#ugh anyways yay drawing
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thenamessparkplug · 3 months ago
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jademmoth · 7 months ago
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Posting art again after months, hello chat
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20/10 stars little guy
#me (scrounging undetected autist whose ideal fashion sense is ''if i have to be seen at all: shrouded'') seeing encanto the other month.....#and on top of it all i LOVE slice of life. encanto being so focused on What It's About that there's so much of that + character / dynamic#also part of what i loved abt pixar luca. ppl like ''simple story but not a problem :)'' like YEAH thank god it's Also so slice of lifey#2021 what a year lol. though again i only Just saw encanto....tfw Studio Creative Control backs off a bit more than usual: Joy & Wonders#anyway i knew going in bruno wasn't an antagonist (fine if he was though b/c slay & b/c scapegoats can do whatever they want)#knew i'd love him b/c again Scapegoat shows up & i'm the Amazing Showstopping Totally Unique Never The Same gif on loop#but what a delight even beyond those expectations lol. love again how Focused the movie is on What It's About & Thee Points it makes#the Characters / Dynamics & the Metaphor & the plot stays right with all of that. the focus & importance re: thee scapegoats....#& bruno being disabled like whole layer of Yay Yay Yay spamming. that even when He's Back we're reminded he's not ''normal now'' or w/e#(i.e. presenting that as The Good Ending for the disabled outcast. vs just being embraced as part of the group again & accepted As He Is)#meanwhile was like hmm chat is there queercoding do we think? like is he queer: Yes. but is there coding? hmm#sure isn't cishet coded though. but i was also having the thought like fellas is it gay to [higher tenor tessitura or w/e] lol#made me go ''do i know this voice? ok do i know this name / face / actor? (i have never seen anything ever / bad w/names/faces/voices)''#indeed was like yeah haven't seen this; heard of this; seen it once ages ago no way i remember more than like 0.6 details#then from ''ohh haha I'm A Mammal That Cares....yeah i hear that'' to ''omg CHI-CHI RODRIGUEZ???? ;;0;;'' waaah fantastic revelation lmao#also the way Literal Future Seer ability was externalized to make it more wrangleable for plot is so impressive & fun & excellent#got a lot of [i like this thing i saw a lot] i got to say....guess i can do that w/the sideblog i made for one drawing i made last night#encanto 2021#bruno madrigal#also the way bruno is so Nervous + Hiding / Bold + Big Personality like yes ha ha ha Yes....tamped down as ''too much'' experience#also the [stuttering stumbling muttering mumbling] line: i fr nigh wept upon going back over a moment like what am i hearing here?#& realizing the answer was: it's bruno quietly stuttering a moment during this one line (& then (& then (& then)) i saw you) ;;;mm;;;#hang onnn....the first scapegoat who's driven off being Disabled is so real so ;m; that again they're like so he got Weirder; Okay ;;m;;#that we get jorge thumbs up nobody having an Aside to be like [ugh; this guy] or Anything. augh always have too much to say for 30 tags#fabric drape there sure not accurate but i was like okay if i try to really reference that i'm not getting this done tonight
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animeomegas · 4 months ago
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New Things and Misunderstandings - Naruto Omegas x Alpha!reader
A/N: Happy birthday @omeganronpa !!!! I can't write more because ow, but yay, it's your birthday! I don't know what this post is, I just picked a few of your favs and wrote about misunderstandings lol, but I hope you like it anyway lmaoooo ❤️🩷🧡💛💚💙🩵💜🤎🖤🩶🤍
Warnings: Just some innuendo lol. And me thinking I'm funny, that needs a warning.
Naruto
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*Sakura, Sasuke, and Naruto having a drink together*
Sakura: It's your birthday soon, right Naruto? Do you have anything special planned?
Naruto: Uh, not much. Work is crazy, y'know?
Sakura: Ugh, you don't have to tell me. I haven't got my birthday off from the hospital in four years.
Naruto: Yeah, it sucks. I'll probably just spend the evening at home with my alpha. I was thinking of asking for a quickie or something.
Sasuke: *grimacing* Tmi, dobe.
Naruto: What? I've never had one before, so I thought it'd be cool to try.
Sakura: Naruto! No one wants to hear this.
Naruto: Why? You don't like quickies? I always thought they looked tasty. I mean, they aren't ramen of course, but I always get birthday ramen from Ichiraku, so I can't ask my alpha to make it.
Saskue: ...
Sakura: Naruto, spell quickie.
Naruto: Um, okay? I think it's Q-U-I-CH-E.
Sasuke: 🙄
Sakura: 😠
Shikamaru
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Alpha: *in the middle of a chat with Kiba* -and Shikaku was so hot yesterday, it's kind of crazy, y'know.
*Shikamaru suddenly walks in, home from work, overhearing*
Shikamaru: What 😐
Alpha: Shika! You're home!
Shikamaru: What 😐
Alpha: We were just talking about how the aircon has given up in the jounin headquarters. You must have heard about it. The common room wasn't too bad once everyone opened the windows, but I was just saying that your father was suffering a lot in his small office.
Shikamaru: *visibly relaxing* Oh, I see. Yes, for once I've been grateful that Naruto keeps me in Hokage tower most of the time.
Alpha: Yeah, I bet!
Shikamaru: Okay, I'm going to take a shower upstairs, I'll be back in a bit. *Shikamaru leaves*
Kiba: ...
Alpha: ...
Kiba: Good save.
Alpha: Thanks 😅
Lee
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Lee: *sighs sadly*
Alpha: You okay, baby?
Lee: I... Do you think I'm intimidating? To our fellow Konoha shinobi I mean.
Alpha: I mean, I would hope that they have a healthy respect for your abilities, but I don't think people find you unapproachable. Why do you ask? Did something happen?
Lee: I overheard some people talking in the jounin common room. They were saying that they could suffocate in my thighs... But I would never hurt them like that, even in a spar. Do you think they're... afraid of me? 🥺
Alpha: ...
Lee: ...
Alpha: Oh, baby, no.
Shino
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Shino: *visibly relieved* Alpha, you're back from your mission!
Alpha: Yes... Is everything okay?
Shino: No... it's Shihori. I'm... I'm worried about her, but I didn't know what to do and you were away and I was scared I'd make it worse so-
Alpha: Woah, slow down. What happened? Is she okay?
Shino: She's... been drawing things. Horrible things. I don't know where she's getting it from, I didn't want to ask in case I made it worse! What do we do??
Alpha: Deep breaths, what sort of things has she been drawing?
*Shino anxiously opens a drawer and pulls out a stack of drawings. They depict large, scary creatures. A brown bear, a purple rabbit, and a yellow chicken. You immediately remember hearing your fellow parent shinobi complain about the latest horror video game trend that became popular with children*
Alpha: Ah. It's Freddy.
Shihori: *overhearing from the living room* YOU KNOW FREDDY, APPA?!?!
Alpha: Of course. And Bonnie. And Chica.
Shihori: 🤩🤩
Shino: 😧
Itachi
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Alpha: Oh, hey, you're back from reconnaissance. Did you catch them doing anything suspicious? Pein seemed really sure there were our guys.
Itachi: No. Unfortunately, they both kept entirely normal schedules for the day, as far as I could tell.
Alpha: Damn. So we came all the way out here for nothing?
Itachi: Not quite. While their conversation was mundane, I believe they may have been using a code.
Alpha: Seriously?
Itachi: Indeed. They mentioned at one point that their compatriots had been 'sixty-nining' each other. I believe that might have been code, although I am not sure of it's meaning.
Alpha: ...
Itachi: What?
Alpha: ...
Itachi: You recognise the code?
Alpha: *suddenly remembering that Itachi had no friends as a teenager and parents that taught him how to dismember people instead of teaching him anything about sex*
Alpha: ...I'll explain on the way back 🫠
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awwfur · 2 months ago
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WoF x TWST. Yuu, Grim, and the great seven.
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Master post More WoF x twst AU! More info and rambles past here
(And size chart at the bottom cause I know WoF sizes are wack)
Makes the most sense to start with Yuu first, yea?
Yuu: They get to be human still! Yay them! In this AU I wanted scavengers/humans to be extinct. Why? To make Yuu even more outta place. There’s a bit more to them as a character, but I’ll save that for the writing of the AU.
Grim: I played with the idea of making him into some kinda cat-like fantribe. But settled on making him still very cat like but with more dragon like qualities. Also bigger. And I’m still playing with the idea of him having a smaller form closer in stature to him cannon size. (So he can still ride on Yuu and have something unique to him) He was really fun and really hard to figure out, cause I almost made him more wild cat looking, but I didn’t end up liking it.
(I don’t plan on giving the ramshackle ghost their own full fledged refs, or even just head shot/bust refs. Apologies to all.)
and now onto the seven! Who I’ve turned from Disney Villains into WoF villains/antagonists (they are in order of left to right too to bottom)
Queen Scarlet: “The Scarlet queen” I know that an icewing might have been more fitting, with all the rules they have. But! I went for color pallet. I’m also heavily bias. So Scarlet gets to be queen of hearts
Queen Wasp: “The Queen of Tribes” a big reason for picking Wasp over Blister in place of scar is the fact that, well, she did rule over the silkwings for a good 50 years give or take. And I have this head cannon that she’s fair more clever than she’s depicted in the books.
Albatross: “The great seawing animus” I REALLY wanted Ursula’s WoF substitute to be a seawing. And there was NO WAY I was using whirlpool. (If you know you know) also I have him holding the drawing for the summer palace
Blister: “The sister of Brilliance” If this clever villain wasn’t getting to be the Scar stand in, she was going to be the Jafar stand in. (And yes I drew her holding the eye of onyx. If you know. You know.)
Chameleon: “The beautiful shapeshifter” okay. Scarlet would have gotten to be the Evil queen stand in if I wasn’t dead set on making her the stand in for the queen of hearts. So I had to pick the next best character. That being Chameleon. I don’t have any big reason for him being the Evil Queen besides the fact he has those scraps of scroll to turn into a few other tribes (I can’t remember if there were more than the Icewing, Nightwing and skywing. Because I wanna say he had four tribes he turned into) and also I have him holding Darkstalker’s scroll
Queen Diamond: “The queen of Ice” another one who I just kinda picked the “oh ugh-this’ll do”. I mostly picked her cause of the spell she cast on foeslayer to keep her trapped. So I guess she gets to be the Hades stand in.
Darkstalker: “The Darkstalker” that title is subject to change. But since he already had one in the books may as well use it! Anyway, it only made since to make the most clever and powerful Wings of Fire villain be the Maleficent stand in. Drew him when he escaped from under the mountain because that pose felt like the most powerful one for him. (Although like scarlet I’m very bias)
welp that’s the WoF seven (shockingly hard to pick who would be who. Besides Darkstalker he was easy)
Size chart time!
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The dragon examples are Skywings, and I’m of the belief that mudwings and nightwings are larger than skywings but I picked skywings to be the chart comparisons because not meany characters will be much taller or shorter than an average adult skywing. Well, besides the staff but that’s besides the point.
it also has Grim and Yuu because I feel it’s very important to know how tall these two are. (And if I give them exact measurements my brain won’t remember) I was also tempted to add in some kinda animal in here because we’re going largely with mega fauna and flora. But it made the chart crowded. But know I intend for even chickens to be larger than Yuu. (Or about the same hight not sure yet)
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cupcakeinat0r · 5 months ago
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Hiii!!!! How are youuu?? I hope you are doing well!! I can't wait for the next chapter of DadBod!Miguel! I am honestly so excited!!!
May I ask how you got into writing? And what tips do you have to start?? I feel like I have a billion of ideas but I don't know how to get them into paper.
Anyway, you don't have to answer if you don't want to. Just wanted to tell you how much I love your blog and your stories!!
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Omg haiii luv!!! Tysm for the ask <3 I’m doing well, thnx, hope you are as well <3
YAY it makes me so happy to hear that you’re exciteddd!!! I’m excited for yall to see what happens… all I’ll say is that I couldn’t stop giggling n twirling my hair n kicking my feet when I wrote it ☺️
Ugh, you’re so sweet, this made my night <3 messages and comments like these r really encouraging!!
Writing advice below!!! Cuz I wrote a lot n idk how to shut tf up!!! 🤭🤭🤭
Honestly, I only ever liked reading, I wasn’t into writing cuz I knew if I did, I probably wouldn’t have made any sense lmao. I think it was my first year of college when I took advanced essay classes (and got an A+ in both🤭). It was suuuper good practice for me, and it def helped that both of my professors were awesome. I did stop writing after that, but then lo and behold: Spiderverse happened. That’s when I redownloaded tumblr to join the atsv community, just to see what the other atsv girlies were up to, which then led to my smut addiction (oops), which led to the creative juices juicing. I def did NOT have the confidence to post it publicly, but I figured why not!! I’m doing this for myself!! I enjoy it!! That’s, like, the cool part of writing is that, and get this: you can write whatever YOU want. Crazy, right?????
Now, the hardest part is getting it on paper. Once you get over that hill, it’s literally so chill after that. What I do is I literally just list out specific things I want to happen for sure, and I list them chronologically, from beginning to end of the chapter, Drabble, etc. I also list certain dialogue that I want to be said as well, putting them chronologically, too. I do this because I find it easy to build sort of a “scene” off of them. Call it a skeleton, if you will. Then the rest of it sort of just… comes along. Outlines r literally my bffs <3 It might also help to literally just write out what the idea is specifically; what I mean is what sparked the idea? Is it a specific action? Is it a line someone said? Is it a specific occasion? Specific location? Just take note of it, and if u read it n draw a blank, come back to it later. Also, I promise, the light bulbs are gonna come at you in the most randomest of times… trust, it will come to you while ur, like, lying in bed at 3am, about to fall asleep.
I hope this helped, luv! Just have fun with it! And if you write something, pls, tag me in it <3 I wanna support u <3 Mwah!
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cdyssey · 6 months ago
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Elsbeth (1.07) Reactions:
Spoilers under the cut!
first episode I’ve gotten to watch live. :’) I cannot believe how fast I’ve fallen for this show.
KEEGAN MICHAEL KEY!! He’s looking so good.
I love that because elsbeth isn’t a whodunnit, the show can get away with casting insane guest stars for the culprits since it’s the “showcase role.”
It’s kind of delicious that Mr. and Mrs. Hayes are mutually down to murder akaksowkskwksosn—and in fact, it’s implied that this is far from the first time they’ve had to get rid of someone the hard way.
Relatedly, kudos to the creators and writers. all of the culprits have felt unique in their motivations, personalities, and skill sets so far.
“A long line of honorable men have worn this watch, and you desecrated it with that abominable dance.” FJSDJJS, god, Keegan is so funny.
THAT BLUE BLAZER AND PINK SHIRT!! The bucket hat!!!!
I appreciate that they’ve been consistent with having some of the detectives start to recur! Makes the show’s world start to feel lived in.
Both Donnelly and Kaya, shocked to hell: “You’re married?!”
Lol, Mr. Hayes is a sloppy murderer. He doesn’t try to look bothered at ALL.
Elsbeth housewarming party! Yay!!!
“People doing stupid stuff at a wedding—like having them! Sorry, bad divorce.” Gdkwkqkqkkw
I like how Detective Donnelly has clearly softened up a bit—she even seems a little fond of Elsbeth.
LOL @ THE BRUTAL CUT TO KEEGAN CONFESSING ABOUT THE AFFAIR ANSNSNANSNSNS. The show knew they had a comedian on their hands, and they were going to treat him well.
Ooooh, Keegan’s character knowing Claudia. Interesting.
Elsbeth’s dancing outfit!! The leg warmers!! The blue barrette!!!
Kaya and Elsbeth going out for a lady’s night!!
“A clown emoji was used.” [Cue Kaya laughing fondly.] 😭
ELSBETH NERVOUSLY TRYING TO SHUFFLE MONEY TOWARDS CAPRI HELP ME.
Ugh, love that coat on Kaya
I’m going to ignore the elsbeth would love to be Kaya’s mother-in-law quote for reasons.
Anyway, for totally unrelated reasons, do Kaya and elsbeth have a ship name yet. I’ve been calling them kayabeth in my head
Yay!! Love that Teddy’s gay.
Apparently, he doesn’t fall for kind or honest people
FJSDJDJSJ, elsbeth sticking the beer bottle near the golf cart pedal. She’s so fucking wild.
“Oh, you’re no dummy. I could tell that right away.” I love the moments when Elsbeth’s ruthlessness comes through.
The deputy(?) Dave might be the one covering up the Flair-All thing.
That rainbow sweater and the jacket Elsbeth originally had over it was a gay ass fit <3
Sorry, this case is bringing up some stuff.” Lmao, I like Donnelly. Her dryness is fun.
Omgg, Hayes and Elsbeth DANCING!! AKQKWKQOQOKSJS, Carrie Preston is a master of physical comedy
This was just an excuse to get Keegan Michael Key to dance and I love it
THAT CARTWHEEL WKWKDKWNSN
I love that they’re genuinely having fun together. One of the biggest draws of the show to me is the unique relationships that Elsbeth has with the culprits of the episodes. She’s out to get them, sure, but she takes great pains to understand them too.
THE WATCH!!!!! That was such a fun set-up.
Kaya is so fucking pretty.
The fact that she got Elsbeth a hook for all her tote bags. 🥺 A pragmatic and thoughtful gift.
OMG, THE DJ SON FROM THE SECOND EP! Nice continuity.
this apartment is goddamn gorgeous. All those windows feel very elsbeth.
WAGNER CONFRONTING HER!!!!!!! HHHHHHGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
DON’T DO THIS AT HER HOUSEWARMING PARTY!
Lieutenant Noonan… omg, I called it… but now that Wagner is saying the same thing, I’m back to the drawing board on whether I think it’s true or not yet. They’re doing a nice job of continuing to pull this tension in different directions.
This was a very fun episode. Keegan made for a great culprit, and there was a lot of awesome work in fleshing out different characters/dynamics in the main cast.
I’m so charmed by this show. 😭
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Hiya! If your still doing requests Could you do Murdoc x Fem girly reader headcannons
Reader is the complete opposite of Murdoc she is sweet to everyone, wears dresses likes pastel colours stuff like that. If that’s okay with you <3
Murdoc x Very fem pastel F! S/O
WRITERS NOTE: Hi! I honestly really like this request, I personally find any pastel style to be realy cool! But I do apologize I'm not good at gendered things- but I will try my very best! I hope you like the hc and that you have a wonderful day!
[ANOTHER NOTE: This is late again, life threw a wrench in my posting schedule again. Anyways have a lovely day, sorry for the delay!]
Edited: Nope
All art in this post is mine
TW: Curssing, Murdoc drinking, Murdocs childhood, Murdoc being a grouch, implied abuse?, spoilers for cracker Island, jealousy, insecurity, probably more but can't figure it right now- so just tell me any out standing ones I missed.
(Side thing: Murdocs shity behavior is not ok, it's toxic, I am not trying to indorse the shit he does!)
Characters:
/Gorillaz/
Murdoc(yay better murdoc drawing)
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How???
Sorry HuH???
Just how???
You are the embodiment of a kind person... and Murdocs..... a satanic piece of shit gremlin with anger issues
So to say everyone- including Murdoc himself was quite surprised
The band won't let him live down the fact you two are so different
They tease him a lot, but other then that that band absolutely adores S/O
2D has straight up asked you why would you 'date 'an asshole like Murdoc', it was very blut though there was no ill will behind it
Murdoc will Call you the normal nick names such a 'dove, babe, love, ect..' but he will most likly call you a bit more sweet things- in private obviously, but this often happens if he's ih a more sensitive state-
Whether that be when he's drunk, high, hung over, ect... he'll just tend to be a bit loving- his voice is almost tender
And he'll use pet names like 'babydoll, sugar, cutie, my star, sweetie, the occasional babycake's', but Murdoc could use those in a very teasing way too if S/O is the kind of person who tends to get flustered
"*hic* ya'know, I'ma start... *hic* call'en ya cavity..." Murdoc said sluring his words
"What, why?"
"*drunken giggle* Cuz' yer so cute *hic* dat'cha rot my teeth... heh.."
S/O looks so different when standing next to Murdoc that some people find it concerning
When out in public with each other at night(ie. Murdoc draged you to a bar with him), there has been at least one case of someone coming up to you in concern for S/O's wellbeing, thinking Murdoc was some creep following S/O, or the every so often waitress or waitor asking if you are ok, when you and Mudz are out on a date
Murdoc gets really pissed when this happens, so S/O will have to call him down
With pastel and bright clothes you gonna want to not leave them around Murdocs room/Winnebago because that shit will be stained to high hell(even if you need a black light to see the stains), and those stains will never come out, so be reaaally careful
He doesn't really understand why you like pastel & bright clothes or makeup- but he definitely thinks you look good in it so he won't complain- as long as you don't try and put any of that on him(at least in public)-
Listen hun, Murdoc has a reputation to uphold!- Murdoc would often repeat variants of that
"SSSZZ-SSTOOWWWPPHhhu- *hmph* I have a reputation- and YOU-" Murdocs points an accusatory finger at S/O "-Fuck'in... leav'en damn stupid... neon fuk'en PINK lipstick marks.. on MY damn FACE... BEFORE A DAMN SHOW..isn't help'in..."
"Why'dya got'a go'in be so damn cute... yer stupid 'KinDNeSs' making me look... ugh nice..."
S/O when their in the later phases and later in the relationship- S/O definitely made Murdoc more nice but only really around S/O- don't get me wrong when S/O's gone Mudz still a complete ass
But he tends to be more chilled out, Murdy once he got close to S/O, he really wanted her to like him- but this isn't uncommon with Murdoc getting scared his shitty behavior is gonna scare a person he genuinely cares about away
He's in complete denial about going any for of soft, and he just ends up acting like a piss baby-
"Wha'dya mean I'm go'in soft!?!" Murdoc said pulling away from S/O
"Babe. You're wearing the *insert random pastel themed character* shirt I got you..."
"...I-...I had nut'en else to wear.." Murdoc tutned away with a huff
"You walk around shirtless and in your underwear all the time- what changed?"
"...ShutUp-!..."
Or
"..Damn face ache..." Mudz slammed the door with a a groan, clearly agitated
"You ok dear?"
Murdoc turned to you and pouted like a bitter old man "Face Ache said I was going soft!!! Can ya believe that fuck'en nob!"
He's overall very bitter and sour about going soft, so don't tease him to much unless you want his grumpy-ness to turn into full blown anger
Murdoc like to send S/O pictures of things that remind him of her/her style
This is most often pictures of clothes, but it can maybe be a pic of a stuffy or somthing, these items are often pointed out by Noodle or even 2D
But when 2D talks about/points out things that remained him of S/O Mudz will most likely get jealous... and I think we can geuss how it usually goes from there..
Speaking of jealousy
Due to how nice and kind of a person S/O is to everyone, and how insecure Murdoc can be- he can get jealous pretty easy depending on the situation
And no it's not a 'ohh ahh, he's protective and loving' jealousy- no he's an insecure angry goblin man- only getting petty and aggressive, just sit him down and have a talk, he just needs some reassurance
To add to S/O dressing up Murdy. Murdoc refuses to match outfits, he refuses to let you do his makeup... or take pictures of it to show it to people at least..
Like my last statement implies Murdoc has let her do his makeup before, S/O just can't take pictures to show it around to people- tho this doesn't mean you can't take pictures at all
Because you can and you do, S/O has so many pictures of Murdoc in a skirt, or a full face of makeup, etc... and there all adorable even if Murdoc is pissed in all of them
Murdoc refuses to match your style or do any of the dressing up thing in public, or let any of it go out into public. He is stubborn and this is a big boundary for him, so please respect this.
This doesn't just apply to appearances, but just his stuff in general, so no cute neon stickers on things, or cutesy decorations without his permission. Murdoc stands firm on his decision so don't push to much he will get really agitated, and it might lead to a fight- like I said his stubbornness is off the chart.
Murdoc teases S/O quite a bit especially at the beginning of the relationship, and especially if its in earlier phases-
It's how he copes with nice people, Murdy isn't use to people being nice
Murdoc grew up with assholes, he was raised to be an asshole, and he was raised in a way to basically see kindness to be a form of weakness.
So him being shown kindness from this goddess, in response he freaks out a bit and just get really teasy out of defense at first
And knowing him, he might say some upseting things. So S/O has to walk very carefully around early phase Mudz or just a bit early in the relationship
Murdocs sweetheart of a girlfriend is gonna have to break down some walls, and honestly this applys to all and any relationship with Mudz- theres always a few walls to get through
But with any initial kindness there will be some extra defense put up by Murdoc
(I wanna talk about phaze 7 Mudz specifically for a second, so like spoiler warning I guess? )
Murdoc is firm on the fact what he is wearing isn't a dress- we all know what I'm referring to!
That thing he wears in the Cracker Island music video.
He referres to it by whatever it's actually name is(again I don't know, I'll edit it when I figure it out) or he calls them PJ's. He has referred to it dress like but never a girly dress like somthing S/O would wear- and he gets pissy if anyone goes around calling it that. Though in the passed Murdoc has probably worn a dress before.
(Ok weird tangent over, back to just general Murdoc)
Despite hating it when S/O does his makeup or dressing him up- Murdoc does love picking her clothes out and has more then once done S/O's makeup- and he isn't the greatest at first but he does eventually learn how to apply eyeliner without impaling your eyes
Murdoc while is proud of his work- will not stop laughing at how she looks after he's done S/O's makeup
Murdoc 100% underestimates S/O, he thinks S/O is one of the most pure things ever and he wants to mess that up ;)
JK- I'm just joking... particularly...
Anyway!-
He just kinda sees S/O as a bit of a childish innocent person who's oblivious to the world- like how else could you be so happy?
If S/O really is that innocent than good luck, becuase that sure as hell isn't gonna 100% last if she wants to stay with this Satanist
But if you arn't as innocent well then it's quite a pleasant surprise to Murdoc
It's up to you to determine how you want Murdoc to figure out S/O's lack of innocence but here are some examples
1. Murdoc used a horribly raunchy and crapy pickup line on S/O and she retorted back with her own, this left Murdoc flustered and stunned before he played it off pretty well. Mudz jokes about this later on because he finds this situation funny
2. Murdoc whilst pissed said some unsavory things, and S/O responds in a way that shows she understood what he just said, and Murdoc depending on how bad what he said was would either laugh it off or he would immediately choke on his own spit, then awkwardly defend himself
3. Very similar 1 but Murdoc made a dirty or just inappropriate joke and S/O expressed they understood and Murdoc would just burst out laughing
Just a few ideas- but it's up to you
But once Murdy finds out, him being the dirty little man he is- he's gonna tease you about it. Mudz sometimes mockingly treats you like a kid- with all good intentions of course
Either way innocent or not S/O is just as appealing- just in different ways
"Dove... your cuteness juz made me throw up'en my mouth.."
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siennaditbot · 1 year ago
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Just finished watching all of Kim Possible for the first time ever (and in English) and man, it's such a great show.
I did watch it as a kid whenever it aired in Finnish. (I miss those fun school mornings...) The dub was ok as well, though I won't go back to that again. Did check for some clips and I'm glad I was able to watch it back then, but CCR and Will Friedle are so good. The others are too, ofc.
Anyway, back then it was all tainted by my own feelings, cuz I too had a guy childhood best friend I had feelings for. I saw him and myself in them and wanted the same yadda yadda yadda. Well, stuff happened and we haven't talked in at least a year. No big, pfft.
At least this time I got to enjoy this show without them stupid feelings affecting my experience lol. (Except with the So the Drama "a loop has been formed and I'm not in it" and all the Ron feelings about Kim finding someone else. Ugh, been there.)
Anyway, binge watching gave me a completely new experience. Not much shipping related stuff in the first 2 seasons, though there were some I giggled over and replayed to analyze. Mostly just best friends being best friends. No significant awkwardness.
Seasons 3 and 4 though? GAHH. So much ship teasing. Emotion Sickness is my absolute fav episode with Kim getting a device that controls emotions and makes her fall in love with Ron, and the guy's so confused but also so so lovestruck. (He didn't know abt the device at first btw)
I love all those soff little Ron moments, I keep replaying them over and over.
"It (them dating) could happen!"
"It's not that I haven't thought about it, I mean who hasn't?"
"What's not to like about Kim? She's smart and cute..."
"Something's different now. I mean there's something between us... Who am I kidding, that's not different. There's been something there for a long time. I think there's something there. Does she?"
Gahhh I love soff Ron so much.
Also yes I am the type to rewatch all the soft and kissy scenes over and over, there are others too since compilation videos exist!!
Anyway, just realized how most of their kisses are initiated by Kim, but my favourites? (Lol that feels cringe to say. Fav kisses? Pfft) Either both going in or initiated by Ron! (The Emotion Sickness one is great too, Ron's so love struck!!! Adorable.)
-> So the Drama dance scene (THEY'RE SO SOFF GO LOOK AT THEIR FACES), one where they run into each other's arms, and the final one where Ron places his hands on her face and goes in first.
I never knew how much I wanted to do a forehead touch->kiss or have someone hold my face like that.
Also S1 EP1 Ron voice superiority. So low and cute. That makes me swoon. Gahhhh. Rewatched the first few minutes and DANG I WISH HE KEPT THAT VOICE. I'm barely able to form a sentence rn. Gahh.
Also adore all the denial scenes, Kim's too. Girl's so jealous of Yori. "Awk-weird" to bring your best friend as a kinda date to an event? Oh yeah, feed me. I love the awkward pre-dating stage so much that I'm mad my Sonic fic doesn't have more of it lol.
All the tiny nods to stuff changing during season 3? Ron going "She's not my girlfriend!!" to Shego of all people, all of a sudden and without probing, just cuz she asked where Kim was! I love him.
Also, the theme song is banger. Also also, I set the communicator beep-beep-be-beep as my notif sound. Kinda confusing while watching, though, heh.
Was that all? I think so, maybe. I'm pretty sure no one will read this but hey, what is Tumblr for if not stuff like this. Yay for fictional men and couples!
As a final note, I don't think Ron's an absolute swoon worthy guy (barely feel compelled to draw him), I just appreciate guys being soft. Yes, go talk about your feelings and yes, stutter your way to victory!
Anyway, now I'm done.
I'mma throw some gifs under the cut though.
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JUST LOOK AT THEM AND THEIR SOFF FACES AND EYES AAAAAAAAAAA
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sanfezu · 2 years ago
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may I please feel something? pretty please? no? okay— that’s fine. that’s okay. yeah, okay. s’fine. thanks.
I… do not know what this is, but… it… is something…… I guess, idk. idk what I feel about this—… I can’t feel anything at the moment anyway—… wait again… uh— that was fast huh…
…uh… really dazed confused donnie w/ nosebleed… uh... yay…? uh—…
also first time drawing Leo-kinda… yaaay…???…… ugh, what.
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polyphonical · 10 months ago
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Bridal - Chapter 2
[ View on site for better experience♪ ]
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Location: Studio
Kaoru: Excuse me…?
Oh, it looks like the “helper” isn’t here yet. Yay, Anzu-chan and I can be alone~☆
Hey hey, let’s not waste any time and get started. When this is all over, we can go downtown to the shopping center.
A date… We could talk about the photoshoot as well, so it's fine right?
Izumi: Hey, you’re in the way~. Could you not stand in the middle of the doorway like that and just go in already?
Kaoru: Woah, you scared me!? What is Sena-kun doing here?
Ah, there’s no way Sena-kun is the “helper” you mentioned, is there!?
But wait, even Anzu-chan is saying “that’s not true” so… Ehh? Really, why are you here?
Izumi: Ughh really, this is such a pain~ Why do I have to explain every little thing?
Kaoru: No no, you can’t just say “this is such a pain~” explain properly?! Even Anzu-chan is surprised... What are you doing here Sena-kun?
Izumi: Jeez. Really, why do I have to explain everything… That damn Naru-kun…
Anzu. You originally asked Naru-kun to help out with this gravure photoshoot right?
Well, Naru-kun couldn’t make it since she got called in suddenly for a job. I got asked to fill in for her instead.
Kaoru: Ohh. It’s true that it’s a gravure photoshoot, so having a model help out would be really helpful.
But Anzu-chan, aren’t you scared of Sena-kun?
Izumi: Hah? Then why is Anzu behind my back right now? If she was so scared of me, she wouldn’t even want to be near me.
Kaoru: Huh? When did that happen!?
Why, Anzu-chan? You’re much safer with me then with Sena-kun y’know?
Izumi: I don’t really care either way. Since we cleared everything up, can we just get started now?
I want to get this over with already so I can go home. Ugh, why do I have to do this even though I’m taking a break from modeling?
What, Anzu? Why are you smiling like that?
…Hah? Because I still came?
I already told you. Naru-kun asked me to do it. Even if I said no, she would just keep pestering me until I agreed anyways.
Hakaze, if we’re going to do this, we’re going to do this right. If you treat this like some average photoshoot, we won’t get anywhere.
Kaoru: Ooh, you’re so enthusiastic, Sena-kun~
You said you were taking a break from modeling, didn’t you? Will you be fine? If you’re drawing up blanks, how can you teach me properly?
Izumi: Don’t treat me like I’m one of those average models. I’m not on hiatus because I’m in a slump. If I wanted, I could go back to modeling right now.
Kaoru: Really? If that’s the case, why are you on a break?
…Ah, is it because you’re focusing on being an idol right now?
Izumi: That’s partially it. …Wait, this isn’t about me. We’re focused on your ability to model right? 
First, let’s do a practice run to get a feel for where you are right now. We can work on it from there.
Kaoru: Right right, as you wish~
Anzu-chan, watch me okay?
…Ahaha, don’t worry, okay? I’ll just do things how I usually do, so I’m sure I’ll be fine. I might even get an OK on my first try?
Hmm~ Anzu-chan. If I get an OK on my first try, could we go on a date?
See, if we hurry up and finish the job, we’d be able to go downtown like I was saying earlier. We got a bit distracted when Sena-kun came~
I wanted to ask you properly ♪
Eh, we can? Ya~y! You never know unless you shoot your shot huh ♪
I’m all fired up now~ Since I’m in top shape, I doubt that Sena-kun has anything he’d need to teach me. Super sorry if that happens~
Izumi: Yeah yeah, whatever. Can we start now?
I’ll take the picture, so just get in your pose.
I’m telling you right now, I’m strict.
Kaoru: I got it~
『Give me your hand, princess. I’ll make you the happiest bride in the world~♪』
(Fufun, that felt good! Sena-kun won’t have anything to say if I keep it up.)
(I was a bit worried since it was a bridal shoot, but it seems like it’ll be okay if I just do things like a normally do)
(Huh, this might go easier than I expected?)
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bonesandthebees · 1 year ago
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BEE IM SO EXCITED LETS GO OKAY GLASS FIRST WOOO THIS IS ALSO GREAT BECAUSE IM GETTING MY HAIR DONE RN AND NEEDED SOMETHING TO DO
ahhh thats the palace hes there in there in that yep
he might as well be dead i mean the pythia that he once knew is dead
flashback wooooo
your descriptions are alwasy SOOOOO
GOOD LIKE IDK THEY JUST AHHHHH
omg theyre at nikis right probably
“my pythia” why dont you go crawl up you own a— anyways. this is a pg zone (i just dont curse)
i want to slap him around a bit, just a tiny bit just like hang him from the ceiling and wack him like he’s a piñata at a five year olds birthday
THEY ARE AT NIKIS
TATTOO
HES DOING IT ISIRJSF ANDOQLFNWIF
tommy is so baby brother
NOTNIN THE PHYSICAL SENSE *spins around very quickly like a tornado*
WHO HE IS OH MY GOD BEE
why is schlatt
i think schlatt would look nice with a black eue it would bring out how much kf a d— anyqays
TAKE THAT SCHLATT
i need more people to draw this tattoo because every singly one is so ahhhhh like i have no clue how this is supposed to look bjt every design peiple make makes sense and i need more im so curious to see how people see
i love the way wilbur thinks i want to take his brain and poke around in it like its so intriguing
also like idk as a person feeling your pulse is always so… intimate? i do it a lot, like just feeling my pulse reminding myself that im human, we all have a pulse. idk its comforting in a way just feeling the way the blood pumps through your body regardless of the world, that youre alive no matter what as long as that blood keeps pumping. like even when everything feels out of place, youre still human.
sorry anyways
anywho thats why hes fiddling with the cuff then hes nervous aboht them seeing
UGH HES SO ANNOYING I WANT TO CHUCK HIM ONTO LIKE I-5 OR SOMETHING
im gonna send a prayer your way schlatt.
GO WILBUR GO
god hes so idk his brain man and the way you write and god i love this fic so much
WHY DOESNT IT FEEL LIKE MINE AHEOHEIFJWO SO WOROWKK OK DA P WAS HEQID
im cool and chill
the vessel.
yep.
cool.
thats cool.
HES WILBUR
i just like god this fic man
ah yes tommys tattoo
just saying on… july 28th i said it was from wilburs murder attempt!! im so smart sometimes
HE DOENST WANT TO BE EMPTY AGAIN WHAT RHE FUEFUVJ
anyways im so normal aboht this fic
oh me too wil lets fist bump over our shared fear of failure and disappointment
me when he realizes that they werent empty he jsut didnt know they were allowed to not be empty
THEYRW FMAKILTLY OU YK EGOD THEY MEHM
BROTHERISHD OH MY GODHD I LOVE RJEM
BOOM AH
GUNSHOTS AH
HIS UBER DRIVER IS HERE YAY!!!!
TOMMY!!!!!!
HIS HROTHERUWIDHS IM NEVER GOING TO HE OKAY WHEN THEY SAY THAT
i loveddddd the way you formatted it it was super neat and idk im just a sucker for interesting formats of swifching between past and present and like idk yeah it was cool
AND NOW OFF TO READ THE ROYALTY AU!!!
- 🪿
hi goose this is a few days old now but finally getting around to answering this!
aaa thank you I'm so glad you like my descriptions :D it was definitely a bit tough getting back into the glass writing groove with the style I use for the descriptions and stuff so I'm glad it turned out ok
"my pythia" made my skin crawl to write
YEAHHH TATTOO TIME. every single time I see fanart of the tattoo I freak out (/pos) so much because all the interpretations are SO cool. I love seeing what people come up with because I myself have no artistic ability, I can only describe what's in my head through words, so when people are able to actually put that into art form it just makes me so happy
yes exactly that's why I wanted it on his pulse!! I wanted it to sit right over the reminder that he's human! that he has blood pumping through his veins! everyone has that blood and that heartbeat and I wanted the tattoo to sit right above that both because of the connection to his heartbeat, but also because it's the place other people can feel your pulse. it's the connection point almost between your pulse and others, if that makes sense.
(random fun fact, I can't feel my own pulse on my wrist. doctors and nurses can't get a pulse from my wrist either. like there have been many times I've gone to the doctor and the nurse has tried to take my pulse and they frown and readjust their hand and then they try the other wrist and no matter what it doesn't work and I'm just sitting there. the only place you can get a pulse off of me besides straight up feeling my heartbeat is on my carotid artery on my throat)
aa thank you I had a lot of fun describing wilbur's thought processes in this chapter, especially with the alternating format
you were RIGHT about the vine tattoo you got it and it was so funny I had to just not say shit but i was like yup, several people have already figured it out :)
HIS UBER DRIVER IS HEREEEEE
aaa I'm so glad you enjoyed!! I had so much fun with the format of this chapter. I plotted it out a bit before my trip, and I specifically wanted to finish ch 25 before my trip because I knew ch 26 was going to be the one I'd most want to write after I got back. I needed a REALLY good exciting chapter to come back to and the alternating format was going to be the way I sucked myself back into the story after being out of that headspace for 3 weeks straight, and it worked. it was just so cinematic in my head y'know? I can perfectly picture the flipping between past and present with like different color grading and lighting and music and all that
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joelwindows7 · 1 year ago
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Here are some 🫀💓🩺 Homestuck fanfic I made
As a sketch for my game in the future.
All text, I'm sorry gamers, got no draw right now. I hope still fun to read no matter what.
Also I am still in the long queue line for AO3 atm.
Here cardiophile documents pls
GitHub, what the hell?!?! The ~ ~ single tilda is subscript!! Not ~~~~ double tilda striketrough!! Ugh, who's the fault here?
Anyways, enjoy heartbeat moment in Homestuck, while I'm still waiting for Archive of Our Own. Damn! So long, didn't see how many Creative minds here. Or perhaps, we are scalped??
What's the big deal?
I have started getting into Homestuck fandom recently, so let's fork Homestuck franchise bring it here. Wow, so complicated, this franchise is very difficult to handle so screw it! I'll just manually yoink things instead. Scratches, Retcons, merge, all merge. Any other stuffs, change it up. Yadi yada.
Now, for Nepeta, I gave her a Stethoscope. Yeah you know, I like heartbeat. And there is not many heartbeat moment in Homestuck right official or fan. I do it.
Fun fact, look at this wikia, the trivia. This green is also the Green Chakra, which is Heart. Wow, coincidence? I don't think so! Well, at least made it all sense. Here in Perkedel Cinematic Universe, made the connection the most prominent, that Nepeta is cardiophile, yay!!! Cool and good.
by JOELwindows7
Perkedel Technologies
CC4.0-BY-SA
Here some random nepeta gifs from the button so it made to the SEO better
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hexitca · 2 months ago
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Lol I was at Barnes n Nobles today bc it was next to the store I was in and I didn't see any of the Trigun Deluxe books (i was just curious haha) so either they don't have them out or something but mine is coming in the mail tomorrow yay~
But I got other goodies:
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Wind Breaker anime was so good I got the manga haha but no I know I can "find" it but idk I really like the art so I thought why not lol I haven't collected Manga in a LONG time and the ones I kept being my most special (to me). If I'm building my collection with Trigun why not another lol
Strangers in Paradise is such an amazing series!! I've read it but the art is so amazing and the story UGH they had all 3 volumes but I thought let me not go crazy. Terry Moore's art esp how he draws women inspires me so I figured i need to have it in real life.
I somehow lost my school copy of P&P during the many times I moved so I got a fancy copy lol been wanting to re-read it anyways.
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livecharliereaction · 4 months ago
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U know what. Im reading the umi mangas but instead of making proper separate tags and all im just going to dump it all in one big post under the read me for each existing tag #Yay
Id like to read it on my own unfortunately im obsessed with Talking
Starting from ep2 cos i feel like it
Obvious spoilers im not going to pretend like i havent read all the vns
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Shes so cute
Actually think about her and george a lot recently. From what i think shannon is.... its very very sad to me actually... shes living a sort of bride fantasy but its not with the one she REALLY wants right... And i find it interesting that most people default to calling yasuda sayo (i think it suits her enough and im used to seeing it around too) but the idea of her "true name" being the one that is exclusively used by george in the series is kind of interesting to me... some sort of declaration... I think this manga will overall make me decide what to call them anyway im using yasuda right now to make sure its not confusing but yeah ok
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Actually not sure how to interpret that belief of hers either... Im still not completely sure on what i think magic means like i think the simple answer is Love but. I dont know
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ALREADY PUNCHING ME IN THE FACE WHAT? KIYO?? Ok maybe thats why then. Hmmmh.
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This scene i briefly forgot about actually but i did remember it the other day and out of all the magic items and stuff the mirror thing is the most obvious. So awesome
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They draw her insane pretty im kinda obsessed
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jessica said georges into "family oriented girls" oughhhh I was thinking about this too well not this exact scene but i did notice shannon visibly get a little quiet whenever george brought up kids. I used to hate the couple so i just assumed it was just their dynamic like george says things and shannon seems like she doesnt even like him But yeah.
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Eva one of the people ever isnt she.
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Well she does too #HALF COUSIN
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UGH. i love her. one reason i wanted to read was to check some subtle things i didnt pay attention to for example is shannon+kanon the only person to call herself furniture? like eva here saying shes worthless n shit but not using that word. Another thing i wanna see how often those two are in the same scene and generally just idk staring at them
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Hi kanon. Lmfao i was reading my old livetweet i kept saying he looks like a girl. Yeah. Kanon shannon appearance counter: theyre both here yes but theyre alone
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Bae. I missed her. Omfg is she lowkey being born here. I think she doesnt appear in ep1 except maybe tea party... Oh man
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like u see it right. im not sure how long ago this was though i forgor even though they just said it. less than 6 years surely
yes ok i checked it was... lets think
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i love them
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this too makes sense to me even more now. She wouldnt want to end up too close to george like physically i dont mean sex necessarily but like, at all and george is sheepish enough that he might not even have asked
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jessica ur so fun to me. favorite cousin? ohhh but i love maria too But jessica is up there. I love her so bad
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Now this is funny as hell to me u know. she was saying she wants a boyfriend tooooo and look whos going to show up sooner or later Extremely funny. I remember thinking her and kanon were super crazy good so... I want to OBSERVE
theyre talking about the affinity for seeing magic CLICK CLICK CLICK i dont remember exactly WHO was able to see beatrice surely it was just maria and well shannon and kanon
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ugh
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There it is #REAL ohh but i like the vn translation phrasing better
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EYES WIDE OPEN. KANON IS STANDING THERE WITH HIM
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LMFAO. I think he means it too... But it was shannon who suggested to jessica shed do it too... These things can coexist to me
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they made him look CRAZY hes complaining. Ok gender dysphoria!
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shes so cute i understand what happens next kiss kiss fall in love
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Wait i dont like a lot of kanon depictions besides og sprites but i like this he looks CRAZY
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OH GIRL SHE DOESNT KNOW WHO SHES TALKING TO ITS SO CRAZY.
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Apparently theres a 30 image limit per post but thats ok im alr like 1/3rd done with this ep so ill just split it up. ANYWAY I FORGOT THIS IS HOW HE ANSWERS ITS. He was NOT thinking about it before this. Oh ur crazy. Since the sayo thing bothered me i thought about it a lot too like why yoshiya where does it come from. Im sure theres something w the letters n stuff but idk japanese so i wont know. Yoshiya
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kart0 · 5 months ago
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Little update !
Heyyy everyone !!!! Just wanted to write lol
So last update I told you I was going to my psych appt but she fucking cancelled it ? And then I rescheduled and then she just fucking bailed on me and didn't even show up to her own clinic ? Anyways I got very very upset and angry bc apparently she was TRAVELLING TO FUCKIGN NEW YORK ????????????? y'all...istg I must be a fucking saint to tolerate shit like this. Maybe I'm too passive...I didn't even allow myself to get mad and tell her but anyways. I guess I just am too used to sucking things up.
Ok so she told me to lower my dosage, and now I'm like ? Hm, I don't think so. And I might have done something really stupid ?
And I do not recommend anyone to do this PLEASE DON'T, TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR ! Erhm.... I might have stopped taking my meds ? For like. A month now ?
It kinda just happened honestly... I didn't have money to buy them, and then I started to forget taking them everyday, and then I guess I just. Idk I just stopped taking them ? And I only did that because I felt ok ? Not too bad, not too good, normal actually. And I know this is such a stupid part of me but I don't really think the meds were working anyways ? And since I dont feel bad, I guess I just. Do not care ?
I don't know ? I haven't been very anxious, I haven't been depressed, my mania ended a few days ago, I feel, normal. And ok. Idk ? When I got depressed it felt really debilitating but then I suddenly became maniac and it was over very suddenly and now I feel better. The only thing tho is now my sleep schedule is FUCKED. But idk ? Nothing else tbh ?
And I do not advise anyone to do this, I am making sure to say it as many times as it takes !!!!! Please ! I am saying dumb things I am not a doctor I have not studied medicine I have no idea what's going on !!! But I do know my body, and I can tell how I feel. And for now, I feel ok.
I am currently tabling at this anime convention and it's been taking my time for many weeks now, preparing merch and stuff, and now it's finally happening and ? It's very.... Idk ? Idk ? Idk idk I forgot the word (I'm not a native English speaker btw) it's when something goes below your expectation ? The event pretty much flopped, the tables were expensive, and I didn't sell too much. Idk ? Today's the last day (thank GOD, I forgot how much of a hassle and a pain and how tiring it is) so let's see how this will go.
I am so excited for my winter break tho !!!!! Can't wait to just play games and draw fun stuff and rot. Yay ! Soon.....
Also ! Haikyuu movie is finally here in Brazil !!!!!!! YAS !!! I AM SO SO SO HYPED AND EXCITED ! I haven't gotten tickets yet ofc cuz I'm busy but soon...soon my dear...
And ? It think I might have a little infatuation with this guy on my class. He is very, and I mean, VERY, handsome, and pretty, he's so good looking, I'm embarrassed to interact with him, and I get all awkward and shy. I just forget how to behave normally ? And I try so FUCKING hard to act normal (more than usual since..I act like this all the time. It's the tism) anyways and I found out he's not actually dating anyone ? Last year I knew he had a gf (she's in my class too) and I swore they were still together, but just were very low profile. Turns out no they broke up. Ugh I just. And he makes silly jokes of me and just, acting like an annoying little shit (he's the youngest sibling) and keeps saying I'm bald and stuff like that (just cuz...I dyed my hair blond ? Idk what his thought process is) anyways so like. I can't even tell if he likes me as a person ? He also keeps saying fuck yourself constantly to me . Like. Uhm ? Idk ? I am very intimidated by him but I can't tell if it's because he's the most beautiful person I've ever seen or if it's cuz of these "jokes". At first I thought it was very mean, and I tend to take things vry literally so I tried my best to not interact with him because i didn't want him to keep saying mean things, and didn't want to ruin even more my reputation or what he thought about me, but then I realized he jokes like this with everyone ? Which, honestly, is very very stupid. Hes a little stupid. I think it's because he's a man.
Anyways, I'm just so confused. I'm trying not to think too much about it because I tend to over project and my mind spirals and I start imagining scenarios and I might get confused and convince myself I have feelings that I might not really have ? Idk... I know I'm a romantic for sure so like. I tend to imagine too much idk idk idk so I keep trying to rationalize and think straight. Like, we don't even get along that well ? I think ? I don't even know if we're even friends ? I know he knows prettier people than me. I'm not very good looking. I'm not very nice too. I'm not good at anything really, and I don't have a very good personality. I am just not good. I have a friend and she's so sweet, and her nickname is "jesus". Cuz she's just nice and hardworking, and she always tries her best. And... I won't lie. I really really like her, and I can tell you all these things are true about her. And...it makes a little. Envious. I wish people thought about me that way I wished I was naturally good, and not having to try my best and work to be normal every single day. I wished people would see how much I'm trying. I really really am trying. But it's just not a natural thing to me, I guess. I always, constantly have this feeling, that I'm always performing. Someone is always watching me. And I always have to be my best and try hard and I just. I force myself to be nicer, more considerate, more careful, more thoughtful. Because these things just don't come up to me naturally. I am not good. Sorry for the rant.
Ugh. I think I just am forcing myself to feel something, y'know ? I've always dreamed about falling in love. I don't think I've ever did. Nor will ever do. I am pretty sure I'm aroace anyways.
Ugh. Ugh ugh ugh. Why are boys so stupid.
I just hope things don't turn out the way it did before, with my ex best friend. To sum up, he had feelings, I THOUGHT I had feelings too, but I just really really liked him, as a friend. As a best friend, in fact. So I ended up things and we just. Don't talk or hang out anymore. Which made me pretty upset, and made me think I might had actual feelings. Turned out I was just fucking lonely and miserable, and he was my ONE ONLY friend. Now that I've been hanging around with my uni colleagues, I don't feel that alone anymore. I made more friends ! Yay !
Also ! Happy pride month ! Happy to say that it's been some months since I came out as gender fluid, and I am so proud and never been better and as confident ( with my physical appearance) as I was before !
Ugh anyways, thanks for listening to me. As always, I will try to work on myself and become a better person every day. Thank u all !
Oh ! Ps: I've been slowly eating more ! I might fail sometimes but I've been making sure to at least go to bed with a full stomach. So I won't wake up dying and feeling miserable and in pain. So this is an improvement I believe !
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