#((Yet another first draft thingie))

[educatedsimps]

Heyo! Quick request here because my FYP wants to make me suffer with all the Bokuto angst I’ve been seeing related to different fics (like in another life, ect). WHY DO FANFIC AUTHORS KEEP KILLING HIM OFF??? ITS DRIVING ME NUTS 😭😭 Anyway, I’d like to request some fluff with Bokuto to counteract the angst I’ve been seeing. Maybe the reader wakes up from a nightmare similar to what’s been going on in these fics and he cheers her up by being his normal happy self? Take that my FYP hahaha

(I love your writing btw! I literally pause whatever I’m doing to read anything you’ve posted! You’re my fav author on this website <3)

≪ back to fics masterlist

bokuto kōtarō x f!reader

a/n: nah bro in another life fucking broke me 🥲 i read it in like 2021 (i think??) and that angst still haunts me to this very day 😀 anyway ofc bae i literally had a fic with this nightmare/comfort idea in my google keep drafts for the LONGEST time so it's time to finally put it out there lol. ALSO I'M SO GLAD U LIKE OUR WORKS omg "favourite author"??? MY HEART ✋😭 TY FOR READING ANON ILYSM 😭💕 hope u enjoy this bae and thanku for requesting, it was truly a joy writing this!

cw: idk man just bokuto fluff and comfort typa thing cuz he’s bokuto and the B in bokuto stands for best boyfriend (b)ever

"so he’s killed in the straight aus and sent back to be with akaashi cause we will nvr recover from in another life" -yves 2024

Jolting awake, you felt fresh tears rolling past your cheeks and staining your pillow. Eyes wide, you scanned your surroundings. Same room, same bed, same pyjamas...

Was that all a dream? But... It had felt so terrifyingly real that you had woken up in a cold sweat with ugly tears streaming down your face. Heart palpitating, you tried to regulate your breathing and convinced yourself that it was just a dream.

Feeling a warm breath brush the back of your neck, you turned to see your boyfriend, Bokuto Kōtarō, sleeping soundly next to you. His breaths were slow and deep, and you watched as his bare chest rose and fell. With a beefy arm slung over your waist, he held you close to him throughout the night, keeping you warm. The dim moonlight from your window illuminated his features and his face looked so peaceful (and beautiful) you couldn't help but stare.

Breathing a sigh of relief, you soaked up the warmth radiating from his body. Not wanting to wake him, you furiously wiped the tears from your cheeks and tried to quiet your sobs.

Unfortunately for you, Bokuto's hearing was as sharp as an owl's, and he stirred with a groggy "Y/n?"

A sniffle.

He jerked his head up to look at you clearly. Your head was buried in his chest. "Y/n?"

Another sniffle. He was starting to panic.

"Babe! Babe, what happened?" He asked softly, placing a hand under your chin and tilting your head up. He swore he heard his heart go crack when he saw your tears. You responded by burying your face in his neck again.

Realising you probably weren't ready to talk just yet, he decided to distract you first. Pulling your trembling body to his, he gently rubbed circles on your back and pressed a sweet kiss to your temple.

He hummed, "You know, I was thinking the other day. Maybe we could install a small spinning light thingy in the corner of our room so it's not so dark at night. I know you don't really like it when it's pitch black in the room sooo I figured maybe that could help! I was scrolling online and saw some designs I thought you'd like, but I forgot to copy the link to send it to you but I can look for it again and show it to you later-"

He paused abruptly when you raised your head, sitting up and looking at him with a half-smile on your face.

"You okay?" He asked, concern taking over his features. He shifted so that you both were half sitting with your legs still tangled under the blanket. "Wanna talk about it?"

With yet another sniffle, you nodded. As you recounted your nightmare, Bokuto continued rubbing your arm soothingly, occasionally wiping away your tears with his thumb. His head was tilted to the side in the most adorable fashion and his eyes were fully focused on you as you spoke.

"And... and then you died," You whispered, voice hoarse and shaky. Looking into his bright amber eyes, you continued. "It was so scary, Kō..."

"But I’m right here, aren’t I?" He asked almost immediately. Bending down to your eye level, he looked at you with such a pure and genuine smile. Your heart beat faster under his gaze.

"And I’m gonna be right here forever. I’ll be here when you wake up from bad dreams and good dreams, and I’ll be here on the nights you can’t fall asleep. I’ll be your protector, Y/n!” He continued, beaming. He swiftly placed a kiss on your forehead. “I’ll protect you from all the nightmares, I promise! And see? I’m totally fine! Those killers ain't got nothing on us. I won’t let ‘em touch my baby.”

He concluded his little cheer-up speech with a sweet kiss on your lips. His hand brushed your jaw, pulling you closer. If you weren’t seated firmly on the bed, your knees probably would’ve given out from how sweet the kiss was. Either that or you would’ve gotten severe cavities before the kiss ended.

Pulling away, he wrapped you up in his arms and you felt your lips pull into a smile. His cheery mood really was contagious.

Gently pushing you into a lying position, he grabbed the blanket and pulled it over your bodies, essentially bundling the two of you together.

“Time to get some sleep, babe. I’ll be right here, ‘kay?” He said, now hugging you under the covers. You hummed, feeling safe and content.

“Oh yeah, we should definitely get a spinning light thingy. It might help with the nightmares ‘cause it won’t be as dark,” you piped up. Chuckling, Bokuto agreed.

“I love you,” he whispered, closing his eyes.

“I love you more,” you yawned.

“I love you the most-est!”

You felt another kiss on the crown of your head before you drifted off to sleep.

a/n: UMMM i hope this was nightmarish/comfort/cheery enough?? IDK IM SORRY IF IT DIDNT MEET THE REQUIREMENTS 😭 but still, tysm for requesting and thanku for reading too!! hope u liked it :,) (feel free to request another part if you’re not satisfied)

© educatedsimps 2024. do not repost, copy, translate or plagiarise any work from this blog on tumblr or any other platforms. if you do, the simps will hunt you down. likes and reblogs are appreciated!

[rillils]

how do explain stucky from the moment they met to where they are now (together in each others arms) to my friend who knows nothing about marvel

ohh this is a tough one, honey! i think i've got two options for you:

the short answer:

stucky is a compendium of all the best tropes out there, and i'm sure i'm gonna miss a few:

soulmates? check! star-crossed lovers? check! battle husbands? super check! mutual pining? check! 'and they were roommates'? check! best friends to lovers? check check check! long-lost lover comes back from the dead? fuck yeah, check! temporary amnesia? check! dude in distress trope? check! 'they will always find each other and choose each other in every lifetime'? also check! identity porn? extra check! saved by the power of love? you guessed it: check! slow burn or childhood sweethearts? you decide!!! did they share their first kiss when steve was 16, as per a popular fanon theory? did they only confess their feelings during the war? did they only get together much later, when bucky was healing in wakanda? you can pick literally ANY point in their timeline, and it will still make sense! they're all equally valid! you can even have multiple different headcanons at once, i mean who's gonna stop you??? all you have to do is join in the fun! 💕

the long AF answer, aka:

STEVE & BUCKY'S LOVE STORY, UNABRIDGED SOMEWHAT ABRIDGED, part 1/3

all right, let's set the scene:

imagine two young kids, let's call them steve and bucky. they meet, they immediately take to each other, they become instant besties! and as they grow up together, facing many hardships, their bond deepens. not only are they best friends; they are also each other's family. they take care of each other, and they both know they can always rely on one another in times of need.

when steve's mom (and only remaining relative) passes away, bucky reminds him that he's not as alone in this world as he thinks he is: bucky will always be by his side. bucky will always love him unconditionally, will always be there for him, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, for richer and for poorer, and he wants steve to know that.

in fact, he asks steve to move in with him, thus offering steve both a literal and a metaphorical home.

and steve says yes!

SO. they are each other's home, they're living together, they're getting by all right. but then war breaks out, and eventually it reaches their little home as well: bucky is drafted, and steve, due to his many health issues, and despite his best intentions, can't follow the boy he loves onto the battlefield.

it's a very difficult time for them both - so much so that they can't even bring themselves to talk about it.

they have no choice but to say goodbye for now, knowing that they might never see each other again. but here's something you might not know yet about steve: he's the most reckless, most stubborn fucker america's ever seen. he's not gonna let this stop him!!! instead, he goes and gets a very sweet, kindly scientist to fucking experiment on him, because screw it, he's going to fight in this war if it's the last thing he does. and that's how he goes from Smol Steeb to Lorge Premium Steeb.

of course, things don't go exactly as he predicted, and steve is made to be the star of a war propaganda-fuelled musical kinda thingie, which he resents (but he looks fucking precious in his costume)

BUT! he does get closer to the actual battlefield. which is where he discovers that bucky has been captured by the enemy (!!!!!!!) and is most likely dead by now. but steve isn't willing to give up so easily! he'll believe bucky's dead when he sees it with his own eyes. so, he embarks on this suicide solo mission in the attempt to get bucky back, even if it means wandering on his own. into enemy territory. where he would be shot. on. sight. with no protection for his dumb ass except for a bunch of theater props!!! but such is the power of love, y'all.

against all odds, steve finds bucky very much still alive! and as soon as bucky recognizes him, even as confused as he is, he pulls out this beautiful, ecstatic, angelic-ass smile, like he's just seen god or he got high on some real good edibles or maybe both idk, like my man here was having a serious Religious Experience™ you guys

and i just wanna say, they could have totally kissed here and it would have made plenty of sense. but that's true of like 90% of their scenes in this franchise, so *shrugs*

ANYWAY steve takes bucky in his arms (well technically yes he does) and brings him to safety, and on their way there, bucky proves once more just how hard he meant that "with you til the end of the line" from before

afterwards, steve is finally given the chance to fight, just like he wanted.

bucky, on the other hand, could very well leave the war behind and go home; but when he learns that steve is staying, he chooses to stay too, and fight by his side. and he tells steve so in this very intimate, softspoken, delightfully suggestive conversation, which can be summed up like this:

and so they walk right back into the heart of the fight, only this time together, as they were always meant to be!

but. during an especially tricky mission, they're surprised by the enemy, and as a result, bucky falls to his death into a deep ravine.

steve is devastated. overwhelmed with guilt, grief and rage, he vows to bring down the people responsible for his loss, even if it costs him his own life.

and um, it kind of does? cost him his own life?

victorious after his last vis-a-vis with The Antagonist™, steve still chooses to sacrifice himself to prevent the catastrophe set into motion by the aforementioned Antagonist™. he's flying a jet over the frosty expanse of the atlantic, and you know, from the outside, you could easily argue that he could try to save himself. if he really wanted to. but with bucky dead, and the people responsible for all this pain, either dead or captured, it seems like all the will to fight is gone from steve; and so he plunges the jet straight into the ocean, and himself with it.

is this the end of their story?, you might ask.

the answer is: of course not!!!! the best is yet to come, babes!!!

EDIT: here is part 2

[lightthemaskedone]

Edit: OML I DIDNT MEAN TO POST THIS I meant to save this to drafts 😭 Alr Im gonna add some things

The new UrbanSPOOK episode sure was something huh? I wanna talk about a few things (there's a lot so bear with me)

SPOILERS AHEAD FOR URBANSPOOK: HELL (don't worry I wont display any of the paintings or images from the episodes)

First thing I wanna talk about is Mona and Bill eating some of their victims. I actually had this theory at some point that they were eating people because of Sean. His painting was "The Man In The Pipes", so at first I assumed he was stuffed down a pipe in the home, but then FAMILY was uploaded, alongside the painting of the supposed fetus shoved down Paul's throat. Im too lazy to check, but if I remember right, the painting's name was scribbled out except for the word "pipe" or something like that. I know pipe was in there at some point. Maybe the pipes Sean's painting was referring to was their esophagus, since the fetus's painting was referring to Paul's windpipe bc that's how he died. Plus, Sean's painting has more red than anything, just like the fetus painting did. We've seen the painter (Mona or Bill, whoever is making the paintings...probably Mona) would most likely have drawn out the pipe since she LOVES her detail in paintings.

Next thing is how much better this episode was compared to previous ones. The only bad thing in the new episode was the bucket, but besides that there weren't really any bad themes. I watched the new episode through Baz's reaction video, and he even showed a screenshot of Urban saying he would make this and episode 10 better than the previous episodes, so good on him!! And the new episode wasn't just theme-wise better, it was VISUALLY better too. The video footage style was amazing, and don't get me started on the last part where they went into Tina's house for the wellness check and caught the killers. Also major props to Tina's voice actress in this, she did AMAZING. She screamed her heart out at the last part, good lord 😭

A smaller part, but I wanna mention how this episode had one of the scariest parts yet I've seen in the whole series. At the end of the episode where Mona has her hands raised because of the cop, she's just...standing there. Neither of them speak after a moment, and the only sound is Tina's screams. Then a distorted smile can be seen on the screen...Mona is just staring at the cop with a smile. She doesn't care that Bill is dead. She doesn't care about Tina's screams. She's smiling like she didnt do anything. And she isnt moving a single muscle. That smile is the last thing Tina ever saw. Mona is happy and has no regrets.

Another thing I want to mention is how Bill Collins was one of the killers. We already knew that because of the morse code thingy from PIGS, but that raises some questions. 1: Where the hell is Jack Stryker?? For those who don't know, Im talking about Tina's boyfriend from WITNESS that randomly went missing while Tina and Flora were getting attacked. He had a painting, so he's probably dead and/or the painters ate him. 2: Who was the fourth/third face in the Collin's photo montage? In LIGHTHOUSE, we find out Bill Collins went missing, his family was found dead yada yada. I don't remember if Bill Collin's had three or four other family members, but ther was another photo amongst the others that probably shouldn't have been there. The baby was dead, yes, but she was found in the attic and not in the mush barrel with the rest of her family. Which means one of those photos is probably not Bill and another victim maybe?? 3: What's his motive? Clearly he had to have snapped or something to go kill a bunch of people. He's probably the reason all the cops and investigators related to the case died (Sean, Sarah, Ian, etc). As we've seen, Bill acted in a feral-like state while working with Mona, him barking while helping her in the murders and roaring at the cop in the video footage before being shot. So what exactly is his motive?? Maybe Mona will say in episode 10 during the trial or we'll just never know. I will say this, when it showed his human picture in LIGHTHOUSE after stating he went missing, it was the only photo that didnt look...real. It looked more like a drawing than an actual photo like all the other ones. Bill was clearly as dangerous as Mona, but why did he decide to work with Mona, especially after his family died? Maybe it was a last resort and Mona agreed to it? (but they probably teamed up with Fred too to get drugs from him, but we all saw how that turned out) So why did Mona decide to let Bill work with her, and why did Bill want to work with Mona? I really wanna know this in episode ten.

There are a few things Im still wondering. We don't know how some of the victims died and Im actually REALLY curious about that. Ian, Jimmy (who I think may be the fourth photo found by the Collin's flesh barrel), Sean (yeah I said earlier I predicted they ate him but we don't know how he died), the two girls in the lighthouse (I forgot their names but Im too lazy to check 🤯), and some of the victims found in the new episode inside of the Paint Factory. Maybe Mona will reveal how she killed them?? Maybe not?? Idk I guess we just have to wait for it to play out

That's all I really have to say. Oogily boogily 🤯🤯🤯

[stawpny]

take a deep dive with me into my drafted ficccss!!!

1: NY/TX/CA

I was obsessed with this ship, and this fic is almost 4000 words long 😭

it was so much time wasted

it’s plot is weird, and it’s like my first official WTTT fic

I honestly kinda like it ngl

2: CA/NY

it’s a NE brothers and CA fic where they go shopping

it’s okay, but it’s unfinished and it just makes me feel… eugh

Y’know?

3: another CA/NY

honestly, it’s not bad, but I don’t really like writing in 1st person

but anyways, if I would finish any of these, it would be this one

it’s oblivious California this time‼️

4: York’s children thingy

it features some of his kids, but I stopped writing it because it had literally no plot 😭

no theme, nothing

it sucks, but I might rewrite it, idk tho

5: my version of NYC at the table

it’s something… uhm yeah

it’s okay, I just think I got uninterested in it and just gave up

6: CA/NY yet again

CA claims he never had hot chocolate, so York goes out with him for Hot chocolate

I have no clue why I stopped writing it, but whatever

it’s really fluffy, but it doesn’t make sense how Cal hasn’t had Hot chocolate, so if I was to rewrite, I would make it something different

7: TX/NY

they go out to Boston, Texas is cold, it is late autumn

it’s okay, but again, there’s NOTHING TO IT AHANSGSMMAMA

—

I am picky, but maybe that’s a good thing

they all are somewhat okay ideas, I just wrote it terribly

and that’s my bad

so.. if you would want me to rewrite any of these, which one would it be?

lemme know!!

and if u wanna rewrite it, have fun! (u don’t have to credit me, unless you want to)

ily guys <3

[awrkive]

hellooo! i love your work and how articulate you are when writing!! i was wondering if you had any tips or advice for someone who wants to start making fics & how to build a following? 🩷

(this got unintentionally long im so sosrry for yapping anon!)

ON WRITING:

in all honesty, just write and write!! i've written so much stuff starting when i was like 12. when i go back to my past works (ranging from fanfics to nonfanfics), i always cringe so hard cos theyre soooo soooo bad 😭😭 when you write a lot over the years, you're eventually going to see improvements.

also, i think finding your writing style really helps a lot! there are writers whose works are prose-heavy, those whose signature is purple prose, and those who write very simply. i fall under the last category 🤓

another thing is that, find the genre that you think is ur strength and make it a part of your branding(?). some are famous for their fluffy works, some are famous for their angsty fics, and some are famous for their smut. obv, you can mix all of those stuff but theres always something ur better at, and i think its good to lean towards that and leverage on it.

when you do get to writing, i think its important to take into consideration researching what youre gonna write about. it doesnt need to be extensive at all, surface-level research goes a long way!! i have to look up a lot of things while writing nb cos im obv not in tech nor an accountant nor do i habe chaebol friends or live in sk and my life generally is very far from theirs ijbol. it sometimes annoy me when i get to a part that needs some researching, but u really dont want to make it obvious to your audience that u dont know about this particular thing HAHAHA (you can put disclaimer anyway, jic)

the choice of pov is also really important!! i tend to avoid fics that are written in first person, so naturally, i don't write that way. i do think though its kinda common consensus for almost everybody. but its also just a personal preference. i dont think i've read anything thats in first person yet, but im sure my pre conceived notion about it has hindered me from finding a gem written in first person. at the end of the day, it all boils down to how well you write your stuff!!

one last thing; edit your work! your first draft doesnt necessarily have to be the final product. go over your paragraphs to improve some of the phrasing and stuff

ON BUILDING A FOLLOWING (TUMBLR)

i dont exactly have a big following on here lol but here's what (i think i did) to gain enough:

making your blog pretty-looking really helps a lot!! thats what i did when i first started writing on tumblr. make a mlist, navi page, etc. theres a lot of tumblr tutorials accessible on the internet so its not very hard

this could also be under the "making your blog pretty" thing but editing a landscape banner for your story can attract viewers 🩷 (or even those moodboard thingies) (ok i lied its more like a personal experience 😭😭 but i really think it contributes a lil something)

when you post, put it under the right tags to really hit your target audience. the tagging system was really messed up on here a few years back, but i think its better nowadays, so better take advantage of that

be responsive to comments and reblogs and asks! talk to your readers!!

and again, just write and write. the more active you are, the more you post your works, the more traction u get

thats all!! sorry this is so long KWNDKSKWJJD. THANK YOU FOR THE COMPLIMNET ON MY WRITING IT MEANS A LOT 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

[hana-the-ghostieee]

a lot of ideas infest my brain but this one is pretty new! partially because recently i've been getting into more popular vocaloid songs (mou ikkai! mou ikkai! "watashi wa kyou mo korogarimasu." to shoujo wa iu, shoujo wa iu) and po pi po. has taken me in (mwehehe!!!)

so imma just write yet another 2dmv (this is more of a draft than anything tho soooo. no cool sections with specific vocal lines)

so mhm! for april fools this year how about we torture rui >:333

(except it isn't we cuz i'm sure "we" aren't like. sega or colorful palette's project sekai team)

as always because this thing is going to be long, you're welcome mobile users blah blooh bleh, i puteth the stuff under the cut so go check it out if you want

hold on imma title it and everything though i haven't fleshed out really specific parts

Po Pi Po - LamazeP (ft. Miku Hatsune, Emu Otori, Nene Kusanagi)

anyways! we torture rui >:DDD

so! for the 2dmv! it's in the style of a 3dmv with like a general stage-y dancey area and blah

yes. we torture rui. that. that's like all there is.

emu, nene and miku are all in slightly altered green workout project diva (?) outfits with different details and stuff i guess (but they all have to match cuz cohesive set thingy.)

so from the beginning of the song to around the end of the first chorus we're in the wondershow sekai, with rui sat at a table, refusing to eat his vegetable filled bentou. nuh-uh. no way in bahooey. and emu, miku and nene are just walking around him as. the po pi po cult, tryna get him to eat his food. oh also meiko rin len and luka have rui at tazer-point so if he ever tries to run off he'd probably go bbbrzrzZRRZRZRZBZRZBZRZBRZRZRZBZBRZRBZRBZRZZZZZZ (yes, in bold)

and then around after the first chorus, kaito leads tsukasa to the main area and he's like. what's going on. and then he sees the table, rui and the vegetable-filled bentou. ohhhhhhhhhhhh. but instead of joining the po pi po cult he goes sits at the table with rui and tries to coax him into actually eating his vegetables.

(for the whole thing the camera focuses on the po pi po cult, but from here rui and tsukasa argue in the back. like look. "but they taste disgusting!" "but they're good for you!" "have you even felt the texture of those disgusting things?" "just eat it TwT" "let's kiss" "sur... sTOP DISTRACTING ME")

and yeah after that exchange of dialogue we focus on more po pi po cult!! in the choruses there's going to be. flying vegetables and like vegetable juice carton box thingy cutouts cuz we have to push the theme or something

and po pi po cult is surrounding the oddballs (mainly 2) and yk. pushing him to eat the vegetables.

and then around the second chorus in the back tsukasa goes "*sigh* okay fine. if i kiss you will you eat your vegetables?" but rui only heard kiss so they go at it (woo.)

but then but then!! (for some reason i feel like he sounds like nene here if she wasn't part of the po pi po cult) near the end, (a very flustered, tomato-red) tsukasa's like "okay. now eat your vegetables." "eh?!" "what eh. that was the deal." "there was a deal?!?" "stop playing dumb =w= eat your vegetables before i take these chopsticks and feed you myself." "waa~, you're going to feed me? kasa, you're such a romantic~" "...mhm... *looks at vegetable-filled bentou*"

"YOU'RE GOING TO FEED ME THESE VEGETABLES?!?!?"

"if i must."

"BETRAYAAAL."

and then at the very end we see a (chibi?) rui with tears streaming down his face, mouth full of lettuce.

(for him this is torture of the highest degree.)

yeah i sent this to a friend on discord they were mainly focusing on the gay scrunkles

no literally they just went. "*le gasp* GAYS AWWWW GAYS I LOVE GAYS <3333 THEY'RE SUPER SILLY I LOVE THEM :DDD" dude i also made an entire cult of three people to feed vegetables to one person with purple hair and a soda candy addiction so. please focus on that too

[devflamme]

i just love this idea i had of "agatha sang in clubs/parties when she was younger and had to earn money to survive because 💲capitalism is now something that controls the world and she cant live in the forest anymore💲" and i had to write a scenario for my fic where agatha allows that wanda enters her mind and sees some of her memories. the first one being young!agatha singing jazz in a club (and wanda almost dying because... its agatha. singing.)

this fic is not finished (YET! i want to finish it but its not going to happen soon because im a member of society and i have to work and do things) and this is just a little thingy i had to write to not forget everything i just thought about. i wrote this (and more! the full draft has 1,3k+ words 😁) yesterday in like, 30 minutes or less???

another thing i love about this is that agatha is willing to show her memories. she trusts wanda now for her to do this. they both trust each other. and this is such an important thing for me because that's a line that happens near the start of the fic that goes "i can't trust you. we can't trust each other." and NOW THEY TRUST EACH OTHER. i love couple development 🥺🩷

theyre now soft, your honor, and i could spend HOURS talking about my own fanfiction.

[baura-bear]

HEY POOKIE BEAR !! HOW ARE YOU!!! was diggin through my drafts and i found this cowboy au thingy.. it was my own interpretation of how jack and davey possibly met but then you posted your version and i just fell in love with it and didn't pay much mind to my draft.. however i think it's pretty fun so here it is :3

Dear Mama,

All is fine. Sarah and I started working at a local store–I work at the register, she stocks the shelves. (If she isn’t slacking off, that is…) I haven’t met anyone interesting yet. To be fair, the folks here aren’t very fond of newcomers, but that’s to be expected from a small town out West.

Well, I suppose that’s all for now. I’ll write often, as I promised. Do tell me how you and Papa are coping with your eldest children gone.

Love,

David

*

David glanced at his pocket watch for what seemed like the hundredth time this hour, and he sighed dramatically. Sarah was late to work. Again. And the shelves weren’t going to magically fill up with all the goods.

“I swear to God, I’m taking her salary when we get paid,” he grumbled to himself, tying his apron tighter as he walked out from behind the cash register. He headed out back, where all the crates were, all of them intact. He took a few of them at once and went back inside, all the while cursing quietly under his breath.

He started with the canned products first. Kidney beans, corn, tomatoes, peaches, pineapples. Thinking of how much he disliked their new home helped speed the process up a bit. The people weren’t welcoming, their employer treated them like some sort of scum, they haven’t even managed to get a proper house yet (mind you, sleeping at a saloon room was an absolute nightmare for several reasons), and Sarah was never doing her job. David didn’t even know where she was off to the majority of the time, and her explanations (or lack thereof) definitely didn’t help. All in all, David missed home so far, missed the comfort of his own bed and the familiar noises of New York’s bustling city life, missed his parents, missed his… Well, okay, he didn’t really have friends, so that remained unchanged.

When David was about halfway done with restocking, a customer walked in, and so of course he had to come back to the register.

“Good morning, sir,” he greeted with a forced smile. “What do you need today?”

The stranger waltzed around the store, looking at the wares, and David took the opportunity to get a good look at him–a man his age, maybe a few years older, really fancy. A brimmed hat which made him look like a card shark, a nice, checkered vest, underneath it a white dress shirt, and some striped pants. He didn’t look like trouble, David decided, and so he eased a little, simply letting the man look at the products.

“I don’t suppose you sell, say, ammunition, perhaps, good sir?” the man asked, a kind, almost cheeky smile on his face as he finally walked up to the register. He looked past David, at the back of the store, and he definitely noticed the sturdy door which led to the room in which all the money was stored, in an iron safe.

“We do, for revolvers and rifles,” David nodded, and he started turning around to reach for a small cabinet behind the register, where the ammunition was hidden. Safety measures, or whatever the boss said.

“Alright, thank you, sir,” the man said and tipped his hat, but strangely enough, he started walking out of the building without buying anything. “Stay safe, yeah?”

David creased his eyebrows and watched the man closely. “Yes, thank you,” he answered half-heartedly, and waited for the man to come back or for literally anything to happen. When a few minutes had passed and nothing happened, David decided to let it go. He went to get another crate, this time filled with ammo, and started placing the little cartons in the cabinet.

Then, he heard the door open again, the little bell ringing, and a pair of heels on the wooden floor. He figured that since he could hear the strong clink of the heels, it must’ve been Sarah.

“Sara, znów się spóźniasz,” he scolded his older sister without turning around, using their native tongue. “Przysięgam, jeśli jeszcze raz będę musiał za ciebie wykładać towar, to biorę twoją pensję–”

The words quickly died in his throat as he heard a click. That was, undoubtedly, a gun. As he slowly turned around, a man came into his vision. A cowboy. Of course.

“This is a robbery, good sir,” the man said with a strong accent, pointing his gun right at David, and David felt his heart speed up significantly, his eyes going wide, his hands shaking as he let the crate drop to the ground. “Just stay where you are an’ you won’t get hurt, yeah?”

David nodded, or at least he tried to, frozen in place. He raised his hands in a defensive motion, watching as the cowboy approached. It was now very clear that the heels were just his cowboy boots, moreover, David could now hear the noise the spurs made as the man walked closer. He had two holsters, one of them obviously empty, and if that amount of guns wasn’t enough, he also had a double-barreled shotgun on his back, and given by the stern look in his eyes (the rest of his face being hidden by a red bandana), he was ready to use it and blow a hole into David’s chest.

“Now, give me the money from the register,” the robber commanded as he got close, the barrel of the gun aiming directly between David’s eyes.

David didn’t take long to comply, because he decided that he isn’t paid enough to risk his life. He opened the cash register, struggling a little, given how his hands trembled and how he had trouble with seeing straight, but eventually, he handed the register's contents to the cowboy–a generous wad of money and a few coins.

As the cowboy quickly eyeballed the amount of money, he let out a disapproving grunt, shaking his head. “C’mon, I know it ain’t all,” he said, his finger resting on the revolver’s trigger. “The room in the back, it’s there, ain’t it? Won’t you be helpful and open it?”

David swallowed thickly and started walking backwards slowly, all the while holding his hands up and looking right at the man. He dug in his pocket for a moment and fished out the key eventually, then made quick work of the door lock and eventually opened it, immediately stepping aside.

The man walked into the room, but when he saw the safe, he scoffed. “Son of a… ‘Course,” he said, mostly to himself, and stuck his head out. “Race! Get inside and help me, would ya?”

“You said I was s’pposed to be on the lookout!” a voice from outside the store yelled.

“And now I’m tellin’ ya to get your ass over here!”

David couldn't do anything but watch on as the two partners in crime yelled at each other, which continued even as the other man walked inside. David couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw that it was the same card shark guy from before.

“Howdy again, good sir, excuse my dumbass of a partner there,” said Race, which was what his partner called him.

“Damn it, Racer, shut up and tie the damn guy before he runs outta here and gets the sheriff to intervene!” the man instructed as he struggled with opening the iron box, his ear right next to the lock as he listened to its clicks.

How am I you ask? Upon seeing this in my ask box I immediately burst into tears 😋 thank you my friend for this because 🤲🤲🤲 I needed it and it made my day so much better and like ???!!!!! It’s so good??? You say you fell in love with my version but like !!!! I just fell in love with this!!!!! It’s so perfect 😭 we get David and Sarah bickering and Sarah doesn’t even enter the scene which is so amazing and Jack and Races dynamic??!!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhh it’s so good it’s so so good oh my gosh… also hot cowboys tying up the helpless cashier 👁️👁️ pretty gay if you ask me. Anyway if I were at my usual functioning level this would just be me in all caps screaming but I’m very tired so just imagine this is in all caps with a lot of exclamation points and key smashes. This is everything I love it so much Dave so so much gah! And Jack’s guns??!! He’s so cool gosh darn 🫶🫶🫶‼️

[sushiwt]

(this was supposed to be posted from @sushis-thoughts but i accidentally saved this draft in this blog and i can’t copy and paste the text here in mobile so i’ll post it here instead)

i just dreamt of a super mario bros movie that started with me (looking like joker), walking around a rainy cornfield, when batman grabbed me by my neck, and told me “you need to assemble the super mario brothers” and then punched me so hard i goes into another universe

i was greeted by an elevator, and then i noticed some dangling spheres that looked techy as i arrived in a city, and they were dangling onto nothing, but i just didn’t use them anyway cuz there was nothing to use it for (yet ;>)

then i entered a food court with a supermarket, and saw my best friend and her pokemon, voltorb. i told her we need to check something out outside, and then she accepted it, but first she thought she had to go to a car, that has the driver seats facing the back seats for some reason??? but then we told her that we aren’t going there and we are just investigating these techy sphere thingies. i was trying to open the thing until she had a call from her mother and left me and voltorb investigating

i was still trying to open it until voltorb ate the thing and it spit out a second voltorb! my bff was still in the call but i instantly chased her to tell her about what voltorb found, until i realized she was on the other side of the road… voltorb ate another sphere, and it spit out a peashooter from pvz garden warfare specifically !! i grabbed the peashooter and then went after my best friend, who just put their phone down. “look what i got :D” i said, as i held the peashooter while it shot fireballs out of its mouth. “OHHH THATS SO COOOL, VOLTORB MADE THAT???” and then i grabbed her hand and led her to voltorb, which was eating a lot of spheres and spit out characters such as yoshi from super mario and a blue koopa

i had no idea why that dream told me that was a mario movie…

[reddy-reads]

The Mountain in the Sea, Ray Nayler (wrap up)

I finished it. I liked it!

It's not about making friends with octopi. It is very much about identity and connection (and isolation).

Humankind discovers intelligent life in an octopus species with its own language and culture, and sets off a high-stakes global competition to dominate the future. Rumors begin to spread of a species of hyperintelligent, dangerous octopus that may have developed its own language and culture. Marine biologist Dr. Ha Nguyen, who has spent her life researching cephalopod intelligence, will do anything for the chance to study them. The transnational tech corporation DIANIMA has sealed the remote Con Dao Archipelago, where the octopuses were discovered, off from the world. Dr. Nguyen joins DIANIMA’s team on the islands: a battle-scarred security agent and the world’s first android. The octopuses hold the key to unprecedented breakthroughs in extrahuman intelligence. The stakes are high: there are vast fortunes to be made by whoever can take advantage of the octopuses’ advancements, and as Dr. Nguyen struggles to communicate with the newly discovered species, forces larger than DIANIMA close in to seize the octopuses for themselves. But no one has yet asked the octopuses what they think. And what they might do about it. A near-future thriller about the nature of consciousness, Ray Nayler’s The Mountain in the Sea is a dazzling literary debut and a mind-blowing dive into the treasure and wreckage of humankind’s legacy.

More thoughts and spoilers under the jump.

So, as I said: this book is not about making friends with octopi, but it's very much about consciousness/intelligence and connection/isolation/loneliness. There are octopi, and there are attempts at communication, but the book is much, much more about humans trying to connect with other humans.

The setting is very bleak. I think you could call it near-future Sci-Fi; everything happens on Earth as we know it--more or less. But various corporate forces have reshaped the planet politically in ways that are impossible to miss without the book stopping to explain what has happened. The role of... super-capitalism? In shaping the world reminds me of Murderbot, but it actually feels more bleak overall, I think because of the focus of the story and because of how vividly illustrated the consequences are. There are little glimmers of not-suck here and there, but they're like stars on a cloudy night. All of which is to say, I think the setting is very, very good.

The environment (as in, environmentalism, as in conservation) also features heavily in the book. The stuff about the over-exploitation of the ocean feels very accurate (I grew up with two marine conservationists). It's threaded through the entire book, which is interesting because... it is related to the more "universal" themes that are already present (connection), but it is a theme in its own right.

Another component of the book is the question of "what measure is a non-human?" (* I was about to hit "post" and then remembered a more succinct way to encompass this theme is just "personhood.") Despite the octopus appearing ON THE COVER, there's a lot more near-human AI stuff on the page. Heck, one of the characters is an AI in a body. I personally don't have much to say about this topic overall, but I can't not talk about it when thinking about this book.

This book had a high concept- and thematic-density, while still providing a fast-paced read. Despite the girthiness of the book, I finished it pretty quickly. (This write-up was sitting in drafts because that's how I roll.)

As I was reading it, I actually dug out my little sticker flag thingies and flagged pages throughout the book where the writing was just good. I rarely do that. I just couldn't move on until I'd done something to acknowledge this moment, and that moment, throughout.

Reading it made me feel like I wasn't quite smart enough to get enough out of it as I wanted--and I mean that in a good way! It was challenging in an exciting way.

When I finished it, I wanted to talk to someone smarter/savvier than I was about the book--or better yet, listen to them talk about what they found interesting about it.

Not just the worldbuilding (although that is fabulous and interesting) and the vision of the future that it presents (ditto), and not just the consciousness/communication/AI stuff and the subject matter, but the way the book is put together in itself is interesting! From a writing-craft perspective, I feel like there's more going on under the hood than I gleaned on my first read, and that's exciting too.

Another thing I found interesting was the ending--despite how bleak the book was overall, the ending was... not exactly hopeful, but lighter than I expected. It ends on something like a question mark rather than the period I was expecting.

Okay. Overall: Recommend. Strongly recommend! I have to sit and think about it STILL, EVEN MORE because I... really liked this book but I'm not sure how to talk about it/recommend it yet. I am still digesting.

Oh, and below please find some of the questions I scribbled down after I finished. Please forgive my spelling; I returned my copy to its owner and can't refer back for the characters' names.

Compare and contrast Rustem and Eiko and their roles in the story. What does each respective character's presence (and that of the Sea Wolf) add to the story?

Who or what controls the faceless woman?

Alongside the broader themes of identity, connection, and isolation, there is also the contrast between top-down and networked "control." (How) do these themes connect?

Altansteg is first portrayed as one thing, then another. She goes out of her way to be a cyper with her different translator. Everim is portrayed as whole and complete, as singular, as known yet mysterious. Compare and contrast other features of these characters.

Compare and contrast Ha and Dr Minervudottoir-Chen.

Anyway, if anyone out there goes and reads this book and enjoyed it, please @ me because I want to know what others thought.

[d3c0mp0siti0nn]

First Draft/Central Idea

So originally this was just a little one shot thingy I wrote back in January on the 23rd but I ended up falling in love with the idea and it went from this to a huge writing project with 4 parts, and currently 15 chapters [I haven't made the outline for part 3 yet lol] it has two endings and a reversed ending. It's embarrassing that it's a self insert but oh well. Like I said, I wrote this back in January and it was just a little thing that I wasn't gonna post and it ended up turning into something so much bigger- it's more of a central idea and I had to change it a bit to make it line up with the current story so I'm sorry if it doesn't make any sense. Personally, I think it's bad. I think it's probably the worst and most embarrassing thing I've possibly ever written lol [Again, apologizing for the bad writing, I didn't expect to post this and thought it was just gonna sit in my Google docs forever but I edited it this morning and thought I would share it and see if ppl wanted to know more ab the story.] [[Sorry if it's out of character or anything I haven't actually *played* Ragnarök yet and am going off of videos and fanfics I've seen lmao]]

Word Count: 3,116

Miles doesn't really remember how he ended up in this sort of predicament. Where he currently was, he was laying down in his bed and next to him was a shirtless Heimdall with his back facing Miles.

It was…certainly odd. He hated Heimdall, he was the right hand man to Odin, who ruined his entire life and yet…he couldn't seem to actually spark any hatred for Heimdall no matter how hard he tried. He was still sorta in denial, but deep down Miles loved Heimdall's beautiful fluorescent purple eyes. He wanted to braid his hair and run his hands through it, they looked soft. He wanted to connect all his freckles with his fingers and name the ones that resembled constellations. He wanted to be there for him when he was having a bad day. There was so much Miles wanted to do with Heimdall, he wanted to show him gods can be kind.

Yet- Miles still really doesn't understand why he feels this way, or really how he ended up here. All Miles remembers is being in the tavern as drunken Thor talked about nothing important but Miles stayed feeling the tiniest sliver of pity for the man. Miles was only in Asgard because of Atreus, they had recently become close and this gave Miles a chance to search Asgard for something, anything to break the curse put on his family.

As Thor continued to go on and drown himself in mead, Miles’s eyes drifted around the room. They eventually fell upon Heimdall. He was sitting on a bench with a fur thing over it. He had a book in one hand and an apple in another. Miles turned his gaze back to Thor, thankfully he had passed out on the table. Miles got up, grabbed his cane and walked behind where Thor sat and gave him two harsh pats on the back. He made his way out of the tavern to go explore Asgard, it had been almost four hundred years since his last time there so there was bound to be new things. Even if Miles didn't wanna admit it, Asgard was sorta beautiful. It was weird because it felt so warm here, yet out in Midgard it was Fimbulwinter. It was obviously Odin's magic, but still.

As Miles walked around Asgard he just took it all in, the beauty of life, the way the breeze made the trees and grass dance– just everything. Miles came upon a towering, beautiful tree. It seemed familiar, like he has seen or heard about it before. Miles limped around the tree running his finger over it, observing it. Then he felt something rough under his fingers. It was a heart carved in the tree. As cute as that was it was kinda rude to the tree. Oh well. Inside the heart was "H+M"...ha that's a funny coincidence. Miles's eyes traveled down a little bit and they had more. "-Heimdall (for if he stumbles upon this he'll know it's me)"

Miles made a "hmm", "I wonder who *he* is?" Miles whispered to himself as he made his way around the tree. There were so many carvings, one said- "Am I stupid to like someone so below me?" Yup that was Heimdall alright. "Who could this possibly be about?" Miles wracked his brain for anyone who Heimdall might’ve taken an interest in and yet he came up with nothing. The carvings were very old, they must've been when he was pretty young. At the front of the tree there was a tiny piece of rolled up paper in a tiny little hole in one of the branches. Miles pulled it out and unrolled it, it read:

*"It seems as if things never change. It's been 384 years since I last saw or heard anything from or about him and yet I still feel myself drawn to come visit the tree. I have a feeling he might stumble into my hand soon. I wonder if he's seen this tree? It's all futile to l̶o̶v̶e̶ like such a pathetic god like him and yet I do. He's so below me and yet I feel a strong urge to see him. The one thing I hope is that he doesn't find this.*

*-Heimdall"*

Miles laughed a tiny bit at it. The thought of Heimdall being head over heels for someone was certainly amusing. Maybe Miles could use this against him the next time they had an argument. Miles plopped down at the front of the tree, it was a good sitting spot. Miles grabbed his book and started reading

About an hour later he heard footsteps coming behind the tree. He didn't really feel like looking so instead he just decided to let them find him. The footsteps were slow and gentle he heard a small little laugh to the right of him, where the heart and initials were. Huh, it was Heimdall. I don't think I've ever heard him laugh normally - Miles thought. Heimdall heard it and sorta stomped over to Miles. When he saw who it was he froze and his purple eyes went wide. "What are you doing here?" He spat out. Miles briefly looked up from his book. "Reading. Am I not allowed to read here? Is this your tree or something?" Heimdall looked to the tiny hole that had the note, it was still there and seemed untouched. Heimdall sighed in relief, though it came out more of a huff. Heimdall started to walk away when Miles, still looking at his book, said- "Who's M?"

Heimdall stopped in his tracks. "What." He said with a slight annoyance to his tone. "Who's the other person you carved your initials with?" Heimdall rolled his eyes and took a peek in Miles’s mind, he thought Miles was just playing dumb but he wasn't. He genuinely didn't know it was him, he had even read the note and yet still. He's so dumb - Heimdall thought. "That's none of your business." Heimdall said as he stood proud. "In your note you said you haven't heard from him in 384 years. You must've written that 11 years ago. Is this 'M' person dead or something?"

Heimdall rolled his eyes yet again. "No." Miles made an 'Ah' sound. "It's kinda funny thinking about you falling for someone." Miles said as he laughed a tiny bit while he flipped the page. "I mean the Heimdall falling for someone. It's fucking comical." A tiny part of Heimdall was a bit annoyed that he didn't realize it was him. Miles got up and put his book away and grabbed his cane which he had propped up on the tree. "I'll leave you alone now. Don't worry I won't tell anyone or anything. The fact that you have feelings is between me and you." Miles giggled a tiny bit before he limped off.

"Wait." Heimdall said. Miles turned around. "Did you say something?" - "Come back." Heimdall said a bit harshly. "Okay…" Miles walked back up to where Heimdall was. "What is it?" Miles said as he stood there, waiting for Heimdall to respond.

"It's you." He said blankly. Miles cocked his head to the side a bit. "What's me?" Heimdall groaned. "You're 'M'. The H and M in the heart stand for 'Heimdall and Miles'. I carved it when we were young. The other carvings I did 11 years ago." Miles laughed. "Ha. Yeah right. Funny joke, Heimdall." Miles looked in Heimdall's eyes as he laughed. Eventually Miles’s laughing faded. "Oh…you're– you're serious?" Miles nervously laughed. "I'm gonna go to uhm- to bed." Miles said as he limped away despite it being mid-day.

Once Miles made it back to his bed he threw off his shoes and immediately just fell on his bed. He laid on his back as he recalled what just happened. He wasn't quite sure how to feel. The right hand man to the man who stole everything from him had feelings for him…?

When Miles and Heimdall were 15, they were practically attached to the hip. Miles had heard of Heimdall, but he had just lost his family barely a year prior and he was vulnerable. Then Heimdall came along, and he was sweet and caring and it seemed like they were made for each other. Miles ended up foolishly falling in love with him. Somewhere deep down, Miles knew exactly who Heimdall was- but he was far too blinded to realize. Eventually, word got around to him and he was informed of who Heimdall was. It was terrible. He felt like such an idiot for not realizing sooner. None of it was real- what Miles felt for Heimdall was real but Heimdall's 'love' and 'affection' was all just a facade, something to pull in him closer and give him a false sense of security. So Miles, 16 and hurting, moved to Alfheim and told no one.

Miles had written something for Heimdall he was gonna send his way as a sort of explanation but he just never did. He was far too upset and didn't think Heimdall really *deserved* an explanation.

Miles flipped through all his memories with Heimdall from when they were young. They were nice. Miles never had the chance to make memories with someone close to him, given that as some cruel punishment Odin erased his family's memories of him all together. So with Heimdall he was able to make lasting memories with someone, ones that wouldn't be erased and thrown away as if they meant nothing.

He felt his eyes fill with tears just at the thought of his family. They were the only people to ever unconditionally support him and love him. He was called weak and useless and thrown away all the time simply because he couldn't do what the other gods did. He was cursed to live in the body of a woman with the soul and mind of a man and even though his family could never fully understand it they were there for him when it got hard and they helped him through it for 14 years. One day Miles got fed up with Odin's torture and went to see him. It ended in him going on an insane rampage, tearing down building after building, statues of the "great" Aseir gods, fighting Baldur, Thor, ect just quite literally tearing Asgard to shreds.

It's actually a surprise that Heimdall still felt the way he does after all that. Even after Miles tore down the place he loved so much and had such pride in, he still loved him. It was funny, really. The two of them were in a similar situation when it came to each other. They should hate one another but they couldn't bring themselves to even dislike them.

A light knock on his door made him shoot up. "Come in!" The door slowly opened, it was Heimdall. Miles laid back down. "Hi." Miles didn't know what else to say because he still wasn't quite sure how he felt. His brain, his mind knew that he was also in love with Heimdall but he just couldn't admit it. Heimdall sat at the edge of Miles’s bed. The both of them just sat there in silence, breathing in sync.

Miles eventually got the confidence to look at Heimdall. When he did his hair was all messy and his braids were kinda undone. He was sweating slightly. He must've been practicing sparring.

*I wanna braid his hair.*

Heimdall tensed up a bit and Miles could swear the tips of his ears were red. Heimdall scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Go ahead." Miles sat up and rose an eyebrow. "What?" Heimdall waved Miles off as he undid his hair. "Go ahead. Braid my hair. It's all you've been thinking all day." Miles looked at Heimdall with a quizzical look. "I never said- ooohhh." Miles inched closer to Heimdall. "Are you sure you're okay with a pathetic god like me who's so below you braiding your perfect hair?" Miles had a joking teasing tone that just had a huff from Heimdall in response.

Miles got behind Heimdall and grabbed a comb from his nightstand and gently ran it through his locks. It definitely wasn't Miles’s first time braiding his hair, infact they had braided each other's hair about a millions times when they were young. Although it was probably a lot harder for Heimdall to braid Miles’s hair on account of it being so long, but still, it was nice. That was one of his most precious memories Miles had. It was a good day, it was warm and had a light breeze. It was spring and the trees were so bright and vibrant. Miles and Heimdall had always met on a huge fallen tree in the middle of the Midgardian forest. The tree was covered in moss and Heimdall's hair always seemed to get messed up on his way climbing the tree, so Miles would always braid it. Miles had a tiny suspicion that Heimdall would mess up his hair before climbing up and just blame it on climbing to get Miles to braid his hair. Almost half a thousand years later, Miles still doesn't know the truth.

"Sorry if it doesn't come out very nice I'm a bit rusty, it's been a while." Heimdall didn't say anything as Miles started the first braid. Miles wasn’t sure if he was doing it on purpose or not but Heimdall was really leaning into Miles. Almost fully laying on him but sitting up just enough so it wouldn't make his hair look weird. "Hey Heimdall, can I ask you a question?" Heimdall hummed "When we were younger and we would meet on the tree, would you mess up your hair before climbing up so I could braid it."

Heimdall tensed up. "Why would I ever willingly mess up my hair just to get you to braid it? My hair always looked horrible after you braided it, I had to rebraid it everytime." Miles laughed. "You suck at lying." Heimdall just huffed as a response again.

A while passed and Miles was finally finished. "Okay, I'm done." No response. "Heimdall?" Miles looked down at him…he's asleep? When did he fall asleep? Sure he was quiet but he doesn't normally speak much when he's not gloating. He seemed to be sound asleep too. It had been so long since Miles saw his face so relaxed. Him and Miles used to lay down on the soft moss of the tree and just stare at the clouds. The few times Miles turned his head to look at Heimdall he always looked so peaceful in the blinding sun. His favorite times were when it got dark and cloud watching turned into star gazing. Even when Miles thought he couldn't get any prettier, the light from the moon made his face glow like bifrost. The moonlight highlighted all his best features, which was his whole face but still.

Miles watched with great interest at the mundane rise and fall of Heimdall's chest. His face was blank but it held so much emotion. He truly was the most alluring person he had ever seen. Maybe it's the nostalgia rush from pondering the past but Miles swore he felt 15 again. He felt as he did everytime he was just hanging around Midgard and Heimdall appeared to brighten his day. He felt as he did that one time when he opened the door to his little wooden cabin and saw a tiny box on his porch and once he opened it, it was an onyx stone bead bracelet with a silver square with the dagaz rune on it. He wasn't entirely sure what that feeling was but it was a weird one. It made him dizzy and euphoric, as if he was floating. It made him have a funny feeling in his chest and stomach. It was weird but not unwelcome.

"Your thoughts are so loud, do you know that?" Miles snapped out of his thinking and jumped a tiny bit. "Hmm- they are? Sorry." Miles played with Heimdall's braids a little. "I'm done braiding your hair, by the way." Heimdall got up and instead of leaving he took off his shoes and his shirt and plopped down in Miles’s bed. "What are you doing?" Miles said as he sat next to him. "Going to sleep." Miles laughed.

"Yeah I can see that, my question is why are you sleeping in *my* bed. You have your own bed." Heimdall didn't respond. Miles shrugged and laid down next to him and opted for staring at his back. Miles sheepishly reached his hand out to his back and started connecting his freckles. After a few minutes of lightly running his finger along Heimdall's back, he spoke. "What are you doing?" Miles continued to connect the freckles to one another. "Making constellations." Miles circled a few of his freckles. "These few look like Grus." He circled a few more. "And these here look sorta like Andromeda." He tapped a few more of them. "This one is Lacerta."

Heimdall just hummed. He had his back turned to Miles so it wasn't very clear if he was drifting to sleep or just didn't know what to say. Miles peeked over his shoulder to get a better look at his face. He was smiling, he tried to act as if he wasn't when Miles looked but he was. Miles turned back over on his back and yawned. After a few minutes he heard light snoring coming from Heimdall, it was cute. He tried to go to sleep but he couldn't, after longer than he'd like to admit of tossing and turning he just draped an arm over Heimdall's torso. He was a bit nervous because he wasn't quite sure how Heimdall would react, or if he'd even like it.

Heimdall grabbed Miles's arm and pulled him closer. That's how Heimdall always was though. He was never scared to speak his mind or anything he just believed in actions speaking louder than words. When they were younger, Heimdall always seemed to give Miles something as an apology rather than just saying sorry. Whether it was something as easy to find as some pretty flowers or something like a new knife made by Sindri, that was always his way of apologizing and showing he cared without having to say it.

It was going to take the two of them a while to get used to this, there was gonna be a lot to work out but it was worth it. Because in the end they had each other, and even since they were young that's all they ever needed.

[innitmarvellous]

My current fic WIP/drafts list is in such a state, lol...

- first there’s a pretty cutesy Ian/Paul fic (that one’s almost done, yay) - then there’s a sort of erotically charged Angus/Paul one (I’m a bit ashamed of myself lol) - another Ian/Paul one that will probably turn out to be sort of cute too (why do they always do this) - a funny short HIGNFY one - like a hundred other shippy and non-shippy HIGNFY ones that haven’t gotten past the idea stage yet with only like one or two sentences written as of now - let’s not forget about my epic TTOI sequel thingy which is still ongoing, too - oh, and there’s a Malcolm/Ollie one that’s like halfway done - and another quite funny little TTOI one

...and last but not least I want to try writing some kind of ‘asexual Malcolm Tucker’ story. So yes...I guess you could say my motivation for writing is back and will hopefully stay for a while.

[boct-kimerakal]

assorted trickhawk stuff

you know, so i don’t go insane ...

second lore dump because!! some thing pretty sweet and surprising (and hopefully positive? maybe? i don’t know yet?) happened to me recently!! and i GUESS i’ve been completely overwhelmed by it!! AGH!! so i’ll be putting all the typey-typey fixation energy into dumping out the drafts in ye olde cache. i have to divert the energy somewhere! look! healthy coping mechanisms to deal with my unbearable whimsy! {i say as i am getting increasingly flustered} now i will punch a wall.

once again, largely airing laments and concepts about the duo, these bits will just be trickhawk stuff that ambiently sit in my brain and not plot-relevant lore facts. to be fair though, the plot is their whole life, that’s what Kau Bakari is about, the life of two annoying, tragic artists who collided and now won’t part. so like. hmph. i need a better word for it. the main storyline maybe? like what i focus on when i tell people about them + get art of them. i do not want to call it the juice of the plot thank you very much

first of all.

trick fell down a staircase at age 16 and has a massive scar on their waist that i continuously forget to include in references and it’s been driving me insane. this has been canon for literal YEARS, since before they were even an independent character (they started off as someone i was playing for a TTRPGish campaign thingy)

i feel like i don’t bring this up enough either but oh my god! these two constantly climb up into like rooftops and billboards and AGH! there is so much i want to say about them wishing to see their waiting world from far away, as opposed to living in it and being a part of this terribly complicated organism. they want to watch their world change and grow and [loud sobbing]

another thing i haven’t noted down anywhere yet (and really should before i forget) is that trick has a light sensitivity issue and consistently needs to wear tinted spectacles. it’s a rare genetic defect, common among (but not limited to) the ottu and dyskkin populace especially and i think about it a lot. because like? trick and hawk both love the idea of the beach and stuff, the coastline, the idea of “things beneath the water, things beyond the horizon” you know? and here trick is, struggling to see it in full sunlight, when it can be seen in full clarity, when the most people are there. but. it plays into the fact these two tend to go places where/when others can’t or won’t. their early morning trips, their late night dances in plazas. (in their young adulthood at least, before Everything Else) “seeing the world without being seen” energy - and there’s an irony it holds, given they are both artists, making art that they want seen.

god i have so much to say about legacy and heritage and permanence and stuff and how it effects + is discussed and viewed by these two, but i realise that might need a big fat essay post so i probably shouldn’t put it in the fun fact dump! so uhm! next!

so back to goofy things. hawkes has these issues with pent-up energy she’s working through and trick, well, trick is obsessed with good fun. hawkes tends to want and need to fight, there is a physical ferocity that courses through her and my god! is it hard for her to understand. describing it is fine for our little wordsmith but explaining why? that’s beyond her. she used to start fights because she craved the thrill, and how it soothed the aggression, restlessness. and trick? trick loves a challenge, and, bless that fact, because they spar constantly. it’s just so refreshing for hawkes that they can vent this energy, especially without needing to get people mad / getting into trouble to do so. this is also partly why hawk learnt to dance(? aforementioned unnamed art form), though there’s a different feeling in a fight! ...though also. me when. me when a familiarity & mutual understanding create a natural rhythm and turn a duel into a duet. still, after they distance themselves, hawkes has to put some work into finding another way to cope.

i think sooo much about how they complement or parallel each other and it rots my brain something truly wicked. i will not stop trying to cook up ideas for how their respective art forms (music / murals) changed after meeting each other, then how it evolved as they became increasingly dependent, right up until they had to pull away from each other.

more on dumb quirks, i don’t think i have it written down anywhere that trick absolutely loves the sound of bells, or that hawkes hates wearing fuzzy things (itchy!) then there’s hawk’s relationship with trick’s cat mischief (wherein the silly kitty torments hawk! by way of always sitting on her lap, instead of trick’s, rendering her incapacitated)

FYI hawkes’s earrings have little bells in them which absolutely delight trick, because trick can recognise hawk’s approach from a whiles away because of this! which. jumping around. is so special and important to trick whenever their eyes are failing them [they often forget the spectacles / choose not to wear them]

i still haven’t gotten started on the fact trick gets outfits tailored for hawk, or that trick decorated hawk’s instruments, or that hawk consistently gets weird gifts like oddly smooth rocks for trick, or that trick lets hawk co-sign their murals because her lyrics get incorporated into them or -

[ifitmeanslosingyouthenno]

neil with an abusive boyfriend

this has been in my drive drafts for years so i might as well just post this as a bullet point thingy cause its yet another thing I'll never write

tw include implied rape non con, domestic abuse, physical and sexual abuse, implied violence, but theres nothing graphic

okay okay so it all starts the night mary dies

neil walking for miles along the desert, in a daze bc his mother is dead and he buried her in the sand and he's kinda having a breakdown and he's just so unaware of himself

until a truck pulls over in front of him and he's so out of it he doesn't even care if it's his father's people

but it's just a guy who is talking to him worriedly and neil's still dazed and just stares at him right until the guy touches him and it all crashes back

and at once neil feels the pain and sorrow and grief and flinches away from him and hears the guy's panicked voice, "oh my god I'm sorry i didn't mean to- it's just fuck i need to take you to the hospital! you're bleeding and you're burnt and-"

"I'm fine" but even he doesn't believe himself especially when he looks down and realizes that yeah his hands and arms are covered in burns and he's just now feeling it and how long has he even been walking for with these burns exposed?

and like the guy's a nurse who wants to take him to the hospital but neil refuses so at the end he says he could take him to his place and get some stuff from the hospital to treat the burns

and really neil knows he shouldn't trust him basically a stranger but he knows he can't treat wounds this bad by himself and what other choice does he have? so he gives in but also "i can't stay for long" "why" "he'll find me" and "i promise he'll never hurt you again"

so neil, in the fragile mindset of mary's death goes with this complete stranger whose name is like jason or something and he takes care of his burns for weeks and lets him stay with him for very little in return

and for a moment neil believes that maybe his mom was wrong, and people aren't bad, he can trust others and he can trust others to help him without going to the police or without being caught by the butcher and neil does trust this man with a small part of his story, just enough

except when neil's better and says he shouldn't stay anymore bc it's not safe for the guy, he gets mad "don't you trust me? don't you think i can keep you safe? all this time you were just with me until you healed?" and just gaslighting neil until neil agrees for them to move together and the guy ends up kissing him and neil is not sure he feels that way for him and when he hesitates when the guy pushes him into the bed he just goes, "hush baby it's alright, I'm gonna take great care of you, i can keep you safe always safe" and yeah they have sex, well it's rape really

but they end up moving to millport by themselves and it goes the same except neil wears long sleeves all the time bc of the burn scars and bc there are now bruises lining his arms and body bc the guy gets a little physical sometimes but it's okay for neil he understands that's how love is, and he still signs up for school and he still signs up for exy

so wymack still finds him even if the situation is different bc neil is not squatting in the locker room but instead he shows up with bruises constantly and sometimes he's really tired bc he hasn't been allowed to sleep much and sometimes his voice is hoarse and the list goes on

and hernandez thinks it's his family, bc how could it be the guy who shows up to support him every game? the guy who holds him sweetly and kisses him just the same

so wymack arrives and for a moment the guy intervenes and wants him to say no bc they're fine in millport but neil asks for a moment with him and the guy tries to convince him not to take it and neil just stands firm for the first time and the guy holds on to his arm so hard he knows it'll bruise and in the end he says some shit like "you owe me, and there's no way I'm letting you go alone, I'll come with you" and when wymack asks if he can talk with neil alone he asks "is he a problem?" and neil defends him "he's just very protective, he- he helps"

bc this is an abusive relationship and neil has had nothing but abusive relationships with everyone he's known so really he doesn't know any better and the rest of the conversation goes pretty much the same except wymack doesn't trust the guy and still asks him to come in may so that they could start his conditioning earlier but really it's just so that he can keep an eye on him

so he does go to palmetto :) with the abusive bitch with him and they get an apartment and during the may training neil still stays with him to wymack's horror

and really the other foxes can notice it too, especially since the guy is an overbearing bitch and even andrew teases neil about his relationship but it's aaron who makes himself be close with neil

by the time neil is allowed into the tower, the guy doesn't want to let him go but it's in his contract so he has no choice and that's the first time in palmetto that he punches him in the face, and then he throws neil out and takes away his key

so when neil shows up at the physical he doesn't want to talk about it despite abby's protests and when he's asked to take off his shirt he tells her he won't talk about any of it, except aside from the scars there are bruises below his shirt, handprints and fingerprints in his waist and abby nearly cries but neil refuses to talk but "you don't understand" "i do, neil, more than you would imagine" so neil leaves that room a shaky mess

when matt arrives to pick him up he just jokes about how he forgot to bring his stuff and he must have forgot his keys at home and of course matt notices the bruise and says he'll come with neil and he does and the guy pretends to be a saint like he hadn't hit neil earlier and gave him his bag and he makes neil ask nicely for forgiveness so he can get his keys and neil just starts "asking" when matt intervenes and says they really need to get to the tower in time so they can leave

the car ride is awkward but neil dodges every single one of matts questions

id like to think aaron has a soft spot for neil in this universe, like he knows what its like to love someone that hurts you, and to defend their actions to those that question them, and unlike canon, this time the abuse stares him right in the face instead of hidden like canon neil is (so aaron likes neil before he has a reason to hate him lol)

also in the columbia thing neil drinks bc he knows that when he drinks it hurts less and when andrew tries to question him, he's cagey both about his relationship as to how he's here and he drunkenly admit his father is a dangerous man "but really (my bf) promised to protect me from him, i don't- that's why it's fine" "what's fine" "that he hits me sometimes" "what" "yeah he promised to protect me from my dad, and he asked for nothing in return, so it's only fair he gets his way with me however he likes"

and of course andrew flinches at that and has to leave for a second and neil just gets passed around dance floor until aaron arrives to get him out of there when he notices andrew left him

and idk what else honestly

like the foxes become very protective of him immediately, but it takes lots of time for neil to understand that love doesn't work that way

once school starts aaron spends a lot of time with neil, even if their majors have nothing in common, bc its an excuse not to send neil home to his abuser

the upperclassmen and nicky also spend as much time with neil as they can

andrew avoids him at first but he still tries to keep an eye on him, and he still allows kevin to train him at nights, except mister douchebag boyfriend doesn't allow night practices so neil doesn't join them as early as he does in canon

as much as the foxes try to accompany him and make sure he knows he doesn't have to put up with his boyfriend, neil cant bring himself to break up with him bc hes more afraid of nathan than he is of douchebag, even if he sees how relationships are meant to be in dan and matt, and even in seth and allison sometimes, so he stays with him, he faces that abuse every single day bc hes not ready to be alone against nathan yet

but he still gets some strenght out of the foxes, he manages to fight for participating in night practices, he fights for being in kathys show bc he doesn't want to quit night practices, and he starts to get a bit of fire back

ngl i have no fucking idea of what else lmao im just gonna drop this as it is

[zhrx]

it's a draft of my unposted eremika fanfic

that i already planned since 2021, making a draft for chapter 1 before the final part start, ending up burning into ashes due to procrastionation.

BUT! it's such a waste to buried it deep into the grave yet before actually try to publish it, so here is a snippets of what chapter one would be, enjoy..? (although pls don't throw your precious phone at me due to the cringeness, my inner 12 yo probably still thriving at those) _____________________ (oh so if you are new, i recommend follow my eremika playlist because every chapter is centered around the songs included, thankuu)

Chapter 1: Have we met already? (Eren’s POV)

Oct 31th 2023 | 21.19 PM [Jean’s Party]

It’s probably fate, or just a perfectly coincidental moment for Eren. But he knew there was something he didn’t quite understand happening the moment he locked eyes with her. Yeah, her - the beautiful lady in a red dress that passes him at the stupid Halloween party that Jean throws, supposedly to “meet the pretty sorority ladies, Eren! Live a little bit” and shows off his hosting skills. Haha yeah, it’s not like that skill exists.

___

Oct 31th 2023 | 14.20 PM [Annie and Armin’s Apartment]

Earlier that noon

“I think you’re allowed to take a break, Mr. I-Am-Taking-My-Life-Too-Seriously-Or-AI-Will-Take-My-Job Jaeger”, Armin said as he looked over Eren on the floor, surrounded by his worn-out medical textbooks with colorful post-it notes all over the pages. Eren scoffs, “Someone needs to find the cures you know. And what about you, the one who actually works part-time at library because you apparently love to study some... triangle rock thingy”. “I think you very much know it called a pyramid, Eren”, he said whilst rolling his eyes.

He saw Annie sitting by the sofa and offering her a hot cocoa and cozying up beside her while peering over her laptop screen filled with kitten videos and law PDF books. “What Armin meant to say is you should get your life together man, being too busy in your studies have an almost zero percent for you to meet someone”, Annie said, meeting Eren’s pair of green eyes giving her death stares while mouthing “fuck you” before he resumes his studies “. “Well, there’s a 0,001 percent he could met someone, honey. Maybe we should try to be more optimistic?” Armin says. She replies, “If you're saying optimistic in that questionable tone, you surely think it's impossible for us to double date with Eren at this point.”

“Okay, first of all, we DID already have our double date with Historia. And even at that point she doesn’t realize yet she ‘swings’ that way until she met that brown haired woman.” Eren tries to argue, waving the paper in his hand to emphasize his point. “I don’t think hanging out with your childhood friend is called a date, you don’t even like her that way” Annie retorts back. Suddenly, Annie bolts up, causing Armin to almost spill his cocoa due to the sudden movement. Before Armin can speak, Annie interrupts, "You should go to the party Jean is throwing tonight! I heard he invited everyone on campus as part of welcoming new students, but we all know he's just trying to spread his...wing, not leg mind you. You might meet someone there".

Eren sigh. This was not the first time his friends had tried to coax him into searching for a partner. He thought it a waste of time, having to deal with someone else's emotions. He shudders, recalling witnessing his brother's on-again, off-again situationship.

His brother would say things like "She's just my coworker, Eren, nothing more." Then he would drunkenly call late at night, complaining "Why isn't Pieck interested in me anyway? People would throw their panties seeing me." Or "Yelena really rubbed me the wrong way but gosh I would gladly sell my soul for her body." And other explicit things would be thrown at Eren before he would throw his phone away and let his brother continue ranting for another two hours until passing out.

Pathetic.

He considers people who cannot stand being alone as pathetic human beings.

_______

[ghostcaterwaul]

For the "Weird Questions for Writers": 1, 17, 18, 19 ^-^ (Again, I know I'm a bit late, but if you still wanna do these~)

1. What font do you write in? Do you actually care or is that just the default setting?

Arial, because it’s the default font and if I tried to pick another one, I’d probably just spend hours trying to decide on which one to use and never get any writing done. Lol.

(The rest of this post is long so I'm going to put it under a read more thingy.)

17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.

Okay, so, I’m so not happy with the overall like, plot or whatever at this point. It sounded like a great idea while outlining but now I’m not so sure. I think Alice just doesn’t fit as well with the canon characters as I hoped she would, since she wasn’t made as a fan character or anything like that. I only started writing it because I was super excited to have such a new OC that was so developed and I really wanted to write about her but didn’t really have a story or anything and I’m currently hyperfixating on Metal Lords, so I figured putting her in a Metal Lords fic would make sense because I’d be motivated to write it but I’m not sure it’s working out and I’m lowkey annoyed. So, yeah, this is all subject to change and I have no idea what’s going to make it into the final story, especially since I’m having a hard time getting things from outline to draft, but anyways, here’s what I’ve got so far!

The outline of events I have written down starts before the movie, then there’s a few things during the movie and afterwards too (I haven’t written anything in like, 2-3 years, so I felt like using the movie as like, a blueprint for the outline would be the least stressful way to jump back into writing.) I’m thinking of either telling the whole thing in, like, disjointed scenes or in a sort of flashback format where the fic itself would start after Metal Lords, but have Alice recall different memories throughout the fic.

Alice meets Emily before the events of Metal Lords actually happens because they start at Glenwood Lake High on the same day after Alice and her mom inherit her late grandmother’s house. They get fairly close (as close as Alice will let anyone get to her, anyways). Alice falls hard for Emily. It’s very important, story-wise, that nothing romantic ever happens between them.

Emily totally starts unintentionally neglecting her friendship with Alice when she first starts dating Kevin, basically only hitting Alice up for “girl talk” AKA talking about her new relationship. Alice is wayyy too nice about this, because she’s way too nice about everything.

I’m not sure yet if Alice or Hunter is the first to notice that they’re both on the shit end of the stick as far as unrequited love is concerned, but this is like, the absolute basis of their friendship, at least in the beginning. The notes I’ve made seem to be leaning towards a queerplatonic type of thing with them, but we’ll see what happens when I actually finish a draft and start editing. Either way, I feel like Hunter needs someone to hang out with other than Kevin and Emily or he will absolutely lose his fucking mind.

Alice is kind of in love with the idea of being in love, but won’t let anyone get close enough to develop romantic feelings for her. This is part of her problem. Like, she doesn’t let anyone see past the tip of the iceberg, basically. Maybe Alice/Emily could have been a reality if Alice wasn’t so closed off.

Alice's mother always told her that her father left before she was born, but the truth is her mother is the one who left and her father has no clue she exists. Alice has no desire to try and connect with her father, so this will probably never come up and she will never find this out.

Alice’s room has so much stuff in it. I’m talking cluttered shelves full of stuff, stuff hanging from her ceiling and in her windows, stuff on her walls. Like, I have it all written down and I’m currently searching for some sort of outline/template that I can use as like, a reference sheet for her room just so it’s easier for me to read than the block of text I currently have in my Google docs.

Also, the more I outline and make notes, the more I’m sure that Alice isn’t cis. Like she’s probably under the non-binary umbrella in a “gender doesn’t make sense to me and feels like an abstract concept” kind of way.

I literally have so many notes on this WIP, overall, I had a hard time figuring out what to include in this answer, ngl. Like, I haven’t put this much work into something in a really long time, which is why I’m kinda determined to actually write it despite the fact I’m super hypercritical of it all the time.

18. Choose a passage from your writing. Tell me about the backstory of this moment. How you came up with it, how it changed from start to end.

Okay, so anything I have written for my current primary WIP is a very rough draft, if that, and completely unedited. So I hope it’s okay if I use something from one of my other WIPs. This is from an original work I was working on called A Chaotic Love (working title).

They sit a few feet away from each other, tormenting themselves, auto cannibalizing from the inside out, drowning in the blood of their feelings and choking on the emotional word vomit that threatens to spill from their mouths if they dare to part their lips to even breathe.

But it’s okay.

Everything’s okay.

Everything’s o-fucking-kay.

She feels so full that she doesn’t know if she can hold back any longer.

Everything’s okay.

He fills the void with cheap liquor, she uses it to drown out the constant noise in her head.

It’s okay.

They’re okay.

It’s all o-fucking-kay.

He passes out on the couch, still sitting up, arms crossed over the albatross tattooed on his bare chest. She stands up, wobbling at first. She can’t tell if the dizziness is from drinking so much or if she stood up too fast. She makes her way to her room, or rather, their room. Though, she doesn’t consider it their room anymore, as he’s been passing out on the couch, drunk, every night and never sleeps in bed with her. She slips out of her sundress and sprawls out on her stomach on the bed like a snow angel. She misses him.

It’s not okay.

It never was.

It never will be.

She’s not sure how much longer she can continue to hold on.

She’s not sure how much longer she can continue to pretend that it’s all okay.

Because she knows it’s not.

And she thinks he knows it too.

So, this is still very much a draft of a snippet that I probably won’t fully edit unless I actually finish writing the whole novel. This is Mallory and Jeremy after the honeymoon phase of their relationship, when Mallory is starting to become disillusioned with what she thought was going to be her fairytale romance and starts to realize that maybe running away from home with a guy she barely knew wasn’t the best idea, even though she very much needed to escape her parents and her hometown. This is supposed to be the beginning of the end for Mallory and Jeremy. If I remember correctly, I used my tarot deck as a prompt to get this rolling. I can’t remember which card(s) I pulled for this, though. I pretty much freewrote this. The very first sentence came to me super easily and I’m pretty proud of it, ngl. Only thing I really changed from the initial freewrite was adding in some details like Jeremy’s albatross tattoo, Mallory wobbling upon standing up, her sundress, the snow angel comparison, etc. Basically just added more description to that paragraph in general.

19. Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going?

I vividly remember putting together storybooks when I was as young as 5. I’d draw or trace pictures onto printer paper, and then dictate the words to my mom so she could write it in and then she'd help me staple the pages together. I just really liked making up stories. I got really into Buffy The Vampire Slayer when I was like, 9, and that’s when I started writing fanfic. Jumped from fandom to fandom for a while. Got into online written roleplay around the age of 11 or 12 and that’s where I’ve always done most of my writing. I didn’t really start thinking of writing as like, a career path until I was 13, when my 8th-grade English teacher overheard me complaining about the book she had assigned us, I don’t even remember the name of it, I just remember that I didn’t care about the main character at all, so enjoying the book was pretty much impossible. My English teacher got all pissy about my opinion and said something along the lines of “If you hate it so much, write something better.” And my snarky ass muttered, “screw you, maybe I will” and she fucking heard me, so then I was like, “Dammit, now I have to write a novel purely out of spite" because this teacher… Is the only English teacher I ever had that I could not fucking stand, I usually loved whoever I had for English, and she definitely had some sort of issue with me too, for some reason. So yeah, that’s when I started to take writing more seriously. I bought every fucking book and workbook on creative writing that I could get my hands on to perfect my craft and started writing more original fiction. I used to write every day. I was super dedicated too. Like, my parents would wake up at 5 AM, so I got my ass up at 4 AM every morning, so I could have an hour to myself to write with no interruptions while I had my coffee. Went to college for creative writing but never completed the degree. I’ve never finished anything multi-chaptered. I wish I could blame that on undiagnosed/untreated ADHD but I’ve been diagnosed and on meds for about 7 years now and I still can’t finish anything. Lol. I’m just now coming out of a really bad overall creative block where I just couldn’t seem to engage in any of my creative hobbies. I went from always having 1-3 projects (usually I’d be working on a story, something music related, and some sort of long-term arts & crafts project so I could alternate between the three) to not working on anything. I’m trying to focus more on fanfic right now over my original WIPs since fanfic is where I started, and I’m hoping it’ll get me out of this awful creative slump that I’ve been in for the past few years.