#((she doesn't know this ofc))
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this just in: danny fenton is just as much of a mask as Brucie Wayne? - another danyal al ghul au
Turns out, being placed in a civilian family who have no knowledge of your background is actually detrimental to the health and development of a child assassin due to lack of proper support! Surrounded by strangers in a foreign city, Danyal Al Ghul does as assassins do best. He hides. Espionage is one of many teachings one learns in the League, and it only takes half a day for Danyal to construct a new persona to hide behind: Daniel Fenton.
By the time dinner rolls around, Danyal al Ghul is safely and securely tucked behind the face of Danny Fenton; brand new adoptive child of the Fenton family who came from overseas. A shy, quiet little boy with a thick accent and curly hair, with brown skin and blue eyes, and an avid interest in the stars. The best fictions are always cobbled together in a little bit of truth, it's some of the only truth he ever lets through. He apologizes in a meek voice for his behavior early, he didn't mean to be rude, and he watches the three of them eat it up with coos.
Lies roll like silk against his lips, he struggles to meet their eyes and offers them his weakest, shyest smile. It's too easy. It's easy to go from there.
Danny Fenton, adoptive son, shy and awkward and unconfident but friendly. Who struggles in his classes and isn't the brightest, but tries his hardest. He makes bad jokes and has a quick tongue and a sarcastic mouth. He wants to be an astronaut. He's got the best aim in school, and is a terrifying dodgeball player. He's one of the least athletic kids in his grade.
It's like playing two truths and a lie, but there's only one truth, and the rest are lies. It's easy to pretend when he knows it's insincere.
Danyal Al Ghul, grandson to the Demon Head. Deadly, trained assassin. Has spilled blood, has had blood spilt from. Environmentalist, animal activist. He loves the stars. He owns a calligraphy set. A sharp tongue, an even sharper blade. He's clever, quick-witted, he would be top of his grade if he tried harder. He purposely doesn't.
He misses his family. He misses his mother, and he misses his brother. Mother visits a few times a year, so few times that he can count it on both hands. He cherishes every visit, as brief as they are. It helps remind him who he is.
Sam and Tucker are Danny's best friends. They've never met Danyal, but Danyal's met them.
It becomes routine to become Danny Fenton. As familiar and as easy as pulling on a shirt in the morning. Danyal wakes up and is always first to the bathroom in the mornings; stares at himself in the mirror until he can finally see Danny staring back at him. At night, he locks his door and sheds the mask.
Dying throws a wrench in his mask; splits a crack straight through the porcelain. He's able to smooth it over with sandpaper and liquid gold, but it's a little hard keeping his ghost form under wraps. It instinctively wants to shift to show his true self. Danyal can't have that, he's spent four years as Danny Fenton, he'll spend another four as him as well. Even if the feeling of the hazmat suit in his ghost form feels restrictive, like a too-small shirt suctioned to his skin that needs to be peeled off.
He'll live. Er-- well, you know what he means. It's frustrating however, trying to keep his Danny Fenton mask up even as Phantom - fighting in the air is something he needs to get used to, and the sudden propping of powers throws him off. But he is nothing if not adaptive, and he hates that he needs to slow his own skills down in order to keep pretenses up in front of Sam and Tucker.
The first time Danyal summons a sword when he's alone, is one of the few times Danyal gets to grin instead of Danny. He's fighting Skulker, and from an invisible hilt he draws a katana from thin air. It startles them both. Skulker takes a step back at the smile that spreads across his face.
They're both silent as Danyal examines his new sword.
"Do you know what people like me do to people like you, poacher?" Danyal finally asks him, the accent he began to hide a few months in slipping through. He drops all pretense, dragging the flat end of the blade slow and appreciatively against his palm. It's a good make, and when he cuts it through the air, it slices through like butter. He looks up at Skulker with a smile; "are you ready to find out?"
When Sam and Tucker ask about why Skulker seems so skittish around Danny now, Danny shrugs at them and says with a playful smile; "I don't know, I guess I kicked his butt too hard after our last fight." and he watches as Sam rolls her eyes exasperatedly, and Tucker snickers with his own joke.
By the time he reunites with Damian before their 15th birthday, Danyal is buried beneath so many layers of Danny Fenton that his brother will need a shovel to dig him out. He's not sure what he'll find.
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc crossover#danyal al ghul au#danyal al ghul#dpxdc prompt#dpxdc au#dc x dp crossover#dp crossover#demon twins au#so turns out putting an assassin child in a normal family does not actually fix the child. it may just make them worse. had this thought#today and had to extrapolate. i have a whole ass post in my drafts explaining my idea for this lmao. my thought was basically:#'damian would be the better off twin because he'd have actual proper support compared to danny bc the bats know damian's background and +#+ as a result can actually address the league's teachings properly and help him dismantle the lessons that have been ingrained in him +#+ as compared to danny who would be with a random family - regardless of affiliation - who would only be able to help with surface level +#stuff if danny even ever lets them see that. danny would need to dismantle his own mindset on his own if he even thinks he has to.'#jazz is not a reliable or licensed therapist. that is a child. she's not even implied to be a good one. psychoanalyzing people doesn't make#you a good therapist. it just means you can psychoanalzye people. and therapy only works on those who think they need it. danny would not#think he'd need it and any attempts from jazz to psychoanalyze him would just result in him shutting her out and doubling down on his belie#tldr: starry made another au exploring the psychological effects of growing up in the league and he calls it:#'whose the more adjusted twin? Damian or Danny? Lmao Damian ofc. Danny got screwed over'#rip to damian you have your work cut out for you trying to peel back all of your brother's protective layers. that's an iceberg waiting to#be explored. o7 to you champ your brother got the short end of the stick. danny has so many things to unlearn that i didn't go into here#its an actual demon twins au too! would ya look at that.
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So, about that one AU that's been marinating in my mind for years
#'second canvas will be just simple sketches' *half cleans sketches* *adds base color* *adds shading* *adds bg* WHY AM I LIKE THIS 😭#anyway- you know how the flower that gave Rapunzel her powers (and also the Kingdom) is associated with the sun?#well. here it's the opposite bc Deeva is moon coded! :]#Gotta love the fact that her wings emphasize the bird in a cage symbolism....#Ofc she doesn't have much experience flying in this AU since Mother Gothel forbid her from going outside#Talking about Mother Gothel... it's Azul HGSAHD#at first I thought maybe Vil or Crewel? but since the character later kinda makes a deal w the twin thieves it fitted him more(?)#Also yes. Cater's alias is Cameron Mägi bc... Mägi Cameron..... Magicam.... 💀💀#it doesn't sound as cool as Flynn Rider but honestly I didn't know what to call him LMAO#I'll be back w this AU someday! I still haven't drawn the iconic lantern scene!!!!#twisted wonderland#twst#twisted wonderland oc#twst oc#twst cater#deeva twst#cateeva#my art
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Got notes again on my post abt how Falin's Girl Autism is romanticized to the point where people who don't really know or understand her are trying to propose vs Laios's Boy Autism being seen as an active threat even though the Toudens are literally so fucking alike and like. Yeah. Gdhdh I have nothing to add I was fucking right and I like that Ryoko Kui created such loving and similar siblings so that she could comment on how their autism and hyperfixations are so clearly filtered through a lens of how people see them due to their gender as well
#tomi talks#dungeon meshi#I'm sorry but i deeply don't understand ppl who actually ship Shuro and Falin like#Shuro does not really know Falin and if he can't accept all of her quirks in her brother i don't trust him to truly accept her#he glosses over the ways in which she's similar to Laios because he is romanticizing a woman he doesn't truly understand ://#like it's so filtered thru sexism too lol#like ofc Falin's interest in bugs or living things is 'nurturing' and kind 🙄🙄🙄#like it's especially wild cuz Falin is basically unquestionably more cut throat than Laios imo lmao
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So I've had this wip sitting in my folders for months now and decided to ressurect it to satiate the urge to draw these two again
#I actually finished a wip after abandoning it for so long alright iconic moment for me personally#this is them in the cab coming back from the warrens after getting their asses handed to them by all the szlachta#she handled herself a lil better but vincent is squishy and almost died like. 10 times#vtm#vtmb#the fledgling#brujah#oc.vince#oc.pepper#ship: viper#sleepyscribble#she looks a lil sad bc yk she nearly lost the dude and she starts realizing she liiikes hiiiiiim teehee#she legit doesn't know what she would do if she rlly lost him#but she doesn't think she's in love ofc ofc it's just that yk he's the only person she really feels like she can trust#and the only one she feels really good around and who she feels she could tell anything to#and tbh she hasn't felt this way with anyone else in a long long time even before she became undead and had to deal w the other kindred#but that's normal for a friendship yk this is just a really strong friendship why ruin it with romance right that's stupid#no she wasn't watching him take his shirt off with her eyes almost popping out of her skull the other day shhh that didn't happen#she doesn't even remember he has freckles on his back and a scar on his shoulder. the left one. she doesn't remember she wasn't even lookin#ANYWAY no lust no feelings she's fine don't worry abt it 👍🏻#viper art
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the loneliness and sadness that creeps into you in a way that only growing up queer can cause. your parents can accept you and still make you feel like an outsider. your parents can love you and still reject parts of you. that old-fashioned kind of love where they think trying to mold you, make you tough, is better for you. or that quiet status quo where you just don't talk. and where everyone is accepted, though some are more than others. generations and generations it's just been easier to let it slide. to let it be. not cause a fuss. but then we sit there with a knot in our chests all our lives wondering how it got there
#this is about#all of us strangers#ofc your experience of a piece of media is molded by your own perspective#and i have been thinking a lot about growing up queer and how it still fucking sucked#for me. ten. twenty years ago. fuck it even five years ago#it still sometimes sucks#because i was raised without any queer representation around me#i was trained to be straight and to desire straightness#and anything remotely queer was mocked and bullied and judged#i saw it done by others and done to others so much that it's hardly surprising i did everything i could to Not be that#and the fact that i had to grow up that way#and that i still wouldn't feel at ease bringing a partner to a family event#makes my heart ache so much#i am often on my own and going home doesn't bring me comfort#it's like harry describes#it's just how it went#my parents didn't mean to make it like that#my mom even thinks it's sad#but she doesn't understand how it came to be#and i don't know if i can turn it around#adam's imaginings of how his parents envelop him with love and acceptance in the end#was a dream#but a painful one#a dream where your parents suddenly say all the right things#and for him they only did so bc they're dead and he could imagine whatever he wanted#/and still/ he imagined his mom rejecting his sexuality at first#literally so disgusted she can't drink her tea#oooooofofffffff.......#i need to think some more#my posts
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glad to know Namtan is for the girls too. [source]
#saw her “out and proud” tweet#and there were comments saying she doesn't know what she's talking about#and that it's for clout#cause ofc no thai artists know english /s#namtan tipnaree#naomivents
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How I'll be boogying to the Wisdom Saga if Penelope is not in it:
#JAY PROVE ME WRONG PLEASE#I MEAN PENELOPE IS WISDOM TOO YEAH?! SHE'S ALSO ATHENA'S PET. SHE BETTER BE IN IT#ofc I'll still love it. I just really like Penelope okay?!#This will be the first saga she is actually PHYSICALLY on location!!! Not a memory or a daydream or a siren.#SHE'S IN THE PALACE!!! MAYBE SHE'LL TALK TO TELEMACHUS DURING LEGENDARY OR SOMETHIGN#I DON'T KNOW. I'M DESPERATE#if she doesn't actually get to sing herself until “The Challenge” I'll be really sad. I need more Penelope content. I want my wife#I'm very excited for it though!#Mad rambles#shot by odysseus#epic the musical#epic the wisdom saga#penelope of ithaca#penelope
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Cassandra has middle child privileges for sure!
Bela is the eldest so she has her responsibilities.
Daniela being the youngest is often tasked to do things because she’s the baby and everyone (Bela) gets to order her around
Cass doesn’t get bossed around (she’d fight Bela if she did) and has few responsibilities because she’s not the eldest.
#house dimitrescu#cassandra dimitrescu#resident evil village#daniela dimitrescu#resident evil 8#bela dimitrescu#re8#alcina dimitrescu#headcanon#whats worse cass is the spoiled middle child who LOVES to play victim (when her mom is not around ofc bc with alcina around she's an#absolute angel) which is why she wins so many favors from her mom#but alcina is no fool and she knows just how wild cass is so she doesn't give her much leeway#tho she KNOWS that it's dani and bela conflict that's going on bc cass (when she wants) gets along with both with no problems#but she loves to annoy her sisters so it's hard sometimes#bela doesn't go to cass to boss around she goes to dani#and alcina is like 'listen to ur sister'
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her name is ebony darkness dementia raven way but we call her ligeia
sandworm oc sorta?? theres a second half to this drawing but this looked too cunt to not post it on its own
#shes named after a poe character ofc bc lydia probably named her#she doesn't know that but its okay#shes queen of the sandworms or smth#shes eaten beej before and by god she will do it again#she craves flesh and souls#but she craves her vendetta against mold man most of all#she can smell him a (literal) mile away#BIG BIRD IS FAST BUT LIGEIA IS FASTER.#cat draws#beetlejuice#beetlejuice beetlejuice#beetlejuice fanart#sandworm
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Replaying from the beginning, I don't think I'll ever get over the fact that Astarion actually expected us to not immediately clock that he's a vampire. And I know this has been said before, but it's so hilarious.
He's over there, thinking himself suave and secretive, with such decor as...
A clearly bloody glass cup sitting right in front of his tent, in a puddle of blood, as the very first thing you see
another bloody goblet at his feet, with stains that do not look anything like wine on his white carpet
jars of blood inside his open tent, complete with a very clear bloodstain on the pallet under his bedroll
this clearly labeled bloodbank jar, covered in bloodstains, just on the table right next to him
this veritable dinner table napkin covered in blood, and of course, the pièce de résistance,
the fucking mirror in clear view, angled perfectly so that if he wasn't a vampire, you should be able to see his ass in it in premier plan when approaching from the campfire.
Not only is he very clearly a vampire, but he's also an excessively messy eater, which honestly makes the fact that he is only revealed on the third night a downright humiliating admonishment of the party's collective intelligence.
(Though, armed with the knowledge that he cannot seem to keep blood in his mouth, there is also some real potential here for the first act of physical tenderness he experiences in centuries to be the player character just... absently wiping a drop of their blood off his chin with their hand after a feeding.)
#not the first feeding of course but like the third maybe#i think i'll headcanon that iona did that#just an unconscious action; a very simple and natural expression of care#he jerks back ofc like she slapped him#like he had just lifted off her and they're both still slightly dazed#they're looking at each other for a moment from like... three inches away still; catching their respective breaths#and she just said “here; let me just--” and... did it. without thinking#and it's weirdly intimate and kind of awkward the next day but they both decide to not mention it#baldur's gate 3#squirrel plays bg3#(yes I know Astarion doesn't need to breathe and I've said so before)#(but I still have decided that I like to think “faking” it comes as naturally as... well as breathing should)#(I do think he is prone to temporarily forgetting to breathe in emotionally charged moments though)#oc: iona raedir
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One great thing that can come out of Beetlejuice 3 ending with Lydia and Betelgeuse married, is that they can continue the story as a show if they want to, later on. An animated show, is what I mean, about Betelgeuse, Lydia, and Astrid. I could watch an animated series about their little family getting into all kinds of Neitherworld shenanigans.
#Just a little happy thought 💜#Bonus points if Winona Michael and Jenna voice their own characters#And Catherine as Delia too! She has to be there#That'd be a dream but I know it's unlikely hehe#But that'd be sweet#Betelgeuse Lydia and Astrid#Beetlejuice odd family#aka my favorite thing these days#My ideal ending for Betelgeuse though is for him to be able to pass on to the great beyond#next to Lydia when it's her time ofc#He'll stick around the Netherworld waiting for her#They'll leave together when it's her time#Bittersweet but I just love the idea of them being able to spend eternity together in peace#I feel sad that Beej has just been around as a civil servant for over 600 years unable to pass on#maybe he doesn't want to but I think he does tbh#at the very least he doesn't want to be in the state he currently is at anymore#Beetlejuice x Lydia#Beetlejuice#Beetlebabes#Beetlejuice 3 hopes
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i know this is A Reach and possibly nitpicky but i think the prettification of the hunger games movies can be seen even in the small matter of katniss's hairstyle. what's described as a simple and practical braid in the books is now a fancy diagonal over-the-shoulder dutch braid in the movies (a braid that is neither functional when the purpose is to get your long hair out of the way, nor very quick/easy to do on yourself), and added to that is the fact that katniss has bangs, once again something that is very impractical when you consider that katniss hunts for a living and those loose hairs would not only be visually obstructive but would also get caught in the bowstring and yanked like hell every time she shoots. in the training sequence of catching fire you can literally see that the bangs are in her eyes. there's a reason olympic archers always have their hair tied up and tucked out of the way. if she were to have a dutch/french braid, the point of that would literally BE to get those shorter hairs out of the way. but since this is a hollywood movie of course they have to make their star have pretty hair that frames her face just so
#uhhhh me#it would be suuuuch a cool commentary if she does normally have a simple braid#but any time the capitol wants her on tv they just give her that impractical hairdo#a bastardized prettified version of her braid#which has both cultural and personal significance to katniss#this is the smallest example of the prettification of the hunger games#the biggest one being ofc the fact katniss was Burnt As Hell by the end of the story#(tho thematically i think it would be more impactful if her face hadn't been spared)#(she is messed up and there is no way to hide it. she is no longer a pretty face to lead the rebellion. she is just a very traumatized girl#i haven't gotten to the third movie yet but i Know she left that burning incident with no marks to speak of#she doesn't even have singed hair. she is perfectly fine#like. boo#i know it's taking me forever to watching this trilogy. i just have other things to do
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Soulmate aus are so interesting in an iwtv context. Like for humans it's easy, right? They get their soulmate mark, they find their soulmate, or maybe they don't, and they live their life. For vampires though? Do vampiric soulmates even exist? How could they when the soulmate marks are relics of their human life? When the other person who has the mark will be dead before their life as a vampire has even begun? Or were they always fated to become a vampire? Did the universe take that into account? Will they have to wait some hundreds of years for their soulmate to be born? Their soulmate could be anywhere, any time. Hell, their soulmate could be the person they just drained. Who knows. Even if they were somehow able to find them, what are the chances they'd stay together for eternity? It is eternity after all. Not even the universe or fate can guarantee that.
#but then like uggghhhh thinking about iwtv soulmate au fics and like. they're not soulmates or meant to be but they choose each other anyway#their soulmate could be rotting in the ground or not even in existence yet. maybe they knew them in their human life. or vampire life#but nothing is a guarantee. and isn't it much more profound to choose your own companion anyhow? to love and choose them?#(little do they realize that's what a soulmate is. and even though they might not have the mark it's the same thing. to love and choose)#thinking about louis and armand specifically. like both of them would have Feelings about this i'm sure#louis and lestat are soulmates ofc. ofc there's some string of fate strangling them and they have to figure out what that means#i feel like louis would be resentful of it. like he loves lestat obviously but their relationship is turbulent at best so during the lows#louis 100% resents the universe and god and fate for tying the two of them together#lestat would assume it's all sunshine and roses now that he's found his soulmate and kind of assume it'll automatically work out?#and they'd have to come to terms with the fact that while they are soulmates#their relationship and what it is and how it goes isn't preordained. they still have to figure it out themselves#meanwhile armand and daniel aren't soulmates#god armand doesn't know who his is and he is very like. not melancholy#but he definitely holds that in his chest along with the other things that were taken from him#daniel for sure met his soulmate but like it was nothing compared to armand#and daniel doesn't really buy into the whole romanticization of soulmates anyway#armand kind of does and once they start their relationship he'd definitely have angst about preventing daniel from finding his soulmate#in this universe that could be another reason he tampered with daniel's memories (assuming that's what happened in the amc canon)#to give daniel a chance to live a full human life. to give him the chance to find his soulmate#but then daniel lives a life. he meets his soulmate. and at the end of it all he still chooses armand#and claudia? she just wants someone to choose her. she doesn't care if it's her soulmate or not. she doesn't care about that#maybe she used to romanticize it. having someone guaranteed. but she's seen soulmates hurt each other. both in her human and vampire life#and she knows it doesn't matter what fate or the universe says. people's choices and actions are their own#and so when madeleine chooses her they don't have the marks but claudia thinks maybe this is what a soulmate is after all#interview with the vampire#louis de pointe du lac#armand#claudia#daniel molloy#lestat de lioncourt
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Dean holds Sam and cradles his face from a place of "you're made for me. You're made of me, Sammy; it must be you. It'll never be anyone but you." And Sam goes mad over him to the point he cuts down pieces of himself to fit Dean: because he's the one thing Sam has guaranteed for himself. Dean provides a sanctuary to Sam (who's constantly othered) that's deposited as the sole refuge from perpetual alienation; it's the only home he belongs to, and he'll do anything to preserve it. (Which is why he literally seems and acts reminiscent of an estranged man when Dean is dead & is visibly lost)
When the Devil himself rises, Sam turns his eye away, finding priority in Dean's calling to him, it's the only thing that matters even though he just did the one irredeemable act man could ever do. But in this moment Dean takes the place of the never-present God, and through his unwavering acceptance of Sam it's a lifeline handed to him that enables Sam to preserve, Dean transcends his status as a brother or father and steps in to personify faith: the intangible unquestionable higher spirituality you appeal to to repent and push on. To some people, their guardian is the hanker they base their self around and the load bearing they fall back on; to others, it's their idol/passion, and to many, it's religion. Now imagine having all of these in one person. It's not crazy that Sam is this self-deprecatingly devoted to Dean. His "I have Dean" when he's stripped of every possible thing becomes a necessity that is life threatening. He must have Dean when he's stripped of every possible thing at all costs. And most of the time, he is the fact.
Dean is Sam's lighthouse, a beacon he instinctively returns to. One that needs to be around. Because it always has been around. Every action Sam does, even the erosion of his own identity, is to sustain its withholding in his life.
#S4 sam who's so desperate for redemption in dean's eyes doesn't make the utter depletion he goes through late seasons that far fetched#its wild that save for stanford sam needs to Constantly follow someone's lead even with ruby she was the one mostly calling the shots#and she dubbed what she was doing “watching out for sam” dean's og line..#watch out for sammy had became synonyms with lead sammy and supervise him#it's emotionally handicapping and the tragedy is sam adopts that mindset he consistently needs someone to fill that role#it's the only thing he knows and he'll go back to it the extreme south things turn when he tries to subvert it solidifies it more#ofc i think all of this is sexy but its another round of brainfarts i had in hospital#spn meta#samdean#wincest#sam winchester#dean winchester#mine
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It honestly baffles me that some people are so casually dismissive of animals' feelings. Istg some ppl only see pets like toys and are barely able to hide it
#vent post alert#but I'm just so frustrated#my mom's dog got hit by a car yesterday and she refused to take him to the vet#she said she doesn't have any money for it and that he's fine#physically he seems fine just bruised. I think he might have something internal but she's been very dismissive of that#anyway. he spent the whole night crying bc he was alone and terrified#I went upstairs and almost begged her to take him to the vet but she still refused saying he was fine#then she put him inside her house and he calmed down after a while#the next morning when she came downstairs to talk to me she kept being dismissive#saying he was fine in the end he just wanted attention#and I'm like yeah?? obviously?? he got hit by a car???? the poor thing is traumatized and terrified#ofc he doesn't want to be alone#and she hit me with the 'dogs don't get traumatized. he's just being dramatic'#I pointed out some dogs have psychological pregnancy so ofc they have psychological problems too#and THEN she hit me with 'but those are female dogs. males are different. because hormones' like. WHAT#this just in not only do human males not have feelings but now dog males don't either. because hormones.#I thought my mom was smarter than this tbh#istg her boyfriend is just making her more ignorant. bc this is the kind of bs I expected to hear from him but not from her#anyway I don't know what to do. I don't have money for the vet either bc I just had to pay for a surgery#we talked and she said she'll monitor the dog and if he looks like he's getting worse she'll take him to the vet#ig I'll have to settle for that#I love my mom but man. this is weird#I just didn't expect it from her#what's worse is that when it's just her and me it's one thing. but when her bf is around I feel like she gets different#like with me she agrees but then around him she doesn't?? how am I supposed to trust her that way#it's all just so weird. idk what to think or what to feel rn. I just feel bad#sleep.txt
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ngl it makes me want to die a little bit that it's so often trans people who feel that sex is mutable but oppression is always-forever based on asab in ways that allow them to demand that information from other trans people. like it feels fucking bad. it feels bad when it's people holding up someone who posts a lot of selfies as transition goals to a degree they have to clarify what they have or haven't done or what "direction" they're going in, it feels worse when people are out there like "caster semenya is not tma" or whatever the fuck. i am, as always, not a trans woman, but here's a sentiment echoed by many of the trans women around me who log the fuck off, quoted directly from one: "people who draw a clear line where they say that semenya or khelif are tme and then call me tma are just calling me male at this point".
like i get it. i really do. we seek community and shared experiences, and we feel betrayed when people have less in common with us than we thought they did. [*more on this later.] but that's not those people's faults and my god in the case i'm seeing play out on twitter rn this poor person did absolutely nothing to intentionally mislead people, just posted pictures of their actual kid self. who looks a lot like i did, because shockingly enough "we can always tell" doesn't fucking work for trans people either!
on the one hand i move in intersex circles which are unapologetically welcoming in cis "dyadic" people with pcos, because it serves nobody to draw a clear line where mutilation or genetics or some ineffable childhood suffering are what make somebody intersex, especially when most of us (esp in places like nz) have never been karyotyped and are being treated for symptoms without a pinned-down cause anyway. the more of us there are the stronger we are, the more pressure we can exert on a medical profession which doesn't like to consider how common outliers are, how uneasy sex is at all. and then on the other hand there's dyadic trans people on the internet who've yelled me out of spaces because a couple of traumatised incarcerated trans women i worked with as a prison abolitionist assumed i was also a trans woman and i didn't immediately tell them my entire csa-involved history of being sexed in varying ways as an infant and child and/or exactly how big my phallus was at birth or where in my junk config my urethra lives so they could decide i was tme or whatever.
returning to the * for a related but not identical thought: i think presuming shared experiences leads to some fucked shit in general! "oh we all had a radfem phase" or "oh we all were channers" no we fucking weren't and it's particularly obnoxious when me & mine are trying to build trans community locally to organise and resist the growing wave of far-right backlash against our existence, and there's just white people in there on a spectrum from "straight up being antisemitic and trying to get the n-word pass" through "handwringing about how they need to make space for people who aren't politically correct" to "handwringing about how brown people are right to be mad at them but doing shit fuckall". and then the other fucking brown people in the space are on some identity politics shit where they're like "trans joy inherently excludes those of us who could get deported" or "big city white queers are killing us by being visible instead of going stealth bc it stirs up the discourse" or whatever the fuck i've heard pulled out this year. there's a bunch of reasons i primarily organise outside of trans spaces and that's one of them. i've never felt more alone in spaces where people claim we're all the same than being left as the brownest moderator or organiser in a space full of people to whom "this is a safe trans space" apparently means they get to abdicate all other responsibilities not to lapse into presumed shared patterns that are fucking racist or otherwise alienating. i've never felt more alone than surrounded by exclusively trans people who sort people into boxes and assume everyone in those boxes has the transition goals they have. like i was on cypro until it disagreed with me to the point of endocrine crisis and now i'm on t and at both those points people were so fucking presumptive or entitled to my reasons or journey or personal relationship w my body
literally just submitted on (and was invited to consult on) the nz law commission's review of the human rights act and like. it's straight up fucked how many nz trans people fully do not comprehend that any "sex assigned at birth" type definitions fundamentally exclude migrants who have no way of proving it and many intersex people who happen to have been reassigned later or many times or never assigned at all as a baby. we can't make law with this shit and that's why we have to have symmetrical protections for all genders/sexes/expressions/presentations, bc naming and defining a protected class here often leaves the people who already are left out from those shared experiences of marginalisation out in the cold when they face violence
#reblogs turned off because obviously i'm already bracing to be pilloried for saying one thing not quite correctly or whatever#and also bc i have zero interest in having this be boosted by trans dudes on their own transandrophobia agenda either#i'm just venting#but frankly the first time i got yelled at for saying that as an intersex person some of the immense violence i experienced as a child#was motivated by transmisogyny#i was a teenager and it was someone a fair bit older than me with more local clout so like. it's been a decade. how is it worse now.#intersex spaces have made SO much progress and yet#also yes i'm femme! i'm femme in a trans way! many dykes who aren't women are!#many of us got more comfortable w it as adults who had gender agency!#in literally the same way it took my wife ages after transitioning to work out she's also butch and doesn't actually want to do femme thing#bc that's a shared experience in how we've navigated the expectations of womanhood before opting out of the parts we don't want!#anyway the lawcomm shit was fucked bc honestl i don't give a shit if someone lost their gonads as an adult in an accident#they should be protected even if they don't consider themselves intersex#and we know that gender as an axis of oppression comes back to the reproduction of the nuclear family#and that cis women who can't have kids sometimes become the political football though ofc not as much by far and like#idk. y'all ever heard about solidarity? sometimes i feel like i'm back in the place where the loudest traumatised person at the party#is yelling at another young woman like “you'll never understand what it's like to be a victim”#when said young woman was assaulted the week before.#a politics that starts by defending and defining oneself w oppression kinda fucking sucks actually#and intersex people stopped policing intersexness by who got mutilated a long time ago#bc actually we want the generations ahead to not get that treatment#and when i see “trans elders” going on about how “if you pass and got on hrt before 18 you're not trans like i am” i'm like. why! what!#anyway. tired.#may regret this. we shall see#tony muses
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