#(( This is so incredibly accurate holy shit. ))

[tweltchy]

Jurassic Park Movie: Scientifically accurate dinosaurs in a theme park run by a nice old dude who just wants to make a fun place. Things go wrong.

Jurassic Park novel: Dinosaurs that are genetically modified Frankenstein science experiment freaks of nature that cannot and shouldn't exist. Things go really, REALLY wrong.

And the old dude that runs that park would gladly feed his own grandchildren to the dinosaurs if there was money to be made in it.

[bespectacledbun]

*rises from the depths of uni hell just to offer this* *leaves immediately*

[darckcarnival]

What kind of catharsis do you need?

Tears

You've been holding it all in for so long, haven't you? It seems like there's no time, no space to fall apart. But you don't have to pretend to not be hurting. The tide of pain in you is cresting. Let it out. There's no judgement here.

Tagged by: @chibitantei Tagging: STEAL IT FROM ME AND TAG ME, I HAVE TOO MANY PEOPLE I WANNA TAG!

[learn-and-accept]

Throughout my life I've had a lot of opinions on the whole "you can't love someone until you love yourself" thing and now that I'm in love with some I know for certain that it's absolute bullshit

[bluetimeombre]

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐝𝐲𝐩𝐨𝐨L 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐖𝐨𝐥𝐯𝐢e

Deadpool and Wolverine but your lady pool and an absolute SLUT for Wolverine.

[this is a complete self insert with just everything I was thinking about during the movie and since then I’ve watched it three times. It gets better every time. Snippets of the movie, will probably do a part two. SPOILERS!]

part two

Warning/disclaimer: femreaderxwolverine, sexual content, sexual language, offensive language, just being a whore the man, cursing, repeat daddy issues, never proof-read.

After digging up Logan and expecting to find a shirtless and oiled-up Hugh Jackman, you were a little more than disappointed to find the bones and metal. 'Damn it! Shit! Fuck! They Les Mis'd him!'

Eventually, you settled down next to the remains, against the same log that had impaled him. 'That was weird,' you chuckled. 'I'm much calmer now. Look, I'm not a woman in stem but you seem incredibly dead to me. Oh, you sexy lump of bones and metal. I would have let you slide them into me any day.'

'But it's good to see you,' you pat his knee. 'I gotta be honest, I've always wanted to ride you, Logan. Oh, whoops, I meant with you. Ha! Who am I kidding, no I didn't. Just you and me, getting into it. And I mean into it. Every style. Doggy. Sixty-nine. On the kitchen counter to the bathroom. Till my back broke. Yea, we'd have been good together.' You ranted, fantasies flying across your mind too quick to focus on one.

With your red-gloved hand, you jerk the chin. 'G'day mate, there's nothing that'll bring me back to life faster than a big bag of Marvel cash. Ha- I hear you, Hugh. But no, no, no, no you had to go and get all noble and die for real. I could really use your help right now. And a massage. Your big manly hands just rubbing all over me-'

Just as you were about to go into further detail about what you want him to do to you, the sound of portals opening and heavy boots stomping closer alerted you.

Quickly, you pulled the skeleton down on top of you.

'There are two hundred and six bones in the body. Two hundred and seven if i'm watching Van Helsing.'

Que the fucking montage.

You have a mission. Find a Logan to take back with you. First up you end up in a bar, catching an axe as it was thrown at you. 'Logan! I'm gonna need you to come with me.'

The Logan sitting at the bar slowly turned to you. 'Who's asking? ' He slipped from the bar stool to reveal a 5'3 Logan.

You coo. 'Well, who's this little ankle biter. Did you stick the landing little guy? Yes you did, comic-accurate short king. Such a cute little Wolvie.'

The little guy started stalking toward you.

'Que the fucking montage.'

You found a Wolverine for the seventies, or eighties, something close enough to that, one hand missing. 'Oh yea, sexy, you have anchor being written all over you.'

You found patch Logan. 'Oh hello, Patch. Should've worn my white suit.'

You found another old man Logan, sitting solemnly on his front porch. 'Howdy! Oh, I see, you're the daddy issues one. Good to see god has answered my prayers. So soldier, do I need to be a bad girl so you put me over your knee, daddy?'

Another was tied to a cross with red bloody skulls acting as a floor.

One was dressed in a tight yellow and brown suit, walking through the woods. 'Hubba hubba. Classic! Now, you fought the Hulk in this suit, right?' as he snicked his claws out, the green of the beast reflected from behind you. 'I am Marvel Jesus you dull creature and I will not be-'

One, your favourite, was working on a bike in a tight white vest and dark pants. You drooled. 'That's the whole goddamn package right there. You know from behind you look a bit- holy Shit!' he turned, and everything about him was Wolverine. Except for the fact he was Henry fucking Cavil. 'The Cavalry has arrived. The prophecy has been fulfilled. Can I say, sir, sorry, daddy- on behalf of all of humanity, this just feels right! We will treat you so much better than those shit fucks down the street!'

He took the cigar from his mouth, stalking to you. You had never been so aroused in your life. 'You were just leaving'

Giggling and twirling your hair, you hold a hand out, ghosting over his chest. 'Can I just, one- one touch. Oh my god! You're like Superman or something.'

He punched you right into the Logan you needed. Thank you Cavil.

'You two gonna fuck or fight?' asked the bartender. 'Both if i'm lucky,' you said.'

'Oh look at those sexy little jammies, that only took twenty fucking years!'

The trash heap was the last place you wanted to end up, but when you woke to Logan looming over you, a snarl on his face, you sighed in relief.

'Well, hello sexiest man alive, 2008. Wanna give me a hand? Or head?'

He sniked his claws out.

'Kinky! That's new for Disney!'

He dug his claws into your ribs and dragged you up with them. 'Where the fuck are we?'

'I dunno, but it looks a bit mad maxxy to me. But that would be IP infringement right?'

'Fucking jokes,' Logan uttered. He threw you over his leg, your back breaking.

'Till my back breaks, Wolvie!' you yelled out, quickly rolling yourself back up and shaking it off. 'Look, I think we got off on the wrong foot. I'm a big fan. How about we strip off our suits, take a tumble in the sand, get to know one another you know. Personally, I'm more of a cowgirl fan but I'm willing to do whatever you want baby.'

'You're unbelievable,' he grumbled. It was still sexy. He turned his back to you.

'Oh, I see, is that what you did when your world went to shit!'

He paused, his head slowly turning to you. 'Say again, bub?'

'Oh, I am so horny right now.'

The two of you engaged in a fight, and not the sexy stradling fight that would happen later, but the guns firing, swords slashing kind of fight. that was only interrupted by a familiar voice.

The only other voice that could have you dropping your panties as quick as Wolverine. He was hooded, hidden, but you knew him from your sex dreams.

'Dear god almighty, it's him.'

'Who?' growled Logan.

'Don't be jealous baby, I have two holes for a reason. Don't worry gorgeous, you're gonna encounter some delicate language, a smidge of ass play but we've been prohibited from using cocaine, at least on page.'

He raised a hand. 'They're coming.'

'Who's they?'

The three of you watch cars and trucks drive through the waste, keeping you trapped. There were familiar faces, Pyro, Toad. And Sabertooth.

The mysterious figure jumped down and mastered the superhero landing that had you clapping your hands and jumping up and down.

'Oh my god! Oh my god!' you held onto Logan's shoulder as you jumped while he just glared at you.

'I've got this,' the man takes down his hood, showing the beautiful, hot, strong, handsome, hubba-hubba worthy, Chris Evans.

'Oh yes, you do sexiest man alive, 2022!' you cheer.

'Stay close,' Chris- or Steve- called back to you.

You stalk over to him. 'Aye aye, Captain.' you wrap your arms around his stomach, fingers trailing over his abs. He removes you and you groan, sulking. You walk back to Wolverine and jump onto the side of his hip.

Instinctively he holds your ass which makes you giddy before he realises his mistake and drops you.

'You're not gonna love what happens next,' shouted the captain.

Your jaw dropped from behind the mask. 'Holy shit, omg! No way, he's gonna say it! He's gonna say it!' you flick one of your swords that was still poking out of Wolverine's chest. 'Avengers-'

'Flame on!' Steve- no, Johnny- yelled and took to the skies in a ball of fire.

It was sort of stupid in hind sight as Pyro lifted a hand and extinguished him, causing him to fall from the skies and go crotch first into a billboard.

'No!' you screamed, rushing to him and rolling onto his back to get a look at him. 'No, no baby, stay with me. Let me take a look!' you tried to pull down his pants but Logan literally pulled you off him.

You were tied up with Wolverine on the front side of you and Johnny on the back. When you woke, you giggled. 'Woah, just like my dreams.'

Johnny woke to, lifting his head from your shoulder. 'How long was I out?'

You smirk under the mask, looking back to him. 'Not all of you was asleep, say Cap, is that a Glock in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

'Is that Chuck? Hey Chuck, over here! Hope it's you young, god, we got James Macovy in this?' you yelled as a wheelchair rolled out as you entered the thing that was apparently large Paul Rudd.

'Cassandra Nova. Charles's twin,' the villain introduced herself.

'Holy shit,' said Logan.

'How was anal birth?' you asked.

Cassandra smirked. 'You two are cute. I have a good feeling about this.'

'Right!' you cheered. 'Just wait till this ends, the smut is off the charts!'

She took the chain from around the two of you but you wrapped yourself around Logan's arm, he only grunted at you. He only pushed you off when you started to go off and off about what Johnny said about Cassandra. 'People think i'm a shit talker but this guy-' you chef's kiss. 'Next level!'

Cassandra, with a flick of her hand, shed the skin from him as he fell in a heap of bones and blood and skin,

You cried out, holding onto Logan for dear life. 'My favourite Chris!'

'You silly little bitch, you just got him fucking killed!' yelled Logan.

'Fine, spank me then! P.S. Do you know what he was doing to the budget!'

You were brought to Ultimatum with Cassadra, Oliath or the other British villain, but all you wanted was to save your world, bang Wolvy and go home.

'I didn't want it to come to this, either you help us or my boyfriend here is gonna perform the whole of Greatest Showman as a one-man show,' you warn.

'I'm not her boyfriend,' Logan grumbled.

Cassandra went on a trauma dump that had you groaning. 'Couldn't you just turn into accomplishment like the rest of us?'

But I'm not like the rest of you, except maybe the Wolverine, now we could be truly terrifying together.'

'Sorry lady, he's taken!'

'Not for long,' Cassandra smirked and as Logan attacked, she sent him in the ground and away from you. You only whined at his disappearance, a whine that turned into a groan when Cassandra's fingers entered you in the worst way possible. Through your head.

'What can I see here?' she asked. Cassandra gasped. 'Oh, you are a whore.'

Oh yes, she saw the million filthy things you wanted to do to Logan.

The two of you made it out and to the diner where Logan was intent on finding food and taking rubbing alcohol shots. When he sat across from you, chucking a tin of spam at you, you pulled of your mask.

Logan stilled, looking at you with finally something a little different than anger.

'What?' you asked.

'I thought you'd be ugly under there.'

'No- no, that's the Deadpool. I'm better, and a self-insert.'

The two of you took to walking through the rather nicer side of the waste. You had his hand in yours, swinging it happily like you were a couple before he threatened to chop your hand off.

'You said Logan was a hero, what happened?' he asked.

'You died. Technically you were chest fucked by a tree, but really you just ran out of batteries trying to save this girl- a kid really. Always wanted a man who's good with kids. The shit heels who grew her in a lab called her x-23, but she was just a kid. A smaller, cute and mean version of you. Yep, you saved her, very hero, very demure.'

The two of you were interrupted when a bark sounded over the hill and the BEST DOG EVER ran out to you, ears flapping in the wind, tongue out as it always was. The little boots. The collar. It was Dogpool.

You threw off your mask and picked her up, cuddling her close. 'She's coming with us.'

'No she's not!' he argued.

'Yes, she is!'

'No!'

You pulled out your puppy dog eyes and lifted the dog to your face and slowly the resolve in his face slipped.

'Sorry!' another man ran out, chasing after the dog.

'Fucking shit bag!' you cursed.

It was another dead pool, a good-looking one with long hair.

'What's Ryan Reynolds actually doing here, I thought I replaced him?' you said.

'In here everyone calls me Nicepool.'

'Can we have your dog?' you asked immediately.

He laughed. 'over my dead body!'

You nod, thinking about it but Logan holds out his arm before you can even move.

Whatever Nicepool was saying was you didn't care as you cooed and hugged the dog closer and Logan watched.

Fuck, he was paying attention to you.

'Why are you so nice?' you asked eventually.

'It costs nothing to be kind,' he said.

'Shutting the fuck up is also free,' said Logan.

You bite your lip in his direction. 'God I am so attracted to you right now. This is Logan, he's usually shirtless but he's let himself go since the divorce.'

Finally, the Nicepool took you to his ride to get you and Logan and the dog to the borderlands.

It was a honda fucking odyssey.

Logan wasn't willing to listen to your complaints. 'Get in the fucking car.'

'Make me, Daddy,' you said.

He took one step closer to you and you backed away with the dog. 'No, we're running away!'

Logan forced her from your arms and handed him back to the Nicepool.

'The corn was to dense girl!' you called after her, pouting.

Logan shoves you into the passenger seat while he takes the wheel.

You pull of your mask, hair falling around you like you were in an advert. 'So, what shall we do to pass the time...'

Honda Odyssey coming soon, that my friends, is called edging.

[princess-of-purple-prose]

[ID: Image one is a page from a Hawkeye comic which features Clint's stressed internal narration over knotted wires. A clock ticks, and Tony watches, sweating. Clint says he'll cut the green wire, to which Tony is incredulous, but Clint does so. Then it's revealed that the wires were just connected to an outlet extension for a Christmas tree. Tony says, "That was stupid, Clint, it's just knotted up." Clint replies, "You untangle 'em then, Tony Stark genius Superman."

The following images are all screenshots of tags on this post, here transcribed without hashtags for readability. They read:

megamindsupremacy: you know what? youre so right actually. Tim finds himself as accidental mentor to Joung Justice v4 at age thirtywhatever. robin number 10 tracks him down like 'I know the perfect guy to show us how to be a team! he helped found young justice OG!' smash cut to the team breaking into Tim's murderboat where hes passed out on the couch surrounded by takeout containers

the entire team is like. unimpressed as hell but it turns out tim was awake the whole time and takes out the entire team while their guard is down. hes like. what are you small hero children doing in my house. gets talked into mentoring these kids and hes mad about it the whole time but in a 'no im gonna do it fuck you' kinda way. every so often he'll stop in the middle of a lesson and go 'brb' and run off. hes fighting off the ninja hordes because like five seperate organizations have sworn blood oaths to kill him at all costs. eventually its revealed the reason he cut himself off from the hero community is because he had one (1) too many close calls with the whole 'almost becomes a supervillain in the very near future and we CANNOT have another gun batman'

then his team of miscellaneous children convince him he wont actually become a supervillain if he forgets to eat breakfast or whatever and its very sweet. but yeah the entire time their opinion of him is swinging wildly between 'how is this man able to function well enough to stand right now'. and 'oh! hes like really good at this. hes. really good at this. hes worryingly good at this. he. slow down mr tim. h. hey please stop. provoking ninja cults this is your second one this week. mr. tim please.'

roseandgold137: exactly. tim that's a disaster is good. tim that's a disaster and responsible for all these tiny people is GREAT. he can't make food for himself but one kid says they're a little hungry and suddenly he's a michelin star chef. tim drake. he takes to parenting like he takes to everything else. the aim is to achieve a Good Grade in parenting. which is both normal to want and possible to achieve

empty-blog-for-lurking: I love this. Not only because it feels like a natural progression for Tim who's whole thing is he sought out his mentor and teams And that he is always seeking to learn (about people about cases about fighting skills etc)

But also it would be so fucking funny given how much shit he has given to Bruce and almost every adult in his life. Just being forced to be a mentor. The kids will just not leave him alone. they also will eat all his food. Somewhere red tornado is feeling the soothing salve of karma in his not feeling heart. speaking of mentors Bruce is definately the guy who was a c+ parent but an actually loving grandparent

Bruce: Tim you dont think you are being rigid with your training? They are all only 16. That's practically baby :(. Tim having flashbacks to the time he was gaslit into a mental breakdown by Bruce at his 16th bday: you dont say. Also Tim's advices really gonna swing between 'practical' philosophical' and 'highly specific and deeply unhinged'. Like 'with your body shape it would be more practical to use kicks based fighting style over fists.' Or 'we cant save every1 not even those we love. Definately not on our own. What we can do is learn and let go and trust those still around'. or 'it is always morally ok to fake having a relative to get out of adoption'

Also Tim retiring from hero thing cuz of gun batman only to getting dragged back into hero job by a bunch of plucky kids is so funny. Tim avoids being batman (dictator with a gun) by becoming batman (single divorced father-mentor of several kids). Tim: Bruce you need a robin. You need to become the hero you once were. If i have to force you to take me as your pupil for this i will. Years later yjv4: Tim you need to become the hero you once were. If we have to force u to take us as your pupils for that to happen we will. how the turn tables

Sorry for this bullshit op i might be mildly obsessed. tim drake. dc. empty reblogs. Tim internally: oh no i have become the very thing i had refused to be. I tried not to become gun batman (evil) only to become Bruce (Pathetic friendless disaester). (He does have friends it is just that his vibes are so disaestrous that he doesnt seem like he has friends)

proxyma: i want the rest of the young justice to have cameos in that series. like half the time they are bullying tim along the with the kids the other half they are being bullied along him. like you cant look me in the eye and say kon wont try to impress these young super hero children only for it end up in him being bullied. like kon looks cool but as soon as he opens his mouth its all downhill. bart maybe has chances of not bring bulled. cissis wont be bullied at all like she is an Olympic athlete and model no doubt the children are probably fans of her. these are the only ones im sure in

alternis: isolationist Tim is fun but can i suggest adult Tim just has the vibes of the friendless uncle with no permanent job. despite being gainfully employed and invited to barbecues nearly every weekend by his giant friend roster despite being retired. he gets in a particularly difficult situation with yjv4 and is forced to call in backup and 28 heroes show up within the next 30 seconds. the entire team is shocked to discover he had friends willing to help the whole time and didn't call them because he knew they'd. a) judge his fashion and life choices b) fix everything too fast for the kids to learn important hero lessons. and most importantly c) make fun of him in front of the team and then realise he's their mentor and make fun of him even harder. tim tag. gothamites. End ID]

Honestly it sucks that dc wont let Tim age cause in my opinion Tim would have made an excellent aimless-disaester-adult-hero-who-is-suprisingly-a-good-mentor. Like i am talking about Tim being incharge of a bunch of kid heroes being actually good at guiding them, and then he goes back home (his dingy murder boat) opens his fridge and finds a single egg. He doesnt know what he will do with his life, but he does mentor rather well so i guess that is going on well¯\_(ツ)_/¯

At first I was thinking the Peter Parker route but you know that panel in Hawkeye where it looks like he’s diffusing a bomb but he’s actually just untangling wires from his game console, and then just cuts them anyway? That’s what I’m envisioning

[megumishotgf]

fic recommendations ˖ ࣪࿐ྂ

here are some of my favourite fics currently!! yes most of them are smutty because i am a whore!! ♡

featuring: megumi, satoru, suguru, katsuki (+ a little yuuta + mikasa) credits to all these beautiful writers - pls check them out!! masterlist fic recs pt. ii pt. iii

: ̗̀➛ megumi fushiguro x reader

possessive megumi is tired of other men thirsting over you, including toji and satoru (fic: incredible... i come back to this all the time.)

first kiss with gumi leads to another first (fic: smutty but also so intimate i love it)

you ask megumi to rail you after ur ex cheats (he fucks you so good omg. part two of the fic this is the smutty part)

y/n is pregnant and craving donuts (manga spoilers, a little angsty but mostly cute fluff!!)

you worry megumi doesn't love you. he does (don't worry not angsty so cute and fluffy makes my heart swell!!)

late night call w/ gumi who is so crazy in love with you (im crying i love him)

clueless inspired stepcest with gumi (adding this with no shame it's so so good. soft dom gumi my favourite)

"pretend i'm a random girl at a bar coming onto you" (established relationship. so fucking funny and witty. thank u so much author)

finger fucking you until you squirt omfg (i'm going insane)

weed dealer megumi headcanons (smutty towards the end i love this so much)

megumi protects you from an ass then fucks you in his car (i love protective men)

ditching school to blow your nerdy skater boy gumi (school a.u omg!!)

: ̗̀➛ satoru gojo x reader

satoru finds footage of his teen years with suguru, y/n and shoko (angsty fic: this is so beautiful and could make me sob)

mating press with satoru (holy shit... he loses control of his technique cumming inside... i'm in awe)

y/n is suguru's sister and hates toru but eventually they fuck (i was hollering reading this it's so good)

satoru needs help cutting his hair. almost goes bald (this is so funny and heartwarming. a blessing from tumblr)

drunk satoru cries about your pussy being so good then comes home to fuck you good (deleted ya’ll someone PLEASE send me this fic if it is elsewhere!!)

your clingy situationship w/ satoru (he's so soft and in love...)

: ̗̀➛ suguru geto x reader

suguru lets virgin! satoru fuck his gf (fic: so good holy shit. one of my favourite fics ever. suguru is so soft for his girl)

you're fucking your best friends' father (college a.u!! suguru gets jealous and fucks the brattiness out of you. so so good)

social media au w/ your bf geto!! (so cute and funny!! there is a gojo version too!!)

suguru finds you during your 'sad girl bathtub hours' (comfort!!)

squirting shamelessly in his face (dream)

weed dealer! suguru corrupts you (dumbification kink go crazy)

: ̗̀➛ katsuki bakugo x reader

katsuki doesn't understand how attractive he is (drabble: katsuki is so fine but he only has eyes for you)

you blow katsuki while getting his car washed (taylor swift playing omg? so hot)

your kid shows you a beautiful (ugly) drawing, katuski dies laughing (so fucking funny have you seen the similar tiktok!!)

: ̗̀➛ yuuta okkotsu x reader

vampire! yuuta soothes your period cramps... (u know what this means. incredibly written)

: ̗̀➛ BONUS: mikasa ackerman x reader

drug dealer! mikasa (headcanons: a little smutty, gunplay and robbing men)

: ̗̀➛ multiple characters (drabbles)

jjk men as chubby chasers !! (toji, yuuta, gumi + satoru) (fellow chubby girlies you will go crazy for this)

jjk men + halloween costumes (toji, satoru, nanami + suguru) (so funny and accurate!!)

[duke-daemon]

hazbin hotel redesigns wooooooooo

okay so. i'm gonna discuss my thoughts about them n shit, putting under a readmore bc it's gonna get long and rambley. sorry in advance for the shit formatting, i'm on mobile </3

just some general shit about how i would rewrite it. i think the premise of redeeming sinners is entertaining but is executed horribly. i also am a fan of the "heaven isn't great either" idea but again, executed horribly. i'd make the hierarchy of angels more accurate because it's cool as hell and i have autism about it. the characters from hell would swear still (albeit not as much), but the angels would outright refuse to swear or make vulgar jokes ever. this would be partially to further the gap between heaven and hell and make the differences more stark.

hell would also be more like dante's inferno (again because i think its cool). the ars goetia would get a full redesign and would be more prevalent in demonic society.

now for the characters!

---

VAGGIE VALTIEL:

starting off with vaggie, or Valtiel as i've renamed her because let's be honest her original name sucks. Valtiel (Val for short) was an aspiring power angel who wanted to be an exorcist. she looked up to lute and thought the idea of killing demons was really cool and badass. however when she actually was on the field for the first time she discovered how awful this actually was. she tried to help a few demons but lute figured it out and felled her right then and there. the rest of her story is relatively the same. personality wise she's more stoic and less prone to all-out aggression. she still get angry, sure, but it's in a quieter and more menacing way. you DO NOT want to fuck with Valtiel.

CHARLIE:

next up is charlie! i had two ideas for her. the first one (unsettling drawing) has her as a mannequin/doll type demon. lucifer and/or lilith was unable to conceive and as such they built a kid from scratch. she's overall similar to og charlie personality wise, very kind and cheerful despite her unsettling appearance. she struggles with empathy sometimes but really does mean well. her motive for rehabilitating sinners is so they get to see their family again. being able to see heaven from where they are in hell must make them sad, so she wants to help make them happy again!

the second idea for charlie has her as an angel. specifically i casted her as a dominion angel due to their reputation as holy judges. she was once a demon but has been rehabilitated and has risen into angelhood! she now wants to help her former kin do the same and redeem themselves in heaven's gaze. again, similar cheery personality, but a bit more prudish in this rendition

tangent time!

as a side tangent, valtiel and charlie would have a different relationship in this rewrite. their relationship felt shoehorned in in the original show, like it was just there for the hell of it. we didn't see much development between them and it just felt kinda bland. so in my rewrite, charlie and valtiel are amiable exes. they tried dating when valtiel first fell (when charlie was still a demon in the charlie-angel version) but realized their feelings for each other were much more platonic than romantic. they ended things off on good terms, deciding they were much better as friends. they are still besties to this day! later charlie ends up with emily (or 'ellie' as i plan to rename her)

back to the characters

Alastor:

note: i made alastor mixed-race, which could be seen as bad by some due to vivzie saying he's black. however, as many have pointed out, he has no ethnic features whatsoever and i honestly wouldn't be surprised if she said that just to get away with using voodoo symbols (a closed religion) in his imagery/design. like viv, i am incredibly white and have little to no knowledge of voodoo, and even if i did i would not use it for something like this anyways due to the stigma the religion already has and (again) it being a closed practice. as such i removed it from his concept altogether, but made him mixed race (white passing) because.. why not i guess, i forgor my actual reasoning

with that being said...

alastor is by far my favorite of the redesigns and i'm honestly tempted to turn him into a legally distinct oc. i imagine he's somewhat reserved, along the lines of norman bates albeit a bit more extroverted. during his life he was a serial killer with a day job as a radio announcer. he took pleasure in reporting about his own murders on the radio, but that is eventually what got him caught (ie accidentally letting slip info that wasn't released to the public). as a result he was sentenced to death. upon arriving in hell, he quickly rose through the ranks to borderline overlord status and is a feared presence by demons and sinners alike. why is he bothering to assist in the hotel project? who knows... his motives are a mystery, like the rest of what he does

(he isn't actually alastair crowley i just thought the naming convention was ironic. however he may have also dabbled with satanic magic in lifetime..)

Angel Dust:

TW: brief discussion of SA

this is definitely my second favorite redesign. i loooove insect themes and wanted to do more than just Extra Arms, so he now has fucked up legs and a lot of eyes too! story-wise, angel used to be a criminal mastermind, hated by both the mafia and the feds. he was a gentleman thief, arranging massive heists under the cover of night while also partaking in the occasional drag show. he ended up a cocaine addict later in life, which caused his work to become sloppier. eventually he was killed in a heist gone wrong, specifically shot by the police.

i'm not gonna go too in-depth on the SA part of his story, but he is hypersexual due to being assaulted in both his life and afterlife. it would be something he'd be working on in the rewrite. his reason for coming to the hotel in the first place may have even been for help with this trauma. underneath his sultry exterior is a broken guy who really just needs someone to care about him for who he really is and not for what his body can do.

LUTE:

so lute and adam are some of the characters i have the most gripes about. the biggest one being why viv chose adam as the leader of the exorcists in the first place. if she wants a biblical figure tied to demon killing, Archangel Michael is RIGHT THERE, aka the one destined to kill satan during the events of Revelations. if she wants the first human to die, that would be Abel, not Adam. and i kinda doubt abel would want to do the stuff that HH!adam has been doing. if she wants an angel related to torture, Dumah is her guy! an angel that rules over wicked souls and tortures sinners every day except sabbath. so many better options...

with that out of the way, Lute is still the lieutenant of the exorcist, who are a specially chosen group of powers sent to purge hell once a year. think navy seals. she's pretty much the same as in the show, albeit more muscular and visually different from other exorcists (seriously why do they all look exactly the same?????) she's a very repressed lesbian who hasn't had time to work on that due to her duties

i also redesigned the exorcist uniform/armor because those LED purge masks are fugly as hell and their clothes don't even look remotely like armor.

Adam + Final Thoughts

i did start a redesign of adam but got bored of it. regardless, i think he'd be the head of C.H.E.R.U.B. instead of the exorcists. he doesn't want his children to make the same mistakes he and eve did, so together they started C.H.E.R.U.B. to help lost souls stay out of hell

final thoughts uhhhh i'm tired. show sucks, it had so much potential but viv ruined it by being a shitty writer and an even shittier person. the designs are fine i guess but they all look exactly the same and are in desperate need of variety. the humor is dogshit, saying dick and balls and penis over and over and over again doesn't make it any funnier than the first three times you made that joke. anyways that's it, i hope you liked my inane ramblings. gonna go vanish for another forty years or so, adios

[1moreff-creator]

DRDT CH2 EP16 First Impressions

We’ve reached the end of the chapter! A bittersweet feeling, finally getting closure on this chapter while also ushering in a new hiatus. Still, congrats to dev for making it this far! Hope they enjoy their break, while we enjoy whatever they’ve cooked up for the ending!

Without further ado, let us enjoy peak.

Spoilers for the entirety of CH2 (hell yeah). CW: Execution, suicidal thoughts.

It’s Aceover.

ONE vote for Teruko! Do we think Ace voted for himself? Did the mystery voter from Trial 1 repeat their vote on Teruko? Or did they not, and the vote’s just Ace? {Hindsight: It’s CH1 Mystery Voter probs}

MonoTV: “You got it right!” IT’S ALL OVER.

Okay wait it’s actually kinda weird to see the new David sprites outside of the Trial. Like it’s trippy idk why. That’s crazy.

Eden: “Why her of all people?” Poor Eden, at least give her an answer! Even if it’s just “it was the easiest option” man.

Whit: “I really thought that no one would repeat what happened to Xander and Min.” Is this the very first piece of anti-Whit Time Loop theory evidence? Or is he just lying? I don’t believe the theory, so I’m passing that one to the defenders.

Ace: “I killed her. And if you can’t forgive me for that, then there’s nothing I can say.”

Hey remember when Nico said they didn’t see the point of saying sorry if they wouldn’t be forgiven anyways? Yeah.

The foils are foiling :O

Both Teruko and Eden blaming themselves in their own way (Eden mentioned it in Ep10 “just like Min!” and now Teruko’s bringing “misfortune” into the conversation), man we are in for some sad times with these two. And everyone else ig.

Hu: “How could you say it’s just misfortune?” And Hu is very against this idea, interesting.

“So we can’t blame ourselves for failing to prevent something like that.” Ah, there’s the ticket. She’s trying not to feel guilty about it, which is kinda fair, Arei’s death is 99% Ace’s fault.

Eden: “The Ace I met for the first time wasn’t a murderer.” Oof, Eden hitting us with the full highlight line. She’s so great for this honestly. Everything she says afterwards is also great for her character, I love her (and I don’t need to read her lines with suspicion!!! I’m free!!!)

Veronika. And she’s still smiling. Go worst girl! /affectionate

“The only thing anyone can do in this killing game is to shatter.” We are… getting worryingly close to secret quote wording here.

Rose: “Are you saying Ace was pushed into killing because of things like almost being killed?” (Paraphrased) Oh God she’s gonna feel guilty too because she let Nico get the turpentine! Even if that doesn’t work if Ace had already chosen to kill Eden, still! How much self-blame can we have this trial?

Teruko: “No.” Yeah thank you.

Ace: “Did you all get the Veronika virus or what?” God I’m gonna miss him so much actually.

[To Levi] “Shut up for the rest of your life and kill yourself!” Holy SHIT he’s going out with a bang. {Hindsight: I didn’t realize how accurate this would be}

David: “You still have it in you to throw stones in your glass house.” Did this motherfucker correctly use the idiom Ace fucked up earlier? He’s such a piece of shit /affectionate.

Ace: “I don’t care if it made me a hypocrite!” AGH-! New sprite and the voice acting continues the hot streak of being absolutely fucking stellar! Holy hell!

[To Levi] “I just needed a reason to stay mad at you!” Ouchie!

[The whole Levi v Ace thing] This is just fucking incredible. Levi still doesn’t understand, Ace just wanted to stay mad so he could live with his betrayal, just peak character writing all around. And peak VAing, of course.

Teruko: “I need you to do a favor for me. It might just save your life.” YOOO I CALLED THIS!!! Blackened Blaze of Glory let’s fucking goooo!!!! Thanks to shinycrows for asking me that!!!

“Kill MonoTV for me.” Alright so. Not the best plan ever, but then again, it’s not like any plan against the killing game will work on CH2. Also the way she said that was great.

MonoTV: “Yeah, more murder!” Why’s it so funny for?

Teruko: “Arei died because you’re a coward, Ace!” YO why’s she going so hard right now?! This entire scene is incredible, I don’t even have any words for this much peak. The emotion in her voice, holy fuck- Oh yeah because Arei’s crying reminded her of something! In the playground! So Teruko does have a small connection with Arei so she’d feel real bad (for more reason than just death of someone she knew)! I didn’t put that together till now.

[Ace punches MonoTV] PEAAAK! Oh shit it actually broke! That was so fucking awesome! Let’s fucking go Ace!!!!! Also MonoTV is definitely just coming back, right?

That broken MonoTV sprite though!

Eden: “Finally, it’s over—“ The lack of music is making this really impactful, even though we know it won’t work. Holy shit.

MonoTV: “A fatal error has been detected” We breaking out different fonts?

MonoTV: “Now loading the default XF-Ture personality drivers.”

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AND THE CROWD GOES FUCKING WILD!!!!

Now we have the question. Was MonoTV created by XF for the game? Or did XF just create the AI, and someone repurposed it for thre killing game?

Also what are these defaults going to be?

…Wait whose voice is this? Someone we know? Please tell me I’m bad at recognizing voices! {I think it’s still MonoTV’s VA, just doing a different act, but I’m not sure}

[MonoTV speech] Didn’t expect MonoTV of all damn characters to have a badass moment, but I guess this is the world we live in now.

“But there is no reason to punish Ace a second time.” UHHH Chat are we cooked?

The death of every participant? This is about rule 14, right? “All murderers must be held accountable”? The “everyone is responsible for Mai’s death and must be punished” theory seems to be gaining ground.

It’s also saying this is why it was created, so XF likely did have a direct hand in the killing game. Min MM not looking so implausible all of the sudden.

“I will pass the punishment…” chat we’re actually immensely cooked what.

“I will now proceed with the execution of Teruko Tawaki.” UHHH LUCK BETTER COME IN CLUTCH!!!

[Machine Gun] BRO?!?!?!

Charles: “That thing will surely kill you!” Even Charles is sounding extremely distressed here, damn! But I guess Teruko is relying on her luck maybe?

Whit: “Charles! Stop talking and cover your eyes!” I mean yeah good advice but you know- More pressing things atm

Teruko: “No :)” Why’s she so silly coded?

Teruko: “Killed? I doubt it. As if something so kind could happen to me.” AAAAAAH!!!! The suicidal tendencies return with a vengeance!!!

[Her speech] Holy fuck holy fuck this is crazy she’s actually doing the unhinged Lucky Student thing of relying on luck she’s going in I’m so terrified for what’s about to happen.

“I’ll show you all what it means to be the Ultimate Lucky Student.” Shit boutta go crazy.

[LEVI DOES THE THING] OF FUCKING COURSE!

Bro I was not ready for this. I wasn’t ready in the slightest. This motherfucker better survive against all odds or it’s all over.

Bro that sprite- He’s so cooked.

MonoTV: “His injuries are not fatal” Wait are we saved? Arturo look I know you’re not a doctor but for the love of God tell me you can do something about this holy shit. I wasn’t ready for this.

VERONIKA. Holy shit she’s actually insane.

Arturo: “He could live…” Please??? For me???

Wait now that I’m thinking about it. He hasn’t said his secret quote. We might be saved.

[Whit sprite] … Huh??? Bro what the fuck is happening this episode.

Ace: “Execute me right now!” Ough this shit insane!!! I can’t- I genuinely can’t react. I’m just overcome with emotion at this point.

“I’ll have a third death in my hands!” … Wait the math. Unless he’s counting himself… does he blame himself for Taylor’s death???

[The entire Arturo - Ace debacle] I…holy shit???? The genuine distress in Arturo’s voice when he says he can’t save Levi??? Ace clinging to the hope that he can??? Bro what the fuck??? This is insane???? I can’t- I can’t compute- This is actually insane. This is so much. Levi better not fucking die after this I swear to god-

Ace: “I don’t want to die…” Holy shit dev did it. I’m feeling just as bad for Ace as I felt for Min. Bra-fucking-vo. Holy fuck. No words.

[Thanatophobia]

(Fear of death right? Fits)

… Okay, so. I know someone brought up this term in relation to Ace. Genius, first.

Second, that might just be one of the greatest executions I’ve even seen, if not the best. I usually don’t care much about how good executions are, but this… this is incredibly good. The music was banging. The execution method was unique. It wasn’t related to his talent, but his character, which makes it better imo.

(Also are the “unexplained illnesses” related to Xander’s family?)

And even through all this… dev showed the corpse. When they didn’t show Min’s. Why would you allow me to cope even further? You drop XF and show a corpse- holy shit. I just can’t even process anything.

And he didn’t say his quote. He never said it I don’t think. Levi better survive.

VERONIKA. Holy shit she’s actually getting more and more unhinged by the second the hell-? Yeah remember when she looked unnerved by Min’s execution?!?! She ain’t looking unnerved no more!

Hu: “The elevator is open!” We’re just- gonna ignore- Alright, I guess it’s fair. Surely Levi survives right?

Rose please tell me you looked away. I know you saw Levi so it’s not looking great either way, but still.

Teruko: “Go on without me.” Is she going to talk to David maybe? About the secret?

“Everyone was gone.” Alright no, she’s just going to mourn or something?

[Teruko reflects on her similarities to Ace and Arei] I really like this moment, it’s nice of her to say what the audience was probably already thinking.

MonoTV: “I must convince everyone that I’m the villain.” And what does this mean MonoTV? Genuinely too burnt out to think about it any harder rn.

MonoTV: “That is the fate that I have, to make others suffer.” HOW ARE WE TYING MONO FUCKING TV TO THE THEME OF FATE?!?!?!WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE HAVE TO TALK ABOUT FUCKING “TERUKO-MONOTV PARALLELS” WHAT THE FUCK?! DEV YOU SON OF A BITCH YOU DID IT AGAIN!!! /positive

[Teruko breaks down] Holy hell…

“I had known the answer…” AUGH- The character writing… it’s so good… fucking hell this is incredible…

Where do we even go from here? Teruko’s speed running the themes of trust and fate like they’re not the main themes of the series?!?! I’m going crazy.

… Are we seriously leaving it on a cliffhanger whether Levi is alive or not? Like, I know the “surviving students” thing counted him, so I’m guessing he’s alive, but… hot damn. This is an evil cliffhanger.

(Also I find it funny that David’s silhouette sprite did in fact change to what the dev said was his new default lol)

“Seems there’s something he’s not proud of” The nailbiting right.

-

General Thoughts

…

…

…

…

Bro how the fuck am I expected to even begin to summarize this shit?!?!

Okay, in… ascending order of crazy.

Did David just… not speak almost the entire episode? Did he even have any lines when Teruko was being executed? The fuck is going on with him? He didn’t even reveal Teruko’s secret???

Veronika was unhinged. Loved that for her. Hope she gets worse, it seems like CH3 will be a fun chapter for her (I hope that doesn’t mean she dies).

Whit officially gets his very own unhinged/breakdown sprite! We’ve completed the set! I mean, it’s not as crazy as others, but it matches Rose’s so…

Everyone endures further trauma, fun.

I even feel bad for Arturo! Poor guy did not ask for this shit! There’s fun foils here with Levi trying to protect the group as much as he can and Arturo being forced into the role…

Also. Of all ships. I did not expect Aceturo to get a dub here somehow.

I somehow called more or less predicted what Teruko was gonna do. Fun how that happened. And her little character reflection at the end was awesome, I loved it very much. Jesus fuck.

That’s gotta be the best execution I’ve ever seen, hands down. I don’t care that there wasn’t a single horse there. This is much better.

Also, no secret quote from Ace. So those are 100% not a good metric for defining who is at risk of death. Wonder if that means we’ll get a flashback with him?

XF-Ture Tech?!?!?! MonoTV character building kinda?!?!?!?! I’m going crazy?!?!?!

Levi??? This motherfucker better be alive. There’s no reason he should be dead, so I’m gonna assume he’s alive. But wow… I guess weightedblankettt was sorta right on the “final orbit” interpretation of Levi’s connection to Shoemaker-Levy 9, just… not in a way we expected. (If that meant nothing to you don’t worry about it).

And Ace… Hot damn. Just… an entire character arc at the eleventh minute, huh? How’s that for the people who were saying Ace wouldn’t be remembered, huh? Levi probably owes him his life, in a way. He broke MonoTV. He faced his thanatophobia to try to help Levi survive. Just… so fucking good. I said it in the reaction. I genuinely felt just as much grief for him as I did Min. And coming from me, that’s… a lot. Just incredible writing and voice acting and everything in between…

This cements it, btw. This is my favorite trial from anything DR related ever. It’s genuinely insane. I am going to make a more detailed, more coherent post analyzing the entirety of Part 2 of this chapter, because it deserves it. It deserves more thought than I’m able to give right now on account of feeling too many emotions. Stay tuned for that, I guess.

Props to the dev, the VAs, and anyone who might have laid a hand on this at some point. It’s genuinely incredible, this is an unforgettable experience. Holy shit.

I don’t- I don’t have the emotional energy to keep writing. Just… I think I need to calm down for a few hours. Genuinely loved every second of this. Thanks for reading, and see you when I gather my thoughts enough to trust myself to be coherent.

[just-a-fluffy-knight]

Wolverine Tickle-Cannons!

My Deadpool headcannons can be found >>here!!<<

A/N: yeah uhhhhhh no one look at these /j 😭😭 I am aware that I have requests to get to but I do not have enough motivation to complete a fic rn and Deadpool and Wolverine is all I can think about right now sooooo here’s a lil bit of food for y’all 🤲🏻

Another thing: These headcannons are for Deadpool 3 Wolverine only, as I haven’t seen any other movies with him in 😞 so these may not even be accurate and incredibly ooc butttttt oh well :3

⚠️ Another thing!! These do contain minor spoilers soooo feel free to come back to this later 👋🏻 Hope y’all like these!! :]] ⚠️

@neppy-34 I apologise I stole some of your ideas we shared feel free to sue me 😞🙏🏻 /lh

Lee:

Yk what??? Fuck you /pos *slams down a bunch of possibly ooc headcannons*

HES TOO GRUMPY I NEED HIM TO SMILEEEEE

Definitely deadpans you like in the gif above if you ask him the dreaded “are you twordish?” question

But he is :]

Like we’ve all seen that X-Men scene that reveals his stomach is ticklish right??

ALSO. HIS FUCKIN LAUGH HERE (scene from the movie used)

THE WHEEZE AND THE SNORT JUST AUGH (imma get him)

His weak spots are definitely his belly and ribs but I feel like Wade would also scratch behind his ears or under his chin to be an asshole

“Whosh a snorty wittle honey badger, huuuuh? You are! Yes, you are-!”

“SHUT THE FUHUCK UP!”

To add onto this he also cusses like a sailor when getting wrecked

Acts incredibly pissy before, during and after getting wrecked, but lets out these like…. content little growls JSJSGAHSHD IDEK ANYMORE DUDE

Will definitely need to restrain him if you don’t wanna accidentally get sliced by his claws or kicked across the room

Like he definitely cut Wade’s hands off once and he was like

“…Bud I kinda need those to do this-“

“Why the hell do you think I just did that?”

ALSO ALSO the scene in the bar where he was drunk?? Bro literally giggled omg

So he’s definitely an easier target if he’s drunk like his claws barely come out and he smiles so much more 😭❤️

But once he sobers up he acts way more grumpy than he usually does, claiming he doesn’t remember any of that shit even though he does VIVIDLY-

Okay one final thing Wade definitely carries him like a bride to milk the joke that he’s short asf in the comics

Ler:

Y’KNOW WHAT?? FUCK YOU AGAIN /pos (slams down even MORE possibly ooc headcannons)

Okay lemme just start with the gif above??

Like that’s literally him if you’re being annoying and he’s trying so hard to just deal with it but then you drop one joke that really riles him up

“…Okay, that’s it, you little shit-“

Okay I feel like this is something that you’d really have to get his playful side out for him to do, but the scene where he dashes towards Wade on all fours??

Yeah he’d do that in a chase

Like specifically to scare Wade

“Oh, we’re gonna do this? Fine, let’s fuckin go.” *gets down and SCARPERS*

“*SCREAM-!* HOLY SHIHIT SPIDER SOCIETY COME GEHET YOUR FUCKING BOSS-“

(yes I did drop a Miguel Ohara reference because that was the first thing I thought of watching that scene for the first time 😭)

Oh and he’ll definitely wreck Wade to tears if he’s being too irritating

Like?? There’s a way to shut him up that doesn’t involve him uselessly stabbing him because he’ll only regenerate anyway?? Fuck yeah‼️

I doubt he’d be one to tease per se, but he’s definitely a massive asshole about wrecking you

“Jesus Christ, you’re loud. You mind? I’m trynna focus here.”

“This isn’t fair? Life ain’t fair. You’re the one who decided to mouth me off, so who’s really at fault here?”

HED ALSO DO THIS THING WHERE while he’s wrecking you he’ll suddenly stop and be like

“So? You ready to stop being a jackass?”

But you’re still too giggly and busy trying to get your breath back to respond so he’ll go

“No? Alright, suit yourself.”

Buuuuuut sometimes you may catch him smirking or chuckling at how much you’re laughing your ass off :]

Raspberries and tickle bites?

………………….yes

Like bro look at those fuckin MUTTONCHOPS

They would tickle so bad omfg

Like imagine him growling into your neck or belly or AUGHSHSHAHA

okay I’m done

And as a lil bonus here’s some more silly ideas involving ‘The Greatest Showman’ references because we both thought that shit was hilarious 😭😭

AAAAAA hope you guys liked these I am very insane about Deadpool and Wolverine if you couldn’t tell :33

[licensedproldier]

highlights from the dropout anthony padilla/courtney miller interview! (aka things i liked or didnt know)

ally IMMEDIATELY kicking us off by introducing themselves as vic michaelis and dabbing so softly

ally ALSO IMMEDIATELY kicking us off by calmly answering the 'tell us about yourself' question with "ive been testing positive for covid for about 3 weeks now" "is that true?" "of COURSE NOT OH MY GOD??"

ally calls the covid vaccine the "Fauci-ouchie"

its been 1 minute into the video

VIC LYING ABOUT THEIR FAVORITE COLOR FOR NO REASON

its been TWO minutes into the video

ALLY HIJACKING HER ATTEMPT TO ASK AGAIN BY MOVING ONTO THE TRANSITION THEMSELF

ok we're locking in locking in

everyone needs to hear the ally wrongpile beardsley story at least once <3

vic was 100% in on sam's vision for dropout and ally COULD not have been more full of doubt.

all of them saying a contemplative 'ooooo' when asked if they miss sketches and then a beat afterwards vic immediately bursting out with 'sketch is dead i hate sketch. anyway-"

IFY MOO DENG MENTION

ify talking about how close and interconnected the cast is and was off screen since way back

"noo c'mon c'mon those are those pale clammy little hands i love so much 🥺" "theyre DRY AS A BONE"

vic's "I just dont ever think that anyone is thinking about me. like i am thinking about myself 100% more than anyone else is thinking about me"

vic thought it was crazy when they got asked to host VIP because she felt too new for it despite having a lot of experience

ally thinks its funny to make each other do the thing theyre known for but also they agree brennan is just that analytical about every topic and birds are not special KHADGKASJDF

vic and ify enthusiastically agreeing with the above LMAO

vic plays a character of herself while ify performs very close to his actual self

'is the broke comedian bit real' all of them immediately exaggeratedly laughing and looking away and going NOOO WE'RE FINEEE WE'RE FINEEE

ally's analogy of watering a plant that has been dead for a long time and how they might be doing good but the water has a lot of past cracks to fill in which i dont know enough about plants to tell if this is an accurate analogy but its an effective one

money-wise, the tide has turned for the better for them in the last few years 🥺

dropout did profit-share last year! vic cried 🥺

ify "i was there when youtube was created by a couple of guys" GOOGLE HOW OLD IS YOUTUBE. ONLY 19??????

ally needing clarification on if he was actually THERE when it was created or not

ify talking about how more people in the industry are recognizing him FROM dropout things

THE EDITORS ACTUALLY USING THE CLIP OF ALLY'S DAB AS A TRANSITION

vic "10 years ago if you told me i could actually make money from doing improv and my reaction was anything other than 'holy shit thats incredible' i would like murder myself. i would throw myself into a trash can"

immediate no's on "do you feel like you have to share your personal lives on camera" because they just like oversharing

"oh you grew up mormon too?" "no but i just LOVE 💞🥰 the mormons"

"studio CE shoutout. dont shout them out actually. well, you can if you want to."

some great takes on parasocial relationships

ify thinks his audience are the kinky poly folks. can we get a shout from the kinky poly folks!

ify pointing right at the camera and saying "IF you are at a sex party and i introduce myself as IFY do NOT give me your fake stage name. you are saying my REAL GOVERNMENT name here"

ally bringing up chappell roan in the parasocial relationships discussion yoooo

ify doing a voice imitation of his uncle suggesting he do jokes for a relative's graduation KHAGKAJKAKJDFSD

the horror on all their faces when courtney says they're lucky that fans dont ask them to do something funny in public when they meet them

grilled cheese scale: ify's are solid. ally is a good cook but they're allergic to bread, vic inconclusive

vic loves the joke of being called vehicular and would change their government name to it even LMAO

izzy roland shoutout!!!!!

ify's sex dungeon would also be where he paints warhammer minis.

"what is your favorite thing that he did" "...anthony?" "yeah" "th. this? this channel? this right here?"

SZA talked about ify on VIP in a variety article???

SZA INTENTIONALLY DRESSED UP LIKE IFY WAS ON VIP?????

this is like the first time i saw mxmtoon commented on zac's instagram except magnified by a hundred

"Grimes if you're watching this, slide into the DMs"

ally fanning themselves going "thats actually too hot i simply need to go" hearing that lana del rey graduated studying philosophy with an emphasis in metaphysics

everyone at this table ships ally beardsley and lana del rey

nice to know ify and em are still together!

"do you consider yourself an angel of death? i consider myself an angel of death for network television" vic talking about how theyve been on SO many second-to-last episodes of shows that were canceled 😭

Super fun and insightful!!!! we dont get to see these three vibe together much on screen 🥺 video under cut!

[sneap-sneap]

ok trying baking soda and apple cider vinegar bloat holy shit

first off baking soda-mixed it with water, drank it with a straw cause that shit nasty and it can bypass your tongue easier. Just a tiny bit, not even a quarter teaspoon. Drinking it I started feeling bloated, but I wasn’t sure if that was just from drinking a lot of liquid yknow? Or from the acid already in my stomach? But then then apple cider vinegar, just a little, also mixed with water. The effect was literally instant. It was like a stretching sensation, like when you puff your belly out to make it larger, but it’s not you doing something, it’s something doing it to you. It felt really good tbh 👉👈 like I can’t puff out my belly any more 😳 rubbing it feels incredible too 😖 all gurgly and gassy >.<

And I was like “is this healthy and ok” and the answer’s yeah cause baking soda is basically what’s in Tums, and people drink apple cider vinegar just for funsies, and they’re neutralizing each other anyways. OBVIOUSLY don’t do it every day, cause too much baking soda can be bad for you and cause your stomach to over-produce acid but again, ur putting more acid in legit right after ur putting in the base so ur making up for it. Idk which would be better to consume first, maybe ACV first so the reaction is more dramatic and all at once?? Ugh organic chemistry coming in clutch fr 😎😎😎 but it’s better for you and more ..scientifically accurate (?) than like coke and mentos, or banana and sprite, although arguably a briefer experience. idk tbh I haven’t tried the others 🤔🤔🤔🤔 anyways that’s my review 9/10 stars, losing one only bc it was so short (might also be a benefit tho in certain circumstances) ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

[thrashkink-coven]

Lord Lucifer being the keeper of the hidden gnosis is so funny to me because like

everyone who doesn’t know him assumes the Emperor is going to be super brooding and intense and loud but because he’s the keeper of hidden knowledge he’s always so so excited and thrilled whenever people find him. Like Lucifer is usually a rather relaxed and mellow energy, as opposed to someone like Belial for example, who is very in your face large and in charge. Lucifer has so much authority and is very casual about it. But it also seems very much like he can’t help but be SO excited whenever people seek him for spiritual enlightenment or hidden knowledge. Like “I’ve been DYING for someone to ask me that, I would love to show you. check this shit out”

I love that one of his most common archetypes is “Sweet Prince” … because it’s so damn accurate. He is SO sweet and so eager to share himself with others.

I find it so endearing hearing from other demonolaters that don’t work with him primarily, because it’s always like “Lucifer seemed very happy that we were studying the demonic kingdom. Lucifer is extremely responsive. Lucifer seems very excited that we’re documenting sigils. Lucifer wont stop talking.”

because I know that when those people made those books he was just THRILLED that people were FINALLY writing it down. I know he was just SO ecstatic to share the enns and sigils. Like “holy shit! You made it! You found me and now others are going to be able to find me too HELL YEAH” I can vividly imagine him trying to pretend to be all chill but vibrating with excitement that his sigils will finally be passed on to people in the future.

I know that’s why he favors his new devotees. Because, while he definitely still shows out to me sometimes, is very obvious that he shows off really hard to newcomers. Like “I’m gonna act all cool and sexy about it but I’m actually really fucking excited that you’re here”

He’s incredibly guiding and supportive and I think that’s largely because he’s just so damn excited about sharing his gnosis.

Oh, my sweet prince, I could listen to you forever.

[tamaruaart]

Keep in mind this isn't me hating on Kirke, I love that fucked up goddess she's such a fun character. But goddamn I hate her fans.

It's all just people trying to push feminism where it wasn't 🙃 Yes, it's true ancient Greece was kinda shitty towards women. But goddamn that was 3000 years ago. We can enjoy these stories but it's important to not push modern perspectives and view points on these stories while also not condoning these actions. Not to mention we may very well experience this kind of thing with future generations that will come after us so it's important to simply stay humble. Civilizations and humans are constantly evolving and viewpoints are constantly changing so it's not exactly fair to history nor ourselves to take these ancient ideologies to heart. Grow up.

Anyways Circe/Kirke is not your hot little witch cutie 🥰 She's a goddess and the daughter of the Sun Titan. She's done terrible things and that's what makes her iconic. Istg if she wasn't so infamous no one would even know about her. She's morally gray and that's what makes her so neat >:D Now, is it unforgivable to paint jer in a good light? No, but I think if you remove ALL of her questionable morality she losses her charms. She isn't the same Kirke anymore. (Looking at you MM, your writing is good but holy shit.)

It's not unforgivable, but it's simply incorrect. If anyone wants to learn more about Kirke's original/actual character, I don't really recommend most modern interpretations- (MM's novel, Hades 2, DC, Odyssey Movies, my bbg Epic the Musical etc...) I'd say just read the Odyssey, reasurch some older mythos and read the Argonautica.

Can you still like these interpretations of Kirke? Yes. Of course. I love Epic's Kirke even though she is pretty inaccurate. You just have to acknowledge they aren't the real thing! :D That happeneds with most characters ngl, no adaptation nor interpretation is going to be 100% accurate to the original, but with Kirke it's always so... Apparent? So visible. They never make her at LEAST 50% accurate. Which 🤬

She was not a victim, she wasn't incredibly horny, she wasn't a girlboss, she wasn't love sick for Odysseus (it's hinted she only found him to be an 'interesting mortal' of sorts) she wasn't 100% cartoon villain of the week either. She's MORALLY GRAY 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

She holds Odysseus' men hostage, she turns Scylla into a monster out of jealousy, she turns a man into a woodpecker because he didn't want to sleep with her. But she ALSO helps out Medea and Jason (even though it's because Medea was her neice but STILL) and she gives Odysseus instructions on how to head home.

She does BAD things that shouldn't be forgiven and aren't at all justified, but she also does GOOD things that should be acknowledged. She's a goddess. She's a character. She's morally gray. WHAT THE FUCK IS NOT CLICKING???? 😀

I just don't like modern interpretations of Kirke and I'm a meanie so I made this ¯⁠\���_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

That's why I stick to my 3000 year old books instead of these puny ones that were written in my century 💪💪💪

Do not apply feministic messages or themes on Kirke. Nor any Greek mythology figure for that matter. This was 3000 years ago 😀 if you want to focus on feminism FOCUS ON WOMEN WHO ACTUALLY HAD TO STRUGGLE ABOUT THESE THINGS AND THAT EXISTED IN THE 19-21 CENTURY 😀😀😀😀 WHEN PEOPLE KNEW OR WELL WERE SUPPOSED TO KNOW FUCKING BETTER. OR JUST FOCUS ON MODERN FEMALE STRUGGLES THAT ARE RELATABLE??

Also, if I haven't already made it clear. LIKING A CHARACTER ≠ CONDONING THEIR ACTIONS. I'm just talking about all the people who either call her a girlboss, hate on other figures for being morally questionable but turn a blind eye when it comes to Kirke, and people who make fun of Odysseus and call him a man whore for sleeping with Circe and Calypso. (Despite the fact he's a literal victim)

And for the last time:

👏 THIS 👏 IS 👏 NOT👏 A 👏KIRKE 👏 THE GODDESS 👏 HATE 👏 POST. 👏 THIS 👏 IS 👏 ME 👏 SLANDERING 👏 SOME 👏 OF 👏 HER👏 FANS 👏 AND👏 MOST 👏MODERN 👏INTERPETATIONS👏 OF 👏THAT 👏TWISTED 👏MORALLY 👏GRAY👏 BITCH.

Also I made a typo in the meme. God damn it dyslexia. (It's should be 'transforming' not 'transformed')

[youtellmeman]

Boyfriend! Lo’ak headcanons

All under the cut

Rated E

Fucking menace holy shit

That rumor that guys are annoying when they like you it’s cause of him

Absolutely the worst before y’all started dating his great idea to getting your attention was being annoying

This in the end like most of his shenanigans back fires so bad it’s sad cause it just leads to you ignoring his ass and then he wants to act butthurt

“Why are you ignoring me? :(”

Eventually tho he does figure out that he has like court you properly with gifts and compliments and just being nice

Sucks ass at it tbh feel like he gives the worst compliments totally on accident

“Don’t worry I think it’s cute how bad you are at weaving.” Smiles dumbly at you “You think I’m bad at weaving???”

Once you’ve fallen for him tho it’s a wrap magically gets smooth as fuck it’s wild

Knows just what to say, how to act, everything

Def a level 10 clinger

Always with you doesn’t matter if your busy he’ll just sit there and watch you

So touchy like he always has a hand on ur waist, messaging ur shoulders, tail wrapping around ur leg

Despite his recklessness with his life he is the exact opposite about you

You wanna come on one of his adventures with him, nah. You decide to do something reckless without him knowing, fattest scolding known to man

Literally the exact copy of how his father can be sometimes

Don’t tell him that tho cause he will be butt hurt about it for ages

While he might be reckless with his life he'll never be reckless with yours so be ready to get told no A LOT

you wanna go with him on one of his adventures, no. You wanna go on one of your own, no. You wanna go hunting by yourself, nah.

So protective im telling you and with being protective comes, you guessed it, jealousy!

Most jealouse mf in the world im not gonna lie to you

Like he's so used to neteyam getting what he wants while he gets in trouble for shit that once he has something of his own he is not letting go

PDA king for the sole reason that he needs everyone to know they can't have you

Someone hitting on you, he's coming up to you and just enveloping your mouth in a kiss until said person walks away

Hungry kisser for sure. Kisses like he needs you to live and it never fails to leave you breathless

the type to have you pinned against a wall, or tree if we wanna be accurate, and still pull ypu in by the waist

Theres never gonna be a time where he doesn't follow your lips when you pull away

Hands are very much everywhere he can reach like its rare that kissing him doesn't lead to something more unless its a quick peck

Loves to just plant himself in front of you if your seating and demand that you play or do his hair

Falls asleep like that incredibly often

Snores im so sorry

Mf could shake down a house with his snores if he's really tired that day

Runs hot so dw about sharing blankets in bed

Downside is he does have sweaty hands like you gonna have to pull away sometimes to air dry

Sucks at cooking but still tries cause he wants to be romantic, he almost burns ur hut down and its decided he doesn't cook anymore

wants to be ur big strong man he will hold anything and everything for you, and then will burn red if you notice

"What would i do without you and your strength to help me gather things hmm? " "I-uh-i dunno." Pink as hell

—————

A lil appetizer for before I upload part 2 of my lo’ak series

[wallterwall]

-Yum Zlurplie

You know what? Fuck you. You useless piece of shit. You absolute waste of space and air. You uneducated, ignorant, idiotic dumb swine, you’re an absolute embarrassment to humanity and all life as a whole. The magnitude of your failure just now is so indescribably massive that one hundred years into the future your name will be used as moniker of evil for heretics. Even if all of humanity put together their collective intelligence there is no conceivable way they could have thought up a way to fuck up on the unimaginable scale you just did. When Jesus died for our sins, he must not have seen the sacrilegious act we just witnessed you performing, because if he did he would have forsaken humanity long ago so that your birth may have never become reality. After you die, your skeleton will be displayed in a museum after being scientifically researched so that all future generations may learn not to generate your bone structure, because every tiny detail anyone may have in common with you degrades them to a useless piece of trash and a burden to society. No wonder your father questioned whether or not your were truly his son, for you'd have to not be a waste of carbon matter for anyone to love you like a family member. Your birth made it so that mankind is worse of in every way you can possibly imagine, and you have made it so that society can never really recover into a state of organization. Everything has forever fallen into a bewildering chaos, through which unrecognizable core, you can only find misfortune. I would say the apocalypse is upon us but this is merely the closest word humans have for the sheer scale of horror that is now reality. You have forever condemned everyone you love and know into an eternal state of suffering, worse than any human concept of hell. You are such an unholy being, that if you step within a one hundred foot radius of a holy place or a place that has ever been deemed important by anyone, your distorted sac religious soul will ruin whatever meaning it ever had beyond repair. You are an idiotic, shiteating, dumbass ape and no one has ever loved you. Rhodes Island would have been better off if you'd never joined us. You are a lying, backstabbing, cowardly useless piece of shit and I hate you with every single part of my being. Even this worlds finest writers and poets from throughout the ages could never hope to accurately describe the scale on which you just fucked up, and how incredibly idiotic you are. Anyone that believes in any religion out there should now realize that they have been wrong this entire time, for if divine beings were real, they would never have allowed a being such as you to stain the earth and this universe. In the future there will be horror stories made about you, with the scariest part of them being that the reader has to realize that such an indescribable monster actually exists, and that the horrific events from the movie have actually taken place in the same world that they live in right now. You are the absolute embodiment of everything that has ever been wrong on this earth, yet you manage to make it so that that is only a small part of the evil that is your being. Never in the history of mankind has there been anyone that could have predicted such an eldrich abomination, but here you are. It’s hard to believe that I am seeing such an incredible failure with my own eyes, but here I am, so unfortunately I cannot deny your existence. Even if I did my very best, my vocabulary is not able to describe the sheer magnitude of the idiotic mistake that is you. Even if time travel some day will be invented, there still would not be a single soul willing to go back in time to before this moment to fix history, because having to witness such incredible horrors if they failed would have to many mental and physical drawbacks that not even the bravest soul in history would be willing to risk it. I cannot imagine the pure dread your mother must have felt when she had to carry a baby for nine months and then giving birth to such a wretched monster as you.

Not a single word of the incoherent, illogical rambling you may be wanting to do to defend yourself or apologize would ever be able to make up for what you just did. The countries of the world would have wanted to make laws preventing such a terrible event like this from ever happening again, but sadly this is not possible since your horrific actions just now have shattered every form of order this world once had, making concepts such as laws irrelevant. Right from the moment I first set my eyes on you I knew you were an absolute abomination of everything that is wrong with humanity. I was hoping I would have been able to prevent your evil from being released upon this world by tagging along and keeping my eye on you, but it is clear to me now that not even the greatest efforts would have been able to prevent a terrible event in this scale from occurring. You are the worst human being, or even just being in general, that I have ever had the misfortune of witnessing. Events like the infected plague apparently only happened with the goal of teaching humanity to survive such a horrible event as the one you just created, but not even mankind’s greatest trials were able to even slightly prepare anyone for the insufferable evil you have just created. If you ever had them, your children would be preemptively killed to protect this universe from the possibility of anyone in your bloodline being even half as bad as you are, except you will never be able to have children, because not a single human being will ever want to come within a hundred mile radius of you and anything you have ever touched. You are a colossal disappointment not only to your parents, but to your ancestors and entire bloodline. The disgusting mistake that you have just made is so incredibly terrible that everyone who would ever be to hear about it would spontaneously feel an indescribable mixture of immense anger, fear and anxiety that emotionally and physically they would never truly be the same ever again. The sheer scale of your mistake, if ever to be materialized, would not only surpass the size of the world, but it would reach far beyond the edges of the known, and almost certainly the unknown universe. I could sit here and write paragraphs, nay, books describing your immense failure, yet even if I were to dedicate my life to describing the reality of what has just gone down here, and I would spend every moment of it until my heart stops beating working as hard and efficiently as possible, yet there is not even a snowballs chance in hell that I would be able to come close to transcribing the absolute shitshow you have just released upon the world. You are an irresponsible, idiotic, disgusting, unloved, horrible excuse for a living being who’s soul contains less humanity than every ginger in history combined. The absolute disgust I feel when thinking about anything that has even a slight resemblance to anything that might have to do with you and your unholy actions is so incredibly great that when I am honest about it I think that even I do not posses a consciousness great enough to comprehend my own feelings about it. When people of Columbia fought to break free from Lungmen, countless soldiers fought and lost their lives in favor of a chance at a better future for their children, they did not give their lives to have you fuck the world up beyond repair to the degree that you are doing right now. Honestly, even when technology advances and studies on the subject become more and more accurate, I do not think humanity will ever truly be able to understand what your failure actually means for the universe.

My hate for you and everything you stand for is so much deeper than the depths of Shambala that you could probably take the entire Lungmen population down there and back up around twenty million times before you would have sunk to the end of my hate, and honestly, I do not want to exaggerate, but I think that that insult was low balling it such a massive amount that all mountains in this world combined would not be able to stack up to this imprecise judgement in light of the fact that when being honest, my hate is almost certainly bottomless. There is no one in this world that has ever loved you, and especially after what you just did, no one will ever love you in the future either. There is no hope that your idiotic behavior and especially your crooked soul will ever change for the better, and in fact quite the opposite might be true. By making the mistake that you just did, you have shown me that you are so incredibly hopeless that you will only devolve into a more idiotic and wretched creature than you already are. The only possible way in which your future would be brighter than the black hole your existence currently is would exclusively be because there is absolutely no conceivable way that you would even be able to sink lower than the pathetic place your current failure has put you in. But then again, you are so incredibly abominable that you would probably be able to surpass the worst conceivable failure a living being could possibly make. You are so incredibly pathetic that you are honestly not worth any more of my words nor my time. Just remember that I will forever detest you for your failure and everything you stand for, and no matter what happens, I will never ever forgive you.