#(( crack ))

[shxxtteredfantasy]

"I'm with the other me on this. NO FAN CLUB!!"

[frost-eyed-autumn]

✏️ (Regulus and Kunikida, only if you want to)

Eᴠᴇɴ Mᴏʀᴇ Iɴᴄᴏʀʀᴇᴄᴛ Qᴜᴏᴛᴇs Gᴇɴᴇʀᴀᴛᴏʀ!

Regulus: They called me the B-word. Chuuya: Motherfucker doesn’t start with ‘b’.

Regulus: You’re so funny! Chuuya: Thanks; I’m desperate for people to like me.

Regulus: You know what I’ve realized? Chuuya: Some thoughts are better left unsaid? Regulus: Nice try, anyways-

Regulus: Do you know a turtles only weakness? Chuuya: No... well, their slowness. Regulus: Their weaknesss is they can't roll over when they are on their backs. Regulus: Now I have a plan. Regulus: If I duct tape two turtles together, they'll be unstoppable.

Chuuya: What state do you live in? Kunikida: I live in a state of constant anxiety.

Chuuya: Standing next to sunflowers always makes me feel weak like ‘look at this fucking flower. This flower is taller than I am. This flower is winning and I’m losing.’ Kunikida: Wow, you are not ready to hear about trees.

Chuuya: You’re alive. Kunikida: No need to sound so disappointed.

Kunikida: That's a nice arguement, Chuuya Why don't you back it up with a source? Chuuya: My source is that I made it the fuck up!

[tenebrisxregem]

[pxnxply]

"No way the kinslayer in chief is talking shit about me."

[roosterjournal]

NYC's Notorious 20-Year-Old Drug Dealer Arrested Again with Crack and Heroin

In a striking case that highlights ongoing challenges in New York City’s fight against drug-related crime, 20-year-old Brandon Hunter, dubbed “the worst drug dealer,” has been arrested again after previously being detained multiple times for similar offenses. This arrest marks the third time he has been apprehended in a very specific area of Midtown Manhattan, which raises pressing questions…

[undyingmedium]

Fun fact: I dreamt of the "smog monster" between the 8th and the 9th of August, 2017. Four years later, its eyes were changed to green and it became the Deep One. Osirion is supposed to be a summer boi.

[gerbfukc]

Reincarnation au, but Azula's obsessed with karaoke

Prompt: Scrolling down on her phone while biting her lips, she thinks of how wondrous this world was. So many of the same bitter people, but by Agni, the technology proves to be fascinating nevertheless.

Where Azula discovers an embarrassing love for karaoke. Oh, and she reincarnated into a modern world, but that's not as important.

(Extra notes: there's no bending in this world or anything that similar to the world Azula once knew; she's silent and full on catonic for the first three years of her life to process her death and everything, which causes Ozai to ignore her in disappointment; he eventually divorces Ursa, deeming her to be the reason why his children have all turned out to be failures; he gets arrested soon after for massive tax fraud.

Azula's still fabulously wealthy because this Ursa is based off of cartoon Ursa, who was a noblewoman, so modern!Ursa comes from an old money family that has declined in prestige over the generations; Azula still has her bending, but it's not the focal point here; this fic is literally crack and fluff only; angsty moments occassionlly pop up, but will not be prominent.

In Azula's past life, Ursa infected her with a secret love for the arts, particularly operas and such; the first time she heard music coming from the car's radio, she spoke; Ursa cries because it's the first time she's ever heard Azula talk, and her baby girl sounds so wonderful; this becomes a bonding session for them to share; car rides are quiet in the beginning because Zuko usually naps on the way to school (his school is 20-30 minutes away from home); after he gets dropped off at his school first, Ursa will turn on the car's radio and they'll both sit in silence while listening to music on the way to Azula's school; this is also one of the few times Azula is okay with her mom holding her hand while using the other one to steer the car wheel.

The internet becomes a treasure trove of endless fascination for her, but karaoke remains her kryptonite; basically just a slice-of-life kind of story where Azula falls into hijinks to hide her massive love of karaoke from everybody who knows her; she gets a part-time job at an obscure, underground karaoke place, but uses a fake identity; she has a coworker named June who she definitely doesn't pay off to look the other way just because June clocked out Azula's real age)

[ancientforgcd]

"Apparently the only difference between "Peak Human Physique" and "Superhuman" is whether or not you can fly."

[arachnaemboss]

INCOMING TEXT MESSAGE

Val < Zestial:

In case you forgot what I look like.

  FIRST TIME SEEING YOU, sorry. Who are you supposed to be?

[kenobienthusiast]

Time travel au where Obi-Wan is sent back to AOTC era. Nothing changes, except now he has a deathsticks dealer

[rrdcooc]

When I was a young boy My father, who also was a young boy Just not when I was young

[frost-eyed-autumn]

✏️ - lippmann and iceman

Eᴠᴇɴ Mᴏʀᴇ Iɴᴄᴏʀʀᴇᴄᴛ Qᴜᴏᴛᴇs Gᴇɴᴇʀᴀᴛᴏʀ!

Chuuya: So you're looking for information on this thing, huh? Well, I feel like it must be from far away. Lippman: What makes you say that? Chuuya: If it's something even I don't know about, then I'm sure nobody else must have a clue. So it's gotta be from some faraway place. Impeccable reasoning, isn't it? Lippman: Chuuya... You don't have a clue about this thing, do you? Chuuya: *screams in anger*

Chuuya: But seriously, what is the real plan here that has to do with not fucking around? Lippman: There is no plan that does not involve fucking around. But we will make sure all of our fucking around will be applied in a constructive direction.

Chuuya: Guess what I'm about to get! Iceman: On my nerves.

Chuuya: Might I make a suggestion you possibly won’t like? Iceman: Do you make any other kind?

Lippman: Chuuya and I were crossing the street, and this man drove by and honked at us. Iceman: What did you do? Lippman: They chased him to the next red light, and reached into his window, and- Chuuya: *walking in* Who wants a steering wheel?

Lippman: You really believe in Chuuya? Iceman: Mmm��� Luckily, they believe in themself enough for the both of us.

Iceman: Do you ever get pre-annoyed? Like you already know someone is going to piss you off? Lippman: What? No, I— Chuuya: *enters room* Iceman: *jaw clenches*

[tenebrisxregem]

I swear to whatever infernal powers that be if I get my hands on that damn Belmont. And maybe his descendants too.

Mark my words they won't be stomping on anyone's lawn anymore.

[cynthiaandsamus]

Well, maybe they're roommates like you guys.

"Oh my god, they were roommates."

"Wait... we're more than roommates right?"

[muggsyandfriends]

"Am I--"

"OOP"

"..."

This has been the first crack post on this blog. Thank you.

[trashyvanillabean]

Why am I imagining Huaiyan chasing after some thug with one of those itty bitty guns with those tiny barrels—