#((lmao wh a t even))

[strangestcase]

tomblr discourse in the monster high universe must be something else.

0 notes

💝​ lalalala Follow

What would I do without cherry smoothies... probably die again 💔​

🟥​ b3lfrypr3pz-deactivated09182022

Of freaking course the frilly daywalker is a vegan 😒​ bet you do witchcraft too you dirty hippie

💝​ lalalala Follow

🝢🜊🝣🝗🜚🝰

🟥​ b3lfrypr3pz-deactivated09182022

WTF is that lol

🟥​ b3lfrypr3pz-deactivated09182022

i t burns. wh at did you do to me .

💝​ lalalala Follow

^-^

17k notes

🧠​ msdeadfast Follow

Ok but Dead Fast: Night of the Living (2002) has no business being considered the worst Dead Fast movie when the MCU (Murder Cinematic Universe) not only retconned his origin story to make him a virus zombie rather than a curse zombie (which throws off his entire arc about being something more than his deeds!) AND made him be allied with B.L.I.G.H.T. of all organizations because Like say what you will about NOTL and the forced heterosexual romantic plot but at least 1) it gets what makes Dead Fast a hero and 2) GIVES HIS LOVE INTEREST A PERSONALITY AND SOMETHING TO DO

🕷️ 8legscomix Follow

Literally

Also they made the villain Dr. Igorable's motivations so laughable like..... so his wife got turned into a zombie and he wants to cure her? Ok? Did she ask for it? She doesn't even have any groaning lines. Im not even a zombie but that was offensive as hell. Like in the original comics he wants to straight up undo all forms of zombism forever

🧠​ msdeadfast Follow

NO FR LIKE....... so suddenly the eugenics obsessed human is tragic because being a zombie must be such a tragedy you guyyyysssss -_- and wanting to get rid of an entire monster type is ok. I swear that movie has turned monster attitudes towards zombies back into the 80s

⚠️ mentalhealth-hazard Follow

I am not sure if I'm overstepping here but, furthermore, the addition of Pendulum to the movie was unnecesary. Stereotyping shapeshifters as untrustworthy and traitorous is something of a past era. Either leave the character behind, or change it entirely.

🧠​ msdeadfast Follow

Jackson I love you and I love your takes. but you type like a Victorian in his deathbed ;-;

⚠️ mentalhealth-hazard Follow

The MCU is so dreadful, it's irrevocably turned me into one.

#It has also substracted years off my lives.

23 notes

🌊​ lacriatura Follow

🦈​🦐​🐠🪸​​🐡​🐟​

^ aquarium!

#lagoona's originals #ocean #sealife #ah-! so refreshing <- aesth tag

26k notes

🔥 666firepit666 Follow

Not to vague anyone but some of you have to shut the freak up about the ocean. You don't see me making little dioramas of the Malebolge because I'm not a little cringelet like you lmao

1 note

🌊​ lacriatura Follow

If you don't freaking love the ocean don't follow the ocean tag. Yes that goes for @666firepit666, square up and fight me if you're so brave Heath!!!!

#lagoona's originals #personal #more skulls for my skull collection!!!

10 notes

🌙​ wolf-in-chic-clothing Follow

Day 1 no toxic doomed yuri

🌙​ wolf-in-chic-clothing Follow

WRONG SIDEBLOG

#stop reblogging this

80k notes

🔩​ stitchez Follow

Got a new arm! Can't wait to try it out!

🐯 ninelives Follow

try it out how 🤨​

🔩​ stitchez Follow

Building a wretched creature out of corpses, of course!

🔩​ stitchez Follow

OH that was a double entendre! You should be ashamed of yourself!

🔩​ stitchez Follow

I would never use my arms for violent purposes!

54 notes

🔥 666firepit666 Follow

Lagoona dragged me into the pool and now my hair is out 😡​

🌙​ wolf-in-chic-clothing Follow

Skull issue.

🧠​ msdeadfast Follow

skull issue

👻​ ghostlygossip01 Follow

Skull issue. Take the L

💝​ lalalala Follow

Skull issue ^-^

🐯 ninelives Follow

skull issue lmao

🔩​ stitchez Follow

Skull issue! I dont know what that means but I'm sure it relates to your experience!

🎸​ innerdemon Follow

SKULL ISSUEEEEEEEEE !!!!!!!

🔥 666firepit666 Follow

Your own cousin 🥲​

🎸​ innerdemon Follow

I AM NOT RELATED TO ANY BALD PEOPLE

105 notes

💎​ scarab-g1rl Follow

Alright, who stole my sinister amulet?

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

book 7 part 10 thoughts!

***THIS POST CONTAINS MASSIVE SPOILERS FOR BOOK 7 PART 10 OF THE MAIN STORY!!***

Please note: this is NOT meant to be a summary or a translation; these are only my initial thoughts on the events that roughly unfold. There may be details overlooked or misunderstood in this post, so PLEASE do not use this as a translation.

This update spans part 158 to part 191.

BAHAHAHAHAHA THEY'RE AT THE CORAL SEA (not "in" it yet, more like at the surface level of it) AND JAMIL'S ALREADY UPSET OVER THE LOCALE

Jamil comes up with the smart idea of using ice magic to make a boat for them all. Silver takes up the oars (how princely lmao) and Ortho praises the second years for being so reliable!

WEL;ANJFDBIUGSOGSBIAF THAT BOAT DIDN'T LAST LONG, LITERALLY ONLY A SINGLE PART BEFORE WE CAPSIZE????? We see a dark and gloomy place with an abandoned ship, similar to where Ariel was exploring in the opening of The Little Mermaid. The gang can breathe though, since Idia hacked in bubbles around each person to provide them with an air dome made of magic nanomachines.

THERE HE IS FELLAS, MERMAID FLOYD PULLED UP. Mmm, interesting?? He sounds really flat and bored, expressing that he no longer has an interest in land creatures since everyone was weak + so easily deceived by Azul. Floyd also seems to report that Azul has found success with Mostro Lounge...? And Jade is probably supporting him there.

Floyd tells us that he's been traveling Twisted Wonderland in his dream world. He's been to the Shaftlands (Fairest City??) to try out the latest fashion and model (but got bored because he was asked to work exclusively with the brand), worked part-time in a restaurant in the Sunshine Lands (but got bored because so many people wanted to eat his food), and exploring the Scalding Sands. Floyd wandered the desert and found a black magic lamp in the Cave of Wonders and decided to bring it home because Jade said "the teapot" would be nice to have. Floyd summoned the genie and used it to wish for delicious food, www

He mentions having plans to visit other places too, like the Queendom of Roses, Briar Valley, Sunset Savanna, etc. (Floyd's looking for a challenging opponent to fight!!) But now he has returned to the sea, even though he considers it boring too. Floyd basically tells them to fuck on off and then stares floating around depressingly.

Idia theorizes that Floyd must be "resetting" his dream again and again since Malleus has set the parameters to achieve a "happy ending". Since Floyd is constantly dissatisfied, the dream continues to scrounge for something that will please him. The happiness never really lasts long though. The group decides that they have to provide him with that strong foe he wants to shock him awake!

OH MY GOD Silver and Jamil just walk up to Floyd and tell him he’s in a dream. Of course he doesn’t believe them????? But then they start telling him stories of things that happened irl including clarifying what it was that Floyd had done to disrupt his own first year opening ceremony. Apparently he grabbed Riddle’s hair and went “oh, it’s bright red but it isn’t hot”, which led into a massive fight with Riddle shooting fire at him. The staff (specifically Vargas) had to hold Riddle back. There’s another story of how Floyd tried to fight Cater but Cater used his UM to hold Floyd back and bro wiped hard 💀 According to Idia, Malleus and Leona also beat Floyd in combat.

Jamil talks about how sometimes Floyd would find it hard to keep up with him and/or how Floyd would get in trouble for wailing on the younger kids in their club. The headmaster wasn’t happy and made Floyd clean up the gym for a week

Wh A t😭 Grim recalls how Octavinelle made us HOMELESS in book 3 (and then how they got their asses beat BUT I’M BAWLING AT THE AUDACITY)

The dream manifests a fake Jade and Azul to drag Floyd deeper… We finally get a non-OB octoform Azul to look at!!

They goad Floyd and say he shouldn’t lose to land creatures, so beat them back and then the three of them can live peacefully in the sea together. Silver warns Floyd not to listen to the fake Jade and Azul, but he ends up not needing their help??? Instead Floyd blows up at the fakes and claims Jade and Azul would never say such boring things. Like, he actively gets SO pissed off that they’re borrowing their faces and voices to try and deceive him 😭

They tell Floyd about what’s going down and he’s delighted??? He starts calling out locations and the dream responds to it, he thinks it’s so interesting. Idia and co. panic because this spike in activity could alert Malleus OTL

They theorize that Jade’s dream may take place in the mountains, so Floyd should change into a land form.

When they change to Jade’s dream, Floyd praises Silver’s UM. Silver is flattered but Jamil is thanking the stars that someone mindful like Silver has Meet in a Dream and not Floyd. He says Floyd would probably abuse the UM and give people nightmares lmao

Now they’re in a part of the Coral Sea that has tons of underwater volcanos. Floyd saves us all from a blast of black smoke from one of the vents. Idia warns the air domes are not strong, so one blast from the smoke could drown them all.

Floyd suggests Idia make merforms for everyone. However, Idia says it’s hard to do, especially on a short time frame, since he lacks data on merpeople.

OOOOOH Floyd reveals his bioluminescence!! Looks so pretty aaaaaaah ✨ (He calls it “counter illumination”?)

J WORD SiGHTING

OOOOOH I GET IT, the volcanic vents are like the sea’s equivalent of “mountains”. He and dream!Azul are exploring this area looking for a gold mine or something. Interesting that Jade dreams of still assisting Azul for fun…

sguaddr(dFacFFh ??!!\!]]!£]!] AZUL????? He got hit by a blast from the vent while casting magic on it to get to some gold ore he spotted. Jade gets a good laugh out of it.

WHO THE FuCK ARE yoU, WhY Sre your eyes SO Big AnD WAtERY

Azul tearfully declares he won’t give up and Jade gases him up 😭 YOUR DREAM IS TO BULLY AND ENABLE HIM??????? WOW J WORD

Floyd claims he would never go mountain climbing with Jade but then—

WhAT YHR fUVkinh FVkkkKKKKKKKKKK

THAT’S DREAM!FLOYD?????!!?!!! HE LOOKS SO FRIGHIn DERPY 😭 😭 😭 BRo JUST StARTS EATINg SHRIMP AnD HAPPILY GOING AlONG WiTH wHatEVEF JAde AsAyS

Floyd gets pissed off seeing all of this and goes in for the attack. Everyone panics, but Jamil pulls a Silver book 7 part 9 and basically tells them to let Floyd cook 💀

Dream!Azul of course tries to convince Jade that Floyd is dumb and cute and everything, not some THUG cbjssbkwebodnxsk Jade is convinced that “this” Azul and Jade would use useless without him so he buys dream!Azul’s lies. FLOYD GETS MORE ANGRY THRymRE GONNa BRaWLLLLLLL

Uhhhh so fighting doesn’t wake Jade up. Idia suggests this is because while Jade doesn’t have a particularly strong imagination, he’s good at exploring possible scenarios within himself…? Not sure if I totally understood the wording here (I’ll have to double check with other sources later), all you gotta know if that punching was ineffective. ***Edit: It’s because (according to Idia), Jade has a strong belief in himself.***

OH, WORM??? J WORD AnD FKOYD ArE mAKinG HISSING NoiSES At eaCH OYher As THEY FIGHT (the NPC Azul and Floyd are busy cowering in a corner) 🍿 I believe it was previously said in a voice line or some vignette that when the twins fight, they get VIOLENT and it’s kinda funny we get to see it on-screen now.

Sebek gets the idea to stop both of the twins’ movements with his UM. (Very thoughtfully, he warns everyone, particularly Ortho, to stand back before he casts Living Bolt.) It works very well because salt water conducts electricity better than distilled water!! I think that helps Jade with realizing something’s off because right when dream!Azul and Floyd rush to him, Jade points out that the real ones wouldn’t call him “cute” and such.

WHoa WHOA, sCARY hot

Aaaand we got two eels added to the party! Onward to Azul’s dream~ (jxbsksvxiwnw J WoRD THROWS uP)

We’re underwater again! Jade theorizes it must be because Azul has expanded the Mostro Lounge into a worldwide chain, since Azul has expressed the desire to run a successful restaurant business like his mother.

We hear cheering, it seems to be from a Coral Rush (underwater ball) game. It’s similar to Magical Shift, but instead of brooms you ride on the backs of dolphins. Coral Rush is popular among merfolk!

WhAT

If I was drinking something then I would be spitting it up right now because WhY IS AZUL AN ATHLETE (If I’m understanding this correctly, he’s playing for a Coral Rush team called Golden Trident? And he’s the LEADER) 😂 I guess maybe because he’s been insecure about this weakness of his…?

MAN. Jamil is going to bully his ass later about this, I just KNOW he is… Azul goes all chuuni and shouts “KRAKEN SHOT” before scoring 🪦 Cringefail bbg…

OH MY GOD THIS SHADY BITCH

Jade has “-san” in quotation marks 💀 HE’S BEING TOTALLY SARCASTIC

Fun little detail, it looks like the Octatrio had a group handshake…? Jade and Azul do it here and later Jade and Floyd do the same, ending it each time with a cute little “yaaay” 🥺

dndjsnkweneow Jade asks Azul to sign Idia’s tablet OTL YOU ASSHOLE BE SO FR RIGHT NOW

Azul remembers “Leech-kun” and “Leech-kun” (*shudders*) from elementary school. His team mates call out to him and Azul invites us to their victory celebration at his mother’s restaurant (which finally gets a name!!! It’s called La Grotta). Apparently it would be hard for your average student to get in, but with Azul’s invite we should be okay!

Jade starts brainstorming again and suggests that this dream is what we see because Azul wanted you to erase the sad past in which he was bullied. He says he won’t divulge too many details since it involves Azul’s privacy (aw, the ONE time he decides to not leak info 😂).

Aaaaah Idia says he has a bad feeling about something… which gives ME a bad feeling…

They arrive at La Grotta and Azul casts a spell that makes an anemone crop up on everyone’z head?! Azul says that anemones are the most formal hair accessory one can wear in the sea; it makes them “fit in” more. He leaves Jade and Floyd alone though since they’re already merfolk.

Uhhhh Grim gets distracted with dancing and drags Sebek off with him??? Okay???

The entire time this is going down, the twins are watching silently.

Grim, Sebek, and Ortho dance but they end up falling down. The mob merpeople start to laugh and make fun of land creatures. It’s then we learn that Azul lied about the sea anemone being associated with high status, it’s instead something that indicates stupidity. So… uh… He just wanted to bully us??? This whole dream is playing out like a bitter high school revenge fantasy…

Azul says the twins can stay if they play Coral Rush with him. Surely they’re tired of hanging around dumb land creatures right? It’s better to come along with him.

Floyd makes a mess and passes an antique to Jade, and the two start to “play” with it. (… Nah, they start breaking shit 😬)

LOL???? Is Azul threatening to sue the fins off of the twins??? He’s all like “MY PAPA’S A LAWYER YOU KNOW” at them… (He also calls his mom “mama”; the word choice and behavior really makes me think he’s a mama’s/daddy’s boy.)

Jade says to everyone that we should move onto the next dream. He pretends (?) to leave, which triggers a memory of book 3 where Azul declares that he’s always going to be alone.

HMMMMMMMMMMM, there’s no dream!Floyd or dream!Jade to lure Azul to the darkness, only the mermobs 🤔

Ortho expects the twins to dive after him, but neither of them do 🤡 They say it’s Azul’s choice to dream more deeply, so they’ll allow him to.

Grim drowns in the darkness so we (Yuu, Silver, Jamil, Sebek) go after him. Ortho tries to appeal to the twins by saying if they don’t follow, then they’ll be trapped in the dream forever. Sooo Jade and Floyd depart into the dark. Ortho is left wondering if this coldness is actually how the twins express trust.

LOLLLLLl???????? Azul’s setting the photo of their class trip on fire and laughing like a maniac… (He also has apparently gained Ramshackle AND stolen the UMs of his fellow dorm leaders.) I counted, Azul has no less than like 3-4 Evil Villain Laughs this update 💀 OKAY KING POP OFF LIVE LAUGH LOVE

They split into two groups (the player gets to go with J word 😳), each with the goal of taking out one of the dream!Tweels. Jamil lures dream!Floyd out to the basketball court under the false pretenses of a special club activity (where a strong merman opponent would be present).

Jade meanwhile goes to the botanical garden?? And he starts to smash plant pots… He claims it’s a dream so it’s okay! It’s not like he’s doing this because he wants to (lie). Jade makes (anemoned) Grim take a bunch of rare ingredients he “harvested” to Mostro Lounge.

Azul becomes interested in the ingredients and wants access to the source to maximize profits. Dream!Jade is led off by Grim and Yuu to the woods behind campus. SILBEK JUMP HIM—

Jade uses Shock the Heart to learn where Azul has moved the contracts. They weren’t in his office vault when the group checked earlier; the contracts are now in Azul’s room…? Which… I feel like that was such an obvious place to check, not sure why the thought didn’t occur to them sooner??

They find the contracts but there’s like 500 of them and no efficient way to destroy so many in a short amount of time. Ortho suggests his beam, but it might result in collateral damage to them if he fires it this close. Floyd says they can just trick Azul into destroying the contracts himself but before they can say anything more they hear voices getting closer.

Jade and Floyd return to Azul warning him that someone is after his contracts, so Azul, concerned, asks for the contracts so he can relocate them again. When they don’t, he starts threatening them (even saying that the headmaster is under his thumb too, no one at this school can oppose him).

Azul is baited to cast a spell at them, which Floyd deflects with Bind the Heart. He then summons anemones (Ace, Deuce, Riddle, Leona, Kalim, Idia) to help him. Some mob anemones called him “Azul-sama” in dead-sounding voices which. Makes me think maybe he stole Jamil’s Snake Whisper in the dream too??

Together, the twins keep taunting their dorm leader until Azul unleashes King’s Roar. They use Bind the Heart once again to redirect Leona’s UM and dust the contracts ✨ (We also got Floyd’s UM chant!! Roughly: “This is a nice place/it was just getting good, but how about I interrupt it?”)

NxdbsjsbkFAJHQAN OF COURSE THAT’A WHEN AzUL BREAks 😭 and it happens like automatically too… The loss of the contracts really is a sore spot for him.

Here comes the suspicious black gloop again~

Azul starts to sink down BUT THIS TIME YHE TWINS CALL OUT HIS NAME AND GRAB ONTO HIM?????? Jade even specifically tells Azul to “take his hand” and instructs Floyd to help pull. Ayo… the “take my hand” imagery again…

Waaah… Octavinelle trusts each other so much?? When Silver warns them that he doesn’t know what will happen to the twins if they end up in Azul’s abyss, Jade and Floyd wish Azul luck/don’t go to hell AND AZUL’s CASUALLy LIKE “you too” 🤡

Azul finally faces his OB self!! How interesting, he tells his OB that with the weight of all that he stole from others, it’s hard to move. I think he means that metaphorically… like, it’s hard to achieve personal growth if all you do is take and hurt people. “Unlike you, I’ve learned.” He wants to make his dream of making everyone bow down to him a reality on his own. Azul’s not satisfied with this, he wants something of “real value”.

Azul wakes up back in his mom’s restaurant and surrounded by his team members. He asks them to sign a contract which states they will all continue playing hard together. Duh, it’s a trap and actually anemones them. The contract just handed all their powers over to Azul 💀 Bro… How dumb are you, you didn’t even SKIM to check the terms of the contact are what to claimed them to be??

Azul regroups with the others and they inform him of what’s going on. He immediately expresses concern that the Mostro Lounge hasn’t been operating + the ingredients in their fridge might spoil because of Malleus’s magic. Man has his priorities www Thankfully they’re fine since the flow of time has stopped and potential customers are all sleeping. No ingredients or business lost!! Azul still wants Malleus to pay him back for the inconveniences though.

Ortho recommends that Jade and Floyd stay behind, as they both have taken significant damage from fighting. Idia adds that they should lower the number of people dream hopping to minimize the chance of bugs showing up; Jamil volunteers. Azul says it’s a shame because he was looking forward to fighting alongside him; Jamil says that “friends” with Octavinelle’s dorm leader has its uses, so he “looks forward to it.”

… Jamil acknowledging what Azul wants and agreeing to go along with it feels… weird…

Azul joins us and we hasten to the next dream. “Time is money!!” so chop, chop!! Next update… Savanaclaw!!

Overall, I really enjoyed seeing the twins fight, as well as seeing their more animalistic aspects (ie the bioluminescence) come out. The Coral Sea locations were so fun and colorful, it makes me want a hometown event even more!! Merform Azul we kiiiind of already saw with his OB form (and I’d seen lots of edits from fans making their own prior to this) but I thought it was nice to have that confirmation nevertheless.

There were a lot of small moments that made me do a double take (derpy dream!Floyd is one, Azul’s Big Bad scenes were several others). It was cute to see their Club Wear outfits utilized in the dreams too; we saw Basketball Club and Mountain Lovers Club looks make an appearance. I felt like I was watching some kind of variety show while reading.

This update gave me many thoughts, most of them surrounding the Octatrio and their relationship with one another. I’d like to talk more at length about their dream worlds and the roles they played in one another’s headspaces. However, that will get very bulky and I don’t want to add even more to an already bully post. I’ll make that a separate post and put it up later, so please bear with me ^^

[ryker-writes]

Can I request form leaders with an mc who bites people out of love?

I do that i lot of times lmao, it entering seeing their reaction sometimes

Of course! I get the urge to just do that too sometimes-

Also posting this one from my phone instead of my usual computer so I hope everything looks fine

Request rules and Masterlists

Riddle:

confused

his first instinct is off with your head but he refrains

he is very red

you need to explain yourself immediately

if you don't it will be off with your head

when you do explain he's still confused

biting out of love?

he's never heard of such a thing

he will come to accept it with a lot of time but he'll tell you to maybe not bite him when others are around

he just get's so embarrassed if others see it

Will eventually calm down and accept it is you bite him without others round

Leona:

you're playing a dangerous game here

you biting him means he has the right to bite you back

and he will

be careful because he has sharp teeth

he doesn't even question it he just already knows why

he really doesn't mind it

so what if people see you bite him?

you do it out of love so there's no reason to hide it

he's actually pretty smug about it

Azul:

he's broken

wh-why did you bite him????

he's more red than Riddle

Demands and explanation

Love? You bite people out of love?

He’s pretty sure humans don’t usually do this

Like Riddle, he doesn’t want you to do it when others around

While he will be hesitant about you doing it at all, he’s willing to accept it if no one sees

But he’s going to die of embarrassment every time regardless if people see or not

If people do see he’s going to flee and want to crawl into his octo-pot

Kalim:

huh?

he doesn't even understand what happened but he's very calm about it

You bit him? Okay. Why?

Very calm about it all

When you tell him that you bit him out of love, he’s super excited about it

That’s so sweet!

Expect him to start biting too at random times

When Kalim sees you he’s just so happy and he cares about you so much that he just starts walking up and biting you

Jamil is so confused

Kalim might start biting other people he loves too so…

Vil:

first of all, how dare you

Don’t you know it’s rude to bite people?

It’s animal-like

At first he thinks he needs to teach you how to behave around others

But then you tell him that you do it out of love and he’s conflicted

He appreciates your love but he can’t just have you biting him all the time

Perhaps there’s another way you can show your love?

If not he will accept the biting on a few conditions

First, you can not bite him when others are around and you two are completely alone in a room

He will not risk other people seeing or taking photos/videos

Second, you can’t bite him hard enough to leave a mark on his skin

Third, you can only bite spots on him that are pre-approved by him

As long as you follow these rules, he doesn’t mind it as much

Idia:

he's broken #2

Idia.exe has stopped working

as soon as you bite him he can't move or say anything

he's completely frozen

This is so much like this one anime he saw-

He’s so flustered

I’m sorry but he won’t be able to function anywhere near you for the next 2-3 business days

What was that?

Are you some sort of cannibal and he’s your next target?

Did he upset you some how and you were taking your rage out on him?

Eventually may send you a message that asks why you bit him

When you tell him it was out of love he’s broken again

You have to wait another 2-3 business days to hear from Idia again

He will accept it but will be embarrassed and freak out every single time

Not worried about you doing it near people since he’s rarely around other people anyway

Malleus:

w h a t

he's so lost

why are you biting him?

did he do something to offend you?

Do you feel threatened or attacked?

Whatever he’s done he hopes you can forgive him

But why do you bite and then smile at him?

He will calmly ask you why you just bit him

You do it out of love?

He’s now a very happy dragon

He assumes it’s a normal human thing he was unaware of

…this leads to him asking Silver why he never bites anyone

After finding out that it’s out of love, he accepts and loves whenever you bite him

He won’t be ashamed at all even if it’s in front of others

In fact, he kinda wants other people to see so they know just how much you care about him

Malleus wishes he could return the affection but he doesn’t want to bite you in fear of hurting you

His teeth are sharp and he often doesn’t know his own strength so he may bite to hard and accidentally hurt you

He would feel so bad if that happened

Do not let Sebek see you bite Malleus under any circumstances

That’s basically asking him to freak out and yell at you for hours

If Sebek sees Malleus accept it tho…he’s dying on the inside and you can see him struggle not to say anything in real time

Note: does Azul taste like octopus? Let me know...for science...

[startswith0]

Okay I'm highlighting Shinran post-confession in London. Gotta appreciate that they're both teenagers in love and feels a little, a lot, awkward after said confession

Me, and my shoujo manga heart : ehehehehehe Hhahahaha YAASSSSSSSS YAAAAAASSSSSSSSSS

Ran spacing out because what the heck happened? Wh a t...

Then there's Shinichi who's feeling kinda embarrassed at his own outburst confession. And then they're both too embarrassed to see each other!

Until there's a point where Shinichi gotta go see Kogoro and Ran himself anyway because they can't solve the code via phone calls like that because Shinichi being Shinichi, his detecting mode always usually in the end trumps his other emotions

But Aoyama-sensei chickened out and said we can't have romance budding too fast in this 700 odd chapters manga yet, so we'll have Conan back instead

Ran xD did she sleep at all the night before after the confession lol

Embarrassed Shinichi :3

He even asked Prof Agasa to answer Ran's call lmao these cutiessssss. Shinichi full on blushing the entire time whenever he's thinking of Ran ehe

Ran standing there blushing and her dad is Annoyed xD

Then Ran gotta prepare her heart to see Shinichi in person x3

Well gotta insert the confession scene ofc

Ran : Shinichi baka!!

Shinichi : idk what you're talking about i LIKE YOU SO MUCH.

Ran and Shinichi : *cue all the blushes*

How... Did Ran managed to get back to the hotel afterwards? In a daze? Did Shinichi walk her back? What was the conversation after that? Aaaaahhhhhhh THEMMMMM 💙💙🌸🌸

Side note : after a short cursory research, I couldn't find the raws to the confession scene so I'm not sure if Shinichi said the word suki (romantically liking someone) like they usually do when confessing, I'm guessing the sentence is something in that manner, so I'm going off of my knowledge of other mangas and little japanese i know lol

[stoutguts]

Autistic/neurodivergent 👻 (💀🧼 too bc why not/it's my comfort ship and I love them)

(chock full my own personal HCs and ideas, also mental health stuff/issues/problems heyo)

CW: brief mentions of s*icide/s*icidal ideation

I have a lot more to say about this freak, than pretty boy, ADHD brain rotted Johnny, so let’s get into it‼️‼️

Ghost is socially awkward as all hell with actual negative rizz, whether platonically or romantically. Most people write him off as weird, creepy, or scary, though that's also part of his charm and mystique for some reason.

Autistic, (and it's painfully obvious lmao). Special interests include Skyrim, DND, Bloodborne, Dark Souls, Elden Ring, The Witcher, etc. An absolute sweat, so it’s absurdly good at the games too. Also owns a ridiculous amount of merch pertaining to these games, from t-shirts to fucking coffee mugs. Their eyes will positively light up whenever they get the chance to geek out, and will talk your ear off about it. Soap always listening to it's nerdy rants, as he just loves to hear Simon talk no matter what it’s about. But, also because he’s always so eager to learn about what his partner likes or is interested in. Every now and then it'll get Johnny to join them for a round of DND or watch him play Skyrim or some other game, or even other members of the 1-4-1. And even though Soap and the others aren't nearly as experienced and well-versed in these games as Ghost is, they still both/all have a lot of fun. Outside of video games, they’re also obsessed with marine life and sea creatures. They're especially fond of sharks, he has a large collection of stuffed sharks/shark plushies in fact. Each with their own individual names that he loves dearly. Can't sleep without at least one plushie or shark, and sleeps with a different one each night, cycling through them. They also love to visit aquariums and the beach, and it has encyclopedic knowledge when it comes to most underwater creatures or marine mammals you can think of. He loves to show this off via party trick, or of course, just for the sake of rambling about it. It owns entire books on just sharks or marine life, and is obssessed with watching nature doctumentaries, whether it's on sea or land creatures.

Speaking of his fascination with marine life...He even keeps a few Ranchu goldfish as pets that it bought online from a breeder, (as Ranchu goldfish are one of it’s favorite fish/favorite breeds of goldfish). It thinks of them as it’s own children, and does it’s due diligence and research to provide them with the best care possible, (plus a beautifully decorated tank). Their names are Wotsit, Tangy, and Oswald. Wotsit and Oswald are males, Wotsit is red and black, and Oswald is a "calico" Ranchu. While, Tangy is female, and is orange and white.

At first, Johnny can't for the life of him understand what makes a goldfish, (fish being some of the most boring pets in the world in his humble opinion), so appealing as a pet. But he sees how happy the fish make Simon, so he doesn't really question it, just leaving it at "if they’re happy, than I guess that's all that really matters". Though the more Ghost talks about them with so much excitement and affection for it’s little fishy friends, the more Soap begins to appreciate them and kind of grow attached to them in his own way.

Simon stims by bouncing his legs, pacing, flapping their hands, or grinding his teeth (had to get braces and later a retainer to fix their teeth because of this). It used to mainly stim by rocking back and forth as a child, and he still does it from time to time to help calm himself, or for comfort when they need it. It also likes to walk on their tiptoes,—(he has exceptionally strong legs and calfs because of this habit),—especially when walking up or down stairs.

This detail is more just a general personality trait of his but whatever—

They are very expressive, (Johnny finds it absolutely adorable). Which is something not a lot of people know about him, as when the situation calls for it or when they need to get it together, he has excellent control over his emotions. A sensitive crybaby, and is a very emotional person. Quite literally can’t help it.

Ghost often has a hard time understanding other people or what they're feeling due to his autism. They're not heartless by any means, and it tries it's best to understand, but most times they unintentionally come off as insensitive or mean. He’s also brutally honest with people and never lies.

Simon needs constant reassurance due to their often low self-esteem, and Johnny is more than happy to provide that for him. Always praising them and telling them that he’s handsome, that he’s enough, that he’s perfect, and that he’s such a good boy.

(Speaking of Soap praising him, Ghost has a praise kink, to which Johnny is also more than happy to indulge. Though will occasionally use it’s kink against it, such as openly giving it praise during missions. Which Simon is always embarrassed, and seemingly hates it, but in actuality it’s the hottest thing ever).

That he loves them more than anything in the whole wide world, and would not trade him for anything. That he’d never lie, or cheat on him, (and he’s proven time and time again that he’s a man of his word). That it is his “forever” and nothing can change that.

The fact that Johnny is always so considerate of it’s needs touches Simon so deeply, as none of it’s past partners had ever been so respectful. Warming their heart, and it only continues to deepen the love he has for his partner. 💖

Ghost has a rescue German Shepherd named Riley. They love the dog to death, brings him everywhere with them. Simon especially likes to always take Riley with him when they go out jogging or for a run, or whenever they just feel like walking around the neighborhood to clear their head. The two are joined at the hip, not only because they’re incredibly attached to each other...But because Riley is trained as an emotional support animal for PTSD and anxiety-related reasons, and is also a medical alert service dog. Regarding not only some pretty nasty asthma, but he’s got some hereditary cardiovascular/heart issues that could prove to be a real problem.

Simon can't really live without him.

Riley is formerly both a fighting and military dog, they took him as their personal pooch, after no other handlers would work with him due to aggression issues. He has stunning green eyes and a beautiful black and tan coat. Though he's a bit mangy. With Ghost having handmade a leather spiked collar and a chain leash to match his overall ruggedness, though Riley's personality couldn't be farther from his tough exterior. Simon has re-trained and re-socialized him very well, and has helped him to unlearn his past temperament/behavior. Good with kids and other dogs and animals, loves people and attention. Though still has just enough bite left in him to be protective and to act as a guard dog for him and Johnny, always at the ready in case something happens. Which in Ghost's eyes is highly important and appreciated in a dog.

Riley's past history really tugged on Simon's heartstrings, so he has dedicated himself to pampering his dog. Getting him the best dog food money can buy, always looking out for a new toy for him when he goes to the store, etc. Riley often will sleep in between Ghost and Soap or at the foot of their bed.

Ghost struggles with PTSD and generalized anxiety disorder (GAD). His PTSD stems from his traumatic childhood. While his anxiety is mostly a by-product of his PTSD and trauma, as well as something born from the stress of being in the military, and learning to always be on the alert, never at ease. Though both seem to be somewhat tied to his autism as well.

They have panic attacks regularly, (which can be very dangerous because of his asthma, having to carry an inhaler on him at all times). (Plus, his heart condition is heavily affected by stress, which he’s treated/medicated for, but can still pose a risk). Flashbacks occur more often than not, (their flashbacks mostly happen in their sleep, as nightmares and night terrors).

Johnny is really the only one who knows of their past and mental health. (On all government mandated material, it’s intentionally left vague. The most it recognizes is that Ghost was born in Manchester, that his father's got a lengthy criminal record, and his capture and extensive torture by Roba).

As they don’t really talk about themselves that much, half because they’d rather not bring up such painful memories, and half for the fact he doesn’t really want other people knowing his business. Either that, or it's just that either no one ever really cared to know, or people weren't stubborn (or stupid) enough to press on it further, (apart from Johnny of course).

Soap is incredibly understanding and patient, therefore, it was very easy to open up to him. (Simon still finds that Johnny's the only person he's super comfortable opening up to, but also it opens up to and overshares with Roach every now and then). Johnny has a strange sort of calming effect on Ghost. Soap being an expert on how to get Simon to relax. Even when Ghost has a whole-ass service dog, (who also happens to be registered as an emotional support animal too), for this exact reason and purpose—But, Johnny frankly doesn't give a fuck. He wants it to know that he’s there for them, and that he cares deeply for him. Simon appreciating his fawning over him, and him taking care of them greatly.

Simon also has major depressive disorder (MDD), having struggled with such since childhood, and battles with suicidal ideation/thoughts on the daily.

They have actually even attempted quite a few times in the past. (Fun fact, the closest he’d ever come to successfully killing himself, was when Soap had gone into a months long coma after having been nearly killed by Makarov).

He’ll have depressive episodes that can last from days, to weeks, to months, sometimes being borderline debilitating and/or incapacitating. Soap tries to always be there for it during hard times, and this is no exception. He tries to provide him with what they may need, whether it’s a bit of humor to get it’s mind off things, or consolation after a long day, or maybe a hug, or one of their favorite snacks from the grocery store.—All Ghost has to do is ask, but usually Johnny always knows what he needs without a word being said between them.

Ghost goes to therapy regularly, and it does help a lot, (as they’ve got a fantastic therapist, having provided them with tools that have helped to save their skin on more than a few occasions). Though unfortunately despite this,—he’ll never be completely happy or stable. But that’s fine and is something it can live with, as long as he has Soap by their side and other people to support him. 💖

And last but not least…All members of the 1-4-1 having highly specific phobias? Yes please!

As for Ghost…

He is deathly afraid of thunderstorms/has major Astraphobia, as it triggers flashbacks regarding his father’s physical abuse. Simon is about the most vulnerable you’ll ever see him during a thunderstorm, they can’t do anything but curl up into a ball and sob and shake. He’s even pissed himself from fear on a few occasions after a particularly loud clap of thunder. Soap always tries to make sure he’s by their side when bad weather is soon to come, even planning his schedule around it (if he can), or rushes home to it in the event of a storm. If they end up having an accident he’ll help to clean them up. Cuddling with him, holding them and having Ghost clinging to him while they cry into his shoulder, attempting to soothe him with lovely words and a gentle touch.

They are also afraid of bugs/have major entomophobia, their entire squad teases and makes fun of them for it, (including Johnny lmao). Though it’s all in good fun, and if Simon ever encounters a single solitary insect…It’s got comfort in knowing their buddies and Soap are there for them, and will protect them. :3 (Idk, I just think it would be hilarious that this grim reaper looking ahh mf, 6’0 or taller brick shithouse of a man, is afraid of a fly getting too close to him).

I really need to gather up my hcs for Gaz and Price and write them down, I love those two as much as Ghost and Soap…I also wanna write shit about NikPrice, bc that’s like my favorite COD ship next to GhostSoap…hrmmm

[monstrouslyobsessed]

A tribe composed only of men in a tropical forest. They are cannibals and eat members of other tribes and trespassers. Reader and her group was captured and since the chef and the other members found her cute and breedable, they decided to not eat her and make her the "mother" of the tribe. Thanks! —anonymous

—a/n: hm, im a lil iffy doing this one due to potential xenophobia and cultural insensitivity (regardless of what one may think of certain customs, the tribes who inspired this such suggestion are still people who deserve a measure of respect), so i’ll be changing the species and incorporate it in my beastfolk au instead to hopefully avoid offending anyone.

also, this turned into a fic (plus me making it into beastfolk au so no claiming without permission) lmao so not really a concept anymore. sorry about that! im keeping the format tho.

also, I wanna make a note for you for the asterisk marking in the tag list. the word i made up (Ce’ne, specifically) basically meant both ‘mother’ and ‘father’ and can be passed as gender neutral, to have/give children. to be safe though, im marking it as gendered language.

—tw / tags: gn reader, brief use of gendered language*, language barrier, injuries, horror, implied maneating, gore, multiple deaths, implied trespassing, implied beastfolk trafficking, kidnapping, confinement, body painting, teratophilia, exophilia, general yandere themes, sfw? —readers are advised to read at their own discretion.

—featured character(s): the jaguars tribe / the ‘Jags’, the Scarred One —word count: 2.1k

—this is part of my beastfolk universe! —zoo era.

Everything hurts, especially the excruciating pain in your back. It felt as though your flesh had been flayed and then set ablaze, the agony akin to acid being poured into open wounds. You groggily dragged your eyes open with a whimper choked out from your dusty throat. Needles of numbness buzzed on your damp skin and the only sound you could hear was the pounding of your own heart in your ears.

It was dark when you came to, but not pitch-black as you could see thin gaps of light creeping through wherever you were currently. The flickering golden light was in a constant motion, casting dancing shadows across the space. You could smell a smoky scent of burning wood and the air was heavy and damp, hanging on your skin like a winter blanket. Your brain was still groggy and the answers to where you were and why, were not forthcoming.

At hearing your groans, someone hissed out for your attention, “—! —! Are you okay!?” They kept their voice low, as if they were trying to avoid alerting anyone outside the threshold you were placed in.

You could barely see with the blur of pain fogging your eyes, but you slowly shook your head, “I…I don’t know.” You desperately searched for the owner of that voice, but you found nothing but a shifting blob of shadow some feet away from you. You couldn’t move, your arms tied to what felt like a wooden pole and your ankles bounded together with bushy ropes. Your head was ringing loudly and you moaned, “Wh—what happened?”

“T-the d-director fucked over all of us, —!” Their reply was edged with a sense of betrayal, “He was one of ‘em fuckin’ zoo hunters, using us to get close to the Jags—!”

Fuck. You remembered with a contorted grimace. As an up-and-coming researcher with a vested interest in studying the feral beastfolks and animals, you had ambitions and dreams realized. You had been honored to have encountered and even personally met a handful of tribal people. Although It was no grand merit, you learned enough about their customs and languages to set up a survey to map out the possible locations of local tribes.

As you’d learned, this knowledge was a dangerous thing to have.

The director must have been after a specific tribe of the feral beastfolk; the whiskeredfolks with ringed spots in their golden fur that you and your colleagues had nicknamed 'Jags.'. Unlike the timid, long-legged tribe you had befriended with and the one with thick-maned people with whom you had more tenuous relationships with, this particular one was notorious for being dangerous and killing the outsiders on sight.

Without a doubt, you and your expedition group had flown too close to the sun and got burned for it. Despite your frequent warnings, the so-called director convinced everyone to take just a 'few steps closer' to the Jags’ territory. In a blink, all hell’s broke loose.

You remembered the sound of roaring and the sight of bodies scantily clad in animal skins launching themselves at you and your people, weapons in hand. You felt a searing pain in your back and then darkness consumed you. The last thing you saw was gruesome, with a spear tearing through a fellow researcher’s chest.

The vision still burned within your mind’s eye and tears stung your bruised cheeks.

“S—shit,” You dug the soles of your bare feet (what happened to your boots?) into the wet dirt and thumped your head against the wooden pole. You tried counting what you could see, but there was only one. “w-where is everyone else?”

Your colleague went quiet. The jeering laughter and a sole human shrieking followed your question. The screaming sounded suspiciously like the director’s—and your blood went cold when that cry abruptly ended to a gurgle.

The shadow blob nodded, their motion solemn in the darkness, “We made him confessed when ‘ey tossed us in here when you were still out. Since ‘en,  ‘em cats started picking us clean one by one. ‘e bastard was the first one to go, probably because he’s big and meaty.”

You caught a hitched breath and heard them shuddering, “We’re ‘e last ones. Why didn’t we listen to you?” Your colleague choked.

Why didn’t they, you’d wonder about this for the rest of your remaining life, but now, your brain could barely function with your back throbbing in pain. You could feel the back of your shirt being soaked through with your warm blood and your body slowly going cold. With a rasping breath, you rolled over your heavy head to your fellow researcher, “H—hey, at least…at least we’re dying doing what we loved, right?”

It was a shit joke, but it was enough to get them to snort.

“Hopefully ‘ey’d put us out quicker ‘an what ‘ey did to ‘e bastard.” They mumbled.

A whispering flap of the tent’s entryway fluttered.

A flickering light blinded you, casting shadows across the dark enclosure and preventing you from seeing who had entered. Several footsteps grinding into the dirt and a brief warmth pressed against your knees. You heard a mumbling in another language, oddly approving, and a short shuffling from where your colleague was.

The light was gone and you found yourself alone in the suffocating darkness. With a slow groan, you braced for your inevitable end, hoping that at least everyone in your group had met a quick demise.

Sans that fucker of a director who lured you all into a death trap.

You closed your eyes, not expecting to see another day.

When you woke up, you saw the daylight creeping inside the gaps of the woven palm leaves and blinked in confusion. When you turned your head, you realized you were resting on a soft bedding, of dried leaves and colorful fabrics, and was staring at the knitted canopy. Weren’t you tied up to a support pole earlier, with your back gaping and bleeding?

A moan tumbled out from your lips. From the corner of your eyes, you saw movement and you jerked when a voice bellowed not too far away from you. As if they were raising an alarm—or calling for someone’s attention. Fear struck your heart—

And you so wanted to move. Your body was too stiff and your muscles soft from exhaustion and strains from your injuries. Absently, your skin itched and you somehow found enough strength to glance down your body.

You swallowed thickly at your current state.

Where had your clothes gone? Why were you half naked and wearing patterned animal skins? Why had they tended to you at all?

On your skin, leaves and odd colored globs were plastered over your injuries. Why had they spared you?

“R’oa,” a deep voice entered your ears and drenched your spine with a shiver.

Hello, you absently translated from knowing some of the local common tongue. You slowly rolled your head over and blinked at the sight of the kneeling figure. Your heart jumped to your throat when it dawned on you on who he may be.

His face and body were marked with striking decorations of rosettes and bright painted patterns you recognized as his people’s custom. He wore ornate accessories, including a heavy ring through his flared nostrils, to signify his rank in the tribe. Towering over you with ease, he was large and his presence nothing but raw power and his naked torso coiled with rippling muscles.

But, none of his features stood out as much as his scars littering his skin—and one of which had left a long, jagged  pit down his cheek and left his eye an striking grey hue. He was a well fought warrior, perhaps the best in his tribe.

Without a doubt, you were in the presence of one true predator.

Shakily, you nodded with a quiet return of his foreign language.

He seemed pleased by how submissive you were being.

There were no other option left but to humor the person who could easily shallow you whole in several gulps.

“*Canu zuhs nu i'ars nuus nil zuazsu.” He grasped on your forearm, the pads on his palm were coarse and hard on your skin, and tugged you off your bed.

Come...meet…people? You groggily tried to translate, as you went along with the whiskeredfolk’s whim. A yelp darted from your lips, when he swung you into the crook of his arm and pain rung around your eyes from the sudden movement and your injuries feeling like they were being split open once more.

“Tuil i'asu uhrthisus, ilai rsizuhs ail!”  Another voice snarled out, and you flinched as you distantly heard a slap on the whiskeredfolk's person. You glanced upward and saw him wearing a crossed brow.

Injured…that was all you understood from their exchange.

With his ears folded back to his skull, the scarred male grumbled something back to the owner of the other voice. He quietened at the growling reply, and you still trembled from the way his voice seemed to burrow deep inside your skin. You could feel his foreign words through his chest, vibrating into your aching ribs.

The other voice sounded feminine, possibly aged, and you wondered if they were the one who had nursed you back to health. You had no energy to crane your head over the scarred one’s bicep to see, catching a brief glimpse of a strange hood over their head.

The scarred one took you outside, pushing the flap aside, and you winced at how bright the dabbled sunlight was. When your eyes readjusted, you blinked and regretted every decision you’d ever made in your life. Your stomach curdled at the sight and your nose stung.

Within the ashy pit, still smoking from the previous night’s bonfire, black skeletal remains hung on their respective stakes. There was little meat left on their bones and their skulls were missing. You did not wish to dwell on why and ripped away your tearful eyes from your colleagues’ bodies.

Why were you spared?

Oh, gods, the stench in the air was foul, smelling like burnt meat and melted plastic. Smothering your hands over your lower face, you gagged the exact moment the scarred male barked out. You grimaced, trying to make sense of the words he shouted out.

“Mil zuazsu, I si'ass izar suu!”

People, call.

You were so distracted by the gruesome sight that you hadn’t realized how quiet the settlement was. Initially, the only whiskeredfolks you could see were several teenage males, looking at you with curiosity in their eyes.

When you blinked, more whiskeredfolks emerged from their homes at the scarred one’s call. They quickly surrounded you, keeping a respectable distance, their eyes burning holes into your bare skin. Some had hunger in their gazes, others quiet rage, and a few were wide-eyed and curious.

You gazed across your whiskered audience, noting their muscular body shapes, and realized that most were males. You could count the females with both hands, and a sense of dread sank into your stomach. Instinctively, you knew why you were spared, but your mind screamed in denial.

The scarred one thumped his feet and swished his tail, “Tu Ce’ne phsi'asus ir i'asus i'a sarph si'ars!” His tone was exuberant, eager, and his tribe erupted in an excited murmur.

You furrowed your brows, but you could only understand Ce’ne, which meant both Mother and Father. But, who was Ce’ne?

He jostled you to your feet and kept a grip on you when you wobbled. The scarred one leaned over you, his jagged teeth beaming in the sunlight. “Na nasu zuhss ais zuazsu rius suhsssurr,”

You jumped as the entire tribe erupted in a loud roar of joy. Their eyes glittered with delight and you could feel your fear intensifying. You felt colder than you were back in the throes of blood loss from the night before. Your heart shuddered at the way they looked at you.

“sa szuhrssu zuhsais i'a Ce’ne sa phsi'ars ir sir!” the scarred one finished and clapped both of his large claws on your shoulders. He herded you closer to the mass, as if to showcase every inch of you.

Grant us cubs. That was all you could make out from what the scarred male said. Your eyes widened at the realization and a strangled whimper rose from your parched throat.

There was no escaping this, was there?

You couldn't move as the weight of the leader bore down on your shoulders, his talons cutting into your skin. Tears welled up in your eyes as a hooded female appeared with a strangely shaped bowl in her hands. You were shaking like a leaf, when she dipped her fingers into the dark, coagulated liquid within.

You sobbed the moment she smeared the tribe’s pattern onto your exposed chest, as if marking you as their property.

The Ce’ne. You were the Ce’ne.

—end

fictional translation: Canu zuhs nu i'ars nuus nil zuazsu. —Come with me and meet my people.

Tuil i'asu uhrthisus, ilai rsizuhs ail! —They are injured, you stupid boy!

Mil zuazsu, I si'ass izar suu! —My people, I call upon thee!

Tu Ce’ne phsi'asus ir i'asus i'a sarph si'ars! —The Mother/Father graced us after a long last! Na nasu zuhss ais zuazsu rius suhsssurr, sa szuhrssu zuhsais i'a Ce’ne sa phsi'ars ir sir! —No more will our people suffer childless, to dwindle without a mother/father to grant us cubs!

[scatteredcloud]

I don’t read a ton of fanfiction but I don’t mind labru as a ship and I like longing and devotion and erotic bloodletting, use this as an excuse to infodump if you like, convince me to read :3

You have no idea the can of worms you have unleashed thank you so so much

Ok so disclaimers :

1. NSFW. Naturally.

2. Bloodletting may be putting it diplomatically. It’s blood sucking. Vampire horny style but no one is a actually vampire.

The fic takes place in the post cannon, with Kabru serving as Laios’s royal advisor. Their professional relationship has put them in proximity of each other near constantly, and the simmering obsession that Kabru has had about Laios through the story reaches a boiling point when Laios reveals that he’s become (monstrously) obsessed with Kabru.

What gets me (aside from just like. my own sexual proclivities lmao) is the imo perfect Kabru characterization. I think a lot of people misunderstand what drives him and so when they write him it feels kind of odd. Kabru isn’t a manipulator,in t like abusive sense but he is a…social engineer. And a compulsive liar. And obsessed with Laios. He’s a nice guy, but acts amicable helpful and friendly to mask his social engineering.

This fic really gets that Kabru will say things, not without meaning them, but some part of him projects an image of cool confidence and he will act subconsciously to maintain that mask - in the interest of furthering his own goals. Those goals in this fic happen to be finding plausible ways to be intimate with Laios while maintaining some sort of professional veneer. It also employs a very subtle head cannon of him dealing with intrusive thoughts (kill Laios) in a way that I find pretty authentic and endearing as someone who also deals w intrusive thoughts.

And Laios. Again, characterization is really on point. This fic plays up the like chimeraization of Laios, and it takes his hunger seriously in a way that I think a lot of other fics and the main storyline often play for laughs. It’s about the need for satiation and satisfaction, but never feeling fulfilled. His desire disgusts him, because he’s been told it should, and as king he has every thing he could ever want. But he’s still Laios, he’s earnest and truthful and awkward and what he wants is Kabru. Inside of Laios’s appetite (all meanings of the word) is deep shame and inside of that shame is the sensory seeking autism need to feed on food that is forbidden (monsters, Kabru)

Kabru occupies a space in Laios’s life in the post cannon that we don’t really see equivocated in the main story. During the story he certainly cares deeply for his other party members and values their insight 100%. But Kabru is regent to the throne. In the day in day out running a kingdom, Laios is no figurehead but he works intimately (lol) with Kabru to compensate for his lack of social graces. There’s also the like, subtextual bodyguard implications that Laios is perfectly capable of defending himself but Kabru is acutely trained in combat against other humans, making him especially useful to a newly crowned king in danger of assassination. This is what makes me ship them so hard - Kabru’s story long attempt to know Laios combined with the implications of their post cannon positions

This fic really nails desire as narrative tension in romance - the “I want to, but I cant” “I know we shouldn’t, but we are” Not just erotic/romantic desire either, the desire to maintain appearances, the desire to secure a career. This thing is only three chapters (for now 🤞🏼) but the DEPTH of this erotica is fucking hngdbbsbdbcbcndndbgjgkfkdkdbd

I don’t know when the entire fandom decided Kabru is a trans man but I do like it despite my contrarian impulses. It’s worked in so naturally and I love that its never made A Thing (I don’t even think it’s tagged for it which is what made it a nice surprise in this fic). When Kabru gets hot and bothered it’s discussed in exactly the way that I experience it which makes me just :] yayyyyyyy

This fic brings out the like, service top-ness of Laios also. I’m of the opinion that there’s not a clear top/bottom dynamic between them so I hesitate to put it in those terms but this fic gets that Kabru’s social engineering extends to the bedroom - he knows he can exploit Laois’s earnestness and takes advantage of that leverage

Anyways. I really really should be asleep. My nightly routine has been getting home from work. Lay down. Kick my feet and sigh dreamily about Kabru and Laios for hours so thank you again for indulging me

[romanticatheartt]

What do you think Rhys is referring to when he said Nesta is an Illyrian at heart in acofas? He says it’s a compliment but then he says that because of that, there is no excuse for her behavior. Is the behavior he is referring to how she treated Feyre? What would being an Illyrian at heart have to do with that?? It’s just something I was confused on while rereading acofas.

Note: I read these books more than 1.5 years ago and only reread the first book in February so I don't have enough evidence and what I'm saying is from what I remember. If anyone has a better answer to this I would love to hear it. My opinion is based on my own understanding so you don't have to agree<3

This is a very interesting question, one that I've never paid attention to before and it's the first time I noticed, because all this time I thought Rhysand meant she has a warrior soul, and later on, she got an Illyrian mate and now is warrior/Valkyrie. And it still can be interpreted as such but like I said I forgot in what context he said it, so I read that scene again:

And it reminded me of this scene:

People obviously got mad at this and told Mor to "get off her high horse" but they never bothered to stop and think why would she say it in the first place and what impression Nesta gave, for her to reach this conclusion.

The first time Mor and Nesta talk in acowar, Mor tries to be hospitable toward her and make friends with her. That's her personality, she did the same with Feyre as well.

But Nesta, instead of not saying anything at all if she's not in the mood for friendship, decides to question Mor's choice of dress. (in my vocabulary this is called sl*t shaming. Nesta was shaming Mor for her choice of dress) Now who also shamed Mor for her choice of lifestyle? Her father, Keir, who lives in the Court of Nightmare. She lived the first few years of her life there as well and she knows how those people are.

I also want to point to this scene at how CoN treat the women:

I know a while back people were "criticizing" Rhys for dressing Feyre like a "wh*re" (???) and asking why he got mad when Keir called her that... I'm not even gonna bother to prove how wrong and far from canon is but... I, personally, don't go around, looking people up and down and shaming them for the choice of their dress. A woman can be naked and I wouldn't call her *names* but ig that's just me... continuing:

Mor sees Nesta's behavior and the first thing she probably thinks of, is how her family treated her and still does. And from that stage of the book we don't see her being nice to Nesta at all. Nesta triggered something in her and that changed her opinion of her for the rest of the series.

Now Mor's reaction to Nesta is quite similar to Rhys'.

When Feyre asks why he's ok with Elain and not Nesta, he answers "Elain is Elain." Because she doesn't trigger anything for him. She just exists in his house and doesn't bother him or more importantly, his mate. On the other hand, he has witnessed how Nesta treats Feyre and his brother. How she's verbally abusing them.

And if you noticed Rhys was just like Mor when he met Nesta, He was polite. Because he had no reason not to be. But that changed the moment Nesta showed how she act towards Feyre.

I don't have any text evidence of this because I couldn't find it but I remember how Rhys said he was never respected among Illyrians. They're afraid of him and cowards, yes but he has heard the names they call him. They couldn't physically hurt him but they never stopped verbally expressing their feeling toward him. He was bullied by them. They called him "bastard" and "half-breed".

See, Nesta behaved toward both Rhys and Mor, the same way the people they hate so much and have bad memories of, did. Nesta reminds them of the people who gave them these traumas. Rhys hates Illyrians and Mor hates CoN citizens. I just realized both Rhys and Feyre have the same childhood trauma... God, they really are the same person lmao

So when Rhys says Nesta is an Illyrian and there's no excuse for her actions, it's because he sees Illyrians as hateful and full of rage creatures and there's no reason behind why they behave the way they do. And let's be honest that's how Nesta showed herself. I know some people will say he didn't understand and YES he didn't!! It's not his job to know what's wrong with her. The opposite can be said about her sisters and mate that they should've guessed but that's debatable. It's why later on we see how Nesta is full of anger and hatred and why she's the way she is because she explained it herself, we were in her pov and got to understand her.

And him saying "it's a compliment" can means that he can see some good in them, like his brothers. His mother and sister. He just hates their culture, their mindset that he's been trying to change for centuries and I think Nesta reminded him so much of them. That's why what he said is contrary of each other.

Anyway I think this is the only explanation because I don't see any other conclusion as to why he said that. But like I said if you have other things to add or disagree I would love to hear your thoughts. Sorry if I got carried away with Mor, I wanted to show the similarity in these two situations and have an example to explain better :D

Thank you anon for trusting me to answer your question lol I tried to answer as best as I could, I hope it helped with the confusion<33

[pandoraroid]

listening to vincent's playlist and it is an,,, experience,,,

take this all with a grain of salt pls dont come @ me

to quote a comment from this video: the fact that we know what's coming makes this both terrifying and heartbreaking. couldnt have said it better than myself 😔😔😔😔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

i love him so much,,, he tries to distract the listener,,, he tries to comfort them so bad soshksjsks HE'S SO SWEET AND EVERYTHING

"do you wanna hold my hand?" HAND IN MARRIAGE SIR? SURE

he is an adrenaline junkie i need a man like him in my life he's just like me fr

"one last ride, right?" NO 👹 S T O P DONT BREAK MY HEART LIKE THIS

though how is he the only rider they never found??? what how did he get dislodged from his seat or something??? i must be dumb i dont get this all of a sudden 🧍‍♀️

love the intro 😚 the messages on the cassette tapes are so heartwarming and reassuring djgdjdhd

okay that "boo" actually scared the shit out of me is it safe to assume that this is the same amusement park he was in in the previous video?

if that's the case, does he just,,, chill in here at random??? god that is so,,,

"demons(?) are very much real" BRO ARE WE SUPPOSE TO KNOW THAT?

"oh i know i'm close. you're welcome" WHEWWWWWW JESUS FUCK LORD GIVE ME STRENGTH

"little one" okay fuck i'm melting YOUR VOICE SIR got me kicking my feet and blushing fr

lovely has an attitude 😁😁 stay strong soldier

he calls them beautiful AND DARLING? even if it was a bit of a throwaway JESUS 🫠

"your safety is paramount" "be safe, little one. good night." why does this make him so much hotter jesus what is wrong with me HE EVEN LEADS THEM BACK TO THEIR CAR (bareminimumenjoyer?!?! me?!?!? look away)

"you're not looking for another paranormal hunk are you? that would break my heart :(" SIR

no seriously why is bro here

"foreplay takes two y'know" SIR

is he getting them to believe in the supernatural what what is his goal,,,

"should i strip down for easier access, doctor?" WRAP IT UP

his voice omfg immelting just imagining the scene,,, onlovely'sbedbeingclosewithhimohmyfuckinggod

he's so goofy for just tapping on his fangs like that lmao

DID HE JUST PIN THEM DOWN TO THE BED WH A T

SIR WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT DID HE SERIOUSLY NEARLY JUST???? WHA T

"no one has had this effect on me" NO SHIT????

"you're safe with me. i won't lose control." thank you for that but if the next video's title is any clue, that will not age well ( i mean you on the other hand don't get to age at all so 🤷‍♀️ IM KIDDING)

"i'm not going to mess this up." you won't babes (at least i think you wont) i'd give anything to give him a hug or something

WHO THE FUCK IS THIS BITCH THIS ISNT MY MAN

oh the warnings 😃 mentally preparing myself now

lovely what the fuck are we doing here

"beautiful little bloodbag" oh hey a pale sleazy talking punchbag

"oh relax i'm just touching you" and if i may touch my fist to your face in a fast and strong way, you're gonna relax then bitch

WAIT DID HE TRANCE US???

i am well aware a human is no match for a vampire but that will not stop my audacity to try which dare i say levels up to his for touching me and talking shit about vincent

"all i had to do was wait for your human brain to make a decision this stupid." it seems that your expired vampiric brain has also made the stupid decision to breathe in my direction

to be fair on vincent, we have met each other exactly two times and neither of us (especially him) could have known how our previous meeting would end. i don't need to be near you for five minutes to know you're a little bitch

DID YOUR CONCEPT OF PERSONAL SPACE DIE WITH YOU THE FIRST TIME GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU LITTLE BITCH

MY MAN IS HEREEEEE he's not gonna be mad lovely came here is he

HE PUNCHED HIM HAHAHAHA he did it for me fr

HIS VOICE GOD am so weak for him

MAKING OUT WITH US ALREADY??? GOOD GOD

lovely checking on him too ☹️☹️☹️ my goober fr

"i dont think you're gonna like what you found" oh dang you're like me for real

MY MAN

the way he says "little one" will never not get to me omg AND THEN HE SAID BABY IN THAT VOICE??? GOD

vamp eyes go black when theyre hungry(?) got it noted

so lovely got tranced and vincent is needs to feed on them right after???? did i get that right??? GOOD GOD GIVE EM A BREAK???

"i cant drink from your neck... no not yet not like this..." PROPS TO HIM FOR HAVING PROPRIETY LOVE MY MAN FR

"this will mark you as mine" GIVE IT HERE but at the same time ALREADY????

oh good lord he's feeding from our wrists now okay

hang in there lovely patpat u're gonna be okay (i hope they will be VINCENT)

aw those little kisses though

noooooo vincent 😭???

neways,,,

jfc these two put me on a ride (haha get it)

vincent is slowly becoming my new crush 🤭 but jfc lovely better get good u got this babes

will stop here for now bc i need a break 🧍‍♀️ when will i continue who knows

[underworld-park-offical]

Episode 1

TOLKIEN: What in the world are you doing?

CRAIG: Posting on Snapchat

TOLKIEN: What the fuck, why?

CRAIG: These followers ain't gonna get themselves

TOLKIEN: Shut the actual fuck up you fucking Supreme Yeezy wearing- CRAIG: No <3

TOLKIEN: Boy kisser

CRAIG: Gaywad

KYLE: Can you guys stop fighting oh my fucking god

CRAIG: It's my house and I'm high as balls, I do what I want

KYLE: You sound like Cartman

CRAIG: I will  kick you out

TOLKIEN: Do it, no balls

CRAIG: I wasn’t talking to you, girl kisser

TOLKIEN: You know I'm dating Clyde you dumb bitch

CLYDE: Hi :)

CRAIG: Whatever, how do we play this game?

STAN: Okay, plot twist, we don’t play this dumbass kids' game, and go to bed like normal people

TOLKIEN: It's not a kids game, Stan, eat my shorts

STAN: First of all, no, that's gay

STAN: Second, this is from fucking HASBRO

STAN: Therefore, it's for kids

JIMMY: I- I've seen this in m-m-m-m-m-movies, be-before. I-I think it w-w-was m-m-m-my l-l-l-l-little p-pony

CLYDE: Man… I always wondered what friendship could be

CRAIG (deadpan): My little pony…

TOLKIEN: I hate you all

TOLKIEN: You put your hands on the planchette–

CARTMAN: Oh yes, sir douchengaurd the great, we ALL know what that  is

CARTMAN: Speak in English (disrespectfully)

TOLKIEN: Kill yourself

CARTMAN: I'm telling my Twitter stans about this

STAN: I'm not on Twitter

CARTMAN: OH MY GODDDD not you  you fucking rejected Weezer member!

CARTMAN: Nevermind, I'm telling REDDIT

TOLKIEN: Can we just play the game, please?

JIMMY: Wh-wh-why do y-you w-w-wanna play it so bad?

JIMMY: HMMMMMM???

JIMMY: Q-queermo… wh-whatcha tryna g-g-get everyone t-to do h-huh?

STAN: Bro wants everyone to hold hands apparently

KYLE: It's like a My Little Pony circle, my favorite (unironical bozo)

TOLKIEN: ….

TOLKIEN: (Why did I even come here)

KENNY: Can we get to the game, please?

KENNY: The whole point of a sleepover is to get high and do dumb shit

KENNY: TO THE DUMB SHIT, FOR GOOD AND– (Falling sound) …I'M OKAY!

CRAIG: Kenny, do a dance on the table, it’ll look so cool for my Instagram

KENNY: BET…… for twenty dollars I'll do it

CRAIG: ….Shit I don't have twenty dollars

KENNY: LMAO LOSER

TOLKIEN: ….Put your hands on the only  thing on the board, for the love of god

TOLKIEN: You guys literally suck ass

CLYDE: D:

TOLKIEN: Not you, Clyde

CLYDE: :D

(EDITS MADE BY: @pissblanket)

[lian-fang-zun]

Having trouble sleeping: ZCG x Reader

Foreword Note:

Does this even,,, count as a fill lmao...I just got inspired by one of @nasuversekinkmeme's older prompts to write a reader insert fic with FSR Zheng Chenggong in FGO's setting and the reader character ended up being a bit thirsty lol... Anyway, uh. Zheng Chenggong is probably also a little OOC even by my usual standards of 'imagining how different he'd be as a Servant compared to his FSR appearance based on historical records' characterization for him, mostly for self-indulgence reasons orz.

-

“[Y/N].”

It was one thing to be awoken by literally anyone else, or any other Servant for that matter – Mash included. But to be woken up by him… It was a surefire way to jolt awake from your state of near-sleep at least, blinking rapidly in an attempt to get the spots out of your line of vision.

Though, being able to focus on Zheng Chenggong’s expression to your side was not…exactly an improvement. Mostly because you immediately felt blood rush to your face upon realizing that he must have seen your hair in disarray, and probably the trail of drool out of the corner of your mouth – something you hastily tried to wipe away when you realized.

“Wh-What…?” you mumbled somewhat defensively, straightening up under the intensity of his stare. “I only fell asleep…”

“And not at your bed, [Y/N],” he replied, arms crossed. “Surely you remember that this is not the first time.”

What else could you do but laugh nervously at this? It wasn’t like he was wrong – you’d developed a bad habit of falling asleep in random places ever since you’d joined Chaldea in the first place, and being at Novum Chaldea has hardly done anything to quell it. Irregular schedules when dealing with Singularities and Lostbelts would do that to a person, even setting aside the AP crashes when the adrenaline brought on by using Golden Apples ran dry.

Not that, of course, that was the only reason for the irregular sleep schedule…

Zheng Chenggong promptly – and undoubtedly inadvertently – made this apparent when he suddenly knelt closer to you and rested a hand on your forehead, a slight crease in his brows as he went on, tone hardening, “And with your state like this – [Y/N], go to bed right now. You’re at your limit.”

“O-Or what?” you stammered back, your retort hindered by how flustered you were by the distance having suddenly closed between you two. It was, in some ways, utterly unfair to have Servants who were exceedingly oblivious to the effects their good looks had on the people around them, and Zheng Chenggong was rather unfortunately one of them. “Wh – What are you gonna do if I don’t?”

It was probably not the smartest question to ask someone who could and has ordered executions – many of them, in fact – without batting an eye for his men’s failures. Or someone who had, once, ordered his firstborn son and his principal wife to be executed – even if it was in a fit of madness, and wasn’t even carried through by his executioners. But you weren’t exactly in a state of mind to be rational about this.

And thankfully, as a Servant, Zheng Chenggong had no intention to repeat that sordid part of his history. Instead, he pulled back, regarding you silently for a moment, before reaching over to hoist you up and over his shoulder.

“Wh – !?”

You yelped, flailing on instinct as he stood up, effortlessly carrying you as he made his way to the library exit. Thankfully, nobody – not even Murasaki – was around on the way there to notice, otherwise this would be even more embarrassing. “What are you doing, Zheng – !?”

“Taking you to bed, of course.”

The way he worded it made it evident he had not the slightest inkling how compromising the current position must have looked, with the way his Master was draped over his shoulder. It was honestly almost infuriating that even after all this time, other Servants – like a certain general of Eastern Wu – had better luck flustering Zheng Chenggong than you did.

But then again…this was probably the closest you’ll ever come to the fantasies that played out in your head the few times you were in bed, often keeping you up all night. Seeing your Servants’ parameters was one thing, but experiencing displays of them was another – and of particular interest most of the time was the Strength parameter.

And B was a particularly high rank for Strength, after all…especially for a Heroic Spirit who was from the 17th century…

In fact, you were so caught up in wondering what else he could do with a high Strength parameter that you didn’t notice when he’d stopped at the side of your bed to deposit you unceremoniously on it. Landing in a heap on your bed was decidedly not a romantic ending to any sort of scenario, imagined or not.

“Ugh…” With a groan, you sat up, trying to glare at approximately where your Servant must be in the darkness of your bedroom. “What was – what was that for?”

A slight clink of the armor he often wore (the only thing between you and tearing off the robes on his body, your traitorous mind reminded you) was all that alerted you before you felt his hands not-so-gently (and yet, with none of the roughness he would have shown most others) push you down into a lying position. There wasn’t any point in resisting the force that it took to do that, so you reluctantly succumbed. At least your pillow and mattress were comfortable as always…

“ – You asked what I would do if you were to refuse to go to bed.” Was that a shift in the darkness? Possibly. You could only guess. “That is my answer.”

One hell of a way to answer that, you thought, even as you snuggled under the covers more to avoid…well, you weren’t sure what you were avoiding. It wasn’t like you could lift yourself out of bed right now to find out.

But your imagination ran a bit wild in the meantime. It was a little easier to do that when you could only barely make out Zheng Chenggong’s outline, and only then through the crack between the door and the doorframe – this made it easier to fill in the details with what you were envisioning. Just because he has armor on doesn’t mean you can ignore how broad his shoulders are…hell, if anything, the shoulder armor really emphasizes it. And that wasn’t even getting into the fact that if one were to somehow manage to pull it all off – the armor, at least – it would be easier to feel at the muscles concealed underneath the robes…

“Master.” The enunciation of your title, crisp and blunt, shattered the trance you were in as you stared ahead at him, not realizing he’d already moved to the door. “Go to sleep.”

“I-I will!” you protested back, even as you made an admirable effort to close your eyes. It wasn’t until the door shut behind him that you finally opened your eyes again, knowing full well you weren’t getting any sleep once again.

Especially since the traitorous thoughts from before only got worse when he wasn’t around.

[tennypress]

Hi! First of all love your writings. second could you pls do a yandere Samuel x fem! reader (with slight mentions of smut) were he becomes even more obsessed after she breaks up with him

Of course my favorite bumblebees!

minors dni

WARNING: kiss and break up, angst, boss x secretary, ex boyfriend, gender neutral reader

“And you don't seem to understand”

You just look at the apartment with many memories you’d shared with him

On the outside he may seem like a gentleman but deep down inside you, you’d wish you did t meet him in the first time. Especially since you saw his actual side other than his “hot rich ceo” demeanor. How you’d wish you’d never stop to apply to that job

You were just a newcomer to OneMCN company to apply as a new beauty and gamer newtuber trying to earn money to support yourself and your family back in the countryside. You’d enter to get interviewed by him

Yeah you were attracted to him, but who wouldn’t? He’s tall, handsome, and rich(everyone Lookism simps type ever)

You enter the office and sat down. He looked through your files, and then you. At first it looked like he was t interested, but in his mind: he was immediately attracted to you, wanted to be your everything. He’d put on that serious cold face and started your interview.

After a while, he tells you that you were hired, you were officially his new secretary. He’d tell you that you start tomorrow, and you were full of glee. You’d thank him and left the building.

You know the next thing people(I know that I sound lazy, but like it’s 4am and I don’t have much to write about 💀, plus this is a one shot :)): you guys grow closer, he’d offer coffee dates, you guys see each other more often, you guys hang out on the weekend, then he’d asked the big question: will you be my one and only. Of course you said yes.

Sure this relationship sounds great, but cmon let’s be honest. This is Sammuel we’re talking about

He’d usually be so cold around you at the office, treating you like his secretary, you’d only respect his wishes by treating him as your boss

But it only got worst a few weeks where he’d lashed out on you, treat you like nothing, he’d ignore you, come home late smelling like alcohol and smoke. Worst of all, there would be situations where he’d harm you for the smallest things: like let’s say you accidentally spilled coffee on his paperwork’s, when you try to apologize he would grab your wrist and yell at you, then would angrily clean up your mess

You knew that this was unhealthy, but he would try to apologize with small gifts to dates where he wouldn’t talk to you.

You knew the sign and eventually would leave. Looking back at his home and left a note

A couple of days were about self care and healing. You’d eventually moved back into your small apartment near the city and eventually went to therapy for it.

You left your job at OneMCN and decided to ask for your classmate Jace for a job at the cafe he worked at. He was hesitant but agreed. You entered your new work environment and worked your hardest

A few months later you’d eventually made enough money to pay rent and send money to your family.

You’d eventually decided to celebrate at a local club and was escatic. You’d danced the night away, and eventually met a nice guy, Byung ho. You’d met him at the club and met him back again at the coffee shop you worked at. You guys eventually hanged out at his place.

While you and him were walking down the street, you both bumped into a familiar tatted man.

He’d just looked at the both of you guys dumbfounded, the look on his face wasn’t looking good. He’d just push Byung out of the way and grabbed your wrist to drag you to your apartment which was conveniently on the way.

He’d just slam the door shut and pushed you against the wall

“Wanna explain this shit to me y/n?” He said while he grabbed your wrist to pin you on the wall

“I left you for good Sammuel, Why come back to me?” You said trying to escape his grasp, but lmao you we’re struggling

“Who said you left me? I didn’t give you any signals who said you can just leave like a rushed car?” He said while his glasses were sliding off his nose bridge while he came closer to you.

You’d managed to kick him just enough for you to push him away, and you just walk away from him

But to your appeal, he just grabbed your wrist slightly, pulling you in into a big embrace

You knew that it was wrong, but it felt sincere.

You just stood there, while he turns you around and kisses you passionately

You’d dint pull back, push him away, or just slap him. You just gave in

The moon shining through your window and how the stars twinkled. You were enjoying the moment.

And that’s how he’d trapped you into your relationship. You’re trap like a fly in a spiderweb

[awkwardtickleetoo]

One Sided Tickle Fight

hello!! we're BACK (hopefully)!!!

I'm hoping that posting this fic will help me get back into the groove of posting and being more present here, because I realize I've been pretty absent for a while and I miss being around. so let's all manifest that it sticks lmao

also I was kind of debating on posting this because i wasn't sure how much I liked it?? originally the plan was for it to be a drabble but it ended up being over 2k words, so for a while I thought it was too long. but I was reassured that it's still good, so you guys have to be nice to me or I'll fight you about it /lh

but anyway!! I hope everyone enjoys this fic. it's inspired by 2 pictures of george that I saw and subsequently freaked out about (mushie can confirm). the pictures will be under the cut.

lee!george, ler!sapnap, ler!dream, 2.6k words

enjoy :)

inspired by these pictures:

--

"This is so stupid."

"You're stupid."

"You're stupid!"

"Great comeback, genius."

"You're both stupid, actually," Dream finally interjected, rolling his eyes at the argument between his two friends and readjusting his grip on George's wrist that he had pinned above his head.

George's head tilted back to watch Dream's movements, his jaw dropping open slightly as he tried to use the opportunity to pull his arm back down. Dream didn't let him, simply pressing his thumb firmer into the thin skin of George's inner wrist and gently rubbing in an attempt to calm him. He half expected Dream to start cooing at him, shushing and soothing him like a kitten at a vet's office before a check-up.

George huffed at the feeling instead, unfathomably annoyed that it was actually working, as he attempted to bend his elbow enough to dislodge his arm from Dream's hold. Once again, Dream didn't let him budge, instead just tugging George's wrist up higher and twisting his entire arm so his palm was half-pressed against the bed instead of the back of his hand. George gasped, trying to turn his hand back to make his arm flat. The new position made it almost impossible to do much other than shake his arm and lift his elbow a mere few inches off the bed, only to slam it down again.

"Dream! That's not fair," George practically whined, flexing his fingers in their sideways position as he squirmed. George swung his free arm over his head, bending it to let his fingers wrap around his strained bicep. He would've been more nervous about exposing his other armpit if he hadn't made Sapnap pinky promise that he was ONLY allowed to tickle the side of his torso that his pinned arm was on, and he knew Sapnap's word was good… for that day, at least.

"I think it's plenty fair, pretty boy," Sapnap piped up from his place on top of George. He'd been straddling the tops of George's thighs, knees brought in tight around his hips to keep his body somewhat still. They all knew George would find a way to squirm like his life depended on it anyway, but Dream and Sapnap were both prepared to handle whatever he could throw at them. They were used to his squirming by now.

"Wh–" George blurted out, cheeks turning pink at the name, biting his lip to hide a smile as he turned his head to the side and buried his face in the arm that was still covered by a hoodie sleeve. Earlier, at the start of the whole thing, Dream and Sapnap had pushed his hoodie up and forced his arm out of it, leaving half his body clad in only his t-shirt and the other half still covered by the hoodie to drive home the fact that they were serious about only tickling one half of his body. "Y-you can't say that, oh my god."

"He definitely can," Dream stated, as if it was a simple fact of life, reaching his free hand over to trace over the shell of George's ear. "Especially if it's true, Georgie~"

George practically squeaked, jerking his head even further into his sleeve as well as tilted down towards his shoulder to hide his ear. The position did not look comfortable at all to Dream and Sapnap, as confirmed by George when he moved his fingers from gripping his arm to cover his ear with his sleeve-covered palm instead.

"Okahay! Stop– stohop doing thahat–'' He giggled out, letting his head rest against the bed as he rubbed the leftover tickles off his ear. Dream smiled, pinching the tip of his ear and mumbling something about it being "so warm, oh my god, George, your ears are burning hot and bright red" that only served to make the blush on George's face even darker.

"Stop doing that? Alright, I'll do this instead," Sapnap said as he trailed two fingers down George's arm– starting as his inward-turned wrist right under where Dream's fingers were holding, then down his forearm, stopping to lightly scratch at the area on the inside of George's elbow to hear him squeal, then all down his tricep, stopping when be just barely grazed the top of George's shirt sleeve.

George was pretty sure he could've lost it right then and there, the light, barely present touch just enough to make him squirm, exactly as predicted, like his life depended on it.

His shoulder tried to turn itself any way it could, twisting his elbow with it and continuously moving the top edge of the sleeve each time, only exposing more of his underarm in the process. His arm shook with the attempt to pull it down– if you could even call it an attempt. Dream had loosened his hold significantly, and all that really happened was George flinching his arm and jerking his wrist slightly, so Dream knew he couldn't have been trying too hard. He still held tighter anyway, not wanting to call George out just yet. He was content sitting with the knowledge for a bit longer, pretending to be ignorant so he could knock down George's walls later.

He was cut off from his thoughts by the sound of George whimpering and whining softly as he pressed his lips together to stop himself from laughing.

The fingers on George's free hand ran through his own hair and held for a few seconds before he let go and tightly curled up his fist, letting it rest on top of his head. Immediately after, a particularly loud squeak got him flustered enough to slam a hand over his own mouth. Dream and Sapnap both giggled at his reactions, making him let out the tiniest of giggles, before flushing even more red and squeezing his eyes shut. All three of them knew that the one giggle was about to end him, and was the start of his resolve breaking down.

"C'mon, George, just let it out," Sapnap pushed gently, pausing his trailing fingers to play with the hem of George's shirt sleeve– pulling on it, flattening it out against his arm, rolling it between his fingers, anything he could think of. George turned his head to watch his fingers move, unexpectedly calmed by the idle movements, until Sapnap spoke again. "I mean, you know why we're here, don't you? You agreed to this, you said yes to the deal… We're here because you said you'd let me tickle your poor, defenseless underarm and down to your boney ass ribs until I'm satisfied, and until we feel like you've had enough. So it's not like we're gonna stop if you don't laugh… might as well just bite the bullet, baby." Sapnap punctuated his sentence by slowly pulling George's sleeve down to expose his vulnerable underarm.

"N-nohoho! Don't, plehehease–" George pleaded as Sapnap's teasing and the pet name tacked onto the end finally pushed him over the edge and sent giggles tumbling out of his mouth. He crossed his free arm over his chest, using his fingertips to hold the arm of his t-shirt in place so Sapnap couldn't pull it down any more. His pointer finger pressed down the top seam, and his ring finger rested exactly against the center of his armpit, and he gave Sapnap his best pleading eyes, hoping it would help his case.

He knew he couldn't be that lucky, though.

"Hey." It was Dream who chimed in this time, and George looked up at him with wide eyes at the sudden stern tone, pressing his fingers in harder as he giggled almost involuntarily at Dream's facial expression. "Come on, George, you know that won't do anything."

"Dream, plehease–"

"That's not gonna work this time."

"But, I–"

"I don't care."

"Dream!"

"George, I am the only one who's stopping Sapnap from absolutely destroying you right now. So shut the fuck up or I'll let him do whatever he wants."

George's eyes widened even more at Dream's words, caught off guard by how nonchalant his tone was with such a harsh statement, breath catching in his throat with how shaky his inhale was. He looked away immediately after, his head reeling as he swallowed against the lump in his throat thinking about the idea.

"Mhm- okay… m'sorry," George mumbled, nodding to himself as he spoke, looking off to the side to avoid eye contact.

"I know you are, angel, but I just had to make sure you knew all that, okay? So just relax and let Sapnap do his thing, and I'll make sure he takes good care of you, yeah? That sounds pretty good, I think," Dream explained, using his signature softer voice, and smiling as George mumbled a little 'mhm' as he pushed his face further into the sheets below him.

George intended to stay that way, until he felt Sapnap trying to pull his pointer finger away from where he was holding it over his armpit. The feeling of his finger being moved immediately drew his head back out, and he pressed his hand tighter against his arm to counteract Sapnap's pulling.

"No! Noho, oh god, Sapnap, please," he whined, shaking his head and clamping his fingers down as tight as he could without digging his nails into his own arm. He looked up at Sapnap as he pleaded, yanking once at his pinned arm– for the first time in a while, Dream noted.

Sapnap only giggled at his pleads, letting George relax slightly as he acted like he wouldn't continue.

Until he started poking his two pointer fingers anywhere that George's fingers didn't cover. He started above his hand, making George squeak and move his hand up to cover that area. Then, he used the new real estate to migrate his poking down to underneath his hand, able to reach the very edge of George's armpit for a few pokes before he immediately moved his hand back down with a strained whine. George had pinned his fingers together in his movements, and he fanned them out to cover as much space as possible.

Which only gave Sapnap the opportunity to poke at the spaces between his fingers instead.

"Sapnahahap!" George whined through his laughter, fingers twitching as he tried to cover more with each poke. Sapnap still giggled at him, unable to stop himself from showing his amusement at George's reactions. Dream smiled down at him, reaching over to play with George's hair and rest his palm on his head.

"Come on, sweet boy, you have to let him do it," Dream coaxed, rubbing his thumb on George's wrist and squeezing once for reassurance. "He'll be gentle."

"Maybe," Sapnap said with a smirk, pulling at George's hand again, this time able to pull his first two fingers off before he lost his grip.

"I can't, I cahan't, Dream, please don't mahake me," George begged, looking up at Dream with the best puppy dog eyes he could manage.

"Darling, we're not making you do anything. You agreed, and it's clear that you want this. I've felt you pull at your arm maybe twice total, and we both know if you didn't want this you could be squirming a lot more. So just move your hand and the wait will be over," Dream explained, keeping his tone calm and reassuring even as he dropped the bombshell that he'd been aware of George's feelings the whole time. George let out a whine, tilting his head back and tipping his chin up as he closed his eyes tight.

"Dreheheam, you– I-I… why wohould you sahay thahahat…" George whined, looking anywhere but up at Dream or Sapnap.

"Because it's true. You don't have to pretend, Georgie," Dream continued to play with George's hair, smiling as he pushed his head up into the touch a few times. He went to speak, stuttering out a few syllables until he finally caught Dream's eyes. Dream could see they were slightly glassy, and he smiled softly, scrunching up his nose as he watched George nod his head in understanding, a silent 'thank you' that they've encountered many times before.

"Look, George," Sapnap cut back in, wanting to get the ball rolling, as he posed his fingers in a claw in the air, about half a foot above George's armpit. "Oooooh, Georgie~ it's tiiiiime~"

"Nohoho, no! Dohohon't doho it!" George argued, smile brighter than the sun as he kept switching between lifting his fingers slightly to pull them away and pushing his hand forward to cover his armpit.

Dream's words had really gotten to him, seeping into his brain and infecting his thoughts. He knew he wanted to just lay there and let Sapnap tickle him to tears– he couldn't think about a single thing other than that, actually– but he still couldn't bring himself to move his hand away and let himself be that vulnerable. He settled on pulling his shaky hand away, but letting his palm hover barely half an inch above his armpit, able to crash back down if he needed to.

"I have to, George! I have to do it! We made the rules, it would be cruel of me to disregard them now, wouldn't it?" Sapnap explained as he slowly started descending his claw hand down towards George's armpit. George shook his head immediately, attempting to squirm and kick slightly on instinct, but quickly finding that he was too heavily pinned to move as much as he'd hoped.

"Noho, no, Sapnahap, plehehease!" George begged as he tried to twist his shoulders instead, turning his elbow out and halfway-leaning onto his side.

"Almost there! In threeeee…" Sapnap teased, pushing his fingers forward and pulling them back as they slowly lessened the distance to George's skin.

"Nohohoho!"

"Twooooooo…"

"Sapnahahap!"

"Two and a haaaaaalf…"

"Dreheam, help mehehe!"

"No can do, sweetheart, you're on your own here."

"No!"

"Aaaaaaaand… one!" Sapnap finished, yelling a little louder than before, as he drove his hand forward towards George. George screamed, clenching his fists and tensing his entire body as he prepared for the onslaught of tickles that were about to hit him.

But there was nothing.

He peeked one eye open– he wasn't sure when he'd squeezed them shut, but it was enough for spots to show up when he opened them– to see Sapnap's claw hand frozen barely a centimeter away from the back of his palm that covered his underarm. He let out a breathy whimper, glancing up at Sapnap to see a bloodthirsty smile on his face.

"Oh, man… you should've heard how loud you screamed, that was so good," He teased, and George opened his mouth to protest.

But the second he did, there were knuckles digging into the top of his ribs and rubbing against the bones, and all his words were lost to another scream.

"OHOHOH MY GOHOHOD SAPNAHAHAP!" George yelled through his laughter, his hand moving from hovering over his armpit to grabbing desperately at Sapnap's hand. Sapnap's response was to simply use his free hand to grab George's wrist and pin it to his chest, keeping him from being able to cover his armpit anymore as he migrated his tickling up there. He switched back to his fingers, finally pulling George's sleeve down and scratching his nails at the sensitive area. "NOHOHO, THAHAT'S NOT FAHAHAIR!"

"I cannot fucking believe you fell for that, Gogy. It's absolutely fair if you were that stupid."

George shook his head, unable to do much else other than laugh himself silly. His cheeks flushed impossibly more, and he clenched his fist against his chest.

The rest of the morning was spent with the three of them in that exact position, Dream and Sapnap smiling and giggling along with a squirming, kicking, happily laughing, giddy George, and none of them would ever want that to change.

Except maybe when George forces both of them to let him get revenge… maybe George likes that idea a little more.

[lilysparda]

Old bitches lmao

Wesker is 48 in RE5. Ivory is 45 in RE5. Fidi is still alive around this time, probably around 30 years old because he was already an adult snake when Ivory found him. The lifespan of a Meadow Viper/Meadow Adder (this snake goes by both names) is 5-10 years. The virus keeps him alive (even if he died, the virus would just reanimate him. If it didn't, I think a heartbroken Ivory would use the T-Virus to keep him alive. She couldn't bear to lose either of her boys. Although now that I think of it, there's a giant snake in RE1... The T-Virus turned that crocodile gigantic in RE2...

The T-Virus would turn Fidi massive and omfg Ivory would adore him more. Makes me laugh thinking of a Ivory walking into her lab, feeling miserable about the loss of her baby boy Fidi then she looks up and just sees his GIGANTIC form thanks to the T-Virus. "ALBERT, GUESS WHAT?" "Dearheart, please lower your voice. What is it?" "THE- Sorry, the T-Virus worked on Fidi!" "It did? Oh that's wonderful, Ivory. What happened?" "Well.... do you think we could turn our pool into a giant tank?" "....why." "We can't keep him in the house, he'd destroy it..." "Wh- Pardon?" "He's a little bit bigger than that snake you told me Chris mentioned from the Spencer Mansion." "...." "Albert? Hello?" "Yes, we can turn the pool into a giant tank for him. We never use it and our boy needs a good home. He would destroy all in his path to follow you home at this point." "YES!!! FIDI? WE'RE GOING HOME!"

[archiiive]

How To Get My Husband On My Side

I usually love strong female characters and I love reading them. Not a big fan of weak or damsel in distress characters. But RUBY. Idk how to explain my thoughts and feelings about her. Ik it doesn't make any sense but I feel like this is what I'd feel about my own daughter if I had one (I just turned 20 last month lolol). Ruby is by far my most favourite manhwa fmc and the most beautiful girl in my eyes I'm not even exaggerating. Yall won't believe how many times I scroll back to see the panels Ruby is in. I don't think I've even replayed shirtless Izek that many times lmao. I just stare at her in awe. I can't help but smile. I just re read this manhwa for the 4th time today, I just keep coming back here. This manhwa is so beautiful, cute, sad, painful and heartbreaking all at the same time. I cry, smile, laugh, giggle, get angry, so many emotions all at once.

I feel so sad whenever I look at Ruby's eyes. I just wanna give her a hug. Ruby is by far one of the strongest characters I've ever read. Being strong doesn't necessarily mean being physically strong yk. Everything she's gone through, those are unimaginable. The fact that she's still sane is probably the biggest proof of how strong she is. Cause imagine being abused like she was for that many years (even in her previous life, or should I say lives), she's only suffering. I can't imagine how deep the trauma runs.

Every kind of Abuse destroy people. She has gone thorough so many kind of abuses. But man SA has got to be the most horrendous things to ever happen to someone, that too by her own brother, at her own house, for so many years, where the so called brother even spread rumour about their questionable relationship outside just so her marriages could be broken off. I can't imagine going through all of that everyday and still having to smile sweetly 24/7, not having anyone to share these with, no one to rely on and pretending to be completely fine. I'd never be able to last so long, I'd be long gone.

As much as I love Izek now, it's an undeniable fact that he was a jerk to her when she first came here. Okay he had his reasons cause her family couldn't be trusted yada yada but RUBY didn't deserve any of it. Good thing she escaped from the hell, her own house but then came here to be treated like a nuisance by her own husband. Okay he's changed now and he loves her and everything is good so I'll kinda forgive him too cause at least he's giving Ruby the love, warmth, support, reassurance, comfort now. She needed them so bad. She really needed someone to confide in.

Whenever I see her holding things in and not being able to talk about her past traumas and abuse with anyone and silently putting up everything that fu*king Cesare bitch a**hole ugly looking piece of sh*t son of a wh*re does in fear that things will get worse, I just want to go get myself off by a truck and isekai into the story and stab that filthy guy until my hands fall of. I don't think I ever hated or will hate anything as much as I hate Cesare. This manhwa keeps breaking me but I still keep coming back for Ruby and maybe a little bit for Izek too, love to see them together.

I'm so mad she had to endure all of that. Idc what Ruby does or ever did. I'd support her even if she were to take initiative to end the world. I'd gladly let her destroy everything, kill everyone including me if that's what she wanted, I'd give her everything she could've ever asked for and even more cause RUBY my love deserves everything. Okay but why do I sound like a mom tho lolol. I guess Izek has a stronger competition now cause at least I'd never treat that angel like precious munchkin the way he did in the past hmph.

So in conclusion what I wanted to say is, I LOVE RUBY. My loveliest most adorable bestest sweetheart. My heart swells with love everytime she smiles. She shines so bright I fear. Ruby is the most amazing, Ruby is the most beautiful, Ruby is the strongest, i wanna bawl my eyes out everytime I look at her eyes. And if anyone tries to hurt my Ruby and talk shit about her, I'm personally coming for you, you better sleep at night with an eye open. Cause Ruby might be the sweetest but I'm certainly NOT.

[sleepdeprivedsimp234]

~incorrect quotes cuz idk what I’m doing with my life lmao~

=======================================================================

Mass: I hate you with every inch of my body.

NY: Pfft- that’s not a lot of inches.

=======================================================================

NY: Clownery. Tomfoolery. Absolute f*ckery, I am going to revoke your life privileges

============================================

Florida: My ultimate goal is to punch God in the eye, just to spite him one last time.

============================================

Georgia: Oh, fiddlesticks. 


Texas: Look, I understand this is a tense situation, but let's watch the f*cking language.

============================================

Texas: Truth or dare? 


Loui: Truth. 


Texas: How many hours have you slept this week? 


Loui: 


Loui: Dare. 


Texas: Go to sleep. 


Loui: I don't like this game.

============================================

Gov: You remind me of the ocean. 


NY: Because I'm deep and mysterious? 


Gov: No, because you're full of salt and you scare people.

============================================

Gov: Why would you think any of this was a good idea? 


Loui: Probably because I’m a dangerous sociopath with a long history of violence. 


Gov: 


Loui: You literally bought me. I don’t know how you keep forgetting this-

============================================

Mass: I'm not funny, I'm just really mean and people think I'm joking.

============================================

NY: *playing Stray*

~a lil while later~

B-12: *is f*ckin’ dead*

~a lil while later*~

Cat: *does the slow blink before leaving the place where B-12 died*

NY: *jaw drops slightly as tears run down his face* What the f*ck man?! I-is this h-how it ends?!

*credits pop up*

NY: NOOOO!!-

============================================

Loui: Underestimate me. That'll be fun.

============================================

Delaware: Why do you fuss over them like they’re three year olds? 


Connecticut, exasperated: WHY?!? 


Connecticut points at Mass: HE TRIED TO HYJACK A CAR! 


Connecticut points at NY: HE NEARLY JUMPED 20 FEET OFF A CARPARK! 


Connecticut points at NJ: AND HE ATE MULTIPLE DRIED LEAVES AND ROCKS OFF THE GROUND! 


Connecticut , turning back to Delaware: AND YOU ASK ME WHY???? YOU LITERALLY GREW UP WITH THEM- YOU’RE ONE JERSEY’S BEST FRIENDS YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS SH*T!

Delaware: Ok ok calm down I was just asking-

============================================

California: Hey, can you do me a favor? 


NY: Sorry, I have to go do literally anything other than this. 


California: You don’t even have a legitimate reason? 


NY: Oh, no, I do. 


California: Well, what is it? 


NY: You see, I simply don’t give a f*ck.

============================================

Florida: Wasn't icarly that guy that girlbossed too close to the sun because he was down for Apollo? 


Mass: ICARUS?!

============================================

Loui: I am darkness. I am an power. I am your worst nightmare. I could kill a man in more ways than you can imagine. I am the night. I am fury, I am a weapon, I am- 


Gov: A doll. 


NY: A cinnamon roll. 


Florida: A sweetheart. 


Loui: 


Loui: *blushing like an anime girl* ...stop it-

============================================

(HUGE cuss warning ⚠️)

Mass: Hey, Yorkie? 


NY, playing a video game with the squad: What? 


Mass: Can I share something with you from earlier today? 


NY: Wh- what is it, Mass? 


Mass: Well, I sent you a text early in the morning. 


NY: Mhm. 


Mass: Because I have to go out of town for a weekend this month. And, so I was like- I won't give specific dates, but I was like, I don’t need this kid panicking again cuz he has no idea where tf I went.


NY: Yeah? 


Mass: Your response. 


NY: *trying not to crack up* 


Mass: At 9:30 in the morning. 


Mass: "motherf**king Jesse Eisenberg jesus Christ motherf**king Facebook movie jesus can you believe this sh*t" 


NY: *laughing* 


Mass: No- no- no punctuation. Random capitalization. 


NY: You just made me dieeee hehehehehe... 


Mass: So I respond, "I have no idea what we're talking about right now." 


Mass: 45 minutes pass. I get a text from you. 


Mass: "goddamn created Facebook and frickin’ lawyers and sh*t right f**king winklevoss twins goddamn rowing the boat f**k yo sh*t i cant even f**king believe this sh*t have you seen this sh*t f**k I just watched this sh*t f**k Jesse eisenberg man" 


NY: *wheezing with laughter* 


Mass: I respond "York, you're scaring me." An hour passes- 


Mass: You respond, "motherf**king spiderman Spiderman you put in the time f**k put in the time motherf**king built stuff with his bare hands friggin’ best friend sh*t jesse eisenberg" 


Mass: "im very tired" 


NY: *struggling to breathe* 


Mass: And- and I'm just like, "No- no worries, kid, I'll- I'll do most of the talking at the meeting today-" 


Mass: IMMEDIATE, like, response, like I'm talking 5 seconds later, 


Mass: "no man ill just talk all day crap man you have to be so interested in the sh*t I have to say about the Facebook movie f**k dude I just watched it a year and a half ago f**k Jesse Eisenberg man he f**ked over Spider-man crazy Winklevoss twins rowing Trent Resin or did the soundtrack f**k this guy who invented Facebook I don't like dying I can't think of who the heck invented Facebook All I can think is who played the guy who invented Facebook who the hell invented Facebook" 


Mass: And then, in all capital letters, two hours later, 


NY: *falling over with laughter* 


Mass: "MARK ZUCKERBERG."

NY: *is a squeaky giggly wreck on the ground now*

Mass: WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SLEPT BRO-

============================================

Mass: Why do you hang out with me? 


Loui: You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me! 


Mass: … 


Mass: I feel a bit sorry for you.

============================================

NY: What’s up? I’m back. 


California: I literally saw you die. You died. You were dead. You got shot three times and stabbed 5 times. 


NY: Death is a social construct.

============================================

Georgia: Can we go to a haunted house? 


Loui: What’s wrong with the one we live in? 


Georgia: Wh-what? 


Loui: Goodnight, Father.

============================================

Loui, holding a knife: You know you’re talking a lot of sh*t for someone who has 2 perfectly good eyeballs each cost about $16,000 on the blackmarket. 


Alabama: *I’ve never heard silence quite this loud*


Loui: *smirk* That’s what I thought. *gets up and walks away twirling the knife like the bada$$ b*tch he is*

Alabama: *gulp*

Texas: Woooo buddy- I know your life just flashed before your eyes huh?

Alabama: Y-yea….

============================================

Gov: What did you two do? 


Loui: 


Florida: 


Gov: You’re not in trouble, I just need to know if I have to lie to the police again or not.

============================================

Loui: You can de-escalate literally any situation by asking ‘are we about to kiss?’ 


Loui: Doesn't work with getting out of speeding tickets, though.

============================================

NY, singing to the tune of I Kissed a Girl: I killed a guy, and I liked it- 


Kentucky, whispering: Should we call the exorcist? 


Loui, also singing: The taste of his cherry chapstick. 


Georgia, appalled: Call the exorcist.

============================================

NY: Mass is off at an appointment, so while he’s gone, I’m going to cut the sleeves off all of my shirts. 


NJ: Why? 


NY: He’s like 90% of my impulse control.

============================================