#(( literal embodiment of death? meh whatever. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

smokeybrandreviews · 4 years ago

Text

F*ck Batman

After i finished the first season of His Dark Materials, i figured i might as well check out the other shows I've heard are good but were behind some ridiculous paywall i had no interest overcoming. There were a few candidates, Euphoria and Chernobyl were definitely at the top of that list but i wanted something a little lighter, a little more fantastical so i opted to check out Titans. I’m not a DC dude but my people who are, say this thing is pretty okay. I wanted to see for myself so i ran threw both seasons. I ain’t like. I was entertained but i can’t say I'm fan. There is merit to this show and it might get it’s sh*t together enough going into that third season, also getting that HBO money, but i was left wanting. However, upon my viewing, i noticed some things. This isn’t a review, but more sh*t that made an impression.

I really, really, liked this version of Raven. The youngster they got to portray her, Teagan Croft, is perfect in the role. I absolutely loved every second onscreen, even if that whole “I’m terrified of my powers” arc lasted WAY too long.

How the f*ck was Trigon the very first big bad? How you blow your load that fast? That’s like the DCEU going from zero to Doomsday in two movies. The f*ck?

Speaking of Trigon, those effects were awful. This show really needed that infusion of HBO/ATT money because whoa.

And as if to drive my point home even further, f*cking Dr. Light’s costume is mad terrible. Like, the worst. None of the costumes are really any good, except for Donna Troy’s and kind of Nightwing’s? The rest are high end cosplay at best.

Trigon to Deathstroke? For real? Whatever, bro.

Didn’t expect Ravager so soon. Absolutely love that Ravager is here. Chelsea Zhang is mad dope and embodies the character perfectly. She’s snarky, cunning, violent, and every bit the Rose Wilson i expect.

Surprised to see the Atomic Family in anything, ever. That sh*t was a super-deep cut. I had to look that sh*t up to make sure i was seeing what i was seeing.

Papa Dick is the best Dick.

The guy who plays Jason Todd has a weird f*cking face and it wigs me out every time he’s onscreen.

The music in this show is pretty bloody excellent. I kind of feel like that's where all of the budget went because, goddamn, there are some bops in this thing, for sure. That opening theme is f*cking ridiculous!

What the f*ck is going on with Hawk and Dove? They’re metahumans, literally the personification of war and peace. Who the f*ck greenlit these versions? They’re both just assholes in hockey pads with debilitating anger issues. Sh*t whack son.

Also, Hawk dick don’t work.

And Dove wants the Dick dick.

Lots of filler episodes, man. It feels like I'm watching an old anime from the Nineties.

Starfire took an entire season to grow on me. Anna Diop, the chick who plays her, was awful in at the start of the show but she got much better toward the end. She really came into her own, though, the second they teamed her up with Donna. They have great chemistry together.

Lots of wholesale murder, man. Like, so much murder. Constant stream of bodies, on both sides of the conflict. Sh*t is wild. I don't understand how Supes exist in this world, catching bodies like it's a baseball game out there. Bunch of f*cking costumed psychopaths just out in the streets, brutalizing people to death.

Show suffers from that “too many villains” thing. Just in the second season, you start with Trigon, move on to Doctor Light, then Deathstroke shows up, but the ultimate bad is CADMUS shenanigans. Also, Rachel is still doing her weird demon sh*t on the side, too.

I like Donna as much as i like Raven. Conor Leslie was chef kiss level casting. Also, i mean, she’s gorgeous.

I like the level of diversity in this cast. Lots of representation onscreen. Kind of wish there were more black folks, though.

Lots of melodrama. So much forced melodrama. I get that this is a teeny drama like experience but too much is too much, you know? I can only take so much teenage angst before i completely disconnect.

Titans is a decent watch, not really a decent show. it’s kind of all over the place but i understand the intent. I’m not super into all of the edgy, grimdark, reimaginings and this show has a REAL bad case of that but there are a lot of good ideas in it. I’m not a DC guy so this was a hard sell for me and the pitch was good, but not good enough. I imagine fans of the comics or the old cartoon show might like this take but, for me? Meh.

#Titans #DC #DC Comics

4 notes · View notes

smokeybrand · 4 years ago

Text

F*ck Batman

How the f*ck was Trigon the very first big bad? How you blow your load that fast? That’s like the DCEU going from zero to Doomsday in two movies. The f*ck?

Speaking of Trigon, those effects were awful. This show really needed that infusion of HBO/ATT money because whoa.

Trigon to Deathstroke? For real? Whatever, bro.

Surprised to see the Atomic Family in anything, ever. That sh*t was a super-deep cut. I had to look that sh*t up to make sure i was seeing what i was seeing.

Papa Dick is the best Dick.

The guy who plays Jason Todd has a weird f*cking face and it wigs me out every time he’s onscreen.

Also, Hawk dick don’t work.

And Dove wants the Dick dick.

Lots of filler episodes, man. It feels like I'm watching an old anime from the Nineties.

I like Donna as much as i like Raven. Conor Leslie was chef kiss level casting. Also, i mean, she’s gorgeous.

I like the level of diversity in this cast. Lots of representation onscreen. Kind of wish there were more black folks, though.

Lots of melodrama. So much forced melodrama. I get that this is a teeny drama like experience but too much is too much, you know? I can only take so much teenage angst before i completely disconnect.

0 notes

nimueriesa · 7 years ago

Note

TELL ME ABOUT GALAHAD, hows the relationship between sister & brother, what do you think about him, what do you want for them, TELL IT ALL TO ME ~~

ALWAYS ACCEPTING ┊ send me a topic, i’ll write a meta

@mactoism

This is going to be messy af, so please bear with me. lol Because, the truth of the matter is my ideal headcanon for Galahad and Nimue comes from a meshing of different reading materials and my own personal need to improve upon the things that MZB royally fucked up. Honestly, Galahad is more of an afterthought in the Mists of Avalon and a lot of his original accomplishments in other variations of the legends are diminished by the fuckery MZB pulls with the holy regalia and the actual impact of the grail on Camelot and court.

FIRST AND FOREMOST, one of the things I do actually like about MoA is that Galahad is just as sassy as a child as Nimue is, but it’s in a different way…which I feel is pretty reflective of how they’re both going to grow up. Galahad’s is a self-righteous attitude while Nimue’s is a defiant one. He follows the teachings of Father Griffin to the letter and he idolizes his father, so when Morgaine comes in with her paganry and her ‘I’m better than you’ vibe, he’s immediately on the defensive. And then you have Nimue who is constantly being punished for her ‘impertinence’ and told that everything she does is wrong/sinful, so she’s the one fighting the authority figures and searching for a new truth of her own.

Another thing I do actually enjoy from the book, is that Galahad is always calling Nimue a ‘silly girl’ because she cries when their father tries to hold her ( she didn’t recognize Lance btw, that’s how little he was in their lives ) and she’s always getting into trouble with Father Griffin and their mother. It’s not mean or spiteful, it’s just typical brotherly behavior — especially coming from someone who always minds authority and sees glory in what his sister finds cloistering. What matters is that years down the road, after they’ve been separated for well over a decade, he sees Morgaine and the first thing he can think to say is: ‘You’re the evil woman that stole my sister.’

I’m also very, very fond of the idea that they’re fraternal twins. ( Also the Sun and Moon comparisons, with Galahad being the golden sun and Nim being the silver moon. ) For starters, it just makes Lancelot an even bigger douchebag than what he already is to have impregnated the wife he hates two more times after their first drug induced romp in the hay. Like the first time, yeah you feel bad for him and yes it’s a horrible situation — but anything after that is just….meh. Especially given that he saddles Elaine with these kids and then just fucks off to do Lancelot type things in Lancelot type fashion.

BUT I’M ALSO fond of the idea of them being fraternal twins because of how their stories parallel one another. Both of them are just two poor kids paying for the sins of their parents and FUCKING DYING AS A RESULT! Nimue is the agreed upon price for Elaine to bag herself a Lancelot and Galahad is the one paying the price for Lancelot cheating with Gwenhwyfar in the first place bc now Lance is sullied and can’t achieve the grail. ( Again, this is meshing other facets of legend together for better storytelling than MoA ) But basically, Fate, Destiny, whatever are all HUGE DICKS to Nimue and Galahad.

So while Lancelot does as Lancelot pleases and Elaine punishes herself and everyone else from her massive Catholic Guilt, Nimue and Galahad are thrust onto their respective paths at an age where they don’t really have a choice in the matter. Galahad is isolated in a convent by nuns. Nimue is isolated in Avalon by priestesses of the faith. Galahad is taught to live a life devoted to Christ, and that he must make a great sacrifice for his faith. That it’s his destiny to achieve the Sangreal. Nimue is taught to live a life devoted to the Goddess, that she must make sacrifices for her faith. It’s her destiny to bring Avalon back to it’s former glory. BOTH of them are defined by their virginity for some ungodly fucking reason ; it’s the be all and end all component of both of their respective tales.

Did I mention that they both die for nothing? Have I talked about the fact that their deaths aren’t even made to be about them, but about literally everything but them? Have I talked about how both of them basically committed a form of suicide bc once their roles had been played out they had nothing else to live for, no identity save for their ‘great destinies’?

Anywho, I honestly believe that Galahad and Nimue love one another and probably understand each other better than anyone else despite their different religious paths. They’re definitely the closest out of the siblings, given that Gwennie ( and honestly fuck anyone who thinks it’s a great idea to name their child after the woman they wish was their wife ) is about five years younger than Nimue. They also balance one another out remarkably well. She tries to reinforce to him that it’s alright to go out and live his life, he tries to make her see that it’s alright to need someone. ( Even if neither of them follow their own damn advice. )

As children they were each other’s nighttime confidantes and in their later years, they’re the shoulder to lean on and the non-judgmental ear to talk to. They both embody the loyalty and sense of duty that Lancelot is applauded for but never followed through on. They see the pain and bitterness in one another that no one else can see, because they’re made of the same earth, molded from the same bit of clay. They get angry for one another where they can’t for themselves, they cheer on their triumphs and come bearing hot tea and long nights in after heartbreak or failure. In modern verses, she’s always trying to set him up on dates and he’s always intimidating tf out of the guys that try to make a conquest out of her.

Honestly speaking, I just want them to be happy? I don’t want them to die alone for a stupid cause that was never originally theirs. I want them to move somewhere far far away and live out a happy contented life with both the highs and lows that come with it so long as it’s their own doing. They deserve holidays together and laughter, those silly little moments that people tend to take for granted.

Point being: THEY DESERVE TO LIVE. THEY DESERVE A FUTURE OF THEIR OWN.

#mactoism #long post //#HC┊▌❝ ��ʰᵉ ᵘᶰᵈᵉʳˢᵗᵒᵒᵈ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ˢʰᵉ ʷᵃˢ ᵃ ᵖᵃʷᶰ ❞ ┊► ɢᴇɴᴇʀᴀʟ ᴛᴀɢ #HC┊▌❝ ˢʰᵉ ʷᵃˢ ᵃ ᶜʰᵃʳᵍᵉᵈ ᵛᵉˢˢᵉˡ ᵒᶠ ᵖᵒʷᵉʳ ❞ ┊► ᴍᴇᴛᴀ #( THIS GOT SO LONG AND I CUT OUT SO MUCH JFC )

9 notes · View notes

smokeybrandreviews · 7 years ago

Text

Smokey brand Movie Reviews: Marvel’s Revengers

This review is a few weeks in the making. I actually saw Thor: Ragnarok the day it came out but i wanted to wait to review it. I was curious how i would feel about it after seeing Justice League. The fact that the architect of Marvel’s Phase One was brought in to “fix” what Snyder had produced was kind of ill so i wanted to see if i could discern that Marvel flavor in DC’s flick better after taking in Thor and having time to ponder those aspects altogether. I opted to take in Ragnarok a second time today because i figured out that i liked it more than i liked Justice League. Even with all of the good in that flick; Flash, Wondy, the levity, Aquaman, Cyborg sort of, i just found myself watching a third tier Marvel outing. Like, i left thee theater feeling like i watched Avenger 3 and it was worse than Age Of Ultron. Ultron wasn’t great but it was decent ,JL wasn’t decent. After watching Ragnarok a second time, my initial reaction was justified For both films. Thor: Ragnarok is a great movie and Justice League is a pale imitation of what makes Ragnarok great. I might write a piece later comparing the two, elaborating on my i think JL to be such a hollow abstraction of Ragnarok, and the Marvel formula overall, but this little essay is going to be a straight review of Ragnarok. Spoilers: Is Gud. Go see that sh*t. Again. But first, can we just appreciate the utter bad ass beauty of Tessa Thompson?

Ol’ girl was goddamn outstanding in a movie full of outstanding and she did while being bad-ass, beautiful, and brilliant. Hats off, madame, hats off. Swag on fleek, as the kids say.

The Best

Tessa Thompson killed as Brunnhilde. And, yes, she has a name, not a number. She’s Brunnhilde the Valkyrie or just Valkyrie. and Tess OWNED that sh*t, manq!

Speaking of ownage, can we just stop and appreciate Hela? Cate Blanchett embodied this roll and i loved every minute of it. I’ve always loved Hela. I thought she never got her due in the comics, with the exceptions of some solid f*cking stories (check out little loki and Leah’s adventure or Ultimate Hela, off the top of my head) so to see such a prestigious actor take on such an iconic character with respect, understand, and general awesomeness was spectacular. She’s my second favorite MCU villain after Keaton’s Vulture and i mean the closet of seconds.

Speaking of my beautiful and deadly Hela, i like the liberties they took with her history here. Don’t misunderstand, 616 Hela will always have a special place in my heart by her cinema appearance, an amalgamation of Gor the God Butcher, Angela Odinsdottir, (yes, that’s Angela’s guv’ment name now) and Hela Lokisdottir, (lookit me using comic logic to discern Hela’s last name) i was pretty okay with how she turned out overall. I mean, come on, looking over that last clusterf*ck of words, you’d think the character, herself, would be a mess but she’s not. She’s just plain dope. Dope and hot. and deadly. Deadly, dope, and hot.

How can Jeff Goldblum not be at the top of this list with the other two standouts in this flick? Yo, anytime you add Ian Malcolm to anything, it’s immediately +5 for snark and +20 for tight. Jeff, with all his Goldblumisms, just makes everything better. He’s like cinema MSG!

I loved the diversity in this flick. Beautiful, black, female, lead that happens to not only best the “Lord of Thunder and God of Mischief but the hulk, too? Check. Female antagonist that is arguably the best antagonist Marvel has ever produced? Check. Bad ass warrior monk who can see anywhere into the universe and happens to be black, too? Check. Respect and reverence for the multi-cultures represented by the majority of the cast while not feeling like pandering or false SJW placation? Check. Visionary, Academy award nominated, director who happens to be half Maori out here throwing his big cinematic dick about all over Disney’s Marvelscape? Check. Marvel is getting this sh*t right in their films and while i think Homecoming did diversity better, Thor is a damn fine continuance in that direction.

This movie was beautiful. It was like walking into a Jack Kirby comic from the 70s. I half expected a f*cking Eternal or Celestial to jump out of the screen at me. I thought Doctor strange had a heavy visual aesthetic but Ragnarok definitely pressed it for that title.

The Better

Taika Waititi is getting much better at his craft. I can’t say this is a perfect movie but it’s a damn good one. There are still some pacing issues and some rather interest plot points from the previous outings **cough**JaneFosterandLadySif**cough** that were just glossed over but i think they tightened the narrative overall. a better example would be the sudden injection, and that’s what it felt like actually, of Hela. That was more than sudden and jarring. That sloppy execution set me off a little, i guess, and that’s on the direction.

But dat Soundtrack, tho!

Mark Ruffalo turns in another spectacular, scene stealing, performance as Bruce Banner. Cat is kind perfect for this role and it boggles my mind that it took three tries to get that right. Marvel is usually really good at casting.Go figure.

Chris Hemsworth and Tom Hiddleston turn in their best performances as the Odinson boys and i’m glad to see a little closure with their arc. Seeing Thor actually mature and Loki come full circle was awesome. As a older brother, i identified with their overall growth closely. It was adorable and brotherly. Also, did anyone else notice how hot Hiddles was in that suit. I’m not gay but goddamn, you gotta give the brotha his credit where it’s due. He wore the f*ck out of that ensemble!

It was dope to see Heimdall get some finally. Cat out here using the Bifrost key to just mow down nameless asshole zombie Asgardians while saving basically the entire world, single-handedly. I saw a meme that referred to him as black Jesus and i can’t imagine a better way to sum his character up. Apparently, Idris Elba does have a dope pair of sandals so, you know, that’s a thing.

The visuals on Sakarr were inspired. i adored the textures and lived in feel of that world. It felt like something Jeff Goldblum would lord over. Muspelheim was just as majestic as Niflheim from the original Thor.

But dat Thorforce, tho. I know it was lightning or thunder or whatever but that sh*t was the goddamn Thorforce, son. Please see Rune Thor or King Thor and get at me, bro.

The Good

The supporting cast was legit. I thought Korg and Miek were just the right amount of hilarious with the right amount of exposure. I wanted more but i wasn’t hurting that i didn’t get more, you know? I think a one-shot would be fun for those two.

The Visual effects were on point. Nothing looked unfinished and this was the first time we really gt a great look at The Hulk. That whole gladiator scene was epic as sh*t! i wish it were longer but, you know, WWH can swing back around and address that. I mean, i’d love to see how Doug bit the dust, particularly considering New Doug basically destabilized and overthrew the entire social system. Also, Fenrir was cool as sh*t.

The Hulk was dope. Like, as a character, dope. Seeing him come into his own over his two year imprisonment of Banner was awesome. I said this before and i’ll say it again, i needs that WWH movie now. How can you gloss over that two year period? The f*ck was he doing in that time? How dope was he while he was winning?? i need to know, Marvel! I NEED TO KNOW!!

Sir Anthony Hopkins and future Sir Benedict Cumberbatch showed up and did what they do. They were short cameos but their respective skill in their craft carried their respective screen presences effortlessly. I will miss Odin though. He was pretty legit anytime he was onscreen. And the chemistry he had with Hemsworth has gotten considerably better. Is a far cry from literally all of the complaints he had for kid when they made the first Thor flick, all those years ago. Growth is good, manq.

But dat Fenrir, tho.

The Eh

Where the f*ck was Sif? i loved Sif. Why she gone, bro? She obviously wasn’t killed by Hela cuz she was nowhere near Asgard so i assume she’s on Midgar or whatever so why no Sif? Not even a mention, you know? I’d say this was “Bad” but it was more a discomfort than a slight.

Hela’s return from and general machinations of her banishment/imprisonment was kind of swampy. It was never clear how Odin put her away or how she knew where he was when he died. I imagine Magic or f*cking Magnets or some sh*t but still. Shenanigans.

Hela sacked the Warriors Three like they were lunches. I thought that was ridiculous but whatever. They needed a way to portray Hela’s dopenesss but you’re telling me Thor or Heimdall didn’t mourn their bros? that sh*t was whack, son!

Karl Urban was okay as Scourge. Like, his introduction was dope. That little bit when Thor returned from Muspelheim was chill as sh*t but after that? Meh. Kid was kind of an irredeemable weenie and a total plot throw away. Hela didn’t need him for sh*t. Still, it’s good to see Bones branching out. Maybe this will get him enough clout to get Dredd Two made. I want my Judge Death goddamit!

The Verdict

I adored Ragnarok. I think it’s easily one of the better Marvel films out there. It’s effortlessly the second best of the Marvel films released this year (I give Homecoming that distinction because i’m a giant Spider-Man fanboy and Logan is technically a Fox property or that thing would DEFINITELY get the “Best of the year” nod) and has left the MCU in a very intriguing place. As a direct lead in to Infinity War, i am satisfied. Satisfied and, as the kids say, crazy thirsty for what’s next. Taika Waititi has elevated this franchise from the worst of the MCU into talks as part of the best with one movie and that’s a goddamn feat. While i feel like World War Hulk should have been it’s own film, it’s own movie, i’m less frustrated by it being just a part of Ragnorok’s overall vision. Taika’s execution of that vision was just so deftly executed, none of that felt tacked on. It never weighed down the overall plot or narrative.Besides, there’s a two year gap there. We can always go back and see how Hulk became The Champion with a prequel. or something. Anything to get my girl Tessa back on that MCU screen, ya dig? Ma looked good in them silvers and blues.

Overall, i thought this was a solid film. There are some pacing issues and a few shots were a bit jarring; i thought the sudden appearance of that Norway scene was a bit heavy handed, but Sir Anthony Hopkins kind of saved that situation a little bit. Watching that guy act is a goddamn blessing. At the end of the day, this was an amazing film that entertained, regaled, and endeared. I adore the additions of Tessa Thompson and Jeff Goldblum and hope we see more of them going forward. This was a diverse, brilliant, fun, entertaining, film that deserves all of the accolades it’s received as well as multiple viewings by the audience. It kind of sh*t’s all over Justice League so go see Ragnarok again instead.

0 notes

smokeybrand · 7 years ago

Text

Smokey brand Movie Review: Marvel’s Revengers

Ol’ girl was goddamn outstanding in a movie full of outstanding and she did while being bad-ass, beautiful, and brilliant. Hats off, madame, hats off. Swag on fleek, as the kids say.

The Best

Tessa Thompson killed as Brunnhilde. And, yes, she has a name, not a number. She’s Brunnhilde the Valkyrie or just Valkyrie. and Tess OWNED that sh*t, manq!

The Better

But dat Soundtrack, tho!

But dat Thorforce, tho. I know it was lightning or thunder or whatever but that sh*t was the goddamn Thorforce, son. Please see Rune Thor or King Thor and get at me, bro.

The Good

But dat Fenrir, tho.

The Eh

Hela sacked the Warriors Three like they were lunches. I thought that was ridiculous but whatever. They needed a way to portray Hela’s dopeness but you’re telling me Thor or Heimdall didn’t mourn their bros? that sh*t was whack, son!

Karl Urban as okay as Scourge. Like, his introduction was dope. That little bit when Thor returned from Muspelheim was chill as ch*ts but after that? Meh. Kid was kind of an irredeemable weenie and a total plot throw away. Hela didn’t need him for sh*t. Still, it’s good to see Bones branching out. Maybe this will get him enough clout to get Dredd Two made. I want my Judge Death goddamit!

The Verdict

1 note · View note