#(Here comes the guilt)

[aashiqeddiediaz]

you know what boils my blood.

over the last 2 weeks, i've seen countless patients walk into my urgent care center, symptomatic for so many things, refusing to get tested for covid and flu, citing that they don't want to knowingly bring it to their holiday tables. i had a patient tell me, verbatim, "i don't want to test for covid, because i don't want to be the asshole who brings it on a plane."

i understand that - i understand that holidays are times where people look forward to meeting loved ones that they might only see once a year, or where they get a break from the hectic back and forth of their lives.

but here's the thing - whether they get tested or not, they will bring whatever they have to their holiday tables. it's pure recklessness to know that you're sick, and walk into someone else's house spreading the disease.

today, january 2, i saw 91 patients, many of them who have tested positive for covid and flu. many of these patients are the same ones who didn't want testing 3 days ago, until their events were over, and now, they will have to reach out to everyone they know to let them know that they were positive because they were showing symptoms well before their event.

the next week or two? we're going to see many, many more, all people with symptoms that started around christmas. these are the only two viruses we test for rapidly in our office, but they are potent and can be fatal in many people.

so here's why i wrote this post, and maybe it's a little late, but - if you care about your loved ones, please get tested if you know you're sick. it doesn't have to be at a clinic if you don't want it to, because the over-the-counter tests work just fine too (if you test within 5-7 days of symptom onset). just...please don't try to run from the knowledge that you might have covid, because immunocompromised people, elderly people, people with co-morbidities like asthma, pregnancy, diabetes, etc...many of them may not recover. and they may not be sitting at your holiday table in the future because of it.

[fairsweetlonging]

imagine if after the transmigration shen qingqiu became a combination of shen yuan and shen jiu, not in a "second person living in my head" kind of way, but a "this house is haunted and carries the echoes of the dead" kind of way; imagine shen yuan having nightmares about a house, a fire, a faceless boy behind a door he can't remember; imagine him having flashes of emotions he doesn't understand, rage at a name he doesn't recognize, helplessness when yue qingyuan apologizes for something he won't mention, nausea when ning yingying says the name "a-luo"; imagine parts of his own self have changed too, how he now likes bows in his hair, pretty flowers and flowing robes, but can no longer stand a stranger's touch, a man's touch, yet he longs for the brothels, but never sexually, only fondly, like there's something there he misses. there are many empty spaces in his heart where he feels something is missing

[airbus-a350]

maybe mean post but i have been seeing such a direct correlation between artists who throw themselves into monthly challenges and frustrated posts about burnout.. ppl are like 'im going to draw a detailed illustration every single day this month" in week one and week three has them apologising for falling behind and taking a break from social media etc.. we literally need to kill the inktober industry and all its spinoffs

edit: this is just to say that i feel people have missed my point because i didn't expect this to get notes. to clarify: you ppl aren't professional artists. i'm not a professional artist. the hobbyist and professional spaces have been enfolded into one another as a result of social media and the pressure this puts on hobbyists to pump out pro volumes of work has turned into a burnout machine. stop holding yourselves to ridiculous standards. if you're a hobbyist, and you very likely are if you're reading this, there's nothing in the world so urgent and important on social media that it needs you churning out art you don't enjoy for. ok. forcing yourself to be creative will murder any motivation you had to finish a piece or a so-called challenge. just stop. put the pen down, if it's not your job and it's not fun why the hell put yourself through that? draw an oc standing in 3/4 view on a void white background instead, i give you permission to do that and be satisfied.

[randomalistic]

Wait you guys are actually buying Disney products I thought it was a joke

(READ TAGS FOR FULL CONTEXT Sorry it’s long dies

[thisischeri]

instagram: cheri.png

[peachyutdr]

i finished it, was kicked out of the game, and then spent the next 10 minutes drawing this. i will now go take a shower, most likely cry, and then go through the emotional turmoil of convincing myself to reset so i can do a geno run. i hate it here :D

[serpentface]

Scenes from The Baby Wars Part One: The First One

[Hibrides never wanted to be a mother (though the concept of childbearing has always occurred to her as 'inevitable and necessary'), underwent very severe post-partum depression, never really bonded with the infant, and was extremely uncomfortable with nursing her (they had a wet nurse who covered most of it).

Brakul ended up being the Designated Housewife throughout Erubi's infancy and was effectively the only member of the household providing parental care, was Extremely bitter with Hibrides for not really wanting anything to do with her daughter (among other things), and was raised in a context where fathers allowing their infants to comfort nurse on them is a standard practice (which is not widely conceptualized as a Thing men can do in the Wardi cultural sphere and comes off as bizarre to the rest of his household).

These combined factors lead to tense standoffs where he looms behind Hibrides trying to guilt her into Feeding The GodDamn Baby while looking, from her perspective, like he's trying his absolute hardest to breastfeed.]

[lambmotifz]

sam and dean are not equally abusive. sam doesn’t feel the need to have physical power or control over dean and he’s not possessive to the same extent (he is possessive but it’s not the same as dean’s desperate need to own his brother like he’s his property)

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

You can wash off the makeup, but the mascara still runs.

[First] Prev <—>Next

[msfcatlover]

Oh look. Reverse!Robins.

Bruce: “No murder.”

Damian: “No murder.”

Cass: “No murder.”

Tim: “No murder.”

Jason: “No murder for babies.”

Duke: “No murder until you can write me a researched & cited essay on why it is necessary for the greater good. Five page minimum.”

Dick: “I’m gonna murder.”

Red Hood!Steph: “I LIKE THIS ONE!”

[sky--phantom]

Trespasser! 🫡

btw, pls don't hold the hair clipping against me 😅 this is her hairstyle, and I liked the outfit too much to change it because of the neck.

Also, warning, I ended up rambling at the end 😅

Lavellan when she spots Solas and the Viddasala

I don't know why but this one just seems so funny to me out of context 😂 like, "honey, you know that thing you told me not to do?"

Solas as Lavellan talks about how she discovered he's the Dread Wolf. I don't know how to describe this expression, sad, fond, proud? I think there would be a "Solas approves" here tho 🥲

"What is the old Dalish curse? “May the Dread Wolf take you”?"

"And so he did" (this is the other line that kills me)

They closed their eyes and lowered their heads at the same second during the "I would not have you see what I become". These two angsty mfs

(Though judging by how Solas' bags in DAV + that bit told in the GI article, she wasn’t exactly wrong to say "I cannot bear to think of you alone")

The Anchor flares up

"Solas, var lath vir suledin"

"I wish it could, vhenan."

the kiss 😢

It kills me how he brushes her hair back, and then holds her face. He also holds her hand with his other one.

They both just look so fking wrecked during this kiss.

And then he leaves 😞

now to wait for their next meeting in DAV 🥲

I still can't believe that, besides his visits to her dreams (which I think is probably a whole other post), this is the last time they meet. Pretty sure DAV is 8 years after this.

This was devastating. Both of them are wrecked, this is not what they want, but it's the path Solas has chosen to walk through. It hurts because falling in love with Lavellan is probably one of the few times in a while that Solas has done something just for himself, not for the cause, not for the people, but Solas

("The blame is mine, not yours. It was irresponsible and selfish of me") ("Because I made a selfish mistake. Because you deserve better"),

and he has to break it off. No matter how Lavellan and the other members of the Inquisition have helped him see people as, you know, people, this is a mission he has set for himself, something he believes he has to do, his duty.

(Also, I forgot to mention it during the Crestwood post, but it hurts when he stops saying vhenan and changes to Inquisitor)

So, Solas drags his feet, walking slowly, but still walks away from Lavellan and towards the eluvian. He walks away from the person who fell in love with him when he was just Solas, and walks towards the path where he is Fen'Harel, the god of rebellion who has tried to help his people, even if it doesn't turn out well.

He leaves behind a Lavellan whose heart is breaking for the 3rd time because of the same man, who has to deal with what happens with the Inquisition (mine disbanded with the angry option), and the loss of an arm. Also, you know, dealing with the fact that he is an elven god and wants to destroy the veil.

So, yeah...

Sorry that this got a bit very rambly 😅 I just finished the game a little over 2 weeks ago, and there are a lot of thoughts running around my head.

I'm looking forward to seeing what happens with Solas in DAV, and how the Inquisitor will be integrated into the game as well. (side note, I'm so curious about that, bc they haven't even mentioned if the Inky CC will have the same options as Rook) (I just want to know if there are prosthetics and if they can have body tattoos)

These are more general, just thought they were pretty

[daily-hanamura]

[ririsasy]

Varadha's goofy ass boyfriend.

.

.

(Also it's so funny the way I didn't realize in the first watch the reason that Deva was wearing long sleeve on his left hand the entire time was in fact to cover Varadha's demon seal tattoo and not just to cover his electrocution scars or fashion statement only lmao his goofy ass made that tattoo by himself and then later used it as a brand for Varadha 😭 if this wasn't the kind of devotion at the highest order. He literally offered Varadha his demon persona for him to use as some kind of guardian devil watching over Khansaar bringing fear to all his enemies. Also that's why you shouldn't be tattooing anything on your skin that's related to your lovers when you're drunk in love with someone because when you two became ex-lovers it's too freaking embarrassing to see or show those tattoos to the public eyes lmao)

[hauntinglyghostie]

inseparable. a shadow and its source. life and death. as much as you want to tear away the thought of him, you can't. you stood by him, and his shadow lingers.

also here's this TERRIBLY shitty drawing I made inspired by @denimscotch saying Lysandre needs to "take a chill pill. make slime or something" and @rainbowpufflez encouraged me to actually post it.

[chirpsythismorning]

There isn't much discourse about how Mike went from saying that El was a weapon in s1, even encouraging the others to use El's powers when she was still recuperating after finding Will in the void, to then in s3 accusing the others of being reckless with her powers, saying she's risking her life for no reason.

Now, I want to make clear that I'm not bashing Mike here, this has less to do with what he's doing being right or wrong. What this is about is how Mike went from doing something himself, to calling out other people for doing it, without acknowledging that fact and why the writers chose to frame it all this way.

You might think it's insignificant, but these two following scenes are clearly being paralleled to each other. And so the fact that Mike himself is acknowledging this as something to be critical of, makes me wonder what exactly is going on in his mind...

I want to preface this scene from s1 by saying that Mike is giving very off vibes here. I know that I certainly viewed this scene as romantic the first time I saw it, but since rewatching it recently, I was getting completely different vibes.

They literally make a point to focus on Mike being distracted, on the verge of impatience. Then, the way El reacts upon Mike getting up abruptly, gives this feeling of uncertainty about Mike's consideration for her in this moment, as she's clearly not what's on the top of his mind right now. And it just makes you wonder, are we truly supposed to be feeling peak romance rn?

I never realized how out of place this scene was until now (or is it...). It's just such an odd choice to have El resting her head on Mike's shoulder for comfort, only for Mike to cut it short with him being distracted, and with Dustin and El looking awkwardly at Mike like "Okay?...", then followed by a scene where he's trying to convince the others to use El's powers to help.

Here we have s1 Mike displaying behavior that s3 Mike was calling out the others for displaying:

Here we have Lucas, who was very, very critical of El being dangerous ALL of s1, and yet now in complete contrast to that, he is showing more consideration and common sense for El's well being than Mike, the supposed love (at first sight) interest ...

'That's the most important thing, remember?'

A question, followed by Mike just standing there in silence, like he's only just now really thinking about El being safe as their main priority... This is something that combined with everything else unfolding over the course of this season and the seasons after, that makes Mike's behavior a whole lot easier to understand.

I'll have to make several other posts about this, because there are a lot of aspects to it, but for now I'm just going to focus on these two parallels.

Here we have what happens in s3, with Mike being critical of the others doing something he himself literally did in s1:

In fact, how careless all of you are.

THIS. When Mike makes it a big deal to call out everyone for doing something he himself has already done, he's outright admitting that it's something that he believes is wrong, and by not even slightly acknowledging his role in doing something similar in the past, it's very likely that he feels guilty about it.

This was probably his way of trying to make it right, by standing up for El in a way that he didn't before because he was treating her like some superhero and not a real person back then.

It's just that the word love slipped out, in the heat of the moment. And El, upon overhearing this, is seeing this development of Mike herself, with s1 Mike going from, yes being more kind and considerate than the other 2 boys in the beginning, but still sort of expecting stuff from her without her being able to verbally agree to it, to now having developed and changed to saying that one of his big priorities is her safety.

El is taking this as being evidence he went from not loving her, to loving her. Another reason why it's pretty obvious El didn't believe Mike's monologue, bc she herself witnessed Mike develop his apparent romantic feelings for her over time, and so him saying it was love at first sight, was probably the catalyst that made it abundantly clear to her that he wasn't being truthful, bc she knows it's not the truth. She's not stupid.

Again this isn't about Mike doing this back then or even the others doing it now as being bad vs. good, this is about the writers going about it this way, sending a message that Mike feels guilt, enough to try to make things right, but is apparently not ready to unpack the actual guilt that is beneath the surface which lead him to this point.

And then there's this scene, which... it's actually terrifying how obvious it is they instructed Sadie and Caleb to lean out of that shot with Will and Mike reacting to El entering the room... Like... It's SOO obvious when you watch it now what they're trying to hint at without saying it.

Not only are they hinting at Will's feelings, because that is part of it, they're also hinting at Mike's internal struggle. Will is always on the back of his mind whether he's willing to address it or not. And all while that is happening, he is feeling unaddressed guilt about how he treated El when they first met and spent that one week together helping her run away from the bad guys while also looking for Will, something Mike viewed as being worthy of El using her powers...

I'll have to make the other posts regarding this soon, because it all starts to click what's going on with Mike when you look at all of these things together.

While Mike is just a kid like pretty much everyone else in this story, and while he didn't mean any harm by asking El to help them find Will (none of them did), I think that's kind of the whole point?

I think that he got lucky superman landed on his doorstep, who just so happened to be in danger herself, giving him his own purpose to help her too, with her needing him as well, and so it became a situation where they both needed each other.

But because El could literally not speak, it's not like she could really voice her feelings about things they were doing, beyond yes and no. She had Lucas sort of being critical of her, with Mike encouraging El to do things that would make the others see her as being worthy of sticking around so they can find Will. It goes without saying she felt obligated to do these things, even if they didn't outright tell her she had to or else. We literally see almost all of these scenes with her doing stuff for the others being instantly juxtaposed with scenes of Brenner doing the same. It's not the same scale of severity, but it is an acknowledgment that although she is outside of the lab, she still feels like her powers are what define her and it's all people want from her.

I think what it comes down to, is that in that moment when she is sacrificing herself to the demogorgan at the end of s1, we are seeing in real time Mike realizing what he and the other's have been asking of her this whole time, without outright asking her.

And you can literally see the retaliation and devastation hit him all at once. The instant regret, where he's backtracking and El stops him from even trying.

'Goodbye Mike' singles him out, because while he was the one out of the three that showed her the most kindness from the start, he was also the one who at the end of it all, was still expecting her to risk her life for them...

And that just makes it hit so much harder when you think about how that made Mike feel in that moment.

And then in s2 how that impacts Mike and his journey going forward.

His breakdown at the end of s2 upon her return.

His behavior in s3-4, in relation to him juggling his relationship with Will and El, now that they are both in his life at the same time.

It all starts to make sense.

I won't go too much into it because those other posts are bound to be long with a bunch of pictures too!

But on that note, there's at least one thing Mike isn't acknowledging, and it's literally what led up to the unintentional love confession that then led us to 10 more episodes of miscommunication because of it...

It's going to be important for him to address this guilt for him to fulfill his arc and to also close off his expectations that he has to have a romantic relationship with El in order to keep her in his life at all.

The audience themselves seeing this and being forced to face it is also going to make it a lot easier for them understand why Mike did what he did, not only because he's a queer kid in the 80's who has every reason to doubt and repress, but also because he understandably feels sort of indebted to El after everything.

It's more complex than him just falling out of love with her and falling in love with Will because of XYZ.

I think there is a lot of guilt and shame and trauma connected to their meeting and the events that followed. And addressing that is going to give a lot of closure to the ending of the story and also the beginning.

[miraculouslumination]

The audacity to be like "there's a problem with racism in transandrophobia discussions" while also unironically using the term "transandrophobia truther(s)"