#( girlfriend fucker | queue )
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sweetenedteeth · 2 years ago
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style experimentation w kitty <3 For some sweet art that can only be beat by some even sweeter deals, check out my pinned post for commission info! Shoot me a DM with any questions you may have!! < 3
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cobalt-axolotl · 1 year ago
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I plan on doing art RQS (request not the remnant queue system)
I would love if you submitted your head cannons and ask me my own.
About me
I am a demiromantic pansexual demiboy
I fictionkin Cassidy
Cassidy is my main blorbo
My prounouns he/him
My name is Austin but I also go by cobalt, charlie (my middle name is charles), and that mother fucker
My favorite fandoms are the following: homestuck, COTL, scp, fnaf, dsaf, Dhmis. Danny phantom, megaman, creepypasta, glitch productions, Minecraft, Ben 10, omori, undertale, sonic, gravity falls, Pokémon, bendy, TcoA&L, analog horror as a whole (especially Mandela catalog, angel hare, and Midwest Angelica), gr3gory88, helluva boss, hazbin hotel, TF2, moral orel, half life, half life VR but the AI is self aware, bioshock, 5YL, Spooky’s Jump-scare Mansion, The owl house, epithet erased, amphibia, Steven universe, Henry stickmin, disc world, AO ONI, pizza tower, and various tokusatsu
My favorite animal is the axolotl
I mainly post incorrect quotes and art but I do run an ask blog for my AU’s
I am a simp for papyrus undertale
Minecraft is my favorite video game
I run an 14+ blog
By the time I am making this edit I am 18 years old.
My OTPs are Evan x Cassidy and marlie
DNI (do not interact)
Transphobes
Racist
Sexist
TERFs
Homophobes
Pedophiles
Trolls
Stupid people (people who refuse to learn)
List of my AUs and they’re connected cannons
Golden children (fnaf)
Shattered souls (fnaf)
Malefactor malfunction (fnaf and Ben 10)
Glam it (fnaf)
Triple M (scp)
Xanthophobia (fnaf)
GMTC (fnaf and undertale)
B&P (fnaf and dnd)
NUCN (fnaf)
SBR (fnaf)
Under void (undertale)
Fazrune (fnaf and deltarune combo)
Like it never even happened (fnaf)
List of oc’s and ther connected AUs
Nick (my fnaf AUs)
Virgil (under void)
List of my AU’s with songs that describe them
Golden children: just gold by Mandi pony (I don’t like the guy I just like his music)
Shattered souls: creepin towards the dirt by griffinila
Malefactor malfunction: the ben 10 theme song (just replace the words Ben 10 with Cassidy)
Glam it: this comes from inside by the living tombstone
Triple M: secure container protect by madame macabre
Xanthophobia: look what you made me do by taylor swift
GMTC (give me the child): collared by vane
Bears and pizzerias: your the key by Kyle Allen music
Nicks ultimate custom night: replay your nightmare by hard ninja
Stuck in the back room (my alive AU): I’m still standing by Elton John
Under void: gasters theme by Toby fox
Characters in my AU’s
Cassidy Noelle Carter (died at 14 in golden child au) (in the golden children AU she becomes Fredbear and in the shattered souls, glam it, xanthophobia ,and malefactor malfunction AU she doesn’t die) (can speak German) (learned German so she can figure out what’s bothering Nick and calm him down) (in xanthophobia nicks death drives her to the point of insanity and causes here to become a serial killer “super edgy I know”) (in shattered souls she marries Evan but doesn’t change her last name due to her hatred for William) (learned Korean from her mother and is fluent it)
Evan afton (crying child) (died at 12 in golden children au but not dead in malefactor malfunction, glam it, xanthophobia, or shattered souls Au) (loses all sense of empathy after the bite of 83 in xanthophobia “a head injury can do that to you right?”) (marry’s cassidy in shattered souls)
Benny afton (Cassidy’s and Evan son biological son in shattered souls) (an analog to golden children Cassie)
Goldie (he’s here he’s there he’s everywhere who you gonna call psychic friend fred-bear)
Gregory afton (Vanessa’s brother in the golden children au) (trans gender FTM)
Cassie Maxie Carter (nick and Elizabeth’s adopted daughter in the golden children AU) (named after her aunt)
Kasey Roxanna Carter (Cassidy’s twin sister) (nicks older sister) (lesbian) (cares for Nick as much as Cassidy but is unable to understand him at times) (neli’s ex girlfriend) (posses Roxanne wolf) (currently dating Susie) (learned Korean from her mother and is fluent in it)
Gaberiel grim (died at 10) (died in 1985) (possesses Freddy)
Jeremy grim (died at 11) (died in 1985) (posses Bonnie)
Fritz smith(died at 3) (died in 1985) (posses foxy)
Susie McCarthy (died at 14) (died in 1985) (posses chica) (Kasey’s current girlfriend)
Adrian smith(died at 5) (died in 1987) (part of the second mci) (posses mangle)
Millie fitzsimmons (died at 18) (died in 1987) (part of the second mci) (possesses toy Bonnie)
Markus Murphy (died at 17) (died in 1987) (part of the second mci) (possesses toy Freddy)
Nelli Twain ( died at 16) (died in 1987) $part of the second mci) (possesses toy chica) (Kasey’s ex girlfriend)
Jake McCarthy (died at 6) (died in 2016) (used to posses stitch wraith along with Andrew)
Andrew Montgomery Emily (died at 16) (died in 1987) (part of the second MCI) (posses Monty in the golden children au) (used to possess stitch wraith along with Jake) (was besties with Cassidy and Evan)
Charlie Emily / Charlie afton (not dead in the golden children or Xanthophobia au) (is dead in shattered souls) (marries Mike in the golden children au)
Mike afton
Vanessa afton (Mike and Charlie’s daughter in golden children au)
Elizabeth Clair Afton / Elizbeth Clair Carter (doesn’t die or posses baby in the golden children au) (died at 8 in the shattered souls & malefactor malfunction AU’s) (is nicks best friend) (dies to circus baby in shattered souls au) (takes Evan’s place in shattered souls au) (born in 1979 in the main 2 AU’s) (married to Nick as an adult in the golden children au) (going to college to become a psychologist in the golden children au)
Malary Emily ( Henry’s wife) (Charlie and Sammy’s mom)
Henry emily (dies at 63) (championed for better treatment of autism in the golden children AU)(mentored Nick in robotics after Edd’s death)
Clair afton (died at 20 due to suicide) (Williams ex)
Loralai afton (Williams current life) (survives in every AU I made) (her name is also a pun on Ballora) (Evan and Elizabeth’s mom)
William Afton (Dies at 36)
Dave miller (nicks therapist) (named after book and DSAF Dave)
Nikki Carter (Nick, Kasey, and Cassidy’s mom) (Korean immigrant) (left while Nick was too young to remember) (may or may not have indirectly been the cause of David’s abuse to towards Nick)
Malcom faraday zanaflex (main protagonist of my scp au)
Dr Elias Munro (died at 79 on the year 1981) (original owner of fredbear’s sing’n show) (was a father figure to Henry and William) (was their boss before he retired in 1955)
Zachary Munro/nightmarionne (not dead) (became a mutant after a remnant injection) (immortal) (grandson of Elias)
Garret schmit (basically Garret from the movie combined with Mike from the movie)
Abby schmit (just Abby from the movie)
Jeremy Fitzgerald
Sammy Lewis emily (is younger than Charlie in these AU’s) (like around nicks age) (non verbal until his twelfth birthday) (good with Rubik’s cubes) (dies in xanthophobia and takes charlottes place as the puppet)
Billy (AI created by William afton to watch after evan while he worked on his projects)
Jack Kennedy (named after the one from DSAF just nota corpse) (Bonnie mask Bully) (gave Nick the spring Bonnie mask) (was much less willing than mikes other friends during the bite of 83) (mikes right hand man)
Maddison Simmons (jacks girlfriend) (chica mask Bully) (was much more willing than her boyfriend)
Jerry Mann (Freddy mask bully) (just as willing as Mike & Emilia)
Vinny (literally just exist to be Sammy’s boyfriend because I don’t like Sammy being forever alone)
Nickolas Alastair Carter (Kasey and Cassidy’s younger brother) (has a red Bonnie plushi named mr Marvo) (is a paranoid schizophrenic) (was raised by his sisters due to them having bad parents) (takes Cassidy’s place in shattered souls au) (works at the pizzaplex in the glam it au) (born in 1983 in the main 2 AU’s) (has a slightly un healthy obsession with Bonnie the bunny) (was hired on by Henry during the events of fnaf 1 in golden children AU) (often wore a Red Bonnie halloeeen mask as a child) (can speak German but only does it when he’s extremely angry or when he finds a certain word to be extremely funny) (autistic “like me”) (he’s also really defensive about his intellect) (died in a ball pit in shattered souls au) (acespec panromantic) (post ffps his soul transfers into eclipse in the SS Au)
Edwin Alastair Carter (Aka. Grandpa eddy) (Nick and Cassidy’s grand father) (their only parrental figure that isn’t abusive to Nick) (was hired by Henry and William to design the springlock suits) (built the mimic as a friend for Nick) (also made the old man consequences AI)
David mobi carter (Nick, Kasey, and Cassidy’s father) (abusive towards Nick in specific) (Cassidy is his favorite) (ignores Kasey) (is manipulative towards Nick)
Old man consequences (an AI that acts as a sorta therapist to Nick in my AU’s)
Nightmare (before being possessed by half of nicks soul it was the first working springlock suit known as proto lefty) (not one of the nightmare animatronics) (half of nicks soul)
Marvo Marvelous (half of nicks soul in the shattered souls au) (a red magician hare)
NYX
Glitchtrap (separate from mimic) (had his consciousness put into a roomba)
Captain poncho (nicks imaginary friend) (scares Gagleon)
Stitch wraith (possessed by Andrew and Jake)
Fredbear (possessed by Cassidy and Evan in golden children au)
Plush trap (in the golden child au he is a little drone sent out by null trap)
Null (second spring Bonnie suit that William place Evans body in after he died) (possessed by Evan in the both AU’s)
Mxes the hare (in the au he is named after mr mxes) (the au version of him looks more human in the AUs) (in golden children au he was first an animatronic for the fnaf 1 location that filled the same role as the then defunct security puppet) (created my nick)
RWQFSFASXC (all of nicks insecurities in physical form) (main antagonist of the GMTC AU) (shadow Bonnie)
Shadow Freddy
Mr mxes (has half of Cassidy’s soul inside of it in golden child au) (is choc full of agony from Nick)
Mimic (nick and Cassidy pretend he’s their older brother as in all three AU’s he just lives with the two)
Nickolai (animatronic human built by Henry as a third entertainer at fredbear’s family diner) (starts wearing a Fredbear Halloween mask after the mci for… “reasons”)
Void Bonnie (shattered souls spring Bonnie) (has a shadow variant name dark trap) (this Springbonnie is possessed by Nick not William afton as he simply feeds off of William’s agony) (heroic counterpart to Springtrap) (takes golden Freddy’s place in shattered souls AU) (born from Nick’s corpse being put into a certain ball pit) (name after the void between the physical and spiritual plains)
Mangle
Miketrap (the pit creature before metamorphosing into pit Bonnie) (a Monroe experiment)
Salvage (an old springlock suit given life through mysterious means) (a Monroe experiment)
Nightmarionne (a nightmare version of the puppet) (a Monroe experiment)
Remnant Queue System (the shadow’s child)
Night-watch (machine built by Mike to hunt down what’s left of Fazbear entertainment and destroy William once and for all) (-the rebuilt endo of Fredbear)
The classics
The toy animatronics
The withered animatronic
Springtrap (not darktrap) (in shattered souls darktrap used the spring locks to curve his violent tendencies and forget about him being a killer) (in shatttered souls his charge goes from being a humanized billcipher as William to a dsaf Dave miller and gruncle stan combo as Springtrap)
The nightmares (evil versions of the twisted ones in the golden children au)
The fun times
Ennard the clown (the in between of the fun times and glamrocks with his blood lust being replaced by a humanoid level of sapience) (has a shape sifting gimmick which he uses to entertain kids)
The Glamrocks
The twisted ones (in the my AU’s they’re good guys and built by Mike along with night-watch)
The hellfire animatronics (upgraded versions of the twisted ones)
The night terror animatronics (scrap’s, night terror Freddy, night terror Bonnie, night terror foxy, and night terror chica,)
The salvage animatronics (salvage Monty, salvage freddy, salvage ennard, and darktrap) (constructed from broken animatronics) (end is are exposed) (partially inspired by the ignited animatronics)
And the omori charecters are cannon to the malefactor malfunction au cuz why the fuck not
The springlock animatronics (fredbear, spring Bonnie, and Alastair)
Villains for malefactor malfunction can be found here
How the AU’s work
Each au has four version (book style in which it falls into silver eye’s continuity, game style in which it falls into game continuity, movie style in which it falls into movie continuity, and amalgam style in which it combines all three continuity’s into one)
In xanthophobia Cassidy is the villain (William afton die’s extremely soon in the AU and for once in his life never comes back)
So in my most of my AU’s the souls are able to grow old despit not being alive which explains any shipping you might see. Most of it isn’t my doing though
Elizabeth x Nick is only cannon in golden children
Unless its Evan x Cassidy or Mike x Charlie
TF2 is cannon in the golden children au (i mostly just wanted to make fnaf 2 Jeremy TF2 Jeremy)
The golden children au takes place in the late 80s to early 90s with flash forwards towards the pizzaplex era while the shattered souls au takes place in 1991 and the malefactor malfunction shifts the entire time line to start in 2000 GMTC takes place around 1999 to 2018 xanthophobia takes place in in the 2000s and 2010s
In shattered souls Springtrap is much nicer due to him losing his murdeous tendencies after getting spring locked
malefactor malfunction is a Ben 10 fnaf crossover with Cassidy having a version of the omnitrix called kaizotrix
The blog itself is cannon in all AU’s
This is a link to the malefactor malfunction aliens list for all of Cassidy’s kaizotrix transformations
As well as facts about the malefactors
Also a timeline for my main AU
*Warning*
Some times I can be very cringe
Check these people out too
@sparkledogzvomit
@sotogalmo
@asksamanthalawrence324
@hearts4ggy
@therealprismcat
@afton-family-askblog
@midnight--motorist
@corpserabbit
@sassysoulstranger
@harley-angel
@simply-icarus
@fredbearcassidy
@wind-the-music-box
@kriemhild-kafka
@dommarhooober
@sea-menace
@ask-basil-omori
@amilotta
@apocalypticjay
@shywizardflower
@beardedstrangerdreamland
@ilovelawrencee
@kaycrowley
@lizzie-get-in-the-robot
@vinyl-lol
@viarayy01-blog
@ghosts-cant-die-twice
@it-came-from-mount-ebott
@idsfantasy
@childo0p
@thecryptidart1st
@the-smiley-blue-axolotl
@museumoftinyhens
@i-live-in-your-basement
@serpentdragon777
@ramunehana (if you 18+)
@artistmediocore
Also check my alts
@cobal-axolotl-undertale
@tokucross-fanproject
@red-documents-redo
@nick-and-cass
@nightmare-from-fnaf4
I also put Nick official design down here
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Here is my creepypasta and uncharacteristically ask blog
An here at my character designs so far https://www.tumblr.com/random-world-64/735868089007259648/all-my-major-chararacters-so-far
And here’s some fanfics I’m working on
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her is my sona AXOL
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Lore alarm
The blog itself is also a cross over point for my AU’s and in multiverse it’s ran by the characters
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killingbill · 2 years ago
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Pride in Promises
Summary: William Afton both finishes, and shows his wife the first Bonnie the Bunny suit. The first design he created using his original drawings, and created entirely himself.
Words:587 archiveofourown link
It's my first attempt at writing Will Afton! My girlfriend and I are working on a timeline of sorts. I wanted to write one of William's proudest moments… Or, at least the start. I know it's not much of .. a story, or anything. But! It's here. Short, and there's no attempt to write Mrs. Afton yet. But uh, there we go.
If you listened hard enough, with a hand to your ear - (or perhaps not so carefully)… You could hear his chuckles throughout Fredbear's Family Diner.
First they're sparse, but slowly grow deeper… The next more quick, and lighthearted. Almost as if he'd heard a joke that was only becoming more amusing over time. Hilarity seeping into his bones, and causing him to throw his head back in delight. His exposed teeth curving in an illusionists smile.
William's eyes press shut, with lithe digits curling over the bronze of his name-plate. Swivel chair rolling in a spin, when Mr. Afton pushes himself from the desk to give himself momentum. Beginning to move in a circular trajectory towards the door in preparation for his wife's arrival.
William hears her heels clicking down the hall soon enough. Yes, right on queue isn't she? He knew she would come, eventually. She always did, when Will was laughing away in his office. It was never a dull moment, when amusement tickled him. The small business owner slumping back into his chair, with both heels planted upon the dirty floor. Toes extended upward towards the dim lighting, above a costume designer's glorified broom closet.
Afton relaxes. One could even go so far as to call his posture limp, whilst he looks up at the ceiling. Four limbs hang from the seat, whilst William continues to chuckle. Softly, or… almost distantly.. One, single tear sliding down the man's cheek.
Ah, there she is.. The buildup of sound not-so-lost upon his ears, when she continued her approach. Echoing sound igniting the devious excitement in his giddy smile, within little more than a fraction of a second.
His wife creaks open the door. It immediately slams against a lock, threaded by chain through a brass slot.
"-- Shit -" Afton makes a soft huff of a laugh. "A moment, love."
Fredbear is already built, with a performer hired. At least until such time as he can get himself more acquainted with whatever that chicken fucker has going on, over at Chica's Party World. Latest in technology and innovation.. His ass.
Last time he checked, that bastard Emily had nicked one of his designs.
Regardless, William begins to bunch up as he gives his wife an almost sneering grin. Easily confused for, (and truly is), a pleased smirk of smug pleasure. He hadn't allowed her to see his creation. Just designs and schematics. Pen to paper, really. But, now? He is finally finished.
Heels brace against the floor, which is far from his vision. But it'll do, for now. Checkered anew in his future location. His tomb.. Yet not so much as what sits slumped and smiling wide under lamps above his desk. Paws stitched into the full body costume, that hang over the faux wood.
Once having fiddled with the lock, Will bows as he swings open his door. Forearm extended, and leg outward.
"Look what I made." His low, British accent eventually inquires from beneath a veil of greying hair.
Eventually, his head tilts upward. Expression proud, whilst stepping aside. His gangling legs moving forth to the suit, to which he promptly tugs at the thick, purple bow-tie around the bunny's neck.
His grey eyes admire it whilst he speaks.
"He's finally finished. My original design -" Afton turns around. Winding up just outside the bunny's legs, before leaning back against the surface. Crossing his ankles, and extending his limbs to lean upon the workspace. He smirks, with lips crooked. "Bit better than i imagined, don't you think?"
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favatrice · 2 years ago
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Aaahh totally forgot about this posting from my queue today 🥺
Hello dear past me, you are indeed still on this hellsite without a life. Tumblr is not getting rid of me!
You did graduate! Well done. You dont have a job yet, but working on it. But hey girl you did finally get your own place! It has some issues but you would be in awe of it nonetheless, as i am today. Parents are moving away in March and we are currently organizing a going away party for them, very anxious about all the responsibilities, but its for them. You would love to know that i still suck at making backups, but luckily so far nothing happened... yet.
You finally did it, past me! You are in therapy! Its a big adjustment but lets see where it takes us. Currently trying to fix our sleep schedule. Next appointment we might discuss sleeping meds.
New obsession happens to be Warrior Nun and we are fighting a holy war on twitter to get it saved, cause netflix fuckers had the audacity to cancel it. Hope future me can tell us if they are enjoying season 7 right now. No crushes, no girlfriends.. same old same old.
Really needed that little positivity. Thanks past me. We'll do just fine. 😇
Happy 30th Birthday future me!
Are you still on this hellsite? Please get a life.. dkjsjf
This is your 27 year old self writing from one of the worst years in your life which is 2020. I think that says enough. 
So, how are you doing? Did you graduate? Did you get a job? Your own place? Did your parents move away yet? I hope you’re doing much better than I am at the moment. I am still trying to graduate and I just failed my second time for the graduation project due to a little HDD incident with a magnet, making you lose all your files close to the deadline.. whoops. You really need to learn to make back-ups properly. 
How is your health? Asking about mental health mostly, cause you were planning on going to therapy once youre done with school. Did you? 
Do you have any new obsessions? Maybe a crush? A girlfriend???????? Hah you wish.. 
Just a reminder, 30 is a great age, dont get too worried about accomplishments or whatever. Youre doing good. Youre going at your own speed. Theres so much more to experience and you have a long life in front of you. Enjoy every moment of it! 
I hope you’ll be able to look back at this message and realize how far youve come.
Don’t forget to love yourself :)
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ernest-shackleton · 4 years ago
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I am going to commit a murder, lads ;)
#I haven't been this angry in months#i go to h&m#i decide to purchase a shirt#i queue at the register#i try to keep the distance as strictly as possible#a dude and his (girlfriend wife whoever is evil and stupid enough to be with him) come up behind me and lord i know there's not much space#but it was enough that they could have kept a distance#dude stands 20 cm away from me#i ask him to keep his distance and mind my own business listening to music#he backs off#i get to the register#am not fast enough taking off my headphones so i have to ask the cashier to repeat her question#she asks do you need a bag. i say no. behind me i hear 'are you fucking disabled keeping your headphones on'#this man and his audacity. his wife tries to talk him out of it unsuccessfully. i ask him what business he has talking to me that way#he says i was rude to him and gets to insulting me more#i reply that he can't even keep a distance I don't need to have him talk to me at all#his wife says just pay. girl or boy or whatever to me. clearly they think I'm a small child if they think they can talk to me like that#they also used Du all the time. fucking uncultured garbage fuckers#the man asks me literally if he should Count The Distance and i reply if that's what it takes then yes. 20 cm is clearly Not 1.5 m#he gets angry#i say he's being assozial not caring about anyone else. he says I'm not the one being assozial. classic deflection#he didn't think I'd b prepared for that but for once my mother's abuse prepared me for life so i just#apologised to the cashier called him assozial and disrespectful and fucking inconsiderate#put on my headphones and left#i had the last word so i came out on top bc either ihe had to back down or he yelled after me which I didn't hear and made a fool of himsel#in conclusion: i hate men#like i am Not one to make a scene in public i swear but I'll also not be talked to like that
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pizzafcrensics · 7 years ago
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           “--So is this the thing ya went through ta get to the fairy club?” he asked his sister as he looked from the portal to her. He’d been wondering how and where she’d been able to get into the other world since she came back. But now he was second guessing going through the portal again. “I mean do we really gotta go in there? Not that it wasn’t fun or anything...” because there had been some very good looking gals in there, “but I don’t wanna wind up like you an’ be gone for a year.”
@warriorsxheart liked for a thing & got a thing
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elizabethrobertajones · 2 years ago
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aurgh so I searched "y'shtola/zero" in case tumblr ISN'T broken where slashes kill tag search, and technically it does, but it also did search every post with y'shtola and zero both in
NONE OF YOU FUCKERS ARE SHIP TAGGING THE ART OF THEM BEING CUTE GOTH GIRLFRIENDS. GOREOUS COSPLAYS WITH 2 NOTES.
HOW AM I MEANT TO FIND THIS IF YOU JUST SLAP CHARACTER TAGS ON AND WANDER AWAY?
I mean maybe it's on me for not searching their unique character tags earlier but I sort of assumed we'd have a common ship tag soon enough. And I don't follow Y'shtola's tag because I'm scared of seeing weird horny booby art of her that goes out of my comfort zone :P
Anyway, queue shuffled with many more things in it with my girl Zero, and I followed all her many character tags to cast a wide net :(
honestly for the sake of tidier tagging
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bringmoreknives · 3 years ago
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tagged by @awsugar and @iero to do this!! i’ve never done this one so ty :’)
1. Why did you chose your url
when i REALLY got into mcr in like january 2020 (i’d been a fan before but pretty much only listened to about half of revenge and then tbp and dd) sorrows was one of the very first songs of bullets i got into specifically the knives/sorrow demo on mdnsy. i was checking for canon mcr urls and i saw that this one was taken and i was DESPERATE to have it (also because it’s a bit more ~niche~ reference to our lady) so on the off chance i dm’ed the blog and its owner just happened to check tumblr for the first time in years a few days later and let me have it :) akdjfhksdjhf that was so long
2. Any sideblogs?
technically THIS is a sideblog because @wakemeupbeforeyouvangogh is my main (i didn’t understand how accounts work when i made this blog) but i also run @seaborns (tv, mostly criminal minds and the west wing), @njolras (les mis), i used to run @vsuvia (the arcana) but it’s inactive now, and i also make gifs and content for @daily-cm
3. How long have you been on Tumblr?
it was my ninth anniversary on my birthday ;____;
4. Do you have a queue tag?
yeah, it used to be #still into queue but now i don’t wanna use that bc ch*d so it’s #drain the fantasy of queue which is from pool by paramore aka THEEEEE song. i try to keep a pretty active queue but i forget a lot
5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?
my friend sarah had a blog in sixth grade and it was all about superwholock (of course) i can still so clearly picture the photo of the eleventh doctor she had in her sidebar. but my parents were super strict on the internet (and also i had just recently had someone creep on me on instagram) so they didn’t let me get a blog until i was 13 and it had to be about something educational (hence the van gogh theme for my main). until then i checked a few blogs like the morning paper. and i made this blog because my dad didn’t know how tumblr worked and i was getting into bandom and bored of not posting about it
6. Why did you chose your icon/pfp?
love of my life
7. Why did you choose your header?
it’s not the best picture of it but i really love the brand new eyes stage setup with the picture frames and it goes with my icon
8. What’s your post with the most notes?
it’s this hayley edit with almost 40k which is so embarrassing because i didn’t properly source either of the pictures and i think the second one is actually someone else’s edited pic that i just slapped a sepia filter over...... i was 14 i didn’t know better
9. How many mutuals do you have?
it’s really hard to tell bc mutual checker doesn’t work since this is my sideblog
10. How many followers do yo have?
3,160 <333
11. How many people do you follow?
okay please don’t lose your minds but 2,308..... a ton of them are inactive it’s just genuinely too many to unfollow with inactivity checker
12. Have you ever made a shitpost?
yeah lasjfhlaskdjfhh a ton i think my best shitpost is the compilation of star wars actors trashing kylo ren
13. How often do yo use tumblr a day?
it really depends and it’s kind of less rn because i work a lot but i’m assuming i’ll be more active when im home in a few days with nothing to do but i tend to try to at least queue some stuff before i go to bed
14. Have you ever had an argument/fight with another blog?
yeah jdfhdkjfh multiple times. when i was younger it was dramatic but now it just tends to be arguing with reposters
15. How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?
if it’s like political or about something going on in the world then i’ll probably reblog it, if it’s one of those old-fashioned “LISTEN HERE FUCKERS LET ME EXPLAIN U A THING” then i will ignore it. unfortunately reblog bait (i.e. reblog this for good luck or you’ll have the worst day of your life) gets me because i have ocd
16. Do you like tag games?
yeah i love them i’m just so bad at remembering to do them
17. Do you like ask games?
YES i absolutely adore them but for some reason like EVERY time i post one i have to go do something else but i want to do more
18. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?
i honestly have no idea. mack and kay both have a lot of followers but idk if that counts as tumblr famous... is tumblr famous even a thing anymore
19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?
i am in a healthy loving relationship with my polycule the bandom creators server <3
20. Tags
hm i tag: @dangersday @smileandasong @raytorosaurus @lolalovesu @girlfriend-frank @adamlazzara and @mikeywayinc! sorry if any of you have been tagged before i cannot read <3
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lumiolivier · 4 years ago
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The Good Old Days Chapter Twenty-One: The Borderlands Job
A/N: Hi, friends! Alright. I know. I'm a little late with this, but it's also been a hell of a week. And again, I know. I need to put these on a schedule. Load them into the queue as soon as I finish them. That'd be a good idea. But anyway, here we have it. Enjoy.
ICYMI: Chapter 20: Heart to Heart
So, this was it. Walking into hell with the two people I trust most in this world. Well…Not quite hell. Hell adjacent is more like it. Here we are. Out in the borderlands. And for what? That’s right. The Old Man has a big ass payout from this place. It seemed like a classy place. When we walked in, the furniture was all leather. The walls were crushed velvet. Damn, Old Man. What the hell did you send us to? But the humidors behind the bar and the heavy smell of smoke told me all I needed to know. Cigar bar. Got it��Until I saw the stage and the runway in the middle of the room. Alright. Gentlemen’s club. Got it. Not judging.
“Alright, boys…” I stood in the doorway, doing a quick check of the place. It’s awfully quiet in here. Maybe that’s a good thing, “We’re going to collect and get the hell out of here. I know he says it’s cool if we enjoy ourselves a little, but this place is making my skin crawl.”
“That’s because you got a girlfriend, Frankie,” César pointed out, keeping his voice down. And getting an eyeful of the lovely young ladies center stage. Between César and Tony, César always was the poon hound, “Not all of us are so fortunate.”
“This place feels like the type to pay for regular health screenings.” Granted, César was a slut, but that didn’t mean Tony couldn’t appreciate the art in the museum, too.
“Probably,” I still couldn’t believe those two. They’ve both tried taking me to strip clubs before, but…Even before I started dating Vanessa, they just…weren’t something for me. They made me feel weird. And not the good kind of feel weird they were supposed to make me feel. Nine times out of ten, I’d be asking the girls when they’d get off and buy them a drink afterward. I’ve made a few friends like that, “But focus. We got work to do before you two can drool. And remember what your jobs are.”
“Yeah, yeah,” César brushed me off, his eyes wandering a little more, “Make sure our hermanito doesn’t get into trouble. Got it.”
“You two disgust me,” I shook my head in disappointment, “I hope you know that.”
“Excuse us for having a libido.”
“Hey!” a big mother fucker from the bar stepped up to us. Under normal circumstances, I’m sure he’s intimidating as hell, but I had an ace in the hole, “Who are you? I’ve never seen you in here before.”
“What?” I shrugged, “I can’t try somewhere new?”
“It’s not that,” Big Guy pointed out, “You don’t just walk in here off the street. You get invited here. And I don’t remember anyone saying you or your buddies were invited tonight.”
“It’s fine,” I knew how to handle assholes like this. And I was taught well. On top of that, I’ve been given express permission to name drop if I had to. Or, in dire situations, assume someone else’s identity. Especially if it was for the sake of saving my skin. And it always helps that the Old Man is kind of a recluse, “I’m sure a man of my standings has a permanent spot on that list.”
“You seem to think so,” he scoffed, “Get the fuck out of here before you’re forcibly removed…”
“People call me the Old Man,” I carried myself with the same sense of well deserved respect the Old Man did, “I’m here to pick up a little something, something, if that’s alright with you. Now, I’d like to speak to the bartender please.”
“You…” Big Guy backed off a little, “You’re the Old Man?”
“That’s right,” I held my ground.
“You look a little young for that kind of title,” he argued, “Are you even legal to drink in here?”
“More than legal,” I growled, still keeping a level head, “I can’t help I got good genetics and a pretty face, friend. Boys!”
“Yeah?” Both César and Tony hopped to my side. Alright. That’s comforting. If this guy wanted to pick a fight or found out I’m not the Old Man, it’s good to know I had backup.
“Why don’t you two keep our new friend here company?” I suggested, “I’m going to go pick up what we’re here for and then, if there’s time, maybe have a drink or two. After that, we’ll leave. I’m sorry. I haven’t even asked your name yet, man.”
“It’s Todd.”
Really? I didn’t think someone that’s easily six and a half feet tall and a perfect bowling ball to be named Todd. But who was I to judge? I gave him a nod, “Alright, Todd. Why don’t you make sure these two are taken care of? I got a package to pick up.”
I didn’t even give him a chance to answer. I had bigger shit to worry about. And if all else fails, I know Tony and César can hold their own in a fight. That’s just something I don’t want to have to explain to Mama in the morning. Although, I’m sure if I point all fingers toward the Old Man, I’d be absolved of all crimes here and everything would be fine. Except for the fact that my brothers’ faces would be fucked up. A sacrifice I’m willing to make.
I went into the back where an older man stood behind the bar, “Excuse me…”
“Yes, sir,” he smiled politely, “How can I help you? If I overheard you right, you’re the one they call the Old Man around here, right?”
“That’s right,” I kept up the façade. At this point, I think it’s what’s keeping my ass alive, “And I’m thinking there’s something waiting for me here.”
“No,” the bartender shook his head, making sure to keep his voice down, “You’re not the Old Man.”
My stomach dropped. Oh, shit. This guy knows. But I couldn’t let him see me sweat, “Excuse me? Yeah, I am.”
“I know Gregorio,” he pointed out, “I know him very well. Sit down, son. Let’s talk.”
“Ok…” I wasn’t sure where this was going, but the Old Man didn’t tell me he was sending me to a friend, “I mean, I am Gregorio, but I don’t remember us meeting.”
“I’ve known Gregorio for a very long time,” the bartender got an envelope from under the bar. And a damn thick one, too. Then, he poured me a glass of brandy with a splash of peach tea in it. I never was the type for brandy, but I could stomach it for the sake of keeping up appearances, “He and I went to school together for a while. Around the time he first came here. I found myself falling on hard times years later and I told him about it. My landlord was about to evict me. I was lucky if I could feed my kids. You know what he did?”
“What?” This story was feeling a little familiar. It was at that moment I realized the Old Man had a soft spot for a lost cause.
“He took my wife and my two kids for dinner that night,” he smiled, “He was telling me all about this new job he got and the man he was working for and how he had a little bit of power in this town now. When we were still in school, I was always the one mixing drinks for people. He got me the job here. And I’ve been here ever since. Mostly just to oversee things. Kind of like when some random punk off the street comes in and impersonates him. Before your mind jumps to conclusions, I’m not going to out you and I’m not going to take you out in the alley. I just want you to be honest with me.”
“Ok…” I wasn’t sure where this was going, but I was starting to love the Old Man a little more every day, “What did you want to know?”
“What’s your name, kid?”
“Me?” I thought it over for a minute or two. Do I be honest with him or do I tell him I’m still the Old Man? Obviously, he knows I’m not him, but if I fold, I could be fucked. I think I could trust his story, “Francisco Mendoza.”
“I’m guessing you work for him, don’t you?”
“I do,” I nodded.
“And just out of curiosity,” he wondered, “How did you know I wasn’t going to pull a gun from under the bar and put a bullet between your eyes for impersonating one of the best men to walk the streets of New York?”
“You really want to know?” I smirked a bit, “I watched you pour my drink.”
“That could’ve also been poisoned.”
“It wasn’t, though,” I explained, “The Old Man’s drink of choice is brandy and peach tea. It was the same thing he was drinking the night I met him. You’re not the only one he’s pulled off the streets and given a better life.”
“He’s a good man,” the bartender told me, “Stick around with him. He’ll make sure you’re taken care of. But trust me, Francisco. You don’t ever want to betray him. I’ve seen what happens when that kind of shit goes down. It’s not a pretty result. But on a less fatal note, can I let you in on a little secret?”
“Please,” I insisted, “Be my guest.”
“If Gregorio didn’t see something special in you,” he kept his voice down, sliding the envelope across the bar, “You wouldn’t be here right now. Don’t squander what you got.”
“I didn’t plan on it…” I liked this guy. He was alright. I took the envelope off the bar and felt it a bit with the utmost discretion, “Since I told you mine, would you tell me yours?”
“Sure,” he gave me a nod, “It’s Ricky. When you get back to the Narrows, tell Gregorio that Ophelia still has those legs for days.”
“Ophelia?” I wondered, assuming it was some kind of code, but I didn’t know what it was. I’ve never heard the Old Man talk about anyone named Ophelia before.
“My wife,” Ricky chuckled to himself, “He was never the type to go domestic, but there was a young lady that we had a class with that had her eyes on both of us. And she knew Gregorio wasn’t the domestic type, so she went with me. And he’s been kicking himself in the ass every day since then. I like to rub that in his face every once in a while.”
“And what if the Old Man hands my ass to me for that?” I got nervous.
“He won’t,” he swore, “He’ll get a cheap laugh out of it if anything. It was a pleasure meeting you, Francisco. Truly.”
“It’s actually Frankie,” I corrected him, “That’s what everyone else calls me. Except my mother.”
“Alright,” Ricky let me go, “Hopefully, this won’t be the last time we see each other.”
“Likewise,” I finished off my drink and took off with the envelope. But before I left, I needed to get my boys, “Oi…Pendejos…Vamanos.”
“We’re leaving already?” Tony asked, both him and César drenched in sweat. Oh, Jesus…What did they do?
“Yeah,” I nodded toward the door, “Ahora.”
“Ok,” César, the one that I thought was going to be like pulling teeth to get out of here, was awfully quick on his feet. I’m not sure what transpired while I was in the back, but I feel like it’s better that I don’t ask.
“And Todd,” I gave the big guy a pat on the shoulder, “Pleasure meeting you, man.”
“You, too, sir,” Todd sent us off. It’s good to be the Old Man some days. I liked it. Maybe if I get lucky, I’ll take his spot one day. He did say he wanted me to succeed him. I could get used to it.
Once that night air hit my face, everything was right in the world again. I peeked in the envelope and did a quick count of the money. Every last cent was there. Good man, Ricky. Good man. But then came the hard part, “Alright. What happened?”
“Nothing,” Tony kept his mouth shut, “Everything was fine.”
Which was how I knew he was lying. Or hiding something from me. Thankfully, I had César, who would occasionally lack a verbal filter. Not nearly as bad as Tony, but enough, “Tony wanted to take one of the girls home with him.”
“Goddammit, Tony,” I hung my head, “I ask you to do one thing. I take you along for one reason.”
“Don’t goddammit, Tony me,” Tony got defensive, “I did not!”
“He struck out big time,” César laughed, “It was probably worse than watching you try to flirt with Vanessa the first time you two met, Frankie. It was beyond a crash and burn. That was the Hindenburg.”
“See if I take you back here,” I rolled my eyes, “On the bright side, I think I might have my own spot on the list here. Me, not the Old Man. I mean, the Old Man’s got one, too, but because the bartender knows him and knows him well. He’s a good guy, too.”
“He knew you weren’t the Old Man?” César gasped, “Frankie! And I thought I had to keep Tony from getting bitch slapped by a stripper. You could’ve gotten yourself killed!”
“But he knew the Old Man,” I explained, “Don’t worry. I knew what I was doing. I had this.”
“And what if you didn’t?” César snapped, “What if the guy was testing you? What if he was calling your bluff and you just fucking folded? I don’t ever want to have to make that phone call to Mama…”
“César…” I knew where he was coming from. It’s what I’ve been doing for those two for years. But César was different. Tony was lucky his head was attached more often than not, but César knew he wouldn’t have to worry about me. That wasn’t going to stop him from worrying, “I told you. I had this. And if I didn’t, I knew I’d have you and Tony watching my back. All I’d have to do is say the word and I knew damn well you both would come running. I know you want to make sure I’m ok. And fuck, I love you for that. But I can handle shit, too.”
“If you ever do something so fucking stupid again,” César threw an arm around me, his demeanor a little lighter, “Don’t ever do it alone.”
“Of course not,” I laughed it off, “I’m stupid, not suicidal.”
“Bueno…” he mumbled to himself, “So? Where to now?”
“Back to the Narrows, as far as I know,” I decided, “Unless you wanted to actually grab a drink. But something tells me that even though the Old Man has told us to skim off the top from time to time, tonight isn’t one of those jobs. He’d probably kick all our asses for something like that. He told me tonight was the biggest score I’ve ever had.”
“You’re not wrong,” Tony knew that as well as I did. Usually, when the Old Man had big collections, he’d tell me to get my brothers. They knew when I was working a big job. And Tony’s beautiful mind could keep track of that shit like nobody’s business.
“So,” I thought it through, “You two come back with me to the Narrows, we’ll have a drink there, then we go home? Sound like a plan?”
“That does sound like a plan,” César agreed, his nerves a little shot tonight. He could use the liquid hospitality.
I don’t know why the Old Man would’ve been so nervous about us visiting a part of our own territory just because it was on the outskirts. Regardless, the boys and I headed back toward the Narrows and made ourselves at home in the bar. This place already was my second home. Even more so today than any other day. I wasn’t complaining. I liked this little bar. I didn’t drink publicly much, but when I did, it didn’t hurt to be somewhere familiar. I left my brothers at the bar and headed to the Old Man’s office.
“Old Man?” I poked my head in the door, “You alive?”
“Pretty alive,” the Old Man let me in, “How’d it go, Frankie?”
“Pretty good,” I threw the envelope on his desk, “I got the money. I got out of there with my life and my brothers intact. I can call that one a win.”
“That’s the attitude to have in this business, kid,” he applauded me.
“Oh,” I remembered, “And by the way, the guy that gave me the money told me to give you a message.”
“Did he?” the Old Man wondered, looking at me strange, “And what’s that?”
“That…” I had to get this right or it’d probably just sound like nothing, “Ophelia still has those legs for days?”
“That son of a bitch!” he snapped, only to laugh his ass off in the next breath, “You met Ricky tonight, didn’t you? Damn, I was hoping he was the one behind the bar.”
“Yeah,” I nodded, a wave of relief washing over me, “Why?”
“He’s a good man,” the Old Man explained, “You kind of reminded me of Ricky. Damn good head on his shoulders, but life doesn’t give him the best hand. You know? How’d he know you were there for me? Did you tell him?”
“I, uh…” I twiddled my thumbs, “I was walking into foreign territory, Old Man…So, I kind of…Told the bouncer that…”
“You were me,” he figured, “Alright. I understand, Frankie. You were right to do that. And that explains how Ricky knew you were there for me. But you do know that one day, your own name’s going to have that kind of power, too, right?”
“I hope so,” I winced, “But today’s not that day.”
“Soon enough,” the Old Man threw the envelope, “There. That’s yours.”
I froze completely, “You going senile on me already?”
“I’m not senile,” he rolled his eyes, “I’m serious. Look, Frankie, you got shit to take care of. I don’t need the money. I’m not near hurting. Your little aristocratic princess deserves a nice fucking engagement ring. You go get her something nice and head home for the day. You’ve done your bit for god and country. Besides, if I give you tonight’s collection, then, I don’t have to pay you for working the bar.”
“Hell of a tip, Old Man,” I still couldn’t believe he was doing this. But at the same time, I could. It’s the Old Man. To hear Ricky talk about him only solidified his ranking in my mind, “Thank you. I will.”
“And if you want,” the Old Man kicked back at his desk, “Throw a few bucks to your brothers. They work hard, too. I’m sure they kept a close eye on you.”
“My brother bitched at me,” I told him, “And they kept the bouncer off my ass, but…Ok. So, we do a three-way split?”
“They don’t know how much I’m giving you,” he gave me a nod, “You split it however you feel. You’re the one that’s going to be paying them one day anyway. Might as well start now.”
“What do you mean…?”
“I would’ve thought you’d bring your brothers on with you when you take over,” the Old Man sighed out, “Guess I was wrong. I mean, if it were me, I’d want the people I could trust most close to me. That’s what I got you for. I’d trust you with my life. But you know…That’s just me. Now, I want you to take your cut and get something nice for Vanessa. She’s a good girl and deserves it.”
“Thank you, Old Man,” I did my best to not start crying right then and there, “Really…For everything.”
“Don’t worry about it,” he sent me out, “Good luck, kid.”
“Thanks…” Because I don’t know how I’m going to do it or when, but dammit, I’m going to propose to Vanessa. Eventually. And the Old Man’s right. She does deserve something nice.
I grabbed my brothers, dropped ten grand in their hands (with intentions of paying them with whatever’s left over after I get Vanessa’s ring), and the three of us headed home. Tonight’s been a night. And the thought of crawling into bed was awfully tempting. Yet, I had a little something still left in me. Maybe I could find Abuela’s food truck before she closes up for the night. Before the club crowds start damn near shaking her down. But when we got back to our building, there was a perfect package on our front steps.
“Excuse me, sweetheart,” I took her hands and pulled her onto her feet, “I don’t think you live in these parts.”
“My boyfriend does, though,” Vanessa stole a quick kiss, “Hi, baby.”
“Hi,” I melted inside. Damn, this girl’s got a hold on me. She always did.
“Hi, guys,” she smiled.
“Hey, Vanessa,” César gave her a little smile back. He and I had a brief moment of mental telepathy and César, God bless him, dragged Tony inside.
“So,” I wondered, “What do you think about going to the Downtown tonight? Rumor has it, they have some killer coconut cream pie.”
“I’d love to,” Vanessa put my arm around her. I love when she does that.
“Are you sure this is ok?” I worried, holding her close, “I mean, I’m not kidnapping you again, am I?”
“Nope,” she kissed my cheek, “Come on. I’ve been thinking about that pie all day and if I don’t get it in the next ten seconds, I’m cutting a bitch.”
That’s my girl, “It’ll be a few minutes in the cab, though, Vanessa.”
“Fine,” Vanessa let it slide, “Then, we have a few minutes and ten seconds to get me some fucking pie.”
“I love you…” Hard to believe I’m already thinking about marrying her.
“I love you, too, but pie, Frankie…I want pie…”
“Alright then,” I got us a cab, “Then, let’s get some pie.”
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wearethedescendants-a · 5 years ago
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Advice from a Seasoned Multimuse Blog
So I’ve been noticing this trend now for a while and thought I’d give a little advice. I’ve been a multimuse blog (with way to many muses lets be honest) for over a year now and these are some things I’ve learned along the way that particularly apply to a blog with more than like 5 muses:
GOLDEN RULE RIGHT HERE! Use your Queue! It’s the best resource for a multimuse blog. A queue used correctly means you can handle way more threads without getting overwhelmed or overwhelming your partners. 
Never set your queue to higher then 15 a day, and that’s only if your queues at like 250. Set it around five or ten a day. This will help prevent your partners from getting overwhelmed as well. If you're going on hiatus or leaving for a week or two, drop the count. It helps everyone in the end
Purge them. If you have over twenty drafts with the same person, then start new ones. Don’t feel bad about dropping. We are here to have fun! 
Really feeling a muse, rapid post those threads and let your partners know that they are really awake! We all have those times when this one muse is the only one awake and wants all the things. 
Really feeling a thread? Rapid post that as well! 
Don’t spend all of your time in the draft box! Its fun to remain active with your activity and have those nights where those few threads just come alive! 
Be mindful that while you or your partner may be able to crank through things, the other may not. We all love getting threads back, but if the mun gets overwhelmed it can kill their desire to be on here.
Open communication! You want to add a face claim that another multi is using? Go right ahead! We don’t own Face Claims here, but give the other person a heads up. Ask, because they might actually be really insecure about you doing so, especially if its not a commonly used Face Claim like Dove Cameron or Matthew Daddario that they had to put a lot of time into making things for. Don’t blindside them! 
Want to get caught up on drafts and not get more back? Queue everything with the queue set at 1 or 2 a day until your back on top of things.
Want to add a new muse even though you have a crazy amount of drafts. Honestly? Do it! This is a place for creativity. Not feeling a muse? Drop them or put them on Hiatus. (I prefer hiatus because these fuckers honestly always come back.)
If your a multimuse blog and are liking a starter, give a few options to the other muse. It can get overwhelming to always choose or try to pick just one out of a lot of amazing options.
Multimuse writing with another Multimuse? Try not to favor just one or two of their muses. Spread out the love! You never know what new connections you’ll make. The more interaction and muses you have going, the bigger the world that you both can create becomes!
Canon Muses! Your friend writes as one and you want to write the same one? Go ahead! Again, we don’t own canon characters. Just be courteous and let them know that you're going to do it. Remember, your canon will be different from theirs because of the interactions they go through and headcanons you make for them. NO CANON MUSE PORTRAYAL IS BETTER THEN ANOTHER! They are all amazing because of these differences!
Want to add several muses in the same family or area (for example my recent spam of Norther Wei muses)? Give a few ones you think of away! I know that sounds crazy, but it means more interaction with family and friends for the one’s you keep. And the joy of pulling your rp partners down the rabbit hole with you!
If your partners appear to be more active with another mun then you, don’t let that get to you! 9x’s out of 10 they are just feeling that muse or verse more and simply have more threads with that person that involve that muse/verse.
Remember, we are all muffins here and shy and anxious and who knows what else. At the end of the day though? Our IM’s are always open for questions and concerns. I know for myself there are like ten ships I can think of that are alive now because I just said fuck it and asked! :D
Changing a long used Face Claim? Do it! But let people know, especially if you have a major ship with them. New faces out of the blue can throw people off. Just like your boyfriend shaving his beard or your girlfriend coming home with pink hair with no warning. 
If anyone is starting up a Multimuse blog or having issues staying on top of theirs and has questions, please don’t hesitate to ask me! If you want clarification of any kind for something here that I didn’t explain well, again, don’t hesitate to ask! I’m more than willing to give tips on how I handle mine and yes, even I get overwhelmed! :D
(This got way longer then I meant to. If I missed some advice that you think should be added, let me know!)
REMEMBER! WE ARE HERE TO HAVE FUN AND BE CREATIVE FLOWERS!
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sweetenedteeth · 2 years ago
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Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Gillian ref sheet < 3 my wine or cheese gorl
check out my pinned post for commission info
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fairyreaper22345 · 6 years ago
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@mdelpin here you go!!!
Rain hit the wooden roof of the guild hall like watery bullets, the sound echoing loudly around the room. The door creaked open, allowing access to a freezing gust of wind, and a soaked pair of sky mages.
Cana sighed, passing them both a hot cup of cocoa.
"Why do you two always go out during rainstorms? You're gonna catch a cold."
Wendy shivered and smiled. "It's so peaceful and refreshing, to just be at the will of nature like that. I love the smell of fresh rainfall."
Laughing at her girlfriend, Chelia took a large gulp, scalding her tongue. "Ouch!"
Cana snorted, Mirajane smiling softly behind her.
"That'll teach you to drink too quickly."
"Anyway," she started, patting her tongue, "Lyon bet me 12 jewel I couldn't get struck by lightning, and he's wrong. That's why I like going out in the rain, anyway."
Cana and Mira shared a confused look. 12 jewel wasn't even enough to buy candy. The cheapest thing that you could get in Magnolia was 100J, and that was a stamp. Was it really worth being in a rainstorm for such a pitiful amount of money?
A whip of cloaks and jackets, and Laxus Dreyar stood tall behind the pink-haired lesbian, his devoted boyfriend clinging onto him, as always.
"I'll do it."
"Eh?" Chelia asked, confused.
"I'll hit you with lightning, kid."
"Nah. Not necessary."
Mirajane looked down at her, in her own motherly way. "You know you're not going to get struck by lightning by wandering around in the rain?"
Freed murmured something indiscernible, about being 'lovestruck by lightning.'
Wendy piped up, confused. "But it happens to Natsu-san all the time."
Snorting, Laxus smirked, "I strike Natsu."
"It's decided then! You strike me."
"Wait, Laxus-san! Please be gentle on her! She's not strong enough to withstand your full force!"
Blue eyes met green, and both Laxus and Freed sighed.
"She's right, Laxus," smiled Freed, staring up at his 6'3" husband. "No-one's strong enough."
Cana gritted her teeth. "Bullshit!"
"Cana!" scolded Mira. "Language! There are children!"
Laxus grinned malevolently down at Chelia. "And how much of the cash do I get?"
Clutching Laxus's sleeve, Freed mentioned, "I don't think-"
"I don't work for free."
Chelia crossed her arms, her wet rose hair sticking to her pale face.
"80-20."
Laxus's eyes hardened. "50-50. I'm doing the work here."
"It's hardly work for you. 70-30, that's my final offer."
Mirajane reached over to hold Chelia's hand. "How about 2:1? That seems fair."
Freed interrupted, before Laxus got the chance to argue, "He'll take it."
"Baby-" the blonde started.
"Come on, Laxus... We'll discuss basic mathematics."
Cana smirked at her wife. It always made her day when Freed had to teach Laxus elementary information. Just the other day he had to explain how to use a ruler.
Chelia leaned over, pulling Wendy close to her, whispering in her ear. "I've got a cunning plan, that'll surely fool both Laxus and Lyon!"
"Huh?"
"Natsu will dress as me!"
Two hours later, Natsu sat on the floor, back against a chair, legs splayed wide. The small room's door was locked, but they couldn't be certain Lyon wasn't standing outside of it, listening in.
"So how much do I get, Chelia?"
Chelia paused for a second, feigning thought.
"Well, I'll get 8, and Laxus-san will get 4. You can have the rest."
Natsu thought hard, his hair being pulled into messy pink pigtails. He seemed to sweat from thinking about addition.
"Seems fair to me."
Noticing a flaw in the maths, Wendy began, "Wait-"
"Shh!"
Wendy, uncomfortable with the deception, nodded.
"There! All done! You look beautiful, Natsu. Practically Miss Fairy Tail worthy."
Natsu grinned that childish, adorable grin, that spread hope wherever it shone. She almost felt guilty to be mean to that smile.
Almost.
"Alright, Natsu-san. Hold my hand. Hopefully Laxus-san will fall for it..."
Wendy wasn't hopeful.
Laxus took a look up from the SAT paper he was going through when he heard Chelia!Natsu's footsteps.
"Hm," he pondered. "Chelia got buff."
Freed stared at him, in love. "You're so pretty."
"Hey, that dress is a little small for her. Has she cut her hair?"
"You can put my hair in pigtails, if you want..."
Wendy held Natsu's hand - which was far bigger than she was used to - and smiled up at him. Laxus had fallen for it. Somehow.
The guild seemed... oddly quiet. The usual fights raged, and beer spilled, and Elfman screamed 'man,' but it was quieter than before.
Wendy realised suddenly, with a gasp, "the rain's stopped!"
"Shit!" cried Natsu.
"Natsu-san!" she hissed.
"Oh, right." He put on a falsetto. "Shit!"
Wendy couldn't help but be disappointed.
"Juvia!" he yelled, still doing that ridiculous high-pitched voice. "We need rain!"
Wendy clasped Juvia's hands close to her chest, giving her wide, puppy-dog eyes and her trademark happy look. "Pretty pretty please with whipped cream and glitter?"
Gray sighed. He didn't want to be rude, not to Juvia, but desperate times called for desperate measures.
"I don't like you, Juvia."
And the rain came bucketing down.
Wendy looked at him, heartbroken. "That was either really mean or really sweet."
Gray shrugged. "Eh. I just want to see Natsu get hit by lightning." He smirked. "Especially dressed in drag."
Lucy buried her head in her hands.
Running to the heavy oaken doors, Natsu threw them open with a laugh, revelling in the torrential downpour.
Laxus took that as his queue.
Rubbing his hands together, he snarled, "That shredded fucker Chelia is going to get absolutely destroyed."
Freed finished marking the paper Laxus had been working on, giving him extra points for putting his name in the right box - it was an improvement since last time.
"Oh, good God," he hummed. "You're so hot when you're being a dumbass. Fuck him up."
There was a cataclysmic roar, followed by a scream, and the air crackled with electricity.
"You didn't need to use Thunder Dragon's Roar, Laxus."
Laxus blushed, sheepishly ruffling his hair. "Sorry, doll. I didn't mean to go that overboard."
"Yes you did."
"Yes I did."
Freed swooned. Tearing his trousers off - a habit he'd acquired by associating with Mr. Gray Fullbuster - he yelled, "Take me. Now."
Jicchan sighed in the back, sipping a tankard of beer. Same shit as always. Never a dull day in Fairy Tail, huh.
Natsu had been passed out in the infirmary for four days now. It was funny at first, but Lucy was starting to get concerned.
The doors crunched open, and a tall, female silhouette stood inbetween them.
"What on Earth is going on?"
Wendy flushed. "I - uh, let me explain, Erza-san-"
Lucy sighed. "You're never allowed to go on a solo mission again. You must take at least one of the idiots," she added, gesturing to a naked Gray.
A week later, and Natsu had finally woken up. His hair still hadn't gone back to normal, but one step of treatment at a time. Erza grasped a job request in one hand, glaring around the guild hall. Pointing at it, she ordered, "Gray, Laxus, you're with me. Lucy, Levy, Freed, you hold fort here. And Natsu..." She faltered, seeing his statically charged hair and singed smile. "Don't do anything dumb. For once."
That evening, Gray lay on the table, inhaling food. "Lyon, you did realise that wasn't actually Chelia getting hit by lightning, right?"
Lyon smiled mischievously. "'Course. But it was funny, I couldn't not pay her."
Laxus, naturally, was still in denial (over thinking Natsu was Chelia, of course, but also over his abysmal score on the SAT). "So let me get this straight. I hit Natsu instead?"
Lyon didn't know what to say, dumbfounded by his stupidity. "Dude."
Freed interjected, throwing his clothes across the hall, his jacket getting stuck on one of the ceiling's support beams.
"You're so fucking stupid."
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nullwork · 5 years ago
Note
1-45 fucker.
on god i shouldve deleted this from my queue when i had the chance
1-5 answered
6. Are you single this year?
no
7. Can you commit to one person?
yes.
8. Describe your crush.
big dumbass bee hater who thinks hes cool and im going to kill him
9. Describe your perfect mate.
what is this. is this warrior cats? warrior cats roblox rp circa 2014? mate. hahahahahah holy shit. tbh just someone i find attractive and doesnt annoy me and im heart eyes
10. Do you believe in love at first sight?
absolutely not yall just got the hots for strangers
11. Do you ever want to get married?
yes but it must exactly match pewdiepies wedding aesthetic.
12. Do you forgive betrayal?
no. next question.
13. answered
14. Do you have a crush on anyone?
yes.
15. Do you have any piercings?
just earrings 😔
16. Do you have any tattoos?
no but I Would Like Some
17. answered. i think
18 + 19 ahahahah theres no 18 or 19
20. Do you shower every day?
like every other day but im tryna not turn my hair pink lately
21. Do you think someone has feelings for you?
by god i sure hope so
22. Do you think someone is thinking of you right now?
probably
23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?
yes this is literally so easy to do
24. answered
25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year?
I literally am
26. Has anyone ever told you they don't want to lose you?
yes. then he tried to gaslight me.
27. Has anyone ever written a song or poem for you?
ghghghghggg my first boyfriend wrote a poem for me where he called me satan or smth
28. Have you ever been cheated on?
yeah 😔
29. answered
30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what have you wanted to change about your body?
im a tranny of course i have. top surgery. now who's the bottom, bitches.
31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?
yknow i have we wont get into that
32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love?
perhaps a tiny bit.
33. Have you ever had sex with a man?
no
34. Have you ever had sex with a woman?
yeah
35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?
yeah x2
36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends?
hmmm perhaps yes
37. answered
38. Have you ever liked someone you didn't expect to?
uhhh yes
39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn't have?
😳 does this qualify me for an emo discount if i say yeah
40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone?
yes
41. Have you had sex so far this year?
also yes
42. answered
43. How long was your longest relationship?
uhhhh about a year and then he missed his ex
44. How many boyfriend/girlfriends have you had?
like. 5. yeah 5 i think
45. How many people did you kiss in 2012/2013?
i was 12 years old the only thing i kissed was my Harry Potter figurine
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caroline18mars · 6 years ago
Text
A Man On Fire - Chapter 14
“I'm gonna get your seat completely soaked, sorry” her teeth were clapping as her frozen hands unsuccesfully tried to zip down her jacket, “It's not my car, so I couldn't care less, I'm more worried about you, we need to get you out of these wet clothes before you catch pneumonia or something, I thought you were gonna take a cab”. Whoaaa wait a minute floppy hair, don't put the blame on me now “thought I'd go for a walk instead, but then I got surprised by this tsunami” she breathed with her fingers to her mouth, trying to warm them up “but a dry spot and a hot coffee sounds really great right now”. Jared tried to keep his eyes on the road and turned up the heating to remedy the fogged up windows, one near-collision was enough for one day, “we should be downtown in 10 minutes”. Good, thanks for the ETA, bossman, enough time to sit back a bit and enjoy the sloshy noise the wheels were making on wet tarmac, somehow that was a happy sound, made her want to snuggle up in her seat and watch the world pass by. Finally someone he could have a comfortable silence with, she wasn't angry, accusations weren't flying, she just sat there, soaking wet and cold, but completely at ease, completely refreshing from all the drama queens he was surrouned with every day. “This place alright for you?” she heard him say as he parked the car in front of a coffeeshop, while she was looking in the vanity mirror, wiping the streaked make up from her face and her wet hair tied up in a bun, “looks fine' she quickly muffled the wet wipe in her bag, everything about her was wet right now. Oh, hello cute bubble butt, she'd never noticed until now walking behind him to the coffeeshop that was crowded with people all taking shelter from the pouring rain, “what would you like?” he caught her staring as he turned around. “Hmm, surprise me” she shook her head trying to avoid eyecontact, “ok..you go find us a table” he hummed, shit, floppy hair noticed her staring, but apparantly she wasn't the only one, because so was the rest of the coffeeshop, staring, whispering and then staring again as he walked up to the counter, oh there was a free table by the window, excellent. She quickly unzipped and shrugged off her drenched jacket and put it on her chair, before pushing her icy hands on the heating as she sat down, even though a little painful at first, it.felt.gooood to get her blood flowing again. “Caramel latte for you, hibiscus tea for me, that ok?” Jared put the cups on the table and sat down as well, “that's lovely, thank you” Harper smiled as she finally stopped the nervous plucking at her wet clothes. She looked so fresh, her skin so clear made her dark eyes stand out like glowing pieces of charcoal, distracting? Absolutely! “Harper..I..” he cleared his throat “I finally got the chance to thank you face to face for all that you've done, I mean you singlehandedly given us the solution we needed, I don't think we've actually discussed the financial side, well, you're on the payroll obviously, but I was thinking about a bonus for designing the lightshow”. Don't drool, Harper, try not to drool while floppy hair pulls out his phone, “how about” he quickly tapped something on his phone and then showed it to her, “this”. She blinked nervously looking at the calculator, 10,000, dollars? whoooaaa, wait, yeah ok, she was stunned by his offer but shouldn't she be bargaining with him right now? Pokerface and all that? “that..seems reasonable, yeah ok” paint, a zillion colours, new canvasses, brushes and she could put something aside for rainy days too, a hard day's work earned her more than the 500$ Joe had offered for a painting. He liked doing business with this woman, “ok, I'll make sure you have it in your account by the end of this week”.
”Excuse me, but could I have a picture?” a girl came walking up to their table, jittering with excitement, Harper pushed her chair back and stood up, “same?” she gestured at his empty cup, it was 'selfie with a rockstar-time' and the perfect time for her to escape his intense staring. Professional and discrete, Harper, I like it, and hello, nice butt, young lady, yeah you go ahead and walk real slowly to the counter, that butt was poetry in motion, oh selfie, right, ok, silly face, NEXT!. While waiting for the order, Harper pulled out her phone, floppy hair still taking selfies, good, time for her and Joe, ooohh yes new e-mail..ex..shes's amazing..very complicated..red flag, definitely red flag, he was still in love with his ex..fuccckkk!. “Hibiscus Tee und caramel latte?” the barista's voice brought her back to reality, “yes..uhm, danke”, had she read or interpreted this entire mail conversation wrong, or was he just blowing hot and cold on her all the time? He had practically begged her to let her guard down and when she did he just rammed..the truth down her throat..well, Harper sweetie, at least he's being honest about it. try not to stress, just read it again when you're alone and maybe you'll find a context..right, back to floppy hair and his incessant stream of female admirers. “You're welcome, I really need to go back to my conversation with my friend, ok?” Jared noticed her walking back to his table and took his privacy back from the line of fans that was forming, “is she your girlfriend?” some smartass in the queue decided to pop the million dollar question. “I'm not anyone's anything, I'm me and for Jared I'm his light designer” Harper judded her hip, staring at the girl with a smile, “oh” the girl stepped back a little intimidated. “Must be exhausting being you” Harper put the new cup of tea in front of him and sat down again, somehow she seemed more subdued, distracted even, “I'm not even gonna answer that” he grinned and sipped the hot tea “maybe you should have been so assertive with Shannon's new flavour of the month”. She leaned back with her warm cup of coffee between her hands and stared out of the window, yep definitely distracted “something wrong?” he tried to get her attention. “I don't know..yeah, no, everything's ok” liar, come on, he doesn't have to know, “don't worry about what she said, she's just some golddigger with a nose for dope..that's all she cares about, not exactly what I call the perfect company for my brother who's got a past with illegal substances”. Harper turned her head, this was interesting,  at least he wasn't as perfect as he looked “and you're worried she's gonna get your brother on the wrong track?” perfectly diverted attention from her own worries, Harper 1 – Jared 0!
From: HCDeRobiano
To: BJLCubbins
Subject: I don't know, but I'm confused
Joe,
You say you're a Coco-addict, but maybe you're as confused as I am and you meant that you were a Cocoa-addict, if that's what you meant, I would understand perfectly, you made a typo and your fingers skipped over the 'a' which is a shame because it's a beautifully curled letter.
I can just imagine the confusion on your face right now, don't worry it took me a while too to figure this out, because the other option is just too confusing, like your ex being called Coco as well or what? and from what I've read I can't tell if she's really your ex..
Regards from another Cocoa-addict, (in the chocolate sense of the word, by lack of an ex with benefits like yours).
Coco
Harper's fingers flew over the screen, sent, done, the phone flew on the bed and she sat down next to it, get out of these damp clothes, and go take a nice, long bath, cook those negative thoughts out of your brain, switch this annoying fucker off and try to get back to yourself after all that coffee and extensive talk with floppy hair, interesting talk though, there were no holds barred whatsoever, not even with such a delicate topic, she had gained Bossman's trust, for sure, or maybe he was just a compulsive talker, off to bath you go, foam, bubbles, foam, foam and hot waterrrrr, hmmm.
Jared closed the door coming back in his room and leaned against it for a minute, oyyy, that was the best rainy afternoon he had spent in a very long time, sooo easy to talk to and genuinely interested, she didn't judge, she just listened..simple as that, who still did that in these times of shallowness? Harper did..'Beep' his body jolted forward, Harper switched off, switch on Coco, hell yeah!. Huh? What?? ok read it again, what happened? Cocoa, Coco, chocolate? The fuck was she on about? He quickly scrolled to his last e-mail..'But yeah I still see her on occassions, you know..I guess you could say it's (very) complicated, and sweet and nice'..oookayyyy, yeah, the 'complicated' part was a bit too, well, complicated for her probably, she must have understood differently from what he meant by that, Cameron and him..they weren't an item anymore and they hadn't been for a long time, but yes on scarce occassions they did meet again and each time they did, it was beyond nice, like reliving a rosy memory of the couple they once were, they could talk to each other without holding any grudges these days..he had always hated how they had spent all these years apart being resentful of each other..she had a special place in his heart after 4 years of unbridled passion they had spent together and she always would but that was all. Now try and explain that to Coco..she didn't know all that, but she was the one who asked about the details..oh god, it was more than high time that they actually met so there were no moremisunderstandings..on the other hand, her being all stroppy about that meant that she cared, or maybe, just maybe, she cared a little bit more than she'd liked to admit right?
Harper let herself slide in the hot water, ohhh niceeee, all her muscles strained and then relaxed as the heat caressed them. Sighing she closed her eyes and before covering herself in bubbles, she turned up the bathroom stereo system and let the bass pound in her ears. Shayla stood there looking at her lover from the other side of the hallway, she couldn't stand being cooped all by herself in Köln, so she decided to pay her man a surprise visit, yeah you go inside that hotelroom baby, you will need to lie down to recover from the surprise I have for you, she giggled to herself as she followed him once he stepped inside, oh he had left the door open, no you weren't going anywhere anymore loverboy, tonight was just you and me! Sean couldn't handle the silence between him and Harper any longer, so what if he had snatched her second keycard to let himself in when he wanted to? Loud music thundered out to him, where was she? Jared was back already so she most probably was too, “Harper?” he shouted and then knocked on the closed bathroom door, no answer..his curiosity got the better of him and he slowly opened the door, “Harper?” he called again but when there was no answer he stepped inside slowly. Harper was nodding her head to the music but when it stopped abruptly, her eyes shot open in fright. A frightened pair of eyes met a couple of admiring ones “Sean! What?..” she was hardly able to speak as she tried to recover from the shock, what was he doing here in her bathroom, how did he even get in? Arrghhh she was naked! “I'm..I'm sorry..I just wanted to..check..I wanted to talk and..”, instead of backing away, he clumsily took a step forward to the tub which made her shoot up in shock. “What the hell? SEAN?” Shayla yelled as she stormed inside the bathroom seeing her lover and his so called best friend who was quickly trying to cover up her naked chest, “I knew it..I..I just can't..you and that..that SLUT!” and out she stormed again with Sean in hot pursuit after her, leaving Harper to sit there, completely speechless, what the hell just happened?
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finestfenwick · 6 years ago
Text
“I can’t believe they would’ve promoted some bitch over you. You seem fit, mate.” 
Benjy raises his eye brows and raises his shot in thanks before he downs it. The meeting the day before with O'Donnell and Scamander had gone as well as it could. O’Donnell had sent word to Benjy via a Niffler that had ransacked his cover apartment to meet him at the White Wyvern for drinks. Benjy was in edge at first, worried about running into friends or Merlin forbid, Cassiel Avery, but the Nifflers occupied a booth in the back corner and didn’t seem keen on talking to anyone except the casual working girl.
The ‘bitch’ in question was none other than Amelia Bones. That was one of the reasons behind his cover-he was pissed off that Amelia ranked higher than him.  It was laughable, really-anyone who knew anything about how the Aurory worked knew that Amelia had more than enough seniority to rank above him. It let Benjy know just how foolish the people he was dealing with were-and it was a type of foolishness that made them dangerous.
“I mean, I could’ve shagged my way to the top too but er, the boss is too beardy for my taste.” 
This causes a round of laughter from O’Donnell, Stuart and the man introduced to Benjy as simply ‘Nim’. The name would’ve been laughable save for the fact that the man’s biceps where bigger than Benjy’s thighs and his skin was absolutely littered in tattoos-including a familiar one of a snake eating a skull.
Gaining their trust was proving to be easy. Maybe too easy. Benjy was still being cautious, but it was getting harder and harder with every shot he took. It was scary, in a way, how easily he fit in with men like this. A wrong turn here, a point lower on his auror entrance exam here-this false identity could very easily be Benjy’s reality.
He was suddenly very, very glad he wasn’t.
“Anyhow-” He continues, instantly gaining his party’s full attention again. “-I finally called them on their bullshit after they gave her yet another case she wasn’t nearly smart enough to solve-I sort of knew who’d done it anyhow, I’d considered getting into it with him like I am now with you lot, but he wasn’t any good-”
“Was it Avery?” Stuart cuts in. Benjy has never met someone who better personifies the word ‘Beady’ before. “-that fucker’s scary.”
Benjy nods offhandedly. “Can’t really say, but I’d er-prefer not to get mixed up with him if I could avoid it.”
O’Donnell snorts. “Lookit you, talking all proper and shit still. You might fit in better with Avery with words like that, mate. He thinks he’s too good for us. Too busy shagging that one bitch anyhow-whatshername?”
“Zazzi.” Stuart supplies. Nim nods. 
“Yeah. It’s either that bitch or whoever’ll pay him more.”
Benjy snorts. “You familiar with his rates, then? Intimately so?”
The other two howl with laughter but O’Donnell glares at him.
“Watch yourself.”
Benjy holds up his hands in mock surrender, but makes a mental note. Avery and ‘Zazzi’ are not involved, not heavily at least. That doesn’t really tell him too much-though both of them had rumors of ties to the DE they’d never be as obvious as dear old Nim. All it let Benjy know is that another criminal he was aware of didn’t have ties with this organization-and that was probably better for him, given how his ties to Avery were not all strictly business related. He pushes the memory of Cleona finding the baggie in his medicine cabinet out of his mind.
“I kid, I kid. But yeah, it was a case that I knew I could solve, and they didn’t give it to me because they’re more concerned about looking good. I’d about had it then. I tried to keep it civil at first but pretty soon we were screaming at each other. The pussy they gave me for a partner held me back from hexing the stupid bitch, but fucking Crouch broke it up pretty fast after that. Put me on ‘indefinite leave.’” Benjy scoffs. They’d done it all, just as he’d said, with Amelia wishing him luck again under her breath as Crouch and Moody and Kingsley had dragged him off. They had to make as much of this real as they could.
“Which you know, is just horseshit. They can’t fire me because ‘Ex-Qudditch Hero leaves Auror Force in shame’ doesn’t sound good at the moment, but now-” Benjy raises his glass, which magically filled when he’d finished the last shot.
“They’re gonna regret everything.”
~~ 
Several shots later, Benjy is fuzzy. He hadn’t been this drunk since his birthday-which really, wasn’t so long ago. Absentmindedly, he brushes his hand through his hair to touch the back of the diamond stud in his ear. Her diamond stud.
Cleona.
He ached to think of her-how angry and hurt she must be. It’d been about a week now-she had to know. The octopus in his pocket pressed up against his leg, as if one queue, warms. She knew he was thinking about her, that he was missing her, and it seemed that at least to some level, that sentiment was returned.
I love you. I’m sorry
He’s so engrossed in thinking-thinking properly if that were even a thing when it came to whatever it was that his girlfriend could do, that he doesn’t realize he was being spoken to until Nim slaps his knee. Hard.
“Sorry?”
“You like what you see?” O’Donnell leers, nodding his head towards one of the sex workers lingering nearby. She had dyed red hair that slightly resembled that of Lily, the new receptionist in the office and for one wild second, Benjy thought it might be her-as if Crouch or Moody would put a civilian undercover just to get him a message. But closer inspection reveals this woman is a little older-and harder. More than likely she’d seen some shit. 
“She’s fit, yeah.” Benjy says non nonchalantly, sipping on the beer he’d barely touched all night. 
“You want her? You’ve got her.”
Shit. Shit shit shit shit. Normally-well not normally, before Cleona, he wouldn’t have thought twice about something like this, anything to maintain the cover. Benjy realizes right then that he never should’ve been allowed to go undercover. He had a weakness now, and her name was tattooed on his fucking hip. 
“Nah, mate, thanks. But uh-I can’t afford her.” O’Donnell just waves his hand dismissively.
“Think of it was a welcome present. Me and the lads got other business to attend to anyway. I like your style, Fenwick. You’ll be hearing from me shortly.” He winks at Benjy before shouting across the bar.
“Beatrix! Commere.” 
She pulls herself away from the group and bounds over. She would’ve been his type a few years ago, even with the edge her profession had given her-but Benjy didn’t have a type so much as a person now, and the thought of betraying her-He can feel his heart beat pick up in his chest.
“Can I help you, love?” She purrs, eyeing all of them with false interest. Her green eyes sweep the four of them. O’Donnell hands her a little bag of gold.
“This is Benjy. Get to know him, on me.” 
As the other three get up to leave, Beatrix grabs Benjy’s wrist and pulls him out of the booth.
“You ready to have fun, love?”
“Um-”
Her lips are on his before Benjy can stop her, and instinctively he kisses her back, following her lead out into the alley, the kisses getting sloppier and sloppier as they stumble out the door. It’s far too wet and Benjy’s pretty sure she licks his cheek at one point. Not exactly a turn on-not that he wanted one anyway.
“Well, he paid for the works so-”
Beatrix is on her knees now, and Benjy stiffens when her hands find his zipper. She looks up at him, confused, groping his barely there erection through the jeans under his robes.
“What’s the matter? Need a little help?”
“Uh, no, not quite-”
Benjy tries to smile, but now Beatrix is getting handsy. He leaps back away from her as if she had shocked him. This has to stop.
“What the hell? What’s wrong with you?”
“I’m gay.”
It slips out before he can stop himself and Beatrix cocks her head to the side to look up at him. 
“Really?”
“...yeah. But I-I’d apperciate it if you know, you didn’t uhm, make it known to O’Donnell-”
She brushes him off, gesturing with her hands to help her up. Benjy does, making sure she’s steady on her high heels before letting go.
“I already got paid-more than I was expecting tonight at that-I’m going home to the bath, who or what you do or don’t do is your business, love.”
She pats him once on the cheek.
“Too bad though-we could’ve had some fun.”
Beatrix gives him a smile before turning to disappear on the spot. Benjy all but collapses against the building. The familiar loathing creeps up, as it often does when he doesn’t do something the way he’s supposed to, but the relief, the knowledge that he didn’t do anything undo-able, is far greater. A quick glance around the alley reveals him to be alone and Benjy decides to risk it. He pulls the Octopus-Hugo-out of his pocket and smiles at it softly. He wants to cry but he can’t let himself get there-he can’t miss her too much, or he’d be utterly useless. 
Benjy runs a finger down the back of the creature, and he’s so enraptured by the warmth he receives back a few seconds later that he fails to notice Nim, lurking near the entry to the bar, watching him carefully.
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feuillesmortes · 7 years ago
Text
Academic life got in the way of this fic, but here we are! This chapter happens just one day after Henry and Lizzie’s day trip to Richmond. I’m tagging my mates @harritudur and @queenbessofyork, who have been incredibly supportive of this fic. 
As always, you can also read it on Ao3.
Henry, London Borough of Camden, 2:04 p.m.
One could think of few things better than spending a bank holiday in North London. The sun was out, the birds were singing. The sound of the rustling leaves coming from the Heath was carried along by a gentle breeze sweeping down on Hampstead Village. That posh neighbourhood, known as the new frog valley of London, where french pâtisseries and crêperies endowed the air with the richest of flavours, was home to François de Bretagne.
In one of the large Edwardian houses that populated the neighbourhood, Henry Tudor attended his boss’s garden party garbed with his best bottom-up and armed with a politely trained smile on his face. It was a great chance to properly catch up with his co-workers and improve his networking skills. Except Henry would rather be anywhere else. Well, not really anywhere else. Certainly not with anyone. He had a very specific person on his mind. 
For what felt like the hundredth time, he unlocked his mobile screen to look at her text:
Can we meet today at 7? Spoons would be nice x
Just ten simple words. Not unlike with everything else in his life, Henry found himself overanalysing that line of text. She had ended it with a single ‘x’ instead of a double… Not the most affectionate way to end a text, one could say. Their goodbye the previous day had been awkward enough, yes, but she hadn’t shied away from his embrace. Granted, when walking Lizzie to her flat she had hurried inside the building maybe a bit too fast.
But her invite to the local Wetherspoons was a good sign, wasn’t it? A familiar feeling gnawing at his insides, Henry started to think he might have miscalculated his move. Maybe he should have given her more time… He instinctively touched the pocket where he kept the gift he had bought her ages ago: a gold necklace, paired with a rose pendant. He had bought it as a Christmas present, only at the time he hadn’t had the guts to give her.
“Tudor, are you coming or not? We’ll be running out of gravy soon.”
“Yeah, bruv! Just grab your plate and get in the bloody queue!”
Henry looked up to find his co-workers Ed and Tom waiting for him, both mildly annoyed at his delay. “Alright, alright. I’m coming.”
His colleagues were right to worry about the gravy, though; the queue for the buffet table was incredibly long. It looked like everyone who worked for the company had been invited to the party. The majority of the employees were EU nationals, but Henry’s fellow Brits were increasing numbers every day.
“Oh shit, is that Jane from HR?” Tom exclaimed suddenly. “I’ve gotta go talk to her. Hold my place for a sec, will you?”
A cocktail cooling in hand, Henry watched Tom approach the HR girl with the characteristic sleazy smile he put on whenever he tried to chat up a girl. Thomas Grey, simply known around the office as Tom, looked just like a generic Tom was supposed to look. Small round eyes, rosy face, neither tall nor short. Every Brit knew at least one generic Tom.
“Doesn’t he have a girlfriend or something?” Henry turned to ask his other colleague, Edward Woodville. He bore the same last name as Lizzie’s mother, which sometimes made Henry wonder whether they were distantly related or if it was all just coincidence.
“Last time I checked, he had a fiancée.” Henry let out a small oh, taking a sip from his glass. Ed simply shrugged. “You know how Tom is. Always… fooling around.” He turned his gaze to Henry. “What about you? What were you doing back there on your phone? Not bad news, I hope.”
“No, not bad news. Just… me being paranoid, I reckon.”
Ed nodded, turning to scan the rest of the party. “Do you… want to talk about it… maybe?”
“Nah, mate. I’m fine.” Henry looked down at his glass, shaking the ice cubes. The liquid quivered with circular vibrations. Some unspoken rules were just not simply broken.
“Cool.”
“Cool.” Henry repeated, as if those were not his worries they were just trying to discuss. Cool.
A comfortable silence settled over them, lasting no longer than Tom’s return. Looking triumphant, Tom got back just in time before the queue moved too far. “I did it! I got her number! See, I told you I would—”
“Well, well, well! Who do we have here?”
They spun around to find Pierre Laudais, François’ assistant. He sported a mocking smile and an awfully tacky tie as he usually did. He wasn’t particularly popular among the employees, not even the EU nationals working for the firm. As the second in command, Laudais was merely tolerated. Henry let out a deep sigh, bracing himself. Here we go.
“And do my eyes deceive me or it is Henry Tudor, the absolute ledge!” The Frenchman laughed, patting his shoulder. “Isn’t it how you lads say it? Absolute ledge?”
Don’t murder stare. Don’t murder stare. You’ve got this. Don’t murder stare. Don’t murder st—
His colleagues shook their heads, barely concealing their contempt.
“It’s not… It’s not really…”
“It’s not how we say it.”
Laudais was thoroughly amused, though. “Why not? This guy— this guy here, I’m telling you. This guy right here is a legend. The best intern we ever had. Go ask François. N’est-ce pas, Tudor?” Laudais spoke his last name with a strong accent dripping with sarcasm. It all clearly meant: aren’t you a proper boss’s pet?
Henry squinted his eyes at him, fake smiling. “Thank you, Laudais. I only try my very best. But clearly, you already know that for sure.” Just the previous month, Henry had checked a couple of funny reports, counts not matching the system. The error couldn’t be tracked at the time, but Henry had a feeling Laudais hadn’t been much happier since then.
Laudais simply blinked at him for some seconds before turning to his co-workers. “Well, forgive me for trying to blend in with you, heh. You know, after Brexit one does fear about losing his job. No one is safe! Who knows who could be next!” He raised his glass of champagne as a way of goodbye and gave them an ugly smirk, a motion that rendered his face even more punchable. He left them to go straight to the casserole dish stand, jumping the queue and receiving some silent head shakes along the way.
“Connard.” Henry muttered under his breath, gulping down the rest of his cocktail. He could assign a long list of names to that bastard. It was a special pastime of his to get colourful with his french insults: enfoiré, abruti, crevard, quickly turning into trou du cul, face de rat, sac à vin, crétin des Alpes, ironie de la création… It was truly a great pity he could not voice his thoughts with so many French speakers around.
His co-workers beside him, though, were not so subtle.
“Dickhead.”
“Fucking wanker.”
Henry served himself a couple of golden yorkshire puddings, a recent favourite of his. “Don’t mind him. Laudais is just trying to scare me. Honestly, I couldn’t be arsed to care.”
“But maybe you should,” Ed said, stuffing his plate with roasted vegetables. “Aren’t you graduating in a few month’s time?”
“Hopefully yes.”
“It’d be nice to have a job then, don’t you think?”
Henry fell silent at that. It would be nice to have a job. That was something he had to remind himself every time frustration got the better of him, like a mantra. It would be nice to have a job.
The hours dragged, the minutes stretched. Taking rounds around the garden to chitchat with his colleagues was like a personal nightmare come alive. The weather! Where would they all be if not for that particular topic of conversation? Switch to French. Switch to English. Switch to French again. François’ relatives were there too, which meant of course even more fake smiling, fake listening, enthusiastically nodding your head and feigning interest in the most tedious things. The number of times he had to say “how do you do?” that day just couldn’t be measured.
Henry would check his watch every now and then. Shit, only five minutes since last time. It was at that rather depressing moment that Tom pulled out a cigarette pack. “Time for a break. Are you coming, Tudor?”
Ed didn’t smoke, though he would sometimes join them during coffee break. Every time, though, he would complain the smoke followed him around. Henry himself as he was trying to quit gradually stopped joining Tom for a drag.
Henry looked at the pack Tom was shaking in his hand. They were L&B, a popular brand, but too chavvy for Henry’s taste. He forcefully willed himself to look away. “No, thank you. I’ve quit.” He rubbed the nicotine patch beneath his shirt, placed just above his elbow. He knew the day would be stressful enough, so he had to come prepared.
“What, Tudor! Seriously?“
Ed congratulated him by clapping. “That’s the spirit. Good for you, Tudor. ”
“Come on, mate! One fag is not gonna kill you.”
Tom extended a cigarette to Henry, nimbly holding it between his fingers, but Henry turned it down. “I can’t. I promised I wouldn’t.” He had promised other things as well, like getting an appointment with his GP. As if Henry had enough time for that.
By now Tom was lighting up his cigarette. “So what now? You promised your mum you’d stop smoking, is that it? Nancy boy doesn’t want to disappoint his mum?”
“Not my mum, you blinking idiot.” It was impossible not to sound defensive. “I promised a friend.”
“A friend?”
“A girl…friend.”
“Oooh, a girlfriend. Ed, do you believe this fucker? He never tells us anything.”
Edward wriggled his eyebrows. “Is it that girl you fancy, Lizzie? Tom, he won’t say a thing but he’s mentioned her name several times.”
“Lizzie, eh?” Tom took a long drag and let it out in a silvery grey cloud. “Yes, I recall. Have you shagged her yet?”
Henry shot him a deadly, fulminating stare. “That’s none of your bloody business.”
Tom turned to Edward. “I take it as a no.”
Ed suppressed a laugh, but Henry wasn’t amused. "Why don’t you just fuck off, Tom?”
“Calm down, bruv.“ Tom raised his palms in self-defence. "I was just taking the piss. What else are friends for these days?”
Henry wouldn’t exactly call him a friend. Co-worker, associate, colleague, work fellow, ally, a little dot in his social network scheme, but certainly not friend. “I appreciate your interest in my love life. But rest assured, I know how to handle myself.”
Tom didn’t take the hint. "You’re really serious about that girl, eh?”
Henry’s best fake smile flashed through gritted teeth and squinted eyes. “Unlike some, I don’t fool around.”
Tom frowned quizzically, as if trying to decide whether that was a veiled insult or not. Thankfully François came calling before the air turned too foul. “Boys! Ed, Tom, Henri! We’re taking a group picture. Come, all of you!”
Henry had thought the party couldn’t get any worse.
__________________________________________
Lizzie, City of Westminster, 6:53 p.m.
A girl sitting by herself is always a sorry sight no matter the place, that much she had been told. Some lessons took longer to unlearn, so maybe that was why Lizzie was so restless in her seat: one minute fidgeting with the rings on her fingers, the next gripping the menu tight in her hands. It was her own fault, actually, to have chosen the local Wetherspoons to meet him. It was too familiar, too public a place to talk with him. Her anxiousness grew from a knot in her throat and spread to the tips of her toenails like a rope stretched too tight.
From her place at the table, Lizzie watched different groups of friends ordering their rounds. She tried to distract herself by inventing lives for each men. The short one with the funny hat was an architect, she decided. The loudest of them, she kept on musing, was actually the saddest, his hollering and chattering only a mask to hide his— No, it wasn’t working. Her rambling mind kept trailing back to her own doubts and worries. No, it was entirely her fault. She didn’t need to get there so early in advance. Henry was halfway across town and chances were he wouldn’t get to the pub in time.
She took another sip of her pint of cider, an overly sweet Strongbow Dark Fruit. Lizzie had never been one for drinking. She had always been too prim, too proper. A general distaste for beer and a lack of aptitude to handle hard liquor made it all too easy for her to rely solely on sugary booze. But regular cider was something a 16 year-old might pick when illegally drinking with her mates in the park. Lizzie, on the other hand, liked to think a Dark Fruit was a much classier option with its rich royal purple liquid gracing her taste buds.
She kept thinking of what Cecily had said during their last facetime session. Lizzie had volunteered to help her sister improve her grades— she vowed she could help her with anything, anything but maths. But Henry could help her with that, Lizzie reckoned. She knew he would if she asked him nicely enough. Cecily had been all too grateful for the help, but when confronted about her seeing a particular boy while still grounded, Cecily had plunged into a sullen mood.
“Whoever said I can’t see him?”
“Well, for one, mum said that.”
“Lizzie, have you thought that mum is not our boss? Do you let her rule your love life? Do you let her pick your boyfriends for you? No, I don’t think so. I’m sure you can think for yourself. So why should she have a say in who I date and who I don’t?”
That hit uncomfortably close to home. Lizzie looked down at her pint glass. She was on her second pint already. God, what was she thinking? She pushed it away while she still had a clear mind. She certainly wouldn’t like Henry to see her tipsy. It was at that moment that she saw a familiar face walking the place. Lizzie ducked her head, tried to hide her face behind the menu as she realised it was her ex-boyfriend Charles. It was a futile action though, for he had already seen her and was coming her way.
Lizzie let go of the menu, but kept her eyes focused on the ground, refusing to acknowledge him. Yet the feet planted in front of her table weren’t going anywhere, it seemed. Lizzie clutched the edge of the table and slowly raised her eyes.
“Chérie, I haven’t seen you in a long time.” His dark hair slicked to one side, a carefree smile dancing on his lips, and sporting a Paris Saint-German shirt, Charles took the chair opposite hers. “What are you doing here all by yourself?”
“I’m not by myself.” She managed to croak out. “I’m waiting for someone.” Her reply was brief, almost rude, but Lizzie had no intention to be polite with him. He surely hadn’t been considerate of her feelings when they were together.
Something like aggravation flickered in his face before he dismissed it with a scoff. “Waiting for someone? Like what, like a date?”
“Like— Well, I’m…” Was it a date? “It's— It’s Henry! I’m waiting for Henry.”
“Oh!” He chuckled, probably relieved. Lizzie couldn’t believe it had taken her so long to see how pretentious he looked with that smug smile of his. “Henry Tudor, isn’t it? We have some classes together. Your roommate.”
“He’s my former flatmate, as I’ve told you well before.” At the time of Henry’s moving out, Lizzie had repetitively whinged about it to Charles. Lizzie had always suspected he hadn’t listened to any of her grievances; now she had complete proof.
“Yes, yes, ma chérie. I’m sure you did.” Charles made a vague dismissive gesture with his hands, his tone patronising.
I am not your chérie, she thought bitterly. Lizzie wanted to erase that smile from his face, wanted to slap him to see if it went away. If she flung her pint into his face would that be enough? Would it be enough to see it dripping into his expensive football shirt?
“Anyways.” He started again, lounging too comfortably on his chair. “I don’t know why you’re still hanging out with him. Tudor is such a huge nerd.”
“Don’t talk of him like that!” She snapped. “You don’t know him.”
Charles frowned, slightly amused. Maybe she had sounded a bit too defensive. “Wow. PMS is a bitch, hein?”
Lizzie looked straight at him. She didn’t flinch from his gaze— she took all in, saw all of him. His dark eyes, his long nose, his wormy lips. She tried to find what had caught her attention before. Maybe, just maybe, it had been that overbearing sense of confidence he exuded through every pore of his being. Only now she knew it wasn’t confidence, no, it was an absurdly heightened arrogance. Suddenly she felt nothing towards him anymore. Neither love nor hate. Neither affection, nor contempt. Nothing at all.
“It was great chatting with you, Charles.” She stated with an even voice. “But I think you should leave now.”
Charles made no intention to move. “What, leave? Ma chérie, we haven’t even started.”
He moved to grab her wrist, but she pulled her hands into her lap before he could do so. "Just. Leave.”
Charles looked at a point behind her. “Tudor! We were just talking about you.”
Lizzie turned around to see a newly-arrived Henry. If he was in any way displeased by seeing Charles at her table, he didn’t show any of it. On the contrary, he looked every bit dignified. His hair was neatly combed, his button-up shirt complemented his Burberry tailored jacked wonderfully. He was wearing his contacts that day, looking every inch sharp and professional.
“Lizzie.” He greeted her with a warm smile, taking the seat beside hers to wrap an arm around her waist, going in for an open mouth kiss. For a moment Lizzie forgot they weren’t alone.
“Rôôôôh! C'est quoi ce bordel?!” Charles sounded a mixture of gobsmacked and furious.
Pulling back, Henry acted like he did not see him before. “Oh, Charles. Hello there.” Henry said simply, almost like acknowledging his presence was an afterthought.
Charles looked from Henry to Lizzie, eyes bulging. “Tu te fous de moi?”
Lizzie carefully replied, fidgeting with the hem of her skirt. “Charles, it’s been months since we—”
“You were fucking behind my back, that’s what you were doing!“
She opened her mouth to deny it, but Henry stopped her by landing a hand atop hers, ceasing her fidgeting. "Lizzie, you don’t owe him any explanation whatsoever.”
“I know, but people are looking.”
“All this time!” Charles kept raving, his accent getting thicker by the minute. “And oh my God, you were roommates!”
”Flatmates!“ Their voices corrected him in unison.
"A slut, Lizzie! That’s what you are!” Charles smacked down a hand on the table.
It was at that moment that Henry grabbed him by the shirt, pulling Charles across the table to face him. “That’s enough.” His voice was cold, perfectly controlled. “You will remove yourself from this table and quietly fuck off. Do you understand?” Charles, caught by surprise, could only stare at him. “Do you understand me?” Henry released him with a sneer. “Pauvre con.”
Charles’ face went quickly from white to purple. “Ta gueule!” He stood up, pushing his chair noisily across the floor.
The whole pub watched as Henry slowly stood up from his place. Lizzie tried to grasp his hand to stop him. “Henry, don’t.” She murmured, but Henry had already disentangled from her grip and made his way around the table.
“Ça commence a me gaver là, putain.”
“Ah carrément?” Charles scoffed, giving him a shove.
“Oui, carrément.” Henry pushed him back. Both men grabbed each other’s by the collar.
It was a matter of seconds. Lizzie rushed to get between them, struggled to pull them apart. “Stop it! Stop it! What’s wrong with you?!”
“Take that outside!” Someone shouted at them.
Why are men so bloody stupid? They were acting like she was some sort of property to be fought over. Henry had the grace to look somewhat ashamed, but Charles still looked furious. Thankfully, someone had called the security guard. “Gentlemen, I have to ask you to leave.”
“I’m leaving. He can stay.” Henry carded his fingers through his hair, putting his clothes back in order. “Come, Lizzie.” He took her by the hand, pulling her along. She managed to pick her purse and jacket before she was half-dragged to the exit door.
Charles still had some in him to bite back. “Yes, flee like the coward you are! Dégage!”
It didn’t matter what Charles could say, Henry was still the one who left the place with his arm wrapped around the girl. Henry mockingly waved to him before they crossed the door, but Lizzie could only feel her cheeks burning. She would never be able to step inside that pub again. They had just walked past the corner when she pushed Henry away. “Why did you do that?”
“Excuse me?” He was still jumpy from his altercation with Charles.
“Why did you have to make such a scene?”
“I made a scene?” He scoffed, sarcasm coming out. “Sorry, were you trying to make up with Charles back there? Did I interrupt anything?”
“You know I was not! Don’t even try to play that card. The point is you made it look like we’re a thing. We’re not a thing! We’re not even together!”
At that Henry lowered his head, as if taking a blow. He blinked for a second before replying. “Well, thanks for telling me now. When were you planning to tell me perchance? Today? Next week? Maybe after I brought you a wedding ring?”
“See, that’s not how a relationship works! You don’t get to decide what we do, what we are, before we can talk things through. Just because we kissed that one time—”
“By that one time you mean yesterday.”
“—That doesn’t mean we are together. It doesn’t mean I owe anything.”
“Owe me? What sort of nonsense is this?”
“Look, Henry.” She ran a hand through her long hair, searching for the right words. “I am not ungrateful. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for offering help when my family faced eviction. I truly do! But you don’t get to decide our relationship. I cannot repay you like that.”
“Lizzie, for God’s sake!” He rubbed his eyes. He looked tired, so so very tired. “I’m not trying to buy you!” His voice took a quiet turn then, almost tender. “Don’t you see that everything I do, I do because I care about you?”
She shook her head. “Don’t.”
“Don’t?” He looked befuddled, almost hurt.
She looked away. “Don’t come at me like that.” Don’t be soft now, or you’ll make me soft too. “What of what I want? What I think, what I feel? I’d like to have a voice in this too!”
“Of course, Lizzie! But you do!”
“I don’t want it to be like that. Like— Like I’m paying back a favour.”
“But you’re not! I’m not asking for payment!”
“It doesn’t matter, that’s what it looks like to people.”
He caught her wrists then and brought them to his chest, pulling her to him. They were both short of breath, chests heaving. He didn’t kiss her, but she almost wished him to. From that close proximity it was almost unbearable to look at him. He wasn’t wearing his glasses— there was nothing between her and his agitated eyes. They were piercing and blue, and terrible to face. “Lizzie, it’s simple.” He said, very quietly. “Do you want me or not?”
“I…” She faltered. Suddenly it was difficult to breathe.
“Stop with the mixed signals for once. Do you want me…” His voice dropped to a whisper. “Or not?”
“I…” She searched for a word, anything. “I don’t know.”
He released her then, splaying his hands like she’d just burned him. He stepped back, his expression unreadable “Henry?”
He pulled something out of his pocket and pressed it into one of her hands. She opened it to find a delicate gold necklace, a pendant in the shape of a rose carefully crafted. “What… what is this?”
“A gift. I have no use for it.”
Lizzie felt her eyes swarming with unshed tears. She looked up to find his back to her. Henry was steadily walking away. He is leaving me, the realisation struck her like a dagger. “Henry! Henry, where are you going?”
He didn’t reply. She wasn’t even sure he had listened to her. Lizzie watched as he descended the stairs to the tube station. He wasn’t going back to his flat, that much was clear. He didn’t need to take the tube for that. “Henry!” She called him one last time.
She wouldn’t run after him. Not her, not while people passing by could see her in such an undignified state. She did the right thing, so why did it feel like the worst decision she had ever made? The coldness of the night suddenly crept into her bones. She wrapped herself tight in her jacket, a shiver ran down her spine. She was left alone on that street, alone with her thoughts and the words she should never have said.
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