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#feeling so silly lawwlll walking in circles#i thnk im feeling a special type of way ..#i know i keep going on ab the samw bs and how crazy gf YEAAH UEAH WE GET IT#but i thnk in doing so im like revisiting parts of myself and writing more and i think im jst being sentimental#sooo sentimental .. so saccharine ..#everyone has been rly nice ab my art LIKE SOOOOO NICE RECENTLY#and imean people always have like im very lucky and grateful 2 be able to feel like i can share my hobby .. ^__^#but i thjnk like . to take smth that is so representational of my like . art goals and wants from a young age#ouuyyyyuuuuuyyfff T__T ooiujjjjjj#I DONT KNWWW i dont know . i dont know what im saying but i feel like i just need 2 talk abd be like hey this is so reaffirming .needs 2#i think like . bc my life turned out soo different than i imagined ive been dealing w like . a lot of hopelessness and feeling soo stuck and#stagnant and idk bad things and in a way i think like . coming back 2 something years later and being able to see progress in such a physica#physical way and to feel like more at ease and more like myself than i ever have is rly crazy and making me think long and hard abt stuff#and its all of these like . reflections im dealing w that r then padded by like some of the nicest comments and tags itslike#head in my hands /pos . grief but like ij a way happy grief#INFEEL SOOO RIDICULOUS its ridiculous it rly is IHAHAHAHAHAHA#i think its bc im turning 25 soon and thats the age i told myself id never live past iykwim which ks like crazy to drop on tmblrdotcom#but there r so many emotions tied 2 that and i think this is just one of the things^ stupid fanart ^ that makes me rly happy idk#do you know what i mean . like i feel so goofy saying it but its genuinely the connection i rly appreciate and means a lot 2 me#i feel like my āthank yous/i appreciate it/ means a lotā grow tired but its soo fr every time i swear#kicking rocks or watever . i wish i cld extend my gratitude but anyways . thanks 4 reading this far if u have#ughg man and i think of the friends ive made thru this blog specifically nd my eyes r burning#sorp.. guys i love u all thank u.
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so uh. that 2.2 Special Program, huh
#hsr#honkai star rail#hsr 2.2#hsr spoilers#hsr leaks#the body of this post reads as far less enthusiastic than i really am#i just donāt know how to casually return from my latest 2 week hiatus only to gush abt a game iāve hardly blogged abt before#but iām not making a whole ass sideblog for it like i did for Genshin. nah yāall r gonna bear witness to my fixation with this one#so anyways donāt mind me. vibrating into another dimension with anticipation for the next 11 days#itās insane man. a year ago i Never ever woulda thought iād be so invested in this game. and it took Months for the game to really grab me#but iām v glad i kept coming back even when i was struggling to really get into it. like i just had this feeling that if i stuck around and#gave the game a chance to really like. come into its stride. i just always felt like there was Something there and i just hadnāt found it#and holy shit i finally found it in Penacony. the devs really truly outdid themselves with this region and these characters and this story#not to discount everything thatās happened prior. like i was genuinely Liking it all before now but i wasnāt Loving it yāknow#but that may be more a āme having to fight tooth nā nail to force myself to consume new mediaā thing than it is a matter of the actual game#anyways i came here to talk abt the program! bc since iām not filming my HSR stuff iām gonna be insufferable abt it on Tumblr instead ! :)#and iām probably not filming any more Genshin stuff. or anything else at all for that matter but letās not talk abt that dead dream#pun not intended lmao. Anyways letās return to the subject at hand while thereās still room left in these tags shall we#iām so fucking glad they had Aventurine on this program man. especially since heās leaked to only have 18 lines in 2.2ā¦ it was nice to see-#-him here at least š„¹ iāll take what i can get. his unenthusiastic little bird noises at the beginning.. him being reluctant to come out..#the way one of the first things to come out of his mouth was āyāknow DR RATIO once told meā¦ā like boy we get it ur in love with him š (/J!)#i love how they canāt go on these programs w/o talking abt each other itās adorable. AND THE WAY HE WAS THE ONE TO EXPLAIN BOOTHILLāS KIT!?#they canāt just fuel my crackship like thisā¦ god and his whole āmuddle-fudger.. son-of-a-nice-lady?ā thing had me wheezing#Aven mocking Boothillās inability to curse was not on my special program bingo card but fuck iām here for it#and Robin being all curious abt him was so cute.. āwho /is/ he? ā¦ does he order milk at the bar?ā iām crying sheās so sweet#also the trailer was fucking insane. which feels redundant as hell bc all of HoYoās version trailers go hard but like. still. wow.#that millisecond long shot of Boothill surveying the skyline is so fucking good. also what the fuck is Jing Yuan doing here!!#not complaining at all tho. weāve got JY & DH(IL?). Argenti(?). Boothill. Sunday. Aven. all my men r here and i am eating so fucking good#Seven.txt#viddy game stuff
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can u rb the ship meme again in a year so i have time to play rf4 to pick up a girlie to ship with frey (unless we then live in an ideal world where theres a billion rf muses and also the rf dragon game released making me fall in love with someone from there instead
ooc. save this, and screenshot this, and i wait for that day. patiently.
#ooc.| faty speaks#toestalucia#[ :3c#[voodoo magic to have more r/f blogs#[COME BACK RF BLOGS WHAT THE HELL WHEN I HAD MORE RF MUSES COME BACK TO USSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!#[same pain with type0 ...forever......#[holds you tightly..my only amigo. i cherish you. forever
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Me making a HSR verse for my oc: Hmmm so the plan on this one could maybe be a bad end for her tendency to fuck around and find outā
My brain: So anyways, make her whole deal a fucken horror story-
#Oceanxveiined#//Thas her blog#ā ā ( .ooc. );#//I mean itās not THAT much of a horror thing anyways. Bordering on body horror ig (warning for that now jic)#//Itās basically āin her search for power to rival Aeons; she may or may not have gotten parasitized by monster maws essentiallyā#//Basically Me.nagerie from Arr0wverse ig? but x4; so ig itās more like Scy||a from myths?#//Yeah#//Basically itās 4 serpentine creature things that merged into her body at the lower back& can burst out when they feel like it/in battle#//The way I can best visualize what they look like is like. a combo of the Hydra heads from Hercu/es 1997#//And Ven0m when it pokes its head out of Edd|e lol. Smth like a mix of the two#//But yeah#//She gets so fucked up in every narrative she take part in lol#//Selling soul to a demon for power and slowly gets corrupted against her will by said demon bc they got attached? Yup#//Slowly succumbing to abyss influence and might might a fate like/worse than Jakob or the Sinners of Khaenriāah? Yup yup#//Made a deal with a death god to save her brother& considering her heritage; it might mean eternal torment to counteract stealing a soul#back; all bc sheād been too desperate to get him back that she didnāt come up with a more clever plan? EYUP#//Those are her Descendants/fantasy verse; Genshin; and pjo verses respectively#//And then her bnha au; in which she keeps overusing her Quirk; esp with certain Quirk drug usage; to dangerous extents#//But y e a h#//Its fun#//I love my darling Dani so much#//Byt yeah; back on topic; that aināt TOO much tho lol right?#//Eh; why not#//The galaxy is FULL of horrors#//I mean did you SEE the sin thirsters and Borisin plotlines??? or the Propagation???? B r u h
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#!! dk how to put this out but going through some really busy and just some downright terrible times rn so queue will really really suffer#and i dont particularly care abt q but more the fact that im not able to rb all of my wonderful mutuals' wonderful creations#so!! if u see this pls dont hesitate to rb what u like and if we r mutuals pls know that when i come back im going through all ur blogs#to rb and send love to all u made with vengeance <mildly embarassing but i needed to say it t hank
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somehow ive made myself think im not an anime kid despite the countless animes ive watched. like i can feel my brain tricking me into thinking these didnt have any affect on me
#like almost everyday im reminded of another anime that ive watched and im like wait What. how did i forget that#for like the past year if u asked me if i watch anime i would say shit like 'oh not really but i am starting to watch one piece!!'#but slowly its all been coming back to me#the naruto binge watching i did w my dad and brother during quarantine. haikyuu. free. CAPTAIN TSUBASA (god i loved that one). beyblade#burst. a little bit of mha and hunter x hunter. spy x family. theres like a few more i KNOW ive watched but it just doesnt. come to my head#ik this isnt that MUCH but i should give myself credit at least right#OH MY GOD I USED TO WATCH ATTACK ON TITAN. wow i cant believe that#GAKUEN BABYSITTERS HOW COULD I FORGET YOU#there was also this one witch academy anime i watched on yt but i dont remember what its called#something traveller or whatever#i read a few dragonball manga as well a few years back#idk. maybe its because not all of these r just that interesting to me perhaps#it could also be like a fandom thing? maybe being in a fandom is what keeps me interested in a piece of media idkkk#but its not like i WANT to be in the. idk aot or free fandom#idk man its just a bit Odd.#why am i normal about THOSE but not normal about THESE (points at my blog)#ah whatever. idk man
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hey gamers if you're here from tgp holy SHIT i'm so sorry. i have actually a negative amount of updates i'm currently in the process of replotting it because the story i had before got so unnecessarily complex, there were like 10 subplots and i'll be honest it just sucked ass. so i'm simplifying and starting from scratch
#i feel so bad about going radio silent and then coming back on here and being like āhey i actually have LESS than i had beforeā but#MAN I'M REALLY SORRY#sorry for being a coward but going on my main blog makes me nervous the impostor syndrome is so real#i've been reading more in comparison to before which is basically going from having read 0 books to i have read 1.5 books#i read the r@ven b0ys for the first time today because i borrowed it from the library#like months ago. and today was the due date so i just spedrun it and returned it at the end of the day#it was so good.#i'm gonna read the 2nd one prolly soon#reading books is. so different than reading drabbles on ao3 i feel like i've missed out on so much by not reading real books in years#i'm having to relearn how to make a story#but i haven't actually read fanfic other than a couple one offs in the last couple years either#(rubs hands together) i'm catching up on that too#i keep getting fixated on ships that the majority of the fandom doesn't give a shit about but I've grown to accept this curse..#i think the pattern is my favourite character + my other favourite character#that's it#MY BAD abt the yapathon LMAOOO i am allergic to shutting the fuck up
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Played Mayoi after months today because they added Looking Sharp Kunikida to the bungou point store š
#FINALLY#it took them y e a r s#now I'm only missing 2 kunikida cards#I actually got vampire kunikida.....on his birthday unfortunately lol#I've also been away from tumblr and I've been wanting to come back#i miss being here#i am just so preoccupied with angst these days i cannot function normally anymore lmaoo#I'll try to revive this blog a bit more by queuing some posts#!!
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i wish i had the motivation to write cuz i have a ridiculous amount of ideas (specifically about my silly little self insert,,,)
#styx says#im going to vaguely name them all so you understand . im plagued by gay thoughts#we got video origin story (how he met shawn and gus). video coming out as aroace and the subsequent qpr formation.#(which is the snippet i posted like. a month ago???)#video comes along to the obligatory āpart where they confront a suspect alone and get in troubleā. pizza robots (which i talked more#abt on my self.ship blog . which everyone following this blog also follows lmao). and the non canon au i posted the outline to on here.#i mean i definitely have the Time to write all of these ! just not the motivation + idk if i can confidently wrte the characters yet yknow#anyway thats my monthly āoh how i wish i could write (proceeds to not write)ā post o7 going back to sitting here doing nothing#(ALSO ERM. these r all full ideas so if anybody wants to ask what the Hell i mean..........im down to ramble abt my sillys)
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the music btw.
#plz listen to it I've been listening to it all the time for 2 years now#nearly two years* it isnt that old yet#the lyrics r good too but i just. the music.#also i think I've come to a realization..maybe my writing will kick back in if i do graphics. maybe i need more graphics#maybe my blogs aren't pretty enough#maybe today is a graphics day where i dont force myself to stare at plank pages to write#šššļæ½ļ潚 ; ooc.
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Me: *starts Genshin and fully thinks I'm gonna be a Kaeya or Diluc kinnie, based on what I knew about them and my prev kins, but unable to fully connect with either of them*
Several weeks later, discovering the Sumeru boys, specifically Cyno: oh no-
#genshin impact#genshin#genshin cyno#sumeru#mf hit me like a truck#i was totally committed to my mondstadians#liyue peeps are cool but most of them r like ehhh i couldve used more backstory to care about u#inazuma terrifies me#BUT THEN SUMERU PEEPS-#4ggravate has my heart#what funky lil guys#and cyno-#im in a chokehold and i need to know everything about him#fyi#this wasnt supposed to be a genshin blog#theyre just my hyperfixation rn#srry to my followers who were here for orv content#ill come back one day#Day 116 of hiding from my friends
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My sims page is up!!
I'll add more sims when tumblr stops being an ass with the 15mb image upload limit but for now these are the main main sims for the current chapter I'll start posting soon!
The story is already 6 chapters in so I'm not uploading the whole thing here (it's like 2500 panels... lmao) But I've uploaded them all to google drive
#simblr#ts4 simblr#sims 4#ts4 story#sims story#ts4 simmer#Got SRWE for these profiles and they're so C R I S P#For so long I've had crunchy cas images but NO MORE#If you see any spelling mistakes no you didn't#i'm hosting the sims page on a side blog purely because you can't add images to page htmls... unless i'm silly which is probable...#anyway I didn't wanna have to keep moving the code between blogs when adding a new sim so it's on a second blog#but i have it so all the links come back to this blog#kei says
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Ah, it seems my counterpart is verbal once more. Hello there, 079.
--O5-13-ii, "The Old Ai"
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I am in the hospital w a mystery illness yet again :/ day 3 and still no answers
#might come back to this blog for real for a bit no promises tho#my mouth is such a wreck I can't drink or eat without pain and chewing is out of the question so im barely getting anything in#bcs of the dehydration n whatever else my once perfect easy veins r giving me more trouble than they ever have in all their years combined#I've already had at least 1 allergic reaction to a medication#plus this is absolutely terrible timing for at least 3 different reasons#ect ect
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āitās not too sweet!ā āthe perfect dessert - not too sweet!ā āI love making this, itās just right and not too sweet--ā ok well i have the palate of a three year old trick-or-treating for the first time and my goal in life is to die in the throes of a sugar rush.
I.Ā will tell YOU.Ā when itās TOO SWEET.
#if this sounds like a threat:Ā it is#food mention#in reality yeah i like stuff that tastes like more than sugar but#chefs & recipe blogs attach to common phrases in an almost memetic way and it ticks me off#everything is an advertisement!Ā everything is trying to market itself!#especially when it's obvs just latching onto trending phrases playing the algorithm with a generic coffee cake recipe#karen theres 3 cups of sugar in this singular cupcake it is a dietician's night terror come to life#spare me and go back to describing how a chance potluck dessert saved your marriage#in the same vein as 'white dude who loves to say UMAMI' & 'it's c a r a m a l i z e d'#tangent: these people don't understand the difference between 'sophisticated taste' and 'literally hates your tastebuds personally'#it is so hard being the only person with correct opinions on everything.Ā it is so difficult
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like im getting tired of being online. i didnt realize i followed so many normies ? n idk how that happened i made this acct when i was 12 n into gore. but every day scrolling is like rich white woman photoset rich white man gifset baby social lesson tastless goncharov joke art that sets back the feminist movement 50 yrs inane discourse that just Wouldnt exist if the ppl involved had irl friends rich white woman gifset rich white woman gifset post abt how that same white woman was involved in a racist blackface controversy This year. yknow ?? im tired of it. āoh well get offline thenā its not just online tho is it ? tv n movies r the same streaming services r the same. u pick a streamer at random n they Will say smth offensive or tone deaf bc thats how twitchs algorithm works if ur pretty n white if u have iphone face u can b on the frontpage n that just means its more likely theyve never like thought abt their place in the world n whether or not what they say rly has any value but they expect ppl to listen yknow ? n racist violence antisemitic violence transphobic violence all on the rise bc the āharmlessā system in place has been allowed to run its course, headed by the same sort of ppl. everything is algorithm this aesthetic that. its an intersection of a ton of issues n things I Know but its hard not 2 b like āah internets too white again todayā n just smash my phone
#stfu aito#if that makes sense#like my dash is a blend of queer ppl poc jewish ppl a ton of experiences n then old blogs coming back r posting rly ? questionable content#n the algorithms n shit make it impossible to find ppl i want to find. n i dont rly want the algorithms to give them more visibility cuz#that can b bad for the ppl i wanna find u fell#*feel
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