#(Day 10’s a bit late but I’ll get to posting it once college stops trying to kill me.)

[sucker-for-shifters]

For Day 11 of GtWAC:

Reblog a fic that gave you an emotional reaction.

~~~

(I'd say "Wick's End" again, but I've already said that a lot/going to say it again later on, so I'm limiting myself to 3 times. Regardless, READ THE FIC. READ THE COMICS. IT'S AMAZING.)

Anywho, THIS FIC from @miniature-knight. I’m not normally a Fire Emblem fan, but OUGH. This changed my brain chemistry when I read it. Heck, I think this is one of the first things that got me into G/T in the first place!

The portrayal of all of the characters. The lore descriptions done in such a way that even a non-FE fan like myself gets invested. Hell, especially how the relationship between Sylvain and the other characters is portrayed! Old fic be damned, I find myself coming back to this again and again, and each time, I’m hit with that same wave of just raw emotion.

[maria-akira]

how you meet the ahs boys + their reaction while you're having a class - PART 1

—♡—

hey yall im back again 🧍🏻‍♀️ is this what you call a headcanon?? idk BAHAHSHHA. anyways i've had this idea in my mind for a while and i wanted to share it to yall, so i hope you guys like it 😌

these also have a little back story on how you guys meet !!

also, special mention to @tatestripedsweater for helping me give ideas with jimmy's part !! thank you so much mwah 🥺❤

warnings: none! just pure fluff <3

please excuse any errors !

—♡—

~♡ TATE LANGDON:

before the pandemic, you and your family have moved into the murder house.

the house gave your family a very odd vibe, but nonetheless all of you had to bear with it because it was sold for a cheap price.

but when the pandemic arrived the country, you were stuck at home 24/7. thus, classes were online.

you met tate because of your father. tate was one of his patients and the both of you grew close.

"Y/N, what are you doing?"

tate would randomly barge in your room while having a class and you would jump out of shock.

"Jesus, Tate. Stop scaring me like that!"

tate would giggle and lay on your bed, observing the lesson that the teacher rambled about.

while you're writing notes, he would stand up and take a chair from some part of your room and sit beside you.

knowing that tate is clingy, you would warn him not to bug you and behave while you listened in class.

of course, he doesn't listen and he would place his head on your shoulder and eventually would cuddle you.

"Taaate, please let me focus."

luckily, you always keep your camera off.

"Mmm, no. I enjoy bugging you."

~♡ KIT WALKER:

one time, you were driving to school on your own and you were almost running out of gas.

luckily, you saw a gas station nearby and decided to get a fill before heading to school. and there, you met kit.

when you first laid your eyes on kit, you thought that he was the prettiest man ever. you couldn't let this chance slip, thus, you exchanged numbers with him.

you talked all day and night, the both of you were so inlove with each other and you finally decided to introduce him to your parents.

your parents loved him and you were so, so happy.

but when the pandemic came, it affected your relationship with kit.

since all schools and unis were closed down, everything went online.

when kit stayed over, he couldn't spend a lot of time with you because you had to attend classes early in the morning, till afternoon.

"Can you stay in bed with me for a little bit, darling?"

unfortunately, you woke up late that day and you missed 10 minutes of your first class. and just like that, you were stuck to your desk until afternoon.

"Kit baby, I'm sorry. I'm late for my first class. Maybe later, okay?"

as much as kit hated this whole online class thing, he would always find a way to cheer you up.

thus, he would cook you breakfast and bring it over to your room.

"C'mere, I'll feed you while you listen and write down notes."

~♡ KYLE SPENCER (PRE DEATH AND POST DEATH) :

PRE DEATH:

madison, your friend, had bugged you all week to go with her to this college frat party near your house.

you weren't the party type. you loved staying at home, watching netflix or reading some sort of fan fiction on wattpad.

but you hated being single. so, this was your chance to actually get a boyfriend.

when you arrived at the party, you immediately hated it. everything was so loud and everyone was drinking, it was definitely a new sight for you.

you were sitting on a couch that was in the balcony, with a red cup that was filled with punch. you loved being away from the commotion.

this is where you met kyle, it was love at first sight. the both of you had so much in common and you thought that he was the man of your dreams.

you exchanged snapchats and from there, you were partners-in-crime.

you and kyle had stopped going to parties ever since the pandemic arrived, which means you got to see each other less.

since the both of you were students, both of your classes went online.

one time, kyle had no classes for a day and he decided to surprise you.

that day, you were having an online presentation. both your camera and microphone were on.

"Rene Descartes was the Father of Modern Philosophy—"

as you were presenting the slide show, you were cut off by kyle's presence infront of your desk.

"I brought you food, baby!"

you would shush him and suddenly turn off your mic.

"I'm so sorry, Miss. My boyfriend arrived and I—"

kyle would go beside you and kiss you on your cheek, your classmates and teacher cooing over it.

"Miss, you better give my girlfriend a good grade."

POST DEATH:

*pretend that he survived the bus accident and had a coma, because we arent involving witchcraft here*

kyle and his fraternity were on a bus that was going to some college event at school.

on the way there, you guys snapped each other and his friends would talk to you as well.

unfortunately, they got in an accident and the bus was flipped over.

a few students, including kyle, survived the accident.

when you heard this news, you cried your heart out and you didnt talk to anyone in your family.

you and your family visited the hospital and you rushed to kyle's room, it broke your heart to see tubes in him, with machines that beeped like there was no tomorrow.

when the doctor said that kyle was in a coma, your heart sank in the deepest part of your body.

this made you stay 24/7 with him until he was discharged.

when he was discharged from the hospital, he was not his usual self. the bubbly, energetic kyle was gone. instead, he was so confused with everything.

kyle's mom made him stay with you until he got his memory back, and you were more than glad to help.

but this took a toll on your studies because your classes were online due to a pandemic.

everyday in class, you would let kyle sit beside you and let him observe what you were doing.

"We're in Science class, Kyle. You were really good in Science, you helped me alot with my homeworks."

most of the time, you would help kyle develop his speech and his writing. but it was difficult for you.

"S-Sci... S-Sci-en.. ce?"

"Yes, Kyle! Good job, now one more time."

~♡ JIMMY DARLING:

ever since you were a kid, you loved going to carnivals, your parents would always bring you there every weekend.

there were carnivals almost everywhere, and your family brought you to all of them.

to you, each carnival was unique. the clowns and magicians in each carnival had different tricks up their sleeve.

but as you grew up, these carnivals slowly went out of business. except for one, which was elsa's cabinet of curiosities.

you decided to visit it one day just for a trip down memory lane, you never really had expectations for this place.

when you arrived there, there were a few people that were seated.

the show started and it instantly made you smile, they reminded you of your younger days. oh how you wished to be a child again.

you watched through a few acts, and the last act was a man named jimmy darling

when he came on stage, you locked eyes with him. there was something about him that really struck you.

after the performance ended, jimmy ran over to you and got your number. from there, you always talked and you would visit him regularly.

the regular visits stopped when the pandemic struck the country, forcing entertainment establishments, schools and unis to close down.

for the mean time, all your classes went online. you told jimmy that he could stay with you until things went back to normal.

on an early tuesday morning, you were in english class. jimmy was with your parents preparing breakfast, and you were falling asleep while your teacher discussed about the odyssey.

unlike tate, jimmy would always knock on your door. as his mom always taught, never enter anyone's room without knocking.

jimmy would giggle at your sleeping sight, your head lowered and your hair messed up.

"Hey, sweetheart, wake up! You're in class."

jimmy's timing was perfect. as he woke you up, you were called by the teacher.

"Miss Y/N, Do you think Odysseus was loyal to his wife?"

obviously, you panicked. but jimmy was there to save you. since jimmy was fond of reading, he finished the book and he whispered the answer to you before you could turn on your mic.

"No, Ma'am. Odysseus had an affair with Calypso and Circe."

once you got your teacher's approval, you turned off your microphone and let out a sigh of relief.

"You're lucky that I'm here to help you."

jimmy would joke and you would jump up to him, tackling him into a hug.

"I'm always lucky to have you, baby."

~♡ DANDY MOTT

at a young age, you were exposed to different types of fabrics. denim, silk, corduroy, neoprene. they name it, you've probably seen it.

your mother worked as a fashion designer. she managed to open a shop in the city and it was a great success for you and your family.

your mother has styled famous models. because of this, the shop was promoted and broadcasted all over the country. one day when you came from school, you saw a long line outside the shop.

that day, the staff count was low. there were only 5 employees instead of 10. you didn't exactly know why, so you decided to help.

after what felt like several hours, the long line finally dissolved into 2 customers, which was a mother and her son. they looked through the shop and the mother instantly loved everything.

her son, on the other hand, was trying on this lilac tux that your mother made.

you assisted her son and when you locked eyes, the both of you smiled. you entertained him throughout his shopping spree and the both of you never broke eye contact.

this was how you met dandy. he made the first move by getting your number, and of course you gave it back.

from there, the both of you talked day and night, even when you were in school.

since dandy's mother, gloria, loved your mother's shop so much, she would invite you and your mother regularly to her mansion.

gloria and your mother got along very well, and it was like gloria was your second mother.

so when your mother went to paris for a fashion show, she let you stay in gloria's mansion until she came back.

but to your dismay, your mother was not able to come back due to a pandemic that was all over the world. flights, establishments, and schools closed down.

of course you were sad, but you didn't worry so much because gloria treated you like her real daughter.

classes were online and you were forced to attend them everyday in the shared room you had with dandy.

since you had to get ready for class early in the morning, you would quietly get out of bed because dandy was sometimes a light sleeper.

it was around 8am and you were in math class. in your school, cameras were required to be turned on at all times. you thought this was a shit rule, but you had no choice to comply.

you were drawing some circles with a compass for an example that was being discussed by your teacher, when all of a sudden dandy was beside you.

"Dandy, sweetie, what are you doing up so early? Go back to sleep.."

dandy would pout at the lack of attention that you were giving him. since he loved holding your hand, you let him hold your other hand that you didn't use for writing.

"You're doing Math instead of cuddling with me!"

—♡—

i'm actually super proud of this omg !! i hope yall enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it 🥺❤

—♡—

[spookysmujer]

Issues, O. Diaz

Summary: Spooky and his S/O having jealousy issues at a party.

requested by: @gemini0410

warnings:  Angst, semi-toxic!Oscar, f r e a k y shet 👅 (smut/18+)

A/N: Hi everyone, I finally got a new laptop!! Which means that I can post again, f i n a l l y. I’ll be working on requests that I’ve gotten nearly over a month ago, I feel so bad! This turned out more smutty more than anything, LOL. As usual, please show some love: heart it, comment, reblog, follow and turn on the notifs for when I post, thank you for requesting! And again I’m so sorry this took so long to get done.

(gif belongs to @merakiaes 🦋 miss you babes!)

It had been a long day, the ache in your shoulders prominent as you’re staring down at diagrams on the too thick stack of papers. You sigh as you blink away the tiredness. The half day shift kicked you in the ass as you’re now doing a late night study in the community college library.

The face clock creeping towards 10:45pm, you’ve been here for 2 hours trying to finish up this section that you’ve been struggling with. An exam around the corner. However, the night is still young as your boyfriend, the infamous Oscar ‘Spooky’  Diaz always says. You promised him earlier in the day that you’d stop by the usual weekend party at his place, though you said you’d show up by 8:30pm. 

Where you at 

Nena, hello???

Puta, don’t come by then. 

I got all these other hynas anyways 

You pick up your phone again, the 4th time in a half an hour span, seeing another message come through from Oscar. He has issues when people don’t stick to their word, for everything and anything, if you slip up on your promises you’re scum of the earth. That’s why he reacts the way he does, like he is now with the nonsense. 

“Okay, I am all studied out and I gotta go, before he sends someone to get my ass. Thanks for studying with me, I appreciate it.” You begin to collect all your papers and stationary items which consists of far too many highlighters. “Yeah, of course no problem, whenever you need it!”

After gathering all your things and exiting the library, you send a text to Oscar that you are finally on your way, though he reads it and doesn’t reply. By this alone, you know it will be a long night ahead of you. Issues run deep between the two of you. It falls more heavy on Oscar’s side, you tend to be a bit more tame. When it comes to him, he can make it very... personal.

The music is bumping, feeling the bass of it as you step out of your car. The front lawn filled with a few people, most of them all drunk and half asleep already. You trek through the house, keeping an eye for a hot-headed Santo. The idea of a red Oscar making you laugh to yourself. After finally getting through the house to the backyard, you spot him chatting away with other santos.

One of them happens to look your way and nudges your boyfriend to which he follows his line of sight and spots you. He stares at you with a look of almost disgust. He doesn’t move from his spot for a moment, finishing his conversation and then his beer.

You sigh, walking over to the cooler to get a beer because though you aren’t much of a drinker you know how tonight will pan out, so all the help you can get to get through it.

“Why you here for?” He says, sporty the signature ‘Spooky’ look. You know how he likes to play this game.

You take a sip of the cold, bitter liquid, “Here for the party like I told you I would be.” He lets out a breathy laugh, sliding his tongue between his lips while looking down at you. “Yeah, told you not to come by since you wanna be fake. Show up by 8:30 my ass, pendeja.”

Now the tone his voice is changing, he’s looking for a fight. Though Oscar can hold his alcohol, it does boost ego more than usual. You roll your eyes, shifting your weight onto your other leg and shoving your free hand into your pants pocket.

“I told you that, yes. But I did tell you that I’d be studying after work so you know what that means too. I’m here though so let’s enjoy the night, hm?” You pull your hand out of your pocket to wrap your arm around his waist but he stops you, “Nah, you didn’t have to go out of your way to come, go. Go back to studying with your puta friends.”

And he knows exactly how to get under your skin, talking all kinds of shit.

Before you can retort back, your phone buzzes in your pocket. Your eyes still on Oscar’s, him with a sly smirk on his face. You pull your phone out and see it lighting up with your friends name, Ricardo.

That ‘Game Over’ voices play in your head as you stare down at the illuminated phone screen, you click the lock button a couple of times to end the call and you quickly shove your phone in your pocket once more. 

Oscar’s eyes flick up to yours as you look back up at him, his lip twitching up. Damn it, you say to yourself. You should have ignored it and continued your pursue on your boyfriend.

When Oscar is really upset, he tends to be quiet, that’s when his thoughts are louder than his words. He stares at you for a moment more then he steps back and away from you, still no words.

“Babe.” You call out, “Oscar!” This time a little louder but he continues with his back towards you and into the house. You let out another sigh which has to be the 10th since you arrived. Heading into the house to see where he went off to, you just in time as he slips through the front door as he slams it behind him. 

When you step out of the house you see him unlocking the car door of his impala. “Where are you going?” You call out to him as he slips in. You hurry over in time to catch the door with your hand before he can close it, “Let go.”

Oscar’s voice is eerily calm as he keeps his line of sight off of you and straight ahead. He is holding onto the door, waiting for you to let go. You pull it more open and stepping closer, “Where are you going?”

He scoffs at you, “You seem real interested in me now but where was all this at 8:30? Hm? Studying with that pendejo, huh? Bet you weren’t even fuckin’ studying.”

The venom in his voice begins to drip at you, his eyebrows touching at this point. The fact you were late and also it was because you were studying with a dude is fuel added to the fire. 

Issues ran deep between you two, especially the jealous issues. Oscar couldn’t help but get insecure, you are a gem. He’s damaged goods and you always remind him that he is more than you thought you deserved, but moments like this one though? Only infiltrates his thoughts more.

“Oscar, Ricardo is my accounting partner. We work in pairs this semester. So yes, we were studying. And you know I was, don’t start that shit.” You explain to him to which he doesn’t immediately reply. A sign that he is trying to reason with his demons.

He pulls the keys out of the ignition, dropping his hands to his lap, “Why’d you hurry your phone away then? Hm? If he’s just this so called partner?”

Demons winning.

You cross your arms over your chest, tipping your head back and closing your eyes for a brief moment, “If you want me to pull up my roster, I can show you he is just a study partner. I did that because I knew how you would have acted, just as you are now. You’re already upset for me being late. There is no reason to think anything, I promise.”

Oscar sighs and moves to get out of the car. He stands and towers over you, looking down and staring deeply into your dark orbs. He searches them for a moment for extra confirmation that he has nothing to worry about. And as he see it in your eyes that it simply was just a study session, he begins to ease up.

“Please, let’s just drink and enjoy the night, hm?” You close the space between the two of you as he wipes his face of any physical agitation. As he does you wrap your arms around his waist, leaning the side of your face against his chest. 

He wraps his arms around you, feeling you under him for a moment as he places a chaste kiss on top your head. When you let go, he looks at you with a look at only means one thing. He pushes some stray strands of hair behind your ear as his eyes begin to rake your body. 

Oscar tilts his head towards the house as he grabs your hand, you interlock fingers while he leads you into and through the busy house. You’re close trailing behind him as a few of his compas give him a boosting look. 

Once the two of you make it to his room, he locks the door and pulls off his shirt in one swift movement over his head, tossing it to the side. You take a few steps back before you sit at the foot of the bed. Oscar stalks towards you and positions himself in between your legs. You gaze up at him through your lashes as he pushes his body into you. As long as the two of you have been together, you two can communicate with each other with just looks. 

Your hands move up to his bare stomach, feeling his skin as they fall back down to his waist and you begin to work his belt. You pull it through the loops of his shorts and then work the button and zipper, it’s a moment of complete lust and there is no tender moments to be wasted.

He pushes his shorts and boxers down enough for his semi-hard member to slip out. You push his clothes down to his ankles to which he moves his hands behind his back to hold there. He juts his chin forward to you to give you the go. You’re biting your lip as you move your face closer to his now fully hard cock.

“No hands.” 

He says barely above a whisper as you set your hands down on your thighs. You maneuver your face to be set directly in front of his girthy length, placing your lips on the tip, holding it between your lips as you gaze up at him. 

The rough inhale from him and contraction of his abdomen muscles tell you that just your lips on his throbbing head alone is enough to send him into the void. You know better than to tease him in moments like this, you know when it’s no sweet kisses or lingering touches that there is no room for torturous or slow whatsoever.

Your mouth opens the more you take him, eating up ever inch of the Santo leader. It’s when his tip hits the back of your throat that you breath through your nose and swallow, your throat muscles squeezing him like a vice. 

“Fuck, nena,” 

Then you been your assault, bobbing your head on his member, up and down and never removing your mouth. When you get back to the tip, your swirl your tongue and suck harder as if its a yummy lolli. Giving Oscar head always gets you turned on overdrive. It’s something about the ability to make him come undone, making him come undone is a feeling that sends shocks right to your core. 

Oscar is letting out soft but guttural groans, the sweat beginning to build around his body. The entire time you’ve been taking him, he’s had his arms locked behind his back but that changes when you take his entire length and into your throat, holding you it when working your throat muscles. He grabs the back on your head, pressing you into him more than you were prior.

His moans getting a pitch louder as he begins to buck his hips forward. You begin to lose your breath and getting in oxygen through your nasal cavity proves difficult as your nose is pressed up against his skin. The automatic instinct to pull back kicks in but he has you in a tight hold against him, he’s now completely fucking your throat.

You push on his thighs with your hands to give him the besides the obvious hint that you need air. As you begin to gag, he finally releases the hold on the back of your head and you pull your head up and off his cock. 

“I’m about to fuckin’ bust, bebe. Go again.” 

After take a few more breaths, you take his slick with your saliva cock in your hand to pump him so you are able to get a few breaths in. You guide him back into your mouth, this time pumping him along with the sucking.

You begin to moan as you do so, adding the pleasure you are creating. And the ache between your legs begin to grow, as you shift you can feel just how wet you are getting. The ache becoming too much to leave unattended. Your hand massages your clothed heat, sending you into a frenzy.

Oscar had his head tipped back and eyes closed since you started again, but when he begins to hear and feel your moans he looks down to see your free hand in your pants. The pleasure you’re creating for both him and yourself draws you close to an orgasm. 

You purposely begin to gag on him and it doesn’t take too long before Oscar cums in your mouth. The release of profanities and groans sends a shock to your cunt, you double over as your hand begins to falter, the orgasm ripping through you. 

After swallowing his seed, he tells you to show him that it’s all gone. He bites his lip and pulls you to stand. Oscar grabs your hand that was in your pants and brings it to his mouth, taking your fingers and sucking on them.

He wanted a taste, you got a taste of him so it only seems fitting.

Oscar jumps in the shower for a quick rinse, as you simply just change your underwear. The night a success as the two you ended up relieving the tension in a beneficial way. 

“And mamas? If I find out you bail on me to study with some puto again, I promise Freeridge will be one less body and with a begging puta for my cock to which she won’t get shit for weeks.”

[knightofameris]

hot chai tea — kita shinsuke

𝚐𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛: neutral 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚜: reader has a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝: 1.3𝚔 𝚊𝚖𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚜' 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚜: okay I was trying to not include any notes for these but I had to for this! After writing (well, partially into writing it) this I found that I enjoyed it enough that I wanted to submit it for @agaassi​‘s 4k celebration 🥺 It’s not a cafe AU, but I call it the “cafe au but make it boba” I’ll include a bit more of some notes at the end so uhmmm catch ya in a bit! 

𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚍: hot chai tea 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 ChaTime  𝚎𝚗𝚓𝚘𝚢 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚍𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚔!

⇽ 𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝚝𝚘 ◜𝚊𝚖𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚜' 𝚋𝚘𝚋𝚊 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚙 𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚞◞ 

Everything that could go wrong, went wrong. 

First you woke up late, you didn’t even have time to eat, the campus bus left you as you were running towards it which made you late to your last 8AM (with an attendance policy) class of the semester. Then, you realized you brought the wrong notebook for your 8AM class for the review session since finals was next week and you forgot your laptop so you resorted to taking notes on your goddamn phone. Ah, but then your phone died and you forgot to bring a charger and a portable. Because of that, you lost track of time while studying that you were late to work. 

You only made it into work 10 minutes late but it was in the midst of a rush and you messed up the first three orders terribly. So badly that your coworkers and manager just put you in the back to sort some things instead. 

That’s how you found yourself scowling as you carried boxes back and forth, organizing cups and food items in the fridge. This is it, this was your villain origin story. Forced to the back after a shitty day and—

A strict, yet soft, voice called out to you. 

You felt a shiver run down your spine, stopping you in your tracks, and slowly turned towards the voice of your manager. 

Kita Shinsuke.

Honestly, you weren’t usually scared of him. He’s a nice guy, kinda robotic at times, but he has an aura that commandeers respect. He says it like it is, but he cares a lot. Always on time, always working efficiently, always able to handle the Miya twins when needed. 

It’s just that... He’s never had a reason to use that voice on you. 

“Ah, Kita-san, what’s up?” You asked, trying to put on a smile. 

His intense eyes stared straight into yours and you immediately looked away, feeling a bit too vulnerable under his gaze. 

“Is there some reason why you’re not performing like you usually do?” 

Right, Kita was always someone who could do his job no matter what happens. Performing anxiety was nonexistent to him. Or any anxiety for that matter. 

“I, uh,” you debated between telling him a lie but you had a feeling he’d read right through you. Maybe being honest was the better choice here. “Just had a bad day.” 

Kita doesn’t say anything. Instead, choosing to wait. So you set down the box with a sigh and began explaining everything that happened. And he listens, fully and wholeheartedly. He doesn’t say anything, nor is he thinking of what to say until you finish. By the time you’re done going over the events that transpired that eventful day you find that you’re choking back tears. 

“I want you to take a deep breath,” he instructed. He walked up to you as you did so and set his hands on your shoulders. “With finals next week, you should go home and rest so it doesn’t impact your exams. Your immune system is weakest when you’re stressed and you should take care of your body-”

“Wait, Kita-san��” It’s already too late, he had you turned around and began pushing you towards the exit in the back. 

“-Eat some dinner and sleep early tonight. Then make sure to get plenty of breaks as you study.” 

“Wait, but Kita, I need to work,” you pleaded, dropping the honorific. Although, that caused you more of a fright than himself as you scampered to try to fix your mistake but Kita just holds up a hand. He didn’t really mind the fact that you dropped it. 

“Do you need the money?” 

You blinked then stare down at your feet with a soft murmur of ‘yes’ and begin to explain, “I work the exact hour of shifts needed to pay for rent before the end of the month. Financial aid only covers tuition and just enough for groceries so...” 

Kita’s quiet for a few moments before he lets out a sigh, “You should still go home.” 

“Wha-? But-!”

“If you need to work an extra shift, I can work one in for you. After finals which is before the end of the month and before your next paycheck.” You frown, weighing your options and as you do so, Kita leaves to go towards the front. Which was confusing as you’re left standing there in the back. You were surprised that none of your coworkers came by but you suppose it’s because they didn’t want to fall under Kita’s wrath with poor word choices. 

It wasn’t until a few moments later that his figure comes into view and in his hand was the standard ChaTime cup that always held warm drinks. Kita holds out the drink towards you and you hesitantly grabbed it. 

“It’s chai tea, not too caffeinated so you’ll be able to rest easy tonight but just enough energy to get you back home,” he told you. You can’t help the few tears that escape your eyes but Kita’s face doesn’t change, no pity and no anger. Just a softness you couldn’t place. It makes your cheeks heat up. You hope you can blame it on you crying, even if it wasn’t much.

“Thank you, Kita-san,” you hesitantly take the cup out of his hands after wiping away the stray tears. “I’ll be sure to rest up tonight.” 

He gives you a curt nod and you’re already on your way to clock out and on the train back to your apartment. You finish the drink by the time you get back to your apartment and do everything that would make Kita proud. Eat dinner, drink water, and rest for the rest of the night. Maybe do a little face mask and watch a bit of Sailor Moon. 

For the first time that day, you were content. 

***

The next time you walk into work is long after finals week finished. There was a bit of a dance in each step you had as you strolled through the boba shop for the morning shift. But that soon came to a halt when you heard someone clear their voice. 

“Oh, Kita-san,” you laughed sheepishly. You could’ve sworn there was a slight smile on his face but that was the least of your worries once you noticed he had two cups in his hand. 

“Here, I hope your finals went well,” he handed you the warm drink and you immediately knew it was chai tea. 

You stared at Kita as he drank his own drink, maneuvering through the shop. You noticed that for this shift, it was just the two of you working. You also noticed that Kita must have been here for a while, the floors were mopped, the teas and toppings were all prepped and ready, monitors had all the drinks, and he prepped both of you a drink. 

He must have gone out of his way to make your shift a little easier. As you drank your tea, the corners of your lips turned upwards ever so slightly. Kita may definitely seem cold at times, blunt even, but he truly looked out for others. 

“Hey, Kita-san,” you called out, walking towards the front where he was standing. He looked up, staring at you as he waited. “You wouldn’t happen to know why my landlord said I could pay my rent late with no fees, would you?” 

Kita hummed, returning his gaze out the window where people were walking and took a sip of his drink. 

“No,” he replied. An uncharastic smirk made its way onto his face that you barely noticed as he took another sip. 

You chuckled, shaking your head. Staring down at the cup in your hands, your fingers playing with the cup sleeve, you struggled to find the right words only to resort for something simple. 

“Thank you.” 

Kita’s brown eyes glanced towards your figure, happy that you seem more well rested. He takes another sip from his cup before speaking up.

“You’re welcome.”

𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚔𝚜 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚙𝚙𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚋𝚢, 𝚎𝚗𝚓𝚘𝚢 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚍𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚔 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚊𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗!

𝚊𝚖𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚜' 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚜: okay hi again lmao. I guess this kinda exposes which anon i am and which college i go to WHOOPS LOL and iykyk lol (to anyone else reading that’s not ae ra). I was going to submit my atsumu one for the 4k writing challenge but I’ve gotta admit, I do not have a plot for his fic yet (as of the moment I’m writing this). And like I said before, I really enjoyed writing Kita’s sm that I wanted to use this one to submit for the writing challenge plus as i started i already had begun to write this in mind for the challenge. (i was also debating submitting Akaashi’s but then I realized I had posted that one already askdhkjf) 🥺🥺 though, this was definitely me being a bit more “risky” (?) since this is the first i’ve written for kita so I’m still trying to understand his character hnng. but i hope you enjoyed reading it! 👉👈 

I haven’t been able to write many things that are over like 3k lately so hopefully this short little fic suffices 🥺🥺 And I’ve only recently been motivated/inspired to write these boba fics, otherwise I would’ve done something else entirely! But it’s been a hot minute since I’ve done a writing challenge and I wanted to celebrate yours and i love love love writing challenges. 

Anywyayyayay, I’ve always enjoyed your writing but I really hope you’re taking your time to take care of yourself! Remember to write for you, get your sleep, eat and drink water (please don’t drink just milk tea omg), study hard, and uhhhhhhhhh make sure to relax!!

[the-lincyclopedia]

* adapted from @librajiminn on twitter

A fun game to celebrate 2020 ending! The rules are simple: recommend your favorite OMGCP fics so everyone can enjoy them, while trying to fill in enough slots to get a bingo!

This is going to get long, so I’ll put it under a cut. Also, I’m too orderly to try to shoehorn my favorite fics into these particular prompts, so I’m just going to go right to left, top to bottom, taking the prompts literally, until it’s bedtime. 

1. first fic you bookmarked: “Here Comes the Sun” by @doggernaut, 19k, G, no warnings, Zimbits

For the past month, the man with the baby and the sad blue eyes has been stopping in for a cup of coffee an hour before closing. He always sits in an overstuffed chair in the corner and drinks his coffee while his baby sleeps next to him in the stroller. Sometimes he pulls a book out from the diaper bag he carries with him; other times he just stares straight ahead as if in a daze. He never asks for a refill, always respectfully gathers his things and leaves ten minutes before the shop officially closes. Eric desperately wants to ask him what his story is. 

My notes: I read Check Please over the course of two days in June of 2019. On the second day, right after catching up, I looked at @peppermintfeminist‘s AO3 bookmarks and found a fic by @doggernaut. Then I read just about everything @doggernaut had ever posted. It was glorious. This fic in particular is so cute. 

2. most recent fic you bookmarked: “Flight Check” by @edgarallanrose, 15k, E, no warnings (though there is a creepy/handsy guy at a club to watch out for), primarily Zimbits with most of the other popular pairings in the background

Flight attendant Eric “Bitty” Bittle has been working his way up at Samwell Airlines for the past four years, and his new promotion has provided him the opportunity to work with a brand-new crew. Unfortunately for Bitty, that crew includes an incredibly handsome but equally grumpy pilot, Captain Jack Zimmermann, who seems to want nothing to do with Bitty. Even worse, Jack refuses to eat any of Bitty's baked goods. Will Bitty be able to win the captain over? Or is there another reason Jack has been avoiding Bitty?

My notes: There are a lot of great things about this fic--Jack’s character arc, Lardo’s dialogue, that scene in Seattle--but the reason I bookmarked it is the scene where Bitty’s basically slut-shaming himself and Jack gently but firmly tells Bitty not to do that and that it was the creep’s fault. 

3. a fic that made you cry actual tears: “a little bit more” by @ivecarvedawoodenheart, 14k, T, no warnings, Holsom

“I just wanted,” he says, “a perfect day. With you. Because it’s our last day together and our last day being here as undergrads and we’re kissing the ice tonight, and the weather’s supposed to be beautiful, and you’re moving tomorrow and Holtzy I just — I don’t want to be missing you already.” Holster wipes his eyes before he even realizes he’s crying. Behind him, Ransom sighs. “One more day where everything’s the same,” he says, feeling around blindly for Rans’ fingers. He feels Rans nod as he laces their fingers together. “Yeah. Yeah, Rans. I’d like that a lot.” __________________________

Holsom after graduation and throughout the subsequent six months after Holster signs to an expansion team in Oregon, and realizes his feelings for Ransom too late. Holster's POV :) kinda angsty, but there's a happy ending :)

Inspired by shitty-check-please-aus: "Holster moves to Oregon while Ransom stays on the east coast. The time difference makes it difficult to talk and one day they wake up and realize they aren’t best bros anymore."

My notes: I almost never cry at fics. I searched “tears” in my fandom email account and only a handful of my fic comments came up, but Syd is a literal master of Holsom angst, always. 

4. longest fic you’ve read: “Like Real People Do” by @xiaq, 153k, M, No Warnings, Kent Parson x OC

Parson gestures with his spoon toward Hawke. “So am I allowed to ask about the service dog or is that not PC?”

“My medical history is more of a 3rd date conversation," Eli says.

“Oh? Why’s that?”

“Because. No one sticks around afterward and I like to live in glorious denial for a short period beforehand.”

It comes out more self-deprecating than he intended.

Parson looks…thoughtful. “Well, does this count as one or two?

“Pardon?”

“This. Ice cream. I mean, technically it’s a second location, but still the same night. So is this one date or two?”

“One,” Eli says firmly. “If it’s happening within the same three-hour period.”

“You’re the expert,” Parson says, which, he’s really, really, not, but ok.

“So still two dates to go then?” Parson continues.

“I—what?”

“We’ve got a roadie coming up but then we’re home for almost two weeks. When does your semester start?”

“You want to do this again?” Eli asks.

Parson stops idly twirling his spoon.

“You don’t?”

He does, Eli realizes. He really does. Because apparently he actually likes Kent fucking Parson.

My notes: Okay, this fic has my whole entire heart. I’ve read it multiple times in its entirety, and it’s almost twice as long as the full-length novel I’m querying. Eli is one of my favorite OCs I’ve ever seen in a fic (probably tied with Damian Navarro and Ari Paxton, both brainchildren of @fozmeadows). Anyway, this is probably going to be the next thing @themeaningoflifeischeese and I read out loud to each other. 

5. a fic you almost didn’t read: “when all else fails (i’ll still be right here)” by @whoacanada, 6k, T, Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings (and I don’t remember if I think there’s stuff to warn for, sorry), Zimbits

The National Hockey League is resurrecting the Quebec City Nordiques, and the expansion draft hits the Falconers much harder than expected.

My notes: Given that this was for @omgcpheartbreakfest, I was worried this would be all angst--all hurt and no comfort. Which made me sad, because I love @whoacanada‘s writing but I wasn’t up for reading unresolved angst. But @doggernaut reblogged the fic, so I asked if the ending was sad, and it’s NOT! There is quite a bit of angst but the ending isn’t sad. 

6. a fic that convinced you on a ship you didn’t ship before: “it drops with the gravity of rain” by @geniusorinsanity, 16k, T, Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings (attempted sexual assault by an OC), Nurseydex

It happens like this:

“I don’t--this is a bad idea,” Dex says, his lips still tingling, his hands shaking on Nursey’s hips where he’s shoved him away. “This is a really bad idea, Nurse. I can’t--We can’t do this.”

And there’s hurt in Nursey’s eyes and his bottom lip is swollen from Dex’s teeth, but he says, “Okay.” And then, “It’s chill, Dex. Just friends, then.”

It happens like this:

“Actually,” Nursey says, talking more to his granola than to them, “I kind of have a date.”

It happens like this:

When Nursey calls, Dex almost doesn’t pick up the phone.

My notes: So I was really confused and a little disturbed when I first found out people shipped Nursey and Dex. Like, Dex just wasn’t someone I trusted. But then I was moving out of the house I’d been living in, and I needed stuff to listen to as I packed and cleaned, and @khashanakalashtar‘s podfics came in clutch. I gave this one a try even though I didn’t like Dex, and @geniusorinsanity blew. My. Mind.

7. a fic from an unusual POV: “Excuse Me While I Kiss This Guy” by @porcupine-girl, 8k, G, no warnings, Zimbits

Jesse Snowden knows all the best restaurants and gourmet food shops in Providence, so when Jack Zimmermann starts bringing in incredible baked goods, he's eager to find out where the new bakery is. When he meets the man behind the pies, he decides that there's no way Jack could really appreciate this guy's talent the way he does, even if they are friends. He starts hiring Jack's chef on the side, in the hopes that maybe once Bitty's done with college he'll come work for Jesse.

Good thing there is absolutely no way whatsoever that Jesse could possibly be misinterpreting this situation.

My notes: Oh my gosh this is so funny. The secondhand embarrassment factor is huge, but like, the hilarity. 

8. a comfort fic: “Don’t Need to Compromise” by @khashanakalashtar, 11k, E, no warnings, PB&J

“Hey,” said Kent, unknowingly setting off a chain of events that would change his entire life, “you said that like you know from experience. Have you done this before?”

Jack and Bitty have not done polyamory before, but they do know Ransom and Holster’s polycule, which contains March.

And March?

March is trans.

My notes: I’m in love with @khashanakalashtar‘s entire Directionverse series (and honestly a lot of their other writing), but “Don’t Need to Compromise,” which is the second fic in the series, just makes my heart swell especially much. The gender feels are so good, and all the characters are so good to each other, and when I listen to this on walks I have to actively try not to arm-flap. 

9. a fic you wish could be a movie: “Ice Crew Please!” by @petals42, 61k, T, no warnings, Zimbits

Jack Zimmermann was drafted first by the Providence Falconers when he was eighteen years old. He is good at hockey. Very good. His team won the Cup his second year and now, in his third year, they are looking good. Jack should be on top of the world. And some days, he manages to convince himself he is.

He’s not, of course.

Enter the Ice Crew.

AKA: The Ice Crew AU

My notes: This fic has its tender moments, but what I love most about it is the sheer goofiness. Ransom and Holster and Shitty are HILARIOUS in this one. I’d love to see their shenanigans in movie form. 

10. a WIP you read as it was updated: “Something Borrowed” by @fozmeadows, 48k, M, no warnings, Kent x OC

All things considered, Ari did his best to prepare himself for the advent of Kent Parson, Potentially Difficult Housemate and New Star Liney. The problem was that his best was an idiot.

My notes: So technically I didn’t start reading this until the first 19 chapters were posted. But there was still plenty of anticipation for the final few chapters. And like, @fozmeadows (as mentioned above) makes EXCELLENT OCs. And I love how their fics consistently convey that having bad things happen to you does not mark the end of your story. 

Okay, it’s bedtime, so have 10 excellent fics. I got bingo twice, because I went straight across on the top two rows.

[vantaenims]

moonlight i. | jimin

pairing: contemporary dancer!jimin x reader

genre: college au | fluff, angst, mystery

word count: 1.3k

warning/s: future depictions of violence.

summary: As if it’s calling you, you followed the sounds of the luring piano inside the auditorium but what’s more alluring is the boy dancing gracefully on the stage, enthralling everyone who dares to watch but you never knew that such ethereal beauty lies within a sense of mystery.

masterlist

all rights reserved © vantaenims - do not repost, translate, or claim as your own.

next>

--

 It’s now or never.

 His mind is wiped from any rationality but was instead flooded with impulsiveness, never once cared or thought about the consequences it might lead to, just the pure thought of ending it was what’s more important.

 Helpless is what he is as he watched the mess unfold in front of him, tears streaming down on his face. He woke up from reality upon seeing his friend kneeling down on the floor as he muttered countless apologies like it would make any difference at all.

 What can he do when what’s done is already done or perhaps what’s gone is already gone?

 Jimin was devoured by his inner demons.

 --

The first week of the second half of the first semester is nothing but a bore considering that the preliminary examinations just ended a week ago. Usually, professors would just give out the exam results to review for corrections and dismiss the class early but disappointingly your World Literature professor is not one of those indolent professors.

 With the light setting dimmed inside the classroom, you try to keep yourself awake as you listen to the analysis discussion of Albert Camus’ Sisyphus.

 You write your name repeatedly on your notebook until you noticed the red string bracelet you’ve been wearing since last night when you found it on the computer desk’s bookshelf while you we’re studying.

 You wore it after asking Jungkook – your roommate – if he owns it, he told you that he doesn’t own such an accessory thus the reason you kept it as yours. Grazing your fingers over the braided knots in the middle, you find it elegant even though it’s just a simple red thread.

 “Since we’ll be covering a lot of topics, I’ve decided that it’d be best to assign every one of you a narrative” your professor said as he took out a mini fishbowl filled with rolled papers.

 “Take one and pass it around” he gave the bowl to the student in the first row. You got one for yourself and pass the bowl, unrolling it you read the scribbled words – Clair de Lune by Paul Verlaine.

 “Okay, now that you’ve all picked a narrative” you glanced up to look at your professor, “I want you to make a report about it, I’ll be posting on the portal what should be the contents and when you’ll be assigned to do the presentation”

 Alright, you take back what you said that your world literature professor is not one of those indolent professors. As expected, she assigned you to do the reporting so she could sit back and just listen; pass your job to the students.

 The class was dismissed, meaning your class is done for the day. You stood in the hallway as you wait for Areum & Daeun to go out of the room. You met them at the start of the school year and they’re literature majors as well who you’ve gotten the chance to be much closer to them attending a university wide welcome party for freshmans.

 “What did you get?” Areum asked you.

 “Claire de Lune by Paul Verlaine and you?”

 “It’s something about rose…” she retrieved the piece of paper from her jacket, “Ah it’s A Rose for Emily by William Faulkner.”

 “Where do you guys want to eat?” Eunha said as she got out of the classroom. You go down the stairs as you were all suggesting where until you decided to eat at a Café, saying that you should treat yourself after a week of examinations.

 But then your phone buzzed, it’s a message from Daeun. She’s a junior student and the Vice President for Internal Affairs of the Literature Department’s organization.

 [Mon, Oct 11, 6:07 PM]

 Daeun: Y/N Can I call you? It’s important

 Before you were even given the chance to reply to her text, your phone went off as you swiped it to answer.

 “Hi Y/N! I’m sorry it’s such a late notice but could you do me a favor?”

 “Yeah, sure, about what?” you said as you momentarily slowed down your pace.

 “Could you please ask them to sign our request letter for equipment to the Facilities Management Office?”

 “I thought you passed it yesterday?” you questioned, you remembered when she dismissed you the moment you asked her if she needs any help in preparing for the General Assembly of your department, you are her Junior Executive after all but instead she told you that she’ll let you know right away if ever she needs one.

 “I’m sorry, I forgot to ask them to sign our receiving copy because I left it in the organization room” she apologetically said.

 “Sure, I’ll drop by the office. It’s in the Fine Arts Building right?”

 “Yeah, it’s right beside the auditorium” she informed you, “Again, I’m really sorry for bothering you. Thank you so much Y/N!”

 You laughed as you quickly dismissed her, saying that it’s your duty to assist and help her anyway. Daeun was really nothing but sweet to you, glad that she’s far from those snobby and bossy student councils you expected.

 You ran up to Areum and Eunha after you ended the call, stopping them to say that you’ll need to pass a requirement in the office, “We can go with you if you want” Eunha said.

 “No, it’s okay I’ll catch after you if I can. I’ll text you?” you bid them goodbye as they told you to meet them at the café if you’ll be able to finish earlier.

 As soon as you enter the organization room, you saw the other junior executives preparing the props needed for the program that’ll be set few weeks from now. Daeun proposed this program because she sees this as a perfect opportunity for all the literature students to bond and at the same time to appreciate their major by performing skits.

 You excused yourself as you get the paper in the table, quickly greeting them encouraging words before you went out to go to the Fine Arts Building which is approximately 10 minutes away from your building.

 Upon entering the building, you were elated to see that they have elevator services not unlike in your building but as you were about to go inside, you were barred from entering by the lady operating it, saying how the school staff are the only ones allowed to use it. Great. You grunted as soon as the doors closed and proceeded to use the stairs instead.

 You were gasping for air by the time you got at the sixth floor, as if walking here in this building isn’t tiring enough. You pushed the door of the office but it did not budge, looking up to see that the lights are off. It’s already closed as it says on the door that it’s office hours is from 9 A.M. to 6 P.M.

 “Really?” you whispered in annoyance, looking at your watch to see that it has only been twenty minutes since closing time.

 Instead, you placed both of your hands on the railings of the wide vast balcony hallway of the building that overlooks the field as you observe the sunset view for a while to rest before you go down the stairs. It irks you a bit how you went all the way here for nothing but the scenic view could suffice, you get your phone to update Daeun.

 [Mon, Oct 10, 6:20 PM]

 You: The office is closed.

You: It’s only open up to 6 PM

 Daeun: Omg I’m so sorry Y/N I thought it was open ‘til 7. You can leave it in the organization room, I’ll pass it tomorrow.

 You: I’ll come back here tomorrow

You: My class ends at 5:45 every Tuesday so don’t sweat it!

 Placing the phone back on your pocket, you walk towards the hallway but immediately stopped when you suddenly heard a music playing coming from the auditorium just when you were about to leave. A sound of piano to be specific.

 You thought that maybe it’s one of the staff from the facilities office, possibly checking the sound system. You let out a relieved sigh, maybe you’ll be able to sign the papers tonight but you didn’t expect to see such view when you opened the doors of the auditorium.

 --

next> 

A/N: This is too short for a chapter but anyways it’s more of an introduction to the whole series. This is my first fic series so please bear with me 🥺 If you want to be tagged, don’t hesitate to reply or drop by my asks. Hope you’ll like this!

[anatomyandcappuccini]

HOW TO BE READY FOR SEPTEMBER

AND WHY IT IS THE PERFECT MONTH FOR FRESH STARTS

Hey! It’s been a long time since I wrote a master post here... And I’m really sorry about that. I had a pretty busy summer and honestly, I wasn’t that inspired. I barely had time to manage my new studygram (btw it would mean the world if you follow me!!).

However, I’m back now, stronger than ever as I got the opportunity to live tons of new experiences this summer... Good and bad. I learned a lot and I’m grateful for everything this period brought to me.

Now, let’s get to the true subject of this post, which is how to get ready for September!

Why September ?

Because September is a month that I personally love since it means that a new school/uni year will start, and I think it’s the best season to try something new or to switch your routine a bit. I’ve always been better at taking new initiatives in September than for the NYE and I noticed that every year I apply the same kind of ritual. 

We’re in the middle of August right now and I think it’s the best moment to prepare yourself a bit so you can start September in the best way possible :)

I also think you can link this article to a previous one that I consider super important and you can read it here if you haven’t already done it! :) 

Step 1 - Reflect

Take a step back and think about what you did during this last year. If you were at school, think about what you want to get better at, what skills you may want to improve and/or which study method really worked for you and which didn’t. 

Think about your current routine and/or the one you have right now and ask yourself if it will be sustainable once you start school, or how you’ll be able to do it whilst going to school every day. 

This will let you reflect on what you learned during this year, what you’d like to know more of, and what mistakes you may have made. Be thankful for every experience you have faced, and always remember that experiences make you grow as a person. Don’t criticize yourself, don’t judge, just observe, say « thank you » and use this as a way to become more mature and closer to the person you want to be. 

Also, don’t be afraid to be honest with yourself as this “reflection” time will really help you to set up your goals for this new fresh start.

Step 2 - Write down your goals

What do you want to improve? Do you want to start a new routine? Do you want to get rid of a bad habit? Do you want to get better grades in maths? 

Write down everything and be as clear as possible. You can also separate each goal by its specificity. I like to make 3 columns, one for each kind of goal :

My new routine goals : ex. Waking up earlier, eating more home cooked meals, doing homework right after going home, etc.

What I want to stop : biting my nails, neglecting maths, etc.

What I need to maintain : day-by-day planning, studying a little every day, actually reading the textbooks, etc. 

The most important thing is that your goals have to be achievable. Start slowly but surely!! 

Think about how you’re gonna achieve what you want, find new strategies, do some research and/or ask for tips! 

You can also start working on your goals right now so it will be easier once school starts. For example, my goals for September are to be able to wake up earlier, going to the gym more often and also trying to do more meditation. In order to achieve that, I’m already changing my routine because I have a lot of free time so I can “test” this routine and see if I’ll be able to stick to it once I start uni again. I’ll then adjust it in function of how it feels :)

Don’t be afraid to dream big!!

Step 3 - Get into the mood

September means a new start, and new starts mean that you’re allowed to change your environment! Here’s my non-exhaustive list about what you can do :

Review some topics that have to be well known for the incoming year. You’re late with the math program? It’s the best time to get in touch with it again! I know it may be super boring but you’ll be much less stressed when you start the year :)

Download apps and/or buy some books that will be useful for the incoming year! Ask to previous year students what helped them and ask for advice ! You may know super useful tips you never thought of!

Upgrade your studyspace/bedroom (check my article about this!) - it’s like buying new workout clothes : it motivates you much more. I remember when I switched my desk and bed I actually wanted to spend all my free time in my bedroom! 

Buy new stationery - new planners, pens, agendas, notebooks! Of course, don’t buy tons of useless stuff and make sure you’ll actually use them (even if having 10 super cute notebooks seems really tempting :P ) 

Make a September playlist!! I always love doing this, most of the time I add happy and motivating songs so they get me in the best mood ever :D

Make your vision/dream board!! This is the most amusing and creative way to help you visualize your goals! Save images/pictures/quotes that you like, and print them or make a collage and make it your new computer wallpaper or hang them in your bedroom. You just have to put it in a place where you’ll be able to see it every day!! By doing so, you’ll actually wake up every morning seeing your dream board and you’ll start the day feeling more inspired !

Talking about inspiration, I think September is a good moment to get rid of toxic stimulations. We may not notice it but most of us tend to spend a lot of time on social media. I don’t know you but I had a period in my life where I just woke up in the morning and the first thing I would do was checking Instagram and most of the time I fell so upset about my life when I was seeing all the “dreamy” pictures taken by “influencers”. It made me feel so bad that one day I decided to unfollow all these pages that made me feel like crap. For each page/person that you follow on social media, try to ask yourself if it actually inspires you or it just makes you feel bad/anxious about yourself. Unfollow every page that doesn’t bring you anything positive or that is not helping you get motivated. Follow instead pages that support the same things as you and that inspire you to be the best version of yourself!!! Remember P-O-S-I-T-I-V-I-T-Y is the key to success :)

Start a bujo, and plan your year ahead. Write down all due dates, exam dates, vacations and everything you want! Make reading lists, movie lists, new recipes, challenges, etc. I find it to be so practical and also creative. 

Start a new TV show! Since I started this studyblr I discovered Gilmore Girls and I absolutely love it!! It’s really relaxing to watch and Rory Gilmore is definitely my inspiration character haha. Just remember that watching 3 seasons in a row is a bit anti-productive :P 

Get informed about college applications/internships/jobs or everything related to your academic future. It’s always better to be informed soon so you can already prepare yourself.

Start a studyblr/studygram : I found it to be the best source of motivation I’ve ever had. Starting this blog is one of the best decisions I’ve ever made!! This community is honestly amazing and I love how supporting and genuine it is! I find it to be so inspiring and you guys share so many great tips!

So that’s it! I know that you may be very upset that school/uni/work starts soon but you can make this new start more fun! Personally, I always get a bit stressed in September because of the all coming deadlines but following these tips always helped me figure out what I need to do or what habits I need to change in order to SLAY this new academic year :D

I hope these tips will help you and that you’ll have a great fresh start on your first day!

Margot X

STUDYGRAM

[melyaliz]

Night Person

Fandom: Yu-Gi-OH

Summary: All the best things happened to Amie at night. 

Pairing: Seto Kaiba x OC 

Notes: Ok so @speedypan reminded me of my TOTAL and UTTER love for Yugioh. Honestly, I have both my DC fanfic revival and now Yuigoh credited to her. Just wait, soon I’ll be bringing back Avatar and Naruto soon 😂😝

Like as we speak I am working on re-editing my old series and posting it on archive but I figured I could post some of my NEW stuff here? I promise I am still working on Nancy’s second part and @werewitchling’s Charlie request :P Life has just been rough and I guess Seto calms my nerves (weird) 

All Masterlists @melyalizarchive​

Connect with me! AO3 / Instagram / Pinterest

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Amie was a night person. She had her best ideas late at night, her breakthrough on projects, and adventures late at night.

Honestly, she hadn’t thought too much about it but her best moments happened at night too.

-Thursday 10:32pm-

Everyone was gone. Most of the lights were off. At least they were in the rest of Kaiba Corp  As for the animation lab, everything was still bright and cheery.

WHY?

Because Amie was still hard at work and she was NOT about to be stuck in some creepy Freddy Kroger style office. If she had to stay late to cover her idiot co-workers the world around her better be bright and cheery.

A large soda at her side and music blasting in her ears while she tried to get the Dark magician’s hat just right. It just wasn’t folding the way she… wait, was that a kid?

Glancing over their screen she blinked again before rubbing her eyes. Contacts starting to dry out. Honestly, she should just go home but she was sooo close. Maybe if she just…

There it was again.

Leaning out of her chair she studied the doorway. Ok, now she was getting slightly creeped out. This was some Chucky style shit. Glancing back down at her screen she clicked save several hundred times on her project. Never can be too safe. Then glancing up, her brown eyes locking onto a pair of dark blue ones.

“Uhhh Hello child of the corn.”

“What?”

“Nothing… are your parents around”

The boy laughed shoving his hands into his pockets. “Are you new?”

“Yes… oh fuck… I mean fudge… oh, fudge. Sorry... Mokuba right?”

“That’s me.” he shrugged waving his hand at her apologetic smile, “It’s kind of late why are you still here?”

“Because of the hat from hell.”

“What?”

“Why are you?” change the subject, no point in bitching about the design issues with the big boss’s kid brother. Would he be considered the Big kid? The small boss?

“Because my brother is a work-a-holic.”

“I feel it.”

Mokuba walked over to her screen glancing over at the screen studying her work, “looks good to me.”

Amie couldn’t help but snort, “Yeah but that hat.” clicking the space bar the small magician started to move making the hat flip in rather unrealistic movements causing Mokuba laugh.

“It looks like… it looks…”

“Oh yeah, I’m very aware...”

“Well can I hang out with you while you work on it?”

“Only if you tell me about your day, I like listening to things while I work.”

“Well you’re in luck, I happen to be a GREAT storyteller.”  

-Friday 11:53pm-

It was late and Amie was just finishing up. That total complete moron Jeff had ONCE again spectacularly destroyed the files they needed to get to Seto that Monday for the pitch.

And instead of staying and cleaning up his mess the wonderful oh so hard working moron ditched saying something about “having to go.” Amie was about 90% sure he was just going to see his girlfriend and probably get an early start on his weekend.

Something Amie had hoped to do. But no, instead she was trapped cleaning up his mess working well into the evening.

“Fuck that guy,” Amie grumbled to herself as she walked down the halls holding her 4th mug of coffee hoping that would jump-start the creative process for her. Although it was really just helping her brain come up with a million ways she hoped Jeff would suffer for his idiocracy. Maybe some burning diarrhea or maybe he would get a HUGE dent his beloved car?

“What are you still doing here… wait…”

Amie winced as she paused looking up from her thoughts to see the CEO himself Seto Kaiba. The only time Seto had bothered to pay attention to Amie the intern was when her brother had faked her submission to get her in. After that, he had never sent her a second glance.

Which was good because she was too young for this position and if anyone found out she was NOT a college student she could lose this opportunity of a lifetime.

“Yes Boss Dude?” she muttered glancing up at him from under the dark black bangs of her work wig.

“Don’t I go to school with you?” Seto asked taking a step closer, his piercing blue eyes studying her. Ok, it also didn’t help that Amie found the dueling champion super hot. Like not in a “we’re soulmates” kind of way but more of a “You’re eyes make me nervous” sort of way.

“If I say yes will you fire me?”

“Humm” he studied her for a moment, “Why are you here so late?”

“Just finishing up the prototypes for the pitch on Monday.”

“And your supervisor couldn't do that?”

“He had a hot date.”

“Then no.” with that he turned and walked off.

“Wait!” a weird rush of confidence came over it. Maybe it was the 4th cup of coffee or the fact it was almost midnight and she had been listening to Paramore on repeat for 3 hours. Regardless of the reason, her command made Seto pause glancing back over his shoulder, “If you fire me then I can go home and if the images aren’t perfect it won’t be on my conscience?”

At that moment a million puppies died as hell froze over because… Seto cracked a small smirk.

“Make it perfect and I’ll promote you.”

“Deal.”

-Tuesday 9:06pm-

Tap tap tap, Amie hummed along with the Supremes as she tapped her stylist on the table waiting for the computer to render. She was oh so close to being done. A stack of science books next to her because she also had a quiz tomorrow she may or may not have studied for.

“Jeff ditch you again?” A voice broke into her song as the rude voice pulled an earbud out.

Lucky for this intrusive voice Amie had a soft spot for him.

“At this point, I would be annoyed if he didn’t,” she said spinning around in her chair which caused her headphones to unplug the song blasting across the editing bay.

“What is this?” Mokuba asked raising an eyebrow. Amie let out a gasp.

“Mokuba! Don’t tell me you have never heard the Supremes!”

“Nope. It sounds kind of… Chick”

“It’s very chick. They are in love with love, listen.” clicking on You Can’t Hurry Love she started swinging around in her chair to the music.

“I guess it’s ok…”

“Chair dance! Grab a chair”

“Ooookk” Mokuba knew better than to argue with Amie once the clock passed 8:45. That was when she had her third cup of coffee and the weird ideas started.

Three songs later Mokuba and Amie were rolling in a very impressive choreographed routine across the isles of computers screaming “I Want You Back” By the Jackson 5 at the tops of their lungs.

“Good to see there is a lot of work going on in here.”

Amie laughed turning to see Seto leaning   the door frame, “Are you the only one who ever stays late?”

“I would say yes but you are here.”

“I’m here too!” Mokuba said scooting his chair next to Amie reminding her that he was, in fact, also there.

“Yeah, but you don’t work here, just make everything better.”

Mokuba laughed flipping his thick black hair, “I do don’t I.”

“Well, It’s time to go,” Seto said nodding toward this brother. Mokuba nodded getting up pushing his chair back to its rightful desk. “And Amie.”

Dear God, he knew her name… did the world just stop spinning or was that her heart? Amie wasn’t sure if it was that annoying crush on his pretty blue eyes or the fact that he was basically her boss and had the power to ruin her animator dreams.

“Go home, the project will be there tomorrow.”

Ok, the world really had stopped, had she somehow entered some paralleled universe? Had THE Seto Kaiba just told one of his employees to STOP working? “Uhhhh, Yes sir.”

Mentally she kicked herself as she slowly rolled back to her desk feeling her cheeks heat up. Mokuba watching her as she quickly saved the project before closing down her computer. Shit girl, could you get any weirder?

-Monday 10:17pm-

Nothing had changed yet everything had changed.

Amie had quit last week. Jeff had blamed her on the whole project crumbling and when she stood there in front of a angry Seto she broke. She didn’t deserve this. She worked harder than anyone else at this fucking editing lab and had covered that dick weed’s back so many times and he just threw her to the flipping wolves.

I mean SURE Seto Kaiba’s rage was probably the most frighting thing Amie had EVER seen in her life but even facing his dragon size temper she wouldn’t have thrown a teammate under the bus like that.

She didn’t deserve this.

Which is what she told Seto.

He had stood there wide-eyed in pure shock. No one had EVER quit Kaiba corp before. With the best pay and benefits, there was a reason people put up with the companies CEO.

But not her.

She had been done.

Until the famous CEO showed up at her apartment door telling her that he needed more people like her on his team. People who cared about their craft and did this because they loved it not because of the money or prestige of it all.  

So goodbye Jeff and hello personal editing lab.

This didn’t mean she still didn’t have late night because… well, nights seemed to be her magic time.

A cup of coffee slid into her peripheral. Glancing over Amie almost had a heart attack seeing Seto standing over her desk.

“You just jumped almost a mile.”

“Well, you just scared the hell out of me.”

“Mokuba will literally rip your headphones out of your ear and you will not flinch.”

“But I’m expecting him…” Amie bit her lip trying to find the right words as she took the coffee taking a sip her dark brown eyes not leaving Setos, “What’s up?”

“Just checking in,” he said taking a chair and sitting down next to her.

Well fuck, there was NO way she could work with those blue eyes watching her. And at this close range, he smelled good too. Of course, he would smell good, he’s a rich CEO he probably bathed in Versace. She, on the other hand, probably smelled like coffee and insecurity.

They both sat in silence for a moment then Amie turned to him, “Do you want me to like explain where I am or something?”

“If you want.”

“Helpful”

“Pardon?”

Shit, did she just say that out loud? Whoooops. Maybe she could quit again?

“Uhhh I mean… well at the moment I am coming up with color pallets for each character. Like what shades we want for them so that regardless of who is animating the character they will always look the same.”

Seto nodded as he watched her click through the files copy and pasting the code into a document before going back to the Coral Dragon she had been working on adjusting the shades trying to brighten up his wings just a little bit more.

“I would add more undertones of red”

You can’t say no to the boss, so she pulled up the color wheel moving it, “Like that,”

“Just a bit more… yeah there.”

“Ohhh I like that. Guess you’re the boss for a reason.” Amie could feel his eyes on her but for the first time, she didn’t feel so tense like maybe they had just had a breakthrough. Bonded? Maybe just a little.

Mokuba found his brother and Amie a few hours later still in Amie’s new office going over characters. Seto pointing out changes and Amie suggesting ways to make it work. Both of them seemed to relax and just working in harmony that Mokuba didn’t want to bother them.

It was nice to see his brother actually enjoying himself.

-Friday 11:11pm-

“No stop touching!” Amie snapped swatting away Seto’s hand as he tried to direct her on the computer. It was already very late and everyone else had left for the day but Amie had stayed trying to fix the editing issues they kept running into. Her pink hair pulled up in a messy bun several pencils lost inside the mess. Must like her mood at the moment.

“You are doing it wrong”

“No, you are just messing me up being this close”

“I don’t see how me being close would mess you up, just do your job.”

“It’s the blue eyes.”

“What?”

“They need to be at least 5 feet away from me,” Amie said turning to look at her boss who was only a few inches from her looking over her shoulder trying to direct her work on the new dueling virtual game. This seemed to be happening a lot more. Seto popping in and not leaving. Normally Amie didn’t hate it but today… today something was just bothering her about how close the CEO was to her.

Seto turned slightly as if he finally realized how close he was to her. Something she had been feeling all night.

“Then again they are pretty nice this close up.” Amie snickered coffee brain kicking in. Words she was thinking seeming like a good idea said aloud.

“Are… you flirting with me right now?”

“Wait you haven't been?” Amie laughed deciding to call him out, “You had your arm on my shoulder for like 20 minutes telling me how to do my job while we worked on the graphic for the points counter.”

This caused Seto to pull away. Amie felt her stomach clunch. Shit, shit she had just made things super awkward. Deciding to just play it cool she turned back to her screen, pushed some loose strands of her hair away from her face.

She continued her work trying to ignore the mess of butterflies in her stomach until they all lept and died at the feeling of a hand on hers. She turned, confused about to ask what Seto was doing only to have him kiss her.

Soft and sweet. A little clumsy as if he really didn’t know what he was doing but he was confident in it. She found it funny how confident he was really. It was one of the things she liked about him. How confident he was. That and how dorky he was. Her confident dork.

Leaning forward she kissed him back trying to fight back the smile that was on her lips.

They were never going to get this project done in time.

Yep, Amie was a night person. How could she not be when all the best things happened?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~Who Wants to be tagged?~

[jennasims]

I saw the Get to Know Me Tag floating around and I wanted to try it out. It’s also been a while since I’ve made my simself! I’m not always mad but I do have a quick temper thus my face up above. Under the cut is the rest of the questions.

I was not tagged but I tag anyone that wants to do it!

RULES: Post a pic of your simself with your traits and answer the questions!

Traits: Bookworm, Hot-headed, Foodie

1. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME? Jenna

2. WHAT IS YOUR NICKNAME? most of my nicknames in life are based off of my last name sooooo....

3. BIRTHDAY? February 5

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BOOK SERIES? I read a lot of books, mostly stand alones. I guess Hunger Games?

5. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ALIENS OR GHOSTS? yes and yes

6. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE AUTHOR? Courtney Summers

7. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE RADIO STATION? Alt Nation on xm radio, or my spotify

8. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR OF ANYTHING? blue raspberry!!

9. WHAT WORD WOULD YOU USE OFTEN TO DESCRIBE SOMETHING GREAT OR WONDERFUL? amazing

10. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT FAVORITE SONG? &Run by Sir Sly

11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE WORD? I don’t think I have a favorite word! maybe zesty

12. WHAT WAS THE LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO? something off the new 21P album, can’t remember the name

13. WHAT TV SHOW WOULD YOU RECOMMEND FOR EVERYBODY TO WATCH? Gilmore Girls, Brooklyn 99, Parks & Rec, Chef’s Table, Parts Unknown w/ Anthony Bourdain (RIP)

14. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE TO WATCH WHEN YOU’RE FEELING DOWN? I like to watch RuPaul’s Drag Race when I’m feeling terrible, I don’t have the attention span for movies.

15. DO YOU PLAY VIDEO GAMES? mostly Sims, but I like Animal Crossing and Pokemon

16. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR? dying alone

17. WHAT IS YOUR BEST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? I’m really passionate about things when I want to be

18. WHAT IS YOUR WORST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? sometimes I can be distant to close family and friends

19. DO YOU LIKE CATS OR DOGS BETTER? I love both but my kitty is the best boy

20. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? Fall, but summer in Maine is always great

21. ARE YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP? yeah with myself thank u next

22. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU MISS FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD? No responsibilities NO BILLS

23. WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND? Kat + Jess

24. WHAT IS YOUR EYE COLOR? blue

25. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR? brown with blonde streaks

26. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU LOVE? My family and my friends and my cat

27. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU TRUST? Kat

28. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN? my friends from school who I haven’t seen in ages

29. ARE YOU CURRENTLY EXCITED ABOUT/FOR SOMETHING? Christmas? trying to plan a trip for next year too so maybe that if it comes through!!

30. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST OBSESSION? Coffeeeeee

31. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW AS A CHILD? Spongebob + Rugrats

32. WHO OF THE OPPOSITE GENDER CAN YOU TELL ANYTHING TO, IF ANYONE? I don’t think I could tell any man ANYTHING right now but there are some I’ll tell a lot to.

33. ARE YOU SUPERSTITIOUS? a little bit!

34. DO YOU HAVE ANY UNUSUAL PHOBIAS? I hate rodents!!!

35. DO YOU PREFER TO BE IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA OR BEHIND IT? a little bit of both but it’s usually me behind the camera

36. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE HOBBY? reading, writing, cooking, Sims

37. WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? Where She Went by Gayle Forman

38. WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? some christmas movie on netflix I already forget what it was called

39. WHAT MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? I played the flute for about two weeks in the 5th grade

40. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL? Cats & dogs but I also love bears

41. WHAT ARE YOUR TOP 5 FAVORITE TUMBLR BLOGS THAT YOU FOLLOW? uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

42. WHAT SUPERPOWER DO YOU WISH YOU HAD? to stop time

43. WHEN AND WHERE DO YOU FEEL MOST AT PEACE? On the couch or out in the woods with a bowl

44. WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE? nature! good music

45. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? lol sports. sometimes I do yoga

46. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DRINK? fountain sprite or Dunks coffee

47. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A HAND-WRITTEN LETTER OR NOTE TO SOMEBODY? today! I sent my friend a gift in the mail

48. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? a little bit

49. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? impolite and closeminded people

50. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A CONCERT? [pasdfiosjfkjlasdk yeah I’ve been to a TON because I’m a concert junkie

51. ARE YOU VEGAN/VEGETARIAN? nah

52. WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE, WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GREW UP? A teacher/a journalist/an actress

53. WHAT FICTIONAL WORLD WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE IN? maybe Hogwarts?

54. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WORRY ABOUT? losing someone very important to me, being unable to pay my bills

55. ARE YOU SCARED OF THE DARK? only like, PITCH BLACK dark

56. DO YOU LIKE TO SING? I love singing along but I think I’m terrible

57. HAVE YOU EVER SKIPPED SCHOOL? not in HS but lots in college to smoke weed on the beach

58. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE ON THE PLANET? the beach!!! I love love love the water

59. WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE? I like where I am now a lot

60. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? a kitty cat named Poe

61. ARE YOU MORE OF AN EARLY BIRD OR A NIGHT OWL? a night owl, I’m up way too late for my own good

62. DO YOU LIKE SUNRISES OR SUNSETS BETTER? Sunsets

63. DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DRIVE? yes

64. DO YOU PREFER EARBUDS OR HEADPHONES? headphones 

65. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES? yes

66. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE GENRE OF MUSIC? I like pretty much everything but rap/country

67. WHO IS YOUR HERO? my mom

68. DO YOU READ COMIC BOOKS? not really

69. WHAT MAKES YOU THE MOST ANGRY? lol my road rage is real

70. DO YOU PREFER TO READ ON AN ELECTRONIC DEVICE OR WITH A REAL BOOK? mostly real books but don’t mind electronic devices

71. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? History & English

72. DO YOU HAVE ANY SIBLINGS? older brother + older sister

73. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? coffee

74. HOW TALL ARE YOU? 5′3″

75. CAN YOU COOK? yes I love to cook

76. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU LOVE? laughing, listening to others, adventures

77. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU HATE? confrontation when it doesn’t involve me, emotions, stupid heads

78. DO YOU HAVE MORE FEMALE FRIENDS OR MORE MALE FRIENDS? even mix I’d say

79. WHAT IS YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION? straight

80. WHERE DO YOU CURRENTLY LIVE? Maine

81. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TEXTED? my friend

82. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? on Monday lol

83. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE YOUTUBER? like a lot of Youtubers tbh

84. DO YOU LIKE TO TAKE SELFIES? every once in a while

85. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE APP? Instagram

86. WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARENT(S) LIKE? I love them both and they love me! sometimes my mom and I butt heads but we’re just both really headstrong lol

87. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOREIGN ACCENT? British & New Zealand

88. WHAT IS A PLACE THAT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO, BUT YOU WANT TO VISIT? Sweden 

89. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? 5

90. CAN YOU JUGGLE? nope

91. ARE YOU RELIGIOUS? not really

92. DO YOU FIND OUTER SPACE OF THE DEEP OCEAN TO BE MORE INTERESTING? deep ocean!! 

93. DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF TO BE A DAREDEVIL? sometimes

94. ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING? nope

95. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? yes

96. CAN YOU WIGGLE YOUR EARS? nope

97. HOW OFTEN DO YOU ADMIT THAT YOU WERE WRONG ABOUT SOMETHING? ahahahaha every once in a while I guess

98. DO YOU PREFER THE FOREST OR THE BEACH? beach!!

99. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIECE OF ADVICE THAT ANYONE HAS EVER GIVEN YOU? control what you can // confront what you can’t // always remember how lucky you are to have yourself

100. ARE YOU A GOOD LIAR? yes with small lies

101. WHAT IS YOUR HOGWARTS HOUSE? Ravenclaw

102. DO YOU TALK TO YOURSELF? all the timeeee

103. ARE YOU AN INTROVERT OR AN EXTROVERT? depends on the day

104. DO YOU KEEP A JOURNAL/DIARY? I try to keep one but it never works

105. DO YOU BELIEVE IN SECOND CHANCES? depends on the circumstance

106. IF YOU FOUND A WALLET FULL OF MONEY ON THE GROUND, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? Return it to the owner (if I can find the address & it isn’t too far) otherwise bring it to the police station

107. DO YOU BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE ARE CAPABLE OF CHANGE? Yes, but not always.

108. ARE YOU TICKLISH? verrrry

109. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A PLANE? yes I love to fly I wish I did it more

110. DO YOU HAVE ANY PIERCINGS? just my ears

111. WHAT FICTIONAL CHARACTER DO YOU WISH WAS REAL? meh

112. DO YOU HAVE ANY TATTOOS? yes “(un)lost” on my wrist

113. WHAT IS THE BEST DECISION THAT YOU’VE MADE IN YOUR LIFE SO FAR? move to Maine by myself

114. DO YOU BELIEVE IN KARMA? yes she’s a bitch

115. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES OR CONTACTS? nope

116. DO YOU WANT CHILDREN? maybe someday! too early in my life to tell

117. WHO IS THE SMARTEST PERSON YOU KNOW? my older brother

118. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING MEMORY? god why ask

119. HAVE YOU EVER PULLED AN ALL-NIGHTER? yes many times

120. WHAT COLOR ARE MOST OF YOU CLOTHES? Dark blue/gray/black

121. DO YOU LIKE ADVENTURES? YES!!

122. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON TV? yeah! I was on the Today Show when I was 10 

123. HOW OLD ARE YOU? 23

124. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE QUOTE? always be your own sunshine

125. DO YOU PREFER SWEET OR SAVORY FOODS? i’ve got a lethal sweet tooth

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S1 Ep 25: Yugi Has (Another) Melt Down

It’s the weekend, so lets sit down to some Yugioh. Recently, our protagonist has had a pretty big break up--with himself.  Pharaoh was either just so exasperated or just so drained that he didn’t even show up this episode, I gather because he’s still pissed that Yugi didn’t do a murder.

Yugi’s voice actor, I’m sure, breathed a sigh of relief because sometimes it’s super apparent that this is just one guy arguing with himself in a sound booth and he sometimes doesn’t fully flip form person to person as he’s jumping up and down 2 octaves.

So, Yugi does what people do when they break up, by flopping down catatonic at the steps of Generic Castle.

If you’re the same age as the kids I work with who think Greenday is “retro,” first of all, how dare you, and second of all, you’re probably too young to know the most emo album of the 00′s, Transantlanticism, AKA the album that gave America depression for about 4 years. I guess you too-young children don’t get know the sound of slowly sinking into a tar pit while beautiful little birds cry on your face.

Anyway, I just erased about 5 rants about smol kids calling the the Killers “retro”, so I’ll segway back to the anime at hand before I do it, yet again. Uf, my weakness.

Yugi’s friends are doing whatever they can to try and reach Yugi without actually doing the emotional labor of trying to reach Yugi. They can physically move him around (and my guess is that they’ve just been picking him up by the scruff of the neck like a kitten and just walking him place to place.) When they straight up ask what they can do, he has a predictable reply of no reply at all.

(read more under the cut)

Like I make fun of this show a lot, but this is some interesting stuff. I have seen so many people wax long about Sailor Moon for their college theses but, very few get on the Yugioh train despite the fact that there’s some good literary action going on here. You have to parse through some voice acting but, I mean--we’ve all seen the original Sailor Moon dub.

It’s also completely--sorry I’m listening to Transatlanticism as I type this and they just got to the cowbells. Gotta live in the moment for a little bit. Ugh, so good. OK, cowbells over--anyways, this show is also completely nutballs, but it’s a shame that it’s reputation for being a wacky nutballs extravaganza distract from the fact that there’s some clever subtle(-ish) stuff going on underneath it.

So, lets dive a wee bit deeper. Not super far mind you, most of those waaaay too deep college anime papers are nonsense that the student wrote at 4AM on 5 redbulls (SO ENTERTAINING THOUGH), but, lets step back about 3 or 4 episodes from here.

I realized something kind of obvious that went right over my head until this episode. It’s a riddle:

A boy walking through the woods comes to a crossroads. Two twins are standing there, and they explain one lies and one tells the truth, and one way down the fork is certain death and the other way is the way home. The boy decides “Oh, yeah, I know this one,” and starts solving the riddle, but then realizes very quickly that both the twins are liars. The riddle cannot be solved. Either fork in the road will always lead to death.

At the time I didn’t understand the riddle, I looked online and got only other confused people, but now it makes sense why there was no real answer. Yugi and Pharaoh are the two lying twins at the crossroads. Yugi and Pharaoh are a type of twin: they look the same, they finish each other’s thoughts, they both can’t stop withholding information, they also share the same body.

The riddle of ParaDox wasn’t really about how to get out of the labyrinth, it was to illustrate this choice that Yugi will never be able to make. He cannot be cured. He can’t escape his mind-labyrinth. While Yugi could choose to completely become the Pharaoh or completely become Yugi, both choices would end in a type of death for the other.

And apparently, Yugi deciding to go full-Yugi is a lot like watching Windows reboot itself on safe mode.

Bless this story boarder.

Nice of Mai to show up just a few minutes too late. She could have just given 5 chips to Kaiba but whatever. Speaking of Kaiba.

And that’s where Kaiba’s gonna be for the rest of the episode. Kaiba’s walking speed must be at an ants pace to explain this season.

Meanwhile, Mai decides to show off her own strange form of tough love. It’s very similar to Joeys, and very much not what Yugi needs right now. Can anyone on this show recognize what a break down looks like?

At least everyone else’s weird approach to self care does make for good TV.

Maybe it was poor animation but I really think based on other people’s reactions that she was trying to fake punch the kid. Seems to be a normal reaction in the Yugioh universe to just punch punch punch until it all works out.

Also Mai is way more productive than the rest of them combined. It’s kind of unfair that the clearly best player here is clearly not going to win this tourney. I’d do the math exactly, I exaggerated for this panel, but I believe she won 10 chips in one day? About?

The show never actually has Yugi say “I don’t want help, leave me alone.” but about ten episodes back we saw this same exchange with Mai and Yugi but in the reverse. Interesting parallel. Of course, now it’s got the added element of no one wants to be the first to tell Mai that Yugi nearly killed the head of Kaiba Corp. Youknow...the people who are, in fact, funding and hosting this tournament.

I mean I guess it would be weird to bring up that 10 minutes ago Kaiba was standing on a ledge and Yugi was flinging a hologram yo-yo at him but what could be weirder than this already is?

Tea can duel!? I mean I guess we saw her deck once, back when Bakura talked shop before he youknow...turned them into cards...but man, I thought everyone on the show would end up dueling before Tea does.

So, they decided to hike all the way to platform 15. I haven’t been keeping track of their numbers but like...how many are even on this island? How many are hanging out never to be used again because No One Lives Here?

So is Tea any good at cards? I mean she’s not NOT not dating a card wizard Pharaoh.

She’s not. She’s not good at cards. I mean...she’s Tea.

Also, Tea never shuts up about the power of friendship through this whole fight. It was like...girl there comes a point. You passed the point. This is past the comfortable point.

Why, Tea?

I get the feeling that this show was written by writers who knew their forte and it was not romance.

This shot right here is the closest we’ve gotten to romance this season. Incredible.

And again, I don’t want it to happen, I’m just surprised that the writers didn’t, either.

Joey kinda leans over to Yugi after a while and is like “IS ANY OF THIS GETTING TO YOU!? CAN YOU HEAR ME LIL BUDDY!?” and Yugi’s like “I’m standing right next to you!”

It’s during this that Mai delivers some hard to swallow pills. Things that aren’t necessarily wrong.

We got the only two girls on a show that funnels girls into the emotional support role fighting it out to see who has the right form of moral support. The honest answer is they both do, in their own weird way.

Tea standing up to Mai inspires Yugi to stand up to his dark side, because apparently Mai is just a darkside version of Tea? Kind of a weird thing to inspire him but the episode needed a clean solution to this problem that they’ve already told us can’t ever be solved.

Yugi’s eyes dilate back to their normal scary hell state, he makes eye contact with his friends again, and he is ready to move this plot forward.

Because...Tea? I dunno.

GOL THIS FACE.

So lets get this straight--he hasn’t spoken a word to Pharaoh, he’s just decided "Well Tea can’t be wrong so we’re good now” and booked it straight for card wizard Magic Palace? Again, this bizarre heel turn would actually make sense if these two had shown any sort of...wait...

Did they have to edit out the romance in post? Is that what happened? That’s what happened, wasn’t it?

Anyways, next week, on Yugioh, maybe we’ll get an actual resolution to this problem. Also:

Who will Yugi almost kill next? Will Kaiba have to walk down yet another hallway with a big ass endless rug? Is Bandit Keith just lounging in Pegasus’ infinity pool drinking strawberry juice out of a wine glass through all this?

[purplesurveys]

229

What are you doing to improve or maintain your health currently? Well my scoliosis is getting worse by the day, so I keep myself from slouching and being in any position that strains the part of my spine that bends. Gabie also lent me an anti-slouching thing that I have to wear and tighten around my shoulders and back. It has nothing to do with scolio, but it helps tons. ^To add to that, what are some other things you could be doing? The doctor I went to before suggested swimming laps, but I’ve never done that ever since I had the checkup. I also want to get a second X-ray checked since I’m positive my spine has gotten worse since May 2016. How much do you currently weigh? It’s usually in the 87-95 lbs range. How much do you want to weigh? I’m okay with that, even if it’s underweight.

Do you ever look at someone's social media posts and feel a little jealous? Yeah, a little. But it’s envious, not jealous.

^If so, why is that? They have all these luxuries and get to go to all these places and I’m stuck at home with a mom that routinely yells at me. Idk but for me those social media posts are a bit of a trigger so I mute those people for a bit until they’re done. What book(s) are you currently reading? None. What chores did you do today? It’s pretty early in the day and I haven’t even gotten out of bed yet. What chores do you need to do? The only thing I’m in charge of is wash my own dishes so I’ll be doing that once or twice today. What are you wearing currently? A blouse and some shorts. Do you like how your hair looks today? It’s just bed hair. It’s alright. Are you on a diet? Nope. List 10 of the prettiest people you know or have met. Gabie, Michelle, Gabe, Ate Nica, Ate Jane, Audrey, Gabie, Gabie, Gabie, and Gabie? List 10 favorite girl's names. Isabela, Renée, Olivia, Arden, Audrey, Mia, Ava, Charlotte, Noelle, Harper. We’re going out of bounds here but Paulette, Lily, and Julianna are all lovely too. List 10 favorite boy's names. Joaquin, Franco, Miguel, Luis, Gabriel, Pio, Santi, Javier, Lorenzo, Matteo. Do you think you are attractive? I think I’m okay, but I’m not gonna go ahead and call myself attractive... Do you have anyone you can trust? Of course. What are some things you plan to do tomorrow? I said yes to a Christmas party tomorrow so I’ll be there, but before that I’ll stop by the mall to pick up Gabie’s gift. She’s been wanting Life Is Strange, so I coordinated with her dad in secret–he’ll be getting her a new PS4, and I’ll take care of her first video game on it. :) Are you behind on things? Usually on gossip, yeah. Do you take time to rest? More than anything. HAHAHA What health problem are you struggling with currently? Mental health and scoliosis.

What does your heart long for? Right now it just wants a long-ass Christmas break just hibernating in my room. No plans, no outings, no interruptions. What are you learning? I’ve recently learned that I increasingly hate the holiday season with every year that passes. Do you take life day by day? Only when I’m at my worst and have to keep a daily progress/track of myself. Otherwise, I’m too impatient for taking things day by day. Have you been struggling with bitterness lately? Not at all, there’s nothing to be bitter about. Do you have a lot of questions? As a journalism major? You bet. Is it snowing where you live? No and it never has. Do you watch the snow fall? I totally would if it snowed here. List 10 fashion trends you like. Too much work. List 10 fashion trends you dislike. See above. I don’t even actually remember enough trends to make a list of 20, so. Are you ready for Jesus to come back? I’m not Christian and I really don’t like celebrating Christmas. Do you believe that Jesus lived and is returning? I believe in neither. What's your current favorite Bible verse? None of them. When was the last time you went to church? Two weeks ago. I got to skip last week’s since I was being initiated for my org and I had never felt so free. Are you spiritual? No. Have you ever experienced anything supernatural? Like one small instance in my aunt’s house once, but as I said in my previous surveys I like to think it was just my grandfather fooling around with the door. Do you believe in spiritual gifts? No. Do you believe in callings? No. If so, do you know what your call is? Nothing religious, definitely. What superpower do you wish you had? Time travel is all I desire in this brief lifetime. What superpowers, if any, DO you have? I can whip up a 5-6 page essay assignment in 30 minutes to an hour depending on how much I know about it. I can also procrastinate every single pending thing on the last evening and turn it from chicken shit to chicken salad, but college has since taught me it’s SOOOOOO much better to do everything earlier, so that’s a superpower I haven’t been using much. Do you have too much clutter in your home? No, my mom hates clutter more than anything. Have you ever tried weed? No. Have you ever considered smoking pot and then decided not to? Never considered it even once. It just never seemed appealing to me so I never bothered with it, simple as that. Have you ever smoked a cigarette? Never. Now that I strongly dislike, since I have my own experiences from it. If you were rich, would you get a professional photoshoot done? Absolutely. I can be extra sometimes too. Do you own slipper socks? Nope. What's your favorite Christmas carol to hear playing when you're shopping? Anything by Michael Bublé, really. Do you stalk anyone on Facebook? I don’t. Stalking just feels weird to me, especially if it’s a stranger or a relative of someone I know. Have you ever completed a 30 day photo challenge? No but I used to do the themed 30-day challenges when they used to be a thing on Tumblr like seven years ago. Have you ever taken a photo every day for a year? No. I should probably do that. ^If not, would you ever want to try that? Totally. Have you ever thought about what your new year's resolution will be yet? I don’t do resolutions. I can always start on a new habit tomorrow if I wanted to. Do you get enough exercise? I get zero exercise. Are jeggings your favorite pants? Never had a pair but they sound kind of uncomfortable to me, being that I hate leggings. Do you have way too many photos stored on your computer? No. I actually make it a point to not put photos or videos or anything on my laptop since I don’t want it to become to full and then slow down and have it die. I only have school stuff on my Mac so like PDF files, Word files, e-books and all that boringness. Do you take a lot of selfies? I took an average of 0 selfies this 2017, that should tell you something. What is something that's a mystery to you? The rest of the universe. Do you have any painful memories? My entire life has been just an accummulation of painful memories. Do you pray? No.

In what social class are you? I guess I’m in the middle. In what social class to you wish to be? Indifference. Do you ever imagine that you are English royalty? HAHAHAHA yeah on a sucky day I like to think I’m secretly one then they’d whisk me away from everything and I never had to worry about a thing again. Do you have any English ancestry in you? Zero English blood. What is the origin of your last name? It’s Spanish and Portuguese. What is the meaning of your first name? It means bright and shining.

^Whatever it is, do you feel that it fits you? Other people can answer that for me. Do you ever multi-task? Yes. Are you multi-tasking right now Nope.

[jonjost]

Dublin, Trinity College

Since last posting here, time seems to have zipped along with my geographic coordinates. From Belfast to Dublin to Amsterdam and Brussels, a jaunt to Ghent, Paris, Locarno, Cassina Amata near Milano, Piangipane near Ravenna, Bologna and now in Mondello, on the flanks of Palermo.  Each not only a physical place, unique to itself, but a node of personal acquaintances, people known decades and brand new, each in the midst of their own jangled worlds. I soak it in, inquisitive as ever, in the moment and then on leaving one place and entering another, into a new world.  It’s been ever so for me.

In Dublin, generously hosted by Maeve Foreman, I was lucky to have a little inside edge. Maeve is well-connected with her neighborhood and her city, and that opened doors that otherwise would surely have remained closed.  Lucky me, I got a better glimpse of the place than I would have otherwise.  Thanks Maeve.

Maeve Foreman

The Long Room, library at Trinity College, where Maeve taught

The museums in Dublin are all free, so I wasn’t economically locked out as I am in many places asking 20 or 25 Euro to enter, so I had a nice look at what was available to see.  A pleasure.  For more on Dublin see this.

[Maeve is the mother of Donal Foreman, whose film The Image You Missed has been getting extensive and well-deserved exposure on the global festival circuit.  Once I again get settled down it’s my intention to write a long piece on it.  If you haven’t seen, try to – it is a wonderful, highly watchable, complex film and personal film which manages to expand itself into the universal.]

Next was Amsterdam where I was able to see long-term friend Errol Sawyer, since 1964, and stay a week thanks to Mathilde.  While there I got to see the people at Eyefilm, the Netherlands archive, which holds all my originals and is in process of making 4K prints of some of them.  Had a talk about what more needs to be done.  Slow going but going.

Museums… well, I was priced out.  And even in this way-out-of-season time, Amsterdam was crawling with too many tourists, warping the ambience of the city into a playground of a kind that is becoming all too familiar around the globe.

Buddha and me

And then it was on to Brussels, to visit with Peter and Karolina, now in a new place.  And where I had screenings at the old Nova-Cinema, where I’d done screenings some ages ago.  They went well, with nice audiences and good Q&A’s.  Thanks to Katia, who was running the place way back when and still does.  As well had a screening at the film school there, thanks to Justin McKenzie Peers, who, despite his name, is French, studying for now in Brussels.  He also helped organize the Nova-Cinema showings and is doing some translations for some of my films.  And also appears to be writing perhaps a grad thesis or something on my work.

A surprise for me was that in one of the screenings a 16mm print of Angel City was shown, which seemed pristine and clean.  I at first thought that Eyefilm had made a new copy and not told me, but it turned out it was one that I had sent them.  I urgently wish to get a 4K print of it, along with one of Last Chants for a Slow Dance, an archival print of which Eyefilm has made before either gets dinged up.  Things to do or get done.

Managed some museums in Brussels, including the Magritte one, which was a bit of a revelation, as it covered his early work, and his Warhol-like self-promotion.   He is, in my view, like Warhol in that he is less an artist than a graphics person – someone who illustrates ideas rather than actually “paints.”  A curious distinction perhaps, but one I think is valid.

The classical arts museum in Brussels has a wonderful collection of Breughels and other painters of that time and that snared me some hours.

Brussels

While in Brussels managed a day-trip to Ghent, not so far away – one of many places I’ve missed over the years, along with Antwerp and, oh hell, a lot of other places.

Ghent

And then it was on to Paris to visit Mark Rappaport, and get in just little bit of a city I’d lived in for nearly a year and a half back in 1997-98.  Mark was doing fine, busy making new video essays, of which I saw a handful I’d not seen before.  Mark is a wizard, making things about topics I don’t much give a damn about (arcane film lore and history) come alive and branch out far from cinemania into fascinating and engaging social essays. One of them had me in tears at the end, another busting my gut laughing!  The ones I saw were America’s Grandpa, about Walter Brennan, and soon to be available on Kanopy and I, Dalio.   He’s busy working on a new one now.

Also stayed a few days with Peter Friedman who was finishing a long documentary, a cinéma vérité portrait of a big time opera director, Robert Carsen, filmed working on an  adaption Leonard Bernstein’s Candide. I got to see this film and liked it quite a lot. It covered both the technical and preparatory stuff of putting on a really big piece of theater, and then on working with the singers, the “directing.”  Fascinating stuff and well done cinema-wise.  A pleasure.

Like Amsterdam, Paris crawled with tourists in the no longer existent off-season, and seemed much the worse for it.  Mass tourism is a pox of globalism.  I wonder what will happen to all these places that now rely on tourism as a major cash-crutch when the economy goes poof, and the tourists disappear?  I know all too many places which put a lot of eggs in the tourism basket and are utterly vulnerable to this most certain collapse.

One of the many effects of neo-liberal globalism

Paris

Also managed to see Emmannuele Chaulet, who played a lead role in 1999 in All the Vermeers in New York.  I hadn’t seen her in nearly three decades !  A nice talkative lunch with a lot to catch up on.

And I tried to rendezvous with the Gilets Jaunes, just to get a look, and went to where they were supposed to be, but did not see them.  I think they are being wily and saying they’ll be in place X to draw the police there, and then they materialize somewhere else.  Here a month now since I was there they are still around though the media seems to do its best to ignore them – a little corporate commentary in that?  Especially the American press.  And Macron has enlisted the military to attempt to impose control.

I took a train on to Milano for a quick stop to leave things with the Grassi/Rebosio’s before heading on to Locarno to do something for Lech Kowalski – I didn’t really know what he wanted, but was game for whatever.  On the ride through Grenoble, in the French Alps, I noticed there was only snow, and not so much, at the highest elevations of the surrounding mountains.  Normally there would be a lot of snow on the ground in the city at this time of year.

In Locarno Lech did a multiple camera thing of me talking, not being interviewed, on subjects he guided me towards with his students manning the cameras and sound.  Await word from him on just how it worked for him and am ready to do more on request. Along the way part of my job was to go with eager students enamored of the wonders of real film (celluloid) and shoot a bit – me, the grizzled old dinosaur of “real film.”  I have zero romance for celluloid, so it was a curious exercise.   I think the experience may have disabused them of any fantasies about it.

While in Locarno I noticed there too the mid-winter mountains empty of snow.  A dammed reservoir we went to see was maybe 1/3rd full.  The river below it was a not even a trickle.

Dam near Locarno

Back outside of Milano, in Cassina Amata, I stayed a week with Tilde and Luciano.  When Tilde was 10, in 1962, her family had picked my up hitch-hiking outside of Como, and taken me home and in a curious turn of events I returned and spent 2 months with them in 1963, shooting my first film as a portrait of Tilde.  A year later I returned another month and they (the Rebosio’s) somehow became “family.”   I tried to find them for some decades afterwards and failed, but courtesy of FaceBook, about 8 years or was it 7 or 6, we reconnected and I’ve visiting a handful of times since.  To “family.”  Life is very weird.

The last evening there, Luciano and Tilde took me out to Monza, site of the famed Formula 1 racetrack, to a fish place were we had a wonderful and vast serving of fried (lightly) sea things, most delicious.  As we walked there we went by the river, the Lambro, which flows down from the mountains into the Po.   Except it wasn’t there, rather a concrete trench with a few puddles.  Luciano said he had never seen it like that.

House in Cassina Amata, 1963

Tilde in my first film, Portrait

Then took a train on down to little Piangipane, a village not far from Ravenna, there to re-record music we’d done in autumn of 2017.  I’d not been happy with my voice or my guitar playing and asked Christian Ravaglioli if I could take another stab at it, having practiced in the intervening year and more, and feeling much more at ease and confident in both voice and playing.  We ended re-recording most of the songs and he agreed it was much better.  Albums are due out in June or so.   One solo and one a mix of my work and Christian’s.  When they do come out I’ll post word here.

Christian Ravaglioli

From Piangipane it was to nearby Bologna, to visit my friend Pina, who was just quitting her job after 15 years as a chef in a vegetarian restaurant in the middle of the city, to strike out on her own.  She has one book, Vegetaliana, a vegetarian cookbook rooted in Italian cuisine, and just collaborated on another project centered on Bologna’s most famous artist of late, Giorgio Morandi.

Pina Siotto

Bologna

And then it was on to Palermo, where I’d originally planned to spend the time looking around for a place to live for the coming year or more, before returning to the USA for retrospectives planned for autumn-winter 2020.  But in the interim a proposal came in from the US West Coast, which altered my plans.  So following a stop in London to see friends it will be on to Seattle and a new adventure.  See how it all works out.

In Palermo its been a mix of take-it-easy in Mondello, the next door beach town of Palermo, where off-season the weekdays have been quiet, though nice weather has pulled in hordes on the week-ends.

And when the weather has been nice I’ve been going into Palermo, a city I really like, and nosing around.  And finding out my 75 year old creaking body ain’t like it was and finds a day of walking around, looking, taking a ton of photos, is rather taxing and am inclined to take a break the next day, whatever the weather.  Learning to be “old.”

  Baroque Palermo – there’s a lot of it

And quotidian pedestrian Palermo

Palermo has passed through many hands over time, like all of Sicily.  Greek, Roman, Arab, Norman, and on up to American GI’s not so long ago.  All those who seized it or just passed through left their marks, and the the result is a rich intaglio of cultures, in contemporary lingo, a real culture-mashup, a mix-down.  But this one has passed through millennia, and is all the richer for the ripe patina of time.   Often this can result in an oppressive sensibility, that history weighs heavy on the present and acts as a psychic/creative block.  But I don’t sense this in Palermo, which, perhaps thanks to the many immigrants present – from North Africa, and black Africa, Bangladesh, Pakistan, India, and many other places – seems alive and vivid.  It is a city once opulently rich, with a vast array of monumental buildings to show it, and then battered by poverty, the Mafia, and left in the wayside of history.   Not long ago it had been written off as a hopeless wreck, as destroyed as the cars of Falcone and Borsellino were by Mafia assassination bombs.

Since then the city has recovered, in part thanks to a new mayor, Leoluco Orlando, who has largely been credited with the turn-around.    He was originally elected in 1993 and stayed to 2000; in 2012 he was again elected and is the current sindaco.  And surely also instrumental were large student demonstrations against the Mafia in the wake of the murders of the jurists.

In the last 10 years there has been, as elsewhere in the world, a process of gentrification here, though frankly it seems not to have done much damage so far, and some perhaps has been good for the city, like two major streets in the center of town, Emmanuelle Vittorio, and Via Maqueda being turned into pedestrian areas for a bit, along with a few smaller adjacent streets here and there.

Palermo, Palermo, Palermo.  A riotous dream.

  The Oratorio of Santa Cita, by Giacomo Serpotta

And so much more, but for the moment I am out the door for a last go around in Palermo before heading off to London tomorrow.  Tickets in hand.  Moving.

  A Traveler’s Notes Dublin, Trinity College Since last posting here, time seems to have zipped along with my geographic coordinates.

[thegirlwhowrotelove-blog]

Mess’n With Tha Funk Ch. 4

Nayla P.o.V

"Wake up, come on sleeping beauty" Stella said tripping over her shoes while putting her jeans on hoping side to side balancing. I looked up at the clock and realized what time it was I hopped out of bed and ran to the bathroom "Why didn't your alarm turn on"? Stella said as I opened the bathroom door and put toothpaste on my toothbrush and started brushing "Well I thought I did" I said as I looked at the sink water running around the sink.

"It's fine a late tardy will be okay" Stella said "My dad isn't going to kill me yet" She said under her breath as she brushed her hair back and put it in a bun.

Personally I met Stella online, PenPal site  and I started talking to her of course the time difference was strange but we managed and when we couldn't managed we've always found our ways. Stella would always answer her phone to a certain person or people in Korean sadly I can't speak it so it's hard. I never met Stella's mom or dad I don't even know if she has siblings or not but it's okay or whatever because this is my first year with her and I don't blame her for keeping things too personal.

"Come on LA" She said as she grabbed her car keys pressing the unlock button to her car as we heard the car noise and the flashing lights "Okay it's 07:10 am we're good okay" She said taking a deep breath "It'll only take us about 20 minutes to get there if we take this route to Yonsei but if we cut there here then maybe depending on the traffic, okay we're going to be just fine" She said as she started up the car and drove.

"Calm down Stella" I said looking at her with a smile as she looked at me and chuckled "Sorry this isn't like me to just be late or little late I've always been early and perfectly on time" She said as I looked at her "Well nobody's perfect but it doesn't mean to doubt yourself neither so the good thing about life is you keep smiling" I said as she chuckled a little more "What"? I said

"Why such a basic quote" She said as I looked at her "Basic Quote"? I replied

"Yeah you know keep your head up type of quotes" She said "Those quotes you looked up for your instagram post like back in 2014 those type of basic quotes" She included and started to laugh.

"Oh you got jokes" I said as she laughed and I couldn't help but to laugh at how she reacted.

***

"Okay so 12 pm I'll meet you here for our little lunch and what time do you need to be at work"? Stella said putting her purse over her shoulder and her books under her chest while she fixed her look in the reflection of the car window.

"I think at 6:30pm-12pm" I said as she looked up at me and stood there

"12pm!, Don't they care about your education I need to talk to my dad....." She paused "Well you need to talk to them about that because that is so unhealthy I mean it's stupid in my point of view. She said walking beside me.

"I don't mind I think I can handle it" I said as I carried my small designed flower book bag on my back and clicking my Iphone on and off.

"It doesn't matter what you say verbally LA the only thing that matters if it's healthy for you" Stella said.

I forgot she was a different major than me then again she's good in communication, Stella Majors in Law Enforcement which I'm not surprised this girl loves to argue.

"Look call that stupid boss of yours LA and tell him about your health because that is stupid" She said as she split ways as I waved to her and said "Okay".

***

Walking into my class was like walking into a stadium.. okay maybe I'm over thinking it but I don't like being late and walking into a full class even tho EWHA has about a 50 class rate of students in just one class this place feels like it's more than just 50. I stepped to the second row like mid-row because I don't know I feel "Complete" when I'm in the middle I sat down put my bag on my side and pulled out my notebook and my laptop and sat it on my desk.

"Seat taken"? a manly voice said as I looked up "Um no it's fine you can seat here" I said as he excused himself and sat right beside me.

He was handsome, very handsome like too much of handsome in his genes

"Media and Communications, this class is really big for it to be 50 students, Guess some people really want this teacher" He said with a smirk I didn't say anything to him nor looked at him because I had nothing to say to him it would've been awkward shit it was already awkward.

"Oh sorry, my name is Ruiji Wang nice to meet you" He said as he held his hand out and smiled.

I looked at his hand and it felt like I was forced to shake his hand in good manner and I did my mom didn't raise me to not have manners. I held on his hand as he placed his opposite hand on top of mine and bowed which made me blush he was good looker.  

"Um sorry my name is Nayla but my friends call me LA" I said as he looked at me "Hello LA first time in South Korea" he said as I looked at him and nodded "Yep, well I've been here a couple of times but I'm getting gifs of things" I said calmly as the teacher walked in.

"HELLO CLASS, Day 2 of Media and Communications"

***

I started to finish up my last bit of notes that I took from my phone because these professors don't play. I walked out of class as I heard someone calling my name I turned around and it was the Ruiji he put his cap on his head and quickly walked towards me.

"Hey... Are you busy tonight"? He said as I looked at him

"Me.. umm yeah I have work" I said as I looked at his dark brown eyes

"Well when ever you don't have work maybe I can take you out to eat some time whenever you're free"?

I looked at him blankly in his face and frozen up for me to be such a "Attractive woman" I sure do know how to pull this one off it's just he's so good looking once I thought I good looking man like him was talking to me I looked at him "Sure" and once I said that I was smiling as if he put a little love spell on me.

"Okay, I'll see you soon" He said as I watched him and waved at him bye.

I sat down looking at my phone clicking it on and off and looked at the time 12pm and right when I looked up Stella was walking her way looking as if she was born from a diamond.

"At least your early to our little meeting" I said as I got up and fixed myself

"At least your early to our little meeting" I said as I got up and fixed myself

"Shockingly, stupid teacher thinks she can give the whole entire class a project on the second day I didn't know we were back in High School" She said as I chuckled.

"Did you call your job"? She said as I looked at her "Um No maybe you could drop me off" I said as she groaned to the sky.

"I understand you're trying to like make money be your own person and what not but jesus LA you're a freshman in College this is your year to take a break" She said as I looked at her

"I know Stella but how would I learn besides I'm trying aren't I" I said as I walked to her car and unlocked it as we got in "okay" she said as she turned up the radio.

***

Stella dropped me off as I looked at the cafe sign and I signed as well "Work" at least I'm not working at dominos. I walked in and it was so packed oh yeah I think they will be needing me tonight "HEY NEWBIE" the girl said as I tried to focus on who was calling me she was a real pretty female to she jumped over the counter "Annyeong" she said as she stopped herself with a gasped "I mean HEY" she said as I chuckled "Annyeong is the only korean word I know so far" I said as she chuckled raising her voice for me to hear over the laughter and chatter.

"Come back here I'll show you around" She said grabbing my hand and pulling me to her location and showing me the magic behind it all "OKAAAYYYY Newbie you got a name"? She said as I looked at her as she turned around and flipped her long black hair.

"Nayla but feel free to call me LA" I said with a smile she looked at me "you have a nice smile no wonder Zuko hired you, okay so here are the cooks Gray, Tokyo Hemi" I looked at these dudes and I've never seen such beautiful men in my life did I really just step in a new world were only beautiful people lived I waved as they nodded their heads up "They talk a lot but today isn't a good day for them. In my mind I was totally fangirling "SOOOOO COOOL"

"Okay so now the baristas Jennie, Lani, Genesis and Taylor they're the social ones always welcome to party with them they don't bite" "Okay so now the baristas Jennie, Lani, Genesis and Taylor they're the social ones always welcome to party with them they don't bite"

*Jennie below*

*Tokyo and Gray Hemi*

*Lani Below*

*Genesis Below*

*Taylor Below*

"Super Cool" I said in my head as my eyes showed everything, they took orders some admired their looks while others were just here for the food "Super Cool" I said in my head as my eyes showed everything, they took orders some admired their looks while others were just here for the food. "Okay come on they're pretty cool too but I love this place more, the cashier spot plot" She said as bowed "I'm Rania, head of the first cashier been working here since I was 16 so I'm pretty familiar with things all of these people you see in here have been working here with me since 16 years old so this is a family and your welcomed. "So it's me Rania of course, Zuko when he gets here, Jun the real bad boy over there making those adorable girl's tea and my favorite couple in here Miro and Jillian which they should be here right about now".

Rania looked at the time as Miro and Jillian walked in together "Hello Rania don't break down, the power couple is here" Miro said as Jillian hugged him "Looks like we finally got a newbie thank GOD I hate seeing the same dang people" Jillian said with a laugh. They both signed in and greeted me with a smile which was cute because now I ship them forever.

*Rania below*

*Jun Below*

*Miro and Jillian*

*Zuko Below*

"Well that's us, let me get you signed in and I'll start training you right away" she said as she paced back and forth handing me a appearan "Okay so we're gonna keep you up front no one wants to not see a pretty smile like yours? Right Jun"? She ... "Well that's us, let me get you signed in and I'll start training you right away" she said as she paced back and forth handing me a appearan "Okay so we're gonna keep you up front no one wants to not see a pretty smile like yours? Right Jun"? She said as Jun looked at me and kept working "He can be a little ass once and awhile but it's fine we have those moments".

"Is it always this busy"? I asked as Miro looked at me handing me a cup of iced nino black coffee "Ummm I would say yes and I would say no depending on kpop stars and actors and actresses that come in here once and awhile I suppose a boy band is here today"?  Genesis came up front "Yeah a boy band alright, man did it's crazy out there I would kill to have that attention" He said putting down his tip book on the counter.

"Cute boy group wonder who it is"? Taylor said as her cheeks got bigger "Monsta X ohhhhh what if it is Monsta X"? She said exciting.

"How much you wanna bet it's not Monsta X"Genesis said as Taylor looked at him.

"Why wouldn't it be Monsta X" She pleaded as he looked at her and chuckled.

"Look I'm a good looking guy Monsta X wouldn't come all the way over here to just get a big ass cookie and coffee when they can go to their own company cafe" Genesis said as we watched the group of girls scatter.

"So you guys have famous people coming in here like regular"? I asked as they looked at me

"Um yeah, see some girls freak out when they see kpop stars or actresses and actors and some don't we get autographs" Rania said.

"We get photos" Lani said as she looked at the wall of celebrities

"Even Lee Dong Wook Phone number" Jennie said as they all looked at her

"Lee Dong Wook has better options than you Jennie" Genesis said as everyone laughed.

"Can a girl dream one day I will achieve that goal" Jennie said as they kept laughing.

"I bet it's Got7" Jun said as we all looked at him.

"Well it could be Got7" Jillian agreed as we walked over the counter and sorted things out.

"I heard BamBam changed his hair to red" Taylor said as she drunk her tea

"EW why red I loved him with his blonde hair" Jennie said as they sat on the counters it started to get a little quiet which I realized I didn't really do anything but talk to these people which I had no problem and I listened to all the side conversations.

"Jackson is so cute with blonde hair, Hey LA which Got7 member do you like"? Rania asked as they all looked at me I looked at them and chuckled.

"If only I knew got7" I said silently as Rania looked at me "WOW you really didn't come to South Korea to find your Kpop crush meet him and hopefully marry him huh" Miro said as Jillian hit his chest.

"Like a Kdrama I love those but I'm not really into Kpop" I said as Jennie looked at me "You're lying" She said as I laughed "Yeah" I looked at their faces and it was in total shock.

"Got7"? I said as they showed me a picture of all of them "OHHHHHHH GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS" they looked at me and busted into laughter "WHAT" I said as Taylor mocked me "Seriously you don't know got7 do you know who BTS is or Sexy OPPAS EXO"? She said as I nodded my head.

"Yeah I know BTS and EXO I just well it didn't come to mind" I said shyly "Well at least you're not familiar with them at least you know what you came here for instead of chase the guy of your dreams" Jun said as they looked at me "Well that was a good laugh but we need to take you to concerts so you'd get into that korean drama mood what type of guys you like huh"? Taylor said as  Tokyo and Gray came to the front with us "Apparently Asian men" they said as Jennie coughed on her drink.

"I watched this youtube video of these kpop artist enjoying a little chocolate so I'm just putting out some facts" Tokyo said with a wink of the eye I blushed as they looked at me "Why do you think she moved to South Korea if anything she could've moved to England there's varieties" Gray said playing with Lani hair. "I can hook you up with some of my people that love that chocolate magic or we can hook up"? Tokyo said as Rania got up and stopped the conversation "OKAY Zuko is back everyone up, up, up she said as I blushed even harder.

Wow this was interesting day

[kiramekisakurai]

Takumi, Odin and Xander? I like reading what people think about Xander, lol.

Hello! Likewise; reading about Xander has almost become a pastime of its own for me as of late. :P Interesting stuff. -And now, here’s a very long post.(^_^)

1. How I feel about him/her

Thiiiis guy. At first, I couldn’t help but be annoyed when he wouldn’t freely give me his trust as all the other Hoshido siblings had, (then Xander came along, and) but should I have been in his place, what would I have done? Excellent question. Considering the placement of events he wouldn’t have been quite old enough to remember Corrin, and will have already had his own reasons to bear distrust (more explanation below with sibling relationships).

He’s a slow-burning character with development (and flaws, which make him all the more easy to relate with), more so than the other Hoshidan royals, as far as I’d noticed at this moment.

2. Who I ship him/her with romantically

I ended up marrying him to Azura in Revelations, but I’m not quite sure why; I want to say it’s because when I played Birthright first had saw her heal him with her song, I was quite moved and kept this alternate storyline point in the back of my mind.

3. Who I ship him/her with platonically

Leo. 8| They’re frenemies and hate different things for the same reasons, but sometimes hate the same things and that’s how they bond.

4. What do I like about this character

There’s a lot to love about Takumi, from my perspective. He’s got the burden on him of being the younger sibling, always standing in the shadows of his older brother (much like his Nohrian equivalent, Leo), and as a result may sound like he has a somewhat jaded outlook on certain things at times in addition to being overly competitive as well as a perfectionist. While I don’t have siblings, I do have peers and often feel as though I’m “shrouded by the shadows of my predecessors” in different circumstances, but am often told I have nothing to worry about because there’s only one me, much like there’s only one Takumi. Besides, Takumi is the one who often saved me during many missions. :’D

His endearing fatherly relationship with his son(s) is also fantastic too (which in my case, is both Shigure and Kiragi).

5. Would I marry this character

When I play through Birthright once again, I very well may marry him (but it’s a tough choice, because there’s also Jacob, who I also adore).

6. What would I do if this character was real

I’d tell the poor guy to chill a little, but I’m a 100% pure®︎, verified✔️non-confrontational™️person by circumstance. Regardless, I might want to try to approach him to make small-talk (unusual for me!) but knowing him, I’m sure he’d give me his Tacomeat Face®︎ and take wide strides to avoid me thinking I’m Nohrian based on the way I dress and my general disposition.

1. How I feel about him/her

He reminds me of all the kids I used to hang out with back in middle school, junior high, and high school who were involved with band but also regularly brought their entire Pokémon/Yu-Gi-Oh!/Digimon/Magic card decks to school with them to duel/show off. They somehow also memorized every artillery, weapon, and aircraft used by the US and German military during WWII and could emulate sounds for each one of them. Oftentimes, they had a disposition to speak in role-play (they did that too), but excelled in both school and in social life. I did not always know what they were talking about when they went on their great digressions, but I always listened; in return, they listened to my digressions of similar interests. Many of them have gone off to become writers, software designers, public representatives, and actors. These people, each and every one of them, resonate with me as the Odins of my childhood.

2. Who I ship him/her with romantically

I had no idea who to marry this guy to, since “aching blood” seemed too strong for many, but Selena ended being a great match for him! Coincidentally enough, I was just asked about Selena and talked about this a little while ago.

3. Who I ship him/her with platonically

His “retainer buddy” Niles, because someone has to balance sinnamon rolls with cinnamon rolls.

4. What do I like about this character

I implicitly and talked about this in a nostalgic way back in the first prompt, but this guy reminds me of childhood acquaintances, which reminds me of simpler times, as a result.

Here’s something curious: during the A support conversation with the Avatar, Odin finally comes up with a name for his incredible pose, which just so happens to be “Shadow Glitter.” Alright, so this doesn’t sound so spectacular for me to mention on the surface, one would think, but it is. You see, he named it after me. Yup, it’s true. More specifically, he named it after my in-game character, Kirameki (キラメキ), which means “glitter.” I didn’t even know of this support when I named my character. Goodness, I’ve used “Kirameki” for years (look at my blog’s name, after all). It’s coincidental, but I think it’s adorable and made me really smile that day, which I needed x100.

5. Would I marry this character

I’m not sure, but there’s always a chance.

6. what would i do if this character was real

We’d probably become fast (platonic) friends interested in pretty similar things, but he would do most of the talking, I’m afraid!

1. How I feel about him/her

I apologize in advance, yet I couldn’t help but get a little personal here. It’s not often I find a character with whom I can relate with on such a deeply personal level, down to the very point that it’s physically and emotionally painful (which I admit is embarrassing, but hey I’m going through some rough times and ¯\_(ツ)_/¯), but here one is.

H o w e v e r . There are several stark contrasts between him and I, mostly surrounding the circumstances of immediate family: I have no siblings, and have an excellent relationship with both my parents, which is stronger than any bond I’ve shared with anyone else in this life I’ve lived. They’re also my best friends, after all. In some ways, I’m as much “their retainer” as they are “my retainers.”

Furthermore, I was born more like Leo: school came easy for me, and I continue to excel without too much of a struggle (but of course, grad school does indeed require more work). Because of this, however, here’s where the likeness to Xander comes in: being an only child, being the first-generation to go to and graduate from college, being the first in the entire family to go to grad school, living around resentful family members who wish for your ruin, and finally the lament of your own by-gone dreams ever lingering on the edges of your mind can make you feel like a battle-worn crown prince/ss. Like Xander, it has fallen upon me, partly due to my own aspirations but somewhat by fate, to shoulder heavy responsibilities which may ultimately overwhelm me —and like Xander again, he doesn’t know who or what he has to turn to, only that it is HE who must overcome it all to fulfill his oath. What a feeling.

2. Who I ship him/her with romantically

On a lighter note, Corrin. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I’ve been reading so much cute, fluffy doujinshi over on Pixiv, you have no idea

3. Who I ship him/her with platonically

I adore the strong bond he shares with his siblings; I’ll never know what that feels like, and it’s such a dear thing [insert the adorable and incredibly well-done Nohr sibling group hug fan art here].

4. What do I like about this character

Yet again, I spent the first prompt talking about this a little bit, but let’s see if I can get some new information flowing.

He’s awkward. We can tell he’s not comfortable getting out of his teeny-tiny comfort zone (“elbow-room?! What elbow-room!? Referring to one of his skills), but dear goodness, does he try. He tries for his loved ones, for his country, and for the good of the future. But he’s still so awkward at making small talk, it’s adorable; I get second-hand embarrassment and realize I’m hypocritical feeling this way considering I’m terrible at small talk too; “let’s talk business or let’s adjourn so I can do more business elsewhere.”

He’s genuine. Long story short, he’s got no time to be anything but, again, for his loved ones and his kingdom.

He’s respectful, —to both his friends (no matter the social rank) and foes. Regardless of the odds, he’s as diplomatic and respectful as he can be under the nasty circumstances.

He’s a workaholic, much to his own undoing. (Hey look, I too am one and also don’t know when to stop. What a coincidence.) Note: while useful, this is not always a good trait and is one which can be very, very easily taken advantage of. He’s found himself at the mercy of this situation often, much like I have, as many of us have.

He’s highly intelligent, yet often oblivious (especially in commoners’ ways, thanks to his early sheltered life).

He’s apparently got great handwriting, which for me is a treasure; I too take pride in my handwriting, and really liked reading this little note about him. (*^_^*)

He’s not just another cold, cardboard, bland, stoic, big brother stock character added to the story. Instead, he’s got a story of his own which he’s willing to share, while he listens to yours and even attempts to offer some advice. (I’m remembering his support logs with Hinoka, Sakura, Kaze, Mozu, and Felicia here).

He’s pretty (/^/ω/^/)

5. Would I marry this character

I did. Twice. And I’ve only played all three games once so far. c:

10/10 would marry again

6. What would I do if this character was real

[Kirameki.exe stopped working. Please contact system administrator for assistance.] Which is strange, considering he’s not quite my type in the physical sense, albeit quite close. Fun (but unchecked) facts: if he was indeed real, he’d easily be more than 12in (30.5cm+) taller than me. That’s more than enough reason for my graphics driver to crash, amirite? *ba dum tshh*

Levity aside, and should I already have a good idea of what his real-life personality is like based on the games (rock-solid logic, here), I really would “want to get to know him better” in not quite yet in the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) way (yeah yeah I know what you’re thinking), but rather in a friendly manner. He’d make a warm companion, and I admit that it would be nice to finally share with someone these aspirations and pains. I would just hope he’s more forthcoming than I am and also approach me somehow, considering I’m far more shy than I sound here.

[mceproductions]

December 2018 Blurbs

12/1/18 The final Chapter on 2018's book began with me checking out the sequel to Wreck It Ralph. And it was Near perfect in every way possible. What wasn't was my drive back and the snowstorm that laid waste to the road, never had driven in snow that bad until today. Honestly was shaking for nealry 20 miles. Luckilly came back in time to see Bama win in epic fashion. I may not like them but they are #1. UCF won as well hopeful they can make the jump. 12/2/18 Connor ended up picking up a new kitten, he and Amber named Nelson. Now I know how Peele felt in Keanu. That cat was adorable and so sweet to be around. Especially that poofball tail. Packers stink as usual to the point where McCarthy got fired during his postgame press conference. Bama, Clemson, and Oklahoma will batlle on the 29th to see who gets the chance to play in Santa Clara. Notre Dame will join them, this should be expanded by all counts. 12/3/18 Andrew has another job, this one late at night. Hoping he'll stick this out. Heisman this year went down to the 3 QB's from Bama, Oklahoma and Ohio State. Wonder how the finalst math is done to drop the number from 5 to 3. Gifts need to be sent out to Eric and Company soon. New Tree skirt looks hopefully ok. 12/4/18 Stuff can take the cake really quickly when it comes to life. Connor apparently has broken things off with Amber now his gut is killing him. Karma at its finest people. Other than that, I don't mind having to get called out to do carts what irks me is when someone like Cole, drops off so I'm completley alone out there. His weaseled out method just really iritates me more. Bowl Mercahndise looking rather dull this year, may save money along those lines. 12/5/18 Well, Connor may have gut problems like me. The real kicker is how incompitent our hospital is here, and how they were throwing in words like liver failure and appendix issues. Grabbed mounted photo which allowed me to finish wrapping the gifts to be sent out to Eric and them. Hopeful that Eli Like gummi Bears. Main gift hunting will begin next week. Do love Holiday seaons, and all that they entail. 12/6/18 The cat may be be cute, but Connor breaking, entering and placing him on me in the middle of the night. Nope. He, can really take the cake when it comes to not knowing how to amicably end a relationship. Rebought Hobbit and that gave me, Legos for the first time in 15 Years. Will only get the Target lego hobbit editons and that will be it. Survey for class is adjusted and will hopefully be done by weekends end. Seminar I still have to do, hoping Dad will give a hand with that. Looking forward to Mamoa on SNL. 12/7/18 Pearl Harbor, a tragic event that led to a worse movie. But on this day there should be a new atalige on when it rains it pours for the winter. I call it When it snows it bursts, cause we all had issues today. Bravada may have a frozen gear shift. Eric lost another girlfriend, Connor may be out of a job, and Andrew may actually be doing better than any of us for once. This is a burst of bad luck. 12/8/18 A day that i had originally set out to do nothing now had me doing even less, thanks to the Bum gear shift. Not sure how we can fix that, other vehicle still waits in the wings. Watched more SpongeBob then i had in a long time wow I missed a bunch. Could really use some good in these next few days. 12/9/18 Packers finally won, just need miracles to happen in order to squeak into wild card. Vehicles e break lite may give me clue in order to fix it. Winter and Christmas need to show up quicker cause it certainly doesnt feel like it especially not around here. 12/10/18 Early night when it came to the back. Used VTO to leave early, stinks i lost a day but at least i caught up on stuff. 12/11/18 Bravada i bought finally became mine with licence plates. Saving insurance for after Christmas. Store had less on today which made the work at least plenteful. But the group with the exception of me and 2 others all left at 9:50 as we got left with the bulk of the cleanup. Not cool in the slightest. 12/12/18 First day with Bravada, not a bad go of things. Penultimate class, surprisingly am at an A hoping i can get this done within the next week. Contingency plan needed for tomorrow, will see SpiderMan on Saturday and hold off on Aquaman until after Christmas. 12/13/18 Nice to find out i can still tack miles on my feet. Will need to do that again soon. Packages got sent including book for retun. Retuned a bunch of stuff for gift stipened, hoping dad likes revenant more than hacksaw ridge. South Park finale made no sense. 12/14/18 Saving spiderverse for sunday, mainly so i can get rid off stuff at BAM, more cash more presents. Will still read Mortal Engines even though movie looks lousy. A lot of ties on countdown, and just discovered a couple i overlooked. Binging Bob's Burgers like crazy. Man that show is a lot better than i gave it credit for. Busted truck is gone from parking lot, didn't expect to have to have management nearly call cops on stolen vehicle though. 12/15/18 Day from hell is an understatement. Eric getting arested, Im working on stuff and Andrew seemed to not know when to keep his mouth shut. Bowl games starting today brought only form of relief. 12/16/18 Better day, Animated Spiderman was something to behold. Got bulk of christmas shopping out of the way. Bravada held up just wished i could get it back fully. Packers got knocked out of postseason. Just hope we can win one more, at least chances are good. Smash Bros Ultimate is awesome. 12/17/18 Mom's gift now safley wrapped. Football continues and the Saints better be hoping they stop stinkin things up. 12/18/18 Cap 2 was down to 4 with a mysterious virus going round. As everyone left by 6, i managed to get out early. Just hoping this doesnt come back to bite me in the butt. Hoping to wrap up gifts by Friday, Aquaman on Saturday may be possibile. Glad thats in town at least. Also did annual watch of Haruhi Suzumiya movie, how come they can't make a movie that long in America. Stinks it has to be shorter than 2 for animated. 12/19/18 Last Class, thankfully was short and sweet. Walked out in good mood after making thank you card. Just curious to know when i may get funds, cause have to take 2 classes otherwise just to get scholarship. Rose Bowl shirt looks great. Will finish gift wrapping by friday at least. 12/20/18 I dont know why but it just doesnt feel like christmas this year. Snow almost gone, skies are dreary and whatever mood were in around here just keeps going up. Better Days by Goo Goo Dolls seems more and more perfect in telling the moood were in right now. Hoping for a few good days, free christmas dinner at store tommorow should lift funk. 12/21/18 The mood certainly is festive store wise. Finished grabbing gifts. Wil be hoping they like them. 12/22/18 Down to the single digits in days left of 2018, one goal of mine i wished i picked up more on was the sign language aspect. Will be putting that back on the 2019 docket. Store for a few more days. Just hoped to go watch Aquaman thanks to VTO but based on what i got coming, better to hold off on that. 12/23/18 Penultimate truck of 2018, thankfully got that done by 10, finally got tree from mountain, bulbs i picked up worked brillantly. Hard to belive it all ends in a week. Good year overall. 12/24/18 Short 4 hours with only Chris and Cheyenne. Best store day of the year in which we turn off all lights and tell people who come in to leave. Cole on the other hand, once again, i got drugged out to fix his mess. Not pleasent. What was was prime rib and quiet dinner with family before i gave them gifts. Poofball hat idea worked on all but Dad may have to return his. Looking forward to nba on christmas day. Wonderful life and Polar Express double feature to round things out. 12/25/18 Linus from peanuts says it all. With angellic hosts proclaim christ is born in bethlehem. 12/26/18 Amazing how one day in total silence with family can turn into one explosive return to reality. All for the best 5 days of the year i suppose. Aquaman movie ended up being pretty great, never figured Julie Andrews would play a squid. Badgers Bowl game tomorrow then final day of work for year on friday. Just hopin i can get final blog posted on monday before library closes. Year is rapidly closing fast. Also 2nd Charlie Brown Christmas special sucks, a little bit much on the meaning of the season and not on what made the first special great all around. 12/27/18 Rain filled the day, a lot of water that may turn whatever snow we have into ice. Badgers won in Yankee Stadium and tomorrow is Walmart 2018 finale for me. Just wish i didn't have a week off after that, but i can make do with micro paycheck for a bit. Already trying to figure 2019 Goals, dont know whether to up it or lower it. Found Attack on Titan Season 3 on Digital. Yeah gonna be good tv this weekend. 12/28/18 The 2018 Season finale at Wallyworld. Epicly enjoyable. Just miffed that  have a week off with little to no Coverage coming in. May seek alternative option. Truck tire thankfully got fixed but other issue may now have arisen. Bad luck streak wrapping this year up strong isn't it? 12/29/18 Another college football playoff another Bama Clemson beatdown. At least Kyler and Oklahoma actually put up a fight. Not sure what movie to see tomorrow. Possibly saving Bumblebee for next week, or VICE. 12/30/18 Entry 364 and on this penultimate day, I chose to go see the Mary Poppins sequel. Oh man it was charming. The welcome balance of modern with slight hat tips to what came before. Packers embarrassingly concluded thier season. Orville came back on tonight and that was equally good, a bunch of side plots that somehow all culminated in one odd ritual where Bortus took a dump, and it was good. Looking forward to adding that on DVR. 5 Packages to send out tomorrow, not sure what i'll be doing when ball drops. 12/31/18 Bye Bye Yesterday...The culmination of 365 Days of life, and as we conclude 2018 I think, there was so much more I could have gotten done. 2 Weddings, A Super Bowl visit, watching Connor finish school, buying my first vehicle, nearly seeing a sporting event, and a prmomotion at wally world. So much more I could have squeezed in. Finished today up with helping dad with bread, and  he made chili, hoping that that wont make us all sick as hes been these last few days. As for this journaling buiness.  I may look into continuing this come 2019. After all that is now as i have put it the year of the endgame.  Definetly would want to chronicle that. Though maybe i'll go the Your Name Route and download an app to chronicle that for my Phone and Ipad. Here's to you 2018, now as Thanos snaps at 11:53 you'll crumble to dust and fade away in our minds and hearts. Its time for the next chapter, and im ready...To Be hopefully continued.

                                       End of 2018 Journal

[jackfollmanwriter-blog]

In Chains

Sonya

Date 1 ~ Drinks.

Date 2 ~ Dinner. Drinks.

Date 3 ~ Dinner. Drinks. Lot’s of them. Invitation to her place.

I was shocked when Sonya had me follow her car out to the suburbs to her McMansion at the end of a cul-de-sac surrounded by houses that looked all the same. The girl wasn’t even 30, but she lived in a three-bedroom, 2.5-bathroom house a good 30 minutes outside of the city? It’s funny how much less you vocalize questions you have about people before you have had sex with them for the first time.

I had a distinct feeling that wall was coming down that particular night. There was no way Sonya had me drive a half hour each way, already somewhere between buzzed and drunk, just to have one more drink.

Once inside the house, Sonya explained that both of her parents died fairly young and left her the house. It was a heavy dose of negative emotion to throw into the heavy petting and making out we were doing on the couch, but I was relieved to find out she wasn’t actually married to a 40-year-old guy who was going to burst through the door in the morning with a shotgun or something.

The conversation melted away faster than I thought it would. It was only a matter of time before I was in Sonya’s pink bedroom which looked like it hadn’t been redecorated since her high school years. Even more morbid than hearing about her parents dying as I had my hands all over her was taking things to the next level next to a poster of The Jonas Brothers.

Things unfolded the way I hoped they would. Actually, even better than I thought they would. Had I been the kind of guy who had a list written out of the best sexual partners I have had in my life, Sonya would have been number one with a bullet.

I laid back on Sonya’s bed at peace. I was excited to sleep in with her and wake up to cool off in the pool the next morning. I thought there was a good chance I might actually end up spending the whole weekend with Sonya at her place. I could get used to the burbs.

Sonya interrupted my daydreaming when she returned from a post-coital trip to the bathroom. I sat up when I felt wet tears wipe off her cheeks and onto my shoulder as she snuggled up next to me.

Shit.

“I need your help with something. I hope it doesn’t freak you out,” Sonya said into my naked chest.

Sonya led me over to the closet in the corner of her room. She opened the doors and revealed a wooden rack adorned with metal shackles and chains. It looked like a torture rack you would see in Game of Thrones.

“I need you to chain me up,” Sonya said.

I laughed.

“It’s not funny.”

Sonya walked in front of me, still naked and put her back up against the rack.

Okay. So the girl was into some serious S&M. It was probably going to keep me from bringing her home to mom and dad, but I could roll with it for a while.

I helped Sonya put her wrists and ankles in the shackles and latched them shut.

I reached down and took my boxers off and took a step towards Sonya, poised for a kiss. She turned her head away.

“It’s not like that,” Sonya said, her eyes on the floor. “You should put your clothes back on. “The key is in the nightstand by my bed. You have to use it to lock these up and then unlock me in the morning. You can sleep in my bed. Close the door when you’re done.”

I pulled my boxers back up.

Sonya looked me in the eyes, fresh tears dripping down her cheeks.

“Yes. I can explain more eventually, but this is just how it is right now.”

“Seriously?”

“Just do it!” Sonya said.

I locked the shackles, closed the door on Sonya and walked back downstairs to the kitchen to make a drink. It was going to take a lot more booze to get me to fall asleep after that.

*

I woke up on the couch. My head ached. I polished off four glasses of straight whiskey to force myself to go to sleep and it took me well into the night to accomplish that. I must have only got about three hours of restless sleep on the couch before the morning sun blazed through the large window in the living room and shoved me back awake.

I climbed the stairs up to Sonya’s room. I pushed through her door and was greeted by peaceful silence. I looked at her closed closet door. My body shivered, even though we had forgot to turn the air conditioning on and the temperature in the room had to be above 80 degrees.

“Sonya,” I said in the direction of the closet from the doorway.

“Good morning,” I heard Sonya’s groggy voice through the door of the closet.

I walked over to the closet and opened it up. I recoiled a bit when I saw Sonya laying back against the wooden board, her body naked and sweaty, her eyes barely open. She gave me a little smile.

“You can let me out now,” Sonya said.

*

Sonya and I caught up about the night over iced coffee next to the pool to the soundtrack of singing birds. It would have been bliss had the topic not been about tying her up in a closet so she could sleep at night.

“I’ll save you the awkwardness of even having to ask,” Sonya broached the subject before I had to. “I don’t know exactly what it is, but I have horrible blackouts at night, but only after I have sex.”

I thought Sonya was making this up. I thought this was the world’s most-elaborate prank. I almost laughed.

“What do you mean, blackouts?”

“I don’t really even know. It started happening once I started having sex when I was in college. I would go to sleep and then wake up somewhere completely different with a path of destruction in my wake. One time I woke up with my car covered in debris in a creekbed. Once I woke up in my Kindergarten classroom, covered in blood from punching a window out to get in, one time I woke up in downtown LA on skid row sleeping with a bunch of bums. I eventually had to install the rack thing in there to keep me from running away in the night. I tried just having the door sealed from the outside or getting tied to the bed, but it never worked. I would always find a way to get out.”

“Do you hurt people?” I asked.

“Physically, I don’t know. Emotionally, yes. I understand if it is too much, and I’m sorry for throwing you into this without a real choice, but I got drunk last night and I needed some company. It had been a long, long time. Since before my parents passed. Thank you. Now, I understand if this is too much to deal with.”

“I mean...yeah. That’s pretty crazy.”

“I know.”

“You’ve been to specialists and stuff for this?”

“Of course.”

“Yeah, stupid question.”

“I’ve done everything someone could do in this situation except get themselves committed. Which I’m sure could happen at some point.”

“Only if you have sex.”

“Yes.”

“So you just don’t usually have it?”

“Yes.”

“So we will be fine and you won’t have to sleep in a closet as long as we don’t have sex?”

“Precisely, but I doubt that will work in the long run.”

“I know I’m probably not supposed to say this, and you’ll probably run to the Tinder hills because I did, but I really like you,” I said (nervous laugh).

“We can try.”

*

Sonya and I tried. We dated seriously for a couple of months without doing the deed.

I came up to her house in the suburbs on the weekends for sleep overs, she came over to my place in the city on weeknights. It was bliss. My endless nights of swiping right only to find damaged goods that didn’t have time, energy or the heart for a real relationship were over. Strange enough, the girl who needed to be shackled at night to make sure she didn’t burn the city down was the least-damaged girl I had found in years of dating in LA.

Sonya and I made it work. There were ways around sex and I think avoiding it for a couple of months helped us build a better bond in a day and age when a lot of people start relationships on a one-night stand.

I have to say the issue was the elephant in the room of our relationship which grew larger each day. Well, more like a hideous monster. I felt that monster might grow so large that it pushed us out of our cubby hole of comfort if we didn’t confront it, but I said nothing. I didn’t want to sabotage what we had.

Sabotage ended up being something we didn’t discuss, we just did it one night, when two drinks with dinner turned into seven drinks and a late-night skinny dip in the pool. I interrupted our make out session when the REO Speedwagon song “Can’t Fight This Feeling” popped into my head. There was no getting away from it this time.

Sonya and I made love in her bed. We soaked the sheets with the chlorine water which still clung to us. We were so drunk, I don’t think either of us thought about the consequences until we were lying with our eyes to the ceiling, catching our breath with that post-coital urge of sleep filling our bodies.

“Well...at least it was worth it,” Sonya said.

Sonya got up and went into the bathroom. I almost feel asleep by the time she came back a few minutes later. She didn’t even come back to the bed, she just walked over to the closet and started locking herself in.

“Just come lock it and we can go to sleep,” Sonya said.

I walked over and locked up the closet. Sonya and I avoided eye contact when the door closed.

“Good night,” we said at the same time just before the door closed all the way.

I retreated to the bed. I was so drunk and tired, it didn’t take me long to drift away into sleep.

*

I woke to the sound of heavy pounding on the closet door. I slowly opened my eyes. The room was still lit by a dying candle next to the bed I forgot to put out before going to sleep.

Bang. Bang. Bang.

Methodical pounds rapped against the inside of the closet door. I looked over and saw its white doors shuddering with each hit. The pace of my heart started to pick up like the engine of a car that just pulled onto the on ramp of a freeway and started to accelerate.

“Sonya?”

I waited about 10 seconds for an answer. None came.

“Sonya?” I said again.

I got up from the bed and walked over towards the closet. The pounding stopped. The sound was replaced by the sound of heavy breathing.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

No answer.

Bang. Bang. Bang.

I slowly walked away and went back to bed. I laid there for hours, never falling back asleep, listening to those steady pounds hit the inside of the closet door until morning came.

*

I was shocked how normal Sonya looked when I let her out just after sunrise. You could have never imagined the girl was up the entire night before attacking a door. She pulled me in for a long, sweet hug as soon as she was free.

“We messed up, but it’s okay,” Sonya whispered into my ear during our embrace.

We promised again to not get too drunk and let our desires get the best of us. It was a nice short-term promise, but I still had my doubts about the long-term plausibility of how this would all work. Were we going to spend our whole lives sober and celibate? We might as well have become Mormons. Neither of us seemed to have a solution.

I would prod Sonya with questions whenever the time felt right. She swore up and down that all doctors had no idea what it was. Night terrors or something, was about the best explanation I ever got. She showed me official documentation from physicians. Confirmed that she had tried a bunch of medications, but none of them ever worked. I saw the half-empty pill bottles.

We went on with life. Every day together was a joy. We went Facebook official. I knew we were only a few months away from having to decide if we want to move in together full-time. The obvious choice would be to move into her already paid-off house with the pool, but I had my hesitations, for obvious reasons.

Those hesitations picked up some momentum when Sonya and I slipped up again on Halloween. We had too much to drink. Had incredible sex (it’s amazing how good it is when you let it linger for months at a time) and I locked my love in a god damn closet with iron clasps around her limbs.

The sounds from the closet started before I could fall asleep this time. A low growl, like the one a mean dog gives when you start to get to close to its food dish. I stared up at the ceiling and listened to it drone on for minutes before it was replaced by soft crying in Sonya’s usual soft feminine tone. It took everything I had to not run over to the closet, throw it open and pull out Sonya, but she promised that addressing her once it all started was the worst thing to do.

I listened to those growls and cries for hours. I felt like each minute that I had to listen sucked my soul out of me a little bit more and more.

*

Those pieces of my soul still floated out in the ether even with my relationship with Sonya flourishing. I couldn’t help but feel hollow each night when we said goodnight, kissed and I laid there with a throbbing erection (sorry, but it’s the truth) and a wonder if my girlfriend who was sleeping next to me was telling the truth about everything.

I soldiered on. Everything in my life seemed to take shape once I started things with Sonya. My mental imbalances appeared to mostly just be the stress and anguish of being a hopelessly single young person. Going to a spacious home with an actual kitchen and a backyard conducive to zen on the weekends helped me fight off the troubles of each work week and come back in on Monday refreshed and not drinking more than a couple of drinks on any given night was probably the best thing for me, mentally and physically.

So...I compromised...I let slide...whatever you want to call it. I was happy. We were happy. That was all that mattered.

Until...there’s always an until, isn’t there? Even in the happiest of stories.

This one didn’t start with booze. It started with a very sober, very thought-out and very-calm conversation with Sonya.

Sonya met me as soon as I walked in the front door of her house on a Friday night. I at first thought this was going to be one of those “talks” where I ended up driving back home in tears, but it was much the opposite. Sonya wanted to start scheduling sex on a regular basis. She was worried we were going to eventually have a problem, if we didn’t already,unless we did something. She could live with being locked up for a night every other week, she decided. I agreed. We set the next night as a lift off night.

Lift off came and went. It was amazing. Making love with someone you have been with for just the fourth time well over a year into your relationship causes you to release some unbelievable passion when you finally lock horns. I could barely walk by the time we were done.

Our lack of intoxication finally let us cuddle and bond after the deed. We laid there in bed for about an hour. I asked Sonya what would happen if she just didn’t go to sleep, but she said she didn’t want to risk it. What if she dozed off for a minute and then took off on a tear? Fair. I locked her up. I gave her a long kiss before I shut the door.

I was able to go to sleep peacefully that night. The formality of the whole thing seemed to give me security. It felt like a well-planned vacation or work activity.

*

I woke up to silence. I gave it a few minutes - listened for pounding from the closet. I listened for crying, growling, plead for help. I heard nothing. Just the hum of the air conditioning.

My bladder was what nudged me from my slumber. We pre-gamed our intimacy with virgin daiquiris in the pool and my body was ready to expel the fruity goodness at 5:30 in the morning.

I sat up in bed and instantly forgot about having to go to the bathroom. From the bed, I saw the doors to the closet resting open.

“Sonya?”

I got out of the bed and walked to the closet.

“Sonya?”

I looked in the open closet. The shackles were empty.

“Sonya?” I whispered.

I checked the bathroom. No Sonya.

Had I forgotten to lock the shackles? I couldn’t remember.

The door to the bedroom was closed. I walked over and put my ear to it. I didn’t hear anything.

I opened the bedroom door and peered out. The rest of the house seemed still, silent, dead. I left the bedroom and took off exploring.

My first destination was Sonya’s parents’ room at the end of the hall. It seems crazy to say now, but more than a year into half living at Sonya’s place, I had never been in her parents’ room.

The room let out a musty scent the second I cracked open the door. I peeked inside and saw a room that looked lived-in, but clearly had not been touched in quite some time. It reminded me of the re-staged historical rooms you commonly see in museums which try to capture how a place may have looked 100 years ago.

Everything about the room was unnerving. There was a pair of white boxer briefs on the floor to the side of the bed, an uncapped pen rested on a calendar on a desk, half-empty glasses of water rested on each nightstand. What looked like a red wine stain at the foot of the bed which trickled burgundy splatters into the bathroom.

No Sonya.

I took my investigation to the rest of the house. No luck. I even checked the garage and backyard and saw no sign of Sonya, or her potential exit. All the doors were still locked. Her car was still in the garage.

I went back to Sonya’s room. I checked her bathroom and closet again. Nothing. I gave a look under the bed. Just dust bunnies and old shoeboxes.

I stood back up and noticed something I must have missed earlier out of the corner of my eye. There was a space created behind the door when left opened the way I left it. The light was low and it appeared there was a shadow hiding behind the cover of the door.

“Fuck,” I muttered to myself.

I took a few steps towards the door.

“Sonya?”

I took a few steps closer. I thought I saw the shadow behind the door move closer to the wall.

That was it. I had enough. I was a 6’2 205-pound guy in his late-20s afraid of his girlfriend. I stomped up to the door and pulled it shut.

Nothing was behind the door. Something was on top of it.

Perched on the top of the door like a frightened housecat was Sonya. She had maneuvered her barely over five feet and and 100-pound frame onto the thing and squatted above me, naked and coated with sweat.

“Holy…

Sonya jumped down at me. She pinned me to the floor. She held me down with a strength I never could have imagined could come from her tiny body.

I looked at Sonya’s face. Her eyes were red and bloodshot, opened wide and set on me like those of an rabid dog, her usual full and voluminous hair was slicked back, her teeth clenched in her mouth which was clenched in a snarl.

“Please, Sonya…

Sonya’s hand came down and her nails ripped across my lip, immediately drawing blood. I screamed out and tried to squirm away from her, but could only make it a few inches on the hardwood floors.

Sonya’s nails went from my lips right to my back where they dug in like razors. I tried to swing her off of me. She wouldn’t budge. I felt her teeth dig into my back and chomp down on my soft flesh.

I screamed like a baby.

“PLEASE! SONYA! PLEASE!”

I found that superhuman strength people always say they find deep within themselves when faced with death. I was able to do a push-up and shake Sonya from me for a second. I scrambled to my feet and ran for the bathroom.

I slammed the door behind me as soon as I crashed into the bathroom. I twisted the lock in the door handle. I prayed the bolt lock and the flimsy wood of the door would hold up under the stress Sonya started to put it under like she was a female Jack Torrance.

Pounds harder than the ones from when I could hear Sonya going at the closet door months before blasted the bathroom door. I watched the door shake on its hinges. I feared it would only hold up for about a dozen of those powerful strikes before it came down.

A few more strikes shook the door, but then stopped. Maybe the sun came up, sunrise was approaching? No. The power on the other side of the door turned its attention to the door handle. I watched the gold handle rattle like a toy in front of my face.

The door handle seemed much more vulnerable than the door. Good thinking psycho Sonya.

A few twists of that handle had the thing spinning around in the door, no longer attached to the wood. I saw the handle scrape out of its hole and fall to the hard tile of the bathroom at my feet.

A single crazy eye appeared in the hole.

“Sonya...it’s Jake,” I said as calm as I possibly could at that moment. “I know something is really wrong with you right now, but I just need you to know that I love you and I only mean you good. Please, I just want to get that through to you,” I said.

A few crazed scrapes ripped on the other side of the door, but the eye remained. I stared at the eye with tears forming in mine.

“Please...Sonya.”

The scrapes stopped. The eye vanished from the hole in the door. I let out a deep breath and then turned around. There was a little window above the shower/tub behind me and I saw a sliver of gray light coming out of it. Sunrise must have come.

I gave myself a few minutes to catch my breath. Just focused on breathing in and out at a steady pace. I wiped heavy sweat off of my face with my t-shirt.

“Jake…

I heard Sonya’s voice through the door.

“I’m sorry,” Sonya went on.

*

Sonya eventually talked me out of the bathroom. She wrapped me in a huge hug and leaked tears all over my body. She quivered in my arms for minutes before we went outside and we caught our breath and lowered our temperatures.

Sonya and I talked through things. She didn’t know how she got out of the shackles and the closet, but I admitted that I thought that I may have not actually locked them. She had no idea why she didn’t just go right at me when she got out, but how the hell were you going to try and attach reason to the madness that was her condition?

Our relationship went on, but it was never the same. It was like one of those colossal fights, or little pieces of information that is a sharp knife to a relationship, but not a kill shot. It’s almost worse than a blow up, because it didn’t submarine the relationship, but instead poked enough holes in it to where it would never be the same and it would eventually sink.

I internally delayed plans to move in with Sonya full-time. I stepped our relationship back a little bit. Took some nights off, even poked around on Tinder to see the lay of the land. I created a little bit of a distance. I was pretty sure Sonya noticed.

We drifted. It happens. Like everyone in the modern dating scene, we let things linger for as long as humanly possible, even though we knew it was bound to fail and it was going to create more problems.

I still spent weekends at Sonya’s. My visits felt a little hollow, but I still hit the freeway every Friday afternoon and slogged through traffic until I was in her cul de sac and ready for an awkward weekend.

We were about two months into this when things got strange. I got off work a little early and made it to Sonya’s house a little over an hour before I usually got there. She wasn’t there.

Sonya worked from home and knew I was coming so her absence was fairly strange. I had texted her a couple hours before that I was going to be early, so she knew I was coming.

I waited for her for nearly 30 minutes on the front steps of her house. She showed up hot and bothered and excused her tardiness from getting stuck at the store buying wild shrimp instead of the farmed shrimp at Ralph’s or something. I didn’t really think anything of it at the time. I just wanted to move on and get the night over with.

Our night went according to plan. Sonya was a bit standoffish and I was a bit distant, but that had become our M.O. We went in the pool and jacuzzi, had a couple of drinks and headed off to bed for sleep without sex.

The last thing I remember thinking about before I fell asleep was what my excuse was going to be to say I had to go back to my apartment in the city the next day.

*

I woke up in the bed alone in the middle of the night. I couldn’t feel Sonya’s form next to me the second I opened my eyes.

I scrambled around the bed as if she may have been hiding in the fold of the blanket or something. I looked to the bathroom, the door was open, it was dark inside. The closet door was closed as well.

“Fuck me.”

I figured there was a good chance Sonya was just down in the kitchen or something getting water. We hadn’t had sex, so she shouldn’t have been rabid.

Footsteps pounded outside the closed bedroom door. They sounded swift. Hitting the ground at a pace between a fast walk and a jog.

A thought flashed into my mind. Sonya didn’t have sex with me, but she may have had sex with someone else. It explained why she showed up late and flustered.

The footsteps stopped right outside the door. The door opened slowly. I saw the outline of Sonya standing in the doorway. I couldn’t make out her face, her features, it was too dark, but her slack stance wasn’t as threatening as it had been the last time she had been creeping around in the night.

I started to walk backwards, towards the only window in the room. Luckily it was left open the night before. It had a screen, but I pictured myself ripping that thing off and jumping out of the second-story window. There was grass outside. I hopefully wouldn’t break anything.

“Did you fuck some other guy?” I asked Sonya.

Sonya stepped into the room without an answer. I saw blood in her eyes in the low light of the room.

I took off to the window. I heard Sonya’s feel slam on the hardwood on my tail. She was right behind me when I reached the chest-high window.

I punched an arm through the screen of the window as hard as I could. My arm tore through the hard mesh, but I felt the thing rip my flesh all the way down to the elbow before it stopped.

I pulled the screen backwards and felt something shred my back worse than the screen had my arm. I recognized the hot sting of Sonya’s long nails dig into the top of my naked back and then rip down to my lower back. I screamed and stumbled backwards with the screen stuck on my arm.

Sonya pulled me away from the window with the furious strength I recognized from her last attack. I was able to fight it and stand my ground, but getting out that window seemed like a bridge too far.

“Please!”

I started to plead, but I knew it was hopeless. I saw a clock which read 4:14 when I first woke up. I would not be saved by the rising sun this time. I was going to have to fight.

I turned around to face Sonya. She frothed at the mouth and slapped her hands at me. She locked eyes.

“You’re right. I fucked that guy. Then I came home and kissed you,” Sonya yelled at me, sounding a lot like the demon from The Exorcist.

“You’re fucking crazy,” I screamed back.

I used the little gap of space our interaction provided to spin around and make a mad dash at the window again. I dove out of the opening from a few feet away and felt myself soar in the air. I felt Sonya’s nails slash me on the calves as I flew through the window looking like a dolphin going through a hoop at SeaWorld.

Sonya’s cuts still hurt on the way down to the grass lawn on the side of Sonya’s house. I hit the ground with a hard thud. I didn’t even take a breath to examine the damage. I just took off to get around the front of the house. I had a Hide-A-Key underneath the bumper of my car. I prayed I could get to it before Sonya tore out of the front of the house.

I grabbed the keys with no presence of Sonya. I unlocked the door with no presence of Sonya. I started the engine with no presence of Sonya.

I thought I was going to get out of their scott free until I started to back up and saw Sonya standing in the street completely naked, blocking my path.

I didn’t care anymore. I reversed the car as hard as I could.

Sonya must have dove out of the way of the car, because I lost sight of her before I whipped the car around and floor-boarded the hell out of her driveway. I made the long drive home in just my boxers, without a phone and was damn lucky to have roommates who let me into my place when I knocked because my main keys were still in Sonya’s bedroom.

*

I called the police in Sonya’s suburban town and told them what happened. They didn’t really seem to care. At best, my case was a domestic violence dust up between two people who went their separate ways. I was fine with letting it go.

Not an hour goes by where I don’t think about everything that happened. I assume it will stay that way till the day I die.

It has been nine months and the whole incident just zapped back into my mind full-time. My god awful manager at work who I hate more than anyone I have ever met in my entire life showed me something very interesting on his phone while trying to brag at a lunch.

He showed me a “smokin-hot babe” he recently started dating off of Bumble. He had only “slayed” her one time so far, but he explained that he was closing in. He said she had a killer place outside of the city.

He showed me a picture of her on Facebook. Yep, it was Sonya.

I just smiled and said I thought she was hot. I decided I’m just going to let that one play itself out. Maybe he will forget to lock up Sonya one night too.

Originally published by Thought Catalog on www.ThoughtCatalog.com.