#( tbh only eden knows where this is from )

[fallenhunnyapple]

@ilikelookingatthings left a very long and question filled essay about Angel!Lu AU in the replies so now its time to delve into More Info about the AU! @fallenguitarhero is my Adam so I got his input for all the Adam-related parts of this. Under a cut because.... this is Very Long LOL (bonus art at the end)

I'm going to just Copy-Paste the answers I got when we discussed it

I do think that Adam actually subconsciously shifts blame to Lilith because he's very black and white in his views. He hates devil Luci but he thinks he can prevent angel Lu from going down that path if he just keeps them apart. Lute also believes this and ngl her view of Lilith is like...really awful internalized misogyny type shit. Both of them think its better the two never meet and Lute outright threatens Lilith to stay away. Adam is too possessive to try and shift Lu to someone else but he does like... try to push Lu back into friendship type feels. Adam is a dumbass about sexuality so he thinks if he brings Lu to do Masculine and Straight things it will fix this. Instead he ends up just spending even more time with him and making it worse. As for his trauma... yeah Adam tries to hide it. Mostly by changing the subject and acting like an asshole tbh. I've thought abt Lu finding out about Cain and Abel p much by mistake (maybe saw artwork of it, all the hell related stuff is hidden but they wouldnt think to hide art of Adam holding Abel's body or Cain's exile) and it breaking his little baby heart. Adam def has moments where like... his mind is busy w something else like a bad day or a nightmare and for a second he sees the devil instead of his angel. Adam always like... 'shit, sorry, i thought you were someone else- fuck, don't look at me like that, c'mon.' There are other issues he just... doesn't realize he needs to hide. They're right about Adam being cynical and like... telling himself Lu doesn't really love him. Even once they date, he's still insecure. At that point i think he'd tell Lu about Lilith leaving him for a friend of his (whose name he never gives) and his marriage with Eve ending badly. He avoids details. He prob talks way more about his kids and prob even introduces Lu to them... Lu being around might encourage him to work on his relationship with them. Adam's body dysmorphia is such a contrast from the Adam Lu knew before... i do think that with him hiding so much from Lu, he tries to make it up to him by making sure his life is perfect. He goes out of his way to keep his angel happy and his attitude spreads to his exorcists who accept Lu into their flock. tbh Adam's dynamic with them prob becomes way healthier over time due to Lu's influence. i think Adam does tell the truth about some things but leaves out the details. Like he says evil found earth and destroyed Eden but says it hurts too much to talk about it (not a lie) and tells Lu that it's why the exorcists exist, they protect heaven and the dead humans from it. Which is what the official story is anyway! i think Lu prob has the same info the average low ranking Heavenborne and winners do. If Lu pushed him too much Adam might admit there are things he can't tell him but frame it as a military thing - there are things only Michael, Adam and the high ranking exorcists can know. He feels a lot of guilt about lying. it weighs on him a lot. that and the stress of protecting Lu from his brothers honestly makes Adam act more subdued and tired than canon Adam. His eyebags are awful. It prob becomes obvious as time goes on that Adam is Not Well. He keeps his mask on for a looong time after the first time bc it helps him hide his feelings and self-regulate but when he finally takes it off it's obvious to Lu from how he looks that Adam is struggling mentally. Comparing him to how he looked in Eden makes it so clear.

For Lu's part of things. Of course he'd ask about Lilith. Especially after finding out that so long has passed and Adam is here, so Lilith is probably here too, right? I feel like because he missed... So much, the concept of Death to him still doesn't really sink in. Like even with the Sins, it's basically like he just Knows he can't See them again. So with Lilith its like Adam has to just lie the same as with Anyone else from Hell. And Lu is definitely heartbroken about Lilith being Gone.

And like, at the time, Adam isn't lying so he doesn't feel Guilty about it, he just feels bad seeing Lu so upset. The timeline of this is kinda indeterminate but it definitely is Earlier than the 7 years of Lilith being in Heaven. So when he first Appears, she hasn't left Hell yet. Who knows, Charlie may not have even been born yet at that point. There's no Solid point in Time for Lu to have appeared in Heaven, it's just... Earlier. He doesn't think to Look for her because he knows that if she's Not Already There, then she's Inaccessible. Otherwise Adam would have told him, he's sure of it. (Adam has no obligation to tell Lu when Lilith does get there and for the reasons stated above + the fact that the Elder Angels probably would try and deter any interaction between the two. he's left in the Dark about her arriving in Heaven. He doesn't know Adam has even made a Deal with anyone) He still misses her because Adam is Truly the only friend from When he's from left.

And tbh the mixed signals are what keeps Hope Alive for Lu. As much as he tries to be okay with friendship, he still wants more because he's In Love and Adam is the only thing that makes him feel Normal when his entire life and everything he knew was entirely up-ended. It's why he's so passive about it. He doesn't want to make Adam feel bad, but he sees Adam being so Conscious of him now and it makes him happy. He doesn't wanna Push it, but he still likes seeing that Adam is Aware of him like that now. Especially because it's not in a way where Adam is trying to push him away, Adam is actively spending more time with him!

The longer time passes, the more discontent Lu grows. Knowing he's being lied to/that things are being hidden, even by Adam, he is Curious and he wants to learn more. But he also isn't going to be reckless about Learning More. The thing is also he Doesn't Know what questions he should be asking. He could ask Winners things and get answers, its not like anyone would stop him from Talking to Winners, its part of his Job. But like... How would he even start to figure out what's Missing in his knowledge?

Also Lu is definitely Aware of how different Adam is from his Eden self. Like just Visually, it's so easy to separate them because Adam wears his mask. But when its just the two of them and Adam is maskless, Lu may be more susceptible to treating him like that. But he's also very aware of the fact that actually their Knowledge Base is completely flipped. Lu hardly knows anything and Adam knows Everything.

And like.... Lu Knows that being kept in the dark is probably 'for his own good' but as stated, the person who fell is Still him. So now instead of resenting/being upset that Humans were kept in the dark, now it's himself. There's no Fruit That Will Fix Things for him though. He's just left frustrated at his lack of agency in this. And honestly, what keeps in line Most is Fear. Since coming to this time, his family has been Nicer to him, he's actually getting along to some degree with his brothers who used to ridicule him (or worse) and he Knows it's only because he's 'behaving' now, now that Creation is over and Life Has Existed. And he's scared or what will happen if he steps too out of line. He doesn't have the refuge of going to Eden to visit the Humans if things go south with his siblings. He isn't allowed on Earth, he's confined to Heaven, so he would just be stuck with the same sort of things that ultimately drove him originally to commit the Sin of giving Eve the Apple (not that he's Aware of how it culminated) And Also he has Adam. He doesn't want to know what the consequences would be if they were to decide that they shouldn't be allowed to stay together. It would absolutely break him.

If Lu were to find out about the exterminations, he'd be just as Appalled by it as Emily was. Lu doesn't know about Sin, what that entails, how Sinners destroy everything. He hasn't had to live with it so he can't see any contempt or justification for their destruction. Lucifer hates them because they came in a ruined the world he tried to build in Hell. Lu doesn't have any such associations with them. He would just see them much like Charlie does, souls who made mistakes and who should be given the chance to Do Better and make up for it. (That's sort of what he is, in a way, too.) He would absolutely be upset and scold the fuck out of Adam and Lute if he knew what his besties were REALLY doing once a year-

As for the sexual stuff, Both Lucifers started without having a concept of sex or sexuality, so both of them are specifically shaped by their partners (literally in a way). So the Lucifer who learned and explored with Lilith is going to be completely different from the Lucifer who learned and explored with Adam in terms of How they have sex. It's a skill they learn by doing, so it's not the Same.

Thank you for sticking it out this long, have a doodle for your troubles 🙏

[acatwithstockings]

Could you please, please tell me everything about the 1990's Good Omens (very bad) Movie script? you mentioned not being able to taIk about it because no one is interested (which I very much relate to, but in just basically anything Good Omens related) I was not there for when it was leaked, so I'd really like to know like... all of it (I promise I am so interested, and also very very obsessed with Good Omens. I'll absolutely be your captive audience.)

the only things I think I know are that Crowley's mean and has a nightclub, and Aziraphale has a museum(??). and it's in America??

You don't know how happy it just makes me ramble on about that one. Could write a whole essay tbh (I try my best not bc my spelling is atrocious pff ).

Only snagged it myself after a whole year of searching when it got put up on Dropbox for a few hours. Got taken down quickly again. Idk if it was bc of a copyright claim or if the owner took it down themselves bc it isn't supposed to be spread around due to said issues and they (not quite so cleverly) posted the Link on a post that would make it especially easy for the copyright holder to find it. At any rate, I Got really lucky in that regard. The copyright issues around this thing are fascinating in general and could make for a great study in regards to the flaws of that system.

As for the script contents... Well it's something.

Yes Crowley is mean it would be wrong to reduce that version of him to that. (I will try and point out why later). Yes he owns a nightclub, the aptly names hellfire on a hill(? Idk enough about british topography to know if that's a hint towards a real part of town or just bc the visual of it being on a hill is cool ) in London. So It does not play in America and Aziraphale is working at the British museum. Canon explanation why they try everything and anything to not give back the artefacts they stole, I suppose. (That was a joke. In the script itself it isn't even as much as mentioned that our favorite angel has any interest in collecting anything, missed opportunity if you ask me)

In general the whole thing plays out extremely differently from the story we all love. And sadly lacks the Prattchian humor... For obvious reasons. It does have it's moments tho not many but they are there. ( "Crowley un-snakes" will never not be funny)

What follows is a lengthy summary which will have a bit of analysis and personal interpretation mixed into it . Bc who needs good struktur if you can do stream of consciousness? Am I right?

We begin with the protagonist Crowley and Aziraphale, who in this version sadly takes a bit of a backseat, playing checkers in Aziraphale's study. In this version they are color coded with pure white clothing and hair and pure black clothing and hair. Crowley remarks that 'everything is going too well'. To which Aziraphale points out, that complaining seems to be a favorite past time of the demon. He has a knack for putting down/dismissing Crowley on basis of being a demon (" Oh, isn't that just like a demon? Six-thousand years and all you do is complain") in this version and it's part of his ark , kinda.

It looks like Aziraphale is about to win Crowley however, uses the cliché 'Lock over there' trick to cheat. In the following dialogue we learn that they have been playing one checkers match a week for the past six thousand years. So basically it's presumed they played their first match in Eden before checkers was even invented. (Then again the stage direction describes a painting depicting Crowley as green snake wearing sunglasses in Eden, so they just have been trend setters from the start) . They then set a date for their next match, Crowley makes his distaste for earth known, they meet Aziraphale's assistant Polly, who is very unimpressed by Crowley and then he is off not without causing some mischief with a stolen wallet.

Aziraphale gets a little scene where he is appraising a painting for its authenticity. He gets called 'bramy as a box of fruit bats' and tells the ones that brought the painting that if it were real, he'd know bc he would have seen the master paint it. The interesting thing here is that this scene essentially is there to show us that despite not acknowledging Crowley's cheating or directly calling out the forgery and its purpose (to gain money), even calling it pretty, he knows what's going on he simply chooses to play/be aloof .

Next we get introduced to the nightclub. Nothing much Happens here at first except that we get introduced to the Barstaff. Or well at least Tina (my love) the barman. As it seems Crowley is managing a successful business and outside of a little rant, calling people sheep and wanting bigger cocktail umbrellas, he genuinely seems to be competent in his leadership and friendly to his staff. Knowing them by name .

Other notable staff members are Warren, I think he has one line and is the handyman/security of the nightclub and Marjorie who gets a few more lines and is part of the waitstaff. Who by the way are put in full body imp costumes bc of course the nightclub is themed after hell.

Crowley then contacts hell, where he ultimately gets told that Satan himself has a special task for him. And we get the first clue that Crowley who so far has given us very cool very early 90's style Anti"hero' is scared shitless. Not just that hell thinks he is a bit of a loser, not being impressed by his mission reports and all.

We then get to the good old Hyde Park scene with nearly drowned drake safed by Aziraphale's intervention and everything. What is interesting here however is, is that Crowley is a full blown nihilist and Aziraphale just very over enthusiastically positive. Aziraphale saying a woman is doing something good by giving her ice cream to a child while Crowley points out that the ice had first been dropped to the ground and been liked by a dog. (Script! Aziraphale as much as I love you but I am with script! Crowley on this one). Aziraphale points out that that hardly matters because the child is happy and that makes it a good deed. Crowley snarkily points out that Happiness is a stupid metric for good things and says he likes one thing about humans : that they are reliable in doing the selfish bad thing.

Aziraphale then tries to then get Crowley to reveal why things are going to well. Crowley points out that they are enemies and he shouldn't give out that information despite the arrangement (sadly we don't get more information about that but I would love to know how it looked in that universe) and only is convinced by Aziraphale being hurt about it and giving him sad puppy eyes. Crowley then invites Aziraphale over to his nightclub after hours to talk about it what head office actually wants from him.

We then jump to the nightclub again. Crowley is surpassingly decent towards people, Tina is managing the club. And Madam Tracy is making an entrance. In this version she is an slowly aging out of it IT-girl. It's implied that she had a multitude of affairs and that she has now been payed off big time. (I enjoy Madam Tracy in this version a LOT). She never seems to be quite there but still own any situation.

Her and Crowley have a little conversation that gets broken up when he decides to deal with a Troublemaker at the bar instead of letting Warren take care of it. (Side note that part of the script gave me the HC that script! Crowley is very short, definitely shorter than script!Aziraphale) . He is having a full blown Anime protagonist moment, including using the bribe the trouble maker gives him to give to the Waitress the Troublemaker had harassed in a very cool™ manner and stopping a punch with one hand. Just believe me it's very anime. But again Crowley seems to be actual decent boss, believe it or not.

He then gets a Call in the bathroom . Satan talking to him through the mirror without prior notice. He orders Crowley to get to a graveyard within 30 minutes. Crowley is keeping it together but he is panicking. He is having a short conversation with Tracy again in which he stays relatively friendly surpassingly enough.

Fun fact this whole film would have had "Every day' as musical theme. Bc from this moment the song gets mentioned continuously.

After a speeding and vandalizing a cop car out of desperation since he is late and they determined to stop him we get to meet satan. In this version he is a cold calculating (but very cool) business man . Crowley in German we'd say 'legt sich erstmal ordentlich auf's maul' (meaning he trips and falls on the ground). He is groveling before him, bootlicking and trying to appease his Master (for real tho if that movie would have been made there would have been Satan/Crowley shippers bc that shit is some fuel for a toxic ship). At any rate Crowley is making a bit of a fool of himself and Satan is enjoying the Powertrip. In the end he gives Crowley the antichrist with the task to raise the baby or else suffer worse than anyone else in hell. However if he succeeded he is getting to leave the planet (again he supposedly doesn't even like earth in this version)

Anathema is introduced. She is just a little occult girl that felt the antichrist coming to earth. No mentioning of prophecies or anything. Our beloved Agnes does not exist in this universe. Just a little girl with green eyes and a sense for the occult.

Now with a baby he is supposed to take care of, Crowley makes his way back to the nightclub. There he hides the newborn from his employees and gets pulled away to discuss something by Tina. Since he is hiding the baby he puts the newborn down, right into Madam Tracy's money bag. And well, while he is off talking with Tina , Madam Tracy is taking her bag without noticing the child and off she goes. Leaving Crowley with the problem of a lost antichrist.

He starts drinking. He knows he is done for so what's the point. (The first bottle he grabs is Aardvark Snapps idk why I finde that interesting) . At this point he has accepted that he will end up for an eternity being punished. Hours later Aziraphale makes an appearance and is a little bit judgemental about Crowley being drunk. (Side note: an other hc of mine is that script!Aziraphale is straight edge bc of that scene). Crowley tries to have him join him drinking but fails. And then just try a to have a little heart to heart. ("I am doomed, Aziraphale") Only getting a little speech about being a demon and therefore inherently doomed ('duhhh!') back.

Crowley eventually just confides in Aziraphale how much he has fucked up having a bit of a monologue about it. Eventually Aziraphale offers to help find the boy, but only if he is allowed to influence him. To which Crowley reluctantly agrees, because it would mean that he still fails his task of raising a boy that Satan could be proud of. But Aziraphale is a little bit manipulative (also Crowley is still drunk while Aziraphale is sober) so they shake on it. Anyway this exchange is one of my favorites in the script .

We finally jump eleven years into the future and get to meet Adam.

He has been adopted by Madam Tracy. And is now running a bed and breakfast in the quaint little town of Tadfield. Instead of an army base this Tadfield has direct access to the sea. Including it's very own pier. Anyhow I said Adam is running the b&b that's because Madam Tracy is a neglectful parent and as much as I enjoy her script version, she is not doing great here. Adam is running errands, making breakfast for his mom and generally keeping things together. His whole interdiction is him being a little adult .

He finally gets some child time and we meet 'the Them' except they are not 'the Them'. Brian, Pepper and Wensleydale are a friend group and try to talk to Adam because Pepper wants to be friends with him ( I think the intention was to make Pepper and Adam as THING but idk) . But Adam wants nothing to do with them and instead just wants his peace and quite. So he gets insulted for not having a father and sulks off.

Anathema has also arrived at the scene. And has a culture shock bc of the lackluster infrastructure out here. She arrives in Tadfield with some difficulties and now has to somehow find a place to stay. And while the town seemed overrun with places renting out rooms it also has a case of outdated world views and nobody is willing to take Anathema in for some reason or the other. She eventually gets pointed into the direction of Madam Tracy. Where she is informed that she can have a room . And Madam Tracy casually dunks on Picasso which I can support.

Anathema then repeatedly runs into Adam and tries to strike up a conversation but he just doesn't want to and runs off. As both of them eventually go home at the end of the day he accuses her of following him they both are taking the same path. As he gets told that Anathema also lives at the same address as him now he gets angry and stroms to Madam Tracy, disrupting a seance to scold her for taking on a lodger without his approval. He is angry that Madam Tracy is so reckless taking in people without proper background check.

Following that Adam interviews Anathema. And they bond .

At night Adam sneaks off to the pier and we learn that he has build a model of Tadfield in an abandoned arcade.

He and Anathema bond a bit more over breakfast. (And honestly I like that version of them more relationship wise. As much as I love Prattchet, he did have a particular style of writing children that also came through in Gomes . It lends itself great to hypotheticals and punchlines, not so much for interpersonal relationships however)

Back to Crowley and Aziraphale. Last time Crowley had been hopeful and appreciative of the angel. Well now he is running out of time and he is getting grumpy and down in the dumps and ready to give up. While Aziraphale is still unrelentingly optimistic. Poly makes an other entrance, Crowley puzzles together an ancient Etruscan pott. All riveting stuff.

Shadwell, or what's left of his character makes a short appearance as 'MAD OLD MAN' shouting and standing on a soap box as set dressing for Crowley to buy a newspaper and... Pay for it .

He gets sapped into hell without notice.

(Side note Miss Ashtoreth is mentioned as secretary of Satan himself.)

Satan wants to check up on his son's progress. Crowley is shitting himself and lies, reassuring Satan that the boy is properly evil and all that . Of course Satan wants to see the boy real soon and tells Crowley to tell the boy that he is ready for when the boy wants to see him. And after taking a look at Adam by rearranging the universe itself to show a likeness in the stars (hell is a very surreal space with an office above the pit and direct view of all of the universe) Crowley gets sapped back to earth. (Also Satan calls Crowley 'Crawler' which is the script version of Crowley's name change, probably)

Crowley Is now properly stressed out.

On the other end of London (probably) Aziraphale's Crowley senses tingle and he just starts running (presumably) towards Crowley. This never gets brought up or explained. And is so bizarre I couldn't skip it.

Back in Tadfield Adam and Pepper get a bit of a bonding moment. Talking about action figures, Pepper giving Adam a lecture about not being sexist , getting fish and chips. The topic of Adams lack of a father gets brought up again and he lies. Telling Pepper he had met his father before and his father is a some sort of international business man, that meets with Presidents and is very busy. Eventually Perper asks about Anathema and tries to convince Adam to take her to the movies.

Back in London one Angel apparently unable to use public transport arrives at the nightclub. We can assume that he had been running the whole way. He gets pointed towards Crowley by multiple staff members, 'Every day' gets another cameo and he accidentally stumbles into the dressing room for the waiting staff, which is very embarrassing for him but not for the women.

When he reaches Crowley's office, the demon doesn't want to talk. He is panicking and packing to go on the run for the rest of eternity. (Which for him just means a suitcase full of sunglasses) . What follows is the infamous dialogue bc of which script!Crowley get his reputation from. (I might make myself very unpopular here but I think that reputation is not quite deserved. Yes he is an asshole but also the harsher exchanges only play out when he is stressed/panicked and usually if he goes too far he will try and paddel back. Still worst of the Crowleys without a doubt just not quite as bad as people like to paint him. Also script!Aziraphale isn't half as naive and helpless as people like to paint him and in this house we let him have his agency! But also more on that later)

The exchange switches tone once Aziraphale lets his unbreakable optimism fallter and gets sad. To which Crowley immediately reacts bc trying to reassure him that they are in fact friends and that he shouldn't be sorry. Pointing out that he (Crowley) now knows what the boy looks like to counteract Aziraphale's pessimistic statement that they could never have found the boy bc they didn't even know what he looks like. They agree to hit one more town in their search for the boy.

In Tadfield Anathema finally gets to talk about her quest to find the SOMETHING with Madam Tracy. And have her witness a fight between Brian and Adam about Adam's father. (Srly Adam gets constantly bullied bc of that.) Anathema steps between the two to protect Adam. They make a deal to tell each other's secrets. First we get Anathema showing Adam stuff about the antichrist and the weapon she plans on killing him with.

Then we get an intermission with Crowley and Aziraphale discussing how they should choose which town to go to. They decide with a dart throw.

Back with Adam and Anathema. Adam shows Anathema his model of Tadfield. To the question what he plans on doing once that model is done, he tells her, he is going to build the rest of the world and rule over it. He also voices his desire to get somewhere else to be no longer stuck in Tadfield.

Aziraphale and Crowley arrive in Tadfield during a Thunderstorm and face the same problem as Anathema. No one wants to rent them a room in town. And while with Anathema the whole thing was rooted in sexism, disdain for outsiders (aka read as Americans) and misunderstanding about her occupation, for those two it's the obligatory 'People think they are a gay couple' thing but with a giant side of Homophobia.

Crowley want to give up Aziraphale want to go on and eventually they end up at Madam Tracy's.

Madam Tracy mistakes them for the gas person, Crowley wants separate rooms, Aziraphale a shared one,(we never get to know which they now too bc the script has both scenes with a shared room and a separate room. It could also be the case that Crowley simply stays longer than Aziraphale and therefore the shared room becomes his room. At any rate it is never specified. And to be honest there are multiple parts of the script where the author very obviously had given up on it soooo) Crowley praises Aziraphale's skill as homemaker, Madam Tracy tells them, they have to wait for Adam. Adam comes home Crowley recognizes the boy.

Crowley and Aziraphale take a stroll on the beach and come to the agreement to each spend a day with the boy, despite Crowley trying to avoid having Aziraphale influence the kid. They also witness how Brian's fathers getting things ready to tear down the pier.

In the evening they play an other game of checkers. Adam witnessing first hand Crowley's cheating as he gets the both of them to have dinner with the whole house.

At the dinner table they convince Madame Tracey to let them take Adam to London for a day. Adam being obviously overjoyed about the whole thing.

Anathema sees Aziraphale's and Crowley's true nature for a sec. And I am sorry if this part comes across as rather dry, it's also rather dry in the script.

Adam gets taken to London. First Aziraphale get to show him the museum and talk about human creations . (Side note , when I first got my hands on the script I thought I was missing a page bc the dialogue has a really awkward jump in this scene but no ... It's supposed to be like that and either it was the author giving up or it was supposed to be a kid thing. Jumping from one topic to the next with much logic. We will never know)

Adam then confronts Aziraphale about Crowley's cheating. And here comes the part why I will never see script!Aziraphale as truly naive or helpless. Aziraphale admits to Adam that he had always known Crowley cheated, he just thought it virtuous to not point it out. Bc he played fair in his mind that was enough to stand above the other and just let him do the cheating. Adam points out it stupid and that was that. Aziraphale is stunned and does what most people with too much money and no idea how to handle kids do, exactly drag him somewhere, where he can buy shit.

Next up is Crowley. First he drags Adam to Soho. Not Good Omens there might be a cozy bookshop somewhere Soho but well 90s it's a bit of a cess pool Soho. With hookers and homeless teenage girls ( and for all those people that take Crowley being displeased with Adam for giving the girl some change as point to call him fundamentally mean/bad... I implore you learn was character motivations are. He has been tasked with raising an evil child, has promised an evil child, obviously he is displeased when that child is doing something selfless. And he wouldn't do something selfless in the presence of the said child bc again he is supposed to influence him towards evil) Crowley then gets him a milkshake and takes him to his club where they have the mirror conversation to Aziraphale's. Ending with Asam pointing out that it is pretty boring to always win for the wins sake by the means of cheating.

On the way back they have a short conversation about their respective experiences with the boy. Accidentally letting it slip that they know who Adam's father is, believing the boy to be asleep. He is not.

That night Anathema finally succeedes in her endeavor to find the antichrist. Her crystal ball revealing to her that it is indeed Adam. She is so shocked by that, that she lets the ball fall but luckily for her Aziraphale does his thing and it lands safely without breaking. (That another quirk of the script apparently Anathema and Aziraphale were supposed to be something and what ever that it, it's even weirder than Adam and Pepper)

Madam Tracy also finally recognized Crowley from THAT night and they have a honest heart to heart. Or whatever you call it when the otherwise always woozy character suddenly seem lucid and aware of what will happen.

That night Adam goes to Anathema for emotional support bc of the father thing. Anathema however is in the middle of a crisis bc she now knows what Adam is and had tried to get herself ready to murder him. Eventually Adam notices the knife behind her back and with the first flair of his antichrist powers forces her to show it to him before storming off hurt.

Being emotionally distraught he runs to his hideout on the pier and calls out to his feather. First nothing happens but then after Adam went off the pier and back again it is completely transformed into a bright happy carnival. His Father has arrived. Satan immediately takes Adam under his wings . He even dresses him up as a mini self.

The next morning the whole town of Tadfield is one giant carnival. There is a parade with elephants. And the people from around town are all mindlessly attending the celebration.

Crowley has a short meeting with Satan (on an elephant) and gets told that he is supposed to come to Satan to talk about his promotion to alpha centauri. AND

( Don't ask me why I find this too funny to not share my humor is very broken )

The town is being further transformed and more people are made mindless puppets. But no Crowley is happy to have gotten away with his stunt. He is roleplaying flirting with someone in a mirror. (Also in the script notes it literally says James Bond for acting directions for Crowley, and that's such a dorky idea I love the theory of it ... Bit of a waste in this tho).

Aziraphale tries to change his mind but Crowley shut him down by pointing out that he was the one saying happiness alone is making things a good thing so it shouldn't matter if people have to be made into mindless puppets first. They are happy after all.

Meanwhile Adam is torturing Brian by throwing tomatoes hat him and having the rest of the town join in with the fun. He just wants his father to be proud of him (nawww ) (that naw was sarcastic). In the crowd Anathema is fighting to regain control over herself.

Aziraphale still tries to convince Crowley. Rugging at his heart strings but even the tried and true "I thought we are friends" won't work this time. Crowley wants to cease his opportunity, he wants out and up.

While those two are arguing, Anathema struggles. All she wants it the knife but she is exhausted.

Crowley is looking for a starting point for his launch towards alpha centauri. He is climbing onto a church tower. Behind him Aziraphale still hasn't given up. Despite not liking heights (!? Wasn't mentioned before will not be mentioned again but apparently script!Aziraphale has a fear of heights). He finally gets an idea and challenges Crowley to one last match.

Crowley for once doesn't cheat and it looks like he is Winn but then Aziraphale DOES cheat, desperate to keep Crowley on earth and have him fight at his side. And Crowley just shrugs and accepts. His next line after acknowledging the win already calls Satan his ex-boss and if that is not a very impressive 360° turn then I don't know what is. (Just a throw back to character motivation, we could speculate it's because most of what Crowley has said were lies and half truths and deep down he actually likes earth and bla or he just remembered how much he would miss his nightclub BUT I as number one script!Crowley (not really) defender say ... It's just unfinished/bad writing and there simply wasn't enough time or inspiration or whatever to finish his character ark)

Anathema manages to give both of them the knife. Crowley is so idiotic and tries to grab it but it burns him . I mean, duhh! Anathema literally tells them that this knife can hurt the antichrist why should it be harmless for a way lesser demon? So Aziraphale takes the knife.

After calling Crowley his best friend, Crowley himself calling himself stupid Aziraphale, presumably presumably is important here) with the knife, goes off to confront Adam. He tried to talk Adam out of it. Trying to point out that no good father leaves his kid alone for eleven years and if this is really what Adam wants. As he points out that Madam Tracy despite all her flaws still love Adam he gets disorporated, by Adam. But bc this is a Movie script and we don't have much time left he just stays in his true angel form (which is very much just white robes , wings and halo ) right where he is further trying to talk Adam out of it .

(his an other line in my mounting pile of evidence that script! Aziraphale is neither naive nor helpless and simply chooses to carry himself that way bc he thinks it's virtuous. He literally acknowledges that people can do bad things. Something he would not at any point before that in the script. I rest my case )

While Aziraphale is trying to make Adam think about a things Crowley is off confronting Satan, presumably without the knife.

Satan acknowledges that Crowley had lied to him but is still in such a good mood that he still wants to give out the promotion. Even throws in the Titel of fiend extraordinar. For a moment it seems like Crowley considers but ultimately he tells Satan that he wants to quit. Satan is not happy about that and after Crowley also pulls out a pink rubber glove and the knife (yhea Crowley had the knife all along , take that continuity or rather scree logic, like not showing how they get a rubber glove is fine what ever but having the last scene withe knife I'm be the one where it's shown that he can't touch it and Aziraphale had to carry it would have made it feel a bit too deus ex machina.) he forces him into half snake form and summens hands that try and drag him back to hell.

Thanks to his already established Crowley senses Aziraphale suddenly shows up and charges at Satan. Who in turn is like 'An angel, really? You betrayed me,..' and then roasts Aziraphale to a crisp before destroying the knife .

Adam confronted with a robotic acting madam Tracy, listening to his every command, starts to reflect on his actions. Getting called in by his father to greed the four horsepersons he notices Aziraphale and Crowley.

Adam now faced with all the destruction says: no, I am not doing it. Stan tries to threaten him into obeying but he gets the good old 'You not my dad'. For being a deadbeat for 11 years. Adam then heals Aziraphale and frees Crowley. Now flanked by the two Adam banishes the horseman.

Satan demanding obedience once more, gets reminded by Crowley that he himself once rebelled. And after laughing about that revelation he tells Adam that it was interesting meeting him but as it seemed he wasn't cut out to be a dad. To Crowley that he is now banned from hell and to Aziraphale that he should tell his boss, that at least his son (the antichrist) had more guts than his(Jesus and yes the script sadly uses he/him for God).

After Satan vanishes they have to escape a collapsing pier. Noticing too late that Madam Tracy is also still there. Adam ends up releasing her from her trance by calling her mom and telling her that he loves her. Aziraphale ends up saving both of them, flying them to safety on the beach.

At the beach they also meet Anathema, who promises not to kill him and Pepper . They watch as the pier explodes and burns to the ground. Anathema also has uncomfortable eye contact with Aziraphale while he ripples back into human form . (Don't me why it feels uncomfortable, Anathema is described as looking on tens while he sill full angel and softening once he is human again so idk)

Apropos Anathema and Aziraphale. The next Morning, he comes to say goodbye and ends up offering a job bc (I forgot to mention it when it happened) Polly his assistant had a promotion. So he is search for a new assistant. She end up kissing him on the cheek and calling him angel but in a way where it's ambiguous if she now knows that he is one or if she just thinks he is a good person and something always makes her forget what he really is. At an rate Aziraphale says he had never gotten a kiss on the cheek im six thousand years and knowing a bit about history and cultural practices I am inclined to calling him a liar. But then again this is fiction .... So sure ... Cheek kiss virgin this one.

While that is happening Madam Tracy is asking Crowley if she can keep the boy now . And Crowley reassures her, that after this no one is going to come for him. He even offers to throw a birthday party for her at his club all she should do is just to look after the boy. It's actually a very sweet exchange.

Outside Brian and Adam have a little exchange, Brain trying once more to get to Adam with the father thing. But Adam has no daddy issues anymore. Instead he asks pepper out to the movies and Brian just tags along without being asked. Where is Wensleydale you asking ? Take your best guess, he was mentioned once said one thing and then fell off the earth.

With the kids now finally as a group we have the last shot of Aziraphale and Crowley. They are walking along the street , Crowley one stolen Apple in hand . Having their talk about good and evil. Accusing each other of being a little bit of a good person (press x to boubt) and just enough of a bastard (oh absolutely). How they both knew the other was cheating all along. And maybe alpha centauri isn't such a good idea after all. You can even get booze there. The last thing that is said is Aziraphale telling to not start THAT again, after being offered the apple.

I lied one more screenshot bc Every ...it had been for told by the cursed script for ages now. (I am pretty sure it had been in the talks to put go to Every day' even before the script was ordered so that is just a joke)

At any rate I do have to go to work in ....eh three hours ... So I will leave it at the summary for now. I am dyslexic and English is my second writing so I am very sorry for all the mistakes I probably made . If someone reblogs this before I get the chance to correct them, let it be said that at least nobody can claim this is ai pfff.

Also not I said the author the two times I mentioned him simply bc I don't feel like acknowledging the name of the person. I got into Gomes bc of Sir Terry and I stay here for him. This little obsession with the script happened by pure chance.

[starberry-cupcake]

After a weekend that exhausted me, I am finally able to come back to this book. My reacts proved useful to remind me where I left of, who would have thought.

previously, on harrowberry the ninth:

this happened

also, harrowberry is courtesy of @lady-harrowhark

after which I suggested the following album cover as a representation of her

currently, chapters 14-16:

"The Mithraeum, the seat of the First Reborn! The Sanctuary of the Emperor of the Nine Houses, the bolthole of God"

I don't want to sound like gideon

I really don't

but I have to be entirely honest here

I read that sentence twice, at separate times

and neither of those times did I read "bolthole"

MOVING ON

harrowberry is settled in a room which was made for a lyctor that never was

I don't know if this is at all important but it caught my eye

I wonder what happened there

and I am, as we have established, fixating on very particular things

the emperor johnny bravo has a room that's described as a locked tomb, but harrow says that, unlike the other locked tomb, she's not interested to see what's in this one

on the one hand, I want to know what this guy's actually doing but, on the other, I don't care about what's going on in his intimacy

harrow is also surprised that he gets embarrassed

which I don't, because he should be embarrassed and ashamed about all of the stuff that is going on in general

I don't know specifics and I don't know details, but I know he's at fault

like we say over here, I've got no evidence but I've got no doubt

he tells harrowbean about the BOE

he says they hate the nine houses and that they have agents who turn planets against them

they got themselves a leader about 25 years before harrow was born, who made things more difficult for johnny man

let's bring back the timeline I'm constantly discarding and bringing back

we've been told now that: this leader showed up 25 years before harrow was born, they disappeared nearly 20 years ago and gideon was born 18 years ago in space to a mom who was brain dead upon arriving at ninth

there's also the whole eggs thing that idk if it has something to do with this or not but we're not totally throwing anything away here

we've moved from a cork board to a 3d model at this point

emperor johnny boo is blaming these people for not!dulcinea going ballistic

idk johnny man, you kind of fucked that up on your own I think, but go off, I guess

he also says that the BOE folks hate necromancers and necromancy

I don't wanna be making assumptions with little to no info (literally all I've been doing) but all I've seen so far is these people teaching harrow to kill planets

that's not what miss frizzle told me I should be doing when she wore the most iconic looks in television history

maybe if the emperor dressed like this I'd be trusting him more

emperor johnny also clocked harrow being a ninth kid smoothie

because harrow was doing theorems in the river and only one other person ever did that before

the person who founded the sixth

we're ok with the sixth because camilla came from there

when harrow starts telling him the smoothie story, the emperor says "This was...all so different...before we discovered the scientific principles" and proceeds to tell her that her parents basically did a mini resurrection

he says "I have committed the same act, and I know the price I had to pay" and calls her "a walking miracle"

to which harrow responds "I have just told you that I am the product of my parents' genocide"

emperor, my man

he says "nobody has to know" about the kid smoothie

there sure are a lot of things people aren't supposed to know or ask about over here in the emperor's bolthole

*me, high fiving gideon's force ghost*

he says the initials of BOE mean "blood of eden" and that Eden is "someone they left to die"

then he quotes shakespeare??? I think king lear???

“How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is To have a thankless child”, that quote

I'm not super knowledgeable when it comes to shakespeare tbh but...ominous

he also says "once you turn your back on something, you have no more right to act as though you own it"

and harrow thinks "at the time, that had made perfect sense to you"

that's pinned under the "hope for later" category

NEXT CHAPTER

harrow talks to ice cube barbie in her dreams

ice cube barbie says she's died twice

THEN, AND THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT

harrow asks her if she has ortus's eyes or if her eyes are hers and what her eyes are like

and ice cube barbie says "she asked me not to tell you"

this is me, adding another thing to the "hopeful hints for gideon" shrine I am building

chapter 16

harrow asks yandere twin about her diary and she says it has been burned on her own orders

more hints for my theory of past!harrow knowing a lot and planning ahead

harrowcita calls lyctortus (name suggested by the reply gang, thank you reply gang) "the other one"

which could be "other" as in "other lyctor" or as in "other ortus", so it's fine either way

harrow is worried about not!dulcinea still being a threat

AREN'T WE ALL

AREN'T WE ALL

I SURE AM, ALWAYS

she should have been flushed into space

harrow thinks not!dulcinea is moving and yandere twin calls her "crazycakes"

then we start going a bit more in depth about augustine

I have come to understand that he isn't called "saint of patience" because he's patient

he's called "saint of patience" because that's what you have to practice when you're around him

good god, this man

he has the charisma of the fifth but the disagreeable nature of the eighth

here I am, making judgment on these people I only know like 2 representatives of, but anyway

he's like if magnus hadn't discovered a passion for baking and had instead decided his hobby was to be passive aggressive and thinking too highly of himself

his cav was his brother, apparently

harrow thinks he's hollow inside

he is absolutely horrendous to mercygirl

BUT, MOST IMPORTANTLY

he also alludes to not!dulcinea moving and thinks mercygirl is doing it

I don't know about this, you guys

two mulders in one recap is what you get when I have been forced to not read for a couple days

I think fox mulder represents my energy in these recaps

Augustine The Unpleasant mentions that johnny j has "spent the last 10 thousand years on a perpetual search-and-destroy mission out of, as far as I can tell, purely symbolic retribution"

great, that sounds fantastic for god to do

and that "I wouldn't set myself up as his replacement A.L. He doesn't need another bodyguard, and even she was significantly more lucid than you are" (you being mercygirl)

I had mentioned the possibility of ice cube barbie being this AL person, we still don't know, but this AL is "she"

let's put that in the 3D model

augustine calls chad a "nice boy", which tracks for him being a Senior Chad

he treats harrow badly, which we absolutely don't stan over here in the harrow respect corner

harrow obliterates him with a comeback and he calls her Anastasia (You were born in a palace by the sea / A palace by the sea? Could it be?) like the previous ninth

these people love comparing their old pals to everyone they meet, even if they supposedly didn't get along much

harrow also makes fun of yandere twin for being what gideon would call "a weenie" over augustine

then we get the augustine and johnny explanation of how to kill the beast

I am all for information but this whole thing gives me the worst vibes

basically he says the beasts (disrespectful name) eat planets like oysters and then keep the thanergy as armor

the beast can inhabit anything it's thanergetically connected to it via their death

like that which they kill

they travel as river projections

they have agents, which he describes like the borg in star trek

individual forms connected to its hive

the whole lyctor thing, having a necromancer's ability with a cav's training to take over the body, seems to be a key to fighting these things

because the necro part goes down into the river to do the thing and the cav can take over the defense of the body

this, I think, could be what we saw harrow doing in the prologue, the projection thing

but harrow's body isn't protected, because she's "lyctor lite"

because there's hope for gideon or so help me john

which might be why yandere twin was telling her she would not be guarded if she did what she was about to do

I am very intrigued as to what harrow will come to know to push her to do what she did

also, she got stabbed, so I'd like to know if she's fine

but we have 0 guarantees of anything over here in the mithrandir or whatever

the emperor's bolthole

god, what has gideon done to me

they say the point of the combat is to throw the beast's soul into the abyss and hope it doesn't come back

that's what I've been trying to do with not!dulcinea all this time

ALSO still no camilla

see you next time and thank you for not hating the length of these things ♥

[papaziggy-devblog]

What would your RO's options be of the DoL RO's?

This is going to take so long why would you do this to me? OTL

Harper:

Kylar: Probably similar to Xavier... Bully but more in a cousin-ly sort of way... Would play games with, Would carry by the scruff like a stray cat

Whitney: On sight, throwing hands, no questions asked

Sydney: Makes Harper itchy :\

Robin: Who's lost child is this? Doesn't know really what to do with him... Would default to playing fortnight with... Possibly friends on Roblox?

Avery: Thinks he's weird, is loaded himself so not impressed, which I'd imagine would annoy Avery

Eden: Would probably never meet unless Eden lived near the camp cause Harper would never willingly spend any amount of time in the woods unless it involved MC

Alex: Probably banned from the farm for saying 'I wanna be a cooowboyy baby' one too many times

Malik

Kylar: "Oh great.. another fuckin' weirdo"

Whitney: Avoids if possible but probably has been targeted a few times, has probably tricked him into eating laxities at one point as retaliation

Sydney: Is chill with... C!Syd would probably fit into the friend group p alright, always returns his science textbooks at the very last second though

Robin: Goes older brother mode

Avery: Doesn't even bother, hates guys like Avery

Eden: Would 100% avoid at all cost

Alex: Don't really have any strong opinions on

Gavin

Kylar: Feels kinda bad he's always alone... probably would try to interact with? Check up on here and there? You ok buddy?

Whitney: Would be absolutely terrified of... would avoid at all cost

Sydney: Would hit on both P! and C!

Robin: Would help with the lemonade stand

Avery: Feels very uneasy around

Eden: Also terrified of

Alex: Not allowed on the farm anymore, but only cause the chickens bully him too much

Sophie

Kylar: Also feels kinda bad he's always alone... maybe brings him a snack here and there

Whitney: Whitney very quickly realized he was out of his depth.. For once, pray for this man

Sydney: Thinks he's a sweetheart! Would be gentle with him <3.... Would not be gentle with C!Syd cause he's freaky like that... On a related note, is probably Sirris' #1 customer

Robin: Goes mom-friend mode, maybe dotes a little too much though

Avery: Avery wishes he could handle her

Eden: Would feel a bit bad about him being all alone in the woods, might also go mom-mode with, the thought of tiny little Sophie scolding him makes me giggle

Alex: Would think he's nice, I could see her liking to help with the animals

Cammie

Kylar: Is creeped out by him, stays away as far as possible

Whitney: Like Gavin, is terrified of him, avoids at all cost

Sydney: Thinks he's really nice! Would be very easily flustered by C!Syd though

Robin: Would probably get along the best with tbh, I see them being sweet friends uvu

Avery: Ducking through alleyways to avoid, leave her alone pls

Eden: Is never stepping foot in the forest ever again qvo

Alex: I could see her volunteering at the farm! Probably helping with smaller livestock

Jazz

Kylar: Keeps a close eye on him, very suspicious

Whitney: Having absolutely none of his BS... Probably suplexes him at one point

Sydney: No strong opinions of, happy he's not much of a trouble maker

Robin: .... Are we sure this isn't one of the campers?

Avery: Shoots him down point blank and tells him to piss off

Eden: Battle for dominance lmao

Alex: Probably has some sort of deal going where campers can come to his farm for educational stuff

Dante

Kylar: 'ThatBoyAin'tRight'

Whitney: Has probably punched him out

Sydney: No strong opinions of tbh

Robin: Dad mode

Avery: Just turns and walks away without saying anything

Eden: Staring into the camera like in the office

Alex: Don't really see much interaction between the two

[scekrex]

Cute idea!

Adam who's a very crafty guy, like a headcannon that I told you about where he was the one who created blue prints for the Exterminators' masks and his own, and his axe/guitar. Reader just going out for an outing with friends and comes back to find Adam just tinkering with his mask and creating blue prints for a few other things he'd like to have and he doesn't hear reader coming in, so he gets spooked when reader just wraps his arms around him and asks him what he's doing since he never really told him about his creative side.

Love you ❤️

Babes I adore you for your prompts like dzzcdhcz this is so lovely and tbh I kinda got carried away and we get some soft Adam w this one - maybe a little ooc but I feel like it fit the vibe. I love you too <3

Let the sun set on your life and I'll make, oh I'll make you mine

pairing: Adam x male!reader

warnings: language

note: not beta read bc fuck you I don't have beta readers

You were quite surprised when you came home and the apartment was quiet, no Adam jumping up from the couch to greet you like an eager golden retriever, no complaining on why you got home so late. The only noise that was heard was the rustling of paper and you believed the sound of sanding something down.

When you entered the living room you understood why. Adam was sitting at the desk you two had placed in the corner of the room - the first man had said he needed it in case Sera wanted any work done. The desk itself was covered in blueprints you had never seen before, blueprints of countless exterminator masks - had Adam made them himself? Probably.

The brunette was so focused on his doing that he didn't even notice you, he was clearly very concentrated on his task - a thing Adam did rarely, it was cute to see him like that. Yet you wondered why Adam had never told you about his creative side when it seemed to play such a big part in his life. With slow, quiet steps you walked up on him, wrapped your arms around his hips and rested your chin on his shoulder as you watched him tinkering - well that had been the plan at least. Adam not only flinched at the sudden contact, he straight up screeched, dropping the sandpaper and the horn he had been working on.

“The fuck babes,” he complained as he turned his head slightly in your direction, “You can't fucking sneak up on a guy like that.” You just grinned at him, amused by his reaction you placed a soft kiss on the tip of his nose, “Yet I just fucking did.” Adam grumbled something as he tried to hide his project as best as he could, Adam's best wasn't good enough for you though, your eyes caught onto it pretty quickly. “That’s my exterminator mask,” you spoke with pure amazement and pointed to an older looking blueprint, the brunette simply nodded. “And this is yours,” that earned you another nod. “You made these things from scratch?” and for a third time Adam did nothing but nod at your words. You pulled back a little, one arm remained wrapped around his hips as you came up next to him to get a closer look. It amazed you that Adam made all of this - yeah he was a creative guy, he was a musician after all, but this? You didn't know your boyfriend was a crafty guy. Your eyes lightened up as you spotted the blueprint for his guitar, “You made your guitar yourself?” The leader of the exorcists grinned down at you, “Yeah, y'know back in Eden I had a guitar, had made that baby myself. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever made. So when I got to heaven I wasn't allowed to bring my girl with me, so I made a new one.”

You grabbed the blueprint that featured the battle ax version of his guitar, looking over it only to realize how many details Adam had included. Your eyes were roaming over the sheet of paper in awe, you knew he loved his guitar, he made that quite obvious, but you didn't know he loved it that much. The first man shot you a proud smile as he he'd a certain blueprint in one of a certain mask. “And what are you currently working on?” you reached for the mask that was laying on the desk but Adam slapped your hand away, “It’s not fucking finished yet.” That was all you got before he began to neatly sort the blueprints and put them back in the drawer, the mask remained on the desk, mainly because it was too big for the drawer.

“Besides what the fuck took you so long? You've kept me waiting for fucking forever,” ah there was your bitchy boyfriend you loved so much. “Oh y'know, just out with the bros, we kinda lost track of time.” Adam huffed as he got up from the chair he had been sitting on and wrapped his hands around your body, pulling you in, “That fucking so? Sounds like someone should make it fucking up to me for forgetting about me.” You grinned up at him wickedly as you slowly dropped to your knees, “Mhm, maybe I should.”

-

“Where the fuck are we going,” you complained as you playfully hit Adam's head. A good hour ago the first man had blindfolded you - with consent of course - had lifted you up so that you were sitting on his shoulder and had left the apartment like that. “Just shut the fuck up and wait, it'll be fucking worth it.” You weren't doubting that at all, you trusted the brunette with your life, but you were also painfully impatient. You just wanted to ask again as he stopped. He carefully lifted you off his shoulder. Then he lifted the blindfold from your eyes.

You were on top of the highest building in heaven - the spot of your first date with Adam. And you had arrived just in time to watch the sun set, covering heaven in the most perfect looking golden glow. Your eyes flickered to him as you noticed movements in the corner of your eyes and you stopped breathing for a moment as you watched him getting down on one knee. He wouldn't- no, he wouldn't. Adam had told you countless times that he would never get married again, not after Eden. And yet he kneeled there, right in front of you.

“Babes, we both know I suck at this entire ‘communicating my feelings’ shit,” he began and you grabbed his sleeve to pull him back on his feet again - it didn't work, he continued to kneel there. “Fuck, I have never enjoyed someone's company as much as yours okay? I fucking love you, enough to rot out all of hell just for you if you'd ask. And I don't wanna fucking lose you again,” he pulled one hand from behind his back, revealing a exterminator mask - the one he had been working on yesterday. But it was finished now, it looked like the perfect combination between your own mask and Adam's mask. “I want you to become the fucking second commander of the exorcists,” he explained the meaning behind the new designed mask. And suddenly it made an awful lot of sense. Why it looked like both of your masks combined, why he had been working on this thing for only God knows how long. You wanted to reach for the mask and accept but Adam pulled it from your fingers and slapped your hands away, “Be fucking patient, I'm not done yet.” You chuckled a little but did as you were told. Adam inhaled sharply, he was visibly struggling to get the following words out, but eventually his eyes met yours and he spoke, “I don't just want you to be that though - fucking second commander. Nah babes. I want you to be my husband,” there was a pause, a glimpse of fear was visible in his eyes and gleamed at you.

He was scared you'd reject him.

Of course he was after everything he had been through and yet he had enough courage to ask you to marry him. He had healed enough to ask you to be his husband, knowing quite well how his last two marriages had ended. But the first man trusted you with his life. And you thanked him for that in silence as you dropped to your knees. You took the mask from his shaking hands and placed it gently in your lap as you pulled him in for a kiss. The brunette's beautiful golden wings were shaking and you just noticed that it wasn't just his wings, it was his entire body. The wings covered in golden feathers spread and wrapped around you, pulled you in a little closer as Adam worshiped your lips with his own.

“Fucking yes, Adam. I'd be an idiot to say no to marrying you,” the smile your words caused was indescribably beautiful, it was full of confidence - not the confidence Adam put up for heaven, to mask his scars and bury his true emotions deep, but real confidence. The brunette's forehead rested against yours and you placed a soft kiss on top of the tip of his nose. “I love you too Adam,” you hummed in a soft, calming tone and you noticed how your words and actions alone were able to make the fear in his eyes disappear.

Adam wasn't able to remember the last time he had been this happy. Maybe when he had met you for the first time? Or when he had officially got the privilege to brag about you being his boyfriend? No. None of these events compared to what he was feeling then and there. It was special, unique, just like you were. And he was happy you wanted him for all eternity.

[d-apperc-adaver]

FORTUNE

Green. Viridescent. It was the first colour his eyes saw and even if we were to take arbitrary guesses, it would be the last he’ll see, for he surrounds himself with green.

At first, it wasn’t ‘bout money. Truly, you could say it was never. It was about the riches of the old farts creation! it was helping and giving, and making art of trees that could conquer even the most steepest plains, that could grow tall and proud, plants of a million kinds each one of them strange or beautiful and birds of the paradise that flew like phantasms whisperings songs of holy news. It was Eden.

He always got attached to objects. I mean, if your parental figure would overlook your help you’d try harder, but cope in the lost moments of loneliness, with what you have left.

He loved his vast forests. But what he loved the most was the big dirt patch the geezer conjured on the more neglected, lower side of the planet, and he made sure that it would get the same treatment as the rest of the creations. But what was most curious about this, is that the objects he got attached to were usually of his own making. Not that he couldn’t accept gifts back then, but he just knew he didn’t deserve them.

And when he got to hell he made the greed ring in its image.Just like the Great Architect did with those humans. Of course he couldn’t replicate it or even get close to the creativity he had back than, his mind was far decayed by insects now.

He used to hate the fact that whatever he did he could not get rid of his siblings teases of how he was acting by the patern of the old geezer, take Fizzarolli and the clown pageant for example. But now he just doesn’t care anymore. He ruined one more bond, no, two. And he could care less.

For now, I can only give you a question, which the answer for might be in this very text :

“What does greedy man want?”

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AHOY HOY! authors notrs! Genuinely dont know how to feel about this. So I got my inspiration from “A fallen Family“ by Anglotorn on ao3 (which got recomended to me by a lovely person in the comments of a post here on tumblr) which WAS GREAT (possible bias cause I have an oc that lives in the envy ring with a scottish accent which ties into the respectives story choice to make Leviathan have a scottish accent :] )

But ANYWAY!! Having the sins come out of the mob spawner at the beging of hell is kinda boringgg.🤑🤑🤑 i mean man. Wheres the real deal, ANGST. No owl soap opera melodrama.

And tbh Im a firm believer in “every character should have a reason“ on big choices (like not something out of your control, or talking without thinking, ehich usually has a resosbn too, despite unconscious)

ANYWAYE HOPE YOU ENJOYD GUIZ!!

[starry-eyed-wild-child]

~ honey, you're familiar, like my mirror years ago ~

kappa x reader

summary: after kappa and his cult had broken into your house, you began to lose your mind. you saw him even in your dreams. and that just doesn't sit right with you. the family knew about what happened - feeling as though the twisted romance was only just at the genesis.

warnings: swearing (like one word), not too much in this one tbh

You'd hoped you'd see him again. You knew he'd be thinking of you, wherever he was. His love and passion were so sincere that you just knew.

Everything seemed so... empty. He'd left his mark on the place, it's like everywhere you'd look had been touched by him. Explored and even ruined by him. The soothing voice of Stevie Nicks played in your empty home from your record player. You sipped your coffee as you hoped and prayed to a God you weren't even sure you believed in.

Though he was thinking about you. Nothing pained him more than having to leave you last night. He didn't sleep at all. He'd made love to you, watched you fall asleep and kept watching until he had to leave. He placed the note on your bedside table, giving one hesitant kiss on your forehead before leaving you to wake up alone.

The family had noticed, though most didn't speak on it.

"Why don't you pay me attention anymore?" Theta huffed to Kappa, sitting around the bonfire they'd set up in an excluded campsite.

"I've been distracted." he replied dryly, not even turning his attention away from the fire to look at her. "That's all."

He couldn't help but think of you, his mind lingering on the last kiss he'd given you. He wondered where you were, what you were doing, if you missed him. Kappa glanced over at Theta, smiling as he gauged her irritated expression. He almost laughed to himself at the sight but managed to keep his composure.

It was pathetic, really, how desperate she was. He'd never loved her, despite what delusion she believed. Kappa loved and respected all his followers, they were a 'family' but some of them really knew how to push his buttons sometimes.

Theta scoffed as he tried to hold back his laughter. The family could feel the tension, so thick you could cut it - they all knew where Kappa had been last night. Kappa thrived off the jealousy, a smirk nearly crossing his face. They could all have his attention, but not like he'd been giving his angel last night. That was all for you.

"Distracted by what?" Theta accused, "the pretty little angel you had crying for you?" Theta sneered annoyed, making the group go into shock and Kappa raise a brow at the audacity. Nobody ever questioned Kappa, ever. They all knew better. And now with you in the picture, they wouldn't dare. He'd flaunt and declare his love for you in a heartbeat - he was utterly obsessed with you.

"Jealousy doesn't suit you, Theta." he said, turning away from her eyes. "M' not yours, never was."

"What did you even do to her?" Theta asked, taking a swig of wine, knowing she wouldn't like the honest answer. The thought of Kappa being intimate with someone else made her stomach churn. Jealousy really didn't suit her. "Hm? She even make you feel good?" she asked with a mocking tone.

Kappa didn't answer her question, though it made him chuckle maliciously. He threw his head back with a laugh as the family remained silent. Kappa was terrifying when he was angry - and they really didn't want to see him lose his temper right now.

Theta knew what he'd done. She knew from the moment he ordered them to leave what was going to happen. The look on your face when you escorted them out sarcastically said everything - only fuelling her anger. Her jealousy. The family knew that Theta was speaking out of spite and impulse, knowing nobody would dream of addressing their leader like that.

They all knew it wasn't just some one night thing - he was obsessed. He'd fallen in love. A sick, flawed and possessive love.

"You loved me... I know you did. Everyone knows it."

Nobody in the family had the heart to tell Theta otherwise. That Kappa didn't care for her like that. They all saw the way he dismissed her flirtatious advances, how he'd rejected her multiple times over. That he was never hers and she'd never be the one that he wanted.

"Really?" Kappa replied, laughing once more as he looked over at her. "Is that what you thought? No wonder you've been so angry with me." he smiled at her, looking at her up and down. "I don't know what gave you that idea."

Theta shook her head in disbelief, firm in her beliefs. "You welcomed me into the family... you wanted me." she spat, not wanting to come to terms with reality. The reality that he wasn't hers to love.

"Yes, and you're a valued member, Theta," he said with a smile, "I've never said otherwise."

Sigma and Epsilon shared a whisper, watching both amused and scared. Neither had dared tell Theta that their leader never wanted her like she did him. It was such an unlikely possibility that they'd hoped Theta would discover it out on her own.

"She's not one of us... she wouldn't join if she had the choice." Theta huffed.

At this, Kappa chuckles lowly. He remembered how you practically begged him to join the family. How you wanted so desperately to be with him.

"And what if I want her here, Theta? Hm? What happens if I ask her to join our family?"

"Then I leave..." she spoke finally. The group, however, didn't take her threat seriously. She wouldn't leave - she couldn't. Once you joined the family, you never left.

"Fine by me." he replied nonchalantly, surprisingly calm. He looked back down at the fire before addressing Theta. "You'd be willing to leave? You'd sacrifice our family because I want her to join?"

Theta wasn't expecting that response. She'd assumed that Kappa wouldn't want to give any of the members up and so was disheartened that he'd let her go that easily. She shook her head, defeated.

"No... I wouldn't leave." she mumbled, picking at her nails.

"Good girl," he replied, his tone low and playful. "We wouldn't want you to leave."

Kappa kept his eyes fixated on the flames, ignoring the way she looked at him. "Is she really that intimidating to you, Theta." His words were mocking and the rest of the family had to contain their laughter. Kappa, when in a humorous mood, was very entertaining to watch.

Theta shrugged. "What is there to be intimidated by?"

"Huh... is that what you really believe? or are you just trying to convince yourself that she's not the one I want?"

Theta shook her head again, the reality just not kicking in for her. She wasn't convinced. He didn't know you - not really.

"She's not the one you want... you don't know her! And you wanna let her join the family?" Theta scoffed, "you don't know what the fuck you want... she doesn't belong here. She's not one of us."

"She will be..." Kappa replied dryly, not wanting to give Theta the satisfaction.

He loved knowing that you were everything the cult symbolised. He got off on it. On the envious stares that you brought. You were a free spirit - wild and carefree, young and full of life waiting to be lived. Kappa would have you in the cult, and he wasn't prepared to settle for anything less. He told the family to get excited, to get ready to welcome the newest member.

"Letting a stranger join the family?... it's reckless." Theta choked out.

"Oh, she's no stranger... I felt as though I've lived a thousand lives, waiting for her in each and every one... she's familiar."

Theta huffed out, rolling her eyes subtly.

"You haven't come to terms with reality, Theta... but don't worry, sugar, I'll teach her everything she needs to know."

[sparklingsora]

Hi. I would like to know many things about your roleswap au bc I love it very much but I have no idea what to ask I just want to know many things bc my brain has been consumed already

uhhhhh I guess can you lore dump a little bit on backstories? Idk I just wanna know everything about this au

I will be back in your ask box for this au several times most likely

-Spaghetti Brain Anon

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ASK!!! i am SO glad that i could get this au to live in someone else's brain rent free too. all i could ever ask for in life tbh i guess i'll infodump about character backstories, dynamics, character arcs, all that juicy stuff putting it under cut because HO BOY THIS IS GONNA GET LONG

as a heads up, take the timeframes i give you with a grain of salt, because i still havent completely figured out the timeline so first of all, vox!! he's a sinner, died in the 1950s, as per canon. he's a businessman, but less stable than in canon. he's always jumping from job to job, business to business, which results in him having a lot of connections with various people around hell. soon after arriving in hell, he met and became friends with alastor. cut to, i'd say around 7-10 years before the events of the story? alastor disappears without a trace during an extermination and vox assumes him dead. having now been personally touched by the effects of the extermination, the idea to try and solve overpopulation another way is planted in his head, but wont come to fruition until much later. in the meantime he meets velvette - finds her bleeding out in an alleyway after getting too cocky and trying to fight back to an exorcist (bad idea). he nurses her back to health, they become friends and eventually start dating, yada yada yada. one day vox and velvette find a funky little cat (keekee). keekee takes a liking to them and leads them to the old ruins of a building up on the hill on the edge of pentagram city. they figure out that the cat turns into a keyblade that can be used to magically build shit (only the hotel though, as keekee is the spirit of the hotel or??? whatever the hell the canon lore is idk???) vox finally decides to realize his idea to try and solve overpopulation more humanely - through redeeming sinners! his reasoning is, if angels can fall (as proven by lute and charlie), then demons can surely ascend, right? though he's not as sure or idealistic about it as charlie is in canon. he simply thinks it has a chance of working, and opening up a hotel means a bigger sample size than if he were to just try and get into heaven himself or something like that. besides, he wouldnt wanna go to heaven, he likes it here. also, im not sure where this is situated in the timeline yet, but he was in a band with adam, lute and possibly eve at some point? the band is called brimstone eden, as mentioned in the comic i posted. im not sure yet whether he was in the band prior to eve's disappearance or after it (eve disappears 7 years before the story starts to mirror canon lilith). swap!vox, like his canon counterpart, is a very reactive person. he follows trends, he's extremely go-with-the-flow to a fault. he never really had any strong beliefs until the hotel - his character arc mainly involves him gaining something to believe in and learning to fight for that belief, 'ready for this' being more or less the culmination of his arc. jesus christ i cant believe i wrote that much JUST on vox. *slaps the top of his head* this boy can fit so much lore in him

now, velvette... she's how you'd expect her to be. same old brave, arrogant velvette. she's a fashion designer and seamstress and runs a moderately sized business which she promotes on sinstagram. she's mutuals with val there, which is how he finds out about the hotel. there's not much to write home about when it comes to val - it's insane how similar angel and him are. like literally barely anything changes when you swap them, it's very clean. he's a prn star, sold his soul to angel dust, yada yada. though a bit on his dynamic with vox - vox is very good at reading people, and doesn't like being lied to (he's a bit of a hypocrite in that regard - he puts on a facade all the time when in professional settings). he can clearly tell val isnt doing as good as he pretends he is, and wants to help him really badly, but val just sees it as vox pitying him and rejects his help (its what they fight about in ep 4, as a counterpart to the whole "charlie going to the studio" thing bc vox wouldnt do that) and now here's the fun part - ALASTOR! oh, alastor, you beautiful stuck up bitch! so turns out, he's not so dead after all! he ALMOST died in that fateful extermination, but husk found him and offered him a "give me your soul right now or bleed out in this alleyway" type deal. of course alastor chose the former, but boy he's not happy about it. he's extremely ashamed of how far he's fallen. so ashamed, in fact, that he hid from the world for those 7-10 years! yeah! he's only pulled out of hiding when husk summons him to be the bartender for the hotel. vox is of course, extremely bewildered and demands answers. alastor doesnt give them and avoids him instead. it takes a sincere conversation with valentino in ep 4 for alastor to finally talk to vox again and explain himself. alastor is basically in extremely deep denial of just how fucked his life is. he clings onto his radio demon persona like a lifeline bc its the last thing that can help him feel some semblance of control over his situation. his tension with valentino is twofold - first they butt heads because of opposing personalities, and second because they both see the other's bullshittery. it's a clusterfuck it eventually bubbles over in ep 4, they both admit how absolutely fucked they are and are friends now. wish i could say more on al & val bc i love them very much but it seems ive run out of eloquency for now. though i know i'll draw some comics of them eventually so maybe it'll come across better in comic form. anyway as mentioned above ive run out of eloquency and im honestly not sure how coherent this whole thing is so you'll have to come back for the other characters some other time, dear anon! until then, thank you so much for the ask once again, and have a nice day/night :)

[tomorrowsgardennc]

Seed Sourcing Guide: An Opinion

i was listening in on a seed saving nerd zoom meeting last night when one of the best quotes ever said was said said: "the best seed 'store' is your own backyard." and the lady is totes right. downside is... you gotta source the seeds before you start saving them. with it being seed buying season, and a lady totally saying the best quote for any and all seed nerds to fuel my drive to finally sit down and write this, i have come up with:

tier list for seed sourcing websites NOT SPONSORED BTW

✨ top tier best tier ✨

ok so, i never really heard of true leaf until last year. but i have been sourcing almost all of my seeds from them since! they're not the same grow zone as me, but utah has some of the best soil in the nation so maybe that's why their seeds are the absolute best when it comes to germination. they also have a huge variety of seeds, all gorgeously designed in a quick-to-understand format (like their icons for heirloom versus hybrid, container friendly or not, etc.) their information is all legit and comprehensive as shit. my microgreen farmer friend gets all his microgreen seeds from here, too. couldn't recommend them enough!

if your looking for tomatoes specifically, then tomatofest is legit the best. they were recommended to me a few years ago by my farmer mama, and legit they are the best for any and all tomato types. if i ever need a new tomato variety, this is where i go no matter what. if they don't have it, then must not be worth growing. germination rate is always high, the plants come out great, and always fast with shipping.

i have not met a home gardener or farmer friend who doesn't have hoss in their seed library. their selection is small and their website is mid, but damn do they have the best germination rates out there along with the healthiest looking plants i ever did done see or grow. and tbh that's really what matters at the end of the day - not the germination rates, or shipping, or quantity, but rather how the vegetable or fruit plant thrives and produces. and hoss ticks off all those boxes beautifully.

😐 middle tier is mid 😐

eden brothers is mid tier only because i have attempted to germinate about 12 different seed types from them over the past 5 years and never have i ever gotten anything better than 10% germination rate. but their BULBS, their bulbs are absolutely amazing! if i need a flowering bulb to add to my cut flower garden, then this is where i source them from. never any issues with molded bulbs, and they grow true to what they say they will and how (so information is accurate). just... don't bother with the seed section.

i really truly and honestly and want to put renee's garden seeds in top tier... but i have tried over 20 different herb seeds from renee's and the herbs just never germinate. ever! the flowers, amazing. the vegetables, pretty good. selection, absolutely amazing. but the herbs, bro i don't know where they're sourcing their herbs from but it ain't happening. at least for me. maybe others more north would have better luck.

grow organic is great for supplies such as fertilizers and such, but not so much for seeds. i sourced my California softneck garlic from them and they were wonderful. i've had another farmer friend say she gets all her onion starts from them as well and her onions are phenomenal. but i've tried only 3 seed varieties from them with decent germination but didn't live long at all. if you're looking for tubers or vegetable bulbs, then totes. otherwise, be weary of the seeds even if the germination is great. (me thinks they save seeds regardless of how the plant lived, compared to saving seeds only from healthy plants.)

💀 worst tier don't bother 💀

johnny seeds used to be my go to for seeds when i was only focused on transplants. this was because they're the only one who sells in bulk, and honestly that's the only perk for them. you have to buy their seeds in bulk to get any decent germination out of them. but if you want 200 basil plants, then buying 500 basil seeds from them will be just fine. if you just want 2 basil plants, then don't even look at this website. they have one of the best seed starting soil mixes, but the shipping costs more than the soil. and they have some nice supplies. but this is a seed tier list, not a supplies tier list.

hopefully the fiasco with the purple galaxy tomato in January of 2024 has shed some light to how bad this company is, but if not then i'm including them on this list. they were pretty bad before that, but at least they live up to their name. i have sourced a few vegetables from them, but only because nobody else had them. which honestly should be a red flag. BUT c'est la vie, i bought seeds from them 3 years ago and haven't gone back. they're overpriced, germination rate is OK but considering the price tag their germination rate should be better and they're not. they try to pull themselves off as the "small guy" when they're clearly not.

https://www.burpee.com/

burpee seed company is legit the worst. they're so bad that a link to their website breaks tumblr and makes my tier list look ugly. they might lure you in with their gorgeous website, and with the huuuuge variety they have. but the website NEVER works, the varieties are almost 99% hybrids that don't grow or produce well, and the germination rate is abysmal. yes, they sell in all major and minor box stores but that's because capitalism, not because they're the best. stay. away.

🏅 honorable mention 🏅

so first off, let me say i have never bought from this website. but i have been gifted many seeds from them from several people. not sure if that's good or bad, hence the honorable mention category.

the seeds i've been gifted from 3 different farmers, and they're all winter varieties. and they've all done amazing!! i did buy some flower and herb seeds from the local hardware store, and the seeds were acceptable for germination rate. i do not blame that on the company, though, since that hardware store is so old school that they don't even have A/C inside. creaky wood floors, smells like old metal, that kind of hardware store. so not the best environment to store seeds in. but i will be buying some for this year to try out directly from their website, seeing as how if 2 year old seeds germinate pretty good and ones stored in horrible conditions are OK then fresh from the source MUST be great!

📝 let me know who i forgot and where you would rank them 📝 plz thnx luv u

maybe i'll do a tier list for even smaller seed companies, like my size seed companies?? whatchu think?? i've only tried a few so it would force me to try out some more!

[dirtbagcore]

HELLO im thinking about your saiki k / spyxfamily au...... im so fascinated by this family dynamic. does kuriko still have all her powers, or just telepathy? in your comic it looks like she still does the telepathic communication which i LOVE. pairs well with anyas constant yapping...... also, if kuriko does have all her powers, how powerful is she? id imagine she'd be about at the level of 16-year-old saiki with limiters, since in the time travel episode he was a bit older and a bit stronger (but he also didnt have glasses so i guess he didnt have the power to turn people to stone yet? i wonder if there are other powers he unlocks later. its probably in the manga but im only halfway through 😭). man, just imagine the shenanigans those kids would get up to..... even just putting kuriko in anyas place would be hilarious, but then also throwing anya AND kuusuke into the mix???? these kids are gonna accidentally destroy the world lmfao

but im also fascinated by the dynamic of. anya and kuriko being siblings and knowing about each others powers, but no one else knows about them (except probably kuusuke?). cause like. kusuo originally can use his powers at home, so now he can use them less freely, but anya originally had NO ONE who knew about them and now she has 2 siblings who do, so she can use them more freely. which would probably result in an even more reserved kuriko and an even more outgoing anya. plus kuusukes inferiority complex would be doubled..... loid has no idea what he just got himself into lmao. just absolutely insane family dynamics all around im obsessed

ANYWAY sorry for yapping in your inbox but i would love to hear any other thoughts you have about this au..... if you wanna share.....

^((TLDR; [in my S×F / Saiki K crossover AU where kuriko & anya are twins] what are kurikos powers? what's the new family dynamic?))

HIII! ( ≧∀≦)ノ THANKS 4 THE ASK!!! v happy to answer, i was thinking kuriko would:

1. still have all her powers, and

2. they would be weaker than in canon since she got her limiters early⬇️

this obv includes the fact that she can remember all her time as an infant, so thinking of that (considering the vague experiments anya went thru in canon) i deffo think ur right about her being even more reserved ( ´,_ゝ`) </3 tho tbf anya being kuriko's voice and seeming (from an outside perspective) to always just KNOW what she wants, no matter how specific, sounds really freaking cute ( T∀T)

i imagine her other powers coming up in little scenes (+ prob main plot stuff but im not writing allat for a thought experiment lol)⬇️⬇️

overall, i think the family dynamic would be like this⬇️⬇️⬇️

kusuke wouldnt be threatened by anya cause all she can do is read minds, shes no genius on top of that. his relationship with kuriko tho, i feel like would be similar to how it was in canon, except that since kuriko is more fragile here, id imagine that she'd be less willing to indulge kusuke's games- leading him to harbour more genuine resentment, in turn leading her to kinda fear him. it'd make their dynamic more angsty than the og, but tbh i feel that that lends well to the new setting/kusukes new role.

i dont think kuriko would mind loid or yor, but since she can remember their bio parents (kuniharu & kurumi) better than anya, i dont think she'd be able to accept them as her parents right away, especially yor.

the only other thing i wanted to mention was:

how did kusuke get into eden without parents, you ask? (you didnt but--) YOU ASK?? well obvi its cause he's a super genius and probably achieved something so crazy that the schoolboard REALLY wanted him as an alum, so he completely skipped over the regular admission process. he would live in the dorms and probably avoided talking abt his parents entirely (cause who would share their personal trauma with ants??), leaving a very convenient spot for loid to slip into lol

anyway! thats basically it!! thanks again for the ask, hope at least some ppl appreciate our wall of text!! (me n you are like this 🤞 btw. YAPPING 🔛🔝🔥) ☆(゜∇^d)!!

[twost3ps]

That breakup!anon, more for the break up au

As the days go by after the break up, Adam is just becoming increasing fed up with Lucifer and the hotel crew. Lucifer's daughter, for some reason, decided to meddle, and drag the rest of the hotel in this shitshow. The worse thing is, he was never left alone, not to think, not to decompress, to think of something other then the break up.

In the end, Adam comes to the conclusion that if this group of people is trying to meddle with the fact he's trying to cut an element toxic to him out of his life, than those people do not deserve to be in his life. He's at the point of self awareness that he realize that he could just leave, leave and seek redemption elsewhere

Adam reach this enpiphany in the hotel lounge, getting a drink from bartender cat, the only one who knows how to mind his business, the moment he saw Lucifer in the corner of his vision, he decides, screw it, he's leaving now, with nothing but the clothes on his back to start over else where, just having clothes is already league above Eden

And, right outside the hotel is none other than Emily,.... and Michael

I love Charlie, but I do think she tries to solve problems blindly without really considering, like, everything. (Imo the hotel and redemption has a lot of holes to it)

I do think Husk and Angel would provide him space. I think they'd follow what Charlie said but then notice Adam's behavior enough to stop bothering him as much. As you said, husk can mind his own business, so he's shut down on the idea by the second time. Angel probably is convinced by Husk to stop. They got people who wanted to cut out as well.

Charlie is Charlie, she's understanding, but I think the drive to help her dad and Adam def causes more problems. Vaggie is up for what Charlie wants, but I'd think she'd later come to realize as well that Adam needs space and cuts him some slack. She's try to tell Charlie to back off tbh.

Alastor might understand what adam is doing but he's. Well. Him. So he's gonna pester adam a lot. He loves the drama and is for sure an instigator. And nifty is nifty, idk. Her personality I'd gremlin to me. Kinda a yes man to alastor so idk???? But she'd listen to charlie and try to meddle but it's like a flop every time.

Really, I think it's Alastor, Charlie, and Lucifur that just follow Adam around.

Ahh pookie bear. I want him happiness so badly xybeushsus. Pushed to the brink of not even stading somones presence hhhh baby you need some healing.

Thank god for Micheal amen

It's not everyone but the bothering is constant. And three people on your ass is a lot imo.

And Anon...

Darling

Write a fanfic. Please

PLEASEPLEASEPLWASEPLEASEPLEASE

BRO PLEASEGDGEBHDGDBDBSB 💀🙏🙏🙏🙏 The more you send the more isveysbjwgsbsb I get it's making me feral

[trans-queen-administrator]

So I reread interlude 29 and this quote from Fortuna really stuck out to me. The only way they were able to beat Eden was because she was the present fell away as she looked at the future, and this is pretty nice foreshadowing for how Scion will finally be killed. It isn't because Taylor has overwhelming offensive power, she tries that again and again in more and more creative ways and he shrugs it off, he only dies because she forced him to focus on the past, on what he lost, and made him get lost in the memories and grief of the past so he allowed himself to die. It also parallels Fortuna and Doctor Mother and all of Cauldron, in my opinion. For decades they operated with an unyielding focus on preventing the inevitable future, and I think they lost sight of the present just as much as the entities. Morals, any life outside their goal, everything slipped away from them because the future was so important and all consuming that they couldn't look away from finding solutions for it. Ultimately that's what allowed the Irregulars to raid the Cauldron base too, Contessa was so focused on the fight and their backup plans that she missed what was happening then and there.

And then of course it also parallels Taylor, because everything in Worm parallels Taylor somehow. She spent two years with an iron-set focus on the end of the world two years from then. She left behind her friends, became completely consumed by her goal, and generally did absolutely everything in service of preventing a future. Contessa, Eden, Taylor, all of them see a point in the future and abandon all morals to get there (although Eden doesn't really have any human morals to begin with but tbh this is more about Taylor and Contessa). They focus on a single goal and everything else in the world falls away because all that matters is them reaching that point in the future where they've succeeded. Contessa obviously through Path to Victory, but even outside the scope of her power she chose one goal and did absolutely everything in service of that goal. Taylor doesn't have something that gives her a clear path to her goal, but even still she finds one and everything that isn't part of the path ceases to matter. And then at the end when they reach their goal and the present falls back into focus, they both have to ask if it was worth it. And they know the answer, but even still they set another goal and do it all again.

[curseanon]

I’ve decided I’m just gonna be the sole crewmate on this battleship that is adam x eve, no issues here as im plenty used to serving in the armed forces in defense of rare ships. shipping something where we literally don’t even know what one of the people looks like tho is a whole new level-

anyway here’s some headcanons I thought of. special thanks to Abbie0129 on Twitter for her artwork that helped inspire some of these, if u ever see this post I love you

-the only thing adam and eve were able to take out of eden with them (besides clothes) was a set of flower crowns that they made for each other and basically acted like their wedding rings in the garden. the crowns were blessed by the angels to stay preserved and they allowed them to keep them. it’s the only thing they have left of Eden (king and queen of this little slice of paradise on earth ugh)

-Eve was sent to hell because Roo (or whatever this force of evil we saw depicted in the storybook with the big red eyes and creepy smile) influenced her into eating the fruit (hence the red smile. shoutout to another similar theory I saw on twitter that said Roo only made eve eat the fruit and then left her alone, before moving on later to target Lilith, hence the similar smile on that card. So Roo is different from Eve and Lilith but influenced them both). Maybe Roo’s influence was still on her when she died? Idk

-Abel though, I have an interesting thought. My current take is that if he’s in the show and not retconned, he went to hell because despite his efforts to please the angels, he was acting more out of self gratification, at least in secret. Seeking the angels’ approval more than actually trying to be a good person. That and I think he died with enmity in his heart towards Cain (fair enough). But he wasn’t willing to forgive Cain’s actions, while he was dying or after his death. If he can’t do that, how can he expect his own sins to be forgiven? Granted this is more based on the Christian view of sin. Abel’s heart was not light as a feather, and he died hating his own brother, bitter, and unforgiving. Again, I do not expect this level of depth from Vivzie but that’s just my take lmao

-So that leaves Adam showing up in Heaven alone. Cain is probably still wandering the Earth tbh, but im open to him being more of a spirit now who can pass between earth and Hell. But Adam being alone becomes very damaging. After all, it is not good for man to be alone. He just chalks it all up to Lucifer and Lilith’s deception with the apple that created Hell, blaming them for all the evil that has happened on Earth and the loss of his family.

-When Adam comes back as a sinner in Hell, he eventually reunites with Eve (and Abel. And maybe Cain). They work through all the shit they’ve been through and decide to try again being a family. They harvest angelic metal from the weapons and have them fashioned into rings. Eve wears hers normally and Adam wears his on a necklace. They have matching inscriptions on the inside, where one says “flesh of my flesh” and the other “bone of my bone.” If u saw my other post mentioning this, you’re welcome ❤️

-Eventually they get redeemed and Sera welcomes them back with a little gift: the flower crowns from Eden🥰

[lemon-natalia]

Nona the Ninth Reaction - Chapter 1

oooh and now we have another countdown - this time its five days until the tomb opens! which is both concerning and mildly confusing given Harrow already opened the tomb

and a new image for the chapter header - not an animal skull or a skull at all but a cave with chains over it! presumably representing the tomb itself which in of itself is very intriguing

‘Late in the year of nobody she really thought of in particular’ hah, take that John

ok so Nona’s dreaming of a painted face … the first two immediate options that come to mind are Gideon and Harrow, clearly. in a body of water, could it be the River? or possibly, if the ‘her’ in ‘her hands’ she’s talking about is Alecto, it could be the saltwater of the tomb?

so far the first thing thats struck me is just how sweet the relationship between Nona and Camilla is 

‘A beaker of violently orange liquid, radioactively orange even in the dark’ what the fuck kinda eggs are these guys eating

and Nona has black hair! very long black hair which grows fast, which very much suggests that this is Harrow’s body, given what Ianthe did to her hair last book. this also pretty much rules out another initial theory i had for Nona, which was that she might have been in Gideon’s body, since we know that was picked up by the BoE last book

and another point for being some kind of amnesiac Harrow - Nona appears to have a lot of issues with eating 

Okay … so Camilla and Pal are sharing Camilla’s body, kind of a reverse of Gideon-in-Harrow last book, but not quite given that they somehow seem to have swapped each-others eye colours. it’s not just that they’re sharing a body, since Gid & Harrow explicitly retained their own eye colours, but some kind of other situation

hmm Nona seems relatively upbeat, but there’s a lot of conversation about militia links and black market goods, life wherever they are doesn’t seem all that great tbh

and they’re hiding something about the overall situation they’re in from Nona, and its very unclear whose side they’re on. given the end of the last book, the fact they seem to be in some kind of hiding on a non-House planet, I doubt they’re fully with the Emperor/Nine Houses. but then they definitely don’t seem to be onboard with, and have a very uneasy relationship with, the Blood of Eden, especially given the whole kinda-Lyctorhood situation they’ve got going on. 

and there’s an awful lot going on here. they keep mentioning a search and recovery mission, which begs the question for what exactly are they looking for. it can’t be the Tomb or anything because its pretty well known where THAT is. and Pal and Pyrrha have very different philosophies on whatever’s happening - Pal seems to want to help some kind of situation with people trapped in barracks, while Pyrrha thinks its not worth it. and on top of all of that BoE is not quite one cohesive group as it was described in HtN, there’s some kind of inter-organisational conflict going on. 

‘I know how to farm … I can teach you and Nona’ rip G1deon who never got to live his Stardew Valley dreams. Locked Tomb: the Farming Simulator when?

also it is interesting that even G1deon, seemingly the most loyal of the Emperor’s lyctors (or at least the only one seemingly not actively trying to kill him) still had a backup plan and wanted to run away to just lead some kind of a normal life

and they need masks of some kind? and Nona’s immune - more points for her being Harrow, or at least in Harrow’s body, Nona’s body clearly works like a Lyctors 

oh shit there’s a mysterious blue light in the sky that’s ‘periscoping’? It could be some kind of surveillance but i think its far more likely to be the seventh Resurrection Beast, which is there for … some reason? Lotta questions raised just in this one chapter

[chaifootsteps]

Okay, so jumping here. I've been thinking and imo the 'Lilith' is Eve in disguise and Rosie is Lilith theory still holds true. This is brought to you by me going "We know Viv is a shitty writer, so from the writing already available, where would she lead the plot NOW?" and by my tinfoil hat.

We know Lilith is somewhere in Heaven (maybe even in Eden itself). Unless she pulls the weirdest explanation out of her hat for why she took a small vacay for 7 YEARS abandoning her daughter (with whom we know she had a good relationship with, IF that part of the pilot is still true. She never stopped to explain what parts of the pilot are still true, ffs.), Lilith would never. I don't even think she:

1) Would be allowed in Heaven, even by making a deal with Adam.

2) Adam's pride is too big for him to simply accept such a deal and Lilith's pride would be equally big imo. This interaction would never work.

So that has to be Eve. And Adam *has* to know that that's Eve. Or he doesn't, idc. Point is, it's far more likely by normal logic for that to be Eve. By Viv logic...? Not so much.

Which brings me to my second point! Rosie and her character. I did kind of feel the Mary Poppins vibes a bit, ngl. Horrible redesign, but oh well... The way she reacted to Charlie, her going "yeah, singing totes works here, in the *cannibal* colony!" and her giving that love advice + "we all did things we aren't proud of" + the fact that she's a "hellborn"? She has to be Lilith, sorry. Also also I feel like cannibalism isn't even such a big deal??? In the show I mean. It's literally so cartoonish it simply becomes a hellish quirk for some inhabitants. Sure Alastor, you're a cannibal, boo-hoo. I don't feel threatened by any of them, is what I mean. And even irl, I feel like yeah, it's gross and most likely getting yourself sick, but what makes cannibalism truly bad is the act of *killing* that person, ye know? In Viv's Hell that can't even happen, they'll just respawn, no problem.

And my final reason issss: Viv just ran so fast past 4 seasons worth of plot that imo she backed herself info a corner. The only things keeping the plot going are...Alastor's deal and who he made it with. It's probably Roo or Eve (or Lilith if Rosie is just Rosie), but I have a feeling like it can't be so simple with her, she has to pull a super complicated sayan explanation to make it seem like she just had us all guessing the wrong things, she's suuuuch a literary genius. And she loves musicals a bit too much (Adam is literally just Beetlejuice minus everything interesting about him), so pulling a Sweeney Todd sounds very in-character for her.

Now, speaking of Alastor....I haaaate how she destroyed his character with all the swearing and the petty edgelord-ness. She's not smart enough to write a smart chaotic presence/maybe potential villain. There, I said it. She should open a psychology book or some shit (she should've hired psychologists to coach her about writing about topics such as SA, addiction, sadistic/criminal personalities and so on, but we know she never put such thought into her work). Or at least a sensibility reader for her plot, smh. The overall tone of the show is jumping around faster than a bunny on electrolytes.

And as always, Alastor and Rosie have more chemistry than Charlie and Vaggie literally the "main" couple. They seem like a 30s married couple, tbh.

Also also super confused about Alastor's microphone and how she can hand it over to Charlie??? Why would he do that??? Are we supposed to understand he now cares about her? Handling his (presumably from the Adam fight) source of power to her just like that?? TWICE?!?

I understand his final lyrics are supposed to be "holy shit, I almost died for these people, what is wrong with me???" in a nutshell (+ that part about the contract), but we were never SHOWN how he became more attached to them??? We just have to believe him based on the talks with Rosie and Niffty respectively. What a joke. (Niffty got partially restored in my brain, at least).

-idk, Broadcast🎭 anon- (I know I DMed u, but yea)

Honestly? Even if this leak never comes true the way Viv planned it back then, I for one am having a great time speculating.

[hwaightme]

In memoriam

THIS IS 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI FOR STAR'S SAKE (nsfw tags under the cut) (masterlist) (join taglist)

⚪ pairing: seonghwa x afab!reader ⚪ genre: angst (sorry seonghwa), smut, time leaping, magical realism ⚪ summary: what would you do to get your life back? what would you do, if you found out that you could turn back time? park seonghwa knows his answer, and does not care for the price he has to pay. ⚪ wordcount: 8.3k ⚪ warnings/tags: husband!hwa, language, implied major death, crying, time leaping, barista!san, magical cafe, turning back time, grieving, discussion of habits, a whole lot of coffee, hope, love, loss, lmk if anything else ⚪ taglist: @doom-fics @legohwas @acciocriativity @justhere4kpop @honey-lemon-goose @byuntrash101 @shakalakaboomboo @starillusion13 @hongthoven @cqndiedcherries @uwuheeseungie @hoshischeekss @frankenstein852 @charreddonuts @miriamxsworld ⚪ a/n: after severe ult bias wreck, I have been in a -state-, and after listening to suggested songs (under cut) + me generally loving the film The Girl Who Leapt Through Time and the book series Before The Coffee Gets Cold... this happened. Hope you enjoy, much love, all reblogs, comments thoughts and notes welcome~

⚪ nsfw tags: no protection, cum inside, praise, seonghwa being very soft, everything is very vanilla tbh, slow sex, slight overstim, focus on feeling of closeness

⚪ playlist: suffering for love by eden (a/n:what sparked this), somewhere by o3ohn, dancing with your ghost by sasha alexa sloan, holo by leehi, stay here by gaho, i wanna cry by seori, not too late by ateez

The ticking of the clock, giving rhythm to his trepidation, the second hand measuring out the beating of his heart devise a believable steadiness. In two minutes and three seconds, you were going to brush strands of your hair behind your right ear, sighing at the necessity for the repeated motion. You were curled up the impromptu reading nook that you had crafted out of an array of pillows and a throw – items that Seonghwa had meticulously picked out to fit the interior of your shared apartment, now a creative installation with you as its centrepiece.

He was exactly where he had been, and where he would be should he wish to relive this moment again: leaning against the dining table, hands pressed into the edge of the lacquered wood, coolness spreading to his trembling fingertips, stuck in a permanent dilemma. He studied you as though you were a heavenly mirage, admiring every inch of your form as faint fragments of the sun streamed through the window and graced your delicate skin. Seonghwa was never sure whether the glow that enveloped you, that blissful haze so innate, so intricate, was from the mellow rays or from the boundless light that you possessed, so strong that it permeated through you, and yet too precious for this mortal world. So, he had settled, even then, for the only explanation that seemed logical, no matter how irrational the concept seemed to someone who had not had the chance to know you.

“Angel, are you sure you don’t want me to get you anything?”

There it was, the brush of the hair, that dazzling smile, heart-melting expression as you turned your head towards him, placing a finger down on the cream-coloured page to mark your line of immersion.

“Yes, Hwa I’m good. Though actually, if you could grab some more gochujang paste, that would be great. I promised your mom a recipe exchange so not running low on ingredients is probably a good start.”

He beamed, though the incessant ticking induced a heaviness in his chest. That was right, in a week’s time his mother would be visiting the two of you with a crate of goods from home, and you would spend the day cooking together, constantly shooing Seonghwa out of the kitchen so that he ‘would not interfere with the production line’. And then, they would not let him leave until he tried every dish.

“One of these days my mom will kidnap you, I swear.” He responded, running a hand through his hair to mask his agitation.

“Well, I am already dressed like her kid, and I do like naps.”

“Now for humour…”

“… I know, I know, much better than you so she’ll figure the switch out straight away.” You winked, and before Seonghwa could respond, returned to the novel, your attention drifting from the conversation in a matter of seconds. How could he not love you?

That morning you had been cheeky enough to steal one of his shirts, parading in it and uttering phrases in dialect, in as low a voice as you could muster, eliciting amused laughter from Seonghwa. The light blue and white striped linen suited you more than it did him, he had decided. At least, it suited the joy that you experienced when he, faking vexation from your antics, had wrapped you in his arms, peppering you with soft reminders of his adoration on your cheeks, nose, lips.

In thirty seconds, he was to push himself away from the table, amble towards you, and plant a kiss on the top of your head, resting his forehead against you before bidding you farewell. As he diligently completed the actions, you reached out to grasp his wrist, and pulled him closer. In nine seconds, you let go. In three, he mumbled he would be right back. And just as the clock showed three twenty-seven in the afternoon, he leaned down to put a pair of sneakers on in the entryway, and pushed the front door open to reveal a stunning, infinite expanse of white. Without fear, he stepped in, and was consumed by the pure, cleansing hue. The ironic embodiment of you.

It was overwhelming the first time. The migraine that had persisted then almost detracted him from the process, however as the number of attempts had grown into a routine, or rather, a habit, so did his resilience. Now, as he woke up from the trance, blinking away the blur that had occupied his vision, barely any physical trace of his venture remained. All except the dull ache. But that was a given, the torment was an old guest to his weary soul.

He was back. Back in the same café, sat at the table in the far corner, away from curious eyes, right by a living wall of ferns and succulents, so carefully tended to that Seonghwa had never once seen a single leaf be wilted; he would not put it beyond this place achieving a floral immortality – it was either that, or they were meticulously replaced to give the illusion of continuity. Even so, what would Seonghwa not give for that oblivious paradise? An easy listening instrumental track filled the air with semi-acoustic guitar and gentle waves of metal brushes on the drums. The rumbles and short hisses emanated from behind the counter, guiding Seonghwa’s gaze to the owner and main barista of the café, who was languidly cleaning a metal beaker while keeping an eye out for any new customers. Even though he knew full well that while the remnants of the time shift were still suspended in the air, the space, completed in white and wooden tones, disappeared from the consciousness and vision of a passer-by.

Gradually, feeling returned to Seonghwa’s hands and feet, and he stretched his hands out in front of him, scrutinising the digits. Was it really the dark chestnut table that he touched? Was it really your hair that he caressed and your voice that entranced him so? The disentanglement from what had been and what could be was always the most agonising aspect of his commitment. But for the sake of keeping you in the present, this was the least he could sacrifice. As he blinked away the last of his emotion, steeling himself for the day ahead, Seonghwa turned to the large shop window to peer at the metropolitan commotion. The forlorn palette of greys that guided his interpretation was reflected in every building, every cloud that threatened catastrophic storms, every scowl on a stranger and in the cold concrete. Nothing new. Just a setting to let time pass by him.

As his heart beat to the pitter-patter of seconds, washing over him, Seonghwa hesitantly trudged to the counter and fished out the black leather wallet you had gifted him for your three year anniversary, stopping to brush his thumb over your picture that he inserted into the transparent compartment. A candid shot of you under the magnolias, a light squint of the eyes and scrunch of the nose as you had tilted your head to greet the sunshine that streamed through the brilliant white canopy. After the photo was taken, you had found a branch that had been snapped by the wind, and took it home, tending to the young blossoms that were protected by proud leaves, leaping into the air excitedly as they unfurled to reveal their apex of beauty. That time, you had admonished Seonghwa for not even sparing a glance at the flowers while complimenting them, but he was sure in his decision to not take his gaze off you.

“That’ll be three thousand won.” The barista sighed, a concerned smile on his lips as he studied the dark-haired man before him. The regular floated in a torpid melancholy, though his amiable expression and impressively polite discourse, be it with him or with another customer, had never let what he had seen on the first visit slip and shatter.

“Here you are. Thank you, San.” Seonghwa answered absent-mindedly as he handed the owner three glossy paper bills.

“Not a problem.” The barista and owner of the café Memento added the amount to the cash register with practiced motions, hands moving on their own accord.

Fluid, intrinsic, skilled. A repetition that served to mark the end of Seonghwa’s weekly visit. Except here, there was no way to guess what San would choose to do next, even though his uniform, his environment were all the same – there was no comfort in awareness of the future, and while that was a reminder that Seonghwa had successfully returned, the notion had recently begun to induce a subtle hum of distress within him. At least he was lucky enough to have found a temporary aid to the predicament.

“Back so soon?”

It was not Thursday, that much Seonghwa knew. For the past couple of months he visited strictly on Thursday mornings, and would be able to sustain himself and hold out until the next unscheduled visit, but one cemented in his routine. But the last few days had unfolded as though the universe itself was against him, proving that calamity was always lying in wait for the first sign of tranquility. He was distressed, on the verge of tearing himself and everyone around him apart - had he the power of Atropos, the floor would be decorated with abstract snippets of existence, grotesque and grim, but at least the act was committed at his own volition. Some fragment of control still remaining, albeit in his fantasies. This was why his feet led him here, to café Memento, through the heavy downpour outside which he had to experience in full force due to the ill-timed breaking of his umbrella. Seonghwa’s coat clung to him in a drowning desperation, giving him a sullen, forlorn appearance of a lost man. With haphazard motions he attempted to slick his hair back so that the accumulated raindrops would cease to run down his face, though that did little comically little.

Fumbling in the entrance of the café, the young man watched as the barista, turned passive confidante, stepped out from behind the counter, raising his index finger into the air as a sign to wait before disappearing behind the staff door. In his absence, Seonghwa attempted to peel the trench coat off, discovering that, for the most part, his shirt had been protected well by the waterproof material. So, it was almost like that evening he had been replaying in his mind the last three days, but not close enough. It was late June then. He was wearing a light cotton t-shirt, jeans, and converses, enveloped in the monsoon’s sudden attack while he had been circling the apartment complex where you lived, cursing himself. He had been more rain than man then. But the personal likeness did not matter, so long as he could get the coffee and take his practically assigned seat in the corner.

“Here, a towel, your collar’s getting damp, and let me hang the coat to dry… you absorbed a whole raincloud, didn’t you?” San had reappeared, and made a beeline for his friend, who was still standing at the door, water dripping onto the welcome mat, blending with the invisible chains of grief that were his loyal followers. A small, yet dazzling smile in thanks was shot in the barista’s direction as the dishevelled man accepted the towel, commencing to dry off his hair and neck.

“Certainly felt like it. And thank you. Sorry for barging in like this, I really don’t know what-”

“You want the usual, right?” the interjection cut right to the truth. Of course, what was Seonghwa thinking? After so many weeks of asking for coffee that he, in fact, despised, sitting in the same place and leaving the present to see visions of you, it would take someone who knew nothing at all to assume Seonghwa wanted anything else. Even the most distant acquaintance would probably make the rights guess. It was obvious that he was here to see you. He needed to, or his frustrations would eat him whole.

“Right.” Unintentionally curt, Seonghwa muttered his response while wiping down the droplets from his feverish skin. Concerned preoccupied him as he wondered if illness would prevent him from seeing you. No, he could not get ill. He still had so much material to cover.

“Figured. Life’s got you down?” either happily disinterested, or deciding to ignore Seonghwa’s shift in attitude, San continued in the same level tone as he finished hanging up the trench coat on the rack that stood in a corner by the door, obscured by an overgrown potted palm tree. Stretched over a couple of hooks, it looked every bit like a damp scarecrow, eliciting a sharp exhale through the nose from its owner.

“You could say that.”

“So down, that you walked here, in the rain?” using his beige apron to dry off his hands, the broad-shouldered man asked. Truth be told, it was not confirmation of his friend’s troubles that he was after. It was the cry, the realisation that he was going too far.

But much to the café owner’s dismay, Seonghwa saw no evil in his choices, instead choosing to rationalise them, supress the abysmal distress each one would inevitably bring by considering everything except the future. To this man, who obediently followed San to the counter, and waited for him to walk back around and take his usual spot, the suffering that came with each veering of the path was a divine, cleansing punishment that, at the end of it all, still brought him joy.

“Well, metro, then the walking in the rain.” Seonghwa stated as-a-matter-of-factly, draping the towel over his neck after gesturing to San whether it would be fine if he could keep it for the time being, and with a quick nod from him, gave a quiet word of gratitude and wiped a stray droplet that was threatening to roll down his forehead with the corner of the white fabric.

“Nonetheless, aren’t there… other ways?”

Seonghwa stared at the large coffee machine as though it was a beast, in slumber until the next press of a button, to avoid making eye contact. His mind had been far too hazy since early morning, and the myriad of repetitive work meetings had exhausted his ability to keep up appearances. He was toeing a line, a couple of phrases away from completely snapping, and studying the tiny coffee splatter stuck to steel decal at the top of the machine took off some of the edge, forcing him to refocus on the desire to wipe the damn spot away.

“Nothing like a nice hot americano to save the day.” He mumbled, glancing at San, only to be met with a questioning eyebrow and pursed lips.

“You literally do not even like coffee.”

“And you own a café, but drink decaf.”

“Touché. Alright then, the usual it is…” the battle was short-lived, overtaken by a tense quiet, subsequently filled by the ambient rumbling, shuffling and clinking – the sonorous colours of any ordinary coffee shop. It was clear enough that there was too much left unsaid, only to dissolve in the drink like a sugar cube turned sour. What was there to admonish? Love? Devotion? Never before had San seen such dedication in a customer when it came to the specially prepared beverage, he concluded as he murmured the incantations, concentrating on making the coffee bloom to its fullest. In situations such as this, he pondered what his life would be like had he not inherited this café, and along with it, the power to control time.

The torrential downpour outside was not letting up, and the droplets that accumulated on the shopfront’s awning were hammering down onto the pavement, spilling over and composing a cacophony. Seonghwa observed the enchantment, attempting to mentally follow the steps for the pourover, but ultimately failing even though San had gone through them, diligently, on the first three visits. As the grounds, with the beans freshly roasted and the final product all made in-house, were being wetted by the hot water pouring from the long spout of a black gooseneck kettle, cradled in the barista’s steady hands, the morose bystander imagined the city to be one big coffee cup, with the solemn concrete jungle resembling the rise and falls of the grounds’ dunes, taking and taking more of the rainwater and leaving behind exhausted, breathless shells called citizens. From far away, there was a unity, a name for the powder-like substance turned to a paste, but look closer, and each grain was lonely in its own special way, only there to dissolute, and diffuse into a bitter potion.

“Here.” As soon as the last of the substance was extracted and joined forces with the fluid in the cup, San set it on a white plate with a black rim, and carefully positioned the beverage onto an elevated portion of the counterspace, right above the display of baked goods and desserts, almost empty – reasonable, considering the late hour after a busy day.

“Thank you-” just as he reached out to grab the cup, excited to finally flee to his safe haven, the barista stopped him on his tracks.

“Seonghwa, hate to be that guy, but are you sure you do not need any other help at all?” the apprehension in his voice made the taller man’s stomach churn. Did he have to raise this point now, of all times? When Seonghwa wanted nothing more but to curl up in your arms and sink into a divinity only you two could share? He was not in the headspace to even mention the existence of alternatives. In his view, there was only one right path to follow, and it was one mapped out in scars on his heart.

“What are you insinuating?” he narrowed his eyes, hinting at an undercurrent of hostility.

“Nothing! Just, you know… This is meant to be temporary. There are only so many times you can bend time to your will before it snaps you.” Already anticipating a complete disregard for his warnings, San explained his worries much like he would explain the menu to a newcomer.

“But it’s all fine-” he gripped the plate tighter in his hands, lifting the ceramic off the counter and watching the liquid lap at the edges, a deep mahogany ocean. As he caught the glint of the lamplight reflected in its ripples, he could not help but search for the glimmer that was always in your eyes.

“Until it won’t be. Seonghwa, I know what this means to you, and I can see how you change after each leap but… I am worried.”

“Well… don’t, seriously. It’s fine. I just… I just need this. Okay?” he was met by a shake of the head, and a lean forward – San took the towel by its edge, and slipped it off Seonghwa’s neck, leaving it exposed to an unfamiliar chill. In a strive to supress the shiver, the exasperated man continued, choking out the words through a well-mannered filter: “And don’t I look like I am simply asleep when I am out there?”

“True that. Head down like the table is a pillow.” The barista responded, seemingly unperturbed as he flung the towel into a basket hidden under the workspace and wiped his hands on his apron. When he did not make any further attempts to prolong the fruitless discussion, Seonghwa’s feet moved on their own accord, spinning his body around, ready to dive into his long-awaited oasis.

“Alright then… catch you… later?” he threw out over his shoulder, casting San one final glance before striding towards the table, area dimly lit, but so cosy, promising the echoes of his real home.

“Mhm. I’ll be where I usually am. Not that you need me, but still. I’ll keep watch.”

“I appreciate it.” Words thrown out only to be swept away by the air conditioning, meaningless in the sense of emotion. Mentally, he was already in transit.

As Seonghwa settled into the chair, he felt lighter. As if the mere anticipation of seeing you once again was already capable of lifting some of his ache. He concentrated on the cup before him. A simple number, with the only decoration being those black lines, reminiscent of lines of misfortune that occupied an individual’s life. Ironic how this was to be his fated cup. The contemporary chalice that gave him the power to enjoy the moments he had mourned. As he did in every iteration of his new ‘always’, he pictured you, sat in front of him, in this very café, drinking the bitter black coffee, breaking out into a grin as you slipped into a child-like enjoyment. This black and white cup was the one you had held in your hands, commenting on how you and Seonghwa should try and find a similar set. To this day, he could not fulfil this little dream of yours. Maybe they were not being made anymore, and nothing merely similar would be up to standard.

Your figure became clearer and clearer before his eyes, until he could not distinguish between what should be, and what indeed was. This stage was the trickiest, for with every fibre of his being Seonghwa wanted to reach out to you, place his hand over yours and whisper just how much he missed you, how afraid he was that you were gone, not for good, not for evil, simply gone. It took training, resilience, and patience with himself to go further back, rewind the time until he hit the desired mark, and as the image was comparable to reality before him, he shut his eyes, and took a tentative sip of the coffee.

A flash. Pure white, drumming of the rain turning into deafening tick, tock, tick, tock. Sensation that felt like his body was turning inside out, collapsing and regrowing as he felt the ground beneath him, and the sky’s tears beating down on him, streaming down his face. With this, he regained his balance and sense of direction, and pressing a hand right above his brows to shield his vision from the rain, peeked at the scene. Just as he had expected, it was the little square, the pagoda with no proper roof to shield him, the paths, lit by weak yellowish streetlights. He was ready to go back home. To see you. To play the scene out and devote himself to you once more. There was a limit to what far removed, isolated worship could do.

He pushed himself off the soaked wooden seating that framed the inside of the pagoda, and stumbled out, still dizzy from the leap. Massaging his temples with the hand he had used as a visor, he tried to soothe at least some of the stinging, until it turned into a dull ache that was easier to handle, more customary. Before long, it melted into the buzz, the anticipation for what was to happen next.

He commenced a countdown in the form of footsteps as he stalked toward the complex, fully aware of you watching him from the windows. That was what you were going to say… later, but you were going to say it. You were going to reveal to him just how worried you had been, how you wanted him to come back as soon as he shut the door, and how his action had torn you apart. It really had been over nothing at all, but much like in the present, his week had gotten to him, but now there was no escape, except to break his routine, and sink into the feeling of you. Your voice, your caresses, your love. The world was moving slowly as he strode up the stairs to the entrance doors, fingers automatically finding the passcode although he could not consciously recall it. One step, two, and he was at the staircase that wound around the elevator, choosing the former to alleviate some of the tension.

To no avail. Instead, the adrenaline pumped with more vigour, causing his rationality to grow blurry and pulse to go haywire as he spurred himself on. Only a few more steps. And there would be you. Thirty seconds. Fifteen. He was at the door to the apartment. Seonghwa stilled himself, glancing back to take note of the trail of moisture that he had left, mentally apologising to the cleaners that would have to handle the mess the next day – he would hear them chiding ‘whoever this person was’ in the tomorrow of the past at precisely six thirty-eight in the morning.

He had only returned to this scene once before. A while back. And had promised himself to not do it again because of the toll it had taken on him. But desperate times called for desperate measures. And he desperately needed you. The familiar flicker of the lightbulb at the end of the hallway, footsteps that he could make out from behind the door as you approached were setting him ablaze. There you were. You. No one else. Not a replacement, but really you. It was your fingers that pinched the door chain and slid it out of position, your hand that took the door handle and pulled it in, it was you who was standing before him, teary-eyed, but obviously relieved to see him.

You were about to approach him and wrap your hands around his torso when you noticed just how soaked he was from facing the elements after his stress-induced outburst. He had chosen to exit the apartment instead of uttering as much as a single word aside from the command to not follow, leaving you disconcerted and peering out of the window into the starless night. It was a simple, common domestic argument that had set him off. Something or other about the arrangement of cutlery in the drawer, that then moved to the discussion of plates in the cupboards, and eventually grew into a back and forth about interior design. Any other day, Seonghwa probably would had stayed and talked it out, but this outburst which now served to be a perfect anchor for his travels, was the result of pent up emotion. It was odd, but he was grateful for having let his feelings overflow that day, otherwise this previous moment, this ethereal intimacy would not have been so prominent in his mind.

Seonghwa’s gaze burned into you as you hugged your own form, highlighting the curves hidden under the oversized t-shirt dress that you were wearing, the argument having taken place right before bed. Hair loose and slightly dishevelled, you look to have been playing with it – something you did when you were nervous. You would inspect the ends, twirl the strange, arrange and rearrange… and then when he would place a hand on your thigh, or take your hand in his, you would become aware of your state, start counting under your breath, resuming a shared tranquility. While he could not imagine the distress that you experienced internally, it was reassuring that even if for a fraction of a second, he could bring you peace from your loud mind.

Your eyes were reddened – likely from being rubbed to convince yourself that you were not about to cry over simple things. A light tremble of your lower lip as you took in his form, with Seonghwa exuding abandonment, regret, loss… a rocking from heel to toe as you propelled yourself towards him, reaching out to cup his face while ushering him inside. Who was he kidding when he thought that this would be easy to re-enact? He was guilty as charged. This was his doing. How could he possibly enjoy seeing you in pain? The preceding events objectively amounted to nothing, but your sadness was real, how you gasped and said his name was real. This was real.

Tears sprung to his eyes as you cooed and ran your fingers through his wet hair, forgetting about your own clothing as you approached to comfort him. Seonghwa was bewildered – no, he should be the one comforting you! How was this in any way appropriate, he should be strong, he should- he was struggling to form a single coherent thought as all prior resolve evaporated like snow on a hot summer day, and he crumbled under your touch. Your thumbs brushed over his cheers, carrying away tears that he did not know he was spilling, as you called out to him.

“Hwa, my love please… if you cry, I cry…I’m sorry-”

“I’m sorry Y/N! My angel! Please… forgive me… I’m sorry… I’m so… so sorry…” Seonghwa wailed as his knees buckled under him, and barely having made it past the door frame, with you having just shut the door with a light kick of the foot, he slowly descended to the ground, with you promptly following.

“What? This was… this was just a plate, Hwa… both of us had a stressful week and-” you attempted to rationalise, failing to swallow the lump that had formed in your throat at the sight of your husband falling apart, words sounding choked out. You forced him to keep his attention on you as you searched for any kind of explanation in his widened eyes glossed over with sorrow.

“So sorry… I am so sorry I couldn’t do anything… Please I should have… I should have not let you go… I am so…” he slipped. He lost the plot, the phrases bursting out of him before he could do anything to stop them. It was no longer clear what it was that he was apologising for. He gripped the soaked denim, right above his knees, though the sensation of his fingers digging into his thighs did nothing to curb his disillusionment.

“What are you saying baby, I’m right here…” you whispered, one hand moving to pat his shoulder, gliding over the muscle and soon your arm was pulling the man closer and closer to you. He hesitated, afraid to soak your dress, though knowing that it was going to happen anyway.

“Y/N!”

“Shh, it’s okay. I’m sorry too. Come here.” Without any further waiting, he threw his arms around you. There you were. Your warmth against him as you rubbed his back, not caring for his blubbering, for his sniffling against the crook of your neck. He kept on mumbling apologies and your name, over, and over, and over again, as though those were the only words he knew, and his native tongue had otherwise departed from his consciousness.

“What has gotten into you, huh? It really wasn’t that big of a deal. I’ll even accept that I was wrong for putting the mug in that drawer.” You attempted to change the tone, adopting a more upbeat, lighthearted attitude while you wiggled to sit more comfortably. Your husband followed your every move, and soon enough you found yourselves sitting in a tight embrace right at the step that marked the difference between the entrance, and the apartment’s corridor.

“I’m sorry…”

“Okay, I get that, but what for? For being human and having a temper sometimes? We’ve been living together for two years, Hwa. Two. And you are here acting like we haven’t argued before.”

Two years. Two years, three months, and seven days, if he were to be exact. He had your history together memorised, and as he kept on leaping, the accuracy turned from weeks, to days, to hours, to minutes, and for some events, down to the second. In three, two, one – you kissed the top of his head, just like he had done to you many times.

“I am so selfish, Y/N…” he whispered, hoarse.

“Aren’t we all?”

“Not like me.”

“No one is like you, and I mean that in the best sense. What kind of selfish are you even talking about Seonghwa?”

“I exhaust you. I repeat the same things, again, and again, tire you out and take you for granted.” He tried to explain himself, but his haze was refusing to let him abide by the regular scenario, instead letting him go off script and improvise.

You tapped him, signalling for Seonghwa to lean back and look at you. When his half-lidded eyes met yours, you muttered for him to sit down properly. Obediently, he twisted his body, and did what he was told. You remained by his side, one arm wrapped around his shoulders as you guided yourself to take a seat on his lap, effectively straddling him. One leg on either side, you pushed yourself closer, until your nose was against his, and you were peering into his pupils.

“I could repeat every moment with you forever, Hwa, never get tired, and always, do you hear me? Always, feel loved.” He took your words as gospel, as a clairvoyant portrayal that he would follow.

“I’m sorry.”

“How sorry?” you blurted, not thinking straight as you breathed against his lips, almost touching. Your arms draped around him, while he positioned his cool hands on your hips, more than aware of the proximity.

“Very.”

“Prove it.”

“Let me love you.”

“Now that’s something you should repeat more often, darling.”

You were supposed to kiss. You were supposed to sink into one another and blend into a loving embrace. Where were you? Why couldn’t he see you? A panic set into Seonghwa’s chest as his eyes shot open, and no matter where he looked, no matter how hard he twisted his neck, he was only met with the vast expanse of white. But his hands-

No longer holding onto you, they reached for thin air, only to fall, defeated, disappearing into a thick cloud-like fog. He yelled out your name, but was only met with a searing, piercing tone as though from an explosion blasting right into his ears, and no sign of his voice. He tried again, rushing to cover his ears on instinct as the high-pitched screech returned, though that did next to nothing, except proving that the colourless infinity was more merciless than nature itself. Slowly understanding the rule of not disturbing the soundlessness, Seonghwa blindly felt for the ground on which he was sitting. What if you were lost in this expanse with him? Where could you have gone? His best attempt would be to try feeling for any vibrations, and send some of his own. You must be in the minimalist hellscape with him, he convinced himself and knocked on what he had decided was the ground but was met with nothing.

His fist, then arm then the rest of the body fell through a chasm and in a split second, the white was cleared from his vision as suddenly as it had appeared. Perplexed and terrified, Seonghwa looked around, only to feel that he was stark naked, in the bedroom, with you under him. Slowly he turned his head to look downwards, and was greeted by your face, contorted in pleasure as you let out sultry moans, hands gripping the pillow that was supporting your head. You looked so beautiful, angelic as you whimpered his name, while he continued to thrust into you.

The sudden transition had thrown Seonghwa off kilter, and he inadvertently slowed down, hissing as he felt your walls contract around his throbbing member. The intensity of the intimate act had returned the senses to his body at an unprecedented speed, making him dizzy. Struggling to support himself with his outstretched arms, he lowered his body until it was flush against yours, and he was on his elbows. Every micromovement was a challenge while his cock was still inside you, though counterbalanced by the fear of this divinity being replaced by the white abyss once more.

“Hwa… ah… why’d you… why’d you stop?” you asked, breathless as your eyelids barely lifted to peek at him. Some stray strands of hair were stuck to your forehead, caught in a sheen of sweat that made you look ethereal in the light that had crept into the bedroom through the window, as the storm outside had calmed to reveal a timid moon, peering from behind the heavy clouds that lethargically moved across the sky. Your lips, rosy and plump, evidently from having been against his for long enough, were slightly parted as you panted shallowly. Seonghwa further lowered himself until he was hovering right above you, unable to stop himself from giving you a soft kiss, and whispering:

“I want to love you. Slowly.”

“Didn’t feel like it.” You quipped, a ghost of a smirk taunting him, earning a chuckle.

“Sorry, you know what you do to me.”

“No more ‘sorry’, darling, just give me all of you.” You moved so your hands were clasped around your husband’s neck, and sighed as he pushed himself up and bottomed out, the fullness making you see stars.

“I love you Y/N.”

“I love you ah- too… Hwa.”

As promised, following his return from nothingness, he took things slow. With every thrust into your aroused core, he worshipped you, whispering praise after praise in your ear about how well you took him, and just how good you made him feel. Finely attuned to every change in your body, he adjusted his angle, his rhythm, until you were, once again, a whining goddess being brought to a magnificent ruin. Only this time, he was going to remember every picosecond. He noted how your eyes rolled to the back of your head underneath your lids, how your tongue flicked to the corner of your mouth, for just a split second, but enough to demand Seonghwa’s attention. In one sensual motion, he moved his cock deeper, and gave himself access for another, longer expression of his love. His tongue gingerly parted your lips, and you readily accepted him, appreciative of the caution and affection in his gesture. As you ascended in the adoring expression, Seonghwa decided that this was true timelessness. And the only one he ever needed. Only you and him, with only love between you.

Seonghwa had a habit of looking at you as though you were the only precious thing in his universe with those gorgeous brown orbs. And while you otherwise would glow at the realisation, tonight, there was something different. First, it was him apologising for ‘letting you go’, then it was him nearly completely switching character and nearly making you lose all sense of self as he pounded into you with a carnal desire, and now, it was a slow, sensual unravelling. The light pecks on your cheeks, trailing down to your neck, and the loving gaze as Seonghwa confessed his love to you as if this was the first and last time, were too much for you to take. There was an omniscience about him, otherworldly knowledge, like he was somewhere else entirely, aware of every nuance of your inner world and capable of changing your very fate. Your precious Seonghwa, your future.

Your high came suddenly and violently from the sustained length of each movement that made you concentrate on every detail, from the way in which Seonghwa had teased you by stimulating your clit with his leaking cock, to how he silenced you with a kiss, inhaling your uncontrollable moans.  As though you were a fragile doll, he embraced you as best as he could without collapsing on your chest, while he searched for the opportunity to chase his own release.

His movements began to falter as his own orgasm inched closer and closer, the knot in his stomach becoming nearly unbearable. The steady pace was broken into stutters as he rolled his hips, directing his member fully into your still-pulsating sex, the lewd melody emanating from him slapping against you only driving him further into his small death. The overstimulation was making you squirm, but you held on, and the way in which your nails dug into his back, and how you mumbled, barely audible, a soft and innocent ‘Seonghwa’ had sent him over the edge. Throwing his head back he groaned into his climax, euphoric while the viscous webs of cum painted your walls and labia as he pulled out in an attempt to control the trembling of his muscles. Rivulets of cum continued to pour from him, mixing with your sweet nectar, running down your smooth thighs. Unable to hold out much longer, he uttered your name, and in your blissful state, you responded by pulling him towards you, towards a comforting darkness.

The rise and fall, the pulse, the hum, your hand running through his hair, which was now mostly dry: all signs of you being real, being with him and sharing time and space. Seonghwa was home, everything was how it was supposed to be. You were excitedly talking about your work trip - a major design commission for a client abroad, and the post-coital somnolence was blocking his immediate awareness of this fact, until you addressed him directly.

“Mm… Hwa?”

“Yes?”

“Do you think the magnolias will be blooming once I’m back?”

“Yes, angel.”

They were a day too late.

"You have to let go, Seonghwa! You can't do this to yourself forever! You are not living!" San’s voice resounded through the café as he glowered at the man before him.

"I know you understand that I live when I am there!"

Clearly, for the state in which he had appeared in the establishment left nothing but exasperation. Pallid, his shirt crumpled, dark circles having grown even more prominent than before, the look was so uncharacteristic of Seonghwa that San needed to spend a couple minutes simply observing the customer in order to recognise him. But the stupefaction was rapidly dispelled as soon as he heard a familiar, low and dulcet voice order ‘the usual’. However, this time, this meant a ‘special offer’ from the owner himself.

“You only have so many leaps left. You know this whole thing is unstable. What if you don’t come back?” while he was aware that what he was doing was horrifically unacceptable, regardless of their so-called friendship status, San yelled across the room, only to be met with a matching boom.

“What would change?”

“Oh, you damn well know what would change, don’t do this to me.” San dismissed his customer’s challenge, slamming his hand onto the counter to control his rage.

“Look. San. I appreciate you trying to intervene, but I think that I can handle it.” The phrase, uttered by a poor soul, clearly addicted, induced a threatening scowl. After a painful minute of silence, with the two men standing, ready for a verbal duel, San fired first, promising Seonghwa’s worst nightmare.

“I can just not serve you the coffee.”

“And I can just… no, you wouldn’t do this to me.” Seonghwa had gotten used to the white flashes while he spent time with you. It was almost comforting, and had turned to be a device that brought him back to his senses so that he would not get too attached. Nevertheless, every time that he did slip into the realm, a new hope joined, that of the possibility of you escaping with him. Finding yourself in the white landscape, and promptly departing the past, following the ticking of the clock until it stopped, letting you enter the café, and return into Seonghwa’s life. San could not take this hope away-

“I will. The café is closed for business today. Because I said so. Seonghwa, get a grip. She is-” he began but was promptly shut down with a wrathful roar.

“No. She is not. Whatever you are about to say she is not.”

“Seonghwa you are not okay. Please. Please, just… please live for yourself for a second and stop looking back-”

He did not want to hear it. He did not want to hear what should have stopped him long before, prior to when he had the chance to experience the instant cure to his madness. So in a fit of indignation, he strode out of the café, not bothering to shut the door behind him. It was only a matter of time before he would be back. New day, same old scars on his heart, with each passing tick, tock, tick, tock, tearing at the amateur stitching until the wounds returned, infected by solitary lamentation, festering with cognizance of the colourless cosmos he had to battle, alone in a city of millions.

A month passed. Two. Without a word uttered about you. In silent melancholy he kept the memory of you alive, each detail in his routine turning into a memento mori, a subconscious devotion. From the chrome silver earring he chose to wear, to the loosely knit black cotton sweater, he did not have to be explicit in the pull towards the centre of his inner universe. When it was not you he saw, it was the shadows. When it was not you he heard, it was the echoes. Be it in an interlocutor, a passer-by, an illusion conjured by hope, the world seemed to be like you. All similarities, nuances, interpretations... but still so painfully distant.

Seonghwa listened to the same songs on repeat – songs that you had recommended to him over the years. Again, and again, and again until he heard them even in the lonely silence. A numbing balm to his unforgiving mind, the melodies were an extended monologue – a lifeline. At least they were not creations in the past tense. And one of your favourite artists was even on tour; a proof for the musical organism still pumping its melodic blood, one listener less. Would you go? Of course, you would. You lived for the memories. You had crafted your life to be a series of perfectly curated, picturesque moments, and time aided in cultivating the final selection to be your most precious. He had turned into a loyal spectator, watching with bated breath as the episodes passed him by, under your direction, starring you, produced by you. He could only succumb to the unchangeable fall through time and follow you until that last, unfinished sentence.

He wanted to hate you. He wanted to erase you. Seonghwa desperately wanted to banish you from his psyche, in which you were so deeply entrenched that he would answer to your name.

His love for you was his poison, and he knew that his friends were right. In the cycle, the circle he had drawn to trap what had remained of you and him, was to be his inevitable full stop. His sentence was far from being completed, and yet after what one could call his comma, he struggled to find words. Perhaps because there were none that he found worthy of ever competing with what had been. It was not possible to despise happiness itself, nor was it to not crave it. Just once more. One more time to experience that utopia. A bittersweet suffering completed in shades of a heartbreaking blue.

And that was how he found himself in that same park, under those same white magnolias. In a trance he studied your wind-swept hair, your white cotton sweater and baby blue, washed out jeans, making sure that you were wearing those earrings he had bought you for no reason in particular except to make you happy – perhaps an expensive gift for what would be only a month that you had been a couple, but your gleam had been priceless. His gaze travelled to your hands, spotting that there was still that tiny chip on your manicured left index finger.

Same words. Same motions. Like running through a script of his beloved drama, one that he knew by heart and uttered in his slumber. All going according to the heavens' loathsome plan, until your lips that were tinted with a gloss that he would find out in two weeks, and three days' time precisely was your recent favourite, were weighed down with a concerned frown, and your eyebrows furrowed.

"Why are you crying?"

Cautiously, Seonghwa lifted a hand to touch his cheek, finding a timid, glistening stream that had found its path from his eyed that widened in meek surprise. Another touch on the other side, and he rushed to wipe away the currents with the edge of his sleeve, stifling an agonising sob that threatened to burst out of his throat. His chest on fire, Seonghwa struggled to blink away the mist that settled over his eyes. He must not look away. He must not give into this cruel bleariness. Not when you were right there. You must be so worried. You were always worried about how deeply he felt, about how sentimental he got and would always wrap your arms around him, guiding him to relax into your body, whispering that everything was going to be okay. If only spectral, celestial embraces could comfort him the same.

"Happy to see you again..." he choked out, smiling helplessly as he saw your features return to your bright, hopeful beam, gaze nothing short of a window to paradise.

"Again? We've just seen each other last week, silly." You tilted your head as you responded - a motion he had seen time and time again and loved the same.

He desired to tell you. Tell you that you were meant to be. That there was a future, albeit with the horizon too close for comfort, but a future nonetheless, ahead of you with him. But he knew better than that. It would mean another lifetime wasted, and again, he would have to search space and time for signs of you. Yes, he was selfish, but how could he not be when the fruit of his love's greed was so sweet? He wanted to see all your reactions as if he had not committed them to memory.

"And yet, I feel like I have known you, and lived with you for many lifetimes."

"Then... here's to another?"

And another.

And another.

And another.

And another.

And-