#(( but at the same time if anyone is mean to you other than me theyre gonna catch these hands ))
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learning abt friendship decay and "not reaching out to your friends for months at a time unprompted is not neurotypical behaviour" has me feeling a certain way
#experiencing some BIG FEELINGS OVER THIS REVELATION#listen i have never ever been bothered abt not seeing someone in a while or making time to talk to them bc in my mind its like not thst muc#time has passed. i mean it with every fibre of my being that when im like 'oh its ok even though we havent talked in a while and have our#own things going on it doesnt mean we're not friends anymore since we left things on a good note 8 months ago' i sincerely believe that#and for the longest time i just thought everybody makes peace with it at some point and not automatically assuming the other person doesnt#wanna talk to me anymore or smth. my longest lasting friendships are with ppl who work the same way i just thouhght that was normal#whatever organ everybody has that makes them reach out to their friends and plan hang outs i probably dont have it#i was already hesitant to ask out Alex bc i spend almost every waking hour doing smth that isnt talking to ppl unless they happen to be in#the vicinity. and at first it was bc i planned on making sure i had everything set up so i dont get stressed out and do it one at a time#but then i find out theres a friendship decay mechanic? and after dating and marrying someone you lose -10 friendship points for every#day u dont talk to them?? actually ive probably been losing friendship points this whole time without knowing bc of this?????#and i notice a lot of my own habits are also reflected in how i play bc ive been avoiding getting close to pierre and marnie since its more#of a professional relationship. like i know theyre npcs but im approaching it the way i would in real life its fucking nuts#i think its a little relieving im playing /as/ a character than myself bc as im playing im just making up little interactions in my head#than approaching things the way i would myself so it takes a bit of the stress off trying to put myself in there as a spectator. but well#being in a relationship demands a certain amount of energy even more so when theyre things that already take up energy on its own#like making time to talk to your partner and make sure they know theyre loved. i dont always have energy to put all my mental focus into it#and this is true for real life so im not really bothered by not dating anyone. but when its a game and i want my character to be with someo#and i know its fully optional and i know i could just apply the same logic to this i dont /want/ to. sometimes i want to experience#the same things other people do at least to a certain degree without the same emotional andmental stakes#no offense krobus#yapping#stardew#stardew valley#puppy plays sdv#sdv#this game has me by the ankles man
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alright i finished this so i need to celebrate my accomplishment (???) by sharing it to the world
BETTER versions of my trio designs. because boo boo the other old ones were BORING and TOO SIMPLE and lowhighkey UGLY. i had no idea what i was thinking when i made this but i guess design notes before to see if i can figure out what the fuck these mean 💀
killer🔪:3
he got a GLOW UP!!! when i was figuring him out i was thinking like. this man needs to look combat ready he CANNOT look chill and relaxed he MUST look good to fight. killer can't catch a break 💀 anyways. it's ALSO not revealing (⁎˃ᴗ˂⁎) because i feel he would NOT wear that stuff cmon flirty =/= revealing. his charms are found through his words and actions (stabbing someone through the heart) (speaking of the heart i couldn't be bothered to draw his soul mb)
the gloves/shirt/leggings under his clothes may LOOK seperate. but its actually all one big piece!!! because i thought it would be silly and funny :3 but like on a serious note i like this because it provides an extra layer of protection (both in a fight and not) and like. a sense of anonymity i guess??? like you can't see killer's natural body you cant SEE who he was before because hes changed that much (or i guess HE cant see who he was b4 wtvr)
actually a lot of killer's outfit has meaning behind it. knee pads = unnatural body imitation killer is a whole new being now not monster (also adding 2 the combat look :3) belts = restraint killer needs to stay in line and do as he's ordered (i needed some visual interest 💀) zippers on shoes?? actually no meaning i just thought it would be cute. somehow i managed to find meanings 4 all of the trio's zippers. killer's is jammed in that spot. show like idk he is irreversibly changed to what he is now (a lot of this makes no sense)
horror 🪓 :3
if you remove all the rips in the clothes he'd be the most basic out of all of them. but theyre there so he's NOT the most basic! 4 horror i was thinking like "you can see he's fucked up but you can also see he's desperately trying to keep it together" type feel. i totally didnt steal those under socket lines (thank you mania and paranoia for donating to your og versions :3) to make horror look more 🌀🌀🌀 (cannot describe it)
the cloak was stolen from undyne trust. he wears it as a power move FUCK YOU!!! to her :3 also it looks royal and regal which could kinda show like horror's power and sway over snowdin. he's DEFINITELY not a king but he is a provider and a lot of what he says goes around those parts. a lot of ppl look to him as like world's shittiest leader(ish). also i just wanted him to have something unique!
underneath horror's jacket his shirt is reaaaally torn he should probably replace it. there are some holes from when he was pinned down with spears during the core incident and then the whole lower half is just totally torn off from that one comic 💀 but thats why the jacket is zipped up! however the zipper broke and now the jacket can't unzip! (because horror struggles with the fact that horrortale ISNT gonna be perpetually shitty (everyone say thanks aliza) and would rather nobody see him vulnerable)
dust🧣:3
i didn't change much about him lowkey he's pretty much wearing the same CLOTHES. just that the style and way he's wearing them changed. wanted him to give like,,,,, comfy (because bro did not change out of his sansish clothes) but also like FOCUSED o(≧口≦)o like horror he has the under socket line but thats just to make him look more stressed and tired
i moved around the scarf to NOT be around his neck bc it was sooo annoying drawing the hood and then having to account for the scarf. it kind gave him a baby face vibe which i did NOT like. also i think dust would wear the scarf however. very versatile as long as the scarf remains intact. so it COULD go around waist COULD be around neck COULD be around limbs
i didn't mean to do this but the black thingy around his shoulders (was originally there just to fill in the empty space without the scarf there 💀) could be seen as like mourning wear. again with the silly zipper symbolism but dust's zipper is fine its not broken like horror or killer's are because he chose to go down this path. dust CHOSE to zip it up and now its too late to go back now (so bro MUST power through ‼️‼️ he cant unzip the zipper now!!!!)
overall i like these. usually i like coming up with cool unique character designs its so fun but my trio was hard (im hard). probably bc i didnt wanna make then wear anything too weird Dx BUT NOW AT LEAST THEY ALL LOOK LESS BABY!!!! i think i depicted how i see them though like ughhh cannot explain but now they look like how i want them to sound
#i love love LOVE the cloak i gave horror its so fun and silly#it makes him feel so much more im better than you superior asshole vibes#these were inspired by like some old mtt but girl drawings i made a year ago and never showed anyone#so like. i feel like it shouldve been MORE fem looking than the olds ones but surprisingly not#they look gender neutral now!!!! YES!!!!!! mtt just skeletons could look fem or masc but i dont think they would#so they wear clothing in between!!! besides if i wanted to make them girly i have jk fashion au for that#i said no slutty killer but i feel that way for all of them. they wouldn't go around shirtless or wearing tight clothing#they are covered up i swear. none of these fucks are comfortable enough with themselves and anyone else to wear anything revealing#me when i see killer or horror with no shirt on (PUT ON A SHIRT!!! ESPECIALLY KILLER!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING SHIRTLESS THAT EXPOSES YOUR SOUL#and horror's probably scrawny and his bones are brittle so why would be expose them to the elements even more 😭😭 AND he lives in snowdin#something something dust and horror have more classic similar smiles while killers isnt#i was just bullshitting with the mourning outfit dust thing but from the upper half he lowkey does look like it#like a grief stricken depressed maiden. what a surprise that he feels bad after killing everyone he loves#i drew killer with knives here but what i really wanted to draw were like chained blades. sickles. a sword. other blades than just a knife#i actually was gonna draw my trio with different weapons 😭😭 but then i got sidetracked and just drew them with different clothes#when i was drawing dust i was like OH SHIT HE LOOKS WAAAAY TOO MUCH LIKE CLASSIC SANS.#it was unnerving. this is why i give them all different eye shapes to differentiate them!#now they all look more serious and grown up. even tho theyre all grown adult fucking men and damn horror's like 30#dust and killer look more ready to fight and horror looks more like. authoritative???? idk but its a good look 4 then#i desillyfied them. i /srsed them. i got rid of all the fun and whimsy but its ok i guess. maybe these will be easier to draw at least#UGHHH now i have to memorize these designs. only downside.....#now they all dont look similar or like branches of eachother. idk how to feel about that#prior they were clearly all connected. like a precure team they had differences but the overall vibe was the same#does this mean i have to change the mst's outfits to fit with the mtt's now 😭😭 dont wanna!! i dont wanna redraw the mst!!!#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#murder time trio#utmv#tricule art
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dudes ive hit a point with The Horrors:tm: where im unable to convince myself that any of my friends actually like me
#vent#it's like. i think im a pretty solid guy#my negative traits dont define my view of myself etc#i understand that if someone doesnt ike me it doesnt mean im horible etc#but like. i am unable to believe that anyone wants to be around me#even if someone explicitly says they want to talk to me/want to hang out/enjoy my presence#im like hmm. well. sounds fake.#and again it's not like i think im an unlovable piece of shit or something#i just dont think anyone is being honest with me#like i rarely notice hints or subtext or passive aggression when people talk to me#but im simultaneously excessively sensitive and will be like 'wait do they hate me now' if someone sends like an all lowercase one word tex#because it's like. oh no what if they actually ARE hinting that they dont like me. etc#most of the time when i get 'god shut the fuck up' vibes theres not actually anything wrong#BUT because theres been so many times that i MISSED the 'god shut the fuck up' vibes#i automatically assume everyone is mad at me/doesnt like me/doesnt want t talk.#even trying to say 'usually im wrong about people being mad' is extremely difficult#bc im like. fully convinced ive been right every time#and that everyone has just been lying t me#this has been a thing since like. age 14+ for me#but lately it's gotten worse#and like im scared to even dm a friend a meme because they might be mad (they literally sent me a song rec earlier. i have no reason to#assume theyre mad. except when i got the messages i was like 'oh no what if this has a hidden meaning')#it's one of those things where like. my anxiety medication works really well#but this is the flavor of anxiety thats inspired by past experiences#s even if i try to tell myself there arent any signs that theyre mad/annoyed/whatever#i immediately think 'but ive been wrong before.'#and then that same loop stops me from asking. because asking either annoys people or they lie to me about it#idk idk idk im tired#even if i did ask i wouldnt believe any answer other than 'yes im mad/annoyed/whatever'#including if they add 'i just need to be alone right now' or 'yes but not at you' or 'yes and i need to cool off'
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everyday I join lethal company lobby to Just Vibe and am sent Multiple Friend Request
#help#SORRY im good at video games and fun to hang out with its a CURSE not a blessing#sea of thieves was the same too man every lobby falls in love with me and i just want to play with strangers for a bit#why the instant commitment geez dinner and a movie first#and HALF the time its like bruh you called lootbugs gay no more than 20 minutes ago and you try to friend my fag ass you YOU FUCKING YOUUUU#and the other half theyre just. not my style? had more great times with randos online than i could count but not once met someone who like#i would think about continuing to hang with?#kind of a shame given this is my main recreation? feels like id have made at least one lasting buddy out of the hundreds i played like#3 hours of sea of thieves with one time or something#now to circle back this could Perhaps be due to me not accepting friend requests#but i will circumvent this issue by means of not confronting it#anyway it's fun playing with randos. hoppin in a lobby of strangers is like a jack-in-the-box of the human experience#lots of austrailians on at my 3 am makes for great convos. i sure as hell aint meeting any out in this fuckin city#or anyone else in funky distant timezones#this place is a white suburban hell and this is nearly my only decent recreation and cultural exposure pls#IM NOT EVEN THAT COOL everytime it happens i think of the hercules hades “He's a GUY' line like cmon
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my schedule and my classes are so fucking awful and i am filled with more contempt and vitriol than ever this year
#cannot even begin to complain on the level that my art teacher deserves this year but by god i will try#first she starts with a ban on headphones and earbuds LIKE GIRL!#what do you mean for me to listen to. the sound of every possible obnoxious junior in one class#the ugly fucking rich white boy senior#and the girl who likes to take embarrassing photos of everyone including her friends and post them on instagram#AND her repeating the same few directions every single day for 30 minutes because she loves the sound of her own voice??#second the way she talks actually just pisses me off#she is a worse speaker than me which is saying something she will just go on and on and on#someone will ask her a question and she will mention like 5 famous artists like theyre obscure and as if high schoolers know who they are#WE GET IT!! YOU WENT TO RISD!! YOU KNOW WHO BAUHAUS IS!!#its so pretentious and not helpful at all and she will take the other hour and a half to only talk to one of her favorite students#no one asked. no one is going to google fucking mondrian okay please be realistic#shes both so serious and so silly. this class is a college level course if you dont think u can do it switch to choir#also every senior has to have a direction and a theme for the rest of the year regardless of whether youre even taking the test#fucking bitch do you think anyone has a choice its literally impossible to switch in high school#i would literally much rather be singing the national anthem or whatever i would do anything to escape the idea of having a THEME#i am not going to develop deep involved ideas in three classes and you should go die if you think i care enough to be drawing for school#outside of class time. i am literally cooler and already a better artist than you are#if you would like to talk about cliches in art i will pull up your ugly basic portfolio right now you dick#never met anyone less suited to being an art teacher i hope the school burns down#im not suicidal im not a suicidal person but every time i have to be in that room all my will to live just is lost#she hates me personally too she's always on my ass about anything and everything and also will not help me if i do ask#like what does she want me to do about it? take initiative? if i wanted to develop as an artist i would not be listening to her#she said she wanted 50 hours a week outside of class. i Wil shoot myself by the way. top ten people i would blame in my suicide letter.#honestly i can deal with first period PE i can deal with having that ugly rich white boy in my chem and my cs and my lit and my civics but.#art class.#god i hope he dies too instead of any of the 7 people i like at this school in any of my classes i have a mansplainer#anyways i feel a mild cold and my period coming on im normal i prommy#also every time i step into the school building i get a headache#its like the deodorant perfume cologne combined with the stench of everyone having mandatory pe for 5/6 years
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Love atheist communities that hate Christianity but reproduce every single issue Christianity has right down to the racism, wild misogyny, and of all fuckin things evangelizing atheism by sending religious people rude ass 'gotcha' type reactionary content to like idk, recruit people to atheism the way Certian Brands of Christian recruit literally anyone to their religion.
Like yes this atheism is what I see a lot of white men participating in, but like how dense do you have to be to only ditch the GOD part of religion and nothing else while claiming you're intellectually superior to religious folks like a great many incredibly talented and smart people in various sciences weren't religious?
#winters ramblings#its so funny that the so called 'skeptic' communities on youtube and reddit claimed ti be SOOOOO skeptical of things#but never took a fuckin second to check their misogyny or racism and badically applied shite christian values to everything they do#but think they arent doing that because they openly denounce god. like bestie youre doing ALL the same shit i have a problem with#in teligious spaces except you have the balls to claim youre inherently smarter and more intellectual#which is why youre SO SMART you cant figure out how to be a halfway decent human being#like its so funny when i see athiests like this around where it feels like religion is the only thing they felt held them back#and not in the ways PoC queer people and women deal with- THEIR athiesm is usually rooted in#'christians told me i was black because i have the curse of ham and thats fucking racist as shit' or some other discrimination event#plus your average religious truama and in my case just a lack of desire to participate in religion and also no belief in it#but then you have white dudes whove never had a real problem in their life doing all the same shit as them Nasty Christians they rail on#without a H I N T of the irony while also wondering why it is that their spaces seem so... homogeneous lmao#almost like women PoC and queer people know all you did was reject the GOD bit not any of the underlying discrimination tendencies#no need for them to unpack that i guess because theyre Very Smart Skeptics they dont seem to think#that they believe just as much dumb shit as any religious or non religious folks out there except theyre insufferable about it#also the nonsense of science being inherently opposed to religion like tell me you know nothing about the history of science#without saying you have NO IDEA what youre talking about. so much science was trying to understand gods creations#science and god arent diametrically opposed to each other and in fact went hand in hand for a long time#not as much any more but ill bet a huge number of scientists are still religious because being smart#doesnt mean youre an athiest like HELLO youre not smarter than anyone for not believing in god#the same way you arent smarter or better FOR believing in god lmao
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{ I love heatwave and quickshadows dynamic }
#{ pinky screeches; ooc }#(( they are constantly on eachothers nerves but like all in good faith kinda way ))#(( like i hate you but not in a literal sense but in a im going to eat your wendys frosty kinda way ))#(( but at the same time if anyone is mean to you other than me theyre gonna catch these hands ))#{ what are they up to now?; dash commentary }
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yet again wondering when ill realize that certain people do not change and are always going to try to fuck me up ):
#self#basically this friend i have who is....an enigma#we have had like 3 or 4 falling outs bc shes a fucking psychopath and loses her shit a few times a year since ive known her#anyways last night she came at me WRECKLESS claiming shes been told i said some horrible ass shit about her that i Literally Did Not#and she said some mean ass shit to me#anyways....i keep trying to pretend like its not effecting me but like....no it fucking sucks to have someone you were incredibly close with#just decide theyre going to believe other people over you#she was being so mean and i made it so ungodly obvious that i dont feel negatively about her and that i genuinely just wish her well#and everyone ive talked to about it that knows her just keeps trying to get me to block her and all say the same hateful stuff they always#used to when it comes to her...which trust me at this point i fucking get it#but i hate that i still want to defend her after she refused to listen to me and basically called me a charity case#fun fact cunt!! i actually have other friends and people who genuinely want me around meanwhile besides me all you have is friends who have#told me they think you are literally dangerous and scary and you have your mom and shitty fiance and your god damn baby#but sure im the fucking charity case#im also just....i am too fucking old for this shit and shes even older than me and has a god damn kid like im begging you just mature a bit#not to god damn mention she blamed every single one of her problems on me NEWSFLASH no i didnt sister#that was all you and your doing!!!#anyways sorry for the rant and god bless anyone who read these tags i am So Sorry
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Kfkdks
#messages from knave#im making breakfast and im gonna list my observations from three years of weird living situations#younger siblings of big age gaps will see most interactions as a form of soft combat until trained out of it#but when actual clmbat happens they're used to not having any sway so they don't actually know how to act in arguments#siblings with codependent relationships have their own internal langauge that they apply to others. not sure if they realize they do it#but they'll hold you to the same rules they've mentally created for each other without explaining them#siblings of ALL stripes will approach situations with a set idea of how communication works. and even if it's not a logical way to communica#they'll expect you to also communicate in that way. and if you can't or refuse they'll shut down and communication stalls completely because#they can't fathom doing it any other way except the way they and their siblings socialized each other to do it#siblings with adversarial relationships don't take outside advice and will take attempts to give advice as manipulative. not their fault#oldest siblings are the most conflict averse people on the planet. oldest sinlings say#'is anyone gonna balloon this situation out of proportion by avoiding it for as long as possible' and not wait for an answer#siblings who were regularly appointed as hall monitors will see any interaction with you as transactional#a hallmark of a dysfunctional sibljng relationship is someone who thinks telling you NO is worse than going through a situation they do not#wanna be in. and then they'll complain about it endlessly#and then they'll be like 'i don't want favours from my parents because they'll hold it over me' and never make the connection on their own#people cannot anticipate your needs with their minds. they are sometimes going to ask you to be a part of things you don't wanna#you're NEVER gonna be able to live in a world where people will stop asking you to be a part of things that's not feasible#had one say once 'people should just know not to ask me along for plans I can't get to people should know not to invite me'#and you know dude that's just now how stuff works. there's a difference between 'x cant drive so they can't help me move my dresser' and#'i know xs work schedule so i shouldnt infomr them of group plansnon the off chance they could make it so they don't feel left out'#people with hyper competitive siblings can't fathom that other people won't know how to do stuff. i don't just mean athletes but siblings#with that scarcity mindsetnin general like they can't handle people not having the same knowledge base they have. it's a survival thing#and NO having a life of suffering doesn't make you correct all the time has literally anyone else watched heathers#youngest siblings always have the most deranged dating stories and the oldest in a set of age gap siblings always has the WORST taste in men#< that's directed at my sister and no one else that's a personal diss not a real observation#only children have one thing. theyre SUPER weird about splitting the grocery bill#food is NOT communal to only children I've learned firsthand. Also they'll be perfectly fine sharing anything else BUT food usually#weed. loans. bathroom supplies. dishes. ect. but NOT food#meanwhile sibljngs are a little TOO comfortable chowing down on stuff they didn't buy. bad roommates are bad roommates
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newsies — MV1 (smau)
pairing: max verstappen x musical theater fem!reader faceclaim; kara lindsay !
summary: when lando drags max to his favorite musical, max takes a liking to the leading lady
warnings: none!
a/n: this is 100% made for me, i can't shut up abt newsies or jeremy jordan... sooo why not combine my two loves (newsies and f1 😁)
masterlist !
⋆ ˚ 。 ⋆ ୨୧ ˚
yourusername just posted !
liked by jeremymjordan, landonorris and 11,037 others
yourusername NEWSIES OPENS ON BROADWAY IN ONE WEEK WHAT IS LIFE
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user1 tickets have been secured since last year IM SO EXCITED
user2 oh to get a hug from jeremy jordan 😞
jeremymjordan IM EXCITED ARE YOU EXCITED
yourusername I CAN'T SIT STILL JERE
user3 "jere" they're too cute 😭😭
mikefaist guess who has a front row seat 😁
yourusername MIKEEE 🥹🥹
user4 OH MY GOD ITS HAPPENING OKAY EVERYBODY STAY CALM
user5 oh i've been waiting YEARS to see y/n in a broadway musical
landonorris missing fp1 to be there 🫡
yourusername lando no that's your job??
landonorris not that important 🤷♂️ plus there's someone i want you to meet
user6 someone to meet?? another driver??
yourusername just posted !
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yourusername opening night, race weekend, and max picking me up from rehearsals! (eventful week if you ask me)
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user1 ABSOLUTELY LOVED THE SHOW!!!!!!!!
user2 y/n and jeremy being the power duo on stage IKTR!!
user3 lando looks like he's hating the rain 😭
user4 WAIT PAUSE WHATS MAX DOING THERE
user5 PICKING HER UP TOO??????
landonorris your fault i dnf'd ☹️
yourusername not my fault it was raining??
user6 WAIT WHAT IF MAX WAS THE ONE LANDO BROUGHT WITH HIM TO OPENING NIGHT
user7 oh your onto something
maxverstappen1 still can't believe you know how to tap dance AND sing at the same time
yourusername i'd say it's harder to be on broadway than it is being an f1 driver
maxverstappen1 no need to go around lying on social media sweetheart
twitter !
yourusername just posted !
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yourusername spent my time off with this guy, anyone know who he is?
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user1 he's so pookie ugh
jeremymjordan come back to new york ben and mike won't shut up about you (i guess i miss you too)
yourusername only if max can come too
user2 the duo i didn't know i needed
user3 okay but what's max's favorite newsies song 👀
maxverstappen1 i think he's a formula one driver, could be mistaken
yourusername thanks for clearing that up!
user4 max slowly becoming all of y/n's feed is so entertaining
user5 y/n and max the unexpected duo i didn't know i needed
landonorris you didn't hang out with me 😔😔😔
yourusername sorry max is just better company???
twitter !
yourusername just posted !
liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 305,984 others
yourusername when f1 update accounts expose you and your boyfriend 😞😞
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user1 SO IT WAS THEM??????
user2 PLS THE CAPTION SHE'S TOO FUNNY
maxverstappen1 the secret was coming out sooner or later love
yourusername i know but now we can't soft launch ☹️☹️
user3 THE CUTEST COUPLE ON THE GRID
landonorris call me cupid 😏
yourusername no
maxverstappen1 no
user4 NEW BF MAX CONTENT IM SO READY
jeremymjordan proud to say i knew before twitter did 😁
maxverstappen1 just posted !
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maxverstappen1 dating y/n means listening to the newsies soundtrack on repeat ❤️
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user1 THE MIDDLE SLIDE THEYRE TOO CUTE
user2 this had to mean max has a fav newsies song omg
jeremymjordan take care of her please
maxverstappen1 never plan on stopping
user3 y/n's bway bf 🤝 y/n's real bf
landonorris CALL. ME. CUPID.
maxverstappen1 still no
user4 THEY'RE MY EVERYTHING OMG
yourusername i don't think you can have your phone out in the theater sir 🤨🤨
yousuername but seriously you love the newsies soundtrack
maxverstappen1 i never said that
yourusername so what do you go to all the shows for??
maxverstappen1 my beautiful talented stunning girlfriend of course 😉
#shelbi writes#keerysfreckles#max verstappen#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen x fem!reader#max verstappen x female!reader#max verstappen x you#max verstappen x y/n#max verstappen x fem reader#max verstappen x female reader#max verstappen f1#max verstappen smau#max verstappen fic#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen fanfic#f1#f1 fic#f1 smau#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#newsies#newsies broadway#f1 x reader#f1 x you#f1 x y/n
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when people talk about naruto's repression they kind of miss a crucial element which is that it actually makes complete sense.
firstly from the power perspective, simply put, by its very nature he requires repression to function on a most basic level. this is opposite to the sharingan, which thrives on huge displays of emotion. im going to assume that the reason this is missed is because it runs counter to the personality traits each character is known for: the "emotionless, calm and cool" one actually is constantly accessing and expressing the most powerful of emotions, and the "expressive, empathetic and emotionally honest" one is actually warring with letting true emotions come to the surface. comparatively, when you look at starfire and raven from teen titans, you see that their personalities reflect their power. starfire is bright and expressive because thats how she best accesses her powers, and raven is subdued, controlled and calculated in order to control her powers. this means that contrary to popular belief, naruto isnt starfire-- naruto is raven. there are actually a few moments where you are subtly shown just how calculated naruto's displays of emotion are, and how they are reinforced in such a way (context is naruto being saddened that his request for parental affection was rebuffed):
which brings me to my second point: socialization. this part is straightforward. from itachi actively causing and incentivizing hatred and anger, to various mentors/people of influence (eg. kakashi) remaining silent at clear expressions of violent anger-- these negative emotions are not punished or discouraged when it come to the context theyre in. why? they are beneficial to the agenda of various characters. the revenge plot only starts being punished when its disadvantageous to the state. remember that there is a monetary value attached to the murder of itachi uchiha, and this is actually a common way to earn money. when you look at naruto, there is never a single instance when naruto is encouraged or even tolerated for having these emotions. the only exception who does this leaves him due to their own parallel struggle (side note: this is why naruto distinctly says the reason for his obsession is that this person accepted him more than anyone else, given this person is the only one who saw naruto's pain and anger and actually blamed his aggressors for it). naruto, raised implicitly to know that everyone seeks to be a tool of the state, and that in his case this is not just a choice but a requirement for his humanity. iruka's acknowledgment of naruto comes with an indication of possession, implying conditionality. people like kakashi, hiruzen, and others in positions of influence witness the abuse he faces, and ignore it or groom him into accepting the idea that he should appeal to his abusers for eventual acceptance. naruto meets gaara, someone with the same condition as him, but with radically different circumstances. whereas naruto's condition symbolically papers over his pain over time, gaara's is self-protective and defensive against his pain. gaara also occupies a position of power as the member of a royal family, and has siblings who are afraid of him but do hold some level of affection towards him. gaara's feelings of loneliness, while rational, come from a different place than naruto's. for gaara, he is surrounded by community that he doesnt know how to access. naruto has no community, he needs to find a way to forge one, but even when he does it is superficial. this dynamic is repeated in his introduction to killer bee, who from an early age is granted family and institutional protection. this isnt to say that the treatment of jinchuriki is ethical or healthy, but that naruto's situation is actually uniquely oppressive. kushina is the closest naruto gets to someone who validates this pain, but she cannot truly relate to him because she is never cripplingly alone (again, not to say her life was not difficult or oppressive or traumatic) and the object of her affections returns those feelings consistently and early on. naruto's trauma is thus compounded over and over by the conflict his need for his specific love interest causes: naruto is only tolerated as a weapon of the state, and in order to be an effective one he needs to love and be loved, but his love interest who allows him these negative emotions is an enemy of the state, leading to further isolation/tension from the state and pushing him towards the love interest.
as such, i actually think naruto does remarkably well at balancing this conflict and tension in a way that keeps him functional. though, obviously and eventually the compounding of his trauma and the repression of his pain is something that needs to be addressed. the only person who is capable of doing this in a way that puts naruto's wellbeing first ("when i saw you in pain...i also felt pain" and the subsequent frequent moments of protection and defence) only reunites with him at the end of the manga, so you never get to see that actually happen.
im assuming the reason why a lot of this is missed is partially because through framing this repression as positive through the majority of the manga (aside from naruto's own personal thoughts), the reader is never really forced to decide how they feel about the concept unlike the inherent conflict of the radical revenge plot. the other part is the grander, underlying allegory in the naruto story which is the varied manifestations AND expressions of trauma. through readers' responses and attention to certain individuals in the naruto story, you can learn how they relate to and look at trauma. to me, naruto himself is actually the example of a trauma victim who shows a brave face and thus isnt recognized. naruto is the woman who puts on makeup to cover the bruises to go to work a day after she is assaulted. who tells herself that she must have some part in it, so it isnt abuse. maybe she grew up in a family where no one answered when she cried, so she learned to keep it moving and stop crying.
lastly, on a greater scale, people also forget a crucial aspect of "yin/yang" is that things with a large properties of one, by nature will also come with a small amount of the opposite. thats what the smaller inner dots represent.
a more surface level example of this is that naruto's face is brash, large, and masculine-- these are yang traits and they are predominant in his appearance. however, looking closely at his rounded cheeks and eyes and the soft nature of his eye colour, there are subtle yin elements. naruto's "positivity" or "optimism" is fueled by a certain level of negative repression.
#naruto analysis#naruto meta#naruto#naruto uzumaki#uzumaki naruto#sasunaru#narusasu#pro naruto uzumaki#uh who are relevant characters to tag here#gaara#kushina uzumaki#sasuke#sasuke uchiha#uchiha sasuke#the rest is up to god#i wrote this in one go so typos are expected
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I got an idea but not sure if you are comfortable to write or not.
Poly!NiktoKrueger x reader. I feel like these two are going to be so much fun, especially in bed.
i whole heartedly assumed that it was way too early for me to actually start getting requests! ive hardly had this account up for 24 hours! this excites me to know that ive peaked peoples interests!!
and of course, i havent thought too much of krueger as of late, so i may not portray him too well.
poly!niktokrueger x reader thoughts! both sfw and nsfw, dont worry
sfw
despite the two men being on active duty and neither seeming to be touchy or affectionate people, they happen to make great lovers. between niktos voices calming down with kruegers unneeded usage of german, usually so nikto can zone out, and just your calming aura calming his head down, its not as hectic as youd imagine.
of course, if you didnt know any german or russian going into this, oh boy will you know at least how to speak a bit of each within a few months.
krueger is the one out of the two thats constantly using petnames and sweet talk on the two of you. he adores giving you two gifts, usually something as simple as little notes that he hand wrote. these notes tend to have both an english and a german translation.
the names he calls the two of you vary, but usually stick to the same theme. he is big on the use of "mein". making it known constantly that youre both his, and that he wouldnt think of separating.
your nicknames from your austrian boyfriend are "schatz" and "maus". his name for nikto is "spatzi", although he interchangibly uses "liebe" and "liebling" on both of you.
your russian boyfriend on the other hand isnt a huge fan of nicknames or many loving gestures. he finds it very difficult to express himself, especially with constant arguing going on inside his head about how he should react.
that being said, hes more of the acts of service type of guy. he knows all too well that you can simply take care of yourself, but when hes home he has a knack for telling you to shut up as he quietly does mundane things. washing the dishes (yells and curses at you and krueger if you try helping), tying your shoelaces for you, and even bathing you. its his way of showing that he really does care, even if he doesnt or cant show it in any other way.
i feel like theyd both be a bit overprotective with each other, constantly deployed at around the same times, usually ending up grouped together when deployed at the same areas. meaning theyd also be a bit obsessive protective of you. youre theirs, body mind, and soul. all theirs.
nsfw
being protective, if anyone ever tried to chance the fact that you were theirs, theyd stick a bullet in the person. although, theyd probably joke about pinning and fucking you over the dead body... although youre hoping that its all just a joke.
as nice as it would be in bed, whenever the two of them get home from a long deployment, theyre all over you. nikto being a bit more touchy than usual, rubbing your shoulders and your back. while krueger on the other hand is acting like some needy mutt, almost sitting on his knees in front of you, trying to lean his cheek against your thigh, slowly tugging his face covering to offer up his mouth.
both men tend to be more dominant leading, going at it as more of a duo than anything. although, if there had to be one who was the ultimate dominant, it would be krueger. explaining to nikto just how to do things to make whatever it is feel great, either to whoever was within niktos grasp or even nikto himself.
some nights its you on your back, spread across the shared bed as nikto uses your throat to get off, being rougher than he intended to be as he lost himself. sometimes your hands are tied behind your back, and sometimes youre helping him with your hands as well. its during these times that krueger is pretty much a service top, giving you head while you choke and whine pathetically. any squirms or sudden movements gaining a gentle nip to where his mouth is, occasionally nipping your inner thighs instead.
if youre into biting or pain, theyd make sure to mark you up really good. bruises to mark their territory like some stray mutts, but making sure any bad or violent marks are treated properly with a nice clean.
because their is two of them in this relationship, each with their own needs, youre almost always left satisfied and laid down between the two.
nikto, usually over heated and overstimulated with everything after constant interactions, keeping a bit of a distance between you, but he stays faced towards you in order to witness your tired yet blissful expression. gazing and watching you for a while before you would fall asleep.
krueger curls up against you on the other side of the bed, muttering german compliments and praises into your ear. his hand affectionately caressing your side with a half assed hum, or gently kneading onto your hip and lower abdomen in silent apology for any rough touches.
#nikto headcanons#cod nikto#nikto x reader#nikto#cod krueger#sebastian krueger#krueger x reader#sebastian krueger cod#sebastian krueger x reader#andre nikto#krueger headcanons#sebastian krueger headcanons
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What its like kissing the creepypasta characters
excluding the characters that im not comfy writing romantic for, for obvious reasons similar to the hugging post this is more so a rating thing instead of actual scenarios! honestly in love with these kinds of posts so im formally asking you guys to give me ideas in this vein because i love making hcs in this format/for general stuff eheheheh
SLENDERMAN:
if youve been on this blog for a while, you would know that i love when characters who dont have mouths/have nontraditional mouths nuzzle and press their face into yours. and i still love the idea, especially with slenderman ! the first time he 'kisses' you its probably the first time hes kissed ANYONE so the movement itself is probably a little... clunky... doesnt press too hard, actually i think he would struggle with the opposite. theyre gentle and fleeting, almost as if his inhuman strength and size would crush you if he let himself truly lean into it. i mean think about it, he hardly ever interacts with humans and when he does its for 'food', he has always only seen them as vulnerable and fragile. and whether malicious or not, he treats you as if youre made of glass. likes kissing the back of your hands too. 7/10, he gets bonus points since hes my fav + its the thought that counts
SPLENDORMAN:
very eager about showing you any level of affection, probably early in the relationship that he gets bold enough to kiss you. first kiss is probably more of a "in the moment" thing than "i planned this out and im going to ask" thing if that makes sense... similar to slenderman in regards that he presses his mouth to you, as i personally headcannon that his smile isnt exactly.. a real mouth, more so a false one. think like a layer of 'skin' covering his real one that he can rip out at any moment (same case for slenderman btw. same also apply to splendors eyes, more so markings than actual eyes). going back to his energy, hes very eager about it, might even lightly push you back with how much hes putting into it; he doesnt mean to, hes just so excited! likes cheek kisses and nuzzling your noses together 8/10
EYELESS JACK:
very wary about kissing you outside of those little pecks, for multiple factors. for one, his teeth. sharp teeth, he can accidentally cut you. other reason thats much darker, given that admin personally hcs that he goes into "frenzies" when hes hungry and reacts to blood like the sharks in finding nemo, if he accidentally cuts you when hes not.. well fed.. for lack of a better term... theres a risk there. REFUSES to kiss when he needs to go 'hunt' soon, not because he doesnt want you or your affection, but he doesnt want to take any risks. outside of that, he doesnt often seek out affection, so youre probably going to have to initiate it, unless hes feeling particularly clingy that day or jealous... hes very cold, please cup your hands on his face and warm him up. likes kissing your lips 6/10
LAUGHING JACK:
has to lean in at an angle in order to not poke you with his nose. has probably accidentally lightly scratched you with it when he got too excited. likes giving you forehead kisses for this reason because you can just angle your head down and he can go to town like that... sometimes leave lipstick marks on you.. if you personally hc that he can take off his makeup then please offer to fix it! hes going to be absolutely over the moon! likes wrapping his arms around you when he kisses you. does lots of kisses in quick succession rather than singular longer ones. probably wakes you up with kisses and greets you with kisses when you come home 8/10 i love him
MASKY/TIM:
nope, sorry. for masky hes not going to be taking off the mask around you at all. so if you want a kiss youre going to have to kiss the mask. though on rare occasions when youre alseep/half awake he will lift up his mask just enough to reveal his mouth and give you a kiss on your face. no particular place that he prefers to kiss you. though as said, its rare when he does this. in fact its not common for masky to seek out affection unless he feels more possessive of you than usual, be it because hes jealous or you are stress or you were just in a dangerous situation. 5/10, not much action but there is still care behind it
now as for tim... i think he would be more willing to give you kisses. probably gives you a quick one before you leave for work or something else, and greets you with one when you return home. thats a sweet thought, i think. more likely to give kisses during cuddle session, tends to kiss your cheek and neck (non sexually) while hes holding you to his chest. ponders. will give you a look if you mess with his sideburns and start giggling 6.5/10 love this man
HOODIE/BRIAN:
hoodie is a little more willing to lift up his mask around you, but only really up to the bottom of his nose. also has no preferred place to kiss you, but he seems to kiss your lips more than the other parts of you. sometimes his facial hair scratches against your skin and tickles. between him and brian i think hoodie is a little more blunt and serious about kissing. not to say hes not a little playful, love me some vaguely playful s/o hoodie hcs. probably picks you up off the ground too to 'trap' you, especially if youre fairly shorter than him (personally hc brian/hoodie is 6'') 7/10 love him
very similar to hoodie but i think he would be even more playful when it comes to you. leans into it when his facial hair starts tickling you, in fact i think it would devolve into him just tickling your sides. funny man. put him in the corner/j. like lj, he likes wrapping his arms around you when kissing you, this man is very into physical touch. will touch you any chance he gets; hand holding, cuddling, hugs, ect ect ect... sometimes starts smiling when you guys kiss so you have to give him a minute because he just has this huge grin on his face 8/10
PUPPETEER:
so you know how i said in the hugging post hes kind of a little shit? you know, literally basking in the fact that youre giving your time and self to him? i think that still applies here, maybe even more so since this is explicitly romantic. likes teasing you if you get flustered during your make out sessions, sometimes bombards you with kisses just to see your face redden... has probably leaned down and tapped his cheek as a silent yet teasing gesture, as if taunting you, letting you be the one to kiss him this once. also very cold, like physically. what being a spirit does to a mf. VERY tall, can easily evade any retaliation you throw his way (ie returning the favor of bombarding him with kisses), though im not sure how long he'd be able to resist.. 6/10
#creepypasta x reader#creepypasta x you#slenderman x reader#slenderman x you#splendorman x reader#splendorman x you#eyeless jack x reader#eyeless jack x you#laughing jack x reader#laughing jack x you#masky x reader#masky x you#hoodie x reader#hoodie x you#puppeteer x reader#puppeteer x you
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totally forgot what you think of shippy stuff but im gonna ask you anyway !!! do u think sabo n law would be friends ??! more than that ?! cause they have like . . . one arc together plus stampede and they dont seem to hate each other so !! im curious of your thoughts 🎤
Their dynamic for me is kinda just like “this guy is my little brother’s friend” kind of feel and thats really it for me. Like ifykyk what that dynamic is but for me they just,,,, theyre too similar to eachother to be much more than that in my opinion. I feel like Sabo naturally drifts to people who are very different than him, if that makes sense.
I think all the ship art I’ve seen of them is really funny though. Like they have a lot of comedic potential, I love people putting Law in Situations and that man is just doomed to be the StraightMan for the rest of his unintentionally sexy life.
And also like, to get into law’s world you really have to push and shove and claw your way in there, and Sabo is way too busy trying to get tf outta wherever he is to do that for law.
Now that im thinking about it though, i wish we knew how sabo and ace met. Cuz like luffy really had to push and shove and claw his way into Ace’s life, so i wonder if sabo had to do the same. Thats really besides the point though because i wouldnt really compare Sabo being completely alone and friendless when he was 5 and trying to find even a single friend in Ace, to Sabo in his adult years who grew up without a single memory of being alone and being constantly surrounded by people who love him.
Sabo isnt like Luffy is with making friends. Luffy has had multiple points in his life where hes had to really force people into friendship to have someone, anyone, in his life. This naturally is because he hates being alone, mostly stemming from just truly no one being there for him to connect with. He’s been woefully devoid of peers in his life. So for Luffy, having to brute force his way into people’s lives is just par for the course for him, which of course is how he became Law’s friend (self proclaimed)
But Sabo, with how he was raised post amnesia, he was never lonely. So in my opinion he wouldnt really have that drive to force his way into people’s lives like his little brother does. He wouldnt have that insecurity that Luffy has/had to make him like that.
And Law….. he’s had everyone he’s ever loved ripped away from him time and time again. To say being Law’s friend is extremely fucking hard is an understatement to say the extreme least. Sabo is also not the kind of guy to do things for people. Like for example Bartolomeo drowning in the colosseum as sabo destroyed the arena and just telling him “youre a man, do it yourself.” And then two seconds later to his woman friend he’s like “since when can you not take care of things yourself?” Like he’s very You Gotta Meet Him Halfway If Youre Gonna Meet Him At All. (‘Woman friend’ being koala, of course, but i just wanna emphasize those two points because truly it doesnt matter what your gender is or even if youre a close friend, that ‘do it yourself’ is rated E for Everybody)
Law needs to be broken in with a semi truck to be his friend, not even mentioning trying to be his lover and i really dont think sabo would put in the effort to do either of those things. I honestly think law shouldn’t be in any romantic relationship for a very long time because of how unbelievably traumatized and broken and ruined he is especially with certain recent events. So i really have a hard time shipping him with anyone even though theres lots of characters ripe for the picking.
TDLR: in my eyes, neither of them would put in the effort of trying to be anything with eachother and are kinda just on good terms because of a mutual friend.
By Every Means Necessary though, please keep shipping them and drawing ship art of them, i feel like the stuff i see with them is so creative and i encourage you to keep drawing those tragic men making out.
If you have any other thoughts or any ship/friendship propaganda for me though lmk please. This is kinda one of those ships where i really dont much understand it beyond The Bit. I’m just not the kind of person to really like ships without seeing a direct and canon dynamic between them I can pull from. Like even if its a negative dynamic i can still get into it but like these two truly have Nothing. So by all means, help me understand.
Thank you for coming my ted talk and thank you for the question, i really had to think hard about this and it was a lot of fun coming to the conclusion i came to.
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i figure most human behaviour that, not only doesn’t occur in other animals but has zero connection to animal behavior is basically distantly rooted in the known fear of inevitable death. let me be clear. cats and shit don’t know they’re gonna die. we do. we have thoughts. we know it’s coming. we think we’re gonna be rich, bullshit like that, most humans believe in magic and most humans doubt that math is a universal or consistent thing. total nonsense right. but everyone knows their ass is gonna die. before you write me off as some dumbass reciting basic 101 level university lectures just Trust Me I’m An Engineer. anyways. being human and dying are somewhat one in the same.
“if i do nonhuman things i can cheat the reaper.” short and sweet. if i can beat zelda faster than anyone i can outrun the reaper. and you know what, fuck it, i’m scared shitless of dying. it’s gonna hurt really bad no doubt. what if the brain destroyal process makes time slow down in my perception and it’s not just like five seconds of bleeding out or fire ant bites or however you go. Scary. so i’ll play along:
i am an average american man and i enjoy bad game runescape. it’s a computer game. MMO. kill monster get loot. sell what i don’t want to other players for gold. spamming chat with “SELLING BOWSTRINGS 200gp” for an hour “sucks” so the devs add a grand exchange where you can post buy/sell orders for a given item+price to maximize gameplay efficiency and minimize social interaction.
like any other MMO you can pay some sketchy website real money for ingame gold farmer by chinese gold farmers. totally against the rules. remember this
so the first thing that comes to any male aged 23-27 mind is “buy low sell high” basic bitch shit. no good. there’s a 5% tax that’ll wipe out your profit margin intended to eliminate this behavior (you’re supposed to friggen kill monsters). but everyone thinks they’re a genius and can beat the system and that there is a secret george soros style illuminati group that is holding the secrets, blah blah blah, whatever, and this comes as a coping mechanism after losing your shirt after trying to beat the market (success rate of 0%).
here is where people mostly quit thinking: if you do the math, which takes about ten minutes and can be done on one side of a sheet of paper with the most basic calculator, it’s easy to figure out that the amount of gold you’d need to play dirty (buy out all the available Feathers or Fire Runes or whatever) in order to corner the market would be so high that there is no possible way for a character to hold that much without having spent IRL money for gold. you’d get autobanned.
SO..finally, go on the ol’ www.reddit.com, and make a really really professional-to-professional sounding post advertising a “service”. Saturate the fuck out of it with dense but very real financial jargon. the “service” (which needs to be obscured enough with plausible and relevant language) is a hedging service aimed at make-believe market players who are buying and selling such huge amounts of items and gold (usually in anticipation of a game update that will speculatively introduce a sudden, dramatic, and capitalizable price change for some item). you need it to be as alien-sounding and foreign as possible but with enough believability and clarity that a handful of reddit jackasses will figure out what the fuck your post is about. whenever pressed further, act totally puzzled and make it very clear that this is not a service relevant to “individual entertainment-motivated” players or some shit. no matter what amount of gold anyone quotes at you, just act puzzled and if that amount is 1/1000th the amount one of your “normal” clients deal with. you need to do all of this extremely artfully. and by “you”, i’ve been meaning to write “me”. really lay it on thick that whatever you’re “doing” is totally unavailable to them and that you want zero to do with them.
so now theyre still mostly totally confused but enough is made clear that their interest is piqued. got my hook in em. some guy will copy/paste wikipedia shit in an obnoxiously long and pseudointellectual, contemptible but characteristically reddit guy style what you’re “selling��� actually is in the most exhausting, hand-holdingest way to his fellow reddit gamers. with complete tone of authority.
inevitably one of them will put on their sherlock holmes hat and go deep undercover, emailing me posing as an interested party. bingo. now i get to really lay on the WTF and go off the rails asking about vouchers from One Of The Big Seven, but oh no, you can’t get one of them to vouch for you, that’s fine, it makes sense, we’re the only firm that deals with unvouched, that’s our market, well, one of them at least. Just give me a rough rundown of your entry criteria, dwell time, risk tolerance, fuckin “Gamma Ratio”, you know, all the basic stuff, and i’ll have the team generate a .xlsx for you to plug your data into to get a rough feel for what the final contract might be like.
(lololol) But REMEMBER, that excel sheet is seeded, output is fuzzed and salted and if you share it or try and sell it to our competitors, it will be fuzzy enough to be worthless to them but obvious to us who leaked what. this is the only way we’re able to integrate unvouched clients without untenable premiums and while managing our risk levels
blah blah blah blah, i go on and on and on and the guy on the other end is developing a scab from constant head-scratching. and that’s about the maximum real-world harm i’m willing to inflict. i know this sounds like an elaborate as fuck confidence scam but it isn’t. that shit makes me sick. i’d literally slam my arms in a car door before taking a cent from all this. hell, i’ll go out of my way to guarantee i don’t even piss anyone off or offend them or anything.
your guess is as good as mine but i do stuff like this constantly for anything i know well enough and the example i gave above is just a pretty low quality one i made up on the spot. this is a public blog after all.
anyways, cheers, hoping this saves me from dying or whatever the hell i was talking about before that could have probably been cut out. Namaste. Mahala.
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i am genuinely confused by something you said in your joan of arc post & i would love if you could clarify. you said "women afab can be trans. men amab can be trans." i understand how that applies to intersex people, who may be assigned a sex they identify with but have other sex characteristics that they get dysphoria from. or theyre assigned as one sex but once puberty hit they developed far more traits of the other sex, so they had to transition back to what they used to be. i understand those scenarios. but as far as we know, joan of arc wasnt intersex & you dont bring up intersex in your post. how can a non-intersex person transition to something they already are & have been for their entire life? changing how one presents, like changing their style of clothes to better suit their gender & personality, doesnt count as "transitioning" imo, cis people do that aaall the time, multiple times throughout their lives. so what do you actually mean by this??
So my definition of trans is very much inspired by Leslie Feinberg's definition of trans(gender): An umbrella term for "everyone who challenges the boundaries of sex and gender," in which ze specifically includes cross-dressing and GNC people who are men AMAB and women AFAB. I would define trans as being inclusive of anyone who queers sex and/or gender.
In my humble nonbinary opinion, we way over-rely on the idea of trans as being about identifying as a gender that isn't your assigned sex. I, for example, was assigned female and identify as (amongst other genders) a woman, but my womanhood is very much trans. For one, I was on T for two years and intend to get bottom surgery, but I was also alienated from typical cis girlhood for my entire life and my womanhood is inherently tied to me also being a man and abinary. My womanhood is not cisnormative at all.
"Woman" and "man" (and male and female) are all constructs. Just because someone may call themself a woman, and have been assigned female at birth, does not mean they identify as the same kind of woman that society expects and demands them to. There are different ways of constructing womanhood. The "gender identity that isn't AGAB" definition was built on the idea of trans people as going from one binary point to the other, with the assumption that "woman" and "man" are still Real Things with one natural meaning. Attempts at being nb-inclusive have basically just said "well nonbinary isn't a gender assigned at birth, so its trans!" which is completely true, but it also ignores all the nonbinary and genderqueer people whose genders are more nuanced than that.
On Jeanne d'Arc specifically, I actually have some relevant quotes on this:
(from Vested Interests: Crossdressing and Cultural Anxiety and Clothing and Gender Definition: Joan of Arc respectively)
This is why I included that line: because we often assume, in our exorsexism, that a historical figure must identify as a man/woman (cis), as the opposite (trans), or maybe as neither, but those are the only options. We are still limiting ourselves and these historical figures' by limiting how we understand gender and genderqueerness. To Jeanne, being a cross-dressing female virgin soldier could be its own gender, something different than the genders of cisnormative mothers and nuns.
& as a note: I feel like, a lot of the time, non-intersex people in the community will make exceptions for intersex people (like "well, intersex people can be transfemmascs/male lesbians/etc" but no one else!!!") which. doesn't actually seem that great for intersex people? Like aside from assuming that these genderqueer experiences can only be had by intersex people, it also means that if you identify that way, you must Prove that you are Allowed to be doing that, by both outing yourself as intersex and arguing that you are intersex Enough.
#m.#ask box#i hope this makes sense my brain still isnt working fully#trans history#transmasc history#theory
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