#( for now i'm gonna be working on my other blogs but i'll try and pop back in here pretty soon <3 )

[babyhatesreality]

Two Sides of the Coin Part One

Pairing: Daddy!Stucky and Little!F!Reader

Warnings: DDLG (SSC), f! reader, reader is named but name scarcely used, language, pet names, gentle discipline, both Bucky and Steve being secret menaces to each other, fluffity fluff fluff fluff.

YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN MEDIA CONSUMPTION. THIS STORY IS SFW- THE REST OF MY BLOG IS NOT NECESSARILY SO. MINORS DNI. I DO NOT CONSENT FOR MY WORK TO BE STOLEN, COPIED, OR TRANSLATED ONTO ANY OTHER SITE BUT MY OWN. Likes, comments and reblogs are deeply appreciated.

"I need you to be on your best behavior."

"I will be."

"I mean it."

"I know!"

"You promise you'll follow the rules?"

"Yes, I promise!"

"All the rules?"

"All the rules!"

"No trying to get around it or finding loopholes. Best. Behavior."

"I get it!"

Steve sighed heavily. He still wasn't convinced.

"I mean it, Bucky," Steve said.

"I know, Steve!" Bucky replied, his wide eyes the picture of innocence. Just then, you came tearing out of your playroom, a piece of paper gripped firmly in your hand, beelining it straight for your Papa. Steve reached out and scooped you up like you weighed nothing.

"Lookit, Papa, I finished your drawing for you!" you chimed happily.

Steve smiled tightly. "That's great Katie Cat, but what have you been told about running in the apartment?"

Your eyes darted to the side as you thought, then you remembered the rule. You blushed in embarrassment, having forgotten yet again. "M'sorry, Papa," you murmured abashedly, dropping your head onto his shoulder. "Didn't want you to leave wifout your picture and I forgotted again. I sowwy."

The tension left Steve's smile and he kissed your temple. "I forgive you love, but next time when you're super excited, do you think you can try to remember your rules better? I don't want you getting hurt."

You nodded energetically. "I try, Papa! Getting hurt is a no-no!"

"That's right. Now, no more running today or you're getting a Time Out. Understand?"

"I understand."

"Good. Good girl," Steve said proudly, before giving you a big hug and another kiss, this time on the cheek. You snuggled happily back down onto his shoulder. He then turned and looked meaningfully at Bucky, who rolled his eyes.

"Yes, if she runs again today, she'll get a Time Out," he said back in a bored voice. His nose wrinkled and he cocked an eyebrow at his husband. "Honestly, I'm starting to get a little offended here, Cap. You seem to have the impression that I can't take care of her alone."

Steve tilted his head and smiled gently at his love. "It's not that and you know it. I'm just....I don't like being away from her for this long, where I can't see her and protect her and...." He didn't finish the sentence, but Bucky could see it in his eyes. Steve felt guilty for leaving.

For the next month, all the Avengers were being sent out on goodwill missions and press tours- giving back to the community during peacetime. Fury had split the team into mini groups, and all caregivers had been assigned to separate teams so no little was left alone. They were quick missions, only three days long, but to Steve, the idea of leaving the both of you felt like an eternity. He'd been doing well to hide it, but the mask had slipped now that it truly was go time.

All offense forgotten, Bucky smiled and stepped in closer to the two of you. He put a soothing hand on the small of Steve's back, rubbing gently. "You know that I'll do right by our girl," he said softly. "Nothing's gonna happen- not on my watch. AND I promise that we'll have bedtimes and vegetables and screen time restrictions and Time Outs."

At that, you popped your head up. "How's come Time Outs?" you asked, outraged, only catching part of the discussion. "I didn't do nothing!"

Bucky's lips twisted as he tried to suppress his smile at your ire. "Not yet, you haven't," he said, a twinkle in his eye. "But you think you can honestly be one hundred percent good for three whole days straight?" he asked you, smirking.

"Oh. Prob'ly not," you said matter of factly, before laying your head back down on Steve's shoulder. Bucky turned back to Steve, his grin wrapping around his face.

"See? I got this," he said cheerfully, making Steve chuckle.

"Yeah, I know you do, punk," Steve said, softening, as he leaned in to kiss Bucky lovingly. He set you down, then leaned down so you were eye to eye. "Alright, Katie Cat. Best behaviors, okay?"

"Okay, Papa! I try!"

"Oh, I didn't mean you. I meant for Daddy. You're gonna have to keep him on his best behavior, you know. It's a full time job."

"I do it!" you giggled, twisting around in glee. "If Daddy's bad, does he get a Time Out?" It made you laugh to think of your big, bad Daddy smushed into the Time Out corner.

Steve smiled indulgently at you. "Tell you what. You keep a list of all the bad things Daddy does while I'm gone, and I'll take care of him when I get back. Deal?" he said mischievously. Bucky shot him an unamused look as you laughed uproariously.

"Deal! Oh, I 'most forgot!! Here's your picture to take wif you, okay?" You held up the drawing to your beloved Papa, who took it carefully, examining it. "See, it's you and Daddy and me and Jellybean! And we playin' in the park, an' dat's da fountain and the swings and the sun!"

Steve immediately scooped you back up into the biggest bear hug imaginable. "I love it Baby Girl, thank you," he whispered into your ear. "It's going right on the mirror in the hotel where I'll see it every day." You hugged your Papa fiercely back- you couldn't ask for better than that.

About ten minutes later, you and Bucky waved as the Quinjet took off into the clear blue sky. After a quick touch base with Tony, Natasha, and Sylvie about a playdate over the next three days, Bucky took your hand and let you skip and hop next to him, all the way back down the elevator and to your apartment. You stepped together over the threshold and Bucky shut the door behind you. It was quiet. Very quiet. You two sighed in sync. Then just as Bucky looked down at you, you looked up at him. Identical grins of mischief cracked across both of your faces.

"Let's do it," you both said in agreement.

Five minutes later, you were seated on top of the kitchen island, directing the madness. "We need MORE Oreos, Daddy!"

Bucky crumbled another handful of Oreos on top of the already way-too-big 3 flavored ice cream sundae he was making. "Alright, got it. What else?" he asked you. "Let's see, we got m&ms, hot fudge, cherries, sprinkles-"

"Chocolate AND rainbow!"

"Right, chocolate and rainbow, can't have one without the other. We've also got potato chips, caramel popcorn, Skittles, Twizzlers, gummy bears..."

"Do we got any of the hot Cheetos left??"

"No, Papa made me get rid of them."

"Booooooo."

"Tell me about it. Do we need anything else?"

"Whipped cream!"

"Good call, Trouble. I think that'll do it then!" You cheered loudly as he picked you up off the kitchen counter, tossing you into the air playfully before blowing a raspberry on your cheek. He set you down as you were still laughing. "Get two big spoons, okay?"

"Okay!" you said, charging towards the spoon drawer. "Dis is WAY better dan vegetables."

Bucky stopped and turned to look at you. "That's right- I did promise Papa we'd have vegetables, didn't I?" Your little brow instantly wrinkled, not liking where this was going and having instant regret from bringing it up. "Well, guess we gotta keep our promises." Bucky reached into the fridge and withdrew one carrot stick. He unceremoniously jammed it into the top of the scoop of strawberry. "There we go," he said, nodding in satisfaction. "Shall we?"

The rest of the morning was spent devouring the sugar-loaded monstrosity while sitting in a huge blanket fort the two of you made in the living room and watching Disney movies. You offered a running commentary on all of them, which Bucky found to be absolutely hilarious. After two and a half movies, you finally crashed from the sugar high so the two of you cuddled on the sleeping bags and cushions that made up the base of the blanket fort and took a long nap. You ordered pizza for dinner and it was awesome.

The rest of Steve's time away was just like that- the two of you making an absolute mess of the apartment and doing whatever you wanted. Within reason of course- Bucky wasn't about to put himself in a situation where he'd have to explain to Steve how you'd gotten hurt while running in the apartment on his watch. He helped you burn your energy out in other ways though, like taking you to the giant swimming pool in the Avengers training gym. He made you wear a lifejacket and double floaties on all four limbs. When you complained loudly and passionately, he just responded with his mischievous grin, and launched you high into the air, where you cannonballed into the water spectacularly. You had so many floaties on that you barely dipped below the surface. Your protests disappeared in an instant, changing to calls for "AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN!!!!!" You two stayed in the pool until all your fingers looked like prunes.

You had a fun playdate with Peter, the twins, and Prince Loki, but honestly you preferred making mischief with your Daddy at home. On the last night of just the two of you, he took you up to the roof of the tower, and the two of you star gazed together. He pointed out constellations to you, and you listened in hushed wonder at the stories that Bucky was able to weave from the stars.

The day Steve was due to arrive home, it was Sergeant Daddy and Private Baby Cleaning Time, which you always thoroughly enjoyed. By the time you two were done, there was not a trace of any shenanigans whatsoever. The whole team was on deck to greet the returning Avengers that evening, and soon the air was full of joyful screams of the littles as they were reunited with their caregivers. Steve scooped you up and cuddled you tight while you hugged him as hard around the neck as you could, determined not to let go. He then blew a huge raspberry on your cheek, making you shriek with laughter. He gave Bucky a long kiss, and the three of you made your way back to the apartment.

As you babbled on to Steve with the very carefully crafted version of the truth about your exploits over the past couple days that Bucky had coached you on, you missed the subtle but detailed visual sweep of the apartment that Steve was doing. When you had finally told him everything down to you and Bucky going to the launch pad to greet the Quinjet's return, Steve tossed you in the air before giving you another bear hug.

"That sounds like a very fun time, pup. Did you and Daddy obey all the rules? All the time?"

You nodded vigorously, because technically you HAD. "There were vegetables and naps and I didn't run in the apartment!"

Steve chuckled. "That's my good girl. Hey- guess what?" he asked playfully, setting you back down on the ground.

"What?"

"If you go look in the small blue duffle bag that's on Daddy's and my bed, I think you might find a surprise..." With a shriek, you started to tear off. But before you got two steps, you stopped so fast you nearly knocked yourself over. You then began speed walking as fast as you could without calling it running.

"I am not running Papa, just so you know!" you hollered over your shoulder as you rounded the corner and he couldn't see you anymore. Steve burst out laughing at that, before pulling Bucky in for a much deeper kiss than before. Once the two of the finally broke apart, Steve leaned back, giving Bucky a knowing look.

"So. I'm impressed, Sergeant. Can't tell that the two of you have been wreaking havoc in here for the past three days at all," Steve said, grinning lovingly at his husband.

"I didn't do anything," Bucky said sanctimoniously, with a little shake of his head. When Steve began to laugh, he stopped him with mischievous kiss.

A/N- Okay, so I was going to do this as one big story, but it's already too long and I haven't posted in a while, so here you go. Part two coming in as fast as I can finish it, and I bet you know what's coming.... :D Here's Part Two!

[nanapop]

Demon's Fate has been decided

Hey everyone, I've got some bad news 😭

I've decided to shelve Demon's Fate indefinitely and I have posted a devlog regarding this on the game's page, which you can read >here<

But I also will probably get deeper into the reasoning behind it here since this is my blog and feels less like a "professional" space and I'm thinking that getting my thoughts out might help me to move on from this one and better help me focus on new projects without feeling guilty about it.

So gonna pop this all under a read more, feel free to skip the rest of the post and just read the itch version!

So in the itch post I mention lack of motivation and consistently being unhappy with the results as the main reasons behind wanting to put this one down. I also talk about how I've had these characters and their stories (specifically Vy) hanging around with me for over a decade. & I feel like all of these things combined really made it hard for me to really get into making this game.

A Cruel Demon's Fate was originally going to be a novel, with Vy as the main character and it followed him after he fled from the demon realm after the death of Damin and his impending crowning. I tried to rewrite the story multiple times, over the span of like five years and I only ever got a few chapters in before I decided that I hated the way it was coming out (sounds really familiar, huh). So the story got put away for later.

Then I decided to try out visual novels. I'd always found the medium interesting and fun, the art side of it really spoke to me as someone who enjoys doing drawings of their characters and stuff. So Demon's Fate felt like a good starting point. I had all the characters and a loose plotline, though I reworked it to fit the style a little better. Now instead of Vy being the focus, it was all of the brothers and the story would take place in the palace specifically.

Maybe this was the first mistake I made. The story had already previously been difficult for me to fully get into, despite the want to work with the characters. I think the lack of motivation partially stemmed from the fact that I had failed so many times before to make something from this idea. The previous plots and their failures kind of stained the entire project from the start.

As much as I wish I could have started with a clean slate, it just didn't work out that way. So I wound up being unhappy with all the writing in this new version just like the old versions.

Something I didn't mention in the itch post is how throughout all the years, this story and the characters had been brainstormed with friends and so the whole thing really just feels tied to those relationships, and they're relationships I no longer have nor look back on fondly anymore. So perhaps that's part of the problem too.

The whole things is too close to a past that I've been working on detaching myself from and while I will always love these characters and will probably always toy with the what-ifs of them in the back of my mind, it just doesn't seem feasible for me to continue to force myself to work with them.

So, now that I've gotten all of that out. I won't be taking the game down, you can still play through the prologue if you want to. But I won't be picking this back up again. If I do, it'll be in a completely new setting/plot or as a series of mini stories with each of the boys, I don't know. For now, I'll just let them rest and focus on fresh projects that don't have emotional attachment to things I no longer wish to think about.

That's all. I am really grateful for those of you who have shown interest in this project and all the other ones I've posted about. It really means a lot to me and I hope that I continue to see you guys around when I post about new stuff 🧡

[presidentroarie]

Sophitz Week Day 1: Human AU

ft. Deaf!Fitz

Normally I'd put this on my writing blog, but sophitz week gets it everywhere. Written in a rush for yesterday and then I fell asleep, don't judge it too hard XD. I will be continuing and updating it (maybe ao3?)

Sophie sat in the second row in her second period class: Algebra 2. It wasn't exactly a great start to her first day, but that meant that her classes could only get better from there. 

“Alright, students, let's take attendance!” Sir Faxon said. “There's only twenty two of you of you, so this should be quick.” He went down the list, and each of the first nineteen people raised their hands. “Fitz Vacker!” 

No one raised their hand. “Fitz?” He asked again, and people started looking around.

There was a boy who sat three seats down from her who hadn’t raised his hand. It seemed he was looking at something on his desk. They almost looked like a set of light bulbs. 

Sir Faxon started and hit the button on his desk. One of the bulbs on the boy's desk lit up. 

The boy looked up to the front and raised his hand. 

“Sorry Fitz,” Sir Faxon annunciated sheepishly. “I entirely forgot. It's good to meet you.”

The boy—Fitz—held up the okay sign, partnered with an easygoing smile to show he meant it. Then he signed something else: he put his left thumb toward his chest and moved his hand between him and Sir Faxon, his right pointer finger aimed at him. Sophie didn't know much ASL, but she guessed it meant something like You too.

Sir Faxon finished attendance and smiled. “Well class, it's nice to see some familiar faces from our Algebra 1 class a couple years ago. To those of you who didn't have me, it's nice to meet you.” He gave them a moment of silence before continuing, “Now I know the first day is stressful, so for today's class, I'm going to allow you to talk to each other. Just don’t be too loud about it, or I'll have to hear about it from Magnate Leto.”

The room immediately started switching seats with each other to get closer to their friends.

Dex, who was sitting in front of her, turned his chair around and flopped over on her desk. “Math second period? I'm gonna die.”

Sophie just nodded her affirmative. Her eyes flicked to the boy—Fitz.

He was reading a book, his teal eyes scanning the pages intently. Every once in a while, he must've read something funny, because he’d get a small smile from the corner of his mouth. 

His cola hair and bronze skin made his eyes pop when he turned to look at her.

Sophie gave him a shy smile, slightly blushing from having been caught staring. and waved.

Fitz waved back with the same smile he'd had while reading.

Dex shoved Sophie's shoulder, and she turned her head back to glare at him. “What was that for?”

“Saving you,” he responded. “You've been staring so long at the deaf kid that he noticed.”

“First off, his name is Fitz, calling him the deaf kid is rude. Secondly, I was trying to see what book he was reading.”

Dex snorted. “More like you were trying to see his butt.”

Sophie went bright red. “Okay, was I noticing that he's cute, objectively? Yeah, sure. But he's not my type.”

“He's exactly your type,” Dex rebutted. “I mean, I get it. He's hot. But you don't usually oogle."

“Shut up,” she said, collecting her stuff. The bell rang, and Sophie nodded at Dex before making her way to Study Hall. Seeing the blonde girl in the back row, she snagged the seat beside her. “Marella!”

“Hey to you too,” Marella said. "What do you want?"

“Oh what? I'm not allowed to be glad to see you?” Sophie asked.

“No, but I'm assuming since we came in together with Dex this morning and you weren't so jovial, you have something to talk about. So spill.”

Sophie glanced around the room. Other than the teacher, whose face was stuck behind a book, everyone had headphones in and were doing work on their computers or were on their phones. She leaned in conspiratorially. “Okay, have you had a class with Fitz Vacker?”

“Oh,the deaf guy?” Marella asked.

“His name is Fitz.”

“I was just checking! Yeah, he's in European History with me first period. Elodie Musker and her posse were drooling all over him until they realized he was deaf. Lady Dara lit into them about it after class."

"Good for her. What the fuck is wrong with them?"

“Thats a long list. So, what were you going to say about him?” Marella asked.

Sophie blushed. “Oh, I just wanted to see if you knew anything about him. You know, normal stuff.”

Marella squinted at her. "Like what?”

Sophis shrugged, blushing slightly. “Like, just whatever you know. I'm curious.”

“Alright, you never ask me for gossip about anybody. Do you like him? Because I dont know if he has a partner, or even if he's interested in anyone."

“No!” Sophie said. “I dont know him. And that's the problem. How is it that I've never seen him before? What's the deal?” When Marella side eyed her, she gave her back puppy eyes. “Please?”

Marella sighed. “Okay, okay. I don't know much to be honest. I know that his parents are pretty rich and that they're really well-known. His dad is Alden Vacker.”

“Who?”

“Alden Vacker? The guy who used to date Governor Alina? He's a stockbroker.”

“Oh, that's cool I guess. So his family is a bunch of rich people?”

“Basically. I know he has an older brother who graduated a few years back and is now overseas in Germany, and his little sister Biana is our age. Fitz is the only one who's deaf. So maybe his family had him homeschooled.”

“I guess that makes sense,” Sophie said. “Okay, that's a good start.” She pulled out her phone and began typing away into the search bar.

"Sophie, where is this going?"

"I'm gonna talk to him. "

“You don't know sign language.”

“But I can learn. Honestly, I should've earlier. It's not like there aren't deaf people all over the country.” 

"Hmm," Marella said.

“Anyways,” Sophie said casually. “What's this year’s plan to get Linh Song’s attention?”

“Oh shut it,” Marella grumbled.

“You mean you've got nothing?” Sophie teased. When Marella grumbled more, Sophie said, “How about you just ask her out?”

“No, no,” Marella sighed. “It's okay, I'll think of something."

They spent the rest of the class period researching ASL, or stewing in Marella's case, until the bell rang, signaling lunch time. Sophie determined she would ignore Fitz for the rest of the day until she got home so she could practice some ASL and be back Monday, ready to try.

-----------------‐---------------‐------‐-------

Of course, life decided to put her in the same 5th period AP Bio class and the 6th period lab. But she managed to stay focused on the task at hand and only glanced at him a few times, thankfully without being caught.

At the end of the class, Sophie walked up to the teacher. “Hey Elwin,” she said. “Long time no see.”

“What do you want?”  Elwin said with an eye roll. “It better not be asking me why I'm not in the Healing Center.”

“Oh, not at all!” Sophie assured him. “Just wanted to ask if you could wait until Monday to make up lab partners.”

“What are you up to?”

“Nothing. Just asking.”

Elwin just shook his head. “Alright, I'll wait until Monday.”

“Thank you! Okay, gotta go, bye Elwin see ya tomorrow!” She stopped in the doorway. "Actually, why aren't you in the Healing Center?"

"I saw you on the AP Bio list and figured I could keep an eye on your accident prone self," Elwin teased.

Sophie stuck her tongue out at him and laughed when he did it back. The second bell rang, and Sophie said, "Shit, gotta go. See ya!"

---------------‐-------------------------------

Life gave her another shock when she walked in 8th period to find a worksheet on their assigned desks with another name on the top.

Tiergan said, "Yes, yes, welcome back, pupils. I thought today I'd make it easier than in the past and do a simple 'Getting to Know you' worksheet. Now, your partner's name is written at the top, and it's up to you to find them and ask them their questions. You can not trade partners, and at the end of class, you and your partner will be sitting next to each other in your new assigned seats. If you do the assignment, you get a 100. Don't, and you get a zero. If your partner isn't here, ask me your questions so you can get a grade. Sound good?"

Sophie read the name at the top of her paper three times. Fitz Vacker.

Well, shit. Hopefully, she'd researched enough during lunch, with no help from Dex and Marella, to be able to answer and ask the questions.

They found each other towards the back of the room and sat, staring at each other for a minute.

Finally, Sophie couldn't take it. She waved before rubbing a closed fist over her chest a couple circles and then holding it up, flicking her fingers behind her a little. Hi. Sorry for before.

Fitz looked confused. He tapped the side of his head gently before rolling two pointer fingers around in front of his chest and splitting them apart, laying them out. You know sign language?

She paused a moment, trying to figure out how to sign what she meant. Finally, she signed, Reading? Yes. Signing? No, but trying.

--------------------End here ------------------------

Leaving it here for later

[jazlynriddle]

Welcome to your life - Pt 3:

It's My Own Design Ch 17:

Summary:

Ominis fought to control his expression, to keep his hands from trembling. Five years. Five years since he'd seen his parents, and this. This was the reason they'd given him the honour of their time? This was the reason they'd sought him out at Hogwarts?

The bitterness welling up within him was thick enough to gag on.

New year, new allies, new responsibilities, new avenues of revenue, and new aspects of their own Ancient Magic to explore. As the Keeper and their partners enter their last year at Hogwarts, it remains to be seen if the new school year will bring with it new problems or adversaries, but they are confident in the strength of their relationship with Sebastian and Ominis. The three of them would endure, no matter what befell them.

And if they were wrong?

What a joke, they would suffer no alternative.

Warnings: This chapter contains smut! It's er, finger lickin' good. Just, not fingers.

Warnings: Sebastian x MC x Ominis! Drug Addiction! Spoilers! Slow-burn corruption! Dark content! Fucked up 1800s orphanages! MC has no love for Anne or Solomon! Dubious happy ending (it's happy for MC, Seb and Ominis at least).

You can also read on AO3! (chapter specific warnings below)

Notes:

Warnings: Implied era-appropriate religious abuse. Blowjob!

Okay, now that I think about it retrospectively, they're horny teens, it should have been obvious that smut was going to happen after the angst, but I definitely didn't plan this lol. Oh well, who's gonna complain about more smut anyway xP

And of course, 10,400 words. Damn, that's a really round number. Well, I guess it's fine since I managed to write this chapter pretty fast. I'm better with this in-head type of writing, I suck at descriptive writing so it always takes me forever and a ton of energy.

When I was a kid in school the standard advice given by teachers to the class was always to write descriptive English composition essays and NEVER touch argumentative.

And I was always the one kid who got the opposite advice; please choose argumentative, your description of the world around you sucks balls, surely you have more to say about the trip to the market than “the light was searing my retinas and the long walk made my legs ache but I bought the items successfully”. How was the air feeling? Don't remember. What were you smelling? A lot of things. Who did you see? Human beings I guess?

Though in fairness, now that I know I'm autistic, it's probably because I was constantly experiencing sensory overload and couldn't register my environment without being hit with pain, or the extreme tunnel vision and goal oriented brain xP

Edit: And for my Tumblr-only readers, I deeply apologise, but we have finally caught up to where I am currently writing! So, you'll have to wait for the next chapters like the rest of my readers on AO3, but in the meantime, I'll also be uploading my old artwork and one of my older fics to a separate blog here on Tumblr as well. So, there'll still be some content appearing, just not really HL. Though I do have two other HL short fics in the works that will probably start going up sometime soon on both AO3 and Tumblr.

Anyway, for this fic series, my Tumblr upload time is every second Sat 3pm PST, which is this coming weekend.

The chapters do go up three hours earlier on AO3, at noon PST, just because mistakes and better ways to phrase sentences always pop up after I hit the upload button and it's far easier to edit chapters on AO3 on mobile. Tumblr lags because my chapters are too long lol

Now, although I try my best to keep to that schedule, I often have to skip an upload and I will usually announce that ahead of time on the chapter that I'm uploading. As I likely will for chapter 19 because my next week is literally full, like 9 days filled to the brim. I am so fucked. So, that would mean 4 weeks between uploads if that happens.

Also the end notes for this chapter are really long... but the next chapter's is even longer. OTL

“Darlng.” Ominis murmured around his toothbrush, as the sound of brushing beside him slowed and gradually ground to a halt.

When he got no response, he reached across to prod the Keeper in the side with his wand and they jumped, telling him that they had indeed gotten distracted in the middle of brushing their teeth.

“Mm? O’ righ.” Came the muffled reply and the sound of their brushing resumed.

Honestly, not encouraging. The Keeper had been wearing the armlet since tea and they'd been markedly absent-minded since then.

Trailing off mid-sentence, drifting off while Ominis was talking and missing his words. Which was rather frustrating, truth be told, he'd gotten used to how attentive they always were with him, but at least they hadn't slipped up and accidentally taken some of the Pain energy.

According to them, at least.

“Hey, have either of you seen the newspaper? I wanted to finish the word search before bed.” Sebastian asked, poking his head into the bathroom.

Almost reflexively, Ominis felt the answer, that he hadn't seen it, surface in his mind. However, instead of saying it, he simply spat in the sink and began to rinse his mouth, because he was not speaking to Sebastian and hadn't since their fight in the afternoon.

Does anything even need to change? His boyfriend's words echoed in his head, and Ominis took a deep breath as he dried his hands and face.

How could Sebastian even say that? This whole Pain energy thing was supposed to be a means to an end, when they did what they needed to, the Keeper would stop taking such a dangerous thing. Going through withdrawal alone had been awful for them, surely that was enough indication of its dangers?

With all the experiments, and the ever-increasing amount of Pain energy the Keeper had to take to stay withdrawal, every day where nothing went wrong was a miracle. They just needed to keep winning the coin toss, survive taking it till Dìon castle had been brought to life and Anne was cured, and until then, they shouldn't rock the boat.

Was that not the plan? Why was Sebastian talking like the Keeper was going to be taking that poison even after they'd achieved those goals? When had he decided that the Keeper taking Pain energy forever was worth the risk? To what? Be powerful enough to kill dragons? How long did those two intend for all this to go on?

Ominis wasn't sure he could handle being under that stress for the rest of their lives together.

Even if Sebastian was right and the Keeper was immune to becoming a monster because of their Ancient Magic, as the only Ancient Mage, they could not possibly prove such a thing until they hit a problem. And that problem could easily be death.

Not to mention, if something unexpected happened and they needed to hide or lie low, and couldn't get more Pain energy, they'd be at risk of dying.

What would they do if that happened!? Ominis’ jaw tightened, no, he knew what they'd do, Sebastian would ask Ominis to cast the bloody Cruciatus curse on him, again, just to give the Keeper his Pain. Nausea churned in his stomach, sick and sour with guilt and shame.

The sound of his partners talking hummed in the background as Ominis followed them to bed, climbing onto the right side and lying down on his back tiredly, their words like senseless noise in his ears. How could they be so cavalier? As though neither were worried about the dangers and terrifying quantity of unknowns in this entire venture.

“Love...” Ominis felt a gentle touch against his face and the Keeper's voice, warm in his ear. “Thinking when tired doesn't get anyone anywhere. Try to get some sleep. You'll feel better in the morning, and we can talk more, alright?”

The endless optimism of his partners really was unbearable. Wordlessly, Ominis turned onto his side. He highly doubted that some sleep would magically fix this.

The Keeper sighed as they gazed at his curled up back, before taking a glance over at Sebastian on the other side of them as he laid down, refusing to so much as look in Ominis’ direction. They had no idea how to fix this.

They sort of agreed with Sebastian on the actual issue at hand, there hadn't been evidence so far that taking Pain energy was any worse on the body than coffee, which was also addictive but not harmful unless some idiot overdosed.

Though their confidence was more because the Keeper felt both that the short-term benefits were worth a potential cost and knew that they could weather any ailment in their lovers’ names, rather than the speculative optimism that Sebastian bore.

It was a problem that Sebastian had, being too optimistic, to the point of wishful thinking. What with how convinced he had been that the relic was the answer when there was no discernible link between Inferi and Anne's curse. It's not resolve if you delude yourself into believing that nothing would go wrong and thus never prepare for things to go wrong.

The similarity between him and the Keeper themselves, was that they simply preferred to suffer the consequences of trying their best, over letting fear halt their steps and to go to bed wishing that they had done more. To be resigned and consigned to whatever fate had in store for them, like Ominis often was.

However, they also understood that Ominis simply wasn't as resolved to accept the consequences of his or their actions. That he could not bear the thought of either of his partners coming to any harm, regardless of how worthy the cause, and that came too from a place of love. If a bit short sighted.

That Ominis was, as ever, mired in doubt. A fear that he didn't truly know his partners. A fear that burned Sebastian, the straightforward boy, hurt that someone he loved so deeply would doubt said love, after everything he'd done to prove it. For while Sebastian had few scruples, he carried a naivety that, ironically, the Keeper thought might have come from Ominis.

After all, what greater proof that a good person could use the Unforgivables, than Ominis himself? What greater evidence that exceptions existed, when an heir of Slytherin was the least purist person he knew? A blind boy, yet sensitive enough to see what few others could. If the Keeper had grown up beside a walking miracle, they might have believed in miracles too.

They knew that Sebastian would readily throw his very life away for Ominis and themselves. Though getting Ominis to see that as the selfless love it was in Sebastian's mind, rather than as the selfishness it instead was in Ominis’, was a feat that the Keeper had no clue how to accomplish.

Lying down with a tired sigh, they really hoped that this would be resolved soon, being sandwiched between the two stubborn boys in the middle of a tiff really was the worst place to be. If it were anyone else, the Keeper would have hit them both on the head and left the boys to sort it out themselves a long time ago.

All this really wasn't helping them resist taking a whiff of Pain energy either. The warm fog had been following them around as they finished preparing the third cell in anticipation of their next subject, and they'd taken the opportunity to explain the collars and their theory about the two ways one could consume Pain energy to Ominis, while he did a routine check on Macnair and Selwyn.

Though it had taken a lot of effort to do so when they kept getting distracted, by the enticing warmth of the armlet, especially with how cold the boys were being. Closing their eyes, they let the exhaustion of the day, of resisting their addiction, carry them into sleep. Hopefully they wouldn't accidentally take some while unconscious...

As the Keeper's breathing evened out beside him, Sebastian fought the urge to turn around and snuggle up to them, his eyes burning, ashamed that he couldn’t quite bring himself to apologise for losing his head earlier. He did understand that Ominis was just scared, but he was scared too goddammit.

Did being afraid give Ominis leave to hurt him this way every time he got scared? Did Ominis think it was fine to hurt Sebastian or the Keeper emotionally whenever he got anxious? The possibility was terrifying, and he didn't want to believe it could be true.

Yet, even when Sebastian had done everything he could think of to assuage Ominis’ fears, nothing had worked. If Ominis wasn't willing to meet them in the middle, couldn't even talk about things rationally, how were they supposed to get anywhere?

They didn't have ten years for Ominis to slowly overcome his fear of the Pain energy, the Keeper needed it now, to survive the trials and dangers that lay ahead. If they couldn't hide it from Ominis, and they couldn't tell him about it, what the fuck were they supposed to do!? This was a matter of life and death, why couldn't Ominis just-

Sebastian couldn't help but remember that day in the Scriptorium, when Ominis had literally refused to take an action that would save their lives. It'd been almost THREE YEARS since then, and Ominis still hadn't made a single step of headway in this area. It almost felt like Ominis didn't see anything wrong with this to begin with.

Sebastian was trying to be understanding, but he just couldn't get how Ominis could be so paralysed by fear, that he would choose death.

Just let us protect you! Sebastian wanted to grab Ominis by the shoulders and scream. We all want the same thing, to protect our shared happiness, why are we fighting like this? Why was Ominis treating him like he didn't care about his lovers? Sebastian wouldn't be trying if he didn't care. Hell, it'd be easier if he didn't care!

After all this time, it hurt that Ominis still didn't trust him.

Sniffing and scrubbing at the moisture in his eyes with his hands, Sebastian squeezed his eyes shut and tried to shove the feelings aside with his Occlumency meditation.

The Occlumency that Ominis had taught him.

Ugh, fuck it. Sebastian gave in and turned around to cling to the Keeper, pressing his face into their shoulder and taking a deep breath of their comforting scent.

Almost immediately, he felt the stress ease and his body relax. The Keeper was right here, warm and safe, and on the other side, bathed in the moon's cool glow, was Ominis, and even if he was still upset, it was assuring to know that he was here and safe too. Yeah, definitely worth it, a relieved smile formed on Sebastian's face and his tears finally ceased.

He always woke up wrapped around one of his partners anyway, he could just pretend it happened in his sleep.

On the other side of the Keeper, this whole time, Ominis’ eyes were wide open, and he lay there frozen with shock, was Sebastian crying?

He listened carefully, yeah, no doubt about it, but... why? For all his emotional tendencies, Sebastian had only ever cried during or after nightmares and that one time he had a breakdown in the Feldcroft cottage.

Was it what Ominis said? It was hard to believe that Sebastian would care enough about his words to cry, when he didn't care enough about Ominis’ feelings to stop his reckless behaviour.

Ominis had spoken truthfully, but pointing out how selfish and reckless Sebastian and the Keeper were being... perhaps he should have done that more carefully. Did Sebastian not even realise what he was doing?

The continued sniffles ate away at Ominis, he'd done that, he'd made Sebastian cry... and the guilt only worsened when he realised that it didn't just feel awful, it also felt good. To hear the effect he had on Sebastian, to feel the power he had over the proud and stubborn boy's heart, to feel some sort of control.

Bile rose in the back of Ominis’ throat, no no no no- he shook the thought away, recoiling from it in horror. That was the darkness speaking, the evil his parents were steeped in, that they'd implanted in him. He couldn’t let the poison in his veins taint the people he loved. Controlling other people with force and hurting them, that was not acceptable.

No matter how selfish they were being, no matter how much he wanted that to change, no matter how stressed Ominis was, he knew that Sebastian and the Keeper were not evil. Neither of them, no matter how frustrated he was with them, deserved to be hurt, the way Ominis had been by his family.

Nobody deserved that, period. Least of all the two people he loved so dearly that he was beset with such fear to begin with.

What am I doing? Ominis asked himself ruefully. I'm not even succeeding in stopping them, I'm just hurting them. But if I don't try to stop them, I might as well sign their death warrants. But what else could I possibly do? Leave? Threaten to break up?

That would probably hurt everybody involved, himself being the only one he would be sure to devastate, but if it got them to stop, at least it wouldn't be only hurt dealt with no progress made. Ominis bit back his own sob as he felt the bed bounce ever so slightly, listening to the now familiar sound of Sebastian turning on the bed, before his sobs and sniffles turned into snores.

I can't, Ominis wailed in his heart, mourning his own cowardice and selfishness, I can't give this up. The very thought of not having the Keeper or Sebastian as his, was nauseating. It was the catacombs all over again, how could he stand by and let this happen again?

A good friend, a good lover, would love Sebastian and the Keeper enough to sacrifice his bond with them, if it would save their lives. What a horrible person he was, Ominis lamented, then and now, he was still too selfish to do the right thing, to be a good person. He'd told the Keeper in the tomb that he might be willing to sacrifice his friendship with Sebastian, but he hadn't been.

What right had he, to be enraged at their selfishness, when Ominis himself was so hopelessly self-serving too?

We're all sinners here. It was so difficult to fight the temptation to throw all conscience to the wind. To give in to the urge to just force the Keeper and Sebastian to do what he wanted, whatever that entailed, and Ominis was tired, so tired of resisting his vile instincts.

He wanted to wake the Keeper, beg them to do it again, help him stop thinking, stop feeling, manipulate his mind into silence once more, but a part of him knew that this was too much for them to suppress. Their words had worked when they first started dating, when he had been more concerned about what they were doing with Pain energy, than what it was doing to them.

When he'd still seen them as impossibly invincible, an unbelievable creature that had powers beyond imagination, had power over both him and Sebastian. When he hadn't yet come close to losing them or seen how human and vulnerable they really were. How they too, could be wrong.

Loving them, accepting them, flaws, failures and all, had cost him the ability to uncritically leave everything up to them, to surrender reality into their hands. The irony that the more he loved them, the more terrifying the thought of losing them and the harder to trust them when they tried to soothe that fear with assurances that they couldn't guarantee. Promises they couldn't keep.

He wanted- no, needed them, the Keeper and Sebastian. Wanted to hold them both close, protected, safe.

Compelled by his need and unable to resist, Ominis turned as well and wrapped himself around the Keeper, stretching his hand across their chest to find Sebastian's and entwine their fingers together. His heart aching in his chest when he felt traces of wetness on his boyfriend's fingertips.

I'm sorry, Seb... I just don't know what to do... Ominis thought mournfully to himself as he closed his eyes.

“I've decided to open the Repository. Its power cannot lie dormant for centuries more.”

Thank you, Fig... I wouldn’t have this without you.

“After everything you've seen? What about Isidora's fate?”

Isidora's fate? A fool chasing a hopeless dream, she and I are not the same.

“Isidora wasted her ability trying to save people from themselves. I will not let others dictate what I do with this- my power.”

I have been robbed of so much. A family, a home, my dignity, my agency, Lodgok, the first friend who understood what it was like to be crushed under heel.

I will not surrender anything to anyone else ever again. Please, understand.

“You cannot possibly mean that. You, of all wizardkind, are wholly aware of the misery and pain that that could cause!”

Fig... I'm sorry, but I can't give this up. Can't you feel it? That power, I need it, I need power. I’ve finally found something worth protecting. Worth my life. Worth every life. I can't lose them. I won't let anyone take what is mine ever again.

Not even you.

“I answer to no one. Avada-"

The Keeper gasped, their eyes flying open, heart pounding a mile a minute, feeling somehow restrained, and for a moment, they tensed in fear. Before noticing the faint snores by their ear and they remembered that they were in Dìon, sleeping in their new bedroom with Sebastian and Ominis... who had been fighting.

They cast their gaze over themselves and smiled, and yet, both boys were not only cuddled up to them, but also holding hands loosely across their chest. The soft rays of dawn lay gentle on the two, their faces peaceful and the Keeper was rather relieved to see that their partners, at least, were getting a restful sleep.

They released a slow breath, it'd been a long time since they'd dreamt of Fig, let alone a nightmare of killing him. The Keeper honestly wasn't sure why they'd had such a dream, was it what Ominis had implied the evening before? That Sebastian, and by extension themselves, were monstrous for wanting to continue using that energy. An energy created by human pain.

But would they have? If Fig had survived, if he'd decided that he needed to stop them, would the Keeper have fought him? Killed him?

They'd like to think they wouldn't have, that they would have found another way, but they weren't sure that was true. Perhaps the reason they weren't as offended by Ominis’ framing, unlike Sebastian, was because they felt it was warranted. They were no saint, they'd stolen, killed, sinned, anything to survive, to win.

Demonspawn. Sinful whore. Devil.

God, if he existed, had only hellfire for the Keeper's kind, and they'd come to terms with that a long time ago. Spat their defiance on Matron's precious cross, they hadn't been able to walk for a week after that, but they'd do it again. Forgiveness? How was it their fault that they had to suck dick to stay alive? Grace? Her God could keep his fucking grace, neither she nor He had protected them a whit.

Finding out that they weren't even human, that they were what those pathetic powerless muggles called heathen pagans, one of the witches and wizards they'd burnt at the stake, none of it had been a surprise. Of course they weren't a mere muggle, of course they hadn't fit in. They were never one of them to begin with.

Coming from a place that called all their kind demonic, made Ominis’ desperate wish to be accepted by society rather pointless in the Keeper's eyes. If in a separate group of humans, their very existence was evil, then what meaning did the term ‘evil’ even have? It was arbitrary and meaningless, a popularity contest that they refused to take part in.

They gazed at Ominis’ beautiful countenance, his cheek pressed sweetly against their arm, all curled up like a cat. Still, they couldn't find it in themselves to force him to face this, it was something he would have to come to terms with on his own, they could only protect him till then.

With a tired sigh, the Keeper considered closing their eyes and going back to sleep, when they realised that something was missing.

Frowning, they cursed under their breath, the armlet peeking out from between Ominis’ arms... wasn't glowing. Fuuuuuuck.

Ominis was going to be pissed. The Keeper sighed, well, that explained the dream at least, and the reason they felt a bit warmer than usual. Trying to get a good look at the armlet, they attempted to slip their arm out of Ominis’ grasp, but unfortunately, he didn't seem very happy about that.

“Mnm, warm...” Ominis grumbled, gripping their arm tighter and rubbing his cheek against their shoulder.

The Keeper smiled softly, cute. Well, at least until he frowned and mumbled. “Why are you so warm?”

Aaand so it begins, the Keeper sighed again, not a moment more peace to enjoy. “Well, love, it seems... that, while I was unconscious, I unintentionally took today's dose-”

Ominis shot upright immediately, though he seemed to have forgotten, or not noticed, that his hand was still attached to Sebastian's and the brunet was promptly awoken, as he was yanked halfway across the Keeper by his arm.

“Wha de-” Sebastian mumbled, blinking blankly at thin air with an adorably confused expression as his hand was dropped.

Patting the messy bush of hair on his head, the Keeper gave him a soft smile too and a kiss on the forehead. “Morning, Seb.”

He blinked at them with doe-eyes for several moments, his brain visibly struggling to catch up, before he yawned and dropped his head onto their chest with a barely audible. “...mor...in...”

Ugh, why is he so cute- the Keeper couldn't resist slipping a finger under his chin to lift it and leaned down to capture his chapped lips in a proper kiss, which he returned with a dazed moan.

“Can the two of you be serious for once?” Ominis sighed irritably as he raised his wand. “I can't cast diagnosa if you're in close contact.”

“Gimmieasec-” The Keeper gave him a mumble, pressing their lips to Sebastian's one last time before withdrawing, leaving him looking as confused as he did when he first woke up, and they nudged him upright with a bemused smile. “There, just sit still and look pretty.”

“Pfft... eashy.” Sebastian gave them a dopey grin, before yawning and stretching. “Whaz goin’ on anyway...”

“Ominis is upset that I accidentally took some Pain energy while asleep.” The Keeper answered, lying back down as Ominis cast Diagnosa on them.

“Oh.” Sebastian blinked, freezing in the middle of scratching his head. “Well, that blows.”

“I'm not upset.” Ominis snapped, and both Sebastian and the Keeper stared at him sceptically. “I'm worried.”

“Well, don't be, they kiss just fine.” Sebastian waved a hand at them with a grin. “Feel free to try for yourself.”

“Sebastian.” Ominis bit out through gritted teeth.

Not wanting to test his patience, the Keeper quickly sat up and slipped their fingers around his hand, clenched tightly around his wand. “And I'm sure you found that I'm quite alright, yes?”

“Well-” Ominis paused, pursing his lips together. “That's- that's the problem, I can't tell!”

The Keeper blinked and frowned as he shook their hand off, standing from the bed and pacing across the carpet in a fit of agitation. “Healers don't just magically know what it looks like when something is going wrong! All I see are elevated adrenaline levels, increased blood flow, heart palpitations, heightened activity in parts of your brain-”

He stopped and ran his hands through his hair, voice strained and eyes almost crazed. “And I don't know what any of it means for you!”

The pain and fear in his voice seemed to have blown the sleepy fog from Sebastian's brain and he tumbled from the bed, stumbling towards Ominis, before hesitating as though uncertain if an embrace would be well received. Which was probably reasonable, especially after Ominis rejected the Keeper's comfort.

“I'm sure we'll figure it out.” Sebastian tried, approaching Ominis like he was a wild animal. “That stuff is so powerful, if it were doing something bad, it'd be obvious even to us, and- and to them, who's experiencing it, right?”

“Merlin's balls, Sebastian.” Ominis groaned, so hard that it came out more like a sob. “They've already told us that it feels good to take! We can't trust their experience of it, do you think cancer patients realise they're dying till they're halfway there!? Do alcoholics know they're destroying their liver? And by the time it's obvious, it'll probably be irreversible!”

“Well, I've been taking it for two years already, surely that's long enough to be certain of its effects.” The Keeper reasoned, joining Sebastian in trying to soothe Ominis, who looked worryingly close to a breakdown. While he seemed to be more coherent after a good night's sleep, he was clearly no less distressed than the night before.

“We don't know how it works!” Ominis exclaimed. “Any negative effects could be something that culminates with consumption, compounding and building over prolonged use! Even if you're fine now, this constant energy use could have long-term effects!”

And there he goes again with the most extreme what-ifs, the Keeper gave him a helpless smile. “Well, that's not right now, and so that's something I'm willing to risk. To protect and preserve us , and to cure Anne. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.”

“How can you say that!?” Ominis shook his head.

“Because I'll do whatever it takes to protect our happiness.” The Keeper answered honestly.

At their words, Ominis bristled, his fear and stress turning to anger. How did they not understand what they were doing? Saying that they were hurting him for him. How cruel, was he supposed to feel grateful for this fear and pain?

“That's bullshite! My happiness necessitates both of you! You can only say that because you're not the one who'd be left behind!” Ominis burst out, fists tight and hot tears forming in his eyes against his will. Like aunt Noctua, it was so bloody worth it to die down in the Scriptorium, chasing the betterment of our family, at the risk of leaving me all alone in that house.

“The two of you can throw your lives away because you don't have to be the one left here alone!” Selfish, they were both so selfish, Ominis thought bitterly. Sebastian had been fine risking his life to save Anne, if he died, at least he wouldn't have to live through Anne's death, but he would leave me to mourn both of them.

“That's not-” Sebastian's voice cracked, and he took a shaky breath. “That's not the reason! We do what we have to because we don't want to leave you alone! How can you think that we- that I'd care so little about them, about you!?”

Ah, I'm doing it again. The sound of Sebastian crying, a few hours ago, echoed in Ominis’ mind. I'm hurting him again. Why is this coming out so wrong every time?

“...I'm sorry...” Ominis whispered. “I just don't know if I can keep doing this.”

“This?” The Keeper echoed warily.

“This! Us! All of it! I'm so scared that something will go wrong! Maybe we should just-” Ominis covered his mouth with a sob, his throat closing up around his words.

“A- are you saying you want- want to break-” Sebastian asked faintly, sounding like he couldn’t comprehend how this was even on the table.

“I don't know!” Ominis shouted, brushing tears from his eyes. “I can't help, but I can't not help. I don't want to know what you're doing, but I want to know so I can stop you, but I can't even do that! If I do nothing, I'm complicit in your demise, if I do something, I'm responsible if I fail. There's no winning anywhere in this!”

“I'm powerless.” Ominis murmured, a hysterical laugh bubbling up from within his chest. “Powerless then, powerless now. Nothing I do changes anything, I just want that feeling to stop. It would be better if I'd never been bor-”

His words were knocked right out of his mind, and his ears rang with the sharp bite of a slap. The impact reverberated through his skull, so all-encompassing and shocking that he barely felt the sting spreading across his cheek.

Then there were hands gripping his shoulders tightly and the Keeper's voice, more broken than he'd ever heard before, hissed in his ear in a harsh whisper. “Never go there. Nobody takes something that belongs to me, not even you. Without you, I'd easily make Gnarlak and Ranrok look like saints.”

The Keeper's words were heavy with dark promise and Ominis’ breathing was shallow, mind still rattled and uncomprehending as they cupped his burning cheek, the gentleness of their touch contrasting the force with which they'd slapped him.

“And you're wrong.” The Keeper continued, and he felt a strange sense of relief, of surrender at their words, he wanted to be wrong, yes, please- “You are not powerless in this relationship, you just can't see the power you have over us, because you can't compare it to how we would be without you here.”

There was a smile in their voice as the Keeper pressed their forehead against his. “I've told you before, we need someone sane in this relationship. Do you really think I could have overcome my addiction without your control and guidance? You know how greedy I am when there's something I want.”

A pair of warm arms embraced him from behind, wrapping firmly around Ominis’ waist, shaky breaths in his ear and wetness on his nape, Sebastian's chest firm against his back. “And I wouldn’t have been able to stay sane when Anne got cursed, if you weren't reminding me to eat and forcing me to sleep. If you weren't curled up next to me while I read forbidden tomes in the Undercroft. I'd have lost my mind.”

Their words sank slowly into his mind, as his breathing calmed, and Ominis couldn't help but release a soft huff. “I thought you were doing homework.”

“Well, sometimes.” Sebastian gave him a trembling laugh and without thinking, Ominis followed it with his own.

“If I cared more about my own feelings, I wouldn’t have stayed with you while the Keeper was off with Poppy last year.” Sebastian murmured after a moment's thought. “I'm not good at it, but I do try to think about how my actions affect you.”

“Even though I hurt you?” Ominis whispered, reaching up to touch Sebastian's cheek where it rested on his shoulder, damp with drying tears. “Even though I can't slow either of you down without hurting you every time. Even though I can't just be a good boyfriend and remind you to be careful and wait patiently for you to come home?”

“How dare you call our boyfriend anything less than perfect.” The Keeper prodded him in the chest. “And I don't know what you've been smoking, but what you're describing isn't easy. Not by a long shot. I wouldn’t be able to sit by and do nothing.”

“Sebastian did, he was worried too but he didn't try to stop you from taking more jobs, or try to... hurt you into stopping.” Ominis protested weakly.

“Excuse me.” Sebastian huffed. “Did you miss the second half of that? I didn't stop them, but I went with them, because doing nothing but waiting is agony. That's why I went with them to the pub, that's why I'm going with them on their next job. It's why I made the dagger for them and why I tried so hard to find a cure for Anne.”

“Doing nothing is torture for me.” Sebastian pressed a kiss to Ominis’ neck. “I'm sorry I didn't realise it was becoming torture for you too.”

“It... it didn't use to be.” Ominis admitted, a bitter chuckle emerging as he traced the shape of Sebastian's hands on his waist. “I used to feel better if I gave someone else responsibility. It doesn't work anymore. I don't know why, but I haven't been able to do that for a while, I can't escape this fear. I don't know how to handle it.”

“I'm sorry that we've made you feel alone in worrying, but you don't have to carry that alone.” The Keeper murmured, a sweet kiss of their lips against his. “We can help you find a way to manage it, together.”

Ominis felt his breath catch, tears welling in his eyes. “I- I don't, after every time I hurt you both in my fear, how can you forgive me? I don't deserv-”

“If you think anyone else could be in your position, could do any better in your position, you couldn't be more mistaken.” Sebastian interrupted. “It's enough that you know you've hurt us and don't want to, are trying not to, because we can help with that.”

“Sebastian...” Ominis turned in his arms, tracing his fingers across Sebastian's brow and cheeks to see his expression, chest tightening at the unmistakably gentle crinkle around his eyes.

“We shouldn't dwell on things we can't change, instead we can look to the future and consider ways to prevent bad things from happening again.” Sebastian pressed a kiss to his palm, and Ominis’ eyes widened at his words, the same words he'd spoken to Sebastian himself a little over a year ago, after his breakdown in Feldcroft.

“I've hurt you so many times over the years too, and you've always forgiven me and stayed by my side... and I loved you for that.” Sebastian's voice was a quiet whisper now. “Loved you since third-year.”

A small smile lifted Ominis’ lips. “And I've loved you since the end of our first-year.”

“That long?” Sebastian sounded surprised and Ominis nodded shyly.

“Well, I can't beat either of those.” The Keeper sighed, dropping their chin onto Ominis’ shoulder, now that it was free. “Between the two of you, I'm starting to feel left out.”

The familiar words got a laugh out of Sebastian, and Ominis could hear the wry smile in his voice. “A lot has changed since the first time I said that, hasn't it?”

“Really?” Ominis huffed dryly. “I feel like I'm still getting led around by you two.”

“I disagree.” The Keeper chuckled. “Have you forgotten how you kept me from killing the woman living just outside our territory?”

Ominis blinked, that's right, he'd felt it then, the hope that he had the ability to change the minds of Sebastian and the Keeper. To change their course of direction, that's why he'd tried to do it again, but it hadn't worked.

“Didn't manage to change your minds this time.” Ominis murmured bitterly, moving reluctantly when the Keeper tugged him towards the bed to sit down on its edge.

“Ominis, that's the problem, back then, we agreed on the goal and then discussed ways of getting there that satisfied all of us.” They pointed out. “This time, you jumped straight to changing our minds.”

“What else could I change, besides your minds?” Ominis asked, feeling a tad defensive at the implication that there was any option besides that. If he could think of one, he'd have suggested it by now.

“Well, we can discuss the facts of the situation and try to find something that we can change. You don't have to think of a solution alone.” Sebastian pointed out as he took a seat beside Ominis, while the Keeper remained standing.

“I want to keep taking the energy, but we have possible unknown negative effects to account for that would make it dangerous.” The Keeper hummed. “I feel like all we need to do is make the unknowns known.”

“But it's a fact that I can't know what a warning sign looks like, the point where I can tell that something is wrong would already be too late.” Ominis sighed, before pausing. Wait, too late? Would not then all he need do, be to see the effects accelerated, to see what ‘too late’ looked like?

But... that meant involving himself in the Keeper's human experiments. Worse still, finding his answers would require that they actively try to turn a subject into a monster or kill them by Pain energy overdose. Could he really do such an inhumane thing? Then again...

His mind returned to the scans he'd done on Macnair last evening. The boy's body was wasting away, frail and weak, his amygdala had completely ceased to function, and his endocrine system seemed to be damaged so severely that Ominis felt that he had no hope of recovery. Did Macnair even deserve it? He couldn’t imagine being in that condition, what suffering was the boy experiencing?

At the same time, Pain energy felt good to take, with his will empty, it would be safe to give him that energy without him trying to break out using its power, rather than injecting it painfully with the collar. Would that not be a mercy instead? To let the mindless boy experience one last taste of pleasure, ending his suffering with bliss.

“Macnair is not doing so well, what do you two plan to do with him?” Ominis asked tentatively.

Having been watching him deeply immersed in thought, the Keeper quickly caught on, quite surprised that Ominis would consider experimentation to overcome this obstacle. No, he wouldn't be able to do that, not consciously at least, they knew his mind well enough to know that. What was his angle?

Bringing up Macnair’s health... perhaps he was trying to frame his participation as charity, after all, the subjects were scum that were already in perpetual suffering, maybe he wanted to contextualise being a grim reaper as mercy. They did wonder how he would justify the pain of collar injection, but they could always help him out there.

Well, those were quite some mental gymnastics he was hoping to do, but hey, any effort from him to cooperate was welcome.

“He doesn't provide any energy thanks to his ripped aura, so I was considering attempting to stitch it up. Which would require pumping him with energy, like finding a leak in a cup by filling it.” The Keeper answered. “I don't have much other use for him, but I would keep him alive, just in case I have need of him.”

The Keeper smiled as they laid forth the bait for Ominis to take, and was satisfied when he frowned, saying. “I think it's quite cruel to keep him in a suspended state of suffering...”

The Keeper silently raised a finger to quieten Sebastian when his expression became indignant, mouthing a simple ‘wait’.

“...it would be kinder to end his suffering. I know you want to have more than one subject at a time, but you'll be acquiring a new one, yes?” Ominis asked, as though he were bargaining with the cruel cruel Keeper to entertain his benevolent petition on poor little Macnair’s behalf.

The Keeper gave him a fond smile, he was so cute, still clinging to those paper-thin illusions that only they could provide. “Yes, and I suppose since I'll be getting another shortly, Macnair’s death won't be too much of a loss, but I'd rather make use of him, even on his way out.”

They would give him what he needed.

Ominis smiled. “I was thinking that I could monitor his condition as you feed him energy, preferably C-Pain in the same manner you consume it. That way, I can compare its effects on a regular wizard to its effects on you as an Ancient Mage.”

As Ominis explained his suggestion, understanding began to dawn on Sebastian's face and his expression became slightly conflicted.

“Same manner, hm.” The Keeper frowned. “That runs the risk of making him too powerful for even myself to defeat. I would also need to find out what distinguishes a painful injection of Pain energy from regular consumption.”

“It has to be the same manner you do it. Otherwise, we can't be certain that our findings would apply to you.” Ominis insisted. “Without mind and willpower, surely he wouldn't be as much of a threat as Ranrok was, and you defeated him without the aid of Pain energy.”

He had a point, the Keeper folded their arms thoughtfully, though it was amusing to hear Ominis defending their strength when it was convenient for him, and Sebastian was staring incredulously at him for likely the same reason. Still, to what ends was he pushing so hard for this?

...it would be kinder.

He'd said ‘kinder’, not more merciful, perhaps that was it? Did Ominis think it would absolve him of being Macnair’s executioner if the boy got to die in power rather than in pain? That dying in pain was ‘cruel’? Well, the Keeper didn't see any particular difference, after everything they'd done to him, murder was murder regardless, but if it made Ominis feel better, boy did they not fucking care.

“Fair enough, I'll see if I can figure out what the difference between collar injection and consumption are, and if I can feed him C-Pain energy.” The Keeper nodded and both boys sagged in relief.

“Thank Merlin, we finally have a plan.” Sebastian groaned, flopping backwards on the bed. “I'm bloody exhausted.”

“I- well-” Ominis cleared his throat and tucked a strand of hair behind his ear sheepishly. “I suppose, I'm sorry... for- well, making this more difficult than it maybe had to be.”

“Nah.” Sebastian shook his head, reaching out to take Ominis by the arm and tug him down, while the Keeper reclined on the bed beside them.

Catching himself on his arms, Ominis blinked in surprise, hovering over Sebastian as the brunet grinned and lifted his head just enough to give Ominis a peck on the lips.

“It's good that you got it all out. I mean, I could do without getting hurt.” Sebastian chuckled when Ominis gave him an annoyed look. “But it happened how it needed to happen, we can always do better next time. I could've handled it better too. I just- you drive me crazy.”

“Do I?” Ominis murmured with a small smile, folding his arms on Sebastian's chest and resting his head on them with a peaceful expression.

“Obviously.” Sebastian rolled his eyes and propped his head up on an arm, brushing his fingers through Ominis’ messy blond strands.

There was a soft, and undeniably loving crinkle around the corners of Sebastian's eyes, as he gazed at Ominis, idly caressing his cheek for several minutes, fingers brushing across the little uneven patches of peach fuzz that were growing.

As he did, Ominis basked in the gentle soothing touches, until they stopped, and Sebastian released something between a huff and a sigh. Tipping his head curiously to the side, Ominis asked. “Sebastian?”

“Nnnngg, how long are you just going to stare at us like that!?” Sebastian suddenly burst out, his cheeks quite red, and the Keeper gave him a low chuckle.

“I'm just enjoying the view, don't mind me.” The Keeper assured with a broad and amused grin, continuing to observe the sweet scene as they lay casually on their side, head propped up on an elbow.

“Right. Ominis is the one who's blind, not me. Merlin knows what's going on in there.” Sebastian eyed them suspiciously, and at their silent, unflinching grin, gave an aggravated huff. “Fine, might as well give you something to look at then.”

Sebastian propped himself up on his elbows and pressed his lips against Ominis’, who chuckled softly as Sebastian rolled them over, so he could pin Ominis to the sheets.

“Sebas-” Ominis’ exasperated sigh was quickly smothered by Sebastian, the brunet straddling his thighs, eagerly slipping his tongue between Ominis’ lips to swallow his words.

Coaxing a quiet groan from Ominis as he ran his fingers down the blond's neck, and the Keeper would readily admit that this was indeed a much better show, and one they would most certainly never tire of watching. The brief flashes of heated muscle entwined within the spaces between their lips, the way Sebastian shuddered when Ominis’ hands travelled down to his hips, gripping firmly as he ground their waists together.

Exquisite.

Cheeks aflame, Sebastian's mouth left Ominis’ to gasp as the blond's hardening length rubbed against his, releasing a low moan at the sensation and pressing his lips to Ominis’ throat as he rocked back eagerly. Only for Ominis to make a soft sound of discomfort and crane his face away.

“Merlin's bea- your beard, Sebastian, is getting too much for this!” Ominis complained, shoving Sebastian's head a distance away with a hand. “Are you trying to sandpaper my jawline into shape?”

“Please don't, I think it's perfectly shaped as it is.” The Keeper snickered.

“Oh, come on, Ominis, it's just a bit of fuzz.” Sebastian grumbled, his words muffled around the palm pressed against his cheek.

“You call this a bit of fuzz!?” Ominis exclaimed, running his nails along the bristles on Sebastian's jaw and producing an amusingly loud scratchy sound. “I've no doubt you look like a vagabond right now.”

“The kind of handsome, roguish vagabond that will steal your heart and make off with your virginity?” Sebastian grinned and the Keeper burst into laughter at the unamused glare Ominis levelled at him.

“The kind of vagabond that is homeless and in dire need of a razor.” Ominis retorted.

“Well, I've been busy the last two mornings, and I wasn't exactly in the mood to shave last night, now was I.” Sebastian grumbled, and Ominis’ eyes immediately darkened.

The Keeper quickly interjected, before the atmosphere could sour. “Why don't you go brush and shave then? That way, you'll be able to give Ominis a blowjob if he sees fit to grant you the honour.”

Sebastian immediately brightened and he grabbed Ominis by the shoulders. “Alright, I'll clean up and then I'm finally gonna get to see what they're always raving about.”

“Wha- wait- I didn't agre-” Ominis stammered, his face completely red as Sebastian nearly flew off the bed and into the adjoining bathroom, before turning towards the Keeper with an incredulous expression. “You rave about my- my-”

The Keeper gave him an unrepentant grin. “You do have a lovely pecker, darling. Rather outstanding really, few are quite as fortunate in that regard.”

“Salazar save me.” Ominis muttered, covering his face and climbing out of the bed to follow after Sebastian. “Sebastian, I never agreed to anything!”

“Wai ‘ot?” Sebastian mumbled around his toothbrush.

“It would give him some incentive to take care of himself. Pups need something to strive for when in training.” The Keeper chuckled as they slipped around Ominis and into the bathroom to get their own toothbrush.

“Exac'ly!” Sebastian spat in the sink before pausing. “Hang on train-”

“My dick is not a carrot!” Ominis exclaimed.

“Of course not, it's closer to a lollipop.” The Keeper grinned, very much amused by this line of discussion.

Idly collecting their toothbrush, they began cleaning their teeth at the porcelain sink that stood on the left of the entrance to the large alcove bathtub, while on the right of it, stood Sebastian at the second sink, slathering his face with cream.

Ominis groaned and ran a hand over his face.

“Look, it's annoying!” Sebastian exclaimed as he quickly slid the razor over his jaw. “I have to waste ten minutes every morning or I'll start looking like my uncle. Surely, I deserve a reward when I actually do it.”

“Well, you're not the only one that has to shave. See there, I need a shave too.” Ominis gestured at the patches of fuzz on his chin and upper lip.

“Those tiny things?” Rolling his eyes, Sebastian strode over and took Ominis’ chin, rubbing some of the leftover cream into his skin with a thumb. “Alright, hold still.”

Ominis obediently stilled, and allowed Sebastian to deftly whisk off the few bristles that were present, the brunet complaining the whole way. “Come on, these are so fine and easy to shave... and you can go a whole week without shaving before they show up! See? Done.”

Sebastian wiped the remaining cream off with a towel and beamed proudly at his handiwork, before returning to the mirror and his own shaving. “Why are you so reluctant anyway? Don't you always complain about me talking too much?”

Ominis’ cheeks flushed, the sheer thought of Sebastian's mouth around him making it difficult to think through the swarm of feelings that that idea conjured. “It's just- it's hard to imagine I suppose.”

Finishing up with their morning routine, the Keeper stepped aside for Ominis to use that sink. “Don't you feel bad for Sebastian? He even helps you shave, such a good boy deserves a reward.”

Ominis sighed as he washed his face, and the Keeper handed him his toothbrush. “Fine, I suppose if you nutters want it so much.”

“Yes!” Sebastian hissed with excitement as he washed the cream and hair from his face.

Several minutes later, a rather adorably embarrassed Ominis was seated on the edge of the bed, looking like he was on the verge of passing out. While Sebastian knelt on a pillow, that the Keeper had passed him, between Ominis’ knees, lowering his sleeping pants to reveal his partially erect member.

Despite his earlier bravado, Sebastian seemed equally embarrassed as he ran his fingers lightly along the fine blond hairs that Ominis’ length was nestled in. Eyeing it with an almost resolute gaze for several moments, Sebastian leaned forward and gave his tip a firm lick, making Ominis jolt with surprise and release a soft moan, covering his face shyly a moment later.

The Keeper sighed, what was with this blushing maiden atmosphere? Somehow even after everything they'd done together, the two boys could still get all flustered like virgins. Was it because the Keeper wasn't involving themselves and just watching? Or because they weren't leading?

Now that they thought about it, every time the three of them had been together, it had been mostly propelled by the Keeper. Perhaps their partners had simply been emboldened by their unabashed attitude towards sex. With that in mind, it might be better for them to let the two boys explore at their own pace for once.

As the Keeper pondered this, Sebastian licked his lips nervously, quite encouraged by how quickly Ominis had hardened fully, before placing them tentatively against Ominis’ crown, and allowed it to slip past his lips.

At the warmth and sensation, Ominis released another shaky moan, Salazar save him, he really wasn't going to last very long. Just the idea that Sebastian, his proud Sebastian, was on his knees and taking his cock, was enough to make his head swim. His hands twitched, gripping tightly at the blanket he was sitting on, as he felt himself touch the back of Sebastian's throat.

He still remembered how good it'd felt, to thrust into the Keeper's throat, it had been almost scary, how quickly he'd lost control, but their confidence and skill had made it easy to get swept up in the heat, to forget his inhibitions. Sebastian wasn't nearly as confident or experienced as them and Ominis wasn't sure how far he could go. He didn't want to hurt Sebastian.

With a pinch of frustration, Sebastian lifted his head to take a breath, before trying again, pushing Ominis deeper into his mouth, but was once again unable to swallow enough to reach the base. He pressed on anyway, but quickly found himself gagging on it and had to lift his head again to cough. Goddammit, why was this so much more difficult than when he'd serviced the Keeper with his mouth?

“A- are you alright? Don't overdo it, Sebastian.” Ominis asked, trying desperately to hide how good it had felt when Sebastian's hot and wet throat closed around him uncontrollably, how much he wanted to shove the brunet's head back down to feel it again.

He'd never had the Keeper choke on him before, how could something so bad feel so good? The way Sebastian’s throat had rippled around him, pulsing and tightening, and Merlin- the sound. The sound of Sebastian choking, he could hear the wetness of his saliva clinging to his throat, feel it rolling down his cock to touch the sensitive skin of his balls.

“It's-” Sebastian cleared his throat, tears beading in his eyes. “It's fine, I'm alright.”

Without another word, he took Ominis into his mouth again, trying once more to take him further into his throat. The Keeper had done it, surely he could too. So, he struggled to hold his instinct to gag and pressed his head down harder, when Ominis’ hips bucked, and he promptly choked again.

“Sorry! I'm sorry!” Ominis immediately exclaimed, lifting Sebastian's head himself, and baulking at the tears he could feel against his thumbs.

However, as Ominis’ hands moved automatically to clean the fluids from Sebastian's face, he couldn’t stop himself from shuddering at the expression the brunet was wearing. Sebastian looked absolutely wrecked, eyebrows slanted upwards, his mouth hanging open, lips stretched wide from his cock. As guilty as he felt, Ominis knew he'd never forget the image his hands had shown him.

“‘S fine.” Sebastian mumbled, coughing and swallowing, a little dazed by how hot that had felt, his prim and pompous Ominis ramming his cock into his mouth like that.

Sebastian was starting to see why the Keeper liked blowing Ominis. Though, the choking he could probably do without, at least for now, while he still didn't know what the fuck he was doing.

With that, he turned slightly to ask the Keeper, who had been suspiciously silent the entire time. “How do you do it?”

“Do what, love?” The Keeper asked absently in return, a tad occupied committing everything they'd just witnessed to memory, especially Sebastian's fucked out expression. So, Ominis actually liked choking, good to know.

“Well, take Ominis... all the way.” Sebastian replied with an adorable squirm of the hips, likely rubbing himself against the tent in his sleeping pants.

The Keeper chuckled fondly, ever the overachiever of course. They paused to think, well, they did have the bed, it'd certainly be far more comfortable to start with, and it wasn't like Sebastian had to worry about how vulnerable the position was, unlike they had, and it'd give Ominis more control.

“You want to straighten out your throat. Here.” The Keeper stood and helped Sebastian to his feet. “It'll be easier if you lie down on your back, with your head hanging off the edge.”

Sebastian obediently followed their instructions as the Keeper also took Ominis’ hand and guided him to stand, wrapping their arms around his waist and pressing against his back as they whispered into his ear. “And you can stand here and fuck his throat.”

“Isn't this a little dangerous? He can't move away.” Ominis asked worriedly, though his expression and the way his length twitched made it obvious how much he liked the idea.

“It's alright, I can just tap your leg if I need to breathe.” Sebastian patted Ominis’ thigh, his half-lidded eyes heated as he regarded Ominis’ erection, hanging just inches from his lips, and his tongue darted out to lap at it.

Ominis gasped at the sensation and offered no further protest as the Keeper held his length in position and used their own hips to nudge Ominis’ forward, watching in delight as his hardness slid smoothly into Sebastian's throat.

“Oh-” Ominis moaned as he buried himself in, all the way to the base. The Keeper took his twitching hands, and placed them on the bulge in Sebastian's throat, before letting go as he began, of his own accord, to trace the shape of his own erection stretching Sebastian's skin.

“Doing alright down there?” The Keeper asked, and Sebastian flashed them a thumbs up, making an affirmative sound around the obstruction in his throat and getting another moan from Ominis as a result.

Chuckling, the Keeper murmured into Ominis’ ear, lapping teasingly at the shell. “There, you can let go, love. Stop thinking and do what feels good.”

With a keening sound in his throat, Ominis tentatively moved his hips, drawing back slightly, before pushing in again, shuddering as his sensitive tip rubbed against the back of Sebastian's tongue. The hollow squelch of his cock sealing the inside of Sebastian’s throat, creating a vacuum, a space where only he could pass through, the thought of pouring his seed inside Sebastian making his mind melt.

Ominis couldn’t help but rock harder into him, panting from the heat that was building in his body, the Keeper's warm chest against his back, their hands slipping under his shirt to rub and tug at his sensitive nipples. It feels so good-

He felt a few taps against his thigh, as Sebastian's throat closed around him again, and for a moment, it failed to register in Ominis’ mind, but as the Keeper tugged his hips backwards with a firm grip, he recalled its meaning. The air felt cold on his dick, after being inside Sebastian's warmth, but he was grateful that the Keeper had helped him stop.

“T- thank-” Ominis muttered as he turned his head to the side, and the Keeper captured his lips with their own, while Sebastian coughed and gasped for breath.

Releasing Ominis’ lips, the Keeper murmured gently. “Try to keep a consistent rhythm and pull out every four thrusts to let him breathe.”

Swallowing thickly, Ominis nodded, while Sebastian gave a weak laugh, and asked. “You were counting?”

“I was.” The Keeper chuckled, taking Ominis’ length and guiding him back into Sebastian's mouth, purring into Ominis ear. “Aren't you two lucky to have me.”

Moaning softly, Ominis nodded automatically, as they gripped his hips and guided him in at a languid pace, his fingers wrapping around their wrist and spasming as he fucked Sebastian's throat at their coaxing. It was a struggle to keep counting through the haze of pleasure and it helped to have their guidance, especially when it became more difficult to stop every time Sebastian choked.

Though, he was actually rather glad for the need to keep track of his thrusts, it was probably the only reason that he hadn't come yet. The feeling of Sebastian's hot and tight throat around him was amazing, the knowledge that he couldn’t do anything but lie there and take his cock, insane.

This was the same Sebastian who never stepped back from a fight, letting Ominis use his body for his pleasure, groaning around his cock, the taut skin of his throat stretching under his palm with every thrust.

“He's touching himself.” The Keeper's voice murmured into his ear and Ominis released a confused sound, having a hard time processing their words with his lust clouded mind, and they chuckled. “Sebastian, he's touching himself as you fuck his throat, he's so hard just from this.”

The moment he understood, Ominis released a loud moan, reaching his peak immediately, and his erection throbbed in Sebastian's mouth as his seed spurted down his throat. Unable to stop himself from burying his length as deep as he could go and holding himself there for a shuddering moment. Feeling ecstasy flood his body as Sebastian choked on his cum, before remembering that he was stopping Sebastian from breathing and quickly pulled out.

“Sor- sorry, I should- should have warned you-” Ominis gasped, leaning against the Keeper as his knees went weak.

“No, no. I take full responsibility for that.” The Keeper chuckled from behind him, flicking their wand and casting a quick Anapneo charm to clear Sebastian's throat quickly.

After panting for a few seconds, Sebastian gave them a small pout from where his head still hung upside down, his voice rough and thick. “Aw, I wanted to swallow that.”

Ominis released a sound that was somewhere between a squeak of surprise and a moan, while the Keeper laughed and reached down to pat Sebastian on the cheek. “There's always next time.”

He nuzzled at their hand with a hum. “How do you just keep going without needing to stop to breathe?”

“It's possible to breathe while giving a blowjob, it takes some... practice to get the right timing. But not everyone can, so don't feel bad if you don't manage it.” Straightening and placing a kiss on Ominis’ flushed cheek, the Keeper flashed Sebastian a wide smirk. “Now, my turn.”

Seeing it from his spot on the bed, Sebastian swallowed, and his erection twitched in his grip.

“How long will he have us play the villain so he can be the saint?”

“However long he needs it.”

“Does it not hurt?”

“A tad, but I take comfort in knowing that it's an illusion and that he needs it. Are you willing to deny him an illusion so vital to his mental wellness? We all know what it is, even him, somewhere deep down. And now that you understand that he believes it for his own sanity, not because he really sees us as despicable, does it not hurt less?”

“I suppose so...”

“Chin up, my love. I'm sure it won't be forever, he just needs time, and this will keep him with us and happy till that day comes.”

“...you're right, it just- it does still hurt, and it'll take time to get used to remembering that it's an illusion for him. That he doesn't actually think we're cruel. But you're right, it's worth it. He's worth it.”

“Good, I'm glad you agree. Now go get the bottle to feed Shai.”

“Ugh, Ominis is worth getting hurt for, but I'm not sure this one is...”

Notes:

Ominis: I'm a bad person? *cries* The Keeper: I'm a bad person? You're right bitch. Sebastian: I'm not bad, you're bad, fuck you.

I hope no one gets offended by the Christian abuse stuff, I mean, it's historically accurate and I think the Keeper's response is a rather common response to aggressive religious abuse. Particularly considering the circumstances.

In a way, the Keeper's mentality is a progressive/globalised perspective, in one country's culture, A might be “good” but in another culture it's “bad”, once we realise and understand that neither are right nor wrong, just different ways of living and doing things, we actually become more accepting and kinder towards ourselves and each other. Plus, if you call someone bad even when they try their best, why would they keep trying?

FYI, the amygdala is the part of the brain that processes emotion and the endocrine system is responsible for releasing hormones like dopamine, that manage our emotions as well.

Here's a thing about decision making. Our human brains are super defensive and (like with anxiety) tend to overcompensate to keep us from making mistakes, and often, its arguments are not even rooted in reality to begin with.

Studies have shown that when trying to decide if we should take an action or not, our brains simulate the worst case possible and we get hit with the pain of that worst case scenario immediately. Like, on the spot. Whereas when simulating the potential good result, we don't experience the joy/satisfaction/achievement from it.

And on top of that, the pain of failure is multiplied by 2 (or more) during simulation while positive results are halved in emotional value. This means that we're not making our decisions objectively, they're vibes based rather than looking at the reality of the situation.

To make things worse, when stressed or fatigued, our amygdala gets even more sensitive and we can become even more ridiculously pessimistic and afraid to take any action.

That's why when someone is going off on a panic attack, you need to calm them down first before trying to reason with them. (Preferably not with a slap.) People need to feel good in order to think rationally, which sucks when the decision that needs to be made is the thing causing stress xP

In this chapter, Ominis basically chooses whether he wants to be like his parents or not. Victims of abuse, especially children, tend to either become like their abusers or swing the opposite way.

His parents were very black/white simplistic in their logic, “if you don't obey us and be a muggle torturing evil person, it means you don't love/respect us”. So by default he's like that too, “if I ask you to stop because you're upsetting me and you don't, it means you don't care about me”. Rather than considering that there might be other options if discussed or that people could have reasons they can't stop that don't mean you matter less, but that those other reasons matter more.

He understands, deep down, that his parents hadn't manage to force him to become like them, all they ended up doing was hurt him. The problem is that Ominis genuinely doesn't know what to do if someone doesn't do what he wants, all his examples were either his parents’ “hurt them till they do it”, or Solomon and Anne's “cut ties”. He doesn't have good examples of the correct option “compromise and discussion”. So this chapter, was him understanding that there was always a third option there.

I wonder if anyone caught that the Keeper's last line in the dream “I answer to no one.” Mirrors Ranrok's line “Goblinkind shall answer to no one.” The classic fear of becoming the monster you beat xD

So, if a dick is too big, breathing through the nose in the brief flash of pull-out-for-next-thrust, won't be possible, but if anatomy allows for it, the dick wielder needs to is keep a stable rhythm and the blower can breathe in-between. Or just pause to let the blower breathe, yo. This work will not be responsible for death by dick.

Also, wow that blowjob scene was hard to keep gender neutral for the Keeper, but I'm pretty proud of it xD

Making it ambiguous if Sebastian found the Keeper easier to blow because they aren't as long/thick as Ominis or because licking pussy is easier than not choking on dick. Leaving it up to readers if the Keeper's “my turn” refers to them taking a go at Sebastian's throat themselves or if they're afab and take Sebastian's place to let Sebastian have a go at their throat or even sit on his face.

Whatever answer you chose, it's the right answer. That's what progressive means xD Just kidding, sort of xP

P.S. Isn't Sebastian shaving Ominis so cute?

Also the outward appearance versus internal sexual dynamic here is so funny; Ominis: looks like an angel - has the filthiest mind Sebastian: cheeky bastard - wears a romantic rosy filter over his eyes Keeper: stoic - non-stop maniacal "mine mine mine" chant

Many thanks once again, to my Patreon, cheeky_idler, for naming Shai as a Paid member with voting & suggestion power! ;)

[chevvy-ryder]

3rd or 4th week in a row where I told myself: "today I'll play the game (and update before) add mods and take new vp."

I think this Sunday it won't happen either. As it started with I got up way too late, got distracted by trying to catch up on what I've missed yesterday and now it's already 13:30.

Guess I have to accept that currently I'm just not in the mood nor hyped to boot up the game at all (even tho I miss my boys hard).

Besides that I see my other projects:

still a bunch of unpublished vp

unfinished fic parts

rp for main story where I have to answer since months …

mood boards

spotify playlists (almost done)

a lot of drafted posts are still waiting to get ready with descriptions and tags to push the button

asks I gotta answer (currently no vigor)

are still construction sites and I feel more doing this instead than just producing another ton of screenshots to add to the construction site.

Gonna have a short next week:

Mon-Wed: work

Thursday: day off, also my birthday (yay, ugh)

Friday: day off: potential try to update and add new mods?

then is weekend with Christmas: hopefully only away on 24th

1st and 2nd Christmas day: hopefully I do nothing and just stay home (possibility to play the game and take vp)

Then another week of work (should be calm tho)

then is New Years eve already where I intend to visit a friend

So if you don't see me that active, you know why.

I will try and make some drafts ready to be sceduled and peak in from time to time but I'm a bit more inactive. So if you think I don't like your content anymore, it's just because I can't catch up with 99+ posts each day on my dash and have to decide if I wanna chill scrolling tblr all day or be productive and get my own shit finished instead of adding only more to the pile. It's that simple. One day the posts will pop up again on my dash and I will reblog them then.

Also if you want me to see something: a. feel free to tag me (tblr likes to not notify me tho) b. feel also free to send me a direct link. c. feel free to contact me on my discord

Some blogs I follow i have notifications turned on so my phone tells me the blog owner posted but it's just my closer friends and mutuals.

[elliespuns]

I was wondering, would you mind introducing yourself a bit? Your age, hobbies (except for blogging of coure), music taste, your favorite movies, etc? I love the content you post and i love you and I don't even know you. I wanna know my favorite blogger.. lol. Only if you're okay with it

First of all, thank you for such a lovely compliment. I love you too and I don't even see your blog, mate!

To answer you; I was answering something similar once. This anon sent me questions and I filled them in, so if you allow me to just copy and paste those so I wouldn't have to type it all again (nothing has changed since then, honestly) then I'll be happy to oblige.

How old are you? I'm 30

Tall or short? Very short, I'm only 5'1 ft, 1,56 m

Sexuality? Eh, I don't like labeling myself but if I HAD TO, it'd say bisexual/demisexual.

Describe yourself briefly I'm an introverted dork that doesn't vibe with most people. I dig music, art, and I love a lot. I either love too much or not at all. I've been vegan for over 10 years now and I love funny people. Other than that, I'm just a very poetic soul that also loves to play video games from time to time and I write. I write a lot.

Something you like about yourself? I'd say it's my knowledge in English. I've been self 'learning' it for 9 years now (never been abroad) and I was able to learn the language to the point where it became a huge part of my life. Like I literally use it more than my mother language. That's a thing I'd say I like about myself.

Favorite hobbies outside your blog? I write; creative writing, poetry. Both fulfil my mind. Then I love reading (ofc). I also draw, play video games, work with graphic programs and I love taking pictures.

Something no one would guess about you I have a very high sex drive, lmao 🫣😂 and people would never say so about me, because I literally look like I have a ribbon buckled to my vagina.

Weird quirks you have Oh, god, I can't stand hand cuts. Like you can literally show me a video of someone having their throat slit and I'll be fine, but then you show me a vid of someone having their palm sliced, or simply just someone cutting their finger and I'll go all asdfghjklsdfghjk.

One talent you wished you had Damn, I wish I could draw from imagination. I can draw but I can't seem to draw anything just by trying to see it in my head. That's so fucking frustrating. And weird. Anyone else having this problem?

A word your friends would use to describe you Idk about one word, but my best friend says I'm the funniest person she has ever met, so does that count? Lol, Idk why she says this. I'm literally a potato.

Craziest thing that's ever happened to you Omg, trauma alert… when my boss (a 70 year old male) caressed the top of my head telling me I'm pretty.

Have you ever been in love? Yes, for over 10 years now (no, it's not a fictional character, lol).

What is your biggest fear? Fuck, it's hurricanes and tornados. I actually have a phobia, it's called 'ancraophobia' and it's a fear of strong wind. (I swear I don't fear normal wind tho, I'm not that weird, actually, ok?).

Why did you start this blog? When I came here one day I realized that there were only a few blogs that were dedicated to the game stuff. So I said why the hell not? I didn't expect to have an actual fanbase here, it's crazy. Love you guys.

Your favorite food? Lentils, that's the shit.

Least favorite food? I'd say meat.

Favorite TV shows? Okay, not gonna mention TLOU cause it's obvious, but the very first show that pops into my mind every time is Breaking Bad. I love this show to bits. Then I also love TWD, OITNB, Better Call Saul, Wentworth, This Is Us, Lost, The Killing.

Favorite movie of all time? My most favorite movie of all time will forever be Ginger Snaps (2000). I've loved this movie ever since I was 11. It's been 19 years ever since and I still love it to pieces. Aaaaah!

Favorite musicians? I love a lot of music, but my most favorite is Damien Rice. I love that guy and what he does. Right behind him are Cigarettes After Sex and Mazzy Star (just pure love). Then it would be Joshua Radin, The Hope Arsenal, Yaeow, The Paper Kites, The Smiths, R.E.M., Blur, BoDeans...

Do you have any pets? My chonky boi guinea pig.

[coffeeandbatboys]

Heya. Dont mean to be a bother, to my understanding you lost steam on writing out the last of the requests for the 400 followers celebration. Life happens, totally understandable. Just wanted to see if there's any update people missed on the status of them? since the last update is from Sept 16th. which again, totally chill if not. just curious is all!

Hey, thanks for reaching out! And ofc you're not a bother.

I really really wanted to be able to write those matchmakers and headcanons. And I am so, so sorry. Unfortunately, life had other plans (please forgive me for not updating on the fact that I am now on an extended-partially-indefinite hiatus)

An incident happened irl. I'm okay. My friends are okay. But it freaked the hell out of me. And I don't want to dwell on it.

It also started eating me up just how much time a day I was spending online (I wanna say between Tumblr and other platforms it was a solid 8-10 hours a day). Which would be fine I guess if I was retired or not working at least. But. I had a wakeup call in the middle of the night a few weeks ago that I have been spending so much time in the online world that I really need to just cut myself off from those platforms and get back into real life. I cannot believe how distant I had let so many of my close relationships get over the summer.

And you'll never guess what happened next. I fell in love (my semi-leaving was 100% only my decision, so that I could better focus on the relationship among other things). I also pretty much inadvertently ignored my best friend for half the year so...I dont wanna let that happen again.

So, TL;DR, Coffee got a vibe check. Coffee found a real man to cuddle with. Coffee is now trying to be a responsible and prioritized adult. I honestly have no idea if I'll be back full time or not. I'm popping in every so often to check on things (or like the new piece posted on my art blog yesterday). I love y'all, but for now I'm gonna be sticking close to home

Again I want to apologize to those who didn't receive the answers to their matchmakers. Hopefully some day I'll get them written and thrown up here. Maybe when things are a little less crazy <3

See y'all later, with love

Coffee

[fantoccia]

Hello everyone. This is something I've actually been considering for some time and I've decided to finally give it a go.

As of right now, Angie and Donna and Moreau are all on hiatus. I'll probably still check in now and then out of habit, but don't expect much from me.

Honestly, a lot about Tumblr rp has weighed on me for a little while now and I find myself getting unhappy over various things here and there. But I still logged in because I did make a lot of friends here and well. I've been at it so long, I kind of didn't really know what else to do? It's been something I've kind of wanted to do, kind of not wanted to do... But I've been putting off trying it long enough now that I might as well try it and see what the other side is like.

No, this isn't a direct reaction to anything. It's honestly been a long time coming now. I obviously need to focus on myself and try to get myself into a better place and I don't think Tumblr rp is going to help me. I'd argue it's actually been a sort of vice to me for the past two or three muses- at least a decade. People may joke about internet addiction sometimes, but I think I may have some form of it and I want to try to shake it.

So thank you to those that enjoyed playing with me! Thank you to everyone that were patient with me! I'm happy that I was able to play Angie in a way that you could like her and maybe the next time you play RE:VII you'll think of my girl just a little! <3

I'm gonna maybe pop in here or there the next few days before really trying to avoid things. Even when I'm gone, those that I talk to frequently may be allowed to NPC her if you ever feel the urge to. I'll still be on Discord so you can always ask if you can there! I won't even mind some ic chats! If you don't have my Discord and wish to talk, feel free to message me for those deets.

With all that said, I'll also say... Again, I'm a creature of habit and I'd dare call this addicting. If I do wind up coming back after a pretty short period of time, I'd really appreciate it if you don't make a big deal about it ha. This really is something I'm gonna have to focus on and I just might fail. But in the end, I am hoping that I will come back after some time. How long, I'm not sure, but hopefully when I've worked on myself and I can do better!

In the meantime, my main blog is @marthfador and so is my Twitter (X lol) but I admit my time on there is sporadic. I've got a few other little social media type things, feel free to ask if you want to know where I'm at!

Thanks again for all the fun we've had! I'm glad to have met you all!

[itsjustagoober]

So, uhhhhhhh.

Howdy y'all. Been a minute since I've really been around here. I mean, yes I've been reblogging and stuff, but like...that's roughly all the time I've had to do? Just pop in for a bit or so, reblog and head off again.

Gonna do my best to keep it short, but I'll also put it under the cut to keep the base post short to most. Here goes nothing, I guess?

TL;DR: A family emergency back in June literally caused my entire summer, which I had originally planned to be my most creative and focused time for projects and art and stuff, to be watching after and living with a family member up until the first week of October to make sure they would be okay. I then took a week vacation this past week to visit my girlfriend and I was so relaxed I didn't do anything else, either. I am gonna need time to get back into the groove on here as I process and reassess what I wanna do for my blogs for the rest of the year and from here out.

To start, I am very glad that I made sure my great uncle was fine for sure, the whole time I was living with him. I just also realized that, now that it's over, being his immediate caretaker for three-to-four months? Life really stole my summer and everything fun I wanted to do this year. It sucks. It's not entirely his fault, but hrrrrmgle.

So, June. I was hearing how wet and frequent his coughs were and was trying to get him to go to Urgent Care/go see his primary (which he assured me he didn't have one when I always am the one making his appointments for him), but he continued to refuse and fight me the entire way. He does this to everyone who tries to tell him how to do something he doesn't want to hear, so I just took it and knew he'd realize sooner or later this was a losing battle on his side.

That came the day he went for his dentist appointment and he ended up having a cardiac episode in the chair before they started. They called me right back and I took him to the hospital. They gave him so much stuff to bring his heart rate down, like holy shit. Thankfully, since the dentist didn't start with anything, there was nothing to worry about with drugs fighting with other drugs. I stayed there until his stepdaughter finally got off of work and I was allowed to go home after a pretty draining and traumatic day.

Oh, that reminds me. I said it wasn't wholly his fault about how this summer turned out. That's because there's another character here, his stepdaughter. She will be referred to as S from here out. While I'm at it, Great Uncle will also be R and S' daughter will be K. K is pretty cool, though, so you probably won't see her here as much as the other two, considering.

So, S is an interesting lady. She is about as old as my mother and acts like she's 22 still. Nothing against her wanting to be that way, but it made it very difficult to genuinely talk with her or see her at any point that wasn't on her time and when she was in town. Most of the summer, she barely came to visit despite everything. Every weekend, she went out partying or camping or out of town/state because she couldn't handle all the stuff with R. You can guess who that fell to, obviously. And the fact that S assumed I was gonna take care of him for her anyway, bleh. Yes, as he's family and I care about the people I care about, but assuming all that and I had to find this out later and from someone else? Not a great impression there.

Took a dinner break here, so where was I? I visited him in the hospital when I could, mostly. He was moved around so much and going through procedures and the like I barely caught him in passing. The day he was let out and moved to rehab, however, I was sure to go visit him ASAP. I made sure he was settled, met the nurses taking care of him and the schedules for medication.

He didn't have an amazing time there, according to him. However, this is because of two very important details: He didn't want to be there and wanted to be home already and that he needed to complete rehab to get home. You can probably imagine where this is going, yes. He refused to do his bare minimum of exercises and the like and then wondered why they were keeping him longer, even though they wanted to see him go and make a full recovery.

Another detail that's important is that one of the doctors in the hospital sent him to rehab with a defibrillator vest. This doctor apparently didn't explain it to him, any of his nurses at the hospital, none of them at the rehab center and most of all, me. So, this was a 6-pound burden for us all that reeeeally pissed him off especially. The damn thing would beep for any reason and while there was a book for each beep, every message shared the same beep! You wouldn't know the reason until you cross-checked the manual! And the damn battery pack kept nailing him in the shin, too. Augh.

Eventually, after a short time and a big tantrum from him that required S and I to be there for his patient review (in which S also had a breakdown because of this), he finally realized he couldn't get out until he kept the vest on and did the harder exercises to build up enough strength to be let go to go back home. And then he was, about the second to last week of August. And that's when I moved in to be his caretaker and help him with stuff around the house while he got used to it again.

The longest part came next, all his follow-ups with doctors he saw in the hospital to give him a clean bill of health to drop the defibrillator vest fully or drop it to get an internal one installed. All these follow-ups took end of August through to the end of September and his patience for everything was so worn thin. Every little thing agitated him and he never wanted to do anything extra outside of what he HAD to do. It was very frustrating for everyone involved trying to help him, myself included.

Finally, we came to October 2nd. The day he finds out about the vest and his medical stuff going forward. We go in and see the doctor. He's a very nice man and he's doing his best to do his job and let R know that, while he should be okay to take off the vest now, he needs to still be careful as he could plummet in health at any moment if he overdoes anything or even does super nothing (ya know, stagnant type nothing). Of course, R only heard that he could take the vest off and that's what he was waiting for. He was suddenly very energetic and headstrong that the doctor then quickly tried to let him know we'd still need to see him in a few months and make sure everything is okay. He even offered we come in later in the week for him to get a light defib shock to fix his heart rate from afib.

This, of course, is not what R wanted to hear. He was done, as far as he was concerned, and didn't want to do anything else. It started with a 'No.' and soon turned into a full screaming match, only from his side, to the doctor just trying to make sure he'd be alright going forward. Once the doctor realized there was nothing he could do to change R's mind, mostly from a motion from me that it wasn't worth the argument, he dismissed us as professionally as he could and everything. We left and I grabbed his card, just in case anything happens, ya know?

We're downstairs and he's so proud of himself for that outburst. He got what he wanted to hear and wasn't going to take anything else for anything he didn't want to hear or realize. We went to lunch and I just sort of clammed up for the rest of the day because it wasn't worth the effort. He didn't apologize after he calmed down or anything. He was just so proud of himself and it pretty much made me feel nauseated.

Since that was just a week or so ago from this, he started to get a big head. He was good to go and didn't need anymore doctors or meds and or anyone to help him. He started getting visibly and vocally frustrated with me, so I figured that was a good time for a short break from each other. Went back once or twice to get my stuff like clothes and food from living there for two-to-three months and then saw him off that last Saturday for October 7th. I was so anxious and everything, especially with hoping he'd be alright while I was gone.

I told S and K I'd be taking a week vacation and then go back to pre-cardiac episode (once a week every Wednesday or whatever day if he had appointments). Never heard back from S, but I thanked me for everything I had done all summer and said my kindness and love would be paid back in time. One of my great aunts, married to one of R's brothers, said the same thing. I believe them both when they said that too. I didn't need it, but I guess affirmation and validation that I did a good thing was worth it, after all it had taken out of me.

And then I went to Missouri to visit my girlfriend (@somechubbynerd ) for a week. I was so relaxed and so forced to not do anything I didn't have to that I sort of just existed in a time and limbo of bliss? I have high anxiety as it is and, not feeling it for the first time in years, I sort of didn't know what to do with myself?

My girlfriend helped loads with that, though, by guiding me through places she wanted to take me and spend time with me. We cuddled and watched YouTube together. We baked cookies and made a chicken fettuccine dinner together. We went to the zoo together and then to one of her favorite restaurants in the same day. She made me so at ease and helped me be myself for once that I sort of just was so mind-numbed into pure bliss and peace with myself.

It felt great, looking back, but I just genuinely didn't know what to do about it. I hadn't felt that in years and I am still feeling it as I write this now. It feels so nice and so calming. This is awesome, given that I actually went in to urgent care for a panic attack that was gonna put me out for a few days, back in June/July. It sucked so much, but I'm glad they helped me recover so quickly. I couldn't afford to be down for too long. I am so essential to everyone around me and to be there for them, even if I know that they all can't always be there for me.

My girlfriend, as well as a few others, made me realize I probably need to start saying no more. Not because it's to be a bastard, but I can't give myself away like this again and again and get so little in return or no time to recover from the last thing. Obviously, I should still do stuff on a basis I choose, but yeah. Maybe I should say no a little more. It also made me realize that, while not anyone's particular fault, my summer was stolen from me. This summer was planned between my girlfriend and I, as well as a few mutual friends, to work together on art, writing and projects we have been invested in for a year or more and have to keep putting off due to life and work stuff. This was gonna be the summer we were all available...and then we weren't.

I'm still processing these last three months and the year or more so far, since I finally had a break long enough to realize what's going on with myself and my life and someone to bounce my thoughts off of that I couldn't with family. It has opened my eyes a bit more about my circumstances and what the near future might hold for me. I miss my girlfriend so much already and I felt so bad I wasn't crying as much as she was when she had to drop me back off at the train station, but I guess I was still processing it too?

Yeah, still processing things. Probably for a bit, too. I'll probably need some time to ease back into things here. All my blogs and what I was doing before sort of disappearing for a long time and also being interrupted from a lot of threads I wanted to continue or even start. I hope you all can be patient and understanding with me and I'll do my best to do the same. I love y'all and nothing will ever change that, okay? I just need some time to figure myself out again. Yeah. Just need more time...

[manysmallhands]

Top Albums of 2024: #30 - #21

Welcome to my albums of the year posts! This will come in four(ish) sections: firstly this one, followed by numbers #20 - #11 which will be in the same format. From there on in, #10 to #1 will all have a longer post of their own but i will post them in two rounds: from #10 - #6 and then #5 to #1. I put a lot of work into doing these but if you click on this and then find that you just don't want to read them (and who does? if you have a blog, i probably haven't read it) just use my randomly scribbled words to assess the situation in brief and maybe press play: you might find that you like something.

Before i start, i just wanted to throw in a bubbling under list, consisting of a few albums i've liked this year that haven't made the cut for various reasons which i'll list as i go:

Beyoncé - Cowboy Carter (Country, RnB) - too long and rambly but some points were made

Wallice - The Jester (Indie pop, singer-songwriter) - not listened to it enough to say much but i think it's good

FLO - Access All Areas (RnB) - ditto

Kendrick Lamar - GMX (Hip Hop) - not entirely sure that i enjoy it all that much but there are certainly some tunes here: it requires further listening

SZA - Lana (RnB) literally just put it on now and it's alright isn't it

With that, i'm just gonna get on with them

#30. Cosmorat - Evil Adjacent 

Indie, Altpop

There’s a certain glitchiness and sense of menace that reminds me of Jockstrap on Cosmorat's debut EP, with singer Taylor Pollock coming off like the kind of girl who used to pull the wings off of flies and has since moved onto bigger and nastier targets. Evil Adjacent is pretty genre fluid so that not only do you not know how the next song is going to sound but the one that yr listening to can become unpredictable at a moment's notice. "Backseat Baby" is a banger of a single but it was the creepy chamberpop of "No Sleep" that caught my ear and there’s enough indie and altpop experiments here to suggest that they’ve got plenty left in the tank. 

#29. Kenya Grace - The After Taste

Dance pop, Club music

Kenya Grace’s first EP is a sort of concept record, a sad girl drum n bass song cycle where the highs of the dancefloor are replaced (or augmented) with the melancholy of someone trying to cling onto love. Viral hit "Strangers" is an obvious pointer with its fleeting relationships that can vanish in a moment but there’s plenty of other strong material here too, with the warmer indieish vibes of "Someone Else" and banging closer “Only In My Mind” both fuelled by tearful fantasies of impossible romance. Nominally I guess she's looking towards the club scene but The After Taste feels more like the kind of record that you might put on when you’ve been dumped and need something to drunkenly sway around to in the kitchen.

#28. Kali Uchis - Orquídeas

Dance pop, Latin pop

Kali’s semi-Spanish language album is probably at its best the more Spanish it gets. There’s lots of fun dancepop bops at the beginning with a liquid summer vibe that the sweat just seems to pour off of, but tbh things starts to drag after the first few and really it’s when the more flamboyant material - like the trad latin "Te Mata" and battering reggaeton "No Hay Ley pt 2" - turns up that it all gets going properly. Tbh this is a tricky listen in deep winter - it’s a record that seems to require a Mediterranean beach as a necessity - but there’s still plenty of fun to be had if you can just match yr stride to the beat as you trudge thru the wind and rain.

#27. Tinashe - Quantum Baby

RnB

Tinashe's commercial revival was a slight mirage but certainly Quantum Baby (and it’s lead single "Nasty") did more to revive her fortunes than anything else had for a decade. I haven’t really enjoyed her a lot before - I tend to find her a bit gloomy - but the eight songs on this mini album feel much more engaging than whatever I’ve heard previously. The back and forth split between the catchier RnB bangers and the more minimal and experimental songs knits together well and, while the likes of "Nasty" obviously stole all the attention, the focus on subjects other than having lots of hot sex on tracks like "No Simulation" and "Cross the Line" give it an emotional dimension that she could probably stand to use a bit more of.

#26. Billie Eilish - Hit Me Hard And Soft

Pop/rock, Singer-songwriter

Billie’s third album has been one of the biggest of the year but, while I’ve found much to love in it, it’s also been a vast source of frustration. The run of songs thru the first side are some of her finest, especially the pulsing, jellylike “Chihiro” and gorgeous love song “Birds Of A Feather”, but the second half falls off quite badly by my reckoning, firstly with “The Diner”, which is simply rubbish, followed by two multipart songs which both start well before drifting off into not so much. Having listened back to it all the night before I wrote this, I am preparing to admit that closing track "Blue" might not be bad and further reassessment could also yet happen. But my feeling that such a lush, delicate and apparently well balanced record managed to drop off quite so far has annoyed me a lot over the course of this year and so i've marked it down a bit anyway.

#25. Nelly Furtado - 7

Dance pop, Latin pop

Nelly Furtado’s seventh album has been seven years in the making, a fact she apparently felt worth celebrating but sadly no one remembered to turn up for it. No matter tho! The world may not have moved on its release but that did not stop 7 being really very good. Nelly sounds happy reaching across the genres, as comfortable making club bangers with Tove Lo as she is singing warm dramatic soul ballads like "All Comes Back", as well as drifting off into other areas like folk and Latin pop with the kind of assurance that one expects from someone who’s already aced them all before. That changeability can leave the album feeling a bit indistinct as a project but there was quality enough here to keep me tuned in anyway, both in terms of the songs and the performer at the heart of them.

#24. Dua Lipa - Radical Optimism

Dance pop; Pop/rock

Dua’s third album was always struggling to get off the ground commercially but it sounds like a victim of poor marketing rather than anything else. The most commanding material here is in her classic dancepop vein, with "Training Season" and "Illusion" still going extremely hard, but pop rockers "Happy For You" and "Falling Forever" both have a wonderfully hypnotic momentum to them too and the psychedelic swirl of opener "End Of An Era" sets the pre-release hype into a more positive context. It’s probably not as good as Future Nostalgia overall but Radical Optimism is still a solid record which largely deserved better than its fate.

#23. Shakira - Las Mujeres Ya No Lloran 

Dance pop; Latin pop

Shakira’s latest Spanish language album is a rather broad affair, largely dealing in sunny latin influenced dance pop but with a strong side hustle of bombastic rockers, emotive ballads and some entertainingly flashy trad stuff as well. Ofc at the centre of it all is Shakira’s trademark quivering vocals and mastery of pop melodrama and, while I’ve only returned to Las Mujeres infrequently this year, I always tend to enjoy it when I do. One of its key wonders to me is how a gentle ballad like "Ultima" can feel like such an extraordinary tearjerker when I don't understand a word of what it’s about. Ofc imagination and the international language of pop manage to fill in the gaps here and there, but i haven't discounted the possibility that she’s communicating how sad she is about having to pay her tax bill, something that i think we can all relate to. 

#22. The Last Dinner Party - Prelude To Ecstasy

Indie rock

The title here gives a strong impression of the kind of flouncing around in the dress up box vibe that they’re well known for, but scratch the surface of The Last Dinner Party and luckily they’ve got talent to burn too. Channeling early Kate Bush, Queen and Abba into their theatrical artpop sound, things can occasionally feel a little overdone, especially on their gothier numbers. But songs like "Caesar On A TV Screen", "The Feminine Urge" and "Nothing Matters" are hugely impressive with their big choruses and high drama, as well as an understanding that being a bit ridiculous is a thing to be taken very seriously.

#21. Confidence Man - 3AM

Dance, Club music

Confidence Man’s third album carried on with their 90s dance obsession but shifted it more towards rave culture. The move suited them well: their goofy image is pretty much ideal to take on the glow sticks and finger popping vibe of the era and musically it was a cosy fit with their all bangers all the time approach too. 3AM is their best record yet for me: certainly it's more consistent than Tilt, less focused on lyrical gimmickry and more fully on top of its material, but also it doesn't just make empty retro references and brings a clear understanding of the joy inherent in the kind of music that they're making.

Back whenever i finish the next round

[causenessus]

hey lovely !! how has your day been? have you eaten yet? i hope u have or i will have no choice but to somehow cyber pop out of your screen and take care of you (threateningly)(but also not threateningly because i wanna make sure you’re taking care of yourself) but !! anyways today i had this vietnamese dish called banh cuon and it was very MMMMM and and I HAD MANGO STICKY RICE🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶 (me living up to my anon name) idk why i just love love love mango like they’re so in season right now and so ripe so YUMMY AHHH

also omg i had a dream last night that someone was impersonating me like sending in anons with -mango anon <3 and i was literally like thinking damn. because in that situation what do i do like just fight it out with some rando LOL i was honestly stunned because one part of my brain i was like damn. but the other part of my brain was like WHAT DO I DO WHAT DO I DO WHAT IF THEY SAY SOMETHING AND FRAMED ME WHAT DO I DO so literally when i jolted awake i checked your blog then i was like oh haha everything is okay mango anon you’re safe… just a silly little dream silly silly little dream

also !!! TRY AGAIN CHAPTER WAS SO GOOD !! u need to stop doubting your writing because everytime i read the new chapters im like oh wow this is literally a masterpiece everytime its such a hit like you always release 10/10 chapters with the occasional OH WOW 10/10 CHAPTERS but then i read your notes saying that it wasn’t that good or it was rushed and im like WDYM NESS i’m here like kicking my feet or gasping or twirling my hair u need to have more faith in urself !!!

but anyways i’m yapping again greatest apologies LOL but i hope ur day is going well !! make sure u take care of urself >:( drink water and eat well !! xoxoxo

HELLO MANGO ANON MY LOVE!!!! <3 please do not cyber pop out of my screen!!! but i have to tell u something </3333 i worked a closing shift today at my job yk 😭😭😭 and i was walking out (at like 9:30 pm) and realized something and was like "omg mango anon is gonna kill me" bc what i realized was that besides a little tiny lemonade i hadn't eaten anything since 12pm </33 BUT DW I JUST ATE!!!! AND I'M USUALLY BETTER ABOUT THAT I JUST ALWAYS GET MESSED UP ON DAYS I WORK BUT IT'S OKAY I AM TAKING CARE OF MYSELF!!! AND I WILL CONTINUE TO AS LONG AS YOU'RE TAKING CARE OF YOURELF!!

also BAHN CUON RAHHHH!!!!!! MANGO ANON U AND ME ARE ONE IN THE SAME I LOVE VIETNAMESE FOOD AND I LOVE THAT YOU HAD MANGO STICKY RICE AGAIN TODAY!!! I HOPE IT WAS GOOD AND I LOVE THAT UR LIVING UP TO UR NAME <33 EAT ALL THE MANGOS YOU CAN BEFORE SUMMER GOES BY!!

I LAUGHED SO HARD AT YOUR DREAM I'M SORRY I HOPE THAT'S OKAY 😭😭😭 I GUESS WE'RE ALL JUST HAVING CRAZY DREAMS LATELY??? BECAUSE I'VE BEEN HAVING WHACK DREAMS EVERYDAY BUT I HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD SLEEP TONIGHT MANGO ANON <3 I AM WARDING OFF THE BAD DREAMS AND MANGO ANON IMPOSTERS!! in all honesty i mean this positively but i feel like you have a voice!! yk?? like i can recognize your messages and manner of speaking if that makes sense??? /pos and so if an imposter came on here i think i would call it out!! and be like "ur sounding a little weird today....mango anon 🤨" and if u sent an ask being like "THERE'S AN IMPOSTER!!!" (among us ptsd flashbacks omg i'm sorry) I WOULD TOTALLY BELIEVE YOU AND I AM CONFIDENT I'D BE ABLE TO DETERMINE WHO THE REAL MANGO ANON WAS 😭😭😭 WHAT IS THIS PARAGRAPH I'M WRITING I'M SORRY WE'RE BOTH YAPPING BUT WE CAN YAP TOGETHER IT'S OKAY!!

AAA I'LL TRY TO MAKE THE REST OF THIS SHORT BUT THANK YOU SO SO MUCH FOR SAYING THAT ABOUT TRY AGAIN <333 IT HONESTLY MADE ME FEEL SO MUCH BETTER ABOUT IT!! AND I WILL BE MORE CONFIDENT IN MY WRITING NOW KNOWING WHAT YOU THINK <3 I LOVE U SM THANK YOU FOR THIS ASK I LOVE YOUR YAPPING AND YOU ARE WONDERFUL AS ALWAYS I HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY/NIGHT MANGO ANON!!! <3333 make sure u eat and drink lots of water too!! and get lots of sleep <3

[sassykattery]

Love's Web, Part 4

Ooooooo they kissed. What else is gonna happen?

CW: CW: Altaira is afab, uses she/her pronouns. Profanity. There's not really much spoilers for ATSV but they're coming. Nudity. Makeout session.

Characters: Altaira (afab oc!), Diavolo, Lucifer, Mammon, Satan, Barbatos, all brothers implied, Simeon, Solomon, Miguel O'Hara

Themes: Romance. Jealousy. Multiverse. Angst.

Minors and ageless blogs DNI

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"Miguel," Altaira popped her head into her office. His eyes darted to hers as he was just admiring her desktop background again.

"Yes?"

"I have to run to the supply room to get some stuff. Are you okay here?"

"Sure," he replied quietly. She nodded and closed the door again, and he heard another door open and close, followed by quick footsteps down the hall.

Miguel went back to his task, opening a web browser again when he heard a knock at the door.

"Yes?"

Where he was expecting to see a short blonde woman with an armful of stuff stood a demon as tall as he who frowned just as deeply as he did to see the other instead of said woman.

"Oh, hello," Diavolo greeted him civilly.

"Hello," Miguel replied coldly, looking back to the screen.

The Demon Lord was quiet for a moment as his senses told him what had transpired here. He could still smell the leftover arousal from her, his senses showing him the mental image of her sprawled out on her desk. To his disgust, he could sense the spiderman's arousal and knowing where he was standing a while ago, too. The prince knew they didn't get too far, but a growl started to percolate in his chest until he snapped out of his jealous haze.

"Did you need something?" Miguel asked while looking up from under his brows with a scowl.

"I did. However, I was just reminded of something else. Why don't we take a walk, Mr. O'Hara?"

Miguel instantly saw through the prince's plan but agreed nonetheless. "Fine." Though, he also hated being called that.

Diavolo walked out of the office, and Miguel stalked behind him, following the prince out into the hall and down a ways to Diavolo's office.

"How are you finding your accommodations so far?" Diavolo asked a bit nicer then as they walked in.

"They're fine. Altaira has made sure I have everything I need," Miguel answered, making sure to throw it in the prince's face.

"Ah, I expect nothing less. Have a seat," Diavolo replied, walking to his office chair and gesturing toward a visitor's chair. Miguel sat, and the Demon Lord continued. "Altaira is a lovely hostess and guide. She's quite acquainted with demon life and is who we trust to make sure our guests are comfortable when we have them."

"She's quite spectacular at everything she does," Miguel replied, sitting back and crossing a leg, looking cocky.

"Indeed." Diavolo side-eyed his guest and looked away at a painting in the office, "The Birth of Venus." Her favorite painting.

"So why don't you actually tell me why you wanted to talk to me, instead of disguising this as a check-in and a "walk," hm?" Miguel finally asked with an exasperated and annoyed tone.

"At least you have your wit. I'll be clear then. My trusted butler Barbatos has done some research about you, because you see, I need to know that you're not going to destroy my realm and the people within it, my people," Diavolo explained.

"I assure you, I didn't mean to end up here," Miguel quipped.

"Of course not. But I don't think you're making quick progress of trying to leave because something has caught your eye," the prince offered in return. "Or someone."

Miguel smirked and chuckled darkly. "Oh, tonto, I'm afraid you've missed your chance. You should've made your move sooner. Let's skip the pleasantries, chico fresa."

[Idiot; Snobby boy/bratty boy]

"Very well. Barbatos found that not only did you pretty much destroy an earth in another universe, but you're not quite a stand-up superhero that you would like us to believe," Diavolo informed him coolly.

Miguel scowled and raised a brow. "I work in a society that now prevents universe-destroying events like that. As for the rest, I never claimed to be a superhero. I never claimed I'm always the good guy. I try to be, but sometimes I have to make hard decisions, and I don't always like what I have to do."

"Hard decisions like infidelity?" Diavolo asked.

"What are you talking about?" Miguel asked in reply, sounding angry.

"In Altaira's world, you're nothing more than–"

Knock knock

"Diavolo? Is Miguel with you?" Altaira asked on the other side of the door.

"Come in, Altaira," Diavolo called out, his tone instantly sweetening at her name.

She waltzed in and looked relieved at the sight of Miguel, causing the him to look rather smug.

"I left him in my office while I went to the store room but when I came back he was gone. I could hear you talking as I walked by, so I'd thought I'd ask. I'm glad I did," she explained, looking pleased.

"Of course. We were checking in," Diavolo said with a smile and adoring eyes at her. Miguel rolled his eyes until she came into view and looked up at her innocently.

"Oh good! Well, I got what I needed. I'd actually like to go run some errands. Let's head out, Miguel," she explained cheerfully. "That is, if you're done with your conversation."

"Yes," they said in unison, a little tense.

Miguel stood after Altaira walked away, and then he hung back for a second so she was out of earshot before looking over his shoulder at Diavolo.

"You had three years. Don't pretend it's anyone's fault but your own," Miguel stated before walking away, closing the door behind him.

Diavolo waited a few minutes, staring ahead, lost in his thoughts. Suddenly, he slammed his fist onto the desk with an echoing smack and stood, whirling around to look out of his office window to see Miguel helping her into her car and closing the door like a gentleman.

"Damn him," Diavolo growled. There was no one who got quite under his skin like that man did. In another life, they could've gotten along, but if that human mutant wasn't trying to steal the prince's reason for existing, he supposed no one would get to know if that were true.

And if he had to hurt her a little to make her understand, well, he'd have to apologize later.

---

"The House seems a little empty," Miguel observed, walking in with Altaira.

"Yeah, I may have bamboozled the boys into leaving for the evening. We have a short week at the academy, so tomorrow is technically the start of a long weekend," she explained as she walked.

"You did? Do tell," he replied playfully. He followed her into her bedroom.

"I made them all think I was going to The Fall, the biggest club here, so of course they all went thinking we could hang out," she answered. "Am I terrible?" She asked as she stood with her back to him.

He approached and placed his hands on her hips, her back pressed to his front as he leaned down.

"I think smart is a better description," he murmured. Keeping one hand on her hip, his other hand began to caress her upper arm, his mouth pressing kisses into the side of her head.

"You weren't kidding about not forgetting," she chuckled nervously.

"Well, we don't have to do anything if you're not up to it," he murmured in her hair.

"I got us the house to ourselves for a reason," she replied. "But... let's just go slow."

"As you wish, cosita linda," he murmured against her hair.

She turned around, still in his grasp, and took his hands in hers. Then, she slowly walked backward to guide both of them to her bed. She sat and swung her legs over to lay down, and he followed after her, climbing on top of her. He held himself up as he looked down at her.

"Eres hermosa, bombón, truly. Let me show you as much," he murmured.

[You are beautiful]

She nodded, and he leaned down to kiss her again. His lips stayed soft, kissing her delicately as if she were porcelain, but that contrasted to how he grabbed her thighs firmly, not painfully. Immediately, she spread them out for him to slot himself between. He leaned his torso into her and massaged her thighs in his hands, molding them how he saw fit. Keeping one hand there, the other came up to caress her chest, trickling down and to the side as his fingers dug into the plush flesh of her stomach. She went stiff for a minute, and he stopped.

"Does that hurt?" He asked quietly.

"No, I just... that's... I don't like that part," she mumbled, unable to meet his gaze.

"I do," he grunted with pinched brows. "You're soft. I like how you feel in my hands."

He squeezed her again but dove for her neck to kiss her there, causing her to gasp and arch into him. A deep chuckle resonated in his chest.

"I'm sensitive there..." she whimpered. He lavishly licked one spot followed by intensely sucking there, causing her to squirm and moan a little louder.

"There she is," he purred with a smile. "Let me make you feel good, cosita linda."

She nodded and rasped a "Yes" just before he went back to sucking and nibbling on that spot on her neck. His hand left her stomach to come back up and gently grasp her breast, instantly receiving another deep arch as she pushed herself into him and another moan.

"You're so sensitive, amorcito," he chuckled again. "It's adorable."

[Little love]

"Miguel," she moaned outright. Now, that was a sound he wanted to hear again. Her moaning his name sounded better than any music. If he had to hear his name again, he wanted to hear it like that all the time, and only from her.

"You have to tell me what you want, azúcar," he murmured against her neck.

"T-Touch me," she replied.

"Touch you where?" He teased her again.

"Anywhere," she rasped. "I just need to feel you."

"Are you saying you need me? That's a far stretch from what you were saying days ago, mi tesoro," he gloated, taking his hand and slowly slipping it under her RAD uniform blouse.

[My treasure]

"And now you're calling me sugar, treasure, and pretty little thing, where you were saying I was a stubborn mule and a rich brat," she mumbled. He could hear the sting in her words.

"Can you find it in your heart to forgive me?" He whispered into the shell of her ear before pulling away to look at her.

"Show me why I should," she looked up at him with innocent wide eyes.

He smirked down at her and kissed her again, pushing her shirt up. "Can we take this off?"

"Yes."

And, within seconds, it was gone. He made his mind up he wouldn't tear her clothes up, especially the uniform. But that didn't mean he had to take his time removing it.

His eyes traveled lower, taking in the span of her torso, the dark navy and black lace bra she wore. He saw her round and soft stomach, how her waist nipped in to give her such a full hourglass shape. The faded stretch marks across her abdomen he instinctively traced his fingertips down were beautiful as well.

When he was done, he glanced up at her and saw how she refused to look at him, head turned to the side with a fiery blush on her neck, chest, and the shells of her ears. Without saying a word, he sank lower and began kissing her stomach, his hands settling on the curve of her waist to hold her in place. He started mumbling his praises in Spanish, far past what she understood. Little hickies were left across her stomach. Miguel sank lower, planting kisses above the waistband of her skirt, and he slipped one of her thighs up to rest on his shoulder.

Her moans and sighs were soft but becoming more consistent. She didn't fight him or push him away, because she truly had never felt so... worshipped.

The two were so wrapped up in each other that when her bedroom door flew open to slam against the wall, they nearly jumped out of their skins as their heads snapped to see Mammon standing there, breathing hard and looking down at the floor with his hands on his knees.

"I knew– Heh, hang on, gotta– okay, I knew you were trouble!" He barked, sounding out of breath. When he looked up, he shrieked as an angry spiderman was bounding toward him with fangs bared and talons out. "Shit!"

Miguel chased the second born out of the room and down the halls, up the stairs, and all over the house, shouting obscenities in Spanish for interrupting and barging in. Altaira sighed and got up to close the door, deciding Mammon could meet his own fate for what he did, without her bailing him out for a bit. She got undressed and found some lounge clothes to wear. With a big sigh, she laid herself on her bed again, face up toward the ceiling. She held up her hands and saw how they still lightly trembled from her nervousness. Her hands dropped to clasp one another over her chest, her brows pinched as she thought deeply.

Do I... love him? How could I?

---

A while later, Miguel finally reappeared, running his fingers through his hair and a hand on his waist as he walked into her room. It was dark, and he could make out her figure on her bed, laying on her side and wrapped in her blankets. With a sigh, he deactivated his suit and slipped into his lounge clothes as well, approaching her quietly. When he placed a hand down next to her, she instantly looked up at him over her shoulder and then scooted over to make room while relinquishing some of the blanket. He slid in silently and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into his chest.

"Did you get 'em?" She murmured softly with a slight playfulness.

"He's currently plastered against the wall upside down. Surely someone will get him down," he mumbled in her ear. "Are you upset with me, bombón?"

"No, I just have a lot on my mind," she replied truthfully.

"Hmm. You can tell me," he countered.

"I will when I'm ready," she answered. He looked down at her over his nose, not liking the sound of that, but he held her tighter nonetheless.

"As you wish," he murmured, kissing the top of her head.

And that's all that was said for a while. He waited for her to become still, her body relaxing into his, and her soft breathing to turn into soft snores to know she was fully asleep. He played with her hair as he lay awake, a myriad of things on his mind too. Thoughts of home plagued him, wondering if Jess and the team were handling things without him.

When Altaira kicked her leg in her sleep, he entangled her in his so she'd stop, and his mind quickly shifted gears to her. He thought about the ramifications of what he was doing. Would this disrupt anything? Could he have her? Did she want him to have her? Would she be willing to leave this place?

He wasn't entirely sure, and being so uncertain wasn't necessarily new to him, given the nature of his work, but it didn't make it any easier either.

She moved again, murmuring something as he watched her grip the sheets in front of her. His thoughts melted away as his focus shifted to her in the moment. He could feel her heart starting to pound in her chest, her body heat starting to climb. His hand came to rest on her temple as he whispered to her, hoping to ease her troubles.

"Estoy aquí," he murmured softly.

[I'm here]

Oh, how far he'd fallen in such a short time for one little woman.

"No te dejaré."

[I won't leave you]

So, so far.

---

The next morning, Miguel left her to sleep a little longer as he got up to peruse the House's pantry. As he was sifting through what was available, he heard a deep sigh, followed by someone clearing his throat.

"Good morning, Miguel," Lucifer said. Miguel closed the pantry and turned to face the eldest brother. "I made us coffee. Why don't we talk?"

"You know, I'm not sure if I'm a fan of the "talks" demons like to have," Miguel quipped as he watched Lucifer hand him a full cup of steaming brown liquid. The eldest chuckled.

"No, I'm afraid you're right. However, let's continue this outside," he replied, leading Miguel to the back and outside near the cemetery on the House property.

"Well?" Miguel prompted Lucifer.

"I saw the new art on the wall in the hallway of the foyer. A nice touch, but I did have to take it down. Having Mammon splattered to the wall almost naked ruined my appetite," Lucifer stated.

"A shame," Miguel replied.

"Nonetheless, he did mean well. I do apologize for his abrupt interruption. He's fond of Altaira, you see. He's the one who clings to her the most out of all of us," Lucifer went on to explain. When his companion didn't speak, he continued. "We all care for her deeply. But I do think out of all my brothers, I'm the most reasonable."

The Avatar then turned to face Miguel completely while taking a sip.

"And?"

"And I understand that she's special. Altaira is unlike any human we've met. Much more than just caring for her, we love her deeply. But as the eldest, and trying to be respectful of her desires, I want you to know, you can only have her if you care and love her more deeply than we do. I can't speak on behalf of our prince because hell only knows how he feels about this, but you have to treat her better than we do. She is loved and adored by an entire realm, and it won't be easy to let her go if that's something you two decide," Lucifer explained.

"What is Diavolo's problem anyway?" Miguel asked. Lucifer smiled down in his cup and looked off to the treeline beyond the cemetery.

"He loves her. He wants to marry her. But his duties stop him each and every time. He's worried about what the nobility would think," he answered. He looked back to Miguel. "A demon, a royal demon, marrying a human is unprecedented."

"Even as loved as she is by your people?"

Lucifer nodded and looked away again. "Even then. She can't provide what the realm would want from the prospective royal match. And we can't deny as progressive as we are becoming, unfortunately, there are still those with enough power to cause an uproar if they were upset by such a move on Diavolo's part."

"What do you mean by that? Not providing?" Miguel asked with a brow raised and head tilted. He finally took a drink of his coffee and nearly spat it out from its dark taste.

"I can't answer that," Lucifer replied with a sigh. "She would have to tell you more about herself. Otherwise, she's a perfect match for the prince." He finally looked back to the spiderman. "So I ask that you don't screw this up, and watch where you walk. Diavolo's outwardly kind, but he's no fool. He's aware that he is slowly losing his chance with her by you being here, so you can expect him to make calculative moves until he decides what to do– with you or her."

"And why are you telling me this? And if you say you love her as well, then why didn't you make your move?"

The Avatar of Pride chuckled deeply. "I did, two years ago. But back then, she was still holding out for Diavolo, so she turned me down." Lucifer turned serious again. "As for why I'm telling you this, well, I do still love her, so I want what's best for her. If that's you, then so be it. But if she chooses Diavolo, I want you to know that you'll have to let her go, just as I did. Just like Diavolo won't stand for the destruction of his world, I won't tolerate the destruction of my family, and that includes her."

"I see. You're right, you do seem to be the reasonable one. But I thought you were his right hand? Wouldn't you also be telling me to leave her alone?" Miguel asked suspiciously.

"I have to follow his commands. He has not made such a command... yet. And, I will say, affairs of the heart weren't in my job description when I took this on. He is on his own to woo her," Lucifer answered. He then looked at the time and sighed. "She'll be awake soon. Mammon is making breakfast today."

Miguel shivered. "Right, I believe we'll be eating elsewhere." Lucifer chuckled and nodded, gesturing back toward the House to head that way.

---

Miguel knocked at her bedroom door after his talk with Lucifer, and when he heard no reply, he walked in anyway. Just as he turned around after closing the door, he saw the bathroom door open to Altaira walking out completely naked aside from the towel wrapped up in her hair. Their eyes immediately glued to one another. After a few seconds of silence, she immediately took a step back and slammed the door shut.

He blinked a couple of times before padding over to the door and softly knocking on it.

"Are you alright?" He asked.

There was a little whimper, and then the door opened again. This time, she was wrapped in a larger towel to hide herself.

"Altaira," he murmured to her. He took hold of her chin and tilted her head back as he kissed her with a smile on his lips. "Hermosa, you really know how to work me up."

She pulled her chin away and looked down, immediately inching away.

"Bombón, did I upset you?"

"I..." she started to say and then stopped. She trembled a bit, leaning against the doorframe.

"Cariño, come here," he murmured, gathering her into his arms. "Don't be ashamed. I love how you look."

[Dear]

"That's not how I wanted you to see me for the first time..." she finally replied, her voice wavering.

"Then I'll pretend I saw nothing," he replied with a playful lilt. "And you can show me when you're ready."

That seemed to help her as she finally relaxed into his hold, her face rubbing against his sternum.

"Is Mammon alive?"

"Barely. The oldest got him down," he replied.

"That's a turn of events. Usually Lucifer is the one stringing him up," she quipped. "He must've felt bad for Mammon." She then walked across the room.

"Bombón," Miguel called to her. She looked at him over her shoulder as she pawed through her closet. That one look alone made him feel weak. "What would you say to a date to get to know each other more?"

Her eyes shined with delight. "Sure! Any particular requests?" She seemed happy with such an ask.

"Just somewhere where we can talk privately and openly," he answered.

"I know the place."

---

"What is this?" Miguel asked.

"This is Diavolo's private beach. The brothers and I are the few who have total access to it at any time," she replied.

"Ah, so picnic on the beach?"

"Yes!" She said excitedly. They both got out of her car and walked around back to grab the blankets and takeout boxes they got on the way there.

The two walked out to the beach, just a few feet from the shoreline to find their spot. Miguel laid out the blanket and started digging down the corners so it'd stay put. Altaira set up the food, wine, and a small speaker hooked up to her D.D.D. to play music.

When the two were settled, she opened a bottle of vintage blush wine and began pouring it.

"What? No red?" He asked incredulously, but clearly joking. She rolled her eyes.

"Don't act like you care for it either. Sorry, and no cerveza for us. I prefer this," she replied. "Plus, I wanted to be a little classy."

"Rosé drinker, got it. Maybe I should call you rosíta," he replied. She smiled and bumped her shoulder against his.

"So what did you want to talk about?"

Miguel was silent for a moment, his lips pursing and staring out into the waters. Altaira got out her device and began playing soft jazz music and switching the beach setting from sunset to nighttime, the moon high in the sky to provide them with light.

"I want us to get to know each other better, and more deeply. I think it would help both of us," he answered. "I'll go first since this is my idea."

She nodded and he continued.

"I told you I lead a small elite force that watches over the multiverse to ensure its propagation," he said first. She nodded again. "I never told you why I started this team..."

He then explained what he had done in the past, and why he did it. She watched him with pinched brows, looking away every so often as if to analyze certain points he talked about. When he was done, he said,

"I try to stop others from meeting the same fate as me."

She moved away to face the waters, looking out to the ocean with a solemn face.

"I can't fault you for any of that."

He was silent, waiting for more.

"But...?"

"There's no but," she murmured, her eyes cast downward then. "You have to make hard decisions, and you tried to do something to find happiness, only leading to destruction. I get it."

"You sound..."

"Heartbroken," she replied quietly.

"Why?"

It was her turn to look away, her face harshly pensive.

"Because that's something I can't give you. I can't give anyone," she answered with a bitter bite to her tone. Her head turned slightly as she looked at him in her preferal. "Have you heard what they call me? The demons?"

"What?"

---

Thanks for reading<3

Post made by sassykattery. Do not repost. Reblogs and comments appreciated.

Tags: @delphi-dreamin @itsmeninerz @bite-sized-devil

[willinglyghoulified]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the Last 10 people Who reblogged something from you. Learn about your mutuals and followers. 🎠 But only if you want to, just have fun! 💖💖

Awe thank you!~ I love this sm! Answers are gonna get long-winded though T_T

5 Things That Make Me Happy:

Positive Feedback - has to be on the top of my list because this absolutely does breathe life into me. I started writing in the first place to make people happy. I do it because I love it and I want to share that love with others. I want to be the writer that makes people look forward to getting off work to read that new chapter or the reason they stayed up a little too late because they just had to know what happened next. I want my stories to be someone else's escape. And maybe one day, I'll be on their bookshelves, too. ♥

Genuine Friendships - they're so important to me. I'm someone who has very few friends and even fewer family, so if you're close to me, it means something. I'm all about chosen family, and it often reflects in my writing (one of my fav main characters has a tendency to adopt lonely misfits). With my friends, we're either just acquaintances or you're my goddamn sibling, there's really no in between, which is both a good and a bad quality trait.

Fucking Fallout - because it's the most immersive game I've ever played. I know a lot of the games get some hate throughout the fandom, but I genuinely love every installment that they come up with, because it continues the story. Even with all its flaws, I love all of 1, 2, 3, 4, NV, and 76. I'm more partial to 4 because I relate more to their characters, but NV had the superior storyline. ♥ I literally cannot get this game or these characters out of my head.

BTS - Okay hear me out on this one: I know BTS is a stereotypical K-Pop band, but I seriously love them as people. I don't like K-Pop normally, as a genre. I listened to "emo music" growing up (I was born in 1993 so the 2000s was where my favorite music really lied). I was also a troubled kid and I brought a lot of those insecurities and trauma to my adulthood, and my old bands just wasn't doing it anymore. The memories of teen angst mostly stressed me out. But then I found BTS, and their music and messages helped me SO MUCH as a young adult, well into later adulthood (I'm 29 now). I absolutely love them, and they make me happy with their genuine care and messages. Those 7 boys are some of my biggest inspirations in life, reminding me that I can do anything if I try hard enough. But you will NEVER catch me mixing my love for BTS with the Fallout stuff on this blog. I've noticed that liking K-Pop is a quick way to catch hate, so I keep my obsession with them to myself. I'm okay with that; I've done it for the last six years.

My Husband - as cheesy as it is to say, I have the best husband I could have asked for. STORY TIME: I met him in Kindergarten, and he was always getting me in trouble by making me laugh and the teacher kept telling us to be quiet. She had to separate us. I had a crush on him in 2nd grade. Then we didn't see each other again until middle school. We had gym class together in 6th grade. In 8th grade, we became best friends. He dated a friend of ours in 9th, and I thought that would help me get rid of the feelings I had for him because I was terrified I'd ruin our friendship if I made a move. It didn't work out between him and our friend, but he told me in 10th grade that he liked me a lot, and we really understood each other. (Honestly it "helped" that we both came from troubled/broken families and were both below poverty level.) When we got together, we were each other's first EVERYTHING. We were together all throughout high school with no complications, and our peers deemed us worthy of being prom king and queen in 12th grade even though we were the nerds who oftentimes got bullied. It was so surreal. We moved in together after high school. We went through a loooooot of bullshit. Being kicked out of houses, losing jobs, losing family members (deaths and otherwise) and we're pretty much inseparable now. We've been together for 14 years. He's supportive in everything I do, even if he doesn't always understand my obsessions. He believes in me. He knows I'm not going to thank him for doing the bare minimum (respecting me, listening to me, helping me, not expecting me to mother him, etc). He genuinely fucking loves me. And he's pretty damn handsome and funny, too. Icing on the cake. And after losing all the people that we have over the years, we're pretty much all that we've got left. But I wouldn't choose to live this life with anyone else.

[nastybuckybarnes]

Hey Beautiful, how've you been? If it's okay here's a few of my thoughts on your tedtalk. Sorry it's a bit long.

1: I started this blog when I was in high school, and for so many years it was my escape and my safe space. And I feel like I've been gone for so long that idk if its that anymore.

Try it out Babe and get a feel for things. Hopefully you still find some joy here cause personally speaking we all need somewhere and something to just chill out and fantasize and dropping that without exploring the possibility of it still existing seems like such a shame.

2: I have stuff written and I have ideas but im just worried that I'm old news lol and I know, I know 'write what you want' but to an extent, I also want to write stuff that people enjoy.

Old news? Please. That could never happen Lex. As for wanting to write what people enjoy. I know I sound like a broken record, but I still remember the excitement I felt the first time I discovered your Madness series. I still smile when I think of you and that little tale of yours opened up this whole fanfic adventure for me and the beneficial results have been unbelievable. You did that and it hasn't stopped with fanfic. As you said in your birthday reply, this wild adventure has even spilled into original works and not just yours. You did that.

You have the talent. Let it shine and those that find your work will hopefully appreciate all you have to offer.

3: If I were to come back, I think I would make some changes and I would start writing for new fandoms as well.

Now the first part of this. I'm sure you've heard the old saying 'a change is as good as a rest.' Go for it Lex. It could be exciting. Now as for other fandoms. What can I say except, who are you planning on ruining us with now? Why can't a writer have multiple fandoms? I too seem comfortable in the Marvel fandom, yet I have an Andy Barber fic that just seems to be wildly popular. It often reminds me of an inflatable clown that pops up, disappears for a while and then up again when someone else finds it. Like I said earlier, you've got talent. Do your thing.

Either way Lex, whether you remain here or go solely down the original route, just remember there are those of us who will always be interested in reading what you write. As long as we're made aware of it😂

You are a gem. I feel so overwhelmed with love and support and I cannot put into words how much I appreciate you❤️

I think I'm gonna give it a go! Gonna spend a decent part of the day editing my account to make it more reader-friendly and then who knows, maybe I'll actually post one of my dozens of drafts tonight.

Baby steps, but I think I may get back into the swing of things for real now💘

[anotherduckinthedepths]

Here be the den of someone who's interests always find a way back to Minecraft, one way or another

Anyhow, hello, I'm Depths! (It might change later just warning you) I go by she/her pronouns and enjoy drawing + rambling about things I find interesting.

This blog is for those drawings and ramblings, specifically those tied to the QSMP, DSMP, Sbi, mcyt in general, and maybe some ranboo content if Im feeling like it, I'm generally open for interactions with others! (Granted I'm not the best at initiating interactions) I only ask that you both respect the DNI list below DNI: - TERFs, Racists, Homophobes, just be nice to people please (I hope this is unnecessary but better safe than sorry) - Those who support death threats/doxxing towards ANY content creators ("but you don't like (Insert cc here)", doesn't matter, no death threat/doxxing for ANY of them, full stop, you can dislike people or heck even deeply hate them without threatening their lives or the lives of those around them) And please do not harass me or anyone else who might pop up here just on the stance that we happen to enjoy a game and a story that is unfortunately connected to some well-known but divisive people online. Important addition, do not feel afraid to interact if you happen to like the characters played by ccs I dont like/support ! I'm not gonna shoo you away, I see them as seperate entities, like a character in a movie and the actor that plays them who exists outside of that, to do otherwise would be hypocritical of me. I want to try and make this blog as welcoming as I can to fellow fans regardless of how I view things, I do not seek to change anyone's mind and make them agree with me, I just wanna provide silly content to whoever enjoys it. Important tags #Depth's Art or #Depth's AU Art - Drawings I have done on this blog, from sketches to fully-fleshed out art pieces (if I ever do that), the latter is used for drawings regarding AUs I have. #Depth rambles - Random silly thoughts. #Serious Depth mode - Mainly got this up in the event of more serious posts, likely focusing on issues/discourse in the fandom and/or just how it affects me. I dont imagine I'll use this often but I feel like I'll end up having to use it at least once to explain my view of things. If you'd rather avoid seeing discussion around this I would suggest blocking this tag. #Depth's OCs - The tag for my OCs, more than likely minecraft related. #Depth's Brainrot About Jubilant - A specific tag for a very specific character that's on the border between AU character and OC (if you don't feel comfortable seeing posts about them due to the character they're an AU version of (hint- 🟩 :) ) I completely understand and you're more than welcome to block this tag)

_______ I have had some AUs cooking up in my brain and may post about them on this blog, when this happens I will list them down here and provide the tag it's assigned if you want to see my posts for it. Unnamed Superhero Warlock AU (Features c!dream and XD as main antagonists for the most part) (Important Note - This AU is right now kinda in-between being an AU and an original work, it's definetely still in AU territory rn, but I'm thinking of trying to make it it's own thing) The superpowered world all knows and looks up to Pantheon, a long-lasting group of individuals granted with two powers instead of one, what the public mostly doesn't know is that this comes at the cost of becoming a servant to an entity beyond comprehension, and becoming nothing more than a puppet to serve it's desires to invade and control the material plane. Kristin is one of these members of the current Pantheon, tied to a entity of the afterlife, she's long been resigned to her destiny as Lady Death, she is doomed to hunt criminals (or just those who know too much) and those she's sent after are doomed to never escape, none she has been sent after even managing to escape one encounter with her. ... until a man soon to be named Sisyphus manages to get away. Tag - #Unnamed Superhero Warlock AU QSMP Pokemon Mystery Dungeon AU Exactly what it says on the tin, an AU where the players are humans turned into Pokemon and are now stranded in a large remote island in the Pokemon world. Littered with Mystery Dungeons and various other dangers that threaten both them and the pokemon they've been given to care for. Tag - #qsmp pmd au

[faeryvoid]

I'm Fawn Iris Thunders, or Faeryvoid. I started this blog to share my art, hobbies, and creative projects.

My identity and experiences are reflected throughout my art, so first, I'm gonna tell you a bit about me.

I'm a 22yo queer, disabled, ancom, punk, folk singer, otherkin, and folk witch. Umm, I really enjoy counterculture. I'm into a lot of music based subcultures and alternative fashion movements. I grew up in a Christian conservative family, and I think I've always been drawn to things that rival Christian conservative values. I've always been hyperfixated on the occult and the macabre. When I was young, I remember my mother saying something like, "When I had a girl, I thought I wouldn't have to worry about you being into these sorts of things." Looking back at that conversation now, I find it funny. I'm a fucking genderqueer witch. That being said, I was very sheltered and isolated as a child, so it wasn't until my early teens that all sorts of information started becoming more accessible to me. I discovered so many different aspects of myself as a young teen, and of course, around that age, everyone around me thought everything was just a phase. Honestly, I just had a bunch of information that I had never had before. Obviously, my identity has evolved since I was 12 years old, but I had a very good sense of self at that age, and I think my elders trying to convince me otherwise created a lot of self-doubt. I've also always enjoyed creativity and creating things from a very young age. I'm very crow-brained and like collecting things. I was a Monster High kid and now collect dolls as an adult. I especially like fantasy themed and anthropomorphic dolls. I was a Sonic kid. Growing up, I really loved Sonic and Pokémon which is probably what got me into Japanese pop culture to begin with. Also, watching Sailor Moon as a young queer teen was really cathartic. Learning that Haruka/Sailor Uranus is essentially canonically bigender in the manga at 12 was life-changing. Back to witchcraft, today I'm pursuing a path as a Celtic folk witch. I've actually been a witch for around 7 or 8 years now, but in the beginning, I was following a very eclectic path and was actually a Wiccan for a while. I don't care for Wicca at all anymore or the whole eclectic witch thing. That scene taught me to normalize cultural appropriation and picking apart other folks' cultures for our own personal practices along with toxic positivity and a bunch of other fucked up shit I don't fuck with. The past couple of years, I've been relearning things and building a practice based around my ancestral cultures. Outside of witchcraft, I'm a Welsh/Celtic neopagan, and though there's some intersection, I don't really like viewing that as a part of my witchcraft. I'm also a folk singer. My wife and I recently started a folk Duo called The Fence Cats, so that's something I'm working on right now. The Fence Cats is my first music project. That's pretty much what I want to share about myself right now. In future projects like in zines, I'll go more into depth on my identities and experiences. I'm very likely both dyslexic and disgraphic, so my blogs and zines are often far from perfect, but I try my best.

I plan on sharing a pretty broad array of my art, hobbies, and creative projects, like illustrations, zines, jewelry, music, poetry, DIY stuff, I'm thinking maybe even witchcraft related things. I'm teaching myself to cook, so maybe stuff pertaining to that. I imagine it might not seem very cohesive, but I think overarching themes will tie everything together.