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I’VE ALWAYS LOVED THE WAY YOU EAT ; SUGURU GETO
synopsis; suguru is a morning person. he likes the serenity of it all; the quiet of the early hours, the expensive feel of his coffee pot. more than anything, he likes bringing you breakfast in bed.
word count; 4.9k
contents; suguru geto/reader, gn!reader, just comfy morning vibes, fluff fluff fluff!!, suguru being a good soon-to-be husband, lots of petnames, reader is whipped (and so am i) but suguru is even worse, i need him biblically.
a/n; this is my personal essay on why suguru geto is the perfect man and wife. bon appetit !!
something smells good.
as your eyelids flutter open, and you gradually slip out of sleep’s fuzzy embrace, you are engulfed by that one thought. that one sensation.
there’s a sweet fragrance in the air, an unnamed something you can’t place. a force of love.
soft sunrays flit in through the haphazardly closed window blinds of your bedroom, cascading across the floorboards and bouncing off the walls. splotches of sunshine envelop you in a hazy kind of glow; gentle and coaxing, stirring you awake. it feels good on your skin.
indulging in a few more slow blinks, you shift to lie on your back, halfheartedly attempting to chase the sleepiness away. tangled up in silken sheets and fluffy blankets, you stare at the ceiling — but even such a mundane task feels so nice. just wallowing in the tantalizing scent drifting through the bedroom, the flurry of little kisses that the sun smothers you with.
it’s still early, and you’re still sleepy. outside the walls of your apartment, the sun is rising to its feet, dyeing the world in warm colours; violets and blues melting into pinks and oranges, like an egg cracked open on the canvas of the sky. everything is quiet, not a sound to be heard except for the very distant chirping of cicadas from the trees outside your window. utter peace. like time isn’t even passing.
in the midst of such a precious moment, all you want is to laze around. it’s just that kind of pleasant, mellow morning; the kind that makes you wish the sun would never fully rise.
a satisfied little sigh slips from your lips. content to soak in the heavenly feeling until it passes, your eyes flutter shut — you’re just so sleepy, and the sun just feels so warm. soothing you, making it even harder to stay awake, cradling you in its hazy embrace. sunlit and saccharine.
with the morning fatigue clouding your senses, you don’t even notice the other presence in the room.
suguru smiles, from his spot by the door — leaning against the wall and gazing at your relaxed expression, an immense fondness reflected in his eyes. taking a moment to silently admire you.
you look so content. tangled up in blankets and pillows, with your limbs outstretched and starfished across the mattress. your hair is a little messy, and you’re drooling just a smidge, wearing his shirt; it’s a couple sizes too big for you, slipping off your shoulder and exposing your sunkissed skin. as suguru’s eyes trail over your features, the fond smile on his face only grows, shifting into something honeyed and giddy.
you’re perfect, he thinks. absolutely perfect.
a moment passes. then another. suguru continues to stare, as if trying to etch the image of you into his memory. trying to prolong the moment for as long as he can.
until, finally, he’s had his fill. simply admiring you from afar isn’t enough — he needs to see you up close, needs to hear the sleepy little tilt of your voice. so he opts to make his presence known, voice gravelly and sweet, echoing softly throughout the room.
“good morning, sweetheart.”
softly, your eyes flicker open. the familiar voice sends a tremor of something running through your chest — and suddenly, it feels as if some of the sleep clinging to your skin has been washed away. it’s a little easier to make yourself move, shifting to your side to get a better look at the source of the sound.
and the warmth that blossoms in your chest when your eyes meet suguru’s is almost overwhelming.
(god, he’s pretty.)
suguru looks perfect, in the morning. he looks like the rest of your life. hair a little messy, tied up into a lazy half-done bun, silky black strands cascading down his neck. and wearing a pair of comfy sweatpants that hang a little low on his hips, but no shirt — showing off the curve of his tiny waist, the slight twitch of his arms when he indulges in an idle stretch.
you try to restrain yourself from ogling his bare chest and arms too much, but it’s tough. frighteningly so. with the sunlight embracing his skin, muscles on full display, he looks a bit like a sculpture. a little too good to be real.
but he is. and he’s yours. and he’s smirking at you, lazily, affectionately — eyes half-lidded as he balances the tray that’s making the room smell so sweet. just standing there, looking so unfairly gorgeous. waiting for you to muster up the energy to respond to his greeting, more than happy to watch the way your eyes soften as they trail across his features in the meantime.
“morning,” is all you can rasp, eyes closing as your cheek sinks deeper into the mattress. a bit too tired to talk to him properly, and a bit too unguarded to look at him without feeling as if your heart is about to leap out of your throat.
he’s a little too pretty, like this. framed by the hazy sunshine, like something out of a dream. all soft clouds and gentle caresses, the scent of dried lavender, the pitter patter of rain against a windowsill. all things kind and comforting.
you’re afraid that your heart might give out, if you look at him for too long.
suguru doesn’t seem to mind. he only chuckles, voice deep and husky, sending shivers down your spine. his lips quirk up into a smooth kind of smile, and he’s quick to make his way to your side; crouching down to meet you at eye level after placing the tray on the nightstand.
a hand comes to caress your cheek. the rough pads of his fingers smooth down your jaw, gentle and doting, as if coaxing you out of hiding. as if you’re made of porcelain. suguru always treats you like you’re fragile, like you’re the most precious thing he has.
(because you are, he thinks. more precious than the expensive vanilla extract he used to make the waffles on the tray, more precious than the diamond-clad ring he’s hidden away in a drawer of the guest room. more precious than anything this world has to offer.)
a blissful little sigh slips from your lips, as you nuzzle into his palm. suguru leans forward to smear a kiss against your forehead, overcome with fondness; warm lips lingering on your skin.
the sensation strikes you as just a little heavenly. his touch is so tender, every caress so full of love. instinctual, the way his love bleeds into his touch, trickles down his veins to the tips of his fingers — smoothing along your skin. such a heavy thing, but he just makes it feel so light.
“still sleepy?” he hums, a little teasing. eyes crinkling, voice bordering on a coo.
and it’s infuriating. the amusement that flickers through his eyes, the way you can tell he’s itching to tease you for being so groggy and tired.
between the two of you, suguru’s always been the one to get out of bed first, to your grave annoyance. and he’s so smug about it. you want to tell him that waking up so early on a saturday isn’t normal, that he’s the weird one for not being sleepy —
but when he’s cupping your cheek so gently, all you manage is a meek little murmur of mm. one that has suguru stifling a coo, lips curling up into an adoring smile.
look at you. his sleepy little baby, dyed in sunrays and tiny specks of dust. so effortlessly pretty, tangled up in fluffy blankets, an image so precious he almost feels like he shouldn’t be looking at it. yet he continues to do so, mesmerized.
(suguru doesn’t mind being a little greedy, when it comes to you.)
“i made you breakfast,” he continues, as you melt into his touch. an absentminded action, but almost brimming with trust; the trust you have in him to treat you well. one he’ll always, always affirm. “your favorite. wanna eat with me?”
breakfast.
something in your brain visibly reacts to the sound of the word, shooing away a little of the morning fatigue still clouding your senses. before you know it, you’ve forced yourself into a sitting position, with groggy movements and a soft groan. rubbing the skin beneath your eyes and kicking the blanket off your legs, a little clumsily.
suguru breathes out a soft bout of laughter, low and amused, as you lazily stretch and indulge in slow blinks. his hand goes to ruffle your hair, and all you do is lean into it.
“i’ll take that as a yes,” he teases, eyes full of fondness. you crack a sleepy smile at his amused tone of voice.
suguru’s hands are big, and a little rough, but still so very soft. you could spend hours tracing them — from the tips of his fingers down to the veins of his wrist, across his knuckles littered with small scratches and barely visible scars. stories of his childhood, that he loves telling you about, almost as much as you love hearing them.
you love his hands. they’re so pretty. so warm and grounding, as they smooth down your hair, unmistakably caring. the weight of them is a comfort, as his fingers card through your bedhead, scratching softly at your scalp. a sensation that makes you feel all fuzzy inside.
suguru is just so good to you.
and you’re only further reminded of that fact when your gaze trails over to the assortment of breakfast foods he’s prepared, neatly stacked on the nightstand. all your favorites, made with so much love; and it’s so evident, even just in the presentation. the freshness of the strawberry slices, the perfect amount of syrup spread over the waffles. the cup of coffee made just the way you like it.
maybe it’s the morning fatigue, or just the softness of the moment. the intimacy, so palpable you can almost reach out and touch it. or maybe it’s something else entirely — whatever the cause, you feel your eyes get somewhat glassy.
a meek little sniffle leaves your lips, and it catches even you off guard.
suguru blinks. suddenly alert, his morning-fatigued brain trying to comprehend the sight of your teary eyes. brain spinning in circles, not sure if it should be telling him to panic just yet. something in him constricts, twists and turns, a desperate kind of yearning to protect you.
but before he can even reach out to wipe away the wetness with his thumb, you’ve latched yourself onto him.
arms snug around his waist, face tucked under his chin. fitting into him like a puzzle piece. breathing in the remnants of the cologne on his neck; a nice bergamot mix that you like, so he sprays on a little extra just for you. so close to him that you can feel the patter of his heart against you, as you soak in his body warmth.
and his arms find their way around your form just as naturally, without him even having to think. like every bone in his body was born with a desire to cradle you close. like he was crafted in the image of someone made to soothe you.
being in suguru’s arms is pure bliss. the most grounding sensation you know, one that never fails to calm you down, no matter how stressed or anxious you’re feeling. with his broad chest and strong arms, his bergamot-scented skin. so doting, pressing little kisses to your shoulder, trying to console you. his hair tickles your cheek a little, but it’s comforting.
”what’s wrong, honey?” he questions, voice set on a low, particularly soothing lilt. coaxing, almost cooing — a tone that buzzes with safety. his big hands go to rest on your head and back, smoothing down your spine.
”nothing,” you sniffle. feeling a little silly. ”you’re just too perfect. ‘s not fair.”
a pause.
then, a chuckle bubbles up from suguru’s throat. something fond and delightful unfurls in his chest, a kind of relief; a feather-light amusement.
(you’re so ridiculous, he thinks.)
but you only nuzzle further into his neck, all sleepy and affectionate — and it stirs his heartstrings in a way that makes him feel rather helpless. crumbling beneath your touch. gazing at you with soft eyes, a happy little hum buzzing in his throat.
he takes you in, in all your clingy glory; so impossibly sweet. maybe he should have sprinkled some sugar on the strawberry slices, just to see if the taste could ever measure up.
”ah, is that so?” he drawls, a lazy amusement flickering through his eyes. playful. ”i’m sorry, baby. i should be the one saying that to you, though.”
but you just shake your head, arms tightening around his midriff. as if offended that he’d have the audacity to brush off your objectively correct statement, to even think to deny how perfect he is.
and suguru raises a brow at you, in tandem, a mild protest resting on the tip of his tongue — offended at your blatant disrespect, shaking your head at his factually correct words, as if disagreeing with your own evident perfection.
but before he can even begin to fight you on the topic, you part your lips to speak.
”thanks for breakfast, sugu,” you sleepily murmur, biting back a yawn. still a little meek, but oh so loving. ”i would die for you.”
he stills, once more. then another soft bout of laughter escapes his lungs, rumbling through his chest like a soothing thunderstorm. it makes you feel so terribly safe.
“there’s no need for that,” he assures you. ”don’t you wanna eat instead?”
to his surprise, he’s met with another soft shake of your head. so snug in his embrace that you could practically live there, only clinging to him a little tighter with a huff.
”just wanna hug you first…” you yawn, arms squeezing at his waist affectionately. shifting in his hold until your lips find their way to his neck.
”i love you,” you mumble, kissing down his jaw and collarbone. sleepy, open mouthed pecks, trailing over the expanse of his pretty skin. ”so much.”
it tickles, a little. suguru digs his teeth into his cheek, ever so slightly, just to hold back the giggle that threatens to break out from his throat.
and it’s maybe just a little too sweet, the sensation that blossoms in his chest, something honeyed and flowery; fluttering deep within his ribcage, like a dragonfly buzzing and trying to break free. it gets him a little weak in the knees.
to distract himself from the voice in his head urging him to go get the ring in the guest room drawer right this instant, suguru scoops you up. cradling you close, as he plops down on the mattress, legs crossed to give you space on his lap.
you don’t protest, only snuggling a little closer — as if yearning to tuck yourself away within his ribcage.
and suguru chuckles, the deep tremor of his voice reverberating through his chest, echoing in your head as you listen to the rhythmic beating of his heart. rubbing your back with a teasing smile, pressing a kiss against the crown of your head.
“i should make breakfast more often if it’ll get you like this,” he grins, basking in the warmth of your body against his.
a little whine falls from your lips. muffled into the curve of his shoulder, against his bare skin. “it’s not about the breakfast,” you pout, looping your arms around his neck. “it’s everything you do…”
a heat rises to your cheeks, a little embarrassed at the sappiness you’re exuding. but the sun feels so nice on your skin, and the bedroom smells so good, and the whole world feels so kind.
inhaling the fragrance of bergamot and coffee, you can only fall apart at the intimacy of the moment.
“i’m really grateful…” you murmur, resting your lips against his skin. buzzing with a warmth that has him shuddering. “‘m just bad at expressing it.”
suguru’s eyes soften. melting into a tender hue, like that of a creamsicle sunrise sky. a dreamy look smoothes over his features, and a fond hum buzzes in his throat.
“nah, you’re fine,” he drawls, squeezing at your hips affectionately. pulling away ever so slightly, just to plant a kiss on your forehead, brushing your bangs away with a certain bleeding tenderness. “you don’t need to say it out loud. i know, anyway.”
and he does. suguru understands you better than anyone; a point of immense pride, for him. knowing you so deeply that he can practically hear your thoughts before you speak them, knowing what you need at a single glance. just from a certain furrow of your brows, or the slight tilt of a smile you’re trying to hide.
always one step ahead, folding your laundry on days you’re feeling particularly stressed out, or giving your hand a comforting squeeze when he notices that you’re nervous. always so attentive. it’s a little overwhelming, but also so comforting — to be so thoroughly understood.
his eyes are warm. full of pure affection, a devotion so heavy it makes your heart stutter in your chest. all you can do is glance down, shyly, slumping your forehead against his bare chest.
your voice comes out a little strangled, still raspy. a little wobbly in the wake of your adoration.
“i wanna appreciate you…” is muffled against his skin, your lips curled down into a soft pout. and suguru breathes out a flustered little breath, amused — somewhat delighted.
“you can appreciate me by eating a hearty breakfast,” he suggests, a teasing tilt to his husky voice. cradling you just a little closer, as if even the miniscule distance between you is unbearable. as if he needs your hearts pressed together to keep himself intact. “how about that, hm? or would you rather give me a kiss?”
a moment passes, and a sleepy hum slips from your tongue. he feels your lips touch the soft skin of his neck, once more; then you muster up the strength to pull back from his embrace, slumping against his shoulder with your back against the headboard. it takes concentrated effort.
and suguru chuckles, again. odd, how a man who’s normally so put-together can’t seem to ever hide his joy whenever you’re around. but suguru is just a little too weak for you — he can’t help but let you strum his heartstrings along, however you want. any kind of melody you desire.
(it just so happens that no melody sounds prettier than a joyous one, when it’s falling from his lips.)
a lovesick smile painted on his face, suguru watches as you finally dig in. and he thinks it’s precious, the strawberry juice smearing your lips, the contentment in your features as your eyelids flutter shut. a mellow kind of pride swells in his chest with every satisfied hum that you grace him with, every giddy declaration of how delicious it all is.
there’s something about it he can’t quite explain, can’t put his finger on. something almost otherworldly, in how fulfilled it makes him feel, like he’s lived his entire life just for this moment. just for the sake of making you breakfast and watching you wolf it all down.
suguru doesn’t think there's a single better way to show his love for you than this; cooking for you, putting every last drop of his love into everything he makes. from beverages to pastries, each of them carefully chosen to suit your tastes.
there’s an intensity to the labour, something that brings him great joy. the care and excitement in something as small as the flick of his wrist when he pours sugar into your coffee, or the weight he puts on the kitchen knife while cutting the fresh strawberries he spent four minutes picking out at the market.
there’s something about it that’s just so, so tender. that earnest wish to see you happy and healthy, to make sure you never go hungry. taking care of you. it's pure, domestic, love incarnate. he’s so weak for it, so sappy, but he just can’t help it — suguru loves watching you eat his cooking more than anything.
that, and your blissful little expression is a sight to behold. sunkissed by the morning rays flitting in through the window blinds, suguru thinks you look something like an angel, soft and fleeting and so beautiful it makes his heart squeeze painfully inside his chest. heavy thumps of blood; warmth trickling from his heart to his wrists to the pads of his fingers, as he rubs absentminded circles into the skin of your thighs.
and he thinks to himself that all the happiness he needs is right here in front of him. in this moment, with you tiredly munching on the breakfast he made, sipping slowly from your cup of coffee and savouring every last drop. smiling at him so sweetly, so positively precious that he simply can't resist leaning down to taste the caffeine off your lips.
everything feels so wonderful, so completely and utterly right. the world feels so kind, like this. a world where all that exists is you, and him, and the sun. heaven on earth.
all of it sends a tremor running through his heart, every slight change of the scene reflected in his eyes. the soft smile on your lips, the way you lean your head against his shoulder and bite back a yawn, the expectant look in your eyes as you feed him pieces of your food with a giddy grin —
suguru thinks to himself that he’d sooner die than give it up.
as much as he loves sleeping in, loves indulging in your warmth until the sun sits comfortably on the blue canvas of the sky, he loves this even more. loves dragging himself out of bed before the sun even has a chance to peek out beneath the horizon painted pink and purple, tired and groggy, and so disgruntled at the warmth that leaves him when he pulls away from your skin. loves making his way to the kitchen almost in a daze, moving around the open space so very naturally; fingers curling around the lid of the espresso machine, and the crinkled paper bag of pastries, and the carton of orange juice he bought just for you.
just watching the world wake up, basking in the peace and domesticity of it all. basking in the thought of you — you, with your messy bedhead and droopy eyes, always blinking up at him so sleepily when he returns to you in the morning. he loves it all.
the soft little frown that sometimes tugs at your lips when you’re still lost in dreamland, blindly and subconsciously reaching for the empty side of the bed when he gets up to stretch. the weight of your arms around his waist, hugging his back on the somewhat rare occasion that you make your way to him before he makes his way to you. the grumbles against his skin about how he always abandons you on your days off, even if he only does it so he can make you both coffee.
you, in all your glory — now resting against his shoulder as you plop the last strawberry into your mouth, closing your eyes with a blissful little sigh.
and suguru feels so lucky. so very honoured, to be the one you chose. the one and only person who gets to see you like this, when your voice is still raspy and your hair is still messy, and you have crumbs sticking to your soft lips that you're too sleepy to wipe away.
he does so, himself, with an amused little huff that’s really more of a sigh laced with adoration. thumb smoothing over your skin gently, a silent i love you hanging on the tip of his tongue. his fingers find their way to your skin so effortlessly. like they belong there, like they exist solely to trace the softness of your jaw and to cradle your cheek.
”thank you,” you beam up at him, grinning sweetly.
and suguru knows that you mean it. he knows that you’re grateful, knows not a moment goes by when you don’t notice his affections, no matter how subtle. he thinks you're a little bit silly for worrying that he doesn't. but he thinks you're even sillier for not realizing that you deserve all of it and more, that just that sweet smile of yours alone is more than enough to make up for it.
more than anything, he hopes from the bottom of his heart that you know the opposite is true as well. that he appreciates every single thing you do, notices everything you do for him, no matter how small or insignificant it may seem to you.
you're so good to him. always have been. how could he ever bear to not repay you in tenfold?
”you’re welcome,” he smiles, soft and saccharine and genuine. his lips brush against your forehead with a soft peck, one that has your body melting into his just a little more.
breakfast passes you both by in a flurry of warmth, splotches of sunlight and content hums, until you’re lying side by side beneath the blankets once again. curled up close to each other, with you resting on suguru’s chest, cheek smooshed right over his heart. his arm rests on your back, cradling you closer.
”that was delicious,” you chirp, something soft buzzing in your voice as you bite back a yawn. stretching your limbs out lazily, a honeyed smile on your face. ”as always.”
suguru’s a little too tired to fully hide the soft grin that crawls up to rest on his lips, almost smug. awfully happy with himself, and your words of earnest praise.
“yeah? ’m glad,” he hums, looking at you with affection swimming in his eyes. ”i haven’t lost my touch yet, then.”
”of course not,” you exhale, somewhere in between a huff and a chirp. “you could start a whole breakfast diner with your skills!”
the words are teasing, a little much, but laced with a syrupy sweet sincerity that has suguru’s heart doing laps in his chest. thump, thump, thump — strumming his heartstrings along as you please, conducting the orchestra inside his ribcage. but he’d much prefer to think of you as his muse.
a low chuckle rumbles through his body, akin to a purr. buzzing right by your ear, as his fingers curl around yours, his thumb rubbing soft circles into the skin of your hand. ”you think so?”
an eager nod, as you gaze up at him happily. the sight makes his lips twitch upward, and he can only hope you don’t catch the way his heart skips a beat.
smoothing a large palm over your head, he tousles your hair fondly. ”yeah?” he chuckles, again. “you'll be my first customer, then.”
the smile on your face widens. ”will i get a discount?” you ask, a fuzzy contentment in the way your eyes glimmer. ”since i’m your favorite.”
suguru grins. a husky puff of laughter seeps out of his throat, filling the air with a palpable fondness. it’s almost overwhelming, the affection that simmers in his chest, a cup overflowing. he wants to reach over and smother you in kisses, wants to coo at you. wants to tell you how irresistable you are, like this; so cute and sleepy that he thinks you could probably coax him into giving you every star in the sky.
but that can all wait for another time. he doesn’t want to break the peace of the mellow moment, the subtle intimacy that lingers in the air. the playfulness in your words.
”of course,” he simply says, indulging you with a sweet smile. ”you’ll get all the discounts you want, baby. nothing less for my favorite customer.”
suguru’s eyes crinkle, brimming with love when he hears the happy little giggle that tumbles from your pretty lips. so pretty that he can’t resist pulling you a little closer, to give you another kiss — relishing in the way you soften against him. like you could fall asleep just like this, so safe and comfortable. breathing him in.
sunlight shines in through the window blinds, engulfing you in that familiar heavenly hue. your bedroom almost seems to glow, like a hazy polaroid, a moment that feels too precious to put into words.
you look stunning, he thinks, with your droopy eyes and sleepy yawns. absolutely breathtaking. soaked in a brightness rivaling that of the sun herself, the most precious thing this world has to offer.
and suguru thinks to himself that this might just be it. that this might be all that he needs, all that he’ll ever need — but he already knew that.
he thinks of sunrises. of soft embraces and fluffy blankets, of expensive coffee pots and diamond rings, of the way your lips curl up every time he kisses you. he thinks of the light of morning, how it always seems to devour everything else. how it makes every sliver of darkness seem so inconsequential.
he thinks of how your presence always seems to do the same.
when suguru looks down, pulled out of his lovesick stupor by the sound of a little snore, you’ve fallen back asleep. cheek squished against his bare chest, drooling a smidge as you dream so prettily, your chest rising up and down in a rhythmic serenity.
his heart flutters. fleeting and giddy, a little dove trapped in his chest. with a sweet coo, he reaches over to caress your skin with the back of his hand, careful not to wake you — so gentle that he holds his breath, as if afraid that even a single exhale could disrupt your well-deserved rest.
butterflies dance in his stomach, when he sees the way that makes you smile. a whirlwind of them, wings fluttering eagerly, as if attempting to fly out of his throat. he gulps them down again, but he can still feel them. just like he could when you first met.
butterflies that still haven't gone away, despite how long you’ve been together. butterflies that never will go away, as long as there are plates to fill and breakfasts to be made.
in other words, they're there to stay — forever and ever.
(suguru’s gaze falls on your ring finger. he thinks of the secret in the bottom of the drawer, and wonders what kind of breakfast he should make for you when it’s time to bring it out.)
#im normal abt him!! i swear i am!!!!!#smth about extremely devoted malewives with black hair just do it for me#suguru geto n aki hayakawa are like this🤞in my brain#i think suguru was like. crafted specifically to look good in the morning#like that deep voice……. his hair in a messy bun………. wearing sweatpants w no shirt……………….. i am on my hands n knees#this ended up almost as a parallel to my gojo fic…. it wasnt even intentional blame stsgs soulmatism#geto suguru#geto suguru x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x reader#geto x reader#geto fluff#geto suguru x you#jjk geto#jjk x reader#jjk
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#ncuti gatwa#doctor who#fifteenth doctor#15th doctor#dr who#this is !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#from what i have seen/heard so far of dw. the doctor's white privilege has either been#only slightly alluded to in terms of informing the themes. Or w at best good intent but handled extremely badly/clumsily (fly high ten.)#it seems like fifteen will be written/portrayed w their race actively in mind this time which makes me v excited for their run!!#hoping. hoping and praying and hoping to the stars that rtd got people of color (specifically BIPOC) in the writers room this time#15 era
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Thinking about IDW Optimus again and the fandom's aversion to even acknowledging he exists bc he's a cop or whatever and like. Most of the time people literally just replace him in fic with some white bread knockoff archivist/librarian, not even bothering to keep in IDW OP's personality (which just bolsters my theory that the problem isn't him being a cop the problem is that he's too multifaceted but I digress).
And it's annoying because you could totally write IDW Optimus as not a cop while still keeping his canon personality. You just have to realize that the reason IDW OP became a cop in the first place is because his formative experiences when he was young shaped him to basically have two priorities: 1. To help people and 2. To do it by being on the ground actively doing something about the bad things happening to people.
IDW OP would not be a fucking librarian or archivist because even though those are noble pursuits that can help people and change the world, and Optimus is educated/smart enough for the profession, he wouldn't be satisfied just teaching people or spreading information about activism or social-historical studies or whatever. He's a mech of action: he needs to be doing things right now, in front of him, to people he sees/interacts with in his own eyes, improving society with concrete actions rather than indirect action or abstract inspiration.
So basically the alternate job ideas I can think of for IDW Optimus are something like being a firefighter (or any first responder really) or even whatever the equivalent would be to international charity organizations, those ones that send volunteers across the world to do stuff like build housing/infrastructure or distribute food or whatnot. I mean I can't imagine that the equivalents to these things would be exactly the same in IDW Cybertron, so you'd have to get a little creative with it, but these are just some ideas of jobs that would fit IDW Optimus' personality while still filling the niche of "not a cop" for people who are just that opposed to it.
Though I think the revulsion against coptimus is annoying in general tbh because IDW is already a continuity that rejects the idea of easily defined good/evil people or groups. It feels like people really want Optimus to be a good person in a very sanitized and academically approved way, so he has to be nice and squeaky clean but also like, a perfect leftist who knows theory and holds the most progressive opinions on every single issue....
There is no room for the idea that good people join bad institutions, there's no room for the idea that the reason people think cops are good guys who help people is bc of the government propaganda everything is saturated with. Hell there's even later issues of the Optimus Prime series by John Barber where Optimus like, MULTIPLE FUCKING TIMES, is shown in flashbacks grappling with the fact that he as a cop/Zeta's regime that he works for might not actually be improving society like they say they are, and dealing with the fact that he feels more like a lesser evil compared to the Decepticons (perhaps not "lesser" at all).
It's like there's this idea in fandom of like, fictional media and opinions on media having to strictly adhere to progressive ideals at all times. So people just go "cops bad, this character is a cop, therefore they suck" without being willing to engage with the idea of like. IDW OP is born wanting to fight injustice and protect people -> a good way to protect people is to fight the people who are hurting them and committing crimes -> surely following the law is a reliable moral code to guide him in this -> becomes a cop because he's been indoctrinated into a society (much like our own) where he was told that the state/the law exist to protect the people and being a cop means you get to fight bad guys that hurt people. There's really so many interesting concepts there that could be (and CANONICALLY IS) explored about how good, well-intentioned people can be led to harmful actions simply because they have been fed the idea that the things they're doing are good/helpful/noble. Which is especially important for a character like Optimus, I think, who has a cultural icon status as The Irrefutable and Perfect Good, so it's really important actually to use IDW Optimus as an example of how even the most noble people you know have held problematic beliefs or done bad things at some point in their life. You know, because no one is born perfect and ideologically pure, and in fact society is constructed in exactly a manner to make people drink the kool-aid and believe that the systems designed to hurt them/others are just a normal, if flawed, society.
I mean the writing in IDW literally has Optimus deal directly and indirectly with the harm he's done as a cop and how people don't/didn't trust him because of that. I don't know what the fuck else this fandom wants if the source material literally saying "OP realizes that cops suck and he hurt people and earned their disdain by doing the things he did" doesn't stop them from going EW cop bastard sucks and is the worst Optimus. Like the narrative barely stops short of outright saying ACAB and Optimus himself would agree with this sentiment.
At that point, the collective fandom beef with IDW OP isn't because he's a cop and the narrative didn't do enough to condemn that. The problem is literally just that people don't read and don't care
TLDR: Consider the fact that good people can do bad things sometimes especially when living from birth in a corrupt society that thoroughly disguises its vices/oppressive structures as completely normal parts of existence
#squiggposting#idw op love#like honestly just admit that you havent actually read his parts of the story#or that in a continuity of moral grayness you insist OP must be the one person who's perfectly good#bc idk Optimus is supposed to be good and perfect bc nostalgia/marketing/mythology says he should be#also i feel like theres evidence here of a very juvenile mindset of like#to be good a person has to have all the right beliefs and say it in all the right ways#which is the mindset only extremely insular or inexperienced ppl could possibly have lmao#heartbreaking i know but IRL there are very few people who are and always have been progressive and perfect#there are ppl within progressive mvmts that have unaddressed harmful beliefs outside of their Chosen Issue#there are people who wouldnt ID as progressive at all but are still good ppl who act well towards others#like if youve actually interacted with ppl IRL you understand that if you reject everyone who isnt Perfectly Progressive#youll have few if any allies and possibly alienate ppl who would help/ARE HELPING#like idk do you know how many ppl i personally know who i think have some bigoted/problematic beliefs#but im still friends or collaborators w them bc i understand that theyre still good ppl learning and growing#like. learn to understand that 'goodness' doesnt always look like a walking leftist textbook please i'm begging#and in fact sometimes stories. esp adult and mature ones. will present you w problematic ppl#and you have to like. grapple with their flaws and explore the tension between intention and consequences#a bit of a philosophy tangent rather than anything TF related which is why i kept it to the tags
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im begging people to turn on the post dates for your feed bc sometimes i see ppl rb advice with good intentions but the advice is from 2010-2017 and therefore is WILDLY outdated!!!! and that's not good!!!!!
#personal#like well intentions are one thing#but advice from that time period esp abt very important things like healthcare finances homelessness etc is VERY outdated#as someone who lived thru some of the shit recently that ppl rb this stuff abt#like please please please i am begging#this information/advice is not timeless! nd changes CONSTANTLY#and PLEASE READ THE POSTS CRITICALLY????#i saw someone rb a homelessness advice post recently that suggested hitchhiking to the midwest or south which is TERRIBLE advice-#-if u arent a thin white cis (passing) str8 (passing) able bodied person!!!!#which lbr the ppl most affected by homelesness are queer & trans & mentally/physically ill black & brown ppl#ive seen posts being shared saying that homelessness isn't THAT bad if u just shop cheap - whcih is ALSO not true??????#im harping a little on homelessness bc thats admittedly some of the biggest shit ive seen w/ this issue#but yeah just. please turn on the dates and use criitcal thinking b4 rbing any and all “advice” posts#there Are people out there who write well intentioned advice that is extremely dangerous#there are people out there who wrote advice that was good for when it was posted but not now#there are even ppl out there who write fake advice that is legitimately dangerous for people to do#just. please
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what makes someone fundamentally a good or bad person? and what's the point of making that distinction? not being a hater, i don't think dean is a bad person, i just really don't get it. he's just a person with the capability for good and bad just like everyone else
i agree with you but i think the distinction IS important when you're dealing with fans who refuse to see that there's a difference between doing something from a place of good intentions VS believing they are willfully acting malicious and "abusive" because they secretly wanna control everyone and everything. i think dean is a generally good person who tries his best but like any other person is bound to get things wrong sometimes, make mistakes, act imperfectly. i think we all have the capacity to do both good and bad but like, it's not a tipping scale where X amount of wrong-doings equals You Are Now A Bad Person (often Regardless Of What Your Intentions Were) which is where a lot of "deancr*t" fans come from, and in this case i do think the intentions of a character are important when we're analyzing characters motivations and actions and why they may have made a certain choice.
also soo many fans will crucify dean for something that other characters have done too!! and they clearly don't view that other character as a Bad Person and they're able to give nuance and understanding for why that character did that thing and why it still doesn't make them bad, yet they don't offer the same grace to dean?? it's exhausting so yes, i will make posts saying "dean is fundamentally good to his core" to remind people that doing a bad thing or making a poor choice or acting imperfectly in response to trauma / stress / fear does not automatically make you a horrible irredeemable "abusive" person.
also it's very like this for me, a deangirl:
deangirls talking to other deangirls: acknowledge the intricacies of dean's issues, flaws, and behaviors, where they stem from and why, and also discuss the other characters' flaws and behaviors and how other characters have ALSO hurt dean. and those actions do not make them bad people either !!
deangirls talking to the world at large who keep acting like dean is the sole character who a has ever made a bad choice or hurt someone: dean is good !! dean has done Nothing wrong !! pls stop and look at every other character in this narrative and recognize that they are all deeply flawed and complex
#anyways i'm not here to play the defend dean game. it's exhausting#i think he's a complex person who's made mistakes like everyone else but at his core is trying his best and is generally a good person#a 'good person' used in this sense in contrast and in response to the people who will gleefully claim he is a Bad Abusive Manipulator#that is not how i read him or interpret his actions. i see him as someone stemming from a place of good intentions#anyone is free to disagree w/ my interpretation but i'm not gonna field arguments and get into 'discourse' over every little thing#i'm a deangirl who LIKES dean and likes him even when he's being shitty and imperfect#and i have a deep level of sympathy and empathy for him so i won't ever see him as some big horrible person. that's never gonna happen here#so if people deeply disagree with me then it might be best to unfollow or block if it's That extreme#replies
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okay i know i said yeseo is dense but manages to make it endearing. but over 130 chapters in with him still being this like...not even dense really its more like he's refusing to learn or change his biased preconceptions about cedric, now im starting to wanna strangle him a bit.
#like. dude. how much linger are you gonna refuse to examine everything he's doing for you ans how he cares for you#sure you're friends now but this is like. insane how much you just assume mean intent from him#AND LIKE. YOU CAN ASSUME GOOD INTENT FROM HIS MOTHER JUST FINE??? AND THEYRE SUPER SIMILAR#hes just super autistic can you please be a bit more receptive towards his emotionsss#and like. its not that yeseo is Unkind to cedric but he does not at ALL realize just how unfavorably biased he is towards him#and it sucks sooooo bad#not that cedric is entirely blameless he needs to control his temper and do away w at least a bit of his pride#(cough stubbornness)#but like. come ON yeseo#i know you have a mental divide between you and these people bc youre like 'im in a book and they actuallynlive in this world'#but it is so extremely pronounced with cedric#he can treat everyone else as a person instead of a character EXCEPT cedric#even worse is that he doesnt even treat him as a Character bc good characters are non-static. they grow and change#he treats cedric like he is completely static and will always be exactly the way he is in the book and it drives me fucking insaneee#it huuurts like. its not even funny to me at this point. yeseo can you please view him as his own person for 2 secondsss#EDIT: IM STILL UPSET LIKE. YESEO. HOW DO YOU HEAR CEDRIC LEGIT GO 'as you wish' AND NOT GET IT#YOU RECOGNIZE EVERY REFERENCE THE AUTHOR MADE SO FAR BUT NOT THAT ONE??? BE SERIOUS
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#extremely obvious by ppls reactions to kamala Harris who has and hasn't talked to a Palestinian irl#we went from acab to voting for a cop lol#identity politics has killed critical thinking on this site#if yall want political analysis from Palestinians (who's opinions i trust more than my own on this matter bc they are experts) i suggest#salm/a sha/wa (an/at international)#mohammed el/kurd#subh/i ta/ha#and if you're willing to branch out to a couple non Palestinians i recommend#san/a saeed#mehd/i has/an#if France can band together to get rid of far rights out of the elected office#then we can make third party candidates viable#minorities throwing each other under the bus for self preservation has historically never worked#vote b/lue no m/atter w/ho has proven that KHs team doesn't have to work hard on campaigning#you can't girl boss fa/cism and jenoxide#you can't vote for a m3me#just yapping to myself in the notes thank you for coming to my ted talk#unless KH definitively distinguishes her policy on gz she is no different than jenosixe j0e#she has a much bl00d on her hands#s/im kern is decent but did have a few fumbles#chris k middle east guy i can't remb his name was good too#not yuval!!!! he's funny haha measuring ur height finding out where u are in the world but his mistakes are too intentional#i know we spread news via destiel meme but we can't spread analysis this way#get off this app and touch grass go to a protest talk to Palestinians#or listen to Palestinian accounts for history and analysis not just for their gofundmes#celebs can and have depolitucized charity to use as a moral shield against genuine criticism
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saw a post on here about making friends as an adult and i feel conflicted cuz like, overall i agree that all you have to do is get the courage to show up and get the ball rolling by talking to people/getting their numbers even if it feels cringe or 'wrong' to do so however i can't help but raise my eyebrow at the 'act like they're already your friend' part because some people lean way to into that to the point where they forget we're not actually friends yet which inevitably leads to them saying/doing something that's pretty out of line so like. yes put yourself out there, talk to them and get to know them but please remember that people need to actually like, warm up to each other which could take weeks of speaking to them regularly at minimum
#like. idk maybe i'm getting hung up on semantics#but if someone i barely know calls me their friend or bestie or w/e off the rip it just makes me want to keep a distance from them#bc i don't trust their intentions#i'm kind of an extreme case bc my brain is wired in a way that it takes me like. a year for me to comfortably call someone a friend#but even then i recognize i'm an extreme case and ive warmed up to people in less time than that so it just Depends on the person/situation#thinking about how someone early this year randomly dm'd me asking for help on something and when i said 'yeah sure'#they started going on about how i'm great friend for always helping people out amongst other random positive things which made me go ???#bc i never spoken to them or hung out with them so i had no idea what their basis was for saying that. so their words came off as fake#like they were trying to use flattery to get on my good side or something#externally i was cordial n saying 'thanks' but internally i was like: ?? who are you? why are you talking to me like that?#i've had diff ppl do this to me later on in the year and it never not creeps me out#similar vein ppl i don't know will do that thing where theyre rude in a 'friend way'but it doesn't creep me out so much as it pisses me off#and 9/10 these people always turn out to be not good people to be around so#yap fest over thanks for reading if you got this far.#ik i went on a tangent for a bit but reminder that i think the general advice of putting urself out there is good#i just think people lean too into the over-familiarity sometimes and need to remember to slow down a lil bit#bc before you're close friends with anyone you're still strangers/acquaintances with them first#strike.txt
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im thinking abt liam and bryce SO much rn now. theyre dynamic is so. sorry liam. sorry bryce
#neither of them have done anything wrong and are simply two diff ppl w two diff personalities and two diff thought processes#responding to the same single event . that they didnt deserve to have to respond to but now they just Have To#and both of them regard the other w a sort of desperation around the events of s1 but in a different way#that they respond one way that contradicts how the other does#liam doesnt care what happens to himself but bryce doesnt want to lose everything#its very realistic and very tragic because they were both important for each other but the opposite of what each other wanted at all#bryce wanted to finally heal. from everything. and whether or not ignoring one was a healthy way to do so was irrelevant#he just wanted to finally heal#and liam just. he doesnt care about His Own Life. he just wants to do this One Thing at All Costs. and no one else can help him.#he wants to be known by someone. anyone really. because he cant do any of it alone but its all he knows to do now#and nothing else matters to him#the two are just. theyre so complicated and im emotional abt it#i thinka bt it a lot but i think a good way to put it is#wrt the trolley problem? liam would pull the lever. bryce wouldnt#anyway. that piece os soooo. thinks abt them forever#i think every combination of characters in one is extremely tragic#bc its normal ppl responding to a horrible situation they didnt deserve to be in but now have to respond to#and sometimes they conflict. sometimes they hurt another person when the intent was to help. sometimes its solace in the worst of ones life#but all of them are so. i think abt it a lot liam and bryce are just now the specific ones on my mind cus of my most recent rb
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#im noy gonna start beefing w people over politics on tumblr dot com#but i just wanna say#my god sometimes i see posts where it makes me feel very pretentious and uppity#bcs people often just over simplify and act like a solution is obvious and easy#meanwhile for me its like. girl you do not understand international affairs#i just mean to say politics is extremely complicated even to me and even the people involved#and im sure people have good intentions#but my god you are over simplifying the situation and the solution#if it was that easy they would have done that#i dont say this from some point of superioty bcs im still learning and am in no way an expert#bur seeinf some peoples opinions on reddit and on here. its just so polarized and over simplified#like yeah sure i wish it was that easy BUT its not and why are you acting like it is 😭😭#im never gonna go so far as to post serious shit on main bcs its not smth I'm interested in#even posting this feels weirdly too far for me#but its hard holding it at bay bcs stuff on here has to do w stuff im studying#so im often very *looking intently*#interesting to see the difference in opinion on here vs reddit vs my classes#catie.rambling.txt
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Like the shit voice acting in sh2 Does add to the atmosphere and dissociative qualities of the game, but it feels disingenuous to say that it was intentional. Guy Cihi wasn't and isn't an actor they just got extremely lucky that his variety of bad was to the games benefit. Dont lie to yourself and say all the actors are on the same level as monica taylor horgan. A lot of them are very close to it but guy cihi wasnt
#delete later skater#peace and love ofc ofc#but i cannot respect that man. tbh#like actions dont necessarily reflect quality of wl#*work#but it turns out hes both a shit actor AND shit human#in an interview with thegreatdebate jeremy blaustein talks a bit about the performances w the actors and says not all of them are equal#im largely parroting what he said there tbh just attributing names#david wasnt a bad voice actor. i only caught donna slipping into her natural accent twice#the kid sounded like a kid and monica was phenomenal#what did guy do that was intentionally good#hes out of place and while it works extremely good for the game that doesnt mean it was intentional#they were all working with what they were given#this isnt even getting into the technical shit for why Everyone was sounding stilted in that game#im losing focus rn so#this has gone on too long
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#hmmmm.#so as a rule i say thank you when i go out. a lot. bc i was told once that saying thank you instead of im sorry#would make ppl feel less uncomfortable so i swapped the phrases out.#similarly i was told once that compliments make ppl happy&also if im specifically looking for Good Things#i will find them-- as opposed to letting my head do whatever it wants bc given the extremely violent intrusive+obsessive thoughts#directing it towards Good Things works out for everyone if ppl enjoy compliments.#im also like. extremely aware that these facts-- along w my fervent occasionally manic insistence on being Nice when interacting w ppl#(bc i thought we all were told as kids to treat others the way we wanted to be treated??? lmao.)#-- all add up to make me seem insincere at times or to some ppl. i. dont care. LMAO.#its too exhausting to care. like ppl find whatever they want to find&if ppl are so set on my being a certain way#so much so that my being a nice person can only be explained by nefarious intent (to acheive. what. kindness from others? lmao.)#how in the fuck can any of that be my fault or-- MUCH more importantly-- my problem???#however lately its like ppl have been getting like. Offended. by the impulses. which is becoming... boring. for me. lmao.#bc it isnt like i dont mean it when im extensively polite&complimentary-- i mean everything i say bc even when anxiously filling silence#i dont like wasting my time on like. lying for no reason lmao.#its more so that if it becomes a hinderance to be myself ill go the route that benefits me which is the one of least resistance#&i will ALSO mean it when i make someone cry w exactly the same amount of effort lmao#bc proving a point-- even if its proving someone elses point-- correct is extremely easy either way lmao.#its weird to me that ppl would think seeing good in something means that seeing bad in it isnt possible lmao#the same way its extremely confusing to me that ppl would think kindness&abject cruelty cant like. coexist lmao.#i feel accepting that on a micro level would help ppl accept it on a macro level.#either way i know it would save me some time in having to deal w ppl biting off more than they can chew#before realizing that i will rip chunks out of them&lick the tears up like a dog if they insist on tempting me like one LMAO.#at the very least it might help more ppl appreciate the fact that regardless of how vivid the fantasies#i have yet to hit anyone repeatedly w a baseball bat to relieve some stress.#... lmao.
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sorry there is SO MUCH text in the tags .. i definitely shouldve just put this in a regular post but . i didnt. its too late.. ive committed to this.
the whole "doflamingo has always been evil" thing doesn't sit right with me. idk. maybe it's because i think the environment during childhood is what shapes someone's personality, especially if there's a traumatic experience. and call me crazy, but perhaps being raised in a world full of supremacists and classists with an extreme god complex can affect your views on the world and yourself at a very early age. and perhaps i'm being a bit insane here, but, like, idk. maybe being fucking tied up and tortured and seeing everything you love burnt down to ashes while a whole town tells you you're evil for your mere existence could make you develop a hatred towards them. and, wow! maybe i'm saying something wild, but if you're taking care of your little brother and an older man tells you you're the chosen one to create a fucking mafia and he boosts your god complex to an insane, unhealthy, and almost grooming-like extent, of fucking course you're gonna end up like doflamingo.
but idk, call me crazy.
#yea it didnt sit right w me with dio it doesnt sit right w me with doffy either#esp bc to ME it felt like the readon corazon didnt turn out that way is bc he was spcifically mentioned to be younger?#so he hadnt gotten old enough for those ideals to stick with him yet#meanwhile they were just. too late removing doffy from the holy lanf#and those teachings#and like. he WASNT an evil child...he loved his mom and he protected and cared for cora before trebol amd gang found him. so#<- prev#imo the reason doflamingo ended up like that and cora didnt is actually because cora ended up being taken in by good people (sengoku) and#doflamingo was left to . be groomed. basically.#im pretty sure doflamingo was around 10 when he killed his father. he didnt have any good adults around him to guide him in the right#direction. but i think even after that point he couldve been redeemed. because we see him grooming law to be like him when law is 13. older#than doflamingo. but the difference is that law had corazon. a good adult. to guide him in the right direction. just like cora probably had#they turned out to be good people because they had at least one well intentioned adult who would love them endlessly.#doflamingo was a child reasonably lashing out because. thats how children are. when they lose control and are afraid and dont know what to#do. they lash out. he is also a product of his environment in a huge sense. not to remove his agency at all. but like. of course he was ful#of rage. he was confused and scared by the huge and sudden changes in his life. he didnt know how to cope. on top of that i think he felt a#responsibility to take care of cora. implying that perhaps their dad was neglectful. so u have doflamingo who feels alone in the world afte#literally falling from heaven. and corazon who has always had someone to care for him. and has always been able to see peoples love for him#doflamingo as an adult is evil as evil can be. but as a child i really pity him. he was manipulated into murdering his father (why would u#ever give a child a gun and not expect them to use it). but i also think he feels a lot of guilt and shame around that. like. even as an#adult u can kind of see his shame has morphed into more of a sense of paranoia and fear. he feels like the loved ones he murdered years ago#have come back to haunt him. he sees law as cora's ghost in a sense.#i have a lot of doflamingo thoughts but i will stop here LOL. anyways i will defend child doffy endlessly. like yeah he did an awful thing.#but it wasnt until he was an adult that he was truly gone. irredeemable.#once again . just to emphasize. i do not think it is ok that he .. yknow. murdered his father. but he WAS being manipulated. his fear and#rage were taken advantage of and used as a tool by an adult. children inherently trust adults. or they want to. i cant blame him too much#doflamingo is a very interesting character i would like to dissect him.#no i don't think he was always evil. i think cora said that because he was trying to cope lmao. the brother who raised u suddenly murders u#dad. and then u meet him again as an adult and hes extremely evil#i said i was done and then talked more whoops..
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considering i grew up around so much anger and used to be so angry all the time i have to say i’m proud of myself for being able to react to things w grace & love a lot more often instead now
#rob rambles#do i still fuck up? Yes. i’m not perfect. i never will be#but at least i’m trying. which is more than a lot of people can say#being angry and holding grudges is just exhausting i don’t have any interest in it anymore unless it’s like. an extreme case obviously#idk. i’m just here to live and love while i can and it’s not going to be perfect and i’m going to mess up even w good intentions and it’s ok
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I think it’s important that we talk about Swansea and how he’s VERY MUCH SO meant to be a foil to Jimmy.
While Swansea comes off as grouchy, abrasive, and stubborn, the biggest thing about his character is that he’s HONEST. Brutally so. Meanwhile, Jimmy basically lies through his teeth to both himself, and everyone else, from the first moment we meet his character.
Swansea comes off as stubborn, as if he doesn’t take his coworkers seriously, not because he genuinely looks down on them but because he doesn’t want them to get hurt. While he does see Daisuke as just this naive young adult, we learn in the execution scene that he doesn’t necessarily see that as a bad thing. He wants Daisuke to retain that light that he lost as grew to become grizzled and exploited.
Swansea knows he’s good at his job and so he TAKES RESPONSIBILITY by making sure HES the only one doing the dangerous work. Because he doesn’t WANT to push it onto someone else and get them hurt. Meanwhile, again, Jimmy basically manipulates Daisuke into sacrificing himself all so Jimmy can make sure Curly isn’t dead in medical. (While not even caring what Anya does to herself)
Daisuke is basically Swansea’s “Curly” if that makes sense. There are multiple lines of dialogue that hint to him saving the pod for him, to give him the best chance of survival. However, when he gets horrible injured in the vent, instead of FORCING HIM TO STAY ALIVE in tons of pain (like Jimmy did w/ Curly throughout the whole game) he ends his life BECAUSE he cares about how Daisuke feels and not just how HE feels. Cause we all know Jimmy keeps Curly alive for very selfish reasons.
After everything, Swansea is extremely honest about who he is. The type of person he was and is and could’ve been. The mistakes he’s made, the things he actually cares about, even if they’re flawed or unhealthy. Meanwhile, even then, Jimmy continues to deny what he is and what is intentions are and what he really wants. He CONTINUES to refuse to take any sort of responsibility even when Swansea says to his face that he already sees past it.
Swansea is basically the narrative opposite of Jimmy, while also, funnily enough, kinda being used as a red herring at first. I mean, he’s the fat angry alcoholic old guy who carries an axe everywhere so ofc you’d expect him to be the bad guy. The story even shows you him trying to kill Jimmy/the player without context, to further sort of bait ur expectations. When in reality, he’s the one who saw Jimmy for what he really was before anyone else really did.
#mouthwashing#Mouthwashing spoilers#Swansea#Jimmy#Daisuke#anyywaaays Swansea ily Swansea#he’s my best friend and I will NOT stand for any slander
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Older! Neighbor Nanami who just moved in to the house next to yours.
Older! Neighbor Nanami to whom you smiled when you saw him standing in front of his door with a cardboard box.
Older! Neighbor Nanami who blushes a little receiving that innocent little smile from you.
Older! Neighbor Nanami who sees you from his balcony everyday. ‘Such a nice girl’ he thought.
Older! Neighbor Nanami who doesn't really talk much with the other people in the neighborhood. He keeps to himself. But you strike up a conversation every now and then, which he doesn't seem to mind.
Older! Neighbor Nanami who helps you carry your groceries inside by not letting you hold a single bag. He carries them all himself.
Older! Neighbor Nanami who thinks of you when he sees strawberry shortcakes displayed on his favorite bakery on his way home from work.
Older! Neighbor Nanami who finds you extremely cute because of your height. You were so small.
Older! Neighbor Nanami always listened to you so intently. The way he kept eye contact while listening made your heart skip a beat.
Older! Neighbor Nanami who secretly grows tulips for you in his because you once mentioned it was your favorite flower.
Older! Neighbor Nanami who comes to discover that he is much older than you.
Older! Neighbor Nanami who couldn't help but fall for you rather quickly. You're so cute and just so nice to him. Always caring for him, giving him that sweet innocent smile.
Older! Neighbor loves when you invite him for dinner when he has a bad day at work. You just seem to notice every time. And that makes him so lovesick.
Older! Neighbor Nanami who starts to distance himself from you after realizing his feelings. It wasn't right. You were much younger than. If you found out you'd probably feel disgusted with him.
But his feelings weren't of lust.
Older! Neighbor Nanami held pure love for you. Your presence brought comfort and light to him. You were such a nice girl. Always looking out for him even though he's the one older.
Older! Neighbor Nanami was scared. He was scared of scaring you away. So he locked himself away from you.
But he didn't realize this would end up affecting you, in a negative way of course.
When you saw how he started to avoid you all of a sudden, you thought maybe you had done something wrong. Did you annoy him? Maybe he was tired of your constant chit chat. Maybe he wanted some space. Or maybe..he didn't like you anymore.
That last thought made your heart heavy.
Unbeknownst to your older! Neighbor Nanami, you'd fallen for him the moment you locked eyes with him. He was so kind, so mature. Better than any man you've ever met. Always listening to you. Being a comfort to you. Day by day, you wanted more of him.
But Older! Neighbor Nanami didn't know about anything of this. He only distanced himself more for your 'own good'.
Older! Neighbor Nanami who was dying inside to see you. You were a part of his everyday life. The only good thing in his monotonous life.
Older! Neighbor Nanami who stopped seeing you at the balcony. It was killing him not seeing you. To not knock on your door and confess.
It was as if he's wish came true. In a different way.
Older! Neighbor Nanami was surprised when his doorbell rang one evening and saw it was you.
Older! Neighbor Nanami got a bad feeling when you told him you 'wanted to ask something.'
“Sure, please go ahead.”
Older! Neighbor Nanami who's heart broke a little when you asked him, “Did I do something to make you not like me?”
Not like you? He was in love with you.
Older! Neighbor Nanami who couldn't look at your innocent doe eyes. He didn't know how to answer that.
Feeling defeated you stood up. “Sorry, I...” You looked away. “I shouldn't have come here.”
Just as you were about to walk away, a hand on your wrist stopped you.
“W-Wait a minute.. please.”
This was his only chance.
His heart was beating so fast. He never meant to make you feel like this. He thought maybe if he distanced himself you would eventually move on with your life. A feeling of guilt resided in him for making you feel this way.
“The reason I've been kind of distant is because -”
Older! Neighbor Nanami let's out a deep breath and
puts his hand behind your head and pulls you in for a kiss. His other hand on your back. It's like he got you caged.
You were probably going to hate him after this. Run away from him. And before that happens he wanted to kiss you. To feel your soft lips against his.
And to his surprise, you kissed him back. Did not resist. He didn't know if it was a heat of the moment thing but it didn't matter. He needed you.
He wanted you
He pulls you further in to deepen the kiss. He's got you completely caged. His hand making your hair a mess. Your hands on his chest. You slightly pulled his collar for more.
You always liked his formal office wear. Suits and ties were made for him. And when he rolled his sleeves in front of you at the dinner table over your place, you had to excuse yourself to the every time for that because your face would heat up. Not to mention the uncontrollable pounding on your chest.
A kiss so passionate that it left you two breathless. Flushed faces. Hands still on his chest and his on your back.
“I have fallen for you.”
Older! Neighbor Nanami couldn't look at you in the eyes. He was sure you hated him. Felt disgusted by him. But your head on his shoulders said otherwise.
His heart was pounding so fast that he was sure you felt it too.
“I've...fallen for you too.” And you held on to him tightly.
Older! Neighbor Nanami was so ecstatic that he wanted to kiss you again. But instead he held you close to his chest, burying his face in your hair.
He is never letting you slip away again.
He's not old just, older ;)
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