#( study / bury your dead before they alter your mind. )

[triptocaiine]

which stupid bitch from classical literature are you?

Jane Eyre!

You are Jane Eyre! Ohhhhhhhh my god dude ohhhh my god raise your standards. raise your standards. raise your standards right now. this woman meets a guy who is Rude To Her, And Rude To Everyone, Repeatedly, For Pages On End, but he says "thank you" to her one (1) time and suddenly she's like "is this romance material?" BITCH NOOOOOOOOOO! there's like... a fucking ghost living in the house with her and she's like "this is fine" and even when a FUCKING FIRE STARTS she's like "hm... i guess rich ppl just be like that sometimes!" Her crowning achievement of stupidity is finding out that Rochester, who literally Proposed To Her, is ALREADY MARRIED. not only that, he LOCKED HIS WIFE IN HIS ATTIC. not even his ex-wife. his WIFE. he is a MARRIED MAN WHO LOCKED HIS WIFE IN HIS ATTIC. and jane eyre. is still. in love with him. oh my god babe just like... go on tinder i PROMISE there are other fish in the sea

Tagged by: i literally tagged myself bc i thought norman would get an amazing answer. and lo, i was correct. this is 100% them. this is THEM! Tagging: ok listen @sionnacher​ @rkplaced​ fckin. andy im @’ing you bc this quiz is so funny to me

[tobebrutal]

ALBERT WESKER:  VERSE, STRANGER THINGS

BACKGROUND :        albert wesker is a ghost to the residents of hawkins indiana.    a man of many unusual talents, once believed to hold the future of more than just their humble city in his hands.    a leading figure in hawkins’ pharmaceuticals, it was told he had been heading a task force that’s sole goal was to cure and, one day, eliminate cancer entirely.    this was, of course, a cover-up for something far more sinister in nature.

the mind is a curious thing.    it heals and nurtures its host, choosing when and what to remember..   or forget,   based on the impact of an event.    to unlock the brain is to unlock endless possibilities.    it was this initial concept that brought wesker to work alongside some of the countries leading neuroscientists, a promising dr. brenner amongst them.    and their findings were astounding.    more than astounding, really.    every new subject more powerful than the last.    but there were consequences.    there were dead ends.    hold-ups.

working with children makes the matter complicated.    delicate and sensitive, they are not molded as quickly as wesker wished and the eventual meltdown was inevitable.    released from his duties was a death sentence.    but not all things you kill like to stay buried.

it wasn’t only his wards he had been teaching.    cognitive recalibration is a matter of focus and determination.    upon his eventual capture, it was believed that the execution had gone off without a hitch.    this is the story he sent back and, as a result, why it is, after the facility has finally gone down in a blaze of immaculate glory, that albert takes up residence in hawkins once more.    forgotten labs with discarded equipment can be made of use by those who know their value.    and the programming, nearly perfected by his own hands, begins to be reinstituted once more, recent uproars the perfect smokescreen.

POSSIBILITIES :        albert wesker is an   antagonist   in this verse.    he will be found rarely before finding others and his motives will remain unknown lest discussed otherwise.    threads within this verse will come with the added dangers of being submitted to unsanctioned testing that may or may not unlock the potential inside your muse.    this crossover can be utilized for original characters, raised in the hawkins lab or simply those who want to explore what it would be like to be   more human than human.

let it be known however that wesker himself is among the gifted.    a virologist by trade, he has spent his life devoted to the idea of developing mutagens that will evolve the human species into something more.    due to this, he isn’t to be approached for threads without first considering the risks.    you might want to think about how your character would react and what sorts of powers they may hold   before   we get started.

abilities include...

superior genetics :     raised as a specimen in a eugenic study, wesker is exceptionally gifted at most all he chooses to do, even prior to his dive into cognitive reassessment.    born to parents of superior genetics, he excels both physically as well as mentally.

unnatural strength, speed & endurance :     turning himself into his own test subject came with both risks..  and rewards.    altering his cells at a microscopic level has bestowed him with enhanced physical abilities far superior to an average man.    these are rarely showcased without cause but do him well if backed into a corner.

regenerative healing :     over the course of dozens of injections, he eventually came by an impressive regenerative healing factor.    though these things take time, of which severity often causes extreme variations, he is able to recover from the bulk of all wounds within several days or weeks, pending.

superhuman longevity :    more a concept than certainty, due to his stunted exterior signs of age and the continual use of regeneration, wesker hypothesizes that he will be the benefactor of an elongated lifespan.    perhaps not the immortality he strives for, but close.

hand-to-hand combat :     a quick learner in all things, time spent within the military brought the added benefit of close-quarters combat training.    ever the raised guard, he is most often armed with a variety of firearms, though, even without them, he is not one easily overcome.

genius-level intellect :     he is a natural prodigy in science, bio-engineering, chemistry, virology, military strategies, and other forms of technology. wesker was a very fit, cunning, and intelligent person even before enhancement, having once been a top researcher for a variety of well-funded organizations before deciding to branch out on his own.

[whump-a-la-mode]

Gilded Cage - Part 7

I can only describe this as tooth-rotting fluff. Our whumpee deserves it!

Thank you so much to everyone for going through this story with me. I’ve had so much fun.

@worstcasescenariolullaby

CW//Hospital setting, medical talk, talk of broken bones, talk of surgery, altered states of mind, mentions of death, mentions of building collapses, conspiracy

“Are you sure about this?” Sidekick’s face twisted in a mask of concern.

“I’m sure.” Villain nodded.

“The Heroes...”

“The city won’t let this happen again. Come visit me in hospital sometime, okay? I’ll be okay.”

“Okay.”

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The felt piece on the bottom of the chess pawn had long since worn away, leaving a dull screeching noise in its wake as Villain moved the piece forward on the board. In expectation, they raised their head to their opponent, before gazing back down at the board. Examining the playing field. Furrowing their brows.

“Don’t hurt yourself.” Their opponent, Old Friend, spoke, their tongue filled with equal parts laughter and playful teasing. “And... there goes your rook.”

“What!” Villain’s gaze darted about the board, before grumbling and removing their fallen piece, adding it to a quickly growing pile. “You’re cheating.”

“How does one cheat at chess?”

“By being better than me. There, okay, there goes your pawn.”

“And there goes your knight.”

“Asshole. Come on, you have to have a secret. You gotta tell me.”

Old Friend smiled.

“You’re so intent on taking my pieces that you don’t worry about your own. Also, I was in the chess club back in school, so...”

“Nerd.” Villain stuck out their tongue.

“Alright, candle boy.”

“Hey! I told you-”

“Sorry, sorry. It’s just really funny.”

“I could disintegrate a candle-”

“I know, I know. It’s your move, dude.”

“Fine. Is turning the board to ash a valid chess move?”

“There’s enough fire damage on the pieces as it is. Candle boy.”

“At least come up with something better than that. Like... Like blowtorch. That sounds cool.”

“Blowtorch? What are you, like, seven?”

“Eh, there’s worse villain names out there.”

“You don’t have one yet, do you?”

“Nah. I’m not that breed of cocky. They just call me the arsonist, I think.”

“That’s pretty underwhelming.”

“Meh.”

Again, Villain studied the board a moment. They sent a rook forwards, knocking over a knight on the other side.

“Your move.”

Old Friend nodded, and, for a few moments, they sat like that. Accompanied by nothing but the sounds of the city and the scraping of pieces on the board.

“Did Violet ever have a name?”

It took Villain a few moments to register the question. They moved a piece before looking up.

“What, like a villain name?”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t think so. You could ask her.”

“Aw, man, you haven’t heard?”

Villain frowned, lips pursing together to form a thin line.

“She’s gone?”

“Bridge collapse. I was always warning her, taking roots out of the ground like that is gonna make something fall eventually. Just so happened to be right on top of her. It’s a shame, really. Gonna have to find somewhere else to get our lettuce, now.”

“Not funny.”

“I know. And... check.”

“What?”

“Checkmate.”

“Again?”

“Again.”

Villain shoved the board away from themself, sitting back and stretching their arms above their head. Old Friend swiped the remaining pieces from the board, beginning to once again set the stage for their next game.

“This time, think about the risk you might be putting your pieces in. It’s not worth it, losing a knight to take out a pawn, y’know?”

“I guess.”

“What’s got you acting so sad all of a sudden?” Old Friend looked up. “Are you feeling alright?”

“I’m gonna get a candle.”

“Okay. You good?”

“I just... I just need a candle.”

Villain stood, stiff legs aching with pins and needles as they moved across the small, damp-walled apartment. The kitchen, or what was little more than a countertop with a fridge and microwave, was barren, snack bowls long since left with nothing but crumbs.

They drew open the door of one of the wall-mounted cabinets, unveiling a series of shelves, stacked with white pillars of wax. Most lumpy and misshapen, the rest bent and folded in on themselves. Villain selected one, moving back to where Old Friend had just finished resetting the board. They sat in their spot, a place already well worn into the carpet.

“Do you want to play again?” Old Friend’s voice had grown quiet, concerned.

“Yeah... Just give me a second.”

“Need to let it out?”

“Yeah.”

The firebrand gripped the white-waxed candle in one hand, then the other. Feeling the film transfer from palm to palm. The flame in their stomach answered the call without hesitance. They had already felt the heat, struggling to escape into their veins.

It was slow, at first. The wax did not melt, simply molding itself, bulging and shifting as to allow Villain’s fingers to make their mark. Their eyes fixed upon the process: The control of it. The way in which the wax moved only on their call.

It helped them breathe.

“Violet...” They began, frowning again. “That’s the second bridge accident this year.”

“There’s a lot of bridges, to be fair.”

“But not a lot of collapses.”

“What are you saying?”

“It seems so much like a coincidence, but... How many have we lost, this year?”

“Violet and Argyle, uh, Aaron I think. Dana and Evelyn and-”

“And what month is it?”

“April?”

“Exactly.”

“I mean, we lose a lot, but...”

“And they’re always accidents. Car crashes. Building fires. Drownings. But they’re not accidents.”

The wax yielded with more readiness. A few droplets fell, deftly caught by Villain’s other hand.

“What do you mean, they’re not accidents? I don’t think people drown on purpose.”

“Well, yeah. But that’s not what I mean. If they were actually accidents, you would think they’d happen at random times. But-”

“It’s always when the Heroes are around. Always during battle.”

“Exactly.”

“I don’t think the Heroes are doing it on purpose, though. I mean, they wouldn’t just blow up a bridge to kill one villain. The battles just get too intense, I think. I mean, how many times have you almost died in battle?”

“A lot.”

“Same here. That’s all.”

“No. No.” Villain shook their head. “I’ve almost died many times. But I haven’t died. Because I’m not stupid. And the others weren’t, either.”

“I don’t think the Heroes are killing people, Villain.”

“Then what else are they doing?”

“I don’t know, protecting the city? Whatever nonsense they say.”

“Protecting the city from us. Supposedly. But it seems like they’re a hell of a lot more focused on these big battles.”

“That’s kind of our fault, to be fair.”

“Is it? Most of our didn’t choose this life.”

“We’re still doing, I mean, crimes. Like, we’re definitely criminals.”

“Then they should be taking us to prison.”

“Isn’t that what they do?”

“When is the last time you heard of anyone going to prison?”

“I mean, uh... What about Jared?”

“You mean the one they got in a van that then mysteriously exploded?”

“Oh. Right. What about, uh, didn’t they get Kara?”

“Yeah. And then pronounced her dead at the hospital.”

“Okay. Maybe... maybe you have a point.”

Between Villain’s fingers, a single droplet of candle wax fell.

“Yeah.”

Old Friend sighed.

“Do you want to play again?”

“Mhm.”

Villain drew the heat from their palms, allowing the remnants of the candle to solidify in their hands. They placed it down, then, though droplets of white still stuck to their fingers.

“I think...” Old Friend looked down at the board, considering their first move. “I think if the Heroes ever capture you, you’ll find they’re a lot kinder than you expect.”

Villain snorted in laughter.

“If the Heroes ever capture me, there will nothing left of my body to find.”

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“It’s a miracle.”

“It is. The damage they sustained... I can hardly believe that there’s enough blood left in them to keep them alive.”

“Hardly any blood. Hardly any body, either.”

“Yeah.”

“A real miracle. The guys down in Radiology, they thought we got the scans mixed up. They confused them for those of the guy in the other room. The motorcycle crash one.”

“That makes sense. To think that a human did this...”

“Not a normal human. A lot stronger than a normal human.”

“But with the same morals as a normal human.”

“You’d hope so.”

“Oh. Crap, looks like they’re waking up. Let’s give a bit more propofol... They need their rest.”

Villain’s closed eyes twitched, as though dreaming. At least, they did not think they were dreaming. It was hard to say, these days...

Had it been days? Or just a couple of hours? They tried to think, to remember, but the will to do so was deeply buried under blankets and bitter-tasting medicines. They longed to sit up, to move, to open their eyes, but those thoughts came from such a small part of their mind. The rest of them was so tired...

The numbness, now, was softer. Warmer. It was not a force of overwhelming heat, laughing at them and telling them to forget their pain, to keep moving. Instead, this time, the numbness was simply warm. Pleasantly so. Urging them to rest, to sleep, to ignore the taste of iron on their tongue that refused to go away.

Sleeping and wakefulness, to them, felt to be a sliding scale. They spent much time at the former end, in blissful unconsciousness, but had yet to find themself at the latter. They struggled for it, struggled to get close, but their anxious murmurs and twitching were always responded to with soft words and hands and more warmth in their veins.

Vilain was floating for a moment. Again, the hundredth time, they struggled to part their lips, but only managed to exert effort to no end.

“Their leg... I’ve never seen anything like it before.”

“Are you sure they’re strong enough for this?”

“Yeah. We can’t wait any longer. The bone will heal wrong if we wait any longer.”

“Okay.”

The numbness was stronger, that time.

“Villain? Villain?”

Their eyelids twitched, again.

“They said you’d opened your eyes, earlier...”

There was more softness, in that tone. Not the pitying notes of a doctor or nerve-wracked surgeon, but the warm coaxing of a friend.

The hand on their wrist was cold.

Their fingers twitched, then their lips. They tried to utter out a syllable, but only managed a shaky breath.

“Yeah, that’s it. Thank you. Do you remember me?”

Did they? They weren’t sure what they remembered, anymore. They remembered being here. They remembered the blankets and the half-hearted attempts by the nurses to coax them into swallowing a spoonful of jello.

“It’s Doctor. Do you remember me? Do you remember Doctor?”

“Doctor?”

The word came out more like a croak. Their eyes twitched with more furor this time, until, at long last, the world flooded into sterile existence around them. They got distracted, a moment, by the pattern of white tiles above.

“There you go!” There was genuine pride in that voice. “I knew you could do it.”

“Mmm.”

“Can you hear me?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.” That cold hand moved from their wrist to their hand. Trying to hold it, to embrace their fingers. But Villain did not have the strength for such a thing. “I’m so sorry, Villain. I’m so sorry.”

“F- for what?”“

“I- I almost killed you! Had you stayed under my care... I’m sorry.”

Villain blinked a moment, trying to think.

“You...” Their throat felt so terribly raw. “You were right.”

“It wasn’t right to let Hero try to kill you.”

“No... Not that. You said, uh, about warmth. ‘Bout heat.”

There was a smile. Villain did not have to see it to know that it was there.

“You understood?”

“Yes. On th’stage.”

“Yeah. Yeah, you did good.”

“I get it, now. I think... Heat can, uh, it can destroy buildings.” Their words were awfully drawn out, hard to understand through their lengthy slurring. “But it can also... bake cookies.”

Doctor laughed, at that.

“You’re right. You’re right.”

Villain’s fingers finally agreed to move, wrapping around Doctor’s hand.

“Thank you.”

“Of course, Villain.” Another sigh. This one, warm. “Have you heard, what they’re saying about you? You lost so much blood. And your organs were all over the place. It’s a miracle that you survived.”

The grasp on Villain’s hand tightened.

“They said you only lived because you wanted to. Because you really, really wanted to survive. Is that right?”

“I... I think it is. Yeah.”

“Yeah. I’ll be back, okay? Get some rest.”

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It was three weeks after, that they were allowed to have any more visitors. Three weeks of medicines and surgeries and treatments and x-rays. It all blurred in their mind, until the calendar held as little meaning to them as the results of their blood tests.

They weren’t healed. Certainly not. But wakefulness no longer felt like such a monumental effort.

The jello tasted like nothing as they placed it upon their tongue. Nothing but sugar and sweetener, desperately trying to mask the tastelessness of gelatin. By the time the door opened, which it did with such a force that Villain wondered if it had been struck with a battering ram, they were almost done with the cup of overly-sweet dessert.

They jumped, nearly dropping their plastic spoon as their gaze snapped upwards. For a split second, the figure in the doorway made their limbs begin to shake, a familiar pressure reviving on their neck. But, it only lasted a second.

Sidekick looked different. Their stature was the same, certainly, as well-muscled as ever, but it was no longer draped in any sort of uniform. Instead, a grey sweatshirt struggled to contain their form, marked with the logo of some sports team or another.

Villain took another bite of jello.

“Good news.” Sidekick’s smile had the same media allure that Hero once showed the cameras, sending a shiver down Villain’s spine. They strode nearer, confident steps striking the tile floor. Compared to them, Villain felt terribly small. “Come on, don’t you want to hear it?”

Another bite and the cup was empty. They placed it down on the small table next to their bed.

“Um... Yeah. Okay.” They could not muster up nearly enough energy to match that of their visitor.

“Okay, so, J- sorry, uh, you-know-who, they found the video. The real one. Without all the edits.”

“That’s... good.”

“Mhm. We have news stations willing to broadcast it, too. Put some doubt on the story, right?”

“Right.”

“You... Don’t seem as excited as I remember you being.”

“Sorry.” Villain’s gaze cast downwards. “I’m still just a little tired, and all.”

“Oh. Well, that makes sense. You got hurt pretty bad. Do you have any idea when you might be out of here?”

“Not really.”

“I’ll try to ask a nurse or something. When you’re strong enough, though, we’ve got this whole plan. You’re gonna be, like, our emissary. Between us and the villains, yeah?”

“Uh... why?”

“Well, I mean, the Heroes only really exist to stop you and the other villains. If we can just... convince them to stop doing villain stuff, then the public will start the see that the Heroes are, y’know, not all their cracked up to be.”

Villain struggled to suppress a smile. They couldn’t imagine trying to ask some of their former cohorts to all of a sudden go on the straight and narrow.

Still, even beneath the blankets and the medicine, they felt the smallest scrap of warmth return. A tiny ember, floating in their stomach.

The opportunity to turn their pain into something other than nightmares and tears in the hospital bed’s pillow.

“When I’m out of here... well, we’ll have to see, I guess.”

“That’s all we can really hope for. Now, uh, I kind of have to go. They’re about to notice I broke a window.”

“You w-”

“Sorry! Gotta go!”

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It was the smell that made Villain recognize their second visitor, more than their appearance.

They looked different. Quite different. Taller, slightly, with tight cords of muscle now curling about their neck. Nothing like the tiny twig they’d once known.

It looked like they’d finally hit their growth spurt, after all. A decade late.

The scent that they carried with them was one of freshly cut wood, the rural stench of sawdust, accompanied by the damp musk of a home long forgotten.

“Holy shit, candle boy.”

Four words. Four stupid words, uttered the moment Old Friend walked through the door.

Villain burst out laughing.

Not laughter of sorrow, or of venom. True laughter. The warmth that filled their chest this time had nothing to do with flame.

“So, am I allowed to hug you, or...”

“There’s no doctors here to tell us not to.”

“Good point.”

The warmth in Villain’s chest only increased with Old Friend’s embrace. Their friend buried their head in their shoulder. The tears wet quickly through Villain’s hospital gown.

“I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

“You didn’t have anything to do with it.”

“I should have-”

“It’s in the past, now. I’m just so glad you’re alive.”

“Just to be clear... you’re not a good guy?”

“I don’t know what I am. But I’m still your friend.”

“That’s all I care about.”

The embrace broke off after over a minute, though it was still far too soon.

“We have an apartment. Me and Aggie and some others.” Old Friend stepped back. “We have a room all set up. Even found some of your old stuff. I know it’s gonna be a while, but... you’ve always got somewhere to go, okay?”

“Okay.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

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The End

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I can’t thank you guys enough for reading through this story and experiencing it with me. This is the end of this story, but I hope to make another one soon!

There is no next part, so there are no story paths to choose from for next time. But, I still have options to pick from. I want to hear what you think Villain’s choice will be!

A) Be a hero. Go with Sidekick, and liberate the city

B) Be a friend. Return to Old Friend. Make life good again.

[floorbe]

hello could you do a thing where instead of ishimaru, reader got bonked on the head and after the trial he discovers her standing infront of his door knocking on it. pls I just want angst with a happy ending for our boi.

this request scratched a very specific itch in my brain that i did not know i had. thank u sm

~

A part of him wishes he still had Kiyondo, because then at least he would be feeling anger, and at least anger is more manageable than grief. But he’d stopped feeling angry the minute he saw you laying on that floor. It was his anger that led to this. His anger that pushed you away, that told you he didn’t need you anymore, that you were nothing compared to him and his bro being together again. 

If he had kept you close to him maybe he could’ve convinced you not to go. 

Maybe you would still be alive; talking with him during breakfast, grinning with that award winning smile of yours whenever he offered to study together, pouting whenever you’d get a question wrong...

But he hadn’t. And now you’re gone. 

And now he’s really alone, because the flames he felt from Kiyondo are gone, any comfort he felt from feeling like his bro was still with him is gone, Alter Ego is gone, and now you’re gone. 

Why bother anymore? What else was there to live for if everyone he cared about was dead? 

He’s snapped from his thoughts as he’s nearly shoved into the execution room by Yasuhiro (“C’mon, man, Monokuma will kill you, too, if you don’t come.” But would that be anything less than he deserves?) to watch Celeste be punished. 

He can’t bring himself to muster any sort of feeling for the presentation. The only reason he turns away is because the flames licking at her form remind him of himself. 

-

He doesn’t need to be guided back to his room by Yasuhiro after the execution. He trails behind the rest of the group, eyes trained on the tips of his boots as they quietly tap against the tile. He only falters in front of the cafeteria, lingering in front of it as everyone continues on, returning to their dorms without a second glance behind them. 

His vision begins to blur with new unshed tears, breath hitching as he remembers all of the mornings he spent with you, the few mornings he spent with you and Mondo, chatting languidly as if this game didn’t exist. The excitement he felt at the idea of his first friends. 

His vision only begins to clear as tears drip down his face again. He has to rip himself away from gazing into the cafeteria, fists clenching almost painfully as he stiffly walks back to his dorm, hoping to clear any memories of you by leaving. 

As he approaches the dorms he hears a soft knocking, and he furrows his eyebrows. Rubbing at the leftover tears roughly with his sleeve, he halts just before turning the corner into the hall. Everyone should be in their dorms right now... was someone attempting another murder? Needing comfort after a trial?

He feels another pang in his heart at the latter, mind forcing him to remember how you’d knocked on his door after Mondo’s trial, staying with him all night as he sobbed in your arms. Shaking his head vigorously, he sniffles and turns to start down the hall. If someone was going to kill him, so be it.

He freezes as soon as his eyes meet the shaking form of someone knocking on what turns out to be his door. This has to be a hallucination, or Monokuma playing a sick joke on him, because he swears he’s looking at you, but it couldn’t be, he saw you die; he held your body in his arms- 

But the way your head is caked with dry blood is telling him he must’ve made a mistake, because it seems like you’re still alive, shaking and weak, and knocking on his door. Snapping out of his frozen state, he rushes towards you, and any doubts of you being fake are flung from his mind as soon as you turn to lock eyes with him.

He doesn’t try to hold back his loud sobs as he nearly yanks you into his arms, clutching you like you’re a lifeline. His bawling only intensifies as you wrap your arms around him, whimpering as you pull yourself even closer to him. He buries his face into your shoulder, shuddering as he feels you clutch at his uniform because it only further proves to him that you’re here.

His chest heaves as he tries to calm himself enough to speak to you, to ask how you survived, only to break down again when he feels you start to cry as well. You cling to each other, not daring to loosen your grip for even a moment, as if fearful of being ripped away from the other again.

He only pulls away once he remembers that you’re still injured, there’s still dry blood on your head, and you likely need to be treated as soon as possible. He keeps you close in his grasp, and you seem to share the same need for closeness, because you keep a hold on his arms to keep him from pulling farther back. 

“Y-your head,” Taka finally chokes out, “H-how...?” He takes a shaky breath in, trying to collect himself enough to speak without crying again, “W-we need to treat it. There’s a n-nurses office on th-this floor.” 

You sniffle, eyes still shining with tears, and he resists the urge to pull you back in for another hug, because it’s you, you’re really alive, and he doesn’t want to let go of you. “Y-yeah,” you murmur, “Can- um... I-I’m really weak still, s-so would you m-mind c-carr...” Your voice cracks and breaks off, hoarse from not talking, and he’s reminded of just how frail you look right now, how the your trembling isn’t just because of your tears. 

Fortunately, he’s able to deduce what you’re asking for, nodding as he slides his arms to rest on your back and near the back of your knees. You wrap your arms around his neck, locking them in place as he lifts you into his arms as gently as he can. He ignores the slight heat rushing to his face as he you nestle your face into the crook of his neck, instead focusing on making sure you stay awake as he carries you to the nurse’s office to treat your injury. 

[blacklister214]

Blacklist Secret Santa Gift

@takadasaiko​ Here’s your Secret Santa Gift! Enjoy!

Consequences

Strange how easy it was to take as commonplace things that once would have been considered unattainable luxuries. The girl who would one day become Scottie Hargrave would have never dared to dream of the high-rise the woman would call home. Not the closet of couture, not the priceless art adorning the wall, and not even the Egyptian cotton sheets that currently wrapped around her body like a decadent cocoon. Even ten years ago, long after she’d accepted such possessions as her due, the deep slumber she’d been experiencing would have been an indulgence completely beyond her reach. A decade later she’d come to expect a peaceful night’s rest. That was why, when she jolted awake, she knew instantly something had to be wrong.

Instinctively her hand flew to her nightstand for her gun. It wasn’t there. Of course. Scottie had locked it away in preparation for her granddaughter’s extended visit. Her gaze swept the room for the presence she sensed there. Sure enough, sitting in a chair ten feet away was a still figure assessing her with icy consideration. Scottie's heart leapt in her chest as her mind flew back decades in time. Katarina. It couldn’t be.

The woman leaned forward and the moonlight from the window partly illuminated her face. Scottie released a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. Not Katarina. Masha, or rather Elizabeth, as she preferred to be called. Of course. That made far more sense than a ghost. Strange to have mistaken one for the other. Despite their relationship, mother and daughter looked very little alike. It was only now and then that something in Elizabeth’s posture or expression brought a flash of bittersweet recognition. 

“Elizabeth? What’s wrong?” It had been weeks since she’d last seen her daughter-in-law, since Elizabeth had elected to go to war with Raymond Reddington over the murder of her mother. Pain shot through Scottie as she remembered that phone call. Elizabeth had explained what had happened. Katarina Rostova had miraculously returned from the dead, only to be murdered by the concierge of crime. 

Scottie had been so shocked, she didn’t know how she’d managed to absorb the rest of the details. Why hadn’t Katarina reached out? Scottie would have helped. Katarina had to have known that. Elizabeth hadn’t realized the impact of the information she was imparting. She’d merely been explaining why she needed Scottie to care for Agnes for an extended period of time.     

“So many things.” Eyes finally adjusting to the dark room Scottie suddenly focused on the gun Elizabeth was casually resting on her thigh. Adrenaline flooded the older woman’s system.

“Elizabeth, why do you have that gun?” Elizabeth tilted her head to the side in an uncanny imitation of Raymond Reddington. 

“Family is a funny concept isn’t it? I share blood with Agnes. Agnes shares blood with you. Suddenly I’m willing to turn my child over to a woman who shot up a church on my wedding day. Who tried to have me kidnapped. Who had my husband tortured.” Scottie could hear the quiet rage unlaying every word. Sins that had been forgiven, if not forgotten now blistered in her ears. Still, Elizabeth couldn’t claim superiority on every front. People in glass houses, as the saying went, shouldn’t throw stones.

“I’m not the only person in this room to have done that, if I recall. Tom forgave both of us-” 

Elizabeth raised her weapon so that it was now pointing directly between Scottie’s eyes. If she squeezed the trigger, that was it. At this range there was no way Katarina’s daughter would miss.

“Don’t you say his name!” There was so much anger and grief Scottie felt, for a moment, a twinge of shame. It was a novel experience to say the least. Still, she wasn’t such a hypocrite that she would apologize. If she’d had the choice, she knew she’d do it all over again.   

“You know.” When Elizabeth had first awoken from her coma, Scottie had feared discovery. She imagined Elizabeth might refuse to accept that her husband was gone. That she might have gone digging and uncovered the truth. Elizabeth hadn’t, probably because Harold Cooper had been a witness to “Tom’s” corpse. Reddington, she might have disbelieved, but not the assistant director of the FBI. That the truth should surface now, after so much time had passed was surprising. 

“I found Dr. Selma Orchard.” That explained it. The war with Raymond had pushed Elizabeth to dig more fiercely that she had before. Of course she’d reach out to Orchard. Scottie kicked herself for not having anticipated it. 

“I see.” She’d hidden the good doctor well, but Elizabeth was an FBI agent with all the resources that entailed. Scottie could easily image Orchard slightly relaxing her guard after years had passed. It wouldn’t have taken much.

“How?” Scottie had expected this question. What she’d achieved under the noses of the FBI AND Raymond Reddington was quite remarkable. If it hadn’t caused her so much pain, she might even be proud of herself.

“Tom called me before he got home. My people arrived just after Reddington. They followed you to the hospital. Tom flat-lined on the table, but they were able to resuscitate. Once he stabilized, I got him out. A few bribes. Doctored surveillance footage. The body Cooper saw was a German arms dealer surgically altered to look like Tom down to every last scar and faded tattoo.” She’d gotten the idea from the Independence, USA mission Tom himself had been a part of. Without that body there was no way Reddington would have believed Tom was really dead.

Elizabeth shook her head angrily, not in the mood apparently to be impressed. Scottie couldn’t exactly blame her.

“Not ‘how did you pull it off?’. I don’t CARE how you pulled it off. I meant ‘How could you do this?’ To me. To Agnes! You stole MY HUSBAND! You stole HER FATHER!” Now Scottie felt herself becoming angry. She “stole” him?! As if Scottie didn’t have as much, if not more of a claim on Tom. As if it were Scottie’s fault that Tom had nearly died. As if it was for Scottie that Tom had put himself in mortal jeopardy.

“I SAVED your husband. I SAVED Agnes’ father. I SAVED MY SON!” Scottie took a deep breath. She didn’t blame Elizabeth. Not really. Not for being angry. Not for Tom’s nearly fatal wounds. She hadn’t chosen to be born into the web of danger and deceit any more than Tom had. “This wasn’t some maniacal plan I hatched to cause you pain. Tom was in a coma. You were in a coma. I didn’t know when or if either of you would wake up. When I faked his death, I was only thinking of protecting him from the people who came after him and from Reddington.

It was only after I’d had him that I realized the truth. Tom would never be safe with you, even without knowing Reddington’s secret. There is nowhere the two of you could run that he wouldn’t find you. The same with Agnes. Reddington would NEVER let either of you go.” As a mother, she had had no choice. She wouldn’t let her boy die. Not again. Not when she could save him.

“And so you decided to take him away from both of us.” Scottie sighed. Elizabeth still didn’t understand. She hadn’t been the only one who’d lost him.

“Tom Keen would never leave his wife and child not for any reason. But Jacob Phelps was a survivor. He could be reasoned with.” With Orchard’s help she had rolled her son back to an earlier version. Someone who could be trusted to act in his own self interest, rather than that of his family.

“What did you tell him?”

“The truth. I told him he’d had a violent falling out with Bill McCready a few years ago. That he’d recently started working for me. That Raymond Reddington wanted him dead and very nearly got his wish. That he had the funds to start over anywhere in the world he chose.” The memories were there, carefully edited by Orchard’s skill, and any gaps easily explained by the trauma he’d suffered.

“You didn’t tell him you’re his mother?” Scottie swallowed, recalling having to make that decision. There had been a time, a too brief time, when she’d seen a look in her son’s eyes. Love for her, for his mother. Quite the contrast to the wary expression the last time she’d seen them.

“No. I couldn’t risk it. He may have wanted to stay in contact. So you see, I didn’t do anything to you I didn’t do to myself.” If Scottie had expected sympathy, she was destined for disappointment. The look Elizabeth gave her now was pure contempt.

“Yes, you did. You let me think he was dead. You let me think Tom was dead because of me.” Scottie swallowed the retort about how that had very nearly been the case. That wouldn’t help the situation.

“Agnes was kidnapped when she was a baby. You went months without knowing if she was alive or dead. You have had a taste of what it feels like to lose your child. I had already buried my son once. I could not endure it again.” There it was, as much of an apology as she was capable of making. A plea, mother to mother, for Elizabeth understanding, if not forgiveness. She studied the FBI agent’s face and thought she detected, just for a moment, a softening of expression. It was gone as quickly as it had appeared.

“Where is he?” Scottie shook her head.

“I don’t know.” Elizabeth raised the gun in silent threat. “You can shoot me, but it won’t change my answer. I didn’t want to live with the temptation.” Would Elizabeth shoot her? Scottie was still Tom’s mother. Agnes was still down the hall. Elizabeth’s thoughts seemed to follow a similar path as she glanced to the door. Her lips tightened as she stood. A decision had been made.

“I’m going to find him.” Scottie briefly closed her eyes. Why had her son married such a stubborn woman? 

“He’s not the same man you knew.” It was a desperate bid, but it was also the truth. Elizabeth had only ever known a man who loved her. Who’d wanted her enough to risk death to be with her. 

“And I’m not the same woman. It doesn’t matter. He still deserves the truth. He deserves to be able to make his own choices. Something neither you, nor Reddington can seem to grasp.” The comparison stung especially in light of recent events.

“Then I hope you can live with the consequences.” She gazed after Elizabeth, eyes following her through the door and lingering there long after. There was no point in laying back down. Sleep would not come for her again tonight. Instead her mind raced with all the things she had done, and all the things she had yet to do to save her son. 

“I hope we both can.” 

[bonesaldente]

Ferocious I Darth Maul x Reader

Chapter 9: Apart

last chapter

all chapters

ao3 

words: ~2300

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War seems to follow him like a predator stalking its prey. Ever since he was a child, he was waging a war - against his master, against the Jedi, against himself. He knows it is the doing of the dark side that won’t allow for a moment of peace, constantly creating conflict where there is none to further fuel him. The only times he felt something like serenity were the ones spent with you in private, when he didn’t have an image to uphold or enemies to watch out for. These were the most peaceful moments of his existence, for he knew everything he needed to protect was right there in his arms, as safe as you could be.

Then, of course, there were the times of solitude with his brother. They, too, brought a type of peace, but it was vastly different in that they did not hold the same kind of honesty the times with you did. He knew his brother never chose to join him. He knew the nightsisters made him into something he was not and used him as a puppet, yet the feeling of having a brother, family, was enough to quieten the cries in the back of his mind.

Now both of these people are gone.

He clenches his fists to give his insatiable rage some outlet and allow his mind to focus once more. One person is gone forever, slaughtered by no other than master. But the other is still alive, he is certain, separated from him right when he thought they were safe at last. 

Being captured by Sidious was a heavy setback, one that drew out your rescue much longer than he ever wanted. With the civil war on Mandalore and his forces spread thin, Maul feels his hopes diminish. How can he rescue you from the Republic if he doesn’t know your location, doesn’t have the forces to effectively fight them or even pose a threat to them, and now doesn’t even have his brother to confide in for advice?

He is overwhelmed. Overwhelmed and exhausted to his bones, wanting nothing more than to go back to the day in the throne room and alter his decision.

A series of coughs from an alcove in the wall snaps him out of his downward spiral of thoughts. There on the ground sits the last remaining member of his family, even though their relationship has been less than familiar in the past. He may not have been able to protect you the way he swore he would, but he would most certainly care for your sister during your absence.

“Have you found anything?” She asks hoarsely and looks up at him with eyes that hold a sadness that could rival his own internally.

“Nothing,” he admits quietly, studying the miserable state of Loa. 

“What are we going to do?” She whispers, staring at the wall again while hugging her knees.

“I… I’ll get her back. I promise.”

“How?” She doesn’t trust as easily as her usually light demeanor would let on. It reminds him of you.

“If need be, I will board their cruiser alone and fight my way through. I won’t rest until she’s back with us.”

“We don’t even know where she is.”

She is right and it pains him. He hasn’t been able to feel you at all. It isn’t necessarily a sign that you are unwell, but most likely an indicator that you are far, far away from him. Space is vast and the chances of finding a particular cruiser without any information are close to zero. Now, they don’t even have the crime syndicates to get information from.

His shoulders drop and he rubs his temples, struggling to find the right words to console the one entrusted to him. Eventually, he sits down on his knees beside her.

Her force signature is largely different at first, but the more he hones in on it, the more he can feel the similarities in the small swirls of energy surrounding her and you, and it provides him with the tiniest bit of solace.

When he opens his eyes again, he is almost glad she at least doesn’t have your eyes. If she did, it would be all the more painful to see them wide open now, staring at him like the simple act of sitting on the ground defied his nature.

He clears his throat.

“Your sister is the most competent person I know. She broke out of Sundari prison in less than ten minutes, and even the Jedi won’t be able to hold her,” I hope. “She’ll find a way to get in touch with us. Either that or we will be notified of the cruiser’s location when they inevitably are forced to make a stop.”

She says nothing in response, the truth that there is nothing they can do for now hanging heavily in the air.

He wishes he could connect with her more, but there is an impermeable power imbalance that divides the air between them. It was always easier when you were around.

“You’re really important to her.”

Her statement is quiet, like it is a secret she is sharing with him.

“Ever since she saw you on Zanbar she’s been different. Before, she used to get this look sometimes, like she was missing something, though she never talked about it. But I get it now.” Her frown turns into a look of earnestness. “She trusts you. And if my sister decides you are worth her trust, then so do I.”

Trust is a sparse resource to come by these days. 

“I will not fail you,” he promises, equally sincere.

However he will achieve that, he doesn’t know. Right now, all he can do is trust in your abilities. All comms are set to the highest sensitivity possible, so if you contact any Mandalorian lines, he will know. 

He walks back to the cockpit and sits down in the copilot chair, staring into the emptiness of space.

Somewhere out there, you are waiting for him. And he will find you.

 *

 Your hands hold the rifle steady while you hold your breath, not allowing a single sound to disturb the silence of the forest. Your target is right in the center of the scope you’re looking through, now bowing down to feed on the leaves of a bush.

The sound of your shot seems louder than it’s ever been when it breaks through the quiet, but your prey has already fallen to the ground dead before the soundwaves even reach its ears. Satisfied with your work, you lean back on your heels, screwing the scope off your rifle and fastening the weapon on your back once more.

You remain on guard while you head toward what will be your dinner for tonight, and probably tomorrow. You and your companion, whom you did not choose to spend time with, have yet to encounter any predators. The one time you thought you did, the noise came from a branch falling off a rotten tree, but you can never be too careful.

The hoofed creature weighs more than you expected, and by the time you’ve reached the makeshift camp, you’re panting.

“Nice catch,” Kenobi comments, not turning his attention away from the wires he is crouched in front of.

“You’re presuming I’ll share it with you.”

“If I need to hunt for my own food, we’ll be stuck here longer.”

Good point. You say nothing.

“I’m afraid we’ll have to make a fire tonight. The sun is setting again and I can’t work in the dark.” “You were the one who said it’d attract predators.” You point out passive-aggressively.

“I didn’t know then that the days would be this short and the nights this long. If we ever want to send out a signal, I’ll have to work at night too.”

“Whatever,” you utter, picking up a few twigs and tossing them into the middle of the small clearing.

 The biggest advantage to having an actual fire is that you can finally roast the animal’s meat instead of painstakingly holding every small piece over the small flame produced by the lighter on your vambrace.

Wordlessly, you both chew on the food while sitting in complete opposite corners of the camp. It is no secret that your brief alliance is involuntary and that neither of you are interested in becoming friends along the way, so you don’t even pretend to like each other.

The sound of a twig snapping nearly makes you jump out of your skin and you are on your feet in the blink of an eye. “Did you hear that?” You ask under your breath, eyes trying to make out any shapes in the blackness of the woods, the light of the fire hardly enough to reach the edge of the clearing, let alone its surroundings.

“I can feel something… There’s an animal.”

He ignites his lightsaber and for once, you are fine with him wielding the weapon.

“Where is it?” You whisper, slowly drawing your vibroblades.

“It’s… Down! ” 

You don’t drop a second too soon, because the very moment your body comes in contact with the ground, something flies over you with a wild roar, landing only inches from you.

The animal doesn’t turn back around to launch another attack on you, targeting Kenobi in your stead. You can’t see what’s happening, but apparently, its jaw misses him, since when you are back on your feet, Kenobi is still very much alive, holding out his lightsaber defensively and wow-

That animal is massive. 

Its muscled body is at least fifteen feet long, saliva dripping from fangs the size of your shinbone while its puffy tail whips back and forth angrily.

“Oh dear,” you breathe, watching as its eyes flicker back and forth between you and Kenobi, seemingly undecided on who would make for a better meal.

Please pick Kenobi, please attack him, I won’t make for a good snack at all,  I-

It hesitates for a moment too long and suddenly lets out an ear-shattering cry when the blue blade of a lightsaber neatly slices one of his legs off. 

Acting faster than your fear, you jump forward and use the opening Kenobi created to bury your blade right where you guess its jugular is, narrowly evading the deadly swipe of its claws and finally reveling in the gurgling sound it emits as it perishes.

For a minute, you’re both just staring at the carcass as a puddle of blood forms around your feet. Then, you squat and remove one of the enormous fangs from its mouth.

“A trophy? Really?” The Jedi sounds positively exasperated.

“I’ll use it to slit your throat once we are off this planet.”

He doesn’t look too worried.

Good. He won’t see it coming.

“Perhaps keeping the body here will scare off others of its kind,” he ponders. 

“Or they’re sentient enough to feel vengeance,” you finish the thought. “I say we get rid of it.”

“Good luck, then.”

You freeze, examining his barely illuminated face.

“You won’t help me.”

“Correct.”

“Come on! You want to keep this around because you think it might scare other animals away?”

“They’ll smell it!” He argues.

“It won’t smell like much of anything other than death once it starts to rot,” you retort angrily.

“You’d know, wouldn’t you?” His entire demeanor has changed to something less contained, less defensive than his usual stance. “After all, you’re the expert when it comes to cold-blooded murder.”

You take a step back in surprise.

“Where’s this coming from all of a sudden?”

“Do you think I want to be stranded with you here?” He hisses. “Well, I don’t. I don’t know how, but the longer I’m around you, the more I feel like the dark side surrounds you.”

“That’s ridiculous. I’m not even force-sensitive.”

“I know that.” His tone is slightly calmer now. “But I know what I’m sensing.”

Silently, you calculate the expression on his face, fiddling with the ring on your finger.

“Is it possible,” you begin quietly, “for an individual to, I don’t know, plant something inside the mind that would… alter a person?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Just answer the question.”

The Jedi sighs, sitting down tiredly a few feet away from you.

“I wouldn’t rule out the possibility, though that person would have to be extremely powerful in order to… Wait, are you talking about Maul?”

“What?”

“Maul, is he manipulating you? Is he forcing you to…”

“No, how could you even- I’m talking about the Sith lord!” You shake your head in annoyance. “Remember, the one you and your council are so desperate to find?”

“You suspect he manipulated you?”

You swallow and avert your gaze, feeling fear get a hold of you when you simply think of the hooded man.

“Maybe,” you whisper, then resume with a slightly stronger voice. “I am unable to talk about him. When I do, my body forces me to stop, like he is taking control of my mind… Just thinking about him makes my skin crawl.” You shudder. 

Kenobi narrows his eyes.

“For that, you’d at least have to have met him.”

“I have.”

He looks taken aback.

“That would explain it.” He pauses. “I’m not sure if anything can be done about that. We have healers at the temple but…”

“Forget it.”

He sighs.

“I’ll get back to working on the communicator.”

You just watch him while he dismantles the device further, laying out the single parts on the forest ground tidily.

It is strange - the seething hatred you were once able to feel for the man has faded into a faint dislike. He is still your adversary, of course - it is quite impossible to forget that fact since it’s how you ended up in this situation in the first place, but it feels less personal and more formal.

In a different life you may have respected him.

______

Happy holidays to everyone who celebrates something right now! I hope you're all making the best out of the current situation while staying safe and healthy! For everyone hoping for a reunion this chapter - My bad. We're not quite there yet :,) As always, comments are much appreciated (I check my inbox like twenty times a day after I post a new chapter simply because receiving them makes me so darn happy) <3

@princessayveke @spaghetti-666 @noiralei @larawl @secretnerd00 @bagpipes606 @zabrak-show @brilliantbutbatty @eleine-t1d

[sinner-as-saint]

Safe Haven

SAFE HAVEN

Bucky Barnes / The Winter Soldier x Reader headcanon

 Reader and Bucky Barnes’ life post Endgame. (Definitely not requested but I needed this myself)

 Themes: POST ENDGAME (SPOILER ALERT), FLUFF, language, SMUT, FEELS, slight angst.

 A/N: His little side part i cannot, he’s so pretty my angelic little baby boy. Also, not advisable to read if you haven’t watched Avengers: Endgame. Literally, the first line is a MAJOR spoiler. And for those who have, I hope you like it :) 

  ·        Things weren’t the same ever since everyone got back from Tony’s funeral. Hearts were broken, and you all had collective internalized the fact that nothing was going to be the same again.

 ·        As an Avenger yourself, having fought alongside Tony for years, you had trouble imagining a world with him. You couldn’t believe Earth lost her best defender. And neither could Bucky. Or anyone else really.

 ·        You, Bucky and Sam always had each other’s back. And now with Steve gone and Sam having new responsibilities on his shoulders, it was mainly just you and Bucky at the compound.

 ·        Yeah, the lot came by sometimes. You’d hear someone in the lab and you’d instantly know that it was Banner. Wanda came by many times, whenever you needed a girls’ night in. Thor was getting great at technology so he and the Guardians video called you a lot.  Clint stayed in touch and so did Scott and Peter.

 ·        Basically, you all were doing your own thing, but you knew that if you ever needed their help, they had all assured you that they were only a call away.

 ·        Bucky was never quite the talker, so he kept to himself most of the time. However, you noticed that that started changing quickly.

 ·        He would actually make an effort to talk sometimes. Sure, he was still the grumpy old man he is, but he would try his best.

 ·        Given that the compound was way too spacious for 2 people, you started noticing that he would try his best to be in the same room as you often. He would come the gym at around the same time as you did, which was literally in the middle of the night. He would wake up around the time as you just so he’d have company at breakfast.

 ·        Bucky and you had been friends in the past, but you were never close. You barely talked to each other outside of missions, so this side of Bucky was new to you.

 ·        He soon started getting more and more involved with everything you did. He’d help with dinner sometimes, he’d give you a helping hand whenever you needed advice on how to execute missions.

 ·        And soon, he talked a lot more than he did in the past, he’d make jokes, and sing along to songs and watch movies with you and Wanda whenever she came by. It was a beautiful friendship.

 ·        Time went by and living with Bucky became a habit. And you didn’t realize how much you cared about him until one day, he came back home form a solo mission, wounded.

 ·        You didn’t notice the tears falling down your cheeks as you tended his injuries.

 ·        “Hey, doll. I’m fine, I’m home now. Don’t cry,” he whispered, caressing your cheek with his bloodstained metal arm. And that’s when you broke into sobs, hugging him tightly. You couldn’t lose him. Your friends were away, and you had no family. Bucky was all you had, and you couldn’t lose him.

 ·        Ever since that day, you started sensing a sweet tension in the air whenever he was around. And you believed he sensed it too because he did whatever he could just to be close to you. He’d slowly inch closer to you as you sat on the couch. He’d swing by your room because he needed help with his phone. He’d even make you dinner on days when you were sick, or tired.

 ·        The nicknames came along little by little. He developed the habit of calling you ‘doll’ and ‘sugar’ you started calling him ‘Buck’ – which wasn’t weird unless you were in the company of the other Avengers.

 ·        The first one to notice was Banner. One time when he came over to work in the lab, you guys were having breakfast together and Bucky just casually said, “Doll, can you pass me the syrup?” followed by a “Thanks, sugar,” and Banner gave you a sly smirk and you spent the entire morning convincing him that no, you and Bucky were NOT dating.

 ·        After Banner left, the rest of your friends texted you immediately, teasing you about the nicknames. You blushed and smiled at every text, but you didn’t let Bucky know that you liked the names he called you.

 ·        Sure, nothing was always smooth. Some days, you had trouble adjusting to the tremendous changes which occurred in such a short span of time. But Bucky was always there to help. He’d calm you down by telling you stories about his past, whichever ones he could remember. And for some weird reasons, the sound of his voice helped a lot.

 ·        Some days, he had trouble sleeping. He had this reoccurring nightmare which showed him that everyone abandoned him and he had nowhere to go and no one to turn to. After dreaming about losing all those he cared about, including you, he couldn’t be alone in the dark of the night. So one day, he knocked on your bedroom door at around 2 a.m., sheepishly asking if he could sleep in your room. He offered to take the couch or even settle for the floor but you said you didn’t mind sharing the bed.

 ·        So you each slept on your own side of the bed, sharing the blanket. And soon, that became a little routine.

 ·        Every night, at some point, you’d hear knocking on your door and you’d unlock and open it to find a sleepy Bucky with his pillow tucked under his arm and messy bed hair at your door. You’d smile and let him in, every night.

 ·        Then slowly, you made little alterations to the routine. You started leaving your door unlocked so he could just walk in instead of knocking. And he started leaving behind his pillow.

 ·        Then one day he brought his own blanket, and left that too. And you had gotten used to it. You had gotten used to feeling a robust body in your bed. You had gotten used to the faint scent of his cologne and the fresh smell of his body wash on your sheets. And his bright red blanket, in contrast to your all black and white room interior.

 ·        Before you knew it, Bucky started leaving behind more and more stuff that he owned. And you never complained because you knew that it was eventually gonna lead up to this. And soon enough, you both started sharing the room. Even though you never talked about it, you were both happy to share the space.

 ·        As days went by, you grew more and more accustomed to living with each other. It was peaceful and you smiled whenever you found something belonging to him among your stuff. Like his random shirts would find their way into your closet. Your hair bands would end up on his bedside table – which he often used, and never returned, thinking you never noticed. But you did.

 ·        Falling for him was never planned, but it wasn’t hard either given that he was always so caring, attentive and so honest with you. And all the little things he did caused you to catch more and more feelings for him.

 ·        Like, he had all your food orders memorized. He’d often drive you places you needed to be at. He knew when to fool around making jokes and when to be dead serious.

 ·        Slowly, cuddling and touching each other became normal.

 ·        You started by sharing a blanket when you watched movies in the living area. Then you’d place your head on his shoulder and he’d lean his cheek down on your hair.

 ·        Little by little, you started cuddling in bed – knowing how much you both needed reassurance that someone was there, and they weren’t leaving anytime soon.

 ·        One morning you woke up, arms wrapped tightly around you and you smiled, knowing you were safe in the arms of the soldier you were rapidly losing your heart to.

 ·        Bucky got used to your touch as well. Whenever he had too much work to do, be it planning your missions or paperwork with the government or the other Avengers – any work which required him to sit at his desk for hours, he knew that he could expect you to walk in and give him a quick massage to loosen his stiff neck and shoulders.

 ·        He would always be the big spoon, making sure you were comfortable and safe in his arms.

 ·        At night, whenever you woke up and rolled over, you always saw his metal arm shining and the soft snores leaving his lips. And all was good in the world.

 ·        Bucky developed feelings for you too. Actually he liked you for a long time now, but he just never knew how to express it. He was too scared he’d blew it or that you’d never like a killing machine back.

 ·        But he decided that he should try his luck. He started by randomly buying you flowers, and placing them on your desk in your study room, with a little note which said his name. As if someone else lived with you.

 ·        His sweet gestures made you smile throughout the day; he showed you he loved you in numerous ways.

 ·        Whenever he woke up before you did, he’d carefully free his arms from under your body and make his way downstairs to make you breakfast.

 ·        When you acting more than friends but less than a couple, he was sort of nervous the first time you both got intimate in the bedroom. He was used to holding you and, many times before – way before living with you, he had thought of you while stroking his length. But this was different, because when you looked up at him with your big e/c eyes, all he wanted to do was to bury himself deep inside of you as you moaned out his name, loud and clear – letting it echo off the walls of the empty compound as he took you.

 ·        Bucky making love to you could leave you blushing for days. He left marks of his adoration for you everywhere on your skin, mainly in places where only he could see.

 ·        He was passionate, and slightly controlling in bed. He liked seeing you on your knees, lips wrapped around his length as he held your head, gently guiding himself inside your wet mouth. And you never once complained.

 ·        He loved the sounds you made in bed; your mewls, your moans and whimpers as your body squirmed under him.

 ·        He strongly disapproved of you being in possession of any sort of toy or vibrators. Because he believed that you didn’t need any of those to get you off while he was around.

 ·        He loved the feeling of having your bare skin pressed against his. And he liked your body heat.

 ·        Another thing he loved about you was that you knew he wasn’t very good at expressing his feelings through spoken words, yet you still managed to understand whatever he tried to convey. You knew when he needed a long hug. You knew when he needed to be left alone. You knew when he wanted you. You knew it all without him ever having to say a single word.

 ·        You helped him discover the culture, music, new cuisines and he was grateful. He was confused a lot of the time because he had missed out on so much and so many changes occurred during the time when he was the Winter Soldier. But you helped him through it all.

 ·        Once you showed him your playlist, he randomly decided that he liked the song ‘I Found’ by Amber Run. And you listened to it all the time because it reminded you of him.

 ·        Despite it all, you were still not an official couple. So when you confronted him about what he thought of your ‘relationship’ he said something which nearly brought you to tears.

 ·        “Doll, you’re more than just my girlfriend. You understand me like no one ever did and like no one ever will. When I’m with you, I don’t feel like a weapon. When you’re around, I don’t hear the screams of all the people I’ve hurt in the past. You help me through my nightmares and my darkest days, you love me unconditionally even when I don’t deserve it. You’re more than just my girl, babe, you’re my soul mate.”

 ·        And that was one of the rare times when Bucky poured his heart out and genuinely meant what he said, given that he was never a vocal guy.

 ·        Truth be told, he was your soul mate too. You knew it deep inside your heart.

 ·        Yet, just like any other couple, you had your ups and downs as well.

 ·        Bucky was someone who got really jealous really fast. And despite the fact that you rarely argued, whenever you did it was mainly because of him being caught up in a fit of jealousy and saying something hurtful, unintentionally.

 ·        Bucky tended to be quite controlling, even outside the bedroom. He liked knowing your whereabouts at all times. He had to call you every hour just to make sure you were okay, if ever you were away. And you were someone who cherished your freedom and freewill. Naturally, that caused some arguments to heat up sometimes.

 ·        However, you were both very quick to apologize because you couldn’t bear being mad at each other. And Bucky promised that he’d work on his issues as much as he could.

 ·        Your arguments often led to you both getting all the stress, tension, frustration and anger out of your systems by fucking the brains out of each other. You never complained while in the moment, however the next day, you couldn’t walk right. And seeing you struggling caused Bucky to walk around the entire day with a smug look on his face.

 ·        You never blamed Bucky for being too possessive or over protective. He had lost almost everyone he ever cared about, and he couldn’t bear the thought of losing you.

 ·        Late at night, wrapped in each other’s embrace, when you couldn’t sleep; he’d tell you about all the memories he had of the time spent with Steve. And every time he did, he’d get emotional about it. It made you sad as well.

 ·        “I guess, this is where the line ends, right? I don’t blame him though, he gave me a second chance and went on to live his life. The happy life he deserved. Plus, I got you now so I’m not complaining,” he say, wiping the few fallen tears which rolled down his cheeks.

 ·        “You deserve a happy life too, Buck. I will try my best to give you one, I love you so much baby,” you’d say, kissing him on the forehead. And he’d smile, realizing that you were the best thing that ever happened to him. And that he’d absolutely lose his mind if something ever took you away from him.

 ·        You guys eventually telling everyone about your relationship when they all came over for Christmas. And the rest of the team couldn’t be any happier.

 ·        “I leave for what, a year and now you’re dating the Summer Soldier? I’m happy for you Y/n. And hey, fall soldier, treat her right,” Sam a.k.a Cap would say, teasing the both of you.

 ·        Little did they know that he treated you better than anyone ever could. And you loved him, you loved him tenderly. You loved the crinkles by his eyes, the way his confusion could clearly be seen on his face whenever something was too complex for him to understand. You loved how hyper he’d get whenever he had too much sugar. You even loved him when he was grumpy for no reason. You loved how old fashioned he was, and how he could sometimes love you carefully while other times he’d pound into you like he owned your body.

 ·        And he loved you slightly more than that. You were his rock. His serenity; he knew he could turn to you whenever no matter what and you’d be there welcoming him with open, loving arms. You were the solace he sought ever since they wiped his mind and turned him into a weapon. You were his safe haven and you were the shelter he’d always come back to whenever the world got too dark and too cruel.

 ·        Neither of you knew yet, that the proof of Bucky’s unquestionable love for you was steadily growing inside your womb as the days went by. Neither of you knew about the blissful future which was to come. All you knew was that as long as you had each other, all will be fine.

[adrunkgiraffe]

I have been through this journey before, so I get to be actually frustrated about it.

IUnder a read more because im not subjecting y’all to this. Also: I should caveat I haven’t watched the episode cause I’m waiting till its on Netflix but I have watched way too many other episodes of Supernatural so I have a right to say these things. 

TL;DR: I mean you all knew Cas’ confession was fucking bullshit and that SPN is...hm. But I’d like to actually express my genuine frustration, for a moment? I’m going to say things you already know, but I have too much knowledge of this show and too much stupid meta in my brain about a series I haven’t genuinely enjoyed for at least 5 years which makes this not just blandly bad but disgustingly insulting to me not even as a gay just as like. A writer?

Or, even shorter: Cas’ confession is just a Charlie Bradbury Speedrun 

So. As some of you may know if, for some reason, you followed me back in 2013 (and till...okay fine 2015), I used to be, uh. Really into SPN. Really, I was into Destiel. Like, as in, I slogged through seasons 1-3 to get to Cas and am also really vulnerable to the Sunk Cost Fallacy and projecting onto characters. (I was in 8th grade in 2013, okay? Get off my back)

Also, because I monopolised use of the TV, I kind of...also got my parents into it? In a “this is silly but fun” kind of way.

Over time, critiques of the show from viewers, learning what queerbaiting is at all, fatigue with how long it was going, and also fatigue from how characters I enjoyed, like Rufus, or Crowley, or Ellen, or Jo, or Kevin, or Charlie, or Cas a few times, kept getting killed off. As time went on, it didn’t escape my notice that, aside from Cas, all of these characters fit one or more of the following criteria:

They were a woman

They were a person of color

Were Queer or Queer-coded in some way (listen Crowley was bad rep but at least Mark Sheppard actually kissed a man on screen)

I also just...generally got tired of the way the show treats women and sidelines people of color. 

The final straw really came with Charlie’s death. It got us all excited, because she hadn’t been back in a bit! And it was interesting to see how reuniting with her dark side from Oz had changed her! (yeah remember the fucking Wizard of Oz storyline? The writers sure don’t!) And maybe she’d get developed! Because at this point, Charlie and the fairly good writing of her character was a major upside for the series! Charlie was cool, fun, gay, and morally complex in a way...none of the female characters had been before her, in large part because by definition, her relationship with the boys would always be platonic.

And then. Offscreen. She is violently murdered. For no damn good reason. Like, literally, her being brought back in this episode after fucking off to europe after having returned from fucking off to Oz seems to have filled two purposes in total. 

The codex is solved (but Sam doesn’t know till next episode)

Charlie is dead, which means Dean can be angry, specifically at Sam, and kill more people because he’s the big bad this season. 

That’s it. Two things. Twooooo whole reasons to do this episode. Whoopee. 

But you didn’t come here for this, you came here for me to rip this reveal to shreds. Don’t worry, I’ll get there. What I want in your minds is that Supernatural already had a really good anddynamic queer character. And then they killed her off to make Dean angry. No, it doesn’t matter that they brought her back in season 13 or whatever. They made that decision. 

After the rage this incited, I started realizing general flaws in the writing (I had probably already noticed them but now I was angry enough to complain.) Every conflict is born of Sam and Dean not communicating/taking on burdens and Dean being angry at Cas for reasons that ranged from good to ridiculous, but in a way that always went way too fucking long, (which...yes, does make the “you do it for love” gifs fucking hilarious). It didn’t help that seasons 11 and 12 were next, which meant Demon Dean and GOD’S FUCKING SISTER, plus the decision to resurrect Mary, which, while I do like her later scenes, as a season 12 finale it...well I’ll be honest it kinda sucked. It undercut the majority of the Winchester’s’ arcs and their slow and painful journey out of their father’s toxic vengeance quest and knowing Mary as a person when it’s too late to know her was one of the last semi-compelling grounders of the narrative. 

By this point it was a hate-watch for my parents and I.

So then, I’m at college, and I’m not watching anymore cause I don’t have the motivation or access to Hulu to continue, and SPN is bad. I watch the Scooby Doo crossover when it comes out and my friend and I make fun of it, and we also continue making jokes about Dean and Cas and queerbaiting because we’re queer, but I don’t keep up. My Dad does though, so when I return, I watch some with the fam and lads. It’s even more tiring without context. 

So flash forward to Quarantine, my sister, the only one with taste, has left, and we have run out of netflix to watch. So we return to the well, and seasons 13-14 are. I’m gonna say it. Bad. Really fucking bad. The cycle of bad communication continues, season 14 has like seven antagonists and the way it’s structured makes it so I literally cannot remember the timeline of a season I watched 3 months ago. Oh also, they have a queer coded cannibal snake monster for...well I guess Jack’s snake bud was cool but like. Huh wow it’s almost like these writers don’t handle queers well. 

Our one saving grace is Cas, but he’s barely in any episodes, though I did note that his deal with the empty, being happy completely for one moment killing him, that struck me as “this has potential and I know they’re gonna half-ass it somehow.” Also Jack and Mary, but then oh...plot….The most compelling it gets is literally the finale.

But then, 3 days later, the first half of season 15 comes out on Netflix and it’s...actually kind of acceptable. The new character they give Jack’s actor is fun to watch him play until they make him evil. Exploring just how toxic Chuck can be gave the series direction again. The alternate future was genuinely scarring, and Eileen’s return was genuinely moving. Most of all, though, Cas got the opportunity to tell Dean no, that Dean was being unfair to him, had always been unfair to him, and he was sick of it. I had no illusions, I knew Destiel was never gonna happen, and Cas was gonna die, but giving him that bit of agency, letting Cas grow and be self-sufficient, and be angry with Dean not for existential reasons but interpersonal ones, was such a good sign for me, and Dean grew too! Dean fucking apologized for being horrible and Jensen Ackles had a...yknow what, ill give it to him, he had a good acting moment. 

But the thing. About. The “I love you.” 

Let’s take it in parts.

What was good: I’m gonna admit it, lads, “Wanting what I can’t have” - AS A LINE - is good, and, structurally, there is something to the Empty Deal that could have been an interesting aspect of Cas’ arc when it comes to self actualization and being on even footing with Dean. The problem is, this is Supernatural, and that arc only comes up when I bring it up because character study, even in bad media, is fun for me. 

What was bad:

I mean. Like. All of it? All of it. 

Okay. Fine. I’ll be specific. 

Cas dies immediately when - possibly because- he is revealed as having feelings for Dean. They kill him as they queer him, that’s a Bury Your Gays Speedrun right there.

Like the least they could have done is have him mention it to someone in another scene or something to establish some romantic feelings on the part of canon a full episode beforehand. That would have been the literal bare minimum. 

When Cas starts praising Dean, for some reason both the writing and Misha’s acting take a bit of a downswing (from...where it already was). Cas, whose most powerful moment this season was acknowledging that Dean’s anger at him is cruel and unfair, flatly praises him for doing everything out of love and it reads with a misunderstanding of both Dean as a character and Cas’ understanding of Dean. Dean is angry! VERY ANGRY! And it’s a problem he needs to work on and rarely does. 

Talking out of my ass, a better speech would have been about how Dean is angry because of his love for Sam, family, and the people around him, how, for better or for worse, he can’t help but be angry on behalf of others, and that his journey of moving that tendency towards the better is what made Cas care so much. Guys this alteration to the metaphor took 2 minutes to write tops I am an Art History student and these are TV WRITERS WITH YEARS OF EXPERIENCE CAN YOU TELL THEYRE NOT TRYING YET? 

A better speech would, of course, have come out of a better series. My point: this part was half-assed. Poorly written. Wow it’s almost like the series is also poorly written. 

��Also, Misha is the better actor of the three(***OF THE THREE), but his choices in that scene are jarringly out of character which. Makes the bad writing worse. It doesn’t help that they cut to the same fucking shot of Dean 3 times. The chemistry in that scene makes it feel so fucking hackneyed. Because it is. 

This combines lead me to the point: (wait there was a point to this?)

As someone who does not have the luxury of watching this capsized ship fall into boiling seas from a distance, it is less insulting to me that they did this so last minute and then sent Cas to the Void than it is how they did it. They had ingredients for something that could have been compelling enough to me as a former fan of the show to think that they had put effort into it, that they had decided months, perhaps even years ago to do this, and had crafted a storyline around it. That this was an intentional decision they cared about. It wasn’t. It was barely even pandering, because it’s almost insultingly blatant. 

SPN kinda proved to me that it didn’t care about queers when Charlie was killed off. It proved it to me again when Cas, not only died in confessing his love for Dean but did it in the weakest result of what could have been a surprisingly strong story.

[triptocaiine]

█▓ 👋 » ARI: COMMENT.

i wrote up a whole meta post on the narrative structure of heavy rain and how it influences norman’s character, and by goodness, i am not letting it go to waste. although my original draft of this talks a bit about norman’s queer-coding, i’m more interested right now in talking about how the narrative structure of heavy rain alludes to norman’s motivations, especially in contrast to madison’s story.

so first off, to understand what's going on narratively, we have to understand that although there are four playable characters, there are only three storylines. each storyline is characterized with one stoic man who is very goals-focused and one optimistic or otherwise plucky woman who tends to be more driven by emotion. these three storylines are: ethan and madison, scott and lauren, and carter and norman.

one particular thing to note, though, is that norman's and madison's storylines are virtually identical. they both start off by investigating the case through their careers, and then become tied to the case emotionally through growing to care for someone else. they also follow very similar narrative beats and are the only two characters who can be killed off before the ending. specifically, we see some parallels:

present during the third trial and for ethan's escape or capture by the police;

a potentially deadly chapter with a serial killer who is not the origami killer, where the deadly part is skippable;

a chapter at the blue lagoon (minutes apart, by the way!!)

a chapter where the origami killer tries to kill them before the warehouse scene (for norman, that's the blue lagoon scene)

in madison's storyline, it's pretty much explicitly stated that she had originally started working on the origami killer case because of her job, and had also befriended ethan because of that, but over time, she fell in love with him and this love for him is what motivates her to continue. because it's optional for the player to romance madison at all, her thoughts don't actually reflect much of her love for ethan besides the chapter where he rejects or forgives her. her endings reflect it a little more, but it's still pretty... generic? she's far more focused on her career, and has been shown to want to risk her health and safety for a good story (like in the taxidermist dlc, or in her backstory, where she reported on a war zone and developed night terrors as a result).

norman, on the other hand, has the same thing, but it's never explicitly stated. at the start, they’re all business. but we can see that they care a little too much about everyone, even from a chapter like nathaniel, where they experience an immense amount of guilt if they shoot nathaniel. that's fairly normal, though, and makes sense for the situation, especially considering they’ve never killed anyone before. what's more notable, though, is that norman, who never meets any of the other characters (except for ethan, who they can meet up to four times depending on your playthrough), ends up risking their life for the case.

it begs the question of why they would ever do that. their job description is to provide a psychological profile for the killer, which they complete by their third chapter. the rest of the investigation is done purely out of goodwill. they risk their life for the sake of someone they've never met: namely, shaun mars.

because of the player's choice in romancing madison, her thoughts are usually goal-oriented, focusing on her surroundings or what she has to do. but since norman has no such romance route, their thoughts betray their motivations a lot. actually, the only choice you can make for norman at all besides when they die is if they take triptocaine or not, which actually has no bearing on the story at all, and after a time, they just take the tripto without you having any say in it. you don't even get a say in whether or not they risk losing their job to break a wanted criminal out of jail. they just do it. their thoughts very clearly broadcast their love and care for both shaun and ethan, where they are almost constantly worrying about them, especially about shaun.

again, they’ve never met this kid. they only have a picture.

so, where madison risks her life out of some degree of love and care, but mostly because she tends to do this anyway, norman risks their life out of pure goodwill and pure dedication to doing the right thing. they become increasingly frustrated with the police, who they decide have the wrong priorities, and ends up overworking themselves (both by risking their life and by overusing their technology) in order to save shaun. if they were a professional, they would have left after providing their psychological profile, but they don’t. moreover, they break ethan out of jail, which could cost them their job and land them in jail for years. they also specifically overuse their technology, which they know  is deadly when abused.

so now we are going to get to... the epilogues.

norman's epilogues mirror madison's, which makes sense, because they virtually have the same plotline. however, madison's has the added flavour of her romance plot.

madison's endings are:

the one where she and ethan are not together and she saved shaun at the warehouse, in which she publishes a book about the case and gets famous for it, even being interviewed for a talk show. it's shown later, though, that she still experiences persistent persecutory delusions, revealing that her sacrifices to her mental health still haunt her. (interestingly, she has the option for a good ending, which isn't even her epilogue, where she gets together with ethan and shaun lives, regardless of if she saved him or not. in that ending, her mental health is perfectly fine.)

the one where she dies, where a reporter is giving a half-assed news snapshot talking about what a hero she was, only to reveal once the cameras are off that she doesn't care at all. this is, incidentally, an ironic echo of what killed her, as madison is a journalist and died in search of a story, only to become a story herself.

the one where either shaun dies and she lives, or where she and ethan are not together and shaun is saved by someone else, in which she experiences a total breakdown and self-isolates, completely giving herself over to her delusions.

meanwhile, norman's endings are: 

the one where norman saves shaun at the warehouse, in which they get interviewed by the same talk show that madison does, and goes on to continue working at the fbi and taking on cases. however, their health starts suffering and they begin to suffer from hallucinations due to their overuse of ari and triptocaine in order to increase their efficiency. there is no romance route to save them.

the one where shaun is saved by someone else, in which norman resigns from the fbi. it's not clear what they will do after this, and this is widely considered their best ending, because they realize that they can't keep overworking themselves like this, and they are trying to detox and manage their addictions. (incidentally, madison's version of this is her worst ending, which is just kind of. an error on their part, where they forgot to account for this possibility for her.)

the one where they die, in which it's revealed that they will be buried near their workplace and that those who show up to the ceremony will be coworkers that are obligated to go, implying they have no close relationships at all. they somehow get uploaded into their ari device, which is an ironic echo of what killed them, as norman overused ari in order to save shaun, only to become part of ari themselves.

the one where shaun dies and they live, in which they attempt to take a vacation to cope with their guilt, but instead ends up holing up in their hotel room and fatally overdosing on triptocaine, completely giving themselves over to his addictions.

these parallels have my heart entirely. it’s not explicitly stated that madison and norman are fundamentally very similar people if not for that one piece about why each of them need success so badly. where madison wants success for the sake of success, norman wants it for what it implies.

but the thing i really wanted to point out with norman’s endings is that they play out in such a way where if shaun dies, they will always also die. either they will die in the process of trying to save him, or they will fatally overdose. the only other character who experiences this phenomenon is ethan, who is shaun's father.

for ethan, this reaction makes sense. but for norman, it doesn't. it doesn't make sense that norman would resign from the fbi for being unable to solve one case. it doesn't make sense that a professional would kill themselves over one murder victim, especially when they know they're dealing with a serial killer. but that's norman's entire character: that they care too much. they get too attached. ethan intentionally committs suicide in all his bad endings, but norman just takes a wrong turn in self-medicating. they intend to go back. they intend to help more people. they take on way too much because they want to be able to save everyone. they want to be able to help everyone. and they want that so badly that they would do anything, including sacrificing their health, their well-being, their job, their freedom, their life. but because of this, they can never have a good ending. either they succeed and continue to overwork themselves until they eventually die from it, or they won't be able to handle the guilt of failing to help someone and die in the process.

one of my favourite deaths for norman, which is their last possible death before the warehouse ending scene, which is where they simply use ari for too long, and there's just a shot of them still flipping through data even as they’re choking on their own blood, only for them to die at their desk from overworking.

[kryptsune]

🌼Here is my version of Horrortale THE UPDATED VERSION! I was not really happy with how I wrote it prior to this but now that I have added more world building I am so much more satisfied with the result. There is a lot more to it now than there was before world wise. A few things to mention before I start. This Horrortale is mainly a Frans or Frisk X Sans AU. It may change in the future but that is the core of it. I also want to warn people that the below content may be triggering or disturbing. This is very serial killer based so keep that in mind as you move forward.

DO NOT REPOST MY WORK WITHOUT MY PERMISSION IT IS NOT FOR YOUR USE. IF YOU LIKE MY WORK PLEASE REBLOG INSTEAD! It helps me so much! It makes such a difference.💙If you want more of these just let me know! It’s the only way I can gauge interest!

Horrortale {FXS}

Alternate “Nicknames” Info: 

Sans: Blade Papyrus: Ash ( joke reference to Ash vs the Evil Dead) 

Main Plot Synop: Sans timeline has yet to meet their “fallen human”. On the surface the monsters begin to do experimentation learning about the abilities that humans possess. These studies lead to even more advances for the humans and the monsters. They live and coexist perfectly but something goes wrong. The monsters were considered to be pure beings ones with pure white souls to match but humans were flawed. They did horrible things even to their own and eventually that began to create a new threat. One that was easily spread from monster to monster. A black infection that begin to eat away and hollow out ones soul called The Rot.

Sans works in the lab spending more and more time trying to help his associates with their research into human soul traits. Gaster begins to make headway on the research of the soul extracting vials of concentrated soul essence. That includes the essence from a fallen human that died of causes unknown. Their name is Chara. In Chara’s soul The Rot lies in wait festering in a sea of pure red. Like an apple rotted from the inside the hate and hopelessness of this trait resided in that lone soul and ate it alive. All that they had been was no more. Those working in the lab are the first to be infected especially their Royal Scientist Dr. W.D Gaster. 

Sans pursuit to rid the others of this rot causes him to become obsessive and resort to using old vials of human soul essence in his own experiments. It begins to become successful keeping away the infection but at high doses it can have some nasty side effects. He begins to cure the monsters but his own rot can only be cured by one source, Determination. The strength of the essence is so powerful that it begins to have some interesting complications. 

Kindness- Obsession

Integrity- Moral righteousness/ pride/ manipulation 

Bravery- Adrenaline high constantly sweating, rapid breathing and nausea 

Justice- OCD (ideologic pride)

Perseverance- Extreme fatigue/sickness/ depression as physical symptoms

Patience- Timid and intense fear/ anxiety

The Rot and the World it forms:

The rot if left “untreated” can cause some rather unfortunate changes within monster biology and the cure to such an infection is not foolproof (in fact I would argue it causes them to start cannibalizing each other). Those that are suffering from the rot begin to make their way through different stages of the infection. 

Stage 1: Paranoia and weakness

Stage 2: A shift in biology- Due to the cure being human soul traits the side effect is a change in monster biological structure. They begin to lose some of their magical abilities taking on the traits that are curing them. It alters their make up at the soul level. This also causes them to take on a more physical form. That means that their bodies persist after death and even bleed.   

Stage 3: Starvation/ Ravenous hunger- The infection causes a craving in the soul most likely in an effort to fill a hole of some kind. The same one that is eating away at their soul leaving a soulless husk behind. This is usually seen in the form of food but it can also be more worldly things. Money, power, all of those are fair game. They essentially become soulless.

Stage 4: Mindlessness- Almost like wild animals the monsters that make it to this stage become like wild beasts. All predators. They feast on other monsters but they usually turn their sights to monsters that have a high concentration of human soul in their bodies. That includes humans as well.  

Stage 5: “Death” (amalgamates)- The typical mindless zombie. They are slow and aggressive only thinking of eating even though they are half dead already. They do not speak, they do not think. They exist. (What a horrible way to “live”).   

Monsters begin to eat and kill each other thinning the once thriving monster world. Just like in UT they used to have an overcrowding problem but now with this new situation that is quickly changing. Asgore locks himself away trying to keep the infection at bay and away from those he cares about. It is unclear if the King is dead or not. All they know is that the entire Underground is in ruin. 

It would appear that having quantities of these traits can hold off deeper stages of the infection. That is why they begin to formulate ways to lure humans into the mountain, songs, whispers, anything that can be used. The barrier is different in this version as it only requires the power of a human soul and a monster soul to cross it. This means that some monsters have the ability to slip past the barrier to drag humans back for “dinner time”. The human cities have not forgotten about the monster threat and they keep up defenses to keep them out. A zombie apocalypse if you will. That means that some monsters (again not all they have to be strong enough) can cross the barrier and bring back food. 

The barrier was also not created originally as a punishment for monsters losing the war but rather containment. It was cruel nonetheless and eventually the humans began to distance themselves from the monsters leaving them stuck in a barrier that provided no room to grow and little food or resources. Eventually as The Rot began to infest the Underground humans quarantined it off leaving them even more hopeless than ever before. 

Humans do not “seem” to be affected by The Rot but their world has been significantly altered by the disease. It makes it difficult to live when all your meals are outside of your cities security and large open spaces are easy targets such as farms. In the end the war and caused an even larger problem, the destruction of their world. It is nothing but an apocalyptic wasteland in most parts due to attacks. Food is scarce both in the Underground as well as on the surface. Just as monsters have become hunters of their own  

The Effects of DETERMINATION: 

Sans begins to see more and more the inner works and the fabric of the world he lives in. It begins to make him think he is going crazy. It has to be due to sleepless nights, heightened stress, and hopelessness that seems to continue to fester in his own soul. In addition to being able to manipulate and see the fabric of his world he also has “visions”. Almost a form of astral projection. His consciousness is able to see through the eyes of his respective timeline counterparts. He is able to see everything they do in multiple timelines. It is a form of timeline hopping or reset. They are all on the same frequency. 

He begins to see their happiness and their pains. The good and the evil. At first he thinks they are dreams but as it happens more frequently the more he realizes the nature of it. He sees how happy they are and there is one constant variable for their happiness (the bad timelines begin to heighten his apathy). That constant is Frisk. He continues to help the other monsters and almost all of them are “cured” though the other side of The Rot has yet to rear its ugly head. He however becomes a recluse burying himself in his supposed delusions and madness. He continues to take more and more DT slowly turning his eyes red. It is like the ring of an oak tree. The longer that he uses it the more rings he gets the larger his eye becomes (giving him that classic Horror look).  At first they are like the rings of a tree effectively replacing his rot with a new DT addiction. It also begins to cause his face to slowly melt.    

Meanwhile the other main boss monsters that have been treated have a similar affliction where the soul traits they were taken have embedded into their souls. It begins to give them a new power. A power rivaling that of a human soul. The power of the 7. The variable that can be used to slip past the barrier. Sans though is becoming slowly obsessed with this Frisk. He sees her not as a variable anymore but rather someone that will make him happy. 

Sans madness continues to increase even his associate Dr. Alphys is trying to get him some semblance of help but by this time he is too far gone. He needs an intervention. An explosion happens in the lab. The vials and his research are now gone. All of it has gone up in flames and unfortunately the damage to his soul has already been done. He ends up in solitary confinement sinking further into his obsession. 

News reaches him that a human has fallen down from the opposite entrance of the Underground. He goes to meet them only to realize that they look nothing like the human he is obsessed with. He begins to harvest human soul essence hiding his face behind a mask at first since nearly the whole front portion of his face is gone. It is a mask of his own face which makes his gaze even creepier knowing what, or rather what does not lay beyond it.  Eventually he learns to easily control his face with his magic rearranging the dust to shift his appearance. His level of insanity shifts to obsessive confusion. He is unhappy his first human encounter is not his precious Frisk but the human does have her eyes from his perspective. His concept of what Frisk actually looks like keeps changing. 

His form and control is directly tied to his emotional states. If he experiences any form of heightened emotion be it sadness or rage his composure will falter as will his appearance. If it becomes too drastic he will slowly begin to melt causing the appearance he originally had when this all began to appear. This is why he is called “The man with many faces.” He will sometimes end up completely faceless save for the bottom half where his grin would be.

Blades Madness:

Sans (aka Blade) obsession causes him to steal the various parts of humans to create his perfect human. Each one he makes he sees as an improvement. They are all mindless dolls held together with low doses of soul essence and magic. A macabre shrine to his beloved human. They reside in his shed and sometimes he talks to them but he considers them as failures. He calls them his projects and this continues over and over until his Frisk falls. 

He is overjoyed that he has his precious with him now. Papyrus checks on his brother yet he knows he needs help. After all these years he has seen his brothers decline Ash tries to help him. Frisk’s entry into the Underground is by complete accident, though she is not the savior that the rest are known to be. She is a soul of kindness causing her eyes to be a bright jade. Even Sans though overjoyed that Frisk has “returned” to him; he feels as though she is not perfect yet. He takes her and makes her perfect by removing one of her eyes to be a beautiful blue. He even cuts the back section of her hair to satisfy him. 

She feels no pain when this happens. Her kind soul wants to help him and slowly she begins to pull the old Sans back every once and awhile. Her soul, just like Charas, is filled with something as well. It turns out that though it looks like Frisk’s soul is one of kindness it is actually a pure white soul of hope. This has the ability to cure The Rot. They are glimpses but it is progress. He has to stop his killing ways and he does after Frisk is with him.

She feels no pain when this happens. Her kind soul wants to help him and slowly she begins to pull the old Sans back every once and awhile. They are glimpses but it is progress. He has to stop his killing ways and he does after Frisk is with him.   

[nutmegpirate]

Tao Kallan

[GENERAL] Age: 343; looks/feels 22 Gender: Female Species: Tiger Therian Height & Weight: 5'6 (167.6cm); 130lbs (59kg) Birthday: May 15th Occupation: Waiter (former mercenary) Relationship Status: Single Orientation: fitesexual currently undecided Faction: Rosario

[IDENTITY] Personality: + Confident + Fearless + Enthusiastic = Competitive - Hot-headed - Stubborn - Reckless

As a born fighter, Tao loves the thrill of a good brawl, whether it be an impulsive scrap in the street or a coordinated, weapons-out battle. Despite her explosive personality, she keeps her head clear in heated situations - especially those she creates herself. While not at all shy or introverted, she is a natural loner due to her hard-headed stubborness. She works best alone and even better against others, preferring casual rivalries to actual friendships. Fortunate is the soul whom she calls friend. She uses her love of fun and competition to bury uncomfortable feelings such as grief, loneliness, and especially romantic ones, which confuse her the most. These feelings do not exist, okay??!! Despite her ability to hold rational thought under stress, she often overextends herself when the blood runs hot, throwing herself into situations much too large for her to deal with or addressing people with too much enthusiasm or anger and driving them away. She views frightening things merely as new challenges to take on, which she does with glee. Backstory:

When Tao was young, she ran away from home.

Not for long, of course. She was still a child, barely tall enough to turn the door handle on her own. She slipped away when her tutor's back was turned, leaving her history lesson on the table, and was almost a mile into the woods around the estate by the time her family caught her and took her home. It was her first escape, and it wouldn't be her last.

Tao's family were artists, all of them in different disciplines. Her mother was a writer, a literary architect, crafting great literature and collections of poetry. Her father sang, and had once graced the stages of concert halls before settling down at the estate to raise his family. The eldest brother learned music from him and filled pages with compositions both vocal and instrumental. And the second brother became a master of paint and canvas, drawing forth worlds of color and light with his brush.

And not a single one of them knew how to have fun! So Tao ran away from home. She got better at it, the more she practiced. The longer she stayed away, the fewer fistfights she got in with visiting families' children, and the fewer scoldings she received for dancing too wildly at the stately dinners and galas held at the estate. She learned new lessons, not from a tutor, but from nature. She learned to stand in the stream until the fish nibbled her ankles and to snatch one out of the water with her claws. She learned how to snap sparks using magic into a dry pile of leaves for a cook fire. She learned how the animals moved in hidden trails through the underbrush, and how they rested, camouflaged, in sun-speckled shadows. She learned how the winds brought the weather and how to dig out an embankment for shelter in a storm. At first, she could stay away for hours. When she reached her teens, she was gone for days.

Then she never came back at all.

Her shirking of lessons came back to bite her. With little knowledge of the lay of the land, Tao went a little too far from home. The wilderness called her, and within a few weeks, she had lost the way back entirely. She felt a change in the land while wandering the vast plains and rolling hills - a drought, it felt like. Foliage withered, prey grew scarce, and the little brooks she drank from became muddy and shallow. The sparks she made with her fingertips came less and less easily.

Just a few miles away in the ruins of an old outpost, secluded from civilization, lived a sorcerer who feared death. Despite his elvish longevity, a terrible sickness had taken hold of Aegis, and so he shut himself away to find the secret to immortality using dark and forbidden methods. Each day he grew weaker, and so used the life force of other living things to sustain his spells and experiments with no regard for the waste of life he perpetrated. In the cold undercroft of his outpost he devised a spell - successful in theory, but risky. He'd need a test subject first before applying it to himself. Out here, though, where could he find one in time?

Tao stumbled across the outpost, footsore and fatigued after days without food or rest, desperate for a safe place to bed down. She entered the ruin without her usual wariness and selected a level section of the earth floor to make camp.

"You'll do."

As Tao turned, a cold numbness gripped her limbs, spreading quickly through her body. Her eyes remained fixed, frozen, on the elf before her. He looked crestfallen. "Can you move at all?" he asked her. Tao longed to tell him what she would do to him if she could move, but of course, being completely encased in frost, she could not move, and therefore not speak. Nor could she blink, or look away, or even breath. Rage consumed her, but it did no good, and her life for the next immeasurable span of years became one monotonous day after another, with the sorcerer pacing before her, in and out of her field of vision, studying her and the effect of his spell.

He had accomplished at least part of his goal, it seemed, as his captive did not age or wither over the years. But being unable to move or free oneself made the spell a failure, useless to him. Existing, frozen, for eternity? That was not living. He began anew, though death drew ever nearer, determined to preserve himself even if it meant the end of more lives, and Tao could only watch him with ever-burning hatred.

Then the day came when Aegis left the outpost and never returned, and Tao's endless fury, without a person to focus on, gave way to fog. In the fog, she found, she didn’t notice the time passing so much. And so she slept. Nothing is infinite, however. Without the sorcerer to sustain it, the spell, regardless of how strong the magic, began to degrade. The fog in Tao's mind cleared a little when she felt the change. The process was slow, agonizingly slow, a true test of her mental fortitude as she waited for the right moment. Years further must have passed by the time she felt the icy bonds become brittle. With a roar pulled from the darkest reaches of her tiger soul, Tao moved, and the ice shattered. She collapsed on legs that couldn’t remember how to stand and struggled to draw breath after forgetting how for over three hundred years, years she had no idea had passed.

When she recovered, she wasted no time heading home, but found she could not quite remember the way. What should have been a few days' journey stretched to nearly a month. When she at last found the estate, it was not the home she remembered; it had been converted to apartments and flats for rent, and the people there were little help with their strange, garbled speech. They directed Tao through the woods, and there she found a city that had not existed before.

Thus began her time in Almaria.

First, she studied. Through a great deal of questioning and delves into the library's special collections and archives, she found that more than three hundred years had elapsed since her imprisonment by Aegis, and in that time, the Kallan line had died out with her youngest brother's family. The estate and all its contents had been auctioned off or donated -  much of the art ending up in the archive itself - leaving Tao with nothing.

Except her drive for vengeance.

Burying all the complex feelings that came with finding out one's family has been dead for 300 years, Tao began her hunt. She tried her best to exist peacefully in the modern world, all the while honing her fire magic and gathering whispers. Three hundred years should have barely touched an elf; Aegis had to be out there. The archives bore no record of him, nor did any of the graveyard headstones. She gathered allies, friends and rivals, and walked dangerous roads with them, getting into trouble here and there. At last, a lead, but a false one. The return to the outpost gave her nothing but more secrets and ash. Though the world is altered now, and Arcadia's history different from what Tao remembers, she knows Aegis is still around, somewhere, well hidden. She won't let the paradox in her memory deter her. She will find him, and inflict all the pain on him that he ever did on her.

Abilities: - Tiger Senses: Sense of smell and hearing are stronger than your average human's, and she has night vision. - Firestarter: This covers creation of sparks with a snap, or heating small objects in her hands. - Flame Resist: She is somewhat resistant to her practiced element of choice, but not immune. - Burning Hands: Allows her to light her hands on fire and extinguish them at will, as well as maintain and control the flame's intensity. (unlocked through RP) - Blaze Command: Tao can manipulate the movement fire to a small extent, even blazes she did not create, though they do not listen as well as her own flames. (unlocked through RP) Strengths & Weaknesses: + Fighter: she’s got moves and muscle and can take quite a few hits + Survivor: she knows how to last in the wilderness a loooooong time + Rhythm: despite her lifelong rejection of her family's practice of the arts, Tao has an excellent sense of rhythm and beat and can tap a drum quite well - and dance along to it even better. - Hard-headed: good luck getting her to function on a team or to follow orders she disagrees with. - Loud: when around other people she can get pretty… shouty. Usually not tactful things, either. - Short fuse: not always in an angry way, but she’ll challenge anything with a “fight me,” and not sarcastically. - Ignorant: there's a lot she just doesn't know yet, from slang to locations to magic to technology.

Likes & Dislikes: + fighting or competing (and winning at both) + exploring the outdoors + swimming + free food + dragons - confined spaces/being trapped - bossy/stuffy people- formal events - being touched in a friendly way (wrestle? yes. hug? no.) - Aegis

[EXTRA] - She's flown twice on dragonback, fulfilling a lifelong dream of flying, and longs to go again someday. - Her hair used to be long, worn in a ponytail. She cut it short not long after breaking free. - She has pads on her hands and feet, and fur on her ears, tail, lower legs, and feet. - Enhanced vocal chords allow her to make these kinds of sounds. - Her speech is still pretty old-fashioned, but she's making a conscious effort to adopt modern speaking patterns.

Relationships: - Whole immediate family has passed away. - Akane: Best friend and slam-dunk pool buddy, troublemaker-in-arms, etc etc; current employer. - Aithne: Fire rival; secretly friends but Tao will never admit it. - Yao: Detested enemy for minorly poisoning her when they first met. - Delta: An ally, though kind of a fragile one. - Nisha: Boss with the money. But not anymore! Because she has a new job now. :D - Yelena: Sharp! And fighty, like herself. They get along pretty well, though Tao is not totally sold on the person-shaped-sword thing - it mystifies her. - Takuto: Another fighting ally. Though they met on shaky terms, she'd have his back in a scrap. [RP PREFERENCE] Media: [Discord] |  [Google Docs] Methods: Paragraph | Literature | Script | Headcanon Timezone: MST

[sgtduckybucky]

The Unknown

Genre: Hurt/Comfort + Angst (?)

Warnings: SPOILERS

Word Count: 3212

A/N: The ending was rushed and makes no sense but so did the ending for endgame so. Also not proofread so be warned.

Y/F/N = Your Full Name

Y/N/N = Your Nickname 

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

“Y/N, there’s hope.” There was a sense of urgency in Tony’s voice.

Almost all of the Avengers were gathered in your living room at your small house near the woods: Steve, Natasha, Clint, Rocket, Nebula and Scott.

You shook your head, interrupting whatever it was Tony was saying, “Don’t.”

Clint and Natasha shared a look while Tony watched as you got up from your couch and walked towards the dining table that had around twenty pots of various plants.

Steve patted Tony’s shoulder before walking closer to you, “Y/N,” he called your name softly, “I know that this is too much but we have to try.”

You snorted at the Captain, unbothered by the fact that he was older than you by at least 70 years, “Try? You think I haven’t been trying?” Steve could only look at you with sympathy.

“What do you think I’ve been doing the past five years?” You took turn into watching their expressions, “I’ve been trying to get them back.” You laughed humorously, “And I’ve failed. Multiple times.”

“How?” Scott asked as he observed the plants surrounding you.

You sighed, “I’ve gathered my father’s and everyone else’s particles to see if I could trace. If I could revive them maybe. Sounds insane, I know.”

“Not really.” Scott gave you a constipated look, “We’re trying to build a time machine.”

That seemed to catch your interest.

“So, we’re basically following the plot of Back to the future.” Scott and the rest of the time spent around an hour trying to explain their plan. To go back in time, collect the stones and undo Thano’s snap. It’s a big risk but it might work.

“Essentially.” Agreed Scott with a sheepish smile. Tony could only roll his eyes.

“I don’t know.” You sighed dejectedly. You’ve been trying so hard to find ways to bring everyone back. To bring back your father and…but it was impossible. This plan was crazy-

“Can’t be worse than trying to riving the dead through plants.” Snorted Clint, looking older than he actually was but he had a point.

“I’m in.”

“So you control plants?” Scott asked during the plane ride towards the city.

“I do.” You answered.

“But you’re allergic to every plant known to mankind?”

“That’s sweet irony for you, my friend.”

As Scott tried to process your abilities, you were reminded of a similar encounter you’ve had about seven years ago.

“I’m Peter Parker.” His bright smile added to his boyish charm as he extended his hand and introduced himself.

Your glasses slid through your nose as you were unable but to return his smile, “Y/F/N.” and accepted his handshake.

“Ms. F/N is studying bioengineering. She also happens to control plants even though she’s allergic to them.” Mr. Stark explained with a slight tone of amusement in his voice.

You rolled your eyes playfully but felt yourself blush at the look Peter was giving you, “That sounds so cool but also scary.”

You chuckled at his cuteness, “That’s irony for you my friend.”

“Alright, kids. Enough flirting. Time to work.” Tony tried so hard to mask his smirk at the massive blush covering your cheeks and Peter’s neck.

Working with Peter in Tony’s lab was wonderful. A friendship was born between the both of you as the protégés of Stark Industries. Mr. Stark unfortunately doesn’t let you on missions much but after the whole incident with Peter at his school, he decided to give it a shot.

“A monthly trial!” was what Tony had called it.

Every evening and night after Peter finished school, you would train combat skills for three hours with each other before he has to leave. It was fun trying with Peter. He was so full of positivity and energy that you couldn’t help but to try and keep up with him and be his equal.

“Mr. Stark tells me you don’t go to school.” Peter brought up one night after training and practically begging Mr. Stark and your father to let you go with him to some rundown Chinese restaurant.

“I can’t. Almost everything could kill me.” You explained. You looked down at your glove covered hands.

“Then how are you out here…with me?” he added hesitantly.

You smiled at him, “I have to take these shots every time I leave the house to protect me from the pollen but they only last two hours. The reason my dad started working for Stark was to find a way for me to overcome my energies. We haven’t found a cure yet but we’re trying to change the formula of the shots so that it could at least last me 24 hours.”

Peter nodded his head in sympathy, “Must be rough.” His hand shyly rested upon yours, making you blush and avert your gaze.

“Not anymore.”

“Y/N.” Mr. Stark spoke up as everyone dressed in their suits, “If this doesn’t work.”

“I know.” You smiled reassuringly at her, “I’ll let Mrs. Stark now.”

“You, rascal.” Tony chuckled at your cheekiness.

“Now remember, Y/N. Your job is to make sure that the universe hasn’t altered. Keep an eye out for any changes.” Mr. Rogers instructed.

You tried not to roll your eyes. You weren’t that fifteen-year-old anymore. You were twenty years old and a functioning adult, “I will.” You said instead.

He saluted at you before vanishing with the rest of the Avengers.

The past five years have been agonizing for you. With your dad and Peter gone thanks to Thanos’ snap, you felt hopeless. You fell into a spiral of depression and guilt after successfully blaming yourself.

If only I wasn’t so useless. If only if I could use my powers without killing myself. I wish…

For a year you repeated the same cycle of depression, wishing and hoping that you had the opportunity to protect everyone you loved.

It was when you were looking at the many pictures of you, Peter and your father when you decided that enough was enough.

In a random burst of adrenaline, you snatched your hoodie and put on some pants and walked to the front door.

You spent hours trying to improve your abilities. Controlling the trees so that you can use their branches as weapons, use the ground to erupt and sprout vines in any area. But your allergies always stood in the way and one time, you almost died trying perfect your skills. Had it not been for the emergency shot you had in your pocket, you surely would’ve died.

So instead, you spent the next two years working on your father’s experiment. Enhancing the shot so that it could last for 24 hours and allowing you direct intact with the planets so that you could use your powers.

Finally, after years of studies and failed experiment, you were able to enhance the shot. You have to inject the bright green liquid at the back of your neck, right were your spine held your skull, for it to work properly. It was painful but it was the only way.

After that, training was easy. The next two years flew by and you were able to improve both your combat skills and your super powers. It felt good to be this powerful. To feel a sense of usefulness. It gave you hope. Which was why you tried for a cure, a way to bring everyone back. To bring Peter and your dad back into your life.

A loud pop brought you out of your thoughts.

The Avengers were exactly where they were before left just an hour ago. “Did it work?” you ask as everyone removed their helmets.

“I think it did.” Bruce replied absent minded as he watched everyone open their hands to reveal the shiny stones.

“Where’s, Nat?” the green giant asked.

Clint looked away and you knew exactly what it meant.

“Clint?” Bruce called out again, “Where’s Nat?”

Hawkeye could only shake his head.

There was tension in the room. Bruce was on edge and Clint was full of regret but there was no time to fully mourn. You had to carry out the plan.

Once Mr. Stark fully shield the room, he gave the signal to Bruce to put on the glove, “It’s all you.” He said but you knew he meant ‘Be careful.’

Bruce nodded his head and slid the glove on. His face contorted in pain as he let out painful screams while his gloved hand lit up.

“Take it off, take it off!” Shouted Thor somewhere around the room. Your eyes were glued to the glowing gloves, praying with all your heart for it to work. Bruce finally snapped his fingers before quickly shoving the glove off of him and falling to his knees. You pushed the gauntlet away while everyone checked to make sure was alive.

The shields lifted up just as Bruce let out a groan, indicating that he was alive.

“Did it work?” Tony asked, failing to mask the slight hysterics in his voice.

In your peripheral vision, you watched Scott leaving the room.

A sudden buzzing noise made you jumped. No one reacted to it except for Clint as he walked towards the desk, shoulders tensed.

“Honey?” he breathed out once he answered the call.

You could faintly hear his wife’s voice on the other end and your shoulders slugged in relief. You were about to announce your success when you noticed something.

“Where’s Nebul-”

A loud explosion occurred and the whole building collapsed.

When you regained continuousness, the entire building had come down and you were buried under it. You forcefully pushed some of the rubble with a painful shout. You then placed your hand on the ground and commanded for it raise up and bring you upwards.

The sight that greeted you was frightening.

It was like the end of the world had just happened. The sky was black. Most of the trees were dead. And a large spaceship was in the middle of it all.

“What’s he doing?” You heard Steve ask Thor.

“Nothing. He’s been doing nothing.”

You assumed the figure sitting in the middle was Thanos. Fit the description; huge, purple and ugly looking.

“You know this is a trap.” It wasn’t to be a question. It was an obvious statement.

“Yup.” Replied Tony nonetheless.

“I don’t care.” Steve held his shield closer.

“Me neither.” You added, feeling the ground rumbling by your power beneath you.

The battle was intense but you couldn’t give up. You were all so close. If Clint’s wife was back, then surely everyone else was too. But, there was no sign of them and there was an army of aliens. There’s no way you could all defeat them so easily.

Suddenly, a whooshing sound came of you and you recognized the flying object as Falcon. Multiple portals began opening up and you watched as the Black Panther walk through, followed by a large army from Wakanda as they let out a loud battle cry.

And almost instantly, you heard the telltale sound of webs slinging. You whipped your head around and watched as Spider-Man zoom by you and land just a couple of feet in front of you, right where the Black Panther was standing.

“Peter.” You breathed, eyes stinging with unshed tears as your lips stretched into a smile of relief. Peter was here. He was alive.

There was no time for you to rejoice, though. There’s a war to be fought and lives to be protected.

“Avengers!” Steve shouted, “Assemble.”

The fight was long and exhausting.

It was difficult to fight an army of aliens with little plant life but you managed as best of you could. Several times you watched as Peter swung by and kill the aliens that came close to you. You couldn’t talk but that’s ok. Knowing that he has your back was more than enough.

“Peter!” You screamed after falling painfully down to the ground where Mjolnir landed. You wanted to run towards him to see if he was ok but you were surrounded by a large number of aliens. You fought as best as you could, summoning the grounds to swallow them up and using some of the roots underground to fling them away from you. Once you’ve defeated them all, you managed to run towards Peter.

A sudden glowing figure was descending where Peter lay on the ground so you ran with all of your might.

“Nice to meet you, Peter Parker.” You heard a woman’s voice say, “You have something for me?”

“Peter!” the two figures standing just a few feet in front of you turned to your direction.

“Y/N?” And Peter was engulfed in a hug, your arms tightening around him, “I thought I lost you.” You whispered.

“You didn’t.”

The sound of someone clearing their throat made you pull back, “The glove?” the woman with short hair reminded Peter. He quickly handed to her, “How are you going fight him alone.”

“She won’t.” You spoke, your arm still around Peter’s waist. Suddenly, you were surrounded by Wakandans, a female looking alien, the scarlet witch and Pepper.

“We got her back.” One of the women from Wakanda added, making the short haired woman smile in gratitude.

You hugged Peter one more time before following the women.

It was finally over. The war was won but a great price. You fell to your knees as you watched Tony Stark, a man who has helped both you and your father and became very important in your life, struggle to catch his last breathes.

“Mr. Stark?” You chocked out, “Please.”

“We won Mr. Stark. Please. Mr. Stark,” Peter was in disbelief as he tried and failed to have Tony’s attention. He would’ve clung to him till the very end had it not been for Pepper to pull him off and push him into your arms where you held him tightly as he cried. Body jerking with each sob.

The aftermath of the war took its toll on everyone.

Many rejoiced with their loved ones and you got to witness the world reviving, it was magical almost. But that did nothing to your aching heart as you stood with everyone at Tony Stark’s funeral. Everyone who had known the man was there, mourning the loss of one of the greatest heroes the world has witnessed.

“It’s going to be ok.” Your father whispered as he pecked your temple, his arm wrapped around your shoulder.

You didn’t say anything. It was too difficult to speak without crying.

“So you grew up.” A small smile formed on your lips at the familiar voice coming from behind you. You were currently standing in the patio of Tony’s house while everyone went inside to eat and drink. Not feeling in the mood for anything, you excused yourself for fresh air and watch the leaves move through the wind. It was soothing.

“I have.”

Peter’s smaller and shorter frame stood next to you, watching whatever it was that you were watching, “Where does that leave us?”

Where indeed.

There was no denying that there was some attraction during the years spent working with Tony. The sneaky glances, the shy smiles and the hesitant were a secret to no one except for you. If things with Thanos hadn’t happened, Peter would’ve been the same age as you. Things would be normal where you could grow old together and maybe, just maybe, be more than friends.

“I don’t know.”

Peter nodded his head.

“Call you in five years?” he asked hopefully, making you snort at his words.

“I don’t know; you’d be too young for me. Need myself an older man.” You playfully teased as Peter joined in with your laughter.

“I wish…”

“Don’t” You turned to face Peter, nose red and tears brimming your eyes, “What’s done is done and we can’t undo it.”

“But I love you.” Peter pleaded.

“I know.” You smiled through your tears, “I love you too.”

Being back in school was strange for Peter. He got to reunite with Ned and Michelle retell the tale of the adventures he’d been through but what’s the point when the only person who came so close to being a father figure in his life has died? What’s the point returning to normalcy?

“Alright, class. Settle down.” Mr. Grey the English teacher spoke over the loud chatter.

“With all that we’ve been through, let’s start our lives fresh and not waste this second chance we’ve been given. I hope that you’ll do many great things.” He smiled at his students, “Now, I’d like to introduce you to our new student. It’s her first time being in a school so go easy on her.”

Excited chatter filled the room as they waited for the new student to enter the classroom but Peter blocked them all out as he rested his head on the desk and stared out the window, dreaming of an alternative ending.

“Hi. I’m Y/F/N but you can call me Y/N/N.”

Peter’s head snapped upwards and his eyes grow wide once they landed on you. You looked…younger. How is that even possible?

You smiled at Peter as Mr. Grey scanned the room for you, “Peter Parker?” he called out. Ned had to smack Peter for him to raise his hand, “You’ll be neighbors with Y/N. Play nice.”

“What are you doing here?” Peter asked once everyone was out the classroom after Mr. Grey ended his lesson.

“Attending school like every other teenager?”

Peter tried not to groan in frustration, “No, I mean. How are you…You’re young. You’re 15 again. How?”

Seeing Peter freaking out was nothing new but you did take pity on him.

“Captain America went back in time and never came back as planned. He grew old and lived his life. It gave me an idea so I asked Mr. Banner if I could do the same.” You calmly explained as you walked through the hallways.

“But,” Peter stuttered, “How did you become young?”

“Apparently, during Ant-Man’s experiment with time travel, he was able age up and de-age. I asked him to do the same for me and it took me a couple of times but I finally de-aged 5 years of my life and time traveled to the weekend after Mr. Stark’s funeral.”

You still had the mind of a 20-year-old but it wasn’t mature, you didn’t get to experience life and grow properly. Your mind had one goal and it was to bring everyone back. The emotional and mental development weren’t part of it.

“I’m so lost.” Peter stated quietly, “So you back to the future-ed yourself basically? Is that what you’re saying?”

You laughed loudly, “More or less.”

“Wow.”

“Hey,” You bumped his shoulder, “There are aliens and people living in space that don’t age at all. I’m just part of the family.”

Peter chuckled, “I almost miss the simple times before I became Spider-Man where things were normal.”

Time travel was a dangerous thing; Peter knows that for sure. He had been tempted to build a time machine, just to see if it could be possible, but the huge responsibility prevented him from that. But, he was glad that it was possible because, now, one more very important was back in his life at the right time and the right place.

[peters-starks]

CONTROL 

Part 4 

Peter Parker x Enhanced!Reader 

Summary: Based on the song Control by Halsey. You have had your abilities enhanced by a new wing of HYDRA, using your abilities as a new secret weapon. However when the avengers discover you on one of their missions your life completely alters. 

Masterlist (previous parts on Masterlist)

Your head was throbbing as you rolled over and groaned into your pillow. The events of earlier replayed in the front of your mind and you frowned, not daring yet to open your eyes yet as you cringed at yourself for how you reacted. It was going fine up until it had a temper tantrum about a needle. Well it was deeper than the needle but you were too busy wallowing to think about it.

A small cough caught your attention as you peeked open one of your eyes and moved your face out of the comfort of being buried within your pillow. Tony Stark was stood by your door way in his usual smart get up of a suit, you had no idea why he always dressed so formal but you thought it was probably part of his power trip from being Iron Man.

“Good morning bumpy, sleep well?” The sarcasm was dripping in his voice as he crossed his arms giving you a pointed look. “If this keeps happening I’m going to run out of tranquillisers” you scoffed at his comment and reached up to touch the place in your neck where you felt the dart but no mark or sign of it remained.

Tony approached your bed and sat himself down on the end of it once you had quickly moved your feet towards your chest, now sitting up and placing your chin over your knees. Tony shuffled slightly and turned his body towards you, his posture softening in a way that reminded you of a father comforting their child after a nightmare. It made your heart yearn for days when your father would comfort you.

“You know, you can trust us here right? We aren’t going to pump you full of god knows what we just want to understand what’s going on here” Tony moved his hand up and down to refer to your whole body.

Your face remained unchanging as you blankly stared at him not quite sure what he was gaining out of this experience.

“If you don’t tell me what’s the issue and just keep looking at me like I’m a statue then we aren’t going to get anywhere kid, I can’t help you and you can’t help well... yourself” this made your eyebrows furrow at Tony’s words, they held a certain kindness in them as well as a fatherly scolding and it almost made you want to smile. Maybe Tony Stark wasn’t on as much as a power trip as you thought.

“Okay” you nodded and bit your lip “I don’t want you to take my blood and do tests or whatever - not yet anyway - it freaks me out I need to trust you first” Tony seemed surprised at your sudden co operation and gave you a small smile.

“And how do we gain your trust then?”

“I hate this room” Tony put his hand over his heart in fake shock at your words which made you roll your eyes but a small smile played at your mouth. “I don’t want to be in it anymore it - it brings back too many bad memories” the more you spoke around Tony the more comfortable you found yourself.

“Hmm, on one hand the human earthquake no longer freaks out and destroys my very expensive lab however that same teenager will be walking the halls of my home and able to probably find me in my sleep - or there lack of” Tony pretended to weigh up the options but he already knew that if he had enough protocols and applied a precaution programme to FRIDAY there was no need for the holding cell. The kid seemed to just be going through a rough time.

“Fine” Tony spoke and had to hold back his own smile as you grinned at him, finally looking more your age as delight shone in your eyes. Tony realised how much older you normally looked with the dead and glassy look you usually held. “But just for safety, a couple of rules AND you can only go where I tell you, secret rooms and labs are off limit” you nodded eagerly as Tony spoke desperate to maybe after all these years have a proper bathroom and bedroom, sit on a coach and maybe watch TV, finally feel an ounce of normal.

“Let’s go for a tour then, brush your teeth”.

As Tony walked you around the avengers facility you couldn’t keep your mouth closed, it remained open in shock at just how huge and high tech it was, the worlds technology had seemed to move on in leaps and bounds since you’d been hidden away.

Turning the corner to the kitchen a young boy with curly brown hair and a strong  jawline walked out holding a pack of gummy worms. You studied him for a moment and realised he looked around your age, probably still in school, and he looked tired like he hadn’t slept in a while. He had an aura around him you found familiar and comforting and so you had a soft smile on your face as you studied him which Tony noticed and smirked at.

Peter felt something watching him with his “Peter tingle” as May called it and so he glanced out the corner of his eye and saw Tony with a smaller figure stood next to him. Peter turned his head to get a better look and then saw you stood behind him seemingly more relaxed than he had yet seen you with a soft smile on your face making Peter smile back at you. That was until he realised he was out of his suit.

You saw the young boys eyes widen in shock as he stumbled back, dropping his gummy worms literally everywhere, and he dove back into the kitchen with a small mutter of curses making you and Tony stifle a laugh.

“Peter, come out here and meet y/n” Tony’s amusement was still rich in his voice as he patted your shoulder and bought you to the kitchen doorway where Peter stood wide eyed with pink dusted cheeks and a sheepish smile. “This is the girl that’s been causing all the noise recently” there was something different about Tony’s voice as he spoke almost an amusement you couldn’t place as he introduced you to the attractive teenager.

“Uh hi I’m Peter” that voice. You’d heard that before as it whispered to you to calm you down. It clicked into place almost immediately as you may have missed years of school but you were no idiot and training to be a HYDRA spy had taught you to match up clues. Peter was the same height and build as Spider-Man as well as looking 18, the age he told you he was the day before, and also sounded exactly like him. You were surprised not many people knew his secret identity from how easily you just figured it out.

“Spider-Man?” You smirked as the two men gaped at you with wide eyes, Peter’s mouth opening and closing in shock.

“W-what? Me? Spider-Man? No no I’m just a Uh intern” Peter’s face was beet red as he looked between you and Tony for help which he wasn’t receiving.

“I mean it’s kind of obvious bug boy” Peter continued to gape at you but his heart raced increased at your nickname for him.

“I prefer bug man actually” Peter mumbled still trying to process how you had figured it out within a second of Peter speaking.

“Well bug boy can you show bumpy here to her room, it’s the one below yours with the protocol” and at that Tony basically waltzed away from you both.

“Don’t worry I won’t well I can’t tell anyone about y’know who you are” you looked at your hands as you spoke, slightly nervous to be left alone with Peter especially now you knew how attractive he was under that mask.

“Um it’s okay, I’m not exactly great at hiding it, my friend MJ worked it out as well so yeah” Peter tried not to make you feel bad as he knew that the more comfortable you were the less chance there was of another incident happening. Peter also secretly wanted you to feel comfortable around him in general because he was interested in you.. in a scientific way only totally just superhero intrigue.

As Peter walked you to your new room he told you more about himself, he seemed to understand that you didn’t want to talk much yet and he happily filled the gap allowing you to learn more about him. He spoke about his Aunt, who he adored, and her not so great cooking, he also spoke about his friends from school and how there’s this one guy called Flash who kind of annoys him and calls him names to which you offered to beat him up. Peter couldn’t tell if you were being serious with that one but he’s pretty sure you were and made a mental note to never let you near Flash.

By the time you were at your room and Peter had finished watching you gush over how beautiful it was with its large bed on a platform and marble bathroom, which Peter found adorable, you were exhausted, but you were enjoying the company of Peter too much to hide yourself in your room just yet.

“Um-could you stay with me for a while just to y’know help me settle in” you looked at your hands at you spoke that we’re intertwined in front of you, a habit Peter had picked up you did when nervous or uncomfortable.

“Yea, of course, always” Peter smiles warmly at you and sat at the edge of your excessively large bed whilst you got comfortable and leaned against the head board.

“You don’t have to sit at the end you look really awkward” You smiles at him and patted the space next to you. Peter shuffled down and mirrored your position against the head board.

“What’s it like? Roaming the streets and using your powers to help people?” Your voice was small and Peter noticed this situation made you more vulnerable as you simply sat next to him in your bed looking like a normal teenage girl, no handcuffs, no hospital gown and no blood and dirt covering your body.

“I mean I love it’s great, it’s tiring balancing it with school but if I don’t help people who will ya know?” Peter looked proud when he spoke about what he did, his eyes lit up and he sat a little straighter and you realised you had made a wrong judgement about the avengers - well at least about Peter - when you were with HYDRA, they were no where near as bad. You don’t think Peter had a bad bone in his body.

“You could do that someday, go out there and use whatever powers you have to help people, earth really needs all the help it can get recently” you laughed softly at that as you recalled the attack on New York as well as the multiple other alien threats alone that have swarmed Earth.

“Maybe” Peter’s heart grew fonder at your words, knowing you wanted to use your powers for good showed you weren’t the weapon HYDRA made you. The reality was that you did want to use your powers for good, if you were going to be stuck with them might as well make a change but you knew it could never happen. As long as HYDRA held him there was nothing you could do.

Peter noticed the sad and far away look in your eyes and wanted to know the story behind it, what they did to you there and he wanted to help but he knew tonight wasn’t the night so instead he opted to ask if you wanted to watch a film.

“Yea, I’m several years behind on pop culture though so I think you should choose the film” Peter laughed at that and asked FRIDAY to put on Star Wars The Force Awakens.

“Wait, do you have no clue what’s been going on for the past few years?” Peter had a look on his face you couldn’t quite read as you slowly shook your head.

“Only a few bits mainly alien attacks and that”

“Do you know who is president?” Peter looked like an excited puppy but also mildly worried as he asked the question.

“No? Isn’t it Obama?” Peter groaned at your answer and yelled out an I wish.

“ITS DONALD TRUMP” at this you also yelled out knowing exactly who Peter was talking about.

“I want to go back into hiding now” you joked and Peter laughed at that, throwing his head back slightly and his eyes wrinkled as he closed them, it was one of the most beautiful sights you’d ever seen.

“We have so much to discuss! Did you know One Direction broke up?” You gasped and Joked about how one of your school friends must still be heart broken over it.

The movie was long forgotten as Peter updated you on the world, showing you YouTube clips of award shows and music videos to memes and “vines” which you ended up laughing so hard at some point a lamp went flying across a room when you covered your mouth to control yourself, only making you and Peter laugh harder.

Tony had run in when FRIDAY alerted him of the smash and as he came in the door, almost out of breath, he stopped dead in his tracks at you throwing the clock onto the floor using your abilities and yelling “YEET”. Teenagers were confusing Tony had decided.

“What’s going on here?” The sound of Tony made you and Peter jump with wide eyes realising he had just witnessed you destroying his furniture for meme purposes.

“Mr Stark! Nothing! I was just keeping Y/N company and updating her on the world and stuff” Peter jumped up from the bed as he spoke and his hands moved like crazy to explain things which you noted meant he was kind of nervous.

“Right, Any more of this ‘yeeting’ and I’ll be taking the repairs out of your college fund, how about we leave Y/N to sleep?” Peter quickly nodded and said a quick goodnight to you to which you smiled and nodded in return.

“Wait, college fund?” You heard Peter yell from just outside the door as he chased Tony down the hall from your now sealed door making you laugh again.

The first night in a proper bedroom was different that what you expected. The extra space made you slightly anxious so you curled up tighter in the too fluffy duvet and the mattress felt too soft making you toss and turn. Sleep wouldn’t consume you and so your thoughts had their chance to run wild. They started thinking about Peter and how kind he was to you, someone understanding when you did or didn’t want to talk whilst also just knowing how to calm you down even when he’d barely met you. Your thoughts then drifted to his warm brown eyes that shone when he smiled and the golden flecks became more obvious after he’d just finished laughing and they were slightly glossed over from closing them too tightly and his hair that looked so soft and curled in just the right places to frame his god like bone structure. How could one boy be so.. perfect?

No. No one was perfect and you knew that first hand. You couldn’t hold any feelings for Peter because then it would cause a conflict of interests. HYDRA would take you back and either as punishment make you attack the avengers and get yourself killed or worse, if they found out you liked Peter they’d make you kill him. You couldn’t let your feelings harm yet another person. And so you drifted off hoping for a dreamless sleep.

——-

You jolted awake, a blanket of sweat covering your body as your chest heaved. Your mind raced with the events of your nightmares but every time you tried to shake away the thoughts your mind would always go to the same image. The image of him, and how emotionless his eyes looked.

Malcom often haunted your dreams making you scream out in your HYDRA cell until one of the guards would eventually get tired of your screams and wake you with a bucket of water being thrown over you. But being around Peter and acting the way you were seemed to intensify them and it made you shiver.

You stared at the ceiling for a few more hours until you saw the sun begin to rise and shine some light through the blinds on the windows, you decided two hours sleep was enough for now and got up to have a shower.

After you were clean and dry the automated voice you heard Tony call FRIDAY spoke into your room, making you jump lightly.

“Mr Stark has been alerted that you are awake and has requested you in the Kitchen. Night lock is now unactivated” you heard the door make a click noise which you assume was it being unlocked and you quickly slipped through it, ready to try and adjust to being able to wander freely.

You wondered slowly towards the avengers kitchen, mostly because you were trying to remember your way there as you were too focused on Peter when he lead you from the kitchen to your room yesterday. As you turned what you suspected was the final corner the smell of warm food you couldn’t quite place filled your nose and filled you with nostalgia. The memory of the smell of the food was so distant but your brain automatically switched into childhood glee at the thought of it and for the first time in a long time your back muscles eased up slightly.

As you timidly stepped into the kitchen, making sure your steps were light and unable to be detected, you saw a broad man with a metal arm stood over the stove and his long messy brown hair tied into a bun on top of his head. He turned slightly and your eyes widened at him, from the metal arm you guessed who he was but seeing his face with the light stubble on his jaw confirmed your suspicions. The winter solider was making pancakes.

“Good morning” his voice was gruff and filled with sleep but nonetheless held a cheerful and welcoming tone which let you relax slightly in his presence. From the years in HYDRA you had heard whispers of the legend stood in front of you wearing sweats and a gym shirt, how deadly he was and how for decades he was HYDRA’s greatest weapon. He could come out of nowhere and kill anyone and disappear like he never existed in the first place. You and Malcom used to telepathically tell each other rumours and also made up scary campfire esque stories about the Winter Solider from your cells that were next to each other, helping both of you fall asleep at night whilst also letting your imaginations run wild on something that wasn’t what awful things were going to happen to you next.

“So you’re the floor shaker Tony has adopted?” He put a pancake on a plate and pushed it towards you on the kitchen counter and pointed towards the various toppings and sauces on the island in the middle of the floor.

“I guess I am” you shrugged nonchalantly and took the plate with a small thank you, decorating the pancakes with all the sweet treats you had missed from the years of dull and flavourless food you’d been stuffed with in your cell. Bucky hummed at you again and turned the stove off so that he could fully face you.

With his full body turned towards you he could fully assess you but you could also do the same. You noticed his metal arm had changed and no longer bore the HYDRA star from the photo attached to his photo and also the relaxed nature of his posture. If you didn’t know you doubt you would’ve believed this same man was a HYDRA rat because of just how at peace his eyes seemed. No longer cold and distant but they held a glint of happiness.

“Where’s Mr Stark? The computer said he wanted me here?” You said in between inhaling the pancakes like they were your last meal on earth. Bucky had raised his eyebrows in amusement at how quickly you ate them, not even sure you were swallowing.

“He’ll be here soon, him and Peter are just working on something in the labs” Your heart rate quickened at the mention of Peters name and you thanked all the Gods you could think of that the solider didn’t have super hearing.

“Oh okay” you tried to play it cool and decided against licking the plate clean even though you were very tempted to just to get one last taste of the sweet pancake goodness. “Thanks for the food um...”

“Bucky” he stuck his hand out for you to shake and you cautiously took it but quickly snatched your hand back and placed the plate in the sink and sat back on the barstool at the island to wait for Tony.

“I Uh know what happened with Wanda the other day” this made you direct your attention from the doorway back to Bucky as his stare at you became more determined. “I know transitioning is hard and I’m not going to bore you with me telling you I know what you went through because if I’m honest I don’t, I barely remember what I went through myself so I have no idea what they did to you” Your stare at him didn’t falter and Bucky took that as a sign to carry on.

“Just know that you’re not alone and turning your back on the world is a cop out, I’m not going to take the same crap Wanda did from you so just know that” although his words may have seemed harsh his tone was full of sincerity and kindness that you didn’t have the energy to fight so you simply nodded, not wanting to spill any secrets or step in a grey area. Bucky seemed pleased with your response enough to smile at you and go on to make a smoothie leaving you to listen to the sound of the blender and ponder over your future in this compound and with the avengers. HYDRA was still part of your life no matter how much the avengers tried to convince you otherwise and you knew they’d come for you, nothing was this easy. An unsettling feeling stormed over you and rested on your shoulders like a cloud ready to burst with lightning at any moment.

----------

So there’s part 4. More Peter interaction and development in this part that i love as well as a fond Bucky. I really want to play on loads of different relationships in this so let me know what you think!

Feedback is greatly welcomed as i’m a validation hoe and also any suggestions/ favourite parts/ what you’d change will really help me for Part 5!! Let me know! 

Add yourself to my taglist here 

TAGLIST: @aesthetic-png @liac2299 @animegirlgeeky @sexysamsungl @mikariell95 @evolutionofkatep @orowit @reefsurfer14 @1awesomeash

[such-fun]

Fic: You Should See Me In A Crown (Michael Langdon x Reader) Part Two.

You Should See Me In A Crown

Fandom: American Horror Story

Pairing: Michael Langdon x Reader

Summary: You can see the future, but you didn’t see this coming.

Notes: In this story, Queenie never got trapped in the Cortez.

Tags: @sweetcredence

2: 

You stared at Cordelia, willing her to wake up.

 The warlocks had gathered around her prone body after the Supreme fainted rather dramatically. Not that she didn’t have good reason to; it wasn’t every day a dead student came strolling back into your lives.

 And Michael—that was his name, Michael Langdon. He looked so…pleased.

 John Henry helped carry Cordelia back inside. For a moment in the elevator everyone stood silent.

 “How?”

 “I wanted to get your attention,” Michael stated boldly when Myrtle finally managed to find the words.

 He succeeded.

 The men had left you all to your reunion, unable to hide their enthusiasm at Michael’s display of power. Only John Henry showed some reservation. The others were too consumed by the very thought that the Alpha had arisen. That true power was nearly in their grasp.

 You let out a sharp breath of relief when you saw Cordelia’s eyes begin to flutter. Myrtle continued to stroke her hair as Zoe hovered nervously and Madison stared impatiently.

 Cordelia came awake with a gasp and upon seeing Madison she murmured, “It wasn’t a dream.”

 Before any of you could react, she stood, pulling Madison into a tight hug.

 “Maybe you forgot,” Madison croaked, “I’m not much of a hugger.”

 “You’re alive,” Cordelia whispered, voice watery from unshed tears.

 She pulled back, stroking the young girl’s face reverently.

 “The boy,” Cordelia began, causing you to tense and Myrtle to grimace.

 “He is with those presumptuous charlatans,” Myrtle sniffed.

 “I need to see him,” she declared, much to the redhead’s dismay.

 “Cordelia—”

 “I had a vision,” she stopped all of your protests.

 Her eyes fell on you and your breath came quick and shaky.

 “For months our sister has dreamt of our destruction,” she revealed as Zoe turned to you in concern. “And now I have seen it myself. It is no dream.” Cordelia looked to Myrtle, “I must see the boy.”

 “So be it,” Myrtle said in resignation. “To the lion’s den,” she murmured as she took Madison’s arm, then Zoe’s, and led them out of the study.

 “Cordelia—,” you stopped the blonde with a hand on her elbow. She gazed down at you sympathetically.

 “I’m sorry,” she offered graciously, “I should have known. The Sight would not be so fickle as to bend to imagination. He is real—the white-faced demon.”

 You swallowed nervously.

 “You saw him too?” You gnawed on your bottom lip fearfully.

 “I saw him gleefully destroy us all,” she admitted, eyes glazed as she mentally revisited the scene in her mind.

 “I will not see you girls hurt,” Cordelia was resolved as she gripped your arms reassuringly.

 “My inaction has kept us on this path,” the guilt clear in her voice. “But I am not my mother. I will not allow my own selfishness get in the way of your safety.

 “I…I am losing strength,” she confessed, and it felt like a physical blow to your stomach. “The Sight…I am not enough to stop what’s coming. I know that now. But if there’s a chance, if Ariel is right, if Michael is the new Supreme—”

 “No,” you interrupted her sharply. “Michael, he can’t—he’s not the one to lead us. He’s not you. I, when I saw him just now,” your babbling got Cordelia’s attention and her hands rubbed soothingly up and down your arms to calm you.

 “I felt,” you struggled to put your feelings into words. “Something inside me is drawn to him. My power—everything, it reacts to him. Like there is something inside me, demanding to be heard. It’s not right, it’s not—natural,” you pled.

 Cordelia smiled sadly, leaning forward and resting her forehead against yours. “That kind of response,” she considered solemnly, “it is wholly natural but unbelievably rare. Oh my girls,” she crooned sweetly, “you all have so much to learn.”

 You were all confusion as she took a small step back.

 “There are times when two souls are bound so tightly together that they recognize each other before our selves do. Michael is…extraordinarily gifted. And you,” she confided, “your power is growing every day. Your visions are more powerful than my own. It is possible that you are—connected.”

 Cordelia frowned, “I haven’t experienced anything like you describe. I don’t know if I’d even wish to. People think of it as Soulmates. Such a trite word. But feelings are just that—feelings. You need never act upon them.

 “You will see,” she grinned in determination, “we will not simply succumb to fate. Our destiny is ours to create. You’ve seen it, so have I, what fate has in store for our coven. I will see that it never comes to pass.

 “Whatever your connection to Michael, you are free to make your own decisions. As am I.” Cordelia’s smile faded as she forced herself to stand tall, her gaze shifting to the closed door and the men waiting beyond it.

 The Supreme strode past you, not looking for a moment as if her power was fading, and you found yourself following in her shadow. You only hoped to portray a mere hint of the confidence that she exuded.

  You rejoined the members of your coven who looked rather dour in the face of the smug faces of the warlocks.

 Michael stood beside Ariel, appearing deceptively innocent and far too happy with himself.

 His eyes flicked to you but you kept yours locked on Cordelia. Whatever this supposed connection was, Cordelia has assured you it was entirely your decision whether or not to acknowledge it. And in this moment, as your Supreme stood weakened and the end drew near, the last thing you cared to think about was some cosmic link to a mysterious boy.

 Eventually Michael gave up, turning his attention to her as well.

 She gifted him with a genuine smile and he practically preened.

 “I want to thank you for bringing her back.” Ariel patted Michael on the back, all the while wearing a shit-eating grin. Michael ducked his head in appreciation.

 “I’ve been presented with something,” she continued, “A vision.”

 Her hand reached out blindly, finding Zoe’s and holding it tight.

 “I believe I saw the future. A terrifying future.” Michael remained stoic at such a revelation, but John Henry fidgeted anxiously. “Cataclysm. Fire. Death. I saw a man, but not a man. A white face. Demonic. He was laughing. Our academy, sisters, I saw it reduced to cinders.”

 Myrtle looked ill at the thought.

 “A warning.” Cordelia closed her eyes for a moment, steeling herself. “But something in my blood is telling me that the only hope we have of surviving depends on what I do next.”

 Michael perked up, and you watched closely as his muscles bunched slightly in anticipation.

 “In two weeks time, at the rise of the Blood Moon, you will take the test of the Seven Wonders.”

 The shouting was instantaneous, from both sides.

 Ariel, Baldwin, and Behold were unable to hide their elation. Michael appeared studiously humble. Myrtle, on the other hand, was furious.

 “Cordelia, this isn’t done!” she cried, but the Supreme merely shook her head.

 “I’ve made up my mind.”

 And that was that. There was no swaying her. It was shortly after that you left Hawthorne’s, and the rather intense gaze of Michael Langdon.

 Myrtle tried her best to reason with Cordelia on the car ride to the airport, on the plane, even as you all walked into the house in Louisiana. But there was no changing course.

 Cordelia was determined to alter the course of the future. You hoped she was doing the right thing. Still, you dreaded the thought of sleep that night and what things you might see.

 But Cordelia was the Supreme, you tried to comfort yourself, and it didn’t do well to dwell on dreams.

   As the girls settled into bed, night had only just begun in California.

 It wasn’t difficult for Michael to sneak out of Hawthorne’s. His teachers were too busy congratulating themselves on their supposed victory over Cordelia Goode to even notice he was gone.

 John Henry and his determination to find proof of Michael’s nefarious intentions was only a minor bump in the road. And one that had hopefully been handled.

 Looking off into the tree line, he beamed when he saw her waiting in the shadows. He took off running, letting out a delighted giggle when she was finally close enough to pull into a big hug.

 “Oh, my dear boy,” Miriam Mead cooed as she smothered him in a motherly embrace.

 “Oh! Oh, look at you. You're skin and bones,” she tsked, standing back to take in the sight of him. “You're wasting away. Don't these people feed you?”

 “I'm fine,” Michael assured her, basking in her presence before his mood shifted. “Just tell me you took care of the problem.”

 “The problem,” she smirked, “is now a stack of overcooked country barbecue. They can bury him in a shoebox.”

 “Good,” he was relieved. John Henry was a potential roadblock that had needed to be dealt with. She was the only person he truly had faith in to accomplish the task. “These people are the only ones who could pose a threat to me. Once I become Supreme, I can destroy them from within, eliminate their whole fucking coven. Then the road will be clear for me to do what I was born to do.”

 “So stop worrying,” Mead chided. “Look how easy it was for you to win their trust, to get into their school. They may be wizards, but they're not exactly wizzes. Everything is going beautifully.”

 “I still have to pass the Seven Wonders,” he reminded her, and she rolled her eyes. He envied the faith she had in him. There were days when doubt plagued him, but Ms. Mead was relentlessly optimistic. In her eyes, he could do no wrong.

 “You will own the Seven Wonders, and then all of their covens, and then the world.” Michael smiled from ear to ear at her unwavering certainty.

 His mind strayed for a moment and then he graced her with a thoroughly pleased half smile.

 “I saw her today,” he mused. “With the other witches. She wanted to come to me, I could feel it, but she fought the instinct.”

 Miriam clapped her hands in delight. “Give it time,” she reminded him. “She’s spent too much time with that Supreme of hers. She doesn’t know her place. At your side,” she declared proudly, smoothing down the collar of his shirt. It was only a matter of time until he found her. The one who would help him usher in a new age and a new world made in his father’s image. The girl didn’t know how special she was, the honor that had been bestowed on her. But it was only a matter of time. Michael would become Supreme and all would fall into place.

 “What would I do without you?” he sighed contentedly, wishing he shared her complete conviction.

 Mead pinched his cheek teasingly, the happiest she had ever been. “Now that’s something you’ll never have to worry about.”

[killervibe]

Pls write something extremely very sad having to do with Cisco, Caitlin, and Lia. Ages and relative temporal proximity all up to you :D :D D

**WARNING ANGST ALERT DON’T @ME YOU ASKED FOR THIS.**

Cisco had five projects to approve and three deadlines to set up before six. He liked working, honestly he did, but he was getting excited to wrap up all this extra stuff so he could hurry on with retirement. He needed a vacation. He was thinking the Bahamas, but his wife wasn’t the fondest of sand.

Cisco paused to crack his knuckles, and swiped closed his holographic eisle. His eyes flitted to the right side of his home desk, and the corner of his mouth tugged upwards. He picked up the picture frame, rubbing his thumb over the glass to activate the live photo.

“Honey,” he said, thinking about the last time they’ve all been together. It’s been a while. “We should update our family portrait. This one is ancient.”

Caitlin came in from the kitchen, wiping her hands on her pants. “That’s a good idea.”

He looked up and passed her the frame. Caitlin was still so beautiful. At sixty-three, her powers have preserved her youth, and she began to purposely dye some hair silver at the roots only to keep up appearances.

She studied the photo. “I was always particularly fond of this one though. The two of you are laughing at the same time.”

“Yeah,” Cisco agreed. “We can ask the next time Lia comes home. Did she say when?”

Caitlin nodded, fiddling with her arm tech. “In three weeks, she sent me an audio.”

She pulled it up and they both sat back to listen to their daughter’s rambling message.

—Which is why Nora is so keen on catching him. Oh, and tell dad that I’m waiting for his turn on Jelly Crash. I’m on level six hundred and I need him to send me more lives. Shrap, gotta jet. Love you mom. Bye!

Cisco leaned back in his chair, sliding his reading glasses up his forehead, and running his hand through his silver streaked hair. “She really seems to like Central City.”

“She loves it,” Caitlin replied, putting the frame back. She began massaging her husband’s shoulders. Cisco reached up and placed his hand over hers, looking up at where she’s standing behind him, watching her toy with something in her mind.

“What is it?”

She gave his right shoulder a small squeeze.

“Have you ever thought of telling her?”

Cisco sighed. “I don’t know how to anymore. But yes. I’ve thought of it. I thought it plenty. I wish we did.”

Caitlin removed her touch, choosing instead to sit next to him in his spare chair. She looked out the window of their house, watching the scenery. Green hills and their little pond with the ducks that seemed to make their home there. “Do you think we were bad parents?”

“We have good relationships with both our children, Caitlin.”

She kept looking away. “You know what I’m talking about.”

Cisco went quiet. “I don’t know. I didn’t agree with Iris’s choice until we had Lia. But she’s an adult now. And so independent. She probably would’ve been fine with the truth.”

Caitlin sighed herself, then turned from the window, meeting his gaze. “Central City isn’t any safer than it was when we were there. With Lia working for CCPD now,  I think we should let her know.”

Cisco silently agreed. He was afraid though about how she’d take it. He was so close to his daughter, and she looked up to him so much. It was terribly hard on both of them when she decided to move away, leaving her job at Ramon Industries to live with her best friend and pick up the empty job position there at CCPD.  He was afraid of what this might do, if this would taint her love for him.

Maybe that was selfish. He was her father. It was his job to prepare her for the world, but she didn’t even know half of what she was capable of. They were honestly lucky, that she hadn’t stumbled upon her powers herself.

“Okay,” he said. “In three weeks. No more family secrets. We tell her everything.”

Caitlin smiled, pleased, and it had been years since she let her frost show, only being very subtle with keeping their ice cream cold and being notorious for not boiling to death during heatwaves, but the eyebrow raise and smirk she gave sent chills down Cisco’s spine, reminding him of his wife’s long neglected alter ego. “Maybe not everything.”

“No,” Cisco laughed. “I’m cutting out half the embarrassing things I’ve done. I’m not living through schrap about that vacuum cleaner again.”

Their front door opened, and a voice called out. “Mom? Dad? I’m home! Can we eat now? I swear I’ve been dreaming about vegan pollo y arroz all day.”

Caitlin got up, sharing an amused look with Cisco. “He’s how old again? That’s my cue to set the table. Think he’d make dinner himself one of these days if he’s so hungry.”

“Twenty, but if you subtract ten, you get how old he wants to still be,” he joked. He pushed back his chair, dropping his glasses on his desk. “I’ll help.”

~.~

Cisco was helping himself to coffee in his home office after dinner, sending all his work through the cloud when his arm beeped.

Incoming call from Nora West-Allen.

Cisco excused himself from a virtual conference, accepting the call.

“Hey kiddo, how’s it holding up down there? Is Lia around? Can you put her on? I’ve been trying to get a hold of her all day. I sent her those lives on Jelly Crash she was complaining about.”

The other line was silent.

“—Nora? …Nora?”

A ragged breath and then a burst of high pitched sobs.

Cisco’s heart stopped. “Nora? What happened?”

“…”

“Are you hurt? Is it your mom?”

“I ran as fast as I could—Please forgive me, I tried to save her—I—please.”

She ran? Cisco leaned against the wall, sliding down in a way that made his joints burn.

“Nora. Who?”

His face twisted with pain, tears blocking his vision. Because Nora wasn’t answering him, only sobbing harder, and why would she be calling him and not Wally if it was Iris and not—

“Lia?” he choked out.

No please. Take away his brother and his mother and his best friend but please, not his daughter.

He covered his mouth with his other hand, trembling.

“How?”

“Godspeed—His hand—It just went — It right through, and—I didn’t even have time to—I couldn’t even —say goodbye.”

“Nora,” he whimpered.

“I’m sorry,” she broke off, and it went quiet again.

“Nora?” Cisco panicked, “Nora! Nora, no! Wait!” But the line went dead. He redialed with shaky fingers, his chest heaving, but she wouldn’t pick up.

“Caitlin!” he screamed, his voice tearing out of his throat, opening a breach in his house for the first time in years because he couldn’t walk, he could barely stand, collapsing into her arms.

“Woah,” she said, teetering with him. “Cisco—What?”

He held onto her, burying his head against her neck, hiccupping where it was soft and smelt like her perfume, the one Lia bought Caitlin last Mother’s Day.

“Cisco?”

He looked up at her, and saw the realization seep into her eyes.

“No,” she whispered, horrified, pulling away to look at him. “Did you vibe it? When? Tomorrow? Tonight?”

Cisco suddenly understood Nora’s horrible silence, unable to speak. Unable to utter the words out loud, and he cupped her face in his hands, begging her not to break.

Caitlin’s hands flew to her mouth, stepping back like a scared animal,  her eyes flickering brown to blue and over again, losing her twenty years of control.

Their son walked into the living room with his EarPods in, pausing at the scene alarmed. He yanked the things out of his ears.

“Dad—?”

Caitlin’s hair was now full on white, clutching the frozen counter.

“Mom?”

Dante Stein looked between the two, then stuck on the ice.

“Lia’s dead.” Their son swallowed, looking into his father’s eyes. His face crumpled and so did Cisco’s. “She’s dead. Isn’t she.”

Caitlin wailed and their kitchen turned into a storm.

[gffa]

DO YOU WANT TO CRY about some STAR WARS characters and relationships and feelings? But you’re not quite sure specifically what you want to cry about today?  Not sure if you want to cry about what Anakin Skywalker could have been?  Want to cry about Vader and his kids?  Want to cry about EVERYTHING ABOUT OBI-WAN KENOBI’S LIFE?  Want to cry about Rex or Ahsoka?  Want to cry about time travel?  Want to cry about the Phoenix crew? BOY, CAN I HELP YOU OUT, FRIEND.  Because fandom brought theri A-game in just about every possible way this time! STAR WARS FIC RECS: PREQUELS RECS: ✦ untitled Supreme Chancellor Obi-Wan fic by stonefreeak, anakin & ahsoka (& obi-wan) & cast, 1.8k    Anakin sits on the floor in his room, back against the bed and face buried in his knees. He didn’t bother to turn the lights on when he came back, the darkness too soothing, too comfortable to disrupt. ✦ untitled Supreme Chancellor Obi-Wan fic by stonefreeak part one + part two, padme & cast, 2.6k    The Senate has a crisis meeting to react to the bombing of the Senate Office Building. Dun dun dunnnnnn… ✦ Suffer Not the Children by ambiguously, katooni & cast, 2k    “The Temple has fallen. We must go now.” ✦ we were born for better days by FireflysLove, obi-wan & anakin & ahsoka, 3.6k wip    Obi-Wan attempts to save Vader from the Dark Side, but the Rebellion, especially Bail Organa and Ahsoka Tano, are not going to believe that after a decade of terrorizing the galaxy, Anakin Skywalker can possibly be saved. ✦ Free Agent by countessofbiscuit, ahsoka & boba & cast (& background rex/ahsoka), 9.5k    In which Ahsoka falls in with more misguided youth, drinks to forget (it doesn’t work), and wastes no time broadening her career horizons with her boyfriend’s delinquent kid brother. ✦ Don’t Go Gently Into This Darkness by ThatDamnKennedyKid, obi-wan & anakin & ahsoka & cody & rex & cast, 5.6k wip    When Cody awoke, his General was sitting next to his bed, body still and stare distant. He was thinking, planning, readying. That meant a disaster was coming down the line, and when Kenobi got to it, it would not be pretty for whoever was on the other side. ✦ Captain and Commander by Elfpen, ahsoka & rex & cast, 3.2k    A look into the special camaraderie shared by Captain Rex and Ahsoka Tano, arcing from the issuance of Order 66 to past the end of Rebels. A story told in three parts. Rated for death and violence. ✦ Caught in the Tide by brinnanza, obi-wan & anakin, ~1k    He takes one look at the boy, his pale skin, the dark bags under his red-rimmed eyes, and breathes a soft sigh. “Oh, Anakin,” he says gently and steps aside to let his former padawan into the room. ✦ O Captain! by naberiie, rex, 1.5k    Rex is the last of Torrent Company. The ghosts of his brothers - their words - haunt him still. ✦ I Found You pt2 by KeeperofSeeds, obi-wan & shmi & cast, ~1k    She looks up and meets the eyes of Qui Gon Jinn. Her son’s grand Master. ✦ we found us a home by shiningjedi, shaak & adi & yaddle, 1k wip    Scenes showcasing the bonds of friendship and family between the Jedi of the Clone Wars and Prequel eras. ✦ In Time by Ripki, obi-wan & anakin, time travel, 18.8k wip    As the Clone Wars drags on and the secrets between them grow, Anakin and Obi-Wan have begun to drift apart. When a mysterious holocron sends them through time, they don’t only have to confront their past and future – but the present as well. (Or the Force, frustrated and tired with all their bullshit, sends the Team to an unconventional couple’s therapy.) ✦ Y'AIN’T SHIT, WITCH by subtropicalStenella, wolffe & kit & asajj & cast, 1.1k    The Clone Wars: Asajj/Wolffe/Kit Fisto, the fight which costs the Commander his eye. An Explicit Trash Talking No Holds Barred Brawl. ✦ Under a purple sun… by Perspicacia, obi-wan & ahsoka, ~1k    Ahsoka hadn’t been happy when Skyguy had left her with Master Kenobi for this mission, but it was still good to spend time with her Grand Master. ✦ Queen Under the Ocean by BloodyMary, padme, ~1k    Once upon a time, the people of Naboo had elected a queen. She had fought for her people, and she would not be forgotten. People like her did not die–they lived on in stories long after those who knew them had died. ✦ To tell you the truth, I’m relieved by Petra, obi-wan & anakin & death, discworld crossover, ~1k    When you die, you have to walk a desert. Obi-Wan and Anakin are dead, and they’ve been to deserts before. ✦ Rumour Has It by Ripki, obi-wan & anakin/padme & ahsoka & cast, 5.2k    Rumour has it that the distinguished Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi is seeking a new apprentice after successfully training the Chosen One into Knighthood. The whole Temple seems to be in a flutter of excitement; Anakin, less so. He sets himself the task of reviewing every single one of the hopeful Initiates. After all, it is not just anyone, who can survive being Obi-Wan’s Padawan. ✦ Fire by EwanMcGregorIsMyHomeboy12, obi-wan/satine, NSFW, 1.7k    Between the incident with Tal Merrick on the Coronet and the long ride back to Coruscant, there are plenty of things that a certain Jedi Master and Duchess can get into… ✦ Help Me by FireflyFish, obi-wan & anakin, 2.5k    All seemed lost, light, love, and hope. And then Anakin cried out for help… ✦ A Good Time by daily_nightly, obi-wan & anakin, 1.4k    A story about a padawan who always gets in trouble and needs his master to rescue him. Typical Anakin Skywalker and Obi-wan Kenobi. ✦ Hondo Kenobi by StarWarsSyl, obi-wan & hondo & cast, 2.6k    It’s not every day the pirate Hondo calls Obi-Wan in to give him a baby. ✦ Recovery by Perspicacia, obi-wan & ahsoka & cast, 1.8k    Ahsoka came back alive from her fight with Vader but not exactly in good shape. Bail Organa promptly sent her for some recovery time with one of his most mysterious contacts in the Outer Rim. ✦ Oft Falling by kylohen, obi-wan/padme, NSFW, 10.5k    Every few months, whenever he can, Obi-Wan sends flowers to the Coruscant apartments of Senator Padmé Amidala. There’s a reason for this that he can never explain, except to her. If anyone else knew, it would ruin him. ✦ To lay your heart and head upon by ambiguously, ahsoka/barriss, 1.5k    Ahsoka is on a mission when she runs into an old friend. OBI-WAN/ANAKIN RECS: ✦ Equinox by lilyconrad, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, sith!obi-wan (sort of), d/s, 84.1k wip    During the Clone Wars, Obi-Wan and Anakin crash on a remote planet and take shelter in the ruins of a grand estate only to find they are not alone. ✦ all spaces are liminal by Kierkegarden, obi-wan/anakin & sidious, & cast, nsfw, sith!obi-wan, 35.9k    Three years after the fall of the Republic, Obi-Wan Kenobi hasn’t come any closer to making peace with his new life. Three years after the fall of the Republic, Vader wants the gratification of forgiveness. Three years after the fall of the Republic, time doesn’t bend or break or alter. It simply rushes past those who cannot learn to embrace it. ✦ Return to the Point of No Return by cthene, obi-wan/anakin, time travel, touch starved, 26.7k    He turns around, his tunic soaked with blood, and holds the gorgon’s head up by its wispy hair. “Anakin, please-” “Don’t beg me, Master,” says the last of the Sith, tenderly reaching to cup Obi Wan’s hot cheek with a gore-stained hand. “Command me.” ✦ My Moon After the Tide by LemonTwister, obi-wan/anakin & cast, NSFW, some d/s, 38.8k    After being inflicted with a paralytic toxin, Anakin is unable to care for himself until he recovers. Obi-Wan promises to provide his Padawan with everything he needs. ✦ starbird by imaginarykat, obi-wan/anakin, 8.8k    As far as Anakin’s concerned, Obi-Wan is the picture of a perfect Jedi. ✦ To Lose My Mind and Find My Soul by Glare, obi-wan/anakin & cast, fairy tale au, 3.2k wip    Anakin Skywalker is not allowed past the boundaries of the village, is not allowed to walk the path through the wood that leads to the world beyond, but sometimes he finds himself slipping away anyways, inexplicably drawn to the forest and the monstrous creature that stalks it. ✦ Eyes Wide Like Cherry Pies by Darlings (FromDreamstoEmpires), FromDreamstoEmpires, obi-wan/anakin & padme & cast, NSFW, modern au, 6.7k wip    Anakin is a typical struggling college student studying art. Obi-Wan is a successful lawyer he meets one night through Padme and Staine. He doesn’t think he’ll ever see him again but neither of them can deny their attraction to each other. ✦ Last breath by Arctii, obi-wan/anakin & cast, 7.9k wip    Anakin leaves. Obi-Wan decides, reluctantly, knowing it’s probably not the smartest thing he has done, to try and track him down. That, surprisingly, proves to be a difficult task. Especially since there are so many realisations he doesn’t want to face, and since Anakin seemingly does everything he can to disappear. ✦ Star Birth by thatsakitkat, obi-wan/anakin & cast, NSFW, a/b/o, dark themes, 7k wip    "Am I going to die, Master?” Anakin asks. Obi-Wan looks at him sharply. “No. You will not die, Anakin.” “I’m burning,” Anakin says. He blinks slowly and strains to concentrate. “You set me on fire.” ✦ Tumblr Prompt Drabbles by Adelphrexia, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, various themes, ~1k wip (sort of)    A collection of Obikin drabble requests originally posted on my Tumblr. Mostly smut, any warnings will be posted on the chapter they apply to. ✦ The Team by writegowrite, obi-wan/anakin, human au, mafia au, ~1k    Behind a warehouse long abandoned by everything but rats, beneath a blue sky smudged brown by pollution, a pristine black Mercedes sat idling like a wraith. ✦ Almost Lost by aphorisnt, obi-wan/anakin & kix, 3k    Anakin gets injured and Obi-Wan does not handle it well. ✦ i didn’t want this thing called living by dorenamryn, obi-wan/anakin, 4.8k wip (sort of)    Alternatively: Obi-wan’s heart is forever shattered, and Anakin always burns. (A collection of ficlets cataloguing the tragedy of two lives both before and after the fall that was never supposed to happen.) ✦ Tumblr Prompts by Darlings (FromDreamstoEmpires), obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, d/s, 6.6k (each chapter is separate)    A collection of prompts that I’ve filled on Tumblr. ✦ WANTED: DEAD OR ALIVE by anecdotalist, obi-wan/anakin & cast, 13k wip    War has broken out between the Republic and the Separatists. But that is of no concern to Ben, one of the best bounty hunters in the galaxy. All he’s focused on is his next target…until he’s invited to a tournament of hunters on Serenno. There, he meets a young Jedi Knight—the Hero With No Fear, Anakin Skywalker—who’s disguised as bounty hunter Rako Hardeen. ✦ My Anakin by DonkerRood, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, bondage, some d/s, 1.1k    Obi-Wan is back from a mission and realizes Anakin always gets what he wants. ORIGINAL TRILOGY RECS: ✦ Master and Padawan by Katharos, obi-wan & luke & cast, 15.5k wip    What if Luke was raised by Obi-Wan as his Padawan? ✦ Ritual by ambiguously, bail & breha & leia & luke & han, ~1k    Two funerals Leia attended. ✦ Ben Whitesun by Perspicacia, obi-wan/beru & cast, 6k    When Obi-Wan brought Luke to the Lars’ farm, he found only a struggling grieving widow and not the young, happy couple he hoped. This is how Ben Kenobi became a moisture farmer instead of a hermit… ✦ Carmine by AceQueenKing, anakin & leia, 2.7k    The Princess stirs, waking; her eyes catch him at her door and her face darkens, ready for a fight. ✦ Useful by igrockspock, leia & luke & han, 1.4k    To earn her place on the Falcon, Leia has to be useful, so she tries to learn everything she can. ✦ Paper Trails; A Triptych of Leia Organa by glorious_clio, leia & cast, 7.9k    By the time she was 19, Leia has three defined roles that she slots in and out of, some are more obvious to outsiders than others. But Leia Organa is also more than the sum of her parts. ✦ Entail by Domenika Marzione (domarzione), leia & luke & ahsoka & cast, 2.4k    Families of all sorts come with obligations. And baggage. ✦ The Trick is to Keep Breathing by AceQueenKing, anakin & leia, 3.3k    She’s older now, and so is he. Far older now. She wonders: will he have lost any power with his age? Will he be shorter, weaker? An old man on a ventilator? It’s hard to imagine that he won’t still be dangerous. But then, that’s exactly what she’s counting on. ✦ Minor Counterintelligence Operations by igrockspock, han/leia & ben, 2.5k    Ben Solo knows three things: he loves his parents, they are weird, and they have a lot of secrets. He intends to find them out. CROSSING THE GENERATIONS: ✦ GrandMasters & GrandPadawans by ShadeCrawler, ezra & mace, background time travel, 2.2k    AKA. Where Ezra Bridger and Mace Windu have a discussion over juice. ✦ Round Two by ambiguously, ahsoka/sabine & cast, time travel, 1.4k    Sabine and Ahsoka get stranded in the past together. ✦ How to Kill a Ghost by saiditallbefore, kylo & yoda, 1.6k    “Fuck. I’m being followed by a dead Jedi.” “Jedi master, I was,” he says, tapping Kylo with his cane again. ✦ Spectre by Magical_Destiny, anakin & kylo, 2.2k    In the aftermath of Crait, Kylo Ren finally meets his grandfather. ✦ another city (better than this one) by notbecauseofvictories, lando & ben solo, 5.8k    The kid is sitting cross-legged on a drum of tibanna gas, picking at a hole in his leggings despite the bulky stun-cuffs binding his wrists together. He keeps darting black looks at the patrolmen flanking him on either side, and scowling. REBELS RECS: ✦ Mating Rituals by Velvedere, zeb/kallus & sabine & cast, 4.7k    Zeb has been acting weird lately. Kallus vents to Sabine about it. ✦ Seven by ambiguously, kanan & jacen, time travel (sort of), 3.8k    Kanan asks the wolves a question. The wolves bring him someone with a different question. ✦ The Care and Keeping of Ex-Imperials Who Need Coffee, a Nap, and a Hug in That Order by akaparalian, kallus & phoenix crew (& some zeb/kallus), 8.8k    Five Ghost crew members who helped Alexsandr Kallus, and one who he helped in return. ✦ When we have peace by apocrypha73, zeb/kallus, 2.9k    After the Battle of Endor, Kallus and Zeb enjoy the celebration. ✦ The First Day of the Rest of Your Life by ambiguously, kanan/hera & ocs, 6.7k    Kanan and Hera, from point A to point B, and all the places between. ✦ Without, Inferno | Within, Peace by auraelys, kanan/hera & sabine & ezra & depa, ~1k    In that moment, Kanan knows the choice he has to make, no matter how much it hurts. ✦ In the Middle of the Night by bar2d2s, hera & kallus (background kanan/hera & zeb/kallus), 1.8k    When one member of your self-made family is pregnant, you’re all pregnant. ✦ A Moment to Breathe by Mirror and Image, kanan & kallus & hera & ezra & sabine & zeb & cast, 8.9k    Everyone struggles to come to terms with the Season 3 finale - Kallus most of all - and in their grief and defeat one blind man gives them a moment to breathe. ✦ And a Million Years Gone By by ambiguously, hera & jacen, 5.7k    Hera worries about Jacen a lot. ✦ Morning Light by SweetSinger2010, kanan/hera & sabine & ezra & zeb & cast, 8k    He’d long since figured out he was in bacta. He was able to orient himself to the sound of voices in the room, sometimes. When it was Hera speaking, always. And he could sense that little flicker of light and life she carried with her–their child. AU. full details + recs under the cut! 

PREQUELS RECS: ✦ untitled Supreme Chancellor Obi-Wan fic by stonefreeak, anakin & ahsoka (& obi-wan) & cast, 1.8k    Anakin sits on the floor in his room, back against the bed and face buried in his knees. He didn’t bother to turn the lights on when he came back, the darkness too soothing, too comfortable to disrupt.    Note: This fic is part of a larger series that should probably be read in order by this point. This rec will contain some spoilers for earlier chapters at the very least. This is a gorgeous look at Anakin’s character after Obi-Wan has been injured, how deeply he feels things and how much of an absolute mess he is when he descends into a panic attack about it. There’s something so painful about it and makes me care all the more about Anakin’s suffering, how badly he handles things, and how he slips and slides around when trying to understand what people are saying to him, what they mean–when he has a choice in front of him, it’s so easy to be suspicious of the Jedi, because Anakin just doesn’t know how to trust, but when this universe gives them a chance to better communicate, when it gives them all the breathing room to have addressed some of these things, when it takes Palpatine’s influence to a better distance, we get to see just how they would handle it. And that’s what I love, why this fic is so beautifully characterized and really gets this universe, because it doesn’t magically make everything better, things still hurt, characters are still a mess, things aren’t easy, but it shows that their internal problems were surmountable, it was the external ones that really fucked them over. It’s gorgeous for illustrating that in such a comprelling, heart-wrenching way (oh, Anakin, I can’t read this and not want to wrap him up in the biggest hug ever, the panic attack he has is so beautifully done that it physically hurts me), but also being just so warm and good. Another of my favorite pieces for this story! ✦ untitled Supreme Chancellor Obi-Wan fic by stonefreeak part one + part two, padme & cast, 2.6k    The Senate has a crisis meeting to react to the bombing of the Senate Office Building. Dun dun dunnnnnn…    Note: This fic is part of a larger series that should probably be read in order by this point. This rec will contain some spoilers for earlier chapters at the very least. Putting these two together, since they’re part of the same piece of the story and, oh, I really loved these as well, it’s another gorgeous illustration of the state of the galaxy as it was in canon, but with enough breathing room (and Palpatine’s influence at just enough of a distance) to allow characters better clarity and to change things just enough. It’s a great fic for Padme as a Senator, the little details of how she’s given the breathing room to put things together, the better space from which to observe just how corrupt and selfish the Senate really is, all of it is so satisfying as a way to show that internal problems were overcomable when the external problems are at just enough of a distance to let the characters breathe a little. But also seriously it’s a great Padme fic at the same time and it was such a treasure to read! Her horror at what was happening around her, her disbelief and shock at just how selfish people could be, was really impactful on a visceral level, I felt it with her. ✦ Suffer Not the Children by ambiguously, katooni & cast, 2k    “The Temple has fallen. We must go now.”    Oh, my god, this fic was heartbreaking but so gorgeously written and did a stunning job of driving home just how much Order 66 hurt and was mind-numbingly awful. The sheer amount of loss and danger these children face, that it’s just 2k of the worst day of their lives, but it left me feeling exhausted afterwards because it’s so beautifully told and shows what these kids face just because they were Jedi. Sometimes it can get to be a little OTT, what Order 66 meant, but here it’s told exactly how the author means it to come across and it’s horrifying for it, even as I became so invested in these kids and the sheer soul-hurting pain of what they had to suffer through and what they have to face next. Just the sheer amount of loss, isolation, uncertainty, and yet the bravery and innate goodness of these children. Oh, my heart. ✦ we were born for better days by FireflysLove, obi-wan & anakin & ahsoka, 3.6k wip    Obi-Wan attempts to save Vader from the Dark Side, but the Rebellion, especially Bail Organa and Ahsoka Tano, are not going to believe that after a decade of terrorizing the galaxy, Anakin Skywalker can possibly be saved.    I’m a sucker for canon-divergent fics where Obi-Wan and Vader meet earlier and this one really got its hooks in me with the second chapter, where their confrontation happens in a way I didn’t expect. I love Anakin having to face up to the enormous truth, there’s something so satisfying about it, even as it breaks my heart for him (and for Obi-Wan and for Ahsoka and for Padme) all over again, so I’m hoping that the next chapter will continue on with that because I am here for it. There’s also some nice stuff between Obi-Wan & Ahsoka in the first chapter as well! I’m definitely ready to see where this one goes! ✦ Free Agent by countessofbiscuit, ahsoka & boba & cast (& background rex/ahsoka), 9.5k    In which Ahsoka falls in with more misguided youth, drinks to forget (it doesn’t work), and wastes no time broadening her career horizons with her boyfriend’s delinquent kid brother.    This was a fun, irreverent caper fic that was half about Ahsoka trying to figure out how to not be such a mess (not that she’s too much of a mess, just that she has some things to figure out and isn’t in a great place) while interacting with Boba, on a mission to go rescue someone they’re getting paid for. I wouldn’t say it’s light-hearted, but it is sarcastic and impudent in tone, it’s messy in all the ways it’s meant to be, and a fun romp to read! ✦ Don’t Go Gently Into This Darkness by ThatDamnKennedyKid, obi-wan & anakin & ahsoka & cody & rex & cast, 5.6k wip    When Cody awoke, his General was sitting next to his bed, body still and stare distant. He was thinking, planning, readying. It was a look generally reserved for when Skywalker or Tano were going to need defending in the Council. Insofar as he could recall, they’d been good. That meant a disaster was coming down the line, and when Kenobi got to it, it would not be pretty for whoever was on the other side.    This is a fic that’s definitely a WIP, not much has happened yet, but if you’re like me you’re absolutely here for Obi-Wan getting a heads up and starting to plan and that means people are going to be fucked, because Obi-Wan is actually pretty great when he has enough information to put the pieces together and formulate something, and it’s going to be super satisfying to read. It’s just the start of it for now, but there’s lots of fun little scenes, the ones with Obi-Wan & Anakin are a highlight, but also just the Jedi finding out about the chips in the clones’ heads and getting a chance to do something about it! HELL YEAH. ✦ Captain and Commander by Elfpen, ahsoka & rex & cast, 3.2k    A look into the special camaraderie shared by Captain Rex and Ahsoka Tano, arcing from the issuance of Order 66 to past the end of Rebels. A story told in three parts. Rated for death and violence.    A gorgeous look at Ahsoka and Rex during Order 66, based on what we know of what was planned for those moments. It’s good for both characters, it’s aching for what they’ve both been through and what they’re going to suffer in the future, like I have so many feelings about both of them separately here, but it’s also a great look at their friendship, too. It’s a heartachingly beautiful piece to read and really shows how much they both meant. ✦ Caught in the Tide by brinnanza, obi-wan & anakin, ~1k    He takes one look at the boy, his pale skin, the dark bags under his red-rimmed eyes, and breathes a soft sigh. “Oh, Anakin,” he says gently and steps aside to let his former padawan into the room.    A short but really solid piece that shows what a mess Anakin Skywalker is, but also how deeply Obi-Wan cares about him, how it balances Obi-Wan’s reactions (his own losses, how he’s truly lost people, while Anakin can still see those he cares about, the urge to be angry, one that he acknowledges and then lets go, the way that allows him to remain so balanced, so steady, while still being so human) with his being a Jedi, there’s just such a solidity to his character, a warmth to the iron foundations he has, and such deep care. That even when he’s out of his depth, you get why Anakin leans on him so much. I picked it up for the Obi-Wan & Anakin interaction (which is the highlight of it) but got some solid Obi-Wan characterization out of it as well. ✦ O Captain! by naberiie, rex, 1.5k    Rex is the last of Torrent Company. The ghosts of his brothers - their words - haunt him still.    This is a heartbreaking Rex piece, who has no idea just how brave he is to have lived through everything he has. It’s non-stop pain, but that’s pretty true to Star Wars in general and just gave me so many Rex feelings, because, wow, when you step back, that guy has Been Through Some Shit. A lovely piece for a character that deserved better! ✦ I Found You pt2 by KeeperofSeeds, obi-wan & shmi & cast, ~1k    She looks up and meets the eyes of Qui Gon Jinn. Her son’s grand Master.    You should probably read the rest of the series before this one, it won’t make much sense without it, and while this fic series doesn’t entirely work with canon, it’s one that’s really dear to me because Shmi and Obi-Wan and someday Anakin will get here and this is a really short piece, but IT HAS HUGS. I am always a sucker for more hugs! ✦ we found us a home by shiningjedi, shaak & adi & yaddle, 1k wip    Scenes showcasing the bonds of friendship and family between the Jedi of the Clone Wars and Prequel eras.    A series of short but lovely, warm (and sometimes bittersweet, as it’s set during the backdrop of the Clone Wars) interactions between various Jedi that aren’t always showcased front and center. I loved the kindness and care shown in these pieces, it fits so well with them, and I love the way each of them feels natural, like these characters would of course have these relationships, that Adi would comfort Shaak when she needs it, that Shaak would seek out Yaddle to connect with her, and I love that these two chapters happened to focus on women, but mostly just I LOVE THESE CHARACTERS AHHH. ✦ In Time by Ripki, obi-wan & anakin, time travel, 18.8k wip    As the Clone Wars drags on and the secrets between them grow, Anakin and Obi-Wan have begun to drift apart. When a mysterious holocron sends them through time, they don’t only have to confront their past and future – but the present as well. (Or the Force, frustrated and tired with all their bullshit, sends the Team to an unconventional couple’s therapy.)    Chapters 7-8: I’ve done a more generalized rec for this fic here, which I link because I really want people to read this fic with me, as well as because this will be an update rec and focus on the current chapters, rather than the fic as a whole. These two chapters continue what the fic is showing us (and doing a really great job of not just telling us, but instead really showing the reader and the characters) the things that they don’t really understand about the other person, especially Anakin seeing just how much Obi-Wan has been through, as that’s always something he’s had trouble understanding. It’s this really great combination of time-travel, protectiveness between the characters for the other, seeing things with fresh eyes, character whump, and to really illustrate how much these two care about each other, through their complicated, difficult relationship.    In chapter 7, Anakin sees what Obi-Wan went through on Zigoola from Wild Space, then in chapter 8 dropped them back into the same place again for awhile, as Obi-Wan is having much more difficulty with this whole time travel thing, which feeds my desire for whump AND comfort fic AND the further sense of building up of Anakin getting that Obi-Wan has Been Through Some Shit, which hasn’t hit the payoff yet, but is clearly building towards understanding that his Master hasn’t had an easy life (and this is why I don’t mind the borrowing from the Legends stuff that can’t work with canon, because it’s used really well here! delicious, delicious physical and emotional whump! in such kind-hearted ways towards the characters!) and yet has still managed to make peace with it. I’m eagerly rubbing my hands together with each chapter that comes out because it’s so satisfying on an iddy level, but also satisfying for something that’s legitimately being built up in a way that does the heavy lifting of getting Anakin to understand, that it shows how deeply entwined these characters are in each others’ lives, and really shows the epic span of these characters’ lives. It also hits a good place between being shippy and being gen, that you can read more into it or you can read it on a purely platonic or familial level, that it’s the relationship between these two that’s important (and gives me so many feelingsevery time they worry about each other or run into a piece of the other’s past, how clear it is that they love each other so much) no matter what form it takes. I love this fic a lot and look forward to every chapter! ✦ Y'AIN’T SHIT, WITCH by subtropicalStenella, wolffe & kit & asajj & cast, 1.1k    The Clone Wars: Asajj/Wolffe/Kit Fisto, the fight which costs the Commander his eye. An Explicit Trash Talking No Holds Barred Brawl.    This was a really fun, delightful piece about the clones’ reactions to some footage of a fight between Asajj and some of the brothers, that there’s this great sense of joking around and how of course they have reactions to the crazy shit they see constantly via Force users (and aren’t necessarily immune to it themselves!), just really FUN, hilarious reactions to the wildness of the stuff you see on just another regular day in the GFFA. ✦ Under a purple sun… by Perspicacia, obi-wan & ahsoka, ~1k    Ahsoka hadn’t been happy when Skyguy had left her with Master Kenobi for this mission, but it was still good to spend time with her Grand Master.    I really loved this piece, because Obi-Wan & Ahsoka scenes are always lovely, especially when the fic really does great at showing Ahsoka’s youth and restlessness (that is perfectly normal for her age, something she will grow out of as she ages) against Obi-Wan feeling much more settled, that he teaches her by being both teasing and warm, that there’s little touches of what a Jedi apprentice’s life is like, and it just really, really sparkles. I love the poetry elective, the way Ahsoka doesn’t really get it, until Obi-Wan illustrates something for her, like way to get a straight shot to my teacher!Obi-Wan feelings AND my worldbuilding feelings! ✦ Queen Under the Ocean by BloodyMary, padme, ~1k    Once upon a time, the people of Naboo had elected a queen. She had fought for her people, and she would not be forgotten. People like her did not die–they lived on in stories long after those who knew them had died.    One of the things I always want more of is Padme’s story as Padme’s story, that I want more of her connection to Naboo and how her people saw her. You mix that with a beautiful sense of myth or fairy tale, some lovely imagery, and the sadness of her death touched on just the right amount, and you have a gorgeous piece for her character. ✦ To tell you the truth, I’m relieved by Petra, obi-wan & anakin & death, discworld crossover, ~1k    When you die, you have to walk a desert. Obi-Wan and Anakin are dead, and they’ve been to deserts before.    I would definitely have read at least another 10k of this, of Obi-Wan being settled and focused, while Anakin is just a mess of all the shit he needs to work through (because he never did in life, and because he’s a Forever Mess, that’s just who he is), while the two of them walked across a desert as a way to untangle the knots of their lives and relationship. This is a brief glance at that, as they have a conversation with Death, as Obi-Wan is as good with words as ever, making it a lovely little read that I enjoyed a lot! ✦ Rumour Has It by Ripki, obi-wan & anakin/padme & ahsoka & cast, 5.2k    Rumour has it that the distinguished Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi is seeking a new apprentice after successfully training the Chosen One into Knighthood. The whole Temple seems to be in a flutter of excitement; Anakin, less so. He sets himself the task of reviewing every single one of the hopeful Initiates. After all, it is not just anyone, who can survive being Obi-Wan’s Padawan.    Oh, I loved this fic so very much, it’s so much fun and sharp and hilarious, all the things a premise like this should be, but it’s also warm and heartfelt and really kind of sweet in a “Anakin why are you like this” kind of way, which is exactly what I want. I love that Anakin is such a dweeb when it comes to Obi-Wan, that he’s torn between how Obi-Wan is the best ever and deserves the best Padawan again versus how there’s that underlying sense of how he’s absolutely not ready to let Obi-Wan’s attention move on from him. So he goes about it in the most Anakin way ever, by obsessing over it and kind of terrorizing the poor younglings, while everyone else around him is exasperated. It’s a fic that clearly loves all these characters, that makes me love Anakin Skywalker even more than I did before (because he’s a relatable kind of disaster, not over the top about it, just that he’s not exactly put together) and it has so many great details and a fun sense of timing and then finishes it all off with Obi-Wan finally making Anakin actually talk to him, so I got my Obi-Wan&Anakin feelings in there as well. Honestly, I smile just thinking about this one all over again! ✦ Fire by EwanMcGregorIsMyHomeboy12, obi-wan/satine, NSFW, 1.7k    Between the incident with Tal Merrick on the Coronet and the long ride back to Coruscant, there are plenty of things that a certain Jedi Master and Duchess can get into…    This was a lovely Obitine piece, which is mostly pwp, but in the way I like, that it’s a moment of dramatic intimacy, that it captures their voices and their relationship well, and it’s some satisfying kissing and sex! I really enjoyed the sense of history there between them, that there’s such a connection, while also that they’re not entirely entwined in each others’ lives, that they’re separate, even as they care deeply and share something special, because that’s exactly how I see them in canon, too. A very satisfying piece for a pairing I’m slowly starting to read more for! ✦ Help Me by FireflyFish, obi-wan & anakin, 2.5k    All seemed lost, light, love, and hope. And then Anakin cried out for help…    Oh, this fic gave me all the feelings, that it’s a canon divergence from the fight on Mustafar, where it almost goes like it did in canon, except here Anakin cried out for help and that changed everything. It’s just a few moments in this scene, it’s about this specific moment in time, but it does a beautiful job of showing how it completely changed the tracks of the future, this one tiny thing Anakin could do to change it all, because Obi-Wan could never resist Anakin asking him for help. And it’s gorgeously done in how it doesn’t sweep aside the weight of Anakin’s actions, the betrayal he committed, but it still shows that Obi-Wan loves him even through that, that it may take time, it won’t be easy, but of course he will eventually forgive Anakin in time. It’s a painful read, but in the exact, lovely way it’s supposed to be. ✦ A Good Time by daily_nightly, obi-wan & anakin, 1.4k    A story about a padawan who always gets in trouble and needs his master to rescue him. Typical Anakin Skywalker and Obi-wan Kenobi.    This was a cute little piece about Anakin getting himself captured and needing his Master to rescue him, who of course accomplishes this through the most flirtatious way possible and it’s just solidly fun and a great bite-sized fic to read when you want one! ✦ Hondo Kenobi by StarWarsSyl, obi-wan & hondo & cast, 2.6k    It’s not every day the pirate Hondo calls Obi-Wan in to give him a baby.    This was a cute piece where the highlight of it was JEDI WORLDBUILDING YAY, in which Obi-Wan is given a baby and delivers it to the Temple, trying to find the right place for it, the Force telling him each place wasn’t quite right. I liked the blend of the Force and more mundane ways of organizing things, the clan mothers that Obi-Wan meets along the way, the brief glimpses we get into how warm and adorable Jedi younglings are, it fit really well with what we’ve seen in canon and I’m always here for well done Jedi worldbuilding! ✦ Recovery by Perspicacia, obi-wan & ahsoka & cast, 1.8k    Ahsoka came back alive from her fight with Vader but not exactly in good shape. Bail Organa promptly sent her for some recovery time with one of his most mysterious contacts in the Outer Rim.    I’m very much a sucker for Obi-Wan & Ahsoka interaction in fic and I really liked Ahsoka having a chance to see Obi-Wan again after all that happened in the Jedi Purge, there’s something hopeful in amongst all the hurt that’s been piled onto them, which is what I was hoping for when I picked this one up. It’s a nice look at Ahsoka’s character, a nice look at their relationship, and the hints of how she might be introduced to Qui-Gon and maybe learn a few things, a potential way to pave a future path for her, also delighted me. ✦ Oft Falling by kylohen, obi-wan/padme, NSFW, 10.5k    Every few months, whenever he can, Obi-Wan sends flowers to the Coruscant apartments of Senator Padmé Amidala. There’s a reason for this that he can never explain, except to her. If anyone else knew, it would ruin him.    There’s something really lush and gorgeous about the writing of this piece, which is the real highlight of it. Obi-Wan isn’t really his sharp, focused canon self here (I’m chalking it up to this being set pre-AOTC, but even then I think he’s less focused than he should be) but the descriptions of Naboo, the way the writing gently touches on his connection to the Force and the sort of mystical feel he has as a character, as a psychic space wizard monk, is really lovely. The entire fic felt like a painting come to life in so many ways, that it doesn’t overdo the descriptions, but it’s also very much about those details, the clothes they wear and feel in their hands and the rain on their skin and the buildings they walk past and the food they eat, all of it contributes towards this really intimate, immediate feeling, that they’re the only two people in the world, connected as they are through these things they share. The writing is beautiful and the brief moments of sex, the physical attraction and the way Padme is described as he sees her in the garden in an intimate moment, are all also beautiful and really hot. I don’t often go for this pairing, but there’s something really entrancing about the way this was written, almost like a dream, and I really enjoyed it for that! ✦ To lay your heart and head upon by ambiguously, ahsoka/barriss, 1.5k    Ahsoka is on a mission when she runs into an old friend.    Oh, this was a lovely piece about Ahsoka and Barriss meeting again, just this one moment of the intersection of their lives and we can only guess where they go from here, but it’s that feeling of hope in the darkness again, that they’ve both suffered so much, and that, oh, my beautiful Ahsoka, she may not be a Jedi, but she certainly has the heart of one and it’s beautifully done here. OBI-WAN/ANAKIN RECS: ✦ Equinox by lilyconrad, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, sith!obi-wan (sort of), d/s, 84.1k wip    During the Clone Wars, Obi-Wan and Anakin crash on a remote planet and take shelter in the ruins of a grand estate only to find they are not alone.    Chapter 17: This is an update rec and will focus on this chapter, rather than the fic as a whole. Also, by this point there will be spoilers for the entire fic and likely this chapter as well! I have feelings and I need to talk about them! So, this is another chapter that sort of scrambled my thoughts because there’s so many little details I loved and for the ridiculously satisfying sex that happens and the big plot stuff that comes up, I hardly know where to begin! At the beginning, I suppose, which is a brief scene between Veris and Isten (after Anakin destroyed the datapads in a fit of pique), where it’s this quiet moment between them, where we get to see Isten’s jealousy, the brattiness that’s somehow so charming, one of those moments where it’s a little bit childish, but in a way that shows his vulnerability, so that I can see how much of Anakin Skywalker is still woven into the foundations of this character, but also how he’s different, like it’s not quite Anakin, but it’s definitely an Anakin, which just makes me fall in love with him all over again. When he’s rattled, he gets petulant, when he thinks he has to share Veris’ attention even for a moment, he gets sullen, when he’s uneasy about just how powerful the real Anakin is, even more than both him and Veris (which I love, by the way, because, yesss, nobody is ever as powerful as Anakin Skywalker), it’s so very easy to see Anakin’s face saying those things, to picture a version of Anakin being upset by these very things, and makes the contrast (or, well, frankly, comparison) against actual Anakin all the more intriguing for it, because they’re not that different in a lot of important ways–and that’s what this whole chapter is about, how much they both need reassurance and attention focused on them. And having that brief moment with Isten, as much as I enjoy it just for being charming, leads into what’s going on with Obi-Wan and Anakin as well.    We go from Isten and Veris curled up together to Anakin and Obi-Wan spending time in a little clearing, just laying together and talking (in conversations that aren’t terribly different to each other–but both are also adorable, Obi-Wan and Anakin’s banter is both sharp and adorable! I love the snappiness of the conversation about the bike, but that it’s also used to show that, yes, Obi-Wan does pay attention to him) in a quiet moment that’s just for them. For all that there’s a plot going on with this story, it’s also very much structured to be an intimate drama story, they’re isolated on this planet, it’s just them and themselves (of a sort), so these quiet moments between the characters are the journey, they’re what make the story worth reading. Also, they’re just really, really charming as all get out, as they go from sweet and teasing and content to the way they touch hands, that I can feel the shift in the air, as Obi-Wan gently touches his hands, contrasted against the memory of how brutal they can be in war. And the way the entire scene is sweet and kind and comforting, even while the building sex takes on some slightly rough edges (in ways that they both aim for) is perfect to what has been built between these characters–that’s the other appeal of the fic and I find that every time they come together physically, it really highlights how this relationship has been built in this fic, that they’ve spent time together, they’ve overcome obstacles together, that they keep revealing new pieces of themselves that the situation has brought up, that this sex scene couldn’t have taken place in a previous chapter, it couldn’t have been their first time, because it shows how much trust has been built, how much Anakin has been able to show the darker parts of himself and what he wants.    And, oh, the sex was beautiful, because it was the kind that pleased my id (I had no idea the spanking moments were coming, only that it would have some bondage, so that kind of sent me into happy orbit maybe kind of a lot) but also because this fic does such a gorgeous job of balancing the physical with the emotional. Yes, it’s super hot that Anakin kneels in the grass and has his hands bound behind his back and is bent over, taking whatever Obi-Wan will give him, but it’s also about how Anakin feels about this, how it’s very clear to both of them that this is what he wants every step of the way, that there’s something freeing for him in being able to give this trust to someone else, that he can get out of it any time he wants, but there’s a freedom in letting it go. There’s peace for Anakin here, someone who so very desperately needs it. And the fic doesn’t just immediately have him sink into submission, because that’s not who Anakin is, he has to work at it–the moments of Obi-Wan standing over him and watching him, noting the way Anakin’s gaze keeps flickering back up to him, the way he’s still very much Anakin working through something, that goes hand in hand with how wary Obi-Wan is about all of this, because he doesn’t want to hurt Anakin. That it shows Anakin wants this, rather than that it’s something alien stealing over him! Just let me lay here and breathe that in for awhile, as it’s beautifully perfect for both of them, because it shows how these characters would move towards this kind of dynamic, how they would have to work to get there, how thesecharacters would express their wariness and consent and desire about putting Anakin in this position. But every little happy sigh Anakin gives when Obi-Wan puts a hand in his hair or the way they can feel the rise and roil of Anakin’s lust when Obi-Wan binds his hands behind his back and how Anakin keeps asking for more and more, all of that shows that this is what he very much wants.    That doesn’t make it perfect, he’s still anxious, he still slams the bond shut when sending over a secret desire, still feels like he might be judged for what how helpless he is–and the fic is beautifully clear (without having to say it, you just feel it in every moment, every word they both say or think) that it’s Anakin’s own fears that he’s working through here, his own demons that he’s struggling to let go of, that it’s not about whether or not he has been rejected by Obi-Wan before, but that he still fears it, even now. Because that’s something that will stay with him for a long time and I love that it’s woven into this scene as well, not in a way that feels like a retread of what’s already happened, but that it’s something to be slowly chipped away at, which is exactly how that kind of thing works. That each time they come together like this, Anakin lets go of a sliver more of it, that Obi-Wan makes him be patient, that turning more of himself over to Obi-Wan lets the rest of the world fade into the background, there’s just this moment in his head, and it’s almost blissful for me to read how settled he is right here. Which is all the more satisfying for how it’s not a smooth, straight line–Anakin comes and goes with that peace. He starts to sink into that haze, to trust everything of himself to Obi-Wan, but then has a moment of being too worried or too honest about how he’s coming across, pulled back into that sharp anxiety, until Obi-Wan accepts him and continues to adore him. So when Anakin’s secret, hidden desire almost surfaces, he tries to hide it, but Obi-Wan sharply tells him to say it, and it’s that he wants to be punished, wants to have his Master’s attention on him and his disobedience forgiven by having it spanked out of him? Oh, shit, that was hot and got me right in the feelings place.    All of the sex was like that, having Anakin in this position was satisfying on a physical level, but when Obi-Wan says to tell him what he’s done to deserve this, it’s this moment of Anakin’s scrambled thoughts just pouring out all that stuff that he feels so guilty about, that he doesn’t listen, that he’s selfish and arrogant, that he doesn’t deserve Obi-Wan, all these things that haunt him even when he tries to deny that they exist. This moment is purging them out of Anakin, this moment is Obi-Wan truly seeing Anakin and accepting him, desiring him, and moving in sync with him, his hand coming sharply down on Anakin again and again, no judgement, just acknowlegement and a desire rising between them. That, yes, this is a lot about Anakin’s issues (because he’s the one that has so many of them) but that Obi-Wan isn’t just a passive presence here, he worries about how this will affect Anakin, he wants to put down these boundaries and structure and punishment/absolution for Anakin, he hungers for this beautiful man who is bent over and turned up against Obi-Wan’s hand, who has shown him this vulnerability and is the most precious person Obi-Wan has ever known. I almost didn’t even need the rest of the sex (that’s a lie, I absolutely did need it!), because the emotional buildup was so delicious, but when Obi-Wan finally pushes into him, how much Obi-Wan was possessive of this man who had given himself in such a vulnerable way (because one of the hills I will die on is that Obi-Wan’s Type is about those who are vulnerable underneath their bluster, the kind that he wants to help protect, to give them what would help them and make them feel safe and happy), it’s so good. It’s been built up over the last 80k, it’s been stoked from hidden embers into a fire, how much Obi-Wan has him, that Anakin is his, just as much as Anakin wants Obi-Wan in return. It’s not jumped into immediately, it took time to get there, but when Obi-Wan is finally buried into that pretty heat of Anakin’s and thinks how much his boy is his? This fic earned it.    And I’m still only just past the halfway mark on the chapter! (I know, I know, but NSFW chapters of this fic really bring out the verbosity in me and I like to run with that.) Because there’s a lovely, sweet scene afterwards, such care from Obi-Wan, who wants to make sure that Anakin is all right, because there’s not precisely guilt here but always a wariness (a deserved one, given that this is Anakin) and a recognition that, while Anakin is balanced in this moment (that he’s been able to acknowledge and let go of so much that he held inside! of course it would come via Obi-Wan giving him these boundaries and structure) it won’t last, it never does with him, but that makes it no less wonderful in this moment or no less absolutely amazing that they’ve gotten here in the first place. And I love that, I love that it took 80k of them being stranded in the middle of nowhere, their Sith versions (of a sort) there to stir up things they normally wouldn’t have time to look at, no war to pull them away from dealing with these things, and this is where they get. This is what I love about them–their problems are both internal and external, but I firmly believe that it was the external problems that kept them from dealing with the internal ones, so seeing a novel-length fic about getting them to where they have the space to deal with the internal ones and they do? Yes, no wonder I’ve practically written half a novel in response to the fic. (There’s a moment in the next scene, where Anakin thinks, Nothing ever changes here. The same forest. Same weather. Same stars. and I side-eye it as part of whatever Ugly is doing to this place, but it also fits with how I have seen this fic from the beginning–it’s a place almost out of time, which allows for all those external problems to fade into the background and thus let them focus on the internal problems that they are capable of clearing away. That the two–like so very many things in this fic do–go hand in hand together!)    There’s still more, of course, and the chapter ends on a killer cliffhanger (ONLY ONE CHAPTER LEFT HOW AM I GOING TO DEAL WITH THE END OF IT??) and I love the little details of the bigger world intruding with Rex’s call–that Anakin is more settled now that he has more proof of the depth of Obi-Wan’s feelings, that Isten still isn’t happy about being parted from Veris and turns into his embrace to hide from it, that part of Obi-Wan would still like to just be rid of the Sith duo, but he holds himself to better standards because they’ve done nothing to deserve that. That it’s this complicated knot of his own personal morals versus his discomfort with them, made all the worse by how he doesn’t think he could strike down someone with Anakin’s face. Which is truly about Anakin, but also makes me think of Obi-Wan and Isten’s moments together, that even when they’re different versions, there’s still something of Obi-Wan and Anakin in their interactions. The way both duos sleep curled up against each other (which I love purely for iddy reasons in addition to the more narrative reasons) really highlights that, too.    And then the ending. Anakin with his dream (oh, Anakin, of course you fall asleep because you think nothing can get past you and your ridiculous power levels) that’s this beautiful, dark, gothic dream about flowers and the desert and a voice calling for him, and a garden of bones that he can’t quite seem to find to matter. All of which is really creepy, dreamy imagery that works so well for this fic (there really is a rich, lush feeling to the imagery used, the fic is really good at knowing when and how to use it! I love the use of the heavy flowers that I can practically feel the soft yet weighty feel of in my hand, the rich color of them against the black backdrop, it makes for beautiful pictures in my head) and you know exactly what some of those things mean and are left wondering and puzzling over others (in the way you’re supposed to be left wondering) and I lovethat, too. And while I cannot wait for the next chapter (THAT CLIFFHANGER, which comes out of nowhere for Anakin, except it really doesn’t, something has always been waiting, and, oh, it was so creepy to have his dream and the mansion come back up again, the little details, like with the descriptions of the relief on the wall, make it shivery and terrible, that sense of something almost elegant about the darkness that was waiting for him) I’m also really satisfied by this chapter and just very, very much in love with this fic. ✦ all spaces are liminal by Kierkegarden, obi-wan/anakin & sidious, & cast, nsfw, sith!obi-wan, 35.9k    Three years after the fall of the Republic, Obi-Wan Kenobi hasn’t come any closer to making peace with his new life. Three years after the fall of the Republic, Vader wants the gratification of forgiveness. Three years after the fall of the Republic, time doesn’t bend or break or alter. It simply rushes past those who cannot learn to embrace it.    I read this fic in just about two or three sittings because I really could not put it down, it just swept me up in it and carried me along and wouldn’t let me go until I was finished with it! It’s an AU where Vader finds Obi-Wan on Tatooine five years after ROTS and decides he wants to try to make his former Master Fall, but of course it doesn’t go as he plans. And it’s a fic that’s exactly the right length for what it is, that there’s a balance between the intimate drama (where it might as well be just the two of them in the entire galaxy, that nothing else really exists in their little bubble) and the looming events of the bigger plot (Sidious lurking in the background, the Rebellion that they eventually make their way to), so it satisfied both my want for something with plot and my desire to just read about these two characters who are trying so hard to put everything to rest just enough to give them some breathing room. And I love that it never really goes away, that even when Obi-Wan loves Anakin, he cannot forget what’s happened, that there’s no going back, only forwards. That even when they find balance, even when they are intertwined again, those bad things can never be fully banished.    Which is also what makes the thread of Anakin redemption work so well here, that he’s really trying, that it’s also balanced between Anakin still being a mess, wanting redemption only for halfway the right reason (because it’s a lot about Obi-Wan, just as much as it is an internal want), and that it’s not something so easily granted. It’s complicated and can never be wiped away. But also! Anakin Skywalker: Wants An Emperor To Follow, the way he can be so stubborn and aggressive, but it’s layered over this lifelong desperate desire to have someone to follow, to lead the path to taming the galaxy, that he can be guided by, that when you strip away the things Anakin tries to make himself be or the swirling storm of rage that takes over his brain sometimes, what he really wants is his Master back, both because he loves Obi-Wan and because he wants to follow him. It’s threaded underneath the plot of the story, which made it so satisfying for me to read.    And I didn’t realize that, going into this fic, it was going to be Sith!Obi-Wan (apparently I skimmed the tags, so that’s on me XD) but I did really enjoy it here, because the only way I can ever be convinced that Obi-Wan might possibly fall, is if it’s for Anakin, that he would be walking toward something, not breaking from the loss. Because that’s exactly how this fic sees Obi-Wan, that when he’s Anakin’s captive, he’s resolute and iron willed, but when something bad happens to Anakin, that’s when he steps over the line, when that rage and fear are focused on this person that he loves so much. It worked for me, Obi-Wan going from this person who is so good, this person who has unbreakable morals, to this version of a Fallen!Obi-Wan, that it’s probably kinda Soft Sith (which you will pry from my cold, dead hands!) and that works the best.    It also has a lot of things that worked really well within the story–a satisfying confrontation with Sidious about all of this, a fun plot where they join the Rebellion for awhile, a lovely sex scene where Anakin is just starved for Obi-Wan’s touch, no matter how much it hurts his partially burned body, he will take anything to have his Master touch him, no matter the pain, until Obi-Wan turns him over onto his hands and knees and steadily fucks into him that way, that it’s not just the physical part (though, that was very nice, Anakin getting that contact, getting that noise pushed out of his head because he’s filled with other things), but that it was wound together with the emotional beats, that it was used to show that quiet intimate drama between them, to show the state of their relationship, made it all the better.    I really enjoyed this fic, it was one of those that was this lovely experiencereading it, there was something very emotional about it (not over the top dramatic emotional, but an underlying quiet emotional way that was ever-present, that it was a mix of mutual pining, but also mutual “not being sure how to be with this person anymore” and mutual “I love him so much that being parted from him one more time is impossible to live without, I cannot do it again”, all of this without being hammered home with words, but instead shown through their actions, the tension between them, but also the way they stayed near each other, the way they looked at each other, the way they touched each other). It was exactly the kind of read I wanted from this fandom! ✦ Return to the Point of No Return by cthene, obi-wan/anakin, time travel, touch starved, 26.7k    He turns around, his tunic soaked with blood, and holds the gorgon’s head up by its wispy hair. “Anakin, please-” “Don’t beg me, Master,” says the last of the Sith, tenderly reaching to cup Obi Wan’s hot cheek with a gore-stained hand. “Command me.”    I cannot talk about this fic without some vague spoilers, to talk about the bit of a twist the concept of the fic has, so while I think it’s still totally a readable rec to someone who hasn’t read it yet, I do want to warn for that! Okay! There are a couple of caveats to this fic, in that it writes the Jedi as celibate and chaste and "no love allowed at all” in a way that directly contradicts canon, as well as I will never believe that Obi-Wan doesn’t know exactly when he’s flirting and that he was handsome as hell, but if you can roll with those things (and it’s pretty warm-hearted about them!) you’ll get a fic that’s super engaging and fun to read and satisfying. Because this fic just kind of lit up my brain in the way that I wanted to give it a high five, where Anakin comes back and he’s really more Vader than he is Anakin, but Vader is Anakin, and I really felt that in the story, that his issues stem from taking Anakin Skywalker’s issues up to a hundred, then dumping him into touch starvation mode and further dialing up his desperation to have someone to follow, someone to devote himself to, someone to tell him what to do, someone to take care of him, in all his murderous fury and unfair ragings.    The thing that was so great is that it didn’t ignore just how volatile and powerful and dangerous that Vader is here, but it also understood where that volalitly came from, that Anakin Skywalker is a giant walking bottomless pit of need and hunger, that he’ll sacrifice anything, no matter how much he wants to be part of the bigger galactic events, no matter how much he wants to just do what he wants to do, he’ll throw it all away for the touch of the person he loves, for them to fill him up with love. And he finally knows that about himself. Well, half-knows it. Knows it enough to tell Obi-Wan that he needs someone with a stronger hand than what he’s been given so far, someone who will commandhim and love him at the same time. That was so goddamned satisfying. And Obi-Wan reacts to this in a very understandable way, there’s something there that pulls at him, but also he has a bigger galaxy to think of and that informs his choices, that he’s lived his life once and he’ll do again what needs to be done (whatever that might be) but that it’s complicated.    And so when the fic is really ultimately about Anakin being locked away, that the greater theme of this fic (both before that and after) is about how these two characters feel like the only ones left in the world, that the time travel has isolated them from anyone but each other, that even literally they are the only two people they can feel in the Force, that’s just super well done and so satisfying. Anakin being willing to give up even his bigger plans for Obi-Wan to touch him again (because it’s such a marvel, it’s something he can’t believe he’d forgotten about, that perhaps he’d been made to forget, but also that the wayObi-Wan touches him is incredible), to desperately wrap arms and legs around Obi-Wan, not even necessarily wanting sex, just wanting to feel his Master’s touch, wanting to be consumed by feelings, it’s really well balanced with how intense and unbalanced he is, but that there’s something charismatic and magnetic about him, even when he’s really kind of so, so awful.    The whole fic is like this low-key d/s scenario and these characters flinging themselves into co-dependency because they do keep each other grounded and it’s the most important relationship in either of their lives, which makes it super satisfying to ship, because it hits all those iddy places (Anakin recognizing that he’s Anakin again, when he throws fits that are this close to being tantrums, when the power level he has is genuinely terrifying, when he wants so badly for Obi-Wan to just hold him down and be his Master again, even has he fights against it, so much conflict wrapped up in that stellar, brilliant idiot) but also plays on traits that Anakin has, that explores his character really well. Anakin was the highlight of this fic for me, it just got me right back into everything I felt about this idiot who has more power and anger than he knows what to do with, but also a praise kink and undercurrent of a sub kink a mile wide, it got me right in the feelings place every time he would wrap arms and legs around his Master to try to keep him there, would just settle any time Obi-Wan would grab his hair or kiss him. Yes, make the murder boy happy, okay!! ✦ My Moon After the Tide by LemonTwister, obi-wan/anakin & cast, NSFW, some d/s, 38.8k    After being inflicted with a paralytic toxin, Anakin is unable to care for himself until he recovers. Obi-Wan promises to provide his Padawan with everything he needs.    This is another fic that I just could not put down because it hit my iddy wants just so very nicely! I do have a couple of caveats–it veers briefly into “Jedi aren’t allowed feelings” territory (though, it’s very brief and contradicted by how there’s a very thorough point being made about how attachments are dangerous because of exactly what’s happening with them, as well as they show their feelings right from the beginning) and Mace is more antagonistic than he is in canon, but they’re small moments in an otherwise solidly long fic that is exactlywhat it aims to be: A fun story about mutual pining even while they’re together and some goddamned fantastic sex. This is a story that whole-heartedly embraces that sort of nostalgic feeling I have for why I first started reading fic in the first place, that feeling that gets straight at my feelings being ramped up to eleventy over these characters and how much I want them to be together and the embracing of the tropes that keep them apart (that Anakin is his student–though, he’s 19 or 20 here, so he’s very much an adult–that there’s so much internal drama over the emotions, that they have to slog through their misunderstandings of where the other person stands, etc.) and it’s so much fun.    This fic really had a way of keeping me sailing right along, so that it hardly felt like an almost 40k fic, because it did so well with exploring the central roadblocks between Obi-Wan and Anakin getting together, it was one of those that was just easy to slide right into again every time I picked it up because it had such a charm to the writing of it, it was smooth and solid and easy. And it was stuff I loved! Anakin being paralyzed from poison, so he can’t move and needs someone to take care of him! That they both kind of revel in it, even when there are thornier issues that come up because of it, what they both want from it and why they do/don’t hold back. And, oh, the undercurrent of this fic, where Obi-Wan tries so hard to respect Anakin’s agency, because he’s trying to be so very aware of not putting Anakin under his thumb, not just ordering him around, that there’s this tension because Anakin does want his Master to just take him already, to do what he’s going to do, to take firm hold of Anakin and fuck him already. To the point that he gets frustrated and a little angry when Obi-Wan won’t just do it, because Obi-Wan keeps asking him what he wants. And that’s what I’m here for, I’m here for Anakin Skywalker not really knowing how to express that he wants this specific thing, that he wants to be loved and cherished and touched and guided. He wants Obi-Wan to tell him what to do, to put him where Obi-Wan wants him, wants to be filled up with him instead of his own annoying, buzzing thoughts. And it’s never really directly remarked on too much, instead it’s just there, it’s shown through frustration and understated words and satisfaction when Anakin finally gets what he wants.    Because, oh, the sex in this fic is fantastic for me, where the first time Obi-Wan opens Anakin up with his fingers, asking if this is what Anakin did to himself, how many did he usually fit in, while questing inside of Anakin, it was ridiculously smoking hot. Because Anakin got off on being held in place, having his Master’s hand inside him, having those fingers rubbing the right spot and undoing his thoughts and asking him these personal questions while just prying him open, emotionally and physically. He craved that kind of closeness. Or the next time when Obi-Wan pushes his legs back so he’s up in the air and rims the hell out of him, that sense of being held still, having to just take what his Master gives him, because that’s what he’s always wanted, to be taken apart like that! Or when Obi-Wan finally, finally fucks into him, when they’re finally joined in that manner, Anakin is this giant mess of emotions and wants and desires, that this is everything he wanted! I am here for that again and again, because it’s never enough for this needy idiot that I love so much.    So this is one of those fics for when you’re in the mood for something to really please you, something that will walk right up to your id and embrace it, something when you want a fun romp with a ton of charisma! It has some plot to it, it has a really lovely OC Jedi who fits right in with the Jedi of canon, it’s incredibly warm-hearted (and really ultimately nicely kind to nearly everyone!), and is nearly 40k of Obi-Wan and Anakin being ridiculously in love with each other and wading through those feelings in a way they both needed to work through, until they get where they need to be, making the whole fic just one of the most satisfying I’ve read in awhile. I think that’s the feeling I keep walking away with, that made me write like four paragraphs for a rec–I was so satisfiedby this fic, which I cannot thank it enough for. ✦ starbird by imaginarykat, obi-wan/anakin, 8.8k    As far as Anakin’s concerned, Obi-Wan is the picture of a perfect Jedi.    I’m pretty sure I’ve recommended this fic before, but I wanted to do a reread of it because I remember it being one of my favorite portrayals of the Obi-Wan/Anakin dynamic, that it really spoke to me and sung for me, so I wanted to see if it held up. And it very much does, I still think this is one of the best intro-to-Obikin fics I could suggest. There’s a lot of great stuff that’s going on under the surface here, that it’s how these characters work, that Anakin really has no chill, so Obi-Wan tries to chill him out and poke at him in understated ways, how he’s direct in all the right moments and indirect in all the other right moments. There’s a strength and focus to Obi-Wan’s character that is spot on to the canon, there’s such fondness for Anakin in everything he says and does, in that way you feel down to your bones, even if it’s just from a smile or a teasing comment. And what really gets me with Anakin–aside from how there’s this sense of how his anxieties and fears and doubts just cling to him, like a cloak settled over his shoulders–is that he’s absolutely boggled by Obi-Wan’s actions sometimes, despite that they’re perfectly in character for him, that there’s the undercurrent of how Anakin sometimes gets lost in his own perceptions of the galaxy that aren’t quite true. This is why the dinner scene is probably my favorite, the one I always think of first when I think of this fic. That there’s such a great, flirty dynamic between them that fits with how they are in canon, how it could almost be gen for how well it fits, and yet there’s still something more. There’s just a slight change in the undercurrent, the way Anakin thinks about Obi-Wan and looks at him (though, I would argue could fit with the canon), that makes this piece really shine, gives it a sharpness that makes my favorite of the author’s, even over the more famous fic. It’s just gorgeously written and hits my id just right and illustrates why I ship these two so hard and how there’s that solidity to these characters, especially Obi-Wan, that’s so genuinely good. ✦ To Lose My Mind and Find My Soul by Glare, obi-wan/anakin & cast, fairy tale au, 3.2k wip    Anakin Skywalker was born and raised in Jedha, and has not known anything of the world beyond the superstitions of his isolated village. He is not allowed past the boundaries of the village, is not allowed to walk the path through the wood that leads to the world beyond, but sometimes he finds himself slipping away anyways, inexplicably drawn to the forest and the monstrous creature that stalks it.    I love fairy tale themed AUs! And while this one is only the first chapter so far, I’m already delighted by it and would love to see more of it, that it really captures a sense of mysterious woods and a monster who haunts them, a sense of the supernatural with a beautiful backdrop. Honestly, as I was reading it, I couldn’t stop thinking about something like the woods from anime series like Mononoke or Mushishi, something otherworldly living right next to the human world, something old and not quite understood, maybe friendly, maybe dangerous, you can never quite tell. It’s a lovely start and I’m looking forward to more of it! ✦ Eyes Wide Like Cherry Pies by Darlings (FromDreamstoEmpires), FromDreamstoEmpires, obi-wan/anakin & padme & cast, NSFW, modern au, 6.7k wip    Anakin is a typical struggling college student studying art. Obi-Wan is a successful lawyer he meets one night through Padme and Staine. He doesn’t think he’ll ever see him again but neither of them can deny their attraction to each other.    Chapter 2: This is an update rec and will focus on this chapter, rather than the fic as a whole. This is another chapter in this fic that just goes straight for what I want–the start of a sugar baby AU where Anakin is a mess and Ben is charmed by this adorable guy and then flirt some more, there’s some lap-sitting, and then they go home and fuck for a second time, where Ben nicely rims him for awhile and denies him the chance to come (edging Anakin to teach him patience and really help along that shorting out of his anxious thoughts! gimme that for always!) until finally he fucks into Anakin, like they’ve both been wanting. It’s one of those fics that appeals to what I want from it, that sometimes I just want to read some fluff in a modern AU where they can just bang it out until I feel better, and this fic happily does that for me, it just whole-heartedly embraces all the tropes I enjoy (Anakin being greedy and desperate for more, Obi-Wan adoring him but making him wait so that it shorts out his awful thoughts, the mild d/s undercurrents to their interactions, Anakin’s cock being left untouched because he’d come too quickly if it was, Anakin tightening around him as he comes, all things I love) and just satisfies me. This chapter was such a treat for me and it just made me happy and I need all the fic I can get that will make me happy! ✦ Last breath by Arctii, obi-wan/anakin & cast, 7.9k wip    Anakin leaves. Obi-Wan decides, reluctantly, knowing it’s probably not the smartest thing he has done, to try and track him down. That, surprisingly, proves to be a difficult task. Especially since there are so many realisations he doesn’t want to face, and since Anakin seemingly does everything he can to disappear.    I’m often wary of picking up fic like this, where Obi-Wan or Anakin decide to leave the Jedi, because it’s hard to get that right and keep them in character, but I wound up sucked into this one and really enjoyed the five chapters that are here, because it knows exactly what to focus on–that mutual pining that’s delicous and the most fun to read about! Anakin just disappearing without notice, then Obi-Wan just unable to stop thinking about him, and the near misses they have when they almost meet up again, both of them wanting to see the other, Anakin being an absolute mess, while Obi-Wan is reasonably well put together but misses him? Yes, that’s what I’m here for. I’m really enjoying Anakin’s grief and how much of a disaster he is, because of course he is, and the fic definitely knows how to keep me interested even while making me wait for them to finally find each other again. Well, for Obi-Wan to finally pin that little shit down, but same difference! ✦ Star Birth by thatsakitkat, obi-wan/anakin & cast, NSFW, a/b/o, dark themes, 7k wip    “Am I going to die, Master?” Anakin asks. Obi-Wan looks at him sharply. “No. You will not die, Anakin.” “I’m burning,” Anakin says. He blinks slowly and strains to concentrate. “You set me on fire.”    You should definitely read the warnings on this fic, it’s a darker look at the characters and the trope of a/b/o in fic, which I find has to be done carefully for my personal tastes, but I read this one and am definitely greatly intrigued by it. One of the things that helped me is that it notes right upfront that the Jedi here aren’t like they are in canon, which allowed that voice in the back of my head to just shut up about how this isn’t how the Jedi actually are and just roll with them being more awful here (though, if you’re sensitive to that like me, heads up that it will likely play more of a role as the fic goes on!) and instead I focused on what the story was actually about. Because it’s a fic about omega!Anakin burning up with his first heat, that it’s actually a legit terrifying thing for someone who has such a strong connection to the Force and so much power and so little control of himself normally, much less when he’s in the middle of a fever this intense. It was this really satisfying dive into Anakin being just out of it, this sense of how worrying that really was, how much he was suffering through this, and how very much Obi-Wan cared about him, how much he felt the pull towards him, how intensely protective of Anakin he was, and how this is really worrying and unsettling and dangerous.    It’s a difficult situation because Anakin can so very, very easily hurt other people around him, but also taking him out of a structured environment can hurt him as well, that Obi-Wan has to try to balance what’s best for Anakin versus what’s best for everyone, that the two don’t always overlap, and that this is not an easy problem with a simple solution. It’s a much harsher world for the a/b/o dynamics, but there’s something really super engaging about the set-up here, the way Obi-Wan and Anakin interact with each other. Part of it is my iddy enjoyment of the trope and their co-depending dynamic, but part of it is also that there’s something surprisingly warm here even when they’re suffering, even when terrible things are done. ✦ Tumblr Prompt Drabbles by Adelphrexia, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, various themes, ~1k wip (sort of)    A collection of Obikin drabble requests originally posted on my Tumblr. Mostly smut, any warnings will be posted on the chapter they apply to.    Pretty much exactly what it says on the tin, this is a nice little collection of porny snippets, for when you’re in the mood for some resolution! With all the gen or low-rated fic I’ve been reading lately, sometimes I just really need some “getting straight to the point” sex snippets and these gave me some ridiculously hot imagery and thus satisfying for exactly what I wanted from it! ✦ The Team by writegowrite, obi-wan/anakin, human au, mafia au, ~1k    Behind a warehouse long abandoned by everything but rats, beneath a blue sky smudged brown by pollution, a pristine black Mercedes sat idling like a wraith.    I really love the idea of Mafia AUs (as the author’s notes say, it’s basically a Sith AU with three piece suits!) and there’s some gorgeous imagery here (“a pristine black Mercedes sat idling like a wraith” is one of my favorite pieces of description I’ve read in awhile!) and this really lovely intimate moment of Obi-Wan thinking about Anakin, as he’s off doing some dirty work. It’s a neat way to map Anakin’s desire to be the Knight to someone else’s leader, to work in all those monstrous things he’s capable of, while also keeping Obi-Wan’s refined point of view. I like that it doesn’t need to be more than what it is, even though I’d have read another 50k or more of it, and it ends on a really lovely image as well, which says so much about who Anakin Skywalker is, with just a few words. ✦ Almost Lost by aphorisnt, obi-wan/anakin & kix, 3k    Anakin gets injured and Obi-Wan does not handle it well.    This was a very nice piece of Anakin whump and Obi-Wan actually handles it reasonably well, just not for Obi-Wan because, you know, it’s Anakin. I really enjoyed that this was just whole-heartedly embracing the hurt/comfort trope, that Anakin gets hurt, Obi-Wan’s thoughts get scrambled because he cares so much about this person, so there’s a lot of waiting and restlessness, and then everything breaks open from there. It was one of those fics that just really scratched an itch I had for this kind of thing, it was just so solidly satisfying for that! ✦ i didn’t want this thing called living by dorenamryn, obi-wan/anakin, 4.8k wip (sort of)    Alternatively: Obi-wan’s heart is forever shattered, and Anakin always burns. (A collection of ficlets cataloguing the tragedy of two lives both before and after the fall that was never supposed to happen.)    This is a collection of various ficlets, set at different points in their lives, sometimes when they’re fighting during the Clone War, sometimes after Mustafar has happened, sometimes things are a mix of bittersweet and hopeful, sometimes things are just sad, and it’s a lovely set of pieces that gave me a lot of feelings about how much was ruined between them, how much it hurts because it was good once upon a time. Another fic of “please stop punching me in the feelings (no, don’t, it’s really good)”! ✦ Tumblr Prompts by Darlings (FromDreamstoEmpires), obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, d/s, 6.6k (each chapter is separate)    A collection of prompts that I’ve filled on Tumblr.    I think I may have recommended this collection before? But I wanted to make a special rec for Chapter 4: He Hurt Me (And It Felt Like True Love), because it’s 2.7k by itself and because it was based on a prompt of mine and, boy, is it one of those fics that I enjoyed because it just gleefully embraces the tropes and iddiness of it, that it just goes right for Emperor!Sith!Obi-Wan who binds Anakin and fucks the noise out of his head, like it knows what I want from fic when I need some resolution after all the other non-shippy fic/novels I’ve been reading. It’s nicely satisfying sex, it’s Obi-Wan teaching Anakin patience through sex and making him wait to come and domming the hell out of him before finally fucking into him and blanking out Anakin’s mind. Listen. Listen, I am always here for that, okay. And this one was just fun and hit me exactly as it was supposed to! ✦ WANTED: DEAD OR ALIVE by anecdotalist, obi-wan/anakin & cast, 13k wip    War has broken out between the Republic and the Separatists. But that is of no concern to Ben, one of the best bounty hunters in the galaxy. All he’s focused on is his next target…until he’s invited to a tournament of hunters on Serenno. There, he meets a young Jedi Knight—the Hero With No Fear, Anakin Skywalker—who’s disguised as bounty hunter Rako Hardeen.    Chapters 3-4: I keep meaning to let this fic build up for a bit more (because every time I read it, I get to the end of the chapter and desperately want more!) but I can never resist, I have to read it pretty much right away, because it’s so goddamned charming, there’s such a charisma to the interactions between Ben and Anakin here, you can feel the chemistry they have with each other! I’m enjoying the set-up, I really like the way these characters’ lives are different in this universe, that Ben has so many elements of Obi-Wan (that sharpness and focus and presence especially!) and that Anakin has so many elements of his canon self (kind of a mess, leads with his feelings, so much talent with his skills!), so that the instant connection between them makes perfect sense to me, they just somehow vibe on each other, that all versions of them always will.    It helps that the writing is really sharp, that the attraction between them (even while they know they should be wary, Anakin especially just can’t help being wildly attracted to Ben and WITH GOOD REASON) and that Ben is an incredible bounty-hunter, I love that I’m sure the underlying meaning is that he’s Force-sensitive and lightly tapping into those abilities without knowing it, but it’s still really hot when he’s sniping targets from so far away or leading the other bounty hunters in an obstacle course or refusing to back down in front of Dooku, but without being a hot head about it. No wonder Anakin is all hot and bothered, it’s clear that he’s brilliant himself but Ben is just really, really hot and really, really good at what he does, and so it makes their natural chemistry work. And I lovethat Anakin continues to be absolute shit at flirting, if Obi-Wan Kenobi couldn’t teach him that in canon, no one could. Seeing Obi-Wan all cool and collected, while Anakin is a mess? Yes, gimme that combination always, it never gets old! I love that there’s also a plot going on, I’m genuinely intrigued by it, the mission they’re assigned to, whatever happened in the past with Qui-Gon, what’s going on with Palpatine, all of that, but also the charm of these two is so well done that I can’t help it, I want more of them in this universe! ✦ My Anakin by DonkerRood, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, bondage, some d/s, 1.1k    Obi-Wan is back from a mission and realizes Anakin always gets what he wants.    This was a lovely piece that I picked up for the sexy times and the tying Anakin up, but wound up enjoying it just as much for the “fuck the noise out of Anakin Skywalker’s head” aspect, that it was about Obi-Wan trying to find the balance of their relationship, because Anakin is so needy, that it’s next to impossible to resist him when he’s begging Obi-Wan for more. That it’s about getting Anakin to a better headspace, that this helps settle and calm him, just as much as it’s about the soft touches and comfort Anakin gets from being tied up and loved, that it’s about Obi-Wan teaching Anakin a bit of patience before finallyfucking him properly and I’m just so very here for that. ORIGINAL TRILOGY RECS: ✦ Master and Padawan by Katharos, obi-wan & luke & cast, 15.5k wip    What if Luke was raised by Obi-Wan as his Padawan?    This was a fic written post-TPM, but pre-AOTC or ROTS, so a lot of stuff is going to be different here, but it doesn’t really matter that much, because it’s a story about Obi-Wan raising Luke, halfway as his son and halfway as his apprentice, in a story that’s just CUTENESS ALL THE WAY AROUND. I really loved tearing through it and I don’t mind that it’s a wip that hasn’t been updated in ~15 years because it’s not one that’s about resolution, it’s about the slice of life dynamic between these characters as Luke (who is a ball of sunshine, of course, even as he’s also a little shit sometimes) grows up and Obi-Wan adores him and loves him. That it’s a heartwarming fic set on Tatooine, with Luke making friends with Biggs and they go to see a podrace with Obi-Wan as the exasperated dad chasing after energetic kids, with teaching Luke to be patient and let go of his anger and frustration, all of it was just really sweet and a nice read. ✦ Ritual by ambiguously, bail & breha & leia & luke & han, ~1k    Two funerals Leia attended.    This was a short but lovely piece that’s a look at Leia’s character, the way she approaches mourning, the impact it’s had on her life, as seen through two scenes of loss–one as a child that she doesn’t really feel that connected to, the other as a young adult that’s too massive for her to wrap her head around at once. All the while showing her resilience and strength. ✦ Carmine by AceQueenKing, anakin & leia, 2.7k    The Princess stirs, waking; her eyes catch him at her door and her face darkens, ready for a fight.    Another gorgeous look at Vader and Leia, that the fire and steel in her veins teases at something in the back of his mind, but also just simply that he recognizes someone it would be a shame to waste, someone who would be so much more valuable put to better uses. I love the strength of Leia’s character here, that she’s human and nineteen, but also that she’s so sharp she’s very nearly cutting just to look at her. The deft characterization and the way they interact with each other is spot on and it’s a really aching, hard piece to read, but also graceful and fascinating. ✦ Useful by igrockspock, leia & luke & han, 1.4k    To earn her place on the Falcon, Leia has to be useful, so she tries to learn everything she can.    Another lovely look at Leia’s character, during her time on the Falcon and how hard she pushes herself, the kind of impossible standards she holds herself to. It makes me ache a little for her, she’s so very hard on herself, always pushing more and more, but also so tremendously happy for her that she has Luke and Han, who are there for her. ✦ Paper Trails; A Triptych of Leia Organa by glorious_clio, leia & cast, 7.9k    By the time she was 19, Leia has three defined roles that she slots in and out of, some are more obvious to outsiders than others. But Leia Organa is also more than the sum of her parts.    Sometimes I feel like I shouldn’t be able to read such an endless parade of Leia fics, that eventually character pieces should feel like they’ve covered all the ground of her, but I never seem to get tired of them, not when fic like this exists that are such a lovely look at the larger span of her life, the fire she has and the losses she suffers and just how much there is to her, all told through so many little scenes and little details given to flesh her out. It’s a really fantastic read if you’re interested in her character and her life! ✦ Entail by Domenika Marzione (domarzione), leia & luke & ahsoka & cast, 2.4k    Families of all sorts come with obligations. And baggage.    Another lovely look at Leia’s character (which I will never get tired of!) with a highlight on the Skywalker family and the Jedi and how it’s this really kind, goodexploration of what those things mean. I especially adored the conversation between Leia and Ahsoka, the introspection Ahsoka has clearly done over the years about what happened to her former Master, her part in all of it, and how it really gets how these characters related to each other and how things were beyond them sometimes. That Anakin maybe wasn’t meant to be a Jedi, but that didn’t mean anything bad about him in an inherent way or that the Jedi were bad, either, and that was perfect, that it understood and that this is how these characters actually would feel and realize things. It’s a story about Leia struggling to find her way through the Skywalker legacy and her connection to the Force, the connections her loved ones have, and how the past came to be, and it’s kind-hearted and charming, all while being sad and heartbreaking. I enjoyed this a lot! ✦ The Trick is to Keep Breathing by AceQueenKing, anakin & leia, 3.3k    She’s older now, and so is he. Far older now. She wonders: will he have lost any power with his age? Will he be shorter, weaker? An old man on a ventilator? It’s hard to imagine that he won’t still be dangerous. But then, that’s exactly what she’s counting on.    Oh, this fic was wrenching. There’s something so incredibly sharp and aching about this piece, one that’s exactly the length it needed to be (though, I would read an entire novel’s worth set in this story) and does an incredible, painful job of capturing Leia’s character, as she goes to see her biological father after the events of TLJ. There’s so many gorgeous details here (the life he lives, wherehe lives, how he lives, the people around him, the way he spends his time, the people in his sketchbook, the clothes) that I loved, but also just the sheer “please stop punching me in the feelings (no, please keep going)” feeling of it. It’s the most gorgeous Vader & Leia fic I’ve read in awhile, it really gets both these characters and how they would be in this situation, how there’s an undeniable connection there, but without removing Leia’s anger or her connection to her real parents. All of it is incredibly painful, especially Anakin, with his hope and his eagerness and his world-weariness all in equal measure, like, yes, that is Anakin Skywalker right there. I practically felt physically sore after reading this, just exactly as I was supposed to feel. ✦ Minor Counterintelligence Operations by igrockspock, han/leia & ben, 2.5k    Ben Solo knows three things: he loves his parents, they are weird, and they have a lot of secrets. He intends to find them out.    Oh, this was so adorable! Young Ben asking his parents about stuff kids ask about, except they’re not quite a normal family, so there’s a lot in Han and Leia’s past that has to be delicately approached, but they do such a sharp, charming job of it, even as you can see kidlet Ben getting a little too focused on them. The fic does a great job of not going too far in any one direction, but instead there’s all this hope and light and joy in their family, it’s genuinely darling and charismatic in how cute the kid is, while also being legitimately hilarious in moments. The comedic timing of the dialogue is really great and it just absolutely charmed the pants off me. CROSSING THE GENERATIONS: ✦ GrandMasters & GrandPadawans by ShadeCrawler, ezra & mace, background time travel, 2.2k    AKA. Where Ezra Bridger and Mace Windu have a discussion over juice.    I had a moment of wondering how these two characters would be thrown together in the same time and place, but then realized it was a time travel fic where Ezra gets to go back and meet this legendary Jedi of his lineage and, oh, I didn’t know how much I needed it until I had it. It’s so good, it’s a beautiful look at a quiet conversation between them (of course Ezra has a million questions, he’s definitely Kanan’s padawan in that) and Mace’s answers are spot on for him, that this is a fic that really gets the Jedi and the actual balance they strive for, Mace’s answer about attachment was perfect. I could have cried happy tears over how warm-hearted and good this fic was, but it’s also one that gave me a tremendous amount of feelings because EZRA GETTING TO SEE THE GOLDEN DAYS OF THE JEDI, I didn’t know how much that was going to mean to me. ✦ Round Two by ambiguously, ahsoka/sabine & cast, time travel, 1.4k    Sabine and Ahsoka get stranded in the past together.    This is a fic that drops you into the middle of the story and it’s not really aboutthe time travel, it’s about the more intimate personal dynamic between Ahsoka and Sabine, that they’ve been set outside of time, in a sense, and it’s a glimpse into how they deal with that, just moments of them stepping outside their own lives. I don’t know that I necessarily shipped it before this, but I found it to be a lovely piece and I could definitely see it here, and it was just a cool, neat read! ✦ How to Kill a Ghost by saiditallbefore, kylo & yoda, 1.6k    “Fuck. I’m being followed by a dead Jedi.” “Jedi master, I was,” he says, tapping Kylo with his cane again.    I would read at least a dozen fics of Yoda as a Force Ghost haunting Kylo Ren, basically annoying him into turning at least somewhat back to the light. I love the little touches in the fic, none are too heavy handed, but the loss of the Jedi, the hurt of everything with Anakin Skywalker, the passage of time, all of it is really nicely done, this isn’t just a crack fic, it has moments of genuine sadness and bittersweetness. But it’s also entirely hilarious and I would read the galaxy’s most fuck-awful road trip with these two for AT LEAST an entire novel’s worth! ✦ Spectre by Magical_Destiny, anakin & kylo, 2.2k    In the aftermath of Crait, Kylo Ren finally meets his grandfather.    This was a really great post-TLJ fic that hit all the notes just right for me, it wasn’t too over the top, it wasn’t too understated, it was just the right amount of Skywalker Drama with Anakin also still trying here and having achieved something better in death, more clarity that allows him to see better. And the fic doesn’t try to swing the characters too far one way or the other, while still allowing them reactions, and so it just kind of sucker-punched me in a way that felt perfect to the movies and where the characters are at this point in time. The conversation between them is satisfying for the brief moments they’ve given and thisssss is what I want from Force Ghost Anakin, yes. ✦ another city (better than this one) by notbecauseofvictories, lando & ben solo, 5.8k    The kid is sitting cross-legged on a drum of tibanna gas, picking at a hole in his leggings despite the bulky stun-cuffs binding his wrists together. He keeps darting black looks at the patrolmen flanking him on either side, and scowling.    I really loved the conflicted feelings this fic gave me, that it was easy to see the bad path Ben was on here, that Lando had to put the safety of others first, but also he handled it really kind of badly when he just shut Ben down the first time something (admittedly something really huge) happened, despite that he saw that Ben didn’t do it out of malice. And yet that this was a problem farbeyond Lando and he did the right thing. It’s a crappy situation all the way around and it was perfectly done for that! It is a fic that doesn’t really fit with canon but that doesn’t matter because it’s illustrating how Ben Solo could have gone so wrong, how he was loved and how he wasn’t just an evil chariacture, how a person can feel for him and be deeply disturbed by him, that it’s not just his power that’s frightening, but the morality behind it, the lack of understanding of how he uses it and how it hurts people. It really was a fascinating read! REBELS RECS: ✦ Mating Rituals by Velvedere, zeb/kallus & sabine & cast, 4.7k    Zeb has been acting weird lately. Kallus vents to Sabine about it.    With the brief exception of Kallus’ name, this fic could easily fit into the later parts of Rebels (which is one of the big hesitations I have with reading Kalluzeb fic, because I love that ending and want stuff that’s compatible with it!) and, even more importantly, it’s delightful as all get out. The writing is really sharp, it’s funny in that sort of understated, not directly a joke, just a hilarious circumstance kind of way, just the way Sabine is so dry about Kallus’ awkwardness, but not mean about it, is so her. And the dynamic between Zeb and Kallus is really charming and sharp, it’s a scream to read for the hilarity, but also because I ship those two so hard and it just really sparkled off the page here. An absolute scream of a fic! ✦ Seven by ambiguously, kanan & jacen, time travel (sort of), 3.8k    Kanan asks the wolves a question. The wolves bring him someone with a different question.    Another fic that I never knew I needed, this one just punched me right in the feelings with how it was absolutely perfect and so, so fitting with Star Wars and these characters’ relationship with each other. It’s perfect for Kanan, I have no trouble believing this fits into his story, just as much as it fits perfectly into what I would love to see for Jacen, it makes everything feel all the more settled, it provides a bit of resolution/closure in exactly the way it intends, it’s painful but in a cathartic way, and it works so, so well as something understated and meaningful without trying too hard. That it’s a brief few moments in time only increases it’s importance, that it doesn’t need confessions, they just get it, is so incredibly true to the characters that I could have cried a little at how much it made me feel. Gorgeous and everything I wanted from Kanan & Jacen fic. ✦ Ben Whitesun by Perspicacia, obi-wan/beru & cast, 6k    When Obi-Wan brought Luke to the Lars’ farm, he found only a struggling grieving widow and not the young, happy couple he hoped. This is how Ben Kenobi became a moisture farmer instead of a hermit…    This is really more of a Beru piece than anything, Obi-Wan is just kind of there and lacks the focus of his character, but I loved it for being an alternate storyline, for being such a great Beru piece. That Owen died and so Obi-Wan’s path became a little different, that their relationship isn’t this grand, passionate thing for either of them, they’re both too much about other things, too grounded and down to earth, but it is something comforting and solid and real, the fic balances that really well and made me care about them and really able to see that this could have happened for them. It’s a lovely picture of what life on Tatooine is like as well, that it’s hard and exhausting and dangerous, but there’s life and love and warmth there as well, that both of these people heal around each other, because of each other and Luke. It really charmed me to read this story! ✦ The Care and Keeping of Ex-Imperials Who Need Coffee, a Nap, and a Hug in That Order by akaparalian, kallus & phoenix crew (& some zeb/kallus), 8.8k    Five Ghost crew members who helped Alexsandr Kallus, and one who he helped in return.    This is a really satisfying piece about the Phoenix crew and Kallus and his slow adjustment to being part of them, a really great look at Alexandr Kallus as a character and where he’s at with all of them. That he holds himself back in ways that really fit with the character, that aren’t trying too hard or over the top about it, but instead that are pretty understandable and reasonable ways, that the fic is about the crew slowly warming up to him and him slowly learning to trust that he can tease back or admit to when he needs food or medical attention or even just trust that this is all real. I love the voices for the characters (Chopper just chucking food at him in frustration is a highlight, but also the back and forth with Ezra is probably my favorite), each one of them is different and sharp and true to who they are. It’s just exactly the kind of fic I really wanted to read! ✦ When we have peace by apocrypha73, zeb/kallus, 2.9k    After the Battle of Endor, Kallus and Zeb enjoy the celebration.    This was just a nice, solid piece of post-Rebels fic where Zeb and Kallus outlast the war, having these little moments along the way, whether discussing bigger events (like the hotshot pilot who destroyed the Death Star) or more personal, quieter and intimate moments (like discussing their lives) and it just helped satisfy that itch I had for more of them! Sweet and very nice to read. ✦ The First Day of the Rest of Your Life by ambiguously, kanan/hera & ocs, 6.7k    Kanan and Hera, from point A to point B, and all the places between.    This is the other Kanan/Hera fic I didn’t know I needed until I had it in my hands and was swept away into it. It’s the perfect length for a sort of slice-of-life (that spans a fair amount of time) post-A New Dawn and pre-series, as Kanan and Hera start to settle into this new friendship (and something more) of theirs, but I also could have read another 50k of it, because it’s so sharp and sparkling and charming. It fits them both so well for this time in their lives and really gets their ridiculous amount of chemistry down and even has original characters that I adored, who were perfectly used as they needed to be for this story. It’s a great read whether you’re full on diehard OTP for these or just more casually interested in them, I really loved it a lot. ✦ Without, Inferno | Within, Peace by auraelys, kanan/hera & sabine & ezra & depa, ~1k    In that moment, Kanan knows the choice he has to make, no matter how much it hurts.    This is a really gorgeous look at Kanan’s point of view from Jedi Night and really nails his thoughts and what he was going through and the connective web of his entire life and the path he walked. The sense of peace, the purpose just struck me really hard, they’re perfectly done and beautifully written. ✦ In the Middle of the Night by bar2d2s, hera & kallus (background kanan/hera & zeb/kallus), 1.8k    When one member of your self-made family is pregnant, you’re all pregnant.    A lovely post-series look at Kallus still trying to fit in with the Phoenix crew, as he interacts with Hera in a slightly awkward (but getting less awkward) run-in during the middle of the night. It’s sort of a Kallus-focused piece, but it’s also a family-focused piece, with the right amounts of cute and bittersweet woven together. ✦ A Moment to Breathe by Mirror and Image, kanan & kallus & hera & ezra & sabine & zeb & cast, 8.9k    Everyone struggles to come to terms with the Season 3 finale - Kallus most of all - and in their grief and defeat one blind man gives them a moment to breathe.    This was a lovely post-season 3 finale fic where Kanan wanders around and gently nudges various Phoenix crew and Rebels into feeling better, that he’s so Jedi about it, that he’s so Kanan about it, that it’s these wonderful moments of connection between all these different characters at a difficult moment in their lives, the moments of breathing room they get after everything that’s happened. I love that it fits with how a Jedi is someone who can create these moments to help others, that they get a little breathing room because of him, but I love it even more for being a piece about family, for being a piece about Kanan finding his path in life. The scene with Kallus at the end is probably definitely my favorite, but I really loved all of them, it was a lovely read. ✦ And a Million Years Gone By by ambiguously, hera & jacen, 5.7k    Hera worries about Jacen a lot.    Oh, I loved this fic, it was such a great piece for Jacen growing up and being a little strange and what that means and how Hera deals with it. It’s a series of scenes across the early years of his life, as Hera balances raising him with still fighting in the rebellion, as Jacen gets into the occasional situation here and there. That it can’t be an easy life, growing up in the midst of all that fighting and not many other kids his age around, but he’s no less loved by the people around him for it, that this is a piece about the family they’ve forged and chosen for themselves, and the ending brought that misty-eyed, “my chest is having those feelings things again” feel to me, it was beautiful for all these moments from Hera, who loves her son but worries about him, especially after she’s lost both the Jedi in her life already for a higher purpose, that the war has strained everything in her life. This is the fic I wanted to read about these moments in Hera and Jacen’s lives. ✦ Morning Light by SweetSinger2010, kanan/hera & sabine & ezra & zeb & cast, 8k    He’d long since figured out he was in bacta. He was able to orient himself to the sound of voices in the room, sometimes. When it was Hera speaking, always. And he could sense that little flicker of light and life she carried with her–their child. AU.    I am at peace with the way Rebels’ story went, it was obviously built up from a very long time ago, and the sacrifice Kanan made was a good one. That said, apparently I needed just the one AU where he lives and this one scratched that itch absolutely perfectly. The writing is lovely and the characterization is really solid, it has just the right amounts of both Hera being stubborn and reckless with how much heart and care she has, that once things settle she can put aside things and be soft again, too. It’s definitely a softer, kinder AU, but it’s not sugary sweet and I really appreciated that blend as well, because it takes Kanan time to recover, there’s a lot of shit going down in the background with the Rebellion, there’s a lot of worry about Hera pushing herself too far, etc. It hit the right notes of “I can see this fitting the Rebels canon” and “just fix everything already and give me the soft Kanera ending!!!”, which I greatly appreciated.