#((and I don't want to attract creepy people to this blog))
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the desperate urge to compliment someone online I think is super gorgeous and absolute Butch Goals Vs the utter terror of coming across creepy or making them feel surveilled or voyeured about: FIGHT
#red said#this is why I'm so bad at flirting. bc before i initiate contact with ANYONE I have to go through a 6 month panic period#where i run through scripts in my head and worry about coming off as weird or creepy or parasocial#and the longer that goes on the more sure i am that if i speak to them they will immediately know that bc of this anxiety#i have spent thinking about them. not bc I'm obsessed with them but bc i am concerned about how weird it might make them feel#and then I'm also like WOW NARCISSISTIC OF YOU TO THINK THEY'LL EVEN NOTICE YOUR COMMENT#LET ALONE CARE#god you are truly the WORST what an AWFUL way to think why can't you just be NORMAL#and the whole time the 'creepy' thing i wanted to say in the first place was like#'you're really cool' or 'i love your jacket' or 'i hope you're ok'#it isn't just attraction stuff either. i have invited a friend from work out for a drink ONCE in my life.#and it took a year AND only happened bc she was upset after a conflict at work so i could tell she needed to vent#like I'm SO BAD at this bc large or small any kind of initiating contact is like#wow ok so YOU THINK. YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO THEIR TIME. YOU'RE GOING TO PUT THEM ON THE SPOT LIKE THAT.#and it's so ANNOYING cause it's like. my dude. nobody thinks that about you. you have friends. most people like compliments.#and anyway when i do give compliments it's always in the most casual way possible bc of these anxieties#i don't ever want anyone to feel like. trapped by my regard.#but it's so dumb it's literally the tiniest smallest things#it's why I've always been bad at making friends online. i just silently follow people's blogs and like things.#i have also been known to do the IRL version of that. hovering near the edge of people's groups trying to like. mentally project regard.#which GUESS WHAT!!! comes off way creepier than just saying hey man you look amazing i love your whole vibe#AAAAAAAAAA#(davide this is also why i followed your blog so hard for like 500 years but got very afraid of ever acknowledging you might know who i am)
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18 & 20 for the munday meme!
Long post ahoy:
For the first question:
I did want to do the King of Fantasy verse as an AU, but sadly that never came to pass. I hope Shandi and I will do something for it someday (since Athena has a fantasy counterpart in it and has feelings for Iori). Plus it would be fun to slay goblins, orcs and dragons.
Another AU I wanted to do was to do SNK Gals Fighters/Heroines in which I could write Miss X. My original intention was to make it super meta (like have Miss X curse the SNK execs for forcing him to crossdress) and to do it for April Fool's Day, but since I saw someone make creepy-ass Miss X/reader stuff on Tumblr and all the fetishy stuff surrounding Miss X...I gave up on that idea a long time ago.
So, Miss X won't be appearing on this blog due to creepy people. Sorry.
As for the second question:
I don't have a tried and true strategy for overcoming writer's block, but I would often watch things for inspiration (like scenes from a movie or something) to help push through it. I would need to come up with a better idea for when it happens in the future, though.
#asks#answered#munday#((seeing that person being weirdly obsessive over Miss X put me off from that AU))#((and I don't want to attract creepy people to this blog))#((I know I said this before but x Reader fics are cringy as fuck and a waste of space))
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Honestly, I think a couple of recent anons are missing a key perspective. The post about "soul connections" being a creepy way to frame a sudden intense interest in someone and the post about "why would i care if you found me attractive"...these are maybe not compassionate on their face, no. But they are useful reminders to people who have been taught to be doormats that being a doormat is not necessary or fair to them.
If someone I've just recently met comes up to me talking about a soul connection, I'm under no obligation to explore that just because they feel something. They're not entitled to me. If someone thinks I'm unattractive, literally who cares? I'm not trying to be attractive to them. They aren't entitled to find me attractive.
Way too many people are taught they need to be soft and nice to people who approach them. They're taught being good means putting yourself in a box and doing what everyone else wants. Too many people are never taught to recognize when someone is being inappropriate. Too many people don't realize they're allowed to find things distasteful and inappropriate and they are allowed to push back in no uncertain terms.
These posts may not be "compassionate" on a surface level. Maybe the phrasing is a little clumsy, maybe they rub someone the wrong way. But (I think) it is compassionate to remind people of these things, regardless.
Kudos to you for not bending to the bullshit. I hope those other anons get whatever help they need, because...wow, lol.
Thank you. It's perfectly valid to not enjoy/agree with all of the things I share here and I'm not even opposed to elaborating on and discussing the post in question when that happens. But if people view compassion as being nice and polite and understanding 24/7 and thus expect that from me and everything I share here, they're completely misunderstanding my intention with this blog. Because sometimes the most compassionate thing you can say to someone who is acting inappropriately is in fact "hey please cut that out, that's not an appropriate way to treat others." And to me compassion is about being real and establishing boundaries when someone is hurting you so that they have a chance to fix it, not about being super nice and polite towards everyone no matter what they say or do
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as someone who never really interacted with the ouran fandom i have to know, do you guys just pretend the whole kyoya scene in the beach episode/chapter (both manga & anime) doesn't exist? cuz back when i read the manga i hated his character for the rest of the series bc i couldn't forget how creepy that scene was, and also couldn't figure out why everyone else was so crazy about him knowing he did that. some ppl act like it was an anime only issue when the scene was just as bad in the manga (or worse considering he laughs at her afterwards like it was funny), so bisco fully intended it to happen anyway. how do you guys go about this? sorry if this ask is kinda random, you're one of the few popular ouran blogs i know so i wanted to get mass opinion lol
I think of the beach episode as the chekov's gun that never fires because it is infinitely hilarious to me to think of Haruhi just casually bringing it up 4 years later, like it was a non-event, and causing WW3 among the hosts.
Anyway I don't actually understand myself why women find Kyoya hot because I'm a lesbian and he's not my type of soggy wet man anyway. I'll have to hand that question over to the floor of Kyoya Y/N girlies. People definitely do find the scene attractive, but I can't say it does anything for me.
As for taking issue with it, I guess my issue is more with the framing of the scene than the scene itself and that more comes down to the framing of the episode than that particular scene. I don't have an issue with Kyoya doing it, so much as the "moral of the story" itself that justifies it in this weirdly regressive way that seems out of tone from other episodes.
I'm actually at a conference and I'm half asleep answering this, so pinch of salt here. Floor is open for people operating on more than 5 hours sleep and a bread roll to comment!
#possibly controversial thing to admit but...Kyoya is not only not my favourite character but I don't think he breaks my top 5#maybe he does. depends on the ranking.
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I hope I asked correctly. This is my first time on your blog [My request is a imagine for a female reader and Jasper Hale] Requested and fluff
Well, my request is that the reciter is a new student and he is very sociable, but he is also an accomplished singer and one day the reciter goes into the woods for privacy and sings in a high note and a voice that attracts even animals and he does not know that someone is watching
Warnings : Borderline creepy Jasper, wannabe tense moment.
Words: 961
Author's note: Nice nice nice (I don't know how long this has been sitting in my askes, but there it is.) Also, listen to First Day of My Life by Bright Eyes, if you want context for the song. I'm very glad you liked my blood enough to request something, I'm so sorry for the time it took me to answer back to you. Since you didn't specify the vibe you wanted, I played around with something new, hope you like it !!
Rules
Masterlist
OG Work Masterlist
Snow White moment
Jasper Hale x Fem!Reader
(If Forks was a bore and grey, then (Y/N) was the small ray of sunshine that managed to pierce through. If (Y/N) was sunshine incarnated, her warmth was contagious, arriving in mid-December was not a problem, and she'd even managed to enter the school choir before Christmas break. Now early February, you had yet to find a group to attach herself to, people demanded her attention during any free time the school gave them, and having eyes follow your every move was not unusual here.)
Leaving English class was always a relief. The choking feeling you drowned in was lifted when the bell rang, and teenagers flooded the halls toward their next goal. You, following in their protective waves.
Humming, as per usual, you walked from English to your locker, books under your arms as Jake and Laurianne talked loudly beside you. Echoes of the other students' conversations fly over you, and warmth surrounds you as you walk with them.
Something about the book for the homework. You'd already studied it in your last school.
"I don't see the problem with Maus... It's an important read about the holocaust with depictions of meese for the Jews and cats for the Germans..." You say, adding to their conversation, opening your locker.
Jake adds something that gets lost in the current of sounds, and you follow Laurianne in her laughter. Your eyes catch Melissa's, and you wave in her direction, smiling at her and Gabrielle from afar. Then, you bury your nose in your locker again.
Then, you feel it again, the eyes on your back, snarly, cold air hitting the skin of your neck. You have shivers and cold sweat running down your skin at the feeling. You're used to that, the glances. The voices around you dim as your heart starts beating in your throat. A quick check around and the same golden eyes you're used to seeing etched on you shine.
You smile at him, a force of habit.
Jasper Hale, Jasper Cullen? You're not too sure. Melissa tried to explain their family relationship to you when you first arrived at Forks, but that gave you a migraine. He never talks. Wrong. He talks sometimes in class. You share English, and he's sat behind you. Jasper is a bit creepy, though his sister (twin?) Rosalie has a colder appearance yet is more friendly, conversing when needed.
Jasper never speaks first, always looking. His other sister, Alice, with whom you have art class says it's because he's shy. You didn't ask.
Jasper smiles back at you a little. A twitch of his lips only. Under the fluorescent lights, it makes him seem ominously pale. Parchemin skin and shadows creak the skin around his mouth and make his mouth look full of sharp, fang-like teeth. One of his brothers, the one with the sad eyes, says something to him that makes him frown. You don't remember which one he is... E-something. Jasper looks back at you, his eyes now locked with yours and for the brief second you stay like this, you can swear that Jasper's eyes were darker.
You look back into your locker. Art class is next, and relief washes over you. The end of the day is near, and liberty soon will follow.
*
Walking home was usually your favourite time because you could cut through the woods and sing your heart out. One thing Forks lacked (except maybe everything) was a competent and interesting choir group. This was one thing Denver had more than Forks, for certain. For a while, the woods were the safest and calmest places to sing your heart out.
Enunciating the words with the correct rhythm, something easy, something soft. Song you know by heart. You know lots of them by heart, but this is your favourite. You start by humming the words, and the deeper she walks into the forest, the words leaving from your lips, clear as day. A twig snaps in the background, bringing a shocked silence as you turn around, scanning the woods around you.
Nothing.
Well, it's nothing out of the ordinary. The woods crack and break, it's natural, and you start singing again.
"Besides, maybe this time is different. I mean, I think you like me..." You sing softly as a bird flies low and rests on a branch near you. You smile, the weird sensation of eyes watching over you (at you?) slowly falling toward the back of your mind as more animals slowly creep toward you.
"This is the first day of my life. Swear I was born right in the doorway." You start again, looking at the squirrels and the solo rabbit creep your way. You sit on cold, dead leaves and forest moss, not the most comfortable.
It's rare, a sight like this, that animals get close to humans like this. Other birds land on branches as you sing, your voice slowly getting louder. You relish in your Snow White moment.
*
Alice saw it happen. That meeting with her and the animals. Alice says she has something. A talent. Like his, like Edward's, like hers.
Jasper creeps closer again. He'd recoiled when he stepped on that branch earlier. He got distracted.
He'll talk to her soon, Alice told him she saw it. He knows she didn't tell him about the visions she got of her death either, nor the ones where she flees, scared for her life.
Hunt hunt hunt. Prey prey prey. Words that run inside his head all the time. She smells like heaven.
He'll ask Rosalie to get in a team with her, in the next class. A group project is the perfect opportunity to meet new people. Not to get too close... just close enough.
Yes, just close enough.
#x reader#x reader imagine#imagines#jasper hale imagine#jasper x reader#creepy jasper#creepy#jasper hale twilight#twilight#twilight imagine#jasper cullen#jasper hale x reader
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I'm personally not comfortable with that blog because of how much detail I saw in the descriptions of some posts and that's why I blocked, being almost 30 and having seen the actors grow up in front of me - because when they were 12 I was already an adult - that just feels extremely creepy to me personally, maybe it's different if you're the same age of the actors and you can see them as having your age so to you it doesn't feel weird... I can get that because when I saw the actors of Steve, Nancy and Jonathan during season 1 I was aware they were my age so them having intimate scenes didn't bother me as much because I was aware I wasn't watching actual minors ( although I don't like explicit sex scenes in any case tbh but that's a personal preference and the scenes they had were filmed in a very modest and covered way so it wasn't disgusting like watching euphoria for example that I literally hate 😂)
and as always you do you in the end, but if minors here want to block you because they feel uncomfortable that's their right and trying to tell them they are "puritans" for not being comfortable seeing adults discuss sexual situations is a weird guilt tripping thing to do from an adult to a minor?? Just enforce boundaries and block ?
I also don't think this is about sexuality at all because I think people would have the same reaction for any of the couples of the teens
discussing attraction, jokes in the show and the possibility of an intimate moment in the show for the plot is normal but seeing adults discuss in detail what these 15yo would hypothetically do in specific situations feels just not right, especially when you're not even aging them up, that's just not something I want to see and that's why that blog is gonna stay blocked 😶
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s2 episode 10 thoughts
woohoo! this episode has "museum" in the title and i love museums! but it also talks about cults in the description and i'm less keen on those
update: there were no real museums :( i feel lied to and cheated
we open on some cows. i was admiring their cuteness and their wonderful sounds by writing "moo" in my notes before we get a JUMPSCARE to a beef processing plant which. augh. unpleasant. i do not care for meat related story lines.
we see this woman working at the processing facility and she comes home to her kids and no husband in sight (a single mom who works two jobs, who loves her kids and never stops, iktr)
and she's getting in the shower but we see some fellow with glasses is WATCHING her. the question is from where and how?!? oh very creepy!!!
then the older brother leaves and we find him in the morning stripped to his underwear in the woods and whimpering. and his back is covered in writing.
so naturally my first thought was "what does this have to do with the meat? or did they just jumpscare me with unrelated meat imagery?"
(we later learn that it is, in fact, related. but this all happened before the title sequence even aired, so i was a little suspicious!)
cut to our beloved duo. mulder says this waking up in the woods with writing on the back and no memory thing has happened to a bunch of other kids. and scully's like "but why does this interest you?" and he says the sheriff claims they're being possessed which does seem up his alley
they're in the car with the sheriff and mulder was a gentleman and let scully sit in the front <3 he said my queen, you have endured so much, and motion sickness shall not be one of your troubles
at this point i realized the earlier meat scenes WERE related because the sheriff is introducing this new religious cult, who are vegetarians and bought a ton of cows to keep as pets. cows are cute but a bit large for pets in my opinion.
next they SHARE AN UMBRELLA on the way to the church's sermon thingy
okay so the leader is typing while someone reads his words which is certainly a presentation style. they all wear red turbans. and scully says she doesn't think they seem like the type to get involved in all this. she wanted them to be innocent so she could pet their cows. i'm onto you.
mulder hears a few lines of their chanting and says that these are "walk-ins'', which means the people think enlightened beings are controlling their bodies. okay theological king!
they go to talk to the boy who was in the woods in his underwear and man. we get this shot of mulder in the back. and his coat. is so comically large. i had to pause. take a deep breath. and remember the origins of my url.
the teenager says he thinks he was maybe possessed by an animal spirit or something, he doesn't know, and scully's sleuthing around the house when she discovers a child (the teenager's brother) and they are having a chat (again how much of this work involves talking to children) but SOMEONE is WATCHING THEM and it is CREEPY!!
cutscene to the pair eating ribs together and scully has sauce on her face and mulder wipes it off for her. and i squeaked. a squeak emerged from my body. look what they've driven me to. i am a woman with dignity squeaking over a rib date.
and why did they both look so good? but i was especially admiring mulder, in his silly little rib eating fit, explain the cult's reasoning behind a new spirit taking over the bodies of those who lost hope. i was embarrassed at myself for how attractive i found him. but then i remembered there are a lot of people who have probably been in a similar situation. so thank u for following this blog so i feel less alone in that manner.
oh nooo a bunch of kids are being mean to one of the church members on the side of the road... mulder gets up to intervene and tells them to gtfo (we love a man that stands for morals and justice)
the lead bully is ANGRY and sees scully come out and says "why don't you run along with the little wife" in her direction which is exactly what i have been saying but no one listens to me.
(neither of them seem to care that this happened which makes me think it's not the first time such words have been tossed in their direction)
and he's all "my father will hear about this" because the girl notices scully has a gun and gasp. he's the sheriff's son! so mulder's like "yeah i think he WOULD like to know about this" and they beat it
there's a moment where scully says it's hard to know who is in the wrong without having a scorecard, implying that keeping up with small town drama is impossible, and mulder is gazing at her. like GAZING at her. i think he heard the wife suggestion and was seriously mulling it over.
then the sheriff's son is making out with this girl for a time i considered far too long. but she goes back to where she lives and she sees a dog! a very cute dog! she appears to know this dog and goes to visit when BAM! dog-related kidnapping occurs :(
she ends up down to her underwear in the woods and she's hallucinating a giant crow eating her and also being swarmed with bugs which seems deeply unpleasant
scully does a check up on her because she is a DOCTOR and you had best not forget it! she seems fine... except... weird chemical in blood... a chemical you'd need to be some sort of doctor to know about... and we see the cult leader used to be a doctor before getting kicked out of the doctor world... it's not looking great for him
they pay him a visit but he won't let them enter his place because they will defile the sacredness of the space with their meat-eating aura. and then all of the members of the church swarm our duo's car and OHH it was creepy. but they manage to bring him into the station for questioning.
they're trying to ask him about the weird chemicals and he's going on about the injustice of eating cows and at this point the sheriff starts screaming at the guy. and mulder has to escort the sheriff out and tell him to be normal.
he says something about the guy starting a lot of trouble for being a holy man and i was thinking to myself. famously holy men DO cause a lot of trouble. this is perfectly on brand.
so then the rest of the church members were protesting outside of the bbq restaurant where our besties recently ate. and the sheriff's son comes out and throws COW BLOOD on them. he took his notes from carrie i see. the sheriff is PISSED and wrangles him up.
while all of this is going down, a strange man is beckoning to scully. and i am of the opinion that strange men beckoning to women should be avoided, but this is what separates me from the fbi agents of the world, because she goes over and he says he wants to show them something
at this point, the score to the show was going hard. i was jamming out. it was really getting dramatic as they rode over to some place and then got out of the car.
this strange man is talking about how he used to own this land, but he sold it and got rich, and he's saying that the new people inject the cows with stuff. i felt as if this episode was trying to make me a lil vegan.
scully's talking about how growth hormone is safe but the guy is not buying whatever the government has to say on the subject. and yeah like scully the government did just take you for a while so maybe they're actually lying? who knows. she went to med school and i didn't. frankly i don't want anything extra in my cow
we see the glasses of the man who was watching them earlier doing some cow injections! the amount of red flags here is staggering...
at this point, our regularly scheduled plot is interrupted by an excellent (and by that, of course, i mean entirely unrealistic) CGI helicopter crash that had be yelling at the screen. i LOVE 90's CGI it always fills me with whimsy. like sorry i know this was a serious scene but it looked funny and i laughed!!!
the two people on the helicopter are dead, and one of them was a doctor, who was found with a briefcase full of cash and a mysterious liquid... hmm..
mulder enters the room. "scully? you're not gonna believe this"
YESSSS! he said the LINE! i had seen it meme'd into my vocabulary far before i had ever decided to watch this show, or even had any idea what it was referring to. i would just mumble "scully, you're never gonna believe this" to myself whenever i learned any surprising information. for at least the last 5 years or so. so this felt very full circle to me. he did it.
he also proceeds to say something that scully can, in fact believe, because she already figured it out herself
so here's the situation: the doctor was treating a bunch of kids, including all of those who had gone into a frenzy in the woods. but what is the through-line here...?
we see glasses man again and then a RANDOM FARMER IS SHOT DEAD!
they go back to the house of the mom and the kids, and she's like yeah my son was getting vitamin shots from that guy. man i hate to tell you but i think there was more than vitamins in those shots. but mulder is... distracted by something.
there's a light coming from the bathroom mirror and he realizes there's something behind it. so he wraps his hand up and PUNCHES IT (bad luck be upon him for 7 years)
he finds what he refers to as a "private little movie studio" with a running camera and a TON of vhs tapes... nasty!!! not good!!!
cutscene to the sheriff's son, who has undergone a kidnapping and has not woken up! sheriff is naturally in deep distress. it turns out that he was actually murdered.
the car of our duo passes that of the gunman who shot that random farmer and scully realizes she knows that face... and i'm thinking that it did not look familiar at all. maybe it's someone she went to school with?
mulder is interrogating the video man, and he's getting real rough with him. he smacks him on the head, which is justified considering he was filming people in their home, but i do worry that mulder's interrogation violence will someday get him fired. the dude swears up and down that he did NOT kill them, but he did do the kidnapping and writing, because the doctor was experimenting on those kids and turning them into "monsters"
scully makes a connection... the gunman she saw before... was the FELLOW THAT KILLED DEEP THROAT???!!!! she has to excuse herself from the room at this revelation
mulder is deep in interrogation mode and the glasses slash video guy is saying that the doctor paid people- himself included- to inject the cows with a mystery substance, and that he must have been doing it to the kids he was treating as well
scully's back in the room and her and mulder are so close. so close. there is no reason for them to be that close. but here they are.
she says the stuff in the bottle was unidentifiable. that's actually not what she says, she said something about the number of proteins it had, and that means nothing to me but mulder goes OFF. he takes her outside the room and starts yelling at her about this meaning something.
here, at this moment, is where i realize what was happening: deep throat had mentioned to scully how they were dealing with people so cruel that they injected alien dna into kids. and i was putting 2 and 2 together JUST AS our main characters were. which honestly i feel like i should have picked up on that earlier but i hone in on character details and not alien details so sue me.
anyway mulder is absolutely gagged. he's yelling about "deep throat dying for this", and scully looks super super scared. he tells her to head out and that he wants this gunman taken alive
next we see him knock on the door of the... cult leader?!?! yes, you heard me right! mulder explains that he KNOWS it might offend this dude's religion, but he needs help. and so all of the kids and the families involved with the secret alien injection are taken to the barn where these people worship. tensions are boiling.
scully asks the sheriff where mulder is and he says that he left because he thought he knew where the gunman was. and this was not part of the plan, the splitting up and going to an undisclosed location! but i can imagine that this was deeply personal for him on the levels of 1. having lost deep thoat 2. having lost his sister and requesting any information pertaining to aliens and 3. these were the folks that kidnapped him at the end of s1 so. he had some scores to settle.
he goes to the beef processing plant, where he finds a TON of gasoline poured all over the floor. now, if i were mulder, being both deathly afraid of fire and also generally concerned with my life, i would have gotten tf out of there. but i am not mulder, and he keeps going on his quest to find this man.
gunman launches a sneak attack from behind a cow. which is not a bad place for a dramatic stakeout/fight scene but boy i'd hate to be there irl. and things are looking tough for mulder, who gets off his feet, only to be locked inside the building while this dude gets his lighter. he's about to drop it when...
scully walks in! with backup! she's got her gun pointed at him and he's wavering but the sheriff shoots him like 800 times. because he was the one that must have killed his son, so it was deeply personal. he's crying while doing this.
mulder stands over his body so sadly, knowing that he will never get the information he wants
scully concludes the episode by writing her case report, talking about how the kids who were infected have started getting sick. none of the kids from the church were infected, so it seems they were a control group. so in that case, the cult leader would have to have been in on this whole thing! oh, it's dramatic
but wait! if our duo had so recently eaten the infected meat, does that mean they are susceptible to aliens in their blood? and who knows who else ate the meat that was shipped out all around the country! aliens could be running rampant!
(i don't think that is actually the case- i'd have to imagine eating alien protein once is a lot different than getting it injected in you regularly for your whole life. but still. could complicate an already complicated situation. i mean, they've already endured evil cocoon bugs, exposure to that fungal virus, scully's coma... their doctors must be baffled at their medical history)
anyway, pretty good episode! i wish i could explain the joy that crossed my face when he said the line. and when they had a little rib date. oh man i needed that. that was good for me. i'll pass on meat imagery, like always, but it was interesting how they built this episode out of that one line in the s1 finale- or that they had planned it that way from the start. i didn't think we'd ever see what that whole process looked like! and it's good to get more info on our late friend deep throat. i still don't fully believe he's dead. you have to keep some suspicions on these things in sci fi.
#been years since i've eaten meat but this episode would have definitely turned me off the idea#and i think there is another meat related episode coming up#by any chance is chris carter a vegan. am i enduring subliminal messaging.#sorry my brain is still tackling rib date. rib date you are so special to me. gentle intimacy i will always love you#also her being called his wife and neither of them reacting LMAO surely they'll have to go undercover and use that excuse at some point#and i'll be sat here waiting for that very moment!#juni's x files liveblog#the x files#txf
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Finally I found a confession blog where I can be honest without fear of shame. For the last year and a few months I have been grossly attracted to Clover's visage, finding myself yearning for her ravishing eyes despite how choppy she looked. I believe, earnestly, that it comes from my childhood, where I once had a shrine dedicated to Jerma985, and Clover's old face was based off of his face. It activated something primal within me, some desire sealed off for decades. Ever since Clover's new face back in november or so, my attraction only became more and more intense. I almost got fired from my job because I couldn't stop looking at pictures of Clover and scrolling through her wiki. I spent much of my paycheck on robux, just to keep buying her floors over and over. I only did so in private servers, though, because I wanted her all to myself. It felt wrong to let other people intrude on our special moments. Feeling her chase me around sent me into a frenzy. I printed out, sheet by sheet, a 1.8 meter tall image of Clover, and have her on my wall in my bedroom. I lost my girlfriend several months ago, and one of the reasons she broke up with me and moved out of my flat was, according to her, my 'obsession' with 'such a creepy face'. She'd never understand her, of course. I don't think anyone does. Anyway, apologies for my rant. I finally feel solace now, knowing this information is out there. I do feel some shame for this, which is why I'm remaining on anon.
-🦜
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Homestuck: Beyond Canon Upd8s for June 26, 2024 and July 6, 2024
The peak of my convention season is almost over, and I'm taking a break to liveblog some Homestuck. It doesn't help that we've had two upd8s since I last checked the site. I'm also not feeling well, and I like browsing Homestuck stuff when I'm not feeling well.
When last we left off, I predicted that Calliope is using the Plot Point to influence the Candy Timeline through their connection with Roxy and her/their Void powers. If I'm right, this is the worst thing to have anywhere near a Serket. So I'm really wondering what's going on. Perhaps they think Vriska's ability to influence the narrative can give it a boost?
We don't get a news post for either of these upd8s, so we're going to jump right in!
Trippy . . . Though this seems considerably less seizure inducing than Homestuck's prior stuff. Perhaps the HICU are working on that a bit.
Okay, so I might be way off! So the Plot Point itself is the singularity at the center of the machine. The machine itself just stabilizes it, perhaps preventing it from expanding Big Bang style or sucking anything into it. And the fact it has both Calliope and Roxy's colors means they probably just worked on it together. I'm gonna go stand in the corner and turn into a sheep now.
Oh boy. Vriska is not having any patience for this . . .
Calliope said they needed authenticity, and Vriska following someone else's plan wouldn't exactly do that. Vriska would actually get as much info as she could normally though. So she thinks she has all the information she needs, she doesn't believe she can get accurate info from anyone in the Candy Timeline, or she's being affected by the Plot Point too. Possibly a combination of the three.
Either way, no we get an [S] page! Maybe this will be a substantive one.
So Vriska just got spaghettified into the Plot Point, and that seems to have changed the machine. That music was really creepy too. I'm continuing to have a bad feeling about this . . .
Oops . . . Roxy is not happy about this.
"Grumpy Exposition Creature: Exposit." lol
Oh shit! They have attracted some attention I don't think they're ready for.
Whelp! Even Dead Calliope isn't able to do much beside reveal what's going on. We've got another [S] page too.
Well this is eerily familiar . . .
Wait! That's Vriska's hive! But it's just Vriska's hive, no sign of Equius's. This has some dream bubble vibes, but it's definitely not that.
More God Tier art!
Uh oh. Ominous call back is ominous. And the narration here is driving that home even further. But what do they mean by "hungrier?" What other forces can be called into play here. The Horrorterrors perhaps? Something new? Us being hungry for more?
Yeah, I was already pretty sure this was a bad idea. Calliope might be many things, but they're not a liar.
Davepeta jumpscare!
Um . . . that's a lot of sprites . . .
Yay! Fefetasprite is here too!
Apparently this is an infurvention.
Holy crap it's SBAHJification time! I'm not gonna spoil that. You can see this masterpiece for yourself.
Okay. So the sprites seem to want to set Vriska straight. Emphasis on "seem." So why is this a bad thing? Is this simply bad from Calliope's perspective and her goal of trying to stabilize everything and end Dirk's influence on the timelines and the narrative? Is this a trap? Is this a previously unseen force or a new angle on one we know about?
So I'd previously blogged about how powerful the Plot Point could be. It is well within the realm of possibility for Vriska to be forced through a redemption arc. And there are definitely people out there that are hungry for that. As a god, this could put Vriska on the path to ascend, which might give her even more control over the narrative than Dirk.
But even with all the bullshit that's been going on in the Candy Timeline, even with the potential power of the Plot Point, even with all of Homestuck's prior ridiculous shenanigans, this feels a bit too convenient. Too contrived. Vriska, her Hive, the sprites. It all strains any kind of credibility.
And while there are people who are hungry to see Vriska redeemed, there's another outcome that I think far more people are hungry for . . .
"welcome to hell"
#live blogging#liveblogging#live blog#liveblog#homestuck 2#homestuck spoilers#hsbc#homestuck#hs#homestuck liveblog#homestuck upd8#homestuck beyond canon spoilers#homestuck beyond canon#homestuck 2 spoilers#hsupd8#hs upd8#hs spoilers#hsbcupd8#hsbc upd8#hsbc spoilers#hs2 spoilers#hs2#hs2 upd8#beyond canon#update spoilers#upd8#update#homestuck 2 upd8#upd8 spoilers
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"Welcome To My Blog!"
Hi! I unfortunately had a fart kink ever since covid hit, and I didn't even want to accept that it was something that aroused me the most. But I guess I did. I only like it if I'm on the receiving end because it's preferable and also a lot hotter to me. I don't give because I just don't want too and I don't like it. Sometimes, I'll either draw or write out my thoughts when it comes to kinky stuff because that is something I would normally do. I'm only into guy farts and guys that I classify as "pretty" and have a fat ass. I do simp for fictional characters at times but not as often as I used too. I also draw whatever so if you want to commission me, feel free to do so. I might update this at some point, but that's about all I have to say.
PLEASE DO NOT FUCKING INTERACT IF YOU ARE A MINOR, PEDO, ZOO OR LGBT-PHOBIC. YOU WILL BE BLOCKED ON SIGHT THANK YOU.
"About Me."
DOB: 02/22/04
Sexuality: Straight (Also an LGBTQ+ ally)
Main Kinks: Facesitting (Recieving), spit, choking, face slapping, edging, dirty talking / voice kink, degradation, farting (Also recieving), BDSM, teratophilia, biting, axilism, musk/sweat, pet play, size difference, whipping, hair pulling and pegging. There's more kinks on the list if you click under the "other stuff I'm into besides farts" button on the bottom of my pinned post. These are just my main courses.
Limits/Not Comfortable With: Smegma, non-con, diapers, vomit, threesomes (may make rare exceptions if there's just me and two guys but definitely not me with a guy and another girl), weight gain being used as a fetish, anything problematic really.
Dom Or Sub: Submissive for gas. Never giving and never will be.
Other Interests: Music (Metal and goth bands), stuffed animals, horror movies/thrashers, gothic/creepy things, Halloween, books, manga/anime, comics, transformers, video games, fantasy stuff, dragons, spiders, and drawing.
"A FEW THINGS..."
•As stated in my intro, I'm not comfortable with giving out my gas and I only like being on the recieving end. This is just my preference because I don't like to give nor do I want too. 😳
•I'm not into girl farts and don't get turned on by it in the slightest. (Mainly because of the fact that I'm straight. This means I am not sexually nor romantically attracted to girls.) However- I'm okay with it if it's art related! I'm even cool with being commissioned it so long as you actually pay for it!
•I know I tend to post Copro stuff because I just started getting into it (It is tagged accordingly however) but PLEASE- PLEASE DO NOT SEND ME COPRO ART OR REAL LIFE COPRO. I just got into it and I really really really would hate for the fun to be ruined because you fucks want to get creepy and gross about it. Written copro stuff is cool with me so far! Like deadass saying "I'll shit myself for u baby girl 😍" will make me not only make fun of you but also make me hella uncomfortable at the same time. Im also only into the sharting aspect and nothing more than that. LMAO
•I have gotten a few DMs from people that want to get to know me or talk to me and while I do appreciate the kind messages you guys leave me, I'll only approach you if I have interest in talking to you. If I don't respond to you, don't take it personally! I just want to put my safety and well-being first. Besides, I'm super busy with work and college. I get stressed and socially exhausted easily!
•If you also slide into my DMs just to be a creep, I'll most certainly make fun of you or block you for it. However, if you want to slide into my ask box and submit some dirty asks, you are more than welcome to do so.
"MISC."
Other kinks I'm into besides farts (*・ω・*)
My main blog
Support me by donating <3
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This may seem silly (sorry, please ignore me if you want), but something about the way I keep getting more and more TikToks talking about "how ugly Dabi is" gets on my nerves.
It just sounds ableist to me, like come on, the only reason they find him "ugly" is because he's full of burn scars if he only had a subtle one like Shoto they wouldn't be talking about it.
One of my oldest hit posts here on this blog talks about how even when these characters were fictional, you could still read all the ableism in the fandom from the way they talked about some of the LOV members.
I remember when jokes about Dabi being sooooo stinky were everywhere. When the fandom used to make fun of Tomura's unhygienic look. It's still so obvious when you think about how traditionally pretty heteromorphic characters are popular while massively important heteromorphic characters are just now getting the recognition they deserve.
Don't get me wrong, I think Hawk and Miruko are there exactly to be popular by their looks. They're drawn and written like that. It's nothing bad to love or admire them, okay? Nothing wrong with them being your favorites.
It's just that then people would ignore Spinner or Shoji. I'm happy that Shoji is more popular now and that Spinner is finally getting celebrated, but c'mon...
When it comes to Dabi, it's funny 'cause Horikoshi wants the readers to perceive him as handsome. You know it by the poses and certain highlights. He's also meant to look "creepy" because he's a villain! He should be scary, even uncomfortable to look at. Unnerving in the way your brain knows he should be falling apart, right?
But ugly???
We could have a conversation about real life beauty standards or bnha beauty standards, you know. I don't think it's necessary tho, since we all pretty much know that scars are portrayed as "attractive" as long as they are placed to please the eye and not depicted as something that is gonna make you uncomfortable because they are past wounds after all.
Everyone is entitled to their opinions, I guess, but it also bothers me when people would so easily joke about a character's beauty just to reinforce beauty stereotypes... It doesn't surprise me, when certain sides of TikTok are full of narrow-minded people...
Ugliness is 100% subjective and based on what people find attractive or not, anyway. I just hope you never see the "ugh Dabi is so gross looking" side of those arguments.
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any ace spicy bylers out there?
I just saw someone saying that sexual attraction is possible for asexual people and can go like this:
'For me, it’s not really desire, but a knee- jerk reaction that I can’t control and don’t want.
My body has a mind of its own; oftentimes, my hormone-ridden brain sees something that it likes, but it’s not necessarily something that I, as an asexual person, like. It usually happens when I watch tv shows, as I don’t really get stimulated by real-world people.
Basically, my evolutionary instinct screams at me that this person I’ve seen would make a good mate, but I personally feel no sexual attraction towards them. I don’t get overwhelmed by how attractive they are, want to have sex with them, or fantasize about them. Whatever it is doesn’t last more than a second or two.
All there is to this not-desire is a fleeting moment of my body experiencing arousal, my asexual mind saying “Nope,” and then I return to whatever I was doing before, which is why I don’t think it really counts.'
can someone explain this cos it sounds to me like people are confusing the meaning of sexual desire and attraction to be something anyone controls. like, having a desire for something doesnt necessarily mean you want to want it, but rather that your body or mind simply wants it. like, desire is wanting of the first order. hopefully you are at peace with the desire (you want to want) as it makes life easier. but often, you aren't (you don't want to want = internal conflict).
it sounds like the person above is simply deeply repressed for whatever reason - there is sexual desire in their body, but they actively dont want or repress it. how can this be asexuality when some form of sexuality is present? their definition also implies that sexual people never have desires or attractions they are uncomfortable with or don't want or are confused by, which isnt true!
Please note that the purpose of this blog is not to be creepy or to make anyone uncomfortable. That's why I created the #spicy byler tag (I will tag all polls with this). If you don't want to see this blog or anything related to it on your feed, please block that tag. Not everyone is comfortable with this sorta stuff, and that's okay.
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I find it very weird how so many people on Tumblr nowadays are like "age in bio or I block you" and it makes me wonder if these people have any experience living as an adult in the real world. These people never explain the rationale behind their demands.
Like 99% of the places I go it would be considered rude, socially awkward, and sometimes even creepy to ask another person their age, especially an adult. People can be touchy about age for a variety of reasons, most of which come down to some type of discrimination or bias which can go both for being old or being young.
Businesses or other organizations with legal cutoffs for age or other valid reasons to know a person's age will do so discreetly and only when needed. Most of the time the business doesn't even know or record the person's age, they just want to check whether or not it is over some sort of legal limit, like 21 for purchasing alcohol or 18 for a lot of other things, or older or younger cutoffs for a few other things. (Related: I'm fine with people saying their blog is for 18+ and they are 18+, or similarly, if minors say they don't want to interact with people 18+. There are good reasons for people posting about certain topics to want such restrictions and that's not what this post is about!)
Age can also be a sensitive topic for trans and gender-nonconforming people. We trans people often have a more complex relationship to age, especially people who pursue HRT but even those who don't, often experience a "second puberty" where we go through changes including both physical changes and social / mental / lifestyle changes that involve exploring various aspects of life and gender-expression, and we often do this a lot later for the gender we identify as, than our cis counterparts do. Gender also affects how people see us, like I notice that people often think I am younger than I am because of "feminine" presentation choices that I make, and this is less likely when I present more masculinely (such as if I don't shave my face), and I've noticed that people with more strongly pronounced sex characteristics (like facial hair, a deep voice, or a curvy build with big breasts and hips) are often seen as older than they are, especially in their younger years, whereas people with more androgynous builds and features are more likely to be read as younger. I've repeatedly had people tell me I'm lying about my age when I am being 100% honest, so it's like, displaying my age sometimes opens me up to negativity and harassment from people who think I'm lying. So again, all of this can be sensitive for us trans and GNC people, so demanding ages is likely to bring up more sense of weirdness and conflict for trans people, especially since a lot of us have people read our ages very wrong, just based on how we look, and because also people can judge us for "age inappropriate" behaviors as adults, which interacts with how we trans people are often viewed as "creepy". So demanding ages in bios is going to be harder on trans people and thus comes across as somewhat anti-trans and cisnormative, especially when it comes from cis people who show no understanding of trans people's issues. And I've noticed these are most of the people demanding ages in bios.
There are also other reasons not to want to share your age. People under 18, or even younger (or much older) people who are over 18, also might not want to advertise their age because it might attract predatory behavior or other unwanted attention. Younger and elderly people alike are often targetted with scams. And in general, age is yet one more potentially valuable piece of personal data that scammers are interested in collecting so it's not a good idea to just put it out in plain view on the internet for any stranger to be able to see and collect.
Demanding ages in bios is also totally unnecessary and doesn't seem to have any benefits. Tumblr already has built-in measures for marking content and/or blogs as NSFW. Anyone can lie about their age so demanding people put ages in their bio does nothing and may even create a false sense of security surrounding interactions where a person's age is relevant.
Also, so many people will update their bio once and then never change it. Like one person I follow, whose blog is very active, has had the same age listed in their bio for like 7 years, so the figures shown are often wrong just out of sheer negligence. And this is okay, like I'm not gonna run around policing people like "You have to update your blog bio or I'm gonna unfollow you!" what kind of uptight authoritarian bullshit would that be?
And like what are people even expecting to accomplish with this sort of demand? I just don't get it.
Here's how I think about ages in bio:
I don't care whether or not you put it there.
If I don't know you, I'm gonna take whatever number you put there with a grain of salt because I know you could be deliberately lying, or just never updating your bio.
Even if I trust your listed age is accurate, I don't really want to think about it very much. Ageism is a thing and people can have biases both against younger and against older people. I want to see everyone the way they are, not based on my preconceived notions about them. Things like maturity, wisdom, naivety, immaturity, experience or inexperience, will speak for themselves and manifest in different ways, and I want to focus on who you are and what you say and do, not some number that gives me an impression of how you "should" think at your age. If you have the maturity of a middle-schooler, I don't care if you're 55 I'm not gonna give your perspective special treatment. If you have something intelligent to say or some deep insight, and the idea speaks for itself, I'm gonna listen to you no matter how young (or old) you are.
If you demand ages in bios it makes me conclude you are probably not someone who is safe for me to interact with, even if you theoretically would want to interact with me (which you probably don't because I have never put my age in my bio.) As someone who has experienced sometimes severe ageism both for people judging me for being too young, or too old, in certain situations, it tells me you are out-of-touch with IRL social norms and are willing to impose new norms that 99% of people would find rude, and that you're probably the kind of person who would make negative or untruthful snap judgments about me for all sorts of reasons, probably not just age, and therefore that I don't want to interact with.
So yeah. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.s
#age in bio#its weird#tumblr etiquette#maturity#immaturity#age#ageism#trans#transphobia#second puberty#age discrimination#respect#honesty#tumblr#social norms#weird social norms#where are people taught to be like this?#it makes no sense#i don't understand people sometimes
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I don't have any aspec friends, so I'm often left in my own ballpark when they bring up romance. This blog feels very comforting, possibly having a place to speak my mind. I have too many thoughts, but I don't really want to word-dump...
Romance is weird and I find it kind of creepy how much time, thought, and energy people will put into what seems more like a label than it's own thing. The fact I can't feel romantic attraction clouds my judgement, but the only thing different I can see when it comes to "romance" is how unsettlingly infatuated people become, or how dependent they are on the relationship for things like validation or fulfillment...
People have told me I am "missing out" not being able to feel romantic attraction, but I'd have to ask them why I'd even want to be infatuated with other people like that to begin with? You can find fulfillment/happiness/validation in other ways that don't involve somebody(ies) living in your head rent free? You can have people you trust and love deeply without it being under a romantic lens???
I have so many more thoughts, but I won't flood anything more than I have. Feelings are so complicated though, and romance in real-life scenarios is annoying and nauseating to me, haha. I guess it's just like that sometimes, and trying to solve impossible problems won't get me anywhere.
Glad you find comfort in this space!
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hello. i know that this is not a help blog (feel free to delete this ask) but i need help and i don't know where else to go.
i am barely old enough to be on the internet, and it can be argued that i am too young to know whether i am ace, but the thought of puberty (as in increasing libido and beginning to feel sexual attraction and/or romance) horrified and disgusts me. i tried asking my mom for advice, but all she would say was that i was too young to know.
i don't want to be a late bloomer. i don't want to bloom at all. i'm terrified that puberty will turn me into something that isn't me. i cannot stress how genuinely horrifying sexual attraction and libido are to me. i don't know how i would cope if i felt either of them.
i just. even if you don't want to answer this ask, could you just say something like "hey anon, you know who you are, x could probably help you". please
Okay, first thing's first stay safe on the internet. Anyways I don't believe in telling people they're too young to know if they're ace but I do think it's probably easier to know if you're ace or not once you've hit puberty
Now as someone who's gone through puberty, one thing I can assure you of is that it doesn't just creep up on you and get you all of a sudden, for the most part the changes occur slowly and steadily. A lot of it is pretty uncomfortable and feels gross but that's mostly cause as a kid you're kind of taught that bodies are taboo when really that's just how we're put together. Having a body is gross sometimes and that's okay. As for libido and sexual attraction, I think it's best to take it slow and learn about it from a safe source. I know sex ed is flimsy in most schools and I was unfortunate enough to learn about sex through the internet which lead to a lot of confusion so I recommend asking a trustworthy adult that you feel safe with to explain things to you. If that's not an option, there's probably some good sources online or in your local library. Understanding sexuality can make it a lot less scary
I don't know if you're ace or not. If the idea of sex makes you uncomfortable as of now, it could be cause you're still very young. Regardless of what the case is, you don't have to rush into it. Your safety is important and I should warn you that the internet is a scary place and finding porn is way too easy, and being exposed to that stuff at a young age can seriously mess with your brain chemistry. If you do end up experiencing sexual attraction, the most important thing is to explore it safely. Don't interact with people in NSFW spaces on the internet, if you reeeally want to look at that stuff, only lurk. There's a lot of creeps online and any adult who isn't a creep will tell you to stay out of these online spaces for the sake of your own safety. Same goes for reading fanfic. No one can really stop you from reading it if you want to read it but the 18+ warning is there for a reason. As for actually having sex, only do it once you know you're ready and with someone you really do like. And if you are ace after all, I recommend taking the time to learn about the identity so you can understand yourself better.
I should also mention that having a libido is something that can happen even if you do turn out to be asexual. This is because if someone's a mammal with all their parts in tact they'll come equipped with a reproductive system and all it's functions, regardless of whether or not they want to use it. So don't be alarmed if you feel stuff even though you don't really want to do anything about it, it might feel uncomfortable but that's mother nature for you.
I hope I could make this whole ordeal a bit less intimidating for you, apologies if I sound condescending at times, I'm just trying to talk about things without being creepy (at the end of the day I am still a stranger)
If anyone in the audience has some good resources that could be helpful for youngsters, it'd be greatly appreciated
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tbh I'll say it. I don't think fat fetishes are a big deal on their own. however. it is still a Sex Thing & should be treated as such, and when like, boundaries are broken & fetish stuff runs into completely unrelated fat stuff it Sucks Really Bad. you ARE being weird with that.
& I also think a lot of people run into confusion where they're like "okay so all appreciation or attraction to fat people is a Specific Sex Thing, so we should stay away from it?" nope! buzzer sound. being attracted to fat people IS normal, broadly, but some people still also have specific related kinks/fetishes. both kind of exist simultaneously despite being a little different.
"but how can you tell the difference?" if you can't, it doesn't really matter, tbh. if you can, though, and it's inappropriate and creepy (especially towards other fat ppl who DO NOT want anything to do with that) that is wrong and super fucked up. unfortunately, this requires respect and nuance and thought, and most internet users have not heard of such things, especially regarding sexual comments.
it's like, listen.....if somebody's interacting with regular fat artwork or posts or whatever with their kink blog or saying weird shit, it's no different to me than a creepy guy approaching a lady at the store and asking her to take her shoes off so he can see her "beautiful feet" (sorry foot fetishists for using you to make my point, but it's something I've seen happen irl- and the point is, it's the behavior that's fucked, not necessarily what it's about specifically if that makes sense).
I also do believe it's such a big topic because anything surrounding fatness is taboo rn, sexual or not, god knows the hate mail I get for saying things as controversial as "maybe being fat is ok actually?" (Which recently I've given some glimpses into....) so it makes sense opinion is pretty divided here, since this is kind of a tricky subject.....
from what I've seen, my opinion tends to be "the fetish itself is just a fetish but it can be used to (sexually) harass fat people".
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