#( dialogue / emma swan )

[ncassidy]

favorite scenes in once upon a time | 1.01, pilot

[venustrape-arch]

@andthe6 [ killian ] | cont.

god knows why she's humoring him. she could have gone on climbing this giant beanstalk in complete silence just fine for the rest of the way – it's not like she doesn't have enough on her mind to mull over & keep her occupied. no time to get bored. but she can't say the same for him, clearly. " right. because in the five minutes that you've known me, you've figured out my entire past. " irrepressible eyeroll follows as she channels her annoyance into the climb, enough to get one stem ahead. " dream on. " the answer is swift & distant as she looks up, more preoccupied with estimating the rest of the way than with the the obnoxious flirt that is the pirate at her side. " & get it all out of your system now, because once we're up there, i suggest you focus. i'm not coming back down without a way back to henry. "

[matan4il]

Buddie vs Captain Swan meta

This is for the darling Nonnies who asked me to delve into the comparison! Thank you for your patience, I hope you enjoy it! xoxox

Abbreviations: OUaT = Once Upon a Time // CS = Captain Swan (the Emma/Hook ship) // SF = Swanfire (the Emma/Baelfire ship) // TPTB = The Powers that Be (the team making the decisions for a show) // ep numbers: 201 = ep 201 of 911; O201 = ep 201 of OUaT Unlike with other shows’ canon ships that I have compared in the past to Buddie in terms of what happens to them on screen, this meta is also gonna compare the two ships on the level of the decisions TPTB made (with the two levels not completely separate), which is a part of why this has been one of my fave meta posts to write, ever.

A love story on screen starts with love off screen

Alright, so let me start by mentioning that Hook’s actor (Colin) was only supposed to be on the show for a brief stint. I heard different reports on whether he was originally booked for one ep or five. Either way, it was officially confirmed that even before his first ep aired, TPTB already liked Colin’s performance enough to promote him to a series regular. Yes, before anyone at home even got to watch Hook once. They didn’t specify what they liked, but we can assume it was his acting choices, charisma, the color, humor and sex appeal he brought to the character, but also the chemistry between Colin as Hook and Jennifer as Emma, maybe as early as in rehearsals. Once they expanded Hook’s role so much, they had to tie him in with some of the other regular characters. Hook’s original link to the show was the revenge he wanted to take on Rumple (as established in O204, his first ep), but if he was gonna be a regular, he needed something more. So O205 introduces him to a group of our heroines, especially through Emma’s eyes (she’s the one who sees right through him), while the climax of this meeting plays out in O206, laying out the foundation for CS. Just keep in mind that on 911, Ryan got the part of Eddie because of how much TPTB liked and wanted to work with him. In other words, in both cases it seems the on-screen chemistry and joint journey of two characters started with an off-screen love of TPTB for a charismatic actor.

Both ships were given this initial trajectory of enemies to friends. In the case of CS, Hook starts out on the side of the bad guys while Emma is The Savior. He also uses a sleazy sort of flirting as a tactic: when his opponents are annoyed, it distracts them from his true intentions, and it also disarms them by making it seem like he poses no real threat since he can’t even “keep it in his pants.” He uses this on many, yet from the get go, he has a special focus on Emma. There are four heroines he meets in O205, but she’s the main one he negotiates with, tries to win over, flirts with and when the women have to decide which one of them would climb the beanstalk with him, once they chose Emma he even states, “I was hoping it would be you.” Even the way he puts the bracelet on her wrist is more physically intimate than it needs to be. That means we have an antagonistic start, alongside an undercurrent of attraction. That’s exactly what we have with Buddie as well in 201, when Buck starts out disliking Eddie, but under the surface it’s clear he’s attracted (and not just physically) to Eddie as well, to how incredible he is.

During the O206 climb, Hook starts a dialogue with Emma, but I mean, he really wants to get to know her. It’s still something he can rationalize away in his mind as him simply doing whatever serves his revenge (maybe in the long run this info might be useful), but he doesn’t strictly need this in the short run. Knowing about her first love doesn’t help with how they’ll defeat the giant and retrieve the golden compass. Yet, he wants to know. She intrigues him and makes him want more. It’s the only time we’ll see him in Os2 (other than the finale) doing something that isn’t directly needed for his revenge. In fact, the issue of whether he would betray Emma in order to further his revenge explicitly comes up (she assumes he would based on how Neal had betrayed her in the past), he doesn’t try any tricks when she’s wounded, instead he bandages her hand, goes with her altered plan on how to tackle the giant even though it puts him in a much greater danger (the new plan has benefits for Emma, none for him, yet he still accepts it), comments on how well they work as a team, and we also discover in O209 that he wouldn’t have betrayed her later on either (Hook tells her so when they both know Emma has a lie detection super power, showing that she got under his skin, to make him honest and loyal to her even when it doesn’t necessarily benefit him). My point is, this ep isn’t shy about setting up the possibility of CS being more than two people who temporarily share the same goal. This is so much like Buddie, whose compatibility is clearly cemented in 201 beyond just that one grenade call they worked on together in the ambulance, leading to them exchanging a vow to have each other’s back.

Emma’s reaction to him is played in a more understated fashion. She goes with him because they need the compass, but she doesn’t like the flirting, she openly doesn’t trust him and at first she doesn’t quite open up to his questions. However, we get a hint that her real reaction might run deeper than it initially seems because we get her flashbacks to Neal (the name Baelfire chose for himself in The Land Without Magic), the only love she’s had before. Those flashbacks are triggered simply by meeting Hook, later intensified by his questions. He got under her skin from the start. She also spots his tattoo and asks about the woman mentioned in it. She wants to get to know Hook better, too. When he doesn’t really wanna open up to her about his lost love either, she also guesses correctly what it is he’s not telling her. When he acknowledges she’s right by calling her perceptive, she returns his honesty by admitting she might have been in love before (despite lying about it earlier). That makes their interaction perfectly mutual. We get everything needed for the classic trope of enemies to friends to eventual lovers, not to mention soulmates. And again, the mutual nature of the attraction is so similar to what we get with Buck and Eddie, who both want to get to know the other one better even at the peak of not getting along. Buck still asks Eddie questions to better understand the new guy, while in all of 201, the only person Eddie is shown as being interested in on a more personal level is Buck, with that comment at the gym about knowing that he’s a good guy going through a tough break up, showing empathy, but emphasizing they’re on the same team...

Keep your friends close and your story telling options closer

But CS didn’t get a simple love story set up. I’m certain the original plan was for Emma to actually have a different endgame, which IMO makes the comparison of CS with Buddie so much more interesting. Os2 is full of hints that Emma’s intended endgame was Neal. SF as endgame includes epic symbolism: Emma, the daughter of THE Good Guys from the Enchanted Land, and Neal, the son and grandson of THE Bad Guys from that land, meet in the Land Without Magic, fall in love and have a child together, their union bringing eventual salvation for all. It’s the stuff fairytales are made of! I also have to say that I really loved Baelfire as a kid, so it makes sense that if TPTB set him up to be such a loved character, they would want him (and assume the viewers want him) to have the ultimate happy ending with Emma.

How does CS fit into that? Well, my theory is that when introducing us to them, TPTB saw dramatic potential in the chemistry between Hook and Emma, plus it helped link him to the show, but they hadn’t decided yet how exactly to play with this ship alongside their intended endgame one. I believe they saw three options, and they tried to create the foundation for CS so that it would reasonably lend itself to any of the three, though I do think they had a preference. The first option was to set up the potential of CS as a romantic ship, but then not follow through, making it clear that Hook is attracted to Emma, but that her link to him would just be as The Savior, with him being one of many she helps to save. In other words, Hook’s attraction would be one sided, but it would help him to redeem himself and at some point find his own happy ending. Another option, and I believe the main one they were considering during Os2, was for CS to grow into something romantic (and mutual), but not an endgame ship. It would be a station on Emma’s romantic journey, and the love triangle created by CS would be another obstacle for SF to overcome (and it makes me LOL forever that we got a bit of that love triangle treatment for Buddie when Taylor was around, even without Buddie going canon, unlike CS who had kissed by the time Hook discovers Neal is still alive). The last option is again one that I think TPTB were less interested in, but made sure not to close the door on, which is that the set up for CS would grow into an actual endgame ship.

Why do I think the love triangle option was the initially preferred one? IMO just like Os2 is full of signs that SF were meant to be endgame, we also have hints that TPTB’s course was to create that love triangle between SF and CS, for example in the O206 flashback to the time when Neal shoplifted the swan keychain for Emma. Right within the shot there’s a heart-shaped keychain with a pirate symbol on it. Another example that connects the two ships is that in this ep, Hook tells Emma about having been in Neverland, while in her flashbacks we see SF talking about settling down, and she jokingly asks, “Like, where? Neverland?” Also, on the beanstalk, Hook says he can tell she has the look in her eyes of a lost kid who’s been abandoned by her parents. We already know based on the set up of his revenge story that Hook’s a bit of a lost soul himself (and we’ll find out in O222 that he was an abandoned orphan, too). This was Neal’s background as well. All three are, in a sense, kindred spirits. In fact, while O206 establishes the start of CS and shows us SF for the first time through flashbacks, O221 is going to show us that, independent of this, Hook and Baelfire had also crossed paths and cared about each other, completing all sides of the love triangle. Notice how ALL of these things, because they connect and parallel Hook and Neal, can just as easily support the idea that Hook was always meant to be an obstacle for SF to overcome, or that Hook is Emma’s true love. This is what TPTB like, to keep their options open in case things (and their preferences) shift.

I see similarities here to what happened with Eddie’s character on 911. He was brought in because TPTB liked Ryan and wanted him on the show. They were reorganizing after Abby’s departure in 110, so they introduced Maddie’s character as the new anchor at Dispatch, as well as Eddie to make the team more dynamic. Both needed ties to the team. Maddie would have one in Buck, but she also needed a romantic connection. We know TPTB decided on having the new characters develop a romance. JLH took one look at the ship name and said, “Chim,” 'coz she’s a queen. Which means Maddie would still have her romance, but what would tie Eddie on a personal level to the 118? My guess is TPTB saw the chemistry between Ryan and Oliver, and decided to go with that as the significant bond they’d give Eddie. The changes were made before 201 even aired. Once the ep did, Eddie’s entire introduction is all about Buck, including some clear hints at the option of a romance, without committing to it yet. I’m talking of course about the way Eddie’s presented shirtless for Buck to take him in, the sexy tune “Whatta Man” playing in the background, plus of course the classic enemies to friends trope. Again, TPTB hint at it, lay out the foundations, but keep their options open. When you run a show, there are a lot of elements that might end up not playing out as you intended them to, so you have to reserve some level of flexibility, keep your plans in mind, but also be able to adapt to what ends up working on screen. That’s why I think there were other hints at a possible romantic Buddie throughout s2 (the most blatant of which was the Elf Lady scene in 210 and the social media comments about Buddie in 218), but without anything becoming explicit yet. I do assume back then, they hadn’t decided yet whether to go canon with Buddie or not.

A part of what makes the comparison off screen so fascinating to me is contemplating what made TPTB change course and decide that the option they’re going with is CS as endgmae after all, because it might reflect on when and how a similar decision has been/will be made on 911 regarding Buddie. I do think the ultimate factor was on screen chemistry that garnered CS tons of vocal fans even before anything canon happened between them. Does that remind you of a certain 911 ship? But then, I also think SF's chemistry paled in comparison (I can specify in detail why the ship fell short on the story telling level as well, but my impression is it was a poor decision to cast Neal without an audition, including a chemistry read for SF. CS absolutely sizzle together. Chemistry is a mystery that few have managed to decipher. It’s not about whether actors are good or not, it’s not about whether they like each other as people off screen, it’s an unknown. And it might also be, at least to a degree, in the eye of the beholder. I’m sure there are SF fans who think their ship’s chemistry was way better than CS’. But I say to a degree ‘coz there usually is a general consensus, and in the case of Emma, most viewers seemed to agree her chemistry with Hook was off the charts). If the only ship that OUaT set up in a way that could (and was meant to) rival CS was failing to do that, what were the chances that any other incoming ship would? I suspect this is what settled the score in favor of CS. Not only did they become a canon couple, not only did they become Emma’s endgame, they became in a sense the whole show’s endgame. OUaT’s main theme (explicitly repeated) is that anything is possible if you only hold on to hope. The last significant zoom in we get for the entire show is on CS hugging while holding their little baby girl, Hope. 911 is very similar in its hopeful themes to OUaT, so here I have to point out that no one gives Eddie or Buck hope that things can be good quite like the other man (just one example is Eddie struggling from the very start of s5, and Buck helping him and giving him hope in 514 in ways no one else, not even a therapist, can).

Basically, this dynamic of TPTB creating a ship and not committing to it, but wanting it present in the minds of the viewers and realizing over time that none other could compare to this ship is once more very similar IMO to Buddie. After scenes like the lasagna Buddifer one in 601, there’s no character in the world that can enter the 911 verse at this point and win viewers’ hearts as the endgame ship for either Buck or Eddie over what they have with each other. Ultimately, I don’t see how TPTB can make any other choice that would be satisfying (and acceptable) for most of the audience.

In case you’re wondering whether I’m wrong and CS was supposed to be endgame all along, OUaT actually hinted within the show that this is what happened. In O621, after CS had just been married and immediately torn apart, Hook gives a small speech that seems to reflect the decision making behind the scenes: “Look, we made each other better! All right? Emma and I were never a predestined love story, guaranteed a happy ending. We fought for our love, and we won.” Within the OUaT world, where a whole bunch of things such as Being The Savior ARE predestined, there's nothing that tells Hook he and Emma weren’t. So why is he saying that? It’s TPTB inserting a meta comment into the text. As I’ve been pointing out, I believe these words resonate true for Buddie as well, who might not have been the original plan either, but they found each other, made each other better, and have been fighting together for the little family unit they ended up having.

Love is stored in the parallels

It’s fascinating to me that after CS first meet, the rest of Os2 gives each a mostly separate plot, because they’re both still preoccupied with a former love and they’re not ready to be with each other just yet. Hook is chasing his revenge, haunted by the ghost of the murdered Milah, while Emma is surprised by Neal returning to her life and taking his place there as Henry’s dad.

I find it insane how similar this is to Buddie in s2. They meet as enemies, quickly become friends, but for the most part have separate plots for that season, where Buck has to find a way to disentangle himself from Abby’s ghost (which is how he defines her when he writes his letter to her), and Eddie finds that his one request for momentary help turns into Shannon surprisingly returning to his life and trying to re-take her place there as Christopher’s mom. I’ll repeat, Hook and Buck are both haunted by the ‘ghost’ of a past lover, while Emma and Eddie have to deal with their ex, who’s also the biological parent of their kid, returning to their life. When I tell you that this perfect parallel makes me wanna chew glass...

But this allows them to resolve their issues and come closer together. There’s a moment when Hook thinks he did finally get his revenge in O215, which leads him to ponder in O220 what will become of his life if he does kill Rumple. He realizes it would be empty, as he has no one to share it with. This is a change inspired by Emma. He grasps the emptiness of his pursuit since in spite of himself, he started caring about her. It’s because of what he told her in O206, that she’s “bloody brilliant” and because of what she tells him in O222, that they understand each other (as fellow lost souls). There is something real between them that is changing him. The Os2 finale forces him to choose between his revenge and his own life. It’s a choice that he had to make before and he always chose to put himself in harm’s way in order to avenge Milah’s death (in an O311 flashback he even explicitly tells Tink that dying for his revenge would be satisfying enough). But this time, he realizes he does want to live. And as Emma challenges him in this ep to care about anyone other than himself, he does. He cares about her enough to do the right thing, returning to Storybrooke to save everyone. He practically tells her she’s the reason, that she inspired him to remember he could care about others. When he realizes his return was too late for his initial intention, but he could still help by offering the magic bean to save Henry, he immediately volunteers to do so and even to join the search party. It’s during this time that we’ll see them really coming together. That made me think of the distance we saw between Buddie in 5a, which gave way to them growing closer than ever in 5b, as Eddie confesses his greatest fear to and finds comfort in Buck.

O222 still doesn’t commit to a specific CS option, though. It could be Emma as The Savior helping Hook become better without returning his feelings, it could be the start of something that will eventually make way for Emma choosing Neal once she’s reunited with him, or it could be the start of CS as a ship that OUaT is actually invested in, not just as an obstacle to SF. When did the show decide between those options? I suspect the answer is during the hiatus ahead of Os3. What Hook did in O222, when he chose to return, it was the first selfless thing we’ve seen him do. But is it something that means he’s worthy of Emma or can compete with the feelings she and Neal still have for each other? I would argue that there’s nothing in the Os2 finale to definitively answer that in the affirmative, at least not just yet. In the Os3 premiere, however, I believe we get exactly that. We have a moment when Hook and Regina discuss whether villains like them can get happy endings. It’s a continuation of their talk in O220, where for the first time Hook wondered about whether he should have something more to his life than vengeance. In O301, he lets Regina know he hopes they can get one. As their conversation ends, the camera pans from that to Emma. That may not seem so significant, but in O416, there’s a scene where CS talk about whether Hook, as a former villain, will get his happy ending. She asks him if he’s found it, and he replies, “Don’t you know, Emma? It’s you.” Visually, the show clues us in on this almost two seasons earlier, before Hook himself had even realized it, using that shot. TPTB have already chosen CS over SF, we just don’t (officially) know it yet either.

But it’s one of those things whose full significance you’re meant to only realize during a rewatch. That’s exactly what 911 gave us with that montage of memories Eddie has in 315, where he sees the family he recognizes he’ll always fight to come back to, and that family is not just his son, it’s about both Buck and Chris. As emotional and incredible as that scene was, we discover roughly a season later that it means even more than we realized, as Eddie reveals to Buck in 414 his decision to alter his will following that call, officially and legally binding Buck to their family. Now just imagine, maybe somewhere in what we’ve seen there’s already a scene that one day, with the gift of hindsight, we’ll watch and it will hit us that TPTB were using it to signal that they had already chosen to make Buddie canon, we just needed to wait for it to unfold...

I say this because even though O301 lets us know TPTB have already settled on CS, the show itself will continue to pretend as if the love triangle between them and SF is yet to be decided throughout the rest of Os3. Hook surprised Emma more than once along Os2, but as he chose her over his revenge, she got to really see the kind of man he can be. His bloodthirst for Milah’s murderer was always fueled by his love and by the kind of devotion that only lost souls can offer. If that was so intense, just imagine what he’s capable of feeling when he begins falling in love with the one woman who he thinks of as so amazing that she could even make him let go of his vengeance. Alongside this, TPTB still dwell on Emma’s lingering feelings for Neal. That makes it seem like an open race, but it was later confirmed in an interview that they knew they were going to kill Neal before Os3 even started airing.

There are still clues in the subtext that CS are it. For example, in O301 we get to see them as a battle couple again, something we hadn’t witnessed since their first quest together climbing the beanstalk in O206. Never estimate the power of this trope! Since the days of the ancient Greeks, it has been used to signify a pair of bonded souls, ready to kill and die for each other, playing on the duality of the fierce fight one conducts for the person they harbor the most tender of feelings for, with both partners being so in sync that their bond can be counted on even in the most life threatening of situations. And yes, of course Buddie falls into this long, intense (and historically, homoerotic) tradition, as we have seen them being the ultimate battlefield boyfriends multiple times.

Another thing is that the triangle’s two sides aren’t truly balanced. What I mean by this is that when a show hasn’t decided yet, and wants to build up both ships, it will make sure to balance every significant thing one ship has with an equal counterpart for the other. In O307, CS have a meaningful moment where Emma thanks Hook for doing the right thing and telling them Neal is in Neverland, so that he can be saved. She acknowledges this is something Hook did in spite of Neal being his romantic rival for her affections. Hook responds that when he wins her heart, and he will, it won’t be because of trickery, it will be because she wants him (there are actually three opportunities Hook has in Neverland to win her “unfairly,” and he resists using even a single one of them). What this does is cement the fact that the love Hook feels for Emma can help him be a better man, someone who he once was (as we saw in O305). It’s a redemption through love story. And Neal doesn’t have an equivalent to that. Another indication is in O311, when Emma and Henry have to leave Storybrooke, knowing that once they do, they will lose their memories of everyone else. Hook tells Emma there won’t be a day when he won’t think of her. She smiles and replies, “Good.” Hook on his part is confessing that his feelings have morphed into this hopeless, epic love that will haunt him even when they’re realms apart. Emma, by accepting that, is in turn admitting that she actually does want whatever it is that has started developing between them. But when Neal told her a moment earlier that it isn’t over and he will see her and Henry again, she didn’t answer. Again, these are small signs that TPTB already knew the endgame ship before we got Emma officially choosing Hook, but they still pretended as if it’s not settled yet, still acting as if the love triangle is balanced. And I am forever thinking about 911 and what TPTB have already decided, but still aren’t ready to admit...

The on screen parallels are, like love, endless

We talk a lot about what Buddie’s ‘Oh’ moment might be, that instance of recognition of what they feel. We might not have gotten one on screen yet, or we may discover later on that, like the visual clue in O301, we can only decipher their ‘Oh’ moment in retrospect. With Hook, I think he had his in O302. Emma has to admit who she really is, that she’s still a lost girl. We, as viewers, can tell how similar she is to Hook. When they talk about it later, he asks her, “And just who are you, Swan?” and she teases, “Wouldn’t you like to know?” Hook is usually the one to bring on the flirting that most women don’t take seriously, but this time, when it’s Emma who’s being coy, he reacts with unusual sincerity and responds, “Perhaps I would.” It’s that uncharacteristic intensity that lets us know, he’s admitting it to himself. In O206, we saw that he was interested in getting to know Emma, but he could still lie to himself, hide behind how the info might come in useful at some point in his pursuit of revenge (even though we don’t see him take a similar interest in any of the other opponents). But here, he’s already let go of the idea of retribution, and is admitting to himself he honestly is interested in her, that what he feels is more than just attraction or a means to a goal. He genuinely would like to be the person allowed in. And yes, once more this is very similar to Buddie, who gravitated towards each other from the start, how they both showed such an interest in getting to know the other man better, and we got to see how similar in their trauma and journey towards healing they are, as well as being each other’s person, the one allowed in.

Another thing we have is instances of mutual longing stares. These are supposed to quietly make our guts turn, because CS exchange them in Os3 precisely whenever it seems like they can’t be together. For example, in O306 when Emma discovers that Neal, the father of her child, is still alive and in Neverland, there’s an intense exchange of stares between her and Hook. It reminds me a bit of how Buddie sometimes stare at each other, such as when the the team is discussing Eddie and Ana going to an event as a couple for the first time in 501, but it’s Buck’s eyes that Eddie meaningfully catches...

There’s of course the classic instants of jealousy. They don’t necessarily develop into full plots like on some shows, but they do exist in the background as a reminder for who someone really wants, no matter what facade they may present to the world. In O310, for example, Hook has decided to let Emma go so that she could have a chance to see if she could work things out with the father of her son. But he’s heartbroken, so he tries to take his mind off the pain by hitting on Tink, who of course realizes exactly what he’s doing and says no. Nothing happens, but Emma arrives just in time to see the two of them together and be visibly displeased by the idea. This is a lot like Eddie, even as early as 206, disliking the idea of Buck with any other person, like when he saw Taylor speaking to Bobby in that ep and ignored it, but the second he saw her speaking to Buck...

And let’s talk about building a family unit together! Well, Hook being Emma’s co-parent isn’t exactly a focal point of OUaT, since she shares custody of Henry with another, adoptive mother. The show is preoccupied enough with both Emma and Regina’s journey to accepting their motherhood and learning how to be a good parent to Henry, on top of Neal discovering that he’s a dad (not to mention all the grandparents this brings into Henry’s life), that I don’t think the show has a lot of space left to delve too deeply into Hook as Henry’s extra parental figure. And yet, it does have a whole bunch of really lovely moments that it dedicates precisely to that. For example, in O316, before CS even get together, Hook spends a lot of time with Henry to help this kid grieve. Even when we don’t see these moments on screen, OUaT makes sure to include references that let us know these are happening off screen. And to really cement it, all of O606 is dedicated to establishing that Henry does see them as a family unit and accepts Hook not just as Emma’s romantic partner, but also as an additional parent.

I don’t really have to explain how this is very similar to Buddie, where there’s no question Chris has basically embraced Buck as his other dad, and that these three ARE one family unit, right?

Another thing OUaT did with CS once it decided they were endgame is to give them an epic cinematic point of reference. I’m referring to O305, when Emma and Hook kiss for the first time. Hook, the womanizing pirate, is visibly shaken up by it. Emma, however, is still in denial and right away says it’s just a one time thing. But as she sends him away, he replies with, “As you wish.” This is an obvious reference to the movie Princess Bride which established that saying that is another form of saying, “I love you.”

Buddie have their own cinematic reference built into the ship. Their promise in 201 to have each other’s back is a clear reference to Maverick and Iceman’s exchange at the end of Top Gun accepting the other guy as their wing man. If you ask me, that was a way of saying “I love you,” too. And of course, Top Gun came out in the 1980’s, when mainstream Hollywood was not filming gay romances, but this hit film is widely known and understood as a queer coded movie. In fact, Val Kilmer himself once referred to Iceman as his first gay role... 

And God, that epic reference really fits CS. Even before they get together, Hook’s feelings for Emma are so grand, he chooses to follow her to the ends of earth and time, literally. Magical vortex that leads God only knows where opens up in O321? Hook wants to get out of there right away. It sucks Emma in? Hook deliberately lets go and allows the vortex to claim him as well, while he mutters that one day he’s going to stop chasing this woman (except he obviously won’t). You know who else follow each other into the craziest, most life endangering situations without a second thought? Yep, our resident moron in love firefighters. They will never stop chasing and saving each other either.

An additional way to build up CS as a ship and a significant one is to have them parallel the other canon couples on the show, particularly the ones that have such a sound foundation that viewers know their love is true. If CS parallel those couples, that means their love is true as well. I think the most obvious parallel on OUaT is between CS and Emma’s parents, Snow and Charming. They were THE romance in s1, cemented by their exchanged promise that they will always find each other. Just imagine how feral I went when in O511, we had Emma leading an expedition to the fucking underworld because she was hellbent on finding and saving Hook, and she utters the same epic promise of love her parents have repeatedly made to each other, that she will find him, she will always find him. Just in case we still had any doubts, in the underworld she has to undergo a test of true love, and unsurprisingly, she passes it. Hook and Emma get to spend the rest of their lives knowing that what they built together, by being there for each other, comforting and learning and saving one another, is true love. So I hope you get why it drives me a little crazy to think about how, in essence, that’s exactly what Buddie have as well, their relationship is built from the same building blocks. Not to mention, they’re also repeatedly shown to parallel the canon, foundational couples of 911, like Madney, Henren and Bathena.

Another of these parallels to Snow and Charming can be found in the language one partner uses when they try to revive the part of the ship. In O103, it’s Snow trying to save Charming in Storybrooke, and she’s begging him at first to come back to “us,” but that doesn’t really express what she feels, her desperation, so she switches over to “Come back to me.” That switch says everything about how significant the “me” is. It’s not just a general rescue attempt out of respect for the sacredness of all human life. This is personal. A loss that the rescuer cannot bear. And they have faith that the connection between them and the person they’re trying to save is another life line, in addition to the physical actions to keep the other person alive. That’s exactly what Emma is also begging Hook to do when she’s giving him CPR in O320, in those very words, after Zelena almost drowned him to death. That of course parallels Buck begging Eddie to stay “with me” in 414. Also worthy of note? None of these couples are together when one half of the ship has to rescue the other and ends up resorting to this intimate language.

A parallel I absolutely have to quietly scream about into my fist is the one about emotional walls. In O503, Hook confesses to Emma that he liked her exactly as she was. He tells her that he liked her walls, and he liked being the one to break them down. That confession holds so much, like the acceptance of the person you’re in love with as they are, with all of the parts of themselves that they see as the worst, like the love, patience and support that turns being there for someone else when they let you in on what they see as their ugliest parts into something you see as beautiful, and like that awe-inspiring realization that you are special to them because you’re the only one they let into their mess. Now tell me this isn’t precisely what we got with Buddie, when Buck physically broke down the door to Eddie’s most private space, his bedroom, and he wasn’t kicked out for doing that or met with any kind of resistance, instead what Buck got was Eddie letting down his emotional walls as well, not just in that moment, but also later on, when he allows Buck back into that mess, to help clean it up and fix his broken walls. Yes, the most significant emotional developments that happen between romantic partners are ones that Buddie got to have, too.

And lastly there’s of course the parallel that you can see in the header for this meta post, between the time Emma had to watch Hook be stabbed in front of her eyes in O423 and when Buck had to witness Eddie get shot right in front of him in 413. The way that scene plays out (one is fatally wounded, the other is horrified into paralysis, but then before they can rush in, a third party has to intervene and stop them, as the wounded partner reaches out to them) is a romantic trope in itself, because yeah, shows and movies usually only do it this way to one person when it’s their romantic partner who sees everything and is devastated by it. That Buck was put in the same position Emma during this scene, that says everything.

~~ Thank you soooo much to the amazing @buckleyirondad​ and @madsbuckley​ who shared the load of giffing for this meta (since there were so many scenes to gif). Your creations are breathtaking and so is your kindness! I seriously can’t thank you enough, I hope you had a blast making the gifs, and that everyone reading enjoys this meta! If you have, please consider supporting it by giving it a reblog, thank you! xoxox

[all-mirth-no-matter]

Mirth’s Masterlist

Explore: my everything tag | myotps

WIPs

Time After Time: (Peaky Blinders, Tommy Shelby x OC/Reader) You have been told by your mother since the moment you were born that you had the gift of prophecy. Convenient, since you managed to mysteriously transport back into time by one hundred years. What happens when you become wrapped up in the Shelby’s family business after the brothers return from the war? Will you ever get back to your own time or figure out how you got to Small Heath in 1918?

Reader Insert (tumblr): masterlist OC (multi-chapter): ao3 | moodboard

Once Upon a Supernatural Time: (Supernatural x Once Upon a Time, Dean Winchester x Emma Swan) Henry Mills needs help convincing his new-found mother, Emma Swan, to believe in magic so she can break Storybrooke's curse. Could Dean and Sam Winchester be just the help he needs to get Emma to believe? Or will they also need some convincing? Dean's dealt with a lot of things - demons, angels, witches, werewolves - but magic may be a bit out of his belief system.

Explore: ao3 | moodboards & manips

Our Lie Abilities: (Teen Wolf, Stiles Stilinski x Lydia Martin) She's a famous actress recovering from a difficult hiatus. He's a member of a band just trying to make it. They're lying to the world - but can Lydia and Stiles lie to themselves? Fake dating, non-supernatural AU.

Explore: ao3 | moodboards & manips

Doctor Who University: (Doctor Who, Tenth Doctor x Rose Tyler) Rose Tyler is still mourning the loss of her beloved mentor when she starts a new semester of classes. Unexpectedly, she develops a strong bond with his replacement - a tall, thin professor with really great hair. [currently on hiatus]

Completed

Once Upon a Time, Emma Swan x Killian Jones

Tonight You’re Mine: Two feuding band members are handcuffed together at the Enchanted Music Festival. Emma Swan, part of a rising rock band, can't stand the egotistical Killian Jones, lead man of the popular group Skull Rock. How will they survive the festival and both perform before they find a way to become free of each other?

Explore: ao3 | moodboards & manips

The Princess Bride: As the Enchanted Forest teeters on the verge of war, the reluctant Princess Emma is devastated by the loss of her true love, kidnapped by a mercenary & his henchmen, rescued by a pirate, forced to marry a prince, & rescued once again by the very crew who took her. Foiling their plans & jumping into their story is Killian, Emma's true love & friend to a dangerous pirate.

Explore: ao3 | manips

Much Ado About Nothing: Shakespeare's comedy meets Once Upon a Time. Emma as Beatrice, Killian as Benedick, Snow as Hero, and David as Claudio. A story of gossip, rumors, sarcasm, scandal, and manipulation tied up with a bow of romance and humor. What could possibly go wrong?

Explore: ao3 | moodboards & manips

Overdue: (one-shot) CS College AU. Someone keeps forgetting to return the book Emma Swan needs to complete her report, so she tracks him down and forces him to hand it over. Based on tumblr prompt.

Supernatural x Once Upon a Time Crossover

Swan Hunting: Dean Winchester embarks on one of his first solo hunts since his brother went off to college. But as he searches for answers, he becomes acquainted with a certain blonde waitress he met in the most unconventional way. A young Dean/Emma AU.

Other Swanchester One-Shots: a collection of one-shots usually accompanied by a manip.

Credits & Disclaimers

I do not own series characters and original script dialogue, they belong to their creators. Original characters, narrative ideas, and word manipulations used to create these stories are mine. I do not give consent for any of my stories to be copied, reposted, transposed, or used for AI without my permission. I do consent to reblogging and link sharing.

Story Header art by me

Divider art by @saradika

[crime-wives]

thank you so so much to @thecasualqueer for the tag :DD

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

i have 8 works on ao3 currently and many more in the works :)

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

15,579

3. what fandoms do you write for?

i write mostly for swan queen (emma swan/regina mills), meddison (meredith grey/addison montgomery), and supercorp (lena luthor/kara danvers), but i also have a bunch on rairpair fics in the works :)

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

nobody warns you before the fall - 219 kudos (i was so surprised at the amount of reception this fic got, i really didn't think anyone would read it lol)

nothing worsens, nothing grows - 156 kudos

so you were never a saint, and i loved in shades of wrong - 106 kudos

this house may be haunted (but not ours) - 68 kudos

probably running away (from the feeling i get) - 50 kudos

5. do you respond to comments?

yes, i always respond, although it usually takes me awhile. i love every single person who has ever commented on my fics :)

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

my fic do you think i have forgotten (about you) is probably my angstiest ending. for context, the fic is about addison montgomery and derek shepherd and the breakdown of their marriage so. (the fact that i wrote a het fic is shocking even to me)

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

this year, to save me from tears, i'll give it to someone special is probably the most optimistic ending for one of my fics.

8. do you get hate on fics?

i haven't so far, i assume i will at some point, but for now everyone has been really positive and encouraging towards me and my writing :)

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

at the moment i don't write smut, but eventually maybe.

10. do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written?

i haven't yet, but i did have an idea for a swan queen and supercorp crossover so maybe

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

no, i don't believe so.

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

no but i would be honored if anyone ever wanted to translate a fic.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

no i haven't, but my friend @emily-prentits and i have been working on an idea for a rairpair :D

14. what's your all time favourite ship?

probably swan queen. they never fail to get me in the feels, something about family, and belonging, and finding a place for yourself. also enemies, to reluctant co-parents, to friends, to lovers am i right? they make me so feral (i'm so normal i swear)

15. what's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

my only published wip is so you were never a saint, and i loved in shades of wrong but i sincerely doubt i will ever finish that (it was meant to be a oneshot but i added another chapter and i kinda hate it so)

but because i am actually insane, (i went through my docs and counted for this) i have a grand total of 57 wips, most of which will never be finished, or compounded into other fics.

16. what are your writing strengths?

i think i'm good at characterization, i like to spend a lot of time analysing the characters, and it's very important to me that the characters feel like themselves.

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

one of my weaknesses is description. i am definitely working on it tho. in addition, the amount of time it takes for me to write anything substantial.

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i'm not sure, i think maybe if it was extremely necessary, but otherwise i'm not sure.

19. first fandom you wrote for?

meddison - meredith grey/addison montgomery from grey's anatomy.

20. favorite fic you've written?

oh god wow i'm not sure. i think i'd have to say either do you think i have forgotten (about you) or probably running away (from the feelings i get) are probably my best fics.

no pressure tags :) @emily-prentits @flyingpotstickers @peridotglimmer @horsetailcurlers2 @hummingbirdswords @nostradamus0

[femslashfictournament]

Femslash fic tournament: Round 1.2

A Fine Line Ship: Emma Swan/Regina Mills Fandom: Once Upon a Time Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/719105/chapters/1332707 Summary: Upon Regina's banishment, the small town of Storybrooke becomes protected once again by an enchantment that prevents anyone from leaving or entering Storybrooke. Emma and Regina find themselves on the edge of the town, wishing for a way to the other side.

I hope this holds up because I haven't reread it in years, but it was one of the first femslash fics I ever read, and I remember just having to sit there and think for a minute after I was finished reading it about how emotionally affecting it was.

Everything In Its Right Place Ship: Monika/Natsuki/Sayori/Yuri Fandom: Doki Doki Literature Club Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/37064287 Summary: Monika has the perfect life. She's the president of a literature club where every girl is her girlfriend. Over the course of a year they've helped each other heal from their traumas and learned to love themselves for who they are. After a special weekend where the girls celebrated Natsuki's decision to move in with Yuri, it seemed like life was just getting better and better for everyone.

And it was. Until the day Monika woke up in a world where none of that was true. A world where everything revolves around a boy named only 'MC'. He's such a strange boy, with such mysterious eyes. Eyes that make you lose all sense of time... and place... and self.

(A story about queerness overcoming all odds)

Poly ship fic about what happens when some girls from a VN VR experience aimed at straight dudes fall in love with each other.

though i burn, how could i fall Ship: Shadowheart/Lae'zel Fandom: Baldur's Gate 3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/50733301 Summary: "No matter how desperate I get," Shadowheart says through gritted teeth, "I'm not that desperate."

But her body is betraying her. It's responding to Lae'zel's suggestion, rising like a well-stoked fire, and Lae'zel lowers herself to the ground near Shadowheart's feet. Shadowheart's legs shift to accommodate her in an instinct so bone-deep that she can't stop it before Lae'zel is filling the space.

"Give in to your desires, istik. Submit to me. In my experience," Lae'zel says, crawling slowly up Shadowheart's willing body, "the hatred will only make it sweeter."

And then Shadowheart is being kissed so thoroughly that she forgets her own name.

OR

Shadowheart doesn't know much about her past, or her future, or even who she is beyond what Shar asks of her. But she knows one thing. She hates Lae'zel. She hates her so much that the gith hardly leaves her mind, and there's nothing that could possibly change that.

A tale of misplaced hatred, building trust, and finding new purpose.

I had no idea how much character development could be conveyed through smut until I read this. It integrates the events of the game, and even some dialogue from the canon romance scenes, in a way that feels natural and believable. If you've played the game and can handle the kinks that are tagged, please give this fic a shot.

[angstbotfic]

Twenty questions for fic writers

tagged by @waknatious

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

180.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

774,164

3. What fandoms do you write for?

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

yes, every single one. even when it takes me months.

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

probably Second Chance?

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

i mean they kind of all have happy endings . . .

8. Do you get hate on fics?

i have in the past during the height of anti-SQ sentiment in the fandom. not recently.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i am the prophet of smut, so yes. 113 of my stories are explicit.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

The Gardener took Emma Swan and put her in 1949 LA with Rita Castillo.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

no, though i did swap one of my fics out to be CS to see what they'd say with Emma being domme and several people saw it and reached out to tell me it had been stolen and i had to let them know.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

no.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

yes, A Recipe for Love, Or: Lesbians and Lasagna with @rowark

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

i mean i am terrible saying i have a favorite of literally anything but i have definitely written the most Swan Queen

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

i haven't given up hope on rewriting every episode of Gilmore Girls in my Paris/Lorelai verse but it's on indefinite hiatus right now.

16. What are your writing strengths?

smut, i think?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

description. i just don't care about describing how anything looks.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

when it makes sense in context and the author knows the language well enough, by all means. but don't try to Google Translate!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Voyager in 2000.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

i can't do favorites!

tagging nobody. do it if you wanna.

[findroleplay]

Looking for writing partner: SwanQueen/OUAT

Hi, I have been writing for years and I mean YEARS. I am a femslash shipper/writer that is wanting to find a writing partner or two! :) I am in my 30's and would prefer a writing partner that is over the age of 18 comfortable with writing mature/adult content.

Literacy: Semi-literate, third person, just like you're reading a book with decent spelling, grammar and punctuation. No one is perfect. Be willing to contribute to the story and move it forward with ideas, story plots, dialogue, etc. I love lengthy writing but also don't mind short paragraph interactions. I want to be able to know what your character is thinking and feeling in our writing.

Fandom: Once Upon a Time

Pair: (fxf, mxf, mxm, ccxcc, ocxoc) F/F

Character(s): I write as Regina Mills and am seeking an Emma Swan. I will also write with anyone who writes as Maleficent. I want an Emma Swan writer for sure.

Ship(s): Swan Queen (Emma x Regina), Dragon Queen (Maleficent x Regina).

Triggers: I don't have many, if you've seen the show Once Upon a Time then you should have a good understanding of the characters and what they go through.

Plot ideas: I have plenty of plot ideas but love a good discussion with brainstorming. The more exciting, agnsty, the better.

Where: I would love discussion to be on Discord or through here but we can write in Google Docs or on a roleplayer website like RP.Me or RPLives

Other: I love to write and miss it. I do write fanfiction so if that is also your jam, cool! I'm pretty easy going and pretty active. Please, someone, come write with me some SwanQueen feels.

-

[venustrape-arch]

@maimedaffair  [  killian + emma  ]

        like  being  stuck  in  the  past  in  an  unfamiliar  place  isn’t  bad  enough.  it  took  her  less  than  an  hour  to  screw  something  up  &  basically  ensure  she’ll  never  be  born.  the  ripple  effect  of  her  parents  never  meeting  has  her  head  spinning,  so  it’s  a  good  thing  they  have  a  chance  at  getting  things  back  on  track.  even  if  it  involves  going  to  the  dark  one  for  help  &  playing  a  game  of  seduction  with  a  whole  other  version  of  hook.  it’s  a  weird  situation  she’s  found  herself  in.  but  so  far,  so  good.  still,  her  foot  taps  as  they  sit  &  catch  their  breaths,  fingers  adjusting  the  clasp  of  her  cape.  all  her  mother  has  to  do  is  steal  a  ring.  from  a  castle.  a  heavily  guarded  one.  color  her  antsy.  “  we  shouldn’t  have  gone  near  that  stupid  portal.  ”  she  sighs,  gaze  shifting  downwards.  “  i  mean...  you  shouldn’t  have.  i  probably  would’ve  done  it  anyway.  ”  &  she  looks  his  way,  apologetic  for  her  stubbornness  for  the  first  time  since  they  got  here.  “  sorry.  ”    

[writtenxbeginnings]

‘ i know i’m not the person you want, but i’m here. ’ -- to George, the morning after his first breakdown maybe??? or if you are not ready for that happening to them, just at any point in which he might need comforting!

Random Dialogue meme ----- Answering for @smiletimeisrunningout

George knew that it had to happen at some point. The episodes were more frequent than he liked to admit, but only certain people had been around to see them. He had done well at avoiding Lady Swan when he felt one starting to hit, making an excuse or begging off from tiredness. The one the previous night had hit unexpected though, his head starting to swim and words started to slip from his memory before he could get away. He had snapped at her when she asked what was wrong, all but fleeing to his gardens for a few hours. When he woke up the next day, the King wouldn't have been able to say. He was still getting past the haze that it always created while he sat in the study. It was only when he heard Emma that he really zoned back in for the first time, blinking up at her. "Excuse me?" The words were soft, slow as he shook his head, trying to be there. "I'm sorry, I was lost in thought."

[kazoosandfannypacks]

Open to Interpretation- CUT CONTENT!

As I write, I end up cutting out a lot of dialogue and scenes, throwing them in a special place I like to call "the cryochamber" to save them to use later. It's later, so here's some dialogue, scenes, and other tidbits that, while I dearly loved, ultimately didn't make the final cut in my fic, Open to Interpretation.

"It's been awhile since someone's called me a talentless hack to my face," he shrugged, "and I thought you might be less inclined to do so if you knew who I was." "You wanted to hear me ruthlessly pick apart your paintings?" "Don't act so surprised," he said, "besides, I said to myself 'Killian, if you can make a believer of this woman, you can make a believer out of anyone.'"

"Sorry?" she offered. "It's alright, Swan?" he addressed her, "I've read many a scathing review of my work in my day...."

"All I'm saying is," Lily said, "you've been running from one bad relationship right into another since you were seventeen." "This is different." "That's what you said about the last one." "The last one was a deadbeat," Emma said, "and I knew that going into it." "So I guess this one will be a surprise deadbeat."

After getting home past eleven, Emma took a quick shower, then messaged Killian to ask what the next day's agenda was- which led to a phone call to discuss the next two days' plans, and then a discussion of how Killian would make up for it when it all inevitably sucked, and then conversation about favorite movies and shows, and then life in general, and before long it was two a.m.

he turned to her for only a moment- a sincere, shot through the heart moment, before turning his gaze back on the road.

[A/N: this section was one I was absolutely devastated to cut out. As you'll see from reading this, my initial plan was for Emma to accept Killian's request to become boyfriend and girlfriend in Chapter 10. I then realized it was a little out of character, took away some of the conflict of the story, and made the title of the story less of a tell for the plot (granted, when I titled it, I had no intention of writing that much of the story ;)) so I had to cut out this beautiful chapter, consoling myself that I'd include it in this post. Also, though it's not mentioned in this excerpt, Killian has parked the car on the side of the road here.] "You don't know what you're getting yourself into," Emma shook her head, "I'm a mess." "Thank goodness," Killian smiled, "messy people are so much more freeing. If I wanted someone who thought they were perfect, I would've stayed at the benefit dinners at the museum. But I want someone who keeps me on my toes, someone I can be myself around- someone who inspires me." Her hand was resting on the console between them, and he took it in his. "I want you, Emma Swan," he said, "if only you'd have me." She smirked. "If that's what you want…." "You are." "Then I want you too," Emma said, then laughed a little as she addressed him, "boyfriend." He didn't try to hide the smile beaming across his face or the flush creeping across his cheeks. "You've no idea how happy that makes me," he said, "girlfriend." "I just might," Emma smiled. "Oh, really?" Killian raised an eyebrow and leaned a touch closer to her. Emma leaned closer as well and tacked on a, "yeah." Though he couldn't be completely sure, Killian was developing a theory that his new girlfriend knew exactly what she was doing to him when she used that tone and said those words and leaned so close to him he could practically taste her breath. He let go of her hand so he could tuck her hair behind her ear, pull her closer with a longing look in his eyes. "Permission to kiss the masterpiece?" he asked. "One of those days I'm gonna find that joke corny instead of endearing," Emma said, the smile between her blush brushed cheeks revealing that day would be a long ways off, "either way, permission granted." He reached up with his other hand as well, pulling her hair behind both her ears as he pulled her closer to him, and laid the next brushstroke on her lips. He half expected her to pull away, but instead felt her hands on his jacket, pulling him closer rather than pushing him away. His fingers danced through her hair as her hands found their way to his neck, pulling him as close as she could with their seatbelts still buckled. He almost considered prematurely untangling his fingers from her hair and letting go just a moment to unbuckle his seatbelt, but then remembered they had a graduation to get to, and his dad wasn't likely to take, "I was making out with a beautiful woman" as a valid excuse for showing up late. So, begrudgingly, he pulled his lips off hers, far enough to break off the kiss, but lingering close enough not to break off its intimacy. "To be continued?" he asked, his heavy breath in unison with hers. "Yeah," she nodded, "yeah." Killian sighed as he backed off, capturing her smile in his mind one more time before starting the car and getting back on the road. Even still, as the radio clicked back on and they continued their road trip, they didn't stop exchanging playful glances with each other.

She didn't respond, so he looked back over to her, noting how the hillsides behind them brought out her green eyes- not that he needed that boost to see them, to be drawn to them. Her smile seemed almost awestruck, and her eyes sparkled with hope, but also with a touch of fear he tried to dispel. Killian glanced back at the road just long enough to pull the car over and park on the side of the road, then found himself lost in her eyes again.

Emma wasn't ready for another relationship to end in burning flames like the last one, and she wouldn't be ready for a relationship with him until he proved that he wasn't some deadbeat or sleazebag like the last guys she'd dated.

The pink grew even more vibrant as he said that, then spun around to her side so his arm was wrapped around her shoulder, then he let her hand trickle down to her side instead. "You didn't ask me how you looked," Emma added as they walked towards the school. "Oh?" he asked, "my apologies. How do I look, Swan?" She smiled as she gave him a once-over with her eyes. "Stupid."

The dark form of nostalgia that lingered about this home and his dad were almost suffocating.

 "I don't mind that you don't respect me," Killian said, taking another step toward his dad, "I've gotten over the fact that no matter what I do, I'm always just the family disappointment, the black sheep for no reason other than that I remind you of what you've lost, like a stain on a shirt that you wish was never there, that try as you may to cover it up with your tie, it always haunts you."

 "I know that, Swan," Kilian said, taking his eyes off the road a moment to try to read her, reminding himself again of how gorgeous she was, "but why did you feel the need to get me out of it? I'm used to my dad." "You shouldn't have to be," Emma said, placing a hand on his shoulder, "You deserve to be treasured." He half laughed, but when he looked at Emma, she seemed genuine. "I'm nothing special." "You're the most special man I've ever met," Emma said, "and even the least special people I've ever met deserve to be loved. You aren't an exception to that." "Really?" he asked. "Of course," Emma said, "everyone deserves to be treated well." "No, no," Killian said, "what was that before that?" He looked at her, and they both smiled at each other. "You deserve to be treasured?" Emma asked, her voice revealing that she knew that wasn't what he was getting at. "After that," he said, "after I said I'm nothing special?" "That you're the most special man I've ever met?" Emma asked. Killian smiled, "those are some pretty big words- especially from the most special woman I've ever met." "I'm no one special either," Emma said, the confidence in her voice having clearly been shaken out of her. "No, no, no," Killian said, not about to let Emma deprecate herself like that, "if I'm not allowed to say I'm not special, neither are you."t

"Are you busy tonight?" Emma asked. If he had been busy, he'd've dropped any plans he had for whatever Emma was proposing. "I don't know," he said, sarcastically, "I've just heard I have a commitment at the museum tonight…." Emma rolled her playful eyes, "well, that's too bad. I was going to see if you wanted to do something tonight."

[wolgerrswraith]

twenty questions for fic writers

Tagged by @aintgonnatakethis

How many works do you have on AO3? 0 (Previously 15 or so, previously previously 22. I've deleted and orphaned a couple of accounts...)

What's your total AO3 word count? 0

What fandoms do you write for? Previously: Final Fantasy XV, Rise of The Guardians, Kingdom Hearts, Once Upon a Time. Currently: Nothing, really, except some ROTG-inspired ficlets, and one longer idea I've been messing with for the Puppet Master franchise.

Top five fics by kudos: *wind whistles through emptiness*

Do you respond to comments? Yes, but they only come up on Fanfiction. Honestly might transfer a couple stories to AO3.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Honestly forget the title, but one 2015-era KH fic had Sora die, become a Heartless, and end the universe. I don't know either.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? A FFXV fic where Noctis lived and got to be in a poly with Prompto and Luna (We do not ship shame in this house)

Do you get hate on fics? I literally got a death threat on a ROTG fic for content, and the fact Jack had shoes on.

Do you write smut? In 2015, yes. Abundantly. It was terrible, and all orphaned or deleted. Now, I've had intimated moments crop up, but I do the literary version of fading to black.

Craziest crossover: Noctis/Sora are siblings. I regret nothing.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Partially, but it was with permission.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Unfortunately, without permission.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Attempted, and it went to total hell.

All time favourite ship? Killian Jones/Emma Swan & Sora/Kairi. I will not choose between them, and you can't make me.

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? An extremely rebooted version of ROTG where Jack Frost becomes an ice fae that controls all versions of ice and snow, terrorizing most of the world. It got partially written in 2015 as total garbage, and only exists now as an injoke with a close friend of mine.

What are your writing strengths? I weirdly kept extremely on model with FFXV. People often praised how natural the banter was between the 'Bros, and how close to the game it felt. Dialogue often feels easy to write when I know the characters well.

What are your writing weaknesses? In my opinion, everything ever, but being honest, it's endings and keeping the pace.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language? If I don't speak it, I don't get to write in it.

First fandom you wrote in? Kingdom Hearts in, uhhh... 2006. In a spiral notebook. It was terrible.

Favourite fic you’ve written? Cheating slightly, but I did a long series of FFXV spin offs/prequels/things called The Brotherhood. One was an alternate reality where the events of FFXV took place in a samurai inspired past. That came out really good, and could honestly be a whole thing.

[donteattheappleshook]

Happy Birthday @The-DarkDragonfly!!

Happiest of birthdays @the-darkdragonfly ​ to one of my best friends! I’m so glad that the fandom brought us together and while your birthday fic isn’t finished, I thought it would share some of my favorite fics of YOURS! 

You are such a talented writer and such a wonderful person and if anyone hasn’t read these fics they are incorrect and need to fix it immediately)

This was very hard to narrow down because everything your write is perfect but I gave it my best shot! 

The Ripple Effect

Of course I had to start with the fic that brought us together. This story, omg this story. Every time I read it I’m filled with an irrational anger at how unbelievably beautiful your prose is and what an ubelievable talent you have for creating atmosphere and building relationships between characters. The way you write this fic is magical, there’s no other word for it. It weaves through time and perspectives, dialogue and imagery and emotion and my heart just shatters every time I read about these two adorable broken idiots fixing each other and falling in love. And omg your little snippets of everyday life are so imaginative and hilarious and are so perfectly in character and somehow both incredibly specific and relatable. I could read a hundred million fics of just filler scenes (which I know you also have -Missing Moments)I will forever think of this fic when I watch the CS movie and wish that we’d gotten this instead. 

Tempest

I hadn’t started this one when you were writing the first version but when you started on the rewrite omg I have jumped onboard and along for the ride the entire way with this adorable wonderful fic. I will say it now, I don’t usually like Captain Duckling but this story is so wonderfully written that you’ve managed to make me obsessed with your version of them. The dynamic between them is just beautiful and so honest and pure and they’re both just so. stupid. and I love them and will protect them with my whole heart. I adore the way that you don’t always give us all the moments of their relationship at once and just let us see it develop and then jump back and forth through time to give us scenes we’re already invested in and dying for. I love this fic and I’m fully aware that you’re gonna hurt me with it but I’m 100% here for it. And also - WILLIAM!!! My beautiful, sad, sassy, loveable William. I will never get enough of him and how you write him in this fic. He is the ultimate bestie and comic relief watching his mom and dad try to get their shit together and fall in love and I would die for him. 

The Wreck of our Hearts

My birthday fic!!! This one is gonna be short because I get emotional just thinking about this story. You took my favorite Hook, Deckhand Hook, and mixed him with my other favorite, Silver Hook, and you’ve created a monster that no other Killian will ever live up to. Just an ultra sad broken man who still loves Emma so damn much and can I keep typing through my tears? I don’t know but I do know I’m gonna go reread through them. 

People, please, if you haven’t, go read it. If you have, go read it again. 

PS: If you ever wanted to revisit this universe or this character I’m not saying I’d be mad... 

Old Times' Sake - A Captain Swan Tale 

I don’t care if it’s July. This Christmas fic can be read any damn time of the year and it will destroy me and put me back together again every time. You’ve done it again! Taken my sad broken little babies and put them together and made them whole. This story is SO short (seriously I had to go back and check the word count because I couldn’t believe it) but it somehow has such a rich backstory woven in for both Emma and Killian, both their families and their relationship and oh man you know I’m a sucker for “what do you mean, feelings? this is just boning (LIES)” and you did it so perfectly here. This wasn’t my Christmas present but I’ve decided to claim it as such because it’s my favorite Christmas fic of all time (again, a genre I don’t like that you’ve somehow managed to make me adore - very rude. stop doing that. but also don’t. ever.) 

Sill Love Songs

You KNOW I had to end with this one right? My very own birthday fic and omg I will forever be grateful to have you in my life for writing me this fic (and many other reasons but the point stands). This story is Hilarious. Like I was giggling and laughing out loud throughout because, you guessed it, William Fucking Scarlet. All I asked for was CS's love story told in the POV of his inappropriate wedding toast and GIRL. You delivered. He’s so absolutely perfect in this story. His interactions with Killian make me die (when he propositions him in the kitchen I thought I would straight up perish) and his interactions with Emma are equally hilarious but also so so soft and beautiful underneath it all. I did not expect to be hit in the chest with a mactruck of emotion in what I expected to be an aptly named silly little fic but of course I should have because everything you write carries so many layers of human emotion and you’re characters are so REAL and beautiful and flawed in such a true to life way. I don’t know where or how you developped such an amazing talent or if you were just born with it but I will selfishly devour and demand more of everything that you write with it.

I’m also just saying that the sequel doesn’t HAVE to be a birthday fic... I have a 2/3rds birthday coming up in August..... 

Happy birthday bestie!

Thank you so much for everything that you write and for being such an amazing person in my life. I hope you have a wonderful birthday long weekend and a fantastic year! 

And please add your tag list so they can all get a reminder of these amazing fics!

[angstbotfic]

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by @janewayseven, who made me realize i have actually never written any J/7. i've certainly read a whole lot. i will try to rectify that soon.

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 180

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 774,164

3. What fandoms do you write for? Once Upon a Time and Gilmore Girls primarily.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

True Love’s Near-Miss (Kudos: 2,691): Henry slips Emma a potion to bring her together with her true love, thinking it’s Neal. It’s not.

The Truth Always Comes Out (Kudos: 2,626): In which Emma and Regina pretend to be dating because it gets Henry back into Regina’s life even without his memories and then find they kind of mean it.

The Senator (Kudos: 1,828): United States Senator Regina Mills meets barista Emma Swan, but DC is no place to be in the closet.

Working Late (Kudos: 1,583): Regina is in her office having a few drinks by herself and sexually frustrated since she hasn't had a good lay since the EF; Emma is patrolling and sees the light on in Regina's office and decides to go investigate.

The Notebook (Kudos: 1,419): Regina finds a notebook in Granny’s that makes her look at Emma differently.

5. Do you respond to comments? i have historically tried to respond to every single one. but i have gotten behind on that and now feel a bit overwhelmed thinking about catching up.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? i actually don't do angst endings much. but it's Sacrifice.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? i mean they all have happy endings. so it kind of depends whether you think marriage or babies or afterglow or whatever is the happiest.

8. Do you get hate on fics? not recently, but in the heyday of OUAT fandom fuckery, absolutely.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? kinda everything. it used to be kinkier than it is now. i have mellowed in my old age, or something.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? i keep wanting to write a OUAT/GG crossover where Regina is in the Luke role as crotchety cafe owner. and hooks up with Lorelai, obvs.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? no, but i did re-post my own story under another account in another ship just to see what would happen and a few people thought it was stolen.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?  i don't think so.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? yep, with @rowark: A Recipe for Love, Or: Lesbians and Lasagna 

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? i guess J/7 has lasted the longest in my interest even though i haven't written it.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? i dunno i can't not finish things. and therefore i can't start things i don't have a plan to finish.

16. What are your writing strengths? smut? i dunno.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? description. i just cannot be bothered.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? seems fine if it's done well.

19. First fandom you wrote for? i mean Chronicles of Narnia in about 1989? but Orange is the New Black in terms of things i published online.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? this is like asking somebody to pick their favorite child! but probably The Ak’tephari Prophecy. i do love a good sword and sorcery.

Tagging: nobody, do it if you wanna!

[fiadorable]

20 questions for fic writers

Thanks for the tag, @curator-on-ao3 🫶

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 46 works, but if you parse the three drabble collections and a ficlet collection it jumps up to 96.

2. What's your total Ao3 word count? 142,888

3. What fandoms do you write for? Star Trek Strange New Worlds, The Librarians, Once Upon a Tme, Star Trek Voyager, The X-Files (none on ao3), Harry Potter, and King & Maxwell

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? Where Flowers Bloom: The F*ck You Bouquet Once Upon a Time, SwanQueen, Rated T, 2.8k words Prom season is keeping Regina Mills, proprietor of Fairytale Flowers, busy, but when Emma Swan storms into her store one day with a unique request and a hidden connection, her day shifts from busy to odd to (dare she say it) hopeful.

revelation in the light of gray Star Trek Strange New Worlds, PikeUna, Rated G, 2.8k words Ensign Uhura stumbles into sickbay late one night and discovers something new about Captain Pike and Number One.

love is a ghost you can't control Star Trek Strange New Worlds, PikeUna, Rated T, 4.3k words One or two times Christopher Pike, uh, asked Una Chin-Riley about romance while they were both serving on the Antares. (This fic was inspired by and based on a scenario referenced in @curator-on-ao3's fic The Haze!)

Of Paperwork, Knots, and Warm Glowy Things, or, Roland Registers for Kindergarten Once Upon a Time, OutlawQueen, Rated G, 10.5k words Sometimes, Henry lets him sit on his bed with his old textbooks splayed open on his lap, the large tomes covering his legs as he runs his hands across the shiny paper, drinking in the bright pictures breaking up the dark columns of text. The older boy warned him he might not have hardbacked books like that until first grade, but Roland doesn't care. He's going to carry his own backpack and learn how to write and memorize all the names of all the bugs in this realm.

Trekalicious Drabbles Star Trek Strange New Worlds, PikeUna + La'an & Chapel + La'an & Una + Sir Adya/Z'ymria, Rated T, 2.1k words A collection of 100 word drabbles for the #Wednesday100 challenge

5. Do you respond to comments? I'm trying to! I'm very bad about doing it in a timely manner 🙈

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Oh, definitely the scorch. That piece is pure, distilled angst.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Of Paperwork, Knots, and Warm Glowy Things is pretty saccharine

8. Do you get hate on fics? Yeah, I attracted a few trolls with So Are We Alright Then?. Luckily they were no match for the almighty "delete comment" function. Most people are nice.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Eh? Kind of? Most of my stuff stays M or below.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? I've done one: an ending unforseen, which is a crossover between Strange New Worlds and Voyager. I threw Christopher Pike into the Delta Quadrant on Voyager so he could have a chat with Kathryn Janeway.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yep!

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? I can't pick a favorite, but I will say that Mulder/Scully, fanon Janeway/Chakotay, OutlawQueen, and Pike/Una have all been formative ships that I've enjoyed watching/reading/writing for over the years.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? First Day (Once Upon a Time OQ). 1 chapter published as a one shot that was received so well I turned it into a novel-length fic that was never published (19 chapters, 8 alternate universes visited, 40k words written with barely the surface scratched). I love it. It's my white whale. I open it up and marvel at the audacity and ambition of my younger self every now and then.

16. What are your writing strengths? Characterization, dialogue. Sometimes I concentrate hard and pull off some nifty minimalist prose.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Details and self doubt.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I'm not bilingual, so if I did, I would 100% run it by a native speaker if someone was available to spot check.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Either Voyager or X-Files, I can't remember which

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? I love writing the drabbles, they're little puzzleboxes of happy.

tagging: @enterprise-come-in and @meddow with apologies if y'all've been there done that

[smiletimeisrunningout]

ROLEPLAY HISTORY!

The rules are simple! Post characters you’d like to roleplay as, have roleplayed as, and might bring back. Then tag ten people to do the same (if you can’t think of ten, just write down however many you can and tag that number of people). Please repost, don’t reblog!

CURRENT MUSE(S):

here on smiletimeisrunningout but also previous blogs:

Emma since before 2012. Though she kinda counts like more than one muse considering she has several main universes and then adaptations to other shows lol

on my multi savingthrcw but they are all either severely canon divergent or even alternate universe versions or ocs, with only a few exceptions:

Sarah Walker (Chuck) (closest to canon)

Jenny II (Doctor Who)

Stella (oc)

Terra from (ff6)

AU Jemma Simmons (Agents of SHIELD)

Kate Austen (Lost)

Ana Lucia Cortez (Lost)

the Book and Tvshow versions of Alina Starkov (Grishaverse) (may sorta be put on hiatus soon because I didn't write them as soon as I added them and I feel I'm forgetting how I meant to write them lol)

Ellie Bartowski (Chuck) (like Sarah she's close to canon but has canon divergent verses)

Alex McHugh (Chuck) (like Ellie)

Solona Amell (DAO) modded player's character

Neria Surana (DAO), player's character

Lily Tabris (DAO) same as Neria

Ellana Lavellan (DAI) player's character

Lex (BG3) player's character

Tauriel (The Hobbit)

Rose Tyler (Doctor Who) Bad Wolfed version

Emma Swan but nearly closed (OUAT)

Clarke Griffin (The 100)

WANT TO WRITE:

(But will not write for sure because I don't have a grasp of 'historical' English language and I could never write the correct dialogue for them, and I'm not going to butcher canon characters making them speak in an unjustified modern way)

Penelope Featherington (Bridgerton)

Young Queen Charlotte (from Bridgerton universe)

Mary Woodhull (Turn WS)

Yennefer (The Witcher)

(But I will not write because I don't think I can channel them properly)

Inej Ghafa (Shadow and Bone tvshow)

Parker (Leverage)

Claire Littleton (Lost)

Daisy Johnson (AoS)

(And I might write)

ocs I'm picturing in my head

HAVE WRITTEN:

Bucky Barnes (MCU) around 2012 when characterization didn't really matter and we were tremendously ooc but having fun

Ruby and Belle from OUAT, same as Bucky

Maria Hill/Robin Scherbatski as mentioned above

oc inspired by Lara Croft

other versions of canon Emma Swan (OUAT)

Snow White and her mother Eva (OUAT)

Elizabeth Swann (POTC)

canon Jemma Simmons and more canon divergent versions with their own (surprisingly long lived) blogs

Britta Perry (Community)

Lily Evans (HP)

more that I have forgotten

WOULD WRITE AGAIN:

my oc Ada

tagged by: @honorhearted and @pagetreader tagging: @retrograderesemblance @writtenxbeginnings @annastrxng @hqlfbloods @trcstme @serpcntes @gccdstories @forthewinn and anyone who wants to jump in!