) hehe <3’

You shot up to meet the smug smile on Jeonghan’s face, and you bashfully looked back down at the message on your phone, feeling a smile of your own blossoming on your face.

It was late at night when you two finished.

Jeonghan insisted on bringing you home, protesting when you said that you said you could make it your way back at the movies, protesting when you said that you can walk through the campus to your dorm building alone, protesting when you said that you can head upstairs by yourself, and now when you had finally reached your floor, he stopped protesting— but he didn’t seem to how any signs of leaving just yet.

“Did you have fun?” he asked in a quiet tone. It was near midnight, and neither of you expected that the festival would go on for this long. You nodded, laughing a little, back pressed against the door leading to your room. Perhaps you were feeling a little loopy and tired from all the movies you watched, some of the scenes that stood out to you still replaying in your head.

He smiled, a few tufts of his hair shadowing over his eyes. “I’m glad.”

“I took note of a few of the films that I really liked! I’ll probably rewatch them with my mom when I get home,” you beamed, and he chuckled at your enthusiasm. “What about you?”

You almost regretted that you asked. Jeonghan was silent for a moment, a pondering look on his face as his eyes stared at the side before quickly flickering back to you. His lips were curved into a playful grin as he ever so slowly closed in on you, causing you to melt yourself into the wooden surface of your door as your heart violently thundered.

“Do you want me to be honest?” he asked in a teasing tone. His face was barely hovering over yours, and you felt your nerves screaming at you to rest your racing pulse. He didn’t do anything, though, seemingly waiting for you to respond to his question, but all you could manage was a small nod. “I wasn’t really paying attention to the movies.”

Your breath hitched and your mind was a whir. What was he doing? The waves of your senses were pulsating in an uneven rhythm, causing you to stumble over your own presence of mind as it was gradually slipping away, replaced by a haze of an uncharted storm of emotions overtaking you.

Heat was rising and you didn’t know what to do.

“I would have paid attention if it wasn’t for this pretty girl distracting me the entire time.”

“Jeonghan!”

You exclaimed, your voice being louder than expected. “I-it’s getting late. Isn’t—isn’t it time for you to go?”

There was a nervous smile on your lips as you stared up at him, eyes quivering when you tried to meet his clouded gaze. You waited for him to go, to step away from his closeness so that you’d finally have enough room to breathe, but dropped an unexpected question.

“Do you want me to go?”

The silence was deafening.

Jeonghan waited for you to say something, but the answer was something you yourself did not know. He waited until he derived the answer from your lack of response, sending you a nod and a smile before turning away. Your eyes were shaky, teeth sinking into your bottom lip in your moment of an unprecedented assault of hesitation, head filled with white noise because you couldn't think— therefore you listened to the fever stirring your restlessness.

You grabbed onto the sleeve of his coat at the last moment.

There was a glint in his eyes when he turned around, a knowing look on his face as if he had been expecting it. Swift steps and an even swifter heartbeat chased after you and once again Jeonghan was mere centimeters away from you, his warm breath igniting fire against your skin. “You could’ve just said so, pretty girl.”

He didn’t even give you the chance to breathe when he captured your unguarded mouth with his.

The air brushing against your fevered skin felt different, especially when Jeonghan was all up against you, ravishing your parted lips until you felt your senses slipping away. God, you’ve never done anything like this before and your conscience belatedly rang in your ears the moment you felt his hot tongue claiming yours as his own. You let out a faint whimper, the voice at the back of your head yelling at you that this was wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. This was wrong.

You barely knew him— ten days wasn’t enough for you to know him. But you were too drunk over this foreign heat of emotion unfurling in your core to listen to your better judgement. You shouldn’t have stopped him from leaving, you shouldn’t have let him graze his teeth over your skin, let his hands roam all over your your body, let the feeling him pressed roughly against you being the only thing your dizzied mind could think of

But fuck, it felt so good.

You blindly reached for the door knob as you let Jeonghan trail wet kisses on your neck, and with a clicking of the lock, the both of you disappeared into the darkness of your room.

You said that the first was going to be the last— your mother’s words like playing a mantra in your head to bring you to the edge of guilt. But a week had passed yet that “last” never seemed to surface.

“H-hi, mom. Yeah, I—I’m fine, don;t worry. My classes just ended and—ah!”

You bit down your tongue after releasing the uninhibited noise, gulping down when you realized that Jeonghan had no intentions of stopping his ceaseless attacks from your jaw all the way down to your chest. There was fear trickling in your veins as your mother was still at the end of the line, possibly hearing the indecent sounds coming from her own daughter. You tried your best to remain quiet, but it started to become impossible when you felt Jeonghan’s teasing fingers brushing over your clit. You stared at him with wide eyes, suppressing the violent waves crashing over you, but all he did was smile at you and kiss you cheek before pressing his fingers down.

A loud gasp fell from your quivering lips.

“Mm? Shouldn't you be keeping quiet, baby?” he mumbled into your jaw before pressing a down kiss, and you let out a shaky breath. The hand that you were using to hold your phone returned to your ear, and you were welcomed by the worried voice of your mother.

“O-oh, it was just Salem! The little guy suddenly jumped— jumped on my lap,” you trailed off with a hint of nervous laughter, and you met the mischievous glint shining in Jeonghan’s eyes. He removed himself from you, causing you to close your eyes in relief and let out a sigh. “Home? Ah, I—I don’t think I can go there soon, but I’ll make sure to— oh my god.”

You were too focused on your conversation on the phone to notice that Jeonghan was now buried between your legs, nipping at your inner thighs. You slapped your hand over your lips, suppressing your moans from his bites, kisses and licks. He shot you a look of warning, and your heart stopped when you felt his hot breath hovering over your core. Quickly, you fumbled out a farewell into your phone.

"S-sorry, mom, I—I have to go—"

Another week had passed and you started to feel the consequences of your decisions crashing over you like falling debris. Jeonghan and you still met frequently, but "good morning" and "good night" texts slowly fizzled into conversations consisting only of "can I come over?" and "are you free?". It left a heavy feeling in your gut when coffee dates and movie theatres were forgotten, replaced with nights in his or your room, and suffocating scenes in his car. You couldn't help but think that maybe you should have thought things through.

But you were weak.

Today was no different.

You were buried in your bed, thick blankets covering your figure as you watched Jeonghan swiftly pull a shirt over his head. He had an evening class after this and you couldn't blame him that he was in such a hurry. Even when knowing this, you still wanted to take your chances.

"Jeonghan."

You called out to him in a quiet voice, small and fragile and lacking in firmness. He stood in the middle of the room, ready to leave but he turned around to look back at you— even if it was stupid, it bubbled the faintest shimmer of hope. You pulled the covers closer to yourself, looking down at the crumpled white sheets as you pressed your lips together before saying.

"I like you."

He didn't say it back.

Instead he smiled at you, feet padding against your wooden floors as he walked up to you in bed, pressing a small kiss on your forehead before ruffling your already messed up hair.

"I'll see you tomorrow, pretty girl."

But you didn't see him tomorrow.

You didn't see him at all after that.

The seat beside you in class was now occupied by an abhorrent emptiness that made you want to drag your nails against your skin. You tried searching for him in the crowded walls of the large classroom, but he was either not there or hidden by the enormous mass of bodies. He left you with a heavy heart and the only one you could find yourself to blame was yourself. Your mother's words never stopped ringing inside your head since then.

It was like fate was laughing at you when you saw him again at the campus cafe— just like the first time you met him. You were in a hurry to leave when you accidentally bumped into him, your coffee nearly spilling from your hands. You parted ways without anything exchanged.

Your mother had always told you to never trust strangers.

Maybe you should have listened to her words.

[gaemkyuu]

So...Boyfriend? Boyfriend.

Warnings: death of a loved one and grief. There is one mention to drinking a bottle of wine but all characters in the story are above the age of 21. A/N: this is based off a post @ah2113​ made a little while ago! I liked the idea and decided to write a cute fluffy piece on it! Hope you like it! “Reader and Charlie are best friends and they met on JATP. Charlie and the reader are in love with each other but don’t know. The readers grandma passes away and she calls Charlie, who is in a completely different state/country, in tears about the situation. Charlie feels horrible and completely drops everything he’s doing and immediately flies out to the reader and surprises them. He is with them throughout the whole viewing and funeral and meets her entire family. Everybody mistakens him for the readers boyfriend because of how much he is doing to help and tells the reader that he is clearly in love with them.”  Disclaimer: This is a FICITONAL writing piece! In no way do I claim characters in this piece act this way in real life. 

Masterlist *now taking requests ;)

So...Boyfriend? Boyfriend.

Bzzz. Bzzz.

Charlie was in the middle of an interview when his phone started vibrating. Normally he kept it on airplane mode, but today he forgot. He quickly reached for his phone and saw her name pop up on the screen, losing focus for a brief moment on the interview. 

“Pardon me? Could you repeat the question?” Charlie was trying so hard to focus on the interview at hand but knowing he was on the last question, made it all the more difficult to focus when he knew she was calling.

“Charlie, the fans want to know. Are you single?” he chuckled but since he was distracted, he didn’t give a really good answer.

“Kinda” he regretted it as soon as it left his mouth and the fact that he started blushing made the situation worse! Thankfully the interviewer didn’t press any further into the matter and made a casual joke about it. They quickly wrapped the interview knowing that Charlie had another one scheduled right afterwards, but he had a few minutes to make up a phone call.

Amelie had worked on set for season one of Julie as a hair and make up artist and shocked many at how talented she was for her age. She got along well with the cast and would often hang out with them on their days off, but for some reason she gravitated the most to Charlie. Everyone often teased them about the chemistry they had and how they would make a great couple but both of them would laugh at the comments and deny any feelings towards one another. They were simply nothing more but really good friends.

Or so they thought.

Amelie was head over heels for the brunette and Charlie for her. She loved his smile and enthusiasm for life. She admired his work ethic and passion for what he did. She would squash every thought about being with Charlie because he was too good for her. She liked the weirdest things and entertained people with the most random facts. She could spend hours in an art and fashion museum, when most people could only spend so much time. Amelie saw herself as weird and knew that Charlie saw her as nothing more than a friend.

The opposite was true. Charlie loved her quirkiness and nerdiness around the strangest things. He loved that she was always so modest and humble, even though she had all the right to brag at how amazing she was at her talents. He loved how she was always up for trying something new and that she had an eye for fashion, design and art, but he knew she didn’t see him as anything more than a friend. That still didn’t stop Charlie from always being there for her.

“Charlie?” her voice came out in a broken and quiet whisper. He could tell that she was crying and he instantly felt his stomach drop. A few sniffles came from the other line before the voice spoke again. “She’s gone Charlie... Grandmaman is gone...” he could hear her voice start to shake again.

“Say the word Amelie and I am there” Charlie glanced at his watch,8:55pm. He had five more minutes until the next interview with the pop culture podcast from Sydney. This meant that it was 5:00am in London, where Amelie was working on Netflix’s newest series. “Ams?”

“It’s okay. I’m okay. I’m sorry I didn’t mean to disturb you, I just didn’t know who else to talk to...” she sniffled quietly not sure what else to say.

“What time are you leaving to get to set?” 8:57pm, he was running out of time. He saw the notification that the next interviewer had signed on to their zoom meeting.

“I gotta be on set at 7:00am so the van will be here to pick me up at 6:30am. It’s my last day on set, so there’s that” she sniffled again, feeling herself calm down with Charlie on the other line. She desperately needed him, but she couldn’t ask him that. He was doing press for season 2 of Julie and the Phantoms and he needed to be available, not off consoling his friend who was madly in love with him. 

“Amelie, listen, I have to jump onto the next interview, but try to get a little more sleep and drink some water. I’ll call you as soon as I’m done. When are you flying back?” Charlie felt awful having to hang up on her when he knew she needed him.

“I’ll be on the next flight out to Vancouver. Hopefully there’s a flight this evening back to Canada. My mom’s really upset and my siblings are rushing to get home for her” Amelie took a deep breath and listened to the frustrated sigh on the other end. He was probably annoyed that she called him. “Thank you for picking up Char”

“Anything for you Ams... I’m really sorry but I have to go now... If you’re busy when I call, can you let me know when you’re at the airport?” Amelie agreed and hung up the phone, flopping on the bed and a silent stream of tears falling from her eyes again. Meanwhile, Charlie sat in his LA bedroom, head in hands frustrated that he couldn’t be there for her.

***

Amelie watched out the window as the plane landed in Vancouver. She felt an anxiousness to get off the plane and be with her mom, but she knew she had to go through security and baggage. She didn’t notice that her leg was restlessly bouncing until the nice old lady beside her placed a hand on her lap. 

“Excited are we?” she smiled at her kindly and Amelie blushed, a little embarrassed. “I was once in love too. I get the feeling”

“Actually, I’m just anxious to be with my mom... My grandmother passed away yesterday and I wanna be there for her” the old lady’s smile changed to an empathetic one and she patted her knee.

“I’m sorry for your loss my dear... I lost my sister a year ago today. It is not an easy thing to grieve and I can tell that your soul feels heavy. You might want to think about sharing that load with someone” she smiled. A flight attendant interrupted their conversation letting them know that she had priority to leave the plane. The old woman then looked at Amelie and winked. “They’re letting us off the plane now honey. Thank you miss, but my daughter can grab my bags from the upper compartment, can’t she” baffled at the kindness of the old woman, Amelie dumbly nodded and stood to help her. As they made their way through the gate, an attendant was waiting for the old woman. “You can leave my bags with this gentle man” she smiled.

“Thank you, you didn’t have to do that” the old woman took her hand. “Your mother is fortunate to have you as a daughter. Now go and be with her” Amelie smiled and gave the old woman a hug, and teared up a bit remembering her own grandmother. Wiping away a tear, Amelie said thank you again and headed off to get her bags. To no surprise, getting her suitcase was a gong show because they had to share a lane with another flight. By the time she got there, tons of people waited right by the carousel for their bags, making Amelie stand in the back and tippy toe to see a glimpse of her bag. She was fortunate that a man had helped her as she squeezed her way to the front, waiting for her bag. With a deep breath, she exited the doors and dialed her mother.

“Hello? Maman? What car are you in? Oh wait! I see it!” Amelie quickly rushed outside of the door at YVR to get to her mother’s vehicle. She was able to find a flight that evening and she left right away. The flight was long, but she was able to make it home to her mother’s side in 24 hours. She trotted over to her mother’s vehicle that pulled into the loading zone, flashing their hazards on, her mother getting out of the passenger side. Amelie stopped for a moment, confused that her mother wasn’t driving the car. Her mother quickly embraced her in her arms and both of them shared a tearful hug. “Who’s driving maman?”

Charlie stepped out of the driver’s seat and took Amelie’s suitcase from her, as she stood there with her mouth open. “Surprise?” she immediately felt a sudden wave of emotion wash over her and she jumped into Charlie’s waiting arms crying as he held her tight. She felt sadness and happiness while grieving over her Grandmother and feeling elated at the sudden presence of the boy.

“How?” she sniffled and pulled away, wiping her tears.

“Charlie knew how sad you were over Grandmaman, so he texted me late last night and flew in early this morning” her mother explained. Amelie’s mother knew of her crush on the boy and always encouraged her to pursue the relationship further, but she always insisted to her mother that they would be nothing more than friends. Her mother would roll her eyes at her daughter every time she said that, knowing that the chemistry and the feelings were there, but the two were just too stubborn to admit it.

“That’s what friends are for right?” 

Right. Friends.

***

After being picked up at the airport, they went straight to her mother’s house and helped her mom plan out things for the funeral. Naturally, Charlie became the chauffer, driving Amelie and her mom around the city to make various appointments with funeral directors and lawyers. Amelie’s grandmother gave birth to five children and never remarried after her husband passed away. Amelie had very little recollection of her grandfather as he passed away when she was quite young. Each of her mother’s siblings had at least three kids and each child had at least three kids, making their family huge. That didn’t include her mother’s cousins and their families, all of which would be flying in to attend the funeral in two days time.

Running around was an emotionally exhausting task, not to mention the exhaustion that came with grief. The two women were grateful that Charlie was around for them that day as Amelie’s siblings slowly started to get into town. He ordered pizza for everyone, knowing that all of her siblings would be in Vancouver in time for the funeral. Her grandmother was clear that she wanted the viewing and funeral to be combined into one day, not wanting to prolong her burial process, something that they honored. But with that request, it meant a lot had to be done.

Amelie had four siblings, all of which were older than her, making her the baby of the family. Her brother Benoit had moved to New Brunswick to live with the love of his life Maxime, and he was the second to arrive. He had work to take care of and unfortunately Maxime couldn’t get the time off. Benoit got along very well with Charlie, connecting over Dieppe and how it differed from Fredericton where Benoit lived with his partner. Her twin sisters Rachelle and Rene got into Vancouver right before dinner and actually carried the pizza inside while Charlie paid. Both sisters lived in Toronto, one training on the Olympic figure skating team and the other working in Parliament. Throughout the night, they joked about how cute Charlie was and how they were both single and didn’t mind dating someone younger. This annoyed Amelie but she wouldn’t admit that to anyone. Her third oldest brother, Theo, was the last to arrive, getting in way past dinner but before midnight. He lived in New York pursuing photography and had to finish a shoot before he could come home. Hearing this, Charlie asked him multiple questions about photography when they sat around their mother’s fireplace that night. It was nice to be able to gather as a family before the craziness of their relatives. French Canadian families were big, loud and full of personality, but Amelie knew Charlie understood this dynamic very well.

The next two days passed by in a blur with Charlie helping out wherever he could and sometimes locking himself in her mother’s office to do an interview or meeting here and there. Amelie was so grateful for him because every time she felt overwhelmed or that she was going to cry, he somehow made it to her side, comforting her and helping her be strong. Rachelle and Rene kept telling her to claim Charlie before they did, but Amelie would always insist that they were friends. But when her brothers got involved, Amelie couldn’t help but think that maybe her siblings were right. Maybe she should ask Charlie out, but how could she do that when her entire family was still dealing with the loss of her grandmother?

Just last night, Charlie sat up late into the evening comforting Amelie as she put the slideshow together on her Macbook. She could hardly look at the pictures or listen to the music without tearing up and having mini cry sessions on his shoulder, something he took in stride. It also didn’t help that she had consumed an entire bottle of wine...

In all honesty, Charlie couldn’t be more happy to be by her side at this moment. He knew how hard it was to lose a loved one, especially since he lost his grandmother before filming season one of Julie and the Phantoms. Being here for her was important to him and he wanted to show her that she could always come to him. When she passed out on his shoulder that night, he thought about how badly he wanted to be with her as he tucked her in bed. He loved how she snuggled into his shoulder as he finished up the slide show and he loved that she reached out for him and called his name in her sleep as he walked away. He kissed your forehead goodnight and hated the fact that he couldn’t just call you his.

A soft knock at the door interrupted Amelie’s day dream of her grandmother. She wiped the tears that have unexpectedly fallen from her eyes and took a deep breath. “Come in” her voice was shakier than she wanted it to be, but relief washed over her when Charlie walked in wearing a black dress shirt and tie. He smiled empathetically to her and approached her with open arms, something she gladly accepted. She inhaled his scent, burying her face in his chest, while he rested his head on top of hers. 

“You ready?” Charlie held her tight as he asked this question. This would be the first and last time Amelie would be seeing her deceased grandmother.

“I should be asking you that question” she softly giggled. Charlie would be meeting all of her relatives today, including her annoying cousin Madeleine. 

“You forget that I too have a big family. It’ll be fine. Plus, I’m here for you and not them” Amelie pulled away from the hug to stare him in the eyes, silently figuring whether now was a time to discuss her feelings or not. In the end, she decided against it and smiled softly at him, which he returned.

“Thank you for being here Char... It really means a lot” he chuckled and pulled her close for a second hug, something she would never tire hearing.

“Anything for you Ams. Anything.”

***

The funeral and mass went according to plan and soon enough they found themselves in the church basement with a slide show of her grandmother playing in the background, while guests visited the pastries and beverages being served. Amelie was occupied with the many questions her aunts and uncles had about her career and how she was doing, but she couldn’t help but worry about Charlie. Throughout her conversations with her relatives, she watched Charlie help out her mother with the pastries and beverages, stopping once in a while to entertain the younger cousins at the children’s table. She smiled at him gratefully for helping out so much, but grew a little nervous when her nosy aunts and uncles pulled him aside and started interviewing him. It seemed like he was handling himself fine, but Amelie felt even more confident when he made eye contact with her and winked. 

“Well if it isn’t the Hollywood superstar.” Amelie could feel herself cringe at the sound of the voice. It was Madeline, Amelie’s cousin. They were the same age and same stature, but they couldn’t be more opposite. Madeline pursued modeling at a young age and still continued to do it, but for some reason, she always felt that everything was a competition. Amelie wanted to simply be cousins, but Madeline would take every opportunity to upstage her or show off to their aunts and uncles. Amelie didn’t really care, but the more she didn’t the more vicious Madeleine became. At one point in their lives, Madeleine had moved to Vancouver for more opportunities and ended up living with her family. This caused a lot of drama between the two of them, including Madeleine dating several of her exes and bringing them to family events.

“Hey Mads. Long time no see” Amelie forced herself to be nice and polite, even though she felt her cousin didn’t deserve it. Her black dress was a little too tight and a little too revealing for a funeral, but she wasn’t about to bring that up. “How have you been?”

“Oh you know, living it up in Paris, traveling all over Europe for different modeling jobs. It’s exhausting, but I’m sure you know of it” anyone could hear the sarcasm and apprehension in her voice. Her aunts awkwardly moved away, making up some excuse about visiting other family members so that they could catch up. “How does it feel to be working on a children’s show?”

“I mean, I love what I do, so I can’t complain” Amelie bit her tongue before she could say anything rude. She never understood why her cousin always felt the need to announce how much better she was over her.

“So... optimistic. What’s it feel like to settle?” she felt the blood rush to her face, starting to lose control of her emotions. This was not the place or time to have this conversation, yet Madeline persisted. She took a deep breath trying to level herself and forced a smile on her face. As she opened her mouth to reply, she felt a warm hand hug her lower back and the slight smell of cologne fill the air.

“Everything alright babe?” she blushed at the name and gesture from Charlie, who kissed the top of her head. Madeline flushed and her eyes were as wide as saucers. “Oh hi, I don’t believe we’ve met, I’m Charlie” he reached out his hand towards Madeline, keeping the other wrapped around Amelie. 

“Madeline. It’s nice to meet you Charlie. You’re an actor from the show that she worked on, right? What are you doing here?” Amelie could hear the faintest trace of annoyance in her voice, and shook his hand. Charlie and Amelie looked at each other, a cocky smile on Charlie’s face and slight confusion on Amelie’s. 

“I’m her boyfriend and I came to support her. I’m sure you’ve been dealing with the grief as well and I couldn’t let her go through this alone” part of what Charlie said was true, but Amelie couldn’t help but blush at the mention of boyfriend. No one had actually asked Charlie if they were dating, but a lot of relatives were beating around the bush. Apparently Charlie had said that rather loudly and some of the relatives started gossiping in a hushed voice. 

“Wow Amelie. I didn’t know you had such good taste in men based on your past partners” Charlie laughed at the comment, something Madeline didn’t suspect.

“I wouldn’t say I’m good taste, but Ams if definitely a catch” he gloated and kissed her cheek, causing Amelie to blush furiously. “I don’t mean to be rude, but I actually came over because your mom needs some help” if there was one thing Amelie could count on, it would be Charlie’s ability to read a situation and get her out of it. “Shall we, my love?” she nodded and walked away from Madeline flushed and confused, but also really excited. He moved his hand from her back to her hand, softly dragging her away from the conversation.

“Boyfriend?” Amelie whispered to him, inferring the comments he made to Madeline. 

“I know she ruffles your feathers, so why not ruffle hers?” Benoit interrupted Charlie, asking him if he could help put some of the tables from upstairs away. “You’re mom’s in the kitchenette, you can probably hide there for a bit. I got you a plate of pastries that I stashed in the back” she thanked him and watched him walk away with her brother. Before she could take another step, Rachelle and Rene linked arms with her on either side and rushed her into the kitchenette.

“So you’re dating now?!” Rene questioned and before Amelie could answer, Rachelle interrupted her. “When were you going to tell us this?!”

“About time” her mother scoffed, stirring another jug of fruit punch. “Okay you two, leave your sister alone to breathe for a second. Take these pitchers out to the table and find Theo. Make sure Tante Genevive hasn’t stolen him for a private photoshoot for Facebook” Amelie was grateful that her mother shooed the twins off and passed her the plate that Charlie put aside. 

“Thanks Maman” her mother smiled smugly at her, moving about the kitchenette. “Please don’t say I told you so” her mother made the motion to zip her lips as she giddily made her way around the kitchen.

***

That evening, Amelie’s family stumbled through the front door of her mother’s house, everyone retiring to their rooms for a short moment of relaxation while their mother ordered take out for a late dinner. They had stayed behind to clean up with a few other relatives and put away the church tables and chairs. Charlie didn’t complain a single time and rushed to do whatever he could to help everyone out. Charlie followed Amelie up the stairs to her old bedroom and shut the door behind him as she plopped onto the bed. Part of Amelie did this was because she was tired, but the other part of her did it hopefully to avoid the conversation they were about to have. Charlie quietly sat beside her on the bed and played with her hair, something she absolutely loved.

“So, about today...” this conversation was happening whether she wanted it to or not.

“It was really nice of you to stand up for me but you didn’t have to. I have no problem telling my family it was a small misunderstanding. It should stop them from blabbering to the media” She sat up and Charlie looked incredulously at Amelie confused at what she was saying.

“Ams, I don’t think you get it” again, she interrupted him before he could continue.

“No I do, I get it. You’re an amazing friend Char and you didn’t have to risk the rumours for-” she didn’t complete the thought because Charlie’s lips were suddenly on hers and she completely melted into them. It was like this tension that she never acknowledged left her shoulders, making her feel like she was floating.

“Do you understand now?” he searched her eyes for some sort of confirmation. “I really like you Amelie and I’ve liked you for a long time, but I’ve always thought you wanted to be friends”

“I wanted to be friends?! I thought you friend zoned me first!” he gave her a look for interrupting him. “Sorry”

“Regardless of what happened, being with you here and helping you and your family throughout all of this made me want to be a part of your life so much more. I want to be more than your friend. I know this is a bad time to say this, but I don’t think I can keep pretending that I don’t want to be with you” he held her hand in his and drew nearer to her again. “I really want to be with you if you’ll have me”

She closed the gap between the two of them and kissed him this time, something which Charlie gladly accepted. The two shared a simple but passionate kiss, as if they were confessing two years of secret feelings to each other. A bang at the door startled them.

“Put your pants on! Maman wants you guys to go pick up the take out!” Benoit yelled from behind the door. The two flushed at the comment and heard the snickers and giggles from the other siblings.

“So...boyfriend?”

“Boyfriend.”

[depressedtransguy]

don't read this unless you're @thedragonemperess or I will come to your house and shave your teeth with a razor

@angelwiththeblue-box you can also read

10/07/21

Stephen took me to the carnival for our two year anniversary yesterday night. It was... phenomenal. Normally I don't like going out so publicly on our dates, especially in something as popular as a carnival, but it might be my favorite date of ours so far. He picked me up in his dad's Lamborghini at around 7:30, just as the sun was beginning to sink below the tree line of this stupid little town, and kissed me up against the car as soon as he got his hands on me. The start of his beard pricked me lightly as we did. Then he squeezed my hand lightly and told me he had a surprise that he hoped I liked. I told him if it was from him then I'd adore it. We shared another kiss through giggles before we slipped into the car and began to drive off. Our hands were intertwined on the center console the whole time. He always told me that it was hard to keep his hands off me with me in range and my consent. God... I love him more than anything. But, anyway, the carnival. As we neared, his thumb slid over mine and he told me to close my eyes, which I properly did. He's the only one I trust enough to do that with. I could tell he was excited and a little anxious just from the way he kept squeezing my fingers. It was adorable. Even cuter when we stopped and he temporarily let go as we stopped, only to move to my side of the car and slowly lead me out onto the gravel of the parking lot, practically buzzing with anticipation. I didn't even care what it was at that point, whatever made Stephen this thrilled to show him had to be good. Then he told me to open my eyes. And Jesus Christ I think I audibly gasped. I didn't know what I was really expecting, but when the bright lights spread all throughout the fairgrounds, exploding the navy sky with color, I could swear I was in another realm. As Stephen asked me if I liked it, I noticed his eyes were nervous, so with sparkling eyes I pulled him close and told him I loved it. The smile on his face was worth everything and more. He actually told me the same thing about mine. That was before he took my hand once more and led me past the ticket taker, pulling them out of his jeans and handing them off, us receiving a smile from her as we continued walking out onto the grass. "I know it's not traditional, but when I passed this place the other day I suddenly wanted to take you here," is what he said. "We can leave any time you want." "As long as you're here, I don't care where the date is," is what I said back. And boy was I right. It didn't matter that there were a ton of other people there, they all faded into nothing but background characters as Stephen miraculously won the balloon pop game and happily gifted me a little goat stuffed animal, one that I held close to my heart as I beamed at him. As I pressed my body close to him on the roller coaster, my fingers digging tightly into his bicep, and he held me steady as I stumbled onto the platform post ride. As the ferris wheel stuttered to a stop as we sat at the top, Stephen's hand on my thigh and my hand on his shoulder, and we kissed there, surrounded by nothing but the lights and the infinite abyss of stars. Once the night was over we had slow, sappy sex in his car, too filled with adoration and the need of skin against skin for us to drive back to one of our houses. I lazily drew shapes in the mist on the windows as I was brought back to my place, my mind filled with a soft bliss, and my body feeling like I had been washed over. I had never felt more at peace. And I still did, even as we had our long goodbye kiss and I went to sleep alone, the goat pressed against my chest. I was at peace. So how the hell did I end up here?

A tear slipped off of Loki's cheek and splattered onto his messy handwriting, bleeding the words together and making the many sections of his diary incomprehensible. It made him want to cry harder. That night could very well be all he and Stephen had together, and he was destroying the only stable record of it. Loki tilted back his head and squeezed his fists as tightly as possible.

On 10/07/21, at approximately 11:27, while driving from Loki's house to his, a speeding car struck Stephen's from behind and sent him spinning out of control off a cliff and forcing him to end up upside down near the river below. The person who caused the accident is yet to be found. And Stephen had been in surgery for 17 hours by the time Loki arrived at the hospital after school, right after he had gotten the news. He was still unconscious by then and practically looked like he had been forced through a meat grinder. Loki couldn't even glance up at him anymore, it made his heart twist into knots and make him want to throw up and sob. Not because he looked disgusting, although he certainly didn't look great, it was solely because of how his state reminded him of how hurt his boyfriend was. Loki couldn't imagine how much pain he was in. The cuts and scrapes on his face, the bruises on his arms, and the absolute wreck that his hands appeared to be, it all made him want to tear the skin off his bones. It hurt so much.

With a loud curse Loki snapped his notebook shut and pressed his face into it, doing his best to clear his mind instead of thinking all that he and Stephen had had together. The late nights of 'studying', the private dates, the stolen kisses at school... it had all slipped through their fingers because of one fucking idiot on the road.

Maybe it was his fault. Maybe, despite it being a school night, Loki should have insisted on Stephen staying the night with him. None of this would have happened if he had done that. Of course it's my fault.

Although they were trembling badly and the fact that he was still on the verge of tears, Loki slowly opened his fists to check up on the mess of blood that was beginning to pool up under the curve of his claws, smeared across his pale skin and nails. As he heard the door open, Loki closed them tightly once again with only a tiny hiss of pain. It was the doctor.

"Please tell me he's going to be okay," Loki whispered after a few seconds of nothing but tentious silence between him and the doctor, the concerned expression that she had exhibited when she entered and noticed him already making his stomach churn. "I don't care if it's not the truth, please just tell me he's going to be okay."

She-Dr. Palmer, as it read on her name tag-sighed gently and walked over to the young man, placing a hand on his shoulder as she sat down next to him. He didn't consider that a good sign. "I'm not going to lie to you hon. But let me ask first. How are you connected to Stephen?"

"He's-*hic*-he's my boyfriend."

"Alright honey. I'll give you the bad news first. His hands have suffered an extreme amount of nerve damage to his hands, and the surgeries so far have done nothing to correct them. It's looking like his hands are irrefutably damaged. He's never going to be able to use them normally again. But that's only if he comes out of the coma, which he only has a 50% chance of," Dr. Palmer explained as gently as was possible as it was to tell a teenager how badly his partner was injured.

It was like Loki's already broken heart shattered. The previous night could very well have been their last time together. And sure, it was perfect, but was he satisfied with never being with Stephen again? "What?" Loki choked out.

"I am so sorry. I truly am, but there is some good news. The probability of his awakening has only been getting higher, so that 50% chance of him not coming out of the coma could very easily become zero percent in no time. And you can help with that too."

For the first time since the school day did Loki look hopeful. "I can? How?"

"Talk to him. Despite his state, he can hear you in there. Talk about your time together, the past- I know it might hurt you, and please don't push yourself out of your comfort zone, but do what you can. Okay?"

With a bit of hesitation Loki slowly nodded, once again removing his nails from his palms. "Okay. I can do that," he told her.

Dr. Palmer gave him a small smile and gently patted him on the back before she stood up again, quickly checking Stephen's vitals, and then left to most likely check on another patient. Loki then took advantage of the silence and pushed his chair over to Stephen's bedside, ignoring the blood smearing on the chair's armrests as he did so. He still stared down at his lap once he was close, fearing breaking down in tears for what seemed like the hundredth time, but he did have the courage to lift up one of his own hands and rest it on his bicep. "Hey." An immediate voice crack wasn't a great start. Not that he knew any other way to begin. Any thoughts of their past two years together made Loki want to sob, now especially since he knew that he could very possibly never make any new ones with him. But he couldn't just stay silent. He had to say something, anything to make his guilt of not making Stephen stay the night with him lessen just a little bit. And according to the doctor, talking about their happy memories together could actually help. Hopefully. But it was nonetheless better than crying his eyes out for no reason. "Remember how we started dating?" Loki paused as if he was asking for an answer. "We were sophomores. You were in my chemistry class, and I always thought you were really cute, but I was too scared to talk to you and you were too nervous to, so we passed nothing but awkward glances and sarcastic comments for months on end. Until we got paired up for a project and you asked for my number. I gave it enthusiastically of course. From there we started talking and flirting a bit, although still too anxious to actually make a move, until you grabbed me when we were in the library and pushed me up against the back wall and asked to kiss me. You can guess what my response was." He chuckled dryly. "I might be able to say that I was already in love with you when you pulled back for air and gave me that little gorgeous smirk of yours, pulled my hips to yours, and whispered 'can I do it again?'. I was putty in your hands in the Greek philosophy section."

Loki quickly fell silent at the mention of his hands. With a small swallow, he managed to continue with a low voice. "When we were science class partners, you would tell me about how much you wanted to become a doctor. A neurosurgeon to be specific. I didn't exactly know why yet, you told me that a few months into our romantic relationship, but I eagerly listened about your plans for Columbia nonetheless. Not that-" he was crying again, "-not that that'll be possible now." Loki cleared his throat and tried to wipe his tears away with his trembling hands. "Even if you wake up." The student began to gently stroke his boyfriend's bandaged bicep while still staring at his lap, watching water splash onto where the excess of his oversized hoodie was rolled up and darkened the gray fabric.

It was Stephen's hoodie.

Using his feet, Loki slowly began to push his chair back until he eventually hit the wall, bunching his hands up in the hoodie's collar and raising it up to his nose, inhaling the signature cologne that he had fallen in love with over the last two years. The hood was soon flipped over his head and his knees were brought up to his chest, curling himself into the fetal position, and then finally letting all his tears out into the secure housing of Stephen's smell. That's where he had always been safe, and no matter either of their states, it still worked. Loki actually fell asleep like that after half an hour or so.

Stephen's parents found him in the morning and called Loki's family, and Thor ended up carrying him back home.

But as soon as he woke up he went back to the hospital. He wasn't missing the possibility of Stephen waking up.

10/31/21

I've still been going to school. Because my parents want me to. But I'm not doing well. My grades are beginning to sink from it, and the teachers don't care. I can't focus in class, I'm just thinking about if Stephen's going to wake up or not. What if he's waking up alone while I'm in Calculus? What if he flatlines when I'm in history? There's just too many probabilities. I don't give a shit about my grades, I just want Stephen back. I know that's such a stupid little kid thing to say since we are high schoolers, but it's been two years! And he's shown me so much love and care in that time that I don't know what I'd do without him. Not that anyone else seems to care. This is why I want Stephen back, he's the only friend I have left. In real life friend I mean. And I don't say that like I'm attached to his hip all the time, we have our own private time that I respect, but they all moved away. Why am I defending myself to a notebook? God this hospital is making me crazy. Stephen looks better, which I'm really glad about. Dr. Palmer tells me I've helped a lot by staying and talking to him, he should most likely wake up soon, but she did tell me that I can go home soon instead of only leaving for school and for showering. But I'm not doing that. At least not until he wakes up. If- WHEN he wakes up, I bet I'll get a lecture for not taking care of myself well enough just for him, so I'll probably be forced to go home more. God, I want him to lecture me. Just to hear his voice again. It's been over three weeks. I don't think I've worn anything besides underwear that isn't his. Jeans, sweatpants, shirts, hoodies, everything. It's the least I can do to replace the feeling of him being with me. At this time, I can't help but think of our Halloween's together. The first one we weren't even a month into dating, so we just bought a bunch of candy and ate candy at home while watching horror movies. But the next year, after a full 12 months of being in love, we dressed up as Gomez and Morticia Addams. Stephen looked unfairly hot in that striped suit with his hair slicked back and a teasing smile on his face. That was some good sex we had later on. Stephen said he had a thing for the dress I had on, as well as the red lipstick, which I believe since his hands barely left my hips the entire time I had it on. He also grinned from ear to ear when he saw the lipstick kiss marks I put on his collar. I love him. God I do. Please... I need him back.

Loki closed the notebook after his last few words of desperation and slipped his pencil behind his ear, raising his head up to look at Stephen with glassy eyes. He looked peaceful. By then all his scrapes and cuts were mostly healed, which made him look way better, but his hands were still pinned up in suspended holds with ragged scars lining his rough skin. More surgeries had been done on them, and Dr. Palmer once again said that he would be permanently disabled when he woke. Once again it hurt Loki's heart to think about how much pain that he must be in. The swollen scars didn't look like they felt nice. "I'm so sorry," Loki whispered as he reached up to his face and gently brushed his overgrown hair out of his face, still feeling guilty about the incident. "If I just made you stay you would still be here with me." Moving around the bed's guard rail, Loki sat on the edge of the mattress and sunk his fingers into his thick hair once more, gently toying with it as he began to talk again. "Remember junior prom? It was on February 26th; on the same night as the public prom that the school had put together. (We wanted to be alone.) You put on this navy blue suit of yours that perfectly brings out your eyes, and I bought this short green dress that made you grab my ass as soon as I came out of the house. You gave me an Agapanthus corsage that you had made yourself. And then, you kissed me, and told me that the flower meant 'never-fading love'. Like ours." A tear fell down Loki's cheek and plopped down onto Stephen's bare bicep. "I don't exactly know where me telling this story was going, my mind is a bit fuzzy and has been for weeks, hospitals being bad places to sleep plus depression isn't really an equation for good sleep, so I'll just say this. I'm not going anywhere until you return. And when you do, I'm not leaving either. Your recovery, physical therapy, going back to school, I'm going to be by your side. Okay?" Loki gently kissed Stephen's forehead and continued to stroke his hair, his other hand resting on the crook of his elbow and gently stroking his skin as if he was soothing him. "So please wake up."

With one last small peck Loki reluctantly slipped off the bed to enter the hospital bathroom, quickly using the bathroom before rubbing the sink water on his face as if that would wake him up from the haze that he had been living in, just moving from the hospital to school to the hospital to school and so on so forth. It was just a cycle of being depressed and near and being depressed and far. Fun.

Just deciding to repress his emotions for the billionth time that month, Loki shoves it down and goes back out into the main room, taking a book of Hamlet out of his bag to pass the time before he uncomfortably fell asleep in the chair. Most likely in just an hour or two since it was almost midnight. Every time he knocked unconscious in the overly small hospital chair with no support whatsoever, in front of the bed that Stephen laid in, Loki missed their cuddling more and more. Stephen's arms around him and his nose buried in the back of his neck was always the highlight of Loki's day/night. And it had been weeks since he was actually held. And by god did he need it.

But these thoughts quickly made him feel selfish. The thought that he was whining about not being held or not having his boyfriend confirmed as okay while Stephen had been struck disabled and in a coma sickened him to his core. More and more guilt stacked on top of his chest until he felt like he couldn't breathe, forced to snap his book shut and slam it on the floor. Why did everything have to hurt so much even though he didn't have a scar on him to show as evidence of his pain? It just made him feel so fake.

Loki sunk down into his seat and covered his once again teary eyes with his palms, bouncing his leg against the floor and digging his nails into his bare forehead, letting everything crash over him like a third wave tsunami. Not as extreme as the first, but it just made the present damage worse. Stop it. Stop it. STOP it. STOP IT. Loki was three seconds away from screaming out all the pain in his heart. But then he heard a groan that didn't belong to him echo in the otherwise empty room.

His palms flew to his thighs and he looked up at Stephen.

And his eyes were open!

With a gasp Loki jumped up from his chair and cupped his boyfriend's face, trying not to get too close to shock him, but just needing to hold him and let him see him. "Stephen, you're up!"

"Dewdrop... what happened?"

The student wanted to cry. He could speak. His voice was a bit strained, clearly tired and weary from lack of use, but it was there and that was all that counted. But besides that, the question couldn't be ignored. "You were in a crash baby, right after you left my house. Someone tail-boned you and you skidded off a cliff. Darling... it's Halloween."

"What?!"

Maybe he could have put it better. But Loki didn't really know how to explain it in any other way. "It's okay, darling, it's okay. Please, just focus on me for a second. Could you do that? Not the pain, not the fact that it's three and a half weeks later than you can remember, please look at my eyes and focus on me," he instructed as best he could, gently stroking his cheekbones with his thumbs and praying that he didn't glance down at his hands that he most likely could barely feel. He wanted to break that to him gently.

"I can do that."

"Alright, good. So yes, you were in a car crash and have been in a coma for about 25 days. Most of your scrapes, cuts, and bruises, have thankfully been healed. But your hands... they were crushed on impact.

[sandersstudies]

Quirky - Chapter 7

A High School Superhero AU - Sanders Sides

(Will add tag list in a reblog! If I miss you, please let me know ASAP - As always, asks, comments, messages, reblogs, and keysmashes are more than welcome.)

Attention: This chapter has some mild sensitive content. Warnings in tags!

Chapter Six

Chapter Five

Chapter Four

Chapter Three

Chapter Two

Chapter One

You can now also find the fic with the same username and title on AO3 :) Feel free to stop by and leave kudos!

***

Roman wasn’t used to shrinking down into his shoulders, but found himself doing it as he walked from the school to the street. He took quick glances toward the road, watching for the car his mother had promised to send. Rafaela, Kenny, and Kai passed, with Rafaela swinging into her mom’s car and the boys climbing onto the school bus. If there was anyone Roman didn’t want to see him, it was those three. Oh, and maybe Patton and his mind-hearing quirk.

The white Subaru he’d been waiting for pulled up, and Roman exchanged the family code phrase with the driver before he slid inside and the car pulled away. Private drivers were just one advantage of having ex-hero parents. Roman leaned against the window and caught a glimpse of Virgil and Logan walking in the same direction. Those two had certainly become real buddies, now. He supposed it came with being weak-quirked.

But then again, Roman remembered, maybe Virgil wasn’t weak-quirked. Roman still wasn’t sure what had happened to that beam in the Ruins Zone, but it didn’t seem like the work of somebody like Virgil. What was next, Logan blowing up a building? Roman was tempted to force a laugh when one didn’t rise naturally. He hadn’t been laughing much lately. Virgil’s weird little stunt today hadn’t helped. Roman’s mind had raced through the scene a dozen times unbidden. The feeling of his knuckles slamming against the wall (two of his fingers had scraped and bled). The harsh light overhead, blocked by the heavy shadows of the ruins. The groaning that had become a roar over his head, and the dark shadow over him vanishing as the beam flew away. Turning to see Virgil. “Shut up, lightbulb.” It was interesting. Roman hadn’t seen Virgil bristle quite so much before. For a second, he could actually imagine the pipsqueak passing the entrance exam with that kind of annoying spunk.

Roman felt warm with anger, and squashed the feeling down his throat. He didn’t want to think about it anymore. He began counting street lights, and got to twenty-four before the car pulled into the parking lot of West Izuku Hospital.

“Thanks,” he said as he got out.

“Would you like me to wait for you, Mr. Lightflight?” the driver asked.

“No, that’s okay, thanks. I’ll call in a bit.”

Roman felt himself shrinking again as he walked through the revolving door of the hospital and up to the receptionist’s desk. The secretary was the same woman who’d greeted him yesterday, and she double-checked the room number for him before he thanked her and walked toward the elevators.

When the doors opened, a doctor and nurse got off before Roman got on. As he did so, someone shouted, “hold the elevator!” from somewhere behind him, and he turned to press his hand against the sliding door. A middle-aged woman with a load of balloons skittered inside, the bumbling balloons making dull bonking noises as their bloated bodies bent against the door and one another. Once the woman was inside, the balloons took up most of the elevator, and Roman was struck by the sudden image of the elevator ascending through the hospital ceiling and floating away with the power of helium.

“Thank you, young man,” the woman said. “Could you press floor three, please?”

Roman obliged, also pressing the button for the fifth floor.

“Sorry about the balloons,” the woman said. “My sister just had twins, a boy and a girl, so I just had to pick up balloons for both of them.” The mass of pink and blue seemed self-explanatory to Roman, but he hummed in understanding, and the woman took it as a cue to go on. “My sister just loves balloons. Usually I bring flowers when there’s a new baby, but I thought she’d like this better. Who are you visiting today?” Before Roman could answer, the elevator chimed and the woman clucked. “Oh, this is my stop. Have a nice day!” The balloons squeezed and complained squeakily again as she got off, but finally gave in and popped out of the door to follow her down the hallway of the maternity ward. No one else got on, and Roman rode alone to floor five.

“It’s Roman, isn’t it?” one of the nurses at yet another desk said as he got off the elevator. Roman didn’t like the dripping sympathy in her voice, but he nodded.

“Your dad’s awake now, I’m sure he’ll be very happy to see you.” She smiled with only her lips. “Would you like me to show you the way again?”

“I can find it myself,” Roman said. “Thanks, though.”

“Just let us know if you need anything.”

Roman hummed another response and hurried down the hallway. He counted floor tiles for an excuse to look at his feet, only glancing up to keep track of room numbers. He reached thirty-two tiles, because 519 was at the end of the hall. He knocked on the doorframe before entering.

The Flying Falcon peered up from behind a newspaper. He’d been reduced to his civilian state, wearing a pair of reading glasses and a hospital gown. All his hospital paperwork, of course, had listed him as Joseph Martin.

“Hey, son,” he said, extending one splinted hand toward a seat near his bed. “The nurses told me you came by before school this morning, sorry for sleeping in.”

“Didn’t want to bother you,” Roman said, standing just inside the door. His eyes were drawn to his fathers’ chest, now covered by a hospital gown.

“Come on and sit,” Roman’s father insisted.

Roman sunk into the seat. “How are you feeling?”

“Much better, don’t worry about it.” He waved his un-splinted hand dismissively. “Did Mamá tell you what the doctors said? A sprained wrist, and two fractured ribs that-”

“Punctured the lung,” Roman finished. “I heard.”

“That was some car accident,” he went on, shuffling the pages of his newspaper. “I think I’m very lucky.”

“Right,” Roman said.

***

Rafaela, Kenny, and Kai had completely vanished by the time Roman raced down the alley after them, police sirens still ringing in his ears. He didn’t remember much of his sprint home, only arriving at the front door and fumbling for his key to let himself in. He opened the door and drew it closed silently behind him. His chest was heaving, and he felt like someone had wrapped their first around his esophagus. He started for the stairs when he realized there was a light shining from under his parents’ bedroom door. There was a hushed voice speaking upstairs.

Roman swallowed. Maybe if he was quiet, he could sneak up the stairs and into his room before his mother even realized he’d been gone. He took two steps upward in silence, and took the third with more confidence, only to have it squeal under his weight. He froze.

“One minute, please,” he heard. There was a shuffle before the door of his parents’ room swung open and his mother’s face peered out.

“Eres tu, mi principito?” she asked. She rubbed one eye. Both were red, but there were no tears on her cheeks. “What are you doing up so late, sweetheart?”

“Sorry for waking you up, Mamá,” he muttered. His mouth was dry. “I was just getting some water.”

“You’re sweating,” his mother said, setting down her phone and walking down the stairs. “Do you feel sick?” She pressed her palm against his forehead.

“I feel fine.”

She gently cupped his face. “Hey, honey, I have something to tell you, okay?”

Roman couldn’t make eye contact, so he stared past her ear. “What?”

“Your father was in an accident on his drive back from the university,” she said. “He’s gonna be okay, but I’m going to go to the emergency room to see him.”

“I’m coming too.”

“Oh, honey, you know I want you to, but if you’re not feeling well-” She touched his forehead again.

“I’m okay.”

She paused for a moment and blinked softly at him. “Okay. Take my keys and start the car. I’m going to wrap up this phone call and be right out.”

“Is Dad on the phone?”

“It’s our old agent from hero work,” she said, starting up the stairs. “Lola, you remember her?”

“Calling about a car accident?” Roman said, sudden anger rising in him.Was this agent lying to his mother, or was his mother lying to him?

“They...monitor these things, honey,” the one-time Lady Lightbringer said without turning around. “It’ll be okay, I’ll be right out.”

***

“Mamá told me that Lola Brown called,” Roman said.

“That’s right,” his father said, staring down at the newspaper. “Very nice of her. You see this here?” He held up the paper. There was a photo of Multi-Man, an old one from the height of his hero career, and a headline about his arrest.

“Yeah, everybody at school is talking about it,” Roman said.

Joseph nodded and sucked his lip. “He was a really good man,” he said. “Interned at my agency when he wasn’t much older than you. Very bright kid, really dedicated to hero work. Can’t imagine what happened.”

“What did happen?” Roman asked, feeling anger in his stomach again. “What did he do?”

His father chuckled. “It’s all hearsay, of course,” he said. “Some kind of attack outside city hall. If I hadn’t been in that car accident maybe I’d have trotted up there myself!” He laughed, and his hand flew to his side. “Ah, this is just another sign it’s time for me to leave hero work in the past. I’m getting to be too old.”

“You’re not old, Dad,” Roman said, trying to sound cheerful.

“Not too old yet,” Joseph admitted. “Still too young to like being cooped up in here. They say it’ll be another couple days before this thing can come out.” He prodded the tube that was snaking out of the sleeve of his hospital gown.

“I’m sorry,” Roman said. “Did Mamá visit today?”

“She dropped by and brought lunch,” he responded. “I’m not much of a fan of hospital food.”

“She didn’t really tell me much about the accident,” Roman said cautiously. “What happened?”

Joseph paused and rustled the pages of his newspaper. “Gee, I...well you know what, I barely remember it. One of those funny things that happens, I suppose.” He tapped his forehead. “Doctors say I was lucky to have no concussion. But tell me about school, Ro,” he said, swerving from the topic. “I missed your first week, how’s it been?”

“Well, you heard about Mr. Sanders,” Roman said. Joseph smiled sympathetically. Roman went on. “A bunch of the students were really upset, and all.”

“Does ‘a bunch of students’ include one named Roman Lightflight?”

Roman shrugged. “Trying to focus on studying, I guess.”

Joseph grinned. “Just like your mom,” he said. “My very first semester at UA, I remember she was top of the class. Everybody, even the teachers, started saying, ‘that Ximena Alcérreca, she’s the one to beat!’ I miss the old place, every once in a while.”

Roman faked a smile of pride at the comparison to his mother, but wilted internally, knowing that the praise was given unfairly. He couldn’t remember a single thing Mr. Picani had said in literature all week. Had he even had a pencil out for biology?

“Do they still set you right to work with training?” his father asked.

“We did a bomb exercise,” Roman said. “Heroes against villains. I was a hero.”

“Well, that wasn’t just for the exercise,” Joseph said. “Did you win?”

“...Yeah.”

“That’s good! That’s great! I’m sure your classmates were blown away!” His eyes had lit up (less literally than Roman’s often did), and Roman wondered if his father was remembering his own time at UA. “Mamá said your class had a field trip to USJ today, how was that?”

Roman saw Virgil, cheeks flushed with anger and purple hair bristling and hazel eyes flashing, illuminated a moment in his head. He shifted to hide his scratched hand behind him. “It was okay.”

“Your class had fun?”

Roman swallowed. “Yeah, well, it’s nice having some kids from middle school there.”

“I’d hope so,” Joseph said. “It’s the best prep school in the area. Rafaela and Kai and….Kenny, isn’t it?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Going to ditch your old man today to hang out with your pals, then?”

“No,” Roman said, a little too sharply. Joseph paused.

“Been a falling out?” he asked.

Roman shrugged.

“It happens,” Joseph insisted, shifting his weight in the hospital bed so he could reach Roman’s shoulder. “When a group of people move to a new stage in life, like high school, sometimes they start to go their separate ways,” he said. “It’s not a bad thing. Sometimes it makes you realize who your real friends are.”

Roman stifled the pain in the center of his chest. “It’s just tough,” he said. He straightened his shoulders. “But I’m gonna do it, Dad. I’m going to graduate and be a hero and everything.”

“Well, don’t underestimate the power of having friends by your side,” his father responded. “Being a hero doesn’t always mean going it alone.” One of his hands wandered vaguely to his chest and rested over where his broken ribs were. He seemed to suddenly come to himself and spoke again. “Any new friends, then?”

“Not really,” Roman admitted. “Well, there’s this one kid…”

His father didn’t fill the gap.

“There’s this other kid who got in on recommendation,” Roman said. “Patton something.”

“Nice kid?”

“I guess so.”

“Powerful quirk, I’ll bet.”

There was a pause. “I think I’m gonna get going, Dad,” Roman said, standing up and shouldering his backpack. “I want to get home and...study.”

Joseph looked taken aback only a moment, and then nodded vigorously. “Exactly what I like to hear,” he said. “Well, give your old man a hug and I’ll let you head out. Probably gets pretty stuffy sitting too long in a hospital, huh?”

Roman reached in for a hug, awkward from his father’s angle. “I’m really glad you’re doing okay.”

“Well, no car accident is going to knock down the Flying Falcon, is it?” Joseph Martin asked triumphantly. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“See you tomorrow.”

Roman made a point not to make eye contact with the nurses as he shuffled into the elevator. As he descended, he made a brief call to his driver. The elevator picked up two men from the fourth floor and then sunk to the first. Roman’s phone buzzed cheerily with a text message as he stepped off.

Rafaela. Hey dude I know stuff is weird but whatevers going on w your dad i hope everythings ok

He swiped to dismiss the text and started to put his phone in his pocket. It buzzed again and Roman felt a crinkle of anger in his cheeks before he saw the word “Mamá” on the screen.

Know you’re probably still at the hospital, have to head out for a little while and might be hard to get a hold of. Contact Lola if there’s an emergency. Pizza in the freezer for you. <3

<3 U, Roman replied. His ride arrived quickly, and Roman drummed his fingers against the side of the car as he climbed in.

“Back home, Mr. Lightflight?” the driver said, already turning in that direction.

“Take me to city hall, first.”

***

Roman had watched his mother’s face from the first moment they entered the emergency room (which was calmer than he’d expected). The one-time top hero was not one to show her vulnerability. But Roman had felt her grip a little too light on his arm, had heard her voice a little too high, had seen her leg bounce with anxious waiting. They had entered the place where the Flying Falcon was flightless on the gurney, chest half-exposed to reveal bruises and a small tube protruding from his chest. It was only for a moment when, as she held her husband’s hand, Roman had seen the fire of Lady Lightbringer in the tears suspended in her amber eyes but not falling. When she had stood to touch Roman’s shoulder, she was strengthened instead of wavering, and for a moment Roman had been afraid of his own mother.

[waywardnewcomer]

Built-in Best Friends Part One

A/N: I’M BACK! I thought I’d start my return off with some fresh meat! This is going to be an ongoing series, so I hope you enjoy. Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list.

Summary: Y/N has first day jitters, but as always Tom is on hand to calm her down.

Warnings: Anxiety, Panic Attack, Fluff

Pairings: Reader x Thomas Padalecki, Jensen x Daughter!Reader, Danneel x Daughter!Reader

Word Count: 1.3K

Series Masterpost

Since Y/N could remember, the one person by her side was Thomas Colton Padalecki. She was born 5 days after him, and with the closeness of their families, he came as a built-in best friend. He was there when she started school and when he began to play football she was at all his games. When Y/N was getting bullied Tom was there to fight them off. Tom’s first date, Y/N helped him get ready and impress the girl. Tom sat with Y/N through her first period, her first heartbreak and the days where she just didn’t want to get out of bed. In return, Y/N cheered him on at every football game, got him through his first heartbreak and helped keep him out of fights. They were each other’s rock since day one and it seemed like nothing would break them up.

“So, your kids are going into senior year, does that make you feel old?” The interviewer asked Jared and Jensen, laughing when they put on a shocked face.

“To be honest, very. It seems like yesterday I was holding Y/N in my arms, now she’s 17 going into senior year and I have 4 kids,” Jensen laughed running a hand down his face. His eyes sparkling remembering the day you were born.

“And to think Supernatural has lasted that long.” Jared laughed, clapping Jensen on the back. “Them two are amazing, they’ve always got each other’s backs and are a great help with our wives at home.” Jared smiled sincerely, looking over at the two of you stood giggling about something on your phone, Tom’s arm lazily wrapped around your shoulder.

“Any romance on the cards?” The interviewer laughed, looking over at the two of you with a smile.

“I don’t know. In one sense that’s my baby girl, and no one is touching my baby girl. But on the other hand, Tom is a gentleman. I’d be lucky to have a guy treat her as well as he does.” Jensen smiled and patted Jared on the back. “You raised him well.”

“Thanks, bud, you too,” He smiled, zoning out for the next few minutes looking at the two of you. He had a mission, and he was sure Gen and Danneel would be all for it.

After a long day of watching your Dad do interviews all you wanted to do was sleep, but your mind wouldn’t let you. You suffered from anxiety and thinking about starting senior year tomorrow was putting your mind into a tailspin. What if you fail? Don’t get into any colleges? What if your friends don’t want you anymore? What if you're late? What if you fall? Get laughed at? The thoughts began invading your head as you felt your breath getting quicker and shallower. You were going to have a panic attack.

You quickly knocked on the wall behind your bed, put the window on the latch and slid down the wall. You put your head between your legs and tried to focus on your breathing as your tears rolled down your hot cheeks.

Almost instantly Tom had climbed through the window and was sat by your side, whispering in your head and rocking you back and forth. He grabbed your hand and put it on his chest reminding you to breathe with him. He had sadly become an expert at this, knowing the routine off by heart.

“Did you remember to take your meds today?” Tom asked quietly once you’d began to breathe normally and collapsed in his chest.

“I set up a reminder like you told me,” You whispered, wiping away your tears and sniffling.

“Okay, so we write this down and take it back to your Doctor. It’s been too many with your medications now. Don’t worry, I’ll be with you every step of the way and we’ll get it sorted.” He whispered, kissing your hair and rubbing your arm.

You stayed there for a while listening to his heartbeat wondering how you got so lucky to have a best friend like him.

“Tomorrow, I’ll be right outside waiting for you. We walk in together, get our schedules and I’ll walk you to your first class. It’s gonna be alright, we’ve done this plenty of times before. We’re experts now.” He laughed, as he counted the things off on your fingers.

“But what if I make you late to class?” You asked timidly, not liking when you get him into trouble.

“Then I’ll say I had an appointment, my Mom will back it up,” He explained softly, always knowing the right thing to calm you down.

“Okay,”

“You feeling better?” He asked, looking down at you.

“Lots, thank you,”

“Always,”

Your door creaked open and your Mom took one look before her expression turned to a worried one.

“Another one?” She asked softly, frowning as she cautiously made her way over to you. You sometimes liked to be left alone during a panic attack, the only exception being Tom.

“Yeah, Tom sorted me out,” You mumbled. “Like always. I’m so sorry you have to deal with this. You got stuck with me.”

“I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to be, trust me.” He smiled, squeezing your arm before jumping up.

“Right Aunt Danneel, I’ll leave her in your capable arms. I’ll be by at 7:30 tomorrow to pick you up, and you better be ready.” He laughed, knowing how much time you take in the morning to actually wake up.

“Thanks, Tom. I really appreciate it.” You smiled, giving him a hug and watching him crawl back through the window to his room.

“That boy can never use the front door,” Danneel sighed, laughing softly. “You okay sweetie?”

“Just first day jitters, Tom sorted me out.” You smiled leaning into her chest.

“I’m glad you have him in your life.” She smiled at you kissing your head and leading you over to your bed. “Now you, young lady need sleep, do you need me to stay tonight?”

You looked at her temptingly and timidly nodded. 17 and needing your Mom to sleep in the same bed as you, anxiety sucks. She nodded and went out the room to change into her pj's. You got into bed and snuggled under your covers. She laid beside you and wrapped an arm around your waist.

“I’m 17 and need my Mom, I’m so pathetic.” You whispered, laughing sadly.

“Honey, you’ll never stop needing your Mom. I like coming and sleeping in here sometimes I miss my cuddles off my big girl.” She grinned, kissing your nose like she did when you were little.

“So that’s where my wife is.” Jensen chuckled from the doorway.

“Sorry Dad,” You mumbled, embarrassed.

“Hey, if you need your Mom I get it. But if you ever need me to sleep in here, say the word and I’ll come running.” He smiled, sitting next to you and stroking your back.

“Thanks, Dad,” You smiled, relaxing at his hand on your back.

The motion made you quickly fall asleep, it was something your Dad learned early on in your diagnosis. He did it when you couldn’t sleep as a child and it helped to relax you. He hated seeing his baby in so much pain, so any time he could relieve it he took the opportunity.

“Is she okay?” He asked once he was sure you were asleep.

“First day nerves, Tom came and calmed her down.” Danneel smiled at her husband, sparkle in her eye.

“He’d give the world for her, how’d we get so lucky?” Jensen chuckled kissing her softly.

“Thank Gen and Jared for that one. I just wish they’d figure out their feelings already. It’s killing me here!” Danneel laughed.

“They will, once they’re ready.” Jensen smiled over at his oldest child sleeping, knowing she’d be okay with her best friend by her side. “Night.”

“Night,” Danneel whispered, moving closer to you and staring at your sleeping face. “Figure it out baby girl, he loves you.” She smiled, knowing you were gonna be okay.

Next Part

Series Tags - Let me know if you wanna be added :)

Forever Tags: (people who have asked, let me know if you want adding) @creativedogs  @a-magey @natashacamillaus  @not-jk-rowling  @captainsherlockwinchester110283  @sleepylunarwolf @claitynroberts @theshortegg @unicornblood4ever @casiskween @robfangirl @fanficwithasideofcanon @jaremish @mlovesstories @lauren-novak  @hi-my-name-is-riley @spn-tw-37 @supernatural-teamfreewillpage

[tcm--holland]

threat // peter parker

request from @fragilefrances: Reader keeps getting threats and she keeps it to herself and when she disappears, Peter finds the threats and tries to find her before its too late

word count: 3.3k

a/n: hey guys! this my first time writing a request, so i hope you guys enjoy! i realize i didn’t do exactly what the request said, but i hope it’s still ok (sorry!!). unedited! this will get a part 2 soon! and starting next monday, i begin high school! it should be okay for the first few weeks, but i might get a lil busy so i hope y'all understand! i’ll still write as much as possible <3 and hope you guys enjoy this! warning for threatening and kidnapping themes. <3333

masterlist

___________________________

“So I thought about telling her that, y’know, I was kind of in an awkward situation there. But how are you supposed to do that with all these people around?”

“Mhm.”

“And then she had this idea, right, and I was like, ‘What are you doing?’ and she was getting this empty bottle and she said she wanted to play Spin the Bottle!”

“Uh huh.”

“She knows that I have strict boundaries with that stuff, and she still…” You trail off into silence for a few seconds. “Okay, Pete, I know you don’t care, but give me something to work with here.” You wait for a response, and then check to see if Peter is still on the other end of the line. “Hello?”

“Wait, what did you say?” You sigh audibly at this. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I was…zoned out.”

“It’s okay.” There’s a short pause.

“So what were you telling me?”

“Uh, it’s nothing important. Speaking of which, I’m getting a little tired. I’d better get going.”

“It’s not even eight, how are you tired already?” He sounds confused.

“I stayed up last night. I’ll see you.”

“Uh, okay then. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

You hang up the phone call, feeling discomfort poke at you. Peter’s as close to a best friend you’ll ever have. You know him like the back of your hand. But recently he’s been a little weird around you. He’s always off in his own little world, thinking about something else. It was okay the first few times, but now you hardly have conversations with him anymore. You’re just worried if he’s okay sometimes.

Is this just a thing that happens when people grow apart? You gaze out of your tiny window into the not-so-tiny world. The sun is drowning in the horizon, the fiery orange and red tones fading away into pink, and then into periwinkle blue. The city is noisy, but in this transition between day and night, everything looks beautiful.

You think about talking to Peter. But where would you even begin? How do people have supportive conversations? You’re not very good at being helpful in this kind of situation. You move away from your window and flop onto your bed. You dig around your sheets for a minute before finding your phone. You Google ‘Why is my best friend being distant?’ and scroll through a few pages. If anything, this just depresses you more, so you decide to stop.

You’re about to close your phone when it dings with a text. Is it Peter with another half-assed apology? It seems you’ve been spared from that tonight. You scroll through your conversations, but you don’t see any new texts. You frown when you see an old text. Whoops, you forgot to text a classmate back about a quiz. The quiz that happened today. Yikes.

Well, you’re sure it’s okay. You set your phone aside to do homework. But as soon as you lift your pencil, your phone starts ringing. Without looking at who it is, you pick up, voice firm. “Peter, I’m sleeping. Bye.”

You pause, and then look at who’s really calling you. Whoever it was turned off their caller ID. Uh…weird. Is this a prank call? “Um…hello?” You say cautiously.

The silence hangs for what feels like an eternity. Unsettled, you hang up. You have a notification for a text. You open it.

Unknown: There’s a package waiting for you on your doorstep. Get it within fifteen minutes.

You frown. Is this one of your friends trying to play some sick practical joke on you? “Yeah? Or what?” You mutter to yourself, scoffing.

Unknown: [image attached] Or else something might just happen to him.

Your eyes widen when you look at the picture. It’s Peter, sitting in his bedroom. But…he’s, like, attached to the ceiling. He’s hanging upside down and reading a book. No, this must be digitally edited or something. That’s when you see two things. The digital clock, which reads the time right now: 8:37 PM. And a very familiar looking suit on the floor. The Spider-Man suit. You’ve never been more confused.

You feel a tight knot in your chest. How does this person know who Peter is? How do they know you? Who are they? How do they know that you know Peter? They’re not going to hurt him, are they? Why does Peter have that suit? Christ, is he the Spider-Man that you saw in a YouTube video a few days ago?

You look at your clock. Nearly five minutes have passed already. You don’t want to find out what they’ll do to Peter if you don’t comply, so you quickly stand up and fumble to unlock your door. You race downstairs and past a pair of worried looking mothers.

“Honey, is everything -” You cut one of them off as you step out of the apartment. Sure enough, there’s a small box sitting there. You scoop it up and dash back upstairs with it. You swallow, breathing heavily as you grab your phone. Another message pops up.

Unknown: Good girl. Give it to the hooded boy waiting in the alley by your building at 7:50 AM tomorrow. Don’t talk to him.

You try keep yourself together and think. Do you dare send a message?

You: who are you and how do you know me?

You: how do you know him?

No response. You didn’t really expect one, anyway.

You: you can do anything you want with me. just don’t touch him. please.

You don’t expect a response to that, either, but then, a message pops up.

Unknown: Follow your instructions without hesitation and he will go unharmed.

You set your phone down as you try to process everything. The first thing you do is cry, sobbing uncontrollably while you clutch a pillow to your chest. What do you even do? You want to call Peter, but you’re scared of what might happen. Whoever this is knows how dear he is to your heart. What do they know and what don’t they know? Is anything even private anymore?

You think about every memory you shared with Peter. That one time you ruined his new jeans by throwing a cupcake at him. Or when you sat on the floor and debated over Star Wars fan theories for a whole day. Or the countless nights you stayed up with him on Skype, talking endlessly. Or just a few months ago, when he kissed you and he thought you didn’t feel that way about him even though you did.

He’s not just the friend that went through thick and thin with you. You love him, goddammit. And now you don’t know what to do because you can’t imagine being in a world without him. You can’t even imagine him ever being hurt. At any other point in your life, the possibility that he might be Spider-Man would freak you out more than anything. But right now, you don’t care about any of it. You’re pretty sure that even Spider-Man can’t dodge a bullet when he least expects it.

You try to make yourself feel better about it all. So what, you move around a few packages and then they leave you alone. And then you can carry on with your life and have everything be okay. No biggie.

Still, a dark feeling disturbs you.

Having completely forgotten about your homework, you lay on your bed to sleep. You’re too frightened to sleep with the lights off, so you leave them on as you drift into an uncomfortable slumber. You toss and turn all night, racked with paranoia and fear. You hardly get any sleep. For the longest time, you stare at the ceiling. You just want Peter to be safe. You just want to protect him. The idea of protecting Spider-Man feels silly, but the picture ‘Unknown’ sent you lingers in your head. He’s still a kid, like you. He still has vulnerabilities.

You jolt when your alarm clock goes off, scaring you. You quickly switch it off. 6:30 AM. If you have to give the package to someone at 7:50, you’re going to be late for school. You guess one day won’t be too bad. You scrape your hair out of your face and put on your jeans and t-shirt from yesterday. The t-shirt says “May the force be with you” but the word “force” is replaced with the formula for force. It was a Christmas present from Peter.

At 7:30, you head outside to wait with the package in hand. It’s chillier than you expected, but you manage to stand there for twenty minutes. Goosebumps lines your exposed arms as you look around for the recipient. You realize that you didn’t even stop to think about what was in the box. You were so busy worrying about Peter that you forgot about it. What if you’re carrying meth or crack cocaine or something? What if you’re helping some illegal activity happen?

Just as you start freaking out over it, a hooded figure enters the alley. You’ve never seen the guy before, but he looks young. He can’t be older than seventeen. He stares at you expectantly. You open your mouth to say something but quickly shut it when you remember that you’re not supposed to say anything. You quickly hand over the box. To your surprise, he starts opening it. You watch, lips parted.

You expect him to take out something suspicious-looking, but instead he reveals a knife wrapped in cloth. He unwinds the cloth, and before you can even scream, the boy pins you to the wall. One gloved hand presses tightly over your mouth as you try and yell out. He presses the knife to your throat and you reflexively tilt your head back to try and create some space between your neck and the knife.

Oh god, this is it. This is the end. You think about how you should’ve been a little nicer to your moms, and how you should’ve apologized to a few people. You should’ve told Peter you loved him. And maybe kissed him again. His image flashes in your head. His warm, dark eyes that crinkle when he smiles at you. His soft lips against yours, hungry for something you’ve both wanted for an eternity. The way his dark brown hair flops onto his forehead and escapes the gel when he’s leaning over to work on a project. The look on his face right before he’s about to make a dumb joke that you’ll laugh at anyway. It’s all too sweet to let go of so quickly, but if it means saving him, you’ll do it without hesitation.

And then, as though the guy was having second thoughts, he steps back. He almost looks apologetic, but it might just be the lighting. Your heart’s still pounding out of fear as you fumble for your phone. What the hell?

Unknown: Wait until further instruction.

You look back up to yell at the boy, but he’s vanished. You glance into the darkening alley, and then out towards the street. Great, you don’t want your life threatened again anyway. You check the time. It’s nearly 8:10, and you’re already missing first period. You race out to go to school.

In second period English, Peter side eyes you the whole time, like he normally does. You normally do the same, but you can’t seem to bring yourself to look at him today. Your phone is on your lap in case you get a text.

Is he really Spider-Man? You tune out the entire class, until the teacher walks up to you. “Y/N, are you alright?” You jolt slightly in surprise when you see her.

“Uh, yeah, I’m fine,” you say quickly, tripping over your words.

“You didn’t seem to hear me for the past five minutes. Where’s your homework?” You’re acutely aware that the whole class is staring at you, including Peter. Your cheeks redden in embarrassment when you realize you didn’t do it last night. What are you supposed to say?

“U-Uh, I left it at, um, home.” Your voice is quiet as you look down, your face burning up. Everyone’s going to think you’re stupid and you don’t take school seriously. They’re going to think that instead of doing my homework last night, you were at Flash’s party getting drunk, and that’s why you’re being weird now. Ha. As if you’d even get invited.

You spend the rest of class being extremely embarrassed as you try and participate more. At the end of class, Peter walks up to you. Dejected, you try and walk past him, but he blocks your path.  You step around him, but he’s too quick. He grabs you by the arms this time, but then lets go when you show obvious discomfort. You walk out of the classroom, Peter right beside you. “What’s up with you?” He asks.

“Nothing,” you murmur, slightly annoyed.

“Oh, so you mean nothing as in totally ignoring me, having bags under your eyes, and not doing your homework for once in a blue moon. You look like you saw a ghost, you’re scared out of your damn mind. So don’t give me this bullshit about nothing being wrong, Y/N.” Is he mad at you? Suddenly, it seems silly to think he was the same person you fell in love with months ago. He seems completely different. The Peter you know wouldn’t get mad at you. His expression softens when he sees yours. “I’m sorry.”

“No, you know what, Parker, what’s wrong with you?”

By now, the halls are nearly clear except for those skipping. “What are you talking about?” Peter asks, confused. He looks kind of upset, because he knows you’re serious when you call him by his last name.

“You know what I’m talking about. You hardly talk to me, and you’re never paying attention when you do. If you don’t fricking like being around me, then tell me and I’ll leave you the hell alone! I thought we were best friends, and I thought that meant you could tell me anything. But whenever I ask, you say it’s nothing and I’ve been trying so hard to believe it. Because I trust you to tell me the truth when you think it’s time. But then the moment I start acting weird too, you just have to push it. Maybe I have my own secrets too. Did you ever think about that too? Maybe I put on a suit and I leap around kicking ass, too.” You spread your arms out, the angry look on your face quickly breaking apart. Peter’s eyes are wide as he stares, in complete shock. You can’t bring yourself to say anything else. You wipe the tears that start spilling from your eyes.

Peter tries to pull you into a hug, but you shove him away as hard as you can. Spider-Man can take a push, can’t he? But he winces anyway, simply watching as you walk away. You check your phone, and your heart pangs in your chest at the message.

Unknown: Don’t speak to him again.

You’ve never felt more alone, but at the same time, you can never truly be alone. You can’t even talk to Peter anymore, isolating you from the one person that matters most to you. But now you’re sure they’re watching you somehow. They’re watching your every footstep, they’re listening to your every word.

You instantly feel bad for yelling at Peter, as you always do whenever you get upset at him. You just can’t control your emotions around him anymore. For some reason, this all makes you want to protect him more.

God, you hate everything. You hate Peter for what he does but love him for who he is, which is a confusing thing all on its own. And he’s Spider-Man. And you’re doing scary ass things under the promise of his safety.

Your fingers brush against your throat. There isn’t a cut there or anything. Huh, maybe the knife just wasn’t that sharp.

Your phone pings with instructions to retrieve a box. For the next few hours, you’re forced to skip school as you obediently follow seemingly random orders. Thankfully, you don’t get any more knives shoved to your throat again. You just move things around, and you don’t even have to deliver things to anyone.

Over the course of the day, you start to calm down a little. It’s only now that you begin to question the person’s motive of threatening you with Peter. Do they want something from you? Or something from Peter? Peter is more likely, with him being Spider-Man and all. But all Spider-Man does is stop robbers and help old ladies out. He just doesn’t seem like a person worth targeting for the reason that he might be a threat to criminals.

You’ve had missed calls from him all day. He must be wondering where you went, but every time you even get the urge to call back, you remember the harsh warning you were given to not talk to him. He sent you tons of texts, too.

Peter: where are you???

Peter: y/n please!! i’m worried about you, just tell me you’re safe and i’ll stop.

Peter: i know you’re mad and you don’t care, but i really care. just tell me if you’re home or something. i won’t come visit you if you don’t want me to. i just need to know if you’re in a safe place. that’s it.

Messages like this continue on until a few scrolls. Finally, they come to a stop and then Ned texts you.

Ned: Hey Y/N Peter looks like he’s going to have a panic attack

Ned: It’s really bad and he won’t listen to me

Ned: Just tell him you’re okay so he’ll stop freaking out

Ned: Dude you realize he’ll put on his suit and try and find you if you don’t respond soon right

You take a deep breath and look away, pained inside. You don’t want to think about Peter getting anxiety over you. At least he’s alive. And when all of this is over, you can tell him everything and he’ll understand. Because he’d do the same for you. That’s just the kind of people you and Peter are. Your thoughts are cut off when you see you got a message from ‘Unknown’.

Unknown: Go back to the alleyway by your apartment and wait.

Unknown: This is the last message you will receive.

Something about this feels weird to you. Wait for what? This is a vague message, which is unusual considered the pattern of very specific messages. Nonetheless, you begin making your way home. Your phone keeps buzzing with messages, probably from Ned. You keep yourself going with only one thought in mind. It’s almost over. Just one more thing to do, and then it’s all over. You just hope Peter will be okay.

You finally get to the alleyway as the sun moves downward. It won’t be sunset for a few hours, unfortunately, but it’s not like you would be able to see it from down here anyway. You’re nervous, and there’s a very odd feeling in your gut. It’s giving you a very clear message. RUN. You ignore it, looking over your shoulder to see if anyone’s coming. No one.

You wait there for a while, realizing how exhausted you are from running around the city all day. You probably have so much homework to catch up on, and you owe an explanation for not showing up to most of your classes. Your phone buzzes again, and you finally look at it.

Mom: Honey, why did your mother and I get an email saying that you didn’t go to any of your classes other than English today?

Mom: You know that you can talk to us about anything. You can tell us the truth.

Shit. You are so screwed when you go home. You quickly start thinking of excuses, because you obviously can’t tell them the truth in this situation. As you worry over this, you don’t notice that someone is behind you.

Suddenly, you feel metal clang against your skull, and you’re gone. You drop the ground instantaneously, unconscious.

__________________________

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[fucking-hell-skarsgard]

Paradise - Chapter One

A.N. - There is some swearing and medical issues in this chapter. In later chapters there will be smut (Or at least my attempt of it). The main character has a chronic illness, she also was in a motorbike accident. I’m telling you that there might be some emotional triggering parts in the future. (I will warn you before hand if there is). This is your warning. I hope to update every Friday. Any comments are welcome, thank you and enjoy!

September 23rd, 2016 - Toronto Pearson International Airport, Toronto, Canada.

Eva P.O.V.

~~~~~~~~~~

One of the joys of having a disability was getting to board the plane first. Some lovely person pushes you in a wheelchair all the way through the airport, onto the plane and stops by your seat. The air hostess helps pack your personal belongs away, so all you need to do is sit back and relax. Two downsides though, to board early you must get there ahead of the normal boarding time. Also when you travel with a service dog and have bad legs, it’s just easier to upgrade to first class. You and the dog get more room, it just costs you a little more. The only thing I had to worry about now was if anyone sat next to me, I was hoping to get some sleep within the next 7 hours. The flight left Toronto at 4:30 am, it would be sometime around 10 am when we land in London (Yeah I know time zones are shitty). I was hoping the sleep on the plane would be enough to help me stay awake for the rest of the day.

The hostess for this flight was Stacey, who I had flown with many times told me we’d be taking off in ten minutes. No one had sat next to me so far, so I was hoping that I’d have a free seat for the whole flight. I heard Stacey speak to someone, I also heard the number for the seat next to me. There went my dreams of being alone for this flight. I tried to read my book paying no attention to whoever was going to sit next to me. I felt my service dog Ragnar lift his head off my feet. Which was weird as he never normal reacted to strangers.

When I peeped up from my book to see who I was sitting next too, I couldn’t see his face. He was trying to get his carry on in the overhead storage. No matter if your luggage was the correct size, it never fit in the storage properly. With his hands above his head, his black t-shirt had risen slightly showing a sliver of pale skin and a light treasure trail down into his jeans. He was extremely tall. Coming from a 5 foot 10 women, let me tell you, only a select few men have the gift of towering over me.

With one final shove, he managed to get his bag in and quickly shut the hatch. I went back to my book not to make it obvious I was staring. I could see him moving around out of the corner of my eye, once he put his seatbelt on her must have looked at who he was sat next too.

“Oh, fucking hell.” he quietly exclaimed.

I looked up unsure of what was happening. I came face to face with Bill Skarsgård.

He huffed and slumped back in his seat. “This is perfect. Seven hours sitting next to you.”

I smiled at him, “So charming as always Sweetheart. What’s this all the Swedes home on the soonest flight out?

Ragnar recognised the man next to me, he sat up and started to wag his tail. He kept looking between the two of us, knowing that he couldn’t say hello unless I told him he could.

He smiled back at me and winked. “It’s a little early for your sarcasm darling. There’s a couple of months break before promo starts, so I thought I’d hide for a while. You?”

I patted Ragnar on the head and he stepped over my legs and rested his head on Bill’s knee. Bill ruffled him behind the ears, both happy to see each other even though they had spent time together yesterday.

I placed my bookmark back in my book. “Yeah, I missed my baby sisters 1st birthday. I’m stopping in London for a couple of days, so I’ll get her something there.”

“Yeah, that sucks big time. The first one is always special.”

For a moment I had forgotten that Bill had four younger siblings, the younger two were only Seven and Four.

“I’m stopping in London too for a couple of days. You know of anything good to do?”

I nodded, “Yeah there’s loads, just depends on what you like. Shopping, museums, other tourist stuff. You booked somewhere to stay?”

Bill shook his head, “I was just going to see where the wind took me.”

I sighed, “London’s not like Stockholm, even in term time it’s still busy. Most hotels will be fully booked.”

He tipped his head back, “Shit.”

I patted his leg, “Don’t worry I’ve got a spare room.”

He turned his head towards me, “You have a place in london?”

Before I could answer Stacey came round checking all the seat belts. Ragnar knowing the routine settled himself back down under my legs. I clipped his seatbelt to the back of his harness. It wasn’t really a seat belt but a lead that was looped around the leg of the chair in front. To stop him rolling if something bag happened.

“Yeah, my dad bought the apartment in Westminster when he was teaching in London. Then I used it during university. Now we use it whenever we visit and rent it out short term for people who don’t want to stay in a hotel. Don’t worry I made sure it’s empty.”

“That’s cool, thanks.”

The plane started to move to the runway. I was fine with flying, just not take off, landing and turbulence. I offered bill a candy apple sweet to suck on before placing one in my mouth. I clenched onto the armrest as the plane picked up speed. Ragnar placed his head on my feet, knowing I needed reassuring but he knew he couldn’t move during takeoff as he was anchored to the floor.

Bill looked at me, “You okay?”

“Uhh… I’m not so good with takeoff and landings.”

He smirked, “The big bad wolf is scared of planes.”

I glared at him, “Not funny.”

“Sorry.” He took my arm off the armrest, tucking the armrest up in between our seats. He threaded his fingers through mine. He placed our conjoined hands by our legs, to hide from view.

I could feel the plane start to shake more rapidly. I concentrated on keeping my breathing steady and even. Bill was rubbing circles on the back of my hand with his thumb. The plane tilted back and in a matter of minutes, we were in the air. Bill held onto my hand until I had calmed down.

“Thank you. It really helped.”

He smiled at me, “No problem.”

The seatbelt sign turned off and Bill let go of me and got his headphones out of his backpack. Ragnar knowing he could move tried to sit up. I leaned forward and unclipped him. He got up and placed his front legs on my lap. I rested my head on his stroking his silky fur. I began to feel unwell. A little shaky and dizzy, a regular feeling for me.

“You ready for 7 hours of mind-crushing shit tv?”

I snorted, patted Ragnar on the head who laid back down. “I plan on sleeping, waking for breakfast then try to get some work done.”

“You’re always so organised.”

“Ha! Organised! You’re looking at a woman that has now been awake for…” I checked my watch, “about 26 hours.”

“Shit. Why?”

“We had an early start yesterday and then I had work to do in the evening. Come 10 o’clock I couldn’t switch my brain off. Then at 1 I had to head off to the airport.”

“Hardcore. Get some sleep, I’ll look after you and Ragnar.”

I leaned the chair back and pulled on my eye cover. “Thanks, Bill.”

~~~~~~~~~~

When I woke later I couldn’t work out why it was pitch black and why my pillow was breathing. I reached up to my face feeling an eye cover, that explains the darkness. I pulled it off my eyes. The breathing pillow actually turned out to be Bill. I sat up quickly embarrassed I had slept on his shoulder.

He pulled his headphones off. “Ah, sleeping beauty has awoken.”

“Sorry I didn’t mean to use you as a pillow.”

“Don’t worry it’s fine. You needed the sleep.”

“How long was I out for?”

He checked his phone. “A little over three hours. The breakfast order went round a couple minutes ago. The stewardess said she knew what you liked.”

I sat up and stretched. “Perfect thanks, yeah I’ve flown with her many times. Could I leave Ragnar with you will I visit the bathroom?”

“Yeah sure.” Bill tucked his legs in.

I picked up my carryon and shuffled out, Ragnar stood to follow me. “Ragnar stay with Bill.”

He shuffled closer to Bill and sat down. I wandered down the corridor. In the bathroom I used my potions in my wash bag to freshen myself up, hoping that it would make me feel better. I don’t know if it was the lack of sleep but I still felt awful. My head was spinning round like the waltzers at the fair. I wet some paper towels to put against my forehead. I tried to take some deep breaths in but it made no difference. The last thing I remember was the sink coming closer.

When I woke up for the second time that day the first thing I saw was beautiful pale green eyes. When my brain caught up I realised they belonged to Bill.

He let out a sigh. “You frightened the shit out of me.”

“Sorry, the first one is a bit of a shock.”

“This happens often?”

I nodded. I tried to sit up and was unable to do so. Bill tucked his hands under my arms and helped me sit. He slid forward on the floor so my back rested on his chest. Only then did I realise I was laid in the galley part of the plane where the hostesses prepare the food. Ragnar was laid across my legs and Stacey was knelt beside me.

She smiled at me, “You have one smart dog there. He started acting up which I know isn’t him. Next thing I know he’s bolted over your friend and was scratching the bathroom door. I unlocked it and you were on the floor. Luckily you didn’t hurt your head. Bill lifted you out, we put you in here so you had some privacy..”

“Thank you. I’m sorry to freak you guys out.”

Stacey snorted, “Darling this ain’t my first rodeo. I’d rather have you passing out on me then deal with drunks or rich guys with wandering hands.”

That made me laugh. “Can I go back to my seat.”

“Sure thing honey. If your friend can take you and I’ll make you some sweet tea.”

Bill moved from behind me and Ragnar got off my legs. With Bill’s arms under mine, he helped pull me up. He put his arm around my waist to steady me and we walked slowly back to our seats, Ragnar following behind. Bill made sure I was seated and Ragnar was tucked in our row. Ragnar chose to lay on the floor in the middle of our seats.

Bill’s face was etched with worry. He sat and turned to face me. I placed my hand on his.

“I’m sorry for frightening you. It’s always rough the first time you deal with it on your own.”

“Is..is it because of your… Ya know.”

“My condition. Yeah. Sometimes I just get dizzy and pass out.”

Stacey came by with tea for both of us. She placed them on the tray in front of Bill. “You feeling better?”

“Yes thank you. And sorry again.”

“Oh, Evie stop it. It’s not the first time I’ve found you passed out in the bathroom. Breakfast will be about 30 minutes.”

Bill picked up one of the cups and passed it to me before picking up his own. “So Evie… has she dealt with this before?”

I blew on my tea and took a sip. “Yeah, Stacey does the Atlantic flights. I’ve traveled multiple times over the last 5 years so you get to know people. She knows all about me, she’s the first aider too so she’s taken care of me when I’ve been ill before.”

“You’re a nomad like me then. Forever traveling.”

I sighed. “It feels like it sometimes. It’s not how I imagined my life to turn out. But here I am.”

“What did you want before?”

“It doesn’t matter now. Rule number 3, never dwell on the past.”

Bill snorted, “You have rules?”

“Oh yes. I think that everybody should have rules or a code to live by. I bet you have rules.”

Bill wet his bottom lip. Oh, how I loved his firm plump lips. Especially when… Huh, excuse me.

“Yeah, I suppose so. Make sure I call mum once a week. Always try to make it home sometime during the year. Oh and always home for Christmas.”

“See. They’re no different to mine, I just put mine in order.”

“How many do you have?”

I hummed, “Ten at the moment. Some can change, somethings come and go.”

“Will you tell me them?”

“Maybe one day.”

He pouted, “You’re no fun.”

I laughed, “You and I both know that’s a load of shit.

He smiled again, “You’re right. Now drink your tea.”

We sat in content silence both drinking our teas. It wasn’t much longer before Stacey and one of her colleagues began the breakfast round. I noticed that she gave me mine before anyone else. That was another perk of flying first class, the food. When Stacey told Bill she knew what I liked, she wasn’t lying. She had made me a special breakfast; scrambled egg on toast, a small bowl of fruit and apple juice.

“So what shopping you need to do?” Bill asked taking the lid off his breakfast. In true Bill style, he had gone for the classic English Breakfast.

“Well, Harrods for mum’s biscuits and I need to pick up some things they’ve got on hold for me. There are some clothes things I need on Oxford street. Oh, and I might have to pop into work. I asked Katie to do most of the shopping, she’s an angel.

“Who’s Katie?” Bill asked with a mouthful of food.

“She’s the housekeeper, but a family friend too. I knew I didn’t have enough time to do everything, so I asked Katie to do a lot of the shopping. The last two weeks her family’s been staying there and they did things around London. She lives in north London, she pops in once or twice a week to check on stuff. Today she’d make the rooms up, make sure there’s food in the fridge. You can meet when we get there.”

“Ahh okay. Why does none else have your breakfast?” Bill asked.

“Because Stacey knows that after one of my episodes I don’t feel like eating. So she makes me a small portion. She’s my flying guardian angel.”

We didn’t really speak till breakfast was finished, I couldn’t manage everything so Bill and I shared the bowl of fruit. He picked up a strawberry. I rummaged in my purse for my pill box, I took my morning meds with the last of my apple juice.

“Will you be okay if I get some sleep?”

I nodded, “Yeah I’ll be okay. I won’t move.”

After the stewardesses had cleaned away our breakfast Bill asked for a pillow. Stacy brought him one back and another cup of tea for me. Bill tipped his chair back slightly and turned on his side so he faced me. It wasn’t long before he was asleep. Once he had relaxed you could see the stress and worries leave his face. You looked so young and peaceful.

I took my Ipad out of my handbag and glasses. I needed to get on with some of the work that I needed to do. There were some last minute things that needed to be dealt with for the Spring/Summer 2017 that was happening next week. I had to get them sorted before I left London in three days time, once I was back in Sweden there was nothing I could help them with. Once I had everything finished I could email the updates to the show’s director. I tried to work I really did but there’s one thing that I adore more than clothes, it’s the man sleeping next to me. Of course, he doesn’t know and I’d like to keep it that way for the foreseeable future.  

I loved watching Bill sleep. I couldn’t help myself. I grabbed my sketch pad from my bag, I flipped to the back where most of my personal drawing were; most of them were either of Bill or Ragnar. I turned in my chair so I could get just the right light and then went to work. I can get lost drawing, time flies by quicker than watching tv or reading. The drawing wasn’t the work of Michelangelo, it was still quite rough around the edges. I nearly had it completed before he woke. While he was stirring I inconspicuously slid the pad back in my bag.

He rubbed his face and sat up, his long hair sticking up at the side. I reached forward and brushed it down. He sleepily smiled at me before stretching and stumbling down the aisle to the bathroom. I checked the clock on the tv screen, it told me there were only an hour and a half left of our flight.

Once Bill was no longer a sleeping distraction I finally managed to concentrate on my work. When Bill came back from the bathroom he spotted the book that I was currently reading on the top of my handbag.

“What’s the book about?”

I looked over my glasses at him then peeped down at my bag, “Oh it’s Christopher Nolan’s biography, it’s about his disability. It’s not a typical autobiography it’s told in the third person by a narrator. Go ahead borrow it, just don’t move the bookmark.”

I rummaged in my bag and pulled out a piece of blue ribbon. “Use this for your bookmark.”

Bill took it from me, “Thanks… Why ribbon.”

I looked up at him, “Working in fashion and wardrobe there’s always spare pieces of everything lying around. Plus it’s thin enough that it won’t damage the book or spine.”

Will Bill got stuck into the book I slid my glasses back up my nose and carried on with my work. It wasn’t long before we had to put our things away and buckle our seatbelts. I made sure Ragnar was hooked up too. During landing, Bill took hold of my hand again. Once we were down and people were started to move I just stayed seated.

Bill looked at me funny. “Aren’t we leaving?”

I checked my watch, “Yeah to get a wheelchair on they have to wait till first class is empty.”

Bill nodded. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in a wheelchair.”

“I only use it if I’m really bad or need to cover long distances. When I’m working I can sit anytime I need and there’s not much walking involved. Airports are too big for me to walk and there’s too much standing.”

Bill nodded. He stood and started to arrange both my luggage and his bag. It wasn’t long and two men came onto the plane one pushing a wheelchair. I recognised them straight away. The one with the wheelchair who was tall and ginger was Charlie. And the man behind him with dark hair and arms the size of Chris Hemsworth was Alfie. Those two normal helped me.

Charlie smiled at me,“Ready for your carriage m’lady.”

I moved from my seat and into the wheelchair. I still didn’t feel very well. I knew Stacey and told them because they normally wait in the walkway. Alife took most of the luggage leaving Bill with his backpack. I handed Ragnar’s lead to Bill.

“Could you hold him please.”

“Yeah of course.” Ragnar was more than happy to walk with Bill.

It didn’t take long to get our bags which Alife loaded onto a trolley. Customs was a breeze, neither Bill nor I had much stuff to bring home. Charlie wheeled me through the airport, Alfie was behind pushing both mine and Bill’s luggage. With Bill’s long legs he had no problem keeping up with Charlie’s quick pace, he had hold of Ragnar’s lead. I rummaged in my bag for my phone, at 10 o’clock I knew Katie would be at the apartment by now. I got my phone out of my bag and sent her a message. ‘Hey I’m bringing a friend to stay could you please get one of the spare rooms ready. Thanks, Exx’

I turned to Bill. “I just sent Katie a text, she’ll make a room up for you by the time we get there.”

Bill smiled down at me, “Thanks”

We got to the airport’s main doors where a large black chauffeur-driven car was waiting. We were thankfully undercover because in true British style, it was raining. Once Charlie had helped me into the car he checked on Alfie and the driver, both had managed to load our luggage with ease. Arthur and Charlie waved us off before heading back in with the now empty wheelchair. Bill let Ragnar in first before sliding in. Ragnar lay on the floor between the two of us. It wasn’t long before we were on the motorway heading home.

I turned to look at Bill, “So it traveling with me as terrible as you thought?”

He turned from the window and smirked, “Nah it was alright. A personal baggage handler, being rushed through customs. It makes up for having to wait till everyone’s out of first class. I think I could get used to it.”

“So what do you want to do today?”

“Could I grab a shower first, then whatever.”

“Yeah that’s cool,” I checked my watch, “It’s 11 now, it will be 12 when we get there. So maybe shower, lunch and Harrods then.”

Bill nodded and went back to looking out of the window. I checked my phone seeing I had two messages. One was from Katie tell me that Bill’s room is sorted and she had arranged lunch. The other was from my friend Leo, who ran one of my favourite bars in London. He wondered if I could perform tomorrow night as one of his girls had injured themselves at rehearsals.

“Hey, Bill.”

He hummed.

“I need to go out tomorrow night. Do you want to come with me. It’s a cocktail bar.”

He did not turn from the window. “Yeah. I’ll come, sounds good.”

I pressed my lips together so I didn’t laugh. Little did he know it would be more than ‘good’ and yes he would definitely be coming.

A.N. - Please excuse my crudeness all will be revealed in the next chapter. A cookie for whoever can guess what’s happening at the bar.

[emilyslifeinlondon]

Wednesday March 17th-Thursday March 30th

I have officially finished my first block of classes! 6 weeks finished, and 6 more to go. I can’t believe how quickly the time has passed.

Some of the things I’ve done over the past few weeks:

-London Eye at night 🎡 -Met Daniel Radcliffe aka Harry Potter!!! ⚡️ -Maltby Market -Drinks at The Shard 🍸 -Ice Bar ❄️ -Harry Potter Studio Tour

After not being let onto the London Eye a few weeks ago (our reservation was for 6:00 pm and we arrived at 5:59 pm), we decided to go one night. The London skyline was beautiful, but due to the glare from the glass pods the pictures didn’t turn out nearly as well as I had hoped. Nonetheless, it was nice booking the London Eye in the evening since I had done it in the afternoon two years ago.

On March 20th, Becca and I went to see Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead at The Old Vic. I had read the play in high school, and was familiar with Hamlet so I was able to get most of the humor. However, the play was weird (which I knew it would be). Becca hadn’t heard of the play and we both really went to see it since Danielle Radcliffe was playing Rosencrantz; she feel asleep about halfway through the play and I was trying not to laugh. I got a gin & tonic and some mint chocolate ice cream which made the play all the more enjoyable. Afterwards, we waited in line outside of the theatre with our tickets for 15 minutes or so and finally got to meet Daniel! I was getting nervous and Becca told me to play it cool, but I couldn’t quite remember my words for a few seconds so I let others line up before me. Daniel was so down to earth and just a really nice person in general. Almost every night, he spends the time meeting everyone who came to see the play as well as others who just want to meet him. I was star struck and got a few pictures with him. He also signed my play ticket! It was such an amazing night and I remember leaving the theatre with a huge smile on my face being giddy with Becca; after all, we had met the boy who lived!

Em and I spent the following weekend exploring some of the many markets within London. One of my favorites was Maltby Market. I got some mediocre cod and chips, but loved the Dhan eggs that I got. This snack is a mix between a donut, waffle, and cake that you can add toppings to. I got 4 eggs topped with Nutella, lavender honey, and caramel. They were delicious and came in a little egg carton, which was aesthetically pleasing and insta-worthy. We ended up at The Shard and went to The Aqua Shard for drinks; it was a beautiful, clear day so the views were amazing. We looked over Thames and London Bridge. I asked for and ended up getting ‘the sweetest drink that they had’. I really enjoyed it and am glad, since it was £19.00! Yikes. They also had a £900.00 bottle of wine and Em and I thought about splitting it. 😏 Not really, but it’s nice to dream.

On Tuesday, a handful of us went to the Ice Bar in London. I had heard of it and looked up pictures and it looked really cool (get it, lol). It was a lot smaller than I had expected, but the jackets and gloves they gave us were perfect for the experience. The drinks were served in glasses made of ice, and yes I was definitely cold in there. After our reservation ended, we went to some club and got free shots, and then went to Zoo Bar. I hate tequila but I had 3 shots since they’re more inexpensive than some drinks and get ya to that good point, if you know what I mean. 😬 Almost everyone in our program ended up there that night, so that was pretty cool. Em and I got McDonald’s before getting on the bus home which was delicious. I’m always down for nuggets and fries, or rather chips.

Yesterday, Becca, Natalie, and I went to The Harry Potter Studio Tour. Until then, I had not left zones 1 and 2, and this place was located in zone 8 which tells you how far it was. We took the tube, a train, and a bus to get there. We were late but still had 2 hours to walk around. I hadn’t realized that the dining hall scenes as well as many of the others had been filmed here! One second you’re in Dumbledore’s office and you turn around and you’re in Snape’s potion class. Some of the magic is lost when you see how small the sets actually are, but it was so cool seeing the actually props, costumes, and sets from the series. Some of the highlights were: 4 Privet Drive, the Weasley’s blue car, Platform 9 ¾, Diagon Alley, and Hermione’s dress from the Yule Ball. I had some butterbeer ice cream and chips for dinner. How healthy. I also bought a chocolate frog and hope there’s a Dumbledore card in there!

After getting back a little before 10:30 pm, I was running around frantically trying to finish my Trans-Atlantic paper, pack, and figure out my fall courses. I went to bed a little after 2:00 am so I was exhausted after having to wake up at 7:15 am for class. I got McDonald’s after class which was just what I needed, said bye to Becca, and headed to the airport. I’m off to Greece (Athens, Santorini, and Mykonos) until Wednesday so my next post will be all about my Grecian adventures! 🇺🇾