#(Hi- i would still die for Marlowe-)

[madamspellmans-met-tet]

🧁A Christmas Miracle🧁

Farah Dowling x Reader

(left image from pinterest, middle mine, right one @poetrytrashsposts)

tags: Resurrection, Christmas Eve, Christmas Fluff, Fix-It, no beta we die like Farah, Married Couple

summary: A year after Farah's death, her wife Aster tries to bring her back—on Christmas Eve.

wc: ~ 2.9 k, G rated

A/N: hiiii! this is quick and dirty since I wrote it at 5 am, but I just had this idea yesterday and thought you know what we need this christmas? for farah to come back to us. and it gave me an excuse to revisit Aster, since y'all seemed to like her a lot. Merry Christmas!:)

*******************************************************

Christmas had never been this cold—and yet, Aster didn’t even stop to put on her coat. She grabbed it in passing and followed Saul out of the cottage door and into the dark winter’s night. Her breath condensed into a translucent plume as she fiddled with the zipper of her white marlow coat while walking. If it weren’t for the hat still in her pocket, her ears would be freezing off; the tip of her nose was already numb, so that the snowflake melting on it was almost imperceptible.

“And you really think it’s going to work?” she asked, catching up to Saul, who had his hands buried deep in his pockets and his forehead in a deep frown.

“It has to. We’re drawing on the magic of every fairy at Alfea,” he said and picked up his pace. Aster could barely keep up with her short legs, but she couldn’t blame him. She was just as desperate to set the plan they’d been working on for a year now since Rosalind’s death and Bloom’s disappearance into the Realm of Darkness in motion.

“Saul?” Aster stopped. The wind blew hair into her face, and it felt as if the tears welling up in her eyes were turning to ice. It burned.

Saul, who had walked a few more steps, turned and trudged through his own footprints in the snow back to her.

“I’m scared,” Aster said when he stood before her, her lip quivering.

“I know, love.” Saul put his hands on the side of her shoulders. “But you’ve made it this far. The worst is behind us now, ey?”

-> continue

[foggybear42]

i need to remind everyone of one of my favourite non-roleplaying moments of dndads s2. it’s basically just freddie suffering for almost 2 minutes straight. also i copy pasted the transcript if you can’t/don’t want to listen to the video. it’s under the cut

Beth: Hi. I’m Beth May, and I play… [intensely] Scary Marlowe.

[gasps]

Freddie: [harsh coughing]

Will: She's back.

Beth: I’m…

Freddie: [off mic] Oh, shit! [more coughing]

Beth: Oh my God!

Freddie: I— [still coughing off-mic]

Beth: Have you ever scared somebody so bad that they got COVID?

[laughter]

Freddie: No, I swallowed—[sniff]—spit…

Matt: Freddie doesn't have hiccups anymore.

Freddie: Into my… [coughs] Into my— lungs. [back on mic] I gasped too hard.

Anthony: What a way to die, that would be.

Beth: Wow.

Freddie: [off mic] Holy shit.

Beth: That's how I want to go. Fun fact about… S—

Freddie: [hiccups] Oh, fuck, I—

[group laughter]

Anthony: Oh, no…! You buffoon!

Matt: Freddie, leave the room!

Anthony: Augh!

Will: Freddie, that's disgusting!

Matt: Freddie, leave the room!

Freddie: [off mic] Hold on!

Matt: Beth needs to give a fact. Get outta here!

Freddie: No, no. I have a straw!

Matt: You stay away from your microphone!

Freddie: [off mic] I have a straw!

Anthony: Who gives a shit about your straw?

Matt: You’re like getting cl—

Freddie: [off mic] I got a straw!

Matt: You’re like, getting closer when you're coughing.

Freddie: [off mic] Guys, shut up, I have a—

[snap!]

Freddie: [off mic, yelling] Ow!

Anthony: Oh fuck!

[joyous group laughter]

Anthony: He just ran into the kitchen and…

Freddie: [off mic, yelling] Ow!

Anthony: …tripped on a cord and hit his fucking foot.

Matt: You don't have to run! This isn't a live show.

Anthony: You can edit this!

Freddie: [off mic, yelling something]

Beth: He didn't even trip on a cord!

Will: [off mic] We can cut this out!

Anthony: He didn't?

Will: [off mic] What are you doing?

Anthony: What did he…?

Beth: I think that we should cut it out!

Will: Freddie’s…

Beth: I don't even think it's that funny.

Will: Freddie’s walking back with a glass and he's…

Matt: Freddie bought this… $40 hiccup straw that he tried to show me last time. And it did not work.

Freddie: Okay, okay.

Matt: It's my favorite thing that's ever happened.

Anthony: It’s an anti-hiccup straw?

Freddie: I have a— see this straw… [hiccup]. So this straw was invented by a doctor to cure hiccups, so you have to just suck water through it.

Matt: By a quack!

Anthony: Alright, here we go!

Freddie: Okay. [tiny noise of air]

[pause]

Will: [quiet chuckling]

Beth: [sighing] Oh…

[pause]

Matt: Last time he did this, he hiccuped five seconds afterwards.

Beth: I’m gonna—

Freddie: It worked!

Beth: All right. Hey! I'm Beth May.

Freddie: Hey, Beth!

Beth: And I play [intensely] Scary Marlowe.

[gasps]

Beth: A goth pu— [laughs]

[laughter]

Anthony: How much money would you give to make Freddie cough in it right now and hiccup? For another hour?

[y2ksnowglobe]

I love the dissonance that happens when the players have a different interpretation of certain characters than Anthony and you can tell.

Like Veronica Marlowe, I love her, but she formed a band as a teen and yet won't let Scary play guitar? She's fairly chill about Scary running off to Seattle but has an opinion on torn up jeans?

But the dissonance can be fun! I'm sitting here poking it like it's a stir fry and listening to it sizzle.

So...now that I've let it cook, I present: Some Veronica Marlowe head canons.

We see in Hell, the projection version of Scary's dad asking for money, due to her past history of lending him money when she probably couldn't afford it means that money is tight in the Marlowe household.

Having her ex depend on her for money in the past means she feels really uncomfortable with Terry Jr. helping out with the finances. So when it comes to things for herself or for Scary, Veronica wants the money to be from her own account.

This is probably why Terry had to tell her where he hid the "in case I die" money, because she wasn't going to be okay dipping into any of his cash while he was alive.

And if you think Scary is going to accept any gift from Terry Jr. if he decides to buy things out of his own money, that's not a thing.

So she sees Scary's rebel phase and recognizes it as something similar to what she went through, and is pretty sure it's not going to last a particularly long time. So is she going to dish out for a guitar and private lessons from her own tight budget when she can't be sure Scary will even still be interested in guitar in five months? She can, however, handle renting a cello and knowing that Scary will be able to get free lessons in Orchestra at school.

Money is tight and you can't untear jeans. She doesn't want to have to buy a whole new bunch of pants when Scary decides she's over the goth thing. Scary only recently finished a massive growth spurt and those pants were supposed to last!

Not spending money on a tongue piercing that probably isn't going to be a thing her daughter will want later (and add a dash of the same reasons Freddie's dad says it's a bad idea to get piercings around the mouth and nose.)

So in essence, these are not a conflict in values, per se. It's a financial problem getting in the way of a situation that Veronica otherwise would probably be very willing to empathize with her daughter over.

*cracks knuckles* Now did I really need to take the time to make those things line up? No, but it's fun and helps flesh out a character with a shameful lack of air time.

[withering-look]

Guildford and Jane at a Shakespeare play. Or Kit Marlowe.

Thank you for your request @angel-starbeam ! I went with Shakespeare and for this ficlet we're ignoring history once again. If the book can cite Shakespeare, so can we. 😆

I still take requests if anyone wants to!

The play had been Guildford’s idea, to take their minds off the uncertainty of the future, to provide a little distraction from the worry about their families, to spend one of their first evenings in freedom like newlyweds (no, not that kind of play!), but now that the tragedy unfolds on stage, he sinks deeper and deeper into his seat, just like Jane.

“O happy dagger, this is thy sheath: there rust, and let me die,” Juliet breathes on the stage and collapses over her Romeo, all while Guildford extends a sweat-coated hand to Jane.

A girl on one of the seats in the stalls under them mutters a little too loudly, “Oh, how futile a death like that is, to die for a love that couldn't be”; and not even months ago, Jane would have wholeheartedly agreed, but now when Guildford squeezes her hand, and looks at her with twinkling eyes, whispering, “Non potest amor cum timore misceri*,” she can't help but smile and pull him into a kiss.

*(‘Love cannot be mixed with fear’ for those of you peasants who didn't visit that kind of school)

** The quote is from Seneca's collection of Epistulae morales ad Lucilium, 62 n. Chr., letter 47! (Because I actually went to that kind of school despite being a dirty peasant 🤣)

[drowningparty]

It was hard being gay in the 1400s, you had to go to medical school just to summon a boyfriend. nowadays you can download an app

Local man shocked & appalled to find demon he invited into his chambers last night in his chambers where he invited him when he said: "oh please come over c'mon please go on" last night

'Charge d'affaires,' really? that's the best hell could do? I'm sorry babygirl I'd promote you. I still have to appreciate the way Faustus asked Meph to serve him 'for life' two days ago and Meph said 'sure no problem xx' and has already effortlessly haggled him down to 24 years, the man might be a third-rate demon but he's a first-rate lawyer

Gay.

Was Dardania......well-known for its necromancy? Whatever the Dardanians were hiding, it must have worked. 436 years since the last witchcraft allegation.

Talking about how beautiful your boss / former co-workers were as angels. Definitely over the whole falling from heaven thing ha-ha. He's fine now. Really.

Okay, I'm waking up Marlowe's ghost to ask if I can add "for as soon as I got possession of your heart" into an adaptation of Doctor Faustus because I for one would die I for one would be killed if Mephistopheles said that I would drop down dead which is the only reason why I can explain his omission of it he knew its lethal properties

I find their squabbling endearing. After this he goes off to sulk and make almanacs for two years without summoning any demons until one day he's very sad and Mephisto appears like a shot so concerned he tells Faustus he'll say anything to cheer him up so Faustus asks how the world was made and Meph goes uhhhhh Big Fish??? The Big Cosmic Fish??? and Faustus goes yeah. Sounds Fake but I don't know enough about cosmology to dispute him.

Love Mephisto. Love that the sarcasm predates Marlowe. Love that he's always been a snarky little devil. Get him.

[biancastoaster]

A Lily By Any Other Name (Is Still a Lily)

Category: Gen

Fandom: Psych (TV 2006)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Author Decided Not to Use Archive Warnings

Relationships: Carlton Lassiter & OC

Characters: Lily M. Lassiter (OC), Carlton Lassiter, Carlton Lassiter's father, Shawn Spencer

Additional Tags: character death, misgendering, deadnaming, all that fun stuff, OC insert, sad Lassiter, flashbacks, homophobia, transphobia, little brother Lassiter, no beta we die like yin

Summary: Carlton visits his older sister. 

Author’s Notes: Lassiter needed an older sibling, I think it would’ve been good for him. 

I hope you guys like this, it took me a month to write. 

~~~~~~

At his desk, Carlton checked the time. Not yet. 

5 minutes went by before he checked again, and slumped back in his chair in disappointment when he saw it hadn’t been long since he last looked. 

This repeated until it finally was time. He quickly got ready to go. But just before he stood up to leave, Carlton grabbed a small file and put it inside his briefcase. He snapped the clasps shut and briskly began his way from his new office to his car. 

Halfway through the corridor, he’s stopped by an all too familiar voice. 

“Lassie! Where you going?” 

Carlton heaved a deep, exasperated sigh. Without even looking to see who it was, he kept walking away. “Not that it’s any of your business Spencer, but I’m visiting a family member.” 

Shawn caught up, ambling alongside Carlton. “Ooo, who? Is it Lauren? No wait, I got it: it’s your mother…s.”

He rolled his eyes. “None of them. I’m visiting my older sister, Lily.”

Shawn gave a look of surprise. “I didn’t know you had an older sister! Hold on, does she know you named your kid after her?”

Lassiter briskly walked out the door, Shawn still on his tail. “No, that’s why I’m visiting her today.”

“Doooes Marlowe know?”

“Yes, in fact she was the one who encouraged the name.”

“No no no, not that. Well, actually, yeah that too. But, does she know you’re visiting your sister without her?”

“Yes, she’s well aware I’m- you know what, I’m not entertaining this anymore. I need to leave now, I don’t want to be late.”

~~~

1974

It was dark out, the pitch black of night covering the neighborhood in a blanket, the sky dotted with little pinpricks of stars.  

Carlton Lassiter was in his bed, and he was tossing and turning in his sleep, mumbling nonsensical words to himself. 

He eventually woke up with a gasp. He was shaking, and he reached up to feel tear tracks on his face. He could’ve sworn that… 

But no. He was here, at home, safe in his bed. 

He wiped the remaining tears from his face, and tried to go back to sleep. But the adrenaline still lingered, keeping him awake and scared. Shadows seemed to loom from the corners, taking the form of monsters and blank figures. 

Eventually, he couldn’t take being alone in his room anymore. Grabbing his blanket, he gently hopped off his bed and onto the floor, and began making his way to his parents room. 

But right before Carlton even touched the doorknob, he hesitated. He didn’t want to bother them with something like this. His dad would probably just send him back to his room. And besides, their light was turned off, meaning his parents were fast asleep. 

So he kept going down the hall, and up the stairs. 

Carlton crept past the dining room and kitchen, and made his way to his brother Liam’s room. There was a tiny bit of light shining from under the door, nearly invisible to the untrained eye. 

He grabbed the doorknob, and as it made a small jiggling sound the light quickly turned off.

Carlton gently opened the door. “Liam?”

From the bed in the corner of the room, a head belonging to his 12 year old brother popped up from underneath the covers. “CJ? What’s wrong? Are you alright?”

He found himself unable to answer, his face screwing up and tears falling once more. 

Liam sat up, immediately concerned for his little brother. “Hey, hey, it’s alright, it’s alright. Come here.”

Carlton complied, clambering onto the bed and sinking into his older brother’s arms.

“It’s okay, just let it out.”

And he did, slowly hiccuping his way through telling Liam about the whole bad dream. 

The whole time, Liam sat there, rubbing Carlton’s back periodically to try and soothe him, like he had seen people on tv do. 

After sitting for a minute, Carlton sniffled, looking up at Liam. “What were you doing before I came in?”

“Ohh, just rereading The Hobbit.” 

“Can you- can you read it to me?” 

Liam smiled. “Of course. Did you want me to start at the beginning, or where I’m at?”

“Where you left off.”

“Alright then. Get comfy, come on, CJ.”

As Carlton snuggled under the covers, Liam reached under the first pillow and grabbed the book and pen light he had hidden just before Carlton came in. 

He cleared his throat, reading out loud, “As they sang the hobbit felt the love of beautiful things made by hands and by cunning and by magic moving through him, a fierce and a jealous love, the desire of the hearts of dwarves…”

Carlton slowly began to become more and more drowsy as the gentle timbre of his brother’s voice lulled him to sleep. 

“He looked out of the window. The stars were out in a dark sky above the trees. He thought of the jewels of the dwarves shining in dark caverns…”

Right when he was about succumb completely to sleep, he felt Liam gently put away the book and turn out the light once more. 

~~~

present

Carlton carefully pulled into a small strip mall, right in front of a store called ‘The Flower Corner’. 

He walked in, and stood at the desk, clearing his throat to catch the attention of the lady behind the desk. 

She looked up and saw him, and quickly stood up. “Oh hello, sir! How can I help you today?”

“I’m here to pickup a bouquet. It should be under Lassiter.”

“Of course, just one second.” She tapped a few keys on her keyboard, clicking a bit with her mouse as well. “Alright then, I’ll go ahead and grab it from the back.”

Carlton began awkwardly drumming his fingers on the counter as he waited for the employee to get back. 

“Alright, here they are!” 

He looked up and saw a beautiful bunch of flowers, a mix of pink lilies and carnations, all expertly wrapped in decorative plastic to hold it all together. 

As he paid, the cashier asked, “Who are the flowers for?” 

“My sister, Lily.” 

“Awww! Well, I can definitely see why you chose the lilies, then. I’m sure she’ll love them.”

Carlton nodded stiffly. The whole interaction felt awkward to him, and he hated awkward situations. So once he had gotten the bouquet paid for, he tried his best not to run out the door. 

~~~

1976

Carlton was riding in the back of his father’s car, on the way to pick up Liam from his friend’s house. 

He couldn’t remember his name, but he was pretty sure Liam’s friend was on the football team along with Liam himself. 

Looking out the window as they pulled up to the curb next to the house, he saw figures moving around behind the windows, presumably his brother and his friend saying goodbye.  

To his surprise, Carlton watched as his older brother walked out with a girl he didn’t recognize, instead of another guy. Maybe it was Liam’s friend’s sister? 

They had stopped at the entryway to continue a conversation, talking very animatedly, using dramatic hand gestures and exaggerated expressions. 

The two — along with Carlton — were startled when his dad honked the horn. 

Liam gave an apologetic look to the girl, and she burst into laughter. They exchanged a few more words before she gave him an energetic hug, which he equally returned. 

In the rearview mirror, Carlton saw a grin forming on his father. It was very clear what he thought the hug between the two had meant. But Carlton could just tell it wasn’t that kind of hug. He’d seen his parents hug, and girls and boys — couples — hug each other public. However, he had also seen girls hugging girls — their best friends — as well. That’s what kind of hug his brother and the girl had reminded him of.

As Liam climbed into the car, his dad gave him a look. “So, who was that?” 

Liam buckled in. “Just Chuck’s sister, she’s really nice.”

“Really nice, huh?” 

Carlton caught the suggestive look on his dad at the same time Liam did. “No, dad, it’s not- she’s just nice, I barely even know her.” 

His dad laughed. “That’s how it always starts. Soon enough you’ll be all over each other.”

It was then that Carlton noticed his brother’s face. It was red. The same shade of red his mother had at the end of the day when she finally took off her makeup. 

Not red in embarrassment from his father’s comments. He looked as if he’d been rubbing it continuously to get something off.

‘Was that what Liam had been doing? Wearing makeup?’

Later that day, Carlton confronted him, demanding to know the truth. Eventually, Liam caved. 

“Okay, okay, fine. Chuck wasn’t actually there, he had something come up. But Linda was, and… she uh… needed someone to model some of her makeup for her, and she asked me since we have really close skin tones.” Liam twisted his hands. “Her words, not mine.”

Carlton was young, only 8, but he knew when his brother was lying. However, he also knew when he should and shouldn’t pressure Liam with more questions, and decided to leave it alone. 

~~~

present

Carlton pulled out of the flower shop, and onto the road once more. 

He’d been driving for at least another 5 minutes when he hit a pothole that he heard a particularly loud bump from the back. He thought it was his briefcase for a minute, but a quick glance at the passenger seat told him that wasn’t true. There was something — or someone — in the trunk. 

Carlton pulled over to the side of the road, and grabbed his gun from his holster and cocked it. 

He pointed it at the trunk door, and quickly opened it. “Freeze!”

Light flossed the trunk, and a very familiar high pitched girlish scream emerged from inside. “Nonono don’t shoot!” 

“Spencer? What the hell are you doing here?”

Shawn clumsily clambered out of the trunk, tripping momentarily before regaining his balance. “I just wanted to meet your mystery sister, man. I’ve known you for what, 8 years? And I’ve never heard you talk about you ‘big sister Lily’.”

Carlton took a deep breath. “Spencer…” he briefly thought about ditching him on the side of the road. But a quick look told him that would be inhumane. And probably illegal. He ran a hand down his face exhaustedly. “Fine. You can come.” Shawn pumped a fist. “But you’re sitting in the back.”

“Tch.” Shawn made a dissapointed face, but got in the backseat anyway. 

~~~

1978

Carlton was hiding in his room, trying his best to drown out Liam and his father’s argument they were having just down the hall. 

Liam had been caught underneath the bleachers at the track, locking lips with the captain of the football team. Chuck, Liam’s so-called best friend, was the one to catch them, snitching on the couple to Carlton’s father. 

Which was what the current argument between the two was about.  

Everything was mostly muffled, thanks to Carlton shoving a pillow over his head to drown out the noise, but he definitely heard his father say something along the lines of ‘not raising his son to be a faggot’. 

At this, Liam raised his voice even more, becoming sou loud it permeated through the pillow. “I’m not gay, Dad!”

“Oh really? And how’s that, huh?”

“Because I’m a girl!”

There was a tense silence, shortly broken by the sound of a sharp slap, followed by quick footsteps running down the hall and up the stairs. Carlton could practically feel the slam of his brother’s- no, not brother, his sister’s bedroom door reverberating through the house. 

He waited for the sound of his father following after, but there was nothing.

Quietly, he opened his door. Carlton silently tiptoed upstairs, making sure he didn’t make too much sound. After a short trip, he made it upstairs, gently knocking on the door to his sister’s bedroom.   

“Are you alright-” he opens the door, and stops. So does Liam, who’s in the middle of shoving a t-shirt into a slowly overflowing backpack. “Liam? What are you doing?” 

Carlton sees her wince at the name. “I just… need some space from dad. I’m gonna stay at a friend’s house for a bit, wait for him to cool down a bit.”

“But, why is he mad at you for being a girl?”

She sighed. “I don’t know, buddy. Some people just, I can’t- they’re not really-” Her face started to scrunch up, eyes filling with tears. “But don’t worry, I won’t be gone for long, okay?”

He didn’t understand, but he nodded anyway. “Okay…”

She slung her backpack over her shoulder, and slid the window leading outside open. Just before slipping out, she paused and turned around. “Hey Carlton, can I ask you a favor?”

He perked up a little. “What is it?”

She scooted to the edge of the window, prepping to jump down. “Remember how you asked all of us to stop calling you CJ?” 

At least Carlton was able to understand this. “Yeah. It felt like a girly name to me.”

She smiled. “That’s kind of what I’m doing. ‘Liam’ doesn’t feel right.”

“Well, what do you want me to call you?”

“Lily. Just call me Lily instead.”

“Lily.” He tested it out “Okay. Bye Lily.”

“Bye Carlton. I’ll see you soon.” And with that, she jumped from the windowsill and landed nimbly on the soft grass far below. Lily wasted no time in booking it down the road, her figure quickly fading from sight as the night swallowed her. 

~~~

Present

Carlton’s hands subconsciously gripped the steering wheel as he remembered that night. He did get to see her again after that. Very soon, in fact. Just not in the way he had hoped. 

It had been a hit and run. There was only one bystander, and they hadn’t been close enough to see the car’s details in the pitch black of night. 

Carlton remembered sitting in the hospital waiting room with his parents and Lauren, the latter of whom was napping in her baby carrier, anxiously anticipating any news of Lily’s condition. 

He remembered someone coming out and whispering to his parents solemnly, something about Liam’sconditions, and how he wasn’t going to make it. 

He remembered going to her room and being told to say his goodbyes to Liam, seeing her broken and damaged body lying limply on the hospital bed. 

He remembered begging her still unmoving body to come back, to not leave him alone. 

He remembered being dragged away, tears flowing like a river as her heart monitor flatlined. 

He remembered his father reprimanding him, telling him he was tarnishing Liam’s memory by calling her Lily. 

He remembered that was the night that the last shred of respect he had for his dad crumbled away. 

It was as though he had just gotten to know his big sister, and then she was yanked away from him. 

As much as he hated it, it was the final push he needed in finalizing his decision of pursuing a career as a police officer, then head detective, then his current position as Chief of police. 

“Wait, Lassie this is-” Shawn cut himself off, immediately realized where they were going. “Oh man. I- I’m sorry, I had-”

“It’s fine, Spencer. You didn’t know.” Carlton said, his tone uncharacteristically soft.  

He pulled his car onto a gravelly path, bumping slightly along as he searched for-

There. He could see it from here. It wasn’t like it could be moved, but he almost always lost it in the sea of granite and marble, and would have to go on a search. 

He parked, and reached into the passenger seat where his briefcase and the bouquet still sat. 

“I’ll just- just wait here, Lassie. Me and dead people… it’s really depressing.”

“I wasn’t going to ask you to come anyway, Spencer.” Just before he closed the door, he pointed a threatening finger at Shawn. “You touch anything in here and I will not hesitate to shoot you. Copy?” 

Shawn said nothing, simply giving him a mock salute. Carlton rolled his eyes and shut the door. 

He walked up to a gray marble tombstone. The area had been mowed recently, so there was still some grass clippings scattered on the base of it. 

Liam Lily Mark Lassiter 

1962-1978

son daughter, brother sister, friend

Carlton smiled a bit to himself. Normally, he was opposed to defacement of property, but this was an exception in his eyes. Lily deserved to have her true name on the stone that marked her final resting place. 

He kneeled down and, after brushing away the grass clippings, gently set the bouquet in front of the tombstone, making sure none of the words were obscured. He’d already taken the plastic wrapping off. The world didn’t need more trash littered everywhere. 

“Hey Lily. I know it’s been a while. A few months, actually.” 

Carlton shifted a bit, trying to get comfortable. “I got promoted. I’m Chief of police now, like I’ve always worked for.” 

The tombstone sat silently.

“Uhmm, Marlowe gave birth, too. In the back of a food truck, of all places. Of course, it was all Spencer’s and Guster’s fault. I’m sure that doesn’t surprise you, huh?” 

Silence.

He continued. “It’s a girl, and god she is so beautiful. She has your eyes. We named her after you.” 

Still silence. 

“I have something else.” He reached beside him for his briefcase, and pulled out the file from earlier. “I managed to get your name legally changed. It was one hell of a legal battle, but Mom and Althea and I managed it. You’ll be getting a new tombstone soon, one with your real name.”

Taking a deep breath, he went on. “I miss you, Lily. But, not as much as I used to. I hope you don’t mind.”

A gentle breeze brushed by him, ruffling his hair. 

Carlton cleared his throat. “I’m… not good at saying goodbye. Even after all these visits. You’d think I’d get the hang of it by now.” 

Somewhere in a nearby tree, a bird tittered. 

“Okay, I’ll try to come back sooner next time. I know you don’t like waiting.” He packed up his briefcase once more, and turned away, heading back to his car. 

~~~

Bonus: 

Lily watched as he left, swinging her feet from the tombstone, a soft smile playing on her lips. She looked exactly how she had when she died, but somehow emulated an air of femininity she would never have been able to achieve while alive. 

She waved, even though she knew her little brother wouldn’t see it. “Bye, Carlton.”

[avelera]

So "Doctor Faustus" already being out by the time Dream came by in 1589, is...uh, possibly a bit fudged for the sake of the story in Sandman, but I'm thinking about Hob canonically calling bisexual legend Kit Marlowe a great playwright, and the fact that Doctor Faustus is literally about a handsome demon seducing a more or less normal guy into selling his soul in exchange for an extraordinary life, including temporary immortality during the agreed 24-year span (including a scene where Faustus survives a murder attempt and holds his own severed head in a scene that I'm sure made Hob fuckin' blanche wondering if his secret had gotten out).

And I'm also thinking about how there's a strong running theme in "Faustus" of Mephistophilis steering Faust away from getting married. There is no Marguerite (Faust's wife in other versions) in Marlowe's version of the story which is really interesting. Especially because there's a rather strong whiff of jealousy (especially with Arthur Darvill's performance) around Mephistophilis urging Faust away from marriage, saying he'll bring him fine courtesans, or even (eventually) Helen of Troy instead, but definitely don't get married.

And I'm also thinking about my (and others') emerging fanon that Hob had his own written-or-unwritten fanfic of Faust x Mephistophilis that was heavily based on his own fantasies around his dark and mysterious stranger who gave him immortality. ("This could be us, but you keep fuckin' leaving after 5 minutes...") and a thought occurred to me.

So it's really weird that Hob just happens to get married within a few years, at most, of his 1589 meeting with Dream.

Now, my main assumption around this, Watsonian/in-universe, is that Hob wanted to demonstrate success to his stranger. So within a few years of the 1589 meeting, he looked at the date and went, "Oh shit, if I really wanted to show off I should get married and have an heir on the way, that's the true mark of success in my era!" (Which, of course, Dream is spectacularly unimpressed by and/or projecting his own miseries onto Hob's inevitable despair once they die.)

But now I'm thinking about "Doctor Faustus" and also kind of wondering... timeline fudging aside where he could have conceivably seen the play (or some early version of it while Marlowe was writing it) and if that could lend to a slightly alternative reading of why Hob was in a rush to get married before his meeting with his stranger?

Either:

My tall dark and possibly-not-the-Devil-then-again- the Devil-could-just-LIE stranger is coming. Faustus in "Doctor Faustus" passed up on a chance to possibly have his soul saved by not being married. So it might be a good idea to be married just in case, y'know, for the sake of my soul and so I'm not tempted by being single.

(The more Dreamling-shippy one) My tall dark and handsome stranger can't possibly be interested in me. In fact, it's kind of pining and pathetic to still be nominally single when he comes by, especially after 200 years. Talk about desperate. Maybe it's better if I'm married, that way I don't look desperate and it's not like he'd ever be interested, right? But if he does seem annoyed that I'm married, I will have definitely learned something.

Only for Dream to peace out of there almost immediately upon meeting happily-married-Hob.

Now, do I think canonically that Hob was sort of testing the waters by getting married? Not especially cuz it's an ass-backwards way to go about it, if it was a consideration at all, I'd see it as more hedging to the tune of not looking desperate, rather than trying to make Dream jealous or anything.

But I would bet (or at least put in a fanfic) that Hob added the fact that Dream did not seem especially enthused about his marriage into his little mental list of "Maybe? But surely not. But maybe?" as it emerged around, say, 1789 along with all the other later evidence of possible interest.

[hollygl125]

On that “Gruesome” Grissom:

“You’re not good with people.”

I wrote the following back in March 2023 but never posted it (for various reasons, including the Tumblr walruses eating my tags when I attempted it).  It’s back now with just a little revision.

@addictedtostorytelling’s somewhat recent (yes, that’s relative to March 2023) meta on Grissom just wanting Sara to be happy reminded me of something I had been pondering recently.  (Of course, @addictedtostorytelling’s recent meta—that’s now relative to April 2024—on Grissom’s supposed “dark side” also brought this unposted ramble of mine to mind.)

Over the last several weeks (yup, March 2023), I’ve been rewatching select scenes and storylines from the early seasons of CSI.  I was again struck by the scene in “Face Lift” (01x17) where, after Grissom fails to realize a glass wall isn’t going to keep the Marlowes from their long-lost daughter, Catherine tells Grissom, “You’re not good with people.”

This isn’t the first time Catherine tells Grissom he’s not good with people (not that I’ve been doing an exhaustive tally).  At the beginning of the first season, in “Pledging Mr. Johnson” (01x04), she sarcastically tells him, “I should be just like you.  Alone in my hermetically sealed condo watching discovery on the big screen working genius-level crossword puzzles, but no relationships.  No chance any will slop over into a case.  Right.  I want to be just like you.”  It won’t be the last time, either.

Of course, in “Pledging Mr. Johnson” (01x04), Catherine also fails to comprehend the potential repercussions of disclosing information to the deceased’s husband and—in addition to compromising the investigation—ultimately gets the deceased’s lover killed by said husband, thereby ruining two lives.  But I guess we’ll forget about that.

(Much more discussion under the cut—and it gets decidedly GSR-focused by the end—and the middle, for that matter. 💕)

In contrast, Grissom clearly thinks Catherine is the best with people.  He comments on it at least twice in the first season:

In “Unfriendly Skies” (01x09), he asks Catherine to get the passengers’ shoes, telling her, “You’re the ‘people’ person, right?”

In “$35K O.B.O.” (01x18), he tells her, “Catherine, there's a reason I assigned you this case. You're good with people, both the dead and the living.”

Of course, in “Unfriendly Skies” (01x09) Grissom is the one who manages to give his “‘people’ person” his puppy-dog eyes to get her to do what he wants.  He also manages to swoop in to be pretty darn (almost unbelievably) smooth with the school director, Dr. Gilbert, in “Sounds of Silence” (01x20).  He certainly doesn’t seem bad with people there.  But it’s the first season.  We know we can’t expect consistency.

Then there’s Sara.  Sara is Grissom’s heart; Sara restores his faith in the human being.  Okay, again, it’s the first season, so those things are probably still a work in progress.  But I would hazard that at this point he already (either implicitly or explicitly) sees her as the best, most caring person he knows.  And, in “Too Tough to Die” (01x16), this best, most caring person tells him he “[doesn’t] feel anything.”

Of course, by “Too Tough to Die” (01x16) Grissom has already proven that he too cares about things—or, more significantly, people.  He’s the only one who thinks about the victim’s perspective in “Unfriendly Skies” (01x09), for example (turning Ms. Sidle into heart eyes in the process).  And, above all else, he certainly cares for Sara; he’s already shown that on several occasions, at least: “Crate ’n’ Burial” (01x03), “Sex, Lies, and Larvae” (01x10), and “Too Tough to Die” (01x16).  I don’t think she really believes he doesn’t feel anything.  But it still must sting for him that she says it.

As @figsr noted, Grissom has also already been visibly hurt by Sara’s “Gruesome, Grissom” comment, in “Crate ’n’ Burial” (01x03).  Sara’s surely not the first person to make that alliterative connection, but I suspect it especially smarts coming from someone he must view as a kindred spirit.  (I doubt, for example, that (m)any other TV characters have ever expressed quite such high levels of enthusiasm about the prospect of visiting a body farm as Sara (in “Burden of Proof,” 02x15) and Grissom (in “Let the Chips Fall,” CSI: Vegas, 1x05).)

Now, I don’t know how Grissom originally became the man with the shell around his heart.  (I theorized a bit on this in the third chapter of my first story.)  But here we are in the first season, and we have two of the most important women in his life—one the best “people” person he knows and one just the best person he knows—telling him how he’s just not good with people, how he doesn’t feel anything—I mean, the poor guy!

This doesn’t end with the first season, and it doesn’t end with Catherine and Sara, either.  Everyone from the coroners on up take jabs at Grissom’s people skills.  In “Friends & Lovers” (01x05), for example, Dr. Jenna Williams calls him “Gruesome Grissom” and expresses surprise that the “tin man” (her words) has a heart.  In “Bang Bang” (06x23), Doc Robbins’s question about whether Grissom has “ever been close to getting married” also impugns Grissom’s people skills.

Sara teases Grissom about not liking people in “You’ve Got Male” (02x12).  She’s being playful, flirty even, but it’s plain from his expression that it hurts him.  (William Petersen, you are a delight!)  By “Burden of Proof” (02x15), though, she’s seriously angry, claiming he doesn’t respect her, while he hadn’t even been aware there was a problem.  Catherine provides some constructive criticism at the end of the episode, but it’s still implicitly criticism.

I’m not blaming Sara here.  I love both the lovely science nerds, roughly equally.  (I love them most as the matched set.)  But they each underestimate the other’s anxiety and doubts regarding their worthiness for love.  So she’s aiming for playful or flirty in “You’ve Got Male” (02x12), but she doesn’t get that her words are having an effect opposite to the one she would desire; she’s making a romantic relationship between her and Grissom even more unlikely, as she’s reinforcing his belief that he’s not good enough for her.

(I don’t think Sara makes these comments in an attempt at misdirection.  She just loves him so much and esteems him so highly that she assumes her affection for him can’t be questioned and she can’t comprehend how poorly he thinks of himself in many respects.)

The jibes continue through early season three:

Grissom’s “favourite CSI,” Warrick, expresses surprise that Grissom “sat at a table with actual living beings” (“Revenge Is Best Served Cold,” 03x01).

Catherine tells him that, if good fences make good neighbours (as he says), then he’d “make a great neighbour” (“High and Low,” 03x10).

Okay, that’s about where I am in my rewatch right now (again, as of March 2023), and I’m not about to do a methodical accounting of every time someone in the series insults Grissom’s people skills over the course of almost nine seasons.

Of course, I’m not going to do a methodical accounting of all the times Grissom is good with people, either, but I just watched “Blood Lust” (03x09), and I have to note a couple:

In “Gentle, Gentle” (01x19), Grissom uses an out-of-character (in other words, season one) outburst to get his DNA moved to the front of Greg’s queue.  In contrast, in “Blood Lust” (03x09), he gets his evidence moved to the top of the pile by—unlike everyone else—showing respect for Greg as master of the DNA lab.

In “Burden of Proof” (02x15), Grissom tells Sara that “the lab” needs her, and she’s not impressed.  Meanwhile, in “Blood Lust” (03x09), he finally manages to tell her what she wants to hear—“I need you”—and he can’t help but win her over; he completely charms her, and she can’t stop smiling at him the whole episode.

Each of Grissom’s team members loves him in their own way, so they’re not generally trying to be cruel or callous, but I suspect they underestimate the effect their words have on him.

Sara, who loves Grissom the most, continues her teasing of him even when they’re dating (and likely living together).  In “Toe Tags” (07x03), she tells him she’d heard he was “a little dull as a speaker” back before she met him at the AAFS conference in San Francisco.  In “Happenstance” (07x08), she implies he’s a misanthrope.

Sara’s teasing comes from a place of affection, and at that point she probably assumes any negative vibes are cancelled out by the fact that they are going home for nightly sexy good times, but I suspect her words still have more (negative) effect on him than she realizes.

Still, I think the comments from the early seasons (especially the first), have the most effect.  The first season sees a lot of disruption in Grissom’s life.  He’s suddenly thrust into a new position (although how exactly the various roles work is, as it always will be, somewhat ambiguous), a position with more authority, a position requiring more people skills than he likely wants to exercise.  He must retain some general sense of guilt for the fact that the team didn’t pay enough attention to poor Holly Gribbs.  He’s also starting to develop problems with his hearing (although I can’t recall which episode first raises them), which he sees as threatening the stable and comfortable life he’s built for himself.

Most significantly, for the first time, he has this beautiful young woman (this woman he loves, whether he’s acknowledged that to himself yet or not) in front of him, day in and day out.  However close they may have been before her move to Vegas (and I’m sure we each have our own different theories on that), I suspect—and I think “Sex, Lies, and Larvae” (01x10) confirms—he has not previously been witness to the full range of emotions and peculiarities of our absolute BAMF, Sara Sidle.  In short encounters and at a distance, Sara and Grissom were undoubtedly both able to present portraits of themselves that concealed some of their rougher edges.

Of course, the fact that, outside the world of the show, the writers and William Petersen were still working on developing the character we would come to know and to love contributes to the ultimate sense that this is a man in a time of transition.

So, in the end, is it any surprise that Grissom winds up believing he’d never be good enough for the best person he knows, that she wouldn’t want him in the long term, that he could never truly make her happy?  Honestly, no, not really—not at all, I’d say.  And he carries this belief with him throughout the original series—through his angst with Sara, through his romantic relationship with Sara, always.

Even at the pinnacle of his character development in the ninth season, when he’s standing there in the rain forest looking at her, Grissom still seems initially uncertain about whether Sara will want him.

Grissom carries this with him to the unseen events of season 13.  He ends up the de facto bad guy in that situation.  Even though he originally gives up his whole life for Sara and she leaves him alone in Paris to come back to Vegas (if you want to put the spin on it that I imagine our Gilbert does when he’s at his worst), he ends up seeming like the one who left.  He is offscreen, whereas Sara is onscreen with us in Vegas, visibly heartbroken.

Obviously this stems from who was and wasn’t on the show at this point, which is what dictated these—admittedly ridiculous, because why would they have spent seven years recycling each other’s air only to go their separate ways for years almost immediately upon getting married—events.

But, if you actually think about what Grissom would be feeling at this time, it’s devastating, because he, like Sara, would be absolutely heartbroken.  I believe that, however much he breaks Sara’s heart throughout the course of the series, he must break his own just as much.  (I have a chapter on that, too!)  But, whereas both Sara and Grissom try to suppress their emotions, Sara (despite all her “I’m fine” statements—the lady doth protest too much) more commonly wears hers.

Grissom is so convinced he’s failed Sara—that he just isn’t good enough to make her happy—that he literally sends himself out to sea in penance.  You can’t tell me that he isn’t enduring a pretty miserable existence at this point.  It’s enough to break my heart, too.

This is (in part) why I love so much what we got to see of them in CSI: Vegas.  When Grissom jokes about Sara liking silver fox Robert Gomez “as a suspect, I hope” (“Under the Skin,” CSI: Vegas, 1x03) or she implies he’s mellowed (“Signed, Sealed, Delivered,” CSI: Vegas, 1x10), there’s no longer any real insecurity or self-doubt on his side (or hers, for that matter).  By CSI: Vegas, finally, he knows he makes her happy.  He knows he can make her laugh and make her smile.  On her side, he does make her happy.  He does make her laugh and make her smile.  And making her happy is what makes him happy.  They’re both happy.

Grissom doesn’t really care about anything else.  He doesn’t (in my opinion) really care about preserving their legacy.  He cares about Sara and doing what will make her happy, so he can go back to living his best life with her somewhere on a boat out in the Pacific (or, as it turns out, the Arctic).

This former misanthrope is, among other things, still eye f***ing his beloved when she shows up in a robe, talking about how she’s his only teammate (aside from doubt), being affectionate with her in public, singing to her, flirting with her, telling her how magical she is, holding her hand and massaging her shoulders in the lab, searching through goo for her wedding ring, and kissing her on a roller coaster—all the while still being very respectful of her and appreciative of her awesomeness.  (I’m censoring this post because I’m still not sure what exactly makes Tumblr break my tags.)

Meanwhile she is still making heart eyes at him at every turn and assuring him she’ll never go away, plotting to seduce him, going over the moon when he finds her wedding ring, and otherwise generally participating in all the above activities.

They are exactly who I would want them to be in their happily-ever-after.  They are mystical, luminescent sea creatures.  I just love that they are so happy.

Of course, that’s just my viewpoint; yours may differ!  (I may very well be writing nonsense, in which case: please, carry on!)

[richincolor]

K. Imani's 2023 Favorite Books

This was such a great year for books! My TBR pile never once came close to empty and I always had a plethora of choices to choose from. I had a hard choice trying to decide what my top favs would be but ultimately decided on books that I know I would love to read again and again. All of these books were stories I couldn't put down and sacrificed sleep over - all extremely well worth it!

That Self-Same Metal (Forge & Fracture Sage #1) by Brittany N. Williams

Sixteen-year-old Joan Sands is a gifted craftswoman who creates and upkeeps the stage blades for William Shakespeare’s acting company, The King’s Men. Joan’s skill with her blades comes from a magical ability to control metal—an ability gifted by her Head Orisha, Ogun. Because her whole family is Orisha-blessed, the Sands family have always kept tabs on the Fae presence in London. Usually that doesn’t involve much except noting the faint glow around a Fae’s body as they try to blend in with London society, but lately, there has been an uptick in brutal Fae attacks. After Joan wounds a powerful Fae and saves the son of a cruel Lord, she is drawn into political intrigue in the human and Fae worlds.

Queen Bee by Amalie Howard

Lady Ela Dalvi knows the exact moment her life was forever changed—when her best friend, Poppy, betrayed her without qualm over a boy, the son of a duke. She was sent away in disgrace, her reputation ruined. Nearly three years later, eighteen-year-old Ela is consumed with bitterness and a desire for . . . revenge. Her enemy is quickly joining the crème de la crème of high society while she withers away in the English countryside. With an audacious plan to get even, Ela disguises herself as a mysterious heiress and infiltrates London’s elite. But when Ela reunites with the only boy she’s ever loved, she begins to question whether vengeance is still her greatest desire.

Their Vicious Games by Joelle Wellington A Black teen desperate to regain her Ivy League acceptance enters an elite competition only to discover the stakes aren’t just high, they’re deadly, in this searing thriller that’s Ace of Spades meets Squid Game with a sprinkling of The Bachelor. You must work twice as hard to get half as much. Adina Walker has known this the entire time she’s been on scholarship at the prestigious Edgewater Academy—a school for the rich (and mostly white) upper class of New England. It’s why she works so hard to be perfect and above reproach, no matter what she must force beneath the surface. Even one slip can cost you everything. And it does. One fight, one moment of lost control, leaves Adina blacklisted from her top choice Ivy League college and any other. Her only chance to regain the future she’s sacrificed everything for is the Finish, a high-stakes contest sponsored by Edgewater’s founding family in which twelve young, ambitious women with exceptional promise are selected to compete in three mysterious events: the Ride, the Raid, and the Royale. The winner will be granted entry into the fold of the Remington family, whose wealth and power can open any door. But when she arrives at the Finish, Adina quickly gets the feeling that something isn’t quite right with both the Remingtons and her competition, and soon it becomes clear that this larger-than-life prize can only come at an even greater cost. Because the Finish’s stakes aren’t just make or break… they’re life and death. Adina knows the deck is stacked against her—it always has been—so maybe the only way to survive their vicious games is for her to change the rules.

The Song of Wrath (Bones of Ruin #2) by Sarah Raughley

Iris Marlow can’t die. For years, she was tormented by her missing memories and desperate to learn her real identity. So when the mysterious Adam Temple offered to reveal the truth of who she was in exchange for her joining his team in the Tournament of Freaks, a gruesome magical competition, it was an offer she couldn’t refuse. But the truth would have been better left buried. Because Adam is a member of the Enlightenment Committee, an elite secret society built upon one fundamental idea: that the apocalypse known as Hiva had destroyed the world before and would do it again, and soon. But what the Committee—and Iris—never guessed is that Hiva is not an event. Hiva is a person—Iris. Now, no matter how hard Iris fights for a normal life, the newly awakened power inside her keeps drawing her toward the path of global annihilation. Adam, perversely obsessed with Iris, will stop at nothing to force her to unlock her true potential, while a terrifying newcomer with ties to Hiva’s past is on the hunt for Iris. All Iris wants is the freedom to choose her own future, but the cost might be everything Iris holds dear—including the world itself.

[lokis-tardis-companion19]

Lindsey’s Books of the Month (January 2025)

Trying this to track what I read in a month and talk about the books I read!

I will not be doing a star rating system here. That’s for Goodreads.

Fourth Wing, Iron Flame, Onyx Storm by Rebecca Yarros

Yes, I did read the entire Empyrean series (as it currently stands) within the month of January. Technically I started Fourth Wing (a present) on Christmas Day 2024, but with the stomach bug that ravaged my family/our Christmas break, it barely counts as a real start. But once I really started, I could not stop. By the time the 21st rolled around, my daughters knew how much I loved them and told everyone in line at Target “we’re here to get Mommy the Dragon Book.”

I have fallen so completely into this series. Violet is one of my favorite main characters—the way her anger is celebrated by those closest to her has honestly been healing for me. A lot of her struggles with her limitations/the spoilery things she is going through in Onyx Storm made me feel so SEEN (spouse of someone with a chronic illness, hi) and every character in here is fantastic.

And yeah, the dragons don’t hurt either.

Rebecca Yarros you are SO good and I hope your break is restorative for you (and passes quickly for the rest of us).

Stay Sexy and Don’t Get Murdered: The Definitive How-To Guide by Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark

Karen and Georgia from MFM wrote a book awhile back and it was my winter True Crime Sauna Time book. Funny, insightful, and honestly a book early-20s Lindsey could have used. Highly recommend whether you are a Murderino or not.

Why Raeliana Ended Up at the Duke’s Mansion, vol. 1-3

These were a Christmas gift from my husband because the anime remains horribly, infuriatingly unfinished (they say they will, but I am not patient).

As Jill Bearup would say, the plot, it goeth thusly:

A young woman is pushed off a building and wakes up in the world and body of a character from her favorite novel. The only problem? She is now Raeliana MacMillan, whose murder spurs the main character of the novel, Beatrice, to solve the crime and avenge her dearest friend. Determined not to die again, Raeliana forges her own destiny and uses her knowledge of the novel to stay alive, including blackmailing the original novel’s MMC, Duke Noah Wynnight, into becoming her new fiancé so she can escape her original murderer. But Beatrice never shows up and Noah doesn’t seem so keen to call off their charade, even after her murderous original betrothed is caught.

It was a nice read between the high stakes of the Empyrean series because it has some of my favorite things: fake engagement of convenience to lovers (at least I hope so, they better not be teasing me), isekai but make it Period Romance (including the costumes!), and a heroine who is super smart. Will be getting the rest of the volumes, highly recommend.

The Grandmother Plot by Caroline B Cooney

This was a completely random read on Libby; the author is well-known for her Milk Carton series but I knew her better for Goddess of Yesterday (a junior high read I still think of often today). So I was scrolling through her Goodreads and found this.

An elderly woman in a dementia care center dies of a smothering, threatening the secrets of our two main narrators and many others in a small Connecticut town.

The characters here all have such depth and variation, and BITE. The descriptions of dementia and what it’s like to live with a loved one whose own mind is slipping away from them? Unflinching and heartbreaking. It was a dark comfort to me, the daughter of an 82-year-old man who has watched her father’s verve slip away after a series of strokes 6 years ago.

Love and Other Conspiracies by Mallory Marlowe

From dark comfort to just plain comfort. This book is like the rom com equivalent of…like imagine Ryan and Shane from Buzzfeed Unsolved were a hetero couple.

Hallie as a character is able to find her voice and confidence with Noah. They support each other and see the best in each other so beautifully. It is a heartwarming book, both in terms of the romance and Noah’s DELICIOUS verbal takedowns of Hallie’s abusive ex.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl

This I read aloud to my daughters over several nights in January. It was delightful to watch them fall in love with it, as I did at my eldest’s age.

James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl

This was actually my first Roald Dahl, so it felt like an appropriate follow up for bedtime reading. And I do not think it gets enough love.

The Appeal by Janice Hallett

This is a novel told entirely through correspondence, including emails and texts.

A local theater group is wrought with strife when the toddler daughter of a leading player is diagnosed with a brain tumor. They pull together to raise funds, but all is not as it (or they) appear. And someone is going to end up dead by opening night.

If you enjoy Agatha Christie, you will love this book. If you like any kind of good mystery, give it a go!

Five Little Pigs by Agatha Christie

My January book for the Read Christie 2025 challenge. I have always loved the David Suchet version and am delighted to be delving into the book at last.

Sixteen years after Caroline Crale died convicted of the murder of her husband, their daughter comes to Hercule Poirot. She requests that he solve the murder and prove, as her mother attested in a letter, that Caroline Crale was innocent.

I will be finishing this book in February but I am loving it so far! (The David Suchet episode is excellent btw)

LOOKING AHEAD: February 2025

I plan to stay on the Read Christie train with The 13 Problems, which is a classic collection of Miss Marple stories. Might just read my entire Miss Marple short story collection.

Husband got me Assistant to the Villain for Christmas, so that’ll be on the docket for sure.

Spy x Family volume 13 is out, which will be a lovely, quick read.

I will also be getting back into True Crime Sauna Time and starting The Devil in the White City (finally). Apparently DiCaprio and Scorsese are reviving the movie project, so I want to have that read before the movie comes out.

HOWEVER, Kate Winkler Dawson recently released The Sinners All Bow: Two Authors, One Murder, and the Real Hester Prynne.

Historical True Crime? Check. A Victorian-era true crime authoress being the first to investigate the case? A Scarlet Letter connection? I am the target audience.

I am also going to try Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator, as my oldest asked about a sequel at the end of Chocolate Factory. I will be doing the audiobook on my own. If I think the girls will like it, then I’ll either check out the book or just finally buy a Roald Dahl set.

Everything else is up in the air!

[aruanimess]

As a armin arlert lover, thoughts on floch?

Hi, Anon!

It took me like a full five minutes to understand why the question was phrased like this. Like Floch has done so much since that ceremony scene, I forgot he had said all these horrible things to Armin.

This got long so I'm putting it under the cut.

Frankly, I think he's a good character, not in moral terms, but in the sense that he fulfills the role of the antagonist quite nicely. I obviously don't like him as a person, but I understand his function within the story, and I think his arc was fairly well-executed (unlike other antagonists like Yelena imho).

Isayama is in this continual conversation with the ideals of authoritarian states and what can make them appealing to vulnerable individuals that I find very interesting. And this is perfectly captured in the character of Floch. Not only because of his past trauma and survivor's guilt, which absolutely make him the perfect candidate for radicalization, but also because he wasn't the most moral of guys to begin with.

Floch joins the Survey Corps at what is arguably their all time high point. For the first time in a hundred years, they've got a series of relative wins: Eren's Titan, capturing Annie, figuring out who the infiltrators were, finding out the truth about their world, deposing the king etc. Morale is at its peak. So inevitably we meet a series of characters who join in because they believe in the propaganda and, sure, may have a renewed conviction for the actual cause, but still don't get what the job entails. I mean, look at this (not so) sweet summer child:

And the thing is: this is not a bad thing in and of itself. After all, we see Marlow do the same. But unlike Marlow, who was a guy that cared about his fellow man and was generally very anti-corruption from the start and competent to boot, Floch has an inferiority complex the size of Paradis. This is literally how he gets reintroduced to the story (I don't remember if he was seen earlier, but even if he was this is his first substantial appearance):

(please ignore Jean's majestic jawline and focus on the speech bubbles)

He's practically screaming "Jean, Jean, validate my existence, please!!"

So we know he is a guy with low self-esteem, who is also not particularly concerned with ethics outside of some juvenile idea of "winning," on top of that you add a horrific traumatic event and... well, Erwin.

Erwin is a character who uses unsavory means to inspire others to fight for him. Yes, he ultimately has an honorable purpose in mind, but he is also exploiting the very same weaknesses in people's characters to serve his ends. He is a demagogue and the story is not shy in telling you about it. (I'm too lazy to cite my sources, but, like, the first time we really see him, he creates tension to manipulate the result of a trial, so...).

(nvm I found some while looking for something else)

Floch is actually the character who expresses doubt when he is faced with Erwin's final order:

And how Erwin convinces him?

"That's absolutely right. It doesn't make a single difference. No matter what dreams or hopes you may have, no matter what blissful life you've lived until now, what happens when your body gets crushed by a rock is the same. Everyone dies sooner or later. Does that mean all life is meaningless? Was the fact that you were ever born meaningless from the start? Would you say the same of your dead comrades? Were those soldiers' lives meaningless?

No, they weren't! And our fight gives meaning to those soldiers' lives! Those brave fallen men and women! Those poor fallen men and women! The only ones who can remember them are us the living! So we will die here and trust the meaning of our lives to the next generation!"

Like, the man went all out! The "everyone is a hero" and the cult of death is literally one of the points Uberto Eco brings up in his essay Ur-Fascism. I'm not saying Erwin is necessarily a fascist, but he needed to convince these soldiers to die ASAP so he used the fastest route possible: fascist rhetoric.

And then he went and committed to the bit!! He actually sacrificed himself and everyone around him and the plan worked!!!

So now a weak-minded, traumatized Floch has been presented with the ULTIMATE piece of propaganda, what is he meant to do?? Not believe it? And accept that he went through all this for nothing? Please!

I can absolutely see how a guy like Floch would end up the way he did, and that's why I think he is an interesting character and a compelling antagonist.

[mysimsyuri]

ok im just putting this here cuz its Technically lore for my self.ship au but it doesnt. revolve around my si. i just had a Very vivid image while high the other day and i need to get the lore Out of my head lest i explode and die

ok so listen to me listen hear me out cmere listennnn: sha.wn spe.ncer dysphoria.

ive Mentioned that i hc him as nb but i think he only realizes in canon like,, after the show maybe . HOWEVER videos prescence definitely changes a Lot including shawns gender >:]c

so in my au shawn tells jules he isnt psychic a Lot sooner so what happens in deez nups (thanks episode titles) goes Very differently ! mainly in that there isnt rlly,, a fight ?

like ok. the entire time shawn is a Bachelor hes at a Bachelors Party and hes a Guy and hes wearing a suit that feels like its choking him and his dad is having a talk with him about being a Spencer Man and not continuing the cycle. the entire day shawns been having this,,, feeling that Wont go away and all of this only serves to make him feel worse.

so he chugs the prosecco and comes back to jules, and just sits there kinda miserable while she talks. she notices theres smth not right w him and tries her best to pry it out of him, but he just. cant. she goes on abt how if he rlly doesnt wanna tell her he doesnt have to, but that she Does love him and he can always come to her for anything. things have been changing a lot recently, what with marlowe and lassie and rachael and gus, but she assures him that they all still love him, and that hell always be their boyfriend-

shawn breaks at that and as jules tries to figure out what she said that went wrong, shawn tells her that gus will want to dance w her, and he leaves the party early.

then in right turn or left for dead shawn kinda,, avoids jules.

(shawn knows by this point that shes trans. theyve known video for years and while vids made a couple jokes abt shawn being nonbinary (mostly spurred on by shawn saying out of pocket things abt gender) they never like,, made her feel like she had to be anything. shawn appreciates it but now she wishes shed asked for help because oh god,,, she wants to get to know herself better and actually feel comfortable in her own skin but she is Terrified that jules and lassie and gus are going to leave her. shes known gus her whole life and the change might be the straw that broke the camels back, lassie is. well. lassie, and jules... shawn wants to Marry jules, as much as That thought scares her. shes sure shes the one and the idea of her leaving Hurts.)

so shawns out here concussed, dysphoric as all hell, covered in blood, and preemptively heartbroken. havin a time!

they dream of a scenario where the night had gone differently, where theyd told jules and shed been incredibly supportive. the girl is dead, sure, but hey, shawn can be nonbinary!

jules, on the other hand, is trying to talk to shawn but they keep avoiding her and she doesnt know why. she thinks they might want to break up with her, which hurts like hell, but if thats what they want, who is she to stop them? if only theyd Tell her.

so after the case is solved and jules saves shawn, she all but Drags them home to actually talk.

jules just straight up tells them: shawn, if you want to break up with me, do it. its okay.

and shawn just,,, breaks down Sobbing. they tell her Everything, how scared they are of losing her and how Awful theyve been feeling and aaagh. they say that they go aaagh

but jules scoops them up in her arms and assures them she wont leave them,, she loves them sososo much gender and all :'] <3

aaaurgh they make me happy. i hate how seasons 7 did them (NOT THAT I HATED THE BREAKUP IT WAS SOOOO GOOD BUT LIKE. i hated how shawn acted afterward,, season 6 and onward has Not been it for characterizations at all i fucking hate it)

ok gush sesh over more lore: idk how the rest of the episodes breakup era would go considering theyre together in my au but erm,, w jules and videos help (she comes out to vid next whos like "i knew,, but im proud of you ily") shawn comes out to everyone else and tries out new pronouns and expressions and a teehee :]] theyre all so happy and trans and gay and its great

[piss-wizard-ao3]

dndads s2ep45 spoilers

re: that one quote that absolutely emotionally obliterated a decent chunk of the fandom

alright fuckin bear with me i have some Thoughts and Feelings about particularly how the Close-Foster-Swifts deal with a) parenting and b) intergenerational trauma Anthony: 'As you're saying this, without even wanting it to, tears are rolling down your cheeks. And in that moment, you, and Taylor, and Nick all realise... That there is no fixing this. That this is as good as it's going to get. That you are stuck with each other in the forms that you are now.' this fucking DESTROYED ME and, from what i can tell, a lot of other people in the fandom also. i think this brings up some really important points that resonate w/ me personally about intergenerational trauma, and that are super important to talk about like with the wilsons and the oaks, they manage to (in varying degrees) realise what they did wrong, or what they could do better, and actively try to do better. they actively try to go out of their way to fix things, which is great! breaking that cycle is important, and it takes a while, but they're trying. with the stamplers (+ marlowes), specifically ron and terry jr, they do the 'acknowledging i havent been good enough' to 'trying my best to be what you deserve' pipeline and its Beautiful. and we get a little of that with terry jr and scary too, with terry jr just trying to do his best and scary slowly coming around to realise that she does, actually, care about her stepdad. and its so wholesome and good. it really pays homage to the ron and terry jr relationship i feel, where they end up before he died (F). BUT THE CLOSE/FOSTER/SWIFT FAMILY. i fucking. it hurts. but its the one that hits the closest to home. 'This is as good as it's going to get' fucking resonated with me. im sure it resonated with a lot of people. intergenerational trauma and the effects it has on people is such a core theme of dndads, and the way its handled so differently through each family line is honestly artful. but an important part of the story of intergenerational trauma is when it's not something that you can fix, or go back and apologise for, or something that you can become better from. sometimes trauma just is. sometimes you can't recover from it. families will break up, lineages will die out, stories and lives will be forgotten. and as tragic as that is, as much as it hurts, it's so real. in a way, its a double-edged sword that they all still talk to each-other, that they still cling to what they have, what they wanted to have. especially in the case of Taylor, who does spend a lot of the series with questions about his dad but ultimately thinking he's pretty neat, to then break down to wishing there was time travel so Nicky could be there for him, so they could re-do childhood. i just. screams. thats such a pivotal moment for him. to finally come to terms with and admit the fact that no, things aren't okay, this isn't what he wanted, and if given the chance he would go back and fix them himself. that his father, and his father's father, have failed to do it, and now it falls upon his shoulders. (this also resonates very well with the whole 'our parents unleashed the doodler and both our grandparents and parents failed to fix it so now that's our burden to bear') i wonder if we'll ever get to know if the teens from this series go on to have families. if Lincoln ever introduces his children to grandpa Grant, or if Normal ever feels, well. normal enough to even consider the possibility of raising kids. if Scary ever takes her children to visit Terry Jr's grave, or tells them about his exploits, or recounts to them the things he did for her before she grew to appreciate him. i wonder if Taylor will ever even consider the concept of having a family, upon looking back like this at his own, upon knowing first-hand the stakes if he gets it wrong. would he think that he can break the cycle? that he could be better? or is it, truly, as good as it's going to get?

[exiled-eyes]

Cecco couldn't help but chuckle inwardly as they imagined the scene unfolding from a distant vantage point – the moon casting its silvery glow upon the churning waves, the dark silhouette of the rowboat bobbing precariously against the backdrop of the night sky. From the shore, or the deck of the Jolly Roger, it must have looked like a death sentence, a daring gamble against insurmountable odds. After all, these were Pan's waters, the merfolk were just more tools under the bambino demone's blood stained thumbs. To venture into these depths was to court disaster, to tempt fate in the most reckless of ways. And yet, for Cecco and their ilk, it was just another day in the life.

To be called a pirate in Neverland was to be forever pitted against the entire island, a constant target for the whims of fate and the machinations of those who sought to control its destiny. Decorated with signs illegibly written, the shores of Neverland mocked them, taunting them with their own folly and foolishness. Pirates were branded as fools, condemned to a life of perpetual struggle and strife. And yet, despite the odds stacked against them, they persisted, their defiance a testament to the indomitable spirit of the human heart.

They couldn't even strike at one soul on the island without being the cause of a new war. A cruel thing it was, to be called a pirate and yet forced to live like some common sailor in a blasphemous naval force. More rules than they could count and far more repercussions to be thought of before each and every action. What should have been a carefree life, what once was a carefree life to pillage, murder and maim as they so desired, had become a twisted strategic game that held no room for intermissions.

As the otherworldly man came to rest more of his arm against the side of the rowboat, one of Cecco's hands came to rest lazily by their boot, calloused fingertips grazing the cool leather texture of their knife. Not a threat, nor a warning, simply an instinct. The other, disfigured hand rested on the oar by their side, should it be needed, it could prove a useful tool in putting some distance between the two.

"Ah, I have not come for any sort of snack- though, it seems the same cannot be said for you, bello." Cecco quipped, their voice dripping with sarcasm as they met Marlowe's gaze with a playful glint in their eye. It was a dangerous game they played, this dance of words and wits on the unforgiving sea, but Cecco wouldn't have it any other way. For in the heart of Neverland, where danger lurked around every corner and secrets lay buried beneath the surface, there was a certain thrill in flirting with danger (quite literally).

"Would you believe me if I said I was looking to see something beautiful in the moonlight?" Arching a brow, hazelnut hues slowly trailed over the details of Marlowe's arm. From the muscle that formed as he held himself up, down to the pointed claws that they could almost feel upon their skin. "And here you are-"

[boldlyhappydreamland]

𝐂𝐇𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐏𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐄.

I will always be so thankful to have learnt about you in my life. You’re strength. You’re bravery. You’re poetry. I mean you make me feel like mark shaer. I will always be inspired by the mysterious human you were. And each and every day that passes I think of you. Who you truly where. If this is you. If it’s not.. you gave me a new perspective of the way the world works and humans in it. I hope you know.. that you truly mattered and still matter to this very day. That your work was certainly never forgotten.. I have found so many people. Connected through Jamie that were inspired by you. And was extremely invested in the mystery which is Christopher Marlowe. It saddens me that a great human like him isn’t immortal. But his work sure will be. And that’s what makes me sleep better at night. Years ago. I would cry a lot. I felt a great sadness. Lonely. I had this sense of calming. And you came to mind. I hope you are out there somewhere. I hope you know you saved lives. By keeping it real. I hope you know your birth, your life, your death. Played a huge deal in literature history. Forever known as the great master Marlowe. I love you. I hope there’s some sort of place for a beautiful vessel like you to find refuge. I hope you are in love. I pray to the universe itself. That you are somewhere. Hell that anyone ever great and impactful as you. Is somewhere. Maybe I’m holding on hope. But I hope death itself would bring me to you in some way. To express everything that I truly want to say to you. To the soul that was you. And if even if there’s nothing out there after we die.. I hope the world never forgets to shine light into your life. To always read into you. Because you. By far. Deserve that. At the very least. Kit Marlowe. I love you so very much.

[teosartcorner]

By The Window

»"Aaand of course I find him smoking in the damned armchair again.”

"For fuck's sake." Mumbling under his breath, Hubert closed his eyes.

Behind him, the sound of his friend's footsteps were slightly fading, but – to Hubert’s ever growing irritation – his voice was far from being silent.

"By the time you'll die from all those smokes, mate…" the man kept babbling from the other room, "...this bloody flat will still be reeking of their smell!"

"Oh, shut up, the window's open!" Hubert yelled back, the cigarette hanging lazily in the corner of his mouth. On the sill of the window, inside a brown, worn-out ashtray, a pile of cigarette butts had started to take shape. "I swear you're more nagging than my mum, and she's a fucking hag!" He added.«

— Volume I, Part 2 —

Hubert used to be a heavy smoker back in his younger years. At the time this particular scene takes place, in the early ‘50s, he was on his own, still figuring his life out. He and Dorothy were in complicated “I-don’t-like-you-let’s-spend-time-together” territory. He was renting a shitty (yet affordable) flat with a good friend, somewhere in Leeds. This friend, although not at all a stranger to smoking, would never miss the opportunity to joke about the topic, especially because Hubert was quite predictable with his habit – he’d always sit in that one armchair, by the window, usually in a bathrobe, smoking his lungs out whenever he wanted a moment of peace. 😂

He never quit smoking, but over the years, he started doing it significantly less. And of course, this “legacy” could not go unpassed, because one day, somewhere in the late ‘60s, Hubert will accidentally catch his daughter (a quite young Delicia at the time) smoking with some school mates, and he’ll have his first true “well, shit” parent moment. 😂

(© Hubert Barnett/Marlowe is my original character. He is part of a storytelling project me and @eve-to-adam are working on)