#((I think I’ve spent too much time in the Transformers fandom))

[demonslayedher]

Low-Key Married AU fluff

Kochou said that I was disliked, so I asked her if she disliked me too. For someone so quick to have a smiling response to everything, she struggled to reply. She was the one who proposed marriage and swayed me, so I had thought that meant she had feelings for me. There would be no other way to read it. However, with as unbothered as she is by my absence, I have to wonder.

It’s been ten days since I had last contact with her. I went home to the Butterfly Mansion, but she had just departed for a mission, so I didn’t stay long so as not to trouble the girls. It may still be a few days before I can return again, but it’s always likely she’ll be busy. She’s incredible in that way, taking on all the care of our injured Corp members in addition to her Pillar missions. It must be in her personality to keep adding to what keeps her busy, like taking me in as though I looked like I needed the care. Although the times we’ve spent together have been nice, I don’t require it. My duties call for me to always be ready for battle, and I’ve always kept my heart steady.

So has she. We are Pillars first, and no amount of affection can sway us—whether an abundance or a lack.

I’m not bothered by lacking something I didn’t deserve in the first place.

Last night again, I was too late to prevent a family from being slaughtered. There were no survivors this time, aside from the eldest child who was still ravenous with a recent transformation. Having to chase him down and keep him from harming anyone else kept me off the trail of the progenitor of demons, who had to have been close by. For centuries, he’s evaded us this way over and over, sacrificing entire families to throw us off his trail. If I were to chide myself over every failure, I would have lost the ability to do anything ages ago. Each time, the anger is something I carry with me, to push myself harder the next time, and the next. Any extent more that I can push myself may be the difference to someone’s survival, no one can afford to lose their life over any of my own lost confidence.

“CAW!! TOMIOKA GIYUUUU! NEWS FOR TOMIOKA GIYUUUU!”

Each time it's a crow I think I recognize, my stomach drops. My mind is already playing the words I dread to hear, as though trying to protect my mind once I someday hear them.

"Kochou Shinobu has died."

Even if I hear them, I'm a Pillar first. That was what we promised each other. I'll always do as I must.

The crow says nothing as it delivers a letter.

YES, YES, I KNOW, THIS FANDOM HAS TURNED ME INTO SHIPPER TRASH. For this pairing, it was more specifically my own joke AU which later bit me in the back and made me start really, really enjoying GiyuShino (which, for the record, I do not consider canon). Was throwing ideas back and forth with @reicchel again the other day and so here we are with ship content!

Part of the reason I love the Low-Key Married AU (in which it's mostly canon as usual, except that Shinobu and Giyuu have been married for over a year or so, and it's not a secret but they make such little deal about it that many people don't even know they're married) is that it's a frame through which to see every interaction and either make it really, really funny, or very, very, sad. Everything was supposed to be funny, but it keeps hurting, hahaha... aaahhhh.

For instance, in a regular romcom situation, it should be funny that Kanzaburo doesn't deliver all of Giyuu's letters. Knowing these two, who might had started this whole "well, we'll be a couple when we have time" thing by actively writing regular letters, this could had simply given the impression that the other person wasn't writing as much, so they both naturally decreased frequency to match. It's a little lonely, but neither one is going to push the other for more attention.

No!! I refuse to let this post end with angst! Time for omake!!!

[andarans]

a love letter to dragon age.

i’ve been trying to cope with the news that all the dragon age devs have been laid off or reassigned these past two days, and i just…. it’s hard. it might sound silly to say but i’ve barely been able to do anything because i feel as if i’ve lost a family member. took today to have a good cry. dragon age was such a formative series for me. i joke all the time i got into it for the romances and stayed for the lore but really everything about it i love, dearly. i love that each companion and side character had stories that moved me and made me cry, stories i could relate to even in a world with magic and dragons. i love how the lore is presented, including the brilliance that is the codex—that you’re never quite sure who to believe, that discovering the truth requires you to be an archaeologist. i love how my choices always mattered, that decision i made in origins affected my playthrough in inquisition. i loved the message dragon age as a series sent, about corruption, about power, about propaganda. dragon age influenced so much of my fantasy tastes and own writing and art. it left such a huge mark on my artistic inspirations and work. hell, my first ever dnd character was a tiefling that pretty much looks like a qunari with having a backstory that affected the world she was in, reminiscent of the depiction of elves in dragon age (still one of my favorite and nuanced takes on elves in fantasy, btw). even with the dnd campaign and world i’m writing now, i see dragon age in nooks and crannies. i wrote so much fanfic and drew so much fanart and made so many theories and anxiously followed every bit of news for the development cycle of veilguard. i’d watch the game awards every year with my friend hoping for dragon age news. speaking of friends, god i made so many friends because of dragon age. that common interest sparked so many fun conversations and ideas. i even was a writer for an anders focused dragon age charity zine.

above all i loved the community around dragon age. sure, fandoms all have its moments and toxicity, but by and large my experience with the DA community was wonderful. i love getting to see people’s OCs and world states because i also obsess over my DA OCs and world states. i love getting to see people write theses about dragon age’s themes and masters worthy character studies. the communal love for this world and its characters is so, so profoundly inspiring.

i’ve spent so much time moping but i do want to highlight what i loved about each game and my favorite characters.

DAO: my first intro to the series. by god the gameplay was so slow but the story and characters and lore and writing made it SO worth it. made me appreciate CRPGs too. alistair ended up becoming my favorite character, i remember actually gasping and blushing at the rose moment in his romance. the landsmeet is still one of my favorite quests, i love fantasy political intrigue. morrigan also was my best friend, when she called my warden a sister i cried.

DA2: one of the most underrated games by far. i loved the smaller scale, i loved how personal hawke’s story felt, i loved every single companion and this found family. fenris was my first romance and one of my favorites, he is so complex and misunderstood and secretly has the best sense of humor. i think anders ended up becoming my favorite though—god, anders. i could speak about him for hours but i appreciate the DA devs for what they did for him and letting us romance him. anders made me appreciate his character archetype so much; he is such a tragic man transformed by bitterness and vengeance and rage. “ten years from now, a hundred years from now, someone like me will love someone like you, and there will be no templars to tear them apart.” i love you anders.

DAI: i love the inquisitor. i love how tragic of a character the inquisitor is, ripped from their life and forced to become an idol for a movement they might not even believe in. a lot of people criticize DAI for being “the chosen one” cliché, but it’s not. it’s a critique of that very trope and how it destroys a person. the inquisitor is forced to become an idea, and it does not matter who they actually are; they have all autonomy taken from them, and that is horrifying. cullen ended up ruining my life for a good amount of time, his romance is my favorite in all the series and god he got such a good redemption and ending. (i even bought cullen themed soap from a local convention, lol. i’m telling you i was obsessed). and in my replay solas’ romance absolutely destroyed me, turning him from my dearly detested to my dearly beloved. god trick weekes i will miss you so much, thank you for writing solas.

DAV: i know how contentious veilguard is. believe me i have many of my own criticisms. but i still love it anyway. i love the companions, all of them, i love how act 3 absolutely fucking gutted me and made me cry twice. i loved the amazing visuals and character creator and ost and environments. i love the QOL improvements. i loved seeing the cameos and my inquisitor again. there’s so much to love in veilguard and i’d rather talk about how much i love it than what i didn’t. lucanis was my first romance and while there wasn’t as much content as i was hoping for, i sincerely appreciate what we did get. i love how ride or die he is, how his love language is acts of service, how he’s afraid to hurt rook. i love his facial animations in his romance, i love zach mendez’s performance. i’m hoping to play emmrich and davrin’s next, and i’m sure i’ll love them too.

it’s hard to accept the fact that dragon age is probably over. it makes me sad knowing we’ll never find out about certain lore questions or know what DA5 could’ve looked like. and i’m still so angry for the developers and how they’re so callously treated and thrown away by EA/bioware. sometimes i wonder if the same thing would’ve happened if veilguard sold more. but it’s not helpful to dwell on these what-ifs, because we’ve seen how the industry treats both successful games and what they deem as failures: layoffs and no remorse. i hope the team finds work soon. i hope they realize how loved their work is. i hope someday the game industry is completely, wholly unionized. i’m glad at least we got veilguard to answer the biggest questions we’ve had.

thank you, DA devs, for everything. thank you for answering our silly questions about your characters favorite coffee flavors and perfect date nights. thank you for bringing them to life. i won’t stop playing the games or making art or fic. i won’t stop being inspired. dragon age lives on in my creations, in my dnd characters, in everything. i hope to be back in thedas soon, one day. dareth shiral.

[weaselnerd]

January 25, the day I found out about the toon patrol for the first time!

Story time: about the day that changed my life!

It was a cold day, and I was sitting on a bench near my next class. I was having a rough time—2024 hadn’t started off great for me. I remember feeling sad, wishing my problems would just disappear. Absentmindedly, I opened TikTok and started scrolling through my usual feed. At the time, I was in the Splatoon and Godzilla fandoms, though I didn’t have many mutuals in those communities. Unfortunately, I’d had to block a lot of people due to toxicity. As I kept scrolling, something caught my eye: a speed-draw of a character I didn’t recognize (who I later learned was Wheezy) from a page called “weaselstan2005.” Intrigued, I dove into their content, watching every video and slowly learning the characters’ names. A little research revealed that they were called the Toon Patrol, and they appeared in Who Framed Roger Rabbit. I’d never fully seen the movie before—just snippets of Roger and Jessica Rabbit—but I decided to watch it when I got home.

That day at school, I couldn’t stop thinking about the Toon Patrol. I was so distracted I kept zoning out during class. As soon as I got home, I went straight to my room and started the movie. Watching it was a transformative experience. I laughed and felt a kind of happiness I hadn’t experienced in a long time, especially whenever the Toon Patrol appeared on screen. After that, I spent the rest of the day watching clips of them, reading every wiki page I could find, and learning all I could about the characters. I even started trying to draw them, and it’s fun to look back now and see how much my art has improved since then.

I soon fell down the rabbit hole of fanart and noticed that many fans had original characters, so naturally, I decided to make one too. It’s become a tradition for me to create clown OCs in every fandom I join because I love clowns. My first OC was Jokes, who back then was inspired by Italian opera clowns. Originally, Jokes was supposed to be a character the Toon Patrol didn’t like because he tried to make them laugh—which, could literally kill them. But since I loved Wheezy so much, I made them close friends instead. However that did change and now they don’t know eachother

My second OC, Rollerblade, was created on February 27. At first, he was going to be a spy for the Toon Patrol, with the codename “Bomber,” which later changed to “Roller.” Eventually, while I was on a plane to Japan during spring break, I settled on the name Rollerblade. His role evolved too; instead of being a spy who threw bombs at Roger Rabbit, he became Smartass’s so-called “enemy,” even though Smartass doesn’t even know Rollerblade exists.

More OCs came to life during my time in Japan, and I discovered new art styles along the way. While there, I also stumbled upon Wacky from Bonkers and Br’er Weasel from the Song of the South comics, which sent me further down the rabbit hole of Disney weasels. Over the months, I found more artists and characters, and it all made me happier, helping me forget my problems for a while.

When summer break arrived, I doubled down on my research, explored more art styles, and followed my favorite artists across platforms. That’s when I found Tumblr. I created an account under the name “Soapywoozle” and made my first post on July 1. Joining Tumblr turned out to be one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I’ve met so many amazing, kind, and creative people here. For the first time, I feel like I truly belong in a fandom—I feel seen instead of ignored. I’m so grateful for everyone I’ve met, and I can’t wait to keep sharing this journey with all of you! ❤️

@marinerainbow @shy-nightmare @basiabd @los-angeles-toon-patrol @loveforskekshod @lastofautumn @sammyanimates @alexissoosigma52288

Thank you all for being the best people I’ve could’ve met! This fandom has made me so happy and has helped me a lot with my mental health! In a way I would like to Thank wheezy in particular since he got me into this fandom! I don’t know where I would be if I didn’t see him!

Maybe if wanted I’ll show all my old toon patrol art and show how my oc’s look back then to show how they’ve changed.

As a small tribute here is some old splatoon clips and photos!

[natureboy96]

Prediction for ACOTAR ending

I’ve recently finished through reading the ACOTAR series as of about a month ago, and since then I’ve spent a long time thinking about how the series will end in regards to certain characters, mainly Tamlin, Lucien and Elain. I know a number of people don’t believe that Tamlin is deserving of redemption/healing, and while I disagree with the idea entirely, from what I’ve gathered the author doesn’t really. I would like to see Tamlin get the patience and kindness other characters have been given in the series to heal and become a better person, and I’ll definitely be keeping that in my mind as my preferred and better ending, but I also don’t expect it to happen. With that in mind, I’ve had a single thought as to the best way I predict Ms Maas will end his part in the story.

With Tamlin having regressed more and more into a bestial form, the Spring Court in disarray and nothing seeming to get better, the other high lords (or probably just the Inner Circle) will decide that something has to be done and a new lord put into place. Lucien will have been on a journey of self discovery and respecting women and winning Elain over (haven’t many details on that part) and being of two powerful courts will volunteer to do it, which means confronting his friend Tamlin.

In the end, I think it will end the way it began; a hunter in the woods, staring down a fae transformed into a beast who may seem threatening but is really there waiting for death, and an arrow to the heart. Tamlin’s power will transfer to either him or Elain or both, and they’ll rule the Spring Court together.

It would be a tragic end for me for a good character, if not somewhat poetic, and I hope there would be some hint of dignity or regret or feeling of loss to go with it. I wish I could say I’d expect at least that much, but I’ve come to doubt it…

——————————————

To not end things on too sour a note, my hope is that Tamlin will be able to give up or abdicate his powers through the Spring McGuffin, seeing as he never wanted to be High Lord in the first place, Lucien and Elain somehow get it, Tamlin gets his space for healing, him and Lucien make up, and then he can go about playing the fiddle and dancing and finding out who he really wants to be, not who everyone (fandom and author included) expect or plan for him to be. A pipe dream, but a lovely one at that.

[kamryn1963]

Chicago PD Fanfic- Al, Hank & Trudy

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Chicago PD (TV) Rating: Not Rated Warnings: Major Character Death Relationships: Alvin Olinsky & Trudy Platt & Hank Voight Characters: Trudy Platt, Alvin Olinsky, Hank Voight Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Reunions, Character Death, Afterlife, I Don't Even Know, Everybody Dies, Well just Al and Hank and Trudy, which is everyone in this fic, My interpretation of an afterlife btw, The Author Regrets Nothing

Summary:

After 31 years, 4 months and 3 days, Al, Hank and Trudy are back together again.

Alvin had died first, only 55 when he was murdered. Six years later Hank died at the hands of Frank Matson. Trudy had been first on scene that day to find Hailey holding Hank’s dead body. She had never been able to get the sight out of her head. 

Trudy was 86 when she died. The fact that she even made it that long, surprised her. But after the team had already lost Hank and knowing her death would kill Randall, Trudy knew she had to stay. 

31 years, 4 months and 3 days after Alvin Olinsky died, and 25 years, 5 months and six days after Hank Voight died, Trudy Platt died. She went in her sleep. A peaceful death. Unlike what Alvin’s and Hank’s had been. They’d both been stabbed to death and Trudy always wondered if maybe she could’ve done more to save them. 

It didn’t matter now though. Because they were together again. She had mourned Alvin for longer than she had known him. Had spent 25 years mourning Hank. 

When Trudy woke up it was to find herself in a park and it took Trudy a minute to recognize it but she smiled when she did. It was a familiar sight, a park that had been near Hank’s house that the trio had spent many days and nights at together. Just talking or enjoying the peace and quiet. 

Trudy started walking. She knew she was dead, that much was clear and when Trudy saw two figures on a bench nearby she smiled again. A true smile this time for the first time in years. 

One of the figures, a man, turned when he heard the footsteps and let out a wide grin as he stood up. 

“Look who finally decided to join us”. Hank stated as he started walking towards her. She could see the other figure was Alvin who also stood up at Hank’s words. 

“You sure took your sweet time”. Al added as he leaned against the bench he and Hank had been sitting on. 

Trudy didn’t say anything at first. Just watched them. Both looked like they hadn’t aged a day since their deaths. Trudy thinks they looked younger almost. Less stressed and like they didn’t have the weight of the world on their shoulders anymore. 

“Somebody had to stay around”. Trudy finally managed to say as Hank came up to her and hugged her. 

“And we appreciate you for that”. Hank chuckled before pulling away as Al came up to her next. He hugged her the same as Hank had, and Trudy hugged back. 

Even after so long it felt like no time had passed. 

“So this is it?” Trudy asked as she looked around. It just looked like the same park it always did. But Trudy knew it wasn’t real. Or maybe it was. Trudy didn’t really know or care anymore. She had lived far too long to care. 

“Don’t sound so disappointed. You're with us now”. Al responded with a grin as he looked around himself. 

“There’s no place I’d rather be”. Trudy responded and it was true. Sure she felt bad for leaving her husband, but he was also old and his health wasn’t great. Trudy wouldn’t be surprised if she saw him here soon. 

“Good. Because I’ve been dealing with Al for way too long on my own”. Hank jokes, smirking as Al swatted at his shoulder. 

Trudy just watched them with a fond smile even as she rolled her eyes at their familiar antics. Somehow she had missed this. It had been a long time, even before Alvin then Hank died, that she saw them this happy. This carefree. 

31 years, 4 months and 3 days. But they were together again. Even after all that, the grief, blame, guilt. Things had worked out.

[singer-saboteur-soldier-spy]

((WIP sketch of the fusion form, because I am very bad at Calling Things Done. Trying to see if we can keep some key pieces for silhouette reasons while still cutting down on excess clutter.))

[empty-movement]

The State of the (Empty) Movement

Revolutionary Girl Utena’s 25th anniversary is next month. But we seem…strangely silent, no? Well. Let’s talk about the State of the (Empty) Movement!

The bulk of the content we call ‘Empty Movement’ was built in the 00’s, including the massive gallery. (The current iteration was a 10th anniversary project, in fact.) My priority has always been enabling transformative fandom media to take place by providing the curation myself–I like to think I’ve been pretty successful in this. These days, the website is a central location still, but ‘Empty Movement’ has come to broadly mean the site, the Discord, and these social media presences. 

For most of the 2010’s, I have run Empty Movement off a laptop. A nice one! But a laptop–for something that is, though an amateurist’s hobby, absolutely the size and scale of a not entirely small digital museum. This wasn’t a lack of access to means, so much as me thinking ‘hey it’s pretty much finished right??’ This was an attempt to self-sabotage my way out of what would only expand in scope if I ever gave myself more room to grow it. I had my reasons, but they were bad ones, many around the belief that it was time to put away childish things and be a productive member of society–a nurse, even. 

Well. The pandemic has sucked for nurses. I’ve gone through things I literally cannot legally discuss, except only to say…I’m a wee bit traumatized. Weird how the whole productive member of society thing goes, huh? In the meantime, the unproductive end of my life–this–has been a source of support, positivity, and a sincere belief that something important is happening within it. In the last couple years, a swelling of interest in not only Utena, but also the history I have here, has brought me to a realization that while I flap many many wings on many many butterflies in my ‘real’ job…the butterflies here are unique, found nowhere else, and may be valuable to people beyond the scope of fan media. 

In a move that surprises literally no one except me, I’ve learned recently I very likely have ADHD that I’ve historically controlled by self-abuse. So while I sit here humoring the escalation in scope of my stupid side hobby fun project, I’m also having to concede that my previous ways of doing things made it too difficult to do anything right, or enjoy it at all. And…I guess I care. I care about doing this right. And enjoying it would be nice.

What do I have? I don’t know. I have several hard drives on several computers of dozens of ‘backup of Empty Movement’ folders sometimes with dates, sometimes not. Some Utena data here, some there…I have literal decades of Utena content disorganized and scattered about. Meta, books, copies of websites that have disappeared, and so on. The site is now the tip of the iceberg that used to just be ‘unsorted, not on the site yet’ folders. For god’s sake I have burned CD-Rs with stuff like ‘EM unsorted’ on them. 

As before, my question has become ‘how is what I have useful, and to who?’ I’ve been approached by a greater than zero number of people in the last few years wanting to use Utena’s fandom for research and things like that, and I’m learning that what I think of as a clusterfuck mess of an old garage…others think of now as digital antiques, valuable collections of context, and resources. Sounds productive! 

So where is this going? Well my silence has been because I’ve been in the background, radically altering how I do the hobby I’ve done all my life. No one likes to fund infrastructure because it’s boring and unsexy, but it’s what I’ve needed, and I’ve spent a small fortune creating a real workspace and backend resources to do this right, and to do this more easily. I have a desk now, just like back then. A computer that can handle the absolute savagery I inflict on it. A screen large enough to work from. I’ve bought an orthopedic chair, because my body is broken in ICU RN ways. A NAS set-up, because physical data protection being managed manually across multiple drives is no longer a reasonable or viable way to keep up with this stuff for someone with attention problems. Of course, that needed a new router. And a battery backup. And so on. I am boning up on the last decade’s worth of advancements in data management, while also looking for ways to help share the content I have that hasn’t ‘made it’ to the site yet. People offer me so much help with so many things, and I often refuse not because I don’t need help, but because I don’t know how to let anyone help without making my mess even harder to keep track of. The sabotage is over. Empty Movement’s all in for another 25 years.

What does that mean? God I don’t even know yet–but I do know that big changes are coming! The gallery was always meant to be a permanent solution, but I was being stupid 

about that, and the heavily modified software is now bursting at the seams, workable on the visitorside, but almost impossible to add anything to now. I’ve avoided doing anything about this because I 1. Don’t wanna rebuild the gallery lmao, and 2. Have been wanting to avoid URL decay. But the ball is well rolling now, and I am kneecapping accessibility to a larger pool of content trying to preserve the URLs of the older gallery. 

Maybe you have noticed a culture shift in how I present content. I historically aimed at graphic design folks, fanart, cosplay, analysis, things like that–in 2022, the information people find interesting has changed, more detailed and context oriented. So I’m learning about how to use metadata and tags to offer, say, the original publication place of a scan of a piece from a subsequent artbook. Who drew it, when, why, etc. Tags, the bane of my existence in 2008, are all but obligatory now, when I have literally 14k images I need to make reasonably easy to sort through. But in 2022–people want to help me, and I need to let them. That means making it easy for that to be done. I am spending a lot of money and a lot of time to learn how to do that. But I think it will be worth it. Empty Movement has felt, at times, like a burden in my life. And it still does. But it���s also what I care about, and what others have cared about with me. 

This isn’t a post asking for money, but if you want to help pay for all this, I absolutely wouldn’t stop you, and invite you to check out our Patreon. Make no mistake, this is happening either way--but I’d be lying if I said it was entirely affordable for me, lmao. This isn’t a post asking for help either–I will ask about that later, or bug y’all if you’re in the Discord. This isn’t–okay it kinda is–a post asking for what you want; I’d be really interested in hearing what you all would prioritize if you were me. Cover to cover copies of all printed media I have? A website for the video game files and FAQs? Because I have those. A revamp of the translation site for Shounen Ou, the project Enokido and Hasegawa did after Utena, that I now have a book to scan the art at high res out of? A gallery of old layouts for the website? Is analysis of graphic design in the early 00’s something anyone wants? So on, so forth. A website about the musicals? Including the mythic second one? Because I now know more than I used to about it–and I could be sharing that also! It’s literally endless, as I go through each drive I find more things I thought I’d remember and didn’t. Fandom history, Utena history, Queer history, Animation production history. What do we care about? If you’re looking at this more academically, what’s valuable to you given I possess a very thick cross-section of a single specific media and fandom presence? 

I have a lot of Utena. That’s what I’m here for, that’s what you’re here for. And it matters, so I’m going to share even more of it. Stay tuned. <3

[polylerman]

The opinion of an observer

I’m always an observer on this fandom for long long time. Today I’ve decided to express myself after reading the fanfiction of Musingsofme on AO3. Lol.

I like Tsukuyo character so much. I personally think that this is probably the best character development of Sorachi. This character is deep and complex.

Well she is rebel. And the best way to show how rebel she is in the place that is full of sex like Yoshiwara is to be virgin. The whole plot about Hosen arc is also to show how brave and rebel she is.

The most interesting story to me is the whole thing about Jiraia. Actually Tsukuyo was very lonely. She was sold to Yoshiwara when she was young, then rebelled so strongly, ending up being trained to be a special force of Yoshiwara. This was where she met Jiraia.

Tsukuyo knew no love. Even if the relationship between her and Jiraia was so abusive, she embraced it anyway because this was the only kind of care and love she experienced. And with all of the responsibilities and expectations she was put on, in the end she removed the fun out of her life.

Then one day she met Gintoki who actually gave her new perspective in life. The thing is that this guy is the first one in her life that said to her “Hey! You know what? You don’t deserve this shit at all. You deserve something better. Life doesn’t have to be pure and clean. It can be dirty, but beautiful at the same time”.

So for Tsukuyo, she respects Gintoki because he has freedom that she hasn’t. She would like to be like him and she knows that she can’t.

The time has gone by the respect somehow turned into something more than that. The more she knows him, the more she falls for him slowly.

For Gintoki’s side, I know Sorachi didn’t confirm but he gave many clues. The well-played arc to me is love potion. There are many layers in this arc.

Well let’s have a look how the incense works. So at the beginning Sorachi has started introduce it by Hinowa. What she understands is that… ok! You will fall for the first one you lay your eyes on after you smelled it. This is just what people ‘believe’ how it works. But right after this, Sorachi also showed how the incense actually works.

What happened to Kagura and Shipachi is the first event to proof Hinowa wrong. Then Sorachi also tried to confirm with what happened to Kyuubei, Otae and Kondo. The incense made them realize their true feelings and be honest.

Now Hinowa is completely wrong.

Same thing as Tsukuyo. First she saw his dick, but actually she likes him as a person.

These are what happened to many characters who smelled the incense. What about Gintoki? Well actually for me the same thing happened to him.

Many might have said he smelled it too much that he got crazy. Well the fight between the ideology he believes (the same issue as Tsukuyo – he doesn’t want to rely on anyone or everyone is equal) and the effect of the incense kept happening inside him so strongly that it just showed up like he’s gone crazy. For Gintoki, he said something so cheesy at the same time being so serious, then said something crazy again like he’s drunk. It’s up and down like he’s been fighting inside with the drug so hard. (Also he always came back to her.)

He talked about his believe that everyone is equal again. And then…being so damn cheesy and serious again.

They stick together again. He even said “Sorry! I don’t know why I did that.”

In the end, he spent time with her without Shinpachi or Kagura.

Also he’s here in Yoshiwara alone again even if it’s so far from where he lives. And why on earth he was on the rooftop that night. Was he looking for her knowing that she’s working?

And actually this is not the first time he’s here alone.

He’s in Yoshiwara alone again and didn’t expect to work. Literally just came to see her them.

In the red spider arc, he’s not here alone. But it’s clear that he didn’t come here for work.

And yep! Gin-san likes looser women.

So saying that Gintoki NEVER likes Tsukuyo is kinda wrong to me.

There is also the whole thing about their backgrounds. Like Gintoki who were the one who executed Shouyou, Tsukuyo also executed Jiraia to save Gintoki. And he was very shocked.

Now they have very similar path.

For Tsukuyo like she said at the end of love potion, Gintoki is everyone’s man. She accepts that she loves him but she doesn’t believe that she deserves him. Same shit as Gintoki, he believes he deserves to be alone. He is haunted by his sins in the past. He’s a no-good man.

During the fight with Jiraia, Gintoki kept talking about how coward Jiraia is and comparing himself to Jiraia.

“Tsukuyo’s already stronger than you. Cowards should settle for fighting cowards. And if you need an opponent, I am more than enough!”

This is somehow he talks to himself as he compared himself to Jiraia. He is a pitiful creature who will never reach the sky.

Well they are both tsundere. Both of them believe that they don’t deserve each other. But they do!

Sorachi said sorry about the fact that Gintoki character was barely developed. To me, he did try with Tsukuyo and the events in Yoshiwara. What he said to Jiraia or Tsukuyo is the thing that reflects himself.

Well I like this ship so much. I’ve never ever thought that I still have fanfiction to follow after it ended, but the truth is that I have. Lol

Thank you everyone who contributes fanfiction to this community until now.

[inotanzen]

hiii! i really admire your art skills. and the fact that you improved so much in just 6 months is inspiring! do you have any tips on how to improve? i'm 26 and i want to improve but i feel like ive neglected my art for so long and now it's too late. :(

THANK YOU SO SO MUCH OMG ?? oh man i’m so bad with feeling and gratitude but this seriously means more than i can express so i worked really, really hard on narrowing down my best tips! so here’s

Eli’s Top 5 Rules To Be a Totally Cool Awesome Badass Artist In As Long As It’s Going To Take (In Order) :

Most important rule of all is it should be FUN. be disgustingly self indulgent, draw what you want and LOVE, not what you think you should or what everyone else is, or how everyone else is! don’t vibe with doing sketches first? hate lining? despise complicated painting styles? find shortcuts, don’t do them!!! if you’re doing digital maybe draw your sketches traditionally first and scan them/take a photo to draw over, try a lineless style, cel shading, or mixing mediums, the options are endless! this is where your “style” will come from. all “style” is, is an artists shorthand.

You are your only competition. never compare your progress to anyone but your past self, it’s not a race in terms of how good you are at X age after X amount of time spent practicing. i saw it illustrated in this comic a few years ago (that made me cry at the time, because i hadn’t started drawing yet) as seeing your skills as a beautiful potted plant- just because some people are walking around with theirs fully grown and thriving, doesn’t mean your little sprout will stay small forever. just be patient, keep watering it, and eventually, it’ll be a beautiful flower all your own. ❀

Use references Obsessively. this includes tracing! (ethically) there’s a ton of resources out there, redraws of frames from movie or shows are great too! play around with it, try using the perspective but change the style or turn it into a character au for a fandom you love. (this is part of that first tip!) mashing together images past the point of original intelligibility is acceptable as well. the goal isn’t to obsess over accuracy or stop using references altogether though, just to use them differently over time.

Inspiration/motivation won’t be gone forever. don’t force yourself to practice drawing, or you’ll end up resenting it altogether. i’ve had my tablet and pencil since january but i say 6 months bc there were two (almost three) entire months where i had no inspiration and just did Nothing. take time to consume new media for ideas or look at what inspires you instead! keep folders of the things you find most appealing to pull up when you need them. art can be a freeing escape if you allow it to be!

Look at art you admire and think about Why you admire it. why does it look good, what catches your eye most? is it the colors? the lighting? the shapes and perspective? the varied line thicknesses or the overall layout composition? everything can be broken down into components, hone in on the ones you like most and try to emulate them. we’re all just flowing down the stream of shared inspiration together. :)

bonus digital art tip: you will always need more layers than you think you do. give each element its own layer like it’s the most introverted mf you’ve ever met, i swear on everything good in this cursed world you will thank me later. layer/item selection and transform are your best goddamn friends for life.

there’s also a lot of art related posts in this tag and on my art twitter ♡ thank you endlessly again and good luck on your journey!!

[animecreator3000]

About the Boueibu iceberg

@delphoxqueen asked me to explain about my list for the iceberg so here it is. I might update this from time to time with links and stuff if I stumble across the original posts. This is all from what I know so feel free to add new info. Also, spoiler warning for RobiHachi and the Boueibu manga and novels. (This is like a masterpost it’s very long)

1. There’s a theory in tumblr about which decade the series is set in, using data like the friday the 13th calendar in s2 ep11. In HK we got a second number for when the next monthly Pretty Boy Contest was happening and using the one from Love it was theorized that around a decade had passed since then, which ended up being true.

2. The stage play had a few original songs and characters exclusive to it so unless you watched the full performance, you probably weren’t able to witness all of them. One of the characters is called “Robato Deniro”, as romanized in the stage play booklet I own.

3. The nurse and the cafeteria staff from the s1 mobile game appear in the background in around the first half of s2 ep3.

4. S2 had an unfinished manga that was only available online and was never released on physical format; it was centered around the defense club and sometimes the conquest club and Beppu brothers. All that’s left from what I know are the scans linked on magicalgirlsandcerulean’s blog.

5. This isn’t that obscure because it’s talked about in the anime, but I’m mentioning it because I think many people dropped it before the ova, where right at the beginning it is revealed that the alien that resucitated Mr. Tawarayama twice was, as described by Io, a “mulberry-colored naked mole rat-looking thing”, and was nicknamed “Moley-san” by Yumoto. At least in the anime, we had never heard before of who this was and it never appeared on screen nor was mentioned again.

6. In HK ep8, Karurusu promises the knights to grant a wish if they show him how earthlings spend summer. Kyoutarou reveals at the end of the episode that he wished that summer lasted one more day so he could spend it doing nothing, which prompts Ichiro to theorize that it’s the 32nd of august, and the next day is the second 1st of september.

7. The stage play was was held from march 10th to 13rd, of which the latter is Ryuu’s birthday. There’s an additional recording of a small celebration with cake focused on Ryuu and Io.

8. Atsushi mentions his older sister in the flashback at the beginning of s1 ep4, but she never appears or is mentioned again.

9. There’s a few posts on tumblr theorizing about what happened to the Hakone parents since Yumoto only says in s2 ep3 that according to Gora, “they are busy with their hot springs tour”. En mentions that it’s a bit suspicious, but it’s all the information we have from the anime. Posts talk about the parents perhaps passing away from an accident or an illness, thus the reason why Gora was so worried about Yumoto’s cold in s1 ep10, but from another post I think it’s implied in the second novel that they actually left their home when Yumoto was still a toddler.

10. It’s no secret that the surnames of the characters are all real onsens in Japan that even the seiyuus have visited, but apparently the Arima onsen has two different kinds of water, “kinsen (gold hot spring)” and “ginsen (silver hot spring)”, with different properties each, and the Kusatsu onsen water also has certain properties, both that were used to build the characters. Additionally, Ryuu’s favorite food are Sato Nishiki cherries, which are grown in the same prefecture, Yamagata, as his onsen, Zaou.

11. The press club lose relevance after s1, with only Kinosaki and Tazawa reappearing briefly in s2 ep2 to interview the Beppu twins after they arrive at the school. Tazawa doesn’t even have lines. Hireashi is mentioned by Zundar in ep11.

12. What the heck

13. Exclusively in the manga we see that Arima met Kinshiro and Atsushi when they were little and they were good friends, but when they met again as adults, Kinshiro seemingly didn’t remember Arima. Atsushi, however, stated that Kinshiro’s talent is remembering people’s faces and names, so Arima wonders if he’s just trying to distance himself from him. He also explains to Akoya that he follows Kinshiro and obeys him because as a child, he was fascinated by his radiant smile. This is never talked about in the anime.

14. Like the previous point, the anime never shows Akoya being bullied, at most just a slight dislike of his full name, but the manga shows that he was made fun of for it and how he actually hates his surname, to the point of introducing himself formally to the president and vicepresident of the student council as “Holy Angel Akoya”.

15, 16, 17, 19. Batonama lives were the livestreams done through the franchise by the defense club seiyuus on youtube and niconico. They’re all on youtube, without any kind of translation.

Love-ko is a girl with a shell bikini drawn on a piece of cardboard that was used as a girlfriend in the Batonama Love! lives, acted by the seiyuus themselves.

RobiHachi has one episode full of official Boueibu artwork and a parody of the series too, a Love-ko doll appears, and Wombat appears as well, named “The Don”. It received an english dub, so for a bit, people were excited that Wombat was going to speak in english too. Also, various mechas appear in both Boueibu and RobiHachi.

18. The director of Fairy Ranmaru (Masakazu Hishida if I’m not wrong) revealed in an interview that he was inspired by Boueibu and aimed to make a show like that.

20, 21. The website super-groupies.com has results for defense and conquest club lingerie sets, dc and VEPPer tote bags, the Beppus’ scarf rings, dc bath sets and the pumps magicalgirlsandcerulean mentioned. I’ve found the s1 Loveracelets and Caerula Adamas’ ring on different sites, the True Loveracelets on TheChara’s twitter and the Happybraces (apparently called “Hapibure”) on broccoli.co.jp but I’m not sure where exactly they were all announced and sold, so I’ll just drop that.

22, 33. Boueibu was originally pretty much a copy of Sailor Moon, I think they were all going to be called “Lackluster Moon” and that stuff and be literally Sailor Moon genderbent. They were all different from color palettes to physical features (except Yumoto’s), and Ryuu was a shota, even smaller than Yumoto. Their names were also very reminiscent of the five Sailor Senshis’. Even if they made it more original, the show is still clearly inspired by Sailor Moon (just look at Caerula Adamas lol) and Pretty Cure. It has also referenced, very blatantly, animes like Doraemon, Detective Conan, Aikatsu and even Vocaloid, when Kyoutarou tries to guess what Karurusu is saying with ““Just Google It, Asshole”?” in ep1.

23. Wombat’s real name and the name of his planet sound like gibberish to the earthlings and ends up being named after the Earth animal, but Zundar, Dadacha, Karurusu and Furanui all have original names. And I think Hireashi means “goldfish”?

24. If you google “zundar technology”, it’s actually a company in Shanghai, China. Aren’t Wombat and Zundar always talking about “advanced alien technology”?

25. Zundar and Dadacha are siblings, so are Karurusu and Furanui, and so are their father King Kamopapa and their uncle minister Wao, but neither are the same species and, except the first two, not even the same color. But they are supposedly related because they share birthmarks or something like that...

26. Everyone who’s in this fandom knows about the pixel blur and voice pitch censor from s1, but I’ve added it anyway because it’s so rare for mahou shoujo and shounen animes to explain why the heroes aren’t recognized when transformed.

27. A good while of s2 ep11 is spent discussing Zundar’s ex-wife and his problems to give child support. Naturally, he gets mad at this.

28. “Money doesn’t betray” (s1 ep6) and “The despair hidden behind your smile that comes from not being understood” (s3 ep11) are sentences that came out of nowhere and implied that the people they were said by (Io) or about (Taiju) respectively had some kind of angst going on but were never explained at all. They’re famous for just that.

29. The Beppu twins’ house in Andromeda shown in flashbacks had strange green circles that apparently are from another anime I don’t know but honestly I didn’t get it very well... It was revealed on a tweet from Takamatsu.

30. Alien language mostly appeared in s2 due to the many flashbacks of Aki and Haru in Andromeda, but in Boueibu s1, it appears on the Zundar Needle before it is shot on the human. It appears a lot through RobiHachi as well, due to being a story about travelling through space. There might be an alphabetical chart somewhere, but I can’t assure it exists, I might even have dreamed it.

31. Hikaru Midorikawa as the melon monster, Kousuke Toriumi as the bishounen monster, Yoshitsugu Matsuoka as the kotatsu and panda monsters and Takuya Eguchi as the remote controller monster in s1 and 2, before going on to voice the main cast in HK. Keisuke Koumoto voiced Hatchi Kita in RobiHachi as well as Akihiko in Boueibu, and the characters look similar.

A new addition is that so far Boueibu is the only anime I’ve seen where children weren’t voiced by female seiyuus, but by actual children. Personally, it’s charming and makes it so much more realistic, specifically since no women appear in the franchise at all either (not counting Protag-chan in the game).

32. Speaking of seiyuus, Can I Destroy The Earth? had a dub shown in ep11/12 (?) that made Gora the villain that wanted Earth to stay the same and not progress, against the monsters that supposedly wanted to bring good things to earthlings. Aki and Haru quickly dismissed this dub as fake. (I made a mistake in the title in the previous post btw)

34. As seen in the glossary in the Boueibu Mook (I think, but might not be the mook), Caerula Adamas’ speeches are based on an old japanese detergent commercial that went “Gold, silver, pearl, gift”.

35. In the manga there’s a short parody of the first chapter of Sailor Moon with “Pretty Boy Guardian Gakuran Akoya”. The conquest club manga was released before the anime, so I remember reading somewhere that a fake website appeared for the Gakuran Akoya manga, before turning into the conquest club manga website in the day of its release.

36. Cgi was used a few times in the anime: s2 ep10 for a short sequence of the defense club on a rollercoaster and the carousel monster, ep11 for a cenital shot of the Battle Lovers singing, and HK ep12 for the Honyalaland soldiers and the Wao mecha.

37. The toothbrush incident in s1 ep7. (It’s definitely well-known but it’s so weird lol)

38. “We hope we can see each other again someday!” Something along those lines was the last text to appear in the last episode of HK, implying a s2. We all know how that went.

[highsviolets]

INTERVIEW NO. 1: RACHEL @djarinsbeskar

hello hello! i am so happy to announce that rachel — aka the immense talent that is @djarinsbeskar — has agreed to be my first interviewee for this new series! thank you to rach and to each one of you for all of your support. to read more about the project, click here, and to submit an author, click here.

| why rachel? |

Rachel captured my imagination from the first time we interacted as mutuals-in-law. She’s bursting with energy and vivaciousness, with a current of kindness just underneath everything she does. Her work is no exception. Oftentimes gritty, raw, and exposing (in … ahem…more ways than one), Rachel challenges her readers to dig deeper into both the story and themselves. Her smut brings a particular fire as it’s laced with need, desire, and mutual trust that leads us deeper into the characters’ identities and how physical affection can mimic other forms of intimacy. She’s a tour de force in this fandom and an absolute joy.

| known for |

Engaging with and encouraging other authors, cultivating inspo posts, attention to world building & character development

| my favorites |

Stitches

Boxer!Din

Full Masterlist • Ko-Fi

| q & a |

When did you start writing? What was that project, and what was it like? Has that feeling or process ever changed over time? Why?

I can’t remember a time I wasn’t writing. I was an avid reader, as I think most writers are—and I remember, after picking up Lord of the Rings—that I could live so many lives, experience so many things, all from the pages of a book. I could make sense of the world through words and ink and paper. And it offered me a level of peace and clarity I wanted to share with others. So, I started writing.

My first project I remember to this day, was a short story about a dog. I had been so heartbroken when I learned that dogs were colourblind. I must have been about seven or eight at the time, and I was fixated on this idea that dogs couldn’t see the vibrant hues that made the world beautiful. It was something I wanted to change—and with all the righteous anger of a child not getting their own way, I sulked over the fact that I couldn’t. Until I wrote it down.

“How do dogs see colour?”

And much like my writing today, I answered myself.

“Dogs don’t need to see colour. Dogs smell colour.”

And so, I wrote a story, about a puppy being brought on different walks by its owner. And with every new street it walked down—colour bloomed with scent. Colours more beautiful and vibrant than we could ever hope to see with our eyes. And it gave me solace and helped me work through an emotion that – granted was immature and inconsequential – had affected me. To this day, I still smile seeing dogs sniffing at everything they pass on their walks. Smelling colour. It gave me the key to my favourite thing in life. I don’t think my process has changed much since then. Much of what I write is based on a skeleton plan, but I leave room for characters to speak and feel as they need to. I like to know the starting point and destination of a chapter—but how they get there, that still falls to instinct. I think I’ve found a happy medium of strict planning and winging it that suits me now—and hopefully it will continue to improve over time!

When did you start posting your writing, and on what platform? What gave you the push to do that?

I mean, fanfiction has always been part of my life. I think anyone who was growing up in the late 2000’s and early 2010’s found their way to fanfiction.net at some time or other. The wild west compared to what we have now! My first post was for the Lord of the Rings fandom on fanfiction.net. It was an anthology of the story told through the eyes of the steeds. Bill the Pony, Shadowfax—it was all very innocent. That was probably in 2010 when I was fifteen. I had been wanting to share writing for a long time but was worried about how it would be received. I didn’t really have a gauge on my level or my creativity and – one of the many flaws of someone with crippling perfectionism – I only ever wanted to provide perfection. That was a major inhibitor when I was younger. By wanting it to be perfect, I never posted anything. Until that stupidly cute LOTR fic. It was freeing to write something that no one but me had any interest in, because if I was writing for myself then there was no one to disappoint, right? And that was all it took. I had some pauses over the years between college and life and such, but I’ve never lost that mindset when it comes to posting.

What your favorite work of yours that you have ever written? Why is it your favorite? What is more important to you when considering your own stories for your own enjoyment — characters? fandom? spice? emotional development? the work you’ve put into it? Is that different than what you enjoy reading most in other people’s fics?

I don’t think it’ll come as much of a surprise when I say Stitches. While not original, I mean—it follows the plot of the Mandalorian quite diligently, it is the piece of work I really hold very close to my heart. Din Djarin as a character is what got me back into writing after what must have been five years? He inspired something. His manner, his personality—he resonated with me as a person in a way I hadn’t felt in a long time. And gave me back a creative outlet I had been missing.

It’s funny to say out loud—but I wanted to give him something? I spent so long thinking about his character that half my brain felt like it belonged to him—how he reacted and responded to things etc. and of course, like every dreamy Pisces—I wanted to give him love and happiness. So, Stitches came along. Personally, when writing—it’s a combination of characters, emotional development and spice (I can’t help myself) and when we can follow that development. With Stitches, it’s definitely the spice that is the conduit for development—but I adore showing how the physical can help people who struggle to communicate emotions too complex for words.

I don’t usually read for Din, as most people know—but I do enjoy reading the type of work that Stitches is. Human, damaged—but still with an undercurrent of hope that makes me think of children’s books.

You said, “much like writing today, I answered myself.” Could you talk about that in relation to Stitches?

So, I’m endlessly curious, it has to be said. Especially about why people are the way they are. Why people do A instead of B. Why X person’s immediate thought went to this place instead of that place. And I’m rarely satisfied with superficial explanations. One of the most exciting parts of writing and fanfiction especially, is making sense of that why. There can be countless explanations, some that are content with what is seen on the surface and some that go deep and some that go even deeper still.

Stitches is almost a – very long winded and much too long – answer to the questions I was so intrigued by about Din Djarin, about the Mandalorian and about the Star Wars universe as a whole. I often wondered what happened to people after the Rebellion, the normal people who fought—the people in the background. What did they do next? Did some of them suffer from PTSD? What was the galaxy like right after the Empire fell? That first season of the Mandalorian answered some of those questions, but I wanted to know more. So, I created a reader insert who was a combat medic—and through her, I let myself answer the questions of what happened next.

Regarding Din as a character, I wanted to know what a bounty hunter with a code of honour would do in certain situations—what made him tick, what made hm vulnerable. I wanted to explore the discovery of his identity. Din Djarin didn’t exist after he was taken from Aq Vetina. He became a cog in a very efficient machine of Mandalorians—and it was safe there. I wanted to see what – or who – might encourage him to step into his own. Grogu was that person in a familial sense, but what about romantically? What about individually? There’s so much to explore with this man! So many facets of personality and nuances of character that make him so gorgeous to write and think about.

Talk to me about the Din Djarin Athletic Universe. How does Din as all of these forms of athlete play off who you see him as in canon?

The Athletic Universe! How I adore my athletes. Despite being in a modern setting, I have kept the core of Din’s character in each of them (at least I hope I have!). I like to divide Din’s character into three phases when it comes to canon because he’s not as immovable as people seem to think he is. We discussed this before, how I see Din as a water element—adaptable, but strong enough that he can be as steadfast as rock. But I digress, the first phase is the character we see in the first episode. Basically, before Grogu. There’s an aggressive brutality to Din when we see him bounty hunting. He works on autopilot and isn’t swayed by sob stories or promises. He has the covert but is ultimately separate. Those soft feelings he comes to recognise when he has Grogu are dormant – not non-existent – but they haven’t been nurtured or encouraged. This is the point I extracted Boxer!Din’s personality and story from.

Cyclist!Din on the other hand—is already a father, a biological father to Grogu. And his personality, I took from that moment in the finale of Season two where I believe Din’s transformative arc of character solidified. He was always a father to Grogu, but I do believe that moment where he removes his helmet is the moment, he accepts that role fully in his heart and mind. And that is why I don’t believe for a second, that removing his helmet was him breaking his Creed. In fact, I believe it was the purest act he could do in devotion to his Creed—to his foundling, to his son. The Cyclist!AU is very much the character I see canon Din having should Grogu have stayed with him. This single dad who isn’t quite sure how he got to where he is now—but does anything and everything for his child without thought. It’s a natural instinct for him, and I like exploring those possibilities with Cyclist!Din.

You also said, “he has the covert but is ultimately separate.” What does it take for him — and you — to get to that point of being ‘not separate?’

I mentioned this above, but one of the biggest interests I have in Din as a character is his identity. He’s a Mandalorian, he’s a bounty hunter, he’s the child’s guardian but those are all what he is, not who. I think Din is separate while being part of the covert because he doesn’t know. I don’t think anyone can really be part of something if they don’t know who they are or, they struggle with their identity. It’s curious to me—how you can deceive even yourself to mimic the standard set for the many. In the boxer verse, he identifies himself in relation to his boxing—and every part of his outward personality exhibits those qualities. But when he’s given a softer touch—an outlet of affection, and comfort—we see the softer side of him surface. It’s very much the same with Stitches Din. Identity is like anything, emotions—relationships, bodies. It needs nurturing to thrive, an open door—a safe space. At least, that’s what goes through my mind when I think of him.

Who is your favorite character to read?

Frankie because there are so many ways his character can be interpreted and there are some stellar versions of him that I think of at least once a day. Javi because he reminds me of kintsugi-- golden recovery, broken pottery where the cracks are highlighted with gold. I also adore reading for Boba Fett, Paz Viszla and the clones!

Is there anything else you want your readers to know about you, your writing, or your creative process?

Hmm... only that I am quite literally a gremlin clown who is always here to chat Din, Star Wars, literature, book recs and anything else under the sun! I like to hear people's stories, their opinions etc. it helps me see things from alternative points of view and can truly help the writing process! Other than that, I think I can only thank readers for putting up with my ridiculously long chapters and rambling introspection. Thank you for indulging me always! ❤️

[meimi-haneoka]

Akiho Shinomoto - a manifesto of love

Despite becoming one of my favorite characters in the whole Cardcaptor Sakura franchise (and I would’ve never expected to love a new character this much), I realized I’ve never spent a long post for her, like the ones I did for SyaoSaku or for Tomoyo and Syaoran long time ago.

And there’s a lot to say, because Akiho Shinomoto is actually the first character who has introduced the concepts of evil and child abuse in Cardcaptor Sakura.

Something that wasn’t even remotely conceivable until (almost) 5 years ago.

Often considered boring and weak from the CCS fandom, Akiho actually harbors an immense strength inside of her, which goes mostly unnoticed to everyone, in-story friends included. Let’s see why.

Sentenced to death, for lack of magical powers

Once upon a time, a baby girl was born in a clan of powerful magicians, the most ancient of Europe. Clan members seemed happy and curious about the new entry to the family. They had great expectations about what magic she would develop, as everyone else in that family. At the ripe old age of 1 year and a half / 2 years, the baby girl was expected to show some signs of magic, but she had none. But hey, maybe she would become powerful later, let's pat her head and wait patiently. At that time, the Clan still showed some kind of "attention" for her.

But by the time the girl was around 6/7 years old, no fragment of magic appeared in her. Unacceptable. She's the daughter of two top rank magicians, in a clan of magic prodigies. Yet, she showed none of those gifts. They kept comparing her with some boy, living in a far away country, part of another famous magical clan. The girl suddenly held no more interest for her Clan. They actually started seeing her as a stain on their Clan's pride. Suddenly, the focus was all on how they could surpass the other rival clan. The girl was left all alone. A magicless member of the family is a member who doesn't even deserve being talked to. An interrogatory, at most. Who cares if the little girl wants to socialize, if she wants to play, if she's the only young person in that Clan, already without her parents who died so early on? The only thing this girl was good at was reading books, so all that's she's allowed to do. Not even playing with stuffed animals. For some reason, she's allowed to keep only ONE plushie, which is basically everything to her. But books and dolls can't fill that sinkhole she's already feeling at such young age.

Obsessed with this "anomaly", when she was about 2 years old, the Clan had the baby girl examined by a member of a Magic Association in England, known to be the den of shady magicians. A 8/9 year old bored magic genius, named “Yuna D.”, was her examiner. The boy said "She's like a blank book". The girl grew up, and the situation was still the same. The disapproving stares of her relatives cut the little girl’s heart like a sharp knife. They called her “worthless”, “useless”. They even doubted she could really be the daughter of her powerful parents. So what should they have done? Let the little girl live her life like any other regular human being, or taking literally the words of a BORED, EMOTIONALLY UNDEVELOPED CHILD who literally spat out the first thing that came to his mind?

Although the choice should’ve come easily for any normal human being with a functioning brain, they actually went in the other direction, greedy for power. And so, they decided to treat the girl like a tool, using her to store all kinds of magic for them to use. If she couldn’t be of any help to her clan with her capabilities, they would give her a purpose.

On some kind of altar, halfway between a lab rat and the sacrificing ritual of a sect, the most ancient Magicians of Europe together with the Magic Association performed a dangerous magic on her, which afterwards would take its toll even on the casters: they turned her into a magical artifact, capable of engraving in herself all the magical books she would encounter, transforming her de facto into a book herself. As if this wasn’t horrifying enough, this spell will progressively try to crush her soul and conscience, until it gets destroyed completely. So when the artifact will reach its limit, it will be the death of her, as a human being. Only a shell of her will remain. And judging by what was said later on in the story, they actually hope for her to lose her consciousness completely, so they can make use of her more easily.

Afterwards, they burned the book they took the ritual from, so the procedure would remain in their knowledge only. Greedy till the very last drop.

Once their perfect magical tool was achieved, turning a little girl into some sort of artifact, both the Clan and their accomplices couldn't stop bragging about it. The only positive words Akiho has ever received in her life by her people were after she was turned into a tool.

With a newly found purpose for that stain on their clan’s pride, they sent her away into the world to collect all the magic books she could find and write their powers into her, even though she was still just a child. For reasons still unknown, Yuna D., the boy who involuntarily caused this horrible ritual to happen and basically condemned her to death, offers himself to accompany her. The very first decision he took in his own life. That decision will change forever the course of their life, for both of them.

Rising from the ashes, towards a future of hope

Rehashing Akiho’s past is important to understand her personality and behavior fully. CLAMP, in the Clear Card manga, have portrayed the story of her past in a very peculiar way: it starts as any other fairytale, with light tones and cute designs. But as the story progresses, and the horror ensues, the tone of the tale changes, and so the drawing style too. It becomes serious, and “realistic” (ad opposed to the initial cutesy style). What started as a possible generic fairytale, turned into a real nightmare.

On top of being deprived of the love of her parents ever since she was born, because apparently they died right after, Akiho spent her early childhood in complete solitude. Those magicians who were supposed to be her remaining family were too absorbed into their own greed for power, to consider the needs of a baby girl. Not to mention that they had some kind of disgust for her, for being magicless. She was denied attention, cuddles, conversations, play activities, toys. She was denied love and care. All basic things that contribute to shape the personality and psychology of a person. Akiho grew up with the conviction that she wasn’t worth any of that, because no one gave it to her. One of the complaints I have seen the most about her in the fandom, is how she’s always so apologetic, to the point of becoming obnoxious. If you think about it, one of the most prominent characteristics of her personality is how she continuously apologizes to people, thanks them for any smallest thing, and is always, constantly seeking validation. 

But if you stop for a second to think about her past, you’ll realize with dismay that those are none other than symptoms of the abuse she suffered in the past. She was called “good for nothing” and “useless” by her clan and the Magic Association, and those words carved themselves into her heart, forever scarring it. Akiho grew up believing that she was really worthless and good for nothing just because she couldn’t meet the expectations of her clan, and it’s apparent when we see her considering herself “extremely clumsy”, even though we have afterwards seen that she’s perfectly capable of cooking, sewing, even playing sports. She only needs the dedication of someone who would teach her that.

With a disastrous psychological situation like this, one would naturally wonder how this girl didn’t commit anything extreme yet. Completely alone in the world, deemed useless. Unloved.

Books, books were her first lifeline. The fictional, magical, wonderful worlds depicted in those stories saved her sanity, making her dream about a better life, about friendship, about love. They taught her everything. They gave her the hope that those things existed out there, and maybe one day she would be blessed with them too. The fantastical characters kept her company when no one was there for her (yet). And she loves them viscerally for that, to the point of seeing herself mending damaged books in the future, as a possible occupation. Just like they mended her lacerated heart.

The second lifeline was her meeting with Kaito. Uncharacteristically to him, Kaito showed immediately a kind and interested behavior towards her. This was so shocking, so incredible that Akiho’s first reaction to his introduction was to run away. No one ever addressed her with the intention of having a conversation. No one was ever interested in what she was reading. Even just by this you can get a glimpse of how miserable her life had been till then. Full of psychological issues himself, thanks to the human connection Kaito gradually turned his attentions towards Akiho from contrieved mannerism, to genuine and sincere gestures. Akiho can feel that affection, even if her self-criticism always pushes her to believe that she’s nothing more than “job” to him. It’s something small, but what she’s experiencing with Kaito is her everything, and more than she’s ever had.

The third lifeline is Momo: Akiho doesn’t know, nor remotely imagines she’s actually a living magical creature. But she has been her constant presence ever since she was born. Her connection to her is special, and you can see it in their daily (one-sided, for now) interactions. Akiho talks to Momo, she greets her when she comes back home, she constantly carries her around, she thinks about giving her a little dress as a present. Momo is Akiho’s strength. The love this girl pours into what she believes is just a stuffed animal is incredible. It goes to show Akiho’s immense capacity to love something/someone without expecting anything in return, but actually just enjoying the simple presence and courage they give to her. If you think about it, it’s the very opposite of what she experienced with the only human interactions she’s ever had before Kaito came into the picture. Her aptitude to selfless love is also remarked between the lines in chapter 49, when Akiho is telling Sakura about her relationship with Kaito. Despite all the ugliness she went through, she’s still able to find in herself the strength to overcome all of it, and change her life for the better.

This certainly hasn’t been an easy or quick process, because in the flashbacks of her journey with Kaito we always see her with a pensive/serious look. It must have been extremely hard to start trusting others, when she had no one she could count on in her own home.

Akiho’s capacity to love and rise from the ashes of her terrible past has been so contagious, that it has started to affect Kaito too.  As Momo said in chapter 51, once you’re given the reason to change, no person can ever stay the same. This must have been true for Kaito, but certainly for Akiho too.

I’m absolutely positive that Akiho (and possibly, Kaito too) will be the symbol for one of the most important, beautiful messages in the whole Clear Card Arc: even if your life isn’t perfect, even if your past scarred you in multiple ways, there’s always hope. Hope to turn over a new leaf and change yourself for the better too, in the process. Overcome everything that had you stuck in pain and grief. Achieve what you always wished for.

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

I live for your shipping posts—who do you think is spicier Tom or Lucius? Who do you think a good pairing for either would be? (Or a terrible pairing, I’m fine hearing either). I know you like Tom/Lily how about Lucius/Lily? Haha

The first part answered in this post. The answer was shockingly Lucius, looking at fandom dynamics at any rate.

Though anon, I have to say, I find it hilarious that apparently this is the question we must know. So much so that it gets asked multiple times, "BUT WHO IS SPICIER?!"

But anyways, onto the rest of your post.

I'm not all that interested in Lucius, actually, so I can say I've spent 0 energy thinking on this. It's not quite as bad as asking me who I ship Umbridge with, but it's getting pretty close to that realm of, "Uh.... let me get back to you on that."

But this has been in my inbox forever so I guess I can try.

The Good Lucius Pairing

Narcissa? Their life becomes a dumpster fire in canon, they're awful awful racist people, but they seem to have a good marriage otherwise. I'm not particularly compelled by either of them but if I see it in a fic I shrug and go "Okay fic, I can buy that."

Bellatrix I just feel like would be hilarious, which could potentially make it great for entertainment value, but probably not for actual seriousness. The moment Lucius walks in on Bellatrix's sex dungeon, it's all over.

Snape would be.... a toxic mess of misery, I think, especially when they're younger and I would just see that as Lucius taking merciless advantage of Snape. Not to mention Lucius would then as an adult be cheating on Narcissa to have a miserable relationship with Snape on the sly.

Sleeping with Voldemort would bring us back to the Bellatrix route of hilariterrible. It'd be funny as hell, but Lucius would just have an awful time.

The Bad Lucius Pairing

Hermione/Lucius, Harry/Lucius, Neville/Lucius, Draco/Lucius, pick your poison, they all exist.

The worst I can think of though is probably Dobby/Lucius. I haven't seen this (I haven't looked for it) but that would just be.... hell on earth in a fanfiction form. Even if it's Dobby's BDSM revenge (though that would at least be very funny).

The Tom Pairings

I've talked about shipping and Tom enough on this blog, I think my answers are probably obvious.

The worst though... Tom Riddle/Transformed Werewolf. Yes, this fic exists, it's one of the most hilarious things I've read on the internet. And it is awful and wonderful. (To be fair, there are many many many awful pairings that can be created here, too many really. So I'll just leave it with this).

[lovee-infected]

Hello Geo-san, just read your post on Malleus's birthday. It says that his only relative is his grandmother and she still rules the Valley of Thorns. There are theories that his grandmother is none other than Maleficent herself. If that's the case, there are two options here, either she survived her encounter with Prince Phillip or the TW timeline is following the 2014 film. Where she's still alive and ruling the Moors, maybe renamed as the Valley, alongside with Aurora. We'll just wait and see.

I've actually been thinking about this myself, that was much of a shoking reveal!

Aside from revealing the fact that Malleus's parents are dead, this somehow dropped a bomb on "Maleficent being Malleus's grandmother theory"

The main discussion going over the fandom regarding the topic is whether his grandmother is Maleficent or not, which is a really important question!

As someone who strongly supported this theory before this reveal, I can't say I wouldn't be disappointed if Maleficent isn't actually his grandmother, but on the other hand, the possibility of her being Maleficent and still alive would face some strong contradictions in the story:

First off, let's flash back to where this theory begun in the first place:

In Malleus's personal chats, we can find Sebek complimenting Malleus's performance after the classes, telling him that he'd even surpass the witch of thorns herself one day!

Malleus immediately objects to it, saying his powers barely come close to his grandmother's.

Well, to think that they were actually talking about Maleficent but all of a sudden Malleus mentioned his grandmother instead, left us qith a great possibility of him being Maleficent's grandson, to the point that many, including me, considered this theory as canon! But now I highly doubt this theory, even though I wanted it to be confirmed true so much. But since we have more information to seriously discuss the matter right now, here are my thoughts whether this theory is still acceptable or not, which is mainly explaining what would happen if they're actually using the 2014 and 2019 live action movies as a reference:

1) Maleficent being alive would totally WRECK Silver's character development and design!

Come to think of it, there would be no Silver if Maleficent is still alive! Silver's twisted logo is the sword, and the one and only famous sword in the sleeping beauty classic AND the live action movie is the one which slayed Maleficent.

So... If Maleficent's still alive -> There hasn't ever been a sword which slayed her -> Silver doesn't have any special or specific symbol/ character which he is twisted from!

While his name might have something to do with the live action version, where they strongly used Silver to defeat Maleficent, it can also be referring to the fact that dark fairies would immediately be wounded if touched with Silver, which is most likely because of Yana's studies in the fae mythology field (Like how she chose ice cream as Malleus's favorite food since fairies love cream) which isn't necessarily bound to the live action version. But since the sword is Silver's most important role in the game, we can't really stick with the live action version because not only didn't we have any special swords in the live action version, but there also would be a big confusion if there hasn't ever been a sword which slayed Maleficent and Silver is twisted from!

In summary, I'd be honest and say this out loud: Maleficent HAS TO be dead because we need the Silver sword to exist somewhere in the story!!!

2) History of 'Classic Maleficent' vs 'Live action Maleficent'

one of the main points which needs to be considered in this matter, is how different Classic Maleficent and Live action Maleficent are. Maleficent is the very first Disney live action to present a totally different face of a well-known Disney villain such as Maleficent, which also led to a considerable growth in both "Maleficent" and the classic version of "sleeping beauty"'s popularity at the same time! But while 2014's Maleficent was an absolutely amazing movie (to at least) and nearly turned Maleficent into the most beloved villain of Disney's history, the live action (especially the 2019 version) received some strict critiques regarding how they pictured Maleficent: Many of the fans were familiar and attached to the original Maleficent, the mistress of all evil who had control over the powers of hell itself. A REAL villain and an absolutely perfect one. But the live action Maleficent wasn't meant to be a villain, the live action narrated a totally different story from what the classic was.

Though it didn't really lessen the movie's popularity, there were fans who begun to dislike this version of Maleficent after the 2019 version and their reason for disliking the movie actually made sense, the live action went TOO FAR with creating a second Maleficent, almost to the point of not being anything similar to the original, that strong villainous sense they were expecting to see in Maleficent had disappeared.

Now let's talk about twst, what is twst about? Villains. It's basically the world of villains. We need that evil, menacing and demonic sense of villains to be brought back to life through this twisted vessels, as it's confirmed that this school's students have villainous souls. From the Heartslabyul chapter till now, the Pomefiore chapter, his is all we've dealt with: Absolute villains. Each chapter is about a dorm leader (expect for Kalim) discovering and revealing their villainous spirits, which leads to an overblot. They want them to see just as evil and reckless as the original villains, which is why they put them into a mode such as overblot, where they're controlled by a puppet in the shape of one of the great seven.

Is such a story, where they need to make each of the main characters be as evil as possible, choosing live action Maleficent (who is a half villain, half hero character) not only is debatable but ia also a big contract to the previous chapters as they all followed the original villains' stories!

I guess we can all agree that Diasomnia's quite special compared to the rest of the dorms, but going as far as using a different source in character development and plot design compared to the rest of the characters and dorms seems to be a bit too much- I don't think Diasomnia's design and development is planned to be THAT different.

3) Key points about fhat has been officially mentioned in twst

Personal chats are VERY important to go through while doing a character analysis, they're such a wealthy and perfect source of information regarding each and every of the characters!

As for Diasomnia, each and every of the members mentioned something about the witch of thorns and her background, which directly leads us to how and who is the twst's Maleficent:

Lilia: Explains how Maleficent's Chronicles spent 16 years looking for a baby in a cradle -> This only happened in the classic! Live action Maleficent never sent any of her minions to look after aurora as she never had any!

Silver: Explains how the King of a well-known kingdom forgot to invite Maleficent and offended her with this, he wonders what kind of King would ever do such a disrespectful thing? -> Original Maleficent was offended and mad just because she wasn't invited, while the Live action Maleficent was betrayed by the King Stephan, Aurora's father who intentionally refused to invite Maleficent. Keep this in mind that Silver said forgetting to invite her, which is exactly what happened in the classic and King and Queen seriously forgot to invite Maleficent, not to intentionally avoid and decide to keep her away from baby Aurora like what happened in the live action.

Malleus: In his chats with Lilia, he mentions how The witch of thorns once invited the prince of as enemy Kingdom into her own castle -> This is again, something which only happened in the classic, referring to the scene where Maleficent captured prince Philip and imprisoned him inside her castle. Live action Maleficent didn't even have a castle to begin with, note that all she did was to take Phillip to Stephan's castle to give Aurora a chance to live.

Malleus: He explains how The Witch of thorns could turn into a dragon -> Live action Maleficent never turned into a dragon, she just once turned her crow, diaval, into a dragon (2014 ver.) and turned into a phoenix (2019 ver.). The only Maleficent which could and did transform into a dragon is the one we know from the sleeping beauty classic.

Hitting with the lighting: This is something Malleus is capable of doing, he both did this to Sebek back in the manga anthology and threatened Rook with it -> Again, this is something which the original Maleficent and herself only could do.

There are quite a few of other orginal Maleficent references you can find if you carefully go through the story and voice lines, but I'm not going to mention each and every of them because I believe I've already discussed this enough. Note that while there are tens of original Maleficent references in the story, there hasn't been anything mentioned about the live action Malleus so far expect for fan content and stuff.

Obviously, they're using Original Maleficent as the main reference. The question is whether they're using the live action too as a reference or not.

4) A summary + Existing debates

Aside from all of the current theories and headcanons, I guess this is all we can tell about the canon information revealed so far. But before we end, I'd like to add a few of small notes:

Lilia has never referred to the Witch of thorns as Queen of thorns, it's not quite specific to tell but it seems like Queen of thorns and Witch of thorns are indeed to different people.

But then again, why does Malleus bring his grandmother up in the middle of a discussion about Witch of thorns? Could it be that he just used her mother as an example since her too, is a very powerful magician but not exactly the witch of thorns herself, or...??

There hasn't been any information revealed regarding the great seven's current position in twisted wonderland's history, how long ago has their stories taken place? Could it be that some of them are still alive? Did their stories end just the same as orginal stories or did they decide to twist the endings as well?

The main reason why I think Maleficent cannot be alive now is not becuase she died in the original story, it's becuase of Silver, which has already been explained in part (1)!

At last, I'd like to add a final note to this piece: Even if the "Grandmother Maleficent" theory turns out to be wrong, many of the fans are already enjoying the eixisting fanon twst content which are using the live action as a reference! The most popular reference is probably with Malleus's back, where many artists decide to add two wounds on as a reference to what happened to Maleficent's wings in the live action. This is personally one of my FAVORITES and I just love it when artists draw the wounds, though the possibility of Malleus actually having wings is pretty low! We can almost call it impossible lol. The thing is, from how the story has gone so far we can assume that they aren't going to use the live action at all, but if they do, that'll be quite amazing and interesting to discuss!!

[berena-cpr]

Unfinished Masterpieces - Fic Rec List

Remember the WIP on ao3 you can’t let go? The one that resonated with you? The one that you’d give anything to know how it ends?

While the Berena Creative Project Resuscitation event is all about starting to work again on projects sitting in our draft folders, life can get in the way of finishing a project for a hundred reasons.

These works, posted, but still a few chapters short of ending, are loved though and with this list we’d like to share the love for the unfinished masterpieces one can find in the Berena tag on ao3.

Given the high response we had when we asked to tell us about your favourite WIPs, you’ll find the list under the cut:

Anything Else to Declare? - LittleMissO

“I've personally had sleeping issues since I read LittleMissO's Anything Else to Declare because yeah, I'm still there, breath held and heart pounding like crazy after the most delicious slow burn, and pining, and that outrageously flirtatious conversation over a whiskey.”

that line between your heart and mine - ktlsyrtis

“it is just plain hot but also I love the idea of them writing letters to each other and I also love the exploration of what their relationship might be like with Bernie still being in the RAMC.”

you disappear like your cigarette smoke (now the taste of your kiss is all that remains) - bonnissance

“A wonderful, emotional angst filled fic, looking at how Bernie’s life might still have progressed after Serena left. I loved how it showed her testing her own boundaries to see if it was possible to find another relationship with someone else and when she found that wasn’t something she could do, she accepted it and found other ways to be happy without Serena. I reread it fairly often because although unfinished it doesn’t ever seem incomplete. But the last word “Serena” always leaves me full of a hope that I would dearly love to have fulfilled.”

Secrets in the Dark - Wonko

“I’d love to see this continued!”

For a Good Time Call - Regency

“Young Serena using that pure sex voice of hers to make a little extra as a phone sex operative, and young nervous Bernie taking the first tentative steps in exploring her sexuality. Who better than Serena to help her figure things out? The premise of the fic is ingenious, the writing amazing, the dialogue just outstanding. Hot, sexy, soft and full of compassion and feels. I would sell a kidney to read the next chapter to this – Bernie and Serena meeting years later and recognising each other’s voices.”

you're the only one I never looked for - gutsandglitter

“Never expected I'd enjoy a Baby Boom AU, but I love this fic. Serena hanging out in the country feeling extremely overwhelmed and constantly running into this weird tall, awkward woman named Bernie is a mood. I will forever hold out hope for an update so that I can someday read about them having lots of sex (after an appropriate amount of angst, miscommunication, and unexpected grocery store encounters, of course).”

Things Kayryn doesn't write - Kayryn

“So they’re not exactly unfinished, because they are complete, beautifully crafted, amazingly inventive, head canons, but they’re not completed fic’s so I’m counting them. I actually think that’s one of the lovely things about them, there’s a full story in there but enough space in them to bring your own imagination to the details. The fact that every head canon is spot on and you can completely image it happening is the icing on the cake, and the perfect characterisation is the cherry on top. Canon could have taken lessons from from Kayryn”

I Want to be Your Fantasy (Maybe You Could Be Mine) - Regency

“I just love the concept and the first chapter just pulled me in and I so very much want to know what happens next.”

Notting Hill - Bat_and_Breakfast

“All the “Rom Com idiots in love but they don’t know it miscommunication capers” re-envisaged for Berena you say? Sign me up! I love the way the plot of Notting Hill is absolutely recognisable, but never at the expense of Bernie and Serena’s characters. Everything they do, their responses, the dialogue, is so them. And the cleverly cast Holby regulars as supporting stars - genius. It’s an absolute triumph of transformative work. It’s wonderfully and engagingly written. If you’ve ever got sucked into watching “just a bit” of rom com and found you’ve just lost a couple of hours of your life - this fic does the same thing.”

Follow Me There - troiing

“Full disclosure: I’ve never watched Sanctuary and I know nothing about the characters. But this crossover fic is so good, that it doesn’t even matter.”

hold me closer (tiny dancer) - serenacampbell

“I don’t know why I’m so attached to that fic, but I am. I love the premise of a slow burn fic where the characters still get to do sexy things during the awkward slow burn oblivious period. It’s like the best of both worlds.”

Machu Pechinku - Jrnsaxa

“Forget France and Nepal, what if Serena spent her sabbatical in Peru? The setting in this is beautifully vivid, as is the the delicate ways in which Serena and Bernie start to reconnect after Elinor.”

Hello, Major - lesbianquill

“This is a near perfect Serena being fixated on Bernie in fatigues fic. The first chapter is very insightful, helping us to understand why Bernie might not be happy to accede to Serena’s small kink/obsession. That of course doesn’t last for too long because Bernie loves Serena and she loves having sex with Serena. It was offered as a smutty one shot, but then they rewarded us with an even smuttier second chapter and teased us with the news that a third chapter would be forthcoming. It never happened. Main reason for wishing it could be continued? I enjoy well-written smut.”

In the Spirit of Three Stars - alwayssomethingelse

“Bernie and Serena as Federation officers on Deep Space Nine. Oh, the potential!”

Anatomically Correct - phantomunmasked

“Bernie severely overcompensating for any possible awkwardness in their first time by ordering a mountain of sex toys is a premise that will always delight me. Every time I go back to this one, I ponder what their weekend away would bring with a big grin.”

The Clinic - RexWolfe

“Maybe it’s all the Bramwell we’ve been watching, but this one’s been on my mind lately. Can’t go wrong with a Victorian AU.”

a life in pictures - Regency

"I soooo want to see Serena maybe modelling for Bernie (or at least just how the date goes)”

working up a storm inside my head - sevtacular

“While this isn’t actually an unfinished fic in the sense of chapters missing, the prompt fic collection of Sev can always be added to as far as I’m concerned. Love what has been written so far, hope there will be new chapters with time.”

Body and Soul - ChalkHillBlue

“Possibly the weirdest AU idea ever, this body swap AU makes my brain go crazy with the possibilities every time I read it.”

When We Need One Another The Most - Whispersmummy

“I know this isn’t strictly Berena but it wouldn’t have been written if not for the Berena fandom who love most every conceivable way these two dorks might get together. Very well written (imo) and cleverly constructed fic. Lots and lots of angst and who doesn’t love angst? Only thing missing is a small amount of smut. (Yes I’m back there).”

Ring In The New - fiveroundsrapid

“Fics where Bernie comes to Holby before/during Adrienne’s illness are my kryptonite, and this one is so good!”

Holby One: A Star Wars AAU Story - elitryalittle

“Holby One is my favorite unfinished fic. It’s not just because I came to Berena via Star Wars (a bit of an unusual way, but here I am), but also because I can totally see Serena as a healer and Bernie as a Jedi knight. Kudos for their excellent knowledge of the SWU and this great idea of a crossover fic. I’d give them a limited edition “Looking for Leia” patch and a sticker if they’d finish it.”

to gaze at you, from afar (I sigh, I sigh, I sigh) - bonnissance

“The photographer/model AU you never knew you needed in your life, but you really, really do.”

Heroic Endeavor - Nicolaruth27

“I never would’ve thought I’d be down for a Greek god AU, but this fic has permanent residence in a corner of my brain. Bernie as Athena in mortal form is inspired, and the way the fic is interwoven with canon is a delight.”

what a lovely way to burn - ktlsyrtis

“I just love anything that's weaved into canon but with them being happy and dating and communicating."

Love, Unexpected - Igerna

“Bernie is still married to Marcus when she meets Serena during a conference. They immediately bond and keep in contact, sharing both professional advice and thoughts on their private lives. Love, for them, happens rather unexpectedly. I do love conference fics and slow burns - and this is a good one.”

a little less war torn - kitnkabootle

“The setup for this - in which Serena is the one who goes to help when Bernie is brought to Holby, instead of Raf - is one of my favorite ‘what ifs’ to ponder, and the writing is outstanding.”

[spasmsofthought]

clean slate. (zuko x reader)

(Thank Netflix and some feelings for my favorite ATLA character for this piece. I’ve never fallen asleep to this fandom, but now I can stream the whole series and not have to worry about changing discs [score!]. I hope I did Zuko some justice here. Also, I haven’t watched The Legend of Korra - so I can’t speak to anything that is written in that story or canon. I base my writing only off of ATLA. Obviously I’m breaking away from Mai x Zuko - and thus breaking away from canon in some ways - as shipped and beloved as they can be.)

(ALSO - any guesses to where this OC could be from? I had some ideas while writing, but leave a comment with your idea below!) 

-

There’s this way he gets when he’s remembering what his life was like before. 

Zuko has always been a solitary figure. 

Being the Crown Prince (and an exiled one, at that) carries responsibilities few know about. His shoulders have always been strong, but they also have always been rigid. 

Most don’t even take into account the trauma that comes with being abused by your father and tormented by your psychotic sister. Not to mention wondering if your mother is alive after being banished from the Fire Nation as a traitor. 

You always like to think of Iroh as Zuko’s saving grace. 

There is a kindness to Zuko’s face that was lost in all the pain and anger before. When he smiles, it is gentler and softer. 

Like some of the hardness that had been burned into him has transformed from hardened steel to a molten one. It’s still there, but it’s constantly being heated and warmed and molded instead of sitting there in his chest like a stone . 

He’s living and breathing his firebending instead of just trying to produce or control it. 

His time hunting down, and subsequently joining, Avatar Aang had changed him in ways you’re only beginning to understand. 

You can tell he’s not really reading the scrolls he has laid out on the table before him. He sits still but his mind is anywhere but in the present moment. You don’t know what it is that has him so far away. 

Is it that people expect him to retreat to Ember Island sometime in the near future? 

Is it that his father and sister rot in jail while he sits on the throne? 

Cruel memories from his childhood? 

The worries of his mother’s banishment and where she was now if she was actually alive? 

Marriage? Children? (He’s young, but it still doesn’t stop the council of government officials and generals from asking and pressuring him.) 

You had never been a mind reader, and even less so concerning Zuko.  Sometimes he wore his reputation for being temperamental well, though his moments had become rarer and rarer since joining the Avatar and becoming friends with him and his group. 

He was balanced now, but there were moments you could tell his own triggers tipped the scale. 

Be it happenstance or fate or whatever people would like to call it, there was a reason you were in his life now as compared to the minuscule role you would have been given any moment earlier. 

Your hands cover the material written on the scroll (probably important state business he’s supposed to take care of - he is Fire Lord after all) as you sit down across from him. 

The table is long but not very wide, which makes this easier than it would be had Zuko been more difficult and chosen one of those wider study desks he was fond of when he actually wanted to get things done. 

“You’re not even reading,” You begin softly. It takes a minute for him to come back from whatever time and place he was in and he just sighs. His hands stay in his lap, but his eyes meet yours. 

They are amber in color, but rich and deep and warm in substance. 

When you used to get a glimpse at them, from a distance, it was like they burned you, like if he stared long enough his eyes could leave a scar, too. Now it’s more like they hold life and passion  and light instead of destruction and anger. 

“You can talk to me.” He knows this, despite how many times you say it. Sometimes the words are painful, sometimes they bring him comfort. Either way, struggling is in Zuko’s nature. 

Nothing seems to come easy for him, even when peace among the four nations has been declared and his birthright has been restored to him. 

Several moments are spent in silence as he breathes in and out, trying to gather the right words (that’s been a struggle for him, too, at times).

“How can I be a leader if I can’t be a really good one?” 

It takes a moment for you to digest the meaning of his words. It’s less about being a good leader and more about not being like his father. Despite the fact that he’s already announced this new era to be one of peace and love and unity, his deepest and darkest doubts plague him.  Would he be the kind of leader he was if they didn’t though? 

He doesn’t talk about them very often, but there are times, like now, where he’ll let his guard down and be honest with you. 

You wish there were some way you could bear his burdens for him; to tell him that his father’s leadership does not have to affect his own. You wish you could tell him he is the one who holds all the choices and possibilities in his hands. You lean forward on your elbows, minimizing the distance between the two of you slightly. 

“Listen to me,” His eyes flicker from yours to spots around the ornate room. Back and forth they flit. “Zuko, the fact that you’re asking that question proves to me that you’re already a better Fire Lord than your father.” 

“But how can you-” 

“Look at me,” You say as you grab his face. One hand rests on his scarred cheek while the other holds the opposite side of his face. He doesn’t flinch when you touch it, he hasn’t for some time. “I can’t convince you of yourself. That’s not why I’m here. But I want to let you know, even though you may doubt my words now, your genetics do not shape what kind of leader you are and the leader you will become. That’s only your decision.” 

He looks at you like he doesn’t quite believe you, and you don’t expect him to. His self-reflection can be a gift, but it can also be a curse. His shoulders sag like his thoughts weigh more than he’s let on. 

“Who makes your decisions for you, Zuko?” 

“What?” He asks incredulously. You almost smile because he looks so bewildered. 

“Who is the person that makes your decisions for you?” 

“What are you talking about? I make my own decisions.” He looks at you like you’ve gone crazy. 

You let his statement sit in the air as you get up from your position across the table and walk around to sit next to him. He turns so that he meets your gaze head-on. You can see his words running through his head, though you know they’ll take a lifetime to actually make complete sense. 

“Exactly,” Your hands weave their way to the back of his neck. You curse whoever made it tradition for Fire Lords to put their hair up in a topknot for formal dress code. You know the importance of it in Fire Nation culture, but there are some days you wish you could see him working with his hair down. It would certainly provide you with more opportunities to distract him. “You get to decide exactly what kind of leader you are and are going to be. No one else is in your head except you.” 

The corner of his lips quirk up. You can tell it hasn’t quite sunk in all the way yet, but it’s gone deep enough to ward off his doubts for now. There is a glimmer in his eyes that tells you he believes your words as much as he can in this moment. 

It’s all you can ask for. 

His forehead comes to press against yours. He’s not one for public displays of affection while working or in his formal wear, but there are spaces in time like these where he decides to make an exception. You close your eyes and breathe out a sigh of contentment, simply happy to be in the present moment with him. 

It’s his version of saying thank you to you. 

His lips press to yours softly and you hold him to yourself longer than would be proper if there were others in the room with you. But there isn’t. 

He tilts his head back and catches a breath, but you chase his mouth to grab a quick second kiss. 

All of this makes all the rest of the hullabaloo that you have to deal with worth it. He has always been worth it. 

When you part, you smile at him as you turn his head back towards the scrolls on the table.  

“Now get reading, Fire Lord Zuko.”