#((i may have said so earlier in the tags but honestly in some ways; emily may have benefitted))

[theheadlessgroom]

"I-I'd love to!"

Randall's heart leaped at the suggestion; it didn't matter that it was so short-notice, and so soon after this first date. After all, it wasn't like he had much planned for this day off, honestly; for the most part on his free days, he played it by ear. Sleeping in, lazing about the house, taking it easy, leisurely meals with his folks...it was all very nice, but an evening spent with her sounded like heaven.

"U-Uh, I-I have a Bride of Frankenstein model kit I haven't opened yet," he added; another discounted kit he was able to get his hands on; he had the Monster, but not his Bride yet. "Uh, I-I could bring that and my paints, and if there's anything else you might like me to bring over for dinner, uh, any drinks or dessert or something like that, I can!"

He almost suggested painting his London After Midnight kit he'd gotten for his birthday that spring (a surprise gift from his parents he was thrilled to receive), but he held off on suggesting it-vampires didn't seem to be her favorite monsters, and so he offered the Bride as an option instead, hoping she'd like that better.

@beatingheart-bride

Emily wasn't the only one wishing the night would never end: As they all sat together, chatting away, his parents quickly warming up to this curious young woman their son had brought home, Randall found himself similarly wishing the night would go on, never to end. Even as he eyed the clock as it chimed from its place on the mantle, he wished he could stay up all night with the lovely woman by his side. He knew he'd be dragging his feet tomorrow (even if it was still his day off), but it'd be more than worth it in his opinion.

But all good things must come to an end, and so eventually the Pace parents were preparing to head off to bed-but not before thanking Emily for coming by, June commenting, "I'm very glad you stopped by, dear, I hope we'll see you again! If you'd like to join us for dinner sometime, we'd be more than happy to have you at our table."

Randall visibly brightened at the prospect of Emily coming over for dinner one of these nights (though he also made a note to himself to let his mother know about her garlic allergy, so that they could prepare accordingly); he'd have to give her a call one of these nights, see if she'd be open to it...

"W-Would you like me to walk you home, Emily?" Randall offered, tone sweet and chivalrous as he fiddled with his shirt cuff, hoping she would say yes-it wasn't that he didn't think she could get home by herself, he was just hoping to milk as much time with her as he could...

[rora-ish]

its like 5 in the morning and ive woken up crying. i have a stalker at work, he comes in every day and today everyone actually saw for the first time as he followed me down an aisle when i tired to get out of his way. im scared, its so real, i had hoped i was just being dramatic, but grown men i work with had to step between us before i could get to the back office.

hes like 6’5, and honestly very intimidating, and the guard - maybe the only person i could rely on to actually save me if i need it - is saying ‘oh, hes arabic i think, theyre always very intense, it will be fine’ it will not be fine.

id say 40% of the people i deal with daily are foreign, and alot of them arabic, none of them have done this or made me so scared.

the first time he came in, last friday i think, it was late and i was alone on self checkout, no workers no customers, and i made eye contact with him as he came in (immediately thinking from the way he was looking for where i was, that he was trying to steal) only for him to walk right to the tagged alcohol at the front and crouch there. i carried on cleaning, watching him in the reflection of the window and seeing that he was staring at me every time he could. i got that gut feeling, the fear, the flight, and called bekkie down to come stand with me, and she saw first hand what he was doing. it seemed to scare him away quite a bit so he went to the other end of the store and eventually bekkie moved away - and he came back, did it all over again, bought a pack of beer and left. even as he was leaving he turned around to look at me a few times, which my manager vaguely saw.

the next day, he came in again, earlier, and i was on a till. bekkie was on self checkout and immediately spotted him. watching him, it was very clear he was looking for something (which i now think was me) and when he somehow didnt see me he very quickly bought beer and left - only to then see and stare at me as he passed me on the way out. we’d been kind of watching him the whole time between us, he hadnt stopped to look twice at anything the whole time, but looked like he was searching for me.

yesterday he came in again, around 4:45 i think, and i was on self checkout, but a few other were on bread and close by. as soon as i saw him come in, i watched as he spotted me and did a full change of direction to head for me, so i immediately walked onto bread and gave the fobs to emily so i coukd run to the warehouse and get out of his way - to which he visbly changed his course again and followed me, which she saw, and then called me out of his way and to the offices to go hide behind a locked door instead. i obviously didnt see but i assume she saw him try to follow me again based on the look on her face. i went into the offices and spoke to adam( the manager) and we pinpointed him at the back of the store looking at nothing, trying to waste time like he had the first night, and pointed him out to the guard again. adam came and ‘worked’ with me to see him for himself, and as the guy walked back past he stared at me again. i didnt stick around to see him leave or let him stare anymore, but jay said he left on a bike past the window.

so now im crying, wondering if he’ll come again tomorrow (based on badically three days running im assuming yes) and praying i wont be alone without a headset when he does, and that nick will take me seriously and help me. when i mentioned the situation after the first day he made some crude jokes aboit not bending over in front of guys - very lighthearted, the kind of jokes we all share honestly, and hes been good at taking me seriously in the past when i need him to, but im scared still.

this guy is tall, he seems to always wear a black cap and backpack, and if he wanted to do anything there is no way in reasonable hell i would be able to stop him. as odd of a detail as it may seem, i also know he isnt muslim, since he buys alcohol - the guard said he might be and hdnt really been around women in tight clothes and hair out before - but again, i see thousands of people a day, and hes the only one in 7 months there that has made me this uncomfortable.

im so fucking scared, and im considering quitting

[woozi]

Um this might be annoying but your descriptions on that mutuals as svt members was so wholesome! So I thought if you could name your mutuals and say what you like abt them? Your favorite thing about them kinda? Idk I thought it was cute but you don't have to do it if you don't want to ! 💚💚💚

i went through my following list and i think these are all of my carat mutuals/friends <3 i only included those who i'm mutuals with here on this blog, but with that in mind i hope i included the right people/and all of you! if not, i may have gotten confused with your main and sideblogs. :/ i divided this into 4 sections (because that's how i think of them in my head, lol). so, without further ado, here they are in the order of my following list (from the most recent):

caratblr

@leechaerok (mirelle) - mi!! i love how you are always striving to be positive and that this is something you share and extend to other people! you literally remind me of sunshine and i hope that only good things are coming ur way. ily!!

@ohoshi (cora) - cora my naughty (IN A PLAYFUL WAY) friend <3 cora's really fun to talk to and she keeps you on your toes. idk why i didn't follow her earlier (i didnt know i wasn't following her jsdjkdsjsdk). extremely talented!! also love the upbeat vibe.

@soonyoungs (cara) - same with cora, i've been seeing cara around but never got to interact with her until recently! i love how versatile cara is and how she always always always appreciates even the little things. 10/10 would let her visit my home again <3

@wrongnanab (aya) - i get mom/older sister friend vibes from aya and i think it suits her a lot. she’s also not afraid of reaching out and i love that sm about her!! i relate to her a lot and i love how she’s always there.

@junhaoshua (e) - something interesting always comes up every time i speak to e! i also love her initiative and how well she manages her time. she’s really passionate about the things she likes and i love how she can get people to be interested in them too!

@choibeomgyus (kale) - kale has excellent taste! i love her aes so much. <3 her work is particularly right up my alley and i just love how clean looking they are. kale’s also such a sweet friend, and she’s not shy about showing affection. i love her sm!!

@dokyom (izy) - izy’s one of the first carats i first followed when i got into caratblr and i’m so glad to have made that decision! her work always wows me and although we haven’t talked much, she’s one of the people i always look out for in here.

@seohoshi (nele) - nele, my mutual at heart. <3 the way we became mutuals is so funny and memorable to me, and i can’t say that about most people! i really like the way nele presents herself as well. she can have fun while still being collected, which i find really interesting. i think she’s someone who brings stability, but i can’t really explain why i get that from her. <3

@art-hao (carrie) - goddess on earth. so elegant. a literal virgo. i love how carrie doesn’t want to be too invested in one single thing. that being said, she’s multitalented, yet is skilled in each of the fields she’s venturing in. she also speaks what’s on her mind, and i admire that a lot. what can’t this woman do :/  

@svtreasure (kate) - kate is one of the first people i got to talk to here on caratblr! and although she’s not on here that much, i always look forward to seeing her. i feel like i have to protect her like a younger sibling <3

@uriboogyu (lee) - lee definitely has feisty younger sibling vibes which i think is so cute! like carrie and e, she’s not afraid of saying what’s on her mind. lee is also such a go-getter! the future is very bright for this one <3

@smallkore (kore) - i remember first talking to kore after she tagged all 3 of my active blogs in one post, and i thought it was kind of funny <3 kore is super talented and entertaining! i also think she’s super interesting, and i love her strange picture collection. <3

@rq-s (katrina) - katrina is also one of the first few people who i interacted with here on caratblr! she is so supportive and always has a nice word for everyone. even though she isn’t here much, i always like seeing her around <3

@boosbin (isa) - iconic. legend. will kick your ass. my beloved <3 isa is SUPER talented and she never fails to amaze me. she’s also very relatable and is super fun to talk to! idk i’m just really fond of isa lol

@dk-s (zay) - i love zay’s sense of style and her overall aesthetic! she also is really smart and gets really invested in her interests. i love her dedication and initiative!

@scoupsy (dreamy) - dreamy and i haven’t really talked much aside from interactions here and there, but she’s someone i really admire. i love how she doesn’t take anyone’s shit and knows what she wants. she’s really skilled in her areas of interest and takes pride in her excellent work. love that about her!! 

@julyprince (madison) - i was really shocked when madison followed me back because i love her work so much! i love how she is so consistent and dedicated (honestly, the constant 9 sets say it all <3). she’s intimidating at first, but she is actually so nice and likes reaching out!

@xuseokgyu (belle) - one of my treasured moots. belle is literally the seok to my soon. <3 she doesn’t know it, but i was kind of shy during my earlier days in caratblr, and she encouraged me to be myself just because she was always reaching out to me. i see belle as someone who really nurtures and is just a reliable older sister for me!

@haniehae (anna) - also one of my favorites <3 anna doesn’t really need too much words but u can always feel the love from her by her little tags here and there. she’s also super supportive and very appreciative of the little things! anna is such a cute person to have around. i lalso love how much work she puts into caratblr. also an amazing dancer oh my god???????

@jaemtens (kevin) - like dreamy, kevin and i haven’t really talked much, but i always love seeing him on the dash! one of the people i admire. it absolutely blows my mind how he has a phd (about to have one? :D) and that he’s still somehow able to make gifs (BEAUTIFULLY!) consistently. love that dedication, wish that were me!!

@tearsofsyrup (vi) - vi thinking of me and tagging me on cute stuff really just makes me feel so :’>. i love how easygoing vi is and i just feel light whenever we interact!!

@soonhoonsol (chey) - everyone’s bestie!! chey literally is the go-to person on caratblr. idk how she manages to do it but she’s always so nice to everyone and really does go out of her way to make everyone feel comfortable! chey has a special place in my heart, and my stay in caratblr wouldn’t be the same without her. <3

@iiasha (emily) - you all don’t understand how much i LOVE emily. i can’t even explain why i love her i just do. she’s also one of the first people i followed when i came on caratblr and i’m so glad to have met her here on our own personal hellsite. emily’s the perfect balance of smart, cool, and funny (this sentence sounds lame as fuck but idk how else to put it)! i appreciate how much she likes her job and that’s something i hope to also imitate! i’ve said it before but i also really love how generous she is. emily also made my stay here on caratblr very enjoyable and i always love reading her text posts <3 i think tumblr junation would nearly die without her so go thank her rn. (she also spotted me turning full dinonara without me even noticing that i am one so. <3 /mwah/)

@coupsnim (izzie) - izzie gives me calm artsy vibes.  her work is always stunning omg. queen of red lips (and i think it’s so fitting bc it suits cheol the best imo???). ALSO love how much she loves cheol!! izzie’s just a sweetheart. <3 would also support ur 0 note posts, lol.

@kyeomshine (lyns) - lyns coloring queen <3 i looove how clean and cohesive her work always is! she’s also one of the people who encouraged me to stay here on caratblr (although she doesn’t know it!!). and though we don’t see lyns as much nowadays, i still think of her as the resident dk fan <3 one of the memorable people for me.

@heartgyus (rhys) - my sister (dISGUSTANG!!). my enemy. THE mutual to have homoerotic subtext with. rhys is actually my closest friend on caratblr. she’s multitalented, almost all-knowing, and has prettie vibes. i’m not elaborating anymore from here on out because i just know she’s gonna be a little devil about it on the dms. 🙄

@hanwooz (kellie & christine) - one of my absolute favorite blogs! i think of them as one of the constants of caratblr. i absolutely love their posts sm and just enjoy when they’re around!! (and how do ur gifs always look good omg tell me ur secrets pls <3)

@7ww​ (yasmin) - one of my favorite (if not my favorite) gfx maker!! i love how you can immediately tell something is from her because of their trademark look. we haven’t talked yet, but she’s one of my favorite carats!

@mngys​ (sofi) - coolest person in the world. idk why we’re even mutuals i don’t deserve this <3 sofi always has the coolest ideas and i look up to her sm!! i’ve also seen her from the birdie community before i got into caratblr so i’ve been following her for quite some time now, but we became mutuals here!

aes carats

@vixenjun​ (kaya) - another one of my beloveds <3 i always say kaya is funnie and sexie but she really is, and those are always the first words i think of when i’m reminded of her. one of my absolute favorites. a bestie that's close to my heart. <3

@tiddie​ (deniz) - i don’t see deniz posting much about svt anymore, but deniz is one of my first carat moots (i followed aes carats first). this one really witnessed my jeonghan downfall. :/ so funny. is a great friend!!

@bwaldorf (ramasha) - A SWEETHEART!! ramasha and i don’t talk much anymore but when i think of her i only am reminded of good things. i rmb how much she supported my weird posts back then <3 also iconic aes hello???? 

@vernons (oona) - oona and i are literally just vibing here <3 i actually met her from the aes side of tumblr before i got into caratblr (like deniz) and discovered that she’s also a carat! i really like oona’s presence and i just feel like she’s someone i want to protect. <3 also makes amazing pastries. she’s also so pretty!!!!! (i really like ur hair sm i think i’ve said this before lol) a cute friend. would send u things saying ‘this reminded me of u’, and i’d get heart attacks from it jsdjdjksd

@oldbooks (fawn) - my frog friend. i think it’s so cute that fawn shares this agenda with hao <3 also unexpectedly tags you on things and leaves cute little notes/tags that makes me want to :’). sophisticated taste!! also really friendly. ily!!

@scoups (hani) - hani is so friendly and takes really good care of her friends!! i was intimidated of her at first, but learnt that she’s an absolute sweetheart. i love how she’s also giving us sm svt content when she’s around! hani’s a supportive friend that you’ll always find yourself looking for. 

@snwo (joy) - refined taste. funny text post advocate. i love joy’s vibe sm!! i first got to know her when she had a hao url and i was super intimidated of her. now she’s one of my absolute besties! aside from her impeccable taste, she’s also such a great friend. this one always has ur back. ily ms joy <3

@sataemism (sof) - sof literally the funniest person in the world!! i’m always happy to see her and she brings me so much joy. very lowkey chaotic vibe (the taemin and hoshi urls speak a lot abt this lol), and just a very fun person overall!!

birdie carats

@flowerbeom (kat) - kat, like the rest of those in this category, is someone i’ve been following for a while now as i came back to tumblr because of got7. kat and i haven’t really talked much but always interact with rb/s and likes and i love that JSDJSDKJDSJ that being said kat’s tags are always so enjoyable to read. + it’s so funny as well that when we actually got to talking we didn’t realize we had a lot in common! a very generous friend. gave me a yugyeom pc even though i’m literally from another continent. 😭

@tuanzie (joanna) - content queen. i looove how joanna’s work has a trademark look to them! they’re always so gorgeous and smooth-looking. i love how joanna’s able to speak her mind and would not take shit from people. i see her as someone brave, but not too out there! also someone you can rely on to put reposters on hit lists mwah<3

@gotseventeens (belle) - my name twin <3 belle is actually one of the people/reasons why i got into svt and i’m eternally grateful to her for that!! we’ve been talking since i first became a birdie but somehow we both have 0 recollections of our conversations JSDJDKSJKSDJ tumblr wouldn’t be as fun for me if belle weren’t around ngl. i love how she seems to be mature yet you’re also up for a wild ride with her!! she’s my own personal wonu <3

@secndlife (karoline) - i’ve also been following karoline since i was a birdie, but we only became mutuals here! i love her writing so much and i enjoy seeing her lose her mind over hoshi (mood <3)

@defgyus (val) - i often associate belle with val and i think they have a lot of similarities!! val also gives me the mature yet fun vibe. i think val’s so successful and i admire her a lot!! i love her work sm and just love how she interacts with people. very warm and homey!!

more carat moots i haven't really talked to but enjoy seeing on the dash

@emailclub (emily), @kyeomblr (maddie), @joshuahong (bea), @delicatecy (deli), @mintyseoks, @syuperseventeen (nat), @haol (mali), @svtclub (hannah), @cutiejoshi (siri), @chanswu (mandy), @jeonghannie (myrena), @squishy-woozi (kris), @wonwooo (hiba), @rameniji (rain), @cafevernon (ish), @hoshluv, @minghyu (nicole), @mingyiu (katya), @yeol (tat), @dearkyeom (kristy), @seokgyus (kai), @bbaksu (akemi), @1adyluck (sushi), @shineesbag (gen)

[briefinquiries]

Luke Alvez x Reader: Seeing Red

Request: “Can I request an imagine where Luke is jealous of someone the reader is interacting with? Thank you :)”

Tagged: @ssaic-jareau​ , @alvezstan​ , @saintd0lce​ , @ogmilkis​, @reidswords​ , @ssa-morgan​ , @garcias-batcave​ ,  @akimagies​, @zhangyixingxing1​ , @pinkdiamond1016​

Word count: 1.6k

Warnings: none

A/N: kjsdkljfa sweet baby luke being all insecure made me so soft, i luv him sm. pls come talk to me about luke.. ok enjoy!

You had been doing it all day. Maybe not intentionally, but enough for Luke to notice. Luke wasn’t the jealous type.  He was secure, and he felt confident in his relationship with you.  Jealousy was stupid, and Luke wasn’t stupid.  So why was he noticing the way you and the deputy of the Austin field office naturally interacted with each other with such ease?

Luke had a case file in hand.  It was pertinent that he remain focused on his assigned task.  And he tried, he really did.  He was reviewing victimology, reading up on what the Austin PD had on each of their missing women.  Or at least attempting to.  

But when the deputy made a joke and reached out to touch your arm for added effect, Luke started seeing red. 

He had to read the page four times before comprehending any of it. 

Throughout the remainder of the team’s time in Austin, Luke tried to remain level headed.  He kept reassuring himself that he was overreacting.  This wasn’t flirting.  

Emily had sent you to go with him to visit the latest crime scene upon your arrival, so he was probably just trying to be friendly- make you feel welcome.  

But did he really have to look at you like that while you delivered the profile?  Or request that you take a ride to the latest victim’s apartment with him?  And did he really have to have you doubled over laughing over something he’s said at the back table? 

Luke’s biting back the urge to cross the room and wrap his arms around you, right in front of the deputy who was simultaneously doubling as an apparent comedian.  Maybe if he pulled you in for a long kiss, it’d get this joker to back off, as he claimed you as his.

But Luke shook the thought away.  He was definitely overreacting. 

…

Luke drops a coffee cup in front of you early the next morning.  The team was still working the case in Austin, and with no new leads, it seemed likely that you’d be here for a while.  You’re hunched over a pile of paperwork, a piece of banana bread in your hand.  

Luke watches as you flash him an appreciative smile.  “Thanks, but I’ve already had some today.  Why don’t you give this to Tara?  She takes her coffee the same as I do.”

But Luke frowns.  “When did you have time to get coffee?” he asks, already knowing that you’d been in the precinct all night. 

Without even looking up from the file in front of you, you reply, “I didn’t, Henry brought me one, and this bread.  You gotta try some, it’s his grandma’s recipe-”

Luke’s jaw drops.  A gesture you don’t notice, because you’re too busy focusing on banana bread.  What you do notice, is the way he scoffs lightly.  It makes your head turn. 

By the time you look up, Luke’s already standing up.  He grabs the coffee off from the table harshly, and without a word, drops the full cup in the trash can before exiting the room. 

…

He wasn’t angry.

At least not at you.  

You and Luke had a solid relationship.  He trusted you and that was all there was to it. Whether it was Henry, or another coworker, or any of your male friends, or whoever-  Luke wasn’t worried and you never gave him a reason to be.

But Luke didn’t like the way seeing you with the deputy made him feel.  Like at any moment, you could leave him for someone with dirty blonde hair and fair skin and biceps bigger than his.  It made him feel vulnerable, like he had something to lose- because he had everything to lose. 

…

The team spends six grueling days in Austin before catching the Unsub responsible for kidnapping and murdering 3 women.  

Luke had been avoiding you for the vast majority of the week.  He’d work late hours, leave the room when you entered, never meet your gaze.  It was more for his own sanity than anything.  This sudden realization that you could do better, and honestly deserved better than him, was all consuming.  It made focusing on the case incredibly difficult. 

Luke’s gathering his remaining items from the precinct, the jet waiting for him and the rest of the team, when he hears it.  

Luke looks up from the table to see the deputy approaching you.  He’s too far away to hear what he’s saying, but not so far so that he doesn’t see the folded note that he passes you. 

In an instant, Luke’s entire face falls.  He felt like screaming. 

On the jet ride home, Luke sits between Emily and Matt, which was unusual.  Typically, the two of you spent rides home together.  

He was dreading the car ride home from the BAU.  That would be the first time the two of you would be alone since the coffee incident.  He may have been a little dramatic, without meaning to.  Luke didn’t want to be the jealous boyfriend.  Jealousy was unfair and manipulative and gross.  But the idea of another guy buying you coffee, or making you laugh, or giving you his phone number on a folded up piece of paper, made his stomach churn.  The truth was, he didn’t want to lose you. 

But Luke didn’t know how to say that to you without coming across as a total lunatic.  

He’d have to figure it out before landing at the BAU. 

…

You don’t want to cause a scene on the jet.  But the minute you and Luke are alone at the BAU office together, you corner him strategically at his desk. 

“What the hell?” is all you can manage to blurt out.  You’re fuming and on the verge tears, Luke’s silent treatment was just about pushing you to the edge.  You’d spent the past week focused more on why Luke was suddenly so mad at you than you on the actual case.  

There’s a long pause, Luke refusing to meet your gaze. 

“Are you gonna tell me why you’ve been avoiding me all week?”

You’re met by silence.  

“You’re being childish. Are you really not gonna talk to me?”

Finally, Luke turns to you, and says slyly, “That deputy gave you his number, right?  Why don’t you call him?  I’m sure he’d love to talk.”

In an instant, a wave of understanding washes over you.  

“Are you- are you jealous of Henry?” you ask, unable to hide the hint of a smirk spreading across your face.  The idea of Luke being jealous of a deputy from Austin, Texas seemed absolutely ludacris.  It was so far fetched that it seemed perfectly reasonable to cross your arms and laugh at your fuming boyfriend.  

He rolls his eyes.  “No,” he scoffs.  

He knows you don’t believe him. 

There’s a brief pause before he sputters, “Maybe.”

The smirk on your face only grows bigger.  Luke grabs his bag off from his desk before pushing past you, muttering a quick, “So what?” on his way by. 

But you turn around and keep pace with him, looping your arm through his.  You’re pleased when he doesn’t pull away.  

“Baby,” you coo, a playful tone to your voice, you tug at his arm to stop him from walking any further.  “Why didn’t you just tell me?”

Luke turns his body to face you, but his gaze doesn’t quite meet yours. 

“Because jealousy is stupid, and it’s for couples who don’t trust each other, and I trust you.” He pauses and bites his lip before whispering, “You know you could have anyone you wanted.”

You drop the smirk, because you realize Luke was actually bothered by this.  You squeeze his hand gently.  “What are you talking about?”

“Seeing you with that guy, seeing him gawk over you- it just made me realize that you can do so much better than me,”  Luke says quietly, because it’s true. 

You’re shaking your head before he even finished his sentence, because the idea of anyone ever being better than Luke was even more ludicrous than him being jealous in the first place.  

You reach into your pocket and pull out the note the deputy had given you just hours earlier.  Luke watches as you unfold the piece of paper. 

Luke quickly sees that it’s not a phone number. 

“It’s his grandma’s banana bread recipe,” you explain.  “I told him how much you liked banana bread, and that I wanted to make some for you, so he gave it to me..” your voice trails off.  “I talked about you a lot actually- but that’s not unusual.  I always talk about you a lot.”

You watch as the realization that washes over Luke quickly turns into embarrassment.  He fumbles with his words. 

“I-I uh.”

But you spare him.  “I want you, Luke.  And you are exactly what I need, okay?” 

Luke blinks as he watches you take a step closer to him. Your arms wrap around his waist, and you pull him so that you’re flush against his body.  Luke’s own arms wind around you as he looks down at you, his brown eyes glistening. 

“Banana bread, huh?” he muses.

You nod.  “Seems like you have quite the competition.”

He smirks, “Man versus yeast.”

You roll your eyes and plead, "Will you just shut up and kiss me?" 

Luke leans in, pressing his lips to yours, slow and steady, tasting and feeling every crack and every inch of those lips that you haven’t kissed for days. 

[whosscruffylooking]

Instinct Chapter 3-Act Natural (Spencer Reid x Female Reader)

Warnings: Brief confrontation between a male and female. Mentions of a break-in. 

Word Count: 1.6k

A/N: I’m sorry it took me so long to get this out. In other news...I reached 100 followers! A small but deeply appreciated feat. I am celebrating this milestone over the weekend. Check out my pinned post on what I am doing to say thank you to everyone who has enjoyed my writing. 

"Act natural," the bony brainiac mutters to me.

"Given the current circumstances, I think that the most natural response here is to panic...thus I am acting natural," I retort.

"No, they are like predators. They will sense your fear. Act like this is any normal day for you."

"Well, to tell you quite honestly, my days as of recent have been filled with panic, so this is a typical day for me."

"Look, I'm the professional here. So, if you would listen to what I say and do as I tell you!"

"Is Dr. Reid raising his voice?"

"First thing you need to do is stop talking and let me think," he stresses as he rolls his sleeves up.

Enthralled by his sudden burst of authority, I express, "You intrigue me, Dr. Reid." 

-----*Three Hours Earlier*-----

The subtle ticking of the clock gradually crescendos into powerful drumming that reverberates throughout the room. The doorknob rattles and my eyes dart to the entrance as Agent Prentiss steps in, "We have some photos we'd like you to come to look at." Hesitantly, I step around the table and follow behind her into the main office. The men and women of the precinct watch as I wander over to the whiteboard that Dr. Reid is standing in front of.

Littering the board is photos of my brother. As I slowly move to get a closer look, my breathing hitches, my hands instinctually cover my mouth in shock and disbelief. "Y/N, can you confirm that this is your brother?" Spencer approaches me cautiously. I can't seem to bring myself to speak. I nod. "Is there anything you can tell me about these particular photos or dates," he asks, brushing his fingers over specific pictures and scribbles of numbers on the whiteboard.

A realization strikes me as I examine the images more closely, "No. But I do recognize the people in the background." "You do? Can you identify them?" Agent Prentiss advances towards me. I point towards one of the grim figures lurking in the background of my brother's photo, "That's the man who was in my apartment."

"You said you didn't know who your attacker was," Emily says, obviously not trusting my statement.

"I'd know those eyes anywhere."

"HOTCH!" Spencer shouts.

About an hour later, the team is on a call with their technical analyst. The local chief investigator is interrogating me. "Come on, Y/N, don't play stupid with me. You and Jeremy were inseparable. You cannot possibly believe that I would fall for this innocent little act of yours. You are harboring information on a notorious gang in this city!"

"Oh please, Castillo, you've been a cop for as long as I've been alive. The Nomad Boys have been around for just as long. Not once have you put this much effort into catching them. Is this because the big guns are here? You want to seem all tough and in control for them, but once they're gone, you and I both know you will go right back to hiding in your little office, ignoring the concerns of the people of this city," I oppose.

Castillo vehemently lunges forward, "You think that I am the only one putting up some farce, while you pretend to be the naive little sister here whose older brother can do no wrong. I don't buy it for one instant. You may have that little boy band member wannabe wrapped around your finger, but don't believe for one iota of a second that you can dive under my radar. This entire town knows that you are third-generation scum, and I can promise you that this kind of pattern will stop with my reign. Do I make myself clear? Or do I need to repeat myself for emphasis?"

"No need. I ignored you just fine the first time," I swipe at the detective.

He surveys my body language. I cross my arms, perhaps in the way of shielding myself from intimidation or in a manner of faining his lack of influence on me. Castillo opens his mouth to speak, and in a perfect streak of luck, Spencer comes over to save the day.

Nearing us, he speaks, "Y/N, we want to go to your apartment and see if we can't determine what the man in the picture was after. I'd like for you to come with us and give us some insight into whatever we find."

I agree to go and follow him and Agent Morgan to the car.

(Spencer's POV)

Quietness permeates the entire car ride to the apartment. Morgan continuously eyeballs me, and finally, my nerves get the best of me, "Would you stop that!?" Derek wryly grins and then glances into the rearview mirror to look at the Y/N in the back, "You know, kid, growing up, I ran with the wrong crowd by association too."  

She scans her eyes over the both of us, and her stare lands on me. Once again, her pleading eyes permeate my thoughts, clouding my reasoning. There is no place for her among the faction that we are investigating. If she is involved with them, it's against her better judgment...or even her will.

"By association?" Her nostrils flare, "My brother and I didn't--wouldn't run with the Nomad Gangs. Our father was ki-" Her voice tapers off as she pulls at the fraying cuffs of her jeans.

That can't be right. I've scoured her family's files, and the only information divulged about her father's death is that he was killed in a car accident in 2000.

"A member of the Nomad Boys killed your father, didn't he?" Morgan questions.

Looking back at her, I watch her slump against the seat and her eyes dull. The silence infiltrates the air once again. As the car arrives outside of her apartment, I internally thank the heavens for a break from the awkwardness. Motioning to my counterparts, we gather outside of the vehicle and trek into the residence building.

"I've lived here for five years now. I moved shortly after my brother died. My parents had an apartment in this building when they were newlyweds. The stories they shared with me about this place stuck with me, so when I was finally out on my own, this was the place I gravitated towards," the young woman says timidly, pulling the cuffs of her sleeves over her fists.

As we near the door to her apartment, she picks at her cuticles apprehensively. Her eyes concentrate keenly on Derek's movements as he inserts the key into the lock. The door creaks open, and we are met with a home left in shambles.

"Reid," Morgan turns around, "we did not leave this place looking like this."  

Stiffening up at the unsettling sight, I say, "They left the first time empty-handed. But, Y/N wasn't the only target. So, they came back to salvage what they could acquire. The question is, what was it?"

"And did they find it," Morgan adds.

Worried, I look back to see Y/N wide-eyed and trembling. I hurry to her side and brush my hands over her shoulders, "This is unsettling, I know. Take a moment if you need to, but we will require you to look over everything here and see if anything is missing or seems out of place. See if you can piece together what it is they were looking for."  

Raking her hands through her hair, she starts scouring every last inch of her apartment, picking up papers, knick-knacks, tearing apart whatever is left to ravage.

"We got a problem," Derek announces, peeking his head out of the front doorway, "Two unknowns headed right this way. Reid, can you identify them?"

I station myself next to him, cautiously leaning into the hallway, and I catch sight of them.

"She needs more time," I grab his arm. He nods, "I'll try and buy you some time."

Stumbling back into the home, I hurry over to the driven girl. "Two of the men seen following your brother are headed this way. I need you to keep looking just...faster. Once we run out of time, we need to get out of here without them recognizing you. Do you have some sort of hat or glasses you could wear out?"

She stiffens up as if frozen in place.

Nice going Spence, you've terrified her.

Attempting to remedy the situation, I do the one thing I can always fall back on, I rambling.

"Y-you knows, the fear response takes place in a section of the brain known as the amygdala, located in the temporal lobe or...in--in other words, the supercomputer part of your brain. It causes us to revert to the primitive senses of our minds. We often call this the fight or flight response. It manifests itself in a shortage of self-control and rash decision-making."

(Reader's POV)

I draw in a long breath, listening intently to his tsunami of words. At last, he stops to compose himself.

This man would kill on Broadway.

"So what you're saying is?" I probe.

"Act natural," the bony brainiac mutters to me.

"Given the current circumstances, I think that the most natural response here is to panic...thus I am acting natural," I retort.

"No, they are like predators. They will sense your fear. Act like this is any normal day for you."

"Well, to tell you quite honestly, my days as of recent have been filled with panic, so this is a typical day for me."

"Look, I'm the professional here. So, if you would listen to what I say and do as I tell you!"

"Is Dr. Reid raising his voice?"

"First thing you need to do is stop talking and let me think," he stresses as he rolls his sleeves up.

Enthralled by his sudden burst of authority, I express, "You intrigue me, Dr. Reid." He stills momentarily as if he's translating my statement from some foreign language.

Motioning to my closet, I suggest, "Take a look in there and see if you find anything that could work."

______________________________________

Tag list:

@chellybear98 @destiny-tsukino @wanniiieeee @sweetiecake180  @vampiracontessa @weexinling @spaghetti-dad187 @hothskies @star-stuff-in-the-cosmos @mac99martin @mcntsee @ssagube @yougottalovefandoms @halloweenwithreid @pancake2603 @theoldestguard @chazubagi​ @frogrrylovebot @weasleytwinsimpp @obsssedwithjustaboutanything @kenzies-mr-j

[liberty-barnes]

Letters To A Stranger

Peter Parker x Female!Reader

Summary: The story of a girl who loved a boy, but couldn't talk, so she wrote.

Warnings: fluff for a bit, but then massive angst, and i mean massive, STOP READING HERE IF YOU DON'T WANT ANY SPOILERS BUT I WOULDN'T FEEL OKAY WITHOUT LISTING ALL THE ANGST FACTORS 

(mentions of ED, mentions of self-harm, implied character death, mentions of social anxiety)

Word Count: 1.3k words

Estimated Reading Time: 5 minutes

A/N: did you miss me?

Masterlist 

February 21st, 2024

Dear Cute Boy On The Subway, 

Are you new? Or was I simply too oblivious to your presence until now? I've never seen you before, you're really pretty.

 I don't think I've ever used the word "pretty" to describe a man before. Well, boy, but my point stands.

But you really are. With your caramel eyes, and artistically tousled hair. You're cute. Kind of like a puppy. Not that I'm attracted to dogs, of course, but there's really no better way to describe you. Your face lights up when you talk on the phone, like an excited golden retriever who'd just been told he was going for a walk. I wonder who you're talking to. Is it your partner? Please, say you're single.

You get off after me apparently, so I guess I'll just keep my pining to my letters and hope to see you again tomorrow.

Kinda wishing I was yours,

Your secret admirer.

February 22nd, 2024

Dear Cute Boy On The Subway, 

You're back! Is this a simple coincidence or are you a regular? 

From the backpack on your shoulder, I'd say maybe you're a student. I don't go to school. You make me wish I did if only to see your face every day for more than the short ten minutes of our joint ride.

I wonder how old you are. You look old enough to be in high school, but which year are you? I know I'm only nineteen, but I'd feel a little bummed about crushing on a fourteen-year-old.

You're smiling again today. I'm glad. I don't see a lot of smiles at the diner. Mostly glares, impatient huffs, and tired, distant expressions. It's a nice change.

I have to go now but thank you for making my day.

Hoping to see you again tomorrow, 

Your secret admirer.

February 23rd, 2024

Dear Cute Boy On The Subway, 

I'm starting to think that smile is permanent. It's the third day in a row that I've gotten on the train and was immediately greeted with your beaming smile as you watched some video on your phone. It made me smile too.

Your sweatshirt's pretty. It says "Midtown Tech" on it. Is that a school? Is it your school? 

I may have to do some digging later.

Please don't think I'm a stalker.

Your totally not-stalker secret admirer.

March 1st, 2024

Dear Cute Boy On The Subway, 

I was late this morning so I didn't get to see you. My boss was not happy about it, I felt like I was walking on very thin ice.

And then this guy grabbed my ass while I was taking his order. I acted on instinct, tried to remember everything they taught me at my self-defense class. I ended up accidentally punching him in the face. 

So yeah, I lost my job today. Which is why I'm here so early. I might stay on the subway just to see which stop you get off on. 

Yeah, maybe not, that'd be weird and I should start job hunting as soon as possible.

Thank you for making me smile on a bad day.

Thank you for being you,

Your secret admirer.

March 17th, 2024

Dear Cute Boy On The Subway, 

I got a new job! I'm working at this coffee shop/bookstore and it's honestly the greatest thing in the world. I get to be around books AND get free hot chocolate, how much better can life be?

You looked a little down today, I wonder if you're okay? Is everything well at home? Maybe school's the problem? Maybe you got a bad grade, but you look really smart so I don't know.

I hope you're feeling better tomorrow,

Your secret admirer.

March 19th, 2024

Dear Cute Boy On The Subway, 

I wish I knew your name, that way I'd know who to address this to. But I guess Cute Boy On The Subway will have to do. 

You were smiling again today, that's nice. I haven't seen you smile in a while, I was starting to get worried. The sweater you were wearing looked a little too big to be yours, the collar slipped down a little when you moved. It looks like there's a massive bruise on your upper chest. Does it hurt? Are you okay?

I wish I was brave enough to ask you in person.

Get better soon, 

Your secret admirer.

March 25th, 2024

Dear Cute Boy On The Subway, 

You're back to not smiling today. I don't like to see you frown. Not at all. I want you to tell me what's wrong. I want to help you get better, see you smile again.

I want to talk to you.

I'll do it tomorrow, 

Your secret admirer.

March 26th, 2024

Dear Cute Boy On The Subway, 

You were sad again today. But that's okay, cause I said I'd talk to you. 

Except I didn't.

My stomach started doing uncomfortable flips and I had to get off the train earlier than usual so I could throw up. It was not fun. 

Maybe I just have the flu?

Hopefully, I'll be better tomorrow,

Your secret admirer.

March 30th, 2024

Dear Cute Boy On The Subway, 

I've tried talking to you for three days, every time I had to get off and empty my stomach's content. I started to see a pattern so after a half week of that vicious cycle, I went to see my doctor.

Turns out I have social anxiety tendencies and you simply trigger them a bit. So, basically, my body won't let me talk to you.

I'm a little sad but also kind of relieved. At least I know I'm not voluntarily letting you slip through my fingers.

Not that I ever plan on doing that, you've become too important.

I hope you smile tomorrow,

Your secret admirer.

April 7th, 2024

Dear Cute Boy On The Subway, 

I'm worried about you. Your sleeve rose a little when you held onto the pole. There are scars there, familiar ones, ones that I recognize as scars left by one's own hand. Physical marks of a person's suffering.

Why are you doing that? It hurts to know that you feel down enough to resort to that. I want to help, but I can't bring myself to talk to you.

Please stop this,

Your secret admirer.

April 12th, 2024

Dear Cute Boy On The Subway, 

Your eyes were red today. You've been crying. There are dark circles under your eyes, how long has it been since you've last slept?

A lady asked you if you were alright. You said you were just a little tired. I've never heard a more obvious lie.

I wish I could talk to you,

Your secret admirer.

April 16th, 2024

Dear Cute Boy On The Subway, 

The dark circles haven't gone away, if anything they've gotten darker. But now there's a bruise on your cheek. You seem to be getting thinner too.

What's going on?

Your secret admirer.

April 28th, 2024

Dear Cute Boy On The Subway, 

How much weight have you lost? Your cheekbones are more prominent, and your arms are getting thinner by the second. Why don't you eat? 

The bruises are more frequent now. Cheek, eyebrow, lip... 

Who's hitting you?

Who's making you suffer?

Your secret admirer.

May 6th, 2024

Dear Cute Boy On The Subway, 

I haven't seen you in a few days. I wonder where you are.

Are you okay?

I'm sorry, that's a stupid question, you probably aren't.

I've decided that next time I see you I'm gonna talk to you. Ask you what's wrong. Force you to tell me if that's what it takes.

I hope you're safe.

Your secret admirer.

May 27th, 2024

Dear Peter Parker, 

I'm sorry I wasn't brave enough to talk to you when I had the chance.

I hope you're in a better place now.

I'm sorry you were alone when you did it.

I'm sorry you had to do it.

With love,

(Y/n).

yes, i'm one of those authors that post something an then disappears for two months, i'm sorry. i've been super busy with school and i haven't really had the motivation to write lately but i got this idea and i just needed to get it out.

also, i may be getting a new computer in like 1 or 2 weeks, so that's cool! it'll be better to write and stuff cause this one's getting kinda slow and sometimes it's hard to post stuff cause it won't load lmao.

anyway, i hope you liked it and if you did don’t forget to reblog/comment/like

love you all!

-Miah

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────» 

Taglists: (if your name is striked through it means for some reason tumblr wouldn’t let me tag you) 

PERMA TAG 

@jeezkiddo​ @officiallyunofficialperson​  @beananacake​ @theunderlier @harrysleftchelseaboot​ @averyfosterthoughts​ @onebigolemess​ @samoney69​ @agirlwithpointlessideas​ @ddaawwssoonn​ @inhumanwithpowers​ @imagineshere-forall​ @stiles-banshees​ @orowit​ @spideynut​ @deathofmissjackson​ @parkersbliss​ @ephemeral-limerences​ @write-from-the-heart​ @cardboard-ben​ @my-alignment-is-bisexual @mendes-marvel​ @timotayswriter​ @inthecornerchair​ @lovelynerdytraveler​ @niallssweetheart22​ @incorrect-things​ @lost-in-the-stars03​ @harishaanne​ @ellamw04 @bisexual-disappointment​ @onelovesr​ @ellyseveronica​ @sovereignparker​ @notsosmexy​ @theamazingtomholland​ @lozzypoz321​ @peterspideyy​

PETER PARKER TAG 

@dreaming-lia @markleehee​ @juliebean247​ @quechulitaaa​ @bubblegumbarnes​ @sofiaconlaz​ @bellaaa321-blog​ @parkerpetertingle​ @emily-louise-hynes @clara-licht​ @ekelly2015​ @inlovewithmobtom​ @quaksonhehe​ @danicarosaline​ @tutuabby28​ @sovereignparker​ @spn67-sister​ @t-monosapiens-h @kayleypaige2233​ @galaxystern08​ @highlydisfunctional1​ @jillanaholland​ @zeusmyster​ @sirtommyholland​ @a-singleboat​ @allthisfortommy​ @middevil456 @kdotcxz​ @drishtisikarwar 

MARVEL TAG 

@dreaming-lia @emily-louise-hynes @arts-ismything​ @peachyafshawn​ @cathwritestragediesnotsins​ @spn67-sister​ @t-monosapiens-h @galaxystern08​ @highlydisfunctional1​ @jillanaholland​ @hyluas @ravenagrimes @captainbuckyy​ @kaylig02​ @crazyassbitch-things-blog @sharenaloveyouX @tacobacoyeet​ @andycanbeemotional​ @angelicromanoff 

[fanfics-for-you]

Jinxed // Spencer Reid x Reader

Gender Neutral!! (Spencer Reid is a bi icon and you can't tell me other wise.)

In which the Reader just wants to talk about their feelings to some of their best friends, who they think will give them the best advice. But, they can't seem to get a word out without a certain Doctor interrupting.

//||□○□||\\

It was a really long case, and honestly you'd never been more tired in your life. But, Garcia had plead that you visit her and update all about your "adventure" with the team.

See, you actually tended to stay at the BAU headquarters with her but with your odd ease with children -and knowledge about early psychology-, Hotch had you tag along.

You ended up getting the last detail needed to find the perp, and you were very proud of yourself. Other than that though, you had spent almost all your time with Reid.

Hotch, although he asked you to attend, wouldn't let you anywhere near the field because of the lack of experience. This meant you were at the local police station, as you said helping Reid with linking locations and finding out more from the Encyclopedia that is his brain.

You worked together well, which was both good and bad, depending on if factored in the raging feelings for the Doctor. It was never said out loud though, you didn't want to have the chance of the smart man listening in.

You needed to tell someone.

"Y/N!" Garcia chirped, as you waltzed out of the elevator, your body aching for sleep.

"Hey, Garcia," you muttered, trying to focus on each step in front of you, and also not be rude to your peppy pal.

"C'mon, honey-" she ushered you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders as you simply followed, oddly entranced by her sweet perfume, "-I'll get you some snacks. Mama Garcia's here."

You chuckled lightly, but found yourself humming, "I could marry you Garcia!"

"Oh, you wish, my darling-" she opened the door to her techie room, and she sat you in a chair, "-but I'm too good for you."

"'Course you are," you smiled, crossing your legs in the rolly chair, "-anyway, what's on the menu, G?"

She spun around in her chair, clicking her pen, "Ah, ah, ah. You spill, and you get some banana bread I made yesterday, for reasons you don't have to know."

You groaned, rubbing your temples, "What do you want to know?"

She scooted close to you, "I already know everything about the case, but I want to know the juicy stuff. Like, maybe... the fact that you were with Reid every time he called me? That's interesting, don't you think?"

You rolled your eyes, a small smile echoing on your features, "Hotch didn't want me on the field, and Reid was just there too, why is that important?"

Garcia raised her eyebrows, "You know why that's important, don't try to fool me."

You rolled your eyes, hiding the growing smile on your face, as you spun in your chair to tame your laughter.

Garcia held the chair, forcing you to stay still as she spoke, "So? What happened?"

You smiled, throwing your hands up, "Fine, you got me. I think I'm in love w-"

Garcia interrupted, eyes wide and jumping up from her chair, "Shh!"

She was focused behind you, at the door, and you felt your stomach drop at the idea that he stood there-

"You're in love, Y/N?"

You cursed under your breath, and spun around to lock eyes with the familiar brown eyes.

"Reid! Hey, what- what are you doing here?"

You tried to act as normally as possible, which was a bit hard because what if he heard the whole conversation? What if he was repulsed? This would not end well-

"I-" Spencer paused, holding up two takeout bags, "-I got you some dinner, you hadn't eaten during the investigation so... I thought I'd get you something."

You smiled, standing to retrieve the food with a curious eye, "Is this...?"

"Your favorite," Spencer hummed, "-I hope so. I know you get it more frequently than your sandwiches, or salads from anywhere else. So, I assumed-"

"Thank you, Spence," you hummed, taking it from his hands with a careful smile.

The silence lasted for a breath longer than it should have, as you waited for Spencer to say anything that could mean good news. It was getting more awkward by the second-

"And," Garcia jumped up, rushing beside you in a split second, "-you don't get to know a thing about what we were referring to, Mr. Smartypants. That's patient-doctor confidentially."

Spencer scrunched his eyebrows, turning to Garcia with his eyes, "...but you're not a... doctor?"

"It's a metaphor Spence," you shook your head, hard-eyeing Garcia to the side, "-she's just saying the secret is an unspoken one."

"But-" he paused, doing that scrunch thing with his nose -like he always does when he's confused-, "-that's an actual medical practice... It's unusual to ever be used as a-"

"Reid!" Penelope groaned, "Y/N is the only person in the BAU, who trusts me with their secrets, you're not ruining that for me."

"Wait, what do you mean only one? Why-"

Spencer nodded, a shine in his eye, "Well, that's kind of a given. You statistically slip-up with secrets about... 68% more than any other BAU member."

You raised a brow, "Where are you getting those statistics?"

Spencer cleared his throat, a light flush brushing onto his cheeks, "I do my research, and just because I sit at my desk and read most of the time, doesn't mean I don't hear things, really."

You and Garcia raised your eyebrows a bit in surprise, as the boy wonder seemed to play a mastermind villain. That was new.

"So," Garcia spoke, "-what I'm hearing is that you know all about the juicy gossip in the office? Reid, why don't you tell me? It's always the one they least expect-"

"Your research?" you spoke, branching off on a completely different conversational topic, "Reid, who do you think is the safest to confide in? Scientifically, of course."

Reid paused, watching you for a second, "Well, Hotch is definitely up there, but his empathetic skills are kind of lacking. Garcia is the opposite, she has the empathetic view, but also, can't stay quiet about it for long."

Penelope rolled her eyes, "No, need to profile me, you sweet, sweet nerd."

Reid continued, placing his take out in his satchel and moving his hands to visualize it -you guessed, "Emily is a good bet, but once she's drunk, it'd be safe to assume the secret is compromised. Derek is also a good bet, but... um, I'd imagine he'd be pushy and teasing."

There was something different about that one, as he stuttered it out in a bit of frustration. He'd definitely told Morgan something and recieved the bad end of the deal.

You looked up to Garcia, and she read your eyes with a look of agreement. Pulling out her phone and wandering back, she mouthed 'On it!' as her fingers went typing away.

"JJ, well," Reid continued, unmoved by the fact that Garcia had left their conversation, "-she's probably up there as well, but if push comes to shove, she'd definitely just... motherhen you until you shared it. I would be a plenty good candidate, I don't think I've ever shared a secret within the BAU-"

"But-" you interrupted him, your eyebrows furrowed, "-you have a tell, Spence."

Spencer pursed his lips, eyes darting slightly, "I do?"

"Uh, yeah-" you muttered, falling back into the extra chair Garcia had pulled for you, "-your face is full of tells. When it's a happy secret, like... Rossi's surprise birthday party! You have to hold back a smile constantly. A secret that's got you genuinely worried about someone? You glance to them like every five minutes, and your eyebrows furrow way more than normal. A sad secret? Your eyes are just like a sad puppy's, and you allow more physical touch."

"I-" Reid opened his mouth, but you continued, not even noticing the wide flush spread across his cheeks and tips of his ears.

"When it's a really big secret? That's when nervous or odd Reid comes out. You either dart your eyes/can't make eye contact, and you clasp your hands a lot. I assume, to stroke your palm, as a sense of comfort. Or you undereact to everything surrounding that secret, which just causes more suspicion, by the way-"

You finally looked up to Spencer, who was -at this moment- looking like he was about to implode. His face was bright red, and you thought it was really cute but also, you felt terrible for putting him through that.

You stopped, pausing, "Oh God, I'm so sorry, Spence. I didn't mean to offend you-"

"What?" Spencer blinked, his eyes no longer glazed over, "-Oh! No, that was... fascinating really! You don't even necessarily have to stop, if you don't want to. Not that I like it, or anything. NoT THAT I don't like it either, it's just-"

At this point, you'd fallen victim to your own blush, as Spencer rambled over something that did seem that big but he was getting redder by the minute-

You enjoyed this a bit too much, actually.

To be your saviour once again, Garcia screamed as high-pitched as she could.

At such a noise, you almost fell out of your chair, you got up so fast, "G? Everything okay?"

Garcia looked up, "Uh, yeah. Totally, definitely. It's just ya know- a spider, yeah."

You raised an eyebrow, as Reid -who now stood beside you- spoke in a questioning tone, "On your phone?"

She bit her lip, throwing her eyes between you and Spencer, "Yeah, uh totally nothing to do with you guys. Derek sent it to me as a prank, and it doesn't have a single bit to do with the two agents right in front of me, right now."

You furrowed your eyebrows, "Are you sure everything's alright?"

Garcia spun to her computer, "Oh, of course! Why wouldn't everything be alright? It's uh- Nothing's wrong, and nothing's going on. I don't know anything about the secret romance that may or may not be going on in the office. Nope, not me."

You glanced at Reid, who although he had a few of the tells you spoke of earlier, shrugged his shoulders.

"Um," he spoke, confused, "-Penelope, what are you talking about?"

She was basically sawing down on her lip now, as she opened her mouth and then shut it again, and finally closed her eyes, "OUT! Both of you out, I... I can't handle this monumental information with you both standing right in front of me. So, scram!"

You opened your mouth, "What? You wanted me in here, Penn. I don't und-"

Garcia grabbed your shoulders, "If you love me, take the beanstalk boy, and exit this room."

"But, I-"

"Please."

You sighed, picking up Spencer's take out, and grabbing his satchel's strap with unhesitant ease, "Come on, Spence. We gotta go."

"O-Okay," Spencer noted, following close behind you without hesitation, you two just trusted each other. It didn't take much.

You pulled him out into the BAU hub, and finally let go of him, spinning around to talk about that odd experience.

"So, Spence-" you grabbed, a rolly chair from a random desk and sat in it, placing your food in your lap, "-what do you think that was all about?"

"Probably a secret," Reid blurted, he'd seemed a little off as he said that, doing the same as you and pulling a chair to sit.

"Oh," you pursed your lips, digging in your bag and pulling out the container, "-who do you think it's about?"

Spencer looked at you, a bit baffled, like he'd expected you to pick up on something, but you hadn't.

He shook his head, tossing his wonderous hair as he did so, "Could be anyone, I guess."

He fidgeted with his food, picking his fork into the dish and quietly muttering something you couldn't quite hear.

"Spence?" you hummed, as he looked up to you, "-everything okay with you?"

Spencer paused, blinking, "Huh? Oh, yeah. I'm fine. Just tired, actually."

You frowned, "Man, is there something on my face? God, everyone has been weird around me today."

Spencer perked up, "What do you mean?"

"Ever since the big break," you spoke, a little worried, "-everyone's been looking at me weird. Like they know something I don't."

"Oh," Spencer echoed, watching your face fall slightly, "-well, actually. There was an... officer in the Chicago Department. He had a crush on you, and was really obvious about it. The team thought it was funny you didn't notice."

You raised your eyebrows, as Spencer didn't make eye contact and a quiet blush swept across his cheeks, "Really? Wow. I'm not surprised, I... uh, never pick up on those cues."

"Was there-" Spencer added with a slightly hardened tone, "-Was there any cop there you were hoping it'd be? You don't have to answer, I'm honestly just curious-"

"No, uh-" your eyes flashed up to him, "-not there. All of those guys were... weird."

He laughed, eyes lightening up a bit, "So, you're picky, huh?"

You smiled, "Maybe so, Reid, maybe so."

|//□◇□\\|

It was early morning and you were to stay at the BAU for a case, as usual. However, this time Rossi was staying too.

Something about getting his book finished and to the publisher on time, he'd avoided the plane ride and now, sat with you gazing over the large table with case files spread hastily across it.

It was a gruesome case, one where Garcia practically gagged just presenting it to the team. You honestly couldn't think about the specifics, without doing the same.

"So, Rossi-" you spoke, eyes skimming over a victim's file, "-what do you think the symbol branded on t-"

Rossi didn't look up, as he spoke, "When are you going to tell him?"

You raised your eyes, splitting a confused smile on your lips, "I'm sorry, what?"

"Reid," he clarified, his eyes steadied on the pictures scattered across the table.

You stuttered, your face a tinge of red, "I have no clue what you're talking about."

Rossi added, finally looking up, "You know the poor boy doesn't have the guts, Y/N. You're kind of hard to read as well, so you're probably going to have to make the first move."

"I-" you muttered, low and under your breath, "I don't know how."

"For him? It's simple," Rossi addressed, his hands up as if he was selling a new invention to you, "-you just have to be honest and straightforward, little one. Tell him that-"

A voice spoke up, "Tell who what?"

Rossi stopped, his eyes darting to the new figure in the room, "I thought you got on the plane, boy wonder?"

"Yeah, Spence," you spoke, raising a brow and trying to cool your cheeks, "-what's up?"

"I uh, forgot my passport at home," he hummed, his eyes anywhere but on yours or Rossi's.

You scrunched your eyebrows at Rossi, who just like you had the same idea. There was no way that was the truth.

Rossi cleared his throat, "Uh, Y/N, we'll continue our conversation elsewhere. And Reid-"

Spencer looked up at him, with his head tilted like a little puppy. He was insanely cute, you honestly don't know how he worked himself into the FBI with how much he'd seemed so... innocent, really.

Rossi continued, "We'll talk about this later, capiche?"

Spencer nodded, eyes caught up in the evidence scattered amongst the table, "Yes, sir."

||//■○■\\||

"Yeah, and then, the guy came up to me and said-" Emily narrated, each member on the edge of their seat, as she'd told her -one and only- blind date story.

"Y/N?" Hotch spoke, tapping the doorframe of his office, signaling you to come in.

Tapping Penelope's leg, you made her promise to tell you the rest of the story, if you missed it, and waltzed right up the stairs to his office.

"Hey," you smiled, a dash of concerned, "-what's going on, sir? Is everything alright?"

"I needed to run something by you," he spoke, intelligent and in no way was his voice odd so that you could dissect it, "-please, sit."

You nodded, immediately taking you're place in the seat across from his desk, "Of course! What am I looking at?"

Hotch spoke, as he carefully moved to take a file out of his desk drawer, "As one of our press/legal employees, there's been an edit to a section of our contract, and I wanted you to be one of the ones who ensures everything is correct within the document."

"Oh, it's my pleasure, sir-" you hummed, taking the file out of his hand, "-am I taking this home? Or?"

"No," his eyes flashed to the door, "-it's a pretty small edit, just read it over and let me know. You can preferably sit in here and read it."

"Oh, okay," you hummed, a little confused, but your eyes settled on the document.

'Inner Office Relationships:

Now, available if properly addressed to the supervisory agent of both parties.'

"Um, Hotch," you mumbled, eyes scanning across the full-fledged page, as only one difference stuck out to you, "-is this about...?"

"Office relationships? Yes," he confirmed, eyes lingering on you -with a slight pass to the door, "-so...?"

"So, what, sir?" you questioned, flipping the file open and closed as the awkwardness in the room peaked.

"You and Dr. Reid," he spoke, eyes telling all, "-it's been adjusted for the betterment of the BAU, specifically you two."

"I-" you blinked, unsure of what to say as you'd never seen Hotch this way.

"Listen, Y/N, just-" he paused, careful and concise, "-if it happens, please inform me for the sake of th-"

"Sir?" Reid waltzed in, a file filled with papers in his arms as his eyes stayed trained on them, "I've skimmed these documents, and the only difference I can really see between the two, is that office relationships are allowed, as long as you inform your su-"

His eyes moved up from the papers, and upon landing on you, he tripped and the file came crashing down. All the papers fluttering in the air, as he simply muttered, "Oh."

"I-I, uh, apologize, sir-" he scrambled, his ears burning a bright red, as you leaned down and picked up some of the papers with him, "-I didn't realize, you'd had company in here. I'm sorry for interrupting."

"Reid," Hotch smiled at him, "-it's fine, Y/N here, was reviewing the same document as well."

"Oh," Reid said again, ultimately trying to hide into himself, as he ashamedly picked up the fallen papers.

You paused, holding the stack you'd gathered, "Uh, actually, sir. I'm just curious, but why was that change made to the document? Do you know?"

"Actually," Hotch glanced at the other Agent in the room, "-someone sent in a request to change the document."

You raised an eyebrow, tilting your head slightly, "Oh, do you have any idea who did that?"

Reid, who had been bent slightly under the table, shot up and rammed his head into a smaller table by a couch that lined the wall.

"Ouch..." he muttered, cradling his head with hand and you immediately jumped up, concern brimming under your fingertips.

"Jeez, Spence!" you stood on your tippy-toes to get a good look, "-I don't think you're bleeding, but we'll have to get you some ice for that, just to be safe."

"Yeah," Spencer laughed nervously, his voice strained as he side-eyed Hotch, "-we should obviously go that. We can't stay in here."

In a few short minutes, Spencer was ushering you out and as you stepped out, you watched all your coworkers unabashedly act like they were not watching the whole time.

You groaned, briskly grabbing Spencer's hand, and dashing on by the the break room. You'd rather not hear anything any of them have to say at this moment, unless it was Emily's story. That was all you'd wanted to hear-

"Uh, Y/N?"

You blinked, as Reid motioned to his head, and with a swift glance to your connected hands, you blushed, "Oh, sorry, Spence. Got distracted."

He laughed, as you carefully slipped your hand out of his and scurried to get a bag, some ice, and some paper towels. Or maybe just find an ice pack in the fridge?

"So," you addressed, as you skimmed the freezer for an ice pack, "-what was that about?"

"What?" Spencer asked, until his mind clicked and he added, "Oh, I just... I don't know, I got a bit nervous, er- surprised."

You smiled into the fridge, -finding an ice pack buried under some peas, or something, you weren't sure-, "It was you who requested the change, wasn't it?"

"No," Spencer squeaked, and you could only imagine the tips of his ears getting redder.

"You can't lie to me Spence," you hummed pulling off a few paper towels, and wrapping the around the ice pack, "-remember?"

"Anyway," you continued, walking towards him, "-I don't blame you, there are some very attractive people in this BAU. I'm just curious which one you're trying to sweep off their feet Doctor Reid?"

"It's-" Reid stuttered out, gently taking the ice pack from you hands, "It's not like that."

"My money's on JJ," you spoke with a tongue of hurt in your tone, as you locked eyes with those familiar brown ones.

"What?! No," Spencer practically yelled, "-she's married!"

You shrugged, "Doesn't stop most guys."

"Pfft," he chuckled, throwing up his freehand, "-you don't think I'm one of those guys, do you? I mean, look at me!"

He motioned down to his sweater vest and perfectly placed tie, and somewhere in your head you had to disagree.

You smirked, getting up and exited the room with a shake of laughter, "It's always the ones you don't expect, Reid, it's always the ones you don't expect."

||//◇●◇\\||

It was the team's night out, everyone was at a dimly lit, crowded karaoke bar. Although, you didn't quite prefer crowds, you wouldn't have it any other way.

Derek and Garcia were out dancing on the floor, Hotch and JJ were at home with their respective families, Rossi went home early, Reid was never one to attend these outings, and you and Prentiss sat in a booth, tired but still wanting to drink.

She sipped on her small glass, eyes locked on you with a glance you'd grown familiar to.

You smiled, a bit of a confused one as always, "What, Em?"

Prentiss raised her eyebrows, "So, I heard about the Reid thing."

You rolled your eyes, "What Reid thing?"

"Don't," Emily tipped her drink to you, with a teasing grin, "-I'm a profiler, Y/N, don't underestimate me."

You raised a brow, knowing there was no possible way that Reid would end up here, you were safe, "Fine, what do you want to know?"

"Well," Emily looked out into the crowd, and then back at you, "-why haven't you asked him out?"

"It's-" you paused, gnawing on your lip, "-complicated, Prentiss."

She opened her mouth, looking back at you, when it suddenly turned into a gasp. And you didn't even have to look back to know what was going on.

"What's complicated?"

Emily's eyes widened, "Woah, Reid! You never come to the karaoke nights with us, I'm- I'm so glad you came!"

He scoffed, obviously lying, "I go to tons of parties with you guys. All the time."

"Yeah, no, Spencer-" Emily added swirling her drink around, as she eyed the book in his hand and bottle of water, "-you don't."

You furrowed your brows, Spencer had frequented quite a few of them -in your presence at least, wait. Had he only showed up when you did?

Emily practically read your mind, as Spencer sat just beside you, "You only show up when Y/N says they're going to be there, hotshot. And I could probably get proof of that."

"I-" Spencer paused, clearing his throat, "-I don't know what you're talking about."

"Sure, you don't," Emily hummed, as she stood, "-I saw a hot girl on the dancefloor, I'm going to go talk to her, lovebirds. Talk to you later!"

You shook your head, laughing, "How wasted do you think she's going to get tonight?"

Spencer paused, "Usually, I'd say 9 times out of 10, she ends up puking on the floor, or leaving with someone else."

"So, maybe the chances are in her favor with that girl, huh?" you smiled at him, for just a second and peered over the glass.

He grinned right back, a glint in his eye that you hadn't recognized, "Yeah... Maybe, just maybe he does."

You hadn't thought much of the pronoun change with the loud, boisterous music, and with your heart fluttering at the wide grin -that was just utterly contagious-, let's just say you were... a little distracted anyway.

//||♡◇♡||\\

It was the obligated BAU dinner night at Rossi's, he was talking about some sort of pasta. You could tell it looked kinda like lasagna, but you wouldn't dare say that to the older man's face.

He'd probably have you kicked out, if you did.

You wouldn't blame him, either.

"Y/N!" Rossi exclaimed, his face a wide smile, "I can trust you to know what oregano is, right?"

"Uh," you paused, trying to take a minute to think, "-yes? I think."

"Good," Rossi hummed, "-take Morgan, and go pick up some from the Deli's down the street."

You chucked, catching the keys thrown your way, "Yes, sir! But I better get the first piece of that bread, mister."

Rossi winked at you, "If you come back with oregano? Consider it done."

With a pep in your step, you waltzed to the living room where a few familiar faces sat. Derek was there, his arm slung around Penelope, and Reid was bent over in laughter.

You blinked, refocusing on the task at hand -you could stare at Reid later, "Hey, Derek?"

All three people looked up with distant smiles, Reid's eyes twinkled like they always did, as Morgan answered, "What's up, my sunshine?"

You laughed, "Rossi has assigned us to pick up some oregano, you coming?"

"Always with you," Morgan grinned, his bright, teasing grin that you'd grown familiar with.

"Alright," you rolled your eyes, "-let's go then, mister. I'm sure Reid can occupy Penelope, no?"

Reid blinked, like he was knocked out of his trace, "What?"

Derek laughed, smacking the tall man on the back, "You heard them, Reid. Keep my girl satisfied, pretty boy."

With a laugh, he pulled an arm over your shoulders and smiled, "Our chariot awaits."

You nodded, and followed Morgan out the door, you'd had about 30 minutes until the store closed anyway.

The car ride was silent, as Morgan pulled into the driverseat, his driving would get you there faster and neither of you wanted to miss such a meal.

"So," Derek hummed, hands trained on the wheel, "-do you-"

"I swear to God, if this is about Reid-" you threw your hands up, rubbing your eyes.

"What?" Derek raised his brows, "What about Reid? I was just going to ask if you'd decided on a pet to adopt, sunshine."

"Oh," you paused, a bit surprised.

"What's-" Derek grinned, his eyes obnoxiously shining, "What's going on with Reid?"

"Well, uh-" you rubbed your hands together, "-basically everyone in the BAU has tried to 'confront' me about him."

"Oh," Derek hummed, "-is it about you two being lovebirds? And that pretty boy has no way of being the one to make the first move."

You sighed, "Not you too."

Derek shrugged, "What? You guys are obviously just dancing around each other, and we're a team of profilers. It's not hard to see you two."

You pursed your lips, "If so, why can't Reid read me?"

Derek mumbled, "What do you mean?"

"If it's so obvious," you hummed, quieter than necessary, "-then why doesn't he do anything about it?"

"That's a question for Reid, sunshine," Derek hummed, "-but we all know he's not particularly good at social cues."

"So?" you hummed tapping your inner leg, "I'm surprised we haven't been interrupted yet, actually."

Derek furrowed his eyebrows, "What?"

You chuckled, shaking your head, "Uh, everytime I talk about my feelings, Reid always pops into the conversation before I can even speak."

Derek scoffed, "How many times have you tr-"

He was interrupted by his phone buzzing, and a familiar name shining onto his screen. His eyes widened, as you sighed. It happened yet again.

"Speak of the devil," Derek gasped, with a small smile and clicking on the call, "Hey, pretty boy. You're on speaker."

"Oh, hey!" Reid was scatterbrained, his words quick like when he was nervous, "Rossi wanted me to go with you guys, I was told to call you before it was too late."

"Not that I don't enjoy your company, Reid-" you spoke, carefully, "-but why would you need to be here?"

"Yeah, sunshine here-" Derek spoke, looking at you with a raised eyebrow, "-has a point boy wonder."

Spencer continued, his voice raised to a slightly higher pitch, "Uh, maybe ask Rossi?"

"Sorry, Spence," you shook your head, working it out in your head, "-we're not turning around. It really doesn't make any sense, we're almost at the store now."

Derek grinned, one you knew he wore specifically for Reid, "Yeah, and to me, it just sounds like pretty boy here has a case of jealousy. Nothing too urgent."

"I-" Reid echoed, defensive, "-uh no, that's not what's happening, Rossi did-"

You raised an eyebrow at the uncharacteristically not Spencer tone of Spencer's voice, mouthing to Derek, "What's that about?"

Derek snickered, but he didn't explain. As usual.

"Listen, Reid-" Derek added, his voice steady with an air of teasing, "-although Y/N is very irresistible, I will refrain from stealing them away from you."

"I-" Spencer's voice spoke, exhausted and a bit defensive, "-I never said Y/N was mine, Morgan. Rossi just wanted-"

"That's enough, boy wonder-" Derek hummed flipping the phone to his ear, "-you're off of speaker now."

You watched as Morgan carefully listened to the distant hum of Spencer's voice, and a giant smug grin slipped across his face. One that just screamed that he'd tease Reid later.

Derek winked at you, as he responded with a telling gleam in his eye, "So Rossi did tell you to come, but after you annoyed him in to doing so? Still sounds like jealousy, kid."

There was a loud yell on the other end, a bit of a frustrated tone, you could tell. Derek had done it once more, Reid was frustrated.

"Hey, baby girl-" Derek spoke as smooth as butter, "-I'm sorry you had to take his place, but can I politely ask you to tell pretty boy to man up?"

You snorted, confused but at this point, you'd found bliss in the unknown. With such a big secret, you'd easily began to understand that silence was key in most areas.

With a sigh, you'd turned to look out the window and your feelings mustered in your chest. Another fail.

//||♡◇♡||\\

It was an exhausting morning, although no case had spiraled into your department, everyone was busy wrapping up previous paperwork. Including those with families, which you found to be absolutely devastating.

You kept glancing up at JJ, she seemed exhausted and she had the cutest little boy at home -who not to mention was Reid’s godson. Henry was an angel in every aspect of the word with what little you’d interacted with the boy, you’d still die for him.

Plus, watching Reid interact with him? He’d be a great Dad, just based on that.

Not, not necessarily with you. 

It could be, you’d pegged Spencer as one who would adopt. His wonderful brain probably knew all the statistics of orphans and chances of mishaps in birth and percentage of abandonment in this city. You’d actually only wanted to adopt too, so maybe you were just projecting-

Okay, re-center.

You blinked, watching as JJ’s stack of papers kept growing and you kept imagining Henry getting sadder by the hour... You had known since coming back to the team, and being the lead in the communication and press department, she’d really been weighed down.

You’d had the sort of specialist as well, dabbling in the press, and you definitely didn’t have any loving husband and child at home. With a sigh, you raised up from your spinning chair, taking a longing look at your small stack and approaching JJ.

Clearing your throat, you sat in a chair by her desk with a smile, pretending to dust off the stack, “You’ve got your night made, huh?”

JJ lightly chuckled, “Yeah, all of these are for various press releases in the past few weeks. It’s really a nightmare.”

“Do you-” you pursed your lips, thumbing through the one on top, “-I know I’m not the Jennifer Jareau, but I’ve worked in press and pretty sure all of your conferences are taped somewhere... Do you think I could pick these up for you?”

JJ blinked, pausing for a second, baffled, “You’d... You’d do that for me?”

“Well,” you rolled your eyes, playfully, “-more like for Henry, but...”

JJ chuckled, “Right, of course. I’ll just... go ask Hotch? And this means so much to me, you don’t even-”

You waved her off, “No, let’s just say you owe me one? That fair? To be honest, I was just going to go home and binge a few episodes. Like the cliched unsuccessful adult. Plus, I don’t have a cute little family to go back to. So... I want to do this for you.”

JJ paused, “Okay, but I do owe you one, for real. No take-backs.”

You nodded with a smile, patiently following JJ with your eyes -you’d had a habit of ensuring everyone you’d known got to their next location safely, it came with the job. Just at the base of the stairs, JJ ran into the familiar man you just couldn’t get out of your head: Dr. Spencer Reid.

Their words were hushed, Spencer trying desperately to keep it at a low volume, and JJ seemed to be well... mother-henning him. Derek walked up beside you, just as JJ started to motion towards you -quite vividly, actually. 

She was pointing her eyes to you, you saw her mouth your name a few times, and now she was... pointing at you. It took everything in you, not to laugh actually.

You spoke to Derek, with a sarcastic tone, “You think they’re talking about me?”

Derek chuckled, “You might be confused with the potted plant, sunshine.”

You snickered, going back to look at them, and now JJ was motioning you to come to her. Like angry mother, when you’d stayed out past curfew.

Raising your eyebrows to Morgan, he muttered with a smirk, “Someone’s in trouble.”

You shoved him over, as you made your way to the perhaps frustrated woman who had been motioning to you just earlier. Spencer was still standing there, awkwardly, actually, with quite the flush to his face.

“Uh-” you spoke, locking eyes with JJ, “-what’s up? I thought I was just going to go do your files, I-”

JJ grabbed your wrist, looking at Spencer with a stern eye, “Wait here, Reid. Don’t move. Y/N, can you step into the breakroom with me?”

At this point, the entire BAU was watching the interaction. Even Garcia was poking her head out of her tech room, and the rest were huddled across the room. You glanced to Spencer for some sort of explanation, but he just blinked at you with those once loved brown eyes.

They were on thin ice right now, because JJ seemed to be offended.

“I’m confused, but-” you met JJ’s eyes, quietly, “-okay...?”

JJ wasted no time, dragging your arm away, as you frantically said goodbye to him with a small smile. You always had to smile at him, it was like on a checklist in your head. You read somewhere that it helps people fall in love, it was probably scientific.

Sliding into the breakroom, she closed the door and slid the blinds down. You chuckled lightly just at the pure frustration on her features, Spencer must’ve said something really... offensive? He didn’t seem the type.

“So,” you spoke with a raised brow, “-can I ask questions now?”

JJ paused, anger dissipating from her furrowed brow, “Uh yeah, about that...”

“Let me guess-” you hummed, tired from the day, “-you can’t answer them?”

“Yeah,” JJ responded, carefully, “-hey, are you okay?”

You paused, actually debating in your mind, “Yes, I’d say so.”

JJ stared at you, “I... I don’t think so. Is it the Reid thing?”

You chuckled, a little hopelessly, as you sat at one of the small table, “It’s jinxed to talk about it, JJ. I’d be careful.”

“Jinxed?” JJ slid into the seat across from you, with a look of concern gleaming in her eye.

You raised an eyebrow, “Everytime it happens, Spence butts in.”

She scoffed, “You know, I think those might be coincidences. There’s no way that it could- Crap.”

You smiled wide, just out of the corner of your eye, you could see brown eyes slipping through the blinds. Spencer wasn’t that sneaky.

JJ was speaking kind of out of the side of her mouth, “Y/N, act shocked. I mean, jaw dropping.”

“Jaw dropping?” you spoke, raising your eyebrows and covering your mouth with an air of urgency.

JJ lips turned up, as she bit back laughter, “Perfect.”

Uncovering your mouth, you raised a brow, asking, “What is this for?”

“It’s to make Reid think we’re talking about something in particular,” JJ responded, her face barely flinching at the mention.

“And,” you added, “-lemme guess? I can’t know what.”

“Yes, I’m sorry,” JJ began, as the brown eyes vanished from the window, “-but, on the brightside, he’s gone! And we can continue our conv-”

Suddenly, the door burst open and -who would’ve guessed- Spencer came tumbling in like the clumsy man he is.

You blinked, turning to JJ with a tired smile, “You were saying?”

Spencer grinned, sheepishly, and spoke in a lighter tone than normal, “Uh, hey, you guys! I didn’t know we were having a meeting-” he slid into the seat beside you, “-anyway, so what are we talking about?”

JJ blinked, a little astonished at the very unSpencer-like behavior, lucky for her, you’d been dealing with this for ages and came prepared.

“Henry,” you answered, with a questitive tone, “-why? Should we be talking about something else, Spencer?”

Spencer blinked, turning towards you and on cue his ears went pink, “I uh- maybe?”

You laughed, continuing despite your own cheeks burning a bit, “Oh, you mean me picking up JJ’s work? That’s also mostly for Henry... Why do you need to know, Spence?”

JJ added, “Actually, he was talking to me, earlier, as I’m sure you saw... and he wanted to help you with the work? I don’t know why he went to me, but-”

“Oh,” you spoke softly, you turned to him, “-well if you have no plans, I’d really appreciate the help.”

“Pfft, plans?” Spencer echoed, face bright red at this point, “-I don’t... I’d never-”

“I’ll take that as a yes,” you raised an eyebrow, standing up from your chair with a smile, “-and JJ, thanks for the talk. I’ll just go grab those files off your desk.”

JJ smiled at you, “Again, thank you so much... I don’t know how I’ll repay you.”

“I’ll figure it out for you, Js” you laughed, slipping out of the room with a sigh of relief. Thank god you were out of that situation.

And just on the brink of peace, Derek spoke up, “What was that all about, sunshine?”

“You have to tell us!!” Garcia added, enthusiastically just like with everything else.

You groaned, playfully, “Not you two! You know my weaknesses so well.” 

They stared at you, expectantly.

“Plus, it was about nothing-” you spoke, making your way to JJ’s desk, “-now, if you’ll excuse me... I have work to do.”

Garcia pouted, skipping away to her room with a look in her eyes that implied she’d ask questions later, and Derek shrugged it off.

With your back turned, you organized the stack on JJ’s desk. Trying to break it into two different stacks, making them even -despite knowing Spencer would 100% be faster.

Adjusting your grip, you heard the door close just behind you -that was the breakroom- and prepared yourself for either of them in your company. Taking the newly organized stack, you walked to your desk with as much energy as you could at this point.

Just as you sat down and pushed a stack onto Spencer’s desk -he was helping-, Derek’s voice caught your ear. 

“Hey, you excited for your blind date tonight, pretty boy?”

You froze, looking up as Spencer looked nervously at you, “I actually promised Y/N that I’d help th-”

“Spence?” you asked, a little confused and a dash heartbroken, “-I thought you didn’t have any plans? I can pick these up on my own-”

Spencer scrambled, “Well, I actually-”

You interrupted, pulling the files back on your desk, “You just promised me Spence, go on your date. I don’t want to intrude-”

Spencer tried to speak up, “Y/N, wait-”

“Spence, come on-” you laughed, “-you can’t tell me you’d choose paperwork over a date? They could be the love of your life, Spence. Go on the d-”

“I’d rather be with you!” Spencer exclaimed, his face flushed to the max, “-I’d rather be here with you.”

“That’s my cue to leave,” Derek’s eyes widened, stepping back out of your view and you were a little speechless, honestly.

“Oh,” you laughed, pushing down any hope that may have risen in your chest, “-of course, Spencer Reid would choose paperwork over a date.”

Spencer sighed, “Oh god, how are you so oblivious and so cute doing it?”

“I uh-” you answered back, as your face fell red, “-what?”

Words began slipping past his lips, “I want to spend every waking moment with you, Y/N. Not just... not just paperwork.”

You swallowed, your mouth moving but no words coming out. The floor had literally been ripped out from under you, and you felt like you couldn’t breathe.

“Y/N?” Spencer wandered closer to you, eyes scanning the area and seeing the crowd building in front of the elevator, “-Here, come with me.”

“O-Okay,” you laced your fingers with his, as he dragged you into the breakroom once more, where JJ left apparently.

The two of you sliding back into the chairs from before

You blinked, as Spencer let out a breath, and you sat in silence for longer than you felt was comfortable. So, you decided to do something about it.

“So every waking moment, huh?” you smirked, with a bit of timidness in your tone.

Spencer smiled, his ears turning bright red, but he was oddly the most calm you’d ever seen him -leaning back in his chair with a warm look in his eyes, “If you want too? Maybe?”

You grinned, quietly extended your hand to meet his across the table with a small smile, “How about dinner first?”

Spencer scratched the back of his neck, with a nervous grin and took your hand across the table, “Of course, yeah... Yeah.”

“Not today though, Dr. Reid-” you hummed, “-if you don’t remember, you promised a certain person some help with some paperwork?”

Spencer played along, tapping his chin, “You know what, I think I might remember...”

“Oh, come on-” you laughed, pulling him from his chair, “-you big goof...”

“At least I’m your big goof,” Spencer added, as you pulled him off his feet.

“Yeah, of course,” you smiled, stopping in your place,”-but we really need to get to work, Spence.”

He smiled, his cute cheeky smile that you loved, “You’re right, we should get going.”

“Like actually though,” you broke the mood, “-we don’t wanna stay here all night, Spencer.”

“Oh, of course, yeah!” he responded, waking up from his daze, as the two of you prepared yourself for the night.

But hey, at least you were spending it with him, and maybe... just maybe you wouldn’t mind “every waking moment” either.

[funsizearsonist]

Bleeding Ink (Luke angst)

Summary: Luke’s songwriting takes a hit when he gets hurt. He thought emotions made a song better, but he got the proportions wrong. or “Maybe have a little song with those feelings”

Category: Angst 

Fandom: Julie and the Phantoms

Paring: N/A

Word Count: 1,559

Warnings/Includes: Like 1 swear, some mentions of an argument, and some descriptions of ~sadness~

A/N:  I hope you like this! I'm still very new at writing fanfiction so as always, constructive criticism and any feedback in general are much appreciated!! Hope you like it!! 

Mandatory Thanking of the Betas: Thank u for supporting me on this @theolivekiddo!! I probably wouldn’t have posted it if not for you because I have no confidence and I thought it was ~bad~ :P I’m still not so sure it’s good but u convinced me to post it so that’s something I guess

AO3 link here

Please don’t repost my work without my permission, in part or whole. My work can also be found on AO3 under the same username. Thank you!

Jatp taglist: @n0wornever, @calamitykaty, @unsaidmegan, @morganayennefertyrell, @link-102, @crybabyddl, @willex-owns-my-heart (I’m hoping it’s ok to tag y’all bc u said in a post here that you’d like to be added to taglists but I can take you off anytime, just send me an ask :))

Taglist for everything <3: @theolivekiddo

Bleeding Ink

Luke wouldn’t ever admit it to anyone, but he’s not quite the carefree troublemaker people think. The band knew, of course. He never had to tell them, they just knew. Probably because they were his family, they knew pretty much everything about each other. And now Julie knows, too. That’s about everyone he can come up with, besides Willie and maybe Flynn, that he actually knows now, so it looks like his secret is safe. The issue is the carefree part. Because Luke may be a hell of a troublemaker but he cares a lot.

He cares about his family, even through their ups and downs. He cares about his friends, his band; they’re pretty much a family to him too. And he cares, so so much, about music. Music has been there his whole life. Mostly rock, his favorite, but he can appreciate pretty much any kind of music. He’s listened to music throughout his whole life. It made him feel better when he was sad, widened his grins when he was happy, and kept all the in-betweens interesting. 

He only loved music more when he started writing it. Luke started writing music late in middle school, but he would probably kill you if you knew. He always thought it was good he started early to get it all out of the way. It wasn’t really music yet, just putting down words without having anything to say. He still thinks they were less of lyrics and more like pages of word vomit. The old notebooks from that first year or so are probably still lying around somewhere, but Luke would rather look forward than back at all of that. He puts meaning into his music now, and Luke thinks it’s only ever gotten better, especially working with Julie. Except for a short period in the middle where it definitely got worse. 

The thing is, Luke puts emotion into every one of his songs. He thinks you can’t have truly good music without putting at least a little bit of heart in it; and Luke cares so much about all of his music he can’t honestly help it. Writing music has helped him understand his feelings, and it’s his biggest way of expressing them. Usually though, he doesn’t really need music as an outlet or anything. He loves playing the songs he’s worked on, all the emotions that go with them. The electric energy in Now or Never, the reassurance and connection in Bright, the determination and fearlessness in Stand Tall, all of his songs had pieces of himself in them. But he writes them because he wants to, not because he needs to get anything out. Most of the time, at least.

There was only really one instance in Luke’s life where that wasn’t the case. Where he was so overwhelmed with emotion that he had to get it out onto a page before he could move on. Dying and coming back as ghosts, making friends with the girl who brought you back and being able to play music again, only to find your only surviving bandmate stole your old songs, and the whole Caleb thing probably should have done it. The thing is, Luke (and Alex and Reggie) got put through that rollercoaster so fast that he could barely make out emotions from the jumbled blur, much less put them into music. Before he could even say “What the hell is going on here?!” Luke was writing new songs. For their new band with Julie, no less. And he had pretty much gotten past all that drama already, somehow. It probably had something to do with Julie. After all, “No music is worth making, Julie, if we’re not making it with you.”

The time that really got to Luke, was actually part of how he ended up playing up music anyhow. It all started when his mother got him a guitar for his birthday, happy to support his interest in music. Perhaps she didn’t understand quite how deep the interest ran, because she might never have gotten it if she had. He was immediately captivated by it, and within a week Luke had the basics pretty much down already. It didn’t take him long to get even better, and to decide to form a band with some friends. He went home that night, blood pumping fast with excitement, and told his mom the news. It didn’t go over quite as well as he thought.

His mother had already become a bit apprehensive about how much Luke had come to like the guitar, but she had decided not to say anything as she thought it was just a harmless hobby. But then Luke came home and told her he was in a band, and all the fears rushed to surface and spilled over. She never should have had that much of a reaction or been so harsh, but it was all because she cares about Luke. She is his mother after all. And he had already been falling a bit behind on schoolwork, spending all his free time working out new songs with his guitar. That would only get worse if he joined a band, not even considering his future and the bandmates he wanted to play with, and where they wanted to play music, and all sorts of other concerns that came out when Luke told her about the new band.

It really hit Luke hard that his mother was instantly full of criticisms. Couldn’t she just be happy for him? He came home all excited and she instantly twisted it into hurt and anger, which turned their discussion into more of a fight, or at least certainly didn’t help matters. He’s not quite sure anymore exactly what was said that night, but he got the memo- “You can’t ditch everything for a band when you live in this household” - so he lashed back with some venom of his own, and left. It didn’t even take a whole night for him to regret it. 

Biking away with basically only his guitar, the thing that mattered most to him but his mother hated most. Luke only took a good few minutes of furious pedaling to realize that he had no idea where he was going, and he was exhausted. All the fight drained out of him, all the adrenaline faded away, he was just hurt. No more energy to be angry, all the white noise of yelling in the argument cleared from his head, and he couldn’t believe his mother said all that to him. He was so excited to come home and tell his family about his new band, just earlier that evening. It already seemed like so long ago. He felt a little bad about the things he said back to his mom already too, but it was still very clear to him that they were in retaliation. If his mother hadn’t exploded at him for chasing his passion, it never would have happened. He ends up deciding to crash at the Molina’s place. After all Rose did say they could use the garage whenever they wanted. Luke was already almost drowning in this dread about everything that happened, and he was still too tired to really realize it. He just decided to knock out.

It hit him full force in the morning. Luke woke up in an unfamiliar room, confused for about half a second, before getting hit by a tidal wave of “oh, shit.” 

Fighting with his family is what really managed to upset him. Nothing in Luke’s life had ever hit him that hard before. That’s when his songwriting really hit a low point for a bit. He wrote Unsaid Emily once he had gotten himself together as a way to  conclude his feelings on the matter, and a way to say “I’m sorry” to his mom without actually saying it right to her. He wrote the song to summarize everything he had to say about what happened, but he tried to leave most of the emotion out of it. He learned his lesson about not putting his feelings about it all into song.

In the few weeks before that, his writing was closer to the state they were in middle school. Except this time instead of having nothing to say, he had too much he needed to get out, and he didn’t know how to make it into proper lyrics. He poured too much emotion into them. Instead of being a wave of energy over a crowd, they’d be more like a tsunami, too overpowering. Luke was just writing them for himself at that point, even the band wouldn’t see those songs, much less a stage. 

The one thing he could come up with to say on it, looking back, is that’s the thing about being hurt. You have too much to hold inside of you so you bleed your soul out onto paper in ink, but instead of making it beautiful, it just makes the pages dark. All the feelings are just as ugly when you put them down on paper, and once they’re no longer caught in your chest, you don’t want to have anything to do with them. But their ink still stains your hands, and you know they may be gone but you can never forget them. 

End A/N:  I wrote this all at like 3 AM so I wasn't really focused on the quality of the writing and more so the narrative, hope u don't mind that. It doesn't really?? Have a point?? I don't think I was going somewhere with it I just wanted to express my thought on how Luke would be doing. Let me know what you thought! If this wasn't written in the dead of night how could it have been better? What parts did you like about it? If you don’t want to give feedback, that’s fine. Just please reblog or maybe comment if you enjoyed it, don’t just leave a like. Thanks for reading!

[criminalminds4days]

Family Matters | Chapter 8: First Time

Warnings: Swearing, sexual references, violence and murder references, public embarrassment, and very bad jokes!

Word Count: 2.8k

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Tag list: @mcntsee @lets-be-gay-for-the-angel @evelyncade @haylaansmi @paulaern @myfandomlife-blog​

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(This gif is not mine)

Chapter 8: First Time

It is time to reveal the first meeting between the shy doctor and his new, very clumsy girlfriend.

Why is this the time, you may ask?

Well, because,  what better way to intrigue the reader than by leaving the couple in newfound happiness without delivering the details of the said night. As well as provide a title that could reference the event and/or have it mean something completely different.

Not to worry, the awaited next morning shall be given in the next chapter.

Without any more delay, please enjoy the individual perspective of the first time they saw each other.

She took a deep breath as the elevator doors opened for the first time, leading her to what was bound to be her new workplace. She smiled politely at all the people she encountered in her short walk and as soon as she reached the glass doors she froze.

How had she made it this far? What if she wasn't good enough? What if the whole room hated her and she was just a horrible profiler and got fired on day two?

No, she was good enough otherwise she wouldn't be here. That was easier said than believed. She gathered the courage she needed and pushed the door, only to be greeted with it being stuck. She continued putting force, hoping it would decide to open before someone noticed her struggling, but it was too late for that.

"It's a pull, not a push." A deep voice said, behind her. She turned to see a dark-skinned tall man with no hair and very full eyebrows. He was wearing a black T-shirt that made his obvious muscles stand out. He wore black pants and dress shoes and a gun was holstered to his side. He was cute! Not that she had the time for dating, she didn't want a repeat of last year.

Instead of commenting on his appearance or flirting, she decided to pull the door, and would you know? It was suddenly unstuck. "I knew it wasn't stuck, I was just making sure it was strong enough."

The man chuckled, followed by a "sure," that wasn't even trying to sound convincing.

She made her way inside the bullpen, looking for her new boss, Aaron Hotchner's office. As she approached said room, a group of desks with only one person sitting caught her eye. She debated whether to approach but she could feel the man from earlier staring at her and decided not to. As soon as she met with agent Hotch, as he asked her to refer to him as, they were called for a case and she was in the meeting room for the first time, sitting as far away from everyone as possible.

"Everyone, before we start I want to introduce you to our new Agent," Hotch said, as he referred to the woman. She stood and waved. "This is our team, Derek Morgan," he said pointing at the man from earlier, he winked at her knowingly and she simply smiled, already wishing to leave. "This is Jennifer Jareau, Emily Prentiss, David Rossi-"

"DAVID ROSSI?!" Her voice echoed through the room and she instantly felt embarrassment settle in. "I am so sorry, I'm such a fan. You must get that a lot, sorry."

She looked at the members she had been introduced to, Jennifer Jareau was wearing a striped dress shirt and dress pants, her blonde hair was left down and her blue eyes looked amused. Emily Prentiss wore her black hair in a low ponytail, a pink shirt, and black pants, she also seemed to be having a good time at her expense.

The man whose books she had in paperback, hardcover and audible, simply chuckled as if his only feeling was amusement. His hair was short and he had a lock beard look going on, a black suit with a matching red tie a clearly expensive watch on his wrist, he basically smelled like money.

"As I was saying," continued Hotch, adjusting the blue tie of his seemingly very expensive suit, a white dress shirt underneath. "This is Penelope Garcia, our Tech analyst, and Dr. Spencer Reid." She looked at the last two members and for the first time, she saw people like her. Although all the members introduced prior seemed like good people, they also seemed so professional, like they knew what they were doing and when to get their hands dirty. The remaining two, seemed younger, like how they presented themselves to the world was the same whether they were on the job as it was in their spare time.

Penelope had a beautiful rainbow dress, her blonde hair with a lot of volume and pins stuck all over, although she didn't like cats, she adored the woman's cat-themed glasses, and deep down she was a sucker for glitter. Spencer, the other doctor in the room, was wearing a white shirt underneath the comfiest looking red sweater she had ever seen. It was weird seeing someone wearing a sweater in the middle of the summer, but hey, who was she to judge? His hair was lazily pushed back and his curls were so pretty! How do you get curls that pretty?! Not to mention he was good looking, a defined jawline, and those brown eyes could melt her any time he wanted.

There she was, thinking things she shouldn't of yet another coworker. "It is a pleasure to meet you all." She took her seat again and Penelope began presenting the case.

As they were brainstorming, she had finally felt confident enough to suggest something, only to find herself interrupted by Spencer Reid. "Nu-uh bruh, I know you didn't just interrupt me mid-sentence." She spoke, clearly not having it. "I did not work my butt off to make it to the FBI just so that a man who wears sweaters in the middle of July cuts me off on my first day!" All eyes turned to her, perplexed. "I don't know how they do it here in the East Coast but back in the west we let a person finish their sentence." Laughs emerged in the room, and Spencer's eyebrows furrowed, slightly annoyed and very confused.

"I beg your pardon?" The man questioned.

"As you should. My pardon is granted." She turned back and finished her thoughts.

At that moment, unknowingly, she had just put into motion the seed for what would become her and Spencer Reid's relationship. And all the events that followed, her almost-death at the hands of a cult leader, her cool head when proving Morgan's innocence, and the countless times she made sure every single member of her team remained safe while providing them with immense ammunition to laugh when feeling down left an impression. Neither knew it but they were on each other's mind more than they realized. But that's not what you want to hear right now, is it?

After getting on the jet, the seat next to who she believed to be Emily Prentiss was the only one available. She took the seat and the woman gave her a kind smile.

"It wasn't that bad." She assured her.

"I may have just made a really bad first impression."

"You didn't, if anything we like you more than before." She followed this by a wink as the team reviewed the case and they took off.

"So, detective Owen is leading this investigation, you guys remember him, correct?" JJ spoke first.

"From the stalker case," Hotch noted.

"Yes." The blonde agreed, "Spence, you remember that case, right?"

"Yes Jennifer, I do." She took a chance by glancing up to find him very flustered at the mention.

"Do you ever talk to, what's her name again... Lila, right? Do you keep in contact with her?" She questioned, an amused smile forming on her face.

"I honestly think we should focus on this particular case." He answered, avoiding the question.

She turned to Emily who shrugged, just as confused as she was. Rossi seemed as lost as the two women, but Morgan and JJ seemed to be having a good time.

After landing and meeting with the local PD, they had begun their investigation, trying to understand this unsub. It had been about twenty-four hours since she had food and her growling stomach wasn't helping anyone.

"How about we go to get some food newbie?" Emily suggested, "I could use some right now."

"Sure."

As they made their way to the first food cart they saw, Emily cursed under her breath. "Fuck, I forgot my purse."

"It's okay, my treat. After all, thanks to you I'm getting food."

"I will pay you back."

"No need." With this said, the two ordered a hot dog and a soda. She should have known better than to do so, as soon after her first bite, the meal decided to find a second home in her shirt. "Oh, come on!"

"That's not good." Emily agreed, "let me run to the hotel, it's two blocks from here, and I'll get you a new shirt."

"You don't need to do that."

"I will be fast, don't worry."

Too late she realized that Emily's purse, which she assumed had her hotel key, was in the office. Nonetheless, the woman returned with a sweater to help her cover the stain. The irony wasn't lost on her, she judged Spencer's sweater-wearing and now she had to do the same.

This was definitely going to be a great day.

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Spencer Reid was never one to be noisy, nor the first one to notice people. This often came out as rude and most people believed he thought he was better than them, which was not the case. The truth is that overcoming his addiction had left him drained, the parting of Elle Greenaway, the only woman he could safely admit he loved, and the departure of yet another father figure, Jason Gideon, had made him developed a closed-off personality that prevented him from ever creating attachments to new individuals. Emily Prentiss and David Rossi being the only exceptions.

This is important to know because as the most beautiful woman he had ever seen walked into the bullpen, he tried his hardest to avoid looking up. Granted, it was more for appearance sake than anything, because there was no way he hadn't noticed her. How could he not? She wore a white shirt that was loose enough to give her a sense of floating through the room. He had seen her struggle to open the door, and the interaction she had with Derek Morgan and knew if he made a move the Doctor would have no chance. Not that he wanted one, he didn't even know her name.

He saw her walk towards Aaron Hotchner's office and any possibility that might have crossed his mind had been completely shattered. She would be his teammate, and fraternization was not allowed within the same unit. Again, that was just stating the facts, because he wouldn't even consider entering a romantic relationship. It was true that he had kissed more girls in the last two years than he had done in the last twenty-six years of his life, but that didn't mean he was a player, or that he would try to get in the new agents' pants.

After discussing these same things with himself he was called into the bullpen and knew they would be introduced to the new girl. He fixed his sweater and rubbed his hands clearing the sweat that had accumulated.

"You okay, Spence?"

"Yeah, why?"

"You seem a little nervous."

"I haven't had enough coffee, is all."

"Well, how could you? Your drinks are basically liquid sugar."

"It's not that bad JJ." They both reached the room in which they held their round table and sat next to each other.

Slowly, the room filled with the rest of the team and lastly by their Unit Chief and the new member. She was introduced to all of them and he couldn't help but notice how her hands seemed so shaky and her cheeks were flushed. He took his view from her and attempted to concentrate on the case. When he finally found himself in the zone was when his biggest mistake occurred.

"If you look at the scar marks though it seems-" Before he could continue, the girl he had just interrupted had cut him off.

She made sure to set him straight and he looked up just in time to hear her mention his summer-sweater wearing and feel completely embarrassed.

"I beg your pardon?" He said a little annoyed. Sure, it wasn't correct to interrupt her, but bringing his sweater tendencies was not polite. She took his words as an actual apology whether he intended it that way or not (which he didn't) and continued.

The memory would forever be engraved in his brain, he knew that were the little things that made having an eidetic memory, not such a great perk. So, as they sat in the jet he avoided all eye contact.

How could never look her in the eye without remembering their first real interaction, and he was sure she would not want to actually have a conversation with a guy that had come off as dismissive on her first day.

He would have overthought the whole situation if it hadn't been for JJ reminding him of his first 'fling' as the team often referred to it. Lila had been an actress they had protected from a stalker, and Reid couldn't help but fall for her charms. They hadn't talked in a while, mostly because he knew dating someone you barely knew was hard enough, but doing it when the two of you lived on the other side of the country was even worse.

He made sure to try and forget the mentioned girl and the incident with the new agent as he fixed his bed space. Sleeping in hotel rooms made him very uncomfortable, knowing all the germs that could possibly inhabit every single inch, but he loved his job, so with a few accommodations, he got through it.

"More sweaters pretty boy?" Morgan said, taking one out of his go-bag. "How did it go, ah yes: I did not work my butt off to make it to the FBI just so that a man who wears sweaters in the middle of July cuts me off on my first day!"

"Please stop, it's bad enough I will forever have that memory seared in my brain. She probably thinks I'm a douchebag."

"She probably does." His roommate teased. "But don't worry, she'll come around, now, let's go. We have work to do."

Morgan threw the sweater onto his bed and the two made their way to the local police station. They spent about five hours trying to come up with a preliminary profile, hoping this would give them the insight they needed to determine the importance of victimology, and possible help with a geographical profile by letting them know if there had been missing person's reports or bodies of people that fit that general victimology. After that time Emily and the new girl decided to go get food. He was hungry too but decided against going with them because he didn't think he would be well received.

After about half an hour, the pair returned and the girl was wearing a sweater that very clearly resembled the one Morgan had left on his bed earlier that day. He didn't think much of it until they returned to their hotel room and said clothing item was nowhere to be found.

"How on earth does a sweater just disappear? We had a do not disturb sign up, there is no way housekeeping would come in." Morgan said as they both looked for it.

At this point, Spencer knew why he wouldn't find his sweater, but decided to remain silent. How could he ask her politely to return it? And more importantly, why was she wearing it? How did she get a hold of it?

He never really got an answer to these questions, as they were not really friends, and he didn't feel comfortable asking about it. She had worn it a couple of times, including during their kidnapping, it seemed rather odd to bring it up then. "Hey, I know we might die, but I just have to know: How did you get my sweater?" was probably not going to cut it. So he let her keep it, and eventually, while the memory was still engraved in his brain, it became less relevant. That was, until the next morning of their shared night, when he saw said sweater very visibly hanging on her closet door and decided to try it on and see if it still fit.

[angelofthequeers]

Not a Good Look: Chapter 7

@thequeenofpotatoeunicornss @lady-charinette @elmokingkong tagged as requested :)

Chapter 6 | AO3 link

Disclaimer: I don’t own ML.

Thanks to everyone who’s enjoyed this fic! It was just a little something I had to get out because of this whole quarantine crap…and then I misplaced my brain cell and picked my presentation topics with the same due week as my essays, so this was a welcome break from four assessments at once.

Because I got a few queries about Gabriel hearing the conversation after he was Venomed and realising that Adrien is Chat: considering that the driver in 'Queen Wasp' was delirious and didn't know what the heck was going on, I see Venom as freezing all the senses and basically making you black out. So no, he doesn't have a clue what happened after he was Venomed.

Also, you'll notice that I don't actually mention Emilie at all. That's because the investigation's still ongoing and they'd have to know to look behind the painting, let alone the combination to it, and they won't have that without Gabriel telling them or without some good tech if they did suspect it in the first place. Unlike in 'Hold Me', it's only been a few days since the takedown, not a few weeks, and Adrien doesn't have the knowledge about Emilie and the secret lair here that he did in 'Hold Me' when Gabriel physically showed him, so he can't go and tell any of the authorities. Just figured I'd throw that in before people start asking XD

“I can’t believe it!” Alya throws her hands up and almost steps onto the road in front of a speeding car, which honks furiously at her as it passes. “All that evidence against Lila and you’re not letting me air it?”

“Hawkmoth is fair game,” Marinette says. “And they’ll probably use the footage in court to prove that he was grooming an underage girl. But if you air that footage, you’re giving her a free ticket out. She’ll have solid proof that she was being manipulated by Mr Agreste. And honestly…Adrien’s right. Sure, we can expose her over the internet, but what then? It follows her everywhere she goes. She’s got no chance of ever growing past this evil, self-absorbed phase that she’s in because it’ll haunt her for the rest of her life.”

“That’s surprisingly mature for someone whose life was almost ruined by said phase,” Alya mutters.

“You think I’m happy about this?” Marinette says. “I want nothing more than to throw all her lies in her face and cackle like a witch about it. But I don’t want to sink to that kind of person. Being her for five minutes, even though it was an illusion…it made me pity her. She’ll do anything for her fifteen minutes of fame, even if she has to make deals with creepy old men who try to intimidate her, and she’ll squash anyone who gets in her way. And honestly? That’s just sad. I’m the one with true friends. I’m the one who’ll still be standing when the dust settles. Not her. I told her I had faith in my friends and look where we ended up.”

Alya reaches over and rests the back of her hand on Marinette’s forehead. “Are you sure we got the Butterfly and Peacock on Wednesday night?” she says. “You sure there’s not an akuma that’s making you say this stuff? Or that you’re not a sentimonster?”

“Oh, ha, ha,” Marinette says, rolling her eyes. “And besides, the police may or may not have told Ladybug that they were arresting Lila yesterday for colluding with a terrorist, since there’s enough doubt in the footage of me as her to at least claim that she had a clue that he was Hawkmoth. And even though she’ll most likely wriggle her way out of it because that proof’s not a hundred percent solid, at least she won’t be playing everyone like a puppet anymore. There’ll be just enough doubt that they’ll start to question her and then her lies will just…fall. And it’ll kill her more to have no attention than to even have bad attention.”

Alya blinks at her. “No, seriously, who are you and what have you done with Marinette? I know there’s no way you’d come up with that all by yourself.”

“Okay, fine!” Marinette crosses her arms. “Tikki talked me down from going ballistic last night, and Adrien, Kagami, and I had a good talk about what to do about her.”

“I knew it!” Alya says, jabbing Marinette in the chest. “That’s way more complex than your single brain cell can handle!”

“Excuse me?” Marinette splutters. “How dare you? I’m the saviour of Paris! You have my posters in your room!”

“And I’m also your best friend, so I’m allowed to ruthlessly roast you,” Alya says smugly. “Too bad, so sad.”

Sure enough, as Marinette had predicted, Lila’s at school today and is holding court in the classroom, strategically sobbing into her hands when Marinette and Alya enter the room.

“Oh, Marinette! Alya! I’m so glad you’re here!” Lila cries. “Marinette, I’m so sorry for everything I’ve done to you! I never wanted to hurt you but, well, Mr Agreste took advantage of my lying disorder and our natural rivalry and he – he –” She sniffles and blows her nose, and Marinette resists the incredibly strong urge to roll her eyes at the theatrics. “He manipulated me! He promised me modelling contracts and favours and that I could spend time with Adrien, since I had a crush on him, and – and oh my gosh, I feel so dirty!”

“It’s okay, Lila,” Rose says soothingly, patting her on the back. “He took advantage of you. It’s nothing to be ashamed of!”

“I always knew that Mr Agreste was a dirty old man,” Alix growls. “On top of being a shitty father and a supervillain!”

“I mean, we were all used by him as akumas,” Chloé scoffs, delicately touching up her mascara in her compact mirror. “You’re nothing special, Rossi. And Adrikins is staying at my hotel now, so which of us ended up winning, hmm?”

“Well, we might never be friends, but I forgive you for everything you’ve done,” Marinette says as everyone glares at Chloé. Kind of rich of Chloé to say that, considering what she’d done as Miracle Queen, but no one actually remembers that, so…oh well. “And I’m…sorry for the way I treated you. I should have believed you about your disabilities even if you didn’t have that lying disorder.”

As much as it pains her to do so, this apology is necessary. As Tikki and Adrien had pointed out, their classmates had in fact been in the right to believe Lila about her disabilities instead of forcing her to prove every little thing, and Marinette had wilted when Tikki had asked her to remember how she’s felt whenever anyone’s doubted her claim of being autistic because she “seems normal enough” and demanded that she provide evidence. But Marinette’s not apologising for or excusing Lila’s evil manipulations and every other lie of hers, especially the ones that got her expelled, and Tikki and Adrien had thankfully taken her side on that point.

“Oh, of course I forgive you!” Lila says dramatically. “And I agree! Even if we never end up being friends, I’d much rather be on friendly terms than unfriendly!”

“So, what happens now?” Sabrina says. “My father told me that you were arrested yesterday!”

Lila’s face falls. “Oh, yes, they had to arrest me for colluding with a terrorist, but it’s all a formality and I’m sure to be let off in the trial! Especially since their only evidence is some footage of me talking to Mr Agreste that’s clearly doctored, since I’ve got an airtight alibi, and Alya’s interview of me that she had to get as more evidence against him! Ladybug had to summon an illusion of me to trick Mr Agreste into confessing, of course, and I was so scared that he would take it out on me if our plan failed, but I’m fully prepared to give media statements, even if Ladybug can’t confirm or deny that we were working together for my safety…”

Marinette’s eye twitches as Lila spins some tale about the grand plan that she’d been part of to take down Gabriel Agreste. But, to her surprise, their classmates aren’t falling over themselves to ooh and ahh at her story. They’re not calling her out, of course, but they’re just…losing interest the longer she talks about herself. Huh. That’s never happened before.

“What’s going on?” Marinette turns to whisper to Ivan. “You don’t believe her?”

Ivan shrugs. “She’s got a lying disorder. She can’t help it. Not gonna be mean for something she can’t help but…yeah, I don’t believe Ladybug would use a civilian like that.”

“I pity her, honestly,” Nathaniel pipes up from behind Ivan. “But I’m also kind of wondering what else she’s lied about, especially if Mr Agreste made her. Even if she wasn’t doing it to screw us over…she was still lying to us.”

Marinette could sing to the heavens. Finally, someone’s using their brain! It might not be immediate, but Lila’s downfall is just around the corner, and honestly? Marinette had been telling the truth earlier; all she can feel right now is pity for when Lila’s eventually left alone, surrounded by nothing but her lies as her empire crumbles around her. And honestly, maybe fading into obscurity like that is a worse punishment for Lila than being targeted and called out, since that would still be giving her the attention that she craves. But this? This is nothing.

Although Marinette keeps an absent eye on the door for Adrien’s entrance, she’s not expecting to see him, since she already knows that he’s not coming to school today as well. Not that she can blame him, really, after the whole “Hawkmoth exposed” thing that Alya had posted on the Ladyblog that’s generated so much traffic that poor Alya can’t even check up on it since it keeps crashing (much to her gleeful annoyance). Marinette doesn’t think that anyone will accuse him of being in league with Hawkmoth but, well, it’s inevitable that there’ll be some dicks who pull the whole “like father, like son” crap, so it makes sense that he wouldn’t want to expose himself to that.

However, that doesn’t stop her from making a beeline for Le Grand Paris after school, where Adrien and his bodyguard are staying temporarily since the mansion’s now considered a crime scene. It’s so…weird. Hawkmoth and Mayura have been taken down and Adrien’s life has been utterly turned on its head and shaken some more, yet the sun still casts its weak rays down on Marinette’s back. The pigeons still coo and rustle their wings, with Mr Ramier no doubt nearby. The cars still zoom past, leaving acrid trails in their wake. The world just…keeps on keeping on, with no regard to the massive shock that’s turned people’s lives upside-down. All these people – these animals – they won’t know, they won’t care, what she and her friends have had to go through, being used like pawns in a chess game and giving up so much for the greater good, in ways that will stay with them forever –

“Marinette!” Warm hands grab her by the shoulders and a pair of brown eyes root her to the spot, grounding her so that she doesn’t float away from everything that’s currently assaulting her brain. She lets out a shuddering gasp and slumps forward, allowing the person to fully embrace her, and she buries her nose in the damp skin of their neck and inhales sweat and sharp deodorant, along with the faintest traces of what smells like some kind of incense.

“Kagami,” she croaks and digs her fingers into the back of Kagami’s blazer. “Why? What did Adrien do to deserve this? What did we do to deserve this? Lila – Mr Agreste – am I really that bad that they teamed up to break me –”

“What they did to you isn’t a punishment for anything,” Kagami says, firm but soft at the same time. “They colluded like that because they’re awful people.”

“But the way I treated you and – and stalked Adrien – I stole his phone, I followed him around, I tried to sabotage you with Chloé at the movie event because I was jealous – it’s been bothering me but I didn’t – it didn’t hit – not until now, when I realised how Mr Agreste and Lila treated him like – like a toy –”

“Marinette –”

“Why do you even like me? Why does Adrien like me? He said I’m good but I’m not. I’ve done bad things and it’s like – everyone acts like me being Ladybug makes me a saint but I’m not, I’m just a teenage girl and I can’t cope, I can’t do this –”

“Yes, you can.” Kagami undoes Marinette’s pigtails so that she can run her fingers through Marinette’s hair, stroking it in a rhythmic pattern that hypnotises Marinette into a blurry trance. “Hawkmoth and Mayura are dealt with. I’m here to talk to Adrien, just as you are, and we’ll figure it out, okay? We always will. And I can’t say that I haven’t acted jealously before either, because I definitely clung to Adrien to make a point to you and Chloé at the movie premiere, so you’re not a bad person just because you did a few bad things. And your flaws don’t mean that Adrien was lying when he said that you’re a brilliant girl. I wouldn’t have feelings for you if you were anything less than extraordinary. Why do you think I like Adrien?”

“God – I’m a mess –”

“It’s okay. I moved us to an alleyway, so no one will see. And now that there aren’t any more akumas, you deserve this, Marinette. It’s okay.”

Dimly, Marinette registers her legs caving underneath her as she sobs into Kagami’s shoulder and clutches fistfuls of the other girl’s blazer, finally exorcising everything she’s had to keep bottled up for fear of akumatisation, because Kagami’s right: now that there aren’t any akumas, there’s no threat for expressing her emotions, and it’s so good to be able to just break down like this, rather than having to suppress everything and paste on a smile for the greater good. She almost jumps out of her skin when someone leans against her back and wraps their arms around her from behind, but then she gets a whiff of their musky, earthy smell and she melts into their embrace because it’s Adrien; it’s her kitty, and he’ll always be there for her no matter what.

“Wow, you weren’t lying when you said she was a mess,” Adrien murmurs, his voice distorted as though they’re underwater. “What brought it on?”

“I don’t know what triggered it, but I believe the underlying cause is not being able to express any of this with Hawkmoth around. She just…exploded.”

The voices turn to a dull buzz after that as Marinette gasps in air and her tears finally start to die down. The next time she’s able to discern individual words, it’s Adrien talking to her as she finally stops crying and just slumps against Kagami with her eyes closed and her limbs like lead weights.

“It’s okay, Marinette,” he’s saying. “I forgive you for stealing my phone and following me and Lila home and everything else. And Kagami forgives you for trying to embarrass her.”

“But why?” Marinette croaks. “It’s not normal. I’m not normal. Why don’t you h-hate me? I’m a creep.”

“After what Hawkmoth and Lila did, you still think you’re a creep?” Adrien says. He gently pulls her back, detaching her from Kagami, and he pulls her into his lap and tangles his fingers in her hair, his warm breath ghosting across the top of her head. Through her blurry eyes, Marinette sees Kagami snuggling up to Adrien’s side and pulling Marinette’s legs into her lap while she rests her head on Adrien’s shoulder. “I said I forgive you, bugaboo, not that you didn’t do anything wrong. So, you know, that means that I know you messed up and I’m okay with it. It’s not like I’ve never made mistakes either.”

Somehow, it’s the admission that yeah, she’d screwed up, but he forgives her for it, that manages to calm Marinette down the rest of the way; if he’d tried to excuse her actions and brush them off as her never doing anything wrong, that probably would’ve just brought on a fresh emotional meltdown. She sags against Adrien and closes her eyes, allowing the last of her meltdown to seep out of her and into the world around them, and when Kagami shifts under her legs, she acts purely on instinct and wraps her legs around Kagami to pull her closer.

“Looks like Ladybug never skipped leg day,” Adrien says when Marinette pulls Kagami to lean back against her. Although Marinette can’t see him, she just knows that he’s wearing that shit-eating grin that Chat Noir always has, so she punishes him by elbowing him gently in the gut. “Meowch!”

“So, I’m guessing this means we’re…a thing?” Marinette says. Her voice cracks halfway through her sentence, like she’s a teenage boy in the middle of puberty, but thankfully, neither person around her calls her out on it.

“I’m happy with that if we take it slow and don’t jump straight into the deep end,” Adrien says. “It’s pretty lonely in the hotel, but hopefully Gorilla or Nino’s mother gets custody of me soon. I don’t know who they’re leaning towards. And after what just happened…well, if both of you want to give me kitty cuddles, I won’t say no. And, uh…I have to confess. One of the times I messed up as Aspik was because I…couldn’t stop staring at Multimouse’s butt. So, uh, I think that beats out any creepy things you’ve done.”

The shock of hearing Adrien confess to looking at her butt like he’s a little kitten confessing to being naughty jolts a laugh out of Marinette, and then she’s sagging against Adrien in a fit of piercing laughter as tears roll down her face. Alya had been right the other night. What the hell is wrong with them? How did they end up in a two-person love square that turned into a tangled polygon when Kagami had entered the room?

“Then it’s official.” Kagami laces her fingers with a hysterical Marinette’s and rests their hands on her stomach. “I have a tentative boyfriend and a girlfriend. But Adrien has a moral obligation to punch anyone who makes any disgusting remarks about him having “two girls”.”

“You act like I wasn’t gonna do that anyway,” Adrien grumbles. “I’ll also throw in an additional punch if they ask you two to make out with each other.”

“Our hero,” Marinette tries to say dryly, but the effect is ruined when she chokes it out in the middle of the hiccups of her dying laughter. “Whatever would we do without you?”

“Well, your life would be –”

“No, wait, don’t finish that sentence. I know you’ll make a pun out of it somehow and then I’ll be forced to punch you for it.”

“Aww,” Adrien whines, while Kagami snorts. “But that’s half my charm!”

“Getting punched? I agree,” Kagami says innocently. Adrien whines again and Marinette can’t help but laugh again and realise that, while navigating the territory of having two partners at the same time won’t be easy, the extra support is probably exactly what she needs right now. With her two partners and her two best friends by her side, there’s nothing the five of them can’t do; especially with no more supervillain terrorising Paris and no more attention-seeking teenage girl trying to ruin everyone else’s lives.

It really hadn’t been a good look for either of them after all.

[blackwxtchmccree]

Side to Side (Sugar Daddy!Gabriel Reyes x Reader)

Can also be found on my AO3 >>> here. 

Chapter 1  | Chapter 2

It’s the end of April and I’m talking about Christmas, but it’s because I kinda wish it was Christmas. Also, if it sounds vaguely like I’m venting my personal problems through reader, well, it’s because I am. Regardless, I hope everyone enjoys! -Valk

P.S. I promise there will be smut. Soon. 

Edit: also if you guys want me to start tagging you when I post this series, leave a comment in the notes <3 -Valk

The first gift Gabriel got you was a Tiffany necklace.

He had Jessie slip it into your bag before you flew back the next day with a note attached to the familiar blue box—

An early Christmas present.

I’m going to Aspen for New Years—it’s not required, but you’re welcome to join me if you want to get away from your parents. Feel free to bring your cat with you. Otherwise, I’ll see you next year. -GR

You didn’t notice it until you were unpacking, shooing Mira off of your clothes so you could throw them in the washing machine, hanging the dress you had worn to dinner up in your closet and putting your new heels by the door, eyeing them with a smile. Once you had transferred some of your things to your suitcase and packed extra clothes to take home, you picked the small box up, slipping the ribbon tied around it off and opening it. Inside, a silver, heart-shaped pendant with “Please return to Tiffany and Co. New York” inscribed on the front and a small key sat on a silver chain and you pulled it out gently, letting it dangle and examining it before clasping it behind your neck. You took a picture and sent it to Gabe with a plethora of hearts.

New Years? -GR

Right. You gave the city a quick search, being met with pictures of snowy mountain sides and expensive houses.

I’ve never been to Aspen. Looks… cold. -Y/N

It’s not too bad when you have someone to cuddle with ;) -GR

You snorted, rolling your eyes, thumb hovering over the screen. It was cheesy, but it made you smile.

Alright you’ve convinced me. See you on New Years? -Y/N

Can’t wait. -GR

With that, you set about your room to finish packing, taking the rest of the day to rest and edit a few photos you had been meaning to get to for a while—personal photos of a few of your friends walking through the fresh autumn leaves earlier that year when they had visited. You had forgotten about them, finding them again when you were sifting through old folders looking for family Christmas pictures that your mother needed for the Christmas cards this year.

The last few made you laugh as you scrolled through them, cuddling a cup of tea to your chest, smiling when you got to a picture of Lena—a short, brown haired girl with amber eyes that you had run track and become best friends with in high school—with a leaf smacking her in the face, Lena’s girlfriend Emily laughing at her in the background. You had snapped the picture at just the right moment, having meant to send it to her after you had uploaded them to your laptop back in September, but forgetting once you got swamped with homework and essays. She had gone to flight school to become a pilot instead of going to college like you—you hadn’t talked to her in a few weeks, deciding to restart the conversation by sending her a screenshot of the photo.

Alternatively, the next photo was of Brigitte—your other best friend who had gone to college in a neighboring state to study engineering—diving into a pile of leaves in the center of campus, her freckled pace popping out of the pile in the next photo, a leaf sticking to her nose. It made you snort and you sent that one to her, too. She visited every few weeks, so you saw her more often than Lena, and she was normally the only reason you ever went out, but you missed her all the same. The friends you had made here just weren’t the same as the two of them.

Within a few minutes, they were both requesting to chat and you accepted their video call requests, smiling when they both appeared on your screen.

“Hi you two,” you greeted them, nearly spitting out your tea when they both yelled excited greeting at you.

“I honestly thought you died I hadn’t heard from you in so long,” Lena snorted, adjusting the camera to better enclose her face. “Finals that bad, huh?”

“It’s certainly been a wild week,” you replied with a shrug, turning your head towards Brigitte. “How was it for you?”

“I’ve been running on coffee for almost 48 hours—you know how it is,” she replied, brushing her ginger hair out of her face. “My last final is tomorrow. I’m jealous you get to go home already.”

“Are both of you coming home?”

“I’m flying in bright and early Tuesday morning,” Lena replied, giving you a thumbs up. “I’m going to lunch with Emily, but after that I’m free.”

“I’ll be back tomorrow night,” Brigitte affirmed. “Half dead and ready to crawl into bed, but alive nonetheless.”

“Tuesday night it is then—we can get drinks. I have something to te-,” but Brigitte interrupted you, leaning in closer to her screen as if that would help her see you any clearer.

“That necklace… I know I wouldn’t be able to afford it, meaning you can’t either,” Brigitte said eyeing you suspiciously—just as observant as ever. “Where’d it come from?”

“Oh don’t tell me-,” but you interrupted Lena just as she got excited, your hand flying up to idly run a finger over the pendant, a blush highlighting your cheeks. You didn’t know how to explain it to them—knowing it would probably be easier if you did it in person.

“It’s only… kind of what you think. That’s why I want to see you both.”

They both affirmed your request, settling on a meeting place and time Tuesday night before the conversation drifted to the photos you had sent them among other things. Eventually, you found yourself drifting, reminding them of your plans before signing off, falling asleep with a smile on your face for the first time in a while. You didn’t know how they would take it, but they were your best friends, so you hoped they wouldn’t think any less of you.

You got up a bit earlier than usual the next morning, putting your suitcase and Mira’s carrier with her in it into the backseat before heading home. It was a bit of a drive, but you were there by mid-afternoon, unloading your things and greeting your family. You spent the next day and a half with them, helping your mother decorate the tree and wrap last minute presents, laughing as you watched Mira play among the excess wrapping paper.

You pulled your camera out, taking photos of her as she rolled around like a kitten before moving to take pictures of your mother cooking, snapping a few before she noticed and shooed you away. They may not have approved of you being a photography major, but you were damn good at it. It was also the first time in a long time that you actually enjoyed taking photos again—as if a weight had been lifted off of your chest. You could quit your job—not have to worry about bills and tuition and you could stop taking photos of things you weren’t particularly interested in and finally focus on what you wanted to. You knew you had Reyes to thank, your hand falling to the necklace under your t-shirt, a small smile gracing your lips.

The next night, you met up with Lena and Brigitte, hugging them both tightly outside of the bar you three had chosen. Brigitte had been working out and you complimented her on her physique; Lena hadn’t changed much and was as chipper as ever, dragging you inside and ordering wine for the three of you once you found a table.

“Alright—spill it. We want to know,” Brigitte started, scooting her chair closer to you and leaning in. Lena did the same and you looked between them for a moment before letting out a small sigh.

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell us you found someone,” Lena chastised you, looking up at you with sad brown eyes, pouting.

“It’s not like… that. Not quite, anyway,” you replied sheepishly, taking a deep drink from your glass, realizing more alcohol may make this easier to get through.

“I mean if they’re buying you things it has to be pretty serious, right,” Brigitte asked, tilting her head to the side curiously. “How long have you been together?”

“Four days,” you deadpanned, laughing and nearly spitting out your wine when they both went wide eyed, confusion evident on their faces. “I may have found myself a sugar daddy. But like… a real one—not like a ‘still in business school’ banking executive wannabe.”

“You’re kidding,” Lena murmured, her face unreadable for a moment. Then, a smile broke out on her face she started giggling, looking at Brigitte before turning back to you. “I didn’t take you for one to be into older men, but whatever you floats your boat, love.”

“As long as he takes care of you,” Brigitte affirmed with a nod. “I will say this is the least stressed I’ve ever seen you. Have you met him—like in person?”

You nodded, sitting back in your chair and relaxing a bit, mentally scolding yourself for ever thinking they would have anything other than your best interests at heart. You quickly explained everything that had happened thus far, ordering another round of glasses for the three of you.

“Do your parents know,” Lena asked, knowing it would be just another point of contention between you and your parents.

“No—no one does except you two,” you replied with a shake of your head. “And I need it to stay that way. He’s flying me out to Colorado to spend time with him over New Years and I have no idea what I’m gonna tell my parents.”

“Tell them I invited you to a party on campus because I didn’t want to go alone,” Brigitte offered nonchalantly, sipping at her drink.

“Or tell them I asked you to take pictures at a New Years party I’m hosting,” Lena suggested. “I’ll vouch for you.”

You smiled at them both, forcing down the tears that threatened to spill over, glad you had friends like them to cover and support you.

“Either works. Thank you both.”

You spent the rest of the night talking and laughing with them, even drunkenly singing a few karaoke songs on the stage together, realizing just how much you missed being around them. You finally stumble into your house around 1 am, picking up Mira and carrying her upstairs to your bedroom, texting both Lena and Brigitte to tell them you made it home safely before curling up in bed.

Christmas came and went as it always did—you found little had changed at home, which meant your patience with your parents wore thin after spending just a week at home, becoming tired of their passive aggressive remarks regarding your school work and your social life. When you told them you wouldn’t be home for New Years because you were going to a party, they both looked you, seemingly surprised.

“Going out for once? That’s a nice change,” your mother commented. “Did you finally makes some friends other than Lena and Brigitte? And your roommate doesn’t count.”

“Brigitte goes to a good school. Maybe you’ll find someone better than that deadbeat you dated in high school,” your dad chimed in, making you bite your tongue before you said something stupid. “Oh I meant to ask—how’d your exams go?”

“Fine—as usual,” you replied quietly, trying to keep a scowl off of your face.

“We expected as much—arts classes can’t be that hard,” your mother retorted. “It’s not too late to change your major, you know.”

To something more useful you could hear her thinking. It made you roll your eyes and you didn’t bother replying with anything other than confirmation that you were going with Brigitte and that you were leaving tomorrow. Gabe had actually scheduled your flight for New Years Eve, 2 days from now, but you texted him a few minutes later, asking if he could move it because you couldn’t stand being in your house anymore.

Done. Everything okay? -GR

Parents. I’ll tell you about it when I get there. Can’t wait to see you <3 -Y/N

You relayed which story you chose to Lena and Brigitte in case your parents asked, packing everything in advance that night, leaving before they woke up the next morning, even if it meant you had to sit for an extra hour at the airport. You boarded a smaller plane this time, tucking Mira’s carrier under your seat and settling back. You found that sleep was a little more difficult to find this time—the flight was turbulent and Mira was not pleased. You wanted to pull her out and cuddle her, but you were sure that was looked down upon, so you murmured to her sweetly to comfort her until she fell asleep. Once you landed, you toddled off the plane, vaguely quesy, relieved to be met with bone-chilling air once you stepped outside.

There was more snow on the ground than you had seen in your entire life and more was slowly falling. You shuffled into the small airport to grab your bags, met at the entrance by McCree and Shimada, the cowboy tipping his hat to you.

“Lookin’ a little green around the gills there, darlin’,” Jesse laughed, taking Mira from you as Genji grabbed your bag.

“You could say that,” you replied, brow furrowed. “Evidently I don’t deal very well with turbulence. Neither does she.”

“That’s alright. I don’t either,” McCree replied, opening the back door for you to get in, reaching around to the front seat to grab something, presenting you with a heavy peacoat. “From Reyes—it’s cold and it’s only gonna get colder, so bundle up.” You nodded, taking it gratefully and slipping it on.

Much to your surprise, the drive to the house was no more than 10 minutes from the airport. You looked out the window, watching in astonishment as you passed both houses and snow drifts bigger than you had ever seen before in your life. Turning onto a small street with a cul-de-sac, Jesse pulled into the driveway of a huge, more modern house near the end. You noticed two people standing at the front door and your eyes fell on Gabe standing opposite the couple inside the house, casually conversing with them. Genji opened the door for you, warning you to mind the ice.

“We’ll bring your bags inside and let Mira out to explore if that’s okay,” Shimada informed you and you nodded, thanking them as you headed towards the front entrance. Gabe looked up from the conversation as you approached, the couple he was conversing with turning towards you. ‘Play along’ you saw him mouth at you as you reached the steps that led up to the door, brow furrowing when he chuckled at your slightly taken aback expression.

“You must be Y/N! It’s so nice to finally meet you,” the man, a taller gentleman with dark hair and a mustache, greeted you brightly, extending his hand towards you and shaking it vigorously. The woman next to him, who you presumed was his wife, extended her hand as well, her long, black hair falling over her golden eyes as she greeted you quietly with a soft smile.

“Easy Gerard—she had a long flight,” Gabriel advised, extending a hand towards you as you came up the stairs, smiling when you took it and let him pull you inside. “Y/N—this is Gerard and Amelie. They live next door.”

“Nice to meet you both,” you said with a smile, clinging close to Gabriel’s side anxiously, caught slightly off guard by having been drawn suddenly into the conversation. You felt him rest his hand gently on your side, giving it a comforting squeeze that calmed your racing heart slightly.

“Gabriel has told us a lot about you. Congratulations on your tenure,” Amelie said, giving you a small, respectful nod. “Your dissertation on the influence of Renaissance humanist literature on Reformation ideology sounds intriguing. You’ll have to tell us about it sometime.”

“Gladly. It was a pivotal time in European history—the outcome of which shaped the religious and political landscape of the rest of the western world,” you replied with some degree of certainty, realizing what Gabe had meant when he said ‘play along’ earlier—also mentally thanking yourself for paying attention during your history class that past semester.

“We’ll leave you two be for now and let you get settled,” Gerard said with a finalizing nod towards both you and Gabriel. “See you on a couple of days.”

“Don’t forget that bottle of wine,” Gabriel called after them as they descended the stairs.

“Wouldn’t dream of it!” And with that, Gerard and Amelie disappeared down the driveway and across the street. Gabriel ushered you fully inside after, unwilling to let any more cold air in.

“Wha-what was that,” you asked once he closed the door, turning towards you with a small smile on his face.

“Oh—I told them you were a newly tenured professor at my alma mater—just wanted to see how well you could play along,” Gabriel replied, smirking slightly as he approached you.

“How’d I do?”

“Very well—you handled that nicely,” he replied, resting a hand on your lower back and guiding you through the modestly decorated house. “You’re more capable than you think. You’ll do just fine at the events I take you to.”

“I hope so,” you said hesitantly, looking around as you passed down a short hallway into an open living space. A large living room sat to your left and a kitchen to your right. The back wall was made up of mostly paneless windows facing the huge, snowy mountains in the distance. You drifted over to look through the glass, admiring the view for a moment, awestruck.

You were drawn back out of your head when Reyes approached you, extending a mug of hot chocolate towards you. You took it gratefully, holding it for a moment to let it warm your hands before taking a sip, turning to watch as Gabe returned to the kitchen to grab his coffee, your eyes trailing over his form slowly. You admired the way the maroon t-shirt he wore clung tightly to his chest and arms, outlining the toned muscles that lay underneath. Your eyes fell further, down his muscular abdomen to the black skinny jeans he wore that clung to his strong thighs in all of the right places.

You had only seen him in suits up until now and something about seeing him dressed so casually made you blush, moreso when you realized he had caught you staring just now. He chuckled when you looked away, unable to meet his gaze, your hand flying up to cover your flushed face. That made Gabriel laugh even harder.

“You’re alright, cariña. I’m flattered,” he replied softly, making his way over to you, running an idle hand across your shoulders and down your back, making you shiver, but you found yourself leaning into his touch. “How was your flight?”

“Long. Turbulence made me nauseous and poor Mira didn’t know what to do with herself, but I think we’re alright now,” you replied, finding yourself leaning into his side, searching for his warmth. “Sorry if me coming a day early was an inconvenience. I-I just couldn’t stand being home any longer.”

“Not an inconvenience at all—it’s always almost too quiet here, so I’m glad,” Gabriel replied, taking your jacket as you slipped it off and hanging it in a nearby closet before settling on the plush couch, motioning for you to join him. “What happened with your parents?” You sighed, settling onto the couch next to him, finding it easy to curl up against him, your thumb running idly around the lip of your mug.

“It just seems nothing I do is good enough for them, is all,” you murmured, looking up to meet Gabriel’s gentle gaze. “They said I don’t have enough friends and I don’t go out enough, so I got a job and made new friends and started going to bars with them, but then my school work was suffering because I was always going to class hungover and they yelled at me about my grades, so I started studying more meaning I couldn’t go out as often and they told me I was being too much of a shut-in and so on…”

“Endless cycle, huh?”

“Basically. Now all I want to do is sleep because I’m exhausted all the time from working and studying so much and I don’t have the time or energy to go out anymore, so we’re back to square one,” you murmured, clenching your jaw, fighting back tears. “And I know they hate the major I chose because they don’t think I’m good enough to make it and I know I’ll never make enough money to ever make them think I’m ‘successful’, so sometimes I wonder why I even try anymore.” Your voice broke as tears stained your cheeks, a sob wracking your body.

You hadn’t meant to cry, almost embarrassed, but Gabriel took it in stride, quick to pull you closer, rubbing your back and using a gentle thumb to wipe away your tears.

“You’ve been working so hard, cariña,” he murmured, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. “You can relax now—I’ll take care of what I can for you, just focus on what you need to, regardless of what your parents think.”

“I wish it was that easy,” you sniffled, leaning into his touch as he cupped your cheek, letting your eyes flutter closed.

“Give it time. You can quit your job, you don’t have to worry about your tuition, you can spend more time with your friends and still have time to study,” Reyes murmured in reply, dragging the pad of his thumb gently across your cheek. “You’re so talented and I wish your parents could see what I do.”

“I’m just so tired.”

Those words broke his heart.

“I know,” he whispered, drawing your head against his chest, threading his fingers gently through your hair. “Get some rest for now.”

Being close to him like this was strange, but somehow felt natural and after a moment you realized you didn’t want to move away, finding yourself tucking your head further against his chest, the steady sound of his heartbeat lulling you to sleep, the subsequent nap you took making up for the sleep you missed this morning.

[syllvane]

the first time the bau team says ‘i love you’

a/n: heyyyy, so i posted this earlier but due to me rushing in posting it, the formatting was a bit messed up but like it’s cool now. hope you enjoy!

warning(s): mentions of alcohol, references to divorce, and an unspecified injury. that’s all i see atm but ask to tag if i missed anything!!

aaron hotchner: honestly he doesn’t even really notice when he says it, he says it like it’s the most normal thing one day in the morning when he says goodbye to you before he goes on a case and it takes him a good five minutes to realize that he’s just told you that he loves you. would call before getting on the jet to talk with you and he just dances around the subject of what he has said to you for the entire phone call but right at the end, you tell him that you love him too and he actually blushes but quickly hides it so his team doesn’t know what’s up. of course they figure out because they are a team of highly trained profilers but that’s beyond the point.

david rossi: look. after his three divorces, he is a little skeptical that he can ever find love again. he doesn’t even know if love exists or if it is all one big lie. of course, then he meets you. he meets you and after awhile, you start dating. and he feels kinda warm and fuzzy after you’ve been together for almost a year, like in a way he never really felt with his past wives. the whole team knows what’s up with him but he just refuses to admit it? he refuses to admit he could find love? and so it’s one night after dinner and you two are just lounging on the couch and he looks at you and smiles and his eyes are shining- he has had too much to drink but right now he doesn’t care and he just says ‘i love you’ because it’s true. you smile and return the words, in the morning he tries to pretend like he doesn’t remember but he does, but acknowledging it makes it real.

derek morgan: so before you two even date, your relationship is just naturally flirty. this is, of course, frustrating because how are you supposed to let him know that you actually like him? and sure, the flirting may have started out as friendly but it is definitely not friendly now, it’s something more. on the flip side, he feels the same way. it’s only after a particularly rough case that you both head to the bar together. it’s too rough of a case to drink alone tonight, it’s better that you two “are together. you two don’t really talk about serious things outside of work- the job is tough enough, no need to add to that. the conversation is lighthearted mostly until you two are some of the only patrons left in the bar- you both are somewhat sober by now, you both switched over to club sodas hours ago. derek is falling asleep at the bar and so you (using all of your strength) somehow manage to support his weight enough to get a cab and get him to his place and safely in his room. when you’re leaving, you hear him say ‘i love you’ softly. the next day at work he asks you out.

emily prentiss: kind of similar to derek, it’s after a really rough case- cases involving children are always rough. you both have been dating for awhile and you live together and so she walks in to the apartment and you’re somewhat awake on the couch. you stand up when she enters the apartment though and you watch as she drops her go bag and just walks over to you, exhausted. you both hug each other tightly and she just kind of stays in your arms? god, she knows there are so many bad people out there. there are so many cruel and awful human beings out there and it seems like as soon as one is gone, another one pops up. and then there is you, the exact opposite of the people she deals with in her work. the light and love of her life. and she loves you so much. she truly does, so when it’s a night like tonight, and there is nothing she can do but let you hold her for awhile, that’s when she says ‘i love you’. you say that you love her just as much, more even. she says that’s impossible and when you look at her, even though it’s been a rough day, she smiled slightly. and that in itself is worth losing this one to her.

jj: it’s early in the morning and both of you are still lying on bed, jj is awake and you are somewhat awake. jj is about to leave for work and you’re just sort of gazing at her sleepily. and she pauses before she’s about to leave your bedroom and looks back at you, smiling a little bit. you sit up a little bit and you get up and walk over to her and hug her gently and she hugs you back. she pulls away eventually and kisses your forehead. she whispers i love you quietly but you can tell she means it. she truly does. she promises to come home safely and she looks back at you one last time before she leaves for the case.

penelope garcia: after you get injured on a case and the team gets home, she is actually 100% ready to take care of you. you two are already dating and actually insists on making sure you at okay and comfortable and since you wouldn’t be able to go on any cases after you get hurt, she lets you hang out with her while she gets information. one day though, instead of reporting to her, you may have decided to take a commercial flight to the place where the team is, even though you weren’t cleared for flying. the whole team is worried about you until penelope checks your credit card history to see where you were heading. everyone is mad that you are working the case even when the doctor said you shouldn’t even be back at work yet. the case is closed after half a week of you being there (although you are not allowed to leave the station and can only help from inside there). morgan drives you two home while the rest of the team takes the jet. when you get back, you are confronted by a very angry penelope, who, after scolding you, asks you why you left in the first place. you admit that you feel somewhat useless to the team if you aren’t out there, working the case. you say that she’s amazing at her job- she is literally the goddess of computers and she is such a valuable asset to the team but you aren’t doing anything useful from in here. she nods and tells you that she loves you and that she cares about you and that you better not pull something like that again while you’re supposed to be in bed rest.

spencer reid: it’s after a near death experience and this time he really thought he was in for it and he is shaken up pretty bad. as soon as he gets out of the hospital, he is at your apartment and when you open it, you just throw your arms around him because god he’s alive and that’s all that matters these days. he’s crying though, he’s still scared. he still remembers the feeling of dread that this was it, he was never going to see his mom again, he was never going to see his team again, he was never going to see you again. and you just tell him that you’re here. you don’t know what’s happened this time but you do know that he’ll never tell you, he will never tell you about the horrors he has faced because he doesn’t want you to know, he wants to protect you. he thought that he would never get to see you again but he’s here and you’re here and you’re both okay. he is still crying and somehow it had just occured to him that he had never said i love you to you and if he died without you knowing that he loved you… well he’d rather not think about that. so he says it and you say it too. it’s going to be a long night but you’ll both be together.

[theragamuffininitiative]

Last Days of Summer @KCRep

Well this has been long in coming

Guys.

I saw Last Days of Summer with Corey Cott and Emily Padgett and it was amazing and now I’m here a week and a day late to talk your ear off about it. ;)

I went with my favorite cousin (shhh don’t tell the other cousins) to see the show because she likes theatre too but her family doesn’t care so they never see things.

She knew I was a fan of one of the cast, and I did my level best not to fangirl too hard and I think it was an all around success. :D

This was yet another exercise in the “how far will Rags drive across the country to see a show if it is at all a possibility to do so” which I think is going to drive my parents insane.

When we got there, I did what I forgot to do at The Lion King and asked if it was ok to take pictures of the curtain call. Unfortunately, because of copyright reasons with Jason Sherwood’s set design, pictures were not allowed. :P But now at least I think I’ll remember to ask the ushers at shows, because curtain calls are my favorite thing and someday I will get pictures at them.

I’m not going to spoil the story for anyone who may want to read the book the musical is based off of, or just in case it gets produced again. (please please please) But if you’re curious, there’s this.

We went the last night because I couldn’t get away sooner. I would have loved to see the first show and then seen the closing show because I know they did a lot of changes, but I’m really happy with the version we saw.

It opened with a radio suspended on a wire, and the crackling voice of a baseball announcer set the narrative into motion. The radio was one of my favorite parts of the production, it was a great storytelling technique.

Robbie Berson as young Joey Margolis was amazing. All the kids in the cast were, but as the main protagonist....antagonist? hm, anyways, the main character, he carried the story the whole time in a great way, always believable as an incorrigible kid and strong enough to dig into the deeper parts of the story.

Jim Kaplan as Craig Nakamura was also amazing, and I love the character of sweet but feisty Craig so much.

These two boys, honestly, they were such pros.

And what can I say about Corey and Emily? They are stars, obviously, and I loved every second they were on stage, together or separate.

The end of Act One features a pretty big blow up between Joey and Corey’s Charlie, where Joey allows his emotions to get the better of him and turns on Craig. Charlie scolds him and tells him he has no choice about growing up and gives him a thing or two about being a man. Honestly, that act one closer was pretty great, but it also gave two of my favorite moments of the show:

1) When Charlie gets fed up with Joey’s selfish behavior, Corey bellowed “sit down!” and one older audience member audibly went “whoa” XD XD XD.

2) in the song that follows (”Says Who? Says I”), there was a moment where - for lack of a better description and realizing it’s a pun considering what team Charlie Banks plays on - Corey became a giant on that stage. For most of the production, all the players were equals. Kids and adults and ensemble members alike, they complimented each other and no one outshone anyone else. But near the end of the song, and probably on purpose for the story, Charlie/Corey towered above everything else as he belted out lines that were equally self-deprecating and proud about who Charley and Joey should be. I was in awe. It was a great moment.

Emily’s disguised yet still noticeable baby bump made for some fourth-wall-breaking humorous moments for the audience, considering her starlet character and lead romantic interest persona. But it was all good. XD

I. am. seriously. in. love. with. that. staging. I could talk about the sets all day.

Jeff Calhoun’s directing. Can I get an amen.

Jim/Craig’s performance of “We Always Had a Garden” is honestly the part I got the most emotional over, and he sang it like an angel, I was very wow.

I need the album.

Chris Dwan as Stuke was great. I started to get worried about Stuke’s mortality when he went from “occasional comic relief” to “goofy tag-along friend” and, well, I was right. But he was great and he had this fantastic little random dance number (”This Time It’s For Real”) while singing about his latest crush. It was precious. XD

There was, as the review I linked to said, a lot crammed into this little show. Like, a lot of a lot. The first act balanced everything pretty well, the second act was a little stuffed.

One of the big climactic moments in act two felt very rushed, and one of those “we’re just going to assume the audience gets what we mean” and the audience gets it but isn’t allowed any time to appreciate it. I’d like to see that done a little differently, but I completely chalk it up to there just being such a wealth of plot to deal with in those final scenes and numbers.

Speaking of numbers, if you want a taste of some of the music aside from that one clip with Robbie and Jim, Corey performed some of the songs with some cast members at his concert that week:

“You Never Have to Say Goodbye” - cue tears

“No One Else For Me” - sweeeeet

I love Big Band music so much. Jason Howland for the win.

“That’ll Be You and Me” is sort of a bonding moment for Joey and Charlie and it reminded me a lot of the character dynamic between Zach and Henry in Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium, one of my favorite movies.

The wedding scene was hysterical. You’re just gonna have to take my word for it, but the blocking on it was perfect and the characters played tug-of-war across the stage trying to get Charlie to board his train on time and keep the rabbi from passing out as he flew through the “ceremony.” XD The Rabbi was a good character. Give Gary Neal Johnson a hand.

I did not cry. There were moments. But I didn’t. XD

Everybody kept swearing and then the boys would make “can we say that word” jokes, like in the middle of a song, when you knew what they were going to say because it rhymed, and I’m old fashioned but it was also great. XD

There’s an earlier scene where the baseball team is helping Joey memorize his answers for his Bar Mitzvah (”The Only Way to Score”) and it was both funny and precious as everyone except Joey learns all the Hebrew answers.

“Just Like Us” and its reprises kept the show solidly focused on Joey, and his buddy Craig.

I wanted to give both Joey and Charlie all the hugs.

I whooped for the orchestra at bows. I’m always like the only person who does that at a show, but I appreciate the orchestras so much, it’s just my thing now: I whoop loudly in support of the pit musicians, deal with it everybody.

My cousin enjoyed it :D :D :D

Standing ovation, btw, of course.

Okay, so, after the show:

We stuck around with a group of peeps to stagedoor. Folks, this is the first time I successfully stagedoored something lol.

Corey was the first person to come out, and... - poor guy. XD He was booking it, making a very determined beeline for the exit. If I was left to my own, I would have let him go, but the guy in front of me stopped him so I got up my courage. He was polite and kind to us, but you could tell he just wanted to go home. (and afterward he ended up apparently getting delayed like seven hours trying to get back home to the city, so I don’t blame him at all) So he signed a couple posters and playbills, and then as he was walking away I stepped forward and asked if I could get his autograph. He was like “yeah, ok” and then, rather than giving him the playbill, I pulled out my Bandstand album jacket. :D :D :D Guys, he lit up, it was the cutest and happiest thing. He went from “ok sure” to “awwww yeaaaaah!” and signed it like six times because my marker wasn’t working properly lol, and then was like “um that’s gonna have to be good enough” even though I told him the first time was ok. XD

So then everyone else started to come out, and I got a lot of the cast to sign my playbill, including all the main kids, Emily, and most of the baseball players - who were the coolest about doing autographs so bless you dudes. Young Jim somehow has the neatest signature.

And then we went home! XD

As usual, I am certain I am forgetting all the things, but there we are. I only wish I could have gone twice. I would love to have gone earlier so I could tell everyone to go see it. But I’m reasonably sure it will get more productions, so be on the look out for it! :D

[vortexofentertainment]

37!

37: Welcome to fatherhood

Beca was nervous. She had never been home alone with the baby before. Chloe was always with her. They had created a sort of tag team routine that worked well with little Asher. 

Chloe would get up with him in the early hours of the morning to feed him while Beca slept. They found out quickly that Beca was not much help if she woke up before 9 a.m. 

Beca, on the other hand, would do that late night shifts while Chloe tried to get some sleep before it all started over again. She couldn’t sleep for too long because she had to pump, which seemed a little ridiculous in Beca’s opinion. 

But now, five weeks after their son was born, Chloe was having to do some kind of veterinarian workshop thing (or that’s how she attempted to explain it to Beca), leaving Beca with Asher all day by herself. 

“Are you sure Aubrey can’t come over or something?” Beca asked as Chloe paced the floor with Asher in her arms.

“You’re really that desperate?” Chloe asked with a slight chuckle.

“Yes,” Beca answered honestly. Her and Aubrey were friends, yeah, but she and Chloe both knew that if Beca was asking for Aubrey’s help, she was scared shitless.

“Babe, you’re going to do fine. You’ve been taking care of him for weeks now.”

“Yeah, with your help!” Beca argued. 

Chloe was putting everything that Beca would need into a bag. That way, all she’d have to do is search there instead of running around the house in a panic.

“What about when I’m asleep?” Chloe asked, really thinking that point would snap Beca out of this silly fear.

“You’re still right there in case something were to happen.”

Chloe sighed while shaking her head and looking down at Asher. “Mama is being a bit dramatic,” she said to her son.

Beca stopped following Chloe, standing still in her tracks with an offended look on her face. 

“I am not!” she said with a stomp of her foot.

“Oh, please,” Chloe laughed. The sight of Beca’s little tantrum (thus proving Chloe’s point) was too good to pass up. She reached into her pocket with her free hand and pulled out her phone. “Please do that again,” she giggled. Tears were starting to form in her eyes from laughing.

“Fuck you, dude,” Beca said with her hands still balled into fists at her side. 

“Becs…” Chloe warned, taking a step closer so they were face to face. 

“I know, I know, a dollar in the swear jar,” Beca rolled her eyes. “Seriously, Chloe… what if I mess up? What if I do something wrong and it affects him for the rest of his life? What if I forget to-”

Chloe leaned forward and pressed her lips to Beca’s gently. Beca’s eyes fluttered a bit before closing and kissing her wife back. This was her favorite way Chloe tended to shut her up.

“You’re going to do fine,” Chloe said quietly when she pulled away. 

She handed Asher over to Beca and then kissed her forehead once more.

“Do you think I would leave our son with anyone, including you if I wasn’t one hundred percent sure they could handle it?”

“I guess not…” Beca answered, looking down at the brown haired, blue eyed little boy that had her heart. 

Chloe leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Asher’s nose. “I love you, little guy, be good for Mama.” 

~~

“He won’t stop crying, Chlo,” Beca said as she left yet another voicemail for her wife. “I’ve fed him, he doesn’t need changing, he won’t take his pacifier. I’m freaking out dude, call me back please.” 

She hung up the phone and dropped it on the counter where everything Chloe had packed was now strewn about. She was bouncing up and down gently, trying to get Asher to just take a fucking breath. 

He had been screaming for close to an hour now. He had never done that before. Beca had fed him and that backfired when he blew out of a diaper. She was pretty sure some of the content was still on her clothes somewhere. 

Her hair had gone from looking pretty decent this morning to an absolute mess of a bun on top of her head. Her clothes were ruined, her arms were aching, and her back was starting to give. Chloe had only been gone for five hours. How had so much gone so wrong in five hours?

She had even tried calling Aubrey, but Beca was pretty sure Chloe had told her blonde headed best friend not to answer. 

A knock on the door sent a wave of relief through Beac. Someone was here. She didn’t know who it was, but it was someone. 

She rushed to the door and flung it open. Her earlier relief disappeared and she filled with dread instead.

“What’s up, short-stack?” Fat Amy asked as she pushed her way into the house past Beca and the still screaming Asher.

“What are you doing here, Amy?” Beca asked, closing the door behind her. 

“I received a very concerning call from Flo,” Amy explained in a very serious manner. “She received a call from Jessica, who received a call from Ashely, who received a call from Emily, who received a call from Stacie, who received a call from Aubrey, who received a very concerning call from none other than your wife.”

“Jesus,” Beca exhaled. 

“I’m not supposed to be here. You’re supposed to be learning to do this on your own or whatever, but I couldn’t leave my best pal in trouble.”

Beca almost, almost, broke down in tears from the overwhelming amount of gratitude she felt towards her friend at the moment. She would have to remember to be mad at Chloe when she got home for 1.) not helping and 2.) calling Aubrey in the first place.

“He won’t stop crying,” Beca whined as she looked down at Asher. “He’s been fed, he’s been changed, he won’t sleep… I don’t know what else to do.”

“Hand him over and go take a shower,” Amy said holding her hands out expectantly. Beca hesitated, studying her friend she was pretty sure had never held a baby before. “You smell like a petting zoo. That’s probably why he’s crying.”

Beca looked down at the state of her clothes but then shook her head, a new sense of determination filling her. Deep down it kind of hurt that Chloe was worried about her. She knew she was freaking out, but Chloe’s faith in her was what usually kept her going. 

“No, no way. He’s my son. I can do this,” she said with a nod. 

“Yeah, you can!” Amy said encouragingly. 

Beca wracked her brain for anything she may be forgetting. She closed her eyes tightly, rolling her head from side to side like she does when she’s working on a project. 

“Right now I’m in a state of mind,” Beca started to sing. “I want to be in, like, all the time. Ain’t got no tears left to cry. So I’m pickin’ it up, pickin’ it up. I’m lovin’, I’m livin’, I’m pickin’ it up. I’m pickin’ it up, I’m pickin’ it up. I’m lovin’, I’m livin’, I’m picking it up,”

“Oh yeah,” Amy joined in.

“I’m pickin’ it up,”

“Yeah,”

“Pickin’ it up,”

“Yeah,”

“Lovin’, I’m livin’ so we turnin’ up. Yeah, we turnin’ it up.”

Beca continued to sing and miraculously, around the second verse, Asher was quiet. His eyelids started to droop slowly as she sang her way into his nursery. She laid him down in his crib, finishing out the song with Amy behind her singing just a gently. 

The two backed out of the nursery quietly and made their way back to the living room. Beca collapsed onto the couch, thankful to finally be able to sit, and exhaled loudly. 

“I’m exhausted dude,” she said finally as she let her eyes close. “As far as Chloe knows, this all went great.” 

“Welcome to fatherhood,” Amy said, plopping down on the couch beside her. 

Beca let her head roll to the side and looked at her friend. She would never understand Amy or her comments, but she had never been more thankful for her that she was in that moment. 

**This is how I picture Beca looking at Fat Amy after that comment**

[canaryatlaw]

so I just watched a video that made me cry a lot so I’m feeling very emotional at the moment but it’s getting late so I should probably start writing this post. today was pretty good. I was a lazy ass again and didn’t get up for the actual church service and only went for my shift in the babies room, even when I knew I would regret it and I can sleep in literally any other day....my body likes sleep and it’s very hard to argue with. so I reset my alarm and came in for the babies room in the last service. it went pretty well, initially it was just two of us but about halfway through two younger girls came over and asked if they could help so I said sure so that was good. we only ended up with 5 babies, and the littlest one (8 months) ended up falling asleep pretty soon after arriving and remained asleep the rest of the time so that was good. everyone else was fairly well-behaved, we had one boy who was in and out of tears for a lot of it and we ended up texting his mom towards the end of the service because it was getting to the point where parents generally want us to notify them. I had on little girl for most of the time, her mom was kinda hesitant and was like “she may not stay the whole time, just text me if she’s crying too much” and she started like wailing in the beginning but fortunately I was able to get her to calm down fairly quickly and from then on she just clung to me the whole time lol until towards the end. so overall not bad. The CTA was being uncooperative on my way home but I managed, and met up with Jess to grab some food, we went to the vegetarian place and got our usuals, the waiter initially forgot the whipped cream when he brought my scone out so then he returned with the whipped cream like around the entire plate lol so that was amusing. After we finished we went back to my place and watched Venom, which OH BOY, that was something. I knew it was gonna be kind of crazy/bad from what I’ve heard from people, but this movie truly went above and beyond. we were honestly losing our shit laughing pretty much the entire time, it was a much more effective comedy than a drama despite desperately trying for the latter. I felt like it was basically like someone took that vine where it’s like “what do you want to eat?” and in a demon voice it’s like “the souls of the innocent” but the guy is like “a bagel” and the demon is like “noooo!” and he’s like “two bagels!” and just made that vine into an entire movie and fucking Venom’s like “you’re making us look bad!” like I felt like I was watching two people stuck in a horse costume with the person in the back getting mad at the person in the front, because it was really that ridiculous. so yeah, definitely good for a laugh at least. Once we finished the movie we ran to the grocery store around the corner (yes I live around the corner from the grocery store and I still get my groceries delivered because I’m a lazy ass) to obtain milk because that’s the only missing ingredient we had for our pancake plans. We had initially planned on making banana pancakes because I somehow ended with with a few bananas from my last grocery order that I needed to use and I don’t really like eating bananas plain. but then of course Brandon posted on his instagram story about making an apple pancake so of course we had to do that as well. Sometime around then I got a text from the guy from the other night basically being like “so I think I’m going to end up taking that job offer [that was an hour further north from where he was currently living] and if that’s a dealbreaker I totally understand” and I was like okay well this is clearly my way out but I’m not sure how to say it so I legit just let Jess type the message and then approved it before sending it. so that’s that basically, it was a lot less painful than I feared, so I am very happy about that. Got back from the store and started with the apple pancakes, it was actual an apple german oven pancake otherwise known as a dutch baby which I’ve made many times before so I kinda knew what I was doing there. It came out pretty good, so we moved onto the banana pancakes, which we were going for the whole gluten-free thing (because Brandon) with this recipe that’s supposed to make pancakes out of banana and eggs as the only ingredient, so we had to test this. The batter came together pretty easily, but cooking them turned out to be a bit of trial and error, first they were browning too quickly before they were strong enough to be flipped so the first few ended up a little burned and then I broke one or two trying to flip them before they burned, but in the end we ended up with some good ones. of course at this point we were full from apple pancake lol so we’re gonna save those for another time (probably tomorrow). The initial plan was to watch Infinity War this weekend but at this point we both really wanted to watch the three episodes of Young Justice season three that just dropped so we did that instead. Wow, lots of feelings there. I wasn't totally sure of what the whole conflict in the actual justice league was about, something about too many regulations put in by the UN? weird. and then there was the whole meta-human trafficking plot and I was definitely like oh this is definitely the prince who wasn’t going to become king being the bad guy but it ended up being his uncle so that was a good twist. but yeah, overall I liked them a lot and am looking forward to the rest of the season. once we finished that Jess headed home and I turned on the golden globes just because Andy Samberg was one of the hosts and he’s great, and I ended up tuning in just in time to see Darren Criss win a golden globe, which was great because I still love him from his Team Starkid days and felt very proud of him. the rest of the show was alright, I hadn’t seen most of the movies/tv shows nominated so I didn’t feel all that invested in the awards (I mean, I can’t really say this for sure because I didn’t really watch any of the other movies nominated, but Emily Blunt’s performance in Mary Poppins Returns was absolutely astounding and she definitely deserved a golden globe for it). After it ended I let the news play for a bit which was mostly just about how the Bears (Chicago football team) lost in like literally the last seconds of their playoff game, so many people were sad about that of course. After a while I just shut it off, and I was going to start getting ready for bed but then kitty plopped herself down in my lap and I was like welp I can’t leave now and that’s why the two posts of kitties I reblogged earlier were not tagged with “KITTY” because my hands were otherwise occupied petting my kitty, lol. But after a while she got up and I then started getting ready for bed and here we are. So yeah, pretty good day. Tomorrow I have to go to the allergist again for testing since they couldn’t do it last time because I had to be off two of my meds for a few days beforehand so it doesn’t interfere with the results. And yeah, I think that’s it for now. Goodnight my babes. Hope your Sunday was lovely as well.