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miyagihawk · 4 years ago

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i don’t even know you anymore pt. 2 | eli “hawk” moskowitz x reader

part one

a/n: a lot of people wanted a part 2 so here it is!! some hawk redemption :)))

warnings: a bit of swearing, mentions of violence maybe

summary: after your bad breakup with hawk, he wants a second chance

word count: 1,547

It’s been months after you and Hawk split, and you could confidently say that you’ve moved on.

It wasn’t easy; his group kept ruthlessly attacking your friends. It was like he wanted to make your life a living hell.

After that horrible fight at Golf N Stuff, watching Demetri’s arm get broken compelled you to join Miyagi Do. You never wanted to feel helpless again when your friends are in trouble.

Karate helped you move on. You became confident with yourself and instead of focusing on your break up, your mind was on self improvement. Seeing Hawk stoop down to his lowest level also helped; you wanted to be better than him.

“What... the hell?” you gasped.

As your friends arrived at your lunch table, they looked like they got trampled by a zoo. They almost looked unrecognizable with the amount of bruises and cuts decorating their faces.

Sitting down painfully, Sam said, “It’s a bit of a long story.”

“Well tell me! What happened last night, you guys look insane! Are you okay?” you exclaimed, worried and protective about your friends. They all looked so worn down, not meeting your eyes.

Last night, Miguel and Sam were planning on inviting both Miyagi Do and Eagle Fang over to “combine forces” against Cobra Kai. But you felt sick, so you couldn’t make it.

Your mouth fell slightly open as another person came up to the table.

Him.

What is he doing here?

No one was answering you, but you couldn’t blame them, they probably had the worst night.

Ignoring Hawk’s gaze on you, you got up from your seat and walked around the table to Miguel. You grabbed his arm and he winced. “Sorry,” you apologized, leading him out of the cafeteria into the hallway.

“Miguel can you just tell me what happened last night, who did this to you? And why is he here? I couldn’t make it one time and this happened, god, you couldn’t have texted me or someth-”

“Y/N, Y/N please calm down,” Miguel placed his hands on your shoulders, and it was only then you realized how hard you were breathing.

“Look at you. Look at everyone,” you felt your eyes tearing up. You were angry and frustrated, at yourself for not being there. Maybe you couldn’t have done much, but you still could’ve helped.

“Hey, I’m okay, alright? Everyone’s fine, just relax,” he took a deep breath before continuing, “Cobra Kai came last night.”

“What? To Sam’s house? How did they even-”

Miguel cut you off before you could ramble again, “I don’t know. But they showed up and it was like the school fight part two. Don’t worry though, they look pretty bad too. And we won,” he smiled.

“So why is... he... with us?” You looked over his shoulder through the cafeteria entrance where Hawk sit awkwardly with your friends, looking out of place.

“He helped us Y/N. I know things between you guys didn’t go down so well but I do believe he wants to change,” Miguel explained.

You tried to imagine Hawk fighting alongside Sam and Demetri, but it felt wrong. He’s done too much damage and you don’t think you can forgive him for any of it. How could they forgive him?

“Look, I lost Eli to Hawk too. I was friends with both of them. So I know that he’s being genuine. He wants to be better,” Miguel tried to convince you, leading you back to the cafeteria with him. “He also still cares about you, Y/N. I think you were the main reason he left Cobra Kai.”

You didn’t say anything, you just pondered on his words.

Could that be true? Hawk still cares about you? Then why did he put you through all this? Why now would he leave Cobra Kai for you when you aren’t even together?

You sat back down at the table, head hurting from all the questions you want the answer to.

There he was, sitting across from you. The only one who could really give you the answers. But you acted like he wasn’t there.

The first practice with Miyagi Do, Eagle Fang, and a tiny bit of Cobra Kai had just been dismissed. It ended early because it started raining, and you were all outside.

It went well. It definitely felt good to have a full team and that one less rivalry was gone.

But there was still a lot of awkward tension between you and Hawk. You guys had carefully avoided each other; you were never less than 5 feet apart and when you accidentally made eye contact, you both looked away in a millesecond.

You said goodbye to your friends, putting up your hood over your head to prepare for your wet walk home.

You didn’t mind the rain, you actually loved it. But despite the Valley being known for its good weather, the winters were still harsh and frigid.

You hugged yourself with your arms as shivers shook your body. The sound of a car pulling up made you turn around; your first thought being that someone might kidnap you.

But the red car was familiar and you refrained from running away. The window was rolled down and Hawk’s face was revealed. “Y/N, what the fuck are you doing?”

“I’m walking home,” you say bluntly, and start continuing your walk. His car follows beside you, matching your pace.

“It’s cold as shit. Come on, I’ll give you a ride,” Hawk offered.

“No thanks,” you said, not even looking at him.

As you quickened your stride, you heard his car engine turn off and his door open then shut.

He caught up to you, grabbing your arm to stop you from walking. “Get in the car,” he demanded, and you just rolled your eyes.

“Why would I get in the car with you?” You laughed mockingly and he swallowed. Raindrops were falling on his eyelashes and he looked pretty, but you shook away the thought.

“Fuck, why are you so difficult. You’ll get sick, just come on,” he pulled you towards him, then without thinking your karate reflexes kick in and you hit him in the chest.

You almost feel bad, but he steps back, with an almost proud and amused smile. He thought it was cute.

“Why do you care?!” you raised your voice over the rain.

“Y/N I-”

“Why? You didn’t care for all of these months! Why now? You didn’t care when I wanted you to stop hurting people, why do you want to change now?” You bombarded him with all the questions that have been swirling around in your thoughts for days.

“I did care! I do care. I’m sorry, Y/N. I really am. Just please get in the car and we’ll talk about it,” Hawk pleaded, reaching out for you again, but you pull your arm away. His jaw clenched from your rejection.

“And I still loved you! Through it all! You broke Demetri’s arm, one of my best friends. He was your best friend too! And I still missed you! Do you know how horrible that feels?” you continued letting out your anger. All of the things you’ve wanted to say to him are spilling out of your mouth and you don’t even notice your tears.

His eyes were starting to brim with tears too, but you couldn’t tell if it was just the rain.

“I am sorry Y/N. For everything. I’ve never stopped fucking loving you and I missed you too. Like hell. I can’t take back what I did to Demetri but I’m trying, I’m trying to fix it,” he confessed, moving in closer to you.

“You’re a liar...” you hit him in the chest, but he didn’t budge. “You can’t say that... that you love me, you’re just a huge fucking liar!”

Before you could hit him again, he stopped your hands and put his arms around you. At first you tried to squirm out of his embrace, but eventually you gave in, letting out full sobs of heartbreak.

You missed this. His warmth and his soft skin. The way he rests his chin on the top of your head and how he rubs your back to soothe you. You hated the way you were just giving in, but you didn’t have it in yourself to pull away.

“You were right about all of it. I wasn’t myself,” he murmured into your hair. He missed holding you too, and he wondered how he went so long without doing so.

You looked up at him with your glassy eyes. His hair was drooping down from the mohawk because of the rain and he looked more like Eli.

The rain was still pouring down on both of you, but you had gotten used to it. Still in his arms, you were no longer shivering from the cold.

You lifted a hand up to place on his cheek, and you admire the kind blue eyes you’ve missed looking into.

You pushed your previous anger away and pressed your lips against his, revelling in the feeling of reuniting with your lover. You missed him so much. You got butterflies as you two moved together perfectly and he smiled against your lips.

“I never stopped loving you too, Eli.”

okay here’s a tag list for the people who wanted a part 2 :))) thank you so much for reading and feel free to send in any requests!

@rosiahills22 @sinicalh4wk @lina-lovebug @rudypankow-whore @miyagifang @blvxktvmmx @lulu-yuming @melinda-hargreeves @emmyboo019 @lllyyysss02

#cobra kai imagine #cobra kai x reader #cobra Kai #eli moskowitz imagine #eli moskowitz x y/n #cobra Kai x y/n #eli moskowitz x reader #eli moskowitz #hawk #hawk x reader #hawk imagine #hawk x y/n #hawk cobra Kai

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daggryet · 3 years ago

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I can’t wait for Sam to tell them all it’s because Ranboo helped kill Tommy. I can’t wait to see how that changes the way they feel.

Eret’s more focused on Michael than anything but they do care about Tommy, and he was like the first to forgive them iirc. That’s gotta mean something.

Techno’s not going to care very much I fear, since “Ranboo’s on his side and Tommy isn’t”, but there’s still a little care there and I wonder how that’s going to affect things.

And Tubbo… well, we all know how much this is gonna affect him.

I’m so excited!!

look, i still want him to die, but if he tells the reason c!ranboo was locked in the prison right before he dies, leaving them behind trying to understand what's happened; i'd go insane.

i don't think c!techno's gonna care Too Much? like, it depends on where they're going with c!bedrock bros. we've had c!techno not care about what c!ranboo confessed to doing before, we have c!techno laughing at c!tommy's death, but we also have c!techno's "oh" after getting c!tommy's death confirmed and the will.

c!eret looks at saving michael as his redemption, but he does also care about c!ranboo; would be interesting to see how a former traitor took the news of avenging another traitor.

#ask #anon

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dreamteamspace · 4 years ago

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They really went there huh

/rp (good lord I rly hyperfixated on this essay huh)

torture tw, abuse tw, manipulation tw, gaslighting tw

So the Dream SMP built a character, once maybe morally gray, who slipped straight into villany with little to no desire to change, and willing to cause a LOT of pain to get his way. Despite this, he doesn’t question what he does enough to stop, justifying his actions with a good intent that doesn’t come close to justifying what he’s done.

C!Dream is unremorseful of what he’s done, he’s quite literally manipulated and gaslit (like actually, not in the way everyone keeps throwing the word around) c!Tommy, almost drove him to take his last life- like, jesus christ. That’s not even to mention blowing up L’Manburg three times, encouraging c!Wilbur, wanting the discs JUST to have power over c!Tommy, etc.

SO, he gets thrown in a box for it so he doesn’t hurt anybody anymore, making his own hubris his downfall (narrative consequence my beloved). This leads us to a good finale - the bad guy, the person who’s caused objectively the most pain and destruction, is now unable to do so anymore, taken down by the person whom he tried to weaken. It is also revealed he was planning on blackmailing and threatening pretty much everyone, but now everyone gets their stuff back.

Good, right?

Especially for the finale, yeah! The message of the finale is good, c!Tommy manages to escape his abuser with nothing more but his clothes on his back and fights his way back to c!Tubbo and his home.

He doesn’t let his trauma (which is still very present!) let him become a terrible person (arguably the way that c!Dream DID let his frustrations make him a terrible person, c!Tommy, despite bearing quite a heavy weight, recognizes when he begins to turn that way and actively works against it).

It shows that while alone, c!Tubbo and c!Tommy were outfought by Dream, but because c!Tommy went the length to ask for help (which he didn’t even really seem to be relying on actually showing up), he wins! It truly is a good message.

C!Tommy escapes his abuser and manipulator, refuses and fights his trauma to not become someone he doesn’t want to be, and defeats his abuser by asking for help and receiving it, even more than he thought he’d get. He refuses to play c!Dream’s “game”, refuses till the very last moment to let c!Tubbo die, to surrender and say goodbye to him.

So, great! Good finale! C!Dream The Villain is boxed like a fish in a prison of, quite literally, his own making. It sent a good message to people. C!Tommy wasn’t expected to forgive him and did, in fact, axe him down twice, causing c!Dream to finally fall from his high horse.

Most media would stop at this point, say the villain is now defeated and never show them again, or have them come back another one or two seasons later, escaped and seemingly unharmed and worse than ever.

Alternatively, there’s a throwaway line, (or, in good media, a genuine, reasonable backstory, complete with remorse and bad role models and complicated situations), that allows the villain to be redeemed.

In GOOD redemption arcs (See: Zuko from avatar tbh), the villain was already never quite as heartless, or stressed their good intent, or felt remorse for what they felt they “had to do”. Then, ideally, the villain takes a looooong time adjusting their habits, regretting their actions and changing until they’re considered redeemed.

Not on the Dream SMP, though.

They don’t stop at c!Dream’s defeat.

He doesn’t dissapear off-screen and is never spoken of again. His life continues on, everyone’s does, just like it would in reality. He doesn’t magically want to become a better person, far from it. So no redemption. But he doesn’t dissapear, either.

They go on to, slowly, stress how awful the conditions in Pandora’s Vault are. c!Bad says c!Dream should be imprisoned, but at least at slightly better conditions. We’re in very VERY morally gray territorry here. Nobody says c!Dream is a good person, of course not, but even c!Bad - who knows Dream was planning on keeping c!Skeppy in a cage to control him with - goes, “yeah, he should stay boxed, but does he really need to like... suffer suffer?”

Still, c!Dream seems to be kindof inconsistent in his behavior. Is he faking his pain? Is he not? His actions don’t fully make sense for either take. He acts differently to each person, but at the same time some things he does don’t make sense if he were just fishing for pity.

Then c!Sam admits to trying (and thinking he succeeded) to “break Dream’s will”, to quite literally starving him for weeks.

Okay, so now we’re a step further. C!Dream is now suffering even more, although already boxed and unable to hurt anyone. Pandora’s Vault is one thing, but now c!Sam just seems to be out for revenge and nothing more. Instead of spending his time with c!Tommy, he spends his time pickaxing(?) c!Dream.

C!Sam isn’t an angel, and we should all know that by now. He does what he thinks is right, but he’s deeper than that, all characters on the DSMP are.

He cares deeply for the Badlands, and would always choose them above anybody else. He’s a capitalist. He built the prison because it would benefit the Badlands resource-wise, despite knowing Dream would probably use it on his enemies, and it was no secret that ALL members of L’Manburg, especially c!Tommy, are his enemies. C!Sam, undoubtedly, knew that. He still built it.

Arguably, he didn’t know about c!Dream’s attachment obsession at the time, but the point still stands.

People have already latched onto the untold story happening between c!Dream and c!Sam, and frankly, we barely know enough about it. Does c!Sam torture him regularly? Do they talk? Does c!Dream try to verbally fight back? CAN he fight back? We don’t know! We’ve gotten proof for both, between c!Sam saying that c!Dream is terrifying even in prison and c!Dream going silent to go on strike. We don’t have enough of an idea how bad or how good it truly is.

So the people who prefer to humanize c!Dream and explore morality imagine c!Sam to downright torture him, people that prefer to see c!Dream as nothing but evil due to his actions imagine prison on the DSMP to not be equivalent to real life prison, and thus nowhere near as torturous as people are making it out to be.

Now all that is thrown out the window as c!Quackity quite literally tortures him.

So now the internet is faced with a question that, judging by some of the impulsive reactions *cough cough* celebrating torture *cough*, it didn’t turn out to be ready for.

Tell me.

How far do we go?

C!Dream hurt a LOT of people. He did a lot of things that caused irreparable damage. Now what? Do we torture him forever? Why? Because he deserves it? How do we determine that without comparing one kind of pain to another?

It’s custom and kindof generally respectful not to compare people’s pain too accurately, because different things vary greatly in severity depending on the person that experiences them.

At what point do we say he’s suffered enough without comparing exile to the prison?

And if we DO compare, does that even make the question easier to answer?

And if he’s never suffered enough ever, killing them would be a mercy...

At what point has a person done enough damage that they “deserve” to die? What if someone only did half of the things c!Dream did. But if c!Dream gets infinite punishment, and half of infinity is still infinity, do they ALSO deserve endless suffering?

Do you think every person that did something you can’t emphasize with deserves to suffer for eternity and die?

I’m not saying we SHOULD emphasize with c!Dream. He did things we cannot justify, that NOTHING can justify. He did things that were, by their nature, unjustified.

I’m also not saying anybody should forgive him. I think it’s a GOOD thing that c!Tommy doesn’t want nor is narratively pushed to forgive c!Dream.

But c!Dream doesn’t need c!Tommy’s forgiveness to be... a person.

There’s a saying that I’m sure you know, that goes “I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.”, because there’s things you wouldn’t want any human being to experience. Not because you like them, not cause you think they’re right, but because they’re human.

And perhaps this is my personal opinion, but I don’t think c!Dream being a bad person justifies dehumanizing him, because then we get into an area where someone needs to meet criteria just to be human.

I met someone once, whom, because of outside circumstances I knew I probably wouldn’t meet again. We’d been getting along just fine for people who just met, and were both getting into an interesting discussion about morality. They kept insisting upon something I kept refuting, so they said they needed to get something off their chest.

They proceeded to tell me that they had, years ago, while a teen, manipulated someone in a relationship, pushed boundaries and tried to convince them to do things they didn’t really want to do to get what they wanted.

They cried, while telling me, too terrified to tell anybody they know, terrified nobody would ever speak to them again, insanely regretful of their actions. They didn’t know whether to go back and apologize or just stay as far away as humanly possible, didn’t know which one the right thing to do is.

It had been years, by then, and I talked them through it. I said that what they did was bad, and there’s no going around that. But I also said what I saw, which is someone who would never do something like that ever again. I saw a human being. Someone who regrets a mistake they did and now, after enough time has passed, would do anything to make it undone.

Someone who is too terrified to be close to anybody in fear that they would do it again. I don’t remember if they already went to therapy or not, but it was definitly on the table, or in the near future.

They asked me how I could possibly even keep talking to them after they told me all that. They implied they felt like some kind of monster despite literally chocking back tears, firmly convinced they don’t deserve to be close to anybody in their life ever again.

I never swerved from the fact that what they did was wrong, and harmful. But I also told them they’re human. The universe isn’t keeping score. They want to be a better person now, and they were never going to learn how if they never let themselves be close to anybody.

I told them to seek therapy, and to slowly, carefully, try. Assured them that the fact that they regret it so strongly will at least help them in not falling back into the same pattern, and if they do, they can learn to recognize that.

They thanked me after the conversation, genuinely, especially for the fact that I didn’t sugarcoat what happened, because I know otherwise it would’ve felt like I was lying, like I was just sparing their feelings. I wasn’t. I was thinking about how to make sure they get to live without hurting anybody.

As per the circumstances, we didn’t speak again after that, which we knew basicly from the very start.

I still think about that conversation a lot.

Do you think they should’ve been locked up for life after it happened, instead?

Do you think this real human being, that I spoke to, that took years to realize their mistake - and never would have realized it if they hadn’t had the time to, if they’d been killed right afterwards - deserves to suffer forever?

Let me tell you something, from someone who’s been in more than one abusive situation: People that hurt you are human.

That doesn’t mean you have to forgive them. That doesn’t mean you have to like them. That doesn’t mean you have to make an effort to understand them. That doesn’t mean you need to go anywhere near them ever again.

You can hate them. You can be angry at them. You can (and should) go as far away from them as possible, and/or defend yourself.

But that doesn’t mean you have to dehumanize them.

You’re allowed to hate and dislike people that are human, because you’re human, especially if they hurt you. That’s how life is.

And to go back to my original point - c!Quackity torturing c!Dream is not something that should be celebrated.

There’s a difference between necessary measures (locking c!Dream up so he doesn’t hurt anyone), and torturing people for fun.

It’s not right. It’s never going to be right, and do not justify literal torture on human beings, and do not make someone lower-than-human to justify torturing them.

Taking revenge on someone for what they did tenfold is romanticized, I know, but I promise you it’s not actually as cool as it sounds.

#dreamwastaken #quackity #awesamdude #dream smp #dream smp analysis #dreamteamspace speaks #negativity #fandom critical #its finished and Im finally free #c!Dream #c!Quackity crit #c!Quackity critial

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burninghoneyatdusk · 2 years ago

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I’m so happy for you that you’re getting into new ships and writing for yourself!!

Yes, what I had in mind wasn’t exacly a prompt, but more of a headcanon and would love to see if it sounds interesting to you, if the bellarke mood strikes again or the premise strikes your fancy.

I was just listening to “The Bomb” in the new florence album, and thinking of a “And bodies hit the floor for you” bellarke in canon and going insane. yes, they have not only their own morality to think of, i bear it, so they don’t have to, but it does change you. makes you understand the lengths you’d go to, the things you’re capable of, so suddenly the range for what love determines widens. especially on the ground, where life is as it is. sometimes, the love will make you horrible and not regret it. especially for bellarke. where are the limits where they’d stop for each other? how far would you go, no matter how much you’d hate yourself? and how much would you have come to enjoy it? maybe not the violence/ distruction itself, but what it has come to mean to you - acting for the other. to enjoy your devotion and the ugly reality of it, accept it, be loved for it. it’s why they have to forgive each other. who we are and what we do to survive are not the same is a way of forgiveness, not a matter of fact. no matter how justified, you have to bear it. now, what i’m thinking of, is while i love that, i’d love some bellarke being horrible and loving each other for it. no redemptive debilitating guilt, no i understand why you had to. just. life is brutal and sometimes you’re a monster and someone just as mad loves you for it. and i’d love if it was bellamy being horrible. because, he will always forgive clarke, he will never not love her, no matter how horrible she is, i think. i love the fics in which he truly hates her, but just can’t make himself stick with it, it’s not sustainable :””) and if clarke were mad and this was dark(/-ish, if you want)! i can see bellamy so clearly like, getting swept up in admiration of her ferocity, but if bellamy went bad, gosh. clarke is darker, in a sense, i’d dream. she’d love him for his monster, specifically. and they both know it. and they both revel in it. i can almost taste it :””)) and well, if they both get to be horrible all the better, but maybe it’s too much.

Well fuck…this is so beautiful. Maybe YOU should take a crack at writing this 😉

I’ll be honest in that canon fic especially has never been my cup of tea, so this isn’t one I see myself writing. I really do love your exploration of unconditional love and devotion here 💙 I haven’t had a chance to listen to the entirety of the new album, but running to listen to that song now 🏃🏼‍♀️

I’ll post this in the tag in case any of the other amazing bellarke writers out there want to give this a shot. Writers - if you do write this idea, please credit the above anon with the prompt idea!

#bellarke #bellarke fanfiction #asks #anon

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universe-not-taken · 4 years ago

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What your Dream SMP Kin says about you, but I’m analyzing your trauma as well!

(Only a select few characters! Don’t see your kin? Send an ask i’ll analyze for you!)

Tommy: You’re loud, brash, and vibrant everyone loves you but also hates you at the same time, you get on people’s nerves but still know a way to keep everyone laughing. You feel like you always loose battles, and maybe it’s because you do, when you finally grasp something good you loose something else and you can’t figure out if it’s a curse or just your luck. You’re absolutely touch starved, please get a hug from somebody.

Tubbo: You’re intelligent, misunderstood, and you wear your heart on your sleeve, you’re most likely the mother friend of your group, but subtly, nobody ever asks you how you feel and you never talk about your problems until they come out in a big burst of sadness. You’re never thanked for your services to people and taken advantage of, you need to let go of the past and start cutting out toxic people in your life.

Wilbur: You have no idea what you’re doing and it shows, you’re following your heart but letting your mind make decisions. You’re bold, flashy, and maybe a little bit unhinged, you keep to the light side of things, joking even when you feel terrible, people rely on you to keep the energy up and the fight strong, you don’t know how much longer you can last before you shut down emotionally, maybe get a therapist or find someone to vent to.

Ghostbur: You’re sweet and forgiving, unless someone hurts your friend(s). You prefer not to remember what happened in your past but instead stay in the present keeping every moment to yourself, but you have trauma that needs to be resolved, you need someone to talk to, you need to keep your head out of the future, and focus on yourself and healing, healing isn’t easy but I believe in you.

Fundy: You’re insanely smart but never recognized for it, you’re hyper and fun, but you’re treated like you don’t know anything, you’re babied when you just want freedom and to be yourself instead of the light people you love paint you in. You want to go feral, you’re a follower and not a natural born leader, but you want to be. You need to get yourself out there, it might be hard, but you’ll get some well deserved praise.

Niki: You’re sweet, caring, brave, and often over looked and not paid much attention to, but as soon as you shine your light is blinding. You deserve some arson and also to go feral, you’re the obvious mother friend and everyone counts on you to keep them safe, people with parental issues gravitate towards you with no regard for your own mental stability, please start taking care of yourself too, you deserve the world.

Quackity: You’re funny, loud, and absolutely beautiful. You want someone to be proud of you and love you for who you are, everyone says you’re an attention seeker but truthfully you don’t get a lot for attention, you’ve had some abusive people in your life and can’t find a way to stop running into those people, saying every time “This’ll be different,”. You’re brave and strong for everything you’ve gone through and need someone who isn’t flashy but cares, and sometimes you need to learn to love yourself before others.

Schlatt: You have a lot of underlying problems, you’re lucky you’re a naturally powerful person. You’re funny without being loud and you need to back off from others, when you walk into a room people notice. Did your friends every really pay attention to you? You feel the need to attract attention and you do, so what now? You need lots of help and maybe some rehab, be strong, don’t break.

Ranboo: You want to be the best for everybody, you have no idea who you originally were from your changing for other people, you’re anxious and probably have a lot of self doubt, you don’t believe you can change anything. You’re sweet, brave, and doubtful, yet you hold onto that bit of hope every day and try to make sure other people feel that same hope. You need someone who is chill but cares about you and your health, never stop looking, and never stop hoping.

Technoblade: You’re quiet, strong, and intimidating. You have trouble opening up to people, and despite every single time you’ve been betrayed you’re willing to trust again, and that scares you, you have a heart under all that tough skin and armor, don’t ever forget that, you don’t know if it’s okay to release your emotions and that’s fine, take your time and make sure you talk to someone about that, open up, what’s the worst that could happen?

Philza: You’re trying your best and lots of people respect you for that, you’re calm and caring, but when you want you can be very scary, you’re always scared you aren’t doing enough, and you feel bad for everything you’ve neglected, You want someone to take care of you for once, because you take care of others so frequently it’s a second nature, you’re mental health is bad but just keep climbing that mountain of redemption, no matter how many boulders come tumbling down keep trying.

Sapnap: You want someone to notice you and praise you for your good and bad doings, you’ve lost a lot of friends and items of importance to you, you don’t know if you can last much longer, and it’s okay to break down, you’ve been through so much, maybe you should rest just this once. You’re funny, kind, and most likely an extrovert.

Dream: You’re scared someone will see through your mask, you’re scared of a lot of things, but it’s mostly losing your friends to other people, so you keep them close and safe, You’re intelligent, wise, and dangerous, you understand a lot of things much more than you should, you’re a natural trickster, but you’re also natural leader, you work your best under stress and that’s unhealthy, just tell your friends how much they mean to you, there’s no need to avoid them.

#dream smp #mcyt #kin #dreamwastaken #sapnap #philza #technoblade #ranboo #schlatt #quackity #nihachu #niki #fundy #ghostbur #wilbur soot #tubbo #tommyinnit #dreamsmp

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iguessitsjustme · 3 years ago

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Now that The Player is done, it’s time for one last character ranking, this time with added characters (also I’m on my phone right now and too lazy to look up some character names so sorrynotsorry)! In no particular order:

Tim - I was screaming all the way until the end. You ARE a good person and you don’t need to change. Having casual, consensual sex is in no way the same thing as sexually assaulting someone and I am angry that the show equated you to that and implied that what you did to Mim was on the same level. It was not. You don’t need to feel guilty for enjoying casual sex. And you were constantly and consistently worried about Mim and genuinely cared about her welfare. You are too good. I can’t believe you still don’t have your freaking house. 5 billion/10

Mim - I hate you. You are not the sympathetic character you think you are. You did nothing to earn your redemption. Yes, you were physically and sexually abused, but that did not excuse ANY of your behavior. The characters in the show may have forgotten that you 1)released someone else’s sex tape 2)blackmailed the entire world 3)faked a pregnancy and 4) stabbed yourself in the leg to fake a miscarriage, but I have not. You are not any better than Giwi. Giwi was incapable of loving Dan and you are incapable of loving Tin and letting him love you one sidedly like that is a horrible thing to do. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again: you’re past trauma does not entitle you to hurt other people and doesn’t excuse your treatment of others now. -8384738373738383737483927254849263728/10

Matt - I am indifferent to your whole character and arc at this point. I genuinely don’t believe you should have ended up with Pitch. Y’all were honestly terrible together. I need you to explain your insane chemistry with Tim though. Sir, explain that. I’m glad y’all are friends. That dance scene was the cutest scene I’ve ever witnessed and is the reason you’re getting a higher rating than I would have given you otherwise. 7/10

Tin - Tin baby nooooo. I need you to really look at Mim. Really see her and the choices she’s made. Is she worthy of all of the love you’ve given her? I’m still angry at you for treating Tim like a bad guy all because he *squints at notes* slept with Mim. You had potential to not be this way. Don’t worry though, I will be writing a fic to break you and Mim up and fix your character. I love you despite you being sucky. I can fix you though. And I will. 6/10

Fight - I want to take you out of this show and put you in a different one that is worthy of you. You are the only person who ever objectively looked at Mim and for that you win the entire show. God bless you sir. I’m sorry you got stuck with Tin. 100/10

Pitch - My boy. My guy. I could write essays on the complexity of your character. Are you a good person? Are you a bad person? Does your loyalty to your parents cause you to make questionable decisions? Are you an idiot? I love the bisexual representation you gave me though. Congrats on being so complicated and though I don’t particularly enjoy your storyline, you have a special place in my heart. 9/10

Pitch’s mom - Did anyone have Pitch’s mom bring the character with the best self-reflection and personal growth on their bingo card? No? Not anyone? Me neither. I am upset she wasn’t successful in her attempt to kill Mim, but she was willing to pay for her crime and she wanted nothing more than to protect her son. Ultimately she chose her love of her son over the family’s reputation. I can’t believe this is your rating but 10/10

Pitch’s dad - I have nothing to say to you, you pathetic excuse for a man. 0/10

Eve - Smartest character in the show. Literally did the thing that Tim should have done in the first place in order to get the house. She is WAY to forgiving of Mim though. If only she put any of that towards Tim. I understand that she doesn’t want a casual relationship with Tim is they date, but to hold his house hostage to force him to change himself for what she perceives as bad behavior isn’t great. There is nothing wrong with Tim. Stop treating him like he’s a bad person. He isn’t. But other than that you are perfect and wonderful and you deserves better. 9/10

Eve’s dad - Perfect. Flawless parental figure. I love you and wish you the best. 10/10

Eve’s stepdad - I forgave you a little when we learned that you had an understanding with Eve’s dad but you still need to work on your communication my dude. 7/10

Dan - I am surprised you weren’t killed earlier. I’m sad you died because you gave Giwi that one last chance and I’m sorry you fell in love with her. But you’re an idiot. I’m glad you made a contingency to take down Giwi should anything happen to you. I knew you would be the reason she fell but why’d you have to die to do it. You should have let Tim adopt you. 7/10

Mikey - You broke my heart. I am so sorry for everything you went through but I am so so happy you’re alive. Once again your rating is infinity/10

Giwi - Wonderful villain. The show handled your arc well. The trauma your mom gave you did not excuse your actions and I’m glad you were arrested. A shame Mikey didn’t kill you but I get why he didn’t. You were the person your mother shaped you to be and that’s why you suck. A+ villain. Very angry that you were the only person portrayed as a villain though. Mim was just as awful as you. You suck for killing Pin and I will hate you forever for killing Dan. 6/10

Giwi’s mom - the actual worst human being alive. -9738273738384889272929273/10

#the player #the player series #the player the series

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itsclydebitches · 4 years ago

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Is it me, or does Hazel die an unapologetic hypocrite? I don't think he ever changed his mind about blaming Ozpin for his sister's death, nor apologized for trying to kill and torture Oscar, did he?

Not to my recollection, no. His arc really doesn’t answer questions like what he thought Salem was going to do to the world beyond getting rid of huntsmen academies, why he’s presumably no longer interested in pursuing that, why he’d bother to listen to Ozpin long enough take him and Oscar to the relic at all — seriously, that could have just been a plan to waste the last question so Salem can’t have it (he even lets Oscar summon Jinn!!), or some half-baked idea to use her time-stopping abilities to escape — and the story certainly doesn’t grapple with the hypocrisy of Hazel trying to protect children... by torturing a child. I’ve always had problems with RWBY telling me I need to feel a particular way about a character purely because we’ve been told to feel that way. The story says, “Hazel has turned now. Don’t question why, he just has, and that makes him a hero” and... I need more from my redemption arcs than that. It’s the same with Emerald. Though RWBY did a decent job of setting up her hesitancy about working with Salem and gave her an easy out in the form of Oscar and Hazel already leaving, none of that explains why the characters trust her. “Helping Oscar escape proves she’s good now!” No, helping Oscar escape proves that Emerald is smart enough to snag like-minded allies when she also wants to escape. The closest the story gets to grappling with her villainy is having Yang point to one of the few things Emerald wasn’t directly responsible for (her arm) but the scene as a whole making it clear that her anger and mistrust (regardless of the examples she uses) is Too Angry and Mistrustful and should therefore be discarded. How dare you doubt the woman who has been trying to murder you for at least three years!

And that feeds back into Hazel who is presented as this tragic loss in the war against Salem, rather than the murdering, torturing hypocrite he was. Which, as I’ve mentioned in other posts, wouldn’t be a problem if RWBY had a blanket rule of treating everyone with that level of compassion... but it doesn’t. Ironwood is a struggling ally they abandon when he needs guidance the most, Ozpin they actively attacked despite seeing in high definition how not responsible he was for this mess, the idea that they might try to preserve some of Lionheart’s character post-death is outright rejected... it’s so weird to see these morally gray/heroic/formerly heroic characters treated with a No Compassion policy, but then when Hazel and Emerald come along — characters who have been trying to kill our characters for years; characters who have never been anything but villains in the eyes of the cast: never a beloved headmaster, never a respected authority figure, never an ally they worked beside for numerous months — and they get an insane level of blind trust, instant forgiveness, laughter and the beginnings of friendship. I’m not saying that characters like Ozpin, Ironwood, and Lionheart haven’t done incredibly messed up things (the latter two in particular), but imagine for a moment if, after shooting multiple people and threatening to bomb Mantle, Ironwood randomly decided to stop now and Ren told the group to trust him again because they can’t be ruled by their fear. And they do. If your reaction to that is, “That’s ridiculous. He’s killed people! Threatened so many more! He’s a bad guy now! How do they even know he’s telling the truth? That this isn’t a part of some plan he’s concocted. Aren’t they at least going to take some precautions around him?” then that’s my exact reaction to all of Volume 8 with Hazel and Emerald. After everything they’ve done, we didn’t get anywhere near the level of character work needed — let alone work that made any sense — to justify feeling anything over his death, or being excited for her inclusion in the group. (Beyond, of course, people who just like Emerald and are happy she’s here lol). It’s like RWBY doubles down on the characters who make arguably unforgivable, but still understandable mistakes... while giving free passes to the characters who are 100%, undeniable villains. As said, it’s weird.

#rwby #mymetas #Anonymous

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ghostbur69 · 4 years ago

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God daaaaaamn. The prison episode was really intense today. Despite Tommy’s efforts to fuck around during th entire process it just blew my mind how much Sam built up the prison. It’s literally insane. So fucking well put together and intimidating and then- Dream in that tiny little room staring at Tommy as he gets closer. And then they talk and Dream sounds tired but hopeful (probably becuase he wants to manipulate Tommy into letting him go early) until Tommy brings up George and then Dream gets angry (to the point of actually losing his cool and shouting for Sam to get rid of Tommy) and makes him leave.

I’m so very interested in Sapnap and George going to visit Dream in prison. Bro those are gonna be some heartbreaking streams... seeing them react to what C!Dream has to live with in prison. It’s unsettling enough for us as viewers, it’ll be even more unsettling when we have to watch their reactions.

Also I can’t help but wonder if Dream is gonna humor Tommy and fill out the books Tommy titled for him. (I’m curious how he’ll handle the last one Tommy titled about the younger side of his fan base dropping out of school and doing drugs)

Dream is really fucking good at playing the villain because cannonically he’s only been in his cell for a little over 24 hours and he still manages to make you feel bad for him. He still manipulates despite being in jail only now it’s us who start to feel bad (but obviously we can’t fall for that shit we saw what the green boy did).

Above all else though I’m very curious to see how they handle the ending of the storyline one day. Like will Dream die, will he change? Will they give him a redemption arc? (Idk how at this point they could make that work because of the message that would send to people about “oh they paid for thier crimes enough I should forgive them!” Idk man itll be interesting to see how they wrap it up, but hopefully that doesn’t happen for a long, long time because I’m having so much fun.

#dream smp #mcyt #tommyinnit #dreamwastaken #awesamdude

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sokkascroptop · 4 years ago

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traitor. (sokka x f!reader) pt 10

part 1 | part 9 | part 11

A/N: it only took 10 parts but....we have Sokka and Y/N interacting!! If you’ve read the atla comics this is inspired by “The Bridge”. If not, it doesn’t matter! This is just what happens after Aang is injured by Azula and before Season 3 episode 1

Everything about being on the boat made Y/N uncomfortable. She had fought with Katara and Aang in the crystal cave proudly, but now that she was out in the open and more people knew what she had done, she felt like an imposter. She still held the weight of regret high on her shoulders, especially now that she realized that no one was ever going to fully trust her. Nobody was going to trust someone who was willing to change sides in a war. She would always be a traitor whichever side she landed on.

“I told you Sokka, she helped Aang and I. She’s staying.” Y/N could tell Katara’s patience was waning. Two days aboard the Water Tribe ship and she had told her brother and the earthbender––Toph––what had happened in the catacombs four times, and yet Sokka was still persistent that Y/N needed to leave. The four of them were sitting below deck in the mess hall drinking tea from thick ceramic mugs. It was colder being on the water and Y/N was grateful for the warmth.

“Look, we can even be nice and give her one of the canoes!” Sokka countered. He gave Y/N a pointed look. “You know, as opposed to throwing you out of sea.”

Y/N nodded. “Yup, I caught that. Thank you.” Y/N really didn’t like that they were talking about her like she wasn’t sitting next to them.

“Snoozles, I think you need to give it a rest,” Toph said. She sipped out of her tea cup and pressed her knee into Y/N’s. The girl had either taken a quick liking to Y/N or she really liked to piss Sokka off, and Y/N guessed it was the latter.

Sokka ignored her. “We should leave it up to Dad whether we take her as a prisoner or not.”

“He has more important things to worry about, and so do I!” Katara yelled. She stood, nearly spilling her teacup. She pressed it into Sokka’s hands. “And she’s not a prisoner!” She left the room fuming, likely to go check on Aang who was unconscious in the healer’s room.

Y/N looked around the room awkwardly. “Does this boat even have, like a place to hold prisoners?”

Sokka glared at her.

“Yeah, so this is fun, but I’m going to go find anything else to do.” Toph moved to leave only to have Sokka pull her back down.

“I want to hear it again. From her, not Katara.”

Y/N couldn’t help but groan. “Again?”

“Why do you need me here?” Toph sat down again.

“Tell me if she’s lying.”

“She isn’t interested in lying to the people who are keeping her safe right now. I’m a fugitive,” Y/N said angrily. “I watched someone who I used to call my best friend nearly kill her uncle. I watched her become a person I didn’t recognize anymore because of this mission. Except,” Y/N turned her empty cup over in her hands. “I’m beginning to think she was always that person, and it wasn’t her that changed, it was me.”

“She’s not lying, Sokka.”

He didn’t look convinced. “Look, all I know is that the Fire Nation is full of evil people. You can’t just expect us to forgive you–”

“I don’t,” Y/N interrupted. “I know you’re mad. I can see the looks the crew gives me. I don’t expect forgiveness from anyone. I don’t even think I forgive myself yet,” she painfully admitted. “I just need redemption.”

What she had said didn’t look like it had convinced Sokka any and Toph’s expression was the same as it was before.

“Come on, let’s go for a walk on the deck, Toph.”

They left, and Y/N was alone. Y/N picked uncomfortably at the hem of the tunic Katara gave her to wear. The green pants were three inches too short when she bent her knees and the actual tunic was almost immodestly tight but it was the kindness that Katara showed her by giving them to Y/N, even if they were just some Earth Kingdom clothes she was given while she was in Ba Sing Se.

Y/N wandered below deck after leaving the mess hall. There wasn’t much to see, the ship wasn’t as large as a Fire Nation ship, just one hallway and a smattering of doors that she probably wasn’t allowed in. Ahead of her though, was a door that was cracked open; the healer’s room. Y/N peeked through the crack at Katara kneeling over Aang. She must have just finished a healing session with him, and she was muttering to herself.

“–have to get better.”

The boat rocked as it crested a wave and Y/N bumped into the door startling Katara. She lifted the water from the basin she was using and then immediately dropped it when she saw who it was.

Y/N, caught now, closed the door softly behind her. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.” She pretended not to see Katara blink tears out of her eyes.

“I was finished anyways.”

“How is he?” Y/N asked, unable to come up with anything else to say.

Katara looked back at him and Y/N followed her gaze. He looked like a little kid, not the all powerful Avatar she had seen a day ago.

“The same as before. Hey,” she pointed at Y/N’s head. “Do you want me to heal that cut some more?”

Y/N lightly traced the gash on her forehead that she’d received when her and Katara were thrown into the rocks by Zuko and Azula. It reached into her hairline and the only reason she let Katara use her healing powers at all was because it was still bleeding when they’d boarded the ship. She’d only had the energy after healing Aang to close it enough for it to stop bleeding.

“No, don’t worry about me.” Y/N smiled and left without another word, feeling like an intruder. She didn’t need any more hospitality from them.

---

There weren’t any spare hammocks on the ship for them so the four of them slept on the floor in the crew cabin. They laid out fur pelts underneath their sleeping bags to make it softer; and much like the night before, Y/N was in the middle between Katara and Toph, Sokka at their feet.

Y/N knew this arrangement was purposeful. They were still suspicious of her, and if she was surrounded by them she would have a harder time getting up and leaving. She wasn’t a prisoner, but she wasn’t free to roam either.

For the first time in a long time, she dreamt of home; of playing on the beaches and swimming in the warm ocean. She was happy and Y/N realized she hadn’t felt like that in a long time. She didn’t even mind when she was woken up by Toph kicking her in the shin the next morning.

“Come on, we need to go above deck.”

“Why?”

“They spotted a Fire Nation ship.”

Y/N had never pulled her boots on faster. She braided her hair on the way as they ran up the steps. It seemed like the whole crew was milling around the deck, muttering in small groups, all eyes turned to the east where a trail of black smoke announced the arrival of enemies.

Hakoda nodded at her as Y/N and Toph approached. He’d been just as cautious with Y/N as the rest of the crew, but nicer to her than his son. “Do you know what kind of ship that is?”

Y/N tied off her braid and threw it over her shoulder she squinted and leaned on the rail. “Looks kind of small, maybe a scouting ship?”

Hakoda hummed. “That means we’re going to be outnumbered fast.”

“We won’t be able to fight them, ‘Koda,” Bato warned. “And we can’t run, our sails are torn to shreds from our last fight with them.”

The two shared a look. Surely, they weren’t thinking of surrendering, were they?

Katara evidently thought the same. “We have to think about Aang, Dad. We can’t let the Fire Nation have him! We have to protect him.”

“We will! All we have to do is think of a plan.” Sokka seemed unusually happy for their situation.

Beside him, Toph punched his arm. “Alright, idea guy! Lay it on us.”

“If we can’t beat them, join them!” Sokka beamed.

Y/N let out a humorless laugh. “You can’t possibly be suggesting that we switch sides.”

“What, are you excited about seeing some of your Fire Nation buddies?” he asked, his voice was light, almost joking, but she could hear the accusation.

“Sokka!” Katara clenched her jaw.

He held up his hands. “Okay, okay, sorry!” He did not sound sorry. “What I meant is that we just switch boats.”

Katara, Bato and Hakoda stared at Sokka like he was insane. Toph gave him another punch on the arm. “That’s your plan?!”

Y/N on the other hand, nodded her head. “Huh.”

Hakoda looked at her like he was looking at Sokka moments ago. “You think that this could work?”

“Yeah, I do actually,” Everyone seemed surprised that she agreed with Sokka. Especially Sokka. “I mean, scouting ships have soldiers on them but they aren’t the best fighters and they don’t station firebenders on them. Their job low risk; just to scout out enemies and relay messages back to bigger ships. If we could find a way to sneak up on them it is very possible that you have enough warriors to take them out and steal the ship.”

Nobody had anything to say to that. Hakoda grabbed Sokka’s shoulder. “Alright, what’s the plan, son?”

---

Sink the fleet.

Y/N still couldn’t believe that this was Sokka’s “brilliant” idea. And she really couldn’t believe that Hakoda had let them go through with it.

Y/N looked back from her place at the front of the canoe to the smashed wooden ships behind them. The point was to make it look like the Water Tribe had already been beaten, so Katara and Toph had used their bending to flood and crush the ships. It was sad for her to watch it all happen, she couldn’t imagine what it was like for the warriors who had called the ships ‘home’ for years.

A sharp kick to the bench under her jerked her out of her thoughts. “Keep paddling! You’re making us turn the wrong way.”

Y/N put her oar back into the water and wondered how good it would feel if she just slipped a little and let her elbow fly back into Sokka’s nose. Just how cute would the Water Tribe boy be with two black eyes and a broken nose?

Y/N swallowed down her anger. “Oh shut up, I haven’t done this since I was nine.”

---

The Water Tribe had found a treeline to camp in for the night. At dusk the next day, they would attack the Fire Nation ship.

Y/N lay in the grass a few feet away from the Chief, Katara and Sokka and Toph, staring at the stars. She traced the constellations she knew with her eyes, she was just looking for ‘the dragon’ when the stars were blotted out with a figure standing over her.

“Come sit with us by the fire. It’s cold out.” Sokka crossed his arms.

Y/N shook her head and sat up. “Thanks, but I’m good.”

He dug the toe of his boot into the grass. “They won’t let me come back until I bring you.”

“Oh, that’s too bad.” Y/N smiled and flopped back onto her back. “Guess you won’t be eating dinner!”

Sokka raised an eyebrow. “Is this punishment for being mean to you?”

Y/N rolled her eyes. She could tell him that, yeah it probably was, but it wouldn’t be fair of her. Y/N was pretty sure he had a right to be mad with her for joining out of the blue.

“If you can be nice over dinner, I’ll go over there with you.” Y/N nodded towards the fire. Katara turned away quickly when she locked eyes with Y/N.

“Deal! I’m starving.” Sokka held a hand out to help her up. Whether it was because he was trying to be nice or force of habit, she accepted it and let him pull her to her feet.

They let go of each other quickly and didn’t look at each other on the walk over.

Turns out it was easy for Sokka to keep his promise because he ignored her the whole time and spent the entire meal chattering about the plan for tomorrow with his dad. It was fine with her, Y/N was more interested in Katara’s silence than anything. Anytime either of the men tried to talk to her she shut them down or snapped at her father.

She nudged Katara’s elbow. “Are you okay?”

She looked up from where she was scowling into her bowl of food. “Huh? Oh, yeah, I’m fine.”

Y/N nodded. Katara was lying but Y/N didn’t want to press. She could have been stressed about Aang who was still unconscious in the tent behind them. And if there was anything going on between her and her dad, it wasn’t Y/N’s place to meddle in, especially when her relationship with the Water Tribe was as precarious as it was. But something gnawed at the thought of leaving it completely alone. “Let me know. If you want to talk, or something.” Y/N shrugged noncommittally.

Katara didn’t say anything the rest of the night to her, not until they had snuggled into their sleeping bags around the dying fire and Sokka had already started snoring. Somehow, Katara knew Y/N was still awake.

“Thanks, Y/N.” She whispered the words so quietly that they could have been Y/N’s imagination. She figured out it was real when she opened her eyes to find Katara closing hers. Y/N smiled and tucked her head closer to her chest and fell asleep to the buzzing of cicada-bats in the trees.

---

The next day, Hakoda did something that surprised her. “Here.” He thrust Y/N’s sheathed sword under her nose. She was seated on a rock next to their smoldering fire, just hours before the Tribe planned on leaving to raid the Fire Nation ship. All around her, warriors were sharpening their swords and spears.

“Um, thank you?” Y/N hesitantly reached out for it, wondering if this was a trick. She had turned it over to him the moment she slid off of the Appa’s back. And to be completely honest, she wasn’t expecting to get it back at all.

“I want you to come with us.”

Y/N widened her eyes. No one had explicitly told her, she wasn't going, she just expected to be left behind. “Why?”

“I heard you can fight.”

Y/N wondered which sibling gave him that information because that could be a good or a bad thing. She lifted one shoulder in a small shrug. “A little.”

He chuckled. “I also heard of a few of my warriors making a bet on when you would turn on us.” He started to walk away. “Don’t make me lose silver to Bato because I think you’ll stick around.”

---

The only sound around was the soft lapping of water against the metal sides of the ship. Y/N’s heart began race and her muscles tensed in anticipation. She drummed her fingers on the side of the canoe, not able to keep still.

Behind her, Katara was less enthused about being brought along. “I should be with Aang, not here.” She muttered to Toph.

“Aang is going to be fine. And once we take this ship he’s going to have somewhere safe to recover.” Katara went silent.

As quiet as possible, the Water Tribe warriors scaled the side of the ship with grappling hooks and rope. Y/N could hear shouts of surprise come from the soldiers on the deck as they jumped over the railing.

When it was Y/N’s turn, she landed on the metal deck next to Toph and Katara. Some warriors had split off to taken down any soldiers on the bridge as well as look for soldiers sleeping below deck. Katara bent water over the railing to knock down three soldiers that rushed them. Two more came from the right; one of them wielding a spear, the other a dao. Y/N deflected the tip of the spear and sliced down, snapping the wood in half. She kicked him in the chest, and he skidded backwards on the deck. She parried a strike from the other soldier, and sent her elbow flying into his face, bringing him to his knees.

Y/N watched in awe as Toph ripped a piece of the railing off the boat and bent it around the two of them on the ground, restraining them back to back. Y/N looked around the deck and noticed Sokka kneeling, tying another soldier’s hands behind his back. What he didn’t see what the Fire Nation soldier who was sneaking up behind him.

Y/N’s breath caught in her throat and she ran.

She got there just in time to intercept his sword with her own. But catching him so late in the blow cost Y/N her upward momentum and the tip of her sword scraped the deck. She grabbed his wrist and pushed it away. She brought her left knee up into his side, using their closeness as an advantage. He groaned and bent forward. She swung the flat of her blade against his wrist, forcing him to drop his sword on the deck. For good measure, she grabbed the back of his head and sent her knee into his face. The soldier sprawled back on the deck; dazed, with a bloody nose.

Snickering behind her drew Y/N’s attention. She watched as Hakoda elbowed Bato in the chest, and Bato, irritated, pushed him away.

“I told you so!” Hakoda called after him.

---

Y/N was surprised when Katara said that she could have her own room.

“Everyone else, has their own. We figured you would want one too.” she shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal and left. Except it was a huge deal. Y/N grinned. They weren’t worried anymore that she was going to wake up in the middle of the night and go on a murder spree. They were giving her an inch of trust and that meant everything to Y/N. She knew that she had a long way to go, but this was something.

She pulled her hair out of it’s tangled braid and dropped her sword–which Hakoda had allowed her to keep–next to her bed roll before collapsing onto it. She sat back up immediately as someone knocked on her door.

“Yeah?” she called, crossing her legs. She began to comb the knots out of her hair with her fingers.

She dropped her hands in surprise when Sokka opened the door. He closed the door behind him and leaned on the wall just inside.

Suddenly the room felt stiflingly hot. He had traded his blue Water Tribe clothes for a soldier’s uniform and replaced his wolfs-tail with a Fire Nation top knot.

“What’s up?”

Sokka shifted uncomfortably on his feet. “I want you to teach me how to sword-fight.”

“Oh?” Y/N was surprised to hear that come out of his mouth. “Why?”

“I would have died if you hadn’t been there,” Sokka admitted. “I feel like I rely on the others too much in a fight. I’ve never had a Master to teach me anything.”

“Well, I’m not a Master,” Y/N said apologetically. She could understand where he was coming from. She was born into a family of firebenders as the only nonbender and it made her special in all the wrong ways. She had to be good at something to survive.

“Maybe not in title, but you’re good. Really good. I–actually never mind.” Sokka turned the handle to the door.

“No, wait! I’ll do it!” She shot up and grabbed his arm. It didn’t matter how much he had hated her twenty-four hours ago. This was something they had in common and if she ever wanted to be in their good graces, she needed to do this.

“Yeah?” He looked hopeful, and little surprised like he figured she would have said no.

“How about we start tomorrow?” Y/N asked. She realized her hand was still wrapped around his wrist. She pulled back and crossed her arms.

Sokka nodded. “Tomorrow.”

---

A/N: now I’m just trying to decide how much of a slow-burn this is going to be.... ALSO two things! One: you’ll notice that I keep mentioning her being a non-bender. You’re all like, “yeah, yeah we know.” but it’s important!! If you haven’t read the Imbalance comics, I highly recommend you do. I have taken some of the issues from that and decided to use them in here because they moved me so much. Being a non-bender is part of Y/N just as much as being a waterbender is to Katara. It defines her, even if she doesn’t like it. Two: No Master Piandao here because, why would we when we can get Sokka and Y/N bonding over sparring and sword-fighting lessons? :)

Taglist: @myexgirlfriendisthemoon @reclusive-chicken-nugget @astroninaaa @aangsupremacy @beifongsss @crownofcryptids @welovediaaxx @littlefluu @lozzybowe @thebluelcdy @ohjustlookalive @sugarmoongey @fanficdepot @teenbiology @13-09-01 @riespage @davnwillcome @naanlianid @creation-magician @lunariasilver @vintagerose1014516 @bcifcng

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petermyspiderson · 4 years ago

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Dramione Fic Recs

Been super into Dramione at the moment so I’m keeping track of my favourite fics, will update as I go! Please suggest more fics if you know any good ones!

The Fallout - everythursday - 310k

- 5/5. Hermione learns about growing up through the redemption of Draco Malfoy. War-fic. Draco redemption. Slow-burn, bloody amazing, I can’t even describe how much I love this fic. GDrive link.

Manacled - senlinyu - 370k

- 5/5. Harry Potter is dead. Voldemort enacts a repopulation effort. Hermione has an Order secret, lost in her mind, so she is sent as an enslaved surrogate to the High Reeve until her mind can be cracked. Post-war fic. I lost my mind at this one. Insanely good writing. Super dark so read the warnings. Made me want to reread pretty much straight away. Best last line I’ve ever read. TW: Rape.

Of Crimson Joy - LittleRobbin - 108k

- 5/5. War fic. "Life isn't always black and white, Granger. There are just shades of grey," Hermione learns about the price of forgiveness and trust when Draco Malfoy joins the Order, three years in to the war. Love, love, love this one. The plot-twist is just amazing. And Teddy is in it!

Breath Mints/Battle Scars - Onyx_and_Elm - 148k

- 4/5. Post-war fic. Draco Malfoy's been ruined by this war and he's as out of place as she is and — yes, he has scars too. He's got an even bigger one. She wonders whether one day they'll compare sizes. Did take me a while to get into but so worth it. A fandom favourite! Set at Hogwarts after the war.

Wait and Hope - mightbewriting - 95k

-4/5. Hermione wakes up after an accident and has forgotten that she is married to Draco, she thinks she still hates him. This fic is super cute! Love the characterization, and the whole Slytherin group is there! Has sequels which is always great.

Beautiful Things Can Come From the Dark - yesterdayschild4 - 136k

- 4/5. Super dark. He found her, broken and bleeding, and it would change everything. Set in school, Hermione is attacked by a death eater, Draco is very conflicted when he finds her. Loved the whole hurt/comfort vibe. TW: Rape.

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thebad---catholic · 4 years ago

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Why I don’t think Azula should’ve gotten a healing/redemption arc

k so I made this meme a couple weeks ago

and I got a lot (a lot? Like 10 but that’s a lot for me) responses disagreeing with my post, which is fair because there’s really only a tiny subset of fans who fit into the “if you stan villains you’re a bad person” category, and Azula’s character (like most other things in atla) is fairly nuanced. I won’t dive into her personal psychology so much, just why I was satisfied with her arc as a viewer.

Note: I’m only speaking within the context of Atla. I haven’t read any of the comics or seen Lok so for the sake of this lil post those don’t exist.

Not enough time

Plain and simple, Azula didn’t have enough time for any sort of healing or redemption. She would’ve needed at least 2 seasons based on what Zuko went through. Adding more seasons for this purpose would feel kind of pointless. Maybe they should’ve explored this in other media but not within atla as the story works best as a tidy three season bit.

Along this same vein, I’m not viewing the show the same way as I would irl. If we’re being realistic, Azula was a horribly abused mentally ill 14 year old who most definitely should’ve gotten treatment. But this is a cartoon, where standards are a little different, which I’ll talk more about in a minute.

Iroh used to be a bad person/If Zuko changed so could she

This one is more complicated for me, but basically I view it like this. In the show, Iroh and Zuko display goodness before their redemption.

We see this with Zuko especially. He is banished for trying to protect the lives of fire nation soldiers from certain death. Twice he spares the life of his rival Zhao, even after that rival tried to kill him. In season two, he saves appa, risks blowing his cover to light lanterns for Jin, saves a town from mercenaries, and even when he’s robbing, he spares certain people (the pregnant woman for example) and mostly targets the wealthy. Zuko, even at his worst, had hard limits on his morality.

Iroh is more subtle. The most clear example comes from the flashback in “Zuko Alone” where Iroh gifts Zuko a dagger from the earth kingdom that he notes is of superior craftsmanship. This, to me, shows where the start of Iroh’s arc comes from: his appreciation of the other nations. It’s been noted before that Iroh has also mastered all four elements, even though he can only firebend. Redirecting lightning comes from waterbenders- likely learned before Iroh “turned good”. Even as their adversary, Iroh respects the people of Ba Sing Se for their resilience. (This again contrasts Zhao, who was so deranged he murdered the fucking moon just to win.) Finally, the dragons. Iroh is known as the dragon of the west even to people from Ba Sing Se- this means that he spared the lives of the final dragons before Lu Tens death. Like Zuko, Iroh shows mercy even when on the wrong side. Lu Ten’s death breaks Iroh because it forces him to finally come to terms with the fact that the fire nation is built on a lie. Fire nation superiority is a lie, and it’s one he’s known for a long time.

Azula doesn’t display any of these traits. The only time in the entire series where she apologizes is after she insults Ty Lee, and I’d argue it was an act of manipulation, as she quickly uses the apology to receive praise from Ty Lee. The beach episode is the only soft side we ever see to Azula, and all of her interactions can still be interpreted like my example. Was the comment about Ursa thinking she was a monster a slip of her mask or an attempt to “perform” like the others? We know Azula is a liar, so was she lying when she said ursa was right, or that it still hurt? Or both? And, mind you, I do love how this episode explores azula more closely, but I don’t believe being a nuanced villain makes you a redeemable one. Even as a child, Azula is cruel and takes pleasure in hurting Zuko, and animals, and her friends. She’s a master manipulator who makes friends through fear and intimidation. Imo, the only reason she doesn’t actually kill someone is because Avatar was technically a kids show, though that sure as fuck didn’t stop her from threatening multiple peoples lives. There is no action of Azula that signifies an ounce of good in her.

She was abused

1) a tragic backstory isn’t the be all end all of whether or not a character’s redeemable, and 2) So was Zuko. And probably Iroh and Ozai, and probably Azulan. The fire nation royal family is fucked up. Even if Azulan was a “good” father to Ozai and Iroh he was still a dictator who was grooming them to take over.

Having Azula be a puppet in her fathers game was an incredibly mature route for atla to take. Once again, it adds depth with a realistic take for Azula’s villainy. Very rarely are individuals born evil (enter nature v nuture debate here). Some of the worst people to ever exist were victims of abuse and neglect to varying degrees. Once again, though, this doesn’t suddenly render Azula open to redemption. And from a storytelling perspective, there’s parallels between Ozai and Iroh and Azula and Zuko.

Ozai continued the cycle of abuse, Iroh broke free from it, Zuko ended it, and Azula was broken by it. These are all things that happen in real life.

She’s 14

Oddly enough this is the argument that baffles me the most. I know I just said a whole lot about real life vs fiction, but I’m gonna pull the fiction card on this one. I can suspend belief with these characters and their ages. I don’t think any 12 year old could function after waking up from a coma and finding out his entire people were slaughtered and that he only had like, six months to save the world, regardless of his upbringing and power set. I also don’t think any 14 year old could lead a trio to infiltrate a city state, outsmart the shadow leader of said city state, and manipulate and entire little army for her favor.

There’s just a point where you have to suspend belief. The characters of avatar are fantastic, but are not realistic portrayals of people in their age group. Azula could be 14 as easily as she could be 25 and nothing about the narrative would change. The same is true for the rest of the main characters- even Aang, as youthful and fun loving as he is, also has more emotional maturity than anyone in the gaang, and more than most adults i know. If you want a realistic example of a child working through trauma, try Lilo from Lilo and Stich. Not anyone from Atla

Not everyone needs a happy ending.

This is ultimately what it comes down to for me. I like Azula as a villain. I like Azula as a villain who stays a villain and who is driven insane by power and paranoia. I like Macbeth. Azula is a tragedy- and that’s what I like.

So there ya have it folks. That’s my take. I’m writing this at five am with very little sleep, so please forgive typos and whatnot. I feel like maybe I haven’t explained everything the way I wanted to, but I can’t stop thinking about this, and the great thing about this show is that it’s fun to keep thinking about.

#avatar #avatar the last airbender #azula meta #azula deserved better #atla azula #avatar zuko #iroh & zuko #uncle iroh #atla #atla spoilers #atla headcanons

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retvenkos · 4 years ago

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i just read your tags are you anti-snape?

(so i just saw that my tags were cut off halfway through my rant, so if you want me to finish that, just send in an ask and i will write out my whole thoughts)

okay, so anti-snape is a strong word, with a lot of different connotations to it, and while i wouldn’t brand myself as anti-snape because of all of the strong feelings attached, i would say that i don’t think that snape deserves all of the recognition that he deserves.

why?

what i firstly want to say is that snape is emotional abuser. my case in point here is neville, who had parents that were literally tortured to insanity, proving that his worst fear is snape - his teacher. how many times was snape unusually cruel to neville and harry? how many times did he humiliate hermione - an already bullied, muggle-born student (and possible poc)? snape is established to be cruel, and when you look at his actions, it is clear he is emotionally abusive to his students.

why did i start with this? because i relate with neville - i know what it is like to have your worst fear be an abuser that you face every day. so, therefore, i am biased against snape, and a lot of my dislike for him comes from the fact that no matter how you dice it, this man was in a position of power, abusing those students that looked up to him.

he especially hated harry, who was an abused kid himself (and there is some kind of narrative in there, an abused kid growing up to hate and alienate an abused kid. i’m not going to get into that. but just think about that for a second and tell me you don’t want to at least dislike snape.).

and perhaps you want to argue that snape couldn’t know that harry was abused over at privet drive. fair, okay. not everything about a kid can be seen on their face, right? but, one could argue that if snape took the time to look at harry and see him as a kid for a second, he could see hints of it. i have family members who are teachers, and they say that they can never be 100% sure, but they can at least have a good idea of who is abused at home, just based off of the way they interact with other people - especially adults. OR, if you don’t like that idea, you can think of it like this: the teachers at hogwarts are probably close to each other, right? mcgonagall knew (at least to some degree) what the dursleys were like - furthermore, she is close with harry and perceptive. she would have known that harry was abused, and if you don’t think that she wouldn’t have at least mentioned it to snape, i would disagree and say you don’t know mcgonagall. also! dumbledore! there is literally so many opportunities for snape to figure out that harry was abused at home. he just didn’t care.

so, snape is an emotionally abusive man in a position of power, picking on literal children as an outlet for his misplaced anger. this is the set-up for snape, and had he never had an in-depth redemption arc, we would literally all dislike snape.

and i feel like, then, the only reason that we have this snape/anti-snape discourse is dependent on whether or not you think his redemption arc is reason enough to excuse his actions.

and so here we talk about his childhood. which is definitely important and gives good insight, but should not be the only reason as to why he is seen as a good character. childhoods are formative and important, but they are not all encompassing. let’s not forget that snape is a grown man when the story starts. he is 31 years old when we are introduced to his character.

snape had a terrible childhood. he was neglected. he was abused (or so it was implied). he was friendless. he was lonely. he was poorly socialized. he was in a hogwarts house that seemed against him, almost, so he had to work to carve his place out and prove his worth. he wanted to stay at hogwarts all year, if he could.

(sound familiar? harry? neville? you two are here?)

but, school is not always great. at school, there are bullies that are terrible to him - it goes beyond teasing sometimes, snape getting hexed and jinxed and publically humiliated. he has one friend - lily, but sometimes he wonders if she really understands or if she really cares. no one has ever cared for him before, so why should she? he falls in love with her, but she does not reciprocate his feelings. instead, she falls for his tormentor - the person who has made his one safe place terrible, the person who treats him like he’s nothing.

now that is a compelling background. when he falls in with the wrong crowd, we can see why. he is desperate for some kind of belonging, some kind of importance.

(is that... draco?)

he gets more violent as time goes on. those spells he created? levicorpus? sectumsempra? he’s going down a dark path and he wants to cause pain. he becomes a death eater, and while we don’t get a lot of detail what happens here, he rises in the ranks, which means he had to have done terrible things. at this point, he is clearly a bad person. and maybe he feels remorse during this time, but it’s clearly not enough to push his conscience out of where it is. he is still on voldemort's side.

what changes him? the power of love, of course. because even in this terrible time, he still loves lily - right? but is it love? or is it more like obsession? jk would tell us it’s love, but i would disagree.

at the beginning, yes. snape loved lily. but after so much has transpired? things changed. snape is no longer as pure as he once was. he changed. any maybe he didn’t notice it, sure. but wasn’t he different, after everything?

if he loved lily, he would have cared about (even minorly) the things she cared for. yes, he could still hate james with a burning passion, yes he could let that ruin his and lily’s relationship,,, but could he become the very thing she feared and abhorred? could he become a death eater, literally killing people she loved? people just like her? could he have gone to her house, stepped over her dead husband, ignored her crying child to mourn her dead body?

this feels more like obsession. if you love someone, you care about them - their wellbeing, their peace of mind. love means you need to have an awareness for who your loved one loves, and you can accept them for the fact that they love someone else. snape shows he doesn’t. he only cares for her.

here we are, now, at this point is snape's story, and the natural progression in his redemption arc is for him to actively try to amend his terrible actions.

and... he does? kind of?

he becomes a double agent which is perfect. he vows to protect harry, which he does, physically... but he has a clear disregard for protecting harry emotionally, which one could argue is most important in harry’s story.

to defeat voldemort, harry has to come to terms with the idea that love is his strongest weapon against the dark lord, right? so snape being horrible to harry is not only bad because emotional abuse is real, but it’s also part of why harry is so angry and bitter in the sixth book, the exact opposite of what he needs to be if he wants to defeat voldemort.

also, snape preaches “control your emotions” but snape... is emotionally unstable and takes out all of his anger on children half his age? idk. that just bothers me.

so i feel like snape kind of half-asses his way through his redemption arc. he has chosen a different side, yes, but he doesn’t make a lot of intrinsic changes. he’s still angry. he’s still bitter. he’s still emotionally manipulative and abusive.

so really, the question is: is a redemption arc dependent on a change of heart? or is a change of action good enough?

if you haven’t already picked up on how i feel about this issue, i don’t think a change of action is enough.

redemption is the act of saving or being saved from sin, error, or evil (thanks, google). it’s absolution for your crimes. i feel like redemption is an intrinsic transformation, and jk preaches that love can do such an act. i’ve already covered that i don’t think snape loved lily, at the point of his big character changing moment. he was obsessed. it was more a change of action, than of heart.

BUT, that doesn’t mean that i don’t think he couldn’t have been redeemed. toward the close of his story, i kind of saw him as going through another arc as a character - i saw him start to care for harry more as harry rather than the child of the woman i’m obsessed with. i think, here, he’s starting to show that love that jk insists he has.

i think that if he had more time, he could have had a more full, more satisfying redemption arc. and that’s the tragedy of his character, right? we could always sort of trust him, but we could never fully trust him until the end. he was never really quite redeemed, it was cut short.

so, basically, i grapple with the fact that jk is adamant that snape is the good guy, he’s the redeemable character, when... he’s kind of only halfway there. AND, this is coupled with the fact that i believe draco was halfway there to a complete redemption arc, and jk is equally as adamant against draco getting a redemption arc.

jk has said that she thinks that the people who want draco to be redeemed are just girls obsessed with the bad boy having a heart of gold (which is fair, to some extent), but... isn’t she the exact same with snape? isn’t she equally obsessed that her readers know snape as being the emotionally scarred, bad boy with a heart of gold? food for thought.

also, where i draw a clear distinction between the crimes of draco and the crimes of snape is that draco is a teenager alongside the teenagers he bullies and emotionally abuses (draco, too, is an abuser! if you want an analysis on him, hmu.) draco is a 15 year old abusing other 15 year olds. this is terrible, and it can’t be excused. i agree. BUT, snape is a 31 year old man abusing 11 year olds. he is also their teacher. there is a clear power imbalance coupled with the fact that snape is an adult, who is supposed to be wiser and smarter.

so... long post, forgive me. i could go off about the crimes of jk rowling's depiction of slytherins forever and never be fully satisfied. i’m sure that in a weeks time i will have more i want to add onto this post. but for now, these are my thoughts on snape’s redemption arc, and my answer to whether or not i am anti-snape.

i am sure that after reading this, there are some of you who will think that i am anti-snape. that’s fine. you can have your own opinion, but if you are going to say that, know why.

no opinion is good if you can’t explain why.

#harry potter discourse #hp #severus snape #anti-snape #j.k. rowling #discourse #olive rambles #and apparently screams at the sky because i have now been writing this for two (2) hours and my mom doesn't want to listen to me anymore #she likes to play devil's advocate in arguments but i will not stop until she understands my valid points

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movedyoakkemae · 4 years ago

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my thoughts on the en.deavour redemption arc (chs 164 - 302). DO NOT REBLOG.

DO NOT REBLOG !!

the endeavour redemption arc is a rather controversial arc in the manga, and, tl;dr: i think it started eh, continued badly, turned better, then ended like shit.

note: if you are anime only, this will contain spoilers ! trigger warnings: child abuse, domestic abuse, suicide, and murder.

here are the things we know: endeavour physically abused shōto, tōya, and rei. he ignored natsuo and fuyumi, and he discarded tōya once he realised that tōya got burnt through using his quirk. he also mentally and emotionally abused all of them. separated shōto from the rest of his siblings. not to mention the fact that he married rei on purpose in order to create the perfect tool that would become the number one hero in his stead. he thinks of his children as objects, as extensions of himself.

however, endeavour, not out of his own power but because of all might's lack of strength, ends up reaching the number one spot as a hero by himself. this kickstarts endeavour's "redemption" arc, particularly in chapter 164 when endeavour asks all might:

endeavour: you hear about this? how the crime rate this past month... is up 3% compared to past years? i... i'm the guy who resolved more incidents than anyone, now more than ever... but i can hear it. the thing you've built that cannot be seen... is crumbling down. so, #1 hero... what's it mean to be the symbol of peace? (ch 164)

in a lot of ways, this question is surprising to hear. as we can tell even in the question itself, endeavour's main area of focus has been about the amount of incidents that he has stopped, the amount of villains that he has defeated, but recognising that there was something missing, something that all might had built up, certainly shows an awareness that endeavour seemed to lack earlier.

in the next chapter, the conversation continues:

endeavour: i gave shōto everything. by age 20, i'd already climbed to the #2 position. it was because i made that climb that i understood... unless i reached the summit, it was all for nothing. if all i cared about were titles, i could've worn a smile like you... and played the part of the lovable fool. but i wanted to be the strongest! [...] all might: endeavor. the position you've been put in... i know what people are saying. a lot of people compare us. but you and i are different. the symbol i strove to be... that isn't the path for you to follow. take your time to figure out... ...the way you ought to do things. (ch 165)

again, we still see that hint of same sort of "all he cares about strength". being number one was all about being stronger than all might, which is why when he found it impossible for him, he went on to try to create something that could end up being stronger than both him and all might. that would be, after he beat it into shape.

also, the fact that he says "i gave shōto everything". (yeah, you gave the poor kid trauma if that's what you mean by "everything".) that's something some abusers routinely say about their children -- that they gave them everything, that they should be grateful.

at the end of the chapter, we see shōto warmly giving a little girl a small fire to put her hands next to when she was chilly, a smile on his face, and endeavour has a weird look as all might says:

all might: what purpose does our strength serve? endeavour... the answer is a simple one. (ch 165)

this is what sets the tone for endeavour's part of his conversation with shōto in the next chapter.

endeavour: i'm proud of you, son. on that note... i'm hoping to become a hero you can be proud of. as your father and the #1 hero... i want to be deserving of those titles. shōto: [clearly aggravated and tense] good luck with that... (ch 165)

inasa sees endeavour talking to shōto and notices how his eyes have changed from being cold and not looking at anyone around him to actually focusing on shōto. as such, the readers are basically hinted to see that endeavour has changed, even just a little, already. he's no longer just looking at all might as the summit he needs to climb; he's actually seeing the people around him.

now, this kickstarts endeavour's arc of thoughts that being a better #1 hero would mean that he would be a better father. this we especially see in the endeavour v. nomu arc.

i think the first interesting conversation we have about the endeavour's redemption arc is in chapter 187 with natsuo and fuyumi visiting rei in the hospital. natsuo says,

natsuo: about him... they made him number one yesterday. it's official. the world still doesn't know the truth about you [rei]. about our siblings... about how he's always treated his family. for one, he doesn't do the talk show circuit. i can barely remember most of it, really. thinking back, he was like a perfect stranger. but... what he did to you, to shōto, and to... [tōya/dabi] well, i can't let anyone pretend it all never happened. it's been almost ten years, and he still hasn't come to apologise to you. his past, his family... it's like he wants to leave it all behind. [...] rei: apparently he's [endeavour] come many times. though... we haven't met. i'm a bit scared though... and my doctor says it's not a good idea. of course, i can't say what he's thinking. it might be external pressures. but... he's not leaving anything behind. not his past. not his family. i know he's trying to make sense of it all. (ch 187)

he's also apparently been leaving rei flowers, flowers that she told him that were her favourite once when they met for the first time.

i actually think in this aspect, it's good that he hasn't actually seen rei or pushed himself onto seeing her. he's letting her take control of her own recovery (although, i will say it's pretty fucking telling that even after a decade, she's still scared of him). i'd argue that the flowers might be crossing the line, but it seems that rei thinks of them as a nice gesture, so i'm not going to argue about how that could be perceived negatively.

the battle between endeavour and the nomu gets serious, and endeavour nearly dies (which is broadcasted on TV for shōto to see, ofc).

in chapter 189, we see three different characters' thoughts on endeavour never giving up (some of it in particular directed towards his fight towards surpassing all might and being number one via strength alone).

natsuo: he knows better than anyone... that he'll never be the next all might! that's why he gave up so quickly... and basically went insane... abandoning the kids he didn't care for... and driving mom to the breaking point... [...] fuyumi: he never gave up. in fact, giving up is what he's worst at. [...] hawks: i was watching you this whole time. i get it. there was nobody else out there... really trying to surpass him [all might]. only you! you were the one working to surpass him. [manga showing endeavour building a small bridge over the chasm that metaphorically separates all might from the rest of the heroes] (ch 189).

i actually agree with fuyumi here more than anyone. endeavour marrying rei and creating his children wasn't because he was giving up (for one, he thinks of his children as extensions of himself...) but part of his way of trying to surpass all might. he also continued to work and get stronger himself, which he wouldn't have been doing if he had just given up.

that being said, i do agree with natsuo's description of their childhood, just not about it being because endeavour gave up.

also, from a narrative perspective, the shift of endeavour's obsession with surpassing all might being thought of as negative (from shōto's statements of it in the sports festival arc) to positive (you're the only one who actually tried!) through hawks point of view is... interesting. horikoshi is re-contextualising endeavour's obsession as a good thing, and that, in point, is done to soften endeavour's actions overall.

after all, if it's a good thing that endeavour was trying to surpass all might, then doesn't his actions against his family make a little bit more sense? doesn't that mean that he had good intentions, even if he did something bad?

(nope. not in my book.)

so, the next part of this arc happens in 192, where endeavour comes home from the hospital and after defeating the nomu with a huge scar on his face (the exact same side as shōto's!), and we get that beautifully passive aggressive "nasty scar you got there" from shōto while he's slurping up soba noodles.

and then natsuo tries to leave and this conversation starts:

endeavour: natsuo... if you got something to say, then say it. natsuo: say it...? that's rich, coming from a guy who's never even looked me in the eye. listen to this... i didn't know shōto loved soba until today. why? because you never let him play with us failed experiments. i get the feeling that mom and sis here want to forgive you, but all i see is the same maniac who, all of a sudden, is getting rave reviews. you might look like a changed man, but you're not. you abandoned us as failures, left us to hear mom's screams, shōto's cries. and big bro tōya too... you being the top hero and beating some big baddie can't erase any of that. did you decide to have a change of heart?! think we can just hug things out and make up?! it's sickening! don't you freaking get that?! endeavour: i'm trying to make amends, going forward. natsuo: is that so?! [leaves] (ch 192)

for one, god fucking bless natsuo. i think he fully encapsulates my issue with this part of the endeavour redemption arc, which is solidified by shōto's own speech:

shōto: as a hero, this endeavour guy... is pretty darn amazing. but it's like natsu said. i'm not ready to forgive you... for abusing mom. so, heroics aside, what sort of dad are you going to be? that's what i want to find out. sure, the perfect turning point can actually change someone. i know it's possible. (ch 192)

endeavour doesn't need to be a perfect hero to earn redemption from his family. hell, even when shōto hated endeavour the most, he could admit that endeavour was a great hero. maybe his reasons for being a hero was off, but he saved people, he stopped the bad guys. i think it's even canon that he's technically saved more people than all might.

the problem was never with "endeavour", it was with "todoroki enji". todoroki enji was a shit father who didn't give a shit about his kids aside from what he could use them for. he was too obsessed with defeating all might that he lost sight of his family -- which endeavour finally seems to realise after this little speech.

endeavour's thoughts: [having a flashback to all might saying "what purpose does our strength serve?"] power... a reason to dominate... when he told me that, it came to me in a flash. an ordinary, simple thought. "i have to safeguard the future for them." that's the job for whoever's on top! and yet... what about the futures i cut short? [image of rei in the midst of a mental breakdown] just demanding forgiveness isn't enough. it's too late for that. at this point, i need to atone... there's no other route. endeavour out loud: fuyumi, i'm sorry for everything. that was the wrong thing to say to natsuo. (ch 192)

we see actual growth in his character, him actually starting to learn what he should be focusing on rather than what he was focusing on. he still slips up, like with him trying to demand shōto's attention through texting with contact information that he only got because FUYUMI gave to him (ch 203), which i have my own issues with. as in, fuyumi better have asked shōto permission before giving endeavour his contact information because, if not, then holy fucking shit, that's so gross.

in the next part of the endeavour redemption arc, we have shōto in chapter 242 invite izuku and katsuki to join him with training at endeavour's hero agency.

we still see hints of endeavour only really thinking of shōto as an extension of his will and his beliefs when he asks izuku and katsuki in chapter 247 what they're working on and what they want to achieve. he starts to move in without even asking shōto, which shōto objects to in his own way.

endeavour: let's get to it -- shōto: [clears throat] and me? endeavour: you're here to master flashfire, shōto! shōto: all the quirk training you beat into me as a kid... i've put it into practise with my right side. thinking back, it's no wonder i couldn't escape my own hatred of you. then i got into u.a. competing alongside these two [izuku and katsuki]... and everyone else... really opened my eyes. endeavour... in the end... i'm going to do exactly what you always wanted. but please understand... the man i admire... is the one mom and i watched on the tv back then. [all might]. as a fledgling hero... in order to become a man worthy of the title... i came here of my own free will! you're a rotten number one*. you were just in the right place at the right time -- that's all. sorry this isn't going the way you want it to, number one. so let's stop that father-son crap in front of my friends. endeavour's thoughts: since he was willing to come here, i thought the boy's heart was open and ready to accept me... what a fool i was! i had it all wrong! endeavour out loud: right. i'll be evaluating you three as heroes. (ch 247) *the translation isn't quite accurate, but i don't have access to the original japanese right now to translate myself. i just remember that this translation isn't the best.

once again, we do see that endeavour is learning. shōto expresses his feelings and endeavour tries to move on from there in the way that shōto wants him to -- and he does ! he stops acting like he's close to shōto as a dad in front of the others and acts only like a hero training an apprentice (without the abuse that happened all throughout shōto's childhood).

i think this and what happens in the next part of this internship arc, is probably the best written bits of the endeavour redemption arc.

by that, in chapter 249, we open with this inner dialogue from endeavour:

endeavour: i'm trying to make amends... going forward. it might be too late... but i fall asleep every night thinking about... what i can do for my family. lately, it's been the same dream. the wife and kids, looking happy... at the dinner table. but i'm... never there with them. (ch 249)

this kickstarts his decision that he gives to natsuo later, but before we get there, we get this awkward todoroki family dinner with izuku and katsuki. izuku finally finds out that katsuki overheard them during the sports festival, and fuyumi and shōto talk when they think they're alone.

fuyumi: it's not like i don't share some of natsu's feelings... but... it feels like we've been given another chance now... how do you feel about dad? shōto: this burn... i think of it as something our old man gave me. [cue horrific flashback of the aftermath of rei pouring boiling water on shōto's face and immediately apologising] mom endured and endured... until she couldn't anymore. so, i can't just decide to forgive the guy who wore her down... but... mom is trying to get past all that now. honestly... i don't know... how i should feel about him. i still... haven't seen anything. [...] izuku: todoroki, i think... you're getting yourself ready to be able to forgive him. just say "i'll never forgive him" if you really hate the guy. because you're so caring yourself... it's like you're waiting... or at least that's how it seems. (ch 249)

i think each of the siblings (including tōya / dabi!) really showcases a lot of the different reactions children can have towards abuse. fuyumi is the type who fully embraces the abuser back because they want to become a family again. shōto is the type who isn't quite sure but doesn't want to just kick the abuser down if he's actually trying to change. natsuo is the type who just does not want to be around the abuser at all and doesn't think the abuser can change. tōya / dabi is the vengeful one who literally wants the abuser dead or feeling how he caused them to feel.

i also have an issue with how izuku words this to shōto -- does that mean that natsuo is not caring? should he not be upset with endeavour for all of the abuse, and, in natsuo's thoughts, for causing tōya to die? he cares too much, and that's really it, and i think endeavour (funnily enough) encapsulates my thoughts on that completely.

for context, natsuo gets kidnapped and held hostage by a villain who wants endeavour to kill him. the villain is threatening to kill natsuo if endeavour doesn't kill him. endeavour chokes on the save aside from catching katsuki and natsuo after the boys implement their plans to rescue natsuo, stop the villain, and save the civilians. then, endeavour has this to say:

endeavour: i'm sorry! in that moment... i couldn't help but think... about how if i saved you... then going forward... you might feel... like you couldn't stand up to me... natsuo, believe it or not... i was never trying... to neglect any of you. but... all i could do was blame others and dodge responsibility. with tōya too... i might as well have killed him myself. natsuo: didn't neglect us? so what...? tōya has always told me everything. it'll be a cold day in hell... before i forgive you. 'cause i'm not as caring as shōto. endeavour: even so... even so... you keep showing up for fuyumi, right? and for your mom's sake? your sister loves the idea of being a big happy family... because... that's exactly what i ruined. she wants that back... she's so eager to fix everything. and that's why you're trying. because you care about how she feels, right..? because you are caring. so... you don't have to forgive me. i'm not looking for forgiveness. just atonement. natsuo: [starts crying] wow. you got a real way with words all of a sudden! i know how happy it makes sis, having us all together! but... when i see your face... those memories come rushing back. why do i gotta be the one to come around? atonement? how're you gonna make that happen? endeavour: i have an idea, actually. (ch 252).

endeavour saying "i wasn't trying to neglect any of you" is such a fucking backslide, but he somewhat saves it with explaining why. at the same time, the explanation doesn't really matter -- he did neglect natsuo and fuyumi. however, the next bit of it, when he says that natsuo does care, and that it's okay for natsuo to never forgive him -- that was real fucking character growth, and we see it come to a beautiful place at the end of the chapter where endeavour talks with fuyumi and natsuo.

endeavour: fuyumi. i've already talked about this with shōto and natsuo. you've been doing your best to create a safe and sound household for your mother to come home to. i've let you shoulder all of that... and i stood by while you worked hard... but it's all okay now. [thoughts: it's always the same dream. my whole family's there, but not me.] because i'm building a new house for you all. one that makes sense for your commutes. and one where you can give your mother a warm welcome back. fuyumi: what about you, dad...? endeavour: [thoughts: if i really care about how they feel...] i'll remain here. (ch 252)

this is where i fucking cheered. this is where i really thought horikoshi was going to save this arc. abusers forcing their presence on the family is absolutely the wrong way to do it. endeavour trying to be the "best hero" is absolutely the wrong way to do it. endeavour stepping back, making sure that they're all comfortable, but (most likely) being there when they want to reach out on their terms in the way that they want to -- that's beautiful. that's actual growth. that's literally the best decision any abuser can make ever; leaving it in the hands of the people he abused.

in this part, in this moment, i could have accepted the endeavour redemption arc. i might not have agreed when shōto decided that he could see endeavour as a father (depending on when it would happen in canon and what would cause it), but in this regard, i could actually see redemption.

and then we get the fucking shitshow that is dabi reveal arc and the dabi backstory arc, and then i just want to throw away the whole fucking redemption arc.

in chapter 290, we get the dabi is todoroki tōya reveal (surprise, surprise /j). tōya, being the dramatic bitch that he is, washes off the probably water-soluble black dye off of his white hair and tells endeavour and shōto that he's tōya and that he's been waiting for years to take endeavour down and that he's sending out a broadcast to every TV station live detailing about endeavour's abuse of his family.

dabi: when, at long last, you could stare your kids in the eye... didja finally start to feel the warm and fuzzy bonds of family?! you must've thought, "as long as i can face the future, i can be better!" i can tell you're at a loss for words, so here's the answer! the past never dies! get it, yet?! you reap what you sow! so let's tango, you and me -- todoroki enji! a dance with your son, here in hell!! (ch 290).

in chapter 291, we continue the dabi reveal (including a 99.9% match between his DNA and endeavour's DNA as proof of their relation! hint: that's not actually fucking possible, but i'm pretty sure that's either a translation error or a wording issue) in the public eye. we get this fun little monologue from endeavour in the beginning of the chapter:

endeavour's thoughts: i thought it could be you [tōya]. you could have been the one... to reach my eternal goal. my frustration... my envy... the ugliness in my heart... you could have been the one... to smash it all to dust.

again, we get that whole "using child as an object/extension of endeavour" thing that has characterised endeavour for a long time. tōya shouldn't have been created to fix his frustration about not becoming number one himself.

regardless, endeavour stays in shock for the rest of the battle, unable to even move despite the fact that shōto managed to pull himself together in order to try to save everyone on the battlefield despite dabi trying to kill him.

we then go to chapter 300, where endeavour wakes up in his hospital room and ruminates on everything that he had done. he cries and expresses guilt, especially on how things played out with tōya when he was a child, and he declares that "i might get to live on... but endeavour died back there. my son's a mass murderer, yet... i can't fight him." (ch 300).

then, shōto, natsuo, and fuyumi enter the room while endeavour continues to cry.

endeavour: sorry... i'm... so sorry. i'm sorry... i didn't realise until now... these regrets... this guilt... it's too late to matter! my heart... it's... rei: [walking into the room] yes? what about your heart? those regrets and guilt... the rest of us have borne that burden... much more than you have. endeavour: rei?! why are you here?! rei: i'm here to talk about our family. and about our son, tōya. (ch 300).

this jumpstarts into a flashback of what caused tōya's "death", and i think in some truly horrific scenes that i think horikoshi writes in a way that we're supposed to feel some level of sympathy for endeavour. reading all of that makes me feel even -infinity sympathy for endeavour.

in chapter 301, we start the flashback into the past, where tōya wants to continue quirk training but endeavour begins to discard him, saying that it was for tōya's own good (because he burns himself when he uses too much fire). unfortunately, tōya doesn't care about his own burns, he just wants his dad's approval and wants to surpass all might himself.

endeavour, meanwhile, is still focused mostly on creating a child that would surpass all might, as we see in this conversation between endeavour and rei:

rei: no... that would be too much! it's too cruel! especially now that tōya knows what you're hoping to achieve through the children! endeavour: no matter what i say... he comes home with fresh burns every day. he inherited that pigheaded stubbornness from me! that's the only way to make him give up! since he'll never be the one to surpass... [all might] (ch 301)

(sure, that's your motivation. you say that while you literally have the same eyes as when you think about all might being better than you).

endeavour's eyes when thinking about all might being better.

endeavour's eyes when thinking of "stopping tōya" through the birth of more children.

we see that shōto is born, and that tōya doesn't stop training on his own, which causes endeavour to snap at tōya:

endeavour: no! why won't you stop?! you're covered in burns... and you still don't get it?! why?! tōya! you have to... look beyond all this. play with natsuo and fuyumi! make some friends at school! there's a whole other world besides the hero stuff... i know you understand that! take my advice, and this'll all be a distant memory soon. tōya: the kids at school all say they wanna be heroes. i can't understand that. because i've got you as a father. you lit this fire in me, dad, and it's not going out! i can't just pretend it's not there! [uses his fire] look at me, endeavour! look... at me!! [goes to attack baby!shōto] (ch 301)

all tōya wanted was not to be discarded, and he could see just as well as anyone that endeavour didn't seem to care about the others as much -- that's why tōya went for shōto, not for any of the other siblings.

endeavour had no real idea how to talk to tōya, or even knew how to reach out and get some help, and that was probably (mainly) because what he was doing with rei and creating his children was illegal, as we hear from a doctor earlier.

and before anyone blames tōya, he's young ass kid who knows he's being discarded by his father, and he wants attention. just any sort of attention. yes, he's going to lash out. yes, he's going to keep on doing what originally got him his father's attention (aka training). yes, he's going to try to attack endeavour's "perfect child" for "taking his place". i don't blame tōya for that -- i blame endeavour.

rei: [in the present] you don't get to claim you're hurting more than anyone. and you're not the only one who didn't really see him. (ch 301)

this next chapter, the next part of the flashback, chapter 302, is particularly rough, and it's in part with what's hinted in rei's last part of this comment. (i agree with the first part! endeavour doesn't get to claim that he's hurting more than anyone else. it's the second in context with chapter 302).

we return back to the flashback where endeavour is talking to rei about separating shōto from the rest of his siblings.

endeavour: i'm too busy with work to look after him [shōto] 24-y... which is why i've hired help. but you -- don't you take your eyes off of tōya. rei: he just wants you to look at him. to notice him. that's all. endeavour: all i can show anyone... is the world of heroes. rei: heroes? aren't you just running away? (ch 302)

interestingly enough, endeavour's face in this conversation is covered by shadows. all we really see are the whites of his eyes and the side of his face where sweatdrops of stress are running down. rei's face, too, is practically covered aside from a close-up on her stressed eye. a lot of rei's downward spiral focuses on rei's eyes over anything, so i think this is where we kind of see -- well, not the start of that (we do see that focus in ch 301), but the continuation of her stress that leads eventually to her mental breakdown.

then, we continue on (with an interesting conversation between tōya and rei, but we're focusing on endeavour unfortunately, so alas) with tōya talking to endeavour.

tōya: listen, dad. next time you get a day off... you gotta come up to sekoto peak with me. endeavour: [grabs tōya's shirt violently and lifts it up. his thoughts: new burns! where he can keep them hidden! he's been training that way on purpose!] damn it! again?! tōya: no, wait! what i can do now is really cool! you gotta come see! i might be as awesome as shōto sooner or later! maybe i'll be even better than all might someday! then you've gotta give me some respect, dad! you'll be glad you created me! i just know it! (ch 302)

the next scene is a very clear domestic abuse scene (even if it cuts away from the actual hitting).

endeavour: why didn't you stop him?! huh, rei?! damn it, that's all i asked you to do!! shōto: [crying and stepping in front of rei, trying to defend her] don't bully mommy! stop it! don't be mean to her! endeavour: get out, shōto! it's none of your business! natsuo & fuyumi: [cowering, crying, and covering their ears] rei: i... can't stop him. (ch 302).

skip the next scan if the narrative hint of domestic abuse happening might upset you.

now, i'm putting in the scan to showcase that we essentially get to explicitly see this all go down. endeavour is a shadowy figure in the bedroom, we see nothing of rei's face except for her eye (crying, and again, that same focus where we see her slow descent into her mental break), and we see all of the children cry except for tōya because he's out training on his own again.

the fact that endeavour decides to berate, and most likely hit, rei instead of going after his son -- well, he'd come to regret it later when tōya supposedly dies because "all he [endeavour] taught me... was how to turn up the heat." (ch 302). tōya burns himself to death because endeavour decided that because his quirk wasn't good enough to beat all might that he rather not train him at all anymore. that -- ugh.

and then we get out of the flashback and back into the hospital room in some of the most abhorrent lines of the present moments of this arc.

endeavour: if only i'd given it all up that day... but having killed tōya... i felt there was no turning back, so i poured all my energy into shōto... at the expense of everything else. rei: once tōya was gone, you grew worse and worse, until i couldn't stand the sight of you. it got so bad, i even started seeing hints of you in the children's faces. fuyumi: i knew our family was broken, but i was too scared to interfere. all i could do was try to fix things just to keep up appearances. natsuo: it was you who started all of this. you're the root cause, but... maybe, if i'd just slugged you in the face and made you have a few serious talks with him... "dabi" never would've come about, and i would've been enjoying some good soba with shōto all these years. rei: you're not the only one who's responsible, and now we all have to take responsibility for what comes next. (ch 302).

ignoring the next part for now, holy fucking shit. horikoshi makes the decision to spread the blame of tōya's death to the rest of the todoroki family, never mind that rei was also abused by endeavour and that fuyumi and natsuo were twelve and eight respectively.

endeavour showed no signs of listening to ANYONE. rei told him flat out that he just needed to give tōya attention, and he didn't listen. the fact that fuyumi felt burdened on trying to keep up appearances and felt like she didn't try to fix things at the age of twelve -- horrific. the fact that natsuo blames himself for not trying to talk some sense into endeavour at the age of eight -- horrific.

this is the moment where i threw the endeavour redemption arc into the garbage -- the rest of the family taking blame onto themselves that they shouldn't blame just so that endeavour can just right back up and be a hero.

endeavour was not going to change, not for anyone. hell, even with tōya's death, and endeavour admits it himself, it made him even more stubborn in his ways because one of his extensions of his will sacrificed himself, so he best make sure that shōto becomes the best extension of his will he can be.

this is genuinely so disgusting that i can't even put into words just how terrible this is. the fact that horikoshi made this decision -- i lost all respect for horikoshi as an author and in the endeavour redemption arc.

this chapter ends with shōto being proclaimed as the family hero and that endeavour needs to come back as a hero and fight dabi and by this point, i already hate everything, so throw the bitch out.

i think if the endeavour redemption arc had stopped in chapter 252, i think it would have been great. i think if they had played off the dabi reveal in any other way, without the family blaming themselves to partially absolve endeavour of his guilt, i think it could have been fine. but the way that this played out, the way that the victims are blaming themselves in part to make the abuser feel better -- no. just, fucking no.

is that a thing that happens in real life? do abuse victims internalise the abuse and then think that the abuser was just trying to do their best? oh yeah. however, with how the rest of the arc seems to be going with endeavour (endeavour showing up in the newest chapter still going around as a hero -- the number one hero, even), horikoshi is condoning that instead of writing it as unhealthy as it should be written.

thus, nope. throw the whole fucking thing away. no thank you.

#⤷ shouto t.【 ❝ heroes also have times when they cry. ❞ 】metas.#this is a 5.9k meta #this is longer than some of my college essays #it's also a lot messier than a lot of my college essays #i don't go that deep deep into analysis and word choice like i normally would #but i think y'all can get my points #tl;dr: fuck horikoshi and fuck endeavour ty very much #mentions of child abuse //#mentions of domestic abuse //#mentions of suicide //#mentions of murder //

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