#( dumbass of the century )

[thesmokinpossum]

If My Body Could Speak, Blythe Baird | The Godfather, Mario Puzo | My Father's House, Sylvia Fraser | To The Daughter Who Secretly Longs For Her Mother’s Affection, Lynne Shako | Storms from Jupiter, Wanda Deglane | DO NOT REPLY, @filmnoirsbian

[cto10121]

Kind but firm reminder that Book Elphaba consistently wore skirts (red, gray, with an apron), scarves and shawls (the traditional Vinkus scarf with black lace and red roses was her favorite), gloves on occasion, and Wellington boots. And only when she went to live in the Vinkus did she don the iconic black maunt skirts and waterproof cape.

Sigh.

[perpetuallyconfuzzled]

TFONE - Next time

"No, I did it for us" Orion is so glad that speaking before thinking is working in his favor for once because the sting of guilt that just shot through his spark at how surprised and touched Dee sounded was going to eat him up alive especially as he meets the other mech's hopeful optics. 

I am still kinda new at writing and I honestly had this one gathering dust for months but JUST got the time to clean it up to post (I was also chickening out constantly so JAAAAA;;;;;;;;;;) so here have my horrid little fluff(?) of Optimus making the biggest fumble in Cybertron's known history

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The city was loud, louder than it had been in Primus knows how long, and then some, and Pax was going to take advantage of it to the fullest.

The day before had been hell on wheels, nothing really going according to plan and just going from bad to worse; He hadn't been able to check on Jazz again or face the rest of the team after what happened with Elita, especially knowing that, if he were given the choice, he would have done it again. 

But frag it! He wasn't here to remember that, he needed to clear his helm. After this was done, he would be able to face them all again with a head held up high, knowing their sparks would be soaring in hope. This was the day to show all of Cybertron who they were and that no matter if you were born with or without cogs, anyone can make a difference and change the faith of their people!

Orion navigated the crowd with relative ease, optic sharp as he looked around for the promised opening he KNEW would lead them to the arena "Come on, come ON" he looked over at Dee every once in a while, vaguely paying attention to his friend's rambling, probably something about the race and who he was hoping would win Dee hasn't stopped talking about it since they woke up.

"-and with Behemoth on the race you KNOW it will be AMAZING, they have been one of the toughest speeders in the last few cycles! With the redoubling of the mine shift I haven't been able to see much of him anymore but I am sure he'll easily make it to the top 10 or maybe even win-" Orion chuckled as they kept walking to the stadium, his friend was practically glowing with delight and sang Sentinel's praises between each step they took, thankful for the Prime rewarding them all for all their cycles of devotion and sacrifice. Orion walks and listens, and for a second he gets swept with the current, just happy to follow along with Dee until his eyes finally catch the opening he has been looking for.

BINGO

"I have a surprise for you"

"Wha- Where are you going? The stadium is that way!"

"Yeah, yeah I know... Follow me" Pax moves to the side, not needing to look back to make sure if Dee is following or not. No matter how much he grumbled or bemoaned his shenanigans Orion knew Dee was always a few steps behind him; besides, he was already occupied watching out for the turbines "Pull up!" The current throws him off for a second as he held on to the handles at the left of the tunnel, making sure his friend was able to hold on and stand back up once the coast was clear to continue "Get caught in one of those and it'd launch you halfway across the city"

"Okay? But where are you taking me?"

Orion can't hold back the mischievous smile that breaks out, Dee is going to FLIP when he sees it, he can't wait to see his face! "Don't be a glitch, this will be totally worth it! Trust me" and once he wins him over with this there is no way he can say no!

"Hey, you don't be a glitch!" Orion opened the grate at the top of the stairs, looking around and making sure the place was as unprotected and deserted as it always had been 'Perfect, no one is here!'

"I know this is fun for you like, joking around-" Pax holds in a chuckle as he steps aside for his friend, ooooh this was going to be great "but if you make me miss ANY part of the IACON 5000 I swear I will smelt your-" 

Primus, he finally noticed

"-face right off..." and he lost him, he wasn't sure if he should laugh at how dumbfounded Dee looked or pay any attention to the warm swelling of pride inside his chestplate knowing he made D-16 lose all his words. 

The more he stared outside the brighter his optics burned, like that of a sparkling exploring Iacon for the first time, he was mesmerized and the larger Dee's smile grew the harder it was to ignore the burning joy dancing around his spark, he was going to love his plan! "Look- LOOK! There's Thunderglide and BEHEMOTH"

Hearing the other's, usually more calm and otherwise sarcastic, tone morph into one so full of genuine happiness was amazing. He really liked it!

"This. Is. UNBELIEVABLE!"

He can't help but smile just as broadly as Dee, his joy was just so contagious! And how can he not when the mech sounds way too cute when excited... Would Dee kill him if he said that out loud-

"It feels like I'm in the race"

And he is IN femmes and gentlemechs, The bot is on our side!! Okay, it's now or never Pax, Dee has always been pretty emotionally driven so if he is in a great mood, there are close to no plans he won't participate in! He just has to give him the jetpack now and explain what to- 

"You did this... for me?"

I-

Oh

"No, I did it for us" Orion is so glad that speaking before thinking is working in his favor for once because the sting of guilt that just shot through his spark at how surprised and touched Dee sounded was going to eat him up alive especially as he meets the other mech's hopeful optics. 

Orion lifts his fist with (what he begs all primes ever created it to be) a relaxed reassuring smile as he hides away the light panic rattling inside his helm and Dee, ever trusting and ever loyal, meets his fist with his own, smiling with such a goofy, genuine, happy smile it was impossible to look away while his spark stabbed at him once more. That was the smile of someone who trusted him to not lie about this not being another scheme or another misadventure, of someone who just wanted to spend a well-deserved break with his best friend and watch something fun before heading back to work the next day, of someone who fully believes that even after everything there could never be any deception behind such a sincere (bordering on intimate!) act.

... but there was no lie, right? It really was for them, all of them, he wasn't exactly lying to him! This was for Dee to finally see himself as someone who should be able to be whatever they wanted to be and for all the miners to be free of their oppressive and brutal routines.

He'd see, they would all finally see that they are more than meets the eyes (and if a small voice that sounded eerily similar to Dee's whispered with a twinge of hurt 'You are a liar Orion Pax' he pays it no mind)

His mind quickly picks up on Sentinel's speech and he mumbles a soft curse (Frag, since when has he been there?) as he starts paying attention to the prime above them, he can worry about how Dee will or will not hate him later this was important! This was their only chance to show Iacon and Sentinel Prime that they could help out, that there had to be a way to let bots be more proactive with their own lives instead of having the miners waste away between the rubble and scraps of Energon.

Orion examines Dee one more time as the other stares at the Primes of old with reverence, his goofy bright smile replaced with a more solemn frown as if he were in the presence of the actual Thirteen. There is a fire on his optic Orion only sees whenever the other speaks about Megatronus Prime before going back to the spark of joy he had before, the mech really couldn't wait for the race to start and-  and for a moment Pax falters once more.... is he really going to do this? He knows Dee is always cleaning after him and saving his aft from every disaster he drags him to-

"Racers"

This is not the first time he has done something like this and it won't be the last-

"On your marks!"

Besides, Dee is going to love it! Once he is soaring into the skies and gets to meet that Behemoth or Thunderglider guy he would know it was a good plan!

"I can't believe we get to watch from the starting line-" 

This is for all of us, everyone is counting on them now, and there is no turning back.

"The best seats in the house-... why'd you bring jetpacks?"

He'll make it up to him next time. Definitely. Next race they'll sit back here and watch, no adventure, no trick, just the two of them like Dee wanted.

"Get set!"

Next race for sure, but not this one.

"It's time to show them, we are more than meets the eyes"

And those golden eyes grow dull again, the smile vanishes into a frown and for some reason, Pax feels his spark drop painfully when it does.

"Oh no"

It's not angry or sad, it's not even exasperated, he sounds... disappointed, almost defeated.

But it's alright, he'll make it up to him, 1000% 

Next time, promise.

But right now they have a race to win.

[chaos-of-the-abyss]

amazing acting from both of them but i just cannot get over the sheer stupidity here 😭 why the fuck would you say that

[bluberimufim]

If you ever think that you're stupid, please remember that the first time I listened to Largo al Factotum from "The Barber of Seville", I commented "hey idk why but I think Figaro would get along great with Susanna from Nozze, pity she already has a husband tho".

Susanna.

From "Le Nozze di Figaro".

The person Figaro is supposed to be nozze-ing.

[enlitment]

Good luck finding something sexier than this 💅

(the Diderot copy from the library had a foldable spreadsheet of the division of human knowledge from the Encyclopédie inside 😍)

[bitchapalooza]

Veneziano: Hey Fratello, look. Look Fratello.

Romano: *ignores him*

Veneziano: Fratello, it’s important I swear, just look.

Romano: *still ignoring him*

Veneziano: Big brother. Fratello. Momo. Roma—

Romano: Oh my god WHAT!? What the hell is so important, Vene!?

Veneziano: *flips him off and runs*

Romano: YOU LITTLE FUCKING SHIT—

[comatoaster]

The idea of a 16th century woman getting dicked down by the bartender Willhelm from ye olde tavern and then telling her husband it was an incubus to avoid getting burnt at the stake just brings me so much joy

[2700k-moogie]

Fellas

Is it gay to kiss your homies

[kavehayati]

AAAH I have a mutual who’s 18 and he sorta kinda is flirting with this one guy who is a minor as a joke of course ( to which a concerned anon said that it’s weird ) but I can’t help but flashback to er*s

[false-anomaly]

LMAOOO no way my college just FORGOT they were expelling me?!??? "if you're well enough to be in mainstream education we don't understand why you aren't" bitch YOU KICKED! ME!! OUT!!!

[slutdge]

Going to my favorite local record stores google reviews was a mistake bc theres soooo many ppl complaining that it doesnt stock new records and is "too focussed on vintage" ok so go buy your shitty tswift records somewhere else bestie, its main focus is 80s punk and 60s psychedelic rock, why did you even come in here

[hauntingblue]

Weird that helaena didn't foresee this btw she has predicted nearly every tragedy that happens to the greens

[yuiryuu]

please, kill me. Take my life away. Take me to heaven…or hell. I don’t want to live anymore.

(I failed my math exams)

[cum-villain]

fucking hell i tried to watch the sotu address but had to quit after half an hour, how are people even understanding what hes saying

[jhuzen]

spoilers / leaks for dan heng il /////.

. . ... forgive me for my language but FUCK YES. YOU SHARE MY THOUGHTS. DAN HENG IL DESERVES TO BE BRED, WE MUST SIRE A HEIR FOR THE VIDYADHARA CLAN. GOING TO SURPASS THE LIMITS OF "VIDYADHARAS CAN'T BEAR CHILDREN" JUST SO PRETTY DAN HENG WILL GET BRED THOROUGHLY ( he'd probably start crying from overstimulation so quickly since he's a thousand-year-old virgin ) ....... TAKING HIS WHOLE ABILITY TO "BREATHE LIFE" IN A DIFFERENT WAY

PLEASE!!! THE WAY IM FALLING IN LOVE WORD AFTER WORD WHILE READING THIS. goddamnit now i wanna make a fic for IL dan heng. he deserves it so much. to be bred so good he bears children 😭

imagine breaking the one characteristic that an entire race has just by breaking one man’s back. dude i love it. i’m keeping this in the works so that i can write and coerce everyone into loving IL dan heng. you and i won’t be alone in this path dear anon,, everyone will want to breed our precious dan heng.