#( pls ignore me i was just trying to get back my writing jam ) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

clairecrive · 4 years ago

Note

can u make a nikolai x reader based on the song mr perfectly fine by taylor swift?

Mr Perfectly fine

A/n: Ahh, thank to you friend, I've been jamming to this song every day lmao Hope I've done it justice x Also, I've left out some parts of the lyrics to make it better fit the story.

(if you want, you can add yourself to my taglist here)

for my other masterlists, you can find them on my navigation page

Word count: more than 7K (ikik it took a life of his own, what can I say)

Warnings: bit of fluff, angst (like a lot), character's death, spoiler if you haven't read Siege and Storm

Tagging: @jupiterandbutterflies (Thank you so much for your comment! I saw it and it made my day✨)

(I don't remember where I took this from so if you know pls lmk)

Most people knew of Nikolai Lanstov. He was a prince, the second born and the most charming. Most people knew him thanks to the countless rumours that went around at court: supposedly he was not of royal blood. "Sobachka" was what they called him.

No matter how though, everyone knew of the last Lanstov prince. But very little knew him.

Meeting him wasn't difficult. Since he had been of age, Nikolai had always been out of the Grand Palace and among people. He’d also volunteered to enlist in the first army, refusing any kind of special treatment and fought beside his brothers in arms in the infantry. That was part of the reason why everyone outside the court loved him so much.

Being Grisha meant that fighting in the Second Army was mandatory. Not that you minded. There was nothing you wanted more for your people than to finally be free. Also, that Shadow Fold needed to go and as the Darkling has always said, all efforts are necessary.

That’s how you met Nikolai the first time. Generally, the First and the Second Army were stationed in different parts of the campsite. Numerous quarrels between oprichniki and Grisha had rendered the separation necessary. However, you never liked crowds much and living in the Little Palace meant that you were always surrounded by people. So, every chance you had to draw away and be by yourself for a while, you took it. Also, being a Healer meant that you’d spent more time in your assigned tent taking care of soldiers than among them.

Word had gone around that everyone in need could come to you. Usually, you had been instructed by the Darkling that your powers were reserved for Grisha. However, what good was it to have the ability to cure people and only take care of a selected few that very rarely got seriously injured? Meanwhile, soldiers of the First Army often suffered from severe injuries, fatal gunshots or knife wounds. You could help them and possibly save their lives so why shouldn’t you?

That was why Nikolai found you one night. Sure at that point it was just another nameless soldier to you. He had never been in your tent before so you had never seen his face before. The boy whose arm he had draped on his shoulders though, was a usual visitor of yours.

“Oh, Petyr, what happened this time?” gesturing to his blond friend to lay him down on the table, you started gathering everything you needed. Not that you needed much but you had found out that Petyr was absolutely incapable of bearing having his bones or injuries in general repaired without having some kind of pain reliever before.

After a few tries, you came up with a herbal composition that dulled the pain but didn’t make him unconscious. Using kvas would mean that Petyr would be knocked out for a couple of hours. That would put him in trouble with his superiors.

“He’s a fool, that’s what happened.” The explanation came from his friend after he put him down gently. Despite his words, you could hear in his tone worry and guilt?

“If saving your life makes me a fool then go ahead and call me one,” Petyr huffed in pain.

“Who knew you were so brave, uh?” After quickly shredding the herbs you needed, you poured hot water on it and brought the cup to Petyr’s lips while helping him keep his head up.

“He’s the bravest of us all,”

“If I knew it took a bullet wound to make you hand out compliments so easily, I would have done it sooner.” Scoffed Petyr after sending you a thankful look.

“See? What did I tell you? A fool,” his friend said dramatically and you smiled amused at their playful banter.

“Let’s see what we’re dealing with, shall we?” You said out loud to warn both Petyr and his friend. Letting them know what was about to happen was best, your experience taught you. Both for the person on the table that could brace themselves for what was about to happen and for the person with him that was filled with worry and cautiousness. Oprichniki didn’t trust Grisha that much.

After assessing the damage, you let out a relieved sigh as the bullet had gotten through and it had not hit any major artery. It had already got infected though, so you knew it would be a painful one to treat.

“So, did you receive any letters lately, Pety?” You ask, suggestively wiggling your eyebrows while your hands cover the wound. You had your eyes closed to better focus but you were sure that he had rolled his eyes.

“Only from my mum.”

“Don’t tell me you didn’t write her back,” you said, opening your eye just in time to send him a glare.

“Ugh, not this again, y/n, please. Have mercy on me, I’m bleeding all over the table.” Petyr moaned making his friend snicker.

“You’re not bleeding all over the table and if you didn’t notice, I’m already taking care of you, am I not? That doesn’t excuse you for being an idiot, though.”

“Are you two in cahoots or something? It’s not fair. Wounded man over here.”

“Oh shut up.” Both you and his blond friend said at the same time. Petyr moaned once again and you sent a little amused smile to the blondie.

“Should I leave you with a cool battle scar? Maybe acting like a war hero will give you the balls to write to her.” You harmlessly threatened him but your hands were already reconnecting the tissue of his skin without letting it scar.

“I’ve told you, y/n. She deserves better than what I can give her. I am, who knows if I even make it home? I’d be only stringing her along.” Now Petyr was dead serious. It was true, you had talked about this often since he was a regular you got to know him better and he had soon told you about his sweet Katia.

While his friend chanted “fool” like a mantra in the background, you took his bloodied hand in yours, his wound fully healed.

“Petyr, how do you think she’s gonna react when she learns that there hasn’t been any delay to her letters but you’re just ignoring her? Besides, you should let her make this decision too. Who knows, she’ll surprise you.” Squeezing his hand you turned to let your words settle and to put away your utensils. You knew you had given him so much food for thought so you didn’t address the subject anymore. His friend helped him off the table and that’s when you noticed that he was injured too. He had a pretty nasty cut on his lower lip and there was already a bruise forming on his temple.

“Petyr, you can sit on my chair while I take care of your friend. You should be fine but for at least a while don’t stress your body.”

Mentally making a list of the things you need to tend to this kind of wound and where you kept them, you started collecting before heading back to them.

Petyr had sat down but his friend was still standing.

“You don’t have to lie down if you don’t want to, but unless you don’t want me to go take a ladder or something, it would be best if you sat on the table.” You gave him your best reassuring smile as you mixed the healing paste. Sometimes, men didn’t like to put themselves in a vulnerable position with someone they didn’t know and had learned to fear. He wasn’t that badly hurt and it would only take a couple of seconds to fix but not every oprichniki was comfortable with being healed by Grisha power. So the paste would do your job for you. It would take longer, sure and it would also sting a lot more but at least he’d be healed at last.

After looking at you for a little while, the blond man did as you instructed, giving you a dazzling smile in return when you settled between his legs to fix his cut.

“The name is Nikolai or handsome if you prefer.” It was not the first time a wounded soldier tried to flirt with you. IT didn’t bother you, you found them amusing more than anything and you knew it was the allure of someone taking care of them speaking more than any real interest.

“Let’s hope you won’t be around here much for me to learn your name.”

“I’ll have to find another way to make myself unforgettable then.” He winked at you before hopping off the table.

You didn’t address his words, only gave them the paste you had prepared. It would prevent any wound from being infected and would be able to cure small cuts and bruises if applied for a couple of days. With that, you sent them both on their way. Petyr waving you goodbye while Nikolai sent you another wink.

And so this was how it all started.

Mr. "Perfect face"

Mr. "Here to stay"

Mr. "Looked me in the eye and told me you would never go away"

Everything was right

Despite your fellow Grisha, military life could be a bit alienating. Which sounded like a paradox, sure, but everyone had their own way of processing trauma and emotions and of course there were plenty of those during the war. If the best way to come to terms with everything that happened was to distance yourself from others and try to find the solution in solitude, it could get to the point where you’d feel alone in a room full of people.

To get a little respite, you’d usually go on a long walk or resort to stargaze. Sometimes, depending on where you were posted, it wasn’t safe to leave the campsite. So, that’s how Nikolai found you one night. Even he had to take a breather once in a while. Being a different version of yourself based on who you’re interlocutor was must be exhausting. Of course, you didn’t know this. You knew nothing about Nikolai at that point if not that he was Petyr’s friend and a socialite, according to other soldiers.

He seemed to be at the centre of gossip no matter what group of people you found yourself with and there also seemed to be a consensus about him. Everyone liked him. Even if it was rare for some Grisha to appreciate oprichniki, you knew they somewhat respected him because if they didn’t praise him out loud, they didn’t speak ill of him either.

“Not a fan of crowds, are you?” he announced his presence before sitting down beside you.

“I love them, I really do. It’s just that sometimes it gets too much.”

“Yeah, I know how you feel.”

“You do? Everyone seems to think you’re a socialite.”

“It’s what I want them to think but alas, I enjoy being more complex and multifaceted than that.” He lightly bumped your shoulder with his, eyes aflame with mischief.

“I bet.” you simply smirked. Despite how everyone seemed to think they knew him, you got the peculiar vibe from him, like there was a lot more to him than what he let everyone see.

“No one seems to know much about you.”

“Maybe you’ve talked to the wrong people.”

“Well, then I guess it’s better if I got straight to the source, don’t you think?”

“That will surely be a better start. Not sure you’ll find what you’re looking for though.”

“We’ll see.”

That night had been the first of many. It had become a sort of an unspoken arrangement between the two of you. While it didn’t last long, you sensed that you got to know him better than everyone. There was something about late nights meetings under the stars that prompted deep and meaningful conversations. It wasn’t hard to form a solid bond with him after a few nights.

The conversations weren’t always personal in the conventional sense. You’d often stray and talk about the most bizarre things. Like why something had the name it had or how cool it’d be if it was possible to pass through surfaces, which led to imagine all the uncomfortable situations one could find themselves in if they were to simply go into a room through its wall.

Nikolai was witty, overly confident and ambitious and he knew a lot of things. You always wondered how he had learned them since he was so young and been in the army for a couple of years already. But Nikolai was never too forward on certain topics, his family and childhood being some of those. You understood, those were sore subjects for you too. So you never insisted. It was much more interesting to listen to him rumble about impossible future projects of his, like a flying ship.

"When people say impossible, they usually mean improbable." He’d say whenever you’d point it out to him. Somehow, despite the absolute absurdity of them, the sheer confidence that he seemed to constantly exude, made you consider the possibility of his success.

You got the distinct feeling that there was nothing this man couldn’t do.

But that was when I got to know Mr. "Change of heart"

Mr. "Leaves me all alone," I fall apart

It takes everything in me just to get up each day

But it's wonderful to see that you're okay

But, alas, as all things do, these encounters of yours also got to an end. You knew it would happen, you were both soldiers so your lives were both heavily characterised by uncertainty after all. However, you were not prepared for it to end so abruptly though. And without an apparent reason. Because Nikolai’s unit hadn’t been posted elsewhere and he hadn’t been fatally wounded. You would have heard of it were that the case. But it wasn’t.

You thought that he had come to cherish your nightly encounters too. Some of those had been full of his promises. How he’d love for you to be around when he’d eventually find the time to work on his ideas. How you had been a nice surprise, a most interesting person among so many dull idiots you were surrounded by every day. How he’d come to value your opinions and presence in his life and that he was going to find a way to make sure that that would never change. Promises that turned to be empty.

You had never allowed yourself to fully believe him. It wasn’t the first time that a boy had made the same kind of promises but Nikolai looked sincere. Honest enough to be believable. But, of course, you had been wrong.

You didn’t realise just how much you had come to rely on him until he was gone. You tried to keep your mind off him and luckily the perfect distraction came your way. The Darkling had scheduled an attack on the enemy’s army and had posted you to be on the field to take care of everyone promptly. You had never been more grateful to the man, even after he had given her a home and a purpose.

Ever since your first encounter with Nikolai, you had thought it had been a blessing. However, you had soon changed your mind and now considered a curse more than anything. Why? Because as soon as you got to the field you couldn’t help but scour the troops for a familiar mop of blond hair. Many looked like him and being this far you couldn’t be sure that he wasn’t one of them but you certainly despised the leap your heart made every time though. That was a distraction you couldn’t afford. Besides, it wasn’t smart to let your heart get involved in times of war.

The battle began, Inferni and Squallers were working together to impair the enemy’s visual so they couldn’t shoot or use their cannons while the First Army marched after them to swap in as soon as the air cleared to catch the enemy by surprise. While your role wasn’t active per se, you were a Corporalki after all, and even if you had been specifically trained as Healer, you had also got one of your friends to teach you the basics of an Heartrender’s work. You weren’t a powerful one but you could hold your ground in a fight. Especially since they weren’t expecting you. And you were still far from any real threat.

The battle dragged on and soon there were wounded soldiers that needed your attention. You hated this kind of work, it was messy and dirty and had to be quick because spending too much time on one soldier could mean dooming another to death. You were accustomed to it by now and soon found a rhythm focusing on ensuring everyone’s survival and not bothering with the aesthetic side of healing. That could be taken care of later if they wanted to.

As soon as your eyes fell onto a crouched figure you sprinted towards them. It was dirty and you didn’t recognize them but you got the feeling it was a life or death situation. Oh, how you wanted to be wrong.

The person crouching turned out to be Nikolai and he wasn’t alone. He was kneeling beside someone, Petyr.

“Where are you hurt?” you hurriedly asked as you tried to assess the damage. His uniform was dirty and full of blood but you couldn’t figure out where it was coming from. Trying to answer you, Petyr opened his mouth only to let out the most gruesome gurgling sound as his respiratory tract was flooded by blood.

“He got shot in the gut.” Nikolai offered.

“Is the bullet still inside?” Opening his uniform jacket you tore a piece from his shirt to use it to put pressure on the wound.

“It’s too late,” Nikolai uttered.

“No.” You strongly refused as you removed the cloth and focused on the wound. His heart was straightening and he had already lost a lot of blood. If the bullet was still inside that it was going to be a problem, if it wasn’t then you still had a fighting chance.

“I removed it earlier.” So that was why he had lost so much blood. Nodding your head to show that you had heard him, you set out to stop the internal bleeding. Slowing his heartbeat so that it was pumping less blood and thus eased your endeavour. You were still in the middle of the field and while you were keeping up with the warfare but in the back of your mind, you registered the sounds of screaming and of gunshots getting closer. A bullet hit you in the shoulder propelling you forward over Petyr’s body. Grisha’s kefta were bulletproof so you weren’t worried for your incolumity but for the harsh movement you had made.

Leaning back, you heard Nikolai calling for you but your eyes were trained on Petyr. You tried to listen for his heartbeat but could only hear two instead of three. Nikolai, who had never left your side, immediately understood what had happened by the fall of your shoulders and the tensing of your hands.

He kept calling for you but the only thing you could focus on was that you had let your friend down. Now there will be one more family crying for a loss, another girl mourning a lost loved one. And it was all your fault. It was because of you that Petyr wouldn’t live to see another day, to write another letter or to fight another battle. It was on you.

The details of what happened next were a bit blurred. Someway you must have found your way back to the campsite. Whether you did on your own after tending to everyone else, you didn’t know. Your memories picked up after you woke up in your tent. Someone was calling your name, saying that the Darkling wanted to see you.

Mechanically you raised and made your way to the Darkling’s tent but your mind was elsewhere. Your thoughts were plagued by Petyr’s face, by that godforsaken sound he made when he tried to speak. The realisation that he was gone hit you like a wall of brick that would have made you stumble if you weren't’ sat in front of the Darkling’s desk. Whether he was speaking and stopped after seeing the forlorn look in your eyes or he hadn’t been speaking at all, you didn’t realize. You did hear him say that you were going to be posted somewhere. Under different circumstances you have said something, anything to not let him send you away. Your mind immediately went to Nikolai. You’d be leaving him behind along with the campsite.

However, you now realised that you had already lost him. Losing Petyr had been the last thing that had completely severed your bond. There was no turning back now and part of you was grateful.

Hello Mr. "Perfectly fine"

How's your heart after breaking mine?

I've been Miss "Misery" since your goodbye

And you're Mr. "Perfectly fine"

You couldn’t know, of course, but Nikolai had left not long after you did. Albeit for a different reason. He had finally earned the Major rank and as such, he took a step back from military life deciding that his skill would be better suited for a life on the sea. Assuring Ravka the supply she needed but in ways that weren’t exactly suitable for a prince but worked just fine for a privateer. And thus Sturmhond came to life.

As for you, you kept doing your job at your new post but were relieved when a letter came from the Darkling instructing that you were needed at the Little Palace. Part of you had relegated Nikolai to that part of your mind where the unmentionable was, however, a traitor thought whispered that maybe there was a chance that you could see him at the royal grounds. Sure, the possibilities were close to zero but it was still possible, right?

No.

You already were ashamed of the fact that you’re still suffering because of him. And yes, you missed him but you weren’t going to indulge the pathetic hope of seeing him again.

He doesn’t want to see you. If he did, he would have already found you. Or write you a letter if he couldn’t, but he didn’t.

You were right. You knew you were, nonetheless, the thought only brought you a bittersweet feeling.

You found the Little Palace just how you’d left it and yet it seemed changed in a way. The insane amount of work you found there waiting for you helped you drown the feeling that it was you that had changed.

Months passed this way, sometimes the Darkling would post you with him or outside the Little Palace. All in all, you’ve kept busy. When news of the little prince leaving the Palace reached you, you let it wash over you. It wasn’t like it mattered much, whether he was a few feet away or in another nation, Nikolai wasn’t part of your life either way.

When the whole expansion of the Fold happened, you were stationed at the Little Palace. Chaos and terror ensued as soon as the news reached the capital making most of the Grisha flee. Most of them went looking for the Darkling while others simply ran away and hid. You were amongst the first group.

Soon, your life was radically changed. The shift in the Darkling was palpable and it didn’t have anything to do with the scars on his face. You had tried your best to heal them and Genya to tailor them away but somehow, they could not be removed. It was an unsettling thing to realize that they didn’t take away his beauty. One could even say that they enhanced his attractiveness.

He was certainly more powerful. None of you knew what had happened in the Fold that day, just that the Sun Summoner had fled and that there were no survivors apart from him. However, as your journey in pursuit of Alina dragged on, you were soon witnesses of his newfound power.

The nichevo’ya, he called them.

He had always been immensely powerful. One of a kind. But this- this was different. And as dread settled among your group as you watched them in action, realisation sat heavily on your shoulders.

He soon found a trail and traced Alina in Novyi Zem and set out to reach the island by hiring Sturmhond’s crew. He was a famous pirate after all and despite his unreliability, the Darkling was sure that as long as he got his money, he wouldn't be a problem.

In the round trip, you didn’t see much of the captain anyway. Some members of his crew were amiable enough, particularly the Yul-Baatar twins. You had even asked Tamar to spar with you from time to time. Your lessons with Botnik were a distant memory and you knew that mastering combat training skills could increase your chance at survival.

When Alina and Mal were held captive though, that’s when Sturmhond made an appearance. He looked younger than you’d thought and there was something oddly familiar in the way he held himself. Still, you didn't talk with him much. Your job was to take care of Alina and so you spent most of your time in her room.

It wasn’t until the Darkling asked Mal to track Rusalye and consequently spent more time with Alina that you had a chance to talk with him. It was during one of your night shifts when he approached you, the Darkling had wanted some of his to always be patrolling the ship.

“What could possibly make a little thing like you be amidst this wretched company?”

“It’s all a matter of perspective, I guess.”

“The thrill of adventure?”

“There’s plenty of it everywhere you go if you’re Grisha, even if you just go on a stroll.”

“Is that why you follow him?”

“I owe everything to him.”

“I’m sure you realize your role in this.”

“Of course I do. I’m not some naive girl who has a crush on her general.”

“Ah, so who, pray tell, do you have a crush on then, beautiful lady?”

“You’re certainly noisy for a pirate.”

“Privateer,” he corrected you, “there’s not much to do around here is it?”

“Not if you have everyone taking care of it, no.”

“Amuse me.”

“It isn’t wise to let the heart get involved in times of war.” That was all you were willing to share. Yes, he was handsome. Yes, the twinkle in his eyes was oddly familiar but he was a stranger. A dangerous one.

“Those sound like words spoken from experience.”

“Maybe.”

“Well, I’d say it’s no fun to only think about war. Life is so much more.”

“Believe me, if I could, it’d be the last thing on my mind. But, alas, l don’t have the privilege to do so.”

You had already lost too much time speaking with him. If someone were to see you or tell the Darkling you’d be in trouble. And you had made it your goal to never put yourself on the path of the Darkling’s anger. So you excused yourself and went back to your rounds.

If only you had stayed and talked to him more maybe you would have understood what was about to happen. Maybe you would have had an enkindling of Sturmhond’s plans. Instead, you were taken by surprise, just like everyone in your group, when Rusalye was spot and a shot was fired. You had found yourself in the uncomfortable position of having to fight against people you had grown to like.

“I don’t want to hurt you, y/n,” Tamar warned you as you stood face to face on the sinking ship dock. Her trusted axes in her hands while your hands were raised ready to attack.

“I don’t want to hurt you either.”

“Then you don’t have to. Come with us.” Her proposition made you gasp.

“That would be treason,” you whispered hoping that the Darkling wasn’t around to hear you. A shiver ran through you as you thought of the punishment he’d give you for even thinking about leaving his side.

“Then you leave me no choice.” She said lowering her arms. Was that guilt you heard in her voice?

Before you could voice your question though, she shouted for her brother and not even a second later, you felt your body grow still. Your eyebrows faltered as you felt your heartbeat slow down.

They were Grisha.

They must have seen you realise because you heard Tamar apologize before everything went black.

Mr. "Never told me why"

He goes about his day

Forgets he ever even heard my name

Well, I thought you might be different than the rest, I guess you're all the same

You didn’t stay out for long though. As soon as Sturmhond’s crew had left the Darkling’s ship and had safely made it onto the Volkvolny, the privateer had asked for you to be awakened.

There wasn’t enough light for you to realize you were on another ship, what alerted you of your new situation were your hands. They had bound them behind your back. Immediately you started to struggle, hoping to wiggle out of the restraints. To no avail though. Huffing out in frustration, you settled for looking around you and see if there was something you could use. That’s when you noticed him.

“Release me- this instant, or else-”

“Or what? You’re a Healer. Not exactly a violent job, is it?” Sturmhond interrupted you, a smirk on his face since he had the upper hand.

“I don’t need my powers to kick you in the ass, do I?” He laughed but didn’t look remotely threatened. Rather amused, actually.

“Please, you have to let me go. He’ll kill me if-” Panic started to build as you realized that there was no way you could successfully escape.

“He won’t touch you.” A solemn glow took over his eyes. “He won’t ever hurt you again, you have my word.” He promised, looking subtly at your left shoulder. You winced as you realized that he must have seen your scars. The ones left by the Darkling’s niche’voya.

“How can I know if you’re trustworthy? You don’t exactly have a good score, you know?”

“You’re going to find out soon enough. Don’t worry.”

Of course, he didn’t bother offering further explanations. He’d left it at that. You weren’t a captive per se but he left your hands bound, only freeing them when you needed to eat or relieve yourself.

Fruitless were your efforts in making you tell more. He often ate with you and would check in at least twice a day but that was it.

It wasn’t until after you had landed after that forsaken vehicle of his had gotten you through the Fold that you understood. His coming out as Nikolai Lanstov, prince and second in line for the Ravkan throne, had shaken you all to your core. However, you doubted that it had sent a pang to the others’ hearts as it did with yours.

Nikolai Lantsov. The man you had been dreaming about, the one that had left you behind without any sort of explanations, the one you missed so dearly, had been by your side all this time.

You weren’t sure how you felt. It made sense now why his eyes looked familiar and his posture. You then connected that the vehicle you had used in the Fold had been one of the many projects he used to geek about with you. It tasted a lot like betrayal. Not because he had lied to you about his name but because he had tried to get close to you again and had managed to somehow break that growing bond again.

'Cause I hear he's got his arm 'round a brand-new girl

I've been pickin' up my heart, he's been pickin' up her

So dignified in your well-pressed suit

So strategized, all the eyes on you

Oh, he's so smug, Mr. "Always wins"

So far above me in every sense

So far above feeling anything

Even if his secret had been outed thus causing some shift in the dynamics between Nikolai and the two new members of his crew - you suspected Mal was closer to punching him every second that passed- not much had changed for you.

On the outside, you pretty much looked like a prisoner. Albeit a very clean one. You rode with them, hands still bound, scowl ever-present on your face.

Nikolai had not come to see you ever since that night after the Fold. And now it had been almost a week since you had started your journey back to the capital. Whether this was all part of his plan to make you look the part of the captive even more or he was just gutless, you didn't know. It was working either way though.

You liked to think that his reason was simply that he didn't care. He had far too much on his plate right now as it was. Going back to court after years of absence while also making claims to the throne and trying to sway the Sun Summoner your way. It was no easy feat. But hadn't he always liked to say that impossible often meant improbable? A lot of things had changed since that night but even so, you'd still pose your bet on him that he'd be able to achieve anything he set his mind to.

It wasn't exactly that thinking this way brought you actual comfort. Of course, not. But it was better than foolishly hoping for him to still care about you the way you did for him. After all, he had sent plenty of signals that pointed in the other direction.

But then why did he kidnap you? Why take you with him? You weren't that close to the Darkling to be of any use to Nikolai in that way. And, as a matter of fact, no one had come to interrogate you regarding his plans or whereabouts. Then why?

You still couldn't figure it out.

Some days your anger shifted more to frustration and you were ounces away from asking for him yourself. Almost as if he had heard you though, he gave you the final push.

It was the usual day, Nikolai and Alina were riding in the carriage, stopping in every village we passed to meet with the locals. However, this time, before climbing back into the carriage, they kissed.

You were too far to figure out who started it and the details. The gist of it was enough though.

You most certainly were a fool. Still thinking about a guy who didn't give two shits about you, who had kidnapped you putting you in a dangerous situation and you were still wondering whether he felt something for you or not? Pathetic.

You had to do something about your situation and quickly too. Officially, you were a traitor. You had fled and joined the Darkling, that wouldn't make you look good in front of the king. He was a lousy bastard anyway and will probably sentence you to death to set an example. You hadn't survived so much shit to end up at the end of a rope.

So, even though you had initially thought against it since you were so close to home, you decided to escape. You were already headed towards certain death so what was the worst that could happen?

Your hands were left unbound when you were in your tent. One less problem to solve. Closing your eyes, you focused on listening for any nearby heartbeats. You heard two, those of the guards posted outside your tent. Maybe you could find an excuse to call them inside, put them to sleep and then slip away.

That was not exactly what your powers were for but you were desperate. You had to at least try.

And so you did. You called them in and immediately set out to slow their heartbeats. You had almost succeeded in putting them under when someone else slipped in. The last person you wanted to see.

"Am I that bad of a host?"

You didn't meet his ruse though, you knew it would make you lose focus.

"I'm afraid I have to ask you to release my soldiers." As soon as he said it though, they fell unconscious at last. Your chest was heaving by now, using so much power in such a different way was costing you. But you couldn't back down now. It was one on one and you were Grisha and a woman scorned. He stood no chance.

"Move out of my way, your highness."

"I'm afraid I can't do that."

"You can or I can make you. Your choice." The venom in your voice was unmistakable and it took him by surprise. He gave you a curious look tilting his head to the side like he was seeing you for the first time over again.

"I didn't realize ruthlessness was one of your personality traits."

"You know nothing about me," you seethed. The tip of your fingers flexed, the tension in the room could be cut with a knife and you were already weary.

"It may have been a while y/n, but I like to think I know a good deal about you."

"And I would like to completely erase this last year but you don't hear me yap about how shitty it has been, do you?"

"You never did like opening up much."

"I'm well past the point of sentimentalism, Nikolai. It is coming far too late anyway. And whatever my feelings for you may be, I won't let you put my life on the line." Your posture straightened, stance ready for battle.

His eyes flashed, jaw clenched. His hands closed in fists and he almost looked hurt. But why would he?

"Is that what you think all of this is?" Nikolai always acted aloof. He was always composed and dignified. You had thought it was for his insane amount of self-confidence but now you understood it was for how he was raised. But you recognised the pout on his lips. It was the expression he’d always have whenever he tried to get something from getting to him. To prevent himself from showing emotions.

"You're holding me captive while you go around Ravka parading your latest conquest, flashing your return everywhere. I don't know why you're doing this but I don't care. I've stopped waiting around for you and I certainly won't let your father put me to death."

"You think I'd let him?"

"So you want to do this?" you threw your hands up in exasperation, "Fine. You really want to know what I think?"

"Be my guest."

"I think that the Nikolai I knew would have left out of the blue without so much as a letter. I think that the Nikolai I knew was ready to go to any length to achieve what he believed in. However, I thought that the Nikolai I knew cared about me and what we had but look at me now. So maybe, I know nothing at all."

"You certainly do seem to know a lot of things. But you’re not wrong."

"If this is the way you care about me," I gesture to my tent, "then I'm not sure I want this Nikolai to care for me."

“This,” he said, emulating your gesture, “is to keep you safe. This is my way to ensure that if the Darkling got news of your whereabouts, he’d be sure not to think you willingly left his side and betrayed him.”

“That’s because I didn’t!” You raised your voice in outrage. The nerve of this man.

“Spare me your indignation. I know you hate being at his beck and call, to do his dirty work and be constantly surrounded by warfare.”

“Do not presume to speak for me.” You snapped. You knew it was best to keep a cool head but his cockiness was getting on your nerves.

“Didn’t you? Hate it, I mean.”

“We’re at war, Nikolai. Being away or close to the Darkling won’t change that. At least with him, I was safe.”

“You can’t be that delusional to think that he was protecting you.” He scoffed at your words as if they were the most absurd thing he had ever heard.

“And you can’t be that delusional to think that bringing me back won’t result in your father killing me.” You fired back shifting on your feet. He winced as if you had physically hurt him.

“You have so little faith in me?” His voice was just above a whisper and you knew that your words had struck a chord.

“How can I have any, Nikolai?” your voice softened a bit. “One day you’re telling me how much you value my opinion, you promise me a future where I’d be the first to see your project come to life and then you left. You just left, Nikolai.” And when I was starting to make my peace with it that’s when you come back? Also, let’s not forget about my abduction and your flirting with Alina.”

“So yes, I don’t trust you.” You concluded, crossing your arms on your chest with finality. He just stared at you for the longest time. If someone would come in now, they’d think you were in the middle of a staring contest. Then he sighed and started talking.

“I had to go away. I had already pushed my parents’ limits when I said I wanted to be part of the infantry. So, one day I got a letter written by my father personally and I knew that my time was up. I had been Nikolai for too long, now I had to start being a Lantsov prince.” His eyes were on the ground now, shame making her way in his words.

“So that’s what I did,” he went as he started pacing,”I went to Kerch to study, just like my father wanted. I did what he asked, he couldn’t reproach me anything now. I could never stay too still though, a life of adventure was calling me and I could not ignore it. It was only then that I realized that I could do so much more than sitting in a class, to realistically help Ravka.”

“I couldn’t take you with me. You had such a larger role to play in the army and besides, there wasn’t much I could offer you. So yes, I left. I left thinking that I would find my way back to you eventually.” He had stopped by now, regret was swirling in his shining orbs as he looked at you.

“You could have told me.” You contestated, taken back by all the information he gave you. “I would have waited for you.” A whispered promise for something that would never be now.

“I was afraid, y/n. That’s not my best moment, I know and no number of apologies could ever make it right. But I was afraid of your answer. I knew I’d be asking for a lot and let’s be honest-” the desperation in his tone was evident now, he had unconsciously started to lean towards you but you knew what he was about to say.

“You weren’t sure if the future you were offering me would just end up with me being your mistress, am I right?” Your tone hardened but despite the insulting implication of what you said, you weren’t made at him.

“I’m a prince, y/n. We do not marry for love and this country cannot afford to disregard the advantages that a political union could bring.”

His honesty was as refreshing as it was unsettling. He was right. As soon as you had learned he was a prince, you realized just what kind of future you could have with him. But then he left and that problem did not exist anymore. Neither of you spoke, both of you were seizing the other. You had laid it all out, defences were down putting you both in a vulnerable position.

And someday maybe you'll miss me

“You should have talked to me, Nikolai. We could have figured it out together. If it came to being your mistress to stay with you, then that was my decision to make.” You said softly after a while. It pained for you to say this, you would have never thought that getting closure would hurt this much.

Tears streamed on both of your faces, in front of you had been laid what your future could have looked like. It was everything you had wanted, you could still do your job and have the man of your dreams. You were surprised to find that you wouldn’t mind sharing him with his supposed wife. You had been at court for enough time to know how most marriages went. If he assured you it was only a diplomatic affair but that his heart was yours, that would have been enough. Who knows, maybe she’ll get a lover too.

But now… now you didn’t know if you could ignore everything that happened. You did not trust him nor could you ignore how hurt you were by his lack of communication and thus of trust in you.

But by then, you'll be Mr. "Too late"

#nikolai lantsov #nikolai lantsov x reader #nikolai lantsov imagine #nikolai lantsov imagines #nikolai lanstov one shot #nikolai lanstov fic #nikolai lanstov x you #nikolai lanstov x y/n #shadow and bone #grishaverse #nikolai lanstov angst #nikolai lanstov fluff #nikolai lanstov blurb

495 notes · View notes

wonwooslibrary · 2 years ago

Note

hi sammie :3 i just wanted to apologize for not sending you any messages all this time TT i've been so busy all my hw and projects have been piling up

AYAYAYAYA CONGRATULATIONS ON SOCIOLOGY IM SO PROUD OF U U WORKED SO HARD :D yeah it hit me like a truck when i also realized i had to write... i haven't written anything in ages so i'm way too rusty... beware of poor writing.

omg im so happy u enjoy the matching tattoo prompt cus im doing something similar to that for my fic to you ehe

omg i have so much nostalgia from pokemon, esp pokemon xyz. i get so emotional thinking about it. and the lore is just *chefs kiss*. my fave games tho are rhythm games because i love to jam out to music and break my thumbs in the process. IM SO SORRY BUT I ABSOLUTELY HATE MIRACULOUS. i loved it a lot before but they keep on drawing out marinette and adrien's entire love story so now i hate it ToT. i just don't have the patience for that long, esp with love stories.

social anxiety is the worst TT its ironic because humans are meant to be social creatures that rely on interdependence. I've been trying to get medication for it since it's been getting increasingly worse to the point i feel like I'm gonna get a heart attack ??? yeah but somehow im being "dramatic"... anywho enough ranting

sigh i love people whose love language is physical touch <33 esp since i love to be hugged. my personal love language tho is words of affirmation simply because i also love to read!! im not much into tiktok romance books (ironic because here i am on tumblr to write the corniest stuff ever) but i like to keep those two realms separate ykyk.

it's question time! im just gonna send u one question this time tho.

what do you do whenever it's the holidays? anything fun?

i love talking with you, stay safe <3

🕯️anon

HIII ANON <3 pls don't apologize for not sending a lot of messages, I understand that people are busy!!! trust me, i am also busy with coming home for the holidays and helping my parents around the house in their new apartment.

OMG POKEMON i used to play pokepark 2 on the wii with my brother all the time and that game is one of the many reasons why gen 5 is the best pokemon generation...also bc snivy, tepig and oshawott are the best starters :)))

RHYTHYM GAMES OMG i used to play the superstar series and i cried for WEEKS when superstar bts was shut down...and then again when superstar pledis was shut down. i love playing rhythym hive tho!! i acTUALLY PULLED AN XR MINGYU EARLIER TODAY???

Also pls so many people hate miraculous and I'm ngl it's so dumb but sam (pls ignore the 3rd person lmao) is brain empty no thoughts so dumb plots with overly cliché main characters and extreme slow burn that lasts 7 years makes me happy (tho apparently the timeline in the show it's been like 9 months??? weird)

To answer your question, i honestly don't really do anything that interesting during the holidays. my family celebrates Christmas and so we just have a small Christmas at home, and then we go to my grandma's for a bigger Christmas with all of my aunts. What about you? what holiday do you celebrate? do you have any cool traditions?

I BELIEVE IN YOU, YOU'RE DOING GREAT ON ALL YOUR TESTS AND PROJECTS!!!

sorry about the short message, i can't wait to hear back from you!!

happy holidays, sammie <3

#💭 ask sam #🕯️anon #sam's secret santa era

2 notes · View notes

truckloadoffrogs · 4 years ago

Note

I’ve been thinking about this for like a week sooooo pls consider this a smut prompt for u. Praise kink Bucky with dirty mouth Sam. I mean anywhere that’s not an active battle is grounds for Sam to whisper something filthy in Bucky’s ear, and it annoys the HELL out of everyone cause they know when it happens. You wanna know how they know? Bucky short circuits and his face is the color of raspberries and he’s practically in Sam’s lap whenever it happens

This is only a little smutty, sorry about that, but this got in my head and I had to write it! Also, ignore how this is 3 months late I hope you’re still here to read it, sorry!

Also on ao3

There's a little bit (and I mean a tiny bit) of feminization in here, so if that's not your jam, don't read!

—

Everyone thinks Peter is a kid. Well, I mean, yeah technically he only just turned eighteen, and yeah technically he’s the youngest Avenger by, at the lowest, ten years, and, at the highest, by eighty years (?? how does that work??), but he’s not that naïve. He knows what’s going on.

It goes like this. The Avengers are in a (very important) meeting right after a battle, getting chastised on their dumbass risky plans, all of them yearning to get home and clean off the dust and sweat and blood from their bodies. Peter is sitting in one of the high backed twirly office chairs, trying desperately to focus on how they’ve been “very very bad”, and “a danger to the city”, and trying not to spin the chair around in circles, and think about how he might ask MJ if she wants to get some ice cream after school tomorrow, and how he should maybe invite Ned? Or would that make it too awkward? Or would it be more awkward to have Ned not be there? Or maybe— Right. The meeting. Peter blinks heavily, and straightens in his chair.

A cleared throat across the table grabs his attention, and he glances over. Captain Wilson and Sergeant Barnes are sitting next to each other, Captain Wilson’s knee pressed into Sergeant Barnes’ thigh and his arm over the back of Sergeant Barnes’ chair. Peter can’t really tell who cleared their throat.

Captain Wilson is calm, cool, and collected, his flying goggles pushed to the top of his head and the white head of his suit pushed down around his neck. His shield (The Shield!!!) is balanced on the wall behind him. He looks friendly, if not intimidating, with a serious look on his face but his eyes sparkling.

Sergeant Barnes, in contrast, is in his usual all-black leather outfit, smeared black paint around his eyes, with a clenched jaw and a furrowed brow. Honestly, it scares the shit out of Peter. His metal arm is resting on the table in front of him, reflecting the lights from the ceiling and whirring occasionally as if to intentionally scare Peter more, and holy shit it’s working. He still vividly remembers the fight between him and Sergeant Barnes and Captain Wilson— then-Mr. Falcon— and how he almost beat them but then got his ass handed to him.

Honestly he thought that Captain Wilson and Sergeant Barnes hated each other, based on their ribbing at the airport, but looking at how close they are sitting now that issue seems to have been solved. Well, he thinks, because there is no expression on Sergeant Barnes’ face right now, other than vague anger. Captain Wilson looks positively gleeful though, a smirk flashing across his face as he leans over to whisper in Sergeant Barnes’ ear, and— oh my god.

Now there is definitely an expression on Sergeant Barnes’ face, and that expression is red. His whole face has suddenly just flushed a deep deep red. What the fuck?

Peter tries to turn off his super hearing as much as possible when he’s not patrolling, having heard way too many things he definitely should not have heard, but now he’s too curious to keep his hearing down low. He hesitantly widens his range of hearing, just enough for him to hear what Captain Wilson is whispering to Sergeant Barnes across the table.

“You look so pretty sittin there, Buck. I wish I could kiss you right here, in front of everyone.”

Peter almost gasps out loud. What the actual fuck was going on? Were Captain Wilson and Sergeant Barnes dating? Oh my god. Peter watches as Sergeant Barnes blushed, if possible, even redder, the tips of his ears almost glowing. With the black eye makeup and his dark blush, his eyes were an even bluer-blue than they were before. A tiny pleased smile flickers on Sergeant Barnes’ lips before he tightens them and looks back to where Agent Hill is still on her tirade. The idea of a former Russian assassin blushing because his boyfriend (?) told him he looked cute was just too weird for Peter to handle.

“You wearing the plug I got you, baby? Yeah? You still all wet and sloppy from this morning?” Captain Wilson is whispering so close to Sergeant Barnes’ ear that his lips are grazing the shell of it, tongue almost glancing off the skin. “I could slide right in, you know that right? I could take you to the bathroom and slide right in. No prep, nothing. You’re probably so slick inside it’ll feel like fucking a pussy.”

Sergeant Barnes couldn’t seem to blush any deeper, but his metal hand was starting to whir louder, and his right hand was twitching slightly. He was biting his lip so hard the thin skin around his teeth was white, and frankly Peter was worried he was going to bite right through it.

“Oh, you like that? You want me to call your hole a pussy? I think—”

Aaand that was enough for Peter. God damn. Who knew Captain America had such a mouth on him? Thank god Peter was still wearing his mask because holy shit his face felt like it was as red as Sergeant Barnes’. Peter had stopped listening, but he could see Sergeant Barnes become more and more tense, his eyes flickering from side to side like he couldn’t decide if he wanted to keep pretending to listen to Agent Hill or if he wanted to give up all pretenses and give his full attention to Captain Wilson.

Suddenly chairs were being pushed back, the lights were coming on again, and people were starting to leave the room. Because Peter, Sergeant Barnes, and Captain Wilson were at the end of the table and therefore at the back of the room, they had to wait a bit for the other Avengers and Agents to make their way out of the room before they could. Well, Peter had to. Because Sergeant Barnes and Captain Wilson did not seem like they were going to move anytime soon. Captain Wilson looked about 0.5 seconds away from licking the sweat off of Sergeant Barnes’ neck, and Peter could not get out of the room fast enough.

As he was leaving, he bravely turned around to face Sergeant Barnes and Captain Wilson to ask, “Do you want me to lock the door behind me?”

Captain Wilson looked up in surprise before a big grin spread across his face. “Yeah, why don’t you do that. Thanks, kid.”

Turning quickly, Peter just barely kept himself from slamming the door behind him when he saw Sergeant Barnes get out of his chair and start to climb onto Captain Wilson’s lap.

Well, that was the last time Peter would use his superhearing for anything other than crime fighting. Damn.

Let me know what you think!! <3

#sambucky #sam/bucky #winterfalcon #sambucky fics #winterfalcon fics #froggie writes #anon

73 notes · View notes

dnf-fic-recs · 4 years ago

Note

hi<3

i was wondering if you could recommend me the best long fic that you can think of? i only seem to find either one shots or really short fics, but i’d rather read something that i can get really invested in.

heat waves is the longest dnf fic i could find, but i already read (and loved) it

hello anon!! <3 let me see,,,, (under the cut)

currently i’m reading the modern dictionary for ghosts, written by a dead guy by Turtle_ier, with 3 chapters out atm!

Dream is dead, and has been for some time. People come and go, trees grow and fall, and as time gradually wears down even the most steadfast things, he forgets himself. Eventually, the appearance of the man who inherited the house he haunts means that he remembers some things, and learns a few others. But Dream remembers that face. It would be hard not to remember that face.

there’s also Acts Of Love by overthejune! 13 chapters out rn

He leaned down and smiled sensually. "Your name would be nice.

The brunette seemed to consider this for a moment, then leaned forward until their faces were inches apart; a direct challenge. Clay could feel the boy's breath softly ghosting onto his face.

"George Davidson."

Clay's smile grew as he tallied himself a point. "Well, my name is Clay Dream. It's very nice to meet you, George."

George stared straight into his eyes, a light going off in them that signaled his intense disapproval of Clay's condescending tone. The boy leaned back in his seat but didn't relax. After a single moment, the dark eyes discarded him.

"Wish I could say the same."

-- Everyone loves Clay... everyone, that is, except for the sarcastic, edgy guy in the third row of Clay's English Language class.

Clay has always enjoyed a challenge, but he never thought that it would be so hard to get someone to notice him.

George has always enjoyed staying away from people like Clay, but he never thought that it would be so hard to ignore him.

It will be quite a battle of the wills (or pills), and it will change their lives forever.

figure skates and hockey blades by effervescentlies has 7 out of 15 chapters out rn!

George is a talented figure skater who moves from England to Canada on a scholarship.

Dream is the rowdy captain of the university hockey team. Unbeknownst to George, he’s also Clay, an exceptionally bright and mysterious English major.

But what George doesn't know won't hurt him, right?

high dive down by xiechr only has 2 chapters out right now but i’m a SUCKER for mistaken identity fics (those are my Jam yall i am requesting them pls and thank you <3)

George doesn’t know what he’d do without Dream. He doesn't know who he’d be without Dream.

Or: George drunkenly books a flight to Florida. For the record, it was a bad idea. But George thinks finally meeting Dream might just be worth it.

Clay, on the other hand, is the pool boy of the airbnb George is staying at.

lucky charm by persona_kath has 20 chapters out and is one of my favorite royalty aus Ever (i had to stop writing my own king!george and knight!dream bc i was afraid i’d accidentally steal ideas bc this fic is Amazing)

George has had bad luck before.

He’s stubbed his toes on doors, dropped heavy pounds onto his feet, nearly cut open his fingers trying to cut potatoes-- but nothing like this. Nothing in his life can compare to the misfortune of having just been crowned king.

---

In which George, down on his luck, is crowned king and meets Dream, the luckiest knight in the world.

number neighborhood by Depressed_Anon is actually such a good fic it’s so fucking funny and there’s 30 chapters out rn! dnf isn’t the main focus of this one but its hilarious and i adore it

Dream- i’ll literally bark at you

George- fucking e x c u s e me?!

Dream- you heard me

Sapnap- BARKBARKBARKBARK

Karl- BARKBARK GROWL WOOF WOOF WOOF

(OR)

Sapnap decides to hop on a trend that happened in like, 2018, and makes a group chat of number neighbours. Chaos ensues.

saltwater secrets by earlgay_milktea has 6 chapters out and i think the author has a tumblr so go follow!!

George may be a mermaid, but his feelings for Dream are drowning him.

last one, studio 404 by quartzfia is amazing! it has 8 chapters out rn and is one of my favorite fics

With zero hesitation he pushed the door upon, eyes darting to the figure there as he realized it was very much not empty. George found himself completely enthralled with what he saw. He always had a thing for tappers, didn't he?

Or in which, George left everything behind him to pursue his dreams of dance in New York City, and meets two mysterious people he grows too attached to in too little time.

my computer is yelling at me for making a long post but i hope this helps anon!! sorry theyre all continuing lmao

#dreamnotfound fic #dreamnotfound #dreamnotfound fic recs #dnf fic #dnf #dnf fic recs #asks #reccommended by mod

38 notes · View notes

tweedlydumbtweedlydoo · 5 years ago

Text

Spencer Reid x Reader

Request: Spencer has made an enemy with an unsub. The team believes it’s over after they catch him, but they don’t realize one big detail; unsub isn’t working alone and that partner has gone after Spencer’s girl. Will Spencer make it in time to save her?

// Anon request: can u do one where reid saves the reader from getting kidnapped or shot pls🥺🥺 //

// Anon request: ok this might be confusing but can u do one where the team goes on a case, but like the unsub actually had a partner back at reid and the readers apartment and kidnaps her and he gets super like protective and cute and like awe reid is so baby🥺🥺 //

A/N: sucker for angst. So I combined these two requests because they’re so similar. I steered away from the request a little and may have gotten carried away while writing it, but I’m kind of proud of this one. Thank you both for your request! I hope you enjoy :) xx

**MASTERLIST**

Requests: {OPEN} CLOSED

I am currently taking requests for:

The Vampire Diaries/The Originals

Elijah Mikaelson

Damon Salvatore

Criminal Minds:

Spencer Reid

Derek Morgan

Supernatural (I’m only up to season 2, so please don’t request something with spoilers)**

Sam Winchester

Dean Winchester

********************************************************************************************NOT MY GIF, CREDIT TO OWNER

WHO GAVE HIM THE RIGHT TO LOOK THIS DAMN SEXY UGH

Finally, the BAU team tracked down the unsub. Currently he is in custody, chained to the interrogation desk. This was the man who’d taunted the BAU team for months. He’d sent them on numerous goose chases and they finally caught up to him when he made a mistake, which then led to his capture. This man got under Spencer’s skin the last time they faced him and since then Spencer did everything in his power to find him and take him down.

The first time they had caught up to the man at his home, they were all shocked to the core, Spencer specifically. Inside the home, the team found a room dedicated to photos of him and his wife, in their home, his wife at the grocery store, the two of them on dates. The man had been following them, taking photos of them, invading their privacy. Spencer was sick at the thought and since then, he couldn’t sleep until he knew his wife was safe. Until he knew the man was put behind bars.

The man had killed numerous women, up and down the coast. They caught up to him outside of Georgetown and when they arrived at his home, he’d already slipped away into the darkness. The man had laid low for a few weeks, then the murders began again, this time, the women favoring Spencer’s wife. Spencer and the team knew exactly who was behind these murders. He was back, this time in a small town on the coast of South Carolina. After the 3rd woman, the man made a mistake and slipped up, allowing the team to finally put an end to this.

However, the BAU team made a mistake, a very big one. They’d missed key information, that could potentially put the woman Spencer loved in danger.

Spencer stood across from the man that had tormented him and his wife for months, anger boiling inside him. It took everything he had not to reach across the table and strangle the man.

“This is the end for you. You’re facing charges for over 20 women up and down the east coast.” He slammed his hands against the metal table, “You’re facing the death penalty. You will get what you deserve!”

The unsub smirked, “Oh but Dr. Reid, this isn’t the end. You really didn’t think I would leave without making sure your suffering will continue?” He sits a little straighter in his seat, leaning forward, “Tell me Dr. Reid, have you spoke to your wife today? Told her you loved her?”

Spencer straightens, fear washing over him. He hadn’t spoke to you today. He was caught up in the case to bother to call you. The unsub began to laugh wickedly, seeing Spencer’s fear. Spencer then stormed out of the interrogation room, the rest of the team waiting by the door. Hotch already on the phone, “We need officer’s at (you and Spencer’s address) right now!”

The team was in South Carolina, you were back at your home in Quantico. He checked the time. It was Thursday, 5:43 pm. You would have been on your way home from work by now. You would have stopped by the grocery store on 4th to get groceries to cook dinner. Thursday’s were chicken night. He knew you probably would have splurged and bought a bottle of wine for yourself along with cookies. Cookies were your weakness.

Spencer’s hands began to shake, “How could we have missed this?” He roughly runs his hands through his hair. How could he have missed that this unsub had a partner? How could he be so stupid?

“Reid, calm down. Hotch has officer’s on their way to your home now.” Morgan tried to calm his friend, but all Spencer seen was red.

“I’m going to kill him.” He mumbles. Before anyone can act, Spencer has barged into the interrogation room and has thrown the unsub into the wall, his hands wrapped tightly around his throat.

“Reid! Stop!” Hotch and Morgan are grabbing at Spencer, trying to pull him off the man.

“You sick bastard!” Spencer’s hands tighten and he can feel the life draining from the unsub.

“Reid if you kill him, we have no way of finding her!” Hotch yells, ripping Spencer off the man. Morgan’s arms wrap around Spencer’s body, holding him back, “Kid, you got to calm down!”

“Get him out of here!” Hotch yells at Morgan, who begins dragging Spencer out of the room, the door clicking shut behind them.

“Morgan, he’s got her… he’s got y/n..” Spencer’s body goes limp in Morgan’s grip and begins wracking with sobs.

You push open the door with your foot, your hand full of groceries. You only needed a few things for dinner, but you hoped Spencer would be home this weekend so you two could spend the weekend at home, binge watching tv and eating your weight in junk food. You grunt, setting the grocery bags on the counter. Slipping your shoes off by your bedroom door, you enter the kitchen and begin putting away groceries, continuing to play your playlist you were jamming in the car to.

Your body tenses as you feel the cold barrel of a gun pressed against your back, “don’t move.”

Your breathing becomes rapid and you slowly raise your arms, “Please.. please don’t do this.” You whisper.

The man puts a cloth over your mouth and you thrash, trying to keep it away. “No!” You throw your head back into the man’s nose and groan. That hurt more than you thought it would. The man staggers back against the counter, holding his nose, “You bitch!”

Your head throbs and spins as you slip passed him and head for the door. Just as your hands grasp the door, the man grabs you, throwing you into the wall, the mirror falling to the floor and shattering. Your body falling into the broken glass.

You whimper as he grabs you by your hair, your hands going to his, “Let me go!” He drags you along the floor into the living room, tossing you into the coffee table. Pain shoots across your body, but you ignore it grabbing a vase from the side table, hitting him in the side of the face. He falls to the ground and you stagger to your feet heading for the door once more, but you never make it.

A gun shot rings through the home you and Spencer shared. The last thing you see is the smiling photo of you and Spencer on the wall. It was your wedding photo, taken moments after you two promised to love and protect each other.

Spencer and the team were on the jet within the hour, heading back to Quantico. Back to you. When the police arrived at you and his home, they found the door opened, broken glass and a trail of blood out the door, but you were no where in sight.

He stares aimlessly at the wall in front of him, the gears in his head running a mile a minute. He racked his brain wondering how it come to this. He had caught the unsub that had terrorized you two. He promised you after he was caught, this would all be over. You two could live normal lives. Now, the unsub was locked in cell somewhere, but you were gone, disappeared. The only thing left was a blood trail out the door.

“Kid.. we’re going to find her.” Morgan says quietly, his hand going to Spencer’s shoulder.

“We won’t stop until we do. She’s family, Reid.” Emily says, taking a seat next to him.

He figured he was in shock. He couldn’t speak. He couldn’t function. When they arrived at your shared home, he could see you put up a fight. Those self defense classes must have helped. He glances at the kitchen counter, the groceries still there, untouched. Sure enough, there sat a bottle of wine and a box of cookies. He’s broken from his trance as Hotch’s cellphone rings.

He’s nodding, listening intently to what someone’s saying. He looks up at the team standing in the living room, “That was the sheriff from next town over. Said he just received a call about a woman stumbling up onto a porch, bloodied and beaten. Thinks it could be y/n.”

Spencer’s heart was beating out of his chest as Morgan drove to the hospital. The sheriff informed Hotch, they took her to the hospital immediately. She suffered extensive injuries, but kept telling people she escaped, that a man had kidnapped her and kept muttering that she needed to speak with Spencer Reid.

He practically ran into the hospital to the room where the unknown woman was. His heart dropped when he entered. It wasn’t you laying on the bed. He slowly walked over to the bed, the woman’s head rolled over to face Spencer, wincing as she sat up a little.

“Are you Spencer Reid?” The woman asks. Spencer only nods in response.

“Your wife…” Her voice is hoarse, “She saved my life.”

“Y/n? How? What happened?”

“The man brought her in, there was blood everywhere. I thought she was dead. But he left her in the room with me. I rushed to her side and she had a pulse. He’d shot her in the side. The bullet grazed her. I patched her up with what I had. Which was only a few t shirts. She finally woke up later that night. She told me that she knew where we were, she’d woken up long enough during the ride. We were in the middle of the woods, not far from civilization. So, we thought of a plan. She knew she couldn’t run so she told me to run and get help. She would attack the man when he came in. She made me promise if I got out, to tell them I needed to talk to Spencer Reid. It was late that night, the man came into the room and she attacked him from behind. I was able to slip out the door and I ran to find help.”

Spencer was quick to get on the phone with Penelope with the information. She worked her magic and soon there was a location.

Swat and the BAU team had the small cabin surrounded. There was no way out of this for the guy. He knew that. When he entered into the room, he was panicked. You used that to your advantage and was able to fight the gun from him, getting a clear shot through his chest.

Spencer’s heart stopped as the gunshot was heard. “Move in!” Swat yelled and begin closing in on the home.

Morgan was the one who saw it first. The door began to open and a figure limped out of the door. “Hold your fire!”

It was you. You were safe. Before he knew it, he was running to you, his body colliding with yours.

“Spencer!” You cried. The collision sent pain through your body, but you ignored it. Spencer was here. You were in Spencer’s arms and that is all that mattered.

Spencer’s body wracked with sobs and he held you, “Oh god… I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you.”

You shook your head, “I’m okay. I’m fine..” You pulled away to look at him. He looked rough. Bags under his eyes. His face was red and wet from crying. A tear slipped down your cheek and you wrapped your arms around him again.

“I love you so much… god I love you.” He says into your hair.

“I love you too…”

Spencer carried you to the ambulance and he never left your side, riding in the ambulance to the hospital. He never let go of your hand either, scared that he would lose you if he were to let go. He finally had to let you go as they took you into the hospital. He didn’t want to leave your side then, but your reassured him, you would be fine. You were safe and everything would be okay.

*******************************************************************************************

#spencer reid #spencer reid imagines #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #Matthew Gray Gubler #matthew gray gubler imagines #matthew gray gubler x reader #x reader #Criminal Minds #CRIMINAL MINDS FANDOM #Criminal Minds Fanfiction #criminal minds imagines #criminal minds imagine #imagines #imagine

1K notes · View notes

shorkbrian · 4 years ago

Text

ASKS

Hello again, asks are compiled under the cut. Please block the tag #shorkbrian answers a lot of asks# If you’d prefer not to see these types of posts from me. If I haven’t answered your ask, it’s because I’m saving it for a thirst, drabble, or fic.

I don’t ignore asks, but sometimes getting around to them overwhelms me lol. pls accept my apologies lol k here we go

I am very glad, I legit was so scared that it was too long and that it’d be disappointing bc the smut wasn’t super IN YOUR FACE yknow? But man am I glad to hear that.

I’m looking directly @ you

Someone noticed omg!!! A lot of times I just put whatever song I played on repeat while writing that fit, but I have a *yandere* playlist that I listen to and it gets me going. Ty for noticing!!!

I’ve considered opening them permanently but I just... idek. I’d have to start deleting or ignoring the requests I don’t vibe with and Idk how to handle that lol. But thanks for the well wishes, hope your next few months treat you well friend!

Watermelon sugar why

Srsly you’re sweet but just wait until I start to really get going with all my nasty kinks okay, then you’ll be rethinking this strategy hunty lol!

I literally stalk @.vermiliren and @.kazooli and @.seita lol. Maybe when I get my blog more cleaned up, I’ll create a list of creators that I enjoy, along with fic recs. For now, here’s a link to my AO3 bookmarks which I read one like almost every single night bc I’m a horny gremlin.

I am the shark king. Sharks are my thing bro u don’t even know. I love them so much, they're dumb and big and beautiful and yeah I wish I was a mermaid who got to swim with them. Also I changed it bc I’m trying to make my blog more *professional* and all that so I can start being taken seriously askjakjdf

Compliments suck, if I'm being down and out honest. This does not bother me at all, I’m just unsure how to respond. I think I would prefer no comments, but I’m trying really really hard to just say “thank you!” and move on before I get uncomfortable. Having to fight with someone about how I perceive my self worth is exhausting, and especially so for the poor person that was just trying to say something nice and be nice to me.

They do make me quite uncomfortable my dear lad/lassie/lasso. Say what you wish in the tags tho ! I don’t really reply to those, so there’s no pressure on me to have to say something back. I do however, see all the tags ppl use and some of them make me laugh so hard cause they’re so spot on, and it makes my day. like “Mark me down as scared AND horny” and “Bakugou better be able to bench 165 cause imma throw my fatass in his mf lap” and it kills me.

I SCEREAMED AKDHGSYDGASJSD this is the only format I'll be taking asks in now, no compliments just a yes/no answer to if my works help u cum god bless

you used the /gen!!!!! IDK what these are called but the /S and /gen and /J save my life!!!!

Frick you’ve figured me out, I do try to put like a nail-in-the-coffin sentence at the end. A lot of times it never works right, but I cannot for the life of my figure out how to end a single post ever. If anyone knows hmu pls ty

(Also ps I checked out ur blog cause yans are my jam and it is very much Not garbage!!)

That’s very kind of you, but pls don’t stay up past midnight it’s bad for ur Brian you’ll make bad decisions bro trust me all of my stuff is written after midnight

You will lafff..... but I will tell anyways..... I was prescribed a “life coach” after I got out of the hospital, which was really just a poorly disguised softcore “make sure u don’t yeet urself” type of thing. He had me write down things I liked about myself, and when I returned the sheet of paper still blank, he wrote stuff down for me. Like five sentences of “My hair and skin are unique and special” “I like animals and enjoy being kind to them” “I am worthy of respect” etc etc. and I had to look in a mirror twice a day and say those sentences to help “boost my self worth”. It sucked so bad dude, and I like got upset about it every time it came up, until finally my therapist was like “... this aint doin this sad bitch no good” and my parents got designated for yeet watch instead.

I know, logically, that (the majority of) people are not purposefully taking time out of their day to make me feel bad. They're trying to be encouraging and loving, and I appreciate it so much. But like... what do I say? If I say thanks, it’s almost like acknowledging what they're saying as true, and I can’t live with myself thinking I’m more than I am. I’m sorry you’ve had experiences that make compliments difficult for you also, I understand bro and I hope that your future holds healing and peace for you.

Hopefully I won’t vent as much anymore lol, I’ll try to do that on my sideblog where I reblog really trigger-y memes akjdafhkjf. But thank you for your kind words bro, they’re appreciated and put in a nice lil jar.

Ah dw! This doesn’t sound like a jab. I think all of us r so sad n depressed and feel unworthy of love, so the fantasy of a Yan coming and forcing it on us and not leaving even when we lash out is just..... so attractive my heads gonna explode

me, thinking about kiri at any given moment like:

I have the next Hybrid! Kiri fic like lined up, but I’m so demotivated be I was SO CLOSE to finishing, and then wiped my computer like an IDITO

Waso, I’m taking horseback riding lessons bc my mom went:

and my grandpa told me that one of his horses was named Awaso and I immediately thot of u fun fact. But you’re so very kind, and I enjoy seeing you in my inbox. I’m never tired of u homie. You are loved and important, and it’s not an illusion. Even random strangers on the internet can feel soft towards you bro, and dats me, I’m the random stranger that likes u.

So I took Russian for a year, my dear friend, because I wanted to see if the language myth of “Russian is the hardest, Korean is the easiest” was true. I would say yes. So instead of like translating this and typing out a coherent response, I’ve resorted to google translate I’m so sorry but Виктор мог плюнуть мне в глаз, и я бы поблагодарил его. Also, the way Vitya is written in cryllic makes my heart swell it looks so cozy idek what I mean by that but it does? I treasure you man, hope to see you around in the new year and maybe??? we be good friends

Can any year be good when Kirishima Eijirou doesn’t exist?

cryface;;sad.jpg

I just imagine anyone who comes across my stuff, sitting at their computer shocked and slightly horrified, maybe turned on like

Daddy Aizawa makes me

Wait!! I have something to aid your troubles!!

ur welcome now u can be horny whenever you’d like

pls every time we talk about Kirishima I have to act surprised like

LISTEN BBYGORL I have had therapist Suga in the works since *checks notes* November. I am excited for it yeahhhhhh but sadly, I don’t think I will be continuing piano teacher Suga. The story is petered out in my mind, idk where it would go. Therapist sugarbird tho? We have some thots about this. Coming soon to theaters near you

#shorkbrian answers a lot of asks #pls block that tag if you don't want to see these kinds of posts #inbox was getting fulll #tysvm for continuing to support me

17 notes · View notes

tomiyeee · 5 years ago

Text

finished the story quests for bl3 (but barely any of the side missions yet) and i got...Opinions(tm)

(sorry if this doesn’t cut on mobile! also if you want to hide spoilers i’m tagging all my bl3 posts as “bl3 spoilers” so ny’all can blacklist it)

in no particular order:

i honestly wanted to give gearbox some slack and try my best to like this game bc i know people had probably unfairly high expectations for this game given all the build up, but they really just kept letting me down in everything but the graphics

said this before but overall, the characters are all Quite lackluster

^^ tyreen and troy included. adding the word "bitch" to every sentence does not automatically make it funnier

that being said, i super love their backstory + relationship with typhon/nekofeyo-whatever

the character designs are equally boring. moxxi was the only one who got a real improvement imo. lilith and maya are okay. rhys...i dont think i have to explain. lia...i dislike her hair; the black felt like it balanced out her design better and the white streak was interesting and cool but full white just looks bad tbh. zer0 feels less sleek and more bulky which doesnt fit him much. tina lost her pretty color palette and cute outfit. where are all the bright pretty color palettes in general???? there are other colors besides brown and black???? use them?????

ending of pre-sequel: “you will need all the vault hunters you can get” me: “ooh does that mean all the vh’s from previous games are back? i can’t wait to see everyone meet each other! :D” bl3: only nine of them come back, 3 of them die, the rest are involved in maybe one mission at most

boss fights. super. boring. and tedious. i mean this could be partly because i was playing on ps4 which made it extra not fun but if the only reason the fight is difficult is because they have a lot of health...it's not fun or challenging. i want fights like handsome jack with interesting mechanics. i want fights like angel with emotional impact. i want fights like the pre-sequel final boss that i forgot the name of with variation that isnt just "now they have an attack that shines bright lights in ur eyes, covers the whole arena, and can knock you down in one hit im looking at you traunt and killavolt". tyreens fight was the only one that i somewhat enjoyed because of this. all the others were just like "ughhhh again?"

im really enjoying melee amara playstyle. taking out badass enemies in four hits is my jam. this is just my fallout 4 playthrough all over again babey heck yea

typhon just wanted to be a good dad!!! he called tyreen starlight which is adorable!!! he did the best he could and tyreen hated him for it!!! i don’t blame either of them for that tbh, it makes sense from both their perspectives. tyreen definitely should have been more understanding, but she’s a dick so :/ (not saying this is a writing flaw, just a character flaw)

hammerlock needs higher standards in men but i really appreciate the undeniably in-your-face "fuck you" to all gamer dudes

i really. hate. how little the player character seems to matter in the story. in pre-sequel the vh's all had unique dialogue AND npcs would respond, sometimes even with character-specific lines. even when it was the same across vh's, it still felt like the npcs were interacting and speaking directly to them. the player character felt like a character of their own, rather than just a vessel for the player to do quests and kill enemies with or an errand runner for the important characters. i thought that was the direction they were going in with bl3 too but this just feels like bl2 only worse. there’s a separation again between you and the story and it feels like you’re just watching things happen. now ur not just a silent protagonist, but instead your a speaking protagonist who gets completely ignored. whats the point of including unique dialogue if it's not even acknowledged beyond an "uh-huh, moving on"?

sometimes the logic just feels kinda dumb. the twins killed/disabled maya and lilith in a heartbeat, they can literally disintegrate the most powerful beings in the universe, but the vault hunters? absolutely not. they must fight them for 40 minutes and then die.

after the fight with troy, no one even touched tyreen. there's no way they could have thought "yup she's definitely dead, no need to shoot her in the head or anything just to make sure. we didn't do anything to even hurt her, we just assumed." turns out she's 100% alive and gets up to start the apocalypse. who'da thunk! i know they wanted the end to seem more dramatic but it just seems stupid that they could have stopped tyreen like 5 missions earlier had they even the slightest bit of common sense.

lilith was one of the biggest threats to tyreen and troy's whole plan. of course they should leave her alive and simply steal her powers. let's kill the monk siren instead.

i know they didn't include this to give all players a fair experience instead of favoring sirens, but it kinda sucks playing a siren character and it's just completely ignored outside of ur action skill. tyreen and troy are sapping siren powers left and right, but they choose to leave you with yours. when you enter the eridian place with typhon tannis starts glowing because it has "something to do with sirens". what about the one standing right next to her? this applies to bl2 as well...jack i would willingly charge ur vault key for u pls why do u take lilith instead :'(

oh yeah speaking of tannis! i LOVE that she got angels powers. for some reason it just makes me really happy. maybe it's bc i think it's sweet that part of angel survived. maybe it's because it makes for cool fanart. maybe it's just cool. idk. also like that we got a solid explanation of what angel's powers were (influence over technology). i always thought her having control over it in bl2 might've been cuz it was hyperion tech and she had access to it same as she had access to the satellite from bl1. it wasn't super clear since it seemed like she could also materialize things like the ammo during her fight.

that also reminds me: all the dramatic reveals in this game felt kinda badly done.

the very first one with zer0/katagawa. like the whole time i was walking around looking for him i was trying to think why he might've turned/something must have happened to him or rhys. everyone was saying it was undeniably zer0. i finally meet him and take one look at his bright ass maliwan armor and its like. really. you couldnt have made it anymore obvious that thats not zer0. and then his helmet gets knocked off and surprise! it's not him. i totally didnt already figure that out with one glance 10 seconds ago. (maybe even earlier when you got glimpses of him around the building but i always missed it cuz i was looking at the fish tanks n shit)

also the tannis reveal. she was speaking to me in the same way that only known siren characters could. weird unexplained things were happening and seemed to be related to tannis. i wonder if she's a siren? surprise! she's a siren.

tyreen and troy knew about the great vault through some unknown means. typhon was talking about having a son and a daughter who he told stories about the great vault. typhon calls tyreen his daughter a while later and lilith acts surprised like honey ur a little slow, i figured that out several lines ago.

basically i'm not saying they were so obvious that i knew from the beginning of the game; i only figured them out a little before they were outright stated. but it was enough that it kinda ruined the effect and the characters acting surprised only when it was blatantly spelled out for them just made it annoying.

i feel like most of this is pretty negative, but i don’t mean that i hate the game and was miserable playing it. it was honestly okay...like i said i wanted to like it, but gearbox hates me specifically and killed/ruined all my faves just to spite me sooo...*waves hand back and forth in a sort of “ehhh” gesture*. i think my opinion on bl games from most to least fav would be: tftbl, bltps, bl2, bl3, and bl1. so it’s not the worst, but deeefinitely not one of my faves. i mean jack’s not in it (or if he is he doesn’t have a big role) so it’s already at a huge disadvantage. the ending was ok, it was all dramatic n stuff and it kinda makes sense i guess, but it was just about as okay as the rest of the game really. i don’t hate it but it’s not great either yknow?

#equishit #bl3 spoilers

24 notes · View notes

queerhargreeves · 6 years ago

Text

Big Brothers Need Help Too

Diego’s usual stoic silence lasts longer than normal. His siblings take notice, because of course they do.

sOOO tumblr ate the inbox request?? a wonderfully kind anon asked me to write a diego-centric fic where he doesn’t talk for a while and the siblings take notice!! i’ve been in a writing rut for a while, but this prompt broke me out of it. dear anon you are like my diego-angst soul mate!!! so pls, if you’re out there and wanna talk diego......im all ears!!

The Hargreeves siblings have been together post apocalypse for a few months now. And they’re mostly okay. They’re alive, and that’s all the matters right? Well, almost everyone is. Grace and Pogo are gone, but billions of lives are not. Hell, even Ben is as back as he can be. They’ve spent the last few months healing in their own ways.

It’s been a tough six months for all of them. Vanya’s training has been long and intensive, but she’s gotten stronger. Her siblings have forgiven her for everything even if she hasn’t fully forgiven herself. She probably never will. Diego insists on giving her a ride to every rehearsal, making sure she gets to the auditorium and back safely. Allison and Klaus drag her out of her room and makes her join them on their nail party nights; even if she usually settles with a clear top coat or nude color she will happily paint Klaus’ nails nine different colors.

Luther, the most aloof and ignorant of them all, has finally started to accept that he is a victim of trauma: A victim of Sir Reginald Hargreeves, just like his siblings. He’s been ashamed of being seen for so long that he would purposely isolate himself from his brothers and sisters. He knows what he’s done to hurt them, what Reginald drilled into his brain was the correct thing to do. He’d flinch at any contact with his siblings, retracting so quickly as if their touch burned him. They all notice, because of course they do. He’s getting better about it though. With Klaus sprawling his legs over his knees on the couch and Diego’s shoulder massages after their sparring, how could he not. Their casual touches is slowly bringing the big man out of the shell that he’s never stepped foot out of before.

Allison’s life as America’s Sweetheart came to an end. The power that destroyed her life has been forcibly stripped away. This new loss, this disability, is something she’s had a hard time coming to terms with. Her brothers and sister help her in every way they can. Diego was the first to go to an ASL class with her, the rest of the siblings promptly went after. Vanya would always offer her voice to talk to her daughter, to be her interpreter.

Five, the man who went through literal hell for the sake of his family, is now learning how to actually exist. Being a person is so much harder than he had ever imagined. He was focused for so long on one thing: surviving. Five never really thought about what to do after that. He doesn’t remember a life before ashes, fumes, and a sea of nothingness. He doesn’t remember a life before killing, before taking orders. Diego is the first person to notice when Five gets lost in his head at the dinner table, his fork shaking lightly in his hand and his eyes looking far off. He’s somewhere else. Diego would simply lay a gentle hand on the smaller man’s shoulder. It was grounding. Five doesn’t quite know who he is yet, but shopping trips to the mall with Allison and Klaus and movie nights with Ben and Vanya are certainly good places to start finding out.

Ben, although he’s only able to be corporeal for 7 hours max a day, has had to do his own adjusting. Sometimes he forgets he can be seen, touched. The touches can be overwhelming, the locked eyes too intimate. Diego and Klaus are patient with him. They understand that sometimes he just wants to be corporeal and alone and they give him the agency he deserves to do so. But he’s grateful to be apart of his family again even for a little while at a time.

Klaus has been sober for six months, the longest he’s ever gone since he was 13. He has never been able to go longer than 30 days without relapsing so 188 days is a huge feat. His siblings have held him through the terrible dope sickness, the bone rattling shakes, the nausea. Allison would silently tuck herself in his bed in the middle of the night after hearing him scream in the middle of the night, muttering heart wrenching words about war and his lost love. He’d sob in her embrace as she’d run her hands thru his curls, whispering kind affirmations until her throat begged her to stop. Diego would and has dropped anything to take the man out on a late night drive. Klaus wouldn’t even have to say a word. All it took was one look at his brother for Diego to know he needed to get out. The house, the mausoleum, had so much history - there were just too many of them. It didn’t matter where they went, Diego would drive for hours until if it meant Klaus would fall asleep in silence and safe.

Then there’s Diego. The now ex-vigilante has been one of the most solid constants for his siblings over the last six months. He’s been there for them through each of their traumas, their coping, and their recovery. He’s been an anchor for each of them in his own way, never asking for a thank you or any recognition of the sort. Diego has always been the softest of them all, not that he would ever admit it. Before their rankings were enforced, before they were taught that emotions were a sign of weakness, Diego was the most empathetic of the bunch. He’d pick Vanya up when she fell and scraped her knee in the courtyard, helping her over to their mom for a band aid. He’d always play tag with Luther and would let him win when he could see he was getting frustrated at losing. Diego was always a good, kind brother in his own way.

Which is why it shocked Klaus that no one noticed until now. Diego had never been much of a talker unless he was angry and felt the need to be defensive. His nonverbal communication was usually enough. And he’s been less angry, working on his impulse control and actually thinking through his feelings instead of immediately acting on them. A silent pat on the shoulder, a hug, a nod towards the door to signal a car ride was all it took for his siblings to know his intentions.

But this? This went beyond Diego’s usual causal stoic silence.

The siblings were sat around on one of their three living areas, the only one with a TV. Diego, Klaus, and Ben were on the three seater couch with Diego cushioned in the middle. Vanya and Allison curled up on the floral loveseat and Five and Luther sat on their own recliners. They were watching Disney movies, per Allison’s instance that Five be educated on some of the classics he had missed out on. They were on movie number two, Bambi. Vanya and Diego’s favorite.

“Hey Di,” Klaus started, voice soft as looked up from his place on Diego’s chest to meet his deep brown eyes, “Why is Bambi your favorite Disney film? It makes sense for Van, but I wouldn’t expect something like Bambi to be your cup of tea.”

Klaus could feel Diego’s body tense at the question, pursing his mouth in thin line before he settled on a quick shrug of his shoulders. Klaus cocked his head, not finding that answer completely satisfactory. There was no witty comeback, no snide remark. No backlash. Why isn’t he saying anything? The more he started to think about it, the more he realized something.

Diego hasn’t said a word all day. Wait, scratch that. He actually can’t remember the last time he heard his brother say anything. Something that hasn’t happened since they came home from an interview where Diego stuttered through an answer and was forcibly shoved in the tank for 36 hours.

“C’mon bro, this is a safe space and all.” Klaus shifted from his spot on Diego and straightened up, turning his body so he could look his brother straight in the eyes. “Tell me. Why is this your favorite movie?” He asked again, louder this time. Diego didn’t know how long ago the movie got paused but what he did know is that he wished he didn’t give Five the remote privileges for the night.

“Diego?” Vanya piped up, her voice small but full of concern. “What’s wrong...are you..?” She trailed off. This was so unlike her big brother.

Diego opened his mouth, his adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. His tongue was jammed in his mouth and nothing but strangled grunts escaped his lips. He gave up after a few moments, closing his eyes tight and sighing softly. He started to shrink in on himself, his usual usual strong presence turning into anything but.

“Oh Di.” Ben wrapped an arm around his shoulders. “Why didn’t you say anything sooner?”

Diego gave another shrug, his body releasing some of the tension he didn’t realize he was holding.

“Diego, how long has this exactly been going on?” Five asked cautiously, his voice lacking it’s usual edge and snark.

The six siblings watched as their brother struggled to form words. They all saw the shame start to wash over his face. He was becoming more red as each second passed. Diego started to close in on himself, but Ben’s arm was keeping him from completely slipping away. They knew he was almost scared of their reactions of what would come out of his mouth.

“Please, Diego we just want to help. It’s...it’s okay. Like Klaus said, safe space.” Luther affirmed, leaning forward from his seat and placing a firm grip on his knee and giving it a light squeeze. Allison cleared her throat until Diego met her eyes and gave a gentle smile.

“Please, we love you.” She signed and mouthed.

He took a deep breath, trying to remember what his mom told him all those years ago. Just picture the word in your mind, right? He knew his trigger letters, he knew to speak out the exhale of a breath if his stutter was particularly bad.

“S-since M-mon-m-monday.” He managed to get the answer out, his hands curling in tight fists and leaving moon imprints on his palms. God, this was a lot harder without Grace here.

Vanya eyes immediately narrowed at her brothers frustration and in one swift motion she plopped herself criss cross applesauce right in front of the man before he could break skin. She gently ran her hand on his knuckles and started massaging his wrist until he slowly released the firm grip.

“Monday?! Bro, that’s six freakin’ days!” Klaus exclaimed, his eyes widening.

“Diego, why didn’t you tell us? It’s just - you’ve helped us all so much. Like, with everything. Let us help you this time, yeah? I know you like being the strong, big brother all the time but it’s okay. You don’t think any less of me when you help me, right? Or Five?” Klaus stressed. Diego shook his head.

“Right! So don’t wait so long to confide when stuff comes up. I’m sorry I didn’t even think to see how you’ve been coping? We’ve all been so caught up in our own lives that it just. It shouldn’t of slipped - it won’t happen again.”

Diego nodded again, letting out a soft scoff.

“I-I-I th-thought I c-could g-get over it alone. But w-w-with-without m-mom…”

“Without mom, it’s hard, right?” Vanya finished a few seconds after Diego stopped, making sure she wasn’t speaking over him.

“It won’t be the same, and I can’t promise we’ll be as good as her. But we can try. All of us.” Five assured, the other five siblings agreeing and nodding their heads.

“It’s n-not that I-I-I don’t trust y-you guys,” Diego paused, thinking carefully on how to word the next statement.

“I-I just d-d-didn’t w-want to w-worry you. I’m s-sorry I didn’t s-say a-any-anything.”

“Honestly? I’d be lying if I said I’m not worried, Di.” Klaus started softly, “But we don’t have to go through this shit alone anymore, remember? You of all people should know that. You’ve taken me on more drives the last few months than I’ve been on in like, my entire life. You take Van to every rehearsal, you’re the best at ASL so far. You’ve always had the biggest ‘protective big bro’ energy and I’m sure even Lu over here can admit that.” To which Luthe agreed with a “true, true” at the statement.

“But that doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to lean on us when you need to.” Klaus ruffled Diego’s hair, causing a quiet giggle to erupt from the man.

“I think this calls for a Hargreeves group hug, no?” Allison whispered softly and signed.

“GROUP HUG!” Ben exclaimed, wrapping his other arm around Diego. The rest of the siblings jumped up and squashed themselves around each other, not daring to move for another 30 seconds.

“I-I know I c-c-can h-hold my b-breath, b-but I d-don’t think F-Five can.” Diego’s voice was barely audible, muffled from the center of the pile.

“Oh Diego, always the observant one.” Five gasped as they disbanded, heaving dramatically.

“I think Di deserves remote privileges for the rest of the night, no?” Vanya grinned, running her hand through her hair.

“The honor is yours. But please, no more Fight Club.” Five pleaded.

“Fine. K-k-karate k-kid.” Diego retorted, yanking the remote off the chair and collapsing back on the couch. Five rolled his eyes, but his tiny grin and prominent dimple always gave away his lack of annoyance.

“Karate Kid it is then.” Luther agreed.

Yeah, so maybe they weren’t perfect. But they were the only people who could even begin to understand what each other went through. They knew each other through and through. They knew each of their flaws, their insecurities, their defense mechanisms. That meant nothing goes unnoticed, but that always meant that nothing would go unsupported. The seven of them would be there for each other always - the spent entirely too long tearing one another apart. And they saw how that could’ve ended. They weren’t going to do that anymore, the Hargreeves made sure of that.

#diego is the best soft brother....#diego hargreeves #tua #the umbrella academy #the umbrella academy fanfiction #fanfic #tua fic #diego centric #sibling bonding #allison hargreeves #five hargreeves #luther hargreeves #vanya hargreeves #ben hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #fic

58 notes · View notes

matronaa · 7 years ago

Text

The Habits of My Heart || jjk

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Word count: 4,015 (holy fucc this is my longest one yet lmao)

Genre: Fluff, Angst ig idk, mention of smut? idk man dont ask me

A/N: This is kind of a vent post ?? I mean some of this is a real scenario and some isnt but like i needed to get some shit off my chest and this helped also this took so long and 4000 WORDS WAT i can normally barely get to 1.5k pls be proud okie bye

You had pushed the past memories into the back of your head, until now. Your years of high school flooded your mind once again when you saw him walk through the door. You knew it was a bad idea when you signed up for the music and band department at your university, but you had gotten rid of the constant anxiety after your first year ended. It was halfway through your second year, and you already regretted letting your best friend, Yoongi, sign you up again.

Through high school, you had avoided all music or instrumental courses to avoid a classmate of yours. Although you were never really friends, you had known him since middle school. Even though you used to talk, you completely hated him. You watched him turn into a complete fuckboy while going to school together, and despite knowing his ways, you still fell for him. It was something about his comforting and easy going demeanor that had you wrapped around his finger. Although you were almost completely sure you were in love with the boy, you refused to admit it. He could get any girl, and he knew it. He could barely go a month before he was in some girls pants, and there were hardly any girls that denied him. You were surprised he hadn’t gotten anyone pregnant. Though his player tendencies were always apparent, you still cared for him. Of course you didn’t want to, but it wasn’t under your control. He had subconsciously taken over your physical, emotional, and mental being. You slowly became more aware that your crush on him had escalated into something unhealthy. You were positive he knew you liked him, and him being who he was used this to play around with you. He would lead you on to believe he liked you, only to get a girlfriend and basically make out with her right in front of you. He did this numerous times, also sprinkling in times he was mad or ignored you for no reason. This sent you down a spiral depression, but at the end of the day he was always the last thing you thought of at night. You hated how you let him affect you, and you continued to blame yourself every day for the pain you went through. Even after high school, his name rang in your ears every time you saw something that reminded you of him. Jeon Jungkook. The boy who almost ruined music for you. Not necessarily listening to it, but you stopped loving it in the way you once did.

At your high school they offered rock band or singing classes in your music department, for teenagers who wanted to pursue a career or hobby in music. These two classes would collaborate to perform a battle of the bands every year. In your freshman year of high school, you signed up for the singing classes, where you learned how to perform and how to make or produce your own music. You had loved to sing and fell in love with the class. You were always in chorus or choir classes since elementary school, so you were amazed at the opportunity to not only sing whatever songs you want but to also write your own. You remembered when they announced the official battle of the bands' date, your friends basically attacked and forced you to sing for their band. You had agreed, wanting an excuse to hang out with them more, but you later regretted your decision. You soon found out Jeon Jungkook was the drummer for their band. It was so awkward at first, but you soon became friends. You had promised yourself you wouldn’t fall back into the loop you were in the years before, but you couldn’t ignore how much you loved the sound of his laugh, or how beautiful his smile was when directed at you. You found yourself prioritizing his happiness over yours, and you gave your heart what it wanted. Even after the battle of the bands, (which your band won) he continued to work with you when you wrote your own music. He seemed to love influencing the way you made music, often giving you advice on the audio. You sought after his approval, and although you had thought he changed, he returned to his old self. This continued on until you were both juniors. One late night you received a text from Jungkook right before you were going to go to sleep. You almost choked when you read his text.

1:07 am

I really like you, I hope you know that <3.

You didn’t believe him, and he spent almost 2 hours convincing you he did. He asked you out on a date that Friday, which you agreed to. The date was soon canceled to what you found the next day.

Mother nature had decided to pay a surprise visit, so you quickly rushed to the nearest bathroom to your class. You ran into the bathroom, hand already reaching into your purse to make sure you had a pad when you saw it. Jeon Jungkook, balls deep into your best friend. You gasped and locked eyes with Jungkook, then you looked at your friend.

“Don’t you ever fucking talk to me again. Either of you.” Was the last sentence you said before running out of the bathroom, down the hall, and into another to call your older sister to pick you up early.

Your depression was horrible, worse than ever. You sister talked you out of suicide multiple times, and you ended up staying home for a month before your parents signed you up to complete high school online. For the first few weeks you were gone, you continuously got texts from both Jungkook and your ex-best friend. After the second week, she had given up, but Jungkook continued to text and call. He did this until you finally answered and told him to fuck off. After that you never heard from them again. You thought you finally found people you could trust, people to make you happy. You were wrong, and they betrayed you and left like everyone before.

Although you stayed home often, you did make friends online. You met your best friend Yoongi in one of the live streamed classes you had to watch. When the professor asked a question for us to answer, Yoongi would always answer correctly, but not without a snarky remark. You couldn’t help but privately message him, and you both instantly clicked. You exchanged social media and soon numbers. You were inseparable, and you wouldn’t have it any other way. While getting to know him, you realized you had a lot in common. You both had depression and anxiety, and that influenced your taste in music and writing. When you graduated, you flew the hour flight to his town and finally met. He told you about the university he was going to attend, and about their music program. Although you were against it at first, he convinced you to send in an application. When you received the acceptance letter, you rented an apartment with Yoongi against your parents wishes. Although they were very supportive, they didn’t think moving in with someone you only knew for a year, let alone a boy, was a good idea. As much as they believed this, you knew the friendship you had with Yoongi was strictly platonic.

Your first year at the university was amazing. You made friends quickly, and you were never very stressed. All of your classes were fairly easy, as you were going for a degree in arts, so you had lots of free time. You and Yoongi often wrote songs together, him accompanying you on the piano or keyboard while you sang vocals. You were finally able to write out your anger for the boy who made school a living hell, and you never felt happier. That is until today.

You and Yoongi were sitting on the couch in the band room, your head in his lap as you both scrolled through social media. You heard a familiar voice from across the room, but you decided to ignore it as you watched a funny video on Instagram. You heard a laugh filled the room that made your heart drop. His laugh. You sat up and looked around the room, almost immediately locking eyes with him. Jungkook, the one you had successfully avoided until now. He flashed a small smile at you and waved shyly. He was wearing a red hoodie and black ripped jeans. You laid back down on Yoongi, ignoring him, and proceeded to spam your best friends messages.

“Y/N why are you texting me, you’re right next to me-” He began before you forcefully jammed your elbow in his stomach.

“Shut up and just text me,” you demanded.

You sat up and started to smack Yoongi, repeatedly saying how this wasn’t a joking matter as he continued to die laughing.

“Look, I’m hungry and I need an excuse to leave or else I’m going to die. Come with me and I’ll buy you lunch.” You said quietly. Yoongi gave in and stood up, and you followed him out of the band room.

Of course not before you and Jungkook locked eyes once again. You and Yoongi walked across the campus to the nearby McDonald’s, where you began to regret buying him food because he ordered some of the most expensive meals. How does a McDonald's order come to this much, you thought as you could almost hear your wallet crying out for help. You walked back towards campus while stuffing your face with fries and scrolling through Twitter. You didn’t normally get McDonald's because it was unhealthy, but you allowed yourself to indulge in their warm fries and delicious apple pies every once and awhile. You were about to show Yoongi something funny when he nudged you with your elbow. You looked up and saw Jungkook walking this way.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

“Hey Y/N! I haven’t seen you in so long!” He said, flashing his signature smile. Your heart dropped hearing his voice say your name once again.

“Hey Jungkook, how have you been.” You smiled as best as you could, trying not to show how nervous you were.

“Pretty good, just moved here so I’m still getting used to the place. How have you been?” You hated how he kept eye contact with you, it was one of those things that gave you a bunch of unnecessary butterflies.

“I’ve been good. Oh, and this is my friend Yoongi.” You said introducing him, needing a topic so there wouldn’t be any awkward silence.

“Hey man, nice to meet you.” Jungkook and Yoongi shook hands and you prayed for Jungkook to say-

“So I have to go to my last class for the day, but I’ll see you around,” Jungkook said.

“Alright, see you!” Yes! You were so happy he actually had to be somewhere. You and Yoongi waved goodbye as Jungkook began to walk in the opposite direction. You turned back to start walking to the band room when you nearly collapsed because of the bottled up nerves.

You felt bad after you forced Yoongi to listen to your 2-hour rant on how you never wanted to see Jungkook again and that the universe hated you, but he was your best friend and signed up for this when he signed the lease to your apartment. A few weeks past and your music class began to get less awkward than in the beginning. There was no point to try and ignore Jungkook because he was the type to never get the hint. You could ignore him for weeks and he’d still try and talk to you.

You walk into class one day with Yoongi to see a new assignment on the board. The teacher immediately lost his title of favorite teacher as you read the details. “You have 4 weeks to form a group, write and produce a song, and make it performance ready. Today will mark day one, form a group and plan out the most effective strategy to complete this task.” You started telling yourself in your head that it would be fine, and that Jungkook probably had his own band already with his set of friends. You began forming your group with Yoongi on the keyboard, your friend Jennie on guitar, and your other friend Lisa helping you with vocals. You realized you needed a drummer and you mentally cursed yourself. You walked over to one of your friends, Min Hyuk and asked him if he could join your band. You weren’t very close, but you talked often since you had a lot of classes with him the year before.

“Sorry, I’m already in someone's band. I think Jungkook is free though.” He smiled softly, completely unaware of your predicament.

“It's fine, thank you though.” You walked back to Yoongi after saying your goodbye, silently freaking out.

“Yoongi we’re fucked.”

“No, we aren’t” He chuckled.

“The only drummer left is Jungkook which I am not okay with.” You whispered to him.

“Ask him to be in the band, or I will.” He said sternly.

“Fine.” You whined as you walked across the room to where Jungkook was sitting, his focus down at his phone. “Jungkook.”

“O-oh hey Y/N, you scared me.” He jumped as he noticed your figure standing next to him. You watched him pull his earbuds out of his ear and you realized he didn’t hear you when you called his name.

“Hey, I wanted to ask if you wanted to join my group, we need a drummer.” You asked shyly, still unable to look him in the eye for too long.

“Yeah sure, of course.” He said as he stood up, smiling down at you. You both walked back to the group.

“I found a drummer!” You said, glaring at Yoongi. Lisa and Jennie introduce themselves to Jungkook and you all begin to work on a plan to complete the assignment. You decided that you would meet every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday to work on the song but for now to just think of what to write the song about.

Due to popular demand and the ease, you decided to write a song about heartbreak. You were all sitting in you and Yoongi’s living room floor, sharing past stories that could relate to the topic in hopes of coming up with at least the chorus. You had slightly zoned out after Lisa’s story, as you didn’t want to bring up details from your own memories. Sadly, it was soon your turn to share your experience.

“Yah, Y/n, share your story!” Jennie said excitedly, flashing her adorable grin.

“Um.. well..” God, you hated being put on the spot. It gave you so much anxiety. “I just fell in love with someone I thought cared about me. But obviously, he didn’t.” You ended with a nervous chuckle.

“Give us details~ I want to hear the whole story.” Yoongi dragged on, earning a glare from you. Yoongi obviously already knew the entire story, and basically lived it through your past late night mental breakdowns.

“Well…. I knew him for a while,” You started as you brought your knees up to your chest, wrapping your arms around them. You placed your chin on your arms and stared at the floor in front of you as you continued, “He was a playboy, and knew very well he could get any girl. I promised myself I wouldn’t fall for him of course, but I did. And he knew that.” You glanced up at Jungkook and immediately began to drown in his soft brown eyes. However, this time you saw something different in them. A hint of sadness, regret even. Although you didn’t mean for him to know you were talking about him, of course he could tell. “I wouldn’t say he used that against me, but I felt used almost constantly. But I looked past that because we were young and stupid, and I knew he was a good person. In the end, he lied to me and pretended to like me, just to fuck my best friend.”

You watched Jungkook slightly cringe at the last sentence. You almost let yourself feel bad for being so harsh and blunt, but it was his own fault. He’s the one who made the mistakes, the only mistake you made was falling for him.

“That's fucked up…” Lisa said, her eyes filled with sympathy. Almost immediately brightened right back up as she turned to the only person who hadn’t told a story. “What about you Jungkook? Have you ever had your heart broken?” It was obvious she had a crush on him, but she hadn’t admitted it yet and you decided not to ask.

“Hah, usually I’m the heartbreaker,” He winked, “No, seriously though? I have.”

You looked at him, both confusion and surprise plastered across your face. Since when did Jeon Jungkook have a heart?

“Like in Y/n’s experience, we knew each other for a while, and I fell in love almost instantly. In fact, I don’t remember a time that I didn’t love her.” Jungkook let out a sad chuckle as he leaned back against the bottom of the couch, his hands falling into his lap. You glanced away, but almost immediately felt his eyes burning a hole into you. You were always sensitive to his gaze, and prolonged eye contact with him tended to make you lightheaded. “But I made a bunch of mistakes, and although we were friends I turned her against me. I used to do that a lot.”

“Do what a lot?” Yoongi asked, his head tilting in curiosity.

“Turn my friends against me. I ended up losing all my friends in high school by the end of senior year. I was a horrible and selfish person back then. Luckily, I was able to apologize to almost everyone I hurt. Except for her.”

You turned to look at him again, and the hint of regret that you saw before turned into a sad, apologetic haze. He seemed to zone out as he was flooded with memories he had pushed to the back of his mind.

“W-what would you say to her if you could apologize.” Your voice seemed to falter, but no one else seemed to notice. Something told you he was talking about you, but there was no way. He couldn’t have actually loved you.

He stared deep into your eyes, into your soul. A glare you only remembered seeing in the most intimate and serious times you had with Jungkook, and you gave into his eyes as his voice gave you shivers down your spine as it went down an entire octave.

“I’d tell her I still loved her, and even if she never forgave me or if she didn’t care about me anymore, I’d still love her.”

_____________

“Okay, we’ll meet again on Monday, have a good night!” You said as you saw everyone out. You had finally finished the chorus for the song and decided to call it a night. You watched Lisa and Jennie walk out before you turned back to Jungkook gathering his things into his backpack.

“Hey, Kook, can I talk to you?” You asked quietly and he nodded in response. You brought him back to the kitchen and leaned against the counter. He seemed to copy you and leaned against the dishwasher across from you.

“What’s up?” He said, nervously.

“Uhm… Who were you talking about? Like we went to the same high school, so I was just wondering.” You wondered out loud. Jungkook's eyes flickered around the room, and he was obviously ansty. He sighed before answering.

“I think you know who I was talking about.” He said in a low voice, similar to earlier. He slowly walked over to stand right in front of you, and you were only inches apart.

“Oh really?” You said, raising an eyebrow. You felt yourself giving into him once again. No, no, no, no. Y/n, shut up you flirty bastard this is not the time. “Who?” Jungkook leaned in closer, pinning you with his body gripping the counter on each side of you. You could feel his breath fan over you, his eyes piercing through every defense you had against him.

“You.” He said before you felt his lips against yours. God knows how hard you tried to bring yourself to stop, but his lips were too soft and you were too weak. You felt his hands against your hips and you instinctively brought your hands up to tangle your fingers in his hair. His tongue grazed your bottom lip and you instantly granted him entrance. He gripped your hips once again as he lifted you to sit on the counter before settling himself comfortably in between your legs. You moaned into his mouth as his hands traveled up under your shirt, only to return down to your hips the back again. He seemed to know every way to please you, which only made it easier to get his way with you. His lips drifted from yours down to your jawline, causing you to gasp softly as he sucked against your skin, raising bruises to the surface. He continued down to your collarbone.

Suddenly he stopped, his hands comfortably wrapping around you, pressing your body against his. He rested his forehead on your shoulder and lost himself in your scent. God, he missed you, but he never allowed himself to truly show to what extent. Your hands left his hair and fell over his shoulders. You leaned your head against his and relaxed into the hug, taking advantage of his closeness.

“I love you…” He whispered, in a way that he didn’t really expect you to hear him.

“I love you too…” You sighed, causing him to pull away.

“Wait really?” He asked, surprised by your response.

“Yes, you dumbfuck now keep hugging me.” You said as you grabbed at the air between you, signaling that you wanted him to come back to you. He leaned back into your arms before wrapping his hands under your thighs, picking you up.

“Which one is your room?” He asked as you leaned your head on his shoulder.

“First one on the right.” You yawned, the feeling of tiredness overcoming your senses. You closed your eyes and heard Jungkook open your bedroom door. He turned on the light before setting you down on your bed.

“You’re such a baby when you’re sleepy.” He chuckled as you slowly crawled under your sheets.

“Shut up and come cuddle.” You smiled, your eyes still closed as you finally settled under your blanket and waited for Jungkook to join you. When he did, you noticed he wasn’t wearing the hoodie he once was. You scooted closer to him and felt him wrap his arms around you once again. Your nose pressed into the crook of his neck, inhaling his scent. You noticed he smelled different from in high school. It was more of a warm, comforting smell than his old cool and confident scent. You had fully given in to all that was Jungkook, and although everything in your being told you you shouldn’t be here with him, you were. And you loved every minute of it.

You loved every minute of Jungkook nervously trying to ask you to be his girlfriend. You loved every minute of his ‘weekly movie nights’ that included you both falling asleep on the couch, tangled up together. You loved every minute of him showing up without warning in the middle of the night, claiming he couldn’t fall asleep without you next to him. You loved his smile and the laugh you could bring out of him from your shared sense of humor, You loved the full year he waited before asking to have sex. And you loved every minute of the feeling of his hands roaming over you as you finally connected in a way you only dreamed of. You were truly in love with the man who slept next to you, and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

A/n: If you have any requests please feel free to suggest them, im slowly running out of ideas and i need some lmaoo

#jungkook #BTS jungkook #bts one shot #bts imagines #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #Jungkook oneshot #bts bangtan boys #jungkook x reader #bts yoongi #yoongi #min yoongi

100 notes · View notes

honeypiehotchner · 6 years ago

Text

dancing on my own -- part nine

Oh hello. *hides behind a blanket* I have had a very rough couple of weeks but writing this cuteness has helped me a tiny bit so I hope it makes you smile :)

Words: 1,710

Summary: More con shenanigans, basically.

Warnings: fluff, probably bad writing, but hey I’m trying my best here and I’m really tired I haven’t slept in so long so pls be gentle

EDIT like five seconds after I hit post: Shoot, here’s the masterlist.

~~~ “Dickchat!”

“Shh! Rich!”

“It’s Dickchat.”

“She’s asleep.”

I stir, rubbing my forehead against the softest surface I find.

“Dammit, Rich!”

“Dickchat.”

“Get away from me.”

I finally open my eyes, giggling at the two of them. They bicker like an old married couple. If anyone didn’t know them and heard their arguments, they’d probably think they were married. I swear.

“She’s awake!” Rich pauses, bringing his phone back out.

“Dickchat!”

“Dickchat,” I reply, humoring him. And as expected, he cheers and walks away, posting the Snapchat a little too triumphantly. I shake my head before turning to look at Rob. “How long was I knocked out?”

“Half an hour,” he replies. “You okay?”

I nod, smiling softly. “I’m good. Sorry for using your shoulder as a pillow.”

But he shakes his head then, dismissing my apology. “Anytime.”

I try not to grin, stretching my legs and arms out in front of me. “When’s lunch supposed to get here?”

“I don’t even know.” He glances around the room. “I thought Rich was bringing it back.”

“Who knows,” I shrug. I pull my phone out from under my leg, checking my text messages.

>Anna-banana: Wanna go to Hardrock for lunch?

>Anna-banana: Shoot the wait is too long I chuckle at the screen. We live here and she knows how busy Hardrock Café is.>Anna-banana: Are you workinggg

And then as I’m reading her messages, I see another one come through.

>Anna-banana: Nevermind. I saw what you were doing 😉

I quickly dim the brightness on my screen, not that it matters anyway, because Rob has picked his guitar back up and is more focused on that right now, but still.

>Hush!! I may or may not have taken a short nap

>Where did y’all end up going for lunch??

She tells me they went to somewhere in Midtown, dad deciding to move the car and everything because that’s how he is. Thankfully they’re back now because Anna has a photo with Misha soon. I promise to meet her in the room to see Misha.

“There’s lunch,” Rob breathes, nodding toward the door where Billy, Stephen, and Mike are coming in, arms full of pizza boxes.

>We’re having pizza, want some?

It takes my sister, possibly the biggest lover of pizza I know, less than six seconds to reply.

>Anna-banana: PLEASE>YOU JUST ATE

>Anna-banana: SO?

>I’m coming to get you. Crazy.

“I have to go get my sister,” I inform Rob as I push myself off the floor. He does the same, standing and leaning his guitar back up against the wall.

“I’ll come with you,” he offers.

And part of me, the part of me that knows how Anna is, immediately wants to tell Rob that I’ll be fine, I’ll just be right back. But then he smiles, bumping his shoulder against mine as he shifts around waiting for my answer. And I can’t tell him no.

“Sure,” I smile. “Come on.”

We make our way through the people starting to get pizza, passing by Kim, Bri, Ruth, and Rachel who all give me knowing looks – except Bri, she downright gives me a suggestive look that nearly causes me to burst into laughter right there.

As soon as we’re out in the hallway and away from everyone – most notably Rich, who would be the one to tease Rob the most – Rob bumps his shoulder into mine again.

I glance over at him with a smile, bumping my shoulder with his.

“Can I…hold your hand?”

The warmth in my chest spreads so violently that I nearly collapse, nodding my head and watching as his face splits into a grin. He threads our fingers together then, squeezing my hand tightly before bringing the back of my hand to his lips in a gentle kiss.

I don’t know how I’m still walking. I swear my legs feel like they could give out on me at any moment.

We turn the corner, almost out into the main area where I told Anna to meet me.

“Do you wanna get dinner tonight?” Rob blurts.

My eyes find his, my eyebrows furrowing. “When?”

“After the concert,” he replies. “I’d have to shower and all, but we could grab something together. Or room service, if you wanna do that—”

“Don’t you want to go to SNAP in Bri’s room?”

“I thought you weren’t going.”

“I’m not,” I smile, shaking my head. Bri and I have already talked about it. There’s usually alcohol there; that’s the whole point. And just because I don’t drink and I don’t trust myself around large amounts alcohol at the moment doesn’t mean I want everyone else to suffer. And she understood that, so SNAP is continuing as planned, and we can have another slumber party sometime soon to make up for me missing it. “But I don’t want you to not go just because I’m not.”

“No, I just wanna take you to dinner.”

“Robert Patrick Benedict,” I tease. “Did you just ask me out on a date?”

“I think so,” he laughs. “I’m not sure if you said yes or not though.”

We stop at the double doors that open up into the convention hall, our fingers still intertwined with one another. We know we’ll have to put the distance between us again when the doors open, half for our own sakes and half because…the fans spread information quick and we both haven’t really established what exactly this is just yet.

Knowing this, I lean forward and press a kiss to his cheek. “Yes.”

He exhales dramatically – or knowing him, he really was that nervous. “Cool.”

I laugh loudly, pushing against his chest, our hands falling away from each other. I shake my head as I grab my phone, seeing a text from Anna telling me she’s outside.

But before I can open the door, Rob is pulling me into his arms, taking a deep breath. I do the same without thinking, letting myself enjoy the feeling that is a hug from Rob – he gives the best ones, sorry Jensen.

“I’m supposed to be feeding my sister.”

“I know.”

“Rob.”

“Fine,” he whines. “I get to take you to dinner.”

“Yes,” you nerd, “you get to take me to dinner.”

I push the doors open, Rob following behind me as I search the hall for Anna. Thankfully she is close to where I asked, so we don’t spend too much time out there. I’m never recognized near as much as Rob is at these things, even though he swears he is not that popular.

He’s wrong, in case you were wondering.

Anna spots Rob behind me and immediately grins, causing me to give her a near death glare in the process.

“Hey Rob.”

“Hey Anna,” he smiles, pulling her in for a side hug as we walk back through the doors into the back hall.

“Did you have a good nap?”

“Anna!”

I’m going to kill her.

But all Rob does is grin, giving me a mischievous look. “It was nice. I had someone snoring next to me, but…”

I gasp, shoving his shoulder which only causes him to dissolve into laughter. “I don’t snore.”

He gives me a look.

“Okay, alright,” I chuckle, wrapping my arm around my sister’s shoulders. “Let’s go get pizza and leave the judgment behind.”

“Oh!” Rob laughs loudly, moving to walk on the other side of me.

“Are you singing tonight?”

I turn to look at my sister. “Yeah. Why?”

She shakes her head. “Just wondering. People have been saying you are but I hadn’t heard.”

“Well I guess I really am now,” I laugh, nudging Rob in his side, bringing his eyes back to mine. “Are we practicing later?”

“We need to,” he nods. “We’ll have time.”

The walk to the green room is shorter than I remember, but I guess Rob and I walked a little slower.

As soon as the door opens and the girls spot Anna, though, they are pouncing on her with bear hugs before she has time to think.

“Did you leave any pizza for us?” I tease.

Rich is the first to answer me. “Mm, maybe.”

I smack him on the head with a plate, grabbing Anna a slice of cheese and me a slice of pepperoni. I take her plate back to her, still marveling at how she can eat pizza when she just got back from eating lunch. The girls have her caught up in conversation, though, and I swear they like her more than they like me.

I jump a little when I feel a soft touch on my elbow, turning to see Rob standing by me, a plate of pizza in hand.

“Do you wanna come sit over there?”

I glance toward where his head nodded, finding an empty table…where two drinks and some napkins are already set out with breadsticks. I give him a look, whispering, “Are you asking for a pre-date before our actual date?”

He looks around, acting like he’s contemplating his answer before he finally says, “Maybe.”

I chuckle, shaking my head. “Sure. I’d love to.”

We make our way over to the table, ignoring the comments we know the rest of the room are silently sharing. We’ve gone from denying it straight to their faces, subtly showing some signs, to now eating lunch together as a semi-date all in the span of one day.

I need a breather. I think I’m getting whiplash here.

But in all honesty, it doesn’t even feel like that. I don’t feel winded or like this needs to slow down because we’re moving too fast. Oddly enough, I feel like we have returned to old times. When we would eat lunch together at a separate table, when we would have an acoustic jam session together, when we would take naps on one another, when we would talk and laugh and genuinely have a good time hanging out with one another. It’s back to…normal, I guess. This has always been our normal. The only difference now is that we’re not necessarily denying feelings anymore.

Which is weird to say. I’ve spent the past six years since I’ve met him avoiding my feelings and denying it to oblivion.

I guess we’ve both gotten tired of doing that.

~~~

Tags (Or should I start calling you guys my Rob peeps? I have other Rob stories drafted...): @itsfunnierin-enochian @sirraxa @sherlockedtash88 @shanghai88 @natasha-cole @rblstrash

11 notes · View notes