#(<----- past experience... x.x)

[dailynakaharachuuya]

3,000 followers art raffle!

Thank you so much for 3000 followers!! As I said previously, I am hosting a raffle!

How to enter:

🎩 Like this post! 🎩 Reblog this post! 🎩 Follow this blog!

Art raffle ends 13th October 2024!

Raffle prize for the winner is a fully-illustrated and rendered piece of our dear Chuuya!! Any pose, any outfit, and any background; it is to your choosing!

Enjoy!

(Winner will be chosen via a random pick spinning wheel!)

[hollemi]

Some sprite art of AUBREY as imagined by the lovely @sweggyq!

A teensy tiny project for the past couple of months, I managed to put together something I feel like sharing :) (for real though, this stuff is absolute OCD hell x.x)

I had barely any experience making stuff like this when I started, but I kept going despite my deteriorating mental health with every redraw. It's obviously still nowhere near perfect, but for the sake of my well-being I present these two animations :D

[ghostsandmirrors]

Questions for the mun - all Basics please? Don't hate me lol

Questions for the mun.

pfft, I could never. I am going to miss one question because someone else sent it, too.

(under read more because that's 12 questions)

When did you first start writing? 2008. I was on Mibba (writing site) and someone's journal post was an advert for a Proboards Potter forum.

In what language did you start writing? English. It was only like 2019 that I started trying to learn another language och jag är så dålig på talar svenska x.x (and I'm so bad at talking Swedish)

If your mother tongue is not the language you write now, what caused you to switch languages? N/A - one day I'll get good enough at Swedish to RP in it but that ain't today.

What was the first muse that you’ve written? Her name was Judy Lewis on that Proboards site in 2008. I also wrote her twin brother (Jesse Lewis). She was a Slytherin half-blood, he was a Hufflepuff half-blood.

I once answered an ask about her on the Bringer's blog so here's the link.

Do you still write your first muse? Nope. I consider remaking her sometimes--especially when memes ask about first muses--but I think she belongs in 2008 and in the fanfic I was writing at the time.

What is the muse that you write for the longest? This is answered here. The answer is Bam (first made 2009 on a Potter site I made); 2009 Gerard Way had that vibe and then they dyed their hair red and Danger Days came out and I was like 👀👀👀

Also because of Bam, and me being so specific when it came to making graphics (avatars and signatures), I can tell you which year a Gerard Way picture came from between the years of 2003 and 2013 based entirely on their hair.

I used to think I was neurotypical btw. Teenage me making a Notepad document of Gerard Way GIFs organised by hair style and year ('long black, 2005') like, 'yeah, this is a normal level of interest in a subject.' It is not, but it is a fun fact I get to whip out now.

In what style did you start to write (First person, third person, *-style or novel-style?) I have always written in third person, past tense, I guess novel-style? Used to do a lot of one-liners but--and I actually mentioned this to someone the other day--I ended up on a lot of sites with minimum word counts (usually only like 100 words, which sounds like a lot but is surprisingly small).

My longest post pre-Tumblr was like 2k words because me and a thread partner were just seeing how long we could make our posts in that specific thread. We also tried to go back to one-liners only for a thread (for fun) and we were struggling.

What caused you to start writing? What was your key point? General writing was probably this one book series about a man who lived with a family that made clay dragon statues and the dragon statues came to life. I looked it up; The Last Dragon Chronicles. I did not read all of them.

RP specifically was the site advert coming when I had like just started writing a Potter fanfic of Goblet of Fire from the point of view of Random OC (Judy Lewis, who was a Gryffindor in the fic).

Do you regret starting writing? No. It taught me how to spell, for starters. I was dogshit at spelling and grammar back in the day and I've gotten so much better just through practice and actually learning what things are used for. Also like... you get the best reactions. Even if I ever managed to quit RP--which I don't think I will--I would never be able to fully stop writing because of those reactions. One way or another, I will inflict fictional suffering on people.

As a kid, I wanted to be an author. Making characters and worlds is way too fun.

Is there anything you would have changed when you started writing now that you have more experience? RP specific; no. Writing in general; I'd have started writing proper English from the beginning and not spent years deciding that full stops are only used for the end of a paragraph, actually.

Also some of the older characters don't have their apps saved at all and I'm still mad about it. I struggled making Arnulf because his old app and all his old information is gone. I'm gonna die mad at past me about like 17 different things and it's fine because they deserve it.

How do you describe writing / rp to others? Generally I don't, but if I had to, I would describe it as 'y'know writing a story? It's like that but you only control one character.' It's not accurate--NPCs exist--but like it's the closest I can get considering I'm genuinely trash at describing anything lmao

On what platform did you start to write? Accidentally answered this in the first answer. Oops. Proboards. I actually refused to go to other forum sites for the longest time because I didn't understand the coding for posts. On Proboards it was like [b]bold[/b], on InvisionFree it was <b>bold</b>, I think Jcink was [b]bold[/b]?

I did eventually also go on InvisionFree (one site, a Buffy/The Vampire Diaries crossover site) and Jcink (multiple sites, mostly Marvel/DC crossover sites, a couple of panfandom sites, a town site?, and at least one Potter site). Jcink might be my favourite of the three.

There was also 'Boards' which was to Proboards what Jcink was to InvisionFree (Jcink sites have 'powered by InvisionFree' at the bottom, Boards sites had 'powered by Proboards').

[ihopesocomic]

That low-empathy anon made me see red a little because like. As an autistic person with low empathy towards people, like really low at times, I'm gonna hope they aren't thinking this about like, other autistic people with such a thing, or adhd folks who have low empathy (Heck, my sister does too). Not to go on a tangent but Storm having low empathy made me so happy, because sometimes I never notice other people's feelings. I'm also a lot of an ass ngl, I have a really hard time being considering of people's feelings, or even feeling what I think I'm supposed to feel in situations. If you told me why am I not crying at a family member's death when other people are I'd be bothered af because wow thanks, but that doesn't make me a .... psychopath. Wow, and you're talking about being ableist, anon. There are actual psychopathic people that exist I am SO TIRED of people throwing that around and I don't even have psychopathy =3=)

Nobody deserves less kindness just because they don't process/notice others emotions the way 'normal' empathetic people do. Nor are those that question said low empathy obligated to be close to us. All we ask is to like, understand it and be patient. The complete lack of empathy towards us that struggle with it don't help one bit. Ironic even.

It makes Hope's patience and willing to banter with Storm's lack of said empathy when we saw it nice to see because I'd give for someone like that. It's upsetting yeah, but nobody with low-empathy is gonna like, secretly hurt you or something or think less of you deep down for thinking differently than us. Storm was really upfront about how she didn't get why Hope would want to live in a situation like that, and Hope gave back her piece on the matter. Hope was willing to talk to Storm about the whole pride thing. Even if it made things a little complicated and awkward given their upbringings (and Storms past experience with them as seen in the recent PMV especially, man I'd love to see that talked about eventually), Hope was willing to discuss it nonetheless. And didn't think any less of Storm afterwards.

I'd even say I have higher empathy for fictional characters than people, because I've connected with them better than actual people, and they don't question my empathy problems and blah blah, I'm rambling rn, but funny how the brain work.

@ That anon, please understand that Low empathy havers don't want to hurt you just because we don't get certain things, and we will not call you ableist if we did hurt you, that has nothing to do with our struggle with empathy, you definitely didn't make yourself look better asking that, and nobody will take being called a psychopath lightly regardless of their empathy level. So I can't say as a low-empathy haver that you are on our good graces with that ask. But please, do your research, ask folks with low empathy what it's like so that you can get different viewpoints, it's a lot more complicated than you made it sound anon, and preferably next time, do not villianize us and deem us as secretly evil or something like that after you do so. x.x

All of this. Thank you, anon, and I'm very sorry that you and others here had to be exposed to that last anon's bulllshit. Normally, we might have deleted an ask like that but sometimes this kind of stuff needs to be called out.

Oh, and if the last anon is reading this: I'm just gonna come out and say you were being ableist. Don't really care if you're disabled or not. How dare you come onto this blog and insult an entire group of real people over fictional lions. The hell is wrong with you? We're not changing our comic to be as vindictive and mean-spirited as My Pride was: deal with it. It's also real funny how the initial criticism of the comic was that it's "too much like My Pride" and now we have to read garbage about how we need more ableism "because well that's why My Pride was entertaining for me" because the comic is heading in its own direction now. Because that's 100% what this is all about. As I've said before: I'm done being nice to people who simply view our comic as the best of a bad situation because it's highly unlikely My Pride will continue. If you like My Pride for its rampant ableism and trivialising oppression for plot beats: re-watch it to your heart's content. Because we refuse to accommodate this kind of mindset and have our comic fill that weird void for you.

If anybody here thinks this kind of talk is remotely OK because "Storm and Hope's relationship doesn't have enough drama for me because they don't trade enough insults over their respective disabilities": piss off. Our comic isn't for you. - RJ

[chiconisroc]

Have you seen this review of your fic? (Sending in another ask cause I don't want people to think I'm trying to stir up trouble)

I appreciate that everyone has their own unique perspective. It's interesting to see my fanfiction being rated, as fanart doesn't typically receive ratings, which seems a bit unusual to me. Personally, I find it difficult to imagine giving an artist a rating for their artwork. I can’t even do so on a fanfiction either. Usually, I don’t care for a story, or I just love it, hahaha, but I never proceed with giving them a number. I'm not sure if fanart is typically rated by others; perhaps I'm out of the loop with such things?

Since the story hasn't reached its halfway point yet, there are many aspects that haven't been explored or will be addressed later. For instance, the puzzle… hehehe. The review was made before they read past chapter 20, so they didn’t get to see how Camila reached for the puzzle that was stored under her bed to bring along with them, so I didn’t forget about it ;3. So, it's intriguing to have a rating based on what has been presented thus far.

I would also like to emphasize the physical and mental challenges that Philip is going through in the story, from the beginning until now. He has faced near-death experiences with the Collector and has had Gus unearth memories that he had locked away for centuries. As a result, he hasn't had much time to gather himself and is struggling with his emotions/traumas that he shoves to the side a lot.

In my writing, I strive to create characters that feel realistic rather than conforming to the resilience typically seen in cartoons. Philip, being a 400-year-old man, carries a lot of baggage that is finally catching up to him mentally.

It's worth mentioning as a reminder that this is a fanfiction and not a fully edited and polished novel. Expecting perfection and have everything answered right away would be unrealistic, especially since I am constantly updating with new chapters more frequently than others :o. So, if there are some flaws in my story, which most likely there are, well, it is to be expected since I’m not an actual published author, and thus I’m practicing and learning to get better at writing so one day I can become an actual author one day : ). **This reminds me of the more recent question that if I were ever to rewrite the story. If i were to rewrite it, then yeah, for sure peeps would have a more published work which would be way better than it is right now, hahaha

That being said, I do appreciate the positive aspects the reviewer pointed out, which I find encouraging. To the person who wrote the review, if you would like, I can provide further explanation and defend the decisions made for the story through direct messaging. Rest assured, everything I write has a purpose behind it : ). And if you are enjoying the story now, then great! It's nice to have you along the ride with us : ). It's just always fun enjoying things together, hahaha

I won’t say more about the reviewer’s opinion since I’m currently working on the next chapter for the other story x.x, so… I got to write and write : ), hahaha

[ayahachitwister]

Ive been wanting to use A03 for a while to post my writing for a while but I’ve been struggling to use it. I’m pretty new to it & I get frustrated when using it since I don’t really have experience using it yet. So if it’s alright, how do you use it?

To be honest, I’m not fully sure how to answer this… I just go to the ‘Post’ button at the top of the page, then ‘New Work’, and then just follow the prompts.

If you start typing in the fandoms, characters, relationships, and additional tags thing, it’ll come up with suggestions for you based on what you type. Half the time, I don’t even know what tags to put in, so I just look at my past stories for help.

If you have a more specific question about it, or about what categories you don’t get, I can try to help there? But I’d feel awkward making a guide on all the prompts it gives ‘cause I feel like I’d just be rewording what a lot of sections state… They all have a question mark by them, too, which have a lot better info on what each section’s for than I can give. x.x’

[not-poignant]

Hi! I’m currently having a hard time, with chronic pain flare ups, and am re-reading Eversion, one of my favorite works of yours. It helps. (I originally ended up playing the game thanks to it). I’m at Chapter 17: High Ball, and wondered how you go about writing and researching such an intense drug trip? It’s so good. Anyway you for writing such fantastic works.

Hi anon,

I'm so sorry to hear about the chronic pain flare ups! They're such a bitch. The rheumatoid arthritis in my hands lately has been Cruel (TM) and it's definitely something you need comfort things for! I hope your flare eases sooner rather than later though <333

As for the High Ball chapter, I have a very unsatisfactory answer for you which is: 'I made it up.'

As in: 'I used my imagination because I'm a writer and wrote it based off what I imagine a really bad trip to be like. Especially because it was a synthetic drug so I didn't need to base it on anything real.'

The only thing I had to research were the names of the drugs used to make the drug itself, but I wasn't out there researching bad trip experiences / bad drug experiences. I know a little from research in the past on the use of LSD to treat PTSD (and some of the negative side effects of this), but yeah.

My job as a writer is to imagine things, and this is one of those areas where it's going to make everyone groan but I didn't do anything to 'go about writing/researching an intense drug trip' beyond sitting down and imagining Connor going through an intense drug trip and writing that.

That's my job x.x I don't research about 90% of the things that I write, that's what my imagination is fooooor. I do read a lot of non-fiction, which I think is good practice (it's good to have a scientific understanding of the body if you're going to be writing bodies and it's good to have a general understanding of mental health stuff if you're going to be writing mental health stuff - but the good news is a lot of naturally curious people learn things about this anyway).

Er so yeah, anon, I just... I just literally sat down and wrote it in one take. And that's how that scene happened.

[gcldfanged]

whyfor have I followed thee~?: I admit, as a fellow 30+ queer transmasc human, seeing such in a fellow writer AND their muse somehow acts immediately as a draw. There is a fellow vulnerability that frequently lends to the greatest and most heartbreaking and mending creativity I've ever been priviledged to be involved in. Jae-hyo's history itself was also a draw. From his traumatic entrapment beneath his abusers, to his freedom clawed and kept primally against his scars with enough pressure to make the soul bleed-- he as a character that enthralled me from the very first. I admittedly also jumped for joy at finding another person unafraid to explore the darker aspects of fiction. For me, there is catharsis in writing the blacker shades of angst and being in control of the outcome- in putting my own creations through hell- one of my own ocs has history of being enslaved, and... you were just an amazing blog to behold.

Whyfore doth mine steps continue to dog thine shadow~?: one of the first things to catch my attention in original characters tends to be depth. do they breathe? are the variety of actions sensible to THEM as a person and not just an empty reaction to what is going on? do they MATCH the event? and sure, some of that comes from the variety of prose folx can use and one's writing style. but i regularly read your rp posts and literally visualise whatever is unfolding out. I'm regularly engaged with Jae-hyo's internal exposition, invested in the glances and glints of his past through such. Sometimes when it's a full look and the name and pronouns change, I mentally go 'it's okay darlin', it's not forever!!' XDDDD

You allow me to be educated as well. Which I am infinitely grateful for. Your ooc is also a delight (even when life shits on your flapjacks x.x), and your humour has more than once made me laugh aloud. I wanna write with you so bad, and I hope life begins to treat you better soon~.

Hey friend, I'm making food/thinking over my reply, but I really want to give you a heartfelt thank you- It really means a lot to me that you feel something from my work and enjoy the kinds of themes I explore with Jae… I often worry that people will look at the darker content and think I'm a try-hard or that Jae is a Misery Stu made to entertain an author boner for the 'over the top' and 'melodramatic', as if these very events don't happen in REAL LIFE and affect 'regular' people too ('regular' people, like ME, for example).

It really seems like critical thinking is dead these days. I remember reading a very excellent gay romance/fantasy novel that happened to examine slavery and sexual slavery in it's society and the overwhelming amount of negative reviews it had on GoodReads was shocking- All because it dared to even have slavery as a topic in the book, without examining the context in which it affects and is seen by the characters themselves. Literally, all the reviews were the same, basically saying "this book is garbage because it has slavery in it, ew" kind of vapid and mindless refusal to engage. Which, granted, they have the right to not engage, but oh my god???

It just honestly makes me mad- Am I supposed to be impressed other people choose to be ignorant and have a superiority complex about only enjoying characters they see as morally good or if they're not morally good, have the capacity for redemption? Or they're only good simply because they are 'relatable', like people need to step outside the narrow scope of their own experiences, I am begging-

Similarly, I have been stalking your blogs and I know things have been pretty rough on the both of us outside of roleplaying, so I'm always more than happy and willing to chat whenever we have the free time and spoons. Your portrayals and characterizations have been feeding me well despite absences and hiatuses between the both of us.

Thanks again for the kind words and time taken to express them, it's definitely helping me be less anxious about the idea of publishing my original works...

[phagechildon]

Soo that darker themed Sasamiya/Kagihira Halloween idea? It’s a thriller slasher type, so naturally, warnings for violence, blood, and such. It’s rated M for mature. A classic horror movie type deal XD It’s not written out like a story, just my ideas, most of them more detailed - the outline of it basically XD Past tense and present tenses are all mixed in whoops. I’d write it but it’d be super long and I need to focus on my Sasamiya fic Haze x.x 

They go to a pumpkin patch for Halloween. There’s a corn maze for children and it’s packed, so they go to the hedge maze which is an oddly long walk from everything else. The hedges are pretty tall, even Sasaki and Kagiura can’t see over the edge when they jump (or with Hirano sitting on his shoulders). 

Screams are heard throughout the maze, making them uneasy. They chalk it up to just being Halloween gags, but then a hedge comes up between them, pairing Miyano and Kagiura together and Sasaki with Hirano. The sound of chainsaws go off right after, nearing them.  Sasaki tries to jump the hedge, but gets badly cut by barbed wire that’s inside the fake bush. Taking a closer look, they see not only barbed wire, but also glass, knives, razor blades, etc, making it impossible to climb or even try to fit through. All the hedges have this. 

With terror for themselves and each other, the chainsaws grow even closer, making them realize if they used real blades that cut Sasaki’s hand and knee up pretty badly, those were probably real chainsaws with crazy people controlling them. 

In sync, the chainsaw men turn the corners and into the group’s view at the same time, hardly giving them any time to reach as they make a mad dash for them. Miya and Hirano try to tell the the “actors” that they want to leave and that this isn’t funny, but they don’t listen. 

Kagi grab’s Miya’s wrist and pulls him out of the way, seeing the man plunge the chainsaw right into the hedge where he’d just been standing. If he hadn’t moved Miya, Miya would’ve been impaled They all run, Kagi pulling Miya along while Sasaki and Hirano had a similar experience. 

All of them hope and pray everyone’s safe, and that their friends keep their boyfriend’s safe. When the guy pursuing Kagi and Miya catches up, they notice he no longer has the chainsaw, but a sword instead. The chainsaw must’ve gotten stuck and broke because of the hedge and all the metal/sharp things in there, which is good for them but now they have to figure out how to disarm him. However Miya’s only good at running short distances, so he’s starting to falter. Kagi’s super athletic so he’s kinda frustrated that Miya’s holding him back from finding Hirano, but would never leave him (he’d never leave anyone behind, especially a friend). Instead he makes Miya hop on his back once they gain enough distance, giving him a piggyback ride until he feels like he can run for a bit again (much to Miya’s absolute frustration). 

Hirano and Sasaki are fairing a little better, but Sasaki’s the one that is starting to lag behind as Hirano is more athletic. Their guy still has his chainsaw, and both agree they have to figure out how to disarm/disable it because Sasaki won’t last much longer. A risky plan that may result in one getting hurt (not too bad cause they still have a longggg night), they manage to disarm the guy and even pin him (Hirano doing most of the pinning and questioning. Imagine him sitting on him, grasping his shirt, fist ready to punch him in the face again(?) )). They hear voices and sounds so Sasaki cautiously takes a peak around the corner, only for the maze to shift (which they learned the maze is always shifting) and blocks them off from each other. Hirano tries to pry info from the guy, but all he’s doing is laughing over and over again, pissing him off. He punches him a few times, but he’s still laughing. Searching he finds rope, unnerving him, but uses it to tie him up. There’s a lot of rope, duck tape, zip ties, etc, along with what looks like drugs of some sort in pre prepped needles. He throws a rope and knife over to Sasaki to use if need be, and they both are forced to go their separate ways

Hirano runs into Kagi and Miya, glad to see they’re okay (though Miya looks exhausted, cheeks completely flushed red and panting hard), and manages to reassure him that Sasaki has a weapon to protect himself with now, all they have to do is find him. 

Along the way, Miya spots a hole in one of the hedges, and upon closer inspection, sees a car. Hopeful, and wanting to do something useful (feeling useless), he very very cautiously goes in, having the other knife Hirano stole from the guy. A little ways in, Miya hears insane laughter and Kagihira freaks out, meaning there’s another psycho there. They don’t say anything to him, probably not wanting to give it away that Miya’s in the hole, so Miya keeps going, trying to figure out what to do when he did make it out to get help for everyone. When he finally peaks out, he sees a few cars, only for his hair to be violently grabbed and pulled by it. Miya shouts, one hand instinctively moving up to hold the attacker’s wrist while the other swings the knife around. Someone kicks him in the head after he feels the knife hitting something that felt like someone’s leg (and he’s horrified before disoriented). He tries to recover quickly, managing to get up and turn only for his hair to be grabbed again, something poking his neck. Fire rages inside his body as he’s injected with something, and with adrenaline he swings the knife again, this time it getting stuck. As he’s passing out, he sees it in someone’s leg, not too deeply and starts losing consciousness.  

On the other side of the hedge, back with Kagihira, there’s two people going at them. They manage to knock one out, and they think they got the second only for them to trick them and lunge up at Hirano with a shard of glass. Kagi pushes Hirano out of the way, getting stabbed in the side, and in a blind rage Hirano attacks the other guy, almost hurting him too badly when Kagi stops him. His faltering voice makes Hirano panic and go back to his side, his mom mode coming out as he quickly takes off his jacket and manages to use it to wrap around the wound. 

“Why the hell would you jump infront of the glass you idiot!!”

“Because… I didn’t want to see you get hurt,” Kagi smiled warmly, his bloody hand cuffing Hirano’s cheek. Realizing what he’s done, he apologizes profusely while Hirano angrily pulls the fabric tighter, making the wound hurt on purpose. 

“And what made you think I wanted to see you hurt, dumbass!!” Hirano is of course very worried for Kagi but doesn’t know what else he can do aside from wrapping the wound tightly. He calls for Miya, asking if he’s found the exit, but the silence is so unnerving he goes to the hole, seeing Miya gone. There’s something at the very end of the maze on the ground. Taking out his phone, not wanting to leave Kagi alone who can’t lean down, he goes to picture mode (no cell service obviously) and zooms in, seeing it’s the knife he gave Miya with what may be blood on and around it. 

Panicking even more, Hirano’s now stuck with the choice of leaving Kagi injured and by himself, or going to find Miya who may have run away and could be fine. 

The man drags Miya to a place where there’s a tripod set up, asking the viewers what he should do to his newest victim (while tying and gagging him), creepily calling him a beauty and such, being really gross and inappropriate. It’s revealed this is all being streamed, this whole “event,” and while the guy waits for people’s responses on what he should do to Miya (mostly sexual and mutaliting things), the two fangirls who always show up with Sasamiya accidentally walk into view (they sadly got dragged into this XD). The man tries to “scare” them off, but they obviously recognize Miya and manage to make the guy chase after them.

Sasaki hears people screaming and peaks around the corner since the screams are going further away, and his blood runs cold seeing Miya tied up and gagged. He runs over, mortified, unable to wake him. He notices the camera set up right infront of him and rages, saying if anyone’s fucking watching that they’re sick pieces of shit and if they had any sense of human decency or emotions they’d call police to come save them, telling them where they are (at such and such farm in the back trapped in the hedge maze). Sasaki’s never lost his cool like this before, but not knowing if Miya’s okay, his life - his world, he spirals into darkness again. 

Naturally he unties and ungags Miya and carries him bridal style for a while, hoping beyond hope he’d see the other’s eyes staring into his own when he eventually glanced down. Eventually he can’t hold him like that anymore, and instead moves him so Miya’s on his back (with much difficulty). 

Eventually Miya wakes up, completely out of it and drowsy. Sasaki practically collapses on the ground and pulls Miya into his arms, finally taking a long needed break. Miya reveals he can’t see and he’s scared, which makes Sasaki hold him tighter, fearful too but manages to stay calm for Miya’s sake. 

Miya manages to convince Sasaki to search again (Sasa was fighting because he wouldn't be able to carry Miya without more rest), saying he trusts him to guide him so he walks slowly behind him, hands tightly holding one another. His eye sight’s getting a little better, seeing dark outlines of things. 

The ground underneath Miya is suddenly gone, Miya stepping on something (a trigger trap) that Sasaki missed. Sasaki barely manages to tighten his grip in time, nearly falling in himself. They hear a chainsaw getting close to them, and Miya looks bravely and solemnly into Sasaki’s eyes, telling him to let go. 

“You gotta let me go-”

“No-”

“You can’t lift me up and I’ll fall anyway if they kill you! You have to let me go!”

“I am NOT dropping you!!” 

“I can’t live knowing I’m the reason you died!!” Miya lets go of the hand that was holding the other’s wrist, making Sasaki slide more inwards as he tightens his grip on Miyano. 

“Don’t you fucking let go Yoshikazu, I can’t live in a world without you!!” The sheer tone and roughness surprises Miya, almost wanting to listen to him because he loves Sasaki so much hearing him like this makes him cry. But the chainsaw sound is getting closer, he can hear the footsteps thundering closer. 

As hard as it is, Miya gives his best, biggest, warmest smiles that’s filled with all the love within himself, tears falling endlessly. “I love you, Shuumei. I love you so much. Please escape, for me, and find happiness again.” His fingers uncurl from Sasaki’s, the realization in his lover’s face bone chilling. “Thank you for showing me what it’s like to love and be loved.” Thanks to the blood on Sasaki’s hand, Miya slips from his grip. The look of utter devastation as if he was told everyone he ever loved had been violently killed makes Miya lose his composure, only to grow surprised seeing Sasaki coming in after him (narrowly escaping the chainsaw man). He manages to hold Miya’s hand. 

“My happiness is you.” Everything goes black.  

Miya comes to first, out of it, almost forgetting what happened. He hurts all over, but panics as he realizes Sasaki is lying still. He shakes him. “Sh-Shuumei, Shuumei Wake up! Please, please you have to wake up!!” 

Eyes open in such a small slit Miya almost doesn’t realize it. “Mm ake,” Sasaki struggled to mutter, probably trying to say ‘I’m awake.’ His voice is so weak it terrifies Miyano out of his mind. 

All the while Hirano helps Kagi walk around, the wound getting worse as he’s losing more and more blood. At some point Kagi staggers, legs giving out, and Hirano stops, knowing anymore will kill him. Naturally the basketball player assures him that he can keep going, even if his voice is fading along with his sight. He’s so pale Hirano starts thinking of the worse possibilities, all of which are too much for him to bear. 

Probably more stuff happening to Kagihira, but can’t think of it right now x.x

Half way through Hanzawa and his brothers, who are enjoying the pumpkin patch, hear people whispering and talking about some nightmare level livestream happening and that they should leave. He asks someone if he can look and goes cold in fear when he sees a guy with a mask kneeling down in front of Miya when he’s unconscious. He grabs the phone from the stranger and looks through the comments, seeing other links to other videos, the previews all showing people, some he knew, in the maze. Just as he reaches for his phone to call Hirano, Sasaki shows up, and he watches and listens, learning he’s at the same place he is, but hasn’t seen a hedge maze advertised. Pulling the stream up on his phone, him and his brothers find the maze, call the cops, and enter, wanting to help as many people as they can. They’re smart and bring stuff to protect them in too. 

It’s either sick psychos coming together or a cult. They spent months making the hedge maze and one of the owners of the pumpkin patch are one of them, wanting money and fame from the streams. Though later they claim they had no idea there was even a hedge maze there and that they’re horrified to learn about what happened!

Naturally everyone lives cause I don’t like killing characters, and they have a lot of trauma and healing but they live happily ever after with bonds far stronger than before~

[thatstupidache]

Guess im getting into skin care at 30 cause the aging and sun damage is starting to catch up to me :,)

Spent $25 on a sunscreen lotion that made my face burn and peel yesterday so like...if anyone has suggestions for sensitive dry/combo skin cause I have no idea what im doing

Everything i read online seems overwhelming x.x im trying the elf holy hydration with spf but it has fragrance in it.. so far its not burning my skin but I know from past experiences that fragrance always fucks me up lol

[niobiumao3]

Hawkeye show: What if we kept making each episode better and better?

Me: That seems unlikely.

Hawkeye show: Episode 5 :D :D

Me: x.x

One thing I think the Hawkeye show has done better than FATWS did is emphasizing how much Clint isn't actually trying to kill Yelena or Maya or most of these people. That's why he's nowhere near as effective in the fights with them; he's making every effort to stay on top without producing maiming or killing blows.

FATWS struggled on this somewhat as it regards Bucky, I think due to lack of really talking about it as directly as Hawkeye has. It made Bucky look unskilled, as opposed to especially Episodes 4 and 5 of Hawkeye, where's it's obvious if Clint wanted to he'd have taken care of most of these people in short order. Like Bucky he has a lot more experience killing people, years wise, nonstop, than most of the rest of the characters (and unlike Yelena or Maya has the benefit of training with Natasha all those years). Even Yelena admits that the trail of bodies he left in his wake is impressive.

And yet they don't make Yelena or Maya look unskilled or incapable in showing this about Clint. They aren't made to suffer to prop him up. Maya catches Clint by surprise and nearly kills him (which rattles him, as we see in the Uber ride; he was trying to help her, instead of the more expedient thing, and it almost costs him). There's a little suggestion of Yelena being, like Kate, wildly over-confident and blinded by anger and grief over losing Nat, (a lovely parallel with Maya and Clint both, actually--grief and anger blinding them to reality), but otherwise she holds her own in a confusing, multiperson fight.

It's some very deft storytelling and it's not easy to pull off the nuance of 'older, experienced character a doesn't want to cripple or kill characters b and c, who want to kill them and are very capable, chaos ensues' without making any of a, b, or c look like a fuckup. They're managing it very well and I love it.

Numerous other people have also mentioned how Clint's entire life is defined by all these powerful women in it, which is a wonderful change from many other characters like him. It's not men who are shaping his interactions, it's women: Natasha, Laura, Kate, Eleanor, Maya, Yelena. Men are problems for all of them, but his entire story has been about these women. The only man to really come into it in a meaningful way has been Kingpin.

And I think we've got about all the confirmation we need at this point that a) the watch is Laura's, b) she was a Mockingbird-esque or Widow-like character. Joss Whedon denied us Clintasha, so instead Laura is, well, very much like Natasha. Of course I'd rather have just had Clintasha but as that's no longer on the table this is a fun alternative: saving Nat wasn't some one-off, it was Clint's past interactions with a woman paying forward into his behavior.

Just like with Kate.

Not kidding this series has been payoff after payoff.

ps Disney if anything happens to Grills I'm coming for you I don't fucking care about comics canon.

pps I mean we all knew it was Kingpin but I'm very happy to see him. Charlie Cox arm truthers win. :)

[braintapes]

oughhhh....read the transcript for new hotel ep (cant Listen to it yet but i gotta know what happens) and not only is this my favorite episode aesthetic wise but like. every time i think i cant love madam hotel enough another episode proves actually. i can love her SO MUCH MORE....

like. it’s clear she’s thinking about a lot of stuff at the moment, things she probably never had to think about before. I think her taking on a ‘human’ body for the first time back in X.X definitely sparked a revelation in the Hotel.

She’s so used to being BIG and VAST and EVERYTHING that being small and finite and gushy and humanly fragile (as much as she can be anyway, being herself) was a totally new and fascinating experience. It was a treat and a newfound delight for her, otherwise she wouldn’t be as giddy and playful and curious about herself as she was in 4.13 - Judy Blashy.

It’s interesting to me that she’s still hanging on to that body. Hasn’t changed it, hasn’t taken on another guest’s appearance or done seemingly anything at all with her form past its original state. Considering how much the Hotel LOVES change, loves experimenting with her own appearance and form as the Hotel (building), this is extremely curious. Creativity and exploration is important to her, so much so that even the staff uniforms change every time. And yet...This form is unchanging. 

I wonder if there’s not a little bit of omnipotent immortal’s ennui going on here, after getting a new perspective? The Hotel wants and wants and wants and cannot be told ‘no’ to. So used to being boundless, so constantly and eternally powerful, and yet...No matter how much she gets her way, something’s still wrong. She’s unhappy and clearly aware that there’s contradiction and friction there, but I wonder if at this point she knows why, exactly. How aware of herself is Madam Hotel? And is what she’s wanting, whatever void she’s trying to fill, something she is capable of having? hrmmm head full many thoughts...

There’s some side commentary to be made here about the Hotel’s actions this season in relation to being an artist - wanting to go big and bombastic and COOL AND FUN, ignoring the structures that actually make a piece work. I think I rambled once on a priv twitter about the Lobby Boy in X-X and how his part in that episode felt like a bit of commentary on what it’s like to be a horror artist. Madam Hotel’s arc feels like it can be taken as a sort of continuation of that, in a way. idk. maybe i’ll share that essay if anyone ever wants to see it, for now i just wanna go on about this episode and about Madam Hotel a bit.

conclusion: i love her dearly and i am on the edge of my seat to see where this arc goes

[winebrightruby]

Would you be comfortable sharing any wisdom and/or revelations you’ve had since becoming a mother? As someone trying to break generational trauma, motherhood...excites and terrifies me.

Motherhood (parenthood, I’m assured, but I don’t want to speak beyond my own experience here) is full of revelations but idk about wisdom. A lot of it is revelations about yourself, because unless you’ve been held in a POW camp, there just isn’t much comparable experience to the amount of pressure that caring full-time for a newborn will inflict on you. “You’ll be tired” is true but it doesn’t come near capturing the scope of how tired and what that will mean in daily life/your basic ability to function.

When you’re put under tons of stress, your most deeply ingrained instincts and reflexes come to the fore. If you come from a background of abuse, neglect, or even just poor communication/bad interpersonal skills, all of that will come roaring to the surface. Things you thought you had worked past or managed not to internalize or seen your parents/caretakers do but always known that it was bad so you would never do it yourself - all of those things are waiting for their shot, and that shot will absolutely come. 

The best advice I can give anyone who knows they come from a family situation that they don’t wish to replicate is to get yourself in therapy or counseling before you have a kid. That may sound a little bleak, but I really think that it’s the best possible approach. I also strongly feel that new mothers would all benefit from regular counseling sessions - I realize this is almost impossible in a lot of cases because our society just doesn’t support mothers with the resources they need (plus the physical toll of trying to get to appointments while having a three week old baby ... ugh, I don’t even wanna think about it). But it would help so much. 

I’m sorry; I know I’ve been sitting on this ask for almost two weeks. I wish I had something insightful or useful to say; I feel like this topic is so vast and at the same time so under-discussed. Being a parent is an opportunity to be the best version of yourself. Being a parent is also akin to being subject to months or years of literal war crimes while everyone around you tells you how blessed/lucky you are to be having this experience, and for people who give birth, it’s (broadly speaking) the most hormonally turbulent time you’ll ever experience. It’s very hard to be even a passably good version of yourself under those circumstances, but for those of us trying to break away from toxic or outright abusive family histories, the stakes feel higher than anything we’ve ever done. 

I think I’m just going to go ahead and post this, even though it’s a rambling and messy response, because it doesn’t seem to be getting any better the more I work on it. Thank you for your question, anon, even though I don’t feel I’ve done a very good job answering it x.x

[collidingxworlds]

Do you gravitate toward certain characters? Is there an order to what you answer first? Who is your favorite character who you do not write?

Mun Questions || Accepting !

Do you gravitate toward certain characters?

(( I’d like to say no to prove myself that I’m capable of a certain degree of eclectivity, but unfortunately the answer is yes x’D While I can write other sorts of characters, my first choices always are characters who share the same set of traits (even if with some variations). I almost always end up picking characters who have gray or ambiguous morality, with a traumatic past or something in their backstory that’s a source of internal conflict for them, and who can be decent people if they choose to but also have a darkness inside them too. I guess you could say that I have a preference for those who might fit in the “anti-hero” category. ))

(( Tbh, I really like villains too (as long as they aren’t mono-dimensional), but I don’t write them often (not for RPs at least). Maybe I should put a pin on that and consider it for the next time I decide to add new muses xD ))

Is there an order to what you answer first?

(( I’ve always tried to reply to my drafts chronologically. So, oldest to newest. It hasn’t always been a super rigid rule, but I’ve mostly followed it (with a few exceptions). During my latest hiatus, though, I’ve decided to change that policy, because I often ended up forcing myself to write stuff I wasn’t feeling up to and that killed my inspiration quite a lot. So, since I’ve been back, I’ve been replying to what I’m more inspired for first and foremost, and then the rest. Tbh, this is something I wished I had started to do earlier. It would have definitely spared me some stress x.x but I guess it’s one of those things you learn wising up after having made the same mistakes one time too many xD ))

Who is your favorite character who you do not write?

(( Uuuuuh, alright, this is a hard one. I have a few faves I never wrote (and a couple that I’m writing exclusively on Discord, but  I guess those don’t count for this question). They are all characters I considered writing and then never did either because I wasn’t sure I could pull them off properly or because I think no one would want to write with them or because some of my closest mutuals already write them and yes, I can get duplicate anxiety at times (also because of past experiences, but I’m not going there >.> Five and Will were on that list too, but I eventually found the guts to say “fuck it” and give them a try. ))

(( If I had to name a few...Loki, Sherlock and Moriarty (from the BBC show), Spock, and a couple of cartoon muses. ))

[hakaibunshi]

2020 fanwork highlights

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your favourite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works! 

※  ※  ※

Thank you so much @kuriboh-i-choose-you for tagging me??... I am not good at this, but I will try to do something positive for once, I guess, and shamefully plug my own work........................(?) °_ °’’ 

feat. puzzle - scandal - pride - wish - dragon - kingcrab but tagging others first because this is going to be too long.

※  ※  ※

So many have already done this, but I was not able to find @pridefulrose @life-0r-death @shinayashipper @tenderwulf @the-kings-of-games if they already did this, then I am sorry, I miss a lot of stuff all the time ...

(And I am also sorry for tagging people who have never even interacted with me  人(_ _*) but I enjoyed their works so I am tagging anyway, please forgive me and ignore me if you want to)

※  ※  ※

O P I A 

[Puzzleshipping | ~12K]

He is used to seeing the world through Yugi’s eyes and filtering each experience through his thoughts; A thing was never just a thing but whatever Yugi saw in it. But not anymore. He watches his own fingers move closer, pushing in between the other’s until they finally all lock in place. He doesn’t know what that feels like to Yugi, but he sees their hands loving each other. And has to fully acknowledge that it is wonderful.

“No.” His voice feels comfortable for the first time. Along the length of his leg, Yugi’s ankle brushes in placid motion up and down. Bashful yet intrigued, Atem pays attention to how his body reacts to all these physical breaches. He also thinks back to what had happened in the photo booth.

Overall this story has just taught me so much; it needs to take a spot here. It was the very first time I have ever participated in a fandom event. It was the first time I wrote for Puzzleshipping, my first time writing Fluff, first time writing FOR someone else.

The pressure was so real, and I struggled so much along the way, but at the same time, this was the thing that catapulted me back into the fandom for real. After this, it seemed impossible to turn away again, and I realized how much I love not just writing but putting effort into writing. Polishing it, fighting against it if needed.

Break A Heart

[KingCrabshipping | ~12K]

Jack, who stood a head taller than Yusei, leaned down, hovering his lips over the fair skin of Yusei’s neck, sending hot breath on its path. Yusei’s desire was audible through his short breaths, but he didn’t care, not that he was keeping it a secret. The image in his head was Jack biting him to pieces, and it made him shiver. “Come on then, Yusei.” Jack’s voice was heavy, even if he hummed his words. He leaned in until he could feel the buckles of Yusei’s jacket against his chest. The beast's teeth playfully caressing the shell of his ear, Yusei couldn’t hide the vibration it sent through his body. “Fight me.”

This needs to be here not because it is especially great, it really isn’t, BUT it was something I wrote for me and for me only because this is what I wanted and needed and for once I really did not care if others would like it or not. And that was kind of special for me. Also this ship. It just makes me lose my shit, I love it this much.

A Wish Granted

[Wishshipping | Dragonshipping | ongoing]

“Ain’t as bad as it looks,” he felt the need to say. “Most are older.”

Yugi turned away and reached for the towel, wringing it in his hands. Already, just the sound of it had some bizarrely calming effect. “Sorry…, I didn’t mean to stare. I didn’t think you were hurt this badly.” He spread the towel across both his hands and gestured to Katsuya to lift his hand. Some water dripped onto his thighs but it didn’t seem to bother him.

“As I said, ain’t all fresh.”

“They were fresh once.” He slowly started to rub the dirt and dry blood off the skin, evidently taking great care not to put too much pressure at first, not to cause him any pain.

“Well, they don’t hurt anymore.”

The faintest, saddest smile hushed over Yugi’s face and for a moment Katsuya thought he might start to cry. “Hm… just looking at them hurts”, he said under his breath, as if to himself.

Katsuya thought about that for a second but stopped before he, too, could feel it.

My baby. Although it is constantly taking the back seat to make space for ongoing smaller projects and fandom events, this is so close to my heart. Jounouchi’s POV because I love him and I feel way too connected to this boy.

Even tho this is getting long: Inspired by @kuriboh-i-choose-you I will also put here a special mention [Scandalship WIP haha]:

HEAVENSENT 

is the first thing I started writing in 2020. And until now it is the one I most want to write but also rarely find the correct headspace to do so. But I want to share a little something here then, if I might~

It is a story of Kaiba trying to travel to the afterlife, but traveling into the past instead, whoops.

[Scandalshipping | Prideshipping | WIP]

(of chapter 2)

A strange and new insecurity bewitched him. Was he meant to bow? No one ever taught him about this. But he did not feel like bowing to the other, instead, he lifted his chin ever so slightly. “I was worried not to be able to communicate.” “I wouldn’t have a language barrier get in the way of my revenge. Now, where are my clothes? Don’t make me ask again…” The audacity had Atem nearly choke on his breath. Wasn’t it too much to talk like this, no matter who he was? “It would appear the servants have taken it to clean... I will make sure it will be returned to you. You shall forgive the insolence.” He thought about calling the guards in, but didn’t want to interrupt the time between them quite yet. Once the priests found out about his awakening, they would be all over the case. “May I ask your name? I wish to at least address you properly. Forgive me for not recognizing you should there have been a way for me to kn-” “Seto Kaiba.” Seto! By Rah, if this was a joke, he wished it to come to an end already. Besides him being interrupted yet again when all he did was try to be polite, to have his dearest’s name be used atop of his shape, how much insult would he have to tolerate? “Seto….?” “It is unfortunate… I thought I should have left a lasting impression on that ghost of yours.” “I’m afraid I don’t understand.” “Yes, I’m aware. It’s rather obvious.” Searching for his composure, Atem pushed aside the blinds, pretending curiosity as to what was happening outside, where nothing was happening at all because the whole world was happening right here. He sensed it through the vibrations inside his chest. Alarmed by the sound of naked footsteps behind him, he turned just in time to hurry and push himself between the door and Seto Kaiba. “What are you doing?” “Out of my way, Pharaoh, I will find the lackeys responsible for my clothes vanishing, and I will get them, hopefully before someone dares to rub them against a stone down in the Nile.” His trembling palms raised toward Kaiba's chest, Atem managed to stop his motion, incredibly cautious not to touch him. “There is nothing wrong with the Nile, but I am trying to be understanding. However, will you please consider your appearance and withhold from exposing yourself like this to the entire court. The guards might think you a mad man. I ask you to stay here, I will get your dress back for you.” “You better be quick about it.” “Just...” Atem did not appreciate the language at all, but the worst of it was that the harsh fold between Kaiba’s brows, the disregard in the air between them and the light garment made his knees weak. “Just stay here. And stay quiet. If you cause trouble, I-” “I got it.” He turned away. “Just get on with it.”

This is so long, how awful, I apologize !!!!! but also ... greatful if anyone at all reads through this x.x’’’’’ 

ヽ(´ཀ`」∠) 彡3

[magiaesabiduriaxx]

Luke Alvez & Spencer Reid poly-amorous verse. Just a list of things about them in this relationship because this has been bugging me since I started thinking about it a few days ago. And b/c both of them have just been obsessing over it too. x.x

This relationship started shortly after Reid began focusing more on teaching but still consulting with the team. It made it easier for both of them to be willing to date a colleague. 

Keeping with the timeline, this means their ages are 39 for Reid and 45 (will be 46 in March) for Alvez). And because the timeline is vital to their friendship and their relationship, I am only willing to write them at this age or older for the poly-amorous verse (obviously unless we create a completely different verse outside of modern/cm universe). 

They do have a place together (it’s Alvez’s house and Reid moved in about six months after they started dating) and it’s kept tidy at just about all times. There’s books everywhere (educational and classic literature from Reid’s interests; military/historical, mysteries, and the occasional romance book from Alvez’s interests) in their home. 

Alvez is still full time with the team at this time so he travels for work and comes back at odd hours of the night/day. 

Reid was already comfortable with touching Alvez before they started dating so when they actually started seeing each other in a romantic scope it made it easier for Reid to navigate the sexual aspects of a relationship. Although Reid was not completely new to sexual/romantic touching, he did only have one experience prior and it wasn’t the greatest. His partner disregarded Reid’s boundaries to get there so Reid had some healing to do from that. 

They agreed to have Reid ask to go to the bedroom or explicitly request sex so as to avoid any potential boundary crossing between them. This gives Reid both security and comfort while also removing the pressure from their partners on attempting to read his mood/mind during kissing/hugging. 

Because Reid is extremely comfortable with Alvez, this would help bridge the whole physical boundary between Reid and their partner(s). 

Alvez enjoys the fact that Reid knows SO MUCH and often just purposely gets Reid started on a rant about something Alvez knows little about so he can make heart eyes at Reid while Reid spews out facts and statistics about said topic. Normally after this, Reid realizes what happened and will end up being a little embarrassed about it but he’s coaxed out of the mood easily enough. 

Despite Reid’s general disinterest in touching for sexual purposes, Ralvez are extremely touch-based when it comes to small acts of affection and comforting gestures. They hold hands or rest on each other often which means ideally their third would also be willing/able to give them comforting touches when they need it. 

They both communicate at different levels. Despite being skilled and trained in behavioral analysis, they both have difficulty speaking about their past and their own emotions particularly when it’s about their trauma. Usually, these conversations happen after/during cuddling after Alvez gets home from a particularly rough case. 

Quote that makes me think of them just because I’m in my feels: “I’m attracted to intelligence. Don’t get me wrong, a perfectly crafted body will certainly get my attention, but I’ll get bored with it. I always do. I need you to outsmart me. Make me feel like I could learn from you, grow with you. Do that and you can have me forever.” -- A.R. Lucas