#( god i missed this thread help )
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starlight---starbrights · 5 months ago
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Undertale yellow flowey embroidery
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This took about 40 hours, give or take a few
#I can tell you one thing#Embroidering while having arthritis is really not a piece of cake. When you hand cramps just by holding it at an angle.#At least I can be grateful for my empty schedule#Makes embroidering till the sun rises back up so much easier#Insomnia also helps with this task#I was listening to the ost while working on it and… Live reaction#Occupied turf is so good actually !? Why wasn’t it shown more often !? IT’S FIRE !?#I forgot I only did a pacifist so I got so confused when neutral Flowey came out…#A mother’s love ? Should’ve called this “I’m gonna fuck you up”#The number of time I got my ass handed back to me in this fight is not even funny#The first time is great. The second I only discern my favorites and the sudden change in style. By the third loop I can’t recognize shit#my brain is melting and my eyes are on fire…#Advantages on doing it during daytime. Eyes hurt less. Good stupid tv to listen to in the background Disadvantages. People#Advantages on doing it at night. Alone. Personally work better at night#Disadvantages. No good TV. Time goes by slower…? I don’t know maybe I’m just loosing it with those freaking petals#For reference one petal took me about 3 and a half hours. So yeah… I thought it would never end… Took out almost all my yellow.#When the line tangles itself in the back and you realize only close to the end of it that half went missing#So you have to go backward to entangle it and loose 30 mins because damn it#Cats are not helpful in any of those scenarios#Why do I feel the need to make the back perfect when nobody else but me will know#This is the last time I do one so big without thinking it through#Note to self. Don’t do it standing up when the cats are awake. She just destroyed my stomach#I think i’m losing it#Back after a few weeks#God this white thread is doing my head in… I’m willing to bet my leg half the time I spent on the face was me untangling it.#I’m almost done. It’s finally over. Dark brown took exactly 4 h and 13 mins#undertale#undertale yellow#embroidery#I’m thinking of doing Boris the wolf next. Because I just found the perfect rendition to put on my wall
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hauntingblue · 7 months ago
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I am rewatching episode 1015 and ace accidentally says luffy's dream but it might be the forreal one not the pirate king.... so yamato knows
#THATS WHY YAMATO IS SO INSPIRED!!!#i mean roger says he wants to go to raftel (not why) and they will become the greatest pirate grup... being pirate king is consequential#he wanted to go to raftel for other reasons... treasure but we dont know what that treasure is yet but its not gold so.....#ace and sabo laughing at luffy having his dream but then believing in him..... img retrospective what a gift#ace unknowingly saying good things about his father always hits.... girl help... the government propaganda worked ON HIS SON!!!!!#the fucking paralel between ace falling from luffy and yamato falling to the ground is devastating never getting over it#ace cheering on yamato when he starts to fight his father..... omg..... did i miss this...#still wondering what was the deal with toki... she was from 800 years ago!!!! and then oden knows when luffy will show up???#she knew about joyboy returning??? well if thats whats written on the poneglyphs (or something related to it) then it must have been#common knowledge back then??? thats why it spread until now as a legend?? but she being the only one from there actually knows the details??#i need to do my conspiracy corkboard fr when i finish midterms.... i will go full on insane i havent reached my full potential#god!!!!#this part with kinemon is so brutal....#the red rock attack in rememberanve of ace.... somebody sedate me...... GOD!! 10/10!!! MATSERPIECE#talking tag#watching one piece#the fact that he wants to be pirate king so he can accomplish his dream... all this time i have been thinking WHY he wants to be pirage king#and obv for his freedom but he is not selfish so.... for everyone's..... luffy...............#i have been circling this idea since i watched this episode and it doesnt evolve but its just so good.... luffy the man that you are.....#pulling threads#pulling strings
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xsilver-wings · 1 year ago
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@dionsblood
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XIA let out a small hum, tilting her head to the side. ❝Most do, yes, but not all,❞ she told him. If she could spare even one dragon, she felt accomplished. She smiled a little and leaned back in her chair. ❝You are correct there. If I could talk him down from it, I would, but I highly doubt he would listen. Alduin is stubborn.❞
❝IT only spoils it if you want to wait and believe what all the bards will write,❞ she laughed a little, although she was not looking forward to the tales that would be written in her name. If she could ban people from doing that, she would. ❝When I face him next,❞ she told him, ❝I will have to use a shout that brings him to the ground. It will be the only way I have any advantage over him.❞
SHE played with her cup, contemplating that mission in her head. She did not necessarily look forward to fighting Alduin. It wasn't just because she didn't like the idea of fighting a dragon, but that Alduin was quite powerful. It was going to take a lot, and she just hoped it didn't take her life in the process.
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thefixeraa · 2 years ago
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... starter call , @strnza : accepting .
" those stupid fuckin' nike's are the bane of my existence . " mia is of course , talking about the pair of old white nikes in the corner of the room . the same one's that still somehow look brand spankin' new . " how he manages to keep those things clean is beyond my comprehension . i mean ... does tig have a clean pair of shoes ? " mia already feels like she knows the answer to that one .
THROUGH THE DIRT , AND THROUGH THE BLOOD SPLATTER . there only seems to be a few blemishes on an all white canvas shoe . not entirely noticeable unless you really get up close . when you think of a outlaw biker , what do you imagine ? rugged and grungy ... a man that reeks of booze and cigarettes . you imagine a man who wears a pair of dirty old boots that may or may not have someone else's brain matter on it . it seems that jackson was all biker from the ankles up .
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" every time i look at them , all i want to do is throw them in the trash and then light that trash bin on fire . " DRAMATIC ? oh yes ... the brunette shakes her head , she'll be happier knowing she'll never have to see them again . she then nods her head in the direction of a box that sits on the kitchen counter . a new pair of boots sits on the surface like a presentation , steel toe and genuine leather . NOW THESE WERE A PAIR OF BIKER BOOTS . " i'm gonna surprise him with those later on , you think he'll like them ? "
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poswiecenia · 5 months ago
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@inblazes, mail delivery.
Dear Adelinde, I thought that it may put everyone's mind at ease if I sent a letter home. Please do not worry about me; I have not done anything rash or without thought, and I have no intentions of returning to you-know-where. Presently, I am staying in Fontaine with a trusted friend -- one who has offered me some choice words of advice and a safe haven outside of the public eye. Here's hoping that you will forgive me for the abruptness of my exit from Mondstadt. I desperately needed some time away to gather my thoughts and reconsider my actions going forward. I feel great shame for the way I had acted leading up to my absence. I shall let you know when I decide to return. For now, I need a rest break, and I believe that Mondstadt may very well be safer without my interference. Please accept my sincere apologies for the trouble I have caused the house. If Kaeya wishes to stay at any point while I am not home, then please allow it. Send him my regards if you see him. Yours, Master Diluc.
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( 🧹 ) Dear Master Diluc,
It is good to hear from you , you had me worried to where i'd almost asked for the adventurers guild within the city to put up a commission for the Traveler to pick up when she had the time . .
But I am gladdened to hear that you are alright. And with company that you can trust to give you guidance and relief away from home and provide advice on what to do going forth after what happened.
I do not know what you have established or discussed with this trusted friend of yours but I would implore you to return home soon ---- at least when you feel that you can. No rush, Master Diluc, hurt can be resolved in time . . but please do not keep us waiting 'fore we all miss you. Even Master Kaeya, as hurt as he is.
Truthfully I was worried when I couldn't find you within the grounds of the Winery or even inside the manor . . but quickly assumed that you were somewhere safe. Or, rather, that was my hope. I'm glad that I was right to trust such.
Oh hush, mistakes happen, darling. You've caused no harm in the long term. We both know that it will be resolved in time . . but you know it should not be my forgiveness that you should seek - but if it brings comfort I will accept it on behalf of the staff of the manor itself.
Know that even if you did not I would allow him regardless. He is still a Ragnvindr even if his last name is legally changed. I did so in your four year absence, I hope you can forgive me, Master Diluc.
But know that I will. I paid him a visit prior to our conversation in your office . .
The ink on the last dot point seemed to have bled on the page , as if its writer had taken a moment to think on what they'd wanted to say . .
Don't be a stranger, Master Diluc. Master Kaeya needs his brother but please , please, have a pleasant rest period and stay safe.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do,
Best, Miss Adelinde.
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thef1diary · 6 months ago
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I just watched the f1 never have I ever video and Charles says that he has missed a flight and it was his fault that he missed it so can you write a smut piece where he was with reader and he lost track of time? 😉😏
Dangerous Distraction | C. Leclerc
Summary: Charles misses his flight because of you
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warnings: 18+ smut, oral (fem receiving), slight overstimulation
pairing: charles x fem!reader
wc: 1.4k
masterlist
© thef1diary 2024. all rights reserved. Do not copy, steal, translate, or repost any of my work
“never have I ever missed a flight?”
CL: “I have, more than once”
“was it your fault?”
CL: “oh yeah, yeah”
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You were sprawled out on the plush bed, wrapped in a soft comforter as you watched Charles packing his suitcase with a determined focus. He moved around the room, trying to neatly fold his clothes before placing them in his suitcase. As time went on, his crisp folds turned into a pile of rumpled clothes that will surely have creases when he would unpack them on the other side of the world.
He couldn't maintain his focus on the mundane task; his gaze kept drifting toward you, especially when you shifted in bed, giving him a tantalizing glimpse of your bare legs.
"Need any help?" you teased, your voice soft and inviting.
Charles paused, a smirk playing on his lips as his eyes locked onto yours. "You're a dangerous distraction," he murmured, abandoning his suitcase to walk over to the bed.
You smiled, reaching out to grab his hand and pull him closer. "Maybe you need a break," you suggested seductively.
Charles climbed up onto the bed, his weight causing the mattress to dip slightly. He leaned in, capturing your lips in a slow, intoxicating kiss. Moaning into his mouth, you could taste a mix of mint and something uniquely Charles. His hands moved to the edge of the comforter, pulling it down to reveal more of your bare skin.
He pulled back slightly, his gaze trailing down your body. "God, you're beautiful," he whispered, watching goosebumps rise on your skin as he trailed his fingers down your chest, hardening your nipples with a delicate touch.
You felt a blush rise to your cheeks, the warmth of his touch sent shivers down your spine, and you responded eagerly, your hands roaming over his chest and back.
"You're impossible to resist," he whispered against your lips, his breath hot and filled with desire.
"Then don't resist," you replied, your voice a husky invitation that he didn't think twice before accepting.
Charles eyes darkened with lust as he lowered himself beside you, his hands exploring every inch of your body. He kissed you deeply, his tongue dancing with yours as his fingers traced a path down your side. You arched into his touch, a soft moan escaping your lips as he found all the places that made you shiver with pleasure.
He pulled back slightly, his gaze intense as he looked at you. "I should be packing," he said, though his voice lacked any real conviction.
You smiled, running a hand through his hair. "You have some free time."
He hummed, "and I plan to make the most of it." He trailed featherlight kisses down your throat, not leaving an inch of skin untouched.
He claimed your lips again in a passionate kiss, his hands roaming all over your body with a sense of urgency. You melted into his touch, your fingers threading through his hair as you pulled him even closer. The kiss deepened, becoming more fervent as the minutes ticked by unnoticed.
He pulled back to quickly strip off his clothes before pressing a kiss to your stomach. Charles' hands parted your thighs as he settled between them. Licking, sucking, and kissing your inner thighs, he teased you mercilessly, his breath hot against your sensitive skin.
"Charles," you moaned, your voice trembling with anticipation.
He glanced up at you, his eyes dark with desire, before finally giving you some relief by directing his attention to your pussy. His tongue flicked out to taste you, sending jolts of pleasure through your body.
He took his time, alternating between gentle licks and firm strokes. His lips and tongue drove you wild, your hands clutching at the sheets below you and your hips arched off the bed as he brought you closer to the edge.
"Please," you begged, your tone barely higher than a whisper.
Charles smiled against you, his tongue working faster, more insistently. You felt yourself teetering on the brink, every nerve alight with sensation. Just when you thought you couldn't take any more, he spread your folds using two of his fingers and licked up a final stripe before sucking hard on your clit, sending you spiralling into a powerful orgasm.
You cried out, your body shaking as waves of pleasure washed over you. Charles didn't stop, his mouth continuing the relentless movements while he slipped his fingers inside your pussy. The dual sensation was almost too much to bear, leaving you torn between pulling away and arching into the overwhelming pleasure.
He pumped his fingers in and out of you with a skillful rhythm, curling them just right to hit the sweet spot deep inside. Each thrust of his fingers were accompanied by the tantalizing flicks of his tongue against your overstimulated clit. The combination drove you wild, your hips bucking against his hand as you sought more.
"Charles, baby," you gasped, your voice a breathless moan as you felt the tension building again, faster and more intense this time. Your fingers tangled in his hair again, pulling him closer as you rocked against his mouth.
He responded with a low moan of satisfaction, his fingers moving faster, more determined to push you over the edge. His free hand lifted your leg up over his shoulder while he added a third finger in your pussy, stretching you perfectly.
His tongue worked in harmony with his fingers, and you felt yourself climbing higher and higher.
"Yes, oh god, yes," you panted, your body trembling as you reached the precipice of another orgasm.
Charles didn't let up, his fingers curling inside you, mouth sucking and licking with a precision that drove you insane. You felt the wave building higher until it crashed over you with a devastating force. You cried out his name, your vision blurring as the orgasm tore through you, leaving you breathless and shaking.
He continued to work you through it, his fingers slowing but never stopping, his mouth still pressing gentle kisses to your throbbing clit while lapping up all your cum. Finally, when you were utterly spent, he withdrew his fingers and moved up to cradle you in his arms.
He made a show of licking his lips before humming in delight. "You taste amazing, mon amour," he whispered before pressing a soft kiss to your lips, allowing you to taste yourself on his tongue.
You smiled, still catching your breath, your body humming with the aftershocks of your release. "Was that your parting present?"
Charles chuckled softly, his eyes gleaming with mischief. "I think I can do better than that," he murmured, his voice low and seductive.
Just as he leaned in to kiss you again, his eyes flicked to the clock on the nightstand. His expression changed instantly.
"Merde!" he exclaimed, sitting up abruptly. "I completely lost track of time."
You followed his gaze to the clock and your eyes widened. "Charles, your flight!" you gasped, the reality sinking in.
He scrambled off the bed, grabbing his phone to see a couple missed calls from his manager. He quickly dialled back, pacing around the room until the line was connected.
"I'm so sorry, I got... distracted," he explained, hurriedly casting a sheepish grin in your direction.
You couldn't help but giggle as he spoke, realizing this was the first time Charles had potentially missed a flight because of you. You knew you should feel guilty, and perhaps you would later when the consequences set in, but in that moment, basking in the post-orgasmic bliss, you wouldn't have had it any other way.
Charles hung up, a resigned sigh escaping his lips. "Looks like I'll have to catch the next flight," he said, a hint of frustration in his tone knowing that he wouldn't be able to fly with any of his team members.
But then, his gaze softened as he looked at you, a small smile spreading across his face. "Not that I regret a single second."
You laughed, reaching out to pull him back to the bed. "Guess you'll have to stay here with me a little longer," you teased, running your fingers down his chest.
Charles chuckled, shaking his head. "You're insatiable," he murmured, his eyes filled with playful affection.
You grinned, your fingers tracing lower. "You've used your fingers and your tongue, but not your cock yet," you replied, your voice dripping with desire.
Charles' eyes darkens with lust at your words. "Is that a request?" he asked, his voice husky as he leaned closer, his breath warm against your skin.
"More like a demand," you whispered, pulling him in for a deep, hungry kiss.
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Taglist: @lochnoch @llando4norris @monsieurbacteria6 @namgification @lilymurphy03 @sargeantdumbass @hiireadstuff @racingheartsposts @d3kstar @xjval @namjoonswaifu @isabellewinchester @thedecalcomania-blog @casperlikej @khaylin27 @mlioravanfleet @mehrmonga @tellybearryyyy @nikfigueiredo @jointhehunt67 @bokutos-babyowl @sya-skies @charlesleclercsonlywife @dreamingonbed @wonnou @heylookwhoitis
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togament · 4 months ago
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sakura. nirei. kiryu. togame. ume. pt. 1
You ask him innocently. Of course, being the good partner that he is, he leans in to inspect. But then you meet him in the middle in for a quick peck on the lips. How would he react?
𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒: FLUFF FLUFF FLUFF, semi-suggestive stuff so proceed with caution, GN!Reader! (as always if I do miss something, please don't hesitate to let me know!), THE DARKSIDE OF THE SUN THAT IS NIREI AKIHIKO PLEASE BE WARNED, Togame is a lovesick fuck (and we love that), language (it's me), UME IS ADORABLE AJSDKJASKD SOMEONE HOLD ME THE FUCK BACK!!!!!
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𝐒𝐀𝐊𝐔𝐑𝐀.
"wh--!!! H-hey! You can't just do that!"
✦ your boyfriend whisper screams at you, face already red as a tomato (it never fails to amaze you how quickly he blushes so deeply), hand gripping yours softly but firmly in place just in case you might do something else. You can't help but giggle at how much he's freaking out. It's adorable.
✦ Absolutely, absolutely, at loss for words. If anything, he's just sputtering. Bicolored eyes staring at you with furrowed brows and you can just TELL he's planning about doing something in retaliation. He is. Just you wait.
✦ Gotta pray you both are in public because once he gets you alone? UH OH. He's pouncing on you, pinning you down onto the nearest surface to press a lingering kiss on your lips, tongue darting out to trace the seam of it. OOOOoOOoo You're gonna get it now.
"..you're gonna pay for that."
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𝐍𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐈.
"!!!!! b-b-bunny!!"
✦ much like Sakura, your man is an absolute sputtering mess. But you can tell he's trying his damn best to keep it together. If this were any other time, he could have been prepared for this, y'know?! Please warn him next time oh my god he might end up collapsing from sheer shock.
✦ You pat his back soothingly, leaning in to press more kisses on his reddened cheeks to whisper apologies and soft giggles into his skin. You can feel him smiling. Thank goodness! He lets out a cute little satisfied sigh and you smile against his cheek, pressing even more kisses into it. little did you know....
✦ Oh but before you feel like he's gotten over it, he's gathered enough nerves to let his fingers search for yours, threading his between them, another slightly trembling hand cups your cheek and you can feel his breath fanning against your lips. Swallowing dryly, he lets out a shaky breath. His tongue darts out to wet his lips before he leans in closer, heavy lidded eyes staring you down as he blurts out,
"...can I check again just in case? Please?"
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𝐊𝐈𝐑𝐘𝐔.
"you're so bad."
✦ you can hear him purring almost, skilled fingers now wrapped around your waist, caressing and kneading your flesh. Before he tries anything else, he looks into your eyes, looking for assurance that he's doing the right thing, reading into it correctly. YOUR MAN KNOWS BOUNDARIES AND YOUR LIMITS HE WON'T DO ANYTHING UNTOWARD AND UNSAVORY TOWARDS YOU UNLESS YOU ASK HIM TO OH MY FUCKING GOOASDIHASD--
✦ you kind of feel like he saw through your silly little prank though by how he let out an affectionate little huff when you asked him. Of course he knows you don't have any dirt on your face. He couldn't keep his eyes off you even if he tried to. He'd wipe the dirt away before you even felt something, really. (Plus you may or may not have forgotten he pulled this prank on you before...)
✦ But once you give him the go ahead with you leaning into his touch, he takes that as a sign. He presses a gentle kiss to your cheek before taking your hand in his to press butterfly kisses onto your knuckles. Oh the jealousy the onlookers must feel right now.
"It's getting kinda late out, no? Wanna head home, love?"
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𝐓𝐎𝐆𝐀𝐌𝐄.
"oho? Wanna try doing that again f'me, dolly?"
✦ OF COURSE HE ASKS YOU TO DO IT AGAIN. You don't, of course. But that doesn't mean that'd wipe the smirk off of your man's lips. If anything, he's gone bolder. You've awoken the beast, baby. He's glancing at your lips then back into your eyes with those damn emerald greens of his OIUUUhhuUHGhh!!!!!!!!! He doesn't care who's looking or where you both are right now. He's way too in love with you to even give two shits about who's looking lmao what're they gonna do????? STOP HIM FROM LOVING ON HIS BABY???? FUCK OUTTA HERE.
✦ he lets out a hum, leaning into you more to tease you a little more. How dare you pull away to match his teasing just as he's inching closer to you? How dare you deny your man the pleasure of kissing you?!!!! A large hand reaches behind you, relaxing at the small of your back to secure you closer to him. You swear you hear your heart beating out of your chest. No matter how long you've been together, he never fails to fluster you. (Of course his heart is beating just as loudly, just as fast.)
✦ You (and everybody else that dare look at you both right now, to be honest) can tell how much he's absolutely, UNABASHEDLY in love with you by how he's looking at you right now (or any time for that matter). Always keeping him on his toes with your spontaneity, he decides to respond in kind. Tracing his thumb across your lower lip, he can't help but speak just loud enough for you to hear,
"Do I got any dirt on my face?"
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𝐔𝐌𝐄.
"..! Honey...! Haha! C'mon. Behave yourself. lemme check."
✦ IS COMPLETELY UNAWARE THAT WAS YOUR ENTIRE SCHTICK. YOU REALLY DIDN'T HAVE ANYTHING ON YOUR FACE BUT GOD DAMN IT WITH THE WAY HE'S LOOKING AT YOU IT MAKES YOU WISH YOU HAD MORE THAN JUST SMUDGE OF DIRT ON IT RIGHT NOW PLEASEPLAEPASLEPELA---(is dragged off the stage, microphone dropped on the floor, trail of tears snail behind me as I'm being dragged out)
✦ genuinely wants to help. Is kind of worried you're just sat there staring up at him with his hands cupping your cheeks to hold you still, giving your pretty features a once twice thrice over to see if you got any dirt on you. Eventually you have to confess that it was a prank :(((( he only chuckles, peppering kisses on your face until the both of you are giggling messes. His strong arms are around your waist now, holding you securely against him. The giggles die down as you look into each other's eyes. You could just melt right then and there. He'd follow suit of course.
✦ With an affectionate sigh, he traces his fingers along your cheeks, your jaw, your neck. Featherlike and gentle. He leans in to kiss you--God he never fails to make every kiss feel like the first time. Your heart is beating out of your chest as he pulls away with a smile. Chasing your lips for another chaste kiss, he chuckles,
"if you wanted a kissy kiss, you could have told me, y'know?"
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a/n: NIREI DEBUT NIREI DEBBBUUUUUUTTTT!!!!!!!! I know for a fact Nirei's got a secret little ⟡𝓼𝓹𝓲𝓬𝔂⟡ side to him. I just know it. That damn notebook knows too much. He's gotta have something juicy--learned something juicy from it too. Also the fact that he's working so closely with Suo...... I...... I just know...... That they--he.. uh...... ////// (pulls the microphone cord off forcefully and walks off stage, slamming the door behind me you can hear my muffled screams through the hardwood.)
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eraenaa · 7 months ago
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Imgonnagetyouback
Inspired by the song "Imgonnagetyouback" by Taylor Swift
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Rafe Cameron x Reader Tag List
Summary: The plan is clear. Get Rafe back after your breakup. 
Warnings: Possessiveness, Jealousy, ¡Kinda Biased Towards the Reader!, ¿Kinda Toxic Relationship?, Violence, Mature, 18+, P in V Sex, Fingering, Not Proofread 
Word Count: 3,826
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Two weeks. Two fucking weeks since Rafe broke up with you, and only now did you begin to spiral. It was not as if it was your first breakup with him; you would admit you two had a handful of breakups during the duration of your relationship, especially when you consider that you two had been dating since middle school. But this instance was different; this was the first time that Rafe was the one to initiate the breakup. Before, it was always you who called it quits, and he would come to you on his knees, begging you to take him back. However, now, he was the one to leave, and a fortnight had already passed, and no word was heard from him, leading you to become inwardly frantic. 
“So this one’s official now, huh?” Sarah asked as you filed your nails, staring harshly at your phone, willing it to light up with a notification from your best friend’s brother. “The audacity he has to do this to me! Did I tell you how he broke up with me?” You asked, and Sarah said no, even though you had ranted to her the story at least twice. “We were just sitting here, watching a movie— we had not fought for at least a month, and then he just said, ‘Let’s break up,’ and fucking got up and left!” You groaned, remembering how you stayed up later that night waiting for Rafe because you did not believe his words and the ludicrous way he ended your relationship. “I hate him! I should smash up his bike to teach him a lesson. He’s so fucking immature!” You groaned and heard Sarah sigh, “I’ve told you that years before and hundreds of times after, but you just ignored my warnings.” You groaned once more and tightly shut your eyes. You feel Sarah go to where you sat, “What are you gonna do now?” She asked and you took in a deep breath. “I’m gonna get him back.” You stated, and from the side of your eye, you saw her expression grow confused. “What?”
“I’m gonna get him back,” You declared once more. “I’m gonna get him back then be the one to break up with him— a real break up this time. Like, totally over.” You say but that did not aid Sarah’s confusion. “He does not get to be the one with the final say. He does not get to be the one to end all of this.” You say. “No offense, Sarah, but I’m going to crush your brother’s heart.” You turn to her and watch her lips twitch. “Do you need help?” She asked, and that earned a genuine laugh from you after weeks of being stoic as you did not know if you should mourn your relationship or wait for Rafe to be standing with flowers at the other side of your door. “I’m gonna get him back so bad.” You say once more as your mind was already thinking of the ways to take your revenge. 
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You played in the tennis court with Sarah, her already luring in Topper, and with Topper came your now ex, Rafe. They just came from a round of god, and you try your best not to grow distracted by his presence, you willed your stubborn heart not to admit that it had missed him. You bounced the tennis ball, waiting for Sarah to finish her conversation with Topper. You smirked to yourself as you felt eyes on your ass. Specifically wearing Rafe’s favorite tennis skirt of yours. Your mind conjured the memory of him almost drooling as he watched you step out of the fitting room, fashioning the tight, lilac skirt. Just like a moth to a flame, Rafe threaded towards your direction. 
“Hey,” He greeted; in his hand was a can of cold beer, and you urged your gaze not to be entranced by the veins on his rather attractive hand. There was just something about how he gripped things. “Hi,” you say, tilting your gaze upward and squinting your eyes as the sun is beaming down harshly. “How are you?” He asked, his voice holding an edge of tension and awkwardness. “Pretty good, we’re three, love,” You say and watch as his lips part as you intentionally use the nickname you used to call him in a phrasing that was completely ambiguous. It was exactly why you asked Sarah to lure them here to the tennis court, knowing it was the only appropriate setting where you could execute at least three parts of your plan to get him back. “Love?” He asked, his voice lower, and you nodded. “Yeah, love. Zero,” You say, your demeanor relaxed as if you were not at all affected that he ended your six-year relationship. 
You watch him wet his lips and take a chug of his beer. “About the uh… the— our break up,” He stuttered, and you gazed top at him innocently, “What about it?” You asked and tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear, your eyes catching the way the ball on his throat bobbed, his lips parting, and you could practically see his mind trying to form his words to address the situation. “That’s it?” He asked after a while, and you bit your lip, knowing he loved it when you did that action, convincing him that you, too, were trying to think of a response even though you already knew how the scene would play out. “Yeah, I suppose. I mean, ours was a middle-school romance; it has run its course.” You said and watch intently as how hurt flashes in his eyes before quickly covering it with cool detachment. “Why? Did you think this would end up in like a marriage or something?” You ask, tilting your head to the side, noting how Rafe’s jaw clenched. 
Every word you uttered was like a bullet into Rafe’s chest. He must admit he broke up with you for no particular reason other than just being petty. The sudden breakup was just a result of his pride being wounded. Topper and Kelce had reminded him of the times you broke up with him and him being quick to go down on his knees and beg for you back. His ego could just not stomach the way they called him a ‘simp’ and ‘fucking whipped’ that he made a rash and ill-thought judgment. He was waiting for you to contact him, a call, a text, even a fucking smoke signal, just anything as long as you did the first move first. But two weeks had flown by, and not a word came from you. Now, to hear you say that you’ve expected your relationship to end— that you were practically just counting the days before its demise presented Rafe with sorrow, regret, and, greatest of all, rage.  
“Did you think this would end up in like a marriage or something?” The sentence echoed through Rafe’s mind. What the fuck did you mean by that? He remembered all too well the times you gushed about your futures. About how your wedding ceremonies would play out. What dress you’d wear. Where your honeymoon would be. The number of kids you two would have. The house you two will live in. Every specific detail of your future was thought of and was embedded in his mind, and now here you go, disregarding all of those sacred plans. 
“Rafe?” You called as he stood before you unmovingly, but you could feel him seething internally. You stepped closer and placed your hand on his arm to get his attention. You bit your cheeks as you feel his skin grow riddled with gooseflesh, a reaction that only you could elicit from him. You stared into his eyes, intense blue orbs that were starting to think twice about his decision. “Hey asshole, get out of the court, we’re trynna play!” You hear Sarah scream from a distance, and you step back and steal away your touch from him but not your eyes, as you wanted him to get the message that there was no apprehension or sadness in you about his decision to end things. Rafe stomped over to the side, standing next to Topper, him obviously agitated and tense. You turned to Sarah, and a knowing smirk appeared on both of your lips as the laid-out plans were going well. You were so gonna get him back. 
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After your round of tennis at the club, the group decided to go back to Tanneyhill. You made yourself comfortable at the estate that was practically a second home to you. “Hey, Wheez,” You greeted as you went to the kitchens to grab a bottle of water. “Oh, you’re back!” She cried, and you laughed as you were enveloped in a hug by Rafe and Sarah’s sister, who was practically yours, too. “I heard about the breakup,” she whispered as she parted, but her hushed voice was moot as her older brother still heard her words. You were not quite sure what to say, but luckily, Wheezie spoke once more. “I mean, it’s not like it was unexpected, but still! I can’t believe you ended it; you were supposed to be my sister!” She exclaimed, devastated. 
“She didn’t end it,” Sarah came, and you watched as Wheezie abruptly turned to her brother, who stood next to Topper, who was hindering from laughing. “You idiot! You let her go?!” She exclaimed at Rafe, and you just stood there as Wheezie expressed her disbelief at her brother. “Shouldn’t you be out playing,” Rafe gritted as Wheezie’s reaction was only solidifying his regret. You bit your lip and perched yourself atop the counter as you watched the three Cameron siblings argue, Rafe trying to be rid of Wheezie and Sarah coming to their little sister’s defense. You turn to Topper, the two of you being a constant audience of this little family affair. 
In the end, Rafe, who was urging Wheezie to be the one to leave, was the one who stomped away. “Well, that went better than expected,” Sarah said. The three of you girls were left alone in the kitchen as Topper followed out his friend. “Still can’t believe that he was the one to break it off,” Wheezie said. You simply shrugged, “That’s why I’m trying to get him back,” You say. “So I can be the one to really end it.” 
“Wait, so, if you two aren’t dating anymore, who are you going to take to Midsummers?” Wheezie asked. And you feel your lips part as that did not even cross your mind. You and Rafe had always gone to Midsummers together. The event connected to many memories and many firsts for the two of you. “I guess no one,” You say. “But what if he takes someone else?” Wheezie asked, and you turned to Sarah. “We need to find you a date,” She quickly said, and you nodded. “Wait— but aren’t you trying to get him back to get back at him? If you bring a date, wouldn’t that like piss Rafe off more?” Wheezie asked as you three headed towards Sarah’s bedroom. “Exactly. Haven’t you noticed Rafe likes things better when he can’t have them?” Sarah asked, and you nodded along, recalling the times Rafe’s determination to acquire things that were dangled before him but were just beyond reach. 
“So, who would you take to Midsummers?” Sarah asked, “That’s an easy enough problem to solve; what I need now is something to wear for the party later,” You say and watch Wheezie and Sarah frown. “You’re going to that? You hate house parties.” Sarah frowned. “I do. But Rafe is going and it’s important for him to see that this whole ordeal is not at all affecting me,” You explained. “What? You’re going to flirt with other boys?” Wheez asked, and you smirked, “Duh,” 
 Rafe watched steely eyes as you sauntered into the room, taking the drink some dude handed to you and flashing him with a smile that had always been meant for Rafe. His fist clenched around his cup, effectively crushing the red solo cup as he watched you entertain the guys he had always kept a distance from you. His heart throbbing in his chest and his rage consuming him as you let one of them lead you towards the dance floor. Letting him stand behind you and let your bodies be flushed— letting him take Rafe’s place. 
You gritted your teeth as Rafe made no move. He only stayed on his spot by the side with some girl from your school who had always been over him since he was in the third grade and you were in the second. But even then, even though you two were just children, you two had always been drawn to each other. You huffed as you felt the vile feeling rising in you as a random dude kept dancing against you, and Rafe made no move— at this point in time, you miss his violent jealousy that you used to frown upon. 
You feel your heart still as your eyes locked with his. The silent language between you had gone mute and was now forgotten. Your heart clenched as he did nothing, only turned away from you and draped his arm around the shoulders of another girl. You staggered back as his actions stunned you and stung your heart. “Wanna get out of here?” The guy behind you dipped down and whispered in your ear, tugging at your hand. Your lips parted as you looked between him and Rafe, you waited a moment, willing him to turn around, but he didn’t. Is it really over now? You swallowed thickly and squared your shoulders, turning to the guy you were dancing with. “Yeah, sure,” You say meekly, and he grinned, pulling you away from the crowd and towards the bonfire lit by the shore. 
Rafe felt appalled to have his arms around another girl, but he had these theatrics to get you back. He turned back his gaze to the dance floor, searching for your gaze and making sure that the guy you danced with did not step a foot beyond bounds. Rafe felt his heart fall out of his chest as he realized you were gone. He quickly removed his arm from the random girl beside him and searched for you. “Sarah, where is she? Did she go home? Tell me she went home alone.” Rafe asked as he saw Sarah with her boyfriend. “Who?” She asked, feigning innocence. “Don’t fucking play with me, where’s my fucking girlfriend?!” Rafe seethed, eyes franticly searching for you. “You don’t have a girlfriend, Rafe. You broke up with her, remember?” Sarah asked, enjoying the panic in her brother. Topper laughed beside her, and Rafe shook his head. “Fuck you two, you really do deserve each other,” Rafe gritted and headed towards the beach. 
Rafe thought he had already uncovered every level of anger within him, but he was wrong. Nothing would compare to the rage he felt when he saw the guy you were dancing with holding you by your arms, trying to keep you still as you pushed him away as he tried to kiss your lips that were meant for Rafe. “Get the fuck away from her!” Rafe charged toward the guy and landed his fist on the guy’s jaw. Your eyes widened as Rafe suddenly appeared. You just stood there in shock, watching Rafe let out his rage on a guy who finally deserved it. It took a moment before your mind registered the severity of what was now happening; a crowd appeared and circled as Rafe and the guy fought. None even made a move to hinder them. You looked around and saw Kelce and Topper by your right, urging them to get Rafe, who was not at all phased by the crows that suddenly appeared. “You fucking force yourself on her! Fucking cunt!” Rafe screamed as his punches never missed his target. He was not at all tired of beating the guy who dared touch you, his mind not registering anything around him except the rage he felt. 
You feel your heart drop as the distinct sound of a siren sounded out, the crowd that had gathered quickly dissolving, but the presence of authority did nothing to sedate and calm Rafe. He was relentless in punching the guy even though he was already on the brink of unconsciousness. “That’s enough! Go home!” The sheriff screamed, and two other officers pulled Rafe away from the bloodied and bruised body of the guy. “This was not supposed to happen,” You whisper to Sarah as they push Rafe against the cop car and handcuff his wrists. You found yourself being dropped off at the station to post bail and explain to the sheriff what had happened. “He was just defending me; that guy was forcing himself on me, and luckily, Rafe was there to stop him.” You explained and turned your gaze to Rafe, who was in holding, staring blankly at the wall, his jaw and fists still harshly clenched. “Well, he did more than stop him,” The sheriff muttered with a sigh. “He’s not pressing charges, so your little boyfriend’s free to go,” the sheriff added reluctantly. You nodded and quickly moved to go to Rafe, whose cell doors were being opened for him. 
Tense silence surrounded the both of you as you stepped out of the station, and it followed the both of you until you reached Tanneyhill. You turned to Rafe, lips parting to speak, but he cut you off by placing his lips upon yours and cupping your cheeks with both of his battered hands. You melted at his touch, finally relenting and admitting to yourself that you had greatly missed him. When you two parted, you stared deeply into his eyes, deciphering clearly the thoughts he always struggled to word out. “You still love me,” You breathed out and felt your stomach twist as he nodded his head. “Of course I do,” He answered and kissed your lips once more. You wrapped your arms around him, your fingers lightly scratching his skull, his buzzcut hair prickling and tickling your soft palms. You feel him grip your ass once more, the telltale sign that warned you where this would lead. And though you missed feeling your body tangled with Rafe’s, you still needed answers. You were still deciding if your best-laid plans should be set on fire, skeptical that all of this was just his sleight of hand. 
“Why’d you break up with me?” You asked, parting your lips. Watching as Rafe huffed and tried to kiss you again, but you turned away and urged him to answer. “I was being petty,” He mumbled, and you heard him groan as you frowned at him and removed your touch. “Baby, please,” He said as you stepped backward, your eyes narrowing at his words. “What?” You gritted. “Look, I’m sorry. It was a stupid decision. The guys were giving me shit about how you were always the one to call it off! I just… I wanted you to be the one to come to me and ask for me back…” Rafe trailed as he had no better word to explain his reasoning for breaking up with you. “You broke up with me because of your fucking pride!?” You almost screamed in anger. “I’m sorry, baby, please; I was so stupid.” Rafe sighed and tried to pull you to him; the big man he was had gone for the moment as his blue eyes pleaded with you. 
You took in a deep breath and your senses were consumed by the smell of him. Your ears rang with the sound of his voice begging for your forgiveness. Your skin tingled by his touch. You breathed heavily and shook your head. “You’re so immature,” You sighed and pulled him down by his shirt to kiss his lips. Rafe smirked against your lips and savored the taste of you that he had longed for. “Am I forgiven?” He panted as you two parted; you stayed silent for a moment. Gazing at his eyes that were alight with hope. “Depends on how many times you make me come tonight,” You whispered against his lips, watching as his blue orbs turned dark. You shrieked as he hoisted you up and made you wrap your legs around him, hurriedly bringing you back to his room just to show you how truly apologetic he was. 
You hummed in delight as Rafe sucked your tit, his other hand pinching the other bud. His body pushed you against the back of his bedroom door, and your hips moved to seek friction. “I missed you so much, baby,” Rafe groaned between the valley of your chest, biting and sucking your skin, leaving it red and most probably bruised. You bit your lip in anticipation as he tossed you on his bed. He watched you with a smirk as he removed his shirt, the moonlight illuminating his muscled body. “Like the view, my girl?” He asked and slowly crawled atop your body, his fingers finding the zipper of your dress, but he was slow to undo it. “Stop teasing, you’re still not forgiven,” You groaned as his hand was trailing the inside of your thigh. “Oh, right… I’m sorry, baby,” Rafe hummed once more and placed kisses on your neck as his hand cupped your cunt. His fingers draw circles on your cloth-covered nubbin, his lips peppering kisses on your neck. 
You bit harshly on your lip as you pushed your underwear aside and finally felt the wetness he had caused. “So wet… you wanted me back as badly as I wanted you, huh, baby?” He hummed and watched as your eyes rolled back as he abruptly inserted his two fingers inside you, curling the digits and taking your breath away. “Rafe— I need you now,” You cried as his thumb laid flat on your nubbin. “Whatever you want, baby,” Rafe hummed and obliged your pleas. Stealing away his fingers and replacing them with his length. “God, so fucking tight," He grunted as he thrust into you. You could no longer hold in your moans as he pounded into you, the tip of his cock perfectly aligned with the spot in you that made you see stars and spew out moans that you were certain would be heard by those in the hallways. But you could not find care as Rafe fucked you senseless and made you reach your peak in record time. 
You panted as you came down from your high. Your boyfriend is looking at you through his hazy, lust-filled eyes. “Am I forgiven?” He asked, and you wrapped your legs around his waist, forcing him to lie on the bed and for you to be atop him. “Not yet.” 
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neil-gaiman · 1 year ago
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Hello!!
First of all, THANK YOU!!! The world has been feeling harder and more hopeless to me in recent years, and individuals like yourself help more than I will ever be able to express to bring light and hope back into my world. Loving and obsessing over gems like Good Omens, and American Gods (the novel at least, I must admit I never saw the show 🙈) have always given me motivation, sparked my creativity, and made me feel so much love for this, often unfortunately cruel, world. I can't express the solace it brings to me when the creators of the things I love are thoughtful and decent human beings. So, again, THANK YOU 🫀🫀🫀
I just finished my second viewing of Season 2 and have a question for you (my apologies if it has already been asked and/or answered and I missed it)!! 
How did you select the song "Everyday" by Buddy Holly? It is absolutely perfect on so many different levels, and for so many different threads and characters, all while still encompassing the perfect feelings of this show. I always include playlists with the stories I write, and often agonize over which song is the best choice for certain moments. You had to pick one song to encompass the entirety of it, and it truly blew me away! 
Thank you this Season and for everything you do; it really does mean the world to so many of us 🫀🫀🫀
In February of 1991 (I think) Terry Pratchett and I were staying in the Chateau Marmont hotel in LA. These days it is a very fancy hotel but back then it was pretty manky and run down. We were being put up by a film company and each morning we would fax over an outline for a new version of Good Omens the Movie and each afternoon we'd go to the studio for a meeting and we would realise that nobody had actually read what we had sent over that morning. Then we would go back to the hotel and work on trying to incorporate the studio notes on the outline they hadn't actually read into what we were doing.
We worked up in Terry's room because it had heating, and it was incredibly cold in LA that February, especially cold because I was in a chalet out in the grounds and there weren't heaters or extra blankets or anything in the chalet.
And at some point in there we were talking about music, and I suggested a few scary and ominous songs that might work to signal the end times. And Terry said "What about Buddy Holly's song Everyday? It sounds so upbeat and cheerful. But what if it was about the end of the world?" And I got all excited at the idea of Everyday being the Good Omens theme song.
So it's really just there to make Terry happy.
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he-calls-me-kitten · 9 months ago
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Recently got busy and haven't had time to be around at all .. I just skimmed through whatever I have missed while I was away and I realized how badly I missed your writing style... It's just so ue2ge8eh27db❤️❤️⁉️⁉️ I can't really explain it.. its scrumptious, very very yummy... So I come with a little request... We know the obey men are quite and as a short girlie that's just like so fucking attractive like?????????? Sirrrr???? 😖😖
Imaginee... getting picked up by them and quite literally hanging off their cock as they just dangle you in the air, your feet not touching the ground as they just fuck yiu silly, watching your writhe and sob as their cock leaves a bulge on your stomach as you claw at their arms. They don't even gotta be trying, your just go dumb on their cock, crying how it's too big and having them bully themselves in you...
Basically that prompt with barbatos, Simeon and beel
I'm a very horny Tumblr user as you can tell LMAO
Love you though, take rests, eat, drink, stay healthy, darling. Mwah 💋
-M. 🪭🪷
Oh my god look who's back?!!! Hey M!!! Missed you loads, hopefully life eases up on you, busy little thing! Thank you for checking in, it means the world ❤️
And your ideas...just *chef's kiss*. Here's another treat for the short AFAB folks with size kink out there!!!
Little Body Big Heat
Afab! MC x Barbatos, Simeon, Beelzebub
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Barbatos mock apologizes as you pant and plead him to stop. But he's barely even doing anything really. All he's doing is just standing there, carrying you in his arms, holding you so close.
You're the one struggling and twitching to take him in more or push him out. The way you are writhing - he genuinely cannot tell but he sure is enjoying the show.
"MC, use your words, won't you? I'm sorry I can't understand you when you're like this, my love." He coos, brushing hair away from your face.
"Mhhmm- B-Barb please.... please it's too much. Please ....just... help me move..." You struggled to string a sentence together.
And he finally the gracious butler takes pity on you. You're asking so nicely after all.
"Is this better?" He moves so painfully slow, you whine into his ears. "Oh? Would you like me to be... faster?" He kisses your neck, feeling the vibrations of your delightful complains, which soon would turn into delightful screams. And he wants everyone to hear them too.
Simeon's angelic side simply ceases to exist when it comes to his desire for you. Honestly what were you thinking falling asleep, sitting on his lap. Don't you know he already has a hard time behaving himself around you?
"Did you have a good sleep, MC?" He threads his fingers through your hair, pulling you closer for a kiss. "As you can see...I've run into quite the problem. I can't go home to Luke while I'm like this now, can I?"
You take some time to come to your senses. After all, it's not every day you wake up with Simeon's erection between your legs.
"Would you like to use me...to calm it down?" You gingerly try to hold him down there, it took both of your hands yet he was still much too big for you. He made a low groan at the contact.
"Really, you wouldn't mind?" He asks even as his fingers are already touching your waist, slowly pulling off your top.
"Your sense of duty is really admirable, MC." He chuckles as he pulls off your shorts, now undoing his own pants. "Now then, where would you like me?"
"You...can choose." You let him feast on you with his eyes and hands, enciting soft whimpers and moans. His fingers delight at the wetness pooled between your legs, toying with you before pressing his erection against your puffy clit.
He pushes into your hole, stretching you out but before you can't even let out a sound. His tongue is inside your mouth devouring your screams. You've taken him in so well. He can feel himself bulge out your stomach. "Does that feel good, my little lamb?"
You nod even tears collect at the corner of your eyes. "So good..so... full... It's toobiigg... you'resooo big S-Simeon... please..." Oh how he loves doing this to you.
Beelzebub's length is only the second most dangerous thing about him. The first is his stamina. You realise this now as you have been pressed against his lockers for what feels like hours. Your feet haven't touched the ground in so long.
"Beel...a-are you still.. not done..." You watched him pant, looking at you with a frenzied look in his eyes. When you told him you'd help him get his mind off food, this is not how he thought it would go.
"Beel! I-I know you're really famished ..but ...but you can't... keep...doing this...ahhhmn..mnhn Beel I'm about to...cum again...stop please..." He kept sucking your slick up, right through your orgasm. Talk about overstimulation.
He already tormented you with his tongue down there till you were leaking through your underwear. And now that he was too aroused to calm down, you simply had to let him fuck you. "Just...one last time, MC. I promise."
Yeah sure. He said that two rounds ago. Seriously you wondered how you had not passed out yet. But then again, everytime he moved - you swear he kept discovering a new pleasure point inside you.
"MC your face right now...you look so cute...I'm sorry I couldn't stop myself...and you feel so warm..." He plunged in and out of you again, bouncing you on his dick effortlessly. Of course he hasn't thought about food, he's been too busy devouring you.
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queenie-ofthe-void · 3 months ago
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Cough Syrup
written for @steddiemicrofic August
prompt: plug || wc: 437 || rating: M || cws: sick fic, reference to child neglect, references to sex
~~~
"Baby," Eddie sighs, "just plug your nose. I promise it'll go down easier." Steve keeps his mouth sealed and shakes his head as he leans further back into the pillows propping him up against the headboard. Eddie’s very carefully holding the spoon in front of Steve’s face, syrupy red liquid on the verge of overflowing onto their comforter.
“You say that every time,” Steve complains. He moves his head to the side as Eddie makes his move and misses. “But it smells, and it’s gross, and it felt thick and disgusting in my mouth yesterday, and I’ll be fine without it.” 
Steve watches as another thread of Eddie’s patience unravels. After three days wasting away of fever and bone-wrenching aches, he’s surprised Eddie hasn’t just dropped him off on the hospital curb in a cardboard box, sign affixed to the side reading ‘Oversized baby for adoption. May need extra care. Fully vaccinated’.
“Steven James Harrington.” Full government name– with his correct middle name– means he’s in deep trouble. “You’ve inhaled nasty, probably radioactive, floating Upside-Down ash. You’ve accidentally swallowed demobat blood. You’ve drank shitty beer out of a communal bong, had your tongue down every girl’s throat in Hawkins, and inside my asshole–”
“Oh my god Eds, don’t say it like that.”
“–yet for some reason, you refuse a tiny bit of cough syrup to help you sleep.”
Steve rolls his eyes and sighs. In his attempts at being dramatic, he breaks into another coughing fit that has him reaching for the water glass on the nightstand next to all of his used tissues.
“I’ve been sick before and I’ve never needed drugs.”
“Never needed it,” Eddie leads, grabbing his hand, “or have your parents never offered it before?”
The question hits like a punch to the gut. He’d never thought about it that way. How his parents told him he’d get better soon, that he just needed some soup and crackers. If he focuses on being sick, it’ll just make him worse. How if he ate healthier he wouldn’t get sick in the first place.
“Stevie,” Eddie says gently, running his fingertips across Steve’s sweaty, overheated forehead. The fondness floods over him like a tidal wave, washing away all thoughts of his parents’ lack of love and care, something that's always so obvious from Eddie.
“The medicine will help you sleep. And if you sleep better,” Eddie says, and Steve can already see the trap forming, “then I’ll sleep better.”
Eddie smirks as Steve swallows around the spoon, nose plugged. They know Steve would do anything to help Eddie, even if it means helping himself too.
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enhaven · 8 months ago
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[7:39pm] — sjy (m.)
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pairing ⇢ jake x reader
summary ⇢ jaeyun’s wondering which part of his fit made you barge to his place when he has a flight to catch.
warnings ⇢ unprotected sex, dirty talk, creampie, orgasm delay/denial, he takes it from behind, this is a bit toxic but idk it’s angsty too ig
a/n: change of plans. was gonna post something else but i saw this edit again on twt someone help me i can’t do this
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you honestly have no idea which one it is.
but Jake doesn’t stop asking you, delaying your orgasm each time you respond with a noncoherent answer. you don’t even know why he does when he’s supposed to leave a couple of minutes ago.
you caught him by the door earlier just in time when he was about to close it, throwing yourself at him for a tight hug. he instantly put his arms around you, returning it with the same intensity without a word.
he knows you after all. which is why his incessant questions irked you a lot.
“tell me baby, was it the chains?” he rasps behind you, leaning his body closer to yours. by doing so, your skin and his touches and you feel the cold of his necklace brushing against your burning skin.
it doesn’t help that his pace turned into slow strokes now, allowing you to feel every inch of his cock while he hits that soft spot inside you. his hand that was gripping your hips comes up to part the hair that was covering the back of your neck.
then his plump lips are mouthing your shoulders, trailing sideways throughout your neck until he reaches the tip of your ear and bites it.
“jake..jake-y please” you beg for the nth time but he can’t seem to hear you with how loud he’s being, moaning right by your ear as his body pins you to the surface.
“you can’t just come here and not precisely tell me why right?” he asks again with that thick accent of his that sounds so good in your ears.
a deep chuckle resonates from him when you whine but you're hoping that's enough of an answer. if you didn’t hear the mocking tone in this voice, you’d mistake it for something else.
how can you tell him that it’s because you miss him. you can’t possibly inform him that knowing he might use it against you later on.
“ah..j-jaeyun…”
“fuck, you can’t really resist me can’t you?” he continues, ignoring your pleas as he leans back up and fastens his pace.
he’s right, you can’t. or you wouldn’t come running here to see him before he leaves the country for you don’t know how long. ending whatever between you was clearly a mistake when by the end of the day, you’d always come running back to him.
it took one video he posted on ig for your resolve to crumble.
now you’re moaning uncontrollably against the kitchen island, holding the sides of the surface with all your might as he fucks you relentlessly from behind. it must’ve been you moaning jaeyun the entire time, something that you noticed a few times since sleeping with him.
he did say he likes it when you call him that.
"c-close, i'm close..."
"i know baby, i can feel you gripping me so tight" he groans, throwing his head back when he feels your warm cum around his dick. he slows his thrusts then, hand switching from supporting his strength to caressing your twitching body.
god he’d love to pull your hair and do more but you look so spent already, panting so hard with your cheeks planted on the surface.
“so it’s the glasses then” he chuckles amusingly after catching your eyes staring at the sunglasses sitting across your face that the company sent for him to wear.
“yeah..owh!”
jake hurriedly pulls your body up, turning you around before inserting himself back in your pussy.
“fuck, baby, i–..”
“want it inside me?” you ask like you’re offering his favourite ice cream but your eyes are half-lidded. he couldn’t take it anymore, a few curses escaping his lips as he slams his hips against yours.
“mhmm, always, s-shit, always” he groans against your neck, never forgetting to leave kisses while you thread your hands his moussed hair.
oh how you’d love to hear that word from him in another scenario but you’d take this. even if it’s just because of the heat of the moment.
“give it to me..then..” your sensitive walls welcomed his load, relishing feeling so full of his cum. he brings his face close to yours, his habit of biting his lower lip spurring you to clench around his cock.
you’re tempted to kiss him, wanting to feel those full lips against yours but you digress. he’s probably waiting for it but you can’t add it to the plethora of dumbassery that you’ve done because of him.
.
he stays inside you for a while until he’s done riding out his high even though his phone won’t stop ringing. he’s purposefully ignoring it, continuing to leave wet kisses along your neck so you nudge him to take it.
“the babies have been calling” he laughs breathlessly, pushing his hair back while his other hand types reply in their group chat. he steps back and walks around, probably looking for a tissue box to clean you up a bit.
how sweet. it made you grimace internally.
“you’re surely get an earful from wonie” you reply fondly while he wipes his cum spilling out from you. the mention of his friends whom he treats like little brothers momentarily distracted you.
then you remembered that he might miss his flight because of you so you stop him, taking over so he could redress and fix himself.
“i’ll be back before you know it” he grabs your jaw and gives you a kiss on your lower cheek, so near your lips before picking up his black leather bag somewhere beside you.
as much as jake wanted to kiss you, he wasn’t sure if you wanted it on your lips. he did see the hesitation on your face earlier while you were lost in a trance, staring at his lips. he's not sure what's stopping you but it must be linked to your reason for letting him fuck you again.
you watch Jake fling his bag over his shoulders, putting on the sunglasses before he retreats to the door.
oh he’ll be back for sure, but certainly not to you. that’s why you lied earlier, playing it safe knowing how unpredictable Jake could be. having him again calmed your fear of losing him for good but you've long realized how temporary this is, a facade that you're hoping to keep up for as long as you can.
.
e/n: i tried freewriting in my other blogs and i feel like it’s making write lmao so here we are, not proofread or edited 💋🤧
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ladybyakuya · 3 months ago
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| BE SWEET TO ME. + soshiro hoshina, gen narumi, reno ichikawa, izumo haruichi. 
+cw. — f!reader,explicit smut, canon typical elements, established relationship, masturbation, voyeurism, exhibitionism, s&m themes, s&d dynamics, oral acts. +syn.— sometimes missions take days, even months but when they return home to find you in a very awkward position; you never knew that being caught while touching yourself could be so exciting. +wc. — 2k
+notes. — i became a lil bit selfish and pushed my hubby!hoshina agenda. | redirect to blog navigation.
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• soshiro hoshina.
The shared bedroom of you and your husband is now filled with yearning, stifled moans, and cries seeking his presence. It has been a month. A month without your freshly wedded husband, a month without his touch, a month without . . .  
The house is mostly empty with both the brothers being at work. The ground floor is as usual bustling with servants and staff that work specifically for the clan but in this wing, on the second floor where you and your beloved husband reside, there is nothing but you, your yearning, and loneliness. One of your arms travels down in between your legs. It is almost instinctive, curious even. The hand that you hold against your face after it has just grazed your entrance is glistening with proof of your yearning for him. 
At the very next moment, your hand slips under your kimono again your middle finger finding its way inside you. You could feel yourself clench around your finger but as you slowly start to move your fingers, in and out, your folded legs start to pull away from each other. You lean back against the heap of pillows stroking your finger in and out. Head now arching backward while your finger movements have changed, trying to find the pinnacle of this insanity whilst moving up and down, to and fro, each stroke slightly stronger than before yet you can not seem to place a finger on it, like hoshina did on wedding night. 
Click! Your body jolts, sitting up straight, legs rested one over the other toes almost touching your butt as your thighs aligned as you sat sprawled beautifully like the arch of the neck of a Swan. It is a good thing that you are wearing a house kimono, so easy to carry, so swift to hide the lewdity. My God! Oh, how Hoshina has missed his beautiful wife! 
Still, he acts curtly.
“C’mon, why did you stop?” Hoshina walks towards the bed and sits at the edge of the bed. His body facing away from you yet his head is turned towards you. You could not speak. You could not think. You might have been holding your breath. Yes, you must. For how long has he been standing there? Since the moment you closed your eyes or . . .Hoshina extends his hand to cup your face. His touch is rough, and full of strength on your skin. As he squeezes your cheek a little bit while running his thumb over your slightly parted lips, you curl like a cat under his touch. “You’re here. I — I was just surprised,” you whisper.
“Go ahead. Finish what you started,” You suck in a breath upon hearing his demand. It is not like he has not seen you. But touching yourself while he is still here, getting yourself off while he is all ignored . . .is not right by him nor is in accord with the duties of a wife. But Hoshina happens to think otherwise. Seeing you like this, like a flower in blossom, unaware of what to do he could not help but grab the wrist of your arm that was underneath your robe a few minutes ago. He licks your slick-soaked fingers clean off whispering, “C’mon make those wet again!”
• gen narumi.
“Why did you stop?” Narumi interjects as all your senses and movements come to a halt for moment. His lips are practically thread away from your mouth. There is a visible tent in his underpants yet he refuses to pay attention to it. He would rather focus all his attention on you, who is currently sitting on his thigh without any underwear but the short tee is still intact. Narumi could see how aroused you are. Your nipples are prominent even through the cloth. You have been practically humping his thigh since he walked into the room. How dare you? How dare you use a dildo in his absence while he has been holding himself back, keeps playing games so that he just does not end up giving in to the urge of jacking off in the toilet late at midnight, especially after stressful meetings. That thing? That cylindrical thing— he takes that an insult to him on his manhood. 
“Weren’t you humping the plushie I gave you?” You were desperate. He was gone for a whole month, leaving you all alone with your yearning and that damn plushie that reminded you of him everytime you hugged it or barely glanced at it.
Gen goads into you further. .. .his head arching, eyes landing on your nape as he wet his lips with the tip of his tongue thinking of, yeah, just thinking of kissing you, marking you. “Narumi please.” you plead hands being clammy due to being held by him at the back of your waist while his other arm rests on his thigh. He grabs the dildo that he kept it on the side table and turns it on. It starts to vibrate in the air and the buzzing sound is nothing but a sound of shame for you now. “How many times . . .” Narumi takes it closer to your entrance and he can feel your skin flexing upon his thighs. “Just how many times did you use it?”
You can not answer that. Not that he would be angry or disappointed if he knew the number but its just that it was his fault that you are here in the first place, so close to your orgasm yet feels like a foreign dream. You just wanna cum while Narumi refuses to give you that until you answer. The only touch between him and you is his show case of strength on you while you drag your lower body up and down his thighs.
“When you send a selfie.” 
Narumi’s hands drop like a withered petal of an old flower that is way past from its bloom. The dildo hits the ground and its still vibrating. Yeah, probably you could have answered that question better it seems. 
“I was barely naked.” He said with such a flat face as if that skin tight suit with mask on, droopy eyes with such a morning face would not turn you on. 
“Oh! Shut up,” You finally snap breaking free from his garb and before he could counterattack your lips were already on his, no resistance, no fighting for dominance just wanting.
• reno ichikawa
There was no funny business for Reno when it came to you. He has informed you earlier that he would be home today so that your heart and body fills with hope and want before he decides to take claim of both But when he saw you through the slit of the door it made him a little dizzy. The drawing room was dark and the light coming from your room was the only source of light. He would have stumbled upon the plant pot if he had not been so habituated with coming home to you after every mission. He takes slow but eager steps to see if the sounds that are coming from your room is really what he thinks it is. Ren stands against the shadow of the door for a while letting the fact sink in that you actually gave in, that you actually listened to him. 
Reno did not think you would. He did not think you would be ready to listen to him without him nagging for it till you give in. It has always been like this so why would he expect anything different this time? But maybe being away from home, for whole thirty days and that too due to mission sure affected you in ways that went far and beyond his imagination. Sure, he thought you would miss him, call him late at nights despite your share of workload, even send pictures maybe nudes sometimes but he never thought you would be busy in your room preparing yourself for him. He suggested the idea just an arrow in the forest but he had no idea it would reach you yet it did. 
It did reach you and now you are on bed trying to suppress your moans by cupping your mouth and legs apart from each other as you push and pull the dildo he parceled while he was away. Seeing you like this, so eager and ready for him has already spiked his heart rate ten times than his normal heartbeat. He opens the door and your lust-filled gaze, glazing sweaty skin is now only for him to soak in.
“Reno—” you moan his name in between working the dildo into your pussy. “What are you waiting for?” Those unrefined movements of your hand, the posture, and the lingering tears in your eyes suggest nothing but the fact that you are new to this. 
“Did I make you too long?” He asks letting his bag hit the floor with a thud and getting on to the edge of the bed. You barely give him a nod with a ‘hmmm’ and the next thing you feel is his lips on yours, soothing the wait, rewarding the ‘good girl’ in you while pulling out the dildo out of your pussy. Your muscles flex around the air as Reno deepens his kiss. He then straightens up, undresses himself, and throws the shirt somewhere on the floor before getting on his knees to hook his arms on your inner thighs. He laps his tongue against your pussy once and peers at you and since you don’t say anything he puts his lips to work this time.  
• izumo haruichi
Izumo thought he would surprise you with his return but his plan had a boomerang effect on him instead. Indeed, you were never the one to be fond of surprises to being with so it already seemed like a gamble to him. But just when he was about to enter the shared bedroom, he heard you: moaning and whispering. He would not mistake your voice even though it has been a month since he properly heard you, heard you like this, calling out his name voice laced with lust. 
The way you are moaning he could imagine in which position you are touching yourself, even how close you are. He hesitated to ruin that approaching high, after all he hates it when you do it with him.
Now, he is standing outside the room leaning against the wall while you are inside the room. The presence of wall has never been excruciatingly painful before. The door of the room is slightly parted giving him enough access to hear your voice as he zips down to take his member and relieve himself from the pain while you are drowning in pleasuring yourself. 
“Fuck,” Izumo hisses under his breath as he clamps his fingers around his cock, his thumb lightly tapping on the tip of his cock. His pleasure stems out in strings, sticking onto his hands. A month full of missions, thirty days without touching himself, saving himself for you so that when he returns home to you he is all you can have, he is all you could imbibe. Of course, there were times when he was tempted to touch himself and it was always in thought of you. But he did not rather he wanted to save himself for you. It is always about you, always has been but standing outside the room while jerking off as he hears you calling out his name mind warped in insanity, desperation, and pleasure. He can enter the room if he wants. Albeit! he can barge into the room and give you what you need and in that process subside the tide that was high in both of you.
But seeing you so desperate, so needy, and that too for him fills him with immense love for you, reminds him of his days during the mission where he would find himself submerged in the thoughts of you, unable to touch you, unable to hold, and not wanting to channel it through him by getting himself off. It must be frustrating, right? To be consumed by need so much that you forget everything but the source. You just need to hold on a little longer. He can tell that you are just a few strokes away from reaching the peak. He is too. . .he thinks  . . . he has now sat down on the floor with his legs sprawled apart as he strokes his cock in quick and rough motions. He wants to cum with you, not after, not before but when you do.
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macfrog · 4 months ago
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birth of venus sex on fire chapter twelve
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these two mean the world to me. thank you for coming on this journey with them. i hope you enjoy.
pairing: ceo!joel x fem!reader
summary: if you love something, you let it go.
warnings: age gap (reader is late 20s, joel late 40s), workplace relationship, imbalance of power dynamic, alcohol consumption, lurve, fingering, masturbation, cum eating, oral (m receiving), unprotected piv, creampie, size kink, daddy kink, praise kink, cursing, some angst, soft!joel, cocky!joel (we missed him!)
word count: 12.6k
series masterlist | main masterlist | playlist | follow @macfroglets w notifs on to be the first to hear when i post 💚
“Alright, let’s get into it.”
He sits on the other side of the table, legs crossed and balancing the notebook on his knee. Twirls a pen around his thumb, catching it without looking. He’s too busy scanning the page in front of him, the list of questions he’s about to drill you on.
Let’s get into it, he says, and then stares silently at the scribbled lines.
Your shadow splits a shard of sunlight across the office. Knee jerking, palms clammy and fingers twisting around each other. You glance down at your outfit – the pointed heels Martha swore went with your dress, the jewelry she promised didn’t look tacky – and straighten your skirt.
Let’s get fucking into it.
“What are your responsibilities in your current role?” he asks.
You swallow. It feels like sandpaper. “Well, uh…”
He doesn’t look up. Not to ask the question, not to wait for your answer. Just stares down, spins the pen, bites his lip until it turns white.
Focused. Razor sharp. You’re not even in the same room.
You turn on your heel and begin pacing. “I manage my boss’s schedule, from nine a.m. Monday to nine p.m. Sunday. I get everything in order, plan out his days, make any bookings. I take calls, I answer emails, I…”
He’s still not looking. He bounces his foot, leather shoes catching the sun. His watch face leers back at you. There’s not a mark of ink on the paper in front of him.
“Hey,” you click your fingers, “Are you even listening to me?”
Joel shakes the frown from his face. “Huh? Oh,” he clears his throat, straightens in his creaky chair, “Yeah, I’m listenin’. I’m…I’m here.”
“Come on, man,” you huff, “You said you’d help me out.”
“And I am. I’m helping you out.”
You glower. “What did I just say?”
His shoulders wriggle. “You know…paperwork, and…Is this –? Is this really what they’re going to ask?”
“I don’t know,” you groan, collapsing into the couch opposite. Your arms cross, like some crumpled tantrum of a woman. “I found it online. They’re all art director questions, supposedly.”
He turns the notebook around. The first sheet flops over.
“Describe yourself in three words,” Joel recites.
“I was gonna go creative,” you count on your fingers, “driven, and then I couldn’t decide between perceptive or observant.”
He squints, tongue clicking against his teeth. He stares at your raised fingers. Thoroughly unimpressed.
“Right,” he stands, “Yeah, I don’t know, kid. A company like this, taking on a new art director, and this is what you think they got waitin’ for you? I mean, what’d I ask you?”
You scoff, twisting to watch him cross over to the window.
Between the sun and your deflated spirit, he stands like some kind of god. High up on the top floor of his skyscraper, towering over the streets. Towering over you.
He’s haloed by the blazing sun. Light arrowing from behind, spilling all over his wide shoulders and dipping in every fold and crease of cashmere. The northern compass point, the magnetic pull turning everything towards him.
Joel’s fingers snap, a hair away from your nose. “Tip number one: don’t stare at the interviewer like that. Asked you a question.”
“Wasn’t staring,” you mumble, shifting when he sinks down at your side. “You really don’t remember what you asked me?”
“Of course I do. I’m asking if you do.” He fiddles with a thread on the couch at your back.
You straighten as though his hand might be iron hot. “I remember…remember you asking what success looked like to me.”
Joel nods once.
“Remember you asking why I wanted out of my old job.”
“Yep.”
You flick a finger around the office. “I remember you asking what I’d change in here. How I’d make the office better. But I don’t know what interior design has to do with being an art director, Joel.”
He smiles. “This,” he shakes the pad, “is generic bullshit.”
“Generic bullshit,” you echo, pinching it from his grasp. You read over the bullet points – your strengths, your weaknesses, how you do under pressure.
“Yes,” Joel says. “Doesn’t tell ‘em a thing about you. Well,” his eyes widen, “I guess it tells them you tried searching their damn questions, the morning of the interview.”
A small, tired sigh falls from your lips. You melt back into the couch, horizontal under Joel’s extended arm. “I just want to be prepared,” you whisper. “I want to be the best person they meet.”
“What makes you think you ain’t already?”
“Well, for starters, I don’t even know which three words describe me.”
He chuckles. “How about more than capable? Hm? The dream assistant. Future art director.”
“Cheesy,” you mutter, batting him away. “I just…I really want it. I want something that feels like mine, you know? And I know I’d be fucking good at it.”
He falls quiet. He thumbs the corner of the pages, knuckles brushing against yours in a way that feels deliberate. Feels familiar.
It’s as though he might turn his hand, open his palm for yours to slip safely into. Lock his fingers through yours, squeeze once for good luck, twice to double it – and a third time, to tell you something he knows would make you flee.
But you don’t flinch, and neither does he.
Instead, he pulls himself up – a mighty groan as he straightens.
You bite back a snark about his age. Stupid fifty-year-old boss, stupid old bones. Stupid smartass.
Joel whips open the bottom drawer of his desk – the one you’d come to know as his junk drawer – and heaps diary after diary on the mahogany surface. Their leatherbound covers and splintered spines, the warped pages packed between.
With a tiny ha (and a click in his joints that you notice even from across the room), he pushes himself back up.
“September, September…” the pages flutter between his thumbs, “…September second, right?”
“What are you –?”
“Here,” he says, and reclines back beside you. He slides the diary into your lap. “September second, two o’clock.”
Your eyes narrow, following an inky trail linking geometric sketches and games of tic-tac-toe; the words college and assistant, a crude drawing of a house.
“So…” your lips purse, “…on September second, you were doing no work and doodling in your planner. What about it, Joel?”
He taps the top of the page, finger settling right below a name.
Penned in his neat handwriting – the trademark font that, after three years, you’re used to finding on sticky notes and signed with the letter J. It’s underlined, then boxed in by more scribbled lines. So familiar, you barely even take it in at first.
You blink twice.
It’s your name. Your full name.
“This is the day of my interview?” you ask.
Joel dares one fleeting glance at your lips. “Mhm. These are the notes I took, the day we met.”
You look down to the diary and back again. Almost an entire page of nonsense scribbles, hieroglyphic trains of thought bleeding from one drawing into another.
You frown. “You really didn’t listen to a fucking word I said, did you?”
He chokes on a laugh, shaking his head. “You had the job before your ass hit that chair, genius. All that interview was, was playing ball. Seeing how hard you could swing.”
But you’re more confused than you were before he emptied his desk. You flick through the book, spine dangling loose from the pages.
There are no other notes, no other candidates’ names – only reminders for Lunch with Mom and Massage 10AM. Meetings with past clients, deadlines long gone. One obnoxious, hot pink gel pen autograph in May, marking Martha’s birthday.
Yours is the only name he bothered to jot down. The only interview he thought to memorialize – in a gallery of distracted doodles.
“What are you talking about?” you ask.
He plays with his tie as he admits it. Nervous schoolboy, avoiding your eye like he did back on Maple Street. It’s a side to him you didn’t know existed, not until a few weeks ago – and seeing it again, you realize how much you missed it.
“There were four other interviews before yours. Every single one of them sat in that lobby waiting for Martha to call down. You –” he taps your hand, “– you got in the elevator and brought yourself up. You remember how shocked Martha was to see you?”
Sure I do, you think.
She stared you down the entire walk over to her desk. She stuttered and stammered her way through a sentence, once she realized who you were. She kept peering over the top of her monitor to steal glances at you when she thought you weren’t looking.
“I…I just thought I looked a nervous wreck,” you tell Joel.
He hums. “Well, you stood up when I opened my door. You held your hand out first. You were scared shitless – I knew you were – but you never lost your footing. You got no idea just how impressive you are, all by yourself.”
He taps on the sheets in your lap. “Now – find me a question on your list that tells them all that.”
It’s not as if you don’t know how these things go. You’ve sat in on plenty of interviews with Joel before – catching anything each quivering candidate says that might’ve slipped through his net, placing bets with yourself on who he’ll pick.
After a few months, he started asking what you thought.
You came to notice the discarded resumes of men you’d deemed sycophants, ladder-climbing leeches in tight, tawny ties – in piles to be shredded. There wasn’t a suit in the building that you and Martha hadn’t been asked to screen, before they were even considered for hiring.
Joel has the sharpest bullshit detector you’ve ever known. You don’t get to where he is without the radar for it. He knew exactly which guys were assholes of the highest order – he was just making sure you always did, too.
Stupid, stupid smartass.
A polite knock at the door interrupts your thought.
“Joel?” Martha calls, “Joel, your ten o’clock is here.”
He curses under his breath. His eyes shift sideways. “Who the hell is my ten o’clock?” he mumbles.
“Salazar,” you whisper, lips closing around a giggle. “Quarterly, remember?”
“Goddamn it,” he groans. He stands up, holding a hand out to pull you to your feet. “I’m sorry, darlin’. I’ll be an hour, tops. We can pick straight back up.”
“It’s okay,” you slot the diary and notepad under your arm, “I should get back to work anyways.”
“Calmed your nerves, at least?”
You smile. “Sure.”
“Liar.”
“Tip number two: don’t ask dumb questions, Miller.”
“Oh,” he scoffs, “We’re starting a list now?”
“Mhm. Three can be: don’t doodle during the interview.”
He elbows you towards the door, leaning close. “Four,” he murmurs, “Don’t get yourself fired.”
You grin as you slip outside.
“You couldn’t handle this place without me.”
Mr. Salazar loves to tell a story.
Joel’s still stuck with him, almost two hours after the guy showed up. With a pointed finger and something that felt as sacred as a blood oath, Martha made you promise you’d leave on time.
Whether we’re still in that office or halfway to Timbuktu, do not wait up. Just go, alright? Or I will hand you your ass, sweetheart.
Thirty minutes out, you’re pacing back and forth. Body humming with jittery nerves, what feels like a glass ball of anxiety rolling around your stomach. A text from Rand weighing down the phone in your blazer pocket: Ready when you are.
You suck in a ticklish breath. “Fuck,” you exhale, jamming your knuckle into the call button for the third time.
The wall rumbles as it delivers the elevator straight ahead. The doors part, and your distorted reflection stares sheepishly back at you.
You blink.
She blinks back.
Your shoulders life with another fractured inhale – and so do hers.
Some tiny, half-there version of yourself. Shrunken and shriveled. She moves when you move, only with half the confidence and double the pressure on her shoulders. She looks like she needs a wine date with Martha.
Scared fucking shitless, you think. Three words to describe me.
The doors close again, swallowing her whole, and –
“Nope,” you decide, spinning on your heel.
The shades are tilted enough to obscure the three figures to shadows: Joel, rocking mindlessly in his chair, Salazar talking with his arms, and Martha hunched at the other end of the couch – losing the will to live.
She’d probably welcome the excuse, to get the hell out of there.
Your knuckles rap against the door.
The investor’s lively cadence never slips – where there’s an audience, there’s a show to be had. He twitters on even over the grounding bass of Joel’s voice, the quick click of Martha’s heels.
Her shadow crosses over to the door and she whips it open. Her voice is a sharp whisper.
“You swore to me, you’d –”
You shake your head and grab her arm. Nervous, you mouth, trying to pull her over the threshold.
She won’t fucking budge. She plants herself in the doorway. Her chin lifts, eyes narrowing to study you down her pointed nose – and then she glances over her shoulder.
One second, she exaggerates the shape of the words, holding a finger up.
“Martha –” you hiss, but the door is already closing, and her shadow is already retreating.
You spin around, dragging yourself over to your desk. Another breathe squeezes past your hammering heart, trembling as you let it go. Your phone buzzes again.
This is pathetic. It’s pitiful. You bulldozed your way this far – against all your good sense. Red wine antidote, all that courage now feels more like a weak-kneed hangover.
You fiddle with a pen holder. Your body feels flimsy like rubber.
The door opens again.
“Hey,” Joel says, turning you to face him. He doesn’t look you in the eye – just slips your purse from your shoulder, squeezes your hand. “Walk with me.”
“No,” you wobble in his grasp, “Your meeting –”
He links his arm through yours, locking elbows. “Martha’s got him talking about some ski trip. We got ten minutes. Walk with me.”
Your breath sputters. “I can’t – I can’t do it.”
“Can’t do what?”
“I’m flapping, Joel.”
“Flapping,” he repeats, and the word never sounded more ridiculous than it does with his Texan twang. “What are we flapping over?”
He sways as he walks. It’s no different, no less comfortable than it was a few weeks ago. Just you, Joel, and the Parisian sunset. The light swimming in the Seine, the sweet air circling you both.
Your heel scuffs against the carpet. “You know,” you catch yourself, “just this potentially life-changing job interview I have in, like, twenty minutes.”
“Huh,” his brows quirk, “No big deal, then?”
Your eyes roll. “It wouldn’t be, if you hadn’t given me some big speech about not losing my footing. Now look at me. I’m all over the goddamn place.”
“Take it in baby steps,” he says. “Let’s just get you there first. All you gotta do is walk in like you’re already part of the furniture. Like they’ve been wondering what goes at that little desk.”
“You said the CEO is nice?”
“She is,” he reaches for the call button, “Likes red wine and racecars.”
Your brows flinch. “She likes…What?”
Joel smirks. “I didn’t say we talked for long. That’s all I got on her.”
He drags you into the elevator, hitting the button marked P. Your reflection stands a little taller, little straighter next to his. Mimicking his posture; the still stance and level head. The coolness you’re sure wouldn’t slip even if the world ended tonight.
“Look at that,” he mutters. “You made it to the elevator.”
“Shock,” you whisper, hugging yourself.
You face each other, inches apart. Nerves and momentum upsetting your equilibrium. The bones of the building drum up your spine as you plummet, floor numbers blinking down to zero.
Joel rests his ankles either side of yours. He knocks your feet softly, smiling fondly when you lift your head.
“Read over their website on the drive over,” he says, in the same polite voice he uses with clients. “Their values, the way they operate. Names and faces, all that shit. Keep it fresh, okay?”
You force your cheeks into a flat smile. “Okay.”
“Look at that,” he says. “Killer smile. Getcha any job anywhere.”
“Gross,” you giggle. “Did you wonder, before you found me?”
“Did I wonder what?”
You tilt your head. “What went at my little desk.”
He itches his nose, laughing into a closed fist. He’s blushing, though he’s trying hard to hide it. “Sure,” he shrugs, eventually giving in, “Knew it must be somethin’ pretty special. And you were.”
The elevator dings, and the doors rattle open.
Joel taps your heel and you sulk, leading him out into the garage.
Rand catches sight of you instantly. He jumps out of the Rolls, a wide grin on his lips, and balls his fists. “How we feelin’?” he asks, giving them a hearty shake.
“Little nervous, aren’t we?” Joel replies, patting your arm. “But we’re almost there.”
You’re holding onto him again. He doesn’t seem to mind.
“We’re still in the building,” you utter, tracking Rand’s kiddy jog around the car.
Joel turns, lips at your temple. “Closer than you were five minutes ago, baby.”
The driver grabs the door, turning his palm to usher you inside. “Figure we’ll get there with ten minutes to spare. Always good to be early to these things, right?”
If it weren’t for the six-inch heels on your feet and the seven-figure man on your arm, you’d reach to tighten backpack straps that aren’t there. It’s the same feeling: first day of school, walking into the unknown. Pushed off by grownups who know better.
You’re a grownup, too, you remind yourself.
The same feeling, and the same determination, too. The resolve to walk in there – bright-eyed and bushy-tailed – and be the thing they’ve been waiting for. Be the thing you’ve been waiting for. So –
“Fuck it,” you decide, slipping free from your boss’s grasp. “Let’s do this.”
“Attagirl!” Rand claps his hands and dances back to the driver’s side.
Joel helps you into the backseat, passing your purse over when you’re settled. “Okay?” he asks, one arm leaning on the roof.
“Yep,” you chirp – a crack in your voice that you both ignore.
“Call on your way back if you feel like it, let me know how it went.”
The strip lighting in the garage strains your eyes. “What if you’re still hearing about Salazar’s ski trip?”
He shakes his head. “Don’t ask dumb questions, remember? If you call, I’ll answer.”
“Thanks, Joel,” you whisper.
He clicks his teeth. You’re welcome.
“Next step, little tiger. Go get ‘em.”
After you interviewed with him, Joel took all of twenty-four hours to offer you the job. He said he would’ve called sooner – that afternoon, if he could’ve – but there had been a holdup with the paperwork. His next question was how soon you could start.
He was that sure.
On your first day, you were shown to your new desk. Wiped clean, drawers bare. A bloated water stain in the wood – the mark of a fern plant Martha thought was treated a little too much like an actual child by your predecessor.
She offered to have Joel order a new desk, but you told her you loved it – water stain and all.
You loved the view on each side – the sprawling city, the sun needling between buildings. You loved Martha’s company, and Joel’s daily ritual of strolling over to stretch his legs and, more importantly, gossip.
The job made you feel grown. A little kid in the big city – yes, sir and no, sir, caffeine for breakfast and paperwork for lunch. It was big enough that you wondered whether you’d really fill it – like you wondered if you’d ever fill your desk.
What supplies did a personal assistant need? You spent more time on your feet than sat at your desk. What knickknacks would you collect?
Well, looking at it all now: a jumble of pinched pens and hand-me-down magazines from Martha. A Wonder Woman stationery set your mom bought you; the chipped Kandinsky mug you make coffee in every day.
A plastic ruby ring, from a riverside stroll in Paris.
Looking at it now – you wonder how it ever all fit. Almost three cardboard boxes, plus an oversized Swiss cheese plant. Your desk is empty again, back to the way you found it.
Because you got it.
You got the job.
Junior Art Director. Jesus fucking Christ.
You were in Joel’s office when the call came through. Laying out travel plans for a business trip, organizing documents into the order he’d need them. Busying yourself purely to distract from playing the interview back in your head.
The entire thing was a blur, the interview – film reel already burning in your memory. One second you were traipsing into the building, the next – strolling back out, sun on your face and spring in your step.
It came back in flashing vignettes: the creative director’s cropped bob, her scarlet lips. The rhythmic dunk of her teabag into her mug, her quiet mhms as you spoke.
Her smile grew wider, the longer the meeting went on. Her tea went cold. She asked to see pictures of your artwork – made some passing comment about your skill being of some use for an upcoming project.
She liked you. Better yet, Joel noted – you liked her.
He walked back into his office just in time to hear the tail end of the phone call. Your shaky thank you, the teary goodbye. He waited until you turned, one hand lingering on your shoulder, and gasped when you broke into a giddy grin.
He pulled you into a bear hug, beats of raucous laughter through his chest. You sniffled into his shirt, staining the material with wet mascara.
What’d I tell you? he murmured into your hair, rocking you side to side. What’d I fuckin’ tell you?
A clumsy mash of work blouses and party dresses fills the office.
Glitzy gold and pressed linen, heels and loose ties. A bottle of champagne on a spreadsheet coaster, an overfilled balloon knotted around your chair. The word Congrats swirled in glitter pen.
Martha fills the latecomers in. She orders everyone to drain their glasses and grab their coats. There’s a dive bar not far, she says, with karaoke and a jukebox. Cheap drinks and heavy measures.
A dive bar. The dive bar. AC/DC and all.
You linger over by your desk, alone, swirling the bubbly in your glass. A little more than awkward, what with the gold party hat your coworkers forced over your head – and the heavy heart it’s doing little to soothe.
Your last day as Joel Miller’s personal assistant is over. As of five-thirty, you don’t belong in this office. Come Monday, you’ll have a whole new job, a whole new title behind your name.
It’s as thrilling as it is utterly terrifying.
Martha had your leaving party organized less than an hour after she heard the cheers from Joel’s office. Proof, you told him, that she’ll be just fine on her own.
Proof, he countered, that she has a very selective work ethic.
He’s in good hands, if her current crowd management is anything to go by. She rounds everybody up like cattle, corralling them into a buzzed herd.
“We are leavin’ in five minutes, alright?” she yells over their babble. “Five minutes!”
Rand dips between the bodies, smiling when he catches your eye. He wanders over, tactically dodging Martha’s waving arms.
“Hi, baby,” he says, arms wide.
“Thanks for coming,” you mumble into his suit jacket, wrists crossing at his spine.
He wriggles his tie straight, keeps one arm tight around your shoulders even when you pull away. “Of course,” he says, a dutiful nod. “You were always my favorite. Don’t tell the general over there.”
You smile, feeling it dampen when your eyes slip back over to the sliver of light under Joel’s door. He’s been locked in there all afternoon – the only proof of life the pacing his shadow has done.
Rand cocks his head towards the shuttered office. “He not coming?”
“No idea,” you pick at a hangnail, “Some emergency, apparently. I haven’t seen him since lunch.”
He frowns, watching as you shot what’s left of your champagne. It’s bitter – a sharp sting all the way down.
“I mean,” you gulp, “he’s my boss. He’s at every other party we have. What’s the difference this time around?”
Rand’s eyebrows wiggle. He swallows his first answer. He knows the difference as well as you do.
Still – he says, “He’s a lot of things, is Joel, but he ain’t an ass. He’ll be there.”
Across the room, Martha lassoes the party – leading them over to the elevator. She pauses, beckoning you over their heads. A thin-lipped scowl on her face, before she’s distracted by stragglers.
“Good Lord,” Rand scoffs, a gentlemanly arm through yours, “Bet you ain’t gonna miss that.”
You rest your head on his shoulder. “Surprisingly, I think I’ll miss her the most.”
As you hover at the back of the bunch, waiting for your very sternly instructed turn to step into the elevator, you glance back at Joel’s office.
The shades are split, pierced somewhere like six feet up. Sliver of lamplight peering through; silhouette of something – someone – staring back.
Come on, you want to call. We’re heading to the bar. Let’s pretend I never broke your heart and you never broke mine. We can dance and kiss like nobody’s watching. We can be okay, you and me.
Martha claps three times as the elevator announces its arrival.
“We’re up, comrade,” Rand quips, and pulls you out of Joel’s sight.
The bar looks the same as it ever did. All chipped mahogany and distressed leather; secret messages etched in secret corners. Slipping between shadow and tacky neon light to order a drink, feeling it hit the back of your skull before you’ve even swallowed the first sip.
It’s no Oasis Wine Bar, but it’ll do.
You’re crammed into a booth opposite some blotchy intern. Kid doesn’t look a day over twenty-one. Martha nudges you closer and closer to the lacquered panel wall, her elbow knocking into yours and splashing your drink over your knuckles.
The group is already a colorful spectrum of drunk: a couple suits slung over the bar, a handful screaming at some vintage arcade game. Rand cuts a merry figure at the bottom of the table, swaying as he garbles to Martha and Deb.
Like a replica of that first night – a playlist of dusty rock tunes, fingertips salty from picking at peanuts. The buzz of conversation fueled by swigs of bitter vodka.
You don’t remember it feeling this shitty, though. This lonely.
The intern leans over the booth, quickly yanking his tie before it folds into a flickering candle. He forces a relieved laugh, then asks, “Are you having a good night?”
“I guess,” you raise your voice over Martha’s cackling, “It’s a little bittersweet, you know?”
His head bobs in a tipsy nod. He looks from face to face, trying to latch onto any conversation that’ll take him. But they all turn away, distracted by some guy in a tropical shirt and his cryptocurrency conspiracy.
The intern stares down at his drink, thumbs tapping the glass.
Poor kid.
You knock on his beer, trying not to look too pitying. “How’s the internship? Liking it?”
He brightens, straightening in his seat. “Yeah, it’s been good,” he chirps. “I’m learning a lot. Mr. Miller is a great boss.”
It’s like being sucker punched by a toddler. Huge blue eyes and rosy cheeks, an unsteady grip around his Budweiser. If he didn’t look so much like a fucking Disney cartoon, you’d lose your nerve.
The alcohol sours on your tongue. “Yeah,” you mumble, sinking back into your seat. “Yeah, he’s – he’s a good guy.”
“Why isn’t he here tonight?” he asks.
“He’s – uh…” You throw a helpless look to your coworker – but she’s too busy showing off pictures of Henry. “…He’s busy tonight, I guess.”
“I’ll bet,” the kid replies. “He’s an important dude.”
“Uhuh,” you elbow Martha’s waist, “He sure is. Would you excuse me?” you ask, and the intern raises his hands. “I’ll be right back.”
Martha and Deb shuffle out of the booth, drinks in hand. You edge your way through the horde to the back of the bar – stopping to refill on the way.
As the muscleman behind the bar tops off your glass, something catches your eye.
Lit only by a flickering Coors Light sign – the red and blue melding into streaks of violet – an iron staircase lingers in the corner. You didn’t spot it last time – or if you did, you were too busy flirting with your boss to pay it any mind.
You drift over, evading the sloshed stagger of one of Joel’s mailroom guys, and click up the steps towards the glowing red of an EXIT sign. Your hip swings into the push bar. The heavy door groans open.
It’s no cooler out here than inside – but it’s deserted. Beer dripping from the lips of toppled bottles, candles wavering in clear pools of wax. A gentle hum from overhead – the string light canopy.
A kitschy little rooftop. A humble hideaway.
Alone, you cross your arms and amble over to the parapet.
The street snoozes, a story below. Leaves flutter along the curb, crushed by the scuffing soles of strangers. Their footsteps echo as they wander off into the dusky night.
No Rolls, you notice. Nowhere to be seen. Not parked on the road, nor in the lot across the street. Nothing but a couple of guys on bikes, standing in the cold light of a store front.
He’s not here. He didn’t come.
He couldn’t, even if he wanted to. Whatever emergency he’s dealing with, it’s taken half his day from him. Martha didn’t even bother to ask if he needed coffee, or to fill him in on her neighborhood politics since the new couple moved in next door.
Still – there’s never been anything he couldn’t drag himself away from. Not where you’re concerned. He abandoned an investor for a solid ten minutes last week, just to walk you to the parking garage and tell you shit you already knew.
He could find a way to make it to this, right?
You scoff into your glass, swallow a heavy sip. Swallow back the quiet disappointment, the burden of a broken heart trying desperately to remember the shape it used to be. Before private jets and business trips, before work parties and closed office doors.
Before Joel.
But he swaggered in, didn’t he – suit and tie and that signature smirk. He changed everything, overnight. He fit in all the spaces you thought no one ever would – nestled his way behind your ribcage, kept you warm, kept you safe.
You can’t remember the shape your heart used to be. You don’t fucking want to.
At least, even when you were fighting, he was still in the game. At least he was still sat on the other side of the checkered plain, nudging his king closer to your queen. You never intended on letting him win – but he never intended to in the first place.
He was only ever in it to watch your eyes light, any time he got close.
Now, the board is cleared. Pawns split in two, knights crumbled to dust. And you miss it.
You miss him.
And missing him is – feeling the absence of him in every room. The empty seat next to yours, your empty hand at your side. The weight you know by heart around your waist, the name always on the tip of your tongue.
Missing him is coming up with a million ways that every other man isn’t him. They don’t make you laugh the same, they don’t make you ache. They don’t know your favorite movie; they won’t pull over just to pinch the greasy bacon from your breakfast sandwich.
Missing him is looking for him. Everywhere. Hoping – Jesus, praying you’d walk out of your interview and he’d be stood, arms crossed, leant against the car. Wishing he’d show up again at your door – flowers in hand, kiss on your lips.
Missing him is existing in the negative space he left behind. Flecks of color fluttering in the breeze, fading as though they were never here in the first place.
The door chunks open over your shoulder, and falls closed with a slam. Right on cue. You don’t even flinch when he rolls a chilled beer against your arm.
Missing him is knowing him. Better than anyone ever has, or anyone ever will.
He’s here. He was always going to be here. Because it’s you, and because it’s him.
Joel holds for all of three seconds, then places the beer between your elbows. He leans back against the stone wall.
“Sorry I’m late,” he says, taking a sip. His rugged, twelve-hour-day form softens before your eyes.
“I missed you,” you whisper, and he smiles.
“Missed you too, pretty girl.”
You lean in, face smushing into his chest, and snake your arms around his waist.
Joel takes the weight of you like it’s nothing; kisses your head and rests his chin there.
“I thought you weren’t coming,” you mumble, feeling the strange chill of tears on your cheeks.
“Are you kidding?” his voice rumbles through your skull. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world, you know that.”
The alcohol lining your gums sweetens. It might just make the initial hit worth the trouble.
“I had a pretty shitty night,” you admit, sneaking a glance at him.
“Yeah,” he sighs, “You ‘n me both. Pretty shitty month.”
His cologne is fresh; woodsy and clean. His rough beard on your skin, his tired collar between your fingers. The landscape of a man you know inside and out.
Joel’s hands lift from your waist, past your ribs and around your shoulders. He lifts the broken heart charm from your chest – so tiny in his large hand, nervously twinkling in the light.
You don’t flinch, this time. Barely even notice his eyes on it.
His expression stiffens. His jaw clenches. His eyes are glassy, lined with tears behind his stone-set snarl.
“I’m sorry for what he did,” he grits, swallowing thickly. “I wanna kill him for it, you know that?”
You lift one shoulder, dropping it with a sigh. “He did what he did,” you hush, “He was a scumbag.”
Joel’s upper lip twitches. Twists, then settles when you trace it with your thumb.
“You didn’t deserve it,” he says. “You didn’t deserve none of what he did to you. You were just a kid, you –”
He lifts his head like coming up for air. Sucks a ragged breath between his teeth, shakes the tears from his vision.
“Hey,” you take his jaw, turning him back to face you, “Look at me. Look.” You flash a cheesy grin, nose scrunched and eyes crinkled. “I’m okay, Joel, look.”
His laughter betrays him, breaking from his chest and shattering the wolfish glare. He cups your head, cradling you against his chest again.
There’s nothing between you, now. No spiteful words or suffocating tension; no hurt and no blame. One heart broken and the other bruised, still beating the rhythm of a language only they know.
Still seeking the other out, through all of it.
���What we had,” Joel says softly, “it can’t have been nothing to you, right? Was it really just…?”
“No,” you shake your head, squeezing him, “It was never – You were never just anything to me. I think…” you sigh, “…I think you just pressed on a bruise I had. A bruise I thought I’d gotten pretty good at hiding. And you just…you twisted your thumb into it.”
“I didn’t – I didn’t know about no bruise,” he says. “It wouldn’t’ve mattered if I had, darlin’, I –”
You take his wrists, following the sleeves of his jacket up to his collar. “I know,” you hold his cheeks, “I know it wouldn’t. But you saw straight through me – and the more you saw, the more you cared. And that scared me.”
He blinks down to your lips. “Why?”
“Because it’s never like that, Joel. No one has ever been like that. I was so scared that I’d fuck it up – that you’d figure me out.”
“You gotta fill me in a little here. Figure you out?”
“All my shit. Blake, my dad. All of it.”
Joel frowns. “You think I don’t got shit I didn’t want you seeing, too? My dad, Avery – that ain’t exactly dating profile material, baby.”
You can’t help but laugh. As raw as an open wound, the most vulnerable conversation you’ve ever had – on the roof of a dive bar, with your boss.
And he’s as fucking breezy as though you just handed him the forecast for the day.
“You’re a better man, Joel, than all of them. You mean more to me than anyone. And before I knew it, you had me wrapped around your finger, and…”
“…And I was pressing on that bruise.”
You wince. “Little bit.”
His tongue prods at the inside of his cheek. He scans the rooftop, glimmers of gold in his eyes, and nods.
“Listen to me,” he says, holding onto you. His thumbs swipe your tears away. “I would not hurt you for the world. I wouldn’t. That goddamn email – I just – I didn’t know what else to do. I panicked, and I fucked up. I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to –”
“Shut up,” he smiles, “I never meant to scare you. I never meant to hurt you. And if we never go back to what we were, then – I guess I gotta live with that. But you? God, baby, I miss you.
“I miss hearing you laugh. I miss being the one to make you do it. I miss talking to you, miss hearing what you think on things. Miss your goddamn Bart Simpson socks ‘n all.”
You turn into his palm, masking your giggle. “Asshole,” you murmur.
“All I want to do is take care of you,” he says. His shoulder jerks, an earnest shrug. “’s all I want. And you don’t make it easy, that’s for sure – fightin’ back at every damn turn. But – I don’t know,” his eyes thin, “Sometimes I reckon it’s what you want, too.”
“Oh,” you wrestle a simper, “You reckon, do you?”
“I reckon,” Joel repeats, bending the word in an exaggerated drawl. “See what I mean?” he tickles your waist, “You’re a pain in my ass.”
Your head tips back with laughter – the first real laugh you’ve heard pass your lips in weeks. Since you were rolling around your bed, poking his ribs for not being able to use chopsticks. A silly, girlish giggle.
The world bursts into color again.
Joel chuckles, too, as you squirm in his grasp. His hands plant on your waist, forehead rolling against yours.
Your lips brush. Your body ignites.
“I really want to kiss you right now,” he whispers. “That okay?”
“Shut up,” you echo, letting his lips crash into yours.
He tastes exactly the same as you remember. Strawberry and lemongrass. Sweet, in a way that wakens you. Brightens you, full of life and full of color.
It’s as though only a second has passed since you last felt him like this. Felt his scruff on your cheeks, the warmth of his tongue slipping past yours. Your skin feels like satin on his; your body filling in all the worn gaps that time has taken from his.
Fitting against him like you were carved with him in mind. Chiseled from the same slab of marble, finally found one another through the opaque stone.
He pins you to the parapet; one hand firm on the small of your back, the other at the base of your skull. He leans in, claiming every sense in your body as his own – and you offer them over gladly.
He kisses you like it’s all he’s thought about since that last morning at your place. Like he’s making up for lost time.
Hell, you’re both making up for lost time.
Joel breaks for air, panting against your lips, then instantly kisses you again.
Your hand threads through his hair – the soft salt and pepper, the feathered flicks at the nape of his neck. “Joel,” you kiss him once, twice more, giggling, “We’re like teenagers.”
“I love you,” he replies, kissing down your neck. “So much. So – goddamn – much.”
He trails down to your collarbone, where your chest lifts to meet his hungry lips. He drags teeth and tongue between your cleavage.
There’s a delay in the time the words take to sink into your skin. Like they’re stopping to light every atom of your being first, before they reach your brain. Every bone, every muscle and every cell.
“You…” you breathe, pulling him upright. “…You what?”
“I love you,” he repeats. “That scare you?”
Oh.
“N-no,” you press your finger to his swollen lips, “You…Say it again.”
He pauses. Nods, when he seems to make it up in his mind. His eyes flit from yours down to the mess of your lipstick, and back up.
A man possessed, so it looks, he admits it between labored breaths. “I’m in love with you,” he says. “Have been for a while, I think. You got a terrible habit of driving me fucking insane, pretty girl.”
Oh, shit.
You knew it already. This isn’t news.
He as good as told you in the copy room – and before that, in his office. He told you in Martha’s dining room, told you in your kitchen. He told you every time his lips found yours in Paris, and every time his eyes met yours before that.
If you went back and looked, there’d probably be a trail of clues jotted down in his diary – September second, two o’clock. Great AP score, enthusiastic and friendly. I think I’m in love with her.
He’s always loved you.
It’s just different hearing him say it.
Different to how it felt the last time someone said it to you. Different to how it sounded. There’s no ringing in your ears. There’s no focal shift in your vision.
There’s no…fear.
Joel takes hold of your shoulders. “Don’t run off on me again,” he says, kissing your cheek.
“No, I’m not…I don’t – want to,” you burble, playing with his collar. “You’re just…You might be a couple steps ahead of me.”
“Baby,” he says, a little laugh to it. “That’s okay. I don’t mind. I’m good where I am.”
“Really?”
“Really,” he says, and leans in again. “I’ll wait, as long as it takes.”
You melt into him; his strong hands and steady chest. Teeth taking his bottom lip, releasing it with a little pop. Your fingers twist around his hair, tugging lightly.
A low growl sounds from Joel’s throat. His hips rut against yours, fly of his jeans catches on the material of your skirt.
It nestles somewhere between your thighs. Solid, swollen. Blood hammering beneath denim, grinding into your body. He’s hard.
“We keep goin’ the way we’re goin’,” Joel hints, “and we’re gonna have a problem that ain’t solved so easily.”
You release him, licking your lips. “You think I can’t feel it already?”
He sucks on the skin over your carotid. “You think I ain’t been dealin’ with it for the last three weeks?”
“Poor Mr. Miller,” you pout, “Let me deal with it.”
His cheeks lift, brows drop. Cocky. The Joel you’re used to. The Joel you want.
The Joel you fucking need, right now.
“C’mon,” you slip a hand down his front, cupping the weight of him, “I miss my daddy.”
He squeezes your ass, catching you in a rough kiss when you writhe forward. His teeth graze your ear. “I wanna touch you, baby. I wanna feel you again. This little cunt,” he slips a hand between your legs, “She’s all I’ve been thinkin’ about.”
Fuck.
It was a feeble attempt, anyway – matching his ego. Utterly futile. The guy makes you lose your fucking mind.
You’ve done things for him that you’d never dream of doing for anyone else – would wring their necks for even asking – and here you are, keening into Joel, grinding your dripping pussy into his palm for all the street to see.
“She’s all yours,” you whine, the words tearing from your throat in a desperate plea. “All yours, Daddy.”
“That’s my girl,” Joel murmurs against your temple. “I’m gonna take you home, okay? Fuck you nice ‘n hard, make you feel better.”
You moan against his shirt. “Can we go back to yours, Daddy?”
It throws him for one heavy beat. He pauses, breath hot against your jaw, and then presses a barely-there kiss to your lips.
“Yeah, darlin,’” he whispers. “Let’s go back to mine.”
You push off his chest, cunt throbbing with each step towards the fire door. Fingers locked through his – a siren leading her sailor down the wrought iron stairs of Sam’s Saloon. Swimming through bodies, bathing in neon light, breathing in tobacco and tequila.
Joel eyes the booth where his employees sit – folding spinning tops out of beer caps, wagering bets on who’ll still be hungover come Monday.
He turns to whisper in your ear, when a voice strikes like lightning between you.
“Hey!” Martha yells, waving from the corner booth.
You’ve never wanted her to fuck off so badly.
“Just where the hell do you think you two are goin’?”
Joel stumbles into your side, hiding a teenage sort of glee behind your back. It’s contagious – and it riles Martha even more.
You throw your arms in the air, eyes bulging. Take the fucking hint, Martha. “Home?”
“It ain’t even eleven,” she protests, making to stand. “This is your goddamn leavin’ night – what are you doing?”
But you’re already retreating, following the pull of Joel’s hand around yours. Skin like fire, spattering with every touch. There’s nothing – man, myth, or Martha – that could stop you from following him.
You yell it as you swing through the doors.
“Grabbing a paddle!”
Joel leads you with his hands and with his lips down a neighboring street, where his Lamborghini sits at the side of the road. It blinks to life, headlights blinding.
A bruiser of a car – all bulk and brawn and bullish, like the thing is actually rearing. Something of a sharp smirk to it, the same devilish grin its owner so often wears.
He opens your door, steady hand lifting you into the passenger side, and strides around the car. His hand is back between your legs before he’s even switched the ignition on.
“Get – your damn – seatbelt on,” you giggle, slurring the words against Joel’s lips. “I am not letting you drive me home without one.”
His breath is hot and heady, spilling over your tongue with each punch of laughter from his chest. “Alright, alright,” he concedes, clipping the belt into place. He holds his hands out, awaiting your approval.
When you nod, his fingers slip between your thighs.
“You whore,” you snicker – though the sound scatters when he finds your clit. You grab your own belt, yanking it loose from its holder. “Jesus, Joel –”
“There she is,” he coos, pulling out into the road.
He circles her gently at first, massaging over your panties. Middle finger pulsing over the hood, matching the rhythm of your heartbeat flocking south.
Your back arches; nails dig into his wrist. “Daddy,” you gasp, knees parting. Heat quickly soaking through lace and onto leather. “’m gonna – make a mess,” you croon.
“Make a mess, darlin’, it’s okay,” Joel beckons, knuckles white around the steering wheel. “Driving me crazy, watching you like this. Dirty little girl.”
“Let me…” you reach for his thigh, “…Wanna touch you, Daddy.”
He grunts – a sound of refusal. “Give me one first, baby. Here,” and he hooks the slippery lace to the side, fingers parting your folds, “Let Daddy feel you right here.”
Your knee lifts, leg folding against the door, and Joel pushes inside. Two fingers knuckle-deep in one thrust. You yelp.
“Oh, baby,” he tuts, “She’s so wet. She miss her daddy that bad?”
“Yeah,” you whine, watching the thick shine he draws from your cunt. You lift your hips to open wider – and he slots a third finger in.
“Look at her,” he growls, “desperate little cunt. That feel better, darlin’?”
“Yeah, Daddy,” you mewl, though you’re not fucking listening to a word he’s saying.
You watch, boneless and blathering, as your hand lowers – replacing where Joel’s was on your clit. Rubbing little circles while he fucks you with his thick fingers. Your back curls again, tits threatening to spill out of your dress.
“Keep doin’ that,” Joel instructs, wrist jacking faster. “You’re close, ain’t you?”
“Shit,” you gasp, walls clenching around him. “So – close, Joel – fuck.”
The car slows to a stop. A red glow seeps through the windshield, lighting your smirk in a dangerous tinge.
Your pussy drools onto the leather seat, throbbing over Joel’s hand. Syrupy and honey-sweet, coating him in a glistening mess the harder he fucks you. A sticky sound, the slap of skin on skin, the beats of your moaning in between.
“Look at me,” Joel says, and you tear your eyes from between your legs. “Keep playing with it. C’mere.”
He tilts your jaw with his free hand and slips his tongue past your lips – the taste of him more dizzying than any drink from that bar. He kisses you until you’re right there, sucking on his tongue, teetering on the edge of your first climax. Crying into his mouth to stop from screaming at the ceiling.
“Daddy, need –”
Joel’s wrist pounds against your clit. He laughs across your tongue.
“Come on, baby,” he groans. “Let me feel her.”
“Say it,” you beg, your head lolling on his shoulder. The streetlights begin to bleed into the car. The light flicks to yellow. “Need you to – to say it.”
He nuzzles his nose against yours, turning to let you taste the words.
“I love you,” he whispers, and you break wide open.
The car rolls off again as you come with a violent shudder, crying into Joel’s chest. Daddy Daddy Daddy, fuck me fuck me fuck me.
“I know, I know,” Joel says, riding your high out to the horizon. He stares at the road ahead, only daring a glimpse at the sodden mess between your thighs when you start to come around again.
He works your swollen cunt, fingers gleaming with your orgasm. Slips them over his tongue, licks them clean – and then pushes them back between your sensitive lips.
You rock with the moving car, pulse still rattling your lungs. Your eyes drift down, down: Joel’s spread legs, the shape even bolder in his jeans than before.
You got a terrible habit of driving me fucking insane, pretty girl.
Weak and still quivering, you slip your hand over his belt – feeling his stomach jolt the second you touch it. The dark trail of hair from his navel, the thicker it grows – the harder he tenses.
“Easy,” he clips, adjusting in his seat. “Alright, darlin’. We’re…You’re gonna get us arrested.”
“Good,” you shrug, “I bet you have a good lawyer.”
You slump into his lap, the armrest solid against your ribcage. Trembling fingers loosening his belt, picking at the button of his jeans, husking them loose when he lifts his hips.
“Jesus,” he clears his throat, “Won’t let me drive without a seatbelt, but you’re – you’re fine with – fuck.”
He’s heavy and rock solid, so wide you can barely hold him. Big enough that it takes no effort at all to pull him free. Shaft silky smooth, tip flushed red and leaking deliciously.
Fuck, he’s so pretty. He’s so –
“– pretty, Daddy.”
Joel lifts his hand and holds you at the back of your neck, grip tightening when you dab his head along your bottom lip. “Prettier when you’re playin’ with it, angel.”
Your tongue circles his tip – salt and sweat stirring you from your orgasmic haze. You dribble down his cock, spit racing to the twists of thick hair at his base.
The sound he makes is guttural – a roar of a groan from his chest – when you sink down on him. He fills your mouth instantly, nudging the back of your throat in one.
The car swerves some. Joel curses over your head.
You slip back up – slow. Let your tongue trace every ridge, every vein along the way. All of it perfect perfect perfect – all of it him. Chasing streaks of saliva, the pearly shine of precome beading from his slit.
One hand stroking his hilt, lips suckling around his tip. Kneading his weighty balls – massaging them in your palm, dragging your tongue down to kiss the cushiony skin.
“Pretty girl,” Joel rasps, hips canting to meet every lick, every stroke. “You’re gonna make me come if you don’t stop.”
Mhm, you mumble, gagging around the intrusion. Tears sear across your waterline, spilling from the corners of your eyes. So big, so pretty, so perfect.
He nuzzles deep, stretching the column of your throat wide. “Baby,” he warns, voice sharper, “Baby, you gotta – you gotta stop now.”
Maple, he’d said – that day in your shower. If you say it, I stop.
Say it, you dare him silently.
“I’m gonna – c-come, darlin’,” instead.
Say. It.
“You want that?” he growls, hand surfing over your hair to cup your skull. “You wanna make your Daddy come?”
Your voice flattens, mutes under the strain of his cock. You moan instead, the sound weak and muffled.
“Shit,” Joel says, stomach tensing tensing tensing. “Shit, angel, just like that. Good fuckin’ girl.”
He twitches deep inside. He’s there. Right there.
You slacken your jaw and lick up his shaft, two hands wrapping around it. They slip around the sticky spit, swirling and squeezing while you kiss his tip.
He holds you steady, slowing the car to watch as he fills your mouth.
Two, three warm spurts across your tongue, dripping down the back of your throat. You lap up every drop, tongue swirling the salt around your lips before you swallow it down.
Joel rasps as he steers the car into a dim lot. He strokes your head, jerks when you play a little too much with him.
“Attagirl,” he sighs, “Careful with it. Tryna fuckin’ kill me.”
You giggle, swiping kitten licks at his tip before you slip him back into his underwear. You bat Joel’s hands away, buttoning his jeans and threading his belt back together. Planting heavy kisses into the plush of his tummy.
When the darkness is pierced by flickering fluorescents, you push yourself up.
“Where are we?” you ask, twisting in your seat.
“Home,” he says simply.
A plain man in a dark suit strides over to the car as soon as it parks up. The click of his shoes bouncing off the walls.
Joel swipes at your chin with his thumb. He slips the digit past your lips and you suck it clean. “Dirty girl,” he utters, stealing another hasty kiss before swinging out of the car.
You hop out the other side, tottering around the Lamborghini to meet him at the back.
The attendant’s name badge reads Owen. “Long day, Mr. Miller?”
Joel pats his shoulder in greeting, reaching for your hand. “Long day,” he agrees, and makes for the elevator.
Your head swivels, taking in each lavish vehicle parked under luminous light. Emblems with horses and bulls and wings – plenty more than you don’t even recognize. Each car polished to perfection, groomed within an inch of its life.
Joel flicks the button at the top of the panel. The doors glide closed – smooth and silent. You barely feel it as it scales the building rapidly.
“Wait a second,” you stare at the dazzling PH, “Do you live on the top fucking floor?”
He bites his lip. “Might do.”
You step back. “So you let me bring you into my – my shitty little apartment, and meanwhile you’re –?”
“Woah, woah,” he cuts in. “Your apartment is not shitty.”
“It’s not a fucking penthouse, Joel.”
“It’s a nice apartment!” he protests, squeezing your shoulder. “Do you always gotta be so goddamn dramatic?”
“I bet you could fit my entire place inside your living room. Right? Am I right?”
He clicks his teeth and stuffs his hands into his pockets. “Naw,” he says, like a little kid. Twisting his toe into the marble floor. “Dressing room, more like.”
The doors part just in time for him to escape your drumming fists – his boyish snicker filling the cream hallway.
You spill out after him, pulse fluttering dangerously through your veins.
“You know what my place doesn’t have?” Joel says, fishing for his keys. “A poster of Richard Gere. I could use one of those.”
“Oh,” you feign amusement, “Well, you can have mine. I won’t be able to look at it now, anyways.”
He slots the key in the lock and turns. Drinks in the sight of you – on a comedown from only the second-hottest car ride you’ve ever taken.
“Your apartment,” he lifts a finger, “has you in it. It wins, every time.”
Your jaw clenches. Your heart begins a warning drum in your chest. Don’t you fucking dare. Don’t you fall.
Too late, you think.
The door sweeps open, and Joel beckons you forward.
“Ladies first.”
You slip by, stepping into a regal hallway. Smooth stone on either side, dark wood under your heels. All marble and mirror, classy, glassy décor. Golden spotlights which glow to life overhead, the deeper your footsteps echo.
It’s dark, and a little moody. Manly. The perfect marriage of masculine and chic. Cold steel and warm wood.
It looks like him. Classy and luxurious – but homey, warm. Everything that draws you to him, and everything that makes you want to stay.
Joel follows silently at your back, much the same as he did in his little white house. Looking to his feet when you turn back, fiddling with the strap of his watch.
You wander to the end of the hall, where the apartment widens. A towering living room – sylvan and rustic, the same muted tones bleeding through. Cityscape backdrop, pristine glass fire. A coffee table homing ornate vases and books on woodworking; a faux fur blanket over the couch and beside it, a worn flannel shirt.
You love it. You love all of it.
And loving his apartment is probably a bit of a copout, right? The easier way, the safer way to admit something much scarier. It’s just fragments of Joel, after all. It’s all the parts you’ve come to like best.
His heart, his soul. The kid with the freckles and scruffy hair, all grown up. Thrown into a big city, thrown into a big job. Thrown into a million-dollar penthouse – and still, he turns everything he touches into…home.
Joel presses his lips along your shoulder, perches his chin on your collarbone. Quiet, a little bashful – hiding from every secret he’s letting you in on just with being here.
Your eyes catch a brushed-gold frame on the sideboard, and you float over.
Faded by the sun and the years in between, there’s a peachy tint to the photo. A dreamy lilac sky, dark cedars fringing the background. A squint mailbox, cherry red with the name MILLER printed on.
Two boys, one as filthy as the other. Matching denim shorts and lanky limbs. Smeared with paint, in the midst of a brawl which nearly blurs their figures into nothing more than one head of dark hair, the other sandy.
You’d recognize him anywhere, though. Even with his arm hooked around his little brother’s neck.
“Tommy started it,” Joel says, elbowing your side. “See that smudge on the mailbox? He pushed me headfirst into the thing.”
Your chest leaps. “Who won the fight?”
He takes the frame and dusts it with the sleeve of his jacket. “Mom did,” he replies. “Threw the camera down ‘n dragged us inside. Grounded us for a week, made us repaint the entire thing.”
“How is your mom?” you ask.
Joel nods. “Good. She’s askin’ after you.”
“She still asks about me?”
“Yeah,” he says. “’cause I still talk about you.”
It prods low in your chest. Aching, stitching itself back together thread by thread. A wound twelve years in the making, the doing and undoing of everything you ever knew. Family and love; hurt and loss.
It’s okay to lose some things, you reckon. It’s okay to let them go. To watch that beat-up Toyota tear off for the horizon. To leave that man and his ring and the promises he’ll never fulfill.
There’s someone better waiting down the line, anyway. It starts with a page of doodles; it ends with your heart in his hands.
The safest place it’s ever going to be.
You cross your arms around Joel’s neck and pull him against your body. Pull him against the wound.
“I want to go see her again, tomorrow.”
“I think she’d like that.”
“Then I want to come back here and spend the whole weekend with you.”
He swallows. “Yeah. Yeah, I want that, too.”
You kiss him softly.
“And I want you to take me to bed right now, and show me how much you love me.”
The twinkling city is the only light left on this side of the apartment.
Half-drunk in a half-dim room, you stumble in backwards – tripping over thin air and collapsing onto the bed, pulling the six-foot shadow of your ex-boss-now-something on top.
The laughter rumbles from Joel’s chest. “I’m too old for this, pretty girl,” he says, sucking a mark into your neck.
“No big deal,” you titter, fumbling with the buttons on his shirt. “I’ll keep you going.”
He hovers over you, watching as you peel the clothes from his body. The heavy clink of his belt on the floor, the ruffle of slacks down his legs. He shakes the shirt from his arms and your lips connect again in the darkness.
Hips between yours, he drags your dress from the hem up over your arms. A hungry glimpse, tongue dabbing at the corner of his mouth – like it’s Monday morning all over again, and you’re on your knees in front of him for the first time.
Back when flirting was as harmless as delivering coffee and running errands. Back when he was one third of a fuck, marry, kill debate with Martha and Deb. Back when neither of you knew these versions of yourselves even existed.
Joel lowers – taking your nipple in his mouth.
“Shit,” you pant, fingers searching for the elastic around his waist.
He helps you tug his boxers off. His cock sways between his legs, smatter of come and damp saliva across your stomach as he guides you up the mattress. He takes the lace from your hips in his fist and rids you of it in quick motion.
“See what you do to your daddy?” he asks, tapping the weight of his cock against your mound.
You reach down, wrapping your fingers around him. He’s stubbornly solid again – throbbing under your touch. He shudders when you swipe a gentle thumb over his tip.
“Already came once ‘n you got him hard all over again,” Joel adds.
You take your lip under your teeth, stroking his cock. Your clit flutters at the thought of him pushing in. The stretch that feels so impossible, the punch of pain each time he reaches the end of your pussy.
It steals a sob from your lips. “I wanna ride you, Daddy,” you sputter, a solid shove on his shoulders.
He rolls onto his back, hands finding your hips as you mount his waist.
“Let me ride you,” you’re panting, lowering onto the dense muscle of his stomach. Quickly coating the trail of pubic hair with a pearly sheen. You rock back and forth, taking the stalk of him in one small hand.
“Let me ride – just wanna ride –”
“Alright, alright,” Joel hastens, sitting upright. He slips an arm around your back.
You whine. “You never let me, Daddy, I just wanna –”
“Shh,” he holds your jaw, “I’m gonna let you. I’m gonna let you, baby. Just gotta go slow, alright? I don’t want to hurt you.”
“I can take it,” you tell him, hands on your hips.
“I know,” Joel replies, “I know you can. Always do, huh?”
He slides his tip through your core, teasing your entrance. So wide that you can already feel your little hole struggling with just his head. He’s covered in you – your slick blending with his, your breath swapping.
“Three weeks, angel,” he fusses, beginning to edge you down. “Too goddamn long,” he adds, “You know how much I missed this pretty cunt?”
Your pussy sucks his length in, blooming for him. Warm and snug, spongey walls pinching every inch as he penetrates her. Like they’re made for each other, the same way you and Joel are.
“She missed you more,” you gasp, head tilted back to the ceiling. “I missed you more.”
Joel’s teeth pluck at the column of your throat, still raw from the memory of his dick. “Doing so good for me,” he hums, “Little more, okay?”
You collapse forward, boneless and weeping against his chest. The pain and the pleasure hammering through your veins – Joel’s thunder and your lightning. Every nerve on fire, every hair on your body standing to attention.
He holds you steady, hands still locked around your waist, cock still filling you up inch by inch. When your clit reaches the coarse hair at his base, Joel kisses from your chest up to your jaw.
“You feel that, baby?” he asks, two fingers lifting your chin. “Feel Daddy inside you? All of him, darlin’, you got all of him in there.”
You wiggle in his lap, hips aching with the effort of holding his full length. “So big, Daddy.”
Joel tenses, teeth gritting. “I ain’t gonna last long,” he admits, grip firm on your hips.
“That’s okay, baby,” you coo, nudging him back into the mattress. His cock slips from your slit, drizzled with slick. You feel so empty without him – electricity fizzling into nothing, walls clamping around nothing.
You brace yourself over his torso – reaching between your legs to guide him back to your entrance.
Beneath hooded lids, heavy with lust, Joel watches as you drag his tip through your folds. He presses his thumb to your clit, rough circles around the swollen hood, and parts your lips with his fingers.
His cock lines up, and you sink down.
“Christ, darlin’,” Joel groans. He flicks at your clit, his other hand coming up to pinch your nipple.
“I – Fuck,” you moan, bouncing on him. “Feels so – good, Daddy, I –”
You fall forward into the headboard – staying upright only with your fingers locked around the wood. You’re slipping, already barreling your way towards another orgasm.
You grind forward, rutting into Joel’s palm, falling back on his cock. Your spine curls; hands drop to claw at his chest, ground yourself there.
The edges of your vision begin to blur. It’s not like this, it’s never like this. No one has ever fucked you this good, this rough and this loving.
Joel’s balls slap against your ass. He bucks his hips, knees lifting to bump you forward.
“Attagirl,” he says, slipping a hand around your neck. He brings you down, nips at your lower lip. His forehead slides against yours. “Can feel you closing, darlin’,” he chuckles, “You gonna come for me?”
“D-dick,” you hiss.
He smirks. “Always look so pretty when you let go. You don’t wanna show Daddy how pretty you are?”
You writhe over him, biting down hard on your climax.
“My beautiful girl,” Joel murmurs in your ear. “Come for Daddy.”
And it throws you under.
Blinding, deafening. Every nerve in your body overcome, each one flipped to feel only Joel. His cock, buried deep inside, your walls clamped around him; his teeth on your skin, tongue soothing the scrape.
It’s never like this.
Never so euphoric, never such a perfect meld of bruise and bliss. The feeling of your body changing, altering down to the very last atom – blossoming anew. Fresher, purer, lovelier.
When you come back around, you’re on your back.
Legs wrapped around Joel’s waist; arms linked around his neck. He must’ve flipped you, the second you came.
He slips back inside, suckling on the skin beneath your ear, and drives his hips into yours. Ignores your yelps, your short breaths – just fucks into you like you’ll be gone in the morning.
Fucks into you like he’ll never get to do it again. Like he hasn’t been doing it for weeks. He fucks you so hard that it hurts; an ache already burning that you know you’ll still feel walking into work on Monday.
“Good girl,” he chants, over and over. “Daddy’s girl.”
Like a fever come over him – beads of sweat dotting his skin, flush in his cheeks. He fucks you mindless, senseless, wordless. Sobbing beneath him, each word soaking into the next.
Good girl. Good girl. Daddy’s girl, that’s it. Daddy loves you so much, baby. Gonna fill this little cunt up so good.
When your walls pull tight again, your third orgasm flooding from every pore in your body – Joel’s movements halt.
He comes with a painful jolt – his cock shunting into you once, twice, until he’s pumping you full of his come. Twitching deep within you, pulsing warm and messy inside your pussy.
He comes with a sound like song. Your name, entangled in a throaty groan – lips tucked somewhere between your neck and shoulder.
You finally hear it – for the first time in your life.
How it’s supposed to sound: low like thunder, Texan in its swing. No one else, you realize, has ever gotten it right – this right – before. As if only his lips were meant to speak it, his tongue designed to carve around the letters. His vocal cords strung to send the sound to your ears.
It’s his, you decide. Your name – and every other piece of you. All of you. It all belongs to him, now.
“Fuck,” Joel pants, one hand on the headboard to steady himself. He lets it rain down over you: “I love you so much, you know that?”
“Come here,” you whisper, and he falls into your body, “Come love me forever.”
Half-conscious and full bliss, you laze in Joel’s bed – all fucking night.
Strong arms hooked around your shoulders, heart to heart. Breath shared, whispering nothings and everythings in the space between your lips. He’s still buried deep inside, still tucked between your legs.
Bundled in satin sheets, kept warm by his body around yours. Talking shit, poking fun, flirting and fucking around. You play with his hands, sizing your open palm against his. You compare the scars and scrapes on your skin, spill the bloody story behind each one.
“Alright, big girl,” Joel yawns, eyes fluttering shut. “I’m beat. You killed me.”
You snuggle under his chin. “Get some sleep, old man.”
He takes a second to respond. He’s already going. This is probably the closest he’s been to actually sleeping for a good three weeks.
“Love you,” he exhales then, like the thought just lapped past his lips again.
You smile. Take his big hands in yours and lift them closer to your chest, tuck your chin over your interlocked fingers.
Something deep inside you lurches. Tries to escape. You tighten Joel’s grip, as if choking the words on their way up.
Joel’s breathing slowly begins to draw out – tiny sighs passing his lips. Your thumbs trace the short hair between his nose and top lip, combing it, nail ghosting over the lines on his lips.
A warm feeling floods through your body. Suddenly – it starts in your chest and washes over in waves, dousing you and the world around you in a dreamy rose. Like a sunset paints its way across the walls, the glint of gold where the light catches on the tower in the distance.
Peace, you think.
Only – there’s no end to it. No sleek black car to drag you away. No broken promises and half-truths. The ache in your chest pulls gently – a reminder, no longer a threat.
This will never leave. He won’t let it. It’s as safe as you are, now, wrapped in his arms. Nothing and no one to break you apart.
“Joel?” you whisper.
His eyelashes flutter, like even asleep he knows it’s something worth hearing. Like everything you could possibly say – What should we have for breakfast? My foot itches. Did you know Martha box dyes her hair? – it’s all worth hearing.
You gulp. “Joel, I wanna – I wanna tell you something.”
He crackles to life, words melting into one another. “…What is it…darlin’…?”
Your lips morph around voiceless words. Your tongue lifts to the back of your teeth, trying to force the sound out.
It’s everything, you think. You’re everything. Say it. Say it say it say it.
But he’s already dropping off again. He’s already being swept away somewhere you’re too tense to reach. And you’re not brave enough to push through the fog on your own, stick a trembling hand into the unknown and swipe for his.
So you let it go. Watch the words float off somewhere Joel can’t hear them.
You shrink yourself, slotting your head beneath his jaw, your cheek to his chest. He sighs into the crown of your head. His heartbeat thuds a familiar bassline into your ear. Hi, old friend. I missed you.
Maybe in the morning, you can swing by your place and grab a bag. Pack a few days’ worth of clothes, spend the first few mornings of your new career drinking velvety coffee in bed next to Joel. Sharing the mug, sharing the newspaper, sharing the shower when it’s time to get up.
Maybe you should call Martha, and apologize for skipping your party. She can fill you in on the night – the drunken dramas, the secrets spilled. She won’t ask about you and Joel – she’ll just know. And that’s enough.
Maybe you’ll throw the phone to the end of the bed after you hang up, discarded amongst the tangle of sheets, and lie back down next to a still sleeping Joel. Lay your head on his chest, like it is right now. Listen to his heartbeat, run your fingers across the dark hair.
And maybe you’ll think over the same three words currently racing through your head. Maybe you’ll try to piece together a sentence for him to hear, when you’re ready to say it out loud.
Maybe by morning, you’ll be brave enough to admit it to yourself, first.
That…yeah.
You love him.
904 notes · View notes
ragingbookdragon · 11 months ago
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Hanging By A Moment
Bayverse Transformers x Reader Blurbs
Word Count: 940 Warnings: None
Author's Note: I love TF so much. I miss it all lol -Thorne
**********************************************************************
Ironhide:
“This is…different,” she notes as she arrives into the darkened field; the veil of the moon blankets the land in an ivory haze, yet Ironhide’s sleek body is visible from even the edge. It’s remote enough that they don’t have to worry about being seen; she nears him with a curious look on her face. “Ironhide?”
His tailgate lowers and with a surprised expression that quickly gives way to a pleasant smile, she climbs onto the back, kicks her shoes off, and lays down on the makeshift bedding, resting her head on the pillow.
“Did you do this all for me?” she asks. “Aren’t you so sweet underneath all that firepower.”
“Have to treat my best girl, don’t I?” Ironhide teases back. “You’ve been working awfully hard lately. Even I know to take a break once in a while.”
She hums and curls into the blankets, almost feeling like they’re keeping warm and toasty. “No rest for the wicked, Ironhide. The Decepticons won’t wait while I rest.”
He grumbles, deep and low, and she can’t help but laugh. “Then you’ll rest, and I’ll kick ass.”
“Okay, bud,” she jokes, resting her head back on the pillow. “Take care of me while I rest.”
***
Rachet:
“When I said I wanted to spend some time alone with you, Rachet…this isn’t necessarily what I meant.”
His frame rumbles as he slows to a stop on the side of the canyon. “I can turn around, if you’d like?”
“You better not,” she warns and points a finger at the steering wheel. “You promised to take me out to the stars.”
She can hear the smile in his hum as he starts driving again. “When you mentioned you’ve always wanted to see the stars up close, I figured this would be the best I could give you.” He shifts back the roof, and her eyes widen at the expanse of bright stars above her.
“Oh my God,” she breathes, unable to help but stand up in the front seat, rising out of the rooftop. “Rachet, it’s…it’s incredible.”
He slows to a stop at the edge and stills. “It’s almost as incredible as you are. But somehow, their brightness can’t even come close to how beautiful you shine.”
Slipping back into the seat, she reaches forward and gently presses her lips to his steering wheel. “Thank you, Rachet. For doing this for me…for us.”
***
Bumblebee:
It’s almost one AM by the time they make it back into the city. Eerily enough, the roads are almost empty, and Bumblebee has a straight shot back to the facility, but he passes the particular highway that leads to it.
She notices from her sleepy haze in the passenger seat. “Bee? You missed the turn.”
He makes a noise that she recognizes as his answer of “Yes.”
“Where are we going?” she’s not worried in the slightest, knows that Bumblebee wouldn’t ever take her somewhere she could get hurt; she’s still curious though.
“Don’t worry about it,” a voiceover from a TV show filters through and she snorts tiredly.
“Alright, Bee, keep your secrets.” She shifts in his seat and reclines back, unable to help but trace the threading in the console. “You takin’ me home, Bee?”
“Take me home tonight!” he sings, and she smiles, gently shutting her eyes as the streetlights still shine across her face as they pass between shadows.
“I’m happy, Bee,” she murmurs. “You know that? I’m always happy with you.”
He’s silent for a long while and she wonders if maybe he didn’t hear her, but it doesn’t bother her as she curls up in the passenger seat and begins to drift off, only to hear quietly through the speakers, “I’m living for the only thing I know. I’m running and not quite sure where to go. And I don’t know what I’m diving into, just hanging by a moment here with you.”
***
Optimus:
“Sorry about the rain, Optimus,” she murmurs as they take shelter in the rundown warehouse. “I can’t imagine it’s going to let up…we’ll be here for a while.”
She watches as steam begins to flow from his body, fans in his processors blowing until the water is simply droplets here and there.
“That’s handy,” she jokes, and he meets her gaze with a smile.
“While rust isn’t a big a worry to myself as it is Ironhide, I’d rather not take any chances.”
She nods and takes off her jacket, wringing it out. “It’ll be dark soon. We should set up a perimeter.” The echoing of his transformation sounds in the warehouse, and she looks up. “Optimus?” His door opens and closes a few times until she gets the hint to climb in.
As she enters, the cab opens, and she slips further inside. It’s smaller than she imagined, given that outside he’s much larger but she assumes he’s somehow made some room for her. It’s a small bedding, smaller than a door, but enough that she can curl up on it, propping her arm under her head. She’s about to say it’s cold when the fans blow again and fill the cab with a warmth that feels like she wrapped herself in a blanket straight out of the drier.
And he knows it too as he asks, “Comfortable?”
“Mhm,” she murmurs and scoots back until her back is against the wall of his cab; it feels good to have him at her back, safe and secure. “I think I could lie here forever.”
“When there is peace, my spark,” he says. “We will lie forever.”
“Promise?”
“I promise,” and she knows his words ring with truth.
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disneyprincemuke · 1 year ago
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fly on the wall * fem!driver
she crashes in her third race of her f1 career, but she's more concerned about its repercussions than the concussion
pairings: sebastian vettel x fem!driver, lewis hamilton x fem!reader
warnings: crashing the car
notes: ooooh my god i had to rewrite this 5 times because it wasn't up to my liking initially, and then tumblr was having some issues saving my shit so i lost it?? it's very sad fr
(series masterlist) | (📂 the rookie season)
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"are you alright?" sebastian's voice comes onto the radio.
his eyes are trained on the big screen, cameras focused on the car parked into the wall out of a turn. he couldn't get an answer out of his driver so he had to resort to the third party.
if his assumptions are correct, she would have hit her head on her seat hard at impact. but things like that can lead to so many bigger things that he might not even be prepared for. 
her vision slowly returns, blacking out for a mere second as the car went into the barriers of the baku track.
she had issues with her brakes for a few laps. sebastian had suggested retiring the car if she didn't feel safe, but she pressed on. the issue didn't seem so serious and it seemed manageable.
at first. 
it's a driver error - missing the early braking point to accommodate her already tweaking brakes. she missed it by a millisecond, clipped the wall and got sent straight into the wall.
she sighs, pressing the button on her steering wheel. "i'm okay," she answers shakily, tears now filling her eyes.
"okay, that's the important part. don't think about anything else. i'll see you in the medical centre." sebastian is quick to shut her thoughts down, clearly prioritising her wellbeing and not the car.
"i'm sorry," she sighs, voice shaking and lips quivering. “i’m so sorry, seb.”
this is only her third race in f1, how could she have already crashed out? on a race where she was so close to that podium. it would have been such a monumental moment — a woman on the podium. 
with 20 laps left in the race and her in 5th place, it wasn’t all that far out of reach at the time. yet, here she is causing a yellow flag as she starts to notice the smoke surrounding her. 
"like i said. don't think about anything else."
she sighs to herself as a marshal appears above her halo, greeting her with a soft smile. she nods, letting herself get helped out of her car.
but only one thought eats away at her: she crashed on her third race. what's everyone going to say about her now?
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“let me talk,” sebastian sighs, hands up in the air as he tries to calm the girl sitting on the examination bed. he’s barely able to get a word in.
she’s slouched against the wall, purple balaclava in her hands as she traces the thread that holds it together at the hem. the minute he walked in, she looked up immediately with tears in her eyes and a string of apologies.
it hasn’t stopped since he poked his head through the door, cutting him off before he could even ask if she’s okay. 
“do you not see the problem?” she shrieks, eyebrows furrowing at sebastian. “i just crashed out! imagine what the media has to say about my performance today? they’re just going to use this as a reason to justify that i shouldn’t be on the track!”
sebastian drops his hands to his side, deciding that he’d just let her get it all off her chest. it might make her feel better. 
though, it doesn’t make him feel good that she’s continually talking down on herself. he vouched for her for weeks for a reason, and it’s because he believes in her. more than she does in herself, it seems. 
“i didn’t work my ass off my whole life just to be undermined because i’m a woman!” she tosses the balaclava aside, now picking at the loose skin by her fingernails. “i didn’t get this far for everyone to count me out because of one crash! can you fucking believe that shit? it’s a fucking rookie mistake, seb! i’ve been racing for years!”
she drops her hands by her side and groans again, rolling her eyes. “i’ve earned my rightful spot to be where i am! they are not going to care about that!”
sebastian shrugs slightly, overlooked by the infuriated woman across him. he can barely get a breath in before she continues, shutting his mouth immediately as she continues her rampage. 
“imagine the headlines tomorrow! a driver is as good as their last race — i know that! don’t try to sugarcoat it. you know i’m right!” she rambles on, eyes darting all over the room. she’s pushed herself off the wall slightly, clearly flustered over the course of events. 
she avoids sebastian’s eyes, the fear of fully breaking down in front of him prominent. crying over a crash seemed like such a silly thing to do, but there’s no denying how demanding the sport truly is. 
in her short three races in the season and people’s neverending criticism of her abilities, it makes her lie awake at night rethinking her position on the grid. 
following her crash, sebastian hadn’t expected for her to ramble on for this long. he initially thought that the crash would have sent her into a shocking silence, so while her anger is warranted, it was definitely not on his list of things to be ready for. 
“imagine what they have to say about me!” she throws her hands in the air, scratching her head gently. “imagine what they’ll say about you! it’s not going to be good, trust me! i’m a woman in a fucking racing car in a male-dominated sport!”
“hey!” sebastian’s voice bounces in the room, making her lift her head with her eyes narrowed into a glare. 
the sudden movement reminds her of her restrictions, hands coming up to nurse the back of her neck. she feels a sharp pain shoot through her head all the way down to her shoulders. “what?” she hisses, quickly looking down to hide the pain. 
“you literally just crashed head-first into a wall at 250 kilometres per hour! you’re lucky all you got was a concussion and whiplash! it could’ve been worse!”
“if i was lucky, i’d have been able to recover and get on the podium as we discussed! i was already 5th!”
“and you didn’t! that’s okay! you learn from things like these!”
“no, it’s not! i’m already hated as it is!”
“it’s part of the sport! fernando alonso has crashed, lewis has, and so have max and charles! every other big name in formula 1 has had their fair share! you’ll be okay!”
she finally meets sebastian’s eyes, slouching even more as she audibly sighs. he watches her body deflate, leaning back dejectedly. “it’s still different.”
she’s still in her fireproofs. her race suit had to be taken off during her short time with the doctor, hanging on the back of the plastic chair in the small medical room. her helmet sits next to her, underneath the balaclava she’d thrown on top of it. 
her hair is in a loose ponytail with stray hairs poking out and resting on her face. the adrenaline has yet to leave her body, chest heaving as if it’d just been over and beads of sweat still scattered all over her.
“i know it’s different. but everyone else who says whatever isn’t the person behind the wheel, you have to remember that,” he says in a soothing tone, finally coming up to stand next to her. he sighs, putting a hand on top of her head. “and i know it sucks.”
she shakes her head. “no, you don’t. we’re different; our problems are different.”
“the way they used to hate me, and things they say about you are different, yes,” sebastian nods in a low voice, his thumb now tracing circles on her head. “but you still can prove them wrong. you just started driving in formula 1 — you’ll have way more chances to shut them all up.”
“i could’ve already. if i just controlled the car a little better.”
“it’s okay.” he slides himself onto the examination bed, sitting next to her. he intertwines his fingers and rests his hands on his thigh. “everybody crashes at one point in their career.
“let the media say what they want, but not all that criticise you have been in a race before. nobody on that grid thinks you’re lesser than you are just because of what happened today.”
“you don’t know that.”
sebastian just shakes his head, refusing to elaborate any further. he leans back into the wall as well. “oscar is on the way with some snacks for you.”
crashing out during a race is never easy. years before he decided to retire, tapping and crashing out of a race has always been demoralising. it always feels like the first time when he does.
“i don’t need snacks. i need to go back to 4 hours ago when i was still on track for a podium finish in the first half of my rookie season.”
“with your talent, i can assure you that this will not be your only opportunity in formula 1. i will make sure of it, of course. wherever i go, you go.”
the door creaks open, cutting her off before she can throw an answer back as sebastian. “i’ve got your favourite snacks. i also stole a couple of twix bars from your backpack, i hope you don’t mind.”
“well, why’d you take them and still tell me about it knowing i wouldn’t even have given it to you in the first place?” she reaches for the nearest object next to her, yanking it towards oscar by the door. 
“because it was calling my name,” he shrugs, pushing the door fully open to reveal who he’s strung along to the medical centre. 
“i took a packet of haribo,” logan shrugs as he steps in. he flinches when she clenches her fist, scrambling to pull something out of his paper bag. “but i got you a can of sprite to make up for it! don’t be mad!”
her gaze softens when she notices lewis hamilton standing behind her friends, a paper bag hanging on his fingers as he grins at her. 
“how are you, sweetie?” his voice is empathetic and low, giving her a look that she’d seen from everyone she’s passed on her way here. 
she sees lewis and sebastian exchange glances, almost making her roll her eyes again. 
she doesn’t talk to lewis that often, but he has addressed her before when she would trail behind sebastian on the track. she would often greet him softly as she hid behind her mentor, or simply excuse herself when she sees either oscar or logan passing by. 
he’s a role model and the last thing she ever wanted to do was be too overbearing. to see him come to her aid is only a dream come true. 
“i hope you don’t beat yourself up because of that. you drove a brilliant race today,” he smiles. “everybody crashes out. don’t even care what others have to say about you. you did well.”
lewis understands being cast out as a minority. he will never understand the struggles and pressure put on her, but he can at least relate to a certain extent. “don’t even sweat it. you’re now one of the world’s greatest in a fast race car. you’d smoke anybody who would dare challenge you.”
oscar tilts his head. “why would someone random just challenge her out on the street?”
“oscar, shut up,” logan shoves the australian slightly, landing a warning smack on his shoulder after. “let her have her moment.”
lewis laughs but does wave oscar off as he returns his attention to her. “what they say will string, but trust me, this is not the end of the world. i know it feels like it.”
she nods to herself. “okay, hand me the snacks so i can eat away all my pain. i deserve it.”
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