#also being dan heng’s first time in his many years of existence?

[jhuzen]

spoilers / leaks for dan heng il /////.

. . ... forgive me for my language but FUCK YES. YOU SHARE MY THOUGHTS. DAN HENG IL DESERVES TO BE BRED, WE MUST SIRE A HEIR FOR THE VIDYADHARA CLAN. GOING TO SURPASS THE LIMITS OF "VIDYADHARAS CAN'T BEAR CHILDREN" JUST SO PRETTY DAN HENG WILL GET BRED THOROUGHLY ( he'd probably start crying from overstimulation so quickly since he's a thousand-year-old virgin ) ....... TAKING HIS WHOLE ABILITY TO "BREATHE LIFE" IN A DIFFERENT WAY

PLEASE!!! THE WAY IM FALLING IN LOVE WORD AFTER WORD WHILE READING THIS. goddamnit now i wanna make a fic for IL dan heng. he deserves it so much. to be bred so good he bears children 😭

imagine breaking the one characteristic that an entire race has just by breaking one man’s back. dude i love it. i’m keeping this in the works so that i can write and coerce everyone into loving IL dan heng. you and i won’t be alone in this path dear anon,, everyone will want to breed our precious dan heng.

[wwaheoh]

“Growing Old Without Them…”, HSR x gnReader, Angst/Comfort

Dan Heng x gnReader, Jing Yuan (+Yanqing, familial) x gnReader

c/w: mentions of death, losing a partner, mentions of canon characters being dead

a/n: had this in my brain for a bit but never wrote it down. intend to do Svarog (+Clara, familial) and Huo Huo (+Hanya and Xueyi, all familial) another time.

Across the cosmos, on all those worlds that seemed so inadequate from the outside, were billions of different forms of life. Organic, mechanical, animalistic, sentient, artificial, plants. A majority of these were non-sentient, acting majorly on instinct rather than linear thoughts that more complex lifeforms held.

You found companionship in this infinite expanse of cosmos, things you’d hold deep within until your dying breath. Yet, your last moments among the living would be ages before theirs. Differences in species would pull you apart before either of you wished, unable to stop the ride to the end, no matter if you even wished to stall for longer. Not without compromising what made you human.

Dan Heng ///

You had joined the Astral Express early in your life, followed the tracks along March 7th, Himeko, Welt, the Trailblazer, and Dan Heng. It had been fun- if hectic and at times life-threatening. Run-ins with law enforcement, hijinks with people you’d met, defeating Aeons that sought to bring destruction to existence.

During these travels, you’d gotten plenty close with your fellow Trailblazers, but none as close as Dan Heng. Closed off and reserved at first, you slowly chipped at his walls with March 7th, and later the Trailblazer, learning of his past on the Xianzhou Luofu and making sure he knew he was always accepted by the family he protected. Once those thoughts of being turned on by his past had finally been cleared, things spiraled into another and the two of you ended up with each other. Spending time in the Data Banks, getting him out of said Data Banks to go on dates and spend time going outside. Basking in each other's presence and spending each minute with each other.

It was all so long ago…

Welt was the first of the crew to go. With the power from Nanook’s fall, the Astral Express had been able to open a rift into his World, dropping him off for him to finally return to his family. It was heartfelt, tears shed, and while they only got to briefly meet those he called family- while also seeing some familiar faces on unfamiliar people, the Astral Express had to return.

March 7th decided to settle down on a planet as she grew older, wanting stability after years of traveling. Of course she still sometimes went off on journeys with and without the Astral Express, meeting up every once in a while to catch up.

Himeko was the first to pass. Having traveled on the Astral Express since she was a teenager, she’d lived the Trailblazing life to the fullest. She passed her experience maintaining the Express to the Trailblazer, with their odd knack for upkeeping and fixing mechanical issues. It was a sad day for everyone, with many attendees from various factions all paying respects to the late Navigator.

The Trailblazer, being born through artificial means and being powered by the Stellaron buried beneath them, would live longer than the average human.

You however, were just an average human. Aging so much faster than your longer lived boyfriend. That day became apparent when you found gray hair among the many strands of hair.

A sense of dread loomed in Dan Heng’s heart, dampening each day he had. It made him ache, desperate to spend as much time as he could. He picked up a hobby similar to March’s, vlogging. Each day he’d record, you spending time with him, you making food, your outings together, anything, as much as he could. It was a bit iffy at times with how much he tried, having to pry the camera off his hands so he could continue living in the moment instead of the future.

It took an intervention between March, the Trailblazer, Jing Yuan, and you to get him to ease up a little.

One day, you realized that you felt as though your time was near. Himeko had the same thing, something along the lines of one of the Trailblaze’s blessings. Pom-Pom fretted over you more than usual, when you stumbled to get off the seat after chatting with him. They’d recommended you to take the day off tomorrow and spend time with Dan Heng.

They say animals can detect death coming for humans before humans even know what is going on.

-

Sitting on the grass, the two of you watched as the stars above twinkled, soft clouds overhead with a light breeze pushing them forward.

You loved Dan Heng, everything about him. And he, the same. Staying with you even as age came to you. As your skin sagged and hair grayed. Sometimes he’d even get mistaken as a grandson- funny but it did put a small damper on the mood when it was during one of your dates.

He laid beside you as you relaxed, reminiscing on the past and your experiences. All the fun, all the bad, the awkward, and the eccentric.

Slowly, you fell into a deep slumber…

Dan Heng weeped, for decades he’d stay up thinking about you, going through old video logs and recordings. Stelle and Jing Yuan helped him when he was at his lowest, when all he could do was cry and beg for you to return.

After decades of grief, he’d finally begin to move on. Keeping memories of you, through his clothing, oftentimes wearing accessories you’d bought for him, even if they were goofy and broke his stoic image. He’d tell stories to newcomers of the Astral Express, telling them all about his adventures and those he shared them with. One day, the two of you would be reunited. When it was his time to go, his next reincarnation would have their chance to experience life and all the wonders that came with it, like he did.

Jing Yuan + Yanqing (Parental) ///

Natives of the Xianzhou Luofu weren’t strangers to the passing of short-lived beings. Being a fleet with connections to many other planets and factions, natives would see the passings of those they’d befriended many a time. It was never easier, the pain of losing someone was difficult, but it could never prepare them for someone close dying so quickly.

You weren’t a Native to the Xianzhou, being born offworld before somehow making your way to the ships. It was a miracle you had gotten so close to the General, with some even ringing alarm bells at how someone so detached from the Xianzhou got so close to the very top of political power. It was, in truth, all lucky coincidence and fateful timing.

Over the time of knowing Jing Yuan, you’d gotten close, going from a stranger, to a confidant, to lovers. Time at your shared home, reading and resting. Sometimes sparring for fun- though he’d be heavily holding back. You still lost without landing a single hit. His laughs during were as anger-inducing as they were pleasing to listen to.

Sure it was a bit annoying having to deal with the political business that came with being the General’s wife. Dealing with news reporters, IPC trying to get to him through you, and overall mistrust due to you being a non-native. But it came with the territory, and as you laid with him, braiding his fluffy hair as he hummed a soft tune, you knew you wouldn’t trade it for anything.

During your time, you’d also come to know Jing Yuan’s retainer, and adopted son, Yanqing. A young man seemingly born to take the role of Lieutenant, training with passion and upholding his duties to the Luofu with all he had. He was one of the people who was suspicious of you at first, being as close to the General as he was, it wasn’t due to your status as a non-Native, but protectiveness of his father.

Slowly you built up a rapport with him, speaking to him of his sword collection, his duties, spending time with him not as a soldier but as Yanqing, the kid who aspired to live up to his father’s legacy, the kid who worked so hard, that he sometimes forgot that he was a kid. Someone that wasn’t expected to be the next General right out the womb.

Over the years, you became integral to their little family. Upkeeping the house, tending to the garden, having food ready for them- especially learning that Yanqing would skip meals sometimes just to continue practice. The three of you would go on outings around town, not too often, he was still the General after all, but enough that it didn’t feel like you were being held hostage by the population outside. When you both turned in for the night, Jing Yuan was basically a giant warm pillow for you to snuggle soft and warm, with strong arms that made you feel protected.

One day, you had been getting ready for the day with him, going through your normal morning routine. While fixing your hair, you noticed something, a small silver strand. It made you stop for a second, alerting Jing Yuan that something was up. He looked over, freezing as he saw it as well.

After that day, he came incredibly protective of you, not to say he wasn’t beforehand already- but now he treated you as though you could break by anything other than gentle handling. Hell, he even admonished Yanqing when a sparring session had come a bit too close to where you sat watching. It was a bit mortifying for the both of you, surrounded by your men, watching their higher-up be reprimanded by their father.

Over time you decided to take matters into your hands and sit down with Jing Yuan to discuss this, letting him know that you weren’t some piece of glass. It took a lot of convincing but he finally let up, if still keeping an eye out for you.

One day, you had a realization as your legs seemingly gave out and you fell to the ground. That which came for every mortal, was coming for you. With a heavy heart, you contacted Fu Xuan, who you knew would already know what was happening. She cleared Yanqing and Jing Yuan’s schedule for the following days.

-

The three of you sat in a restaurant, the one where Jing Yuan loved to take you whenever the two of you could go on dates. The three of you spoke of the future, of the time spent with each other. The fun, the joyous, the sad, the embarrassing. The three of you left, heading home.

You gave Yanqing a warm hug, telling him that you loved him, and that he would do great things, but to remember to live, instead of working all the time. He cried in your arms.

Jing Yuan was already preparing the bed, a soft smile as you made your way in and settled down. The two of you reminisced, settling into the night with his strong arms holding you. As always you felt protected, secure, and happy.

The three of you turned in for the night. The three of you fell into a deep slumber. Two of them woke up as the artificial star of theirs rose.

-

Was this how Dan Feng felt for Yingxing? How the High Elder of the Vidyahadra felt as the one they loved died in their arms- pried away from eachother by the coldness of genetics.

Jing Yuan and Yanqing grieved for a long time, spending time with their loved ones, and remembering your time with them. They’d always remember to keep the garden going, cook those meals you’d cook for them. Yanqing remembered what you wanted for him and strived to improve himself while not overworking himself.

They’d remember, always. If you could not live for as long as they could, then they’d have to live long and happy lives, so the you in their hearts could live as well.

[kurim-chis]

this post in a nutshell: the Vidyadhara cycle can get a bit fucked up. sometimes. a lot of times. all the time, if you really think about it.

Note: i also blame my philosophy teacher. he was an awesome teacher, but philosophy class always made me question my own existence…

i think Dan Heng is right in wanting absolutely nothing to do with Imbibitor Lunae’s past and very clearly states he is NOT Lunae. However despite Dan Heng’s wishes and many people empathizing with him, in my opinion, it boils down to this:

the mentality of being a Vidyadhara

A case of “shut the fuck up and don’t spout bullshit, you don’t know how it feels, experience it yourself and then you know how hard it actually is”

First Note: Vidyadhara are just built differently — physically, mentally, and psychologically

For the vidyadhara, it’s their natural life cycle to be reborn with a clean slate every 700 years, possessing no reproduction capability and being immortal as long as they underwent the reincarnation process. They see it as normal and a “matter of fact” thing, and xianzhou natives do too, but can other non-vidyadhara species truly understand this? It’s kind of like how other species see things differently and have different morals from humans.

It’s a bit of a mind-fuckery because a vidyadhara is always the same person, but they always will get a clean state, and yet depending on each incarnation they might turn out completely different.

So they’re the same, but they’re also not.

Second Note: don’t say any bullshit until you’re the one going through it, then you will realize how hard it is

Basically this. Perhaps some aren’t going into a breakdown when their vidyadhara friend just deletes them from their life (or well, the vidyadhara is deleted and born anew), and they try to accept it because they’re too old and are wise enough to accept their lot in life, but there are others who are just bamboozled by it, even though they must have thought they were prepared for it. exhibit 1) Jing Yuan

Even the vidyadhara are not excerpt from this.

There’s a vidyadhara mirage who says his vidyadhara lover just went into an egg. To the race, this is a normal cycle of life. She won’t remember him. She will be the same person born anew. She will be a different person too. She can’t be burdened with anything of her past incarnation. He knows she is not dead, but he stares at the rolling waves and feels as if she is because he cannot and as a vidyadhara he must not see her reincarnation as HER.

But his feelings won’t matter, do they? This mirage said he couldn’t wait for his turn to come, but this wouldn’t guarantee him another future with his lover because CLEAN STATE you know? After returning to his egg, being reborn anew, then all of this — his grief, his solitude, his love — won’t matter anymore because he will also stop caring about it as well. It won’t matter. They won’t matter. The only thing that matters is their new life, but at that point that is NOT going to be the life of their incarnation, is it?

This is such a contradiction, isn’t it? Perhaps in “another life” he had also thought this, had also grieved for someone else or been grieved in return, but those lifetimes don’t matter in the same way his current one won’t matter after he reaches 700 years old.

“So you’re gonna be reborn after another 157 years? That’s how your race keeps being immortal and wards off the mara disease? Just the way you were created by Permanence? Cool.”

“So you’re the SAME but also a DIFFERENT person every time you go into an egg? That’s kinda trippy, but OK.”

“What will happen after that? Will we still be friends when you wake up?”

and the next time your friend appears, they are a child and you are absolutely no one to them

(…)

(how is this immortality?)

(my friend/brother/sister/parent/mentor/student/comrade/lover has not forgotten, because this is not something as simple as forgetting, this is a clean state — in a way only the vidyadhara, transcendent and celestial, can achieve. a cruel severing of everything you had to do with them.)

(they are gone, and in their place is a child with a clean state)

(it’s as if they are dead and you’re left to deal with a legacy—)

So despite what Dan Heng says and the Vidyadhara culture, I can also see why Jing Yuan struggles and is pained by the sight of Dan Heng. And also why Xianzhou deems Dan Heng guilty.

I also can understand why Blade is so enraged at Dan Heng and refuses to back down or stop trying to kill him (Blade being insane put aside) due to his incarnation’s sins, because how UNFAIR would it for Imbibitor Lunae to get a clean state just like that? What, they’re same person? But they get to start over as a NEW person? All his sins like that, gone? What sort of bullshit is that?

Just. This whole vidyadhara reincarnation thing can get very, very fucked up, you know?

[sugar-phoenix]

Intro + Masterlist 📖🌱✒️

take two on my big intro post

Introduction

Hello! I'm sugarphoenix (you can call me sugar or phoenix) and I'm a writer and aspiring author from the US. Here's the basic rundown:

19 years old

she/her pronouns

aside from writing, I am an aspiring UX/UI designer. I hope to one day be a pioneer in the industry.

feel free to tag me in anything! I enjoy being tagged in tag games, even if I might not have the time to get around to all of them.

Genres I often write in:

fantasy/romantasy

animal elements i.e. at least one character is an animal shifter/has animalistic traits/characters are compared to animals metaphorically

finding oneself in the mess

dark fantasy/ethereal vibes

You can also find me on ao3 with the same name + here's my kofi if you ever want to tip me <3 taglist: @ashirisu

Current WIP(s)

The Blood That Bonds Us: A fantasy novel that can be succinctly summed up as Rapunzel with Red Riding Hood elements; where Rapunzel is also the Wolf, and the Prince is also Red Riding Hood.

Summary:

There is a prophecy in the kingdom of Venatoria that a Black Wolf will rise from the forest and bring destruction and a new reign to the kingdom. Because of this, generations of royals have hunted down and killed most of the Wolves that reside in the surrounding forest.

Prince Rhydian's father was no different, and he died in a hunt when Rhydian was only a child. But now Rhydian is no longer a child, and he's old enough to prove his worthiness to the crown and possibly take the kingdom back from the greedy crown regent, Alaric. Alaric, however, sets a heavy task for the prince: he must go and rescue a maiden that has been locked in a tower by a witch near a neighboring village. Many young men have tried and failed to rescue her, and the witch is ruthless. But Rhydian will do anything if it means he can reclaim his father's crown and throne.

Daciana has spent all her life in a tall tower. She is protected and held captive by the witch Dame Gothel, who found her in the forest and recognized her for what she is: the Black Wolf. Dame Gothel doesn't hold back on telling her this, and Daciana knows of her fate. She is a monster, a bringer of destruction, and one of the most hated enemies of Venatoria, who are blissfully unaware of her existence. Daciana doesn't feel like a monster, and perhaps life outside the tower isn't that bad, despite what she's been told. But although Dame Gothel has done all she can to keep Daciana within the tower, it's often ill-advised to try and fight destiny. And it will only be so long before the beast is freed from her prison.

CHARACTER TAGS: #♚ . rhydian / #✧ . daciana / #◦ . vincent

This is my main WIP, and the one I'm working the most on.

POSTED WRITING

Blood That Bonds Us Snippets -- screenshots taken directly from my scrivener that give you a little peek into the first draft

Chapter 1 snippet -- snippet of chapter 1 of the first draft

rhydian. -- short character exploration for Rhydian

mourning your captor, your only mother -- short snippet of Daciana's POV (spoilers)

Fanfictions

As of 6/22/2024, any further fanfiction will be posted on my fanfiction blog @sugarphoenixlovesfanfic !!

Fandoms that I'm in:

Honkai Star Rail

Wuthering Waves

My Hero Academia

Deponia

Honkai Star Rail Fics

the new barista -- a super short drabble about a college au in which Dan Heng is the cute barista at your college's cafe.

Death of a Cowboy -- in which I rewrite and expand upon Boothill's past.

𖥔 . overheating . 𖥔 -- Boothill overheats in your getaway vehicle.

cowboy, you have a hard time wrapping things up neatly. ✦ -- Boothill is loud and messy but he grows on you. One day he does something unexpected.

I think I'll take my noodles spicy -- You stop by Jiaoqiu's stall to try his noodles. They are very. Spicy.

My Hero Academia Fics

unfinished hawks x oc fanfic (ao3 link)

"there's this thing I want to say to you" -- short fluffy drabble about Hawks confessing his love to unnamed fem character

Deponia Fics

maudlin -- a short fluffy fic that expands a scene in Deponia Doomsday (spoilers)

All fanfiction can be found under the tag #✤.fanfics .

Short Stories / Miscellaneous

All my writing can be found under the tag #✎ . writings

drabbles in red

complete short stories in pink

Masterlist:

she was a monster (monster) -- short drabble that uses experimental writing

Flash Fiction Friday Prompt "On The Edge" -- short drabble that follows the prompt. it may or may not be somewhat connected to "she was a monster (monster)."

I wrote that one tumblr post -- i wrote a couple of one shots of that one tumblr post with a crow and a cat being familiars and trying to find their witches.

dagger queen -- exercise where I write a drabble using two prompts. dark fantasy/romantasy vibes.

un-satyr -- COMPLETE short story about a satyr who is different from the rest.

vampire x poisoned werewolf -- COMPLETE (?) short story about a vampire and a werewolf putting aside their differences (and perhaps getting a bit too close) in order to save one of them.

cherry red -- flash fiction about a girl and what she leaves behind.

my roommate is a vampire -- currently unfinished short story about a college roommate who is, well, a vampire.

Writing Challenges

2024 November 50k Words Challenge

dividers by cafekitsune!

[calamitus]

💐 BOUQUET - create a bouqet for them! what do those flowers mean? are any of the flowers their particular favourite? // for danheng!

OC EMOJI ASKS || @fanflames

💐 BOUQUET. create a bouqet for them! what do those flowers mean? are any of the flowers their particular favourite ?

given what little i could find on flowers in HSR ( outside of ball peony & first snow ) i've elected to refer to flowers from the real world and their connotations here ( though i imagine since the aforementioned flowers seem to be based on real ones, some variant in HSR exists ).

dan heng's bouquet consists of:

white orchids, white cymbidium, white alstroemeria, white chrysanthemum. white gyp for filler flowers & possibly eucalyptus for foliage.

white orchids can symbolize a message of hope and new beginnings. as someone who has been running from his past and was taken in by himeko and the others on the express, dan heng has ( very tentatively ) found a place that he can, at least for the time being, ' start anew. ' he is able to explore and aid those in need, alongside those he considers friends. orchids are also thought to have existed for over 100 million years, proving to be one of the oldest known flowering plants in the world. ( dan heng is also old. ) the cymbidium symbolizes ' pure, valued and respected friendship ' , and is a popular gift for friends to give one another in china. it also stands for morality & virtue. / white is a colour that can either be used to convey purity and innocence or death and mourning dependent on the event and situation in chinese culture. while the white cymbidium could be used to mourn the loss of what was once a pure and respected friendship, it could also be used to celebrate the purity of the new bonds he has made upon joining the express. the white alstroemeria, not unlike the last flower, is often used to symbolize grief and / or loss; something common in many flowers of the lily family, but the alstroemeria is often also assigned a meaning of 'support and 'friendship.' this once again pertains to dan heng's past and future both. the loss of his close bonds, his home and his sense of self and how he grieves that loss / juxtaposed with the new path he has undertaken and the support he is steadily allowing himself to feel and give in exchage. the chrysanthemum are a common flower in china, and are 'symbolic of autumn and of the ninth lunar month.' the chinese word for chrysanthemum is similar to jū, which means "to remain" and jiǔ which means "long time", giving them the connotation of duration and long life, which is something that both blesses and haunts dan heng as a vidyadhara & following the assumption that the ' sin ' he committed that resulted in his exile correlates to themes of mortality and the blessing of the abundance. white chrysanthemum also represent death, and are commonly used at funerals. dan heng's character also seems quite inspired by the 'aesthetic' of autumn and falling leaves, as an additional note. white gyp (gypsophilia) flowers represent purity & innocence, often of children, and are used at weddings or baby showers. following the assumption that dan heng is a vidyadhara and was 'reborn' / lost memories of his past and is comparatively young and naive to who he was before, this flower conveys his new beginnings and the ( perhaps temporary ) innocence / ignorance of his own sin and his past. eucalyptus is often used to represent strength, protection and abundance. the abundance plays a large role in dan heng's past, present and future, in ways he knew, no longer knows and will later come to know. he has quite a sense of justice, and whether or not he chooses to express it, holds the desire to protect those who are unable to protect themselves.

he doesn't particularly spend much time thinking about botany or flowers specifically ( with everything else he's got to do & his nose stuck in books about all sorts of different things ) but appreciates their beauty all the same. his favourite of those listed would probably be the white orchid, though rather than in a bouquet i imagine he'd be the type to prefer the natural beauty of nature untouched by mankind.