#((lol hope I had enough puns anyway))
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Dec ✮ 12 ✮ 2024 – update
Part of me hates doing these mostly because it's a whole lotta nothing and me just repeating everything I said the last update (lol) but I do like doing it because I like keeping people updated, even if it's a non-update. I may sound like a broken record (pun not intended) but I know a lot of people don't catch my updates every time so it's nice to just keep people informed yk yk
✮ — Part 2 + rewrite
Fun fact: I had written an entire essay about my excitement for the rewrite and chapter 3 and beyond but it got too long!
It boiled down to me wondering why I'm so excited for this rewrite and realizing it's because I feel comfortable enough to approach it with complete creative freedom. I wrote the first iteration of the demo with the constant worries swimming in my head like "I hope people understand what I'm trying to say here" and "I hope this situation is being read the way I intended for it to be read." And I think I sort of had those thoughts tenfold while writing Part 2. If you paid attention, you can probably see where I was trying to shut down certain discussions in the narrative lmao
Recently I had a tiny epiphany and reminded myself that it's not always about what I intend to write, but what is being understood by each reader. And yes this is basic writing 101 but let me have this moment of clarity okay. Embracing that means I can proceed with Infamous without holding back and sticking to my guns in regards to what I want for this story aka I'm just going to write what I write and like....not worry about the rest you feel (while of course integrating the common critiques and suggestions and improving on the things Infamous falls short in—I am not Shakespeare lmao)
ANYWAY my point is that I'm excited to fix up the demo !!! and just go back to it with complete confidence in myself and write whatever the heck feels right to me (and write the rest of the story lolol) and return with a better story than I have now for everyone!!
✮ — December will be for
planning what I'm going to improve and squeezing that in a reworked outline so it can flow much better narratively.
Outlining Chapter 3 and hopefully have the bare bones first draft drafted up which is mostly just be writing blocks of descriptions
I'm not sure I'll have anything substantial to justify looking for beta testers so soon yet but maybe!
work on my spice writing babey writing/reading spice makes me actually physically recoil but im determined to get better! which reminds me to finish the 6k follower gifts!
And also take a small breather because I am moving!
✮ — Patreon
I've already mentioned this on Patreon and a few times on here, but I do want to reiterate that Patreon content is coming out in bulk this month, in case anyone was wondering why I'm not posting as frequently. The content is still the same in terms of the quantity, it just won't be released every few days! thank you guys for being understanding of that <3
✮ —
My activity has is decreasing little by little due to my move but I do read every question and try to at least answer one question a day. I get quite a few mentions lately so I have to sort through those since I do get tagged in things, but I miss them due to my notifications. Usually I hope for the best and hope tracking the tag puts it on my dashboard <3 im not ignoring anyone!
That's all for now! Hope everyone has a happy December and Happy Holidays!
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Your art is genuinely one of the most inspiring I’ve seen in ages. Immediately upon discovering your blog, I was mesmerized by your creativity bleeding into and staining each piece you’ve posted. Don’t know a lick of Homestuck, but it’s unnecessary to when your art tells me all I need to know without saying a single word. I can grasp why fans of the comic hold it so dear when you paint such a beautiful image of it. (figuratively, not referring to your actual paintings, LOL! Does this count as a pun?)
Sorry, this is just an unrelated doodle because I don’t have any relevant images to add.
I really appreciate you taking the time out of your day to tell me this, thank you. I know it is just like a little act of kindness to you but nice messages mean a lot to me and I wish I could properly project how glad I am to have kind people supporting my art in *any* amount. I’m someone who gets very easily stressed out running accounts so talking to people is what makes it worth the hassle for me. I’m glad you like my art and that it inspires you and anyone else reading this who may feel similarly, I hope I don’t quit art and that I keep improving.
I also do very much recommend giving Homestuck a read if you’ve got the time. The fanbase is unfortunately something I don’t have much of a positive view on but even if it is just some internet comic, reading it growing up is definitely something I wouldn’t take ever back. It has some of the best character / world building of anything I’ve read thus far and it has always just stuck with me. I’ve never had a homestuck friend that moved on from it, which is something I rarely find. I think it appeals to everyone in a different way because of the writing and how vast it is / how many bases it covers. I’m sure that if you ever read it you would find your own connections within the comic. I know though that my drawings are less connected with the atmosphere of the comic itself and infinitely more attuned to my own interpretations and feelings towards the characters, but I also think there is already enough more fitting homestuck art for me to just draw whatever.
Anyways here is my cool new print I got for my wall from @/ReptileEnclosed’s InPrnt, and here are just some of the nice things people have said to me that stick in my mind. Every time someone says something I appreciate I screenshot it and add it to a folder called “Nice Words”.
#Thank you for electing to be kind today.#Also thank you to the people who stick around and consistently support my shit. I don’t want to name names and run the risk of embarrassment#but I know who you guys are and it always a pleasure to hear from any of you. Also my mutuals even though I don’t have many. Hi#Sorry for cheesy dumb post no one cares about. Haha. I’m really trying to not just spam my page with asks but it’s so hard#ask
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Penance [3]
Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader
Words: 10,943
Chapter Warnings: Swearing, a little bit of angst, some fluff, mentions of death, mentions of injuries, the case jason is working is a reference to red hood: lost days
Summary:❝Thesus: Stop. Give me your hand. I am your friend. Herakles: I fear to stain your clothes with blood. Thesus: Stain them. I don’t care.❞
It’s been a month and a half since Crane’s reign of terror was stopped, leaving Gotham to finally return to normal. But, what is normal? After everything Jason and you have been through, it seems normal might be some unobtainable dream state. But that’s not going to stop either of you from trying and maybe, you’ll get lucky in the end. At the end of it, the two of you have suffered enough, right?
Right?
A/N: I'm so sorry for the late chapter!! I had family from out of town here that I haven't seen in like 15 years lol and then I was sick lol You can add yourself to the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary and turn on notifications if you prefer that!! I love feedback, I swear it keeps me posting on a weekly basis 😭
series masterlist | masterlist | tag list
You head home, the smile not leaving your face. Despite your thing for running, you've been doing better. You got better about it before Jason died. And you're choosing tonight, to not run from it. A part of you thought maybe you would because Jason deserves better. But your heart beats to the sound of his name. And there is nothing you’ll ever be able to do about it. He has ruined you for anyone else and you can’t even be mad because you only ever want him anyway. Even if that means friends. So, instead of running and punishing yourself tonight, you let the smile plaster itself over your face and you let your heart beat wildly while your stomach spins with butterflies.
Molly’s attention is pulled to the door as you lean against it, closing it.
“Hey.” Moly chimes. “How’d it go?” She asks, seeing the lazy smile across your face, gathering hope for her friends.
“Good.” You push off the door before you kick off your shoes. “Tim suspects nothing. I’m sure he will at some point and we’re gonna start tomorrow.” You explain, noticing the laptop open in front of Molly but seeing Goodreads open instead of anything of importance, immediately telling you Molly's been waiting for you.
“Oh, we’re?" Molly beams with a teasing grin. "So you guys talked?” Molly's eyes track you as you walk over to the sink.
“Yes.” You answer and the smile doesn't budge. “We train Tim tomorrow.” You state casually as you grab a small bag of Cheetos from the cabinet beside the sink.
Molly eyes you as you jump onto the counter, sitting to face Molly before opening your bag of Cheetos. You offer no other explanation. No part of Molly should even be surprised because of course, you aren't going to give her any detail unless she asks specific questions.
“You haven’t spoken to him in a month and a half. You’ve been asking about him at least every other day. And that’s it?”
You sway your feet, not quite letting your heels touch the cabinet below you as you shrug. “It’s kind of weird. I don’t know.” You shake your head before eating a Cheeto. “It was really nice to see him though.” Your voice is soft as you divert your eyes to the bag in your hands, a tender smile on your lips.
Molly's chest warms with your response. It's not that you've been miserable or even all too unhappy over the last month. It's just that it's very clear something is missing. It's clear that it's been hard for you and some of that is your own doing to yourself. Tonight, you seem calm, not as on edge as you usually are. Before tonight, it was as if you were just anticipating something horrible to happen at any second but now you're sitting peacefully on the counter, your face clear of any worry lines and your brows aren't tugged together in thought. It's a bit of a relief from where Molly is sitting.
“Are you done punishing yourself?” Molly asks.
You snap your attention back to Molly before you scoff. “What?”
“You’re punishing yourself for what happened." Molly states simply. You won't explain hardly anything about your own blame. Molly isn't sure if it's just the death of Jason or if it's the whole fallout after, maybe both. But, Molly does know you and she knows you've been punishing yourself, regardless on if you'll ever talk about it. "Are you done? Now that you got to talk to him. I told you, he’s doing okay.”
“You always said you’re worried.” You point a Cheeto at Molly, intentionally avoiding the question.
“There will never be a point in time I’m not worried about him. He's Jason. Red Hood, Robin, just Jason. He’s always up to something.” Molly states with a soft laugh.
“Yeah, yeah, he is.” You let out a sigh. “I just…I really didn’t think he wanted to talk.” You shrug your shoulders. “I didn’t want to intrude on his space and ruin something for him, ya know? I mean…he died and he was really getting help and trying to get better, I didn’t wanna call and ruin that for him.” You shake your head as you chew the inside of your cheek.
That is not the full reason but it is the reason you're willing to say. You know if you tell Molly everything, Molly will tell you that it’s ridiculous. She’ll say it’s been forgiven. She’ll tell Jason and Jason will feel guilty, probably. Jason will bring it up so it doesn’t eat you alive. It's not something you want at all right now. So, you stick with half the story.
“I get it.” Molly nods her head. “At least you guys are talking now.” Molly smiles softly. "I could have told you he wanted to talk though if that was all you needed to know."
"Did he say something?" You question almost a little too quickly, making Molly laugh.
"No." Molly shakes her head. "But he always asked about you. He was asking Gar, too." Molly explains simply as she watches your brows furrow. "He wouldn't have if he didn't want to talk. You two have got to learn how to communicate."
"You're talking to Gar?" You ask, bypassing the entire point of Molly's explanation.
"Yeah?" Molly questions easily but she takes a page from your book and offers no other explanation. "Don't change the subject."
You let out a chortle. "Pretty sure all of our problems would be solved if we communicated." You scrunch your nose before finishing off your Cheetos.
"Okay, so we're in agreement. So, tomorrow, you're gonna see him and tell him that you still think about him all the time and this time a part was a huge waste of time?" Molly gives you a cheeky grin.
You nod quickly before flipping her off with the raise of your brows, making Molly just laugh in response. “I’m gonna shower and head to bed though. I will update you when there is something to be updated on with the Jason front.”
“Thank you.” Molly beams with sarcasm.
Meanwhile, Jason is with Tim. Tim has a lot of questions, that’s for sure. You said he was insistent but Jason had no idea. Tim has been asking questions ever since you left and it’s not even annoying. He just wants to know things about Robin and Batman, being a vigilante, stuff about Jason. Jason finds it a bit funny because it's very reminiscent of his early days as Robin, filled with questions and hope. Tim wants to know about Red Hood but he avoids asking about his death. It’s mostly what he’s doing now and how it all works. He asks about his Robin days. Jason doesn’t talk a lot about them but he tries to offer something that isn’t bitter or sad or discouraging for Tim.
“Think I’ll find Venta?” Tim asks, changing up his line of questioning for a minute.
“Don’t know.” Jason shrugs before he takes a squig of his beer. “If y/n can’t figure it out with you, might not even be in the city.” Jason lies with ease.
“What do I do then?” Tim is desperate for this mission to go smoothly. It's his first time as Robin and he doesn't want to let Dick down.
“Go back to Metropolis.” Jason states.
“Yeah, I guess.” Tim lets out a defeated sigh.
If anyone knows what it's like to not want to disappoint someone like Dick, it's Jason. It's hard and he doesn't fault Dick for this plan. Jason will give it to him, it makes sense, it's a good idea. But, Tim isn't going to find Venta and Jason feels for him.
“Boyfriend, huh?” Jason changes the subject in hopes of taking Tim's mind off of Venta for at least a second.
“Uh, yeah.” Tim nods his head, shifting in his seat. “Bernard.” Tim's heart weighs heavy in his chest.
Jason nods once. “How long has he been in the coma?”
“A while.” Tim says sadly.
Jason watches Tim fiddling with his half-empty water bottle in front of him. All things considered, Jason thinks Tim is handling everything well, at least on the outside. Jason is certain if you were the one in the coma, Dick wouldn't get him to leave under any circumstance. He'd be fighting tooth and nail until you were out of the coma, even if that maybe would not be the smartest or best route.
Usually, Jason is really good at compartmentalizing, partially through training with Bruce and partially due to trauma. But, anytime it ever came to you, it got a little muddied. He could still be Robin, no problem but in a situation like Tim is in, Jason isn't so sure he'd be able to work anything else until he knew you were okay. Tim seems to be able to put his emotions, his anger and care for others, aside for what must be done. Dick still isn't always the best at it.
Jason thinks this might make Tim a better Robin.
“Hey, the Titans will figure out. Always do.” Jason assures him.
"Yeah." Tim lets out a sigh with a soft nod, hoping he's right. “Can I ask you something?”
“You’ve been asking me shit.” Jason quips back.
“How’d you do it?” Tim asks bluntly. “Y/n said she’s been hurt a lot. Doing this. How’d you deal with it?”
Being here is not as easy as Tim is making it seem. The excitement of this is definitely helping but Bernard is still in the back of his head. Every time Gar or Dick or Conner text him, he almost has a panic attack, terrified it'll be bad news about Bernard. He feels like he's not helping and if anyone should be helping his boyfriend, it should absolutely be him. But, Dick is the leader and he can't just go against him. Tim still needs to prove that he can be a good Robin. It's as if he's being torn in two and maybe Jason isn't the best person to ask given everything but Jason is at least very honest.
“Cuts and bruises are different than a coma." Jason states, unsure how else he's supposed to answer.
"You know what I mean, man." Tim almost groans with a plea.
Jason pauses for a few seconds, knowing he doesn't exactly have an answer. The person he should be asking is you because if you can get up and continue this after everything, anyone can. For Jason, it's always been that he has no choice. It's always been about survival, it's still about survival. He can't just sit around and hope for the best. Jason's never been sit around and wait person anyway. Something has to be done. Unfortunately for Tim, that's about all the advice Jason is going to be able to give him.
“Just do it.” Jason answers. “Moping about it isn’t going to help. You get up and do something.”
“I’m here.” Tim states.
“Because Dick needed you to do something. That’s still doing something, right?” Jason raises though he does understand Tim's argument.
“Yeah, but shouldn't I be there to help?” Tim asks. “This is great, ya know? On my own, being Robin! It’s like the coolest thing ever. But, why couldn't this wait?” Tim shakes his head with a soft scoff.
“I’m sure he’s got his reasons.” Jason assures him. "Look, man, Dick's doing what's best for you to be Robin and you know they're trying to figure it out. This is still helping." Jason tries to offer some reason to Tim before he gets to his feet. “Come on. I’ll show you your room.” Jason jerks his head towards the door. “Don’t sweat it, alright? Dick’s got it handled.” Jason states and it’s still a little weird having a little faith in Dick but given all of the events that happened, Dick hasn’t given Jason too hard of a time when they’ve talked.
Jason shows Tim to a room. It’s not much. A TV and a couch, that’s mostly it but it’ll do. Tim won’t be in Gotham long anyway. Jason fetches him a blanket and tells him he has free reign of the place, just don’t break anything and then he’s off to his own room.
He’s switched rooms since the last time you were here. The mattresses is sat up against the north wall but he has an ensuite bathroom. The door to the ensuite is a few feet from the mattress, the head of the mattress and the doorframe on the same wall. Two dressers stand on the wall opposite. He has a turn table and some vinyls. A bookshelf stands tall, loaded with books right next to the bedroom door. It is not much, especially compared to the Manor and the Tower but it’s his. And it’s the things he likes.
Jason heads for the shower, expecting to get it done and over with before trying to get some sleep. But, despite feeling fine all day, something starts feeling wrong. He thought he felt fine, all things considered, but as he tugs his hoodie and shirt over his head, his hands start to shake. They’re practically vibrating right off on his wrists and his heart starts to thunder in his chest. Something in his body feels wrong, like something is going to melt out of his ears. It gets harder to breathe and his head gets dizzy. There's a feeling like maybe his eyesight might start to go next while his hands grip the edge of the sink to stabilize himself. Every muscle in his legs starts to feel numb and weak while the shaking has moved up to his elbows. His arms feel like cinderblocks so he slams his eyes shut and tries to breathe.
He doesn’t know what this is. It doesn’t feel quite like a panic attack. Those always felt explosive. They are loud in comparison. But this? This feels quiet and it feels sharp, deafening. It creeps on him and then hits him in full force when he’s not looking. It always passes but it scares the shit out of him that this might not just be a bad panic attack. What if the Pit is calling him back? He hates the thought but he knows it has to, right? Because being alive doesn’t feel quite right either. Nothing feels quite right anymore.
The feeling starts to pass in a few minutes while Jason looks to the mirror. He hates that white streak. Dick didn’t even get it. Jason gets dunked in the Pit and Jason comes back a monster with a white streak of hair, feeling like he’s going to be ripped back to his own grave in a matter of time. Dick on the other hand seems fine and his hair is fucking normal. What the fuck is even up with that?
There aren’t any bruises decorating his face and he can’t help but think you might have been relieved. You always were. But, you don’t see the y scar staring back at him in the mirror or the red and black bruises over his torso from the other night. He is thankful for that. They hurt. Jason doesn’t waste much more time on it before he gets in the shower. He has to get up early, an appointment with Leslie and all.
By the time the next day rolls around, you pick up Tim from Jason's, Jason nowhere to be found. All you got was that he had left early and he said he'd be back later. Very Jason not to give out any form of detail. And maybe you're a little disappointed you missed him. But, you don't show it as you and Tim head off to Harbor, Tim hoping to find Venta while you're just playing along. Mostly, you want to see how he interrogates people, see if he's any good at it. Tim has never seemed the violent type but you're thinking him as Robin might surprise you since he's so dedicated to the cause.
So, the two of you go and you spend a few hours doing this. You take a backseat, watching as Tim tries to get answers. You give out pointers whenever he lets someone go because he's not the best at it. He's not bad but you feel like he can do better. He can figure out anything, he just needs to get better at threatening people even though you know these people are in fact innocent so you're not actually inciting violence this time. Innocent people don't need to get hurt just so Tim can learn how to be Robin.
After a few hours, you suggest you head back, clearly you aren't going to find anything out. And you're hungry. Tim reluctantly agrees, mostly because you suggested you visit his parents really quick, grab some food, and head back. So, you do, making casual conversations on the way.
By the time you get back, you find Jason in his own training room, the room you were in last night. He's at the monitors working on something but spins around in a chair once you and Tim walk in, Tim holding a take-out bag.
"Got you food." Tim states, digging in the bag for Jason's.
Jason's eyes dart to you as you take your mask off and offer him a soft smile. "I'm gonna change. Don't touch my food..." Your eyes narrow at Jason. "Jason."
"I don't eat your food." Jason snarks back as he takes the container from Tim.
"The fuck you do." You quip back before you spin on your heels, heading to the bathroom down the hall.
You change quickly, ready to just eat your lunch. You still go to Excellent Gotham a few times a week and you're still not bored of it. Once you're in your street clothes, you head back to the room to find the boys practically scarfing down their food with Jason still sat by the monitors and Tim at the small table.
"Where were you this morning?" You ask as you take a seat beside Tim.
"Busy." Jason answers, mouth full of food. "Something for Babs." Jason lies, keeping it casual.
It's not that he cares if you know he's going to see Leslie again or that he cares much if Tim knows. It's that he doesn't want to get into it. There's still a lot of work to be done and it's his work to be done so he keeps it close to his chest.
"Right." You nod your head, eying him carefully before you open your own take-out container.
"She's got you working something, right?" Jason asks, careful not to make it seem like he's brushing you off entirely.
"Yeah, seems like it's just the one guy running shit but there might be more to it." You explain as you eat.
"So you guys just work with the commissioner?" Tim asks as he looks between the two of them.
You and Jason glance between each other before you both shrug your shoulders.
"Kind of." You answer.
"Basically." Jason answers. "There's some shit the GCPD can't do because of red tape or legal reasons so she sends us."
"We have to make money somehow." Sam says sarcastically.
Tim shakes his head. "Do you ever get used to it? I mean this has been awesome over the past few weeks."
Jason looks down at his food. He would not say someone just gets used to it, not really. There is always some form of excitement that takes over when he puts a suit on and he goes out. There's always some form of excitement facing off with people who can kill him and who want to kill him. That part is slightly different now, he almost feels just the tint of anxiety. Death became a reality and he is not invincible but he goes out. It's still something he genuinely feels good about. It's different and there isn't this huge sense of pride with it anymore but he still likes it. It's not so much that someone just gets used to it.
"Not really." Jason answers softly.
You don't think you'll ever be used to it. It's a routine, sure. That part of the job you're used to but everything else? Not so much. You still absolutely love doing it but it's different than before. It almost felt somewhat of an obligation then, living with the Titans and then Batman and Robin. But now, it's entirely your choice. This is your choice to do this and that is cathartic in a way. You're taking control of your life but that doesn't mean you're used to going out and willingly putting yourself in front of gunfire and a bunch of people who want to kill you. You aren't used to the pain that comes with it. Maybe going out every night to protect people is something someone gets used to but possibly dying for other people with such violence is not. Losing people to this life is not.
"I don't think so." You answer honestly.
The three of you continue your meals, Tim finishing first. He's back on his feet as soon as he's done, rushing to throw away his takeout dish as Jason and you watch him. He's still got the suit on and he doesn't look like he's going to change. Something about it makes you think this is probably how Jason was when he first got the suit. He probably slept in it.
"I'm gonna go back out there." Tim declares to the room.
Jason looks to you and you look to Jason. Are either of you supposed to stop him? He looks pretty determined. Stopping him might seem suspicious. Stopping him might be worse off for his training.
"You think you'll find anything out?" Jason questions.
"I have to. It's my job." Tim states and that's when you know you should let him go alone.
"Call if you need anything. Keep your phone on and I'll have Molly track it in case you get into any trouble like you did last night." You offer a simple smile.
"Right...yeah okay, thanks." Tim gives you a sheepish smile before he darts right out of the room, the bo staff in hand.
"He's gonna get his ass kicked." Jason mutters.
"Definitely." You nod your head.
"Why'd you let him go then?" Jason nearly chortles as he takes another bite.
"Why didn't you stop him?" You chortle right back. Tim is also Jason's job. "He has a job to do and we'll never be able to train him in any of this if he actually thinks he can do it. I get Dick is building confidence or whatever but Tim's detective skills will only get him so far." You state.
"That's why I didn't stop him." Jason laughs with the shake of his head.
The room falls silent as you both continue your food. You text Molly letting her know about Tim and just to keep an ear out in case something hits the fan and you and Jason need to go help him. Tim is only supposed to be asking questions, he should be fine until he gets back so you aren't too worried and neither is Jason.
"Still the Shimmer case?" You ask as you toss your takeout away.
"Uh, yeah and another one." Jason states, turning back to the monitors, pulling up a few missing posters for kids.
"More missing kids?" You question as you take a seat beside him.
"Nope." Jason starts, shaking his head in annoyance. "We know where most of them are which is the problem." Jason huffs.
"Do I even want to know?" You ask cautiously with a grimace.
"They've got them spread out across the city but anytime anyone gets close, they move. I think it's someone in the department running it." Jason explains, glancing to you. "Made a whole fucking business of selling kids."
"Fucking gross." You grimace as you tug your sleeves over your hands. "Are they keeping them in Gotham though?"
"These ones." Jasn pulls up about ten posters as he gestures to the screen. "We haven't gotten a sighting or word about in about two weeks so I don't think so. But the others we've seen here and there or heard something. Babs wants me to be careful, track who I can until I find the one running it. Then let her take it from there." Jason lets out a bitter scoff, still hellbent on fighting Babs tooth and nail over this one.
"Right, but you're Jason Todd who doesn't do that. So what are you actually going to do about it?" You ask with hope Jason will take it into his own hands. Anyone who's willing to just sell kids for who knows what, shouldn't be able to get locked away and then let free to do it all over again in a different city.
"Scare him out into the open and then kill him. Selling fucking kids. No one gets to just go through the fucking justice system that'll let them out to do it all over again. Babs is gonna be pissed but I don't fucking care." Jason huffs, determination written over every line of his face.
"Good, fuck that guy." You scoff and you'd be lying if you didn't want in. "Need any help?" You ask, keeping your eyes on the screen to not seem too eager about offering help.
Jason laughs softly. "I thought you didn't team?" Jason quips, looking back at you with the raise of his brows. It's the same look he always gave you when he just wanted to watch you squirm, the question at hand not even being a real question.
Your heart starts to thunder in your chest again and maybe sitting so close to him was just your subconscious because you swear you didn't do it on purpose. It's the way he grins back at you just as he always did whenever he was trying to fuck with you. Before, before things got all messy and real, he'd scoot closer to you and wiggle his brows. But, he doesn't. He keeps his signature smirk as your eyes are locked on his. You forgot how much you love the color green.
"That wasn't a no and I thought you didn't team anymore." You quip back, leaning your elbow on the table, resting your head on your hand as your brows raise at him.
He'd always team with you if you asked.
"Could make an exception." Jason raises back.
"Aw, just for me?" You scrunch your nose at him.
"Could be fun." Jason teases as his heart erupts into pooling lava.
"Could be." You nod your head, chewing the inside of your cheek. "Loser."
Jason lets out a laugh. "Actually, yeah, I think you can help." Jason cuts it short pulling a mug shot of a woman you helped last week. "Know her right?"
"Yeah, she was one of the women I got out of the ring I'm working. She flipped." You state.
"Rumor has it, she was working with my guy first." Jason explains.
"Right, and he got bored as they do, recruit someone else." You state.
"Think you could talk to her?"Jason asks. "She'll know, at least, who he is, could fucking help."
"She wouldn't give us any names." You shrug before your brows furrow. "You said you guys think he's working for the department?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Well, she bypassed the whole system and clearance Babs set up. She's not in the program either. I checked. Babs said it was some sort of glitch or something but I don't think she believes it." You explain.
"Well, what about her friends? We can try to find her but until then, what about her friends?" Jason asks, knowing someone had to slip at some point. The more people involved, the harder it is to keep secrets. People love telling secrets.
"Yeah, yeah, uh...we have a few we're watching and one in our program. I can try." You offer with a simple nod.
"Thank you." Jason offers a subtle, closed-mouth smile.
"Of course, happy to help." You offer the same smile back.
The room falls silent between you while you watch Jason look over his monitors. He really has the whole setup now. Scans over the city, security system, alerts. It reminds you a little of the Batcave and Titans tower. You and Molly don't have quite the extensive system Jason does but it works for you. You're happy he's got it all laid out though. It makes her feel like he might be being a little safe out there, maybe taking a little extra caution for his life.
Jason glances at you and he wonders how this would be different if so much time hadn't passed, if things were different between you. He wonders if you'd be more of a team, working these missions together. He wonders if you'd be here with him or if you'd still live with Molly. Would you still take up a different part of the city? That actually would make more sense. Three vigilantes spread out can cover more ground but he thinks about it anyway. Would you be training together still? Would you meet up halfway through patrol for a quick snack by his favorite gargoyle or the roof near the wolf enclosure at the zoo? Too much time passed and he really wishes it wouldn't have.
It's for the best, he tells himself over and over to try and convince himself it is. He wants you so bad still that it is killing him but he can't let you down like he did before. That is not fair and he's worried he's not ready. And this is the second time you've spoken in a month and a half. That doesn't seem fair to even spring it on you. But you should know, right? Jason wonders if you should or maybe too much time has passed there, too. Maybe you think his feelings have changed with the lack of contact.
They haven't. They never could.
He just wants you to be happy even if it's not with him.
Jason clears his throat. "How have you been anyways?" Jason answers, trying to ease his own thoughts. "Molly and Gar said you're okay." Jason says softly and he says it on purpose, testing the waters.
Your brows pull together, watching as the corner of his mouth pulls up just slightly. The honesty of him asking your friends is new. "You asking about me, Jay?" The sarcasm isn't as strong as it normally is as if you're genuinely surprised he's being blunt about it but you aren't mad. Molly mentioned it last night but you didn't press, thinking it didn't mean much but with Jason stating it, it has to.
Jason shrugs. "I know you ask about me." Jason quips back grinning back at you, taking a shot in the dark with his assumption. If he's been asking, he's hoping you were, too.
Of course, you do but you want to know how he knows that. And then you remember. Jason Todd knows every single thing about you, inside and out. Even in his worst mental health days, somewhere deep inside his guarded heart, he knows you always loved him. Of course, you've asked about him. You have to. You don't want to live in a world where you don't check on him. It would be a dull and grey world and that's just not one you want to live in.
You suck your teeth, an uncontrollable smile coming to your face. "I always have to check on you." You say quietly, looking to the screens. Jason wants to combust. "I, uh, yeah, I've been okay." You pull in a breath, not letting your words linger in the air for too long. "Living with Molly is different but it's nice." You nod your head quickly. "How are you?"
"Good." Jason answers. "Yeah, it's uh, it's cool being away from Bruce and being able to do my own thing." Jason nods his head.
You tilt your head, narrowing your eyes. "Why are they worried about you then?" You question carefully.
"They're always worried, like you." Jason quips.
"Because you always give us reason to be worried." You widen your eyes at him.
"I don't fucking know, honestly. Think they just are." Jason clears his throat again, desperately wishing people didn't worry so much about him. It makes the guilt heavier. "After everything."
"Yeah, that's, uh, yeah, t-that makes sense." Your face falls as Jason watches the sadness rip itself across your features.
"What about you? They're worried about you, too." Jason nods his head up at you.
You pull in a breath. "Uh...yeah it's just...I don't know." You shake your head. "Same reason maybe and uh, just...being out there." You nod your head, omitting the parts about some nightmares and some reckless tendencies that were not there a few months ago.
"You sure you're alright?" Jason asks as his eyes narrow slightly as if he has some sort of sixth sense always telling when something's going on with you.
There's a single second where you almost bear it all to him. You almost tell him why you picked a fight last night and why you never called. You almost tell him why you patrol more than he does -- according to Molly. There's a part of you that almost wants to tell him because you would have before. But that was before, this is now. It's different now. He doesn't have to carry it for you anymore. It's not fair to him.
You nod. "Yeah, are you sure?" You point a finger to your head.
"Yeah, yeah, uh I've been seeing Leslie." Jason admits despite him wanting to keep it close to his chest. He can always tell when something is picking at you, he considers this an olive branch, an offering of acknowledgment that he's still here. He watches you take a breath, relief almost washing over your face. "It's helping a little." Jason nods his head. "Maybe you and Bruce were right about it." Jason lets out a soft chuckle.
"I'm usually right about most things." You smirk right back at him. "I'm glad you're going and that it's helping." You smile softly at him, genuinely relieved he decided to go back. "You look really good, Jay."
"So do you." Jason whispers softly.
The words "I miss you" choke through Jason's throat, shredding the flesh into pieces. They get stuck and seep into the open wounds, reabsorbing themselves right into his flesh as the blood drowns them from ever coming to the surface. Before, you always told each other you missed each other but something about the words now feel too weighted. There's too much emotion tied to them. There are too many feelings tugged onto every single letter. The words will never be simply platonic again because how can they be?
He misses the way your hand would run through his hair after he's had a nightmare. And the way you'd kiss his head lazily before you'd eventually fall asleep. He misses the way you'd tell him you love him as if it's the only words you'd ever known and how even when they were said lazily and with sleep still in your eyes, they all weighed the same. It always meant the same. He misses being able to tell you everything and being able to expose his worst parts to you without ever being judged. And how your hand fit perfectly in his and the way you'd warm up her hands with her powers before rubbing out the knots in his back. He misses how you'd kiss him and immediately start smiling as if it is the one thing that would make you happy even on your worst day.
He misses the way you were allowed to love each other.
You almost pick up your hand and run it through the white streak of hair just to mess with it. You almost do but catch yourself. Maybe if you were still friends who had talked over the last month, you would have but not now. You don't want to invade his personal space. Jason has always been a bit skittish. You remember some of the first times you stepped into his space, touched him in ways he didn't seem to expect. He'd freeze, his entire body would tense as if you were going to hurt him even if all you did was rest your hand on his cheek. Over time, he'd relax but you remember that and it breaks your heart. You wonder if he'd freeze like that again or if he'd relax eventually.
"So," You pull in a breath. "This is officially your new place?" You ask as you look around the room.
"Yeah," Jason chuckles, his eyes still locked on you. "Did ya want a tour?" Jason offers.
"Yeah, actually that'd be cool." You laugh softly as Jason stands up.
He shakes his head and then offers you his hand on purpose. "Come on." Jason jerks his head.
You look at his hand and then back his eyes. Your hand goes into his as you get up. He drives you crazy and maybe this isn't the cat-and-mouse game you always played but you offer it anyway, for old times' sake.
"Shithead." You mutter once you're to your feet and your hand is back at your side.
Jason laughs this soft laugh that feels the way the first 'I love you' does. "Babe." Jason says back, for old times' sake.
The two of you start the tour. It's not a house. It's an orphanage that closed down years ago. You find it a bit ironic this is one of the places he picked but you keep it quiet. So, Jason leads you around, showing you some of the rooms and explains some of the things he wants to do. He wants one of them to be a library because of course he does. Another room he wants to dedicate solely to a kitchen and another to a training room, weight room, monitor room like the Batcave. There's another one he wants just for a shooting range to keep it all contained. You swear he has it all figured out. And then you get to his bedroom, last on the tour because it was furthest away from where you started.
You nod your head, looking at the bookcase. "Makes sense." You point to it. "I'm glad you don't have to hide it." You nod your head at him with a soft smile, the scrapbook page you made him for his birthday does not go unnoticed on top of the bookshelf.
Jason looks to the floor, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "Yeah, it's nice." Jason looks around with a subtle smile.
"I really like it, Jay." You say honestly. "Do you like it?"
Jason looks around some more feeling a sense of warmth and and pride in his chest. "Yeah, I do." Jason nods. "It's not the manor or anything."
"You always said the manor wasn't the real you anyway. This the real you?" You ask.
Jason pulls in a breath, his eyes still scanning around the room. He isn't sure if it's all him, really. It's hard to tell these days what's really him and what's leftover from his previous life. It's hard to tell if those two things can bleed into one or if the past him died with the crowbar. He likes to think this will be the real him. Better. But, you always knew him better than anyone, sometimes better than he knew himself.
"You tell me." Jason shrugs softly as his eyes land back on you.
"I think so." You give him a tender smile. "Simple, repurposing something left to rot. Making it into something good. I think it's very you. And I do not think it is a coincidence that there are empty rooms." You offer him a cheeky smirk with a soft laugh. "Expecting guests at some point."
Jason chuckles as his cheeks start to burn. "Shut the fuck up." Jason glances to the floor and then back to you before he gestures a hand out. "You planning on needing a place to stay?" Jason quips.
"If you're offering." You quip back and you watch him shift his weight to his right leg before rolling his shoulders.
Jason's heart skips a beat right into his throat. "What? Bored of Molly already?"
"Nah, just fun to fuck wit you, still." You tease him with a toothy grin.
"Right." Jason scoffs but a smile is on his face, maybe his heart sinks a little even if he knew it was a joke to begin with.
The room falls silent and something about this doesn't feel right. It's weird not living together with no thought of ever living together again. You've always been just fine on your own and you love living with Molly but it's always Jason you wish were there when you get home. Missing him has become routine but not in a way you ever get used to. Missing him is just there, all the time. It's exhausting missing him.
"Might have to take up the offer though when I get hurt." You clear your throat, tugging your sleeves down. Jason's brows furrow at you. "Molly fusses over it."
"You planning on getting hurt anytime soon?" Jason asks as concern washes over his face.
"No." You scoff. "I just mean...ya know?" You shrug your shoulders.
Molly isn't squeamish. She never has been, not from what you remember prior to your mom dying. But, you got hurt your first week living with Molly and it really wasn't anything. It was just a long cut, not too deep, won't even scar. But, Molly fussed over it and there was a lot of blood. You aren't too oblivious to know why Molly suddenly fusses over blood. You just can't tell Jason that, it's not fair to him.
"It's Molly, she worries." You brush it off.
Jason nods his head with understanding, sensing there's something more but he chooses not to dig. "You're always welcome to stay." Jason pulls in a soft breath with a subtle smile.
"Thanks, Jay." You give him a small and shy smile.
"Of course." Jason says softly and he decides to leave it there. "Wanna keep waiting for Tim? Check on him?"
"We should. If something happens, Dick will kill us." You laugh softly.
"Yeah, we aren't fighting for once, don't wanna get back there." Jason chuckles as the two of you head back to his current training room.
The two of you take your seats beside each other. You get a text from Molly letting you know everything with Tim seems okay from where she's sitting. So, the two of you wait on the monitors, figuring he'll be fine. Nothing too bad has been going down around Harbor anyway.
A few hours later, Tim comes back looking quite a bit defeated. He greets the two of you before he heads off to change. Jason and you actually feel bad for him. He has so much hope of getting this done when there isn't anything to get done. You both entirely understand why Dick sent him on a fake mission. It makes perfect sense and in a way, it's teaching him he is not perfect. He won't win all of them and he can ask for help. That's when you both realize that is likely Dck's real point. You both can step it up.
Tim walks back in a few minutes later still looking a little defeated. The case is in one hand and his bo staff is in the other. He puts the case down against the wall and takes a place on the mat in the middle of the room. You let out a soft laugh. Apparently, part of being a vigilante is needing to train in order to work out frustration.
"Follow my lead." Jason whispers to you right before he gets up and heads over to the fridge while Tim is moving his staff through the air and between his hands.
"I asked everybody down on Harbor about this guy, Venta. And nobody's heard of him." Tim states in frustration, watching as Jason grabs a beer from the fridge.
"Must be in deep cover." Jason states, popping the cap from the beer, the cap clanking on the floor. You get up from your seat, moving to lean against the table that sits off to the side but in between the boys. "Or dead." Jason suggests before taking a sip from the bottle. Tim offers a simple glare to him, not liking the answer as he continues with his Bo staff. "You like that thing?" Jason asks, closing some of the distance between the boys. "Can you actually use it?" Jason stops about two feet in front of Tim.
Tim holds the staff over his right shoulder, facing Jason. This is his chance. "Why don't we go a few rounds and I'll show you?" Tim asks, almost seeming confident in his ask.
Jason looks to the floor, eying his beer and then he looks to you, a smirk on his face. Jason knows without a second thought that this is going to be fun for him, not so much for Tim. He raises his brows quickly before taking another sip on his way over to the table to put the beer down.
"You're going to regret asking that." You quip and you'd be lying if you said you didn't admit his confidence, even if unwarranted.
"What?" Tim asks, trying to conceal his sudden concern.
"You'll see." You laugh softly, crossing your arms over your chest.
Jason walks back over, the boys locking eyes on each other the whole time. You can't tell if Tim asked because Jason was Robin and he thinks it'll be fun and cool. Or if he asked for some training and now is regretting it because Jason was Robin and now Red Hood and he knows this will only end in pain.
Jason nods up at Tim. "One round." Jason states.
Tim takes up the challenge, taking a step back as he points the end of the Bo staff as Jason's chest. There's a very small and subtle smile trying to make its way onto Tim's face. Jason gives it a few seconds before smacking the bo staff right out of Tim's hands, sending it to the ground. Tim lets out a breath with a sudden jolt, almost defeat and even a little embarrassment covers his face.
Jason grins more to himself than anything. "Maybe two rounds." Jason states before looking over to you. "You wanna try?"
You push off the table, switching places with Jason while Tim picks up his staff. "Cool?" You ask Tim.
Tim nods a few times, trying to hide his excitement of getting to train with the both of you. "Yeah, we're good."
Tim takes a step back and this time, he holds the staff closer to himself, his grip tighter. His feet are planted better on the ground but you know he doesn't stand a chance. Tim doesn't expect sparring to be mean. But you trained with Jason who would kick someone while they were down just to make sure they're prepared for everything.
The staff is pointed at you and then Tim pulls it to the side quickly, about to use it to smack you with it in order to make the first move to not make the same mistake as last time. But you grab the end of the staff before it can even come close and in a quick and fluid motion, you yank it right from his hands, flipping the staff in your hands and pointing it right at his head.
"Alright." Tim lets out a sigh as you hand the staff back over.
"You need some help." Jason states, walking back over to you and Tim. "You're never gonna get this Venta guy if you can't even last a few seconds between us."
"There hasn't been a lot of time to train." Tim almost groans with the shake of his head.
"Yeah, I heard." You nod your head. "Gar told me. Well, you're here." You shrug your shoulders.
"Been a while since I sparred with anyone." Jason looks between you and Tim, something menacing behind his eyes.
"What'd you say, Tim?" You ask with a taunting grin.
"Wait, really?" Tim asks as his eyes go wide. "You guys will help?"
"Well, I don't want you to get killed." You state.
"Yeah, we're not trying to watch you sign your death certificate while you're here."
"Yeah, yeah, thanks." Tim beams with a large smile.
"I'm gonna change real quick, warm him up." Jason nods at you before he walks to the door.
"You guys are gonna help me?" Tim asks. "This is really cool. Thank you."
"You're a dork." You state, watching Tim chew his cheek. "It was so cool being trained by Robin though." You gush.
"He's not gonna go easy on me, is he?" Tim asks as he nods his head, realizing who he just signed up to train with.
You let out a cackle. "Fuck no. Jason doesn't go easy on anyone." You let out a laugh as you sit on the floor and start stretching.
Tim joins you and starts stretching. "How is this going to work with your combat thing?" Tim asks.
"I try to ignore it. It's actually a little easier to ignore now, like sparring with people I trust."
"You can ignore it?" Tim's brows furrow at you. "How's that work?"
"Eh, kind of it. It's not really ignoring it as just pretending like it isn't there. It's kind of hard to explain. I just noticed, even back at the Tower, it just wasn't as strong training with everyone. I don't know." You shrug softly.
Jason comes back a few minutes later, going to the back room where there's a jukebox. While Jason gets some music going, you and Tim get to your feet. Tim grabs his bo staff, moving it around again as if he's preparing. You watch over your shoulder at Jason.
He's gained a bit more muscle over the last month and a half. The shirt he's wearing fits him well, cutting just below his waist. The sleeves hug his biceps that you swear are bigger and it's tighter around his chest. Your eyes trail down to his sweatpants. There's no difference there but there was something about Jason in sweatpants that you found to be the most attractive.
Jason turns back around, catching you staring. Heat runs over his cheeks as he smirks back at you. It's cheeky and arrogant, just as it always is. You roll your eyes, turning back around. Jason walks over to you and Tim gets ready.
"Okay, give me what you got." Tim says with confidence, swinging the bo staff around fluidly.
Jason doesn't even let him finish the sentence before he yanks the bo staff from Tim with almost no effort and then smacks Tim on the side of the head, making him fall to the ground. You burst out laughing as Tim looks up at Jason with surprise.
"You rely too much on your toys." Jason states sternly. Tim gets back to his feet, holding his head. "Okay." Jason says calmly and he's starting to feel in his element again. "On three, I'm gonna attack. You ready?" Jason asks.
Tim gets his stance ready, a little wobbly on his feet. "Ready."
"One." Jason says and then immediately goes to smack Tim again but this time Tim blocks his arm only for Jason to kick Tim in the back of the knee, sending him right back to the ground.
"What the fuck." Tim says, quickly getting back on his feet. "You said three!"
"Yeah! The Riddler's not gonna count." Jason strikes right back.
Tim looks to you for help. This is completely different than how he's been training with Conner and Gar. With Gar, they count off and spar, Gar definitely seems to go easy on him with TIm's lack of experience. And to be fair, a lot of the training with Conner is Tim just hitting him with no effect at all. But, Jason really isn't going to play fair. Tim's only hope is that you will.
"No one out there is going to tell you when they're going to attack. You just have to know." You state, not willing to help. "You're a Titan today and we're here but you're gonna be on your own. You're going to be helpless one day. Learn today never to be helpless." You nod your head, taking your turn with him.
The two of you get into your stances. You know you won't be nearly as ruthless as Jason. You only have a few days to get Tim in shape to fight a demon but that doesn't mean you and Jason both have to be completely ruthless the whole time. You'll cut Tim some slack. He can take it anyway. He'll be fine.
You go to take a single step forward, making Tim try to attack and block first. But, you never finish the step. Instead, it only makes Tim come closer to you which makes you grab his arm and spin the two of you around, pinning his arm behind his back. Tim lets out a yell and you let go, going back to your stance.
"Ow." Tim groans at you.
"You're fine. It'll feel better in a minute." You smile back at him. "Come at me."
Tim does as told, trying to land a hit to your head but you block him before he ever gets close and then you kick him in the knee, just hard enough to send him to the ground. You look to Jason. Oh, Tim needs help.
"You told me to come at you." Tim groans. "I thought you were just gonna block."
"Yeah, no." You laughs softly. "Not happening."
"Because the Riddler's not gonna block." Tim almost mocks Jason.
"None of them are going to just block." You correct him. "Your turn, Jay."
Jason takes over again while you grab a Gatorade from the fridge, pulling out one for the boys, too. Jason actually starts teaching now, showing Tim how to properly block and when. He shows him different ways and the best ways. Tim does know some of the blocks, he's just not used to them quite yet which is a relief.
Once Tim seems steady there, you switch with Jason and instead, you block Tim. You show Tim how you do it and how quick it is for you. The thought behind it is that you're not the only one with this. If Tim runs into someone with this power, he needs to know how he's supposed to land a hit. So, that's his job. Watch you, and learn how you block and find a weakness in order to hit. That's what Jason did. Tim only gets somewhat close a few times before Jason and you switch again.
This time, Jason starts teaching Tim how to make contact. Again, Dick has shown Tim some defense which is a help but he hasn't had much time to practice. So, the boys work on that for a few minutes before Jason shows him a few more things. After a few minutes, you switch with Jason. You and Tim go back and forth for a few minutes before Jason decides to up more. You only have a few days to get Tim ready. Now, it's two against one.
"Come on, me against you two?" Tim groans.
You and Jason look between each other and you both shrug as if sharing the same brain.
"No." You both say.
"We're all against each other." Jason answers casually.
"You have to watch what we're both doing not only against each other but when we come for you. No teams. Every man for himself." You state.
The three of you take your positions before Jason gives the go-ahead. The three of you lunge for each other. You hit Jason first, knowing Jason would likely go for Tim first. Is it going a little easy on Tim? Sure. But, you know going all out isn't going to help him, not right now. So, you kick the back of Jason's leg first, giving Tim the opportunity to get one hit to his head. Jason is quick to fight right back, knocking Tim in the face before he turns around, nearly kicking you before you jump out of the way and land a second hit to Tim's chest.
The three of you keep this up for the next half hour. You and Jason try to divide your time between each other and Tim, making sure he's getting plenty of chances to not only try to take you both down but also block the both of you. You're both being careful not to go too hard but make sure you aren't going too easy either. The more you all go, Tim gets tired but he never gives up. About halfway through, Tim gets into his own rhythm, able to block more of you and Jason. He lands a hit to you once while you hit Jason and he hands just a handful of hits to Jason. It builds his confidence anytime he lands anything and blocks one of you.
After a half hour of sparring, the three of you take seats on the floor, bottles of Gatorade right beside all of you as your chests heave. Jason's eyes land on you with your messy hair and the bruise of your eye fading. You have the Gatorade to your lips and he sees the silver chain peaking out from the collar of your t-shirt. There's a bruise on your right bicep, that's more recent but it's not bad. And he watches as you smile and then laugh at Tim as Tim lays back, complaining that he might be dying. There's been something about your smile and your laugh that could make Jason smile even on his worst days. Maybe you are doing better. He really hopes you are. You look so happy.
You get up, Jason unable to peel his eyes away from you. He always loved the way you looked in sweatpants. You have on black joggers that hug your thighs just a little bit and pinch right at your ankles. Your t-shirt is shorter, cutting right at your waist and Jason can't stop staring. He swears you're fucking stunning.
You grab all of you a few of Jason's granola bars and when you turn around, Jason is staring at you. So, you look at the granola bars and then at Jason before you throw one right at his head. It bonks him, causing Tim to burst out into a fit of laughter.
"Something about needing to block or something?" Tim quips, barely finishing his sentence before you and Jason throw a granola bar at him. Tim flails trying to block them unsuccessfully.
You grab a few more before you take your seat back beside Jason, giving him a few granola bars, keeping some for yourself while Tim snacks on the ones the two of you threw at him. It's nice being able to get a little bit of a break. Jason is actually really enjoying this. It feels like old times and he's actually helping. Dick is trusting him to work with you and help make sure Tim is prepared to fight this big bad. That's a big compliment as far as Jason is concerned. And Tim seems to be enjoying himself even if you both are going hard on him. Jason always liked helping train the others and this is throwing him right back but in a good way where he's not bitter about it. He's just glad to help. He feels needed.
And it doesn't hurt that you're here and you're getting along. It feels different than it did before. But, it's really nice. You're both still laughing and you still think the same way. You're still on the same page with everything. It's just nice to be able to spend some time with you and check in on you. Jason has missed you more than words could ever describe and he wonders if you'll be able to keep this going once Tim leaves. He really hopes you can. And he watches you toss another bar at Tim with a smile and he decides, he will try. He'll try to keep this up after Tim leaves.
Just because Tim will leave, doesn't mean you and Jason have to go back to not talking. The not talking was the hard part but now that you are, it feels easy again. It feels like you don't have to give each other space the size of half the damn city. You can do this without having to sacrifice having each other in your lives. Jason decides as he watches you laugh, he's going to keep trying to have you in his life and he hopes you'll have him, too.
The three of them spar for another half hour before Jason teaches Tim more about his staff. Dick was the one who liked the bo staff and Jason wasn't much to rely on it but Bruce made him learn. Jason always thought it was because of Dick but he's realizing it was just preparation to be able to use anything and everything as a weapon just in case. So, you sit back and watch the two of them go back and forth.
Once they're done, Jason sends Tim off to shower first. Jason plops down in the chair beside you as you give him a soft laugh. He's been thinking through this whole training session that maybe you both can step up your game. Tim is going to need to experience based on what Jason has heard about Brother Blood.
"So," Jason clears his throat. "Penguin has a shipment of guns coming in tomorrow night." Jason states.
Your eyes narrow slightly, knowing Jason has an idea of some sort. "Does he?"
Jason nods his head as casually as he can. "Shouldn't be too hard. In and out kind of thing. Grab and leave."
"Uh, huh." You nod, turning to face him with a teasing grin. "Where ya going with this, Jay?"
"Could take Tim." Jason offers, casually before a smirk crosses over his lips as he crosses his arms. His eyes lock on yours. "Wanna?"
"You want us to take Tim on a mission to steal Penguin's guns?" You ask but you think it's a great idea. What better training than an actual mission of some sort?
"Good training. We can watch him and he can watch us. See how it's really done. Especially if he's going to be Robin." Jason offers with ease but he's thinking he really doesn't need to convince you.
A crooked smile creeps on your face. "You know I'd never turn down an opportunity like this." You laugh softly.
"Yeah?" Jason asks, hope in his voice.
"Hell yeah. It'll be fun anyway. I helped you and Bruce with Penguin a couple of times and like once it got a bit dicey. We'll be fine." You beam at him. "I miss fucking with Penguin."
"You would." Jason tilts his head back with a booming laugh and the void in his chest starts to not feel as hollow.
Your smile turns soft and warm with his laugh. You remember back at the tower and how he was treated. There was a lot going on that was bigger than him, bigger than you. But, you think about that and the general disdain everyone had for him at the time and you're watching him laugh now. You always wondered how anyone could feel anything but love for him. How could someone not be completely in love with him? Because you're sitting here feeling just as you always did around him.
You read once that studies suggest it takes three to six months to get over someone, which sounds a little miserable. It has not been even three months but it's been a month and a half and it feels like nothing even wavered in your feelings for him. You're just as in love with him today as you were sitting on the floor of the training room in San Fransisco and maybe that doesn't have to be a bad thing.
"You're having fun, aren't you?" You ask.
Jason grins back over at you. "It's not horrible."
"Uh-huh." You laugh as you shake your head. "Well, you look like you're having a good time." You shrug your shoulders at him as you chew the inside of your cheek. "And thanks to you, Tim will be great."
"Stroking my ego?" Jason quips back. "You get hit in the head too hard?"
"Shut up." You groan as you give him a gentle shove.
"Thank you." Jason laughs softly. "He'll be great because of you, too though, ya know?" Jason questions.
"Awww, now look who's being nice." You tease with the scrunch of your nose.
"I can be nice." Jason smirks right back at you.
"Yeah..." You let out a soft sigh. "You have your moments." You laugh softly as you check your phone. "Hey, uh.." Your brows furrow. "If we were done for the day, I was gonna head out." You pull in a breath, not really wanting to leave quite yet. "There are some people I wanna check up on before patrol tonight." You explain.
"Yeah, of course." Jason feels the disappointment cloud his chest. "I'll, uh, I'll call you if something goes down and text you the time." Jason nods, careful to let his disappointment show.
"Okay." You smile softly, ready to get the rest of the day over with so you can see him tomorrow. "I'll see you tomorrow, Jay."
"See you tomorrow." Jason smiles softly before you leave the room, allowing Jason to himself for the night.
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Tag List: @fairyofshampoo // @italiana-20 // @jasontoddsmentaldisorders // @purplerose291 // @lovelessamai //
@makaelaseresin // @lenidaslenchen // @mayfieldss // @ghostkingblake // @im-done-with-this-im-out //
@velvetskies // @lilylovelyxo // @cryinghotmesss // @yesimwriting // @vivian-555 // @stainedstardom //
@baebeepeach // @legend-o-zelda // @harleycao // @somehow-lovable-trash // @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx //
@deyja-the-duck // @jasontoddslover // @captainmarvels-blog // @totallynotkaibiased // @scarlovesyou //
@whydoyoucare866 // @littlemeowmeow1000 // @ginger24880 // @urmomsgayforme5 // @septixtrash //
@kplatzman // @killxz // @lovefks // @laurelthesimp // @strawberryforks //
@mxtokko // @kolpvii // @adorabluesposts // @jasontoddthings // @bbiaa420
#jason todd x reader#jason todd x you#red hood x reader#red hood x you#jason todd fanfic#jason todd fanfiction#titans fanfic#titans fanfiction#dc fanfic#dc fanfiction#penance
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Aaaaaahh I am once again thinking about the ending of ywam
It’s so freaking good, and I can’t thank you enough for this wonderful masterpiece of a story!! I love that things ended with so much room to still heal and nothing really felt forced (like the whole thing with Sheatiel’s wings, Uriel choosing to go back to Paradiso, Raphael being hesitant about Luci, etc etc). The characters still had a lot of things to work on and improve and get used to, which just made the ending feel more real. Like it could be an its own universe outside of its comic form because real life is like that too. It gives me all of the feels and sometimes I feel like I can’t express that outside of alakdhshakksdhshakskfhahskdgk [keysmash] lol.
(And also the fight scenes were cool. And the HUMOR (yes even the puns I loved those hehe).
Anyways, thank you again for creating one of my favorite stories ever of all time forever until the end of time endlessly forever ever. And good luck with the MRI stuff!! I hope that goes well /gen
ahhh thank you aurora! I'm glad you enjoyed the ending bc it's the type of endings I like too, where not every issue is 100% fixed and happy but the character(s) have progressed since the beginning.
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Hey! I see you're into fragile/higgs ship and caught myself quite like them too recently (tho i've been in DS fandom already for a year and mostly thought about them as a friends)
Just wondering why do you like them? Do you have any headcanons/interesting thoughts? I'm very curious 👀
Hi! First of all apologies for the wall of text you're about to get, but unfortunately you came knocking at my door after I spent nearly two months ruminating about this ship basically by myself sooo I'm dumping it all here
Well the short (lol) version is that in my first playthrough I mostly just absorbed the characters and storyline, but by the time I got to their final scene on the Beach I was like wait a minute... their whole shared storyline feels way too loaded for them to simply have been business associates, that shit is personal, even Higgs wanting to damage Fragile feels way too pointed to just be justified by "he was a turncloak with a secret agenda." Now, I'm not against a "they were simply close friends" interpretation, it works just as well to explain the emotional weight of their falling out, BUT I also cannot ignore the zest, the flavor, the spice of them actually having been involved romantically at some point. And honestly going into my second playthrough with the shipping goggles on I can't help thinking that Fragile speaks about Higgs like he was an ex that hurt her, and the way that she is suspiciously cagey about the specifics of their relationship makes my ears shoot up like a German shepherd.
On a Doylist level I also find it interesting that Kojima gave Higgs extra backstory that connects him to Fragile in the Director's Cut, and also how the behind the scenes for the DS2 mocap show Troy and Léa sharing a scene... I think Kojima is not done intertwining their story and we'll get more info in the sequel.
Now for the headcanons... I have enough that I might or might not be writing a long-ish fic about it, but I want to finish this Director's Cut playthrough before completing it (I could just look stuff up on the wiki but that's not fun). Also I have some art in the pipeline about it that I hope to post within the week. Anyway, the bite sized version of how I envision their relationship:
I hc Higgs as being immediately attracted to Fragile but not really acting on it, while she develops her attraction after getting to know him a little. Then she's down bad but she doesn't even realize it until it's so obvious it hits her in the face
A few people at their joint Fragile Express/whatever Higgs' operation was called co-op assume they are an item long before anything ever happens, because they just hang out together a lot. They have a similar penchant for corny jokes and puns and enjoy some light banter; Fragile finds Higgs' flair for theatrics endearing, while he is drawn to how gentle she is because he has known so little softness in his life (also he thinks she's insanely pretty, which duh. It's self evident because Léa Seydoux) (it's his first serious girl crush anyway; I hc him as bi and as having had mostly experiences with men before her)
They bond over their DOOMS condition and Higgs is fascinated by Fragile's powers, while she is less enthused by all the collateral effects. In my hc, at this point she has yet to become as skilled at traveling through dimensions as she is in the game, which makes her reluctant to agree to Higgs' requests to show him the Beach. This sows the seeds of his resentment towards her, because he feels she has a privilege she doesn't make use of and doesn't want to share.
They are both pretty touchy feely (canon!) so when their relationship goes from friendly to romantic it gets physical immediately and enthusiastically. Yes even accounting for the worldwide lowered sex drive. If there's one thing I never do is put characters in horny jail 🫡
I think Fragile got to know a version of Higgs that was quite different from what we see in the game, which you sort of can gauge from the more optimistic pages of his diary. Like there's a part of him who's starved for love and connection and a sense of belonging and gravitates towards people like Coffin (he never had a mother) and Fragile herself; ironically, the pull towards Amelie answers to the same need but in reality it feeds on his more nihilistic, call-of-the-void side. I'm not saying that Amelie brainwashed him or anything, but I think she saw what was already there – a deep seated resentment towards a hostile world and towards those he feels got handed a luckier deal than he did, that he countered by clinging to the notion of being special because of his DOOMS, but then there's someone like Fragile who's even more special and doesn't seem to be doing much with it. Amelie gave him a chance to fulfill what he felt was his potential and shared her power with him, but the tradeoff was severing the connections he had, "killing" the part of him that wanted to be loved to make space for what he perceived as a higher form of love ("I found someone who completes me" which he says to Fragile specifically like he wants to rub it in her face? Like she wasn’t enough to fulfill that role?)
That’s why I think it’s significant that he lost his hands with his power-up, because the (holding, welcoming) hands are strongly associated with Fragile; and to me it makes sense if he purposely ruins her body also because it’s a way to stifle his attraction to her. There’s also a lot of projection because HE is the one who’s felt like damaged goods all along, who grew up being crushed psychologically and physically. I also think that both of them coming close to annihilating the other but choosing not to – leaving them in a dicey situation but not entirely without escape – shows in some twisted way that their bond still exists, which makes me giggle and rub my hands like a nasty little goblin knowing we have another game coming.
So… That’s the gist of it. Sorry for rambling on but as I said, I don’t really get the chance to talk about this ship much – greetings from rarepair hell, etc.
#replies#death stranding#fragile x higgs#higgs x fragile#greetings from rarepair hell#embarrassing amounts of mental real estate have been allocated to this... The mental illness is in full display i fear#i dunno they just make so much sense. to me#and i just enjoy the inherent tragedy of it all because i love to make myself suffer
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I had a dream earlier in which I was scrolling Tumblr, and I came across the most gorgeous davekat nsfw art – like, absolutely stunning, tender (yet sexy) moments, perfect poses and camera angles, and so on – and they were posted by you! (Well, most of them were, the others were by biouxp)
And I remember starting to wake up, and my main thought was "oh no, I really hope that art was actually something I scrolled past as I fell asleep. I hope it wasn't all a dream!" (it was 😔)
Anyways, I want to thank dream you for making some absolutely banger art (pun intended), and to thank real you for making the real art that burrowed deep enough to make it to my subconscious apparently lol. Keep up the fantastic work!
LOVELY ANON, this gave some happiness that I didnt expect for today lol.
I would love to draw some DK nsfw soon (I need some privacy + expand my anatomy knowledge but I'm getting there, heh) and seeing that my art actually made someone DREAM IT, man, my younger self would not believe me if I told her that I could get all this love and appreciation from posting online :'3c ♥��💓💝💘💓💓💖💓💝💞💝💓 thank you so much 🫂🫂🫂🫂
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Hoo boy let’s hope mobile tumblr doesn’t accidentally delete this again anyways! (I had to retype this whole thing at least five times already TvT)
Anyways! Welcome to early Halloween and hiatus present; Ghost jokes/puns:
*steps up to microphone*
What sound do you hear if you explode a Ghost?
kaBOOm
How does a Ghost say goodbye?
“I can’t wait to seance you again”
What’s a Ghost’s favorite cheese?
Ghoul-da Cheese
What does Ghost say when he’s impressed?
“That was specter-cular!”
(He does not.
Shut up Donnie, it’s not like you would know
>:0
Boys, Boys stop fighting! I appreciate both of you.
Enough to call us specter-cular, Casper?
Well…)
A Ghost walks into a bar
He doesn’t notice
Why didn’t Ghost come back?
I guess he could see himself doing it
How should you greet a Ghost?
“Long time no see.”
Why are Ghosts so lonely?
They have no body to lean on.
(Is he crying?
Just let him have his moment)
I just realized my father is a Ghost
I realize the moment he walked through the door
What’s a Ghost’s favorite pizza?
Tomb-to and Cheese
How can you tell when a ghost is sad?
He goes boo-hoo
(Can confirm he does lol
Yep sounds like him
And then he goes to mope his cot for hours
Pls children stop bullying me :( )
What happens when a Ghost gets lost in the fog?
He gets mist
(Oh wow Wrinkly old me, is really breaking out the water works for this one… is he okay?
I guess you might have mist the point!
Leo >:/ )
What’s a ghost’s favorite element?
Boo-on
(…Why did you all just turn to me?
Well is it?
Is what?
Is it your favorite element?
No.)
Why did the Ghost get released from his charges?
They couldn’t pin him to anything
Why do Ghosts make such terrible liars?
They fall right through the bed
Mmmm yes halloween/ghost puns
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Hope you don't mind me randomly dropping into your asks but since you asked me in the tags if I've started watching Supernatural I decided to send you an update on my spn (and wincest/destiel) journey.
I've now (re)watched s1 and started s2, and some of the thougs I had when I last watched it have returned to me. I started watching it 9 years ago (quit in the beginning/middle of s8) bc I thought Destiel would be like Johnlock which I loved, but I was disappointed bc I felt that the fandom had hugely overhyped how big Castiel was as a character. I even found an old tweet of mine saying that while I do somewhat ship Destiel it's the most overrated ship I know of. I also remember feeling weirdly like the canon WANTED me to ship wincest which I, still 17 and Pure in my Moral Fandom Opinions did not want to do. I also found a tweet from me saying that Wincest is a ship I'd never ship. Anyway.
My current diagnosis is: yeah the canon does want me to ship it. I don't know what to make of it. I keep comparing it to Defan which is so interesting bc I feel like (headcanonically) Defan wants each other despite being brothers, and the brothers part just adds a level of twistedness. Wincest on the other hand wants each other BECAUSE they're brothers. Their dynamic is like, Incestuous with a capital I. And more emotionally so, like levels and levels of weirdness that is so even without being sexual, but I do think the sexual level is easy to add. But so far I'm very interested in their dynamic but I don't Ship it, more like. Observe whatever is going on. It feels too weird to read fanfics or anything about so far bc as I said, it's so deeply incestuous. Not to say I wont, but for now those are my thoughts on it.
Also I've been an outside observer of the spn fandom for years now, and I don't want to pick sides with Destiel vs Wincest, just observing the fandom is funny enough. But tbh I'm afraid sooner or later I'll get sucked into it bc supernatural fandom seems like. The hellpit of tumblr. Pun intended and all the love to the spn fans who continue keeping me entertained.
omg hi friend! So happy you decided to send me an ask and I'm glad you're enjoying yourself with spn so far!
LOL, the part about spn wanting you to ship wincest is so funny to me. Eric Kripke, the creator of season 1-5 (and cowriter of some episodes after that as far as I'm aware) once said: "Turns out I have a thematic which is tight relationships between friends/brothers with unstated homoerotic subtexts." in reference to spn, so yeah. There's that, haha.
I can definitely see the defan comparison! I think both can be equally fucked up at times but with wincest it's.... definitely more emotional. Also fun that you picked up on the emotional incestous undertones with wincest, haha. We a two whole set of tags for that:
I love this fandom so much, hah. Let yourself be dragged into the pit, ezra, we have so much content!
#wincest#weirdcest#ask#defan#spn#also#did you see i posted that defan fic i was talking about?#I gifted it to you#haha#thanks for the ask!
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HOWDY! *slams pile of papers on the desk* i have Inquiries. OKAY SO-
1.) i know the bridge between infurno and purrgatorio is Ali realizing they cant leave, so like, whats pawradisio???
2.) wtf happens ta Ali durin the 'age ???' section of their design timeline. what type cult stuff do they get involved w and how. its haunting me i needa know
3.) whats with the 3 year memory erasing thing in that one ali purrgatorio relationship chart. Really funny chart ive shared it w a few friends but also im staring intently at it like Huh What O_O
4.) what is mymk's final form? is it gonna be written, a comic, etc?
5.) got any music you associate w any mymk characters/ali? besides like, in canon reasons like Chrome more like any songs/artists/lyrics that remind u of anya em :0??
anyway yeah huge fan! also hope ur vacation's fun!
Hehe hi :)
1. We shall get there when we get there <3 my lips are sealed. Though I will say, there are further books by Dante one can animal-pun the titles of... Though they aren't part of the divine comedy..... (Alludes vaguely to plans that will inevitably take me years)
2. Okay so spoilers for Creature Feature, Ali's home setting (and @samhainian's thing) (because this is all a bit of an open secret) but Ali is, as I've alluded to previously, an Antagonist.
Creature Feature is a real world adjacent setting, set in our modern day, only with all manner of monsters and cryptids living secretly alongside humans. Ali lives in Wraithbrook, a hidden town populated primarily by monsters (albeit, most everyone still upholds a disguise, just in case). Being a (very) small town with an effectively captive population.... The post-high-school ennui tends to set in bad for people. Hope you enjoy the family businesses, kids.
So... This leaves the listless vulnerable. And boy is Ali a bit malleable. A trusted figure in their life takes advantage of this, part of an accellerationist group looking to break these confines, having singled them out as candidate for their most recent attempt to mold a magic user into a weapon to shatter the veil. And, well, if you've got a self-hating isolated guy who is predisposed to a bit of Catholicism already... Why not utilise the concept of the antichrist? They will be bringing a world together, in a way... And when you've been around as long as some immortal librarians have, doing a little bit of time dilation in the later stages of indoctrination isn't thaaaaat hard... Sooooo....
(But don't worry. They get better. Eventually. At least they look it. Everything is A-OK!!!)
(as for if purrgatorio is canon to this timeline....? Yes! But in a fucked up way! Can't make it too easy for the little guy....)
3. Okay so I was coy literally a sentence ago but yeah purrgatorio is set dead on like.. at the exact same time MYMK proper *should* start. Thus, it cannot exist at the same time as the main story... Ali's narrative powers keep them from being subsumed by the universe and just becoming a funny animal themselves.
But should a time come where Ali is *gone*, and the world is similar enough to the moments before they arrived? Well, the narrative can just pretend the time hasn't passed! Just, don't think too hard about your count of how many Halloweens and Christmasses you've had doesn't really line up....
(A normal person would simply name Purrgatorio noncanon, but hey, if Ali's whole thing is that they manipulate reality like a Narrative... Well. May as well use it! So once canon is over for both parties, things can start creeping back in. It's needlessly overcomplicated but I'm having fun)
4. Written with illustrations! An Online picture book, I suppose. I was initially damning myself to a comic, but after playing in the space with Purrgatorio, I realised I prefer prose. I'll probably write the thing in whole and then release it bit by bit as I work on the illustrations? I have a working outline as of right now and it's not a super long story lol. But its likely going to come after some practice with smaller projects like my reworking of Hazeclan and maybe Damonquest (name pending) (the latter featuring a cut main character of mymk lol)
So! ETA: a while. But we stay silly
5. OKAY.... so I can't link character playlists sadly since they don't exist (..... Yet.) and I'll stick primarily to our at present Purrgatorio cast.
I am like. Famously bad with identifying songs (<- usb stick full of songs on shuffle in the car as a kid) but I have been trying to put thought into this recently (my gold standard for this being my friend @teddymedley who's so good with character songs I did ask him for some vibe checks for this even)
So these are messy and some are like, inherited from earlier drafts of the characters so can be a bit off but I'll give a handful and their reasonings. (No links or embeds though I'm on mobile and Tumblr might eat my visibility if I do. I'll reply with some though)
[Ali Alighieri]
1. "Here comes the flood" by the Divine Comedy (self explanatory really, that animatic will exist someday I promise. This is THE big one to me, but @samhainian may have a different top spot opinion lol) Bonus: it has a demo version that also fucks supremely
2. "All the angels (demo)" by MCR. (Ali is not the MCR sibling, they're the P!ATD sibling. But I don't listen to panic lol)
3. "If you could save yourself you'd save us all" by Ween (peak "sorry what was that line just there?" song)
4. "In the meantime" by Spacehog (I like Spacehog. Everyone gets a spacehog song yaaay)
5. "Here comes the sun" cover by Ghost (not their style of music at ALL and you KNOW they're contrarian about the Beatles, but grim irony is such a vibe here)
[Chromium Mono]
1. "Manicure" by Lady Gaga (this is such a flippant "because I said so" choice lol)
2. "Let it grow" by Renaissance (this is such a nice cheesy song. I like to think of this as speaking to the actual nice loving guy chrome can be when he's not being a prickly bitch)
3. Kissing Ancaps by Patricia Taxxon (... GOD this song is way too cool or smart for chrome lol. It's a chrometab song to me because of the big words and cynicism. It's too modern and online for them but I'm attached to it... Also it contains a sample from let it grow)
4. "Run away with me" by Carly Rae Jepsen (more vibes based! Love some ms jepsen. But at least has a coherent theme wrt to eloping lol)
Bonus: oh god I really have to finish the voiceclaim video I was making. Premiere kept melting on me but I should probably let the world know chrome sounds like Donald Glover huh. The marshall lee to live action Simba pipeline.....
Bonus 2: @teddymedley suggested "Ratchet" by Bloc Party, with the phrasing "subject matter younger chrome sound older chrome" which I like!
[Tabitha Boss]
1. "Cable Rat King" by Gem Milsom (this one genuinely feels like a solid choice to me. It's polite and tentative and about depressive spirals, and is from the same album as the Number One Main Labyrinthine song, Pipes. That animatic will exist someday too I promise)
2. "This too shall pass" by OK GO (Preferably the brass band version. I think Tabitha would adore their videos, he'd be delighted by the moving parts and generally light tone. Also, Labyrinthine has a different "this too shall pass", being by Danny Schmidt)
3. "When will you die?" By TMBG (goofy song. But you get it.)
4. "Zeroes" by Spacehog (Spacehog again 👍)
Bonus: Jimmy buffet discography. He is living on island time baby
Bonus 2: @teddymedley assigned "Happy Hour" by Eels and I think the strange upbeat lethargic energy fits
[Lavender Wafeu]
Lavender is really funny because I honest to god don't think she listens to much music. This means I barely associate music with her apparently.
However @teddymedley did suggest "Black Rainbows" from Hawaii: Part 2, and I think that's better than any of my previous notes. Those previous notes being entirely the words "Little shop of horrors". She, Knives and Mafioso do also share an association with "Panda Hero" by Hachi but that's more visual to me?
I have however begun associating some Zelda OST tracks with her though... Hmmm....!
[Markus Felidae]
This poor bastard has shed and gained characterisation recently enough to have shook the MCR out of their system.... I don't have all that much for them.
Now. Hm. I think I'd have to go with some very on the nose musical tracks? My mind immediately goes to the opening track to Disney's Notre Dame, and maybe like, Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer from Cats? These are such dreadful picks lol. Sorry buddy, characterisation overhaul syndrome. They probably also would listen to P!ATD same as Ali though so do with that what you will.
Bonus: in Markus' earliest iteration over 10 years ago..hrm. long story short, 121 guns is so fucking unfitting but it's lodged there forever lol
[Lupus Felidae]
Lupus is associated in my head with the kind of dub anime opening best codified by 4kids era Pokémon. Like the ideal song here is that one from Yugioh. "No matter what"? That kind of cheese and boyish power of friendship. "OK!!" From the JP endings of anipoke goes here too it's cute to me.
"I can go the distance" from Disney's Hercules is also up there for the same vibes. She's just silly and having fun!
Bonus: "Don't let's start" by TMBG is a Miao song to me, but in relation to her family. So it's also Lupus and Markus' by association.
[Ess Somil]
The idea of an ess playlist is hysterical to me. I feel like it's a Mother 3 battle theme in that man's head all the time. What's your time signature boy.
Anyway, "Numbers" by Neil Cicierega. Since it is overwhelming enough of a soundscape. Or just "Doctor Worm" by TMBG. For that they live in the soil.
.... And that's probably enough!!! This ask is very long now! Sorry it took a while to answer lmaooo. I've been very busy but it's been nice to chip away at during my downtime! Thank you so much for the questions :)
#lucabytetalks#oc questions#idk how to tag this! um!#guess ill put some relevant oc tags lol#ali alighieri#Purrgatorio#mymk#thank u so much and sorry about the wait and lack of embeds!#ill reblog with a collection of links later....? oh topic channels my detested#colours added to break up the big ol paragraphs
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Can you write an angsty fic with Thomas Raggi? Like him and the reader are together and fighting about something like Thomas is jealous, or he did something bad (but not cheating something that's lighter) and maybe they don't speak for days and the maneskin members are talking with them separately and they tell that both of them are not doing well and the and is all fluff!!! Thank you so much xx
I'm so sorry it's taken so long!! I've been going through some stuff recently so my writing is even less regular than normal lol. Anyway, thank you for the ask, i hope you like it! :)
Mistakes and Misunderstandings
Thomas Raggi x Reader
Warnings: none.
Word Count: 1.2k
A/N: I'm sorry if it's kinda crappy, I haven't really edited as I'm so tired :)
“She was flirting with you!” You cried, watching your boyfriend's exasperation grow with the fight you were currently having.
“That's not my fault!” Thomas screamed back as you stalked out of the kitchen to the living room, hair flying behind you in a wild rage.
It had been a long, tough night, but the kicker was the sight in front of you when you were early to meet your boyfriend after an interview; Thomas, leaning in, laughing, hand on this girl's shoulder, with the interviewer's hand on his thigh. Thomas said something you didn't hear, still smiling, and rubbed then tapped the hand the interviewer had on him, in an attempt to get her hand off without seeming rude.
“No, no you were flirting back,” you replied accusingly, full of venom.
“I can't deal with your jealous bullshit right now,” Thomas said, bringing his hands down from his head fast, putting as much meaning into the gesture as the words.
“Or is it just that you can't deal with me?” you whirled around to face him, voice icy and lowered. “Because you're not denying flirting with her.”
“You know that's not what I'm saying.” Thomas replied, equally icy in tone.
“Then what are you saying?”
“Don't do this.” Thomas said softly.
“Right. 'Course. You know, I've had enough,” You said, grabbing your handbag. “Come find me when you know what you wanna say.”
The door was slammed shut.
It had been a few days since you and the guitarist had spoken to each other, too caught up in your own feelings to stop and consider the truth: that you were just scared to lose each other.
You sighed once more, swirling the spoon in your steaming mocha.
Vic groaned.
“Ugh, come on!” Vic groaned, dramatically rolling her eyes at you. “It has been days since you spoke to him! Why can't you just say, 'hey, I still love you, asshole' and break the ice already?”
“Because he needs to apologise first! He was basically cheating on me, Vic!”
“Honey, don't you think you're being just a little bit jealous?” Vic asked, one eyebrow raised.
Your face flushed as you turned away from your best friend. “No.” You grumbled into your shoulder.
“I'm sorry, what was that?” She leaned closer.
“OK, OK, fine! So maybe I got jealous. Maybe I got worried because some sexy interviewer had her hand on my boyfriend's thigh. Maybe I get worried that I'm not exciting enough and he'll get bored of me. Maybe I get worried that he'll rock and roll himself away from me.”
Vic snorted at your only semi-intentional pun.
“I'm serious!” you said, though giggled a little too. “He could have anyone, they just throw themselves at him. And he wasn't stopping her.”
“How do you know know that.” Vic asked gently.
“He put his hand on hers.”
“And then?”
You opened and closed your mouth multiple times, a fish out of water.
“And then I walked away! He rubbed her hand and patted it and I couldn't bare it anymore! I- I couldn't stand the thought of seeing if he kissed her.”
“You know he would never do that.” Vic shook her head.
“Then why didn't he say so?” You looked up at her with pleading eyes.
“Because maybe he was scared you wouldn't believe him, and he doesn't want to lose you either.”
You didn't know it, but half an hour away Thomas and Damiano were having a very similar conversation.
“What if it's all too much for her? I can't control other people's actions, but I don't want to get mad at interviewers and damage our band.”
“Thomas. Amore mio,” Damiano wiggled his eyebrows, earning him a small chuckle, “If somebody is doing something inappropriate and you are uncomfortable, you can tell them to fuck off. Go to hell. Whatever you want. The fans aren't going to leave because you stood up for yourself.”
“What about Y/N? How do I know she'll believe me?”
“Trust,” Damiano emphasised the word with a jut of his chin, then held Thomas' head in both hands and looked him deep in the eyes. “You love her, yes?”
Thomas nodded.
“And she loves you, no?”
Another nod.
“Then you have to trust that she'll believe you. She's probably just scared of losing you.”
“What if I'm the one that's scared of losing her? Being too much? I know she gets jealous, she's been hurt before.” Thomas looked away from Damiano.
“If it's love, you'll never be too much. And she'll never be too little. Now,” Damiano gave a gentle slap to Thomas' shoulder, “grow some balls and talk to her! This silence is silly.”
“You're right. Even if I stay mad, I shouldn't stay silent.” You told Vic, pulling out your phone. Just as you did, it buzzed.
Thomas.
Speak of the devil! Your face lit up.
“Oh that was so Thomas, huh?” Vic questioned. You didn't respond, reading the text too fast.
I'm sorry I hurt you, Y/N. Will you see me and let me explain? Xx
Of course, you write back.
The next day, Thomas was at your house, with your favourite chocolate and flowers.
“Thomas!” You gasped, seeing the arrangement. “Thank you,” you said, hugging him with such force he jolted.
“It's just some flowers and chocolate, Y/N/N.” Thomas said with a small laugh.
“Yeah, but also thank you for texting first. Sorry, I shouldn't have given you the silent treatment, it was childish.” You said, guilty face and red cheeks.
“Takes two, my love. I'm sorry too.” Thomas walked inside, and turned around. “There's something I want to tell you.” He had your full attention.
“Yes?” You replied too fast, full of hope.
“I love you. You know that. And I will never tire of you. I will never replace you, nor could I even think of it. Just thinking about your smile makes me smile! I swear, you'll never lose me.... That is, if you'll still have me?” You opened your mouth to talk but he kept on rambling. “And nothing happened, with me and... the reporter,” Thomas said, forgetting her name. “Frankly, I was getting uncomfortable, and ended up faking another appointment to get away from her.”
“Oh honey, why didn't you tell me?” you asked, with a surprised laugh.
“Because I was scared you wouldn't believe me.”
“I'm so sorry, I never meant for you to feel like that. I will always believe you. I trust you with my whole heart. I love you. And you won't get rid of me so easily,” you pulled a face, “even if I get a bit pissy.”
With a small laugh, Thomas draw you in by the waist, and looked at you lovingly before brushing a small lock of hair from behind your face.
“There you are, my light.” And with that his lips met yours, and all was as it should be.
Taglist: @fandomfoodiedancer @smiling-girl @niche-bitch @fedorable-killjoys @charlie-rulerofhell as always please let me know if you want to be on or off the taglist!
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Oh what the hell. Smash or pass: Rourke for Doomsday. (Rourke does not know I'm doing this, lol. Mun is evil, X3. This is for mun's amusement because the other responses she gave looked fun)
Send Smash or Pass + a name and my muse will say if they would smash or pass on that person.
Doomsday is peeking at Rourke through the blinds of one of the offices, hoping she is being surreptitious enough that he doesn't notice. However, as soon as his eyes move in her direction, she scrambles away, the pair of plastic blinds she was holding open flapping closed together with a little tltltlt! noise as she slips down the wall, hoping he didn't see her.
She shoots a glare in Hal's direction, her face glowing a bright, neon red, almost enough to call customers over through the window.
She hopes Rourke doesn't notice the glow emanating from the room and come over to take a look.
"Your fault. Your fucking fault, you asshole," she whispers loudly to Hal. "You just had to go and ask this question, didn't you? You couldn't leave well enough alone, could you? And you just had to ask while he was standing right friggin' there! Argh!"
Doomsday rakes both hands down her face, which only succeeds in smudging up her glasses and then pulling them off her face, which only exposes more of her embarrassed glow.
She leaves the glasses in her lap and replaces them with her hands.
"Don't look at me! I'll answer your question, but don't look at me!" she says from behind her hands. "The answer is SMASH, okay? SMASH. But- under one condition! One, teeny tiny condition... It'd have to be a threesome with Milo. LET ME EXPLAIN! Right? Let me explain that! I know you're probably looking at me all bug-eyed right now! So for fuck's sake let me explain! Rourke and Milo are a pair. They've always come as a- hahaha, come- hahahaha, pun there, ahahahaha- Okay, back to what I was saying, anyway, like I was saying, they're a pair, I can't smash one and not the other, and truth is, I love them both, I really care about them both, and so, I'd smash them both, and I would never, like I said, smash one and not the other, so both at the same time, or neither."
Doom shifts, picking up her glasses, but not putting them back on - she just keeps her hands over her face, as if that is going to protect her from Hal's reaction somehow.
"So! There's your answer! React however you must! But I will not apologize!"
Her final proud remark is marred by the presence of her hands still pressed over her eyes, though.
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I would love to see Barbatos with the lemon stealing whore prompt. He's the one who owns the lemon tree and will NOT tolerate and whores stealing his lemons (those are for his tea)
A/N: This is the worst thing I've ever written btw. You've been warned... (but like thank you for sending this in bc this was the prompt I wanted to do the most lol). But like damn the whole time I was like "am I really writing this? To share? Publicly?" ... Anyway. This is really bad. Sorry.
Part of my cheesy porno drabbles event (requests closed)
If you haven't seen the lemon stealing whore porno... I'm sorry.
Lemon tree owner!Barbatos x GN!MC x lemon stealing whore!Beel
🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞
Tw: reading this will probably make your life worse, sexual content but not sexy in the slightest, crack smut, anal (Beel receiving), MC gets penetrated (anal or vaginal unspecified), spit as lube, reads like a shitty porno (pun intended), somewhat ooc bc I prioritized honoring the source material, dom!Barb / sub!Beel
I cannot emphasize this enough: DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT
-
"I love our lemon tree." Barbatos sighed contentedly as you leaned against his shoulder. You sat on a bench under the tree, gazing into the gardens in front of you.
"It was so nice of Diavolo to let us plant it here." You smiled in the shade. There was a soft breeze that rustled the leaves. "I guess we couldn't collect insurance on it, though."
"As long as we have these delicious lemons for my tea, I don't mind." Barbatos had an arm wrapped around your shoulder, although it was warm out the two of you didn't get many opportunities to be together like this.
Neither of you noticed the presence behind you, the sounds of nature and your blissful chat drowned out the sound of their movements. Beel had climbed the fence around the castle gardens and was now raiding the lemon tree. He was wearing nothing but a yellow leotard, picking up lemons from the ground behind you before cautiously reaching for some from the tree.
As Beel picked the lemons, he dropped them into his leotard for later. His mouth watered but he resisted the urge to bite into one, knowing he might eat the whole tree if he got started.
"Have you heard about the lemon stealing whores?" You asked Barbatos, looking up at him.
"Yes, Diavolo warned me about them." Barbatos frowned. "I just hope that being on the castle grounds is deterrence enough... I would hate to have to punish one."
"How do you do that?" You tilted your head, hearing the rustling of leaves behind you. Beel had meanwhile continued to shove lemons into his leotard.
"They respond best to anal." Barbatos glanced at the rustle he heard behind him, devastated to see his worst fears come true. A lemon stealing whore, in the flesh.
"Hey! Those are our lemons!" He stood and pointed at Beel.
"A lemon stealing whore!" You stood as well, shocked to see him.
"What lemons?" Beel had a lemon in each hand which he promptly dropped. You could clearly see the lemons in his leotard, bulging unnaturally around his crotch and hips.
"Those are ours!" Barbatos stormed over to him, roughly pushing the lemons out of the leotard's leg holes. Despite Beel's strength, Barbatos' speed allowed him to swiftly pull his wrists together, preventing Beel from getting away. He sighed in frustration.
"Beel? I didn't know you were a lemon stealing whore." Barbatos hissed. "You know what the punishment is, right?" Beel's eyes widened before he looked at the ground, littered with his contraband lemons.
"Answer the question." You chimed in, hands on your hips.
"A-anal..." Beel stammered.
"Good." Barbatos smacked his ass before adjusting the crotch of his leotard out of the way, slowly trailing his fingers around Beel's hole.
"Anything I can help you with?" You asked, ready to jump in.
"Yes." Barbatos spit on his fingers, prepping Beel's ass for his cock. "Just hold him in place while I..." Barbatos slowly pushed a finger into him, making Beel whimper. You quickly grabbed onto his arms and he leaned against you, almost like he was here for the punishment and not the lemons.
Barbatos was a bit rough with Beel, pushing him (and you) to the bench you were previously sitting on. Beel ended up on top of you, with Barbatos right behind him as his ass was finally ready to take him. Barbatos slowly pushed himself into Beel and you watched as his expression twisted into one of pleasure.
You couldn't really focus on restraining Beel with him on top of you. Not only was he big and definitely in the advantageous position here, but he was nestled between your legs and you could feel the bulge his leotard strained to keep contained. Beel seemed to have no interest in getting away, moaning lightly as Barbatos began to fuck him.
Beel's cock rubbed against your clothed sex to Barbatos' rhythm, finally popping out of one of the leg holes of his leotard. You could feel his full length now, heat pulsing within you as you admitted to yourself that you wanted him inside you.
"You wanna cum, you whore?" Barbatos hissed into Beel's ear.
"Wanna feel... MC..." Beel whimpered into your neck. It was clear he was already close.
"You want MC?" Barbatos chuckled before tearing through your clothes. "Go ahead. We're going to fuck your little lemon stealing obsession into oblivion."
"Barbatos!" You gasped, feeling Beel's bare cock against your sex.
"It's the only way we can save him... And protect our lemon tree." Barbatos ran a hand along your cheek and pressed a kiss to your lips over Beel's shoulder before fucking into him harder.
Beel urgently pushed his cock into you, at the mercy of Barbatos' pace. He groaned, fucking into you as Barbatos fucked into him. Beel was huge, filling your hole completely as you felt him ram into you. Your walls were so tight around him he nearly came just from your heat.
"You ready to cum yet, lemon thief?" Barbatos hissed, increasing his pace.
"Y-yes, please!" Beel whined. As Beel started fucking you faster. You could feel your arousal reaching its peak as Beel's cock relentlessly pounded into you. Even though it was Beel fucking you, Barbatos' pace was unmistakeable. You moaned as pleasure flooded your sex.
You felt yourself tighten around him, a few thrusts away from cumming in the castle gardens.
"Not inside." Barbatos commanded, pulling Beel further from you until his cock slid out of you. Moments later, Beel came all over your stomach, writhing with pleasure as Barbatos continued to thrust into him.
Although you were disappointed that your pleasure was interrupted, Barbatos always made sure your needs were met.
"We're far from done here." He growled, smacking Beel again before allowing him to rest in you again, his cock already stiffening again between your thighs. "Not until you're begging to replace our damaged lemons."
#i thought about removing Beel's leotard but i wanted a way to remind everyone (myself) that this is silly and bad and not sexy#but i mean. no judgement if you're into... -gestures at writing- that#this is probably the funniest thing I've ever written though. literally laughing as i write it#uhh not using fandom tags. the one post that should not breach containment#good god this is....#i can't believe i wrote this. and that I'm also posting it. but he we are...#nyx cheesy porno drabbles
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HEYYYY [insert whatever pet name u like] it's ur venus stellium anon from last month.. do u remember me? sorry life happened 🤩 n i've been pretty low energy so i didn't get around to bothering u. I've been looking at yt vids of some of my chart placements lately and i've discovered something funny (along with other developments like me. I've been looking at ur blog the past one or two days a little and I obvs haven't made my way through the whole "backlog" but some silly thoughts:
I didn't know u were bi! For some reason I felt a little awkward talking about this because I didn't want to be That Person lol (aka everyone was talking about guys and I didn't wanna weird anyone out 😔) but my exes were women 😂 supposedly I gave them daddy energy lmfao I hate it because I wanted that from someone. I talked about them a bit vaguely but it might've sounded worse under the assumption of it being a man. (Unless I didn't say much and just forgot)
I've been reading celebrity gossip and only now realised how people - even the most successful - can have it so truly bad when it comes to romance and idk it made me a little apathetic and allergic to it. Not in a "im swearing off of it" way but in a "im no longer going to expect it in my life. If I get surprised, yay for me. Otherwise eh." (my mind's at a weird place though so it'll probably change when other things calm down, don't worry about me 🫶 this is all about the hypothetical future anyway because I'm not looking for a relationship rn)
Sorry u got hate about ur blog. I can understand anon got upset but the unkind language was uncalled for.
I came across the ask about nodes conjuncting big 3 and one of mine does; i can assure u (and the hate anon) that yes, this particular example (me) DOES happen to be cray cray 😭
This is related to the yt vids and point 2: My charts basically say I'll have an okay enough career, but the romance department would be dodgy because I will never be satisfied by anything anyone does for me (to put it shortly) 😂😂 that had me a little shocked at first but then I was like u know what we kinda knew this.. let's just focus on that career instead LMFAO
HARD AGREE WITH U ON THE FLIRTING IN NON-ENGLISH. I gotta be honest I cringe if I hear flirting in anything other than English (I've only ever been exposed to it in that language) but I read a fic (english) once where this man called his lover "meri jaan" and it had me in a DAZE FOR DAYS (excuse the lame pun pls) SO YES I AGREE W U. I've been collecting other little terms (just 1 so far) that I've seen people around me using affectionately and they're sooo sweet.
I HOPE U'VE BEEN WELLLLLL. I'm away from tumblr lately so I probably won't be able to send u asks in the near future but I hope u stay safe and take care of urself 💖💖 BYEEEEE
HEYYY bbg 🥺
I thought this was going to be astrology related but you're just checking in on me 😭😭😭😭and I feel so touched 🥺🥺🥺
1. About being bisexual
I feel like there are definitely different dynamics at play bc I do attract more butch leaning women who want to be my daddy 🫣🙈 but whenever it's a femme x femme dynamic, I always feel like I become the more dominant one and I do kinda hate it 😭😭
It just wears me out to be the giver tbh 🙃 especially because I already assume that role in so many other areas in my life, I just want to sit back and be babygirled 😭😭 this is why despite being attracted to women , relationships with women don't really work out for me 😭😭
it's all a matter of luck when it comes to love and relationships and sometimes things find us unexpectedly.
what I've learnt from some of my recent experiences is that someone can do all the right things, give you princess treatment and all that yet not make you feel anything 😭 so to be physically attracted to someone, emotionally in- sync with them, AND have a healthy relationship,, it's all down to luck 😭
2. not u calling yourself cray cray 😭😭
majority of people in this world are not living happy lives, be it with regard to love, career or family. To even have one of these things going well is a huge blessing ✨and while it's possible to have all of them, it's okay to not beat yourself up for achieving all 3 in one go.
One of my dad's childhood friends, remained unmarried into her late 40s. This is veryyyy unusual in India and she's not from a bougie artsy family where such things are chill or anything either. She, however, had a brilliant career and is a civil servant and rn she's in a veryyy high ranking position because she's worked her way up. Everybody around her pitied her (for being single and childless) but she was just out there making $$$ by the time she hit her late 40s people stopped pestering her because by that point, it's kinda "too late" to settle down. BUT GUESS WHAT HAPPENED??? she met a reallyyyyy cute Swiss-German man who was visiting our state/city and she happened to be the one showing him around?? (someone linked them up basically) and that wonderful meet-cute led them to marriage in like 2 months lol ,,, this lady who had been single for 47+ years found the right guy and married him in less than 2 months???? Isn't that sooooo romantic??? It's all about timing 💛💛 and now they've been together for a decade and spend most of their year travelling the world ✨and are very much in love
So different eras of our life will have us focusing on different things. Rn it's probably best to make that $$$ and focus on yourself. Love will find you when it needs to 💛✨💛
3. About flirting in non-English
JAJAJSJ yess I used to cringe 😬 hearing Desi flirting across languages 😭but now I feel like I've finally decolonised my mind to find it cute 😭
My ex was Tamil and he used to call me "bomma" which means "doll" in Tamil ,, I had a flop talking stage with another Tamil guy who used to call me "Kitty kutty" ("little kitty") and idk if it's a Tamil guy thing but they go hardddd with their affection through terms of endearment
Flirting in Hindi is always fun bc it's all "aapka this, aapka that" (using honorifics) and respect turns me on i guess lmao 🤭🥵 Idk if this is just a Desi thing but yk how men start calling you madam and ma'am 😌yeah I live for that shit 🤭🤭 they'll be like "madam is still getting ready" and I'll be like 😍yes the hell I am 😍😜
4. Thank you so much for checking in with me angel 🥺🥺 I appreciate it and you soooo much 💛💛💛 you're the sweetest
I'll take care of myself 😜 😌and I hope you do as well!!! 💛💛 May the rest of July be wonderful for you ✨
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The events of Immortal Hulk depict a timeloop in which a desperate message from the end of all things reaches Sam and he takes that message to enact the events we see unfold, preventing the destruction of all.
Where do you feel Sam, who wanted to bring about this calamity, went wrong and ended up preventing the One Below All from claiming Banner?
Hah, that's a good question. I hope we'll now more about this, how did it reach Sam, of all the universe and time and people and infinite possibilities ? Is it because he was the only one who could prevent it or was it an accident ? Did he, somehow, was smart enough to intercept it himself ? Why did he want to bring a future where he's dead too considering the One Below All is the last entity remaining ? Did he even fail ? We don't know, the future he witnessed is so far away, TOBA/TOAA is still here so it can still happen, Immortal Hulk's ending is an open door (pun intended), it's not an ending and it left our characters with choices, all of them. Bruce is still wondering if he's going on the right path, Sam is no longer the Leader, they both can still pick a different path and it's up to other writers to write that and with all the references to Tamuz and Green Doors we get in Phillip Kennedy Johnson's run I really don't think the Green Door story is over, so far we can't really tell if that calamity was really prevented imo.
As for what Sam did wrong, as always his own arrogance, I guess he was bold enough to think he could trick TOBA itself and kinda become it and get its power, as he called himself a God (of hate) which TOBA is. And he did become that but not as intended, he was the puppet and not the puppeteer, TOBA's mask, possessed like a simple tool. Sam is connected to Bruce, they share a destiny and it seems TOBA needs both of them, something Sam failed to see 'cause he thought Bruce was the one and only missing link for the gamma flow or whatever when it was apparently him. They both have a part to play in this future and if anything so far Sam totally served TOBA's goal. After all Sam could manipulate the Green Door way easier than Brian and I don't think it's because he's smarter, Sam was always able to possess Gamma irradiated (Omnibus) and always able to create connexion with them (Rick, Bruce), he just never realized he could, it was an "accident" each time, even if when he reached Bruce he says that "somehow, through some door" (so Bruce's door) he was able to reach him. Sam always had access to it (and he's not the only one, I don't know if you ever read Al Ewing's first Defender run with Red Harpy but you should). Same for the shapeshifting, Sam had a shit tons of transformations already and being able to shapeshift is just the natural evolution of his manipulative power and liar personality so to me everything he got through TOBA's power is just a better advanced controle over his own, not a new one. Sam is about hate and so is TOBA, Sam is a connexion, he's not the host it was planning to keep but the connexion between gamma and irradiated it needed to reach Bruce. Or at least that's how I see it. Just like how Jackie is the eyes and can see the truth (I'll develop that one day, the link between truth and gamma), Bruce the strength and destruction etc etc to me the main irradiated all have a specific role to play, kinda like a chest game. As such I would say Bruce is the King, the one needed piece, Sam the Queen, the one that can make every moves and will kinda create the path y'know (I should draw them all as chest pieces now that I think of it...), you get my point. And ironically through his own over confidence he understimated himself and his role in this calamity, leading (lol) him to his own demise.
Anyway, feel free to ask more about the lore even if it's unrelated to art ! It makes me very happy to talk about that and feel free to agree or disagree, my answer is mostly interpretation, as I said Immortal Hulk ending is an open door and it left us free to have our own interpretation and that's something I really love about this story, while it gives us a real story with a beginning and an ending, we are free to have our own vision. Hulk forgiving Sam was a perfect exemple of this with Savage being for forgivness, Jackie being against it and refusing to forgive him and Joe being like "heh idk I guess that depends on what he'll do next" so you could relate to yes, no, maybe. And I think having a story ending with such endless possibilities is great so I really don't mind earing your own version of it, you or anyone else. That's why when I commission an artist to draw Sam I let them free, I don't want them to draw MY interpretation, I want them to draw THEIRS, I love sharing headcanon and theories with people. In fact the way I see Sam (and Hulk's lore) changed so much through people's own interpretation, it's truly fascinating and it's what a fandom should be about, sharing. Oh it doesn't mean you have to agree and adopt these headcanons, far from it, but other people's headcanons won't prevent you from having your own different ones and listening to others can bring very good point you didn't necessarly think about. As much as I love Sam and as much as I know everything about him, comics lore is way too inconsistant to have only one truth and one vision about a character.
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So I'm not very good with analysis or anything so this isn't going to be the paragraphs-long message dissecting Divine Favour that I would love to write (I'm pretty burnt out right now) and it's not gonna be anything more than my surface level thoughts but I just need you to know how much I adored that first chapter.
You have me hooked - I need to know how the reader ended up in that coffin and why Sukuna reacted the way he did.
If Sukuna was the one to 'imprison' the reader then surely he would have reacted differently on seeing the coffin, but he only seemed to care after the coffin was opened. Is the reader even dead? Because by the sounds of it he hasn't rotted away. The fact that you pointed out how the kimono is too big is making me wonder if it's Sukuna's kimono, especially with the reader embroidering his kimonos. If so, that's an adorable detail.
I'm intrigued to know why the reader seems to be revered as some sort of deity, why his coffin was stolen away, and what sort of failsafe he's supposed to be? It seems to imply that the reader is supposed to stop Sukuna. How is the reader supposed to do that, and why do the Jujutsu sorcerers think we could, or would? Leading on from that, why did Gojo seem interested by the idea that Sukuna killed the reader?
The scripture being incomplete is interesting. It's trying to imply that we were 'imprisoned' by the 'disgraced one' (who is more than likely Sukuna) but I don't know how likely that is. He seems to be - perhaps not in love, that's the wrong word for it - very fond of the reader. Sukuna being jealous of the concubine who kissed him, lying down on his futon, and giving him his first proper kiss shows that he obviously does care for the reader, even if he does call him a 'pet' (I personally think he's just emotionally constipated). I adored the detail about the reader embroidering something for Uraume too, they never get enough love <3.
Anyway, as I said it's not really more than surface level thoughts and it's probably more of a ramble than any sort of perceptive analysis which the piece (and you) deserve, but I just had to get it out and tell you how much I already love this piece. I also read on another blog that writers like receiving comments, so I hope this is okay and not annoying you. If so, please feel free to ignore this haha.
Thank you for making my day with this writing, though!
BROOO THIS MADE MY DAY OMFG THANK YOU SO MUCH?? I'm glad all the plot hooks got your attention and had you wondering 👀 Ik I love me some mystery and points of interest in my self-indulgent stories beheheh
OFC I don't want to spoil anything HOWEVER reader's imprisonment is loosely related to canon events and the plan to resurrect Sukuna!! Kind of similar energy to how Uraume is still up and kicking and has been waiting for their homie to return
YES he's definitely emotionally constipated. Not necessarily emotionally stupid, he just is like "nah. that's not right" and his sheer will lets him push aside any feelings he doesn't like LOL
I LOVE URAUME AND THUS READER LOVES URAUME AND IN TURN URAUME IS CHILL AF WITH READER (pun intended)
There will definitely be more explanation as to reader's status coming up in future bits!! They are kind of considered to be Sukuna's "light" as Uraume is considered his "shadow"
THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN, THIS IS LIKE?? THIS IS INSANE, I AM SO FCKING STOKED TO KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS AND TO SEE WHAT YOU CAUGHT ONTO WITH THE PLOT HOOKS LIKE ASKJD;FWIOEJ I absolutely LOVE comments (I am just slow to reply lol) so absolutely no bother, I'm humbled you took the time to write an analysis and share your ideas!!
THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN IM CRNHYING
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Positive honeycraft rant
If y’all haven’t heard of honeycraft, it’s a vanilla SMP I am in with 11 others, most are here on tumblr! And earlier this month we celebrated one YEAR of our little corner of the Minecraft community, and as a holiday gift to them I wanted to share my thanks to them!
Honorable mention:
@12u3ie who isn’t a part of the server but our honorary member! We love ya 12 /p
Members:
@stormjay0 is currently on hiatus but will not be spared by my appreciation. Her content is so enjoyable and very underrated, the two of us are the chaotic braincells of the server. In the best way of course!
@exnoh is pm the only boy on the server and we love ya for it buddy xD seriously though he does his best to make it to meetings like everyone else but it’s hilarious because he’s muted the entire time and doing his own thing. Also his sona is so fun to draw sometimes.
@mixinu and @mgeekingout are the equivalent of cookies and milk, in the chaotic good way. I honestly can’t tell you how much these two are made for each other it’s adorable, they are both extremely talented artists and it drives me insane /pos
@sweetest-honeybee our beloved admin! Despite having almost no prior experience in being the admin back in s1 you couldn’t tell! She’s honestly the best base buddy I’ve had so far and the story we are making together with our terrible skits is cringey yet kinda engaging lol! Also we enjoy just talking about mcyt in general 😌
@fluffy-papaya is our current admin for this season and they are doing a great job! If you love lore PLEASE go and look for their videos because they are so good. Me and fluffy are the two biggest pranksters on this server, and we tend to prank each other sometimes lol
@redwinterroses isn’t on often but she is NUTS! 2 Smps AND still going to school, working, AND writing?? She’s crazy XD in all seriousness though I can never get enough of hanging out with Red.
SCPOwo and Faren, owo doesn’t have a tumblr and idk about faren so woops, but anyways owo is our pun loving friend (me too) as well as our local eldritch horror, no lore or videos, Just here for fun like me! Faren is the chill person on the server and honestly I want to hang with them more often, we get along really well!
@lelilawesell is one of our two new members who joined in the beginning of s2 and in skizzlemans words “friendship Jedi master” immediately when I met them I knew she would be a great fit for this fun server and I wasn’t more right. Also has one of the best laughs imho.
And last but definitely not least we have pistachio/Tashi! Our other new member is writing some amazing lore as well and is a great builder! After bee introduced her to our little server it would only make sense to have her join as well, also we both are good at improv lore. :D
That’s about it! Of course there’s so much more I want to say about them because being on a server with these amazing people is a dream, and even if some of them aren’t on often it makes those small moments even better. I still can’t believe it’s already been a year on honeycraft and I’m excited to see what the future will bring 💙
Happy holidays everyone, hope things are going well :)
#sweetesthoneybee#honeycraft2#honeycraft smp#honeycraft#fluffy papaya#stormjay0#exnoh#mgeekingout#mixinu#redwinterroses#lelilaplays#sammystuffies rambles#sammystuffies
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