#((to be erased from randall's mind-his memories are few but he still has them-))

[theheadlessgroom]

@beatingheart-bride

"I don't think she's ever mentioned how they met and married," he shrugged, thinking a little more about it-he wanted to say she may have mentioned in passing that they married after she took over the haberdashery, but even then, he wasn't sure. Minnie seemed to like gossip unless it involved her, and outside of complaining about her husband, she talked very little about her past.

"I'm sure it goes without saying now, but...I only ever want to marry for love," Randall smiled shyly, as he took Emily's hand in his, eyes full of quiet adoration as he gazed at her, his future wife. He hoped the two of them would have a long and happy marriage not only like they did in the future (how bittersweet it was to think that, even as ghosts, even when they were apart, they were still happily married, they still loved each other), but like his parents, who were happy together all their days, even in the face of so much discrimination from their neighbors.

"I never want to be that miserable," he continued, pale cheeks turning a soft pink as he gave Emily's hand a gentle squeeze. "And...I know I-we-never will be. I just...I can't see it happening! Even if I didn't know the future from what you've told me, I...I have a very good feeling that we'll always love each other, no matter what happens."

He punctuated this with a kiss to her knuckle, his heart skipping a little beat when he did so-theirs was a love that had already survived so many ages, and he believed in his heart of hearts that, even as they changed the future, it would stay that way.

[uwumessenger]

random headcanons i have for each om! character teehee

hi it's been a while since ive posted some hcs bc uni has been kicking my a$$! luckily i only have a few papers to tidy up and im done. here r some hcs for each obey me character that ive accumulated over the past few months wink wonk

most are random but some constants you'll find are what i think they smell like, languages they can speak (other than their native (demon/angel) and eng/jp), and music tastes !

lucifer

i have a strong feeling that he showers twice a day: in the morning after waking up and at night before going to bed

his cologne is probably the type that will last in an elevator for like a week after he uses it once. i dont think this mf ever smells like anything other than his cologne

has a secret folder on his phone of semi-nudes and other scandalous pics from when he felt sexy at the time omg

aside from demon language/eng/jp he can speak french and knows latin

listens to classical stuff yea but he also listens to diavolos mixtapes (re: diavolo's section)

not a fan of sweets but will eat sweet things when craving

really bland sense of humor...borderline cringey 😭✋🏻

mammon

has gone to google images and searched for "inspirational quotes tumblr" "gold aesthetic tumblr" & "relatable crush post tumblr" then reposts it onto his socials or just taps thru them and giggles bc he relates

his cologne doesnt last as long as lucifers and probably smells common. he has to reapply a lot but it's a people pleasing smell. it's cheaper hence the constant reapplying

he probably does have an expensive bottle but is the type to totally overspray...eek

he is canonically a car guy 🥲 and probably tells the one in his room good morning & good night + kisses the hood every once in a while. has tons of car magazines

he doesnt really speak other languages but has attempted to learn spanish before

listens to whatever is on the radio. doesnt rly stan anyone but he eventually will listen to mc's playlist and mc's playlist ONLY

levi

lurks on mc's socials ALL THE TIMEEEE like he will rewatch ur stories and scroll thru ur feed and overanalyze ur tweets/rts or blog posts. if ur mc isnt the type to use sns much he still googles ur name all the damn time just to find any sites u might be on fjdjdjdjskks

probably streams on whatever youtube or twitch devildom site equivalent there is, but only has like 40 or so followers. which he is okay with!

until he sees someone else who gets more attention than him. then the envy starts kicking in bad. especially if they suck 🧍🏻‍♀️

classic gamer boy smell. you know, sweat, tears, must, and (sometimes) axe deodorant. lucifer has to do a scent check before he goes out to any event & lets him use his cologne. how sweet!

kpop stan!! more girl groups than anything and his ults are probably GIRLS GENERATION, wonder girls, twice, loona, & red velvet

cried when ioi disbanded and refused to leave his room. the only thing u could hear was downpour on loop at full blast

can also speak korean & communicate in echolocation like dolphins 😏

satan

listens to country music you cant change my mind

smells like whatever environment he is in. he doesnt really have a designated smell just throws some deodorant on and goes about his day.

he's sooooo bad at driving...gets road rage way too often so his license has been REVOKED

but hes totally a backseat driver. needs to be sedated on long trips

do not let him watch finding nemo when luke asks to watch it. it's not worth it. he will cause mass destruction.

if he was a human or lived long term in the human world he totally has the ability to be a doctor

is studying as many languages as possible, but he mostly knows latin & french & german etc etc. wants to learn all the dead languages out of curiousity

asmo

dont think this mf has ever held down a relationship. ever

he doesnt compromise much & is not willing to change his lifestyle to fit an s/o into it. you keep up with how he lives or it just isnt meant to be (but dont worry! he'll eventually learn...maybe,,,,)

has the hardest time out of everyone when it comes to breaking bad habits

his smell varies bc he uses a variety of perfumes (whatever is the most popular at the time) but he probably sticks to floral and fresh scents. he never uses generic people pleaser scents like mammon

listens to electropop, mainstream pop, & some alternative rock

as for languages he too knows french, spanish, italian, etc. in general, if it's a romance language he knows it!

opposite of lucifer in the sense where he loves sweets and will refrain from eating too many bitter things

i think we all know that asmo is the biggest rockstar of the group! he's probably been in a boy band at least once, but now he makes his own music

has tried to teach mammon how to sing once. ended up in a broken piano and bleeding ears...

beel

i feel like he is SO SHY

like unless ur close to him he will not start conversations or anything

i think he listens to r&b a lot ! and jazz 😎 maybe rock as well

smells like ur typical athlete with undertones of wet wipes. he carries them around bc he likes to clean his hands before he eats & is prepared for when theres no sink nearby

he can drive and he drives really well. no rough turns, parallel parks perfectly, and never has problems with merging

driving with beel is probably really soothing. left hand is steering the other is gripping ur thigh 😫

dont think hes really fluent in any other language but hes probably semi fluent in korean because levi wanted beel to help him out

definitely know how to order food in practically every language tho HAHAHA

belphie

he reminds me of randall from monsters inc

smells kinda musty IM SORRY but not the way levi does hes more like the kind of musty u feel or smell when it's a shitty morning

but that's only because hes so lazy, when he cleans up hes like satan

has definitely murdered multiple people before. mc is not the first 😐✋🏻

with that being said belphie has been put into prison at least twice when visiting the human world, the mf had such a strong hatred for humans theres no way he never got into trouble before

lucifer probably broke him out and they used the pen thingies from men in black to erase everyones memory of that 🙄

dont think he listens to anything other than music that'll put him to sleep. really likes lazy song by bruno mars but thinks that bruno mars put too much effort into the song. should have been one acapella verse and then finish

similar to beel hes only semi fluent in one language, probably french bc of lucifer. doesnt remember much but knows a couple of lullabies and bedtime stories

the sandman used to be his bff until they drifted. they do, however, like and comment on each other's sns posts.

diavolo

once he found out who nicki minaj was he became her #1 stan

def an ariana grande stan too 😌

choreographs dances when hes stressed...idk just seems like a diavolo thing to do

also makes rly bad soundcloud rap music sometimes. turns to poetry when hes feeling emo but only lucifer knows this. barbatos is suspicious of him but doesnt have enough evidence to confirm.

his dad is like hudson abadeer from adventure time aka marceline's dad? something must have influenced him to want to unite the 3 realms + he would need the approval to do so, so his dad must be more chill than all the others before him 🧍🏻‍♀️ IDK ok anyway

currently going through his hamilton phase bc of mc. whether mc's intent was to get him hooked onto it or just to explain it bc of something he saw online, he tells everyone that he found out abt it bc of mc!

this man cannot drive his skills are only second to jumin han

not too fond of many languages but knows the widely spoken ones like spanish, mandarin, etc. if it's taught in high school he knows it

smells like a las vegas casino. not sure why but i feel like he does. but there's also an interesting & nice smell to him if he embraces you. it's a smell you cant quite identify. but it smells nostalgic, it's mysterious, and it's tempting.

barbatos

very calm demeanor but underneath hes WILD hes probably done everything at least once oof

he just has a lot of control and stability over himself (must be nice!)

on a more angsty note i feel like he might have had his heartbroken sO BAD IDK he is hurting and maybe that's why hes so willing to obey diavolo and not abuse his time lord power thingies bc he learned his lesson the hard way

mans is so smart he knows every language you could switch languages mid conversation with him and he wouldnt be thrown off. he'd probably start speaking it too.

BUT HE SPEAKS VIET P E R F E C T L Y

listens to the same stuff as lucifer but also likes eminem. likes the movie 8 mile but criticized it heavily

have you ever been to a chinese herb shop? naturally, he smells like that. his room probably smells like it too. he doesnt really have a significant smell like some of the others

when he bakes he smells like whatever hes baking tho

one of the few out of everyone listed to have been able to travel to literally everywhere

solomon

was probably on kitchen nightmares once, but only to get feedback from chef gordon ramsay. then he used his magic to prevent the episode from airing...

was in an orchestra, one of the best times of his life. played the violin. asmo watched him in the audience once, but didnt approach him until well after that performance.

he CANNOT sing. he can, however, rap.

doesnt listen to music. he listens to podcasts! but every now and then he turns on background music, but prefers it to be instrumental stuff

never wears sunglasses. also does not have a driver's license. cannot drive a regular car. could maybe fly an airplane.

due to his immortality he has learned almost every language to exist, but finds himself speaking mandarin the most. knows most dialects too

similar smell to barbatos but u can also smell some sunscreen on him too. like, generic beach day suncreen

he has a lot of pact marks, so he once had the idea to match foundation to his skin. it took him two weeks but he eventually perfected a combination. yes he will help u find ur perfect shade if u ask him to

simeon

another country music man. has also made a tiktok or two to that one song that goes "he cant even bait a hook." they are private tho

angel country music exists and simeon invented it

if he visits the human world and wears more causal clothing he probably tucks his shirt into his pants

wears a speedo at the beach i tell u, speedo at the beach

he can speak german...i can feel it

uses his pointer finger to type and holds the phone like 2 inches away from his face so sometimes his nose will push a key hence all his typos

has no signature smell. he simply smells like your favorite scent all the time. if multiple people are around him at once, everyone smells a different smell. it's pretty rad

"what does he smell like to himself?" u may be asking. hmm...a church? 💀

luke

his first pet was a goldfish and a few months before the exchange program happened, he was given a koi pond!

secretly likes hanging out with levi sometimes just to play with henry. makes him miss his pet fish back home

so his favorite movie is probably finding nemo and he threw a fit when nemo touched the butt

luke is probably learning german bc of simeon, though he'd like to learn more of the dead languages just for fun

i dont think he listens to music often or has any preferences, he just listens to whatever is playing on the radio

but he finds himself listening to the music mc listens to

smells like freshly baked goods all the time. or fresh laundry. but like, not combined. just depends on the day

[justthehiddleswrites]

Destiny Has Other Plans | Loki x OC | Chapter 8

Pairing: Loki x OFC

MASTERLIST IS HERE

Summary: When Loki goes to ask his father for permission to marry, he is shocked to discover his destiny has already been made for him.  He is already betrothed to Sjofn, the daughter of the King of Vanaheim.  An arranged marriage to bring the two kingdoms closer together and strengthen the bond.  Never mind that Sjofn and Loki can’t stand each other.  

After The Battle of New York, Loki is sent to live at Avengers Tower as punishment for his misdeeds.  But it doesn’t mean he has to like it.   A year later, he has adjusted to life on Midgard but has avoided any romantic or emotional entanglements, still bitter over his lost love.  Dr. Alexis Randall is skilled at helping others fix their relationships as a couple therapist, but can’t help her own love life.  A chance encounter with Loki in a dive bar has life altering consequences for both of them.  Now, Alexis and Loki must figure out a way to co-habit without killing each other in the process, plus navigating impending parenthood and other roadblocks along the way.

This Chapter: Loki and Alexis find out just exactly what Odin has done and life for them is further complicated.

Warnings: Arranged Marriage, Forced Marriage, Pregnancy, Unplanned Pregnancy, Smut, Angst,  Semi-Public Sex, Mentions of law enforcement, Oral Sex, Cursing, Vaginal Sex

Taglists are Open, please let me know if you wish to be added.

-

“I demand to speak to Odin!” Loki commanded the guards at the doors of his old bedchambers. “At least let me see her.”

Odin had left the healing room without an explanation or another word. Soon Asgardian guards entered and escorted Loki here. And here he remained. More frustrated and confused as the seconds passed.

One guard sighed. “She is safe, Prince. You will see her soon.”

“Thank you.” His posture relaxed a bit, knowing Alexis remained safe.

Several hours passed before someone came to fetch him.

“The Allfather wishes an audience.”

Lok frowned as he pushed past the guards. “Good, because I have questions.”

They walked in silence down the opulent hallway. Loki rushed to the throne room doors as he saw Alexis pacing there, her own set of armed guards nearby.

“Darling!”

“Loki!” She ran to him. He captured her in his arms and kissed her passionately. “I don’t understand what is going on.”

Loki pulled back and cupped her face. “All that matters is that you and…” He placed his hand on her stomach. “... this little one are safe.”

“I’m scared, Loki.” Alexis’s voice cracked.

Loki pressed his forehead against her. ���You have nothing to fear with me by your side.”

One guard cleared his throat. “Odin is ready to receive you.”

Loki took a deep breath, and Alexis did the same. He nodded at the guards and the doors opened. Alexis grabbed his hand and squeezed hard as they walked in. It wasn’t until they reached the front of the room that they realized Odin wasn’t alone.

“Father and—”

“Father?!” Alexis exclaimed.

Loki’s head snapped to face her. “Father?”

She pointed at the other man sitting next to Odin. “That’s my father, but he died when I was three, I only remember him in pictures. How is he even here?”

“An excellent question. Care to answer, Freyr?” Loki seethed.

“Odin…” Freyr hissed. “… you said you handled this.”

“I said I would handle it.”

“Then I suggest you do it!”

“Will someone just answer the question?!” Loki’s voice bounced off the walls.

Freyr sighed. “I am her father.”

Loki stumbled. “That would explain why my spell didn’t work. And why—”

Alexis’s shrill voice cut through everything. “WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?”

All eyes in the room turned to her. Her eyes wide in terror, clutching her baby bump. Loki reached for her, but she jerked away.

“Are you saying that I’m… I’m…”

“Vanir. Yes.” Odin finished.

Alexis’s eyes darted between everyone in the room. “No, no, no, no. I’m human! My parents died in a car crash when I was three. An aunt raised me.” She wobbled on her legs and Loki lunged to steady her.

“What have you done to her?” Loki demanded.

Freyr again glanced at Odin, who returned with a silent nod.

“When your plans failed to overthrow Odin, and he banished you to Midgard,” Loki rolled his eyes. “Sjofn believed we had cancelled your pending nuptials. And when she was told they would proceed…”

“News to me. Father.” Loki scowled at Odin.

Freyr continued. “She became hysterical. Destroying rooms in the palace, fighting guards, running away. Reckless.”

“I can’t imagine why.” Alexis sneered from Loki’s arms. “The two of you are monsters for putting a poor girl through all that. An arranged marriage.”

“Not some poor girl. You.” Freyr stared at Alexis. “Odin and I thought it best to send you away. Give you time away from everything until it was time for the wedding.”

“And take away my memories?! My powers?!”

“Not erased.” Odin offered. “Just… blocked. Tucked away until you were ready.”

“You always make it sound so congenial.” Loki stepped in front of Alexis. “As if you are doing your victim a favor. I noticed you conveniently sent her to New York, the same place you banished me.” Loki’s lips curled into a sneer.

“That was my idea.” Odin piped up, strolling down the stairs to join Freyr in front of the couple. “Let serendipity work.”

“How romantic of you.” Alexis snapped.

“I did not expect my son to be so cavalier with his manhood.”

“ENOUGH! I am not your son!” Loki bellowed. “But some pawn in your grand plan. We both are.” He pulled Alexis, Sjofn, whoever, against her. “Restore her memories and let us leave.”

“If only it were that simple.” Odin commented back. “It will take time to restore her memories.”

“Fine. Then have your guards fetch us when you are ready.” Loki grabbed Alexis’s hand and stormed out of the throne room.

He pulled her along, only to be stopped by Frigga.

“Did you know, Mother?”

Frigga folded her hands in front of her. “Only after the deed was done. And I never suspected that Alexis was Sjofn until Odin entered the healing room.”

“Well, I guess that is a minor comfort.” Loki pushed past her, dragging Alexis with him.

“Where are we going, Loki?” Alexis questioned, digging in her heels. Loki stuttered to a stop.

“To my chambers, to await Odin and Freyr’s word.” His brows furrowed.

She tugged her hand free. “I just found out my entire life is a lie. I need some time and space to process.”

Loki stepped towards her. “You’re not doubting us, are you? Odin and Freyr—”

“—will catch hell for the havoc they wrecked.” Frigga stepped. “Perhaps I can take young Alexis back to my chambers until the Allfather is ready for her.”

Loki didn’t want that. He wanted to comfort her himself. He wanted her. But one look into Alexis’s eyes and he knew having her go with Frigga was the best idea of the day.

“Thank you, Mother.”

“You are welcome, my son.” Frigga linked arms with Alexis and turned to head towards a different corridor. “Now, Alexis, is it? I imagine you are starving.” Alexis nodded. “Well, I will have some food brought up and you can tell all about how my son has been treating you on Midgard.”

Loki regretted agreeing to allow his mother to care for Alexis, but they already had disappeared down the hall towards Frigga’s chambers. He could hear the sounds of laughter echoing off the large pillars. He turned to head to his own chambers for rest and sustenance, only to run directly into the chest of his brother.

“Thor…” Loki grumbled as he stumbled backwards from the impact.

“Apologies.” Thor reached out to steady Loki. “Care for some company?”

“If it is all the same with you, I prefer solitude at this time.” Loki sidestepped Thor and continued on his way.

“What Odin did was wrong.” Thor called out. “To you and Alexis. I am sorry.”

Loki glanced back over his shoulder at Thor. “Thank you.” And then he continued on his way.

-

When no one came to get him after several hours, Loki took to pacing again, jumping at every sound. He was about ready to jump out of his skin when a guard popped his head in.

“They are ready for you in the throne room.”

Loki nodded, and the guard walked away. He took a few moments to collect himself and straighten his clothes.

“It’s Alexis, Loki. Pull yourself together.” he muttered to himself before heading out the door.

He got about halfway there when something or someone pushed him behind a pillar.

“I heard you were back, but I had to see for myself.” A familiar voice growled as small hands undid the buttons of his shirt, exposing his chest.

“What are you doing?” He tugged his shirt closed. “Who are…” His voice trailed off as he registered the fair hair. “Sigrun.”

Sigrun giggled. “Of course, it is me, silly. I always knew you would come back for me.” She pushed him back against the corridor. She kissed his lips, catching Loki off guard. “I knew you loved me.”

Sigrun’s fingers tangled in Loki’s hair and her lips crashed against his with passion. Loki struggled to push Sigrun off of him.

“I love—” Loki explained when he was cut off.

“Once a snake, always a snake.” Alexis cried, not even bothering to wipe the tears away. “I should have known.”

“ALEXIS!” Loki ran after her, catching her fingertips only to have them slip away. “I can explain.”

She didn’t stop walking or bother to turn around to acknowledge Loki. “There’s no need. You made it clear you didn’t want any emotional entanglements, and now I can see why. She seems just like your type, blond, big boobs, and no brains.” Her words shot straight to Loki’s heart.

“Things have changed, I… I…” Loki sputtered to get out the words.

Alexis stopped, her fists clenched at her sides. “You are right about that, because now I have my memories back. And I have the power to make sure you never find me and hurt me or this child ever again!”

Loki took a step towards her and Alexis spun around and flung an energy dagger at Loki, who just managed to avoid it.

“You don’t mean that. Come with me, I can explain.”

“Stay away from me, Loki. I never want to see you again!” And with that she flashed away in a column of blue light.

Loki stood in shock, staring at the spot where Alexis, Sjofn, whoever once stood.

“She is pregnant with your child?” Sigrun asked from behind the column where she had been cowering through the entire exchange between Loki and Alexis.

“Yes.” Loki’s head dropped.

“And she is the reason you have returned?” Sigrun continued.

“Yes.” Loki’s tone grew more and more terse, growing weary of Sigrun’s questions.

“And you love her?”

Loki exhaled. “Yes.”

Sigrun’s hands fiddled in front of her. “Are you terribly cross at me?”

Loki’s eyes flashed as he stalked towards her. He got right in front of her face. “Yes.”

[ally-writes-many-things]

Who you are. (Hamish Duke) Part 1

Summary: You were an Adepti for The Order but you were also a spy for Gnostic council. The council called you back to Belgrace to spy on Vera after the recent werewolf attacks which is when you find out something about one of your old best friends.

Words: 2117

Requested: Yes

Prompts:

Warning or A/N:

You were sitting in your house enjoying your company when you heard your phone go off. You looked at over at your phone and saw that it was Vera Stone. You rolled your eyes and sighed. She has become a pain in your side ever since the Grand Magus rolled into town for the initiation and decided to stay in town for a while. You let your company keep doing their thing while you answered your phone. "Yes, Vera?"

       "I need you to come down here. The Grand Magus is up to something and I'm worried that it's going to affect The Order n a way that isn't good,," She said while rustling around.

     She's constantly calling you worried about Edward and you just let it play out and let her vent it out but it's getting old at this point. "Vera, I'm sure he isn't doing that-"

She didn't let you finish. "Would you just come down here?"

    "Would it make you stop calling me every five seconds?"

    "Yes,"

    "Fine, I'll be there soon,"

    You told your company to leave while you got dressed to go down to the temple. You didn't live in the Belgrave area but you did live close enough for that temple to be your temple. You never really go there unless you were needed like now. You weren't really apart from the Gnostic council, but they have recruited you to be a spy for them and to report back to them if anything was out of the ordinary. You opened your front door with a flick of your hand and walked out to your car.

--

     You walked into the temple and you saw Alyssa talking to the Grand Magus in hush tone. You cleared your throat and it made Alyssa jump but not the Grand Magus. "Y/N. Nice to see you again,"

    Your heels clicking on the floor every time you stepped closer to the Grand Magus. "You too, Grand Magus. I hear you sticking around in town for a while,"

    He smiled at you. He was one cunning son of a bitch but could he really be doing something that could hurt The Order? "Got some business to attend to here that's gonna keep me here for a while,"

    "And what would that be?"

    "If all goes well, I'll tell everyone soon. Alyssa, that is all for today. We'll pick it up tomorrow,"

    Alyssa nodded. "Yes, Grand Magus. Whatever you say, Grand Magus,"

    Alyssa was such a kiss ass last year and still is one today. I was 3 years ahead of Alyssa in The Order, but she was always trying to kiss ass and was always so insecure about herself. "Same ol' Alyssa, huh?"

    Alyssa turned and looked at you after she watched the Grand Magus leave. "I don't know what you mean?"

    "Always a kiss ass,"

    "Same ol' Y/N, always a bitch,"

    "A bitch that got a promotion,"

    "Alyssa, I need to talk to you!"

    You turned around and saw a brown hair guy jog up to Alyssa, look frantic. Something was off about this guy like he had a certain smell about him that you couldn't place. "You smell weird,"

    The boy looked at you funny, so did Alyssa. "He smells normal?"

    "Who are you?"

    "Y/N Y/L/N. Adepti, you?"

    "Jack Morton. Acolyte,"

    "I figured as much. Alyssa, do you know where Vera is?"

     At that moment, Vera walked in. "I'm right here, let go to my office,"

    You fake smiled Vera. "After you,"

    She flicked opened the door and you walked in after her and sat in one of her chairs lazily as she flicked the doors shut. "So Magus, I hear you have a Werewolf problem on your hand?,"

    "It's being taken care of,"

    "Oh? Well good. So what did you want me to see and why did you call me in?" 

    "I know you're a spy for the council,"

    You chuckled. "Yep. Totally am. Come on, Vera. I'm in the field almost twenty-four seven. I don't have time to spy on people,"

    Vera just gave me the 'don't lie to me' look. "Magus, I'm not. Even if I'm not what does that have to deal with anything?"

    "I was gonna have you spy on Edward,"

     You let out a short chuckle and sit in the chair right and looked at her. "You're crazy, right? Spying on the Grand Magus? That would cause me to get Pulveris memoria if I got caught or killed. Why don't you take your concern to the council?"

    Vera put her hands together and places her head on them. "They wouldn't believe me unless I got proof,"

    "Then find it yourself. I'm not gonna have you get my mind erased because YOU wanted to spy on the Grand Magus,"

    You got out of her chair and started to walk out but you stopped and looked at her. "This Jack Morton kid. What do you know about him?"

    "Parent less. Lives with his grandpa. Great athlete. Great student. Why?"

    "Remember beginning of last year when that potion messed up and it resulted me in getting a superior sense of smell?"

    "Yes, what about it?"

   "Morton has a certain smell towards him that I've smelled before but I can't seem to place,"

   "Okay and what about it?"

   You just shrugged. "Just something I thought I'd share,"

   You walked to the Blade and Chalice and sighed Vera really wanted you to get into trouble by spying on the Grand Magus for her own worries. Nope. Sorry Vera. But not happening. You opened the door and you were hit with the same smell that you smelt on Jack. You followed your the smell and found a blond hair guy, drinking. That's when it hit you. The reason you smelled it before was because you smelled it on him. The closer you got to him, all the memories started coming back to you. All the late night studying, the parties, the drinking, the hangovers, going out and celebrating every good grade you got on a test. Not only the memories came back but the feelings came back as well. You were almost about to walk way but something made you walk forward. "Hamish?"

     Hamish turned his head around, and he looked at you for a minute like he didn't recognize you but when he did, his jaw dropped as he looked you up and down. He met your eyes with his eyes and you could see the same thing that happened to you with all the memories was happening to him. "Y/N?"

    You slowly finished walking up to them. "Yeah, hi,"

    He stands up and goes over to hug you but hesitated. "It's been a while, what are you doing back?"

    You smiled at him and walked up to him and hugged him first. "Uh Vera called me in for a meeting,"

    He hugged you back. "Oh, what about?"

    You shook your head. "Nothing to worry about,"

     You let him go and sat at the table in front of where Hamish was sitting. "Tell me what's new with you?"

    He shrugged. "I'm a T. A and it's totally exciting! I mean just last week I had a freshman tell me that he did the homework, but he got drunk and threw up all over it,"

    You chuckled. "Freshman year in college, where the reality of life hasn't hit you yet,"

    He chuckled and then smiled at you. You and Hamish went to Belgrave together but your paths went into two different directions when you got accepted into The Order. You started to hang out with other people and him with others but you finally reconnected your senior year and you spent every chance you got with them but when you graduated, the council had promoted you to Adepti because you show great promise, and they needed more field agents and you accepted. You lost contact with Hamish after a while because you were traveling across the world and didn't have time to talk to him which hurt but soon the hurt stopped hurting. "But it's not as exciting as being a world traveler. How long have you been back in the States?"

     "Hmm like a month or two,"

     You had been out of the states for a good two years but you were summoned back to the states earlier this year because the council wasn't to happy with Vera and wanted me to spy on her after recent werewolves attacks. You were actually going to stop by her office, but she had called you first. "Why didn't you reach out?"

    "I've been busy,"

     He just smiled sadly. "Oh, I see,"

     "It's not like that. If I wasn't this busy, I totally would've called you,"

Hamish waves his hand. "Don't worry about it, I'm been busy too,"

     "Oh yeah? With what?"

     Hamish was about to answer when he was interrupted. "Ham-ster!"

     You turned your head and saw three people walking up to you and Hamish. Jack was one of them but the other two you hadn't seen before. As they got closer, you were hit with the same smell as Hamish and Jack. But you just ignored it because they may just be roommates or something. You looked back at Hamish and smirked. "Ham-ster?"

    He looked at you and jokingly told you to shut up and then looked at the black hair dude. "Absolutely not,"

    The girl looks at you and had a growl in her voice. "Who are you?"

     You didn't get a chance to answer before Hamish did. "This is Y/N L/N, we've known each other since our senior year in high school, we kinda lost tracked after she graduated and became Miss. World Traveler,"

    You looked over at Hamish and chuckled. "Is Hammie jealous?"

    Hamish gives you a smirk back. "Nope,"

     You two just stared at each other for few without saying something. You could see Randall just looking back and forth between you both out of the corner of your eye. "What's happening here? Are they mind fucking?"

     That broke Hamish's stare from you and he looked up at Randall and threw a napkin at him. "Fuck off, Randall,"

     Randall smiled at you and made you scoot over, and he sat next to you and the particular smell was so bad that it made you gag a little. "Do you guys all live together?"

     "Yeah, well besides Jack,"

     You turned and looked at Jack and smiled at him, "Nice to see you again Jack,"

      Jack just looked at you and didn't say anything. "Wait, you know each other?"

      You turned and looked back at Randall. "Not really. I know Alyssa and while I was talking to her, he had come up,"

     "Yeah, and she mentioned that I smelled weird,"

     You rolled your eyes at that comment but when you focus back onto Hamish, you saw that his eye were huge before quickly hiding that face. You thought that it was odd but you made a mental note about it.

     Lilith made Hamish scoot over and sat next to him and then Jack pulled up a chair from another table to your table. Randall put his arm around you. "So tell us some stories about Ham sandwich,"

     Hamish rolled his eyes and looked annoyed with Randall. "You're not calling me that,"

    You smirked at Hamish, and he knew exactly what you were about to say. "You want some stories about Mishy the fishy?"

     He just gave you an amused smile. "You wouldn't,"

    You made an o with your mouth. "Wouldn't I?"

    Randall looked at you and Hamish. "She can call you puny nicknames but I can't?"

    Hamish looked over at Randall and was about to say something but Hamish cringed in pain and you looked around and saw the other three doing the same thing. "Are you guys okay?"

It only lasted like a couple of seconds though. Hamish nodded his head. "Oh yeah, we are fine,"

You looked at them, confused. "Are you sure? You all four cringed in pain. Is there something that's going on here?"

     Hamish gives you a shy smile. "Of course not. We just got drunk last time and hangovers suck,"

     Before you could even say anything else, you felt your phone go off. You pulled it out of your pocket and it was Vera telling you to get to the temple. You looked up at Jack, and he looked up from his phone at you. "I've got to go. Nice to met you three. Hamish, text me later, and we'll catch some more,"

     Hamish took a sip of his drink and pointed at you. "You got it,"

[isitgintimeyet]

Letting Go

AO3

Previous

So it’s Sunday morning here and that means another chapter.  Thanks for reading x

thanks to @mo-nighean-rouge for the beta and @happytoobservenolongerdistant

Chapter 7: Crush

It's just a little crush (crush) Not like I faint every time we touch It's just some little thing (crush) Not like everything I do depends on you

Andy Goldmark/ Mark Mueller/  Berny Cosgrove/ Kevin Clark 

Even before she opened her eyes, Claire sensed the body lying next to her. Hazy recollections of the night before came back to her… Jamie's coolness, meeting Frank, the overheard conversation and the final realisation that eight years may have disguised her emotions but time had done nothing to erase them.

And then, thankfully she remembered as she turned over to greet the bed's other occupant, Joe had found her, weeping in her flat. Tenderly he had held her as she cried and then supervised her bedtime routine, making sure she cleaned her teeth and removed her makeup before grabbing a blanket from the spare bedroom and lying next to her on top of the covers, listening to her confessions before, exhausted, she fell asleep.

Opening her very sore eyes, she saw Joe, apparently still asleep, breathing softly, next to her. Claire started to get up, but Joe caught her arm, keeping her on the bed.

“How are you this morning?”

“Not too bad. My eyes are sore and I desperately need a shower and a mug of coffee, but no hangover… yet”

“Claire, you know what I mean. All that you said last night. How do you feel emotionally?”

“Much better, yes. Think last night was cathartic.”

Joe looked at Claire and scowled. “The truth, Claire. Don’t be hiding it away. It’s taken you eight years to get this far.”

Claire sighed. “Ok, Joe. Truth… truth is, I think I held myself back from relationships, from letting go, because I thought… hoped… dreamed that he’d come back. He’d come home and find me. And now he has, he's come home and made it perfectly clear it’s not for me. Living here, I’ll have to see him sometimes, but I’m not going to live in a dream world. I’ll get past this. Honest.”

Joe raised her hand to his lips. “I know you will. And I’m here for you. Now you go and make us two incredibly strong coffees, while I hop in your shower.”

With a dehydration headache looming, brought on, no doubt, by a surfeit of both alcohol and tears, Claire stood at the kitchen sink and drank two large glasses of water while she waited for the kettle to boil.

A knock at the door broke her concentration. She wrapped her bathrobe tightly around her and went to answer it, pausing in front of the hall mirror. It was as bad as expected -- red rimmed eyes, pale cheeks and a mass of tangled curls were reflected back at her and she just knew that she probably smelt as bad as she looked.

*******

Nine years ago

“Oh god, I must look hideous. I’m never at my sunniest first thing in the morning.”

“Sassenach, all I can see is a woman who, weel, lets jes’ say, made a man verra happy last night. A wee bit of mascara’s stuck tae yer cheek and yer curls have a mind of their own but ye look beautiful.”

“I can tell how happy by your grin, Jamie… and that’s not the only part of you that seems happy this morning. Ooh, Jamie… ooh, yes… what are you doing?”

“Lie back, Sassenach, dinna move. Fair’s fair. I’m goin’ tae put a grin on yer face as well.”

*******

Claire peered through the spy hole to see John standing on the doormat. She opened the door and stood back to let him in. Fortunately, he looked as rough as Claire.

“Morn...” John cleared his throat and tried again. “Morning.”

“How are you this morning?”

His voice had a throaty rasp. He coughed and carried on. “I can’t say I’m feeling my best. I’ve been awake since six. Jamie crashed at mine last night and had to leave to go back to work… something to do with a new foal or a mare… well, something horsey, anyway. And he couldn’t find the key to the front door, so we had to spend ages looking for it and… well… here we are. I think you look like I feel, Claire.”

Claire led him into the living room. “It was certainly quite a night. Wonder if I should go and give Anna and Mary a hand cleaning up?”

“I wouldn’t bother. They’ll still be asleep. Besides, Anna has an agreement with a couple of the cleaners from the theatre. They come and sort the flat out, cash in hand. No problem. This is a regular occurrence. Bet the estate agent didn’t tell you that -- happens whenever Mrs. Crook goes off to visit her daughter in Edinburgh.”

John sat next to Claire and continued. “That’s not why I’ve come. I need to ask if you’re ok with something…”

With years of practice, Claire heart automatically leapt a little bit.

“I know you were talking to Frank last night. Frank Randall? Yes?”

The leaping in Claire’s chest stopped. She nodded in agreement.

“He’s asked me for your phone number. I didn’t want to give it to him without asking you first. Is that ok? He seems like a decent chap.”

Time to move on, she thought to herself, have to start somewhere. “Yes, why not?”

*******

Joe waited until John had left before he made an appearance, now smelling delightfully of Claire’s L’Occitane Citrus verbena shower gel.

“I decided not to disturb yours and John’s tête-à-tête. I plan on being introduced to him when I’m feeling less hungover and he’s not looking so rough. What did he want, Claire?”

Claire passed a mug of coffee to Joe and nibbled on a piece of dry toast. “That chap, Frank, I was talking to him last night, asked John for my number. John wanted to check it was ok to give it to him.”

“And what did you say?” Joe took the toast from Claire’s hand and consumed it in two bites.

“I’ll go and make some more toast.” Claire headed into the kitchen with Joe following.

“Well,” Claire continued. “I said he could give him my number. Frank seemed like a nice chap and following on from our discussion last night, I need to start moving on. Maybe this is… what is it… karma… no, not karma… synchronicity. Perhaps it’s synchronicity.”

***************

The coffee shop was, Claire decided as she looked around, an ideal place for a first date. Intimate enough to be able to hold a conversation yet without being forced to share too much personal space. Quiet enough to be able to hear each other clearly yet without a sterile silence around them. Bright enough to be able to see each other’s facial expression yet without losing a cosy ambience.  Good call, Frank, perfect first date.

************

Nine years ago

“I’m sorry, Claire, I didna think it would be sae crowded in here at this time.”

“What did you say? I can’t hear you too well.”

“It’s no’ usually sae busy here. Seems like there’s a couple of stag parties goin’ on.”

“Oops. I didn’t mean to lean against you like that, Jamie. People keep pushing past me.”

“Lean on me all ye want... This first date isna goin’ verra well... I shouldna have brought ye here. I’m sorry.”

“Jamie, will you stop apologising? I think this date is perfect.”

“Me too, Sassenach, me too.”

********

The waitress brought over Claire’s black coffee and Frank’s tea. Claire watched Frank’s hands as he stirred the tea pot: long, elegant fingers delicately held the spoon, the skin smooth and pale. Totally unlike those rough, calloused hands she remembered so well, tanned from all the hours spent working outside. Stop it, Claire forced her mind away from those thoughts and back to listening to the man in front of her.

Frank waited expectantly, obviously having just asked her a question.

“I’m sorry, what was that?” Claire blushed.

“I was just asking what it was like growing up with your uncle. Did you travel around a lot?”

“Oh, yes. Every school holiday it seemed we were heading off somewhere.”

“What sort of places did you visit?”

“Varies. Mainly Turkey, but Bulgaria, Ukraine, Georgia.”

“All around the Black Sea then?”

Claire smiled as the memories of those trips came flooding back. “Yes, sometimes  staying in little B&Bs or tiny hotels but quite a lot of camping, especially when a team went over. I can still see Lamb pouring over his copious notes by the light of a single lamp, while I tried to fry sausages on a one-ring gas burner. It was great fun. How about you? You do much travelling in your research?”

“Just to libraries or archives, I’m afraid. Nothing very exciting.” Frank shrugged.

“But if you’re writing a book, that’s exciting, isn’t it? I mean, my uncle’s never written a book.”

“Well, yes. I suppose it is. I need to have some outline to John next month, then it may happen. Do you want another coffee?” Frank drained his teacup and looked expectantly at Claire. “Or would you like to go for a bite to eat?”

Claire looked at her watch. “I’m sorry, Frank. I can’t. I have to nip home and then I promised I’d visit Uncle Lamb.”

“Oh well, another time? But you don’t live far from here. Let me walk you home.”

Claire nodded. Frank’s hand rested lightly on her back as he guided her out of the coffee shop. They walked side by side along the pavement towards Claire’s flat, Frank’s hand brushing against hers with each stride. A few paces later, and instead of the slight touch, Claire felt Frank’s hand clasp hers, cool and dry against her palm. She let it rest there and tried to force her mind away from any comparisons.

As they approached her flat, the sky darkened with the promise of imminent raindrops. They stood awkwardly at the front door, Frank still holding her hand.

“So, I had a really good time, Claire. I would like to see you again, if you want to.”

Claire smiled, then jumped as a loud crack of thunder was rapidly followed by a sudden downpour. Quickly she fumbled in her bag for her keys, then opened the door. Frank followed her into the foyer.

“So?” He spun her round to face him. “Another date?”

Claire nodded. “Yes, Frank, I’d like that. Text me and we can arrange something.”

They stood still for a moment before Frank took a step towards Claire and lightly kissed her mouth. His lips were soft and cool, his mouth practically level with hers, no need to crane her neck or stand on tiptoe to reach. She waited for a moment in anticipation of those long forgotten feelings… the butterflies, the tingling, then took a step towards the stairs.

“I’d better go. Uncle Lamb will be waiting for me. Thanks for coffee.”

***************

Jamie waited until they had disappeared from view, Claire to her flat and Frank back out into the rain, before he emerged from John’s front door. He hadn’t want to intrude on their moment. Although he had noticed, casually through the spy hole, that Claire hadn’t leant into the kiss... hadn’t seemed inclined to prolong it… hadn’t moved her hands from her sides. Not that it mattered to him, of course. It really wasn’t his business.

******

Nine years ago

“I’m sorry the pub wasna a good idea fer a first date.”

“Jamie, don’t be sorry. It’s far too nice an evening to spend in a crowded bar anyway. What could be better than this, walking in a park, sharing a bag of chips?”

“And Irn-bru… dinna forget the Irn-bru.”

“Well, I must admit, I don’t actually like that stuff. You can have the whole bottle.”

“Come here, Sassenach. Ye’ve got a wee bit of ketchup on the corner of yer mouth. Let me get it off…”

“Ha. I thought you were going to wipe it off with a serviette.”

“Och, no need fer that. Waste of a serviette.”

“Jamie, I think I’ve got something here on the other side… and a bit here… and here… mmm…”

“Ye must be an awfa messy eater, Sassenach. So many kisses needed.”

“Sorry, is that too many for you to handle?”

“I dinna think it will ever be too many fer me, Sassenach.”

[contrivedcoincidences6]

The Invisible Cord- Ch. 1

The title was taken from this poem: The Cord

Prologue

Thank you to @alittlemissfit for always being my amazing beta. 

So wow people went crazy for the first taste! Be aware that was the prologue. Just getting started. Thank you for the encouragement! 

Chapter 1 

October 2011 Chicago, IL

I look out the window and watch the wind blow through the autumn leaves. The swirling colors are able to hold my attention far better than the droning on of my biology teacher giving her lecture.

“Ms. Meeks? Ms. Meeks!” The teacher’s irritable voice reaches my subconscious along with a series of muffled snickers.

“Yes ma’am?” I ask.

“You seem to be distracted. Would some extra homework tonight help you concentrate?” she asks, hands on her hips.

“I’m not distracted, ma’am. I’ve been listening.”

“Well then, what are ribosomes?” she asked, her lips pursed.

My mind moves back in time to moments before and as I picture the leaves in the trees I can hear Mrs. Jefferson’s voice telling me the answer.

“They help produce the polypeptides that make up the majority of a cell's structure and are required for activities that are necessary for the cell's survival,” I repeat, using her exact wording just to be a brat.

“Alright then, what about endoplasmic reticulum?” she asks with a sigh.

For this I have to think back to a few minutes earlier. I remember how the light had shone off of Mr. Randall’s car and it comes back.

“The endoplasmic reticulum is a network of membrane-covered channels that transport the materials made in the cells, and are connected to the nucleus,” I say, again using her exact wording.

“Well, you certainly have done your reading,” Mrs. Jefferson says, giving me a subtle nod of approval. She’s seems to want to continue her little quiz when the bell rings. The students start to get up and as I gather my things I hear her voice through the crowd.

“April Meeks. I would like to speak with you before you leave.”

I walk up to her desk, making just enough eye contact to make her uncomfortable.

“What was that performance just now?” she asks, incredulous.

“I was listening to you, Mrs. Jefferson,” I say with a small shrug.

“You were not paying attention to the discussion or even taking notes.”

Fighting the urge to roll my eyes I tap my head.  “Eidetic memory,” I answer with a straight face. Try not to react as her mouth twists into an ugly pout.

“May I leave now?” I ask as she simply nods, gestures towards the door.

Brian and May, not surprisingly were standing outside of it waiting for me. We walk to class together most every day. I know we’re known as the Three Musketeers. It used to bother me but now I’ve come to embrace it. May’s long black braids sway around her head as she walks next to me, waits for me to say something. Brian, as usual, stays silent on my other side. Anticipating the coming argument.

He and May are my only two friends in the world. We grew up in the same foster center together and May and I quickly bonded because of our names. She introduced me to her twin brother Brian, and the three of us have been inseparable ever since.

“That was stupid, April.” May says in her lecturing voice. “Why would you draw attention to yourself like that?”

I gave her what had to be my fiftieth shrug of the day.

“I’m just sick of sitting in a mid level bio class pretending like I’m actually learning something.”

“So do you not want to stick to our plan then?” she asks, stopping so that Brian and I are forced to stop and turn around.

“I never said that,” I mutter, letting out a soft sigh. “I just, why does it have to be so boring?”

“You don’t think that we’re bored?” May scoffs, gesturing between her and her brother.

“But you know if we are all pulled out of the class people will start to notice we’re different. They’ll notice and then they’ll take you again.”

I look down at my feet, clad in Converse shoes that have seen better days.

Brian’s hand grazes my arm and I look at the contrast between his dark, tanned skin and my own ghost like shade of pale. I use his touch as a way to center myself, then look back to his sister who is now tapping her foot.

“May, just for the record one more time, you are not my mother! I know all of this. And I don’t want to get taken! I didn’t get much sleep last night. I’m tired, and soon enough another birthday of mine is going to come around and I’ll have nothing new to show for it!’

Brian’s fingers move down my arm, take hold of my hand and then he gives it a small squeeze. He’s different from his sister and I who both love to talk. He’s quiet, has always only spoken when he’s had to, which is rare when he’s with us. Mostly he communicates with everyone through touch and proximity. A way that most normal people would never be able to fully understand.

I’ve always known there was something different about Brian. Whenever one of our caretakers would come to work sad or down, Brian would sense it. He’d go over and stay with her for the rest of their shift. They’d only spend a few minutes in his presence and start smiling. Not from anything in particular that he’d said, just because he was there.

His sister and I were different too, but Brian’s ‘special gift’ seemed to unsettle others. Meanwhile May and I would come off as your average, annoying, self absorbed teenage girl.

At my admission and birthday remark, May just loops her arm through mine. Starts to walk again.

In two days it will be my 16th birthday. I know for most everyone else in my class this is a date of significance. Sweet Sixteen invitations have been plastered all over lockers and that everyone’s excited to get their learner’s permit. Even get their own car.

To me it just meant another year. One filled with even more questions and fear than the previous one. It just so happens Brian and May’s birthday falls exactly one month before mine. At least my best friends both understand the uneasiness I’m feeling.

The three of us are alike in a lot of ways. The main way being we don’t remember our lives before the age of five. It’s not that our minds were erased and we have no concept, but what we do remember follows no distinct narrative. The memories don’t seem to fit in anywhere. Then again neither do the three of us.

I used to and still have flashes to my mother singing to me as she makes me my lunch. I can think back to being in the car with my father on a road trip. I can remember all my visits to all the doctors. Those memories are the strongest ones, and that makes sense considering I spent most of my early childhood in the hospital. Brian and May have parallel experiences.

I know other kids in school must know this. We’re the anomalies, the freaks, the ones who will probably grow up to be in therapy, and somehow the student population can sense this. When they do have the nerve to point and stare though they’re met with a withering stare from May. Yes, we’re unpopular freaks but we’re not about to roll over and drool when you remind us of it.

“I just don’t want you to take risks like that. The three of us need to stick together. I mean, really. Just two more years and we are out of this hellhole. That’s what you should think of on your birthday. Just two years until freedom.”

Her arm tightens around mine and I smile, know that she really believes it. And that’s a bit of a feat for me.

We watch them walk out of the school and try to interpret their behavior, this...display. Two of them have linked arms and upturned lips, and it makes us curious. Makes us wonder. Even though technically none of us are programmed to do that. We don’t think in depth. We don’t experience emotion. I guess one could consider us robots. One perk though of our clinical detachment is our reliance on our instincts. They’re essential to who we are and have helped to keep us safe. To help us survive.

One of our key instincts is fairly basic. To protect our mothers. We’ve had so many of them and while we failed most of them years ago, when we were still too young and unskilled to prevent them from being harmed, we know some of them still live. Some, against all odds, have managed to survive and weather all the illness and all the death that’s been thrown at them, and we believe with everything in us, that we still have an obligation to them.

We know there are few of us now. According to all the official documents we’ve managed to access we are considered to be extinct. The truth is though that we still exist. We still create. We still have roles. We just need to embrace them quietly. Slowly. The way we’ve been trained to.

Looking to our sister she nods. We move forward, to follow the group of three. These three are real humans. They are to be protected. Unlike us. We’re secondary. Just biological material stolen from the humans, grown in the bellies of women who didn’t ask for us. Although we are all that remains of the original batch, the ones not created in test tubes, we all still consider our mothers to be our mothers. In every important sense of the word. It’s only because of their ova that we came into existence. While these three could be considered related to us in a sense they may as well be of a different species. However, these children are important to our mothers. Therefore they are important to us. In two days time we will make contact.

“All I’m saying is the only reason he’s interested in me at all is because of the list.” May says, playing with my hair while I try to do my homework.

“What list?” I ask, half paying attention.

“You haven’t heard about the list the football players have?” she asks, looking at me as if I’m missing a crucial piece of information.

I shake my head and she moves from lying on her stomach behind me to scoot up next to me. The expression on her face tells me that whatever ‘the list’ is, is easily the most important thing going on in the school. No wonder I’m clueless.

“It’s basically a fuck-it list. It’s like a bucket list, but it’s just a list of girls they want to fuck. I know Andrew is only sniffing around me so he can check off the ‘black girl’ box.”

“At the game the other day you said you wanted to eat bacon off his ass, so I really don’t get why you care,” I scoff, peering up at her through my glasses.

“It’s the principle of it!” May exclaims as I roll my eyes, put down my textbook.

“But you are only interested in him for his ass. He’s only interested in you because of a list. Both of you have motives aside from actual interest in the other person. That being said, are you really telling me you won’t have sex with him?”

“I never said that. I’m just saying that I don’t appreciate his motives. Jennie was his token ‘Asian girl’. Have you heard of anything more crass than that? Still, she said he was a tiger in the sac.  Hey!” She exclaimed giving my arm a soft swat, “You could probably get on his radar! Maybe he hasn’t checked the ‘redhead’ box yet.”

“No thanks. I’m good,” I say, shaking my head.

“You know, you’ll need to start dating at some point. People talk. Especially about the cute ones.”

“Aw, you think I’m cute?” I tease, earning an eyeroll. “I’m not interested in dating, May. I mean, really, what’s the point?”

“Well aside from it being nice to have someone actually show an interest in you, sex. Duh.”

“Too much effort for something I can just take care of myself.”

May just shakes her head at me, flops back onto her own bed.

“You know if you’re into girls that’s great. I can get you the numbers of some I’ve been with.”

“Just some?”

“There’s only a few who would be worthy of you, my dear,” she teases as I let out a long sigh.

“It’s not that I’m not interested or attracted to guys. I just have no interest in dating. There are way more important things for me to worry about right now.”

“You keep on with that attitude and I’ll tell you what’s going to happen: you’re going to be celibate for years. Until you and my brother finally stop beating around the bush and get together. But by that time I’ll be too old a woman to be able to enjoy it.”

Choosing to ignore her comment I find the last answer to the worksheet, hand it over to May to copy. “Thanks,” she says, crossing back to her desk. Now it’s my turn to lie back on my bed and stare at the ceiling.

“Do you think that our parents are still alive?” I ask after a beat before she takes one to answer.

“I don’t know why you keep thinking about this. Who even knows if we have parents? For all we know we’re test tube babies.”

“But maybe we aren’t. Maybe there’s people out there who are looking for us.”

Jumping a bit when she lies on the bed beside me I let out a sigh, fold my arms.

“I’m not dismissing the possibility that there are. I just don’t want you to get your hopes up. I’m worried you’ll start planning this whole life and then find out there’s just...no way for you to have it.”

“But I feel like I did have it, May. At least once. All the memories I have from before, those have to mean something, don’t they?”

“If they’re real,” May sighs. “Look, they might be. But think about it, if they can erase our memories what makes you think they can’t plant fake ones?”

Just thinking about that makes my head hurt. In the way it does when I’m on the verge of a long cry. Curling on my side I rest my forehead against May’s shoulder, grateful she knows without my saying it that she should stay put.