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catboymingi · 5 years ago

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hurting - in this life and the next chap. 7

navi/masterlist

story masterlist

pairing: mingi x reader

genre: angst, a little bit of fluff; soulmates & reincarnation au

word count: 3.9k

warnings: dissociation resulting in some self harming behaviour (reader doesn’t realise she’s getting hurt - she’s not hurting on purpose), dealing with grief, insecurities

the realisation that someone wants your happiness more than their own can be a painful one

instead of doing anything yet, mingi decided to sleep. he wouldn’t be able to do anything right now anyway, since you were asleep, and maybe yunho had come up with a solution the next day. but it was hard, falling asleep, even though you were in his arms, because he had no idea if he should tell you about it or not. he didn’t want to make you feel like he only cared about that, about being soulmates, but he also cared about that - how could he not? it by far wasn’t his main reason for liking you, but he couldn’t deny that it did affect him. and even though he’d told you that yunho liked you, too, earlier, that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt for him to think that you might choose his best friend over him, even though he deserved it. he was just anxious, overthinking, or maybe thinking just the right amount, and that made it hard to sleep.

though he did fall asleep, eventually, because he was with you right now and he was your friend and that thought calmed him down enough to enter the land of dreams.

of course you noticed that something was odd with mingi the next day, and you brought it up, but he told you that he just felt a little weird being like this with you, even when you were just friends, when he was still mourning. he also told you that he was worried about you, about how you were feeling, and spent another one or two hours with you before leaving to make sure you’d know he did care about you and your wellbeing. then he left, still seeming awkward, uncertain and anxious, and you texted yunho, who was still texting mingi and trying to come up with what to do, though you didn’t know that.

[y/n]: ask mingi to come over, i dont think hes okay rn

and yunho knew, of course he knew that mingi was far from okay, so of course he would do that.

[yunho]: will do. ill update you once i know more, okay?

he didn’t want to snitch on his friend, he didn’t want to do anything hasty, he wanted to find a solution with mingi before any decisions were made. but he also didn’t want you to worry too much, so this seemed like a good compromise. he just hoped they’d actually find a solution, because this situation wasn’t exactly an easy one.

but because you had no idea what was going on you just waited, though it lasted for exactly ten minutes before you got tired of it and too anxious to sit still and you went to the shelter, hoping to calm down a little. there you stayed for several hours, until mingi messaged you, asking where you were and if he could come over, saying he was feeling better now and apologising for his odd behaviour that morning.

and because you were too soft for him you immediately agreed, waiting at the shelter until he came over to spend time with you.

yunho had asked him to come over, and of course he would. he really wanted to know what to do, he wanted to know how to handle things, he wanted to not fuck up. he wanted to do things right this time, he didn’t want to lose you again.

“hey”, the blond said as he opened the door for mingi, who moved into the flat wordlessly, throwing himself on the sofa with a loud groan.

“i take you still haven’t told her?”, which made the groan louder and had his friend cover his face with his hands.

“i just don’t know if i should”, he almost whined out, so incredibly unsure about everything right now. he wanted to be with you, but he was scared that if he’d tell you about this latest development you’d think he only cared about you for this soulmate business, something that wasn’t the case. while he hadn’t entirely forgotten about it it wasn’t his main motivation, his motivation was wanting to get to know you and getting to be with you and, in part, showing you that you weren’t just a poor copy of whoever you used to be, showing you that you were worth being cherished the way you were now. and because he knew that you wouldn’t let him, these next words left his mouth, something he’d thought more than he’d like to admit.

“i think you should tell her how you feel. it wouldn’t surprise me if she likes you, too, with the way the two of you are always talking. she trusts you, and i know you wouldn’t hurt her. maybe that’s better.”

“are you… trying to set us up?”, yunho asked, confused by the brunette’s words because this was the last thing he’d expected.

“that sounds horrible. i just want her to be happy, you know? and i know you wouldn’t let anyone make her sad, not even me.”

while that was true yunho wouldn’t do this to mingi, even if he did like you - something he’d noticed, but that he’d just accepted as unrequited feelings, because it was so obvious that his friend still meant so much to you.

“i mean, yeah, but you like her, don’t you? you could make her happy, too, just get your shit together first.”

mingi sighed loudly, a long, pained, resigned sigh.

“that’s the thing. she deserves better, don’t you think? better than someone that keeps fucking up because of his own baggage. i can’t promise i won’t hurt her again, and i don’t want to risk that.”

this was so thoughtful of mingi and it showed his friend that he really was trying his best, that he really did care about you, and that he’d even put his own happiness back if it would make you happier. and because he cared so much yunho couldn’t do it, wouldn’t even consider it; maybe if mingi had ignored your feelings and his concerns and just thrown himself in head first yunho wouldn’t have had these hesitations, but because the slightly shorter man cared so much he couldn’t do that. and he told mingi that.

“she doesn’t even like me that way. trust me, she doesn’t”, when mingi was about to protest, “she cares about you. she just wants you to care about her, too. why else would she still give you a chance, hm? if she didn’t care you’d long be blocked, because, in all honesty, you’d deserve it.”

“i guess”, another loud sigh. “but i won’t tell her, not yet, at least. i don’t want to hurt her”, laying down on his stomach on the (too short) couch, almost slamming his head into a pillow in frustration because he had absolutely zero idea what to do. because he wanted to be with you but didn’t know how to go about that. because life kept making things hard for you when they’d just gotten even a little easier.

“maybe you should still text her, though. she worries.”

“mh. i think i’ll go home, i need some time to think. see you, yunho. and thank you.”

and then he left, went home and showered and realised he didn’t want you to worry at all even if he still felt unsure about things, so he texted you, asking to meet up again now to show things were still okay.

mingi looked like he’d cried and tried to hide it when he arrived, hair slightly wet from a shower you assumed he’d taken before he got there, eyes no longer red but still slightly puffy. you had no idea what had happened, but all you could imagine was that he felt guilty because he’d told you he liked you even when it hadn’t been that long since his love had died, something you could understand. or maybe he was overwhelmed with his emotions, something you could most definitely understand, as well. still, he tried to smile at you, coming over to where you were feeding the bunnies once he’d spotted you.

“hey”, obviously still not doing all too well, something you weren’t about to question him about, especially when he was trying to smile at you anyway.

“hey”, smiling back at him, moving your attention back to the bunnies soon after so he wouldn't feel like you were staring.

“again, sorry for acting weird, i was just… feeling weird”, an awkward laugh at his lack of eloquence, but you didn’t mind at all.

“don’t worry about it.”

you knew telling someone not to worry didn’t exactly make them worry less, but it was all you could do right now, telling him that it wasn’t a big deal and trying to act as you always did around him. or, always since you started talking again.

you’d spent about an hour with mingi and he had finally relaxed when your phone buzzed with messages from yunho, several at once, something that worried you a little because the brunette was here with you right now, so you didn’t at all know what yunho could possibly be double texting about. after checking that you had the time to read and reply right now, that there were no animals running around, you unlocked your phone, clicking on the notification in order to find out what was going on.

you hadn’t expected the messages you got, though. when you read them it quickly became very obvious that yunho had no idea that mingi was with you right now, and it seemed pretty obvious that mingi had no idea about what his friend was revealing, either.

[yunho]: i know mingi hasnt told you, but your soulmate mark is gone

[yunho]: dont freak out, its fine, he isnt planning anything

[yunho]: thats why im texting, actually

[yunho]: he told me to get with you, told me that he knows i like you and that you might like me and that even if it means hes not w you at least youre happy

[yunho]: i think hes really changed from when he fucked up, hes learned, and he wants you to be happy more than anything

[yunho]: so while i do like you, i think hes good for you. i think hed make you happy. i know you still like him, and he obviously likes you, enough to try to set you up w me

[yunho]: just thought id let you know

you looked at the phone in shock, unsure what to make of this, unsure what to make of not one but two confessions in the same message, unsure what to make of all the information you’d just gotten, and you almost dropped the little device, completely out of it.

“y/n?”

the man that apparently was really, actually your soulmate seemed worried by your reaction to the messages, and when you showed him the screen he understood what had happened. he didn’t know what to say either, though, but he knew you’d have to tell yunho something, at least, shouldn’t leave him on read.

“please message him back, okay? or i can do it. and then we’ll talk, but he’ll worry if you don’t say anything.”

you nodded, still only half there, and typed up a small message.

[y/n]: mingi is here rn. well talk about it now. thank you

then you locked your phone, staring at the now black screen, completely in shock. you hadn’t even thought about it. you hadn’t even thought about the whole soulmate thing when mingi had held you, or when he’d kissed your head. all you’d thought about was how you wished someone would care about you, really, deeply care, and now you’d gotten that in one of the worst ways you could imagine, because your best friend whom you’d not see as more than a best friend had apparently confessed just like this, and the man you did like seemed to want to set you up with said best friend because he cared about you so much. everything seemed to be going wrong and you had no idea what to do and you felt yourself slowly slip away, something you’d noticed you did when you were stressed, leaving reality so you would first have to deal with things when they’d settled in logically, removing the stress of having to deal with them logically and emotionally simultaneously.

“y/n?”, mingi asked again, looking at you with worry apparent in his eyes but that you missed anyway because you were staring into nothing.

“i’ll bring you home, okay?”, he told you when you didn’t react, and then: “can you tell me your address again? or i’ll take you to my place if you can’t.”

you couldn’t, so he brought you to his place as he’d said, trying carefully to prevent you from getting hurt on the way because it still seemed like you weren’t fully present. he had his arm around your waist the entire time, guiding you, and then you entered that place again, the place that had been your home and refuge for a few weeks and that now looked so different but still the same. it looked… inhabited, maybe, and you tried to focus on all the small details that had changed as he took off his jacket and shoes and you mechanically did the same. then he led you to his room, their room, carefully sitting you down on the bed to figure out what would be best to do right now, whether he should talk or wait until you were more present. he decided to wait, you could tell from how he was looking at you, wait for your next action or reaction.

your next action was looking around; this was the first time you’d ever seen his bedroom, and you’d immediately noticed the picture on the bedside table when mingi had sat you down on his bed, focusing on him and her, taking in all the details to bring you back to reality at least somewhat.

“she’s pretty”, you said once you were kind of there again, and “she was” the man replied, looking at the picture with a mixture of fondness and pain on his face. it kind of hurt, knowing you’d never be as pretty, feeling guilty for worrying about having to compete with a dead person, but she looked ethereal, she looked at mingi with such happiness and he looked at her with an expression you knew he’d never have on his face when looking at you. you were nothing compared to her, you were a mess, you were ugly with your piercings and your hair and your messy, weak body that was still dealing with the effects of apparently having been bed-bound for ages, even if you couldn’t remember, and you didn’t fit with him. you didn’t fit with anyone like him.

“i want to sleep”, even though it was maybe five or six in the afternoon, but you didn’t want to have to deal with your emotions right now and sleeping helped. maybe you were his soulmate, but you were a second choice, not just for him but for fate, too, you weren’t enough and you’d never be the one he wanted. and if you didn’t sleep soon you’d be sobbing in his arms again, something you most definitely didn’t want.

“i want to shower”, you then changed your mind, wanting to cry and knowing that if you stayed quiet you could do so in the shower and he’d never know.

he just nodded, getting out a towel for you and some of his clothes - neither you nor he would want you to wear her clothes -, then brought you to the bathroom, asking you to please not lock because he was still somewhat worried. that was fine with you because you didn’t expect him to come in, anyway, because what was there to see? you weren’t pretty, you weren’t attractive, you weren’t hot. you were a stick and you were a mess and you looked sickly even though you were starting to build up muscle, and nothing of that would ever be something he’d want to see naked. so you closed the door and undressed, the light turned off as soon as mingi was gone, unable to stand looking at yourself naked, too. you hadn’t even known that you had these insecurities until you saw how beautiful she was and how horrendous you looked in comparison, and the first sob escaped your lips as soon as the water was turned on enough to swallow it.

you’d been in the shower for thirty minutes now, and at this point he worried. you’d reacted when he knocked at the twenty minutes mark, so he knew you were still alive, but you hadn’t been doing well when you went in, and when he knocked again and he just heard you whimper he went in.

as soon as he opened the door he was greeted by hot steam coming out, and he could barely see because it was so steamy in there, the air hot and humid. it cleared a little now fresh, colder air was coming in, and he made his way to the shower after turning on the light - why was it turned off in the first place? -, pulling back the curtain because he heard you sob and because the water had to be really hot for the room to be in this state and he worried, he did.

and there you were, skin bright red, the water burning you and you just sitting on the floor and crying.

“y/n”, he almost yelled, shocked and scared, and turned off the water, getting slightly burnt on the tap and from the few drops falling onto his skin even as he tried to avoid the water. then he kneeled down, pulling you to his arms carefully because he didn’t want to hurt you but he worried so much about your sorry state, and you just kept sobbing.

“why’d you do that, why’d you do that, why’s the water so hot”, he repeated, completely overwhelmed, you still sobbing in his arms, but trying to answer.

“i just wanted to feel something”, you told him, “it was so hot but i still didn’t feel anything. it’s not hot enough”, arm moving to turn the water back on, but he stopped you.

“no, no, we won’t do that, we won’t do that, angel”, stroking your head and his heart hurting at how red your skin was. he could only hope you didn’t actually get any burns.

“i want to feel something”, you repeated, and mingi was so overwhelmed, he didn’t know what to do, but he wanted to help.

“can i turn on the water, but cold? maybe that’ll help, maybe it will, but i can’t let you burn yourself.”

he was pleading, hoping you wouldn’t hurt yourself any more, hoping you’d let him take care of you, and when you nodded he felt relieved, making sure the water was at an acceptable temperature before turning it on, gently washing you with the cold water, hoping to prevent it from getting too bad, rubbing your naked body but not caring about the fact that you were naked, caring only about taking care of you even when his clothes were getting soaked.

“is this okay? how does it feel?”, gently rubbing your scalp with the cold water, then your neck and your back and your sides, carefully, trying not to hurt you any more than you’d inevitably be when your senses registered your surroundings again.

“it hurts”, and it seemed like you were starting to come back, the sobs getting more violent again now that you were able to feel your skin be so tight and aching and red from your stupid attempt at feeling something.

“i’m almost done, let me just make sure everything is a little soothed, let me take care of you, i’m almost done”, he tried to calm you down as he rubbed your legs with the cold water again, finally turning the water off and getting up, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around you before he told you to turn around, stripping himself of his wet clothes quickly, drying himself just enough to not soak his new clothes as he put on the pants he’d picked out for you before he told you that he’d put his shirt on you now, asking you to lift your arms if you could so he could do that.

you looked so small and hurt in his massive clothes, you made him want to protect you, and at least for the night he would.

“do you want to go to bed? let’s go to bed, angel”, he told you like he was talking to a child, but it kind of felt like he was. he could tell moving hurt and it made his heart hurt all the more, wanting nothing more than to take at least some of your pain, just enough for you to not be crying out like this because you didn’t want to do anything anymore.

laying down hurt, too, he could tell from how you flinched, and he tried very carefully to not make the bed move too much as he laid down next to you. you were laying on his side, he was laying on what used to be hers, and for a moment he felt a pang in his chest, but now his focus was on you, on trying to make sure that you’d be okay.

“it’s time to sleep. i’m here and if it gets too bad, wake me up. i promise i’ll be here.”

if being alive hadn’t hurt so much you would’ve thanked him, but now you just closed your eyes, and mingi watched your form almost vanish underneath the blankets he’d put on you, hoping that the next morning you’d be okay.

you woke up around one am, as the little clock on the night table told you, with your body hurting and your heart hurting even more. you wanted to be held, to be protected, you wanted to be taken care of.

“mingi”, you whimpered, hoping he’d wake up, “mingi, mingi.”

he shuffled, though you couldn’t tell if he was awake or not, so you continued whimpering, until you felt him sit up, and shortly after you heard his panicked voice.

“what’s wrong? what’s wrong, what’s wrong, are you okay?”

he sounded so scared that you felt bad, whimpering even more because everything was horrible and everything hurt.

“y/n, are you okay? do we need to go to the hospital?”, and although you couldn’t see him he was scanning your body - or, as much of it as he could see - for burns or any other clear signs of you needing immediate medical attention.

“no, i just… hug me, please”, you pleaded, him immediately complying even though he hadn’t expected this to be what you needed right now, especially not when you flinched in his embrace, but when he loosened his embrace and was about to move back you grabbed his hand, whimpering again, not wanting him to let go even if it hurt.

“is it okay? i don’t want to hurt you”, he told you with a soft voice, but he moved back closer towards you, trying hard to not move you as he came to lay as close as possible to you, one arm around you and the other above his head so that that one wouldn’t hurt you.

“don’t go”, you cried, his hold around you tightening slightly in reaction.

“i won’t go. i’ll take care of you, angel, i’ll take care of you”, he repeated against you, over and over, and you fell asleep to his promise.

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prettymuchdolansbitch · 6 years ago

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Left Behind | Nick Mara

you and nick had a special bond. you guys grew up together because your families were close, but you guys never really socialized with each other at school or anything.

that was until senior year of high school when your boyfriend was caught cheating and Nick handled the situation for you. By handled you meant that he smashed your ex’s nose, bad.

after that incident, you and nick became really close. you went with him to all his auditions and whatnot and he was by your side almost all the time.

It was the summer after you graduated when you guys began your little tradition. Before nick had to leave to LA to move in with 4 other random boys, you asked Nick to take your virginity.

The only reason you did so was because you assumed once he moved to LA, that was it for you two. You thought he’d drop you and that was it. Well, you were half right.

After Nick had moved to LA, he cut a lot of people off from back here at home. Of course you still saw his family from time to time, but even they said that Nick probably won’t be back for a little while.

The first time Nick had visited home from LA, you both somehow ended up at the same local bar. He was with his cousins and you were with some college friends. This night ended up in Nick taking you to his car outside and fucking you roughly in the backseat.

Each time you didn’t expect much. You knew his new home was still the other side of the country. This special little relationship / toxic pattern has been going on for almost 2 years now.

Nick hasn’t visited in a year. Never once has he hit you up in the past year. You were kind of upset at him but also yourself. You had yet to have a boyfriend within the past 3 years because you felt like you were betraying nick by being with someone else. Meanwhile, you were always updated with who Nick was doing or dating.

Eventually, you decided to cut ties with Nick and distance yourself from his family. You started going on dates with different guys that have been trying for you. One night, as you’re getting ready to go out to the club, you see that Nick had posted on his close friends list on instagram.

you open it as you let your makeup set and see that he’s home. “holy shit” you thought to yourself. you took some deep breaths and exited out. you hoped that he would just remember not to text you or anything, but the other half of you wanted him to beg for you.

Nick on the other hand was sitting in the back of his mom’s car with his dog just scrolling through stories when he landed on yours. He saw that you were out and wondered if you were mad he hasn’t come back in a year.

“Aye ma. Do you guys still talk to the (your last name)‘s?” He asked as he watched the video of you dancing with your friends. “Oh yeah. Of course. Y/N hasn’t really been around as often though. She probably got busy with her new job and everything.”

Nick nodded. “new job?” He questioned realizing that he never really ever asked Y/N about her.

“She got a gig with that modeling company? I always forget it. But you can ask her at dinner tomorrow. i invited everyone over.” Nick’s breath got caught in his throat. “tomorrow?” “yeah just a little welcome back dinner for you.”

It was Sunday morning when you woke up to multiple calls from your mother. “Yes mother?” You finally answer her call. “We have dinner tonight at the Mara’s if you’d like to join.” She said straight out.

“Um i don’t think that’s the best idea. With my whole situation.” You said laying down again. You were lucky enough that your mom was your best friend. She knew that you needed to move on from Nick and she did her best to help and understand you. “I know honey. You don’t have to go, me and your father can go and just say you’re feeling ill and that you have a shoot tomorrow morning” You laughed as your mom made the best excuse for you in seconds.

“alright thanks mom. i’ll talk to you later, i gotta walk Moosh.” You hung up and got up. Your french bulldog was laying on the bed just staring at you.

Later on that night, Nick was the first to be ready when the doorbell rang. “Nick can you get that? I’m just changing!” He heard his mom yell. “Yeah!” He yelled back. He added his final touch to his outfit which was his gold chain and gold chain bracelet. The chain was from his mom and the bracelet was from you. He hoped you would notice it and get all sentimental with him.

Nick ran down the steps with his dog following close behind. He unlocked the door and opened the door to your parents. “My second pair of parents! How are you guys?” He asked as he hugged your mom and gave your dad a handshake.

He saw no sign of you though. “ We’re good honey! Let’s go inside before we freeze to death” Your mom laughed as she stepped inside.

“Uhh. i gotta go do something real quick. My mom should be down in a second. Make yourselves at home.” He directed at the kitchen table. Nick immediately ran to the bathroom and pulled out his phone.

He went to find your contact and texted you. “Hey wya”

You were folding your laundry as you heard your phone buzz from behind you. You looked and saw it was Nick. You shook your head and left it alone.

Then it started buzzing more. He started just spamming your phone. You put your phone on do not disturb and continued cleaned your house.

Nick gave up trying to get your attention and went downstairs to have dinner with everyone. During the whole dinner, nick barely participated as his mind was on you and why you weren’t answering as you usually would.

Allie had to slap nick to make sure he was still there. He was zoned out until he heard your name in the conversation. His mom had asked where she was. He made a mental note to thank his mom later.

“Oh she wasn’t feeling good, and she has a photoshoot in the morning. So she’s resting right now” As soon as nick got his answer, he shot up to go to her.

“Do you mind if i just stop over there? Wanna see how she’s doing and everything..” Nick was about to run off when your mom stopped him. “Honey, i dont think that’s the best idea right now” That’s when Nick realized that she lied about you being sick.

Your mom would always let him over even when you didn’t want him. Something had to be going on. “Nick sit and eat” His mom said and continued talking to y/n’s parents.

the rest of the night his mind was on you and you only. whenever someone would ask him about the band or anything in general he would just brush it off or answer dryly.

when the dinner was over, your parents left and nick went to his room. he kept texting you asking where you were and why didn’t you come over.

it was midnight now when you heard a light knock on your window. “what the hell?” you saw nick standing on your balcony looking around.

you open your window slightly. “what the hell are you doing nick?” you ask as he lays his eyes on you for the first time in a year.

“you didn’t come.” he said looking upset. “i know. and i’m sure my mom told you that i have to be resting right now.”

“yeah.. congratulations on landing that gig by the way. i should’ve texted-“ you cut him off before he could finish. “what do you want nick?” you sighed. you were completely over whatever game he was playing.

“uh i. i just wanted to check up and see you.. you weren’t answering my texts and i missed you.”

“nick you should go-“ “wait. please. i’m sorry for ghosting you. i was going through some shit and i -“

“you don’t think i was? you had all your little hoes out in la and i was here, being loyal for what? i’m done nick. we both gotta move on. you live across the country. and-“

“i’ll move back if that’s what it takes” he said staring at you. you shook your head. “you know i would never ask for you to put me above your career. and it’s not the distance. i just don’t trust you nick. I’m sorry. Please go home”

That was the last thing nick expected to hear come out of your mouth. He thought you guys would confess your undying love for each other and live happily ever after.

He knew that dream was over after you shut your window and locked it. Nick had never felt so much guilt and regret. He didn’t want to leave you behind, but things got so crazy in LA, and he could barely keep up.

Leaving you behind would probably be the number one thing he regrets for a while.

#prettymuch #nick mara #nick mara imagines

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k-drabblings · 6 years ago

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only then (pt. 5)

KIM JIWON (BOBBY) X READER Type | Genre: badboy au | fluff/angst Word Count: 1663 A/N: I thought this was much longer than 1.6k words... Guess not. Also I do update very very slow, I know. It’s mostly because I have no idea what to write next, and I don’t want to write nonsense. So thank you for your patience. I hope this doesn’t disappoint! To be honest, it feels a little weird to write about Hanbin after the huge scandal, but it felt weirder leaving him out of the story after including him in the beginning.

Also wtf happened to line breaks? Why is that not an option anymore? This sucks.

part one two three four

Jiwon looked at the well healed scar on his arm fondly, running his finger along the raised ridge. His smile couldn’t help but widen as his phone buzzed.

[23:22] y/n: i can’t sleep [23:22] jiwon: y? [23:22] jiwon: cause ur too excited to be talking to me? [23:23] y/n: ... zzz ... [23:23] y/n: o look i fell asleep

He chuckled. Within a matter of days, teasing had already become part of their regular banter. So cute.

[23:23] jiwon: ... [23:23] jiwon: do u think ur funny or something bc let me tell u rn that u r not [23:23] jiwon: boooooooo [23:24] y/n: if im so unfunny then y r u texting me hmm HMM??? [23:24] jiwon: cause i pity u [23:24] y/n: ... [23:24] y/n: GOODNIGHT

Even though he knew was joking, his fingers still quickly scrambled to reply.

[23:24] jiwon: im just kidding!! [23:24] jiwon: ur funny sometimes [23:24] jiwon: a little bit [23:24] jiwon: real little [23:25] y/n: then go talk to ur other super exciting and funny friends y dont u [23:25] jiwon: now dont be jealous [23:25] jiwon: the more time u spend with me the more exciting and fun u become [23:25] y/n: ive only seen u like 3x [23:25] jiwon: thats y ur so not funny

His finger hovered over the keyboard, wondering if he should type out the next line. He knew it was probably a bad idea, but he couldn’t help himself. Fuck it. He firmly pressed the upward arrow.

[23:26] jiwon: so i guess we’ve come to the logical conclusion that we should hang out more [23:26] y/n: i guess we have

You felt bold as you sent that last message. Was this considered flirting? You hadn’t known that your heart rate could increase so much within a mere 4 minutes. The past few nights had consisted of increasingly witty and teasing messages - messages that got your heart racing, your face flushing, and your imagination going a little crazy. Nothing even close to romantic had happened between you and him, and yet your ridiculous mind was coming up with possible scenarios that could maybe (just maaaybe) happen in the nearby future. You felt like an silly high schooler again, getting too easily excited over someone you barely knew. You didn’t even know how exactly how old he was or what he did for living.

But all those unanswered questions just made you more excited - kind of like a good mystery book you just didn’t want to put down.

[23:27]: jiwon: ok so whens ur next day off

Your breath hitched. You were off the upcoming Thursday, which was in 2 days. You hadn’t expected the next time you were going to see Jiwon to come so soon. You were used to seeing him like twice a month. You knew you could simply lie and give him your next day off, which was in a week or so, but you knew you didn’t want to wait that long.

[23:28] y/n: thursday [23:28] jiwon: ok cool so ill see u then [23:28] jiwon: and if ur busy... [23:28] jiwon: make yourself unbusy thanks

Your lips curled into a smile. How could someone this cute possibly be bad news?

“You’re distracted, Hyung.” Donghyuk mumbled quietly so Hanbin wouldn’t hear.

“Hm?” Jiwon murmured. “Nah, I’m good.”

Donghyuk’s eyes narrowed as he carefully tried to peer over Jiwon’s shoulder to see what was keeping him so preoccupied. A girl’s name. He rolled his eyes. He was more than willing to bet that this was the same girl that had so nicely bandaged Jiwon up that rainy night. “Let’s keep outsiders... outsiders, okay, Hyung?” Donghyuk warned in a hushed tone.

Jiwon immediately shut off his phone screen and gave his younger friend a long hard stare. “I’m not fucking stupid, okay?”

And of course, despite Donghyuk’s words, he still went to see her on Thursday. They met up later in the afternoon, mainly because he slept in well into the afternoon. Since he did his work mainly at night, his sleeping schedule tended to be slightly off. When he woke up, you were getting some errands done - groceries and such. That gave him some time to get dressed and ready - he wanted to look good for the first date. This is a date right? He hadn’t made it explicitly clear, but he was hoping you were on the same page as he was.

He recalled the the other day that you had said you wanted to try this restaurant that you had seen on some celebrities eating on TV. And since it was on the other side of Seoul Station, they could walk along Seoullo 7017 along the way. He supposed that would be a good, somewhat nice way to start the date.

And you were delightfully surprised at how much Jiwon had actually planned out. You wouldn’t say it aloud, but you had been expecting somewhat of a haphazard schedule of activities that randomly popped up into his mind.

“You look cute.” You jokingly scowled. “Are you saying I wasn’t cute before?” He rolled his eyes and laughed. “That’s exactly what I’m saying.” He put his hands up defensively when he earned a playful punch to the arm. “Hey, you gotta appreciate my honesty, right?” He grinned. “No, but seriously. You should wear dresses more often.”

“Thanks,” you mumbled shyly, having always been slightly awkward at accepting compliments. You glanced down at your outfit. It was a pretty plain dress, but this was the most dressed up he had ever seen you.

“Where’s the scar from - if you don’t mind me asking?” He asked, pointing to the mark on your forearm. If it hadn’t been for that scar, he probably would have never recognized you. “Nothing cool,” you responded. “Got it while I was helping out at the bakery a while ago. Hot stuff can do that to you sometimes, you know.” He laughed. “See? You’re already getting funnier - thanks to me.” You rolled your eyes exaggeratedly but couldn’t help but join him in laughter.

You were sure he had a fair share of scars all over his body, and also exciting stories behind them. But you were reluctant to ask, afraid that it could ruin the lighthearted mood.

The rest of the evening went by in a blur - partially because Jiwon had convinced you to share a bottle of soju with him during dinner. ‘You can’t enjoy pork belly without soju!’ he had insisted. You had initially refused, being worried that you might end up blabbering and saying something stupid or embarrassing. But Jiwon was one convincing young man.

But luckily the only embarrassing thing that slipped out was a, “Fine, you’re kinda cute, okay?” after he had pestered you about what you thought about him. And boy, did he enjoy that answer.

You were partially disappointed when the date ended with a simple hug. You probably would have thought he were moving too fast if he had gone in for a kiss, but by no means would you have refused. In fact, as much as you hated to admit it, you'd immediately have shut your eyes and puckered your lips. But a long, warm hug was what you got tonight. And you weren’t complaining. "Thanks. Today was really fun,” you said with a warm smile. “Okay, so when can we have fun again?”

All of a sudden, you had something to look forward to every week. Every date with Jiwon was exciting. You got to experience thrilling things like ziplining, but even just sitting at a cafe and chatting got your heart pumping. You felt like your life had been recharged. You had even bravely kissed him on the cheek when he had dropped you off at your door tonight.

As Jiwon walked over to work after dropping you off, he heard a familiar voice calling his name. “Jiwon Hyung! Hyung!” Junhoe shouted from down the block. "Where’re you coming from?” He asked, frowning. Wherever Jiwon was coming from, it wasn’t from the direction of his home. Jiwon played it off vaguely. “Just was doing something. Don’t worry about it.” “Come on, tell me!” Junhoe whined. “Why’s it a secret, huh?” Jiwon pressed his fingers against his tall friend’s forehead and gave it a good shove. “Have you ever heard of a personal space? Look it up.” He couldn’t recall the last time anyone had made him so easily excited, and he wasn’t willing to part with you now.

His friends had also noticed that he was constantly in a good mood these past few weeks. Donghyuk wasn’t too happy about it, but the others seemed to enjoy having a less moody Jiwon around. He wondered if Hanbin knew what Jiwon was getting himself into outside of work. But he didn’t want to tick off Jiwon, so he kept his mouth shut. A pissed off Jiwon was one scary man.

“How long do u plan on keeping this up, Hyung? It’s going to serve as a distraction to you and a danger to her. She doesn’t even know what you really do. If you tell her, do you think she’ll stay?” Donghyuk hissed. “Yeah, right.” “I know. I know.” Jiwon mumbled. This was like the fifth time he had approached him about this issue. He was thankful that Donghyuk hadn’t blabbed to the rest of the guys, but it was a disturbing reminder every time. Why was it so wrong to enjoy it while it lasted?

#jiwon #kim jiwon #bobby kim #bobby #ikon #ikon bobby #kpop scenarios #kpop fanfics #jiwon x reader #bobby x reader #ikon scenarios #kpop imagines

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mischiefruled · 5 years ago

Text

week #1 - organizing & outlining

So, just got through with my first week at uni. Only two lectures so far, both mostly full of introductions and occasional interruptions by a healthinspection team for corona. Honestly, didn’t learn anything I hadnt already in a levels, but thats ok. Introductory classes after all. I’m just hoping my one edge lasts when I’m in a class fullll of kids from families of law firms and politicians.

Right now I have a few questions I need to answer.

What do I give priority to here at the start?

How should I divide my studies up? What types of notes should I make? How should I go about this?

What resources do I need to pick and look for?

What is the purpose of this blog?

ANSWER #1

I have a lot to improve on. But to look at each thing is so overwhelming that it leaves me in a state of paralyis. So for now, Im listing them out in order of importance to me

> Get my shit in order. Collect my books, get my new laptop, and set up a good study space

> Figure out my routine. I hate routine. But without any good transport methods it becomes necessary. Two issues with this, one that my mom is difficult and doesnt give me a lot of control on my own schedule. Second is that the library has the texts, but my home has the laptop. I suppose I’ll start taking my ext hard drive but it’ll still be a tad inconvenient

> Make friends and connections. I really need to set up a study system, I like stuydying with people. I also need people to fall back on in case I miss lectures and the like. As much as I hate interacting with people who I can’t be myself around, it will be a necessity. Tangentially related, I need to figure out how I want to appear to others + buy some new clothes for God’s sake.

> Learn TOUCH TYPING. This will be essential if our exams will be given online. Even now I’m typing with jsut two fingers. god. Need to get a speed of 80wpm by the end of this year. Please.

ANSWER #2

I’ve got 5 notebooks so far: class notes, personal notes, cases and summaries, general notebook? [not so sure about this one], and I plan on buying a binder with loose paper to organize final notes. Another thing I need to consider is using OneNote, but that’ll be easier when I finally get my own laptop.

I’ll divide by subject, subjects into chapters, then each chapter as a whole into different aspects to study with.

Primary notes [study guide] + Extra material notes + core concepts and analysis.

Furthermore, summarize each chapter in my own words in an essay form. A blog post from an old LLB UoL graduate recommedned something similar.

Finally, do the activities and tasks at the end of the module.

Now, further along the road, I should start looking up past papers and examiners reports. I should regularly consult my professors too, ask them on my methods and clear up any confusion I may have in my core concepts. Perhaps I’ll find a purpose for that general notebook after all in this regard lol

ANSWER #3

I dont quite know why I asked myself that on this blog post... I’m already looking through the study guide for stuff to refer to. Must remind myself to consult professors on what material is most necessary as well.

ANSWER #4

A few things come to mind. i want this blog to motivate me, first of all.

Collect tips, advice, and resources

Weekly summaries of what I’ve done and how uni went and general areas I need to improve upon

Perhaps I should upload chapter summary essays on here too. If I type out my notes on cases as well I will post them here.

Links and stuff I find interesting

Organize my reading list and how far I am with them. Include them in my weekly updates. Perhaps my weekly updates should also contain my goals for the week

┈ ┈ ┈ ⋞ 〈 ⏣ 〉 ⋟ ┈ ┈ ┈

WELL now that ive managed to spell all that out for myself, I think ill just talk about other stuff now.

the teachers seem nice. the criminal law prof does sound a bit intimidating but the lsm professor was very lax, and the contract law prof was very helpful in explanations and i had a talk with him about materials.

i met three people in class so far, janita, sofia, and zainab. i will try talking to them more, but theyre all rather shy in my opinion. i met an IR student called nawal, she was very sweet and likes makeup and fashion. we talked enthusiastically within moments of meeting one another, i cant even remember how many topics we bounced back and forth between. very easy to talk to, and she doesnt have an instagram so.. well not to be superficial , but that does my raise my opinion of her.

thats all for the personal section

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WEEKS GOALS

get laptop

make fee payment to uol

pester SWQ for study guide. i know he has some copies squirelled away i know it..!!!

ask about student gym + again pester SWQ abt the current library system cause.. wtf!

┈ ┈ ┈ ⋞ 〈 ⏣ 〉 ⋟ ┈ ┈ ┈

READING

In order of importance

LSM UoL study guide [5/7]

Criminal Law UoLstudy guide [3/15]

Public Law UoL study guide [0/20]

Contract Law UoL study guide [0/17]

Learning Legal Rules [0/12]

I made it through 5 chapters with notes within a week. Assuming I can up the pace to about 6, I can manage to get halfway through the rest of these study guides within 3 or 4 weeks.

I only need to get halfway through, because I need to be slightly ahead of the class, not fully. Then I can focus on learning through textbooks, starting with LSM. It’s the most boring, so Id like it out of the way as soon as possible.

#weekly log #mine

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oli-vi-aaaaaaa · 8 years ago

Photo

*Requested*

Request: Can you do a Bellamy imagine where you're ice nation royalty like roans sister and a total badass warrior and Bellamy has a huge crush on you??

A/N: sorry this took so long, i had to rewrite it a few times to get it the way i wanted it to turn out. so i hope you dont mind but i made it so that this is set when the ice queen is still alive and the reader disagrees with her moms leading style so she stays with the skaikru and helps them. also i kinda based their relationship in this off of rosa and charles from brooklyn nine nine. anywho this is mostly fluff and bellamy being a cute lil baby. + im trying something new, and decided to play with the povs a little but because it made the fic cuter. ill see how it turns out and if i dont like it i wont do it again after this. update: ive finally finished this and i dont rlly like the pov switch thing so i wont do it anymore and i dont rlly like how this turned out but im hoping you guys will like it. bye!

Y/N

“Hey Y/n,” Bellamy greeted, interrupting me from my battle strategy talk with Clarke. “Hey,” I greeted back. He walked away and I smiled, looking down. “You like him, don’t you,” Clarke asked. “No! I could never, he’s a grounder. He just makes things a little more bearable over here, that’s all,” I explained. “If you say so.”

BELLAMY

I smiled and walked over to Raven and Abby after talking to Y/n. “Hey lover boy,” Raven said. I rolled my eyes and looked over to Y/n and saw she had began to start training other men, fighting with them and teaching them how to use Tricru weapons. “You like her, don’t you,” Abby asked him. “What? No I don’t! She’s Ice Nation I could never like her. She’s just nice to talk to,” Bellamy denied. “Whatever you say boss,” Raven teased.

I heard a sword clatter to the ground and someone gasp. I looked up and saw Y/non the ground holding her arm, with one of our men above her holding a sword. “Y/n,” I shouted while running over to her. “Leave,” I demanded the man. He nodded his head and ran off.

“Are you okay,” I rushed out, kneeling beside her. “Yeah,” she muttered. My hands hovered over her arm, afraid of hurting her. “Look, my arm is kind of gushing out blood right now so if you could be so kind as to help me up I would be grateful, and might even let you take me out on a date. But we’ll talk about that when I’m not at risk of dying of blood loss,” she told me angrily. “Yeah, of course. Sorry,” I apologized, slightly breathless and in a daze from the thought of going on a date with her. I grabbed her waist and pulled her up as gently as I could. She muttered a thank you and began walking away. I followed behind her silently.

Y/N

”What are you doing,” I asked him, watching as he followed me to Abby. “I’m coming with you to make sure you’re okay,” he informed me. “Why,” I asked suspiciously, narrowing my eyes at him. “Because you’re my best fighter... And I want to make sure you’re okay,” he confessed. I smiled slightly and nodded my head. “Okay.”

BELLAMY

We made it to Abby and as soon as she saw the blood seeping through Olivia’s hand she dropped everything she was holding. “What happened,” she questioned loudly, the concern practically radiating off of her body. “I got a little scratch on the training grounds,” Y/n answered. shrugging a little. Her eyes shut tight for a second and she took a deep breath, her grip on her arm tightening.

“Come over here. Sit down right here,” Abby demanded, dragging her over to one of the beds. Y/n sat down and watched as Abby ran over to grab her medical supplies. I saw her stiffen when she saw Abby grab a needle and medical thread. “Alright Y/n, first I need to clean the wound. Raven, pass me the moonshine,” she said. Raven gave her the moonshine and once Y/n let go of her arm Abby began to poor it over the wound. Y/n’s eyes shut and I could see her body tense up. “This is a really deep cut Y/n. I’m going to have to make a lot more stitches than I thought I would,” she told her regretfully. She sighed and looked up to me. I smiled reassuringly. “Okay, let’s do this,” she said.

Y/N

Bellamy walked over and sat next to me, grabbing my hand when he noticed me staring at Abby as she prepared to stitch me up. I squeezed his hand subconsciously and out of the corner of my eye I saw him blush. “Tell anyone about this and I’ll kill you,” I threatened, gesturing to our linked hands. “Okay,” he replied, still blushing. “I’m ready,” Abby called out. I nodded my head and readied myself. She began the stitches and I felt my breath hitch for a second, before squeezing Bellamy’s hand again and taking a deep breath. I stayed calm for the rest of the time, occasionally squeezing his hand if the pain got to be a little too much. “You are doing amazing Y/n, I’m almost done,” Abby praised. I smiled, Abby has kind of been my mother figure ever since I left Ice Nation. “Thanks,” I murmured.

A few minutes, later my stitches were all done. “Thanks Abby,” I thanked, smiling at her, “Thank you too Bellamy, for being my personal stress ball.” I got up and started to walk out the door before Abby called out to me. “Hold on Y/n, I have a few ground rules for you while you’re arm is healing,” she told me. I paused my actions and reluctantly turned around. “What are they?” “You’re going to have to wait go back onto the training grounds for at least a month. No heavy lifting. Lots of sleeping. Speaking of, you should get some sleep right now,” she told me. I groaned and walked over to the bed, laying down. “Goodnight Y/n.” Bellamy whispered. “Night Bell.”

BELLAMY

I began to walk out the door. stopping when I heard Y/n call out my name, “Bellamy, wait!” I turned around to face her. “Yeah?” “Will you stay with me,” she asked quietly. My eyebrows raised up and I felt myself start to blush. “I-uh-of course,” I stuttered out. “It’s just because I’m injured and if we were to be under attack I wouldn’t be able to defend myself,” she explained quickly. “Of course, smart,” I replied. I sat down on the floor next to her. “You can get into bed with me y’know,” she called out. “I don’t want to hurt your-” “I’ll be fine just come lie down next to me, dork,” she demanded. I got up, blushing for what must’ve been the thousandth time that day, and laid down next to her. She hesitantly laid her head on my shoulder and I put my arm around her. “Goodnight,” I whispered. “Goodnight.”

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