#( your fault for being my mains )
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'thats not his role in the story!' hm i wonder what the point of it is then. hm i wonder what the dead pixel scene means. hm i wonder what wrong organ are trying to say with the context of 'awesome male friendship' and 'corporate hell where the only woman onboard is constantly under ridicule, abused or forcibly forgotten yet is the catalyst' if not this. hm i wonder how curly's physical agony being a direct parallel to anya's mental agony, stripped of voice, agency, just like her, and being forced to watch what happens while not doing jack shit, just like he used to, plays a part in this. i wonder what the moral of him being the final girl says about living with the consequences of your inaction, because of sentimentality, because of status, career and social. hm i wonder whatever the fuck this game was trying to say. hm i wonder what else is on this person's blog Oh Lord there's yaoi penice.
#mouthwashing#mouthwashing spoilers#sa mention#dont go after this person but i hooooope they rethink. their view of the story.#but god im gonna squeeze lemons in my eyes soon#taking this game away from yall until you unlearn misogyny#ooooh curlys just sooo sweet poor thaaang oh my oh my youre looking sooo far into thissss haaahaaa#its all just a misunderstanding!!!! anya didnt speak clearly enough!!!! noooo its not on my beautiful blue eyed rascal hahaaa#ok look curlys an insane character i love analyzing him and i VERY MUCH dont want people to think im like villanizing the guy#the entire point is that otherwise pretty chill people can fuck up OF THEIR OWN FAULT AND BIAS and then learn. painfully. what not to do.#and by chill i also dont mean holy water pure ok. distinctions.#and id really hate people taking either side of the argument on curlys morality. esp considering his appearance (for both.)#just don't. fucking make baby ass black and white arguments#this game should be behind a childproof lock in the shape of a reading comprehension test abt crime and punishment#im super supportive of people trying to think outside the norm about art like mouthwashing and explaining their own musings#and talking with others and trying to understand how to argument their thoughts which is what the op of the post this was left on was doing#being genuinely curious and open#but brother i draw the line at so merrily denying the main fucking point of the character in the catalyst event#GOOD GOD make this game only accessible to 35+ yo's with no internet access#the contents of their blog were just the cherry on top#unblocking them in hopes they see this ig
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So come fill up your glasses of brandy and wine / Whatever it costs I will pay / So be easy and free, when you're drinking with me / I'm a man you don't meet every day...
#em draws stuff#oc time again hehe#haunted by your hand#the gambler: james webster#the highwayman: kate heriot#bweirdOCtober#ROLESWAP TIME!!! ALIVE KATE GHOST JAMES TIME WOOOOOO#I cannot emphasize enough that this is Equally bad as the previous situation if not actively worse#the main change this actually causes is a Sharp Uptick in the amount of partying going on in the story#if james is a morose melancholic drunk then kate is a Wild and Messy drunk. and leaving her to run the inn does not economy make.#people are absolutely getting murdered for their money every night but what's important is that this is now also a Party Place#but you stumble away from the noise and light for a moment and. oh. Oh god what Is that.#man you don't meet every day (from which the caption lyrics are taken) is Thee kate song of all time by the way#also what gave kate the dubious honor of being my only character with a voiceclaim. yes she sounds like cait o'riordan.#the version sung by her is such a particular gender that works so nicely with whatever is going on with kate#my horrible babygrill :) my daughter with a thousand faults :)
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wukong running to macaque all excited but not immediately yelling and jumping on him and instead doing a tippy toe dance and hand flap and quiet excited noises (hes just like me fr)
#lego monkie kid#monkie kid#sun wukong#macaque#monkey king#lmk#shadowpeach#im projecting actually#monkey king i apologize you are my main target#its your fault for being so me
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Finally made a Tav meetup image to match my Durge one, also after finally resolving my lag issues i could play a little farther into my Misfortune save (one day i will finish Act 3. It's just so much) which led to us finally being able to break Wyll's pact (yay!) but it also illustrated just how much Mizora gets bullied on her save. I imagine she absolutely loathes appearing in camp because of it.
I also finally get to introduce you to Baphomet! My third Dark Urge whom you might have seen before as a cameo in my Durge meetup art. For the longest time i barely had any art of her, but i've caught the bug i'm afraid so even if it's not a lot it's still enough for an introduction! (And more is certainly on the way)
(Can you tell i have a lot of difficulty drawing her? Because i do.)
Baphomet is a Way of the Four Elements (Fire spells only) Monk good Durge who is, on the surface, the most normal one out of the three. She was raised in a Lathandarian monastery as a star novice, the balance she was taught was what kept the Urges at bay for an unusually long time. This, however, was a double edged sword as when she finally snapped as a full-fledged Monk she was ten times more dangerous. Her killing of a Dawnmaster and several other novices led to her being banished from the monastery, and that's when she set off for the Temple of Bhaal. Yadda yadda main story stuff happens.
As a person Baphy is very stoic, being even less expressive than Tav; she's quiet and generally regarded as almost unreadable by her companions and instead lets her good actions speak for her. Internally there are a lot of things going on in her head though, most of them being her trying to grapple with The Urge. She's a very considerate person and tries to pass fair judgement to everyone, though can be lenient on those that show her kindness. She may not be good with words but she will do all in her power to support you.
#my art#bg3#bg3 tav#bg3 durge#tav: tav#tav: misfortune#tav:lawine#npc: fortune#durge: baphomet#karlach#wyll#mizora#orin#gortash#modern au#because i cant stop drawing these bitches in modern clothes when im too lazy to draw the armor#i feel like ive gotten better with writing lately so my bios are a lot better :) happy about it#i just realized i havent even introduced tav my main tav yet. i promise i love them i love them so bad they just have very little art#because i haaaate drawing the crackles. i know thats my own fault but surely you understand#IF YOURE WONDERING WHY SO MUCH BAPHY ART IS TRANS JOKES: when i was concepting her with friends i went hey#wouldnt it be really fucking funny if baphy woke up on the nautiloid as trans.#like “im probably a trans woman but i have to serve father so idrc about that rn”#and then she just woke up with her preferred name and pronouns being the only thing she remembers. and she has no idea shes trans#so a lot of her shitpost art is just trans related jokes because we all think its really fucking funny.#durgetash is only real for the bit btw its not something serious. once again the bit is important here
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#reframing how you view your coping mechanisms is a big part of healing i think#like it’s so easy to beat yourself up over something#that was literally just your body and brains way of trying to protect you at the time#and while it may not be conducive#and is something you need to work on#bc it doesn’t serve you anymore#you did the best you could with the tools you had and that’s valid#like for me isolation is my main coping mechanism#and although it is super harmful to my mental well-being and something im trying v hard not to do#it was my brain trying to protect me from experiencing trauma again#and we can’t fault her for that#and beating yourself up over that is just another vice that doesn’t serve you either#idk if this makes sense butttt yeah#also just now realizing that i did not post anything last month for sa awareness#completely spaced it out n things have been hectic but#pls give yourself grace as you navigate life after trauma#you deserve that space#and im always here if anybody needs anything#i love you dearly
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one of the worst feelings ever is wanting to write but your hands hurt too much or the words just don’t want to work so you just sit there staring at a half finished doc with tears in your eyes bc you want to write and you need to write but everything is telling you that you can’t
#and that you’re a terrible writer and that no one cares aaaaaaand imposter syndrome kicks in and you just feel like crap#bc all your friends have been wriying recejtky so why can’t you??? cause they���re bETTER THAN YOU#lol idk why my head is so bad today#the feelings of inferiority and emptiness and idk worthlessness are strong and i hate it but i can’t stop it#i just wanna write!!! and like what i write!!!#but i Can’t and i haven’t liked anything i’ve written in Months and ugh i hate not being able to d something i wanna do#oh and now i’m crying??? why the frick am i cRYING litetally why is typing this making me Worse#sorry guys needed to rant#the inadequacy was strong today#something something students keep telling me how much they dislike me or how i’m whiny for asking them to be respectful and like#i Know i shouldn’t compare myself to my friends but gosh it’s hard when they’re all like. so much better than me.#and i don’t have a lot of time to be on tumblr bc of work so i just feel like i’m watching everything from afar and it’s no one’s fault but#my brain’s like no one is Doing anything it’s just my brain being dumb and i can’t stand it and I want to stop feeling empty and like i’m#missing a part of myself and like the words i write don’t matter gOD why can’t i just feel happy with where i am and not care what the kids#who hate me say or realize that no one cares that i’m not on much like i’m still Here and trying to interact it’s not like everyone hates me#for being busy or for liking side characters more than the main characters and just—#sorry#that felt good actually#idk what came over me#imma just. imma shower. then maybe delete my tags#sorry if anyone got this far aT ALL grace is either asleep or trying to sleep so i don’t wanna bother them since they slept poorly last nigh#okay done now for real sorry delete tags later sorry if you saw this and how freaking messed up ky freaking brain is
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can’t stand blogs who refuse to acknowledge or face what’s happening in the world because ‘escapism’ do the 12k dead children in palestine get to escape? no? so then why should you
#and if you don’t know what’s going on over 120 days into this genocide#that’s YOUR fault and you’re being wilfully ignorant#i admit i probably haven’t posted it aboht it on here too much but that’s cause this isn’t my main blog or even main social media#and i’m doing the work irl#also it’s NOT a religious conflict you ignoramous#it’s a facist settler colony ‘state’ committing genocide again the indigenous population#and hiding behind religion so that people like you feel too guilty to question it#palestine
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thinking about it sex work isnt inherently less safe than doing any other 1:1 meeting work (a thing youd do a lot in home care as a nurse for example), it's the structures and stigma that make it less so
#i havent done sw ive only done healthcare#i would actually like to do sw#the societal and structural issues around it which are not the fault of swers is whats keeping me from trying it#that and i am in fact not a very hard worker and i have a very niche look/vibe#like theres a market but i fear it might be saturated compared to how many ppl are into it and how many restrictions i have#idk#anyway what i mean by structures is like the way you need to self establish your safety network vs if you go to a client in eg healthcare u#workplace likely knows where you are. also the stigma and hate against swers vs stigma against many other professions#(anyway ymmv im just musing around my own area)#im afraid of being doxxed by you know whats and its already almost happened and theres info connected to my name id rather not be there#so thats sorta my Main Fear like i would wanna keep anonymity if i were to do it and thats hard and im quite recognisable on even like#live video if you really really wanna cause me trouble w like future employers or sth in other fields#ANYWAY#treewhispers
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i love that we are discovering our boundaries and saying No, but there comes a point where you can't cancel on your friends anymore. you have to say yes eventually and actually be there. if you like being invited you have to show up at least once. like listen to your body and energy, obviously. but there will come a time where your friends will start hurting and think you're avoiding them or don't like them or don't want to hang out, because every single time you had the opportunity you said no or you canceled last minute.
#this post is brought to you by My Friend Invited Out 6 People Including Me and I was Literally the ONLY Person that Didnt Cancel#his heart was broken#like 3 of then straight up waited until the very last minute to cancel#youre not fooling your friends when you do that. it does hurt their feelings. and they can only take it so many times before giving up#and when they do it wont be their fault because they reached out already multiple times#when does Haha Canceling on My Friend go from protecting your energy to isolation#for both of you#it just hurt to see my friend hurt#because they all initially said yes too#5 people pulling out we had a whole gamenight planned that turned into a 2 person dinner#smdh wake up out of main character syndrome babe we're learning how to be A Good Friend again#being a friend comes with responsibilities btw like there are things you have to do to maintain your friendship#im not talking out of my ass on this one either#do you have any idea the dbt and workbooking ive done to relearn how to connect with people#and notice the damage my isolation and agoraphobia was having on my deteriorating friendships
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If I keep my motivation up with the animatic project, I plan to make ganondorf just. soooo uncomfortably correct about things. you know, in that event horizon of being both indefensible enough in his actions that you feel like he's just saying things to make himself look less bad, but also you can't really retort a proper counterargument without revealing huge biases in your own perception of reality
just riding that wind waker swagger to more extreme extremes
#thoughts#ganondorf#animatic project#thralls of power#my goal is to make a ganondorf that will radicalize the audience against their will <3#even though he keeps on bumping his ample forehead against massive shortcomings he never really manages to address#one of them being uhhh being a little casual about atrocities maybe king??? maybe less war crimes king???#maybe less assuming that people will follow you down to the very end of your doomed crusade against reality no matter how you act?#maybe less assuming you are the main protagonist of the universe king???#maybe more addressing the many problems and fear inside of your brain instead of destroying everything you touch about it????#I have so many scenes in my head about him being very right and others about him being very wrong#if I have the courage there are many internal discussions among gerudos about how various parties feel about what's going on#nabooru is doing anti-dorf propaganda obviously and she's not. wrong. about a lot of things (but she is about others)#my other problem about this project is that it's probably the most tragic thing I have ever conceived#especially for him#I managed to extract the gerudos from his fucking mess (partially and they don't get off the hook unscathed)#but he is just#it's just a very long and very stubborn jump into the void#and knowing where twilight princess ultimately leads it's so#it's just gutting!!! it just is!!!! even when it's partially his own fault!!!!#so yeah I don't know if I'll ever fully commit for this reason alone
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📝 💐 🛼 💔⏪️💭🧊🌄❤️🩹
I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor
previous ⏪︎ now playing ⏩ next back to playlist
#stranger things#bizarre love triangle playlist#el hopper#el's pov#i was so happy when i re-listened to this alongside the lyrics when looking for songs from el's pov#'at first i was afraid. i was petrified. kept thinking i could never live without you by my side'#all season long we saw el experiencing heartache over mike and how it led to her feeling insecure as if it was all her fault#she was convinced that if mike didn't love her then she couldn't be happy#'but then i spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong and i grew strong and i learned how to get along'#el spending time away from mike at nina along with all the months of doubt prior to their fallout now having validation...#it wasn't just her loving and falling out of love with mike over the course 3 days#it was her realization that their relationship has been deteriorating for a while now and coming to terms with that in 3 days#'and so you're back from outer-space. i just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face'#this is the main line that reminds me of her brushing past mike and will in the cabin#probably a little more harsh as this song is pretty harsh in terms of the singer not being capable of seeing her ex as even a friend now#but el's earned some harshness after what just went down#that doesn't mean they'll never overcome this#it just means there is still a serious need to confront it which wont be super pretty#and then the forgiveness and acceptance can only come after that#'and you see me. somebody new. i'm not the chained up little person still in love with you'#oooooo get him!#'you think i'd crumble? you think i'd lay down and die?'#sort of reminds me of the assumptions not just mike has but also most of the audience#they think it would be impossible for mike to end things with el bc she would be so broken hearted and she doesn't deserve that#which of course she doesn't#but maybe el knows what she deserves... and it's more than what mike is able to give#'i've got all my life to live and i've got all my love to give and i'll survive. i will survive.'#she's not going to go on forever being hung up on something that wasn't what she deserved in the first place#she will survive ya'll#4x09
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Sometimes I wonder if I'm being overly sensitive about things or whatever but T just had his own little breakdown to me saying his dad seems grumpy all the time and like he's always mad at him. Ouch.
#and reminds me i need to keep patient which i feel I've done pretty well with#and he's not ALWAYS mad#but damn if he's not been short with them all summer#t said 'its only two months!' and i reminded him that every person has different levels of what they can handle etc#but part of my brain is also like 'he spends at least half in the days in the basement alone on meetings while i work on the main floor'#since he cant do that for privacy reasons#and i know his job can be super draining and i try to leave space for that#at what point is it too much and does it come back to being my fault anyway#i have also been trying to be much better about sympathizing instead of always standing up for the person thats not there#i am not innocent but damn its hard when the hurt starts to impact your kids (he's not completely faultless either)#personal nonsense#need to find a different tag besides tbd to remind me to delete
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ppl who like making friends solely with one-note cardboard boxes who will hang out with them when it's convenient and never open up about who they are as people and what their lives are like dni
#the salt just caught up with me and now im pissed#hi welcome to what i like to call a friendly reminder that hanging out with someone just because its convenient is kind of shitty#and a less friendly reminder that talking about yourself to connect with people is an autistic trait#and an even less friendly reminder that not telling someone if theyve done you wrong and then proceeding to blow up on them is ALSO SHITTY#ESPECIALLY. WHEN. THEY THINK. YOU'RE ON GOOD TERMS. BECAUSE YOU ACTED LIKE IT AND THEY CAN'T READ YOU.#IM REALLY FUCKING MAD#I THINK I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE.#the people who actually somewhat knew me and hung out with me and were on good terms with me think the same#so like BLEH MYEH :PPPPPPPPP#like okay youre entitled to your opinions but sometimes you need to keep those to yourself#did u see me insulting u to ur face#nope i have not done even once#and thats on getting better communication skills instead of lashing out at someone for trying to fit in with your own vibes#like yeah oversharing is my deal. anybody who sees me here knows that#i bond by being open with people about who i am and what i like in the hopes that theyll do the same#if u think im just around for gaming and making silly jokes u would be wrong.#but of course nobody told me people weren't there to bond like that which in my opinion shouldnt be on me#and once again i am outcasted over something honestly kind of fucking stupid#some of the jokes i made were stupid yes but thats solely because i severely misjudged the vibes#and checks notes oh yeah nobody pulled me up for it even once.#okay so let me get this straight you barely know me and have been making assumptions about me since day one#pretty much let me believe you liked me for two whole weeks instead of asking me about things or cutting me off#and im the one who gets treated like im in the wrong? okay#this miscommunication was not my fault in the slightest and i KNOW that#if you hadve just talked to me things would be fine but theyre NOT.#if you hadve just looked at my gosh darn profile and seen im the queerest fucker around making gay and homophobic type jokes maybe you woul#have had half the mind to ask me if i could stop making those jokes!!!!!!!!!#i am not transphobic!!!!!!! I AM TRANS!! I WAS MAKING A MOCKERY OF SOME TRANSPHOBIC CULTURE I HATE!!!!#i mightve vented on main ONE TIME under the guise of a silly joke but oh my god guess what?? that was an attempt to see if anybody related.#you never liked me in the first place dont lie to yourself
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wanna go back to ssmy reread later I just have to suffer and struggle through one proper task that should take maybe 45 minutes for another four hours on top of the three or so it’s already been. Wait for me ssmy I’ll get there
#aaaany day now#anyway was thinking. how funny it is how much i love sasamiya The Couple#when i have spoken about them. not very much#it’s complicated! they’re so easy with one another and i’m a guy who likes weird it’s really hardly even my fault#really not my fault. imagine me going on a tangent here about how important it is to me that sasaki not limit all of his social capital#to miyano. Examine your relationships with your friends sweet boy. because if you don’t i will (i am) and i’ll be much more. Much about it#(i already am)#i always enjoy a main couple! but i can entrust that literature and analysis largely to other people. as i go spelunking#etc etc etc i could kind of use a nap i’m talking out my ass a little. being strange and offputting is a full time gig you know
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being the resident nezuko liker is such a challenge sometimes
#ooo these tags contain complaining if u dont like that then see ya around <3#i would love to scroll through the tag without being bombarded by. awfulness. both bot and fandom posted#yknow. yknow. that is a 12 yr old#it has become!!! genuinely frustrating! it always has been#and i dont mean to complain but. man. im just disappointed#and.while kinda begin the kny mascot she is barley present in fan made content. with meaning. and its all mostly reposted art ugh.#and even official stuff has her only as little child nezuko and!! i get it its cute whatever but it feel so pandery and wrong all the time#i just poitn. that is not her that is a facet u r choosign to hyperfocus on show me the real her#and lets be honest the og stroyline isnt kind to her etiher she is nonexistent after swordsmith#i remember for a time when idid post abt her i was one of the inly consistent nezuko artists who wanted to like. put her in scenarios#and i want reiterate again that drawing cute art and gifs of her is fine it doesnt hurt anyone. i love to see it actually#but like. in a fandom as big as this youd think. youd think they like her more!!!! but no#and. the last thing i want to insinuate is “if u dont like my fav character then u suck” cus thats is not how fandom content works. at all#fandom is a experience for u to cultivate for yourself. and sometimes it just comes up short!!! i guess#it jsut felt weird being lonely in your liking of an aspect of the series where there are so many ppl. yet they all only like the hot men.#which again. u do u. nothign wrong with it. its anime afterall. it can just be frustrating sometimes.#idk! im also not very social so maybe its just my fault but. man. id love to find some other resident nezuko likers that. isnt just shippin#i feel interacting would be so much easier if my fav was like. one of the main boys like everyone else. or i made ship content or somethin#but like i said fandom is for u and u only if that makes sense. the point is to create things u want to see. which is what i do and enjoy#just with nezuko specifcally. i dotn want to put my stuff of her in the tags anymore cuz i just. dont trust the fandom with her. its weird#but also. appreciate those who did interact. i hope ur all doing alright <3 ty for talkign with me :]#i just needed to get this out cuz its. kinda why i dotn post abt kny anymore. especially the s3 fandom im sorry i just dont vibe with it </
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i get a special kind of ocd rumination when im dysphoric sometimes where i worry i’m somehow actually “really cis” and it’s sort of funny to me when im not having an episode over it bc like gender identity fears are not an uncommon form of ocd but it’s usually cis guys being terrified of “secretly” being trans women and not trans guys terrified of “secretly” being cis women. At least from what i’ve seen.
#i went to a trans ocd focused subreddit once bc the main ocd sub said that was the appropriate place for specific gender identity ocd#but ohhhhh my god. the transphobia is predictably kind of intense#a good number of those guys blame trans people for their OCD and hate trans people being treated well bc it t#bc it triggers their ocd. enter key#i saw one nonbinary person expressing similar fears to me on there and they got REAMED and a lot of ppl were like#ITS YOUR FAULT I HAVE OCD ITS TRANS PPLS FAULT I HATE TRANS PPL
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