#((where I am digging into the depths of my Netflix list))

[solitaria-fantasma]

Rewatching Sharkboy & Lavagirl and having thoughts:

They really went ham on the 3D effects and you know what? I love it. Give me that dumb, childish, in your face tech-demoing goodness.

Taylor Lautner is a phenomenal Sharkboy and I will accept no criticism.

I loved Tobor then and I love Tobor now.

The giants Max subconsciously created to eat all the giant cookies and dessert foods are his parents, happy and together.

“Dream a dream you little *bleep*.” How could you not love this kid.

Mr. Electric’s various puns are funny. Fight me.

The Plughounds are actually really cool and creative and if nobody stops me I will include them in a D&D campaign someday.

Lavagirl’s leg legitimately falls off at one point and she just hops back to it and sticks it back on like it’s nothing.

If you’re looking for it, you can definitely see where 3D objects composited over live action footage jitters and slips but if you just let yourself get caught up in the movie you really won’t notice that stuff.

The Ice Castle doesn’t look anything like what you’d expect from an actual castle - it actually looks a lot more like an iceberg. I really like that design choice.

Lavagirl can fall asleep on command? Gurl I wish I had that power.

Sharkboy’s fin snaps off when he’s nearly knocked off the ice bridge, but then reappears in the next scene. I’m not citing it as a bad thing - just a funny thing.

This boy’s name is literally ‘Linus’ no wonder he turned into a bully.

“Blah, blah, blah…threat, threat, threat…” I love this line and I will use it someday.

Flying into a rage because of overstimulation? Sharkboy is a mood.

I FORGOT THAT SHE CALLS HIM 'SHARKY’ OMG

Linus sleeps with his eyes open? Boi you’re gonna need some eyedrops stat.

They finally get the Dream Journal and Lavagirl accidentally burns it…*sniff*…sHE JUST WANTS TO BE  G O O D.

Legit tho the sub-themes in this movie about characters coming to life and asking/demanding their creator for things/information about themselves is exactly how the creative process works for me and I feel a little called out.

Sharkboy is an overdramatic showboater and I love him.

When Sharkboy’s fin gets stuck in the ice pillar, he doesn’t try to struggle free or anything - he just sort of shrugs. Clearly, this is not the first time he’s gotten stuck like this.

The milk physics were a bit wonky but the ice for the ice guardians rendered bEAUTIFULLY.

The Ice Princess’ headdress is absolutely gorgeous and I want it.

“Father, you’re smothering me again.” They’ve had this talk before and I’m living for this healthy relationship.

The passing of the Crystal Heart is a modified wedding ceremony and that went over my head as a kid.

The Ice King let them leave the castle with no time left on the Apocalypse Clock fully knowing that their plan wouldn’t work. Jerk.

Hey how often do we see the female lead sacrificing herself for one of the male leads in a way that A) isn’t sexualized, B) isn’t permanent, and C) isn’t part of a tragic romance story?

“What do you do when your dreams have been destroyed?”

“Dream a better dream.”

Hahah this climax is ridiculously dramatic and silly and I absolutely love it.

Sharkboy is tiny Aquaman confirmed.

When Max reaches out to Linus in friendship it literally creates a bridge between them - that’s the kind of visual storytelling I like.

Some of my favorite twists are when the bad guy isn’t so bad….and when a minor villain turns out to be the BIG one.

WHO JUST LEFT THIS CHILD SLEEPING ON THE FLOOR IN THE MIDDLE OF A TORNADO?!

Teacher: I can’t believe it…

Max: But it’s right there in front of you!

Teacher: I can see that! What I can’t believe is…you made him look like me!

There is a distinct lack of groaning and eye-rolling in response to all these bad puns.

Hey so uh, how is the class going to explain the three separate tornados, massive explosion, and spontaneous snow in the middle of a Texan August to the rest of the school?

Linus is drawing again!

Sharkboy and Lavagirl can’t touch, so they 'hold hands’ by holding pinkies mY HEART-

And Max’s parents helped him build a real-life Tobor at the end! I love it!!

[wehavethoughts]

Jingle Jangle Review!

Jingle Jangle: A Christmas Journey David E. Talbert (2020) Netflix Original Movie Fantasy, Holiday, Musical, Children’s Movie

Rating: 5/5 Waves

“I think it’s time for a new story.” – Journey

This review CONTAINS spoilers for Jingle Jangle: A Christmas Journey

Summary: Jeronicus Jangle is a genius toymaker who has everything he’s ever wanted until betrayal and tragedy strike and rip away his magic and inspiration. Jingle Jangle follows his journey with his bright, spunky granddaughter to finding his way out of darkness and towards family, love and inspiration.

No content warnings apply for Jingle Jangle: A Christmas Journey

Last year was a mess and 2021 is already on thin ice, but one of the best things to happen to me this season was my girlfriend sitting me down and convincing me to watch Jingle Jangle: A Christmas Journey. While the trailer looked fun, especially since it was a musical Christmas story featuring a primarily black cast, I hadn’t prioritized watching it. I tend to feel that everything has already been made when it comes to Christmas movies and I don’t want or need another retelling of the same stories. If I need a bump of Christmas spirit around the holidays, I indulge in a classic and move on. Fortunately for me, she wanted to watch it and we needed a Christmas Eve movie.

I loved so much about this movie that I could write tens of thousands of words singing its praises, but I wouldn’t do that to you, so I will narrow my praises to the most important parts of this movie to me. At the top of the list is just how good this movie looks.

Jingle Jangle is one of the most visually appealing movies I’ve ever seen. From the set to the costumes to the choreography, every single shot of this movie was pleasing to the eye. The clothing was sharp and colorful in a way that I expected to get on my nerves, but it ended up stunning. Costume designer Michael Wilkinson described the fashion as “Afro Victorian”. The characters’ hairstyles are another part of the costuming that stood out. They were creative and fun while also adding dimension to the characters’ looks. And let me just take a minute to personally thank the creators of Jingle Jangle for allowing all of these black characters to have natural hair. I have never seen that in a movie and it almost made me cry. Both the clothing and the hairstyles mirrored the characters’ arcs and added depth to the narrative.

The beauty of this movie can mostly be attributed to its fabulous designers, but I also want to point out that everything looked and felt fabulously expensive. I could not find the budget of Jingle Jangle in USD, but with every set piece, CGI shot, song and outfit you could tell that someone who loved this project spent a whole lot of money on it. It is refreshing to see a story like this getting the financial backing to do it properly.

The visuals were so stunning, in fact, that even if the actual story had been terrible, I would still have been happy to just sit and watch it on mute. Fortunately, Jingle Jangle’s story was phenomenal; heartwarming and inspiring with just enough humor to keep it light without feeling overly juvenile. It also had such meaningful emotional themes that I cried at least three times (in a good way).

The emotional core of this movie is the relationship between Jeronicus and his granddaughter Journey. Jeronicus is a grumpy, disillusioned inventor who abandoned his aspirations after achieving his dreams lead to nothing but betrayal and heartache. Journey is a bright, talented child who wants to learn from her brilliant grandfather, but she realizes she has to reignite his belief in himself first. The story centers around belief in the impossible, like most Christmas stories, but instead of asking the audience to believe in something like Santa Claus, Jingle Jangle reminds the audience to believe in themselves and their own abilities. Personally, I’ve never felt more inspired than when a small child belted about how “The square root of impossible is me!” The story digs into how depression can destroy a person’s creativity and inspiration and sometimes what we need is other people believing in us so we can be reminded to believe in ourselves.

My whole deal is reviewing fantasy though, so I feel like I should mention magic. Like most things in the movie it is very pretty to look at. When Jeronicus and Journey use their magic it is glittery, dazzling and very obviously a metaphor for imagination and creativity. Personally, these characters could have probably just have been very smart, but having a visual to see them thinking in new and exciting ways was nice. Math-but-its-glowing as a magic system is not something I’ve seen much of recently, but I know just enough math words to delight in what is coming out of these character’s mouths when they talk about their inventions. This might be a difficult movie for haters of math or people who study it for a living. If hearing characters say things like, “Belief! It collapsed the wave function.” and “Take the circumference of spectacular, divided by the second derivative of sensational…” is a deal breaker for you, then maybe skip this movie.

Also, I should note that this movie is a musical. This came as a surprise to us the first time we watched it, but luckily we love musicals. The first time the music swelled and Jeronicus started singing we were swept away by the magic of the moment, delightfully surprised and in awe of the musical talent. Every single song in this movie is energetic, fun and refreshingly Black. Director David E. Talbert said that he was inspired by southern soul and gospel music as well as Afrobeat and other primarily black genres. The mix of inspiration creates joyful and fresh new songs for the holiday season.

As a whole this movie got my highest rating because the things I love about it outweigh the flaws. That being said, there are a couple pieces of the story that either didn’t make sense or it feels like they did not think all the way through. First of all, the main conflict revolves around the villain Don Juan, a toy matador who has been given sentience through Jeronicus’s miraculous inventions, not wanting to be mass produced. While the story tries to convince us that the conflict revolves around Don Juan’s narcissism, if you think about this plot point too hard you realize that our protagonist plans to mass produce and sell his creations that are clearly alive and intelligent. Obviously the movie doesn’t dig into the ethics of this, since Don Juan is more concerned about not being one-of-a-kind rather than worried that he is going to be bought and sold as a commodity, but it is a concerning angle that implies some very uncomfortable things about this universe.

Another piece that I found falls apart when you think about it too hard is the framing of the story within a story. Jingle Jangle is told a bedtime story being read by a grandmother to her grandchild (similar to the Princess Bride). The first scenes introduce us to a couple of cute kids who ask their grandmother for a Christmas story and in opening the book we get some spectacular CGI and animation to introduce us to Jeronicus’s world. While there is nothing inherently wrong with this method of storytelling, I found it to be unnecessary since the children listening to the story and the grandmother don’t add much as independent characters. Unfortunately, the story seemed to feel the need to justify these characters’ existence and so in a big reveal at the end we discover that the grandmother is Journey, Jeronicus’s granddaughter.

While seeing Journey with her grandchildren is cute, it leads to questions that I personally did not need to have at the end of this otherwise tied up narrative. For example, the children seem to have never heard of Jeronicus Jangle, Don Juan or Buddy 3000 (another important toy character), yet we are meant to believe that Jeronicus’s story happened in the universe that the children live in? Why wouldn’t they know stories about their rich and famous great-great-grandfather? Why had they never heard of Jeronicus Jangle when it is implied that the toys they have grown up with would have been his or his family’s inventions? By making the children related to the people in the story, the writers distracted me from Jeronicus and Journey whose story is much more interesting and heartwarming. Jingle Jangle is a movie that asks me to think and reflect, so I don’t feel bad poking holes in the story, but I don’t love that they left me hanging with all these questions.  

Additionally, there are also some things that I wish the writers hadn’t included in the movie at all. For example, they fridged Jeronicus’s wife almost immediately which was completely unnecessary and I hated to see that in a movie that got so many other things right. Also, having the only obviously Hispanic character (Don Juan Diego) be the villain in such a cartoon-y way left a bad taste in my mouth.

But Jingle Jangle still got my highest rating because as the sum of its parts, it was a fantastic story and I am so glad I got the chance to watch it. My very favorite part of this movie that has stuck with me even weeks after my first viewing is the relationship between Jeronicus and his family. There are sections of this movie where Jeronicus falls into the stereotypical absentee black father trope, but this story allows his character space to talk about what he did wrong, how he is hurting and Jeronicus learns to do better which is so important. I love the current trend in movies where parents apologize to their children because that can be such a healing experience and Jingle Jangle gives us that, but additionally, it makes the parent work for it and prove to their child that they are healing themselves. It offers hope to children struggling through painful situations like this and give parents an example of how they might be able to fix what they broke.

Overall, Jingle Jangle left me with a feeling of joy and contentment while inspiring me to remember what I used to love and rethink my self-imposed limits. The core message of this movie is a reminder that sometimes our lack of belief in our own skills is enough to stop us from achieving our dreams. Jingle Jangle reminds us to believe in our own capacity and lift each other up even when times are difficult. I don’t know if this movie will become a classic in the general consciousness, but it will certainly become a tradition in my family.

~TideMod

[segenassefa]

3. A Semi-Original List of Things To Do During Quarantine

Niggas all over the timelines are baking banana bread, doing headstands, and making Tik Toks. Yeah it was fun the first few weeks – but now we’re almost four months deep into quarantine and the gworls need some change! A bit of variety. Some pizazz, if you will.

Well, fear not!

I am here to help (as per usual). Digging into the depths of my chicken breast-like brain has been hard, but I’ve done it to compile a list of things to try now that quarantine is dragging along. Some of these you’ve definitely heard before (but they were so good, it was worth mentioning again), some of these you may have considered but never really saw the value in, and some of these seem like I pulled them out of my ass, but I promise, they’re a fun time and definitely worth the try.

Take up a new workout routine now that gyms will probably cease to exist.

I can’t even speak on this one (my record this quarantine has been four days without leaving my bed), but health comes in different forms. Even back in the early stages, one of my favourite things to do was get a coffee and aimlessly walk around downtown – it got me out of the house, it didn’t feel like exercise, and was an excuse to take advantage of the warm weather. Exercise is both important for physical as well as mental health, as cited by a million and one studies, and can break up the monotonous cycles of online shopping, self-loathing, and eating that everyone seems to be trapped in these days. Your options, however, go beyond yoga and walking. Buy some weights or use one of the jars of canned tomatoes you have sitting your pantry (…) and do a weight routine. Go for a run. Climb some stairs. Bring back step aerobics like the bad bitches from the 80s. Ride a bike (Queen’s Quay is really nice, and pretty empty on the weekdays). The other benefit to establishing a good routine now is that you can carry it out through the winter. Maybe not the bike riding part, but you get my point.

Socialize (safely).

           I never understood the obsession with patios until I went to El Jefe a few weeks ago, and it got me thinking about how fun that actually must be when everyone isn’t terrified of getting a virus from the person eating chips and guac two tables over. But! There are alternatives! I know you don’t believe me but there are! Toronto has more parks and green spaces than you’d think, and now is the perfect time to take advantage of them. Connect with nature, friends, and socializing in an environmentally friendly space (throw those White Claw cans in the trash, please) and you and your friends will literally be the peak of ecofeminism. If you’re tired of wearing your crop tops and lashes to the grocery store, picnics and beach days also give you a reason to look cute in public again (and with a mask, you don’t even have to put foundation on the bottom half of your face. #win). Some of my favourite places include Trinity-Bellwood Park and Woodbine Beach. If you have a car (or a lot of patience) Scarborough Bluffs is also definitely worth the commute. I think it’s a game changer that “going out” now means sitting in the grass making small talk, instead of getting hammered in some dark, damp club, but maybe it’s also improvement.

Clear out the clutter that you always tell yourself you’re too busy for.

           I know you see it, bitch. That box of clothes overflowing in the back of your closets. Or the basket of random hair ties, scraps of paper, and pen caps on your shelf. What about when you open social media – Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, whatever – a see all these random people on your feed that you don’t remember following, much less ever meeting in real life. Quarantine has forced us to retreat to our own spaces, physically, mentally and emotionally, and now more than ever is the best time to reflect and take inventory of what brings you joy and (God forbid we’re in this situation again) what you’d be ok with surrounding yourself with 24/7. It may be hard – times of crisis especially encourage a scarcity mindset instead of an abundance one – but it doesn’t hurt to try and reframe your thinking!

The 3 Restaurant Rule

If you’re anything like me, then you love Uber Eats. Since this virus has stripped the joy of going out to eat from my small and soft hands, we’ve had to find ways to work around this. One of these compromises has been Uber Eats. But that, much like anything else in life, can soon get repetitive (and niggas were clowning me for actually enjoying Swiss Chalet. Fuck y’all.) So, I established some ground rules, one of which being the three-restaurant rule. Do I follow it all the time? No. But knowing that it exists had made trying new foods more like a game. Here’s what you do:

1.     First, pick a type of cuisine (I’m partial to sushi, so we’re going to use that for this example).

2.     Next, really study Uber Eats. Find the best restaurants in your area specializing in that kind of food and pick three restaurants that look the best to you. Another alternative (especially if you’re lucky enough to live downtown where a majority of restaurants are doing take out) would be to curate a list of places on Yelp! I loved doing this when outside was open – it made eating out feel a bit more purposeful, almost like it was for research).

3.     Then, keep a lil list – on your phone, on paper, in your camera roll - wherever. When you’re not in the mood to cook, consult the list, and don’t pick a restaurant twice in a row. Start building up a list of places that you can say you’ve tried. Keep tabs on how you felt about the food to compare it to in-person dining when restaurants re-open, or make it an event with friends. Dress up, get together, crack a bottle of wine (or some beers, or sake, ya know – whatever floats your boat) and make it an event.

The other upside to this is now when people ask me for recommendations, I can give them with confidence instead of bullshitting like I would have before (sorry y’all LOL).

Learn how to do your own personal upkeep.

           It would probably take me ten hands and feet to count the number of videos I’ve seen of nail salons throwing customers out for being black or on the prejudice of race and/or class, or the number of hair salons and stylists who charge extra fees for thickness, length (or lack thereof), or for specific styles and modifications, etc. If you knew me, you know I was devoted to my nail salon. I loved the feeling of getting a full set of acrylics, having all the work done for me, the little burn on my cuticles when they’d slide my hands under the UV light. But in quarantine, a lot of things happened – nail salons closed, I became unemployed, and suddenly, $60 manicures every two weeks were not realistic. YouTube has so many videos on how to do basic self-care - things like cutting or dyeing or braiding your own hair, doing your own nails (whether it be acrylic, gel, even a basic polish manicure), doing your own eyebrows – the possibilities are all there. And, if you get good enough – you can always go ahead and make it your own side hustle (with salons operating at half capacity, the demand for people that do house calls is rapidly increasing). I’ve recently swapped my acrylics for press on nails and let me tell you – game changer. They last just as long, look just as good, and allow me the freedom of talon-like nails without having my bank account scream at me (a post on how I do my faux-acrylics at home coming soon!)

Try to watch something that isn’t reality television.

I know 90 Day Fiancee is that GIRL. And if you’re like me, you tend to get very sucked into YouTuber mukbang drama as well (if anyone wants to discuss Nikocado Avocado with me, I am more than willing). But after a while, it gets kind of repetitive, and there’s no harm in educating yourself on other topics. Netflix, Amazon Prime Video, Hulu, even YouTube all have so many documentaries on a variety of topics – from crime, to health, to cults – there’s literally something for everyone. Plus, there’s something really self-satisfying about learning something on your own. If you need a place to start, my personal favourite is Bikram (Netflix) and any of the Vice documentaries on YouTube, but there are so many, so browse around and find one that suits your personal taste.

           There are also many documentaries on environmentalism and the Black existence/experience/life in America and globally. Considering all the things that are going on right now, it would be wise to educate oneself, especially when the tools for doing so are a few clicks away. My personal favourites are 13 and Who Shot the Sherriff, but there’s so many that you don’t have an excuse not to at least learn SOMETHING.

Severe ties and blame it on the pandemic.

This one is pretty self-explanatory. Maybe there’s the persistent wanna-be friend who you tried to avoid in your Thursday 11-1 lecture and would incessantly text you for notes. Or the creepy guy who would always be in your study spot in Deerfield and message you after with the dumbass eye emojis. Maybe it’s that one friend you used to call to console you of your issues, but by the end of the chat you felt more unnerved than understood. Whomever it is, don’t be afraid to stray away a bit and use the excuse of social distance or “getting your head together” to gradually give yourself some space and make things a bit obvious without having to be a total asshole. It can help, tbh, and the last thing you need in a time like this is to feel guilty for someone else’s feelings.

Be ok with doing nothing.

Life is always on some go,go,go shit. With people posting all those fucking memes about hustling or whatever, it can be easy to feel like you’re sitting in quarantine wasting your life away because you haven’t joined Forex, or OnlyFans, or started three side businesses, or taught yourself a new language or whatever. But listen – look at quarantine like a break. You had a nice long break to re-cooperate and self-indulge a lil bit and you know what? That’s ok! You’re not less of a person because you chose to rest or hang out in bed more than you should have. Don’t let other people’s progress (or lack thereof) be a measure of your own. How can you expect to bounce back after a GLOBAL PANDEMIC if you spent the entire time beating yourself up for not living up to other people’s idea of success? …Exactly. This list is just for fun and personal growth, but realistically, quarantine is for doing whatever the fuck you want (safely and sanely, of course), but literally look at this time off as God, Allah, Buddha, whomever, pumping the brakes on what is a normally hectic life. Slow down, enjoy the small things (ALL the small things), and allow yourself to be what you are – a human being, not a fucking machine.

[mellowdave]

Film, its imminent death and hopeful resurrection…

We watched “Ad Astra” last night.

Like pretty much everyone, we are

watching some missed pieces during this pandemic and associated quarantine. We worked through “Tales from the Loop” last week, and while I was perusing the watchlist Friday afternoon I realized there were a few movies on HBO that we had missed at the theatre for various reasons we could take in as well. I sat Saturday and watched “Ford v. Ferrari” and thoroughly enjoyed that, so yesterday I decided to watch “Ad Astra”. I am not always in the mood for the genre it represents, or that I thought it represented, science fiction is often a let down on film, when the studio doesn’t choose a visionary to manage their millions of dollars and instead drops it on someone who’s better off making a football film, but has been reliable for them. There have been thousands of words written and entire Youtube accounts dedicated to folks lamenting the current state of affairs in the film and hi end series business, and it’s pretty unlikely that I have anything particularly unique to add to the dialogue, but these are a few of my personal thoughts. I’ll post my opinions of the actual films on separate pages.

Film and “TV” in general are obviously blurred together these days. Since Netflix became the streaming juggernaut it is, and actual broadcast TV has declined to the point of needing life support, I think I should define the two. I say “TV” in reference to content created with the home viewer as the primary audience, and film as that created for the theatre and big screen experience. You can make a solid argument that they are the same, but even if it isn’t budget and production quality any more there is still usually a palpable difference. In a sense, the big shared universe franchises, and things like 3 “Hobbit” and three “Lord of the Rings” films are not so different from serialized “TV”. The market dictates that even films are made with an eye on the subsequent streaming market from the start. I suppose a more accurate term would be “serialized content” since it doesn’t really matter where we are viewing it anymore.

The whole business seems to be about 50% dedicated to cashing in on nostalgia, and I’m not totally against that. So many really solid stories were let down by abysmal budgets, or in the case of almost all sci fi, the pretty sad visual effects available in the 80s and 90s. They were at best less than stellar, or more likely, never made at all. Some original sci fi has real potential, consider Larry Niven’s “The Smoke Ring” series, which was talked about but never materialized, or, for contrast, the disappointing vision of “Dune” that did come to film. I’m all for some re imagining of a few of the real classics, as long as they respect the source in the process. I don’t need to see a CGI version of “The Last Starfighter”, it wouldn’t improve on the story, and the effects were part of the joy, but I am stoked to see Denis Villeneuve’s take on Dune, with a real budget, and (hopefully) less studio interference.

Who didn’t love the new “Battlestar Galactica Series”? The original was a weekly appointment view for me when I was a kid even though it was the campiest thing ever made after the Gil Gerrard “Buck Rogers”. The reboot came at a time when these things were just getting off the ground, and it was made for a modest budget, making the most of every penny they spent to create a gritty take on the original, without completely disregarding it’s lore and texture. Sci Fi made it as a two hour movie first to test the waters, and found such an enthusiastic audience that it ran for seven seasons. On that note, serializing a few classic movies isn’t the worst idea either. We’re all waiting to see what Amazon’s Lord of the Rings series looks like, and I am really enthused with what I’ve seen of the upcoming “Foundation” series. The story telling options a season of 40 minute serials gives writers opens up whole new depths to character development and deeper plots.

Some recent classics like “Firefly” are probably not firing up anytime soon, but just imagine if that franchise had found the type of rebirth that “The Expanse” did with its switch to Amazon Prime and it’s dramatic budget increase. The world of “Firefly” is rich and well developed, and perfect for a spin off shot.

We’ve generally been let down by serial adaptations of films, but when the writers use a well known and popular universe of an original film or franchise as the starting point rather than the characters and plots themselves, we’ve gotten some really good work. I submit the first season of “The Mandalorian” as the obvious candidate. It’s a familiar universe, the writers don’t have to spend three episodes world building, and we get to scratch the nostalgia itch in the process. A similar series based on material not so well known to the general viewing audience requires a good bit more in the way of exposition dumps to get us involved. Instead, “Mando” hit the ground running.

Original series that don’t dig into a known universe, but rather a general since of nostalgia for a period, like “Stranger Things” are new and popular also for very solid reasons. An engaging cast paired with stellar writing from the Duffer brothers made the most surprising and entertaining non franchise series I’ve seen in twenty years. We completely stumbled onto that gem by sitting around in the house alone the year it was released just surfing the Netflix recommended list. We even started it reluctantly, saying “well, we can always turn it off” and ended up watching all night. Having grown up a child of the 80s, the universe it is set in was instantly familiar to me, and different enough from our current that it gives the writers some license to not be 100% gritty and realistic. The obvious nods to classic horror and sci fi films just iced that cake.

I think (and I say this all the time) that were in a golden age of serialized content, and even though the film industry is on life support as far as creativity goes, she’s still hanging in there, releasing the occasional gem for us to dig into. I have high hopes that we’ll get some greatness in between the industry bean counters stepping in and wrecking things. Those giant blockbusters that everyone rushes out and drops 25.00 a ticket on creates profit that pays for riskier but quality work like “Knives Out” and “Ex Machina”. Maybe I’m painting with too optimistic a brush, its a weakness of mine for sure, but things don’t seem to be so bad right now.

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[purplesurveys]

688

Have you today?

Looked in a mirror? Not on purpose. We just have several mirrors in the house that I unavoidably pass by and look at.

Watered a plant? Not today, but my dad has asked me to do it a couple of times in the last week.

Worn denim? I haven’t worn outside clothes in almost a monthhhhh. And that includes denim.

Washed your hair? Technically yes. I took a shower at around 1 AM? before heading to bed.

Been in pain? Kind of. My left eye has been irritating me almost every night/morning since the year started; sometimes it gets incredibly swollen, sometimes it just feels like something is stuck in my eyelid. Either way it’s always uncomfortable and painful.

Had a nap? Haha, not yet. But since the lockdown started I’ve been having an afternoon siesta everyday. Brushed your teeth? Yeah, it came along with the ^ above 1 AM shower. Kissed someone? I haven’t been able to kiss my girlfriend in almost three weeks now and I’m miiiiiserable.  Used a cheese grater? Nah, I haven’t used one in a while.

Eaten something sweet? Not yet. I might eat a few pieces of chocnut later though. Spoken to a stranger? Not today, but we did have a village guard knock on our door earlier to give my dad a quarantine pass – it’s to confirm that he’ll be the only one in the family allowed to leave the house in case we need to go to the groceries or something. I peeked by the front door to listen to the interaction, but I didn’t speak with the guard myself. Dropped something? Sure. My bottle of eye drops. Felt upset in some way? You can say that. There’s a new trend on Facebook where groups are created so certain universities can just trashtalk one another as a joke. It was funny at first but there are some posts that have gone too far, personal, or both, and it obviously hasn’t been good for my mental health lol. Drank coffee? Not yet today. I usually have it in the evening. Walked for more than thirty minutes? I also haven’t walked much in three weeks. That’s kinda what’s supposed to happen when your entire city is put on lockdown. Signed up for something? No. I’ve logged in to certain sites, though. Travelled in a car? I also haven’t been in a car in the last couple of weeks. I was able to ride with my dad the night before they imposed the lockdown – we were visiting my grandpa in the columbary because it would’ve been his 80th birthday that day. Opened a can? Nope. Thought about doing something crazy? At the back of my head I always think of driving up to see Gab because I miss her a lot, but it just remains a crazy thought in my head. Listened to a new song? Yeah. I have a couple of saved playlists and I don’t know like 94% of the songs in both of them, so I’m always listening to a new song everyday. Written in a notebook? I haven’t. I’ve written on a piece of paper, though. Fed an animal? Yup, my dog needs his breakfast. Checked your emails? LOL NOPE, and I don’t plan to check them any time soon. Told someone you love them? Yeah, before we both turned in at like 3 AM lol. Made a phone call? Yeah I also called my girlfriend earlier.

Have you in the last week?

Update: I skipped this survey the whole day and now it’s 10:30 in the evening, and I’ve already done a bunch of stuff I said no ^ to earlier lmao but am too lazy to change. Let’s gooooooo

Travelled on a bus? Nah. The bus personally isn’t my main mode of transpo and I only get to ride them when I’m in a group and there’s no choice but to ride a bus, like for field trips or for group itineraries during vacations.

Washed your face? Yeah. I did this today because my face was feeling annoyingly oily. Put a face mask on for the first time in a long time.

Used a blender? No. I don’t think we even have a blender at home, cos no one ever makes stuff that needs to be blended.

Received a phone call? Sure. Gab and I called several times in the last week, and my grandma has also called from time to time to check up on us because the lockdown has kept us from seeing her regularly.

Talked to someone you dislike? I...don’t think so. If I did I’d definitely talk to Gabie about it, and I haven’t done that with her haha.

Consumed alcohol? Ugh, bleck. Yeah. I wanted to get buzzed last week and a bottle of Jack Daniel’s is the only thing we have in the house so I had a small sip and just... disgusting. Whiskey is just not my thing, so never again.

Eaten pasta? Spot on. We had spaghetti for dinner tonight.

Planned for an event? There is no event to plan, and it’ll stay like this for the next 3-4 months probs.

Asked someone for a favour? Sure, I asked Gab to be the one to write the write-up that’s going to be on my college yearbook.

Watched something funny? I’ve been watching tons of these to fight off boredom during the break.

Trimmed your nails? Yep, they were getting long and uncomfortable so I got rid of them.

Browsed Reddit? Also yep. School kept me busy for a couple of months and I wasn’t able to use Reddit then because I’d usually pass out by evening. But right now I have more than enough time to browse it, so I’ve been doing some catching up.

Talked to yourself? I guess? Not as much as before the lockdown though, because I’ve already been usually by myself throughout this break, and don’t feel the ~need to talk to myself.

Purchased tickets for something? Nah. They cancelled almost all future events up until May or June...there’s no tickets to be bought at all to begin with.

Felt like you were annoying someone? Meh, it happens every now and then.

Cleaned a toilet? I’ve never done this at all.

Reminisced about the past? LMAO yeah. Someone created a Facebook group that lets alumni from my high school just shit-talk the school and bring back (and reveal) old drama, scandals, and controversies. It’s hilarious, it hasn’t pissed me off, and past students exposing teachers who turned out to be trash and/or perverts is so satisfying.

Used headphones? I haven’t had headphones in a while.

Laughed with a friend? Yeah, but just virtually. I haven’t heard most of my friends’ voices in a while.

Cooked dinner and then didn't feel hungry? Nah. I HAVE helped my dad make dinner a few times this week, which is like huge baby steps for me in learning how to cook haha.

Written a list? I don’t think I have in the last week.

Played an instrument? Nope. Felt jealous or envious? It happens. Ignored a text message on purpose? Lol yeah I guess. There were times I got fed up with Gab being such a slow replier that when she replies, I stopped wanting to open my inbox. Congratulated someone? I just did! UP’s med school results were released a few hours ago and I congratulated my friend Michelle for passing. Her decision was super clutch – she initially passed med school as early as high school but she declined it so she can take journalism instead, because it’s what she thought she liked at the time. Four years into the course and she realizes she hated it, so she made the really clutch decision to review for med school exams and she ended up passing every single one she took, UP being the icing on the cake. Honestly I wish I had balls like her.

Have you in the last month?

Made a piece of art? I don’t think so.

Rewatched one of your favourite tv shows or movies? I rewatch Friends at least once or twice a month, so ya got me there.

Called a plumber? We haven’t needed to do this.

Been to a see a doctor? Yup, an optometrist. Something’s been going on with my left eye for a while, so I went in to have a checkup a couple of weeks ago.

Finished a book? I did :o I had to read an entire book to make an essay for my business news class. It’s an investigative piece on the fast food industry, which I honestly dig, so I didn’t have a hard time reading and finishing it.

Had a crush on someone? Sure.

Travelled on a train? Definitely haven’t done this at all, except for that one time three years ago when I had to do it with Jum to go to the House of Representatives in Manila.

Worn heels? I don’t think I did, no. Been to a friend's house? Yeah, I was at Gabie’s a couple times before the lockdown started. Shared a bed with someone? ^ Just her. Been to see a movie at the cinema? Haven’t been to since Knives Out last December. Paid attention to celebrity drama? Nah. High school drama though, I’ve been all over that the last couple of days lmao. Felt anxious? I feel it at least once a day. Taken an elevator? Sure. Given someone the cold shoulder? Only when I don’t reply to Gab because she takes too long to reply, lol yeah. It doesn’t last too long though; it’s just a playful tantrum thing. Purchased a new book/game/movie? Nah, I think I find most of my content on YouTube/Netflix anyway. Applied for a job? Hahahahahahahahahahhaha not yet don’t rush me. Used a printer? I don’t think so. Had lunch in a park? But do we have parks at all? Lmaooooooooo Gotten a manicure or pedicure? Definitely not into those. Made an appointment? Ish? If the one with the optometrist counts. Had a blood test done? Not since 2010. Suffered from a major bruise? Lol dude I haven’t moved a lot in the last few weeks, there’s absolutely no reason for me to get a bruise. Researched a topic in-depth? Yes. I am in school, after all.

Have you in the last year?

Been to the beach? Yep, but it’s been a literal year and not less than, and I am haaaaaardcore missing the beach. No idea when I’ll be coming back.

Visited someone in the hospital? No and I hope I won’t have to for now, given what’s been going on.

Played pinball? Ooh I just did earlier this month! Gab and I went to BGC for a whole night of partying, and when everyone went home we stayed so we can go bar-hopping, and there’s a place called Barcade that’s...well, you get the name. ANYWAY they had sooo many vintage arcade games and a couple of pinball machines, and we didn’t waste time playing each of them. It was sooooo fun.

Travelled on a plane? A couple of times.

Worn a costume? I was Dora for Halloween, so yup.

Been thrift shopping? I don’t...think so?

Thought about getting pregnant or got pregnant? Hell no.

Made a big life decision? Not really. Hasn’t everyone’s lives been put on hold because of this stupid virus?

Changed a lightbulb? Never had at all, really.

Framed something and put it on your wall? Nah. I’m not really that kind of person.

Been stargazing? I’ve been doing this a lot recently cos I’ve been staying at the rooftop at night more often. And with everyone at home, the light pollution has been clearing up and the stars have been so much easier to see.

Made a new friend? If the new applicants for our org count, then yes.

Added to a collection? I don’t have any.

Been to the dentist? Oh yeah. I had a really bad toothache throughout December but the dentist took it all away ahhdkjfhdjsfhsf I’m so grateful lmao.

Broken up with someone? Nope.

Held a baby? That’s a bigger nope.

Created a budget? Nah lmao I would never be able to follow it.

Confessed feelings for someone? Already did.

Had surgery of any kind? Nope and I hope I’ll never need one.

Quit a job? Never had a job,

Been in a car accident? NO thank god hahahahahahaha Purchased something worth over a grand? Yep, one of my Christmas gifts for Gabie was well around two grand. Pesos though, so that’s like roughly $40. Been on vacation at least 500km/300mi from home? Yeah, we always do at least one of these when my dad’s home. Applied for an academic course? Does enrolling count? I’m still in college lmao. Had your photo taken by a professional? I had my grad shoot taken last January.

[theinquisitivej]

Review Variety Pack: Singers, Vampires, and Autopsies

When you write reviews, there are some weeks where there’s simply nothing on the schedule that grabs your interest or sparks any ideas that you feel compelled to write down. Then there are the times where you have the opposite problem, and you end up watching more than enough content to fill two or three articles, and you just don’t know what to pick. When this happens, I’m often torn between my desire to cover everything I see to produce more content and talk about as many different things with my readers as physically possible, and the practical limitation of only having so much time each week to properly go into extensive detail of what I’ve seen. Well, on this occasion, I thought I would try something a little different and take a quick look at a couple films and a TV series rather than dedicate an entire article to just one of them. Don’t worry, I’ll be back to the more in-depth format for my reviews soon enough. For now, this approach just allows me to catch up on some of the content I’ve been meaning to talk about, as well as point you all in the direction of a couple of items. There may even be one or two which have flown under the radar for you.

 ‘A Star is Born’

         Okay, so maybe not ALL of these are smaller projects that haven’t received a lot of media attention. But whatever – the deal with this movie is that Bradley Cooper decided to direct the latest in what has apparently been a long line of remakes and adaptations of the 1937 movie A Star is Born. Cooper plays a popular male singer who discovers a young woman with a talent for singing, played by Lady Gaga, who he wants to introduce to the world and drama ensues as they start a relationship and her fame keeps growing. I have no familiarity with the original or any of the other three remakes listed on Wikipedia, so take that for whatever it’s worth when I say I’m glad I saw this film.

         The 2018 A Star is Born seems to be made with the knowledge that the audience has likely heard this song before. Even if you’re like me and you haven’t seen any of the four previous versions of this film, the rise-to-stardom story is so well-established that it’s a safe bet that you’ll recognise many of the typical story beats of this kind of film. You see the future star’s humble origins, their soaring debut, their optimism for their bright future, them getting signed on for a record label and a soulless manager character entering the picture, their image having to be changed as they get pushed further into the public eye, someone close to them criticising them because they believe the star has lost their way, one of the characters taking a bad turn as it starts to feel like the star has lost all control of their life, and so on. It’s a story we know, but A Star is Born appears to be conscious of this fact. Towards the end of the film, there’s a conversation where a character reflects on how the same notes are repeated over and over between different songs. The character remarks that it’s in the different ways that people see those notes and interpret them through their music that new experiences are created.

         And I think that’s what this film does. The story may be similar to half a dozen other examples, but the execution is what engages. There’s a naturalistic direction to the film that you can see through the way characters talk over each other as they conduct their conversations, or the slight documentary-style to the cinematography, or the minimal use of non-diegetic music which makes the soundtrack seem as if it’s coming from the characters themselves as they sing and play throughout the story. This increases the sense of impact to some of the events within the story because the film is selling you on the impression that what you’re seeing is really happening. On top of that, Lady Gaga’s experience as a professional singer not only enables her to sing well throughout the film, but it also helps her to convey the emotions and thought processes being experienced by her character as she sings. She’s able to deliver a dramatic performance alongside her musical performance, and that’s compelling to watch.

         The 2018 version of A Star is Born is not telling a new story, but it manages to tell a familiar narrative in a way that manages to be distinctive and emotionally affecting. If any of the people involved make the film of interest to you, or if the mood takes you and you want to experience a decent version of this sort of rising-star story, then this version of A Star is Born is a decent pick. Now I just have to watch Bohemian Rhapsody and see if the other film about musical celebrities currently out in cinemas does as good a job at hitting its marks.

Final Score: Bronze / Silver

 ‘Castlevania’ Season 2

         Castlevania is one of those franchises that, on first inspection, appears to have a complicated history with dozens of instalments all coming together to form this grand tapestry telling the story of the war between Dracula, destined to reincarnate every 100 years, and the Belmonts, a family of vampire hunters that have dedicated their entire lineage to keeping Dracula and his forces of darkness at bay. And for fans who want to read into it, that expansive timeline is absolutely there, but on a very simple level, every Castlevania game more or less tells the same story. Dracula shows up along with his huge labyrinthine castle, and someone with a whip and a bunch of vampire-hunting equipment rocks up to kick him back into his coffin. Sometimes there are other characters along for the ride to make it slightly more complicated, but that’s the general gist. Also, there’s always some excellent music accompanying the proceedings.

         The first season of the Netflix animated series Castlevania adapted the story of the third game in the series. As it was only four 20-minute episodes, the first season is barely longer than a feature-length movie, and just as it finds its purpose and you feel like you’re getting into it, it ends. It wasn’t anything more than a semi-decent series, but I felt like there was potential when I watched it last year. The animation during the scenes where characters are simply talking to one another was stiff and you’d only see characters shift in place after a sentence or two, rather than exhibit more natural, flowing movement from moment-to-moment. But the action scenes were clearly where the animation budget went, as fights were creative and choreographed with a satisfying flair which showcased the animator’s passion for the source material. Performances were suitably brooding and at the right level between genuine human levels of emotion and melodramatic excessiveness, which is fitting for something Gothic and cheesy like this. At times the excessive gore and general revelling in shock-factor violence grated on me, and none of the characters really captured my interest or felt like I could get behind them until the second half of the last episode.

         Now Season 2 of Castlevania doesn’t fix all of my issues with the previous season, but I am very happy with some of the progress I’ve seen so far. I haven’t finished the season yet, as I’m six episodes in and have two left before I’m done, but I’ve seen enough to say that the extra time has benefitted the writers, allowing them to take the time to further explore characters and focus on conversations and interactions between the different members of the cast. The result is a more satisfying and complete-feeling season.

         Apart from that, my thoughts are more or less the same as the first season. I like their presentation of the series’ established Gothic aesthetic through the impressive backgrounds and character design. I enjoy seeing characters and references from the games and think the showrunners are doing a great job at translating the tone of the games to an ongoing TV series. The excessive gore is a little much at times, and not because I can’t handle it, but because it feels inelegant and unnecessary when they’re already doing such a good job at establishing a Gothic atmosphere. I am enjoying the characters more, even though the attempts at humour feel a little awkward (though I think that’s part of the intentional style of the series, so take that for what it’s worth). All in all, a solid series that has gotten better since last year, but still has several areas in which it could improve. If you enjoy the original games or are a fan of cheesy Gothic fantasy, then give it a watch.

Final Score: Copper / Bronze

 ‘The Autopsy of Jane Doe’

         Watching this 2016 horror movie from André Øvredal, the director of Trollhunter, was how I spent Halloween this year, and it was a night well spent. A father-son pair of coroners are given an unidentified body of a woman that was found on a crime scene and are tasked with finding a cause-of-death by morning so that the local sheriff can give a full statement on the matter. As they proceed with the autopsy, they find more and more things which don’t add up. There are signs of things happening to the body which don’t make scientific sense when you consider the body’s appearance, and to top it off, there’s an uneasy atmosphere around the office as things just don’t feel right. And from there, I’ll keep you in the dark, as one of the most enjoyable elements to watching this film for the first time is trying to work out what’s going on alongside the two main characters as they dig further into this mystery.

         The Autopsy of Jane Doe got under my skin because it taps into the uneasiness you often feel when you’re stuck in an office or medical building late at night and you’re one of the only people remaining. It makes effective use of space to create a suffocating feeling to the autopsy room and the one or two other spaces our characters find themselves in as the film goes on. The use of the right-angled corridor to create suspense as you fear what might come around the corner is commendable. Both of the two main actors, Brian Cox as the father and Emile Hirsch as the son, work well in their roles, selling you on their close, familial relationship as well as the fact that they are professional coroners, so they know what to do and how to handle their nerves around a dead body, but they’re also human enough to get a little uneasy when things start looking weird.

         As I touched on earlier, I was really drawn in by the set-up to The Autopsy of Jane Doe, fascinated to learn more as conflicting pieces of information are revealed to both the characters and the audience. It’s an exciting sensation that I think is unique to horror; it’s the human urge to find out more even when all signs are telling you that you should stop delving into this unsettling area. You have to know the truth and understand what’s going on, even when it takes you to deadly territory. It’s such a recurring feeling that I experience when watching horror, as well as see in the motivations of the characters within horror narratives, that I consider the horror and mystery genres to be close relatives. The Autopsy of Jane Doe is dripping with that sense of horrific mystery as it centres on an autopsy, a procedure that is done when you want to find out the truth behind something but is also inherently unsettling as you are staring face-to-face at death, in all its detail.

         This horror movie has a great premise which is executed with impressive technical ability by its actors, cinematographer, and director (even if it leans on the jump-scare tactic a little too much). For those who like their horror with an air of mystery, then this is a hard recommend.

Final Score: Silver

[teensoftware444]

Best Tinder Hookup Profile

Ever wonder who has the best Tinder profiles? What “best of Tinder” status actually looks like?

Best Hookup Bios For Tinder

Tinder Dating Site Hook Up

Best Tinder Hookup Profile Photos

Here are 3 of the top Tinderers (by likes):

Apart from The Chive, in choosing 5 best hookup Tinder strategies and statistics to get laid we used an interesting piece of advice given by successful male Tinder users on Bustle and official. The Best Tinder Bios to Get Laid. I’m going to come right out and say it; there are no best Tinder bios to get laid. Your Tinder bio is the least important facet of your profile to get laid. If you want to get laid on Tinder, you need good photos first. No matter how witty your profile description is, it won’t make up for unattractive photos.

When these 3 appeared on TV, many viewers were stunned by how ordinary they were.

I mean, they’re good-looking. BUT they’re not the hottest people you’ve ever seen. Instead, what sets them apart is they’ve mastered the art of making a killer Tinder profile. Like this one:

If you’re an average-looking guy who wants to clean up on Tinder like the best, these are the Tinder profile examples you need. Here are their secrets.

1. About Me Examples (Copy-Paste)

According to guys with the most high-performing Tinder profiles, your “about me” tagline needs to be light-hearted and short.

Avoid raising red flags with whining or complaints, sexual innuendo, or anything negative. Try one of these proven Tinder taglines:

“If you like water, you already like 72 percent of me.”

“I’ll treat you the way Kanye treats Kanye.”

It’s fair to say that our interracial dating community represents the enlightened majority in American society. A Gallup poll in 2013 found that 96% of black people and 84% of white people approve marriage between blacks and whites. This means that 87% of Americans overall see no problem with black-white marriage, up from a meager 4% in 1958 1. https://teensoftware444.tumblr.com/post/657489259390959616/elite-singles-interracial-dating. Questions about online dating? Enjoy our ultimate online dating guide; Interracial Dating. If there were previously stereotypes, preconceptions or presumptions about interracial dating, these outdated attitudes are transforming as more and more American singles are seeking partners from other ethnic groups, and couples’ relationships no longer being defined along racial lines.

“I know all the words to ‘Butterfly’ by ‘Crazy Town’.”

“I can make a better sandwich than you.”

(For more suggestions for your Tinder’s “about me” section, check out The Best Funny Tinder Bios for Guys: Clever, Geek, Jock (Copy-Paste).)

2. Tinder Profile Photos

a) Copy the best profiles— use all six slots.

The best Tinder profiles start with a clear shot of the person’s face.

For the rest, variety is key: a pic with friends, in a suit, travel pic, hobby candid, athletic candid.

b) Test your pics on Photofeeler to find your best.

The best of Tinder have great photos of themselves. They aren’t the most attractive people necessarily, but they know how to sell themselves with a picture.

Most guys COMPLETELY FAIL at using pictures that are even as attractive as they are in real life. Most guys choose pics that bring their number down.

Before you waste your Tinder matches on the wrong photos, be sure to run yours through Photofeeler to know exactly how women are responding to them.

Choosing profile pictures this way has been known to increase matches on Tinder by 200-400%.

Go to Photofeeler.com now and give it a try!

Free message dating app. Know all about tinder bio and right swipes here with our best list of suggestions for girls and boys.

I don’t mind telling you- that for whatever reason you think you need to copy paste something about yourself from a web page, you are wrong. I hate beating around the bush so am going to cut right to chase. As gayish and as girlish as it may sound, folks…write what you are. Yeah and do sprinkle some necessary ingredients along with sarcasm, humor, wits, stay cute a bit, reflect you’re a man of words and most importantly for god sake’s don’t fake.Read along everything you need to know about tinder bios to flourish with a maximum number of swipes. I will let you know few best pointers to follow once you are on to write down about you on tinder, and you will see how the plus counting will follow once you build your bio according to your personality traits. Well, there has to be some chance of you knowing the fact that bios are written to let the other party know what you are like.Frankly, the statistics have been done. Yet, needless to say, a human brain works in peculiar ways my friend, mostly when it comes to online dating. Every individual listed are not looking for something special and you will come across that some time or the other. It’s really important to say that reflects your personality and your intentions as a whole. You don’t want yourself lying dead in some dark alley because you dated a criminal or worse scenario you attracted some psychotic to be your date.I am going to show you few of the best bios where you can understand and learn how amazingly you can frame out your words because as long as online dating and tinder is concerned, WORDS play to be a lethal weapon in grabbing attention and gaining a maximum number of swipes.Related article: 10 Best Hookup apps you’re searching for!

6 BEST TINDER BIO FOR BOYS

Boys are a different race altogether and the way their alternatively wired brains function are utterly praiseworthy. I mean come on, if you are a guy reading this, you probably have a smirk on your face because I know you feel me. See there isn’t anything terrific about writing a mind-blowing bio in tinder. It takes nothing more than some smoking words to set the girlish brains on fire with a first glance and BOOM! you’re a right swipe.

1. No Fuss Bio

There is an absolute requirement for being straightforward while you writing on tinder and being a guy its necessary for you lay down your intentions on the table like whiskey on the rocks. Let me just show you an example from a guy’s tinder bio I peeped into from my sister’s phone that sounded something like this-“Like living alone, Food, cold beer, dogs, sci-fi books, rock music, love to discuss and talk about everything related to being creepy, ask me for skating in Michigan lake, people my kind will be appreciated”Dude… even I would swipe back right for this guy for being so straight up. This is how you’ve got to nail the bio shit on Tinder. It’s all very straightforward and this guy seems to know what he wants to reflect to a girl.

2. Creative Stuff

Creativity is picking out your own flaws and selling them a hand on fist. Boys, if you have to rate to the top, you really have to dig out some creative stuff trending on tinder. I mean you won’t imagine the level of creativity guys put into their tinder bios. Don’t believe me yet? Check this out-

“Facts about me only on request.

I go six feet without heels and 6’6 with, got a six tuxedo wardrobe so don’t hesitate to ask me out for summer weddings. Friends call me outgoing but I don’t mind Netflix on my couch if you are comfortable doing me there”Now that’s humor and creativity blended into a nice morning smoothie to gulp down for chick’s on fleek. Creativity has always been sexy. Take an artist or a musician for an example… girls scream and sigh to be with one.

3. Laid Back Me

When I say ‘Be you’, take it seriously because there is absolutely no need to pretend about your laziness, if only I could add a LOL here I would. So what I mean to say is if you are laid back, PLEASE let it reflect in your bio. Girls aren’t much behind boys these days when it comes to craziness and some of them love petting guys. So if you are lazy and romantic so be that to the fullest. Take a look at this guy who totally nailed it when it came to reflecting his interests.“Love traveling, surfing, tech is my thing, long walks on the beach, spontaneous trips to Paris for freshly baked bread would be great for weekends, I am a guy to have espresso with, take your chances I might just get off the market soon”Aweee, as gayish as it may sound… this dude sounds unreal! But guys reading this please try to be romantic for F sake. It’s required sometimes. Girls would love a lazy weekend and awesome sunset walks along the beach and know it’s absolutely addicting when it comes to Paris and freshly baked bread.

4. Humor off Radar

Adding humor to tender bio is adding fuel to fire. You don’t agree? You will be surprised how easy it gets to have right swipes when you have a sprinkle of funny write up to showcase on tinder. It’s to build up that “want to know him more” thing in their forever working brains.

“I am an astronaut, appeared for the cover of GQ and later became a French spy. I am psychic and love time traveling, recently have been to 2025 and saw myself sailing across the Caribbean with a girl with red hair, shaken yet?Okay exaggerated a bit, but I did complete science as major and luckily can humor more than the regular once in my batch, gotta swipe right to know more about me”That was too cute to have been said he sounded futuristically unreal for a girl to fit her brains around, any which ways, do try out humor because girls love it. Humor is all that a smart girl looks for with some mix of right attitude and sexy along the side.

5. Short and Attractive

There is always space for you to be all sexy with the max effect. And that’s how few men do it with least minimum action words but with more depth.

“Dog lover, food is worshipHave been a drummer so love banging”

Cool bro, this guy is all set to get laid on his first date, mentioning about his musical skills and all. Not that I am jealous, just saying.

6. Lengthy yet Interesting

If you are planning to write a long list of details about you, make sure you sound interesting. No girl has time to really open up to a complete essay about you even before she knows you in person. Save them some time, and even if you do write, write some insanely sexy words to blow their mind off, then and there.

Best Hookup Bios For Tinder

“Precise EnglishAwesome cookRegular to gymFoodieDisney World returnOwner of three cars Love to ride Audi on Saturdays” Over 40 friends date. That is some really good stuff and it explains how writing lengthy can pay off in the end.

6 BEST TINDER BIO FOR GIRLS

I guess girls on tinder don’t really have to worry about getting right swipes because they already do. Yet I exactly know where their interest lies… girls face problems in getting the right swipe from the right person. But there isn’t a lot of hard work to get what you want on tinder.Best tinder bios for girls are the ones which are really witty and yet again straightforward. They always rank to gain the highest swipes on tinder. Check out our six best bios for girls after which you too can easily take some ideas and tweak around to build up your own flawless tinder bio.

1. The Perfect One

A perfect bio build up by a girl reflects how serious they are with tinder profile and that is actually a good thing for boys to handle. Girls, if you are a fan of building up a nice and perfect bio about yourself then please go ahead like this one

“I love dogs, and prefer men in shape because I find men out of shape to be overly sensitive somehow”

Tinder Dating Site Hook Up

It reflects what kind of men you like and a little glimpse of your liking as well. It really leaves something to the imagination of men, just don’t forget to add up a nice display picture.

2. The Realist

Realist girls would love bios like these and why not do something similar when it comes to building your own bio? I suggest you write something which really turns out to be an exact replica of your realist nature. It really does work. Guys love girls who are clear with their ideas and aren’t afraid to express that on tinder. Take a look at this bio for an instance“I like long walks on the beach, and i know why you are swiping along instead being surrounded by friends because somewhere your search is still on, know that i like to cuddle in baggy clothes while I watch Netflix happily all weekends, so don’t expect me to dress up and go out for a date night when am all cozy, and just so you know I am currently in an open relationship with 3 female roommates, text to let me know if that would be a problem with you?”

Wow, that’s just so inviting. I mean you read this and it’s like “let’s see if her roommates are out this weekend”.

3. The Cheesy One

This is my personal favorite because it’s amazing how guys react to a cheesy pickup line or bio. It’s like cheesy words just drills a deep impact on them and they are golden. Yet nothing can beat the kind of cheesy stuff girls write on tinder these days sure you can if you put in that effort but first check out these two which turns out to be gaining thousands on swipes overnight“I believe men have two emotions to the maximum, Hungry and Horny. If I don’t see with an erection I might get you your favorite sandwich”“Since I’m good with cooking I can make you some dessert but if you are hungry for oversweet dishes there is always me”It’s so cheesy that any guy would swipe right. Don’t just copy paste through built up your own because there is nothing like putting your own words into action and see the results.Related Article:=' color:=''>='color:>Best Flirting App for both iOS and Android=' color:=''>='color:>

4. The Pizza Lover

I personally categorize people into two different sects, one who likes pizza and the other one you know who. I know girls like 99.9% are in love with pizza and it’s utterly cute when that is reflected on your tinder bio. Get that extra sense of your pizza love into play and build up a tinder bio. Believe me, guys love girls when they talk about eating, I mean that intensity itself is mind-blowing to them. “Finally to have someone of the same taste, pizza lover if you are reading this grab your chance and rescue another pizza lover from these mundane”

“You might not know me yet but if pizzas are your thing only then bother texture”

My God, it’s hard to believe but trust me pizza lovers do take their obsession to next level. It’s almost like a religion to them. So girls if you have a certain obsession with food, please bring it up in your tinder bio because real is always attractive.

5. The Dark Side

Once you decide to type your tinder bio by explaining something about your dark side, don’t step back, guys love reading something different out of the ordinary and it’s so cool. To be honest, don’t start planning a murder in your bio or discuss about a long lost crime you did as a child. But be that girl if you are little nasty, that is like 10/10 for boys to swipe right for.

“Can you meet me in the dark alley beside barneys in 20 min? Lol”

“I love star wars, watching saw after midnight, a game of thrones is a religion for me and I breathe and eat Vikings, oh! Also, I can’t sleep before I repeat watching an episode of my favorite psychological thriller Hannibal. Text if you match my taste”

Wow, that’s like sex with words, I would love to know about this girl more and more and you just know what I mean.

6. The Captivating One

I know most of you would think this one is probably the best one of them all. I guess it has to be because being captivating is something that not all girls can carry. Truth must be told it’s really important to understand the mentality of a guy when he has been swiping more than hundred profiles daily.Making your profile captivating and getting them hooked to your don’t really take much effort yet it does require a little tweaking of words to get to frame that perfect sentence that can really blow their mind off the radar.

“I wonder why would you be on tinder if you’re already.Taken?”

That is exactly what you want your guys to know about you- Nothing. In that way, they will swipe right and your work starts there… to sort the best among the rest.

How Can Tinder Bios Reflect You As A Person??

I am literally writing an answer to this question because it has been asked on our website for like a zillion times. Tinder bio reflects a great deal of a persona and it’s not just about how witty, pretty, funny or awesome you can sound but what you really are as a person. I know it sounds bookish as few words can’t reflect a person’s nature but you really can make a difference. If you are looking for something to match your taste then know that the other person writing about themselves are looking for the exact same things as you are.You’ve been through the entire article and I know what is going round in your mind. You just want to switch to another tab or pick up your other device to get this thing into place. Knowing what a tinder bio should look like calls for an action.I hope this article helps you chalk out a great bio on tinder and get you that right swipe that you deserve. Also when you read your section make sure you read it carefully because putting some of those suggestions into your writing can really help you build a bio that you become an irresistibly interesting person one can’t wait to know about.

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Also Check: Bored of Tinder? Here’s=' color:=''>='color:>Best Tinder Alternatives=' color:=''>

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[billy-batson]

an anon asked a while back if i could write an essay explaining why i hate karen and kastle and me, being me, saved it in my asks until i could further explain to full capacity. my response?

absolutely. i’ve had this ask in my inbox for quite a few weeks, since before the release of the punisher. in order for people to understand my view points and beliefs, we must take off any shipping goggles we might have and view it from a fairly objective view point. (i’ve also added my own gifs to this because eh, why not?) also, this got quite long so under a cut it goes. also, it sort of gets messy but bear with me. (word count: 2.5k)

we’ll first begin with miss karen page. first introduced as a girl being framed for a murder she did not commit; a fresh breath of air, of sorts, in a show focusing mainly on foggy and matt, two men. as the first season moves on, we see that she’s interested in discovering more about union allied, who attempted to frame her, and that eventually leads her to ben urich, a reporter who, in his heyday, followed thrilling and intense cases and wrote groundbreaking articles. now, though, since he’s aged and has more concern for his life and job--which he needs to support his dying wife while she’s in the hospital--he writes whatever his editor wants him to. he’s fine with this. in fact, he’s comfortable with this.

the issue, though? karen essentially pushes him back into this type of work, bringing him into her hunt on union allied which he explicitly stated, multiple times, that he did not wish to do. he knows how this will likely end--he even tells her as much, reminding her that he’s old now, and he’s “a lot less stupid”. while we can’t entirely fault her for coercing him into working with her, since he is a grown man and he can make his own decisions, she was the cause of the events that led up to, and caused, his death. yes, a white woman caused a black man’s death. unsurprising news when you’re black.

after his death, though? karen--who holds absolutely no relation to him--gets the ownership of his car, which could have gone towards paying his wife’s hospital bills, and his job, despite having absolutely no credentials or prior experience. that is a fine example of white privilege. never worked or trained a day in that work, ever, and yet she gets his job. i know this isn’t real life, but it’s a piece of realistic fiction. it should be realistic---which, i guess, it is, since the only way someone with no credentials or experience in journalism is going to get a job is if they’re white. also, this is marvel netflix’s first example of violently murdering a black person in their series (which they do in every one of their series), so that leaves a foul taste in my mouth, as a black person.

and next came the, what i like to call “weirdly random ooc #female badassness! wannabe episode”, aka the episode where she kills wesley, stating that she’s fired a gun before and insinuated that she’s killed before. not only does she get off scot free for this (which, by the way, never would have happened unless she was white), but it’s also never mentioned ever again. it was a needless act that was ludicrous in execution and inserting into the narrative. it was just a way to say “look! our blonde haired beauty is a badass haha :)”

season two comes along, and it’s shown that she’s digging up information about the punisher while also going on dates with matt. eventually, though, she meets frank for who he is and this is what i call the sort of beginning of manipulation, at least for her, but i’ll be getting more into depth about this later. in the last few episodes, she gives frank an ultimatum -- stop being the punisher, or she’ll walk away. you’ll recall that in the defenders, she also gave matt the same ultimatum, which is a form of manipulation and underlying abuse. karen can not accept that these mens’ alter egos is who they are inside, and that causes for her to make them choose between her and doing what they want to do. having experienced such abuse from the hands of ex friends in the past, it sealed the deal for my disdain for her.

the main thing i dislike about karen is how she’s written in a way where it’s as if she can do no wrong. and fandom’s behavior definitely perpetuates that. she’s seen as a “#perfect cinnamon roll” or a “#goddess” or a saint or whatever fandom is referring to her as. she truly is not all that, yet the writers tend to portray her as such. (needless to say that in the comics, she sold matt’s identity as daredevil for drugs, but that’s beside the point.) she does not deserve to be held to such a high pedestal, and fandom, specifically certain individuals in the fandom, should not hate people who point out valid criticism of her because they can’t see it from any perspective that isn’t their own.

on that note, fandom is a large part of my hatred for characters or ships. fandom never knows how to be normal and they either detest you for not liking their favorite character / ship, or don’t listen to you at all.

when it comes to kastle, though, things are more simple to explain. (as of writing, i am currently on the third episode of the punisher and going slowly through it for obvious reasons.) the entire reason frank does what he does, is because of the death of his family. of his children, of his wife. he relives that all throughout season two of daredevil despite claiming to not have ptsd, and we see it even more intensely in the punisher. he thinks of his wife and children every day, without fail--often times its the first thing he thinks of, and the last thing he thinks of. even a year to two years after their death, the wound is still raw and he is very much not over it.

so why, pray tell, is the ship kastle a thing? he is not, in anyway capable of having or maintaining a healthy relationship as of right now--nor might he ever. the fact that people could excuse this obviously damaged man’s feelings just to ship him with fandom’s white fave, thinly veiled self insert character is saddening and bordering on disgusting. he hasnt even had the chance to heal or breathe and everyone’s already shipping him with her?

matt said that karen deserves better than him. “better than [matt]” does not equal “you should date frank”. frank, himself, says that karen is in love with matt. he compares that love to him and his wife, who he’s not over. karen understands this and accepts this -- she is in love with matt, just as frank is in love with maria, still.

his love for maria is further solidified in the first episode of the punisher, when he repeatedly relives good moments that he had with maria and reminisces on the things that he loved about her through his memories. he, in every way, needs healing. what he does not need is a relationship. that would be one of the last things that he needs, especially after going through all that he has. the death and loss of his family was one of the most traumatic things he’s experienced, to the point that he takes it upon himself to track every single person connected to their murder and kill them, even going so far as juarez, mexico, to do so. six months after that is not enough time for the emotional stability that frank needs before a relationship with anyone could even be considered.

after frank kills schoonover, karen is visibly upset.

she didn’t want him to kill someone, and she even goes so far as to tell him that he can’t keep doing what he’s doing, otherwise, they’re through, and she’s walking. (to which he obviously keeps doing what he’s doing and doesn’t look back as he leaves her in the woods.)

going back a bit, in episode ten, after his escape, she’s afraid of him to the point that she draws a gun on him.

(needless to say the scene right after this is everyone’s beloved #zomg kastle!! scene. everyone seems to ignore what happened right before that scene though. hm. wonder why.)

does that even seem like a good relationship build up? he makes her cry out of a fear for him, she gives him an ultimatum, manipulating him, she pulls a gun on him and absolutely can kill him, as seen since she’s murdered wesley and has apparently done so before in the past. he has no reason to believe that she won’t pull that trigger, and the audience, aside from knowing that the punisher is too iconic of a character to kill off, has no reason to believe that she won’t pull that trigger. why not? she’s done it before on screen, and she showed us what she’s capable of doing.

she doesn’t get the chance to because her apartment is shot up and frank, the good person that he is, ducks down and protects her. because he’s a good person, and she’s someone he can consider, at this point, to be a sort of “friend”. (i’m like, 90% sure none of you guys have ever had any good things happen to you from good people or that yall have friends and cant tell the difference between friendship love and romantic love, since yall ship this, but i rest my case.)

a fun scene i saw pop up in the anti kastle tag -- a post written by a shipper -- was the scene in the punisher where someone refers to karen as “his girlfriend, and takes that as a sign. please, i know we all know better than this. people tease people all the time when it comes to friends, especially attractive ones, typically those of the opposite gender. i can’t list the number of times that one of my childhood friends was called “my boyfriend” by my family or i was called “his girlfriend” by his. it would be completely ludicrous to presume that that sort of comment meant anything other than a jest or a poke at frank’s expense. that’s what friends are like, that’s a universal experience for most people who have friends. it does not hint towards that ship or somehow verify it. thats not what the comment was. by thinking it verifies the ship in some way, you’re all effectively making a mountain out of...dust.

finally, let’s talk about fandom’s need to show their ass when it comes to their ableism. frank castle has ptsd, albeit he is in denial of such a fact. fandom often writes fics and headcanons that if kastle was canon, karen could “fix” frank of his ptsd and “make the pain go away”. for one thing, ptsd does not go away. it doesn’t. being with someone does not make it go away. i know fandom likes to see karen as a saint or an angel or a goddess, but she’s human. even if kastle were to happen, the ptsd would still be there. frank isnt going to magically be “cured” because he’s dating karen page. the fact that this is such a common fandom headcanon is ableist in and of itself. as an abuse survivor still living in an abusive situation, fandom needs to understand that ptsd does not go away. it can be lessened, yes, but it does not go away. an event such as watching your entire family get slaughtered before your very eyes does not go away, especially when said person repeatedly has flash backs of said event. you cannot expect it to. this is part of the reason why the fandom, itself, sickens me.

also, there are volatile tendencies on both sides. as karen isn’t the sole person to blame for why this ship borders on toxicity (almost as bad as the fandom); frank is, as well. due to his volatile nature, and her stubborn and subtle manipulations, as well as the fact that neither of them, specifically frank, are in a position to be in a relationship with anyone (karen as well, considering matt, who she canonically loves, has just appeared to die), makes this ship unable to work. it cannot work and it does not work despite fandom’s perpetual pleas to make it work, likely due to the fact that karen is the self insert character for women all across the fandom, typically and most often, from what i’ve seen, the white women. (needless to say that comics canon karen is so vastly different from show karen that she might as well be a self insert oc at this point.) these are the same white women who will likely regard this as “misogyny” and label it as just “another hater hating”. that is not what i am, but if thats your prerogative, to demonize a black woman for pointing out valid criticisms and flaws found in the beloved ship and the white woman, thats not my problem.

so, in conclusion, why do i hate karen? mainly due to the fact that her white privilege gets her a job, a car of a dead man with a dying wife, who’s dead as a result of her actions, and, of course, fandom and their constant push to make her a savior of some kind, here to “fix” frank. why do i hate kastle? because of fandom’s desire to show their ableism in wanting karen to “fix” frank of his ptsd and thinking that a relationship with the woman who gave him an ultimatum and manipulated him in order to act the way that she wanted him to is anywhere near “romantic”. volatile relationships built on past fear of the other and aiming a gun at the other is not a good foundation for any ship. since their meeting, they were known as being in love with other people, and they are currently in a space where they believe their loves are dead. why would someone’s first reaction be to ship them with each other? why would someone’s first reaction be to ship the man who regularly has nightmares and panic attacks about the death of his family and his wife with someone else when he is obviously still in mourning? why would someone’s first reaction be to ship the woman who was crying, sobbing as she attempted to keep him from doing what he wanted to, who was so afraid of him to the point that she held him at gunpoint? where does any of this set the foundations of a good ship?

and why would one ship it?

[comastoast]

@onlydrowning yOU ASKED FOR THIS you WILDN i HOPE UR PREPARED FOR THIS CHAOS // this took me so fuckdamn long im so sorry there’s a bunch under here & it’s long i hope u enjoy:tm:

╰ ☾ ⛧⌒*｡ daisy eden

( MILO SHEPARD, Nick Jonas, 24. ) Okay so FIRST THINGS FIRST SHE CUTE AS HELL and I was reading her lil bio and the first person who came to mind was Milo because she’s a trauma nurse and I don’t know if she works with children but if she did she could be the one who requests child services who sends Milo to take care of the kids and it’s not so much romantic as it is just sort of therapeutic in a sense because they can discuss the patient with each other not like too deep but enough that they kind of have a loop hole in the sense that they can ask each other for advice with situations and that turns into getting coffee to talk about patients / cases to lunches to after work drinks to dinners and they just accidentally while trying to do their work and seeing eachother on their very limited time off or maybe in passing constantly blossomed into this bond between them that they doNT EVEN REALIZE IS THERE UNTIL THEY’RE LITERALLY LIKE STANDING THERE LOOKING AT EACHOTHER LIKE WHEN IN THE FUC DID THESE FEELINGS JUST SUDDENLY CHIME IN who IS THIS person i know their coffee order and their history and their family and this is wild who are you who am i are we dating????

( OPHELIA MONROE, Billie Lourd, 22 ) Ophie does a lot of charity work and events and maybe she’s around the hospital a lot because when she’s not at work she comes to visit with the children / hang out with them and her mother is also a doctor so she kind of gets to not HANG OUT IN THE HOSPITAL BC THATS WEIRD but she eats in the lunch room and maybe Ophelia’s mother is actually Daisy’s brother’s doctor unless you have it canon her father is bUT U KNOW COLLEAGUE but Daisy and Ophie sometimes eat lunch together or she’s a nice shoulder to lean on you know cute girl squad vibes

 ╰ ☾ ⛧⌒*｡ CHARLIE??????????

( JACKSON ALLEN, Daniel Sharman, 23 ) 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀 we actively already talked about this but im half putting this here to remind you and half remind me because i SPACED ON THIS STARTER BUT WE ALREADY KNOW WHATS GONA GO DOWN HERE WITH JAC K & CHARLIE  AIGHT BYE

╰ ☾ ⛧⌒*｡ darla “dee” petrov

( NOLAN GRAND, Aaron Tveit, 25 ) WHY. DIDN’T. U. TELL. ME. U. HAD. AN. ANASTASIA. I WANT THAT WHOLE PLOT FOR NOLAN OR MCFREAKIN AN Y OF MY MUSES IT COULD WORK WITH HEATH TOO BUT LIKE WHY. AM I JUST NOW LEARNING THIS BEAUTIFUL NEWS??????????????? DO YOU HAVE THIS YET?????? DO YOU WANT IT BC I MCFREAKIN DO 

╰ ☾ ⛧⌒*｡ bella kelli

( KAZ REMY, Vanessa Morgan, 21 ) SO with Bella’s whole history and her super famous family I can 100% see Kaz like obsessed or a big fan and I don’t know if Bella would join a sorority or anything but either way Kaz could play it cool like she wouldn’t be DRAMATIC FAN GIRL but she’d know about the show and maybe Bella is like yeah no it was a bad time and then the girls become hardcore best friends and just squad goals on Kaz’s instagram OR EVEN DRAMATICALLY GO THE OPPOSITE WAY like Bella Hates Kaz bc she’s everything she tried to escape and once upon a time Kaz was the popular girl in college and she hates Bella bc she kind of stole that spotlight BUT EITHER WAY IS COOL FOR ME

╰ ☾ ⛧⌒*｡ zoey dutchess

( MAGS O’SULLIVAN, Saorise Ronan, 23 ) I can definitely see them at LGBTQ+ events and spending late nights working on posters but then Mags is like listen we’ve been working enough and you’re always studying why don’t we go out for once and they explore boston, mass which isn’t too far from harvard and they have this amazing day of just shooting the shit and getting a little shwasty and mags is just like lil bit heart eyes but it’s cool she keeps hERSELF CALM COOL & COLLECTED FOR SURE

( CHARLES “CHAZ” PALMER, Zac Efron, 26 ) He’s Not An Official Muse because I forgot to add him when I was adding temps but bitch just give me a frat boy / rich Harvard asshole who is only there because his dad donated a lot of mcfuckin money and he’s been there for way too long and one day he’s walking across campus and he sees Zoey studying or something and he immediately busts his way into her life but she’s not HAVING it she’s like listn you’re just some dumb idiot and you’re not taking advantage of being here ur fucking DUMB and it’s CLICHE BUT IT CAN HAVE SOME DEPTH AND A LOT OF FUN TWISTS AND TURNS OK

╰ ☾ ⛧⌒*｡ vincent montgomery

( COLBY JAMES, Sofia Black D’elia, 20 ) Okay But Imagine Colby is such a fucking fangirl for the misfits band and she’s gone to every single concert that was within reasonable distance then one day she actually wins a stupid talk-show radio contest and gets backstage tickets to the upcoming show & honestly the entire day turns into a massive mess for Colby like when she gets there it’s super late and the lines insanely long and she missed the first few songs then other super rich backstage VIPs are shitty toward her and she just gets more and more angry until she literally snaps and punches one of the girls RIGHT IN THE FACE and maybe it happens AS Vince is walking by or maybe a band member and someone’s trying to break up the fight and Colby technically has to be kicked out but wowza this is getting lame and cliche but maybe Vincent is here asf for the vibe she’s kinda kicking off and invites her to the bus and this would hella be that cliche shit and i realize now that im done writing it this sucks but pls just xoxo love me

╰ ☾ ⛧⌒*｡ maddox white

( BECK CONNOLLY, Elizabeth Olsen, 29 ) Beck isn’t exactly the most sentimental person but I can imagine her being close with Maddox for a long time like maybe they were childhood friends & they lost touch for a while / when he was with his girlfriend who broke his heart because Beck honestly didn’t like her vibe but didn’t want to be that friend so she tried to give him space then when they broke up I can aggressively and disgustingly see Beck writing Maddox a literal movie script or SOMETHING ANYTHING because that’s how she tries to like show affection with her words and producing work and she’d definitely write him a movie as a literal disney prince who has hardships and deals with a lot of bad shit but he’s actually a really good dude in her eyes and just it’s an animation piece and she’s like ‘listen no one even really has to know its you but i want your voice for the prince i won’t take no for an answer’ so she brings him out to LA so it’s just a lot of bonding & working on his movie & deep talks & chinese food netflix & legit chill just good VIBES you feel me??

╰ ☾ ⛧⌒*｡ samuel wells

( OPHELIA MONROE, Billie Lourd, 22 ) Do you hear the cliche bad influence plot because I do but not like samuel is aggressively pushing anything on Ophelia as much as it is Ophie is beginning to experiment because she was hanging out with all the wrong people and she already has that ‘im a druggie’ look because of the bags under her eyes but those are only there because she’s drained from staying up until 4 AM the night before so one night while she’s hanging out with her friends she meets Sam and he’s doing drugs so she’s like I mean I might as well try right??? and she like gravitates toward him for multiple reasons ( like a. he’s attractive b. he seems to have a general idea of what he’s doing c. she’s never seen him before the list goes on ) and this is lowkey just how it starts it can go down a variety of toxic ass paths like we could even set up a future verse where he actively got sober and so did Ophelia and they only could get sober when they were apart but then they get together again and they’re getting all kinds of fucked up and like they dig each other but the fuckin TOXICITY of their relationship bc they can only really feel like their old selves when they’re high & they’re eachothers triggers but it’s a nice ass trigger like they’re here af for this trigger

╰ ☾ ⛧⌒*｡ dakota heart

( LENNON, Jaira Burns, 23 ) Put. Dakota. On. Lennon’s. Youtube. Like he aggressively can be a constant guest on the show & they’re like best friends & lenny is the one who hooks him up with as many people as she can get her hands on / they’re wingmen and just good times good vibes storytime videos & challenges & she supports the living fuc outta him modeling like she’s aggressively ‘BOI U GOT THAT NICE ASS FACE ND THE BOD THOSE GIRLS OUT THERE GONNA WILD OUT FOR U lemme help with ur make up ur looking a lil pale today’ or something just like AGGRESSIVE PLATONIC SUPPORT OF HIS SUCCESS

[lair-of-books]

January was a month of much post holiday rest, organization, and goal setting. 2019 was a massive healing year for me which meant I focused more on Quality vs. Quantity reading last year to make room for new life experiences. January however had me back in the saddle with books on my radar for the rest of the year. It was also the month where I participated in my very first Readathon (SMUTATHON Wrap-Up) Challenge & had a blast! It was truly the BEST way to start off the new year, light & fun with a side of steam 😉

Besides a ton of steamy reading, I also found my love for Netflix backlist shows like Schitts Creek and continued with the latest season of Grace & Frankie. I also started Journaling, something I’ve been wanting to get back into for years but never quite took the steps & placed pen to paper. Writing has been truly cathartic in my journey to self alignment & self healing. As the new year takes off, I’m also keeping a small list of places/things I’d like to visit & do. I’ll include snippets of some of these trips in future wrap-ups as a way for me to look back on & share with you lovely readers 🙂

The Loner’s Lady by Jessa Kane – ✨2.5 STARS✨ (SMUTATHON WRAP-UP) This age gap romance just was NOT my cup of tea haha! it felt very primitive & not my idea of a good time with a fake dating trope. I was generous here with my rating but in all reality it was a quick read that left me very underwhelmed.

Grading Curves by Naima Simone -✨4.5 STARS✨ (SMUTATHON WRAP-UP) GOODNESS! SUPER SEXY! who would’ve known a tattoo parlor would host such potential for steam haha! Naima Simone is on my list of go-to authors for smut 😉

The King Maker by Kennedy Ryan – ✨4.5 STARS✨(SMUTATHON WRAP-UP) Kennedy Ryan blew me away with this very heavily researched read. A perfect balance between hardcore relevant topics & romance, this one I definitely plan on reviewing here on the blog. This is a age gap romance I can get behind & best of all it follows our characters over the years from the time they met in their 20’s to present day. Can’t wait to read the sequel in the All the King’s Men Duet, The Rebel King.

The Headmaster by Tiffany Reisz – ✨5 STARS✨ (SMUTATHON WRAP-UP) Gothic Romance fever anyone?!? YEA that’s what Tiffany Reisz left me with after finishing Headmaster. I’mnot sure why but it gave me the same vibes I felt while reading Cassie Clare’s The Infernal Devices if only for the steam punk atmosphere. SO worth it especially if you dig Paranormal Romance.

SKYWARD by Brandon Sanderson – ✨5 STARS✨ (MY REVIEW) I wouldn’t be surprised to see SKYWARD make my end of the year TOP 20 of 2020! it gave me such an adrenaline rush & reminded me of my experience with Pierce Brown’s Morning Star. Not just cause of the camaraderie between the pilots but also because of the flight patterns & attacks that really jump off the page and pull you in. I already have secured a copy of the sequel STARSIGHT & a more happier little bean I could not be *jazz hands*

Beautiful Dreamer by Melissa Brayden-✨5 STARS✨(SMUTATHON WRAP-UP) This F/F Romance legit transported me to a small beach town & immersed me in every single characters lives like nobodies business! UGH! I did NOT want to leave & the characters who are the epitome of polar opposites had me shipping them so hard all throughout. I have a list of Melissa Brayden backlist books I will be reading throughout the next couple of months… the Next one on my radar is Strawberry Summer thanks to the wonderful Leigh Kramer who I appreciate wholeheartedly! ❤ a whole review will hit this blog in the very near future, currently I’m reading faster than I’m writing SMH! haha!

Tweet Cute by Emma Lord – ✨5 STARS✨ (MY REVIEW) on the Cuteness Meter, this one smashes the scale! This is another read that I may throw into my top 20 of 2020 but we shall see. I laughed & enjoyed the character interactions so much so that I traded in sleep haha! I have a full review linked above.

Ok soooo I may have binged almost all 5 current season of Schitts Creek onNetflix…I say almost cause in typical Lilly fashion I stopped myself from watching the last 3 episodes of season 5. I’m not a fan of endings & even though there is currently a season 6, I have to wait for it to hit Netflix sooo yea LOL! I had HUGE doubts about this show but JEEZ am I so happy I decided to give in & start this show. It appears to be super pretentious & ridiculous but I promise you there’s so much more depth to these characters. Ultimately it’s the reason I’ve fallen back in love with Netflix so if there are any shows that offer up this much comedic relief, please drop them down below in the comments Luvs!

OK! Bragging rights here cause my BF did NOT think this one was worth us going to see in theaters. WHELP! boy was he happy we went cause this was so GOOD! & possibly not the end of this franchise *fingers crossed* the boys are back & although they’ve aged just a bit, that does NOT stop them from getting back behind the wheel & catching them some bad guys…Ok well Marcus played by Martin Lawrence needs a bit of convincing & it is EVERYTHING seeing this duo back in action.

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January Monthly Wrap-Up January was a month of much post holiday rest, organization, and goal setting. 2019 was a massive healing year for me which meant I focused more on Quality vs.

[highlonelylustfull]

25NOV18

I watched this indie movie I found on Netflix called Newness, its by the same guy that did Like Crazy, which I think about a lot. This movie was amazing at showing the depth of emotional complexity in relationships and how important honesty is for the relationship to work in the first place. 

It made me think about Matt. How I would feel if I found out he got married or had a baby with someone else. There is this great line where the male lead talks about his ex wife and how he assumed that she would always love him most, that she would be waiting for him when he was ready. A huge part of me wants Matt to know when I get engaged, or even when I get a new boyfriend. I don't know what that says about me, or my progress in getting over him. I don't know if I will ever be over him, completely. I think a part of me will always love and care for him as much as I don't want to. I think a small part of me would let him slide right back into my life if he asked. But there is so much to be said for the fact that he didn’t tell me he cheated on me for a whole year. That he kept up the lie and kept digging himself in deeper despite me knowing the truth deep down. I wanted to believe him so badly that I talked myself into him bullshit. There is no way that he doesn't remember. He just didn't have the balls to tell me and the guilt probably go the better of him. I just don't understand how he could come home to me, two weeks after having fucked someone else and look me in the eyes. I understand now why he didn't want to have sex with me. The guilt was eating him alive. I don't know why he kept that list of things that she wrote she liked about him. Why he felt that after so many years, he still had to lie to me, when I repeatedly told him that he only ever got in trouble for lying to me. I only ever left him because I couldn't trust him, and he just kept giving me reasons to leave, but like Gaga says, I just needed one to stay. I couldn't have asked for less of him, and he couldn't offer me anything more. In the movie it talks abut how all love needs is two people who won't give up on each other and who are really pursuing each other with full force. I know, because of him and my still wanting to go back and fix it, that I am fully capable of having a long successful relationship, I just need to choose wisely, because when I say those three little words, its a lifetime promise, and not a fleeting feeling. 

Francis is annoying me with his promises of speaking, and failing to meet those promises. One of my big red buttons so to speak, but now I am aware of it at least.I have been steadily losing interest the past few weeks, an the told me he hasn't felt himself in that same time frame. Part of me can't wait to get to Spain and party, meet new guys, search for love. Part of me hopes that I have already found it.

Spain is starting to feel tangible. I can see the finish line. I am hoping that within the next two weeks I will be done with the paperwork and will be able to present it meaning I could potentially be in Spain the first part of jan. I am excited for all the small things: waiting in line for the metro (meaning I don't have to drive), ring woken up early by cries, or little hands (meaning I will be around kids), waiting in line when I am in a rush and hearing Spanish all around (meaning that I finally made it back to my Madrid), feeling anxious for an exam or upset when I don’t pass (meaning I am back in school studying once more), passing a test and feeling full of joy (meaning the months of hardworking have paid off), being rejected at a bar by a handsome stranger (meaning I was confident, spontaneous, and in a place with people I enjoy). All the little things, even the negative ones now look peachy keen to me.

We shall see! All in good divine timing. Namaste

[datingdummies-blog]

Crazy Hot Man Matrix

Here we go men, you created one about us women so now its your turn!  I started this blog sharing the video that created my inspiration.  The crazy hot women matrix of course.  Yes I’m sorry to say ladies, but we are absolutely out of fucking control sometimes.  Even I myself have moments where I am envisioning myself from afar as I watch myself hurdle so far off the cliff and I’m screaming to myself “no” but it’s too late.  The damage and words have been said and the crazy that is within me, has been done.  However with that said I have encountered some equally just as crazy men.  So please stay tuned and read on to find out how the crazy hot man matrix really breaks down.  Also keep in mind us girls have a lot more categories and put you into a bit more of a complex system than what you men tend to put us in.  

So first I should break down the scale itself for you.  We have 1-10 hotness on the bottom and we measure your crazy also from 1-10 that you will view on the side.  

First we have your “oh hell no zone.”  These men rate on a scale from 1-10 crazy and from 1-5 hotness.  These are your men you’re not even remotely physically attracted to and unfortunately for you men with all the dating apps available and swiping capabilities, the days of dating under a 5 are almost completely extinct for both sexes.  If I were you, I’d consider adopting a puppy, maybe even consider a full face lift?  Sometimes men with money are capable of pulling a girl out of his league but really those are the shallow, money hungry bitches and you’re literally buying the most expensive hooker you could find and to top it off she will probably sleep with anyone else but you and still continue to take you for your money.  Your loss boys, you probably missed out on a great girl in your league who would have done all the strange shit you liked and you ended up choosing the blonde girl who owns a new pair of boobs that you just so happened to purchase with your hard earnings.  Congratulations on the upcoming divorce.  She will undoubtedly take half your earnings and possibly even leave the court room hand in hand with the pool boy.  But hey, we all make mistakes right? Better luck next time. 

Now lets get to the logistics of the realistic part of the scale.  So for 9-10 crazy, and 5-10 hot you have your “Danger Will Robinson Zone.”  Don’t even go there.  These men are the men who talk way too often about the option of having a threesome with your mom (which has happened to me), they might have a tear drop tattoo or ten from their time spent in prison where they murdered someone for two juice boxes, a nude picture of one of the jail houses side bitches and a pack of smokes. Please know side bitch probably weighs somewhere heavy on the female matrix as well so this match equals nothing but absolute greatness.  I have also added for mainly comedic value men with serial killer names such as, but not limited to Jason, Freddy, Bill or even lets go as far as when you first meet him and he introduces himself as Leather Face, or Snake possibly even Viper.  I mean come on ladies I shouldn’t even have to mention it but you know you needed to hear it. 

 To finish up the danger zone I have to say that while I’m very nonjudgemental of fetishes, this one might kind of weird me out and is absolutely badge worthy of the danger zone material.  So first let me set the scene on this one.  You’re on a date, (probably someone from tinder) and things are going amazing.  Finally you meet a man who seems normal and sweet!  He even goes on to tell you stories asking at the end of telling them “where have all the good ones gone” while you internally (because we don’t want to scare him off) are screaming “HERE I AM…RIGHT HERE!!”  So in an effort to get to know you better he says lets take this back to my place, you agree and with ease are feeling good about this upcoming Netflix n’ chill moment where you will not be watching Netflix at all.  You head to his place, hopefully following in your own personal vehicle and arrive.  

You meet at the door and he prepares you for what you’re about to embark on.  He says “I have to preface you for what you’re about to see.  I am a sentimental man, and I have things that mean a lot to me that others might find odd.”  He opens the door and you are greeted with what seems like millions (truthfully maybe he only has 125.2 the point 2 comes from damaged) stuffed animals.  At first your mind will try and make excuses for this.  However digging deeper into this plushophilia world you notice holes.  Holes in places you wouldn’t imagine there would be holes in.  He now goes on to tell you he is what is known as a “yiff”.  Which for those of you not hip to the lingo, is a term in the furry fandom world that is short for having sex and enjoying porn and his beloved stuffed animals are center stage.  I mean do I even need to say the phrase?  The man is a fricken shit show, please run.  

The next category is 8-7 on the crazy zone and he’s a 5-7 hot.  This is your classic “he turned creeper on me” zone.  I feel this one might be self explanatory but lets go on to further discuss this zone in more depth.  There do happen to be different varieties of creepers.  One of which is the mild creeper.  He may be the guy who personally locks your door while looking at you in the eyes and says its for your safety.  Your head is saying he might rape me tonight.  Follow that gut girl, he’s weird.  Also please men, don’t hand feed us anything unless we know you and really like you.  It’s super weird.  Near creeper status,  which is why those have made the mild creeper list.  Being real though for two seconds because I’m incapable of being real much longer,  being creepy is more of a personal feeling women get. This girl has a discomfort or awkwardness when it comes to you and if you have hit this zone you should stop hard in your tracks.  You don’t have a prayer.  However the next woman that comes along might think you’re outrageously charming.  You just never know.  The last part of this part of the scale is the hot creeper.  I wish his name meant he was super hot and you didn’t see the crazy coming. But thats certainly not true.  He measures at the top of this scale because he did something that really weirded you out.  Guys you can do this simply by mass texting paragraphs of texts when she isn’t responding.  This is such a turn off for women.  If she isn’t texting back cease all texting to her.  I guarantee if you present her with a challenge you will go much further with her.  Don’t ever beg, if you ever get here you have lost her. She’s telling her friends as we speak that you’re a straight creeper.  Lastly, if you text her and she didn’t give you her number we have a couple of problems here.  You can probably understand why.  

Alright moving on, we have a 4-6 on the crazy scale, and a 5-7 hot.  This is your “maybe pile zone.” These guys are the men who have proclaimed there love to you or just not entertained you enough for them to care for you on a daily basis.  Men she entertains the thought of you, but she’s not wild about you.  If she was you’d certainly know it.  These are your tinder guys you have yet to meet but have talked to several times, your men who didn’t wow you on that first date but you’d maybe give them a second date if you got bored enough and lastly  the ones that just aren’t what you’re looking for but might be ok for one night.  This category also catches the men that you’re just not sure about in general.  Men please know you can move from this zone to any of the other upper categories.  You still have a chance.  She hasn’t put the negative label of creeper, danger or no go on you yet.  This is when you need to put some effort in.  This is also when men talk about women being hard to understand.  Were only hard to understand because we have put you in the I’m gonna mind fuck the shit out of him, maybe pile. Which is not meant to hurt you, it just means we don’t even freaking know.  Juries out on you, please do your best not to go the opposite way with this one  as its far to easy to turn into one of the men listed in the  negative zones. I believe in you, and have faith in you, just step it up and show your worth and you’ll be fine.  

A 1-4 crazy and a 5-7 hot this is our classic “Sorry Not Sorry Friend Zone”  Its very, very hard to move from this spot.  Women are pretty good at keeping you here if she’s classified you as a friend.  Know that you are probably sitting pretty here in this zone, I personally envision you drinking some virgin margarita while chilling with your white t-shirt and shorts on while she plays in her bikini in the water with the guy that took his shirt off and offered to pick her up and play chicken with the neighboring couple.  

Make some moves man, grow some balls.  You need to kiss a woman within the first or second date.  Any further you have indefinitely been classified as a friend, also when she asks you to a lunch date on date one or two or when she pays her own tab you have been friend zoned.  Im sorry, not sorry.  You can absolutely move from this zone, but its insanely hard if you have been put there, to get out  Stranger and more awesome things have happened though.  

 Next were moving on to the hotter type guys, we start with the 9-10 hotness but he’s a 7-8 on the crazy scale.  This is your “Im just here for a good time zone.”  You will not be marrying this guy.  You fully know going into it already he’s not meant to be in your life or long term guy.  He’s the good time boy, and you’re all about that good time.  This is your fear of commitment men, one night stands, your peter pans (the guy who doesn’t grow up for those that haven’t read my earlier blogs), the guy you met in the bar that one time, the guy that texts you on occasion and frankly just anyone you wouldn’t want to introduce your family or friends to. Again, this man can move out of this zone but if the woman feels that thats all he is or ever was or will be, he will most likely remain right there.  Its safe and comfortable for everyone involved. You’re not here for a long time, just a good time as the song states and sums up this part of the blog perfectly. 

Next we have our once again 9-10 hot, and our 6-7 on the crazy scale.  This is “Hey, were dating now zone”  We will and want to introduce these men to our parents, friends and possibly even kids if it gets serious enough.  You see a future with this man indefinitely and he has proven to have husband like qualities you could see being with for awhile.  You have fun when you’re together and fight rarely when apart.  You’re crazy about him, and he’s crazy about you. Putting this in more vulgar terms which just so happens to be one of my favorite ways to put things, this is the person you see sleeping with for a long time!  He satifys you sexually, mentally and emotionally.  You feel whole.  He’s also even grown to be a good friend of yours and someone you have built some trust into.  Sometimes you get your good time boy and hey were dating now zone guy twisted.  Its not your fault, one person just thought more of what it was than the other person.   Move on to the next hoping he will remain on the same page as you.  

We are still in the 9-10 hot category and this man weighs a easy 5-6 on the crazy scale.  This is the “he actually put a ring on it zone.”  He found you so charming and beautiful and the full package so much so that he decided he wanted all you had to offer enough to last him a lifetime.  He could have also knocked you up and now feels “its the right thing to do” regardless you got the ring.  These men have turned full domestic on you.  He does dishes, makes you sandwiches and even takes your temperature rectally when he thinks you have a fever and you feel fine.  Ok yeah, I went to far with that one.  But really you’ve got yourself a man who doesn’t drive you entirely crazy, he’s sweet, cares and loves you and wants to try this being with one human for a lifetime thing.  You’re a lucky woman to find him and I’d keep him safe if I were you.  Lots of women kill for the guy who even thinks or makes that plunge saying he would want to be with one woman his entire life.  Even if that woman is not her.  

Remaining in the 9-10 hot area, but this one rates a 3-5 crazy on the scale.  This my friends, is your “Pegasus Zone.”  This is your man who doesn’t actually exist.  He feels for you emotionally, without being too sensitive. He cares for his body and doesn’t ever let himself go or grow a beer gut.  He is ready to go when you are, for all of your sexual needs. Lets not kid ourselves either, have you seen the package on a pegasus?  He as well enjoys oral.  He draws you baths when you’ve had a hard day, even lights candles and offers massages and doesn’t expect sex afterward unless,  of course you’re game.  This man is your pegasus and earns his name by being so unbelievably in tune with your needs that you wonder if he’s even real.  Please much like the unicorn, study him, catch him, replicate him, and feed him plenty of bacon to keep him alive and happy.  Don’t let this one go, you’ll never find another.  He is rare.  

I know you’re ready for the finale here, lets wrap this puppy up and put a bow on it with the last and final category.  This is your 9-10 hot, and you’re 1-2 crazy.  He measures 1-2 mostly because you understand him so well.  You know his ins and outs and you know how to please him emotionally and mentally.  Mostly because its what you’d like someone to do for you.  You have caught yourself a true blue, no doubts about it gay man!  He in tune with you as much as you are in tune with him.  Congratulations honestly, I have said several times I could totally be game to outsource my sexual needs and raise a cute little family with a stud like hot gay man.   People would awe at us as we walked by, our family pictures would be on point because he’s fabulously awesome and fierce.  He understands your needs and grants you time to outsource your sexual desires of course you need to keep it on the down low because we don’t want to alarm the children.  You will have to also understand his needs for someone who isn’t you, and its not you because you have a vagina.  Regardless, you will go home that night, watch a chick flick and fall asleep with your head on his shoulder in heavenly matrimony.  Its not realistic but sure is sweet to think about isn’t it ladies?

That wraps this up, however I must state that just because I am the author of this piece doesn’t exactly mean I agree with everything said here.  Again its mostly like the original, was only meant for comedic value, not to hurt or harm anyone.  I also leave you women with the advice that when classifying the 9-10 hot on this scale please know that could mean he started as the 6 or 7 to you and made his way to your 9-10 on the hot scale.  The hottest men are not always the 9 or 10 on this scale. He changes your views by having an amazing personality or a sense of humor a woman would die to have in her life daily.  Men when I talk about hotness it doesn’t necessarily mean physically, it means the full package.  Mentally, Physically and Emotionally.  Now you may continue your regular daily life knowing the world is at balance again.  

[theworstbob]

the thing journal, 4.2.2017

scattered thoughts on the things i took in over the last seven days. this week: matt pryor, boyhood, julien baker, literally show me a healthy person, drake i guess, the goldfinch, the discovery, dave chappelle

1) Memento Mori, by Matt Pryor: i mean yeah, it's an album of acoustic folk songs? so i don't. i'm sure there's a lot that can be said about this album? but i'm so not the person to say those things, i could listen to this album again and again and try my best, but i can't be that person. this is no one's fault but my own, i'm not gonna be like "nyeh, this album sucks" because this happens to be something i don't typically dig, because i'm just not the kind of person that listens to folk. (don't you listen to country?) yeah but in country everyone's drunk and heartbroken, this is, i dunno, adult? yeah too adult for me, and i'm comfortable admitting that. (aren't you 27?) listen.

2) Boyhood, dir. Richard Linklater: So it IS possible to be absolutely dazzled by MOVIE-MAKING MAGIC yet be left kind of cold by the finished product. The story of how this film was made is cool, and you can feel the love and passion for this project oozing from the seams, but this is also a film about how a young boy grew up to become a college student with bad facial hair?, and there's a limit to how engaging I find those types of stories. So it's tough, because this is a film completely unlike anything else before it and an absolute treat to watch and think about (gosh, the pains one must have to go through to shoot a film over 14 years and make the finished product look cohesive!), but also a story I could get literally anywhere else. I thought the overall product was fantastic, but enough other people have been waving their flags hard enough and long enough that I'm okay not adding my own to it.

3) Sprained Ankle, by Julien Baker: This week, Bob! attempts to digest three quiet indie things despite not being all that into quiet indie things! For what it's worth, I know I have to give this a more attentive listen, this sort of music would pair better with list-making than it did with Mario Kart 7. I won a race where I had fewer Mario Kart points than all but one other dude in the field. I won the race with a last-turn pass and only by half a second maybe, and once I saw I took 1st, I shouted at my Nintendo 2DS, "REMEMBER THE FUCKING NAME," while alone in my apartment. The Mario Kart 7 headspace is not condusive to an album in which a young woman sings songs about death. I will say: even spending the first listen shouting at Mario Kart 7, I could still tell there was tremendous depth to be plumbed, so at least this thing was able to permeate the mania. Every now and then I'd hear a lyric ("I'm screaming at myself in public/I know I shouldn't act this way in public") and think "oh fuck, that's me, I need more time with this."

4) literally show me a healthy person, by Darcie Wilder: I don't know that any one thing has had a greater influence on my writing, if not my outlook on life, over the last year or so than the 333333333433333 Twitter account. Darcie Wilder is an absolute master of that form. I deleted my Twitter because the website is exhausting and I couldn't handle it (also real talk I'm just a fucking dude in Minneapolis, why do I need to worry about my brand), but hers is one of select few accounts I still visit on a regular basis because the Posts are just that Good, and her voice is perfectly represented in this book. Lesser writers would have published a compendium of tweets. Wilder presents something between a monologue and a short story collection, a recap of the day's thoughts, her mind bouncing from fun thoughts about rats to THIS IS SOMETHING I DID WHICH I DEEPLY REGRET like a mind actually does. It's dope as hell. It's the best thing I've ever read that I was able to knock out in three and a half bus rides. (Also, there's a passage in this book that is just a two-word sentence, "bob died," and it is my favorite instance of my name appearing in a work of art since Undertale.)

5) More Life, by Drake: I took an Intro to Film course at community college, because I like film AND I liked taking classes to help fill the art credit requirement! I took this class in 2008, so naturally, people were abuzz about some of the classics that had been released late in 2007, like There Will Be Blood. The professor DID NOT like There Will Be Blood. When pressed, he said something along the lines of: "There's no story! Daniel Plainview begins the movie as a monster, and he ends the movie as a monster. What changed? What did we spend two hours of our lives watching?" And while I don't agree with his assessment of the film, his perspective has stayed with me. Why do I bring that up? Who knows! Anyway this is the same album Drake has been making for nearly a decade and listening to it didn't enrich my life in any meaningful way because I already listened to other Drake albums. Also this was fucking 80 minutes long and even if I enjoyed Drake's whole thing, there is no excuse for a feature-film-length album, like calm down, just who the fuck do you think you are even? I spent less time reading literally show me a healthy person than I did listening to More Life. That's stupid and I hate it.

6) The Goldfinch, by Donna Tratt: This was recommended to me by a friend, so that's how I read this story about a young man who gets big into antiquing, and now I'm offering a review where, not only am I out of depth trying to proffer literary criticism, it's not even the sort of book that I'd come to on my own, so now I'm HELLA out of depth. This book is written in this elegant, austere way, and I loved the moments in the book where the author was just describing things, this book is at its best when no one is talking, but it was always somewhat jarring when a reference to modern technology was made. It felt odd and out-of-step with the rest of the novel, to have the odd reference to video games or iPods, like what's technology doing here, get out of here, I wanna read about the chairs this dude's been selling. But overall, I dug this book. It's about grief and the power of art and how decisions you make when you're 13 still influence the rest of your life, all things I’m into, and it was a welcome change of pace from what I usually read. (You mean nothing?) Again, listen:

7) The Discovery, dir. Charlie McDowell: ah just what i need a cloudy-day movie about suicide So like, I remember watching The Happening for a Bad Movie Night and thinking that the worst thing the movie did was squander an intriguing premise. There was a good movie somewhere inside The Happening, a movie about how to keep yourself believing life is still worth living, and it's not a perfect one-to-one translation of course, but The Discovery is pretty danged close to being the film I thought The Happening could be. Maybe it's a matter of scale: it takes this concept, "What would happen if science proved the existence of an afterlife?" and applies it to this small family drama, the son of the man who found the proof and their efforts to find out what the afterlife is. It has an offbeat sense of humor (I never realized how much I needed to see Jason Segel and Jesse Plemmons just hangin' out), and I appreciated the hell out of the final twist (even if I could have done without the Usual Suspectsy montage of moments from earlier which presaged the twist; "Look at all the foreshadowing we did! Aren't we such clever boys?" ugh i mean as someone who once paid enough attention to game of thrones to be able to identify every single white dude with a beard, i find that kind of shit annoying, i KNOW he said those things, i was WATCHING your FILM). I found much to enjoy about this film, even if "enjoy" is a weird word to apply to a film where a suicide counter figures prominently in the background.

8) Deep in the Heart of Texas, Dave Chappelle: I think a lot of what I said about his other Netflix thing applies here. The focus was a bit tighter, but ESPECIALLY here, it felt at times like he was telling jokes he wrote a few years ago that he just really wanted to get on television. He did a run on "Wait (The Whisper Song)." I didn't know people were still talking about that. He attributed "Wait (The Whisper Song)" to 50 Cent. One, you think people are gonna remember "Wait (The Whisper Song)," but won't remember The Yin Yang Twins? Two, you're gonna attribute it to 50 Cent? Come on, man. Say Lil' Jon. Lil' Jon is as current a reference as 50 Cent (moreso, actually, given "Turn Down for What"), that name is at least in the ballpark, and it's an easy applause line for you, like dude, shape up, I know it's not that simple but I'm pretty sure I've nailed it. But this was still more good than bad, and it still provided exquisite shots of white people in the front row who somehow didn't know who they had paid to see. Gosh, you could just smell the "well, actually" on some of those bros. That's the best part of these specials.

[successhabitsofleaders-blog]

The Secret To Courageous Living Discovered by "The Real Indiana Jones"

At some point between 18 and 50, you stop, look around and ask yourself: “Is THIS it?"

You work all day doing pointless work in an uninspiring job. You sit in infuriating bumper-to-bumper rush hour traffic. You drive to your local grocery store with the sterile fluorescent lights. You return home to spend a few hours mindlessly surfing the net - too tired to do the things that would set your life in motion. The grand vision of your life seems like a distant fantasy.

As a culture, we've become complacent to work a mediocre job, drive a mediocre car, return to a mediocre home, eat mediocre food, have mediocre relationships, watch mediocre shows on Netflix, lay in mediocre bed where we buy mediocre products on Amazon, binge internet surf on mediocre social media and get mediocre sleep. We wake up only to do the same mediocre routine again and again.

There are too many mediocre things. Your life experience should not be one of them.

What happened to bold living?

What happened to excitement?

What happened to novelty?

What happened to inspiration?

What happened to your spark?

Modern adult life is designed to stamp out your aspirations with the ruthlessness of a honey badger attacking an abandoned limping baby gazelle. 

Moreover, we wonder why we are the most overweight, overworked, over medicated, over-educated, stressed out, anxious, in-debt cohort of adults in the history of the earth.

Previous generations fought wars of life and death. Our war is one of spirit.

 Enter “The Real Life Indiana Jones”

Answers for the future can often be found by digging in the past and perhaps there is no better example of courageous living than Jon Goddard. Some call him “The Real Indiana Jones” others call him the world's biggest adventure junkie. Regardless, we can all learn something from the way he unapologetically lived life.

On a rainy day in 1939, a 15-year-old John Goddard sat down at the kitchen table of his Los Angeles home with a yellow legal pad felt the spark of inspiration.

Staring at the yellow legal pad, he asked the big question:

“What do I want to do with my life?”

Inspired by the muse of the moment he wrote down three words at the top of the page: “MY LIFE LIST.”

The words stared back, simple and clear. The vision of Goddard’s future appeared and his hand wrote the vision which appeared in front of him.

The inspired Goddard started wrote and did not stop until 127 "Life List" goals stared back at him. Each goal originated in passion, curiosity and his unique search for meaning.

Inspired by the muse of the moment he wrote down three words at the top of the page: “MY LIFE LIST.”

The words stared back, simple and clear. The vision of Goddard’s future appeared, and his hand wrote the image which appeared in front of him. He wrote and did not stop until 127 "Life List" goals stared back at him on the yellow pages. Each goal originated in a place of passion, curiosity and his unique search for meaning.

His Life List goals were not simple or easy. They were not SMART goals. However, his goals had the two elements which precede any significant achievement or life breakthrough: Clarity and curiosity. Goals without these two elements are just dreams.

His goals included climbing Mt Kilimanjaro, “milking” a poisonous snake, speaking Arabic, writing a book, reading the collective works of Shakespeare, owning a cheetah, exploring the Nile River, and learning Jujitsu. Some of were downright crazy (visit the moon).

When Goddard passed in 2013, he had lived a life of adventure, achievement, happiness, and purpose, accomplishing 109 of his 127 "Life List" goals. [1]

Perhaps he was the world's greatest goal achiever.

 Reintroducing "The Life List"

If you think reading, writing, and podcasting about personal development means I have it figured out you are completely wrong. For the most of 2016, I was stuck. Unable to make progress towards my long-term goals. Stuck in a cycle of procrastination, perfectionism, and resistance. Just plain stuck.

While I could describe all of my problems with all of the vocabulary and flair of a seasoned high-performance coach, there was little I could do to drag my ass back into a state of actually producing (actually working towards my goals).

Like many people who feel stuck, I kept asking the bigger picture questions like:

"What is my purpose?"

"How can I make money and still live in a meaningful way?"

"What does God / The Universe want me to do with my life?"

"What do I need to accomplish in order to die complete?"

Nothing.

I kept asking. Still nothing.

When I do not make progress, I am not happy. When I am not happy, I get stuck in my head. When I get stuck in my head, I think too much and don't produce. And the cycle continues.

Around this time, my mastermind partner Robert James Collier recognized what was going on. He introduced me to the concept of The Life List and Goddard. After reading his article, I felt the spark come back.

Inspired by Goddard and the Life Lists of my mastermind partners (check out Robert's here and Sunny's here) I decided to create my own. Like Goddard, I sat down with a legal pad, put myself back into the mind of my 15-year-old self and started writing, remembering what I wanted to accomplish as a youth, young adult and a man.

I wrote until my fingers hurt and didn't stop until five pages were filled.

To my surprise, the missing sense of clarity, purpose, and direction returned. My spark returned. My mind opened again, and the ego slithered back into the depths of my subconscious.

Many of the things I wrote were utterly insane (go to space… i still want to), and some were quite tangible (read the works of Thoreau). In any case, I was excited again. I had a roadmap and felt a sense of clarity for the first time in months.

Since writing my initial list, I have checked off three items - build a dining room table for my family, make a home and give a best man speech. Instead of these moments passing into obscurity, I was able to fully appreciate and understand the magnitude of the moment and experience deep states of fulfillment, joy, and purpose. Each accomplished “Life List” item felt like a tremendous achievement and inspired me to tackle another "Life List" item.

I want the same for you and challenge you to create your Life List.

 Here’s how:

Sit down with a notepad (put your phone in the other room and do not use a computer).

Set a timer for 25 minutes.

Remember what you wanted to achieve when you were 13, 14 or 15.

Write MY LIFE LIST across the top.

Begin. Write what inspires you. Don't worry if it is realistic or not. Your only criteria for success is if it sparks your curiosity.

Think about it for a few more minutes.

If nothing else comes to mind, stop. Take a break and do something active like walking around the park, run errands, play a round of golf, hit the gym or take a nap. When something pops into your head, write it down.

Keep the list with you for an entire week, writing down everything which comes to mind.

Compare your list with the lists of others for inspiration. Remember, "Good artists copy; great artists steal" – Picasso. (Check out Goddards original list here)

Refine. Rework. Redraft.

Keep the items which inspire you. Discard the rest.

Place your list in a place where you frequently have to look at it. Your desk, wall or social media profile are good places to start. 

As more ideas come to you over the coming weeks, months and years add to your list. Discard anything that grows stale.

When opportunity knocks take advantage and start crossing off items on your list. 

 Your Call To Action

"The first move toward mastery is always inward - learning who you really are and reconnecting with that innate force. Knowing it with clarity, you will find your way to the proper career path, and everything else will fall into place. It is never too late to start this process."  -- Robert Greene, Mastery

At some point you’ll stop and realize “THIS IS IT”. You’ll understand the only way to find your “path in life”, “your purpose” or “make an impact” is to reconnect with your natural curiosity and let it guide your decision making.

The best way to do this is by first creating your Life List. 

 Resources:

[1] http://www.johngoddard.info

[cover2covermom]

*Books included in this batch of mini book reviews: With the Fire on High by Elizabeth Acevedo, Deconstructing Penguins: Parents, Kids, and and the Bond of Reading by Lawrence & Nancy Goldstone, Daisy Jones and the Six by Taylor Jenkins Reid, and Dark Matter by Blake Crouch

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        » With the Fire on High by Elizabeth Acevedo

I adored Elizabeth Acevedo’s debut novel, The Poet X, so I was very excited to read her next book.  I listened to her first book via audiobook, and fell in love with the author’s narration.  I chose to listen to Fire on High via audiobook as well, which was AMAZINGLY narrated once again by the author.

I loved Fire on High just as much as The Poet X!  I typically stay away from YA contemporary for various reasons, but if all YA contemporary was as good as Acevedo’s books, I’d definitely read more.  Not only do her characters feel so realistic, but you can’t help but fall in love with them.  Acevedo has this amazing way with words that packs such a punch of emotion.  I’ll read anything Acevedo writes!

With the Fire on High is a coming of age story of Emoni, a teen mom that is trying to figure out her path in life.  Themes included in With the Fire on High are friendship, family, strained parental relationships, teen parenting, poverty, going after your dreams, juggling responsibilities, etc.  This book has just enough depth to the story without bogging it down paired with just enough fluffy moments to keep it light-hearted & fun.

Emoni was an amazing YA female lead.  I loved her passion, maturity, creativity, and dedication.  I absolutely love that Acevedo tackled a book with a teen mother as the main character.  Teen parents are often absent from young adult books OR they are only secondary characters.   I think this has to do with the fact that teen pregnancy & parenthood is such a taboo topic.  I was very happy to see teen parenting not only portrayed in a YA book, but handled well.  

Since Emoni is an aspiring chief, I’d highly recommend this book to “foodies” as it centers around food and cooking.  It definitely should include a disclaimer to not read while hungry… you’ll definitely be heading to the kitchen for a snack.

I’d venture to say With the Fire on High is going to be my favorite YA contemporary of 2019, and is definitely one of my favorite YA contemporaries of all times.

» Deconstructing Penguins: Parents, Kids, and and the Bond of Reading by Lawrence & Nancy Goldstone

*3.5 Stars*

This was a very interesting little book about a husband & wife team that run book clubs for parents & their children.  The Goldstone team encourages book club members to be “book detectives” and work on breaking down books into their elements (characters: protagonist vs antagonist, setting, themes, etc.) to really dig into what the author was trying to convey with the books they read.

The authors go through and talk about a selection of the books they frequently utilize in their book clubs in detail laying out questions they frequently ask & how they get members to think like a “book detective.”  I would like to warn readers that Deconstructing Penguins includes spoilers of all the books discussed, so if you do not want to be spoiled for these books, you might not want to pick this up.

I did think this would be a beneficial book for ELA teachers, librarians, parents, or youth book club leaders to pick up.   I really loved the idea of a parent-child book club as a way for parents to not only bond with their children, but also allow parents to instill a love for reading in their children.

My only criticism of the book would be that I STRONGLY disagree with the Goldstone’s on their opinion on which books children should be reading…

What children read is important.  The theory that it doesn’t matter what your child reads as long as he or she is reading something is plain wrong.

I strongly disagree with this statement.  I subscribe to the theory that it doesn’t matter what your children read as long as they are reading, whether that be graphic novels, comic books, sports magazines, etc.  The whole point is to instill the love for reading into children so that they will grow up to be life-long readers.  Allow those comic books and graphic novels to be gateways to fiction novels.  Allow sports magazines to be gateways to nonfiction books.

» Daisy Jones and the Six by Taylor Jenkins Reid

Daisy Jones and the Six was on my list of most anticipated books of 2019 after reading The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo last year.   Did Daisy Jones knock Evelyn Hugo off as my favorite Taylor Jenkins Reid book?  No, but I still very much loved Daisy Jones!

Daisy Jones and the Six is about about the rise and fall of a rock band in the 70s.  Told in interview format from many different characters, predominantly the band members themselves, Reid gives us various perspectives on what exactly happened between the band members and all the factors that contributed to their demise.

Since I knew this was in interview format going into the book, I feel like I was able to prepare myself that this was not going to read like a traditional novel.  When I read Daisy Jones and the Six, I pictured a classic rock band documentary playing out in my mind… one of those documentaries that you would have seen on VH1 or MTV back in the day, or nowadays on Netflix.  

I think the interview format suited this story perfectly.  Because we are given so many different perspectives, I feel like it really gave us another layer of drama to the story.  I enjoyed seeing all the inconsistencies between the characters’ accounts of certain events, or how they each interpreted certain situations.  

 After reading Daisy Jones and the Six, I had to keep reminding myself that all the characters were works of fiction and not real people.  I had to resist the urge to go to Google to learn more about these band members.  Reid has a gift for giving us realistic & complex characters.  The complexities of the characters, Daisy, Billy, Karen & Camila in particular, blew me away.  You definitely cannot claim that these characters are one-dimensional.  After reading Evelyn Hugo and Daisy Jones, I really appreciate how Reid gives us complex female main characters that you don’t necessarily like, but you respect for their strength, ambition, & determination. 

Daisy Jones and the Six had lots of feminist undertones throughout.  Daisy, Camila, & Karen were such strong women, all in different ways.  There were lots of quotable moments in this book…

I had absolutely no interest in being somebody else’s muse.  I am not a muse. I am the somebody. End of fucking story.

Men often think they deserve a sticker for treating women like people.

Daisy Jones and the Six really explores many aspects of the music industry, both positive and negative.  I really enjoyed reading about the creative process side of making music.  I also really enjoyed seeing all the drama & tension that can come when more than one artist comes together to create.  We are also shown many of the different problems often associated with the music industry: drugs, alcohol, infidelities, etc.   If you are a lover of music, especially classic rock, I definitely think you’d enjoy this book. 

This book was meant for TV or film adaptation, so I was not surprised to hear that it is being opted by Amazon and Reese Witherspoon for a TV series.

» Dark Matter by Blake Crouch

Dark Matter is what I like to call a “mind f***.”   You know those books that mess with your head and leave you disoriented?  This is one of those books!  I am going to keep this mini review short and sweet and not go into too much detail because I feel Dark Matter is best experienced going in without knowing too much.

I think Blake Crouch did a wonderful job taking such a complex theory and constructing a story accessible to all different kinds of readers.  Dark Matter would appeal to a wide variety of readers: science fiction, thriller, romance etc.  Now, I know a lot of people say that at its core, Dark Matter is a love story.  While that does have some truth to it, do not let that scare you off if you are not a fan of romance.  Personally, I do not gravitate towards books where the romance is the focus of the story.  The romance included in this story was not overpowering, thus did not bother me in the slightest.  In fact, I enjoyed it!  That’s right, my little black heart grew two sizes while reading this book.  There was definitely enough depth and action to the story line to keep me happy and balance out the love story portion of the book.

I read this book with one of my book clubs and it made for an excellent discussion.  There are so many aspects to this story that sparked a lively discussion.  There were so many parts of this story that I stopped and thought to myself, “what would I have done?” 

  Have you read any of these books?  If so, what did you think?

Comment below & let me know 🙂

Mini Book Reviews: July 2019 (Part 1) #BookReview #Books #Reading #BookBlogger #Bookworm *Books included in this batch of mini book reviews: With the Fire on High by Elizabeth Acevedo, 

[thetemporarysanctuary-blog]

#PlantGoals

So last blog post was just a little about what you are going to find here at Temporary Sanctuary and a little about why I started this space. Now I want to start giving you, my readers, something that you can practically use in your own homes.

So lets talk plants....

So if you have been living under a rock for the last say twelve months or so, let me just fill you in. Plants used within interior design have had a boom! Like I mean serious boom! I dare you to Pinterest search ‘living room’ and I can guarantee that ninety if not one hundred percent of the images you see would have some sort of indoor plant within the area. This is not by coincidence. Using plants is a diverse and practical resource and their lush green vibes provide a great addition to any colour pallet.

I got my first plant maybe three years ago and I wasn’t a big believer in this indoor plant conspiracy. Back then I tended to opt for the fake kind of plant as it was a whole lot easier to look after and my nineteen year old self didn’t want the responsibility and commitment of having to take care of a living thing. But I decided to give it ago and surprisingly I found myself with a green thumb. A few years had past and things were still looking good. I had learnt a bit about my plant and could always tell when it needed some love and water. That was until we added a kitten to the mix. Our beloved little fur ball had quickly found a love for chewing and digging not long after she had moved in and unfortunately the poor plant took a beating. So much in fact that I was going to give up on the #plantgoals dream. I was determined not to give up and let my first ever, real life, living plant die. Thankfully with a bit of guidance from my back hand and my husbands right arm throw, our fur baby learnt to love plants as much as we did. That’s not to say that every now and then she still doesn’t try to push the boundaries and have a little nibble. Its still a work in progress.

But why plants you ask? I was hoping you would ask, let my fill you in! Plants not only look fresh and appealing to the eye but they are also so beneficial to every home and promote and create clean air within the home. Now who wouldn’t want to be sucking in clean air while you binge watch your favourite Netflix series? I know I would! Not only do they clean and purify the air they have been known to lower the chances of illness, boost your mood (come on lady’s we all need a little help when it comes to PMS), they enhance concentration and memory and they also promote healing. Now that is an epic list of reasons into why you should add plants into your home.

Yeah, yeah okay Emilie you have told me why they are so great but I just have no idea how to add them to the design of my house. No worries this is where I can provide you with the answers. Plants are so great because without us knowing it they can create depth and texture wherever they are put. Let me show you some examples of plants I have used within my home.

Here I have a fiddle leaf fig plant that I am so super impressed by, my husband surprised me with this for my birthday last week, I almost cried when I saw it! Its has been paired with another smaller plant in front to give the impression of a fuller feeling when in fact there is really not much going on. Like seriously I have a tv on a basic stand and two plants, it’s definitely not something that screams amazing but it does the job. By also placing the taller plant where I have it has created a barrier between the entry and the lounge room. So what I am saying here is that plants can be used to create barriers or lets say a “temporary�� wall and a fuller feel to a simple design.

I like to use plants to create dynamics in a room. Up until the rental we are in now we have not been able to hang anything on the walls and this is not an unusual thing in rental properties. This is why I intentionally purchased some taller plants. Using taller plants can help eliminate the feeling of your walls being bare (see example above). I know I have walked into a lot of my friends rental houses and I often get this feeling of being overwhelmed and cluttered when I am just sitting in a near empty room, can anyone else relate? I believe this because everything is so close to the ground. In the above photos you can see that by just adding the one plant it doesn’t feel so bare and empty.

Using plants within your house also creates interest. If your lucky you may live in a house where you can hang a picture on a wall. Good for you! For most renters we do not have that luxury. Plants give you and the guests that may come to your home something interesting and unique to look at.

It’s really not hard to add a few plants into your house and they are really not that hard to look after. My hot tips for plants within a rental are:

1. Always water your plants outside, no one and especially your landlord, likes wet carpet.

2. Move your plants around a few times until you are happy with the placement.

3. Try and find interesting pots that are going to complement your colour scheme.

4. Be bold and buy some big plants. #treatyoself.

5. Find someone who knows a bit about plant care and make them your bestie, so you can ask the tough hitting questions like, how do I actually look after this plant?

6. Sit back and breath that purified air girlfriend!

Well I hope you can now have your #plantgoals in your own Temporary Sanctuary. Thanks for reading and if you think your friends, your mum or your next door neighbour would find this post helpful it would be amazing if you could like, comment and share this post.

E. x