#((I think this makes it easier for people to read ))

[nooby1332c]

polytrix, dating but they dont know it yet or wont say it because god forbid they assume wrong

Zoey fiddles with the ribbon on one of her bouquets, wrapping and unwrapping it around her finger and bouncing on the balls of her feet with frantic energy.

God, what was she thinking?

Getting her "girlfriends" flowers, and only then when she's infront of the door to their penthouse, realizing that they never referred to each other as such.

They were bandmates, family— soulmates, even.

But girlfriends? Hoo boy, they never called each other that, why would she assume such a thing?

And yet she's here, flowers in hand like a god damn creep. Did she really think her two goddesses would be into her just because they're teammates? What would they even think?

Her mind spins with a hundred scenarios and a million insults they could throw her way. 'Zoey these flowers are ugly.' 'Did you really think we'd fall in love with you?' 'Hey Zoey what made you assume we're more than just friends?'

"Hey Zoey what are you doing standing at the door like that?"

Yes, exactly like that.

WAIT SHIT—

Zoey fumbles and quickly hides the two large bouquets behind her back, she can feel her face flushing and God, how long had mira been standing there? She probably looked like an idiot just standing in front of her own house like that.

"I've been watching you vibrate in place for an entire five minutes," she nods. "And yes, you did. But don’t worry, you’re cute."

Zoey didn't think her face could get any redder, but the way Mira was looking at her, eyes half lidded and gaze intense, she thinks she could melt.

Mira walks back into their living room and Zoey follows, shutting the door behind her. Rumi is boredly scrolling through her phone on the couch but she perks up when she sees Zoey, eyes shining with so much affection that almost makes her forget what she was worried about.

But those same eyes find the thing that Zoey has been trying to hide behind her back. "What’s that?" she asks, innocent and excited, and full of love (god she hopes she isn't reading it wrong), and Zoey doesn’t think she can find it in herself to even attempt to lie.

She takes a deep breath, counting down with the technique that Mira, (kind, caring, and protective Mira) taught her.

She takes a deep breath, and holds out the bouquet for both of them to take. Bows down low low low it would put the Saja boys to shame.

"THANK YOU FOR BEING THE MOST AMAZING PARTNERS I COULD ASK FOR"

Is this how people confessed? She's never done it before.

But looking at the way Mira holds the bouquet with so much care and the way Rumi caresses the petals with so much reverence, Zoey thinks no matter what happens, this has been worth it.

She stands there in silence, watching them admire her gifts. Zoey knows their favorite colors, and she knows they didn’t know much about flower symbolisms.

(She knows Mira loves red because it feels like intense anger and passion. She knows that Mira loves red too, because it's the color of love.

She knows Rumi's hair is purple but she loves the way yellow complements it. She knows Rumi loves purple but gold and yellow were her favorite.)

The silence was broken by Mira, kind and gentle in ways Mira doesn’t associate with herself (but Zoey and Rumi do.) Zoey thinks she doesn’t mind getting rejected, if she's rejected like this.

"Zoey, this has been lovely," and there it comes, the rejection, "thank you."

Her hands come up in defense, her tongue ready to spew paragraphs of apologies — always quick with the platitudes. Before logic and reason, Zoey's first instinct had always been to provide comfort and seek familiarity — but then Mira's words finally register in her mind. And oh.

Oh.

Sha was thankful.

Mira was looking at Zoey like something important, and Zoey finds that she can breathe easier.

Rumi smells the flowers, a small peaceful smile gracing her lips. "Thank you," she says, like it’s a secret. And Rumi had always been secretive, and Zoey is glad to be trusted with this one.

Zoey feels the tightness in her chest fall away like threads unraveled, and she thinks — she's already given her entire self to these two, what does she have to lose?

So she says it, three little words whispered in the air like a sacred promise, a fundamental truth.

"I love you."

She says it, because she believes it. And she believes it because why wouldn’t she?

(She finds that it really wasn’t impossible to hear those three words echoed back.

She loves them. They love her.

And wasn’t this the love they've known for years?

The love that forged their souls and weaved their souls and had connected them since before they knew each other.

Why did she ever think she could be denied this love.)

[manzix]

--- Shared Silence ---

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Pairing: Sophia Laforteza x gn!reader

Synopsis: "What if the person who saw you best never even looked at you?"

Warnings: angst, use of you/they/them

Notes: Inspired by Infrunami by Steve Lacy but I made it literal lol. I remembered a story similar to this but I can’t remember the name of it so credits to that too. Also not proofread so sorry about that.

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It wasn’t like this before.

The world once had shape — not just outlines, but colour and texture. The way rain danced on the pavement. The way puddles rippled. The way traffic lights glared too brightly. The way faces shifted — how brows furrowed in traffic or softened when people got distracted by their phones. All of it taken for granted, right up until the day it started to fade.

Now? There are only echoes, earthy smells, and bitter tastes. The rough texture of your cane. Sounds, sensations, memories — all with no anchor. And silence. Heavy, waiting.

You didn’t notice her getting on at first. 

The bus was late. It was one of those humid mornings that pressed against your skin and made every breath feel thick. You were already seated — first row, left side, window seat. The one behind the sign that reads “Reserved.” It used to mean nothing. Maybe it once meant something, but not for you.  Now it felt like a quiet declaration, a sign of weakness, and you hated it. 

You hate how it makes you feel vulnerable. So, you avoid it. You avoid sitting in that chair, in that specific area — but you're too afraid to sit far from it. Too afraid of being a burden to others. As much as you are to yourself.

You wore your sunglasses like armour. Thick black frame, smooth across the temples, the kind people assumed were for style, a fashion choice, or shielding the world to see how tired your eyes are. You sit still, sunglasses in place, hands resting lightly on your lap as you put your folded cane inside your bag. 

It was easier that way. Letting people think what they want. You prefer it.

“Good morning”

The seats creaked beside you, accompanied with a soft voice. Too soft, like they aren’t sure if the person, you, can see them. 

You hated it, it makes you feel seen, maybe you don’t want to be seen. Out of all the places they could choose, why beside you?

You turned your head slightly towards the voice. “Morning”

You can’t help but judge their voice, their presence, her presence. Both soft, light, and calm. Too calm. Their scent, almost floral. It reminds you of the flower stalls outside that old church you used to go to. The one where you begged for your sight to come back.

It didn’t.

You hate the smell. You hate how familiar it is, despite everything.

“I almost missed this bus” she added after a pause. “Didn’t hear it coming until it was too close.”

“Yeah” you replied. “Happens to me sometimes too. Almost happened to me a while ago.”

Another small pause. She laughed lightly. “Guess we’re both lucky today then.”

The bus moved. The city passed in heat and muffled sounds. She didn’t speak much — not at first. But the woman filled the silence gently, like someone careful not to spill anything. 

“It’s hotter today than usual, don’t you think?”

“It is” you say. “Feels like hell.” You hope that ends the conversation.

But she laughs, shifting in her seat to create space between you. “I prefer this over rain though. I wouldn’t want to be soaked this early. And umbrellas are annoying.”

“Yeah. That can be a hassle.”

You hate the rain too. It reminds you of everything you’re missing. Of how you used to bet on which raindrop would reach the bottom of the window first. Of headlights slicing through puddles in the dark. Now everything’s just fog. Too grey. Too nothing.

As the conversation goes on, you keep your answers vague. Simple. Polite. You don’t want to lean too far in. Strangers on a bus aren’t supposed to feel familiar.

But she does.

“I’m Sophia” she said suddenly, like the thought had been waiting in her mouth for too long.

You hesitated. “Nice to meet you.” but you didn’t offer your name.

Sophia didn’t ask and you liked it. 

She keeps talking, but never says anything too exact. Just soft observations and passing thoughts. As if you’re both walking through the same dark hallway, too afraid to reach for the other’s hand. You stay on the surface — two voices rippling over water, never daring to dive.

Suddenly the bus slowed down, you can feel the tires screeching. The sound of the bus door opening, letting you hear the sound of the city. You felt the seat beside you creaked once again, but this time the heat on your left side is gone. 

“This is my stop. Have a good one,” she says, her voice barely above the hum of traffic.

She stepped off the bus and disappeared into the sound of the city. The doors closed behind her.

A few seconds passed as you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding in. Suddenly, a voice from behind can be heard. It’s unfamiliar, rough, and manly. Too close to you for your liking. Making your skin crawl due to its proximity. 

“She’s a pretty young girl, don’t you think?”

You nod without thinking.

Oh how you wish you could have seen her. Even just a glimpse. Something to hold onto. Something visual to remember. Because something about her had made you feel — not better, exactly. But less alone. Thinking how beautiful she must be to accommodate and take her precious time for someone like you. How beautiful she must be to see something in you, to see you. How beautiful she must be to see –

“It’s a shame” he cuts in. “She had a cane. Eyes looked grey. I even waved when she got on but she ignored me. Definitely a shame.”

You went still.

The pieces click. Your fingers grip the edge of your seat. Your heart sinks.

You think back  to the way she talked, the way she described things, how careful she was with her words. The pauses. The softness. The way she never assumed.

Like she was stepping through a world she couldn’t fully see.

Just like you.

Similar to you. Familiar to what you do.

It wasn’t just polite vagueness. It was understanding. It was familiarity. It was two blind strangers speaking in code, neither willing to say it out loud.

Now it all makes sense. The conversation wasn’t vague.

It was honest.

It was shared.

Two people, pretending not to recognize what the other was. Pretending not to know. Because sometimes it's easier to pretend you're just tired. That you almost just missed the bus. That you’re not navigating a world built for someone else.

You lean back.

The world feels quieter. Smoother. Muted.

You don’t know why it hurts this much. Just that it does.

Maybe it’s because, for one brief moment, you felt seen. Not pitied. Not asked to explain.

Seen.

Like you could see again, even just for a second.

And maybe it’s because you didn’t realise it until she was already gone.

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This is a hard one ngl since it focuses more on the other senses which means imagery is not much of an option. This is also shorter than I expected so sorry for that. Overall I had fun writing this while Infrunami played on repeat. Hope you guys like this one. I'll try to write some fluff and for other members next time :)))

[satsugacafe]

𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐘𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐈𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐞 | (𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 2)

➳❥ 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬: Ishida Uryu, Unohana Retsu, Kurosaki Ichigo, Abarai Renji

➳❥ 𝐑𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭: Hiyaaa! I saw the queue about insecure reader, and I was wondering if you could do the same with Uryu, Ichigo, Renji, and Unohana?? Thanks!

➳❥ 𝐀/𝐍: It was a pleasure to answer this for you anon. Hope you enjoy it!

➳❥ 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: low self-esteem, insecurity, self-depreciation, angsty

𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 | 𝐍𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐠𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 | 𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

⋆˚✿˖° Ishida Uryu

˚₊‧꒰ა Being the observant person that he is, he noticed it before you ever said a word. The way your hands tugged your sleeves down over your wrists when someone looked too long. The way you nodded a little too quickly when people spoke, like you were afraid your own thoughts would get in the way.

˚₊‧꒰ა He started making space for you to speak without realising it. Waiting a beat longer in conversation before replying, holding eye contact just enough, offering subtle nods as you spoke.

˚₊‧꒰ა When you downplayed something you’d done—like helping him organise a stack of tangled reference material—he blinked once and said plainly, “You did it faster than I could have. That’s not nothing.” Then he kept speaking like he hadn’t just casually handed you a small gift of validation.

˚₊‧꒰ა He never liked vague compliments, so he didn’t give them. But you started noticing how often he made neutral-sounding comments like, “Your handwriting is easy to read. I’ve seen much worse,” or “You remember details I overlook.” He never smiled when he said it, but his tone was lighter, yet the words stuck with you anyway.

˚₊‧꒰ა Once, you called yourself “just average” in a moment of frustration, and Uryu looked up from the book he was reading with a frown. “Average people don’t try as hard as you do. They don’t worry as much, either. Effort matters more than you think.”

˚₊‧꒰ა He made you clothes without saying why at first, and when you asked, he just said, “I thought this colour would suit you better. You look uncomfortable in the ones you usually wear.” He didn’t elaborate and left no room for mockery.

˚₊‧꒰ა He wasn’t physically affectionate, but you’d notice him standing a little closer when you were feeling off, handing you things without being asked, or waiting silently with you after awkward social encounters.

˚₊‧꒰ა When he noticed you getting embarrassed over how little you liked yourself, he didn’t look away or try to pretend he hadn’t seen. “You don’t need to justify your presence. You’re allowed to take up space, even if no one told you that before.”

˚₊‧꒰ა He had a calm way of pushing you to speak better of yourself. “You’re misrepresenting the situation,” he said after you deflected a compliment again. “You’re allowed to accept credit when it’s due.”

˚₊‧꒰ა Sometimes, he wrote things instead of saying them, because he knew it was easier for you to read than to hear. A short note left on your desk: You did well today. You don’t have to believe it yet—but I do.

˚₊‧꒰ა When you cried once, he offered you a tissue and sat down beside you, hands folded neatly. “It’s alright to feel like this,” he said. “It doesn’t mean you’re weak. It just means you’ve been trying alone for too long.”

˚₊‧꒰ა He never rushed your process. He didn’t want to fix you. But he also didn’t let you ignore the parts of yourself you were too afraid to value. “You’re not invisible,” he said once, softly but firmly. “Not to me.”

⋆˚✿˖° Unohana Retsu

˚₊‧꒰ა Unohana never commented directly on your insecurities—not at first. She had the kind of presence that made you feel seen even in silence, and the more time you spent under her gaze, the more it became impossible to hide your discomfort with yourself.

˚₊‧꒰ა She’d ask questions that felt harmless at first: “Why do you think that’s your fault?” or “What made you come to that conclusion?” But you’d realise later they were her way of gently pushing back on your internal narrative. She never argued, instead, she dismantled you with softness.

˚₊‧꒰ა During training, she praised with precise detail. “Your stance has improved. You held your guard much longer than before.” She spoke to you like she believed in your potential before you ever did.

˚₊‧꒰ა Once, after you tried to excuse a mistake with “I was never very good at this,” she simply said, “Not being good at something is not the same as being incapable. You are learning. Let yourself.” You felt more pierced by that than any rebuke.

˚₊‧꒰ა When you tried to downplay your exhaustion, insisting you were just being dramatic, she placed a cup of tea in front of you without a word. “Even the strongest can collapse when they ignore their limits. You are not exempt.”

˚₊‧꒰ა You apologised excessively around her, which you obviously noticed. One day, you said, “I’m sorry, I just—” and she cut you off gently: “You are allowed to make mistakes without needing to apologise. No one is perfect—we all make mistakes.”

˚₊‧꒰ა She never forced you to talk about your feelings, but she created quiet spaces where you could. Long walks in the gardens, tea shared without pressure. And when you did speak, she never interrupted, only listened.

˚₊‧꒰ა The first time you confessed how much you disliked yourself, how useless you often felt, her expression didn’t falter. “I know that pain. I lived with it for centuries. But you must understand—you are not broken. Only tired.”

˚₊‧꒰ა She treated your low self-esteem like a wound. Not something shameful, but something that needed care, observation, patience. She never rushed you and never expected you to heal quickly.

˚₊‧꒰ა You once muttered that you weren’t special, that anyone else could do what you do. She said nothing for a moment, then reached across the table and touched your hand lightly. “And yet, it was you who stayed. Who helped. Who endured. That is special, even if you can’t see it.”

˚₊‧꒰ა She offered you responsibilities you felt unqualified for—small at first, then more meaningful. When you hesitated, she would simply say, “I would not entrust you with this if you were not ready.”

˚₊‧꒰ა When you failed or stumbled, she never said, “It’s alright.” She said, “You are allowed to fail. It does not undo your worth. It only proves you are trying.”

˚₊‧꒰ა She had a way of seeing past your words. You’d say, “I guess I did okay,” and she’d look you in the eye and say quietly, “You did well. Say it with confidence.”

˚₊‧꒰ა When you began standing straighter, speaking with more clarity, she never said “I’m proud of you.” She said, “You are beginning to see yourself. I am glad.”

⋆˚✿˖° Kurosaki Ichigo

˚₊‧꒰ა Ichigo was a blunt bastard when it came to emotional stuff and didn’t know how to express it without sounding like he was gearing up for a fistfight. So, when he noticed your self-esteem was shaky, he didn’t sugarcoat a damn thing. “You keep talking about yourself like you’re some side character. You’re not.”

˚₊‧꒰ა He noticed the way you brushed off compliments, the way your eyes dropped when someone acknowledged your effort, like you couldn’t even hear good things without cringing.

˚₊‧꒰ა Once, you said something off-hand like, “Well, I’m not really good at anything, so…” and Ichigo snapped, “What the hell does that even mean?” He stared at you like you’d just insulted his family. “Not good at anything? You think helping Orihime when she had that breakdown last week was nothing? Or spotting that reiatsu shift when no one else noticed? You’re just choosing not to count your wins.”

˚₊‧꒰ა He’d catch you tearing yourself apart after missions and drag you out of it. “You didn’t mess up. You hesitated, yeah. Big deal. You still got it done. If that’s failure, what the hell do you call my screw-ups?”

˚₊‧꒰ა He’d stand in your way, arms crossed, refusing to let you dodge the conversation. “You’re not allowed to talk about yourself like that when I’m around.” You told him you weren’t fishing for comfort. “Good,” he said. “’Cause I’m not giving you comfort. I’m giving you reality.”

˚₊‧꒰ა He’s not great with words, but his presence alone was heavy enough to ground you. He’d lean against the wall while you paced, not interrupting until you stopped, sighed, and muttered something awful about yourself. Then he’d say, without even moving, “That’s not true. You know it. I know it. Say something else.”

˚₊‧꒰ა When you told him he shouldn’t waste time on someone as messed up as you, he actually laughed. “Yeah, because I’ve got so much free time to waste on people who don’t matter. You seriously think I’d show up every time if I didn’t think you were worth it?”

˚₊‧꒰ა If you flinched at attention or tried to fade into the background, Ichigo would do the opposite. He’d speak your name a little louder, shove you forward slightly in group conversations, make sure your voice got heard.

˚₊‧꒰ა He didn’t always give praise, but when he did, it hit like a punch to the gut. “You’re stronger than most of the guys I know. Not physically—but in here,” tapping his temple. “That’s the kind of strength that scares people.”

˚₊‧꒰ა If he caught you comparing yourself to someone else, he’d shake his head. “Don’t do that. You’re not them. You don’t need to be.”

˚₊‧꒰ა You found him in your corner constantly, even when you didn’t ask. When you started doubting your spot on the team, Ichigo said, “You think I’d let someone I didn’t trust cover my back? Grow up. You’re not here because I’m being nice.”

˚₊‧꒰ა When you once whispered that maybe people would be better off if you weren’t around, Ichigo just looked at you, angrily and hurt. “Don’t ever say that again. Not just for you—for me. I need you. So you stay.”

˚₊‧꒰ა And when you finally started seeing even a fraction of your worth, he didn’t say I told you so. He just grinned faintly, gave you a shove on the back, and muttered, “Took you long enough.”

⋆˚✿˖° Abarai Renji

˚₊‧꒰ა Renji didn’t get it at first because he thought you were the coolest damn person around and couldn’t fathom why you didn’t see it. When you brushed off compliments or made jokes about how useless you felt, he was confused. “Wait, you’re serious?”

˚₊‧꒰ა He tried teasing at first, playful jabs to lift your mood, but when he realised it just made you quieter, he dropped the act fast. “Oi. Don’t laugh that off. I mean it. You’re strong as hell. You know that, right?”

˚₊‧꒰ა It was then he started paying real attention. Like noticing what triggered you, the way you looked down when others spoke. How you hesitated when taking the lead. So he started stepping back in conversations, letting you take the front. If someone spoke over you, he’d lean in and say, “Oi, let them finish.”

˚₊‧꒰ა When you said something like “I’m just not that important,” Renji nearly choked. “Are you joking? You’re one of the few people I trust not to mess everything up when I’m not looking. That’s damn important to me.”

˚₊‧꒰ა He started mentioning you more often. “Yeah, that was their idea.” “Ask them, they’re good with this kinda stuff.”

˚₊‧꒰ა Renji believed in practical comfort. “You don’t feel good about yourself today? Alright, let’s train. You’ll see what you can do.” And he made sure to get you up and moving. “C’mon. Punch something. Scream. Whatever. Just don’t sit there tearing yourself down.”

˚₊‧꒰ა He noticed when your voice went small. “You do that thing where you talk like you’re trying not to take up space. Don’t. You’ve earned your space. You’re allowed to be loud.”

˚₊‧꒰ა Renji knew insecurity well. So when you opened up, finally admitted what you felt, he nodded. “I’ve been there. You think everyone around you is better, faster, smarter. You look at yourself and all you see is the gaps. But you know what helped me? Realising that other people see something else when they look at you.”

˚₊‧꒰ა “I look at you and I see someone who’s fought like hell to get this far. You might not see it yet—but I do. And I’m not going anywhere.”

˚₊‧꒰ა He started pointing out specific strengths, especially the ones you overlooked. “You’re patient. That’s rare.” “You keep your head in a crisis. That’s not luck, that’s skill.” “You make people feel better just by being around. That’s not something you can fake.”

˚₊‧꒰ა He never let you apologise for being too quiet, too slow, too unsure. “You’re not ‘too’ anything. You’re you. That’s what I want. Don’t water that down.”

˚₊‧꒰ა He got protective. If someone insulted you, Renji stepped in fast. “Watch your mouth. You don’t get to talk about them like that.” The pride in his tone was like a shield you didn’t know you had.

˚₊‧꒰ა Once you admitted you didn’t see why someone like him would want someone like you. He looked at you, genuinely dumbfounded. “Are you seriously asking that? You think I’m here for charity or something? I’m here ‘cause I like you. All of you. Especially the parts you’re trying to hide.”

˚₊‧꒰ა When you struggled to believe in yourself, Renji didn’t tell you to fake confidence. He said, “You don’t need to believe it yet. Just don’t argue when I say you’re amazing. Deal?”

˚₊‧꒰ა He didn’t pressure you into ‘fixing’ yourself. He just kept showing up. “You’re not broken. You’re just carrying too much weight. So let me carry some of it. That’s what we do.”

˚₊‧꒰ა And the first time you stood up for yourself in front of others, Renji clapped you on the back with a grin like you’d just won a damn tournament. “Hell yeah! That’s what I’m talking about! Knew you had that in you!”

˚₊‧꒰ა You weren’t always okay. Some days, it hit again like a wave, but Renji never got tired of reminding you who the hell you were. “Even when you don’t see it—I do. Every damn day. And I’ll keep saying it till you believe it.”

𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: @stygianoir @spellboundsuguru @cookielovesbook-akie @kennys-partner @sovl-society @villainsrtasty @foxycrafterofgreenwood @carnationdoe @darthwhorecrux

©satsugacafé 2025: no permission to repost, plagiarise, copy or translate my work onto any other platform or this one.

[xdarkestdesirex]

Metempsychosis - Scene Two

Jinu x f.reader

n. the supposed transmission at death of the soul of a human being or animal into a new body of the same or a different species.

Reincarnation? Ha! Yeah right, I don't believe in that. . .

Wait. . .

Am I dead? No, I'm alive, but l'm. . .

Different.

I'VE DIED AND REINCARNATED AS RUMI FROM KPDH?!

This writing contains highly sensitive topics like violence, gore, mental health, death, manipulation, smut, and other mature themes. If you click keep reading, you're agreeing to reading something that’s potentially triggering. Reader discretion is advised.

WC: 14,753 | prev | next

THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SMUT. 18+ ONLY AFTER WARNING

We make it home and take time to patch up any wounds we have. My back is slouched over in defeat as I think over our battle. I was supposed to be smarter when fighting Jinu, and not let him scratch me. He still tore through the protective layering I wore underneath! I cry softly and hit my head against my bedroom wall. Stupid demon claws are just too sharp. I even tried to bring forth my claws and scratch at the shirt, but I couldn’t figure out how to make that happen. I used none of my demon side before, scared that it would turn me more demon, and maybe I shouldn’t have tried. Not that it did anything, anyway. 

“Rumi,” Mira’s voice calls through my door, “you need to come see this.”

I walk out of my room and meet the girls in front of our ceiling-to-floor windows in our living room. Their faces pull down, and they look worn out and defeated. We have experienced nothing like this; in fact, it’s been decades since a trio of hunters has gone through a dark age. For the past three decades, hunters have thrived, steadily strengthening the Honmoon. They’ve only had to handle the occasional stray demon that appeared now and then. Even for us, the beginning was relatively easy. The Honmoon was stronger than it ever was by the time we became hunters; that’s why Celine is so certain it’ll be us who seal it. 

“How did this happen?” My eyes scan over the Honmoon. What once shone brighter than the twinkling stars now had large, dark magenta spots that flickered like flames. So many weak spots that would make it easier for demons to slip through.

“We’ve seen nothing like this before,” Zoey says sadly. Her hand came to rest on the window in front of her.

My face sets into a serious one, and I clench my hands tightly at my sides; “Gwi-Ma knows we’re close to sealing the Honmoon, so he’s throwing all he has into keeping us from doing that.”

“A demon boy band?” Mira hisses out.

A deep sigh leaves my lips, and I cover my face with my hands. I saw this coming, but it’s still heartbreaking to see the Honmoon like this. I’m not as strong as Rumi, at least in certain areas, and I definitely am a crybaby. Tears roll down my cheeks, and the other girls' lips pucker softly as we group hug one another, mumbling incoherent words as we cry together. When we pull away, I wipe away the wetness from my cheeks.

The sound of our front door opening has us quickly putting ourselves back together and beating makeup over our war wounds. Bobby walks into the living room, stress-dumping over the fame and popularity the Saja Boys have gained overnight. He doesn’t even realize how much his words tie into what we’re dealing with right now. I wish we could tell Bobby that we fight demons, but people aren’t supposed to know about that part of our world. It would turn the world into chaos, where people would be terrified all the time, or evil individuals would try to exploit and manipulate it, making it difficult for hunters to do their job.

Bobby puts his phone down and takes a deep breath while looking outside. It’s funny that he sees a tranquil landscape of the city view, but we girls see the genuine danger of what's happening. 

“You know what we need to do,” I smile sinisterly at Mira and Zoey, “Hit 'em where it hurts.”

Mira cracks her knuckles with an evil grin; “I like what you’re saying.”

“Zoey!” I call out to the youngest, making her stand up straight, “We need a new song.”

“I’ve got 23 notebooks with demon insults ready to go!” Zoey shows off her notebooks while Bobby hypes her in the background.

“Mira!” I point to the pink-haired girl. “We need new dance moves.”

Mira looks down at her nails nonchalantly; “I’ll make them even hotter.” She looks up and smirks.

“This is how we’ll win against them,” I say positively.

“We’ll kick their demon asses and send them back to hell!” Zoey shouts out.

Mira and I stare at the younger girl in bewilderment. Zoey rarely cusses, but when she does, it’s funny to see such words coming out of a sweet girl. Then we all shout yeah together and take off into our music room, leaving poor Bobby alone in the living room, not sure about what he just witnessed, but supporting us anyway.

After a couple of hours of spitting out ideas for the song we wanted to make, I finally made my way back into my bedroom. I flop onto my mattress and roll around on the blankets. Ah, it feels so good to be lying down. I had to do too much fighting today. Now, if only I had a boyfriend I could call to come give me a massage. I wouldn’t ask any of the girls to do that because I know they’re just as tired as me. 

The sound of a bird tweeting from outside catches my attention, and I groan as I turn over to see what's going on. I see a dark bird sitting on my balcony railing with bright yellow eyes and wearing a small hat on its head.

“Awww, that's so cute,” I whisper to myself. 

Then its head pops up, revealing two more yellow eyes below the first one I saw. A gasp leaves my lips, and I look at it with confusion. What? This is when Jinu wants to meet up? I’m so exhausted, couldn’t he at least wait a day before trying to get me alone? I groan as I pull my heavy body out of bed and drag my feet out onto my balcony. My eyes glared at the poor bird that did nothing wrong to me. I know I shouldn’t be mad at the messenger. He’s just doing what Jinu asked of him, but the dark-haired male isn’t here for me to glare at.

I turn my head to look at my bushes of plants to see a large tiger emerging from the darkness. If I didn’t know it was already going to be there, I would have peed myself. As the tiger slowly walks closer toward me, it knocks over one of my plants. Staring at the plant with curiosity, he tries to put it upright but fails in doing so.

“Oh my gosh, you’re just so cute,” I bend down to be level with the tiger; “Here, let me help you.” I pick the plant up and put it off to the side, so it’s no longer in the tiger's way.

The blue-striped tiger then sticks its tongue out, revealing a slimy card that falls to the floor. I pick it up gingerly, my face contorting with disgust, as I open up the card to read what’s inside. It says nothing different from the movie. Just an ominous note saying, “Let’s meet up -Jinu.” 

“He really is old, isn’t he?” I say to the tiger, reaching out to pet its head, “I mean, he’s communicating through letters.” I giggle softly.

I stand back up, stretching out my back and looking down at my outfit. I know he makes fun of Rumi for the pajamas she’s wearing, but maybe if I dress up (or down if you get what I mean) it’ll be a little distracting for him. He is ancient, so showing some skin might fluster him. I tell the bird and tiger to wait on the balcony as I rush back into my room. I throw open my closet door and pull out my nighttime drawer. Being dressed in normal clothes would seem weird, so I wanted it to seem like he still caught me off guard while I was getting ready for bed.

I pick out a pair of black booty track shorts and then throw on a black cropped hoodie. Looking in the mirror, I fix my hair to make sure it doesn’t look too crazy, and then I slide on a pair of sneakers. Once I’m back out on the balcony, I nod my head at the creature, and they lead the way to where Jinu is waiting for me. 

When I arrive in the area, I jump up onto the roof of the building and see the manikin that Jinu had set up as a decoy. I slowly walk over to it, scuff, and then push the giant doll off the roof. 

“Very funny,” I say while looking around; “Now come out, I promise I won’t hurt you.” I waited for about thirty seconds before Jinu came out of his hiding spot and walked cautiously toward me. 

I lifted my hands in surrender to show him I was serious. “Why did you want to meet me?” 

“I wanted to talk about your patterns.” The dark-haired male steps closer, but then pauses. Jinu’s dark eyes scan over my body, taking in my exposed skin. “Where are your clothes?” He says matter-of-factly while pointing at my legs.

I follow his line of sight, acting like I don’t know what he’s talking about; “These are clothes.” I stick my leg out and wiggle it. “You caught me before going to bed, so sorry for not dressing appropriately.” My voice drips with sarcasm. 

The tall, handsome male walks slowly around me, still taking in my form. I’m used to having my body on display as an idol, but the way Jinu’s eyes are running over me makes me want to cover myself. His gaze is burning and intense, and I can feel the heat rising in my cheeks. Damn it! He was the one who was supposed to be embarrassed. 

He pauses at my backside and quirks an eyebrow while wearing a devilish smirk; clearing his throat, he moves back in front of me. Leaning in so his mouth is just a hair's breadth away from my ear, he speaks in a deep, whispered tone, “I don’t mind it.”

It’s like he knows what I’m doing, so he’s playing back even harder. Which so isn’t fair. He should be the one weak in his knees right now, not the other way around!

“Are you done checking me out?” I rest my hand on my hip and smirk at the demon male.

Jinu jumps backward, landing on a higher part of the roof, so he’s looking down at me. His eyes flicker, showing off the yellow-golden hue‌ before settling back into his deep chocolate eyes. 

“I don’t think I could ever stop,” the dark-haired male gazes into my eyes as he speaks.

I roll my eyes at the cheesy yet working line that he used. 

“So, did your friends freak out after seeing your patterns?” Jinu questions, stalking toward me. My head quirks to the side in confusion. “I’m guessing they already know about your patterns.”

My mouth opens into the shape of an ‘O’ once I realize what he’s saying, “Oh, yeah,” I wave my hand in the air like it’s no big deal, “They’re my best friends, of course I told them.”

Jinu keeps walking in circles around me like I’m his prey, trying to make me feel like I’m cornered, but I won’t let him scare me. So, I plop down on the roof of the building we’re standing on and swing my legs over the edge as I stare out into the distance. Wow, the view is so pretty up here. Maybe I should come here when I need to clear my head. 

“You sure you should be comfortable?” Jinu narrows his eyes into slits as he watches me closely, trying to read what I’m doing. The look on his face tells me he doesn’t trust what I'm doing. He thinks I’m trying to pull something on him by letting my guard down.

“I’m sure,” I say softly, giving the demon male a sweet smile. I then pat the spot next to me; “Come on, I don’t bite.” My voice comes out sultry, and I move my lips in a way that draws his attention; “Unless you want me to.” I playfully wink at him.

Jinu continues to stare at me for a moment before releasing a deep sigh and making his way over to me. Carefully sitting down, with some space between us, Jinu hangs his legs over the edge as well. I lean back on my hands, my feet sway in the cool night air, and I just stare out at the horizon. A breeze drifts by, lingering on my skin and sinking into my bones. My body shivers, and goosebumps form up and down my legs. I’m regretting not staying in my fluffy pajama bottoms. 

Jinu removes the jacket he had layered on top of his grey hoodie and drapes it over my legs. The warmth instantly relaxed my body, and I just wanted to curl up under his jacket. Or maybe I want to curl up next to him. Is he unnaturally warm because he’s a demon? Jinu’s dark orbs look over to me, softening, and he slides in closer to me. He doesn’t get so close that it fully invades my bubble, but enough so that my leg almost brushes against his, and I can feel the heat radiating off of him.

“So tell me,” Jinu looks into my eyes, “How can a demon be a hunter? How have you been able to hide all this time?” He leans in closer, keeping eye contact; “Don’t the voices drive you insane?”

“Voices?” I say quietly, “The only voice that drives me crazy is my own.” I chuckle softly. Jinu glares at me, not finding what I said funny.

“You don’t hear Gwi-Ma?” The dark-haired male looked genuinely surprised.

“No,” I shake my head softly; “Does his voice constantly ring in your mind?” I look at the male with concern, and I slowly lift my hand to rest on his head. I ease my fingers through his hair, but he quickly grabs my wrist and rips my hand off him. His touch ignites my patterns, causing them to glow brightly.

“How did you get these?” Jinu’s voice is stern as he asks. It seems I struck a chord. I know I struck a chord. Gwi-Ma’s voice is the one thing Jinu wants to stop hearing. It’s the reason he’s constantly reminded of the betrayal he did to his sister and mother. I need to break down his walls faster than they did in the movie. I need to fully remove them. He opened himself up so little in the movie while keeping his guard high. I need him, all of him, if my plan is going to work. I can save him; I know I can. 

Jinu rips his eyes away from mine. The way I was staring so intensely and the determined look in my eyes overwhelmed him in a way he didn’t understand. 

I look down at my arms and push my sleeves up, uncovering my patterns. “I didn’t ask for these,” I finally speak, “I was born with them.”

“What?” Jinu’s eyes snap back at me.

“I don’t know if I’m lucky or cursed, but I remember every detail of my life.” It’s because I died and came into this world with a functioning brain of a twenty-four-year-old. “The day I was born, there was a man in the room. He leaned over the hospital bed my mother was in while she was holding me, and he petted my head while smiling down at me. He had bright yellow eyes. That man was my father.” I looked up at Jinu with one of my eyes glowing in the dark while the other stayed normal.

“That was the first and only time I ever saw him. I don’t know why my mother, a hunter, would have a baby with a demon, but that's the reason I have these patterns.”

We sit in silence for a moment. Jinu is taking in everything I just told him, and I’m just hoping he’ll find it in himself to open up to me. In the movie, the only reason he talks about his patterns is to get Rumi to open up, but I opened up first. I know I’m using his tactics against him, but I genuinely want him to feel like he can talk to me. 

“I’d say you’re lucky,” Jinu’s voice is low as he speaks, and a look of jealousy crosses his face. “Gwi-Ma controls us by being in our heads; his voice is deafening, and I’ll never forget the first time I heard him. It was 400 years ago.” 

If I had a cup of coffee, I would’ve taken a drink just to spit it out at that comment. 400 years! I knew I liked older men, but I guess I’m into ancient ones now. 

“My family was poor, and we were struggling. The only thing I had was an old bipa, so I would take it out and busk on the streets. But people didn’t want to listen to a beggar like me. I was ready to give up when a voice rang through my head saying, ‘You can’t do anything for your family,’ and ‘You’re not good enough for them.’ Gwi-Ma played on my weakness and then offered me a way out.” 

Jinu pauses and takes a deep breath; “I didn’t have any other choice, we were starving, so I accepted it, and overnight everything changed. People actually listened to my voice, praised me, and even the king himself took an interest in me. We got to live on the palace grounds, never having to worry about money or food again.” 

The dark-haired male stares off into the distance, almost like he’s rewatching the words he’s saying, “It was paradise while it lasted. My patterns only continued to spread until they took over my whole body. Next thing I knew, I got ripped away to the demon world, condemned to a life where my purpose was to serve Gwi-Ma for an eternity, and my family suffered even worse once I was gone.”

My eyes never wavered from Jinu as he told his story, my heart aching in my chest as I listened to him. He still lied to me. My face fell in disappointment, and I bit my lip softly. I don’t know why I had such high expectations that he would’ve just told me the truth. He’s still a demon, he barely knows me, and his goal is still his key priority. But I won’t let him think he pulled one over on me. 

“Jinu,” I say the demon's name softly, “That’s such a heartbreaking story.” I rest my hand on his wide shoulders; “But I know you’re not telling me the whole truth.” 

My voice isn’t accusing; it’s warm with understanding. “Gwi-Ma only makes deals either for the person or a deal that benefits another party for the person. He can’t do both. So either you made a deal for your family to live lavishly, or you made the deal for yourself.” 

Jinu grits his teeth and hisses, throwing my hand off him. He quickly jumps to his feet and glares down at me, “You know nothing!” His demon voice screeches, causing the Honmoon to ripple. The dark-haired male was no longer hiding in his human form. His patterns glowed on pale skin, and his eyes shone so bright they could tear through the darkness. Teeth sharp and ready to bite, and nails almost as long as talons.

“You see this!” Jinu’s voice breaks as he motions to himself, “I have to live like this as a reminder of what I did! I was selfish, and I failed them!” 

I stand ‌on my feet, heart racing in my chest at the scene before me. Jinu is breaking. The choice he made 400 years ago haunts him to no end, and the way his eyes glisten shows how much he regrets what he did. Anyone else in this circumstance would either pull out their weapon or run away. Being in front of a demon who’s mad or losing their cool can be scary, but I’m not afraid of Jinu. He’s just hurting inside. I crash into his chest and wrap my arms around his neck, holding him against me. The tall male stiffens, unsure of what’s going on, but then he gives in. His enormous arms wrap around my waist, and he buries his face in the crook of my neck.

He doesn’t cry, but I can feel his body shaking. One hand grabs a fist full of my hoodie, and his other hand digs into the flesh of my back. His touch was warm, sending fire through my skin. It almost feels like he’s holding onto me for dear life, and if he lets go, he’ll fall. This is probably the first time he’s hugged someone in 400 years. That thought breaks my heart, and I lift my hand to run through his dark locks. He’s back in his human form, and his body is relaxing.

“I uh,” Jinu pulls away from me and scratches the back of his neck, “I need to go.” 

Before I can say anything else, he disappears into a puff of smoke. 

——————————

The girls and I spent the next few days working on a new song and fighting demons nonstop. The Saja Boys are taking over everything, and their influence is worming its way into people's souls, causing the Honmoon to weaken drastically. In the movie, Jinu reaches back out to Rumi at some point, which she ignores, but I know once I meet the tiger again, I won’t ignore it. We also attended two award shows where the Saja Boys won for Soda Pop, and while the other girls glared over at the boys, I looked at Jinu proudly. Then at the next awards, our song Golden won, and obviously I couldn’t help but be happy and cheer with my girls.

I’m lying on my stomach on my bed, my chest propped up on my elbows, and my legs kicked up. I’m chewing on the eraser of a pencil as I look over a few different versions of Takedown that we’ve written so far. Unlike Rumi, I think this song is good, but I also know this is not the song that will get fans to turn on the Saja Boys. It will probably make them lean more toward the demon boy band and turn against us, but this song is giving us the determination we need to fight. I’m also trying really hard not to write the whole song and act like I’m thinking hard about what would sound best.

A loud bang against my balcony door causes me to jump. My hand flies to my chest, and I roll over on my back to take a few deep breaths. 

“You guys scared the shit out of me!” I whisper-yell as I make my way to the door and open it.

The bird and tiger were standing on the other side, and I gave both of them some pets. The tiger sticks its tongue out, revealing another card, and I gingerly pick it up. We have to find another way to send notes because I hate slobber. I open the card up and read, “Let’s meet up, same place -Jinu.” I stuff the card on the nightstand next to my bed and grab the jacket Jinu laid on my lap during our last meeting. He took off so quickly and left it behind, so I just brought it back with me. And I may or may not snuggle it at night. I can’t help it! It’s so warm and smells of sweet spices. 

I sit on the back of the tiger, my legs dangling over its sides as the demon tiger brings me back to the place where Jinu and I met previously. The dark-haired male sat ‌on the roof, and I swear I saw a hint of a smile as he saw me. I hop off the tiger, rub its cheek, and thank the blue-striped animal before I hop my way up next to Jinu.

“I see you’ve taken a liking to Derpy.” Jinu looks down at the tiger, who's sitting in a dark corner with the bird perched on top of its head.

“Derpy?” My eyes widen after hearing the name of the demon tiger; “That’s its name?” I giggle softly as I sit down next to Jinu. “It suits him.” I look back at my newfound fury friend with a smile.

When I turn back to the handsome male, I find him intensely focusing his dark eyes on me. I wasn’t sure if he was trying to read into my soul or just taken away by my beauty. I’m hoping for the latter. An awkward smile forms on my face, and I lean back to defuse the intense feeling that’s coming from him.

“Um, is there something on my face?” I ask quietly, turning my face and wiping at it. I was eating snacks, so maybe I have crumbs somewhere?

Jinu reaches out, gently grabbing my chin and turning my face toward him; “Your hair is down.” His voice comes out raspy as he speaks. His fingers run across the edge of my jaw, finding a loose piece of hair, and tucking it back behind my ear. 

My cheeks burn from his touch, and I quickly smooth back my hair. “Oh, uh, yeah, I didn’t feel like braiding it.” Except I remember having my hair braided when I left my room. When did it come undone? I rarely have it down like this; I mean, it’s become such a habit to braid my hair that I don’t even remember braiding it half the time. Maybe I’m tired and didn’t realize I undid it.

“Oh.” My mind tears me out of this burning tension, and I shrug Jinu’s jacket off my body and hold it out to him. 

But he pushes it back toward me; “You should keep it. It looks better on you, anyway.”

Where the hell did this man learn to be so smooth? I’m supposed to be sweeping him off his feet, not the other way around. I need to step up my game, but when he acts like this, my whole body gets flustered. How am I supposed to function properly? I'd be in trouble if this were my first life. Like yes, Jinu Mr. Demon, please take my soul. He’d have me dumb and like putty in his hands. 

I slip his jacket back on, lie back on the rooftop, and look up at the stars. “So, what’s it like being part of one of the hottest boy groups?” I glance at the dark-haired male, smirking. 

When Jinu was a human, he was busking in the streets, so this must feel like a dream come true, even if the fame is coming from manipulation. 

“I already knew this would happen,” Jinu lies on his side, his larger body hovering slightly over mine, with a cocky look plastered on his face.

I roll my eyes, chuckling, and I playfully smack his chest; “No shit.” I give him the best deadpan look I could muster, but my face cracks into a smile. “Now give me an honest answer.”

Jinu rolls onto his back, folding his arms behind his head, and stares off into space—literally space, he’s looking at the stars. I can tell that his mind is going a hundred miles per hour trying to figure out if he should be honest or not.

“It’s hard for me to enjoy it,” he finally answers, “In another circumstance, I would love the attention and support we’re getting, but what we’re getting isn’t real.” 

“Then make it real.” It’s my turn to lie on my side. I prop myself up, so I’m looking down at the dark-haired male. 

“That’s impossible,” Jinu shakes his head.

“It’s not impossible. You’re very talented, Jinu, and people would love you without Gwi-Ma’s influence.” I pause for a moment; “I know I shouldn’t be saying this because we’re enemies, but why not use this opportunity to be real? Let them hear what you really sound like, the whole of Saja Boys!” I raise my hand into a fist while giving off ‘Fighting!’ vibes.

A deep chuckle erupts through Jinu’s chest; “Easier said than done, little hunter.” The dark-haired male pushes himself up, so he’s now in a seated position, leaning back on his hands. Our faces are only a few inches away from each other.

My eyes betray me and flick down to Jinu’s slightly plump lips, but then quickly move to look into his deep orbs. I wonder if Rumi and Jinu felt this burning tension between them in the movie, like I’m feeling with him right now. I long to be with him; we were always meant to be together, but I guess he and Rumi were fated. They just didn’t get a happy ending.

“What are you thinking?” Jinu’s deep voice floods through my body as he speaks, our proximity staying the same.

“What if I could help you?” I say without thinking. 

“What do you mean?” 

“When I seal the Honmoon, my patterns are supposed to disappear. Since you’re not a demon by design, and you only became one because of a deal, then if you’re up here, it should rid you of your patterns as well.” I reach out and grab Jinu’s hand, pressing our palms together, and our patterns illuminate the surrounding darkness.

“You won’t be bound to the demon world, and you won’t have Gwi-Ma whispering in your head twenty-four-seven. You could live a normal life.” My voice comes out so softly as I speak, like I’m whispering a forbidden secret. 

Jinu sighs, looking dejected; “You don’t know for certain if that would work.” He moves back, creating a space between us, letting the chilly breeze wrap around me. “Plus, I don’t know how to be human anymore.”

“What if we make a deal?” I say playfully, “Let’s spend tomorrow like normal humans. If you enjoy it and can truly see yourself as a human, then you follow my plan, but if it’s a shit day or you can’t see yourself as a human, then I won’t interfere with your plan.”

The dark-haired male searches my eyes, then he flashes me that devilish smile, and says, “Deal.”

——————————

I woke up extra early to get ready for the day, trying to figure out how I wanted to look. I didn’t want to cover up and hide myself, but I also couldn’t go out looking like Rumi from Huntrix if I wanted to spend the day like a normal person. So, I open my trusty disguise drawer. Inside the drawer are multiple hair colorings that wash out after one use, wigs, and a few other random things like enormous hats and dark sunglasses. 

Putting a wig on felt like too much work, so I opted for a one-time use hair dye. I grabbed the (h/c) tube and turned it around in my hands. I haven’t had my hair this color since my previous life, and thinking about my hair looking this way even for a day makes my stomach erupt with a bittersweet feeling of nostalgia. Every once in a while, I want to go back to see my old friends and family. I wish I knew how they were doing, but there’s no way for me to find out.

I squeeze the bottle in my hand and turn to head toward my bathroom. After I finish the long process of my shower routine (why does Rumi have to have so much hair?). Once I’m done, I take a step back and admire my hard work. It’s going to take at least four washes to get this out later. I then continue with the rest of my route, which includes brushing my teeth, doing my skincare, and then applying a light and natural makeup look. 

I make my way back into my room and throw open the doors to my large walk-in closet. It took me a long time to get used to this lifestyle from my old life, but at least I have my old life to look back on. It keeps me grounded and humble. I step into my closet, looking around my wardrobe for what outfit I want to wear. Do I go casual, or do I dress up a little? I decided on a simple yet endearing look with a black cashmere turtleneck sweater; to hide my patterns, I needed something that covered my arms and neck. Then I grabbed a black pleated skirt, and to top off my outfit, I grabbed my chunky black sneakers. Simple and cute.

I was about to put my hair up when the image from last night floated through my mind of Jinu leaning in and brushing my hair behind my ear. My cheeks bloom a soft pink color, and I choose to put my hair half-up, half‌-down. Accessorizing my hair with a giant floppy bow. Taking one last look at myself in the mirror, I nod my head in approval and quickly grab my purse and my favorite sunglasses before I run out of the house. It’s still early enough that Mira and Zoey are sleeping or lying in bed and doom-scrolling before dragging their bodies out.

Escaping from our shared home successfully, I make my way through the semi-quiet streets and toward Jinu and I’s meet-up area. As I round the corner, I see a tall, nicely dressed male pacing back and forth. I arrived about ten minutes earlier than our agreed meeting time, so I wasn’t expecting to see Jinu already there waiting for me. His hair was loosely slicked back with one strand dangling down his forehead. He was wearing a black button-up shirt with the top few buttons undone and black jeans. Seeing him looking finer than wine, standing off in the distance, takes my breath away. Why does he have to look so good? And he’s wearing all black, so it feels like we planned to match. What if people think we’re a couple? 

My cheeks grow hot the longer I stare at him, and I have to turn around and smack my cheeks a few ‌times; “Gah, (Y/n) get it together.” I whisper to myself. 

After a few moments of trying to calm my racing heart, I make my way toward Jinu. His large back is facing me, so I reach out and tap his shoulder. The tall male whips his head around but freezes once he sees me. 

“I, uh,” Jinu stutters, “Wow.” 

Oh, my gooooooooood. Did I just leave him breathless? All the work I did to calm myself before coming here was for nothing because now my face is like a flaming hot Cheeto. I’m not even dressed up enough to receive such a reaction. My eyes gaze down at the ground, and I switch my weight back and forth on my feet. 

“Um, I was thinking we could go to a cafe first. Get coffee and breakfast?” I say sheepishly, keeping my face pointed to the ground.

“That sounds good,” Jinu says. I feel his soft fingertips hook under my chin and lift my face so I’m looking into his deep orbs. “Just make sure you keep those eyes on me.”

That’s it, I’m going to end up six feet under the ground if this is how today is going to be. Doesn’t this man know how to chill? I feel like he binge-watched ten different romance K-dramas. How does a demon know how to act like this? I just nod my head in response, not trusting my vocal cords not to betray me.

Walking side by side, Jinu and I make our way through the town. The streets are busy as people are coming out to head to work or to beat the afternoon traffic to get their shopping done. The more people we pass, the more anxious I feel. What if someone recognizes me? Even worse, what if they recognize Jinu, and word gets out about us? The girls would surely question me, and I’m not sure if they’d understand my side of things. Zoey would be more willing to listen, but Mira is a harder nut to crack.  

Jinu seems to notice how my body stiffens up and intertwines our fingers together. He pulls me close to him, and feeling the heat radiate off his body helps me relax instantly. That’s right, I need to relax; I can’t show Jinu a good time if I’m stressed about everyone around us. This day has to be perfect if I want Jinu to feel like he could be a human again. 

We approach a cute cafe that’s been trending on social media lately. I haven’t been here yet, but with all the positive reviews, I can’t help feeling excited. They open in the next thirty minutes, and there’s already a small line outside the building waiting to enter. Gripping Jinu’s hand tightly, I pull him behind me as I rush toward the line to secure our spot. We’re fourth in line, and not even ten minutes later, the line grows by about eight couples. 

“Is this place popular?” Jinu leans down to ask me.

“Yes! And I’m so excited! There are so many drinks and meals that I’ve seen online that look so good. I don’t know what I’ll choose!” I whip my phone out and look up the cafe to show Jinu what I am talking about. His eyes widen, and I swear I see a bit of drool run down his chin. 

“You’re right; those look good,” Jinu says.

We spend the next few minutes in line debating what we’ll want once we’re inside, and when the doors open and the hostess finally seats us, I bounce up and down in my chair with excitement. When the server comes by our table, we tell her our order. Mine is a strawberry matcha latte, and Jinu gets a caramel frappe. Then, for our food, we ordered an assortment of things that both of us wanted to try. 

We make small talk and even take a few photos as we wait for our food. Our drinks came out first, and I wanted to sink into the depths of my chair at how good my drink was. Jinu seemed to enjoy his, and he just sat there and sucked the drink down in a couple of gulps. My mouth hangs open as I watch in shock. I try to suppress the laugh that's bubbling up my chest as I see Jinu’s face turn from delight into horror as he clutches the side of his head.

“Ow, why does my head hurt?” Jinu looks at me as if I had poisoned him.

“It’s called a brain freeze, Jinu. When you drink frozen drinks too quickly, it hurts your head.” I cover my mouth with my hand as a few giggles slip past my lips.

The dark-haired male slumps in his chair across from me and pouts like a little child. I was getting ready to tease him even more, but then the server came in front of our table carrying a large platter with all our food on it. She sets each item on the table, and I’ve never been so ready to stuff my face before. I don’t even care that I’m with Jinu; he won’t hold me back from pigging out and enjoying my food. We each have empty plates and load them up with what things we want. I pick up a piece of food with my chopsticks and groan in pleasure as I take a bite. That’s how good it is, and I’ve never been so happy that something lives up to the hype it gets. Jinu doesn’t even notice the weird sound that came out of my mouth cause he’s too busy experiencing the same thing I just did. Let’s just say there were no crumbs, and we got another drink to go before paying.

We make our way to a bookstore that I spend a lot of my time in. When you walk through the large double doors, it’s like you’re being transported into a fairytale world. The owner of this bookstore knew what he was doing, and it’s become a place where I feel truly relaxed. I don’t even know if Jinu likes to read, but I wanted to share one of my safe places with him.

“This place is amazing,” Jinu says, eyes wide like a child seeing the world for the first time.

A smile blooms on my face, and my heart warms at the dark-haired male's reaction. There’s nothing better than showing one of your favorite things to someone, and they enjoy it just as much as you. 

We spent the next two hours wandering around the store. I showed Jinu my favorite books that I’ve read and explained the plot to him in great detail, probably too much detail, but he didn’t seem to mind. He takes me to the folklore section, tells me stories from his past, and points out a few stories that are based on actual demons. Listening to Jinu telling stories from the time when he was a human intrigued me. The way his dark eyes sparkled back to life made my heart skip a beat in my chest. He misses his time as a human, and seeing him like this makes me more determined to change his fate. 

For lunch, Jinu wanted to go to a sushi place, so I took him to one of the best sushi places in town. Having a full breakfast didn’t keep us from eating all we wanted at the sushi place, but after eating so much, I needed to walk around. So I suggested walking through the market that was set up for today. 

A lot of booths were set up selling knick-knacks, jewelry, clothes, and street food. We stopped at each booth, looking over all the items. I felt like I was in one of those movies where we tried on silly hats, sunglasses, and scarves and laughed our asses off. One booth had beautiful jewelry, and I was amazed by every piece. Each is handmade and unique in its own way. The lady behind the booth watches Jinu and me closely, answering questions we have, but at some point, she turns around and grabs something from a box behind her. 

She sets it on the table in front of us and opens it slowly; “I made this ring set with a very special couple in mind. I didn’t want them on display, because I wanted to offer them to two individuals who are deeply in love.” The older lady explains with a smile so sweet it could give me a cavity. 

Jinu and I glance at each other in the shop, choking on the air. I glance away, my face turning bright red. “T-that’s so sweet, but-”

“Can we try them on?” Jinu interrupts me, catching me even more off guard. 

The older lady quickly agrees, takes them out of the box, and hands the rings to us. Jinu slides the ring onto his ring finger, and it fits him perfectly. He gently grabs my hand, thank God, because I’m short-circuiting so badly I can’t move. He holds the dainty ring in his other hand and slides it onto my ring finger, and it’s like the lady made this ring for me. I just stare down at my hand. This is such an intimate moment, and I never thought I’d have a guy sliding a ring on my finger like this unless he was proposing to me.

“How much?” Jinu asks the lady behind the booth.

She waves her hand; “Take them as a gift.” The lady smiles at us, “It seems they were truly made for you two, and it’ll make this old lady happy knowing that you’re wearing them.” 

“We can’t possibly take them without giving you something.” Jinu reaches into his back pocket to grab his wallet, but the lady reaches out and grabs his hands.

She glances over at me, still staring down at my hand, and she chuckles softly, “Just promise me you’ll take good care of her.”

Jinu leans into the older lady, smiling softly as he whispers, “I promise.”

The dark-haired male grabs my hand and pulls me away from the booth, while simultaneously pulling me back into reality.

“Wait! We have to give these rings back!” I say, looking back at the older lady.

“She gifted them to us,” Jinu says nonchalantly. Like the fact that we now have couple rings isn’t that big of a deal. 

IT’S A BIG DEAL!

We get to the point of the market where a few crane games‌are lined up alongside a few strength tests, and a photo booth that's off in the corner. I challenge Jinu in the games to see who’s better. I beat him at the crane game, picking up a stuffed animal before him, and he demolished me in the strength test. I pout and say it’s not fair because he has demon strength. Once we’re done having fun with the games, I drag the taller male into the photo booth with me. We take a couple of goofy photos and some cute ones. I make sure we do another round of photos so we each get two photo strips. Having photos is important to me because I don’t have any photos of people from my past life to look back on. I want to make sure I can always look back at the memories I created with those I care about the most.

Instead of going out to another restaurant for dinner, we just stop at some of the street food carts and pick up an assortment of different things. We plop ourselves down at one of the picnic tables, enjoying the cool breeze as the daytime shifts into night, and eating our steaming hot food. The day is ending, but my chest feels heavy at the thought of having to part ways. Damn, how could I be falling for him so quickly? I wonder if my past thoughts and feelings have anything to do with it, and I wish I knew how Jinu was feeling. Is he feeling any of the same things? I know he has to be feeling at least something.

“There’s one last thing I’d like to do before the night ends,” Jinu says softly, “I saw a sign for an aquarium on our way here.”

“You want to go to the aquarium?” The thought of Jinu wanting to look at aquatic animals makes my chest tighten. It’s such a cute request, how could I say no?

“I’d love that.”

And that’s how we ended up at the aquarium. Thankfully, they had an evening/night opening for people to come and see all the animals. I’ve never been to the aquarium after the sun has set, and it’s like it has a whole different feel to it. Sparkling lights create a glowing path to the next section, and the only other people I see walking around are couples. It’s as if the mood shifted from family-friendly to romantically charged. There are a few couples who seem to think they’re the only ones here, with how they’re kissing and touching each other. Those poor jellyfish have no choice but to watch. 

Jinu and I make our way to the dolphin section, and I watch as two dolphins swim around each other in what seems like a dance. The area is dimly lit, and the glow from inside where the dolphins are is the brightest source of lighting in this section. Jinu steps close to me, our shoulders brushing against one another, and a sharp tingle shoots down my arm. My eyes lock on Jinu’s dark ones, and the way he’s staring so deeply into my irises tells me he also felt it. That shot of electricity between us ignites a fire that neither of us will extinguish. 

The dark-haired male caresses my cheek gently, his fingers soft and yet slightly rough as he runs the pads of his fingertips along my jaw and hooks them behind my ear. Jinu steps closer, our chests brushing against one another as we breathe in heavily. My eyes broke away from the depths of Jinu’s chocolate eyes to look down at his lips, which were a few inches away from mine.

“Thank you for making today the first day I’ve truly enjoyed in my entire existence.” Jinu’s voice comes out deeper than normal with a slight rasp to it, and his fingers that are cradling my head gently stroke my hair. 

I glance back into Jinu’s dark orbs, my voice breathy as I speak, “You deserve to feel this way.”

Once those words leave my lips, Jinu crashes into me. His mouth fits against mine perfectly as our mouths move together in perfect harmony. Kissing someone has never felt so euphoric before. In my past life, I kissed a handful of people, but never really felt anything with those people. In this life, I’ve been too busy to think about dating or having fun with other people. Jinu is technically my first kiss here. Our patterns glow brightly as our kiss deepens. Jinu’s body pressed flush against mine, his large hands gripping my body like he wanted to be closer to me, but after a few moments, he broke the kiss.

He rested his forehead against mine, and my chest heaved up and down as I caught my breath from the intensity of the kiss. I can’t believe that just happened, but every part of my body, my soul, is screaming that it was meant to happen.

Jinu walks me back to our meeting place, hand in hand, and gives me a soft kiss goodbye as he vanishes into a cloud of smoke. 

The next few days are crazy as the girls and I are busy fighting demons, and everything that has our faces and the Huntrix name on it is replaced with the Saja Boys. It is disheartening to have something you worked so hard on get pushed to the side and overtaken by something new and shiny. Or something that’s wormed its way into the minds of the people. Even though the Saja Boys are our enemy and we’re fighting against them, I still make my way to the secret spot where Jinu and I meet up every night. These past few nights we’ve done less talking and a lot more making out and groping. It’s bad. I need to not get sucked into the sexual tension and stick to my plan!

He’s just so hot! And when he looks down at me with those dark eyes, his gaze holds sinful thoughts that I’m dying to figure out. Yeah, we can’t keep our hands off each other, and all I think about is how I can’t wait to see him again. To feel his body pressed against mine, our lips locked together as our tongues swirled around one another, and the way I can feel his excitement pressing against me while I’m straddling his lap. Oh God, it’s such a distraction that it's hindering my demon-hunting skills. That’s it; from now on, I won’t be kissing him until after I free him.

——————————

It’s the day of the fan meet, and the girls and I are hyping ourselves up for a day of interacting with fans. Events like this are important because they help grow our bond with the fans, which then creates an even more powerful experience when they listen to our music. But obviously, I know the Saja Boys are going to crash our meet and greet, and I plan to use this opportunity to the fullest by showing Jinu how much the fans genuinely love him. He still hasn’t told me whether he feels like he could live as a human again, and I plan to get an answer from him soon. 

The venue doors open, and all our fans excitedly line up to finally meet and interact with us for a couple of minutes. When a small group of people comes to the front of the line in sleeping bags, the corner of my lips twists up, and I have to fight the laughter that wants to break out. I wonder if they stayed out all night waiting in line just so they could make this appearance. As they take off their sleeping bags, the crowd goes crazy at the sight of the Saja Boys. Bobby calls for another table to be added, and I quickly suggest that they put the table with ours. I look at my girls apologetically as the boys come to sit with us.

Jinu slides into the chair next to me, and I look at him with a playful smirk. “So did you guys camp out overnight just to be first in line to see us?”

“Maybe,” the dark-haired male leans into my side, and his eyes roam down my body. Deep roses bloom on my cheeks from the way he’s looking at me, and it’s corrupting my mind with images of his body against mine. His arm is resting on the back of my chair, and he leans in more to whisper in my ear.

“Do they know your secret?” His breath tickles my ear.

I whip my head around to make eye contact with the demon male sitting next to me. The gears were turning in my head about what he could mean. I thought Jinu and I were on good terms, that he wouldn’t be threatening me all ominously like this. 

“They already know,” I say sternly, all the bubbly feelings inside of me now replaced with anxious tremors. 

“I’m not talking about your patterns.” The sound of Jinu’s voice causes a knot in my throat, and I suddenly feel like I can’t breathe. The dark-haired male reaches into my pocket and pulls out my phone. Opening up the camera, he places the phone in front of me so I can see myself. 

The face looking back at me through the camera is one I’ve almost completely forgotten about. (H/c) hair, (e/c) eyes, and (s/c) skin. 

“(Y/n), that’s your name, right?” Jinu purrs into my ear. If I weren’t so freaked out and feeling like I was going to throw up, I would’ve melted at the way he said my name.

I glance over at the other Huntrix girls to see how they’re reacting, but they don’t seem to notice that I’ve changed into a completely different person.

“Don’t worry, only you and I can see the way you look right now. To everyone else, you still look like Rumi.” Jinu leans back in his chair, a sinister smirk plastered on his face, looking proud of himself.

The fan event goes on, but I’m stuck in a void. I’m unable to be present with my fans and give them the interaction they deserve. How does Jinu know about me? Did Gwi-Ma somehow figure it out and is now using it to get Jinu to turn on me? Of all the plans that I came up with, this wasn’t a variant. Will this change everything? 

I shut myself in my bedroom once we got back home from the fan meet. Too many thoughts are going through my head, and every time I peek in the mirror that hangs on my wall, I still look like my past self. What did Jinu do to me? How come every time I look at myself, I see (Y/n) and not Rumi? Did Jinu mean it when he said everyone else still saw me as Rumi? I finally gave in and just stood in front of the mirror. The outfit I wore during the signing was still covering my body. I shrugged the jacket off to see if the patterns were still marking my arms, or if they had disappeared. My arms were bare; nothing was etched into them, and for a moment, I felt relief. If I go back to my past self, does this mean I won’t be half-demon? But as I turned my arm around, the patterns popped out one by one like they were hiding from me, and I finally found them.

“I guess I’m just meant to be cursed no matter what,” I whisper.

I plop back down on my bed and roll into the fetal position. What do I do now? I need to rethink all the plans I made, but most importantly, I need answers from Jinu. Has he always known and was just using me, or did he just find out? I groan into my arms. My heart aches at the thought of him not actually caring about me, and just using me like the demon he is. I tore my guard away in hopes it would help us get closer, but I probably should’ve left at least a few walls up. 

Derpy slowly emerges from the ground with Magpie sitting on his head. I glare at the creatures, knowing exactly why they’re here. 

“So he thinks, after the way he acted today, that I’ll just meet up with him, forgive him, and then suck face again,” I hiss at the demon animals. “Hell no!”

I sit back in my bed and pout. I know I need to talk to him, but I don’t want to see his face tonight. The creatures don’t leave my side and hang out in the room with me as I brood and rethink my plans. But my brain can’t think of anything different from what I already came up with, so I toss my notebook and grab my music sheets instead. It’s time I finished Takedown and see what the girls think.

“A demon with no feelings don’t deserve to live, it’s so obvious.”

I try singing the song, but the anger that’s inside of me bubbles over, and I end up scribbling over the page. A knock sounds on the door, and my eyes dart to the side where Derpy and Magpie are. “You have to go!” I shoo them toward the ground, and they slowly disappear. I watch where I’m going so I don’t knock the trash can over. There’s no energy in me to hide the demon creatures from Mira right now. I open the door to see the pink-haired female leaning against my door frame. Her face is stone cold as always, but her eyes are glazed over with worry.

“Can I come in?” Mira asks.

“Of course.” My voice comes out softly, and I step out of the way to let her in.

“Are you okay?” The older female asks as she sits on my bed, “You’ve seemed weird since the Saja Boys interrupted our fan meet.”

I sit down next to Mira and sigh deeply; “Having them show up like that threw me off, and I know I should’ve handled the situation better than I did.”

“Hey,” Mira looks at me with her intense gaze, “Things are stressful right now, and we’re handling things the best that we can.” Mira glances at the ground and frowns as she sees the sheet music that I scribbled all over. “What’s this?” She says as she picks the piece of paper up.

“I’m sorry,” I say genuinely as I grab the sheet of music from her, “I kind of got angry as I was trying to finish the song. I’ll rewrite it, don’t worry.”

Mira glares at me for a moment. “Is there something else going on that you’re not telling us?”

I fall back onto my back and stare up at the ceiling; “Besides the stress of defeating Gwi-Ma, and getting rid of my patterns? No, nothing at all.” I stare at my arms as the purple markings glow. 

“Well, if anything else is going on, you know you can talk to us, right?” Mira grabs my hand and squeezes it.

I smile softly at her, “I know.”

——————————

It’s the next night, and I make my way over to Jinu and I’s spot with Derpy and Magpie following along beside me. The Idol Awards are in two days, and I need to fix this mess before it gets even worse. I elegantly flip my way onto the roof, where Jinu is waiting for me.

“So you finally decided you wanted to see me again?” The dark-haired male says smugly. 

I roll my eyes and cross my arms over my chest. “Look, Jinu, I need you to answer my questions honestly.”

The tall male nods his head for me to go on; “How long have you known about me? And what do you know?”

Jinu steps closer to me, and runs his hand through his hair; “That day when we met up here, and your hair was down. That was the first time I saw you as (Y/n), and I’ve seen you that way since.”

My mind races to find the memories of what he’s talking about, and it suddenly makes sense. I don’t remember putting my hair down because it wasn’t down. My hair was in its normal braid, but when I saw Jinu, it magically fell down. He was seeing me as (Y/n), my hair was how I normally wore it in my past life, and because of that, Rumi’s hair was suddenly not in a braid anymore.

“You’ve known for that long?” So when we had that day together, he wasn’t looking at Rumi; he was looking at me. Does that mean he likes me more than Rumi? I shake my head. Rumi and I are the same; the only difference is our looks. Then, the realization dawned on me. Jinu only told me he knew about the past me, so he could get into my head. He’s trying to trip me up, which means he’s still working toward his goal with Gwi-Ma.

I rip my sword out of thin air and hold it up to Jinu’s throat. My eyes filled with anger and heartache. I bite my lower lip as I try to hold back tears. “What do you know about me?” The dark-haired male stands on the other end of the sword, face composed in a neutral line, and doesn’t answer. “Tell me!” I yell out. My voice came out coarse, causing the Honmoon to ripple. My eyes glance around as fear crawls its way up my throat. I can’t let the demon inside me take over.

Jinu lightly touches the tip of my blade and pushes it away; “I’ll tell you, but you need to relax first.” The dark-haired male takes a seat on the edge of the roof, and I take a few deep breaths before getting rid of my sword and sitting a respectful distance away from the demon male.

“When we first fought against each other, and I saw your patterns, Gwi-Ma knew instantly that you have his mark, but he doesn’t have control over you. So he did some looking into your past to figure out how you could be half-demon. But he found things he wasn’t expecting.” Jinu looks deeply into my eyes.

“Your mother, Miyoung, wanted to have a baby, but she could not conceive one. When fighting against a couple of demons, the one she was fighting was a higher demon and could see what her desires were. He saw she wanted a child and made a deal with her. That he would give her a child as long as it was his. At first, Miyoung refused, but eventually, she agreed to the deal. She wanted a baby, no matter what the cost would be. When you were born, Gwi-Ma could sense an imbalance in things and summoned your father back. He thought he could overthrow Gwi-Ma by having a child who was stronger than him, and Gwi-Ma didn’t take kindly to being undermined, so he killed him. Your mother died because of the deal she made with the demon, but because it wasn’t a deal with Gwi-Ma, she wasn’t sent to the demon world.”

Tears prickle in my eyes as I listen to the story he’s telling me. I don’t know if I can trust what he is saying, but if Miyoung wanted to have a baby so badly that she’d bear a demon's baby, then that must mean she truly loved all of me.

“While Gwi-Ma was digging into your past, he realized that your soul seemed different from other souls here. He found out you weren’t from this world and gave me the power I would need to see you as you are.” 

We sat in silence for a while‌, while I absorbed everything he told me. I can’t fully accept what he’s said, for all I know, he’s lying about the facts. “How can I trust what you’re telling me?” I look into Jinu’s dark irises.

“Talk to Celine. She can confirm my story about your mother.” A flicker of sympathy takes over Jinu’s orbs as he looks into my (e/c) ones.

I glance over the edge of the roof, looking down at the ground that's far below my dangling feet. “If you know about my past life, then you should know you can trust me when I say I can set you free by sealing the Honmoon. I’ve seen how things here unfold, and I guess I can’t wrap my head around why you wouldn’t trust me.”

Jinu jumps up from where he was sitting and stares down at me in shock. “What?” His hands are shaking by his side.

“You know, in my past life, I saw how things work out-”

“No, I don’t know,” Jinu says sternly.

I look up at the dark-haired male and quirk my head to the side. Oh, no. I fucked up.

“So you’ve always known what was going to happen? That means everything between us was just a lie? A manipulation?” Jinu stares at me with disgust.

“No!” I yell as I stand to my feet, “The day we spent together and everything after that never happened here originally. Everything between us is the most real thing I’ve felt since I was reborn in this world.” I step forward to grab Jinu’s hand, but he takes a step back; “Jinu, I’ve felt strongly about you before I even knew you were real, and I always wanted to save you, to set you free. I’ve always known the real you, and that never changed how I feel. You made a mistake, and you’ve paid long enough for it. Please trust me and let me help you.” I didn’t think I would have to beg Jinu, but here we are.

“I-I need some time to think,” Jinu said before vanishing.

——————————

After the intense conversation I had with Jinu, it was hard for me to concentrate on anything else. There were a few people in the movie they showed getting their souls taken, and I planned to show up and save them. I know it’s nothing to the number of souls they’ll take, but if I can at least save a few people who died in the movie, then that’s a win for me. I had to push through all the emotions I was feeling to make sure I was there for those who needed me, but it was hard. At least I still showed up and saved the girl who was getting a drink. She freaked out when she saw me. We took a few photos together, and I even bought her some snacks. 

I could save the guy at the bus station without being caught, but I paused in front of the missing persons board. So many posters are piled on top of each other, of people who just disappeared. Their poor souls are being taken, and their families do not know what's happened to them. We’ve been working hard and fighting demons like crazy, but unfortunately, we aren’t able to save everyone. 

I make my way back home, shower, and then curl up in bed. Tomorrow is the rehearsal for the Idol Awards, and I want to be well-rested and, hopefully, have a clearer mind.

I couldn’t sleep.

I wake up the next morning feeling groggy, so I wash my face in cold water, hoping it’ll help me look more alive. But I still look miserable. We make it to the venue where the Idol Awards are going to be held, and we take our places on the stage. We get a couple of hours to go over our performance, and as of right now, we have two songs lined up to sing. Golden and Takedown. We go over our Golden performance, and each practice run goes off without a hitch. My voice is back in its best shape, and my heart swells with warmth each time I sing that song. It holds such a special place in my heart. But as we practice Takedown, that emotion goes away. This song is hateful, and it’s going to make our fans question us. We can’t risk that.

“Hey, why are we stopping?” Mira questions. My body stands still in the middle of the stage as I look out where all the fans will be.

“I just—I don’t think this song is the right one to sing tomorrow. The fans won’t react the way we need them to with this song.” I bite my lip as I wait for their responses.

“Really? You’re telling us now? When the Idol Awards are tomorrow.” The pink-haired female crosses her arms and glares at me.

“Maybe we can fix it! What do you think needs changing?” Zoey looks at me hopefully, pulling up her notebook to look at other lyrics we could use.

“The song is good how it is, but it won’t turn the Honmoon Gold. I don’t think we should perform it tomorrow. It’s too risky.”

Bobby slowly walks into the heated scene while holding a basket of goodies for us, but we don’t even get the chance to enjoy what he brought us because the Honmoon ripples. The three of us quickly take off to where the interference is, and we end up on top of a fast-moving train with a handful of demons crawling around it. 

“I don’t understand why you’re having doubts suddenly,” Mira says as she slashes through one demon. “It’s too late to write a new song. The Idol Awards are tomorrow!” 

“Mira, please,” I look at the pink-haired girl, begging her, “Just trust me. Everything will still work, just without Takedown.”

“Guys!” Zoey yells, pointing behind us.

A large magenta hole is ripping through the ceiling of the bridge that the train is moving on, and hundreds of demons fall from it, crawling toward us.

“The tear!” I yell out, my eyes widening. I’ve never seen anything like that before. Looking at it scared me, but I had to quickly pull myself together. I can’t show the demons that I’m scared; they’ll use that against me.

“If you think Takedown isn’t the right song, then let's test it.” Mira looks at me with her sharp eyes.

I narrow my eyes and nod in agreement. I have to prove that this isn’t the right song, and the only way to do that is to show that it’s not as powerful when fighting against the demons.

“I don’t think you’re ready for the takedown! A demon with no feelings don’t deserve to live, it’s so obvious.”

And just like I said, the song didn’t work the way we wanted it to. I got my ass thrown across the train, and we had to use every ounce of strength in us to fight the horde of demons. Our chests heaved as we killed the last one, but it just didn’t feel right. Something was wrong. We quickly made our way onto the train, but it was empty. The people who were once here have disappeared, but their belongings stayed behind in their place.

We hung our heads in shame and defeat. The feeling of depression seeped into my bones after that fight. Fuck! How could I let our feelings get so high and risk all those people's souls? Now they’re gone forever. I can see that the other girls are feeling the same way. Their faces look tired, and the once-soft lines under their eyes have grown. 

“You’re right,” Mira says softly, “we can’t afford to take risks right now. We have to work hard together to get through this.”

The younger girl nods in agreement, her eyes glued to the ground, and the three of us slowly leave the train station.

——————————

I leave early on my way to meet up with Jinu so I can stop by Celine's. I haven’t had the chance to talk to her about my mom and dad yet, but I need confirmation before I see Jinu tonight. Using my key, I open her front door and walk through the large house. Everything in here reminds me of my childhood. All the wonderful memories, but also all the memories I wish I didn’t have. My relationship with Celine is confusing. I love her a lot, but her presence also pains me. She reminds me of everything that’s wrong with me, and I always feel ashamed of myself when I’m around her.

“Oh, Rumi, what are you doing here?” Celine says once she sees me walk into the kitchen.

“Can we talk?” I take a seat on the stool next to the island.

“Of course,” Celine stopped what she was doing and moved to stand on the opposite side of the island, facing me.

“Why was my father a demon?” I don’t bother beating around the bush; “I don’t understand how my mom, a hunter, could have a baby with a demon.” 

Celine stares at me for a moment before sighing, running her hand through her thick locks. “Would you like something to drink?” Celine turns around to open the fridge. She always tries to avoid this conversation. 

“Celine, please, just tell me. I’m not a kid anymore.” I say a bit sternly. 

The older woman closes the fridge and leans against it. The gears rotate inside her head as she thinks things over. “Okay, I’ll tell you.” She moves into the living room and pats the spot next to her. I move next to her, and she grabs my hands in hers. “Your mother always wanted to have kids. Having a baby to love and raise was almost more important than her duty as a hunter. She was in a serious relationship for a long time, and they felt the time was right to have kids. But Miyoung wasn’t getting pregnant. She went to the doctor, and the doctor told her she was infertile. It broke her. For days, she cried, and the man she loved left. He couldn’t be with her if they weren’t able to have babies.”

“That’s awful,” I whisper.

“After that, your mom still wanted to have kids. She never gave up and was looking into adoption, but they told her the only way they would accept her as a candidate was if she were married. She felt defeated. Not too long after, we had one of our hardest battles yet, and one demon wouldn’t leave Miyoung alone. She let her weakness be seen, and the demon fed off of it. He offered her the chance to have a kid so long as it was his. Miyoung gave in and accepted his deal, and that’s how you came to be.”

Tears are trickling down my cheeks at this point. So, what Jinu told me was true. I wipe my cheeks, smearing the salty tracks across my face. Celine reaches out and rubs the wetness away, and then cradles my face.

“Oh, baby, she loved you very much and cherished every moment she had with you. Rumi, you were the best thing that ever happened to your mother.”

I grab Celine’s hands and remove them from my face. “She loved me despite who I am,” I whisper. 

The older woman's face falls. She knows exactly what I’m saying. That my mother loved me despite being half demon, but Celine only loves a part of me. The human part. 

“Rumi,” Celine reaches out to me, but I stand up and put distance between us. “You know I love you.”

“Not all of me, but don’t worry,” my eyes fill with tears again, “We’re gonna seal the Honmoon, and you’ll be able to fully accept me.” I turn around and rush out of the house. Celine followed behind me, calling out Rumi’s name, but I ignored her.

My tears are almost fully dried up as I make my way to Jinu. Once I get near our meeting place, I see him leaning against the building instead of on the roof. He’s petting Derpy, and has the sweetest smile on his face. I walked toward them, scratched the side of Derpy’s face, and gave Magpie some love before leaning on the wall next to the tall male. 

“So you thought about what I said?” My voice comes out quieter than I meant it to.

“All night, but,” Jinu looks deeply into my eyes, “You really know what’ll happen?” 

I nod my head and move closer to the dark-haired male; “Yes, it won’t be easy, Gwi-Ma will fight us, but in the end, we’ll be victorious.” I grab Jinu’s hand. “We can be free to be ourselves, to be together.” I intertwined our fingers. “Don’t you want that?” I look into Jinu’s dreamy dark eyes. Showing him how much he means to me through the look in my eyes. He steps closer, closing the gap, and rests his forehead on mine.

“(Y/n),” my heart skips a beat as he says my name, “You’re breaking through all the dark in me when I thought that nobody could. And you’re waking up all these parts of me that I thought were buried for good. It’s easy when I’m with you, no one sees me like you do.”

A bright smile forms on my face, and I jump into Jinu’s arms, burying my face into his chest; “You’ll do this with me?”

Jinu’s large hands cup my face, lifting my face so our lips are only an inch apart; “We’ll beat him, together.”

Jinu’s lips crash into mine. Our lips move roughly against one another like we won’t be able to breathe unless we do. My feet float off the ground, but at this moment, I don’t even care. Jinu lands us on the roof and lays me down as he hovers over my body. His eyes looked down at me as if I were the only person he cared for. Jinu dips his head down, capturing my lips in a much gentler and arousing kiss. His large hands moved slowly over my body, feeling every dip and curve. Pausing just above the waistband of my sweats.

I break away from the kiss and pout softly. Jinu chuckles at my reaction and leans down to kiss along my jawline; “Is my little huntress wanting more?” He asks in that deep, husky voice that causes my arousal to pool in my thong and then nips at the sensitive flesh below my ear. A gasp leaves my lips, and my hips buck a little. 

“Jinu,” I whine out, “quit teasing me.” I glare at the older male, who’s enjoying my reactions too much.

It’s been too long since I’ve been touched by another person—an entire lifetime, if you will. The only touch I’ve felt is my hand and a vibrator since I’ve been Rumi. I know what it’s like to be with a partner, but being inside Rumi’s body, a virgin, makes everything feel more heightened.

Jinu dips his hand below my waistband and rubs gently against my clothed clit, causing my body to jolt at his touch. He sucks in a sharp breath; “You’re so fucking wet, princess.” He runs the tip of his finger between my folds, pushing the fabric of my thong between them. “Is this all for me?”

I nod my head quickly; “Y-yes.”

“You’re so eager.” Jinu removes his hand from my pants. “Do I need to teach you some patience?” 

I glare up at the dark-haired male and shake my head; “Jinu, please,” I push my hips up so my sensitive part brushes against his thigh that’s positioned between my legs. “Touch me,” I beg him.

“How can I resist when you beg so sweetly?” Jinu looks down at me with sinister eyes, and in one swift motion, he pulls down my sweats and thong. 

The chilly night air hits my glistening folds, adding a fresh sensation that erupts through my body. Jinu sits up and spreads my legs open so he can look at my pussy. His eyes darken with hunger as he looks at the sight of me lying before him. He rests his hands on my hipbones and grips them roughly, pulling me so I’m closer to him, and then he runs his hands up my stomach, tugging on the end of my shirt before ripping it over my head. I wasn’t wearing a bra, so my breasts were completely on display for him. My nipples hardened instantly as the air nipped at them.

Jinu smirks and makes his way down my body until his face is positioned between my legs. He peppers soft kisses on the inside of my thighs and even sucks a few dark spots onto them. His mouth finally meets ‌my clit, and he flicks it a few times with his tongue. A mixture of a gasp and a moan leaves my mouth with each flick. Once he suctions his lips around my clit, it’s over for me. My body writhes in pleasure, my hand shoots into his dark locks, and my fingers tangle in his hair. His assault on my clit is precise, and he doesn’t slow down once, keeping my body in an overwhelming state of ecstasy. 

Without warning, he slips a finger inside of me, a loud moan leaving my lips at the sudden intrusion, and pumps slowly at first, stretching me out a little before adding a second finger. Giving my walls little time to adjust before pumping them in and out of me while still using his mouth on my clit.

“J-Jinu!” I moan his name. My body bucks against him, and the overwhelming feeling is becoming so much that I try to move away. His free arm grips me tightly, keeping me in place.

“Mmhm, baby,” Jinu shakes his head as he glances up at me, “Let me finish my meal.” He slowly licks up my folds while maintaining eye contact. Fuck, how does this ancient demon know how to be so hot? Actually, I don’t want to think about that.

Jinu goes back to what he was doing, and it doesn’t take long before I moan loudly, my body shaking below his, and my juices coat his face. The dark-haired male pulls away from me and licks his lips before hovering over my naked body. “You taste so sweet.” He purrs softly. 

My hands run over his clothed chest, and I grab the hem of his shirt, pulling it over his head. “You have too many clothes on.” Jinu chuckles and watches as I work on his pants next and pull them down. He kicks them off and strokes his hardened member through his boxers.

I bite my bottom lip as I stare at the large bulge straining against the fabric of his underwear. Jinu hooks his fingers in the waistband and slowly slides them down, his cock springing free in release. My jaw almost drops to the ground as I take in the sight of his member. He’s long and thick with a few veins bulging along the length of his shaft. His tip is ‌dark pink and glistening with precum, making my body shudder at the sight.

“Do all demons get this perk, or were you blessed with this cock as a human?” I ask without thinking.

Jinu smirks, pumping himself gently as he looks down at me; “I was blessed.”

Jinu sits up on his knees, grabs my ass, and lifts my bottom. My legs instinctively wrap around his waist, and my entrance brushes against his swollen tip. Just feeling him brush against me makes my eyes roll back. 

“You ready, princess?” Jinu asks, looking down at me with care.

“I’m ready.” 

Jinu pushes his tip into my entrance, stretching me like nothing I’ve felt before. A stinging sensation burns through my body, and I put my hands out to press against Jinu’s muscular abdomen. 

“Jinu, wait!” I say quickly, not wanting him to push any further; “Fuck,” I hiss in pain, “I- I’m a virgin.” I guess it doesn’t matter that I’m in my past body. Talk about becoming a born-again virgin.

“Do you want me to stop?” Jinu asks, a worried look on his face.

“No, just go slowly.” The pain is already easing up with his tip sitting at my entrance, but I know once he pushes in further, the pain will come back.

Jinu slowly inched his way, taking breaks when he felt me tighten, and pushing further when my body relaxed. It takes a couple of minutes before he’s fully seethed inside of me. Our breathing is heavy, and our bodies are ready to feel more than this agonizingly slow pace we’re going at. But Jinu is being such a gentleman, going slow, and listening to my body. Being that his member is huge and I’m a virgin, we need to go slower so my body can adjust well. 

“I- I think you can move now,” I whisper. 

Jinu pulls back slowly and begins pumping in and out of me. He’s moving slowly and lovingly, letting my body relax with his gentle movements. Once he feels that my walls have loosened around his large member, he picks up the pace. Thrusting into me faster and harder. The way he has me propped up and wrapped around his waist makes it so he’s hitting the right spot deep within me. Moans fall out of my lips, and my hands reach out to grab at the roof below me. 

The dark-haired male takes in my pleased expression as a sign to go faster. He moves at a merciless speed and grips my hips hard enough to leave bruises as he pounds into my soaked pussy. My body is tingling with pleasure, and my moans are becoming so loud that if anyone were to walk by, they would hear me. My mind is fuzzy, and the only thing I can focus on is the way Jinu feels buried deep inside of me. 

After a couple more thrusts, my walls flutter around Jinu’s cock, his grip on my hips tightening at this feeling, and he somehow pounds more roughly into me. 

“Oh, my God, Jinu!” I yell out his name as my walls clench down like a vice around the dark-haired male's member. My body convulsed under him with pure pleasure. 

“Oh, fuck, babygirl, you’re so damn tight.” Jinu breathes out. After a few more thrusts, he shoves his cock balls deep into me, his tip twitches, and I feel the spurt of his seed deep inside of me. Jinu groans out as he leans over me, letting my pussy milk him of every drop. He then plops on top of me, his cock still buried in me, and kisses my forehead.

“You took me so well, princess.” As he slides out of me, I can feel the thickness of his cum seeping out and down my thighs. Jinu grabs his shirt and uses it to clean me up as best as he can, and then he pulls me into his chest. 

We stay like that, cuddling on the rooftop, skin to skin, as we look up at the stars for the rest of the night.

——————————

AN: Is it hot in here, or is it just me? What do you guys think of this chapter? It’s a long one! And what do you think of my theory/twist I came up with? The main theory I have for Rumi’s mother is that she fell in love with a demon, and that’s how Rumi came to be. My other theory is much darker, and I would like to think that one isn’t the case. I wanted something different from what I’ve read so far, so I went with theory three for Rumi’s mother, which is that she was infertile but wanted a baby so badly that she made a deal with a demon. In my version of KPDH, only high-ranking demons can make deals, but the human who makes a deal with them doesn’t get sentenced to the demon world like they would if they made a deal with Gwi-Ma; they just die at some point. Then, I also wanted Jinu to experience the reader in their true form to make this a true x reader. As fun as it can be to be in Rumi’s body, it would feel much nicer to have Jinu like you for you. Which he does, he falls for the reader as they are. Also, Gwi-Ma could sense the soul inside of Rumi as being foreign, and could even see what it looked like. Normally, souls look like their outer shell, but Rumi’s looked like a different person. That’s how Gwi-Ma knew the reader came from a different world. When Jinu explained those things, the reader assumed he just knew everything, but really, they had no way of knowing what her past life was like.

Taglist: @acaffeinated-constellation @satansdaughter123

[literallypyro]

How about a scenario where all of the mercs react to you being in a coma/waking up from a coma? I'm in the mood for angst!

(insert that one scene from the princess and the frog when prince navine and his servant accept the deal with Dr Facilier)

Also.... LOKI PFP SPOTTED‼️🫵

This can be read as platonic or pre-relationship for any of them!

I'm honestly excited to write this one! I hope you enjoy!

I will wait for you

They never expected it. They didn't know about the enemy Redmond had made in the process of trying to take down his brother. None of them knew who they were, and none of them even noticed something was wrong until they had seen the shadow sneaking away from their base.

Nothing was missing, at least they couldn't find any evidence of anything missing. Everyone was suspicious, some more than others. However, with nothing evidently wrong, nobody did anything.

The moment they realized the figure wrapped in the darkness of night had nearly doomed them was in the middle of battle. You had been shot. When you crumpled to the ground instead of getting sent to the respawn room, your team panicked.

The BLU team almost didn't listen until their Heavy— the one who had shot you— forced them to stop firing.

It seemed as if your body knew something happened to the respawn room. It clung to consciousness, but it was quickly getting worse.

Your vision was blurred and you could barely process anything you heard.

"What the hell happened?" You could hear Scout with the most distraught tone he ever had.

"They should have respawned by now!" Soldier shouted with an uncharacteristic amount of worry.

"You don't think I know that?" Medic hissed with a venomous tone. You could see him kneeling over you, blocking out the sun and making it only slightly easier for you to see. "Ach, this does not look good. Someone carry them to the med bay. I need to go prepare my things."

°•'~ᴗ͈_ᴗ͈~`•°

Medic rushed off to the med bay with a look of fearful urgency on his face. No one had ever seen him sprint quite like he did then. Scout was the one to pick you up and follow right behind Medic, an obvious choice because he could get you there the fastest.

The entire team could feel a weight in their hearts. For the first time in a long time, everyone grasped how mortal you were, and none of them liked it.

Medic wouldn't let anyone in the room while he operated on you. He needed to be completely alone. He needed to concentrate fully. He spent hours removing the bullets. He was more stressed than ever when his medigun could only patch up the holes but not bring you back to normal.

°•'~ᴗ͈_ᴗ͈~`•°

The team could barely look at you at first while you were hooked up to all those machines. It had been so long since any of them had gotten this close to death.

Sniper felt as if his lungs wanted to quit when he saw you. He could only tilt his hat to hide his face and leave the room. He knew others would stay there with you while he processed everything. He could barely process the emotions he had. They were so strong he physically felt them. He spent a lot of time watching Scout when the little ball of angered grief was outside.

Scout felt a surge of anger when he saw you. The kind of anger that makes your organs feel too big to fit in your body. The kind of anger that can only be let out through violence of some sort. Running like he was chasing that bitch who broke the respawn machine, breaking something, using Heavy's punching bag, you name it. Engineer even gave him some old useless machines to break with his bat.

Speaking of Engineer, he seemed to be taking it relatively well on the outside. On the inside, though, he wasn't taking it well at all. He lost all motivation to work on his machines. He turned all of his attention to the respawn machine. He spent many sleepless nights looking for what was wrong with it. When he finally fixed it, he spent a good portion of his time drinking with Demoman or asking for updates on you.

Demoman was one of the people the rest of the team went to when they needed comfort. Although he was usually teetering on the edge of being blackout drunk, he always wanted to help his teammates settle their minds. Although he didn't feel very optimistic, he would spend time thinking of good things to help the others.

Heavy was another one people went to when they needed reassurance. He was one of the people handling it the best. He had seen tragedy and hardship his whole life, and while he was still worried sick, he knew how to get through it. He helped the others and gave them some genuinely useful coping methods that fit for each of them. He also asked for constant updates on any progress you made and used any good news to help the team feel better.

Spy was seen even less than before. He didn't let it show around anyone else, but he was one of the ones taking it the hardest. He was going through his packs of cigarettes faster than ever before, and would have three or four glasses of whiskey rather than the one, maybe two that was normal for him. He did the bare minimum to take care of himself, and sometimes, not even that much.

Pyro was also hit devastatingly hard by the situation. They often dissociated. Their most common state was sitting completely still and staring at nothing. Their breathing was barely visible, their chest barely moving from how shallow and slow it was. It was almost impossible to break them out of it, their name having to be called several times before they turned their head towards the source. Heavy nearly had to force feed them just to make sure they were eating.

Soldier was only somewhat himself. When he wasn't standing guard at the door, he was pestering the others to try and find who sabotaged the respawn machine or just sitting in his room and trying to process his emotions. He was actually surprisingly good at handling the emotions of sadness and grief. He may not be smart by anyone's standards, but he actually has a specific type of emotional intelligence that not many quite understand, which helped him a lot while you were in a coma.

If it weren't on Medic's shoulders to keep you alive and heal you, he would be a complete wreck. When he wasn't changing your IV bags, checking your vitals, and maintaining everything you were hooked up to, he was searching for some miraculous cure for your situation. Papers, books, and personal experiments littered his desk. He was rarely seen doing anything but working. He had to fix this.

Nobody wanted to admit it out loud, but they were losing hope after several months of nothing. They all felt the weight of your absence in their daily activities. The base was unusually quiet all the time. The team rarely had the energy to manage anything above a whisper or a mumble.

°•'~ᴗ͈_ᴗ͈~`•°

"Whuh...?"

Scout was the first to find out when he came to check on you. He ran through the halls, shouting of your return to consciousness like Paul Revere. A few of them almost didn't believe him. However, they couldn't deny how all the anger he had was gone and was replaced by subtle tears in the waterlines of his eyes.

The team burst into the room to find you talking with a shaken Medic.

Soldier was the first to step forward, falling back into his usual personality. "How DARE you scare us like that, maggot? The team was falling apart! I've never seen such a sorry display from what is supposed to be an elite group of mercenaries!" Heavy put a hand on Soldier's shoulder to calm him down.

Pyro had to be reminded that you weren't fully better yet so they wouldn't crush you with a hug. You could feel them shaking and hear their sobs finally come out after so long of being completely static.

Scout wiped his eyes, laughing slightly at himself. "Look at me, dude. You got me crying like I ain't done since I was a little kid! Man, I'm just glad you're back."

Some of the team— Sniper, Demoman, Spy, Engineer, Heavy, and Medic— stayed silent and let the others talk to you first. They had the patience. They knew you would still be there when the others were done indirectly fighting for your attention.

It took a little over an hour for them to relax and let the others have their turn to talk to you.

Demoman seemed to breathe easier than he ever had before. "I tried to keep the team morale up, but I don't think I did a very good job. They'll be feeling a lot better now that you're awake. I know I am." His voice shook slightly as if happy sobs were fighting tooth and nail to be set free.

Engineer place a hand on your shoulder. His goggles were gone, and you could see how he was tearing up similarly to Scout. "I damn near can't believe my eyes. I was starting to think you wouldn't pull through. Maybe when you get to feeling better, you can come help me out in the workshop? I've fallen way behind."

Spy could barely even think of what to say. "Maybe now that you're getting better, things can return to normal." Though his words would seem underwhelming to anyone else, you knew him well enough to hear the hints of relief in his voice. You understood how he was and could hear how grateful he was that you pulled through.

Sniper had taken off his hat by this point, gripping it as if to ground himself in the moment. "We should probably work on your dodging skills, yeah?" Even though he didn't say much, you could feel the weight of his words. You could see how his face was lit up like it only did when he was completely filled with joy.

Heavy was quick to agree with him. "Da, team would be devastated if this repeated. We cannot express happiness enough you are better."

Medic waited until everyone left for his turn to speak with you. He sat down in a chair next to the hospital bed in which you laid. He took off his glasses, rubbed his eyes, and rested his elbows on his knees. The exhaustion he had was more than obvious. You could tell from the bags under his eyes that he worked tirelessly for you.

He looked up at you with furrowed brows and a weak smile. "You know... I don't think I have ever had a patient so difficult. It was challenging, but I... I'm glad I was able to help you."

"I think you need to rest." Your voice was soft and empathetic. You couldn't imagine how stressed he must have been. It was clearly enough to make him seem almost completely sane, after all. "Thank you so much for keeping me alive."

"You are right." He sighed and stood up with a stiffness in his bones. "I will check on you in the morning."

You smiled gently. "Sleep well."

[toasttt11]

video

June 9, 2025

Luke gave Allison a side eye as she had a small smile on her face as she was texting someone.

She had gotten back to Boston yesterday afternoon and her brothers especially Luke noticed she looked happier. She had been kinda sad the last few months which Luke knew was because of what was going on with James. Her brothers didn’t know yet what was making her happy.

Allison turned her phone off ignoring the look she knew was coming from Luke. She would tell Luke first about James but she wanted to keep it just to herself for just a tiny bit at least.

She got out of the car with her three brothers and they headed inside for another day of the Bauer combine.

Allison was wearing a white bauer lululemon scuba jacket, a pair of black shorts and nike sneakers.

Allison tossed a peace sign at Will, who was on the ice as she walked around the ice with her brothers to the locker room that they were filming a video with Patrick Kane.

Allison shook her head as Jack and Patrick started chirping each other. Allison knew Quinn, Jack and Luke and herself are still shocked at times that they are on friendly terms with Patrick Kane who was all of their favorite player growing up.

“Hi Allie.” Patrick patted her shoulder once he as finished chirping Jack. Allison waved at him before taking one of the seats.

Luke took the seat next to her and Quinn took the other seat next to her making Jack give them a look before sitting down next to Luke as Patrick sat across from them.

Allison was fiddling with her bracelet as the media team was explaining the video.

“You go first.” Luke nodded at Patrick making Patrick grab the first card.

“What advice would you give today’s younger players that will help them fast forward their skills?” Patrick read first and glanced up at Luke as Quinn and Jack both looked Luke too.

“I don’t know why you’re looking at me.” Luke quickly rushed out making the boys laugh and Allison shake her head, “What was the question again? Sorry i was listening on the outside.”

Allison dropped her head laughing making Luke nudge her.

“Come on.” Jack teased before Quinn repeated the question for Luke.

“Probably just have fun and enjoy what your doing and i think you enjoy and love it and do it all the time.”

Allison and Jack shared a look before busting out laughing as Quinn grinning chuckling.

Luke trailed off talking as he started laughing, “I hate you guys.”

Allison mouthed to Jack, “It’s a business.” Jack immediately started laughing at the reminder of the words that never let Luke forget he said.

“It was a nice answer.” Jack told Luke once he stopped laughing.

“Yeah i mean it was and now it’s ruined so you go.” Luke said making Allison snicker at him as he looked at her.

“You can cut that off we are done.” Luke tossed his hands up.

“He didn’t do so bad.” Allison teased giving him a nudge, “I agree though. If you want to keep getting better you have to love what you’re doing.”

Patrick spoke after Allison and once he was done Quinn grabbed the next card.

“What training slash products helped.” Quinn started and Allison looked at Luke and they immediately started laughing as Quinn looked at Jack with a confused smile.

Luke laughed his head resting in Allison head for a second as her shoulder shook.

“Sorry.” Luke said through his laughs.

“You said slash.” Allison spoke laughing.

Quinn laughed and started saying the question again, “What training and products helped you reach your next level.”

“I guess it would have be easier if i said trainings slash products plus people.”

“My parents helped a lot growing up and then having you three help push me you know i was always doing the same thing you were doing.” Jack spoke up looking at his three siblings.

Allison blinked still surprised that Jack considered her someone who pushed him and helped him develop.

“Products is a tough one like for us we shot a lot of pucks in our basement and you know we were always down there working on our games so that easy thing for us.” Jack finished speaking as Allison slowly nodded along, she spent so much of her childhood in that basement in Toronto.

Once Quinn and Kane both said their answered Allison grabbed the next card, “What piece of equipment do you tinker with the least or most?”

“For me it’s definitely my elbow pads you know obviously it’s a tough piece if equipment because you want it tight and not sliding down but you don’t want it to tight to like impact your arms and the way your hands feel so it’s a little bit tricky but uh that’s definitely the one for me.” Kane went first.

Jack brought his head up to his hair, “Mine is definitely my helmet, i’m like constantly moving my helmet around.”

“All the time.” Allison shook her head she swears he moves his helmet more in one period than she does all game and she has way more hair than him.

“Partly because my hair is always growing as the season is on so when you have thick long thick hair. When you got that nice thick hair.”

Allison smiled a bit at Jack’s teasing as Patrick chirped right back, “Your twenty three bud be careful.” Allison snorted at his words.

Jack continued explaining and made a hand motion making Allison laugh, “Wait what does it do?” She teased.

Jack sighed pointing at her, “Shush.” He gave her a grin and finished explaining.

“That’s how i was with my mouth piece.” Patrick said after Jack was done.

“You wore a mouth piece.” Jack grinned teasing Patrick.

“I used to chew on it all the time.” Patrick spoke.

“Oh that’s what i do.” Luke said.

“I do it all the time.” Allison tends to do it in the bench the most but she does it very often.

“You chew on your mouth piece?” Patrick double checked with the two youngest Hughes getting for nods before he continued talking, “And then i went to Switzerland during the lock out and okay and i forget mouth piece and then i realized i was playing way better without one. Because i wasn’t chewing on it all the time.

“You loose any teeth?” Allison asked.

“Yeah i lost these two and half of this one.” Patrick answered as he pointing at the true, “But it’s worth it to not chew on it.”

“I don’t know if it is.” Jack said laughing a bit.

“There’s no way it’s worth.” Luke quickly shook his head.

“Nope. I already lost one i will not be loosing another one.” Allison grimaced a bit at the reminder with Quinn shaking his head no as well.

“You lost one? When?” Patrick asked curious.

“When i was young like my second season of actually being on a hockey team and i got my mouth guard the next day.” Allison explained she hated losing her tooth.

“Goose hated it, she came home with the most upset look and she was mad for days.” Jack said laughing a bit at the fond memory.

“It was my front tooth!” Alison protested making all four boys laugh a bit.

“I don’t know i tinker with the elbows pads too like it gets so wet at our rink at Roger’s like i have to put them on the dryer every period but then you don’t want it to tight because you want to feel pretty loose out there.” Quinn started taking up once they all stopped laughing.

“I tinker with my stick a lot, i use a new stick every game. Like sometimes when my grip tape gets sticky and on my glove i hate that so i’ll throw baby powder and then if that’s not working i’ll use different tape on the knob.” Quinn finished talking.

“For me it’s just like in between periods my gloves get super wet and i like hate when they are on the dryer but i also hate using two pairs of game so i’ll put them on for like a minute.” Luke explained.

Allison and Jack shared a look laughing, “He gets so frustrated some times too.” Luke nodded agreeing with her because he does.

“Do you uh use a lot of gloves through out the year?” Patrick asked the siblings.

Quinn spoke first, “I’ll use probably like two pairs.” Allison shook her head never understanding why he does that, “I don’t use a lot at all.”

“I go through one like every week and half.” Luke talked.

“I use a new pair every game.” Patrick stated making Quinn’s eyes widened.

“Yeah i couldn’t do that.” Quinn shook his head still fiddling with the cards on the table.

“I change my gloves every other game and then i have ones for practice that i usually keep for a week to two depending on the practices.” Allison told, she loves new gloves and she knew she was going to end up using a new pair every game but she wasn’t there yet.

“I like that.” Patrick grinned in approval, “Alright Allie your turn?”

“Uh..” Allison thought about it, “Probably my shoulder pads and my collarbone thing, i’m finicky with it sitting perfectly so i’m fixing it quite often.”

“Oh are you wearing a collarbone guard?” Patrick asked looking interested and nodded in approval for the smart idea, he knew she had broke her collarbone last year so the extra protection is never a bad idea.

Allison nodded in reply.

They went through a few more questions before Allison picked up another card, “Most memorable goal scored with a vapor stick? Let you take this one.” She gave a smirk to Patrick making him chuckle.

“I know what’s he going to say.” Patrick nodded at Jack who was already grinning.

“What am i going to say?” Jack asked laughing already.

“Overtime goal against Chicago.”

“When i zipped one right past your feet.” Jack said laughing.

Allison shook her head fondly whispering to Quinn, “Not good for his ego.” Allison teased as Jack was always getting teased about having an ego by his siblings. Quinn immediately laughed ducking his head.

“What’s another you have in the NHL?” Patrick asked after Jack talked about his overtime goal.

Jack nodded, “Playoffs goals are pretty big time i feel like. What about you?” Kane then started talking about a few memorable goals.

“What about you Lukey?” Kane asked Luke after.

“My first goal with Allie.” Luke answered easily. Playing with his sister was a dream come true.

“This year? No way.” Allison furrowed her eyebrows as their first goal on the Devils wasn’t very exciting.

“No i liked that one but our first goal ever at Juniors.” Luke answered.

Allison titled her head, “Game one? Where i scored earlier?” She had scored twice and Luke once all they scored together.

“Yeah that’s my favorite. Our first Hughes trick.” Luke just shrugged with a mischievous smirk.

Allison immediately groaned, “No one needs to know about that.”

Luke immediately laughed as Quinn and Jack shared a look.

“Wait wait what is a Hughes trick?” Jack immediately asked making Kane laugh at how confused Quinn and Jack both looked.

Luke just said in response, “We will tell you later.”

“Maybe.” Allison muttered, “Pick another one.”

Luke sighed, “The goal against Columbus that was nice.”

“Your coast to coast.” Jack injected.

“Your first goal!” Allison just looked baffled that Luke wasn’t saying what she thought was his best goal. Jack looked at her quickly nodded in agreement.

“Your four goals against Penn state.” Quinn spoke up.

“Goose is right your first goal, Wrap around OT.” Jack reminded Luke.

“Oh yeah i forget about it.” Luke laughed sheepishly.

“Who was more pumped up you or Jack?” Patrick asked.

“I was pretty fired.” Luke said honestly making Kane laugh.

“What about you Quinn?” Kane asked once they finished talking about Luke’s goal.

“I’ll go with first goal too.” Quinn started talking about his first goal, getting your first goal of our back and his goal drought.

“Alright and Allie yours?” Kane asked Allison.

“Four goals against Umich in the frozen four last year.” Allison gave Quinn and Luke a teasing smirk as she hasn’t let them forget those goals. The four goals were even more impressive because she had a ruptured appendix, “But my more memorable one was my first goal at BC and it was OT winner.” She smiled at the memory of that goal.

“Not your record breaking hat trick against the Rangers?” Jack raised an eyebrow at her.

“Or your second hat trick where you broke another record.” Quinn piped up.

“Our first all Hughes goal?” Luke gave her a look.

“And your gold medal OT winner at Worlds.” Patrick reminded her of her last goal.

“Any.” Allison just shrugged not really caring.

They talked about a few more things before wrapping up the video and Allison sighed in relief as the cameras turned off for a few minutes pulling out her phone to text her boyfriend.

She still had a lot left in her day.

bauer video

[thatssomegoodsoup]

SLENDERMAN x READER HCs

CREDIT FOR ART: @sketchy-doge1

Slenderman is a gentleman and will treat you with kindness and courtesy

^ He does get very jealous easily though

The proxies probably like you better lol

Your dates include hiking, sipping tea while reading a book in the slender mansion library, and gardening

He will teleport you anywhere you want to go (if he's not busy)

Since I HC that he can make his top proxies immortal and make them immune to slendersickness, I HC he did that to you as well

You tell people that you have a long distance boyfriend (with his height? yea its long distance LMAO). Easier than to say that than that you're dating a literal eldritch horror.

You both carved your initials into a tree

He thinks you look hot covered in blood

Slender thinks the reader looks pretty/handsome/beautiful in whatever they wear.

He gives love bites, like a cat (this HC has become an iconic part of my posts atp)

You get along with all of his brothers, (Splendor, Trender, and his sister Surrender), except for two.

He will teleport behind you to kiss, hug, or grab you with his tendrils unprompted.

Slender likes painting portraits of you

^ Especially you two together, as he can't be photographed

His love languages include quality time and giving gifts

Slender will often gift you handmade things and bouquets of wildflowers (also bones he found in the forest)

If any of the other pastas or one of his proxies hurt you, they will pay dearly

He makes sure your friends and family are unharmed

Slender can be controlling at times, but he tries his best not to be

You two like watching soap operas, old silent films, and dramas together (also those dramatic spanish telenovas that every character in most movies seem to watch)

His nicknames for you are primarily in old German

[julietcpulet]

Hello! Sorry to barge into your asks. From your account, it seems you get a significant amount almost every day? Lol! I can see why though. Your analyses are good reads and I have some of them saved up in my computer in case I meet an anti in the wild 🤣

Anyway, I want to know your opinion on something. Do you think the reason they downplayed Maomao's depression/the pinky scene in the anime is the same reason why they downplay Jinshi's numerous SA experiences as well? I don't mean this in a racist way, I swear, but do you think it has something to do with the majority of Asians, specifically East Asians, glossing over mental health and feelings? I'm not saying they don't treat it seriously but I think they don't exactly talk about it that much (unless they absolutely have to), as opposed to people in the West.

I'm not well versed in Japanese or anime troupes, but I think this is common in their mediums? Of course it seems unusual to me, but I can't find any other explanation for it unfortunately.

No barging here at all 😂 I love getting asks from people and makes me glad to know you’ve liked my posts enough to save them! As for the pinky scene, I think there’s two possible reasons why it was downplayed, of course only speculation on my part since we don’t actually know but here are my theories:

The shojo genre - Apothecary Diaries is a narrative with many mature themes and sometimes scenes that are hard to watch, not even from an inappropriate standpoint but merely because of the topics covered like underage marriage and political scheming turned violent. However, the anime itself is labeled as shojo and this demographic is targeted towards young girls which, while it can range from mid-teens to I believe young adults, say 20s or so, it’s still meant to be relatively mild in tone. As such any scenes depicting something like what Jinshi experienced where someone attempted to assault him when he was young might not be shown, as it would be difficult to make something like that palatable or come across with the seriousness it needed to while not being frightening to a younger female audience. So instead it is easier to make gags out of women or even men being creepy towards him in a lighthearted way vs showing the reality of some of those interactions.

More than one woman had sneaked into his bedchamber, after all. He’d found himself pressed to their generous chests, moist red lips coming toward him. He’d been nauseated by the overpowering smell of incense. He remembered the guards dragging those people away by the hair as they screeched. He’d tried to ignore them, but he felt he knew womankind through and through.

The same goes for Maomao’s pinky moment. Where it appears in the light novel like it’s meant to have a decidedly darker feeling behind her actions, that depiction of self-harm being subconsciously intentional vs played as a quirky gag for laughs would probably not work in the shojo genre.

"She'd made several new wounds on her left arm to test some of them out, but she just couldn't quite get the outcome she wanted. She'd even tried rubbing some of her concoction onto the wound on her ear (why let it go to waste, after all?), but it didn't tell her much. After all these years, she seemed to have developed a pretty high tolerance for pain."

In a time where people are so sensitive to trigger warnings before shows and anything that hints at a character hurting themselves, I think they intentionally steer away from that direction because they don’t want to have to censor anything due to sensibilities, especially on a Western side. Even if that moment can be helpful to a character’s development, I get playing it off because audiences today can struggle to get the subtleties underlying the scene (like the frog moment) and so be incensed when in reality the complexities of it are what make the moment good in the first place. So instead better to make it a gag and keep to the targeted age range.

Misunderstanding the meaning - While I give the animators a lot of credit for capturing the depth of the characters while not being able to include all of Maomao’s internal dialogue and feelings, I wonder if sometimes there are scenes where they didn’t quite get the significance behind it. The whole pinky moment has impact because it relates back to Maomao’s mother and how she had severed her own finger and Maomao’s due to her emotional pain and despondency. So, for Maomao to do the same shows a parallel between them in that moment when she’s separated from what she’s known at the rear palace and distinctly, Jinshi.

"Got to cut deeper if I want to be sure. Maomao looked at her left hand, then tied some string firmly around her pinky. She stood and took a small knife from a cabinet. Here goes!"

It’s the cut off emotionally from relationships that bring her comfort to the cutting off literally of her finger that’s meant to draw us into understanding Maomao’s state at the time. How she’s numb, detached and isolated until Jinshi walks back into her life, getting her to immediately come back to herself and interact with him.

"Just as she was about to bring the knife down, a beautiful voice interrupted her: "What are you doing?" - "Done with all your work?" Maomao asked, undoing the string around her finger and putting the knife back in the cabinet."

Placing the moment solely in the realm of Maomao experimenting because she’s got a quirky affinity for medicine vs. her experimenting due to deep emotional pain to me says they either felt uncomfortable drawing the connection with her mother or may have not made that link at all, so funny was the safer route.

As for Jinshi, the significance of showing times where he was dragged into the bushes or had strange people attempt to hurt him would give greater depth to the idea that he’s not just a pretty face who uses his looks to charm people, or that he himself is predatory towards others, especially Maomao. Because if we understand how much predation he’s been subjected to due to his own looks and his disgust towards it, that allows the audience to see how he feels a true distaste for the way people see and act towards him even more than we already do.

"Gaoshun had looked away for an instant, and Jinshi had found himself dragged into the underbrush. - The man had wanted to make Jinshi his toy. Jinshi wasn't sure how it had started, but it had been clear he was in danger."

In this way I don’t know if the animators simply felt that they could convey Jinshi’s backstory adequately without these parts of his past or if they didn’t understand these kinds of moments add to the layers of his character and without them people may only believe the surface without having read the novels. Again, I understand why they maybe couldn’t have included them given the worry of potentially conveying something too dark in how they chose to animate it and genre restrictions. However, I also wonder if maybe they avoided it because they don’t feel it’s significant due to him being a male character and wanting to play up his “nymph-like” side for laughs vs getting the audience to understand how much of that Jinshi dislikes.

Overall I don’t think this is an Asian culture vs Western culture thing in relation to denying mental health or feelings. While the West tends to focus more on emotion, letting feelings be the driving force, sometimes to our detriment, Asian culture does less so and puts emphasis on rational thought and taking action which isn’t always a bad thing.

Often I’ve found the Western proclivity to over-emphasize the importance of feelings can lead to people not considering decisions and “going with their heart” which is likely to lead them astray if people don’t weigh consequences of their actions. On the Asian side people can be hyper-rational and only make decisions almost without emotion, leading to dysfunction based on not seeming like they’ve met any needs or wants but just practical necessities. In this way it’s best to find a balance of both, where feelings matter and have some say but are not the final determining factor in decisions or how a person behaves.

How this relates to anime culture and Apothecary Diaries is that I actually find anime in general a refreshing break from the Western ethic of “navel gazing” or focusing too much on the self and personal feelings. Much of Japanese anime appears to contrast this and promote focus on and selflessness towards others, taking action to protect and be there for other people even at the cost of something for yourself.

Hope this answers your questions, that was an interesting one to dive into thinking about the cultures. Thanks for the ask!

[joelmillerswife9]

Hi, I’m the one who asked about requests.

I was wondering if you could write something with Javier Pena & he’s been trying to get close to a work colleague but she brushes him off cause she was SAed as a teen and she likes Javi but she knows his reputation with sex and doesn’t think she can give him that. But he’s all sweet and understanding and maybe some kisses?

You can do the smut too of their first time together but only if it’s not too much trouble. 🙇‍♀️ 🙇‍♀️ 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️ or make a part 2 if it’s too long? Whatever is easier for you and I know whatever you make will be amazing 💕

Thank you!!!

Hello, Anon. I truly hope you enjoy this story, as well as everyone else! Readers, PLEASE read warnings before reading. Story is written in both Javi and the reader's POV. Let me know if anyone would like a part 2!

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT! Reader talks about past of SA. Javi is gentle with reader. Story is a little sad. Soft kisses to reader's forehead. Smoking, drinking, Steve being funny.

Nada Va A Lastimarte, Nena 

Javi’s POV

Taking another drag of his cigarette, Javi preys like a hawk as he watches you from across the bar mingling with the other female agents. A hundred people laughing, talking, salsa dancing in this little hole in the wall cantina, but his dark eyes are only focused on you. He knows everything and nothing about you all at once. Only working together for two years, the information he’s able to uncover is that you’re originally from the Midwest and you don’t drink, which working as a DEA is very impressive. He doesn’t know what college you went to, what you like to do for fun, or even what your favorite color is. But he knows how your hips sway majestically when you walk. He knows the dimples that curve along your face when you strike that gorgeous smile that sends him into a craze. He knows every freckle that aligns along the bridge of your nose and travels around your ocean blue eyes. Not only were your looks striking, but you always seemed to be on your toes, even during moments like this where it was okay to let loose. You smiled on cue, you always remained alert, and you didn’t need anyone taking care of you. Truly, a Miss. Independent. 

Although you were always polite, there seemed to be a forcefield around you. Anytime Javi took two steps towards you, you took six jumps back. Anytime he asked you on a harmless dinner date there was always an excuse; “It’s been a long day”, “I really need to get a head start on those files”, “Not tonight, but maybe next time”. There never was a next time. This was very unusual for Javi. He didn’t want to brag, but he was quite the ladies man. With his handsome features and cheeky sense of humor, women would be eating out of the palm of his hand. Just walking into the bar, every woman’s head turned in hopes that he would buy them a drink that would eventually turn into a steamy one night stand. But there was something different about you, it was never like that. At first, he figured you were just playing hard to get, but this was beyond a measly challenge. This was out of protection…

You POV:

“God, please don’t look at me like that” you begged curving your lips around the glass bottle of cherry coke. It was Steve’s birthday that had everyone show up tonight, but in your eyes Javi was the man of the hour. There was no denying the vigorous aura that was Javier Pena; he was smart, ruthless, charismatic, and devastatingly sexy. Those big brown eyes and plump lips drew women in like a magnet; yourself included. What you adored most about him was his protector persona. He always looked out for the safety of his team and didn’t think twice about putting himself at risk to keep others safe. Nothing bad would happen while he was around. You did everything in your power to keep yourself at a safe distance towards Javi tonight. You inserted yourself in a circle of gossiping between the female agents, some you didn’t even know their names. You just needed to look busy for him. You would fake a laugh and smile every couple of minutes to look engaged, but every minute that passed you’d sneak a glance at him. He would be right where he was a minute ago; watching you. A hundred beautiful vibrant latinas flood the bar and he’s looking at you. 

You’d be lying if you said Javi doesn’t cross your mind every once in a while. It’s hard not to think about him when he’s the main topic of gossip between all the female agents. You’d overhear the wild sexual encounters the ladies would share in the breakroom or along the walls of the cubicles. In a way, you feel proud to be the only agent he hasn’t slept with, but there was a sense of envy that creeped up like a sneak attack from behind. What you’d give to feel his mouth drive along your bare skin or to feel his gentle digits caress your face and trail down to the curves of your tummy. You did like Javi, you couldn't deny that anymore. You want to let him in but you can't, you won’t allow yourself to. Not after what you’ve gone through, he wouldn’t be able to handle it and nor could you. 

Becoming overwhelmed by your intrusive thoughts, you take one last sip of your soda “Ladies, I think I’m calling it a night”

“Ohhh come on, chica! Just 10 more minutes!” An agent named Claudia exclaims. Others chime in. 

You chuckle, “No, no. It’s been a long day and I should get some rest. But I’ll see y’all tomorrow. Be good now!” 

You wave good- bye and head out into the warm Colombian breeze taking in a deep breath of fresh air. 

Javi POV:

Chasing down his second glass of whiskey, a brute thud hits his arm. He turns to see a very inebriated Steve modeling a big pink flower tucked behind his ear; God knows where that came from. 

“Ya havin’ fun, senorita?” Javi jokes. 

Steve laughs and throws his arm around him, “That hot redhead at the end of the bar has been eye fuckin’ you all night, Pena. Are ya gonna go over there or keep the lovely lady waiting?” 

Please, he would’ve taken her home two hours ago if he wanted to. But, there was something more valuable that he desired, you. Javi laughed and smacked Steve’s hand away, “Maybe another night.”

Sporting a look of bewilderment, Steve questions, “You?! Turning down a chance to get laid?! Are you feeling okay?” 

Javi turns to where you were standing and his heart skips a beat when he sees you’re not there. Calm but quick, he tells Steve maybe another night. He says his goodbyes and scurries out of the cantina. Looking to his left and then his right, he sees you walking along the sidewalk. Your heels clack on the pavement while the bright streetlights shine down on your angelic presence. Your hips sway side to side in your rose pink dress complimenting every inch of your curves. For a minute, he watches you glide down the street as if you were floating on a cloud. He figures offering you a ride home wouldn’t be crossing boundaries…

You POV:

The echo of your name sings out into the starry sky. Turning around to follow the familiar voice, you see Javi standing under a dim streetlight. 

 “Wait up!” he hollers while jogging towards you. Your breath hitches at the sweat sparkling along his broad chest that peaks perfectly through his fitted white shirt. His dark locks bop in the wind as his footsteps hit the hard concrete. Slowly strutting towards him, you meet in the center of the bustling street. You murmur a soft hello; a smile hides behind Javi’s mustache when he returns a greeting. Briefly talking about the outing, Javi asks, “Would you be opposed to letting me drive you home?” 

Caught off guard by his kind favor, you feel the force field around you start to lose its power and that cannot happen. “Ohh, umm I- I’m fine, thank you Javi. I could use the fresh air”

Before making your way back up the street, Javi’s gentle touch brushes along the fabric of your white cardigan. Reaching for your forearm, Javi’s sweet eyes create a warm comfort in your tummy, “Please carino, I will sleep better knowing that you made it home safe. Really, I insists”

Taking a breath like you’d been underwater for hours, you accept his offer. Nodding your head, his arm sneaks around your back bringing you closer to his side. He opens the passenger door of his pickup truck and you slide into the front seat. The smoky stench of cigarettes gets caught in your throat making you cough. Javi maneuvers himself next to you and starts driving. The car ride is quiet, only the smooth sound of radio static. Sitting back in the leather seat, you start creating scenarios in your head while gazing out the window. You think about how life would be a dream if you could forget about your past for just a millisecond. How you would enjoy life to the fullest, but nothing could erase the memories that corrode your mind. Years of money spent on therapy, the pain stays like an old friend.

 Hands folded into your lap like you’re praying, Javi reaches into the glove compartment, “Scuse me”. Quickly whipping your knee out of the way, Javi grabs a pack of cigarettes from the small cubby. The cancer stick hangs loosely along his lip while he fiddles for a lighter. 

“Do you mind if I smoke?” He says looking over at you. 

Your hand waves up, “It’s your car. Knock yourself out” 

The flame glows around his face as the tobacco burns from the heat. Snapping the lighter, he continues driving. Through clench teeth Javi converses, “Ya know, you’re probably the only agent I’ve worked with who doesn’t smoke or drink. How do you take the edge off? I’m interested” 

You laugh at his comment, “Well, I like going on walks. Cooking is a big stress reliever for me too…Reading on my balcony is relaxing. I feel like I’m boring you”

He scoffs taking another puff, “Hey what doesn’t kill you makes your stronger”

You hum as your head lays against the fogged up window. After a couple more turns, Javi parks in front of your apartment. Opening the doors in unison, Javi walks you upstairs. 

Javi POV: 

Sweat trickles from his brow; unsure if it’s from the heat or your presence. His mind plays sad tricks going back and forth on whether to kiss you good night. Standing in front of the door, you look up from the dirty cracked hardwood. You thank him for the ride and he inches a little closer to you. Your feet scuttle back, your digits gripping your purse. 

He mumbles your name and places his hands into his pocket, “Whatever I did… I’m sorry” 

Your eyes slant out of confusion, “For what?”

His hand wipes the corner of his mouth, “It’s just, I feel like whenever I’m around you, you seem tense and the last thing I want to do is make you feel uneasy. I would like to know you more and if I did something, or said something to make you upset I’m truly sorry” 

At first, you didn’t respond, but eventually Javi could see your pupils start to dilate as tears well from your eyelids. Short breaths made your chest slowly start to heave and your lips parted as if you were about to speak. But instead, your hands covered your face as you let out a guttural weep. Javi didn’t know what to do, if he should hold you or even place his hand on your shoulder; instead he grabbed your key and opened the door. Guiding you inside he sits you on the couch and walks to the kitchen. He grabs a cup from the pantry and fills it with water. 

You POV: 

Years of torment releases from your chest with every cry. It’s a relief but now you are left with no choice but to confess your secret that’s been bottled up since you were eighteen. Javi sits next to you with a glass of water. 

“Here honey. Just breathe. I’m sorry if I…”

Voice shaking you interrupt, “It-it’s not you Javi. It was never you. It’s…me” 

He takes the cup and tries to wrap your hands around it. You bring the glass to your lips and take a small sip trying not to choke. “You’ve always been nice and I appreciate it…but I just can’t” you start crying again. 

Javi sits in silence and then removes a lock of hair from your face, “Dear, I want you to know I do like you, and I would never want to make you feel opposed to doing anything, ever. But, I’m here for you always”

His comforting words steady your heartbeat. He is allowing you to finally break free from the pain and it’s up to you to accept his helping hand.

He keeps his distance when he asks, “Did… something happen recently?” 

You nod your head no, “It… was a long time ago. Before college”

He doesn’t say a word, just nods his head as a form of acknowledgment. 

“It was the last high school bash before graduation…” Just the words flowing off your lips brings back the memories of cheap beer, loud music and laughter. 

You confessed to Javi how during the party, one of your classmates who you thought was a friend had taken advantage of you. You admitted that you shared a couple of beers together, but the fun and games ceased when he followed you into the bathroom. Tears started to flow more intensely as you continued. 

Javi POV:

Javi didn’t make a sound. He didn’t express surprise or disgust. He just sat with you listening to your story. He stayed content on the outside, though his temper was raging on the inside like a ferocious beast. 

“Damn him. Damn that bastardo” he thought to himself. 

He wanted to ask for his name, but you had gone through enough. It would be unfair for you to make you relive a tragedy that you’ve kept bottled up for years. Guzzling the cup of water, you wipe away the residue of mascara formed around your puffy eyes. Like connecting the pieces of a puzzle together, everything made sense to Javi. You didn’t drink because of your past. You always stayed alert and didn’t allow yourself to let your guard down in fear of something happening again. Your will to trust was broken. He didn’t know what to say, feeling that “sorry” was not good enough. 

He mumbles your name, “Ca-can I just hold…”

You don’t let him finish his thought when you leap into his arms. Your grip around his torso almost takes his breath away. Adjusting his body, Javi’s arm snakes around your back while the other gets lost in your curls. His chin rests on the top of your head. He stays silent while you weep in his embrace. A tear falls from his eyelids at your desperation for comfort. His mouth plants a soft kiss on your forehead and he holds you close. 

“I’m here, carino” he whispers.

YOU POV: 

For the first time in years, you feel safe. This is what you’ve always needed right here at this moment, to be the object of care. Javi didn’t tell you what you should do or how to feel, he just needed to show you that he was there. His arms gently caressed your back as he pulled you closer; the scent of cologne and cigarettes is oddly comforting. Minutes go by and he still holds you tight against his chest. 

“Javi” you pick your head up to gaze into his delicate brown eyes. A soft smirk curves along his mustache; his thumb brushes a tear away. 

“It’s not your fault. I promise nothing like that will ever happen again to you. I hope that fucker gets everything he deserves for robbing you of your innocence” 

You smile at his words and place your hands over his, “Could you stay with me tonight?”

“Of course” he places one more kiss on your forehead before you guide him to your bedroom. 

He raids around the small space, gliding his hand along the smooth surface of your dresser. As you start removing the cardigan, Javi turns to the balcony view allowing you some privacy. He hears the zipper maneuver down the fabric of your dress and swallows hard. He doesn’t dare turn his head around, even for a quick peek. You tell him you’re going to take a quick shower and he nods his head stepping out onto the balcony. He smokes a cigarette while he waits for you. He starts unbuttoning his shirt and overlooks the mountainous view. He flicks the finished cigarette and walks back into your room. 

You’ve changed into an oversized t-shirt and gently brush the knots out of your hair. Your breath hitches at the reflection of Javi shirtless fiddling with his belt buckle. Left in only his boxer briefs, you try not to look for too long. Pulling the covers along with the sheets, you both climb into bed. You lay facing each other intertwining your digits. Fingers tickling each other’s skin, you ask if he’s good at spooning. He giggles and tells you to turn around. You fold your body into a fetal position while Javi wraps around you. His arm curves around your torso, his head rests close to your cheek. 

Your hands holds onto his and you whisper, “Thank you, Javi” 

Before you both close your weary eyes, Javi kisses the curve of your earlobe, “Nada va a lastimarte, nena” (Nothing’s gonna hurt you, baby) 

❤️❤️

@baronessvonglitter @jazzy11scorpio @pascalispunkczechia

[fromiftowhen]

Hey! Do you have any headcanons on interactions between Abbot and Mel? Nothing romantic but I kinda see them as fatherly/daughter ish or Mentor/Mentee and I’ve noticed it’s rare seeing stuff about these two 🤷‍♀️

Thanks for the question anon! Headcanon questions like this (and fun anon asks in general) are one of my favorite parts of fandom, so please never hesitate to ask whatever!

I had a lot of fun actually writing some (very tiny, more references than anything else) Mel and Abbot interaction in the whole world is sleeping and I think they could have a really interesting dynamic.

Some headcanons (not romantic, because I don't see it that way either) —

At first, Mel is intimidated by Abbot, which I think is kinda the norm for new people in the ED. She goes to whatever senior resident is available before bugging him, but then he's the only attending available when a complicated procedure has to be done immediately and he talks her through it in a way that really clicks for her, doesn't make her nervous or feel like she should already know the procedure or whatever. Just explains it matter of factly and in kind of a funny way that she actually immediately gets.

They talk about his military service a little, once they get to know each other more. He's reserved about it, but not unwilling to talk about it. She tells him her dad was in the military and they moved a lot when she and Becca were young. She tells him the constant moving contributed heavily to her parent's divorce, because the unpredictability was just too tough for Becca, and it was the final straw for her mom (amongst a lot of other stuff that Mel wouldn't realize until she was older.) Abbot tells her about his first save as a medic, when a case hits kind of close to it, and a few months later, he tells her about his worst loss as a medic, and she cries but he doesn't.

She likes that he occasionally writes letters to patients families. He doesn't do it often, but when something really tugs at him. She has a rough case, a bad loss, late on night shift, and he silently hands her a pen and a piece of paper he steals from a nearby printer. She writes two letters - one for the family of the patient, and one for herself, because sometimes it's easier to work through her thoughts on paper. She lets Abbot read both, even though she knows he'd never ask.

He buys her a candy bar from the vending machine when she's dragging one night, just plops it down in front of her while she's staring at a patient chart. Nods his head as she tells him thank you as he's already walking away. (It's a Nestle Crunch bar, which feels like an old man choice, and kinda reminds her of her dad, and it's delicious.)

He writes her a letter of recommendation for a peds ED fellowship, which she didn't ask for and didn't really even realize he already knew about. (He tends to know all the gossip before most anyone else, which is a skill Mel envies but doesn't really want to learn.) He tapes it to her locker at the end of their shift, his tidy handwriting on a post-it on the envelope, but no signature. "You're a good doctor, King. You're excellent with kids. Job's yours for the taking if I have any say in it."

He's the third person she tells when she gets the fellowship (after Becca and Frank) and he grins and asks if he can hug her, and when she nods, he whispers, "you're gonna kick ass, kid," and she carries the feeling all throughout her shift.

[elijah-terry]

DID is a covert disorder. It is not meant to be obvious. It arises from complex trauma, so people with DID are also already incredibly likely to diminish and invalidate their own experiences and feelings.

The dissociative barriers that are the main symptom of DID make it really difficult to remember things - mundane things, trauma, things about yourself, etc.

It's meant to help you cope and survive the trauma. If it was obvious or easy to tell, it wouldn't help the abused kid at all.

Everyone I have ever known with DID went through a long period of doubt and denial. I know so many people who, like me, discovered and forgot and then discovered and forgot. It's not meant to be obvious. It's not meant to be noticeable.

Recovery can change that for some people with DID, but it's a covert disorder for a reason. People think you would know if you have it, which is a crazy thing to think about if you know anything about the disorder at all.

You're not meant to know. Remember that the majority of cases in psychology are people who were diagnosed as adults. People online with access to a community and resources may have an easier time and find out earlier, which honestly in my opinion is also worse. Young adults, teens, preteens discovering their system that young is often really dangerous. The disorder is a coping mechanism and survival tactic.

You're not really supposed to know you have it.

If anyone's reading this and needs to hear this:

people who are faking tend to know they're faking. faking is a choice. maybe you're not experiencing a dissociative disorder, maybe you are. but your symptoms are real.

i need to soapbox about DID more, because its kinda like being trans, you'd think that you'd notice if you had it but that's just cultural osmosis giving a skewed impression, statistically you probably wouldn't. statistically you need to do rigorous work to notice.

[anti-heroesanonymous]

Beginning of Relationship HC

Pairing: Benjamin "Dex" Poindexter x GN!reader Content: Fluff!!, probably ooc a/n: Ugh, I lost the message when my computer crashed, but a very sweet person asked for headcanons about what Dex would be like at the beginning of a relationship. I feel so bad, but here you go!! Hopefully they see it, lol. Anyway, this is my first time writing headcanons, kinda nervous. But it was a lot of fun, would do again. Also, formatting is insane. Enjoy :P Masterlist

━ ◎ ━

I like to imagine you and Dex would meet at some point during his daily routine.

You’d cross paths at the cafe he stops at on Fridays before work.

Like you’re in line before him and forget your wallet at the register. 

Since his whole thing is trying to be a good person, he’d return it to you while you’re waiting for your order.

I think you’d have to be the one to start a conversation.

He didn’t initially intend for the interaction to go anywhere. 

You’d end up exchanging numbers, under the guise of you owing him dinner (his choice!)

He kind of forgets about it until a week later when you text him and ask him his favorite restaurant and to name a time and place. 

Most of that dinner is spent talking about yourselves, likes and dislikes and work-related things (mostly from you, I feel like he’d be kind of cagey about the FBI). 

You two hit it off, and he’s actually the one to suggest you meet up again.

That leads to you getting food together at least once a week. 

He unintentionally incorporates it into his routine and looks forward to your talks.

Again, you’d have to be the one to ask about trying dating. I don’t think he’d want to risk ruining what routine you guys already have by changing the nature of it.

He’s almost relieved when you ask.

And BOOM, you’re dating now.

Btw, I don’t think there’s a scenario where he’d date his North Star. 

The idea of a North Star is an idealized version of a person that he wants to be.

The relationship would fall apart the second his North Star did something to break that illusion. 

With all the spiraling that would cause, the relationship would probably last a week at most, lol.

Not much changes after you two make it official. You guys just meet up more and text/call more.

And I mean nothing changes.

It doesn’t even occur to the two of you that displays of affection are allowed for the first few weeks, lol.

Like Dex would walk you home, and at most you’d hold hands, but even that’s rare.

I think it would click with you one day after closing your door, like ‘wait a second…’

And then you run back out to catch him before he’s too far away and give him a kiss.

It doesn’t open the floodgates, or anything, but it reminds you two that you can do that kind of thing now.

Dex likes to kiss your forehead. Idk I just feel it in my soul.

I think Dex would be the driest texter ever.

He means well, but holy shit, it’s kind of painful.

This man has never used an emoji in his life. 

Chronic single-word replier

You’ll be telling him a long winded story, and he’ll just reply with ‘sorry’

But don’t worry! The next time he sees you in person or calls you over the phone, he’ll comfort you or be angry/upset on your behalf because he read the whole thing.

He’d also let you rant and rave about it in person/over the phone if it makes you feel better.

He does like it when you use stickers as emojis, though. They’re more expressive, and the feeling they’re supposed to convey is easier to decipher.

Ouuu, museum dates. 

I think his favorite would be the Met. 

I headcanon him to be one of those people who will sit and sketch the exhibits. It’s soothing to him.

I also think he’d love day trips to Washington, D.C. for the Smithsonians. 

LOVES THE CAPTAIN AMERICA EXHIBIT!!! I don’t care, this is canon!

Captain America is as good as it gets in that world, so Dex has idolized him since he was a little boy.

My goofy ass, unrelated headcanon that Phillip Coulson once tried to buy a pack of limited edition Captain America trading cards off of him on a trading site in 2010, but Dex wouldn’t budge.

He kept one close to his chest while he was in the military, like it was a picture of his lover back home, so it’s special to him.

He lowkey mansplains the exhibit to you, but it’s genuinely so cute how excited he is, so you don’t mind.

He’d also be down to go to any exhibit you wanted to.

I think he’d just like hearing you talk about things you like in general, tbh. Like his own personal podcast.

In fact, when he gets overwhelmed or stressed, he’ll sometimes call you and get you talking about something you’re really into. It calms him down a little bit.

Definitely told Ray about you within the first month of you two dating. 

It’d be in passing, like ‘can’t stay too long, I’ve got dinner plans’ (with you)

Ray would tell Seema, and I think she’d get Ray to invite you and Dex over for dinner. 

Idk how the FBI works in terms of days off, but I think Dex would bring you lunch on his hypothetical days off.

Like you’re doing whatever it is you do, and your coworker comes up to tell you a guy is looking for you.

You’re like ‘???,’ but go out anyway and there he is, standing with a takeout bag from your favorite place.

He’d leave you a little note or doodle something to make you smile.

Even better if he made the food himself. 

I headcanon him to be a good cook because he has a stupid amount of knives for someone who doesn’t cook well.

On the topic of him cooking, he’d definitely invite you over to make dinner for you.

He’d have you sit in one of those chairs at his bar counter to keep him company, like your very own cooking channel show.

He’d ask you about your day and let you taste test the sauce. 

I think it would be a while before you guys spent the night together.

Not for any crazy reasons, but realistically, I think your waking and sleeping schedules would be super misaligned, especially if you work a traditional job. 

He’s kind of nervous the first time. Y’all probably fall asleep kind of far away from each other, but gravitate towards each other throughout the night. 

It’s like that for the first few times, but finally you guys just intentionally cuddle lol.

He holds you like you’re going to run away. 

I think he’s a weighted blanket fiend (coming from someone who stacks two)

Sleeping in the same bed as him feels like you’re taking 9 Gs sometimes because he’s got you wrapped up in a suffocating hug and a weighted blanket + duvet over you two. 

You’ve woken up sweaty many times before, which is probably an insane feeling because he sleeps shirtless.

So if you also sleep shirtless, you two are slippery, and if you sleep with a shirt, it sticks to his chest and to you.

His solution is to turn the AC on full blast, so his apartment feels like the arctic past 10pm.

He will let you go if you need to get up, but even in his sleep, the second the mattress dips again, he’s pulling you back against him. 

Not one to watch tv shows, but I think you two would have one designated show that you have to watch together. 

Does like watching movies with you, though.

He hates going to the movie theater, but is down to curl up with you on the couch to watch whatever has caught your eye.

I don’t think he had a tv in his apartment on the show, so it’s always at your place. 

He has a framed picture of you two on the wall next to his front door. 

It’s one from a day trip to Washington, DC. You’re in front of the Smithsonian Castle, bundled up in winter coats and beanies. A passerby offered to take it for you.

He also has one on his bedside table.

It’s a candid of you absolutely demolishing a croissant at a bakery on one of your first official dates. 

You didn’t even see him take it, but he refuses to get rid of it. 

It’s his favorite.

I don’t think he’d use pet names very often. He probably uses the occasional ‘babe,’  but he prefers your name. 

You did go through a phase where you’d refer to him with increasingly weird and specific pet names until he started ignoring you until you called him ‘Dex’ again.

Although if you sound upset that he isn’t playing along, he’ll feel bad and answer immediately.

Sometimes, you’ll call him Ben or Benjamin, but you default to Dex because that’s how he introduced himself. 

Sometimes stares at you when you’re talking or doing things.

Not crazy like or anything, just in awe.

Like, you could be doing your laundry, and he’s just entranced.

Speaking of laundry, when you first started dating, he was really peculiar about not leaving stuff at your place.

It wasn’t even intentional. He’s just really meticulous.

And I like to think that after the first time he lent you clothes when you stayed over at his place, he was like ‘wait, I can get behind this!’

So, Dex being Dex, he just straight up picks out some shirts from his closet, folds them, and then presents them to you the next time he comes over to your place.

You take them, and the next time you invite him for a movie night or spend the night, you wear one.

I could go on and on, but you get the gist.

━ ◎ ━

[smilesrobotlover]

Oh yeah, I’ve been meaning to ask Smiles, what’s your like, process with doing comics? Like where do you start? Dialogue? Or loose outlines of panels, or something?

Someone has probably asked this before but I don’t remember heh 😅

-Sky Floor

I don’t think anyone’s asked me this! This is for long term comics. Short term comics I just think of it and go ham with it lol.

But for long term I start with a script:

As you can see, I change the dialogue a lot and move things around as I work on the comic, but as long as the vibes are there that’s all I really care about. I try to make things clear for myself so I know what I’m going for in the moment.

Then I thumbnail after finishing writing and editing:

Idk how other people do thumbnails but I draw the comic and then try to find good placements for dialogue, characters, and panels. I also write the script to the side so that I know where the dialogue goes (and once again, this changes sometimes but as long as the vibes are there that’s all that matters to me). Since it’s not a serious thing, I try to give the characters distinguishing features that don’t take up a lotta time (Wars’s scarf, Wild’s sideburns, Twi’s markings, sometimes their hair). I also write notes on what I’m going for if it’s not clear enough in the thumbnail, which is silly but it works for me 😅 as long as it’s clear to me that’s all that matters :) For short term projects I don’t care that much about doing thumbnails, but with long terms I want to make sure the pacing is good and things are clear since I’m taking it a bit more seriously. This doesn’t super work well I feel but it’s something I can lean back on when I draw the actual comic itself. Sometimes having to do everything in the moment makes things stressful

And then I work on the comic! I sketch it out, draw the panels and write the dialogue, and then I do a second sketch of the characters and move them all around to fit the dialogue. That way things don’t get too crowded or anything, which I’m still trying to improve! Then I line, color, and shade and voila, a comic page!

Like I said, things get switched around as I try to make things better, like switching Twi and Wild’s placement in panel 5 and adding another panel at the bottom. It just makes things a bit easier to read, and this happens a LOT. My thumbnails are drastically different than my comics 😅 which might get rid of the point of thumbnails but I guess they’re more like rough drafts of what I’m going for? But yeah! I also have colors I use as reference for the backgrounds and other things

Chapter 3 was a LONG chapter so there’s do many colors here, but I try to add all the colors I use on here just so I can reference back to them. It makes me life so much easier, tho this page got slightly confusing haha. That’s why some things are labeled. I also made sure to get the percentages right to make everything fit. I use refs for all the Links, and their items. Like swords, sheaths, and the Sheikah slate! Having all the refs out def crowds things up for me tho but it’s so much better than whatever I was doing before with all my other comics!

Not a fancy answer but this is basically how I do it and it works for me :) I find there’s a lot of ways to do things, but the most important thing in comics is to make sure things are CLEAR. It’s heavily dependent on visuals obviously, so thumbnails do help with making sure things are clear. This is something I’m still trying to learn and something I’m teaching myself, but yeah! That’s what I got :D

[aiceofspades]

birthday girl | dean winchester x f!reader

headers: @strangergraphics-archive

pairings: sam + dean x f!reader (not established)

genre: fluff yippee!!

overview: you don't particularly enjoy your birthday, so will sam and dean make a huge effort or respect your wishes?

word count: 3.4k

author's note: i meant to upload this ages ago but pls enjoy this!! i was gonna put the car as a '67 ford mustang but then i left it vague so you guys can put your own cars in instead <{•_•}>

masterlist here!!

it was your birthday tomorrow, and you couldn't be sadder. you'd always hated your birthday for multiple reasons: you didn't like being the centre of attention, you didn't want to grow up, and you hated the fact that people would remind you of how many days it was until the 'big day'. you hated it, to be clear.

you hadn't told sam or dean when your birthday was. not that you'd avoided it—they'd just never mentioned it. most people found you strange for hating it, anyway, so you didn't want them thinking you were weird.

so when you became increasingly sadder as the night before your birthday went on, they noticed. at 9 pm, you were curled up on a sofa in the library trying to read a book, but you kept staring into space and thinking about tomorrow and how it was looming in the distance.

"you okay?" sam asked, looking at you from where he was sat at a table. dean was somewhere else, probably tending to Baby.

"yeah, i'm fine."

he paused, frowning. "no, you have that look that says something's wrong. what is it?"

you sighed. you knew he'd respect your feelings about your birthday but you just didn't want to say the words. you supposed it was avoidance anxiety, as you had a tendency to avoid things if it was easier than doing it.

"you can tell me anything, you know," he said.

"well, um, it's just it's my birthday tomorrow," you quickly said.

there was silence, and then, "your birthday? why on earth didn't you tell us?!" he stood up from his seat and came and sat in front of you.

"well, because i knew you'd react like this. i don't like birthdays. i mean, i like other people's, just not mine."

"oh, that's okay, i understand, but you should have told us. we don't even have time to set up any celebrations or anything," he said, gesturing wildly.

"sam," you said, placing a hand on his arm to calm him down. "i don't want any celebrations, it's okay."

"yes, but a birthday is momentous! we should celebrate one more year of your awesome life!"

"i wouldn't call it awesome. listen, sam, i appreciate your concern, but i don't want anything. i'd rather just have you guys and be living here with you than have celebrations. i don't need anything big."

he sighs, calming down. "have you told dean?"

you shake your head. "i don't know, i feel like he'd try and make some worldwide announcement if he knew. i don't need anyone to do anything, i just want it to be another simple day."

"that's okay, but you have to tell dean. if he finds out you didn't tell him, he'll be grumpy."

"yeah, okay, i know he's got the heart of an 80-year-old. i'll do it now."

you found dean in the kitchen, sipping a beer whilst reading a newspaper at the table.

"hey grandpa," you joked.

"what?" he frowned, looking up.

"the newspaper? that's, like, what grandpas do."

he tilts his head, thinking about it. "yeah, i suppose. are you okay? do you need something?"

you take a seat next to him, facing him. "um..." your weak point was always opening up to people or telling them something. "it's, uh, it's my birthday tomorrow."

he blinks. "really?" you nod.

"why haven't you said before?" he asks, smiling.

"i just don't like my birthday, and i didn't think you guys needed to know. sam said i should tell you, but i don't want any fuss, honestly. i want to treat the day normally and i don't want even the word 'birthday' being uttered."

"yes, ma'am. we can do that. i think it's a little weird how you don't like it, though," he said, laughing. "but each to their own."

you smile at him before you both fall silent, and you quietly admire dean's eyelashes. he moves his head to look at you, like he knew you were staring at him.

"what time were you born?" he asked, staring you in the eye.

"2:43 in the afternoon. i was five days early. what about you?"

"ah, sometime in the morning, around 7 o'clock. fitting, as i'm more of a morning person than you and sam."

you fall back into the silence again, watching how dean sips his beer slowly and stares off into the distance.

you stand up. "well, i'm gonna head off to bed early. see you in the morning, de."

he sets his beer down, watching you with a strange look on his face but you ignore it.

"have a good sleep," he says, before saying your name. "you might wake up to a surprise," he winks.

you step closer before leaning down and wrapping your arms around his neck, smelling that stupid but gorgeous cedar and sandalwood cologne he sprays everywhere. he instantly wraps his around your torso and nuzzles his head in your neck.

"i'd better not wake up to any kind of surprise, or there will be two homicide reports in the papers tomorrow," you threatened, letting go of him and standing up.

he hums, watching you walk out and head to bed.

you woke up to the bunker being eerily quiet. normally, you'd hear the distant sounds of sam and dean in the kitchen or walking up and down the corridor, but there was nothing.

you stood up out of bed and then it hit you: it was your birthday today. you'd completely forgotten during the night, and the thought of it sent butterflies coursing around your stomach—but not in a good way.

you quickly changed your clothes and made your way down the corridor. it was so quiet that you could almost hear your own heartbeat. something was wrong. maybe sam and dean had been taken by a monster?

you entered the kitchen, seeing dean had left his beer bottle on the side last night by accident. you picked it up and dropped it in the box you'd assigned for glass waste in the corner of the room. typical.

you booted the coffee machine up whilst you made some toast and you ate it at the table in silence, wondering if you'd somehow been frozen in time. but there was just... nothing.

you spent the whole day reading random books from your reading list in the library, cleaning up your room, sorting your washing out, ordering the books in the library, baking some cookies, and whatever else you could think of doing to pass the time. you liked being on your own — not lonely, just alone — that was for sure, but after living for so long with sam and dean around, you missed them. even if they go on hunts without you, they always call you a few times a day. but today there was nothing.

you made yourself a sandwich for dinner, eating it in the kitchen, but just as you'd taken the first bite, your phone rang. sam.

"hey, you okay?" you answered.

"um, i guess? just- you know the diner down the road, The Jukebox? come quick, we need you."

"wait, what happened-" but sam ended the call.

you quickly grabbed your phone, some random car keys from a collection that dean had, a jacket, and you set off. arriving at the diner, you realised the lights were on but the closed sign was hanging. you still pushed the door open.

sam and dean were stood in front of the counter, smirking like they knew something you didn't.

"guys, what's going on?" you asked, walking over to them.

"we just wanted to say happy birthday," sam said.

"we know you don't like it," dean said, before you could interject. "but we called you sister and she said it's a tradition to have ice cream on your birthday for dinner." he reached behind the counter and picked up a bowl of ice cream and handing you one before giving himself and sam one.

"thanks, guys. but you didn't have-" you began saying before dean cut you off.

"we didn't have to, we know. but we wanted to. come and sit down." him and sam led you to a booth by the window which looked out onto the road where a car would occasionally drive by.

you ate, enjoying each other's company.

"how did you guys get this diner so empty?" you asked.

"sam used his wonderful charm on some of the waitresses," dean joked, nudging sam. you laughed as sam pressed his lips in a straight line. "no, we, uh, got Cas to do some brainwashing."

you rolled your eyes. of course they did. "but where were you guys all day?" you asked. sam and dean shared a look.

"do you wanna tell her, or should i?" sam debated.

"i'll tell her," dean said, turning to you and clearing his throat. "when the fog was setting on the asphalt in the early hours of the morning, we set off on a perilous journey–" he was cut off as sam elbowed him in the ribs. "party pooper. we went to see bobby, and..."

he reached in his jacket pocket and brought out a set of keys. but wait, these weren't just any car keys, no, they were the keys to your very own car, your most prized possession, that had been involved in an awful accident a while ago that left the back end of it crumpled and all the windows smashed. bobby said he would try his hardest to fix it up but he told you not to keep your hopes up. this was obviously his little plan.

"no way," you said, staring at them in disbelief.

"aren't you gonna take them?" asked dean, waving the keys in front of your face.

"where is she?" you asked, inspecting the keys. bobby had kept your little lego figurine on the keychain as well as adding a few of his own. "wait, who drove her?"

"i drove her back," dean said. "as much as i don't like sam driving Baby, i didn't want to put your car in the hands of sam as he would probably wreck it."

"hey! i'm not a bad driver," sam protested, causing you and dean to give him a deadpan expression. he frowned slightly before saying, "anyway, don't you wanna take her for a ride?"

you all stood up before you paused and said, "but how did bobby have it ready in time for my birthday?"

"well..." sam started. "he'd already told us about your birthday a few weeks ago and he told us he'd have your car ready in time for it."

"so you knew all along?" they both nodded, causing you to sigh. "when i get my hands on bobby–"

"hey," dean placed a hand on your shoulder. "it's us that asked about your birthday and about your car, okay? don't go threatening bobby for telling us, 'cause it's us that you want to threaten."

"like when i said yesterday about two homicides being in the paper?" you joked, and dean nodded enthusiastically whilst smiling.

"we know how much your car means to you," sam said, smiling. "so we thought we do something nice for you on your day, even if you don't like celebrating it."

a lump in your throat grew as you realised just how much the brothers cared for you. as tears began to form, you said, "thanks guys, this means a lot, really. oh, i should thank bobby too..."

"just take her for a ride already!" dean quickly said, shoving you out of the diner's door where you saw your car in all its glory. you don't know how you'd missed it earlier but she was in the middle of the parking lot.

you quickly jumped in, starting the engine. the sound was like music to your ears after all this time. you swiftly pulled out of the car park, travelling down the road at some speed. you never thought you'd get to drive this car ever again, and you knew you'd forever be in bobby's debt for this. after a moment, you turned the car around and drove back up to the diner.

sam and dean were both leaning against the impala, watching you pull back into the parking lot. the second they both saw your smile, a smile stretched across their faces too—you weren't really the one to show your emotions a lot, so when you did it was a moment to remember.

you parked up next to them, rolling the window down. "i really appreciate this, guys. thank you so much."

"s'okay," dean said. "it's what friends do, right?"

when he said that, something inside you changed. he viewed you as a friend—of course he did. why would he think anything different of you?

"yeah, yeah," you said, casting your gaze across the parking lot instead of looking at dean.

"well, i'm gonna head back," sam said, turning to dean. "can i take the impala or will i have to walk?"

you answered him, quickly shaking off the friend-zoning. "dean can ride with me, if he wants."

"yeah, why not?" dean agreed.

"alright," sam said, taking Baby's keys from dean. you watched as he drove off whilst, unbeknownst to you, dean stared at you. then he silently moved to sit in the passenger's side of your car.

"so," he whispered. "where to now, birthday girl?"

"shut up," you jokingly whispered, your cheeks turning rouge from the close proximity.

"i know you don't like your birthday," dean began. "but this is the only day i'll get to spoil you without anyone questioning why. please just let me have this one day, sweetheart."

you stayed quiet, processing his words, before shifting the car into drive and exiting the car park once again. he didn't ask where, he just let you drive. it was nice for him to be relieved of driving for once, so he was finally able to watch how the sunset cover you in gold and how the wind lifted your hair up just right to make you look like you were in a movie.

you had stopped on the way to buy some bird seed from a gas station — which made dean question where you were taking him — and you arrived after a few minutes of rock music and silence to a serene lake. some ducks were peacefully swimming on the surface, some geese were ruffling their feathers, and a few willow trees were swaying in the wind. you grabbed the bird seed out of your bag and you strolled over to the edge of the lake where the ducks were gathered.

dean got out of the car and watched with interest as you crouched down and began throwing seeds to the ducks for food. he reminisced on a time around a year ago when you'd told him how most people were ignorant enough to feed ducks processed bread rather than something they can actually digest, like seeds. he'd silently admired your extensive knowledge on ducks before asking you more. he thinks of that night as when he truly began to fall for you.

he stood beside you and held out his hand for you to pour some seeds into, and he happily joined in with feeding the ducks. then you motioned to a nearby bench to sit on.

"i'm guessing your sister brought you here?" he questioned, sitting down.

you nodded, saying, "she knows how much i love animals and how i hate seeing people feed the ducks bread."

there it is, thought dean, internally smiling. the feeding ducks bread instead of seeds problem you have.

"so she'd bring you here every year?"

"yep. she still tries to, but life gets in the way. nowadays, i'll come here alone and call her, so she's here in spirit."

"it's nice that you've shared this with, uh, me."

you decided to be brave by subtly hinting at how you feel. after the friend-zoning comment, you just want to confirm that he doesn't see you like that. "who else would i share it with? you and my sister are the only people i think highly enough of to bring here."

"you've put me on the same level as your sister?"

"yeah, you're like family."

he paused, thinking about his next words. "i hope i'm more than just that," he mumbled. there it is, you thought, mirroring deans thought from a minute ago.

you turned your head to cast a glance over him and memorise how perfect he looked in this light. "you are, don't worry. i just... you said earlier that 'that's what friends do', so i thought..."

"oh, oh no, no definitely not. no, i just thought you had your eye on someone else that's all."

"the only people i consistently talk to are you, sam, and my sister. oh, and the coffee shop guy–" you paused, realising. "dean, you don't think i have a crush on the coffee shop guy, do you?" he was now arranging the gravel beneath his feet into a triangle and his silence was enough for you. "he's as- as gay as elton john, and i'm not even kidding. it really should be me worrying you don't have a crush on him, 'cause that would be a real bummer for me. i know you swing both ways though, you can't deny it any longer."

"hey, i'm not–"

"you are."

he pressed his lips together. "yeah i am, i guess. but still, looking at the coffee shop guy, he looks straight, okay? and you're always huddled together in the booth at the back of the shop, so i thought..."

"dean," you said, placing a hand on his shoulder. "that's just us catching up. he always asks if i've gotten any further with– well, with you. he knows i, um, like you and he also knows you like me. he said the first time he saw us within one metre of each other, he knew we were destined. some 'divine intuition' or something."

"he's a witch?"

you paused. "so i just told you i like you and your immediate reaction is to ask if the barista's a witch? you really need to get your priorities in check, dean."

he laughed, loud and carefree, causing you to smile. "i mean, i've always knew you liked me. sam told me to make a move a few weeks ago but i thought i'd let you make a move."

"you're so weird but so..."

"cute?" dean finished.

"i was gonna say arrogant, but whatever floats your boat." you paused, looking at his eyes and then his lips. "come here," you said, grabbing his face and planting a kiss on his lips.

you leaned back to see his eyes widened and his eyebrows raised before he broke into a smile and kissed you back, slowly but surely.

he smiled as you broke the kiss, saying, "shall we feed those ducks? it's more interesting than kissing you."

"hey!" you jokingly hit his arm. "i'm sure the ducks will be glad to have proper food."

so dean sweetly held hands with you as you fed the ducks with the sunset in the background. that night, he sneaked into your bedroom even though there was no point in sneaking about. he slid into your bed, wrapping his arms around you.

"so did you have a good birthday?" he whispered in the dark, your eyes slowly adjusting to see his beautifully wide eyes.

"yep. i think you've restored my faith in birthdays, you and sam."

"really?" he asked, nuzzling his head into your shoulder.

"yes. no one else knows how much that car means to me, it was the most perfect present."

he smiled against you skin. "do you know what would be an even better present?"

"what?" you asked, giggling.

instead of replying, he quickly pinned you in your back and peppered kisses along your face, neck, collarbone, everywhere he could access.

"i can't believe you're finally mine," he said, staring at you through the darkness.

"me neither, de. don't ever think i'm gonna leave you, 'cause i'll stick around forever. i'll be hard to get rid of," you promised, knowing that dean struggled with stable and long-lasting relationships.

you both quickly fell asleep soon after in each other's arms, and dean doesn't think he'll ever have a better night's sleep than being curled up with you on night of your birthday.

[horsemotifs]

Loch took that literally

[teh-nos]

today i learned that apparently some people think "oneshot" means you wrote it in a single writing session? jesus, is that why they look down on them so much? so do they think each chapter of a multichapter is done in one go too? how do they think people write 50k oneshots without dying in the process?