#((and I'm about to make it y'all's problem too so buckle up))

[lost-kingsmen]

((Mayor Aether likes to talk with his hands, and as Gawain has learned the hard way, he is far more durable than his 'just an average human' disguise would imply.))

[kradogsrats]

Aaravos, Leola, and the Entire History of Human Magic

ALL RIGHT, BUCKLE THE FUCK UP:

So after my "Leola and Laurelion might be the same person" crazy, I was looking shit up to write a post about alternately Laurelion possibly being Aaravos, as in Laurelion was the immortal Aaravos, and Aaravos is the fallen Laurelion, because of this:

White as the star's heart it pierced, as in "Novablade is white, and the star's heart was also white."

Who... had the white heart of a star...

... and now... doesn't?

hmmmmMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

However, the problem with this is that Aaravos at least appears to go from powered/heart-ed version:

To de-powered, heart...less? version:

...when he's imprisoned. At least, according to the way Zubeia tells it.

Meanwhile, in Ripples, we see what is presumably Aaravos's actual "fall," as the "Fallen Star"—a literal descent from the heavens. This occurs long, long before the events of Aaravos's imprisonment, before dark magic, before Elarion.

I'll note that part of what I'm taking into account here is a note from the artbook on Aaravos's designs:

As a "fallen" Startouch elf, Aaravos can only access a fraction of his former power.

So it seems like the assumption to make would be that Aaravos lost his powers and status when he was cast from the heavens, which is also where I would assume Laurelion dies and Aaravos is "born" if the Laurelion/Aaravos as the same being dichotomy was in play. Then why is his heart not blackened until he's imprisoned?

One possibility is that his empowered appearance is an illusion he's maintaining—another manipulation, that's dropped when he's imprisoned.

Another possibility is this is all bullshit, and everything is as generally assumed before: when Aaravos was imprisoned, the majority of his power was somehow stripped.

Leaving that aside for a moment, let's take a look at the order of operations here, historically.

Humanity looks to the stars to save them, but the stars do not respond:

— Patience

At some point, humanity is granted some kind of blessing from the heavens, long before humans built cities and became powerful:

— Patience

ALSO at some point, humanity is granted the power of primal magic. By tradition this was from the unicorns, in particular Leola:

— Tales of Xadia

However, this magic is forbidden them:

— Ripples

Aaravos is cast from the heavens in a calamity that creates the Sea of the Castout—again, long before dark magic:

— Ripples

Further, in the retelling of this story, Aaravos notes that the stars apparently were satisfied with the results of casting him out. It scarred the land, and frightened the humans—and their claim on primal magic—into submission:

— Ripples

I'll add another note from the artbook here on Aaravos's design:

Some designs had a strong, authoritative vibe that suited other Startouch elves, but not our "fallen star."

Finally, let's look at this again:

Aaravos, obviously, on his knees and in despair. A feminine-appearing elf who is almost certainly another Startouch elf, by the horn shape and the design of the crown on her brow.

I've seen at least one person cast this as a rendition of Aaravos's punishment, in that she represents the other stars and gestures as if to say "behold how far our brother has fallen."

But y'all. Y'ALL. Please.

We have seen this gesture FAR too many times for it to be something else, at this point. This is mercy, and love, and the passing of a torch.

So, let me clean this up into what I think happened:

The stars are largely absent gods, indifferent to the fate of humans and interested in only their design/prophecy of the world.

Leola, another Startouch elf (or else we're gonna stretch the definition of "unicorn" pretty far), takes pity on humanity and grants them the secret of primal magic.

Leola is somehow punished for this transgression. If Laurelion is Leola, she is killed. (The Celestial elves, in this case, are the guardians of the stars' order and power in Xadia. They are the last line of defense against this sort of thing.)

Aaravos, who loved Leola, either speaks on her behalf or otherwise rebels against the order of the stars. Aaravos is cast out. If Laurelion is Aaravos, he is robbed of his heart and his power.

"Leola's Last Wish" is to continue to be a guide to humanity, through the darkness.

Aaravos, meanwhile, fucking loses his mind and decides to burn down everything. He will destroy everything the stars put in place in all of Xadia, and he will leverage humans to do it.

Aaravos begins to spin up dark magic, and when the time is right, gifts it to humanity as the inciting action of his plan to tear all of Xadia apart. More on that here.

ADDENDUM: Chatting with @raayllum immediately after writing this and they raised the possibility of Leola being Aaravos’s mother, given the parallel to Sarai in the statue, and YES that makes so much sense. Particularly regarding the star-child constellation, him adopting her crown, and why he might be punished along with her. I like this explanation better than them being lovers, even if it means TDP gains yet another goddamn martyr mother.

Anyway, that's it! Mystery of Aaravos solved.

[i-am-thedragon]

Sodie Snakification Modifications!

Buckle up because I have a LOT to tell y'all about the making of this one.

From the beginning I knew I wanted the new Sodie snakifications to be based more on the liquid drink itself rather than the straws and can it comes in. I knew that would involve some playing around with new materials, but I had no idea the ordeal I was in for.

Initially I had dedicated a very small unused area of the Sodies' texture maps to a transparent colour that would be used for the 'liquid' parts. I first tested it on a placeholder head part and it worked just fine. But when I went to use it for the limbs, there was no longer any transparency. This confused me.

And so began a several days long search for the solution to this, which involved custom materials, testing different geometry, and even messing with xml and irrlicht files. Unfortunately nothing worked. I knew my textures and materials were not the problem because transparency worked on the head part, but for reasons I couldn't fathom it only worked on the head part. And I knew transparency was possible on limb parts because the Hunnabee parts use it.

Eventually, I got an answer from the Young Horses developer Kevin on the official Young Horses Discord server. Apparently, all I needed to do was copy a line of XML from the Hunnabee definition file to the definition file of my Bugsnax of choice. Honestly I'm not sure how I'd missed that in all my previous efforts. The name of the value I needed was "InventoryHasTransparency", maybe the "inventory" part threw me off? Anyway, I have to give my greatest thanks to Kevin for once again saving my mod (the first instance was right at the beginning)

So I had working transparency on the limbs, but at that point the limbs were just flat-coloured without any bump/normal detail. The space the limbs occupied in the UV layout was far too small to put any meaningful detail in.

The thing with Bugsnak UVs is that the eye UVs take up (in my opinion) a lot more space than they need to. One could optimise the texture space significantly by overlapping identical eyelid, pupil, and eye UV islands. I could do this easily, except the animated models of the bugs themselves us .X (DirectX) files instead of .obj files. I have had zero(0) luck with working with DirectX files in Blender. The importer breaks animations, and every exporting option breaks them further.

However, I had a cheeky solution. You see, DirectX files can be opened in Notepad++ and have semi-comprehensible blocks of text data. This includes texture/UV layout data. So if I could import the Sodie's DirectX file, ignore the broken animations, change the UVs, and re-export it (once again ignoring the broken animations), I could theoretically just copy the modified texture layout data from one to the other.

The only problem was that I was exporting as an obj or fbx file and then using FragMotion to convert it to a DirectX file, and Fragmotion insists on triangulating any tetragonal polygons. This, for some reason, absolutely breaks the result of my attempted data transfer. Thankfully I found an online converter that converts fbx files into non-triangulated DirectX files, and my convoluted UV data transfer plan ended up working perfectly.

With that, I had plenty of space to put a much nicer bubbly liquid texture, and use that for the limbs. Anyway, I'm running short on time today, so thanks for attending my TEDtalk.

[ebonysplendor]

Perfect Love Review 💖

TL;DR: Yeah, Milo is toxic and all, but growing up is realizing that, maybe I'M the problem. Maturing is realizing that it's not even a damn maybe; we're deadass the problem this time.

Game Link: https://c4game.itch.io/perfectlove

Notable Features: Sadistic MC, Gender options, LI turned Yandere, (8) Endings Tracker, Self-Insert Spiciness: 0/5 -- As far as I know, there's no spicy scenes, but I was so shook after my first playthrough, I just ran to make a review. That said though, this game is by no means wholesome LI MC Red Flags: 7/5 -- Sadistic, vindictive, manipulative, drugged someone, accessory to crimes, conspiracy to crimes, gaslighter, blackmailed someone, emotionally/mentally abusive, just..a lot of shit (and you thought Castiel was toxic)

Wanna know more? Well, let's get into it!

Fair warning, there may be way more grammar errors than normal because when I tell you that I played the first ending and ran to make a review, I mean that quite literally. That being exposed, just bear with me because this had very little proof reading because I was way too excited to tell you all about this game (without spoiling too much, of course) lol

What's up! Welcome back to another review!

Two things to start this off:

1. I know I already posted another review today, but I couldn't not write a review about this game and tell as many people that would listen to play it as soon as they could! 2. No, my friends, that was not a typo. It's not the LI we need to be concerned about; it's the MC. Yes, we're the problem this time around, and holy shit, please allow me to tell you about it! Or at least some of it, because I don't want to spoil too much.

As angry as this game made me, and as open and as wide as my mouth was during pretty much the entirety of this game, this has been the best damn visual novel I have come across to date! Yes, you read that correctly, and I will double down on it without hesitation; this is the best visual novel that I have ran across! Bitch, I would've paid money for this visual novel it was so good, and y'all know that I'm a cheap bitch! This was a $12.00 game (no, I still ain't over that! lol)! I would've gladly dropped that amount of money on this!

And I really hope I'm not exaggerating or overhyping it either, because I don't know which visual novels you guys have or haven't played, so let me clarify: For me, this is 1000/10 the best visual novel that I have read up to date. The pacing, the art style, the story its damn self, the fact that we're the problem this time around! Like, ugh, I could go on and on and on and on and on some more about this masterpiece of a game. I'm dead serious. I really believe that I could do an improvised one hour powerpoint presentation with absolutely zero prep time on how much of a chokehold this game has me in and STILL need an extra 30 minutes to an hour to really get my damned point across. It is that real for me. It is that serious.

All right, all right, all right, I'm gonna stop myself here because if I keep gushing, the intro is going to get way too long. That being said, it is officially time for me to write the synopsis. More than ever, I really mean this when I say, I'm going to tell you as much as possible without spoiling the game itself, and gods damn it, is it going to be difficult because, holy shit, the stuff that goes down?! I really want to tell you about it but fuck, if I do, then you might not play it yourself, and I can tell you right now, you have got to play this for yourself, and I highly recommend this game! Y'all are seriously missing out if you don't!

Okay, okay, I'm shutting up, because the intro's for real, for real getting too long and really redundant. Like, we get it, you love the game, start summarizing the damn thing! No worries, I hear y'all, and that's exactly what I'm about to do. Just a heads up, you're gonna need to buckle up for this one. Like, no, deadass. Buckle the hell up. I don't know what the hell kind of ride I'm about to take you guys on, but it's a damned wild one.

All right. Enough intro, enough talking. Let's finally get into it.

So, boom, and gods damn it, I mean, BOOM.

The game starts off with a little introducty-duction about how fucked up we are as a person. I'm not kidding about that. Basically, you know how we play these "dark romance" visual novels because the idea of someone being so unhealthily obsessed with you to the point of literally driving them bat shit crazy is something that just excites us for whatever reason? Yeah, we're like that in this game, except, we're literally delusional. Not the "quirky", cringey "aha, I'm so crazy~!", not delulu, like full on, needs to be admitted into the psychiatric floor of the hospital, delusional.

Anyways, we aspire to experience and permanently have that specific type of psycho crazy love, and damn it, we're going to have it, even if we have to go past just manifesting it and instead creating it ourselves, and I mean that quite literally. Let me explain.

See, at this point, there have been many failed attempts at getting this form of toxic love that we're after. At first, (or at least it's implied that) we tried to find it naturally, but it wasn't working out because, quite simply, it was never enough. I mean, sure, they cared about us, and sure, they would fight for us. Hell, they would easily do things for us if we asked, but they would always fall short because they wouldn't be willing to do anything and everything for us, let alone without us just being straight up about it and asking them to do so, and that, my friends, did not and will not fly.

Because we were tired of the constant failures and the constant disappointment, we decided to get on our boss shit and solve our problem instead of complaining about it. How do we solve it? By simply creating the love that we're after, and the first -- and most critical -- part of creating that love, is to find the right type of person. Someone who was a loner and an outcast. Someone that people ignored without so much as a second glance. Someone who allowed people to walk all over them and treat them any kind of way because they had no sense of self-worth. Someone desperate for affection, touch-starved even. Someone like...that new kid who recently transferred.

Milo Change. The perfect sap.

So, for totally non-selfish reasons, we play hero, and we step in to save the day. The bully -- his name's Ryan, by the by -- pretty much hightails it out of there once we intervene, and we're left with our suitor, and a suitor he'd better damn be because we didn't save his ass for nothing.

Milo gets off the ground, and he stumbles into us because he had gotten beat down pretty bad. True to expected nature, he apologizes, and starts rambling on about his friends for a little. He basically explains that, even though he knows that the people that he hangs around are really shitty, being new and not being used to the area makes him anxious to the point where he prefers their company over having no one and being alone. How coincidentally in perfect character he is...this is the one. Time to turn on the rizz.

When he asked why we jumped to his defense, we hit him with the ultimate "I was worried about you". This man's heart immediately gets to fluttering, and he's just making this too easy. It gets to a point where we make this "arrangement", so to speak. In exchange for giving him pointers on how to start standing up for himself, he has to date us. Of course, he jumps on this offer, because aside from him being the very type of spineless dweeb guy we're looking for, we knew that he had a serious crush on us. We know this because we had noticed that in passing and in the classes that we had together that he was always sneaking glances at us, so why not exploit that shoot our shot?

Anyways, we flawlessly sink the shot, and we get our date established. When we meet up, we decide to go to the batting cages, but it throws Milo off because they aren't the kind of batting cages that he was thinking of. Actually, quite frankly, it isn't really a batting cage but instead this really creepy room that has bats and is filled with mannequins.

Naturally, Milo starts asking questions, because now he's pretty uncomfortable with this whole thing, and it only gets worse when he sees us haul off and take a pretty ruthless swing at one of the dummies with a bat. At this point, Milo is holding one of the bats in his hands, and he's like "Nah, nah, I'm not into violence. Like, this is wild", but we reassure him that this isn't so much a reflection of character but a perfectly healthy way to get his anger out. He's still a little hesitant so we start planting thoughts giving him things to consider, and we're just like:

"Dude, are you not angry about the way that your so called 'friends' treated you? Did you actually like that they would use and abuse you when all you did was try to be nice? You did nothing wrong, and yet, they found it amusing to see you in pain. Do you really think you deserved to be treated like that...?" In short, we're just like "Getting your ass beat for the sake of friendship? Couldn't be me".

Milo stops for a second and really considered our words. After he really thought about it, he realized that he was and still is pissed about everything, and he goes in.

Like, really goes in to the point that the bat shattered and his hands started bleeding.

This scares the crap out of him because he didn't realize how much anger he had been holding in, but we find his performance desirable, not to mention severely attractive. Insert the Kronk meme because, my bois, it's all coming together.

We see the potential in Milo, and we're more than happy to help him reach that potential that we know he's capable of achieving. That being said, while he's trying to process what's going on, we just reassured him that we weren't scared of him and that it probably felt really good to finally get all that anger out. The tragic part is that Milo innocently agreed that it did.

We smile about the fact that he unknowingly took the bait, and we keep reeling him in. We tell Milo that we're really happy that he was able to get that anger out, because we understood that the world could be and is super cruel. While we're on the topic of the world being a really messed up place, we just idly bring up the concern of something happening to us and whether Milo'd protect us or not. Milo is once again thrown off because, yeah, the world is cruel, but why would we even picture a scenario like that? So, we explain that it's not necessarily that we wanted to think about it, but that because there's so much violence going on in the world, it was natural to think about.

That being said, we double down and tell him that he may have to protect us one day and fight back. We already know how Milo feels about violence, so we tell him to think of it more as self-defense and not so much as an excuse to be violent towards others for the sake of being violent. It was protection, really, for both himself and the people that he loves and "Milo...you'll protect me...right?"

And, once again, very innocently, he promises us that he will.

With that declaration, he became stronger. He upgraded from mannequins to glasses, plates, and whatever else in ramshackled houses to cars in abandoned lots. He even did classes that taught him how to fight, whether for self-defense, to protect others, or to simply hurt someone. He had become a bit more brash, and the "friends" that he had before started to back off because he was so different, but that was okay; that was what was best for him, and even more importantly, that was what we wanted.

Milo clung onto us. He knew that he was the only one that we could trust because our sweet Milo deserved the world, but the world didn't deserve him. He knew this because we told him exactly that, and why would we ever lie to him? We wouldn't, and because of that, Milo believes that we're the only one that he can trust -- as it should be.

Milo was slowly, but surely, starting to learn, but despite this improvement and despite this change...

...It still wasn't enough. Just the same as before.

Nah, nah, nah, I'm not telling you anymore, because it was hard enough withholding some of the details here. Know this though: this isn't even the halfway point let alone the thick of it, and this is one route out of eight that I just described to you. Yes, it gets damned wild, way beyond this.

FRICKIN FINALLY. I was about to explode trying to get to this part!

Guys, if it was not obvious, you guys have got to play this game! Like, I usually be like "Oh, if you want, and you have the time and feel like it, play this game" but nah, nah, nah, nah, NAH. This is not optional. You will seriously be missing out if you do not play this visual novel. Now admittedly, I got pissed at the MC because, shit, like, there's an option for self-insert, but I was so far detached from this character because this bitch is -- and Markiplier said it best -- fucking psycho crazy bonkers! Like, I saw certain stuff coming, but it's like, when it happened, it would be 10x worse than I thought it'd be.

Like, you honestly have no idea. The lil' synopsis I gave you at the top isn't even really a synopsis; more accurately, it's a teaser, because what I told you didn't even scratch the surface of what is going on. Guys, gals, gays, theys, all of y'all...please...I beg...play this damn game. Like holy shit, I cannot push this game enough. Like, yeah, sure, just to provide criticism or whatever, certain things or scenes are worded really "Ooh, I'm edgy and fucked up", and (unless I just read it weird) I think there were a few coding errors for nicknames and some super minor grammar errors, but like honestly, it doesn't even matter. I honestly couldn't give a damn because shit, the game is damned good! Like, there honestly isn't anything significant to complain about or critique. The dev? C4Games? They are out here, and they are setting the bar damned high.

Like, oh my gods, the fucking concept had me tripping out! Like, the whole "sadistic MC" or "The MC is crazy, too" trope isn't unheard of but, as far as I know, the execution itself is original, and I'm super geeked about it! A sadistic and twisted MC who is literally corrupting and molding an innocent guy to be the yandere that she craves. Like...what the hell? Ahhh!! I love it! Like, I literally cannot hold in the amount of gushing that I'm doing, and you can tell when I'm gushing because every other sentence will be "like, like, and like, like, like, and oh my gods, holy shit, like, like, like". Like lmao, I am gushing. I am ruined.

At this point, I feel that no other game will top this game. If I was making a tier list of the visual novels I have been reviewing, this is by far, no debate, an S Tier, God Tier, "whatever your highest tier would be" game. This visual novel is good, and I cannot wait to play the other seven routes, and guess what? The best part of all of this is that it's released! This is the entire game, and you can bet your ass that I'm going to be playing every route MUTLIPLE times!

Okay, I feel like the review and this overall post is long enough, and I want to stop myself from rambling and gushing anymore than I already have. That being said, that is officially all from me, and everyone's homework-- actually, nah. Everyone's project -- and it's going to be worth 100% of your grade -- is to play this damned game. EXPIDITIOUSLY. This is a requirement. This is an order.

Side note, I'm back on my sims kick, and I'm half tempted to make a family of the Milos I unlock because apparently -- pay attention! This is about to be a "pro, not really pro, but super helpful" tip! -- Milo's appearance and personality changes based on how you choose to mold him. Interesting, right? So, considering that there's 8 endings, I'm thinking there's 8 Milos, so...that's a full household in the Sims. Lol I might do it. I think I am.

Lol all right, enough rambling, I'm outta here for realsies! I hope everyone enjoys whatever time zone they're in, and, in case it wasn't clear or you missed it, play this damned game!

Anywho! Huge reminder! Drink water, don’t be dumb, play this game, and hope to see you around~!

Perfect Love

[fuckyeahdindjarin]

Fuck Yeah 1st birthday fic vote

I survived one year on this hellsite! 😉 It's been a wonderful almost 365 days in our little Pedro fandom - March 19 was the day I posted It Would Be, and what a ride it’s been since! Thank you friends, mutuals, readers, followers and everyone who makes it so much fun to create and to share with you guys ❤️

How about a ✨ fic vote ✨ to celebrate? It's been a while since we had one, and I've been very mean and teasing y'all with so many plot bunnies. Help me decide what to write next!

Since I have no plans to start a new series after I finish Palomino, these are all one- or two-shot ideas. I hope to get round to writing all of them at some point, but I will write them in the order of votes received. Fic summaries below the cut!

Young!Joel Miller x Baker!F!Reader | outbreak, what outbreak? | fluffy meet cute with a smutty second part | planned two-shot

Summary: What if Joel doesn't forget to buy himself a cake for his birthday? But by the time he remembers, all the bakeries in his neighbourhood are closed - except yours.

The first draft of this idea was Speed Dial, which was supposed to be a PWP, but as it turns out, I'm not great at PWPs... so how about a two-shot instead?

Javier Peña x Centra Spike Analyst F!Reader | accidental audio voyeurism | one-shot, might be more | sexual tension galore

Summary: It’s New Year’s Eve. You’re alone and transcribing a tape recording of an informant for Javier Peña, something you've done a hundred times before - except this time, you overhear something that is clearly not meant for your ears.

I've been stewing in this idea since before New Year's. Probably the most creative idea I've had so far, and will probably be difficult to write, but this fic haunts my dreams and I will have no peace until I sit down and write it.

Agent Whiskey x F!Reader | straight-up filth | planned two-shot

Summary: He's absolutely not your type. But hey, what happens in Glastonbury stays in Glastonbury - especially mistakes in the shape of a silver-tongued, smarmy American cowboy sporting a ridiculous belt buckle.

After going to a music festival last weekend, this is all I've been thinking about.

Joel Miller x F!Reader | self-conscious!Joel and shy!Reader | 👏🏻 body positivity 👏🏾 | planned one- or two-shot with potential to be more

Summary: Joel has a problem. Having settled into some semblance of a 'normal' life in Jackson that no longer involves running for his life and living off scraps, his clothes are getting a little… tight. Self-conscious, he deals with it the way he does most things - he ignores it.

That is until one day, the zipper on his jeans finally gives up after one too many desperate tugs, leaving him stuck. With neither Tommy nor Ellie anywhere to be found to get him out of the tight spot, Joel begrudgingly heads to the clothing store he’s seen in town for help - and a new pair of jeans.

There, he meets you.

Thank you everyone who has been so enthusiastic about this idea! It definitely has Grays vibes, but can you blame me for wanting to give this man reassurance? I’m also super excited to write a shy reader, which is a departure from my others ❤️

Frankie Morales x F!Reader | enemies to lovers | second chances | angst | planned two-shot

Summary: At the Summer House where you and the boys have always spent the last week of August, some traditions are held sacred. Above all, Frankie always brings a girlfriend, and you're always single.

You really should’ve known better than to tempt fate. The summer Frankie shows up alone and you bring a boyfriend is when it all falls apart. 

I am beyond excited about this one. I've teased the idea before - it's going to be so self-indulgent and will have all the tropes that I've wanted to write for. It's been a while since I've written angst, and damn this will be angsty!

Got any burning questions? My askbox is open as always! I'll leave this poll up for a week, excited to see what the results will be ❤️

[rubenesque-as-fuck]

Bluhhhh, went on a spur of the moment karaoke date tonight with someone I started chatting with on Bumble earlier today. He mentioned he was going to karaoke and said to feel free to join so I thought, "Fuck it" and went. The heat was so miserable in my apartment that is was a relief to have an excuse to drive with the AC on anyway.

Got to the venue and he was cute enough, a little bit goofy. Was feeling ambivalent but not negative about the vibe. We both eventually sang one song each and then decided to head out. He said he didn't have a car and that it was a 20-30 minute walk, so I offered him a ride.

We parked in his neighborhood and chatted in the car for a bit. Then he asked if I wanted to make out. I agreed. Sure, why not. It's my birthday weekend (not that I had mentioned this fact to him), I deserve a lil smoochin', right?? And y'all.

It. Was. Terrible 😒😦😫

Just. Okay. First off, I'll fully admit that my car is not ideal for making out in. It's small and boxy and the front seats are far apart. So that's already a bad start. But the car wasn't the real problem.

It was the tongue. The TONGUE. Storming into my whole mouth like an angrily invading slug almost immediately. No subtlety whatsogoddamnever. After a minute I literally had to just push him back and say, "Too much tongue there, bud." Because I couldn't stand it any more. He eased up a bit, but it was still... not great overall. Thankfully he at least knew better than to start honking on my tits immediately 😂

After a little while he asked if we could move to the backseat, which I told him was a terrible idea because it was currently covered in a big doghair cover with a bunch of straps and buckles. And also because I didn't want to get too wrapped up in anything too quickly- which was true, but also just wasn't feeling super confident in any other techniques he may have had if his kissing habits were any indication. Also also, I'm not fucking 19 any more and I don't want to make out in the backseat of a car on some dark street where cars keep driving past? I pay rent so I can make out and get freaky indoors?

Anyway, me saying I didn't want to do anything in the backseat broke the spell and he decided to head out. Not sure if he truly thought he was gonna get hot backseat action or what. We'll see if I hear from him again. I'm kinda not sure if I want to 🤔 my whole car smells like bad cologne now, too.

Didn't help that I kept thinking about how I'd still rather be kissing D instead. Which, yes, I'm aware is dumb. It constantly begs the question "Did I not like this person because they aren't for me, or just because they aren't him?"

[lorna-d-m]

Lights Out: Chapter Seven

Summary: Roxanne, recently graduated and unemployed, gets a call from her childhood friend and hero: her cousin James hunt. In need of a social media manager after one too many scandals, he can think of no one better than Roxanne for the position. Excited about a fun job and getting to know more about her cousin, she jumps at the chance. However, amongst all the bright lights of both the circuit and the media, Roxanne falls in love with his rival: Niki Lauda.

Pairing: Niki Lauda (Rush 2013) x fem!OC Roxanne Hunt

Word Count: 4,472

CW: language, alcohol, explicit sexual content (fingering and vaginal sex)

A/N: If y'all hadn't figured out this is going to be a longer fic so buckle up. I'm moving into my dorm on Friday so I'll be getting busy soon as classes start, but I am fully dedicated to this story. As always, any mistakes are my own, check out the race reports, and let me know if you want to be added to the taglist! Also I keep diverging a bit from my original plans for a chapter, not majorly, but enough to disregard the outline sometimes

Previous chapter

July 2020

With half the season completed, Roxanne felt the tensions of her position more acutely. She loved her job- nothing gave her more joy than seeing people react to the latest video or interacting with James’s fans- but her personal connections conflicted. James did not do well in either Belgium or Sweden. Transmission issues and brake problems forced him to retire early in both races. His earlier podium was all but forgotten in a seemingly endless string of disappointments. Hell, he hadn’t finished a race since Brazil in April.

Unsurprisingly, his mood took a turn for the worse. James’s ever-present optimism faded as each race week saw him further and further back in the championship. He hid it well by smiling and being as affable as expected, but he leaned heavily upon his vices: Drinking, partying, sleeping around, and smoking when his trainer wasn’t around. Roxanne tried to help him the best she could, but at the end of the day, she couldn’t solve his problems. All she could do was make him laugh now and again and listen to him when he needed someone to talk to.

Niki, by contrast, did exceptionally well. Monaco saw him take third in the championship, Belgium leapfrogged him into first, and Sweden further secured his lead. Finally, all the hard work by himself and the team started to pay off. He didn’t want to get his hopes up, but Niki kept his eye on the championship and knew he could win. Zandvoort would be a possibility to strengthen himself and Ferrari in the points.

Additionally, when Roxanne asked Niki why he seemed to smile more he admitted “I have a huge point lead in the championship and I’m seeing a wonderful woman. What more could I ask for?”. Balancing his work life and his personal life was a monumental task, but Roxanne understood. As much focus, effort, and energy Niki poured into a race week, she put the same into her work. They quickly settled into a pattern of seeing each other before or after the race- going out on dates or being together in someone’s hotel room-, and having little contact at the circuit itself. Sure they saw each other there, James and Niki were friends so they were often nearby, but they played it cool.

Roxanne thought of telling James about her and Niki just so she could have a friend and confidant, but she chickened out every time. What if it angered James? What if he made them break up? Or what if it broke some stupid rule since they were on different teams? Or what if they broke up; would it strain James and Niki’s friendship? Roxanne decided it was better to keep it to herself for the time being. Besides, they’d only been together for a few months now. That hardly justified opening a new can of worms and potentially ruining everything.

Zandvoort Circuit, Netherlands

Thursday, July 2nd. 2020

Every morning Niki waited for Roxanne's good morning text. During race week it was one of the few times he would hear from her as they were both caught up in their activities and exhausted in the evening. He could also count on a goodnight text from her, usually accompanied by a snoring emoji as she teased him endlessly.

Schatz: Good morning!☀️ Are you worried about the curse? 🎥🏎 😱

Niki: Good morning, Schatz. If you think I’m afraid the Netflix doc crew will somehow fuck up my weekend, think again, my dear.

It became a joke amongst the paddock that if the film crew followed a team or a driver for the week then they were guaranteed to fuck up. They never knew how or why, but once the camera focused on them everything went awry. Last season when the documentary filmed the Ferrari episode they caught Niki crashing in Germany after attempting to pass Scheckter on the first lap. Netflix had plenty of footage alright, by the time they included the crash, the safety car, pulling his car out of the wall, the replays, and the reaction, Niki figured they could make a whole damn episode out of it.

Schatz: You say that now…

Schatz: I hope they don’t, but if they do, can I say I told you so?

He snorted. Of course, she would ask that. Roxanne loved to get the upper hand on him when she could, and truthfully he didn’t mind.

Niki: Naturally, and if my weekend goes well then I’ll get to say I told you so.

On his morning track walk, Niki thought about the last time he was at the circuit. He started from pole and won, and he hoped to do so again. The first corner, a wicked hairpin coming off the starting straight, provided easy overtaking on both the outside and the inside, so Niki would need to be on the defense if he started from pole again. He also paid close attention to the penultimate and final turns, knowing the drivers would back up traffic on the warm-up lap before launching into a flying lap. As much as it pissed him off every time, he understood.

“Niki, are you hoping for a repeat performance of last year?” All morning the Netflix crew followed him around, sat in for meetings, and occasionally asked questions. It was all part of the job, he reminded himself. Sometimes he pretended they weren’t there as he worked so he could concentrate, and other times he pandered to them.

“Another twenty-five points would certainly be nice, but I don’t put any more pressure on this race just because I’ve done well here before. Every race is an opportunity to score points, and putting more stress on one race than another is a very slippery slope.”

***

“Let’s start with our championship leader. Niki, how do you feel going into this race? This must be an important one for you and your winning streak.”

Niki sat next to Scheckter as they did their Thursday press conferences. His legs were spread out in the chair, and his foot slowly tapped on the floor.

“Well, I’m bored of answering that, for certain.” His trademark bluntness either earned laughs or stares. On this occasion, it earned some scattered snickers from across the room. “Otherwise, I feel good, the car feels good, and we’ll see how we do on track here this weekend.”

***

Niki: So far the only curse is the endless attention. Otherwise, I think I’d come visit you. Goodnight Schatz.

Roxanne: What a shame. If only someone had said there was a curse 😉… Goodnight Niki 😴💤

Friday, July 3rd. 2020

After hastily snubbing out his cigarette, James walked back into the garage and got ready for practice. He dumped everything still in his pockets into Roxanne’s lap and put on his gear. Roxanne watched, knowing he needed a good weekend to lift his spirits, and hoped this would be it. He put together a few laps before reporting mechanical issues on the team radio. Frustrated, James pulled back into the pits.

He crossed his arms and stood next to her as he watched the team work and the time tick down.

“At least it happened now rather than in the race.” Roxanne was always unsure what to say when he had mechanical issues. She improved her knowledge about cars, but she didn’t know jack shit about how to fix it compared to his technicians and mechanics.

“I wish this shit didn’t happen at all. I can’t race if I don’t have a car that can fucking drive.”

“You’re a great driver, James. When you get your car straightened out they’ll see that. Shit, I mean they saw that in Argentina, remember?”

“I remember, and you remember,” he pointed at her, “but no one else does. They have short memories, and with King Rat” James mimicking Niki’s bite “set to get his fourth win in a row, I'm no one.”

“Don’t say that.” Roxanne wanted to tell him to knock off the mocking while she was at it, but she knew it wasn’t what he wanted or needed to hear at the moment. “You’re James fucking Hunt. Formula 1 driver, six-time podium finisher, and an amazing goddamn racer. Your time is coming.”

He regarded her with surprise, smiling honestly for the first time that day. “You’re right, I’m James fucking Hunt, an amazing fucking driver, and my time is coming.”

Saturday, July 4th, 2020

Niki: Good morning Schatz. So did James give you the day off or is another American Revolution coming?

Schatz: Ha ha Niki. 😐You know I was still raised by Brits, right? So celebrating wasn’t really the norm?

Niki: I know, but I couldn’t resist. 😉

He felt ready for qualifying. The practice sessions went great for Niki: he and Clay dominated the three sessions, finding those milliseconds they needed and testing the limits of the track. There was always a way to improve, and he was eager to find it on the track.

Q1 and Q2 passed without issue. Niki had the second and the third fastest times, but he wasn’t concerned. It was certainly enough to see him into the next section, and enough to keep him from being bumped. He laid out a good lap at the beginning of Q3 and went back to the pits to wait. In the last two minutes or so Niki would bite the bullet and leave the pits for his warm-up lap.

Clay left the garage first, and Niki followed. They went down the pit straight, and James came up behind Niki. In his mirrors, he could see Hunt’s Hesketh hungry for a chance to prove itself. Niki tore his eyes away from James behind him and focused on the track ahead of him. The tyres were his main worry in the warm-up lap; he worked to warm them up for more grip before going for a fast lap.

The first and the third turns were the sharpest, and he followed the racing line to hit the apex just as he needed to. He made sure to protect his tyres at the beginning of the lap so they’d maintain their grip throughout the stint. Niki completed the rest of the lap, going slightly wider than he wanted at one point, but reminding himself that the perfect lap doesn’t exist. It is strived for.

“That is P1, Niki, P1”

“And what was Clay’s time?”

“Clay is P2, and James Hunt is P3.”

P3? James did look hungry. He must have put together quite the lap.

***

Roxanne cheered with the rest of the garage. She had never seen James so determined or focused before he got in the car, and it paid off. He was P3, right behind the Ferraris, and ahead of Jody Scheckter.

“Open the channel, I want to talk to him!” Her headset came with a microphone, but she never used it until now. “That’s P bloody Three, James! P3!” Unintelligible yelling blasted into her ear, but Roxanne knew he was thrilled beyond belief. “I’m so proud of you!”

Sunday, July 5th. 2020

The booming thunder woke Niki before his alarm could take the chance. He groaned into the pillow cursing the rain and the loss of valuable sleep. After coming to terms with the fact that he wouldn’t fall back asleep and it was indeed storming, Niki grabbed his phone to check the radar. Dark, heavy storm clouds covered the entire area, guaranteeing a wet start to the race.

Niki: Good morning Schatz. Don’t forget your umbrella today. ☔

Another clap of thunder shook the window frame and a flash of lightning lit up the room.

Niki: And your boots, coat, and a prayer that this lightens. 😐

***

All the drivers, all the mechanics, all the teams, and all the fans were waiting. Ominous storm clouds hovered overhead, and the steady rain continued. Most of the thunder and lightning stopped, so the teams pressured the race controllers to let them start. They bickered back and forth, which allowed the foreboding clouds to move.

“And it looks like the drivers will be going for their formation lap minutes from now.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised to see some wet tyres out there, or even some intermediates as the conditions have changed slightly.”

“Well, with the wet conditions the drivers have free choice for what they want to start on.” The camera settled on the bright red Ferraris at the front of the grid, waiting for the formation lap. “It seems like Niki Lauda and Clay Regazzoni have chosen to go on intermediates as they suspect the track is still a bit wet.”

“It’s really a gamble out there right now. After the formation lap, the drivers can choose to pit for different tyres if they choose, but they must make that decision themselves, and they will start from that position.”

“I think we could see some of the drivers changing as they feel out the track. I just know this will be an interesting start for the race.”

Roxanne brimmed with anxiety. The start of a race was enough to make her feet tap nervously and her chest tighten with fear, but a wet start amplified that. A wet start meant they could easily fuck up their start, lock up on the turn, lose grip, and slide, and with all the drivers bunched together as they tore into the first turn, the potential for calamity was much higher. True, the conditions were much improved by the delay, but that did little to assuage her worries.

Niki led well off the line, but further back in the field two drivers collided with each other after a horrible start. James, meanwhile, decided to switch tyres soon after the start. This cause a panicked flurry in the Hesketh garage to get everything ready for their incoming driver. He wanted slick tyres now that the track dried up, and they executed the stop flawlessly. Storming out of the pit, he hungered to take back his position.

Fifteen laps into the race, James Hunt took the lead from Niki Lauda. Roxanne knew Niki fucked up with the intermediate tyres, and she knew James made a good call to switch, but seeing James overtake Niki ripped her apart.

The team cheered, eyes wide, yelling and screaming, jumping up and down, shaking each other, and Roxanne couldn’t hide her shocked expression. She lucked out that shock was an acceptable reaction at the moment. Roxanne wanted to throw up as the tension inside boiled over. The cousin, best friend, and employee of James Hunt rejoiced. He went through so much and so desperately wanted to prove himself. The girlfriend and lover of Niki Lauda wanted to cry. He worked so hard to earn his place in the championship.

Niki pitted soon after that for hard, slick tyres. Hunting for Hunt was his only option. The Ferrari had the pace to charge the field and Niki had the skill to overtake while avoiding a collision. Seeing Niki weave his way through the competition was a sight to see. Recently, he took pole position and led the race in a straightforward manner. Now, he attacked with all the elegance of a fencer. Precise, calculated, and quick.

For the last twenty laps of the race, Niki rode James’s ass. The Ferrari had more speed on the slow corners and overtook James, but once they reached a straight or a fast corner James retook the position. Back and forth, back and forth, Niki pulled ahead for James to slide ahead of him on the next turn. On the final lap, James crossed the finish line a full second ahead of Niki. \

***

After the champagne bottles, victory wreaths, hundreds of pictures, and dozens of autographs, Clay, Niki, and James sat down for the post-race press conference. They sat as they stood on the podium: James in the center with Niki on his right and Clay on his left. The clicking of cameras and the buzzing of activity filled the room. Niki scanned the crowd, searching for Roxanne, and found her standing off to the side. He smiled without thinking, just glad to have spotted her.

“Niki, second. That was awfully close for quite a number of laps. Did you think you were ever going to get past James there?”

He looked away from Roxanne and turned back to the interviewer. “Of course, with that many laps left and with the Ferrari car I was certain I could get past James here,” Niki casually gestured to James, “but he never cracked under the pressure. Obviously, he had more speed on the straights and the high-speed corners, but I nearly had him on the slower corners.”

“Nearly?” James chuckled. “I thought you had me once there on turn seven when you edged ahead of me.”

Niki grinned ruefully. “Not quite enough it would seem.”

“And James Hunt, race winner at last. What does it feel like?”

“What a moment! I thought this guy here would take it from me a few times,” now it was James’s time to motion to Niki. “We’ve had a shitty season so far, so taking the win today feels very good.”

“So tonight? It’s going to be a big night for you. Can we count on a classic James Hunt celebration, or have things changed?”

The whole room laughed at that, none more so than perhaps James. “Clearly some things and situations have changed,” with his allusion to Roxanne’s management, Niki couldn’t help but steal another glance at her. She stood near the wall, arms crossed in front of her uniformed shirt, and smirking. “But, I think some celebrations are in order.”

***

Celebrations would prove to be an understatement in Roxanne’s mind. James planned a huge night out for a bunch of the drivers and anyone they wanted at this club he loved nearby. He practically begged her to go party with them since she was so crucial for his victory.

“Please, if you hadn’t told me to buck up on Friday I never would have made this weekend mine.”

She couldn’t ignore the pleading glimmer in his eyes or the sincerity of his tone, so after sweating it out in the garage all afternoon Roxanne dolled herself up. A blue dress, one that complimented her eyes and received compliments every time she wore it, sat in her suitcase that might suit the occasion. Her sweat-drenched hair was easily tamed into a new style, up and away from her face, and after digging through her makeup bag and accessories she decided she was ready for the night.

Having never been to a Formula 1 drivers’ party she didn’t know what to expect, but she could count on one thing. They would spend obscene amounts of money. Many of them arrived in whatever fancy cars that drove that weekend, filling up the valet parking with their Aston Martins, McLarens, and most notably to her, their Ferraris. Inside the bright lights and erratic music, James arranged for a sectioned area and bottle service.

“Oh so you can party, but you have to bring your babysitter!” Jody Scheckter easily found James and teased him.

“Baby sitter?” James scoffed. “Just you wait, she’s a bigger partier than you and me combined!” He cast a teasing glance at Roxanne, knowing she preferred an evening alone but only came for him.

“Really?” Jody looked Roxanne and her blue dress up and down. “Then how about a dance, huh?”

“Oh,” her lips pinched together. “I have a boyfriend.” She worried that it sounded harsh, so she added, “thank you though.” James gave her a look as if to say “so your friend graduated to boyfriend?”

“You’re not trying to get with James here, are you? Because that whole assistant crushing on the boss thing is played out.”

Roxanne appeared mortified while James roared with laughter again. “Have you already had enough to drink, Jody, or not enough? Because that’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve said yet.”

***

Niki sat in the roped-off area with some of the guys with a glass of champagne in hand. He thought about asking Roxanne, who was at the bar ordering some overcomplicated fruity drink no doubt, to dance with him. It was a busy and crowded club, so as long as they moved out of view from Hunt, Scheckter, Andretti, and the rest of them it should be alright.

James had some lucky girl he picked up for the night sitting across his lap, and turned away from her chest pressed close to his face to talk to Niki.

“What ever happened to you and Marlene?” Marlene? Niki hadn’t thought of her in months. “I feel like I haven’t seen her at the track at all this year.”

Niki opened his mouth in shock. “And what happened to you and Suzy? I haven’t seen the two of you together since Argentina.”

“She’s focusing on her work, and I’m focusing on mine,” James answered. At that moment he was focusing on the way the woman on his lap wiggled.

Niki sighed. “We broke up shortly before the winter break. She said I was too much of an asshole while racing, and I said I wouldn’t stop, so here I am.” Niki’s life depended on racing, and if his girlfriend couldn’t be supportive then he didn’t need one.

James scoffed. “You, an asshole? Unbelievable.” Niki rolled his eyes and flipped James off before taking another sip of his drink. “Ah well.” James raised his cup to meet Niki’s. “Someday you’ll find someone who can overlook your rat teeth, blunt attitude, and general asshole-ness.”

That’s the problem, he thought. I found someone. Roxanne stood by the bar, ridiculous pink drink in hand, surveying the scene. Niki couldn’t take his eyes off her and the way the blue dress hugged her figure, showcasing every asset she possessed. He wanted to run his hands along the smooth fabric, dip his fingers under the blue satin, and hold her close. Niki shifted in his seat when his pants grew tighter.

***

Roxanne swayed to the music, singing along to one of her favorite songs. Who could resist ABBA? She spotted Niki across the dance floor, his eyes glowing in the dark, and winked at him. He worked his way across the room, passing dancing and grinding couples until he reached her. Niki cast one more glance over his shoulder at James before embracing her. Emboldened by the song and his hold on her waist, Roxanne danced against him.

Voulez Vous, aha. Take it now or leave it. Now is all we get. Nothing promised, no regrets.

That was the question on the tip of her tongue. She felt his excitement pressed against her thigh, and asked him. “Do you want?”

God did he want to. Niki pulled her away from the dance floor, one hand still gripping her waist tight making her grin. He found the swanky club bathroom decked out with mirrors and gold finishing, and his lips found hers. Sloppy and messy, her bright pink lipstick smeared onto his mouth and he could taste the strawberry and rum from her drink.

Roxanne let out a squeak when he suddenly gripped the back of her thighs and lifted her onto the counter, her back to the mirror. Her legs wrapped around his hips, pulling him closer and grinding at him over his slacks. One of his hands slid up her thigh and traced the edge of her black lace thong before moving it aside.

“God, I missed you, baby,” she rasped. With his unoccupied hand, he pushed the flimsy straps of her dress off her shoulder, tearing one with the force of his hand. The top of her dress slipped down, exposing the fact that she hadn’t worn a strapless bra that night, only pasties to cover her nipples.

Niki didn’t say anything, but he let his mouth do the talking. Each kiss, lick, and nibble told her that he missed her too. His hand between her thighs warmed and slicked her up, and when his thumb grazed her clit she tipped her head back and moaned. He smirked against her neck. She unbuckled his pants and pushed them down a bit, exposing his hardening dick. Roxanne wrapped her fingers around him, giving him a quick stroke that made him groan in pleasure.

Her free hand found his cheek and ran her fingers along his jaw, appreciating his offset bite when he tried to focus. He brought her close to the peak of pleasure, feeling her squirm under him every time he brushed that spot and decided she was ready. Niki pushed himself in quickly and deeply, needing to feel completely enveloped by her touch. Feeling so pent up from his fingers, it didn’t take long for her to adjust and only seconds later he started rocking into her.

The bass from the music vibrated the walls, and their combined moans and slapping of skin filled the room. Her thong was still pushed to the side as he hadn’t taken the time or hassle to remove it. She pulled him closer, needing to feel him against her, and he snaked his hand between them to find her clit.

Having had her climax denied earlier, she quickly found herself at the edge again. Roxanne gripped his shoulders and clenched tight around him. She saw stars when she came, and he kept thrusting into her, searching for his high now that he made her come. Sweat dripped from his forehead and their skin stuck together, but neither one minded. After a few more deep pumps into her, Niki grunted hard and let out a long exhale. She stroked his hair, calming him down from the passionate moment.

When he caught his breath he slowly pulled out of her and tucked himself back into his boxers. She examined the broken dress strap and realized she had no way to fix it there.

“Sorry. I can buy you a new dress if you want,” he offered upon seeing her frown.

“Oh, Niki that’s not it. I was thinking about how I’ll have to hold the top up as I slip out of here.”

“Slip out of here? I thought you would want to stay a bit longer.”

She laughed at the thought. “Sure, with my dress strap broken, my lipstick smeared to hell, and your cum dripping out of me, yes I wanted to stay.”

“Ah.” Niki hadn’t realized how much of a mess he made of her when he thought she still looked so beautiful. “I can take you back to the hotel,” he offered.

Roxanne looked at him hopefully. “Will you spend the night?”

“All you had to do was ask, Schatz.” He kissed her again, relishing the hint of strawberry still on her tongue.

Next chapter

Tag list: @apparrio @scuttle-buttle @lieutenantn @fictionlandslanddreams @danielbruhlswife @livvyshmiv

[janiedean]

I feel bad for all the nice J*nsa shippers who like their ship for whatever reasons (tropes, pretty art, aesthetic appeal, whatever) and know it's not canon but get associated with the misogynistic Dany hating crowd who act like Jon being attracted to Ygritte is J*nsa foreshadowing because red hair (I guess Jon should fuck Edmure Tully too? Omg give me Dark!Jon getting revenge on Catelyn by seducing her brother!) Tell me something. I'm new to the fandom but was J*nsa popular before the show? And I've heard something about the OG J*nsa shippers being alienated by the new shippers who insisted it had to be canon and acted like the series is called, "A song of J*nsa #danysux." I don't find that hard to believe because I know people who are now ashamed of calling themselves J*nsa shippers. Like, at this point, it's not only rival shippers who hate it. Even Gendrya/Braime/Jon stans/etc have started disliking that ship. You know your fandom is a problem when people who have nothing to do with Jnsa have a problem with it.

me: reads this ask

me: iwastheregandalf.gif which I can't find now but

okay anon buckle up because I am sadly well-equipped to answer this ask but before I do lemme tell you dark jon seducing edmure to take revenge on cat is LITERALLY THE BEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD but *clears throat* ALL RIGHT THEN.

disclaimer: as anon says I have no issue with like the shippers mentioned by anon in the beginning and ngl I agree, I have ABSOLUTELY ZERO FUCKING STAKES in the j*nsa vs j*nerys war and the only het jon ship I gaf about is jon/ygritte and we all know where that ended up I just... have been here since 2011/adwd was over and all the fic around was just for the books under secret lj communities and asoiaf qualified for yuletide and I have... seen... things.... and I actually have like uh had... beef... with some people in there and I know things bc ppl who hated those others told me stuff so anyway *sigh* buckle up anon I'mma tell you the story of jon shipwars through the years

in order, the old gods help me here, under the cut bc this is long as fuck

when I got into fandom also given what numbers were on ao3 one ship was popular and it was sansan. no like sansan was lit. the only asoiaf ship on ao3 with more than 200 fics. jb had twenty when i checked first. jc had like around 100-ish because of the show but sansan dwarfed anything. I posted the first jon/ygritte fic on the ao3 tag and the fourth throbb fic and like the others were all reposts from lj kinkmemes. nothing was popular before the show except for sansan when it comes to huge numbers bc grrm doesn't like fic and it was all hush hush until the show made it impossible to control and that ship was the one with a huge enough fanbase it actually had numbers, so like... j*nsa wasn't popular in the way nothing else was popular until it got screentime on the show

now, that stated, j*nsa had a... fair amount of fic for a rareship which was mostly book-based and from og shippers that were there from before the show and liked it for what it was but literally none of them thought it was gonna be canon, like it wasn't huge or anything but it had a small but dedicated fanbase who did their own thing and thought it was fun/liked the idea but that was it

that fandom had their own niche of hcs that they cultivated and shit except that like... at the end of S5/beginning of S6 there was a surge in shipping for... well obvious reasons bc it was obv sansa was getting to the wall and that would have been all nice and good but a) it was the time puritanical shipping was starting to take root and the 'shipping sansa with sandor or tyrion is hella problematic' rhetoric had started to circle coming from sans*ery shippers mostly but I'mma not open that fucking can of worms here, b) while the ending of S5 had more of a theon/sansa spike, the j*nsa stuff started getting big

now here we have to mention my villain origin story ie: j*nsa fandom had this one stan whose name I won't make because honestly it's been years and if she's still around I don't want her to remember I exist who was a bnf, wrote for... the website that created the whole larry/carol thing etc who was really fixed on this thing that j*nsa was actually canon and started writing extremely popular meta about it. now you're gonna ask how do you know, I know because this person once wrote a meta named 'why robb stark is a dick' and I told her that it was really fucking bad meta and she took it so badly she kept on trash talking me on her blog/her podcast (I was apparently the insane robb stark fangirl l m a o good lord) and like that was when some sane ppl who argued with her informed me in pvt that she was basically harping on the CANON thing when they'd have been okay with like... it being crackshipping and that she was basically cultivating a hoarde of followers who were harping on them/the ogs and basically ostracizing them;

I would like to add that this person - before her tumblr got 'accidentally deleted' and remade it therefore deleted most receipts for, er, her so-called meta which included stuff like ned and cat raised sansa as a sexual object and only wanted to sell her like cattle - had at some point started a round robin fic thing where... some of the characters mocked openly said stuff that some of the og fans had said specifically targeting them and people in that side basically went harassing anyone who didn't agree with that specific notion

now never mind that this person basically coined an entire term to describe ppl who liked white guys and excused all their wrongdoings out of my conversation re robb basically lying about everything I said as if I didn't have the receipts and tried to sell shirts with it and it didn't work and like then she got kicked out of her own website because she was telling her commenters disagreeing pretty shitty insults (considering I was called psychotic for disagreeing with her that time I don't doubt it) I think at some point she stepped back from fandom bc idk wtf she's up to these days and I don't want to, but basically at that point the dam was broken and there was a bunch of puritanical shippers harping on anyone who didn't agree with j*nsa is canon endgame stuff

this also includes an incident when those ppl were like... passing themselves as throbb shippers and ended up trying to tell t*hramsay shippers off the theon tag based on moral reasons and I ended up arguing with all of them (and they were all from that crowd) which in turn landed me in contact with other og j*nsa shippers who were like detached from that fandom bc those same people harassed them away as well ssooooo fun

anyway when S6 happened everyone was high on it and whatnot but I wasn't gonna begrudge them that I mean... you shipped it for years, canon is delivering you, good for you, but then j*nerys happened

god j*nerys happened

aaand basically...... I mean personally I was there like are y'all seriously arguing about the best incest jon ship out there but like basically the j*nsa endgame side was like AH JON IS PLAYING DANY SEE IF IT DOESN'T HAPPEN, the j*nerys obv got defensive af and both sides were sort of alternatively shitting on jon/ygritte anyway and depicting any other romantic rship jon could have as abusive™ and during S8 it just got worse and like I tried to stay out of it but basically from what I'm seeing now idk how the j*neryses are doing but on the j*nsa one it's ah jon's gonna play dany anyway and she's going to go insane like in the show so SHOW TRUTHING EVERY OTHER WAY and like again denying that sandor exists or that tyrion exists and like I barely touch my corner (sansan) but I ended up arguing with j*nsa/th*nsa people on twitter who were antis and is2g it was white-hair inducing and I know for sure the sansa/tyrion shippers were harassed to hell and back throughout so FUN

and even if the show didn't go there now since everyone there banked on the jnsa endgame thing and admitting you're wrong is like... not a thing, they still haven't let go of it and attach to that ship any shred of evidence which honestly is grasping at straws half of the time (like... the sansa/alysanne parallels like guys please no) and which is why every other ship is starting to get fed up, attaching canon proof of stuff from other ships onto theirs see that batb argument and jb is platonic but jonsa is not nvm taking all the sansan stuff and throwing it on j*nsa but then denying that sansan has canon evidence (like guys I had to read sansa touching his shoulder when saying gregor wasn't a true knight wasn't meaningful and we were seeing things please) and blah blah blah

this also goes hand in hand with the fixation on like... villanizing dany at all costs and like is2g I have zero investment in dany or her storyline I don't even remember it and I don't particularly care abt her either way and sure af I'm not for j*nerys endgame but like.... some stuff I read is completely excessive esp when fixing on how she's a completely mad tyrant who's gonna have to be put down and like... guys no

(also there's some srs stannis hate in that corner which I honestly don't get why they even care abt stannis but I had to read stuff like ppl don't recognize that dany and stannis are the real villains in this saga and like........ idek)

I think most of the og shippers are gone or don't ship it openly bc they don't want to be attached to the drama but like I also think they're pissing off everyone else bc like... I mean a bunch of them also were down with sansa being paired with other ppl as long as it meant a good ending for her except those ppl were... like everyone but the ppl she has actual contact with in canon which meant that at some point sansa/gendry was a thing and like.... you can imagine why arya/gendry shippers & arya stans were fed up, and there's also this tendency to behave like sansa is the center of the entire saga which like these books is named a song of jon snow basically can we pls make peace with it and personally I've had it with both j*nsa and j*nerys people since they started with that dumbass JON/YGRITTE WAS AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP rhetoric but I'm also fed up with the total ignoring that sandor exists/depicting us as delusional and honestly I also was by proxy fed up from the harassing of the sansa/tyrion shippers soooooooooooo

there were also instances of 'well theon is an acceptable choice other than jon bc he can't threaten her' which... i mean we all know what that meant and I'm not even commenting it bc it's one AM and I have no force to but I don't have to explain why it's not a progressive take now do I

there were also metas about how cousin incest being legal in half of the world means that jondany is a worse incest and j*nsa doesn't count as such and I was basically there like guys please just fucking own up to it but honestly I chose to forgot where I read that and I couldn't find the link if I tried

tldr: no one wants to admit that it's not gonna be endgame which considering the amount of fic they have on ao3 is imvho useless bc they have more content than like.. anything I ship that's not jb or that's actually like canon *cries in joncon/rhaegar but I mean renly/loras is canon and has less fic than them* so idk what's the problem with enjoying that instead of insisting it's gonna be canon when not even the show validated it while show truthing anyway when the only show truthing that can be truthed is the small council made of minorities and possibly jon eventually fucking off with the wildlings but not like that but like most people who thought it wasn't gonna be endgame had left/were made to leave by the time S7 rolled by and at this point since wow isn't out yet everyone is fandom-grasping at straws to find stuff to discourse on and we're here beating dead horses *shrug*

so that's... how it is but I would again like to point out that I don't judge ppl on their shipping, I don't particularly care about this entire feud bc I only ship jon with ppl he's not related to in whichever way and I try to stay out of this mess bc I don't really care to argue with ppl who have already decided to bend canon to whatever they want and will have to realize that it's not what grrm wrote at some point but like I have a very good memory and the above rant is as objective as possible also bc again I don't literally have a stake in that race I just think romantic/endgame j*nsa is not a thing and that ppl should stay in their lane and not harping on other ppl who ship whatever in general but especially when their ship is the most popular thing in fandom in the first place /two cents

[soupncrackwrs]

Okay so I had an idea for an AFTG fic but again I’m horrible at anything that isn’t hc’s so here we are (feel free to make this into a fic if you want just credit me) *Also all pairing in this are platonic besides andreil and mattdan soo, don’t like get out*

This spawned from that fact that one of my 3 PTP’s (platonic trust pairing) in AFTG is Kev and Neil

This is probably my PTP that has the most popularity in the fandom I’d say (my other 2 are Renee/Andrew/Neil and Neil/Dan which are both *really* hard to find ((at least on ao3)) so that sucks) but you’d be surprised how little it gets like actually focused on

Most times, platonic wise, Neil gets shown bonding with The MonstersTM, Allison, or Matt

wHICH IS FINE IM TOTALLY OKAY W/ THAT

I just happen to enjoy neil/dan, kev/neil,and renee/andrew/neil more

So I wanted a fic that really showcased kev and neils relationship

BUT IM ALSO IN LOVE WITH OUSIDER POV SO THIS HAPPENED

Now onto the actual headcanon

So neil and kevin are like best friends

They've been like that for a while

but they also like fucking despise each other

like they love and care deeply for each other and would probably die for the other if the situation called for it

but will that stop them from almost killing each other 24/7?

HELL NO

so they go to college together

along with all the upperclassmen (so matt+dan+allison+renee+seth) but not the monsters

andrew and neil have been together for a bit

they met around the same time kev and neil did so they've been together for a while (also while we're talking abt relationships, i don't ship renison ((am i the only one who believes that renee is a strong aro gal who don't need no man/lady/person)) but if you wanna make this renison, go ahead)

andrew goes to a different college tho ( for some reason i dunno)

and neil doesn't really like sharing stuff abt his personal life

we all know this

but a lot of the stuff he's done in his life involves andrew

so drew is brought up a fair amount

but when the upperclassmen ask who he is neil kinda just smiles and then moves on so they ask kevin and he's like

oh andrew is like one of my bffls he's a ride or die

(obviously not phrased like that)

and the upperclassmen r like 'ok he can be trusted he's a friend'

(little do they know hehhehhe-)

sO ONE DAY

kev is tryna forget all his issues

so he decides to get hella pissed

wasted like he's never been b4

probably cause thea broke up w/ him last week but we don't talk abt that okay shhhhhhh

so he goes to the next party alli throws and

let's say it together kids

gets wasted like he's never been b4

to the point where the upperclassmen don't really know wht to do with him????

so they call up neil like yo pick up kev he's drunk off his ass like always but we think he's doing it cause he's sad this time'

so neil, being the good and sweet angel (not) that he is

goes to pick up kevin

and like he finds him on a coach almost catatonic just rambling to himself

so neil picks him up and drags him away to his car

and ofc all the upperclassmen r trying to help

so while neil is putting kevin into his car kev randomly just stops talking

(which is weird cause he's kept rambling this entire time)

and he looks neil in the eyes and goes

'i love you neil'

and neil just like takes a second

pAuSeS

because he's not used to people showing him love even tho so many ppl rlly do love him (this boy is2g-)

and then quietly says

'love you too kev'

and finishes buckling him up

all the upperclassmen have been watching this going on the entire time and they read into in the exact wrong way

(they're trying their best, my baby dumbasses, but they're just wrong)

and think this is a romantic love confession between frenimies *instead* of the declaration of mutual respect and affection between 2 bro's that it is

matt is the first one to voice this after kev and neil leave and he is

PUMPED

he is super excited that his bro has found someone to love just like he found dan and is super excited to like talk abt love and go on double dates n stuff

and every one else agrees

which is why they're all super disappointed that by the time a week goes by, nothing has changed between them

so dan matt and allison decide to do something about it (renee+seth ducking out because'it's rude to meddle' and 'why tf would i care abt jostens love bullshit')

they try to set up kevin and neil a bunch of different time s

once with the offer of a study session that they all say they can't make it to, leaving neil and kevin alone

another time with the offer of kevin and neil going to the movies w/ matt and dan

(neil ends up busy w/ a skype date with andrew that he can't pass up cause they're always so busy and he has to see his boyf so kevin just ends up 3rd wheeling matt and dan)

and once with allison straight up just telling neil that he and kevin should get coffee some time

which neil respond to with

'we already get coffee together?'

so dan matt and alli are stumped

they don't know what to do with these 'lovesick' idiots

they're problem gets solved tho don't you worry

so the next weekend, andrew is gonna come over to psu and stay for like a week

neil is oVER THE MOON

HE IS SOO HAPPYYYYY

And kevin is really happy too

so the upperclassmen take this to mean that these boys have finally gotten the hint and asked each other out

so imagine they're suprise when the next time the group goes to get lunch (which they do with each other every wednesday )

a super short blond emo joins them

and no one really acknowledges it?!?!?!?!?!?

until renee is just like 'hello andrew, how are you?' knowing smile on her face

and the upperclassmen are just like 'oh it's the famous andrew, that makes sense' but then they're like 'wait how does renee know andrew?!?!'

they ask and renee is just like 'neil gave me his discord. he thought we'd get along well'

-and then they're just like okayyy renee totally has a crush but well let it slideee

uNTIL

at the end of lunch neil is just like 'oh wait i never properly introduced him-' -cause you're a mess, junkie' -fuck off andrew' then just turns to the upperclassmen and says

'guys this is my boyfriend andrew'

and the foxes just silently freak out

because neil is in love with kevin? it's so clear? why did neil go and get a boyf when he has his love right in front of him??????

so after lunch, matt dan and alli ask to talk to neil privately

(andrew, kev,and renee all talk together while seth like, looks at his phone)

and they're like 'neil why'd you get a boyf??'

and neils like 'wdym?'

and alli says 'why'd you get a boyf if your so obviously in love w/ kevin?!'

and neil just LAUGHS at them

straight up cackles

and then the upperclassmen are like whaaaaattttt????

we saw your declaration of love at the party??

and you're both really close and seem to genuinely like and be interested in each other??

what gives????

and neils like

'me n kev are besties

that was a platonic declaration of love

also

i'm demi and me and drew have been together for like 3 years now'

and the upperclassmen are just like 'ooooooooooooooooohhhhhh sorryyyyyyyyy'

it's the first time alli has ever lost a bet (it was w/ seth abt neils feelings for kevin)

neil tells andrew abt it and the shortie just snorts and is like 'kevin would fuck a racket quicker than he'd fuck you'

neil is like 'i'm basically exy personified tho, soooooo'

drew tells him to shut up

(he does when andrew asks yes or no, just nods his head and smiles)

renee knew all along and is happy for her friends

kevin just wants to play exy he's been deprived the entire post

So yeah that's the entire headcanon. If you want some music to listen to while you write or just in general i recommend "I lost a Friend" by FINNEAS and "Corduroy Dreams" by Rex Orange County. they don't really have anything to do with the story, they're just real good :) Thanks for reading. see y'all later



[myheartbeatskids]

There's a reason why you just trust people like this...

What kind of people did you ask?

Those that have been with their soulmate for So long they dont even think about what happens during that quickie when no one is looking.

For those of y'all that have had the greatest sex ever you know what i mean. That intense wetness that is like "Call the military, we need Noah's Ark brought in, the Earth will flood if you don't stop us!"

Okay Okay you kids with soul mates that aren't dead or been in prison probably don't know... Because you ain't had sex with someone other than your soulmate.

Cause she was all "for real its not like that with every one you have sex with?"

Hell no. It definitely is not.

What was most quizzical to me was did this happen before or after he pulled his pants on?

Now correct me if I'm wrong but these are jeans and not slacks... Like jeans are the thickest and most rugged material ever.

Matthew Hagan interrupts "OMG I feel like I've never had sex before! That's never happened to me! Never!"

Trust me. If she was that wet it would went all the way to his belt buckle if his pants were on during.

Which means he hurriedly pulled his pants back up over the flood without drying. Lucky for him girls are not sticky like boys otherwise I'd imagine the pain pulling those down after they dried.

So one problem that I will point out they did was she has a shawl that matches his pants so he could had wrapped it around his waist for a fashion accessory.

Or dried his loins before allowing her King to put himself back in his garage. Or pull out into the street however you want to look at it.

So I know here in the Americas some of us sleep around. And I know yall do too South. ;) ;) So don't front!

But further more most people touch themselves and so we know a dry day thats all I'm gonna say.

So i asked and this was not purposely done and i can tell by the shocked laughter it wss not.

So looking at that dry dry land of Pakistan with a mountain glacier in the background of the original photo..

It speaks Loudly of our need for Soulmates in the world.

Because sex with your soulmate is every time no matter what, creating moisture that will stop global warming and create a pure liquid that will evaporate and cause clean rain fall from you guessed it -- Mother Nature.

So now many many more toys can be flushed down the toilet by Matthew Hagan who has no ideas that sex with his soulmate is like dipping his Dick in the toilet. All due to these two having sex in desert climates!!

Now Now. Steven Lucas and I have had sex like this but both our soulmates were dead. And we both had permission and they didn't have sex and My William kinda showed him how to do it proper -- but both of us were thinking about our soulmates who were there and projecting themselves.

Now the other William that is curly mop topped and blue eyes that is Steven Lucas' Twin also has the same issue and was my William's best friend. And they look alike. So you know that was wet and wild.

But my ex Husband? Nope. 264 different people I've had sexual relations with. 86 of these people and i could have prevented global warming.

32.6% that's not even one third which just... Well i had a lot of bad one night stands. Wake up ehh... Nah life with you would be okay but it would suck!!

Then that 32.6% I couldn't ever hurt in my life. I had to protect. Because they cared about me but also their soulmate and our minds would always think about them and so never would either of us be devoted to each other which would mean we cheated ourselves and Earth of the truth.

None of us could risk losing World Peace over a relationship.

I got pregnant by a baster. Like a turkey baster. Artificial insemination. So she is William's because Jesse James and his Team of Outlaw Brothers froze it.

And so the point is.

Think about yourselves and your sexual relations. And realize you need to go get DNA tested to find your soulmate

Because it's not just a boyfriend or girlfriend, its a whole new world. Things you never believed to be possible. Unimaginable things like incredible sex every single day 90 times a day. Not kidding.

Hey I'm may be 39 years old. Celibate since my divorce and had less sexual partners than sex everyday for one year.

So, i know what I'm talking about but the best sex i have is with a ghost. And i can't because hes dead. And so you need to. Because I know it will make you a better human and a happier one and it will change you to be the best person in the world.

And if he was alive. I would had sex at least 364 days this year or 9 times in one day to make up for a missed afternoon.

If you have sexual relations everyday while pregnant the baby slides out in like 15 minutes. If not it takes 45 and your body gets ripped apart. And you never forget that pain.

And also you stop global warming!

And so men you're all absolute royalty because I know 264 of you tuck your penis upwards when you are done so you don't walk around looking like a compass.

As you can also tell on William with that direct vertical slant upwards in the wet spot.

So Fashion Police and dry off!

DNA4U police and go drop by your local airport or police station or Planned Parenthod and find out what God intended for you, what you deserve in life.

Not the crapshoot you got and don't deserve. Hey my son loved serving the world making Dildos for people like his family, moms who miss him too much but won't go in the street anymore. Its safest he says not to.

But we all deserve a nice warm loving body and not just a ghost.

So don't be a ghost of yourself!! Be all you can be! Be an Adventure! Be Happy! Be loved!! Get what you deserve!!!

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

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A post shared by ABC World News Tonight (@abcworldnewstonight) on Apr 6, 2020 at 12:14pm PDT

The curve flattened I'm told due to evaporation.

Evaporation is allowed to occur when 3 or more people in one house have COVID-19 and give consent to immediate travel to their home place -- some aliens prefer not to call it a planet but it is

So when they are diagnosed they are sent home in NY state including NYC. And so it's made s remarkable difference in numbers.

The evaporation numbers are electronically recorded live in a databank

So dead bodies to dinosaurs and handle that nasty drama or evaporation and hands free and clean.

And as a doctor or nurse, "you are diagnosed with COVID-19. You will have an adventurous future. Please go home and enjoy your ride. Here's two prescriptions to help you on your life's journey"

I mean really. Try a little flavor.

"Bitch you gonna die yo! Here take this pill so you shut the fuck up while you dien' ain't no one wanna hear you yo! And push this down and suck when you be coughin like you dyin cause you will!!" I mean i Don't even care. What are they gonna do? Complain? When? They about to die. In case they do "I explained the medication use and how to and when to and I said the future is different than it is now. And i need a break. Care to join me away from this soon to be home individual?" now its only for now and i really don't recommend you to talk to someone like that except people like me, just wanna punch some fucking ass holes in the face.

Besides some people find that kind of interaction comical and they actually do prefer it to normal doctor talk. Its humbling. Some get upset like Denise.

And i just walked by Uncle Dad and he said to her when she borrowed $2000 from me and lied it was for bills but it was so she could go to Hawaii and she said "just between you and me i borrow this Don't tell dad" and she was talking about it because I walked by and he said "yeah Denise just between you and me You got a bloody broken nose"

Because he wanted me and my daughter to go. And she borrowed almost all my savings and i didn't have enough for 3 plane tickets to Hawaii when she already had $2,000 and 2 paychecks go in and had over $6000 of her own money on the trip after bills paid. So she had $8000...

And i couldn't go. She she got a busted nose. She was until 6 months ago assisted leader of Zulululu on Eaerth.

She insisted that Nathaniel try to initiate sex with me at that time and lost her rulership.

Because in reality she told him to rape me. That's what she fucking did.

Anyway point. If someone talks in a different manner to a COVID than usual. But isn't abusive as i was not abusive in the passage above i expect it to be excused and accepted and discontinued soon. As it is ONLY for COVID-19 activated and not carriers (which will only show up in DNA4U)

A lot of people The most strong people have been invaded by aliens. The strongest.

And we been beat down. Over and over.

I'm gonna pull out the NHRA because some of them kids are real special to me.

32% are human. 92% of the remaining percentage are alien. That's just the drivers.

72% of mechanics are human. 4% of the remaining are alien. (Cause they're fucking lazy -- not just an opinion)

The rest evil humans.

So of 600 drivers... Take 32 times 6 and you got some fucking number i ain't a calculstor but it's about 3x6 is 18 plus in the ones column 2x6 plus Yoir carry.

192 I'm assuming out of 600.

So that totally isn't right. 32% of drivers. 1/3 of 600 is 200

Fuck tree msn noe he says there's 900 drivers. Makes me laugh

So over 300... Why does the calculator say 288??

Why does this not work? 32% oh is not 33.333% it's less than im all thinking 30% is 1/3.

Fuxk math.

I'm sloppy in math. I have good humor about it tho and tree gets a good chuckle at me because I get so dumb about it. I was looking for 35% which is about 315.

See why Yall need 8 hours or more of restful sleep? Denise kept me up all night acting stupid screaming and then Nathaniel woke me up early worried about his livelihood. So i got me like 4 or 5 hours.

So 288 people surrounded by 900 people.

This is often the case then the remaining (i have a calculator here) 612 people try to drag down the 288 i can clearly see that they are outnumbered by over double

So that is a two on one unfair fight. Two not even being allowed to be on the fucking planet!!

And the one alone to stand or ball up to defend is nearly defenseless.

Then in the NHRA to make matters worse the aliens lie and manipulate to get their mechanics behind them.

So i developed a system that the driver team that wants to fight fights as a team and they have to pay real cash money starting at $10,000 that just goes up and up. If they intend to fight a human and Easter Egg occurs and the aliens that put up the bounty to warrior can't fight and must award all cash to the human ran team. Like Erica Enders.

And if she catches you talking shit after the cash award (usually a wire payment) and she will. She racks up fees and fines aka charges. Then she can beat the shit outta the alien team that has to stand there with their hands at their sides or in their pockets after the pockets are cleared by the awarded team and each person gets 5 hits to the face or ribs then the shit talker gets 10 from each team member from the human side.

Since 2013.

Aliens do not belong on Earth. Many of the drivers are the worst offenders of human trafficking which is why They are allowed in the NHRA so we can spy on them and is why rhe mechanics are so many humans.

Because by default humans hate aliens. Its just a distaste we are programmed and then we feel sorry for them for our programmed hate..

It is a very vicious cycle and very painful. Because we can't stand the way they act or dress or the way they're so fucking happy. And its because they lie and hide who they are from us and we feel it.

Thus the distaste

No matter how hard we try to like them and enjoy being with them the hiding and lying over and over of their true identity is terrible.

Queen hid from me her identity and I was all who the fuck are you? Like it wasn't like i would be rammed if i asked.

She said "pardon?"

And i was like oh shit and i got all red... And i was all oh im sorry I should not talk to her like that she's elder and proper! So i said "im sorry ma'am i was Just wondering who you were"

"Well I'm the fucking Queen!!"

I must had looked like a turnip by then all the blood rushing to my face to feed my brain.

"Of who?! What? Where?!"

"Of England" and she folded her hands in her lap on one side and looked all dignified.

Holy fucking shit who would thought?! Not me!

But an alien will lie "I'm just like you but ...." And never dignify themselves to say they are alien. And it is irritating.

When Queens or Kings don't announce themselves its full of mystery and wonder.

When an alien DOES then it's full of mystery and wonder.

When they don't it's absolutely full blown annoying.

Sometimes we can act like children and allow a person to follow us around and copy every move like the other kid doesn't know how to live. But there comes a point even a child will explode in temper.

They just don't fit on our planet!

Even Venus. Neptune and Mars when they transferred to human Because they earned the right by following the rules we still had to tweak their brains and look and so on.

Neptune looked like Ewoks. They were so fucking cute!!! I love Ewoks. I slept with one forever in my bed when i was a kid - a stuffed one from the store.. A fake non living one. I didn't know. I just felt a lot of love.

And i was being really abused by Denise and Nathaniel and i felt really better to,wake up to its cute little face. It was the one thing Denise didn't try to destroy because she knew the truth about them but she sure didn't tell me.

So although I have and the whole human race has a severe dislike and distaste for the alien race I did ensure that their deaths are one I would want for myself. For my children. For the proper Queen of England who can joke around and make my body feed my brain to keep me alive for one more day.

Something kind.

Evaporation is a slight accordion feeling mainly in the chest and then off they go.

So no one intended for Donald Trump to be running his mouth telling people not to listen to me

Simple bronchitis treatment then home to their families to discuss the ability to leave and when and where. And apparently there's a website you can organize yourselves on so you don't go alone.

I have tried every other way and it was unsuccessful.

I'm not destroying my own planet that was a gift because some aliens are fucking rude.

Im just gonna send their asses home as i should have done long ago.

Its not about being bitter or wanting revenge.

Simple fact is they don't belong here and they have their own home and their own Gods.

Its straining for their Gods to switch between their home and here.

Not my creation. Not my responsibility.

Not the nurses nor doctor nor military.

Not the mailmans nor Amazon's.

When yall voted for an American Revolutionary War 76% voted yes. Of the world wide population of nurses and doctors and health cate professionals 81.5% voted yes. Over 81% voted for a Revolution

So i expect no problems from now and the next 13 days.

24% of Y'all were probably aliens. Tree says... 16 and a half % which then leaves probably evil humans. Snd tree says yes.

So 100% of Humans says yes fuck this shit.

So y'all drink your grocery store wine. Have your cheese. Leave me some extra sharp cheddar but get you some too and get your ice cream. Buckle down and take your tests for money to buy all that. Don't pay no rent nor mortgage

We will talk to car loans i expect. Talk to your car loan providers. I don't want no dude towing your car cause he know it's at home and you didn't pay the monthly payment.

So use your DNA4U to pay your car loans and car insurance and get your food..

Don't be paying baggers online. I got a couple I follow here on Tumblr always a medical or food need. Go on the street corner and work for that yo.

They can get same as you to take a test

Get your student loans deferred.

If you have no DNA4U access and you did and you got an email saying why then you're leaving the planet So click the link and make your arrangements to get on your way.