#((hey i'm back! finals are over and first year of college is over!))
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FIRST | PREVIOUS | NEXT CH 1 PG 36
Infested will return on June 27th. --- Thank you to the following Ascended supporters: @chaogongoozles, @fiiresiidefrfr, @elizard4227, @grogar, Ezzoh, @susivoi, @calculuscacophony, Eros, @ivycorp, @summersdale @borrelia, @mizukiz, @sanicdetails, @combinegrunt-echo-1, Pica, @veeceear, @quackenburt, ItsmeMonarch, @memendoemori, @trans-girl-sonic, & savarsenic
Content Warnings | Store | Ko-Fi (Discord!) | Read On Comic Fury! DISCLAIMER: "Infested" is a horror comic ft. content not suitable for those under the age of 17.
A long-winded looking back on things below the cut:
The first few pages of Infested were uploaded to this blog on March 2nd, 2023 -- Over a whole year ago! I was so busy, too, that I completely missed its birthday (Sorry Infested). Looking even further back than that, the original story was was something I began writing on December 25th, 2022 (Merry Christmas).
It took two years to get to this point.
And hey, not to toot my own horn about it, but completing even one chapter of a webcomic is a big deal. Especially for me. My first webcomic, Fight/Flight, didn't get very far. I completed the prologue, started Chapter 1, and then had to drop it for a number of reasons (I didn't really agree with what baby-me had to say, politically, anymore).
This comic was born from a lot of intense feelings. The story, itself, too. Some good. Some bad.
I had been forced to move away from my hometown, and with that move, I lost the physical connection that I had to all of my friends. I lost the familiarity of a place I'd known for most of my life. I'm now stuck somewhere... Worse. It felt like a cage. Still does. Disconnected from the life I thought I would be living after college. I didn't have health insurance, either -- Got kicked off of it because of the move -- And as a result, I was off my antidepressants.
So there I was, at a pretty low point in my life. I miserable and lonely and every single day dragged on. And on. And on. And I felt so disappointed in myself. That disappointment became self-loathing, and it all kinda spiraled.
Have I mentioned that I'm a huge Sonic fan? I don't think I need to. I'd say it's pretty obvious. But for the sake of this story, I'll say it again: I'm a HUGE Sonic fan. I've been that way since 2003 with Sonic Heroes. The franchise has been in my life for over two decades. I had a monthly mail subscription to Archie's Sonic the Hedgehog. Sonic the Hedgehog was something that I truly loved more than any other piece of media. It brought me endless joy. Until I didn't.
I had dropped Sonic after Lost World was... Itself. I had already felt pretty irritated with the Meta Era, and Lost World was the final straw. The last bit of hope that the series could recover was snuffed out when Forces was released. It was over. I was done. If Sonic was truly that embarrassed by itself, if they had truly lost touch with what made the series so great, then I wouldn't waste my time any longer. I was so sure that I had to just... Grieve and move on. My beloved childhood game series was dead. Long live the king or whatever. I'd just bitterly read IDW Sonic and think about what could've been. I was lucky to have that comic, at least. Archie had been canceled, too, after all. I was lucky to have my scraps.
Then Sonic Frontiers came out. And it changed everything.
And my god, it was everything. It was everything to me. Flaws be damned, it was everything. To. Me. The spectacle. The serious tone. The vastly improved writing. Kellin Fucking Quinn. It was FUN! It was actually FUN to PLAY. He was back. I was back. Sonic pulled me by my hand out of the ocean of misery I'd fallen into, and he looked me in my eye and he said;
"Hey. You're gonna be alright."
Metaphorically speaking. Sonic The Hedgehog didn't actually literally speak to me -- And sure, okay, maybe it's a little dramatic to describe a game as this great Depression Annihilator but I'm dead serious when I say that, for that time, before I was able to get back on my meds, I was self-medicating with Sonic.
Sonic was all I was thinking about. I reread the Unleashed arc in Archie Sonic, which got me sorta realizing something, and which led to my post where I said something along the lines of "Sonic would hide a zombie bite."
Archie Sonic would, at least. Because he basically did do that in the Unleashed arc of that comic. He let that problem fester until it became an even bigger problem because, ironically, he didn't want to be a problem.
So one thing led to another. I thought more about Sonic becoming a zombie. Bada-bing, bada-boom, Infested was born.
I didn't expect it to get the attention that it did. I felt lucky when the first page I drew Rouge on (Page 6 I think?) blew up. The right people saw it at the right time. I'm extremely grateful for that.
I'm extremely grateful for all of you.
So yeah, one chapter. Woo! Here's to many more.
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Rafe x Sleepy! Reader where he freaks out that she’s not answering her Phone and thinks The worst scenario that she’s sick of him, cheating etc. But It gets better when she calls him while he’s with The boys and she’s in her pj’s telling him she just woke up and asking what happened that made him call so many times 🥹
Sleepy baby
As requested above
Warnings - insecurities, toxic thoughts, drug use, drinking, and mentions of sex. Ending fluff.
*×*×*×*×*×*×*×*×*×*×*×*×*×*×*×*×*×*×*×*×*
16 hours ago, you posted to your insta story. 16 hours since you'd been laughing, smiling, singing, and dancing into the camera. Music pumping and disco lights blazing as you partied into the night.
You looked so happy, surrounded by your college friends. Some he knew, and some he didn't. He wished he could have been there with you. Long distance was slowly killing him, he was sure of it.
Although he'd been uneasy about you going so far away, things had been working out. He visited as often as he could, and you came home for the holidays. But it was moments like this when he started to doubt it all. His mind would spiral.
At first, he thought there was a reasonable explanation for you not texting him when you made it home and for not responding to his messages. You were probably to tired and drunk, simply forgotten.
But as the hours ticked by and multiple messages and phone calls later, his mind began to wander to darker places. You didn't need him anymore. You had finally realised it. You had found someone else. Someone else had found you.
You were a college student, you didn't need some hometown boyfriend dragging you down, you had finally decided to live your best life. Without him. Party, sex and drugs.
Well, two could play at that game. The moment Topper had told him about a party happening, he immediately said he would go. Fuck it, he was still the Kook King, he knew how to party, how to have any person he wanted.
The problem was that you were the only person he wanted. After a few drinks, he found himself where he normally ended up at parties. Sat with his boys, Topper, Kelce, and Barry, nursing a beer, smoking a blunt, doing a few lines, and glazing into the fire pit as the sky of endless stars shone above them.
"Bro, that's like the billionth time you checked your phone." Topper pointed out as Rafe pulled his phone out of his shorts pocket again.
"What's up, Little Miss Havard ghosting you?" Barry teased as he through arm an over Rafe's shoulders.
"Fuck off" Rafe tried to shake his arm off before sighing as looked at his phone again.
All that stared back at him was you as his lock screen and a couple of notifications, but none from you.
"Oh, shit. You really think she is?" Barry's smirk dropped, suddenly noticing his friend genuinely down about something.
"She's probably just busy," Kelce tried to reassure him. "You know with essays and shit. I mean, I have a shit ton, and that's just online"
Out of everyone in their little friend circle, you were the only one who moved the furthest away. Topper was on a gap year, Kelce was doing online courses, Barry was dealing, and Rafe had to follow in Ward's footsteps. A few of your friends did gap years.
Rafe nodded slowly. "What if, what if she's do -" He didn't finish his sentence as his phone screen suddenly lit up. 'FACETIME - Baby 😍 💍'
He nearly dropped his phone in the panic of answering it. For a spilt second, he thought about letting it ring out of spite. You'd not answered any of his. But he couldn't do it, for all the spiralling his mind had been doing. He needed to talk to you.
"Rafe, hey, you ok?" You looked so sleepy as you rubbed your eye. "I'm so sorry, I've been asleep all day"
If he could have jumped into the screen and kissed you in that moment, he would have. You looked so adorable, hair in a mess, no makeup, clearly sat in your dorm room bed as he recognised the bed sheets and the tapestry on the wall behind you.
What made his heart warm the most was that you were in one of his t-shirts. One of many you had borrowed/stolen.
He knew he was smiling at his screen like a complete goof. But he didn't care.
"Where are you?" You asked, trying to work out the noises around him and odd lighting of the fire pit. "Why did you call so much? Everything ok?" You asked, concerned.
"Everything's good, baby," He smiled. "Just at a party with the boys." He turned the phone around to show them
"God, Rafe, no don-" Too late, there you was in all you sleepiness. Proudly held up on his phone screen.
"Mrs Country Club!" Barry greeted as the others said "yo" and "hey"
You awkwardly waved and smiled as your cheeks burned before Rafe turned the phone back him.
"Well, I better not keep you from the party. As long as everything is ok?" You could tell something wasn't quite right, but didn't push it. He'd tell you in his own time. He always did.
"Everything is fine, my sleepy baby." He smiled, not giving a shit if the others heard.
"Alright, see you this weekend? Facetime tomorrow?" You smiled as he nodded before saying I love yous.
"Aww, my sleepy baby. Sleepy bab-" Barry teased before Rafe pushed him. Causing his chair to topple backwards onto the grass. Making everyone who witnessed laugh.
He glanced at his phone one last time, seeing you smiling face on his lock screen and new message 'Baby 😍💍 - I really do love you ❤️😘'
#rafe cameron#outer banks rafe#outerbanks#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron x reader#rafe x reader#rafe cameron fluff#rafe cameron fanfiction#outerbanks fic#rafe cameron fic
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Title: The Boy Next Door
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Rating: E
Tags: 18+ explicit smut, childhood friends, neighbors, pining, confessions, friends to lovers, first crush
Summary: Growing up, you always had a crush on the boy next door. Now, twelve years later, you might unexpectedly get your chance with Bucky Barnes.
[ao3 link]
Your parents just handed over the house you grew up in. It was that easy, now it's yours.
They want to be those typical, retired parents and move to Florida — boring! And since you've been renting a studio in Brooklyn for the past four years, you jumped at the chance to have a three-bedroom house in upstate New York. It's already paid off and your parents are wealthy enough, they don't need the earnings for their Florida condo.
You've only been back to your childhood home for holidays in the past few years. Everything has stayed the same, your parents were actually one of the few who didn't turn their daughter's bedroom into a home office or gym. They left the pink wallpaper, the twin bed with the floral comforter, and the tower of stuffed animals on the dresser.
When you arrive with your two suitcases and some extra cash in your pocket since you sold all your studio furniture, you stare up at the house. You smile from the warm memories before you glance over at the house next door.
An older boy named James lived there, but he always went by Bucky. Bucky Barnes is the name that lived in your diary for most of your adolescence. He was four years older than you which meant you had an embarrassing crush on him since you were twelve. He was nice, he always teased you when you saw each other, he even acknowledged your existence for the one year you were both in high school together — you as a freshman and him a senior.
That did wonders for your reputation, you became pretty popular even after he graduated. Still, you would've thrown away all the friends and parties for just one night with Bucky if that was a possibility.
You're not sure you ever got over your crush, more just accepted that it was never going to happen and moved on with your life. It was easy once he went away from college and three years later so did you. You never ran into him again even when you were visiting home for the holidays. It seems the Barnes' residence spent their holidays elsewhere as the house was always dark on those occasions.
Currently, it's two in the afternoon and the sun is beating down so strongly, you start to take off your jean jacket. You're sliding your arms out of the sleeves when a familiar voice makes you jump.
"Hey, y/n."
Your arms flap uncoordinatedly, still half in the jacket, pausing in an awkward position as you turn to see your childhood crush standing a few feet away from you. Bucky Barnes, looking sexier than ever.
"Oh, hi,” you splutter.
This man still has the ability to make you blush like a schoolgirl. You do some quick mental math and realize if you’re 27 now then he must be 31. And why do men age so spectacularly? He has somehow managed to become even more attractive in the last twelve years.
"What're you doing here?" you ask as you finally free your arms from the jacket.
"I'm house-sitting," Bucky explains. "What're you doing here?"
"Um, well, the house is sorta mine now."
"Parents gave you the whole thing?"
"Yep, the whole thing," you nod.
"Wow, congrats on the house," Bucky says.
"Thank you," you reply and you both stare at each other in a beat of silence.
"Um actually, since you're around, do you think I could pay you for some manual labor?" you ask suddenly.
"What kind?" Bucky grins fast. It truly takes your breath away, jesus this man should not be allowed to smile.
"I have a dumpster coming tomorrow morning," you explain. "I'm getting rid of my childhood bedroom furniture."
"Yeah, I can help."
"That would be so great, I'll pay you—"
"Don't sweat it. Just treat me to dinner sometime," Bucky shrugs, and your stomach drops. What in the world does he mean by that... like a dinner date?
"Oh, dinner... yeah, okay. You got it," you play it cool and awkward.
He smiles at you, amused.
"Anyway..." you mumble unsure how to retract yourself from this conversation, unsure if you even want to.
"You really grew up, huh?" Bucky says, and he scans you up and down.
"I guess so," you shrug, your face burning. "You too."
"Yeah, guess we haven't seen each other in..."
He appears to be trying to calculate the years but you unabashedly jump in with an exact answer.
"Twelve years."
"Has it been that long?" he asks.
"I... think so," you feign uncertainty.
"So, what time do you need me tomorrow?" he asks.
"Oh, anytime that works for you."
"How about noon?"
"Perfect."
Asking for Bucky's help might've been the worst idea you ever had. When he comes over, he's wearing a cotton-white t-shirt and jeans. His hair is damp and slicked back from a shower. He looks so comfy, it makes you imagine waking up with him. You yearn to know how warm his skin feels fresh from the steam.
You ignore your inappropriate desires and lead him up the stairs to your old room. It's then you realize how many years of your life you desperately wanted to show him your room. Have your crush see these walls, sit on your bed, and make out with you next to your teddy bear.
It's embarrassing but probably every teenage girl wanted the same thing. Unfortunately, the thought slips out of you with a laugh.
"I always wanted to show you my room."
You freeze in the doorway, realizing what you've just said out loud.
"What?" Bucky asks from behind you.
"When I was younger, I meant. I didn't mean... I don't know why I said that, actually."
You turn around and see the look of amused confusion on his face, a small smirk inching from the corner of his mouth.
"Oh, fuck it. I had a major crush on you," you confess.
Bucky's eyebrows lift high.
"Yeah?"
"You couldn't tell?"
"I thought you were just awkward with everyone," he shrugs.
"Great, so you thought I was a total loser," you sigh.
"No..." he says quickly but takes a second to elaborate. "If it helps, I didn't think about you that way 'cause you were too young for me."
"Of course, you never thought about me," you brush off, trying not to let your younger self die too much inside.
You step into the room to create any amount of space from this conversation. But you instantly remember the countless hours you spent in here thinking about him. Staring out the window at his family's house hoping the catch a glimpse of him.
"Hey," Bucky says. His hand gently touches your shoulder.
You turn around to meet his eyes which oddly look darker, more intense now.
"I could see myself thinking about you now," he admits low.
You blink, your mouth is suddenly too dry to respond.
"I mean... look at you," he says so fondly that your heart could burst. And he looks you over again, his pupils dilating even more.
Is this really happening, you think.
His right hand hasn't moved from your shoulder. Boldly, you place a hand on his left forearm and you're right, his skin is still warm from the shower.
You breathe in sharply because just touching him, just standing this close for this long is something you were never lucky enough to get back then.
His eyes are still locked with yours and it's honestly so intense you can't look away even as you see him dip his head, lowering slowly to your lips. He waits, an inch from them, to see if this is okay. Of course, it's fucking okay.
You surge the last inch forward and kiss him harder than you anticipate. He stumbles a step back, in consequence grabbing onto your waist, and pushing forward. He walks you back toward the twin bed up against the wall.
When you fall back onto the mattress, it creaks from old age, but you couldn't care less. Because Bucky Barnes, your childhood crush, the extremely attractive neighbor next door, is crawling over you. And it's glorious, it's enough to make you arch up into him and moan.
He lets out a breathy laugh and then kisses you, his knee slides between your legs and presses down. You moan even louder. You're completely shameless, you are, but this is Bucky Barnes. You're not staying quiet for a second of this.
His mouth moves to your ear and he's kissing down your neck while his fingers slip under your shirt, rolling it up.
Your shirt is off and then you're pants are coming off too. You want to get him out of his clothes but his mouth finds the front of your panties and he's teasing you, mouthing at the fabric.
"Please," you whine.
He grins against your underwear and then slides the thin fabric off and sucks his thumb into his mouth.
When he touches you, he's not gentle. He goes right in and rubs your clit roughly but you're so turned on that it's like a jolt of electricity to your body, you leap up from the mattress.
He licks two fingers then and sinks them right inside you. Oh god, it's so easy because you're so wet.
"Fuck," he mutters, realizing this. He stares down, watching his fingers work inside you. Your skin boils endlessly.
He doesn't need to spend much time working you open and he must know that because it's not long before he pulls his fingers out and hurriedly works the button of his jeans open. He pulls open the fly and pushes them down when you sit up to get his shirt. You're not letting this happen without seeing that gorgeous chest again.
You remember so many summer nights when you got a glimpse of Bucky shirtless. Running through the sprinkles or coming home from a neighbor's pool. He was stunning, even back then, but now... oh lord, now he's filled out. He has a firm, thick chest and a set of perfect abs lining his torso. Because of course, he has a six-pack, you always fall for the most unattainable guys.
But somehow you have him, right here, in your very old, tiny twin bed.
You want to lick a long strip from his navel up to his neck but he doesn't give you the chance. Once his clothes are off, he pulls your legs over his waist and pushes inside you so fast you barely have time to prepare. You cling to him with your whole body, legs and arms. And you moan low.
"Oh god, you're so tight," he husks.
You tighten your hold around his neck, he looks up at you and kisses you. You're basically on his lap so start rolling your hips slowly, getting used to how big he feels inside you.
You push him back until he lies down. And then you're riding him. You're riding Bucky Barnes in your childhood bedroom on top of your pink comforter with yellow flowers.
This is your teenage dream come true and that realization plows through you, making you ride him even harder, snapping your hips as fast as you can over his cock. And it's enough that you get a moan out of him, a low gravelly groan that you immediately fawn over.
His fingertips dig into your skin as you keep riding him fast and hard. You know you're nearing the edge, your head falls with a whimper, you grip his shoulders tighter.
"Fuck, y/n. Come for me," he breathes.
And you lose all control the moment you hear that. Fuck, you come so hard.
"Oohhh, fuckkk," you wail and stop moving to let the orgasm crash through you.
Then his hands lift your ass, just enough so he can raise his hips and start fucking into you.
"Jesus," you hiss and scramble to hold onto him again.
He keeps fucking you, gaining speed and making your eyes roll back from the fact that your orgasm can't wane with his cock repeatedly slamming right into you.
He groans, squeezing the flesh on your ass now and you can tell he's close.
He curses under his breath and then he's coming and still fucking you so hard your vision's blurring.
When he finally slows down, he blows out a long breath. He releases his grip on your ass and closes his eyes, basking in the aftermath of his orgasm.
You can feel his cock twitch one last time inside you. You carefully try to pull off him. He winces as you do, still sensitive. You lean down and kiss him, you can't help yourself.
He smiles when you break to let him catch his breath. Okay, he's totally allowed to smile when he's naked in your bed, you decide. You admire the sight for as long as he lets you.
"Well, fuck," he laughs.
"Yeah, fuck," you agree, smiling. "Not sure if I should thank you for your help yet."
He laughs. "I haven't done anything yet."
"Oh, you've done plenty," you tease and plant another kiss on his lips.
He smirks at you and runs his hands up your sides, gentle and light.
"I'll help you move the furniture," he says. "Just give me a few minutes."
"Yeah, I need a few too," you say. "At least this bed is going out with a bang."
And you both laugh. Then you look at him and already remember what he said to you yesterday. You remember almost every word he's ever uttered to you.
"So, about that dinner," you say.
He smiles wide and just kisses you.
#bucky x reader#bucky x reader smut#bucky barnes fanfic#bucky x y/n#bucky barnes smut#bucky barnes x you
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warnings: cursing
CURRENTLY THINKING ABOUT sharing a bed with sam.
two rooms were always the standard when you would stay at hotels on a hunt. one room with two queens, and one room with a single bed for you. it's always worked. until now when the hotel receptionist told you she only had two rooms, both with only one king bed.
“well, hope you like sleeping on the floor, princess.” he smacks sam in the chest, sam rolling his eyes in response. “but seriously, who's bunking with who?”
“is that even a question? i am not listening to you snoring all night! i'll room with sam.” dean raises his eyebrows, but doesn't say anything.
“suit yourself. like i said, have fun on the floor.” he taps sam's shoulder before grabbing his key and walking to his room
once inside you both realize how small the bed is. “oh, king bed my ass.” you groan out, dropping your bag on said bed, and walking into the bathroom.
sam chuckles before saying, “it's fine, it'll be big enough for you, it's basically a queen.”
you peak your head out from the bathroom, “who said i'm sleeping alone?”
“uh, me?” sam retorts, snickering after.
“Uh, me?” You mock, walking out with your toothbrush in your mouth. “I don't care, we're sharing the bed, I'm not letting you sleep on the gross motel floor. You'll get a disease.”
sam raises his hands in a faux surrender, “hey, i won't complain.”
“but hey, if we're sharing a bed, i get first shower.” you tease as you grab a change of clothes from your duffle.
after your shower you walk back out to the bed, seeing sam on his stomach already passed out. you decide to stay up for a while longer, looking for a new case, but when you look over and see the alarm clock read 3:16 you decide it's time to sleep.
you try to sneak into the bed but pulling the covers up to get under them wakes sam.
he rolls over and smiles at you, dopey. “mornin’ sunshine.” you say with a southern twang.
“how long did i sleep for?” he questions as he props himself up on his elbow. you slid down to lay on your side facing him, pushed close by the lack of space of the bed.
“only two-ish hours.” you half smile at him. he nods slightly and lies back down. you're so close your knees are bumping each other's, and you can feel each other's breath. it's peaceful like this; the ambient hum of the air conditioner, the relief of solving a case, the only light being the lamppost light bleeding through the curtains.
you shuffle a bit, trying to find a sleep able position, your legs still bumping sam's, but not enough room to back up.
“you can... like, lay on me if you want. to give you more room.” you've never had a problem being close to him. until after he came back from college. something about him was different. something about you was different. you yearned to be close with him, but always too afraid to make a clear statement, and not just dropping hints.
you took a deep breath and scooted closer to him, your leg draped lazily across his thighs, and your head on his chest, where you could feel his heartbeat. the warmth of him. his arm wraps around your waist and it feels like you were made for this. made for him. “is this ok?” you ask softly, afraid that if you spoke too loud he would realize what he's doing and back out.
“yeah... it's nice.” he sighs softly. contently. you relax, feeling your body loosen once again.
your top arm moves out from its place, squished in between you and sam, and finds its way next to his. your fingers, so close. so close you would swear you feel electricity pasting between them. his hand inches closer to yours, his fingers laying on top of yours.
it's such a small gesture, holding hands, but in a way it means everything.
after a few minutes, and you being nearly asleep, his head tilts down to press his lips to your hair. “goodnight [y/n].”
“night sammy.” you whisper. finally feeling safe for the first time in years.
#sam winchester x reader#hoe writes#x reader#sam winchester#supernatural#supernatural x reader#hoe speaks#fluff
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FUCK MY WIFE ,, 방찬
pairings ⸝⸝⸝ bangchan x fem!reader wc. 3.9k+
genre. neighbor!au, smut
𓄷 includes ... cheating, unprotected sex, oral ( both receiving ), daddy kink
「 authors note 𖹭 」 you don't technically need to read the lee know fic , but it doesn't reference parts from the story so.
❪ masterlist! ❫
chan watched you go inside minhos house; he also saw minho following behind you, like he was on a mission. “hey baby.” he felt the lips of his wife's on his cheek. “hey.” he said looking around for your mother and minhos wife. “Who are you looking for?.” his wife asked, he shook his head. “no one.” he saw them both talking to each other; both of them so unaware of what their daughter and husband were up to. “just looking for the host or hostess.”
“ah she's over there talking to their neighbor that lives across the street from them.” she pointed. “i'm not sure where her husband is though— hey!” she waved as the two ladies approached them. “Mr. and Mrs. Bhang , how are you enjoying the barbecue?” the lady of the house asked him, chan tipped his drink with a smile. “You guys know how to throw a party , and the desserts are amazing.” he complimented. “well that's courtesy of Ms. y/ln here , she owns the bakery as you know.”
“Well you are an amazing baker.” the lady gushed, “thank you.” she said, his wife spoke up. “Hey, where is your husband?” He watched her look around much like he did before , but he knew where he was — and to say he was jealous was an understatement. “Probably inside feeding the cats.” she shrugged it off. “That man and those cats , sometimes I swear he loves them more than me.” she laughed.
“ah! there he is.” She said, the man standing around, his face red but chan didn't comment on it. “I told you those damn cats, I knew it.” she said. “yn seems to be missing as well , that girl probably snook off and went home.” your mother said, chan couldn't believe how oblivious the two were, it was almost comical how right on the nose they were but also so wrong.
both the ladies walking away; leaving him with his wife. “should we get going soon?” he asked, she nodded. “yeah, let me say a few goodbyes to the girls then we can head home.” he nodded , and she was off , he turned back to Minho who was adjusting himself, finally making eye contact; chan just gave him a nod like he knew— lucky fucking bastard.
Chan remembers the first time you came home from college for winter break; it was your freshman year, you were twenty-one years old; coming home from a grueling day at work to see you sitting on his couch; it was a cold day out but you were still wearing the tiniest skirt only with fleece tights, with the tightest long sleeve shirt that made your tits pop.
he couldn't remember why you were there and honestly he didn't care, you were sitting there waiting for his wife; so cute , so carefree— so fuckable. The obvious fuck me eyes you were giving him made his 30+ heart beat; and his cock stirring in his pants. that was the first night he ever fucked his wife.
no it wasn't the first time he ever fucked his wife in general; but it was the first night in a very long time; probably since before they got married all those years ago that he fucked his wife with so much lust and hungry, pulling orgasm after orgasm out of her— but his mind wasn't on his wife; no, he was thinking about you being under him, and him filling your tiny little cunt with his cock.
his wife was none the wiser either; thinking he just finally had a spur of the moment, and she wasn't complaining it was the best sex they had in a while, she was happy— blissfully unaware that her husband was thinking about the young girl down the street while he filled her with his load.
After that he thought it would go back to normal; and it did, you went back to college for the rest of the semester, and his sex life with his wife returned back to normal; slow and mundane , much like before— then you returned back for the summer, it just got worse from there.
Not only did you somehow get hotter over the last few months; now due to the heat you were wearing less and less clothing; miniskirts and shorts so short you didn't even need to bend over for people to see your lacy panties, your tiny crop tops; shiny titties bouncing up and down as you made your way down the hot streets.
Then it was the sunbathing; fuck the sunbathing. he didn't know if you did it for attention or what; and he didn't care he prayed every time he walked his dog that you were out there in the tiniest bikini soaking up the sun; and everytime you were, you'd sit up, lowering your sunglasses, parting your lips as you waved at him, wishing him a good day; he watched you purposely push your titties together— because you knew he was looking at them. that was the second time he fucked his wife, much like he did that winter.
That entire summer; it was like a routine, he'd walk the dog and you were out there in your bikinis; you'd have a small conversation where you'd subtly push your tits together; or your eyes would lower to his cock that knowing you; could see twitching in his shorts, biting your lip before he'd walk away— and then he'd go home and fuck his wife, he fucked his wife so that he wouldn't fuck you.
His wife must've been in heaven the entire summer; but she was surely let down once again when you went back to college for your second year— and their sex life returned back to normal.
“You know Mrs. Lee?” his wife said from their bathroom; bringing him back to reality. they had finally made their way back to their home. “she thinks that girl across the street from them, yn i think that's her name.” she walked into the room “she thinks she's trying to make a move on her husband.”
‘She's not wrong’ chan thought, but he didn't say it out loud. “How so.” he said, not bothering to look up from his phone. “just the little thing she does, the looks she gives him; and how she talks to him, she even said she started the sunbathing again.” he finally looked at his wife. “Sunbathing?” he said; of course he knew what she was talking about. “Yeah , half naked in her front yard, the other wives said it too.” fuck he couldn't wait to walk the dogs again. “that girl, her poor mother is none the wiser either, her daughter parading herself around seducing women's husbands.”
she climbed into bed , moving his phone out his, climbing into his lap. “not my husband though.” she kissed his lips. “My husband isn't desperate enough to fall for a young girl that's looking for attention?.” he groaned as he felt his wife grinding against him. “Mhm of course not.” he didn't move , letting her do what she wanted. “Good, now fuck me.” she moaned out
He flipped her over, slotting himself in-between her legs; his cock hard, from his wife yes; but also from the thought of you into those tiny bikinis, especially that red one; fuck that red one that barely covered your titties, the bottom not even covering your ass. “chan baby fuck me.”
And that he did, but much like all the times before; his mind was on you, how tight your pussy would be, your titties covered in his cum, how loud he would make you scream his name; you you you , that's all was on his mind as he plowed into his wife. “fuck chan, I'm gonna cum.” his wife screamed. “fuck cum.” he pulled out of his cum jerking his cock off, thinking it was you as he came all over her , covering her in his cum. “fuck.”
He quickly finished his wife off , rolling on to his back. “fuck it's been a while since you fucked me like that.” she kissed his cheek. “you even came so much.” She stood up. “Next time do it inside me, it's so messy like this.” he nodded breathlessly as he watched his naked wife walk back into the bathroom. Chan closed his eyes, the vivid image of you still there making his cock hard again. “shit.” he cursed.
Pulling his shorts up; ignoring his hard cock. “you're still hard.” his wife made her return , laying in bed. “What's got you so wound up today?” she asked. “stress probably don't worry it will go down.” she nodded, turning on her side. “Well get some rest.” he hummed. “okay.” he waited until his wife fell into a deep sleep before making his way into the bathroom to jerk off to the thought of you.
The next day; he came home from work and his wife was holding the leash in her hand. “walk the dog.” So before he could even put his things down , he was heading out the door with berry.
After doing his daily walk with the dog , he started on his way home; telling berry about his day. “oh hi Mr. Bahng.” you were coming from across the street; the lee house. “hi yn , going to see Mrs. Lee?” he watched as your eyes widened for a split second , before going back to normal. “yeah, my mother let her borrow a dish and she needed it back.” you lied right through your teeth , and he knew it , but could he really judge you if he wanted to do the same thing. “yeah, where is it?”
“Oh she wasn't home, I asked Mr. Lee but he had no idea what I was talking about.” you said so smoothly; like this was nothing to you. “Guess mommy will have to wait to make those brownies.” you smiled so sweetly, he wondered if you tasted as sweetly as you smiled. “You'll have to bring me some,” he said. “your mother's brownies.”
“Of course.” you toyed with the necklace that sat nice on your titties, he noticed the hickey on top of your left breast , wanting to groan so bad; they probably fit perfectly in his hand. “Mr. Bahng?” you asked. “you okay, you're a little red?” he laughed nervously. “Of course, it's just a little hot out today.” he fanned himself , you pouted. “isn't it?” your whiny voice , he felt his cock move. “I heard it's gonna be like this all week.” you sighed, before perking back up. “but it's perfect for sunbathing.”
You smirked watching his eyes widened a bit. “sunbathing?” he asked. “Yes , it's the perfect weather for it , I might do it tomorrow.” of course you were gonna do it tomorrow; because you knew he'd be by with his dog. “Yeah?” he said, you nodded. “yup!” you bent down slowly, giving him a good peek of your tits. “Hello berry.” you patted the dog's head. “She's so cute.” you looked up at him, giving him the image of what you would look like kneeling in front of him , right before you took him into your mouth. “yeah she is.”
the way he was looking at you made your panties wet; you were ready to go again, even though you had just come back from getting the best fuck of your life from Minho— who's to say you can't get the second best on the same day. “well I should go.” he said , simply because he was losing his mind. “My wife is probably waiting for me.” you nodded. “yeah my mom should be on her way home now, i have to start preparing for dinner.” You gave the dog one last pet before standing up. “Goodnight Mr. Bahng.”
He watched you walk away, your ass peeking from your tiny skirt as you made your way into the house. “Mr. Bhang.” He heard a voice from across the street where Minho stood with a smirk. “Mr. Lee.” He gave a head tilt. “Off to see the wife.” he air quoted the word see. “you know it.” he winked before making his way home— his wife might catch on if he comes home after a walk ready to fuck like a dog in heat.
The next day he once again found himself walking the dog; for a split second, he wondered if his wife knew what she was doing sending him on these walks; but that thought quickly went, of course he would think that his wife was a cuck for the young girl down the block. “Hello Mr. Bahng.”
There you were, laying on a towel in the grass; red bikini, fuck he was really about to cum in his pants. “Hello again.” he gave a little smile. “I see you were true to your word.” you smiled , nodding. “It was so nice out today, I couldn't resist.” you sighed , your tits barely covered. “Oh yeah , my mother got the dish.” you said. “huh?” He questioned. “for the brownies , it turns out it wasn't Mrs. Lee but the couple next to them, the kim's.” he nodded. “Their son Seungmin brought it today.”
“that's good , so your mom will be able to make the brownies then.” you nodded , sitting up , now giving him a full view of your tits as you sat back on your hands. “yup , she's making them now.” You said. “I can bring you some tomorrow if you'd like.” You tilted your head to the side. “I'm sure your wife would enjoy them.”
“Oh yeah for sure,” he said. “I would like that very much.” you hummed. “okay!” You smiled. “See you then.” you waved , before turning back on your stomach , the view of your ass; the bottom's barely doing anything. “fuck.” he cursed as the dog began to pull at the leash. “come on berry.” he gave your ass one last peek before continuing down the block.
“Fuck baby if you keep fucking me like this I don't think I'll be able to keep up.” he rolled off of his naked wife. “Where are you getting this energy from all of a sudden?” He smiled , pulling his shorts back up. “Just love for my wife.” and the lust for you; the need to fuck you. “mhm i like it.” she smiled.
“i'm going to visit my mother tomorrow.” his wife spoke up. “yeah, when?” he said. “I'll leave tomorrow and I'll return within two days.” she said. “I’ve prepared the food for those two days, just heat it up and eat.” he thanked her. “Oh and the lady down the street has some treats she said she'll bring them as well, you better save me some.” He completely forgot about that; you did say you'd be by— he thought his wife would be here; to stop him from taking you right there in the living room. “She'll be here in the afternoon.” He nodded , tomorrow may just be the day he gives in. “okay.”
He waited for you the entire day; he knew you were coming and he was ready, he made a decision the night before; if giving the opportunity he was gonna fuck you; he knew it was wrong, his wife did satisfy him , but it was clear his thoughts of you were infiltrating his mind; and it wasn't getting any easier. maybe this would be the first and last time , maybe he just needed to get it out of his system — he tried to justify himself, just as he heard a knock on the door.
He opened the door; and there you stood, your daily outfit that consisted of a skirt too short and a shirt too tight— this most definitely wasn't gonna be the last time. “I bought the brownies.” you smiled.
“So you slept with the neighbor across the street?” jisung asked, you nodded. “it was good too.” he scrunched his nose up. “didn't ask , but now you're going after the guy down the street?” he asked. “Who's also married?” you shrugged. “Babe, your mother still has to live on that block.” he said. “Yeah , I've had your mother's cooking and it's phenomenal.” Felix started. “but I don't think even the most chocolatiest of brownies can be made to fix this fuck up if people find out.”
“trust me they won't.” You said. “Once again I feel like I'm inclined to stop you as your best friend, but as someone who loves drama , I kinda wanna see where this goes with these two guys just for the plot.” you laughed watching Felix scolded his boyfriend. “Be careful yn.” He said , his hands yanking at jisungs hair. “and don't get pregnant.”
After hanging up with them you made your way downstairs where your mother had the brownies already packaged up for you to take; this allows you to go back to retrieve the pan once he's finished; if you're successful with your plans today, hopefully this will be soon. “Perfect.”
You made your way down the street; standing in front of the house , walking up the walkway, anticipating bubbling up in your stomach as you knocked on the door, waiting for him to answer; putting your best smile on as he opened the door. “I brought the brownies.” he smiled; fuck he looked good, a plain white tank top and black shorts, so simple, but so fucking attractive. “Come in.”
You walked past him; his eyes following you as you walked into his house; closing the door before looking out making sure no one saw; that was the last thing he needed. “You can sit them on the counter in the kitchen.” He followed behind you , watching your ass move, you sat the treats down , turning around where he was standing in front of you. “Mr. Bahng?”
you were taken aback but not surprised when he pushed you against the counter, grabbing both sides of your face; kissing harshly, his hand coming down to your ass squeezing. “oh fuck.” you moaned as he roughly grabbed your tits, grinding his hard cock against you. “fu-fuck you see what do to me?” you reached down grabbing his cock in his shorts. “I did this?” you bit your lip. “you want to fuck me that bad?”
he groaned as you palmed him through his shorts. “fu-uck been thinking about this for a year.” he groaned. “making you take my fat cock down your throat.” he groaned. “yeah? wanna cum all over my face?” you brought your lips to his ear. “cover me in your cum -fuck- i wanna taste you so bad.” you said biting down. “fill my mouth with your cum.”
“Fuck.” he pulled away from your, the look on your face made him move quickly , pushing his pants down to his ankle right there in the kitchen. “on your knees princess.” you sunk down to your knees. “gonna -fuck- gonna suck my fat cock?” he groaned , stroking his cock right in front of your face, your mouth watered. “yes.” he smiled , grabbing the back of your head. “open up princess.”
he filled your mouth up, throwing his head back, holding on the counter as you took him into your mouth. “that's it, suck daddy's cock.” you moaned around his length, your panties sticking to your cunt as you bobbed your head up and down his length. “feels so fucking good.” he moaned. “gonna cum all over your face.”
it was the best experience he'd experienced in a while; his wife wasn't the biggest fan of giving head; so he almost never got it and when he did, it was half-assed. “sh-shit.” the way your throat tightened around his pulsing length , the gagging noises coming from your mouth , eyes rolling to the back of your head in pleasure. “fuck I'm gonna cum.”
He thrusted into your mouth a few more times , before pulling out. “open your mouth princess.” he stroked his cock , hips twitching as the cum shot from his tip landing all over your face. “oh fuck!”
you smiled , holding your mouth open as his cum hit the back of your throat. “taste good, baby? you like my cum that much.” you nodded , he lifted you up onto the counter. “wanna taste this pussy so bad.” he lifted your skirt. “wet fucking cunt.” he groaned. “yeah , you think about my pussy when fucking your wife?” he grunted , biting your thigh. “fuck!” you yelped , moaning as he licked your cunt. “sweet fucking pussy.”
your hands tangled up in his hair as he tongue fucked you on the counter where he most likely shared food with his wife. “Oh fuck daddy that feels good.” you fucked yourself on his tongue, his nose bumping against your clit deliciously, making your eyes roll to the back of your head. “fuck I'm gonna cum , i'm gonna fucking cum.” you squealed. “fuck!” you came all over his face , hips jutting against his face riding out your high.
he pulled away, giving your clit little kisses before pulling away. “You liked that princess?” you smiled , nodding. “so much.” He lifted his shirt over his head, revealing his abs. “fuck.” you moaned, running your hands down his stomach, stomach churning in need for him again. “pl-please fuck me daddy.”
“fuck, you want daddy's cock?” he grabbed the base of his cock on your folds. “ye-yeah , fuck me please.” you moaned. “pl-please fuck me.” he slid into your slippery cunt. “oh fuck your pussy is sucking me in.” you moaned. “you-you're so big.”
he huffed with a smile, “yeah? my cock stretching your tiny pussy?” he moaned. “fuck , slutty pussy.” he grabbed your hips. “just let anyone fuck you.” he began to plow into your cunt. “me , Minho -fuck- just love fucking men that aren't yours.” you moaned out. “fuck yes!” you screamed. “I love it.”
“I know you do, slut.” he slapped your tits, pinching your nipples. “gonna cum inside this pussy.” you gasped as he thrusted up into you, hitting your g-spot making your mouth hang open as he hit it over and over. “oh fuck you look so fucked out , gonna cum for daddy?” he rubbed your clit. “hmm?” you nodded. “fuck yes, i'm gonna cum.”
“fucking cum for daddy.” he slapped your pussy , moving his fingers back and forth as your juices gushed out of you, coating his abs in your cum. “fuck i'm cumming.” he groaned. “daddy's gonna fill you up.” he grunted. “fuck!” he cursed, stilling his hips as he came, filling your warm hole with his sperm. “shit.” he slowly pulled out, watching the cum leak from your hole. “Keep it inside princess.” he pushed it back inside you. “good girl.”
“Do they taste good?” you straddled his waist, feeding him a piece of brownie , the both of you now in his bed; you were wearing one of his shirts. “mhm.” he moaned at the taste. “So good princess.” you smiled , wiping the chocolate from his plump lips, licking it off your thumb. “When will your wife be back?” You asked , he rubbed your waist. “tomorrow evening.” you hummed. “perfect.” you bent down, kissing his neck. “fuck princess don't leave any marks.”
“I know.” you whispered against his skin. “you can fuck me over and over.” leaving more kisses along his neck. “until your wife gets back.” he hummed. “fuck yeah.” he moaned as you grinded your hips down.
yeah he knew he could no longer fuck his wife to get you out of his mind.
©️LUVYENI
#kpop x reader#kpop smut#stray kids x reader#stray kids smut#skz hard hours#stray kids hard hours#stray kids hard thoughts#skz hard thoughts#skz smut#stray kids imagines#stray kids fics#bang chan x reader#bang chan smut#bang chan scenarios#bang chan hard thoughts#bang chan hard hours#bang chan x female reader
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J. Jaehyun | Coming Home
After hitting a dead end in your job search, you reluctantly return home to stay with your mom. However, fate has other plans as you unexpectedly cross paths with an old flame. Sparks fly as you navigate the complexities of past feelings and present circumstances, reigniting a passionate connection that refuses to be ignored.
Jaehyun x reader (Exes to lovers)
6k words
Fluff, Angst, Suggestive.
Playlist
As a little girl, you had this idyllic vision of what your adult life would be like. You thought by the time you entered your 20s, you would have graduated from college and easily walked into your dream career. But now, as an adult, you're confronted with the harsh realities of life. You only have $300 to your name, a coupon for a free pizza from your go-to pizza place, and a tech degree that seems to be of no use. To make matters worse, you've ruined your credit during your college years, and you've just ended a three-year relationship. It feels like everything is against you, and the only choice you have is to go back to your hometown to stay with your mom until you get back on your feet.
Leaving Los Angeles was hard enough, but landing in Connecticut felt like a blow to your pride. Everything looks the same as when you left, and the people haven't changed much either. You want to drop down to your knees and cry when you realize that this is where you're going to be for the next few months of your life. But you still have some dignity left in you, so you grab your luggage and try to compose yourself as you walk towards the pickup section to wait for your mom.
Blinking back tears, you inhale a deep breath and pull out your phone. You wait patiently as your phone searches for service in the area. When the service finally sets in, your phone blows up with 70 different alerts: two calls from your best friend, Joy, and three text messages from her telling you to have a safe trip and to keep your head up.
Six missed calls from your ex-boyfriend and seven text messages from him begging you to talk to him.
51 emails from the various job search sites that you signed up with and one singular text message from your mom.
Mom: Hey! I won't be able to make it. But don't worry, I'll have Jaehyun come pick you up. Can't wait to see you!
As if on cue, a familiar black 2015 Toyota Corolla pulls up right in front of you, and none other than Jung Jaehyun gets out of the car.
"This has to be a joke." You breathe, your shoulders raising as you do so.
He smirks the second he lays eyes on you, "Wow you haven't aged a bit."
You wish you could say the same about him, he'd grown a lot more mature since you last saw him. He wasn't the 18-year-old boy you were once head over heels for. He was way taller; he grew his hair out, and you could tell that he started hitting the gym.
"Why are you here?" You look up at him with folded arms.
He doesn't take you seriously. He never did. "Sorry, I'm late." He chuckles and takes your suitcase from beside you to load it in the back of his car.
Once he finishes his first task, he walks back around to open the door for you, gesturing to the passenger seat with both arms and a smile that you wish you could hate.
"I'm not getting in the car, Jaehyun." You remain in your spot, arms still folded over your chest.
"No?" He asks condescendingly.
You repeat, "No." Firm on your feet.
"Well, I guess. I'll see you there then." You watch him close the door and walk to the driver's side without sparing you a look. He starts the car and drives away, leaving you with two options.
You could chase after him and embarrass yourself, or you could remain stubborn and just call an Uber.
You choose to chase the car after realizing that the phone that you would use to call an Uber was sitting in the back of his trunk.
He watches you run after him from his rearview mirror; he slows down but refuses to stop until you were banging on the side of the window, begging him to stop. He got a thrill out of this, and you could tell.
"Did you change your mind?" He teases
Physically, Jaehyun was a completely different person; he grew up, well, you'll admit that. But personality-wise? He hadn't changed at all. He was still the same sarcastic asshole you met in high school.
You mutter, "I don't have my phone." As you slide into the passenger seat, out of breath. You subtly look around, taking notice that the car still smells the same way you remembered it; it was just cleaner now. Sooner or later, your eyes dart to the back seat, and Jaehyun chuckles when you do.
"So what's L. A like?" He asks suddenly, one hand on the steering wheel and the other draped over his thigh.
"It's fun and different. My boyfriend helped to introduce me to a lot of new things." You purposely mention your (ex) boyfriend just to see his reaction.
To your dismay, his reaction is as simple as none. He only asks, "How will long-distance work out for you? It didn't seem to work with us."
"We'll do fine." You say, trying to sound confident.
The car falls silent for a few moments before he starts up a new conversation. "I'm glad you're back."
The statement seems taunting, even if you know that's not how he means it. You always dreamt of moving away to a big city where no one knew who you were, and now that you're back home, it just feels like you are a failure.
"I'm not staying for long." You gaze out of the window.
"Since you're back in town, we should hang out sometime," he suggests, sneaking glances at you.
"I didn't come back to see you."
"Suit yourself, but remember I'm always just a phone call away."
As you step into the familiar house, you can't help but notice that everything looks the same. Though your mom has rearranged some things, the overall feel is still the same. She's standing at the counter, wearing her favorite white robe and sipping on a glass of wine. Even she looks the same, and you can't help but wonder if the past five years have been stuck in time.
Your thoughts are interrupted when Jaehyun speaks up from behind you, offering to take the bags upstairs. You're about to protest when your mom pulls you into a warm hug, rocking you back and forth. "Oh, my baby, I missed you so much," she coos, holding your face in her hands. "Have you been skipping meals?" She asks, eyeing you closely. When you shake your head, she mutters disapprovingly, "I hope you didn't start one of those stupid L.A diets." You hear Jaehyun snicker from behind you, but you can't break free from your mom's grip to glare at him.
"No, mom." You mutter shamefully like a middle schooler who just got through a scolding.
"We've got to fatten you up." She pinches your cheeks before she lets you go. Oh, you and Jaehyun should go try out the taco place down the street." Your mom swings her index finger between you and your ex-boyfriend. "They opened it up after you left. It's amazing, and the staff there is amazing, too."
You open your mouth to speak, but Jaehyun beats you to it. "I think she'd rather the tacos in L.A" he says as he stands beside your mom, looking down on you in a way that feels degrading. The only thing you can do is wonder when they got so close.
Your mom has always liked Jaehyun, but it seemed like she adopted him after you left. If you look close enough, you might find similarities in their facial features.
"Jaehyun probably has other things to do. Why don't we just go instead? It's been a while since it was just you and me." You waltz over and loop your arm around your mom's right arm. Opposite side of where Jaehyun was standing
"Or we could all go out together." Suggests, Jaehyun with a grin so big you could see his dimples.
Your mom's face glows at the thought as she pushes you aside. "That sounds like a wonderful Idea."
"How was your flight?" Joy's voice comes through the speaker of your phone while you prop it up against your old desk. You slide back in your seat to start your face care while simultaneously talking to her.
"Long, it should be illegal for infants to fly on a plane." You mutter, slapping the moisturizer on your face and rubbing it in circles along your cheeks.
Joy gets closer to the camera just to say, "That's harsh," but she doesn't bother to try to hide her laugh.
"Okay maybe not illegal, but there should at least be a secluded area for parents flying with newborns, or you know… just kids who still cry." You drag out the last part when you get closer to the mirror and run your index finger along the new pimple you have growing in.
"Like a daycare?" Joy asks
"That wasn't what I was thinking, but that works too."
"Okay enough about that, have you seen him yet?" Joy whispers against the speaker of her own phone and thankfully so because just as soon as she mentions him Jaehyun comes walking into your room without a notice or a knock.
"Dinners ready." He stops at the entrance of your room but gets closer when he sees that you're on the phone. Close enough for him to show up on your camera screen and wave his hand around. "Hi, Joy." He smiles tauntingly.
"I have to go," you mutter and hang up the call before either of them can get another word in. Turning in your seat to ask "Why are you here?" for the second time today.
His smile doesn't falter, and he doesn't back away, either. "What? You don't want to see me?" he teases.
"I don't," you murmur, pushing him away with the palm of your hand and rolling your eyes. You stand up when he backs up, but his eyes remain on you. You hate that you didn't hate it, and you hate that you don't hate him.
You always thought you would be angry if you ever saw him again, you expected that you'd shed a few tears even. But all of that was furthest from the truth because now that you saw him again you were only reminded of the love you kept harbored away for him.
You were gonna be fine, as long as you kept your distance.
"You invited him over for dinner?" You quietly mutter to your mom, hoping that Jaehyun won't hear you.
"Don't be like that, he came over all the time while you were gone. That's not gonna change because of a little breakup."
"But Mom." You whine.
She hears none of it as she continues setting the table and praising Jaehyun for how helpful he was compared to her own child. You grimace at the statement before plopping down at the table with your arms crossed.
Jaehyun takes the seat across from you, and your mom takes the one adjacent. "Isn't this wonderful? It's been so long since I've seen the two of you together." She smiles and clamps her hands together.
"Is he going to come over every night?" You ask, wiping the smile off of your mom's face. You've always been a fan of your mom's cooking, but now you were picking at the rice and mixing it around. Your spoon clinks against the bottom of the glass plate before you go to take a spoonful.
Sucking in a hiss when your mom smacks your arm, "Why don't you be nice?"
"I was just asking." You whine once more but pull your lips into a thin line when you realize that no matter what, she's going to take his side and Jaehyun's enjoying it.
"You know the carnival is opening tomorrow." Your mom starts again, "You guys should go out and have fun. It's summer, and you're still young."
"I can't. I have to…" You look around for any excuse that won't get you slapped for a second time. "Unpack."
Your efforts count for nothing as your mom slaps you again on the arm. "Oh, don't be stubborn." She laughs. "Jaehyun, you aren't busy, right?"
"No, mam." He smiles, specifically at you.
"And neither are you," she says when she looks at you. "So it's settled; you can pick her up tomorrow." Your mom claps her hands together with a bright smile.
"No, I really can't." You wave your hand around.
"Well, you don't have a job, do you?" is all your mom has to say to make you lower your chin and shake your head. "Then I don't see why not."
"Besides, you could use a picker-upper since you broke up with that little boyfriend of yours." She adds unsolicited. You want to hide, curl up into a ball, and just vanish, disappear, and go anywhere but here.
"You broke up?" Jaehyun pipes up with a smirk.
You scramble to defend yourself, but the best you can come up with is, "We're just taking a little break."and that's all you get to say before your mom interrupts.
"Say, Jaehyun, don't you have that pan I let you borrow? I think I might need it for tomorrow night's dinner."
He nods, "Yeah, I can bring it tomorrow if you'd like."
"No, you might forget. Y/n, why don't you ride with him and bring the pan back."
The mention of your name makes you choke on your food, "What?"
"That'll give you guys some time to catch up." If you didn't know any better, you would think she was doing this on purpose. But you did know better and knew she was doing this on purpose.
"But it's late, and he has bad eyesight." You point, searching for any way that you could to get her to change her mind. Retracting when you see the way he's looking at you. "I mean, it's never safe to drive at night."
"That's more of a reason for you to go. I wouldn't want him stranded on the side of the road." says your mom.
"What about me?"
"If you're ready, we can go now." She ignores you when Jaehyun stands up in his chair.
"Yes, you two get going. I'll clean this up." Your mother hurries you out of your seat, pushing you along with Jaehyun to the door. You don't even get to say anything before she's waving and slamming the door in your face, locking you out of the house with your pajamas, bunny slippers, and your ex.
"You coming?" Jaehyun yells, standing on the passenger side of his black car.
You look at the door once and let out a long, deep sigh as you stomp to his car, sliding past him and into the passenger seat, but not without rolling your eyes.
"If you keep rolling your eyes, they're going to get stuck in the back of your head," Jaehyun teases before closing the car door.
He gets into the car shortly after and starts it immediately. You hope to keep the car ride quiet, but Jaehyun has other plans as he starts returning to his place. "I see long distance isn't your strong suit."
Naturally, you want to roll your eyes. You notice it's just a common occurrence when you are around him. "I already told you were working things out; I just didn't wanna hold him back."
You turn to him when you hear a small laugh. "Working things out," he repeats. "How come I didn't get that option?"
"You didn't deserve it."
"So you really love him, huh?" He glances over to see your reaction, and based on your facial expressions alone, he knows he's right.
He knows the answer, but you're not as sure. Is it possible for you to love two men at once?
"I don't wanna talk about this tonight, Jaehyun." You sigh and gaze out of the window. Per your request, he remains quiet for the rest of the ride. But now that you're sitting in complete silence, all you have to do is think. Think about the feelings and emotions you thought you had left in the past.
What would things be like if you had never ended things with Jaehyun? Would you have met your ex? Would you be conflicted right now sitting in the passenger seat of your ex's car while thinking about your other ex?
"Are you coming in?" Jaehyun asks, holding his apartment door open for you.
You prop up against the wall behind you and fold your arms. "No, I'll stand right here," you say, but swiftly run behind him when you hear someone else leave their apartment. The last thing you needed was someone else to see you standing outside his door, whether they knew you or not.
"Hi, Johnny." Jaehyun turns to wave at the neighbor against your wishes, smiling at you when you glare at him. "Don't worry, he's not gonna bite you."
Your only response is another glare; he simply smiles while you walk past him and into his apartment.
This seems to be the nature of your relationship: You're hot-headed and easily irritated, while Jaehyun is sarcastic and loves to get under your skin. It's always been like this, and there was just no telling how the two of you ever managed to fall in love.
Jaehyun stands behind you when you scan his living area. It's exactly what you'd expect from a man, and especially Jaehyun. There's a couch and some small decor here and there, but it feels cold and bare for the most part.
It's almost hard to believe that this is where he spends most of his time.
You keep your thoughts to yourself and follow him into the kitchen, where you continue to look around.
"Seems like you and my mom got close," you speak, hoping to distract him from how you are inspecting everything in his apartment.
Jaehyun answers, "Yeah, I guess you could say that." His head dips into the cabinets under the counter, searching for the pan that brought him here in the first place.
You raise your hands to each arm and sigh, "So was that on purpose… or?"
"She was the closest thing I could get to you." He says casually, as if everyone's heard that before.
You, on the other hand, aren't as casual about the subject as he is. You drop your arms to your side and start looking around again for a sudden change of conversation, which Jaehyun misses with his head still tucked under the cabinets.
"I like what you've done with the place; it's cozy." You lie, and you're glad he isn't looking at you because you know he can tell that you are with just a glance.
You forgot that he could also tell when you were nervous. He's always been able to read you like a children's book, and he always used that against you.
"It wasn't as easy for me to jump into another relationship as fast as you did." He stands up with the pan in his hand. The look he gives you makes your face feel hot; you begin choking over words.
"I- I don't wanna talk about this."
"I do." He slides the pan back when you reach for it but closes the distance between you. He gets so close that you have to crane your neck to look up at him. He's so close that you're scared he might hear the beat of your heart. He's so close that you could just kiss him. "I missed you, Y/n. More than you could ever imagine."
You admit you still have feelings for Jaehyun but won't act on them. After all, you're a firm believer in "Control your actions, not your emotions," but he's only getting closer and closer.
You start to rethink your philosophies when you breathe in the scent of his cologne. Your skin feels hot and you don't know how long you plan on holding back from him.
It's going to happen sooner or later, so why not sooner? You think as you allow him to take the last step needed to close the space between you.
When his lips connect with yours, you wrap your arms around his neck to pull him closer, and suddenly, he lifts you up by the back of your thighs to carry you back to his bedroom.
The bright yellow light beaming over your closed eyelids wakes you up from your deep slumber. The arm wrapped tightly around your abdomen causes your eyes to nearly bulge out of your head.
Your clothes sprawled on the floor is enough evidence to prove that last night wasn't just a dream. Being pretty much naked in nothing but one of his T-shirts is just the icing on top.
You really slept with your ex.
"Jaehyun," you whisper, gently tapping his arm, which is more than enough to wake him up.
He groans, "Good Morning" as he starts to lay kisses all over the back of your shoulders. And if possible, his hold on you just gets tighter as he pulls you back towards him.
"I have to go home."
"Sure thing, baby." He says, laying one kiss on the back of your head and another on your cheek. With that, he rolls off the bed and begins getting dressed, smiling like an idiot while he does so.
You choose to ignore it; for once, he wasn't acting like an asshole, and you just need some quietness while you take the time to collect your clothes from around the floor.
However, when you reach the car, your thoughts spew like a waterfall. "We can't do that again." You don't give him time to respond, to neither agree nor disagree, before you go on a tangent that lasts the entire 12-minute car ride.
"Okay," Jaehyun responds after pulling into the driveway of your childhood home.
He's never really been much of a talker; if anything, he just liked to say simple things that he knew would piss you off. You're certain this has to be one of them. Unfortunately, that doesn't stop your blood from growing hot.
"okay?" You repeat with squinted eyes. "I just told you I never wanted to see or talk to you again and just go 'okay?"
"What do you want me to say?" He almost laughs, and that just riles you up more.
"Anything else? Did you even mean everything you said yesterday, or were you just looking for sex?" He doesn't say anything at first. He looks away and gazes out the window for what feels like half an hour but is only 8 seconds.
"I don't know." He shrugs
"You don't know?" You repeat him yet again.
"Well, do you want me to tell you the truth?" He asks calm as ever, completely opposite to you.
"No, I don't." You murmur, stomping out of his car and slamming the door behind you.
Jaehyun lets you get to your porch before he rolls his passenger seat window down and shouts, "I'll pick you up at two." When you turn around, you're met with a dimpled smile and his crescent eyes.
If you weren't already so angry, you would've matched his smile, and for a second, you almost do.
He always knew how to make you mad and how to make you laugh. That's why you fell in love with each other, and it only took a special set of dimples to remind you of that.
The sun is still young at 2 p.m., well, 1:51 p.m., to be exact. You were coming to terms with the fact that you had slept with your ex and that you'd been counting the seconds, waiting for two o'clock to come.
The knock at the door sends you rushing down the steps, nearly tripping over your own feet. You barely contain your smile when you see Jaehyun standing on the other side of the door.
"You're early," you scoff, walking past him and closing the door behind you. Jaehyun does nothing but smile at you, reaching for your hand to pull you closer to him as he guides you to his car.
He leaves a kiss on your cheek and mumbles, "I couldn't wait to see you." To which you roll your eyes in an attempt to hide the way your lips turn up into a subtle smile.
The wind from outside seeps into the car as he drives through the highway, one hand interlocked with yours and the other on the steering wheel. He glances at you a few times and, after the third time, says, "You know this is a date, right?"
You turn your head towards the window and pretend like you can't hear him. Only for him to roll both windows up and repeat, "You know this is a date, right?"
"I didn't agree to a date." You retort, "I'm only here cause my mom forced me to."
"Is that why you're still holding my hand?" He asks, his eyes focused on the road ahead.
You shift in your seat, but you don't dare to let go of his hand. If anything, your grasp on him just gets tighter, and you go back to looking out the window. "My hand is cold, and yours is warm," you murmur.
Your answer warrants him to bring your hand up to his lips and leave a chaste kiss or a few. He does that often throughout the evening, randomly pulling you closer to him just to leave kisses on your cheek or forehead.
It feels like high school all over again. Jaehyun's still staring at you like a lovesick fool, and you still get butterflies in the pit of your stomach when you make eye contact. "This isn't a date," you state suddenly.
The warm breeze, carrying the scent of summer, gently tousles your hair as you gaze up at your ex. "And I meant what I said. After this, I don't wanna see you again." The air is filled with the sounds of young teens cheering and laughing, their voices blending into a joyful cacophony.
Jaehyun uses his index finger to move the hair out of your face and push it behind your ear. "Okay," he says softly, with his hand still lingering on your cheek. His thumb softly grazes your lower lip.
You breathe, "I'm serious, Jae." But the use of his nickname and the way you look at him tells him you're anything but serious.
"I know." He says, switching his focus between your eyes and your lips. He kisses you, but you take the initiative to pull him closer by the nape of his neck, feeling the heat of his body transform onto yours.
The feeling is all too familiar, like euphoric bliss or, rather, a certain type of high you don't ever want to come down from. "I missed you." You slur against his lips, arms still tied around him so he can't go anywhere.
"I know." is all he says before he leans in to kiss you again.
The car is pretty silent other than the small taps of the raindrops on the windows and the music playing on his car radio at the lowest volume. Occasionally, you can hear vibrations from your phone.
Jaehyun's hand is firmly wrapped around yours, and it's been like that for the past hour. He pulls you right back every time you try to slip away. "So what about Sicheng? How is he?" you ask, resting your head against the back of the seat.
"He's married now," Jaehyun answers. The tips of his lips turn upwards into a smile when he sees your widened eyes.
"To whom?"
"I don't know her name." He looks off to the side as if to think. "They got married a year ago."
"I would've never thought." The car falls silent again, and just as soon as it does, your phone buzzes for probably the hundredth time of the night.
Jaehyun lets your hand go just long enough for you to check your messages.
There are over 20 missed calls from Joy and one text from her telling you to call her ASAP.
Then, there are three messages from your ex begging you to call him. His contact is still saved as "my love." It's been like that since you first got together, and you hadn't thought of changing it after you broke up.
Well, it's more like you couldn't bring yourself to do it. If you were to change his name and block him, things would be real for you. And you were desperately clinging on to hope. Maybe things will work out; you'll go back to L.A and be with him again.
"Are you okay?" Jaehyun pulls you out of your thoughts, sliding his hand into yours and interlocking your fingers.
"Yeah," you shake your head and lock your phone.
You have no idea what tomorrow might bring, but for tonight, you just want to sit with Jaehyun, even if it is just for tonight.
"Hello." It's probably 6 am if you had to guess. Birds are singing right outside of your window, and the sun isn't all the way up yet.
You sit up in your bed with one hand holding your phone to your ear and the other moving your hair out of your face. "Why didn't you call me back?" Joy's voice echoes through the speaker of your phone.
"Maybe because I was asleep?" You snap back, eyes barely open.
"I got you a job." That's enough to have you leaping off your bed with your eyes jumping out of the socket.
"Say, sike." You chirp. "Please don't say sike."
"I'm serious; I told them you were out of town, but you can start next month." She explains, calm as ever.
"Joy, you are amazing." You exclaim into the phone. "Have I ever told you you're the bestest best friend in the entire world?"
"You've mentioned it a few times." You don't have to see her to know that she's smirking. "I have to go now. I just wanted to tell you about the job. I'll call you back later."
She doesn't give you time to say anything else before the call is dropped. You throw your phone down and plop down on your bed. You can't help but smile, thinking about how things are gonna go back to normal.
However, when you feel your phone vibrate against your side and you read Jaehyun's name off your screen, your smile fades. You were so excited about going back to L.A that you forgot about him.
For the next few days, you do your best to forget about everything and just spend time with Jaehyun, whether it be chatting in his car or even helping him redecorate his sad and cold jail ce- apartment.
"What's the catch?" Jaehyun asks suddenly, his index finger twirling in your hair. You shift your head against his chest to look at him.
"What are you talking about?"
"You've been acting really weird lately," he explains, "You're all clingy now. Which I like, but it also feels too good to be true." You can see a shift in the way he looks at you and in the tone of his voice. "It feels like you might try to leave me again."
"I'm just trying to make up for lost time." You're too afraid to tell him that your time with him is limited. Too afraid of his reaction and of your own emotions.
"You don't have to lie to me." He sits up against the headboard of his bed, and you do the same thing. "I knew this was only temporary, and I know I shouldn't have let my feelings get involved again." Jaehyun takes a deep breath before continuing, "But I love you. I think I always will."
When you don't say anything, he keeps going. "Let's try again." He says.
"Jaehyun-" He cuts you off with a kiss, not wanting to hear your rejection.
"We can move to L.A together." He speaks against your lips, "And we can find an apartment. I'll get a job, I'll sell my car if I have to."
His determination makes you giggle, and soon enough, he starts laughing with you."I thought you hated the city."
"I do. But you love the city, and I love you,"
"I didn't know you were such a romantic." You beam, butterflies erupting as he reaches to move the hair out of your face and behind your ear.
"But we'll have to move my son out too. I'm not asking you to play stepmom, but I do want to be in his life." Jaehyun speaks casually, but your jaw is growing heavy, and the butterflies are starting to feel like poison or mini daggers hitting your gut all at once.
You only manage to squeak "What?" Even though there are so many questions, you want to ask.
"I'm kidding." He breaks into a laugh, but you're still left confused and slightly heartbroken.
"That's not funny, Jae." You whine when he pulls you in to leave a kiss on your forehead.
"It's hilarious, baby."
You jump up off the bed the second your phone begins to vibrate, running to the door and checking the doorway to make sure Jaehyun is occupied before you slowly and softly close the door to answer the call.
"Hello?" You breathe into your phone speaker as you tiptoe back to the bed.
"Hello? Girl, why are you whispering." Joy asks, "Where are you?"
You don't have to answer that question because Jaehyun answers that question for you when he busts through the door to ask "Do you want take out or should we cook tonight?"
"Take out." You answer, covering your phone mic.
Still, your best friend hears everything, "Who is that?" She questions.
"Okay, do you want Pizza or Chinese food?" Jaehyun asks, leaning in between the doorway.
"Y/n, that better not be who I think it is." Joy scolds from her end of the line.
You answer Jaehyun to ignore Joy. "I don't know, you choose," you say urgently, anything to get him out of the room.
"I know how you are, baby. I don't want to get you something that you don't feel like eating," Jaehyun explains, walking further into the room.
The closer he gets, the louder your heart beats and the more your best friend yells at you. "Baby?" She barks through the speaker and right into your ear.
You rush to hit the mute button, but with your eyes focused on Jaehyun, you slip up and accidentally put your best friend on speaker phone. "Y/n, you better answer me right now."
When her voice rings through the room, your heart stops beating altogether. For the second time this month, you want to vanish, disappear into thin air, and cease to exist.
"Hi, Joy." Jaehyun greets with a large grin that shows his dimples on full display.
Joy only responds in a monotone, "Jaehyun." You rush to say, "I'll do a plain cheese pizza." Once again, you are just trying to get him out of the room.
"Sure thing, baby." He cooes, with a kiss to your cheek. Soon enough he's out of the room and you're alone again. With a deafening silence.
"Things happened." You hesitantly speak.
"Things like what?" Your clothes slipped off, and you fell into his bed?" You hear a sigh immediately after she snaps, and you're too afraid to say anything else. "What about—"" I don't wanna talk about him," you interject.
"Okay, but does he know you're coming back?" Joy asks, referring to Jaehyun. When you don't answer, she gets worried. "You are coming back, right?"
"Of course I'm coming back. I just haven't told him yet." You trail off on the last part.
She doesn't say anything for a long while, and neither do you. You sit in your own disappointment, you didn't need her to tell you that you messed up because you already knew that.
"Y/n, I'm only saying this because I love you…" It doesn't take a genius to know that what's coming next is about to hurt. "You're being really stupid right now."
That hurt a lot more than you thought it would. "Wow, thanks, Joy."
"Listen, I don't want you to get hurt again."
"I'm not, he's changed, and things are different now." You explain although you're not even sure you believe it yourself.
"Then why haven't you told him yet?" She asks, but you don't answer. "You're going to give him the chance to break you again?"
"He's not," you cry, pulling against the ends of Jaehyun's oversized shirt, which you stole out of his drawer to wear.
Joy can hear the tone of your voice soften, so she softens hers as well, but it doesn't change the gravity of her words. "Do you remember how long it took for-" "Please don't mention him." You interrupt her, already knowing who she's about to bring up.
"Look I'll figure things out, but for now I just wanna be happy." You continue, "I think I deserve that."
"You do, Y/n. You deserve nothing but happiness, and if he makes you happy, then don't let me get in your way. but don't forget who you have waiting for you in California with open arms." Joy attests
"I know you're just looking out for me, but I don't know if I can go back to him knowing what I did while I was here."
"You know better than I do that he'd never judge you." And you did. You knew that very well. Your ex never made you feel insignificant or anything of the sort. He never shamed you or made you feel guilty for anything. But that didn't change the fact that you would judge yourself.
"I just need time to think about everything." You say, almost in a whisper.
"I trust that you'll do the right thing." Joy reassures, "I'm gonna go now. I love you."
"I love you too." You say before hanging up the phone and throwing it on the other side of the bed. The call leaves you feeling nothing but confused, and Jaehyun notices it the second he walks into the room.
Your subtle pout and the way you're holding the pillow to your chest tell him exactly how you're feeling. "What's wrong?" He takes the seat beside you, tugging at your waist so you can scoot closer to him.
"Did you mean what you said about moving to L.A.?" You ask first. Your hand rests over his when he reaches to stroke your cheek.
"I wouldn't play about that Y/n"
You take a deep breath when you get the answer you want. "Joy got me a job, and they want me to start next month."
"What? That's amazing, baby." He cooes, grabbing each of your hands. "We're going to L.A"
He reacted way differently than you imagined he would; the look on his face tells you he's sincere, and the flutter in your heart makes you hope that he really is. You don't think you can take another heartbreak, not from him.
As you stand in your old room, the brown paper box at your feet, you can't help but feel a strong sense of nostalgia wash over you. You take in every detail: the way the sunlight filters through the window, casting a warm glow on everything in the room; the creaking sound of the wooden floorboards under your feet, each one carrying a memory of its own; and the scent of your old perfume that still lingers in the air, like a faint echo of a bygone era.
This time, as you prepare to leave, it feels different. It feels like you're saying goodbye for good, and the thought of leaving this place forever fills you with a deep sense of loss. When you first arrived in Connecticut, you couldn't wait to leave, but now you find yourself wishing you could stay just a little bit longer so you could relive the memories of your past, which you hold so dear.
However, you know that the real reason you're dreading going back is that you don't want to face your ex. The thought of telling him that you're now in a relationship with the man you used to cry to him about fills you with anxiety. You're unsure of how he'll react, and the mere prospect of facing him makes your heart race with fear.
The more you think about it, the more you realize that things are not looking good for you. You're caught between your love for your new partner and your fear of the unknown.
Suddenly, your mom yells from downstairs, "Y/n, someone is here for you." You don't pay much attention to the hesitation in her voice, too lost in thought. You wish you had because when you reach the bottom of the stairs and look up, Doyoung, your ex, is standing right across from you with a saddened smile and a black duffle bag. Your heart skips a beat as you see him. You hadn't expected him to be here, but now that he is, you don't know how to react. You mutter, "What are you doing here?" As you wrap your arms around yourself, unsure of what to do next.
Part 2
#fluff#drabbles#nct x reader#nct imagines#nct fluff#nct#nct 127#nct icons#nct angst#jaehyun#jeong jaehyun#jung jaehyun#jaehyun fluff#jaehyun nct#nct jaehyun#jaehyun x reader#jaehyun imagines#jaehyun icons#Jaehyun angst#nctzen#nct au#jaehyun x y/n#jaehyun x you#nct x you#nct smut#nct scenarios#fanfic#nct fanfic#promise-you-doie
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guard dog || lucy bronze x reader ||
lucy cheers you up when the internet has it out for you.
"i think i'm gonna go lighter with my hair."
you had no idea the trouble those words were going to cause you. lucy had tried hard to keep you out of the spotlight, but it wasn't as easy as when you first started dating. you'd been with lucy since college, and over the years, fans had taken notice of you frequenting lucy's games. it wasn't until the euros, however, that lucy had finally confirmed your relationship.
it wasn't good for you to be on any social media when it felt like every other post was about you. you had dealt with a bit from fans before, but this was worse than you could have ever imagined. it was one thing to be accused of cheating by strangers, but it was the constant affirmations of things that you already thought about your relationship and yourself that got to you.
lucy was amazing, and you had never felt like you were right for her. she was always too smart or too ind for you. she was out of your league attractive. lucy bronze was too good for you, and it felt like millions of people agreed with that.
"hey, are you okay?" lucy's brows furrowed as she watched you lean forward. you were starting to hyperventilate as the world felt like it closed in on you. lucy rushed over to kneel beside you and tilt your head to look at her. "hey, what's going on?"
"i didn't cheat on you, i swear." it was something lucy already knew. you knew that she was well aware that you would never even think to do something like that, but it was all you could say. you needed to reassure her in case she saw the pictures and didn't recognize herself.
"i know that, i never said you did." lucy would have laughed if you weren't obviously so upset. "talk to me, what's going on?"
"the pictures after you got your hair done, when we met for lunch. i took your car, and they don't know what the other looked like. your hair was different, they think i'm cheating. they know that i don't deserve you," you rambled. lucy pulled you into her arms and held you against her chest. she ran her hands through your hair as she pressed gentle kisses to your temple.
"hey, it's okay. i will get this sorted out, i promise. can you go downstairs and pick out a takeout menu for us? i know that you were gonna cook, but not if you're upset. i want you to just relax for the night," lucy said. she gave you a squeeze before she let you go downstairs.
it wasn't easy, but you managed to take your mind off of everything after lucy hijacked your phone. lucy ordered your favorite takeout, even if she knew a few places that served the same thing that she liked better. you were truly pampered in a way that you hadn't been in a while. lucy was a busy woman at barcelona, not that she had ever been anything else. this was just different, and things often took up a lot more of her time than either of you expected.
"am i done with phone jail?" you asked lucy as the two of you laid out on the couch the next afternoon. lucy had helped you with breakfast in the morning, although you didn't let her lay a finger on your coffee. the two of you had spent most of the day catching up on the american sports that you had been missing out on.
"i don't know. do you promise not to make fun of me if you see anything too sappy?" lucy asked you. she looked a bit ashamed of herself, as if she had done something hastily last night. you knew that lucy could be fiercely protective over you. she had nearly beaten up one of her teammates when the two of you moved here and the girl had gotten too friendly with you for lucy's taste.
"that depends on what you did. lucy please tell me that you didn't say anything to get yourself in trouble." you stared at lucy, who just handed you back your phone. she tried to shift away from you, but you threw your weight down more securely on top of her. you opened up instagram to see that lucy had tagged you in a post. "aw baby."
you swiped through the pictures, each one from a different milestone in your relationship. they weren't necessarily your favorite pictures, but you knew that they were lucy's. there wasn't a single one where one of you didn't have a lovestruck look on your faces. most of them were lucy staring at you, but you definitely took note of the few thrown in where you looking at her like she was your everything.
"shut up," lucy grumbled. you looked at her with fresh tears in your eyes, and lucy just sighed to herself. "fuck, this wasn't supposed to make you cry."
"i love you so much," you said as you cupped her cheeks. lucy let you kiss her, but she tried to hide her face immediately once you were done. "you're so sweet. thank you for this."
"just stay off of twitter for a while," lucy told you. you nodded your head, but as soon as you went into one of your text chains with the few of her teammates you had befriended over the years, you saw what she wanted to hide from you. lucy was a woman of few words most of the time, but when she had something to say, she made sure to get her point across. you thought she was being a bit harsh, but lucy's message was sure to shut everybody up about getting at you.
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01| The Grey Area
Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x reader Summary: You meet Aaron Hotchner and he makes you see everything in colour; he makes you feel like you're the only girl in the room. But then, as you find out that you're not, you realize the colour he actually makes you see the most is grey. Warnings: emotional and physical cheating, forbidden love affair, reader is in government, cm level violence, r is a bitch at first, hotch is a jerk, based on olivia pope and fitzgerald grant Words: 3.8K
Masterlist | Series Masterlist | Part 2
a/n: is this based on scandal by shonda rhimes? yes. why? bc that was peak television. making this a series bc i need to learn how to make things other than long fics (be proud of me).
1989
For as long as you could remember, life was slow. Everything was black and white: your surroundings, your activities, your beliefs.
And then you met Aaron Hotchner, and you started seeing things in colour.
"I'm sorry, is this seat taken?"
You barely looked up at the person, just shaking your head and continuing to twirl your pen on your desk. He sat down right after.
You didn't expect him to talk to you. In fact, you were sure your disinterest was written all over your face in bold red letters.
"I'm Aaron. Aaron Hotchner." He held his hand out; you only saw it because he held it over your desk, not because you actually looked in his direction.
You stared at his hand plainly before looking up to the front of the class where the professor had just stood up. "And I'm not interested," you said. Presumptuous of you, maybe, but this was Georgetown, and it was your second year. Everybody was competition, and nobody actually wanted to be your friend unless they were looking for something a little more.
It was like you could hear his frown. "I— we can't be friends?"
Finally, out of just pure exasperation, you looked at him, and boy were you taken aback. Aaron Hotchner, as he so formally introduced himself, had dark, dark brown hair, almost black, and a jawline that wasn't too sharp nor too round. His brown eyes looked at you expectantly, confusion swimming through them. Briefly, you thought he was perfect, but that wouldn't change your stance.
Despite your short-lived awe, you deadpanned, "No, we can't."
Aaron went to open his mouth, but then the professor started speaking and it cut him right off. You looked toward the front and didn't back at him once, listening intently. You were determined to succeed above all things, and no boy would get in the way of that.
Your first lecture of the semester went fine after that. You packed up your things at the end and you were gone before Aaron could try again. You went to one more class then got ready for work without another thought of him.
During nights, you were a bartender at this place near the campus. It wasn't just college kids; it was also frequented by businessmen and other big spenders who tipped well so long as you smiled and laughed at their jokes.
The excessive flirting wasn't ideal, but the job paid the bills, and since you were doing this all by yourself, that was exactly what you needed.
You rarely saw people you knew. There were regulars, and every once in a while you might've seen a kid from one of your classes, but it wasn't something you expected often.
You certainly didn't expect to see the hot guy from Advanced Legal Research.
"Hi there, what can I getcha?" You weren't looking at the customer, busy cleaning a glass and simultaneously passing someone their drink while you spoke to them.
"Hey, you're the girl from my LAW-J 301 course"
You paused at the person's voice, both at their enthusiasm and familiarity, and looked up. When you did, you couldn't help the groan that left you. "Seriously? You, again?" Each word was enunciated slowly, accurately demonstrating your annoyance. However, you got back to what you were doing, taking your eyes off him. "What, are you stalking me, Hopscotch?"
"It's Hotchner."
This time, your sigh was accompanied by a pointed eye roll. "Duuuude." You looked back up. "I do not care. Now, what do you want?"
He snorted. "Do you talk to all your customers this way?"
You flashed him a sarcastic smile. "Just the ones that can't take a hint." He opened his mouth for a sharp rebuttal no doubt, but you redirected the conversation. "Your order, Hopscotch. Or else you're gonna have to kick rocks."
He acquiesced like it was such a hardship you were asking of him, like you weren't in a bar that he came to specifically to order a drink. "Fine. Whiskey, neat."
That, you could help him with. You grabbed a bottle of Jack Daniels and poured some into a glass for him, all the while making conversation. He wasn't special; you did this with every customer. "What are you doing here?" When you got no response, you glanced back up to see a confused expression on his face. You elaborated, "Doesn't seem like your scene." You would've said no offense, but who were you kidding? You were already abrasive to begin with.
But he didn't look offended. If anything, he looked curious. "How so?"
You slid his drink across the counter, cocking your head at him as if telling him it was stupid to even ask. "You introduced yourself with your first and last name, extended your hand for me to shake, then just now, you referred to our class with the course code." You raised a brow then. "A little formal, don't you think?"
Now he looked a little offended. "Formal? I don't think so. I'm a little old fashioned at most."
For the second time that day, you deadpanned. "You're at the bar in a suit and tie. You couldn't have made it any more obvious that you don't do this often."
He got a little red then. You think that, if he could've, he would've loosened his tie, but he just picked up his drink, taking a swig. You'd give him a little credit, though; at least he looked like he could take his liquor. "Fine," he admitted, "my friends dragged me out."
"Ah," you chuckled, "common occurrence here at GWU. You'll get used to it soon, freshie."
He furrowed his brows. "How'd you know I was a first-year?"
You grinned. "You just told me, Hopscotch."
He groaned, making you stifle a laugh. No, you wouldn't laugh at him; that'd make it seem like his presence was growing on you when it wasn't.
You didn't need new friends, and you certainly didn't need suit-and-tie-wearing, formal Aaron Hotchner.
But he stayed there. He stayed there and talked you as you served other customers, asking you to refill his drink every now and then. You wondered where his friends were, but by the time closing came 'round, you assumed they were long gone.
He talked to you all night, you realized.
And you didn't totally hate it.
Aaron visited you at work the next day, too. That's when you told him your name. Then you started talking to him in class. Then, before you knew it, you exchanged numbers and he was visiting you at work nearly every day.
But you were right in your earlier reservations. You and Aaron Hotchner couldn't be friends.
You just learned that too late.
2005
"Tallie, tell Gretchen that I need the files on Henderson's case by the end of the day, please."
You walked with your assistant at your side, heels clicking against the floor as you went through all the day's administrative business. Every day, Tallie went over your schedule with you as soon as you entered the building. Time was of the essence in your job, and you had none of it to waste.
"Yes, ma'am, and— if I may—"
"Oh, and contact the President's Chief of Staff. I need to meet with him by the end of the day to discuss the recent terrorist attack in London again. We need to communicate with the British government without overstepping."
"Done, and—"
"And could you please get Rob Burton on the line for me?" You turned down the hall that led to your office. "He said he has an inquiry for me."
"Well, ma'am, um—" You had just reached your office when Tallie stopped, sighing. You looked back at her, raising a brow. Sheepishly, she pointed ahead of you. "There's that."
Your brows knitted together. You turned, following her gaze to see a dark-haired man standing in your waiting room, eyes on his watch. As if he felt your presence, he looked up, and as soon as your eyes locked, you realized why he looked so familiar.
Tallie cut off your thought process. "I kept telling him he didn't have an appointment, but he said you knew him and would let him in, that it's urgent."
You let out a sigh of your own, muttering under your breath, "Somehow, I don't doubt that." It had to be urgent if Aaron Hotchner was at your office. You glanced back at Tallie, giving her a tense smile. "Thank you, Tallie. We'll raincheck that phone call with Mr. Burton?"
She nodded, giving a "Yes, ma'am," before she walked past the man in your waiting room to her desk.
Like old times, you couldn't hold back another sigh, but you got your exasperation under control before you walked up to him, if not just to be professional and keep up appearances.
"Agent Hotchner," you greeted, a faux smile on your face. "It's... nice to see you." It was like the words stung coming out of your mouth, and that was because they weren't true. If he was half as good of a profiler as you thought he was, then he'd know that.
If he knew you as well as he thought he did, then he should've known that regardless.
You didn't bother waiting for his greeting; you didn't care for it. "Let's talk in my office." Not a question.
He complied, following you into your office and shutting the door on the way in. With your back still turned to him, you momentarily closed your eyes, willing yourself to have the strength to sit through whatever it was he had to tell you.
When you had it, you turned back around, dropping all the pleasantries now that you were away from prying eyes. "What is it that's so important you couldn't say over the phone?"
He didn't answer. Deep down, you both knew it was because he could've. He didn't need to be here, but instead of agreeing with you, he nodded to the two chairs in front of your desk. "You're not going to offer me a seat?"
You scoffed. "If I did, would you take it?" You're met with silence, another answer in and of itself. It'd been six years, yet you could still read Hotch's tells like a children's book. He didn't like to say anything when he knew you were right.
You took that moment to examine him. He looked the same, just as you left him. Maybe a bit more worn, a bit more tired, and a bit more cold, but weren't you all?
Briefly, you wondered what he was thinking about you.
He got to the point, as he always did. "I have a suspect for the murders of 12 women in D.C. spanning over the past six months," he told you. "His name is Eric Clark. He's the founder and CEO of a new tech start-up here; they're calling him the new Zuckerberg." The sarcasm in his voice when he said that last bit was evident, shining through his monotonous persona.
You were aware of the murders he spoke of, and you were aware of who Eric Clark was. He was invited to some state dinner you just went to. But you didn't say this. Instead, you shrugged like it didn't matter to you and asked him, "So why are you telling me?"
If your nonchalance bothered him, he didn't voice it. He simply explained, "I need a warrant." A warrant, he said, like that sentence stood alone. What he was realling saying was, he needed a warrant, and he needed you to get it for him. More than that, he expected you to get it for him.
That forced a chuckle out of you, even though you didn't feel any humour at all. So that was why he was here; six years go by without any contact, but now that he needed something, here he was.
You felt a strange sense of déjà vu. Hotch needing something and claiming that you were the only one who could give it to him.
"You need a warrant," you echoed, splaying your hands out in front of you. "So go take that up with a judge."
You saw a sudden crack in his calm composure. His eyes narrowed just the slightest bit, so slightly you wouldn't have noticed it if you didn't know what to look for.
But you knew what to look for.
"Come on, Y/N." He said your name like you were just old friends, like this stop by your office was a normal occurence. "Everyone knows you have pull in this city."
You did have pull in this city. In fact, you had pull in just about every city in America; being the U.S. Attorney General gave you that kind of power.
So yes, you had pull, and now Hotch wanted you to pull some strings for him as if you owed him a favour, as if you owed him anything.
You didn't say this, but you were sure that your next words said enough for you. "Where's Gideon? Normally, he's the one to come knocking on my door when the BAU needs something." You found it highly unlikely that he'd ever send Hotch, of all people, on his behalf.
Hotch pursed his lips. "He's on leave."
You made a clicking sound of realization, but it was more mocking than anything since you already gathered as much. That meant he was unit chief now, and that was why he was here. So that's what it took? you thought. All it took was a promotion, obligation, and now he was here.
He was here, checking his watch in your waiting room, marching into your office and shutting the door, clenching his jaw and pursing his lips like he was the one with the right to be mad.
You'd give it to him: Aaron Hotchner sure as hell had guts.
You circled back to the original topic. "Yeah, Hotch, that's not happening." He went to cut you off, but you stopped him by raising a hand. Your were firm as you asserted, "If you're here with me instead of with a judge, that means you have insubstantial evidence. So how about, instead of ambushing me and wasting my precious time, you go back to the drawing board?"��It wasn't a suggestion as much as it was an insult.
His jaw tensed, his eyes hardening as he stared at you. "I am sorry to waste your precious time, but precious lives are at stake." Condescending as ever.
"I undersand that, but you clearly have no probable cause." Or did you forget what that was? you wanted to add, but you kept that part to yourself.
You thought, if he clenched his jaw any harder, it just might break. "I have a profile—"
"Which clearly isn't enough—"
"You of all people should understand the importance of a profile, Y/N."
You took a sharp breath through your nose. It was low of him to say that, and it was also such a profiler of him to say it, mostly because he knew it'd get you.
You weren't always the Attorney General.
Perhaps this is why you agreed. "Fine. I'll go talk to a judge for you."
He sighed, "Thank you." He said it without looking at you, then he was opening your door and walking out, and you nearly thanked him for it.
Six years had gone by.
Yet you wouldn't have been able to tell with the way your heart was racing.
You went on with your day after Hotch left, going through paperwork and dropping by the White House. You had a meeting with the President that day, the President of the United States, the most important person in the whole damn country. That was little old you that did that.
You weren't the same girl he remembered, not that girl from Georgetown who rolled her eyes at every one of his corny jokes, and he wasn't the same guy who'd sit and wait for you the by the bar, either. He was the unit chief now. And you were the Attorney General.
Things were different now.
Or maybe they weren't.
Because Aaron Hotchner came striding into your office just later that night.
Your door flew open, Aaron walking in thereafter with a stone cold frown and determination etched onto his face. It wasn't like the Aaron you knew to frown so much, but that wasn't what you were focused on.
You immediately shot up from your chair and rounded your desk, baffled by his behaviour. "Hey! What the hell do you think you're—"
You didn't get to finish your sentence. Before you could berate him, Aaron's hand was on the back of your head and his lips were slamming into yours. Slamming was the right word. This was fervent, almost violent, like he wanted to bruise you, like he wanted to permanently mold his lips into yours.
Your eyes went wide. You should've pushed him away—you really should have. But it was like you weren't thinking. Like you were on auto-pilot, your hands automatically went to his hair, your lips moving in unison with his.
This was muscle memory. God, how could you have ever forgotten what this felt like? Like ecstasy, and butterflies, and all good things in the world. Kissing him felt like everything all at once.
But everything meant that it came with all the bad in the world, too.
Your senses came back to you as you pushed him away, stumbling backward. You were sure you would've fallen, had your desk not been right behind you. You were heaving, and he was no different.
Fuck. What did you just do?
Your eyes darted to the door, alarm flashing through them. "Tallie—"
He finished your thought, assuring you, "She's gone. I sent her home."
Relief flooded your body. She wasn't here, she didn't see anything. That was good. But then what he said actually hit you. Your eyes narrowed into slits. "You did what?" He rolled his eyes, opening his mouth to retort, but you kept going. "You sent my assistant home?"
"Yes."
You scoffed. He sent your assistant home, and he was just admitting it proudly like it was nothing. Maybe nothing was different after all if Aaron was still here, barging into your life like he owned it, like he owned you.
And perhaps he did.
"You can't— you can't just—"
"I can't what?" he cut you off then took a step closer. "I can't come see you?" Another step. "We used to see each other all the time."
You were already cornered, right against your desk. "That was before," you responded. "Before—" the rest of your sentence got caught in your throat. You had glanced down momentarily, catching sight of his hand in the process. There, something glinted in the light. A golden band.
A wedding ring.
Your chest tightened, your voice getting smaller. "Before that." Even if he wasn't a profiler, it was impossible not to notice the crack in your voice.
You didn't know how you didn't feel the ring when he had his hand on your head.
Confused, Aaron followed your line of sight, right down to his hand. When he realized what you were referring to, he sighed, "Y/N, it's not what you think—"
A humourless chuckle left you. "It never is, is it?" You could count the number of times he'd said that to you. "God, I can't believe it." You chuckled again before your laugh faded into something angrier. No, not angrier. You were furious.
You didn't know if there was even a word in the English language that could describe how furious you were.
"You—" you took a deep breath, stopping yourself from yelling. "You're doing this to me— again?"
"Y/N—"
You slapped his hands away when he tried to put his hands on your arms. You didn't want to feel that fucking ring touch your skin. "Again?!" you seethed. "What, two times wasn't fucking enough for you? You had to go and do this a third time—"
"Please, just—"
You refused to let him get a word out. "No! I don't need any more of your excuses, Hotch!" Lord knew that if you heard them, you might just believe them.
You nearly did the first time.
To think that he had just been in your office hours earlier, acting like he didn't know you, like he didn't break you down just to build you back up and do it all over again.
He could've at least given you the courtesy of leaving you alone, but it appeared that he couldn't even do that. Still, he was defending himself, false conviction lacing through his voice. "Haley and I are separated—"
"Separated?" That forced another chuckle out of you. "Sure, and I'm the Pope."
His glare at you hardened, like he was mad at you "I'm being serious."
Another laugh. He couldn't figure out why the hell you were laughing.
"Haley, haley, haley." Your voice raised. "It's always about fucking Haley." Even when he was with you.
Especially when he was with you.
His jaw locked. "We're not together right now."
You snapped, "Tell that to the fucking ring on your finger, asshole."
It was laughable, really. You were the Attorney General of the United States of America. You sat in one of the highest offices of the land. Yet Aaron Hotchner still had the ability to turn you into putty in his hands.
The Attorney General didn't play second fiddle to anyone.
But you'd always be second to Haley Brooks.
"Get out, Hotchner."
"What?" He had the audacity to look hurt, confused. You didn't understand what there was to be confused about.
You managed to wriggle yourself out of the space where you were stuck between him and your desk, walking to your door and nearly yanking it open, holding it for him wordlessly.
He scoffed. "Y/N, come on—"
You shut him down. "No. I did what you asked earlier. I got you your warrant, therefore we are done. Now get out."
You didn't meet his eyes but you felt them burning into you with the same heat that'd make an unsub crack. It was the same heat that'd make you crack, too, which was precisely why you refused to look at him.
After what felt like a lifetime of staring at you, his footsteps sounded. You didn't look up until you watched his shoes pass you. Immediately, you closed the door, locking it.
Your hand fell around the door handle, your forehead resting against the door. Briefly, you wondered what the sensation in your eyes was, until you realized it was tears.
You hadn't cried in so long.
But whenever Aaron Hotchner came around, tears seemed inevitable.
taglist: @c-losur3
#aaron hotchner x reader#hotch x reader#aaron hotchner#star crossed lovers#forbidden love#i love hotch#aaron hotchner fic#aaron hotchner angst#olitz core#aaron hotch x reader#aaron hotchner fanfiction#aaron hotchner imagine#criminal minds#criminal minds fic#criminal minds x reader#bau#bau x reader#cm fic#olitz#olivia pope#fitzgerald grant#criminal minds fandom#criminal minds fanfic#thomas gibson#haley brooks#hotch and haley
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BBR thoughts 2024
Since I mentioned that I finally dusted off an old project of mine and was ruminating on how I'd remake it, I thought I'd elaborate a little, now that I've solidified some concepts. For funsies
This is gonna be a bit of a long and unfocused one, but I don't share my personal thoughts here often, especially the stuff about my projects I always marinate in. And for once it's something that people have existing context for, so hey why not
So for anyone who hasn't been following me for a gajillion years, The Black Brick Road of OZ was a webcomic that I posted around 2013-2015, back when I was in highschool going on college (which is kinda crazy to think about). It was sort of a darker twist on The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, although I definitely leaned a lot more into dark humor more than anything in those first few chapters
I don't think it's available to read anywhere anymore, and I know people have been asking me about it. So here's the full proper archive of BBR, as full as it can be with deceased Flash
I totally used it as an excuse to shamelessly and self-indulgently experiment. It had interactive pages and GIFs and was wayyy too overproduced for what I could handle or what was necessary, but I did have great fun making it while it lasted
Unfortunately, that excess and the fact that I've changed too much as a person by the time I was in college is what ultimately killed it. The direction I wanted to go in was practically unrecognizable from the original idea started back in 2011, so there were many old hold-ups that I felt ruined it
At the time I kinda wished I could start/rewrite it all over, but considering that I pretty much had the entire script done at that point, it felt like a pointless sisyphean task. So I just put it on a shelf and didn't look back for about 8 years, because I didn't know what else to do
Now to be fair, the nature of my art has always been iterative and cyclical; when I feel like my creative juices have run dry I prefer to leave a project to marinate and move on to something else; cycle through other old things and bring in new skills and perspectives into the mix when I'm ready again. Not very productive, but it is what makes me happy to work on my OCs; I'm doomed to hit a wall with them eventually and I need some time to be able to find a new direction
So that said, I'm glad that BBR was left to marinate for that long. I don't think I was prepared, emotionally or intellectually, to tackle it again until now. The Wizard of Oz book (and the entire series of them, really) has always been near and dear to my heart, but there's a lot of context around it that I'm only unpacking now that I'm older
I think I always inherently feel negatively about the stuff I've made in the past, like its faults always jump out to me more than the positives, especially the more time passes. I've never liked that, and I do really appreciate the kind things people have to say about BBR to this day. The fact that it still can be recognized and remembered is very sweet
When I left it, I already found it "kinda cringe", and that feeling only deepened with years. When I took my first look back at it, asking the question "how would I rewrite it now?", at first I took a very cynical approach, as in "everything would have to be torn down"
But the more I sat on it, the more I found that I still see some merit and charm in the ideas I was putting out; I just didn't know how to execute them at the time (not to pretend that I know what I'm doing now, but I certainly know more at least). Turns out a lot of my old concepts could be changed substantially with just a few small tweaks. So I'd say that's a nicer way to think about my previous work
If you haven't seen yet, I posted a first draft of my new designs for some of the characters (the main group, the Goods and the Wickeds). Definitely subject to change, but more or less how I see them now
I'm just playing with these concepts; by no means would I attempt to remake BBR right this moment. Call it a pipe dream among my other ones. But just for fun, this is the direction I'd like to take:
Nowadays I'd probably make it a visual novel, with more emphasis on the visual part than the novel because I'm no English prose writer by any means. It'd still let me play a little with the interactivity while helping cut some corners on the drawing part (only some, I imagine I'd go hog wild anyway)
I've always intended for some events inspired by the sequel books to take place in BBR's past. Stuff like Jinjur's revolt or Ozma's rule preceeds the main events here. So I think it would be fun to follow the past of a few key characters alongside the main story. One chapter focusing on the present quest to see the Wizard, then one focusing on the past events (that are maybe reflective thematically); rinse and repeat
I'm also sticking a little closer to the original text in some regards. Not everything that I enjoy from the books would be translated here, it's still just a very loose fantasy on the material; but I'd like to be closer in spirit at least
I like mature, wise and powerful Glinda, I like kind and vulnerable Tin Man, I like the Wizard being a pathetic yet loveable liar, so I'm sprinkling in more of that for example
I'd like to keep some whimsy, but make it more grounded and a bit more serious to be coherent in tone. I think the original TWWOOZ book was a more realistic fantasy in some ways, even for the standards of the time; I like its simple but vivid tactile descriptions and details like bringing attention that Dorothy needed to eat and sleep
I find it funny that Baum specifically was averse to making his books scary or unpleasant, finding that unnecessary for telling a compelling kids story, but they still can get pretty dark and disturbing, at least for our modern sensibilities. Let's just say that I intend to use the Evoldo and Chopfyt storylines for my purposes. In that way, I feel like a "darker" Wizard of Oz retelling can still mostly be tonally in line with the original and balance it with enough heart and occasional humor
I slowly grew to appreciate the quaint old-timey quality of the original series, as well. The first book is both timeless and very much a product of the 1900s. Originally I tried to give it a little modern or at least anachronistic spin, but it was moreso because it's what I knew best, so these days I'd rather intentionally lean into the time period. Still not fully historically accurate by any means, but at least directly acknowledging the influence
The events of the story span across 40 years of these characters' lives, so I'm drawing inspiration from the entire so-called La Belle Epoque: the time period around 1880s-1920s. Basically I'm cooking, and my soup is old Victorian fashion morphing into Edwardian fashion and slowly inching towards flappers
Some new Dolly outfits
Lots of crazy things, political changes and innovations were happening at the turn of the century, which I think is noted and reflected by Baum in the books as well; the character of Tik-Tok might not blow any minds now, but he was one of the first robot characters in literature at that point; and don't even get me started on Jinjur, etc. Plenty of really interesting stuff one could lightly ponder in an Oz adaptation these days
Aesthetically, art nouveau has always been a big artistic influence for me, and it'd definitely be its time to shine here. John R. Neill's illustrations of the Oz books often keep me company as well. Nouveau architecture in particular fits that fairytale whimsy extremely well imo
I'd allow myself a little bit of art deco here and there, but ultimately its intimidating geometrical splendor is an antithetical to the flowery nature of nouveau and I associate it with a completely different era. Definitely fitting some characters like my Wicked Witch of the West, but shouldn't be overused
One of my main problems with the original BBR was that eventually I lost track of what it was even about; and the original ending felt too mean and unfulfilling to be worth it. Now I'd like to stick to the theme of home and family as my main theme, but in a different, more bittersweet way than in the book
An interesting connection I made is that a lot of my aforementioned older key characters (the Witches, Jinjur, the Nome King, etc) all came from the same reformatory as kids, that's how they know each other. In my recent research I learned that in those reformatories it was usually frowned upon to release the children back to the families, which were seen as the original corrupting influence regardless of the circumstance. The reformatory did everything in its power to cut that connection and make itself the only family those wayward kids were supposed to know and love. That's an unexpected tie into the theme of home that I'd like to explore as well
So yeah that's the current state of it. I have a bunch of outfit concepts I'm slowly cooking, although I'm now sure whether I'd post them... But I do miss these funny guys, and I'm glad some people still do as well :)
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i’m not the biggest fan of pools and such but jake is soo the type to splash water on you in order to make you get in so he can see you all wet and eventually make out with you 🙄
imagine BROTHER'S BFF!JAKE who is spending every summer at your house since your teenagers years because your parents have a pool. however, since you were older than your brother heeseung, you left for college before them. jake missed you, because he had a crush on you, but also because you were someone he truly trusted and appreciated. now, the only time when he got to see you was when you would come back for holydays. and he took advantage of that and of the fact that you were single to flirt with you every chance he got. and it didn't matter if you rejected him every time because he could see the faint smile on your face.
so when jake learned that your parents will leave this summer but that you would be here, he was over the moon because it was finally his chance to seduce you. and truth be told, you had already been charmed a long time ago. but jake was younger, even if it was just one year, and mostly, he was your brother's best friend. it should be wrong, but the way he was eyeing you ever since you laid down on your deckchair, letting the sun hit your uncovered skin. and jake was glad he was in the pool and you couldn't see how hard he was in his swimsuit only because you were wearing the skimpiest bikini known to mankind.
heeseung left earlier because he was working tonight, leaving you and jake alone. and he knew it was his chance to do something about his aching dick and the fat crush he had on you since middle school. "hey, y/n." you hummed as you sat up, but before you could even take off your sunglasses to take a proper look at him, he splashed water at you. you gasped at the fresh liquid hitting your warm skin. but a second after, you were throwing your glasses to the side and jumping in the pool to get back at him. you tried your best to splash water at each other, trying to push his head underwater but you forgot that he's been overpowering you for quite some time because he had started working out - and he looked a little too good too. so you weren't even surprised when he succeeded in pining you against the pool wall, his breathe hitting your lips from how close he was too you, his eyes dipping into your clevage.
"got you, pretty girl." - "it's not fair, you're too strong now." - "i'm not a kid anymore." you knew that, better than he could ever imagine since he was the only thing you could think about when you were touching yourself, imagining it was his fingers reaching deeper into you, imagining it was him eating you out with this tongue of his that he was only sticking out when you were making fun of him. jake noticed how your gaze darkned, how your eyes zeroed on his lips. "yeah, i know. you're much more than that."
you didn't know if you kissed him first, or if he did, but it didn't matter when he was devoring your mouth like that, holding you by your thighs as you wrapped your legs around his waist to pull him closer. the friction between his obvious hard on and the thin material of your bikini bottom felt so good you both moaned into each other mouth, your nails digging into his muscular shoulders as he started to grin against you.
"fuck, you feel so good pretty, i knew you would, been wanting this, wanting you for years." - "shit ! me too jakey, i need you so bad." jake groaned in his deep voice that always made you wet as he slid his hands under the soaked material of your top, gropping your breast harshly. he relished in the way you were already whining out his name, holding onto him. and he needed to hear more of them, to taste more of you.
"sit on the edge baby, i want a taste of your pretty little pussy." you didn't questionned his request, nor did you think about the nieghbords when you did what he wanted, and let jake push the piece of clothing covering your cunt aside, and dive into your wetness. and nothing else mattered, nothing else beside the way jake was gripping your plush thights, nothing else beside the way jake was lapping at your cunt and sucking on your clit, whimpering against your fold because he was already addicted to you. and it was needless to mention that both of you were glad that your brother worked tonight.
#he gives out this vibe of summer crush i can't get over it#eli answering your questions#dinna's asks#eli's moots#enhypen hard hours#enhypen hard thoughts#enhypen smut#jake x reader#jake smut#jake hard hours#jake hard thoughts
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Don't Be So Hard (Steddie X Plus Size You)
"Don't be so hard on yourself The name of the game is humiliation, And thanks for your admiration. I never thought I'd say this: The way that we play has its confrontation, And guilt by association."
A/N: New version of these beings for me to try out. Thank you @bimbobaggins69 for the idea by just being amazing <3.
This take place 10 years after events in season 4 so about 1996.
Warnings: Older Dom (30s) Coach Steve Harrington/Older Dom (30s) Professor Eddie Munson & Young (20s) Fem Plus size Sub Student Y/N (whew! That's a mouth full lol), SMUT, spanking, choking, degrading, voyeurism, use of sir, FLUFF, Eddie and Steve have an established relationship. ANGST (because I'm me), reader is plus size and gets name called by the jocks (they call her names like piggy), one of them does assault her (pushes her and yells at her; brief), Steddie saves the day, mentions of reader staring in a play that makes her anxious due to her body.
This whole dynamic is technically angsty (which is why I love it muahaha).
Word Count: 8679
“I fucking hate schools.”, you grumble under your breath as you hit snooze on your alarm for the fifth time that morning. The beginning of your junior year spring semester at Hawkins University started today but the idea of getting out of bed sounded exhausting. In Hawkins, everyone was in everyone else’s business and being the bigger girl some of the jocks felt the need to butt in more than anyone else.
“Hey Y/N. Did you put on more weight this summer? Those jeans look like they’re about to pop!”
“Should you be eating that, piggy? Maybe try a salad every now and then.”
You thought when you left high school, you wouldn’t have to deal with this crap anymore but unfortunately some of it followed you to college.
When you finally made it to your first class it was right before it began so you could avoid any unwanted conversation. You weren’t so lucky.
“Heeeeeeey, Y/N.”, football star Martin Click cooed obnoxiously as he leaned towards you from his seat above yours. “I was hoping we’d have some classes together, piggy. I missed you over the summer. You couldn’t bother to dress up for me?”
“Oh, sorry Martin, if I had known we would be sharing a class I would have made myself uglier but unfortunately for me that’s impossible since I’m so fucking sexy. Maybe you can tutor me on how to be a sloppy asshole.”
The breathy laugh that echoed to your ears caught you off guard as you glanced up towards the front of the classroom and met the chocolate eyes of your new Literature & Writing professor.
“I’m sorry.”, you whisper as red paints your face.
“No, no. No reason to be sorry. I thought it was a good comeback.”, he grinned making you blush even more. “Mr. Click, should I tell Coach Harrington that you’re more focused on ladies attire than my class or are we going to behave this semester?”
Rolling his eyes, Martin leaned back in his chair making the professor smugly smirk as he winked in your direction.
“As I’m sure ya’ll are aware, I’m professor Munson and if you’re here because of my reputation then I will kindly ask you to leave. I’m not here to talk about my past or my family history.”
You had heard rumors about Eddie Munson and of course knew all about him being on the run back when you were little. You parents never let you leave the house or play outside for fear that the “satanic Hawkins killer” would snatch you up and make you his next victim. As you grew up and read more about what happened, it seemed less to you like he did anything at all and obviously the chief agreed because Mr. Munson was never tried or did any prison time.
No, you weren’t interested in his past. You were interested in the things he could teach you. After overhearing one of his lectures, you were fascinated with the way he told a story and explained the material. He got so animated to an adorable degree and as a theater major you thought it would be fun to see how he interpreted literature while getting the final English credit you needed.
When no one moved he smiled and began talking about usual first day things such as the syllabus and what to expect over the semester. After the class had ended and everyone left, you stayed behind and quietly made your way to his desk.
“Hey, um, I’m sorry if I was rude or—”
“I didn’t think you were rude. If anything, he was and definitely needed to be put in his place.”, he interrupted without looking your way as he sorted through papers in front of him. “You’re Y/N, right?”
“Yes, sir. Y/N Y/L/N.”
“Yeah, I’ve seen some of the plays you were in on campus here. I dragged my friend to see A Midsummer Night’s Dream and you actually got him to pay attention.”, Mr. Munson smiled as he finally lifted his head to look your way. “You were very good.”
“Oh, um, thank you very much. That means a lot coming from you.” He tilts his head at your comment as blush fills your cheeks again. “I just meant I’ve seen some of your lectures before and you’re an amazing storyteller. You excite me, I mean you make me want to pay attention to, I mean… ok, let’s pretend I just left right after class and didn’t just embarrass myself.”
Hugging your books to your chest, you power walk out the door as his chuckle fills your ears.
***
With a break between periods, you hastily headed for the gym after lunch to change and get out on to the track by the field. Contrary to popular belief, you were fairly athletic despite your size and enjoyed letting off steam as you pumped your legs as fast as they could take you.
As your music blared loudly in your ears, the feeling of eyes watching you grabbed your attention towards the bleachers where Coach Harrington was standing with his arms crossed and leaning to the side as Professor Munson balanced his arm on his shoulder, murmuring something to him as their eyes followed you.
Trying to block them out, you continued to focus on the path in front of you but was blindsided when a football whizzed past your nose almost hitting you.
“Whoa! Sorry, piggy. Have to keep your eyes open around here.”, Martin laughs as you roll your eyes.
Glancing their way, you noticed both men were standing straighter as if prepared to defend you if needed. You weren’t a weak little girl and for whatever reason you strongly felt like you needed to show them that. As you pick up the football one of the players lifts his hands running towards you as if expecting you to not be able to throw it but at the last minute you throw a perfect spiral to their coach who doesn’t even hesitate as he lifts his hands and catches it seamlessly from the air.
“Well, shit, gentlemen. Looks like I have a new passer.”
“Oh, no thank you, Coach Harrington. If I ever played a sport it would be with a team that doesn’t suck.”
Again, Mr. Munson snicked through his teeth as the man he was leaning on flashed you a big grin.
#############
That night you decided to run after hours, thinking you would be alone but were surprised when you saw Coach Harrington on the track.
“Shit! Sorry, you scared the hell out of me.”, he nervously chuckled.
“I’M sorry. I thought no one would be out here.”
“Yeah, normally there aren’t.”, he teased raising an eyebrow at you. “Well, don’t let me stop you.”
As he took off continuing to jog, you pushed your headphones on your head and started your run. After a couple of laps with you in your zone, your feet abruptly slipped out from under you as you tumbled forward onto the gravel.
“Whoa!”, Coach Harrington shouted in concern as he ran to your side and kneeled down. “Are you alright?”
“Ow. Yeah, I just…tripped. Fuck that hurt.”
“Let me see.” Without any hesitation, his hand gripped your leg and looked it over. “Oof, you may have a pretty good bruise there but you should be alright.” Rising to his feet, he extended his hand to you to help you up which you eagerly accepted while he gripped you tightly and led you towards the bleachers. “You must have been deep in thought because you passed me a couple of times and didn’t even turn your head.”
“I did? Yeah, I’m sorry. I just have some things on my mind.”
“No, I know what you mean. Eddie—Professor Munson told me what happened in his class. If any of those guys bother you again, please let me know. I’ll make them run laps or even sit them out of a game if I have to. Nothing scares these kids more than not being able to play.”
You knew of Steve Harrington mostly because of his parents. The Harrington’s were prominent members of the community and very well respected. In your high school there had been pictures of him from his days on the basketball and swim team when he was a student.
After he graduated, other rumors began to circulate about him spending time with the “freaks of Hawkins” but who cares. Not you especially since you had been labeled a freak since elementary.
“I, um, I hope you didn’t take offense to what I said. Your team doesn’t suck just…some of your players. I mean, not their playing ability just their personalities. FUCK, why can’t I talk today?”
His smile widens as he laughs from his gut making you don your own smile.
Coach Harrington’s eyes meet yours for a moment before a controlled laugh escapes his lips.
“What, um, what were you listening to so loud that you didn’t hear me yelling for you to slow down?”
Giggling, you gesture towards your Walkman.
“Just some CD I burned to get me pumped. Right now, it’s playing ‘Master of Puppets’ by Metallica. Have you heard that song?”
Something dark flashes over his face before he awkwardly nods and gets up leaving you alone on the bleachers as you stare after him.
***
“Are you fucking kidding me?”, you growl as you push on the girl’s locker room door to find it locked. “What is going on with me this semester?”
Glancing around and seeing no one, you brave the boy’s locker room, finding it open, assuming that in his weird state, maybe, Mr. Harrington forgot to lock up. As quickly as you could you showered and began to change into some comfy clothes.
The sound of something hitting the wall nearby froze you in fear as you gaze scanned the area.
No one nearby. It could be the janitor cleaning the coach’s office.
Quietly, you threw your things over your shoulder and tiptoed that way with the intention of ducking under the window of the area so you weren’t seen but the muffled sound of moaning had you pausing again.
“Mmm…Steve…Steven. Wh-What’s wrong, baby? Talk to me.”
“Your student that you talk about…Y/N…she was listening to that song you played in the upside down. I just…it made me think of us…us finding you.”
“Hey. Hey, hey, sweetheart. It’s ok. I’m ok. I’m right here, Steve. You saved me.”
Peeking through the window, you saw their forehead’s pressed together as Eddie gently caressed his cheek with his thumbs. A small sigh left your lips when they began to kiss each other again. With a bit of needy force, Steve turned him around and pulled his back flush to his chest. Gently nibbling on his neck, he reached around and unbuckled Eddie’s pants, pushing them down to free his cock that he promptly began stroking.
Fuck me he’s big.
You practically drooled at the sight, licking your lips as your palm absently glided under your shirt to rub your tummy.
With his free hand, Steve sloppily yanked down his sweats making you moan as you watched him spit in his palm and rub it between Eddie’s cheeks before gradually guiding himself into his entrance.
“Fuck, Steve. That’s it, baby.”
Clinging to each other tightly, Steve thrust his hips at a steady rhythm and you marveled at the sight as your fingers drifted into your own sweatpants and you began circling your clit.
“H-Harder, Steve, please.”
“Please.”, you whisper as you try to keep your eyes open and on them.
“Like this, honey? Fuck you feel so good, Eddie. I love you.”
Arching his back, your professor craned his neck to kiss the man’s lips as he pumped into him as hard as he could without hurting him.
“I love you to, baby. Shit, I’m going to cum. Cum with me, Steve.”
Nodding aggressively, he chased their highs until both men grunted and came. While they softly kissed each other your body trembled as you covered your mouth, trying to stifle your moans as the coil snapped. It wasn’t enough as both their heads turned meeting your eyes as you were coming down from cloud 9.
No one moved as the three of you stared each other.
Holding up his hands in surrender, Steve pulled out as Eddie straightened up, worry painting both their faces.
“Y/N…”
Before they could do anything else, you turned and quickly ran out of the locker room.
##############
What the fuck was I thinking?! I shouldn’t have watched them. Two teachers in the MALE locker room while I was touching myself. Shit. I’m going to be expelled for sure.
Sitting on the stage of your theater class, you focused on the script in front of you as you prepared for an audition your professor recommended. Mrs. Lilah always felt constrained by Hawkins when it came to material but this year she quiet literally said fuck them and decided to do Rocky Horror Picture Show.
As you read through your lines for Magenta, a clearing throat caught your attention.
“Hey Eddie!”, your theater teacher beamed as she waved at him and he smiled back before jumping onto the stage to sit beside you. He smelled strongly like cigarettes and a dash of cologne that had your head spinning as you continued to keep your eyes on the paper in front of you.
“Hey Lilah. I hope I’m not disturbing anything. I just need to talk to Y/N here about an assignment real quick.”
“No problem. She does have her audition for Janet in a few minutes and I’m dying to see her interpretation.”
That caught your attention as your head swiveled her way.
“I’m doing what now?”
“For Janet, honey. I think you’d be perfect. She’s a bit timid at first but comes out of her shell.”
“But…but…she’s in a bra for a good chunk of the play.”
“Yeah…does that make you uncomfortable?”
“Hm, yeah, Y/N, does people seeing your body in the shadows in an intimate way make you uncomfortable?”, Eddie murmured low enough so only you could hear.
“Let’s just do the audition and if you prove me right, we can talk about the wardrobe, ok?”
Flashing her a timid smile, you turn to give your attention to your professor.
“I’m sorry.”
“For what? Skipping my class this morning? Oh, you mean when you watched me and my boyfriend have sex in the boy’s locker room?”
“The girl’s one was locked and I needed to shower—”
“That explains why you were in the locker room but not why you were there watching. Are you going to run and tell all your little friends about how you saw the murderous freak fucking the pretty, rich football coach?”
“What? No. I would never—”
“Mhmm. Look how much will it take to keep your mouth shut?”
“Nothing. I don’t—”
“Please, Y/N! Everyone has a price and Steve doesn’t deserve to lose all he’s worked hard for. So, tell me—”
“Will you let me talk!?” Glancing around to make sure no one heard your outburst; you lower your voice as you continue. “I don’t want anything or any money. I won’t tell anyone. I genuinely don’t care about your private lives. I’m really sorry I watched. I shouldn’t have…I just…”
Your professor’s eyes focused intently on you as he waited for you to continue.
“I was attracted. The way you two kiss and the way he holds you…no one’s ever been that way with me…” When your eyes dared to finally meet his, you expected anger but those gorgeous chocolate irises displayed a softness you appreciated. “I swear, Mr. Munson, I won’t tell anyone. Your secret is safe with me.”
Nodding, he jumped down from the stage before turning to face you again.
“I think under the circumstances you can call me Eddie. Not in class but… I also think you should play Janet. You’re a very beautiful young lady. Don’t let any of these superficial idiots take away that lead role from you just because of how you look.”
#############
A couple of weeks had passed and nothing of note happened with school or your classes. You were cast as Janet, allowing Eddie’s advice to drive you as you maneuvered the role. Your professor and Coach Harrington had minimal contact with you but you always felt their eyes following you around.
Tonight, you were studying in the Hawkins diner off campus. You preferred it here then the library after hours because not only could you munch on some delicious food but no one was usually there that you knew.
As the bell above the door dinged, you glanced up from the novel Eddie had you guys reading to see said professor and his boyfriend entering the establishment and taking a seat. You couldn’t help but wonder how hard being out like this must be for them. They couldn’t share a booth or be flirty. They couldn’t hold hands or kiss, at least not visibly where people could see. You hated that for them since both seemed like good men. You wondered why they stayed behind here in this terrible little conservative town instead of moving anywhere else.
Hoping to slip out unnoticed and allow them privacy this time, you gathered your things and placed some money on the table.
“Is that my favorite piggy?”
You roll your eyes at the sound of Martin’s voice as you try to ignore him and head out the door. A hand abruptly grabs you but you slap it away.
“Don’t touch me.”, you hiss.
“Oh, come on, Y/N. It’s Saturday and we just left an awesome party. Can’t you and I get along for once?!” His friends around the table behind him snickered as a big devilish smile stretched across his face.
“If you weren’t such a fucking dick maybe. Now leave me alone.”
As you storm out the front door to your car, something tugs your backpack, ripping it open as all your books and papers tumble to floor. Martin’s hand wraps around your throat and pushes you against the trunk of your car.
“You will show some fucking respect especially in front of my friends.”
“Aw, did little Martin get his feelings hurt?”, you sass. “Didn’t realize you had any.”
Your knee rises as you hit him in his stomach but he’s still faster as his palm reaches out to grab your shirt tugging you down hard onto the pavement.
Abruptly, someone grabs his own jacket collar and tosses him roughly away from you as Eddie quickly maneuvers around them both, kneeling to your level.
“Are you ok, sweetheart? Can you stand?” Silently nodding, you take the hand he offers to you and rise to your feet. He notices immediately that your blouse is torn and without hesitation shimmies out of his leather jacket and places it around your shoulders.
“Mr. Click, on Monday, you will see me in my office.”, Coach Harrington growled as he glared at the boy.
“Oh, fuck you! That fat little whore pushed me into it!”
“HEY!”, he bellowed making you jump as your teacher rubbed your shoulders comfortingly. “I would advise you to stop speaking. You’re already in a lot of trouble.”
“Pfft, you think I’m scared of you, Steve Harrington?! Yeah, my parents told me all about you and the disappointment you became to Hawkins. You’re fucking pathetic! I’m surprised they even hired you to coach us let alone your friend the freak! I guess those satanic rituals DO fucking work.”
The man’s body language stiffened before he did that controlled chuckle you had heard before.
“Alright, Martin, we can do this right now then. I was only going to suspend you but you know, since I’m so fucking pathetic I think I’ll just go all in. You’re off my team.”
“WHAT?!”
Turning around, he ignored the boy’s continued expletives as he faced you both.
“Eddie, get her books and all her things. We’ll take her back to our house, if that’s ok with you.”, he asked pointedly in your direction. All you could do was nod and try to bend down to get your thing but the metalhead stopped you before descending to the concrete to collect your things.
“YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME! YOU’LL REGRET THIS!”
“Take it up with the dean. Until then on Monday, I want your shit out of my locker room or else I will throw it in the garbage. Come on, guys.”
Coach Harrington opened the back seat door for you, startling you when he closed the door a bit too hard.
***
When they parked outside of a home, neither moved as Eddie’s eyes scanned over his partner’s face.
“You ok, babe?”
His ringed fingers reached out to caress through his hair and in the rearview mirror you could see Steve close his eyes as he exhaled.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Let’s get inside.”, he answered curtly as he came around and opened your door and you followed both men inside. You stood in their living room silently as they threw their keys down and Eddie disappeared down a hallway.
When he came back, he handed you a t-shirt that read “Def Leopard: Tour of 88!”
“Go put this on and we can see about fixing your own.”
His eyes followed you as you entered their bedroom where the bathroom was located and shut the door. Removing your blouse, you could see a slight bruise forming where the strap of your backpack had been on your shoulder and some redness around your neck where Martin had grabbed you. Swallowing your pain at the sight, you put on the shirt they provided and folded his jacket, placing it nicely on the countertop.
Your eyes took in their fairly average bathroom, smirking slightly at the hair gel you imagined was Steve’s as Eddie’s hair was always wild even during class when he pulled it back. Both their colognes and bathroom products were side by side like any couples but the few things you knew about them had each personality standing out. Cigarettes were by the window near the bathtub where you imagined Eddie smoked as they took a bath together. On the floor by the shower, were some handheld barbells you imagined Steve used while Eddie took a shower or got ready so they could talk to each other about their days.
Walking back out to their bedroom, you noticed a guitar against the wall and grinned at its slightly cheesy 80s aesthetic. You remembered once hearing that Eddie Munson used to be in a band but for the life of you couldn’t remember the name. You wondered if he still played.
“Your student that you talk about…Y/N…she was listening to that song you played in the upside down. I just…it made me think of us…us finding you.”
What could he have meant by that…
Your gaze shifted to their dresser that had a vanity mirror attached with pictures taped to it. There were so many images of them together that made your smile widen but there were also photos of Steve with a young lady you remember seeing around Hawkins. She used to work at Family Video until a few years ago but you weren’t sure where she moved on to from there. Did you remember Steve there? No… you were pretty young though and focused on your own carefree life.
There were pictures of Eddie with the Hellfire club. They were still active when you went to Hawkins High filled with a cool group of kids you hung out with from time to time. There were whispers of the man that created it but everyone in the club always said good things about the former Dungeon Master.
They must have been in two different worlds in high school.
What must have happened to bring them together?
“Steven, you need to calm down.”
The sound of Eddie’s voice caught your attention after something loud slammed in the kitchen. You tiptoed down their hallway and paused on the other side of the wall.
“Fucking asshole kid, I swear to God.”
“Baby, it’s not the first time someone has said those things to us and it won’t be the last especially since we chose to stay here.”
“We didn’t exactly choose and that’s not why I’m upset.”
“Why then?”
“She…she seems like a nice girl.”
“She IS a nice girl.” Eddie sighs as he lowers his voice. “Steven, she’s a student and a lot younger than us.”
“Not a lot. Jesus, you make us sound ancient. She’s, what, how old you were when you graduated high school.”
“Hey, ok first off, rude.” They both giggle making you grin. “Second, again, she’s a student. She’s MY student. I could get in way more trouble than you.”
“Like that’s ever stopped you.”
“I swear, sweetheart, don’t we have enough chaos fucking hiding our relationship?”
“Oh, come on, Ed, you don’t like her?”
“I didn’t say that. I just… yeah, she’s beautiful and adorable and… fuck. We shouldn’t talk about this with her here.”
Collecting your bearings, you walk around the wall and knock on it lightly.
“Hey, there she is. I, uh, I fixed your backpack. Let me, um, see if I can salvage this top for you here.”, Eddie smiles as he takes it from your hands and heads for their couch.
“I didn’t know you could sew.”
“Mhmm. I can’t like whip up a brand new outfit or anything but I can patch things together.”
“Are you alright? Do you need any Band-Aids or an ice pack?”, Steve asks from his place by the counter.
“No, I’m ok. My throat is a bit sore but…” You don’t even finish your sentence before he’s turning around and grabbing an ice pack from the freezer, wrapping it in a rag, and sitting in front of you on their coffee table to place it on your neck. “Thank you. I like being choked but not like that or by that asshole.”
They both glance at each other as you blush.
“Yeah, probably not a joke to make right now. Sorry.”
“You apologize a lot.”, Eddie says from behind you.
“Sorry.” They laugh making you grin to yourself as you look down at your feet. “I hope I didn’t get you in trouble. I’m not…actively…trying to do that.”
“Oh, no worries, honey. Trust me. What is he going to say? ‘Coach Harrington kicked me off the team after I drunkenly assaulted a girl?’ I’m pretty sure the dean will side with me on that one.”
Your silence makes them nervous and they exchange another look.
“What are you thinking about, Y/N?”
“I’m thinking about how I never expected Martin to do what he did. He’s been mean to me since freshman year but never aggressive like that.”
“You know that wasn’t your fault, right, princess?”
“Yeah, I know. I…I…” Unable to control them, the tears began to flow and a ring laced hand delicately reached for your shoulder, moving the things in his lap aside so he could hold you to his chest. Steve placed his own palm on your jeaned thigh and comfortingly rubbed against the material.
Once again you were engulfed in the scent of Eddie’s cigarettes and cologne as his cheek rested on the top of your head. You couldn’t explain why but you felt safe here with their hands on you encased between them.
It had been a few months since your last relationship and you could feel yourself dropping into that particular headspace the longer they comforted you.
“I’m…I’m also thinking…about what I saw that night…in the locker room. How you two took care of each other…”
All movement on your body ceased as they even held their breathes.
“H-How about we get you home, Y/N? I can give you this shirt after our next class.”
Eddie lightly pushed you to the side as he tried to stand but you hastily grabbed his arm stopping him.
“I heard you. You said I was beautiful and sweet.”
As your little voice flowed through his ears, his eyes squeezed shut trying to keep control.
“Y/N, maybe, he’s right. Maybe, we should get you home before—”
“Before what, Steve?” This was the first time you were using his name out loud and the notion sent tingles all through your body feeling like a little girl who misbehaved.
“Hey. You show him respect, little girl. That’s Mr. Harrington or sir.”, Eddie scolded in gruff tone.
“Edward…”
“No, Steven. Little girl wants to play with the grownups, then that’s how we will treat her. Now, we said, you’re going home. Grab your things and head towards the front door.”
“Why did you bring me back here, Mr. Munson? You could have taken me back to my dorm but you didn’t. Why?”
“Because people shouldn’t be seeing a professor drop off a student on campus.”
“But Steve said he was taking me to your house out loud to Martin.”
The man’s hand firmly came down on the side of your thigh making you yelp as you bit your bottom lip.
“He said show me respect.”
“I’m sorry, Mr. Harrington.” Placing your hand on top of his, your thumb tenderly ran along his skin as you leaned against Eddie’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, Mr. Munson. Like I said…no one has ever taken care of me or looked out for me the way you two do with each other.”
You were slightly surprised when his fingers gently came around and brushed your hair away from your face.
“We brought you back here because we thought you were safer with us here. After what he did, we thought that’s what you needed.”
“Am I not safe here?”, you whisper as you can’t help but rub your thighs together.
“Y/N… Eddie and I have been through a lot. What you saw in my office isn’t always how we are when we’re intimate. We’re not always…soft.”
“But I promise you, princess, we are nothing like Martin. If you wanted to leave…right now…that’s ok. We can take you home or call you a cab if that makes you more comfortable.”
He was giving you an out; they both were. You could leave right now and the three of you could pretend this never happened. You could pretend that Steve’s large hand on your upper thigh wasn’t turning you on as you thought about how those long fingers would feel inside of you. You could pretend that Eddie’s touch wasn’t getting progressively slower as the pads of his own fingers traced your cheek making your pussy clench around nothing. You could pretend the notion of doing something you shouldn’t and being at the mercy of these two men’s wills didn’t drive you crazy. You could do that…
Or…
“I don’t mind it not being soft, Mr. Harrington. I trust you and Mr. Munson.” Both men exchanged on final look of caution before your last sentence pushed caution to the wind. “Please, I need you.”
“I think since you saw us in vulnerable position we should get the same courtesy.”, Steve replied in a much huskier tone than before. Taking your hands in his, he pulled you to your feet and pushed the coffee table out of the way before taking the seat you had just been in. On impulse, Eddie leaned closer to him as the other boy wrapped his arm around his shoulder.
“Go ahead, Y/N.”
As your eyes shifted between their heavy gazes, you lifted off the shirt he gave you, unbuttoned your pants, and shimmied them a bit clumsily down your legs.
You stood there waiting for more instruction as they continued to stare at your body.
“Did you see our cocks?”
“Yes.”
Steve smirked as his boyfriend began to kiss his neck while his palm traveled along his chest down his stomach.
“Yes, what?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Remember that, Y/N. I don’t like repeating myself and Eddie is a lot nicer than I am in here.”
“I’m sorry, Mr. Harrington.”
Steve’s eyes fluttered when the metalhead’s palm grazed the bulge in his jeans.
“Now, if you saw or cocks, then why are you stopping?”
“You said…I should be vulnerable, sir.”
Your small voice had them groaning as Eddie fumbled with the pretty boy’s belt almost desperately.
“Fuck. Don’t move.” He commanded towards you as his head turned to capture his boyfriend’s lips. Lifting his hips, he helped Eddie blindly pull his jeans down just enough to free his length. As he started to lean over his lap, Steve hastily stopped him with a smile. “You don’t want to see her, honey?”
He chuckled as he focused his attention back on you.
“Do you feel vulnerable, Y/N?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Hm. Not enough to not finger yourself out in the open though, huh? I mean at least you had pants on.”
“I-I-I wasn’t…I wasn’t thinking—”
“No, you weren’t. Take off the rest so we can see you.”
While doing what he said, you watched as Steve pushed down Eddie’s pants as well and both men kissed passionately in front of you as they stroked each other’s cocks.
“Y/N, is there anything we should know? Anything we should avoid?”
“No, Mr. Munson.”, you answered, appreciating his soft tone as he asked his series of questions.
“You said you liked being choked but is there anything physical we shouldn’t do?”, Eddie groaned out as Steve lifted off his shirt.
You heard his question but couldn’t form an answer as your eyes starred at the scars that littered his chest. They looked like whatever wound created them was deep, possibly life threatening. What could have happened to him?
“HEY!”, he barked making you jump. “He said he’s not as nice as me but that doesn’t mean I’m easy going! Now, answer the fucking question, little girl.”
“I’m sorry, sir. N-No, I don’t mind being hit or p-punished. Mr. Munson, what happened?”
As you started to step forward, both sets of brown eyes glared your way freezing you in place.
“Do you know the stop light system?”, Steve growled in a much rougher tone than you were prepared for. Nodding curtly after reciting it to them, he got up and grabbed your arm, sitting you between them. “Now, we do have some rules, Y/N. The first rule is the most important. DON’T ask about our scars.”
“Our?”
Steve slowly lifted off his own shirt and tossed it to the side. He didn’t have as many scars as Eddie but they were just as deep and looked similar. Whatever happened must have happened to both of them.
“I’m so sorry you both went through…whatever hurt you.”, you coo as you reach out to graze your fingers down Eddie’s chest.
The darkness in their eyes faltered slightly at your sincerity and the metalhead took your hand in his, tenderly kissing the back of it.
“Second rule. You have to be vocal, Y/N. If at any point you feel uncomfortable, we need you to say red ok?”
“Yes, sir, Mr. Munson. “
“Good. Good girl.”
His praise made you giddy as you blush making him smile.
“Can I kiss you?”
“I have one more question, princess. Have you ever done anything like this before?”
“Yes and no.”
“Yeah, we’re going to need you to clarify that.”, Steve laughs.
“I’ve done rough stuff with dominate partners before. I’ve never been with two men before.”
The way you said the word men had Eddie’s eyebrow quirking upward.
“Are you trying to tell us you’ve only been with boys your age?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Why did you feel the need to tell us that?”
“Do we make you nervous?”, Steve asks as his fingers dance up your arm.
“Yes b-but not because of you two, Mr. Harrington. I just wanted you to know j-just in case I’m not as ‘experienced’ as you both.”
Eddie’s palms cupped your cheeks as he brought your lips to his. You weren’t surprised by the nicotine that lingered there but you were by the tingle that ran through your body as his tongue caressed your own. When he pulled away you tried to lean forward for more but his grip held firm.
“We weren’t expecting you to be, pretty girl. You’ve only ever been with these little boys but you’re about to be fucked by real men, sweetheart. Trust us, we know how to take care of you.”
You moaned at his promise, turning towards Steve to crash your lips with his. He was a much more determined kisser, his mouth and tongue sending that same shock wave through to your core.
“Have you ever sucked a cock as big as mine?”, he panted against your lips.
As you shake your head, his fingers grab your throat just below your jaw as if purposely avoiding where Martin had hurt you.
“What did I say? How do you answer us?”
“I’m sorry. No, sir, I’ve never sucked a dick as big as either of you.”
Sitting back, his palm moved to the back of your neck, guiding you down over his leaking tip as Eddie adjusted your body till you were on all fours for them.
“Fuck me, Steve. She is so fucking wet. Her pussy is just tripping down her thighs.”
“Aw, you like being a bad girl, don’t you, honey?”
“Y-yes, Mr. Harrington. I like being a bad girl.”
“Open your mouth.” Doing as he directed, you quickly kissed his slit making him mewl before fully taking him between your awaiting lips. “Yes, oh my god. T-That’s a good girl.”
Eddie’s fingers glided through your folds causing your eyes to roll as you bobbed your head.
“Steve, baby, Jesus, she’s so fucking tight.”, the metalhead groaned as his palm came down hard on your ass.
“Yeah, Y/N? Did that feel good? You like when your professor spanks you?”
Yanking your hair roughly he tugs you off of him as you continue to stroke him with your hand.
“I didn’t hear that, little girl. What did you say?”
“Y-Yes, sir, I like when Mr. Munson spanks me.”
At your response he spanks you again right as he guides two of his digits into your core. Gripping you tighter, Steve forces your mouth on him again and holds you still as he thrusts his hips allowing his cock to hit the back of your throat.
“Good girl. That’s it, Y/N. Keep your throat open for me.”
Abruptly, Eddie swats his boyfriend’s hand and tugs on your shoulder, guiding you down the hallway to their bedroom and tossing you onto their bed. After completely removing the rest of his clothes, he climbs between your legs and runs his wide, flat tongue through your pussy up to your clit.
“Oh shit.”, you moan as your back arches into the feeling before yelping when his palm smacks your cunt.
“Watch your mouth, little girl.”
“I’m sorry, sir. I’m sorry.”
Steve chuckles as he climbs in beside you both placing his knees by your head as his fingers grip your hair again.
“Can’t really blame her. I know how amazing your tongue feels. Then again, you may have some competition, babe, because her fucking mouth feels so good.”
Pride washes over you at his praise as you grip his cock and take him as far back as you can trying to continue to please him.
“I-It’s ok, honey. We can train this little throat. As—fuck—as you know, Eddie’s a wonderful teacher.” His boyfriend tosses him a smirk as his tongue flicks faster against your bud. “Are you going to cum? Cum, Y/N. Cum all over his face.”
Your hips grinded against him as the man’s mouth wrapped around your bundle of nerves and he pushed two of his fingers rapidly inside of you as the sound of your arousal to fill the room.
Steve backed away from you, allowing you to focus and breathe as your orgasm washed over you. As you came down from your high, Eddie lightly slapped between your legs making you jump and groan.
“Sensitive. I like that.”
Tilting towards their bedside table, he paused as their eyes met.
“Shit. I don’t have any condoms.”
“What?”, Steve almost wined as you tried to contain your smile at their desperate need for you.
“Steve, we’ve been together for almost 10 years. When was the last time we used a fucking condom?”, Eddie growled.
“We’ve been talking about adding someone to our dynamic for a while now.”
“Yeah but I wasn’t prepared for it to be tonight with a fucking student!”
“Excuse me.”, you finally pipe up. “I’m on the pill. I can understand if you still don’t want to but…I’m safe. And like I said, I trust you.”
Both men exchange a glance and you can’t help but giggle up at them.
“So how long were you going to wait before you said anything, huh?”
“Mr. Munson, you didn’t ask. I wanted to be a good girl and only speak when spoken to.”
They narrow their eyes playfully at you for a moment before Eddie grabs your jaw and tilts you till your face is level with his.
“You’re not cute, little girl. That little snarky attitude may have worked on those pathetic boys you were with but you’re in the bed of real men now. Don’t hide things from us you think we should know. Do I make myself clear?”
“Y-Yes, sir. I’m—”
Steve’s hand cuts you off as he pushes you back against the mattress.
“We know. You’re sorry.”
Taking hold of his shaft, Eddie taps himself against your pussy making you squirm as you open your legs wider for him. Grabbing your hips, he slides you closer and gradually guides himself into your dripping entrance.
“Fuuuuuck.”, he moaned as he slowly pumped his hips. “We are going to fucking ruin you for anyone else, little girl. Goddamn.”
“How does she feel, baby?”, Steve asks as he leaned towards him to lightly kiss his neck.
“S-So fucking tight, sweetheart, you have no idea. I want…”
“What do you want, Ed?”
“I wanna…fuck her into the fucking mattress.”
Your pussy fluttered around him at his words and his eyes that been closed shot open as he placed his palms on either side of you and started thrusting into you aggressively.
“You want that, you little whore. I can give that to you.”
Much softer than his partner, Steve turned your head and slide his cock back into your mouth that you eagerly sucked on relishing the taste of him. As he pounded into you, Eddie’s lips kissed along his boyfriend’s chest making the man groan louder as he ran his fingers through his hair.
Bringing his lips to his own they passionately exchanged a kiss that had you mewling as the long-haired man rolled his hips hard hitting that soft spot inside you repeatedly.
Eddie’s head tilted back as his jaw went slack and you couldn’t help but reach your hands up to run your nails down your chest.
“I’m…I’m…please…”
Steve moved back as the metalhead grabbed your wrists and held them against the bed as his face fell beside your own.
“You fucking ask me, Y/N. You beg us to let you cum. Shit. We have control in here.”, he whispers in your ear making your shudder underneath him.
“P-Please, Mr. Munson. Can I cum? I want to cum on your cock, please.”
His hair tickles your face as he nods and the action of him tenderly kissing your cheek pushes you over the edge as the coil snaps.
“Fuck, that’s it, pretty girl. Came so fucking hard on my dick. I’m going to fill you up, princess, ok?”
“Please…”, you whimper as he slams into you, chasing his high.
Your professor’s grunts filled your ear and you turned your head into the sound as he warmed your insides. As soon as he rolled off you, a hand took hold of your ankle and yanked you to the edge the bed.
“Hey, hey, honey. No, no.”, Steve cooed with a hint of sarcasm as he lightly slapped your cheek. “Open your eyes, baby. What color are you at, Y/N?”
“Green.”
His massive palm slapped you a bit harder causing your eyes to fully open as you leaned up on your elbows.
“Green, what?”
“Green, SIR!”
You’re suddenly turned on to your stomach as rough hands lift your ass in the air while another set takes hold of your wrists and pulls your top half down and forward.
“Get rid of the attitude, Y/N. You think just because you came you’re allowed to be disrespectful?”, Eddie growls as Steve spanks your behind. “Now, answer him clearly without the tone.”
“Green, Mr. Harrington.”
As he ran his tip through your folds, you knew even after taking his partner, he was going to split you in half.
“Fuck me.”, Steve moaned as he began pushing himself into you.
Eddie’s head tilted to the side as he watched your face scrunch together.
“You’re alright, sweetheart. Trust me, I know how hard he can be to take at first but it will feel good soon. I promise, baby.”, he soothed and kissed your lips.
“F-Feels…feels good…now. Fuck.”
The man behind you smacks your ass at the curse, pressing further into your cunt till his hips finally connected with yours.
“Still green, babe?”
“Yeeeees, sir.”
“Good.” Clinging to your waist, Steve pulled back till he was almost all the way out of pussy before roughly slamming back into you practically punching the air from your lungs.
“Oh my god!”
With a slanted smile, he pounded into you as Eddie watched from the side, sitting up on his knees to occasionally run his fingers down the man’s chest.
“She feels really fucking good, right? Our young, new little toy.”
“Goddamn, I’m gonna fucking bust like a teenager.”
“Wait, pretty boy. You need to feel her cum. Her pussy fucking chokes your dick, I swear.”
“Fuck, Y/N, are you close, little girl?” When you didn’t answer, his hand reached around to grab you throat and lift your back to his chest. “Still coherent, you little slut? I asked you a question.”
“H-Harder, Mr. Harrington, please.”
As his forehead landed on your shoulder, he did what you asked till the bed began to jostle underneath you. A jolt of electricity shot through your body and you mewled as Eddie rubbed circles into your clit.
You took their conversation as approval and your arm circle around Steve’s neck as you came.
“Jesus fucking Christ!”, he grunted as he took hold of your chin and turned you so his lips could mingle with yours as he pumped into you a few more times before releasing his seed inside you.
You were completely drained and slightly sore as he tried to delicately pullout of you while you waited for what to do next. Usually, the boys you were with did the minimal amount of aftercare, choosing to just cuddle with you which was fine. You were surprised, however, when Eddie informed you the bath was ready when you were.
“For me?”
“Yeah, princess, come on. It will soothe your muscles.”, he murmured softly as he took your forearm and slowly walked you to the bathtub and guided you in. Your head remained lowered as you listened to him maneuver around the bathroom, sliding on some boxers before lighting a cigarette and placing himself on his knees beside you.
Utilizing the washcloth, he cleaned you pausing when your hand suddenly grabbed his wrist as he attempted to clean between your legs.
“I’m sorry. Just sore.”, you whispered as you let him go.
Eddie’s eyes scanned you over and you heard him blow out some smoke from his lips as he put the cigarette down in a nearby ashtray. His fingers moved some of your hair back and he pressed his nose into your cheek while he continued to clean you.
“It’s ok, sweetheart. You’re still doing really good for me. I know your little pussy hurts from how we stretched her open but we got you, pretty girl. You took us both so well.”
As his deep, comforting tone continued to whisper praises, you keened into the sound as you winced, trying not to grab him again.
“I know, I know. I’m almost done.”
Tilting your head, your lips found his, both of you getting lost in the feeling as he dropped the rag from his hand so he could cup your face and hold you closer. A throat clearing distracted you two as Steve entered the bathroom.
“I, uh, I have some clothes for you here, Y/N, whenever you’re ready.”
Nodding, you allow Eddie to help you out and lead you in front of his partner who took a seat on the edge of the bed. His honey irises ran along your body, checking for extra care you may need that they inflicted but unlike your assault earlier the only mark they left was the slight reddening of their handprints on your behind.
“How’s your throat? I tried not to grab you where—”
Your kisses startled him at first but after a few seconds his hand slithered tenderly behind your neck as he kissed you back.
“I’m ok. Just sore…and tired.”, you reiterate as your heavy eye lids dropped.
“Ok, honey.” Steve’s hands held you steady while Eddie dressed you in what smelled like their clothes as you swayed in his grasp. “You did so good for us. You deserve some sleep. Would you like me to carry you to the guest bedro—”
Both men watched with amusement as your shook your head before climbing over him and crawling under their covers.
“I guess we can sleep in the—”
“Please don’t leave.”, you begged in a little girl voice that pierced their hearts.
“Why does she keep interrupting me?”, Steve chuckles as he gets to his feet and yanks Eddie into his arms to kiss his lips. “She doesn’t do that with you. Or does she in class?”
At the word the metalhead became silent as he kissed his partner’s shoulder and crawled into the bed in front of you. His palm softly caressed your face and through your hair as Steve got in bed behind you.
“You’re worried.”
“Of course, I am and not just because she’s a student. That’s just the frosting on top of the cake that is our problem.”
“That sounds delicious.”
“Steven.”, Eddie scolds as they both smile. “She’s so much younger than we are.”
“10 years. Not much.”
“Not to mention the fact, that we are already hiding OUR relationship let alone another with a young, student. She deserves to be taken on dates and to live her life. She deserves to be seen not hidden.”
“So do you, honey.”
“Steve… we decided a long time ago to stay in Hawkins for a reason. We can’t be run out of town by these homophobic small, minded idiots. They’ve just barely started calming down when it comes to me and what happened in 86. And that’s another thing. What if…what if something happens? What if Vecna comes back or any other fucking monster? We can’t drag her into that.”
“Eddie, you’re over thinking again, but I see where you are coming from. Let’s…let’s take it one day at a time, ok? Who knows. She may wake up and decide this is all too much herself. She may not want to be with some…old, broken-down college professors slash coach.”
“Oh my god, baby.”, the long-haired boy chuckles as he throws his arm over his eyes. “You’re not broke down. We just have some wear and tear.”
Your palm reaching out and pulling Eddie closer as you fully folded into Steve silenced them. They relaxed into you as your professor kissed your forehead and your school’s coached nuzzled into your shoulder as they drifted off to sleep with you.
##############
@corkadymu @lilaclazer @aol19 @nailbatanddungeon
#steddie#steddie smut#steddie fic#coach Steve harrington#professor Eddie munson#student reader#fem reader#plus size reader#steddie x plus size reader#steddie x reader#steddie x you#steddie x y/n#steve harrington#dom steve#steve fanfic#steve harrington angst#steve harrington smut#steve harrington fanfic#steve harrington stranger things#joe keery#eddie munson#eddie munson smut#eddie munson fluff#eddie munson angst#eddie fanfic#fan fiction#joseph quinn#stranger things#stranger things au#dom eddie munson
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streaming love | mark lee
pairing: streamer!mark x fem!reader word count: 727 genre: fluff, imagine warning(s): not proofread summary: mark finally admits his feelings for you on stream, assuming that you're not currently watching.
mark sits in front of his makeshift stream set-up in his small apartment. in no way was he a professional nor did he have a large audience. his streams were just for fun, which he started to help y/n socialize more and have fun. his streams mainly consist of him conversing with his small audience, but he does sometimes play guitar for them or spend the stream discussing fun topics together. his audience jokingly ships the two of you together, as it's not uncommon for new viewers to assume you're a couple. he regularly sees comments such as "where's your girlfriend?" or "how's y/n?" when you aren't a part of the stream, which melts his heart. he adores knowing how much his viewers love you, especially when it's you with him.
no one in mark's life knows of his feelings for you. it's a secret he's kept for years, ever since you both graduated college together. no matter how much he tried to confess his feelings for you, the courage was never found, leaving him to sit back and watch you go out on dates and console you if you got your heart broken. he always told himself one day he will be the one to show you true love, and for years he couldn't find the right moment to do it.
finally, he accepted he needed advice.
in a late night stream, mark attempted to be vague when explaining his situation. however, his audience was not easily fooled, immediately realizing he was talking about you. it was embarrassing at first, but after some reassurance that they were supportive, he had felt a bit more at ease. as the chat flooded with encouragement, he felt more comfortable to explain his feelings for you. "i don't know man," mark said as he couldn't make eye contact with the camera, "i want to make it special, you know? it's what she deserves." as he watched the chat, one of his viewers had inquired as to why he hadn't already told you how he felt. "sometimes, i don't feel like a girl like her would be into someone like me. it probably sounds stupid, but you guys don't even know a quarter of all the things that make y/n so special." mark checked the chat to be sure you weren't watching. he had assumed you would be asleep by now, meaning that the chances of you catching this stream was slim, especially since he planned to delete the stream right after. the late night rain gently tapped his window outside, adding to his dropping mood as he wondered if he was even good enough for you. "she's the most important person in my life and i'm so damn tired of guys breaking her heart, you know? i want to show her true love, but how can i do that if i can't even be honest about my feelings? like, do i give her chocolate, flowers, or just go for it? like what makes a confession special?" mark looked over all of the chat's advice, opinions, encouragement, and overall support. he truly felt he had connected to his audience in this moment. he had found his people, who not only loved his content, but him as a person. and you as well.
he continued to pour his heart out, talking about his favorite memories with you and how much he adored you.
mark did not know that the whole time, you had been watching the stream. it was one of your sleepless nights, so you decided to catch mark's stream just as he had began pouring his heart out to his viewers. your heartbeat was the fastest it had ever been and you couldn't wipe the grin off your face. it all felt like a dream, but it wasn't.
admittedly, you had liked mark for a few months but never had the courage to confess either. you dated other men to try and forget him, but they just weren't mark, so, they never went anywhere.
as mark concluded his stream to head to bed, you knew you couldn't lose this beautiful moment. ever. so, you shoot him a text.
"hey, saw your stream. please don't delete the stream, i never want to forget the words you said. by the way, i'll accept those chocolates. let's talk tomorrow, okay?"
#mark lee#mark lee fics#nct#nct 127#nct dream#nct imagine#nct imagines#kpop imagines#sfw interactions only#fem reader#fem y/n#this is a 5 am fic please forgive me if it's not the best
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A Little Bird Told Me - Tara Carpenter
Summary: a badly interpreted tweet makes Tara get jealous
Warnings: Fem! Reader, a bit of angst, mentions of yellowjackets characters (Lottie Matthews and Lottienat), curse words
Word Count: 5.3k
"I propose a movie night at Tara's house!"
That catches the attention of the younger Carpenter, making her turn away from the direction of the Blackmore University library to answer Mindy with a teasing smile. "And who said I want you all at my house tonight?"
"You don't have a choice!" Mindy retorts, tossing a fallen leaf from the table they were sitting on towards Tara. "And you definitely want a certain someone to come to your house tonight."
"Yeah, you've been staring at the library door since she went in there." Anika joins her girlfriend in the argument, causing Tara's face to turn even redder.
You had been at the table earlier with Tara, Mindy, Anika, Chad, and Ethan, but a message had arrived on your phone and you hastily headed towards the library, letting your friends know you wouldn't take long. Since you left, the freckled girl couldn't help but look expectantly in that direction, missing your funny comments and calming presence.
It's true that Tara might have had a little crush on you since the beginning of this year, when you patiently and non-judgmentally listened to a long rant that Carpenter had been holding back about everything that had happened in Woodsboro. You had been there too, but you let her say everything she wanted and didn't even mention your own traumas, being more concerned with holding Tara in your arms as she shed the necessary tears. Since that night, she couldn't help but see you in a different light.
"Well, if everyone's up for it, I don't think Sam will mind having you all over." She tried to smoothly change the subject.
"I'm in!" Ethan was the first to confirm, followed by the other three instantly. Tara took the opportunity to take her phone out of her pocket and message Sam, informing her about the plans for later.
"Wow, who's that?" She heard Chad say, but didn't lift her head from her phone, thinking he was talking about some random girl he found attractive. However, Mindy's next sentence made Tara snap her head up so fast she almost got whiplash.
"Ooh, Y/n is in good company!" Mindy teased, and Tara followed her gaze until she spotted you, coming out of the library laughing alongside a girl who was clearly beautiful even from a distance. The dark wavy hair framed her face perfectly, and she was tall like a model. There was no reason for it, but the Carpenter girl suddenly felt intimidated by this new mystery girl.
You continued walking with her towards your friends, and as you got close enough to be seen clearly but not close enough to overhear the conversation, Chad blurted out a comment. "Damn, is that Charlotte Matthews?"
"Fuck! I think it is!" Anika added with excitement. Seeing the huge question mark on Tara's face, she hurriedly explained. "Lottie is on the college women's soccer team, and they're basically unbeatable. She's, like, super popular."
Tara crossed her arms and looked in your direction again, a bitter taste forming in her mouth as she noticed you were still laughing at something the girl had told you. What could possibly be so amusing?
"I didn't know Y/n had rizz like that." Mindy added with a thoughtful expression. "Good for her."
Before Tara could say that there was nothing to indicate you had any interest in Lottie (something she was also trying to convince herself of), you finally reached the table, greeting your friends with a smile. "Hey, guys."
"Hey." Lottie spoke after you, a bit shyly. How dare she be beautiful, tall as a goddess, and yet still have an adorable charm?
Everyone responded, and Tara found herself forcing a smile to hide her conflicting feelings. She sought your gaze, and some of the knot in her stomach unraveled as you locked eyes. "We're having a movie night at my place tonight, do you want to come?"
Your expression twisted into one of sorrowful regret. "Can't, sorry. I'll be tutoring Lottie in organic chemistry, it'll probably take the whole day." Tara realized you were still looking at her, trying to decipher if she was upset about your absence. Ever since movie nights had become a kind of tradition within the group, you had never missed one. This would be the first time you wouldn't be there, and Tara could tell you felt bad about it.
"Don't worry about it!" Mindy waved her hands nonchalantly, then turned to Tara with a teasing smile. "We get that you have bigger priorities, right, Tara?"
You still looked at the girl like a lost puppy, eagerly awaiting her reaction. Tara swallowed a sigh and forced herself to maintain a fake smile to calm her nerves. "Right. It was about time you put that brain of yours to some use."
With the girl's joke, you laughed, visibly becoming less tense as if a weight had been lifted off your shoulders. "Well, I'll see you guys tomorrow. Bye, everyone!" You waved goodbye to everyone at the table, Lottie doing the same out of politeness, and Tara watched bitterly as the two of you walked away side by side, probably heading towards the player's dorm.
"I bet 5 bucks Y/n will show up tomorrow with a massive hickey on her neck." Chad jokes, and the group laughs in response. Tara, being the only one not finding the joke funny, lets out an irritated huff and stands up, slinging her own bag over her shoulder. "Let's get going already, I want to pick the movie."
She starts walking slowly, ignoring Ethan's protests that it's his turn to choose.
The truth was: Tara just didn't want them to see how upset she was about your absence.
_
I want to stab you to death and play around with your blood.
Tara grimaced as she heard the line spoken by Christian Bale through the television, and she could see from the corner of her eye that everyone had shifted uncomfortably, relating the line to the events of the previous year.
Ethan had chosen American Psycho as the movie for the night, and Tara didn't want to protest since you weren't there for her to gauge your reactions to the film she chose. She sighed and glanced at her phone's lock screen again, hoping for a message from you saying that the tutoring had ended early and you were on your way. It never came.
She ran her hands over her face in frustration. The thought of you alone with an annoyingly beautiful girl in her room was enough to make a vein in her temple throb. What if Chad was right? What if tomorrow you showed up with a hickey on your neck, holding hands with Lottie Matthews, strolling across campus like the most beloved couple in America?
Ugh. She pressed her eyes shut to try to banish the image from her mind. When did she let her feelings for you become so... intense? It was almost humiliating to think that Tara Carpenter had gone from the girl who spent most of her time alone to the girl who couldn't stand a few hours without you.
Feeling a strange surge of pride, Tara shook her head and grabbed her phone, opening the front camera. She was having fun and definitely not sinking into miserable thoughts, right? So she had to post a picture to prove that she was perfectly happy! Of course, that had nothing to do with you, and she certainly didn't care if you saw the photo while you were busy doing who knows what with one of the most desired girls at Blackmore.
"Hey, guys! Look here real quick!" Tara alerted, and everyone shuffled to get into the selfie. Sam sat beside her with a restrained smile, Anika and Mindy were wrapped in each other's arms a bit behind the Carpenters, and Chad had an arm around Ethan's shoulders, who responded by making a peace sign with his fingers behind his roommate's head.
Tara snapped the picture and examined the result, mindlessly promising to send it to Anika when the girl asked. The younger Carpenter discreetly zoomed in on her own face, deciding if she looked pretty enough to post it or not. Satisfied, she opened Instagram and uploaded the photo as a story, adding a caption underneath. Great night with these weirdos.
After that, Tara locked her phone, trying to hypnotize herself into believing she wasn't eagerly waiting for your comment. She stared fixedly at the TV, feigning deep interest in Patrick Bateman's actions, as if she hadn't lost focus on the movie within the first twenty minutes.
5 minutes later, her phone buzzed with a notification. You had replied to her story.
Tara almost giggled and kicked her feet because of how quickly you messaged. That had to be a good sign. You wouldn't have replied so fast if you were busy doing something... or someone else. Right?
"Don't have too much fun without me." Your message read. The younger Carpenter bit her lower lip to contain a wider smile on her face.
"Never." She typed, but thought better of it and deleted it, typing out a different response. "I can't promise anything."
You read the message but didn't reply any further, probably returning to your duties as a tutor. Tara didn't complain, as she was already more than satisfied with the quick attention you gave her.
She comfortably leaned back on the couch, where she was seated between Sam and Mindy, the latter gently stroking Anika's hair, who was sitting beside her. The two boys were on the floor engaged in a heated discussion about whether Ethan was an incel or not based on his choice of movie.
Feeling more relaxed, Tara reached over to snatch some popcorn from Sam, earning a light smack and narrowed eyes in retaliation. She offered an innocent smile to her older sister, who simply rolled her eyes and placed the popcorn bucket between them, succumbing to the silent plea.
Tara could almost have forgotten she had been upset. Almost. But then her phone vibrated with another notification.
It was from your Twitter, and from the notification bar, apparently, you had tweeted "hjsuzgabasi."
She frowned, trying to figure out what the hell you were trying to say. Unlocking her phone, Tara quickly opened the Twitter app, searching for your profile so she could reply with something like "???" on your latest post.
But as she was about to comment on your tweet, she noticed the other two you had just posted.
She's soooooo prettyyy😭😭 just one chance please
Her brown eyes omg im so gay
Tara's mood instantly turned sour. Had you just tweeted about Lottie Matthews? I mean, you were with her now, and Tara vividly remembered the girl's big, enchanting brown eyes. Of course, you were tweeting about the gay panic you were probably experiencing in real life.
She sighed and stood up from the couch. "I'm gonna grab some water." Tara mumbled to justify her departure and headed to the kitchen, still holding her phone. Suddenly, the fun atmosphere she had felt for a few minutes had given way to a nauseating feeling churning in her stomach.
She turned the phone over before grabbing a glass, but her eyebrows furrowed when she realized your tweets were no longer there. Holding the device with both hands now, she refreshed your profile again, but the posts had vanished as if they were a mirage. You had probably deleted them to prevent Lottie from seeing, or something like that.
Either way, the tweets had been there, and Tara had firsthand seen your super gay panic as you probably looked at the soccer player. She hated the thought that you might be blushing right now over something Lottie said, giving one of your cute shy smiles as she ran her hand through your hair, eventually trailing down to your neck and pulling you in for...
No! Tara was already torturing herself enough without imagining what you two might be doing. She didn't need another reason to ruin her own night.
So, after downing a glass of water and trying to contain the terrible feeling spreading through her system, Tara returned to the living room dragging her feet, doing her best to force herself to enjoy the rest of the night with her friends.
She definitely wasn't caring about your stupid new crush.
_
"Ugh! If you point out one more mistake of mine, I'm going to bite your arm!" Lottie complained dramatically, leaning back in her swivel chair and turning towards you, avoiding looking at the open notebook with unsolved questions.
You chuckled at her antics. "Let's not resort to cannibalism, okay? I'd rather stay whole if I still have to finish teaching you things."
"Can we at least take a break? My brain is killing me." She didn't even wait for your response and immediately got up, heading towards her own bed and lying down without ceremony. You just shook your head with a smile and stretched your arms, still sitting in the chair. Lottie was right, after all. You both deserved a bit of rest.
Taking advantage of the break, you took your phone out of your bag pocket and quickly checked your notifications, stopping at one that made your heart race and a small smile start to form on your face.
Opening the app, you viewed Tara's story. A photo of everyone in the group (minus Quinn, who was probably at one of her flings' places) gathered in the Carpenter's living room, with happy expressions that must have come from the fun of the movie nights.
You thought for a few seconds before sending a playful response. "Don't have too much fun without me." There was a bit of truth hidden behind those words, considering you felt bad for missing out on this time with your friends, but mostly for not being there with Tara.
It had been a few years since you started developing feelings for the younger Carpenter. You had met in school in Woodsboro and grew closer when you were assigned a literature project together. Since then, Tara introduced you to her other friends and you became a significant part of her life.
She made you feel heard and appreciated, so it didn't take long for you to fall in love and get lost in the sparkle of those brown eyes. But you weren't stupid. Everyone could see that Tara Carpenter only had eyes for Amber Freeman. So you decided to take a step back and act as a good friend to Tara, painfully listening when she talked about her immense love for her girlfriend.
You even thought about moving on from her, but then the "Woodsboro Massacre" happened, you knew you couldn't leave the girl alone during such a vulnerable time. So, despite your head warning you that you would get hurt, you followed your heart and never left Tara's side for a second.
"I can't promise anything." She replied after a while, and you smiled at the familiarity of her classic sense of humor in the message. You exited the chat shortly after, returning to Tara's stories to look at the posted photo once again.
You zoomed in on the familiar face, much like a high school girl stalking her crush, and involuntarily broke into a silly smile. Tara's dark hair was loose, waves cascading over her shoulder. She had a slight smile on her face that allowed you to catch a glimpse of her adorable dimple. The photo quality was good but not enough for you to see the freckles you knew were there, on her cheeks and nose, that you wished you could someday get close enough to count with the tips of your fingers.
With your heart pounding in your chest, you decided you were feeling too many emotions to keep them to yourself. So, like a good contemporary girl, you searched for the Twitter app on your phone and prepared for a gay vent of at least 100 characters.
"Why are you so red?" Lottie asks from her spot on the bed, startling you as you had completely forgotten about her presence.
Wide-eyed, you look at her and try to come up with something. "N-nothing. Must be your imagination."
Clearly, the excuse doesn't work with Lottie, because she breaks into a teasing smile and raises her eyebrows as if she knows all your secrets. "What was it? Did Tara send you a message?"
"Shut up." You release a weak grumble and quickly turn back to your phone, tweeting the first thing that came to your mind upon seeing your best friend's earlier photo. hjsuzgabasi. Poetic.
"Come on! Don't you think it's about time you confess your feelings?" Lottie sits up straight on the bed to better analyze you. "I mean, you talk about her all the time in class. Tara this, Tara that, Tara, Tara, Tara."
"I don't want to ruin our friendship, okay?" You turn to the soccer player before sending out more tweets containing your embarrassing thoughts about the younger Carpenter. She's soooooo prettyyy😭😭 just one chance please. Her brown eyes omg im so gay
Lottie sighs and gets up, walking over to you and placing her hands affectionately on your shoulders. "Look, I might not know her as well, but if she's as good a friend as you describe, she wouldn't stop talking to you over something you can't even control."
"I know. Maybe I'll tell her someday." You speak in a hushed voice but quickly lift your head to look up at the tall girl with a playful expression. "You know, you should take your own advice and just admit you have a crush on a certain Natalie Scatorccio from your soccer team."
Her eyes widen, and she blushes deeply, pushing your swivel chair back slightly as she returns to the bed, not before flipping you off. "Shut up, you fucking loser."
You laugh at that, and Lottie joins in right after. Maybe you two weren't as close as you were with the others in your group (especially Tara), but the time you spent sitting next to each other during those tedious organic chemistry classes was enough to cultivate a great friendship.
Still chuckling a bit, you returned your gaze to your phone, and... your heart dropped into your stomach. Oh no.
"Shit, shit, shit!" You exclaim, rushing to delete the posts as quickly as possible. How could you have gotten so distracted?!
"What's wrong?" Lottie asks, alarmed, watching with a concerned expression as you hurriedly tap on your phone, looking on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
"I tweeted from my main account!" You reply with a mix of embarrassment and nervousness. "I didn't realize I wasn't on my private one, and I tweeted my gay panic about Tara's photo in a place where she can see! What do I do?!"
The taller girl walks over to you again, placing a hand in the space between your shoulders and encouraging you to take a deep breath along with her. "Calm down. Is there anything in the tweet that makes it clear it was about her?"
"Nothing specific... Damn it." You close your eyes and rest your head on the desk for a few seconds. What if Tara had seen the post, and now she's telling Sam how pathetic she thinks you are? Even worse, tonight was movie night! What if Tara had shown the tweets to everyone, and now they were all collectively laughing at you?
You pick up your phone again and open your messages, searching for Anika's contact. She and Mindy (who never let anything slide) were the only ones who had caught on to your crush on Tara and had already tried to advise you to confess your feelings, though they were still keeping the information a secret at your request. Between the two, the least likely to laugh at your current situation was the Kayoko, so you decided to beg her for help.
You
Nik, pls tell me Tara isn't on her phone rn
I may have accidentally posted my gay panic at her photo on twt…
Fashion Icon⭐ (Anika)
WHAT??????????
OMG, you guys are finally gonna date😭
Wait, she's in the kitchen, let me take a look
Oh.
You
Oh????
Wdym oh????
Fashion Icon⭐ (Anika)
She's looking weirdly at her phone
She seems upset
You
Oh.
Fashion Icon⭐ (Anika)
It's probably not with you
You
Forget it
Thx for the help
Lottie still gives you some awkward pats on your back as you turn to her fully, and you know she read everything over your shoulder when she offers a small supportive smile to try and make you feel better. You let Lottie embrace you as you close your eyes, feeling desperate tears threatening to fall.
"She doesn't like me back, does she?" You whisper into the girl's shoulder, and she squeezes you a little tighter in her hold.
"You don't know that. Try talking to her tomorrow, okay?"
Unwilling to utter any sound, you simply nod in agreement, knowing that even though the problem is only for tomorrow, you'll already feel the effects of it today.
_
It wasn't a good day for Tara.
The petite girl had tossed and turned in bed all night, unable to close her eyes with some inexplicable anger flooding her body. Every time she allowed herself to relax for a few seconds, the image of you being much closer to Charlotte Matthews than you should have been appeared in her mind like a bitter reminder.
And Tara could be very proud and stubborn, but she wasn't stupid. She knew perfectly well that her sour mood was out of pure jealousy and anger at herself for letting you slip through her fingers. But even though the negative feelings had their origin within herself, Tara still wasn't the best at dealing with her emotions and she knew she was making her bad mood everyone else's problem.
Unfortunately, you didn't know this when you approached her in the hallways of Blackmore University, with an apprehensive expression on your face and your heart in your hand. If Tara noticed your increasingly close presence, she didn't move a muscle to show it, but she moved plenty to walk faster, trying to cross your path without making contact.
"Hey, Tara." You stop her with a hand on her shoulder. This wasn't the best place to talk, considering you had just left a class and your classmates were spilling out into the hallway, chatting and filling the space. "Can we talk about what happened yesterday?"
"You mean the tweets?" She asks with an indifferent tone, but you knew the girl well enough to recognize the clenched jaw that hinted at a touch of irritation. "You don't need to say anything. Seriously."
"But..."
"Look, really." Tara cuts you off, crossing her arms and avoiding your gaze. You could feel the growing aggression in her voice. "I'm not in the mood to hear about it right now."
You feel your heart crack a little. It seemed like Tara didn't even want to hear you say that you liked her. Was it some sort of denial? Like if she doesn't hear the words coming out of your mouth, can she pretend your feelings don't exist?
Either way, before you could retort, a familiar voice calls your name in the hallway, and you turn to see Lottie Matthews waving in your direction. But she stops and takes on a surprised expression upon noticing Tara with you. You hear a scoff, and when you turn back, Tara is already walking away, ending the conversation without waiting for your input.
A few seconds later, Lottie arrives by your side in the hallway, looking at you cautiously. "So..."
Feeling hurt not only by Tara's apparent rejection but also by how she seemed so disturbed by the idea of your feelings for her, you simply shake your head in denial, letting tears run down your face to ease the pain you felt on the inside.
You felt Lottie pull you by the wrist towards the bathroom, probably to give you more privacy in that emotional moment, and you were thankful, but you couldn't express anything other than anguish. It felt like your whole world was spinning and falling apart in pieces.
Fuck that shitty bird social media.
_
"What's wrong with you?!"
Tara and everyone else at the table (Chad, Mindy, and Ethan) looked up in alarm as Anika's impactful entrance echoed in. She dropped her bag onto the wooden surface with a thud and was glaring specifically at Tara with frustration.
"Baby, what-" Mindy tried to speak up, but Anika raised her index finger, and her girlfriend quickly fell silent with a final okay, adhering to the "happy wife, happy life" motto.
Everyone stared at the scene apprehensively, as it was the first time they had seen Anika so upset about something. Even Tara, who had an idea of the reason for her behavior, was just staring in a state of shock and fear.
"Listen, whatever you've done to Y/n, you need to fix it now." Anika emphasized, tapping the tip of her index finger on the table for added effect. "She's been crying her eyes out in the H building's bathroom for the past 40 minutes because of some shit you pulled."
"I… I didn't mean to…" Tara stammered and closed her eyes tightly, feeling a lump in her throat forming from guilt. Once again, Tara remembered one of Sam's warnings about seeking help to better manage her emotions and quietly cursed herself. The last thing she wanted was to hurt you, but she was like a ticking time bomb of negative feelings that unfortunately exploded onto you, who didn't deserve to suffer because of Tara's actions.
"I don't care about what you wanted or didn't want." Anika speaks sternly, not breaking eye contact with Tara. "All I know is that there's a girl who would give the world to you, crying because of your unnecessary rudeness, and you need to fix that."
Tara jumps up and gathers her things quickly, nodding in affirmation and avoiding the inquisitive gazes of their friends. "Yeah… I will. I'll apologize." The others watch her hurry off towards building H, and Anika slumps with exhaustion into the seat next to Mindy, which Tara had previously occupied.
"Do you think they'll finally confess to each other?" Mindy asks, gently petting her girlfriend's head, which now rests on her shoulder.
"They better. I can't go through this again." Anika replies, closing her eyes to enjoy the touch of her girlfriend's fingers through her hair. On the other side of the table, the guys still have wide eyes, processing what they witnessed.
"Uh… You're not gonna explain anything to us, are you?" Ethan questions, gesturing to himself and Chad with quick motions.
The two girls exchange a quick look and respond in unison. "No."
_
Tara's hands are trembling as she reaches the bathroom door.
Nausea churns within her due to the nervousness of the conversation she's about to have. She knows she'll need to explain the reason for being so rude, which means she'll have to tell you about her feelings, even though she anticipates you'll reject her since you already have someone else in your heart.
Would you at least accept remaining friends? Or had she ruined that option by preventing you from discussing your compromising tweets about Lottie earlier?
With one final sigh and a shake of her head, Tara decides to stop stalling and takes the first step to enter the restroom and get it over with.
The first thing she notices is your back turned towards her. Your silhouette makes it clear you have your arms crossed, leaning your hips against the sink so your weight rests on your left side. The second thing she sees is Charlotte Matthews standing in front of you, using a tissue to wipe your face, which Tara imagines is damp from tears.
Before she could do anything, the soccer player noticed her presence and her mouth formed an "O" shape. Looking between you and Tara, she quickly mumbles, "I'll leave you alone," and exits the restroom, causing you to glance back in questioning.
Tara feels the air being sucked out of her lungs as your eyes meet. Your eyes and nose are red, and she can still see traces of the glistening trail down your cheeks. She takes a step forward and places her hand on the sink, noticing that you're still keeping your arms crossed and prefer looking at your own sneakers rather than at her.
With a sigh, she's the first to break the silence. "I'm sorry about earlier today. I didn't want to hurt you."
"It's okay," you reply, shifting your right foot back and forth. Tara knows that's one of your signs of nervousness. "You can't control how you feel, right?"
The petite girl looks at you in shock, but you don't seem to notice, still looking down. Had she got it right? Did you know about her feelings? "That's true. Maybe I'm being selfish, but... I didn't want to ruin our friendship over this. Is that okay with you?"
You finally look at Tara. Your eyes widen, and you quickly nod. "Of course! I didn't want to lose you just because we're not on the same page. These things happen, right?"
Tara feels her heart ache at the sentence. Was that your way of gently rejecting her? "Yeah. These things happen."
A few seconds of uncomfortable silence pass, but neither of you move, fearing that any wrong move would spoil the small progress you've just made. Again, Tara, with her impatience, initiates the conversation, hating the absence of any sound. "I hope she makes you happy."
She watches as your expression changes to one of confusion, eyebrows furrowed and head tilted to the side. "What?"
"Lottie." Tara points back to where the girl had left a few minutes ago. "She seems... nice. You have good taste."
"You think I like Lottie?!" She's startled by the outraged tone of your question. You take a step closer, as if wanting to hear more clearly what she was saying.
"Wasn't it about her? The tweet you made?" Tara asks, more bewildered than you. "Pretty girl, brown eyes..."
"It was about you!" You burst out, unable to contain the information any longer. "I'm in love with you! The whole time, I was talking about you, Tara! I saw you in yesterday's photo, and you looked so beautiful that... hmph!"
You are silenced by Tara's soft lips meeting yours, initiating a passionate and much-needed kiss from both sides. Your hands descend to her waist as her hands pull you by the nape of your neck, trying to bring you impossibly closer.
Without breaking the kiss, you move clumsily until Tara's back is fully supported against the sink, your arms holding her in place by the hips. She sighs as you part for a breath, and a genuine smile forms on your face.
"Wow." You laugh and pull back slightly, just enough so that your noses are no longer touching. "I wasn't expecting that."
"I thought you knew I liked you." Tara laughs along, playing with the hair at the nape of your neck to try to ease the redness in her own face.
You gently stroke her hip with your thumb. "Is that what you were talking about earlier? I thought you were rejecting me."
"I thought you were rejecting me." She playfully nudges your chest with medium force. Tara's smile becomes a bit more subdued as she moves her hands from your nape to hold your face. "I'm sorry for being rude earlier and hurting you."
You shake your head. "It's okay. Now I know you were just jealous." Your tone is teasing, and you raise your eyebrows twice just to mess with Tara a little more.
"Shut up." She rolls her eyes, smiles, and pulls you by the wrist until you're out of the bathroom. "I'll make it up to you with some ice cream, what do you think?"
"If you throw in a few kisses in the middle of that offer, I might consider."
#scream#scream 5#scream vi#scream 6#tara carpenter x reader#tara carpenter#scream x reader#jenna ortega#jenna ortega x reader#tara carpenter x you#tara carpenter imagine#jenna ortega imagine#jenna ortega x you
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Request from @bisexuawolfsalt: May you please write a Bucky x virgin!reader who’s never been able to get herself off?
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x female virgin!reader
Word Count: 5k
Warnings: masturbation, fingering
Everything about you was different. You'd always felt it. You never fit in with the people you'd grown up with. Friends had never felt close. You were sheltered, your parents had a habit of being overprotective, helicoptering over you until they were in a fatal accident just before your eighteenth birthday. That's when things changed for you, not just what you'd lost, but your body too. You were different, but not in the way you'd thought all your life. You were powered. You kept to yourself throughout college, barely keeping anyone around you as more than an acquaintance. Relationships were a foreign concept to you, be it one of friendship or romance. You'd experienced neither.
That was your story, until you found yourself in New York City in the middle of a Chitari invasion. When you back up an Avenger with your powers, you get noticed. Tony Stark found you and brought you in. It took some convincing, you weren't ready, you were afraid. You'd hidden yourself with a job in the New York Public library. But eventually you agreed to move into the Stark Tower.
That's where you first met Bucky. You had gotten to know Steve, Natasha, and Tony pretty well. Steve had come to knock on your door one day and brought Bucky with him. He had returned from Wakanda, free from his Winter Soldier programming. He didn't look as frightening as people had described him. There was a kindness behind his brilliant blue eyes, an intelligence and a sadness that drew you in. He was a solitary soul and so were you.
You felt comfortable in his presence. He said very little, in fact he barely made eye contact initially. Steve had encouraged him to make a friend and Bucky had chosen you, you didn't pester him about his well being, didn't cajole him about attending therapy, in fact you didn't bother him at all. You were the perfect friend. These were the reasons you believed Bucky had chosen you.
In reality Bucky couldn't get enough of being around you. He was drawn to you and you to him. Finally he had confessed his feelings to you and you had kissed him. Only Steve knew about your relationship with Bucky, you kept things private. You spent all your down time with Bucky but the two of you hadn't slept together, yet. Bucky had insisted that you wait until you were ready, after you'd told him that you hadn't been in any relationships in the past.
Today hadn't been any different from any other, not really. You'd spent time training in the gym with Steve, you'd done some reading, having decided to pursue a medical degree with your interest in science. You had a lot to learn, but you decided to take a break and grab yourself a bit of food. You walked into the kitchen where a group of SHIELD agents were also eating and talking. You blushed profusely when you heard their topic of discussion… masturbation!
“I love my Lioness. I swear if men’s penises were made with a vibration setting, I'd actually consider being with one,” one of them mused.
“Oh sweet girl, I’ve been married for five years, and let me tell you, sometimes only you have the means to get the job done. I mean I love my human dildo, but the rubber one gets the job done much better. It's got a suction up, so just slam it against the wall and go to town on it," her older colleague chimed in.
"Ah, you kids and your new fangled inventions and toys. I'm pretty old school, my fingers have been doing the job just fine for me all these years. Batteries not included," she smirked.
Their words made you blush, you had no idea what a Lioness even was, you cowered in the corner trying not to eavesdrop. The last thing you wanted was to be involved in this conversa-
"Hey!" You heard Piper, one of the agents calling your name. "What's your preference?"
You mostly kept to yourself, the other agents had no idea of your childhood or your lack of experience and you'd kept to yourself to avoid questions exactly like this.
“I - ummm…” you started stuttering nervously, eyes darting around for an excuse to avoid answering the question. You hoped no one would notice you biting your lip and wringing your hands with anxiety. “You know…”
“Come on girl, are you saying that hunk of yours is that good?”
“What?” You were shocked by Piper’s comment.
“Barnes, is he as good in bed as he looks like he would be?”
“What-”
“You don’t need to pretend, we’ve seen the two of you holding hands and smacking lips.”
You blushed, you had no idea that other people were aware of your relationship. But they couldn’t know that you hadn’t sealed the deal, could they?
“You have to give us some details,” they laughed good naturedly. “Is he that good that you don’t need to … you know, take care of yourself every now and then?”
There was no malicious intent in their questions, they were just making jovial conversation and including you, but you just wanted the floor to open up and swallow you whole. You wanted to tell them that Bucky was good, but you knew that they weren’t asking if he was a good person, they wanted to know if he was good at sex. You weren’t so out of touch with the world that you didn’t know what they were insinuating.
“He’s an amazing person-”
You were cut off by their beepers sounding off at the same time. Saved by the bell.
“See you around.” They smiled and winked at you as they left to see to their duties.
A silent sigh of relief escaped your lips as you gathered your meal and sat down in the vacated dining area. Your heart was no longer pounding on the inside of your chest, but your brain was in overdrive as you ruminated over the conversation between the agents. Without realizing it, you were thinking about what masturbation would actually be like.
You weren’t completely innocent or devoid of sexual urges, you had admired both handsome men and beautiful women, some of whom had even had you aroused. But you hadn’t dared act on those urges, mostly because you had no idea how and you were too ashamed to ask anyone you did know. You felt embarrassed that you had reached the age that you were without having had any real sexual encounters. You had been hesitant to explore your own anatomy, even in the privacy of your own home and now you’d reached the point in your life where you were too afraid to try it alone.
Your lunch remained half uneaten as you pondered your dilemma. Your interest had definitely been piqued and you started thinking about Bucky. He had been patient with you and your reluctance to engage in more intimate behavior. He had been incredibly understanding when you’d admitted to him that you were a virgin and hadn’t pushed you into any kind of non consensual conduct.
Everything you’d seen on television or read about, the act of sexual intercourse, the pleasure that came from an orgasm, you wanted to know how it felt. You felt a stirring between your legs at the very thought. But where would you get the information to do things right? You had so many questions. You thought about looking online but the computers in the Tower were all networked, and JARVIS had the ability to look into any search history. The thought of someone finding out terrified you. No, you would have to try something else.
This brought your thoughts around to Bucky. After careful consideration, you determined that Bucky was probably the best person to discuss your areas of learning. You knew that he was a little more experienced than you were and if you were to share a future with him, you would eventually engage in more intimate activity. So he would be the perfect person to ask. You picked up your phone and typed out a message.
You: Can I ask you something? It’s a bit embarrassing.
Bucky’s phone pinged as he sat listening to a discussion between Sam and Steve. He enjoyed watching them battle wits, as long as he wasn’t asked to take part. And when he did, he always sided with Steve, regardless of what his actual opinion was. He took his eyes off the pair to see your face light up his screen. Your face never failed to make the corner of Bucky’s mouth quirk up, as hard as he tried to hide it.
Bucky had never met anyone quite like you. Despite the trauma and loneliness you had suffered, it hadn’t made you cold or hard, in fact he thought you were the single most kind-hearted and loving person he’d ever met. Your intelligence surpassed that of many and he was almost shocked that you had chosen to bestow your affection on him. You were his angel, sent from heaven to show him what real love was. He texted you back immediately.
Bucky: Anything.
Bucky’s whole attention was on you now, your question had piqued his interest far more than the conversation between Sam and Steve ever had.
You: How do you masturbate?
Bucky’s eyes were ready to pop out of his skull as he read your question.
“Buck?” Steve called his friend again, trying to get his attention.
“Yeah?” Bucky cleared his throat, tearing his attention away from his phone.
“Can you settle this for us?”
“Yeah, I agree with Sam,” he answered.
Sam and Steve watched him get up and walk away with their jaws on the floor. But Bucky had no time for nor interest in their reaction. He was focused on your question.
Bucky: What makes you ask this question?
You: There were some agents in the kitchen and they were talking about masturbation…
Bucky: And you are curious?
You: Well yeah. So are you going to answer the question?
Bucky thought for a moment before responding.
Bucky: There isn’t just one way to masturbate.
You: Care to elaborate?
Bucky: Most people use their fingers. Now they have all these toys.
He thought for a moment, before sending a follow up text.
Bucky: Back in the day, we would make do with what was around. You just need to use it right.
As much as Bucky longed to offer you a hands on demonstration of the concept, he knew that he should give you the space to learn and experience things at your own pace, particularly with regards to your sexual relationship.
Bucky: You need to figure out what YOU like.
You bit your lip as you read Bucky’s answers, your fingers hovering above the screen as you tried to work up the courage to continue your conversation.
You: I don’t know what to do.
Bucky: You just have to try things out and see how you feel.
You typed out your response, you felt a tingling between your legs and an unfamiliar dampness. It took you several minutes for you to press send.
You: Will you show me?
Bucky’s mouth went dry as he read your reply. He felt himself stir at that thought of your question. He read your words over and over, contemplating his next move.
Bucky: Are you sure?
Bucky didn’t want to pressure you, or make you do anything you didn’t feel comfortable with, but the thought of being closer to you, more intimate with you made his body react and he could feel blood pumping south.
You: Ordinarily I’d probably use a Google search but I’m not particularly where I should be looking. Also most things are probably not targeted at women past their teenage years. Also I didn’t particularly want to leave a trail of cookies in my search history.
Bucky wasn't quite sure he understood all of your message. I was rather old fashioned, and even though he had some understanding of the modern world, he didn't feel entirely comfortable. He decided to help you the best way he knew how.
Bucky: Meet me when you're done with work?
You: Sure. Where do you want to meet?
Bucky: Your room. 6pm. Wear something comfortable.
Butterflies fluttered in your stomach as you read his message and answered.
You: See you soon.
Anticipation and anxiety had you back in your quarters much earlier than the time Bucky had advised. You decided to be prepared for his arrival, so you took a shower and performed all your necessary grooming rituals. You weren’t entirely out of the loop with regards to sex, but clinical application was very different from actual intimacy. The thought of Bucky’s touch excited you. Your relationship with him mostly involved emotional intimacy, he was nervous too, worried about hurting you physically. He had been happy to let you take the lead for the physical aspect of your relationship.
The thought of his touch elicited a tantalizing reaction from your body, the warmth, the wetness between your legs was exhilarating. There was an urge to touch yourself. It wasn’t that you hadn’t thought about this before, even tried exploring your own body, but you’d never quite achieved the intended goal. Today felt different. You could feel yourself pulsing in a way that you’d not felt before. And if Bucky wasn’t able to help you understand your own body, you were certain that no one would.
You put on a slightly oversized t-shirt, it was loose enough for you to move with ease, but fitted enough that your figure wasn’t hidden. You grabbed a pair of booty shorts, choosing to slip it over your hips without any underwear. The feeling of them against your uncovered core made you feel wicked. Your heart was still pounding and you needed something to relax, so you grabbed a bottle of Pinot Noir and poured yourself a generous glass.
A knock at the door made you jump, and the contents of the glass sloshed around dangerously. You took a small sip before putting it down on the counter of the small kitchenette in your room and went to answer the door.
“Hi.” You barely breathed the word as you found Bucky at your door.
He looked ethereal, he had clearly taken the time to go back to his room and prepare for your rendezvous after spending the day training new recruits. He slipped past you with a gentle greeting. He had washed his long hair which was loose and still slightly damp. He had donned a maroon Henley which you had told him was your favorite and as he brushed against you, you caught the scent of his cologne which did nothing but increase your arousal.
“How was your day, Doll?” Bucky asked, giving you a gentle peck on the cheek.
“Seriously, you want to ask about my day?” you said nervously, wringing your hands together.
Suddenly you felt out of your depth. How could this beautiful specimen of a man possibly be here for intimate relations with you? You turned around and took a mouthful of wine, coughing slightly as you swallowed.
“Hey, easy there, Doll. Being drunk isn’t helpful. You know,” he paused for a moment, “we don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with.”
He wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you close to his chest. You could feel his heart beating as your head rested against him. It was calming and you looked up at him.
“I want to.”
“If you change your mind at any time, you will tell me, right?”
You nodded, appreciative of his understanding.
“Sit down for a minute. I’m just going to set up a few things.”
“What kind of things?
Bucky held up a few candles. “I thought they’d make you feel more comfortable, relaxed.”
You watched Bucky place candles around your room and then dim the lighting. His movements were elegant, so smooth. You marveled at his grace and agility, his touch was delicate and you wondered how his hands would feel on your body. When he was done he came over to sit beside you as you clutched your wine glass.
“Oh Bucky, I’m sorry, here, let me get yo-”
You stopped as he put his hands on your shoulders. “Listen, before we start, no matter what happens today, I’m just here to help you… you know, please yourself. That doesn’t mean that we need to go any further. You don’t owe me sex. Got that?”
You nodded, feeling more relaxed, like he’d taken the weight of expectation off your shoulders. “Yeah, okay,” you whispered.
“Anytime you want to sto-”
His words were cut off by your lips on his. “Sorry,” you pulled away slowly. “You were kinda freaking me out.”
Bucky chuckled at your shyness.
“So what now?” you asked, uncertain of how to proceed.
“Do you feel…” He wasn’t sure how to ask you if you felt turned on.
You shrugged. “Every time I think about this, I feel nervous, but also kinda tingly.” Subconsciously, you squeezed your legs together seeking the pleasure that came from the friction.
Your reflexive moments didn’t go unnoticed by Bucky. “You feel good?”
You nodded. “Will you kiss me?”
Bucky smiled, cupping your face with his hands, pulling your lips towards his, caressing them with his tongue before gently slipping it into your mouth. His right arm dropped down, coming to rest around your waist. Both of you lost yourselves in the kiss for a few minutes before Bucky pulled away. “Want to keep making out?”
“Well, it is nice, but I’m ready. What do I do?”
“Do you want to take your clothes off?”
A soft blush crossed your features, Bucky could see it in the glow of candlelight. You started taking off your t-shirt, raising your arms to pull it over your head. Bucky’s eyes lingered over your breasts, trying not to stare as you struggled with the neck. He eventually tore his gaze away to help you complete the task. Bucky tossed the shirt aside on a nearby armchair and turned back to you. You could help but try to cover yourself with your arms.
“You look beautiful, Doll.” Bucky murmured. “What can I do to make you feel more comfortable?”
“I mean, I feel kinda exposed. Maybe if we were on even footing it would be less awkward?”
Bucky laughed, “so you want me to take my top off?”
“I wouldn’t say no.”
Bucky used one hand to swiftly shed his Henley, letting you ogle his chiseled chest for a moment.
"Why don't make yourself comfortable on the pillows.” He nodded his head up to the top of the bed.
You followed his instruction, crawling over to the top. You’d spent many an evening with Bucky buried under the covers watching movies late into the night. Several times you’d woken up the following morning wrapped in his arms, but today was different. You sat back against the stack of pillows making yourself comfortable.
“Aren’t you coming?” You asked, realizing that he was still sitting at the end of the bed.
His eyebrows shot up into his hairline. “Well, if you want me to…” he answered, voice suddenly a little shaky.
“Were you planning on sitting there with all your clothes on, watching me get myself off. I mean that’s kinda off putting.”
He walked around the edge of the bed and climbed on to sit beside you.
“If you take off your pants, I’ll lose my shorts.”
“You drive a hard bargain, Doll.” He smirked before shimmying off his jeans.
As hard as you tried, you couldn’t help the flush on your face as you stared at the outline of his bulge. Bucky smirked.
“Like what you see, Doll?”
There was something in his tone that made your insides feel tight, like there was something inside you trying to escape and you kept squeezing to stop it. Your body responded to his words in a way you’d never felt before.
“Your turn,” he said quietly, not a command, more of a request.
You lifted your ass off the bed and pushed your shorts down, over your thighs, sliding them over your knees and let them fall over your calves. Bucky helped you to unhook them from your feet before tossing them to the foot of the bed, just in case you wanted them again. He took a moment to let his eyes rove over your naked form, oh how he longed to touch you, but today was not for him to indulge his fantasies. Today was for you.
“Will you sit with me?” you asked.
“Can’t get a lot closer than this, Doll.” He was sitting right beside you, his thigh touching yours.
“Can we sit like we did the other day? When we went to the beach?” You remembered how it had felt to sit between Bucky’s legs, his strong arms wrapped around you protectively. You felt safe from the world. It’s not that you needed Bucky to keep you safe physically, you were perfectly capable of looking after yourself, no, he made you feel accepted. It was a feeling you wanted to hold on to forever.
Bucky let you climb between his legs, taking a deep breath as your ass brushed against him, “Okay?” he asked, his hands holding the top of your arms gently.
You nodded. “What now?”
“Well… we just need to figure out what you like, what feels good for you.” He paused, trying to figure out how best to advise you. It wasn’t like there was an official manual to be followed. “May I?” He put his fingers around your wrist, asking for permission to guide your movements.
His palm radiated warmth and you felt goosebumps erupting across your arms. “That feel good?”
“Yeah.”
“Why don’t we start up here?” He guided your hand up to your neck. “Start with soft touches.”
Following Bucky’s instruction, you traced the muscles along your neck and across your clavicle. A soft sigh leaves your lips as you reach the center of your chest. Bucky’s eyes flicked to your face as you closed your eyes and leaned back into him, his chest moves up and down slowly. His sturdiness and strength only served to amplify your arousal. He saw you bite your lower lip as your fingers grazed the skin on your breast. Naturally you cupped it, massaging the tissue slowly.
“Try pinching your nipple,” he whispered in your ear.
You do as you’re told and find yourself whimpering quietly. The feeling between your legs amplified ten fold, clenching needily.
“And the other side too, Doll.” Bucky muttered, his fingers sliding up and down your upper arm, the same arm you were using to touch your own body. “Feel good?”
“So good,” you sighed.
You leaned back again, the delectable sensations had you arching your back and now that you had moved past your breast, you noticed that the level of pleasure had changed a little, dimmed slightly. Bucky watched with rapt attention, mentally noting what you responded to for future reference. He resisted the urge to bury his face in your neck, press his lips against your sweet smelling skin. Your fingers skated quickly over your abdomen and made their way between your legs.
“Take your time, Doll. From what I've learned, getting a woman all worked up makes things more… intense.
"Before you touch down there, try rubbing here," he moved your hands to your thighs. "Just on the inside, Doll, just like that. You can use your fingers, or your whole hand. Try and see what you like."
You sighed, trying out the different techniques on the flesh of your thighs. Bucky’s skin itched with desire, there was nothing he wanted more than to put his own hands on your thighs, but he had promised you and he would keep his word.
“I like it more with my finger tips,” you leaned back into him, looking up into his eyes with a smile.
As you did, you noticed something pressing into your lower back. You pushed against it, curious about its shape. A shuddering breath and strangled moan escaped your boyfriend’s lips.
You looked back up at Bucky with surprise and you saw the blush on his face. It is a little embarrassing that it took you so long to realize what was touching you.
“Is that…”
“Yeah…you can just ignore… him. He shows up sometimes without invitation,” Bucky mumbled.
“Do you want me to-” you started asking if he wanted you to touch him, but Bucky cut you off.
“No, today we’re here for you. Focus on your own body.” Bucky shifted his hips back to avoid further friction but that didn’t quite stop his body reacting to you.
Bucky’s fingers skated across your skin with the lightest of touches, his breathing heavier than it was before as he watched your hands stroke over your inner thighs, edging closer and closer to your leaking core.
“Buck-” you whined quietly.
“Yeah?”
“I want…”
“Go ahead, start with one hand, maybe?” he suggested. “Feel over the outside.”
You hummed, arching back against him, and earning a groan from Bucky.
“If you feel comfortable, you can put your fingers between the folds and try rubbing your-.”
“Clit?”
“Yeah.”
“Wow, there’s a lot… it’s really wet.” You comment as your slick coats your exploring fingers.
“That’s good,” Bucky said encouragingly. “Have you found your-”
You gasped and grabbed Bucky’s muscular thigh as your fingers brushed over your sensitive bud for the first time. Your pussy clenched needily at the sensation.
“I’ll take that as a yes,” he chuckled darkly.
You continue moaning as your fingers rub circles over your pulsing clit. “Oh Bucky…”
He groaned at the way his name left your lips, filled with such longing. He panted softly as his fingers dug into your flesh, he had moved them from your arms down to your waist and it was taking a lot of self control for him to not let them roam over the rest of your body.
“It feels, I … I -” You couldn’t find the words to express what you needed. The new deletable sensations were something you’d never experienced and it was almost overwhelming.
“Use your words, Doll. Tell me what you need.”
“Inside, I want something inside.” The throbbing at your core was getting stronger.
“Good girl, that means you’re doing it right.”
“How do I do it?”
“Move your legs apart a bit more.”
You obliged and Bucky moved his legs under yours so you could hook your ankles around them for support and open up for yourself.
“Ready?”
“Yes,” you said with more confidence, it felt good, you wanted this.
“Try putting one finger in first. Go slowly.” He put his hand on yours, directing your finger along your slit before helping you push into your entrance.
Your thighs tightened as your finger entered this new territory.
“Try to relax, Doll. Take your time.”
Your finger slipped inside, you took deep breaths in an attempt to slow your pounding heart. Bucky couldn't help himself, he put his hands on your thighs, almost a subconscious movement as he focused on your activities. Watching as you dragged your finger in and out of your dripping pussy.
"That's right, just like that." Bucky crooned in your ear.
His lips felt soft on your neck. You didn't notice how he palmed himself at the same speed that your finger was disappearing inside you.
"If you want, you can put more fingers inside you."
“Umm hmmm.” You didn’t need his guidance to know what you wanted. “Keep talking though.” His voice in your ear was serving to be more an aphrodisiac than you’d expected. You changed the speed of your trusts, suddenly aware of a new feeling that you couldn’t quite identify.
“You like how that feels, Doll? Try hooking your fingers up slightly.”
He knew you’d found the right spot because of the way you bit your lip and squeezed your eyes closed, pushing back into his chest.
“You’re allowed to make noise, Doll. Actually, I encourage it.”
Your hips began to rock of their own accord and you could hear Bucky panting behind you.
“Oh God,” you whined. “Bucky…”
“I’m right here, Doll. You’re doing so good,” he moaned. “Use this hand, here.” Bucky placed your other hand over your clit, letting you take over rubbing the hard bud.
“Bucky…”
“Yeah?”
“Bucky,” you whimpered desperately, brows knitted together. You had no idea what you wanted from him. “Bucky-yy.”
“It’s okay, Doll. You’ve got this.”
You did, because without warning you felt yourself hurtling over the edge of a precipice you didn’t know you’d been standing on. Your walls pulses around your fingers as your body undulated to the feeling of ecstasy spreading out from your core through to your fingertips. Your powers crackled in a glow that surrounded your body.
As your breath finally settled down, you relaxed back into Bucky’s arms, a ridiculous smile spread across your face. Bucky’s arms surrounded you, holding you making you feel safe and supported.
“So? How did it feel?” Bucky asked, a tad impatiently.
You laughed bashfully in response, words not quite able to describe how giddy you felt in that moment, until Bucky was laughing along with you. You caught his lips as he turned his head to look at you, expressing your thanks with an affectionate kiss. As you leaned back, you were reminded of Bucky’s situation.
“That was amazing, Bucky. But what about you?” you asked.
“What about me?”
“Don’t you have to- I want to feel you… inside me.” Your voice dropped in volume at the end of your sentence.
Bucky shook his head. “Next time, today was for you. Besides, I kinda came when you were…” His voice trailed off looking a little embarrassed.
“Oh, sorry.”
“No, it’s not your fault, well actually-”
“Hey!” you pouted.
“In a good way. You look beautiful."
"Thanks for not judging me."
"Thank you for accepting me. For trusting me."
"Of course, Bucky. What happens now?"
"After we get dressed, we can order some food and watch a movie?"
"And maybe plan for when we can do this again?" You asked shyly.
"Sure thing, Doll."
You were glad that you'd had the courage to ask Bucky for his help, and hopefully some day soon, you'd be able to feel even closer to him that you'd done today.
#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes imagine
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Ford x Reader x Sleep
It's not so much that you awaken as you're drop-kicked into consciousness. Heart racing, disoriented--it's still dark--Ford is sitting up beside you, panting, clutching the duvet to his chest.
Shit. Something's wrong. Fire? Intruder? "Ford?" You croak.
Ford looks in your general direction, confused. Then his eyes focus and his shoulders sag. He takes a ragged breath and smooths your hair.
"Nothing," he mumbles, voice shaky. "Nothing. Go back to sleep."
You frown up at him. "Bullshit," you say. "What's wrong?"
He looks out the window. Or, he would be looking out the window if the curtains weren't drawn. "Just a bad dream."
You prop yourself up on an elbow. Ford told you he had nightmares sometimes, but he's never startled you awake before. "It must have been pretty intense," you say. "Do you want to tell me about it?"
Silence. He stares hard at nothing. "You--" he stops, clears his throat, tries again. "You… he…" Ford closes his eyes. "He… possessed you."
No need to ask who HE is. Your stomach knots up on Ford's behalf. "Hey. Look at my eyes," you say softly, reaching out to place a hand on his cheek. "It's just me in here. He's gone. Forever."
Ford scowls, shoving your hand aside. "You think I don't know that?"
You flinch back. That stings, even if you know he's only angry at himself. "Hey, asshole, I'm trying to comfort you here. Either let me try or let me sleep."
At that, he grunts and lays back down, facing away from you. You stare at his back, wondering what you should do; you've never seen him like this and you might have just fucked it up. Before you can decide on a course of action, he rolls over to face you and rolls you onto your side and pulls you tight against his chest. You can feel his shaky breathing, his pounding heart.
You try to turn and look at him, but his arm around you is so tight you're pretty much pinned. If he doesn't calm down soon, you're gonna have bruises. And not the fun kind.
He clearly doesn't want to talk about it, so that leaves distraction. Distraction, distraction… ah! You say quietly, "Did I ever tell you about the moment I decided not to be a scientist?"
He shifts, arm loosening fractionally. "I didn't know you'd ever considered it."
You smile. This is totally going to work. "Yeah, I actually entered college as a chemistry major. There I was, all of 18 years and two weeks old, in organic lab, WAY over my head--"
"Organic chemistry as a freshman?"
"Oh. Yeah. I guess I tested out of a bunch of credits."
"You never told me that." There's a gentle admonishment in his voice. You try to find a tactful way to say I don't talk about my college days because I'm an adult and finally decide on, "It never came up. Anyway, there I was in my first real chemistry lab, surrounded by all this strange equipment, and I was just trying to get the melting point of something." Which you do by waiting for a chunk of it to melt and then reading a thermometer. Science is not always complicated. "I turned the heat on, but I knew this thing had a pretty high melting point, so I started writing up my report while I was waiting, but then I got distracted and forgot I was heating it up… until the machine got so hot the thermometer blew out of its housing and shattered against the ceiling."
Silence. Ford's body, pressed against you, begins to twitch with laughter. "You FORGOT?"
You shrug as best your pinned shoulders will allow. "It scared the bejezus out of the whole class. Thank god it wasn't a mercury thermometer! No one was hurt. But that's when I knew I wasn't cut out for life in a lab. Changed my major to computer science the very next day."
You feel Ford shake his head behind you. "Too bad. You would have made a great chemist."
You laugh at that. "Clearly I would not have! Anyway, no regrets. I made it through the CS program without breaking a single machine. Wait, did I… no. The printer broke itself. I just put it out of its misery. Which was honestly one of the more fun times I had in college..."
"Mmmm," Ford says. Your scheme is working; he's falling asleep. You stop rambling as you feel his arm go slack.
You open your eyes to find yourself in the middle of a chem lab. The air burns your throat and stings your eyes. The tables around you are full of improbable setups, Rube Goldberg glassware hosting all manner of sickly-colored liquids. As you look closer, you notice the liquids are flowing the wrong way through the glassware.
You jump at the sound of glass shattering on the floor behind you. As you turn around, the lights flicker. A voice speaks, seeming to come from all around you and inside your head all at once.
"AND JUST WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?"
You jerk awake, feeling cold sweat on your face. Ford's arm still drapes across your stomach, his breathing still slow and easy. Good, you didn't wake him up. You try to match his breathing, focus on the physical sensations of his warmth and weight against you, try to calm down. Dreams, man.
The next thing you know, a big hand is smoothing your hair. You force your eyes open to see it's morning. Ford is sitting on the edge of the bed, looking at you intensely. This isn't bizarre exactly, but it's not his normal pattern. Usually when you wake up, he's either long out of bed and knee-deep in mad science, or snuggled up next to you. You make an inarticulate questioning noise.
"I… made you coffee." He's strangely bashful, gesturing at the mug on your nightstand. Next to the mug is a plate of peanut butter toast and strawberries, aka the most breakfast you ever eat.
Ford brought you breakfast in bed.
Ford has never brought you breakfast in bed before. You didn't know he was even aware of breakfast in bed as a concept.
You sit up, turning to lean against him as you reach for the coffee. "Thanks," you say, not managing to keep the confusion out of your voice. He puts an arm around your waist and scoots closer.
Ford stays quiet, unusually quiet, while you drink your coffee. After nearly half a cup, he finally speaks. "No one's seen me like that before." He looks back to you, eyes locking onto yours. "I hope you don't think less of me."
You set your mug on the table and turn to face him. "Think less of you? No, of course not, why would I? Nightmares are scary."
He scowls, looking away. "You didn't deserve to be treated like that."
It finally clicks. He's embarrassed about waking up in a panic, and wants to apologize for snapping at you. You sigh, putting a hand on his knee. "Seriously, it's no big deal. You were freaked out, you didn't mean anything by it. Honestly, your reaction was pretty standard. I dated one guy who would actually wake up screaming--"
He looks at you then, pinching your hip playfully. There's the slightest smirk on his face. "I don't need to know about your exes."
You smirk back at him. "Point being, don't worry about it. I barely even remember waking up."
He looks relieved. "Were you able to get back to sleep ok?"
Were you? Now that he mentions it, you vaguely remember having an unsettling dream of your own. What was it…? Maybe you're just remembering feeling unsettled on his behalf. You nod and say, "Out like a light."
"Good." He takes your hand in his and squeezes it. And then, after a pause, he adds, "You know, before you, I would just spend the rest of the night awake. Pacing up and down the halls or writing in my journals. But with you…" he shakes his head, smiling. "I went back to sleep. You're a gift, and I intend to appreciate you better in the future."
You smile at him. "I like the sound of that."
He moves in to kiss you, and you gladly let him.
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hiiii
could you write carmy x reader where she’s a high school friend and carmy always had a crush on her (but he thought she had a crush on mikey) ???? like maybe richie brings her up, and that she’s still in town and SINGLE and carmy gets red like a tomato and ??? richie makes her visit the beef and candy almost has a heart attack?? idk give me some in love carmen !!
pretty pleaseee and thank u
so I got this request and I immediately thought of swim by chase atlantic, and specifically the line that goes;
“I’ve been drowning for a minute, your body keeps pulling me in”
And holy shit if that isn’t Carmen in his denial-in-love with a long time friend era, I don't know what is. Carmen tries too hard to forget you, but you've marked permanently, you've ruined him for anyone else so can you blame him for waiting for you all this time?
Seriously though this request was so good! I got a bit carried away and turned into a 2 part series that may or may not have drabbles added to the universe…I really hope this isn't just a load of word vomit you don't want to read lmao. I just love their dynamic so much, and also FRIDAY DINNERS AT THE BEEF IS CANON OKAY.
Golden Boy
part one of 2
warnings: miscommunication (i know i'm sorry), friends to lovers, carmen and the reader have horrible communication skills and don't know how to call, angst, anxiety
a/n: part two will be up hopefully tomorrow so look out! it may or may not include a smut scene 😈
p.s, listen to swim whilst reading this you'll thank me later
You sat hunched in the tight enclosure of the classroom desk chairs, the once loud conversations fluttering across the huddled groups of classmates and friends that stood against tables and chairs now coming to a standstill.
The air of anxious trepidation falls across the atmosphere of the damp classroom, the windows that had been opened to let the air in felt thin as you and the rest of the students you had known for half a decade waited for that familiar ring of the bell.
The bell that would solidify your last day in this classroom, in these run down halls, in the school you had first stumbled into anxious and oblivious at thirteen.
Your heart ached at the nostalgia of it, and you can't bear to cast your gaze to your friends who had begun to sniffle, like they were holding back tears, the grandfather clock your geography teacher insisted on keeping ticked on as it always did, and whilst you had spent years burning holes through the glass, willing for it to go faster, your one dying wish is for the seconds to tick by in minutes.
You weren’t ready, it ran straight through you, all this time leading up, from when you had first learnt your desire to pursue architecture till the moment you finished that last sentence on your final exams, you felt you would be filled with joy at the sound of your true departure into adulthood and college.
And yet, you felt like a kid again, learning how to ride a bicycle without the training wheels, trying to reach the fifth monkey bar, falling headfirst into the dirt ground of the field when you had thought you were more flexible then you truly were.
You didn’t want to leave, you didn't want to leave this place, this place of memories and friends and people you knew and loved. And it was as if God was listening, cause the resounding echo of the school bell rang through the halls and it was as if he said ‘fuck you anyway’.
You gather the haphazard books and papers laying across your desk, you had purposefully delayed packing in order to waste as much time in this memory as possible, before adulthood would take it away and make it something of the past. You hear your friends calling your name, and you tell them to go ahead as you make your way to your teachers desk.
“Hey Mr Jefferson” You say to your teacher has begun to bid goodbye to the leaving students
Your teacher looks up at you with a tight smile, sadness washes over the wrinkles and creases of her features, her auburn hair falling in short waves at her shoulder and her olive lipstick wearing down. You have to swallow to stop the tears from dropping. Your Geography teacher, whilst not teaching Art, had been the catapult to realizing your fascination with Architecture and design. She had even helped tell your parents, who had been set on the idea of you going into Law or Medicine or anything other than creative arts.
“You’ll do amazing, I believe it because I see how hard you try. Don’t look back at this place, leave with the door wide open and come back only when you want to design me a house” Your Teacher replies with a grin, and before you can reply shes shuffling through her drawers, before pulling out a sketchbook that has been aged and stained with use over the years.
“What’s this?” You ask, twisting the book in your hand, it was good quality, despite being old, it felt like an heirloom.
“It’s one of my sketchbooks I had during college, maybe some of my late night sketches fuelled by coffee and donuts might inspire you”
“I couldn't possible-”
“Yes you could, hell whatever you create will probably be 10 x greater than whatever is in there” Your teacher cuts you off with a chuckle, and you hug the notebook tight against your chest before hugging her goodbye.
You step into the familiar walls of your high school hallways, crowds of seniors running to find their friends and hug them for possibly the last time, test papers and report cards left trampled on the ground, it's chaos, but you love it and the sight almost pulls tears down your waterline.
You walk towards your locker, before you recognize the familiar wisps of blond curls catch your eyesight. Carmen. You considered him one of your closest friends, bonding together over a love of game** and your equal hatred of your Period 4 Calculus teacher.
Carmen didn't have much when I came to be friends, and after he met you, it didn't really get to him anymore, he had you now, and you were more than enough. Over the years you had gotten close to every part of Carmen's life, Mickey, Richie, Sugar, they were all people you regarded as family.
But there was something unsaid between the both of you, it was like there was something beyond friendship, but the embers had just gathered and had left unignited.
He’s gathering his things from his locker, shoving them into a bag in that messy way he is, and he slams the locker with a jolt.
You're standing stationary in the middle of the hallway, classmates and other seniors running by you in confusion, your friends calling your name annoyed, but it's all muffled, it all doesn't matter because it's Carm and god your heart aches so bad.
You see Carmen and he sees you, stopping a few meters away from you, and a moment of recognition washes over him as he gazes with those cerulean blues. There's grief in the way you look at each other, tears streaming down your cheek as you try to smile at him, realising this might be the last time you see him, forever, off to an Art school in New York, leaving him behind. You feel like your heart is being ripped from your chest and he shakes his head, his eyebrows scrunching up as he steps closer so that he’s only a whisper from you.
He brings his hand up, brushing a strand and tucking in behind your ear, eyes strained as he wipes your tears away painfully. He moves closer, so that his breath is against your neck and whispers
“Thought you told me you'd punch me in the stomach if I cried on the last day” Carmen whispers into your eyes with a grin that breaks through the tears that cause his eyes to swirl in colour's of waves.
His words make you laugh and cry at the same time, and you shake your head as you reach for his arm, and playfully hit your stomach with it. Carmen rests it against your waist, looking up to you in a pained expression, his eyes shift to the notebook grasped tight in your hands
“New sketchbook? That..doesn't look new” Carmen says, turning his head to examine the old book more closely.
“One of Mrs Jefferson’s, her sketches are..their fucking amazing” You sigh, running your hand across the folded spine of the sketch book.
“Thought teachers weren't meant to have favourites” Carmen shoots out, a playful grin on his lips
“Hmm, well they aren't supposed to tell you exactly” You banter with a giggle, you flick through the pages of the book, half drawn sketches in grey lead and ballpoint, Carmen tracing his fingers gently across the ingrained lines and shades.
“God you're something, you know that?” Carmen says, all of a sudden, and when you look up you realise he’s been staring at you the entire time.
“Bear..” You breathe out.
“I don't know how I'm going to-, I, it's all so much” You exhale, waving your arms around this place that has held so many memories, so much of your past kept in the creaks and cracks of plastered walls and lockers
“You're the only person in this goddamn place that's going to make something out of themselves, I bet my entire life on it Bug. You're going to do amazing, in that big city, you’re going to show em’' Carmen replies, grasping you against his touch tight. You look up at him, trying to memorise every dip and curve of his features, the curl of his hair that shone honey in the sun, those eyes that were always searching, and the small cut on his forehead where he fell off his skateboard that one summer evening.
“Don’t say goodbye”
“Okay” Your tongue feels like deadweight in your mouth. what if i never see you again?
“You say goodbye and it's the end. Just..don’t” I can't breathe carmy.
You can’t stop yourself from wrapping your arms around him, pressing your nose into his shirt to smell the scent of patchouli and cigarettes he always carried, you want to tell him to come with you, to pack an overnight bag and run with you forever, but the words don’t taste right when you try to speak and you see yourself letting him go, and turning away with a shaky step.
Turn back Carmen whispers, so softly that only the gods above and the wind around him can hear it
You feel an urge to turn back, it speaks to you from within, and before you can stop yourself, your neck cranes, turning your body to get one last look at your golden boy before time would take him forever.
Time would age him into a memory forever.
Carmen feels this tension leave his shoulders at the same time his heart shatters, you will find each other again, even if it was in another universe, where you're sitting across from each other at the kitchen table, going over groceries together with the afternoon light casting its glow across you. He will find you, he will find you and he won’t let go this time.
*
“Honestly Ma, it’s fine, I’ll get the movers to come in a little early”. You groan into the phone pressed to your ear, papers and unresolved bills are left scattered across your dining room table and you have this itch that's begun to turn chronic somewhere you can’t reach.
You take a moment to look around your apartment, now barren of furniture, and filled instead with boxes of badly organised stuff you've accumulated over the years. This place, albeit small, had been your home ever since you stepped out of the yellow cabbed taxi on your first day in New York, and whilst it wasn't pretty, you felt a pang of guilt leaving it all behind. These walls had seen you through it all, the late night study cram’s, the breakdowns, the accomplishments, the one night stands. You'd miss her, but maybe you were just a nostalgic person.
You’ve made a life in New York, but you felt misplaced, like pieces of yourselves were scattered across the states. Chicago kept a part of you, and it was only when you had gotten the chance to move back home, did it click. You missed your city. And you had cut your lease and emptied out the last of your savings without a second thought.
Now all that was left was tying up loose ends and making the trip down. It was funny, in a way. You had run to New York to pursue architecture, and it brought you back to the very same place you had left, there was a certain trepidation when you thought of Chicago, it held so much of your past, in its city streets and evergreen trees, and you don’t know if you were quite ready to face those memories again.
*
It still smelled the same. You itch your nose, sniffling against the blooming scent of cocoa and caramel from the Chicago roads, all this time, and all that you can tell is how it still smelt like maple leaves and chocolate. It was comforting, and it felt like the warm embrace of a childhood friend that had stayed sitting on the corner of your suburban street corner all this time.
“Thank you Mae, really, I got the call last minute in New York to come back here and if it weren't for you, I’d be moving back into my old bedroom at my parents” You reply, gratitude filling every word. It was true, your friend had swooped in the second you called, fixing you up with a lease and an apartment with her realtor links. She came in a clutch, and she had made you promise to never leave her again in exchange.
“Oh shush doll, of course. This is probably payment for all the times I’ve crashed at yours anyway” Mae winks, the bracelets on her wrist clinking against each other. She didn't look like a typical realtor, more like a bohemian solo-traveller with her filly skirts and auburn red hair.
“I’m not going to let a degree transform my entire wardrobe, my clothes are antiques, their heirlooms, they tell a story”
She had told you once, one late night on the rooftop of your New York apartment, sipping cheap wine and passing a blunt between you both. You wish you had known yourself as much as she did then.
She had visited you a couple times in New York, coming up for work and spending the time at yours instead of spending thousands on an Airbnb, but it had been a while since you've seen her, and all of a sudden you remember how much you missed her laugh.
“I’ve got some time to spend before it’s all hand on deck” You reply, placing the last of your boxes onto the empty wooden floor of the living room.
“Oh yeah? Can’t believe you’re gonna design a whole building on Michigan Av’, your a fucking inspiration Bug” Mae sighs in adoration, and you giggle, the feeling of embarrassment filling you at the mention of your reason back home.
You never got used to the praise and adoration you received over the years, despite your many accolades and awards, you still felt like that hopelessly broke architect student giving up lunch to pay rent. You didn’t remember when things started to change. When did things start to change?
“You know, if you’ve got time, you should check out the Farmers Market near River North” Mae replies, whilst flicking through her phone
“The one on Division Street?” You reply, you had a faint memory of the long strip of stalls filled with fresh produce, food and the rest of the little trinkets that were sold since you were born on the pleated table cloth of sheltered booths.
“That’s the one, this guy named Samson? Makes the best fucking bearclaw in the entire United States. Tell him you're a friend of mine and he'll hook you up…you know since you can't afford it” Mae replies playfully, and you roll your eyes with a laugh.
“Yeah yeah, you hook up with him or something?” You poke back, Mae had the tendency to know everyone in Chicago, from the mailman to the old woman you’d see feeding the bids on a park bench.
“Yeah, actually I did. Not like you could relate, how long has it been, hm?” Mae replies, stepping forward to whisper down at your pants.
“I’m so sorry she hasn't been taking care of you. What are you, mummify her?” Mae looks up from her crouched position with a raised eyebrow.
“Ugh, you know I've been too busy to think about that. She’s gonna have to be patient” You reply, you don’t want to think about how long it has actually been, since you've had any type of release. But the tension has begun to weigh on your shoulders as time went on and you fear it might become something you can’t ignore.
You begin to move some boxes into your bedroom, thanks to your planning your large furniture such as your bed and coach, had been moved into the apartment before the rest of the things had got here, so at least you wouldn't be sleeping on a mattress on the floor. Changing into a pair of dark jeans and a short sleeve top, you loop an embroidered handbag onto your shoulder.
“So, you coming?” You call to Mae, who’s begun to fill your fridge with the groceries she's swung by with.
“Sure would Bug, but got a call to come in. I’ll come by again later this evening though?” Mae replies, with a grunt as she lifts the 2 litre bottle of milk onto one of the drive shelves.
“Yes please, I’m dying for a glass of wine”
“And a blunt” Mae replies, snickering at the way you roll your eyes at her.
Mae offers to drop you off, but you wave her off, telling her you wanted to see a little more of your hometown. You needed some fresh air that wasn't the coffee and smoke scent of the New York streets.
The walk to the Farmers market was a short one, but you felt like you were wading through a current. By the way the memories of your past began to resurface as you passed the streets and shops. Every corner holds a part of you, and you have to rush by your old school to stop the pang of pain that surprises you. You weren't an emotional person, but god it was almost as if you were hanging by a thread the second you touched down on Chicago.
What was causing this? You felt like you were holding your breath as you stepped through the fallen autumn leaves marking the sidewalk, the gentle sun on your back, what were you waiting for?
You tear yourself from your thoughts momentarily when you catch the looming buildings that had been built on ions ago, the infrastructure of Chicago still enamoured you, in a way that couldn't be beaten by even New York’s impossible skyscrapers.
There was a charm to it, each of the buildings felt like you were stepping into a different decade, they had been the stepping stones to a lot of the infrastructure and architecture that spread into other cities. You felt like you were at the start of it all every time your eyes trailed across the facade and arcades of the century old stone buildings.
Without realising, you had finally made it to the Farmers Market, the constant stream of people coming in and out with boxes of produce or hauling wooden antiques with very audible grunts. You can’t stop the smile stretching your face as you step through the embroidered banner at the front of the street.
Despite the many different stalls and food around you, you don't feel overstimulated. This was your home, you felt like you belonged, like a name scratched into wet cement, remaining ingrained for years no matter the seasons that came.
You go over the haphazard list of things you wanted to look for in your mind, but you're caught off guard by a stall that seemed to be huddled by patrons. You step towards it, and as people move aside you see the blooming flowers and carefully wrapped banquets in woven wooden baskets to the side of the stall. A short woman with light brown curls is standing at the front, taking down orders with a grin, whilst a rather tall man behind her makes quick work to wrap delicate orders into soft brown parchment paper tied with string.
And all of a sudden the need to buy pink tulips becomes your first priority. The woman at the front looks familiar, but you can't quite put your finger on where you've seen her, but as you walk up to the front her face morphs into familiar as she looks up at you in surprise.
“As I live and breathe” She says your name with a screech and it's her voice that pulls her name to your mouth. Adeline, a close friend from senior year who’d taught you how to crochet and pick a lock.
“Bug? How've you been? What brings you back to town?” Ade replies after telling the man behind her your order without you even saying a thing.
“Tulips, pink ones right?” Ade grins, and you have to let out a chuckle at how you haven't changed even a little.
“Got invited to join in designing a new building on Michigan Avenue, so I'll be back for a while-”
“Michigan Avenue? Holy shit Bug! You’re making moves, knew you always were special” Adeline replies with a gushing smile and you rush to reply with the same adoration
“Are you kidding, look at this line” You motion to the increasing line of people forming at Adeline's stall.
“People love their flowers” Adeline replies with a shrug before you shake your head vehemently
“No, they love your flowers, and for good reason, look at these” You gush, pressing your face into the bundle of tulips that had been handed to you.
“They only look that good because Henry's so good at wrapping them” Adeline replies with a laugh, her eyes flicking to the brown haired man dressed in corduroy behind her. A look passes between them that tells you there was more than love between them.
“Henry huh?” You reply with a grin, and the man is quick to introduce himself, and you don’t ignore the cold press of an encrusted band on his ring finger as he shakes your hand with a soft smile.
And it's as if Adeline reads your mind and she slips her left hand in yours, looking up at you with a teary grin.
“Yes, yes I know, I should've called, and I’m so sorry-”
You press yourself against her, leaning over the stall to wrap your arms around her. You whisper words of congratulation, shutting down any words that hinted at you being mad at her.
It wasn't her fault, it should be you she's mad at, you hadn’t really made that much of an effort to keep in contact with your friends back at home, and the reality of it weighed on you heavy now, you had missed so many milestones of your loved ones, all to chase your own dreams in New York.
You felt like you were constantly playing catch up, and you couldn't lie when a strange feeling crept up at the thought of your friends moving on with life. You were so incredibly happy for Adeline, and you were even more elated when she had told you of the Wedding in April that you had to come to.
But that didn't stop that same strange feeling of being behind everyone else, you had spent so long climbing the ladder to wear what you wear now, relationships and love weren't even a thought, you filled your nights with studying and drawing and the occasional fling, but nothing more. And now doubts had begun to creep in, had you missed out?
Watching everyone around you get married and have kids whilst you were still drawing buildings in that same sketchbook your teacher had given you 8 years ago. You’re not looking as you walk past the many stalls of the Farmers market, and it is your thoughts again that causes you to accidentally stumble into the hard muscle of a man back. You feel yourself falling, before arm's reach out, grabbing you quickly to stop you from ending flat on your face.
You breath out a sigh of relief, shaking a head at your clumsiness
“God, ‘m so sorry, I’ve just been in my head, I wasn’t looking where i was going-”
“Holy fuck” Your quick to spit an apologetic thanks, you haven't even looked up to see who you've dubbed into, and when the sound of surprise meets your ease you look up, only to be remain stone faced with your mouth left open.
“Richie?” You say, the shock of it is still in the air. You hadn't expected to see him in Chicago, or maybe you did and it was sooner than you thought.
“When did you get back? Holy shit, thought we wouldn't see you again” Richie replies with a smile
“Yeah uh, came down for some work for a little while. How, uh How are things” You reply with a squeak, you can’t bear to say what you're thinking and Richie nods, a look of acknowledgement in his face. Mickey’s death had shaken you, it had changed you in its own way, and you still grief him, it still hurts when Richie's face kinda falls and melts at the reminder of his best friend's death.
“After, uh, after Mickey, he had left the restaurant, you know, the Beef?” You nod in agreement, the hazy memory of the sandwich shop on the corner of Chicago's, busiest streets, you stomach rumbles at the thought of one of those sandwiches you'd down in less than a minute during your high school years.
“Yeah well, get this, he left it to Carmen. And honestly, I was hesitant at first, real hesitant, I love him, but god, he's a self centred ass coming in like he knew everything, spewing the bullshit CDC shit he learnt up in the big apple? He changed things, and you know how I feel about change, but he made it better, I can;t lie, and you better not tell him this, but the Beef actually..” Richie’s familiar rambles are muffled to your ears, the only thing you can hear is Carmen.
Everything zones out as you scrunch your eyebrows, wincing almost, at the pain and it shocks you, it shocks you how the very name of him still brings back those memories. You still hurt the same way you did the day you left him.
You must have looked out of it, as Richie shakes your shoulder, anchoring you back to the present, and you have to swallow back the bite of pain that bleeds through your chest.
“Did you hear what I said? The Beef’s holding a little family dinner tomorrow, shutting down the shop early, inviting only friends and family, it’ll be like a little reunion for you! You have to come” Richie replies, and you nod trying to seem present.
Carmen took over the Beef? He was in New York? What?
Your mind is scattered with the uproar of questions you have, the thought of Carmen, the memory of him is like a fresh wound. It un tethered and opens up a thread of thoughts and emotions you had thought you bottled up and threw deep into the ocean.
“You, you still talk to him right? Ya’ll were pretty close growing up, like fucking thieves attached to the hip if i can remember” Richie chuckles, fondly remembering the two of you.
You cough back, smiling up at him as you trying to reply coherently
“Yeah, uh sometimes you know” You lie
No. You haven't spoken to him since you left, and it feels like your tongue falls dead when you try to say his name again. You hadn't called and he hadn't picked up. Carmen told you not to say goodbye, but the truth was it had been the end of you even before you had both realised.
You had spent years pretending like Carmen not calling you, not making an effort to see you after everything didn’t burn, but the reality of it had marked you in a way that felt eternal.
“So you're coming, yeah? You and Carmen can finally catch up” Richie replies with a smile, and look of something passes through his eyes before it leaves, and you have to smile back with a nod, like you and Carmen were still close, like you don't feel that he might turn you away or scream at you the second he saw you, like you weren't both irrevocably in love with each other.
Bear. You missed him, you are shocked by how much you do, you thought bottling up your memories and emotions about him and stuffing them so far back into your mind you forgot would actually change anything. There had always been this lingering thought, at the recesses of your mind, the last thing you imagined before you fell asleep, the feeling that filled you the second you came back to Chicago, it was all Carmen, it was all your golden boy.
And now you would have to see him, in less than a day you would be in the same room as Carmen Berzatto, you don't want to say it, you don't want to speak it into acknowledgement but deep down, you wanted to see him again.
Beyond it all, you both were bonded in friendship, sharing something you didn't even have with Adeline or Mae, and you had felt like a part of yourself was missing each day that went passed without hearing from him. Had he forgotten you? Had it been as hard for him to go on with life? He had been in New York for christ sake, he didn't even think to visit you, that thought alone made you want to run back home and never come out.
You couldn't bare the possibility of exposing yourself to such heartache, to the chance of being rejected by the very person who you forever longed for. You were always searching for him, looking through crowds to see the familiar curl of his brown hair, or the scent he carried, ears always leaning in, trying to see if it would catch his syrupy baritone voice.
The two of you were forever connected, like the roots of trees spanning miles under the Earth. The kind of companionship that transcended time and space, and god did you want to feel the sharp edge of his jaw between your hands.
You couldn't stop it now, Richie had opened something you kept locked and sunk for a reason, and now it felt like you would break if you didn't see Carmen. Even if it would break you, even if it was the one thing in this world that would destroy you,
You had to see your golden boy.
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