#i try to keep the distance as strictly as possible

[nothomegal]

HIII I MISS YOU :(( straight to the point, I need a yandere pyramid head fic!!

I´m sorry for the disappearance ;v; Can't post much due my studies.

Anyways, I ADORE your suggestion! And boy if our little (Y/N) is going to have a rough time with a yandere creature like Pyramid Head ._.)

Welp, let's start the story!

"Innocent lamb"

(Yandere!Pyramid Head x GN Reader)

Summary: the entity's realm was hell for some, heaven for others, and an inconvenience for the rest... But when one of the creatures encountered you, he made it everyone's problem, even the entity's that brough him there in the first place. But he meant no harm to you. He likes you. He wants you. He needs you. And he wͦ̀ͯi̸ll̩ͩ have Y̛̗̰͇͚͓͈̣͕̰͓̗͛ͤ̀̇̍ͥ͒̓͝Ơ̵̔_̰̅U̵̷̡̧̡̨͖̟̹͙̙͓̥̗̫̣̙͉͕͉̣̬̇ͭ͗̉͂̅̍͗̇̇́́̈͟͞

Warnings: yandere/obsessive behavior, violence and violent acts, quite angst(y) mood in general, (understandably) terrified reader darling :(.

Word count: 4.2k

The moment they entered the trial, all four survivors knew right away who the killer was. Either its the dread they all felt as soon as their feet made contact with the ground that gave it away, or the fact that the entity had placed all of them in the same spot next to two generators just to have any chances to make it out alive.

But they know it's in vain, they know they're doomed for a long long death by bleeding out.

They know it... Because (Y/N) is with them.

Said survivor had to bite their lip to avoid crying, as guilt and terror embraced them. Just because the monster had this unholy obsession with them it didn't mean they were okay with it, if anything it scared them more.

He, Pyramid Head, the Executioner... Or however you want to nickname him, is said to be one of the most powerful creatures the entity had the pleasure to bring, so powerful in fact that the spider-like being had to make a deal to bring him.

So it's not surprising that they are absolutely horrified, but who wouldn't? This monster, an embodiment of pain and punishment, almost a god, has been hunting them relentlessly ever since he laid his gaze or... Helmet? On them.

At first it was all jokes and gags;

'Aww look, (Y/N) has a boyfriend!'

'Watch out, here comes your crush (Y/N)!'

'Uh-oh, the triangle man seems jealous, look how pissed he is at Nea for healing you!'.

But the jokes stopped when it got clear how truly messed up and sinister said 'crush' is.

They still remember it, it was a regular match against that one masked knife wielding guy that runs a lot, he's called 'Legion' they think. The trial was going relatively well, just like many previous ones. Until it suddenly got an 180° turn when one of the walls to the realm was literally destroyed by a hulking mass of muscle and a giant knife. To say both (Y/N) and the killer nearly had a cardiac arrest was an understatement, things got so ugly that the entity had to intervene and cut the trial short.

That incident could be a fuel for a new wave of jokes, could... If it didn't happen again. And that next time was even worse, the beast nearly made his way into the survivor side of the realm, somehow bursting through the barrier the entity had created to keep the survivors separated from the killers to avoid any pity fights after trials.

Ever since that event, Pyramid Head was strictly kept in 'his' realm, aka Midwich Elementary School.

Sometimes, after escaping through the gates and running back into the camp through the fog, (Y/N) could swear they can hear the monster roar in the distance. Loud, distorted and fierce howls resonating somewhere behind the dense fog, as if the creature was desperately trying to yell out their name. Either to let them know how badly he wants them or a promise to break free and get them... Both possibilities giving them chills.

The entity of course wasn't okay with this, it was pissed! But it also could do so little... The great deal now had turned into a major curse. If the deal is broken, the Executioner won't hesitate to damage the realm to get what he wants. But if it remains, the monster will find new ways to bend the rules and make it everyone's problem.

Why the entity doesn't just give (Y/N) to the beast or gets rid of them ones for all? No one really has the answer. Some think it's due the entity's pride, or the possibility of the executioner going ballistic. For now, it's more of a silent (and petty) battle between two stubborn beings, each of them refusing to back away from their goal.

Goal. The entity's goal, though still confusing, is more or less clear; force people and creatures to play these twisted games and feed on those who get sacrificed. But the executioner's goal? It's straight up a mystery. (Y/N) know it has something to do with them, but... Why them exactly? Why not Cheryl? Didn't she come from the same place as that beast? What the monster even wants them for?

What will he do when he finally gets his hands on them? Wh-

A rough shake snapped (Y/N) out of their internal break down.

They blink a couple of times, tears of fear nearly sliding down their cheeks as their body shivers. They were scared, more than the other three survivors combined.

The survivor holding them by their shoulders, David, sighs when he finally notices them react.

—"Look, I know you're scared..."— he starts talking, his voice surprisingly calm.

—"I'm-... I- I'm sorry, I'm s-so sorry-..."— you choke out in a weak wobbly voice, guilt eating you from inside.

—"No no. Just listen for a sec. I... Well, we all can tell that you aren't enjoying it neither. So, let's not break down into a soap opera, okay? Don’t think of this as hopeless match, but as another chance to woop that asshole's ass and escape."—

—"And also leave him empty handed!"— Feng announces from her place while already working on a generator.

—"Yeah, screw that triangular piece of shit! Let's try out Dwight's strategy this time. You remember it, do you?"— he asks you, not letting go of your shoulders yet.

The surprisingly positive and reassuring words of their teammates towards them really soothed and even cheered (Y/N) a bit. With a small smile they quickly wipe their eyes before nodding.

—"Good, see? We're already starting on a good note!"— he lets go to then pat your back, basically pushing you forward. —"Now go help with a gen before putting the 'plan' into work."—

Though the push hurt a bit, (Y/N) didn't care at all about the pain, too focused on keepings all the negative and pessimistic thoughts away.

For the first minute and a half everything was going well, (Y/N) and Feng were working on one generator while David and Jonah were working on the other one. The four of them were dead silent, straining their ears for any of the sounds the creature makes, such as heavy footsteps, the scraping of his gigantic knife or their own heartbeat. Weirdly enough, everything was calm... Too calm.

(Y/N) nearly choked with air when a cold chill ran through their spine.

Spine Chill. The beast... Is watching them.

They attempt to subtly alert Feng by carefully tapping her leg, but as soon as their fingertips touched the other girl’s skin, their heartbeat started to get louder and louder, until…

—“WATCH OUT!”—

(Y/N) exclaimed as they pushed Feng, just in time to dodge a bunch of sharp and rusted metal pieces coming out the ground.

—“Holy-...”— she mutters.

Now that the monster is here, the four survivors decided to put in action the mentioned strategy.

They all let go of the generators and run away in different directions, (Y/N) being the most desperate while running since they know exactly who the beast is targeting.

His pattern is always the same; chase after until sending them into a cage to then down all of their teammates and then come straight back to all caged and helpless (Y/N) and then… Stare or touch them until the others bleed out or the entity has enough.

The difference in the current case, is that (Y/N) is not playing just cat and mouse. In fact, chasing them is the worst the killer can do. All of their abilities are chase oriented, another teammate lurking around has all the boon ones, while the last two have all is needed to rush through the generators. If everything works out, the monster will get himself in a situation where he's be forced to leave (Y/N) alone.

The chase was intense, at least for (Y/N). Despite never catching a clear view of the Executioner, they could feel him close behind, following them methodically like a wild animal on a hunt, waiting for the right moment to strike while keeping up the tension.

It was hard to maintain the focus, every single hallways in The Game looked the exact same. Did they vaulted that window already? Didn't they pre-dropped that palled over there? Did Feng placed it up again? Are the other two working on the generators? Have they taken this left path before?

So many questions where swarming their mind as their legs kept carrying them on, only momentarily relaxing when two generators finally made that distinguish noise.

Two done! Tree left.

A breathless laugh escaped from them. Great! This is already going better than all of their previous encounters with the Executioner, which would always end with the first generator barely reaching 30%.

However, their smile was quickly swept when they realized they no longer hear their heartbeat or thundering footsteps tailing behind. It was silent, dead silent, with no other sounds that their own breathing.

A wave of anxiety flushed through (Y/N) like a tsunami wave and started to drag and drown them deeper into their own worries.

What the?... Okay, this was not part of the plan. The Executioner had never left the chase with them, never. So the fact that he finally did, and apparently a while ago, made them shake.

With nothing else to do, they gather the courage to start moving again. Where? Somewhere! Anywhere but to stay in place and be an easy target to the beast that so desperately wants them.

They keep running, stopping only for a brief moment before turning a corner, making sure they don't hear any muffled breathing that at times resembled growls. They learned the hard way with the Shape that some killers like to wait around corners, and they don't want to commit the same mistake right now.

Their heart jerked when they heard a scream resonate from their left, and a faint reddish aura in the shape of a human gleamed for a second before disappearing.

David is down.

And it seems like he's not getting picked up, which could either mean that the monster is setting up a trap or chasing someone else. Whichever the case is, they shouldn't go-

They hear a bunch of footsteps come their way, and in a set of panic they crouch behind a bunch of boxes, silently praying that their disguise is mildly good.

They can't see much from their spot, but they can clearly recognize the shape of Jonah running away from something massive.

As soon as the two figures passed by, (Y/N) gets up and takes off running towards David to check on him.

After some wondering around the labyrinth-like place, they finally reach their injured teammate, who was still on the ground and groaning from pain.

—"{David!}"— you whisper-yell as you start running towards him.

He weakly lifts his head just enough to see them. When he recognized who it is, he starts to frantically shake his head.

—"NO! GET THE FUCK OUT!"—

Huh? What-

As (Y/N) is about to reach David, a path of sharp metal pieces and razor wires had emerged right in front of them, just when they're about to make contact with the floor again, making in impossible to dodge.

The second their leg got tangled into the sharp metallic mess, everything went too fast. They don't even have time to pull away as something sliced them on their side, sending them directly on the ground.

They send a guilty and ashamed glance to David, who had an frustrated expression.

—"{Sorry...}"— you mouth.

(Y/N) has no chance to see David's answer as a massive hand suddenly curled around their throat and forced them to look away from the other man.

Their eyes wide at the sight of the beast menacingly hovering over their helpless form, holding their body in place between him and the ground. The muscles of his extended arm were tense, his breathing heavy, almost like he's holding back the anger and displeasure caused by them giving attention to someone else.

Their heart skipped beats, their breath uneven, their eyes watered as they tightly closed them, not wanting to witness whatever this thing was about to do. They can feel the warmth coming from his body, his breathing slowly stabilizing, as if staring at them and watching them slowly submit was enough to calm the monster. Ironically, it did the complete opposite to (Y/N), as their own heartbeat raised from the anxiety of having to face the unknown, attempt to predict the unpredictable and prepare to witness another massacre unfold around them at any second... Just to then end up caged and at the mercy of this-

—"LEAVE THEM ALONE ASSHOLE!"— David angrily yells from his place, struggling and trying to stand up. —"You're fucking terrifying, of course they don't want to look at you!"—

They can feel Pyramid Head's hand tense and start shaking, his fingers twitching and pressing further into their skin. (Y/N) was beyond terrified now, just a little bit of pressure and the creature could crush their throat like a cardboard tube.

David, though clearly using all of his strength, ended up falling back on the ground, as if some invisible weigh is actively pushing him down.

—“You freak! Absolute sick fuck! Let them go already!”—

As the waterfall of profanities continues, (Y/N) slowly places their hands around the monster’s wrist to attempt to push his hand away, unfortunately he didn’t budge at all.

Suddenly, David’s stops screaming and the very next second (Y/N) feels something warm and slippery press against their cheek.

They jerk in place at the uncanny sensation and shoot open their eyes, a breathless gasp escaping them at the sight of a… Wh-What even is that? A freaking tentacle? A tongue?…

The dark pink muscle wiggles in front of their face for a moment before licking another stride, wiping some of their tears and blood in the process, making (Y/N) shiver in discomfort.

They shoot a confused glance to David, desperately wanting to know if he’s witnessing this too. The man had an expression of pure ‘what the fuck’; eyes narrowed, brows furrowed and mouth slightly gaping.

This eye contact was brief though. (Y/N) got startled for a loud growl that reverbed from the beast's chest and helmet. The hand finally leaves their throat as the beast stands up to his full height and starts making his way to David, leaving them alone, as well as his knife?

(Y/N) throws their teammate a scared look, but David responds with a forced smirk.

—"Ah, now you decide to drag your big ass towards me."— he mutters through gritted teeth.

The monster seem to not react to his taunts. With each step that he takes towards David, his mask of confidence seems to crack.

Nevertheless, the man didn’t back out from his insults, he never does.

—“What’s wrong? Why so pissy, huh?! Jealous that (Y/N) prefers us?!”—

Saying their name was a sore spot to hit, and the way Pyramid Head reacted confirmed that.

The monster roughly grabs David by the neck, completely ignoring the fact that he’s not even holding his weapon. Instead he uses his bare hands to silence him.

Nasty, wet and crunchy sounds resonated through the room and hallways as the creature began to tear the man’s body limb by limb, piece by peace, unbothered by the pained screams of his victim or the low groan of displeasure that resonated from above for again not playing by the rules.

(Y/N) froze in horror at the sight in front of them. Blood, chunks of flesh and bone pieces where flying everywhere, never before they’ve witnessed this type of gore, not even during the ‘mori’.

Though it felt like the massacre lasted hours, it was actually second. The monster threw the whatever remaining he had in his hands and slowly turned back to (Y/N), who was still frozen and unable to look away from what was left from David. They know they will meet again in the fire camp, in one piece and alive, but god they felt sick...

Their shock breaks only when the thundering footsteps began to resonate again, shaking the ground underneath them with each the creature took. He grew closer, and closer, with them being able to do absolutely nothing aside from attempting to crawl away.

But that pity attempt was stopped when the same sharp wires and rusty metal pieces emerged from the ground and wrapped around their body, pulling them slowly underneath and sinking them further into the ground. And before they realize it, their body is already trapped in that rotten metallic cage.

Cold metal spikes just inches away from their flesh, so close to penetrate their skin, a wrong move and they would undoubtedly get hurt. But even if they wanted to move, they couldn't really. The space in the structure was small, claustrophobic even, each spike perfectly adjusted to keep their form in place. In some twisted way, it felt like a hug, a very cold, unwelcoming and unnerving hug.

They flinch when they hear a scream resonate from somewhere, which was cut by a loud slam.

Feng was caught.

It seems like the Executioner didn't bother to down her, rather getting rid of her directly, most likely because he's aware that Jonah is not keen of going for rescues...

And speaking of the man, there is his aura flashing before (Y/N)'s eyes as his body fell on the floor.

He's down... Which means that-

Before they even finish their conclusion, the tall figure of the monster appeared. Just by looking at them his behavior seemed to change; movements more erratic and pace uneven, almost like he's hypnotized.

He makes his way to them, slowly, as if purposely building up the tension.

(Y/N) wanted to look away or close their eyes, but whenever they did so the cage felt painfully small. It hurt, literally, so they stare at that beast grow closer with wide shaky eyes that struggled to keep their focus on him. This is something Pyramid Head was always good at, he could always make you fear, even the toughest bravest ones would inevitably succumb to the terror his presence brings.

Ones in front of them, the creature stops in place and simply stares, like he always did.

(Y/N), though still scared, was a tiny bit relieved that this is what the rest of the trial would be; them being pinned like a butterfly with the monster observing.

It would be just that.

Just this bizarre staring contest.

...Right?

WRONG.

The creature suddenly let go of his weapon and grabs the edges of the cage with both hands quite violently.

Now the little hope and comfort (Y/N) had was thrown out the window, as now they realize they no longer have any idea of what will happen next.

And by what it looks like, the entity is not planning to intervene, as if curious itself to see what will happen next.

Pyramid Head remains like this, his big hands tightly squeezing the imperfect metal bars, bending them slightly and making the already miserable looking material groan from the pressure he was applying.

It looked like he wanted to destroy that cage, rip it apart and get to them, but didn't do it by holding himself back... Why? What's even the point of this build up? What's even the point in wanting them?!

—"{Wh-...Why?...}"— you choke out in a very quiet voice. —"{Why a-are you d-... doing this?...}"—

(Y/N) knows is stupid to ask, Pyramid Head can't even speak! But they can't help themselves, they're too scared, their anxiety is unbearable and their thoughts are too out of control. They need answers, anything that could even hint for a possible explanation of the killer's intentions.

They began to second guess their decision to speak when the creature froze in place, even his breath was now inaudible. This was the first time (Y/N) spoke directly to the monster, but they didn't expect him to react at this fact, not like this, or at all.

But he did, he did acknowledged that little detail, and he will make sure they acknowledge it too.

The creature soon moves again, by slowly leaning closer and slightly tilting his head to the side, almost like trying to get a better look at them.

His breathing got heavier, low huffs and growls resonating from that metallic helmet of his. It really looked like he was actively holding back some major urge or desire, but what it is?

(Y/N) wanted to ask again, but decided against it as there is little Pyramid Head could do to answer, and even if he could, why should he? Maybe it's more amusing to him to see them helplessly wondering in the dark and unable to comprehend what's going on.

Or maybe, there is simply nothing to explain?... Maybe he does what he does just because? Human mind is way too used to seek for reasons and explanations for anything and everything, often forgetting that sometimes the answer is way too simple or straight up null, could that be the case?

The same groan coming from the cage bars pulled (Y/N) out of their thoughts. They forget how to breathe at the sight of the structure slowly collapsing as the monster starts to rip the bars with his raw strength.

A scared yelp escaped them as they try to back further into the cage as much as they can, ignoring the sharp edges that scratched or pierced their body. They barely felt pain, none at all actually, the adrenaline and basic survival instincts keeping their body resilient and ready to run. The sad part is, is that there is nowhere to run, nothing to do. It's sweet that their body tries so desperately to keep their hopes up and reassure their survival, but their mind is more than aware of the cold desolated reality...

The front part of the cage was eventually ripped off and thrown against the floor violently. (Y/N) can only cover their eyes with their hands and quietly sob as they wait for whatever the monster had planned to do next.

Even when no further actions are made, they refuse to look. They no longer want to face this thing, they no longer want to suffer this torment. Regardless if they believed in any religion or no, they mutter silent prayers under their breath, but not no save them, but to make it end and to know how sorry they are for any evil or harm they've did in their life that leaded to such tragic conclusion.

But this is where the catch is... They've committed none. At least from the Executioner's perspective.

Despite their whispers being so silent to a non-existent point, Pyramid Head heard them loud and clear. And the more he heard their voice, the more he felt the inside of his chest burn and the desire for them grow even more. (Y/N) is not perfect, they're human after all, and all humans have their fair share of flaws and defects... But unlike the rest, (Y/N) has the ability to acknowledge said imperfections and genuinely try to make up for them, to fix them... Regardless if they get something in return or not.

This, this is the true purity in a human being. An innocence and kindness so genuine that it would be a sin not to worship and protect... And who is a best fit to take care of it other than the fearsome Pyramid Head?

(Y/N)... So pure... So innocent... So kind... He must keep them save.

He must keep them...

He wants them...

W̴͕̳͈͔̭̝͠ͅ a̶̩̰̲̎̓͊̈̓̕ ǹ̴̢͇̬̘̗̯̜̍̋͊͠͝͠ ṭ̶͇̃̔͝ s̶̭̩͔̹̝̼̅̍̆̉͌͝

As the monster is about to reach them, a spider like legs burst out through the floor and wrap themselves around (Y/N).

The trial... Is over.

And while the absolutely livid roar gets overshadowed by the groans of the entity as the black fog surrounds the whole place. (Y/N) only keeps quietly sobbing as they cling to the spider leg sticking out of their chest. And though they knew the entity is the main responsible of their current torment, they were too overwhelmed with emotions to properly process their actions.

Surprisingly, the spider-like being didn't disappear right away, probably feeling pity for their situation and allowing them to cry for a brief moment, most likely to compensate this unplanned mess they have to deal with.

To everyone's surprise in the camp, when (Y/N) finally arrived they where unconscious, either passed out after such emotional roller coaster or the entity wants them take some genuine rest. Whatever the case it, it didn't matter, what matters is that their fellow friend is back save and sound, right?

As one of the survivors decided to take them closer to the bonfire for warmth and comfort, they could swear they heard some weird noises from afar.

It resembled a demonic cry filler with rage, so distant yet menacing. Everyone instinctively shivered.

And though (Y/N) successfully 'survived' yet another trial with the executioner, almost everyone had the gut feeling that the next encounter they have with the beast, it will not end good...

They all take a glance at their still unconscious form.

Poor (Y/N)...

[violetrainbow412-blog]

Day 5: acorn

Masterlist flufftober 🎃

This is kind of flangst if you squint, but the idea came to my mind and I thought it would be really cute. One of my favorites, enjoy, and reblog if you liked it!

You and Spencer walked in silence, with only the sound of the orange leaves crunching under your feet. Autumn had undeniably arrived, and you knew perfectly well that this season was a blessing for many children, providing them with leaves on the ground to play with, warm clothes, and tons of candy. Somehow, it was also your favorite time of the year, as it brought back a few pleasant memories you guarded closely in your heart.

“How did he behave over the weekend?”

“Very well, actually,” he replied, happy that you had finally decided to break the silence. In the distance, you could hear the giggles of a child you both made sure to check on from time to time. “We made pancakes, I took him to the aquarium, we drew a lot, and overall, he didn’t throw any tantrums or anything like that. He even asked me to tuck him in.”

“He always wants that,” you said. “Sometimes he makes me read the books you give him.”

“And he asks me to sing him lullabies you taught him.”

You both fell silent again.

It wasn’t often that your ex-husband’s days off aligned with yours, and the truth was that you both only sought to see each other when strictly necessary. Many times, Jason spent weekends with his father, and when Spencer had the chance, he would take him to school and other activities.

As a father, you couldn’t complain about him. He tried his best after the divorce, as if wanting to make up for something, and you both made sure to keep arguments away from Jason’s ears because the last thing you wanted was for your son to suffer because of it.

It had been somewhat complicated explaining the dynamics of your post-divorce life to Jason, as he didn’t understand why his father, whom he loved so much, had to move to a new apartment. Spencer had tried to be as kind as possible when talking to his son, not wanting him to feel, even for a second, the abandonment Spencer himself had felt from his own father. He called him all the time, bought him an endless number of things, and made sure to have him with him whenever work allowed.

Work, work… that damned work.

“That’s just how he is,” you said simply.

A cold breeze filled the air, and you tucked your hands into your coat pockets, just as your husband did. Once upon a time, you might have held hands to deal with the cold, but now that was unthinkable.

“He also told me he already has a costume for Halloween, right?”

“He wants to be Sherlock Holmes. It was between that and Albert Einstein, but he went with Sherlock because he said his job was similar to his daddy’s.”

Spencer let out a chuckle that was stifled in his throat and looked in the direction of the little boy who was hopping around in the leaves, already too dirty from the nature of the park.

“Do you need money to buy the costume? I could ask JJ where they sell some, or…”

“It’s okay, Reid. I’ll probably make it myself or ask my mom,” you murmured, shrugging. “But he wants you to take him trick-or-treating.”

“I’ll try. But you know with cases… it’s unpredictable.”

“Explain it to him, not me,” you muttered seriously.

Honestly, conversations between the two of you were almost always uncomfortable. Sometimes Spencer tried to find a normal or interesting topic for you, but you rarely carried the conversation forward. Other times, you wished you could ask him about things that really mattered—his mental state, his feelings, or simply what was happening in his life—but you had no idea how to go about it.

That’s why you both preferred to talk only about Jason.

“Look, Mommy!” your son suddenly shouted, throwing a bunch of leaves into the air and laughing when they fell on him.

“How nice, baby,” you responded with feigned excitement, somewhat relieved that your son was having fun.

You both stood there watching the little one, and you could feel your ex-husband’s gaze from the corner of your eye. So many years of knowing him, of loving him, had allowed you to detect when he wanted to say something but didn’t dare. Sometimes, you still felt guilty for being able to read him so easily, and you had no doubt he felt the same, especially with that eidetic memory of his helping him.

“Jason talked to me about Christmas the other day,” he began, seemingly gathering the courage to speak. It had to be something important if he had taken the trouble to bring it up. “Has he mentioned anything to you about the presents he’ll ask Santa for?”

“Not yet, but he’s usually happy with whatever he gets. We can ask him later what he wants or tell him to write a letter for something specific, but I think some of the other gifts could be a chemistry set or art supplies; his teacher says he’s shown a lot of interest in both.”

“I see,” he murmured, nodding slightly. But he didn’t seem satisfied with your answer. “He said something interesting to me the other day. I just wanted to know if he had told you about it already.”

“Maybe if you tell me, I can answer,” you said without looking at him, trying to stay calm.

You had a suspicion of what your son had talked about, but you didn’t want to make a mistake. And Spencer felt exactly the same.

There was silence again for a few minutes, which felt like an eternity, and then he spoke:

“He told me this year he doesn’t want to ask Santa for anything because he wants to save his wish for something special,” he began. He paused for a moment and then continued, “I asked him what it was, and he didn’t want to tell me, so I suggested he could write a letter even though it was still early. He did, and after I put him to bed, I went to read it. There was a drawing and some words written in a messy but legible way. It said his only wish was for his mommy and daddy to be together again.”

By the middle of the conversation, you already knew what it was about. By the end, a few tears had welled up in your eyes.

“I know. He tells me that often,” you confessed, feeling a tightness in your chest. “And I never know what to say.”

“Have you thought about remarrying?” he suddenly asked. It was barely a murmur, but enough for you to turn to him in evident surprise. “I mean… with someone else. Or maybe having a boyfriend?”

“Jason takes up most of my time, and work takes up the rest. I don’t think there’s an opportunity to even consider it,” you said seriously. Since the divorce, neither of you had thought about the possibility of Jason having a stepfather or a stepmother. “What about you?”

“Never. I believe marriage is a pact you make only once in life.”

What was he trying to do? Was he criticizing you? Was he hinting that he saw the possibility of living together again?

“Well, that way Jason won’t be confused. At least until he grows up.”

“Don’t you think he needs a father figure?”

“What do you think you are then?”

“A permanent figure,” he clarified. “And a mother figure at the same time. We worry about ourselves, but we never thought about how this would affect him.”

“Of course I thought about it, Spencer. That’s why I asked for the divorce.”

Low blow. And a painful one.

“Listen, I know I’ve made a lot of mistakes, and I’m not trying to justify myself. But it’s been two years, and I think I’ve changed enough to prove to you that I’m not a bad father.”

“I don’t need proof of that. I know you’re not,” you said firmly. But when you spoke again, your words were harsher. “But I can’t trust that you’ll be a good husband.”

“I was before.”

“Yes, but then you ended up in prison. And you decided your work was worth more than your family.”

“That’s not true,” he exclaimed, clearly offended. “You and Jason have always been my priority, even now. I live only for you, and in return, you abandoned me when I needed you the most.”

“Spencer, stop blaming me. I had to choose between taking care of you or raising my son. Our son. So I sacrificed my marriage to make the best decision for him. We came second.”

“But divorce doesn’t have to be forever,” he insisted, stepping in front of you to make you look at him. “If you want, we don’t even have to sleep in the same bed. I just… I just want us to live together again. For Jason. I think he deserves to have a complete family because I know how hard it is not to have one, and I don’t want him to go through the same thing.”

You were finally talking more than you had in months. But to be honest, you wished it wasn’t happening. He took one of his hands out of his pocket and reached up to touch your cheek. You were freezing, and it became a fervent desire to lean into you and lose himself in your lips.

“Spencer, don’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“Because I need to think with a clear head. And you’re just clouding my judgment.”

“Why does it have to be a decision you make with a clear head?” he said, sounding hurt. “I’m not a stranger; we once loved each other. I still love you.”

His other hand came up to cup your face, and you placed your hands on his wrists, trying in vain to push him away. You didn’t have the strength, neither physically nor mentally, to do it.

“Spencer, nothing guarantees that getting back together will make us happy.”

“And nothing guarantees that it won’t,” he murmured, pleading. His fingers stroked you gently, and you felt yourself succumbing to temptation.

You were looking into his honey-colored eyes again, and you realized that was one of the things that hadn’t changed despite all the years; they still looked so sweet, so docile toward you. And suddenly, you felt as in love as the first time, and that terrified you. Loving meant the fear of getting hurt again.

You were about to say something when a shout caught your attention, making you think for a second that something had happened to your son. Luckily, it was just him trying to get your attention.

“Come play! Please!” he said politely, with that persuasive little voice he was already learning to use.

“We’re coming, my love.”

The conversation was interrupted by that activity, and although Jason asked why you were crying, you reassured him, blaming the cold in the park. As the minutes passed and you two began to follow your son’s lead, the mood lightened. You even reached a point where you were genuinely having fun, the three of you together, and it was undeniable that your little boy was brimming with happiness.

“A squirrel!” Jason suddenly shouted. He loved animals, so he didn’t hesitate to get closer.

“Careful, honey,” Spencer hurried, always the more fearful of the two of you. “It’s not a good idea to touch squirrels, even if they look cute. They’re wild animals and could bite or scratch you if they get scared. Plus, they can have bugs or diseases.”

“But I want to pet it! Can I, Mommy?”

“When Daddy says no, it’s a no.”

Your son pouted, pretending to be upset, but looking as cute as any 6-year-old. Your ex-husband tried to cheer him up by crouching down to his level.

“Better let’s observe what it’s doing. What do you think it’s looking for?”

“I don’t know.”

“Look, there. In its little hands.”

“An acorn!” he exclaimed happily. The squirrel was picking some off the ground and putting them in its mouth, filling its cheeks. “Why is it doing that?”

“It’s storing food for the winter. It buries them in a safe place, and then when the snow falls, it looks for them to eat.”

“There are more over there!” your son said, pointing with his little finger. “There are three. Do you think those are its mommy and daddy?”

“Maybe, son.”

“They’re like us, right?” he smiled.

You looked away from them because you didn’t want to meet Spencer’s eyes if he turned, and you only heard him laugh.

“Yes, maybe they are.”

Jason watched the animals for a few more minutes, and then he got distracted by a nearby hot chocolate stand. Spencer bought a cup for each of you, which felt wonderful. During the time you all sat on a bench to drink it, with Jason in the middle of both of you, you could sense the furtive glances Spencer gave you, and unwillingly, you did the same toward him.

Jason played for so long that the sky darkened, and he was completely exhausted. By the time you hugged him, ready to head home, he had already fallen fast asleep. And although his presence was evident in theory, you were once again effectively alone with your ex-husband as you approached the car.

He offered to drive to avoid waking your son, and then he opened the passenger door for you, where you settled in, trying to make Jason as comfortable as possible. Halfway through the drive to your apartment, there was an awkward silence that couldn’t even be avoided with music because Spencer had forgotten to fix the stereo.

You struggled to admit it but, to be honest, you hadn’t had such a bad time that afternoon. You were genuinely happy about the family moment you shared, and proof of that was how you clung to who you would always see as your baby, smiling as you watched him sleep so peacefully.

Spencer didn’t expect you to speak during a red light.

“We can meet up to spend Christmas together as a family. Stay in the same apartment, open presents together, and all that,” you said, not looking at him, trying to focus on anything else to avoid him “And it’s too soon to make such a drastic decision, Spencer, like going back to a practically married life. But we can think about it and decide after the new year.”

Despite your indifference, he knew you were being sincere and not just giving him false hope. And he also knew that he would work twice as hard to win back your trust, forgive your mistakes, and, with some luck, recover your love. You hoped you had the strength to forget what had happened and see Spencer for who he was now, not for who he had been.

“I’m glad you said that. And I agree,” was all he replied.

When you got home, you both made sure to leave your son comfortably asleep in bed, and as an extra favor and a show of commitment, you stayed a long time watching him sleep, as if trying to preserve that childish image forever. You didn’t say anything when Spencer wrapped his arms around your shoulders, and he pretended not to notice that you leaned into him, resting your head lightly against his chest.

All you could think was how you hoped time would be kind to you and allow you to eventually rekindle the love you once had and offer it to the beautiful child lying in front of you.

[nicromancytarot]

DESCRIBING YOUR SOUL TRIBE PART 2

This is a general reading based on a collective of people. Take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. If you don’t feel the pile resonates with you, don’t be scared to try another, if it still doesn’t feel right, that’s ok! Maybe our energies aren’t as connected and my readings are not for you.

I do these strictly for fun and educational purposes. I do not charge for these readings, and I do not fake readings. I would tell you the cards I get for the readings, but I pull like 15-20 cards each reading and that is just slightly a strenuous task to write them all down lmao.

PICK A CARD READING

I asked my spirit guides about your soul tribe (again) and how you will know that you’ve met them, pick a pile and find out what they had to say!

Pile 1 ———> Pile 2 ———> Pile 3

PILE 1

Your soul tribe will come to you during a time when you feel lost and alone, you may be around superficial friends, I’m hearing “financial” so these previous friends could abuse or exploit you financially. You will be having a really hard time before you meet them, I think this will last for around 2-4 weeks, and you will notice a mental shift in your head. One second you appreciate your current friends and are willing to look past the many issues, and the next you’re in need of comfort and feel sick, possibly physically when you’re around them.

You may meet these people through some type of transaction, you may meet them when you’re at work and possibly serving them, or perhaps you’re at the same shop buying something. Even if not, it could be you have to work with them for a school or work project, something where you all gain from. With how random these meeting will be, you may feel picky and almost against making new friends and meeting new people, you could possibly feel as though the universe is giving you another lesson. These people may keep an eye on you when you meet, they may notice something energetically up with you, and feel the need to protect you or as if they have a duty of care. I heard the word “dirty” so heavy on people playing dirty with you.

I see that they will comfort you, and you will be willing to let go of those that don’t matter to you anymore, you could think that old friends do mean something for a little, but they will help you put it into perspective, and eventually walk away from the people who don’t deserve you.

I’m getting these people as only friends, possibly 2-3 people, no romantic soulmates for this pile, only platonic.

PILE 2

I feel as though you guys will meet your soul tribe at at time of heavy isolation, I’m weirdly getting that some of you could be grounded? Lmao. I think you’re going to be making a commitment during this time, I assume to some type of work or job, there’s something that you’re trying to raise money for. For a lot of you, I assume these people will be online friends, I definitely feel as though there will be a distance between you guys, very much physically rather than mentally.

When meeting these people, you’ll need to have a lot of patience with yourself don’t doubt what you deserve, the universe is very much making way for those people to enter. For you guys, I think it’s going to be important to have a mental glow up, you need to focus on what you need mentally, rather than what you want.

There could be a possibility for relocation, some of you may actually end up moving over to the areas in which your soul people live. If you do not move away to another place, then your soul tribe is going to help you cut ties from ex friends, relationships (I heard “husbands” too.) Their main purpose is to help you move on from those who don’t serve you in the place where you are at.

From this, a few of you may end up in relationship, you could either meet someone through these friends, or you could meet them as one of these friends, continue a friendship for a while and then end up together eventually. I feel like it’s important to say that you will not ruin the friendship between anybody if you decide to date this person, this is a very much long term, if not forever relationship.

You’ll know you’ve met these people when you feel as though your life has been completed and you are surrounded only by people who keep you safe and protected. When you are able to fall asleep next to one of these people, or when you feel as though your brain has quieted down, that’s how you’ll know.

PILE 3

I feel as though you guys will meet your soul tribe during a time of change, at a point where you are letting the light guide you, this light may be spirituality for a lot of you, for the rest of you I think it’s your intuition. You’re surrendering to the feeling of trusting the universe and where it will take you. At this point when you let go of control and stress, that’s when these people enter your life.

For you, it will be a mix of either men and women, or masculines and feminines. The time when these people become important to you will be when you begin a new project, for some of you you may open a business, become higher up in your job, and end up hiring people for your business, or getting to know more people at your job. I see you guys working together a lot, particularly building something new - so I’m really feeling that for the majority of you, this is a business that you are running, and hiring individuals to help you out. Your work family will become more than a work family for sure.

These people may even help you out with your identity, the mixture of masculine and feminine energies, whether fully male, female, or a mix of all - will help you find out who you want to be. There may be a couple of people, particularly feminines that you look up to, and you may even lowkey idolise before you come full circle and become friends with them.

As the same with pile 1, you may feel physically sick, tired, confused, mentally exhausted the few weeks before getting up and beginning to become the person who you want to be. Don’t lose hope when you feel like this, this is just a sign of change and a massive switch, it will suck in the moment, however it will be so good in the long run.

I don’t think you guys will find a romantic partner through this group, I feel as though that may be a separate thing that will come along either soon after, or perhaps soon before.

[fckeddiemunson]

Who Do You Belong To? | Older!Eddie Munson

Synopsis: Eddie and you have been neighbours for a while and have been casually fucking. When you bring somebody else home who can actually satisfy you too. Eddie gets jealous and has to remind you who you belong to

Warnings: 18+ ONLY MDNI. choking, p in v, pussy slapping, slight dom!eddie, slight mean!eddie, oral f!receiving, just lots of general fucking, breeding kink, some fluff at the end cause i couldnt help myself 

3.4k 

You and Eddie had been neighbours in the trailer park for about 3 years. You had moved in after a messy breakup and quickly became attached to Eddie as a friend and somewhat mentor as he taught you how to fix certain things in your car. Eddie was older than you and still breathtaking. He had matured into his look, gathered more tattoos over time and gained some muscle from being a mechanic. He had helped you back on your feet after the breakup, helping you get another job at the bar he often played at with his local band, always keeping young at heart. 

Eddie was a useless cook though and most nights he’d come to yours, bringing a few beers to share and attempt to help you cook a meal for the two of you. It was your way of saying thank you for saying thank you for the car help. 

Its also how you two started fucking.

 One night after dinner was well over, you both sat outside, both sitting across from each other on the deck chair you had bought to tan yourself on. You were both drinking and talking, he always made you laugh. He was goofy and a little wild. He would tell you stories from when he was 20 and what he and his friends used to get up to. It was a little unbelievable you thought quietly but Eddie said it with such conviction you had to believe him. You didn’t know how it happened, one minute you were talking about music and concerts and the next Eddie’s lips were on yours, your hands tangling in his hair. 

Eddie managed to get you into his bed that night. He teased you on the couch for almost an hour, his fingers coaxing orgasm after orgasm from you. When he fucked you in was deep and slow, savouring the moment for the both of you. He reached areas of you, you didn’t know was possible and unlocked pleasure previously foreign to you. It was clear he had a lot of experience in the area and it made your stomach flip in anticipation each time you saw him. After that first night you kept finding your ways into each other's beds at ungodly hours of the morning. Each time he took you it felt like the first time, he would touch you and feel you like he had never before. Electrifying your skin with his touch. You had briefly discussed that this was a strictly casual thing. Or at least you both were trying to convince yourself it was that. Eddie was the only thing on your mind as you fell asleep at night, when Eddie was out late with friends or playing a gig you resorted to getting yourself off while thinking of him between your legs. Eddie was the same, the occasions he had caught a glimpse of you going out with your girlfriends to a bar, he was always jealous he wasn’t parading you around in that tight little dress, nobody allowed to touch you except him, it sent him feral. 

You had both come to the decision that it was good for you both to see other people. That this was fun but it was just a bit of a fling while you were both bored. Anyway Eddie was in his very late thirties and you in your mid twenties, it didn’t make sense to try and attach any relationship to the filthy, dirty sex you kept having. 

Eddie was the first to bring home a girl after a gig he played. He was shocked to say the least, usually there was a crowd of drunk middle aged metalheads reliving their teenage years. You were seething to say the least, arms crossed sitting up in bed as you could hear him through the thin walls and close distance. You could hear him making her come over and over again. His cock stretching her out and pounding her senseless. 

That morning you had watched her slip out, doing the walk of shame through the park. She stayed the night? You always left me afterwards! You thought furiously, you stepped outside your trailer with a coffee watching her walk away staggering a little. 

“Morning sweetheart” Eddie appeared at his door, shirtless, you looked him up and down, eyes drinking in his messy morning hair and his muscled arms. Eddie took a step towards you and took a big gulp from your coffee cup. 

“That wasn’t very nice” You stated, looking longingly into the empty coffee cup. “You seemed to have had a good night, she even stayed the night” you couldn’t help the passive aggressive tone drip from your voice. 

“I did have a good night, you’re right. She made such pretty faces when she came-”

“Ugh, fucking men” You had heard enough, you stamped back inside and slammed the door. 

Eddie followed you to your door, “Maybe you should go out tonight? Let loose” Eddie called after you. That made you more annoyed, he was clearly riling you up about the woman he fucked, and it was working. 

So you did, for the next few weekends you went out with your friends and found a cute enough guy to bring home. It was a useless exercise, they were all around your age and useless around a woman's body. After the second time you kicked the guy out and  had showered and gone crawling over to Eddie’s trailer, desperate for him to make you come. 

“Aww darlin’, couldn’t he make you come? Bet he didn’t even get you close, poor boy” Eddie cooed to you, his fingers buried inside your cunt as he pumped and curled his fingers making you see stars after only a few minutes. 

“Fuck you Eddie” You had moaned out as he said that, thrusting himself into you as you fell apart beneath him, a string of moans and curses whining from your mouth. After that time, you hadn’t brought anyone else home, knowing they could never compare to Eddie. 

You had calmed down from that night as Eddie didn’t seem to bring anybody else home either. Your routine of dinner and a few drinks had continued as normal, but no more sex. It was as if in your heads you had both called it quits without even trying. Eddie was talking about his gig the next night, and you were helping him sew on some more patches onto his denim vest. 

“I have kept this vest for over 20 years.” He said proudly, admiring your neat handiwork on the patches. 

“Jeez old man, that’s basically my entire life - time to retire your lucky vest.” You punched his tattooed arm as he fake laughed at you. Something about him being older really got your off. 

“Well you’re the one who’s fucked this old man darlin’ so I think I’m the lucky one” Eddie chuckled and you fell awkwardly silent, not knowing where you stood since you had stopped sleeping together. Eddie filled the awkward silence though 

“You should come tomorrow night at the Hideout, I think it would be fun, bring some of your friends and we’ll have a few drinks” Eddie smiled at you. You had never been to a gig of his before. 

“Okay I will, I’ll dredge up my leather pants just for the occasion” You joked with him. 

“Hey! Me too.” Eddie literally pulled out some leather pants from a pile of clothes and you had to mentally slap yourself for thinking about his ass in those. 

You thought that maybe just being friends and neighbours with Eddie won’t be that bad and that you could both just keep pushing your feelings down. 

You and your friend Elaine had ended up going, more people gathered in the bar than you imagined. You had already done a shot with Eddie when you got there, a bit buzzed already. “Wish me luck sweetheart” Eddie had said, booping your nose and going to get the stage ready.  Elaine had started talking to a nice guy who was buying you drinks and you turned to go find Eddie before they played, as you did you were met with a hard frame. Looking up to see another metal head, beer in hand that was now all over him. He was young about your age and wickedly cute. 

“I’m so sorry, let me” you grabbed some napkins from the bar and frantically wiped up  his shirt. 

“Oh sorry, that was probably a bit weird doing that.” He laughed at you before outstretching his hand. “I’m Andy, do you want to buy me a drink and come sit with me to make it up?” He cocked his head to the side and you introduced yourself and ordered him a beer and followed him to an empty bar table. You and Andy got on very well and talked for ages, you had a nice view of the stage from where you were so you stayed with him chatting as Corroded Coffin got ready. 

Eddie was watching you like a hawk from across the room. He wasn’t overly worried, you’d be crawling to him by the end of the night, begging for him to fuck you and fill you with his come. You had actually worn tight leather pants and they were sending him over the edge, not that he’d admit that to anyone, he was still convinced what you had was no strings attached. Still he felt a slight twinge in his heart as he watched you laugh at the younger man's jokes and touched his arm affectionately. Eddie had played the show anger rising with every song as he watched you with this guy. The larger than usual crowd was loving his aggression but he was going crazy watching you. By the last song, Eddie watched him slide his arm around your waist and lean in to kiss you. Eddie felt protective and possessive over you in that moment, but he was too stubborn to admit it to himself. You could feel Eddie's eyes burning into you from across the room as they walked off, it made you want to kiss Andy more. “Want to go to mine?” You asked Andy who nodded vigorously. 

You made sure you clocked eyes with Eddie as you led Andy towards the door and into his car. It was very clear you were trying to make him jealous and it was working. 

Eddie was at the bar and watched you getting into his car. Eddie gave it about ten minutes before curiosity took over him, he finished up the drink he had and called it an early night, practically racing back to his car and home. Call him a creep or not but he needed to know what you sounded like beneath him, if you made any of the pretty little noises you made when he was inside you or if he could even make you come. Eddie huffed at his own thoughts, feeling like a perv but nothing could stop him. 

Andy had you bent over your bed when Eddie did pull in. He could hear your moans from outside and he stood near your bedroom window listening to Andy pound into you. Eddie felt sickened, only he should be making you moan like that. Only he should be allowed to touch you, to be allowed inside your body. Andy had twisted his hand round playing with your clit softly, it was enough that it sent you over the edge, coming as he thrusted himself into you chasing his own high. Nobody else besides Eddie had made you come before and you were enjoying his touch - but something just wasn’t as good, Andy made you come but the intensity wasn’t there, did not elicit the same emotion as Eddie. Eddie heard the change in your moan and knew that the younger man had made you come. He retreated to his trailer, annoyed and with an uncomfortable boner. He heard Andy leave and knew that night you weren’t crawling over to him sticky and needy for him. It didn’t sit right with him, you needed to be his and only his. 

You kicked Andy out almost immediately after he left his number on your kitchen table. He tried to hug you goodbye but you recoiled at the touch, realising who you really wanted. Once you showered and changed you ate some leftovers in your kitchen. You lent against the window, spying Eddie in his trailer, beer in hand and the most angered look on his face. He rearranged himself, wincing, clearly hard and uncomfortable. 

Eddie didn’t speak or see you for the next few days. It was probably for the best that he didn't. He was furious and finally came to the conclusion that he couldn’t stay away from you and that something casual wasn’t going to cut it. You were left feeling a little heartbroken, it was the first time in a long time that he hadn’t come over for dinner or his daily check under the hood of your car. You missed him, missed talking to him but also missed his hands all over your body. You had decided to end the not talking and bake him some dinner for him, falling right into what he wanted. You knocked on his door, holding a tray of food, drawing a deep breath as he opened the door. Eddie’s heart skipped a beat when you knocked, he knew you too well to know that you would do this but he was still excited to see you. 

“Hi darlin’” He smirked down at you as he opened the door. 

“Hi, uh, I haven’t seen you for a while so I was worried you hadn’t been eating very well” You gestured to the food and he moved to the side slightly, your body brushing his as you went inside. 

“Always looking after me sweetheart” Eddie's voice was charming and it made you blush as you started plating up the food. 

“Not sure I’m hungry for that right now” Eddie was suddenly inches behind you, hands on your hips, lips kissing the back of your neck. You pushed him back, needing answers. 

“Okay Eddie what the hell. We stopped all of this and then you ignored me for days - whats the go?” You crossed your arms, Eddie’s face changed, and he lent towards you, trapping your bodies together as his hands grabbed the bench behind you. 

“Oh sweetheart, I heard you the other night, screaming your brains out for somebody else, I think you’re doing fine” Eddie’s voice was icy and you scoffed at him.

“What the fuck? We both agreed to screw other people. You’re just jealous that another man can make me come? Is that it Eddie? Scared that somebody is better than you?” You were taunting him and also taken aback he was behaving this way. His hand went up to hold your throat, squeezing as he forced you to look into his eyes. He laughed darkly, his hand slipping into your loose pyjama shorts, happy to find that you weren’t wearing any underwear. 

“Oh I know that I’m still better than him. Yeah maybe I am jealous because this pussy belongs to me now. Nobody else is allowed to make you come, only me” Eddie flicked circles around your clit, you held back a broken moan. 

“You can’t fuck anybody else then, you- fuck- you have to be mine too.” You grinded yourself against his hand. 

“All yours baby, I don’t want anyone else.” Eddie slid two fingers into you and curled them towards him, his thumb rested on your clit as he moved his fingers agonisingly slow. 

“Who do you belong to?” Eddie growled in your ear 

“You, only you” you were breathless, needing him to move his fingers faster. 

“Good girl, come on, I want to hear your pretty moans.” Eddie thrusted his hand deeper and curled  his fingers in and out, his thumb swirling faster on your clit. You moaned as he licked a stripe up your neck and kissed the spot right below your ear. You heard your wetness as he fucked you, fingers not relenting on you. Eddie flattened his hand more, his fingers sliding deeper and palm rubbing against your clit. You felt that familiar flutter in your stomach, your head rolling back and a low moan escaping you. 

“Uh uh sweetheart, you don’t get to come yet. You haven’t earned it.” Eddie tutted and withdrew his hand. You whined against him, hips rutting against nothing. 

“Do you think you’ve earned it after that little show I heard the other night?” Eddie’s hand came down in a stinging slap on your cunt, pulsating right through you. 

“Turn around.” Eddie spun you, pushing your face against the counter and roughly yanking your shorts down. 

“I'm gonna have to remind you who you belong to sweetheart.” Eddie’s jeans were rough against your bare pussy. He quickly pulled out his cock, teasing it through your wet folds, you shuddered at the feeling. 

Eddie pushed inside you slowly, the stretch burning you as you mumbled mindlessly at Eddie. His hands tangled in your hair, pulling you up against his back, his face nuzzled into your neck as he thrusted hard and deep into you. His hand travelled to your neck, gripping tight and pulling your head back as far as it could to look at him. 

“You look so fucked out sweeheart, wish you could see how desperate you look right now. And all for me. Hmm, you’re just my personal little slut.” Eddie was always a bit  rougher during sex but nothing like this, the way he spoke was only making you more soaked as he tunnelled into you. He angled his hips lower and drove his cock into your g-spot, your legs buckled beneath him, moaning loudly suddenly overwhelmed with pleasure you felt the simmer in your stomach rising. 

“Eddie, can I please come?” You whined, panting against the counter. 

“No, not yet” Eddie stopped and pulled out of you, hooking his arm around you and pulling you onto his lap on the couch. 

“You’re going to show me just how much you’ve earned it.” Eddie smacked your ass, prompting you to raise your hips from his and slam yourself down onto his dick. Eddie groaned as your pace quickened, your wetness gathering at the base of his dick. You grabbed Eddie’s hands and guided them to your boobs, he squeezed and you moaned his name, he growled beneath you feeling you clench around him. You bounced on him, breathless and needy to come but never quite reaching the high until you could tell Eddie was getting close, his breath becoming ragged and chest flushing as you rode him. 

He flipped you onto your back on his couch, holding your legs to your chest as he slid back into you, he felt bigger like this, everything was more intense. His thumb went to your clit rubbing as you watched his dick slide in and out of you, unable to look away. 

“Come on baby, I want you to come for me” Eddie cooed down at you, smirking at your fucked out state. Eddie snapped his hips angle so each thrust hit your g-spot deliciously. Your breath became ragged and a strangled moan escaped your lips at his hardest thrust, you felt yourself gush onto his dick, the wet sounds filling the room. 

“EddieEddieEddie” you moaned over and over as Eddies thrusts became sloppy and he pulled you closer, a harsh groan falling from his lips. 

“Want me to fill you full of my come darlin’?” You looked up at Eddie with doe eyes and nodded, biting your lip. It sent Eddie over the edge as he came, squeezing your neck tight before collapsing on top of you. 

You both cleaned up and sat at his table having a drink and eating the dinner you brought over. Eddie couldn’t stop smiling at you. 

“Sweetheart, I’m sorry I ignored you the way I did. It just hit me how much I like you and I was struggling to accept it. It’s one thing to sleep with someone so much younger but I want something more with you, if-if thats what you want.” Eddie looked anxious as the confession fell from his lips. You tucked a piece of hair behind his ear and grabbed his hand to hold it. 

“I want something more too.” you whispered before kissing him slowly, tongue invading his mouth as you pulled him closer. 

“I’m yours and you are mine” Eddie whispered before kissing you deeply.

[bookshelfdreams]

So the German dub is out and I would like to offer up to all of you how it deals with the problem of formal/informal form of address because it's really interesting

(Preface: all of this applies how we as modern people use these forms of address. In the actual 18th century, addressing any adult informally was very uncommon, even between close friends. But we're doing a DJenkins approach here)

(@rocketrouquine wrote about how it is handled in the French dub here; also very interesting!)

The thing to understand about formal vs informal you is that it's about politeness, yes - but that's just a very basic understanding. Yes, you are supposed to be formal with people you don't know, but what they don't teach you in highschool foreign language class are all the things choice of address can communicate. Namely, what distance there is between people. About the closeness of a relationship, what level you're interacting on, about signaling how far you will let a person into your life.

The crew of the Revenge all call each other Du (informal) - except for Stede, who everyone calls Sie (formal). Du is for friends and Stede is not their friend, he is the boss. There is a camaraderie and solidarity among the crew that Stede can't partake in. Sie, in this case, is like a barrier that you put up to keep someone from becoming too friendly with you and reminding them what kind of relationship this is (namely, a purely professional one).

This is underlined by the crew obviously and openly thinking Stede is an idiot - and by Stede calling everyone Du. Is it because he sees himself as a social superior who can address people informally but insists on formal address for himself? That's one way to read it! But more interesting and more accurate, in my opinion, is to read this as an attempt by Stede to make himself part of their ingroup. It's especially obvious when Stede invites Olu and Jim to sit with him on the couch in ep1; he's using Du while Olu very poignantly keeps insisting on Sie. It underlines how visibly uncomfortable Olu is sitting there trying to explain to Stede that people choose a life of crime out of necessity, while making Stede seem even more oblivious and out of place.

Interestingly, Stede uses Sie himself to put some professional distance between himself and someone else. Namely, with the tribe elder from ep2, who he addresses formally. Is this a sign of respect? Sure, he has a tendency to go for Sie by default. But it reminds me more of how one would be per Sie with a doctor or therapist; as a reminder that this is a strictly professional relationship. It's easier to be open and vulnerable with someone who you know isn't emotionally invested in your wellbeing, isn't it?

Stede comes from a background where one is expected to address everyone with Sie unless granted permission otherwise. This is a sign of respect, the same way lower class people on this show tend to use Du as sign of solidarity; on Nigel's ship, all the officers call each other Sie. So when Nigel uses Du with Stede, it adds a layer of disrespect, despite it being perfectly acceptable, since they have known each other as children. This is even more evident with Chauncey, who we see interact more with other pirates; when he wants something from someone (Izzy, Spanish Jackie) he calls them Sie, no problem, while Nigel's crew doesn't even make an attempt at showing some respect at the ep1 tea party.

And then there's Izzy. Izzy and Stede call each other every insult under the sun and also address each other formally the whole time, which is the funniest possible choice. Like. I'm not sure why "Sie Arschloch!" is 1000x more bitchy than "Du Arschloch!" but it just is. It's taking this whole game of distance and closeness to a whole new level; I despise you so much I would never entertain the notion of being friendly enough with you to use your first name. Sie Wichser. It's made even funnier by the fact that for Stede, Sie is much more intuitive than for Izzy. It seems like Izzy has to make a lot more of an effort to keep the Sie up, but he's not gonna be the one to break this particular stalemate first, goddammit.

Finally (because that's the really interesting bit, isn't it) Ed. Initially, in ep3, Stede calls Ed Sie, which, of course he would think to do that while he's laying there half dead and bleeding, I love him. Ed echoes this back, because he's determined to "do this right", make a good first impression, and I thought this would be it, they'd be per Sie until the kiss, like it often goes in media translated from English. Fine, I guess.

But then.

When Ed wakes Stede up, he immediately goes for Du. No warm up, no getting to know each other first at all. And it's great! First of all, because Ed of course is the type of person to just call everyone Du, but also because of what happens next: Stede calls him Du back. This is the first time this particular hand has been extended to him, and oh, is he excited to take it.

(Other people call Stede Du first, Spanish Jackie, the chief, but it's not like this; not an invitation)

Stede isn't meeting Blackbeard, he's meeting some guy named Ed. Someone he instantly makes friends with; someone who has already seen him at his worst and so, who he can be himself with. Someone he doesn't need to put up pretenses or worry about proper behaviour with. This scene would have lost so much had they decided to keep up the Sie.

Remember that camaraderie I talked about earlier? Solidarity among the crew that Stede tries but can't manage to share in? Here it is! Here is the guy who will play dress up with him, who will delight in his interests, who will be his friend.

Yes, sometimes an unprompted Du can be disrespectful. But sometimes it is like this: Hey. I see you. Want to be friends?

[justpoliteconversations]

Breakdown [Isekai!Reader + Legend/Marin] (Part 1)

In which Isekai!Reader has a breakdown and then proceeds to break reality.

This fic is purely for my own satisfaction as I've yet to find this particular topic explored and I have a mighty need. I've taken liberties. This is self-indulgent trash.

PART: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4

Masterlist

TW: Choosing not to display warnings. Read at your own discretion.

Disclaimer: Don't own The Legend of Zelda franchise. Linked Universe is the fan creation of jojo56830.

---

You'd tried not to get close. From the moment you were tossed through the portal (conveniently right at the Chain's feet), you did everything possible to prevent either side from growing unnecessarily attached.

Didn't stop them from strong arming you into joining them though. As an abnormality from the portal, it was in their best interest to keep you close and monitored. Which was fair, so despite your misgivings you went along peacefully.

Though you made sure to let them know where you stood in all this.

You weren't cruel, per say, but you made sure to keep your distance and openly expressed your disinterest in opening up to them. You just wanted to find a way home, and for the most part they did their best to respect that.

Most of them anyway. Wind was an absolute menace. The boy was relentless in trying to wiggle his way into your good graces, always trying to include you in all his little side-quests and jokes.

It would be cute, honestly, if you didn't know he was trying to pump you for information. Clever, using the kid, if you didn't already know who these men were.

(If you're going to try to act friendly with the target Wind, remember to disarm yourself of obvious weaponry before approaching. Silly boy.)

You'd put money on Warriors having orchestrated most of the interactions between you and the youngest. You may not have as advanced senses as them, but you're not blind. It's obvious Wind is reporting to Warriors and Time the nights Wind takes extra pains to interact with you.

(Not that there was much to report. You stuck to your story. Came from a more futuristic world, don't know why you're here, the Heroes of Hyrule are just stories- myths- where your from. You don't know much about them. Yes, you have some secrets. No, they're not harmful to their merry little band. Pot, meet kettle. You'll show them yours if they show you theirs. No? Okay then. Last you checked, they forced you into their group. "Have a good night Time, I appreciate everything you guys do for me. Goodnight Warriors, Legend, Four. Sleep well.")

For being such powerful, experienced heroes, they're not always the brightest. Must be the influence of their Tri-force alinment. It takes a special type of person to do what they do afterall. YOU certainly wouldn't.

But you degress.

Yes, you did everything within your power to keep yourself separate from them without making them your enemies. Slept away from the group, tried (and sometimes failed) to percure your own food. Refused any gifts, money or luxuries offered to you that did not directly involve your continued well-being.

Hell, you even took to cutting grass in your spare time, just so you had something to offer up with you inevitably needed thier assistance. And wasn't that a shock, to find rupees just laying around in the grass. Money literally grow in plants here.

Mind blown.

("No Wind. You found that one, so it's yours. Thank you for the thought though.")

Overall, you thought you'd done an excellent job of it. They- usually- kept to their part of the camp, you stuck to yours (lonely though it was). You rarely talked to them unless strictly necessary or Wind managed to back you into a metaphoric corner. During travel you watched the world go by, acting as another silent pair of eyes.

You thought you'd managed to keep yourself in check.

What a fool you were. To ever think you could keep yourself from loving these kind, selfless, traumatized, courageous goofballs. How shortsighted, to think you would ever be able to stay impartial to their plight, to their pain.

When the divines cast a hook, you took it with both hands and didn't let go.

You're such a damned idiot.

It'd been one hell of a ride to get to the point of no return. Somehow, you'd stumbled though a second portal just as you and the chain had finished exiting the first. Literally, just walked out the first, moved 5 feet away from Legend (your portal crossing partner that time) and promptly stepped into another portal that'd opened right in front of you.

You'd heard Sky's alarmed shout, the beginnings of Wild's bellow, saw Legend try to make a grab at you from the fading entryway. You witnessed Legend flinch back in shock as a wisp of light pulled from his hand and disappeared into the portal. Saw him fall to his knees, seemingly crumbled in pain.

And then you were gone.

You fell onto warm sand, blinded by bright, warm sunlight directly in your eyes. The smell and taste of salt was so strong you can almost feel it coating your insides.

The sea, you quickly realize. Your back hurts from being tossed from the portal, but you're so, so thankful you landed on dry land and not somewhere in the middle of the ocean. A little pain is worth not succumbing to exhaustion and drowning after a desperate, futile struggle.

You laid there for a moment, shocked and grateful and shivering from adrenaline.

You noticed the portal didn't disappear, and none of the chain came charging through to save you either. You watched it for a while, taking deep breaths to calm your heart and waiting for something to happen.

Should you try to go back through? Why is the sound it makes so damn irritating?

"Are you alright?" A lilting voice asks unexpectantly, startling you from where you're sprawled on the sand. "Oh! Sorry! Didn't mean to scare you!"

It didn't click at first who this woman was. Long, beautiful red-blond hair, freckled, sun-kissed skin and a little red flower swaying in the sea breeze above her head. A sweet but sad smile, with just a hint of grief in her soulful dark eyes.

You were surprised she didn't notice the portal. You wondered why.

"My name's Marin. What's yours."

It should have clicked.

"It's..."

It didn't.

You broke your own rule, unwittingly though it may have been. Don't interact unnecessarily. Don't get involved. Don't put yourself in a position to get attached. Don't think about it too hard.

Don't. Get. Emotionally. Invested.

"Oh! What a lovely name! I wish we'd have met before-" Her eyes flickered sidewards, and it was then you noticed the biggest egg you'd ever seen on top of a volcanic mountain peak. Just there. A nightmare wrapped up in a pretty bow, waiting for someone to open it.

And he did.

It started to break right before your eyes. Light seeping out through the cracks and pouring down the volcano and into the surrounding land. It was not how you remember this going down, but you knew (without a doubt) what this was and what was happening.

The shock must have been evident on your face because she started talking again, soothingly, though her voice cracked with emotion.

You barely heard her, eyes fixated on the sight of a mountain slowly starting to disintegrate. On the sounds of screams in the distance. Of little shapes moving away from the light, like roaches across the mountainside.

Your eyes flickered to the portal, still there, waiting, emitting the most horrendous noise. A long dark corridor stretching out into a vast nothingness.

The sceams continued. Some cut off suddenly. It was a small island, and the mountain tall. It let their voices carry into the lands below.

Your body was cold. Your skin numb and prickling.

You noticed Marin still talking. Her eyes frightened, though she was trying not to show it.

She was trying to distract herself, you realized. "We should go to the village. Say goodbye. I'll-I'll introduce you to my father. You can be part of our family. No one deserves to- to without having a f-family."

You looked at her. Eyes wide open. Throat tight. Heart beating. Mind numb.

That was where she should have been right now, wasn't it. But she wasn't because she was talking to you. She was too far away to reach it.

(She was never meant to reach it.)

She knew that. You could see it in her eyes.

This world could not be this cruel. It couldn't. It just couldn't.

She looked to you with such sad eyes. Wet with unshed tears. So very aware.

No.

She reached out for your hand.

No.

Her fingers cradled yours, warm and soft.

No.

She tugged you slightly, inching closer. Other arm stretching, stretching. Embracing.

No.

Her skin was warm, like sunshine. She smelt of sweet fruit and clean sweat. Her heart was thundering.

No.

It was warmer still where she hid her face in your shoulder. Wet. Damning.

And then a whisper. The flutter of lips.

A secret, breathed like a confession.

"I'm sorry Link. I wish I could have lived for you."

You bent.

You twisted.

You ached.

"Marin. If you had the chance to survive this, no matter how slim, would you take it. Even if it meant giving up everything? Even if it meant having to live with the pain."

She stared at you, bewildered. And then-

Clarity.

"You're like Link. Aren't you?"

"Yes."

Her expression shifted. Beneath the sheen of tears, a fire ignited in her dark eyes. Hope, so strong it scorched the world.

It burned you too. That unyeilding will to survive.

"Take me to him." Her eyes softened, but were no less determined for it. Instead, her resolve set like obsidian. "So we may grief the loss of our family together."

Hook, set. Bait, taken.

Now.

Pull.

---

It was agony. From the moment you grabbed Marin's hand and attempted to enter the portal, it felt as though your entire bloodstream was on fire. Like being unmade and reforged all at once, originating from where your hand connected with hers.

You wanted to pull away, but you didn't. She wouldn't have let you either way. Her grip was an iron vice. Deceptively strong.

She didn't even flinch despite the sweat you could see gathering on her brow, the way her jaw clenched. Her entire body was covered in goosebumps, the hairs on her arms standing on end.

You couldn't imagine what she must be experiencing, if the feeling of her hand alone was enough to arrest your breathing.

You took another step forward. She matched it. It was like walking through wet sand, sticky and unyielding, but not impossible.

You moved one step at a time, slow and steady. Open mouthed panting, sweat running down your faces and soaking your hair, plastering it to your scalps. Your skin was flushed from exertion and you guys hadn't moved more than a few paces.

You weren't even out of sight of the entryway when the light was suddenly ripped away from behind. Leaving nothing but a yawning void.

Marin stumbled, as though her strings had been cut, and you followed. Your entire body was molten lava, bones scorched to nothing.

Someone was screaming. Or maybe you both were. You couldn't tell. Marin was gripping your hand with all her might and you gripped right back. The point of contact felt melted into her skin, like you were a part of her.

Or she was part of you.

Eventually, you felt her start to rise, pulling you with her. You couldn't see, but you knew she still had that fire searing in her eyes. No amount of tear stains could hide her will to live.

She took a step forward, and you followed her into the dark. One, two, three, four....

Time lost it's meaning. You'd long since lost count of the steps you two stumbled through together.

It was getting harder. Each step forward seemed to add another weight to your shoulders. It hurt to breath, it hurt to blink. You stopped opening your eyes a while ago. Your skin felt blistered and cracked.

You and Marin had tried talking, but it wore on her too heavily. She was gasping for air even more desperately than you were, breaths raw and ragged.

More time passed. Each step got harder. You were stumbling more than you were walking.

You were sure your nose was bleeding. You could taste the iron in your mouth, where liquid dripped over your upper lip. You couldn't feel your face.

Then Marin threw up. Fell to her knees and just kept puking and puking, struggling for precious air, whole body convulsing. You reach down blindly with your other hand to try to get her hair out of the way.

You overshot and your hand ended up in the spray (it was perfectly smooth like water, not at all natural). It felt like liquid metal across your skin, ripping a scream from your throat.

The smell of burning flesh hit your senses as you curled around your arm, the limb pulsing under you.

You could feel tension building in your body, heavy and foreboding.

Marin was crying. She was shaking. She retched again.

She clutched your hand like a lifeline, desperation corded into every muscle in her fingers. You squeezed back with everything you had, reassurance you were still there in the total darkness.

The tension snapped.

Then her hand went limp, only your grip keeping her from fully slumping to the ground. Dead weight.

"Marin?" You rasped, voice shaking with pain and shock. "Marin?"

She didn't respond. She didn't move. Her limp body slumped against your side, like a branding rod searing through your clothes.

Your heart raced in panic and it gave you the strength needed to pull your still burning arm from beneath you and feel for her pulse.

You found it. Faint. So faint it was a mere whisper, but there.

Ahead of you, an endless void. Behind you, the gapping maw of nonexistence. Nothing in all directions but the limp body leaned against your leg. The sound of the portal just kept growing louder, like metal scraping in your ear.

Your body was so heavy. Your skin seemingly peeled back and exposed, burning against the agony of existence.

You broke.

You shattered.

You felt.

"It doesn't get to be this way." You panted, eyes open, seeing nothing and stinging like hornets. "No. You don't get to do that."

Emotion rose like a tidalwave within you, boiling under the surface of your skin. You turned your eyes up, casting your gaze into the void there.

"You don't get to do that to them. You don't get to keep hurting them like this. They're not toys. They're real."

You swallowed thickly.

"They're real."

The emotion boiled over. The dam broke. Everything else was lost to the Rage.

"YOU!" You screamed, voice shrill, hot liquid falling from your lips as something stretched and burst. "Don't! Get! To! Keep! Hurting! Them! You don't get to do that! They're people! They're real people with real feelings and pain, Goddamnit!"

You were lost to that rage. The feeling that had haunted your every waking moment since the moment you fell through that first portal. Since first you realized where you were.

From the moment you realized who they were and what that meant.

"You don't get to take anything else from them! You hear me! Not a single. Damned. Thing. More!" You spat. "I will not allow it! I! Reject! It!"

You hauled Marin forward inch by agonizing inch with strength you should not have, using spite that ran so deep it tore at peices of your soul.

You weren't even looking forward anymore (what need have you to know when the torment ends, when you're never going to stop. not until death takes you). Instead, you'd braced your feet firmly and started hauling yourself backwards, back arched so far you were nearly sitting.

"I will not let you keep hurting them for your entertainment!" You screeched, not caring how it hurt. Not caring how spit and snot and blood ran down your chin. How sweat soaked straight through your clothes, stinging against the aching rawness of your skin.

You pulled, both hands latched onto Marin's one. The universe pulled back, trying to take this precious being from your grasp. Your progress was halted.

You snapped.

"FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU NITENDO. FUCK YOU GAME PEOPLE. FUCK YOU PLAYERS! AND FUCK ME TOO! FUCK ME FOR EVERYTHING I EVER DID TO HURT YOU! FUCK EVERYONE WHO EVER HURT YOU FOR FUN!"

You screamed then, rasping, tearing and wordless. Just kept screaming and pulling against the universe. Against the pain. Against the unfairness of it all.

The universe pulled again and you snarled like a beast, grip so tight on Marin's wrist you felt something cracking. She felt like Hellfire under your hands.

It only enraged you more.

"You don't get to have her! You don't get to hurt him anymore! You don't get to hurt any of them! They're mine now! You! Don't! Have! The! Right! THEY'RE MINE!"

A choked rasp, iron flooding your throat as the nosebleed gets worse.

"Marin is mine! Legend is mine! Hyrule is mine! Wind is mine! Warriors, Sky, Four are mine! Time and Twilight are mine! Wild is mine!"

Another step back, an inch gained.

Again, and again, and again.

"I'm going to take back everything you stole from them!" You howl into the void, uncaring of how absolutely broken your voice had become. "The moment you let your guard down, I'm taking everything! You. HEAR! ME!"

"I'M TAKING EVERY-"

The universe let go and you fell.

...and Marin fell with you.

Suddenly, there was gentle light filtered through leaves, cool spring air and the faint call of birdsong. No endless darkness or scorching magma in your veins or the infernal screech of portal magic in your ear. Just bliss.

And then your body reminded you that it was not fine.

Your muscles seized, tightening in painful reminder of the strain you had put them through. Your skin stung like sandpaper burn from head to toe, your lungs ached so fiercely it drew tears to your eyes.

Eyes tightly closed and teeth gritted, you curled around the limp body sprawled at your side, limbs intermingled as your body spasmed through the pain.

Then, there were hands on you and you cried out in agony.

Someone shushed you, soundly oddly choked and quiet as another pair of hands gently tried to move you. Then several.

You refused. Arms tightening around the precious being trapped in your embrace. You fought with what little strength you had left, sobbing as the hands managed to pry you loose.

You wailed in dispair.

Someone sobbed with you.

You finally succumbed to your body's desperate demands to escape the pain. You drifted away to the feeling of gentle arms cradling you close, of soft whispers in your hair.

Finally, peace found you. If only for a time.

---

Perhaps there will be a part two. Maybe even venture into yandere territory. Who knows.

I must return to the shadows once more to recharge.

[wonbriiize]

pairing; wonbin x reader

genre; enemies to lovers (?)

warnings; a little bit of cursing, suggestive (a bit)

note; i‘m not 100% satisfied with this but i hope y’all still like it !! also omg i love talk saxy,, riize really went off with it

keeping distance

in which you have art class with wonbin and you two have to put your hatred feelings for each other aside when the teacher puts you in a group together…

“this can‘t be happening,” you say to your best friend shotaro who‘s sitting next to you. for him, this whole situation is hilarious.

“you will never get rid of him,” shotaro giggles and you glare at him before you put up your hand and ask the teacher if you’re allowed to switch your partner. the teacher strictly shakes his head.

“the partners can’t be changed.”

“but we don’t get along,” you look over to him, the person you don’t like.. and he doesn’t like you either. he always makes sure to let you know that he’d rather kiss a cactus than be in your presence.

“maybe you two can take this time to learn how to get along then, right wonbin?” the teacher smiles at wonbin and then looks back to you, carrying a very provocative smile on his face. it angers you.

what angers you even more is that, when the teacher said this, wonbin just scoffed. what is he scoffing for? you think. if you want, you can be a really nice person. wonbin just has never gotten to know this side of you because he also has never shown you his nice side.

“just.. ignore him if he‘s being too annoying,” shotaro whispers to you before you stand up to walk over to wonbin.

he doesn’t even look up to you when you’re standing right in front of him.

you cough to get a reaction, but nothing happens.

wonbin keeps looking at the big canvas in front of him, on which the two of you have to draw something for this project.

“okay well i tried,” you say, turning around. you were ready to walk away but wonbin stops you.

“what are you expecting me to say?”

rolling your eyes, you turn to him again.

“maybe.. hello? since we have to be civil and mature with each other. for now.”

“can you stop being so dramatic and just sit down?”

you notice wonbin staring at you. analyzing him back, you can’t deny the fact that he is truly the most attractive person you know. if it wouldn’t be for his character, you would for sure like him.

maybe even a little too much…

you shake your head to avoid those thoughts and sit down on the empty chair next to him.

“i think we should divide the canvas in two and then each of us has their own side,” you suggest proudly. you like that idea; keeping distance between wonbin and you because not even on a canvas you two would match well together.

“that‘s stupid. we need to work together for this,” wonbin disagrees. his eyes are back on the canvas and it looks like he’s envisioning something.

“we are. just on two different sides but still on the same canvas.”

“and you think you’re being mature?” wonbin turns to you. the two of you lock eyes and you can’t help but to stare at his face.

why does he have such beautiful eyes? and apart from that, his lips are also so perfect…

you stop yourself from thinking about him in that way (again), but being this close to him is making this hard for you.

“well what’s your idea?” you bite your bottom lip and turn away as fast as possible.

wonbin chuckles. he knows that you’re trying so hard to not just stop and make out with him. he clearly wouldn’t say no to that..but he would never let you know because he likes this little disliking each other game that the two of you play.

“we should just go for it, like draw whatever comes to our minds,” he says.

you decide that instead of having a discussion with him about this right now, you should just agree. be more mature than him.

the two of you start drawing on the canvas, unconsciously staying on each of your sides.

it’s been a few minutes and you can’t believe that it’s actually working; wonbin and you are working. together. without fighting. somehow this puts a grin on your face.

“hey, we are actually doing goo- what the hell?!”

you wanted to compliment wonbin for working so well together but he suddenly paints a black star on what you’ve drawn.

“why did you do that??”

“it looked boring. now it looks cool,” he goes back to drawing on his side.

you can’t believe that he just did that. you grab after the red paint, move closer to wonbin and paint all over his drawing.

before you could go even more wild, he grabs after your hand and pulls it back.

“are you serious right now?!”

“you destroyed my painting!”

“i was helping you! it was boring!”

“you know what else is boring?” you grab the paintbrush (with the hand that wonbin isn’t holding), dip it in blue paint and then go all over wonbin‘s white apron.

wonbin lets go of you because of how shocked he is that you did that. he licks his lips before he grabs after his paintbrush.

“no no no no,” you say, a smile sneaking on your face. you stand up from your chair and run straight out of class, knowing that your teacher will probably scold you later on.

thinking that maybe wonbin won’t go after you since you’ve ran out of the classroom, you lean yourself against the wall.

you don’t know why but you start laughing. you should have taken a picture of wonbins face when you painted his apron because his expression was just too hilarious.

okay, you calm down, maybe it’s time to go back.

and just as you walk around the corner to go back to your class, you feel someone grab your waist to turn you around.

“you didn’t think that i’d let you go this easily, did you?” wonbin smirks.

he‘s still holding your waist, keeping you close.. so close that you can hear him breathe.

“you started it,” you could slap yourself for sounding how you do right now, so unsure and shaky.. all because of wonbin.

“you went overboard. so don’t you think it’d be only fair if i also draw on,” his hand moves down to your apron. he lightly pulls at it. “this?”

you gulp, not knowing what to do or to say. you’re trying your hardest to fight off all those thoughts that are going through your mind right now.

“lost your voice, have you?” wonbin‘s smirk just grows bigger and bigger.

“we should go back to class,” you say.

you could totally free yourself from wonbin’s grip but you don’t want to. you are actually enjoying being this close to him.

nevermind the fact that you said there needs to be distance between you and him. hell, if you could you would even close this last bit of distance between the two of you right now.

“that’s not really what you want to do, is it?” wonbin slightly pulls you closer. too close.

it’s getting dangerous. so dangerous that you don’t know if you’re able to hold yourself back. and you hate that he knows.

wonbin moves closer to your face and puts your hair back on the right side. “tell me, *y/n*, what is it that you really want to do?” he whispers into your ear.

“honestly, i just really want to paint all over your face,” you’re happy that your voice is sounding more confident again.

wonbin tries hard to not let you show that this wasn’t what he was expecting you to say.

“but i also want to kiss you,” you whisper, looking down at his lips.

now, wonbin’s mouth forms into a smirk again. this is what he has been waiting to hear. since forever, actually.

you don’t know that wonbin only annoys you because that’s what he does when he likes someone. he was never sure if you actually dislike him or if you feel the same way until today, when the teacher put you two together. that’s when he saw that you wanted him just as much as he wanted you.

“so do it,” wonbin whispers against your lips, which seconds later, collide with his.

wonbin has made you feel so many things throughout the time you’ve known him, but today, right now, while you’re kissing him, whatever you’re feeling because of him is.. different. it’s new.. and exciting. it’s like there’s thousands of fireworks exploding inside of you.

and it’s all because of wonbin.

the person you didn’t really dislike that much, after all.

[randomfoggytiger]

Mulder's Alien Baby Baby Trauma In-Depth (Part XIII): Fox Mulder, Partner and Father

Since his arrival at Scully's apartment the previous morning, Mulder has been demonstrating the ever-evolving state of his emotional growth. The events of the following twenty-four hours, however, bring these changes-- and his self-imposed distance-- to a head; and he realizes the only person holding him back is himself.

SETTING THE STAGE

Plot plot plot, a body is found in South Carolina, and Reyes calls Doggett and Mulder in to investigate.

Mulder has, supposedly, stayed away from Scully overnight (and all the next morning) for reasons I can only log as Carterian. This is one of those Season 8 decisions that cannot be explained within reason of Mulder’s character, given his history and past reactions; and must, therefore, be taken with a massive, begrudging mountain of salt. However, because his characterization remains intact despite ill-thought-out teleportation, I’m not too frustrated over this development (as I am his actions in Essence and Existence.) Furthermore, the plot's logical fallacies-- air travel, time, distance, location-- that the writers didn't consider make their decisions... logically shaky, at best. 

Personally? I would have written this episode’s case closer to home-- Washington D.C. close-- and had this scene unfold after Doggett slammed Mulder against the wall. It would flow narratively, too: Reyes calls Mulder, Doggett catches them, hears their lack of answers and storms off to Scully’s hospital room. All three are called to the crime scene, then Mulder holes up in his office and tries to shake Reyes off his tail (previous post here.) Afterwards, Mulder walks off the case and stays at the hospital until Scully’s release (as he does the rest of Empedocles.)

DOGGETT AND MULDER, AND MORAL REFELCTONS

Mulder is waiting at the crime scene when Doggett pulls up, answering his “What am I doing here?” with a posturing, cross-armed, “Been asking myself that same question, Agent Doggett." Something’s different: Mulder is suddenly acting as if he’s on Doggett’s side, light-hearted in tone and subtly comedic in mannerisms. 

“But it seems,” he unwinds, pointing up to where Monica is, “that the tenacious Agent Reyes does not want to let go of this one.” 

Doggett does something interesting here: he squeezes right into Mulder’s zone, right up against Mulder’s back. He’s not trying to intimidate or crowd Mulder, either-- and, while this could be a result of the on-set crew guiding both actors into a tighter frame (for whatever reason), I posit that his actions are a result of his partnership with Scully.

We often give Mulder more props for being up-close-and-personal one in the X-Files department, but Scully does have a history of always initiating physical contact between them (the hug in Pilot and Irresistible, holding him close in Paper Hearts, ruffling his hair and feeling him for injuries as often as possible, etc.) In fact, her rush for comfort in the Pilot began Mulder journey towards more expressive physical affection (post here.) I’m not positing she was as chummy-chummy with Doggett in her partner's absence, but it is interesting to note that being in Mulder’s personal space-- even seeking that space-- was not outside of Doggett’s rote routine. 

(Sidenote: Can confirm: while Doggett is a typical, regular dude who isn't as bothered about personal distance, Scully herself initiates close contact multiple times. Both operate under strictly platonic terms-- the actual kind-- but it's an interesting observation, nevertheless.)

Mulder’s not particularly open or receptive to this closeness; but he doesn’t rebuff it, allowing Doggett to keep pace or withdraw as his mood dictates. It's a mark of Mulder's responsive sensitivity to others' distress: a sympathy born from true suffering, and one which enables him to empathize with fellow sufferers.

On the other hand, their actions also demonstrate that Agent Doggett has sensed Mulder's positioning allyship and is responding to that energy by leaning towards (and clinging to) it.

An interesting thing happens here: when Doggett insists, “There is no connection,” Mulder’s face grows strained and weary. The toll of his abduction and the burden of the files are weighing heavier and heavier on his psyche; and his unhealthy mental state-- combined with Reyes’s need for backup and Doggett’s increasing push and pull-- is wearing him down to a nub. More accurately, he’s so worn and weary that his walls and disguises and facades are dropping, and becoming harder to smooth back into place.

When Doggett resists the pull of the crime scene, maintaining that he sees nothing and there is no connection (i.e. denying his own instincts), Mulder’s eyes are fixed on him: surprised that the other agent is sensing something, and guardedly concerned for his wellbeing. And when Monica calls after her friend (“I think you do”), peeved, Mulder stares her down, tense. 

An understated but incredibly important point: witnessing Doggett’s reopened wound is tearing down walls Mulder had protectively erected after his return (post here and here.) Empedocles pits the near death of Mulder's own (unacknowledged but wink wink, nudge nudge, he knows, post here) child with another man’s loss. Having observed Doggett's intense emotion in the FBI hallway-- his hope and disappointment and frustration at their lack of answers-- and having read the files on his son and the investigation into it, Mulder is already sympathetic to his pain. But here, he begins to view this case through the eyes of a man increasingly aware of how close he came to this same grief, twenty-four odd hours ago. Total loss-- compared to his near loss-- is refocusing Mulder's perspective, shifting his acceptance and curiosity of Scully's pregnancy to maturer consideration and "ownership" (i.e., literally "laying claim" later by resting his hand on Scully's bump.) Reyes's insistence on pushing and prodding raises his hackles, too, because she is forcing Mulder to confront his own strain of disbelief and cowardice by proxy.

Although this is the only scene that hints at and attempts to address these insecurities (other than Essence's opening monologue... though that was a similar but separate issue), David Duchovny provides just enough fluctuation in his voice and facial expressions to float this idea closer to an actualized, well-written point.

When Doggett turns back around, angered at Monica’s insistence, Mulder looks away from both (handing out a measure of privacy to a fellow father and an ounce of disapproval to his other fellow investigative agent.) 

“You’re just afraid to go there,” Reyes states. 

It’s not a lie; but it galls Mulder, too. Not only is he frustrated with how bluntly she’s handling Doggett’s pain, but he feels the reproof of her words, too. If Mulder had been solely concerned for Doggett, he’d let the man fight his own battles-- a pattern he upheld with Scully throughout their partnership. Here, he lashes out: meaning, Mulder’s conscience is pricking him over his own withdrawal and cowardice; and, mad at being reproved, he snarks (a classic defense mechanism exhibited in One Son, for example-- post here):  

“Oof. Man, you just keep shootin’ until you hit something, don’t ya?” He stares Monica down, signaling she should back off. 

Reyes, as the saying goes, persisted: “You’d rather blind yourself to the connections, but I can’t.” 

The episode draws clear parallels between Doggett’s fear of grasping the truth, and life, again (i.e. retreating from Scully’s bedside and denying his instincts) and Mulder’s commitment to trying once more (i.e. joining Scully at her bedside and staying.) It’s a rather ham-fisted moral for the formerly dead: Mulder can choose to embrace new beginnings and happiness (“eat, dance, make love”); or he can spend the rest of his days haunted by the past, missing opportunities for contentment in the present. Moreover, it would have been the perfect follow-up to Closure: Mulder found resolution to his old lesson there-- freedom-- but is now presented with a new challenge-- responsibility. No longer would he be victim to-- and have to learn to accept-- the past (i.e. Samantha's death), but Mulder would be able to transform the present and change the future. In other words, he could shape his own life by choice, leaving his mark by fully embracing the desire to love, raise, and protect his growing child. Which, he does... without the added bonus of those connections being drawn for the audience.

Mulder listens to her and Doggett’s back and forth-- Doggett giving her another shot to explain herself, Monica positing her own (unfortunately true) theory; and remains silent until the latter suggests the two cases are linked by “a thread of evil” connecting to the former. 

“They see evil in death like others see God in a rose,” she says; and he jumps in with a flippant, “I saw Elvis in a potato chip once,” purposefully reinforcing the distance he’s been creating since their previous scene together. He continues to stare her down, a false grin stupidly plastered on his mouth.

However, Reyes still isn’t letting him off the hook, calling out his pretended idiocy with a pointed, “You know what I’m talking about.” 

Caught, and a touch amused, he admits, “Yes, I do,” dropping his flippancy long enough to observe, “I do.” Turning to Doggett, he adds, “But if this man doesn’t see it, he doesn’t see it. Right?” 

Point made, he watches Agent Doggett refuse to concede and Agent Reyes work out that she needs John, not Mulder, to solve this case; and leaves, knowing his job here is done. 

THE FIRST VOLUNTARY TOUCH

It’s after 3 PM in D.C. when Mulder finally makes his entrance. 

He opens Scully’s hospital room door haltingly, trepidatiously hanging on her face. Seeing no sign of pain or distress, Mulder is momentarily soothed; and he blinks, hanging back a second longer to gauge if she’s awake (and to watch her sleep.) 

Meeting up with Doggett and Reyes in the field and smacking against the wall he'd constructed post Deadalive began a shift in Mulder’s priorities (that will culminate in his transition from the Bureau.) Still, those sensations hadn't "clicked" yet: he asks after his partner's health, first, not yet considering the baby's until its safety is brought into question. That is the moment everything clarifies and slots into place.

“You awake?” he whispers gently, mirth dancing in his eyes and softening his face. He’s sneaking in, undetected-- or so he feels-- and hopes his partner’s awake enough to play along. 

She is. Scully stirs, turns, and tilts her head, birdlike, when she registers her partner. “Yeah,” she answers, and smiles. 

Delighted, he immediately slides through the doorway, eyes locked as he tries to divine her mood: to see if she’s all right. 

Mulder is newly tender, lighthearted, and unburdened-- a first, not only post abduction but also in Empedocles. We saw his return to form with banter and unbridled two-stepping at the beginning of this episode; but his behavior here is the first glimpse of that lost sense of “wholeness” he’d gained after his revelation in Amor Fati, his next step in Millennium, and his final “truth” in Closure. Even though he’s come a long way since his distance in Three Words (i.e. gravitating to Scully while refusing to open up to her) and the missing scene pre-Empedocles (i.e. rifling through his mom's stuff to bring an offering for his child), this is the first time Mulder approaches the pregnancy "situation" as an equal partner and father. No longer is he trying to puzzle “where I fit in”, but is actively creating a place for himself. And Scully is equally eager to welcome him, in all his Mulderly glory, back to her side.

As he closes the door, Mulder seems to take in, all at once, the cannula in her nose and needles in her arm; and is sucked back into a soberer mood. It dawns on him, perhaps, that he still doesn’t know what her prognosis is-- that neither might be out of the woods, yet. 

Closing the door first, he swiftly advances and asks, seriously, “What did the doctor say?” Mulder gives her a gentle, anxious little blink, hovering over the bed with repressed concern. When Scully takes a second to reply-- collecting herself with a sigh-- he starts to panic.

“That I had a partial abruption.” 

His panic evolves into terror as Scully continues to soberly lay out the facts. Mulder looks down, trying to make sense of this information; and his eyes shift to her bump while his brain grasps for any slight, hopeful intonation in his partner’s voice. 

In fact, not only does he glance over, but Mulder’s head also involuntarily turns in the direction of the baby, lingering there a second or two before swinging back to Scully’s face. 

As she continues to lay out the facts, he looks down again, a sense of devastation blooming over the notion that this child might not be stable for long. In that second, Mulder's mentality flips: he immediately rejects that thought, and looks up, eyes burning fiercely. As he licks his lips, a new and powerful determination takes hold and roots: he will do anything to keep this baby alive: not just for Scully’s sake, but for his own. 

This is the moment when Mulder alters: it’s one thing to observe lessons and accept truths from a detached distance, and quite another to be struck full-force with a surge of powerful, unconquerable-- and personalized-- emotion. While Mulder sympathized with and reflected on Doggett, he hadn’t understood or embraced those sensations for himself. The baby was his, if the math was to be believed; and he was ready-- he thought-- and happy, despite a lingering, unsteady feeling of inadequacy. But it hadn’t dawned on Mulder how irrevocably that protective and all-encompassing surge of “mine” extended to the baby, until now.

“They’re gonna need to monitor me for a while,” Scully concludes, subdued; but Mulder begins to relax, regardless, not having heard anything more threatening than implied bed rest.

Looking down once more, he soaks her answer in; and clarifies, “But you’re gonna be fine?” 

“Yeah,” she confirms, smiling.

The baby begins to move; and when Scully looks down, right eyebrow twitching, Mulder acts on his relief (and a whoosh of courage.) Tense but decided, he reaches out in one stiff, jerky motion, readjusting his hand before slowly letting it sink completely onto Scully's belly. Exhaling, he shoots a strained smile for her benefit: awkward, but settling in. She, meanwhile, is not at all disturbed, knowing these are Mulder's first baby steps (heh) and trusting he will be knocked off his feet once it hits home.

Two things of note: this is the first time since "the return" that Mulder has voluntarily initiated physical contact. While he rushed to Scully's side and rubbed her back at the apartment, that was in response to extreme pain and distress, not a reopening of himself. Post Deadalive, he's been gradually working back to normal (with a few hitches here and there); and his reactions here demonstrate how uncomfortable he still was in the wake of his surfacing memories and PTSD. However, this is his child, and his partner gave him an encouraging directive; and Mulder is determined to do this-- "this, having a baby 'this'"-- the right way.

Scully knows he can feel the baby, and looks up, drinking in the first of many happy firsts for her partner. The camera focuses on her face, her reaction first, then switches hazily to Mulder's comfortably resting hand-- a visual hand-off (heh) from the experienced (Scully) to the inexperienced (Mulder.)

Mulder is in awe, so completely enraptured that he is lost to the world around him. His eyes are full of wonder; his face is impossibly young, and his smile is impossibly soft. He blinks rapidly, unutterably content to bask in the moment yet unwilling to lose a glimpse of this miracle.

Scully reads this on his face; and closes her eyes briefly, soaking in this precious, fleeting moment with Mulder.

CONCLUSION

Empedocles may not be over, but I think this is a good place to end, for now. Don't you?

Thanks for reading~

Enjoy!

[bird-in-the-space]

Echoes of the Unknown

You try to practice using your blaster arm, but then you, Emily, and the trio end up beneath the earth when an abandoned mine catches your attention. You find a ship and meet one of the most notorious Decepticons.

Warnings: you practicing shooting, falling through a sinkhole, Starscream talking about himself, and sneaking away right under his nose.

Chapter 14

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A sound of blaster fire echoed in the air as your shot blasted off the target rock. It flew off from the boulder, leaving a scorch mark and a trail of smoke. Emily whistled as she stood on the side with the trio, who wanted to come and see you train using your blaster. 

“Nice shot. Way to go (Name). You’re getting better,” she said. 

“Yeah, but it's still kinda difficult to handle the recoil,” you stated. 

“It depends on your feet and balance. With a firm stance, you won’t be blasted off. Now you need to learn to keep your arm steady,” Arcee guided. “But way to go. This time you actually managed to hit the target,” she said as there were many different blast marks around the boulder from your target practice. 

“For a rookie, you do learn fast,” she said as she walked over to the boulder put another rock on top of it. 

“Well, it’s mostly thanks to you. Thanks for helping me practice again, Arcee,” you said. 

“It’s no problem. It’s good for you to learn how to defend yourself in case you end up facing a con,” she said as she came back and stood beside you. 

“Now, try again,” she said. 

You aimed at the rock with your blaster, holding it steady with your other hand. You balanced your sight on the rock and with a calm breath, you prepared to shoot. 

A loud sound then echoed from the distance. You looked toward the way it came from. 

“Did you hear that?” you asked. 

“Yeah. It came from there,” Jack said as you all looked toward the way where the sound came from. 

You all walked up to a hill and noticed what seemed to be an old mine. The sound of the wind and something falling echoed from the mine entrance. You noticed warning signs that warned about sinkholes and unstable ground. However, it looked abandoned as there was no sign of people or mining equipment to indicate that it was an active mine. 

“I guess from the sounds that the mine is just echoing falling boulders,” you said, then your scanner showed something odd. 

“Hold on. I am getting a strange reading from there,” Arcee said as her scanner was also picking up the odd thing. 

“What is it?” you asked. 

“I don’t know…” she said, before turning toward you. “I’ll go check it out. It might be a possible false reading. Continue practicing,” she added. 

“Sounds good to me,” you nodded. 

“Aww! Can’t we come along?” Miko asked. 

“That warning is saying unstable earth. I’m afraid it's too dangerous for you to go there,” you explained, pointing at the several signs. 

“She’s right. It will be safer if I go check it on my own. There’s a high chance that there’s nothing down there,” Arcee said. “Do not think about following me,” she said strictly and Miko whined. 

“Alright. Stay safe,” you said as Arcee then walked into the mine. 

“I wonder what got this place shut down,” Jack said as you started making your way back to your practice place. 

“I checked this place out from the internet. Apparently, it got shut down due to the unstable structure and the digging of too many tunnels,” Raf answered. 

“After what happened last time I was in a mine, I am not very fond of going into another again,” you uttered. 

Something cracked beneath you. 

“Wait,” you said and you all stood still. 

The ground beneath you released cracking sounds. You began to feel nervous and wondered if you were causing the cracks. The sounds then suddenly stopped and it was quiet. You waited but nothing happened. 

“Phew. False alarm.” Emily said. 

At that moment, the ground beneath you suddenly cracked a big time and you felt how the ground sucked itself deeper into the earth. 

“We’re sinking! We’re sinking!” You all yelled when the ground finally failed and you all dropped from the surface. Luckily, you didn’t fall far. Right beneath you was another, much sturdier ground, which made your landing unpleasant. 

You fell on your feet and cleared up the dust. You looked through the sunny hole above you, seeing nothing but the clear blue sky.

Emily coughed. “Oh, come on. This is too cliche,” she said as she and the trio recovered from the fall. 

“Are any of you hurt?” you checked on them. 

“I’m fine. Just got some dust on my clothes,” Emily said as she dusted off the dirt from her jacket. 

Miko coughed. “I’m okay,” 

“Same here,” Raf said as Jack helped him up. 

You all stared at the hole that was too out of your reach.

“You think you could jump that?” Emily looked toward you. 

“I don’t think so. It also doesn’t look like I can climb it either,” you said as the ground did not look like it would hold your weight. 

“We should call Arcee,” Jack said. 

“Good idea. Arcee?” you opened the comlink. “Arcee, we fell into a sinkhole. Can you come to help us out?” you asked but only heard static. 

“Crap. I can’t get a hold of her. She might already be too deep beneath the earth to hear us or it's that strange reading from before,” you concluded.

“What should we do now?” Raf asked worriedly. 

“We could try finding the entrance by following this tunnel,” Emily pointed at the tunnel. “There is a high chance we end up finding another tunnel that will then lead us to the entrance,” she explained. 

“I don’t like this. If the ground fails beneath us again, then we might end up somewhere deeper with no way out,” you said, reluctant to follow the tunnel.  

“But it doesn’t seem we have much of a choice,” Jack stated. 

You sighed. “Well, seem like we’re gonna investigate underground tunnels after all,” you said. 

“Sweet. Let’s go then,” Miko said, taking the lead and running deeper into the tunnel. 

“Just make sure you stay near us, Miko. I’m not gonna come look for you if you get lost,” you said as you followed her into the tunnel. You could only hope you either find a way out or stumble upon Arcee.

Right after you left, a distant sound of a jet echoed from the sky. A silver jet transformed in the air and the bot chuckled when his scanners picked on the strange readings. “Now let's see what we have here,” he said as he entered the mine. 

The tunnels were dark. You used your car lights to light the way. Jack and Raf stayed close to you while Emily was behind Miko, who was excitedly checking out all the corners of the mine. 

“Cleveland!” she yelled and the ground shook beneath you. 

“Miko. You need to be quiet. This mine is unstable enough for the sounds to affect them,” you scolded. 

“Sorry,” she said in a much toner voice. 

You then arrived at the end of the tunnel that led you into a large cavern. 

“Wow,” you all said as the cavern was bigger than you imagined. It was perhaps bigger than the mine at Lynx Wood. 

You saw paths and tunnels, and when you noticed sunlight, you saw the entrance high above you. 

“Over there. If we walk up that path then we should be out in no time,” you pointed out. 

“Wait, is that a ship?” Emily pointed at something. 

In front of you stood a large ship, bigger than you. It looked old and corroded over time, but it was clearly a cybertronian ship. 

“How long has this been here?” Jack asked. 

“From my guess, it must be at least centuries old,” Raf stated. 

“Who cares? Let’s go check it out!” Miko said with a new type of adrenaline. 

“Miko. We should prioritize getting out of here. We don’t know what’s in there and Arcee might not like seeing us if she finds us there,” you explained. “I suspect this is the thing that caused those strange readings,” you added. 

“Most likely,” Raf said. 

“But what if there’s something valuable there? Like energon, or a cybertronian artifact? It would be a shame for the con to get their hands on that,” Miko said. 

You crossed your arms along with Emily. “Are you seriously trying to guilt trip us to go there just to sate your own curiosity?” you asked. 

“Yeah, that’s kinda foul,” Emily agreed. 

“Can we take a quick peek, please?” Miko pleaded. 

You glanced toward Emily and she shrugged her shoulders. “Okay. Just a quick peek. Any sign of danger and we’re out of here,” you said. 

“Sweet! Let’s go!” she said and ran toward the ship. 

“Woah. Are you sure about this?” Jack looked toward you. 

“Well, I’m a robot, so if there’s danger then we should be fine. If we’re lucky we might end up meeting Arcee on the way,” you explained as you all followed Miko to enter the ship. 

The inside of the ship was rusty. You had to push the doors open to pass through with Emily and the kids. You looked around as Emily and the kids used their phone lights. You were somewhat glad that the room was empty as it meant there was nothing important on the ship. 

“Well, this is the third room. There’s no energon or alien artifacts,” you said as the kids investigated the place. 

“Maybe the ship's old system is causing the disturbances,” Raf suggested. 

“Then I’m sure Arcee already has it handled,” you said. 

“We should get going,” you said. 

You then heard a sound. 

“What was that?” Emily questioned as you listened to the sounds. 

“They sound like footsteps,” You said as you approached the doorway. 

“Arcee?” Jack questioned as you looked into the corridor. You then quickly pulled back. 

“No. Not Arcee,” you said, stepping away from the door. 

“Who?” Jack asked as they all now panicked. 

“I don’t know. But I saw a Decepticon mark. You need to hide,” you said as the unknown bot got closer to your room. Emily and the trio quickly hid behind some boxes as the unknown bot pushed through the door. 

Miko gasped. “It’s Starscream,” she said. 

“Who?” You questioned, but she did not have time to answer when the unknown bot entered the room.

You stared at each other.

He had silver paint and a red thin horn in the middle of his head. You guessed he was a mech despite his sleek build and heels that kinda looked like stilettos. His wings reminded you of a jet, so you guessed he was a flyer or something. The thing that made you feel more dread was the Decepticon symbol on his chest. 

He looked at you confused, most likely because of your face. 

“Well, this is curious. What does a lone Vehicon like you are doing here?” he asked with a husky tone of voice.

“Ughh… “ you considered what to say. Your guts told you not to tell him anything. However, you could not stay quiet. Maybe you should play dumb.

“Looking for a safe place. Who are you?” you asked. 

He seemed stunned for a moment.

“You do not know me? That’s impossible. I am commander Starscream. All Vehicons should know my name,” he said. 

“Actually… I’m not exactly a Vehicon… sir,” you hesitated. 

“Hmm? What do you mean?” he asked curiously. 

You straightened your back. “Well, believe it or not. I’m actually a human inside the body of one,” you revealed. 

“What?” he tilted his head in confusion. 

“I encountered one of your kind before and found this strange artifact that made me switch bodies with these things. Please, sir. Do you know how to help me? I have been alone for a very long time,” you asked, hoping he would take the bait. 

His eyes were now filled with intrigue.

“Oh, really? What’s your name earthling?” he asked. 

“(Name), sir,” you answered. He had a hidden grin on his face. He seemed to like how you referred to him as a ‘sir.’

“Well, (Name). I say you’re in luck. Though I do not know much about your current condition if you follow me and become my loyal servant, I promise to keep you safe and well looked after by the Decepticons,” he said. 

You glanced toward the doorway and this con named ‘Starscream’.

“Oh, that’s very kind of you, Starscream, sir. However, what are Decepticons? Who are they, and what do they do?” you asked as you backed closer to the box, motioning with your hand behind your back for Emily and the trio to hide behind your foot. Emily understood what you meant and carefully they moved behind your leg while you moved toward the doorway while keeping your eyes on Starscream as he began rambling about Decepticons. 

“Of course. Decepticons are a faction of great warriors, meant to conquer and… protect the innocent from the cruelty of the Autobots. I was their lord for the time being, but then that position was taken from me by Megatron,” Starscream explained with a hidden snarl. 

“Megatron? Who’s that?” you played stupid, stopping when he was looking at you. 

“The most vicious and treacherous cybertronian you could ever meet,” Starscream continued, looking away and allowing you to continue moving toward the doorway. You tried to play along, but his yapping about overthrowing Megatron and becoming the lord of the Decepticons started to annoy you. 

Fucking hell, this guy loved to yap. 

“And… if I help you become the lord of the Decepticons again? What kind of plans do you hold for them and my planet?” you asked, trying to keep him talking. 

“Well, why of course, lead them to victory over the Autobots. Then I will reconquer my homeworld Cybertron and with all the resources—” his voice fell out as you reached the door. Emily and the kids sneaked out through the opening. You looked toward Starscream and carefully stepped out without alerting him. 

When you were out of the room, you transformed and opened your doors, letting Emily and the trio climb in before hitting the pedal.  

“And become the emperor of Cybertron!” Starscream said, then he heard the sound of your wheels becoming distant and saw you were no longer there. 

“Eh? Where did you go?” he questioned, baffled by your disappearance. 

You quickly got out of the ship and drove toward the entrance. 

“Way to go, (Name). You kept him distracted by keeping him yapping,” Miko said excitedly. 

“Yeah. that guy sure loved to yap,” you said as you exited the mine. 

You allowed the kids out before transforming. You soon reunited with Arcee who had come outside after hearing your static message. 

“(Name), kids, what happened? I came here when you tried to reach me through the comms,” she explained. 

“Well, as you can see, we got stuck in a sinkhole so we had to use the mine tunnels to get out,” you pointed at the sinkhole. 

“Did you see the ship down there?” you asked, pointing at the mine. 

“I did, but I didn’t have the time to investigate it,” Arcee nodded. 

“Well, don’t go down there anymore. There’s nothing except this guy named Starscream,” you explained. 

“Starscream! What happened? Did he hurt you?” she asked worriedly. 

“No. We’re fine. I distracted him long enough to get us out of there unharmed,” you assured. 

“Yeah, she kept him yapping so much that he didn’t even notice us,” Miko grinned. 

“Yeah, apparently, the best strategy to distract those who love talking is to keep them talking,” you shrugged.

Arcee sighed, her shoulder relaxing. “Well, I’m glad nothing happened. Let’s get back to base,” she said, calling out to Ratchet to open a ground bridge. You looked down toward Emily and the kids before shrugging. Compared to the other dangers you experienced, this was rather tame. 

[ihavemanyhusbands]

Lover's Spat

Will Graham x Hannibal Lecter x Fem!Reader

Summary: You had been the prized protege of the household for some time, but a sudden distance leaves you reeling. What happens when a junior killer feels neglected? Short answer: a bloody tantrum.

Word Count: 3.4k words

Warnings: DARK CONTENT, MINORS DNI, heavy angst and whump, graphic depictions of violence, graphic depictions of gore, DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT, non-sexual nudity, injuries, inebriation, use of sedatives, use of restraints, threats, mentions of blood, bit of a power imbalance yeah, corrupted reader, use of she/her pronouns, lmk if anything else!

A/N: Special thanks to @glitchedpup -- my muse and co-creator of this delightfully dark fic <3 i couldn’t have done it without you!! Pretty proud of this one! I shouldn't even have to say this but I DO NOT CONDONE ANY OF THE ACTIONS DEPICTED IN THIS FIC. IT IS NOT A REFLECTION OF MY OWN MORALS/VALUES. Don't like don't read, as usual.

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– “Decipher me, my love, or I will be forced to destroy you.”  Clarice Lispector, from “The Book of Delights”.

The room was a complete mess. 

Upturned furniture, slashed curtains, and deep gouges on various surfaces. Rorschach stains of crimson fury stained the walls and the once pristine white bed sheets. Bits of bone and flesh were haphazardly strewn about like broken puzzle pieces. 

There had clearly been quite the struggle — terror and brute strength versus agility and sheer animal determination. 

The mutilated corpse of a man was splayed atop the bed. His chest had been torn open, ribs smashed to pieces in order to access his tender insides. His eyes were closed and his hands had been crudely tied together, palms facing up – like a supplicant. His heart was cupped in them, with a paring knife driven straight through it.

A crime of passion, through and through. But the man himself was inconsequential, merely a vessel to convey a message.

At first, Will didn’t register anything amiss. There were a few small clues here and there that were familiar, like a trail of breadcrumbs left behind for only the most trained eye to find. His eye, more specifically.

They led him closer to the body, where he recognized the fine mother-of-pearl handle of the knife. Suddenly, he could barely hear the voices of those around him. Cold fear momentarily ran like sludge through his veins, but he kept his composure.

This was your design. 

He’d known you were under Hannibal’s tutelage, but it was uncharacteristic of you to be so rash and utterly careless. Not once before had you left a trace, but then again, you’d never worked outside of Hannibal’s house.

He’d thought you’d mastered clinical detachment, but this scene was tainted with ire and resentment. It permeated the air like a poisonous gas, roiling in his lungs and threatening to choke him.

“Will?” Jack said, getting his attention. “Any motive you can think of?”

Shaking off the last of his visions, Will took a small fortifying breath and glanced back at him over his shoulder.

“None as of yet.” 

Will knew there’d be many components to cleaning up this mess. Not only would he have to get the police far off your trail, but he also had to find you. He called Hannibal to inquire about your whereabouts, but he confirmed you were not home. He tried to get ahold of you too, but of course, there was no response.

Once he could disentangle himself from Jack and the crime scene crew – trying to keep his hands from shaking – he racked his brain for all the possible places you could be in. He knew you liked going on long walks, but you preferred to stay away from densely populated areas unless strictly necessary. The woods were too broad a place to search, and there was no way you had made it all the way to Wolf Trap on foot.

Then, he remembered the old apartment you’d lived in before he and Hannibal took you in. It was a shoddy building on the outskirts of town, which he was pretty sure had been foreclosed for a while. Still, it was the only other place you had, really. So he made his way there.

There, he spotted a hole in the chain link fence surrounding the building. He ignored the No Trespassing sign, much like he figured you had, and maneuvered himself through the gap. He made his way up to the third floor, where your unit was, and heard murmurs behind the door.

He found you half naked and rambling, still caked in blood and viscera. In one hand, you were tightly clutching a large kitchen knife, a ribbon of fabric clinging to it. Much of your clothes were in tatters, ripped apart like you’d been desperate to get them off of yourself.

In your other hand, you had an unlabelled bottle of what he assumed was cheap vodka or gin. You were swaying a little in place, clearly inebriated. You held it to your swollen cheekbone, as if the tepid glass could soothe it.

A dark bruise bloomed up the right side of your ribcage, and your breaths were shallow and slow. On the other side, near your belly button, you had a poorly dressed wound, the fabric soaked in dark, shiny crimson. His eyes lingered on this detail for a moment, but his face did not betray the concern he felt.

It was a clear admission of guilt, but he wanted to hear you confess your sins out loud. 

“What did you do?” He asked, keeping his voice low and even.

You lifted your head and looked at him without really seeing him. Your gaze was flat and unforgiving, almost unrecognizable. A small blood vessel had burst in your left eye, leaving a red splotch in the sclera. Your muscles tensed and your nostrils flared when you registered him as an intruder.

His hand was close to his waist, where his gun was holstered, in case he’d need to draw it.

“I took him for one last waltz, carried him in my arms as the saccharine wine of his blood spilled over us.” You closed your eyes for a moment, as if reliving it. “He adored me deliriously with his last breaths. I saw it in his eyes.”

Will took a step forward, causing a floorboard to creak, and your eyes snapped open. You slashed the knife in a wide arc, silently warning him to stay back. Your eyes were wild and unfocused, much too dark in the low light. 

You swung sideways just as fast, the blade barely missing his midsection. He quickly drew back at your third frantic attempt, and you stumbled forward a little. Despite your skills and abundant bravado, both the drunkenness and the pain made you clumsy. You winced, but did not back down, still in a fighting stance.

He pulled out his gun and pointed it at your shoulder, which made you freeze.

“Hannibal’s going to be pissed if I shoot you,” he said, unfazed by your display. “Put the knife down before you get hurt.”

“You don’t have the guts to hurt me, Graham,” you sneered.

“Try me.”

For a long, tense moment, the two of you stared at each other. It was clear that neither of you actually wanted to hurt the other, but your pride wasn’t going to let you go down so easily. 

And you knew that he wouldn’t hesitate if it came down to it, especially for your own good.

“He knows, then?” You asked, still unmoving.

Will simply nodded, and for a brief second, you considered angling the knife towards yourself. You started to adjust your grip on it, and he took the opportunity to lunge forward and knock it out of your hand. It clattered loudly on the floor, and he kicked it away, grabbing your wrist.

“You’re in deep trouble, you know that?” He said, grip tightening. “What if they hadn’t called me? You left evidence everywhere! Do you know how hard it was to hide all that without getting caught? Reckless! Very reckless!”

You tried to struggle out of his grip, and he knocked the bottle out of your grasp, which shattered on the floor. As you lifted your hand to strike him, he grabbed it, now holding both of your wrists.

“Don’t touch me! You don’t get to touch me!” You spat, still thrashing.

“Oh, I beg to differ. But I’m not going to be the one to punish you,” he said, forcefully turning you around and cuffing your hands behind your back. “Now, let’s go.”

He took his jacket off and draped it over your shoulders before ushering you out of the building. He had to steady you as you stumbled about, still furious and not entirely lucid. Even the familiar scent of him enveloping you did nothing to calm you.

He wrestled you into the back seat and made sure you wouldn’t be able to unlock the doors from the inside. For the time being, you resigned to lying on your side, slightly easing the discomfort of your shoulder blades being pinned together.

“Where are we going?” You asked as he started the engine.

“Home,” he said, glancing at you from the rearview mirror. “As you know, we’re expected.”

The drive there was torturous. Every turn made your head spin, the world outside the window swirling into a dizzying whirlpool of colors. You closed your eyes and tried to focus on your breathing, keeping down the bile that threatened to crawl up your throat. You stained the fabric of the seat, since the wound on your side had torn just a little further open.

All of the events of the past forty-eight hours were still shoved to the periphery of your mind, but you knew you couldn’t keep a blind eye to your sins forever. Eventually, they would come at you like a raging river, consuming you.

Will pulled into Hannibal’s driveway just after sundown, and a sense of foreboding made your stomach bottom out. Once, the house was a safe haven; A place you finally felt welcome in, despite the fact its walls had witnessed your flaws. 

But at that moment, with death hovering at the threshold, it felt like you were heading to the gallows.

As he marched you inside, your knees almost buckled. You gritted your teeth and raised your chin, angry at yourself for displaying any sort of weakness. You were still a little lightheaded and disoriented from the drive, so you had to try even harder to focus on putting one foot in front of the other.

The two of you found Hannibal in the living room, sitting by the hearth and staring at the fire within. He said nothing as he looked up, his eyes skirting over you and landing on Will, who held your arm.

In the flickering light, the harsh planes of his face spelled out your fate. You almost expected to hear a gavel pounding before the sentence was carried out… whatever it was.

“Take her downstairs,” he instructed, his tone almost bored. “And leave her there. Repentance always begins with solitude.”

His coldness stung, fueling your resentment, but it did not necessarily surprise you. Still, you tried to catch his eye, but it was no use. He returned his gaze to the fire, and Will dragged you along to the basement.

You were compliant as he led you down the metallic staircase and past a plastic strip curtain, but your eyes were fixed on the various tools against one of the walls. A pang of dread made your heart stutter as you wondered which ones might be used on you.

It was then that you tried to fight back again, desperately this time, survival instincts kicking into overdrive. Without the use of your hands, you resorted to twisting your body and attempting to bite.

He struggled against you, trying to immobilize you in his arms. You managed to get a hold of one of his forearms when it got a little too close to your face, sinking your teeth into it. He growled as you broke the skin, a metallic taste filling your mouth. When he was able to pull you away by the hair, you licked his blood from your teeth.

Instantly, you were backhanded across the face. The entire left side lit up with white-hot pain, and he grabbed you by the throat, pulling you towards the tools.

“You just don’t know when to quit, do you?” He admonished as he clasped your collar around your neck. “You know I’m gonna have to muzzle you for that, right?”

He made you kneel, attaching a chain that was against the far wall to your collar. The muzzle followed right after, a layer of leather covering your mouth. 

You glared up at him as he inspected the bite on his forearm, which was still pulsing with bright pain. You felt some satisfaction at having gotten him at least a little, even if it’d potentially make things worse. If you were going to go out, you would do so fighting.

Hopefully, Hannibal would at least be able to appreciate that.

Will left you there without a parting word, instead giving you one last disgruntled look. Once he was up the stairs, you sagged in place. It wasn’t your first time being disciplined, but you knew this was different. A line had been crossed that you weren’t sure you could ever come back from, but you feared what awaited you on the other side.

The basement was dry and cool, slightly soothing your feverish skin. Your head swam once more as adrenaline began to fade from your system. You were sobering up, too, and that was the only way you could tell time was passing.

There, by yourself, you only had your thoughts to torment you, filling in the silence with a buzz like the swarming of bees.

Good things are so slippery, aren’t they?  Happiness becomes complacency, and thus monotony. Pleasure wanes quickly, and tragedy seldom waits to make itself known.

And what, then, if you are the harbinger of your own tragedy?

You rested your head against the brick wall, the blue darkness of your eyelids providing some comfort. 

After what seemed like an eternity, you heard footsteps descending the metal staircase. You opened your eyes to see Hannibal, his expression still impassive.

He knelt in front of you, undoing the straps of the muzzle. You eyed him warily, but remained unmoving. The barest ghost of a smile was on his face as he saw the crusted blood on the corners of your lips. He’d patched up Will’s arm already, skin mottled purple and red with your molar imprints. He only wished he could have seen you in action.

In his hand, there was a familiar white capsule – one you recognized from his lessons.

“Open,” he ordered. 

You clenched your jaw, turning your face away. 

"You will either open your mouth and take the medication, or I can simply dislocate your jaw and force you to take it... The choice is yours.”

Begrudgingly, you did as told, opening your mouth and sticking your tongue out. You swallowed the pill dry, grimacing slightly. 

“It should, at the very least, quell that sharp tongue of yours. Or perhaps it’ll only encourage it. We shall see,” he mused, looking you over. “I’ll undo the other restraints when that takes effect.”

“I’m no threat to you,” you murmured.

“Indeed. You are not.”

Still, he made no move to free you, making his point clear. He stood, walking over to the tool wall and wheeling out a metal examination table. Two trays followed right after, and you swallowed hard at the realization that he was setting up for what came next. 

"Now, darling, I have been a psychiatrist for many years... I know we can break that defiant streak of yours. The question is how many more bones will have to go with it?"

He gestured towards your ribcage, and you felt a sudden urge to hide your injuries. All the evidence of what you’d done – the irreparable mess you had gotten yourself into. You ought to beg, to grovel and weep at his feet to spare your life. But you would do no such thing, if only for the sake of keeping whatever dignity you had left.

The world began to blur at the edges, like a frosted window during the winter. The maelstrom of emotions that had been brewing inside of you began to evaporate with your exhales, giving way to a blissful nothingness. You watched him wash his hands thoroughly, donning latex gloves.

Once your body was loose and your mind was like a forest of thick fog, Hannibal undid your bindings and carefully scooped you into his arms. Your head lolled against his chest, and you swore you could hear his heartbeat like a loud thunder in your ears. You wanted to cling to him tighter, but you couldn’t find your strength.

“I missed the way you tenderized me,” you rasped, voice weak and breathy. “Soft and pliant flesh for your hands to mold. Didn’t you love me best then?”

“An artist’s job is never quite finished,” he said. “There is love in destruction, too.” 

Will descended the stairs as Hannibal was laying you down on the examination table. He used trauma shears to cut what remained of your clothes off, intent on examining every inch of you for the extent of your wounds.

The lights overhead framed their heads like halos, sanctifying them. Shouldn’t your hands be folded in prayer? Your knees on the cool stone floor?

For a moment, you wondered if you’d already died. Soon enough, you supposed.

“Jack’s taken care of. At least for now,” Will’s voice sounded far away as he spoke to Hannibal, who nodded in acknowledgment.

You focused on him, glancing at his bandaged arm. “I’m not sorry for biting you.”

He huffed in bitter amusement. “I know you’re not.”

“Just a little gift for you to remember me by.”

“Why don’t you tell us what’s troubling you?” Hannibal chimed in, listening to you hiss a little through your teeth as he cleaned up some of your scrapes. 

“Does it matter?”

“Yes,” Will said. “You left us a very pointed message. Can’t imagine all that mayhem wasn’t inspired by something.”

“You’re the goddamn empath. Why don’t you tell me?” You hissed, still feeling particularly prickly with him.

Hannibal tsked in disapproval, fingers barely tracing your ribcage — a silent warning more than an assessment. Unable to help it, you let out the softest whimper, on edge at the prospect of more agony.

You weren’t entirely surprised that they were ignorant of your rage. They were too preoccupied with other matters to notice. It had been a gradual process, in which they spent more and more time away, leaving you to your own devices. The more tedious tasks were left to you, all of which you could perform almost automatically. It made everything dull at first, but whenever your thoughts would wander to their whereabouts, resentment steadily grew like a thorny bramble in your chest.

But you were quiet in your seething. You tried to remain obedient and useful, in hopes that they would just see how indispensable you were. Anger had always been a reliable companion, especially in moments of fear or weakness, but it was a dangerous fire to stoke. And stoked it was.

Until one day, you couldn’t bear the weight of it all anymore. And this was where it led you.

“I have needs, too, you know,” you began, your words slow and slurred. “Not just carnal. I wanted frenzy and fury, a pain that only you could give and take away. You said destruction is another form of love, but I felt merely endured. An afterthought.”

The two of them shared a look, finally understanding the extent of their negligence. A stray tear escaped your lash line, and Will reached down to brush it away with one of his knuckles. 

“‘These violent delights have violent ends, and in their triumph die like fire and powder, which as they kiss consume.’” Hannibal recited.

“And quite a fire it was,” Will murmured.

“Would you kiss me before it’s over, then?” You pleaded. “One last time?”

“Last time?” He repeated, frowning in confusion. 

“I know what happens next, Will,” the words left you with a ragged sort of exhale, defeated. “An errant flame must be snuffed out for its destruction. I am at your mercy.”

Hannibal removed the piece of cloth from your side, exposing where you’d been stabbed. He noticed the weapon was still buried inside, so he went to retrieve some long, thin surgical tweezers.

"And mercy you shall be granted, just this once. Your fire will not be extinguished tonight, we’ve worked much too hard to keep it kindled. Though discipline should douse that raging inferno considerably,” he leaned in close, so that you were eye to eye. “Did you have enough?”

You managed a small grin. “Never.”

He couldn’t help but smile back. “Atta girl.”

Will glared at him. “But it will not happen again. Our fondness for you is a weakness, despite our faults, forgiveness is not a mistake we will commit twice.”

“The scars shall serve as a reminder. But not to worry, we’ll keep a closer eye on you,” Hannibal reassured. “We are sorry too, isn’t that right, Will?” 

Will merely nodded, reaching down to place his hand on your shoulder affectionately, fingers brushing your clavicle. 

Hannibal straightened to his full height once more, the metal tweezers in his grip glinting in the light. “This is gonna hurt, darling.”

You nodded, ready to sink into delirium. “Bring it on.”

---

[wambsgansshoelaces]

hiiii can you write one where reader is always serving as a waitress at the waystar parties and become fuck buddies with shiv but when shiv catch feelings when they're several months later doing this she finds out that reader is a single mom (she has a daughter) and they have a huge fight and "breakup". I need all the drama that comes with it 🙏 ik with shiv being a mess and being mean as hell things will escalate quickly 😂

-🫀

Mind, Body, Soul

Siobhan Roy x single mom!Reader

Oneshot

Summary: what originally was purely physical takes becomes something better.

okay anon I had to change your plot a bit to make everything work but I really hope I pulled through this time!! Idk why I’m not too sure about this one, I just feel like it’s one of my sloppier works. Regardless, I hope you enjoy x, thank you so much for your request, I love you <3

Word Count: 2.987k

Life was unpredictable.

That’s how you’d ended up with your daughter. You love her to bits, and she’s absolutely your world, but she wasn’t exactly planned. Because of that, her father had exited your life as soon as he’d entered it. You didn’t feel too bad about it; the way you saw it, you’d dodged a massive bullet.

She’s four now, and finally able to go to daycare without issue. You finally have more time to yourself. Thankfully, your job wasn’t that demanding, but it paid you well. You were content with what you had. Your daughter, a good job. You feel like you don’t really need anything else.

You’ve been single for a really, really long time. After your last heartbreak, you weren’t exactly out and about, seeking anything out. Deep down, you craved something real. Something actually substantial; that feeling that you’re with the one.

You’d met her at a work dinner. She radiated opulence, something that usually repelled you. Not this time. Maybe it was something else about her. Something in your subconscious, the work of an alternate universe, just something pulling the two of you together.

She’d sidled up to you, sly smile spread on her face.

The rest was history.

Rather to your disappointment, she’d kept you after your first time together and told you you were strictly fuck buddies. Nothing more. Despite being let down, you thought it best.

Time passed. You started off slow, seeing each other every so often. Then, you’d see her whenever physically possible. Not just to enjoy yourselves, but you spend time with each other. You found yourselves curled together, cuddling on the couch while she went through emails.

She’d admitted that she’d just come out of a messy relationship, much like you. You find that you’re both extremely similar; you’re both driven, ambitious. You feel at home with her. You feel so relaxed. You hope she feels the same, but you know she doesn’t. You’re strictly a fling to her- nothing more.

At least, you thought so.

You have one of these conversations when you’re sprawled out on her couch, her leaning against the doorway to her bedroom.

“Listen,” she begins, arms crossed over her chest.

“What is it, Siobhan?” you ask, smirk playing on your lips. She huffs, a cute pout developing on her face. “Ants in your pants?”

“What… What does that even mean? Never mind that. Fucking weirdo,” she mutters, before continuing. “I just want to make something clear. You and I aren’t an item. I’m free to see other people, same as you. No hard feelings or anything. I’m just living, you know?”

You shrug. “We’ve had this conversation before.” From your perspective, it looks like she’s trying to put distance between the two of you. “If you don’t want to see me anymore, just say so. Like you keep saying, no hard feelings.”

Shiv’s nose wrinkles. “What? No, I still want to see you. You’re the best sex I’ve ever had.”

You laugh. “I’m strictly pleasure, huh?”

She opens her mouth to say something, then presses her lips together. “Yeah, you are.”

You roll your eyes. “Whatever you say.” You push yourself into an upright position. “You know you like me more than that.”

Shiv turns away from you, flipping you off over her shoulder.

One night, your daughter’s staying the night with a relative. You go to see Shiv, and to your surprise, she invited you to stay the night.

You’re curled together in bed, rather domestically, you think, her head tucked into the crook of your neck. She lightly presses kisses along your skin, leaving spots wet and red. Not that you minded at all.

“We should do something tomorrow,” she mumurs to you.

“Like what? Fuck again?” you ask, feeling her fingers trace up your hip, up your side.

“I dunno. Maybe. But something else. Something fun. I need a break from work, and I want good company.”

“What happened to strictly pleasure?” you tease, shifting so that she’s draped on top of you.

“Nothing,” she mumbles. “We can still have fun outside of fucking.”

“Tomorrow?”

“Mhm,” she hums into your neck, leg coming around your waist. Bare skin on bare skin- you feel like you’re in heaven. Your hand finds her ass, helping her adjust and get comfortably. You also can’t stop yourself from giving it a small squeeze, eliciting a rare giggle from Shiv.

“Can’t. My girl has a birthday party tomorrow. It’s a whole fucking dusk-til-dawn ordeal.”

Abruptly, she sits up, squinting at you.

“You’re seeing someone else?” she asks incredulously, brow furrowing.

“What? No, my daughter. Didn’t I tell you?”

She pulls herself off of you completely. “A daughter? Like, a human child?”

You nod slowly. “She’s four.”

“You didn’t fucking tell me that!”

Now you’re also sitting up. “What, is that going to change things?”

Shiv slides off the bed, pulling a robe on. “Yes, it changes things!”

You scoff. “Does it really?”

“You kept something so massive from me! How can I keep seeing you? What else would you be hiding?”

“You’re serious? You’re being serious?” When she gives no response, making her way into the bathroom, you pull your previously strewn clothes on from off the floor. “What’s your fucking deal? You do nothing but insist you can never see me than more than sex, so what’s the problem?” you shout bitterly.

“Fuck off!” is the only response.

You let her do whatever it is she’s doing in the bathroom and gather your things. She’s being ridiculous, and any sort of feelings you’d caught for her are painfully ripped from your chest. You call an Uber, and before you know it, you’re back home.

You’re angry, confused, upset.

Your phone pings with a message.

where’d you go?

fucked off, like you asked.

wtf?

why wouldn’t you tell me something like that?

i thought i did

besides, what’s it matter to you? you want nothing to do with me outside of being your fuck buddy

that’s not something you keep from people

you’re being fucking insane

Shiv doesn’t respond to you after.

You can’t harp on it for long. You have shit to do. Your daughter gets dropped off the next morning, and you greet her with a kiss and a hug. When you smile at her over the counter while you scramble eggs, she frowns.

She sees the smile doesn’t reach your eyes.

“Why’s Mommy sad?” She rests her head on her little hands, glancing up at you, doe eyes soft and concerned.

“Oh, nothing.”

Her frown deepens. “Why won’t you tell me? I want to help Mommy.”

You sigh, scraping eggs into her tiny bowl before setting it in front of her with a fork. She begins eating, cautious to chew with her mouth close like you so often remind her. “Well,” you say carefully, “Mommy’s having issues with a friend.”

“Is It making you sad?” she asks around a mouthful of egg.

“Chew with your mouth shut, you little piggy,” you say playfully, reaching over to pinch her cheek. “And it does,” you add a moment later, rather deflated.

Your daughter wriggles out of her chair, small feet pattering against your hardwood floors as she rounds the counter to wrap your arms around you where she could reach. Your hand immediately goes to her head and strokes gently, and you can’t help but smile.

“It’s sad when my friends don’t want to play. I’ll play with you instead!”

You lean down to plant a kiss on her hairline. “Thank you, cutie. You’re such a sweet girl.” She grins up at you, arms stretching up above her head. Getting the point, you stoop over and hoist her up into your arms, her giggling all the while.

𖥔 ݁ ˖

Siobhan Roy could only take two days away from you. To be clear, you’d never actually had her over at your place. It just felt inappropriate, what with your daughter and all.

She does, however, know where you work.

You can’t remember how it came up in conversation, but it did, and you were sure it did because she was standing outside your office, hands clasped behind her back. You wave her in, trying to not let anything show on your face.

Wordlessly, she sets a square, velvet box onto your desk in front of you.

“I remember you talking about how your favorite bracelet broke,” Shiv says quietly, almost ashamed. “It’s not the same, but it’s something.”

Hesitantly, you reach for the box and thumb off the lid. The bracelet is gorgeous- she’s noticed which metal you wore and got you an awfully expensive, much nicer, much more durable version of the bracelet you’d accidentally snapped when it snagged on a zipper of your daughter’s clothing.

“What’s this for?” you ask nonchalantly. You don’t plan on accepting it after the pointless argument you’d had. She’d made it painfully clear that the two of you would never actually be anything serious. Any reminder of her just made your chest hurt. It’s a deep rooted issue of yours, and you know it. You’d been so agonizingly lonely all your life. You yearned for connection, something real, something pure. Everything you tried, every relationship attempted, it all ended the exact same way. They found someone better, they discarded you, you went back home broken hearted.

“Um, for you.”

“Mm.” You’re not really paying attention, but you catch her shutting the blind to the door in your periphery. You’ve never really seen her like this before, all jittery and nervous. She sits in one of the chairs facing your desk and folds her hands into her lap. “Can I help?” you ask stiffly.

“You’re fucking gorgeous,” she blurts, pausing before she continues. “I really, really want you. Not just physically. Fuck, that’s not what this is about. I’m sorry that that’s what we keep making this about.”

“What you keep making this about,” you correct, leaning back into your chair. She bites back a retort, you can tell. “Sorry. Can’t help it.”

Shiv takes a steadying breath, and for a moment, you feel a bit bad for pushing her buttons. “I… I want to commit. To you.”

“Where’d this come from?”

Her gaze flickers from you to her lap then back to you again. “I don’t… I don’t know. It’s just, some nights you’d leave, and I wouldn’t feel detached. I’d miss you. I do miss you. You… you make everything around me better, you make it brighter.” She looks back down, fiddling with her own fingers. “I was just too stupid and self absorbed to see it. And scared. Fucking horrified.”

You don’t know what to say for a while. “You’re suspiciously self-aware,” you say hoarsely, not quite believing what you’d heard.

She can tell. “I’m so fucking serious. I’m past the point of just wanting you for your body.”

You reach back for the box, feeling up the delicate bracelet. “So how do you want to do this? We have shit to sort out if we want this to work,” you reply.

Shiv shrugs. “Just let me try.”

“If we do this, I want you to take this seriously,” you say lowly. “I won’t fucking stand for it if I catch you still going out with other people. If we’re together, we’re together.”

She laughs, an airy, mirthless sound. “I stopped seeing other people the fourth time you came over. I’m yours, already. Mind, body, soul. I can’t stop thinking about you. You’re just so..,” she trails off, gesturing vaguely at you.

“Can I ask you something?”

She looks up at you attentively. “Always. I’m an open book.”

“Why’d you overreact?”

She pauses. “I don’t think I did.”

You sigh. “Nothing’s going to work if you keep going like that.”

“You didn’t tell me,” she insists. “That’s something important.”

“Siobhan, I was under the impression I was just a good fuck. Regardless of if I told you or not, what would that have changed?”

She chews on the inside of her cheek, averting her eyes. She takes a moment to think. “I think I was too in my head,” she admits. “In my head, we’re already the cutest girlfriends. And then you tack on your daughter, and I don’t want to just… ignore her, you know? I guess it was just, you know, reality hitting me. And me realizing that I didn’t really care that you have a kid. I want… I want to be with you, to help with her.”

You can feel the heat rushing to your face, your gaze locked with hers. “I… I don’t know what to say. That’s… a lot, Shiv.”

“Just… promise you’ll think about it?” she asks, uncharacteristically nervous.

You shake your head. “No, no. I already know what I want.”

Abruptly, you push yourself up from your chair and quickly round the desk. You brace your knee on the cushion of Shiv’s chair, right by her thigh, and take her jaw and crash your lips against hers. It’s your first real kiss, one not just thrown around during sex, and it’s rough, needy.

She responds the minute your mouths connect, kissing you back with an equal fervor. You deepen the kiss, your other hand fluttering to her chin to tip her head back. She makes a happy, contented noise, lips working against yours. Her hands are braced on your torso, just above your hips. Her fingers scrabble for purchase on the fabric of your clothing.

When she pulls away, her lips are slightly puffed up. Yours probably look the same, and you can’t help but smile at the thought. Shiv’s hands drift down to your waist, letting her fingers trace mindless patterns into your skin.

“You’re very pretty,” she murmurs up to you. “Especially when you’re all worked up like this.”

Your smile splits into a grin and you push off her chair. “Asshole.”

“What did I say?” she exclaims, expression matching yours. “I was just praising my sweet, gorgeous girl.”

“I never agreed to you calling me that,” you point out, going to perch on the edge of your desk. Her face falls, and you scramble to recover. “I’m just saying,” you amend quickly, “that I want you to ask me. For real.”

Shiv gets out of her seat, trapping you where you sit, planting her hands on either side of yours and keeping her eyes focused on yours. “Will you be my girlfriend? Can I be your girlfriend?”

“On one condition,” you say, smile playing on your lips.

She fakes a pout, her face only inches away from yours. You lean forward, brushing your lips against hers. “No silly shit.”

“Of course not.” She lets out a breath, and you can feel it stutter along your skin. “I’m all for you. I don’t know what it is, I just know I’m all fucking yours.”

𖥔 ݁ ˖

Life is easy after you and Shiv get together.

Your ridiculous fight is forgotten, and she’s the most perfect, most attentive lover. The first half-year is a dream. She brings you gifts, invites you over if your daughter is with other family, texts you day in and day out. When she’s not working, she’s pacing your office, talking your ear off about a show she’d begrudgingly watched without you, catching you up to speed so you could watch together the minute you could.

As time continues to leak away from you, the flowers and jewelry keep arriving to your doorstep. She adores spoiling you rotten- she never lets you say anything about it.

But then, the gifts start coming in pairs. One for you, one for your daughter.

A toy kitchenette, a play vanity, princess dresses and heels, play makeup. Shiv hasn’t met her yet, but it doesn’t stop her. As you near and suddenly pass your one year anniversary, you realize you’re so head over heels for Siobhan and you see no future without her in it.

For the first time in your relationship, you bring her home with you.

She hovers behind you as you unlock the door. “What happens if she doesn’t like me?” she asks nervously, voice barely below a whisper.

“Baby, once she realizes you’re the one pay rolling her fantasy Barbie world, she’d kill me in exchange for you.” Before you open the door, you look over your shoulder at her. “Besides, she’d love you regardless.”

Since your daughter is five now, she’s finally started school. It hurt you physically watching her grow and having her leave every day. Shiv had been by your side every single day, wiping away your tears and helping with errands even though you were perfectly capable.

“The bus comes at one?” she asks, following you inside.

You hum your yes, going to make your daughter her afternoon snack as Shiv tentatively sits on the couch, crossing her socked feet under her.

Before you know it, the place is filled with both their giggles as Siobhan Roy whirls your daughter around as if she were an airplane.

𖥔 ݁ ˖

You watch as Shiv sits, cross legged, threading flowers into your daughter’s hair. “You’ll be the prettiest flower girl to walk the aisle,” she murmurs, eliciting a giddy laugh from your daughter.

You’d both forgone the entire first look thing. You want to get ready together, spend time together. It felt more intimate, it brought you even closer together. Once your daughter’s hair was done and she’d ran out of the bridal suite, gone out to play, Shiv comes over to you, silk robe clinging to her body.

“I know I’m not supposed to give you this yet,” she says, turning a beautiful, dainty ring with her fingers. “But I wanted to show you it. I’m just so proud.”

She takes your hand, stroking your knuckles, and holds the ring so you can see an engravement on it’s inner part.

Mind, body, soul.

[merbear25]

Lingering fantasies

You've caught the eye of a highly skilled fighter. Having admired you from afar, you'd made such a strong impression that she wasn't even able to free herself from your grasp while in her dreams.

Tashigi and Reiju

CW: SFW, suggestive dream, gn!reader, fluff

Tashigi: She'd been aware of your affect on her for quite some time which lead her to keeping her distance and seeing you strictly for work purposes. However, that wasn't going to stop her desires from running rampent. Her subconscious unleashed all of her repressed need for you out that night; in one fell swoop, all of the progress she thought she'd made with ridding herself of your allure were wiped out along with the rest of that night's rest.

Waking up after the hight of it all, she stretched out before recalling the dream she'd just had: shooting up in bed and gasping loudly nearly startling herself from her own abrupt shriek. Holding her flushed face in her palms, she wondered how she'd be able to have that day's meeting with you.

How can I face them after that? Asking herself this question did the opposite of what she'd intended: flooding her imagination with not only the scenes from her dream, but also new possibilities that could be within reach if she so chose.

When arriving at your meetup point, she paced about the room in hopes of devising some strategy for whenever you entered through those doors. Then, a plan B was quick to follow, but as she was in the midst of compiling plan C, the door opened. Seeing you threw all those plans out the window, letting the wind carry them out to sea.

Reiju: It wasn't hard for her to understand why she fancied you: you were honorable, determind, true to yourself, and above all else, you were genuine. Watching how you interacted with others, whether or not you shared their beliefs, you always did what you thought was best for everyone. Drifting off to sleep came easy that night: seeing you in her dreams was a wonderful surprise. You acted just as you did outside of this version of you, but hearing you tell her you wanted and needed her made the dream take an sudden turn.

Opening her eyes, she couldn't help smiling to herself, yet it saddened her to an extent; knowing you weren't there when she turned over in bed brought all her own feelings for you to the surface. Mulling over how she should go about these newfound longings, she understood it may be for the best if she were to ignore them—mixing you up any further with her family would only cause trouble.

Upon seeing you again, supressing the want to be with you was proving to be easier said than done. It wouldn't be fair to you to fall in love with her. Having convinced herself of this that morning, she was still finding it trying to deny herself happiness.

Unable to focus on the conversation at hand, she was pulled back to reality by your gentle question, "Is everything alright?" Assuring you that she'd just had a rough time sleeping, the pain of keeping the truth from you was becoming unbearable.

"Y/n, I have to tell you something."

[peterparkouryo]

consuming devotion | ੈ♡˳

prompt: You can't help but love Peter, even if he doesn't reciprocate your feelings

warnings: heavy angst, heartbreak, sweet sweet unrequited love and one sided pining (obv)

word count: 1.5k

"I'm left wondering why the stars align, but your heart doesn't seem to find a place for mine."

a/n: it’s sorta unfinished but not rlly? also who’s excited for rebound four?? ;) (edited: it’s unfinished but there’s like a sort of part 2 that’s connected and i’m working on it)

ੈ♡˳

There's something so beautiful, yet so so painful about being in love. On one hand, you have these intense emotions that are so heartwarming, joyful, happiness and you're content with being around the person you love. On the other hand, your mind is a battleground of emotions. You're plagued by self-doubt, wondering if you're good enough, if you're worthy of their love. You question whether they truly care for you, or if you're just imaging things. You're torn between revealing your feelings, or risking heartbreak.

That's the thing, you have felt every emotion of being in love that there is. The truth is, it sucks.

The distance between you and Peter feels like an insurmountable chasm. Time seems to drag on, and you always, always ache for his presence.

You know there's a mutual understanding that he only sees you as a friend, he has said it on multiple occasions, and thankfully you weren't stupid enough to actually admit to being hopelessly in love with the boy.

You're not entirely sure if he is aware of your affection for him, and you surely doubt that he is, considering its, well, Peter.

What you do know, that you are positively sure of, is that you've probably loved Peter for the better half of your life. There were countless times that proved it too, such as the movie nights, the boy offering to help you with your dreadful homework, walking you home after school, and pretty much anything else that made a vulnerable warmth settle in your heart.

After that realization, you became hyper-aware of every little detail about Peter - his likes, his dislikes hobbies and interests. You hung onto every word he ever said, dissecting his actions for hidden meanings. You started craving his attention and validation, yet you feared the vulnerability the came to revealing your true feelings.

You always had a mix of emotions all at once, sadness, frustration, and sometimes even jealousy. You alway questioned yourself, wondering what could possibly be wrong with you, why you weren't enough for him. It's a battle between your heart and mind, trying to rationalize your while your heart keeps yearning for the unattainable.

Peter's heart was truly pure gold, always thinking of others before himself, helping out whenever he could, he was perfect. And no matter what he did, you still loved him.

Even if he continuously rejected your feelings. 

You both knew he wasn't exactly doing it on purpose, he's told you countless times that he only strictly saw you as a friend and nothing more, but like the stubborn person you were, you ignored those words and lived in this pathetic delusion that you'd actually have a chance with him.

Finding yourself caught in a constant cycle of hope and despair, wavering between moments of elation whenever he showed you kindness or affection, and moments of heart-wrenching despair when he seemed distant or unresponsive, which wasn't an uncommon thing. You always, despite already knowing where the boy stood, tried to decipher he feelings, to find hidden signs that he might just feel the same way, but the uncertainty gnaws at your sanity.

"Party, my place, tonight." A voice interrupts your quiet studying, the girl plopping her lunch tray down on the rectangular table quite harshly, the action gaining your morbid attention.

"I don't know, last time I went to one of your parties, I had to clean up after you." You point out, paying close attention to the way Liz's smiles slowly turns into a frown.

"Well, this party is different, and it's not like I made you do that." She argues, shaking her head with an eye roll.

Liz has been your best friend since you both could ride a bike. She's been your better half for as long as you can remember, knowing everything about you and vice versa. The transition from middle schoolers into high school was tough to say the least, puberty doing its job for her, and you....not so much. So it was not a shocking factor that the girl quickly became popular.

Yet, despite her social status, she always stuck to you like glue, and you couldn't be more thankful for that.

You give her a unsure glance, before turning back to your textbook.

"Peter'll be there."

You swear you thought you were subtle when your head practically snaps up at your friend's sentence, but given the way she snorts at your action, you highly doubt it and you clear your throat before you hurriedly look down at your textbook again.

"Okay." You shrug, picking up your pencil to vigorously erase a problem that was probably right or wrong, but you didn't care, your only goal was trying to pretend to seem nonchalant.

Truth be told, you do try to move on from Peter, but the love you feel is stubborn and persistent. It's a constant ache gnawing at your soul, a wound refusing to heal. 

Liz tilts her head at your nonchalant response, not buying into your tone.

"Okay?" She repeats.

"Okay." You confirm, placing the pencil on the table, out of your anxious grasp.

Liz was well in the know of your one-sided affection for Peter. Always encouraging you to talk to him, entertaining the very thought of you two ever being a couple. Oh, how respectful she was toward you when she knew at one point during your high school years Peter harboured feelings for her. You don't know exactly what made the boy stop liking her, but you were glad in the end.

"Well, alright." The girl says carefully, picking at her food.

"You don't have to come, but it'd be great if you did." She states with a sweet smile, and you don't find it in yourself to retort it and only nod.

Liz mumbles a quiet bye, standing up with her lunch tray in hand, most likely going to hang out with her other more sociable friends, letting you be left alone with your thoughts.

Unfortunately, those thoughts last for a good five seconds.

"Just the girl I was looking for." You recognize the voice almost immediately, straightening your position to look more presentable.

Peter was effortlessly gorgeous, it was unfair, truly. It was almost like he was purposely taunting you with the knowledge of knowing you can't have him because he doesn't want you to.

He sets his belongings in the empty seat next to him, unzipping his backpack, grabbing a small piece of paper with a pencil, zipping the bag back up before sliding over the gathered materials in your reach.

You look in-between him and the objects in confusion.

"I need you to write me a letter." Peter says, quickly noticing your bewilderment.

"For?"

"My birthday."

"Your birthday's not till August?"

"Well, not my birthday, MJ's." Peter corrects with a small chuckle.

You nod slowly, sliding the objects closer to you, avoiding Peter's intent gaze.

"Isn't her birthday in like, June?" You quiz, writing your 'to' and 'from' as Peter shrugs from across you.

"Yeah, but I'm planning a surprise party that'll at least take a month considering its Michelle, and I know how much you love writing letters." The boy explains and your eyes go wide as you look at him, raising an offended eyebrow.

Of course, it was certainly no secret that many of your love confessions were most of the time in the form of letters, those of which he rejected, continuously, and it was a heartbreaking experience every time. But having the boy use the very thing you couldn't help but show your expression with, against you, hurt worse than any rejection (you're lying, obviously).

"You're so funny, I almost laughed." You deadpan, slamming the pencil down on the table, startling Peter slightly as you push the pencil and paper back to him.

You quickly gather your things, turning to leave the lunch room, though it was nowhere near over, ignoring the calls of your name from Peter.

-

One-sided love is a tortuous experience. It's such a devastating thing knowing that your love is nowhere near as close to be reciprocated. Always filled with such despair. A constant battle between your heart and reality, between your dreams and the harsh truth.

After your "storm out", Peter was quick to text you with a million apologies, which to all of those you hesitantly ignored, and it was a no good feeling, probably the hardest thing you ever had to do.

It wasn't like he had never joked about your feelings towards him. You think its better that way, but sometimes he could go a little too far and you never understood why you allowed him to continue with the humour you never found yourself to laugh at. It was almost like a coping mechanism, coming to terms with the whole ordeal in a way that wouldn't be so heartbreaking.

Maybe the reason Peter only did joke about it was to help you get over him because he can only ever see you as a friend, and he wanted you to see it as well.

[baby-yongbok]

˳·˖✶ ⋆Midnights: Pt.1˳·˖✶ ⋆

Hyunjin x Fem!Reader

Genre: Fluff, Non idol

✨Masterlist ✨

Warnings: Mentions of the pandemic (COVID-19)

Notes: Third Person POV + Okay, so, When I started writing this I intended for it to be a sweet drabble but then I just kept typing and typing and TYPING... I think that this has potential to be a series. There will definitely be a part 2 but I'm not sure if it should just be two parts or more. Let me know what you think please? This was also written pretty fast so I'm sorry if the quality isn't the best, but then again I say that about everything I write. Anyway, I hope that you enjoy!

Word Count: 1366

Summary: The two of you are best friends, You know each other like the back of your hand, so why does this new version of Hyunjin give you a feeling you've never experienced before? His smile is all the same but somethings changed... What could it be?

You and Hyunjin have been best friends since you learned how to walk. You’ve done everything together for as long as you can remember and the fact that the two of you are next door neighbors made it even easier to spend an insane amount of time together. Around the time that you turned sixteen and he turned seventeen the two of you decided that spending eight hours of your day together wasn’t enough so naturally he started sneaking into your window late at night to hang out with you. The two of you would play games, watch movies, and anything else that your heart desired all while trying to stay as quiet as possible. Even though your entire family loved Hyunjin, you knew that having a boy in your room at 1:45am would not go over well with your parents. He’d sneak in for any reason and at any time. He got into a fight with his parents? He’ll be at your window at two in the morning. You’re feeling sick? He’ll be at your window with snacks and anything else he grabbed at the store to make you smile. 

Unfortunately, your late night hang outs came to an end when the two of you went off to college. Well, when he went off to college. Hyunjin made the decision to stay on campus but you weren’t sure that you were ready for the responsibility of basically living alone. Hyunjin begged you to stay on campus, promising that he’d take care of you and keep you on track but you just weren’t sure. Fast forward a month after that conversation when the two of you found out that you both got accepted… to different colleges. It took a lot for the two of you to say goodbye but you knew Hyunjin would only be a phone call away. 

Months went by and your nights were silent. There was no dark haired boy climbing up the tree next to your balcony and knocking on your window anymore. No more late night movies or whispering the lyrics to karaoke at three in the morning. The two of you kept in contact with video calls and texts but you both ended up being way more involved in college activities than you thought you would be thus leaving very little room for meeting up or even texting back some days. As your lives got busier the two of you slowly drifted apart, that was until the pandemic hit. Suddenly your extremely active world was quiet again, all of your classes were now either canceled or strictly online. Hyunjin had no choice but to move back home since his dormitory was closing down to enforce social distancing. It all felt like a mess but there was a silver lining to it all, Hyunjin was coming back home and the two of you would finally see each other after nearly five months of being apart, now all you had to do was wait.

 It was a regular Thursday evening, you sat on your front porch listening to music and laying on your bench swing with your dog, Miffy. The smooth voice of the artist you were listening to was suddenly drowned out by Miffy barking and running off of the porch. You sat up, startled by the sudden noise and immediately started searching for the cause of the commotion. That’s when your eyes landed on him, his hair was a bright red which stuck out from his black muscle tee and black sweats. You went over to your front steps and watched him for some time as he pulled his suitcase out of the trunk of his fathers car. ‘There’s no way that that’s Hyunjin right?’ Your thoughts were racing as you tried to remember what he looked like five months ago but your memory sadly failed you. Just as your eyes fix on the muscle of his toned arm he turns towards your house. His gaze is cast upwards towards your balcony, he’s clearly trying to see if you’re home. Your heart skips a beat as it all sinks in, that is Hyunjin. Just as you’re about to scream his name to get his attention Miffy reaches him and jumps up on him earning a smile and a happy laugh to fall from his lips. 

“Miffy! How are ya girl?” He wildly pets the dog like he hasn’t seen her in years but in his defense it’s felt like forever since he’s seen you and your family. Finally, he puts two and two together and looks up towards your front porch where you stood with your dress blowing in the autumn wind and a bright smile on your face. “Y/n!”

Hyunjin runs over to you immediately with Miffy following close behind. You rush down your front stairs with your arms out in front of you ready to hug your best friend. His arms snake around your waist quickly like you’d disappear if he were a second slower, yours find a home around his neck and he spins you around earning a giggle from you. “Oh my gosh, I’ve missed you, angel”

“I’ve missed you more.” He sets you down and pulls you closer to his body. His chin rests on the top of your head and your cheek rests comfortably on his chest. You don’t know what it is, call it your best friend spidey senses but he feels different than he did five months ago…what’s changed? You both pull back and look at each other, smiling like your lives depend on it. You lift your hand and tuck a strand of hair behind his ear. “You’re…red” 

He laughs at your comment and looks away from you for a second. “Do you mean my hair or my face?”

“Your hair… well actually, both.” You both fall into a fit of laughter before stopping and staring at each other again.

“I dyed it a month ago, I thought I sent you a picture.” Shaking your head Hyunjin’s smile slowly turns into a frown. “I’m sorry I haven’t kept up with talking to you… It was just so busy on campus and I joined way too many clubs and -” 

You bring your hand up to stop him with a smile still pulling at your lips. “It’s fine, I sucked at communicating too, what’s important is that you’re here now.”

The guilt he felt for not contacting you melted into a reassured smile. “There’s so much I want to tell you, angel, but I think I have to go.” 

He looked over to his house where his father was waiting by the car with his arms crossed. You furrowed your eyebrows with worried eyes and Hyunjin bit his lip slightly. - Fuck why was that hot? - He leans down to your ear and whispers.

“My parents aren’t too thrilled about the red hair, I think I’m in trouble.” You giggle and he does the same. “I figured that once I turned nineteen that I had a bit more freedom but that clearly isn’t the case.” 

He rolled his eyes and you sighed. “You know how your mom is, I say that you did this on purpose.” He sticks his tongue into his cheek slightly and smiles.

“You’re not wrong… but listen, I don’t want to make my case any worse so I’ll see you later?” You glance down at his wrist knowing for sure that he has a watch on him. 

“Hyun, it’s already seven o’clock. You’re gonna get scolded for about an hour and everything is closed due to the pandemic so we can’t go anywhere.” Just as Hyunjin was going to reply, his father called him to come home. With a sigh he starts walking backwards away from you.

“Leave your window open, yeah?” With a wink he turns and runs off towards his house. He gives you one last glance and smiles before he disappears through his front door leaving you in your walk way. For some reason you felt nervous about Hyunjin coming to your house tonight. Sure it would be just like old times but something has changed… What in the world was causing this feeling?

[transgenderdoctorwhomst-old]

i'd love to hear your thoughts on the doctor's sudden telepathy of his companions, if you would like to share. i think this might be something that nine and ten don't do as much? because war reads clara's mind a little bit if i remember correctly, i feel like nine would stop the telepathy because he is trying to put up more of an emotional wall, not get too close etc, and ten would feel sort of guilty about it? eleven reading people's minds whenever he likes (or even accidentally) seems like it fits his character a bit more?

(from @lost-tardis-room)(its a side i can't send asks from it)

i understand the sideblog pains, this blog is a sideblog-

war reading clara's mind makes sense, he's in a war. not using his basic time lord abilities to gain information would be a waste

nine definitely feels like he would refrain to distance himself, after the war it's easier for him to not feel other minds brushing against his, i think.

ten seems to stick to touch-telepathy strictly, based off the madame de pompadour episode he seems VERY uncomfortable with the concept that his thoughts might leak out. he seems to care a lot about making sure people know when he's doing any telepathy, likely because he doesn't want to alarm them or be invasive. he tries to keep using it to medical diagnoses, basically. (on the other hand, it's entirely possible he's constantly hearing the chatter of peoples minds, just chooses actively not to focus on it. he makes a comment once in Forest Of The Dead that's like "she has over four thousand people in her mind! that's like being in my head!" which brings up SO many questions that will not be followed up on)

eleven cares much, much less about if he's being invasive. or rather, has a much different sense of what might be considered acceptable. plus, i think he just genuinely forgets not to skim over peoples thoughts? he likes knowing things, he likes knowing what to do to give people a certain impression of him. he makes sure to catalogue the information he gets from reading minds as stuff not to mention, to play dumb about, i think. and to figure out what random social cue he's completely missing (so he can decide if he wants to "have a sudden realization" or keep playing the role of silly ditzy doctor).

also, eleven already has a habit of physically going through someones timeline to learn about them, in multiple instances. reading minds to get basic information about someone or nudging some things to the surface of kate's head because he's too awkward to talk about the brigadier completely lines up, that's basically nothing to him.

the doctor also absolutely never mentions having the ability to read minds without touch telepathy, at least as far as i know. we can infer in the show they can, since the doctor can hear the Ood singing telepathically, but that's a bit different from hearing the thoughts of one regular human person.

[the-wayside]

It is I. The opinion of fights-haver.

I sat, and I thought about this because my background isn't strictly Thai based, so there may be some incorrect perceptions, but the basis of my and their training are very similar.

The reason I say this is because in my martial arts discipline, you don't have a forearm block like that. You're not really allowed to hold onto your opponent. You get separated, and honestly, you wouldn't want to be in that position because you're extremely vulnerable. Range = advantage. My gut instinct when Phaya went at Tharn like that and what I was screaming at the laptop was get your knee up, define your range (you raise your knee up like you're going to start to do the can can, high as you can, and that keeps a distance between you and your opponent and they can't get at your chest/midsection). Second option if they are coming in slower is arm out to check them at the end of your range. Which, if you don't know, is the longest point from either your hand or your foot from your head when you strike your opponent. Phaya, being taller, has a longer range, so he has that one up on Tharn. Doesn't mean Tharn can't slip his guard and hammer him with body shots because once someone is in, it's near impossible to get them out.

Either way, Tharn does NONE of these things. He immediately guard down/it is absent to a different country, lets Phaya push him. You see him kind of attempt to get Phaya back at his range when he pushes at his chest with his right hand while his left grapples with Phaya's arm.

Even at the point that he's slammed back and before Yai gets between them, he could have shoved his knee up and forced Phaya back.

What I'm trying to get across is that this man made NO attempts to defend himself in that moment, and what he did was half-hearted at best. And Phaya? Nothing he does is technically "offensive." He makes no strikes at Tharn. He deflects his hand off him and then blocks him to drive Tharn back. Pinning Tharn does exactly that. Nothing about what Phaya does suggests he wants to hurt Tharn or he intends to. He has technically weakened his position by giving up his range, and he's purposely keeping Tharn at bay while he says what he needs to say.

Yai gets between them, not because a fight has broken out but one COULD. He's protecting Tharn from the possibility that Phaya could hit out at him.

Phaya is angry, hurt, and feels betrayed. You think he doesn't know how to slam into someone's face? He does. But he chooses not to because even though he is hurting, he would never hurt Tharn. It should have been a brawl. It should have been a rough and ready popping a few shots at each other, but it wasn't. These two CANNOT hurt each other like this. Their subconscious/conscious won't let them.

They're already in it whether they acknowledge it or not. They are each other's weakness now. Fighting is do (act [in your own interest]) or die. They both, even in their anger, chose death. So clearly they've learned nothing from their past lives, God help them.