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postalenha · 3 years ago

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on and off % jake

pairing: playboybf!jake x reader genre: angst, fluff, lovers to exes, exes to lovers idek word count: 1.89k words requested: yes / prompt 14, “we called it off again last night.” / 18, “it’s been you all along.” / 19, “for the first time, i had something to lose.” synopsis: immaturity isn't needed in a relationship, but that seems to be jake's and your's specialty. warnings: curse words, mentions of drinking, throwing up, su!cide, toxic relationship, making out

"i thought you're going with jake today?" sunghoon asked as you hop into his car.

you rolled your eyes at the thought of riding in the same vehicle as the boy, "no, we called it off again last night."

"again?!" the boy exclaimed, "y/n, that's probably the nth time you guys called it off." he sighed in disbelief, "that's not how relationships work." he commented.

judgingly looking at his way, "yeah? like you know any better?"

"shut up." he started the engine, "this isn't about my love life."

"whatever." you blurt out, "i guess being bad at handling relationship runs in our blood." you jokingly said, as your cousin laugh.

he tilt his head smiling, "damn, of all things that can be passed down, that's what we got."

"well, at least we got good looks. that works as a payoff." he added. you agreed at him with a nod, "anyway." you changed the subject.

"i'm planning on ending it with jake." you stated. he looked at you, "no shit, you sure?" he assured, "to be honest, whatever makes you happy." he added, looking like he wanted to say something but he decided not to.

"don't apologize." you led before he could even say sorry for insisting that you should date his best friend, sim jaeyun.

"i'm not- okay whatever." he almost want to deny the urge but he saw you looking at him with a teasing face, "i just feel a little responsible for all the stress this relationship have caused you." he scratch the back of his head, as you slap his arm.

"shut up, dating him was my decision. you don't have to blame yourself for all the bad decisions i made for myself. i'm an adult now." you told him.

parking his car he nod his head, "okay. just remember i'm here if things are bad, okay?"

"okay." you said, before going out of his car. walking at the corridor of your building, trying to see if jake arrived earlier than you today.

and he certainly did. there he is on his designated seat beside the window, silently watching as the wilted leaves fall down from the tree.

the clock ticks time faster than you expected and your professor came in, not able to call out for jake's name to even talk to him.

sitting down to a chair, you told yourself that you'll talk to him later. and here you are, in front of jake sim at the rooftop of your university's main building.

it might be your lucky day for no one else is here but the two of you. this place is usually cramped with so many people and miraculously today isn't one of those days.

this may be one of the many signs sent from above that this relationship should end as it wasn't right from the beginning.

your blood boils as your cousin sunghoon pushes you into the table of his friend group, "come on! you wouldn't lose anything! he just want to talk to you." he shouts.

"then tell him i don't want to!" you shout back a little annoyed. the last thing you want to do tonight is talk to the famous serial dater, jake sim. "for i know, he just wants the best out of me!"

"come on! jake's not like that!" he defended his friend. to be honest, sunghoon is the last person you should be ranting to. for he is just like his friend, they play with girl's hearts for fun.

you rolled your eyes as you reach the table of ego. the decision of naming that wasn't yours, but the other students. they called this the table of ego because everyone in here got some solid ego. heeseung, jay, sunghoon, jake. all of them.

"y/n! you actually came!" heeseung cheered as soon as he saw you, he scooted a little bit on his right to leave some space between him and jake, "come sit!"

sitting beside him was probably one of the decisions you will forever regret in your life. the memory of that night was a blur. you barely recall anything that happened then.

the only thing that you remember was when jake was reaching for a kiss, you accidentally threw up on him before passing out.

the next day, he told you to be his girlfriend to compensate with the mess you gave his brand new shirt. you said yes just so he could shut up, telling yourself you'll break up with him after a day or two.

two months then passed and you are just breaking everything now. well, it's better late than never. you just didn't expect that he would actually be a good boyfriend.

he's mostly good, not until everything gets complicated even with nothing. you fight over the smallest thing like, not being able to respond to each other's text to someone getting jealous.

it wasn't the best relationship you've been in but it was a good experience. you learned so much and now, it's time to move on.

"what is it that you wanted to say?" jake impatiently snapped you back into reality. you swallowed a good amount of saliva before saying, "let's break up."

it was better to say it forward than beating around the bush. with this, more time and energy will be saved. because even if you give him an explanation he probably won't listen.

he slowly blinked and sighed, looking away he said "okay. if that's what you want." see. he wouldn't even bother asking you why.

well, if you get things easy. they would also go easily, "okay. it was fun meeting you." you head out, leaving him there.

he most probably would not be so upset that he might think of jumping off the building, but you still prayed that he wont.

and he didn't. you can guarantee that as you see that three weeks later jake sim is with a woman walking the same isle as you are. the chances of you seeing him here at this huge mall was small, but never impossible.

you grabbed your friend's hand trying to hide from the sight of the man, "what are you doing-"

"shut up, jake is here." you told here looking at their way, walking into a clothing store. you hurriedly go and sit at a restaurant far from them and ordered food when your friend speak up.

"y/n, what's the point of hiding now when you guys already broke up?" she patheticly looked at you who's trying to hide from a menu list.

putting the menu list down on the table, you crossed your arms, "i am not hiding from him. i simply don't want to involve myself with anything that has to do with him."

"yeah, like seeing him in a shopping mall involves you with him." she said with full sarcasm. "you have no idea how pathetic that sounded."

not listening to anything she said, you started eating your pasta. almost choking when you saw a familliar figure walk in the restaurant.

trying your best to lean down and not get noticed you hear your friend call, "jake!" you kick her feet under the table as you see jake wave back and walks closer.

"what the fuck did you just do?" you whispered at her, she just smiles like an idiot as jake reach your table.

"hello, jia." he greeted your friend, "hi, y'n."

flashing a fake smile, you said "hi." satisfied with how annoyed you are, jia announced "you guys can join us! we got two extra seats here."

"we don't want to intrude-" you cut him off, "yes, there are a lot of vacant tables. they sure can find their own, right?"

serving a glass of wine, a waiter says "oh, we're fully booked, ma'am. so if you want to eat here, you have to wait for another hour or so." he said pouring some on your glass. "if you'll excuse me."

"it would be rude if we don't invite you right? so join!" your friend cheered as the girl jake's with sit next to you.

taking a sip of your wine whenever jake helps the girl cut her steak, you became unaware of how drunk you are. "so, when did you meet jake?" you asked the girl.

to be frank, she was quiet the whole time. just sitting there, not saying a thing but a "thanks." whenever jake helps her with anything.

"you can't answer that? well can you tell me if you are able to use your hands to their purpose? like cutting off a steak or puring your own glass of wine?"

"y/n-" your friend tried to stop you. but you didn't listen. you just continued to blabber nonsense until jake grabbed your wrist to the bathroom.

shaking your hand off his grip you screamed at him asking, "why did you bring me here?!"

"y/n why are you being so rude?" he calmly asked you.

you sarcastically laughed, "i'm being rude? who's more rude when you're out here eating at the same table as your ex-girlfriend and your current girlfriend?"

"current girlfriend- y/n that's my cousin!" he tried to calm himself by breathing slowly, pushing the side of his mouth using his tounge "do you really think i could replace you that fast?"

the sudden question made you feel like someone cut off your tounge. because you mostly have answer for everything but this. his question caught you off guard.

"when you broke up with me, i never asked why. i knew you were tired and i don't want to exhaust you more." you hear his voice shake as he speak. "i was also tired and we both needed a break."

you looked straight at his eyes that are sparkling from moist done by the tears that he have been trying so hard to hold back, "but as time pass by, i felt more and more empty. there is a big mark of you in my heart that ever since you left, no one has ever filled."

"nobody could ever fit in, but you." cupping your face he also wipe your tears away. "i never felt that way before. it's like, for the first time, i had something to lose."

"jake, i-" it was as if you forgot how to compose a word. you never knew he felt the same way you did when you broke up with him.

maybe sunghoon was more of your cousin than he is jake's friend. because if jake only knew how many times you told sunghoon that you miss him, he would've came back faster than this.

he smiled pulling you into a hug, "it's fine if you don't feel the same way anymore. i understand that. but i just want you to know that i am not the douchebag you think i am."

pulling away from the hug, you see his eyes were bloodshot "sorry, the last thing i want to do is make you cry-" you pulled him into a kiss not letting another word out of his mouth.

running out of breath, you seperated his lips from yours. you widely smiled at him, "it’s been you all along."

kissing outside a three star restaurant's restroom isn't as ideal as other comeback stories, but you wouldn't ask for anything else. as long as you have jake in your arms, your heart is content.

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whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst · 3 years ago

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Texts from the Lost Tomb, part 5.1

Good thing I didn’t do something like a story arc with this series, bc that would be…well.

Zhang Chat

Zhang Rishan: Could we speak, Patriarch? It is a family matter.

Zhang Qiling: read 12:18pm

Unnamed chat

Zhang Rishan: Good afternoon. I am writing with regard to a development pertaining to a Zhang family heirloom. Its recent activity has provided some potential insight into a long-standing mystery about our family’s longevity. I would deeply appreciate it if you could have Zhang Qiling contact me at his earliest convenience.

Wu Xie: !!!!!!!!!!!

Wu Xie: sorry, I mean yes, absolutely. Is it at the tea house? Can I come too? We won’t break things this time, I swear.

Zhang Rishan: That would be entirely dependent on whether Zhang Qiling contacts me.

Zhang Chat

Zhang Qiling: …Pangzi has several phrases he uses in addressing persistent telemarketers. I believe the more vivid wordings apply to you today.

Zhang Rishan: I apologize for the somewhat underhanded machinations, but the matter is urgent. How much do you remember about the 1800s?

Zhang Qiling: Nothing. Why?

Men in Black Chat

Zhang Qiling: Has he contacted you?

Hei Yangjing: oh shit whaddup it’s dat xiaoge

in some parts of the world, ya know—people lead into conversations with dumbass small talk and actual context for their demands

i know it’s crazy but like lord what fools these mortals be and shit amirite

How’s bae and the loudmouth

Zhang Qiling: Your descriptor for Pangzi is somewhat hypocritical, I would argue. Wu Xie is well; he had a bad cold last week but has mostly recovered.

The Shakespeare reference is noted and appreciated. Although I personally prefer The Tempest.

Has he contacted you?

Hei Yangjing: omg this is a xiaoge trivia plot twist thx

although tbqfh I figured you’d be more into Romeo and Juliet

lmao get it

…too soon?

Zhang Qiling: Has he contacted you?

Hei Yangjing: sadly, dear A-Xie and I just don’t talk daily the way we did when you were making snowmen for ten years or whatever. don’t be jealous, whats a Wu Xie to do but the other black-clad immortal in town who’s…teaching him stuff;)

The last time I heard from our mutual boo was on one of my birthdays (i tell people different days to maximize consistent presents, got the idea from something in the news)

Zhang Qiling: Your attempt at levity is not humorous in the least. Wu Xie is not interested in you and any attempts you make to express your own interest will be blocked with extreme prejudice.

I was referring to Zhang Rishan. At the start of this conversation, five years ago.

Hei Yangjing: yikes chill tf out jelly bro you know I was joking

Cool your Qilin

hehehe

Admit it tho, we would be hot

Also yikes on the Zhang Rishan front

Lead with that next time tf use ur words

No I never talk to the bitch unless he pays why

Ew what does he want now

Tell him i died, make it tragic

Bonnie and Clyde Chat

Hei Yangjing: psst hey sexy got some big news

Xie Yuchen: Change the chat name.

Hei Yangjing: uhh lemme think no anyway how would ur fine ass like to hear some spicy info for the low low price I just sent?

Xie Yuchen: …This had better be good.

Hei Yangjing: face it ur the rich and rational version of Wu Xie I knew u would be curious

So here’s the 411

Xie Yuchen: The what?

Hei Yangjing: ugh

Youth

W/e

So the sitch is, zhang bois got some special necklace from someone somewhere

That is supposed to make the wearer invulnerable or somesuch

Idek man at this point I’m just accepting it, like sure u have a magical necklace, makes sense

I wonder if the Zhangs are like lotr??

I would totes be gandalf. u can be galadriel in that one HBIC scene.

Except this weirdass family jewelry hasn’t done fuckall for years, shit was broke af

then said necklace started glowing last week like yikes it was lit kinda glowing

Hehe I guess this is its glowup

Get it

Xie Yuchen: So, a mysterious Zhang artifact has suddenly become active.

Hei Yangjing: duh that’s what i said

Xie Yuchen: Is Zhang Qiling involved?

Hei Yangjing: he didn’t wanna be but you know Wu Xie has the Zhang Qiling equivalent of beatlemania and got them involved lol

Qilinmania, i dub it

And so now they are headed to the haus of scalding hot tea

Interested?

Xie Yuchen: Try and stop me.

Hei Yangjing: bitch I’m inviting u to crash the potentially dangerous Zhang drama WITH me

It’s basically a date;)

Xie Yuchen: No, it is not. Pick me up in an hour.

Hei Yangjing: feisty, I love to see it

#whomst #dmbj #dmemebj #ultimate note #pingxie #the lost tomb

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just-savannah · 3 years ago

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I hate life. And you're right I'm so fucked up not a person one is ever gonna give a fuck about me. I do try. But my efforts ain't enough it is what it is. Lost cause baby. Sorry I wasted your time thinking we could be fixed. Maybe you can. I think I was supposed to be at the bottom in this life. With a bright light sometimes. But it's not for me, that light. It's for others and their sense of purpose. In that I guess I have a purpose. Maybe I'm not meant to be loved. Maybe I don't understand but maybe I'm not supposed to. I'll quit tryna figure that one out. It gets me left behind. It gets me too far along. It never gets me where I'm supposed to belong. Chasing a fantasy, chasing things not even real for me yet. I'm too much and I get that and I'm sorry I'm no damm good. I told you you'd see me. Not just in a room , you'd see the ugly I want to beat the fuck out of everyday in me. The ugly I mistreat. The ugly that I don't want that's just inevitably part of me, which is me. Sorry that I couldn't amount up, I thought I had it I thought I had my hands gripped to never let go, but I didn't know holding on to rope that was soaked in gasoline, set on fire before I ever started to hold, would catch up to me.

I'm always left with scars on my hands from hoping suffocating what I grip on won't turn into ashes. Idk why I never figured out that maybe I'm stupid, try something different. Stop touching shit Savannah you're gonna fucking ruin it. Stop insisting that you know a way, or maybe let's try this cuz I think it'll be a successful way, and I am stupid, I kept on failing at the same attempts..

But I think it's because nobody sat down with me long enough to install other ways into my thinking. Nobody knew how to teach me because I'd make ppl lose their patience with my stupid, not understanding this why why that.

Curiosity killed the cat, but persistence because I couldn't let shit go always left my hands feeling too ugly to hold.

My heart is like my eyebrows but no matter what I pull from it it won't go. It's there, just with tiny holes, idek if it bleeds anymore . I just know that when I met you, you shined so bright you lit up the pits that never thought they'd see light and beautiful rays shone through my cracks, my tiny holes, like the sun beating on the cathedral mosaic's. Shining beautiful things into my darker interior, creating beats I'd never known to exist in there.. creating life to something in me that seemed so dead..

I apologize that my emotional state is as deep. I'm sorry that it also created too deep in other aspects that were toxic.

I'm sorry for loving as much because it drowns you. I didn't see I was really holding you down like that.. I guess I was drowning too, not paying attention.. but it's still no excuse I didn't have to pull you under water too, I didn't have to take my pain and try to make you see where I was by shoving so much in your lungs when I always noticed you were hardly breathing.. holding your breath.. needing something to get the weight of me off your chest and I didn't pay attention.

So I guess I'm saying hypothetically when I think I lose everything I love, I may, but I don't let things that I love breathe.. and I should have understood a long time ago that just because my pain and the way I endured shit made me feel like being suffocated was normal .. didn't mean I should scar anyone else the same way, with things unfamiliar or uncomfortable.

I'm sorry for spending more time being afraid to lose you than just loving you for being here.. I just needed you so bad I knew if I let go, you'd run. Run so fast, you'd forget what my ugly hands felt like.. and I knew if that happened you'd never come back .. but I could have been wrong .. maybe youda came, held my scarred up heart and hands anyway.. but I was too afraid of the alternative.. people who brought me darker things than what was already inside of me left me without any sense of explaining, so I thought that if the brightest thing that ever volunteered to crawl inside of me seen all this dark and all this pain.. why would you dare stay? So I suffocated you.. and I lost. And that's only my fault. And for not considering you in so many aspects I am truly sorry. I'm just damaged as fuck, no excuse.. I'm sorry that I chose you to get this close to.. you deserve more stable, more able. You deserve great things . I love you DJ

Something I wrote to my best friend, who's been my person for years and is brighter than any color yellow could try to be..

#imfuckedup #damaged #toxic #stupid #broken #inevitable #toomuch #TooMuchOfAnythingIsBad #iRuinEverythingIGetMyHandsOn #iloveyou #boom #yellow #MeAndYou #OurRelationshipInABox #imsorry #ineededyou #youneededmore

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shattersstar · 4 years ago

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pairing: jason todd x reader

summary: you and jason are f*ck buddies and you decide to get wine drunk while in the bath (inspired by this post)

warnings: semi nsfw (aka no actual smut but y’all do be talking about it..like a lot), drinking, fluff, brief injury mention, friends to lovers vibes

a/n: this is just over 4k and idek how that happened. anyways check out my resources tag before or after reading this and feedback is always appreciated.

—

You appeared in the doorway, hipshot and a bottle of wine hung in one of your hands, fingers clutching the neck. The air was humid even from the entrance to the bathroom, the mirror fogged up and air thick. “Want me to turn on the fan?” You questioned from across the space, socked feet shifting through the threshold ever so slightly. You didn’t give a shit about the fan, not really, not when Jason was sitting in the bathtub a few feet away, naked and warm and he sent you a lazy smile. He shook his head no, chin jutting out in question, nodding towards the wine. “I was gonna get drunk on the couch and pass out here.”

“You aren’t going back to your place?”

“You want me to?” Another shuffle closer, bottle nudging your thigh as you moved.

“Do what you want.” He shrugged, water sloshing around him. You pulled your bottom lip between your teeth, as if debating your options. Of which there were three:

One, go back to your apartment, drink there if you wanted—you would—and deal with the arguing of your roommates who used to date.

Two, crash on his couch like you said and make him make you breakfast tomorrow. It was tempting.

And three, get in the tub with him and see where that takes you.

You knew where you wanted it to go, the same place most of your moments alone (or semi alone) lead too. It had become a steady occurrence for you two to casual fuck, even more so lately as you had been hiding out in Jason’s apartment. Your arguing roommates/exes had no problem dragging you into their fights, no matter what you were doing and often made you sleep on the couch so they could sleep in separate bedrooms. Jason had callously suggested telling them no, as if it was that easy. “It’s their place, and I’m sorta the reason they were sharing a bedroom in the first place.” You’d mutter, excuses falling from your lips until you’d crawl into his lap and apologize for staying over so often. He normally would just sigh and tell you it was fine. Part of him wanted to say more, to tell you he liked having you around, liked sharing his bed with you, liked everything about the crappy situation you found yourself in. But it was selfish and sentiment was always slow to rise through Jason’s chest, and slower to fall from his lips.

You hadn’t realized that a long moment had passed and the moisture in the air was starting to make your clothes stick to you. Your eyes fell back on him, his were closed, arms resting on either side of the tub. You traced his side profile with your gaze, skin shining with water, and the hair around the nape of his neck stuck to his skin as the bubble coated surface crept up his body with even the smallest shift of weight. You looked back to the rosé in your hand, shrugging small before crossing the space, kicking the door closed. It wasn’t for privacy—it wasn’t for anything you supposed. Jason lived alone, how he could afford it, you didn’t ask, and his neighbours were likely far accustomed to the private sounds you two shared that often leaked out from under doors and passed through walls. You blamed the hot body of water now a step away from you for the heat rising to your face.

You set the bottle down next to the tub, his eyes finally opening. The slam of the door didn’t disturb him, but the clink of glass against tile had him watching you. You didn’t say much as you straightened up, pulling off your socks, the shorts you found yourself in falling next. You yanked your t-shirt off, underwear the last thing to join the pile of clothes now dwelling on his bathroom floor. Jason’s eyes roamed over your body with a certain amount of casualness, it wasn’t hungry or flirtatious, it was just him taking you in like he had so many times before.

He still didn’t speak as you carefully dipped your foot into the hot water, finding the bottom of the tub and bringing your other leg over the side. He only bent his legs minimally, knees just poking out from under the water and caging each side of the tub. You didn’t object to the lack of space, you were invading his bath anyways. The water was almost painfully hot, shocking your system as you lowered yourself to sit across from him. The faucet prodded your back as you settled into the space, knees almost pulled to your chest. You let your hands sink next to you for a moment, before you were reaching over the side of the tub, soapy water rolling off your fingers as you plucked the bottle from where it sat. You had drank some of it earlier, sitting on the balcony and chatting idly with Jason. It was before the sun had set and you two had been sitting out there, before watching a documentary for one of your classes. You couldn’t remember how you ended up watching it with him, or why you were drinking beforehand, but all of that seemed far off now.

Far off as condensation rolled down the bottle, sweating in the humidity. You took a long, slow sip, the sweet, somewhat tart liquid slipping out the bottle and down your throat with ease. He was still watching you, head cocked slightly and gears in his brain turning. You could tell when he was reading you, thinking about aspects of you that you may never understand. His gaze was always a little intense, it sometimes made you squirm, and this was one of those moments. You pushed your shoulders back a little and held the bottle out between your two bodies. It was a little heavy, the rosé sagging into the bubbles. Jason breathed out a chuckle and took a sip of his own. He scowled ever so slightly, turning the label to face him and it was your turn to laugh.

“Stop buying cheap wine—it’s shit.” He huffed, although he did take another drink.

“I’ll stop buying cheap wine when I stop being broke.”

“Or I can give you money to buy something that doesn’t taste like depressed grapes.” You laughed again, although it was almost a scoff.

“First of all stop being a baby, this isn’t that bad and second of all I’m not gonna call you up every time I wanna buy liquor.” You explained, making grabby hands towards him. He handed you the wine with an eye roll.

“Why not?”

“What?”

“Half the time you drink it's here and I’m tired of having to drink whatever crappy stuff you buy.”

“I’m sorry my socioeconomic status offends you.” You teased, letting out a yelp when one of his hands wrapped around you shin and tugged your leg. He didn’t pull you under, only shifting you onto your tailbone before dragging your leg along the tile, draping it over his thigh.

“I just meant if you’re gonna get drunk here, drink whatever I have here instead of buying this dollar store shit.” He sighed, watching you grin from around the rim.

“I mean, I’m not one to deny free booze.”

“Of course you aren’t.”

“Hey,” You yanked the outstretched bottle back, pouting at him. “Still don’t appreciate you saying this stuff is shit though.”

“I’ll make it up to you later,” You raised a brow, it worked another eye roll out of him. “You get mouthy when you drink.” He sounded as exasperated as before, although there was a tinge of amusement in his voice. You only snorted, passing the wine to him. You spent some time just passing the bottle back and forth, sometimes talking or sometimes letting the soft sound of the water drift around your bodies. At some point you hadn’t taken the bottle back from him, shifting till your back pressed into the corner of the tub, faucet now jabbing your arm. You tilted your head back, bare chest rising and falling in slower breaths. Jason set the rosé onto the bathroom floor at some point, one of his hands searching under the water for the leg rested against his. Water rolled over his hands as his fingers wrapped around your ankle, giving it a gentle squeeze. Your eyes blinked open, your head looked heavy as you lifted it from against the slick walls.

“Just seeing if you’re awake.” He hummed, noting the way your other leg stretched out over him. You shifted forward slightly, feet planting on otherside of his body as you sank under the surface, back sliding against the tiles and knees bending. Your dunked your body under until your head bumped the bottom, a few seconds passed before you were sitting back up, now in the centre of the tub.

“I am now.” You smiled as water rolled down your face.

“You’re something else.” He declared, strong hands coming to rest on your knees and giving them a gentle pinch. Your eyes dropped to his left hand, a scar trailed from in between his thumb and index finger, curling down towards his wrist. It was long and sinewy, like a vine that staggered across his hand. There were small bruises and other scars one wouldn’t notice at first glance, but you had become accustomed to them. Used to watching his hands as they moved with a catlike sneakiness, always searching, always ready to tease. There had been more than one occasion when your own hand darted out to grasp his wrist without even looking at him. You could be eating at the mall or sitting in his car at a red light and his curious hands were always trailing towards you.

Sometimes you’d swat them away, with an indurated glare. And he’d reply with that stupid smirk, eyes glinting as if to say, do you really want me to stop? Most of the time the answer was no, but you couldn’t always give so easily into him, not when it was so fun not too.

Now though, his hands weren’t wandering, they stayed rested on you, warm and heavy. You liked something about this Jason, the tipsy, relaxed version of him you rarely saw. It was either sex or friends just hanging out, and this felt like something blurring both those lines. It was intimate and naked, but it was friendly and sweet. It made your mind swirl, but that also could be the alcohol slowly burning through your system. Something about all of the thoughts running and tripping over themselves in your head made a giggle bubble pass your lips, earning another squeeze.

“What?” He wondered as your shoulders shook.

“Just thinking about you doing this with other people—couldn’t imagine it.” You laughed, head shaking as he furrowed his brows at you.

“This? As in you inviting yourself—“

“Hey, hey, don’t get mean I meant it nicely.” You leaned forward, pressing a finger to his lips. He finally moved his hands from where they grounded you, slapping it away from his face playfully. “It’s nice that we get to do this—not many people can just sit around in baths with friends.” You explained better.

“But,” He licked his lips, straightened up slightly, as if the words would pull from his throat easier, “Why would you think I’d do it with other people?”

Oh.

You shrugged, “I dunno, guess I didn’t think I was the only person you were…” Suddenly any word to describe what you and Jason were left a bad taste in your mouth, fucking felt too vulgar, sex sounded too direct and making love was definitely not an option. “Doing whatever we're doing with?”

“Fantastic english.”

“Shut up, y’get what I mean.”

He only hummed in response, a look too thoughtful for the daze expression you wore fell over his face.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“Then why’re you looking at me like that?”

“It’s nothing.” You splashed a handful of water at him, letting out a head thrown back, almost shrieking sort of laugh at the unamused expression on his face. “Seriously?”

“C’mon tell me.” You whined, laughter dying down.

“Fine. C’mere,” His voice was all low and caramel—warm and sweet—as he beckoned you to him. You didn’t even hesitate, moving closer and letting him pull you into his lap, knees pressing to the floor of the bath and upper half rising out of the water before he sat you on his thighs. Goosebumps rippled your skin as the air—cooler now—rolled over your skin before you sank back into the water. Your bare chest brushed his, the water flowing between your two bodies and rising as he pulled you close. One of his hands stayed on the side of your thigh, the other trailed up your arm, setting on the side of your neck, thumb coming up to rest on your jaw. Your arms were wrapped around the broad expanse of his shoulders, one of your hands rested on the nape of his neck, fingers toying with the wet hairs there.

“I was thinking that why would I wanna fuck anyone else when I have you?” He admitted, a confessional spoken so casually, that you knew the wine had affected him at least somewhat. Sometimes it was hard to tell, but from the soft touches to tender confessions, it was easy to pinpoint where your rugged and reserved Jason tapered off into a muted version of himself. Like all the parts he kept hidden, too kind for the world he lived in, for the person he had become suddenly seeped out and it made you feel boneless and a little lovesick around him.

“That’s probably because your fucking me every waking minute.” You teased despite the dopey smile you wore, forehead resting on his.

“I’m not right now.”

A beat.

“You could.” Your voice was distant, like you were indifferent about the suggestion, because you were.

“Is that why you didn’t wanna leave?” He was so full of questions you realized as well. It seemed most days he knew what you were going to do before you did it, that he could read you like a book—not that you made it particularly hard anyways. And yet, a little drunk and sleepy underneath you, Jason didn’t seem interested in higher thinking, letting the questions and whatever else fall from his mouth with little care where they landed.

You pulled back a little, watching him, “I mean that’s always a benefit about being here,” You explained, feeling the laugh he let out more than hearing it, “But I dunno, you said it earlier I’m here a lot and there’s like no stressors here.”

“Ah—forgot about your roommates.”

“Yeah, plus I was gonna ask you to make my breakfast if I did get drunk and pass out on the couch like planned.” Your admission was lighthearted, but you felt his hand on your thigh tighten, just slightly.

“I wouldn’t have let you sleep on the couch.” He muttered, the hand on your neck sliding to cradle your jaw, your stomach twisting in the way only he could manage, “Not when you look so good in my bed.”

A chill ran up your spine, leave it to Jason to leave you breathless no matter what state he was in. You let your gaze fall to the space between your bodies, that was until he tilted your chin up and brought your lips to his. He was grinning into the kiss, the hand on your thigh now on the curve of your spine, pressing over so gentle into the wet skin. You let your eyes fall closed as he continued to kiss you, arms wrapping further around him as he brought you closer, the slightest pressure on your back and you shifted against him with ease. Soon your chests were flush, rising and falling in tandem. Jason mumbled something you did quite catch, his arms hugging around your frame, keeping you against him as he sank deeper into the bath, his head coming to rest on the edge and stretching out as best he could in the small space. You rested your head in the crook of his neck, water just at your chin now. His hands splayed on your back, fingers traced idly shapes as you let the tiredness that he pulled you from tug at the corners of your mind again.

You weren’t sure if you had fallen asleep, or just focused on the sound of his breathing and the soft patterns he drew against your skin, but you do remember coming back to reality as he carefully sat back up after some time. He made sure to pull you up with him, maneuvering you with ease. Soon your back was to his chest, his chin resting atop your head and his encircled you once again, hands clasping over yours against your middle. You adjusted yourself against his chest, relaxing your weight into him and detangling the mess of hands that rested in front of you so you could hold one of Jason’s. He obliged easily, his left hand intertwining with yours, his right forearm residing just under your chest and keeping you close, and likely upright. You didn’t mind the contact, the pressure of him against you in the slightest. It was different from what you were used to, and yet you welcomed it all the rest.

Once again you let the edges of your consciousness taper off, fading into something distant and calming. You definitely fell asleep that time, as you rouse when a hand lightly lightly squeezed your chest, his palm sliding from the soft skin to your neck, tilting your head out of the way as his lips moved from the nape of your neck to your shoulder. His tongue slid over the damp skin, biting into it when you nearly dozed back off. “We fell asleep.” He breathed against the side of your neck, kisses peppered there were followed by another softer, lazier bite.

“We?” You groaned, tone groggy.

“Is there anyone else here?” You only shook your head, not aware enough to pick up on the sarcasm. The lips moving against your skin didn’t help either, not when he moved your head to rest on his collarbone, lips finding yours. He wasted no time licking his way past your lips, tongue dragging across yours, exploring the inside of your mouth. He pulled away to twist you in his lap, kissing you hard once again. If you weren’t delirious from sleep, it definitely was because of him now. His tongue swiped the roof of your mouth and ran along the blunt edge of your teeth. The hand he used to adjust you so pilantly to his liking now rested against the column of your throat, flexing when you sighed against his lips. It was breathy and needy and you were too tired and still a little drunk to care.

“Water’s cold.” You found yourself saying as his lips pressed into the corner of your mouth.

“It is.” He agreed, biting into your bottom lip you barely noticed was pouting. “You’re such a tired little thing.”

“Kinda drunk too.”

“I can tell.”

“Ouch.” You were beaming despite your words, blinking up at him, nose judging his jaw. He was warmer than the water which made your bones feel heavy, all the airy suds now vanished. “What time is it?”

“How would I know?” You picked up on his tone then, pulling your brows together until he exhaled a chuckle against the juncture where your neck met your shoulder. He buried his face in there, seeking out warmth as well. “Can you get up?”

“Yeah.”

“Good, c’mon I wanna go to bed.” Despite his words the hand that crossed your body, now fallen to you solar plexus stayed unmoved and he kept breathing you in. You had no objections to staying here, despite the goosebumps riddling your skin and the shiver building in the base of your spine. After a loud inhale, your body rising with the expansion of his broad chest he pulled away from you, ushering you forward slightly. You scrubbed a hand over your face, trying to focus on the task at hand: getting up. You went to gather your legs underneath you, one hand resting on the outer edge of the tub when Jason rose from behind you. Water dripped off his body and fell onto you as you dumbly sat in the bath water. “Why’d you say you could get up?” He asked, wrapping a towel around his waist before moving back to you.

You frowned up at him, “I can.”

“Then why haven’t you?”

“It’s been like four seconds!” You exclaimed, only earning a click of his tongue before he bent over to haul you out of the water. You stepped over the side with ease, his strong hands gripping the sides of your arm, one coming to wrap around the curve of your elbow as you stood up straight. Once you were steady enough he passed you a towel, which you quickly pulled around your body. You let a shudder wrack your body, and without much of a word he was pulling you against him. You greedily obliged, hands wrapped around his frame, fingers spread on his naked back. “What did you say earlier?”

“I said a lot of things, whic—“

“Something about me drinking.”

“That you get mouthy?”

“Yeah, yeah that. Y’know what you get?” You looked up at him, chin resting on his chest.

“What?”

“Touchy.”

“Touchy?” He echoed.

“Yeah, I mean you kinda always are, but s’not like this.” He didn’t respond, eyes drifting from your face. Maybe you got intuitive when you were drunk too. “I like this though.”

“You do?”

“Mmhm, s’nice.” Your words blended together as you let Jason lean over and press a kiss to your forehead. You let yours eyes fall closed, resting most of your weight against him.

“Hey you better not fall asleep, I’m not carrying you to bed.”

“Ever the romantic.” You pulled yourself from him, about to turn around and gather your clothes from the floor, but Jason’s hand wrapped around yours and was tugging you out of the bathroom. “Wait—m’clothes—“

“Leave them.” He called over his shoulder, leading you towards his bedroom and softly pushing you to sit on his bed. He left you for a moment, heading to drain the bath you supposed. After a moment he passed by the bedroom door, wine bottle in hand. You could hear the sound of it hitting the recycling bin before he reappeared. Jason looked a little unimpressed when he found you still sitting there. “You can get in bed y’know.”

“And sleep in a wet towel?”

“Or in nothing.” He shrugged, your ears suddenly hot as he stood between your legs, both hands cupping your face. “Don’t wanna have to work to fuck you in the morning.”

You opened and closed your mouth twice before nodding at his words, “Should’ve led with that.”

“Duly noted, now go to sleep.” He kissed you again, lips pressing firm to yours. You and Jason weren’t really the kissing type, sure you’d make out with him on occasion, but it felt too intimate for what you two had become. It was more of an unspoken rule, and it sometimes happened, but never outside the confines of sex. And he was promising to fuck you come morning, but now wasn’t morning and he was kissing you—another side effect from the rosé, you distantly assumed—and it felt right.

He pulled away when your head started to lull back, as if it was too heavy for your neck to support. You let him untuck the towel and slip it from your body. Parts of you were still damp from the bath, but you didn’t care as you slipped under his duvet, hauling it to your ears and sinking into one of his pillows. You were sure you were asleep before you finished rolling onto your side, the heavy fog of exhaustion, liquor and a calm night lulling you to sleep. You didn’t even rouse as Jason joined you, thumb brushing away a stray droplet that drifted from your hairline down your cheek bone. He kissed your forehead once again, letting the rarity of an easy sleep wash over him as well.

#teehee wine drunk jason is here #i hope yall like it 🙈🙈#also i was listening to father john misty when i wrote this...can u tell #jason todd x reader #jason todd imagine #red hood x reader #red hood imagine #dc x reader #dc imagine #writing

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shawoluvs · 3 years ago

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~check in tag~ I was tagged by the lovely @anyhao, and this is super cute so thank you~~

why did you choose your url? I chose my url because I am a Shawol and a Reveluv! At the time I'd been through several urls based on eras/songs and they only worked for a short while so I wanted something more permanent and SHINee are my ults while Red Velvet is the first girl group I really started following so here we go~ I actually have a list of other fandom combo names for urls though just in case~

do you have any sideblogs? I do indeed because I am one of those people who has to divide my interests in order to not get overwhelmed by them~ I have a general multifandom/literature/personal blog @lonesplendour and an anime/manga blog @kimitokara~

how long have you been on tumblr? A long time, like maybe 10 years???? I really got into tumblr when I was in my early teens 'cause other social media (idek if I count tumblr as social media pffttt) just wasn't cutting it. I've been on like all sides of tumblr at this point like rpgs, chaotic mess blogs, book blogging etc. etc. But most of those blogs no longer exist. Only one of them kinda does and I've not been able to access it for literally years 'cause I canny get into the email it's attached too and my 100000000000 attempts to get tumblr to help me out with it (like I literally once asked them to just like shut it down if I couldn't access it but no luck there) has just never worked so... that's fun...

do you have a queue tag? Nope~

why did you start your blog in the first place? As much as tumblr can be a mess I do really like it as a platform for seeing great content for my interests so basically when the blog mentioned above was no longer accessible (it's so maddening too like I just can't remember the password and I can't set a new one 'cause it's an old email I also can't access?????) I decided to make this one anndddd for a while this was a similar like multifandom, anything goes blog, but then I divided up after a while.

why did you choose this profile picture? I wanted a profile picture that related to my url and in my head it was so cute 'cause I was going to have this whole colour scheme like SHINee themed and have a header and icon that matched and then after hours of trying to make all these things I got tired and was just like "yes this version will do" and there we have it~~~ Like I don't hate my icon (my girls with SHINee lightsticks, what's not to love???) but it's just not... edited well... at all ejhrgbejrge but sometimes there's a vision and sometimes you create it and other times you sail right past it and wonder how you lost yourself on this other thing but no longer have the patience to try again so you settle for where you ended up and that's my icon right there.

why did you choose this header? ^same as above.

whats your post with the most notes? I went to check and it's this one. Which really just proves people are thirsty for Taemin.

how many mutuals do you have? Imma count. 96 on this blog specifically! Which is quite a lot actually, that's really nice~

how many followers do you have? 405 on this blog~

how many people do you follow? 266 pfffttt which honestly makes my mutual number even nicer 'cause it means like 1/3 of the people I follow are my mutuals~

have you ever made a shitpost? Tons. Strange of you to think I make much of anything else, honestly.

how often do you use tumblr? Pretty much daily. I don't necessarily actively reblog and post original content daily but I tend to do a daily check in of sorts~

have you ever had an argument or a fight with another blog? Not really though anons have tried to pick fights with me particularly on my anime blog, it's not something I really take seriously, it was generally ship drama and was so random like... good times honestly

how do you feel about “you have to reblog this” posts? someone telling me I have to reblog something immediately puts me off honestly, I know that's childish or whatever but like if it's important or something I like/care about I'll reblog it without the guilt so...

do you like tag games? Yesssssss~~~ so again, thank you for this tag~

do you like ask games? I do! I think ask games can be very cute but I don't do them that often, mainly 'cause I get embarrassed if I don't get any asks from it but equally if someone I follow is doing one I'm like "I can't send them an ask, that's so embarrassing!!!" so in other words, yes I do but also I am terrible at the whole concept

which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? I'm not sure how to measure tumblr fame, like is that by followers or...... cause honestly quite a few of my mutuals seem to have a lot of followers (as they should, they're lovely) but I also just don't know, I don't tend to ask them or know that about them because I don't care??? The whole followers thing isn't a big deal to me... notes on content on the other hand hahaha likeeeeeeeeee support content creators thanking you

do you have any crushes on any mutuals? No??? I mean ejhrbgjee I don't really know most of my mutuals very well (honestly 96 is nice but also like 96 people ejhgbjerge that's a lot for my anxiety to process, I've barely said two words to most of them, seriously I'm so sorry, it's not you it's me, you're all great) but also in general I've not had a genuine crush on anyone in........................................ years? so... fun times

I'm going to tag a few of my lovely mutuals, though obviously not all of them 'cause ejhrgbjere that's a lot, but anyway pls participate if you like and apologies again for probably never having even said hi to you~ @userseokkie, @lilbubtaemin, @eternallys, @joshriku, @babyseulgii, @fourseascns, @atinyhater, @ncityzen, @haechsan, @solaarflaree

#[ tagged ]#I'm sorry this is long #I'm not sorry for the colours they're great although some of this beta stuff does not sit right with me #as in I hate change and not even pretty colours can warm me to it #but anyway I hope you're all well and I'm sorry these tag things are the only time I interact with most of you ejrgbjhergbege #it's not you it's me... I just need some time to be on my own... you're great and you'll find someone who'll really appreciate you one day #I couldn't help myself it sounds like we're breaking up #also just noticed I did two orange answers in a row so editing that now hahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaa i swear

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meetmeatthecoda · 3 years ago

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Hi Coda, how are you doing?

So the other day, I was just about to fall asleep when I remember something from TBL.

Do you remember the painting sent to Red in “Drexel”? The painting of Elizabeth standing over Red’s grave? And she looks like she’s turning into dust, or something (I don’t know how to interpret her hand)?

Red asked the broker guy “Where’s Rostova?” and they mentioned a “she”.

So my question is, do you think it was Katarina/Tetiana (I don’t remember how to write her name) who sent it? I mean, Elizabeth’s search about her mother wasn’t really intense, then, if I remember correctly. And why would she send it to him?

Thank you for your time and sorry for the long text.

Hi there, dear anon, I'm well, thank you so much for asking!! 🤗 How are you?? I hope you're doing fantastic ❤️ In regards to your ask, I DO remember that painting - but only since you mentioned it. I confess to completely forgetting about it up until now 😂 But you're asking some great questions & making some great points!! Tbh, I think this is just yet another thing to disprove the Helltheory. If R*darina were true, how tf could Katarina send the painting to Red? And if it was the imposter!Katarina (sidenote: I can't even properly express how fucking exhausted I am with all the imposter bullshit/familial wheel of fortune crap on this stupid show, like... aren't y'all tired??? jfc anyway) whose name is Tatiana, I believe?? That doesn't check out either bc Red knew she was in Paris didn't he?? Or at least he did shortly after that?? So why would he be asking where she was?? Wasn't he supposed to know bc that was the whole point of him protecting her in hiding or something?? And I think you're right, anon, I don't remember what season this one-appearance painting was in, especially in relation to imposter!Katarina's first appearance & Liz's Mad Mother Revenge Hunt 2020, but I def don't think it was in the same arc?? Soooooo wtf??? And yes, the "why" of it all is a big ??? too (especially given that they never addressed it again lolz) bc even if it was imposter!Katarina being pissed about the archive or whatever (??? wtf idek) what does that have to do with taunting Red about Liz being his death?? Especially when that didn't even end up coming true lmfaooooo Idk, anon, you make a great point in bringing it up again!! But I can't make any sense of it, at least not at this late/early hour lmfao I think it's just yet another casualty/proof of the retcon of R*darina IF they even end up going with that next season... not that I'll be around for it either way. Buttttttt it's a shit show so 🙃 I'm sorry for the rambling & nonsensical answer, anon, I've unfortunately never been much good at making sense of this show LOL but thank you so much for this ask!! (And don't apologize for the length!! 😊) I invite any other frustrated Lizzington shippers to chime in here in case I'm just a big idiot (likely) & we'll see if we can come to a better consensus, but in the meantime - thanks again & much, much love to you, dear anon!! ❤️

#The Blacklist #Lizzington #thoughts #theories #speculation #mine #ask #anon #god i forgot about this fucking painting #just like tptb i guess #lmfao #wow so sad #ughhhhhhhhh #thank you anon!!#anyone else please feel free to chime in!!#much love y'all!!#<3

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fanmoose12 · 4 years ago

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I am not over it. I am SO not over IT. I read the SNK manga YEARS ago when it was only chapter 100 and one day I had the dumb idea to continue that shit. I am not PLEASED and Hanji's death UTTERLY WRECKED ME, someone who wasn't even a Hanji Stan!! reading the manga made me fall in love with her quiet determination, leadership skills, and sense of duty when before I was more of an Armin type of girl? She just. won me over. and her death was NOT OKAY. I CRIED while saying no no nO NOOO OH MY GOD -

and it TORE ME APART and she was the only person in my mind ever since and I couldn't read the manga in the same nonchalant way ever again. i'm sorry i promise im getting somewhere! it legit ruined my moods and made me so sad all the time IT WAS THAT BAD and i started hating eren with absolute passion. Idek where to start? How her death was pointless & nobody gave a fuck?? and Levi thought of FRICKING ERWIN instead of Hans & I wasnt even a Levihan shipper it doesnt make SENSE! He just LOST HANS

-- and all he can think about is FUCKING ERWIN. come on MAN, and she parented the 104th even REINER had more emotions than these mfers. Everyone is alive EXCEPT HER, like onyakapon and even yelena, minor characters, it just feels so UNFAIR, i'm not mad abt death, i breathe angst like it was chocolate it was just so pointless and meaningless and no one even grieves, especially Levi who was closest to her. there was just no room for her in the plot anymore and thats what makes me pissed -

- not bc it was her time, but bc she ran out of uses to the plot and like in GOT where the character is smarter than the author. not only that, she was made so powerless and pathetic and she felt so useless and she died like that. where's the justice? the character arc? right she was there Just to Save Levi :// it's like that quote from gone girl - "the world will know that [man] threw his beloved wife like garbage, and she floated past down all the other abused, unwanted, INCONVENIENT, women"

(sorry for the fem pronouns, i'm all abt anime hange here). and its not like she wasnt a fan favorite, she's top 3 of the last character poll. just bc shes not levi and eren and armin. and cmon. yams had to nerf and minus 100 out of her iq for the INSANE plan of fucking zeke and the yeagerists, can you BELIEVE she trusted and was OUTSMARTED by ZEKE, who legit massacred the survey corps, even though SHE HAD THE SAME LEVEL OF IQ?? but noooo, plot reasons!! shes not eRwIn, what you expect 🙃

im upset, not bc my fav character died but bc it was meaningless (if falco can fly, why tf didnt he do that in the first place) and hollow in logic and in emotion. maybe snk's lesson to us is life is unfair and we should suck it up. it wasn't well earned & yams wrote hanji in a corner, like (again) in GOT where no matter what daenerys chose she was wrong. sorry i dumped all this to you!! if you're still here, thank you for listening to my month long pent up emotions, im still really sad about it

- and idk how to let go? but your writings have definitely made me feel better, it just comforts me like Levi to a bottle of bleach. thank you for still writing!!! about an anime girl in a fictional world and still delivering more emotion than the original author. my heart definitely feels better these days, though it still aches bc she deserves so much better & didnt deserve whatever the fuck she was given, thank you for championing hanji zoe rights! im 99% sure she wont be revived -

but she lives on in your writings and other fanfiction authors and artworks and i'm just so grateful we have a community like this, honestly im just glad you're here :) keep doing what you do and i hope you're safe and warm & healthy!! also to every hanji stans out there one fucking day when we love a character the author wont rip our hearts and throw it to the garbage, im so so sorry for my long long ask but if i could request maybe eren apologizing to hanji inpaths or when she got captured or

or when she died or you choose!! i saw this art by @siroyuki 2015 in twitter where he's hugging her and shit, you should check it out it gave me feels!! i just want her to be loved and appreciated :((( again thank you so much if you made it this far! im sorry if you're annoyed or smthn HHAHAHA i promise this is the last! thank you for your service to humanity we stan 💪😩👌💕💞

ah don’t you let canon frustrate you, it doesn’t matter anyway :D like you saud, we still have fics and fanarts

however, yeah, i do kinda feel you :/ like the way yams keeps glossing over hange's death is actually a bit weird? like i know they're at war and i know that they have no time for grieving etc but the kids were literally bawling their eyes when hange died but no mention of her sacrifice at all after that? like in 136, gabi said that they should stop the rumbling to repay azumabito's kindness and that's ummmmmmm.... a little bit weird. sure, gabi is a little girl with no connection to hange but reiner, jean and connie were there, when gabi said that and they saw hange’s sacrifice, so why not say something like “yeah, we can’t let commander hange’s sacrifice go to waste?” like come on. what did azumabito do? let falco transform on the board of her ship, so now she travels on a boat? i don't think that can compare to hange's acts though. she literally brought these mfs who were ready to jump at each other's throat together and then she sacrificed her own life to give them yet another chance at success. a sacrifice that was proved to be utterly meaningless in the very next chapter? why did falco learn about his ability to fly only after hange died? why didn't he discover it upon first transformation? :/

oh, and speaking of hange's character arc? like i get it, she was depressed, she struggled with her role as a commander (even though she did everything she could and she did a damn good job at it). and i guess that this plotline was kinda resolved when she heard that erwin approved of her actions? and that's cool, if what we've seen was actually an afterlife and not hange's hallucination. because if it was indeed a product of her mind then that's, um, kinda depressing bro. hange was so desperate for someone's approval that she dreamed about it while literally dying. i just don't understand why yams didn't include a scene where kids tell her how much they respect her and what an honor it was to serve under her command or SOMETHING. but as it is, hange died, thinking she was weak and useless and, um, yeah, certainly not the end you want for your favorite character :)

so yeah, hange's death was kinda meaningless and pointless - it didn't serve the plot whatsoever + it could have been very easily avoided

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letteredlettered · 4 years ago

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hi! ive been following your writing for a few years now and i drop by periodically to check if you have anything new posted, and im really surprised that you seem to be enjoying the untamed? im curious what you think about the show - its story and characters, the acting, the production, etc. idk if you know, but the untamed is the most successful example of a current trend in chinese entertainment, where popular online novels centered around a gay romance is adapted into a 'safe' drama.

continued:

due to the many explicit and implicit restrictions imposed on creative media in china, many crucial plot points have to be changed (often badly) or removed, including the nature of the relationship between the main characters. the untamed is considered the most loyal adaptation so far, but like all other works in the genre, it received criticism for weak acting and queerbaiting. that's why im really curious about what you think of the show as it is, as itself, free from its context.

if you're interested, you could also check out guardian! it features much better performance and chemistry by the leads imo, but the story was heavily botched bc the original incorporates and reinvents a lot of classic chinese folklore beautifully and stuff like that is considered disrespectful and not-pc. i think it's really sad how so many great pieces of writing with complex world-building and plotlines are simplified into... idek what to call them, but just, less than what they are.

im sorry this turned into a rant. as a mainland chinese person with oh so many frustrations about our current society, it's hard to comprehensively describe my feelings about the untamed's popularity. it's the first mainland chinese show/movie to gain this much organic interest abroad so i should be glad? but, but. anyway, yes, im sorry.

There’s no need to apologize for ranting, but I admit to some confusion as to whether you want your question addressed or the rant. Because I’m me and tend to be thorough, I’ll address everything, in reverse order.

First of all, I’m sorry that this show is sad to you. I’m sorry that the popularity of it is difficult. I’m also deeply sympathetic to your frustrations about your society, as I too am deeply frustrated by my own.

Secondly, yes, I’m aware of the context of The Untamed. I’m aware that the book it’s based on is a BL novel, and that, in order to align with Chinese politics, overt queerness was erased from the adaptation. I’m aware of the censure laws of gay media in China. I’m also aware that some aspects of necromancy and morality were adjusted to make the show more palatable for general audiences, but I’m fuzzier on those details. Lastly, I’m aware that the popularity of the show calls attention to certain things, such as fanfic, and that attention results in more censorship,

The fact of this erasure and this censure provokes a lot of questions: by consuming this product, which contains erasure and censure, do we engage in the erasure and censure? By posting gifs and writing fanfic and talking about this product, do we increase its popularity, thereby encouraging additional erasure and censure? By increasing the popularity of this product, do we diminish the popularity of the original gay morally gray canon, thereby decreasing representation? Do we discourage other authors in China from writing explicitly gay morally gray material? In short, are we allowed to enjoy this media?

I don’t know the answer to these questions. However, I do know that boycott is a very effective tool when it can inflict economic pain on the producer, or when it can exert pressure on an entity to change. That said, I feel like a lot of the calls to boycott certain media these days are a lot like telling people to stop driving their cars to stop climate change: it’s suggesting that individuals can solve the problem, which presupposes individuals are the problem, and therefore fails to address the scope of the problem, or present the possibility of a real solution. Not watching The Untamed isn’t going to change laws about portrayals of homosexuality onscreen in China, partly because the laws in China are a much bigger problem.

The other part of it is that The Untamed is coded queer, so if you run a successful boycott against it, you end up with . . . less queer TV. I know a whole lot less about China than I do about the Hays Code, but if you had told gay people during the Golden Age of Hollywood that they couldn’t enjoy movies that were coded queer because they weren’t explicitly queer, they’d have said you were crazy. In fact, many people will tell you that media that was coded queer was a big reason we got more explicit queer stuff later. And as I’m sure you’re aware, the US is still fighting that battle . . . partly because it wants to sell movies to China.

So then there’s a question about whether me, an American in the US, liking something coded queer from China but not explicitly queer--does that encourage Chinese censorship? Should I only support texts that are explicitly queer? But the answer is the same--it’s not addressing the scope of the problem, and by supporting texts that are coded queer, you could be paving the way in the future for something brighter.

But you weren’t talking about boycott! You were talking about your discomfort with the popularity with this show, which I accept. I understand feeling uncomfortable. I can only hope it makes you a bit more comfortable to know that plenty of fans are deeply aware of the context and do wrestle with the question of what liking this show means in the context of a society that would never allow aspects of the original to be portrayed onscreen.

Thirdly, I’m not against trying Guardian at some point, but by comparing the acting and chemistry of the leads to The Untamed, I feel like you prove our tastes are very different in these regards. I love the acting of the leads in The Untamed; I found their chemistry off the charts. It’s okay you don’t feel the same.

Lastly, you asked my opinion of The Untamed: its story and characters, the acting, the production, sans context of the canon upon which its based and censorship laws in China.

a. I love the overall story, but the plot has deep plot holes. Quite a few segments do not actually make sense to me, because the plot is so haywire. However, I’ve never cared that much about plot, except when it gets in the way of characters and themes, and for the most part, this plot serves its characters and themes, except when the parts they leave out are so confusing that I cannot follow the story. As for the story, it feels like it’s built for me, because ultimately it’s about moral decisions and how to make them; it’s about guilt and paying for mistakes; it’s about learning, changing your mind, and remaking yourself. Really, I’m not sure there are many stories I love more--except they killed my favorite character, and I almost quit. So, that certainly put a damper on things.

b. I love the characters most of all, although the villains are really two-dimensional. However, large parts of the plot are not Hero vs Villain, they’re Hero vs Society, and then some Hero vs Himself in a way that suggests the Hero is no longer a hero. I could talk about the characters forever, but suffice it to say I think they’re really strong. Also, the relationships are really exquisite, particularly when it comes to family dynamics. Unfortunately, they killed my favorite character off. Also unfortunately, there are six women in this show, only two of them are main characters, and every single one of them dies. It disgusts me.

c. I think the two leads are exceptional, in particular Xiao Zhan . . . when he’s not being too broad, which he is quite a bit. However, I do wonder how much of this is direction and production style, because in many instances, he’s quite subtle, and the choices he makes are astounding. Then there are times where it’s like they needed more footage, or wanted to drive home a point, and he turns on the extra, and it’s awful. It could just be him, but I actually feel it’s the case with most of the actors, which does make me think it’s a directing issue. Meng Ziyi never really has that problem though, because she is the most perfect of all. But then take He Peng, who I actually thought could be incredible, but every scene was just SO BROAD that I began to feel sorry for the poor dude having to act that part. But there is nothing to be said for Wang Zhuo Cheng, who really is just terrible, which is sad, because it’s a great part.

d. Production-wise, it’s really hit and miss. So much of the locations are truly beautiful. A lot of the costumes are too, unless the shot is too close. I actually don’t mind the wigs; I love the long hair. The CGI is terrible. And then while a lot of the shots are beautiful, some of them are awkward, and the pacing is really difficult, imo. It really seems like they wanted to drag it out, and there are so, so many scenes where I’m sort of embarrassed that we’re in the same scene or that we’re still looking at someone’s face, or that everyone is just standing there waiting for the shot to finally end.

I will say that film is a language that does differ from culture to culture. It could be that both the broadness of the acting and the awkwardness of the editing are my cultural lens based on American and a lot of western film. When I watched older Hollywood films, the acting is a lot more broad and maybe a little less “true” feeling, but I understand that it’s not the case everyone in the past was a bad actor. It was just a different style, so I’m not sure I’m equipped with the cultural knowledge of Chinese acting, cinematography, and editing to be able to really judge the value of these things.

I do know how I feel, which is that the editing is the biggest hurdle for me while watching the show. However, I feel that the beauty of it makes up for a lot, and the strength of the characters and themes really carries it.

I hope I addressed your points adequately, and I wish you well.

#Anonymous #the untamed #china

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shorkbrian · 4 years ago

Text

ASKS

Hello again, asks are compiled under the cut. Please block the tag #shorkbrian answers a lot of asks# If you’d prefer not to see these types of posts from me. If I haven’t answered your ask, it’s because I’m saving it for a thirst, drabble, or fic.

I don’t ignore asks, but sometimes getting around to them overwhelms me lol. pls accept my apologies lol k here we go

I am very glad, I legit was so scared that it was too long and that it’d be disappointing bc the smut wasn’t super IN YOUR FACE yknow? But man am I glad to hear that.

I’m looking directly @ you

Someone noticed omg!!! A lot of times I just put whatever song I played on repeat while writing that fit, but I have a *yandere* playlist that I listen to and it gets me going. Ty for noticing!!!

I’ve considered opening them permanently but I just... idek. I’d have to start deleting or ignoring the requests I don’t vibe with and Idk how to handle that lol. But thanks for the well wishes, hope your next few months treat you well friend!

Watermelon sugar why

Srsly you’re sweet but just wait until I start to really get going with all my nasty kinks okay, then you’ll be rethinking this strategy hunty lol!

I literally stalk @.vermiliren and @.kazooli and @.seita lol. Maybe when I get my blog more cleaned up, I’ll create a list of creators that I enjoy, along with fic recs. For now, here’s a link to my AO3 bookmarks which I read one like almost every single night bc I’m a horny gremlin.

I am the shark king. Sharks are my thing bro u don’t even know. I love them so much, they're dumb and big and beautiful and yeah I wish I was a mermaid who got to swim with them. Also I changed it bc I’m trying to make my blog more *professional* and all that so I can start being taken seriously askjakjdf

Compliments suck, if I'm being down and out honest. This does not bother me at all, I’m just unsure how to respond. I think I would prefer no comments, but I’m trying really really hard to just say “thank you!” and move on before I get uncomfortable. Having to fight with someone about how I perceive my self worth is exhausting, and especially so for the poor person that was just trying to say something nice and be nice to me.

They do make me quite uncomfortable my dear lad/lassie/lasso. Say what you wish in the tags tho ! I don’t really reply to those, so there’s no pressure on me to have to say something back. I do however, see all the tags ppl use and some of them make me laugh so hard cause they’re so spot on, and it makes my day. like “Mark me down as scared AND horny” and “Bakugou better be able to bench 165 cause imma throw my fatass in his mf lap” and it kills me.

I SCEREAMED AKDHGSYDGASJSD this is the only format I'll be taking asks in now, no compliments just a yes/no answer to if my works help u cum god bless

you used the /gen!!!!! IDK what these are called but the /S and /gen and /J save my life!!!!

Frick you’ve figured me out, I do try to put like a nail-in-the-coffin sentence at the end. A lot of times it never works right, but I cannot for the life of my figure out how to end a single post ever. If anyone knows hmu pls ty

(Also ps I checked out ur blog cause yans are my jam and it is very much Not garbage!!)

That’s very kind of you, but pls don’t stay up past midnight it’s bad for ur Brian you’ll make bad decisions bro trust me all of my stuff is written after midnight

You will lafff..... but I will tell anyways..... I was prescribed a “life coach” after I got out of the hospital, which was really just a poorly disguised softcore “make sure u don’t yeet urself” type of thing. He had me write down things I liked about myself, and when I returned the sheet of paper still blank, he wrote stuff down for me. Like five sentences of “My hair and skin are unique and special” “I like animals and enjoy being kind to them” “I am worthy of respect” etc etc. and I had to look in a mirror twice a day and say those sentences to help “boost my self worth”. It sucked so bad dude, and I like got upset about it every time it came up, until finally my therapist was like “... this aint doin this sad bitch no good” and my parents got designated for yeet watch instead.

I know, logically, that (the majority of) people are not purposefully taking time out of their day to make me feel bad. They're trying to be encouraging and loving, and I appreciate it so much. But like... what do I say? If I say thanks, it’s almost like acknowledging what they're saying as true, and I can’t live with myself thinking I’m more than I am. I’m sorry you’ve had experiences that make compliments difficult for you also, I understand bro and I hope that your future holds healing and peace for you.

Hopefully I won’t vent as much anymore lol, I’ll try to do that on my sideblog where I reblog really trigger-y memes akjdafhkjf. But thank you for your kind words bro, they’re appreciated and put in a nice lil jar.

Ah dw! This doesn’t sound like a jab. I think all of us r so sad n depressed and feel unworthy of love, so the fantasy of a Yan coming and forcing it on us and not leaving even when we lash out is just..... so attractive my heads gonna explode

me, thinking about kiri at any given moment like:

I have the next Hybrid! Kiri fic like lined up, but I’m so demotivated be I was SO CLOSE to finishing, and then wiped my computer like an IDITO

Waso, I’m taking horseback riding lessons bc my mom went:

and my grandpa told me that one of his horses was named Awaso and I immediately thot of u fun fact. But you’re so very kind, and I enjoy seeing you in my inbox. I’m never tired of u homie. You are loved and important, and it’s not an illusion. Even random strangers on the internet can feel soft towards you bro, and dats me, I’m the random stranger that likes u.

So I took Russian for a year, my dear friend, because I wanted to see if the language myth of “Russian is the hardest, Korean is the easiest” was true. I would say yes. So instead of like translating this and typing out a coherent response, I’ve resorted to google translate I’m so sorry but Виктор мог плюнуть мне в глаз, и я бы поблагодарил его. Also, the way Vitya is written in cryllic makes my heart swell it looks so cozy idek what I mean by that but it does? I treasure you man, hope to see you around in the new year and maybe??? we be good friends

Can any year be good when Kirishima Eijirou doesn’t exist?

cryface;;sad.jpg

I just imagine anyone who comes across my stuff, sitting at their computer shocked and slightly horrified, maybe turned on like

Daddy Aizawa makes me

Wait!! I have something to aid your troubles!!

ur welcome now u can be horny whenever you’d like

pls every time we talk about Kirishima I have to act surprised like

LISTEN BBYGORL I have had therapist Suga in the works since *checks notes* November. I am excited for it yeahhhhhh but sadly, I don’t think I will be continuing piano teacher Suga. The story is petered out in my mind, idk where it would go. Therapist sugarbird tho? We have some thots about this. Coming soon to theaters near you

#shorkbrian answers a lot of asks #pls block that tag if you don't want to see these kinds of posts #inbox was getting fulll #tysvm for continuing to support me

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