#((I want to see where theyre going with it. it looks like fun))
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yan-springlove · 1 day ago
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Powder Blues AU
So I've been thinking about the different ways Powder×Jinx could work given that Jinx leaves Zaun and Piltover.
I think it'd be a slowburn in regards to Powder being able to see Vi and Ekko, and a slowburn between Jinx and Powder. In a things-get-worse-before-they-get-better way. So welcome to this AU I made for them!
I got inspired by one of my fav fics where two siblings' bodies get molecularly mashed into a single one thanks to a quirk--but retains the consciousness of both siblings. Much like how our Ekko hopped into Powder's Ekko through the arcane anomaly!! Except the other Ekko didn't retain any sort of control or consciousness.
(https://archiveofourown.org/works/45335362 if u wanna check it out. Its MHA--Touya and Fuyumi centric, wonderfully written)
Powder would probably try to account for that--but what if she wasn't completely succesful?
So Jinx and Powder are stuck in the same body sharing control instead of complete separation. They can't hear each others thoughts, so they have to talk with the same mouth (taking turns) if they want to communicate.
This has so much potential for various scenes!! But here's my idea for how it goes:
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Powder finds that she has to convince Jinx she's real and not just another facet of Jinx's mental instability. As Jinx is currently wandering Demacia via airship, Powder is trying to convince Jinx to visit Vi and Ekko.
With enough willpower, Powder finds she can move Jinx's body---up until Jinx starts fighting for control of those parts again (like if Powder is doing something Jinx really doesn't want to aka going back to Zaun and Piltover)
Gaining control is kind of a coin toss over who has the most willpower and focus on moving the way they want when theyre fighting for control.
They find out that when one of them sleeps, the other has unimpeded control.
So every step farther away from Zaun Jinx takes, Powder retraces them when she has control. Keeps hoping eventually Jinx will get tired of running and let her go back.
Needless to say, they don't get along very well at the beginning due to clashing goals.
Resentment wells up in Powder, stuck in Jinx's body. It keeps growing until she becomes bitter. Sad. Her comments about Jinx's actions during the day to day adventures go from curious, exasperated, etc--to attempts at cutting insults and dry, sarcastic mockery. Tired. She's exhausted with Jinx's shit.
She's so close to seeing Vi, yet so far.
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On the other side of the coin; Jinx feels like she's just gone some new kind of insane. But unlike Powder, she's grateful to have company (that can't die) again. At the start she just bickers with Powder for the fun of it, along with the rest of their conversations.
That changes when Powder uses Jinx's confessions/conversations to herself or her voices while thinking Powder was asleep. (Haven't decided what she'll use against Jinx, but I know Powder doesn't actually know/mean the full impact of what she said--she doesnt have the full picture of Jinx, yet. She's angry and fed up with Jinx and lashes out after week or months of trying to keep it in).
Jinx goes quiet. She doesn't talk to Powder for days after that.
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Thats when their relationship starts to change.
With a few days of silence from Jinx, Powder uses that time to travel to Zaun/Piltover. But she stops outside the city, because the fact that Jinx retreated so far that she hasn't even tried to take back control the whole time worries Powder.
She apologizes for what she said, and talks about the feelings that had been festering since she arrived in Jinx's body. About Vi (and Ekko).
Still no reply.
So Powder gives herself a day to explore Zaun and Piltover without looking for Ekko or Vi. Tries to get Jinx to talk while exploring the cities, but it just ends up with her continuously having one sided conversations. Powder finds she doesn't mind, though. Somehow she knows Jinx is listening.
Powder shares all the differences she sees in Jinx's reality vs her world. Tells Jinx stories about her family. Ekko. Benzo. Heimerdinger. Mylo. Claggor. Vander. Silco.
Vi.
While she told Jinx that her Vi is dead, she never shared the intimate details of the experience.
This time, she tells Jinx how it happened. How it felt. What it's been like for her all these years mourning and missing Vi.
How Jinx's Ekko showed Powder what she looked like in this world when he visited.
How much she just wants to see her sister. To hug her one more time.
Up on a rooftop alone and looking down at the two cities, Powder lets herself cry out everything that's been rotting in her the past few months living in Jinx's body.
When she's done, it's Jinx that carefully wipes Powder's tears away. That whispers hoarsely, "I'll take you to her."
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next up in this AU is a Vi, Jinx, and Powder reunion (+ Cait and Ekko)
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Bonus: I like to think that Jinx would ask for more stories of Silco and Vander.
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biblically-accurate-dca · 5 months ago
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moon n ballora
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daughterofsarenrae · 4 months ago
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eek
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thenamessparkplug · 4 months ago
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starrysharks · 1 year ago
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zeno's ultimate pokemiku tierlist ⁉️(it's all his opinion and he loves them all regardless⁉️)
#like arrfgggdiakaktmcksmsama this was literally all for me like they knew what they were doing#i love character design i love pokemon i love miku. and then you put ALL THREE TOGETHER....#i will explain some of my choices here#poison miku is just too good but also i am a big sucker for freaky scientists with constant “worry” eyebrows#her design is just so out there and crazy (this is about the shoes. some understand the greatness of the shoes and some dont. and thats ok.)#every other miku in peak i think establishes their theme exeptionally well especially ghost bug and fighting#for ghost i already love spooky and gloomy looking characters and that miku delivers tenfold (of course shes designed by the GOAT take)#esp with the mix of ghostly and electronic/digital regarding the glitchy parts n the 01 hologram#she looks like shell invade my computer and give it a virus if i dont send the chainmail about her tragic file corruption to 10 friends#(in the best way possible)#for bug miku the big dress is a huge plus but also i just think shes adorable nuff said#for fighting - i love a delinquent character and she fits that really well. the half coat thing is a big highlight for me#also the leek theme is absolutely iconic#for the ones i didnt like as much - i honestly just think the koraidon one is a leeeeetle bit boring#dont get me wrong. it has really cool aspects like the hair and the koraidon like cape but idk#it feels like theres a lot going on but not that much at the same time? its still a really nice design tho esp the hair color#for the ones in yellow tier - i just dont like the color palletes very much . theyre still really nice designs esp fire miku#but all in all these are genuinely all amazing designs and i dont want to be too critical or mean to any of them esp seeing im not a pro#but this was really fun to see unfold!!! cant wait until the songs start dropping#in the topic of miku as well - hey muse dash where's my miku on the switch version....#please dont make us wait too long 🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿
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reel-fear · 8 months ago
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Honestly, every single time the whole 'poppy playtime is a bendy rip-off' stuff ever shows up I find it all extremely unconvincing and silly.
For one thing, rip-off usually is meant to imply that it's a cheap lazy copy of a better more polished thing, and uh. Sorry but even from chapter 1? Poppy Playtime is a better game than Bendy, it has a simple but understandable story, the game manages to be thrilling, creepy, and very intense at times... I mean that Huggy chase in the vents ALONE puts it way above Batim for me.
I mean BATDR had the most slow stupid chase I've ever seen [and every other encounter with the ink demon is text telling u he's there and then a timer goes down and u get jumpscared] and batim's chases were either silly or just not nearly as theatric or terrifying as that.
When making the vent sequence I mean not only is it absolutely horrifying to realize how fast Huggy is in there but also it's so theatric and cool? The fact that you round a corner after thinking you escaped only to see a terrifying animation of that thing crawling toward you is awesome! I wish Bendy had stuff like that!
And all the stuff it shares with Bendy are generic things Bendy ripped from other horror games/media anyways. I'm not saying Poppy Playtime isn't inspired by Bendy I for sure think it is but Bendy is such a generic story that somehow fails to do tropes 100 other horror games have done any comparison only makes Poppy Playtime look better.
"It has employees being sacrificed for their company" That is not a concept Bendy invented, literally look at any of the sci-fi horror series Bendy is very inspired by. This is literally a twist in the original Alien.
"It has a scary woman forcing you to do tasks for her" Once again, not a concept Bendy invented, a scary mysterious person forcing you to do fetch-quests is a concept found in tons of horror media. And at least Poppy Playtime gave you a chase with her and let you defeat her, look at poor malice. She's barely on screen for more than 10 minutes before she gets stabbed.
"It has a cult worshipping the monster" This is something tons of horror games and media have done too. I mean In The Tall Grass has a guy who worships a giant magical rock in the middle of a grass maze, Bioshock [which Bendy has only been taking more and more direct inspiration from while failing to grab any of the compelling parts] also had a lot of themes of religion and cult-ish behavior, almost every horror media franchise has at one point done a cult thing.
Bendy couldn't even come up with a reason Sammy worships the ink demon, the best motivation we've ever gotten is just that 'he's crazzyyyy the ink made him insaneeee'. Who is the cheap rip-off here?
At least Poppy Playtime gave their cultist a motive for worshipping the monster + a proper boss fight that feels intense and looks awesome! Bendy didn't even let you kill Malice [she got stabbed in front of you and then just collapsed on the floor how thrilling] meanwhile you get to kill three of the villains in Poppy Playtime and the gameplay and action in those scenes have only gotten better as the game went on.
I mean Sammy walks into a room and goes "AAA SCARY I'M BEING MURDERED" then later shows up and for NO REASON sees a normal human man and assumes it's the ink demon before once again someone else kills him for you. In Poppy Playtime you defeat Catnap as he floods the world with this horrible nightmare-inducing gas that intensifies the color palette and his design. Fight off versions of him that are illusions that you need your flare gun for, then watch in a wonderful animation as he mistakes the monster for his savior before getting killed by it, in a brutal way I might add, which game are we accusing of being cheap, lazy garbage again?
I just find this argument to be people who Really Really need to find a reason to hate Poppy Playtime which I think is silly. The devs being weird, shady people is already enough reason to dislike the game, you don't need to invent reasons why secretly every part of the game is malicious or bad. But esp when I see Bendy fans saying they don't support Poppy Playtime or dislike it bc of its devs or even saying its cringe ummmm.
I have bad news about the fact Bendy's devs are worse and it took not one, but TWO over an hour long videos to cover it all. Plus the Bendy games are just the worse games in every aspect, if I could sell my batim copy for a copy of Poppy Playtime I wouldn't hesitate at all.
Saying this as a bendy fan, we have no right to be super judgy towards Poppy Playtime. If Poppy Playtime is embarrassing cringe, Bendy is too and is way more embarrassing of an interest. We shouldn't spread misinformation just because we all want to hate Poppy Playtime, you can dislike Poppy Playtime without making up a bunch of nonsense to justify it.
Honestly seeing people just blatantly be unfairly mean to Poppy Playtime only makes its critics look worse and makes it hard to take any backlash to the games seriously. Because surprise surprise if you spread misinformation to make a point people will quickly stop listening to Anything you have to say bc they won't trust you're telling the truth anymore.
#feel free to reblog but Im not gonna tag this its way too rambley at least for my taste to go in the main tags#ramblez#also man can I say I didnt want to make this post super long but theres so many other points I could make in poppys favor#the fact we got to see the hour of joy and it was terrifying we dont even know if joey actually killed anyone anymore#the gameplay itself is more diverse and fun then batim which is a walking simulator that pretends to have fighting n stealth mechanics#at least Poppy n Missys friendship gives u a reason to care for missys safety before shes put in danger#Missy can actually express unlike Boris who sits there looking cute with no proper expressions until he gets yoinked and ur supposed to car#bc he was uh adorable? And therefore you spend an entire chapter tryna get him and get an extremely bad boss fight in return-#also soundtrack wise I like poppys tracks more theyre unique and fun and you can tell which part of the game they come from#bendy has so many dramatic reveal stingers and tracks that are really hard to tell which part of the game they come from#bertrums boss fight has my favorite theme bc its so specifically crafted for him and unique and meanwhile Norman has one of the worst imo#a lot of Bendys soundtrack if I played it for you right now it would be hard to guess where its from bc it all kinda sounds the same#the reveal music for the machine for bendy land for heavenly toys for alices domain all sound the same x_x#its just so frustrating but yeah my point is can we all stop making up new reasons to shit on poppy playtime its just kinda dumb#it feels less like actual criticism and at this point just feels like elaborate justification for cringe culture which I hate#okay thats it bye sorry this is 10 pages long-
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7hefear · 3 months ago
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ok i gotta do the gunshots thing again just in case. and also bc ive seen some of this on my tumblr friends blogs lately
hi if ur identified endogenic system or pro endo fuck off thanks. i ask you to do research. and if u dont wanna just block me thanks thumbs up.
more shit in tags lol
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liquidstar · 2 years ago
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i finally finished alternate outfit designs for my ocs :) well these five at least lol
ill put the individual frames under the cut!
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#finn's ocs#i think tumblr sort of made the drawings a bit blurrier so its harder to see some details like saiphs scars or miras stretch marks... sad!#hopefully clicking on it solves that?#anyway i ended up doing the pjs after all bc i figured messy hair would be fun to do#and if i was going to put saiph in underpants anyway it would be funny to do like. the cartoon heart boxers but w fire lol#the formal looks were fun to do though. you can tell al's is like totally inspired by utena's look in aou#there are for sure through lines i wanted to keep w all their outfits like in general#aside from just keeping the same colors and general style#like mira always has like a cold shoulder look and tends to have somekind of asymmetry towards the bottom#except for her formal look for the latter#saiph always wears those wrist things no mater what. also he always has somekinda flame pattern#polaris either has snowflakes stars or compasses ofc. and if she has somekinda skirt the red will be Under it#bella has the same skull design on her bows. except for the pj look where now the skull itself is wearing a bow#and al has the stars on the strings and mismatched shoes#the most similar outfits are the summer/spring and winter/fall ones#those are pretty much default outfits so thats why#and their hairstyles in the winter/fall looks are like just slightly longer versions of their summer/spring styles#they dont really change hairstyles for the beach and pjs aside from the long haired characters pulling them up different#or putting them down for the pjs look. in bellas case#their formal look probably has the most difference in hairstyle. like theyre not just grown out or pulled back#theyre like actually styled different#these arent their final looks btw there are like completely different timeskip designs too but like#id have to use different bases for those probably. there would be changes LOL#but yeah :)#finn's art#forgor that one
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silverislander · 8 months ago
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have discovered a new enemy while doing research for the honours essay. why are you pretending to understand psychology and BLATANTLY misinterpreting actual terms and concepts in order to tear down a movie aimed at teenage girls, my good bitch. i'm going to start biting
#you got the WRONG BITCH bc you just hit on two of my biggest interests (zombie movies and psychology) at once#FIRST of all. you dont have the credentials to be talking abt this and it shows bc why dont you know what psychotic means!!#simple shit!! you want to pretend you know psychology dont fuck up psychopathology psychopathy and psychosis! all different things!#you can BARELY conceive of narcissism. a one off joke about how a character recognizes his flaws and wishes he was respected more#is NOT proof to label someone as a fucking narcissist oh my god. id actually argue the complete opposite#you are accusing A Zombie of being abusive based on (checks notes) being scary looking eating brains and /protecting a girl/#bc uhhhhhhh smth smth dark triad smth smth twi/ight#last time i checked thats literally just fucking normal ass zombie shit + him being NICE!!#its not male gaze 'ocular aggression' bestie he cant blink. hes dead.#talking about how the zombie is unrepentantly creepy when he Literally worries about coming off as creepy In The Movie out loud#SECONDLY to circle back why are you so stressed about twilight. thats not even the subject of the chapter#(there are good critiques of those movies but this is not that)#your book came out in 2015 why were you still shitting your pants and crying that girls were having fun 3yrs ago at the EARLIEST#reaching so fucking hard to 'um ackshewally [thing that teenage girls like] bad' im shocked you didnt throw your fuckin back out#your arguments are nonsensical your positions reveal an alarming level of sexism and you should be ashamed#levi.txt#believe it or not im having fun rn. im funny complaining not angry complaining#w@rm b0dies isnt a Good movie but i will go to bat for it actually. let teenage girls have fun garbage#god knows adult men have enough of their own to choose from ESP in this genre#and its a movie that has a lot of interesting shit someone could analyze!! im focusing on it as a representation of changing feminism#but id love to see a reading of its portrayal of zombiehood as disability + its cure narrative#or critiquing how it writes its female characters bc admittedly theyre bad ngl#or on how survival is represented in comparison to films like zomb!e/and (which i also love) where you 'earn' survival with competence!#genuinely there is even smth to be said for the problematic nature of the brain eating element. id be intrigued by that paper#i dont think its much worse than the play the movie is based on? but its not nothing#it Is ultimately a little bit fucked up and i dont think the movie explores it enough#but noooooo we gotta talk about how the zombie is a narcissistic abuser bc of the brain eating. ok
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todayisafridaynight · 1 year ago
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STOP I OVERPLAYED ODE TO JOY WHILE LEARNING PIANO 😭😭😭😭😭
However! I am happy to share and am so glad you see the vision. Sorry In Advance to you and all your followers for the spam but here is a (mostly corrupted) office tour (please note the "Mine Power"-brand gym equipment):
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P.S. I recall really liking The Wings of the Kirin, please enjoy!
EVERYONE OVERPLAYED ODE TO JOY GROWING UP IT CAME WITH YOUR PARENTS FORCING YOU TO LEARN THE PIANO LERKJALEKJ
BUT OH MY GOD NO DON'T APOLOGIZE THIS IS LITERALLY PERFECT I thank you again for my life this is so important to me you have no idea
#fave#snap chats#'parents' more like my mom.#BUT YEAH I PLAYED ODE TO JOY ALL THE TIME GROWING UP TOO ITS WHY I HAD A STROKE AT THE END OF Y7 VLKALVJLK#getting the sims just to make mines apartment brb. fr tho why the fuck dont i have the sims thats Architecture Simulator#but more importantly i have a sick obsession with having the layout to buildings#i havent posted any of them but i have a bunch of sketches of various rooms/buildings in the RGG series#i dont imagine many people would want to see those so thats why i have them hoarded#obvi i ref them when drawing stuff but theyre also just fun to draw....#THIS type of stuff is BEYOND valuable to me tho this is my crack. my cocaine even. i live for shit like this#my dad used to be involved with architecture and real estate so i'm gonna blame him for that#BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY im saving all of these theyre so so so important to me i cant thank you enough#im sure others will greatly appreciate these as well#even if it's a bit 'corrupted' i can definitely DEFINITELY salvage these#im going to laugh if he has his own gym equipment brand. is that what his company's done this entire time#was his 'research' just gettin fuckin yolked Cant Believe This#i wonder if mine has a bedroom somewhere though i cant imagine it being in the same room as the piano. unless rich people do that.#theres just so much dead space in that area aside from the piano and it looks like to be a pretty sizeable room.. PURELY just The Piano Roo#like its fuckin luigis mansion over here. not impossible i guess. very strange thing to have. esp if its connected to the GYM#its not even in connected to the main part of the office where you can realistically be like 'lets go into the next room for piano'#you gotta cut through the gym first bro what the fuck is this#but what are those closet-esque bits behind the piano? unless im blind. what purpose would you have to put a closet in a piano room#if its sheet music you keep that under the chair or something#even through the mesh it still looks like those lead to a skinny hallway... idk im rambling#ill study these more in depth later BUT THANK YOU AGAIN#OH BUT i'm about halfway through the movie so far and im def enjoyin it !#i always like it in crime shows/movies where the answer seems Obvious at first but then as the case goes on its like#Oh God Wait. Hold On Let's Double Check#again i'm halfway through the movie but i always love it when i feel uncertain about the situation ☠️☠️#it's just fun watching all the pieces come together so yeah im def enjoyin !
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jamesunderwater · 1 year ago
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Tarot question, the high priestess!
The high priestess: what is your dream date?
Well, since it didn't say it had to be a first date I'm gonna say this would be with someone I've come to feel safe with but I'm still getting to know: we have a whole day set aside, and with a parameter of going at most maybe 2 hrs outside our city, we each pick a place that represents something abt the core of who we are. So I take them to the closest biggest body of water and tell them about growing up in Florida and how the ocean knows me in ways humans never can. Maybe they take me to a random town they've never been to before and we go antiquing bc they like seeing new places rather than old, and antiquing is what they did with their grandma growing up. Or, idk, they have us hike to the highest point within the radius and tell me how they like hikes with a challenge because when their legs burn and their heart rate increases they feel wild, like they belong there in the forest. And while we're driving we both play songs for each other that have meant something to us in our lives, taking turns, telling stories, their song reminds me of one from when I was 9 that I forgot existed, they haven't listened to this genre in ages and start remembering all the songs they used to love. When we get back to our city we get ice cream. I go home buzzing and dance around my apartment with my cats to one of the songs they shared.
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volfoss · 1 year ago
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I cannot recommend enough starting game series from the start. Both because if you get used to the clunky gameplay of earlier ones, the later ones will be easier (from experience, going the other way just makes the originals seem IMPOSSIBLE) and also bc it does in fact help w understanding the story. Also because honestly old games are so cool
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orcelito · 2 years ago
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:/
#speculation nation#the writer can see ur bookmarks u kno#who starts an almost 500k fic only to complain about the timeframe being too long#like look. i know ive taken too long on the past 10 chapters. im getting there.#ugh.#doesnt make me feel better about the newest chapter im working on bc it's the observance of a date that acts as the final look back#b4 really moving forward with things#'probably going to abandon but the first 30 chapters are worth the reread' well my dude ur gonna miss out on aaaall the fun i have planned#ive been trying to like. make it clear that im revving the engine so to speak. things r gonna start picking up again soon#but apparently not soon enough.#genuinely tho. it's nearly 500k words. what the fuck do you think that's spent on? continuous action?#no it's that long bc i love to do Reflection. character analysis. reactions.#and theres a lot of stuff that's gone into smashing all their relationships together and sorting out the pieces#i guess if ppl dont like character analysis & reflection theyre not gonna like my fic. especially not the more recent stuff.#but it's not like Nothing is happening. ive still tried to make things read well as i sort things out#feels ungrateful. like i dont have to be posting this ya kno lmao#if u dont like what im doing then fine. but you dont have to mention it where i'll see it and feel shitty about it.#i tried to be like 'it's a valid point and i guess it makes sense to want to include that in a rec'#but no this isnt a rec. it's a public bookmark. which i look to as a form of secondary comments when i havent gotten any in a while#and i was real excited to see one with a note. only to read a fucking. mixed compliment i guess.#genuinely tho im one chapter away from genuinely moving on with things.#if ppl cant deal with me having more of a character and relationship perspective (in the character and relationship perspective fic)#then theyre not gonna see all the fun and evil plans i have later on. soooo sorry.#god i try to not worry about what others think and just try to write what i wanna write. but im only human.#i want ppl to like what i write. why else am i posting it on the internet?#but it's 7 am after a very exhausting day & right before another very exhausting say#day*#and i just feel so undervalued.#waa waa waa sound of a fucking baby (me). whatever. i'll get over it i guess. just feels shitty.
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29121996 · 4 months ago
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#im gonna say smth and no one is allowed to say a fucking Word. i need to . type this out bc i cant Say It Out Loud#but . it is slighrly disgusting and patheyic (imo) and just . huh .#anyway . the tightening in evety inch of my body at the idea that . i might not get what i want (*) . but that even if i dont get that#ill get Something somewhat better n its just .#hard to swallow. bc im so tired for settling for what i dont want .#like letting go of shit ivrlly want for smth thats supposedly better for me#letting did not look like a real word just then what the fuck man#anyway . it is awful bc like . having so many realisations n realising that . ive forgiven a lot less and a lot worse .#n its a whole thing i cant get into bc im figuring out what exactly . thst sys abt me and where it stems from#it feels Okay . like its coming grom a Good Place. n not one of low seld worth#but like . having to possibly actually settle for less than what i actually want . is awful bc i dont like doing that and im tjred of doing#that. even if its good / better for me?#i cannot think of any other situstion simular rn other than yhe job fuckery. but . never wity a person#have i felt like this. n i dont know where or why its a Thibg. butcit is. ajd i dont know why hes fucking different.#but so much is out of my control !!!! and idk what to do anymore except just . keep pretendinf he doesnt exist#and moving like i did in high school: just zignoring how i feel bc i see the fucker constantly#it genuinely does parallel to hs rn how do i keep .#but also how is this a conpletely new situstion ive Never Exprrienced. how is this haopening to me.#i keep thinkibg abt the letter j wroye to my 21st (on my 18th) n i havent opened it#bc i missed opening it actually on my 21st. so i decided to live out actually being 21 before i#opebed the letter just to see how much had actually changed.#gonna open it aroubd my birthday. im terrified. bc i reread that letter 5x vefore wrappibg it uo. and ive thought abt it Constantly#to rmber its contents bc im Obsessed with it somehowm butbi still dont know .#i plan tocwritr another for my 25th. n 27th thrn again my 30th.#theyre fun lil time capsules . n its nice . i used to do 6montg to yearly ones but . shit got so bad i did Not wanna keep writing abt it .#so . this Will be fun . it was the 1st attemot at that too like . its why i started the 6mth letters bc i wanted to see the gradual sgifts#n reread them on my 21st but life had other plans apparently.#anyway.
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phagodyke · 6 months ago
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ahh.. I have tickets for a small music festival tmr which I went to last year + had a whale of a time but this year theres only like 2 artists I wanted to see but they released the schedule a couple days ago and neither are playing before 9:30pm. since I don't live local anymore I'd have to leave to travel back home around that time or I'd miss the last train... and there's not rly anywhere I can crash overnight there (and I was planning on going alone anyway like I did last year). so I think im gonna have to let this one pass me by :-(
#its not the end of the world like theyre not artists i LOVE love just ones i know and like a few tracks of#last year i had so much fun bc one of the artists there was an all time fave of mine. but yeah im not missing out on that this year#but its still a shame. i miss living there and being able to walk to gigs to easily like the music scene was so up my street!!#and i was kind of looking forward to it. but i shouldve planned it further in advance if i was serious abt going#i just didnt think theyd BOTH play so late???? i swear they had an earlier schedule last year#i guess i could just go and mill around some of the shows earlier in the day even tho ive skimmed most of them on spotify and theyre-#not rly my thing. sigh#im v tired + starting to feel quite sad this evening for some specific reasons i dont really want to think much about bc it is what it is#so its hard to imagine going out and having fun tomorrow. maybe ill just aim to get my chores done instead and see how i feel after that#i might fix my bike up and check the other local climbing gym out bc i havent visited that one before and itd be nice to mix it up#and i need to go out on the bike at some point this weekend so i dont build up anxiety abt it after yesterdays crash. hmm#man. its hard trying to do things solely for my own enjoyment sometimes. im usually pretty ok at making myself do it#and im grateful that i am! but i think im just feeling quite lonely. and not in a way where being around other people rly helps#like its more of a core thing. i feel kind of unseen by people in my life at the moment and that makes me feel like im not quite real#and i dont really know what to do about that. i think its why im still on my discord hiatus i just dont really have anything to say rn#ive felt this intermittently throughout a lot my life i think. but most of the time i can distract myself from it enough not to notice it#and i put the effort in socially regardless + usually when im in the moment it doesnt matter. but the stretches inbetween those moments..#its not unbearable and i dont feel that depressed at the moment either. just a bit lost i guess. i know itll pass eventually#but yeah it just keeps nudging up against me bc im feeling every little misunderstanding and slight quite keenly atm#ahh.. well its okay. ive never really needed much anyway im good at taking care of myself and thats enough to get by#ill do something nice for myself this weekend one way or another. im gonna go take a long shower rn i think and then read a bit#ah and i said i didn't rly want to think about it! but i guess i did... well i feel like i exist a little more for typing it out anyway#okay yes shower time now :-)#.diaries#maybe someday ill have ppl in my everyday life who i do feel seen + safe around. a girl can dream.. i have a lot of work to do before then
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officialinvisibleanon · 9 months ago
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RED ALERT RED ALERT
@officialreginaldcopperbottom IS TRYING TO REBOOT THE OFFICIALVERSE
MAN YOUR BATTLE STATIONS. MAINTAIN DEFENSIVE POSITION. I REPEAT, MAINTAIN DEFENSIVE POSITION. DO NOT GO ON THE OFFENSE.
LET THEM THROW THE FIRST PUNCH SO THAT WE CAN BLOCK IT. WE WILL WIN AGAINST THE ELDERS IF IT MUST COME TO IT
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